#it was such a good class i'm really gonna miss the people i worked with. great way to end my senior year

[magentagalaxies]

just finished my last ever college class what the fuck

[100vern]

ex-conomics | csc

you supported seungcheol through years of being an aspiring athlete, and all you got to show for it was your undergraduate degree and an awkward, stuttered apology when he dumped you to go semi-pro. now he’s back after an injury derailed his career, and there’s only one problem: you’re the only one available to tutor him. you - 0; the universe - 1. talk about no return on investment.

⚽ pairing: choi seungcheol x f. reader ⚽ genre: exes to (lite) enemies to lovers; university au; angst, fluff ⚽ rating: while there is nothing explicit in this fic, there are two brief references to smut. while i can't stop anyone from reading this, i would prefer minors do not interact with this or any of my work. ⚽ warnings: cheol is some degree of famous, reader is a grad student/TA, mentions of an injury and coping with the aftermath of it, lots of economics talk that even i do not understand, swearing, one mention of alcohol, some misplaced jealousy, rom-com tropes, dino is kind of a loser but we love him anyway. probably a lot of other things i missed, but this is actually pretty tame for a fic of this length. ⚽ word count: 13.4k ⚽ thank you: a lot of people looked this over for me in the process and i'm sure i will forget some of them so if i do i'm sorry: @the-boy-meets-evil, @hot-soop, @highvern, and @haologram, who also gave me some wonderful ideas for the vlogs. thank you to MIT for opencourseware existing. i took microeconomics and dropped it, so i couldn't have done this without you. everyone in the discord server for helping me along the way and keeping me motivated. ⚽ author's note: i haven't posted a fic in nearly seven months, so i think it goes without saying that there are parts of this i like and a lot more i'm not 100% happy with. i'd love if this was more fleshed out and 10k longer, but i was able to write anything at all so it's good enough. this was written for the back to school with seventeen collab, hosted by @camandemstudios. thank you both for letting me participate! please make sure to check out the rest of the stories! everyone worked so hard and this collab was a ton of fun to participate in. <3

You look down at the paper. Back up at who handed it to you. Down at the paper again.

“You’ve got to be joking.”

The poor freshman kid laughs, all nerves, and even though the sound is grating, you remember what it’s like to be forced into work study. How far away graduate school seemed; how large your professors loomed over you with all their power and knowledge and credentials; how you constantly felt like the dumbest person in nearly every room you walked into for four straight years.

“Um—”

You sigh, just barely resisting the urge to slam your head onto your desk. “I—it’s fine, don’t worry about it.” Your words do little to ease Freshman’s nerves. He’s still hunched over in the doorway of your office, wringing his hands as he shifts his weight back and forth, in for a lifetime of body pain with the way he’s squaring his shoulders. “You’re sure about this, though? Like, I’m really not being set up?”

“I don’t think so?” he offers, slowly starting to turn green right before your eyes. “Dr. Lee ga-gave me the paperwork himself, I don’t think he would’ve messed it up? Oh no, did I mess it up? Should I go back to Student Services and conf—”

Good god, this kid’s anxiety is gonna stink up your office for weeks. “No need!” you interject. “I’ll just…” Sign it, you want to say, but the longer you stare at the sheet of paper the quicker you’re losing your resolve.

TUTORING REQUEST FORM Student Name: Choi Seungcheol Degree: Undergraduate Major: Business Course: ECON04101 Introduction to Microeconomics Instructor: Lee Yeonseok, PhD. Recommended Tutoring: High (3-4 hours per week)

You curse under your breath. Of the two names on the paper, Dr. Lee’s does not come as a surprise. He’s a notorious hard-ass with an infamous attrition rate—most students don’t last more than a week in any of his classes—but he’s also the sole reason you were able to pay for someof your grad school tuition out of pocket with all the tutoring money you made.

That, however, was two years ago.

“Does he know I don’t tutor anymore?” Stupid question. The kid stares blankly back at you, as if to say I don’t know any more than the people in Student Services, let alone Dr. Lee. It is literally my first year here. “I’m Dr. Ahn’s TA this year. I’ve got my hands full with her bullsh… stuff—”

Immediately, you know you’ve said something wrong, because the kid’s eyes light up, all that previous anxiety disappearing like smoke. “Wait, the same Dr. Ahn that teaches the crypto course?”

“No, that one died,” you say quickly. Kid deflates. “Anyway, I don’t really tutor anymore, especially for econ. As you can see”—you gesture vaguely around the cramped four walls of your office—“they’ve upgraded me. They even put my name on a little placard by the door! Go look! They spelled it wrong! If that doesn’t sum up this university I don’t know what does.”

You heave another sigh. Try to school your face and tone into something that exudes professionalism and finality. “Look, I’m sorry I can’t help you. I tutored Dr. Lee’s students for, like, three years in undergrad so I’m sure they just… forgot that wasn’t my actual job here. Who’s in charge of tutoring these days? I’ll shoot them an email and explain all this.”

Freshman gives you a name, and it takes less than a second to find them in the employee directory. You expect that to be the end of it, but he’s still taking up space in your doorway. You quirk an eyebrow. “Yes?”

The hand-wringing returns, along with an embarrassed flush that disappears beneath the neckline of his school-branded sweatshirt. “I just—um. Maybe you could, uh. Send that now? Before I get back there?”

You blink. “Don’t you have to go all the way back across campus? How slow do you think I type?” He shrugs, and you give up on the idea of getting rid of him. “Fine. What’s your name, anyway?”

“Lee Chan. I’m a sophomore. Do you know that guy?”

“Oh. I thought for sure you were a freshman, but you’re gonna need to be more specific, Lee Chan, Sophomore.”

“The guy they want you to tutor.” You freeze. The guy they want you to tutor is—“Choi Seungcheol,” Chan tacks on, and, yeah, you know—knew, you correct yourself—someone with that name, once upon a time.

But there are a lot of Chois and a lot of Seungcheols. It’s been years since you’ve spoken to the Seungcheol you knew, and that was when he’d broken up with you to—“I heard he’s a football player? Well, used to be, I guess. The girls in the office were freaking out so I guess he’s pretty famous, but I don’t know anything about sports, do you? They said they have photocards of him. I thought they only did that for idols.”

You think about being kids together in Daegu. Think about the exasperated looks you’d share when your parents would drag the two of you to festivals: Palgongsan in the autumn, Biseulsan in the spring; transformation and rebirth. Think about being eight years old and watching your father cram into the small space of the Chois’ living room, standing around the TV with Seungcheol’s dad, shouting at Park Jonghwan. Daegu FC made the FA Cup quarterfinals that year, and you think, of everything, that’s what you’ll remember for the rest of your life.

You think about falling in love slowly. Sixteen and clueless, the pair of you were. Didn’t really know any different, just that you’d look at him and feel butterflies. That you’d hold hands in secret. Text beneath the dinner table. That you’d watch him on the football pitch and be consumed by pride. That the future felt impossibly far away, that life would never catch up to the two of you.

You think about all the football jargon you didn’t understand—the academies, the teams, the implications. You think about, I’m thinking about trying out for the FC Seoul U-18, I just don’t think there’s much more I can do here in Daegu. You think about replying, Oh, I applied to university there.

You remember thinking it must’ve been fate, how easy that had worked out. How easy that first hurdle had been overcome.

You think about how fast everything happened. The try-out, the acceptance, the explosion. Remember being unable to go anywhere those first few months without seeing Seungcheol’s face, touted as the next big thing. Think about applying for scholarships when he was applying for international visas. Think about studying for midterms when Seungcheol was studying English for interviews.

You think about the last few weeks of your relationship, when it felt like you were desperately trying to cling to ghosts. Think about how Seoul had once felt endlessly big, both in opportunity and size, and how it now felt suffocating. You think about, So you’re just giving up? Is that what you’re saying? Think about, I don’t know what else to do. It doesn’t feel fair to you.

You think about all the places you’ve watched him. On countless football pitches; shy glances in school hallways; in the passenger seat, wracked with nerves on the drive to Seoul; poised above you in bed, hairline dotted with sweat as he rolled his hips, telling you how much he loved you.

You think about watching him walk out the door, and how you never watched him again.

So you fire off your email, concise and to the point about why you can’t tutor Choi Seungcheol in Introduction to Microeconomics, and turn to Lee Chan, Sophomore.

“No,” you finally answer. “Never heard of him.”

For all intents and purposes, your rejection should’ve been the end of it.

A few days go by. You hold office hours, attend lectures, work on your thesis when you have both the time and the energy. Try to ignore the feeling of bees beneath your skin, anxiety needling each time you check your email. You were well within your right to decline the tutoring request, but you can’t help but feel like you’ve done something wrong. That someone somehow knows who Seungcheol was to you and will pull you up on it. That those girls who’d gushed about him to Chan are somewhere laughing at your expense.

But you don’t hear anything at all about it… until you do.

Sunday evening. You haven’t moved from your couch in hours, some variety show playing in the background, barely audible over your keyboard clacking. Much to your detriment, you don’t write many papers these days, so you’re out of practice. Feels like you haven’t done anything besides formulas in years, all of your academic knowledge reduced to fucking math, so you’re about ready to toss your laptop out the window long before the email even comes through.

You see, From: Lee Yeonseok. You see, Subject: Choi Seungcheol - Tutoring.

Your stomach plummets to the floor.

You scan the body quickly. You see the words personal favor… friend of his father… urgent matter… and your hands start shaking. Whether it’s from the sheer audacity of this man or anxiety, you aren’t sure, but it’s not like it matters. There aren’t a whole lot of people on campus brave or dumb enough to go up against him twice.

“Motherfucker,” you spit, bitter the only taste in your mouth.

Where did you go wrong to wind up here? You’d followed the script: got the grades, passed the exams, received half of the required education for the Respectable Career, helped a few others along the way chase dreams that may or may not have been their own. You’d fallen in love. Only had a broken heart to show for it, but that’d been in the script, too: The First Love, followed by The First Heartbreak.

The split from Seungcheol was supposed to have been the end of that chapter. You’d planned on never seeing him again, and you never would have, had it been up to you. Apparently the universe has other plans, participation required.

“Did you spill onion dip on the rug again?” You startle, sending your laptop flying. Kaori, your roommate, is perched halfway in between the living room and the kitchen like a cryptid, clearly not expecting your reaction. “Oh. Were you watching porn?”

Face burning, you fetch your laptop from the floor. “In a common area? Kaori, please, I have far more decorum than that.”

She snorts, resuming her trek to the fridge. “See, that’s what I thought, but then I walked out here and you threw your laptop so fast it was like watching my ex get caught watching furry porn all over again.” She pries the lid off a large container of yogurt. “You think this is still good?”

“Dunno. What’s it smell like?”

She sniffs it and pulls it back to check the label. “Vanilla, I think, which is concerning because it’s supposed to be strawberry.”

You shrug. “What’s the worst that can happen, you get extra”—you pause, trying to remember the correct order of things, before giving up entirely—“...biotics?”

“Mm, so close. Care if I just eat this with a spoon?”

