#it was that cool i didn't think it was spoiled by that scene at all

[11queensupreme11]

Hello, how do the Yanderes react when they find out that Percy became a child of about 5 or 6 years old? I ask this because according to them, Percy was born as a teenager.

this is a lil complicated to explain, but percy was not born as a "teenager" to them, but with the appearance of a fully grown goddess. they just treated her like a baby, because she technically was despite her appearance. plus, she definitely didn't have the perfect mannerisms of a fully grown goddess, so there was that too. she was a "baby".

the concept of "teenage-hood" didn't exist in ancient times. back then, you go from child to adult. there's no in-between like we do now. when ppl reached puberty (for girls this would be when they have their first period), you were automatically deemed an adult!

(also, if you go back to chapter 7 to the apollo scene, i even wrote a short discussion about this where the nymphs of apollo's harem had no idea what a "teenager" was and they laugh about it since it's another "silly concept" humans made lol)

BUT ANYWAY

poseidon would absolutely horde his daughter in his palace. no one is allowed to ever speak of what happened because he knows the other yans would try to snatch her, or worse, his annoying mother would take her cuz she's obsessed with babies 💀💀 he'd spend every second with his daughter lmao, he'd carry her around, pinch and squish her cheeks, watch her sleep, etc. but he'd be so paranoid. it was already hard enough trying to be gentle in handling his daughter in her og form, but now that she was even smaller and weaker and frailer???? he's working EXTRA hard to be as careful as possible

hades would do the same! he'd put the entire palace on lockdown, all phones would be confiscated, and any other methods of communication (whether it be telepathy, letters, etc) would strictly be forbidden within his palace walls. he does NOT want to risk the news of percy's transformation spreading around. he'd have so much fun doting on her; conjuring up dolls and tea party sets, letting her play with cerberus (tho he has to shrink him tho). he'd abandon all his kingly duties just to play silly games with her 😭

you know how little kids are always asking the most annoying and random questions ever because their curiosity is just never-ending??? well, beelzebub actually wouldn't mind it! he's a genius so he has proper answers to pretty much anything percy can ask! would her tiny child brain understand a single thing? nope! but that's fine cuz he can answer her questions within a question too! the only issue he has is bedtimes when she requests a bedtime story and he has.... none. nor is he creative enough to think of story to give to a child 💀💀💀

SHE WOULD HAVE A BLAST WITH ANUBIS LMAO. he's basically a mix between a babysitter and a playmate all rolled into one 😂😂😂 the best part is that while the other yans wouldn't bother letting her do mortal stuff like watching human tv shows and movies or buying mortal-made dolls, anubis would happily do those with her! he already lets kebi have whatever she wants after all, spoiling another little girl is easy peasy! she wants to listen to watch "the little mermaid"? he has no clue wtf that is, but he'll get the theater room ready! she wants a mermaid barbie? voila, he's already got it summoned in his hand!

apollo's another excellent babysitter! sure he'll keep her locked up within the confines of delos island, but that's fine cuz he always keeps her happy and entertained with all kinds of things to do!!!! he'll show off his cool skills on the lyre and teach her how to play. oh, she likes drawings??? he has an art room!!!! he'll probably get really really concerned when she starts drawing big and scary monsters and gets even MORE worried when he asks about it and she says "oh, this one was following me once when i was waiting for mommy to pick me up from school. and this one kept trying to lure me away with candy" 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

loki's probably the one who makes her cry first 💀 not on purpose, he's just excited okay???? knowing him, he'd probably take her out to explore some cool spot he used to let his kids play at, but instead of teleporting there, he'd pick her up and fly there which makes her panic and cry because of how high up they were. might even drop her on accident because of how much she's moving around. he catches her ofc, but now she's traumatized. oops 💀

cú chulainn would be another one who would make her cry 😭😭😭 he is absolutely clueless on how to deal with children, little girls especially. so he just tries to keep her locked up inside the palace for her own safety, but even THAT was a safety hazard cuz she keeps getting into danger 😭😭 he once saw her climb up the kitchen counter with a wobbly chair and nearly fell over until he caught her. then he saw her trip over an upturned part of the rug and now she's got a bruise on her head. saw her try to reach into the fireplace out of curiosity. etc etc. she just can't keep fucking STILL for once. why can't she just stay inside a room and play dolls or whatever?! he probably loses his shit after saving her for the 1364176th time and snaps at her to just keep still only to panic when she starts BAWLING 💀💀💀💀

[ikari-shinsei]

These drawings look really cool, and I'm sure it was an epic moment in the comics, but when I look at these images, I can't help but think 'This feels so empty without Super Shadow there with them.'

It's like there's a piece of a puzzle that's missing and without it, all that's left is just an incomplete picture.

[pseudowho]

"Kento, can you play this game for me?"

Putting his shoes in the rack, and loosening his tie with two fingers, Kento's hands magnetised to your hips, and his lips to your forehead.

He hummed at the plastic-sealed game in your hands.

"I may be wrong, but I believe the enjoyment of a game comes through playing it yourself."

The game cover was a jagged mash of reds and blacks-- something grotesque, Kento had no doubt-- and you grimaced, apologetic.

"The thing is, I want to play it, but I just...can't. I don't think I could handle it, but...I could watch?"

Kento looked flatly at the game case. Your words still didn't seem to register.

"...you...just want to watch?"

"Yes."

"Watch me play it?"

"Yes."

"Wh-- ...never mind. Alright. I'll play it for you."

You gasped in joy, pressing a wet kiss to his cheek, and jumping onto the sofa. Kento huffed, his half-smile painting his irritation as false. With bags of sweets, snacks, fluffy blankets and the lights off, you had clearly placed money on him saying yes.

Kento sat, unbuttoning the top of his shirt, and watching you set the game up.

"It's a horror, I assume?"

"You assume right. You've got a camera, and there are ghosts, and an abandoned creepy village and you're trapped--"

A cool hum, unfazed. Kento leaned back, unbothered as the title screen opened, and he clicked through settings, suddenly sixteen again. The game began, the cut scene telling a tale of woe, and the barest hints of the dreadful, mangled spirits to come.

You chirped, hiding all of your toes beneath a blanket. Your body pressed to Kento's side, and he grunted, sweeping your legs over his lap without looking away from the screen. You crammed a sweet into your mouth, adorably wide-eyed enough to make Kento huff with a crooked smile.

You were an easy target for games like this; your vivid imagination and skittishness fell victim to haunting ambience, hook, line and sinker. Kento was safe-- slick, analytical, more method than man.

By the first ghosts, you threatened to pull the blanket over your eyes.

By the first fight, you jumped hard enough to upend popcorn all over Kento's lap, squealing and flapping your hands as Kento chastised you ("Darling-- you're a Sorcerer, for god's sake--").

By the boss fight, you had buried your face in Kento's neck, your arms throttling him as you clung for dear life. Kento grunted again, as concentrated as he was as a teenager, and paused the game for just long enough to lift you into his lap, rest his chin on your head and finish the fight. Two broad arms bracketed you, while clever fingers did their duty.

Kento finished the fight. He breathed out, completely unshaken, and looked down at you mulishly, gently scolding. You swallowed hard to feel him twitch inside his pants against your lower back. His voice was gravelly, the room still bathed in ghoulish light.

"I think that's quite enough for one night."

You looked up at him, suppressing laughter at yourself. Your voice was sickeningly sweet, coy, and you stroked your fingers down his chest, whispering.

"My hero."

Another hum, and a rumbling moan as your fingers hit his zipper. Kento took his spoils, your kisses a boon, and pressed you back into the sofa, deepening his kiss until his tongue stroked for entry, and you felt molten promise pit in your belly.

Without warning, Kento pulled back with a sigh. He sat in the corner of the sofa, mellowsoft eyes on you in a determined half-smile. Your mouth watered as he unzipped himself, hooked his aching cock out and held it in his palm. He offered one slow stroke, a bead of pre cum trickling down his fingers.

As you crawled towards him, Kento held up his other hand to halt. You obeyed, close to a whimper, as Kento scolded you, and began stroking himself to a ragged moan and spreading thighs.

"Ah ah ah. I thought you liked to watch?"

[sincerlyus]

Reverse Falls!!

Soo this is my take on Reverse Falls!! I don't really know which are the original designs or which are the new personalities that each character adapts, so I made my own headcanons!! :3

It should be noted that there are characters who do not change personalities with anyone, but rather their personalities are more exaggerated or are opposite to the originals. Or (in the case of McGucket) their relationships are different so they change their way of being progressively.

EXPLANATION TIME:

This is quite long, I'm going to explain the personalities of each one and how they relate to various characters. Credits to: hours of daydreaming and Google Translate  (TW: child abuse, emotional and physical abuse, homophobia, classism. I don't know if there's anything else, just in case)

Pacifica Northwest: Outgoing and very expressive. She didn't know Gideon very well until her parents sent her to Reverse Falls. She likes to knit, draw, and has a lot of stuffed animals. She has a lot of hair, and likes to do different hairstyles every day ("to be innovative"), cries when she has to cut it. She is very affectionate with Gideon and tries to get him out of his shell. She is a little insecure, but likes to see the positive side of things. She gets along very well with Bud, although sometimes she feels he is a little weird. Symbol: Llama (on her sweater)

Gideon Gleefull: Insecure, has little self-confidence, very skittish and anxious. Has a habit of chewing when he is thinking, like OG!Dipper (chewing on pens, his shirt, etc.). He didn't really know how to talk to Paz at first since the first time they met they were very little, what was she going to say?, was a "Hello" enough?, a handshake?, a complicated handshake?, was she going to ignore him? Paz simply gave him a big hug when she got off the bus (+ gave him a sweater she made on the way). Symbol: Telepathy star (in his hat)

Bud Gleefull: Ultimate scammer. Very friendly and funny, although sometimes a little intimidating. Bye Hawaiian shirts. Very patient with Gideon. He is basically the “cool uncle/dad”. He put Paz to work the day she arrived, although he became attached very quickly and gave her family privileges (he does the same with Gideon).

Mason “Dipper” Pines: He is still very insecure but is able to feign confidence when standing on stage with his sister. He still has a lot of passion for science, he is not very affectionate, he holds back his emotions as he does not want to look vulnerable, especially in front of Stanford. He has a lot of respect for Ford (or rather, fear), being his apprentice he sees him more as a teacher, a superior figure than as an uncle; however he has very little respect for Stan, threatening him and making fun of him. He does not usually use his amulet much, only to practice tricks or in his shows. He has a very distant relationship with his sister, similar to that of the Stan twins. They have many disagreements, but they still have each other's back, especially when Ford is aggressive with one of them. The most sincere relationship he has is with F, although he still treats him like an employee, knowing that he was one of the brilliant minds behind the portal he respects him. Sometimes he discusses theories and shares discoveries with him (although he is embarrassed to think that his only "friend" is an employee of his uncle). Once he met Gideon and Paz, he was able to show his more fragile side and be himself, although he doesn't consider them completely friends (that changes post-weirdmageddon). Symbol: Pine tree (a small pin)

Mabel Pines: A spoiled brat, basically. She's very charming and friendly on stage and with guests at the Pines' many parties, but she's very whiny and selfish behind the scenes. She's not at all affectionate, to the point that she hates physical contact, especially if it's from townspeople. She resents her brother a lot for being Ford's "favorite" (he doesn't really have favorites, he's just less strict with Dipper because he's useful to him). She's Stan's spoiled child, giving her what she wants when she wants it (they have a nice relationship actually, Stan being one of the only ones who comforts her when she's sad). Instead of knitting, she likes to design her own dresses and accessories for shows and parties (her guilty pleasure is arts & crafts, since it's a very "childish" activity for a Pines). Obsessed with Paz, but learns to respect her limits throughout the story. Symbol: Shooting Star (a small pin)

Stanley Pines: He basically swaps personalities with Bud, runs the Telepathy Tent, is very friendly, and is scared of his brother and the twins. He never gets involved in Ford's experiments, having a very tense relationship with him. He loves the twins very much but knowing the power they have with those amulets he prefers to go along with them and not question too much what they ask (he knows when to be firm but the one who really has an impact on them and can make them see reason is Ford). Symbol: Oyster(?? (on a necklace)

