#it wouldn't have been as impactful if it happened to tom or something

[therealvinelle]

From what I can tell, in the actual books there's just one line from Sirius saying Alphard left him some gold, and not much other canon mention of him. How did Alphard become such a big character in your fics/Tom Riddle's love interest?

You know, that's a very good question.

The true and full story behind how Alphard Black became an important character in our fics is laden with a lot of spoilers and back-and-forth, though I will say it wouldn't have happened at all if @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin hadn't already used him in When Harry Met Tom. When we later then needed to add a character for The Man Who Would Be King, Alphard's name lent itself easily and on discussion we found he was the only that really fit the role we needed a character to play. He went on to become a surprisingly large part of secret fic, now we've imprinted on him like baby ducks and he's in everything.

So, what makes Alphard Black so fitting for what we need him to be?

We have little to go on from canon, but compared to some of the other characters fandom has decided on characterisation for, we at least have something to go on when we make stuff up. Oh, we have to conjecture, fabricate, and headcanon away, and for every possible Alphard Black we draft up someone could have used those same clues to create a different Alphard, but we would both be following certain constraints.

By contrast, characters like Alice Longbottom or Abraxas Malfoy have very strong fanon characterizations, a lot read into them, but I'd argue we have just as much, if not slightly more, to go on with Alphard Black.

With that said, here is the information we have on Alphard and how Muffin and I used every bit of it to make up as much as we could.

Teen pregnancy 1.0: Pollux edition

Alphard's sister was born when their father Pollux Black was twelve, and his father married her mother. Going by his young age, I assume this was so Walburga wouldn't be a bastard. Walburga, by her painting's ravings, appears to have spent all her life in 13 Grimmauld Place, she feels a connection to "the house of my fathers" and always had a strong sense of Black identity she tried to pass on to her sons: I think it's a very fair assumption that the Blacks raised the baby, and not her mother's family (as her mother would have been in Hogwarts as well or else a statutory rapist, either case spells a grim homelife for Walburga).

Now, Alphard's birthdate is unknown since he's struck off the family tree, but it was sometime between 1925 and 1938.

Muffin and I have decided that he was born the next year, since this gives Tom a dorm mate, and more importantly it gives Alphard a teen father, one who learned nothing from last year and assumed no responsibility. Tom now has a fucked up dorm mate, and we didn't have to (completely) invent a character.

You now have two kids raised by family members not their parents since their father is a literal thirteen-year-old, and the generational age gap is so narrow that when Walburga starts school her paternal aunt Dorea is canonically a fifth year. They want for nothing materially and the family does step up, but the complete parental absence in their life has an impact.

For the sake of funny, we thought Arcturus Black, who is already raising Lucretia and Orion, is our candidate for raising his cousin's spawn. Now Walburga's marriage to her second cousin is to someone who was raised alongside her, which is funny and so awful. Another feasible candidate is Cygnus Black, Pollux's father and currently raising four kids, but... not as funny.

Teen pregnancy 2.0: Cygnus edition

Cut to 1951. Alphard is a happy bachelor, his father has stopped having kids (legitimate ones anyhow), Walburga's happily married to their cousin, and then... their brother Cygnus does a booboo.

Bellatrix is born, Cygnus is thirteen. Andromeda's birthdate is unknown, but must have been while he was in Hogwarts because Narcissa is born in 1955, while he is still seventeen.

The same problem as with Pollux arises with Bellatrix: who wants baby? And, as with Walburga, I think a fair argument could be made that the Blacks took her in, not the Rosiers.

There are many options here (and can't rule out the Rosiers), but I think it's fair to assume Bellatrix went to live with close family.

Per the Black family, this gives us three options that I find feasible: Walburga, Alphard, and Pollux.

I don't think it was Walburga, I think that would inevitably have come up in canon, either as Walburga lost her shit when Andromeda eloped, handled her grief differently after Regulus died if she had surrogate daughters, or Sirius had a different dynamic with Bellatrix. The Orion-Walburga-Sirius-Regulus family unit doesn't come across at all as having had three nieces raised alongside the boys, so Walburga's a no.

Which leaves us with Alphard, Pollux, someone in the Rosier family, or extended Black family raising Bellatrix.

Pollux, per his wild youth, might not be topping the lists. One could posit that Pollux wants a second shot at parenting and would take in his granddaughter based on this, but he already has Cygnus if he wanted a second shot at parenting. Still, he's a candidate.

So is Alphard, however, who is living alone and has no wife to worry about, no children of his own, and a pile of gold. Per his choice to give Sirius gold after he ran away, one can also assume he's one to come through for family, which fits with taking in his much younger brother's daughter.

TL;DR: we can't prove Alphard Black didn't raise the Black sisters, or at least care for them in their early years, but someone must have and it might as well have been him.

Let there be no pregnancies and no marriages

We then enter the bit that had Muffin go "oh, gay. I will use him in my fic" long before any of the detective nonsense to come up with the above, which is that Alphard did not marry. Now, that could mean anything, perfectly straight people don't marry and gay people do marry.

However, from 1938 through 1960, no Black heirs are born. Which isn't necessarily a long time, on the contrary, Cygnus has been supplying the family with children for years now, luck just had it so they're all daughters who can't pass on the family name.

Still, taking a step back, Orion, Walburga, Alphard, and Lucretia (who married a Prewett) are all adults who are just not having any children. The Orion and Walburga are perhaps not even married, we don't know when they married, and it could be they married specifically because neither of them had found anyone else to marry and there were no sons. Alternatively, they married earlier but then did not have children until they were in their mid-thirties. Considering Lucretia's childless marriage, it might be some Blacks struggled with infertility.

A bit of nerding about why I think Walburga waiting so long to have children is odd

The tldr for Western European demographics is that if you can afford to have children and provide for your family, you will marry and have children early. The upper classes have historically married and had children much younger than the lower classes because of this. The mother's education will also impact when she has children - higher education means having children later.

I think we see this reflected in the wizarding world, in that education is both low (arguably nonexistent, considering the curriculum at Hogwarts) and in magic making material considerations Muggles must make obsolete. And we do see a lot of young parents - Lily and James are both 20 when they have Harry, Andromeda is maximum 24 when she has Nymphadora Tonks, Molly Weasley is 20 when she has Bill, Narcissa is 25 when she has Draco, Fleur would have been 23-25 when she had Victoire, Harry and Ginny are 26 and 25 when they have James Sirius, Hermione and Ron are 26-27 when they have Rose...

Young is the norm.

And with the Blacks, who were lineage obsessed, and where Walburga is never reported to have had a career keeping her busy, I find it very interesting that Walburga doesn't have children until she's 35.

There are three possible explanations I can see:

Walburga and Orion didn't want to have children, and waited for Alphard or Cygnus to get on with it, only for Cygnus to only have daughters and Alphard to have no children at all (bit unlikely since they had two sons, a couple who pointedly did not want children would have called it quits after the first)

They had fertility issues

Walburga and Orion did not instantly marry, but waited for years until it became clear Orion wasn't going to find anybody else, Alphard apparently not either, and Cygnus said "fuck you all, I've contributed three kids already", at which point Walburga and Orion were both single, both cared about the lineage, and went for it.

We've gone for option 2 since it's just funnier to have a pair of cousins all over each other at Hogwarts, "Aren't they-" "Yes and they're very happy together :)", but I think option 3 is pretty feasible too.

Either way, you can read into Walburga and Orion from the late births of their children and you also get free Alphard characterisation, because his choice not to marry starts to look rather pointed.

Back to Alphard

While the Blacks were not dying out at the time, they also weren't swimming in children. Only Cygnus was passing on the family name, and that was exclusively to daughters, and he went on to have no more (legitimate) children after leaving school. Pollux wasn't having any more (legitimate) children, and while there are and grandfathers uncles on the family tree who could do the deed they were quite old, many unmarried, and most importantly they canonically had no children.

We're down to Alphard, Orion, and Cygnus having to pass on the family name, with Orion and Walburga a decade into their marriage with no sons to show for it. Sure, Cygnus could have sons, but that would be placing all their dragon eggs in one dragon basket (and indeed, he had no sons).

Why doesn't Alphard marry?

The family must have brought it up, if not pressured him. Alphard not marrying in a world where arranging a match would have been the easiest thing in the world looks to me like a deliberate refusal.

The giving of the money to the Sirius

This all brings us to the one thing we know for sure that Alphard did in his life: he willed money to Sirius after he'd been disowned.

We know Alphard was not a blood traitor prior to this, or he'd have been burned off earlier.

I frankly take this to mean Alphard most likely subscribed to pureblood supremacy, or at least he did not mind it enough to do anything else to cross his family. Giving money to Sirius isn't a political act, it's an uncle providing for a family member who has suddenly lost everything.

(And, if we assume Alphard himself is gay: it's an uncle who sees his nephew run away from home to be with his best friend, and perhaps drawing a few conclusions of his own about the strength of Sirius's friendship to James. There are many ways to interpret his choice to support Sirius financially, is what I'm saying.)

It also seems a distinct overreaction to me that Walburga would burn him off the family tapestry for something like this, and... it seems very much like one angry, mourning, woman's way of hurting a brother she can no longer confront. If she had been hoping Sirius wouldn't make it out in the wild and be forced to return, then Alphard giving him money would be a betrayal of the highest order.

Walburga putting a cigarette to her wallpaper isn't the same as the entire Black family disowning Alphard posthumously, it's an act of grief and anger.

Where we make things up wholesale

I'll go ahead and assume Alphard was gay, had a good and stable but slightly fucked up family life, and got overly attached to his dorm mate Tom Riddle as a stranger to all of this who perhaps seemed above it all. I also vote he raised Bellatrix, Narcissa, and Andromeda, because it's a more interesting option than Pollux. (In case you didn't notice, Muffin and I subscribe to the Black family being as fucked up as we can reasonably make them.)

Vinelle, what was the point of this?

My point is that we may not have any canon appearances to go on with Alphard Black, but we do have dates, biographical facts, what he did with his will, a few statements from Walburga's insane painting and other characters, and a whole lot of imagination. And an obsessive tendency.