Nose scrunched, you wave her off. “Couldn’t pay me to eat yogurt on a good day, let alone if it’s expired. All yours, babe.”

Spoon in hand and a pleased smile on her face, Kaori collapses onto the couch beside you. You try to return your attention to your paper, try to find your momentum again, and it works for all of ten minutes before you’re groaning and slamming the top closed.

You don’t even need to look over to know Kaori’s staring. “What’s up with you?” she asks. Before she can answer: “Wait, is this serious? Because I can’t have a serious conversation in this t-shirt.” You steal a glance sideways. Ask Me About My Hemorrhoid! it says, and you exhale loudly. “Don’t breathe at me, I lost a bet.”

“And continued wearing it?”

She jokingly rolls her eyes. “God forbid a girl has hobbies.” Nudges you with her foot. “C’mon, spill.”

Kaori doesn’t know about you and Seungcheol. Most people don’t, aside from a few old classmates from Daegu who found you on social media and tried befriending you once he started making a name for himself in Seoul. After that, it was just easier to keep things private while you were together. New friends knew you were seeing someone but not their name or how long you’d been together. Any curiosity surrounding why the Choi Seungcheol was following you on Insta had been waved away easily. Our parents are friends, we grew up together. Then you broke up, and there wasn’t any evidence to delete, and he wasn’t following you on Instagram anymore, and it was easier that way.

So, yeah—even though you hadn’t met her until years later, Kaori knows you have an ex. She knows you’ve had a few flings and situationships in the time since, too, and it’s why she’s none the wiser when you ask, “It’s nothing, really. Just—do you follow football at all?”

“Nah, not really. The new guy’s pretty into it and keeps trying to get me to watch the games with him, but it’s so fucking boring? I dunno, I can’t get into it. Not in real life, anyway—I binged all of Captain Tsubasa in an embarrassingly short amount of time, though. Why?”

“Student Services asked me to tutor someone the other day and I had to turn it down. I just don’t have the time, you know? This semester’s already killer, and Dr. Ahn’s been riding my ass nonstop about grades. Turns out it’s some football player, so Dr. Lee emailed me asking me to do it as a personal favor, which means, on top of all the other shit I have to do, I’m now tutoring some football player four hours a week in Microeconomics.”

Her face distorts. “God, that guy’s such a prick. Like wow, you’re good at the economy! Good for you! Who cares! Why don’t you go balance the national debt or something instead of torturing university freshmen!”

You also wrongly assume that’s the last you’ll hear of it from Kaori.

Two days later, after Student Services replies to your email with the days and times you’ll be tutoring Seungcheol, she materializes in the living room to harass you.

“You didn’t tell me your football player was Choi Seungcheol.”

The panic is instant. You know how she means it, but it’s not how your body interprets it. All of a sudden it feels like an interrogation, an accusation, and a whopping serving of guilt takes up residence in the middle of your chest for not being entirely honest.

“Explains this weird text Ken sent me.”

She slides her phone over to you, open to her text thread with her current flavor of the week. Beneath an article about Seungcheol enrolling in classes at your school:

doesn’t ur roomie TA there Why are you calling her “ur roomie” like you don’t know her name?? Rude. Also yes. ask her to get me an autograph No babe pls he was my fav player before he got injured No 🙄 fine. can i come over later? Starting to think you’re using me for my roommate. Get your own job 🙄

You hand her phone back. “I didn’t think you’d know who Choi Seungcheol even is.” It’s the best you can do, even though it just digs you a deeper grave. “You said you’re not into football.”

“I’m not, but unfortunately I am into that stupid man.” She sighs, wistful and longing. “Babe, you have to understand. His dick is so big.”

You hadn’t wanted to stay in Seoul for your graduate degree, let alone the same university you’d gone to for undergrad.

You’d applied to schools all over—Japan, Europe, even a few in the States. Romanticized the hell out of NYU, went window shopping for an overpriced apartment, picked a favorite pizzeria based on nothing but vibes and online reviews. In those few months after graduation, there wasn’t a whole lot tying you to Seoul. Your and Seungcheol’s relationship had been old history by then, your parents split. Your dad stayed in your childhood home and your mother moved a few hours closer to her sister. They’d waited until your brother was old enough to be out of the house.

And it’d just been… a lot. Overwhelming. Some days you could barely shower or feed yourself, let alone move halfway across the world, so you’d stayed in the familiar and tried not to let it feel like failure.

But the good thing about familiarity is you learn its tricks, figure out the hiding spots. Early on, your first or second week of grad school, you laid claim to a study room on a floor of the library everyone else ignored. You write notes on the whiteboard with faded blue markers that are still there days later. The chair on the opposite side of the table is always exactly where you left it, the space between it and the table enough to only accommodate you. Sometimes you leave books—old paperbacks littered with notes in your writing—or papers, just to see if they move.

They never do.

And all of this is why it feels like a punch to the gut when that sanctity is tainted. When you’re halfway through a stack of Dr. Ahn’s exams and the doorknob rattles behind you. When you don’t even need to turn around to know who it is, because he still sounds the same, still has that overwhelming presence. You’ve always sensed him before you felt him.

“There you are,” Dr. Lee says, ambling into the room before you can protest. He, too, is overwhelming, just in different ways. Immaculate posture that anchors his slight frame that’s always dressed impeccably and expensively. Wears a watch that’s triple your tuition. Shoes polished so bright they’re nearly blinding. “I’ve been looking all over for you.”

This time it is an accusation.

Well, you found me, you want to say, but just knowing Seungcheol is behind him, lingering in that half-study room, half-hallway space, is enough to keep you quiet. Like if you speak you’ll summon him closer and you’ll no longer be able to pretend this is nothing more than a nightmare.

You plaster on a polite smile. Say, “Ah, here I am, kyosu-nim,” and put all your energy into trying to glue Seungcheol to the floor with your mind.

Which is fruitless, because Dr. Lee moves further into the room. Gestures for Seungcheol to follow him with an impatient huff, and the study room is small, sure, and with three people it feels cramped, but that’s not the reason it feels like all the air’s been sucked out of the room.

Seungcheol looks… different. He looks as anxious as you feel, and he sticks close to the wall like he’s trying to disappear. Dr. Lee introduces him with grave importance, unaware of your history, and the forced smile he offers you almost looks embarrassed.

You know Dr. Lee is still hammering away, probably giving you a stern talking-to for rejecting his request the first time, but you can’t tear your eyes away from Seungcheol. Feels like the world around you has reduced to a pinhead, all hyperfocus; feels like your lungs are sucking in stale air one at a time.

“...his father is a very good friend of mine, so I expect…”

You expected to feel nothing. Seungcheol had left to chase his dream—one you’d always been so supportive of that it sometimes felt like your dream, too—and, perhaps naively, you thought the distance and the years would’ve been enough. You expected your heart to have hardened. You expected all those nights you spent crying to hit you at full force. You expected anger, hurt—indifference, at the very least.

“...as many hours per week as you both can manage…”

But you should’ve known better. Should’ve expected the butterflies, the way your palms grow clammy, the way your heart rate spikes. Should’ve expected everything to feel upside-down. You should’ve expected to look at Seungcheol and feel sixteen and in love all over again.

“...you are responsible for his academic progress…”

And that simply will not do. You’ve spent the last few years pulling yourself out of that hole, clawing your way back to something resembling normal. You’ve purged the thought of him from your mind—let his scent fade from your sheets, an old sweatshirt he’d left behind; forgot the way his lips felt against every inch of your skin; forgot the way his entire being lit up when he laughed; forgot the safety he encompassed, the way he whispered all those sweet nothings.

You cannot go there again.

So you roll your shoulders back, smile politely. Say, “Ah, kyosu-nim, Choi Seungcheol-ssi seems very intelligent, I’m sure he is capable of being responsible for his own academic standing, don’t you think?”

Dr. Lee cannot disagree without all but calling Seungcheol an idiot, so he hovers before you in shocked silence. Makes a show of huffing and checking his watch, like he’s all of a sudden remembered he’s late for something and being inconvenienced by this conversation he started, and then he’s halfway out of the library with a terse, “Discuss and figure this out amongst yourselves,” thrown over his shoulder.

You have an entire dramatic exit planned in your head. Gather your things, fake a phone call that makes you sound authoritative and important, and brush past Seungcheol wearing your nicest perfume as if all of this is so far beneath you you can’t even bring yourself to care about it.

Of course, you actually have to brush by him for any of that to happen, and since you’ve already decided you will not go there again, you quickly scribble your email address onto a piece of paper and slide it across the table at Seungcheol, who has steadfastly remained planted just outside the door. “Here’s my email. I don’t have time to discuss this right now.” Seungcheol cocks an eyebrow. You start throwing things into your bag haphazardly. You know you look frantic and affected, but there’s not much you can do about that. “What? Send me a copy of your syllabus and what you want to prioritize. It’ll be easier to get through this if we have a plan instead of winging it.”

He seems to catch on to your distaste because he mirrors it. Scoffs as he rolls his eyes and says, “Yeah, no use spending more time together than we have to,” and if you hadn’t gone years without speaking, you would’ve seen right through it.

But you did, so it stings all the same.

As it typically does, the planet keeps spinning after your run-in with Seungcheol.

You grade Dr. Ahn’s coursework. Try running off your anxiety at the gym, even though it’s pretty good at keeping pace with you these days. You meet Kaori’s maybe-boyfriend sneaking out of your apartment early in the morning and he has the good sense not to mention your ex, but you chalk that up to the mess of hickeys covering his neck and not any sense of social decorum.

Other people’s embarrassment saves you a ton of your own, you’ve come to learn.

Throughout all of this, Seungcheol only emails you once to send you his course syllabus. Doesn’t mention tutoring or provide you with his schedule or ask for yours, so when you’re sitting in a bar with your friends, three or four drinks deep and feeling a little petty, you forward him the original tutoring request and make sure to bold, underline, and highlight the “Recommended Tutoring: High” part for good measure.

He doesn’t take your bait—electronically, at least—but he does show up to your office hours the following Tuesday.

Bag tossed onto the floor, he flops unceremoniously into the chair across from you and says, in lieu of a greeting, “They spelled your name wrong. On the door thing.”

“I know,” you reply, your smile polite and terse. Incredible how he has the ability to raise your blood pressure in milliseconds. “What can I help you with?”

“Depends. How long do you have?”

“Well, considering you’ve shown up to my office hours on time, I’m assuming you already know I’m here every Tuesday and Thursday from four to six. So”—you glance at the clock above the door—“assuming no one comes by who needs my help more than you do, you have approximately one hour and fifty-eight minutes.”

Seungcheol is quiet for a moment as he takes you in. His stare is weighted; it makes you feel a little green around the edges. Clinical and sharp, so far removed from the way he used to look at you. You clear your throat. “I looked over your syllabus. The good news is there’s only a midterm and a final and the rest is problem sets. The bad news is there’s only a midterm and a final so they’re weighted quite heavily. You really need to know this stuff inside-out to have any hope of passing.”

