#it was written several years after this series so it might be better? and i like the premise and the cover...

[six-of-ravens]

slightly belated list of goals for today:

finish this page of this site (I'm like 75% of the way through it) and that one task a client sent this morning (grudgingly)

finish Masquerade (I'm 105 pages in but once again skimming a lot bc the writing style seems to have backslid...I think I just get used to it after about an hour of reading and it doesn't seem so bad but right now? bleh)

write 2000 words for nano (barely wrote 20 last night bc I got distracted by youtube OTL)

exercise bike

[bogleech]

Also going to finally make a pinned post for all my stuff:

BOGLEECH - my tumblr blog is named after this website I created around 2002 and still update. Thousands of pages worth of content focusing on creature design as well as real biology. My review of the original Legend of Zelda monsters might be the most straightforward example of my articles. Links to some of the most popular content:

POKEMON REVIEW ARCHIVE: - I rate and review each and every single Pokemon, in Pokedex order, on its merits as a creature design. I also do so as someone whose favorite animals are all parasites.

DIGIMON REVIEW ARCHIVE - same, but more chaotic.

CREEPYPASTA COOKOFF ARCHIVE - for several years I hosted a yearly writing contest before it grew too big for me to keep up with. There are over a thousand user submitted horror, fantasy, sci fi and surrealist stories here emphasizing unconventional, original ideas you seldom see from the "creepypasta" community!

The original "MORTASHEEN" Monster Archive - since the early 2000's I've created and illustrated more than 800 creatures and counting for my own monster-catching world, now set for release as a tabletop RPG setting.

AWFUL HOSPITAL: SERIOUSLY THE WORST EVER (page one): an interactive comedy-horror-sci-fi webcomic I started in 2014 about a medical facility that could maybe be better.

Some of my other internet stuff:

PATREON - constant work makes my patreon updates inconsistent, but the content backlog goes back years with a huge amount of exclusive art and writing. I try to put up new exclusive stuff whenever I can.

ETSY - I design all sorts of original enamel pins like these, plus I sell zero-maintenance terrarium plants (just leave them in a jar!), original books and other things!

COLOR THE ABYSS (available on the above etsy!) - a 30 page educational deep sea coloring book! Includes a few famous favorites like giant isopods and hagfish, but mostly focuses on less popular, often much weirder animals.

UNBELIEVABLE BUGS - also regularly restocked in the etsy store, 30 of the strangest and most surprising arthropods most people have likely never heard of, illustrated by myself and @revretch, written for even the youngest kids to understand (but will likely teach you something new at any age)

My Itch.io and Ko-fi - both sell digital versions of my books, including some creepypasta collections and my first novel, "Return of the Living," about a world of entirely ghosts suddenly dealing with the appearance of ghost-hunting monsters.

TWITCH CHANNEL - I now try to stream something at least monthly, sometimes weekly when possible, from horror games to books and art.

YOUTUBE CHANNEL - archives my twitch streams and other little things.

INSTAGRAM - look at pictures of my huge weird collection of toys and Halloween collectibles

BLUESKY - I'm going to put mainly just updates to my stuff on here. SEE ALSO:

HUMANS-B-GONE - a science fiction animated series by my partner @revretch, about a world of kaiju-size, technologically advanced insects and arachnids to whom vertebrates like us are just pesky little "gubs." Also has a tumblr account @humansbgone FINALLY, HERE'S MY GUIDE AND RESOURCE TO MAKING YOUR OWN INTERNET WEBSITE IN A FEW MINUTES WITH NO KNOWLEDGE OF CODING

[ploppythespaceship]

Uglies - Movie Thoughts

On a whim, I decided to start re-reading the Uglies series a couple months ago -- so imagine my surprise when I found out it was getting a movie! Said movie is now out, and it was interesting to watch with the book being so fresh in my head.

Overall, it's... eh. It's not a complete train wreck, the way most critics seem to want you to think, but it is fairly bland and uninspired. It's a very watered down version of the book. It also has the misfortune of feeling like yet another a Hunger Games wannabe, despite the original book pre-dating that series by several years.

Spoilers for everything under the cut.

What I Liked

Based on reviews, I seem to be in the minority here, but I thought the cast was pretty good. People seem to hate Joey King as Tally, but I thought she was fine. Brianne Tju is easily the best in the cast, stealing the whole damn movie as Shay. Laverne Cox also gives an excellent performance as Cable, though I do think she should not have been given that role for other reasons (which I'll get into later).

I've also seen complaints that the characters aren't ugly enough. They talk about how ugly they are and point out their specific ugly features, when they don't actually appear that ugly. And I think everyone complaining about that is completely missing the point. The "Uglies" aren't actually ugly -- they're just normal people, who've been conditioned to think their imperfect features are hideous.

I was honestly unsure how the Pretties would be visualized -- in fact, I wondered if the book would just be fundamentally unadaptable because of it -- but they did a fairly good job. I think leaning on CGI and unnatural affectations was the right way to go. All the Pretties have this uncanny quality to them that suits the story perfectly.

The overall production design was solid as well. I like how Uglyville is all gray concrete and muted tones, while New Pretty Town is shimmering golds. Then upon reaching the Smoke, all the colors of nature finally come through. I do think that could have pushed that last one a little bit more, but it still works well.

Apart from that, I don't really have much to shout out. It's competently written, well-performed, well put together. I know it doesn't sound like I have much praise, but it is a competent movie.

What I'm Mixed On

By far the biggest change from the book is Peris becoming a Special. And I'm torn on it. On the one hand, it does make him a bigger part of the story -- he's honestly not much more than an inciting incident in the book. It gives him and Tally a unique arc that's probably the strongest through-line in the story. On the other hand, the Specials as a concept are so under-cooked (more on that later) and the actor is so bland that it still doesn't quite land the way it's supposed to.

What I Didn't Like

The pacing of this movie is by far its worst issue. We are flying through this plot. There is no time for anything to breathe, for characters to develop meaningful connections, for the bigger moments to feel earned. Some things do make sense to condense -- Tally's journey to the Smoke would have been incredibly boring without her internal monologue, so condensing most of that into a montage makes sense. But I do feel we lost too much. That's where a lot of Tally's characterization comes out, where we can see her bravery and ingenuity -- none of that comes across in the movie.

A lot of important beats are rushed. Tally agreeing to help Dr. Cable is over in a flash. It feels like Tally's in the Smoke for all of fifteen minutes. Tally and David barely interact, so their relationship has no real stake. Everyone is kidnapped by Special Circumstances, and then rescued immediately after. I almost think a 5-6 episode mini-series would have worked better -- but that might have introduced the opposite problem, where everything takes too long.

The movie also has frequent montages that don't really work. It seems like they were trying to show the passage of time, but it just makes everything feel even shorter.

The beginning of the movie has an exposition problem, as well. It opens with a montage explaining the entire setting... before leading into several scenes that also explain the setting through dialogue. We get fed the same details about the surgery and the Rusties and the flowers at least three times at the start, and it gets grating.

As already mentioned, Tally is pretty severely underwritten. In the book, she has a distinct personality and a unique presence. In the movie, she's just the main character because she happens to be the main character. Her intelligence and resourcefulness are pretty much gone.

I also think changing her motivation for going to the Smoke did her a disservice. In the book, Tally goes to the Smoke so she can have her surgery, and because she's convinced herself that Shay needs her help. In the movie, Dr. Cable tells her that the Smokies have a weapon, and she will be saving lives by helping to find them. I think giving her a more selfless motivation robs her of her character arc. She always comes across as someone trying to help, who wants to best for other people, rather than someone who had to consciously learn that.

The Specials are barely even a presence. I'm not sure they were even directly called Specials. People who hadn't read the book would never realize that there was an entire separate status of person here. You never see their disturbingly beautiful faces or their terrifying strength. Considering how pivotal the Specials are to the overall story, especially in the later books, it's really odd not to see them properly established here.

Like I said, Laverne Cox gives an excellent performance as Dr. Cable... but I think they should have thought twice before casting a trans woman. It's not necessarily that there's a trans woman in the villainous role, but that there's a trans woman in the villainous role who specifically wants to force people to have surgeries to brainwash them. Like... did the optics of that really not occur to anyone? At all? I think Cox could have played David's mother, instead.

[oonajaeadira]

For the Love of Fic Joel Miller

It's been a time in my world. Busyness and writer's block has been troubling. I think a lot of it stems from just feeling behind in general, so I thought I might launch into a catch-up campaign for myself ... in reading fic.

And I had a lot of this fella to catch up on.

So hold onto your butts, my friends, because herein lies the fics I loved in my several weeks of just. reading. Joel. <3

Spinner by @insomniamamma Joel has such a caretaker streak in him that being observant and taking to a neuro-divergent reader rings so true. I love a huddling-for-warmth tale--I do so enjoy a good cuddle with a gruff broad man.

The Reason for the Season by @prolix-yuy Now here's a fun idiots-to-lovers take where one of the yearners is our Joel. When Ellie has questions about old traditions, he takes her to the other idiot--a school teacher with a warm smile and some yearns of her own. Aka you. I very much enjoyed this tale of finding the many varied and true meanings for the Holiday in all its forms.

Please Mister Please by @grogusmum Hazel imagines Joel as a kindred lovely soul, one that has a song of his own that brings sorrow, just like yours does you. But is seems he has a better song in mind....

Carpe Diem by @boliv-jenta I love that fic writers want nothing ore in the world than to tell Joel he's going to get taken care of and doesn't have a choice in the matter. I'm so glad this one afforded him the chance to actually speak and grab the moment...even with a little help from a friendly weed...

Year of Small Joys: A Quiet Night In by @keldabe-kriff I'm in love with this little slice of post-apocalypse life. It gives me hope that even if the world falls apart, there will still be the chance to find the quiet somewhere, and with someone...

Simple Pleasures by @julesonrecord Listen. i don't care if the info trail goes cold or not. If it means getting off with Joel--even this cranky, somber version of him--I already consider my self lucky.

Able by @ladamedusoif I have no doubt that a cane would come in handy during an apocalypse, and for many reasons. It's fun to watch Joel realize it too, and to walk the reader through one of the things he knows--a full-blown panic attack. Disabled reader represent!

Snooze by @tightjeansjavi Short. Sweet. Quiet. A soft drabble of everything I want--now that Joel is safe and sinking into a domestic life, he loves him some naps. And with naps comes warmth and lazy days, and a big ol' bear of a man to cuddle with.

Mine by @secretelephanttattoo I really really love this beautifully written meditation on Joel and Tess' relationship; how they share intimacy and how they won't. It's heartbreaking and beautiful and so very real.