And a willingness to say "Mm, no. Can't read. Sorry, that fact's just wrong." when we don't like things (more specifically, Sirius's phrasing making it sound like Alphard died not too long after Sirius ran away from home, which would make him dead for The Man Who Would Be King, a fic that takes place in 1982. We will assume Sirius meant "gave", not "left".)

Wee.

[do-you-know-this-adhd-character]

Characters Marked Anything Other Than "Accepted And Ready To Post" or "Already Posted"

someone said they thought this would be useful, so I'm making it. I have nothing against any of the submitters for these characters, to be clear, and for anything not in the "Dark Red: Inherently Unpostable" category you can submit more evidence to make them more postable!

Dark Red: Inherently Unpostable

You, from Real Life: Real person.

Oli Theorionsound, from Empires SMP: Too close to a real person for me to be comfortable posting them.

Red: Not Enough Evidence

Todd Chavez, from Bojack Horseman: Only evidence provided was vibes.

Estinien Varlineau, from FFXIV: Evidence provided was for neurodivergence, but not for ADHD specifically.

Siyun Baek, from Dreaming Freedom: Only evidence provided was fidgeting, which is not enough to say ADHD instead of other neurodivergence.

Kris, from Deltarune: Evidence is vibes only.

Richard Lipschitz, from Nerdy Prudes Must Die: Evidence is vibes only.

The Collector, from The Owl House: Only evidence provided is energetic personality, which isn't inherently ADHD.

Orange: Unsure If Enough Evidence. Would Prefer More. Please Submit More

Max Good, from A Goofy Movie: This one teeters on the edge for me; it has some evidence, but doesn't feel super compelling. Will probably end up deciding whether to post on the day it comes up, honestly. Please submit more if you see him as ADHD!

Tom Paris, from Star Trek: Voyager: Feels like it's on the edge between proof of ADHD and just proof of neurodivergence or personality traits. Would like more ADHD-specific evidence. I have watched Voyager but it was too long ago for me to provide my own evidence

Mammon, from Obey Me: Only evidence provided is impulsivity. Unsure if that's enough or not. Because at least part of my criteria is does it Feel Compelling To Me I vary day by day on if that's enough. So more evidence would be great.

Rand Ridley, from Inside Job: Feels kind of vague, I probably could judge this one if I actually knew the character, but I don't. Might do a wiki dive and see if that helps. More evidence would be great.

Dewey Finn, from School of Rock: Evidence is a combo of factual and vibes-based, and the factual evidence is a little weak (not getting things done on time and irresponsibility are common in ADHD people, but I'm not sure if it's enough or not.) More evidence please!

Yellow: Postable, But I Need To Look Into Something First

Mac McDonald, from It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia: Apparently someone makes a comment about him being ADHD in the show. Someone was kind enough to find where this happens for me, but I need to get around to watching it for myself and evaluate if it counts as canon ADHD. I'd usually say any assertion of ADHD in canon is a confirmation, but this is a sitcom and ADHD is unfortunately often used as a punchline. Been debating whether to just post him as "semi-canon".

Kaveh, from Genshin Impact: Submitter thought it might be canon. Need to check. Even if not, evidence was sufficient, so it'll be posted once I check (honestly should have been posted ages ago if I'd gotten around to checking.)

Tigger, from Winnie the Pooh: I've seen some cool analyses on how different Pooh characters represent different neurodivergencies and Tigger represents ADHD. Would like to dig one up to include in the post.

Flywhisker, from Warrior Cats: Author said she "wouldn't be surprised if Flywhisker was on the ADHD spectrum". Need to look up context because I think that's a canon confirmation, but she was submitted as noncanon.

Heinz Doofenshmirtz, from Phineas and Ferb: Submitter talks about how the writer based doofenshmirtz on himself and was later diagnosed with ADHD. Need to look into if said writer ever connected those two things. Evidence looks sufficient even if noncanon, though.

Amy Rose, from Sonic: Submitter's evidence was a video and I just haven't gotten around to watching it yet lol. Sounds postable from the text, I just need to watch the vid to make sure.

If your submission is not listed here, it has been deemed acceptable. If you see a character listed here as ADHD, this does not mean they will never be posted no matter what (except the dark red)! Feel free to make a submission with additional info.

[gnome-minion]

Thinking about how much disability is a core theme of Insignia. The four most plot important characters (Tom, Wyatt, Blackburn, and Vengerov) are all disabled, or are implied to be.

Blackburn's pretty obvious. He's a paranoid schizophrenic. And though that's mostly under control, the experience and the trauma of that sticks with him. And the entire series he views himself as an irredeemable monster. He's caught in what he did when he had that psychotic break.

(Also as a segue, it impacts the way he treats other mentally ill/neurodivergent characters, he even warns Wyatt before she receives her processor that it would change the way she thinks.)

Wyatt's is also pretty obvious. Although not directly stated, Wyatt is obviously autistic. She's canonically neurodivergent, as confirmed in Allies. For the most part, her arc is growing confident in herself, and comfortable with who she is. And also learning more social skills, while never becoming something different. Wyatt's autism is probably my favorite portrayal of autism I've ever seen.

Tom's disability is more subtle. The obvious thing about him having no fingers is explored. How it can aid him (like how the cybernetic fingers can move even if he's in the process of dying), and how they hinder him (they can be taken away, they lack sensitivity, and they're not his actual finger

But also Tom is clearly mentally ill. Even before Catalyst confirmed he was- he shows symptoms of a trauma disorder as early as Insignia. And in Vortex and Catalyst it's pretty blatant.

Catalyst is where all of his erratic behavior gets more explanations. His brain had the same problems that led to his mom developing psychosis and delusions. And while he had a neural graft to enlarge his frontal lobe, I don't think that would be a cure to whatever he's got, like most psychiatric treatments, it just helps with the symptoms .

Also regarding the fact that he wouldn't pass a military psych eval, he generally lacks empathy, and has been generally implied to be a "psychopath", i think it's probable that he's cluster B as well.

Thats not even mentioning him having OSDD or DID considering he has an alter. I'm not throwing out the possibility of him having DID just cause no other alters besides Vanya are shown, cause there is some evidence he could have it in previous books.

And of course- Vengerov.

Major catalyst spoilers up ahead. But Vengerov as a child is heavily implied to be developmentally disabled in some way. After the processor was given to him around the age of 7-8ish he changed completely. Being able to recognize the pain being pushed upon him, and his own ambitions. I'll be honest I can't wrap my head around why this is, outside of a mashup of what happens when you give a young young child a processor, and the computer filling in for Vengerov where his brain wasn't developing as much.

This could easily be used to villainize Vengerov, to show he is an unfeeling, uncaring monster. But Neil's theory at the end of Catalyst changes that. Cause he points out that Vengerov was trying to basically take over the world, yes, but because he lived in a world full of awful evil people in power - he became the worst of them. If he lived in a world run by pacifists? He would be a saint. He would change the world for the better. It's not his, or anyone's nature to be evil. It's their nurture.

It's a really poignant moment. Not only for the political messaging but I think for the explicit sympathy it gives to Vengerov. It never diminishes or undercut how awful what he does is. But also acknowledges how the creation of such an evil person is a product of the system and the world around them, rather than the person's inherent "evilness"

It so wonderfully shows how much of a feedback loop this oligarchical system is. And how the world shapes people into monsters. Only getting worse and worse as time goes on.

Insignia is great, you guys.

[gunnerkriggcritical]

A Personal Reflection On Gunnerkrigg Court (by @kestrelknight)

I started reading Gunnerkrigg Court at least by the time of Chapter 20. I was in elementary school, and obsessed with a number of webcomics. Gunnerkrigg Court was among the two that I persisted in reading up into college. It has been a foundational piece of media for me; it was one of my models for good visual storytelling, for pacing, for mystery and atmosphere, for kitchen-sink fantasy. I even made a single page of a comic in middle school, heavily based on the "spooky magic girl in abandoned industrial setting" concept. I loved it.

I wouldn't care about Gunnerkrigg Court so much if I hadn't loved it for so long. I wouldn't be this frustrated, and hurt by the comic, if I hadn't loved it for so long, so much.

There were always a few little bits that made me uncomfortable in the comic, though I had difficulty articulating it- mostly the way young girls wound up being sexualized, or having romantic teases with older men (humans or magic wolves). None of it ever really impacted my enjoyment of the comic; I tried not to dwell on it. While I was frustrated by Annie's perpetual tolerance for her father's neglect, I assumed this was just the beginning of her character arc- that the point would be her coming to process and reckon with the fact that he had not treated her well, and that she was allowed to be angry about it.

The point at which I started having misgivings came at the same place as for many people: The Tree. This chapter hit me very hard, and very personally. I've never been in a situation similar to Annie's. I have been in situations similar to Kat. I was so affected by each individual update, I read more than the top comments- and was deeply disturbed by how many people tried to justify Tony's behavior, especially as comeuppance for Annie for cheating. From that point on, the comic was a source of stress and worry for me. I bore with it, because I loved it, and had faith that Tom would deliver catharsis at some point- that there was a point to all this, that he had something to say about the nature of neglectful and abusive parental relationships. He was writing one, after all.

Annie and the Fire meant so much to me, as someone who's struggled with anger, and a desire to please and placate others, to the point of struggling deeply with dissociation for years. It resonated with me to the point of being hard to read; but I kept with it, and accepted that Annie's journey wasn't done yet. Tony's remorse did very little for me, but it didn't kill my hope in Annie's development. Just because Tony feels bad doesn't negate what he's done, and what he's failed to do. That's obvious. I waited longer.

The moment where Kat suddenly turned face and decided Tony wasn't so bad a guy after all caught me completely off-guard. It felt like a betrayal- and I thought that was the point, that Annie's astonishment at this character change was the point. That now, Annie couldn't offload her own resentment onto Kat- she could no longer rely on someone else to get mad on her behalf. I hoped she would try to convince Kat, even indirectly, of why she should still be mad at Tony, and so come to realize she herself was still angry at him. Something. It didn't happen- but I was willing to wait. Tom had unfolded an incredible, dynamic slow-burn of a story for years and years. I had faith in him.