Stanford F. Pines: Did you think OG! Ford was a jerk? Well now he's twice as much! He doesn't have an ounce of empathy in him, he's very narcissistic and only cares about his projects and his image. He doesn't care at all about the twins, only seeing them as a way to make money, demanding the most out of them, and he doesn't hesitate to use violence if any of them get out of line. He's very distant with Stanley, speaking to him very dryly (or rather, barely speaking to him at all). He's almost a hermit, living in his laboratory, not letting the townspeople get to know him; although unlike OG! Ford, he cares a lot about how he presents himself in front of the public, taking care of his image and clothing. He's very demanding with Mabel, as he feels she's nothing more than a spoiled child, the image of the Telepathy Tent along with her brother. He is a bit kinder to Dipper, as he realizes that he has a brilliant mind for his age (though not more so than his own), so he includes him in many of his experiments and research if he proves useful; but excluding that, he is just as insensitive as he is with his twin, mistreating him if he does not comply with what is due. His relationship with McGucket is kinda weird: although they were friends in college, the power that Bill/Will offered him completely consumed him, being abusive to F, forcing him to work long nights, keeping him awake by force. He only sees him for his use: his great skill with mechanics (which Ford does not have, although he hates to mention it). Although he was in love with F while he was at Backupsmore, he currently has no romantic feelings towards him, considering him an employee, his assistant, nothing more. He has internalized homophobia (a gift from Filbrick) and classism, so he hates to remember when his relationship with F was one of equals, friends. It disgusts him to think about when he would get so emotional around him. Symbol: Six Fingered Hand (the diaries)

Fiddleford H. McGucket: He is still the brilliant mind he was in his youth, but stress eats him alive. He started to age very quickly thanks to it. He invented the memory gun to try to forget all the horrible things he witnessed or that Ford made him suffer, but his boss doesn't allow him to use it too much since it can damage his mental health and erase knowledge, making him less efficient and useful. He doesn't have a very deep relationship with Stanley, since he practically lives in the lab where Ford forces him to work, but they are able to talk whenever F has a break (almost never). He can't stand the twins too much, not only because he feels that they are very annoying, but because the simple presence of children in his day to day life reminds him a lot of Tate, with whom he no longer has contact. Everyone knows about the abusive relationship he has with Stanford, they are not indifferent to it but they try not to mention it or get involved in his affairs (practically out of fear of Ford).  Throughout his stay with Stanford he started developing an emotional dependence on him: not only did he make him feel that he was useless without him, but he uses violence on him when he is not fulfilling his duty, causing F to blame himself when this happens (What did he do wrong? What can he do to improve?). This got to the point where he started to hurt himself when he did not do something right. Ex: hitting himself when he noticed that his leg was bouncing in front of his anxiety (something that bothers Ford a lot), pulling out clumps of hair in front of the stress of not being able to achieve something, biting his nails, scratching himself, hitting his head (imagine Dobby from HP). Such actions and the mixed feelings he had towards Ford, made him develop masochism, enjoying when he inflicts pain on himself and when he is the victim of Ford's physical and psychological abuse, he clearly hid this for a while since it would look very unprofessional on his part.  Eventually his boss found out and used this to his advantage, being quite sadist himself (he enjoys watching or inflicting pain and/or humiliation on others, in this case, he gets sexual pleasure). So every time Ford needs to let off some steam, vent his frustrations (or is just horny), he uses Fiddleford to fulfill his fantasies, making F's wishes come true as well. He basically uses him as a sex toy, and F doesn't complain, having suffered so much emotional manipulation, he even considers himself lucky that his boss wants to be with him like this, even if it's NOT healthy. Symbol: Spectacles

Bill Cipher: I don't like the idea of ​​changing his name, so Bill stays. He's still the same chaotic demon as in the original series, but this time he's been tricked by Ford into working for him and doing his bidding. He's also forced to do the twins' bidding. We already know that Bill can change his shape and color, so I think all of his shame and self-pity manifests itself in his appearance, turning blue over time (any strong emotion makes him change his appearance). He manipulates Gideon and Paz, making them feel sorry for him so they'll do his bidding (it doesn't work, clearly). The people he has the most contact with are Ford and Fiddleford, as they spend most of their time in the basement where he's locked up.

So that's it. I don't really know how this timeline would work, considering the portal and the journals, but I just wanted to have fun with the character designs and relationships (I feel like the weirdmageddon would happen sooner than in the original timeline). If you want me to go deeper into certain relationships or characters, let me know!!(≧▽≦) I'll see if I can go deeper into the relationship between Ford and Fiddleford that you guys liked so much (you guys really like toxic yaoi, huh??). I'm thinking of making a fanfic or smt to explain their day to day life in the lab and how Ford invited F to work with him (SPOILER: it didn't go well...).

That's it ig, LIKE AND SUSCRIBE!!!1!!1!Σ(°ロ°)

[woso-dreamzzz]

Flag VI

Barcelona Femení x Child!Reader

Summary: You go for a visit to see the Barcelona team

Ingrid ignores the odd looks she gets as she and Mapi step into the locker room.

She walks straight up to Caro, a smug grin on her face.

"I've got The Baby!" She says gleefully, rocking her body side to side as you giggle.

"Mapi," Patri whispers," That's not a baby. Your girlfriend knows that, right?"

"That's y/n," Mapi says in answer, hanging up her bag," She's Frida and her girlfriend's daughter. Ingrid's her auntie."

"Maanum, right? That Frida? What's she doing in Barcelona?"

"They're having a little visit before they go to Tenerife. Ingrid volunteered us for a sleepover last night."

Patri winces. "Was it bad?"

"She's delightful actually," Mapi answers," Ate all her dinner without complaints and had a cup of warm milk before bed. Most well behaved kid I've ever met."

"Caro!" You say happily," Caro! Caro! Caro!"

Caro smiles a bit awkwardly at all the attention, at the way you're trying to fling yourself out of Ingrid's grip and into Caro's arms.

"Hey, squish," She says," You're looking good."

"Caro!" You continue," Caro, cuddles, please!"

Caro takes you from a slightly put-out Ingrid's arms, bouncing you stiffly for a moment as you try to attach yourself to her.

It looks like Marta is trying to force herself not to coo at the sweet scene as you babble at Caro, rushing through everything that's happened in your life since you last saw her.

"This is so unfair," Ingrid complains as she sits down in her cubby, arms crossed over her chest as she watches longingly while you show off your new Barcelona shirt to Caro and Marta," I'm the one that she had the sleepover with. I can't believe she's gone to Caro...Again!"

"Again?" Pina snickers.

"Caro's her favourite at camp too," Ingrid continues," I don't understand how! I'm the one that always buys her new toys! I spoil her!"

"You're jealous of Caro because she's getting more attention from a child?"

"You don't understand, Jana," Ingrid says dismissively," Squish...Y/n...She's...She's such a little sweetheart and she's so nice and she has so much love to give."

"Mama says Caro has a soft spot for Maanums," You're telling Marta as you happily soak up the attention," And that if I'm scared at camp and can't find her or auntie Ingrid, I have to go to Caro because she's responsible and won't let anything happen to me."

Caro's face glows red at the statement and she tries not to meet the teasing eyes of her girlfriend.

"And you really like Caro a lot, huh?"

"Uh-huh! Caro is the best at cutting up my food small!"

"Really? What else is she good at?"

"She makes sure I'm wearing my hat when it's snowing at camp! And! And last camp, she took me to the vending machine to get cookies! But you can't tell my Mama because I wasn't meant to have any."

Marta laughs. "I won't." She grins at Caro, bumping her girlfriend with her hip. "I didn't know you were so good with kids."

"I'm not," Caro says stiffly," Just The Baby. She's cool."

"I think you're cool too, Caro!" You giggle.

Ingrid doesn't end up with custody of you again until after lunch when Caro goes off on a phone call and Ingrid can snatch you up again without anyone getting in the way.

You giggle as she litters kisses on your cheeks.

"There's my squish again!" Ingrid laughs," You came back to me!"

"Ingrid," You giggle, feet kicking out instinctively," I always come back!"

"Oh! I missed you so much!" She pulls you into a hug that you reciprocate quickly.

After Frida and Emma, you think Ingrid gives the best hugs. Even better hugs than Emma's dog Jordan and he's one of your favourite huggers in the world.

"And who's this little girl?"

"Alexia, this is my niece, y/n. Squish, this is Alexia, she's the captain of Barcelona."

You frown. "Like how Kim's the Arsenal captain?"

"Exactly like that."

You grin, face splitting open as you show off your dimples. "Hi, Spanish Kim! Oh...er...Ingrid...what was her name again?"

"Alexia."

"Hi, Alexia! It's nice to meet you."

Alexia can't help but smile as you hold your little hand out for her to shake.

"It's nice to meet you too, y/n. I didn't know Ingrid had a niece."

"She and my Mama are friends!" You explain," But we don't see each other a lot because I live in Sweden."

Alexia pulls up a chair, settling into it and leaning a bit closer so she can hear your properly.

"Really?"

"Yeah with Mummy and our dog Jordan. But then Mama brings me to Norway when I'm on camp so I can see Ingrid and Caro! They say I'm the team baby!"

Alexia laughs. "That sounds about right, you're still very little."

"I start school soon," You tell her, puffing out your chest," And Mapi told me last night that I'm a growing girl!"

Alexia nods along. "Of course you are! And you know what growing girls get in Barcelona?"

"No?" Your eyes go wide. "What do they get?"

"They get to choose things out of the vending machine!" Alexia tells you seriously as she offers her hand," Do you want to pick some stuff out with me?"

Ingrid sighs deeply as Mapi snickers. "Next time we get her for a sleepover, we're not coming into training the next day."

[whisperofwonder]

Wife Guy

The wife guys of Haikyuu

(The term does have some negative connotations but I don't mean it like that here. They're just some dudes who really love their wife. Cool? Cool.)

Featuring: Bokuto Koutarou, Iwaizumi Hajime, Sakusa Kiyoomi x wife!reader - ~300 words each

(if someone else needs to be here, tell me. I might write it.)

BOKUTO KOUTAROU

Come on. He's the ultimate unironic wife guy.

You, his wife, are the light of his life. He adores you. He doesn't shut up about you. Your friends and family know this, the Jackals definitely know this, even his fans know this because he can't resist posting about you even when the social media managers get on his case. The moment your name or the words "my wife" pass his lips, anyone within earshot knows that it's all over.

He never misses an opportunity to tell you how much he loves you. You need to know that, in his eyes, every little thing about you is perfect. Not only that, but he's a really touchy guy. He loves holding your hand, putting his arm around you, barraging you with kisses, any form of skin to skin contact with you. You and everyone around you have gotten used to the constant PDA over the years. He's just so pure and sweet about it that no one can even say a thing about it.

One of the things he loves about being a professional athlete is that it gives him the means to spoil you. Designer items, the latest tech, lush vacations, whatever it is that catches your eye, he's already got his credit card out. He's not trying to buy your love, he's showering you in his. No matter how often you insist that all you need to be happy is him, he can't resist a little treat every now and then.

The day you agreed to marry him was one of the best days of his life. Every time he takes notice of the ring on his finger, a little jolt of joy goes through him, even after all this time. The mere fact that he gets to spend the rest of his life loving you is simply unmatched.

IWAIZUMI HAJIME

There's a reason that Iwaizumi Hajime (27) Athletic Trainer is written as a knight in every single medieval AU. He's chivalrous, hard-working, and utterly devoted to his wife. He might be quieter about it, but his love for you is an undercurrent to everything. From the kiss pressed to your forehead when he gets up to start the day to the moment he pulls you against his chest in bed each night, there are a hundred little moments when he shows just how much you mean to him.

Most obvious to everyone around him is the small smile that comes across his face every single time he talks about you. "Oh, my wife picked it out." "Yeah, she did make this." "I'm taking her to dinner tonight, actually."

You will never walk closest to the street on his watch. Forgot your jacket? No you didn't, he tossed it in the back seat. When you're washing dishes after dinner, he's right there with the towel to dry. Craving ice cream at 10 pm? The corner store is only a few minutes walk for him, no it's no trouble, don't be ridiculous. It all just goes to show that he's constantly thinking of you - what you might need, what you might want, what might make you smile. If it's within his power, why wouldn't he do it for you? It's just inconceivable.

You make his life better. All he wants is to do the same for you. He might never say it out loud, but being married to you is the fairy tale life he hadn't dared to hope for. Spending every day by your side is enough to make him the happiest man in the world.

SAKUSA KIYOOMI

His wife is his person. The world is full of irritants, uncomfortable situations, people who rub him the wrong way. You are the one that soothes it all away. His safe space. Coming home to you every day feels like a weight sliding from his shoulders.

He took to the simple day-to-day of married life so well. Dating was never his scene. Truth be told, you've felt married long before he put a ring on your finger. Everyone says the pair of you are the token old married couple. He might scoff, but to him it's the best kind of compliment.

He takes real pride in the home you share together. It's a sacred place that deserves to be kept neat and clean and comfortable. No matter what kind of day he has, he'll always spend at least a little time making sure everything is running smoothly for you, keeping up with the small things that he knows make your life a little easier.

