#it was the fic with the really bad writing. lmaoooooo

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

Me: *names a document "No Comment"*

Me: Okay, so which one is this now...

[prismaticpichu]

17, 23, 31?

You got it!! 💖💕

~

What fic meant the most to you to write? ~ EASY!! Candle in the Rain, no question <333 That fic is my baby shshshshshhdhd!!! Literally just a bundle of words that encompasses my favorite tropes and FF7 headcanon in existence: The power of FRENSHIP, mind control, Jenova brainwashing Seph, Nibelheim being saved, and Zack never giving up on his bud <333 And while the fic has some major flaws that I’ve come to notice today, I think what I find so special about it is that it’s one of the only fics where I just didn’t care 😂 Every sentence and every decision came directly from my heart—completely spared of any overthinking or self-critiquing. It’s MY personal catharsis fic, and I will love it forever <33

What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet? ~ Oooh, good question!! I’ve always wanted to write a fic wherein Zack suffers from amnesia on a mission, is captured by some ShinRa-hating enemies, and is fed horrible truths about Sephiroth in order to turn him against his best friend :,3c Definitely an idea that’s been sitting with me for ages lmaoooooo! And it ain’t going anywhere ❤️💖

What is something you recently felt proud of in your writing? ~ Bit of a sad answer, so I’ma keep it under the cut:

I’ll be completely transparent with y’all, I… haven’t felt a lot of satisfaction with my writing lately 😂 It’s been kinda tumultuous in the brain, and I haven’t felt like I’ve written anything that really clicks with me personally, or that I even feel particularly happy with. This isn’t to say I think my fics are bad!!! 💖 There are a decent handful I cherish, seriously. But I think it is safe to say that I genuinely struggle with being happy with what I create, as depressing as that sounds x,D And a lot of what keeps me going is knowing that I’m able to make people happy/engaged, even if I immediately glower at my screen upon posting a fic. It’s why so many of my fics are deleted; it’s why I anon over half of the ones that are not, because I can’t stand my name attached to works I can’t stand dhdhdhdhhd. It’s just kinda what happens when you’re in a mental program with one of the diagnoses being “critically low self-esteem” lmaooooooooo.

(Sorry… I know that was supposed to be a positive ask 😂💖 But y’all know I like to be honest and open here, and I think the honest answer is Nothing in recent time. But that doesn’t mean it won’t change!! The first step in being able to accept proper feedback from others is to be confident in yourself <3)

[muirmarie]

god i really want to sign up for a bad things happen bingo card and just like. write the messed up whump and h/c that my freaky (derogatory) little heart really wants lmaoooo, i haven't written h/c for the sake of h/c (aka without, like, turning it into a Fic) in so so so long, but also i have enough on my plate with ye olde trying to build a consistent writing habit with my mcspirk bingo card - which is more about writing stories for me lmao, and not just, like, me leaning over my keyboard in a dimly lit room rubbing my grubby little hands together as i hurt someone (leonard mccoy) and then let the people who love them kiss their forehead and comfort them.

but oh i was looking at the list of the prompts, and i was like, yeah, yeah i do actually want to let my h/c freak flag fly lmaoooooo

i know it's not a good idea because i do not want to let myself get overwhelmed and/or in over my head! but also. also. also. i still have le ongoing problem of wanting to turn everything into a capital-f Fic instead of just dashing off nonsense, like i'll dash off nonsense all day here lmaoooo, but when it comes to a story i want to??? this sounds so pretentious. i always want to write something??? Good???? i don't mean good writing or whateve,r i mean like a??? meaningful story??? (ugh so pretentious) (and to be clear i'm NOT saying i'm succeeding - only attempting!!!)

and the siren call of writing 1k about a cardboard cutout bad guy that has a knife to mccoy's throat while mccoy backtalks and kirk tries to bargain and mccoy is trying to hide the fact that he's already been stabbed in the side and spock has to carry him back once kirk shoots the bad guy??? listen. listen.

but also i do know myself and would i be Content with dashing off 1k nonsense or would i. still. the meaning. would i still the meaning. that's the question. the meaning. would i still.

am i looking at my neighbor's yard like wow that grass looks so green and takes no upkeep (probably), do i still want mccoy with a knife at his throat and jim's desperate eyes and steady voice and spock's steady eyes and the imperceptible tremble in his hands as he picks mccoy up from where he fell (absolutely)

i mean i could just get a card! it doesn't mean i have to write anything! (that's the devil speaking)

(the devil looks so hot tho)

(the devil's got them baby blues)

[cant-stop-running-to-you]

Brother's react to Diamon

(Mammon x Diavolo)

(MC mentioned)

───※ ·❆· ※───

Lucifer

Pardon? What is this?

Oh fanficion

Did Levi write this? No? Oh ok.

He find it disgusting and protective brother mode is activated- Don't ship his brother with his boss

Totally not because he likes Diavolo

He tries to forget but it's kinda hard when Asmo is running around trying to get Lord Diavolo and Mammon to fall in love and Mammon screaming about not liking him that way

He thinks it's a crack ship

They have no chemistry and when the romance is written it sounds so fake- (not salty)

He doesn't care for fanfiction

He believes that fanficion isn't true literature

If he wants to read romance he'll read a real book and not this nonsensical diamon

Not a shipper nor would he support it if became reality

MC would never ship this.....

Mammon

Only learned about it from Satan and he was like;

H-h-HUH!?!

HIM AND THE PRINCE?!

Yeah no he's not vibing

He likes MC and doesn't care if MC doesn't exist in that fanficion

He will find a way for MC to exist

He actually gets really awkward around Diavolo when alone

Is it just him or is Asmo always locking them in a room together? Asmo. Asmo!

Doesn't like how Asmo is trying to be the pink baby with the arrow

Asmo trips him and makes him fall on to THE PRINCE! DON'T DO THAT!! ASMOOO!

NOT THAT HE THINKS HE'LL FALL FOR THAT PRINCE PFFT-

He just can't see it happening- he likes MC and Diavolo likes Lucifer

Never read a fanficion by himself (only the first one Satan showed him) because he was traumatized

A note from Mammon:

"Stop writin' that stuff! Ya make meh so OOC because it's outa char'eter for me to like anyone but MC!!'"

Doesn't find it the best at all

He has nightmares about it

Levi

LOLOLOLOLOLOL

MAMMON, THE SCUMBAG AND DIAVOLO THE PRINCE?!?

LMAOOOOOO

What kind of crappy trope is this!? LOLOL

He find it hilariously bad

First off- there is no way in hell that Diavolo could love Mammon who could

Second when have Mammon and Diavolo ever have a conversation one on one?

Third- Isn't Diavolo in love with Lucifer all ready?!? LOLOLOL

If anything it would just be a one sided crush on Mammon's half

He thinks the shippers are stupid and delusional

Like whaaaatttt???? Who thought of this ship? This could never happen!

After reading some fanfiction he thinks still has the same thoughts,

He's a Dialuci shipper because CANON EVIDENCE shows that the prince is in love with Lucifer

Now to go back to writing Dialuci fanficion

"LOLOLOLOLOL"

Satan

More angst

He wants more angst but not on the couple themselves.. but on Lucifer

He wants Lucifer to be in love with Diavolo but it being one-sided because lord Diavolo is in love with his little brother

He wants Lucifer to cry over it and one night having drunk a lot of demonous

So he can have a break down in front of everyone because he was still deeply in love with Diavolo

Because it would be so funny to have that happen

Just imagine himself there with his phone out while Lucifer cried about it

Just thinking about it makes him makes him so ugh!

He does (if he is going to use levi/online terms) ship it but only because of the angst it would bring Lucifer

He also finds it pretty interesting- there is no way it could happen in real life but it's good on paper

He feels like the writers lessen Mammon's tsundere demeator but you gotta do what you gotta do

He showed Mammon a fanfic and laughed when he saw the disgusted and traumatized look on his face

He just goes back to reading other books and eventually forgets about it and thinks about his next scheme against Lucifer

Asmo

The best thing made in creation (other than himself)

It was a fic he was recommend by a fan of his while he was live on devilgram

He thought it was a crack fic and laughed once it took itself so seriously

He does question why someone would make a fic of Mammon when they could be using their time wisely writing about him instead

But he did read it and fell in love ironically

Yass Diamon slayyy

He'd ask Mammon if he could make it real for him and his fans but was disappointed once Mammon denied

He'd then go to the Prince himself and read Diamon fics with him

Again asking Diavolo the same but was again disappointed once he denied

Tries to play cupid by puttting alone in a room or tripping Mammon so he falls into Diavolo's arms

He's thinking it's working!!

Or Mammon's just angry and annoyed

Oh well

Amazing- he ships it (but you better write more about him even if it means writing him with Diavolo- HE WANTS BE WRITTEN MORE)

Beel

Why are people writing about Mammon being in love with the Prince?

Why are people in general writing about them?

Is it because people like them?

...!

Oh he just remembered that humans in the human world write fanfiction about real people all the time... such as Donald Trump x Joe Biden who were presidents of the United States or how people write about how it would be like to date Harry Styles who is a singer or having fights/break up with BTS members (he has no idea who these people are but humans seem to like writing these kinda stuff)

He only knows this information because one day Levi fell down a 'crack rabbit hole' where he read crappy fanficion that humans make on 'tumblr' and 'Wattpad' (whatever those are) of real people and Levi would share what he read to them- it would earn a laugh from everyone (Lucifer included)

Is that what these writers are doing with them?

Oh sorry he got off topic

He doesn't care much because it's fiction- it's cute he guesses

If it were real tho he'd support Mammon with whoever he was with whether it be MC, Diavolo or anyone

He'd feel bad for Lucifer tho

Belphie

He doesn't care about the ship at all!

Stop bugging him about this kinda shit

He read one fic about it and had a little laugh about it

The ship can't happen in real life but if it were to happen he'd support mainly he's to lazy to go against it.

Confused on why people ship it tho

Is it because there are two stupid childish men?

Meh he doesn't care what ever the reason is

He just wants sleep leave him alone

He can't sleep because he hears Asmo trying to play match maker....

....

...

...

He hates the ship now

It rid him of sleep

It's war now

No mercy to diamon

no mercy

───※ ·❆· ※───

This is crack! And fyi I appreciate Diamon! also not proofread!