The second point came with Loup's arrival. Ysengrim and Coyote were some of the best characters in the comic, characters that had defined the dually humorous and sinister tone of the world. To have them both killed off, and replaced by a worse-designed, boring, Chaotic Stupid deviantart wolf without even the honesty of a glitter and rainbow color scheme? Yeah, hated it. The way the plot bucked and heaved, gaining and shedding momentum just as fast did not do it any favors.

I think I stopped reading during the Two Annies arc. I've never been a fan of stories that introduce time-travel or multiple universes late in the story, so it was never going to be to my taste. Combined with Loup, it just felt like the comic was off the rails. And since the plot was all over the place, there was little motivation for me to keep. waiting. To keep putting myself through this constant anxiety, reading every individual update- waiting to see if Annie's relationship with her dad would ever have the pay-off I wanted.

I was nervous it wouldn't come. I really couldn't tell, at this point, what Tom's intent was. But I didn't want to make assumptions prematurely. This was a story told a page at a time; it would be silly to get upset over a narrative resolution that wasn't even going to happen! But I realized that it was doing me no good to keep waiting around for the story to end, one way or another. I stopped reading sometime around 2019, having read for maybe a decade.

There was another layer to my discomfort with the comic, one more related to real life events and relationships. To put it bluntly, the main other GC reader I knew IRL agreed with Tom's framing: Annie was immature, headstrong, and was facing the just repercussions for her actions. Not in those exact words, but close enough in sentiment. I didn't have anyone else in my life to discuss the comic with. I was getting old enough that while I could see how Annie had made mistakes, and was a flawed, messy person- she was also a child, surrounded by uncaring or passive adults, in an uncaring system, constantly reprimanded for taking matters into her own hands while also burdened with immense responsibility. She was treated like a kid while being expected to act like an adult. There were very few adults in Gunnerkrigg Court that I could even like anymore. Even the kind ones frustrated me by their inaction. Obviously, you don't need to like the characters in a story to enjoy the story, but it did stop me from enjoying GC. I realize now that it was because the framing was leaning more and more into Annie being the problem, not the system and adults around her. Which, is horsepiss.

Every now and then I came back, and read several chapters in one go. It was a disappointment pretty much every time. Something felt off, and the parts of the comic I cared about weren't really the main focus. I dropped it again, picked it up, dropped it. There are still whole chapters of the comic I've not read, or only skimmed through. My family owns the first four volumes of the comic, some of which are coming loose at the binding for being handled so often. I've barely reread anything past The Tree.

Some point a few months ago, I was stewing over the comic again, and wanted to see if people on tumblr were talking about it at all. I found some fanart, and one or two critical posts that validated my feelings. I kept coming back to the tag, looking for more of both- and eventually came across gunnerkriggcourtcritical. I've gone through the backlog of this blog multiple times- every time my memories of the comic frustrate and upset me. It's comforting to know that other people feel the same way, underwent the same disappointment, even betrayal, reading this comic.

And finally, it was closure for Tony and Annie's arc. Not the closure I wanted- but at least I know now what Tom was planning. I don't regret giving him the benefit of the doubt. Now I know for certain what the point of it all was. I was disgusted by The Mind Cage.

I've been in Kat's situation: watching my best friend be ridiculed in a public place by their parent, helpless to do anything to help them. Listening to another friend make constant excuses for their parent, idolizing their worst aspects, wanting to be more like them, so they can feel in control. I've been like Annie, so horrified by my own anger, so unable to process my emotions, that I just cut them out and sent them to another country. I've washed my face in that mirror, the restroom unrecognizable around me.

Annie deserved better. There are no heroes or villains in Gunnerkrigg Court; there are abusive parents, and neglected children. There are no readers who keep up with the comic, just to complain and hate it for the sake of hating; there are readers who saw themselves in Annie, in Kat, and who are still trying to process what the hell happened.

Authorial intent does matter- but a good author understands that readers will always get the last word. Stories are a reciprocal process, especially episodic ones like webcomics. Tom had all the opportunities in the world to observe reader responses, and adapt his story to be both consistent with what he had already written, and sensitive to what dynamic he was portraying.

I still love Gunnerkrigg Court. I'll probably reread those volumes again, sometime. It's still what I point to, when I want to give an example of how simplified style can be more effective in comics. It was my model of a beautiful, effective webcomic, both in story and artwork. I'll never forget how Gunnerkrigg Court shaped my art and my stories.

I'll also keep thinking about how it ultimately failed to recognize the story it was telling, and turned to mean digs at its audience rather than reflect on its own content. I'll keep thinking about what a wretched message it is, to imply that being neurodivergence is the cause of child neglect, to point at Annie doing all the work in her relationship with her father and say: that's fine, and you're stupid for thinking that isn't fine. I'll keep dunking on Loup/Jerrek, because he sucks.

I'll never forget how Gunnerkrigg Court let me down.

[egcdeath]

You and succession anon have beautiful minds! I am excited to see where this series goes.

I saw someone bring up the open marriage thing, and I have to agree with you when I say I can't see it happening. Mostly because I always viewed Shiv asking for an open marriage as a power play. This is just my interpterion, but a large part of Shiv's character arc is the fact that she is often overlooked because she is a woman. She doesn't want that treatment from Tom (part of the reason why their relationship worked in the first place is because he is submissive), so her asking and them him agreeing to an open marriage is a way for her to maintain holding the upper hand between them. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, it has been sometime since I've seen the show, so my interpretation may be little off. Regardless, Patrick is still a man he does not have to deal with this. If he asked for an open marriage he wouldn't be re-establishing a power dynamic he'd just be asking for an open marriage.

Moreover, I think he wouldn't want one either like you said, so it doesn't make sense for him to ask. He loves reader in the AU and is also attracted to her, and again without the power play the only thing he'd gain from asking for an open marriage is having an open marriage, but he has no need for that.

So yeah he does care. I don't think he'd want her to leave him, and asking for an open marriage after your partner found you cheated is definetly rocking the boat (and quite frankly, something a lot of people would feel comfortable leaving a partner for. I'm not saying reader would leave him if he did, idk how reader would react tbh, but it's enough of a possibility that I don't think he would even bring it up....if that makes sense?). And again, i just don't think he'd want one in the first place. I think he would want a monogamous relationship. He cheated because of his own issues, with commitment not because he wanted to have a non-monogamous relationship.

Plus like you said, Patrick would hate seeing reader with someone else. I like how pretty much anyone who writes patrick x reader fics, have a tendency to make him somewhat jealous. It's basically canon at this point haha, but yeah like I said. He wouldn't be happy, and if he was the reason why reader was doing do, he would just feel worse. Although the comment another anon about reader cheating on Patrick in response made me giggle just because I support women in male dominated fields (infidelity).

Anyway, I think that's all my yapping for now :)

i completely agree!! succession anon is extremely big brained.

it's interesting that you saw the open marriage thing as a power play!! i can really see it being interpreted that way. i always viewed it more as shiv panicking over this commitment, but i think it makes a lot of sense that she would fear that their dynamic would shift with marriage and become more like the relationship she has with the rest of the men in her life where they're the ones whose voices have more of a say. in some ways it's almost like she's reasserting her power/dominance over tom and reassuring herself that things won't change, which makes how the show ends somehow even more depressing for her.

i think it's interesting applying this to the au because obviously, patrick is the only son in a family of sisters, so he isn't coming into the relationship with misogyny hanging over his relationship with reader and his family. i think the only way it would make sense to ask for an open relationship in this au would be if he were asking it to almost lessen the blow of telling you that he (spoiler alert) cheated. but i think that would have the opposite impact. also, with the way that it's written/planned out, i can't really see him asking for it in the moment. yours and his wedding night goes down slightly differently than tom and shivs but it's still similar enough.

i also love how you mentioned patrick's jealousy and it basically is canon at this point HAHA. patrick definitely has many jealous moments later on in this fic. you and him go through quite a bit of psychological torture. sometimes at the hands of the other person. sometimes at the hands of family members. sometimes at the hands of the public!! i'm excited to see what you think of how things play out!!

[claireelizabethsblog]

~ November's Books Reviewed ~

Red, White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuinston

(418 pages)

I had wanted to read this book for AGES and I'd say it definitely lived up to my expectations - every shitty christmas romcom! And I mean that both in a bad way, and a very very good way. I unapologetically loved every second of it.

I gave this book 4 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

A Fateful Crossing by Tom Hindle

(449 pages)

Not bad, but also, not good. A little messy and therefore a bit confusing, especially as a murder mystery, messy plot holes etc can really detract from the story in my opinion. That being said, I read it quickly and it was an easy and enjoyable enough story for that to happen.

I gave this book 3 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Babel by R. F. Kuang

(546 pages)

Really interesting concept. I think I maybe read it a little too quickly so didn't fully appreciate it as it should have been. The commentary and insights on society and racism and xenophobia was very well done and extremely engaging which is what's going to make me say (unusually for me) that the fantasy elements were the worst bits of this book for me, and I almost felt that the same story could have been told without the "magic" and it maybe would have been even more impactful to just be commenting on language and communication in a reality that is more obviously similar to our own.

I gave this book 4 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Murder Game by Tom Hindle

(373 pages)

Better than the other Hindle book I read in my opinion, but still a little too "convenient" almost to be a fully successful and good murder mystery for me. Still obviously an easy and light read though, otherwise I wouldn't have picked it up after the first one.

I gave this book 3 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Where are the Women by Sara Sheridan

(447 pages)

I was gifted this book and it is therefore an obvious movement away from the normal sorts of books I choose to read (it is designed more similarly to a guide book or history text book). In theory, this book is extremely interesting and so so undeniably well researched. I definitely learnt a lot. However, there is a reason I don't tend to read non fiction (or fictions books like this designed to be like a guide book), and that is because I don't particularly like reading them - they always feel just like an info dump with a lack of an actual story arc to me (which I suppose is exactly what they're aiming for...)