His favorite moments are the quiet ones you share together. When either of you has had a less than perfect day, it's an unspoken rule that you'll be spending the evening together, curled up in your own little world where nothing else matters. Nothing is more comforting to him than the feel of you in his arms, breathing in your familiar scent. Everything else simply melts away.

Marrying you was the easiest decision he's ever made. There was no alternative. In the course of his life, he knows that he's doing something right, because with you by his side, he knows he can face anything else that may come.

[nutmeggery]

I need Neil Gaiman to know that Good Omens 2 made me feel emotions I haven't felt in nearly a decade.

When I heard there was going to be a Good Omens 2 I was looking forward to it, of course. I just wasn't expecting it do anything super special to my emotions. I was sure I'd enjoy it, though. I really enjoyed s1.

But, for the last few years, I watched shows and afterwards basically thought well, that was fun, and I quickly moved on and didn't think much about them. There was only about 3 shows in the last 5 years that had made me feel truly emotional and stayed on my mind to the point where I felt like I needed to engage in fandom for a while. (Good Omens 1 was one of them.)

I wasn't spoiled by the leak. I never even knew there was a leak. So I had no idea what was coming in s2. And oh boy...

See, I'd watched Our Flag Means Death, a show where you don't expect the lead characters to kiss, because, well, that never happens in these types of shows, right? And this is important because when they did kiss, it felt like a door that had been locked with just about all the high security locks in the world had suddenly, inexplicably, been opened. Something switched inside me. It took me months to understand what it was, but when I thought about Good Omens before s2 came out, I realized what it was.

I would never truly enjoy a bromance they're-only-queer/in love-by-your-own-interpreation story ever again. Stories where nothing is confirmed, just subtext that anyone who doesn't want to see it can easily deny and mock those who wish it was more.

While it was clear that Crowley and Aziraphale cared a lot about each other in s1, and were probably in love, it was still just a fun ship for fans to play with in fanfiction and fanart. Do they love each other? Oh sure. In what way? Well, that's up to interpretation. Ok, cool. But it's not quite Our Flag Means Death, is it?

Then I watched Good Omens 2. And from episode 1 I saw my favourite Angel and Demon duo love each other. And I was having the best time. I hadn't had such a good time watching a show in a long while. It was not only right up my alley, it was an alley I wasn't even aware was my alley until I saw it. I enjoyed seeing the old characters, the new characters. Oh, I was wonderful.

It was clear to me that, of course Crowley and Aziraphale love each other, are IN love with each other, showing it in their own way. And I wasn't expecting it to be THIS obvious.

And then when the kiss happened, I couldn't believe it. I covered my mouth with both hands and gasped and sat up straight in my seat. I had never expected it--the heartbreak it added to the already heartbreaking scene--it rewired something inside me.

It was like my emotions had been locked up in a stall like a horse for so, so long, and now the gate had been opened, the stable door kicked down, and the horse was running out onto the large pasture into the daylight, bucking and kicking up grass. Oh my god, I have to take a few minutes to process that entire 6 hour marathon of emotions.

And by a few minutes I meant a few days.

More than a few, actually.

I didn't need a kiss to understand how much they loved each other, but I did need the kiss to understand how intense and heartbreaking their separation is for them after everything.

But more than that, the kiss broke a barrier. They really did it, I thought. They really dared.

Aziraphale and Crowley aren't human males, no, but they're played by male actors. And that is significant. That makes the kiss significant. In the world we currently live in.

Weeks later, I'm still obsessed with the show, re-watching s1 and 2, reading the book again, listening to the audio drama. And I'm on tumblr, seeing people's posts and art to somehow sate my hunger for a s3 that doesn't exist (yet).

And I'm having a wonderful time.

[shaunamilfman]

the ghost you dressed up as [5]

pairing: Jackie Taylor x Shauna Shipman x R summary: "You've decided that, maybe, murder isn't as bad as you thought it was. Especially if your girlfriends say please." note: discussion of violence masterlist

“... and that's when Shauna stabbed her in the shoulder and sent her down a flight of stairs,“ Jackie says excitedly, trailing her fingers absently up your arm as she regales you in the story of Casey's murder. She's so excited to tell you the story that you try not to cringe hearing the brutal death of your friend. You keep having to remind yourself that this is your girlfriend and not some true crime documentary.

“We never saw Jackie coming; she always had a nice thing to say about everyone,” They’d say.

There's an almost childlike eagerness on her face as she sets the scene, eyes bright and animated, like she can't wait to share every gruesome detail with you. “She screamed the first few steps, but then she got sort of quiet. I mean, the thudding was pretty loud, but I think she hit her head or something.” Jackie frowns at the memory, looking put out. How dare Casey pass out and spoil her fun. “God, and when Shauna started going down the stairs after her? She started clawing at the tiles to pull herself away. It was kind of sad, really, but you know…”

Jackie looks over her shoulder at Shauna affectionately. “You should've seen how Shauna just stood there watching. She didn't even flinch, all calm and stuff, as she did her little head tilt. You know the one?”

Jackie mimics the movement sloppily, an almost awkward exaggeration of Shauna's terrifying glare. She smiles widely at you as she lets it fall, like she's waiting for you to laugh. You nod slowly, forcing a smile to your face. 

“Yeah, I know the one,” You agree. 

It's not that the conversation is completely unexpected. Dating them has come with a host of morbid conversations–offers of murder seem to be how they show affection–but this was about someone who used to be your friend. It wasn't some abstract victim you barely liked like Allie or someone who you hated like Steven. Listening to Jackie talk about her last moments of utter agony made you feel sick. 

It hadn’t bothered you listening to how Allie or Steven died, or even Tatum. Jackie had described that one at length, going into every gorey detail like you hadn’t been there to see it yourself. You think you must know every word of that mocking phone call she’d had with Tatum before Tatum had finally dropped the phone in her fear. The shrill ring of the phone, the way her voice started so confident and turned broken and begging by the end, the way she’d cried at Jackie’s giggling taunts, how she broke down into sobs and begged for her life. You hadn’t minded listening, not really. It was sweet in a way, even if it sounds fucked up to admit, but there was always some sort of affection underlying everything they do.

The worst part is how unaware of it she seems, like it's just another cool adventure her and Shauna had without you. She'd even assured you a few days ago that they wouldn't leave you out of it the next time they “went out.” Like it was a date. 

Shauna seems vaguely amused about the whole thing, peering over Jackie at you as she lays behind her. She’s been half-watching you and half-listening to Jackie all night. Drifting in between her clear desire to go to sleep and Jackie’s desire for her to stay up and talk with her. Instead, just settling on listening in with her eyes barely open. Something has finally caught her attention, though, as she pokes at your hip with the arm she's got wrapped around Jackie, looking at you expectantly. 

“What?” You ask suddenly, squirming under their combined stare. 

“I asked if you were okay. You're not like mad or anything, right?” Jackie asks, frowning slightly. Her enthusiasm begins to dim at your lack of reaction, leaning forward to search your face for any sort of clue as to how you’re feeling. Even now she doesn’t seem to believe you’ll actually answer in the affirmative, looking at you with a quiet expectation that you'll reassure her–tell her, of course not. There's a genuine curiosity to the question, but you know what's underlying it. 

You can handle it, handle us, can't you? 

“It's just a lot to process,” You lie, trying to make your voice sound steadier than you feel. “I had no idea that you were doing all this for me.”

Jackie's positively beaming at your words, eating that lie right up. She rests herself head against your shoulder, nuzzling her face into the side of your neck as she peppers your skin in brief kisses. Either unaware or uncaring of how tense you'd been previously, but still managing to turn you into mush as you relax back into the sheets. It’s hard to stay upset for long when she’s so damn affectionate all the time, erasing all of your worries before you even realize you have them. Some part of her, however deep, must be aware. But when it comes down to it, how much do you really care?

Shauna looks unconvinced, like she can see at least somewhat through you, but she just absentmindedly rubs circles on Jackie's skin with her thumb. She’s more than content to let Jackie live in her delusional, wholeheartedly supporting most of it, but she won’t ever let you forget that she sees more than you want her to. There’s always something so horribly knowing about her. Always watching, always waiting. Her eyes linger where Jackie presses up against you, a glint of approval in her eyes. She’s pleased with what she’s seeing–the way Jackie clings to you, the way you allow it.

Jackie’s still oblivious, lips grazing your skin like she’s marking you as hers. You, in the brief moments you’d allowed your mind to drift there before you forced yourself to stop, had always imagined Shauna as the more possessive of the two. It was true, to some extent. She was certainly more outwardly possessive, more likely to start a fight with someone just for standing a little too close to you, as she’d done so many times with Jackie. It was like she was always on edge, just waiting for an excuse to unleash all that rage she had inside her. But Jackie was a different breed altogether.

Her need for your attention was constant, suffocating even at times. If she wasn’t in your direct line of sight, she would endeavor to be there as quickly as she could manage, as if you’d forget about her in the twenty minutes you were taking a shower. Her eyes scanned for you constantly, like a nervous animal looking for predators. As if she wasn’t the thing that goes bump in the night. She wasn’t as outwardly aggressive, but she was no less intense for it. The hunger that was always present, how she always needed more from you–your time, your affection, your focus–was almost more dangerous. 

“So you’ll come then, next time? Like you promised?” Jackie prompts lowly, her lips brushing against your skin with every word. Her fingers still trail lazy patterns up and down your arm, making it difficult to focus on anything that isn't her. Even as you turn your head to look, you find two pairs of eyes looking back at you: Jackie's hopeful eyes and Shauna's expectant gaze. 

“It wouldn't be the same without you,” Shauna adds, her expression neutral as she gauges your reaction. She may try to look uninterested, try to put on some air of indifference, but you know her too well to know that she's not ever capable of that. Beneath that forced calm she's watching intensely, desperate for some sort of reaction. 

You remember the way Shauna had looked at you covered in Tatums blood, smug and exhilarated but still so clearly nervous of your reaction. She expected you to react positively because she needed you to. It was as if she believed she could just will your approval into existence as long as she acted like she already had it. 

Shauna always got so blank in those moments, shutting herself down like she could stop your reaction from hurting her if she just pretended she didn't care. But Shauna always cared, to a fault even. She was so sensitive, so easily hurt, when you got down to it. Always so ready to read in too far over a simple twitch of your face. If you frown, if you hesitate too long, it's like she's already decided for you how you feel about it.

Jackie was the opposite: while Shauna withdrew, Jackie only clung even tighter. It has made your life complete and utter hell any time you've witnessed them get into a serious disagreement, watching as Shauna retreated to lick at her wounds while Jackie hopelessly chased after her. Every step she took only drove Shauna–who was intent on drowning herself in her anger–further away. Jackie never knew when to let go, and the more she pushed, the more Shauna pulled away. Like the world's most irritating game of tug-of-war. 

You can’t remember ever making that promise, not even hinting at it. Yet you find yourself agreeing anyway, nodding your head before you even realize what you're doing. How could you not? They made it so hard to disagree, so hard to deny them anything. You've accepted so much about them, been made complicit in their murder. At this point, you might as well just bite the bullet at join. 

“I'll be there,” You promise weakly. It feels inevitable, like there was never another choice for you to make. Really, haven't you been set on this path from the moment they sat across from you in the cafeteria? Before that, even, if you count the time they'd spent planning to make you theirs from afar. They've made you this way, haven't they? 

Someone who would say yes without thinking. Someone unable to leave even if you wanted to. 

Jackie squeals excitedly, her hands clasping yours and squeezing hard as she presses more losses against your shoulder. Shauna doesn't react right away, but you can't see the way her shoulders carefully start to relax. A pleased upturn of her lips as she snuggles further into Jackie. 

Their bodies fit together like puzzle pieces, as they always do, but you don't feel left out anymore. You're a part of it now, even if it took you a while to realize. No longer tiptoeing around their bond like you've spent so much of your time doing. 

Not a spectator, but an integral part of it. 

…

You’re the last one out of the classroom, which is probably the only reason it happened to begin with. Deep in thought about the murder you were now expected to join in with, you hadn’t noticed that the bell had rung to dismiss you from class. Your classmates certainly had, a fact you’re made aware of as the door slams behind the last straggler as he slips out the door. It startles you out of your thoughts, a quick glance around the room telling you what you’ve noticed embarrassingly late.

You stuff your things back into your bag, cursing under your breath and not even bothering to slip your papers into folders–Jackie will probably do it herself whenever she so helpfully goes through your bag for you. It definitely has nothing to do with her wanting to go through your stuff. How generous of her, really. You can already imagine the look she’ll give you: that half-fond and half-exasperated look she gives whenever she thinks you're being careless. 