This is a first post moment for the obey me fandom and I had it mention Donald Trump and Joe Biden.... what am I doing with my life

[jihyoruri]

me when it’s time for the yearly anon confession potluck and I have to admit that to me… wowyn.. is just.. 🙂. I think she is a little toxic and the wonyn situation takes me out so bad like it’s genuinely the funniest thing to me EVER. like I can not explain why but the wonyoung is like eh ik u like me but I don’t rlly wanna deal with that so! uhm!.. anyway! and wowyn just… listens tew her😭😭like ur telling me wowyn breaks up w girls If wonyoung doesn’t like them LMFAOO😭

idk for some reason wowyn to me is more of a loser than loseryn not even in a mean way just.. I don’t know I feel like if I met her fr I’d be like.. ur such a sad person…

moving past this… who is your favorite yn? we all know mine…

(1. shamelessyn 2. richgirl yn 3. aespayn/firecrackeryn)

i may not be the president of the aespayn or richgirlyn fanclub but I’m actually both of their therapists btw. yeah Ik you guys don’t know but my side gig is actually fixing them. yeah no aespayn is in the trenches… it’s bad in these streets. (I love richgirlyn almost the same amount as shamelessyn I’m a cheater sorry)

also side note I am sat for anything u write but I hope you continue to explore richgirlyn’s dynamic with chaewon and the other members.. idk maybe it’s bc I grew up with a lot of money but the way ppl w wealth act has always been so.. weird tew me. like I know these r just sillay yn works but I feel like people who write rich characters forget like.. these r the most emotionally stunted people on earth. they never learned to socialize or explain their emotions 😭dealing w rich people is insane because no one talks abt anything or knows how to interact with regular people like they have such hard times w it for some reason?? (because they never had to)

ANYWAY sorry for the long ask 😞I hope we get some aespayn fans out here for 4/20 SHOW SUPPORT FOR UR GIRL😭😭

-🎏

LOL babes imma have to correct you on some things. 😭

it’s not that wony is like “eh ik u like me but I don’t rlly wanna deal with that so! uhm!.. anyway!” she’s genuinely playing hard to get with yn, she feels like yn will always wait for her so she just doesn’t want to get into a relationship just as yet, I think I’ve mentioned it in early asks but wonyoung is playing hard to get with yn😭. wonyn is really a sad situation when you think about it because they’d be really good for each other but they’re not on the same page at all like wow!yn doesn’t think wonyoung likes her even tho wony does hold some feelings for her but she’s waiting it out but realizing that her time is running out. The only reason why wow!yn breaks up with people sometimes if wony doesn’t like them because wonyoung is genuinely her best friend if Giselle didn’t like one of yn’s gfs yn would probably break up with them as well, it’s so easy for her do that because she was just bored like she wasn’t in the relationship for real feelings if she acc had real feelings for the person it would be a different story take winter for example BOTH wonyoung and yujin didn’t like her and yn knew that but yn didn’t break up with her because she genuinely liked her but then she realized that she genuinely liked her so she broke up with her LMAOOOOOO. I wouldn’t call wow!yn a loser because she genuinely has problems, she has some mental instability. like her problems with her dad has definitely affected how she thinks about things and butchers how her mind functions in certain situations, she is a sad person tho. ANYWAYS moving on from wow!yn

my favourite yn and wow!yn and nwjns!yn THE SISTERS honestly I love wow!yn because she’s my most complex yn and honestly she’s just such a shit head and it’s so fun and amusing writing her and nwjns!yn is just a sweet mess like when I finally introduced her fic you guys will see what I mean, she’s the exact opposite of her sister 😭 (also a respectful mention of aespa!yn)

LOL they both need therapists for real so you got the job‼️ aespa!yn is a mess she’s a rich mess (I just took in that you like the two extremely rich yn’s LOL also firecracker!yn is always on someone’s favourite list and it always makes me laugh LMAOOO)

yes I am totally gonna explore richgirl!yn more, I tried my best to give a small peak into richgirl!yn having some problems I was so happy when you picked up on it in ur last ask for her

I honestly love long asks so much so this was fun to read LOL and thank you so much for reading and enjoying my works

[yellowstonewolves]

Honestly the appeal of fan content centered around Wyll to me isn’t that I think he’s that underrated? I mean, he is a little underrated I think that he has by FAR the worst writing of any origin character in the game.

On paper he’s really interesting. He’s supposed to be this wide eyed idealist fairytale believer who took a devil pact regardless! He’s been a wandering monster hunter since he was kicked out by his beloved dad at age seventeen! He believes wholeheartedly that he’s been fighting evil this whole time!

Except he’s ordered to kill someone who’s obviously not evil! He defies this order and learns that his contract can be (possibly has been?) used to force him into doing evil at any time! He ironically gets turned into a devilish form which oh no is going to ruin his reputation as a beloved hero!

But like…none of it matters.

He’s a hero with a reputation to uphold? Oh, except he barely gives a shit about that reputation. He doesn’t fully buy into his own awesomeness, it’s not a facade he desperately clings to, he doesn’t resent it because fame makes people weird towards him (it doesn’t! Npcs dgaf either way!) He’s not bitter that this is a mantle that was forced upon him! Nothing.

He’s been a wandering exile for the past seven years? Yeah but he’s not like, super lonely or socially awkward or desparate for stability or afraid of being tied down. He has a normal amount of friends somewhere or other. He’s not even like, notably worldly! Nothing!

He’s a monster hunter? He has a pretty average attitude about monsters and danger. He gets turned into a devil? He’s briefly sad about it. Npcs generally dgaf. Okay???

He’s a hero who chose to be pacted to a devil? Oh, for some reason you have to wait to find out why for most of the game. Oh what was the reason? He was in a situation where pretty much anyone would have made the same choice. Cool haha lmaoooooo.

I like that fanwork can capitalize on the potential in his backstory and act 1 story because the game as written really avoids making choices about who he is and why. He’s well acted, charming and has so much potential! But he and his story stick out as very generic in the final product.

But eh, this is not the era of fix-it and fanon. We all think that’s so cringe and childish and lame now. This is the time of “he would not fucking say that” where it’s considered bad practice and ~bad literary analysis~ to say that canon failed at something as big as the final draft characterization of one of their main characters.

So people feel the need on tumblr to blame the lack of enthusiasm for Wyll on like, people’s failure to adequately love him! It’s moralizing and obnoxious and it results in a lot of fics where the interesting stuff that’s hinted at is left unexplored and his main function is to be gently horrified at whatever someone else is going through. Sad!

[lalunanymph]

You listen here, you lil bitch. I fucking love you.. I LOVE YOU!!!!!

I actually waited for you to fall in love with Satoru, I really did. And to finally read your work about him since Entagled… dear lord, how happy I am.

I am always a sucker for your work Dawny, I just love how your writing resonates so much with me. It feels home, it feels cosy and dreamy!

Thank you for writing I THINK I'M LOST AGAIN, it was fun reading it. I cant wait for the continuity of this story if you ever decide to write this masterpiece!!

“From the fall of your hair to how the sunset looked painted across your skin, the foolish skip of his heart was a bigger sign of his crumbling feelings than any other emotion you might have elicited in him.” --- girl, lemme tell you, i keep rereading this just to feel loved, again and again lmaoooooo

“That you didn’t hear how he broke down in the emergency room, screaming his head off with blood on his hands.” --- low key lost here, why there's blood on his hands?? (also low key, wanna keep myself surprised tehehehehehe)

I am very very glad to know that this isn’t a typical cheating fic <3

thanks for feeding me Dawn sayang!

-your fan

you had me in the first half ngl 🖐🏼 but i read this and was like .... phew, it's not hate hhhh

i honestly feel so bad hoarding ur ask but i think this moment is the right time to answer it what with the world ending (jjk manga leaks) </3 truly feel like smacking myself for falling in love with that white-haired loser at such a shitty time omg

BUT thank you so much you are so kind i am crying in the back sobbing about how much u guys seemed to love this liddol new series :') i do plan on continuing ITILA and finishing the second chapter once i have a bit more free time <3

[reki-of-the-valley]

IGNORE IF I JUST UNFOLLOWED-REFOLLOWED BY ACCIDENT. SORRY BOUT THAT I CLICKED THE WRONG BUTTON.

Anyways. For the fanfic ask:

2, 5, 8, and 24? :]

Lmaoooooo don't worry about it!!

2. Will you participate in any fandom exchanges or fic challenges, etc.?

I don't plan on participating in anything simply because I'm only starting to get out of a major burn out, but I'm not opposed to it either! It could be fun!!

5. Which WIP is first on your list to complete this year? Will you post a snippet?

Ooh!!! I think the first thing I'll post is this Claudeleth sparring session I've been editing this past week, but have been hoarding it since September and it's a rewrite of something I wrote in 2019 for some OCs! My best friend dared me to rewrite it now that my writing has improved quite a bit since then, and it just was fitting for Claudeleth

Here's a snippet!

“Not bad, Teach, but,” Claude grins as he wipes away beads of sweat that drip from his forehead, “is that really all you got? I thought you said you weren’t going easy on me, make me work for that victory. Unless that really was your best shot and you’ve lost your edge, Ms Renown Merc.”

Byleth narrows her eyes, sucking in a heaving breath. The boy had gotten stronger since the last time they had sparred; maybe such is the effect of his becoming a man behind her back. He’s as cunning as  ever, but there’s more to him now. Now, he seems stronger, more calculating, less predictable. He seems steadier on his feet; it’s not as easy to knock him back as it had once been. It’s not as easy to pin him down and claim victory.

8. Is there a story idea in your mental vault that you've never been brave enough to try writing? Is this the year? Can you tell us about it?

I can't think of anything super concrete, but I've been thinking about writing sex scenes a lot more recently. I used to be super scared of writing (and God forbid posting) smut but I posted my first rated M fic last week! And I think I'd like to write more sex scenes in the future! It's a dynamic in relationships I'd like to explore and also it'll push me to develop my own way of writing it! Because I know I will never be extremely explicit, but I can still make those intimate scenes beautiful 💛 and Claudeleth is a ship I don't feel weird about the prospect of having sex, sooooo

24. By the end of this year, you want your fandom to think of you as "that author who..."

Oh man, that's a really good question. For anyone who reads my fe3h stuff, id like to be that author who makes messes beautiful. Because that's how I've been portraying Claudeleth: a beautiful mess

I wanna write more renga stuff this year as well, and I'd like to be that author who writes Langa as unapologetically gay, confused, and Canadian. Or that author who portrays (gender) queerness in a way that will bring tears to their audience

[gasolinerainbowpuddles]

"I feel like I should be under the covers reading it with a flashlight."

