#it would make sense for someone as good and caring as him to feel the need to protect a sort-of-friend; right? nothing bad; really.

[wemalyri]

could you do enhypen reaction to ur self harm ?? I loved ur last post

pairing: hyungline!enhypen × gn!reader genre: angst, hurt/comfort warnings: feeling guilty, obv self-harm, brief description of negative feelings and thoughts + personal tw for each member w/c: 640+ a/n: thank you for your request!! sorry that it took me SO long(( (it's been in my drafts since august just so yk :/)e also I did only hyung line I hope you don't mind. I tried to mention and describe different reasons and situations. some members include sad endings and feeling of hopelessness. I know that if you're deep down in this even words of your loved ones might not help. if you have this problem pls remember that you're not alone( take care of yourself properly! also sunghoon one is kinds crazy, sorry for that !!! likes and reposts are welcomed !!!

Heeseung

tw: comparison to others, jealousy, toxic perfectionism

You hadn’t seen each other for a few months. The reason of it was Heeseung’s job. No matter how much he wanted to, he couldn’t stay with you all of the time. Three months of tour felt like eternity. However, it was finally over and now you could see each other again. Heeseung promised you to come over as soon as possible but you didn’t expect him to do it so fast. Forgetting yourself, you ran to the front door and opened it with a bright smile. Heeseung immediately hugged you, holding you tight. His hand held your head, burying your face in his chest. “Gosh I missed you so much…” He inhaled your scent with a loud sound. “You smell like home.”

You playfully giggled and pecked his lips, looking at him. He pulled away to explore your appearance with a smile, but it immediately faded as his gaze fixed on your thighs. “Y/n…” He whispered with fear, not believing his own eyes. 

Upper side of your legs were covered in scars, recent ones. You absolutely forgot to cover them, too excited to meet your boyfriend. 

Yes, Heeseung was perfect for you but that only made your self-esteem worse. You always thought he was too good for you, you never were on the same level. Heeseung wasn’t just an idol, he was a goddamn ‘ace’. Perfect at everything, you never noticed his bad habits, selfish thoughts or actions. He was like an angel fallen from heaven, someone who would never match you. This is what you thought. And when he left on tour you knew he wouldn’t be able to control or see new scars if you left them. Every time you got jealous, you would blame yourself for this feeling, making your mental statement even worse. Negative feelings were too much to handle but you were too embarrassed and ashamed to share them with Heeseung, knowing pretty well that even his sweetest words wouldn’t help you. This is how you found a way to express everything you felt, punishing yourself for not being flawless.

Your eyes looked down, searching for a reason of Heeseung’s worried expression. When you saw your scars, you felt ashamed and guilty. 

“It’s nothing.” you answered, trying to sound casual.

“It doesn’t look like nothing.” Heeseung’s tone of voice was serious. It felt like you had never seen him with such an expression. His eyes met yours and you could see a deep worry and hurt in them. “Why have you done that?..”

You felt guilty. You didn’t want to hurt him with your words but you didn’t want to lie to him at the same time. “I…didn’t feel well.” The reason you named sounded so stupid that a sense of shame washed over you.

Heeseung’s expression didn’t change. It seemed like your words didn’t convince him at all. “You could call me… text me… anything but not that.” 

“I didn’t want to bother you. You have a busy schedule, I don’t want to wear you out even more.” 

“Y/n… It wouldn’t hurt me as much as this.” You went silent for a second, biting your lip.

“I didn’t want to complain to you, okay?” It felt like you didn’t understand each other at all.

“Baby, that’s not complaining when you tell me about your feelings. That’s normal. I’m your boyfriend, you don’t trust me enough to share your thoughts?” You didn’t say anything as tears welled up in your eyes. Heeseung immediately stepped closer, pulling you to him. Your hands wrapped around his waist, holding onto him as the last hope. He pecked your head, whispering. “Tell me when you don’t feel well next time, okay?” You slightly nodded, thinking that maybe it will help you to go through this. At least, you decided to give it a try.

Jay

tw: ED, fatshaming (reader to themselves)

Jay is the best cook you've ever known and everyone always says that they're jealous of your luck. Your boyfriend cooks for you everyday, he never fails to make sure you're eating well even when he's tired. However, for you personally this obsession with good meals never was for the best. Your relationship with your body never was the simplest one and even though Jay and you dated for a while, you managed to hide it from him. However, at the last time something went wrong and your boyfriend started noticing what attitude you actually had to food.

One day you were having a meal at your apartment and of course Jay cooked. Again. Sitting next to your boyfriend, you were picking at food. 

“Is something wrong? You don't like it?” Jay asked, looking at you through his eyelashes with concern. 

“No, everything's fine. Just not hungry.” You managed to say, trying to sound casual. Jay's eyebrows frowned and he pulled chopsticks away. 

“Are you sure? You haven't been eating well lately.” This question suddenly made you annoyed. You didn't want someone to talk about your eating problems, so you tried to change the topic. 

“Just not hungry.” The same words left your mouth and it made Jay confused even more. Something definitely was wrong and he just couldn't understand what exactly. 

“Y/n, I know something is wrong. Don't try to hide it from me.” Jay's tone was serious and it only irritated you even more. 

“I said I was fine!” You striked the table, that made your sleeves of shirt roll up and show off your scars. Jay looked at your wrists and his sight immediately catched those parts of skin you were hiding from him. Fresh scars were relieved for his eyes, blooming on your hands. 

“Y/n, your hands…” Jay spoke quietly in disbelief. Your eyes immediately widened in realization. He saw them.

You rolled down your sleeves, hiding marks of the hatred to your body, eyes looking down.

“How long ago did you make it?” Jay asked seriously, clenching his fists. He didn't hear an answer from you. “Why?..” For a minute that you were staying silent, a lot of different thoughts ran through his head. Weren’t you happy with him? Was he a bad boyfriend? Why did you hide it?

“Jay, it's not your fault.” His flaw of thoughts was ruined by your quiet voice. “It's just… me.”

He absolutely didn't understand. His eyes looked into yours with desire for more explanation. He was begging you to talk about it. 

“I-I don't like myself. My body. And I feel even worse every time you try to feed me. I'm fat. I can't let myself eat that much.”

Of course, he was so stupid all of this time. You had always been eating purely. Once he even noticed you judgingly looking at yourself in the mirror. And he did nothing.

“Gosh, I'm so stupid…” Jay hid his face in his hands, rubbing the forehead, trying not to bunch his head under the table. 

“No, you're not. I never talked about it. You were just being a good caring boyfriend.” You saw how awful he felt and it made you feel guilty. 

He quickly stood up from his place and you could see his watered eyes, when he slipped his hands away from his face. He approached you, gently pulling your wrist to the side to examine you. “Did you hurt yourself anywhere else? Are there any more scars?” 

“No, Jay.” You settled him down with your voice but he didn’t seem to believe you. “Really. That’s all.”

Jay slightly sighed, closing his eyes. “Listen, I’m sorry.” You stood up and placed your hand on his shoulder, feeling even more guilty. 

“You shouldn’t apologize to me. You should apologize to yourself.” Jay looked mad but this expression on his face was actually hiding his concern. He looked at you and was met with your sad puppy eyes that made him want to hug you. His hands pulled you to him and he pressed his lips to your head. 

“I know…” You mumbled into his chest. “I just can't. I don't want to.”

“Baby… do you hate yourself that much?” Jay asked looking into your eyes when he lifted your chin up. Your eyes watered, giving him a clear answer. “I'm sorry…” He whispered. “I'll make sure you'll love yourself.”

You slightly shook your head in resistance but didn't say anything, ran out of energy. Jay patted your head, kissing your forehead, and while looking into his eyes full of love you thought that maybe he will keep his words. 

Jake

tw: reader can’t express their feelings, bad experience in sharing problems

Jake always was clingy towards you but it never was the problem. His hands almost always were wrapped around you, no matter if you were in public or not, you would feel his touch on your back or shoulder.

One day you had a movie-night and Jake was clinging onto you as usual. Wrapping hands around you, laying his head on your thighs, caressing your skin, he almost touched your recent scars that were covering your shoulder. Everytime Jake moved or shivered you would slightly flinch, avoiding contact between his hands and your scars under the shirt. 

Suddenly, your boyfriend pulled away from your thighs, holding onto your shoulder and you immediately gasped. “Ouch!”

Jake looked at you with worried eyes, pulling his hand away and holding it in the air. “Sorry! Did I grip too hard?”

You sighed, looking at him. “Yeah, a bit harsh. But it's okay.” Jake's gaze switched to your shoulder, covered with a shirt. He slightly pulled your sleeve up. “I'm sorry… There might be a bruise now. Let me look.” You immediately flinched from him. He didn't have to know about your scars. 

“No, it's okay.” Jake's eyes switched to your face with worry. 

“Baby, I'll just look…” He gently placed his hand on yours and you looked away, giving up. You knew he wouldn't leave you alone. Insisting would only cause more questions. 

Jake's fingers slowly pulled your sleeve up and his eyes widened. “Baby… what is that?..” Now he could see your recent scars that were blooming on your skin. 

There wasn't a certain reason why you did that. Sometimes negative feelings were too much to cope with and you, the person who had never been learnt how to take care of yourself and let your emotions out, would express everything, hurting yourself. You knew it was wrong but the thought of sharing your feelings with someone was too strange. Of course, you had tried. But it always ended the same. People would say you complain a lot and you would shut up, regretting letting out true feelings. But this time it was Jake. Jake who was your boyfriend, Jake who would never let himself hurt you. 

Your eyes watered with a feeling of despair but you didn't dare to meet his gaze. Awkward silence took the air away, not letting to breathe. However, tension in the room suddenly disappeared with Jake's gentle voice. “Hey…” His fingers tilted your chin up. Jake’s worried eyes met watered yours. “Where are they from?..” 

He looked so genuinely concerned that you couldn’t confess you were the one who did that with yourself. You bit your bottom lip, holding tears that started welling up in your eyes. There was no response. Jake started realising what your silent answer meant and his world faded away.

“It wasn’t you, right?..” he whispered, scared of his own words “You wouldn’t do that to yourself?…” Silence was making Jake go insane and he called you by your name. 

“Y/n?..” his hands held your, slightly squeezing them “Please, say something. I won;t judge you, I swear.”

You looked in the corner of the room quietly saying only a few words “That was me.”

Jake’s jaw clenched but he managed to ask “Why?..”

“I don’t know… I wasn’t… feeling well…” your voice was slightly shaky. Jake leaned close to you, making sure you could see everything in his eyes. 

“You have me. You can always share with me, you know that, right?” 

“I don’t want to complain to you. You don’t know what you’re signing up for.” you warned him, recalling your past experiences. 

“I don’t care. I want to make sure I’m doing the best I can to make you happy.” Jake saw your slight smile and leaned even closer to peck your lips before wrapping hands around you and whispering in your ear “Can you do that for me? Next time you feel bad… Tell me, scream at me, yell at me. As much as you need until you get rid of wanting to hurt yourself.” 

You caressed his hair pulling him closer and whispering “I love you, Jake.”He smiled, replying with the same soft words “I love you too.”

Sunghoon 

tw: self-harm in details, blood, low self-esteem, anxiety, jealousy, reader has REAL mental problems… (this one is crazy fr)

You knew Sunghoon pretty well as much as the fact that he only seemed to be cold. When you first met him, you thought he hated you for something or just didn’t like you, but after a while you found out you were wrong. Because of his cold appearance it’s hard to say what he’s feeling or thinking about. Still, you’ve loved him the way he is. However, your anxiety and self-esteem suffered the most in your relationship. Not because Sunghoon was too cold, but because you were afraid of doing or saying something wrong. Mental problems and fears took control of you and sometimes it led to hurting yourself. 

Sunghoon went out with friends. You were absolutely fine with that until it started being late and stars covered the dark sky. Sunghoon didn’t answer your calls, didn’t reply to your messages and you started worrying too much. Was he with other girls? Did he lie to you about his feelings? 

Minutes with these thoughts and attempts to call him again and you already found yourself in the bathroom with a blade in your hands. Fear of losing Sunghoon and hatred to yourself led you towards irrecoverable actions.

Consumed by your feelings, you didn’t notice the sound of unlocking door and footsteps of your boyfriend. He was surprised by not seeing you greeting him in the hallway and suggested you were sleeping. As Sunghoon carefully headed towards the bathroom he stood still in the doorframe, seeing you with bloody hands sitting on the cold tile. His eyes widened in fear and he ran to you, holding your shoulders and turning you to him.

“Y/n! Are you here? Do you hear me?” he enquired with fear slightly shaking you. 

Your eyes shoot opened “Hoon? What are you doing here?” 

“What do you mean? I came home as usual. What’s happened?..” he looked over you with worried eyes “We need to take you to the hospital.” 

Sunghoon started lifting you up but you stopped him lightly tapping his shoulder. 

“No… It’s okay…” You weakly smiled, tears on your cheeks becoming dry.

“It’s not okay. Your wrists are literally bleeding…” You could tell he was trying his hardest to stay calm but hysterical notes in his voice were telling the opposite. Sunghoon laid you on the bed and called the ambulance with shaky hands.When the call ended the room went silent. 

“We need to stop your… blood first” He hurried to the bathroom for some bandage to negligently stop your blood. Fortunately, cuts weren’t deep.

“I thought you wouldn’t come…” you mumbled watching Sunghoon treating your wounds.

Sunghoon looked at you with confusion “Why did you do that?.. I don’t understand…” His voice was quiet, your heart breaking into million pieces. 

