#it was the app that made me feel comfortable to start posting online and actually meet people in fandoms instead of just lurking

[ashestxr]

i gotta go through my almost 500 cherik edits i have favorited on tiktok and figure out which ones to save before the ban,,

it feels like im choosing between my babies 😢💔

[mixtape-racha]

should i stay or should i go | hwang hyunjin

who knew the quiet girl in the back of the algebra classroom, and the campus's golden boy would have so much in common? // minors dni, 18+

words: 4.3k // warnings: camboy!hyunjin x camgirl!reader, dom!hyunjin, oral (f. recieving), tiny hint to orgasm control, protected piv, "sir" and "princess", recorded sex, illusions to aftercare, reader is kind of a brat and teases hyunjin at first, hinted multiple rounds, slight degradation but mostly praise

“g’night, guys. dream of me!” hyunjin grinned, biting his lip as he leaned forward to turn off his livestream camera.

he felt sticky, and messy, but god did it feel good. he worked quickly to find his wipes and clean the cum off of his torso before it dried, before pulling out his favorite lounge pants and a baggy shirt.

sure, cam work was often frowned upon, but why shouldn’t he get paid for allowing others to view his pleasure? why shouldn’t he indulge himself in the compliments of strangers on twitter who oh-so loyally reminded him how beautiful he was under every lewd or nude he posted?

in fact, he didn’t understand why people wouldn’t want that for themselves.

of course, it also helped that he was surrounded by many followers and mutuals who were even more attractive than him, making many online friends who enjoyed their sexuality just as much as he did.

speaking of which, he needed to reply to a dm from his favorite mutual. she was gorgeous in every sense of the word - and her personality even more so. they’d began talked after she praised him under one of his only cumshot videos on the app, and instantly bonded from there. it was her who had introduced him to the camming site she used, hyunjin having instantly made an account - at first, to watch his new friend’s streams, but eventually starting his own.

his most recent conversations with his friend - who used the online alias of “jae” - was about their many, many requests from their followers for a collab. either for a twitter post, or a stream, it seemed their fans weren’t too fussed. they entertained the idea, and were currently in the process of figuring out if it was actually a good idea for them.

he was more than keen - jae’s body was gorgeous, and he’d rubbed one out to her twitter posts more than once. and - although he’d never admit it - he was a frequent viewer of her streams. that was where jae and himself differed though. she was too caught up in keeping her viewers occupied, that she hadn’t had a chance to watch one of his streams, and he never showed his face in twitter posts. 

so, in short, she didn’t know what he looked like. and neither did he truly know what she looked like, because she’s never done a face reveal on twitter or on a stream. he was only fortunate enough to have endless content of her gorgeous tits and pretty pussy to indulge in when he needed it.

a week later, and it was almost time. hyunjin and jae had agreed to meet at a bar near his campus, to see how their dynamic went. the agreement was that if either party felt uncomfortable, they would go no further and call the idea off. if they both felt comfortable, well…. jae would take hyunjin back to her apartment. they’d see how things went there, take a few photos for twitter and maybe if they both wanted.

then - all things successful - the following weekend, they’d do a joint stream, streaming live on both their accounts simultaneously for maximum viewers. that was his idea, a whim decision that he was surprised jae agreed too.

hyunjin dressed in his nicest semi-casual outfit before grabbing all the essentials in his bag - wallet, keys, charger, airpods, phone - before grabbing a bottle of lube and some condoms. just to be on the safe side, he told himself. he didn’t know why he was so nervous, this was literally part of his job. and he’d been talking to jae for months now. he had no reason to be scared.

that was until he got to the bar and had every reason to be scared. sitting in a booth in the corner, exactly where jae had told him she was sitting, was you. y/n l/n, the pretty girl in the back of his algebra class. there was no way, right? he cautiously approached the table, hands shaking slightly. oh god, was it really someone he knew on the other end of the phone that entire time?

“jae?” he asked, wincing at the way his voice broke, and his heart thumping when your head whipped up. you looked like a deer caught in headlights as you realized who was stood in front of you, and instantly you both worried that this was a bad idea.

“oh my god… hyunjin?” but what surprised him most was the way you broke into a grin. “thank god, i was so worried it was actually going to be a creepy old man catfishing me… come! come sit!”

were you always so bubbly? hyunjin had always known who you were, but this was so different to the quiet girl in the back of the algebra class, one airpod in at all times, glasses donning her face and never talking. he was almost whiplashed - he’d really misjudged you.

“so… i mean, know that we’ve known each other previously, do you still want to do this? if not, no harm done, and i promise i won’t tell anyone if you don’t tell anyone about me.” you asked softly, picking up on hyunjin’s hesitance - not that it was hard, he wore all his emotions on his sleeve.

“no! no, i still want to do this.. i guess i’m just.. surprised? i never expected jae to be someone i knew.”

you grinned at that, reaching out to grab his hand across the table comfortingly.

“i get it. i didn’t expect you to be someone i knew, either. but honestly, this works really well for me. you’re hot, and i feel more comfortable knowing you’re not a complete stranger.”

he flushed at your words, but hoped you couldn’t tell under the dim lights of the bar.

“do you wanna get a couple of drinks before we head back to mine? maybe some shots, just to ease the nerves? my teat.” you smiled, pulling out your purse as hyunjin shook his head rapidly.

“no, no i can pay for my drinks!”

“hyunjin,” you laughed. “its fine. got a big tip last night, nearly $600 dollars from a private stream. my treat.” you insisted, taking his drink order before wandering over to the bar.

he couldn't help the way he watched your ass as you walked, the tight skirt doing nothing to help his already raging boner. if he’d known you were so confident, he would’ve made a move on you sooner. in all honesty, hyunjin had always had an eye for you - you were so, so pretty. the whole nerdy thing you had going on really turned him on too - you seemed so innocent, and it played into his whole corruption fantasy. but knowing now that it wasn’t true - that you were secretly a freak? it was a whole new level of turned-on. if he could, he would’ve ravished you in the toilet cubicles of the bar, but he was more classy than that. maybe next time.

before he could realize the implications of his thoughts, you came back over, passing him his drink before sipping on yours as you took a seat.

“so i was thinking we could cover the basics here? safe words, hard limits, that sort of thing? it seemed too impersonal to do over messages, you know?”

god, he didn’t think he could get more attracted to you. he barely could keep track of your conversation, only spaced-in enough to cover the most important topics. his cock throbbed in his jeans when you leaned over the table towards him, tits squeezing together perfectly under your tiny shirt. the skirt you wore hugged your hips in a way that had hyunjin trying not to drool, and your thighs looked so, so biteable in contrast to the material adorning them.

he was so out of it, he couldn’t even trace the moment that you’d left the bar to go back to your apartment, not until you pushed him against the back of the door and asked him to kiss you with big doe eyes.

and how could he refuse? when you looked up at him like he was the only god you could ever submit to? when you begged so nicely? when your hands tightened on his shirt in anticipation?

he gripped your jaw, pulling your face up to meet his as he kissed you in a flurry of clashing teeth and spit. he wanted to be gentle, to be careful with you, but he couldn’t help himself. he needed you so bad, and it was like his body was acting on its own accord.

like when he flipped your positions, so you were the one pressed against the door. a moan left your lips and went tumbling into his at the way our back hit the door, and he felt himself throb at how pretty you sounded. he was quick to hoist one of your legs over his hip, pressing his body against your as much as he could.

as his tongue entered your mouth, battling yours for dominance which you inevitably surrendered to him, he grabbed a fistful of your ass, the feel of your skin making him groan against you.

he was quick to pull away from your mouth with a pop, smirking as you whined before attaching his plump lips to your neck, nipping and sucking at the skin. you keened, back arching against the door and pushing your tits against him perfectly. he tapped your ass harshly, before lifting at your other leg, hinting for you to jump as he wrapped your legs around his waist, effectively trapping you against the door.

the display of strength had you clenching around nothing, hands tugging at his hair as you panted and whined into the darkness of your apartment.

“bedroom, hyun. take me to my bedroom.” you whimpered as he bit down on your jugular, rocking your hips against him. “last door on the right.”

he grunted in response, carrying you across the expanse of your apartment, kicking open your bedroom door when he reached it. he was fast to kick it shut behind him, dropping you onto the bed once close enough and looking down at you with eyes so blown-out with lust he looked feral.

you felt small under his gaze, embarrassment flushing across you in a way it hadn’t in a long time. cam work and your nsfw twitter had built a whole new confidence in you - you felt like femme fatale, someone who could have boys falling to their knees to worship the ground she walked on, only to have hyunjin blow it all away within moments. you couldn’t remember the last time you’d wanted someone this bad, and you were damned sure you were going to make him give you what you wanted.

your hand slipped down to your skirt, lifting the material as you slipped your panties to the side, looking up at him with doe eyes as your finger circled your clit. you were so wet it was unreal, and he could’ve sworn you were about to start dripping all over the bed below you.

“gonna fuck me now, hyunie? gonna make me feel good like you promised so many times on twitter? need you so bad, need you to fill me up.” your words drawled out slightly slurred, the visual of his cock jumping beneath his jeans making you involuntarily clench around nothing. but oh, it made something in your mind click, smirking as you enticed him even more with your teasing.

“why don’t we stream it, yeah? then everyone can see what a fucking slut you are for me?”

he growled in response, lunging forward to push your thighs apart as far as they could, his eyes fixed on your cunt, slick dripping out of your greedy hole.

“oh, i’m a slut, hmm? well then, we don’t we show your viewers how quickly you’re going to cream on my cock, yeah? make them watch as you beg me to cum inside of you, have my cum dripping out of you as a reminder of how bad you want me?”

you were so caught off guard at the change of demeanor that he showed, you didn’t even realize that he’d floated over to your computer, which had your streaming site booted up in the background in case of an impromptu stream - just like now, you supposed.

turning back to you, his face had relaxed and his eyes showed concern.

“are you sure about this, what about if they accidentally see your face?” your heart warmed at his worry, shaking your head in response.

“i don’t care. collab stream with you and face reveal? two birds with one stone, just need you to hurry up and fuck me.”

at your words, his face hardened again, and he smirked, typing in the title for the stream and turning it on. instantly, pings from your computer informed you that people were joining, and it had you more turned on - if that were even possible.

‘face reveal + a special guest: surprise lovelies xoxo ~ jaecums // callmehhj’

“gonna let me ravish you now, then? let sir turn you into a brainless cumdump on his cock?”

your eyes fluttered, threatening to roll to the back of your head as hyunjin approached you once more, biting your lip as you nodded, whining out a yes.

“come on, princess. you gotta use your words for me, yeah? how else will i know what my slutty girl wants?” he asked, faux sympathy dripping from his voice as he knelt on the end of the bed, long fingers circling your hole.

“please, sir, please, need you, need you to fuck me so bad, sir, please-!”

your words were cut off as he removed himself from the bed, kneeling on the floor and pulling you towards him by your thighs. your legs hung over his shoulders, ass perched on the edge of the bed as he kissed softly up your thighs.

“gotta let me hear those pretty moans as i eat you out first, though. gonna make you cum on my face before my cock even goes near you.”

you keened as he pushed his face against your core, nose swiping against your clit as he flattened his tongue against you.  “oh, fuck–!”

he hummed in appreciation, the vibrations making your hips buck against him as he messily made out with your clit, spit and arousal dripping down onto his chin. your hands laced their way through hyunjin’s long hair, grip tightening every time he decided to tease you by dipping his tongue into your hole.

his fingers were digging into your skin deliciously, and you were sure you’d have marks left behind to remind you that this wasn’t just a fever dream. your moans were bouncing off the walls, and even then you could hear the messy slurping of hyunjin gathering all of your arousal that he could into his mouth.

he was like a man starved between your legs, and it had your stomach tightening unbelievably fast. there was no way– you’d never come this fast, especially from oral. was hyunjin superhuman? you couldn’t believe that you were already feeling a coil tightening and a warm tingling spreading up through your body already.

your hands threaded further through his hair, hips bucking wildly as you tugged his face deeper into your core. “oh, shit– oh fuck, sir, m’gonna cum–!” you cried, toes curling as you tried to fend off your building release. “please! pleasepleaseplease-!” your words came out slurred, and hyunjin smirked to himself between your legs as he pulled away from your swollen clit with a pop.

he quickly replaced his lips with his fingers, rubbing delicate figure-eights on your bud while he looked up at you with faux doe eyes. “gonna cum, yeah? you gonna cum for me, baby?”

but it wasn’t enough for you as tears sprung behind your eyes, digging the heels of your feet into his shoulders. “please, sir-! please, let me cum for you, please!”

hyunjin’s eyes widened slightly before his face hardened once more and his fingers sped up on your clit. he began pressing kisses to your thighs, biting and sucking at the plush skin.