When His Eyes Open by @undercoverpena A beautiful train of thought from Joel as he opens his eyes to find you awake next to him, thankful for what you represent in his life. It's so soft and wonderful. It's a drabble, but I could read a whole multi-chapter fic of this.

.

BY @something-tofightfor

Birthday Kiss #7: Joel Miller If I was stuck at the end of the world, I'd be thankful to have a Joel Miller to find me in the early hours, knowing exactly where I'd be and exactly what day it was, just to sing me a Happy Birthday.

Smutsgiving Feast 2023: Turkey - Joel Miller It's Thanksgiving in Jackson and Joel's been helping you get settled in after a traumatic past. Everything you need is here--family, an invitation, Joel carving a perfect turkey with his sleeves all rolled up...and perhaps there's more going on upstairs later....

Snow and Mistletoe (series) Rachael loves Christmas and I always look forward to her holiday fics since the coziness always comes through so strong in them. This series is no exception by far. A no-outbreak fic where you own a music store and Ellie's your niece and Sarah's her best friend and the two girls pull a parent trap on you and Joel in the very best way. It all unfolds against a backdrop of different holiday gatherings--social, work, family--and all of them sweet and beautiful and enticing in their own way. The season may be over, but this zinged me back in time a couple of months and I'm not mad about it. In fact, I'm thankful for it.

.

BY @missredherring

Wrong Until You Make it Right A yearning Joel is always good in my book, but the earnest way he years after his plus-sized coworker here is so very juicy and sweet. I love to see him watch a lady do what she does best.

J.M. + "Tell me what you like" I think if I was stuck at the end of the world and asked Joel Miller to read to me because I had no glasses and he said yes, I might die of happiness on the spot.

Warming Up Joel deserves a good teasing, which is a little of what he gets for sleeping in while you go outside to shovel and then return to his furry, heated body to warm up. and, of course, maybe get a little recreational. After all, nothing warms up cold hands like all the bits and pieces of a Joel Miller.

A Flower in February I really love this story. Rachel does a good job of placing you firmly in the QZ with all of its bleakness, giving you one spot of color--a crocus in the snow. After a spot of bad luck with some bad people, Joel's there to set things right--well, as right as it can be. And I'll take it, because in the world of TLOU, it's everything.

.

BY @ezrasbirdie

Observations This is so so sweet. Neuro-D reader is so observant about not being accepted or invited to be part of groups, it breaks my heart. But Joel sees her. Worries about her. Likes her. And he's getting better at pasta.

Sticky This one left me a mess. Maybe not as messy as the toy reader gives him to play with while she's gone or while she's on the phone, but I may have had to wipe the drool off my chin...

Crystal Now this one was made for me. Here we have a witchy reader and Joel has a lot of thoughts about her. Surprise though, because none of them are negative. They're curious and wondrous and endearing. He's bewildered by the hanging herbs and the rocks and oils, but they make her happy and that's all he asks. Sweet man.

Sparks Fly Two words: eating ass. That's what falls out of reader's mouth under the influence and perhaps that's a good slip because there's gonna be plenty going in her mouth--and Joel's--later on. And it's gonna be hot like fire.

.

BY @blueeyesatnight

There's a Word for It As Blue says in her notes, this is where she lives. As in, it's what she does best. This here is a no nonsense meditation on Joel and Tess and how they met and how they functioned. There may or may not have been a word for what they had...it was many words. And they're all here in order, comprising this fic.

Trimmed This fic hit something deep in me, the way it uses memory is really lovely and really feels steeped in canon. The little things we share with someone, not worth mentioning to anyone else, hard to put into words how meaningful it is to you personally or maybe you don't know until they're gone...or until a familiarity with someone else triggers it...

Trouble This is a masterclass in examining Ellie and Joel after they return to Jackson. It weaves in and out of their shared POVs, examining their feelings about who they've become, how they justify Joel's actions and words, who they are to each other, how far they can trust one another, and maybe how tainted that love is. But it's still love all the same. It's amazing and packs a really good punch.

Honest Mistake A short and sweet trope reversal where Joel makes an honest mistake and instead of retrieving Tommy from a situation, kidnaps a boss instead. I love the way the brothers' relationship comes out in the dialogue.

Trying This fic broke my heart a couple of times. Blue imagines the Joel of beforetimes and then bridges the gap to Tess. The man just keeps at it, over and over....because its' what he knows. It makes his arrangement with Tess and actual heaven and I thank her for it.

I Like My Girls A Little Bit Older - (Over the Hill pair) And I like that Joel likes it. He certainly has a type and the reader in this fic has a real sassy, no-nonsense attitude that can meet Joel's in a pretty good dance. And that last sentence may be a spoiler for this story...maybe...

I Know Just What You're Saying - (Over the Hill pair) I love that when Joel is having trouble understanding a teenage girl, he has the foresight to go talk to someone what WAS one once. And that he cares enough to ask for the biiggest favor...and that the reader has no choice but to give it to him.

I Thought I Could Be Someone - (Over the Hill pair) There are so many forms of grief and some of them come out of nowhere from sources you never even knew. Blue does beautiful job in finding that moment here, all wrapped up in an unexpected softness from Joel. This is my favorite of the series yet.

Just Like Heaven - (Over the Hill pair) This brought me back to being a teenager, that "does he like me or want to keep me at arm's length" feeling, that "should I kiss him or is he gonna kiss me" feeling. Of course I get the ending I'm hoping for though! Blue is not gonna leave us hanging when it comes to Joel Miller.

That Summer Seemed to Last Forever - (Over the Hill pair) I still don't forgive Blue for this one. How dare she make me love so bittersweet? That's not to say it isn't beautiful and artfully done. Grab yer hankies, all.

.

BY @morallyinept

O' Christmas Tree by @morallyinept This is a precious, delicate story, one in which Joel loves so deeply and hurts so much that the thought of losing you--a real possibility since you've been very ill. But he'd do pretty much anything to see you smile, even if it means facing down a day int he cold to bringyou something to warm your heart.

Northern Lights Imagine camping with Joel. Sharing a sleeping bag. Under the aurora. Hand stuff in the wild has never been so sweet and hot.

Saviour Harsh and heartbreaking and real, this Joel is almost beyond help and I love the way Jett so beautifully details the many little deaths of a survivor. Angst to spare here, but true to character all the way.

Adoration Imagine you are married to no-outbreak, breast-man Joel. Happy. Loved. With a lump. I'm so awed by this fic, that Jett takes a very common nightmare and examines it, never sugar-coating, never denying the difficulties. It's a hard process and maybe I cried. But then there's Joel and his beautiful, steady consistency. I've never been more in love.

Home I can't imagine the love of my life just disappearing one day...but Jett can. Don't worry though, there's a happy ending waiting for you.

.

BY @maggiemayhemnj

Happy Tuesday There's no need for Valentine's Day if there's a Happy Tuesday. I love this take on a couple who know how sappy they are for each other but make a joke of subverting the sap. A no-outbreak Joel who's still 20 years on, 20 years in love, and 20 years loving it. Which is exactly how long I'll be loving these two.

A mini Happy Tuesday interlude (Spring prompt: Bees) - (Happy Tuesday pair) Maggie's damn good with a drabble, but even better with a good ending line. I smile every time.

He Sees You - (Happy Tuesday pair) If this is what goes through Joel's head as he watches you assess yourself in the mirror, then that man is in L O V E love.

Breakfast Is Served - (Happy Tuesday pair) I would do anything to be able to cook well, if only to be able to make biscuits for Joel Miller so we can sit at the table with messy bed head and use breakfast as Sunday foreplay.

.

[cosmitton]

seeing a cute boy outside of a restaurant at night

Johan Seong x F!Reader (foreigner)

A/N: I haven’t written in so long and this is the first thing I’ve ever written for Lookism, so I’m nervous lol. The reader in this is described to be a foreigner, but I don’t describe what she looks like, so I hope that’s okay. She’s based off of one of my Lookism OCs but I thought it’d be better to write it as a Reader instead. I also won’t be using (Y/N) or anything like that bc I think it takes away from the flow of the writing/dialogue. Also, I think this takes place a little after the God Dog arc where Johan’s on his own again.

It’s not really romantic in this, but I’m thinking of making this a sort of series of one shots with this Reader specifically. Please lmk if Johan is OOC, bc I’m not confident in writing him haha. Anyways, hope you enjoy! c:

The nights are still cold at this time of year in Seoul. Not that you can really feel it at this point from where you are, starting the process of cleaning up and closing the restaurant. After having been cooped up in the small kitchen in the back of the hole-in-the-wall building you work at, finally done cooking after several hours, the space is well and truly stuffy by now. You were even a bit sweaty, in contrast to the people you can see pass by the windows outside that are trying to stay bundled up against the wind chill.

“Alright,” your boss walks into the back to join you, “you’ve been holed up in here long enough, I’ll take care of this. You go deal with the front.”

As if it’s ingrained in his mind as instinct, he swats at your back with the hand towel he grabs before you can protest that you can do it yourself and he should rest. You laugh slightly at the older man, deciding that you’re too tired anyway to argue with him right now.

You leave behind what you were working on to go out into the front of house in order to count down the register and go about cleaning and packing up the floors and tables. You work silently, comforted by the sound of your boss cleaning in the back and the distant hum of life filtering in from behind the windows and locked door.

“Mr. Terrence,” you call as you walk toward the back doors, “I’ll take the trash out now.”

“Thanks, kid.” He replies as you grab the black bags in both hands.

It’s as you walk outside, hit by the cold and slightly regretting not grabbing your jacket first, that you see him. A slim, brown-haired boy sitting by the mouth of the alley between your workplace and the building next door. He’s curled up like he’s trying to hide, in a way, with his knees drawn up tight and facing slightly away from you. When you glance over at what he’s looking at, you see two small dogs not far from him.

You try not to stare as you pass by, but it is weird to you. There’s not usually anyone out here, especially at this time of night and in this weather – and if there is, they’re usually not here for any good reason. It’s not your business, you try to remind yourself, and you can’t afford to be getting caught up in anything bad that might be happening.

Although, that doesn’t seem right, either. This boy is just sitting alone on the ground, watching – presumably – his two dogs and still hasn’t even looked up at you. He doesn’t seem the type to be here for any salacious reason, which makes the only other conclusion that comes to your mind much more heartbreaking – he’s here because he has nowhere else to go. You could be wrong, but the way he was dressed (yes, he had a jacket, but not thick enough for this cold) and had only his dogs and a single backpack sat at his side just hit your instincts in a certain way. You couldn’t see his face, but he looked slim – probably not starving, but clearly not eating as much as you preferred for a young person to be eating. (Distantly, you think about how Mr. Terrence would make fun of you for thinking this despite the fact that you are also a “young person”.) His dogs also looked skinny, and even if you didn’t care about this boy, you couldn’t in good conscience let animals go without food.