“I’m sorry…” you whispered reaching for his cheek. “I thought… I thought you lied to me. You weren’t answering my texts and calls…” Your thumb slowly caressed his skin, wiping away a lonely tear that escaped from his watering eyes. Sunghoon gently took another hand of yours in his, rubbing the knuckles.

“My phone was discharged…” 

Oh. That was so stupid of you. How could you overreact so much?..

“Oh… I didn’t think about that…” The room went silent again. 

“Y/n, please… I’m begging you. Never do that again. Okay?..” Sunghoon’s pleading voice broke the silence. You hesitated before slowly nodding. “I don’t want to lose you like that.”

Your eyes watered, you started realising your mistake and what you did, what could happen. “I’m sorry, Hoon… I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The room was suddenly filled with a syren of the ambulance that flew from the opened window.

[fandoms-x-reader]

Eldest Sibling! MC

Headcannons

Requested By: @ainmunaqadh

Summary: The brothers' reactions to an MC who is the oldest sibling but is also the shortest sibling, and they have some self-esteem issues because of it. The Seven Brothers x Reader Word Count: 1,524

Lucifer is on your side one hundred percent of the time. He knew how frustrating it could be at times when you were the eldest sibling.

You felt responsible for your younger siblings and that responsibility made it all the more aggravating when your siblings didn’t listen to you.

Likewise, it was easier for you to understand some of the decisions that Lucifer made, even when none of his brothers could understand his reasons.

And he was grateful to have someone like you in the House of Lamentation. It was a presence that he was sorely missing from his life.

There have been times when he caught you giving lectures to his brothers when they’ve done something particularly rambunctious and he’s never been so proud.

In his head, he’s encouraging you to give them the scolding of a lifetime. But, he won’t step in. He’ll just admire you in action.

And if your self-esteem issues ever come up, he’ll do everything in his power to try and dispel them.

You were an excellent eldest sibling and you were great at being in charge; and, he would make sure the whole world knew it.

Mammon would relate to you the most out of everyone. He understood what it was like to be an older sibling but not get any respect from your little siblings.

You were the shortest out of all your siblings and because of that, sometimes they didn’t treat you like you were the eldest and that gave you a lack of self-confidence sometimes.

Mammon was always battling with his younger siblings. He did his best to come off as confident and self-assured as Lucifer was, but he was constantly made fun of by his little brothers and that led to him having self-esteem issues.

He’ll know how to comfort you when you’re feeling down on yourself more than anyone else because he’s speaking from experience.

And, if you ever get snippy with his younger brothers, you’ll ignite a new sense of confidence in Mammon.

He’ll think of the two of you as a team, and unlike Lucifer, he’ll verbally encourage you with your scolding.

He’ll wear a prideful smirk the entire time and endure the glares from his younger brothers while you finish your lecture.

And when you’re done, he’ll give them a pointed look, silently telling them not to mess with either one of you again. But, really, it’s just you the demon brothers don’t want to mess with. They could care less about Mammon being there for the lecture.

Levi struggled with being an older sibling sometimes. He knew that as the third-born, he was supposed to be looked at as one of the leaders when it came to his family.

But, he struggled with the pressure of making decisions and having strict rules which is why he typically kept to his room and did his own things.

So, it’s a bit of a comfort for him to see that you, an older sibling, also struggled sometimes with your siblings. It made him feel like less of a disappointment.

You had seen how determined and intimidating Levi could be in his games sometimes and you believed that if he could bring that out of himself in real life, he could be as intimidating as Lucifer to his younger brothers.

Levi didn’t care too much about real-life situations though. What he cared about was the way your assertive nature came out when the two of you were playing games.

With the way you could take charge in games, he thought you must be the best older sibling in the world.

Levi would be another one who would be good at helping you with your self-esteem issues and you were just as good at helping him with his.

He even took charge of his brothers a couple of times, surprising himself with his words. He was stunned when his little brothers actually listened to him and he was certain it was because of your encouragement. 

Satan’s reasons for not liking Lucifer weren’t because he was the eldest sibling. It was because everyone compared him to Lucifer.

So, the fact that you’re the eldest sibling doesn’t bother Satan one bit.

In fact, he enjoys the way you’ll put yourself in charge and handle the situations that come up during your time in the Devildom.

It takes a special person to be able to adapt to a life full of demons and you took the challenge head-on and exceeded everyone’s expectations.

Satan couldn’t help but wonder if your siblings helped prepare you for your adventures down there. Maybe your siblings acted like demons - so to speak.

Whatever it was, Satan was grateful for it. He adored watching you when you were being assertive and had a small smirk whenever one of his siblings was taken aback by it.

Here they were, Avatars of Sin and some of the most powerful demons in the Devildom and they were being intimidated by you.

Everything about your personality impressed Satan, and if anyone dared to not show you the proper respect, he would step in.

That included if your siblings decided to tease you about being the shortest one.

To put it simply, Asmo liked it when someone could be dominant.

And since you were the eldest sibling, you tended to have your moments of dominance.

They would make Asmo swoon every time.

It was the way you presented yourself that made Asmo fawn over you.

You could act so sweet and innocent at times and then whenever someone crossed a line, you would be giving them a lecture that competed with Lucifer’s.

It was exciting for Asmo to see both sides of you so he didn’t mind your “eldest sibling” personality one bit.

In fact, in true Asmo fashion, sometimes if he caught one of his brothers doing something wrong, he would call on you just so he could see you give them a good scolding.

The first time he found out that you had some confidence issues due to your height, he was shocked. How could you of all people have self-esteem issues when you were so perfect to him?

But, if there was anyone who could help with confidence, it was Asmo.

He would shower you with compliments until you believed him.

And if your siblings ever made fun of your height in front of him, rest assured he’ll find a way to ensure they never do it again.

Beel might be the second-to-youngest out of his siblings, but he had a very mature personality and sometimes acted more like an older sibling than some of his brothers.

And because of how mature he was, it was easy for you to get along with him.

Beel never got into any trouble or tried to stir up issues. The worst he ever did was eat all of the food - but that was to be expected of the Avatar of Gluttony.

But, whenever you needed help lecturing one of his brothers, he was the perfect helping hand.

There had been multiple times Lucifer called on Beel to help him punish one of his siblings and Beel never questioned it as long as there was proper food compensation.

And the same went for you. If one of the brothers did something that made you mad or was deserving of a lecture, he would hunt them down for you and make sure they stayed still as you taught them a lesson.

And he didn’t even do it for the food. He just did it for you because he cared about you. And because maybe he enjoyed it when you were in charge.

He would make sure to never be on the receiving end of your lecture. And, when he found out about your low self-esteem, he would do everything he could to help you come to love your height the way he did.

Belphie is the least pleased about your “eldest sibling” personality. But that’s mostly just because he has a hard time getting along with Lucifer.

It wasn’t that he necessarily thought that Lucifer was a bad person - it was just his nagging was something that irritated Belphie beyond belief.

It got to the point where Belphie would actually dread seeing his brother sometimes, knowing that a lecture usually came with him.

So, naturally, he expected you to be the same way. Always on his case about something. 

And it was easy for you to see Lucifer’s side of things when it came to Belphie. Sometimes, the eldest sibling has to make tough decisions for their own good.

But, you never flaunted it the way Lucifer did, which was a huge thing for Belphie.

And although you could have your times when you scolded the brothers, you always knew how to lighten up and have some fun with them.

That was something that seemed impossible for Lucifer to do.

So, although he’s a bit wary of you at first, he can see that you aren’t just Lucifer 2.0 and because of that, he grows closer to you all the same.

[c0s-lettuce]

Not sure if this will make sense

But can you do when were Sergei first love comes back. Either he runs into her when he’s out hunting someone and it ends up being her father

a/n: hi nonnie, thanks for the request! i decided to write this in more of a blurb style, hope that's okay!

------

it's hard to forget first love, let alone one that was so strong. sergei was young when he met her, but he knew immediately. this was no passing fancy. that's why he ended it. it was his last act of control before he fell in too deep.

his new life was lonely, but he accepted it. he told himself he was sparing her from future heartbreak. it was for the best. he wasn't made for love, at least not anymore.

he would think about her less and less over the years. not necessarily because he stopped caring, but because he just didn't have the time.

but sometimes he couldn't help it. he'd hear a song that she used to like, or he'd walk past someone who resembled her. or sometimes, during sleepiness nights, he'd think of her completely unprompted.

work was a good distraction. sergei was following a rather long trail of people when he came across his next target. but the name gave him pause. he stared at the surname. her surname.

but the first name belonged to a man. sergei shook his head. there are eight billion people in this world. this was just a coincidence. a distant cousin, at most.

but soon, he found out that this man was in fact was her father. sergei remembered very little about him, except that he was distant and shady, much like his own father. perhaps that was a reason he got along so well with her.

but currently, sergei was at a loss. what was he supposed to do? abandon the hunt? find out more? try to find her?

no, no. he couldn't possibly... could he?

but after too much stalling, he decided he couldn't keep running from her forever. he had to face this. it was time.

------

she lived an unassuming life, doing what she needed to get by. it was a peaceful existence, if it wasn't for her father's constant pestering.

she didn't know the details of his criminal life, steering clear of him as soon as she was old enough. desperate to reconnect, he would regularly reach out to her and try to make amends.

it was all for show. she knew this. he was only trying to make himself feel better for being a shitty father. so, she ignored him.

it didn't take long for sergei to find her. however, it did take long for him to approach her. he watched her leave work one night. she was beautiful. more graceful, almost ethereal. but most of all, she was still... her.

she froze when she heard her name. the voice was low and rough, but strikingly familiar. she turned around and saw him, standing before her. sergei kravinoff.

for a moment, she could only stare. she was speechless. sergei couldn't help the satisfaction he felt from still having that effect on her.

"it's been a while," he said. "can we talk? over dinner, maybe?"

no, she wanted to say, as unpleasant memories threaten to surface. she didn't want anything to do with him.

sensing her hesitation, sergei added, "please? it's about your father."

she furrowed her brow. what does he know about her father? she wasn't sure what sergei was involved in these days, but if he's sought her out after all this time, it must be important.

finally she spoke, "alright, fine. lead the way."

sergei nodded, relieved. as they walked, he tried to calm his nerves. he wasn't here to reconnect. he was here strictly for business. but history is bound to repeat itself. he would start falling for her again. he would feel like he's losing control. but maybe this time, he won't run.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Do you think of Ginny as a “pick me girl”? Some of the things you say in your post makes her come across as that, which is sad since she is a strong female character and there’s so many m|m bloggers who shitting on strong female characters these days.

I don't know if you're just looking for a fight or if you're genuine, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt about this subject once.

Yes, I think Ginny comes off as a bit of a "pick me" which I already wrote about here, which I don't think was intentional on JKR's part. I don't think Ginny was intended to come off the way she did.

Like, Ginny in the early books is just, really boring, in my opinion. and I think Ginny in book 5 had the potential to be an interesting character. She had a good sense of humor and she seemed somewhat in line with the twins (though on the crueler side), but I despise Ginny of books 6 and 7.

Like, all power to you for like Ginny and her romance with Harry. Truly, have fun with your canon pairing, I wish you the best and that you find many fics that portray them just as you like to see them.

But I don't see them that way. I think Ginny is a badly written character, and I think her romance with Harry is similarly badly written. It has nothing to do with gay ships. Trust me, if Harry was written into a compelling romance with a well-written female character, I'd be all over that. But he wasn't.

I mean, hell, I don't even ship Drarry, which is the most popular gay ship for Harry because I don't like Draco much. I think he's written well for what he is in the story, but I just don't vibe with him.

Becouse I don't need an excuse to dislike a character or a pairing. I can give my reasons, I have them, but I'm (and anyone else is) allowed to say I just don't vibe with a character. Even if Ginny was the best-written character in literature (she isn't) and her romance with Harry was perfectly written (it isn't) I could still shit on her as much as I want to, you know why?

Becouse she's fictional.

Fictional characters can't be offended. You can't be mean to a fictional character. Because fictional characters don't have feelings. They're not real.

You can say you personally find it sad people don't like Ginny the way you do, and you can be personally disappointed — but it isn't objectively sad. It isn't sad for Ginny becouse Ginny isn't real and only real people have feelings. It's sad to you, that's your opinion.

I love Harry, he's my favorite and I made it no secret, but I have good irl friends who shit on him in casual conversation and I can laugh with them when they make a funny joke about him even when we disagree, you know why? — we agree to disagree. We know Harry is fictional and that he doesn't care. Because he isn't real, he can't care.

So, for me, it doesn't matter if you shit and hate on fictional characters and fictional relationships as long as you're decent to real people.

You aren't a misogynist for disliking a female fictional character. She's fictional. She isn't real. You would be a misogynist if you mistreated irl women because they're women. In the same vein, you aren't a homophobe for disliking a popular gay ship. You would be a homophobe if you mistreated irl gay people because of their sexuality. You aren't wrong for disliking a fictional character or ship for any reason, even if the reason is just "vibes". You would be a dick if you mistreated irl people because they don't think the same as you about a fictional character or ship.

I personally find it sad that fandom seems to have lost the ability to say "agree to disagree" and move on (if the ability ever existed in the first place). I follow some blogs who shit on HJP himself because they post other stuff I find compelling. I follow blogs that post a lot of Drarry because I like how they write Harry even if I don't really care for Draco. You can like someone and enjoy their writing and be friendly with them even if you don't agree with them on some fictional characters and fictional relationships. And if it really bothers you, you can block and move on as many of us do.

