#it would be cheaper to just pay even like 100$ to actually keep it

[fur-sure-suits]

Hi. I’m not dead lol

I’ve been trying to 3d model some armor for my hippogryph suit, but the modeling program I’m using (zbrush core mini) wants me to pay a fucking subscription fee to import the fursuits head base into the program so I can use it as a base. So I actually know the dimensions of what I’m fucking working on. Importing should be a basic fucking feature for ANY COMPUTER PROGRAM. And if you can’t tell, I hate subscription services. (I’m tempted to put services in quotes)

Also one of the locking magnets in my printers ams keeps coming loose. So I’m going to have to buy a new part. On a printer I’ve had for four days 🙃

So my creative process is kinda slow rn. Ugh

So I’m still around, I’m trying to work on projects in the studio, but keeping motivation is really hard with all these minor obstacles -__-

Honestly I have some animal minifigures/toys that I’ve been meaning to paint just for fun, so I might do that until that new part comes (and to take a break from printing

[dvandom]

Let's talk about tariffs

One way or another, we're getting more of them soon, so it's a good idea to spread the word regarding how they work. Note, this is a simplified explanation without nuance, but nuance is the sort of thing that you gotta be rich to exploit in this case.

Here's the basics: a tariff is a tax assessed at the point of import, and paid by the importer. Tariffs always make prices go up.

Say a company orders a bunch of stuff that would otherwise cost them $100 each. Adding on their other business expenses, they will sell each for $150, with some but not all of that extra $50 being profit. Let's say at most $20 of it is profit.

Now a 20% tariff is applied, and the company has to pay $120 each. If they want to keep selling them for $150, that will eliminate their profit and might even require selling the things at a loss. So they have to raise the price. Maybe they only raise it to $160 rather than $170, but they gotta make a profit or they get bought out by venture capitalists and gutted.

The original supplier could lower their price too, but again there's only so much they can drop before they're losing money on the deal too.

Why would a supplier even want to do this? Well, let's say that the domestic competition can supply the thing to retailers for $115. The foreign supplier can stay competitive by dropping their cost by a few bucks, so that after the tariff is applied they cost $114, or even $115 but sell it on the grounds of the retailer already having advertised their version. Small, targeted tariffs can coerce foreign suppliers into taking a cut to their profits. But even in this case, no one's going to be buying $150 products on the shelf anymore, it's just that both foreign and domestic versions will be $160-165. The price has gone up a little. Maybe not the full 20% of the tariff, but a noticeable amount.

That was the sort of tariff we mostly have right now, in 2024. We're also ignoring the fact that things are so interconnected that there may not BE a purely domestic version of a particular thing, just companies with completely foreign production versus those who buy all the parts abroad and assemble them domestically. In that case, everyone's getting hit by the tariffs.

However, the "I Love Tariffs" incoming President has threatened things like 100% or higher. This is the sort of tariff you apply when your goal is to protect a domestic company and to hell with the consumers. (Actually banning imports or setting quotas can also do this, but it's harder to enforce. IIRC, Japan has import restrictions on rice so that they don't completely outsource their food supply.)

A 100% tariff means that in the example above, it now costs the importer $200 to pay for each of the things in their order, so even if nothing else changes they'd have to charge $250 each to get the same amount of profit (and a smaller profit MARGIN). Does this mean they'll just go buy the $115 domestic version? Well, they'd like to, but now the domestic version is $160 or $180, because the domestic companies can just crank up their profit margins while staying cheaper than the alternative. Domestic companies are not driven by a desire to serve the public, they're legally required to make as much money as they can (this is a big problem lately, stockholders can sue if they think a company is passing up on profits). Thus, when punitive tariffs raise the price of imports to stupid levels, domestic suppliers (even those who miraculously have their entire supply chain within the country) will run up the price too.

All of this money will come from consumers and go into the pockets of the government. Do you trust the incoming administration to spend this windfall on helping the people hammered by massive spikes in inflation? I sure don't.

[alex51324]

Another good one from Vox about the upcoming Trump Tariffs, and what they might mean for your near-future spending.

The first thing to understand is that tariffs absolutely do not do what Trump thinks they do. Trump has pitched tariffs as a way to lower prices, which is simply...wrong. He also seems to be under the impression that tariffs are a way to make foreign companies pay taxes to the United States. That is also wrong.

A tariff is a tax on imported goods. The usual reason for imposing a tariff is to protect domestic production from being undercut by cheaper imported goods--if Domestic Company A can produce widgets for $10 a dozen, but Foreign Company B can do it for $8 a dozen, you impose a 20% widget tariff, and Company A and Company B's widgets both end up on the domestic market at the same price. That way, Company A has no particular reason to move their widget factory to another country where it might be cheaper to operate, thus keeping jobs, wages, and prices at the current level.

Economists debate whether tariffs are actually a good way to achieve these goals; however, even if we assume it does, you can probably see a few problems. First, and most obviously, lowering prices is nowhere in the definition of what people who really like tariffs say that they do. On the contrary, they are intended to prevent prices from dropping due to cheaper imports, and they do that because the tariff is paid not by the foreign manufacturer, but by the domestic distributor, who typically passes that cost directly to the consumer.

Second, if we were going to use tariffs to support American manufacturing, it would have been a good idea to do that back when there was some American manufacturing left to protect. Like around the time Trump was in kindergarten, would have been a great time to start. Even 1980 might not have been too late.

If--and this is a big if--heavy tariffs on imported goods are maintained for a long time, it could happen that tariffs eventually slowly start to bring manufacturing, and manufacturing jobs, back to the US. It could happen.

But if it did, it would take a lot longer than four years. And what happens in the meantime, is that prices on everything we import will skyrocket. And what we import includes most of our clothing, electronics, household items, large appliances, small appliances, cars, children's toys--just about anything you can name. And a fair bit of our food. (We also export a lot of food, so unless climate change wallops us real hard in the next few years, we don't have to worry a whole lot about actual food shortages, but it will not be surprising if we see higher prices and less selection as a result of tariffs, let alone other policies that Trump has discussed.) While Trump has been (of course) light on policy specifics, some numbers he's floated are 10-20% tariffs on imported goods in general, rising to 60% on Chinese goods, and 100% on imports from Mexico.

Some sources are suggesting that, since tariffs are such a completely boneheaded idea that will not do any of the things Trump claims to believe* they will do, surely someone will manage to explain this in a way that he can understand, before he actually imposes them. The author of the Vox article above thinks that's unlikely, and that having made such a big deal about tariffs on the campaign trail, Trump will charge ahead with them anyway. I don't know.

However, the point is, if you're thinking about a major purchase, you might want to do that before January 20. Especially if it's something where the manufacturing is concentrated in China, like laptops, phones, that kind of thing. According to the article, the Consumer Technology Association is saying prices in that category could go up as much as 40%, if Trump follows through on what he's floated.

And he might not! We simply do not know. However, my laptop has started doing that thing where you have to wiggle the charging cable to get it to connect; in the before-times, I'd figure I have a few months before I really have to worry about it, but as things are, I'm keeping an eye on the Black Friday sales.

(*There's some speculation that what Trump actually wants to do is weaken China's economy, which happens to be something that Putin would like to see. Another possibility is that he has some idea about reducing America's reliance on/relationships with other countries, as a way of furthering some goal of his. Or maybe he just wants to start selling Trump-branded phones, IDK.)

[supercantaloupe]

okay don giovanni review from last night. under the cut bc it's me. tldr the vocal performances were great, leporello carried the show, one of the most insane productions i've seen thus far but somehow in a new bizarre direction from normal. good snacks.

first of all i don't care how much wine you offer i think it's kind of ridiculous to charge $165 for a base ticket price for a performance that 1. isn't even in a concert hall or theater 2. is a concert performance rather than a staged performance (which was not advertised ahead of time) and 3. was not even a full production because they made the absolutely mind boggling decision to cut 100% of the recitative and replace it with Some Guy sitting on the stage narrating the plot between every 1-3 numbers

i did not pay that much gd bless. the student ticket was way cheaper.

the narration wasn't even good it was weirdly ungenerous to the women (like how do you even make elvira out be a "women, amirite" thing and also vaguely imply anna was into it in a production with zero acting? well they figured something out) and i don't think it even explained well enough what happens between each number to truly give a first time watcher a good idea of what's actually going on. not to mention that it absolutely kills any sense of momentum in the plot and makes the entire show drag like hell, because you have to wait between every single aria for either Some Guy to talk at you for three minutes straight, or wait awkwardly while people onstage walk off and people offstage walk on. it was so painfully clunky

they had a piano up there but since there was no recit it's not like she was accompanying much of anything. in practice what it ended up being used for was 1. the mandolin part for deh vieni (acceptable in the absence of a mandolin player; they were working with a limited chamber ensemble of musicians so i get it) 2. the party music at the end of act i (egregious fault imo because it absolutely kills the vibe of the scene and completely obfuscates the way the music is supposed to be adding to the tension and chaos with its different instrumental groups playing in different meters)

and 3. used to give singers their notes when the vocal line of their arias start on beat 1 measure 1, which they otherwise would have been able to get from the preceding recits (which is imo painfully amateurish for an ostensibly professional production)

all the numbers in act i were there although the narration was so bad i got jumpscared by fin ch'han dal vino because i forgot it was supposed to be there and thought we had skipped over that point in the plot. act ii had some really bizarre additional cuts made, notably they just entirely skipped over meta di voi and vedrai carino. it was like masetto and zerlina fuck off for the entirety of act ii save for, like, mille torbidi (they VERY briefly mentioned masetto getting beat up in the narration and i don't think they mentioned vedrai carino at all, they just skipped straight from deh vieni to sola sola. and also there was a painful awkward pause before deh vieni because i think the pianist forgot she was supposed to play there and the narrator jumped ahead to the next chunk of plot explanation too early). kept both dalla and tesoro (i'm fine with this ottavio was quite good though could've used a bit of ornamentation imo), kept mi tradi, kept non mi dir (more on that in a bit). no per queste which is probably a good thing not only for the show itself but also my head would have absolutely and irreversibly exploded if they had, probably

the whole thing kind of felt underrehearsed. like a quarter of the time it seemed like people didn't know what they were doing or had to be reminded where to be at that point in the show. and there were a few moments throughout where the orchestra struggled to keep up with the singers, but i really don't think they had much time to rehearse together, honestly.

and then, to my utter shock, the finale was actually really good?? like. insane compared to the rest of the show thus far. though it helps that 1. i absolutely love the harmonieband arrangements of cosa rara/i litiganti/non piu andrai, after possibly the draggiest non mi dir i've yet experienced it was like a breath of fresh air to hear that (and non mi dir was actually well performed i liked this anna but considering how much the Entire Show was dragging, the fact that they cut meta di voi and vedrai carino, AND the fact that they promised this act would be short, it felt crazy to me to keep it at that point.)