With that thought, you made up your mind and quickly threw away the trash and made your way back into the restaurant to head straight toward the kitchen.

“Mr. Terrence,” your boss jumped as you burst back into the room again, “sorry. I was wondering if you finished packing everything up?”

“Nearly there,” the older man watched as you scuttled about the kitchen to grab a to go box from under the counter and start filling it with food. “Oh, no,” he scoffs lightly, “not another stray. If you keep feedin’ ‘em, they’ll keep comin’ back expectin’ more.”

“A stray and his strays, yeah.” You continue, ignoring his scoff because you know he could stop you if he was really that bothered by it.

“What?”

“Some guy and his dogs.”

“Ohhh~” you don’t need to look up to face him, because you can hear the smug smile in his voice, “a boy, huh~? No wonder you’re so eager.”

You resist the urge to fling some of the food at him, “shut up. You know it isn’t like that.”

He’s already stopped listening to you, having made up his mind about your intentions, “uh-huh, sure.”

You don’t bother to reply, finished with packing up the to go box now and not trying to play his games. You make your way back toward the doors, hoping the boy and his dogs hadn’t left already. He’s still there, thankfully, when you get outside – again regretting that you forgot to grab your jacket, but somehow remembered to grab the dog treats you keep in your bag for any stray you might come across – and still not looking up. You make your way over to the boy with your shoulders hiked up in a weak attempt to shield yourself against the wind, trying to walk around into his sight so that you don’t sneak up on him.

One of his dogs notices you first, a little thing with pink ears, and seems to watch your approach cautiously. The boy notices and whips his head around immediately, as if he was trying to catch you, and you pause for a moment at the way he looks at you like you might be a threat. He looks to be around your age, with a pretty face and puppy eyes, but he scowls at you in a way that makes him seem older – weathered and weary from past experience. Oof, you think as you try to figure out how best to approach him, a standoffish one, then.

“Hey,” you greet lightly, “sorry to bother you. I work at this restaurant and I was wondering if you wanted to take these leftovers off my hands so we don’t have to waste them by throwing them away.”

You don’t actually have to throw away the leftovers, of course, but you’re banking on him not knowing that because he seems like the type to not take handouts unless it’s phrased as if he’d be doing you a favor instead. Before the boy can answer, though, the dog with pink ears walks up to you first. You kneel down to its level, putting your hand out to let it sniff you before you try to pet it.

“Hi, puppy~!” You can’t help the high-pitched baby voice you use to talk to animals, it’s instinct at this point and you refuse to feel embarrassed about it.

The other white dog that’s wearing a sweater is still hanging back, looking like it’s shivering, but you can’t tell if that’s from the cold or if that’s just natural. You set the to go box down beside you, petting the pink-eared dog with one hand while you wrestle the dog treats out of your pocket with the other. The pup is fully excited now, tail wagging so hard that it’s almost throwing the dog off its feet, while you feed the treats to it, eagerly.

You realize that you pretty much forgot about the boy when his voice makes you jump, “her name is Miro.”

You look over, and he doesn’t seem to be scowling at you anymore, just watching you interact with his dog – still cautious, but not threatened.

“She’s cute,” you smile, “and your other dog?”

“He’s Eden.”

“Can I give him some treats?”

“He doesn’t like strangers much.”

“Well,” you shift slightly, waiting for permission to approach, “I’ll give them to you and you can give them to him, then.”

“Why?” He’s suspicious again - not in the same way that others here are when they see your face and know you’re an outsider - and you recognize it and it breaks your heart for him. (It seems a bit ridiculous for you to hurt for him, given that you don’t know him at all, but you do because you’ve seen it before and you know it at your core.)

“Because they deserve it. They all do.” You mean his dogs, specifically, but you also mean him and every other person like him.

He watches you for a moment more, and you let him, but he doesn’t respond verbally – just shrugs and makes the smallest movement of his head to nod. You grab the to go box again, dog treats in the other hand, and rise to move toward him. He rises too, probably more comfortable with being at eye level than sitting – just in case. Miro is following at your feet, and you stop with a bit of distance between yourself and the boy. You hand him the dog treats first, glancing at Eden shaking a bit behind him, and he stuffs them into the pocket of his jacket. You try to hand him the to go box and that’s when he becomes suspicious again – obvious when you look him in the eye.

“I know it might be an inconvenience, but it’d really help if you could take these. It just seems like such a waste if we have to toss them.” He doesn’t believe you, you know he doesn’t just by how he looks at you, but neither of you are going to say it aloud.

He stares at you for a moment again, seeming to battle in his mind over whether to take it or not, but the hunger that you’re sure he’s feeling seems to win out. He takes it from you and, despite how reluctant he was to accept it in the first place, he immediately holds it close to him and slightly away from you as if you’re going to snatch it back.

You want to say more, but you’re not sure what and you don’t really have any more reason to since you accomplished what you came out here for. You think to ask his name and give him yours, but you feel like you might be pushing him with that. So, with nothing else that you can come up with, you start to back away.

“Thanks,” you smile at him again and look down at Miro and Eden, “bye puppies~!”

You think anything else would bother him, so with one last glance at the boy – who seems to be waiting for you to leave before he goes on with whatever his plans are – you fully turn back to the restaurant and go inside. You wish you had gotten his name, or had some way of checking up on him and Eden and Miro again just to make sure they’d be okay, but you just have to accept that it’s left up to fate now.

Who knows, you might meet him again one day.

[moonsandmobilityaids]

Marry Me - The Morning After

Pairings: Poly!marauders x disabled!reader Summary: You tell Sirius what he said the night before. Warnings: N/A, maybe slight jealousy Series Masterlist | Part 1 | Part 2

The morning comes gently, light seeping through the heavy curtains to cast a soft glow across the room. It illuminates the jumble of limbs on your bed, painting them golden in the dawn's embrace. James's arm is draped across your waist like a protective shield, his fingers twitching slightly in sleep. Sirius is nestled against you, his breath warm and steady against your neck, his arm thrown over both of you. And then there's Remus, curled up on your other side, his hand resting lightly on your hip as if to anchor himself to reality.

For a moment, you simply lie there, drinking in their warmth, the sound of their even breathing, the peace that hangs heavy in the early morning air. Outside, snowflakes continue to fall, silent and relentless, blanketing the world beyond your window in white. But inside, it's warm, safe—the chill kept at bay by the heat radiating from the boys sprawled around you.

Sirius stirs first, his grip unconsciously tightening around you as he shifts closer, burying his face into the crook of your neck with a sleepy murmur. His words are muffled, unintelligible, but the sentiment is clear in the way he instinctively seeks your warmth. Your heart swells as you reach up to brush a messy lock of hair away from his forehead, your fingers lingering on the cool skin beneath.

"Are you awake, Sirius?" you ask quietly, already feeling amusement bubble within you.

"Not yet," he mumbles, his voice a low rumble against your skin, the vibrations adding to the warmth that already surrounds you.

James is the next to stir. He blinks sleepily, lifting his head just enough to look around with bleary eyes. His glasses are slightly askew from sleep, but he doesn't bother to fix them. Instead, his gaze lands on Sirius, then shifts to you, and his lips curve into a lazy smile. "Morning, sweetheart," he murmurs, his voice gravelly with sleep.

"Morning," you reply, just as softly, not wanting to disturb the peaceful atmosphere that has settled over you all.

The last to wake is Remus. He groans gently from your other side, his body stretching out under the covers, every muscle in his body moving fluidly. His eyes remain closed for a moment longer, savouring the remnants of sleep before finally blinking them open. "Too early," he mutters, the corners of his mouth turning downward in a frown. It's clear he's not thrilled about being dragged from the comfort of sleep so soon.

Your laughter is a soft murmur, barely disturbing the quiet of the room. Sirius's back rises and falls under your hand, a steady rhythm lulling you both. "You said something interesting last night," you begin, your voice light, almost teasing.

He makes a noise that might be assent or simply the tail end of a dream. You wait a moment longer, allowing the words to seep into his consciousness before continuing.

"You proposed to me."

Sirius's head jerks up so quickly it startles you. His eyes, still heavy with sleep, blink open wide, the surprise in them mirroring the quickening pace of his heart beneath your fingers. "Wait—what?" His voice is rough, gravelly from sleep, as he tries to make sense of your words.

Next to you, James chuckles, the sound low and warm. He props himself up on one elbow, leaning closer to better see the shock written across Sirius's face. "Yeah, Pads. You told her you were gonna marry her—in your sleep."

Sirius’s face cycles through several stages of surprise, mortification, and denial. “I—what? I didn’t—did I?”

“Oh, you did,” Remus affirms, a thread of amusement woven through the rough texture of his voice. He shifts slightly, turning more towards the group with the blanket rustling over him. “And I have to say, it’s a bit hurtful. We’ve been together for two years, and you’ve never proposed to me while using me as a pillow.”

James nods solemnly, though the corners of his mouth twitch in a battle against laughter. “Same here. Not even once.”

A flush creeps up Sirius’s neck, staining his cheeks a rosy hue. His eyes dart around the room, confusion morphing into realization as he takes in their teasing expressions. "I—I didn’t—"

He rakes a hand through his hair, tugging at the dark strands in frustration. He looks from you to Remus, then to James, his mouth opening and closing without a sound.

"I didn't mean—I mean, I wasn't trying to... I—"

Your laughter spills out, bright and infectious, filling the room. The sound seems to thaw something inside Sirius, and he shoots you a look that hovers between annoyance and relief. But there's a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips, betraying his feigned irritation.

"You lot are insufferable," he mutters, though the warmth in his voice belies any true annoyance. He leans into you, his forehead resting against your shoulder as an arm snakes around your waist, pulling you closer. His breath fans out against your skin, slow and steady, a testament to the deepness of his sigh. "It was a dream. Doesn't count."

"Ah, but dreaming about marrying her?" James raises an eyebrow, his grin widening as he nudges Sirius with his elbow. "That's pretty serious, even for you."

Sirius groans, the sound muffled by the crook of your neck where he's buried his face. "Shut up, James."

"James does have a point," Remus muses, propping himself up on one elbow. His eyes, usually so warm and gentle, dance with mischief under furrowed brows. Pretending to be hurt, he places a hand over his heart. "I'm a bit offended we weren't included in these wedding plans."

"Absolutely," James agrees, nodding as if discussing a matter of grave importance. "I expect flowers and a heartfelt speech about why we didn't receive our own sleep-proposal."