So yeah, I think Ginny comes off as a "pick me." I think she's a badly written character, and you can disagree with me on that, you can think she's a strong female character, but that's your opinion, not an objective truth. And I dislike her for being a badly written character, which, I assure you, is gender-natural.

I also think it's important to remember that at the end of the day, we're all just playing with dolls, and the only feelings that matter are those of real people.

[graementality]

behold?? my full interpretation on all of the main factors of CCCC!! I don't know what compelled me to write all this but here we are. (whoops this got LONGG)

enjoy!

[disclaimer that this is my own interpretation and, while I take alot from canon, some of it will be closer to the fanon side of things. ]

[disclaimer 2 that I get all writery in certain parts and essentially write "from the characters' perspective" so those bits aren't MY OWN opinions, it's what I think they would feel about certain things C:]

[disclaimer 3 that alot of this is me stating the obvious, aswell as making them out to seem quite horrible, I promise I love them all and while they do have many flaws, they have good moments too </3 uhh ok yeah don't kill me with rocks pls]

Heart

• first of all: Heart has a huge victim complex. whether intentionally or not, he will always play the victim- he can get quite emotionally manipulative in this sense too. It can never be his fault- "he was provoked" "the other deserved it" "the other started it" "I'm innocent I'm innocent I'm innocent."

• he *can be* immature. now this word gets thrown around alot by Mind but i think he's 'immature' not in the sense that he throws tantrums and can't be trusted and has nothing of importance to say like Mind thinks. he is in the way that he refuses to listen to others, refuses to take the blame, and can also be quite petty and has a tendency to blow up (sound familiar? yeah. Minds immature too, we love Heart Mind parallels).

• he is spiteful and impulsive, but can you blame him? he's constantly being belittled and fought against; of course he's gonna take any chance he can to get back at Mind- to show him how it feels- to make him finally *listen*.

• Heart constantly feels like no one listens to him, that he is the disregarded part bcus he's "uncontrollable and unruly". this obviously forms alot of built up resentment because no one is taking him seriously. I think he can switch alot between "I need to prove that I'm just as good as Mind, I'll show them." and "they're right, I'm violent and impulsive and I'm ruining our chances of becoming Whole.". as you'd expect- his mood swings are wild.

• he is Inherently violent and impulsive. nothing is premeditated- if he's angry, he'll act on it. he'll say and do whatever he thinks will get him out of a situation or will make the other person listen.

• just the same as Mind- he is under the full impression that his opinions on how Whole should be are correct. And of course there is truth in that, emotions are a necessary part of existence, but just like Mind, he doesn't understand the need for his other half's part aswell.

• I think he very much wallows in his depression. he finds it difficult not to, but when he's bad- he's bad. he takes after Whole in that sense. he will be selfish and cruel and will isolate. he will spend all his time in his room and will be significantly more vile to Mind. he gets very caught up in his own emotions and depression, which just enhances it. (that is until things start being better and they're on their way to concord ofc, they all start helping eachother and themselves again) (this sounds mean I promise I love him, sadly I love projecting onto him more)

• there's alot of negatives here for him being my favourite character but trust me he can be good too. He's excellent at comfort, he knows just how to make someone feel better when they need it. He's empathetic, he can read people's emotions with ease and because of this-is able to understand them. Every fight with Mind- he feels his anger and frustration just as much as his own, he knows Mind gets just as riled up as him when tipped over the edge. The same goes with Soul, he can feel Soul's anger like a looming threat when their fights escalate too far. He can feel Soul's guilt and and how he relishes in the control despite it. That is to say- Heart can be kind and caring too, when it counts. he's the love AND the hate; it just so happens that he's got ALOTT of things to be mad about in his life </3

Mind

• Mind is astronomically emotionally repressed, it is a problem. he views emotions as something that holds him and everyone back from rational thinking and being at their optimal performance levels. he doesn't allow himself to get caught up in emotions (this of course is a lie, and excludes his petty outbursts at Heart, those don't count).

• ^ so much to the point that he 'removes himself of everything humane and emotional' by replacing himself with mechanical parts. no I don't think that's canon but I love this headcanon and I will die on this hill.

• though he would deny it: he is very petty, and does enjoy provoking Heart whenever given the chance. (which of course Heart does aswell)

• he is a 'control freak' to his core. though it comes off as tyrannical, he truly does think he knows what's best for the Whole, and that's why he's so adamant on being the ruler. logic is straightforward, logic can be easily worked through and used to make optimal decisions, thinking clearly avoids all possible bad situations. logic is his mainstay, his rock. (If he were to let in the flood of repressed emotion, he wouldn't be able to handle it all, and would lose hold of his mainstay whilst desperately trying to stay grasped onto it. he would be scared and lost in it all without a way back up.)

• he hides behind his apathetic facade but he *does* feel and he *does* get angry and upset and scared- and he hates himself for it. he can't be seen as vulnerable, as weak. I don't think he even knows *how* to deal with emotions either. he's spent so much time shoving them down that when they finally all come back up, he genuinly doesn't know what to do, he panics, unable to use logic in a situation like this.

• he is stubborn as all hell.

• he is Whole's ego. he doesn't think he's ever good enough and yet pretends he's the best; he believes he's the best too- contradictory I know, they're all hypocrites /lh.

• despite all these sympathisable things, he *is* cold and he *is* cruel at times. just like Heart, he has his reasons, but that doesn't make his actions justified. (make up already you guys suck!!!!)

Soul

• sigghhh identity issues x1000; he doesn't know who he is or what he's meant to be. he isn't a real person, and what's worse, he isn't *Whole*.

• I think so much of his character is based around Whole rather than him being much of his own person. his identity is a mimicry of Whole, botched together to make the imperfect Self, always wrong, never perfect enough. he has spent his whole existence working towards becoming someone else that he's never once thought to make an identity of his own- it's all for Whole, he would be nothing without him.

• he does not want to have to hurt the other two but in the end, that's all they'll listen to. he mimics power and control. he doesn't want to hurt them- but what else does he have if not power over these two? he has no control over the loops, no power against Whole, he can't do anything to stop this in the grand scheme, so he exerts control in the only way he can. he (tries to) keeps them in line. there is a large amount of guilt around that though.

• he's actually a very guilty person in general, his existence is merely the happenstance of dissonance; he and the others are born from it. he is the hubris of his Whole's misery- how could he not feel guilty about his every motion and thought, his existence itself is made from anguish {his Whole's anguish}.

• he yearns for non-existence and existence simultaneously; he contradicts himself. he wants to be Whole, but at the same time he wants to co-exist with him, happily.

• overall he is tired, he is very very tired. he doesn't have much left in him and he'll do whatever is necessary to just make it *stop* at this point. I think even after cacophony ends and the fighting finally stops, he's still on edge. he flinches at every little sound and raised voice. he wakes up in the middle of the night thinking he heard the other two arguing again, he has nightmares. he's very paranoid at all times.

• during cacophony I feel like Heart and Mind are defintely dehumanised by him. whether subconsciously or not. they become the ids, rather than his fellow thirds. they're a problem he needs to fix, parasites he needs to be rid of. he wants to get along and trust them, truly, but he never can.

• touch starved. this needs no elaboration.

• he worships Whole, devotes himself to him. he thinks of him like a god, something holy and perfect and completely out of his reach. his whole identity and existence is built around becoming him, this places Whole as the epitome of perfection. he wishes he was able to be close to Whole, to know him- but that's impossible, and he thinks if he ever even got the chance to brush their hands together his body would explode at the heat of his divine touch. yeah listen to this freak, please be normal for once in your life Soul.

Whole

(disclaimer: this is the character Whole and is in no way how I view CJ!! they are completely seperate thank yew) -

• my entire perception of Whole is mismatched ideas I've collected from mutuals but a large portion of his personality is from 'live the dream'. so, just picture that version of Whole mixed in with the weird codependent god relationship with Soul and that's my Whole 👍

• he is selfish and hypocritical at his core, he's almost as guilt-ridden as his Soul.

• he knows he does bad things, to himself and others. he hates it, he regrets it, he feels guilty for it- but he will always come back and do it again.

• he lacks barely any form of self love- of course this is going to make it difficult for him to sympathise and love his little blots- *parts of himself*.

• he is (of course) suicidal, alot of his (self proclaimed) 'selfishness' stems from this; he can't help it but its true. he's spent so long only looking out for himself, in isolation, believing that everything he does is pointless- his actions are gonna be selfish, whether he likes it or not. hence- the loop; he continues to repeat it.

• he is a chronic liar, he lies to himself, he lies to HMS, he lies to his friends. sometimes harmlessly, sometimes Very Much Not. there are times he's sworn he won't restart the loop and believed it, but of course that never lasted very long.

• he's not good at maintaining relationships- with anyone. this is why he struggles so much with Soul's unwavering devotion to him. not only does he feel like he's not putting into their relationship as much as Soul is, but he also lives in constant fear that *it will end eventually*. Soul will realise what a bad person he is and abandon him, or he'll fuck something up on his own.

• Whole has religious trauma (two wuv), and because of this he is very uncomfortable with Soul's worshipping of him.

• despite this, he still leans into it; no one's ever adored him this fervently, without hesitation, he can't help but enjoy it at least a little. both him and Soul are touch starved as hell so, it's *alot*. It's easier when they're in the loops, when he's separated from them all, from their resentment and their love. he doesn't think he deserves anything but what he thinks of himself. so Soul's unwavering love and devotion throws him off, but who would he be to refuse such a scarce thing in his life?

The Juno Incident

• ok!! I like lot's of different interpretations of the Juno incident honestly, though the ones that align best with what I think happened are these:

• Heart missed, literally. his bullet did not hit Mind. I believe he had low vision (just like me fr!!) before being blinded fully after TJI and this of course made aiming difficult.

• ALTERNATIVELY, he *did* shoot Mind, and the bullet *did* hit. Whether that was in the throat or some other place idrk, it fluctuates.

• In both instances, I think it went like this: after Heart's shot, Mind was shocked, he was scared, ESPECIALLY if the bullet did actually hit. I think in that moment, he did not have his logic to rely on, emotion- shock, fear, betrayal, anger- all of it, took over. he probably couldn't move for a few *very long, agonising* minutes, he was shaking, he was trying to organise his thoughts to best approach the situation and *couldn't*. his smug demeanour was finally broken down and in that moment he was truly *weak* (which he resents both himself and Heart for every day).

• meanwhile Heart very quickly flips from seething hatred and anger to regret, he's a sobbing mess. he's also scared- partly for Mind (if the bullet hit), but mainly for himself, mainly of *Soul* and what the consequences will be. he starts hysterically apologising, not to anyone in particular, just whoever will listen. he immediately goes into defence mode- victim mode.

• when Soul gets to the scene it's a mix of emotions. he's mad, mostly, but also feels betrayed- this is going to impact Whole, this is a setback we can't come back from, how could they do this? but of course the first thing he has to do is help, mediate, punish- as always.

• when it comes to whether or not Soul blinded Heart, I'm not sure. I enjoy the interpretations where he does, but also the ones that don't. but I firmly believe that it was majorly Heart's doing (self inflicted whilst in Apathy which I'll elaborate more on soon).

• Soul still punishes Heart obviously. after realising that Heart isn't the one that's been hurt here, and is crying crocodile tears, he quickly makes his way to Mind, who is still trying to regain his composure. Heart is obviously still screaming and wailing, and Soul now has the full picture of what happened, he tears into Heart. he yells at him about how he's betrayed them, betrayed Whole, how he's broken everything. Heart just defends and defends, cries and cries, he doesn't want to face the consequences. Soul eventually sends him to Apathy, where he can't wreck anything else (except himself). This was maybe the first time they were all equally afraid of eachother. (It will happen again, and again, of course)

• after dealing with Heart, Soul tends to Mind, who is *very* averse to being looked after (he doesn't need his pity). But he is obviously Very Fucked Up and accepts the care anyway. cue weeks of recovery and PTSD.

Apathy

• Apathy is somewhere in headspace that no one knows how to get to, they just end up there when that is where they need to go. It's a long walk, or a short one; no one really knows when you end up underground, you just do.

• I picture it as something of a cave system but instead of rocks, it's made up of decay. It smells like dirt and rotting flesh, the walls squirm as if they were alive, the floors are covered in rotting vine-like things that crawl around you and pull you deeper into the pit. Its dark and agonising.

• Heart relies heavily on sound and touch, this place is a sensory nightmare for him to say the least. he can barely see, Apathy is unable to harbour sound, and everything around him makes him want to throw up.

• eventually his own actions, with the additional side effects of being somewhere so horrific all alone for so long- causes Heart to scratch out his eyes. I hc him as someone very prone to scratching and skin picking- it got a bit much here to say the least and that got taken out on his eyes.

• I imagine he was down there for at least a few weeks. at the max a little over a month. Soul is the one to come get him, Mind does not want to face him.

The Loop

• Whole purposefully restarts the loop. for quite awhile I stuck with the idea that the loop restarts itself, like when they start fighting again- as the cycle of depression does. and while I still believe that- I like Whole restarting it on purpose more :]. It gives not only the plot, but all of the characters so much more depth in my opinion. there's resentment, there's guilt, there's it's effects on relationships and relationships with oneself. It's just overall so horribly good.