I gave this book 3 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Secret History by Donna Tart

(559 pages)

It is clever. And I'm always going to appreciate a book that is the first of its genre or does something new for the first time. That being said, just because somethings the first, rarely means it's the best, and I've definitely read other dark academia style books that I've enjoyed more to be honest. I found myself skim reading sections which speaks to the fact that I perhaps didn't find it as engaging as other books.

I gave this book 3.5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️🌗

Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus

(386 pages)

I was waring going in to this book since it has blown up, but mostly with people a little older than myself (late 30s-early 50s as far as I've seen), but I really really enjoyed this (and have now recommended it to all my reading friends my age too!)! It filled me with a righteous anger, but in a very validating way. Bits were a little predictable, but that hardly mattered when the social commentary was so much more important than the plot. I'd support a rule saying that every cis male should have to read this to be honest, it's such a peak behind the curtain at just the unintentional, but so deeply engrained micro aggressions that all us women experience, nevermind the outright moments of sexism and misogyny.

I gave this book 5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Almond by Won Pyung Sohn

(252 pages)

A bit of a non story, but I strangely enjoyed it. I read the entire thing in less than an hour so hardly an intense read, but it was a very interesting perspective and commentary on people and their relationships with each other, and with themselves.

I gave this book 3.5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️

The House in the Cerulean Sea by T. J. Klune

(398 pages)

Everything I wanted and/or needed. So wholesome. My only complaint actually is that I wanted more to be honest. All the characters are so so lovely and I loved their found family. T. J. Klune rarely disappoints.

I gave this book 5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[justsome-di]

What were your mixed feelings on the tkam play?

there were some moments where i felt like they didn't do atticus's character justice

bc as far as i remember (and i did read this part in the book after seeing the show) atticus takes the case to defend tom robinson bc he knows it's the right thing to do and he says if he doesn't defend him then he wouldn't be able to hold his head up in town or serve as any moral compass for his own kids. he says that even though there's no chance of winning, they still need to fight.

in the play the judge really has to convince him to take the case (which--fair. in the play they say that atticus isn't a criminal lawyer and they make a joke that he's actually bad at it(??)) and then he says to tom robinson's face that he didn't want to take the case. to be fair, atticus in the book does say that he wished he would never have to take a case like that one.

idk i feel like that's just the most important part of his character. like he knows what the outcome of the case is going to be, but he still knows that tom robinson deserves to be defended and all that jazz

they also left out some crucial parts imo. they left out the mad dog scene and replaced it with a scene where atticus starts to beat up bob ewell--which doesn't really deliver the same imo and was sort of weird. my favorite line of the book is when atticus says, after tom robinson dies, "he was tired of white man's chances and decided to take his own." it's like. really powerful imo. the movie also left it out, and I'm always sad it doesn't get more attention.

but!!! there were also really good parts of it!! some of the show was really funny. there were really good jokes. i think the comedic timing may have been a little inappropriate at times, but the added comedy to it was really good. atticus was a little looser than he comes across in the book.

they also draw out some of atticus's flaws a bit. like they kinda do confront the whole white savior thing. cal calls him out on some stuff which is good (altho tbh i have even more mixed feelings about her character but i won't go into it). overall, i really liked what they did with her and atticus's relationship.

but also idk the whole pacing of the show felt off. they go back and forth between the court room and then everything happening before that for the first act and part of act two. imo what made the court scene so tense in the book is that there's so much build up to it. you see how the town talks about atticus and tom robinson, and it really sets it all up for what's about to happen.

there was also a weird line they added and it was "all rise" and they say it over and over in act 1 and it's like. supposed to be this big impactful metaphor but 1) they explain the metaphor so it kinda looses something there and 2) it just felt like a line that was put in there so it could be put on a t-shirt and sold in the theater lobby

but it was very good don't get me wrong!! I'm just very pretentious and tkam is one of my favorite books

i just have my own ideas on how you could make tkam a stage play, and none of those ideas lined up with this one.

[tilliwriteapine]

Fandom Tracking: How I Got To Where I Am Today

Because sometimes it is wild to review how I got where I am today because of all the fandoms I have been immersed in. And someone once said, you don't forget fandom - it goes to sleep until it effing wakes up again one random day and oh no, you're back in deep!!! *lmao*

This is long and wordy, so if you do read my journey - thank you! And thank you to those who have influenced my fandoms over the years. So many have been through Tumblr, and I can say I continue to have multiple friends (that I still talk with!!) just from Tumblr because of fandom. And if we don't talk anymore, know that you shaped me, I am grateful for you, and I still care about you. <3

My first fandom was probably Adventures in Odyssey. And the internet proved to really fuel that obsession, especially with the Town of Odyssey website. Interacting with other fans was exhilarating (and pissed off my father because dial-up connection impacted his ability to call home during the day ;)) I believe I got into AIO in 2004 (maybe 2003, but the events of 2004 still ring in my brain that fueled some of my life choices about going into healthcare and nursing).

At almost the same time, I got into CSI:Miami, and then filtered through all of CSI (regular, Miami, NY) (this all happened really off the internet, tho, so it honestly was more of an obsession without the fandom). 2005/2006.

And that was in the early 2000s. I was staying up to watch CSI:Miami at 9/10pm even though I was barely an 8th grader *lmao* And I was a budding fanfiction writer - AIO, CSI:Miami, mary sues everywhere, crossovers left and right (I crossed AIO with CSI:Miami and NY so many times).

But my earliest fandom interaction on Tumblr (which was the typical medium of choice to fuel my trajectory through various fandoms since about 2009/2010) was for Firefly. I don't remember exactly how I got into Firefly—whether it was a combo of my sister mentioning it while we were watching Castle together or Tumblr—but I fell head-over-heels into It. Plus Castle became an obsession (the fanfiction I wrote - oof) - oh Nathan Fillion.

Firefly then led me to Chuck; I've noticed an unending trend of getting to new fandoms by just the actors alone (re: Star Trek). Adam Baldwin led to Zachary Levi.

Chuck (Zach, oh Zach) catapulted me into the Tangled fandom in 2010/2011 (there were so many glorious fanfics, both written and read!!). Tangled became my most-watched movie in theaters (11 times if I remember correctly).

Somewhere amongst the odds and ends of finishing high school and beginning college, I collected all of Prison Break on DVD (what a show). I wouldn't say I was ever "in" the fandom, but I certainly have held that show in my heart for *years*.

A friend in the Tangled fandom began posting Thor-related posts, and I was interested. Went to Thor in 2011 and walked out going, "Who is the sexy villain, and can I have that?!" - fell head-over-heels for Tom Hiddleston.

Hiddles was something else entirely for about three years - the movies I watched, the TV shows I watched, the absolute obsession with magazines and anything I could get my hands on. Bonkers time of my life! I saw The Avengers movie in 2012 twice on opening day (midnight, and then again later that evening). I would say Hiddles did get me into the Marvel universe (cinematic. I have never gotten into the comics).

Now this part is fuzzy. Which came first - the chicken or the egg? Did Hiddles get me to see War Horse, which led me to Benedict Cumberbatch? Or had I already been intrigued by BBC Sherlock? Not sure. Honestly, this time of my life was a blur. Nursing school. Needless to say, I then found Cumberbatch.

Watched all of his filmography (I think I did for Hiddles too), and then Cumberbatch was cast into Star Trek.

Growing up, I had watched some episodes of Enterprise. My sister seemed to enjoy bits and pieces, but I couldn't fully commit.

Well, considering Cumberbatch was cast into the sequel movie from the 2009 hit, I guess I needed to watch the first one.

At first, I kind of hated Chris Pine. No idea. Might have been the cockiness. Plus, I had to watch Star Trek 2009 about a million times to understand the entire plot. I do remember live-streaming ST 2009 for all my tumblr friends while working on care plans in nursing school. Bro, those were the days.

But now that I remember, I fell in love with Chris Pine when Rise of the Guardians came out Thanksgiving 2012. His voice acting was magical. And I was forever smitten.

Thus began the 12-year+ never-ending obsession with Chris Pine. And as we got closer to STID, I fell in love with Star Trek. 2012 changed my world - Star Trek was new worlds, galaxies, and adventures - everything I couldn't even imagine. Granted, I started off with only the new movies, but over the past 12 years, I have successfully watched every single series entirely at least once (I have been a loyal Trekkie of all the new stuff, love it so damn much!). I watched Into Darkness 13 times in theaters (still holds the record. Nothing beats my maternal grandmother and her 17 times seeing Devil Wears Prada, but ya know...)

But the friends I have made and still cherish today just from Star Trek and fandom alone was worth every single painful detail of growth I have had to experience to get to now.

I think I stagnated between 2013 and 2015. School ended, I started my first nursing job, and then in May 2015, I moved to North Dakota. Somewhere in there, I did watch Doctor Who and went to the Doctor Who-themed bar in Portland (so cool!). My first comic con was in - 2014? 2015? I got to see Alan Tudyk, Stephen Amell (my sister liked him a lot), Karl Urban, and a few from the cast of Agents of Shield. What a time to be alive! Also looks like this was the first budding relationship with Powell's Bookstore in Portland (best bookstore on the planet!). I was steady in my love for Star Trek. I likely watched many different tv shows and movies for various actors (Heroes was up there; Almost Human), but Chris Pine, Benedict Cumberbatch, and Tom Hiddleston reigned in my mind.

Cue Christmas. 2015. This orange round droid called BB8 has been all over the merch. I think he is adorable. I believe I had tried to get into Star Wars before, but it never stuck. I grew up watching the original trilogy, but never made the connection on how amazing Star Wars was. (there was also a lot of heat for fans liking both Trek and Wars - which, even now, I still don't get it. They are both so very, very different! I say BOTH, DANG IT!).

So I go to the first possible screening of the Force Awakens I can get. Magic. Pure magic.

Then this - this youthful man takes off the mask. And I'm like "Okay, who the hell are you and when can we get married?" (this was 2015, I wasn't mature - yet).

Oh Adam Driver. He sparked my interest for a short time (I watched a few of his movies after seeing TFA), but for some reason it wasn't meant to be.

