#it wasn't dissociating but it was something

[numenoria]

The Rings of Power Season 1 Ep 1-4 thoughts/observations/commentary ✨

EP1:

RIP Finrod 😥

Galadriel is a badass consumed by vengeance. I'm sure this WILL NOT come back to bite her.

Galadriel girl you're on your own!!

Young Elrond's hair is quite interesting...

Your honor, I'm convinced this Gil-Galad person wants to fuck Elrond

Evidence:

Arondir the beautiful elf that you are!

Bronwyn is gorgeous and level-headed.

Lil boy put that evil trinket back where it came from oh so help me!!!

These proto-hobbits are adorable and scruffy. I like Nori, she's spunky. I wasn't feeling the Hartfoots hair choices at first but it grew on me.

Galadriel being literally shipped off. Yeah this is def a coverup for something

The blond masc elf REALLY wants Galadriel to stay on the boat

Galadriel: 🤸🏻‍♀️🌊

Who the fuck just fell from the sky?? Naked??

EP2:

Nori is definitely a "run towards the danger" kind of gal

Is that GANDALF?? It's Gandalf right?

Feanor mention!! Simarils?? 👀

"True creation requires sacrifice" Yeah that's not the last time we're going to hear that phrase.

I've been saying Celebrimbor's name wrong this entire time. 😶

YAY Dwarves!!

Elrond is besties with a Dwarf! Durin IV?

Durin why are you showing out!? Elrond just wants to say hi :(

Oh...

20 years!!? Elrond you missed his wedding and the birth of his babies?? I'd show out too!! Trash friend behavior!

Disa! The dwarf queen that you are! She's so inviting and warm. OMG her hair is gorgeous! Durin IV I will fight you for her hand in marriage!

I haaateeee Durin's Hair/Beard combo. They lowkey did him dirty imo.

Why are these people on this raft?? Galadriel do not trust that man!

I'm not sold on the Halbrand thirst yet..

ORCS UNDER THE HOUSE??

I bet yall believe Bronwyn now!

Bro killed the Fireflies oop :(

EP3:

The Elves are slaves?? prisoners?? I don't like this

Who is Adar??

Galadriel and Halbrand are on a bigger boat.

Elendir you ruggedly handsome man. The genes are strong in that bloodline.

Numenor is breathtaking.

These people do not like elves

Galadriel does not know how to talk to people

Queen Tar-Miriel *I AM LOOKING RESPECFULLY*

I thought Pharazon was being played by Jack Black. Like a cleaned up Jack Black. I'm Sorry to both actors.

The Numenorians are very stylish.

Isildur??

Oh no he's dissociating at sea (trauma perhaps?)

I prefer look of these orcs over PJ's orcs.

Some losers are interrogating Halbrand.

Oh shit these guys are about to get curbed stomped to hell!

Halbrand's locked up

OH NO HE'S HOT!!

Evidence:

Why did he look at her like that??? . They def have some simmering sexual tension

"I am not the hero you seek." FORESHADOWING!! Galadriel do not trust this man!

An unsuccessful Elf rebellion. Arondir was giving action hero vibes

Wtf is that?? A warg? An orc dog??

Blurry Adar

EP4:

Miriel holding a baby. She loves her people

It was all a dream

Pharazar is plotting something!! He's very much a Brutus type.

Arondir meets Adar

I am slightly turned on and disgusted

Theo is attached to the evil trinket almost bound to it...

Arondir saves the Theo (I think that's his son?? But they don't know it yet)

Disa is a bad liar 😂

MIthril???

Galadriel locked up.

Halbrand teaching Galadriel about playing mind games. Yeah girl don't trust him!

Galadriel is free

Miriel and Galadriel bond. Do people ship them? Should I ship them? 🤔

The King's health is failing. Poor Miriel.

A Palantir? That's not good. Six more? Like dragon balls?

The crystal nerd in me thinks the Palantir is composed of lapis lazuli (the stone of visions/psychic powers)

Galadriel's getting the boot from Numenor

Arondir to Theo's rescue!

The orcs are ashy and they hate the sun

Disa you better sang to those rocks!!