No, you’d much rather catch up with your girlfriends after class before Jackie calls the national guard. 

The sound of your teacher calling out your name forces you to come to a stop with your hand hovering over the handle. You can just barely catch Shauna’s eyes as she leans against a locker across the hall, looking curiously back at you. It takes everything in you not to react, the interruption raising hell for your already frayed nerves. You pause, considering what would actually happen if you just opened the door and left anyway, before clenching your jaw and reluctantly turning around.

“Mrs. Loomis,” You acknowledge, trying not to let your irritation show. The sooner you get this over with, the sooner you leave. Your hand flexes around the strap of your back, fiddling idly with the end.

Her smile is as strained as you feel, the kind you pull when you should be smiling, but you’re really just uncomfortable and trying not to let the other person know. The pursed lips and the lingering tension around her eyes as she forces a smile does more to project her mood than if she hadn’t bothered to smile at all.

“How are you doing?” She asks, trying to seem kind. Maybe it would’ve been, if not for how cautious it sounded. Careful, even, like she was talking to something about to bite her. You catch the way her eyes flick nervously up and down your figure, darting back to the door just as quickly. She seems just as eager as you are to leave, and it makes you wonder why she had bothered to stop you at all.

How are you doing? Like she has some kind of right to ask that of you? A bitter feeling wells up in your chest, as much as you try to push it down. She, of all people, should know. You haven’t forgotten the way she looked at you when the cops had first shown up to interview you–the way she’d turned you over to them without a shred of hesitation on her part. None of the concern she seems to possess in droves now. Mrs. Loomis hadn’t even had the decency to tell your classmates off for their whispering, pretending not to see whenever you’d given her a desperate look on a particularly brutal day.

All she ever offered you was silence. It wasn’t her problem, was it?

No, you’ve seen that look before. A concern that’s really just poorly veiled suspicion, when they’re too afraid to confront you about whatever they think they know about you. Far too cowardly to come out and ask you directly.

“I’m fine,” You say stiffly, almost cutting her off. It wouldn’t matter what she had to say to you anyway. You were passed the days of wanting her to help you.

“How are those girls you hang out with?” She asks, leaning back against her desk with a move that she clearly thinks looks casual. You can almost see the gears turning in her head as she picks her angle.

“Fine.” Your eyes drift unbidden back to the door, knowing the two of them must still be waiting for you in the hall. The thought fills you with an equal mix of comfort in dread, burdened by the weight of their secret–your secret, soon enough. Mrs. Loomis doesn’t miss the shift in your attention, suddenly standing up straighter as she refocuses.

“It's just…” She trails off, clasping her hands in front of her. It’s like she knows she’s going somewhere she shouldn’t, but she’s too curious–or worried–to stop herself. “How well do you think you know them?”

Your eyes narrow, suspicion flaring hot in your chest. The question lands with all the subtlety of a punch in the face, immediately putting you on edge as you start to size her up. You hadn’t expected this line of questioning in the slightest, and you don’t at all appreciate the insinuation in her voice. How dare she sit here and point fingers at things she doesn’t understand when she’s spent so long turning her back on you.

“What's that supposed to mean?”

She doesn’t flinch, which surprises you, but there’s a flicker of something in her eyes. Fear or surprise–you’re not sure, but you know you don’t like it. Whatever it is, she quickly tries to mask it with another fake smile, the same tight-lipped smile she gave you as your life fell apart.

“I just wonder if you’ve considered what sort of influence they’ve been having on you. You’ve been different since you started hanging off of them.” You don’t like the way she says that, not one bit. The almost condescending way she says it, hanging off of them, like you were some sort of leach. Like your presence was somehow unwanted. Or maybe she meant it a different way. Maybe she was just insinuating that it was a phase, that you were somehow falling into the wrong crowd.

Each word is chosen carefully, each designed to seem as unthreatening as possible, but the warning is clear in her voice. The insinuation cuts deep, sending a wave of panic through your body even as you try to remain unaffected.

What does she know? Or, rather, what does she think she knows? Half truths and suspicions can be deadly in the wrong hands. You of all people were aware of how deep they could cut if wielded correctly. Mrs. Loomis was playing with fire, but you don’t think she realized.

It takes a concentrated effort to keep the nerves out of your voice as you say, “They’re my friends.” It’s not quite as certain as you’d like it to be, but that could work in your favor if only you could play it correctly. Trying to dance around accusations wasn’t your strong suit, not by far. She doesn’t buy it, you can tell.

Maybe it’s because it’s not entirely true, not anymore. Mrs. Loomis has picked up on something in your voice, but you doubt that it’s the truth. She hears your hesitation on the word friends and draws the wrong conclusion from it. She thinks that you have reasons to doubt their affection, that you could doubt their loyalty over something as simple as her words. It isn’t doubt that makes you falter–it’s the memory of hands on your skin, of kisses, and so much more shared in the dark. 

Jackie and Shauna–they’re so much more than your friends. They’ve pulled you into their mess, into their darkness, and you’ve let them. You’ve had so many times to dig your feet in, even if it wouldn’t have ultimately made a difference, but again and again you’ve let yourself be moved with the current. Maybe you’ve always wanted it. Needed it, even.

“Sometimes people we think are friends aren’t looking out for our best interests,” Mrs. Loomis says slowly, a pitying smile crossing her face. It makes you feel so small and insignificant. “You’ll learn that when you’re older.”

Falling in with the wrong crowd, then. What had she noticed? A small part of you wants to scream, to ask her why now. Why not when you needed someone, anyone, to believe you? It’s too late now–for you and for her. 

You knew Shauna would want to do something about her, that this insult couldn’t go unanswered. Especially when she was already on the prowl for someone else. It was so pathetic that she had even dared to try, meddling in what she would never understand. Whatever she thinks she knows–whatever scraps of truth she’s managed to put together from idle gossip she upholds as truth–couldn’t be close to the reality of it.

“It’s awful, what’s been happening to you. I believe you’re innocent, but those girls are no good. You should see the way they look at you. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think...” There’s a finality to her words, like she’s already decided the ending and has written it for you. Even now she doesn’t even bother to offer you help, offering a few half-hearted words of wisdom and expecting you to do all the work of fixing it. She’s judging you again. That’s all this is in the end.

Your hands clench tightly into fists by your side, almost shaking with the effort not to start yelling. You can feel your fingernails digging into your skin hard enough that you start to worry you’ll draw blood. Wouldn’t that be embarrassing, you think bitterly. Letting her know that she could ever get to you. You hate this: the way she talks to you like you’re some child.

More than anything, you hate how small it makes you feel. Weak. Helpless. And maybe that’s why you keep wondering what Shauna would do about it. What Jackie would want to do, what she would help you do. You run through the scenarios in your mind, each one more gory than the last. The thoughts of bloodshed are the only things that manage to calm you, finally allowing you to give Mrs. Loomis a stiff nod. 

Wouldn’t it just be so easy to handle it their way for once? Your way, ignoring it and hoping things changed, hadn’t been all that effective lately. You’ve taken the high road for months on end and have nothing left to show for it.

Jackie greets you the second you step out of the door, hands pressing against your shoulders in a way that would have you anxiously glancing around the hall if you didn’t already know it was empty. She pulls you forward by the straps of your bag, pressing a kiss against your cheek in full view of that tiny door window. You wonder if Mrs. Loomis saw, but decided that she must’ve. You’d easily seen Shauna from where you were standing, and you knew your teacher was probably going out of her way to look. You couldn’t find it in yourself to care, not this time.

Even Shauna notices that fact.

“Forget to do your homework?” Shauna asks, lips pursed tight. She, of course, already knew that wasn’t true. It was obvious she didn’t have the skill of subtlety that Jackie so often used to dance around the question, but you appreciated the bluntness of it all. She doesn’t say it in so many words, but you feel it in your bones nonetheless. What did she want with you? 

“It seems you’re quite the topic of discussion lately,” you say dryly.

Shauna hums. “Is that right?”

It’s easier this way, to get ahead of it.

Jackie doesn’t pull away, her thumbs rubbing thoughtful circles against your shoulders as her grip tightens around the strap of your bag. “What did she say?”

“Asked me how well I knew you. Insinuated that she thought I was falling into the wrong crowd. That I was just hanging off you.” You don’t bother to hide the bitterness in your voice. Why should you? Not when they would understand, when they would spark your ire into a burning fire. You want them to.

Shauna goes absolutely rigid, her mind racing as she looks between the two of you. “She doesn’t know anything.” It’s both a statement and a question, like she isn’t quite sure herself.

“No,” you agree. “But she thinks she does.”

“She’ll be watching,” Jackie adds thoughtfully. The word lingers long after it leaves her lips, heavy with implication.

[paulyenvol6]

At your mercy (Part 1)

Based on this request

I wrote so much that I decided to split the story into two parts so this is part 1 and part two will probably be out tomorrow. Also, thank you so much to the person that requested this, I really love the concept and I hope you're happy with it too. I feel like I drifted away a little and Daemon is more like mean and soft dom rather than only soft dom but I hope that's fine :)

Contains: smut, chain play, kissing, touching, breast/nipple play, possessiveness, soft & mean dom Daemon

Wordcount: ~4.28k

Masterlist

You had only been gone for four days and already missed Daemon which, when you thought about it made sense.

You obviously had been spoiled these past months with him being by your side every second because now, standing in the streets of Pentos, your home, you couldn't help but miss your real home, Daemon. But you knew that it wouldn't be long until you saw him again and you were also genuinely happy to be back in the place you were born. All these familiar scents and colours that you simply didn't smell and see in King's Landing.

The streets were crowded with merchants and salesmen, common people, whores and little children all shouting and screaming so they could be heard. That was one of the things that you missed in King's Landing because though similar scenes took place in the streets of the capital, you, as the king's brother's betrothal, were not supposed to interact with the small folk in the streets. It was too dangerous.

Even now you were accompanied by two of your handmaidens, four knights and your travel compagnion Ygor to guide and protect you. Daemon had insisted on it even after you had told him that you knew the city better than King's Landing and any other place in the world and had said that one knight should be enough.

But now there you were, strolling through the streets with your little group of people. You had come to Pentos to discuss some details for your wedding gown and that was already almost done now. A young, meereenese tailor had presented the magnificant rosé dress to you and your jaw had dropped. This had been one of your wishes for your wedding. You wanted to be dressed in traditional Pentoshi clothing and of course Daemon had granted you this wish. And though it took some effort to have one of the finest tailors in Essos to design your wedding gown, of course the crown had been able to instruct it and when you had laid your eyes on the dress you knew that everything was worth it.

It was lovely with its wide sleeves and the lace covering parts of its front and your arms. It fell down in several layers and had your neck and shoulders exposed. You just hadn't been able to stop thinking about what Daemon would say when he saw you in that dress for the first time and it made your heart flutter.

But now all of that was finished, the nice tailor had written down the little changes that you desired and you had told your travel company your wish to stroll through the city. It was burning hot, way hotter than it was in the capital and you were happy about the umbrella that your handmaidens held over your head in order to protect you from the sun.

You saw little children desperately licking up the last drops of water in their cups, elders fanning themselves with wind and goats crouching against the cool stoney walls in an attempt to escape the sun. Your eyes picked up everything and you were almost not fast enough to notice the different scenes happening in front of you. Memories from long ago came back to your mind when you remembered yourself right here. You were of noble birth so of course you hadn't spent your time on the ground with other small folk children but you had always enjoyed joining your maids when they had needed to make a trip into the city.

Suddenly your attention was drawn to a fair on the other side of the street and you stopped. The building was beautiful and it seemed like the place was crowded with people coming and going.

"I would like to see that fair.", you said turning around to Ygor and he nodded. "Of course, princess."

So it was decided that two of your knights would come with you and the rest would wait outside as it was so crowded that you would probably loose them in the there anyway. You were excited to see what the fair was selling and jingled the coins in your pockets. You really wanted to buy something for Daemon to surprise him when you came back. Perhaps some exotic food or a nice scarf?

You calmly moved through the crowd and saw merchants shouting louder than the other. They wanted to sell their stuff and weren't afraid to brag with promises about their products. But your eyes wandered to a small tent where fewer people were standing. The scent of roses and sandalwood filled your nose and you were drawn to it so you slowly walked to it and pulled the drape to the side so you could enter the tent while your guards waited outside.

"Gevie riña, byka riña, rytsas." (Beautiful girl, little lady, welcome.), the saleswoman shouted when she saw you enter.

"Sȳz tubis" (Good day), you answered with a friendly nod.

"Or do you speak the common tongue, my lady?", the saleswoman then asked with a little accent, perhaps seeing in your clothes and jewelery that you didn't live in Pentos.