I flitted with Star Trek some more - and then we lost Anton Yelchin and my world seemed to topple. I don't know why his death hit me so hard, but I was a wreck when I went to see Beyond, I was a wreck watching any of his beloved films, and in December 2016 I got a second Star Trek tattoo in memory of Anton and a patient I had cared for before moving to Denver.

I found myself getting into Hannibal somewhere in that first year in Denver - 2017 (I also then watched all of Chris Pine's filmography, and... maybe Cumberbatch's? I'm not entirely sure when Hiddleston slipped from my focus. I know sometime after BBC Sherlock ended and Cumberbatch got married I also let him slip from my focus). I know I saw The Last Jedi in theaters, but was so bored that I couldn't connect with Star Wars (yet). (ironically, TLJ is now my favorite ST movie, hands down.)

Things kind of blur again. I cannot for the life of me remember how I got into MacGyver 2016 (of course I had seen the OG, I was there when my father bought the DVD sets, and I can recite the very first episode of the entire series from memory (oh Richard Dean Anderson)). Something, something, maybe it was a tumblr influence? I know I binge-watched S1 & S2 right as S3 started in 2018. I don't know if the connection was between George Eads or Lucas Till (CSI vs X-Men First Class) that likely enticed me - but, well, look at me now. 6+ years strong and I'm still addicted to MacGyver. and Lucas Till.

Leverage happened somewhere in there.

And, of course, the next biggest fandom that fell into my lap actually became - Star Wars & Adam Driver. December 2019. I see TROS. And I see TROS again. And again. And again. I think I saw it around 9 to 10 times in the theaters. (When the pandemic hit and there was a delay in getting the physical copy of the movie, I was so mad. It was the thing keeping me going in that first period of isolation. Oh, and all the Adam Driver movies I was binge-watching, lmao). Needless to say, in December 2019, I fell in love with Star Wars and Adam Driver and literally haven't looked back. Ever.

It's been pretty steady since then. MacGyver, Lucas Till, Star Trek, Chris Pine, Star Wars, Adam Driver.

Until this past week when I finally watched S1E1 of The Legend of Vox Machina. GUYS, I THINK I'M A D&D FAN NOW. I just binge-watched 36 episodes of a masterpiece, I went to Powell's and bought three fucking books, and I'm literally about to start Critical Role; this is exhilarating!! Absolute insanity. That one came out of nowhere (Amazon Prime Video showed a picture sometime in October, and I was like "okay, what is this? Hmmm. I'm interested" - VEX AND PERCY WILL BE THE DEATH OF MEEEEEE!!)

I also cannot forget to mention Lee Pace ended up enthralled in there somewhere (Pushing Daisies! The Fall!!!). And a childhood favorite for life, The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

Crazy this journey. I'm sure it won't end like this - it will continue to always evolve.

Much love <3

[rebeccalouisaferguson]

Hello. I have a question: Do we know McQ's reasons/motives behind DR1's (and possibly DR2's) grim story? I know he said he wanted an emotional impact on Ethan but is that ONLY achieved with (potential) tragedy of his friends dying and sacrificing for greater good? I think in general some questions still remain unanswered and it's hard for me to connect all dots.

I have to confess I didn't have time and frankly motivation to listen to all parts of Empire spoiler podcast that McQ did for this film. I wouldn't know if he said what motivated him particularly but from what I read (the sum up of the podcast that Empire posted and snippets on Twitter) that was it - he wanted to up the stakes because the missions are getting bigger and bigger and the stakes should be getting higher and higher.

McQ from the spoiler podcast: "We knew that that emotional arc [of Dead Reckoning] was of a certain emotional tone. And we knew that if the movie was going to go darker, something in the story had to diverge...What really needs to happen in the story is, the stakes have to be real. They can't be implied."

Here is the rundown:

But you know what, the fact that McQ has been talking about killing Ethan's friends for emotional impact in 2 movies now (was supposed to be Brandt at the begging of Fallout, Benji at some version for Fallout, Benji, Luther and Ilsa for DRPart 1) so it doesn't seem like any new idea to him, it's something he wanted to do for Fallout and finally did in DRPart 1 and I've got the feeling will do for DRPart 2.

There is a Part Two of course so it's hard to talk about motivations until we see the whole story on screen and just maybe what doesn't make sense now will after we see Part Two.

[trothplighted]

How would you imagine a Grindewald that doesn't pursue his oppressive plans? Where would he fit into the wizarding society? Still as a political figure that faces heat from all sides, a radical reformer pushing for exposing muggles to magic to improve wizards lifes? How would Albus fit into this if he would actually be with Gellert, would he face opposition from the ministry trying to get him off of Hogwarts, how would Albus friends now treat him and look at the relationship; newt/theseus etc seem to sympathise with Albus but their romance is 'safely' in the pass and Albus is "doing the right now" so to say...

I'm assuming you're asking about pursuing plans that subjugate Muggles as second-class citizens, if only because the rest of what he does isn't really that oppressive? At least, that's what I'm hoping, because that's what I want to talk about.

first things first, I think that reconciliation was possible after Ariana, but that both Albus and Gellert had a stick up their ass about it and didn't really feel like making nice. Albus is hearing from Aberforth that he failed and fucked up and he's an irresponsible idiot who put his dick ahead of what was good for the family (bold words from a man who got someone pregnant when he was fifteen, dude) and because he's self-hating about it he totally believes his brother. On the other side, Gellert is presumably upset about Ariana but justifiably believes that none of this would have happened if Aberforth hadn't started screaming at the pair of them that they couldn't take her away from him and they couldn't leave and how dare Albus do this, etc.

(another aside: the way Aberforth talks about this in Deathly Hallows is... creepy. there's not another word for it. it's creepy. Aberforth is someone else who JKR writes about in really loaded and frustratingly ableist terms, that's why I talk about him as a problematic figure, and unlike Albus and Gellert he hasn't really been retconned into a more positive guy, he's just creepy in completely different, equally cringe ways. also, Aberforth's simmering resentment in that same book really doesn't add up if you take what happened in FB canon into account, but this is if anything just more proof that we're well into what could be called JKR's The Peoples of Middle-Earth era)

so I think that they can reconcile, but I think it would probably have to be after Albus starts building a life for himself outside of his family. which brings us to something else - I think he taught at Hogwarts in the first place because of his sister and what happened to her. Consider that he's made significant impacts in the lives of two students from difficult backgrounds - Tom is a visibly troubled kid with serious problems who he takes under his wing and teaches and supports even though he's not Headmaster, and after he becomes Headmaster he goes out of his way to offer Remus safety even though Remus has what could be called outbursts that make him a danger to himself and other students. He never wants what happened to Ariana to happen to anyone else, he doesn't believe in turning someone away just because they'd be a challenge to help.

(one more aside: Obscuri as concepts are probably the thing Jo developed for the FB movies that do the most damage retroactively to series canon. Why wouldn't Harry have become an Obscurus when he was canonically punished for wandless magic? Why wouldn't Merope Gaunt have become one when her father and brother were physically and verbally abusive in the extreme and punished her both for not having enough magic and not exhibiting it in the right ways? What about Muggleborn kids from abusive homes or rough backgrounds? I think if she'd done more worldbuilding to establish what an Obscurial is and what an Obscurus is, this could have been avoided, but that even changes from film to film, with the most consistent lore in movie 1.)

but the point I'm trying to make is that if Albus is at Hogwarts, then it's a few decades later that Gellert decides to refocus. which means he's started his political movement, and he's begun gaining followers and loyalists. I could see them coming back together around the time that AWtFT is set, actually? if we're going by movie canon we genuinely don't know what it is he's done before this point except vague Bad Things that make the corrupt establishment look for him, and if we're going by book canon then it's completely wide open. but I think probably they'd come into contact, they'd talk it out, there would be apologies on both sides and then reconciliation. I really really want these two to be happy together. I want it very badly. I love them and I need them to be in a good place.

but realistically, I think it would have to be in a version of events where Gellert hadn't done anything actually and provably illegal - if he had committed serious crimes, he'd have to pay his debt to society with some kind of prison sentence, and Albus associating with him would be seriously detrimental to his reputation. They would want him out of his teaching job at Hogwarts (though whether or not that's successful would depend on how close Dippet was to the Ministry, because how much external influence the government has over the school is really never established firmly) and he'd be a bit of a pariah for fraternizing with a nascent Dark Lord.

but, if Gellert had only skirted close to breaking international law? they're good! the wizarding world is surprisingly libertarian when it's not an authoritarian state, and there's a shocking amount of bad shit one can get up to before it starts being the government's problem. all he has to do to stay with Albus forever is Never Commit Murder And Also Never Torture Anyone, which is surprisingly hard for him but is worth doing in the name of staying with your one true love forever, right?

so... who would he be, in this version of the story?

well, I think you're right - he'd still be a radical reformer, he wouldn't stop trying to bring down the system. but unlike canon, I think he'd get better at bridging the gap. like I've said before, the first Wizarding War is basically leftist infighting escalated to its logical conclusion - both Dumbledore and Grindelwald think society is bullshit, but one of them thinks Muggles are on the level of magical folk and one of them thinks Muggles need a bit of reverse-Uno-card imperialism to keep them in their place. if Grindelwald gave that up? shit, they'd basically be unstoppable. the underclasses of society vastly outnumber the upper classes, in both wizard and Muggle worlds, and a coalition of various groups (Muggle social justice activists and labor organizers, queer and landless and poor and otherwise disenfranchised wizards, magical creatures) would make short work of the establishment.

basically what I'm saying is that the take-over-the-world plan would have worked, and Gellert ruined it for himself by not aligning with Albus's idea of how things should be. sucks to be you, dude. better luck next time?

[pynkhues]

What do you think the dynamic between shiv and tom plus shiv and her family if she got pregnant? I kind of want to see it

Oh god, hahahaha, that's such a question, anon! I kind of feel like everything would change and nothing at all simultaneously?