2. leporello and the don were by far the best performers of the night. so much so that i sought them out during the post show reception to tell them how great they were and enjoyed their performance. which i usually do not do, but in this like, high school recital ass production value. unbelievable relief that the final scene is dominated by the two actors in the show who most remembered that they can, and in fact Should, be acting. so much more movement and physicality and expression from those two compared to most everyone else. leporello especially, his actor apparently specializes in comedic bass roles and it shows, he was the standout all night

and 3. for the first time in the entire production they made an interesting decision regarding the physical space and staging! they had the commendatore sing from up on a balcony overlooking the audience in the foyer. the bar admittedly was set very low in the previous act and a half but the finale reminded me that i actually like this show again which is appreciated

though they then threw another curveball at me by Cutting the sextet at the end. which like didn't even piss me off at that point i was just baffled. like the don sinks down in agony and leporello sinks down whimpering in fear and the orchestra cuts off. and i'm expecting an awkward pause while they quietly get up and shuffle off so the rest of the cast can come back but nope. big orange title slate appears on the big screen behind them and the audience breaks into a roaring applause and the announcement of the wine and dessert reception. felt like i was in a fever dream

i will say the desserts were very nearly almost worth the bullshit that was the preceding show. they were so good. thank you austria for your dedication to pastry. and because i don't drink and couldn't appreciate the free wine offered i had to indulge in my own manner. spread contained chocolate oat bites (tasted as much like espresso powder as chocolate and coated in coconut, 4/10), almond sponge cake (classic, 7/10), cardamom apple bread pudding with caramel cream (not enough cardamom but otherwise very tasty and autumnal, 8.5/10) and honey cake (11/10. i don't know how they made this so good. i want more right now so much). i take both my mozart opera and my desserts very seriously.

anyway overall the production was. i would say frustrating. the singing quality was Really Good (leporello was the clear standout, probably followed by the don though i prefer my dons with a lighter voice but technically he was very good, then probably ottavio, then maybe masetto or anna. the commendatore was great but he's in it so little it's hard to compare)

i just wish they could have, like, actually done a full production. it would have been so great if they had gotten to tell the actual story and had been fully allowed to act. when there Was acting were the best moments of the show, and it's really unsurprising that most of that came from leporello, the absolute legend.

[chettercheese-the-fnaf-lover]

Idea 3: Pizzaplex is an engineering disaster waiting to happen.

An idea that I don't see brought up at all, is the idea that the Pizzaplex is not constructed well.

Remember in FNAF 6 when the tutorial unit said this?

"There may be times when you purchase something of questionable quality, and we don't blame you. Cutting corners is just good business."

Keep this statement in mind while I bring up my next point. As someone who's taken an engineering class, when you are constructing a building, there are a VERY large number of codes (rules) that you need to follow for every conceivable part of it.

Fazbear Entertainment would probably find it a lot cheaper just to pay off the people inspecting the plex than to actually put money into making sure everything is up to code.

They would also try to construct the building as cheaply as possible, trying to "cut corners" wherever they could. They use substandard materials and contractors that don't double-check their work. They built the mall itself over the subterranean remains of their old restaurant, despite this making the ground very unstable.

This all works in my mind because Fazbear Entertainment has been proven to follow the "be as cheap as possible" and "maximize profits by any means necessary" approaches many times in the past.

Here is just one example of a code being violated, according to Section 1006.2.1.1 of Utah Building Codes, "Three exits or exit access doorways shall be provided from any space with an occupant load of 501 to 1,000. Four exits or exit access doorways shall be provided from any space with an occupant load greater than 1,000." We only see 2 public exits in the game, and the Pizzaplex likely holds well over a thousand people at any one time. What's worse is that one of the exits, the only one designated for emergencies, requires a VIP pass in order to be used.

If Fazbear Entertainment is willing to do this to cut costs, who knows what else they have done?

It's why, in my mind, I don't have Gregory live at the pizzaplex after the 3-star ending. Freddy would calculate that it is statistically safer for Gregory to live in his box than at the plex. He instead lives with Vanessa, creating opportunities for them to grow closer.

BTW This has happened in real life, even down to the shoddy construction and profit maximization. It was the Sampoong Department store collapse. Link

DUUUUDE I REMEBER TALKING TO MY GIRLFRIEND ABOUT THIS- in the tales of the pizza plex there was a rumer that it was built over some sort of sink whole but i'm 100% sure it's actually built over the fnaf pizza sim location or maybe even THE FUCKING SISTER LOCATION LOCATION BECAUSE OF THE SCOOPER IN THE RUIN DLC i will die on that hill lol

[lys-9-10]

When you realize you did not understand your own fanfic at the time of writing it.

This is both a humbling and extremely satisfying realization... About a year ago, I wrote "No Strings Attached," a Les Mis fanfic in which Grantaire essentially shows Éponine that friends don't keep tallies of favours. But here's the thing. At the time of writing it, I 100% kept favour tallies with my friends. If I paid for a friend's meal and they said they'd pay for the next one, but the one they paid for was $5 cheaper ... I would notice. And feel resentful. And it's not even like I was writing this fic b/c I knew favour tallying was something I struggled with, and therefore wanted to ruminate on that theme. Nah. The incongruence/hypocrisy just didn't occur to me (Which I find so baffling now). It's only recently, as I made a couple new remarkable friends, that I experienced what NOT tallying favours looks like. Before Halloween, we were all working on our costumes together, and I remember marveling over way we would just ask each other for things and/or offer things, without expecting anything to be repaid: "I'm heading to the mall, want me to look around for your flowered shirt?"

"I'm at Walmart, anyone need something?" - "Yes pls pick me up a large bottle of white glue."

"I have a brown leather bag you can cut up for your wand handle." "Anyone got beads, white paint, and chopsticks?" etc It sounds so, so dumb ... like, who would worry about repaying beads, white paint, and chopsticks? Who would worry about being repaid for a bottle of glue? But believe me -- prior to these 2 ppl, I would. So ... I guess I'm feeling grateful for these 2 friends, who taught me what my fanfic actually means.

[nickgerlich]

Back To Size...Again

I laughed yesterday when I read another installment of the “Size Matters” debate. Earlier this week we read about how some people were “disappointed” that the Burger King Whopper in photos was not anywhere near as big as the ones being served.

And now comes an interesting retail debate being played out between JC Penney and Macy’s, both time-honored participants in the effort to keep Americans clothed and their homes filled with housewares. Both chains have suffered through some very tough times this century, with both shuttering numerous storefronts.

Interestingly JC Penney was acquired in 2020 by what may appear as strange bedfellows, competing major mall owners Simon Property Group and Brookfield. The duo just allowed Authentic Brands Group to buy a 17% stake in the company.Apparently the threesome thinks the JCP brand still has a lot of value.

But for Simon and Brookfield, though, buying Penneys ensured they would have at least one major tenant in their enclosed malls, a wobbly proposition if there has been one the last few decades. Even more intriguing is that, while Simon and Brookfield are up to their necks in retail, they actually don’t know anything about how to run a store.. They just know how to manage malls.

JC Penney is Middle America, though, and on par with another giant in the field, Kohls. Together, they provide affordable products to a huge portion of the US. But JCP has made one mistake after another, first ditching weekly sales in favor of EDLP (Everyday Low Prices), then reinstating the old model, and also being one of the first to offer their complete catalog on a Facebook page more than a decade ago. As forward-thinking as that was, we simply were not ready for it. Recently, JCP lost its beauty collaborator Sephora, who jumped ship and moved over to rival Kohls.

Penneys just announced they are putting $1 billion into operations and the customer experience, improving everything from the technology running it all, to supply chain matters and merchandising. They are trying hard under the new owners to pull out of bankruptcy, but revenues and profits are dropping fast. Rather than close more stores, they are doubling down. And, perhaps most importantly for this discussion, they are not going to shrink stores.

Macy’s just entered the chat, because they are doing the opposite. Instead of trying to operate massive mall anchor stores, they are going the downsize route, with pared-down storefronts now opening in strip malls. Rents are cheaper, and at least on paper, access is probably easier than having to deal with behemoth malls. Apparently they figure they can increase sales per square foot by focusing on best-selling products, and getting rid of the rest.

But the comparison ends abruptly there, because Macy’s is more on par with Dillards, and while these two also carry clothing and housewares, they are at very different price points compared to JCP as well as Kohls. If you like Thanksgiving parades, Macy’s is your pal. Well, as long as you are good with paying nearly $100 for a Polo shirt.

Given the inflation we have endured the last couple of years, as well as lingering fears that a recession is still right around the corner, consumers are delaying a lot of purchases as long as they can. Market uncertainties can make people do that, and any time we can kick the can down the road so to speak, it makes sense.

And that’s where JCP and Kohls look to have good upside potential. An uncertain economy means that people are more willing to trade down if they buy at all. The problem for JCP is achieving relevancy among its target customers, many of whom have allowed the name to slip from top-of-mind to out-of-mind. It is teetering on the same dowdy image that Sears acquired by selling clothing that my dearly departed old aunt would wear. That’s not a good look, unless you are 80.

The opportunity is there for JCP, though, especially given the economic uncertainties. The fact that its ownership group is investing $1 billion is extremely good fortune for a company that would have otherwise become another entry in the book of dead retail chains. It’s just that this money must be spent wisely, from a complete makeover in merchandising, to a fashion-forward digital presence as well. That’s not to say it needs to mimic F21 or H&M, but it does need to work on its coolness factor.

I have been to the Amarillo Penneys store in the last few years, and all I can say is that it is a train wreck. It was a little more than two years ago when I last visited, and I walked out in disgust, it was that bad. Merch was strewn all over, garments were hanging haphazardly, stockouts were rampant, and it looked like nobody gave a sh*t. At that point, I did not either.

Sure, being owned by mall owners is a lot like being owned by the government. You’re probably not going to fail. It’s also a mutually beneficial relationship. Here’s to the new Macy’s on its way to a smaller footprint across America, and to JCP with its continued format. May they both find their way through the morass of today’s economy.

Dr “With Or Without Me” Gerlich

Audio Blog

[literaticat]

Hey Jenn. If a writer went on to Amazon and bought like 100 copies of their own book to distribute to friends/family or just to keep in case it goes out of print - are they doing anything wrong? What if they bought a crazier number - like 1,000 copies? Would the publisher find out or would it stay anonymous/Amazon (or whatever bookshop) sale? Would you be accused of trying to inflate sales numbers? Are you required or obligated to buy direct from publisher instead? What if cheaper online?

If an author did that, they would not be doing anything wrong per se -- but they also wouldn't really be helping themselves.

First because if you really just wanted a bunch of extra copies, most of the time, publishers offer authors a special discount (generally 50% off, sometimes more! check your contract!) -- these books don't count toward royalties and are meant to be for personal use, not to be re-sold. But if giving them away or hoarding them is what you want to do, that's probably a better option than buying from a bookstore.