“go on, princess. cum for me. cum all over sir’s face, yeah?”

and as soon as the words left his mouth, he pushed his nose against your bud, tongue lapping at your hole and the coil in your stomach snapped. you keened, back arching as your juices flooded hyunjin’s mouth, him moaning against your core in appreciation.

he stayed nestled between your thighs until your legs started twitching in overstimulation and you began pushing his head away. but god, he’d never get over the way you tasted. it was official - he’d never be able to give any other girl oral because it would never be as perfect as the way your thighs wrapped around his head. he was a goner.

hauling himself onto his feet, hyunjin wrapped an arm around your back to pull you to meet him halfway in a sloppy kiss, the taste of your slick falling from his mouth to yours.  you moaned against his lips, hands falling to grip onto him any way you could before realizing he was still fully dressed. you sharply pulled away from the kiss, brows furrowed and lower lips falling out in a pout.

“take it off,” you grumbled, pulling at the material of his shirt, frown only deepening when he chuckled at you. but you could forgive him for that, you could forgive him for anything - especially when he looked that fucking good. planes of muscled, honey skin exposed to you, and you wanted nothing more than to pin him down and cover him in bites and bruises. however, you didn’t think he’d let you get away with that, so you let your hands fall to his belt, quickly undoing it in hopes he’d get the hint.

as he began removing the offending items, you slipped your skirt and top off, leaving you in just a lacy bra, to which hyunjin grinned. “so desperate for me, huh? wasn’t enough that i made you cum once, was it? my greedy girl.”

“need you inside me, please,” you whimpered, reaching out to pull him towards you. “need you to fuck me, sir, come on.”

he leaned down to plant a kiss on your head, before stepping away to retrieve a condom from his wallet. it was in that moment of silence that you could truly appreciate how many pings were coming from your computer, an indication of how much people were enjoying the stream. you were kind of excited to see how many tips you got, and were curious to see if hyunjin would easily accept half of whatever you made - he seemed like the type of guy to refuse, but you could be just as stubborn.

when he came back, he had put the condom on his length, and you nearly drooled seeing it up close. his dick was…. well, gorgeous. there was no other way to put it, and you knew damn well that you were going to be screaming with pleasure faster than you ever had.

“gonna fuck you so full of me, yeah? let everyone see what a dirty bitch you really are.”

he clambered on top of you, kneeling with one hand next to your hip and the other on his length to guide it against your hole. he’d barely put the tip in before you moaned, and he couldn’t help but chuckle at how fucked out you were.

“calm down, love. let me at least get inside you before you go all brainless.”

but you couldn’t help the way you writhed and keened as he pushed ever-so-slowly further into you, not stopping until he was sheathed inside you, his public bone resting against your plush thighs.

he had his lower lip tucked between his teeth to stop himself from drowning out your pretty whimpers, but also to ground himself - you felt so warm and tight, it took everything in him not to nut straight away. he couldn’t. you deserved to squirt all over him before he even considered finishing.

you reached for his arm, fingers coming to grip the muscle as he began to shallowly thrust, the feeling of his cock dragging against your walls making your head fall back as you let out a contented sigh. you didn’t think you’d ever felt so full in your life, and it was heavenly. every vein on his cock, every twitch, the way his tip stretched you out so perfectly for the rest of him. oh yeah, you could die happy now.

your legs wrapped around his waist, locking him against you as he rocked his hips, not wanting to overwhelm you and pound into you how he wanted. his eyes bored into your skin, making you blush at the way he held such affection for you in his pretty eyes. it was freeing, and overwhelming, and heartwarming all at once.

once you’d been reasonably adjusted to his size, he pulled his hips back as far as your grip would allow him, leaving just the tip inside, before thrusting forward against such force it sent your body back up the bed at least an inch. you cried out, clenching on him as drool began pooling at your lips from your want— no, your need for him to ruin you.

“please, sir,” you slurred, fingers gripping at his skin as tight as the heat in your body would let you. “fuck me properly, please. wanna make a mess, wanna make you cum.”

he then growled at your words, hips speeding up almost instantly. your body rocked in its spot on the bed, tits bouncing with the pure force he was driving into you at.

the room was filled with the sounds of skin slapping, and if you strained your ears you could hear the squelching noise your pussy made as your arousal dripped out, coating the sheets beneath you.

you knew you’d get a noise complaint from your neighbor if you kept squealing the way you were, but you couldn’t help it. especially not when hyunjin bit down on your neck, tongue rubbing over the sensitive skin, making you let out an almost animalistic howl.

it felt like he was hitting the deepest parts of you, and you couldn’t get enough of it. the way his hair swayed, the way sweat was dripping down his forehead, the way he looked at you like he wanted nothing more than to tie you down and use you as his own personal sex toy. even the way he moaned when you clenched around him, god you were obsessed.

you felt a fire building in your abdomen as he leant back on his knees, eyes trained on watching his cock glide in and out of you, and you held your legs up to your chest to give him a better view. at that, he threw his head back and let out a heavenly groan, causing you to clench around him once again.

you snaked a hand down to your clit, rubbing it furiously as the leg it was holding fell into place naturally on hyunjin’s shoulder. you were so aching close, so close you could feel your walls begging for it, but you just needed a final push.

hooking your foot around his neck, you pushed hyunjin towards you, instantly grabbing his lips with your own. it was messy, and disgusting, but you loved it. all drool, and teeth clashing, tongues wrapped around each other like that's how they’d always been.

the new angle allowed hyunjin to reach ever deeper - hitting the deepest parts of you that you didn’t even know where possible. he reached a hand up to tweak at your nipple, and you whined into his mouth as it sent you hurling into an orgasm, back arching to push your chests together.

the way you clamped down on him sent him head-first into his own release, his hips stuttering as you felt each throb of his cock as he filled the condom. you were both breathing heavily, almost panting as he pulled away from this kiss, thrusting shallowly a few more times to ride you both through your release.

your chest was heaving, and you felt like you’d ascended. all floaty and gooey, head sinking into the pillow beneath it as your eyes fluttered closed in pure bliss. hyunjin peppered a few soft kisses across your cheeks as he carefully pulled out, rubbing your hips comfortingly when you winced.

“good?” he asked quietly, so quiet that your computer wouldn’t pick it up, and you nodded without opening your eyes.

“so good.”

you felt him crawl backwards and leave the bed, opening your bleary eyes to follow his figure around the room. you couldn’t bring yourself to move just yet, though. you thought all your bones had disappeared and you’d sink straight back into the bed if you tried.

once he’d come back to the bed from ending the stream and tossing the used condom in the bin, he scooped you into his arms and planted a soft kiss on your temple.

“you’re staying tonight, right?” you asked softly, nuzzling your head against him. “don’t think i can let you go after that.” exhaustion flooded your voice and he chuckled.

“course i am, silly. but we gotta get you showered, okay? then i can order in some food and we can watch a movie or something, yeah?”

you nodded softly.

“join me in the shower?”

“oh, i don’t think that’s a good idea, princess. you’re shattered.”

“please, jinnie,” you pleaded, pressing a soft kiss to his jaw. “need you to cum down my throat before anything else, and sharing a shower means saving water, after all.”

he laughed at your enthusiasm, and nodded, agreeing.

“okay. okay, whatever you want. but then - food and sleep, okay?” he grinned, scooping you up in his arms to carry you to the bathroom.

taglist: join taglists here @pretty-racha @chubbyanarkiss @taeriffic @mits-vi @chanssmiles @5kayzee @queen-klarissa @torixx80 @fawnpeaks @bangtanmix73 @savluvsmingi @boi-bi-ahaha @skz-streamer @demetrisscarf @4evrglow @manj1ro @linocvpid @alextheweeb7 @chans-american-slave @unsweetenedpeatea @carpioassists @bangtancultsposts @reiheis @happilydeepestwonderland @leemidnightmoon @saintminaa @@hyunjinswifeee @watariisbestboy@hwangrimi @cherry-edibles @ivyisnotokay @yevene @puckmaidens

[chris-prank]

I need the reaction of the baes (Vincent, Esteban and Atlas) to reader thirsting loudly for strangers online. Like full on down bad simping.

I love these kinds of ask about multiple of my ocs. This way they are all compiled in one post 😆 so thank you mellsfern! 

Now jealousy timeeeee

CW: Possessive behavior, manipulative behavior and mention/use of a syringe (in Vincent’s part) 

･*:.｡..｡.:*･*:.｡..｡.:*･

Vincent has been monitoring your online activities for a while now. It was his favorite thing to do after a long day of working on new inventions for Fatalité, being able to sit comfortably in front of his computer and check what you were up to.  But lately… you’ve been checking one person’s account a bit too much on Slowgram. You liked their post the second they were up, why couldn’t you be dedicated like that with him instead!? What made his blood boil the most, was the private conversation you were having with your friend about this influencer. Paragraph after Paragraph were filled with praises, words of adoration and lewd comments on what you wanted to do to them. At first he thought it was just a passing infatuation, but he couldn't keep watching you lust over someone else, it made him see red. Dr. Seraph didn’t even have to hack into that influencer's computer to find their address, this idiot had it plastered all over their socials. At this point, they were just asking for it! At the dead of night, he easily entered their house. Hovering over the sleeping form, his face showed a scarily cold expression.  

“I was lacking a test subject for my latest invention.” With precision, he plunged a syringe in the person's neck, “I wonder if they'll still think you're attractive after I’m done with you.” 

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Esteban snatched the phone from your grasp. One minute you were alone in the living room, liking every post of a guy online and the next you were empty handed. Unbeknownst to you, he was actually stalking your account before all this and happened to see your liked posts. 

“What’s your deal?!” You jumped out of the couch, trying to take your property back. 

“What’s my deal? What about yours Mmm?!” He pouted, raising the phone out of your reach, “You have a guy with the literal body of a Greek god at your disposition and you're gawking at this?” 

He shook one picture in your face before retrieving it quickly. “Can you even tell that he is photoshopped? I don't need that cheap trick to look appealing.”

He couldn’t let you thirst over this loser and act like nothing was wrong. You shouldn’t need to feel the urge to simp over anyone else! All you need is him, him! That’s why he didn’t have a choice, Esteban had to have your device altered so you could never see that person's face again on any app. Without saying a word he headed towards the front door. 

“Hey! Give me my phone back!” 

“Don’t worry, I’m buying you a better one with some needed modifications.”

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Atlas stared at the picture that you were showing to him on your phone. He already knew your feelings towards this influencer. Having connected to your social media without your consent, he had seen that you were commenting on this person's post a bit too often for his liking. Still, he acted oblivious when you started ranting about them. 

“Aren’t they just so perfect!? Like they are so fine I caaaaan't!” You groaned and contracted your other hand as if you were a predator closing in on its prey. 

He really couldn’t understand what you liked about them that he didn’t have. He could at least console himself with the fact that this person unobtainable, that they would never be a part of your life, unlike him. But still, he hated knowing that you had eyes for someone else to this extent. 

Atlas leaned down, looking at you through his long and pale lashes. “I can be anything you want me to be, you know. I can change my hair color to match theirs or even my personality if that’s what you want.” Then, the android slowly lowered your phone down by gently taking hold of your wrist, “So no need to think about them any longer.” 