There are so few kids on this show, it's kind of hard to gauge how any of them would respond to having more of them in their orbit. Kendall has Iverson and Sophie, of course, but they didn't even make an appearance beyond Sophie's birthday party in s2 while Kendall was spiralling, and in s1 the only time the broader family ever seemed to really think about them was when Logan was judging Kendall's 'soft' fathering and Roman was, y'know, getting a kick out of that in that way Roman does, haha. They certainly didn't seem to factor into Logan's decisions when leaking stories about Kendall's relapse (before it had actually happened - the self-fulfilling prophecy is, as always, devastating), although we know it had an impact on Sophie through Rava's phonecall and likely impacted Kendall's already fairly limited custody.

For Shiv and Tom, it probably would be different given Shiv's a woman and has already been sort of struck from the succession plan after s2. I think her brothers would probably all see it as something that only further took her out of the running altogether, where as oddly enough, I don't think it would necessarily for Logan? Like I said above, I don't think grandkids factor much into Logan's decisionmaking, and I think he's already sort of pigeonholed the parenting as Tom's role not Shiv's, haha, I mean, god, he already effectively told him to get back in the house and make him some in a way we don't usually hear aimed at men.

For them together though - - I kinda feel like that dynamic would be extended? I don't think Shiv would be a natural mother at all (like, god, what example does she have in Caroline?) and I think the narcissistic part of her wouldn't enjoy sharing Tom's attention, especially since I think Tom would be a nurturing (albeit annoying and weird, haha) father. I can see Shiv working until late in her pregnancy and then being desperate to get back to work pretty quickly after she has the baby, but growing resentful and jealous if Tom and their child grow close.

Mess! Basically!!!

Also putting the competition aside, I do lowkey think both Connor and Roman would be kind of doting in very, very different ways, haha. I feel like Roman would be insulting and a dick about both the pregnancy and the baby, but weirdly and obnoxiously good in certain ways too, and you know Connor would be sending Shiv and Tom anti-vax conspiracy theories the second she said she was pregnant and sending her like - - ¬crystals that are supposed to cure morning sickness.

Kendall would, of course, be the absolute worst by being the holder of Expert Opinions that Shiv doesn't want and Tom would latch on to use for Bonding Opportunities, and to like, separate him and Greg. Dads only club!!

Logan would probably forget she was pregnant at all, and Shiv would be absurdly relieved for it, hahaha.

[storiesoftaylor]

8. Paper Rings

Written by: Taylor Swift & Jack Antonoff Produced By: Jack Antonoff & Taylor Swift Length: 3:42

~ listen along <3 ~

[Verse One] The moon is high Like your friends were the night that we first met Went home and tried to stalk you on the internet Here's where it can be kind of "iffy". So the night that she met him his friends were high and she went home and tried to stalk him. His friends wouldn't have been with him and high at the Met Gala, I wouldn't think... So I think they must have met a little before, and I did a little research to back up this theory. I checked the "google trends" from April 2016 through to September of 2016, California searches for "Joe Alwyn" and there are 2! There is a search on April 15, and May 3. We know that Taylor bleached her hair on the 15th of April, so it fits that he met her with her hair bleached like she sings in Dress, "flash back when you met me, your buss cut and my hair bleached". And the Met Gala in 2016 was on May 2. So she searched for him the night she first met him, and again after she saw him at the Met Gala. I gotta say, that invisible string was working in overdrive in the Spring of 2016. People also think that the night in April when they first met it was at a bar/restaurant called The Bowery in downtown Los Angeles on... get this... SUNSET AND VINE! Like "sunset and vine, you've ruined my life, by not being mine" from Gorgeous.

Now I've read all the books beside your bed The wine is cold Like the shoulder that I gave you in the street Cat and mouse for a month or two or three If they were playing "cat and mouse" for about 3 months, and we know their anniversary is in September, then they started talking a little in June... June of '16 was a pretty impactful month for Taylor from what we know from the tabloids. She was with Calvin, they broke up in the end of May or beginning of June. Then she was with Tom in the middle of June through to late August, early September. When she was with Tom on July 8th they flew to Australia together and a fan saw Taylor playing Scrabble with someone on her phone, it's a known fact that Taylor and Joe love playing scrabble together, (x) it's even in the Lover music video.

Something that is also notable is that Gigi Hadid did a campaign for Vogue with Joe Alwyn in June of '16.

Now I wake up in the night and watch you breathe

[Pre-Chorus] (ayy) Kiss me once, 'cause you know I had a long night (oh) Kiss me twice, 'cause it's gonna be alright (uh) Three times, 'cause I've waited my whole life (1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4)

[Chorus] I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings Uh huh, that's right Darling, you're the one I want, and I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this uh huh, that's right You're the one I want In paper rings, in picture frames, and dirty dreams Oh, you're the one I want This part of the song is so sweet because she is saying when it comes to paper rings, she wants him to give it to her. When it comes to picture frames, she wants him in the photo. When it comes to dirty dreams, she just wants him.

[Verse 2] In the Winter, in the icy outdoor pool When you in jumped first, I went in too Joe's family has this tradition where they go to a park at Hampstead Heath and they jump in this pond on Christmas Day. It's freezing cold, but when Taylor was invited to come along, she jumped in too. Here's a YouTube link of Joe talking about this tradition (x) And here's a link to what the ponds look like on Google Maps (x) I'm with you, even if it makes me blue Which takes me back To the color that we painted your brother's wall Taylor quite literally painted Joe's brother's room blue. There's a couple of photos of this happening.

Honey, without all the exes, fights, and flaws We wouldn't be standing here so tall, so I love this line because she's saying without the chaos of their past, they wouldn't appreciate what they have so much.

[Pre-Chorus] (ayy) Kiss me once, 'cause you know I had a long night (oh) Kiss me twice, 'cause it's gonna be alright (uh) Three times, 'cause you've waited your whole life (1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4) I love how she changes it from "my whole life" like it was in the first verse to your "your whole life".

[Chorus] I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings Uh huh, that's right Darling, you're the one I want, and I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this uh huh, that's right You're the one I want In paper rings, in picture frames, and dirty dreams Oh, you're the one I want

[Bridge] I want to drive away with you I want your complications, too I want your dreary Mondays Wrap your arms around me baby boy I want to drive away with you I want your complications, too I want your dreary Mondays Wrap your arms around me baby boy uh huh I love this part because she wants the bad and the good and everything in between with him. Give me the dreary Mondays and the complications as long as I have you.

[Chorus] I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings ah-ah that's right, you're the one I want I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this ah-ah darling, you're the one I want I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings uh huh, that's right Darling, you're the one I want, and I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this uh huh, that's right Darling, you're the one I want In paper rings, in picture frames, in all my dreams you're the one I want In paper rings, in picture frames, in all my dreams oh, you're the one I want

[Outro] You're the one I want, one I want You're the one I want, one I want

SUCH A TOP TIER FUCKING SONG!

[eldianslegacy]

" If I had inherited the Beast Titan instead of the Armored, I wouldn't choose a monkey. I'd go for something with more speed and bite. Like a cat, or a dog. I know! A wolf!" (Reiner to Zeke)

𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗡 , 𝗟𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧 𝗦𝗠𝗢𝗞𝗘 𝗘𝗦𝗖𝗔𝗣𝗘𝗗 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗪𝗔𝗥 𝗖𝗛𝗜𝗘𝗙'𝗦 𝗟𝗜𝗣𝗦 , at the same time a barely audible but lighthearted chuckle could be heard coming from him . Oh , how many times he had heard this before , why a monkey ? Why not a feline , or any other big powerful animal ? People would ask , and the reply the blond would always give was ; 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘯𝘰𝘵 ? After all , he got the job done most of the time with his titan so there was no room to complain about his choice .

He didn't exactly have a real , rational reason behind his choice . His mind would go a few decades back , when he was but an innocent child . When the sole thing bringing comfort to him was a little stuffed animal gifted by his grandparents , but it wasn't just any animal , it was a 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚔𝚎𝚢 . He couldn't quite explain it to others , hence why he usually kept all of this to himself . After all , there was an unknown story behind all of the appearances the Best Titan had taken through the ages . Not that the Marleyan army even cared about that , for what they were after were good , devoted and efficient warriors and titan shifters .

As he remained silent , his mind took him back to his teenage years , when he would play catch with his mentor and previous holder of the Beast Titan ; Tom Ksaver . If it weren't for him , he wouldn't be where he was today . A lot had happened but despite everything the man had been nothing but kind and benevolent towards Zeke , ever since the day they had met . Playing catch and conversing with him had greatly impacted his personality and his way of thinking .

Zeke leaned forward , elbows resting on the balcony's metal railing as steel grey oculars gazed at the street below them through round lenses , two fingers of his right hand carefully holding onto his cigarette . Without averting his gaze , the man gave a slight shrug before words finally came from him .

" I doubt I would have been as efficient in battle as I currently am . Plus , I'd rather have the Cart Titan be the sole quadrupedal titan . "

[judgement-free-sideblog]

Blood, tears and sea breeze.

Warnings: ANGST, mental health issues, graphic depictions of violence, blood, cursing, mentions of sexual assault, mentions of sex, substance abuse.

Summary: The not so peaceful town of Broadchurch face dead again, while Alec Hardy continues his journey to redemption will this school teacher be the key to solve the mystery or just another victim of the ever watching evilness that seems to reside in the town.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 8: I knew

The morning of the third day since Jonathan Norbury's body had been found had started roughly for DS Miller, she hadn't have the chance to talk to Brian, neither as the SOCO nor her boyfriend, since the work in the cottage had turn into an all night venture, and with the time pressure on them finding any evidence was the most important thing at the moment, even more than date night with her and Freddie

And on the other hand she was grateful he didn't showed up, because that would imply she had to respond to his proposal to move together, and she would say yes, of course since Tom and Freddie like him and she was actually having strong feelings for him, and then she would have to tell it to Alec, and she couldn't do that to him, no yet at least.

They haven't been together that long and yet she could remember every afternoon working late in his house, with Daze pretending to not knowing anything but still making a nice dinner for the two of them, their silent walks on the beach where their silences said more than any loud scream.