Second, if your goal was actually to "inflate sales", you'd be losing a lot of money, because while ordering a bunch from the bookstore WOULD give you royalties, you'd be paying a great deal more than you'd possibly earn, even if the books were discounted. And giant orders from one store are typically flagged as "bulk sales" which don't count toward the NYT or anything, so like -- what's the end-game?

(If you really REALLY wanted to inflate sales for NYT purposes, you'd have to be crafty and order some copies from LOTS of bookstores. However, you'd likely need to buy four to ten thousand or more in one week to affect the NYT, anyway, depending on the category, sooooo.... uh it just doesn't seem like a great use of your money, or time for that matter!)

[sludgedyke]

@lavendermanna

1) CORRECT, it was intended as the successor to cassette tapes, and as a more portable companion to CD, as tapes were to vinyl records, in a way. all the convenience of tapes and CDs in one package :3

2) ebay and Japanese proxy shopping! with some luck you can find a recorder in decent shape on ebay for an okay price (I shoot for about $100 or less when possible) and $50 or less for playback only models like the one in my post. I've also used a proxy service for yahoo! Japan auctions called buyee.jp because you can usually find players bundled with accessories (in-line remote, charging dock, battery sidecar) in good shape for a decent price as well. highly recommend budgeting for that though bc Japanese sellers love to over-pack orders which is nice for keeping ur order safe but the package dimensions + weight are used to calculate shipping so you may end up paying more than you would expect (shout out to the seller who sent me a Nintendo switch cart by itself inside of a massive box and a huge bundle of bubble wrap. fuck you dude this could've been an envelope 🖕) anyways I think NetMD is worth it for getting into minidisc bc it's so easy and quick but they tend to be a bit more expensive than pre-NetMD recorders because of their popularity. on the plus side this also means you can find an older recorder for cheaper than NetMD devices. oh and avoid most Location:Japan listings in ebay bc chances are they're just relisting a yahoo Japan auction item they don't even have, for twice as much as you'd be likely to pay if you bought it from Yahoo auctions urself.

3) so there's actually two methods for recording discs, one is live dubbing, which is to say connecting a recorder to the audio source with either analog line-in connection or a digital TOSLINK cable (or a 3.5mm jack microphone on some models) OR later model recorders that have a feature called NetMD in which you can plug in through USB and upload your tracks. it used to be a proprietary software but some enthusiasts have reverse engineered their own program accessible through Chrome based browsers (rare Firefox L) that allow you to upload music even easier. I use a usb-c to mini usb cable and the web app installed on my Android phone to burn most of my discs when I don't feel like doing a live recording just bc it's way faster. live recording can be a vibe though, I love recording my record collection so I can take them with me on the go :3

ebay search for MD recorders

buyee search for Net MD recorders

buyee search for MD players (only bc the players are much thinner and less scary to carry around than ur precious recorder. less wear and tear as well on ur recorder as well)

web minidisc pro (for recording through NetMD) and WMD guide to learn how to use it, and the rest of the wiki is useful for researching models while you shop

minidisc wiki discord and finally the official wiki discord! everyone's real friendly in here, come on in and join us sometime, there's tons of seasoned MD enthusiasts who are ready to help with any problem or question you could possibly have :)

[saemihaw]

a long venting I am feeling stressed

I have a mild fever again and am so so exhausted like last weekend and the weekend before I feel like I'm just tired little being.

I'm pretty sure I'm burning out again and also that makes me sick more often and I have stuff in my mind that's been making me just jfhfjhhgfh

Also I'm supposed to be looking for applying going back to study somewhere something but I am feeling so uncertain about everything and don't know what to do and I don't know who to talk to because I'm stubborn and stupid and don't want to tell anyone I'm struggling I barely could tell anyone before either before I had to and even still I didn't tell actually much shit because just ifkxufufhf

I guess I would want to go back studying? but also no. I don't want to keep working here but also I want to and feel like having this job is only safety I feel in my life right now I have no idea what I'm doing and am stressing because my younger sibling lives with me like I cannot fuck anything up right now

If I go back to studying where do I find the money do I need to get more student loan do I need to move to a cheaper house do I need to work while studying if I don't want or can't get more student loan I honestly have no fucking idea how real life is supposed to work like but I am here and my mother thought I'd be just fine so I'm like ok. I can handle everything myself but also don't know what the fuck I'm doing and I'm still trying to just accept that she basically just left me behind all of the sudden.

Also I myself told my sibling they can move in with me so they can go to the high school they want I am happy I did and they're thriving and has many friends here old and new and all. Like I do not want them to have to worry about anything and want them to be able to finish high school without too much stress so I absolutely do not want to have to move. So does that mean I should just keep working until they graduate. Also they're soon 18 so that's at least making me feel little less idk stressed but u know.

If I do go back to studying am I even really ready for it either like can I even get anything done what if I go back and immediately start failing classes and everything again and need to drop and what do I do then.

I cannot burnout now because if I cannot at least work I 100% would have to move.

I don't how I'd be moving either like who's going to be there to help I'd need to buy someone to move our stuff. that's stressful. I have moved like around 11 times in my life my family would almost always have a van to help do the moving but they don't anymore.

I mean I know my grandma would come help with packing and cleaning and moving and stuff and my dad probably helping to move stuff too? but they don't have a van anymore so if I payed someone to move our stuff they'd take care of carrying them too and stuff so there'd be no reason and just ugh.

What do you mean I'm adult not living with my family anymore and I'm supposed to know how stuff work.

I had dream where I was stressing about this and my sibling was like "Hey, can we not move until I graduate?" and I was just like yeah of course. and then cried over it alone or something.

Also had dream where I had bad panic attack in front of my mom and she did not care at all and just ignored and looked annoyed that's so fun. Yeah it's not like stuff that happened years ago still makes me cry and unable to breathe sometimes and feel alone and hurt and stuff😃

I have not been feeling well and I wish I could just cry to my mother and be like idk what the hell I'm doing and feel so tired and jfugihgg

I cannot. Or if I did I don't think that'd make me feel any better would probably end up feeling hurt someway and just worse and yay.

She was understanding when I said I was dropping out. She wasn't mad at all. But I don't remember her asking how I was doing either at all.

I was advised to take a some time for just myself and had enough money at to do so and then figure what to do next.

No one in my family told me to just you know, breathe for a moment or rest.

Just constantly saying how I needed to find a job right away or to apply studying somewhere again as soon as I could and I know it's because they care and want to know I you know have money and stuff but like.

I do not think anyone actually understood the part where I said I had to quit because of a burnout. Even though at was just one thing with all the other things I never even told like or I guess no one also either thought I could be affected by. you knowwwe. stufff

And it hurts because I'd want to tell or be able to tell but I do not feel safe doing so. How am I supposed to tell them about something I had to years try explain to them because of siblings struggling with them too and my parents being just awful about it all.

I had lot of panic attacks over it. I have still pretty regularly panic attacks and I also forget that's not quite normal.

Every time I cry and feel alone I think of all the times they'd ignore and get mad if someone was struggling and blame them and just honestly be mean and make it worse

When I miss my mother I think of the time she said she hates me and how not soon after she just leaves me. Even after promising me not long ago I could live with them as long as I felt I wanted or needed to

I think how I was crying out loud sobbing screaming in my pillow feeling scared and hurt and I didn't leave my house I had nightmares panic attacks just

how bad I was doing after suddenly she took my siblings and family and just leaving me and didn't even fucking text me.

I waited for a month once and she didn't directly contact me at all. Or wonder why she hadn't heard from me not worried at all not caring at all what the hell would I expect

the first time after long time she'd call me to ask if I could babysit my siblings for the weekend. no. not even really asking me but informing me she had promised them I could and it'd be good to inform me about it too like a week before or something.

Also asking if I could skip school on Monday because when would they have ever cared about my school.

ughhhh

I feel so alone sometimes.

I should reach out somewhere to talk again but how do I find the time for that when I'm just trying to work and get by and find energy to do other stuff too.

also then would I be told to take time off. If I do will I lose my job actually lmaooo ughh

Also I don't think I could study and work at the same time there's no way I could manage that

Do I just work here until my sibling graduates and see what then. I don't if they want to move on their own at one point.

Also my other younger sibling is already talking how they want to move studying back here too when they're older. They really miss living here and all and I'm like

Do I need to help them do that too like do I tell them to move in with me I don't think they otherwise can. Am I unfair if I don't since I did with my other sibling? Do I need to be the one helping them to idk go into the 'real world' and when they become adults.

I had to help my sibling learn how to cook and stuff when they moved with me and now they're actually much more capable of doing stuff than me and I'm like😭 sorry I don't know how you do that I need to try do better too I just don't know how you have the energy to do so much

I feel so streets and anxious and just tired and all I feel like I'm still being relied on so much and expected to be able to be independent and everything

Moving out of home was supposed to be the moment I could just live without having to worry about anyone but myself but somehow nothing has changed that much.

or they have

I'm a lot better not living there

but also I am so much worse

I don't fucking know

[randum-famdoms]

Been spending the day looking for things to try and remake my old Kaminari cosplay on a budget. I wanted to do either Reki from Sk8 or Akechi from p5 this year but both would require almost entirely new materials (and reki would require buying a skateboard because I do not do shit by halves).

I had so many PLANS for this shit. but noooooo I had to get in a car crash and destroy my annual cosplay budget. Of course. So instead, remaking Kaminari it is. He was my very first cosplay and holds a special place in my heart, and I was planning on redoing parts of him anyway so this is as good of an excuse as any.

regardless tho, shits still expensive. my old jeans no longer fit, and while i have a good shirt and a sweatshirt that would work, id been planning on buying a yellow and black varisty jacket and ironing lighting decals to the arms. buuut….. jeans and varisty jackets are both expensive. plus i need a new wig because my old one is a cheap amazon wig rather than an actual cosplay wig. and I need to keep this under $100 US.

id also wanted to pierce my ears for this because i found some really sick lightning dangle earrings, but uh. yeah that's nit happening on this budget. so i was like "okay, ear cuffs and clip ons it is!" but somehow all the nice ones are even MORE expensive than paying for both the piercing and earrings? like no joke, the combo of 2 cuffs i liked best are almost $100 by themselves! thats fucking insane!!! no hate to the sellers on etsu tho, they're handmade and I respect the craft.

Anyway, the wig will be $30, I found some cheaper earrings that I like (tho not as much) for ~$20, Lightning decals come out at $20 as well, coloured contacts are $18, jacket is $40, and new jeans are $20….