You fight back a laugh, pressing your hand to your mouth as Sirius looks up, an exasperated scowl marking his features. "You two are insufferable."

"Better get used to it, Pads," Remus retorts, his smile easy and untroubled. "You're stuck with us, remember?"

For a moment, there's only silence, as if the universe itself holds its breath. Sirius, still flustered, can't seem to hold onto the pretence of annoyance any longer. He sighs, and you see the tension seep from his shoulders, replaced by something akin to relief. "Fine, fine," he mutters, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips. "Just so you know, I'd marry all three of you. Happily."

The statement hangs in the air, bold and unashamed. James and Remus both freeze, caught off-guard by the sudden sincerity in Sirius's voice. You feel his arm tighten around your waist ever so slightly, and it's not just the heat of the fire that warms you now. His words, spoken with a touch of humour but laced with an undeniable truth, resonate within the room.

"Well," James says after a moment, his voice softer than before, "that's good to know."

"Alright, alright, don't get all sentimental on us," Remus mumbles, his voice thick with sleep. But even as he protests, one hand emerges from under the blanket to rub Sirius's back—a simple gesture that speaks volumes.

Sirius chuckles, a low rumble against your side. "No promises."

You can't help but smile, fingers stilling in Sirius's hair. Around you, the warmth of bodies and the steady rhythm of breathing is comforting, familiar. The air is thick with unspoken affection, each breath a testament to the bond shared between you all. It's not perfect—nothing ever is—but for now, it's enough.

Sirius shifts again, his cheek resting on your chest now as he lets out a contented sigh. “I’m not planning any weddings, though,” he mumbles, his eyes already slipping shut again.

Remus’s laughter is soft, like the rustle of pages in an old book. He reaches out, his hand lightly brushing Sirius’s face, a small gesture that speaks volumes. “We’ll remember that, love.”

James chuckles, his eyes crinkling at the corners with amusement. He leans over Sirius, pressing a kiss to his temple, a silent vow between them. “Yeah, Pads. No more sleep proposals, okay?”

A smile tugs at the corners of your mouth, warmth spreading through you as you watch them. You glance down at Sirius, who's already drifting back into sleep, his body heavy and relaxed against yours. Then you turn your gaze to James and Remus, their faces softened by affection. “We’ll see.”

[ihatehugo]

hey!!! if you enjoy varian and the seven kingdoms please stop scrolling for just a moment!!!!

so i know there are multiple fanfiction creators who have written their own versions of vat7k and i love and have read each and every one of them

i decided i wanted to join in on the fun and so i’ve been working on my own version of vat7k for over a year now

i’ve split it into three books plus a prequel and a sequel. each book (minus the prequel & sequal) have 22 chapters each. the prequel & sequel will have around 1-10 chapters (it depends on how long the written portion is)

i wanted to make my series have a similar vibe to an actual tv show so the chapters will be posted as if they are episodes. for example, one chapter will be lore based and another will be similar to a filler episode.

sadly, i’m still working on it and it probably won’t be done anytime soon but i do have a decent portion of it created. i have an idea for what to put into each chapter and am working on the details of each chapter. i’ve also written a few snippets here and there and here’s one from the prequel, After Ever After:

Varian’s pacing. He knows he’s pacing but by the Sun, he’s angry. For years, he’s wanted to know more about his mother. For years, he’s begged to hear stories about her. For years, he’s lived off of the small scraps that his father gave to him, only to learn that he has been keeping a key component about his mother from him.

His mother’s journal sits before him on Xavier’s table, a deep forest green with a symbol engraved upon it. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say it's mocking him. Just when he made peace with the fact that nothing will ever change in Corona, this journal pops into existence as a big “fuck you!” to Varian’s mental wellbeing.

Xavier has been watching him patiently, having already picked his way through the journal. Varian stubbornly refuses to be the one to speak first but Xavier is just staring at him, his eyes following the path Varian is making into his floor.

Varian doesn’t speak for several more seconds before he demands: “So? What does it mean? What are the Seven Trials and why was my mom so obsessed with it?”

“Ah, yes, the Seven Trials,” Xavier enunciates. He rubs his chin as a faraway look passes over his face. “It is an old tale but one worth revisiting.”

“Oh, would you quit it?” Varian snaps. He stops pacing and stands across from Xavier, arms crossed and his foot tapping the ground repeatedly. “I really don’t want a long winded explanation right now.”

Xavier chuckles. “Very well. I will keep my story short. The Seven Trials were a test made long ago by Demanitus himself.”

Varian’s foot falls with a final thump. “Demanitus? My mom followed his studies too?”

“It would seem so.” Xavier gently picks up the journal and flicks through the pages. He stops about midway through the book and turns it for Varian to see. “And it also seems like she got very close to her goal.”

The entry on the page is annoyingly vague. The main phrases he gets from it are words he’s already read when he skimmed through it earlier. “The Eternal Library” particularly stands out to him. He could have sworn he heard it somewhere before.

When he rereads the paragraph, though, he puts together pieces that he had taken for granted before. Most of it doesn’t make any sense because she’s using key words only she obviously knows but Varian gets the gist of it. She completed all of the trials and found the location of the Eternal Library.

that’s all i have for that right now

if you have any questions, feel free to ask

and if you have suggestions, i’d be happy to hear them! i can’t promise any of them will make the cut but if they do, i’ll make sure to credit whoever’s idea it originally was

thank you for reading! if any of you are interested i might be able to post more snippets of it

[mislamicpearl]

(DRS2P2 SPOILERS)

Dragons Rising AU where everything is the same but Zane is written like an actual character. (also more screen time for Euphrasia)

Please reblog this post instead if you want to share.

Some explanations:

I've ranted several times before about how dissatisfied I've been with DR Zane. I just feel like he's so disconnected from the rest of the characters, like the writers don't really want him there but have to have him anyway because he's an OG and part of all the sets and all. So they find lame excuses to leave him behind, or render him useless, or treat him like an emotionless machine, or just give him the dumb comedic side plots like the Zane lookalike contest or babysitting a silly frog man. It's so frustrating seeing him treated this way as he was my favorite ninja when I was binging the series, and it wouldn't even take that much to give him more presence in the show. So these small scenes sort of just came to me in a rush and I had to draw them to cope.

It bothers me so much that Zane is the only one of the OG ninja aside from Jay (who's got amnesia) who doesn't get hugged whenever he reunites with the others. Like you can't even pretend it's because he's not a hugger or because the others feel weird about hugging him or something, because they've done so many times throughout the show before. So now to have them just kind of not make a big deal about seeing him again after years have passed makes it seem like they just don't care as much about him anymore?? So yeah, definitely had to rectify that. Didn't draw Kai and Nya hugging him because I already drew that awhile back.

I had made a post about Euphrasia taking Mr. Frohicky's role in the show instead, but I want to clarify this does NOT mean she would have his same status as a side character whose only job is taking care of the monastery, it's just to put her in a better position to be close to Zane and the other ninja and be more involved with main events. I think Zane could've really benefited from having a next gen kid to take under his wing like the others.

I feel like people might potentially take offense with me letting Zane be the one to catch the piece of training equipment before it could hit Lloyd, rather than the other way around, because that scene WAS cool and it showed how far Lloyd has come as a ninja master, so I don't necessarily want it changed; this was just the easiest way I could think of to show Zane having won the Element of Reflex (also he's still the one surprised by it while Lloyd is unfazed).

[linkspooky]

Tossing Yubel at you like they're a football for the Yugioh character ask meme C:<

Why I like them

I procrastinated this for days because I knew it was going to be long. Well, here we go.

So my favorite thing about Yubel is how unique they are? Literally any series that wasn't Yu-Gi-Oh would have just killed Yubel as another bad victim. Welp, it's too late to save them. If only we got to them earlier. Now I'm going to kill them while shedding a single tear of regret and then I'll go back to my happy life with all my friends.

I literally wrote an entire meta about this topic.

But no, Judai literally cannot progress as a character unless he saves Yubel. To begin with Judai is Yubel. They reflect each other in the worst way possible. Take Judai's friends away and he turns into the supreme king, so Judai has no moral highground to condemn Yubel for becoming what they became after they were forced to endure torture all alone in space for years.

Yubel isn't really written like an antagonist. I mean, they're literally Judai's spirit partner. Even if when they show up in the anime, they are a spirit partner who has been abandoned and now acts like a jilted lover.

Just the way they interact with the story too. A lot of mastermind characters rely on plot convenience, or they are plot devices to set the story into motions. Yubel is at all times a fully three dimmensional character.

Yubel's not a master manipulator controlling everything behind the scenes like an unseen puppeteer, but they are manipulative. We see them prey on several character's weaknesses several times with characters like Cobra and Amon. They're just good at reading people and take full advantage of that ability. This is also like, not something we're told, but shown. We see Yubel pick apart Amon entirely in the two times they duel.

Things go according to plan because Yubel is smart and adaptable, not because the plot needs these things to happen. Yubel doesn't always succeed either. They get defeated by Johan at first, and they need to retreat, and recoup their losses. At which point Yubel switches to plan B. They're not smart because they always succeed or saw everything coming to begin with, but because they have multiple contingencies to their plan. They knew they might be weakened by having to duel so many times in a row, so they set up Amon to succumb to the darkness in his heart so they can feed on said darkness later.

Yubel certainly does put Judai into situations, but in the end Judai's bad choices are all his own. Yubel just, knows Judai really well, better than anyone else in this whole world and they take full advantage of that fact. Yubel is fully aware of the flaws that Judai is blind too (because Yubel loves them wholeheartedly in spite of those flaws).

Yubel also just demonstrates like, a protagonist level of determination. You just cannot beat Yubel down. They burn up in space and then manage to survive even as a literal hand crawling on the ground. They get their body destroyed again and just take Johan's body. Their entire deck is built around the fact that you can't deal damage to their monsters. If you try you take damage instead. if you destroy their monsters, another, more powerful form comes out.

Which is just a metaphor for the fact that Judai cannot solve this situation by killing the victim. Yubel won't conveniently go away, because they are the symbol of Judai's flaws, and you don't make your flaws go away by ignoring them. In fact, Judai ignoring Yubel and failing to take responsibility makes HIM LOOK BAD because he's failing to be a hero or a good friend.

Everything in the whole series is set up that Judai is supposed to save Yubel. His deck is literally themed after heroes. Judai has the power of the gentle darkness, his whole theme is "Darkness can be used as a force for good, while light is corruption" flipping traditional light and dark themes on their head, and Yubel is like, also darkness.