“That’s why you’re here, right? Dr. Lee specifically requested you.”

You huff a breath through your nose. “I’m here as supplemental help. I can’t take your exams or do your readings for you. What else are you taking this semester?”

He sighs, sinking further into the chair, very much playing the part of the heir who has no interest in any of this. Which… is unlike him, you think, if you’re even allowed to. The Seungcheol you knew years ago took everything so seriously. Never clipped corners or took shortcuts. Anyone else would think him a spoiled, petulant child. “Business Accounting and International Trade.”

“Could be worse,” you note. “At least those three courses are tangentially related.”

Seungcheol rolls his eyes. “Easy for you to say. I haven’t taken a fucking math class in years.”

You return it. “You remember how to add and subtract, don’t you?”

“I ruptured my ACL, not my…” He trails off, looking a little embarrassed that he can’t name a part of the—“Brain.”

Whatever you were going to quip back with dies on your tongue. It's the first time Seungcheol has broached the topic of his injury—the first you’re hearing of it at all, actually—and he says it like it’s a joke, like it’s not a thing at all, but the pain is all over his face. The bitterness of the situation he’s found himself in. The unfairness of it all.

And there are so many questions you want to ask that aren’t your place: if it’s fixable, if he’ll ever play again, how he’s coping. But you don’t really need to—you can’t imagine how you’d feel if someone suddenly pulled the rug out from under you. If everything contained within the four walls of your office suddenly disappeared.

Not that the man sitting across from you hadn’t already done that, but.

“Right,” you continue, as if he hadn’t said anything at all. You know Seungcheol—know he wouldn’t want you prodding, sticking your fingers in that particular wound. “I want you to take a look at this,” you say, handing over a printout you have saved from your undergrad tutoring days. “Tell me what looks familiar, what doesn’t; what does and doesn’t make sense.”

He looks down at the paper. Back up at you. Down at the paper again. “What the fuck is this?”

“I—what? Cheol, it’s my old notes on recitation. Surely you’ve already covered this—the syllabus says this is week one stuff.” He looks down at the paper again, and it’s so familiar, watching the life drain entirely from someone’s eyes.

You barely resist the urge to slam your face onto your desk a second time.

You meet Seungcheol at the sports center for your next tutoring session.

He likes the humidity and the smell of the chlorine by the pool. He also likes that it’s not the football pitch, so the two of you sit in the bleachers there and go over his lecture notes. Much to your surprise, Seungcheol talks a mile a minute. Has stars in his eyes when he says he finally understands elastic demand curves, supply shock; tells you he spent a whole hour making flashcards.

It’s the first time you’ve seen him so excited since your tutoring began—the first glimmer of hope you’ve felt since Dr. Lee cornered you in your library hideaway. None of this surprises you. Seungcheol has always been smart, even when football was his primary (and sometimes only) focus. He has more determination and grit than anyone you’ve ever met, so you’re not surprised he’s doing well, excelling, but you are surprised—

“Can I ask you something?” Seungcheol shrugs, shoves half a protein bar in his mouth and swallows without chewing. “Why are you… uh. Here?”

“At this university?”

“Not exactly. I mean, I am wondering about that, but I guess… why business?”

Seungcheol hums. Tucks his good knee to his chest and stares down at the pool. No one’s using it, and truthfully the two of you probably aren’t even allowed to be here, but you understand why he likes it. It’s nowhere near as secluded as the library and definitely not as air conditioned, but it is peaceful. Calm. The water laps against the coping in quiet, small waves.

“Ah, I don’t know. You know how it goes.”

You quirk an eyebrow. Never, in all the years you’ve known him, has Seungcheol done anything he didn’t want to do. All that grit and determination. “What about your father, then? Dr. Lee mentioned this was a favor to him. He’s a pretty important person to have in your Rolodex of favors.”

Doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see what this is: Seungcheol’s father has new money; worked from the bottom up, made some smart investment decisions that finally panned out after Seungcheol left for Seoul. Started doing his own thing, made a name for himself. Last you’d heard from your mother, Seungcheol’s brother was second-in-command. Hell, even your own brother did an internship there.

So you know what this is: a father helping his son after his dream was shattered, life turned upside-down. You can’t blame him, even if you’ve heard the whispers from all the way across campus. That Seungcheol is washed up now, trying to nepo his way into his father’s company because of it; that all he knows is sports and he should’ve stuck to that, what does he know about business, why is he the one Dr. Lee went out of his way to help.

Doesn’t stop any of them from smiling at him, though; doesn’t stop them from asking for autographs or selfies.

But you also know this isn’t something Seungcheol seems willing to discuss, so you crack a joke—“I mean, business. God, who’d wanna go into that?”—and go back to what he was willing to talk about.

You’ve never hated elastic demand curves so much in your life.

Deep in the throes of tutoring—when you can’t tell if it’s week two or week twelve—you make it back to your apartment just before ten, head pounding.

The door flies open just as you’re about to punch in the code, and there stands Ken, looking far more put-off than you’ve ever seen him. Looks defeated, if you’re being honest, like someone mopped up all his emotions and wrung them out like dirty dishwater.

“Oh, hi,” you say hesitantly. The man in front of you seems too much like a caged animal to let your guard down. “Everything okay?”

He aborts a nod halfway. Mutters an apology as he brushes by you and stalks down the hall, disappearing around the corner to the elevators. Usually he’s a talker—you haven’t been able to avoid a Seungcheol-related conversation in weeks—so you’re a little stunned. Stand there stupidly for a while, and that’s where Kaori finds you a moment later.

“You gonna stand out here all night, or…?”

“Oh—yeah, right.”

You follow her inside. Toe off your shoes and put them in the rack. Focus on the sound of the kettle whistling instead of the overbearing tension in the room. Drop your bag off in your room, throw on a sweatshirt three sizes too big and a comfy pair of socks. Rummage through the fridge for leftovers, contemplate what mindless show you’ll watch as you eat, and you do not, under any circumstances, ask Kaori what happened.

You don’t have to. You knew what this was going to be the first time Ken spent the night—the way he looked mortified to be meeting you in the shared kitchen at seven a.m., wearing a look that begged you not to tell your roommate he was sneaking out.

I, uh, have an early class, he’d said. You know how it is.

Maybe you should’ve called him on it then. Issued a warning-but-not-really. She’ll get attached if you don’t tell her. She should know it’s different for you, if it is.

But you’d convinced yourself it wasn’t your place. Kaori wouldn’t want you in her business like that, so you stayed quiet, just nodded before watching him slip his shoes on and close the door behind him so quietly you wouldn’t have known he left at all if you hadn’t been looking. Gone, just like a ghost.

So, yeah, you know exactly why your roommate looks haunted.

“I’m a few episodes behind on this if you want to watch with me,” you offer, pointing at the television with the remote. It’s a lie—you’ve never watched this show a day in your life, which Kaori seems to know—but she contemplates it nonetheless. “Also, my mom mailed us some cookies. I think they’re in the fridge.”

“Why are there cookies in the fridge?”

You huff a laugh. “They were outside the door this morning before I left for campus. I don’t know—just saw who the package was from and was like, oh, this must go in the fridge.”

She nods. Grabs the container and joins you on the couch. Sticks her feet beneath your butt and doesn’t mention a thing.

The closest she comes is a few days later. Catches you right before you head out to campus and asks how tutoring is going.

“Not bad, actually.”

Her smile doesn’t reach her eyes when she says, “That’s good. I’m glad things are going well for you two.”

Lee Chan, Sophomore makes his unexpected return at your office hours on an unsuspecting Tuesday.

“Can I help you?”

He doesn’t answer right away, just helps himself to the seat across from you. “Maybe,” comes his cryptic retort. “I was thinking about signing up for that crypto course next semester.”

You narrow your eyes. “No, you weren’t.”

He sighs. Looks a little panicked, like he can’t believe that didn’t work. “You’re right, you’re right. I, um—I wanted to come say thank you.” He pauses. “You know, for that… email you sent.”

You blink. “No, you didn’t.”

Lee Chan, Sophomore cracks immediately. Thunks his head on your desk and lets loose a pained sound. It nearly sounds like he’s wailing when he says, “I’m sorry! They put me up to it!”

What you’re able to piece together is this: Lee Chan, Sophomore has become a bit of a celebrity in the Student Services department ever since he met you, Choi Seungcheol’s tutor. And, like any smart, previously unpopular university student would do, he took advantage of it. Might’ve stretched the truth a little to make it sound like he knew more than he did, so now here he is, angling for information the girls with the photocards may or may not have paid him to get.

“They want to know about his girlfriend.”

“His what?”

What you’re able to piece together is also this: the Photocard Girls are certain Seungcheol is dating someone, based on little more than vibes. You suspect these vibes are their three degrees of separation, considering there was an abnormal amount of Change of Major files formed after his enrollment, but you tell Lee Chan that you don’t know anything and, even if you did, you wouldn’t put his business out there like that.

But some part of you still has this inexplicable urge to protect Seungcheol, so you match their offer with interest and tell him to say there’s nothing to report—not that you didn’t know, not that he couldn’t get anything out of you. Seungcheol isn’t dating anyone.

You don’t know if it’s true, but you figure that if it isn’t, he still deserves privacy.

Which is a notion you have trouble explaining a few hours later, when Seungcheol strolls into your office with a grease-stained paper bag full of cheese coin bread, offering one to you with a proud smile that drops slowly when you just stare in return.

“What’s wrong?”

Your mouth opens, closes, opens again. Nothing comes out, even though it should be simple. Some sophomore kid was just in here angling for information or the Student Services department is taking bets on whether or not you have a girlfriend would both suffice, but you cannot bring yourself to say the words.

What you settle on is, “Sorry, I just… had an interesting meeting before you got here.”

“Oh. Are you okay?”

You sigh. Tilt your head back to stare up at the ceiling. “It was about you, actually.”

Seungcheol chokes, starts stuttering over words you can’t make sense of. Says, “Me? Why? I passed my last exam—I mean, barely, but I still passed. And that wasn’t your fault! I didn’t study enough! I’ve been losing my mind over my International Trade class, that shit sucks—”

“It wasn’t about your grades, Cheol.”

“Oh.” Then, slowly, a lopsided, pleased smile overtakes his face. “Haven’t heard you call me Cheol in a while.”

“Seungcheol,” you correct.

He seems to forget all about the meeting. Tries again to offer you a coin bread before he threatens to eat them all himself, so you acquiesce mostly to shut him up, say you’ll bring the extras to Kaori. For some reason, you tell him about how much she’d loved the cookies your mom sent, and the nostalgia sets him off, gets him talking again, asking if they were the yakgwa she used to make when you two were kids.

They were, but you can’t seem to tell him that, either.

Seungcheol: sorry it’s last minute - running late. can you meet me at my place instead?

Seungcheol shared a location with you

You’re halfway to replying—I don’t think that’s appropriate—before you sigh and delete it. Midterms are only a few days away and you don’t have time to argue over where your tutoring sessions will be, so if Seungcheol wants to meet at his apartment that’s where you’ll meet him.