Yeah, something has to go. It’ll probably be the earrings, they’re just fun. But that still totals 128, and that isn’t even calcuating shipping and tax. I might nix the jeans, except I’ve been wanting some new ripped black jeans anyway. So it’s probably gonna be the jacket and decals, sadly. They would’ve looked so damn cool, but I can always save up to get them another time. Right now the wig and contacts are the most important things, mainly the wig tho cause the contacts won’t last forever. Who knows, maybe I’ll bite the bullet and go slightly over budget to get the jacket and decals plus wig and go without contacts.

Really I just felt like complaining. This isn’t important at all lol, but it brings me joy and I’ve been a bit lacking in that lately so realising that I can’t even afford to do what I was envisioning for my one cosplay this year kinda sucks. Regardless, I’m determined to make it look cool. I’ve had practice styling wigs now, and kaminari’s can’t be harder than Nagito.

[charity-angel]

My local hospital has a couple of bus routes that run past the main entrance. But their stops aren't actually near the entrance.

On top of that, the main entrance is a quarter-mile road with narrow footpaths and dropped/cut kerbs so steep they're impossible to navigate by wheelchair.

Any wheelchair user has to use the road itself. And, surprise, it's the main entrance of a hospital - that road is pretty busy.

Basically, no one with a mobility impairment of any kind can use public transport to get to the hospital. Parents with sick kids in prams or pushchairs, or who are sick themself but can't leave their child unattended while they go to an appointment, either risk life and limb, or can't use public transport.

The truly stupid thing is that there is a bus stop right at the actual entrance to the hospital building. It is only served by the free shuttle bus that runs between the three local hospitals. It does not stop anywhere other than those hospitals.

Why can the local services not take a tiny detour and use that stop? I mean, the next nearest hospital does that - there's about 10 different services stop there, and share the stop that the shuttle bus uses.

(Don't get me wrong, the disabled parking situation is equally comical, so it's not just public transport users they're discriminating against - it's all disabled people)

--

But that's not even the funniest part. My local hospital has what might be deemed fairly "normal" services. To see a neurologist or endocrinologist (to use my own personal examples), I have to go out of area. That out of area hospital is a 2 hour journey by bus (about 40 by car), and still, the bus doesn't go into the hospital grounds. In this case, the hospital is built in a dip, with the road running higher up. Much higher up. As in, my manual-wheelchair-using ass couldn't manage it.

There are buses I could change onto that do go into the grounds (I believe - never seen one), but do you know how much of a PITA it is just to get onto a bus as a wheelchair user? And how much you run the risk of there being another wheelchair user in the only space you can occupy?

Also, very much worth mentioning - in the UK, wheelchairs are not secured in any way to the bus floor. This isn't much of an issue for someone who uses a heavy power chair, but the rest of us have to cling on for dear life at every turn. And it's a VERY windy road from my town, over the Pennines, to the hospital. I actually have purchased some items to create tie-down points because riding the bus for any significant length of time is exhausting.

And the really, really fun part? Basically any testing my doctors want doing means I can't take my meds beforehand. And, like with diabetics, if I don't take my meds, I'm not legally allowed to drive. All the appointment letters cheerfully tell me I can drive afterwards, but gloss over the fact I can't drive myself TO the appointment.

And, of course, these appointments are really early in the morning (my meds literally keep me alive - they can't deprive me for too long), so the bus I'd have to catch to get there on time doesn't even exist.

And the really, really best part? Because I have to go out of area, I can't get the non-emergency ambulance transport I technically have the right to request, because it's across a regional ambulance service boundary too.

I'm well and truly screwed, every which way. I 100%, at almost 40, have to rely on my parents for transport to my appointments. I literally CANNOT get there without them.

(there are other life dramas associated with that particular thing, but they're not relevant here)

What if I didn't have that support? My literal only option would be a taxi, and who the heck can afford that? It's a 35 mile round trip, plus the waiting time where they can't take another fare. But paying for that wait time would definitely be cheaper than me having to pay for 70 miles of taxi trips (them going back to their home base, then another cab coming out to collect me).

And this is in the UK - the land of (mostly) free healthcare. I can't even imagine what this would be like in the US. I'd probably qualify for Medicare or Medicaid, and thus be luckier than some, but even so...

Cannot believe that it would take two hours, 30 minutes of which are spent walking, to get from my house to the physical therapy clinic on public transit and 13 minutes by car, with construction backups. Except I can believe that. Totally. Because our public transit is a fucking disgrace.

Even if I was willing to take two hours to get somewhere, I can't walk for half an hour so I can get to physical therapy for my fucked up ankles. That's insane.

No, not everyone has "the same 24 hours" and no, we don't need to make cars harder to get or more expensive to run.

When people talk about how it's harder for poor people to access medical care, this is part of it too.

Also, if you can't get to something like PT for pain relief, which your doctor wants to try before meds that actually help...wouldn't buying painkillers off the street seem a lot more reasonable? Like maybe it would be the only option?

I'm not in that situation but boy is it real.

[37-children-of-the-dreams]

Also, sorry I'm spaming you with it, but again, I'm sorry and I dont have anyone to share, just other fact, that when I messaged admin to tell him to delete my posts about selling things in one famous group, he said that I actually didnt done anything wrong and that I dont need to pay attention to all those fuckers, but main thing is, these dudes were doing same to everyone here as I searched, and they're like mafia, they're bosses and most famous dudes in local fandom, and if they joined your group, it would be honor, but problem is, they're awful people, and no one would do anything about it, and so admin understand that they're doing bad things, but because of them being bosses he can’t block them so his group wont get bad reputation and wont be in black list. I'm in black list of my local monsuno/bakugan fandom now, but now I'm actually happy about it. But they still messaging me trying to insult me even sometimes as buyers. And these figures, they werent ever sold by 300$ or even 100$, these bosses selling them to each other for 1$ but for everyone they make a lot of posts that they selling figures for 1000$. So, by the fact, these figures werent ever sold by such high price, but they just bully everyone and others under control of bosses too say to someone who wants it cheaper that it's impossible and they should kill themselves. So they just made no choice for anyone to find cheap figures for cheap, and so only people can do is to being mad at situation and when seeing same dudes like them bullying them that they have no chance of finding this figure at all.

And maybe some people see it too, and it would be help for them to know they're not alone and have understanding here, cause only we saw is bullying. And also, here, death threat is not reason for Police to do anything.

Well then… You keep your stuff and be glad you’re black listed from them because from what I can see, they might as well kill the fandom and also might be scalping stuff. Which would mean that the best way to destroy them is to not engage with them.

It’s wrong that scalping isn’t a crime since that can cause economical problems in the long run, but really just make them realize that if they can’t sell, they can’t get money.

Now, any chance you have a Demise toy? I don’t think I have the money, but I just want to know if you have one.

[terrykimura]

Today I found out: my expensive ISP is actually not expensive.

This is a long one.

I use Nuro 光, a "2 Gbps down!" Internet Service Provider that uses dark fiber cables to the home, not the nationwide Flet Hikari shared fiber optic infastructure that most other ISPs use for the last mile. I have a thing for voting with my wallet for ISPs (and cellular service, too) that don't impose a multi-year minimum contract period or egads, a multi-year renewed contract period that requires you to cancel the service in a specific ten-minute span every twenty-four (or, like, thirty-six) months to not incur a cancellation fee. Therefore, I opted for the expensivest Nuro 光 tier that imposed no minimum contract period, for 6,100 JPY a month (61 USD at the mental exchange rate 100 JPY per USD, or about fifteen cents with today's weak yen).

Up until then I was using a provider called enひかり https://enhikari.jp/ on the Flets Hikari fiber infrastructure that also imposed no minimum contract period, for 4,620 JPY per month (46.20 USD). I had nothing to complain about! I work at an Internet content delivery service company, though, and had taken an interest in trying out the fabled Nuro 光, so when we moved from Kanagawa to Hokkaido I took the opportunity to sign up for Nuro 光. There was no last mile infrastructure to my new house, though, so they had to spend four months setting it up, and four months of no Internet connectivity for a work-from-home content delivery engineer was problematic. So, I took enひかり with me when I moved, while waiting for Nuro 光 to finish stringing fiber to my building.

When Nuro 光 finally went live in my house, a comparison from the same computer connected to each Wi-Fi access point (the trusty enひかり on the left, and the new, fabled Nuro 光 (with 802.11ax, even!) on the right):

This made me very sad.

I ended up staying mostly on the enひかり connection for most of my Internet connectivity, both on and off work, though I had to keep the shitty 6,100JPY-per-month Nuro 光 contract because it comes with a 44,000 JPY (440 USD) construction works fee charged over the course of twenty-four months, the cost of which they also credit back to your bill to keep you from cancelling this no-minimum-contract-period service - the moment you cancel, the remaining credit disappears, and you need to pay the remainder of the construction works fee in a lump sum.

One day, on a hunch, I switched to Nuro 光 to test whether some internal tools I had trouble accessing through my company VPN on the enひかり connection would work through the same VPN connection on Nuro 光 (which would make no sense, from a network perspective). Lo and behold... they all worked just fine on Nuro 光. (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Later, household finances became tight enough that I had to get rid of one of the two ISPs. Nuro 光 the expensiver (and slower!) connection was the obvious choice... save for the fact that I kinda need access to those internal tools to do my job. The day I called to cancel enひかり was not a good day.

I initially signed up for Nuro 光 using kakaku.com, which comes with a cashback of a whopping 60,900 JPY after eleven months of use (although it looks like that particular campaign is now gone). I'd actually forgetten all about that cashback until five days ago, when the notification email arrived in my inbox and I went through the process to get the money into my bank account.

So today, I sat down to calculate actual cost for twenty-four months of use (to run down the clock on the construction works fee and the credit for the same amount), less the signup cashback bonus.

It comes out to just over 3,500 JPY per month, which is actually cheaper than enひかり was.

So, for the next thirteen months, I will continue using Nuro 光 with no reservations about the cost 🎉 I also need to set up a reminder to switch to another ISP in July, 2024.

[randomclam24]

Silent Hill 3

Every other Silent Hill game by the members of the original Team Silent has the combat, even on the hardest difficulty, so that as long as you take care to take the enemies one at a time, the most you have to learn is some precise timing. In Silent Hill 3, if you wanted to take that completionist approach, every little thing would have to be perfect.

Update

Well, based on how women are chameleons who will mold to whoever they're attached to at any given point in time, to the point that even a strong man that gets divorced will be called a racist bigot etc. and accused of raping the kids possibly, there's no meaningful source of will to go on but to admit that existence is not just ruled by but was literally generated from the darkness.

Any other way just doesn't make sense.

The overcoming of laziness is limited to evil, selfish intentions.

Update

The updating of posts is limited to the most recent post. That sucks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fwrz0-dnZIA - Imgur

That poll on whether people want shitposting is shadowbanned just like my imgur account was, and the Minecraft servers.

This is what you get when I drink even a little. Also, who honestly drinks light beer, for any purpose? That shit is basically backwash. It doesn't do anything.

You actually have to pay out of pocket for that. It isn't any cheaper.