Judai gives a speech to Cyrus on how even if his friend made all the wrong choices, he would stay by them until the end. When Judai becomes the supreme king, he's saved by O'Brien and Jim not because they wanted to be heroes but because they wanted to help their friend. Even Sho ends up watching Judai to the end because he remembers his advice.

The climax to the second season of the show was Edo despreately dueling to save his friend who was also completely corrupted by the light, and then begging judai to do so in his place when he failed. Edo and Saiou even temporarily combine into the same person when Saiou's good half helps Edo duel the light possessed Saiou.

It's just like wow look at hos with antagonist is weaved into every aspect of the story, and even goes back and makes the first two seasons seem like they were building up to this. Way to make everything that happens in season 3 one long journey to the moment where Judai will save Yubel.

The utlimate bad victim and as I said this is the Bad Victim Supporters blog.

I think also the way that Yubel is never painted as "Too far gone" and the way they are also right in several ways. Like Yubel's view of love is twisted but they also kind of show a deep understanding of it. You do in fact hurt the people you love from time to time. Yubel's love is actually just a twisted definition of empathy. They believe that the definition of love is suffering the same exact pain, and that's what empathy is, understanding someone else's suffering even though you're not them.

Yubel seems off their rocker, but like they are more mature in their understanding of love than Judai who's never had a healthy friendship until Johan came along and even then became too fixated on him.

Also just, the fusion scene at the end is the most beautiful act of true love I've ever seen in fiction. People can call it codependent and messy all they want but like... this is fiction. The whole point of Yubel is that they are a bad victim, but at the end of their story, Judai and Yubel are two bad victims who can go on a journey of self improvement together after they've been saved at their lowest points.

Yubel is to Judai a reflection of all of his worst qualities and everything he hates about himself, which is why Judai rejects them for so long but even though Yubel is so flawed they love Judai for all of his flaws and they accept all of him. You can be loved at your absolute worst and I think that's just. So gay.

What I like about their appearance

Yubel is a rebis which is a half man half woman alchemy symbol, and that's what I like the most about their appearance the symbolism associated with it. Literally the people who wrote GX did their research on alchemy and they wove it into almost every aspect of the story.

Also, Yubel looks like a devilman character, specifically Ryo Asuka which is really fucking cool.

Do I prefer their dub names or original names?

Same name. Though, I hate the dub version of Yubel. Completley different character.

OTP

Soulshipping.

NOTP

Don't have one.

OT3

This is probably an unpopular opinion but I don't actually ship any of the OT3s that are like, Judai / Yubel / Someone else. I don't Notp them or anything, I just like Judai and Yubel being the embodiment of "Hand in unlovable hand."

Favourite card they use

Yubel.

Their entire deck is symbolic of the fact that you can't put them down with physical violence, you can't make them go away, you have to accept them.

However, I also like the fact that Yubel runs like 3 diffeerent decks. Advanced Crstyal Beasts, Sacred Beasts, and Yubel. How often do we see Yu-Gi-Oh characters actually run different archetypes?

Favourite moment they were in

This entirescene and the super polymerization right after. it's probably my favorite scene in all of fiction tied with Spike hugging the cross in Buffy, I love it in in so many ways.

The way that Judai had been resolved to just kill Yubel to save the world before this. The way that this scene demonstrates what I've been saying above all along that while Yubel's love was twisted, it's genuine, and it's what humanizes them. The way that Yubel represents the best and worst aspects of love. The way that Judai like, instantly changes his mind after seeing this scene and decides to keep the promise he made in his past life.

I have various opinions on why he did that, but I think in the end he realized that Yubel's love was indeed genuine and unconditional. That love humanized Yubel in Judai's eyes finally, because love is what makes us all human.

Judai is also like giving Yubel what they wanted all along, which is a relationship between equals. Yubel gave up his personhood in order to protect Judai, and now Judai gives up part of his personhood in order to fuse with Yubel and spend the rest of his life watching over them just like he promised. Sometimes fairy tale endings and gestures of true love conquering all are good things, actually.

Least favourite moment

That Yubel is only in four episodes of Season four. We should have gotten so much of Yubel and Judai acting like partners and talking to each other the same way that Yugi and Yami do, but that's what fanfiction is for I guess.

[tryslora]

On rereading my old fic...

I’m having a lot of thoughts right now about rereading things I have written.

I struggle to reread original work. I don’t get lost in it when I start reading it, and I suspect that’s because I have already read it a few hundred times (I’m exaggerating, but it’s a lot) before it was put out for public consumption.

But fic. Ohhhh… I am one of those weirdos who loves to reread fic I wrote.

This came to mind because in the past few days, I’ve reread two old fics because both of them came up on my radar for different reasons.

(They were the “Love You So Hard” series of Scott/Stiles fics, and the “Dancing On Blades” Sterek Olympic figure skating AU, both from the Teen Wolf fandom, if you’re curious).

I didn’t mean to read them. But then I sat down trying to remember exactly what I’d written, and a half hour or so later, there I was like oh. Hey. I wrote that and I do not hate it. In fact, I now have a bit of a words hangover where I’m not ready to leave that world.

I love and hate that hangover. I get it both from reading and writing. In this moment, it reminded me a lot of what I loved about both writing and reading fic.

I haven’t had time to write fic recently. I have several unfinished WIPs in a Scrivener file, but if I’m not getting the overdue original done, I don’t feel like I can take time to write fic.

I haven’t been reading fic, either. I’m so far out of the fandoms I used to be part of, I don’t know how to find the fic that will give me the feels I love. I haven’t found a new fandom to be obsessed by where I feel comfortably falling into it. I admit, I like big fandoms, mostly because I love the variety of work and the ability to find so many wonderful gems. Small fandoms are great for flailing in meta, but terrible for finding more than a few fics.

Reading these two pieces years after I wrote them (and yes, I have reread both of them before) brought me right back to the world I lived in at the time. The world of fic. The feels. The memories of what it was like to belong to a  big fandom, and all that energy.

I miss it.

But this isn’t about fandom—this is about rereading my own words.

I’ve heard a lot of writers say that they never reread their own pieces, whether that is fic or original. They don’t want to revisit them. They are uncomfortable.

I find great delight in rediscovering myself. Every story is a snapshot of where my mind was in that moment. Every story is a reminder that yes, I can write, and I don’t hate my words. They are GOOD words. They made someone smile enough to leave a comment, and when I reread them, they make me smile, too.

I, too, want to comment to ask, “hey, where’s the rest? can I have more of this?” and that’s a tad bit frustrating since um, the only way that’ll happen is if I write it.

It makes me want to write more, though. Not necessarily that story. Maybe an original piece. Maybe something inspired by it. Might be difficult, given that one of those stories was absolutely buried in the world of Teen Wolf, and the other was a fanfic nod to Yuri on Ice without being a full-on YOI fic.

But at the same time, I have shapeshifter pack politics in my PHU serial; Alaric has to deal with it all the time. And much of the inspiration for that was drawn from things I developed that were my own head-canons while writing TW fic.

Writing is about learning. Writing fic is about joy, and it’s also about testing theories, and playing with words and ideas in familiar spaces.

It’s about creating a soft blanket that someone might want to wrap up in again and again, shutting out the cold, dark night.

I’m happy that rereading my own work gave me that feel, like I could build a blanket fort out of a story and retreat into a simpler time.

I want to create those same feels with my original work. I want to create a comfort blankie made of words.

In the meantime, I need to stop rereading my own work and move on. Write new words. Remember that if I did it before, I can do it again, and better this time. I’m not done. There are still stories in me; my mind is a library waiting to give books to those who need them.

[qqueenofhades]

hiii ❣ it's a bit random but do you have any advice for a beginner writer?

i want to write web series and while i'm going to write for my pleasure, i still would love my work to be good enough to have readers.

but while i read stuff and write fics, i don't think it's enough to help me write an original several episode work. + i want to write in english but i'm not a native english speaker.

do you have a textbook or any resource in mind that you'd reccomend to a beginner writer?

Unfortunately, I don't have one single one-size-fits-all resource or silver-bullet magical writing improvement tool that I can recommend, as everyone learns/practices in different ways and some people swear by things that don't work for other people. I can't speak to the value of Grammarly or any other online tool that promises to make you a better writer, as they can often be used to feed your work into AI, make bizarre and/or flatly incorrect suggestions, or otherwise be confusing and unhelpful for a newbie writer, especially someone whose first language isn't English. If you work better within an interactive framework or just want to see if it does seem useful, then by all means do check it out, but don't feel like you HAVE to use it (or anything else) if it doesn't offer much to your process.

As ever, and unhelpfully, my advice for becoming a better writer is to write a lot and read a lot, in all kinds of genres. There's really no get-good-at-writing-quick hack to suddenly get you where you want to be overnight, but you CAN get there by dint of steady and sustained progress. You say that you already read things and write fics -- which is great! You clearly already have some practice with the overall concept, and you are not starting from total scratch. While a lot of writers have a goal of something they really want to do (i.e. in your case, write a web series) and feel like the first one they write has to be The Real and Good One that they only launch into after appropriate years of practice, that's not the case. You can start writing the series now, if you want to. You'll have to also share it with people who you trust to give you helpful and honest feedback (the mortifying ordeal of being known, etc) while also respecting the skill level that you're currently at and not tearing it down for being up to professional standards or something else that doesn't accurately reflect where you are and what you need feedback on. But yes, you will have to write steadily, share your writing with others, and challenge yourself to read and write in different kinds of texts -- i.e. not just fic or amateur fan content, but literature, nonfiction, genre fiction, academia, special interest subjects, and so forth. Writing by professionally published authors is not necessarily always better, but it does give you a sense as to what is deemed marketable, what the general skill level and standard is, and what you might like to emulate or try to do with your own projects.

Also, as a side note, I think that plenty of amateur or fan-written content on the internet is not necessarily outstandingly good, technically speaking. This doesn't mean it's bad -- plenty of people read and enjoy it anyway, and aren't coming in expecting it to be an award-winning piece of fine literature. Standards for what is good, enjoyable, or well-written vary dramatically by genre, medium, what your audience is expecting and/or paying for, and so forth. Some people also have high and/or picky standards for what they will read or what they find enjoyable to read, while others will just go along with the story and don't care as much about the format or technical prowess or so forth. So it is very much a subjective measurement, and if you get to a place where you enjoy reading your own stuff and find it engaging -- regardless of what arbitrary skill level you feel yourself to be on -- chances are that other people will too.

[tryan-a-bex]

My contribution to dreamling day: I finally posted my fanfics of Fuckboi Dream! (Link to source material: Fuckboi Dream Was Forced To Experience The Mortifying Ordeal Of Being Alive And All He Got Was This Stupid Husband (by Fall Out Boy) Mind the tags.)