LMAOOOOOO I fucking love this! It actually captures the vibe of the fic really well imo. There's a constant underlying current from the reader's mindset of "is it okay to like this?" and "does doing these things make me a bad person?" that Dave helps her navigate and embrace.

I'm ngl I sorta wanna write more for them 👀

𝕂𝕚𝕟𝕜𝕥𝕠𝕓𝕖𝕣 🎃💦 ∘₊✧ 𝔻𝕒𝕪 𝟛𝟙 ✧₊∘

|| ︶꒦꒷𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕜𝕥𝕠𝕓𝕖𝕣 𝕞𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥꒷꒦︶ | main masterlist ||

@absurdthirst's Kinktober 2023 Prompts

Day 31: Free For All (I chose to interpret this as whatever I wanted to write, and so I chose innocence/corruption kink)

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐍𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤

| PAIRING(s):  Dave York x innocent!fem!reader | RATING: explicit material | 18+ | WORD COUNT:  7.1k | CONTENT: affectionate pervert catches feelings, dd/lg vibes sprinkled throughout, virginity loss, lots of firsts, inexperienced reader, religious trauma, feelings of shame/guilt/doubt, protective!Dave, he's still a smug asshole tho, soft dom daddy type shit, dacryphilia?, POV switching, sort of a loose time format in the progression of the story | SYNOPSIS: Your sense of identity finally fractures. Dave is there to help you learn who you really are.

"𝙱𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚖𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚕𝚘𝚠, 𝚆𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚜, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚎𝚜 𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚌𝚔 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚕𝚎; 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚒𝚌𝚔, 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝙱𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚕𝚘𝚠. —　Ａｌｆｒｅｄ　Ｔｅｎｎｙｓｏｎ

“What if you’re– what do you do if you think you might not be a good person? I mean– how do you know if you’re a good person?”

You’d asked him this almost four months ago now. Trembling hands. Teeth gnawing at your pouty lips. Downturned eyes misted with tears. The irony of you asking him of all people about what makes someone good or not wasn’t lost on him. 

He wasn’t exactly the paragon of virtue given his extensive, murky past, but you didn’t know that. There seemed to be a lot of things you didn’t know. You were so unsure of yourself, having been practically sequestered by your religious zealot parents from being able to learn much of anything even if you wanted to.

 He’d answered truthfully that a lot of people had different ideas of what made somebody a good person, and there wasn’t really a clear-cut answer. Your face had drawn into even more of a confused, lost expression. Your entire life had been a black and white dichotomy of purity vs evil, dictated by some bullshit ancient text that the people screaming at you from the podium every Sunday probably didn’t even believe or adhere to themselves.

“I’m afraid I’m a bad person,” you’d admitted to him in a strained whisper.

He could tell you were genuinely afraid. Again, he was tactful but truthful in his response: from what he knew of you, he didn’t believe that you were a bad person, but it wasn’t really his or anyone else’s call to make. You’d nodded and appreciated his candor, but it didn’t stop you from crying.

He’d brought you into a pacifying embrace, softly stroking your back, and trying his damndest to not let you feel his cock quickly hardening. You were so helpless and sad and confused, and he knew he could be the anchor you so desperately sought. Something certain. Something unwavering to tether yourself to until you weren’t so scared of becoming your own person.

“I don’t care if you’re a good person or not.”

You’d blinked in silent confusion when he said it, not quite understanding how such a thing was possible.

“I mean it. I like when you’re around. I don’t care if you’re good or bad. I like you just how you are.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. I do. And I think you like being around me, too.”

You’d nodded your head firmly at that, eyes flitting away in embarrassment to admit it. Your mouth parted so exquisitely when he’d gingerly gripped your chin to make you look at him again.

“Say it.”

“I like being around you,” you breathed. “You make things feel less confusing. It doesn’t–It doesn’t feel so scary all the time, if I’m with you.”

From then on he’d taken it slowly so as to not frighten you away. You needed him. You needed his help, his guidance. Despite being 22, your austere parents and strict upbringing had kept you from certain social and emotional milestones. You were crippled with the sort of self-doubt he’d expect in a freshman trying out for the varsity team.

You started lying to your parents about your whereabouts so you could see him more often. That was the first major hurdle to cross. The agony of being dishonest was something that truly unsettled you. Something seemed to click, though, when he’d told you that people should earn your trust and that it wasn’t something to just give away freely, even if they were your family.

He could see it in your eyes, the way they held his and danced, that you understood. Trust was to be earned and given – not demanded and taken. He left out the part of his thoughts about how maybe you shouldn’t trust him too much, either. 

You’d felt a magnetic pull to him – authoritative and sure of himself – from the moment you met. You were too scared to admit and act on all the thoughts you had about him. It was the same thoughts that had you lying awake at night in your childhood bedroom, sobbing and fearful of an eternity in hell for all the things you felt for him.

But then you’d see him again, and he was kind. He made you feel safe. He made your brain quiet in a way you’d never experienced. You didn’t feel scared to do or say the wrong thing constantly. You wished so badly that he could see you in the same way you saw him.

He never made passes at you. He saw you as some charity case, probably. You weren’t exactly knowledgeable about how to present yourself as a sexual person or if you even were one to begin with. 

The illustrations in the 70’s health textbook you’d rented from the library in eighth grade didn’t make you feel very much. It all looked confusing and strange. One passage even said it wasn’t expected for women to orgasm at the same rates men did. You certainly weren’t going to insert anything into yourself, and rubbing your palm against your clitoral hood like the book said felt overwhelming and like you were doing something bad. Your body felt like it belonged to someone else and you were violating it.

That same year you’d pecked a boy on the lips. Nothing. He’d told you that you were a bad kisser and left you to quietly cry over it. A few years later you tried again, knocking teeth with a different boy as you tried to mimic the tips in those teen girl magazines you read in a hurry at the grocery store, shoving it back onto the rack before your parents caught you reading such explicit things. Both times had left you wondering if you perhaps were meant for the nunnery. Maybe you weren’t even attracted to anybody. Maybe you should stop trying. Maybe your life was destined to be a sexless, holy sacrifice. 

Dave had obliterated all such suspicions. Your entire body felt like it was on fire the first time you were close to him. Your inhales were so heavy and short the first time he patted your bicep in a gesture of kindness that he’d asked if you were having trouble breathing.

When he found out you’d up and left your parents house, unable to take anymore of their suffocating judgment and rules, he tracked you down to the underfunded women and children’s shelter that you were staying at. You refused his offer of paying for you to stay somewhere, but you couldn’t hold out when he insisted your only other option was to come stay with him until you were back on your feet. While you knew it would never come down to him dragging you out of there, he still warned you he’d do it if he had to. Part of you considered resisting just to feel his big hands scoop you up and maneuver your body like a limp little doll.

It was beyond your wildest dreams that you would be staying under the same roof as him, even if you were in the bedroom down the hall. He’d been so stern with you but not in the way your parents always were. He wasn’t callous and lashing out because you were some massive failure. He was upset with you, sure, but it was because you hadn’t come to him first before running off to a rundown shelter without any real plan of what came next. He’d gone on and on about how it wasn’t safe and how you should’ve known better than to not reach out to him.

When you broke down in tears at having let him down so spectacularly, his face softened immediately. He consoled you, held you tight, until the tears dried up. Your body trembled from the stress of it all. That’s when he’d said your nickname for the first time: bunny.

“You’re shaking like a frightened little rabbit,” he’d noted. “My little frightened bunny. You don’t have to be scared anymore, bunny. You understand?”

You sniffed and nodded and burrowed deeper into his hold. He wasn’t mad at you. He wasn’t disappointed. He just cared about you a lot and wanted what was best for you. You followed his guidance like a lost little puppy, and it felt so good to have someone to trust with your life. He tucked you into bed every night, and you pouted when he closed the door. You didn’t want to be in here by yourself. You wanted to be in his room. With him. Together.

But you weren’t sure how to say those sorts of things or if the feelings even made sense. It felt like you didn’t know much of anything, but Dave was slowly changing that. Maybe one day he could help you with these confusing feelings, too.

He noticed how you squirmed on the couch, clearly distracted by something you wanted to say but couldn’t. It was something he’d been trying to work with you on. He was patient no matter how many times you stammered and stalled and chickened out of whatever it was you were trying to say. Sometimes it was as simple as saying what you wanted for dinner. Other times it was something else, something a little more intimate.

He saw the way you watched him when you thought he wasn’t paying attention. Your body certainly responded to him even if you couldn’t vocalize it yet. You didn’t even understand the way you drove him crazy with your peaked nipples showing through a soft, loose t-shirt or the way your shorts rode up your pussy when you sat criss cross on the counter in the morning and watched him work.

He determined very quickly that he couldn’t just let you out of here. The world would chew you up and spit you out. It would ruin you and break you. Some other man would come along and take advantage of you. They wouldn’t treat you right, not like how he would treat you. You were safe here and moldable. He could help guide you into a different person, the kind of person you wanted to be but didn’t even know it yet.

“Something bothering you, bunny?”

Your eyes go wide like you’ve been caught red-handed. Your face was so easy to read he almost felt a little guilty using it to manage the conversation.

“No,” you lie.

He tilts his head and pins you with an unconvinced look. “There’s no need to lie. You can trust me, you know.”

As he predicted, you’re immediately apologetic and placating, assuring him that you do trust him. He lets you fester in the anxiety for a few beats before holding up a hand to signal you stop, which you do immediately.

“You’re alright. Don’t be nervous. You can tell me anything.”

You nibble on your lip and look down to your hands, picking at the dead skin along your fingernails.

“Stop picking at your skin and look at me when you speak,” he says firmly but not unkindly.

Your big round eyes slide up to meet his probing gaze. You hug your arms around yourself and sit up straighter. “Um. I just… I was… I’ve been getting scared at night,” you admit.

“Scared? You don’t have to be—”

“It feels scary to be alone in there,” you amend.

You do your best to meet his eye. He’d known for weeks now that you wanted to share his bed with him. As much as he liked the idea of your body slithering against his all night, it was the only time he had to keep a clear head. It was difficult at times to be patient with your personal growth. He didn’t want to rush things, and your ass rubbing against his morning wood wasn’t something he was sure he could resist.

“If it would help, I can stay with you after I tuck you in. Until you fall asleep,” he offers like he hadn’t already prepped for this exact scenario.