You read over the midterm notes on the train. Once, twice, and then a hundred more times until they’re nearly memorized, all so you can ignore the voice in the back of your head saying what a bad idea this is. That you have no business being on your way to your ex’s swanky part of town or integrating yourself into his life beyond tutoring at all. You shouldn’t know where he lives. Maybe you shouldn’t even have his phone number or answer his texts.

Not that there’s much you can do about it now, two stops away.

Seungcheol greets you warmly, if not a little rushed. Apologizes for the mess once you step inside, although it’s less “mess” and more “haven’t finished unpacking,” but there’s enough clear space to study at the dining table, so that’s where you set up, determined to keep things professional.

“Sorry again about this,” Seungcheol says, placing a can of cola in front of you as he takes the seat across. “I had to meet with my father and lost track of time, I guess.”

“Oh. How’s he doing?”

Seungcheol sighs, leans further back in the chair as runs a hand through his hair. A light brown, now. “Same as he always was, I guess. Talked about the business, about my brother. Can’t get him to shut up about that stuff most of the time.”

“The business is doing good, though.” You cough, clear your throat. “My, uh. My brother interned there during undergrad. I don’t know if your father told you that.”

You don’t know why you say it, because it’s clear from the brief flicker of pain on Seungcheol’s face that he hadn’t known, that no one had told him. And it hurts you too that they felt the need to keep it a secret, to protect Seungcheol from you even in tangential ways.

“He didn’t,” he admits, “but I’m sure he was happy to see him. He was, uh—he was glad to hear you’re my tutor. Said you were always smarter than all of us boys combined.”

You laugh. Hope it sounds casual instead of strained. “Well, no need to prove him right. Come on,” you say, tossing a study guide in his direction, “let’s get to work.”

Everything is alright for a while—nearly an hour at least. He has the formulas memorized and attributed to the correct equations. He can explain supply and demand, preference and utility, but things start to fall apart around budget constraints and constrained choice.

The formulas get mixed up. He grows frustrated when he doesn’t know the answers to your questions right away. Rolls his eyes and gets a little snappy when you correct him, try to explain things differently in a way he understands. At first he’s able to temper it, collect himself before things truly start spiraling out of control, but the longer the two of you sit there the more it all unravels.

He snaps, you snap back, and you can’t figure out why. You’ve survived this long in Seungcheol’s orbit even though you never thought you’d be around him again, and perhaps it was bound to explode eventually, but…

It’s the familiarity, you realize.

You and Seungcheol aren’t friends, though you’ve been playing at it for weeks now: meeting outside of the library or your office, the personal conversations bordering on reminiscing, being in his personal space. You don’t belong here. You don’t want to be his friend—you can’t be, not for real or pretend.

“That’s not what I’m say—”

“Then explain it better,” Seungcheol fires at you, eyebrows creasing. “You’re the tutor here.”

You roll your eyes. “I’m trying, okay? All I meant was—your answer isn’t wrong, but I know Dr. Lee and he’s going to want more than that in a response.”

“Right—not good enough, like I said.”

“I’m just asking you to expand on your answer—”

“And I’m telling you that’s all I’ve got. I’m not like you, all right? I don’t have all this shit just floating around in my head all the time. I’m not smart, I barely have any idea what’s going on half the time, and you sitting here being condescending about it is doing fuck-all to help.”

You inhale sharply, taken aback at the hostility in his voice. Suggest calling it for the night, say neither of you will be productive if you keep going like this, and neither of you bother to apologize.

So much of your relationship with Seungcheol was marred by clichés.

The two of you passing notes back and forth during class. You in the bleachers of all his games, screaming along to the team chants, waving a sign around with his name on it. Not realizing you had a crush on him at all until he liked someone else and it made your stomach hurt. Childhood friends turned lovers.

Another cliché: that it’s starting to feel like that all over again.

Seungcheol sits across from you in the library, econ textbook cracked in half in front of him as he pays no attention. Keeps grabbing his phone each time it vibrates across the table. Can’t fight the smile that forces its way onto his face when he reads whatever’s there.

Stupid, you think—both to do this and to think it’d play out any other way. Seungcheol left years ago. Probably lived ten lifetimes while he was away while you were here in this exact spot doing this exact thing. Barely lived half a life, just stuck your nose in textbooks and forced your way through.

“Cheol,” you say, trying to drag his attention back to the study guide. No use. He’s typing away, presses his tongue into the fat of his cheek as he responds. “Seungcheol,” you try again.

Also fruitless.

You have no claim here, you remind yourself—not to his time, not to him. He’s only here because someone else mandated it. You’re only here because someone else mandated it, but it stings all the same. Another reminder of what used to be, of what ended regardless of what you wanted. Another reminder that the role you used to play in his life is not the role you play now. That the space you used to take up created a vacancy, and eventually it was going to be filled.

And if this was anyone other than Seungcheol, if you were more emotionally evolved when it came to him, it wouldn’t gnaw at you as much. All of this would roll off your shoulders.

But it isn’t, and you’re not.

“If you’re not going to listen, then—”

“I am listening,” he interjects, but he’s not looking at you. Not looking at his textbook or his study guide. Keeps laughing and smiling at his phone, and it’s sick how bothered you are by it. That it feels like your stomach’s been turned inside-out with jealousy; with annoyance, because you don’t want to be here anyway, don’t want to do this anymore, and you’re wasting your time on someone who doesn’t appreciate it.

Perhaps he never did.

“What are we discussing, then?”

Still not looking up: “Consumer theory.”

You laugh—more a huff of air than anything, grin sardonically out of one corner of your mouth. Seungcheol sees none of it. “Wrong,” you answer, already expecting the way he shrugs it off. “I’m gonna skip ahead a few chapters, though. Consider it a freebie for your business class.”

It must be your tone that finally grabs his attention. Cutting, precise, purposeful. Seungcheol lowers his phone, quirks an eyebrow, wonders where this is going to go. It’s clear he’s pissed you off, that you’re itching for a fight. It’s clear the years of silence are finally coming to a head.

“Let’s talk about ROI. You know what that is?” You barely give him a second. “Return on investment. A performance measure used to evaluate the efficiency of an investment or compare the efficiency of several investments. So, let’s say I make one-hundred-thousand won on a ten-thousand won investment: my ROI is 90%. Are you following?”

He nods.

“Great, now let’s try something a bit more hypothetical.” You suck in a breath. “Let’s say I invest years of my adolescence into someone. A friend at first and then something more. Let’s say I played cheerleader, supported every hope and dream he had—went to every game, cheered him on, helped him practice his English. Held his hand and talked him down when the pressure felt overwhelming, when the only thing that felt inevitable was failure. Now, let’s say all I got in return was a stuttered, awkward apology as he dumped me and walked out the door. Let’s say that guy showed up again after years of silence just to once again waste my fucking time.”

The thing about pain is it’s not linear. What hurt five, ten years ago might not hurt today, but it might tomorrow; what hurt yesterday may never hurt again. The thing about pain is it lets you stick your head in the sand until it can’t anymore, and that’s where you are now: that window of time between Seungcheol walking out the door on the assumption you’d never see him again before he bulldozed his way back into your life has been slammed closed, locked up tight.

So you don’t even notice you’re crying until the room goes deathly silent and you can hear the drip drip drip of tears on paper. Until you watch Seungcheol’s hands flex and unflex in mid-air, stuck in that liminal space, wanting to reach out but knowing he has no right to. Until your chest aches so bad you’re sure you’re either about to break into stardust or cease to exist.

Until you say, “What, Choi Seungcheol, would you say my fucking return on investment was?” and he has nothing to say at all.

Kaori invites you to a party.

Just something small to celebrate the end of midterms and a classmate’s birthday. Nothing out of control or raucous, not even the kind of thing that’d earn a second glance from campus security. I won’t even make fun of you if you leave before eleven, is how she sold it to you, in addition to a small amount of begging and bargaining and a powerful set of puppy-dog eyes.

After everything the two of you have been through, you find it hard to say no.

So here you are, nearly eleven o’clock on a Friday, a cup of cheap beer in hand. A friend of a friend of a friend is wailing into a karaoke machine and although your ears are bleeding, it does feel nice for that to be your greatest worry. You aren’t thinking about your classes or how you’ve been prioritizing everyone else’s academic success. You aren’t thinking about whatever’s going on between Kaori and Ken. You aren’t thinking about Seungcheol.

At least you aren’t, until he walks through the door.

You’re going to continue not thinking about him at all—not about the fact he’s alone or how good he looks in a simple black T-shirt that’s a little taut in the shoulders. You’re not going to think about the way the air shifts, like the universe knows he’s important and is willing to accommodate. You’re not going to think about how Kaori catches your eye across the room, recognizes him from all her internet searches, and the way she mouths oh my god he’s so beefy at you.

You’re not going to think about how guilty you feel that she doesn’t know, because if you do you’re certain it’ll take over.

You watch Seungcheol work the room; watch as he floats between conversations, as strangers fall over themselves at the sight of him. How eager everyone is to give him something and how reluctant he is to take them. You watch as he winds up in the same circle as Kaori and how she must mention you, oh, your tutor is my roommate, because there’s a question in return before he turns and meets your gaze.

You wonder why the distance between you feels more insurmountable now than ever before.

Seungcheol finds you in your office.

It’s not a Tuesday or a Thursday, far later than four to six in the evening, but he doesn’t even bother knocking before he’s barreling in, stifling your space with his bad energy.

You haven’t seen him in nearly two weeks. Not since the party, if that even counts. Hasn’t bothered to reply to any of your texts or emails, and that was just fine by you, if that’s how he wanted to act, but it isn’t until he’s brooding on the other side of your desk that you realize you’re still aggrieved, too. Feels a little too familiar, him leaving you behind and in the dark.

So you don’t mean to—typically have much more professionalism than this—but when he tosses a stapled stack of papers with a barely-passing grade on your desk and says, “This is your fault,” the words come automatically and without forethought.

“Fuck off, Seungcheol.” It’s not your words that take him by surprise; more so the roll of your eyes, the accompanying huff. The impression that all of this is beneath you and nothing more than a mere annoyance. That however affected you were two weeks ago is not how affected you are anymore. “That’s what happens when you blow off your tutoring for two weeks because you’re a coward.”

He laughs, incredulous; unable to help the sound the tumbles out of his mouth. “I’m a—I’m a coward?”

“Yes,” you reply, tone giving away nothing. All he sees is feigned nonchalance despite the hurricane you feel brewing beneath the surface. “This,” you continue, pinching the corner of the paper between your fingertips and disposing of it in the trashcan beneath your desk, “is all on you, but do please let me know if there’s anything else you’d like to blame me for. I’m all ears.”

You don’t miss it: the way Seungcheol’s eyes grow wide at your ‘I’m all.’ The way he thinks you’re going to punctuate that sentence with yours, and it nearly has bile rising in your throat. Makes you want to scream, rip at your hair. If the last few months have taught you anything, it’s that you are still hopelessly in love with the man across from you—the man that continues to leave before he’s left, always at your expense.