These were written over the course of the last year but the deal was we could post them after the reunion was written. It's coming soon, y'all! All of these are rated Teen, mostly due to the canon subject matter.

First, my series about Murphy as a child:

The Endless Family Dinner; or How it All Started (1.4k) Destruction and Delirium plan a fishbowl rescue. What could possibly go wrong? (My wrong answer to how they got that way.)

I am the Batman (600 words) Nanny Ashtoreth meets her new charges--and they are clearly neglected but also so so cute.

Before the Torture Garden (1.7k) Hob unknowingly meets Murphy every decade, at 4, 14, and 24.

The angst and waiting were too much for me and Hob. Hob's therapist wrote a paper about it: The New Parameters of Grieving: when they might come back. (300 words)

I dealt with it by writing a happy reunion between Murphy, Hob and Oneiros... several times as we went along.

Keep Him for a While (2.4k) Murphy returns on New Years Day. Calliope tells Oneiros to ask Hob and Murphy for help, and he does.

Have you tried talking to him? (1.4k) Hob and Oneiros meet for the second time, and when Oneiros lets slip that he plans to reintegrate the Murphy facet, Hob suggests that they ask Murphy if he has any better solutions.

Dreams are Real and Stories have Power (2.6k) Murphy tells Hob about a nightmare he has after his visit to Fawney Rig, and Hob can’t leave it alone. (A fishbowl rescue set in the Fuckboi Dream universe.)

The Work Circle; or, Killing Everyone is Not Good Problem Solving (3.7k) At the cereal convention, Rose leads a workshop on how to not solve all your problems by killing everyone. 

Fuck Nasty (375 words) Could they solve their problems with a sex contest instead of an eldritch power battle? Let's try it and see. (Spoiler, there's no actual sex in this one.)

Calliope and Matthew are Geniuses (1.8k) Matthew fetches Calliope, and she persuades Oneiros to listen to reason and talk to Desire.

[armandssilkshirt]

Wip wednesday, for a fic I’m tentatively titling: such sweet sorrow

I haven’t written fic for a big fandom like this in years atp and I don’t know how to navigate fandom space anymore! Anyway!

-

The plane ticket arrives in a sleek, cream envelope, inscribed with his name and nothing else, written out in neat, precise block capitals. Daniel takes note of several things immediately, of varying levels of importance and with varying degrees of incredulity:

The Vampire Armand knows his address, and either hand delivered the ticket himself, or puppeteered one of his neighbors or delivery guys into doing so on his behalf. By extension, either he was close by, or has been in near enough vicinity to get someone else to do his bidding, just waiting to ruin Daniel’s perfectly good Tuesday afternoon. It occurs to Daniel, too, that the plane ticket is Armand purposefully tipping his hand. The likelihood that he’s still around, watching him receive his spontaneous gift right now through a goddamn crack in the wall or some other gross invasion of privacy, is significantly greater than zero. He always did like to see a plan through to the end, after all. This is unlikely to be the exception.

The timing of the ticket itself is also more than disquieting, and not likely to be a coincidence. Daniel signed off an all his last approvals two days ago, and is now waiting on his publisher and agent to get back to him with details about the proposed marketing campaign and book tour, as well as hear back from the designer’s mock up for the cover, which he can comment on, but not, apparently veto. In publishing, Daniel has long learned you need to pick your battles and let the book speak for itself. Everyone’s going to think he’s clinically insane anyway, who cares if the art department intern who gets shoved this job gets a little carried away with it. Anyway—Daniel’s work is mostly done, and from here till the promotional calendar, it’s pretty much dead time. Armand has been listening. As far as ‘Congrats on completing your book!’ presents go, Daniel’s had better but he’s also had worse, too—his ex-wife served him divorce papers after his last one—so Daniel will take the plane ticket, actually. And Armand knows that if he’s going to take a vacation, now would be the time to do it. He wonders if his emails are accessible, or if Armand’s just been playing it old-school, standing on his balcony listening to him bitch out his editor, instead. He supposes he should be grateful that he’s been allowed the short lull beforehand, and that the ticket is booked a week in advance, enough notice to tie up any loose ends in New York that he might need to attend to. Considerate, really, Daniel has to admit.

All of which is to say, of course, that any illusions Daniel had been laboring under about the safety of his own home—the ignorance is bliss attitude he’d adopted since he’d stumbled through his front door two months ago, still shaking the Dubai wall dust off his shirt—are shattered. He’s attracted an undead stalker, and you can’t exactly take a restraining order out on those guys. It’s a bitch, because Daniel really did like this apartment, too. Even if Armand isn’t here to kill him—the plane ticket seems to suggest he at least has a different location in mind—that isn’t to say some other vampire won’t try to beat him to the job, and decide to turn his living room into a morgue as some sort of warning if/when he happens to not be at home. Maybe he should drape a sheet over his couch. He’s spilled enough red wine over it to know it stains like hell.

Charles De Gaulle airport is unexpected, but in a split second retrospect, he guesses it shouldn’t be. Obviously, Armand wants to rehash the story, spin his own series of events, even if he was too late to try to edit the first book, and he’s dramatic enough to want to walk the streets he spilled with blood while he does it. Daniel hasn’t been to Europe in a while. He remembers Paris in October as being beautiful; the turning of the leaves running crimson and orange through the city, cool and crisp but not yet so bitter as to be unpleasant. He could have picked worse places to stage his temper tantrum. Daniel can also understand him wanting to get out of the metropolitan maze of Dubai, and the penthouse that might as well have been a prison tower, though for whom, Daniel’s now not sure.

Which brings him to the shock of the ticket itself, and Armand’s unwelcome but now obvious presence in his life. When Daniel picked up his few belongings and high-tailed it out of the penthouse before any more rubble could fall on his head, literally or figuratively, Armand had been hunched in on himself, tucked against the baseboard, plaster hanging like teardrops onto the black of his eyelashes. Even with the baleful look in his eyes, he’d seemed, to Daniel, like a boy—suddenly forced to stop playing dress up and close the costume-box lid. Smaller, younger, both fearful and indignant at his newfound nakedness. Ready to lash out, of course, but also on the precipice of caving in. An unstable death star. Perhaps it would have been too easy, but he’d wondered if Armand might, as one last act of self-sacrificing spite, find himself a fire to throw himself into, hoping to haunt Louis as Lestat did. He’d even been half-expecting it. That he didn’t is almost more concerning. It suggests that Armand has unfinished business. If it’s with Daniel, for ruining his shambolic supernatural marriage, then Daniel supposes Paris is as nice a place to die as any. Hopefully Armand will dispose of his body efficiently. He’d hate for his daughters to have to pay for posthumous repatriation. That would be a terrible reason to go into credit card debt.

Lastly, with an almost amused observation, he notes that the handwriting on the envelope is not the same as the writing in the margins of the script he flung down like a hand grenade on that table weeks ago. Armand’s writing there had sprawled across the page, the loops of his cursive proving to be his noose. That he’s decided to adopt a new style is unsurprising. As a professional chameleon and an evidenced control freak, it makes sense that Armand would pay attention to details enough to change this aspect too. This is Armand reinventing himself; a signifier of the new start he’s trying to establish and the distance he’s trying to put between himself and his past crimes. In comparison to the writing on the script, this new style is careful, takes up little space, and is officiously self-aware. Deceptively nondescript. It almost makes Daniel laugh. Armand’s relying on him knowing who the envelope is from anyway, so the change in signature is nothing but set-dressing.

Well, not quite—the very last thing he observes, with some belated horror and disappointment aimed squarely at himself—is that immediately, Daniel knows he’s going to take the ticket. It’s barely a conscious decision. There’s precedent, of course—he’s already jumped on a plane in an ongoing pandemic to go on an ill-advised research trip. Armand could be reasonably sure he’d roll the dice and go for another. He tries to argue with the part of himself that screams it’s the height of stupidity to take another risk in exactly the same way, that, actually, staying would only be shoving his head in the sand. He’s made himself a target, or he’s about to when publication rolls around, and Armand might turn out to be the least of his problems, in the long run. Why not see what he wants in the meantime? And besides—isn’t it better the Devil you know? 

[londonhalcyon]

Fic Writer Interview (20 Questions)

This tag game passed by twice, once in January (because apparently this post has been sitting in my drafts that long) and again several months later, so forgive me for not remembering who to tag! These questions seem fun, so if anyone wants to join, feel free to say I tagged you!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

20 at the moment, with plenty more WIPs.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

480,895 words and counting.

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Not counting TMW bonus content, the top 5 are:

The Mad Witch (758 kudos)

"The Scarlett Cauldron" (77 kudos)

"Fear Itself" (76 kudos)

"The Most Powerful Witch" (72 kudos)

"Piper's Best Worst Day" (57 kudos)

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! I love engaging with my readers and other members of the fandom. Every comment always makes my whole day. Life gets busy sometimes, so I don't always have the time to respond to every single one, but I definitely see and appreciate all of them!

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Usually my fics have fairly hopeful endings, but "3 Years Ago," a pre-canon Murdered: Soul Suspect fic might fit the bill. Sometime in the future, it has the potential to be topped by "Will of the People," a Fallout 4 WIP that revolves around the Diamond City anti-ghoul riots.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

My Secret Santa fics, "It's Not the Fall" and "Flawed Phials," definitely have the fluffiest endings!

7. Do you write crossovers?

Nope!

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I get rude or condescending comments on occasion from people who don't know how to hit the back button and/or are unfamiliar with fandom etiquette, though nothing actively malicious. The one time I received a transphobic/homophobic message in response to TMW it was private (if it was public, I would have deleted it; I don't give a platform to that kind of thing at all), and honestly I hope that person is in a better place now because they really didn't seem okay at the time. I'm fortunate that the vast majority of my readers and mutuals are such wonderfully amazing and kind people.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, BUT, before you get too excited, not in The Mad Witch. Smut is by definition graphic, and TMW has a Teen rating that shall remain unchanged.

The smut scenes I've drafted so far (F/F and F/M) are for my Rosemary Reaper series (post-canon Fallout 4 WIP). Those fics will all be rated Mature, so while not overly explicit, they'll definitely be spicier than TMW. Maybe I'll share a snippet sometime if there's any demand for it.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of?? I have long since deleted my Wattpad account, so my fics should only be on AO3. If anyone ever finds one of my fics elsewhere in the wild, please let me know.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have not, which is probably for the best. I would like to make some heavy edits to the beginning of TMW when I'm done with it.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not a fic, though I have co-written a short fantasy story with a friend, with him writing for one POV character and me for another. We agreed on major actions and story beats, but we each kept a major secret that we didn't reveal until after we had written our individual parts. It was a lot of fun (though we were both painfully unskilled at the time).