• I mainly like the way things happen in 'live the dream'. as in: Whole gets tired of Being A Person, he doesn't want to exist anymore- so he sits down at his piano and begins his song to restart the loop; the loop that brings him to the peaceful realm of unconsciousness whilst his thirds go through hell once again. and when they finally reach concord, he's brought back to reality. and it repeats itself.

• regarding memories: Soul remembers the most, which isn't saying much but yk. his memories of the loop mainly consist of the main events (split, fighting, Juno incident, any other significant things). his memories aren't clear enough to ever prevent any of this though, he just has to live with the fact that he knows something bad is going to happen, and he can't do anything to stop it. even if he did manage to, the loop would find a way to make it happen anyway. (for example: he calms Heart down before he manages to shoot Mind. Soul thinks all is well but later that night he hears muffled yelling from one of the blots' rooms, he's annoyed for a moment- just another fight- until he hears a gunshot. It happened anyway, his efforts were fruitless.)

• Soul is aware they've been through many many loops. he doesn't know how many, but he knows they've been here for A Very Long Time. he's tired.

• Heart and Mind are..somewhat aware of the loop? I think during calamity and closer to concord they're able to remember better, but in the midst of cacophony, they might as well know nothing. the battle for control and constant warring prevents them from remembering they've been here before- and will be once more. It all feels familiar, they write it off as deja vu. alot of things happen because of their 'instincts', for example: Heart's first thought during The Fight with Mind is to grab the gun; he's never shot anyone before, so why'd the thought come up? well it's obviously the most efficient choice of action- it'll certainly get Mind to shut up and listen to you. <- and so the cycle repeats itself.

• on how many loops there have been. I think it comes and goes like the cycle of depression (obviously). I think they each last for a few months up to a year at a time, and concord lasts for roughly a few months aswell. however many of those fit into the time that Whole has been alive and struggling with depression is how many loops there have been.

done!! holy shit that's alot, over 3k to be exact. these ideas will probably change and fluctuate over time but it was nice to get it all down for now :] feel free to send me asks about my headcanons of these weird little bugs, I love them :33 !!!

[anemicjellyfish]

Random theorizing and/or speculation post idk.

So I've said it before and I'll say it again. Helluva Boss is pretty damn good at "Show, Don't Tell."

While it isn't entirely devoid of expositional dialogue, it really doesn't seem like they rely on it heavily. Even with a few heart-to-heart moments between characters like Blitzø & Fizzarolli in Oops and Loona & Octavia in Seeing Stars, big dialogue exchanges are kept to a minimum. Character development happens over time and through on-screen events rather than sitting down and talking it all out.

This, combined with the show's tendency to both 1, let events come full-circle and 2, show generational trauma as a way to let characters break free of the molds set for them, is why I think Octavia might get the "Stolas Experience" soon.

Now, I love Octavia. If I could pick a character to make sure the writing team doesn't traumatize, it's her. (This is a No Hate Zone for Octavia and Stolas btw.)

What I mean is that Octavia seems to have been kept from the same expectations that were put upon Stolas his whole life. She appears to make her own choices and express herself in ways that Stolas wasn't allowed. I have a feeling that, now that she is with her mother and uncle, she will be held to a similar standard as her father (at least until she's of age, which is likely 18).

I feel like minimal expositional dialogue will come in to bridge the gaps in her knowledge. Octavia getting told she's "just like her father" as an insult when she's not adhering to new standards.

To bring it to a head, I also like to speculate that Stella will try to arrange Octavia a marriage of her own. When Via pushes back on this, the "just like your father" line may come back. I also think Stella will deliver the final nail in the coffin of Octavia's opinion of her parent's marriage here.

My personal headcanon of the line is something like: "oh, for fuck's sake, Via. All Goetia marriages are arranged. It's not like Stolas and I ever loved each other. *laughter* Andrealphus, could you imagine? Stolas and I in love?! How ridiculous..." (mocking fades into the background as Via processes what she just heard) But this is just fanfic-level stuff that plays in the background of my brain.

Now, to skip ahead just a little. There are very few characters for Octavia to turn to. The most likely candidate for a lot of us is Loona. It makes sense, as they've already shared some screentime & Octavia got some solid advice then. And I don't disagree at all. It's a good choice.

But I like to think Octavia has something in common with someone she despises, but who could never hold hate in his heart for her.

Blitzø and Octavia have some unlikely common ground in severing connections with those they care about most through an emotional response to feeling unloved.

Octavia's song "I Will Be Okay" uses fire imagery to burn photographs to symbolize her readiness to cut off contact with her father after she came to the conclusion that he never loved her.

Blitzø set a literal fire unintentionally when his own father valued Fizzarolli over him, and likely felt that Fizz would never love Blitzø in return.

While the parallel between them isn't completely perfect, Blitzø is uniquely suited to understand a teenager who is scared, alone, and feels unloved.

We know a good deal about the circus fire, but Blitzø really hasn't spoken about it to anyone. It's unclear if he ever went into detail about it to Fizz, and he only vaguely referred to it being "traumatic" when Stolas brought up Blitzø's love of horses.

I personally like to think that Octavia will be the one Blitzø tells about it all. I think he'll obscure the details of a teenage crush to stay on-topic. But the loss of a loving parent (Blitzø's mom/Stolas) and being left with a horrible one (Blitzø's dad/Stella) is something that connects them in ways that both of them don't realize yet.

This doesn't have to fix things. Confronting traumatic events doesn't mean those events no longer happened. Blitzø carries the physical scars of his past with him everywhere he goes, and the emotional pain doesn't always heal without leaving scars of its own.

Octavia could slowly rebuild her relationship with her dad over time. It's not impossible yet. But she is slowly gaining an understanding of how things work in Goetic society; she will likely know soon that she was only born to be an heir out of precaution. So a part of her is always going to be the teenage girl who needs reassurance that she's loved, that she isn't the obligation that she thinks she is.

Sorry for another incomplete post. My thumb is hurting at the knuckle because I over-extended it the other day and it's hard to type on my phone with just one thumb.

[scoobydoodean]

🫣🫣 i always say cas (and sam too) would strongly dislike a lot of the casgirl (and samgirl) opinions, especially regarding dean. but i’m thinking now that jack would also hate to see jackgirls dismissing his autonomy and absolving him of accountability and insisting he should just hate dean completely. when, canonically, jack has never wanted any of that.

💯 Jack doesn't hate Dean at all. He idolizes him (and I think Dean knows this and I think he's thinking, "Don't" because he doesn't see himself as a role model, but that's one of those things you don't get to decide). Jack understands Dean and only three days after he's born, is trying to emulate Dean's mannerisms, which is especially interesting given how angry and riddled with grief Dean clearly is. You'd think that'd be a turnoff for Jack, but it's not. Some people think Jack was afraid of Dean, but I don't. I think Jack was able to sense that Dean was a good man going through a hard time. He gravitated more toward Dean even though Sam was being "nicer" because he sensed that Sam was being insincere about his motives in the first few episodes and Dean wasn't. Dean was also showing and feeling his grief. Jack was grieving his own mother (just like Dean was) and Cas (just like Dean was) while Sam was trying to emotionally detach. Sam explains to Jack how hunter funerals work while they burn Kelly and Cas's bodies, but Dean is standing there feeling—hollowed out and lost. Jack knows better than to mirror Dean's grief 1:1, but his example shows Jack that feeling it is acceptable, and that Dean cares about Jack's dad (Cas) and the loss of his own mother, whereas Sam is doing his best to numb himself and ends up not being relatable to Jack because of that.

Jack overhears Sam and Dean's shouting match over Sam minimizing Cas's death/pretending it didn't happen so he can invalidate Dean's grief and I think things make a lot of sense to Jack then. Jack doesn't remember what happened before he was born— when he (or something pretending to be him) was communicating with Cas and Kelly. He's able to piece together a lot from Sam and Dean's fight about why Dean can't trust him and gets an even bigger picture over how much people mean to Dean. Jack models his mannerisms after Dean because Dean so visibly cares and feels, and Jack identifies with caring about people deeply and feeling so much that it hurts because Jack is also like that!

And I think you're absolutely right. Jack hates having his accountability denied. Even if it's not fair to him, Jack's dangerously explosive power is a reality, and he is ultimately the one who has to deal with it! And I think Jack also (even if it comes out in a largely unhelpful way) appreciates that Dean is more likely to take that seriously and even puts part of the responsibility of Jack's volatility on himself. There's a fight about Jack's volatile powers and his culpability in handling them very early on, after the Dodge City case, when Jack trying to flex his power proudly to Cas ends in a man being dead. Jack is already upset in the car ride home with Sam and Cas, but starts talking again when Dean comes back and reveals that he covered up Jack killing someone, and Sam says, "good".

SAM: How'd it go? DEAN: Usual. Killed the bad guy, saved the girl. SAM: What about the, uh… DEAN: Took care of it. SAM: Good. JACK: Good? How is that good? I killed someone. What was his name? The guard? Did he have a family?

Jack cares so much, and Sam says covering it up is "good", and Cas tries to tell him to ignore it—to put what he did out of his mind, but Jack isn't having it:

CASTIEL: Jack, don't do this to yourself. JACK: No, did he?

Dean is the only one who answers him instead of encouraging him to just not care.

DEAN: Yes, he did.

Dean knows denying that the entire thing happened or that the loss of that man's life and that it likely had broader impacts on his family won't make Jack feel better. Jack needs to be allowed to wrestle with the actual weight of his mistake and can't just compartmentalize it. Dean knows this, because Dean is exactly the same way. THEY GET EACH OTHER.

I think it's appropriate that this is where Dean tells Jack he was wrong about him and that Jack isn't a monster. But that isn't the only thing Jack needs to hear from someone (he's hearing a lot of that, actually!). The thing is for all Sam, Dean, and Cas might give reassurances in this episode that Jack's intentions were never to harm anyone and he isn't a monster, Jack knows that ultimately, lack of control of his powers still presents a danger that ultimately starts and ends with him. While that may present him with a burden that is unfair to him (because other people don't have to deal with what he's dealing with in that sense), it is nonetheless a burden he is forced by reality to bear, and denying the weight of that reality and how it weighs him down doesn't leave him feeling supported. It leaves him feeling unheard and alone. He doesn't want to be treated like a child with no culpability. He wants someone to take the dangers of what he can do seriously.

[kikyoupdates]

Infatuated ⭑˚💌⭑ 𝑎 𝑓𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑒𝑛𝑑

yandere!bnha x reader

yandere, reverse harem, bnha x fem!reader, slowburn, slowburn yandere

Your Quirk is rather unique. It plays out almost like a game, giving you missions and goals that help you become stronger. On top of that, you also have the ability to charm those around you. It sounds innocent enough on paper, and you can’t help but revel in the attention everyone keeps showering you with. But what happens when their feelings give way to something more sinister?

previous | story masterlist | next

If someone had asked you a few hours ago how you would be spending your day, you could never have predicted it would be like this.

There's a man in front of you, so incredibly gaunt that you might’ve mistaken him for a skeleton. His cheeks are completely sunken in, practically hollow, and nearly every time he speaks, blood spews out of his mouth. 

This man is the greatest hero in the world, All Might. 

Honestly, you're still struggling to make sense of it. Today has been one big series of misadventures. Starting with Katsuki’s merciless bullying of Izuku at school, then being attacked by some slime villain that attempted to take Izuku’s body hostage, to finally being rescued by All Might—only to discover that there's far more to him than meets the eye.  

Izuku is especially horrified, since he’s idolized All Might for as long as you can remember.  

“But... how?” he gapes. “Are you really All Might? No... it can’t be real. I just don’t understand how this could possibly be true...”  

You can't really believe it either, at least not until All Might lets out a weary sigh and lifts up his shirt, revealing a gruesome wound that has you wondering how he's even still alive right now. Apparently, he got that injury from a villain several years ago, and the aftereffects are so severe that it has permanently weakened him. You're used to seeing the All Might that everyone else knows—that blindingly-bright, impressively muscular man who never stops smiling, no matter what. But the All Might standing in front of you right now couldn't be any more different. He isn't smiling, nor does he give off the impression of someone you can entrust with your life.  

He isn't superhuman. He is flawed and weak, just like the average person.  

“I can’t work as a hero for more than three hours per day,” All Might explains grimly. “That’s my limit. I was trying so hard to get away from you kids... but I guess the secret’s out now. This is my true form. My body just isn’t what it used to be. I’ve kept this hidden from the public, because I can only imagine how frightened people would be if they found out about my current state. No matter what, the Symbol of Peace cannot succumb to the forces of evil.”  

Izuku splutters hopelessly. “But... but... whenever you save people, you’re always smiling and laughing. You always look so sure of yourself, and—”  

“The reason I laugh isn’t because I’m not scared. I do it to distract myself from the constant fear and pressure weighing me down. Pro heroes must always put their lives on the line. It’s an incredibly dangerous job, and I doubt you’d ever find a hero who doesn’t get scared.” All Might pauses, then flashes Izuku a sympathetic look. “Earlier, you asked me if someone who is Quirkless can still become a hero. Knowing what I know about the hero profession, and all the dangers that come with it... I just can’t in good conscience bring myself to tell you that it’s possible.”  

The second All Might utters those words, all the color drains from Izuku’s cheeks. You can see that he’s broken out into a cold sweat, and he's struggling to breathe evenly, veering dangerously close to a state of hyperventilation. 

“I... see,” is all he manages to respond, staring blankly at the ground.  