This scene was very touching.

I love Dwarves!

Durin/Disa/Elrond warms my heart

The Dwarf King knows something is up

Theo do not trust that creepy old man.

Sir unhand that boy! 🔪

The darkness has consumed this old man

Galadriel is shipped off again!

The petals of the White Tree fall.

Galadriel is back w/Queen Miriel's support

Me thinks the people will not take this well

Overall the show is visually pleasing (aside from some styling choices). The cast is strong and very talented. The music is excellent. There's a lot of characters being introduced but that's typical of anything Tolkien related. Thanks for getting this far! I'll continue episodes 5-8 in a separate post ✨🩷

-Davi ☽︎♡︎☾︎

Edit: Not sure what happened, but NONE of the pics/memes I put in the post saved on tumblr mobile! I edited it on desktop so they should show up now. ^^

[brw]

Okay, I've finished every Alpha Flight volume, all the limited series' and the one-shot, and most of the cameo appearances, and can I just say, I have truly no idea what the fuck people are on about when they say that Aurora and Sasquatch's relationship is uniquely awful, or abusive, or incredibly toxic, and I can't tell if it's because I have a uniquely high tolerance for weird and toxic relationship dynamics in comics (I have fun reading a lot of Ant-Man and Wasp comics, I love Vision and the Scarlet Witch, I'm a ReedSue warrior, etc), or if everyone else had Alpha Flight be their first 80s comics, because Sasquatch hasn't done like, anything! And I know she's my favourite, so I'm naturally inclined to be more gentle than most people, but even with that context, I feel like I'm usually pretty good at recognising when my faves do something messed up. I'm a Hank McCoy fan, I know how to criticise a blorbo for war crimes. but Sasquatch doesn't even do that very much until the last 20 issues of the series, and it wasn't Aurora. Because, okay, here are Sasquatch's crimes in Alpha Flight;

Attempted to calm Jeanne Marie down by explaining the relationship between Langkowski and Aurora. In this, the narratior dialogue literally says that Jeanne Marie does not feel the disgust she would expect of herself for learning of her altar's sexual activities, and that's what makes her react like that. It has nothing to do with Sasquatch's actions, and everything to do with Jeanne Marie's complex and negative feelings about her own sexuality, of which Sasquatch was kept in the dark about by Mac until this issue. Alpha Flight V1 #4

I've seen people say that Sasquatch persuing a relationship with Aurora after this fact was wrong, and I can see where they're coming from, but it does feel deeply infantilising, frankly. Would you say that about Betty Ross and her relationship with Bruce and Hulk? What about Marlo and Joe Fixit? Aurora clearly was interested in Sasquatch and was determined in pursuing that relationship, and I don't think Sasquatch is a bad person for returning those feelings and that desire any more than I think like, Janet van Dyne is a bad person for loving Hank still when he was Yellowjacket. This isn't an uncommon dynamic in cape comics, especially in the 80s. I don't know what to tell you. Acting like someone continuing to pursue someone with dissociative identity disorder is an awful person is just a really odd take to me, particularly again with the context that this is not an uncommon plotline in the remit of 80s comics. Is everyone who ever dated Moon Knight getting cancelled now, too? Or is it only women with D.I.D. who are too mentally ill to be capable of relationships and of consent? I'm not denying that the way this was written was ableist, and misogynistic, but acting like Sasquatch is awful for being romantically involved with a woman with D.I.D. while not being incredibly informed on D.I.D. is bizarre to me because you can say that about SO many comic book characters with dissociative identity disorder!