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I don't know if I really have one. I have ships I enjoy and characters I like to pair with OCs, though nothing I feel properly obsessive over. This might be a consequence of primarily writing for video game fandoms. But I do have my default game romances: Merula in HPHM, Piper in Fallout 4, Marcurio in Skyrim, etc. I'm also a sucker for unrequited love interests, like Serana in Skyrim and Aveline in Dragon Age 2. The ANGST.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I never want to say never because I'm currently 83,435 words into the last fic I said I would never write. But there are two fics that I'm almost certain I will never finish, which I'm kind of sad about: my post-canon Murdered: Soul Suspect longfic, A Certain Darkness, and my RWBY OC team longfic, DSRT.

I made it just shy of 200,000 words into A Certain Darkness before I had to drop it. My writing skills ended up surpassing the progress I had made, and by the time I realized how many characters, relationships, and plot points were just straight up bad, I had written myself into a corner. I do love Joy and Angel so much, a medium/ghost duo with way more homoerotic tension than my closeted teenage self ever intended. Maybe one day I'll gut the story, drop the characters into a different setting, and make it something original. One day.

DSRT ran into a similar problem, though fortunately I only ever wrote the first few chapters. I could probably reattempt it if I really wanted, but with the overwhelming number of WIPs I already have, it's hard to imagine finding the time. I do miss my team of teenage idiots: Dustin, Saul, Rosemary, and Talos. It was supposed to have a really tragic ending too, which I don't often get to write.

15. What are your writing strengths?

I often receive compliments on how human I make my characters feel, which is the highest honor anyone could give. I've been told my dialogue frequently flows smoothly too.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Conciseness. Why is this post so long omg.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Do it carefully and with necessity. Maybe a character is bilingual and blends languages, so it's part of their characterization. Maybe a password or spell needs to be said in another language because it's old or pretentious. It can work, but it can also be easy to mess up. I personally avoid writing dialogue in languages I don't have a good grasp of, or I try to consult other people if I do (not Google Translate, which sucks).

There's also the matter of if the POV character even understands the language being spoken. If they don't, then I don't write the language out (unless it's a phrase the character is going to learn later on). In these instances, it makes more sense to write something like, "The man muttered a phrase in a language she didn't recognize," or "She fired off something in Spanish, the words too quick to catch."

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Star Wars the Clone Wars, baby! I was like ten or eleven. Never published, but my worldbuilding for that longfic (a saga, more like) was insanely elaborate. Alas, another story for the WIP graveyard.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

Eventually, I want to get back to my Skyrim WIP, which includes a main Dragonborn/Marcurio ship. Maybe even with a little Dragonborn/Serana infidelity on the side (which Marcurio absolutely does not deserve, the poor guy).

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I mean, I have to say The Mad Witch, don't I? That fic is where my community is, where every time I post a chapter I have a ton of people who get excited about it with me. It is the story I think about constantly, that I have spent literal years writing and daydreaming about. No matter what I've written before or will write since, this will be the defining fic in my journey as a writer.

That, and I have a special fondness for "Case by Case." I just think it's neat.

[wheels-of-despair]

What You Deserve | Leonard Bast x You | Series Masterlist

Once upon a time, a boy entered a bookshop...

Part Two: Is That Fair? Words: 1.7k Date: Friday, December 22, 1911

Over the last year, you had fallen completely in love with a man named Leonard Bast.

He came to your father's bookshop every Friday. On his first few visits, he'd browsed for fifteen minutes and talked to you for the remaining forty-five. But then, after a while, he'd just accept the book you'd chosen for him and spend the whole hour discussing last week's read, or a classic, or the symphony he'd recently attended, or a highly lauded stage play nobody seemed to be able to acquire tickets to. You laughed, and you joked, and you looked forward to that hour with him all week long.

He was brilliant. He was passionate. He was handsome. He was the sort of man people wrote novels about. And tonight, you were finally going to tell him how you felt about him.

Your older sisters had teased you about your preference of books to men for years. They said that reading too much had made you romanticize men to the point that no real one would ever suit you. But they'd married the first boys who showed interest in them and moved out of your family's cozy home above the bookshop as soon as they could. What did they know? They certainly didn't know about your Friday evenings with Leonard Bast.

He was your most treasured secret. That hour alone with him on Friday evenings was always the best part of your week, but it wasn't enough. You wanted more of him. You needed more of him.

He was always on your mind. When you read a new book, you wondered what he'd think of it. When you made dinner, you wondered if he'd like it. When you curled up by the fire to read, you imagined leaning your head on his shoulder. And sometimes in bed, when the fire died down and the chill of the night crept in, you wondered what it might be like if he were there to keep you warm.

It was a flawless plan, really. You'd take him into the storage room in the back to show him the pile of books scheduled to go out on a sale cart tomorrow, and offer him first shot at the bargains. Once Leonard had made his selections, you'd wrap them in brown paper so they'd be easier to carry, and slip in your favorite book of poetry. As a bookseller, you were typically against writing in books, but this was an exception. You'd written an inscription to him inside the front cover and included several notes throughout that you thought would be meaningful to him.

Writing your feelings on a page in a well-loved book felt much safer than just telling him how you felt.

You watched the clock and the door, waiting for him to hurry in like he always does. Even though he doesn't need to rush anymore, it seemed like he was always in a hurry to get here. You like to think it's because he was as happy to see you, as you were to see him.

Your face breaks into a smile when you spot his red ears holding up his ill-fitting hat, probably frozen from the cold December air. He steps inside, wipes his feet, and smiles at you.

"Mr. Bast! I was hoping to see you today."

"Me?" he asks, in mock-surprise, like he always does.

"Of course," you smile, keeping up your little game. The clock chimes, and you leave your place at the counter to lock up. Mr. Bast is the only customer in the store. He hangs his hat and coat on the rack as the lock clicks.

"Do you have a good one for me today?"

"Even better," you smile. "Follow me."

You lead him through the store and to the storage room, where a cart is packed with books that are priced to sell.

"What's this?" Mr. Bast asks.

"Sale cart," you explain. "Jimmy's taking it out tomorrow, in hopes of clearing out some inventory before the post-Christmas flood of unwanted gifts."

Jimmy, the teenage son of one of your father's friends, was an occasional employee. A few times a year, you'd pack up the cart of books that had been shelved for too long, and send Jimmy to sell them on the street. He was friendly and talkative, which made him an excellent salesman. He also had a very obvious crush on you, and your sisters had teased you about your "young lover" relentlessly when they found out.

This cart is what led Leonard to you. He'd spotted it on the street one day, bought all he could afford, and was given a business card with the store's address on it with the promise of more discounted books. It was quite a walk from his place of work, and he'd struggled to make it on time… until you developed your Friday routine.

"But the sale doesn't start until tomorrow?" he asks, picking up a book to inspect it.

"For you, it starts now."

"Is that fair?" he asks, worry on his face.

"Consider this a Favorite Customer Preview Sale. Tomorrow, people will buy random books for friends and relatives as Christmas presents, because they are inexpensive and easy to wrap and appear to be thoughtful. You are one of the few customers who will concern themselves with the content of the books, and not the fact that giving the gift of a book makes you look superior. Please, good sir, shop to your heart's content."

He looks from you, to the cart, and back to you. You sigh and try again.

"Mr. Bast, I am expected at my sister's house on Christmas Day. Her children are expecting a fun aunt who wants to play with them. If you do not leave this shop with an armful of books today, I will consider myself a failure of a saleswoman. And if I am a failure, I will be unable to enjoy my time with my sister's children on Christmas. Think of the children, Mr. Bast."

He laughs.

"Too much?" you ask, cracking a smile.

"Most definitely," he grins, finally stepping closer and inspecting the cart full of books.

With your assistance, he picks out five books to add to his collection. At this price, not even Leonard Bast can pass them up. He passes you a few coins, and you drop them into your pocket with a jingle.

You'd eventually noticed the frays in his clothing and his well-worn shoes and the loose seams in his hat. He hid them well, but he needn't hide them from you at all. You're a seller of used books. You know that a good story is a good story, no matter what condition the cover is in. The same applies to people.

"Shall I wrap these up for you?" you ask, trying to mask your nervousness.

"Alright," he smiles.

You take the books over to the table, where you keep the brown wrapping paper. You let him ramble about the one he's most excited about while you wrap his selections - plus the book of poetry. You distract him by mentioning another title that may be on the cart, and slip the gift into his stack when he goes to check. You hope it brings him back to the shop tomorrow, rather than a week from now. You can't wait to hear his thoughts on it.

He takes his wrapped package with a warm smile, which you return. If he only knew…

You make your way to the storage room's door, and he pauses to let you exit first. You reach back in to close the door after he enters the hallway, and when it clicks shut, you notice that he's staring upward.

Someone has put mistletoe in the doorway.

You look into his big brown eyes, an explanation on the tip of your tongue - you don't know how it got there, honestly - but no words are spoken.

You feel yourself drawn to him.

You lean in slowly, and he does too.

You close your eyes as your lips finally meet Leonard Bast's in a sweet, chaste kiss. Your heart flutters. Your brain buzzes.

You want to do this every day for the rest of your life.

You can't control your blissful smile as you pull away…

But Leonard Bast is not smiling.

Panic sets in. What's wrong? Were you bad at it?

"I'm sorry," he says. What is he sorry for? You both clearly wanted this. You've been dancing around it for a damned year. "I have a wife."

Your heart drops into your stomach.

"A what?"

"I have a wife. This isn't fair to her."

A wife? He's never mentioned a wife. You're sure of it. He's told you all about his parents, and his brother the lay-reader, and his two married sisters who were older and had never been very close to him. You absolutely would've remembered him mentioning a wife.

You felt faint. You leaned against the wall and closed your eyes, trying to focus on your breathing.

When you opened your eyes, Leonard Bast was gone.

Your father returned soon after. He found you in the hallway outside the storage room, sitting on the floor with tear-stained cheeks and staring into nothing. He thought you'd been attacked, and was preparing to summon the police when you finally found your voice. You were fine, you lied. Just had a bad day and a lot of demanding customers. It's nearly Christmas, after all, and people were desperate to finish their shopping.

He scraped you off the floor and took you upstairs to revive you with tea and biscuits. But it didn't help. Nothing helped.

Mr. Bast didn't come back.

You and your broken heart carried on, trying not to wonder what Leonard Bast would think of this book or that one. You tried not to worry about what he was doing, or who he was doing it with. You tried not to care. He was gone. He was nothing to you. Just a man you'd sold some books to.