･*:.｡..｡.:*･*:.｡..｡.:*･

I love showing Vincent’s murderous and sadistic side, especially when it’s related to his darling. Also possessive Atlas is just a cutie pattotie.

[aritsukemo]

My New Year Goals and Wishes + My Thanks

2025 is finally here and y'know what's crazy? There's a 70% chance I have either bronchitis or pneumonia. I'm actually tweaking out sooo badly rn-

That aside, 2024 had many ups and downs for me, but one of the best things that came out of it was this platform! Making Tumblr my main writing platform was def one of the best decisions I made this year, and to that, I wished to express my thanks to everyone who's made this decision such a great one!

⇻ My Followers

You all are such amazing people! I didn't do it much last year, but interacting with you all via comments, repost, etc., taking and writing your requests, and just seeing you like my works are just amazing motivators for me! It truly makes me giddy that 200 of you found my little corner of the internet and liked the place so much you decided to stay! I love you all and I hope good things like ya'll will continue to happen to me in this year to come! :D

⇻ My Mutuals

Ya'll- Omgosh where do I begin?

You guys made me so much more confident in myself! Joining Tumblr, at first, made me feel a bit overwhelmed. I had no friends on here aside from ivory, I knew nothing about Tumblr besides it being a blogging platform where people happen to write fanfics, and overall I just felt isolated and alone. Furhtermore, irl I had, and still have no one to really talk about fanfics with. I can't ramble on about my book ideas or my wips or talk about writing tips without someone growing bored of me and, ngl, I thought the same would apply here.

To be honest, as wonderful as my Wattpad days were at a time, my relationship with my followers/community was pretty rigid. I was pretty standoffish, and while I did have mutuals, it was nothing compared to my moots on here! Like, being on here and talking with my other writing moots is such a comforting thing and it's just UGHHH YA'LL ARE THE BEST AND I COULD LITERALLY MAKE A WHOLE POST ON HOW AMAZING YA'LL ARE!!

( I especially want to thank @nursedflowers! You are by far one of my favorite people to interact with on this app! Happening across your blog and befriending you by chance was the luckiest thing that ever happened to me and I hope our friendship can continue to blossom into an even more beautiful flower <3 )

⇻ Anons

Even though I know nothing about ya'll, you guys are hands down one of the most positive things on this app to me! Like, literally my favorite part of logging into Tumblr is checking my notifs and seeing an inbox from one of ya'll whether it's a request or some simple expression of praise! I feel truly cherished and loved here and ya'll are one of the main reasons why! ( Which I don't believe I deserve seeming as I barely repay ya'll.. I swear I'll work towards getting better at completing requests- 😞🙏)

⇻ Those I follow

I plan to tag some of ya'll in this just so you can see this, but to those I follow, thank you for uplifting me! I know most of you have no idea who I am, but I just wanted you guys to know that reading your amazing works, seeing your writing events, and seeing glimpses of your daily lives have brought me immense comfort! These past couple years have been by far my darkest and, to me, ya'll are like little candles keeping me lit! You guys have inspire me so much and I walk in your footsteps to hopefully one day be able to write like you all and be as fun and confident as ya'll. TLDR; thank you for existing, you and everything you create are amazing and I hope to one day be a little more like you! <3

Now onto my goals-

Every year I do this. I always love setting goals ( reasonable and unrealistic ) as it helps keep me motivated. In the past, a lot of goals I set weren't really centered around me and more so meant to appease my following, but this year I want to be a bit different. I wish to be a bit more selfish online if that makes sense. That said, here's my top five goals I wish to accomplish in these 365 days!

⇻ Paradise ( Ch. 5 - 10 )

Starting off with my pride and joy.

As I've said one hundred times already, this fanfic means a lot to me and I wish for my dreams for it to become a reality! I want to see all the moments, all the characters, all the developments and story arcs that replay in my brain play out on internet paper and I want to see your comments and reposts and likes supporting it! That said, my main goal for the year is to, at the very least, get five more chapters out! While my overall goal is to completely wipe out the Unwavering Resolve Arc ( Basically season 1 of demon slayer ), I think knocking out two of the mini arcs is much more reasonable for me to achieve! :)

⇻ Our Home ( Getting past the starting point )

While this story was originally created as a scapegoat to put off the publication of Paradise, I do yearn to see it develop as it's own story! AssClass holds a special place in my heart and though the fandom is pretty dead on here, I wish to indulge myself regardless. I don't have a specific goal for it like Paradise, but if anything, I at least wish to post the next chapter or two before the end of the year! :D

⇻ Work on other long-term fanfics ( KNY, Danganronpa, and Genshin Impact )

Over the years, I've had many ideas, and while many didn't stick enough to full on write about like Paradise or Our Home, there are a few that did that I just never wrote about because either my following didn't like my ideas, I prioritized completing requests over it, or I simply convinced myself that my currently published stuff is far more important to work on.

I have three stories in mind that have stuck with me, and while they still remain nameless, their plots are more or less fleshed out to a degree.

The first one is an enemies to lovers Muichiro x reader fanfiction that follows an original au I thought of. I very briefly talked about the idea on Wattpad a few years back and it just like..stayed in my head so here's the general synopsis of it..

Imagine you're the prince/princess/royal child of your kingdom, assigned a task to kill your fiancé after his coronation and become their ruler. You're not really distraught by this. After all, your fiancé was of the rivaling kingdom, the one that killed your beloved father and turned your kingdom into the laughing stock of the Eleven Kingdoms of Kimetsu. In your opinion, he had it comin' to him...

The only problem with this is, the young fourteen year old, your fiancé and soon-to-be king, is hopelessly smitten for you. How annoying..

Just as it implies, the story revolves around a world that's divided. From the simplistic layout I thought of, 50% would be Muzan's while the other 50% would be Ubuyashiki's with Muzan's half being more tyrannical compared to Ubuyashiki ( to play back on the original contrasts they have in KNY ).

In this au, the Hashira ( and you ) are royalty who own a small percentage of Ubuyashiki's 50%. ( While the Twelve Moon live amongst Muzan's 50% ) Each Hashira + you have their own kingdoms with there own customs & rules, powers, etc.

You and Muichiro's kingdom butt heads, your kingdom loses, and you have no choice but to brood over the loss of your father and the land lost to war for the years to come.

Years later, you receive a proposal from the Mist Kingdom. Essentially, they wish to prevent a repeat of a war between your two kingdoms and decided to mend your relationship through the marriage of you and the current king. Your family accepts the proposal, though not for the same means of peace, but because of a conniving plan to take revenge.

The plan itself is a simple one; marry the current king, kill him afterwards, and ascend to the position of ruler. ( In Muichiro's kingdom, when a monarch dies, the partner of the monarch would become ruler if they're alive. ) You initially go in with no remorse, believing that the current ruler was in his 40s and had direct dealings in your father's death only to find out that, one, the king is dead, two, the one your marry is younger than you by two years and isn't officially the king yet, and three, he's genuinely a good person who had nothing to do with your father's death and loves you with all his being.

The second one has been talked about on my blog before so I won't yap too much about it but it's a Danganronpa x Demon Slayer au fic that takes the plot of all the Danganronpa games and the characters of Demon Slayer. Also, for clarification..

It be a Y/n/reader insert

Though it'd follow the concept of the Danganronpa games, it won't be a copy and paste of them. The murders, developments, trials, etc. would all be original and unique straight from my noggin.

It won't follow a specific game in particular and would simply take ideas from all four games ( yes, that includes udg )

The third one is a genshin fanfic that follows the male traveler and reader. Essentially it's just the plot of genshin but with you added to it. Ofc, like my Paradise story, I'd give the reader depth ( I refuse to write bobblehead mcs/characters in general ) and their own backstory. In fact, I've long had ideas in mind for them! Some of which being..

They have their own 'Paimon' ( Who used to be a worldwide threat back when in wartime day who was turned into a harmless animal by Celestia because they were too powerful to kill

They're from a nation with similar concepts to Khaenri'ah ( basically a human-ran nation that has a human serving as their god ) but unlike Khaenri'ah, their nation is hated and feared by all of Teyvat

Reader has a twin who currently rules over that nation and is basically insane

The twin also has an animal companion that shares a past with your companion ( they both ran a group of powerful people who were all united under their shared hatred for the gods and Celestia due to past trauma caused by them and wished to exterminate them )

Reader is visionless but adept at the art of many weapons, martial arts, etc. Their companion in their human lifetime was able to wield all the elements as a product of a cruel experiment.

And that's just some of the ideas I had in mind.

With all this said, it'd be impossible for me to write and post all of this in one measly year on top of my other goals hence why my goal is to at least write the full draft of one of them before the year is over or at least the layout of one of them.

⇻ Stepping out of my comfort zone ( Becoming more vocal )

Now this goal is probably the hardest for me to achieve just because of my own anxieties, but I wish to become more vocal in the fanfic community. There are so, SO many fanfics I've come across on this app that I simply liked and blankly reposted without expressing my thoughts on it ( or did neither ) and I wish to change that! My goal is to just express my love for whatever I read loudly and proudly without fear. I also plan to try and make more mutuals/friends! :D

⇻ Fill my blog with more diverse content ( My starting goal )

To be simple and straightforward, this is just a restatement of the reason my blog exist; to get better at writing and grow my anime horizon. I wish to soar to new heights, write about different genres and themes and animes, and overall become a multi-versed writing weapon! >.< Of course, everyone has to start somewhere, and so, my goal is to fill up my archive and write something about my main animes I haven't yet ( so TBHK, Black Butler, Link Click, Sally Face, and HSR ). I think that's a great starting point on my long journey to come, don't you think?

Thank you all who took the time to read this excessively long post! And please, let me know what your 2025 goals are! I'd happily read them! :)

Tagging: @nursedflowers, @iivorydreams, @saioratral, @meowzfordayz, @romaritimeharbor, @mrs-k0zume, @helloescapist + anyone who wishes to yap about their goals! <3

[queerstake]

As a queer drawn to the faith and trying to deal with the messiness of entering into everything, I've been trying hard to read more of the Book of Mormon because I only have a very vague understanding of it's Whole Deal, but executive dysfunction, ADHD, and honestly, a million other excuses are making it very difficult. Are there any good resources for walking through the fundamentals? Childish but I feel like I'm disappointing the Lord if I'm not more on top of this.

Hi anon! I totally get it and yes, I can think of a few ideas!

If you're looking for ways to understand the BoM (or even just general doctrine) from more of a bird's eye view:

I hope you don't find this silly, but when I was a kid, the church published an illustrated children's version of the BoM that's obviously way quicker to flip through. It might be harder for you to find those exact editions I read as a kid if you don't have ready access to a church library, BUT I found this!! It's (almost) the ENTIRE BoM illustrated and summarized and it's online!

Looks like they put out videos too that summarize the BoM beginning to end. Here's a link to the video series. I haven't seen these, so I can't vouch for them, but they might be helpful! Similarly, there's a BoM in 60 seconds video you might find helpful.

If you'd benefit from a schedule, the church is currently studying the BoM in sunday school! The past few years, we've been using a study guide called Come Follow Me with weekly assigned reading chapters. I've actually been working on posts about CFM as they relate to queer mormon theology, but I haven't had much posted yet since I've been having a rocky start to 2024. As things improve, I'll be able to hopefully even establish a schedule on this blog!

I'm not sure if missionary lessons is something you're interested in at this point, and it's definitely not something you ever need to do, but the missionary lessons themselves are a pretty good doctrine intro if you're looking for just Mormonism 101 in a digestible way. The missionaries teach out a book called Preach My Gospel, which is available right here. You'll be interested in the lessons, which are found in Chapter 3. If you just scroll down, you'll see some of the links are labeled Lesson instead of Chapter--just click on those bad boys. And if you have any doctrinal questions, I'm always MORE than happy to talk about the church! You'll probably get a faster answer DMing me personally at @logans-mormon-blog, but I'll always answer asks here as soon as time permits.