So, yeah—Seungcheol is a coward, but only when it comes to you.

But he doesn’t look much like one now, gripping so hard at the edge of your desk that his knuckles have gone white, baseball cap pulled down low enough his eyes are barely visible. He’s always been overwhelming, always carried himself with an exaggerated arrogance even when it wasn’t warranted, always took everything so seriously, and maybe that’s why you’d thought he’d treat you the same way. Take you seriously. Wouldn’t just throw it all away on a maybe thing, and that’s why it's been years and you still aren’t over it.

Maybe Seungcheol is a coward, and maybe so are you.

Because not once since he’s been back have you been able to say what you mean. Can’t seem to tell him about the anger, the hurt, the heartbreak. Played it all off as petty nonchalance because you foolishly thought that would hurt him, that you’ve been reduced to simmering ash, no hope left for a fire.

“I could never blame you for a goddamn thing,” he says, voice so deep you could drown in it.

You so desperately want to know. You don’t want to know anything at all. You want Seungcheol to explain everything to you in detail and spoil the ending, but only if it’s guaranteed to be happy. Enduring another loss like the first time—you’re not sure you can take it. Not after you two have crossed paths like this, because you’ve never quite believed in fate but you think that has to mean something. That so much time and life had transpired and you two came back together.

Today, though, it doesn’t look like you’re going to get any answers.

Seungcheol straightens, looms at full height. Digs into the pocket of his sweatpants and pulls out a thumb drive. Wordlessly, he hands it over, and then he’s gone just as abruptly as he’d arrived.

Again.

Kaori wants to spend the weekend moping, and you can’t come up with a good reason not to join her.

She doesn’t mention Ken once. Not when she’s sobbing over A Silent Voice and Toradora! after that. Not when she keeps glancing at her phone every couple minutes to see if she has any texts. Not when you—only halfway paying attention between grading and your own assignments—suggest ordering something for delivery, maybe that new burger place down the street you heard was good, and Kaori shuts it down so vehemently you can only assume it was Ken’s favorite place.

Kaori just cries over the man with the big dick she never expected to take so seriously, and not even your stonewalling makes her feel ashamed of it.

And there’s respectability in that kind of openness and vulnerability. At least whatever she’s feeling is honest; at least she can admit she’s sad. You think watching Kaori process her breakup might help you process yours too, years too late, so you suck in a breath and ask, “Can I tell you something or is now not a good time?”

Kaori looks over at you. Dabs a soggy tissue at her eyes. “Well, I guess it depends,” is her answer, and she doesn’t shy away from how waterlogged her voice sounds. “If you’re going to tell me you’re a Takasu and Kawashima shipper, maybe, but if it’s anything worse I’m not sure I could take it.”

“I—what? Who even are they?” She gives you a half-hearted thumbs up. You sigh in response, sink further into the couch. “It’s, uh.” Clear your throat. “Do you remember when we met sophomore year? At that party? And I told you I wasn’t looking for anything and you said, and I quote, why not, I have a sixth sense for this kind of thing and I know that guy will have a huge—”

She hides her face behind her hands. “Ew, god, yes I remember that. My dick whisperer era. How embarrassing.”

“Right. And I told you I wasn’t looking for anything because I’d just gotten out of something.”

“Not really by choice, if I remember correctly. I told you if it was quiet it should’ve been loud, and then you never talked about it again.”

You nod. “I—yeah, that sounds like something I would’ve said.” You suck in a deep breath. “Listen, this is probably gonna sound bad considering I did never talk about it again, but—”

“Hey,” Kaori says, nudging you with her foot. Meant to be comforting, somehow. “It’s okay. There’s a lot you don’t know about me, too… most of which I’m not sure you should, actually.”

A laugh forces its way out, gives you a nice reprieve from the anxiety of the conversation you’re about to have. The need to explain it all, the need for advice. Maybe it’s not her—or anyone else’s—business, but you think you’ve kept this to yourself long enough. You and Seungcheol loved each other, once, and it seems foolish that no one knows.

Maybe Kaori had been right. Maybe love should be shouted from the rooftops; exist out in the open. Maybe something hidden in the shadows can never thrive in the light, and you knew it back then, deep down, but now it seems so obvious.

You think back to a few days before the library. Think about how things didn’t feel good but they felt okay. Think about the frustrated crease between Seungcheol’s eyebrows as he stared down at his textbook and how all you’d wanted to do was smooth it. Think about how you’d rolled your lips and tried not to laugh; how you thought it’d take a miracle to help Seungcheol pass this class.

Think about: What is the difference between the short-run and the long-run from the perspective of production theory?

Think about the short-run of your and Seungcheol’s relationship—that you’d burned bright and fast, even though it’d felt like a million years. Hadn’t dared to consider the long-run because anything beyond that bubble felt impossible.

Think about: Which of the following is not a property of isoquants?

Think about the way Seungcheol’s eyes lit up when he knew the answer. That they’re always linear, he said, and you smiled at his enthusiasm, raised your hand to high-five him and dropped it when he hadn’t noticed.

You think about the explanation—isoquants can be linear when inputs are perfectly substitutable—and what those graphs look like. Downward sloping, left to right. Think about how the graphs change when the isoquants are perfect complements.

L-shaped. Less straight as the inputs become poorer substitutes.

You know what your and Seungcheol’s graph would’ve looked like back then.

So it’s easy, almost, to tell Kaori everything. You tell her about growing up in Daegu, about the smell of the azaleas at Biseulsan in the spring. You tell her about how your parents had befriended the neighbors, how they had a kid your age, that that kid was Seungcheol—yes, that Seungcheol.

She’s able to anticipate the rest from there, but you fill in the blanks of what she can’t: being sixteen and falling in love, holding hands, the clandestine notes. All those football matches and how your throat would be hoarse from cheering. How nauseous you’d felt applying to university in Seoul, how excited you were when Seungcheol said he was coming with you. That, after you arrived, it felt like you were living in fast-forward. Barely any time to breathe or adjust; no time to just be you and Seungcheol. You had to be a student, someone responsible; Seungcheol had to be a phenom.

“Could you feel it was going to happen?” Kaori asks, now sat ramrod straight, all her attention on you. “Like, did you know?”

“I don’t know,” you admit. “Maybe I did? It’s hard to say now, all this time later. I know things definitely felt different, like life was pulling us in opposite directions.” You laugh, bitterness coloring the edges. “You couldn’t go two blocks without seeing him on some billboard, and I was just… normal, you know? I wasn’t some rising star athlete like he was, I just went to my classes. How was I supposed to compete with something like that?”

Your roommate hums, leans back into the pillows as she stares up at the ceiling. “I don’t think you were. Maybe that’s why Seungcheol was worried—maybe he felt like you were losing your own identity feeling like you had to keep up.”

You want to push back, argue that you weren’t, that you didn’t, but the truth is that it’s possible. That the shadows created by Seungcheol’s dreams were so massive you wouldn’t be surprised if they unintentionally swallowed you up. “It still wasn’t his choice to make,” you say, voice barely above a whisper.

And Kaori already knows all about your hurt, listened as you explained it all and laid everything bare. So when she says, “Sometimes that’s just how it goes, though, babe,” it doesn’t feel condescending. “We do the best we can with what we’ve got at the time. You can say now it wasn’t Seungcheol’s choice to make, because it’s been almost five years and you’ve made a life for yourself separate from him. But the—god, this is gonna sound so patronizing, I am so sorry—but you guys were so young. No one has it all figured out at that age.”

She snorts, runs a hand through her messy hair. “Shit, I’m nearly halfway to thirty and I still don’t know anything.” Adopts a frown. “What do you want now? Do you want closure? Want to try to fix things and become friends?”

“I don’t know,” you admit, biting at a hangnail. “He actually, um. The other day when he stopped by my office, he left me a USB drive? And before you ask, no I did not already look at it.”

“A USB drive? Who does this guy think he is, James Bond?” A pause. “Are you gonna look at it, though?”

You do.

Not until the silver, midnight light creeps in through your bedroom curtains and you’ve stared at the ceiling long enough; waited long enough for texts that never came, for divine intervention to, well, intervene. It never did—fair enough—so you decide to take fate by the reins. Grab your laptop, instant headache from the screen, stick the drive into the port.

It takes a second for it to load, but when it does: dozens of videos, organized by date. Vlogs, by the look of them—some from before your breakup but the majority of them from after.

You’re not sure what you expected, but it wasn’t this.

You click on the first one: a month and a half before both of you moved to Seoul. A fresh-faced Seungcheol appears on your screen, cheeks still round with adolescence. He’s in his room back in Daegu, can’t get the camera angle right. Nostalgia hits you like a ton of bricks as it pans to the side, to the wall behind his bed, and you see all his old posters. Mostly football players you couldn’t name, some girl group he used to love, a few movies. Just below them are some of the notes you’d written him in school, and they’re all you can focus on as he talks about how excited he is for the move.

The next: a few weeks after you’d started classes. By then, Seungcheol was well into the swing of things with Seoul FC. Already a big fish in a small pond, tryout offers from European teams starting to roll in. You can hear yourself in the background stressing over your first exam, wishing a generational curse upon your calculus professor. In the video, Seungcheol laughs, whispers like he’s telling the camera a secret as he talks about how nervous he is for his future. I don’t know why, he says, but it just feels like everything is about to change.

There’s a long pause between that one and the next. You understand why when you look at the date: three months after your breakup. Your hands hover uselessly above your keyboard. Whatever answers you’ve been looking for the last few years are probably in this video, but you can’t bring yourself to open it. Not right away, at least.

You click on a different one at random. Seungcheol’s somewhere in Europe, judging from the language on the signs behind him. Snow falls quietly—whenever he filmed this, it must’ve been early. No one else is around, and he cracks a joke that it’s a good thing, people would probably think he was crazy if they saw him. He doesn’t tell you where he’s going but he narrates the entire walk: points out a cafe he’s grown to love. The way to get to his practice stadium from where he’s standing. Pauses near a restaurant and laughs ruefully, shakes his head, says, I don’t know why I’m telling you this, but one of my teammates set me up on a blind date here and I got stood up. You’d probably think that was funny.

(You do. It also makes your chest ache.)

One from two years ago: Seungcheol in a hotel room, clearly nervous. He raises his hand to wave at the camera and you can see the corners of his nails bitten raw. Dark circles beneath his eyes; cheekbones more pronounced than you’ve ever seen them. On the screen, Seungcheol sighs, rakes a hand through freshly-bleached hair. Sucks in a deep breath as he says, I’m so nervous. I’m so—so fucking nervous and I don’t. Fuck, I don’t know what to do. I want to call you because you always knew what to say but that’s so fucking selfish. God, we haven’t spoken in years, and it’s my—that’s my fault, I know, so I brought this all on myself. I just want to hear your voice.

Another from a week after that: the color’s returned to his face, and he’s recording from what looks like a penthouse apartment. Sleek, modern; a small white dog napping on the bed beside him. He smiles, looks like he got his teeth fixed, looks like he’s no longer carrying around the weight of the world. Talks endlessly and excitedly about some tournament. Talks so fast you can barely keep up. Talks around words tinged with languages you don’t understand.