All Might tries to force a smile, but it isn't very reassuring. “If you care about saving people, you can always go into police work. The police don’t often receive the acknowledgment they deserve, but it is nonetheless an admirable profession. I can’t possibly condemn someone that has a dream. It’s a good thing to push yourself and try to reach your goals. But at the same time... you have to see reality for what it is, kid.”  

Just like that, he leaves, and you can tell that Izuku’s entire world has just shattered.  

Instinctively, you wrap your arms around him and squeeze tight. “Don’t listen to him,” you try to encourage. “Just because there aren’t any Quirkless heroes yet doesn’t mean there can’t be. It’s okay, Izuku. You can still try. Nothing is set in stone.”  

Under ordinary circumstances, this might've worked. Granted, it isn't as if you can just snap your fingers and make everything okay all of a sudden, but you normally succeed in pacifying Izuku whenever he's going through a particularly rough patch. After hugging him and consoling him for a while, he usually calms down.  

Unfortunately, this situation is far from ordinary, and thus, your attempts fall flat.  

“Thanks, [Name].” Izuku’s eyes are already bloodshot and brimming with tears. He is thanking you, but you aren't even sure what for, considering how utterly broken he looks. “I’ll... be alright. All Might isn’t wrong. I need to see reality for what it is. I’ve been such an idiot, all this time.”  

After staring into his vacant, tear-filled gaze, you feel like crying. But you don't , because that's the last thing Izuku needs right now. What use would you be if he ends up having to console you instead? For his sake, you have to stay positive.  

Or at the very least, look it.  

For a brief moment, you even consider using your Quirk to try and cheer him up. To put him under your control and make his mind dissociate, so that he won't have to feel the full intensity of his emotions right now. But doing that feels wrong, somehow. Especially if you don't have his explicit permission. In this moment, the most you can possibly do is keep on hugging him and make it abundantly clear just how much you believe in him, until he finally believes in himself.  

Still. It just isn't fair. What has Izuku done to deserve any of this? Is it really not enough that people like Katsuki keep tormenting him? Why is he now forced to watch his biggest role model turn his back on him?  

You are only fourteen years old, but you're realizing just how incredibly shitty life can be for some people.  

“I’m okay,” Izuku insists, although his expression is practically blank by now. “I’m really okay, [Name]. You don’t need to worry.”  

You smile weakly. “I know you are. Because you will become a hero. Today’s just been rough. Tomorrow will be better. I promise.”  

You refuse to let go of his hand while you walk. Part of you is worried that once you do, you might lose him forever. You fear that he might finally succumb to all the pressure and give up on his dream. Give up on everything.  

As it just so happens, though, life presents you with an opportunity. You hear loud chatter and spot a crowd of people gathered together. It doesn't take long for you to realize that all those people are probably watching heroes go head-to-head with a villain, and so, you pull Izuku in their direction, hoping that it will reignite the flame inside him that is on the verge of being snuffed.  

“Look, Izuku,” you beam. “I wonder who’s fighting today? Let’s watch the heroes kick some villain butt!”  

He's dragging his feet and looks visibly unenthusiastic, but old habits are hard to quit. Even as dejected as he is right now, he still can't stop himself from following you. It makes you hopeful that despite everything All Might said to him, he's still determined to do what he always dreamed of. 

It was your intention to lift his spirits, but in the process of pulling him along, you end up doing the exact opposite.  

There he is again—the slime villain that attacked the two of you earlier. But it just doesn't make any sense. You know for a fact that All Might captured him. Does that mean that he must have escaped at some point?  

“It’s my fault,” Izuku gasps, hurrying to clamp his palms over his mouth. “Oh god,” he breathes shakily, voice muffled. “All Might must have dropped him or something! If only I hadn’t been so selfish and just stayed out of his business!”  

You don't know what to say. Of course, you don't believe Izuku is to blame, but you are too petrified to say a damn word.  

Because the slime villain’s latest victim isn't just anyone—it's someone you know very, very well. 

Katsuki!  

He's struggling with all his might, desperately fighting to stay conscious and resist succumbing to the villain. Katsuki is strong. He has always been strong. Even so, that doesn't make him indestructible. And right now, as he struggles  to get enough air to even breathe, you can tell that he's terrified beyond words.  

You want to help. You really, really do, but your previous experience with the slime villain already proved that you're helpless to do a damn thing.  

More than anything, you're afraid of what might happen to you if you even try.  

Izuku, however, is different. Which is why, while you stand there, frozen stiff from fear, Izuku has already started running.  

You cry out to him, try to tell him that it's too dangerous, but he isn't listening. Despite being Quirkless, you know that Izuku is already more of a hero than most people could ever hope to be. That's why he doesn't hesitate for a moment to try and save someone, even when all the odds are stacked against him.

His bravery and selfless nature are what manage to finally spur you onwards, but when you try to run after him, one of the heroes on site pulls you back. 

“Don’t!” he insists. “What that kid just did was incredibly reckless! You’re not going anywhere! You could get seriously hurt!”  

The hero holds you in place, and you thrash and try to break free, even though you aren't a match for his strength. All the while, Izuku is doing everything he can possibly think of to try and free Katsuki from the slime villain. He throws his backpack at him, frantically pulls and claws at the slime to try and give Katsuki enough room to breathe—just anything.  

He must be scared. So scared that he probably can't even think straight, but even so, he doesn't give up.  

As a result, he manages to move the heart of a man who was convinced he’d already reached his limit for the day.  

All Might appears out of nowhere, back in the broad, muscular state you're used to seeing him in. Blood is spewing out of his mouth, so you can tell that he's pushing himself beyond measure, but that's because he and Izuku are one and the same. When faced with someone who is in dire need of help, they both have a tendency to act first, and think later.  

With All Might on the scene, the slime villain doesn't last much longer. You look on with tears in your eyes, shoulders sagging from relief when Izuku and Katsuki are finally both rescued. The villain’s amorphous body has splattered all over the place from the pressure of All Might’s punch, and it's safe to say that he’s been immobilized for good.  

It's over. This hellish day has finally come to an end.  

“Oh, Izuku,” you whimper, rushing straight over and wrapping him in a hug. “You nearly gave me a heart attack! I was so scared of what might happen to you...”  

He chuckles weakly, blushing while he leans into your touch. “I-I’m okay. I know what I did was reckless, but... seeing Kacchan like that, I couldn’t possibly ignore him. His eyes looked they were pleading for help.”  

“No, you did the right thing,” you insist. “You bought Katsuki enough time for All Might to act. You might’ve even been the one that inspired him to do so. I wish I could’ve run to help right away, like you did... but I was too scared. I’ve clearly still got a long way to go.”  

“That’s giving me too much credit. I really couldn’t accomplish anything on my own...”  

You expect that Izuku will be praised for his bravery, but instead, he is met with nothing but reprimands from some of the other heroes who reacted to the crisis. They berate him for charging headfirst into danger, without any concern for his own well-being. You try to point out that if not for Izuku, Katsuki might have already been done in by the time All Might showed up, but they aren't having it.  

On the other hand, from what you can tell, Katsuki is being showered with praise. His explosion Quirk is incredibly powerful, and that, paired with his resilience and tough nature, has clearly made a strong impression on the pros. They're all amazed that he held out for so long against the slime villain, when most people would hardly have lasted a few minutes.  

Katsuki is amazing, no doubt about it, but there's no mistaking how afraid he looked back there. No matter how headstrong and fearless he tries to act, at heart, he's still only a fourteen-year-old boy. 

For that reason, you figure that what he needs most of all right now is not to be praised incessantly, but for someone to show him some genuine concern.  

You hug Izuku one last time, stand up, then begin walking in Katsuki’s direction. 

Unfortunately, you don't make it very far.  

“Stay back,” Katsuki grits out, the veins in his forehead threatening to burst. “I know what’s going on in that stupid head of yours. I can tell based on that goddamn pitying expression you have. Stay back before I get really fucking mad.”  

You want to show him that you care. Even if he is horrible to Izuku at times, especially earlier today, he's still your long-time friend. You doubt you'll ever lose the soft spot you have for him. Is it really too much to ask that he lets his guard down and accepts your consideration, for crying out loud?  

“Katsuki—”  

“No,” he spits. “Shut the fuck and march back to shitty Deku’s side. He’s the one you’re so obssesed with anyways.”  

You shamefully look down at your feet. It seems like it's pointless to even try. No matter what you do , no matter what Izuku does, Katsuki keeps interpreting it as an insult. Izuku just tried to save his life, and yet Katsuki is still glaring at him as though he’s somehow been wronged.  

None of it makes any sense, and it hurts  to feel like things will never go back to the way they used to be.  

Heeding Katsuki’s words, you trudge back over to Izuku. It's time to leave. It's been a long, incredibly tiring day, for you too, but Izuku especially. He needs to get some rest and put all of this behind him. 

Right before you leave the scene, Katsuki makes sure to glare viciously in your direction one last time.  

“I never asked you to help me, piece of trash Deku,” he grits out. “I didn’t need your help. Got it? In fact, I saved myself. You didn’t do a goddamn thing! So, don’t expect me to owe you or some shit. You seriously piss me the hell off. Stay out of my life from now on and mind your fucking business.”  

Neither you nor Izuku say anything in response. A rational-minded person would have said ‘thanks’, or even, ‘I really appreciated what you tried to do.’ But Katsuki is just too stuck in his ways. He's determined to always make things out to be negative. He refuses to ever acknowledge that even he needs help sometimes.  

Katsuki’s lack of gratitude just makes Izuku’s sacrifice that much more noble, because you know for a fact he didn't expect anything in return.  

“You really are amazing, Izuku.” You smile gently, reaching down to grab his hand again. “I mean, the fact that you tried to save Katsuki without even thinking twice about it, even after he hurt you earlier today and said all those horrible things. That’s exactly why I know you’ll become a hero. Most people wouldn’t have been able to save someone who’d bullied them for so many years.”  

Izuku stares down at your hand and admires the way your fingers are interlocked with his. Unless you're imagining it, he looks like he's feeling a bit better now. At the very least, his expression isn't hollow and lifeless anymore. Perhaps he's just relieved that Katsuki is safe, or maybe he feels a small sense of pride over his heroic feat earlier. You have no way of knowing for sure.  

The two of you walk in silence, and neither of you seems willing to let go of the other’s hand. Izuku still can't forget All Might’s words from earlier, and even though he tried to help his former friend, he knows that still isn't enough for him to become a hero. He realizes now that without a Quirk, it's nothing but a baseless dream.  

Still, he's comforted by the fact that you think he's amazing. Maybe he can strive to become a police officer, like All Might suggested. He can still save people that way, and as long as you are by his side, then... 

Perhaps that alone is enough.  

Of course, you are none the wiser as to what thoughts are going through Izuku’s head. You don't know just how much he's fixating on you and placing you on a pedestal, unintentionally relying on you as his sole source of motivation and happiness. It's never a good thing for any one person to depend wholly on another, and if not for All Might’s sudden appearance, Izuku might have fallen further into his obsessive thoughts.  

“All Might?!” Izuku cries out. “But... what are you doing here? I could’ve sworn you were surrounded by reporters back there...”  

“I gave them the slip,” All Might chuckles. “I’m still the Number One hero, you know. More importantly, I had some things I wanted to say. Or rather, some corrections regarding what I said earlier.”  

You cock a brow, and Izuku can't help but do the same. Well, he’s come all this way for a reason, so you suppose you have no choice but to hear him out. You just hope he won't say more depressing stuff that would completely crush Izuku’s soul.  

However, much to your surprise, All Might doubles back and basically retracts his previous words. He admits to being inspired by Izuku’s courage and willingness to help save his friend, despite being Quirkless. Unlike before, All Might has nothing but praise for him. He apologizes for having dismissed him so quickly and recognizes that Quirk or not, Izuku has the heart of a hero.  

“You can become a hero.”  

They're the same words you've repeated to Izuku for the past ten years, but hearing them from a hero like All Might is understandably more impactful. Izuku is so moved that he can't help but crumple to his knees, and even though he was already crying, this time, they are happy tears.

You wrap your arms around him. Overwhelmed by emotion, it doesn't take long for you to start crying too.

You would be lying if you said you expected to hear from him again today. After all, you didn't exactly leave things off on a good note. But you are a forgiving person by nature, and again, you can't find it in you to completely resent Katsuki, even after all the scummy things he’s already done.

Perhaps you shouldn’t keep giving him more chances, but you do it anyways.

It's very much like him not explain anything and stick to his stubbornness. Honestly, though, in light of recent news, you're in a really good mood. You thought for sure that today would suck all the way until the end, but it had actually been rather incredible. 

All Might has chosen Izuku as his successor, and he is going to pass his Quirk onto him.  

Your eyes nearly bulged out of your head when you heard him utter those words. You thought he was making things up just to screw with the both of you. But no, apparently All Might’s Quirk—One for All—is the type of Quirk that can be passed down from one person to the next. Izuku is going to have to train his butt off to get stronger, but if he succeeds, then he'll have a Quirk waiting for him. 

He isn't going to be Quirkless anymore, and the thought makes you so happy that you can hardly stop grinning.  

“What’s with that stupid look on your face?” Katsuki snaps. He's obviously peeved by how chipper you are, but unfortunately, you can't tell him why. All Might has sworn both you and Izuku to secrecy. One for All is purely confidential, and you aren't allowed to tell anyone, not even your own parents.  

Still, you physically can't wipe your smile off your face. Things are finally looking up for Izuku, and it's impossible to contain your excitement.  