"I speak the common tongue as well.", you said.

"That's good. I'm from Myr and I can't understand the low valyrian spoken here." You nodded and smiled and then started to look around in the tent.

"What are you selling?", you asked your eyes on all the little bottles and cans that stood on shelfs or tables.

"Whatever it is you desire, my lady. Candles, oils, jewelery, erotic products."

Your eyes met hers and you felt butterflies in your stomach. Mayhaps you could find your betrothed a little gift in here.

"Come, pretty lady. What scents do you like? I have jasmine candles, lavender oil, that's very good for the skin. Or do you want a towel made of the finest cotton your skin ever touched."

You were overwhelmed with the saleswoman's fast tongue and tried to keep up with all the products she offered you. At last you chose a champaca oil for the hair because you knew how much Daemon liked the scent. And you additionally decided to buy a bottle of sandalwood perfume, a jar of lip balsam and a candle that smelled of honey and awoke a hunger for banana bread in you. The kind saleswoman wouldn't stop talking and you couldn't stop smirking while listening to her flood of words. But in the end you were content and strolled through the tent to see the corners with jars and bottles and etiquettes so small one almost couldn't read what it said.

You halted by a shelf with chains and raised your eyebrows. Something about them interested you and you examined the shiny metal. It felt cold in your hand, a contrast to the burning heat and the mixture of all the different smells that made your head dizzy. The chains felt good in your hand and you let your finger run over the coldness. You didn't exactly know why but suddenly you felt like buying one. You were in a good mood and something about them excited you and it made your insides flutter when you thought about one of them in Daemon's hand… and feeling the coldness on your skin. You decided to take one and chose a pretty silver one that was one of the longest. The saleswoman was pleased to see that you had once again found something to your liking and took the chain from your hands to put it in a beautiful velvet box. But before she closed the cover you cleared your throat.

"Could you…", you began and the woman raised her gaze. "Could you personalize it?", you asked while feeling the heat in your cheeks because the thought that had just entered your brain made you feel aroused.

"Of course, pretty lady. What would you like to have on it?" You reached inside your pocket and quickly found what you were looking for.

"This."

It was a pendant with a dragon on it. Daemon had gifted it to you back when you had only known him for a few moons and ever since that day you had always kept it close to you. Now you thought it was time to have the pendant on a chain so you could wear it around your neck or your body with his pendant always on your skin. The saleswoman smiled friendly and took the pendant that you had offered her.

"Of course. No problem. You can get the chain in two days, until then it should be done."

You thanked her, paid her and now finally wanted to leave but yet again when you walked towards the entrace you stopped. You hadn't seen this part of the tent because it was right next to the exit and you hadn't looked to your right when you had entered. There was a small shelf with rings of silver and gold that reflected the light that shone through the entrance. You frowned and turned around to the saleswoman.

"What are those?", you asked and she swiftly came forward.

"They are decoration for a woman's body, my lady. You wear them on all your most initmate parts to feel everything thrice as much." You blushed hearing her words but grew interested. "You can wear them on your lips or nose or ears but also on your nipples and between your legs. A man will find himself pleased with the jewellery embellishing the woman's body but what he doesn't know is that she feels everything so much more intense."

You raised your eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

"It leaves you breathless. Gives you pleasure and overtakes all your senses. Everything you have ever enjoyed, you will enjoy even more with these rings on."

You gulped and felt a little anxious but curious at the same time. The thought of having a ring pierced through your sensitive nipples scared you but what she had described sounded exciting. And yet you decided to leave. You had already bought so many things and finally wanted to get back to the mansion you were staying in to rest and drink some water. That's why you smiled, said goodbye once more and walked out to meet with your guards. All the way back you felt flushed and fussy, not only becaus e of the chain you had purchased but because you still thought about these mysterious little rings…

~~~~~~~~~~

As you had promised, two days later you found yourself in the mysterious little tent of the saleswoman again to pick up your chain. She was in a good mood and raved about how pretty the chain looked with the pendant and you were happy when she handed it over to you. You had been nervous to come back here not because you felt uncomfortable but because you were in the same room as the little rings that you hadn't been able to abandon from your mind these past days. What the woman had described had left you curious and aroused and you had caught your thoughts drifting to them over and over again. The merchandiser had seemingly noticed your interest as well because she followed your gaze and smiled softly.

"You can try one.", she said and your eyes shot to her.

"What?"

"I'm sure they would look pretty on you, my lady." You chuckled and nervously toyed with your fingers.

"I don't know… Doesn't it hurt?"

The woman shrugged. "Perhaps. But perhaps it is worth it."

You thought about it and chewed on your lower lip. You would definitely like to try but… what if it was too uncomfortable? Or what if Daemon didn't like it? The saleswoman watched you while you were deep in thoughts and then grabbed your hand to pull you closer to the shelf with the rings.

"Gold would look magnificant on your brown skin, pretty lady.", she said. "You should try it. I've never met a man who didn't like to see his lady decorated like a princess."

You grinned and let her guide your fingers to touch one of the rings. You watched them for a while and then straightened up.

"Alright. I should like to try."

"Wonderful.", the saleswoman smirked. "Lysiros!", she shouted and seconds later a young man with thick brown hair entered the tent from a back entrace.

"Skoros iksis ziry?" (What is it?)

"This lovely young lady would like to have a ring on her…?"

You anxiously lowered your gaze. "Nipples.", you mumbled and the saleswoman smiled widely with lifted eyebrows. "So be it."

And so the woman's assistant who turned out to be a very kind and soft man pierced both your nipples with two pretty gold rings. It only slightly hurt and you were thrilled when you watched yourself in the mirror.

"Are you happy, pretty lady?", the saleswoman said when she watched your reflection.

"Yes. Very.", you said feeling delighted and couldn't wait for your betrothed to see it. You wanted to see his eyes when they wandered down your body and how they changed their colour every time he felt lustful. Just the mere thought of him made you slightly press your legs together and so after you had paid for the rings the only thing in your head for the rest of the day was Daemon.

~~~~~~~~~~

It was two days later when your travel company and you set sails for King's Landing and by now you missed Daemon so much that you wished he could just come and get you on his dragon so you were united again. But you had no choice but to daydream about him during the four days it took to sail from Pentos to King's Landing and when you finally stepped on Westerosi ground again excitement and joy were controlling your senses. It was evening already and your head raced as you thought about where Daemon might be and you came to the conclusion that he probably already was in his chambers. So you sent your servants to bring your things to your room. The things you had bought from the saleswoman in the fair though you took with you as you made your way up the many stairs to the red keep.

The corridors were dimmed and not a lot of people except guards strolled through the halls. You almost tripped from your excitement and hoped that you might be able to catch him off guard while he took a bath so you sneakily opened the door to his chambers and quietly made your way inside. You saw his clothes on a shelf next to the curtain that separated the room from another part of it in which the bathtub was so you knew that you had been right. Now you just had to quietly take off your clothes and then you could surprise him…

"Hello?", you suddenly heard him say loudly and you freezed. This hadn't exactly worked and you sighed. But quickly you were filled with happiness again because he was there and you could see him now finally. You swiftly walked to the curtain and pulled it to the side.

"Good evening, betrothed.", you smirked as Daemon looked up to you and smiled when he recognized you.

"My love.", he sighed and you swiftly hasted to him to wrap your arm around his head and press kisses to his wet head.

"I've missed you so much.", you complained and he reached up to wrap his arms around your back.

"Come join me please.", he said and you chewed on your lower lip. You had wanted to surprise him with the rings on your nipples but right now felt too nervous to reveal them yet. You wanted to enjoy some time with him first and only then present to him what you had done. So you nodded and stripped in front of him but let your undergarments on.

The Rogue Prince frowned when he realized what you were doing and raised his hand.

"What is this?", he said commanding and you gave him your best puppy eyes.

"I want to leave it on."

"Why?" You just shook your head and he suspiciously watched you with small eyes.

"I just feel like it.", you eventually whispered and Daemon exhaled but lowered his hand.

"Fine. Come here now." He made some space between his legs and you carefully entered the tub and sat with your back against his chest. He immediately wrapped his arms around your body to press you close to him and you just hoped he wouldn't feel the rings yet. Daemon buried his face in your black hair and inhaled your scent.

"Gods. I missed you, little one." You smiled and let yourself rest against him. The both of you closed your eyes and just enjoyed the moment until he opened his mouth.

"How was your trip, love?"

"It was good. But it would've been better with you." Daemon kissed the back of your head. "I know."

"The wedding gown is lovely though. I can't wait for you to see it." You felt him run his hand over your thighs and he smiled against your hair.

"I'm sure you'll look breathtaking."

"What did you do while I was gone?"

Daemon sighed. "Nothing much. I went on a hunt with Viserys." You slightly turned your head so your cheek was resting on his chest. "Really?"

"Yes. It was nice." You smiled widely. "It's good that you're bonding again."

Daemon hummed and closed his eyes while caressing the skin he could reach with your undergarments on. After a few more minutes you thought that it was time to show him your gifts and you straightened up in his lap which he commented with a grunt.

"I have a surprise for you.", you whispered and couldn't hide the smile on your face.

"What surprise?", he asked and opened his right eye.

"Come on. I'll show you."

So the two of you left the bathtub and Daemon caringly wrapped a towel around your dripping body and then one around himself. You slightly turned away from him as you took your soaked undergarments off so you were bare underneath the cotton towel. Then as Daemon had dried his body you walked to the box of things you had purchased at the fair. Your betrothed, only covered with a towel around his hips, followed you and took his seat on the bed.

"Well", you started. "I've bought a candle." You presented the item to him and Daemon smirked and grabbed it.

"Honey.", he said and you nodded. "And I bought a perfume and an oil for my hair and some balsam for my lips."

You showed each box and jar to Daemon who examined it closely and then put it on the table.

"Very nice.", he then said in the end and you smirked mischievously.

"And I have something else.", you whispered quietly and Daemon watched you with small eyes. You grabbed the pretty velvet box and handed it to him. "Open it.", you spoke and he smirked. "Alright."

He did and his eyes slowly wandered to your flushed skin after he had laid his eyes on the chain. There was something like surprise in his eyes and as if he wanted to ask you if you really wanted this.

"I want you to use it on me.", you whispered and came a step closer to him. Daemon's eyes darkened and he ran his hand over the chain and then the pendant. "I want to wear it. I want to wear your pendant on my skin. Because I'm yours."

He let out a little chuckle as he observed the chain once more and then reached out to grab your hips and pull you towards him. But there was one more thing for him so you put your hands on his' and stopped him.

"Wait.", you breathed and his eyes met yours.

"Why? I want you.", he hissed and you felt goosebumps on your arms. "Just wait, Daemon." He let go of you and you took a step back again. A smile was drawn to your face as you rested your hands on the towel wrapped around your body.

"I have one more surprise for you. And I hope you'll like it." Daemon's eyes flashed and he slightly leaned back with a smug look on his face.

"I don't think anything could hide underneath this that I couldn't like."

Slowly you removed the towel from your body and his gaze dropped to wander over your body. As you had expected it Daemon stopped at your nipples and at first you couldn't read his expression. Then he started to smirk, put the box with the chain next to him and patted his thigh.

"Come here." You obeyed him and walked to him with wobbly knees. Daemon adjusted you on his lap while keeping his eyes on your breasts all the time. Now his face was exactly the right height to examine your dark nipples that were decorated with two small gold rings.

"Pretty.", he whispered with small eyes and you felt butterflies in your stomach. He slowly ran a finger over your right nipple and slightly flicked the ring which made you hiss. They were still fresh and your nipples were even more vulnerable to his touch.

"A bit sensitive, aren't we?" You blushed from the excitement as Daemon traced the outlines of your nipples but then looked at your face again.

"Did it hurt? Getting them pierced?" You shook your head. "Not a lot. The saleswoman's assistent was very careful. He even – "

"He?", Daemon suddenly asked with lifted eyebrows. There was a frown on his face and you quickly shook your head.

"No, don't worry. He didn't do anything inappropriate." But Daemon clearly was angry as his touch on the side of your breasts became more rough.

"I don't like when another man sees what's mine. Makes me very angry.", he whispered threatingly and you once again shook your head.

"I swear it to you, Daemon. He was professional and there wasn't one wrong look." But your betrothed had clearly already made up his mind and possessively wrapped his left arm around your back.

"Next time someone touches you I'll cut their hands off. And if someone lays their eyes on you for too long I'll carve their fucking eyes out." Then he softly pulled at the left nipple ring which made you twitch on his lap.