Camouflaged Aurora's x-gene when she asked Sasquatch to change her powers to be no longer reliant on Northstar. I've seen some people act like this entire situation was non-consensual, but no, Aurora went out of her way to ask to be changed to not rely on Northstar's powers with her light ability. Alpha Flight V1 #17

I don't think like, nonconsensual body experimentation is a good thing, but again, this is small potatoes to me. I'd understand it if it was Sasquatch changing Aurora's powers without permission, but the only thing she did was mask the X-gene, and I'd like to remind everyone this is the universe where they canonically have giant genocidal murder robots. Like I'm sorry but I just simply do not think this is the worst thing someone has ever done to their partner in comics! And granted, when Reed did the same thing to Franklin in the most recent FF vs X-Men, I also didn't care and I was on his side, so I might just be built different, but some of you people would not survive reading 70s Avengers comics. Is it a great moment? Of course not, but I think it's an understandable action in the universe where mutant genocides come monthly, and I do not think this holds water as proof Sasquatch is an awful abusive person, particularly when the reason for Aurora wanting to no longer be connected with Northstar came after multiple instances of Northstar assaulting Aurora, purposefully endangering her, slut-shaming her, being very controlling towards her regarding her relationship with Sasquatch as if that was not a choice she was making, and even after when Sasquatch was dead, continuted to be incredibly ableist to both her and the disabled man she was involved with, Roger Bochs. Like, I appreciate and I KNOW that their relationship has grown and has gotten much better, but at this point in time, frankly, Aurora was right to want to be separated from him, I think, because he was not a good brother to her.

And in any case, the mutant gene thing, the actual issue and the actual symbol of non consensual body modification, almost immediately gets forgotten. Writers have since talked about and discuss the way her powers were altered; none of them in the main Alpha Flight series have ever acknowledged her X-Gene being masked, so outside of this one issue, it literally does not come up and is never framed as an issue. I think you could, and I'd be interested if they did, but I do not think altering Aurora's powers WHEN ASKED to distance her from her brother, who at this time, was a distinctly controlling, cruel figure in her life, was a bad thing to do. The sense of ownership over her, the justifiying mutant bigotry, sure, that's messed up, but I've read every single fucking issue after that, and it does not come up again, so you're going to have to try harder to convince me.

And after this, that's sort of it? Like, I'm trying to think of anything else that happens in any of these runs, and nothing's really coming to me. They don't get back together after Sasquatch comes back, and don't get back together for the rest of the run.

I guess there's the bit where Sasquatch helps instituionalise Aurora in that random issue of Wolverine (#173), but like, I'm really sorry, you'll have to forgive me if a random issue of a Frank Tieri comic that only happened to set up Frank Tieri's Weapon X series which is universally hated by Alpha Flight/Aurora fans isn't something I'm gonna sit here and call core characterisation. It happened because Tieri wanted Aurora in that series so she could get sexualised and abused, and to my knowledge he has never written Sasquatch or Aurora before or since his Weapon X series, so again, you'll have to forgive me if this, to me, feels like the equivalent of pulling out Bendis' Avengers Disassembled as a core piece of Wanda Maximoff characterisation. Like, no. That is ridiculous. What are you talking about.

Look, alright, look. I'm aware, as I've repeated, that I have an unnaturally high tolerance for comic book nonsense. I like 60s comics a lot. I read all of Force Works, and Silver Sable and the Wild Pack recently. You think Byrne was weird in Alpha Flight? Try reading his West Coast Avengers. So it makes sense that some people would read these moments, and see them as unforgivable, because they aren't deep in the weeds of what nonsense comic books can be. They haven't sat down and read Avengers #200, one of the most infamously awful comics ever. They haven't followed the trajectory of Hank Pym and Janet van Dyne's relationship up to it's divorce, and afterwards, and seen how misogyny, ableism and saneism all combined in a very odd 15 years of comics. They haven't read fucking Force Works. Or Silver Sable and the Wild Pack. Or Super Soldiers. Or any of the other obsucre, awful comics from the 90s I've been reading. Fine!

But what I don't understand is the volume of people who have read all of Alpha Flight who think these are completely unforgivable, awful actions, when they barely rank a D tier to me in the grand scheme of comic book crimes. Like, okay. In issues #59 and #60 of Marvel Team-Up, Spider-Man teams up with Yellowjacket and Wasp, and over the course of those issues, we learned Hank injected Janet with like, extra Wasp DNA to make her powers stronger while she was sleeping as a surprise anniversay present. And when Janet finds out, she's like, "😊 You're so thoughtful", and you're telling me the worst thing you've ever read is someone agreeing to change someone's powers very slightly to not be reliant on the twin brother she has an incredibly fraught relationship with, a twin brother who purposefully tried to force you into a wild bloodlust to scare his sister so he could be the sole person she trusted??? That's the worst thing you've ever read????And I was under the impression that only weird people who read a lot of comics and are naturally used to this sort of thing read Alpha Flight, but I guess not??