But that was the problem with them, even when she hate to remember Joe, at least they fight there was more to their relationship than the silent understanding of loving each other, the biggest proof was that when she asked him to stop he simply said yes, and they move on, and they just resume their neverending friendship just like that.

That's why she couldn't move on with Brian, because that would hurt him and made him more emotionally reclusive, she just hope that Brian would be patient enough to wait for her.

A knock on the door make her stand up in a jump, she took her coffee mug and kiss Freddie and a reluctant Tom goodbye and wave at his father, before meeting his friend at the door.

"Morning" She said with a smile that was received with a dead stare like every time. "You look well rested" she joke and he only rolled his eyes at her before taking the coffee mug from her hands and taking a sip.

"The victims mother is at the station, apparently she saw the news and came all the way from London to claim his son's body" Alec said once he was inside the car.

"Yeah, well she is probably going to be difficult to deal with, Paul says they are wealthy people who own a major franchise of electronics shops" Miller said putting on the seat belt and starting the car.

Clementine Norbury was already waiting for them in the office, she was dressed in a tailored black pantsuit, and had short blond hair just like Jonathan, and the sad look of a broken heart in her blue eyes.

"Mrs. Norbury I assume?" Miller Said entering the office.

"Clementine is fine" She said extending her hand to her and then Hardy.

"I'm sorry for your loss madame, your husband call this morning announcing that you would come and asking about the case, and I'm sorry but we can't discuss anything about the case with you" Alec said trying to be polite.

"That won't be necessary detective, Hardy was it? I'm here on behalf of my son more than my husband" She said calmly.

"Excuse me?" Miller said confused since she was ready to have to calm down a posh entitled lady and this was completely different.

"I knew" She started and she took out her cellphone from her purse and put it on the desk "I knew my son was being unfaithful to Y/N, and I'm concerned that person could be responsible for what happened to him"

"Did you know this person? Clementine?" Alec ask coming out from behin the desk and sitting next to her.

"No, my husband and I, we were not thrill when he start dating a woman from Broadchurch, no offense" She said and Miller fight the urge to roll her eyes at her "But then we met Y/N and the positive impact she had on him, and I truly believed he was finally on the right path" Her voice crack for a moment.

"The right path? Instead of what exactly?" Hardy asked.

"He was a rich and handsome young man in London, what would you expect?" She said and Ellie knew her first instinct had been right "My husband send him here as punishment but a mere year later he was a changed man all because of her friendship"

Ellie walked out for a moment to make tea for the woman, remembering how Y/N had said she was only marrying him in London to make Clementine happy.

"And you didn't like Miss Y/L/N?" Alec ask the woman, remembering something he had read in Y/N's diary.

"She is a lovely woman, but if I'm honest I don't understand why my son was with her, but he was and in the end I just want him to come back home, and if that little town teacher would make it happen I was not opposing to their wedding" She said honestly, something Hardy respected but she was still an awful person.

"Mrs. Norbury when was the last time you saw your son?" He asked after a pause. "From the train station surveillance tape we know he never take the train last Tuesday, weren't you suspicious that he didn't showed up at home?" He said and start looking trough the folders on his desk.

"We are not going to look good on your provincial fearful of God eyes detective, I know" She started "But no, I was not worried because we knew he had been seeing another woman for the last six months and she had convinced him to finish his relationship with the teacher is simple, that's how life works, he ask us to cancel the venue like a month ago, and I was under the impression he would break up with her"

"But he didn't, did he change his mind again?" He finally found the picture he was looking for and look at it waiting for her to respond.

"He called me Monday morning, he said he regretted cheating on her and that the wedding was still on, and that this woman, whoever she was might take things badly, but that he was sure it was over"

"You didn't know? Not even her name? I mean she must have been important since she convince him to call off the wedding" He asked and make a sign to Miller to don't interrupt them since she was coming in with the cup of tea.

"She was a fling, I never thought he will cancel the wedding to marry the other woman, she only remind him he was not made to be a husband, and he wanted to be free, he always said she was not important, so I didn't ask"

"Clementine, do you recognize this?" He said showing her the picture of the crushed ring and the engagement picture they took from Y/N's cottage "Is this the same ring as this one?"

"Where did you find that? Jonathan said some stole it when that girl had one of his attacks two weeks ago, is my wedding ring" She said visibly shocked.

"It must have been hard to listen it was lost, were you mad at your son Clementine?" Hardy said pointing at his face.

"Of course I was mad, but not with him, I call her and I might have told her that well that she was not the woman for Jonathan... but at the time I thought they will be breaking up"

"And what happened next? Why didn't they break up?" He asked now looking straight in her eyes.

"I don't know, after that night he was acting weird. He got mad at me for calling her, he started to second guess his choice, he felt guilty about something, at the time I thought he felt guilty for cheating but now I don't know" She said now fully crying.

"Thanks Mrs. Norbury, that will be all, we will be in touch if something new comes out" Hardy said and Miller gave her the tea, she took two sips and composed herself before she could speak again.

"My son was not always a good man detective, but he didn't deserve to be killed, please find who did this" She stood up and walk away.

"Did you knew?" Ellie asked once she was away "Thay they have fight about the ring?"

"It was a hunch" He lied, remembering his promise to Dr. Florence about the diaries. "But it seems that something else happened that nigh"

"I know, otherwise he wouldn't have send the girl to her psychiatrist right after, do you think the side woman might be guilty?" She said taking the picture with the crushed ring.

"Maybe, first we need to found out who that was" He said and then he add more to himself "Why do they always have to be cheating?"

"Well I assume not all men in Broadchurch think like you" She said with a sad smile.

"This one is freaky!!" Brian said entering the room with unannounced and showing them a folder.

"What do you mean?" Hardy said a little surprised by the term he used to describe a murderer

"The blood remember?" He said showing him a picture of the living room after they remove the body. "I believe that was too much blood for a guy that was strangled, and it was"

"Brian, please go to the point before Hardy's head explodes" Ellie said looking at her friend loosing his patience.

"Al right, the blood on the floor had been frozen, it was the victim's blood but who ever did this collect about two pints of his blood and save it to set the crime scene"

"That's..." Alec was trying to find a word to describe the new information.

"Told you, freaky" Brian explained that the prints coming from the beach were in fact Norbury's but nothing much coming from the Cottage. "His house is something else, those guys were into weird stuff" He said and showed them the other folder and, the provocative underwear and sex toys that they recovered from the laundry basket in the victim's bathroom that Miller had overlooked.

Hardy felt uncomfortable looking at those pictures, not sure why, and he suddenly remembered.

"I need you to check those for DNA" He said. And both of them look disconcerted at him. "They might belong to the other woman" He add and Miller immediately understand.

"Other woman, what do you mean, you think these are not his fiance's?" Brian asked confused.

"We have evidence that he was cheating on her, and this woman might know something about his murder" Ellie explained.

"Well in that case, he might had it coming, he was already engaged, this lad must had been crazy to cheat on her" He said and Ellie smile thinking that maybe not all Broadchurch men were idiots.

Brian left with Miller to have lunch and Hardy hurried to lock the door and take out Y/N's diary, he scan the pages until he found what he was looking for.

Monday, April 15, 2019

11:00 pm. I feel like a child telling you this, but after dinner I tried to... oh my god this is stupid. I tried to have sex with Jonathan and once again he rejected me, is not like is super important but it has been like two months now, you are right doc, after he comes back we will have counseling together

He was disgusted to know that Norbury had been cheating on Y/N, so shamelessly on his house, but this might lead them to find whoever killed him. And he was starting to feel wrong about not telling Miller the truth about the diaries, then his thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door and he put the papers away quickly before opening the door.

"I'm sorry to interrupt Sir, but we found the victims car on an abandoned parking lot, with his suitcase in it" Harford said with excitement.

"Ok, let's go check it out" Alec took his jacket. "You can drive" He add to Katie disbelief.

"You want me to go? Shouldn't I call detective Miller?" She said unsure about what was happening.

"If you don't want to go, sure call her" Hardy said stopping for a moment.

"No, I want to go, sure let's go" She said and walked next to him to the cold morning.

.

Tag list:

@allonsymexgirl @laciesaito @tf18unipups

[emma-what-son]

I think it lasted longer than that. - Yeah I think so too. They might not have had anything serious or exclusive but there seemed to an attraction there for a while. You could see the better chemistry (compared to other costars) onscreen and offscreen they had that too - always holding hands, touching and being affectionate, up until the final movie premiere. I'm not saying friends can't have that but they obviously had a history and the fondness lingered. Not surprising, considering, as one of the asks said they were all a bunch of young good looking movie stars who were also teens at the mercy of their hormones and I'm sure every pair of individuals also went through some kind of tough/memorable experiences together while being thrown into the mega cutthroat world of fame so young so they would be attached even if not close anymore. For these 3 reasons I believe this about Dan and Emma. Back in the day during HP, they also acknowledged as such about the last point and talked many times about the many moments though it was all platonic stuff so even as people they impacted each other. Now coming to the drifting apart bit - I also feel they did but not during the HP films rather a couple of years after. Post HP interviews of Dan mentioned he was texting her all the time and there were other mentions of her by him which if you compare to now are conspicuous. But after 2014 he suddenly stopped mentioning her at all although he still brought up Tom/others. Although it could be natural drifting apart but considering they were 2 of the closest while shooting HP (don't mean romantically), it was just odd. This coupled with rumours of them having a fallout so they didn't meet at TIFF when they were together a couple of times through the years also some accounts about the reunion (not very prominent but if you know the right places in the fandom lol! I did as a former big fan of the franchise). I don't know that I believe them all but yes there have been telling signs like a bunch of times he was asked about her during the time I mentioned (2014) there was something about his body language which you can tell something was off. I've been a fan of him (as a person/his personality in interviews) so based on what I know about how he usually is, me and others I know have noticed the same things coincidentally, but ofc as always we don't know what really happened only those 2 do so maybe it's not like what we think. No way to be certain but you can find one of the clips on YT if anyone's curious - during FWord he was asked about her (a bit of stupid shipping by the interviewer but still the way he chose to answer) and there a bunch of people have commented how he looks wistful or sad. I wouldn't be surprised as I dare say both do have a fiesty personality so could have clashed and fallen out or something more.?