“I watched a funny show earlier,” you brush off. “I can’t stop thinking about it. Anyways, what’s up? Why’d you call me out here?”  

For some reason, Katsuki glances away, unwilling to look you in the eye.  

“Deku didn’t save me,” he finally mutters. “I wanted to make sure you didn’t get any stupid ideas.”  

“Huh? Are you still on about that?”  

You blink repeatedly. He really is ridiculous. When is he going to realize that he's way too fixated on Izuku? It isn't healthy. Izuku is perfectly content to just do his own thing and be nice to everyone. Katsuki's the one who keeps going out of his way to harass him for no reason. Back when he was younger, he always used to say that Izuku was obsessed with him, but it's so clearly the other way around.  

Still, you're in a really good mood right now, and you refuse to let Katsuki put a damper on it.  

“Okay, Katsuki.” You nod patiently and smile. “Izuku didn’t save you, it’s true. All Might was the one who saved you. Izuku was worried about you, because you know that’s just how he is. He worries about everyone. But I know he isn’t the one who defeated the slime villain or anything, so can we please just put this past us?”  

Katsuki clenches his fists. “And I’m saying that he had no reason to worry about me, because I was just fucking fine! All he ever does is look down on me. It’s like he thinks I’m this weak-ass bitch, and he’s so much better than I am.”  

“No,” you frown. “Like I said, he worries about everyone, not just you. You’re not the exception, Katsuki. Some people tend to worry more than others. That’s just the kind of person he is. Just because you’re strong doesn’t mean people can’t worry about you. I don’t get why you think it’s such a bad thing. It shows that they care. It means that they value you. It doesn’t mean they think you’re below them.”  

“I don’t need anyone to worry about me—least of all a Quirkless weakling like him,” he spits.  

You really don't know what else to say. You're always running in circles with this guy. He's just too tied up in his flawed way of thinking. He believes that any sort of concern directed his way is automatically some form of mockery. You wish you could help him think more clearly, but you just don't know how. 

“I care about you, Katsuki. I care about you, and that means I worry too. Even though I know you’re so much stronger than I am. Don’t you see that it’s not about being strong or weak? I care about you because you’re important to me. It’s just that simple.”  

For just a moment, Katsuki’s eyes widen, and he looks like he's finally starting to understand.  

He raises your hopes, only to immediately dash them. 

“I’m important to you,” he swallows. He's thankful for the dark of night, otherwise you would’ve noticed that he's blushing right now. “You mean that, right?”  

“Of course I do,” you nod. “I’ve known you for so long. You’re still my friend.”  

Katsuki just stares at you, and there's something weirdly ominous about the way he does it, without so much as blinking once.  

“If I’m so important to you, then tell Deku you never want to see him again.”  

“What?”  

You can't help the gasp that leaves your lips. Seriously, what in the world is he on about now? There's no way you're ever going to do something like that. He's acting crazy.  

“You know that’s never going to happen,” you grimace. “Just stop it, Katsuki. If that’s your idea of a joke, it really isn’t funny.”  

Katsuki’s eyes are completely wide. “Who said I was joking? You’re the one who started running your mouth about how important I am to you and all that shit. So, I’m calling your bluff. If I was actually important to you, then you would cut that shitty nerd out of your life, because you know just how much he gets under my skin. Unless you’re saying he’s more important to you than I am.”  

Before you can even muster up a response, Katsuki has already stepped closer to you. He grabs you by the hand, except unlike whenever you hold Izuku’s hand, this sensation is far from pleasant. Actually, it even borders on painful, because of how hard he keeps squeezing your fingers.  

It hurts, and quite frankly, he's freaking you out.  

“There’s no way you think that fucking loser is better than me... right?” Katsuki insists. He refuses to let go of your hand, despite the fact that you keep trying to shake him off. Everything about him right now, from the tone of his voice to that unsettling look in his eyes, just reeks of desperation. He only ever seems to get this desperate whenever Izuku is involved.  

That's what you believe, however, the reality is slightly different. 

You and Izuku together—that is what makes Katsuki’s blood boil like no other.  

“Katsuki, I don’t think either of you is better or worse,” you try to explain. By now, you’ve given up on trying to push him away or make him let go of your hand. You just hope that you can get him to calm down. “Please, can you just stop this? I really want all three of us to be friends again. I hate how things turned out.”  

Perhaps one day, in the distant future, the situation would improve. But if you asked Katsuki right now, he would rather die than ever make amends with that shitty freckled nerd. He hates Izuku with every fiber of his being, and not only because he's Quirkless.  

Because he's stolen you from him.  

“You don’t give a fuck about me,” Katsuki chuckles dryly. “I doubt you ever did. Deku was the one you always made googly eyes at. Stop pretending like you want anything to do with me. That kind of fake shit makes me sick to my goddamn stomach.”

You try to protest, but he's already walking away. He steps inside his house and slams the door shut, not even bothering to glance back in your direction.  

Katsuki is gone, and you are left outside in the cold, completely alone. You raise your head and look up at the sky. It's so endlessly vast and dark. Not a single star is in sight. You know that they're out there, somewhere, hidden behind a black veil, but since you can't actually see them, it does little to comfort you.  

Whatever happiness you felt earlier was clearly destined to be short-lived. The day has ended on an awful note after all.

Enjoying the story so far? Read more on Quotev and Ao3!

⊱.⋅follow + post notifications on for story update announcements or join the author's discord!⋅.⊰

💌 main masterlist ♡ oneshot masterlist

[miss-yap-a-lot]

thoughts/analysis on alexis ness

so chapter 288 part 2 just dropped and... hoo boy. the reactions this chapter is getting are INSANE, mainly because when Kaiser tells ness to give up on soccer and we see this panel:

kaneshiro certified ness hater???

So everyone's kind of blowing up now, and for good reason: we FINALLY see Ness after such a long time... and Kaiser completely destroys the poor guy.

I feel like part of the reason why Ness is falling behind due to the the reaction Kaiser and isagi are creating is because of his ego, even though he's 100% got the skill (ranked #2 in bastard munchen, if i remember correctly). His ego, however, is severely lacking.

In his backstory, we see that Ness was constantly belittled and ignored by his family due to his belief in magic. When he sees someone playing soccer for the first time, it's like a switch turns on in his head and he realizes that he can make magic through playing soccer, hence why he becomes so fixated on the sport.

So at tryouts, he's getting his ass kicked and suddenly sees kaiser, who asks him "do you believe in the impossible?"

until then, Ness hadn't met anyone who believed in the impossible like him before, so Kaiser easily becomes Ness' whole world. And Kaiser is doing this knowingly- he found the (mentally) weakest player and brought hope to him, making him incredibly loyal.

here, Ness doesn't really have an ego: he just wants to make magic appear in his world. he doesn't care if it's on his own or not. He sees how powerless his magic is against the other players who are better than him in teamwork and realizes he needs someone else to help him achieve his dream. Ness doesn't really have an ego; he just wants to create magic through soccer. And right now, he can only do so with Kaiser.

I don't think Kaiser was the ONLY person who made Ness into the total doormat he is now, but rather the combined forces of his family AND Kaiser's abuse and manipulation were the reason why he's like this now. If Ness was mentally stronger, I highly doubt Kaiser would have approached him in the first place to "team up."

There's lots of discussion online whether Kaiser and ness' relationship is genuine and codependent or one of pure exploitation. whichever one people think it is, the point still stands that they depend on each other- Kaiser to "connect" with his teammates (I use that term loosely in the sense that he needs at least one ally on the field), and Ness to create the magic he so desperately wants.

Enter Isagi: Kaiser realizes that he doesn't need Ness anymore- there's someone out there who understands him better as a talented learner, someone who will push him to his limits in a way Ness never has. So he tells ness to stop following him around because he has no more use for him, realizing that he's not benefiting from this relationship anymore.

HOWEVER, because Ness' ego is still in the ditches, he hangs on to Kaiser anyway because he still believes Kaiser will help him create his magic.

This is apparent in the newest chapter. ness is so preoccupied with finding kaiser and passing to him that karasu immediately steals the ball from him.

The reaction isagi and kaiser are making now is leaving ness completely behind.

I feel like it's incredibly likely that in future chapters, Ness will come to realize that he doesn't need Kaiser any more than kaiser needs him and that he can make his own impossible happen, with or without kaiser. This will (hopefully!) lead to the awakening of his own ego which has been out of reach for so long due to kaiser "blocking" it and making him so dependent on him.

something really interesting to note is that ness is one of the few characters who's featured who is a midfielder, not a striker, so i'm very excited to see how kaneshiro handles this!

But really, if Ness awakens this will be due to Isagi showing up, which means... will Ness join Isagi's harem??? 😱😱

[ddollfface]

Just a Little Bit of Affection

Cuddling Headcanons for Baki Men

Warning; I would say that there's none here! Overall, it's just fluffy! Although reader is fem, or was written with a girl in mind, so keep that in mind, sorry :/

Kiyosumi Katou

Don’t let this man fool you because he will act all macho and snarky when you’re around other people, but the moment you guys are alone, it’s like a whole new man appeared. I like to think that he’s a little touch starved, liking to have the touch of his lover when he sleeps. Being a fighter doesn’t leave much room for weakness, or soft things like cuddling, he takes this to the extreme and will act like a little brat whenever in public. 

He puts up this facade of this big strong man, which he is, who doesn’t need someone by his side, all he needs is his two fists and a strong opponent. Once you’ve gotten through those thick walls, the trust issues, and the strong ego, you’re met with a man who’s really sweet. I think that he really is a good person, but he’s just misunderstood; aren’t we all? 

Now, that we’re past that, what is he like when he’s comfortable with you? Well, well, I’m glad you asked because this boy’s got a tight grip. Even though you’re in a special place in his heart, he still has a certain, borderline toxic, view of masculinity, and he’s avidly against being the little spoon. He’s the man! He should be the one holding onto you! And that he will. He’ll wrap his strong arms around your figure, likely pressing your face into his chest or keeping you from looking at his face, can’t have you seeing his flushed cheeks, can we? Overall, he’s not much of a cuddler, preferring to move around, but he’ll dabble in a cuddle or two when he’s got a beer and some game playing in the background. Katou will drap his arm over the back of the couch, letting you rest your head on his chest, while his other hand cradles a beer bottle. It’s comfortable, and it’s silent. It’s like his self-care kinda, chilling with his hot girlfriend while watching his favorite sport/game/show/etc.

Hanma Jack

Another man who doesn’t cuddle too much, especially at the beginning of your relationship. He’s not a big fan of just sitting around, instead, he wants to be working, improving, just something, anything really (that sounds like ADHD if you ask me lol). He’s not necessarily opposed to it or anything, it’s just he gets restless, but nonetheless, I think he’d like to please you. If you really want him to cuddle, then he’ll oblige for you. He’ll huff and puff, grumbling under his breath as he lies on his back, the only way he can really cuddle. You’ll be lying on his chest, running your fingers across his pec mindlessly as you just soak in his presence. 

Although I don’t think that Jack talks much, especially around other people, he does enjoy ranting to you. You’re his special someone, his lover, and likely the first and only person he’ll ever have a real relationship with. Don’t get me wrong, he’s fine with that, but that just makes you all the more special to him. He sees you like his other half in a sense, and that’s why he’s far more comfortable just speaking freely to you. And that is why he’ll rant to you about some recent fight he had, or how this one bugger wouldn’t stop staring at him, or even any future plans he has to get strong, better, to defeat his father. 

He trusts you with his heart, so it’s easy to spill this information as he cards his fingers through your hair, calming himself as your hearts follow a matching beat. It feels a little euphoric to Jack, and that’s why he thinks that sometimes, just sometimes, he can get behind an occasional cuddle. He’ll admit… They’re beginning to grow on him.

Hanma Baki

Oh boy, this guy is a cuddler for sure. I follow the narrative that Baki has mommy issues. I mean, how can he not?? Just look at him, mommy issues are just oozing out of him! Anyway, I’m continuing this narrative. 

He for sure wants to lay on top of you, his ear pressed to your chest, just wanting to listen to every thump of your heart. In an odd way, it’s calming, and it eases his own mind. He really can’t help it! Baki finds comfort in your warm presence, in the way your fingers brush through his messy hair, or how you softly scratch the back of his neck with your nails. Everything about it is like Heaven to him, and so, whenever he’s back from a fight, he’ll just flop on top of you.

Don’t be fooled by his baby face and cheeky grin, he’s a troublemaker, and will in fact not get off of you until he is pleased. Being clingy, he doesn’t want to part with you once he gets comfortable, and this cuddling session will only end on his terms. What do you mean you have homework to do? Ew, why would you want to do homework rather than cuddle with your cute boyfriend? Do you not love him or something? How can you be sooooo cruel!

Yeah… He can be a little dramatic, but that’s the appeal, I suppose. Although he prefers to be the little spoon, that doesn’t mean that he can’t enjoy being the big spoon. If he so happens to feel like holding you, or if you’re in need of some comfort, he’ll wrap his arms around your waist, pulling you into his lap. With your legs wrapped around his waist, he’ll coo at you, teasingly pressing kisses to your temple as he questions what’s got you so upset… Tell him a name, and he’ll handle it! Don’t worry, babe, you’ve got the best boyfriend in the world! And he’ll handle everything, just give him the word. 

Hanayama Kaoru

Likes having you sit on his lap while he does paperwork. Being an oyabun for the yakuza means lots and lots of paperwork, Karou doesn’t mind it, but you sure do; is it crazy that you want to spend time with your lover? No, it’s not, so the only real solution is to spend time while he’s doing paperwork. 