Whatever. I guess I just expected a lot more and a lot worse in the grand scheme of comic books from the way people were talking about them and this relationship, but while I don't like, think these two are good for each other, or should stay together, their relationship at most just seems like regular John Byrne shenanigans, and I've read too many John Byrne comics for that to phase me. Did you guys go from reading slice of life webcomics to Alpha Flight with no in between? Sasquatch doesn't even leave Aurora to die in the Antarctic like Rogue did with Gambit (Uncanny X-Men #350)....

[fakevariety]

today has beennnnn hmmmmmmmm

[stardustedknuckles]

I had to call out of work for major dehydration reasons (AC is out and I work with dogs, I'll be fine once it's fixed) but damn I AM kinda glad I won't have to keep telling my coworkers to shut the hell up about all the results as they're counted lest I dissolve into a puddle of stress and go down the floor drains with the pee and shit tbh.

[blue-banditt]

"wow you're acting kinda.. slow today. Are you good?" Ok yeah just call me out for being depressed I guess

[elytrafemme]

hi so. i don’t know how to best describe this which is why i’m not really able to seek out these sources on my own but. would anybody happen to know more about like... plurality (not systemhood, but like, having other people around) in BPD? because i’m wondering if that’s something i should uh read up about.

[viewmonster-deactivated20230122]

to be honest i find a lot of the things on that poll unfunny at best and godawful annoying at worst. g*ncharov was the most annoying shit ever, the colour theory joke is overdone, the colour of the sky post is ages old now please let it die, etc etc

[goodpointsandbadpoints]

mmmm I disagree. but I can see that this is a nuanced conversation. it seems like the core issue here is with saying "if you used to read a lot, you were dissociating," which is a broad generalization to make.

[extendedpain]

🫡🔫

[eatember]

Yeah my sense of self is WAY too fragile to fuck around with ai images oh boy

[thethingything]

I keep noticing our brain being a little iffy about a couple of things today that I think we'd been repressing a lot lately and that's not ideal because it means we'll probably unrepress it more and be upset about it later, but at the same time it's like, oh hello there, I know this particular sadness. I've spent a lot of time with it and I recognise it whenever it comes back and I'm less surprised to see it again and more surprised it went away for this long. time to spend another evening with it and be gentle with ourselves and just let our brain feel whatever it needs to

[kindacreepy-kindaugly]

If I absolutely have to feel like shit could it at least be cause I let it happen again instead of cause I feel like I didn't do good enough

[dukeofankh]

I cannot express how jarring it was after being raised by a "Porn Addiction Coach" to get into a relationship with a woman and come face to face with the fact that she did actually want me to sexually desire her.

Like, in Evangelical Purity Culture, male desire was basically poison. It was a threat. It was this constant temptation that would destroy everything. And even after leaving, in the sort of queer, feminist spaces i spend most of my time in that wasn't something that pretty much anyone was spending time actively dissuading me from feeling.

But my desire is good. It's not something that I'm being accepted in spite of. It's a positive thing. It's a bonus. Not even just vanilla stuff, all the stuff I'd convinced myself were these weird terrible desires that were shameful to have.

It honestly took me over a decade to fully accept that. To stop dissociating during sex and confront that I was, in fact, being a massive perv and that was fantastic and preferable and that I could accept that into my self-image without shame or self hatred.

But it's important to do. It's important to leave relationships that don't welcome that part of you. To know that your sexuality is valuable and valid and worth owning and celebrating. Because the alternative is just...not being. Either existing as yourself and repressing the part of your identity that is sexual or allowing that sexuality to exist but turning off your self while it does.