If you're looking for easier ways to finish the BoM from beginning to end:

The BoM on tape. The church has an audiobook version available on the Gospel Library app and other audio apps like Spotify.

The Reader's Edition. If you can get your hand on a reader's edition, a lot of people find this is an easier way to plow through the BoM. What's special about this one is that it's formatted not like scripture but like prose, and it really does change the reading experience!

I don't know if this helps any, but I struggle with some of the same issues as you and I'm always bitterly disappointed when I'm not able to move mountains. If I had my way, I'd be the most well-read scriptorian of all time and this blog would be updated constantly. But life often doesn't shake out that way. I spend way more time than I want to with my brain entirely burned out of my head. So you're not alone, if that's any comfort. I think God gets it--he made our brains, after all, and knows how hard it is to wrestle with. It's easier said than done, but don't beat yourself up. God loves the both of us and he's the most perfectly patient person who's ever lived. He's not frustrated or disappointed with our efforts. Religion exists, in my opinion, to help improve and enrich our lives, not make them more challenging OR even to make them perfect if we only could just run fast enough. I too wish I could be more diligent and on it, but shit happens, right? And we're not on earth to be perfect, we're here to be happy and to learn. When Joseph Smith was translating the BoM, God told him "Do not run faster or labor more than you have strength and means provided to enable you to translate; but be diligent unto the end." D&C 10:4. We're doing our damndest, and that's all God even wants from us.

If anyone else has more resource ideas, please let us know!

-Logan

[niniiko]

My solar return chart of 2023 and how it went

Moon in gemini 1st house: 2023 was a year were I was very emotional, I had a lot of emotional up and downs, a total rollercoaster, since it was in gemini, I really reflected a lot on my emotions a lot and maybe even detached myself from them, but most of the time I was just very accepting of them and I let them flow. Since gemini is a mutable sign, I tried new makeup styles, new clothes styles, tried new hairstyles and got a failed haircut lmao.

Mars in cancer 2nd house: my self esteem was flunctuating a lot throughout the whole year, I gotta say that at the beginning of the year it was pretty stable, in the middle of the year was pretty bad and I regained back my confidence in October, I also started trying to find jobs but none called me back🥹Finances were also not stable at all.

Lilith in leo 3rd house: i was very active on social media this year which maybe without me knowing attracted some level of jealousy? I got into some arguments with friends online but we resolved it by talking it out. I also wanted attention on social media and followers and likes were kind of important for me, just because of comparison tbh, but we are good now, numbers mean nothing.

Vertex & SN in scorpio 6th house: My daily routine changed a lot in 2023, I began to add things into my daily routine that could help me have a more stable start of the morning, they will definetly will be kept doing in 2024, in terms of jobs, I didn't work throughout the year but I did try to find some.

Pluto in capricorn 8th house: I started to feel comfortable with my emotions and I also started to write a lot more, journaling more, I learned a lot about psychology, followed people who added value into my healing journey and people who talked about the stuff i was learning about.

Neptune & saturn in pisces 10th house: I feel like these placements were the ones at fault for me not getting any job in 2023 despite me trying to work 🥹😭Saturn when I catch you Saturn...Saturn when I catch you Saturn....I also wanted to work at jobs which I could've regretted working at if I actually got them thanks to neptune...lol. The thing I wanted was maybe not good for me and neptune just blurred a lot of my decisions when it came to work terms.

Sun, chiron, jupiter & mercury in Aries 11th house: like I said before, a very active year for me in social media, I posted a lot on my ig but at the same time a year were I compared myself to people online. I also spent more time with my friends and went out more, tried new things that I'd never did in my life, learned new things, my dreams and optimism this year were big. 2023 might have been the year where I went out the most with my friends. I also got to try new foods all very yum! I started to take morning walks with my friend every Monday and Friday at almost the end of the year and I gave her a lot of advice on how to stop procrastinating and actually committing to the stuff you put your mind into. I also have to say that I kind of stopped talking with some friends which I used to talk to and call with almost every day which made me think of cutting them off, I didn't let my impulses take over because I know I would've regretted it, I also cut contact with an ex friend of mine of 2021 due to disagreements of the genocide going in Palestine, funny because the original ruler of the 11th house is aquarius and aquarius is all about humanitarian causes so it all makes sense now.

Uranus, venus & NN in taurus 12th house: a very stable year mentally for me but due to uranus also being there it kinda shook it so thats why there were some ups and downs but I always got better. My dreams were also very weird and very vivid, almost prophetic too, I had a lot of prophetic dreams in 2023, I remember a dream I had back in February were I saw some snow on the mountains and 3 or 4 days later it snowed after like 5 years without snow!!! I also began to write them down too, wether in the notes app or on paper, it really helped a lot.

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

the need for control admidst chaos, the comfort of organizational aspirations, and the longing for colorful office supplies: a journey

i'm going to be moving pretty soon (likely in 2-4 weeks), into a totally new and different environment. and while there are things i look forward to about what comes next, i also know it will be a big and difficult adjustment and i've already had several spirals over it given my autisticness and anxiety (not to mention an unhelpful bonus layer of bipolar and adhd symptoms while i didn't have my meds).

so it's not at all surprising that after i went back on my meds, which always keeps me from sleeping well as i readjust, i found myself down a rabbit hole that went from i love the idea of planners/scheduling but can never stick with them because my brain just clashes with too much structure to oh hey but now that i know through experience what does and doesn't work for me i should see if what would be useful to me exists and then yay it took a while but i found a company that makes the exact kind of planner i would want if i were getting a planner.

then i realized that mochithings, whose website i was deep diving into that night, made not just planners but stickers and journals and sticky notes and habit trackers. and as somebody who grew up without consistent money for food, let alone the ability to buy things for fun very often, i've always loved to browse and decide on my dream shopping cart and then move on feeling almost as good as if i could actually splurge--because if you like pretty things and can't afford to be included in the consumer economy, you learn how to enjoy just looking.

so i did that for the first time in a reeeeeally long time, going through different categories of the things they make (notebooks! cat themed office stuff! goal calendars!) and piling everything i liked into their online shopping cart. then i went through and pared it down to what i would get if i 'only' had a budget of $100, because that's their minimum order requirement for free shipping. and it really was so fun, because i'm weird and also what's not to love about cute little stickers and gradient colors and pretending your most important decision is which kind of folder to get.

eventually, i pared the cart down even more, and more after that, until all that was left was the two things i actually went there for: a specific kind of planner and a basic habit tracking option, because i'll desperately need that once i live alone. but even once i removed the habit tracker, the planner--which seemed reasonably priced at $30--would cost more than $50 to buy because of shipping and taxes. and that felt silly when i could get a ton of stuff i also liked for not much more than that.

so i ended up re-adding a bunch of items to my imaginary order, though not quite as many as the first time around. and now the cart is just sitting there, in a firefox tab, because i can't spend money i shouldn't no matter how much i like all that stuff. but i also can't bear to move on from the dream of having it.

which is why i started this post by explaining that i'm moving soon. because yes, i enjoy cute stuff, and i have always (possibly to an unsettling degree) loved office supplies. but mostly the reason why i want to buy more things than i would normally indulge in, and implement a whole new colorful system of to-do lists and cute stickers (rather than my current strategy of frequently forgotten notepad docs on my laptop and a calendar app where i track actual appts)...is because the idea of it all just makes me feel better.

it makes sense, and i can picture how it would work, and the ways it would help, because i've learned through trial and error what does help (and sadly, what doesn't, which includes any digital systems that would be cheaper and easier). and when i'm about to be, as @actuallylukedanes recently pointed out, a 'single cat parent' to somewhere between 6 and 8 cats plus possible kittens, for an unknown amount of time starting very soon, the idea of actually having some structure once i'm in a new situation where only i can establish any structure, feels like a life raft.

especially since i've lived alone in the past, and i've always devolved quickly when i did, into a nonfunctioning bipolar mess with no tether to time or other people. i'm a lot older now, and i have family in a way i didn't back then, and boy does medication make a difference too. but that's my history, and i know how i am. i also know that the cats will be counting on me, and falling apart just because my brain does that automatically will not be an option.

so i can't blame me for gazing longingly at all the things i would use to try and do better this time, despite knowing full well that consumerism isn't a good solution to most things. i had to come ramble, though, because as moving day gets closer, my anxiety is going to continue to spike at random times--and i just keep going back to that open tab, like dreaming about a more organized and grounded me can make a bunch of pretty things suddenly more affordable.

[dervampireprince]

dervampireprince’s Fanwork Guide

Edit: in January 2025 I made the 'fanworks museum' part of my website. if you send me/post fanart it will be also hosted on my site unless you tell me not too. Any cosplay (or any photos that include a real person's face/body) will not be posted into there unless explicit permission is stated in the body/tags of the original post or message.

I can’t believe it’s gotten to a point where I need to make one of these? It’s insane that for the past year you guys have been getting invested in my original characters and been making fanart of them. I had an ask today asking whether it was okay to make headcannons about my characters, so I thought I should make me boundaries clear, and explain certain things about my characters so you know what they are like and what they would be comfortable with. (I have to also be grateful to the creator of Welcome Home for making one of these ‘fanwork guides’ otherwise I wouldn’t have known this was a thing I could make).

I’m going to break this down into general things I’m okay with and things I’m not okay with, as well as facts and information about individual characters and what they would be comfortable with, as most of my original characters are trans I want people to be respectful and not draw them in ways that would cause them dysphoria nor draw them with body parts they aren’t comfortable with. And remember that while my persona/vtuber model has his own backstory, I’m still a real person and do not treat my persona or myself like you would treat a fictional character.

I reserve the right to be uncomfortable with any fanworks, and to disagree with any headcannons that you have for my persona or my original characters. Don’t get personally offended if I don’t accept your headcannon for my characters as canon. And while I have listed that fanfic is okay, it’s still something I’m more sensitive about as it’s much easier than fanart to portray my characters in our-of-character ways if you’re going to write about them rather than draw them. So, please be respectful.

There may be things listed here that don’t line up with some of the info about these characters in their audios, that’s because things can change and with my older characters I didn’t have an actual guide for them or details about them when I first started voicing them. Whatever is listed here is what is the up-to-date versions of the, not whatever you heard in an old audio.

I have an FAQ tag but if you have more questions after reading this and my faq tag, feel free to send me an ask.

Overall just think before you send fan-works my way. If this was a fan-work of a movie or film would you send this fan-work to the creators or actors? If the answer is no, then probably don’t send it to me.

This post will be continuously edited and updated. Last updated: 2nd February 2025.

General Guides

When making any fan-content of me or my characters you must credit me as the creator of those characters/vtuber in that content. You can use the hashtag #dervampireprince and also tag me @dervampireprince (if the website/app allows that) in the post.

You must be 18+ to make and post fanart of me or my ocs online. You must be 18+ to cosplay my ocs. (You should already be 18+ of you’re following me or interacting with my content. Youtube is the only exception on this as I don’t post 18+ content there, and my sfw art account isn’t 18+).

Fan-Merch Policy

Fan-merch means anything that is made of myself or my works that wasn’t made by myself and is being sold/monetised in some way.

It is okay to sell fan-merch of my original characters that are listed on this post as long as they adhere to the rules in the rest of this post. You are not allowed to sell fan-merch of any of my original characters not listed on this page or of myself or my vtuber model.

Items that are allowed to be sold: stickers, pins (enamel, wooden, acrylic, etc), badges/buttons, prints/posters, keychains/charms.

Items that aren’t allowed to be sold: apparel and clothing (t-shirts, hoodies, etc), figures/figurines, plushies, bags.

You are not allowed to sell fanart on places like RedBubble, Society6 and any similar site where you upload the image and they make and sell the products for you.

No mass-produced or factory made items are allowed to be sold (exception being if you’re an artist who uses a company to print your stickers or make your pins but you personally then get the items and ship them out).