Mountain Dew probably has a stronger effect by itself.

No, I'm going to avoid alcohol for a while, now that all that's gone.

So, now that that happened, what was it like? That was last night. There really is a sort of kaleidoscope vision overlay. It's many different round shapes of different shadings on top of each other. It was really heavy. Also, it's only just then, at that state, that I finally see exactly what they're talking about with the popping bubbles effect used to imply drunken cartoon characters. It wasn't really that bad, but I also wasn't moving.

Also, I have to disclaim that artist, because he's been called out as a Freemason now.

I don't have much to live for? Imagine things popping up here and there to get pushed back down underthumb. That might happen afresh now, but in the meantime, all that's going to proceed beyond conception stage is the steady collapse of the U.S. dollar and so forth.

I don't have much as a result of the alcohol experiment, but I know there are sweet spots that require more than any form of light beer. Look at that like drinking diet soda.

I have to come up with an estimate, because I know the highest sweet spot was somewhere close before the point of seeing color overlays. The latest batch was Captain Morgans, at 100 proof, 750mL each. I got it wrong before and thought it was 1L. 375mL raw alcohol

Basically, you can sum it up as, one of these sucked all the way down will get you to that point. (One of these is about $20)

Literally, 750mL of vodka won't do this.

It was honestly an active process keeping it down without vomiting.

The math shows Plantation overproof rum, which is all I could find overproof at only one of the Walmarts, is barely any cheaper per raw alcohol volume than a 30-pack of regular beer.

What I haven't done is the calorie total.

1 Captain Morgan - 17 servings at 122 calories = 2,074 calories

Busch at the same amount of raw alcohol at 150 calories per can = 3,686 calories

Plantation at the same amount of raw alcohol at 349 calories per 100 mL = 1,897 calories

I know I'm shadowbanned on the Internet, not from people directly linking, but from people leaving behind likes and comments in real life. But even then, I think the psychological effect of having curated amounts of likes and dislikes is absolutely working.

It's true it might not be curated per se, but that anyone redirected to there from here would be shadowbanned in that their viewcounts and responses wouldn't be recorded.

I'm actually just going to try to sleep as much as possible.

6/13

I did

I made it past the difficulty spike at the start of Doom episode four on Man and a Half in Project Brutality, with the Chaotic Random spawning preset, but I have a feeling about this mod. From past playthroughs with earlier versions, there are zoom features on a lot of the weapons which provide for better accuracy, and unless you're playing on the highest three difficulties, there isn't much reason to rely on these new functions.

6/14

It's one thing to prove something as an individual. But then proceeding to get up, each morning, and repeat said action with absolute certainty every single time is something completely outlandish in comparison. Trying to teach other people to do something right is completely unrelated to the original act of proving, because in that case you have *psychological* issues to deal with to get past, and I frankly don't deal in those. They're perpetual, the only part of this that is.

If the world really was a global village like everyone online likes to think it is, the world's problems could be solved by the means of simply proving things. But the only things that will make it on the scale of the world stage are the things that can be mass-produced to the lowest common denominator.

And I'm just thinking, at that point, who really cares? That's not what proving things is about.

Be realistic: the billions are going to drink light beer and be basic today. "Go fuck yourself" is what they tell me. They say if I don't, they'll call the police promptly, and they all have top-level sanpaku eyes to go with it.

I've been gangstalked for at least the majority of my life, building up to the point it's currently at. So I don't think those are "organic" expressions. Something artificially-rooted pulled them up to the surface like that, to be having them so consistently that you would be thinking top-level sanpaku eyes are a natural state of everyday living, which in my life it certainly is. Actually, I don't think I'm supposed to be saying that out where people can listen to it.

But even so, the modern philosophy is about self-pleasuring and reaching self-satisfaction. I am technically entitled to preconclusions that satisfy me pettily. I don't like these people.

Also, although there was the Biblical verse "render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's", when it comes down to the morality as universal laws, I just find that it's unclear whether people, be it today or in the original times because I just don't know, actually believe that "the Lord", as in landlords in the feudal times, is just providing petty-scale morality by which to stave off the hardships of greater nature. That seems to be the nature of moral guidelines which people today have, because they're holding their top-level sanpaku eyes expressions inside for that moment when you start to let slip their assumption believed to be held simply in common, it's such common knowledge, that the greater reality is just savagery plus meaninglessness superimposed, no less where it's objectively not applicable, just for its own sake.

This basically implies that the entire concept of "Lord" Biblically just renders a small creature protecting his lands from the higher powers that actually be in this universe, or whatever it is.

I always thought that the belief that human nature is inherently evil is what Satanists believe, in that they rely on this, when it's only applicable to people at their lowest, which is why that all comes down to what was referred to in the Bible as suffering the "lying in wait of the Jews". Common people today believe in the image of man at his lowest as the image of man in and of itself.

What I get for the nature of surveying I do on the Internet is fridge horror: every time a figure jumps ship, it happens in the form of expressing that *everyone* is jumping ship because it's so long overdue it hurts. This plays out when it's based on a falsehood.

Update

The Bible tries - *tried* - stating this: There is no power in Hell

The modern world holds just this religiously: There's no power in *God* - we're just looking past - in this emptiness, just what actually motivates this? There's no power in God.

I know. Just everyone looks past Christians. [This is the two paragraphs that got shadowban-deleted]

And then there's the endless self-powering rant about how they deserve this when they're so lukewarm and so people can't be blamed for that

There's no point in fame, when it comes down to it. When someone makes assumptions, that's it. What you get is *artificial.* It may as well not be a living thing. Leave the actual living thing to itself so it can actually live life instead of this box. This is fucking junk.

I guess I just have to sit here complaining about the fact that Qabbalah is the reason everyone has the most meaningful decisions in their life as a half-assed side measure. Because I fuck the Qabbalah up by being a spastic or whatever the real problem is, I can't stay out of the mental institution except by living in the mind of other people - correction: *and I *hate* that!*

Would I be less harmful if I just killed myself? The book of revelation references how this is destined to make people believe they're serving God, and it *is*, to the common person. I think you're wrong, but that doesn't make a difference, and here's the proof in the pudding: you have to *mass produce* to stimulate the actual whole world, and that means absolute garbage at the end of the line. You can't afford effortposting at every level. Not even remotely possible.

If I try saying something, the entire Biblical phrase "pearls before swine" I don't think suffices it - I don't think.

The way I talk is so sublimated, it's trannies who are finding me empowering, for all I know. Done.

I don't know what I'm doing.

God doesn't *love* us. He didn't make us with minds that would process. This platform is borderline meaningless.

For that, a lot of people today would just say there is no God and move on. Haven't I ever considered that?

Honestly my current presiding reason for religion: I talked about how you can't seriously talk about why Jesus rebuked the Pharisees and such. When you experience it, you know personally what is meant by "the lying in wait of the Jews" - that's not something that comes as reconcilable to our everyday lives - and you don't talk about that.

*That* issue is a matter of on or off - you *won't* see people talking about it in religious institutions.

I don't know why we *make* religious institutions - you do realize that takes a lot of money, right?

I guess human effort, like human lives, are considered disposable.

It comes down to the way every thing the religious leaders were saying to Jesus was, explicitly mentioned, intended to entrap him in his own words. That's part of the lying in wait of the Jews.

In fact I find it unrealistic that that went and happened, because when it comes down to it, there are plenty more situations where one can be entrapped in their own words without any of that being in truth, and yet this magically worked out. It's not a human set of matters, but ones magically strung together by "sky daddy". That's what everyone says.

It could have easily not worked out just by nature of the flawed medium of back-and-forth speaking, but instead they just said to hell with it and flipped the chess board and said here, let's just hard-rig this conversation up so it'll be cool, just like those Marvel comic books

Update

I don't think anyone out there really preaches

Update

The only "morality" I have, in common with these people whose worship is good feels, is that this platform isn't worth anything in that I have to still not get arrested, as usual - it's brutalistic, plain and simple, and then everyone is just going to nod it away like it's agreed when it is because it is - what the fuck?

I have to disavow Project Brutality against my own will because *some people* are interpreting it like that's pro-law-enforcement when it's *not*. People are obviously too stupid to see the light and will cheer for more kids in cages

Okay, so at this point I'm sold that my original take averting me from Halo is - at least in public perception, the reason I'm going to hate id software now as a whole. It's pro-police-state as its only veritable function, so that's bad

Update

I can't send a message without at least telling the viewer to off themselves "ironically". There are simply no words to work through this.

Update

Even with this platform, there's nothing that can be done except empower the already-in-power establishment. I refuse to do this for such a corrupt establishment. I'm going to be spending as much time sleeping as possible as a counter-statement to the hooligans owning up to this situation before I can even get a word in edgewise, like I'm not even here.

Update after dinner

No matter how much you think it goes without saying, "I" am not "Republicans", or "religious people" - I am a completely separate entity. All of those labels are do-nothing monsters in that they unconsciously call the Masonic police on people. Without me, the timeline would be severed. Maybe that doesn't matter *now*, but it's true. This would have never come out of them. I am a foreigner.

Is it because my family line moves from country to country based on catastrophic war events breaking out? I'm just assuming, the bloodlines of people who just live stationary would have never produced one of me, like those are a different breed. I hate being conflated with Republicans because as far as I'm concerned, they don't actually *produce* anything? They just sit as servile dogs to their masters.

I don't claim to understand them.

Update

Okay, so anything I say from my personal perspective will bite me in the ass in this political environment, since tensions have escalated so very high.

But, if you take the route of imitating exactly what the elites are supposedly already doing, you can't go wrong. I'm not saying I'm all for - I'm saying a depopulation agenda done selectively might just be an imperative for basic survival. It's so bad.

6/15

Today was my birthday. I convinced my mom to get a Captain Morgan for between me and my dad instead of the beers she proposed to him before. I found out from them that only mixing Coke as soda with this substance actually works flavor-wise.

Idiots appealing to religion over Project Brutality, it's the same thing as saying Back the Blue

This is the basis for my now supporting eugenics

Update

For a review, I'm going to watch 300 for the first time

6/16

Somehow, I see a connection between the the place I just naturally stopped at in Doom II's run of Project Brutality, which is Dead Simple, and the fact that George Soros's son, appointed as his legacy, just announced he's 100 times worse than his dad.

It was being taken as a very irresponsible statement, because it was really just being received by itself, as just in and of itself.

But in this context, it sounds less like a threat and more like a passive observation that if you proceed any further like this, you will make things a lot worse for yourself. Being an address to the forefront of the culture, it's more likely that's what it's talking about. They don't expect to do things aggressively; they expect right-wingers to take the first shot so they can do everything under the guise of defense.

Update

I recommend I Am the Painkiller difficulty

6/17

I'm still reviewing the different difficulties, but I decided that if a hub structure for the full intermission map of the shareware episode was made, it should be restricted to the highest difficulty. It has to have that tension for the atmosphere.