[infiniteglitterfall]

know someone who enjoys horror stories? share this one! it's true!

hahahahahahahahahaha aarrggghhhhhhhhhh 3,000,000 deaths due to COVID-19 last year. Globally. Three million. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. The reason people are still worried about COVID is because it has a way of quietly fucking up your body. And the risk is cumulative.

I'm going to say that again: the risk is cumulative.

It's not just that a lot of people get bad long-term effects from it. One in seven or so? Enough that it's kind of the Russian Roulette of diseases. It's also that the more times you get it, the higher that risk becomes. Like if each time you survived Russian Roulette, the empty chamber was removed from the gun entirely. The worst part is that, psychologically, we have the absolute opposite reaction. If we survive something with no ill effects, we assume it's pretty safe. It is really, really hard to override that sense of, "Ok, well, I got it and now I probably have a lot of immunity and also it wasn't that bad." It is not a respiratory disease. Airborne, yes. Respiratory disease, no: not a cold, not a flu, not RSV.

Like measles (or maybe chickenpox?), it starts with respiratory symptoms. And then it moves to other parts of your body. It seems to target the lungs, the digestive system, the heart, and the brain the most.

It also hits the immune system really hard - a lot of people are suddenly more susceptible to completely unrelated viruses. People get brain fog, migraines, forget things they used to know.

(I really, really hate that it can cross the blood-brain barrier. NOTHING SHOULD EVER CROSS THE BLOOD-BRAIN BARRIER IT IS THERE FOR A REASON.) Anecdotal examples of this shit are horrifying. I've seen people talk about coworkers who've had COVID five or more times, and now their work... just often doesn't make sense? They send emails that say things like, "Sorry, I didn't mean Los Angeles, I meant Los Angeles."

Or they insist they've never heard of some project that they were actually in charge of a year or two before.

Or their work is just kind of falling apart, and they don't seem to be aware of it.

People talk about how they don't want to get the person in trouble, so their team just works around it. Or they describe neighbors and relatives who had COVID repeatedly, were nearly hospitalized, talked about how incredibly sick they felt at the time... and now swear they've only had it once and it wasn't bad, they barely even noticed it.

(As someone who lived with severe dissociation for most of my life, this is a genuinely terrifying idea to me. I've already spent my whole life being like, "but what if I told them that already? but what if I did do that? what if that did happen to me and I just don't remember?") One of its known effects in the brain is to increase impulsivity and risk-taking, which is real fucking convenient honestly. What a fantastic fucking mutation. So happy for it on that one. Yes, please make it seem less important to wear a mask and get vaccinated. I'm not screaming internally at all now.

I saw a tweet from someone last year whose family hadn't had COVID yet, who were still masking in public, including school.

She said that her son was no kind of an athlete. Solidly bottom middle of the pack in gym.

And suddenly, this year, he was absolutely blowing past all the other kids who had to run the mile. He wasn't running any faster. His times weren't fantastic or anything. It's just that the rest of the kids were worse than him now. For some reason. I think about that a lot. (Like my incredibly active six-year-old getting a cold, and suddenly developing post-viral asthma that looked like pneumonia.

He went back to school the day before yesterday, after being home for a month and using preventative inhalers for almost week.

He told me that it was GREAT - except that he couldn't run as much at recess, because he immediately got really tired. Like how I went outside with him to do some yard work and felt like my body couldn't figure out how to increase breathing and heart rate.

I wasn't physically out of breath, but I felt like I was out of breath. That COVID feeling people describe, of "I'm not getting enough air." Except that I didn't have that problem when I had COVID.) Some people don't observe any long (or medium) term side effects after they have it.

But researchers have found viral reservoirs of COVID-19 in everyone they've studied who had it.

It just seems to hang out, dormant, for... well, longer than we've had an opportunity to observe it, so far.

(I definitely watched that literal horror movie. I think that's an entire genre. The alien dormant under ice in the Arctic.)

(oh hey I don't like that either!!!!!!!!!) All of which is to explain why we should still care about avoiding it, and how it manages to still cause excess deaths. Measuring excess deaths has been a standard tool in public health for a long time.