Kickstarters or any other fund-raising campaigns for fan-merch is not allowed.

Label your work as unofficial merch, do not claim to be made by or affiliated with myself.

You are not allowed to use any of my works (or works made by anyone other than yourself) to create products/listings to sell. I can and will take copyright action against anyone stealing my work and selling it, please don’t make me have to do that.

Selling fan-merch is only for other artists (for example on their Etsy/Shopify stores, at comic cons). Business (for example Hot Topic, Sharkrobot) are not allowed to sell fan-merch.

I reserve the right to change, update or even reverse decisions on this policy at any time. Please respect these rules and boundaries so I don’t have to reverse any of these decisions.

Okay

SFW and N-SFW art and fics of my original characters.

SFW art of my persona/vtuber model.

SFW art of my persona/vtuber being platonic with my original characters and existing fandom characters that you know I like.

Drawing my persona and original characters in other outfits that what I’ve drawn them in. (Within what they are comfortable with (see character guidelines)).

Shipping and making romantic/sexual content of my original characters with each other, whether the relationship is canon or not, including those who are already in relationships.

Shipping and making romantic/sexual content of my original characters with other fandom characters or you own original characters, self-inserts, or yourself.

Making sfw romantic drawings of my persona/vtuber and my partner @julia-cmoon ‘s persona/vtuber model.

AUs of my characters that change the setting/location, such as mediaeval, Victorian, future sci-fi, superhero etc.

Making your own original characters based in the same worlds as my original characters.

Moodboards, stimboards, and similar image edits of my original characters (as long as they do not use any images and artwork I’ve made).

Art, fics, etc based on my fandom characters audios but if you're directly illustrating my audio or quoting my audios please credit me. I am unsure how I feel about if someone wanted to pair their own drawings/animation with my audios so if you want to do that please ask me first.

Fics and headcannons are okay BUT I am sensitive to seeing my characters in ways I don’t imagine them so even though I’m a small content creator and not a big author. You wouldn’t send an ask to your favourite author or film director telling them about a fanfic you wrote or headcannon you have, so please don’t tell me about them, it’s sort of weird, and I think you’ll ultimately get upset when I don’t agree with your portrayal of my characters.

Cosplaying my original characters, but only if you're 18+. Don't do genderbent cosplays of them as they are almost all trans men and it would be disturbing to see them portrayed as women. By which I mean, 'female Ambrose' cosplay wouldn't be okay, but if you're a woman and you want to cosplay regular male Ambrose that is fine (you being a woman doesn't make it genderbending, people cosplay characters of different genders all the time, you can consider it like drag or 'crossplay'.)

Not Okay

N-SFW art of my persona/vtuber model.

SFW art of my persona/vtuber being platonic with yourself, your own original characters, self-inserts, personas, etc.

Drawing/writing/etc myself or my ocs interacting with minors.

Drawing myself or my ocs as minors, aging them down, age regressing, pet regressing.

Making fics or any other type of content about of my persona/vtuber model that isn’t SFW art.

Shipping and making romantic/sexual content of my persona/vtuber with anyone, fictional character or real-life. I have a partner and my persona/vtuber model is in a relationship with her persona/vtuber model.

Shipping and making romantic/sexual content of my original characters with characters who are minors, or characters who they are related to (eg. Satin and Silk as they are siblings).

Writing fanfic, even if it’s SFW, about my persona/vtuber, including anything shipping me with my partner.

Making headcannons about my persona/vtuber.

Making content about my persona/vtuber or my original characters that includes: underage sex, incest, rape and non-consensual sex or sexuality activity, beastiality, kinks that are hard limits for them / that they aren’t canonically into, changing their sexual dynamics (eg Ambrose is a dom and uncomfortable subbing) changing their gender or sexuality, graphic gore, sexualising age regression, changing their physical features (human or monster AUs are okay, but keep their physical features the same, this includes not changing their nose shape, body type, whether they have facial hair or not, hair length, make them more masc or fem than they already are, putting trans male characters on t who aren’t, giving them top/bottom surgery if they haven’t had it), wearing their ‘clothing dislikes’, age/pet regression even if it’s sfw, anything to do with alcohol or drugs or smoking.

Having headcannons about my ocs is fine, but please don’t send me asks about them, inform me directly of them, or ask if they’re canon because it's likely that no I won’t agree with them, I won’t think they’re canon, and I don’t want that to upset because you’re still free to have whatever headcannons you want in your mind. I have headcannons about characters that aren’t mine all the time, but I don’t message the character creator and tell them about them.

Gender-bending, genders-swapping or changing the gender of my persona/vtuber or any of my original characters. I don’t have anything against gender-bending in general, but myself and most of my original characters are trans and it would be extremely uncomfortable and dysphoric to see me/them depicted as other genders. This includes genderbending one of my trans man characters into a woman, or into a cis man. Do not change any of my trans character's gender identities or assigned-at-birth-gender.

Changing the personality, gender, sexuality, morals, religion, body type, body, genitalia, hair (as in colour and length, drawing their hair down if it's usually tied up is okay), age of my persona or my original characters. If a character doesn’t have a canonical body/genitals/chest/etc please do not draw what you assume they have.

Re-posting, re-uploading, or editing any of my work (even if you do it with credit). This includes my audios, artwork, photos and any other content I’ve made. Including making video edits that include my artwork, voice, or other content I’ve made.

Re-posting, re-uploading, or editing any fanworks of my characters made by others without their permission (even if you’ve credited them).

Cosplaying me/my vtuber model. Cosplaying my original characters if you're under 18. Don't do genderbent cosplays of them as they are almost all trans men and it would be disturbing to see them portrayed as women. By which I mean, 'female Ambrose' cosplay wouldn't be okay, but if you're a woman and you want to cosplay regular male Ambrose that is fine (you being a woman doesn't make it genderbending, people cosplay characters of different genders all the time, you can consider it like drag or 'crossplay'.)

Portraying yourself as my characters in any way eg using my original characters for your vtuber model, using my characters for your own asmr audios.

Character Guides

I’m not going to list kinks and hard-limits, I’m just listing the kinks for each character and assume that anything not included is a hard limit.

Ambrose (Flirty Vampire)

Nickname: Rose (But!! Is only comfortable with Arden calling him Rose.. No one else can call him Rose)

Pronouns: he/him

Gender: trans man

Sexuality: omnisexual, demiromantic, polyamorous

Personality traits: flirty, cheerful, uses pet names for others all the time, between Ambrose and Arden it’s Ambrose who you should be scared of, don’t hurt someone he cares about

Physical features: blonde hair, pink eyes, nose is upturned at the end, pointed ears, fangs, A-cup chest (and doesn’t wear binders), vulva (refers to click as his cock)

Likes: singing, fashion, musicals, playing piano

Dislikes:

Clothing likes: historical fashion, 1800s menswear, nail polish, earrings, lingerie

Clothing dislikes: skirts, dresses

Sexual dynamic: dom vers (bottom leaning)

Kinks: obedient subs, biting and blood drinking, pet play (for his subs), pegging

Hard limits: being submissive, prey/predator play, any dubcon roleplay, being hypnotised, anything on my ‘will not record’ audio request list

Amaros (Flirty Cupid)

Other names: Eros, Cupid

Pronouns: he/they

Gender: trans man

Sexuality: pansexual, polyamorous

Personality traits: cheerful, flirty, comforting

Physical features: light pink-peach hair, light pink eyes, top surgery with visible scars on chest and nipples, Greek-statuesque nose

Likes:

Dislikes:

Clothing likes: makeup, chitons, gold jewellery and cuffs

Clothing dislikes: covering up most of his skin

Sexual dynamic: switch vers

Kinks:

Hard limits: anything on my ‘will not record’ audio request list

Arden (Protective Werewolf)

Pronouns: he/him

Gender: trans man

Sexuality: bisexual, demisexual, polyamorous

Personality traits: grumpy, protective, standoffish and hard to get to open up, shy when talking about romantic feelings

Physical features: 5′10″, brown hair with some greying at the temples, brown eyes, hooked nose, side burns and a little peach-fuzz facial hair on his chin, ears and tail can come out when in human form but normally just has his ears out, wolf form is a humanoid wolf, scar around left side of neck (the scratch that turned him into a werewolf), a little facial hair in center of chin and sideburns, shaved line through right eyebrow, fangs, bigger build, top surgery, hyper t-dick due to the extra testosterone from the werewolf venom, when in wolf form his cock is larger and has a knot

Likes:

Dislikes:

Clothing likes:

Clothing dislikes: skirts, dresses

Sexual dynamic: Switch vers (top leaning)

Kinks: pet play (as a dom and sub), collars and leashes, praise kink (as a sub), edging (as a sub), breeding kink (doing the breeding, but also being bred), being restrained (only by ambrose).

Hard limits: anything on my ‘will not record’ audio request list. usually tops, doesn’t often want to be penetrated as he does have bottom dysphoria but has enjoyed being ‘bred’ by ambrose from time to time, but it’s a very sensitive thing for him so i currently wouldn’t want any fanworks depicting arden bottoming.

Prince Cassius (Dom Prince)

Pronouns: he/him

Gender: trans man

Sexuality: achillean/omnisexual with a stronger attraction towards men, masc and androgynous people, aromantic

Personality traits: teasing, flirty

Physical features: red wavy hair, deep green-brown eyes, Greek-statuesque nose, top surgery, vulva (refers to click as his cock)

Likes:

Dislikes:

Clothing likes: corsets, showing off skin, jewellery

Clothing dislikes: skirts, dresses

Sexual dynamic: dom vers

Kinks: obedient subs, servitude, using toys (and objects) on his subs, cock warming (receiving end), boot humping (receiving end), light objectifying/dehumanising his subs, being called royal titles

Hard limits: anything on my ‘will not record’ audio request list

Dmitri (Dom Vampire Butler)

Pronouns: he/him

Gender: trans man

Sexuality: bisexual

Personality traits: likes to tease, flirty, strict

Physical features: dark purple hair, yellow eyes, beauty spot under his left eye, pointed ears, fangs, hooked nose, flat chest and penis

Likes: playing piano and violin

Dislikes:

Clothing likes: suits, vests and waistcoats, capes and shawls

Clothing dislikes: skirts, dresses

Sexual dynamic: dom top

Kinks: brat taming but prefers obedient subs, servitude, role-playing master/servant with himself as the master, edging and overstimulating his sub, hypnotising his subs

Hard limits: anything on my ‘will not record’ audio request list

Ellis (Soft Vampire Priest)

Pronouns: he/him

Gender: cis or trans man

Sexuality: gay

Personality traits: caring, fatherly

Physical features: curly brown hair, short beard, pointed ears, dark red eyes

Likes:

Dislikes:

Clothing likes: long sleeves, long pants and long skirts, robes, suits

Clothing dislikes:

Sexual dynamic: soft daddy dom top, sometimes up for switching but not usually

Kinks: daddy kink

Hard limits: anything on my ‘will not record’ audio request list

Father Hawthorn (Guilty Priest)

Pronouns: he/him

Gender: trans man

Sexuality: demisexual, demiromantic, omnisexual

Personality traits: grumpy and closed off until you get to know him better

Physical features: short black hair that is greying at the temples, green eyes, small side burns

Likes:

Dislikes:

Clothing likes:

Clothing dislikes:

Sexual dynamic: vers sub

Kinks:

Hard limits: anything on my ‘will not record’ audio request list

Other: he exists in the same universe as all my other audio original characters and worships the pantheon of gods that exist in this world. he is not, as people have assumed, a Christian. none of my ocs are of real world religions.