It’s obvious you hadn’t expected him to extend time together in the intimacy of your room, and he can’t help but mirror the big smile that brightens your entire face. Your mood is buoyant the entire day and through the evening, all the way through your nighttime routine. He sits on the side of the bed like he always does, looking down at your cozied body all snuggled inside the comforter. What he doesn’t expect is for you to ask for more.

“I’m kinda cold,” you say with weak conviction. “Do you think, um, that maybe you could, like, rub my arms really fast? You know, like, friction? To make me warmer?”

He sees right through the farce but wants to reward you for speaking up. “Of course,” he hums gently. He runs his hands on your biceps through the comforter in moderately paced passes and watches your face go a little lax, your eyes slightly hooded. He rubs up and down your legs for good measure and has to hold back a chuckle at the little sigh you let out. He really shouldn’t, but he presses a kiss to your forehead and cups your jaw.

“Better now? You warm, little bunny?” he coos.

You made a squeaky sort of yes sound, and he smiles warmly down at you.

Every night now he tucks you in, runs his hands over your body to “warm you up,” and gives you a little kiss on the forehead. He stays until you fall asleep, which is very difficult with how worked up you get from his hands being all over you, even if it’s through a plush comforter. After a whole week of it, you actually grow a little bit moody and agitated. Your body feels like static electricity and restless, like something needs to happen to help it calm down.

You have to apologize to Dave when you get short with him over not wanting to finish eating your strawberries. It makes between your legs feel even more warm and sticky when he informs you that you will be finishing your berries and hand feeds you each and every one until the bowl is empty. You take his fingers just inside your mouth on the last one, just to feel them and suckle the juice. His usually stoic face pinches for a split second, mouth dropping open a little.

You think you might start refusing berries more often if you got to feel his hands in your mouth again. 

It was bound to happen. Your soft knock on his bedroom door at two in the morning. The low whisper of his name until he acknowledged you. He taps his bedside light on and watches your eyes bug when you realize he’s shirtless.

“What’sa matter?” he asks, voice thick with sleep.

Your long t-shirt dances across your bare thighs, no sleep shorts to be found. You fidget with your hands and move from foot to foot. “Can I please stay in here with you? Just for tonight? I won’t wake you up anymore. I just–I really need you, Dave.”

Your voice breaks on the last part, and he can’t send you back to your room like this, all agitated and nervous. He wordlessly lifts the blanket for you to join him, and you quickly crawl underneath it and whimper when he leans over you to turn out the light again.

“You wanna talk about it?” he offers even though he already has a fairly good idea of what the “issue” is. When you don’t respond, he drives the conversation forward in a more pointed direction. “You wanna tell me why you aren’t wearing any sleep shorts?”

“I had to take them off,” you choke out.

“Your legs are gonna get col–”

He stops short when his hand grazes over your bare hip. You’re not wearing anything at all under your t-shirt.

“It was too tight down there. It was all achy, and I had to take everything off. It was so bad, Dave. It was hurting. I couldn’t stand it any longer,” you rush to explain, sounding on the verge of a genuine panic.

“You ever have that happen before?” he feels out.

“Yes,” you mumble quietly.

“And what did you do before to make it go away?”

“I.. had a pillow tucked in between, and… nothing happened. It sort of made it worse. Until it went away after a while.”

“Is that what you tried tonight? And it didn’t work?” he probes.

“I get it worse and worse since I’ve been here, Dave,” you sniffle. “It keeps happening, ever since you warm me up after tucking me in.”

“You poor thing,” he coos. “S’that why you’ve been taking so long to go to sleep?”

You make a pathetic little sound of affirmation and clutch at him. He angles his hips away so you can’t feel how hard this is making him.

“Well I think I know how to help, but I don’t want to scare you.”

“I need your help, Dave. Please.”

He’s grateful for the cover of darkness to obscure his wolfish grin. “Have you ever made yourself come before, bunny?”

You whimper and tell him no but that you’ve tried. How your mind gets filled with shame and eternal damnation and fear. How you’re ashamed that you can’t even help yourself, like you don’t even know your own body. How helpless you feel. He calms you down and explains how he’s here to help you. You thank him endlessly, little errant tears finally drying up.

“I’m gonna help you tonight, bunny, but we’ll need to discuss it in the morning, okay?”

“Okay,” you agree.

He turns your back to him and pulls you flush against his chest. You startle at the feeling of his hard cock nudging at the swell of your ass through his sweatpants.

“Dave,” you whisper, nearly hoarse with nerves and fright.

“You’re okay,” he reassures you. “That’s just something that happens when a man is around a beautiful woman.”

“I don’t— I’m not ready for—” You start to sound panicked. This wasn’t how he was going to fuck you for the first time. For your first time. He wanted to savor every step of this. No rushing. He wanted to take you apart piece by piece until your body responded to his every word, every movement. His perfect little thing.

“Ssshh, it’s okay. It’s gonna stay where it is, okay? You might feel it because you’re pressing against it, but it’s not coming out today, okay?”

“Okay,” you breathe in a sigh of relief.

“You don’t ever have to be nervous with me, bunny. You don’t have to be scared anymore. Not here.”

“Thank you,” you sniffle.

He whispers in your ear every small touch before he does it so you’re not surprised. He taps the light on again so he can see your face when he makes you come for the first time. It doesn’t take long, just a few delicate circles against your soaked clit. You’re bucking and crying and trying to hold onto him as you experience it all for the first time. You thrash around until you’re facing him, and then you wrap your entire body around him and hold on for dear life.

He smiles against your temple, tells you how wonderful you did, how beautiful you are. He ignores his erection, so tight and hard that it’s painful, until you fall asleep. He takes care of it in the bathroom before slipping back into bed with you. There’s no going back now.

It was the best night of your life. It was the best sleep of your life. You woke up to Dave reading news articles on his phone, waiting patiently for you to wake up. Your body was clamped to his like you might float away if you didn’t hold on tight enough. He didn’t make you feel embarrassed about anything. He just asked how you were feeling and if you were feeling better, if he had helped you at all. You assured him he had and thanked him a million times over.

When you talked about what had happened, he asked that you always let him know if you were feeling like that so he could help you. So, you did. Every night for the next four nights. Then it happened during the day, just after breakfast on the couch. He was slower that time. More methodical. More watchful. Trying out new ways to help you.

“No, don’t think about it. Keep your eyes on me and focus on how it makes you feel,” he instructs with a firmness that had you complying within seconds.

His fingertips are wide and heavy on your tongue. Saliva is starting to pool and stick to his fingers. You grasp at his wrist with both hands to bridge the gap between your bodies.

“Good. That’s good. Keep going.”

You lift the tip of your tongue and let the heft of his fingers weigh it down. Without thinking, you gently suckle. Dave’s eyes grow dark and focused, and it makes you suckle again and harder.

“There you are,” he breathes. “Just focus right here – focus on me.”

You whine at the encouragement, eyes feeling heavy and fogged, and split his fingers with your tongue. Your mouth hangs open with the movement, and he takes the opportunity to slowly rub his fingers back and forth along your gums.

“You like the way I feel in your mouth, bunny?”

The double meaning is nearly lost on you, but your cheeks burn with the confusing need his ambiguous, suggestive question drowns you in. Your brows scrunch in concentration. You pull his fingers out of your mouth just enough to answer.

“I like you in my mouth,” you whisper. “It feels good. You feel good. You make me feel good.”

He hums a lazy acknowledgement, draws his fingers back together, and slides them back into your mouth on the span of your tongue. “Suck.”

You oblige with a tentative suction that grows stronger with a few pulls.

“Good. That’s so good, bunny. You’re such a good girl for me.”

I can be good for you echoes in a scream inside your head.

As if every thought is plastered onto your forehead, Dave coos, “I know you want to be so good for me, don’t you? I know you can be such a good girl just for me, isn’t that right?”

A crackly moan gets stuck in your throat as you mindlessly bob your head in agreement.

“I wanna see just how much you like it.”

He pulls his fingers from your mouth until they release with a soft slurping pop. His hands are already pushing the hem of your nightgown up your thighs like some theater curtain rising to debut the show.

“I’m gonna give her a little kiss, okay?”

You don’t have time to process what he means before his hot mouth is pursed around your clit. You fall apart in record time, overwhelmed with how there was something else that could feel so good. He never stopped making you feel so good.

You can’t stop thinking about more. You worked up the nerve to ask Dave if there were books or websites you could use to learn about sex and intimacy. He always found you the perfect article and even read it to you. Everything was handpicked by him and explained without making you feel dumb. Just hearing him say the words aloud was enough to get you going. It was mostly information about what things were called or how exactly things worked, but he made it sensual nonetheless.

Dave snores softly next to you, but you’re wide awake. The electric pull to have him do more to you made it difficult to sleep last night. You’re not even sure how to ask for it. You’re not even sure what more means in the grand scheme of things. You just know that following his words and whims felt safe and warm and intoxicating. You want him to show you more. You want to be good for him again. He finally stirs awake, and you immediately pounce.

“I-I can’t – couldn’t really sleep last night. I- Can I be good for you again?”

A sleepy, self-satisfied smile creeps onto his features. “Of course, bunny. You’re always good for me.”

You exhale a deep breath that had been lodged in your chest. Every time he spoke felt like a warm blanket wrapping around you, making you snug and safe.

He rubs his eyes and sits up against the headboard. A funny expression crosses his face just before he asks if you want to “see him.” He tilts his head, motioning to his groin.

You gulp but tell him yes. It’s unnerving, but you’re already getting wet just seeing the outline of his cock against the fabric of his sweatpants.

“Take it out,” he says softly.

You swallow hard again but tug his waistband down, flinching when the heft of him smacks against his stomach.

“Go on and give it a kiss,” he says, low and secret. Just something special between the two of you.

You eye his hard cock with hesitance, knowing full well that you were supposed to somehow fit this thing in your mouth eventually. It was oral sex – a “blowjob” according to the sites you and Dave had been looking at – but you weren’t sure how to do anything, even with your readings.

“Just a little kiss, bunny,” he encourages, holding it firmly at the base in his big hand that makes it look a little less imposing. “Just like how you had my fingers in your mouth. And look at me when you do it.”

You hold his eye as you sink down between his legs. He rubs the head across your soft lips and groans when the tip of your tongue sneaks out to taste it. It smells warm and masculine, so very much Dave. Something about that is comforting and makes you less nervous.