Seungcheol wins a championship. Records a drunk vlog from the same night, hair soaked through with god-knows-what—water, champagne, you don’t know. But he looks radiant. Looks like the culmination of two decades of dreaming. He looks happy, free, at peace. He looks like the reason he let you go, why he had to go away.

You scroll to the bottom of the files. Pause at the last video, dated seven months before the term started.

“Hi,” he says, and you can immediately tell everything is all wrong. Seungcheol’s in the dark, face only visible enough to see the tears tracking on his cheeks. “This is going to be the last one of these I make. I don’t know if you, uh—I’m sure you aren’t paying attention to me—my career—anymore, but. I, um. I got hurt. Ruptured my ACL. They’re not sure I’ll…” A sob escapes him. Has you wanting to climb through the screen to hold him, thumb away his tears, tell him everything is going to be okay. “They don’t know if I’ll ever play again.”

Seungcheol no longer looks happy, free, at peace. “Maybe you’ll be happy to hear that,” he continues. “Maybe it’ll help you to know I threw away our relationship for nothing.”

Cut to black.

The sudden silence is deafening. Has you desperately clicking back to the video you’d skipped, the one from just after your breakup. Seungcheol looks the same in that one, too, like the life has been drained out of him.

I don’t know why I’m doing this. It’s not like I’ll ever show these to you now, since I…

I’m sure I owe you an explanation. To be honest, I don’t know what I’m doing, I just—things have been so hard, and I’m still trying to make sense of it all. I feel like my life went from zero to a hundred before I could even blink and now I’m scrambling. I didn’t think it was fair to—to drag you through that. Me being away, moving to an entirely different continent. I have faith we could do it, I just. I don’t know, baby, I don’t…

You deserve to have your own life. Be your own person. I’m so scared that the world will never see you for who you are—so beautiful and intelligent and kind. You don’t deserve to be reduced to my partner. And if you ever see this, I know you’re gonna roll your eyes. Probably call me a mean name because I took the choice away from you, because you think I’m trying to be selfless and heroic, and you’d be right. It’s not fair, and I wish I could tell you I’m sorry.

I wish I could just… pluck out my brain and give it to you, because even if it killed me to do it, at least it makes sense to me. And I don’t—I don’t want you to think I’m not hurting. I’ve been sick to my stomach since I left. I know I’m making a mistake, I know I am, I just—how do I do what I think is right in the long-run when it’s not what I want right now, or ever?

I don’t want to get over you. I don’t want you to get over me, and that’s how you know I’m not acting selflessly, because you should. I want you to always be happy, I just… wish it was with me.

So, I’m going to keep making these. I’m going to take you along for the ride, wherever it takes us, because you should be here but I can only hope you can one day understand why you’re not. I’m so—I’m so sorry, I don’t…

I’m sorry.

I love you.

You fall asleep and dream that you were the one meant to meet him at that restaurant.

The first thing you do is make a call to your mother.

“Could you send another container of yakgwa?”

On the other end of the line, your mother tuts, motherly intuition audibly kicking into overdrive. Is probably wearing that all-knowing, sly grin she always does when you try to be coy and evasive. “What happened to the last container I sent?”

“Ah, you know Kaori loves those. They barely lasted an hour after I told her what was in there.”

She hums an acknowledgement. Sounds like she takes a sip of tea. “I remember someone else being quite fond of those cookies, too.”

“Well, they are the most popular cookies in the country, so.”

After haranguing you into admitting they’re for Seungcheol and not your roommate, your mother promises to send them quickly. A few days at most, which buys you enough time to figure out how you’re going to approach the man in question.

The vlogs have turned your entire world upside-down. Answered questions you hadn’t even known you had. Took all that anger and resentment you’d been holding onto and set it free, and now you’re just left with… a void. Want to mend things, and it makes you wonder if such a thing is even possible, if it’s too late, but you don’t let those thoughts get very far.

Instead, you let them spur you into action. Have you sitting in front of your laptop at your desk, office hours long since over, silence creeping in the more the department empties. The thrum of the airconditioning and the tick-tick-tick of the clock are all the only company you have.

You worry if it’ll show on camera, how out of sorts you feel: sweating from the nerves, dabbing at your hairline; cheeks warm to the touch. But you suck in a breath anyway, steel yourself. Look at your webcam and the daunting red circle…

And start recording.

He hadn’t gotten it at first. Not really.

There’d been a container of yakgwa outside his door with his USB drive taped to the top of it. No note—not that he needed one to know who it was from, but he wasn’t sure what it was. A goodbye? A please fuck off forever and never contact me again?

He’d just taken them inside. Ate too many of the cookies while feeling sorry for himself. Maybe had a glass or two of wine to compound the issue, and never, ever considered contacting you. Didn’t think he could bear it if you never wanted to see him again, but he just…

Well, he was drunk and alone and he missed you, and he’d rewatched all those videos he recorded a million times before when he was like this, so what was a million and one?

It’d been the same as every time before: he smiled at the happy parts, cried at all his old wounds. Wanted to reach through the screen and strangle his past self for including that part about the blind date, because he never wanted to date anyone who wasn’t you, why would he say that, felt mortified at the thought of you watching that—

And then there it was.

All the way at the bottom. A new video. One that hadn’t been recorded by him—

Hi, Cheol, you say, and that’s all it takes to reduce him to a sobbing, yearning mess. I’m not sure what to say here. I don’t really record much—sometimes for lectures when the professors are too busy, but never anything personal like this, but I watched every single one you made for me and I thought I should return the favor.

I wanted to tell you everything I’ve been up to since you left, but it hasn’t been much. I got my degree. Tutored a lot in undergrad—the same thing I’m tutoring you in now, actually. I was good at it and it felt good to have something that was mine, you know? I almost moved for grad school. Thought for a while I was going to wind up in New York, but then my parents divorced and it felt like too much, too scary, so I stayed. Kaori also stayed, so we got an apartment together. It’s not much, definitely not as nice as your place, but it’s good enough.

I don’t think I ever told you, but she was seeing a guy for a bit and he was… obsessed with you, to say the least. Thought you were the coolest person in the world. They aren’t seeing each other anymore. Ended pretty badly, but—speaking of which, maybe steer clear of Student Services for a while, too.

Sometimes it felt like failure that I wound up staying here. That I had scholarships from all these far-away, prestigious places and didn’t take advantage of them. That I gave into my fear. And now… I don’t know. Maybe there’s a reason I stayed behind. Maybe there’s a reason you ended up back here, too.

Whatever happens—I don’t want you to think I still blame you. Kaori says we do the best we can with what we’ve got at the time, and I understand now that’s what you did. Even though it hurt me, you were trying to protect me. I get it now. And I’m sorry you had to go through all of that alone. I can’t imagine how hard it must’ve been to go to all these places you didn’t know. To have to deal with your injury, the loss of a dream.

You said in one of your videos that you just want me to be happy, and that’s all I want for you, too, whatever that looks like.

Here’s my address if you ever want to come by to talk.

I love you, too.

—and then he’d been up and out the door, feeling stone cold sober, running to the front of his building to wait for his ride.

Felt like the drive took hours. Must’ve hit every red light between his apartment and yours. Took the steps two at a time just to get to your door faster.

There’s a man already standing outside your door when he gets there. One that looks shocked to see him, stars in his eyes, and when Seungcheol says, “Oh, you must be Kaori’s ex,” he looks more like he wants the earth to swallow him whole. Embarrassed in front of his idol.

He knocks on your door and gets no response. Knocks again, harder this time, and he has to try really hard to stifle his laughter when your voice yells from the inside, “Fuck off, Kenji, I already told you she’s not here!”

“It’s me,” Seungcheol yells back.

There’s quiet again. Just enough time for it to feel like his heart is going to beat right out of his chest and follow Kaori’s ex down the hall.

Then you’re yanking the door open—slowly, so slowly, like you’re scared it’s not actually him. Your eyes are brimming with tears when they meet his own, and he doesn’t let himself think, just goes on instinct, when he grabs for you, hands on your cheeks, and presses his lips to yours.

Somehow you taste the same.

Somehow you taste like redemption.

You taste like home.

Seungcheol kisses you until the tears slow. Kisses you until the universe realigns, until he could map your mouth in the dark. Kisses you until all you’re all he knows again.

When he pulls away, you’re gripping at his sweatshirt, don’t want to let him go. He presses his forehead to yours, offers up a million more apologies, starts talking nonsense. Says he’s going to drop microeconomics, what the hell does he know, he barely has a passing grade anyway, what does it matter, he’s such an idiot—

And then you say, “You came back,” and nothing else matters.

“I always will.”

(Later on, as you’re trying to steady your breathing, slick with sweat, your thigh thrown over Seungcheol’s hip as he stares down at you, dopey smile on his face, you say, “Choi Seungcheol, don’t you dare drop that class. I have worked my ass off to get you to barely-passing.”)

if you’ve made it this far thank you so much for reading! i am still very new at writing for seventeen, so i hope this was acceptable. i'm now going to throw myself into the warped tour vernon fic and will hopefully not go another 7+ months without posting anything. 😭

i would love to hear your thoughts! <3

[gloomskulls]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚LIMERENCE [tasm!peter parker]

pairings: tasm!peter parker x reader

part 2

⇢ ˗ˏˋ SUMMARY ୨୧ For Peter Parker, the deepest secret is not being Spider-Man. It's that he likes you, no he loves you, wants you in any imaginable way possible. After years of quietly admiring you from a distance, everything changes after a biology project that partners you two together. Peter sees a glimpse of chance to get nearer to you, but the line of affection and obsession begins to blur

⇢ ˗ˏˋ WARNING ୨୧ obessive peter, creep peter, stalking, masturbation, panty sniffing, dirty thoughts, breaking in, just peter being hopelessly in love. If any of this finds you uncomfortable, please click out do yourself (and me also) a favor. lemme know if I missed any! MINORS DO NOT READ

If you don't want to see my dark stories in the future please block the tag #madi: dark content

A/n: my first ever fic posted on Tumblr, yippee! This is also my first ever smut so it probs be equivalent to horse poo but anyways, this also takes place in tasm 2. don't steal any of the shit I've written or else i'm gonna turn you into Vicky from Terrifier/srs

Peter didn't understand what was so special about you, you were just a crush. Or that's what he convinced himself. Every single place you were in, Peter would carefully trail behind you, like there was a magnet strapped onto you, and Peter was the metal, he would always find himself drawing next to you. Peter Parker was no stranger to keeping secrets. It was, after all, the epitome of his double life. A mask, a costume, a name that wasn't his at all. There was one secret, however, that even the Spider-Man's mask couldn't cover—his growing infatuation towards you.

It started out really simple. You decided to give back the nerdy boy's pencil in sophomore year and defended him from Flash Thompson in his junior year, it was all simple really, something a person with decency and was taught with proper manners would do. But Peter took it as more than that.