Johann (Old Lonely Vampire)

Pronouns: he/him

Gender: cis man

Sexuality: gay/achillean

Personality traits:

Physical features: long straight grey hair that was once black and one singular black piece remains, pointed ears, blue eyes, prosthetic right hand

Likes:

Dislikes:

Clothing likes:

Clothing dislikes:

Sexual dynamic:

Kinks:

Hard limits:

Other:

King Lucien (Visiting/Gentle King)

Pronouns: he/him

Gender: trans man

Sexuality: gay/achillean

Personality traits:

Physical features: long wavy brown hair that is slightly greying at the temples, moustache and beard, a couple scars on his body, top surgery, bottom surgery, angel wings the same colour as his hair from having angel lineage

Likes:

Dislikes:

Clothing likes:

Clothing dislikes:

Sexual dynamic:

Kinks:

Hard limits:

Other: outside of their 'x listener' audios, in their regular story Lysander and Lucien are a couple

Lysander (Villain)

Pronouns: he/him

Gender: trans man

Sexuality: bisexual

Personality traits:

Physical features: long black hair usually kept in a braid, scars all across his body and one on his face, moles across his body and face, often wears a leg brace on his right leg, slightly pointed ears from having some demon lineage, top surgery, bottom surgery

Likes:

Dislikes:

Clothing likes:

Clothing dislikes:

Sexual dynamic:

Kinks:

Hard limits:

Other: outside of their 'x listener' audios, in their regular story Lysander and Lucien are a couple

Orpheus (Lonely Siren)

Pronouns: he/they

Gender: cis/trans man

Sexuality:

Personality traits: introverted, distrustful, easily flustered by kindness

Physical features: webbed fins where a human’s ears would be, entirely black eyes, a tail where a human’s legs would be with a twin-tail fin at the bottom and smaller fins on the sides, scales dotted around his skin, long straight black hair

Likes:

Dislikes:

Clothing likes: doesn’t like clothes, but he likes jewellery and shiny things

Clothing dislikes:

Sexual dynamic: dom leaning switch

Kinks: hypnosis (hypnotising his sub, not being hypnotised), breath play (on his sub as in seeing them struggle to breathe via choking or being under water)

Hard limits: anything on my ‘will not record’ audio request list

Satin (Flirty Femboy Incubus)

Pronouns: he/they

Gender: trans masc / genderfaun / demiboy

Sexuality: achillean/gay (attracted to men and masc non-binary people)

Personality traits: flirty, playful

Physical features: black hair, purple eyes, hooked nose, pointed ears, long horns that curl back and to the side, top surgery, vulva, tdick growth

Likes:

Dislikes:

Clothing likes: elements of modern goth and e-girl fashion, lots of black, chokers, stockings and lingerie, skirts, graphic tshirts, corsets, earrings, makeup

Clothing dislikes:

Sexual dynamic: switch vers (sub bottom leaning)

Kinks: oral fixation, breathplay, being lightly degraded, having his nipples played with

Hard limits: anything on my ‘will not record’ audio request list

Silk (Demanding Incubus)

Pronouns: he/him

Gender: trans man

Sexuality: bisexual

Physical features: black hair, purple eyes, hooked nose, pointed ears, long horns that curl straight up, flat chest, penis, (the heart symbol on his main outfit is velvet attached to his shirt not a tattoo), uses a cane to walk (it is not an accessory, it is a mobility aid that he needs), top surgery, bottom surgery

Likes:

Dislikes:

Clothing likes: elegant clothes, long robes and skirts, mesh and transparent fabrics

Clothing dislikes:

Sexual dynamic: dom top

Kinks: master/servant, body worship, royalty kink, bondage (on his sub)

Hard limits: anything on my ‘will not record’ audio request list

Sorrow (Touch-Starved Symbiote)

Pronouns: they/them (I mistakenly said ‘he’ in their first audio, I’ve always intended Sorrow to use they/them pronouns, I mispoke while improvising. Please don’t use he/him pronouns for them).

Gender: ???

Sexuality: doesn’t like labels but is attracted to all genders

Personality traits: flirting, curious, somber

Physical features: when contained without a host they are dark blue with light blue veins, when attached to a host is over 7′0″ tall, white eyes that stretch back over his scalp, sharp teeth, light blue tongue, dark blue body with light blue veins and highlights, parts that seem to drip down and up off them like tears that don’t all obey gravity

Likes:

Dislikes:

Clothing likes: ???

Clothing dislikes: ???

Sexual dynamic: Dom top

Kinks: breeding kink, pinning you down, somnophilia

Hard limits: anything on my ‘will not record’ audio request list

Valentine (Shy Pastel Goth Vampire)

Pronouns: he/him

Gender: trans man

Sexuality: pansexual

Personality traits: shy

Physical features:

Likes:

Dislikes:

Clothing likes: pastel goth, historical fashion, ouji kei

Clothing dislikes: skirts, dresses

Sexual dynamic: Switch vers

Kinks: as a sub: being dressed up, being marked, being not allowed to wear clothes, exhibitionism, wearing toys while out in public, pussy spanking, some objectification and humiliation, size kink, toys. as a dom: giving praise, dressing his sub up, putting his sub in chastity, toys

Hard limits: anything on my ‘will not record’ audio request list t

[novantinuum]

For the emoji ask, let's do.... 🥺 ⛔ 💖

Thanks for sending some bois in!

(Fanfic writer ask meme- I am still taking these!)

_

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

When it comes to my SU works, I've always been a real big fan of exploring that good ol' mental illness related hurt/comfort.

Like... in the sense of Character A (lets be real, it's basically always Steven) is having a really hard time, and Character B is just there for them... to listen and spend time and be a support.

I enjoy exploring this dynamic because it offers me a catharsis I don't usually get to receive at any point in my actual offline life. Writing is therapeutic for me.

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

Kiiiinda Hollowed Moon? (The Spinel and Stevonnie fic that kinda blew up after the movie.) To be honest, I have in fact cleaned up my notes for that one and moved them to my current writer's app of choice- which means it's not a Complete no on me working on that again- but it's not any sort of promise.

Gosh, I would kinda like to finish it just for finishing's sake though, because I feel really awful leaving such a popular fic incomplete. There's way too many incomplete fics up there in the top kudos and bookmarks for the fandom, I don't really want to contribute to that.

In any case though, if I ever do post an update to this one it's only going to be if I FINISH it. Like, pre-write every single chapter and release from there. And it's only going to be if I get hit with divine inspiration for it, too.

💖 What made you start writing?

I honestly have no clue what the specific inspiration was, beyond just exposure to literature and stories as a kid in general. All I know is that I always used to make little "books" out of shitty folded hunks of paper that I taped together.

But yeah, it's always been in my nature to just... make stories. And especially stories that are transformative in some way. I was out there writing out fanfiction for various video games and books I liked in my dream journal before I even knew what fanfiction was.

The moment I started writing FOR REAL was after I discovered Doctor Who fanfiction online, though. After that moment, I suddenly went "ohhh people LIKE this sort of stuff?" and went wild coming up with ideas I could write about with these characters. I found it very relaxing and a good way to process emotions, so it became a hobby that stuck.

[beastlybardou]

How would you go about meeting otherkin irl actually? I have never tried.

So! This is pretty much the entire topic of the panel I hope to do - so I've got a lot to say about it! More than I can really put in one ask post - but the basics come down to

1.) Find online spaces meant for otherkin in your specific area, or, if they don't seem to exist, make them! I didn't find any Texas only otherkin servers, so I went ahead and made one, which is where I've met most of my irl otherkin friends. Even if you don't think you have enough "sway" or reach to make a successful server, its just a matter of putting it in the right tags and getting it reblogged a few times. I remember when I posted mine quite a few popular blogs in the community reblogged it which was very helpful! Generally people want to help.

In addition to servers there are also apps and websites where you might be able to find them. Reddit, Lex, and kin forums have worked well for me.

2.) Find spaces where kin might gather in meatspace - I've met other alterhumans in pagan clubs, furry conventions, and kink spaces. You've just gotta be comfortable being a little more out and loud about it so that they can find you! You can breach the subject casually and see the reactions you get. Don't worry too much about "outing" yourself, most people in those kind of spaces are very accepting and often are at least vaguely familiar with kin as a concept.

3.) Safety - if you find them online, before you go to actually meet them in person please do some basic vetting. I wouldn't recommend any of this if you aren't at least 18 to start with, and even then use your better judgment. Bring your own form of transportation so you can leave if things start feeling weird, and never get into their car on the first meeting. Tell someone where you're going, with who, and when to either expect you back or hear from you if you're staying out longer. Before you meet up, if possible do a video chat with them so you can see that they are who they say they are, and always do the initial meeting somewhere public. Just because you share community over an identity doesn't mean you can automatically trust someone, don't let yourself fall into "oh they're also otherkin so nothing bad will happen!"

That goes for if you find them in meatspace too - just think about the level of trust you would have with a non-otherkin but friendly stranger and act accordingly.

[spideyladman]

Hii, I'm doing a research project abt tumblr and I wanted to ask around what tumblr users think are positive (& negative) aspects of this hellsite. Like what do you think of the community, why do you think people keep using it, why is it different from other socials, etc.

I'd love to hear different opinions about this :)

Oh cool!! I always wanted to tell my opinion about this hellsite lol

Well, first we start with the Positives and then the Negatives on how the hellsite functions, then my opinion about the community and why I think they might be using this hellsite, and then how is it different from other socials!! If I missed some things then I am sorry ^^"

POSITIVES

It has a Staff that can interact with people and even a Secret Staff blog!

Most people are nice and are actually chill, unlike other socials *cough* Twitter *cough* *cough*

Even if it seems hard to try and work around this hellsite, it's kind of like AO3 (only more colourful lol) so no worries about trying to work around it, you'll get your head wrapped around it soon!!

Polls. Just. Just polls in general.

There's a trending page where you can possibly find a new media to look into!! If you don't like it, it's okay, you can just move on.

There is something in Settings where you can block tags and it's honestly amazing and I am thankful for them putting that.

NEGATIVES

In a lot of users' cases, they get shadowbanned for no reason. Which means if you activated notifications to them posting prior before that, you can't anymore. Plus you can't search stuff on their blog because they are shadowbanned for some reason, and they also delete the chat button on their blog. Also if you get notifications but when you click on it and see nothing, that is quite surely a shadowbanned blog. Which means if you have a mutual who has been shadowbanned and they try to reblog something from you or tag you in a post, you legit can't see it >:[

This hellsite is broken most of the time from what I hear, and I honestly can't blame them, I too have experienced a part of it: there was a time where I was trying to reblog something from my IPad and the post button was at the bottom of the post. If I switched my IPad off, when I switched it back on I legit couldn't see the bottom of the post and I tried and I tried, but I couldn't scroll to the very bottom of the post, which made me feel really frustrated. I'm honestly happy i got the app on my new phone (which I am currently using to write this post). Idk if it happens to other Tumblr users but I'm putting this here just in case.

It's more of a user problem then a hellsite problem but users don't put triggers in their posts even if their life depended on it. It really sucks because it can ruin a person's day completely.

There's a tag limit (30) and it sucks tbh xd

Some users harrass a lot of people and I think Staff don't bat an eye on that issue sometimes.

Bots. Just. Just bots everywhere.

COMMUNITY AND MY OPINION

This community can bring both joy and anger on this site, just like in any other website, though I wish that sometimes they didn't make something really infuriating start trending *cough* Taylor Swift *cough* Helluva Boss *cough* *cough*

Despite all of that, I can see that there is care and love for other types of content and they can help people cope with problems they might have at home, which is why I think is why they keep using this site, because they now have mutuals (online friends) and it's honestly sweet seeing how people can vibe about a piece of media together :"]

WHY IS THIS SOCIAL MEDIA SO DIFFERENT?

I believe it's because it helps people get into a zone of comfortness. While yes we joke about there being Twitter refugees and we must kick 'em out, sometimes I believe that the community doesn't remember how they got here. This hellsite is a place where people can get out their excitement over a piece of media without people judging them (though sometimes it is much to people's dismay *cough* Serial Killers *cough* *cough*).