You kiss it like the first time you kissed his mouth. You try to remember how you intuitively suckled his fingers and replicate the movements. Seeing him experience pleasure because of something you were doing was like a drug. His breath hitched as you wrapped your lips around the head, and you wanted to hear that gorgeous sound on repeat until the end of time. You don’t get as long as you’d like, but he explains that you’re making him feel so good he worries he might come too soon.

You feel hot all over when he tells you to prop yourself up against the headboard and spread yourself open for him. You hold your pussy lips apart, just like he said, and watch him tug on his cock. You might be able to do that for him one day soon, you think. You study the movements so you can use them, too, like a cheat code. Your breath stills when he jerks his load all over your spread out pussy. The warm trickle of it drips down and splashes onto your thighs. It feels nice.

“C’mere,” he grunts the moment he’s done spilling all over you. 

He lays down again and hauls you over to sit on his belly, thighs hugging his torso. His cum smacks and sticks against his skin where your pussy is seated against him.

“Rub yourself on me,” he orders. 

He braces his hands on your hips and starts guiding you to rock back and forth. You rest your hands on top of his and try to follow his motion. The friction feels nice, something vulgar and sensuous about wriggling around with his cum plastered all over your privates.

“Lemme see you come, just like this,” he rasps.

You try and try, but you can’t bring yourself to climax. You’re growing more frustrated by the minute that you can’t come. You feel aroused. You want to come. Your brain is holding you hostage yet again. As usual, Dave takes notice of your internal struggles.

“Can’t get there on your own, hm?” he asks with a tone dripping in amusement and arrogance.

You shake your head, slightly embarrassed but mostly worked up.

“Aw, no? That’s what I’m here for. I’ll help you feel good, bunny. Just ask really nice for it, and I’ll make you feel good.”

“I need you to make me feel good,” you whine. “Please. I can’t do it. I need you to make me feel good, Dave. Please.” 

He keeps one hand on your hips and pushes for you to rock faster. His other hand snakes between your folds and plays with your clit.

“So good for me.”

You come undone, rocking yourself back and forth through the rhythmic spasm of your walls. You’re panting still when he swipes two fingers beneath your entrance and scoops up the mixture of fluids. He holds it in front of your face, and you think you know what he wants you to do. You suckle his fingers and swallow down the mixture. It’s bitter and tangy and earthy. Not the worst thing you’ve ever tasted, but the texture is strange. He repeats the act and tells you not to swallow. It’s thick on your tongue, your mouth flooded now. 

“Open your mouth.”

You aren’t sure why he’d want you to do that when he’s just filled your mouth, but you trust him.

“Wider. Let it drip out.”

You roll your tongue forward, sending your spit and mixed fluids over the edge of your lip and dripping down your chin and onto your chest. He watches you with a restrained fire and smears it across your chest. You buck at the sensation when he thumbs your nipple.

“So sensitive,” he says quietly, almost to himself.

“Sorry.”

His eyes flick up to yours at the shame laced apology. “There’s nothing to be sorry for. You’re so good for me. You did everything so well for me, bunny.”

You smile shyly at the encouragement. He always knows just what to say.

He was practically toying with you now. Every little thing was new to you, and every little thing made you a pliant, responsive mess for him. You were eager in a way that made him feel young again. Your mood had improved significantly since you moved in with him. You didn’t say unkind things about yourself as frequently. You were learning how to ask for the things you wanted. You were speaking with confidence and holding your head a little higher.

You were over the moon at the most basic things, to the point that it almost aggravated him that you had been given so little before you met him. You deserved so many things. You looked beautiful at the special little dinner he’d arranged for your birthday. You cried over your gift – a small, unused corner of the house that he’d fashioned into a little makeshift library with two plush seats and a small table for coffees and teas and snack cakes.

You loved reading. Mostly classic romance novels, but some surprising choices as well, like murder mysteries and thrillers. You never got to read much of what you wanted to growing up, but those kinds of rules didn’t apply here. He listened to you relay the stories to him, holding back a laugh when you told him all about the scary hitman villain from your most recent read.

“And he’s-he’s, like, an assassin, you know? And, oh my gosh, I know he’s supposed to be bad and everything, but I think it’s so… I actually sort of like how he’s just so good at being bad, you know? He’s an expert in all kinds of stuff. That’s how he doesn’t get caught. It’s just, UGH. It’s so good! He sounds kinda handsome, too. From the description and all. Do you think they made it into a movie? Could we see if they made it into a movie, Dave? And watch it?”

He likes to think that if you knew the real him that you wouldn’t care if he was good or bad, either. Just like he didn’t care if you were good or bad. Although, you were most decidedly good through and through. He encouraged you to write. It was a good outlet for you, he thought. You weren’t even shy about reading your little stories to him. He thinks about your next birthday and having your stories bound by a professional bookshop.

You’re leaning over the counter reading again when he comes up behind you and curves his wide hands along the front of your thighs. He rests his head beside yours to keep your eyes straight ahead. You shiver and sigh when he rubs the folds of your pussy lips, one each between his middle and pointer fingers. He holds them while he wedges his fingers together, softly pinching your clit.

“Keep yourself up, bunny,” he purls.

He’s setting you up for failure. He knows your legs are already trembling. They’ll give way when you come, and he’ll be there to catch you and steady you. Your entire body shakes as you climax, and your balance slips just like he knew it would.

“Poor baby can’t even stand up once I get my hands on her,” he breathes in a laugh.

You shoot him a pouty look, and he can’t help but grin.

Another lazy, dreamy evening together. It was supposed to be bedtime, but then you’d started grinding on his thigh and things devolved from there. He holds you from behind and alternates between fucking you with his fingers and palm hitting your clit with small, quick pussy slaps. You buck and gasp, not entirely sure if you are enjoying it or not.

“What a messy little pussy,” he groans in your ear. “So wet I had to give it a little spanking.”

Your breath trembles when he starts talking. His words shut down your brain and put you into your body, hyper aware of every sensation. You swear you feel more arousal drool out of you.

“Yeah, I feel how much wetter this pretty cunt is getting just from being spanked.” He pulls his hand out and slaps your clit again, drawing a loud moan from you. He laughs under his breath at your reactivity.

He gives one harsh slap and immediately presses all four fingers flat against your clit and starts wiggling back and forth in a blur. You come hard and loud. 

He flips you on your back and spreads you open, rubbing his dick between your engorged lips.

“Fuck me,” he groans. “Look at these lips, all fat and wet from being spanked.” He presses them tight around his cock, and you whine at the overstimulation. He shushes you gently. “Be good for me. Be a good girl and let me fuck this puffy pussy.”

He thrusts lazily through the envelope of your swollen lips, pulling away at the very last second to spill all over your stomach. He feeds it to you, and you readily suck his fingers clean. He smiles when you open your mouth to show him you swallowed it all down.

The shame creeps up again after you use the bathroom and join Dave at the sink where you brush your teeth together every night. You’re quiet,  feeling conflicted about how you enjoyed him popping his hand against your privates and talking about them so crudely, almost like he was using your body solely for his own pleasure. You feel guilty and like you shouldn’t have enjoyed it. 

“You’re awfully quiet,” he notes.

Your eyes go wide. You were so lost in your thoughts you’d almost forgotten he was there. You shrug and brush your teeth for an excuse to stall. Even when you’re done you struggle to keep eye contact. “Was what happened earlier okay?”

He tenses, and you think he might misunderstand what you meant. Like maybe  you were upset about how he’d treated you.

“Did you feel uncomfortable with what I was doing? You wish I hadn’t done it?”

“No, it’s not that,” you insist. You chew your bottom lip and try to not let the waves of guilt consume you.

“Tell me what you’re thinking right now,” he demands, firm but not unkind. “And look at me when you answer.”

Your misted eyes find his, and his expression morphs into a softer, consoling expression. 

“Is it bad I liked it?” you ask, each word stumbling from your tongue.

“Is it bad you liked what?”

“When you… how you were .. touching me… sl-slapping it.. down there,” you practically whisper, feeling mortified and childish and unsure of yourself.

“Did it feel good?”

You nod.

“Then it’s not bad that you liked it.”

“But.. why did I… why did I like it?”

“You’re feeling ashamed because you liked it? You think you shouldn’t enjoy something like that?”

You sniff and nod. He pulls you close to him.

“When two people trust each other, there’s all sorts of ways you can explore and push boundaries. Sometimes you find a hard limit, and other times you find what you thought was the limit ended up being flexible and changeable.”

“What does that mean, though?”

He cups your face and tilts it back for you to fully look at him. “It means, bunny,” he says, steadfast and confident, “that you don’t have to accept what you thought were your limits. You’re free to learn and feel new things.”

“So why do I feel … why do I feel so guilty?”

“Because you’re unlearning all the lies you were told your entire life. That you should be ashamed about anything that makes you happy or makes you feel good.”

“Yeah…..” you concede.

He cradles your face and noses your forehead. “You’re experiencing all these new things with me. It’s good to learn what you like and what makes you feel good. I told you that’s what I’m here for. I’m here to take care of you, to make you feel good. To keep you safe and happy.”

You clear your throat and sniff away the emotion building up. “So I’m not a bad person for liking it?”

He smiles that lazy, arrogant way that makes your heart flutter. “No, bunny. You’re my good girl, remember? And good girls get to be nasty sometimes and get away with it. You can be bad when I let you, hm? You like when I let you be nasty, don’t you?”

Your cheeks burn with arousal and embarrassment. “Yeah,” you whisper.

“And you do such a good job being a nasty little slut for me.”

You gasp at the name, thighs rubbing together instinctively for reasons you still haven’t begun to understand.

He smirks at your reaction. “See, sweet girl? You know how much I like you being nasty for me. And it makes your little pussy all wet, doesn’t it?”

Without waiting for an answer, he pushes his hand between your legs and parts them so he can rub between your folds. He groans at the slick already pooling there. 

“I know what you need, bunny. I know how you need to be shown all the ways your body can feel good, and I care about you so much that I’m gonna do just that.”

“Th-Thank you,” you stammer, eyes drifting closed at the feeling of his hand working you slowly.

“Thank you for what?” he fishes.

“Thank you for letting me be good for you and for being your... your nasty little slut.”

“Good girl,” he praises emphatically. “Now come for me.”

His fingers press hard against your nub and rub vigorously back and forth, and your orgasm barrels through your lower belly.

“It’s not gonna fit,” you worry. “It’s too big. It’s not gonna fit in me.”

He’d worked you open for the better part of half an hour, but you were still nervous.