Candid photos here and there, purposefully falling of his skateboard so you would help him, cryptic notes in your locker, sometimes a random flower if Peter was lucky to find any.

Limerence, as some might say

The first people who would ever notice Peter's strange behavior where the people who raised him. Uncle Ben would notice this girl in the screen of his nephew's computer, so did Aunt May when she saw many polaroid photos of the same face underneath Peter's bed. Peter shrugged it off, saying the same exact words to the both of them.

'she's just a crush'

Peter Parker was very good at being hidden in the open. Sure, he didn't want to be invisible, but it is what it is. One of the self-working "losers" with horrible punchlines and pretty much the face screaming "nerd". Well, it didn't bother Peter much. He had many other more important things to think about. You

It's been years now. It was already the last year of senior year, graduation was already nearing, still, he hasn't mustered up the courage to do speak to you, afraid that you won't reciprocate the same feelings he has. His been watching you from a distance, stealing glances in class and making mental notes on all the little things you did, like doodling on the corners of your notebooks or, how you tucked your hair behind your ear when you were concentrating. He knew that it was weird, creepy even, but Peter couldn't stop himself.

So, when Mr. Warren announced a paired project for biology, Peter's internal monologue kicked into overdrive.

"Pair work begins today," Mr. Warren said, his smile a gruff overture that still Peter thought unnecessary. "Choose your partners wisely, just choose somebody you will along with. You can really screw up over this project if you don't!"

The room broke out into a low buzz as students shuffled their chairs and moved toward their friends. Peter didn't move. He never did. Choosing a partner was like finding a needle in a haystack type of task for him

Alright, Pete, it is not such a big deal. You are not going to end up with her or anything. Just relax, find someone cool, and—

"Peter!"

Your voice broke through his thoughts, and he looked up to see you in front of his desk, clutching a notebook to your chest

"By any chance do you have a partner? My friends kind of made their own pairs" you asked, your lips curving into an easy smile.

Peter blinked. His brain short-circuited.

"N-nope. I'm totally solo. Flying solo. A lone wolf. A…"

"Awesome! Then let's team up."

Peter turned to you, his mind racing, he blinked, trying to absorb this. You were choosing him? He nodded frantically; his heart was hammering at a top speed that he was convinced you could hear it

You smiled at him, you fucking smiled at him

For the rest of the class Mr. Warren instructed everyone to plan for the project for the rest of the class. You kept bouncing ideas back and forth, and Peter felt a strange, thrilling sensation of in his heart. You were funny, clever, and surprisingly very easy to communicate with. Every time you laughed at one of his jokes, he felt like he was soaring.

When the bell rang, you packed your things and turned to him. "We should work on this at my place. Tomorrow after school?"

Peter nearly dropped his notebook. "Uh, yeah. Totally. I mean, yes. That works. Perfect. So super normal."

You laughed again. "Cool. Here's my address."

And with that, you scribbled it on a scrap of paper and handed it to him before walking away, leaving Peter frozen in his seat.

That night, Peter was sitting in his room staring at the address. To most people, that was just a little detail, probably not even worth a second thought. But to Peter, it was an invitation, or perhaps a key, even just for a second to get into your life. To know every little thing about you

Unfortunately, though, that's not enough.

He felt his hands shaking as he opened the drawer in his desk to reveal a small trove of hidden treasures; poorly taken pictures of you from a distance, bits of paper that you had thrown away during math class, and a small stash of hair strands that he meticulously collected from your hair comb when you weren't looking

This was love, wasn't it? The desperate consuming desire to be around her, to know everything about you.

And tomorrow, he shall get his chance.

You invited him, but Peter just knew it was really more than what you would ever willingly give.

His love was a web, and you were stepping into it, one delicate thread at a time.

Peter stood outside your house with a crumpled piece of paper clutched in his rather sweaty hand. The address on it was correct, but doubt clouded him. What if she had forgotten about this meeting? What if this was simply a joke? No, she would never do that, he tried to convince himself

Peter Parker was standing at your porch. Each thump of his heart sounded like one of the drums in the music club. He raised his hand to knock, hesitating for a moment. Maybe it was a terrible idea to come here after all; he could fake being sick, sending her an apology while rescheduling. Just then, the door swung open before he even had the chance to run.

"Hey, you found my house, I actually thought you would get lost cause I wrote the wrong color of the rooftop on the note" you said while stepping aside to let him enter.

"I was actually hesitant to knock, because it didn't look like the description" He quietly said. You actually got everything right, I was just being a huge pussy so I didn't come immediately, he thought to himself.

"Come in. I have started working on the diagram."

Peter plasted a grin and forced his legs down inside. "Well, look at you. Overachieving already. I guess I'll just sit back and let you do all the hard work."

You rolled your eyes and laughed, your voice making him feel that the world wasn't so bad after all. "Nice try, Parker. Grab a marker. You're on label duty."

"Come on, we can work in the dining area," you said, leading him across the house.

The dining table was already loaded with supplies, with textbooks scattered everywhere, colored pencils, sheets of poster paper, you name it. You positioned herself and gestured to him to join you.

You fell into a rhythm, your hand sketching the parts of the circulatory system while Peter scrawled out the labels in his neatest handwriting. He cracked jokes every few minutes, drawing out your laughter like a lifeline. It would be so easy to lose himself in the moment, pretend that you both were just two friends hanging out and not a guy hopelessly infatuated with someone who didn't even know half the truth about him.

Both of you had a relatively smooth first hour of working, few questions were asked here and there on the project. Peter kept his answers short, being extra cautious with what to share, but it seemed you did not mind. You sketched diagrams, jotting down notes with an ease that made Peter's hands tremble every time he made an attempt to help.

"So Peter," you suddenly announced after the silence, "why is it that you don't talk very much? At school I mean"

The question staggered him, rendering him blank while the colored pencil just hovered above the page.

Peter jerked up his head and looked surprised. "What do you mean? Talking is what I do. I mean, there's even people begging me to stop."

You smirked but didn't let it down. "I mean really, you're funny but I know nothing about you. What's your thing, Peter Parker?"

He didn't answer immediately but fiddled with the marker. "I'm just… some guy. Pretty boring, honestly. Not much to tell."

Your expression softened, "I don't buy that. You're not boring".

Your words made Peter's chest tighter. He wanted to believe you, yet the voice at the back of his mind reminded how wrong youwere. If you only knew the real him, the guy who had spent countless nights staring at your window, memorizing your every move, you wouldn't be smiling and sitting here before him.

"Hey, don't overthink it. You're cool. Let's just finish this masterpiece, okay?" you said, flicking his arm before he could answer.

Peter smiled forcedly

And when they finished the day's work, you walk him to the door once more, your smile as warm as ever.

"Thanks for coming over," you said. "You're actually a pretty decent partner, Parker."

"Decent?!" Peter gasped, clutching his chest in mock offense. "Wow. Don't hold back; tell me how you really feel."

And you laughed, shaking your head. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Peter waved. You waved back at him, as he strolled down the street, but he did not go very far. Instead, he found himself across the street in the same place, hidden under the shadow of the oak tree.

you were in your living room again, curled around a blanket and a pillow as you watched whatever was on your screen, your face glowing softly from the light of the television. Peter leaned against the tree with both hands shoved in his jacket pockets and simply watched.

How long he'd been there, he couldn't tell, but he didn't want to leave. This was the closest he ever felt with you, even if you didn't know he was here.

He knew this was crossing the line, but he couldn't help himself. He found himself sneaking into your house. Now he really felt like a robber trying to intrude a home, expect he wasn't really going to steal anything, or so he thought.

It was late at night, you and your family were already asleep at this point

Peter knew that the right thing to do was to head home. He knew for sure that this crossed a line even he wasn't sure he could come back from. But before he could stop himself, he was moving, slipping across the street and into the shadows of your yard.

His palms were slick with sweat as he scanned the side of the house. The metal trellis leading up to your window wasn't very solid, but it would hold him if he was careful.

He carefully climbed the trellis, not putting too much weight on it. And his heart was pounding as he got to your window, his fingers brushing against the cool glass.

It wasn't locked.

At that moment, his body froze. The rational part of him screamed to stop, to climb back down and pretend this never happened. But then his hand was on the window. And that soft sound of it sliding open seemed to be deafeningly loud in the stillness of the night.

He slipped into his feet and landed silently on the carpeted floor. Your room smelled of lavender and something warm and sweet like vanilla. A little bit of moonlight filtered through the curtains and brightened the room in pale silver.

There she was

You laid curled up in your bed, the blankets pulled up to your shoulders, your face peaceful in sleep. Peter’s breath caught in his throat. You looked so serene, so utterly perfect, that it made his chest ache.

He stood there for what felt like an eternity, just watching you. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting to feel—satisfaction, maybe, or relief. But all he felt was a strange mix of awe and guilt.

This was wrong.

He knew it.

But he couldn’t bring himself to leave.

He looked around your room, it was full of polaroids of either you or your friends.

He started walking around your room quietly, careful to not wake you up in your slumber, because God knows what will happen if you saw him in your room with all its glory, he couldn't even imagine the disgust on your face.

But one thing caught his eye

Your bathroom was open, and in your bathroom was a basket with what he assumed inside were dirty laundry.

He knew it was disgusting, heck, over the top creep award would probably go to him, but he found himself walking towards the bathroom. It was wrong, but he still did it, he needs to get help, he thought to himself.

One second ago he was walking towards your bathroom, next thing you knew he was rummaging through your dirty laundry, occasionally smelling some of your shirts. He cherished the way your scent overwhelmed his nose, he was in Cloud 9.

While he was rummaging, a little piece of clothing caught his eye. With shaky hands he picked up the piece of clothing, it was your pink underwear with little cherries scattered everywhere as design.

He brought it near to his nose. He suddenly sat down in the neat cold tiles of the bathroom floor, he smelt it as if it was his oxygen.

He let out a small moan. He didn't know if it was an invisible force making him do such things, but he found his hands unbuttoning his pants

Peter Parker sat in the rest room; hand clasped tight around the lacy edge of the pink panty. He took out his hardened length of his boxers. The scent of dirty panties wafted his nose.

He imagined you wrapped around his throbbing cock, he thought of the feeling of your tight little pussy riding his cock, he wanted the sweet nectar from your lips, while having a feast on your quivering hole. His cock throbbed in his palms, his hands were much faster now, stroking his hardened cock. He had to bite his tongue to keep himself from moaning

Why was he doing this? You were literally there, outside the bathroom, sleeping. And Peter was here, out in the open, jerking off to the smell of your used panties

He was drenched in sweat as his hairs stuck to his wet forehead. He fantasized about your perky tits; perfect little nipples erect in anticipation. Pumping the shaft rapidly, imagining you on all fours begging for more, the bounce of your tits while riding him moaning his name like a mantra, Peter, fuck Peter, Peter, oh my God!

Peter was breathing heavily, his release was near, he profusely pumped his manhood, his hands and cock covered in his sticky pre-cum.

He wanted to feel you inside him, want you to quiver in pleasure as he fucks you over and over again.