"Mhmm.", you hummed and Daemon was delighted by watching your reactions. He flicked it to the side and then lowered his head to circle your nipple with his tongue and move the ring around. The feeling was incredible and you realized that the saleswoman hadn't exaggerated with her words. Everything was so much more intense and you were extremely sensitive around your nipples. It was a mixture of pain and pleasure and that was exactly what you loved and couldn't get enough of.

Daemon grew more eager with his touch and after a while he picked you up with one strong arm and threw you on the bed. Without giving you any time to adjust yourself he crawled to lay on top of you and placed his legs between yours. He lowered his head once again and devoured your left nipple while his hand took care of the other.

"I really like your surprises, sweet girl.", he growled and you happily buried your hand in his hair. "You're not gonna be able to do anything after I'm done with you. You don't know what you have done with showing me these things."

You pressed your core against him in anticipation and moaned when his finger pulled at the ring on your nipple. Then he started to massage your whole breast and the coldness of the rings on his fingers felt amazing. And the way they clinged against your piercings every now and then…. You already felt sore on your nipples and they were swollen from his mouth on you but neither of you cared. You let him savour your skin and he was like a wild animal claiming his prey.

After a while Daemon stopped and lifted his head. You watched him curiously to see what he would do next and felt yourself blush when he reached to the box to take the chain. He held it in his hand and examined the dragon pendant with great pleasure and then turned to you again. Daemon rested himself on top of you again and put the chain on your collarbone. The coldness made you twitch and he slowly dragged it over your body.

"What should I do with this, mhm? I could tie you up against the headboard, would you like that? I think the chain would do nicely to keep my precious girl under my control." You felt the heat between your legs and wished he would do something about it. But Daemon just pulled the chain higher until the pendant glistened on your neck. "Or I could choke you with it until you cry for me to stop. Would you like that?"

You nodded with wide eyes and felt yourself getting deeper and deeper into subspace. Next, the chain was over your mouth and Daemon ran the little dragon over your partly opened lips with lustful eyes. "Or I'll gag you with it. So I can make sure you'll behave and I don't have to listen to your complains." Your eyes fluttered and your hands helplessly clung to him.

"Please. Do whatever you like.", you whispered and felt how soaked you already were between your legs.

"I will, sweet girl.", he purred.

[piracytheorist]

I am once again emotional by the thought that Twilight has been an unsung hero in all his years working as a spy, has accepted that and doesn't expect to get any recognition by it, but that recognition will come in a way he never could have imagined: his daughter's love.

Because Anya loves him and chose to stay with him because he's her hero, the one who fights to create a world where she and other children can be safe and happy.

I feel it's a different dynamic than with Yor because Anya didn't choose her because she thought what Yor did was the right thing; she mostly found her cool and exciting, and it was after Yor showed her protective side that Anya trusted her. With Yor it's more direct, because if anything it's been Yor that has directly saved Anya. Twilight's methods are more secretive and even detached and as far as he knows, Anya doesn't know anything about those.

So while I believe Yor will be touched to realize that Anya trusted her despite her dangerous work, it won't be a grand shock to her because she knows that Anya knows she's been saved by her - and it's how Loid convinced her he values Yor in the family, in the bench scene. It will still be an important moment, which will solidify (either immediately or slowly) in her the thought that she is worthy of love and of her place in the family. Yor has received recognition for her self-sacrifice and protectiveness (especially during the years through Yuri's adoration of her), even though it's for her direct actions and not her assassin work. Her direct actions were still her honest self, so I think post-reveals it will be more reassuring to her that Anya loves her despite her dark secrets. It will be more grounding than ground-breaking. After all, it was the hope of acknowledgement that pushed her through in the last battle in the Cruise Arc.

For Twilight it will be shocking, because as far as he knows, no civilian knows of his achievements. The SSS and other criminal organizations that know of him hate him, and WISE values him only for his "material" use. In his mind, Anya knows nothing of all he's done to protect her, either directly or indirectly. But to learn that Anya loves him for his very core reason to become a spy? To see that not only she knows, not only she values him, but values him for his principles and his character?

Like, I feel that especially because his motivation is to create a world where children don't cry, having a child see that and call him her hero is what will shake his world. He does get recognized. He is valued for who he is and not what he can offer. Those are things he deprived himself of for so long, and he'll receive them from an innocent child who knows him better than anyone ever will.

(anime only fan here, don't spoil me for the manga)

[jade-len]

so today i tricked my very straight male friend into reading svsss.

okay look, i wasn't planning to at first and it's not like it was completely my fault. he wanted to read it!

i was showing him how badly they fucked up mu qingfang in the donghua by comparing it to the english novel design (he said that mu qingfang went from looking like a soft dilf to a predator registered on the epstein island list). and then, i showed him how different some of the other character designs were like gongyi xiao's ("he looks like he'd be a genshin character" -friend, to eng novel design) and luo binghe's ("lowkey, he kinda gives airbender vibes" -friend, to bunhe eng novel design)

so that was all i was gonna show him, nothing else. but after seeing them, he goes, "these designs actually look hella cool. what's the book called?"

now, do i:

A. tell him the name, eventually revealing that it's a danmei when he looks it up?

B. just straight up tell him that it's a danmei?

C: don't tell him the name just yet, spill the summary, get him interested, and tell him to not search anything up about it because there's heavy spoilers and it will reveal them the moment he types it up on the search bar

i go with C, obviously.

me: so, basically, some guy named shen yuan transmigrates into an incel harem male power fantasy novel where the protagonist, luo binghe, has hundreds of wives. thing is though, the guy pretty much took over the body of binghe's teacher he had when he was a teenager, who turns out to be a really scummy dude. and now he has to be nice to him so that the protagonist doesn't rip off his limbs and put him into a pickle pot in the future to suffer for eternity.

friend: that sounds hilarious and horrifying at the same time.

me: yes it is, and you should read it. it's like. my favorite novel at the moment. but don't search up anything about it because people spoil that shit. i'll let you borrow my novel

friend: nah don't worry, i'll just pirate it

friend: wait. does it have pictures?

me, my plan coming together: yeah, it has pictures. buuut, when you pirate it, it doesn't. trust me dude, i tried and was severely disappointed. plus, the physical copy is so much better

friend: fuck yeah ok thanks

me: hold on though. i'll text you later to see if my friend who's borrowing it rn is done reading it

he's hyped. he's excited. he craves a good book and a good transmigration interpretation. he's especially happy about the fact that it takes place in a chinese setting with cool powers and an actual good main character. "this sounds so good, god i wanna read it so bad."

i tell him that binghe is actually adorable, too. that it's pretty much found family! my friend then asks if shen yuan adopts him and becomes a father figure or something.

and i said "yes". you know, like a liar. (the father figure part probably isn't a lie though)

now i'm gonna give him the novel tomorrow! of course, i'm gonna cover the chapter 2 bunhe sexual awakening scene with washi tape and say that my baby cousin (sorry baby cousin, you would never <\3) scribbled all over that paragraph with her markers, and since i'm a neat book freak, i put washi tape and just wrote the scene! i don't know if that's really all too believable, but he didn't seem to care that much. just a simple "if my baby cousin did that to my book i would punt them into the sun"

i think what'll be more hilarious is the fact that you can't really tell that svsss is a BL. especially not volume 1. there's like, only a few lines indicating, but if you remove the baby binghe sexual awakening scene then you probably won't be able to know (...if you don't really read romance or anything. idk he's kinda dense anyways). so let's hope he gets attached and has a slow descent into the homo before i drop svsss vol 2 on him!

ok anyways i'll update you guys later with a reblog. maybe in about two or three days lol

(also don't worry, we already fuck around with each other on a daily basis like this. he's already tricked me into reading some manga i was unprepared for, and i thought that it'd be funny to mess around with him using svsss this time lol)

[ruleroftheimps]

I'm just going to throw this out here. Vox only seems as weak as he does because of his role in season one. All the Vees had a scene where they lost control and were just honestly pathetic, and a scene where they were cool and collected, but because of how it's set up, it looks like people completely overlook Velvette being pathetic and focus on Vox's patheticness. Which is fun to play around with, but I feel like a lot of people just don't acknowledge he's, in theory, a fairly decent threat, especially against the Hazbin Hotel. There's definitely going to be a reason he's one of the main antagonists.

It's sort of long, so cut here lol.

For starters, to back up my claim of they were all pathetic at some point, when we first meet Velvette, she's throwing a hissy fit about Val. He's literally right there, and yet she can't be assed to do anything about it and instead calls Vox to solve her problems for her, and then complains about Val ripping apart her models, despite her not doing anything. People love to riff on Val and Vox for being man children, which, yes, they are at times, but they completely disregard the fact that when we first meet Velvette, she's acting like a spoiled brat. Valentino is the same, throwing a fit about Angel Dust. They're all equally pathetic.

The thing is, Velvette and Valentino were glossed over fairly quick. Vox had a whole song about it.

The same thing about them all being equally cunning and collected, which I actually doubt myself. I think Vox is the most collected of them all, not Velvette. Yes, he did the same, basically had a temper tantrum when he found out Alastor came back, but it makes logical sense when we look at their interaction later and Vox is scared of him. He's worried. But once he calms down, he sits down and comes up with a plan that's actually very logical and well-thought out. Er, to some extent. Picking Pentious probably wasn't the greatest, but I think, based on the drones we see everywhere later on and his reaction to Pentious getting caught, Vox wasn't taking Valentino's idea of putting a spy in the hotel seriously. He's nonchalant, and has a backup plan. And the way he handled the paparazzi is a sign that he IS able to deal in high-stress situations with ease.

And no, that's not saying Valentino and Velvette don't have their moments. In Masquerade, Val's smart about how he approaches Charlie being there, and Velvette's extremely clever in Scrambled Eggs (Er, possibly. I doubt she and the other Vees didn't talk about it before hand and theorize then, and their goal was NOT to start a way but to gain info, but her noticing Carmilla's reaction was definitely a point for her.). But they're not more clever than Vox, they just get more screen time as actual villains, probably because of their roles in this season. Velvette's there explicitly to set up for the reveal Carmilla killed an angel, and Valentino's meant to be the main enemy of Angel Dust throughout the series to build his character. Vox? Well, right now we just need to know he exists and doesn't like Alastor, for future plot lines. And also comedic relief in episode 8, because, come on, almost everything he says in that episode is just funny. (And also emphasizing how much he hates Alastor/is obsessed with Alastor losing) And yeah, the pacing about introducing him could have been better, building him up to be a threat and then having Alastor take him down, but for 8 episodes, they did a fair job. And a part of me wonders if we're meant to overestimate Alastor and underestimate Vox, especially after the Adam fight.

And why I say he has the potential to be a big threat to the Hotel has to do with the scene we have when he's getting introduced, and what we see in Helluva Boss about Voxflix being on Blitzø's phone. He's everywhere, he has power over his viewers, and his grip on media is so tight, even Hellborns use his services. What's the Hotel's main issue at the moment? A lack of guests, which is at least in part caused by poor advertising. Anybody else think it's not coincidence the 'emergency broadcast' happened just as the Hotel's advertisement began to play?

Tl;dr, Vox is more powerful than people seem to believe, even if he's pathetic as all hell a lot during his limited screen time, probably mostly because he has no big role in the current season.

[thecountesstribe]

HOTD Ep 2x7 Spoilers and review.

So this was one of my favorite episodes this season and also one of the coolest imo.

Seasmoke being protective of Addam and looking proud he terrorized Addam into being his rider was too funny. I love that dragon 😂. Come through Addam the Loyal, all Rhaenyra had to say was she's queen and he immediately acknowledged her and bent the knee, I loved that. He's really about to become my other favorite boy.

Corlys being shook and acting like he doesn't know Addam, like sir if you don't tell the truth already. He's never gonna beat the deadbeat allegations. Although when he told him “Well done” I did whoop a little. I would've kicked his ass had I been Addam though.

Oscar Tully! That's it. That's the fuckin post. He gagged Daemon and stood on business. I love to see young kids bullying arrogant adults, he reminded me of the OG lil boss Lyanna Mormont. That's my lil nephew now.

Daemon didn't take the crown. We saw him hallucinating again, this time with the sick version of Viserys and Viserys holding the crown which he didn't take. I mean anybody with a brain could summarize that he never wanted the crown, we didn't need to spend so much time in his delusions in Harrenhal to tell us that. We certainly didn't need a scene of him feasting on his mom to tell us that, yuck. For all his faults he really was about his family. He went about it the wrong way but that's Daemon for you. His stupid self destructive ass.

We had an unnecessary scene of Alicent running about the woods after leaving King's Landing. Chile anyways. Larys is totally protecting Aegon now and he's essentially crippled atp. I fear for Baela's storyline.