“Sshh shh, I know, I know,” he soothes. “That’s why you have to learn to take it. You have to be such a good girl for me and learn how to take it.”

He braces himself above you, notching himself at your entrance, and breaches the opening. You moan and whine and claw at him to be closer to you. You hiss when he gets the head inside, and he pauses to let you adjust. Wet kisses all along your neck and collarbone. Whispers of praise and encouragement. You finally relax again, and he feeds a little more of his cock to you.

He makes it about halfway when you gasp and clench at the sting. He waits, ever patient and soothing. He’s waited this long to be your first. He can wait a few more moments while you attempt to accommodate the size of him. He watches your face contort as you struggle to take him in.

“Is-Is it in all the way yet?” you squeak.

“Just a few more inches,” he promises, not even trying to conceal his smirk.

You start to protest as to how that’s even possible, but he cuts you off with a deep kiss. The weight of him stretching and pushing against your walls burns and delights all the same, and you’re a whiny mess when he finally bottoms out. He fucks you slow, talking almost the whole way through. Never letting you get wrapped up in your own head. Never letting you forget that you’re his and he would never, ever let anything happen to you.

He stops when you ask him to. He starts again when you ask him to. He works your nipple between his teeth, your clit with his thumb, and sinks in and out of you in tandem. The feeling of coming on his cock is entirely different than his mouth or even his fingers. His name leaves your lips in a song of praise and reverence. You suck his thumb when he places it on your tongue, a comforting thing while he pistons into you a little harder, a little faster.

He’s invaded every part of you, every sense overwhelmed with him him him.

“You want me to make you all warm inside, bunny? Give her something to drink for her very first time?” he husks.

You nod, all dopey and fucked out, sucking his thumb harder and harder. You watch with half-lidded eyes as his mouth drops open, brows all furrowed, never losing tempo as his hips crash into you, finally stuttering as his release starts to flood your insides. He stays inside you even past when he’s gone soft. You don’t want to lose any part of him. Don’t want to be separated from him in any way.

He snuggles you close in bed, nuzzling your neck and ear. “My perfect little bunny. You did so well. Knew you’d do so well for me.”

“I always wanna be yours,” you say in a hush.

“You’ve been mine this whole time, bunny,” he chuckles. “Mine all mine.”

tagging people who previously expressed interest:

@guiltyasdave @pedropeach @tonysopranosrobe @bonezone44 @angiewatson

@for-a-longlongtime @drunk-and-capable @604to647 @beardedjoel @quinnnfabrgay-writes

@umnitsa @youmeand5bucks @toxicrecs @syd-djarin @mothandpidgeon

@indiegirlunited @sizzlingcloudmentality @ghotifishreads @bubble-pop-eclectic

[theharrowing]

I appreciate your understanding! In all honesty, this is really the one of the only project/event/collabs I have done all year. I really been focusing on writing slowly and steadily and so I'm not used to the turnaround like I used to be.

This is a good practice for me to write faster and I'm really hopeful that I'll be able to write a ton before I start posting, this is a challenge for me so I'm really thankful that you are so understanding. Thank you!!! 💜

- Eggnog 🥚🥛

P.s. don't forget to rest up! Even though this is a hard week for both of us, rest is important.

more than anything, this project should be fun. i don’t think i could ever be disappointed. 🥰 even if you went on hiatus and updated every 6 months, all i ask is that you tag me when the posts are ready lolol. we should like this. when it feels like a chore, that can take the joy out.

and if you get into a groove writing this and suddenly it veers off into weird/unexpected ways, i fully support you. 😤

……says the earth sign who constantly overbooks and overwhelms themself lmaoooooo.

i get rest sometimes 🤪 i’ve read 2 chapters of Plain Bad Heroines and 1.5 chapters of a fic. i’m killing it!!!!! 😤💜

[kamuikissed]

🔥 if somebody hasn’t asked already, any unpop opinions on other kks and obt ships??

OOOOOOOOOOOF..... OK let's see LOLLLLLL gonna write abt the ones I like for everyone to see and talk abt all the rest under a readmore, from neutral to "I kinda like this BUT" to straight-up notps :'3

ADDENDUM: I forgot this was unopopos and just wrote up normal onions but like. It's a lot of text and I'm not remaking all of that 🤍 I think my biggest unopopos are "if I see another dominant seme sama kks I'm calling the cops" "if obt isn't kissing kks What Is The Point of it all" for these guys LOLLLLLLLL OK incoming wall of text:

kkgai: honestly if I weren't consumed by obkk THIS would be my otp..... I love everything they have and they have great chemistry, and the way in which the anime chose to invest in their friendship is brilliant as far as I've seen. Love them lots, I want to kiss every single kkgai content creator right on the cheek 🤍

zabukk: I love zabuza it is a tragedy he died in the very first arc and there's just something SOOOOOOOOOOOO SEXY abt the whole fight he and kks had and how like.... The fact zabuza and kks had to die was just bad luck? Like if they didn't have to fight I feel like they could've gotten on very well.... They're both smart and calculating, tools of their nations..... Something tells me zabuza wanted to coup in kiri bc he wanted to improve the conditions of the village (which, insane but, obt was controlling at the time... Craaazzzyyyyyy. But that's a conspiracy theory for another time) and I just feel like maybe, if things had been a little different...... They could've been allies....... and fuck like rabbits <3

obirin: I do prefer them as Best Friends™ but they do make my heart incredibly soft.... Tho the caveat is that I only like it when obt is also holding hands with kks bc I refuse to see obt without him LOLLLLLLLL A BI KING CAN HAVE A BOYF AND GF..... HE CAN HAVE IT ALL

Aaaaaand that's all the ones I like like. Under readmore is other onions but no one has to read that bc negativity (gonna talk abt ymkk, kisa/obi, obi/konan, kks x students, kk/iru, all that in order of neutrality to dislike)

ymkk: I think it's cute BUT.....,,...,..... I just think kks has much more chemistry with obt and gai. HOWEVER I haven't seen the anbu arc yet so my mind could change.... I do quite like unrequited yama->kks, I think it's very cute and love to see it but atm I just have trouble picturing kks reciprocating. Great ship tho, love to see others having fun with it!

kisa/obi: God I'd be ALL about this ship but I'm just INCAPABLE of shipping obt with anyone other than kks lollll..... Plus the specific flavour I like doesn't really seem to like. Exist outside of 1 fic??? That was a rly good fic I should reread it honestly. I love to imagine kisame being sooooooo devoted to "madara" and obt having fun with him.......... alas his heart belongs to kks </3

obi/konan: SAME ISSUE AS ABOVE HONESTLYYYYYYY I love to imagine them hate fucking but if kks is completely out of the picture I just go :'( D-DO NOT SEPARATE....?!!!??? crying 4 ever. Idk why I cant multiship obt, I have 0 trouble with kks lmaoooooo 😭😭😭😭

kks x students: OK so like FIRST THINGS FIRST kks would never. THAT BEING SAID I'm not bothered by fictional age gaps when everyone's an adult, but also like..... I don't think kks would be the kinda man to pursue old students LOL. Anyway I HATE kks/skr not just bc I see kks as gay, but also because with this ship kks is always portrayed as THE BIGGEST CREEP EVER LIKE WHAT THE HEEEELL????? Like the second I see ship art of these two everything feels SO wrong, god bless. That is not my kks.......

all that said, I love the concept of unrequited narukk 😭😭😭😭 remember: kks would Never. like older nart with this huuuge puppy crush on kks..... Like "omg sensei ur hokage now that's so cool u-um 😳😳😳" That's just very endearing to me. And kks hates it, he's just constantly grimacing under the mask and hopes it goes away soon bc this is the most uncomfortable thing he's ever experienced he doesn't want to break his heart so he just pretends he doesn't notice LOLLJDKJDJSJJK but yeah by what I've seen in fanart it's once again kks being a bigger creep than jira*ya himself and that just ain't my man...... 💔💔💔💔💔

I dont remember ever seeing kks/ssk but I imagine it's. Bad. So I'm just gonna leave it at that

AND LASTLY THE NOTP KKIR: it is the stale bread of kks ships and I straight up don't know what anyone sees in it. Feels like 90% of kkir shippers like it bc their fav character is irk and Who Else are they gonna ship with him lollllll..... I'm so sorry irk baby but. It's not great. By what I gather they interact much more in the anime but............. shrug emoji x 3465646

[butwhatifidothis]

Captains writing really be like: Byleth and the BEagles are found family. Because Im writing that they are right now in this chapter. Despite the fact that we are over thirty chapters in and I have done nothing to earn or establish this whatsoever up until now. Linhardt has had about five lines in total. (Lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, godawful writing dear lord!)

LINHARDT LMAOOOOOO SO TRUE

But yeah, it’s like... if you were to ask me, right now, to describe what the relationship between the Black Eagles are, I’d honestly be hard-pressed to tell you. Caspar is stupid. Ferdinand is stupid. Petra’s pretty cool. Dorothea is kinda dramatic. Whohardt. Bernadetta is scared. Marianne is sad. Ingrid is sad. Sylvain is maaaad? I guess? Lysithea is uwu lil’ sister. I can give a baseline description of the characters. But how they play off each other? What they do in their spare time? What they tend to do as a group? Whether some prefer hanging out with this BE over that BE but still ultimately likes everyone? Their inner dynamics? What they know about each other? What they want to learn about each other?

I can’t tell you any of that. I can’t tell you how Caspar reacts to Dorothea talking about plays and operas. I can’t tell you what Linhardt and Petra do with each other. I can’t tell you how Ferdinand’s optimism about nobility collides with Sylvain’s pessimism. I can’t tell you if the Black Eagles like to do anything together (other than watching Edelgard and Byleth spar). Like. Why should I think these bitches like each other? Why should I think they’re a family? What has been shown of the Black Eagles that shows how close they are? 

And hell, really, outside of Chapter 34, what was their relationship with Edelgard? Yeah we get a couple of those, like Ingrid and Lysithea and Dorothea, but like. Whohardt’s first actual back-and-forth conversation that lasted more than one or two lines... was in Chapter 34. +160k words into the fic - that’s the perfect time to have Edelgard talk with one of the default members of the Black Eagles! Ferdinand has had like... maybe two or three moments in this fic where he wasn’t a complete buffoon for the reader to point and laugh at - that’s the perfect treatment to give one of the characters you tagged as important in your fic!