Once upon a time, Leonard Bast had been your best-kept secret. Now he was just a ghost inside your head.

[writingpei]

wicked games (l.m.) - chapter eleven

previous chapter series masterlist next chapter

pairing: lee minho x reader genre: academic rivals to lovers wc: 2.4k words

savior complex

people tend to say good things don't last. y/n just hoped it could have lasted longer.

it had been a while since she genuinely smiled at things, but that day was really very special, an immense gratification, a step towards her future. but you can't have everything, in fact, she thought it would be asking too much for that feeling to last.

when she stepped into the house and saw her mom sitting at the desk, buried in a sea of ​​papers, y/n knew nothing good was coming.

the tired look, the white hair, the lazy smile. it seemed that her mother aged more with each passing day.

“darling, you arrived” she greets as soon as she steps inside the house.

“you are home earlier” y/n says, cautiously approaching the table where she sat like a boogeyman, facing a truth she didn't want to discover.

the papers on the table were bills, many, many of them.

“got the day off” she explains, going back to using the calculator and noting obscene amounts of money in her old notebook. "how was your day?"

“good” she replies, but she was already lying. the happiness of his success had already become past, left behind. “what is all this?” she then decides to ask.

her mother stares at the stacks of papers for a few seconds, no response. it is then that she gives y/n a weak and apologetic smile, in a kind of apology.

“you're old enough to know…” she starts, and y/n wants to say no, run and cry and scream that she's not big, that she's still a kid, that she still needs to be lied to and protect her ears from what she doesn't need to listen. in the end, she just stands there, anticipating what's to come. “it's getting harder every month. the landlord raised the rent again. i don't know where else to get money from, we can't cut anything else. i think i’m going to have to do more overtime at the hospital or something."

she doesnt have an answer, she just keeps looking at her mother. she already comes home pretty exhausted everyday, if she worked more overtime she probably wouldn't even sleep anymore. worry and pain must be written on her face, because her mother takes her hand in hers, giving her another apologetic smile.

“i’m sorry, i'm sorry for not being able to give you the conditions i'd like” she starts to say, but her voice is nothing more than a calm and affectionate whisper, an apology from the one who did everything he could. “i know you wish you had a better uniform, better materials, a better college outlook, but i can't give you that”

the strange and rare feeling of burning eyes that fill with tears hits her hard. maybe it's her tone of voice, maybe it's the icy touch of her palms against hers, but the melancholy in the air takes y/n in such a way that she relearns the feeling of crying. she had always suppressed crying, labeled as pathetic, the most physical display of weakness there could be, but here, after years without the damned drops running down her cheeks, the hot tears flow freely, devoid of any control she might have had over them.

“i don't care about that” she says, through the water. “i don't care about these things, mom. i don't mind wearing someone else's uniform, i don't mind working and getting into college my way” the tears flow uncontrollably and her knees lose strength, causing her body to wither into the other chair at the table . “i just don't want you to kill yourself at work over this. i don't want you to get sick, to push your limits”

“aw, my baby…” her mother whispers, running her hand through her daughter's hair, sadness abiding in her eyes.

“don't worry about it mom” she says. “i will find a way”

y/n was never a person who feared the reality of the world around her. she wasn't afraid or ashamed to live up to it, to play the game by its rules. so the walk to school was longer the next morning, having to make a detour to print out several copies of her extensive curriculum for a high school student.

the sky was gray, it looked like the light of the day before it was just an illusion, a bad joke. she was quieter than usual too, a flood of thoughts invading her senses. hyunjin noticed that since the tutor session started, she barely looked at him, it didn't seem like she was there at all.

the source of his questions was satisfied when he opened a folder she had held out to him, where the chemistry exercises for the next class were supposed to be. instead, he was only faced with the endless curriculums.

“i think…” he started after a few seconds of just staring at the folder. “i think you gave me the wrong folder”

that sparked the girl's first real reaction that day. her eyes widened slightly and she quickly reached for her backpack and dug around vigorously until she pulled out a folder identical to the one in his hands. she switched the two, extending it the correct one this time, but no words escaped her lips.

"are you looking for a job?" the exercises have been completely ignored and set aside, and he places his elbows on the table and stretches to get closer to her.

“are you looking for an excuse not to do what you have to do?” she rolls her eyes but practically refuses to look at him. “like always…”

“come oooon” he says when he sees her trying to change the subject. “are you or not?”

“yes” she says after a few seconds of debating within herself whether or not to expose herself to him. hyunjin had a habit of digging into her thoughts and pulling out information that she definitely didn't want to speak aloud from her, a natural talent of the talkative boy. “what is it to you, anyway? the test is next week, you better study or else-”

“what kind of job are you looking for?” her words barely get through to him, and he seems strangely interested in it, which only meant one thing: he wasn't going to drop the subject until she'd told him everything he wanted to know.

"any type. one that gives money, preferably” he laughs at her sarcasm instead of taking offense.

“look…” he leans even further over the table, his blond hair falling in front of his eyes since he was without his usual sporty headband. “i think i know of a place that has been in need of some extra help for quite some time, do you want me to mention that i know of someone who is interested in the job?” he asks, a proud smile playing on his lips.

she looks at him with narrowed eyes for a few seconds, frown apparent on her face.

“no” she replies, simply, and hyunjin is extremely confused by her answer.

"no?" he questions, frown now on his own face.

"no"

"why not?"

“what is it to you?” she crosses her arms and walks away, leaning back in the antique library chair.

“what is it to me? what do you mean?" it just gets more confused.

“why do you care? this, the flyers, why do you keep doing these things for me?” she questions. that was something that had popped into her head more times than she liked. the strangeness of the attention that hyunjin gave her caused a pani in her system, an endless confusion. she needed answers. maybe it was just his personality, a savior complex, a teenage boy who considers himself invincible, a superhero. but what comes out of his mouth is not an option she found valid during all the time she invested thinking about the hypotheses.

“oh” when he realizes it, he gives a light chuckle as if he understands it completely. “because we” he points to both of them. "we are friends"

she blinks a few times looking at him in disbelief.

“what?” is what manages to escape your lips.

“friends” he opens a big smile.

“since when?”

“since we started doing this” he points to the table covered with books and notes. “duh”

“is this your concept of friendship?” she asks, genuinely, pushing back the chair and cringing a little.

“what is yours?” he retorts, and she is overcome with a strange feeling. she had nothing to say to him about that and he knew it. “listen, there is nothing in it for me” he blurts out. “to me, we are friends. what you are doing for me means a lot, so i wanted to do the things in my power to repay you. i could never get better the way i’m getting if it weren't for you. because of that, let me set you up with an appointment at this place, i know the owner and he's genuinely been in need of more people for a while, so it wouldn’t hurt”

the sincerity in his voice brings an odd sense of comfort to her, the chance of getting a job sooner than expected also eases her shoulders.

“okay” is all she manages to say amid the unusual feelings of gratitude that bloom without her permission.

“i'll make get an interview for tomorrow right after school. i'll be at the gate waiting for you then let's go together. but listen, no running away huh?” he says, faking a hard face.

“okay,” she replies quietly, rolling her eyes. "i'll be there"

and she amazingly, to her own surprise, thought nothing of running away. when the bell rings the next day announcing the end of classes, she grabs her backpack and strides to the school entrance, not wanting to leave him waiting for her there and risk being late for her interview.

her storm of thoughts is brutally interrupted when, already outside the school, she feels her wrist being held by someone.

“my god, you walk fast don't you?” minho pulls his tie down and loosens it, taking a deep breath trying to recover. “why are you in such a hurry?” he asks, but her attention is diverted to his fingers that are still holding her wrist, even though he made her stop and give him attention, he didn't make any move to break the contact.

her eyes take in the scene warily, the way his hand circles her arm so close to her hand, the audacity of his touch, as if he could touch her whenever he wanted.

“what do you want?” she asks, taking his hand off her arm and taking a step back. “i don't have time today, minho”

“well, it's good that what i have to tell you is quick and you'll love to know” he takes a step forward, recovering the distance she created between the two of them, a goofy smile appearing on his face as usual, holding a secret behind those rosy lips, something only she could know, only she could hear. "i-"

“y/n!” she hears someone calling her further ahead, where the entrance gate is. hyunjin is in his team uniform like he usually is, his duffel bag slung lazily over his shoulders. he comes running towards the two, and the air around them changes completely, along with minho's mood that seems to shatter in seconds. "there you are. come on, we can't be late” he says when he arrives right in front of the two. when hyunjin finally sees minho next to her, a friendly smile appears on his face. “hey man”

“i’m talking to her” is the only answer minho is willing to give, his barriers coming up in a matter of seconds.

y/n starts to think that hyunjin is immune to hostility, as his good mood doesn't waver, his posture remains standing tall as ever.

“sorry to interrupt you two, but we kinda have something” he points at you, and minho's icy gaze hits her skin in a way it never has before.

“it's not like i was dying to talk to you anyway” she whispers to minho, adjusting her backpack on her shoulders and walks over to hyunjin. “you'll have many other opportunities to try to drive me mad, but i’m busy today"

instead of minho's standard sarcastic response, she only gets silence. a weird look comes to his eyes as they flit from her to hyunjin, then back to her again. he takes a little step back with his lips pressing together, as if he's been betrayed.

“okay” is all he says before turning around and disappearing into the school once more. something weird rises in her chest, a feeling she can't explain, almost guilt. but it was obvious that there was something wrong with his own head. why would I feel guilty about telling minho off? him leaving her alone was all she wanted, or at least that's what she thought she did.

“come on, let’s go” hyunjin pokes her on the shoulder to get her attention, and the two start walking side by side. “it's a good walk”

y/n had never walked with anyone after school before, but the walk was strangely quiet and pleasant. when they passed a children's school, a group of kids pointed at hyunjin and started talking loudly about his hair, the different and striking color.

she never had a friend before, and she wondered if this was how it was supposed to be.

“the owner of this place is my cousin. it's a cafe” he brings up the subject for the first time during the journey. “as it is in a very rich part, it is practically only old people who go there, so it will be very easy”

in front of the cafe, the part of being in a very wealthy neighborhood does justice to the architecture there. elderly couples and small families tend the tables, and the smell of coffee that fills her nostrils as soon as they step inside overwhelms her senses.

“sooo, what did you think?” hyunjin asks her, putting his hands on his hips and looking around with a proud smile.

“i like it”

stay tuned for chapter 12! new chapters every sunday ☆

taglist: @liphglos @kiyoomimybeloved @lilactangerine @swiftlydirectioning @lethallyprotected @yhawnnzz @whatthefsposts @sleepyleeji (if you want to be a part of the taglist, send me an ask, comment or message <3)