Rhaena is looking for Sheepstealer. Her and Jeyne are still tussling but they waited until the final 2 episodes to give her something, Baela had no lines besides looking pretty and staring at Jace. I fuckin hate it here. Could we bully HBO AND THE WRITERS SOME MORE. WTF!!

Vermithor and SilverWing looked so cool. What did that old bum feed Vermithor though? He's big asf. SilverWing just might be the coolest looking dragon. I can't rank them anymore cause I like them all 😭. Literally my favorite thing about the episode. Like the directors cooked. The dragons are funny asf 😂😭😭😭. There were a lot of parentage reveals, I don't believe for a second Saera sired that ugly man but anyways. RhaeRhae led those people to their deaths. Rhaenyra deadass gave this big ass pep talk, she reminded me of Erwin before he led the scouts out on what would be their suicide mission except she didn't stay to see the outcome or participate in it. Vermithor saw an opportunity for a buffet and took it, Hugh claimed him. Fuckin cinema. Still gonna hate his bitchass but I can't lie that was badass. SilverWing was bullying Ulf. Why do people I hate always win sometimes?! Ulf literally failed upwards. Can't be mad at it. I mean if I was a dragon I would've done the same shit. How dare mediocre specimens come before me who is essentially the next best thing after the Gods!

We got Rhaenyra speaking High Valyrian. She had her dragon squad quit on her though and gave her a warning (foreshadowing). Her also being able to calm Vermithor, that's the Dragon Queen of her era y'all. We saw a little movement with her and her protective spoiled cat Syrax too 😍.

Not people hating on Jace now. Listen that argument has been brewing since season 1. He just finally let it out of his brooding body. I don't think many people understand the implications that argument meant. He sounded classist and maybe he was, highly doubt he is but he's being realistic and in the future he was proven right (unless they scrap the book canon). Rhaenyra paralleled Viserys in that entire scene. She really is her father's child in some ways. She did to Jace what Viserys essentially did to her. The one thing that could've upheld his ascension to the throne was him having a dragon and she essentially gave a free pass to anybody to do the same, the same thing was done to Rhaenyra when Viserys decided to marry Alicent and sire more children when he knew damn well that if he had a son, her claim to the throne would've been compromised. Jace knows he's a “bastard”, a legitimate one but a “bastard” ntl (I'm not calling him a bastard in a derogatory sense either, he isn't. Laenor claimed them as his sons and that's the end of it to me) , it shouldn't matter considering the throne is not passing from his father's side but his mother's. Sure his last name would've changed the minute he was named heir and ascended as stated by Viserys but what weight does that hold now? They briefly touched on it when he spoke to Baela about his fathers but he had always been insecure about his parentage. No he didn't call his mother a whore, he's been fighting that battle all his life, she just made it worse. In the dire situation they're in, the sacrifice had to be made but I could understand why he's angry and hurt over it again. She literally just made him illegitimate in the eyes of the realm. His anger is valid. Was his tone harsh yes, try dealing with the whispers and the jeers and everything else for the past 16 years of your entire life and seeing the same proof of what everybody else sees everyday and tell me that you wouldn't hold some kind of resentment towards it. I liked how Rhaenyra was patient with him though, just wished it wasn't as rushed as the scene felt.

The last shot of the episode was fuckin brilliant. Aemond turning his bitchass around knowing he can't handle that kinda pressure. Also Vhagar and Aemond's bond may not be as strong as it should be. She clearly does not listen to him sometimes. He's still responsible for Lucerys death IDC what y'all got to say. The episode got a 4/5 stars from me just for the dragons. I'm here for Jace, Baela, Addam and the Dragons!

Until next week guys for the finale. We're going to see Tessarion and Sheepstealer next week. I'm so excited.

[ririban]

Hi, your comment about Seigi and Richard "but they did kinda become “canon” only in the latest update. In the sense that they finally decided to officially make their relationship a romantic one." Can you tell me how does it happen?

Sorry for the late reply! I don't get a lot of asks so I'm not in the habit of checking my inbox 😅

For anyone else reading this, there are a bunch of spoilers under this. So don't read on if you don't want to be spoiled.

It wasn't anything super dramatic or something along those lines, if that's what you were hoping for, but a very Etra like moment where they just... talked. They've both definitely been aware of each other's feelings for a couple of volumes now, but they weren't in an official romantic relationship until volume 13. It's also mentioned that they were both considering taking their relationship in that direction prior to the events of volume 11, and Richard had even asked Seigi “If we keep work and personal life separate, would you like to continue this relationship with me?” (this translation might not be accurate as my Japanese isn't very good so I relied on MTL quite a bit). It's also mentioned that Seigi knew what Richard was talking about here, but Jeff called at that moment and interrupted them. After this Seigi just... didn't respond. In volume 11 there was a scene where Seigi asked Richard to wait a bit longer and Richard responded that he's ready to wait a hundred years.

Back to volume 13, they had a conversation where Richard said that while they may have had a student-teacher like relationship in the past, they were equals at the present moment so Seigi shouldn't hesitate no matter how he wants to respond. So Seigi told him that he was scared. He'd been constantly improving himself during his time with Richard and had been showing his best self, all to make Richard happy. But he wasn't sure if he could continue growing at this pace. He feared he wouldn't be able to provide Richard with as much enjoyment as he had up to that point. Basically, he was worried about what comes after they get together. He was worried that a day would come where Richard is no longer able to see a future with him.

But Richard said that he's growing at the same pace as Seigi and that the future isn't infinite. And I'll just post a rough translation of the following bit (again, I don't actually know Japanese, so this may be incorrect):

“Seigi, life itself has no ‘second chance.’ There is no ‘future.’ Every living thing that is born will one day live out its life and leave this world. It’s not strange to be afraid of that—it’s a natural feeling. But trying to include my relationship with you in that fear doesn’t make sense. To be blunt, everything that begins will eventually end. Nothing lasts forever.” “…Not even diamonds?” “No, not even diamonds. Because their brilliance exists only in the gaze of those who behold them.” Thinking of the world’s most famous diamond tagline, Seigi smiled stiffly. Richard returned his smile, a gentle, soft expression. “And that’s precisely why I want to stay by your side. Even if the word ‘beauty’ one day belongs to someone or something else, I still want you to call me beautiful. I want to see what I look like in your eyes—eyes with gray hairs and wrinkles—when that day comes.” “…” "Even if, one day, diamonds were to turn to ash, or the powerful flames that flowed within molten lava cooled and hardened into fragile gray rock, I know you would cherish them still. I am certain of it. Because I, too, am confident that I will keep the brilliance of the diamond that is you within my eyes forever." "...I might turn into a boring guy really soon, you know." "Don’t worry. You’ve already entertained me more than a lifetime’s worth. Everything from here on is bonus time." "...Haha." This time, it was Seigi’s turn to laugh. He laughed quietly at first—haha, haha—then, just like Richard moments ago, crouched down and continued laughing. Richard gently placed a hand on Seigi’s trembling back and stroked it. "Seigi. The reason I find you so endearing is not because you constantly cherish me or make me happy. Nor is it because you are a living being who grows at a remarkable pace. I love you because you are you." "..." "Now and always." "...Me too." "I know." "...Yeah." Seigi let out a deep sigh and stood up. The groan of resignation that escaped his lips carried a faint sweetness, as though something was caught in his throat. Richard sensed it just as Seigi sniffled softly. With a composed expression, Richard tilted his head. "Is something the matter?" "Nah, just got something in my eye. Don’t mind me. Ah… you’re still as beautiful as ever. The most beautiful in the world. Sometimes it makes me want to cry." Seigi took a step closer to Richard and touched his cheek. Then, pressing his forehead against Richard’s collar, he let out another sigh. "You’re beautiful. Just your existence feels like the sun, shining down and lighting up my life." "It may be time to consider installing solar panels. This is the third or fourth time you’ve said that to me." "Sorry." "There’s no need to apologize. The sun always feels pleased when you praise it." Richard shrugged. Seigi raised his head, his expression somewhere between troubled and amused. "I’m truly happy to be able to share the same time with you. Even if the invisible amount of time we have left keeps shrinking, I’m so happy to be spending it with you. So happy it scares me sometimes, and I feel like running away. But… there aren’t many places left for me to run to anymore." "It seems that way." Seigi removed his hand from Richard’s cheek, took a step back, straightened his posture, and looked directly at the beautiful face in front of him. Then he spoke. "I want to stay by your side. Always. So… stay with me. Even if I turn into a wreck, promise you’ll stay. Even if it’s a lie." "Unfortunately, I’m all out of lies to tell you." Without either of them signaling the other, they wrapped their arms around each other, embracing tightly.

After this the scene moved to more plot relevant stuff which I'm not including here.

[got-into-worm-by-mistake]

Okay, I've Read Worm: A Retrospective Part 5: What Was I Fucking Surprised By?

So, as you may remember, I got into Worm thoroughly spoiled by the wiki and Wormblr and r/parahumans and r/Wormfanfic and actual Worm fanfic. I knew pretty much all the basic details of all the plot twists. And yet, of course, there are things I didn't expect, things the fandom or the wiki mislead me about, etc. Things I was surprised by.

So let's talk about a few:

Taylor Hebert: As I've said, I kind of worried, before reading Worm, that I'd find Taylor insufferable. The sort of character that tries to be a hero and then convinces themselves to do all sorts of bad stuff while telling themselves they're still a hero/good person/etc is hard to write well without being really unpleasant to read/watc/etc. Self-righteousness in general is hard to enjoy for me. Taylor, honestly, stops thinking of herself as a good person partway through the post-Levi period, in most ways, and she never gets self-righteous about it. So Taylor was much more sufferable than I thought. Which is good, because I would have dropped Worm like a hot potato if she'd been insufferable as the main POV.

Eidolon & The Endbringers: (Sounds like a band name). The whole 'you needed Worthy opponents' thing, and the way people talked about Eidolon (seriously, this fandom as a whole is hugely unfair to the guy, istg) really gave me the impression of like, this vainglorious piece of shit guy who wants adulation and doesn't care how he gets it. And like... I don't get that impression from his Interlude at all? He doesn't seem to give two shits about fame, just about knowing what he did mattered. And he knew that well before the Endbringers. Obviously, he subconsciously created them, and then [High Priest] got all goddamn malicious in his compliance but he's not the vainglorious asshole who charges off to face Scion in single combat or w/e the way the fanfiction gave me that impression. Also, like, maybe it's just me, but I define 'Worthy Opponent' as 'something the person could have a reasonable chance of defeating in a solo fight'. So for me, a worthy opponent would be a rowdy 12 year old with maybe a white belt in karate. the Endbringers are not solo-able opponents for Eidolon. So absolutely not doing what he actually wanted. I really think the fandom is unfairly hard on Eidolon.

Interlude 15.x: Look, at the risk of starting discourse - I'm sorry. I've read 15.x Backwards and forwards and there is just Nothing pointing towards rape in the text, even looking for it as I was. I really expected I'd see some line, some implication, some fucking hint and there's just... absolutely nothing. The text of Worm as written, whatever Wildbow claims he meant and whatever he did mean, does not support a rape interpretation of events. And that sure as fuck surprised me.

Extinction 8.6: The way people - and even some fics - talked about the scene where Amy messes with Taylor post-Leviathan made it sound like Amy straight up ripped off Taylor's mask or something extreme like that, and then Taylor sees unmasked Sophia while trying to run and hide after being unmasked. What we got was Amy being a bit of a bitch, deliberately refusing to answer a question Taylor asked because she knew not answering would upset the girl (not cool), Amy's bedside manner being shit, and Taylor's own paranoia (and the godawful choice of the heroes to handcuff her to the bed) filling in the blanks. And this absolutely tepid-ass shit is pointed to by people as proof that 'Amy was a bitch the whole time'.

The Leviathan Fight: It was a lot shorter than I expected. I enjoyed reading it in ways I was worried I wouldn't.

Cauldron: Now, here's the thing. Characters that do bad things, knowing they're bad, but in pursuit of a greater good? That shit is my goddamn jam. I fucking love characters like that. They're my catnip! And I went into Worm sympathetic as FUCK to Cauldron. and I come out of Worm going 'Jesus Christ what a bunch of fucking idjits!' Their shoestring illuminati was run by a bunch of teenagers who never grew up and a college student who's a worse control freak than Taylor. Their incompetence appears to be the whole point (until Wildbow's WoGs turned everything into Cauldron social engineering and he went out of his way to make a big thing about how Cauldron was totes necessary for making things better. Man just cannot shut up). They try for decades to put some final fight against Scion together, and they fail epicly. No groundwork, no real success, and they turned to ACCORD for their post-apocalyptic plans. And apparently had no plan for a mass Case-53 breakout/attack. Which is... sure a choice. Dumping the Case-53s the way they did. The choice of which Case 53s to dump (Sveta sure was a choice of who to just... let out into the world. Like, not an issue with her personally, but you don't release that kind of uncontrollable murder tentacle out into the world, maybe? Just maybe?). I went into Worm thinking I'd be on Cauldron's side, at least a little, and I came out just... god no, you people are stupid.