I think they had a thing during HP and it ended before filming the last 3 movies. After that they just stayed friends and lost touch after a while.

[leoninapelliolovesconchitawurst]

ENGLISH TRANSLATION (Scott Rand)

LT1 Startalk Interview at the Bristol Hotel 25/01/20

with Petra Stumpf

https://www.lt1.at/sendungen/stars_society/ich-bin-ein-sehr-sexueller-mensch/

https://youtu.be/FAw2HtQQhx0

That was back then, Tom Neuwirth alias Conchita Wurst, a diva who won the Eurovision Song Contest for Austria in 2014.

And this is nowadays. Wurst, fetish look and electro pop. With his third album Tom has freed himself. We meet the Upper Austrian in his adoptive home Vienna at the hotel bar in the Bristol next to the Opera. What hasn't changed is that the star is punctual to the minute.

Petra Stumpf: Welcome to LT1 startalk, my guest today - how do I address you Conchita, Tom or Wurst, which do you prefer?

Tom: It's up to you, I use to say at the end of the day it's always Wurst (it's all the same to me). With a certain look I feel more like a woman, whatever that means and in certain looks I am more masculine, whatever that means and at the end of the day I don't care. One cannot generalise, of course for many people their identity is important and how they see themselves. I realize more and more that gender should be completely irrelevant in a society.

P: I was very curious in which look you would turn up today, blond, bald, long hair, short hair, at the moment everything is possible when it comes to you. Does it depend on your current mood or is it calculative if you turn up as a male or female?

T: There are concerts and events where I know I want to wear an evening gown and release my inner Mariah Carey, on other days I have no concept at all and put up what I fancy at the moment. Some things need a certain preparation, when I want to bleach my hair, I can't decide it on the spot and two hours later I'm blond and the story about the bald head was, that I wanted to express - I did't want to express anything with the bald head per se - but I had joined the Opera Ball to advertise the EU elections and when I shaved my head, I hadn't even known yet that I would go to the Opera Ball. In retrospect it had been destiny and was supposed to happen exactly like that and to answer the question, I seldom reflect, sometimes I fancy something but if something else comes up that is more in line, then I change my mind.

P: Your impact on me is that you feel very liberated since this transformation, is that true?

T: I started to reconsider rules I don't even know who made them and to discard them and find out what makes me happy instead of saying: I have to be the president's wife, that's what people expect and what sells, I'm also in the priviliged situation to say, I don't care, I do what I want and feel but during the process I develop and reconsider so many things and I don't know if everyone thinks it's funny, but I always say it's essential to learn how to read and write. It's important for communication, but how needs spelling?

P: Seriously?

T: If I understand what you want to tell me, for example if you write an essay in German full of blooming imagination and there are twists in the story and it's interesting to read, and then you have 5 spelling errors and fail to pass the exam.

P: I agree about that, but it repels me if someone writes to me on Whatsapp and there are 1000 spelling errors. That's awful.

T: It doesn't matter to me, as long as I understand what you mean.

P: Since you say it is Wurst to you, you recorded your new album as Wurst, finest electro pop, it is autobiographic and was a kind of therapy for you, is that true?

T: Yes, the lyrics and music were written by Eva Klampfer, Lylit, an Upper Austrian and it was produced by Albin Janoska, who is the electro guru in this country. In this triad we made this great album. Eva spent many hours with me and learned a lot about me and I often repeat it, I'm not sure if she wanted to know all of it. But when one doesn't write the lyrics oneself, one can only achieve an authentic piece of music when I'm candid and all of these titles are of course metaphors of all the things I experienced and I know what each song is about and considered if I should explain it or write it into the booklet but then I thought, it's nobody's business and I want to keep it to myself and don't want to impose to the audience what to interpret into those songs. I love to make music videos, I can't write songs, but I hear music and see pictures and I can convert that, that's my essential part and I love to do it but with it I already open a world that indicates a certain direction and emotions, but it's too much fun to miss out on it.

P: I have to show the booklet and for example this picture, videos and booklet are very revealing, very erotic with fetish outfits, did it take you a lot of effort, because your parents and your granny see it too.

T: I'm a very sensual person and I'm not shy with my family, they know me so well, they have known me when I still wet my pants. I don't have to pretend what I am and sometimes I think it will not be her favourite topic for my granny in her crochet round but I am what I am and that's the result of their upbringing. My parents have no reason for complaining about my liberalness or that I live my life in the public, I am the person I am because they raised me that way.

P: Did your parents teach you the facts of life or was it your grandmother, sometimes the grandparents do that.

T: Funny that you address this topic. No, it was my aunt, she's awesome and during Christmas one discusses everything. My aunt is responsible or was a good deal involved in my fashion aesthetics. Listen, my aunt took me to the first musical I have ever seen, Rocky Horror Picture Show, imagine I was about - when is one admitted into such a show, I think 12, and I remember my aunt asked me: "Do you know what a virgin is?" and I replied: "My Mum was born in August, so she's a Virgo." and then there was a talk with my mother if she was allowed to explain it to me and she did and then I came into this show as a 12 year old gay boy and was amazed. What, one can do this, this is allowed? And everyone thinks it's awesome, she revealed a whole new world to me and I still remember what she wore, a transparent Woolford body that only covered the breasts in the shape of a lava lamp and Yoko Ono flares with slits at the sides that where overlapping, so when she walked her bare legs were displayed. My aunt is a fashion icon and that's where my liberty comes from, I think nobody was surprised.

P: You don't often come to Upper Austria, where your family is, but on 12th March you will come to the Posthof in Linz because you are on tour with the new songs. This home game in Linz is something special for you?

T: I'm totally looking forward to it. Linz is always special for me. I have a tour, there will be some concerts in Germany, I'll be in Poland and will also be in Austria and Linz is magic, I can't describe it, it's also the audience that likes to experience music and there are people who are not my fans per se, but who are interested in new music. That's so cool, I'm not always that open-minded, I think rock is not my cup of tea, but okay I'm going to listen to it. People in Linz are totally relaxed and I'm looking forward. And it will be different with my live band and it will be awesome.

P: You are a fantastic live performer, I've often seen you and take my hat off to you. Back then in Linz, international fans had come completely dressed in Conchita outfit. How do they deal with the transformation, do they go along with it and come now with short hair?

T: It's exciting you mention this, I love my fans and they are crazy in an affectionate way and travel from everywhere around the world and then sit there and listen to this concert for the 14th time and are still enthusiastic and have fun to ponder, ah there he didn't know the lyrics, he has forgotten them again and that's so cool, because it's simply the truth. Without those fans who come regularly, I wouldn't exist and without them I wouldn't be able to shine in certain situations, because sometimes you come to an event and notice, ah maybe they don't find me that awesome but there are always people present I can rely on and who say I don't care what happens behind my back, I'm here because of you and I celebrate you so much and then it spreads. It's exciting how such a relationship we have after all develops, particularly because of the different look and music and there are many who sighingly say, I want to hear the ballads and I understand that, I also love the ballads, but there's a time for everything.

P:  Variety is that extra something.

T: Absolutely. It's a challenge for me and a whole different vocal field, suddenly it's about voice colours and textures and not how long can I scream this note, and I can hold it for a long time.

P: Will you play none of your ballads on this tour?

T: Not at the moment. I have the occasional concerts with an orchestra, the next ones will be in Sydney and I'm thrilled to go back to Australia after many years, the current situation there is everything else but delightful but I'm very content not to let this orchestra programme die either, because it's so much fun. Also From Vienna With Love I recorded with the symphonic orchestra is a gift for me and then retrieve it a year later and say: I still can do it! That's cool, you know.

P: We are in Vienna today and not in Upper Austria, as you hardly come to us anymore.

T: Don't emphasize it that much, it's like that at the moment, I will come back.

P: On 12th March at the latest he'll be there at the concert. But we are now at the hotel Bristol in Vienna and you also have a special connection to this place.

T: I have a deep attachment to this hotel, one of my all-time favourite photos was taken by Mrs Ziegelböck, who also comes from Upper Austria. There was a fashion photo shoot for Rondo and we are often here and everytime I give interviews we get support from the staff and they provide us with these awesome suites and catering and we are pleased to see each other, there's appreciation and it's such a traditional building, rich in history and I was allowed to work abroad, but when I come back home, I love Austria, I love Vienna so much, in my opinion it's the coolest city in the world.

P: It was ranked the most livably city too. And the most unfriendly one.

T: If you allow to be insulted, I'm above that.

P: I continue with the word rap.

Question: Do you prefer to be man or woman?

T: We already discussed, I don't care.

Question: I can imagine having children one day.

T: That's tough. I've considered how I would raise a child, what values I would convey and what it would mean. But I'm not ready to have children, because I'm so egocentric and have some interhuman deficits. You wanted a short reply. I have no idea.

Question: I like to sleep...

T: For a long period of time and you want something provocative. I sleep in the nude.

Question: What are you not able to do?

T: I'm bad at waiting and I sometimes get bitchy. My friends who work with me know me well enough to know that when I start giving curt replies.

Question: Your favourite place?

T: My apartment, my nest. After a period of travelling a lot, one's own bed is priceless.

Question: I learned most things from...

T: All people I meet. I recognise afterwards when one sits together during the holidays, I have it from you that I always run around half naked.

Question: The inscription on my tombstone should read.

T: I hope I won't have a tombstone. I'll be cremated.

P: But there has also to be a place for the urn. Maybe in someone's cupboard at home.

T: If I want to annoy them I'll write into my will: You have to place me beside your television. I want it to be stagy, get cremated and scatter the ash around.

P: Then one cannot visit you anymore.

T: You don't have to. That's overrated, everyone shall carry me inside their hearts.

P: No grave of honour in Vienna?

T: The dress from the Eurovision inside a showcase is sufficient.

P: Thank you, it was very funny.

T: What a great interview.