6/18

There was a thing with Quake's difficulties where people claim Hard is harder than Nightmare because it catches you off-guard. That may be the reasoning with why 12 / 10 difficulty feels harder.

Update

They hid the Captain Morgan after the amount my dad and I had for my birthday night. I eventually found it anyway.

Honestly, between the effects on voting, effectively diminishing the suffrage of our own for good, and the dating market, if it weren't for the women question, would Anonymous hate society as much? Serious question.

There are people advocating for monarchy just because they can't shake the assumption that Republics are going to be dominated by women's suffrage, like no matter what system you make to try to salvage, in *this* social climate, it's going to turn out the same. Really, really, really really makes you want to think, because if no one does, further extremism, down the line, is eventually going to be justified.

Also, quoting

"Prices go up when demand exceeds supply, I don’t know what anyone was thinking when they imported a bunch of demand..." (slur implied)

Also, Joe Biden's still in office

Before I had a great audience, I did a thing every day, imitating someone doing this for the eventual release of MGS V: The Phantom Pain, where if Obama wasn't out of office, I would give the daily countdown of how many were left

Also around 60% of the college population is now female, relevant as of 2021

I'm just saying, back in Roman times, which were ancient Biblical times compared to our times, people could just snap in that they could walk out en masse of working. Also, there was no gay standing around with signs. They just physically did it en masse.

Allegedly Super Monkey Ball will turn you into a man. I played it on Gameboy Advance.

And this just happened, posted to the main website

Sprinter on Twitter: "Military activity noted in the United States, the Internet is jammed everywhere footage of heavy military equipment driving through the streets of American cities, and swarms of drones flying in the sky. In 11 states of the country, serious interruptions in the Internet… https://t.co/SMMuOJUDgW" / Twitter

https://archive.is/z77GN

Update

I think I know what I really wanted out of this state of mild drunkenness that I couldn't figure out beforehand. Just hear me out real quick. When it comes down to events like this happening, that means the wheels are greased, or at least it appears in my mind, and I really don't want to think about the alternative to this. If things really happened as a regular occurrence, I would have love in my heart, and I do. But, comparing to Silent Hill 4 which got brought up from the YouTube influencing days, a situation where in truth there's no viable hope, no visible future, that makes way for unabashed hatred. What I felt that one time I got drunk and noted the Kanye lyric as relatable, "no one blames the plaintiff", underneath, *that's* how I meant it. That's why a bit later I had to come down saying I don't want to have to live making rabble-rousing for its own sake anymore. That's what I'm trying to refer to. That is something bottomless.

6/19

The episode four run on Man and a Half is finally done, and the run on Last Man on Earth has finally made it to the second episode.

Update

I thought only Hoover1979's Ultra HD textures for Doom looked good as replacements to the original textures. That only works on an outdated version of GZDoom, while Project Brutality only works on a more recent version.

Update

Well, I still think the West is doomed.

Most of the situation I think comes down to what I've heard about from Common Filth about how people in less densely populated areas have nothing to do and will just turn to drugs.

Update

I didn't know what else to do, so I threw in some Warioland II in its black-and-white form.

Now I shifted back to the 12 / 10 difficulty run.

Update

The Man and a Half run is probably the more important - that is already in Doom II

Update

Today, out of nowhere, I have energy to support myself into standing position without it feeling unnecessarily painful. But life is boring.

Update

I wish I could actually be mature. I also wish I had my own thing going, that was an active process.

Wait, never mind. I don't want to be forced to do anything

Update

As a matter of fact, don't carry on with that Man and a Half run.

Update

Now that I'm intent on actually playing it, I wanted to say that the map House of Pain in Doom episode three, especially in this format, brings back not just a reminder but memories of a relatively profound dream, that I want somebody to interpret, somehow - in some capacity. The difficulty right now is I Am the Painkiller. This is the furthest map I've made it to on the highest difficulties.

Update

I might not want to recount the dream because it's overly personal or weird.

But I've been testing these different difficulties, and if you want a continual run of the classic Doom series, I Am the Painkiller is what you want. I think.

6/20

Now doing Hell on Earth Starter Pack instead. I guess do it on Painkiller difficulty.

Update

Where there's a will, there's a way. There's the problem.

People just assume the will to do anything just comes out of a can, and in reality that's anal compulsion. I don't want to promote what tumblr and the rest of the paid web sites are promoting, so

The alternative is to do things the way you would see most people doing them, which with difficult things just means being really lazy.

Basically what I heard from Common Filth, which you would have heard if you regulared, was that people in the workforce all have their own individualized ideas of what works the best and what doesn't, and none of it integrates, so nothing is really, in that sense, upward mobility.

"God is Dead" doesn't gives the specifics of the facts of the FBI and Central Intelligence Agency doing the bidding of the enemies of those in Anonymous who are actually gathering the most important central intelligence that can work to benefit this world. Of course, that's invalid because no one likes white people.

Update

I just finished Warioland II again. Actually, as soon as I started the first stage that wasn't part of the main path as part of the game's replatability, I felt the weight of that one song.

Even then, now I'm going to start Wario Land 3. This is the game in the series that got great critical acclaim as a platformer.

I was thinking, with that last event involving the big cities, if things are getting off the ground now, I might actually work on IBM Skillsbuild, as opposed to just playing video games. Even though there was a lot of information involved in the post, no one's talking about it, so it's as if it didn't happen.

6/21

Trying Hell on Earth Starter Pack again, this time on Man and a Half difficulty

Update

It just hit me, the reason Doom's software lighting has such an extreme jump in brightness only in close quarters with a surface is because it reflects the shininess of some surfaces.

Update

Alright, so that's the best we've got. We're entirely too weak a people to actually get up and do anything about the rich jew sponsored world order, and, as it stands, not only is our only publicly-recognized motivation for doing so merely obstructionist because we're jealous or something to the exact same effect as this, the rich jew sponsored world order is still the underdogs

Update

I really wish this span of time since I was born in history had never existed. It's been garbage.

6/22

Imgur: The magic of the Internet

8H3xGiy.jpg (1024×664) (imgur.com) (zoomed in)

Update

I found out the collection of data discs with media on them that my dad has is playable - or at least I got something to play - on the PS Triple, which I have set up to an old screen, which is appropriate for DVD quality, like on these discs

One of the movies stored is Toy Story 2, which was actually very highly rated

There's also some Spongebob and Bugs Bunny - I'll probably do that first since it's shorter

6/23

There are still days coming off the conveyor line

I have Toy Story 2 running while my parents are shopping, and if nothing else, I'll play Minecraft on Hard, recreating the server from scratch until I get a starting location that's halfway workable

Update

I found the Captain Morgan again. It was in my dad's office, totally drained. It's just, what do we have to do with this much alcohol in this household? None, we just dump it out.

I've been thinking a bit about personal definitive favorite game series of all time. You have your Silent Hill (by Team Silent - so technically Siren also), MOTHER, and Wario Land. Come to think of it, is Mario even this definitive? What I always heard with Mario is that you can't go wrong. With these series, it may be more subjective.

Update

Finding a common interest with my parents was kind of hard in itself. We just watched the first episodes of Futurama on hulu. After episode 2, already there was a breakoff with me, because while I'm just barely able to sit still getting ready for a break, mom apparently was just getting in the mindset that we were "binge-watching."

I don't think we're really compatible.

The worse part is what could come down to the fact that I'm being gangstalked, with people close to me bugged to go through with the worst-case scenarios of these little things I come up with to worry about - but those things are overly specific and gone like water under the bridge. My parents are actually like this, ever since before I could ever confirm narrowly that gangstalking was present. It's as if they're reacting to a mutiny breaking out, but it's not just that. It's as if a mutiny they're reacting to breaking out, not meant to result in much because they're being the better person anyway, gets just *too* out of hand, and all of a sudden, everything flips over to where there's a mutiny that's gotten so out of hand, all reason has gone out the window for all parties, and they just act as rashly as they want. Virtually every last time this has happened, which is easy to set off in all situations, not just the exceptions, it didn't become apparent that anything was going wrong until the moment they exploded, and they're always in the right because they're the parents.

I can't get into casual anything because that underlying pressurization is always there.

Update

I failed at Hard Minecraft. I can try harder, but it's like spinning tires in a rut.

For some reason, this jogged my memory and made me finally realize, things like D. Curry "The Game" and the leftist slogan "It's not rigged, you're just losing" don't have to come out, because it's what everybody's already thinking before anything even happens. It's just how conservatards, which is what they are, are perceived. I don't really know how the description of screaming that they "game" has to do with conservatism, but the only people who actually advocate for how it was in the old days are doing this, undoubtedly.

I guess what people actually get wrong is not that set of sayings I just put out there, but this assumption people have that their talking about "conservatism" is quite literally talking about modern-day conservatives. It may be worth laughing at us for, but that is not true. These are liberals, died-in-the-wool.

That reference to having sex with a girl with a good vibe, in reality, just has to do with the effective customs process you have to go through in order to become accustomed to the prevailing social norms of the time. Really, the argument ought to be framed as Old Age-ism, because the only thing that's being said is at the door with these things, saying it's outright dead, and you need to move on, QED by evidence of feelings of self-evidence in assertion, as with everything else in life, which is all consciousness constitutes. It really is.

I'm not going to take the patient route in Minecraft. At that point you may as well just turn in your theoretical license as a hardcore gamer. If there's no way to do Hard mode proactively, then you may as well quit.

Update

I always wanted to be able to have a setup in Minecraft - and this might be something autistic because it's the same deal I had with a favorite Lego set when I was still in middle school - where I knew more or less exactly what to go to for all the initial essential resources. Doing this approach works, and on console, it works up through hard mode, but on PC, hard mode is harder than what they would have ever intended for console.

I don't know why it gets to me so deep. But I do know, all my other playthroughs of Minecraft on different setups were trying to establish this method of getting a safe zone started and then building up to having the enchantments available in the most timely fashion possible. Playing on hard and failing proves I don't really have the survival guide.

Update

There are certain questions, like is it even worth it to make farming wheat a first priority? It takes too long. Find your initial food elsewhere.

Update

Okay. The first thing is virtually always to punch your first tree, to gather at least three log blocks. These convert to wooden plank blocks which themselves convert when combined vertically into sticks. The first log block should be converted into four planks which will be combined in a square to create the crafting table. The other two log blocks should be converted into plank blocks, and using those, create only four sticks to begin with. Use these resources to craft a wooden axe and a wooden pickaxe.

The next step is to use the wooden axe to gather some more wood. Since it can be converted into charcoal later, leave it in log form.

Then go digging underground until you hit cobblestone and mine that. This is how you build your real initial tools made of stone.

If it's on Hard mode, this is actually making me think about it.

In this server, I didn't find any sheep, so I ended up stealing a bed from a village. If you can't find either, then I guess you're screwed.