Like, I get it - it’s hard to use all of these characters in a meaningful way! But that by no means excuses such blatantly lazy writing; I’ve read Claude centered fics that have managed to use the entire GD cast in a meaningful way that genuinely felt like they were a big found family, and the same is true for Dimitri centered fics for the BL. 

(Tho, their canon counterparts also actually feel like a family, whereas BE kinda doesn’t, but the point remains)

If Cap’n wants to make it such a big point that the BE are this big happy family, then he has to put in the effort and actually show that - he can’t stuff that into one rushed chapter by having Edelgard speedrun being a good person to everyone (save Whohardt). It diminishes any feeling of closeness the Black Eagles have and ruins any feelings of sadness the reader is supposed to feel whenever the Black Eagles are having a rough patch, because they’re basically just strangers that are kinda sad next to each other more than they’re a family going through a bad time. It just feels so shallow

[kingsofneon]

I like your omegaverse ideas too much. Like it scares me a little how much I'm into loss of autonomy stuff. (;ŏ﹏ŏ) It's hot though *whine* ⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄-⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄ Also what do you mean they get Shanks to fuck Marco? Say more right now! Please.

Aw buddy I totally get it tho oh my god. My fic history...COUGHS. ain't nobody seeing that shit but me and god. But really, rubious consent / consenual nonconsent and even specific noncon stuff really 👏....(me: it's about the control taken away so you don't actually have to think about the things you desire, loss of autonomy in a way that makes it easier to think because you don't have to give it up// GOD how bad is your wanting does a fucking....mido just rants in the tags and it's great and I vibe with it so hard

anyway I immediately thought of the below when i read the last part of your ask so i will indulge bc i want to rant abt it so bad LMAAOOO

ANYWAY it's one of the companion spin-offs on bleed for it I wanna write lmaOOOOoo

After they get together and are ~in love~ and all my dumb plot things are out of the way, one of the things they experiment/play around with is the fact that Marco wants to serve them and has difficulties with being doted on because as an alpha he thinks he shouldn't Like It. So if he can't be an alpha, they tell him that he'll be their omega instead. Very much abt marco's service kink + how tied he is to being Told to do things so he can be good + playacting as an omega because he likes to sub but doesn't know how + he thinks he can't hurt them if he's Theirs, and this is maybe a year in so he's still a bit Trauma about the stuff he did to Ace on top of not actually having a word for asexuality or really Getting it, so he likes when they organise things for him and get him to do things.

Ace likes his bfs being taken care of, so he's okay with it, and it is comfortable to have control, and Sabo, Sabo thinks it's hot as shit that Marco goes to his knees, but also he preens bc it feels like revenge sometimes too, to be mean and know marco likes it, to show him how he treated omegas with nonchalance and disregard and make Marco pay penance. Sabo pays his own, but he'll take his dues where he can get them.

This PARTICULAR scenario is neither Ace or Sabo have a knot (they've def used toys on him before, but think it would be fun to get him full and messy and humiliated) so they get Shanks involved to help them out. Really fuck Marco up. And really really fuck him.

They've talked about bringing in another alpha or using scent patches to disguise themselves, but having Shanks over, ah, Marco's not necessarily remembering those conversations. Shanks coming over is a normal occurrence.

There's alcohol involved, a little, because Shanks likes it, and Ace with his hands dragging on the nape of Marco's neck, Sabo with very pointed words and Marco VERY much wants Shanks to leave so he can make them hold to their teases, but then the topic shifts to omegas and very carefully Marco gets referred to as their omega. And he knows how to make them stop, if he wants, but he very carefully lets them steer, knowing they'll have planned something and always fine to follow their lead, up until the way they approach it with Shanks, picking deliberately at (spoiler, so I shan't say); "well omegas don't mind getting shared around as long as they get fucked. And we thought, well, you're such a good friend, why not."

Ace grinning, sharp, his hand on the nape of Marco's neck as he says, "Plus Marco's got a wandering eye. Might as well curb that."

And Marco flushing, because he doesn't, not really, but they're absolutely referencing the messy half-crush he had on Shanks when he was younger and it's embarrassing, and also, he doesn't want Shanks, not the way he wants them. Shanks is attractive and clever and fun, but he's loyal, in a way that means being passed off - pushed off the couch to slowly sink to his knees in front of Shanks, Sabo's foot braced on his back - is, humiliating? Longing. But if this is what they want him to do, it's embarrassing, but he still gets hot for it.

Shanks appraising him, cupping his cheek so gently to turn his head before saying that he guesses he can give it a shot, Marco's not his usual type, but they always wax poetic about how good he is, how caring and attentive, who's he to deny such affection?

Who Is He Indeed, but he does brim with compliments aimed so precisely at stuff that makes Marco flustered - at things that are lewd or explicit or go directly to things Ace and Sabo have said about him, to Shanks, while they're acting all high and mighty and not touching him. Letting Shanks do all the work, getting him slick and stretched and ready for a proper knot before asking Ace and Sabo their opinion on the best way to take him - to make Marco ride him, or to press him down on the table and fuck him that way?

"He's got plenty of stamina," Sabo offers, "and you've far more experience than us, I'm sure he'll enjoy whatever you decide."

"True," Shanks says with a grin, and pats Marco's side, getting him to stand. "Hear that? I know your boys try and take care of you, but I've got experience, baby, don't worry if you're speechless when I'm through."

Getting Marco to ride him so he can use his free hand to tease and discover sensitive places, complimenting them for their pretty, well-behaved omega, how well they've trained him, and Ace sitting on the edge of Shanks' chair arm but refusing to let Marco touch him, just watching so he can note when Shanks groans and shifts back, the way that he grabs Marco's hips and takes control of the pace.

Ace grinning, taking Marco's chin to stare into his dazed eyes, and Sabo comes up behind to lean over Ace's shoulder. Clicks his tongue, and says, "Don't be disrespectful Marco, he's a guest. He's putting in all this effort, and what, you're not going to be polite?"

Marco knows that everyone knows and he doesn't want to say it- managing a single please.

"Please what?"

"Shanks..."

"i don't know what you want omega." Shanks grinning as he catches their game, strained edges to it as he pushes Marco back, grip shaking as he forces his knot out of the tight heat to see Marco shudder at the pop, "Is there something you want to say?"

Marco swallowing so hard, so much feeling, and Shanks' cock is still okay, but he'd felt the press of the knot and it'd made his legs shake, and if it's not in him when it properly forms it's not going to go in, and Marco presses his lips together. Because what's the point of this game if he doesn't get knotted, and he'd told them, as well, the fantasy of feeling it, and he knows they'll understand and fake teasing disappointment but he can't-

"Alpha," he says, a whine slipping into his tone, and he watches Ace and Sabo grin gleefully, and that seems like more than enough for Shanks to bring him back down hard. And it was late, late enough to be half-formed, so the sudden press has Marco jolting like he'd touched a livewire, coming unexpectedly at the rough treatment. At how he was so suddenly split open, pain and pleasure a mix he wasn't expecting. Going boneless in Shanks' lap, exhausted and shuddering as Shanks cums in him, a feeling that toys can't emulate. Drooling just a little because he can't close his mouth, slack and panting.

Finally getting enough to mumble something like: my boyfriends are better and Shanks jolts in absolutely hysterical laughter, matched by Ace burying his face in his hands to stifle his own noises and Sabo trying to hide his fondness even as he tweaks Marco's ear.

(Sabo instigates cuddles that night; he refuses to let it be commented on). (But it is kind of sweet that Marco decided to defend their honour.)

(ALSO when I was talking this idea with Tams, idk, had the sudden thought that Shanks is not allowed to have kisses because that is for Ace and Sabo only. Only they get Marco kisses. Marco is fine if they kiss other people but he only really wants to kiss them.)

(Shanks is a bit of a grey area and Marco's okay if he has a bit more warning/if Shanks asks, but in this one he gets his open, panting mouth only teasingly kissed by Ace and Sabo as they pass by him to get a better view to watch)

(also momentarily back to loss of autonomy but low-key this, just, god. marco, ace, or sabo, giving up control for their partners in the ways that they themselves are physically or emotionally tied to, that they consider their strengths? Hm, yeah, just lemme (goes insane). Romantic, loyal Marco, so eager to be used, Sabo letting them tie him down, being broken in and kept, Ace allowing them to pull him apart and pick at his scars and make him heal- just. I have lots of other thoughts about that but this is scattered and I have done so much overtime this week but I wanted to finish this jhsjhd)

[aswellingstorm]

taylor swift x catradora playlist

in honor of evermore dropping tonight (midnight, EST) i humbly present the following by album break down of songs that miss swift wrote solely for catradora

taylor swift (2006)

tied together with a smile--the struggle adora faces being the hero/put on a pedestal from her horde days to becoming she ra

invisible--catra facing jealousy over adora’s new friendships

i’m only me when i’m with you--young catradora/growing up in the horde

fearless (2008)

forever & always-- broken promise. need i say more

white horse-- catra’s resentment for adora’s hero complex

breathe-- mutual catra & adora--struggling to cope with the other choosing the opposing side

you’re not sorry--adora coming to terms w post s3 catra & having to accept her former best friend has gone too far this time

change-- post s1 victory for adora

speak now (2010)

the story of us--princess prom catradora vibes

mean--unfortunately.........could see the best friend squad singing this therapeutically & adora thinking of catra

better than revenge-- ‘stealing other peoples toys on the playground won’t make you many friends//i’m just another thing for you to roll your eyes at honey’....jealous catra really comes thru here

innocent-- feel like this could be applied to adora but more specifically catra losing herself and her innocence in this war/getting caught in the cycle of abuse shadow weaver set her in at a young age

if this were a movie-- adora’s naïve hope that catra might make the right choice one day

haunted-- ‘all this time you and i have walked a fragile line, never thought i’d live to see it break’, easily fits into adora leaving the horde, but def has the angsty vibes for ‘save the cat’

back to december--regret. longing. wishing u could take something back but knowing you really cant

enchanted--ok hear me out. not necessarily a ‘meet cute’ for them, but could def see this song playing at a princess prom post s5 and being a cute look for them over all.