I personally think of myself as an Instagram refugee. Even if I haven't used any kind of social media apart from YouTube after getting rid of my Instagram account and before getting my second Tumblr account, I believe so because, Instagram made me feel pressured on posting because what if people unfollow me for not posting enough content? Do they hate me or something? What would they think if I like Steven Universe? What would they think if I don't post enough? ...What then?

When I actually put my entire body inside of hellsite water I started feeling more comfortable and I realised that compared to other websites, even with this hellsite, even with its ups and downs, I call this hellsite my true home. I can scream, I can shout, I can feel like my true self, and that's what really matters :"3

-

I hope you like my response!! ^^

[bawwsadface]

hello

incoming a long, rambling, wistful and romantic post

what is up my party people. it has been years. i may have a handful of reposts on here from 2018 and 2020, but this zone has not been in regular use for me since early 2017. so it's interesting to come back.

i didn't come here because twitter is dying, i'm still on there. in fact i also made a cohost, and regrettably i'm the most active on instagram these days of all things (mostly cuz of the stories feature) but i digress. twitter dying has made me reminisce about days when websites still existed and the internet could be fun instead of just algorithmically served slurry slopped onto the plate of 2 apps.

coming back here and looking at the blogs i still follow, seeing how many years i've been mutuals with people i'm just Real Life Regular Person Friends with now, has been a trip for sure. my tenure on this website is actually a lot shorter than it feels like in my mind. i registered in january of 2012 and was regularly active until summer of 2017. that's not nothing, but also it feels like 3 decades worth of living happened on this site in those 5 short years. i met so many of my closest friends here. almost all the social circles i have found and/or still find myself in either started or overlapped here in some way. i met my first partner on tumblr. i did a lot of Existing on this website in my early 20s. i even used to have a podcast on here man lol.

but oh how the times did change. by 2017 i was comfortably discovering who i was as a person, and going out and living all kinds of wild adult fantasies my dorky teenage self could only have dreamed of. tumblr had become a place i reported back to after doing things irl, and was no longer the destination for discovery it had once been. in 2018 i had the most active and busy year of my life. i also finally finished college. i'm not gonna act like i had everything figured out then, i didn't. but i was comfortable in my skin by that point, something i started off this journey decidedly not being.

and yeah if you're close to me you probably know that time for thombo after 2018 was difficult. and then you know, covid etc. i live in chicago now tho so that's a plus from that time period of my life lol.

so now the tides are shifting again. i'm trying to take better care of myself. the internet has become such a wasteland and is absolutely no fun to use anymore. most of the people who are still on tumblr or are getting back into it like me are around my age group it seems. i'm turning 30 next year. life is draining and i just want a space online where i can write and look at good jpegs again. and it seems like i'm not alone in that desire.

idk who's still following or what's going to come of my presence on here as time rolls on. but for all those whose lives have touched my own through being here, thank you for everything. i miss so many of you.

anyway here's a pic of me and @halo--hall from a few weeks ago 🖤

[official-sovietunion]

Yesterday was trans day of visibility. I want to write this post here bc it is the only account online where i feel comfortable doing so. I dont use this account anymore, but when i did, i was very vocal about being trans.

I was vocal about being trans everywhere. I was, and still am, proud of my transness, and dedicated to fighting for myself and my trans siblings. I was also pre-medical transition, and despite feeling i looked very masculine, existing in the world meant outing myself every single day.

It is exhausting. It is exhausting to constantly be fighting and correcting and telling not only strangers but people ive known for years. I did not know there would ever be another option for me, so i accepted this and fought and made damn sure my voice as a trans person was heard. It is also exhausting to be homeless and stealth for safety reasons, knowing you have nowhere to run to, knowing that any sign of queerness could be the end of your life, knowing you must constantly hide and choose your words carefully to not gibe anything away.

Shortly before starting hormones, i experimented with being stealth in a particular online community that is known for its edginess and tendency to attract bigoted people (there is also a large amount of queer people in this community and we've managed to shift the userbase over the years to be more inclusive).

I made this decision because of the interactions i would have with some members that were sometimes s3xual, as well as interactions i had on dating apps. I had sent some nudes with a packer to cis men on grindr without really meaning to pass it off as my natal organs, but they assumed i was cis. That was the first time i realized i might be able to 'pass' in this capacity.

I knew that many of the cis people there, if they knew i had certain parts, would never fully think of me as a man. I just wanted people to imagine me with a penis regardless. Did being stealth in this community work? Not exactly. A lot of people made it clear they knew i was trans and would harass and ask me invasive questions, but i was adamant in never admitting my transness to them. We dont owe cis people anything.

Shortly after this i became homeless, following my 18th birthday. from that point on i have been 100% stealth until i find out someone else is trans too, i will tell them in private. At first i was getting misgendered still, but i would act confused like 'you thought i was a girl? How wacky and unusual for me! Haha!' This seemed to work pretty well and after a couple years on hormones i passed pretty much 100% of the time.

A lot of trans people read me as cis. This was comforting, briefly, since if even another trans person couldnt tell, a cis person definitely wouldnt be able to. But i hate it. I hate to think that any trans person has to wonder if they can be themselves around me, if they can trust me. Its interesting also to see the way cis people will talk to me about trans people, not realizing im "one of them"

I feel like i am betraying part of myself. I feel like i am betraying the whole trans community. I want to fight and be vocal again. I want to actually be open about my gender identity. I tell people i am a man because it makes things easier. Because it is safer. Because of all the people who just continued to call me a girl and said i had to pick a gender. I dont have to pick a gender. Gender isnt real to me. I will present the way i want to present.

As i get closer to bottom surgery, i feel much more confident that i will be able to be more vocal about transness. I dont know what i will tell people about my gender identity. I dont really want to have to have a gender identity at all. I have experienced far too much ego death to be connected to any concept of identity that goes any further than a preformance. I just dont want people to know my AGAB. i want them to see me as someone who has always had a penis, even if it was only in my mind for much of my life. What i really want is for people who have no business in my pants to stop thinking so hard about whats down there.

I want to balance being able to maintain my privacy while not feeling i hafta hide myself. I want to balance being able to feel safe with my activism. So many people dont have the priveldge to hide. I was one of those people once. I dont want to hide, its more important than ever that trans youth see people that look like them. This isnt something that will come easily, with everything happening politically. And aside from that, untill theres not a single transphobe left in the world, i dont think ill ever feel completely safe as an openly trans person on the street. But im working towards… something. Like everything, itll be a transition.

Im tired of my identity, my existence, being so intertwined and influenced by violence, biogtry, capitalism. If it werent for the way cis people treat us, if it werent for the way this society works that keeps us poor and refuses us housing, i wouldnt hafta worry about any of this. I would be loudly and joyously trans. I dont know if ill ever be able to get to that point, bc its not even really up to me. But if i am willing to speak up and fight, i can help make changes that will make it possible not just for me but for everyone.

[goombasa]

Installing Linux Casually

So, after a few comments that I got back on my post about using linux casually, I got someone who said that they didn't think that installing Linux was easy and that they'd had a difficult time with it in the past.

I realized that I'd done exactly what I was hoping I wouldn't do with that post and that was assume a certainly level of comfort on the part of other people when it came to Linux and how it can be used, and so I thought that this week, I'd do a quick tutorial on how to install Linux. This is going to be aimed at someone who has never done this before, and so will be using the path of least resistance, but I will make multiple recommendations when I can, so if you're interested in at least trying Linux out, I hope that this helps to get you to the point where you can at least explore the new desktop. So let's get started.

Step 1: Prep Your Computer

This step is a lot less intensive than it sounds. Basically you just want to make sure that you have backups of anything you want to keep on your computer. Get yourself an external hard drive or some cloud storage, and put copies of any important documents, photos, videos, etc. on there so that you don't lose something if anything goes wrong. The odds of that happening are slim, but you never want to take any chances when it comes to computers, finnicky little bastards that they are.

Oh, and you should also make sure that any programs you use frequently are either compatible with Linux, or have a linux equivalent that you feel okay with using. Yes, there are ways to install Windows programs on Linux, like Wine and Bottles, but in my experience, while it can work fine for simple programs, it's not going to play nice with most professional software, especially stuff that needs to be always online and updates itself frequently. It won't be a problem if you're used to using open source software or largely use web apps, but just keep in mind that if you need or use something like the Adobe Suite frequently, Linux might be an issue.

Step 2: Choose Your Distribution

Like I mentioned in the ‘using linux casually’ post, Linux comes in a lot of different flavors, and you'll want to do some research into specifically what each distribution offers and how easy it is for a computer layman to use without issue. My personal recommendation on this front is definitely Linux Mintas it has a layout that is decently similar to something like Windows 10, it has a very straightforward installation process, and pretty much anything that Windows can do from a GUI for basic navigation and settings, Mint can do as well, so you shouldn't have to touch the Terminal at all. Hell, I still haven't come across anything in my daily use that requires me to open the terminal.

This tutorial will go forward assuming you're using mint, but most beginner friendly distributions are going to have the exact same installation process, so here are a few others that are often cited as beginner friendly. Please note that I can't speak to if they actually are or not, as I haven't used a ton of them, but I'm putting them here for completeness:

Ubuntu

Zorin OS

Linux Lite

Pop!_OS

MX Linux

Once you've made your decision, download the distribution. ALWAYS be sure to grab the distribution from the official website! Not only are you guaranteed to get the most up to date version of the operating system this way, but you can also be sure that there's nothing nasty put in there as well. It will most likely be an ISO file, which is a format that basically mimics am installation CD. Now that your computer is ready and you have your distro in hand, let's move on to the fun part.

Step 3: Flashing Your Linux Distribution to A Thumb Stick

Don't worry, this step is a lot easier than it sounds. All you have to do is download a program made to flash ISO files onto external hard drives and storage devices to make them bootable, and make sure you have a spare USB stick, of at least about 4 gigs. I'd recommend at least 8 personally, but 4 is fine in most cases. I would recommend Balena Etcher for newbies, as it is about as simple as a program can get. You can also use Rufus if you want, as it does the same, and gives you a few extra options, but for beginners, you aren't going to be using most of those options, so we'll go forward assuming you're using Balena Etcher.

When you open up the program, first click on the Flash from File button and navigate to where you saved the ISO of your distribution. Unless you've gone out of your way to change it, it'll probably be in your Downloads folder. Select it and click open.

Next, choose the target you want to flash the ISO to. Make sure your USB stick is inserted and is being seen by the computer, and make sure you select it from the list. The program will most likely identify it as a generic USB device, and will also tell you how much storage is on the stick. After you select that, just click flash and wait for it to finish flashing. This can take a little while depending on your computer, but it generally shouldn't take too long to finish.

Now we get to the point where some folks start to get tripped up.

Step 4: Boot into Linux Mint

Now we have to make it so our computer will boot into Linux Mint on the USB Stick. To do this, we have to restart our computer with the USB Stick inserted. One it starts up, quickly tap the key at startup that the computer tells you will take you to the boot menu. It's generally one of the Function keys (F1, F2, F11, etch), but can also be ESC or Delete keys as well. This will take you to a boot menu where you can change the order in which the computer looks for bootable devices. Put your USB stick at the very top of the list, save the chances, and hit Escape to exit. Depending on the age of your computer, you might be able to use your mouse for this, but older forms of the menu sometimes require you to navigate by keyboard. From here, the computer will restart and will boot from the USB Stick.

After a few moments, you should see what's called a GNU GRUB menu with a few options on it. You should be able to just choose to start Linux Mint. Don't worry, we're not installing anything yet. It'll take a little while before it starts up, but that's mostly because it's loading off of a small USB Stick. But so long as you're seeing the Linux Mint logo, you're fine.

Step 5: Try It Out!

This is one of the best parts of Linux Mint. When you boot into it from a USB stick, it takes you into what's called a Live Environment. You are essentially running the entire operating system off of the stick, so it's not going to be super fast or anything, but it lets you poke around, check out the default layout, try installing some basic stuff and such. Just be aware that some programs and applications won't work in the live environment, but enough is functional to give you a gentle idea of the layout and navigation. If for whatever reason you change your mind and don't want to install Linux Mint at this point, then you can just shut down your computer from the home menu and remove the USB stick, and it should boot up back into Windows normally the next time you start it up.