Ideally, have one on your home base and one on you to use wherever whenever night falls.

Yes. Use some of the log blocks, create a furnace out of cobblestone, and cook them to produce charcoal, assuming you don't immediately find coal. This will be used to craft torches.

Usually I keep pickaxe, basic stepping-stone blocks, shovel, and torches all clumped together on the item selection with the tools in the middle for easier selection.

From what I've found, wheat farming is the most straightforward way to produce a ridiculous surplus of food items, but to bypass the amount of time required to get this surplus, you need a significant amount of bone meal, which is typically only acquired by killing Skeletons. The problem with that is that these are the most difficult and annoying to defeat of the common enemies because they constantly shoot arrows. If it's the newer versions of Minecraft, they have sped up these Skeletons so that you essentially will rely on the new Shield item, which requires iron, mined from the earth, and it's usually not found near the surface.

What I have right here is a contradiction. I expect to have enough food in supply to take on these skeletons because they're just a common enemy in the caves.

I haven't even estimated how much actual food would be enough for that initial trek to hunt down enough skeletons for the bone meal.

What I tried doing was quickly getting enough iron for an iron suit, and on Hard on PC that just isn't working.

In theory I would want the iron suit before anything, because those skeletons take a toll. There is a method where you gather a surplus of log blocks to craft a surplus of sticks in order to craft a lot of ladders and then you use this to rappel down to the level that you'll find lots of pools of lava.

Realistically you find caves just by creating the hole to do this, so getting cooked meat would be good.

Have a stone sword and a separate crafting table as well. All you need for basic tools is sticks and the cobblestone you will find in great abundance in the caves.

Also, a thing I do is create manually-constructed beacons so that you can tell where your base is from far away. It usually takes two entire spaces filled with 64 blocks to make this thing high enough, because once you're at the top, you have to dig your way back down on one of the block spires. Jump and put the blocks up underneath, and do that until you can tell the thing is visible from above at least most of the treetops, or something, and then put a torch on top before digging back down.

I actually underestimated how much wood it would take to do this, because I normally make a cramped spiral staircase, which eats up the least resources, but that's also boring.

When mining straight down, you want to stand on more than just one block at a time so that you don't fall directly through in the case of a large hole in the earth, or lava.

Which is the best level to mine iron in Minecraft 1.19? (sportskeeda.com)

"Other than that, another sweet spot is underground, at Y level 16. Since players spend most of their time underground as compared to in the mountains, this is also a good easy-to-access location."

Okay, press the F3 key to display coordinate stats

I'm used to mining with at least three blocks vertically to make it more roomy, so I'm going to mine at the levels above and below Y = 16

Update

This is taking way too long.

Update

Literally, just finding enough iron to make an iron suit of armor would be enough to be considered success in getting started in this game, but there just isn't enough. I have enough for a few new tools. That's it.

Update

They didn't make Wario Land 2 so that the secret ending opens up once you complete the map from the level end games and find a shiny spot on it - it only opens up when you get every bonus game treasure and the map.

6/24

If they didn't make it so you can save and quit once you have the treasure, this would be unbearable.

At this point, I'm a bit afraid I'm going to go stir-crazy no matter what I do.

When you combine rum and root beer, it doesn't make a nice blend; it tastes horrible. I feel a bit betrayed by that.

Update

The point was made online, and I'm basically expanding on it: we have the American revolution as our example - do you need drill sergeants barking down your neck if you're already motivated to fight and die for your country? How long until we recognize this as evil whoremongering? No more brother wars, right? World War I *and* II.

The more excited I get, the more the Internet connection gets uppity.

Honestly, wouldn't that be the first logical step in establishing a theoretical white identity, acknowledging the gross injustices of the world wars fought over petty alliances?

There are some things that can be known like witnessing (hopefully not in full) the tranny surgery in action, where you then know there are doctors who would carry something like this out no different than any other surgery.

Ironically, there isn't a lot of acknowledgement of the world wars as gross injustices in and of themselves. Usually, it's made all about the fascism of the 1900s, and not so much about the centralization of power granted but the cult of personality of it.

For those who haven't heard the quote before

"You must understand, the leading Bolsheviks who took over Russia were not Russians. They hated Russians. They hated Christians. Driven by ethnic hatred they tortured and slaughtered millions of Russians without a shred of human remorse. It cannot be overstated. Bolshevism committed the greatest human slaughter of all time. The fact that most of the world is ignorant and uncaring about this enormous crime is proof that the global media is in the hands of the perpetrators." - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

The human toll of Bolshevism, which I have to stop and think about just to type out myself, makes the Holocaust pale by direct comparison, and that's monumentally more so if you don't believe the official numbers which aren't even backed by census data.

I think it goes by the wayside for most people, that quote is genuinely appealing to media as something being run by people who truly care about mankind. That's assuming an ideal world for us to live in.

This man is very quotable, and to him, this statement comes as a shock to him, whereas to most of us it wouldn't.

So I notice most of our own don't really think like that, not necessarily, not really. Those of these "Nazis" that actually own up to the fictional ideology drummed up in propaganda are just taking what has been called the "red suppository" - a lot of them are fags.

Hint: There's no help coming

Is that dismissing the whole thing? Well - technically Anonymous was mostly made up of edgy libertarians who then grew out of that phase and now don't identify explicitly as one thing or another.

The way these fantasies like the Holocaust come into being is from what has been documented of reality as the wartime abusiveness of fags, running prisons with solitary confinements.

Is that saying these fags identifying as Nazis are the real thing?

According to census data, at least 1/3 of modern jews are at least bisexual. This is according to a year before identifying with LGBTQ was as easy as signing your name.

I don't know why, but I'm of the mentality that we're in the years specified by science fiction from the 70's and so on. Where is our excuse, other than the points of diminishing returns...

A direct case can be made with the way there used to be quality content coming out of media like Disney, until they were bought out by a soulless corporation.

Unless you want to revamp the whole thing, which at that point would be more well-suited to an original company, individual efforts will just be appropriated into the corporate agenda, which is directly baited along by Blackrock.

The situation with trying to start new business based on work that just crops up organically is something dire which I haven't tried diving into to talk about.

It's, you got a license for that, you got a license for that, you got a license for that?

The reason I'm too intimidated to research it seriously is because I'm afraid that might prove too much and be touchy, when it comes to who comes out of the woodworks.

So, the perspective of the past, which is where boomers are coming from, may be "where is your excuse?", but young people today are looking at things like, what am I supposed to do?

It seems like boomers really would take Blackrock running things from behind the scenes as a reason not to work as an excuse. That's where i'm more certain actually going into the details of how the need for licenses etc. is destroying people's ability to start businesses is going to start this artificial danger for myself from people coming out of the woodwork.

Ironically, in theory, I could personally take on the challenge of all the licensing needs and fees etc., but then people in personal settings tell me all the time, constantly, about the way I do things just generally, you're trying way, way, WAY too hard.

So if you want business to be able to crop up organically, it doesn't matter if I can do it - it would be completely impersonal, by the point you actually push it through all of the corporate bookwork.

I think that's why I consider what happened to the media the best example, because you can't force that.

If anything, even if it's going to be a mockery of one, why don't we try taking "groyping" to the next phase by, openly, spontaneously debating blue checkmarks

Yes, there are inferior feelings to be felt from this. But also, who is taking them seriously?

I'm not going to personally do it because I don't want to dignify anyone in particular with a response. I'm just advocating for it to be done.

Clearly, the masses of people don't actually see the soulless corporations as soulless corporations but more like a cult of personality that they're, actually, personally a part of - what you see when you see people being busy having all the right opinions.

No one is going to take the soulless corporation stance and run with it - that's just a fantasy.

So things are just going to remain in the stagnating and breaking-down state that they are because too many people just want things to just be. The thing is, with all the people having their own personal take on advice on how things work in their own sphere that conflicts with everyone else's at some point or another, if there was an attempt at genuinely unifying this workable knowledge into something definitive - it would be a lot easier in theory just to let new people get into it and not have to make all these little things the focus.

Probably the next game I buy will be Super Monkey Ball, as opposed to Skyrim on PC when I have the PS3 version already.

Update

I finally got enough iron in Minecraft to build a full suit of armor along with the full set of iron tools, and that is because I dug and hit a cave.

Then I realized I still don't want to go in to the caves proper on hard because realistically, for food, you want steaks, and that means gathering cattle. Literally just build a fence and guide more than one in with wheat, then feed them to make them reproduce.

And since mining for the iron takes so long, that should be done first.

Update

The post that got everyone to leave

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Bocchi the Rock Johnson

Update

I didn't want to go out with less than 36 steaks, going by multiples of 12, and then I didn't want to go out because that was too valuable.

For some reason, the thought of achieving success by resorting to the new version of the game's deeper caves that go down to -64 blocks where it's claustrophobic to dig for diamonds gave a flashback to the way the face was used for the stalker in Lacey's games, like this is what we're encouraging for success, becoming a complete recluse.

Update

In Minecraft, we're going with 30 steaks and 60 watermelons.

6/25 night

It takes being drunk to a certain extent to think I could stomach being a schoolboy all over again like I'm going through before-school shopping.

I think the fact that I can't has more to do with the current political climate.

Update

Now here's a hopeful thought. I think what I wanted was to try to recreate that setting from grade school where things were simple enough where, if there was a formula direly needed to be known, it would be explicitly written out on the board and discussed. It was made the main focus. What I've heard since dropping out of college - with a General Transfer Studies degree in tow though - is that once you get past the introductory levels, which is where I did drop out, the majority of professors aren't even articulate enough at it to sum up courses like that from grade school. The hopeful thought from that was that, then, I know all I have to do is find a way to personally garner that articulateness. But then how do you do that? There's no one to tell you what the vital points are.

My optimistic worldview that led to the side production of my dream project sketchup was based around this idea that all things could be reduced to that understanding of vital points and thereby compartmentalized in a way that couldn't be easily exploited, even by ulterior motives from outside. Here, I just have to acknowledge, from the point I was at, at the near end of the introductory portions of college, that was the opposite of the reality.

Update

I don't want to go crazy before I can peak. I think that's the idea.

Is this even an accurate paranoia? If I take the time out to go through course material beforehand to review it before even starting to memorize the contents in order to identify what the vitals are, and I mean to my own personal extent, that would be enough to make people view my approach to the courses as an invader.

Okay, it's true that, having a higher IQ than the professors, I have a self-image that rubs off on my expectations for other people, being way too high.

Like I told my mom today, I don't talk about that much, but you could hold me to militaristically high standards; I'm so glad you don't. She said they would *never* do that, but I said that's what I'm saying: I'm glad you don't

Update

There was some quote from Ghost in the Shell 2 that I took personally which isn't really originating from it, "God forever geometrizes" - I took that to heart because in college after introductory courses, professors, what are you doing - this is exactly what I just talked about

Update

I thought if the professors are just going to do nothing from now on but give the runaround, it might be time to rely solely on the book, but with the human element of the classroom removed, I just didn't care enough anymore.