Amy's Birdcage Arc: I really thought we'd see more of Amy's time in the birdcage, but 16.z really was all we got.

Alexandria's Death: I don't quite know what I did expect, but I didn't expect Alexandria's death to be so goddamn Darwin-award worthy. The woman died like the biggest of CHUMPs and that was much funnier than I expected.

The Drugs are Fantastic line: I knew it was being taken out of context, but it wasn't quite in the place I expected, I'll be honest. Not sure what I did expect.

Taylor's Weaver Arc/The Timeskip: I expected... I dunno. Less of an abrupt transition, I guess? I thought the timeskip would be like, a series of small scenes skipping ahead over two years between them? Instead, right in the middle of Arc 25, it just jumps ahead two years without ceremony. Did not expect that. At all.

Slaughterhouse Nine: I was not prepared for just how goddamn boring the Nine were. I don't think I read any spoilers about how Jack Slash being boring af was the point until I'd already started the S9 arc, but I especially didn't expect how pathetically bland as characters Manny the Kinless and Burnscar and Crawler and Sibby the Friendly Neighborhood Cannibal would be. Cherish managed to be interesting by being such a failure, and Bonebitch, to my eterntal frustration, managed to be funny, but the rest? Also, I thought Manton would die in the Bay, rather than be killed unceremoniously offscreen while in Boston.

The Butcher: For a character who appears in all of two chapters, the Butcher has a much larger presence in the fandom. But that is Worm for you, because groups like the Elite and the Fallen also show up more in the fics than their presence in the main story merits (Though the Fallen have more of a presence in Ward, even if I gather Ward kinda sorta retcons like half the details or at least presents irreconcilable visions of the organization)

Empire 88: They were way out of focus, compared to how much they appear in fics. But it is fun in fics to see Nazis get beat up all the time, so this is valid. But also, like, even their post-Levi remnants were weaksauce af. Someone in a server the other day said that taking out Marquis took out an entire faction, and that Levi proved that taking out Kaiser (or Allfather before him) doesn't stop the Empire, gesturing to the Aryan's Chosen and the Pure as proof but like... lbr. Both groups were pretty damn pathetic in the post-Leviathan bay. Regardless, I expected to see more of the Nazis getting beat in Worm itself, and we really didn't. But this is one time where I don't care, because as I said, seeing Nazis get beaten up over and over again in the fanfic is fun.

Ward: I was worried reading and finishing Worm might make me want to read Ward. Thankfully, it did not. *whew*

Now, there are probably others, but nothing else as major. But there are also some things I just plain wasn't surprised by.

Amy Dallon: I went into Worm expecting her to be my blorbo, and that didn't change. She's definitely my character type. I feel the same about her storyline in Worm as I did going into it.

Tattlebitch: I expcted to hate her, and I stayed hating her. Lisa sucks. Like, she has her redeeming moments and features, but overall, I still hate Lisa.

Carol Dallon: My Sympathy for Carol remains about as theoretical as it always was.

The PRT/Protectorate: I suspected the PRT/Protectorate was not as useless and incompetent and ACAB as a lot of fics painted it and... I was right.

My Ultimate Opinion: I went into Worm thinking it wasn't really for me, but that I'd probably find it well written and that many characters would be engaging. I figured it would have massive gaping plot holes and that I would never find it to be the 'amazeballs perfect wonderful' that some people seem to find it. And yeah, I was right about that too.

[gaykarstaagforever]

Heathers (1989)

"If everyone jumped off a bridge, would you?"

"...Probably."

[TRIGGER WARNING: The movie is about murder, suicide, depression, anxiety and bullying, and it's a Rated-R movie from 1989, so SA is going to keep coming up. I'm going to be referencing all of that in this review. Also I'm a gay man and will be teasing people who have made this movie their personality, so tap out now if you and your cool vinyl collection can't deal with that.]

The movie starts as a fun black comedic take-down of saccharine 80s John Hughes teen romance movies. New-kid-in-school badboy edgelord JD, and repentant former wannabe cool girl Veronica, hook up and decide to live out the ultimate bullied nerd fantasy by getting revenge on Heather, Veronica's frenemy and leader of the Heathers, the most popular clique in school.

But when things go darker than Veronica planned, the comedic satire becomes a Shakespearean melodrama, as Veronica is suddenly confronted by the surreal consequences of what she's done, including realizing that the simplest solution to a problem may in fact make everything a hell of a lot worse.

I'm not going to spoil it for the 5 of you who haven't seen this yet. Everyone else (including me now) has seen it, as it is probably one of the most universally-popular Internet-culture movies there is. You've seen at least one meme from it.

Probably this one.

While a flop in 1989, it quickly became a cult movie on home media, even by the late 90s being one of those movies your older brother and his friends introduced you to to let you know they didn't think you were a lame stupid baby anymore. And it seems now with streaming it is still kind of in that spot, the older brothers with tapes being replaced by Gen X / Millennials posting about how cool it is in front of teenaged lurkers.

So how did I miss it? I WAS the older brother growing up, and I was 7 when it came out. And when I did go back and get into all the 80s movies I missed out on by being a toddler when they were new, I stumbled into the Hughes stuff, notably Pretty in Pink, which is fundamentally the movie Heathers is mocking. As cynical and jaded as I am, I'm also a fruitcake, so I love me some sappy sunny crap (if it's to a greater artistic point, which the Hughes movies are). What I knew of Heathers had me thinking it was merely a demonstration of pretentious anti "popular media" whining from the sort of people who wear outdated hats and are insufferable about punk music.

...And it totally is. But also, it's more than that. It's actually really good and smart and occasionally insightful, when it restrains itself from all the emo "I can be your devil or your angle" posturing. Which, to be fair, it also makes fun of. Before that was even a thing.

Christian Slater and Wynonna Rider have fantastic chemistry, and there's never enough of the two of them just enjoying each other's company. Even when they're arguing, it feels like a real couple going through something they'll almost certainly get over in a few hours (until they very much can't, and then they'll literally try to kill each other). Passion, is the word for it. Sardonic and low-key most of the time, but still passion. And that's always delightful.

It's well-shot and well-directed, with good uses of lighting and dynamic camera angles. There is a lot of scenes that are just two people talking, and it's never boring. Impressive for filmmakers who were, at the time, fresh-faced and working with a small budget. The style ends up being like if John Waters (no relation to Dan Waters, who wrote it) had directed Corman's Rock and Roll High School: goofy and surreal and sarcastic, but also willing to get dark and push boundaries to make a point.

All the characters - even joke side ones - are thoughtfully drawn, given emotional depth and realistic motivations, even when they're doing something stagey and broad in this highly stylized, Tim Burton-esque dark fairytale world. Wynonna Rider fought for the role against all advice, and it is perfectly in-line with the characters she played and the movies she played them in of this era, Beetlejuice and Edward Scissorhands. Maybe even Bram Stoker's Dracula, if we're talking surreal melodramatic action-horror with disco lighting.

It is a movie with lots of big ideas (probably too many), but it manages to get those across effectively. What starts as a simple teenager revenge fantasy morphs into an armchair analysis of what America does to its children - instead of nurturing them and preparing them for the adult world, it points at them and gawks, and cashes in on their fear and self-loathing and predictable self-destruction. Everyone in the cruel high school world of Heathers is both a perpetrator and a victim, desperately fighting for survival by both submitting to abuse, and then immediately turning around and heaping it on someone "beneath" them. Death here isn't genuinely mourned or reflected upon; everyone simply starts plotting how they're going to exploit this new gap in the line. And whether the victims kill themselves or are murdered only matters as far as someone can spin that into self-promotion. Even the priest at the funeral (the late great Glenn Shadix, Beetlejuice again!) uses the supposed suicide of a child as an opportunity to make a ham-fisted youth-oriented alter call.

By the end of the movie, Veronica has triumphantly decided to rise up - not merely against the popular kids and exploitative / apathetic adults - but against the entire system of unending cruelty she didn't even know she was still playing a part in when she was actively attacking it. This finally sets her at odds with JD, who is too consumed by hatred to realize that the violence he thinks is a solution is fundamentally part of the problem.

And yet, as they come to blows, Veronica is also replaying the very same game that led her to become one of the Heathers in the first place, and then turn on them: use people to secure power, they use and hurt you, so you attack them. She knows the whole system is bad and broken and wants out, and seems to acknowledge the only way out is through earnest friendships and "growing out" of being shallow and petty. But by the end of the movie, despite her rebuke of JD...has she managed it? Maybe, maybe not. Maybe the system is inescapable, and all you can hope to do is find a way to force it to work for you. And choose then to make it less cruel. Maybe.

It's not a good or happy ending, it's just an ending. But a thought-provoking one, and the movie does it well.

...Mostly. The dialogue is trying very hard to be distinctively witty, but mostly comes across like a worse version of Clueless-ese, with more gratuitous vulgarities and no kitschy charm. A writer being very proud of how smart they are, without noticing that real people don't talk like this because it's awkward and obnoxious. Everyone's dialogue is basically interchangeable, including between the kids and adults (JD and his lunatic father have a fun distinctive thing they do, but that's about it). Now, lines being awkward and obnoxious doesn't mean they aren't eminently meme-able. In fact, that usually means they are. And they certainly are here. Nearly every scene has a memorable bon mot that can be endlessly parroted by people doing that so you won't notice their off-putting personality. ...I wouldn't call that a win for anyone, but it is certainly a thing.

Remember: just because someone said it in a movie, doesn't mean it's inherently funny or profound or relevant to the conversation you've currently having. And you're not suddenly smart because you found a movie quote that you think expresses your exceptional hot take. In fact, that might be a sign that your are NOT in fact smart or insightful. Just putting that out there.

Also the "mineral water is for fags" thing is only funny because it's stupid. It was stupid then. That's the point of that being in the movie, to show how stupid these podunk morons in Ohio are. Stop repeating that 'joke.' It isn't funny out of context.

Gen X. Looking at you on this one. It's just you trying to give yourselves permission to still call people "fags." Doesn't work that way.

Christian Slater claims he was "channeling Jack Nicholson for this film." Yeah, okay, dude. And for the rest of your life, all the time. He's still a good actor and very charming here, but if that "Christian Slater" thing he does annoys you, it's at 11 here.

The pacing and tone get pretty muddled after the initial black revenge comedy stuff stops, as the movie uneasily transitions to its second major focus. It stops being funny entirely for awhile, until near the end when it suddenly remembers that was supposed to be a part of this, then sitcomy stuff elbows its way in. And JD's plans post-breakup with Veronica are left vague until they suddenly aren't, and I feel like I missed something. I didn't, and there's a point to them doing it this way, but it is handled kind of confusingly.

The movie is a scaled-down version of whatever epic Greek tragicomedy the writer originally dreamed up, and the studio demanded the pitch-black orginal ending be changed. And you can kind of feel that throughout. As an R-rated movie it is a lot tamer than it feels like it should be, and I for one wish the kills were gorier and more over-the-top. That more fits the tone. Maybe that was never the original intention, but you don't do Titus Andronicus without getting gross with it, you know?

Any SA stuff is handled tactfully, and there isn't much of it, and it serves a narrative purpose. But that still feels like something that is only in here because it's 1989 and R-rated movies have to go there. And I don't feel like they really give those incidents the kind of emotional impact they should have on the victims. But again, this is a surreal world of unending cruelty, so maybe people shrug that off here. It's more my personal preference, if you're going to be gross to women in a movie (probably stop that, unless that's what the movie is about. Rape and molestation are not screenplay spices.)

The good far outweighs the bad, though. And Heathers is good, and is deservedly a timeless cult-classic for growing boys and girls, given what it deals with and how well it deals with it. It's entertaining and it makes you think, which is what good movies do. And it's endlessly meme-able, and that's okay, even if the people who meme it the most are silently warning you that they're pretentious and annoying about music. And that's only sort-of the movie's fault.

Also all the women in this movie have 9 lbs of dry fly-away hair that is just...painful. I realize this "unkempt Barbie hair" style was the best we could do at the time, but... I feel like I can hear it crunching every time they move.

Oh, and shoulder pads for days, shoulder pads FOREVER. I will never understand why the hell the 80s thought women weren't boxy enough. It was a thing.