You’ll lay your head on his shoulder, arms wrapped around his neck, while one of his large hands rubs soothing circles on your lower back. It’s peaceful. The only sound is the scrapping of his pencil and the sounds of your breathing. I think that quality time would be one of Kaoru's love languages, but being that he doesn’t have much time, cuddling like this is a good alternative. It makes him feel normal, not something he strives for, but nice nonetheless. 

Kaoru, like Jack, isn’t much of a talker, not even to you. He’s never been a man of many words, preferring to use his actions to show his thoughts, whether it be his fists or presents left on your bed. Either way, you’ll get the message. The way he’s gentle with you, holding you with the uttermost care he can, acting as if you’re porcelain. In a way, you kinda are, especially in his hands, hands meant for violence and bloodshed. 

Although he’d like to spoon you to sleep, this man sleeps like a brick and prefers to sleep on his back. I also don’t think you’d want him to spoon you… The moment he falls asleep, you’re never getting him off you until he’s awake again. This man is heavy, so if you have to go to the restroom or just get up to go to work, then you’re going to have to just wait until he’s awake lol. That doesn’t mean he minds you cuddling up to him. He’ll let you hug his side, lay on top of him, or attempt to spoon him. He doesn’t care too much as it doesn’t disrupt his sleep, so do as you wish. 

Matsumoto Kozue

Oh my Lord, she’s such a sweetheart! I love Kozue, even though she can be a little dense sometimes. I think she’d be a little shy to ask for cuddles and such, but embarrassment wouldn’t stop her from asking. I also think that she’d prefer to be the little spoon, wanting to be pressed against your chest as you two talk about your day. 

She’d go on and on about her classmates, what they said, any drama, or the cute bakery she saw on the way home from school… Maybe you guys should go there sometime? Kozue would like to face you when cuddling, liking the eye contact that comes with it. Her hand cupped your face as you lean your cheek against her palm, smiling at each other like two teenagers in love. Mindlessly, she’d braid your hair or brush it, all depending on your hair type ofc. I think she’d DIE if you were to start messing with her hair, loving how it feels like a massage as your nails rub her scalp. It’s a nice way to relax after school.

Although she loves to get dolled up and go out on the town, roaming from bakery to bakery and the park, she also doesn’t mind just cozying up at home. I think Kozue would enjoy a small movie marathon, watching different reality shows and romcoms! Your shoulders pressed against each other as you lean against one another, maybe her face in the crook of your neck, just enjoying each other’s warmth. It’s her favorite way to fall asleep, sometimes it feels like she’s in a dream...

Kaiou Retsu

Sigh, he’s such a virgin, and he acts like one. Good God, this guy cannot be romantic with you without feeling his face grow warm, and his cheeks catch on fire. He can be romantic, but that’s only after he’s practiced his script in the mirror around… a hundred times? Possibly more depending on the situation. He really can’t help it, you make Retsu’s heart swell, and his head go fuzzy like you’re Smokin’ Joe for God’s sake!

Nonetheless, Retsu is a natural caretaker. He enjoys making you feel at home, giving you a space where you can be yourself. It’s his love style, after all. While he’s not a natural cuddler himself, as he’s far too tense to be one, he’ll try his best if it means that you’re happy. Retsu’s goal in life is to be a partner you can be proud of, someone you would come to when in need. 

That’s how he got here: your head in his lap while you both watch some older action movie that involves martial arts. These are the only movies Retsu will ever watch because he likes to critique them… He finds it pleasant, to feel your chest rise and fall as you smush your cheek against his hardened thigh. Although a little embarrassing, he ignores the clench of his heart in favor of the texture of your hair.

This is a little side thing, but if you have some form of curly hair, that you need to detangle or have some long, strenuous routine, then Retsu is more than happy to do it for you! All you have to do is sit between his legs while he applies whatever butter oils, creams, leave-ins, etc., you use. He enjoys doing these things for you, and it’s even more rewarding when you praise him for the good job he did. If you have 4A, 4B, or 4C type hair, where you usually wear protective styles like braid, twists, etc., then he’ll also learn how to braid your hair, just to take the responsibility off of you. 

Although it’ll take him a while to get the hang of it, he’ll try for you. Retsu understands the pain hair can be (have you seen his luscious locks???). Though something that he’d surprisingly enjoy would be you brushing out his own hair, doing whatever type of braids you know for fun. He’d never ask directly, and he’d be farrr too embarrassed to do so, but he’d never refuse if you offered (hint, hint).

Orochi Katsumi

Oh boy, we have another cuddle bug here, and he has twice the confidence and half the self-awareness as Baki. In just day-to-day life, Katsumi is touchy, always wanting to have a hand on you and be by your side, no matter what. Although he’s pretty busy, he does try to make it up when he is around. But unlike Hanayama, you are likely, or may, work with him at the dojo, seeing as it’s not a dangerous line of work like Hanayama’s. 

Of course, this gives you guys wayyy more time to see each other, but even then it’s not enough for Katsumi. That means the moment you close the door and settle back into your shared home, he’s all over you, making up all the time he could’ve been lovin’ you up! He’ll run his hands down your sides, pressing his nose to your collar as you sway side-to-side. Katsumi doesn’t want to let you go, but he relents as he swings you over his shoulder, letting out a mischievous cackle when you squeal. 

There is where he’ll set you down on your shared bed with a bright grin, his eyes crinkling as you swat his shoulder, making a snide remark. Maybe you guys will watch a movie, or you might just gossip about one of Katsumi’s students, or even play some board/video games if you’re into that! Really, he just wants to spend quality time with you and have you snuggled into his side. 

Though I do think that Katsumi gets restless a lot, but he doesn’t want the loving to end, so he’ll just adjust your positioning. Sometimes you’ll be lying on his chest, resting your cheek against his peck as you rambled about your current interests or your friend’s drama with her own boyfriend, to which Katsumi gives the funniest remarks. 

This is a side thing, but if you’re anything like me, then you like to talk a lot. And I think that Katsumi would be a really good listener, in the sense that he’s not like Hanayama, who just nods his head or hums, instead, he’s giving you feedback, engaging with what you say. Things like “she said what?!” or “I would’ve punched him then and there!” Small things like that, that really add to the conversation and make it a lot funner (don’t come at me, I know it’s not a real word). And I think that during ya’ll’s quality time, a lot of this back and forth would be happening.

Overall, Katsumi is a real sweetheart who just wants to be around you, even if it’s just lying in silence. However, that silence doesn’t last long because he’s a natural yapper.

Biscuit Olivia

Big boys who like to lay on top of you >>>> Even though he's far bigger than you, Olivia still enjoys cuddling with his head pressed into your chest, and arms wrapped around your waist. And we’ve got another guy who’s very busy, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t give you attention! 

For the sake of conversation, we’ll just say that Maria (my love) doesn’t exist, even though I’m interested in writing about that relationship dynamic. Whatever, for most of the day, Olivia is out hunting down criminals, roaming around the prison, or doing whatever Mr. Unchained does during the day, but when he returns to his special place, he doesn’t waste any time getting to you. There’s a set routine the two of you have gotten. 

Olivia, exactly at 18:30 PM, will knock on your shared, bedroom door, bouquet of your favorite flowers in hand and dressed in a suit. Of course, knowing your routine, you’ll be dressed in whatever you deem fancy, and greet Olivia by leaning on the door and a pleased smile. He’ll lean down, and you’ll kiss his cheek, standing on your tippy-toes, and he’ll put his arm out. Getting the hint, you’ll intertwine yours with his, taking the flowers in the other. Olivia will take you for dinner, sometimes it’s in the prison, and other times it’s somewhere else. You guys will chat for hours, usually ending at 22:00-ish. 

This is where the actual cuddling comes in lol, he’ll swoop you off your feet, carry you back to your shared room, and lie you on the bed, both of you still dressed up. His arms will wrap around you, pressing his face to your chest as he mumbles on about how much he loves you, being classic Olivia. Your hands will massage his shoulders, giggling when he lets out pleased grumbles. Sometimes, it leads to sex, other times you both just slip into slumber, and you follow that pattern more days than not.

Pickle

Cuddling is a foreign concept to Pickle, seeing as during his time, there was no one to cuddle. Back then, he was either hunting or lazing around, maybe causing meaningless trouble. There wasn’t much to do, so he had to entertain himself. But now that you are here, Pickle never gets bored! Thoughts of you fill his head constantly, he just finds you to be so entertaining!

You look so different than him, than the creatures of his time, well, your world looks so different. And Pickle is naturally curious, so he takes any chance he can to observe your body, trying to figure out how you’re so soft. You’re so small compared to him, and he finds it to be oddly funny.

He finds it horribly frustrating that he cannot say what he’s thinking, unable to verbalize it in a way that you’d understand, so he has to be creative with how he communicates. A lot of the time, it comes in the form of physical affection. I’ve touched on this topic before in this post (you should check it out, wink wink). He likes to be close to you because it means security for your safety. He still has the survival instincts that so many of us have lost, due to the advancements of society. Pickle is constantly on alert, so he likes to have you as close as physically possible.

Whatever the arrangement is, Pickle will curl around you, liking to have his nose pressed against your neck. Every once and a while, he’ll nip at your skin, an odd attempt to claim you. Though that’s only if he gets bored enough lol. Pickle will have you in a death hug of sorts, making it so you cannot get away from him and run off. Whatever it is, let’s just say that you’ll be stuck there for a while… At least, until Pickle gets bored.

Jun Guevaru

Baby, this man will serenade himself into your sheets, wooing your pants right off! Now, for Jun, I think that cuddles will lead to sex more times than not, but that doesn't mean all the time. If you're not in the mood, then he's perfectly fine rubbing your back as you guys lay together in bed. And because he's dramatic, he'll coo soft, romantic words into your ear the whole time.

Telling you that you're the love of his life, how you're so beautiful, and that he's oh-so lucky to have a lady such as yourself as his lover. He's very much a romantic at heart. Jun loves just lazing around with you, seeing as he doesn't have many days to do so. I mean, running a country is hard work! He can't be sitting in bed all day, no matter how much he wants to.

Similar to Hanayama, he likes to have you on his lap as close to him as physically possible. This means that you’re dragged to meetings (does he have those???), but if I’m being honest, I have no idea what Jun would be doing in his day-to-day lol. I imagine that it’s a lot of sailing and talking to people, likely stealing shit from the government/s. Although Jun doesn’t want you near any danger, so a lot of the times, you’re in his cabin or in the cafeteria (if ships have those).

Anyway, I’m getting off-track, the point is that he’s not necessarily around you, so those small moments where it’s just you and him (lunchtime, in the early morning, and at night), he’ll make the most of it. During lunch, he’ll pull you into his lap and tease you, begging you to feed him whatever food you’ve made. One hand on your waist, while the other is on your thigh, rubbing down to your knee as he looks at you with the most love and admiration you’ve ever seen a man have. 

Of course, you’ll relent and hand feeds him the dish, feeling a little flushed and embarrassed at how he’ll moan at the taste, praising your talent (no matter how bad of a cook you are). At night/in the morning, he’ll pull you close, feeling you up a bit before he has to get ready for the day. I do think that Jun loves getting ready with you in the mornings. Whatever routine you have, no matter how long or short, he wants to be a part of it. It feels oh-so domestic, and it makes his heart all warm and fluffy. Well, being around you in general makes him feel that way, but nonetheless. He enjoys the lazy mornings when he has to roll out of bed, you following after. Sometimes he’ll dance with you, in the kitchen, singing some shanty you’ve grown used to. 

Although it’s a little different that you’re life before, and Jun can be a little much sometimes, you can’t help but smile as Jun pulls you into a dip, kissing the corner of your lips with a cheeky grin. 

[pickleskisser]

spade anon back again

i was wondering if you had any headcannons about what it be like to sleep with the boys (not in THAT way but like, actually sleeping) which ones cuddle? which ones would much rather not?

HIII omfg this took longer than usual cause,,, school,,, break,,, but i got it done now!!! even threw in an additional Charles section ;p

Sleeping habits with the band + Charles Offdensen

Nathan Explosion

A cuddler. I have no proof it's just a gut feeling.

He's a diehard big spoon though. He thrives off looking down and seeing his s/o there in his arms...

Christ he's such a sap under those layers upon layers of brutal bullshit.

He's a guy who likes routine too. So, once you've slept with him enough it's a pattern he relies on your presence.

Spoiler: you better have a good reason if you're skipping out on nightly cuddles.

Overall a big teddy bear he's a cutie.

Pickles the Drummer

This guy is all over the place. A complete mess if you will.

Your nightly routines consist of making sure he's in bed, first of all.

He has a tendency of just passing out wherever. It's not too awful but about once a week you're going to have to hunt him down and find him face down in his own vomit in a hallway.

Due to this his s/o will grow a subconscious habit of a night time self care routine? Of sorts?

Getting him decently clean before bed just kinda becomes a thing.

And yknow what. He appreciates it!

He loves being doted on.

I think he cuddles but not a big Spooner.

He likes laying on his partner's chest or vice versa.

It's nice listening to your heartbeat, it's soothing. And on the flipside having you lay on him is like having a weighted blanket.

It's the shit for him!

Skwisgaar Swigelf

While I'm not the biggest believer of the whole Skwisgaar having like a 100 step self-care routine.

I do think he has one.

Just nothing insane. He does care on a small level. But one expensive face wash with benzol peroxide and a face mask every now and then is about it.