I'm sure 8th-gen gaming becoming the norm for the industry played a part in discouragement. In the end, there was no sense of competition. I was just spending my time alone.

Update

I wish I could read a book without my own thought tangents becoming an issue.

Update

I wish it was possible to cite these things in isolation from where they came from - too bad that's cheating

Find Me (Intro) - YouTube

Update much later

Why not

▶[Dubstep] ★ Koke Rutter - Valley - YouTube

May remove it before the morning

6/25

It was right when I was deciding there really isn't anything in Minecraft interesting enough to keep me playing that hasn't already on console before that the first message representing the fags appeared in the game's starting menu.

6/26 night

Man, I really want to introduce fifth-columns as part of my daily routine

6/26

Sometimes it feels like there's absolutely nothing to do. My computer system is booked up trying to transfer items to a flash drive in a way that is really inefficient, and other than that there is IBM Skillsbuild, there posing as the education into the job market that was always going to be the end-all-be-all.

It's like there is no reality except for what can be gotten out of significant efforts, and we're just here scraping away at the surface.

I can't just go out and have a job that isn't from home. I'm getting severely, severely gangstalked.

Is there any mindset in which information can be retained? Because every time I try to read through new information ever since failing out of college multiple times, now it's traumatic, and I just feel like I'm digging through someone's trash.

Update

Real talk, was it a waste of time to worry about humanity? It just seems like all of their thoughts are wasting their time. And I mean people from other cultures like Haiti just killed off the white people living there, lived wearing the clothes the white people were wearing at that time, and then starved afterward and blamed the white people. Yes, there are injustices that go on there led by politicians like Hillary Clinton to exploit funding and so forth, but are they deserving of sympathy?

6/27 night

One thing that was mentioned, which is something found when the phenomenon of reuploading footage of the old beta showcases happened, was that Mother 3's design was intended to follow in the footsteps of Mother 2, with Belch being part of the main advertising, by being an experience that actually creates a sense of disgust, being attributed to all of the things happening. That's something I think they should have pursued even in the final game. Still, how would you do that on Gameboy Advance? It doesn't sound like you can.

Update

I should write it down in case I forget after today. What Larry Fink said about distancing himself - socially? - from ESG, notably his own damn creation - that comes at a direct coincidence with the fact that I just then had taken that stance on videogames if what Minecraft's new version just pulled was going to be across the board from now on in some swoop of agenda. In the back of my mind, I know something's up.

I've had pop-up news of George Soros with targeted expressions in these past years since summer 2021. That's why I don't think of these actors as independent anymore. Like gangstalking bugging that happens with people in person, there's no stimulation that would be causing these reactions as things play out in real time. It's thoughts being directly ported, in a way that's not even conscious to them.

Update

The way "pride" is presented in context with our modern world, you would think it is part and parcel of being a Christian in the classic Biblical sense, that the Sexual Revolution is just now reviving.

I've been thinking for the past day or so, if people in general have this manner of thinking, does it really matter that these particular agendas have been playing out? We've been of the mindset that the Sexual Revolution is 21st Century Christianity since the 21st century.

Where were you when you realized "pride", as an reminder of how far we've come, is an adage to this fact and this fact alone? "Always has been"

To liberals, that would seem obvious.

That *was* what they were saying, wasn't it?

6//27

The fact that the current state of public discussion is tolerated shows that it's been over for many, many years, let alone any Agenda 2030. We can't just get up and walk it back. For reasons that exist in the minds of modern contemporary people, it's justified or something. I don't know what they're talking about. I've never seen their arguments stand on their own, but they come from a different reality.

Thinking that has less to do with failure so much as the fact that this is just dealing with a very mediocre people.

And yet here they are, with their savior complex, when they continue to not know shit from Shinola

I just meant to say Republicans.

Well yeah, isn't that what everyone's thinking? Yeah!

Life doesn't have a meaning. We're just going to sit here and hog the podium belligerating Republicans, and being self-projecting in that respect

Every day sucks worse than the last, and that's because you can't get off your ugly ass. Yeah, that's right.

The last major shill post, which is where the Larry Fink story was introduced, was this bizarre low-quality post by a office shill worker posing as a Satanist insider where they took up what I said and was thinking about the military and said you can do nothing but go off and join their military, meaning if you so much as take up work, it's for them unequivocally.

This is what I mean with paranoia, the paranoia I have - it's not the literal subjective interpretation in and of itself but the actual inroads that are then going to be created, having used that as a greenlight and a stimulus, with new narratives across the board, because of me.

Update

From now on, let's just do the honest thing and have a segment of "you know you've lost when..."

When the most meaning you can get out of doing anything that doesn't directly translate into serving the tax farm complex is the equivalent of that psyop with Nazis smearing shit on the bathroom stalls

Update

We're trapped in one particular point in time. There's no getting out

Update

Well, you can say that when I act like liberals are of a different universe, that's not even valid because any of us could make any given argument and have it logically stand, and then declare "the time has come to be reasonable" and realize everyone else is in a different reality.

There are no gears intermeshing between white nationalists or whatever they're supposed to be called and the human population.

Literally, it was my *intended message* that got called out as "grifting", as merely a *proxy* message, for whatever severity it is in "*consensus* reality". Otherwise, the meme wouldn't have had the steam that it did to have initially happened.

So - why don't I understand - consensus reality?

Because it's fake, and up a man's ass.

Okay but by coming out with that real, you're doing pride's favor by denouncing Republicans, as is said bodily function. You act like that's a joke, but no, it's not

Update

The fact that people like Larry Fink make public statements shows that there is a significant enough amount of the population to eat up this bullshit.

Update

The United States is a broken people. I may have inherited this, but I'm not going to pick up the pieces. It's customary to just expect you people to by yourselves, when that's what's never going to happen. Why? Because you live in an alternate reality where everything is just through the TV hobby

I think the problem with that is I don't have anything better to do. Apparently the enjoyability of anything is actually contingent on a real world situation mirroring it, in some way or fashion. Now there isn't. I'm just going to sit here and eat ass.

You suck and are also gay

I don't know why I just thought of this, but Silent Hill 4 made a supposed big thing out of Walter Sullivan having his "mother" at the center of his secret universe. That never really pans out, but that happens to be the name of the final boss of Siren 2.

I remember Common Filth went to some length about the psychology of "mommy worship" - I don't *know*

Update

It seems like no matter what context you're in, if you're a white nationalist, all you have to do is come out saying just forget everything because I'm already despairing, and everyone will come out of the woodwork in unison and this hilarity that comes suspended in euphoric ecstasy over the stated facts that you're just now coming to grips with the conclusions everyone else's already made thousands of years ago, only just today, and now it shows, whatever they're making out of it that makes them act so much, like this.

In reality my state is more like the Family Guy episode name "If I'm Dyin', I'm Lyin'"

But in reality everyone is out of control. I don't know what to do with them

So that is true, I'm legitimately giving up

Reality is a consensus. You can augment it with any little motion of expression.

Life is boring.

The best argument for making this debacle of taking back the West spiritual and not simply racial is the angle Common Filth gave about how early Christians were almost always made up of peoples of multiple ethnicities. That works because that's granting that the early Christians would have actually adhered to the Biblical teachings against racemixing.

Is the real reason everyone bashes conservatives that it really does keep coming down to, we just need to kick out the niggers? "Oh, well what makes *you* so important?" Dumbasses

And of course they think by taking up that route I'm bashing *conservatives*, in their footsteps, like they can't envision logically anything else, and that stands - I'm literally like a fish out of water

And, then, that one song "Small D*ck" by Filthy Frank referencing the meme makes it sound like it's a warning to this when they say "their dicks are much bigger" - that's been disproven; in fact they're smaller. That can't be what it is they're getting so big talking about. They say, in the capacity of the liberals' "listen and believe" - so *not* listening - you have to "listen". "*Listen*"

That event that got the "Propertarian" movement to quietly break up where one of the leaders got confronted by a black activist and just pissed his pants - was that a psyop? There doesn't seem to be any organic reason for him to do that.

It's things like this - when something like Kyle Rittenhouse happens, it's like it's inevitable that something like his cucking out crying on live camera was going to autonomously happen. He crossed the line of, muh sacred *blacks*

My Internet locked up for a bit for this. Forget who's *advocating* for violence - things like Kyle Rittenhouse are what's *organic* - isolate the people getting all uppity - what makes them so special?

Update

In its current state, it's easy to just dismiss or distance Christian religion as a motivator. The racial issue is closer to what it is: calling a spade a spade.

Honestly, if religion pertains to this as a conflict, it would apply *to jews.* That is Biblical.

Update

Well, there's no disputing that with the industry in its current state, the remake of Silent Hill 2 was exclusively with defending the eternal metrosexual in mind, where MGS3 and anything else would just be icing on the cake *after* the fact. Anyone who disputes this is an invalid, says a liberal.

Update

I've never actually mentioned this angle on it before, even though I brought it up too much - Denzel Curry's "The Game" would apply to the way people who are still doing the stuff of Silent Hill 1 and 2 aren't actually up to speed with where the culture is at and are basically there to just be fetishizing.

Update

In reality, Silent Hill is supposed to be an intellectual series. That's why in Whitopia its status as liberal is undisputed.

Actually, that's where I actually understand where people are coming from blowing up, saying the Republicans *aren't intellectual!*

Yep, they just won. And I'm just going to sit there like a dumbass.

You have right-wingers doing "you'd think it's a typo with these red lines and periods", and then they just go off and keep grifting some more I guess

Yeah, that's right - these people who will just be blowing out the gates with "in the name of the Loard!!!" are stupid *idiots* - we have PTSD from doing with this

Basically, Silent Hill 2 nu-version will just be hand-having what the movement is - and they're going to *keep* doing it

Saying we just want to make sure - we just want to make sure

Right. We can't deal with these Christians anymore. We've had too many terror attacks.

Jeeze, we *literally cannot stop* these people from blowing through our gates saying "we want freedom! We want freedom!" Jesus Christ, do you even know what liberty means? Freedom and the pursuit of happiness! That's what open sexuality means

*Freedom of expression*

I don't know what this means, but I just know that this is what it feels like

Bottom line.

The Christians are going to destroy everything.

Honestly I don't think they're gonna do anythi- no.

Until we destroy the right-wingers, we'll never be free of our anxiety

[friskbitz]

after finally being able to move into a decently sized apartment after living 3 and a half years in a micro studio i fully believe micro studios should be illegal

scumlords actually went "yeah we wanna build this building and cram as many people as we possibly can into it and give each of them hardly even enough space to walk around in their homes and we're gonna charge each of them $10 per square foot for it" and everyone just let it happen