Step 6: Install it!

Once you're done poking around and are ready to fully commit to an install, you'll see an icon on your desktop below the Computer and Home folders that looks like a CD, called Install Linux Mint. Double click that to start the install process. From here, it's a very straightforward process, but let's go through each step real quick:

Choose your language. There are a LOT of languages to choose from, but English will be the default.

Connect to the internet. You can skip this if you want to (unlike SOME operating systems), but connecting at the start is recommended because of the next step.

Tic the box for third-party media codecs. This will download all the packages that Linux Mint needs in order to properly play most forms of media. Due to licensing, they can't have this stuff installed by default, but offering the end user the ability to install it now gets around that.

Choose an Install Type. I recommend just erasing the disk and installing Linux Mint as the only OS. If there's another operating system already on the disk, you can choose to install Mint alongside it and Mint will even do the heavy lifting for you and resize the other OS partition and everything, but for simplicity's sake, I prefer to just erase the disk and run Mint as the only game in town.

Select your timezone. This one's pretty self explanatory, just select whichever region of the world you happen to be a part of, or the closest to it.

Select your keyboard layout. Again,s elf explanatory, and a lot like languages, there is an impressive array of keyboards to choose from, but regular US English will be the default. You can also type in the box below the choices to test it, or just click the ‘detect keyboard layout’ button if you don't want to search for it and are using something a bit more exotic.

Enter your personal details. All of these have to be populated, but you can basically put in whatever you want for your name and the computer's name. The computer's name is basically how it will be identified on say, a local network. Your username should be something easy to remember, as you will need to know it, and the password can be anything you want it to be, but if you're concerned about other people getting into your PC, might want to make it something decently strong. You can also choose whether or not you want to log in manually with your password every time you start the computer or wake it up, and can even choose to encrypt your home folder to keep it safe from people trying to get into it locally.

Enjoy the welcome slideshow. It'll show you most of the default programs preinstalled on Mint and give you some idea of how to use the layout while everything is installing in the background. Once it's finished, your computer will ask to restart, and you can either continue testing or start immediately. Once you restart your PC, remove the USB stick when prompted and you should boot into your brand new Linux Mint PC.

Step 7: Poke Around and Start Outfitting It!

At this point, we're basically done, but just to get you started, I thought we'd leave off on exploring how to get stuff on your computer. Rather than hunting down and downloading stuff on web sites for most of your programs, you'll install most stuff from repositories. I know it sounds weird, but if you've ever used a mobile app store, you'll feel right at home.

First, go into your home menu and type in ‘software manager’ When it comes up, click it to go to what is essentially the free software store of Linux Mint.

Now that you're in the software manager, you can browse through the various categories to find programs that you want, or you can just search for specific programs in the search bar. When you find one you want, click on it and then you can either install it right then and there, or, in some cases, choose if you want to install the ‘flatpak’ version or the System Package version. This is a bit beyond the scope of this video, but I will say, if you're just getting into Linux, it doesn't really matter what you choose, as they both have their own positives and negatives, but either way you're going to get the program that you want. For now just think of it this way: If you want the absolute latest stable version of a program, go with Flatpak. If you want something that's a little bit older but is easier to modify, go with System Package. I personally prefer Flatpak, but this is more a personal preference that I only arrived at after like a year of working with Linux. Also, some programs are only going to be available as one or the other, so keep that in mind.

After that, just click install and it will install on your system and you can access it from the home menu like you would on Windows, and of course you can pin it to your task bar or put it on your desktop for easy access later on. Oh, and you can also launch the program from the Software Manager as well after it's installed. This is also where you'll go if you want to uninstall a program as well.

The End

And that's about it for this post. I do hope it helps some people out and makes the installation process for Linux Mint a bit less daunting. It should be noted that the Linux Mint site itself does have extensive documentation on installing the distribution that goes a bit deeper than this does as well, so you might find more information on a topic there, this was basically meant to be as streamlined as possible for new users.

Before signing off, however, I wanted to give a quick, short list of resources for new linux users. Some of these aren't specifically aimed at beginners, but might give you some ideas on what's possible with your shiny, new operating system, and once you find yourself getting a little bit bolder, might help you to learn a bit more about the more advanced features, when you feel comfortable enough to try them. So in no particular order:

Gaming On Linux: An excellent resource for anyone who plays games to keep up with recent developments in that space, as Linux has become more and more compatibe with games over the last few years, ever since Steam introduced their Proton compatibility layer and more tools like Lutris have become available that make it much easier to install and play older games that might not be available on Steam.

Flathub: This is the main repository for Flatpaks, and allows you to browse through the incredibly large selection of different programs by category and see the latest changes to each one.

The Linux Experiment: A youtube channel that focuses mostly on Linux news, but also does a lot of opinionated video essays and tutorials on various topics and is a bit more approachable than other Linux channels that focus on more complex or in-depth parts of the operating system.

[shirogane-oushirou]

1, 2, and 7!! :3

hello niiiiick! 🥰💕 thanks so much for the ask~!! i hope you've had a wonderful anniversary today!!!! seeing all of your older art for the first time has been such a blast 💕💕💕

1. have you gained any new F/Os this year?

ren my best friend ren!!!!! i'd list any new fandom-related f/os here but... tbch, i haven't played or read much of anything this year ;;;; also ren has had a stranglehold on my brain ever since he showed up at the start of may, so i doubt anyone new could have broken through that... hell, even the one other f/o i added is just an AU version of ren kjsdnfnkj.

2. if you did add any new F/Os to your list this year, was there someone who you absolutely didn't expect would end up becoming an F/O? if so, did it take you a long time to realize you like them, or did they take your heart by storm?

went to sleep one night thinking about [][][][]ing mars, woke up maybe 4hrs later, half-asleep, ready to put a ring on some other Guy my brain cooked up for me jkngkjngekj. could never have expected ren or his au counterpart, and they've rotted my brain ever since. a little more on the unexpected side, i was finally able to compartmentalize my feelings wrt boris hnkna! he was the first character i f/o'd (platonically) from hnkna, but in college, i introduced an online friend to hnkna and he felt a kinship w boris.... when things broke bad w him (hi, chat app trauma~~~), it broke bad with boris as well. he was "covered in The Ooze" and all of that. BUT! he lives with gray (rom f/o) and nightmare (other platonic f/o) in spade, so seeing him in a new setting, having learned from mistakes from previous games, hanging out with my husband and bestie, and his romantic route being much less squicky.... i finally felt comfortable adding him back to the platonic f/o list! 💕💕💕 he's actually one of the reasons why i decided to add platonic tags at all!!! i'm so excited to have my beloved punk catboy back!!

7. in a similar vein, were there any special/memorable moments you had with the selfship community this year? (this can be anything from taking part in an event to receiving a particularly kind message - no matter how big or small!)

genuinely the Whole Thing. All Of It. i initially made this blog a year ago as a place to dump my "cringe ass selfship posts" for oushirou, isolated from any other blogs, just for me because i didn't have the social capacity to join a big fandom... but then i saw an artist i like being completely open about her selfships on twitter, which inspired me. i decided to put the social skills i'd been practicing for several months to the test, opening myself up to a community i knew NOTHING about, with people i had ZERO connection to, who COULD be super clique-y and mean.... and i was pleasantly surprised. it turns out there are some absolutely amazing, wonderful, funny, friendly, kind, caring, thoughtful, skilled, creative people in this community who were welcoming despite my newness! (not to say parts of it AREN'T clique-y and mean -- pretending otherwise would hurt people who've been targetted -- just that there are more chill people than i expected ;;;) safeshiptember is probably the one thing that really kicked it off for me! that's when i started creating things Specifically for this blog and putting things in the fandom tags. people found me and i found them through our works, we started chatting a bit, started sharing each others' work with positive notes, and created real connections. i feel connected to people for the first time in 8 years, in a more "real" way than stream chats. 💗🥰

[compassionatereminders]

Hey Kat, firstly I'd like to let you know I'm wishing all the best for you, and I'm always glad to see your posts on the dash. Secondly, I'd appreciate a chance to get something off my chest, because I feel like an asshole but I also don't.

So, ten years ago I hit it off with someone online - like, best friends within a couple weeks. Two years later, despite the distance (they live in another country), we decided to consider ourselves partners, because the distance actually appealed to us (at that point we were both antisocial & averse to physical contact, so eliminating presumed obligations towards touch that came with dating was a relief).

It was literally a few hours later that I started second guessing my response of 'yes' to them asking me to be their partner, but I pushed the apprehension down, chalking it up to being nervous as it was my first relationship (I was 17 at the time).

But that gut feeling that I should have said 'no' never went away.

Over time it got worse - there came a point where I decided I *did* want physical contact and affection, and I made sure to tell them that. They gave me approval to take a chance if one arose, but that's because I assured them that my emotional affection was all for them - and at the time, it sincerely was. I just wanted experiences that I couldn't get from them (I did visit three times, and we'd only ever held hands - which I'd always respected, and never would I dare ask for anything more than someone was willing to give).

i had a minor experience with someone else, immediately decided I didn't like it, and returned myself solely to the comfort of the distanced relationship I'd had for 7 years at this point.

But it was so unfulfilling. This person had BPD and appointed me 'their person'. I don't speak ill of mental illness, but what this did was put me in a position where any little thing I did dictated their mood to me that day. It was constant walking on eggshells. I had to carefully choose my words every time I spoke. I had to tend to their mental stability, while struggling through my own.

I overcame depression, thankfully, and I'm a much better person than I'd ever been, and I continue to grow - but they have been in the same rut for years, and gets volatile when I try to help them ; I don't make demands, I don't tell them what they have to do, but if I make suggestions towards improvement, they get snippy and cold to me. Some time later, we actually decided to refer to ourselves as 'queer platonic' partners, but I still felt this weird obligation I was expected to meet that went deeper.

Cut to last June. I was feeling exceptionally lonely, so I signed up for an app that would help me find local friends/partners. I was intending only for friends, because my circle has two people in it. I ended up meeting this guy who asked me on a date.

Kat, I fell in utter love with him.

I'm hopeless, he's like sunshine.

When I met him, I told my prior partner I was going on a date. A *date* . I told them when he asked if he could be my boyfriend, and I approved.

Around this time my work had picked up severely, and I told them so. We went from talking daily to under ten messages a day.

Two weeks ago, it was a message or four every other day, if even that. For the past week, I haven't sent anything, and my work has greatly slowed.

I ghosted, I guess. I used to think this person would be in my life forever, but I always knew a relationship would never last - we couldn't fulfill one another, not to mention neither of us were willing to move out of our countries. Additionally, we both outgrew the same interests we once shared and went in very different directions with our new fixations. As an aside, if ever I mentioned my boyfriend, who I am always keen to gush about, they would ignore it completely and change subjects. I tried to be respectful about that, but it stung that they didn't acknowledge my happiness.

I made a lot of promises that I feel bad I couldn't keep, but by god it felt like I was the only one trying. They'd give me apologies hours after snapping, but never change their behavior, and I would feel like shit again and again every time we spoke, because it would always turn into the same conversation.

I'm sad for them, for not knowing what I needed to do to help, or just not being strong enough, but. Like I said, I came a long way myself - I believe entirely that someone won't change until they decided they've had enough themselves, but I was really rooting for their recovery.

However I've moved on. I'm sitting with my boyfriend right now, overwrought with love for him. I dont think I intend to message this old friend, because I am in a good, safe, fulfilling place right now, and I want to progress towards further goodness with him.

I don't think you're in the wrong for letting go and moving on and I definitely don't think you're a bad person for doing so. But I have a desire to encourage you to say goodbye before cutting them off entirely. It doesn't have to be more than one short message. But I think it's a good and right thing to do after many years of being a primary person in someone's life