We know how many people usually die from all different causes, every year. So we can tell if, for example, deaths from heart disease have gone way up in the past three years, and look for reasons. Those are excess deaths: deaths that, four years ago, would not have happened. During the pandemic, excess death rates have been a really important tool. For all sorts of reasons. Like, sometimes people die from COVID without ever getting tested, and the official cause is listed as something else because nobody knows they had COVID. But also, people are dying from cardiovascular illness much younger now.

People are having strokes and heart attacks younger, and more often, than they did before the pandemic started. COVID causes a lot of problems. And some of those problems kill people. And some of them make it easier for other things to kill us. Lung damage from COVID leading to lungs collapsing, or to pneumonia, or to a pulmonary embolism, for example. The Economist built a machine-learning model with a 95% confidence interval that gauges excess death statistics around the world, to tell them what the true toll of the ongoing COVID pandemic has been so far.

Total excess deaths globally in 2023: Three million.

3,000,000.

Official COVID-19 deaths globally so far: Seven million. 7,000,000. Total excess deaths during COVID so far: Thirty-five point two million. 35,200,000.

Five times as many.

That's bad. I don't like that at all. I'm glad last year was less than a tenth of that. I'm not particularly confident about that continuing, though, because last year we started a period of really high COVID transmission. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. Here's their data, and charts you can play with, and links to detailed information on how they did all of this:

Here's a non-paywalled link to it:

https://archive.vn/2024.01.26-012536/https://www.economist.com/graphic-detail/coronavirus-excess-deaths-estimates

Oh: here's a link to where you can buy comfy, effective N95 masks in all sizes:

Those ones are about a buck each after shipping - about $30 for a box of 30. They also have sample packs for a dollar, so you can try a couple of different sizes and styles.

You can wear an N95 mask for about 40 total hours before the effectiveness really drops, so that's like a dollar for a week of wear.

They're also family-owned and have cat-shaped masks and I really love them. These ones are cuter and in a much wider range of colors, prints, and styles, but they're also more expensive; they range from $1.80 to $3 for a mask. ($18-$30 for a box of ten.)

[melminli]

I LOVEDDDDDDD your Thanos “bang bang bang” post and it made me very curious abt how they know eo and stuff and like I’d love to read more about it in general if you don’t mind. It’s so great and I love your writing <333 have a fun day / night 🫶🏻

BANG BANG BANG ll

summary - thanos was always just such an easy person to argue with. you really hated the guy and that was something that was never going to change, even if your life was on the line and it fucking was.

pairing: (thanos) choi su-bong x fem. reader

word count: 1.8k

contains: violence, angst, death, drug use and addiction, dark content - just usual squid game stuff really

a/n: ty so much! this turned out kinda freaky but that is because thanos is a freak so, i didn't really have a choice.

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There was an eerie silence among all the participants for the first few seconds after the first death happened. The realization of what this meant for everyone present slowly sank in, and you thought that maybe the crazy man with all his screaming, wasn't quite as crazy as you originally thought. The real madman was probably the person somewhere upstairs or - you didn't know exactly where, but you knew that they were watching you.

“Don't move!” His voice shouted again, but this time with a completely different force. It may be that this was the most logical conclusion one could draw from what had just happened, but some seemed to throw all logic out of the window as soon as the fear of death hit. It only took one person to panic to set off a domino effect and from one second to the next loud gunshots could be heard, following the fearful screams of one person after another. The participants were being slaughtered like frightened animals in a cage, what kind of sick game was really going on here?

You too began to tremble as you looked down at the floor, dissociating and trying to ignore your surroundings as best you could. You had to stop yourself from flinching when the person right next to you was killed, even as you felt his still warm blood covering your cheek, even as a small river of it started pooling around your foot. You were most likely going to leave a trace of him all over the ground as soon as you started walking again - whoever he was. It didn't take very long for everyone who had moved to be shot, maybe half a minute - and yet it must have been the worst half minute of your life so far.

“Don't you dare move,” Thanos said in a voice you weren't used to hearing from him. “I'm serious, don't make me mad.”

You just looked at his back from behind, with a tense posture while you tried to regain control of your breathing again. Finally, there was complete silence on the pitch again. Even if it wasn't an entirely welcome silence.