And you are absolutely being dragged into this. He holds his self image to a high standard and you are a part of that.

Now the actual issue is getting him to bed.

Sometimes he gets too caught up in his composing and practicing he neglects some basics to self preservation.

Just gently remind him it's good for him and to his benefit and you can get him to give in without much struggle. Mostly.

Sometimes he's adverse to touch. Nothing personal it's just a lot to him sometimes.

But he always need to be facing you in bed. If anything you need to be the last thing he sees before he shuts off his mind.

Toki Wartooth

Do I even have to say it?

Cuddles. 10000%

He doesn't care how, just that he needs it.

He is also a man of routine but in the sense that he has rituals.

He does things a certain way, and in a certain order.

If you follow his routine with him he'll love you until the world combusts. But he also understands if you have your own thing, just don't disrupt his.

He also can't sleep without you and it deeply upsets him if you can't.

You will have to make up for it with LOTS of cuddles later.

William Murderface

personal headcanon alert.

I think he has insomnia.

Due to a mix of paranoia and night terrors he does not get a lot of sleep.

He can have periodic naps during the day but that's it.

Though once he's dating someone, like, actually dating someone, he tries to fix his sleep schedule.

Going to bed with him always starts with a movie, he needs the background noise.

He'll keep it on a low volume if it bothers you, but you can not make him give up his diy asmr.

He likes holding his partner, and I think their weight helps him calm down enough to try and rest.

That does not mean it always works though. But he enjoys you being their and humoring him nonetheless.

If you curl up with him for a nap though, you basically have his hand in marriage.

Charles Offdensen

His sleep schedule is garbage, but you best believe he's making sure you get your full 9 hours.

Obviously, he won't overstep. You are an adult and capable of making decisions and taking care of yourself.

But you may notice subtle nudges if you start slacking. Say you are busy with work at home, he might persuade you to take a five-minute breather. Come lay in the bed with him. No, he did not light a lavender candle, yes, the weighted blanket is necessary, of course he's going to massage his sweetheart's shoulders, don't look too deep into it.

Of course he is a massive hypocrite, and brushes all of his partners concern off when it comes to his habits.

That does not mean he is completely unable to reason with though, especially if they're wanting to go to bed with him.

When it comes to cuddling, he is neutral on it. If it's something you want, then sure.

He is a chronic back sleeper though, so spooning is rare, but he happily offers his chest as a pillow.

[felixcloud6288]

Dungeon Meshi Chapter 60

I think the story might be trying to subtly imply something when the chapter introducing the Winged Lion has a title image called "Monsters that steal your heart".

I have seen this Monty Python skit.

Good news. Laios did not try to fuck a minotaur.

Notice that the succubus Marcille's hair is loose just like Laios's shapeshifter Marcille. The databook on the shapeshifter incident said Marcille's appearance when she resurrected Falin left a strong impression on him, and it's still true at this point.

I've suggested that Laios might have romantic feelings for Marcille, but now I think it might be more accurate that he uses her as a template for what he would seek in a romantic partner.

It could be because she's stuck with him through everything even after he's shown his weirder interests. Or maybe it's because she cares about Falin just as much if not more than he does. Regardless, his subconscious has come to love something about her and uses her as a baseline for what he'd want in a romantic partner.

Also, his subconscious desire includes notes such as "Is a monster", "has multiple heads", and "They could turn me into a monster". Laios would love werewolf stories.

Laios and Marcille's sense of taste comes from the exact same place but it manifests in two completely different ways. They have a childlike obsession with certain design aesthetics and will add as much of that as possible if no one is around to stop them. The only difference is Marcille likes the romantic aesthetic so she'll pour tons of shine, sparkle, and roses into her design. Laios meanwhile likes monster aesthetics so he pours tons of claws, fangs, and teeth into his design.

Since this is a series about cooking, I think the most appropriate analogy is Marcille and Laios's aesthetic taste is akin to someone who only likes one specific flavor and insists on making everything taste like only that. But Marcille wants everything to taste sweet while Laios wants everything to taste spicy.

...

Writing "child" in the above section caused my brain to free-associate some things from earlier chapters that I wish it had done earlier. It would be more appropriate to append this to some other chapter, but I don't feel like searching for which one would be most appropriate.

I looked back at chapters 17 and 28 and compared Marcille and Falin in both of them. Judging by Falin's appearance, she probably started attending the magic academy when she was 10-12. And Marcille by comparison looks like a young teenager who started to hit her growth spurt. So chapter 17 would have been at least 10 years before the main story.

Chapter 28 is the first chapter where I can get a good side-by-side comparison between them in the present time. Falin is taller than Marcille and looks a little older, but they both still look the same relative age to each other.

So now I just need to know what elf growth is like. Everything so far has implied that all the human races age at rates proportional to their expected lifespans. Elves live about five times longer than Tallmen so elves age five times slower than them. So shouldn't Marcille look like she's 14 or 15 at this point?

Anyway, back to the chapter.

I wish I could see the succubus's thought process over how it approached Laios. It scanned his subconscious, approached him as Marcille, and when that didn't work it turned into GIGA HEPTA-HEAD MARCILLE.

Like, did the succubus see that form and think "I must have gotten something wrong. There's no way THIS is what would let me safely approach the target." And when normal Marcille doesn't work, it realized that actually yes, that is what would let it safely approach Laios.

Laios mentioned Marcille is a scylla. In Greek mythology, Scylla is a specific monster first mentioned in the Odyssey. She and her counterpart Charybdis live on opposite sides of a strait and sailors passing through the strait are forced to deal with one of them when passing through it. Scylla was considered the safer option because while she might snatch and devour several of the sailors, she wasn't likely to try destroying the whole ship.

In Laios's mind, Izutsumi is perfect the way she is.

Imagine if these were a trio of other succubi who were playing wingman to the Marcille succubus. Like, what if this panel wasn't Laios's imagination? What if these three literally were standing in front of him when the Marcille succubus said it had transformed the others?

I bet Laios's favorite movie would be Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster.

You have to be a particular kind of idiot if an abstract concept given form feels the need to call you one. Like everyone else putting their faith in him, the winged lion may have realized it made a horrible mistake.

Laios and the Winged Lion are in the exact same empty space as Laios's nightmare from chapter 42. Laios's most faithful servant is even hanging out in the background.

I do think the Winged Lion is being genuine about why it likes Laios but there's more that it isn't telling him. It stated it is merely the power to fulfill the wish of the lord of the dungeon. But it's also actively trying to subvert Thistle. It has its own interests and agenda.

Laios's royal regalia is the same outfit he wore as a child in chapter 26.

Genuinely, I like this ideal world of Laios's. I'd love to see it become true and I got so swallowed into it that I had to actively remind myself that the Winged Lion should not be trusted.

Kui really likes to push the joke about the barometz.

I do have a morbid curiosity about what the fruit looks like when it transitions from a fetal to newborn state though. Does the outer fruit burst open when the lamb gets big enough?

Laios doesn't know how to articulate himself. The best he can do to express his desires is say he wants a world where humans live alongside monsters. But this ends up coming across as him being insane and wanting to make a kingdom of monsters.

Laios has always been the outcast and the "other" his whole life. What he really wants is to make a world of unity where every culture, every race, and every species coexists and there is no "other".

What he wants is a world where everyone, no matter their background, race, culture, etc can share a meal together.

This is the first double-page spread in the series.

Well we now know why Kensuke was able to open that door on the sixth floor. Maybe it was made by Thistle to keep intruders out of the deepest levels, and only his power could unlock it. But since his power draws from the Winged Lion, anyone could unlock the door if the Winged Lion permitted them. More proof that the Winged Lion is actively able and willing to defy its master.

Again, Laios doesn't know how to express his thoughts. All he can say about why he liked his dream is that everyone was fine eating monsters. But really, he liked it because everyone accepted each other and everything. And being fine with eating monsters adds to it. In his ideal world, monsters are not these dirty, unclean things that need to be expelled from human society. There is no divide between human society and nature. Instead, humans are an equal part of nature and they accept monsters as part of their lives.

Maybe if he could say that, Kabru wouldn't have such a negative opinion of him.

That doria looks amazing and I'd love to try it. And this is coming from someone who hates shrimp.

That chat at the end really shows that disgust is arbitrary. Marcille was grossed out at the idea of eating bug larvae or horse brain but then said she's eaten fish testicles.

back

[autistic-caden]

what the HELL is romance

I genuinely mean that. I've never understood the concept of dating. What's the difference between romantic and platonic affection? Where is the line drawn?

If you go out to dinner with your partner, it's a romantic date. But friends go out to eat together all the time, with only two of them. It's not romantic if they're friends. Why not? It's the exact same thing, with different labels. Two people eat dinner, alone together at some restaurant. The only thing that seperates them is that the former are in an "official" relationship.

When you have a crush on someone, you want to get to know them and you want to spend extra time with them. When you want to be good friends with someone, you want to get to know them and you want to spend extra time with them. Is the line drawn at sexuality? Is it because you'd only have sex with a partner?

There's no way it's like that. So many people value the romantic aspects of relationships and don't care for the sexual, which means there has to be something else special about it. But what even are the romantic aspects? To me, it sounds like they're the same as friendly gestures, but with a different label. Is it kissing? I doubt people would go so far as to create a new genre of relationship just for kissing.

My theory is that people value romantic relationships because of the limitation. You can have many friends, but (for whatever reason) you can't have more than one partner. It's special because only one person in the world can give you this relationship at a time. But that theory falls apart when you put polyamorous people into the equation. If romance is special because it's limited to one, what do poly people find valuable in relationships? Everyone in the relationship deeply cares about the others, but more than their close friend/s? From what I've seen, the only difference between mono and poly people when it comes to romance is that the polyamorous can have more than two in their relationship. I've seen no difference in their actual feelings towards romance.

My old therapist tried explaining once (great therapist btw). According to him, romantic relationships are a layer above close platonic relationships. A special bond is shared, you care about them more than anyone else, and you do things you wouldn't do with a friend... That makes no sense to me. I wouldn't put anyone above my best friend, and I have a bond with her without it being romantic. Also, loads of people care about friends more than they do partners.

I've tried dating before. I mistook my strong platonic feelings for him as romantic, when really I don't even know what romantic feelings are. While we were dating, I subconsciously saw us as best friends but with a different label. We hung out, spent lots of time together, called it romantic, and kissed sometimes. But I didn't feel anything when we kissed. Our relationship wasn't on a higher level than my other platonic relationships, and the bond I felt was no different than with my best friend. I'm still friends with the guy I dated, and I think it's better like that. There are less confusing feelings this way.

I'm not particularly upset that I don't understand this. I'm not meant to know everything about the world (although that would be cool), and it's okay that some things leave me confused. This extra level of relationship just seems complicated and unnecessary, anyways. But sometimes romance seems to be all anyone is talking about. Listening to people talk about their love lives makes me feel alien; I wish I could relate.

[paragonrobits]

to be fair, the likes of Nightcrawler and Beast still have 'ostracized by society and unable to live normal lives because they're obviously Not Regular Humans' is still a core part of their characters!

So the first thought I got about this is that this IS the Marvel universe, the same setting where authorities regularly create and send out robots speciifcally created to genocide mutants and mutant-adjacent people and the public at large generally doesn't care. It's quite possible that monsterfucker demographic is LOWER than in real life, because its an actual possible thing and widespread discrimination against obviously nonhumans means its possible that fewer people will admit to being into it.

The second bit is, lets say the monsterfucker demographic IS the same as in real life; the biggest issue I can see popping up is actually applying those feeligns to someone you meet in real life MIGHT not be a best case scenario. The Thing is a walking monster made of living stone and explicitly is bizarre and ugly looking; that might be enough to get a lot of people to be unable to overcome their revulsion, even if in theory they'd be attracted to a monster-looking creature.

But let's say that doesn't happen! They're still attracted to him.

That doesn't mean he'd feel good about it, I think?

Ben Grimm's character is heavily based around his internalized feelings of rejection and monstrosity; he canonically hid his heritage for YEARS because he thought being a prominent Jewish man with such a monstrous appearance would only inflame antisemitic violence and rhetoric, more extreme versions of him are shown to be very literally self-destructive, and his character is deeply based around him feeling like a monster despite being the most heroic guy around. He's noble, honest and always goes the extra mile to save someone in need, but he still feels like a freak.

Compounding this is the fact that he can't really live a normal life, even without any rejection happening from others. His manual dexterity is severely limited due to the shape of his fingers, he sometimes has extremely limited sense of touch (which can throw off a LOT of sensory stuff), and sometimes his strength is hard to control, making him struggle to open a door and accidentally break it as he loses patience, leaving him to mournfully grumble about what's the point of bein' the strongest if ya can't even OPEN A DOOR without breaking it and owing someone money over it?

but I think the biggest issue is monsterfuckers being a big part of his demographic in-universe would make him feel worse?

something like, him being resentful or upset that they ONLY find him attractive for his grotesque appearance, and being found attractive over something you can't stand in yourself is usually something that sets people off, and he is already established as going the extra mile to find something to feel doubtful and self-critical over.

Ben Grimm's whole thing about being shunned by society wouldn't work in a modern Fantastic Four adaptation.

Like if the Thing debuted in the modern day, it wouldn't even take a day for a million monsterfuckers to publicly proclaim their thirst for the guy.

[alongtidesoflight]

i swear my stepdad is so illogical AND stubborn it hurts

[thebirdandhersong]

in my you're on your own kid era again (I never left)