red (2012)

treacherous--post ‘save the cat’, catra learning redemption is....something she Wants

the last time--post-portal. def reminds me of the scene where catra saves glimmer and apologizes to adora

sad beautiful tragic-- break up sadness

the lucky one--more adora becoming she ra/learning the truth of mara

i almost do--catra & adora missing each other on opposite sides of the war

come back...be here--^^

state of grace--end of/post s5

1989 (2014)

out of the woods--i mean..........those ladies entered the whispering woods in s1 on a stolen skiff and did not leave until the end of the series

all you had to do was stay-- aside from the title... “let me remind you this was what you wanted // you ended it// you were all I wanted //but not like this”. def catra yearning

i wish you would--all of the lyrics. all of them

bad blood--warrants no explanation

this love-- “when you’re young, you just run// but you always come back to what you need”......................the defense rests

clean--s4 adora accepting and coming to terms w catra’s decision

wonderland-- really captures the betrayal/hurt of s1 catradora

you are in love-- adora POV// subtle moments leading up to realizing she loves catra

new romantics--”we need love, but all we want is danger//we team up then switch sides like a record changer”

catra’s personal memoir reputation (2017)

i did something bad--a title that could (unfortunately for everyone else) summarize a large majority of catra’s decisions. the song is very justified/righteous anger/revenge. basically a ‘fuck you, i know i’m bad’ & embracing that. reminds me of her kicking sw & hordaks ass (the rebellion could never) and her just...war criming it up in the crimson waste

Look What You Made Me Do-- void!catra void!catra void!catra void!catra void!catra void!catra--

getaway car--could see this from adora’s perspective to catra solely for the whole leaving/betrayal bit. but might be more fighting for double trouble & catra’s relationship

dancing with our hands tied-- i mean...lyrically. everything. but esp ‘I'd kiss you as the lights went out//swaying as the room burned down//I'd hold you as the water rushes in//If I could dance with you again”

dress-- “i dont want you like a best friend”. period. end of sentence. 

this is why we can’t have nice things--s1 promise feels. the lack of forgiveness, the shade. u know.

lover (2019)

cruel summer-- “i scream for whatever it’s worth, i love you--ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?” the heart. the longing. the ‘i dont want to keep secrets just to keep you’

the archer-- ‘who could ever leave me, but who could stay?’ + the rest of the song is v fitting for both catra/adora

afterglow--making up, admitting wrongs--catra perspective

miss americana & the heartbreak prince--idk just the narrative of the song reminds me of them

it’s nice to have a friend--whooooh boy this post is not about glimbow but this song works equally as well for them

daylight--enjoy the healing

lover--enjoy the healing pt 2

death by a thousand cuts-- warrants 0 explanation

folklore (2020)

finally

the 1-- definitley adora POV, reminiscing on maybe what they could have been. maybe in a world where catra never redeemed herself or they never reunited and adora watched her friends pair up/get married/build lives w each other, she might realize there is a whole in her heart. a part that’s missing and cant be explained, but she feels it every time she looks at glimmer&bow. 

cardigan-- feels like catra writing a letter to adora. reflecting on the feelings of hurt and betrayal after time has passed and the anger fades

exile -- lowkey the premise of my fic but. ‘i’m not your problem anymore/ you were my crown/ now i’m in exile seeing you out’ catra was raised to feel like she was adora’s problem to fix. she feels cast aside by her for a majority of the series etc

my tears ricochet-- “i didn't have it in myself to go with grace//and you're the hero flying around saving face//and if I'm dead to you why are you at the wake?//cursing my name, wishing I stayed//look at how my tears ricochet” tswift explained this in the doc about how no one can hurt you like your best friend turned enemy. so i think in that sense this song works from adora’s perspective--but there’s so much bitterness and anger that i feel like it fits more from catra’s POV

seven-- “love you to the moon and to saturn//passed down like folksongs//the love lasts so long” i feel like this is so young/child adora and her feelings of protectiveness over catra. their bond through trauma and abuse

august--lmaoooooo i know. ok i KNOW what the deal is. i KNOW that cardigan, august and betty are a narrative story and really there are 3 POVs--james, betty & august. but i will do with that what i please. i just see catra’s pov from this song just as much as i see it for cardigan. her losing adora/feeling like adora doesn’t want her back or will choose other ppl over her. 

this is me trying--can fit adora’s need to be everything for everyone/fear of failure--leading to burn out. also works for what i assume how catra’s redemption arc continued post s5. progress isn’t linear and this can show both of them struggling to recover from abuse

invisible string--if u strip out the imagery of taylor and her mans then sure

mad woman--i MEAN...is this not catra’s villain origin story? so often she was just poked/kicked/provoked into continuing down the dark path. not always by adora but regardless.

epiphany-- ‘with you i serve, with you i fall down’ reminding me of them both fighting/practicing/training together pre-s1 as well as them finally teaming up

betty--betty betty betty. the worst thing these two have ever done is what they did to each other. i see it more catra to adora, but it can go either way. gotta admire catra’s range for fitting into the role of betty, august + james... who else is doing it quite like her?

peace-- adora to catra. she can never not be she ra. is that enough for catra?

hoax--def more of a catra POV

evermore (2020?)

tbd......

[ellewords]

I love the idea of suga roping daichi into reading hanahaki fics lmaoooooo. He would never forgive him. He gives suga so much grief over it and scolds him any time suga sends him a new one, but he still stays up late at night reading through them. And the next day, everyone can feel the tension between suga and daichi, but they can never really interpret what the hell they’re screaming about during practice. All they know is that daichi is going extra hard on suga, and any time suga complains about how rigorous daichi is being despite never FORCING him to read them so late at night, daichi will look him square in the face with little to no emotion and say some shit like “well, I’m sure you’d prefer this over choking on roses, huh? (Blah blah blah) didn’t have a choice in the matter, so suck it up and dig!”

I love those idiots so much

—  from elle ! right?? and omg i love this little addition haha!! i love all these dorks tysm for this

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daichi and suga coming to practice the next day with bags under their eyes, ever so slightly puffy. the entire team is just looking at them like ??? and asking them if they’re alright or are even in the right headspace to play. and they just nod, not even replying with actual words because their minds are still thinking about what happened in the fic (｀・∀・´)

at this point everyone’s kind of concerned because why are they staring into space like that?? but the second coach ukai blows his whistle they snap out of it and are at each other’s throats. oh gosh i agree with you on daichi being merciless with suga during practice and suga’s just not having any of it too, “did i force you to read hmmm?”

“didn’t ask you to send them either, did i?”

coach ukai and takeda just doesn’t even bother asking about it because the entire team’s also practicing harder than normal because they’re kind of afraid of getting on either of their bad sides or making their moods worse ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡

please and daichi giving out extra drills to suga out of pure spite i—- (he’s only kidding tho and coach ukai probably wouldn’t allow that anyways)

“alright one lap of diving drills for everyone. except suga, he gets two.”

“if i send you a really fluffy and soft one tonight, can you spare me the extra lap?”

“...fine. but it better be real cute.”

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a question: what kinds of fanfic would the hq boys read/write?  |  written on the margins masterlist

taglist : @haikyuutothetop @crystal-lilac @tobioespresso @sushijimawakatoshi @itsmeaudrieee @pantherhappy @jesssobs​ @mysticstrawberryballoon

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[rahleeyah]

So I've been procrastinating my assignment by re-reading Stubborn Love & your other POV fics & since I've spent the last couple of months jumping from SVU to JAG & back again, after reading them today my brain just went outside POV for Harm & Mac because I think they'd give Liv & El a run for their money tbh.

Like maybe set in S10 when Cresswell comes in & he's already spoken to Chegwidden about the job & gotten the 'do not separate Rabb & MacKenzie no matter what' spiel (because as bad as they are together they Do Not play nice with others) & Cresswell is fine to leave things as the status quo while he settles in. But he knows Rabb by reputation only & Mac from her past in Okinawa & John Farrow so he's curious about them & the scuttlebutt is interesting to say the least even tho Chegwidden swears nothing has happened (Cresswell thinks about the strings Chegwidden pulled for Roberts & Sims & doesn't quite trust his word on that front).

Then he arrives at JAG & Harm & Mac are better then they've been but nowhere near where they were & they throw him because they're not exactly friendly but they have this intimacy between them (communicating without words, finishing each other's sentences & always standing right on top of each other) that he just can't make sense of & the way they work together in court just leaves him like 🤯🤯🤯 Plus they are always together - Cresswell learns quickly that if you are looking for one the first place you look is the other's office.

But someone (maybe Sturgis) says something the first time they are opposing council & Cresswell decides to sit in & just sits there frozen as everything implodes (& he vaguely remembers Chegwidden mentioning something about Rabb firing an automatic weapon in that very courtroom after sandbagging MacKenzie the first time they opposed each other & he feels like he shouldn't be so surprised); following along silently afterwards as they argue (bicker??) thru the bullpen as Roberts plays mediator & the rest of the bullpen ignores them (not true - the new guys are staring frozen watching) until they get to their offices & Mac says something about dinner tonight as Chloe is looking forward to seeing him & Harm says he & Mattie'll be there at 7 & just like that they're okay again & Cresswell feels a headache coming on.

But the new recruits have a lot of questions (& so does he) so he listens the next time they all find themselves at the Roberts' for a get together (& the two of them seem to have disappeared somewhere) while Bud, Harriet, Coates & Sturgis regale everyone with stories of Harm & Mac's past exploits - she found him in the middle of the Atlantic ocean when his plane went down, he found her in Paraguay, she followed him to Russia TWICE, he kept her alive when she got shot that time in the mountains, how they both disobeyed direct orders to stay with Bud after his leg got blown off etc - & Cresswell is just screaming at this point because what the absolute f*ck is going on between these two??? because by now he's seen enough to agree that nothing has happened but at the same time something must have happened for them to be like this & it is driving him insane (at this point his wife prefers them to her usual soaps) & he just. wants. answers!

While I've seen a few eps from S9 & S10 (like the Paraguay arc) I'm only on S5 so I haven't really seen how Cresswell reacts to them (if he does at all) but I couldn't get this out of my head. I might have more thoughts once I finally see these seasons in full but also: Am I ever going to actually write this? Unlikely (so if anyone wants to run with it they can). It was just something entertaining I've been thinking about that I thought I'd share.

ANON THIS IS GIVING ME LIFE LMAOOOOOO

I loved Cresswell's arc; I loved bringing in someone who remembered Mac from her John Farrow days and how that threatens the life that she's built; she has worked so hard to grow and overcome her past and then in walks someone who remembers the old her, and doesn't trust her the way Chegwidden does, and that's scary for her. But to see it all from his perspective? For him to see how this woman has grown? But also to know she's fully willing to throw the regulations out the window and hear all these stories about her and Harm.... delicious. I just. Wow I love every word you wrote here