The voice from the loudspeakers began to speak again and you already knew that this would be a voice that would haunt you in your nightmares. “Let me repeat: You can move forward while the tagger shouts, Green light, red light. If your movement is detected afterward, you will be eliminated.”

Ah, so that's what you meant with eliminated. A bit literal but no biggie! The game continued, but no one really dared to move a muscle even when the puppet looked away. You then saw Thanos shift slightly out of the corner of your eye and noticed that he was pulling his cross necklace out of his t-shirt. Safe to say, that you could barely believe what you were seeing right before your very eyes. You've got to be kidding me, they took everything we had from us, but he was allowed to keep that old thing? “Are you seriously going to take that stuff now?” you whispered in disbelief but didn't really judge him for it. You were this close to just laughing out loud at the absurdity of the scene, but you didn't.

“You don't have to be jealous, sweetheart,” he replied with slightly shaky hands as he stopped his movement abruptly when the doll finished talking. He just stared longingly at the colorful pills in front of him. “I don't mind sharing with you, you know that.”

You sighed inwardly at the thing you were about to do. You had been clean for maybe about three years by now and quitting drugs of any kind overnight was fucking hard - definitely one of the hardest things you had to do in your life. On the other hand, your life was still as shitty as before, the only difference being that you were now consciously depressed and unhappy, so who cares? You could die every second anyway. “Thanks.” you just said after taking the pill out of his hand and threw the thing as quickly as possible in your mouth as soon as the doll looked away. Yeah, you were the biggest hypocrite on earth, old news.

It only took maybe a few seconds after that for you to feel the effects of the pill and then finally, all the stress started to dissipate. Your muscles relaxed, all the shouting about whatever felt like a soft pillow hugging you and the weird laying positions of the dead around you suddenly seemed incredibly funny. These were really strong pills, you could practically feel your whole body tingling. “Why are they all suddenly forming a line?” you asked with a grin and Thanos just hummed, not knowing the answer himself. “No idea, but watch this,” he said and waited until the puppet had turned towards you to push the person next to him, causing everyone in front of them to fall over too. “Ding! You lost,” he told them while wiggling his eyebrows and smirking after he watched them get shot.

You didn't even try to stifle your laughter at the scene. “You really are such an asshole.” you replied, shoving him aside this time after the doll averted its gaze. You then ran away as fast and as far away as you could so that he couldn't take revenge on you for what you had just done. However, you quickly stopped moving with both hands in the air as soon as the girlish voice emitted red light as if you were surrendering to her. You stifled your grin and pretty much failed when you noticed a slightly older woman standing relatively close to you. “Hey, are you trying to hide behind me to use me as a shield?” you spoke out without moving your mouth much and watched as she began to sweat more after you realized what she was doing. Still, she didn't pay you any further attention. “And now you're ignoring me too?” you spat out annoyed and grabbed her by the arm when you were free to move and pulled her in front of you against her will.

She tried to fight you off but you forced her further forward while she tried to defend herself. “You're older than me, aren't you ashamed of yourself?” You asked her and stopped walking before the robot's face turned towards you.

Number 57, who was still resisting your grip, stumbled a little to the side when you suddenly let go of her. She was about to howl in delight when she noticed how everyone else stood still. “No…” she mumbled out fearfully. “It's because of that bitch! I didn't -” she tried to defend herself to someone as she looked around the room, but her head caught the bullet before she could even finish her sentence.

“I may be a bitch, but at least I'm still alive.” you sang to her dead body on the floor before running past her. You didn't know how much time was left, but you had almost made it to the finish line anyway. You stopped with your back to the robot girl this time and it didn't take you long to spot the purple hair in the crowd. “Su-bong!” you shouted his name, since you had somehow gotten separated while running. You waited until he yelled back with a what?! “Last one there, gets fucked in the ass!” you yelled out without any shame or filter and saw his facial expression turn serious at the challenge. “Let's Go!”

The whole game went by relatively quickly once you took the pill from Thanos. It was actually quite fun, you thought to yourself as you both jumped around like two crazy people with grinning faces, waving your arms around wildly. I know it's not socially acceptable to say this, but I fucking love doing drugs! It was like everything around you was happening in slow motion and all the decisions you made felt foggy, like you didn't even realize what you were doing.

You loved being this person, it felt great to forget everything and just - not think. “I have won! No, really! You crossed the line two steps after me, I saw it!” you exclaimed before Thanos could object to a single thing. “Didn't anyone else see that?” you exclaimed in disbelief as if the others weren't busy staying alive while watching several others die right before their faces. You didn't care about the looks they gave you as you waved your hand. “No, they definitely saw it. I won.”

Thanos just gave in with a heavy sigh and a roll of his eyes. “Yeah yeah, I'm getting fucked in the ass which is gay, very funny.” he just mumbled to himself annoyed, and continued to avoid your gaze, but couldn't help grin again when you slapped him on the shoulder laughing. “Hey, why did we stop doing all this again?” he asked you when he couldn't remember the reason. All he knew was that he hadn't had this much fun in a long time, even though he knew that he always had a great time with you - no matter what.

You laughed. “Oh, that's because you promised me that we'd both get clean together, and then you spent the money I gave you for rehab on more drugs behind my back.“ you laughed along with him, even if Thanos frowned a little at the memory and you started to smile forcedly after remembering again how he had betrayed you. “Or what was it again? Was it something about that Youtuber you told me about…” you mumbled to yourself obliviously, feeling any sense of happiness begin to fade. You finally gave up, the details weren't that important anyway. “It doesn't really matter though, right? In any case, you used the money for something else, whatever it was. Even though you knew how hard I worked for it - hell, I didn't even eat most days to scrape it together, man.” you stated while you looked him in the face, even though he averted his gaze from you. “That's just fucked up dude.”

Exactly. You actually hated being this person. You might not remember it right now, but you would as soon as the effects of the pill wore off, which hopefully wasn't soon. You really hoped it wasn't soon, because you didn't want to be aware of anything that had happened today.

next.

[slvttyplum]

sometimes watching was just enough for tengen to get off; that's how sexy you were to him. he didn't have to have his dick in you for him to get off; that face was all he needed.

"enough, ten! untie me." your words barely getting out, your vision blurry, and your heart beating so hard you could hear it right in your ears.

tengen with arms folded, walking up to the fucking machine and pushing the nozzle, increasing the speed of the dildo, your eyes going wide and your body squirming.

there was a catch, of course; you had a beautiful face, but there was something much more intense with watching something else fuck you.

he got off controlling the way you got off, whether that be telling you to keep riding your dildo whenever he caught you or putting a wand on your clit and letting it stay there until you were bursting with tears, and if he was in the mood to see you on your last breath, the fucking machine.

tying your hands behind your back and turning on the machine, watching it fuck you at a speed that he was okay to admit couldn't compete, but he was in control, and that was all that mattered.

sweat dripping from your forehead as the dildo gets faster, your walls squeezing around it as you cum for the tenth time, losing track as tengen watches with a smirk on his face.

your sweet voice begging for him to turn it off or at the very least to turn it down a few notches. as much as he loved the sound of your begging and moans.

he just couldn't bring himself to turn the nozzle down; instead, he turned it up, now wanting to turn that sweat into tears. he wasn't stopping until he got you there.

his mouth salivating from the pleasure he was getting from watching you, not one touch to his body, nor was he playing with himself, yet he still found himself leaking cum.

"fuck, look at you. how can i turn it up when you're looking at me like that?" kneeling down as he turns the nozzle up more, watching you get teary-eyed as the dildo rams into you harder, the sexy look of dissociation coating your face.

you couldn't even beg anymore; your mouth wouldn't even open correctly to say words; it was just open, drool dripping out the corner of your mouth as your body jerked back and forth.

tengen in front of you, watching, taking everything in. knowing he taught you well, taught you how to take every inch while still looking as sexy as you did.

finishing in his pants for the fifth time in the same night without hands, he was committed to watching you get fucked out of your mind on his accord.