He felt a sudden wave of pleasure hitting him, before he knew it, he released a flooded torrent of jizz into sticky cum as it scattered all over the floor. He slumped against the wall, heaving as he tried to steady his racing heart. He looked outside the door, finding you in the same spot as you were. You were sleeping oh so peacefully

He gazed at you, his heart full of unfulfilled yearning. He desperately wanted to be part of your world, to be someone you chose to let in. Yet no matter how many jokes he made or how close you seemed; he knew deep in his heart that he was not enough.

A soft sound broke the silence.

Peter's eyes snap to the bed, and his stomach lurch at the realization that you were stirring. Your brows knitted, your breathing started shifting, just as if you were going to wake up.

He immediately threw your panties back into the basket as he stood up and fixed his underwear and pants

He felt panic surging him, he immediately sprinted near the window. It made a loud a thud, now he was fucked

He moved quickly and quietly without thinking as he quietly ran towards the window. Just as you were about to opene your eyes, he slipped stealthily past the fluttering of curtains.

He tried scrambling down the trellis and found the ground, shivering and shaking as he did so.

He was hidden in a shadow corner, looking up towards your window. You were sitting up now, rubbing your eyes and looking around your room with a sleepy confusion.

Peter's chest tightened.

What's the matter with him?

He hurried as he turned away, his footsteps quiet against the pavement

The cool night air wrapped around Peter Parker like a cold, suffocating blanket as he walked back toward his house. Each step seemed to slant further and further as if his sneakers were scuffing wet against the cracked pavement in a slow and deliberate rhythm.

It was as if the world had gone still—entirely quiet. No cars were heard, no distant chatter, no hum of the city. Just Peter, the quiet whistle of wind through leaves, and the pounding thuds of his thoughts.

With that, he shoved his hands deep into his jacket pockets, his fingers curling into tight fists. Replaying the scene, he heard the soft sound of your breathing, the warmth of your room, and the way you stirred in your bed as if you had felt him there.

What the heck are you doing, Parker? He hadn't intended to climb into your room. He hadn't intended for it to get this far. Watching from the shadows was one thing, but tonight… tonight he had crossed a line.

He stopped moving and leaned against the lamppost, his breath escaping him in short, sharp gasps. Above him, the light flickered, shining unevenly across his shadow on the ground.

"This isn't me," he whispered to himself, the voice trembling.

But wasn't it?

Hadn't he been staring at you for years, taking notes while you weren't looking, memorizing all of your movements, laughter, and smiles? He had told himself that it was just harmless admiration from a distance, but now it was clear.

What would you think if you knew?

He sighed, Peter threw back his head and gazed up at the sky. Above him the stars, though cold and distant, seemed on to him— judging him in silence.

With the words of Uncle Ben echoing in his mind, With great power comes great responsibility, Peter winced.

Peter's jaw clamped down. Not great power; not yet. But wasn't all this part of it? Taking responsibility for his actions, owning up to his mistakes before they spiraled uncontrollably out of hand?

It hit him like a gut punch.

He wouldn't ever be able to take it back. Nor would he ever be able to wipe away the fact that he'd violated your space, your privacy, in a way you might never forgive. But he could stop it from going any further. He could ensure that you never found out.

@gloomskulls 2024. DON'T COPY, TRANSLATE OR USE ANY OF MY WORKS HERE OR ANY OTHER WEBSITES. Photos don't belong to me

[reveriebae]

How it tastes like

pairing(s) : Roommate! Song Mingi x Fic writer! reader

word count : 2912

genre : smut

summary : when your roommate wanna check what's make you stressed out from writing end up to an unexpected tasting experience.

warning(s) : afab! reader, oral (m & f receiving), fingering (f receiving), no protection (please use in rl!), cumplay. Lmk if I missed something.

Minors do not interact, 21+ only!!

🪐smut under the cut🪐

A loud sigh escaping from your lips, your room is dark but the screen from the laptop in front of you lights up your face and some spot behind you which is the headboard of your bed.

"Fuck this is so hard, what the hell am I gonna type" you muttered.

Being a writer is fun, actually really fun, but there's a time where you can't think any word and stressed out when people who read your fics give you a bunch of requests but they doesn't give you any plot idea or something that could boost your writing mood, especially when it comes to something you never even experience but you really want to write about that thing. You don't have to be a full experienced person to write stories, but sometimes to make your story feels alive and entertaining you gotta know the details about the thing that will be the main 'thing' for the whole story.

It's about blowjob in this case, as a smut fanfic writer it's really stressed you out when you realized how powerful and amazing your imagination are but the lack of experience you have is sometimes become a barricade for you to explain every detail of it, it's making you feel exhausted and confused and of course losing your interest to write, but the image of finish your writing that satisfied your imagination feels so so good.

"Hey, Y/N are you still awake?" Your roommate said after knock your bedroom door.

"Yeah, why?" The door cracks open, showing Mingi on the door frame peeks inside your room while all he could see is just a dark room with a small light from the laptop screen.

"Are you serious? Still writing at this fucking hour? Y/N please look at the time..you gotta rest, you gotta work, you have a class tomorrow and you gonna blind yourself if you keep writing in the dark dumbass".

"Shut the fuck up, you always say that I have to find some hobby to not stressed out from my-".

"Hobby do not supposed to make you feel stressed Y/N.. don't get me wrong, can I go in?" you nod and he turn on the light switch of your bedroom, he sits beside you on the bed.

You hurried to close the laptop cause everyone knew you are a writer but no one knows what in the hell your writings are about. Mingi frowns and his face is all confused.

"I was about to help Y/N, don't be such an ass".

"No no, you don't have to Mingi, I... I feel tired, I'm gonna slee-" he grab your laptop in one hand and his other hand grips both of your hand, you gasp as you tried to get off of his hand but you can't match his power.

"Nah you're not gonna fool me this time, come on let me help. You gotta remember your family is not even here, if you sick I'm gonna be the one who got to and will to take care of you".

"But Mingi, that's not the problem..".

"Just tell me what story are you writing right now? Is it romance?" You shook you head.

"Fantasy?action?" Nuh-uh.

"You do horror??".

"No you dumb, I am a smut writer" your face flushed it's now all red and hot from the embarrassment, but his face remained still.

"What is smut? A killer documentary? World secret? Conspiracy theory?" You stare at him in disbelief.

"It's.. it's some kind of... Porn" You stutter as he still grips you hand and your laptop is on his lap. Your faced get hotter when he just laughed in front of your face.

"You? Write a porn? That's amazing actually, despite you interact with guy is a rare view that so cool that you could write that such a thing, so what makes you stressed lately?" He lets out your hand to give you a small clap with smile that you want to wipe of his face, cause you're literally suffering while he unexpectedly support you when he knew you wrote filth all this time.

"You won't help me at all Mingi, just go.." you let out a deep breath, can't seem to look at his eyes.

"You're just unsure of the things that you want to write, because I know you are inexperienced. Now tell me, what makes you stressed?" He ends up rubbing your knuckles softly, wants to make you sure that you're safe with him, wants to make you sure that he cares about you in every way.

"Shut the fuck up Mingi, I said you won't help me".

"You are the one who's gonna shut the fuck up and tell me now" he grumbled he lets your hand then lift up your chin to make you look at his eyes.

"Blowjob, it's blowjob!" Your face might be directed to him but you shut your eyes closed.

"Wasn't so hard was it? Tell me more of your curiosity about blowjob".

You have no choice but to explain to him, it's overshoot. "I- I know blowjob is sucking- you know..dick, I have read those blowjobs scene from a lot of different writers but I'm not sure if I can write about that cause I don't know what to write for the details, I always thought of 'what if I make a mistake?' 'what if my readers mock me because of my writings?' 'what if they call me an inexperienced smut writer?' I got so many 'what if' in my head Mingi and I know you could barely help me, beside this is so embarrassing to talk about this with you cause you're literally a dude".

"That's the point, I'm a dude and that's why I said let me help you. All you gotta do is just ask" Your mind wandered into something you shouldn't thought about, the word 'All you gotta do is just ask' is so ambiguous, is he telling you to ask a question or ask him to do something? You decided to give up and receive the help Mingi gave you.

"So..how a cum tastes like?" You ask bluntly makes him chuckles under his breath.

"I never taste my own cum Y/N" you frown and slap his shoulder make him hissed.

"Fuck off Mingi, you told me you gonna help me!".

"I was Y/N, but I really never taste my own cum so I really don't know" he laughed while blocking your hands that's about to puch his chest. "But you can taste it yourself, if you want to" he smirks after finish his laughter.

"Mingi..you did not..".

"I'm just tryna help, if you want to let's do it..the blowjob, once again if you want to. But if you don't I'll be back to my room right now " You thought he's just playing with you but when you gather your courage to look at his face, he's serious about it.

"But that would be so weird.." he shakes his head at your words "isn't it?".

"No if you would trust me as much as I trusted you, you gotta remember that you are the one who need this Y/N, I'm just trying to help" His hands wraps around your shoulders, make you hold a shiver that could run down your body. "Do you want to?" His eyes drilling holes into your soul, you could only nod at him and smile plastered his face.

"So..w-what should I do?" You look back at your lap, you're so embarrassed right now you can't even think straight.

"My eyes are right here love, now help me to remove my pants" he lifts your chin up again, and now your hands begin trailing his sweatpants as he move his hips up to make you remove the pants easier.

Now he's half naked, in front of you, on your bed and the night dress you are wearing is slutty enough for the man's view.

"Show me what you learned from those smuts you read love" You start to touch his dick, hold and experimentally stroke his dick. You could hear his breath hitched, it gains confident in you so you stroke it a bit faster makes him lets out a moan, you could feel yourself started getting wet.

"Good love, now try to use your mouth" You wet your lips then stick your tongue to lick on his shaft then roll your tongue on the head. A salty liquid appears you guess that is what's called a precum, you open your mouth and try to take his cock inside, take a look at Mingi make you moan at how good he looks right now. His head falls back to the headboard while his mouth wide open, the sweats rising on his forehead and chest going up and down at how hard he is breathing, when you taste the salty precum of his your moan send a vibration right into his dick then his right hand suddenly have a nice grip on your hair as he starts moving your head up and down his cock.

The more he moves your head the faster it become and deeper it gets down your throat, when you swallow your saliva that collected inside your mouth, his moan became louder then you do it repeatedly. His not gonna last and you know it, you could feel his cock pulsing against your lips then you could taste a really bitter liquid spurts out of his dick, he calls your name on repeat then you bob your head on his dick for about 4 times before you pull out.

When you watch porn or read smut, it looks so easy to swallow the cum but you can't seem to swallow it, Mingi noticed your panicked expression then quickly open your drawer to take 2 sheets of tissues then hold the tissue on his hand and put it near your lips "Sorry love, spit it out don't worry" instead of spit his cum out of your mouth, you stick out your tongue while look at him to give him a nice view of his cum trickle down your tongue and land on the tissue on his hands.

"Fuck you look so beautiful doing that, so pretty for me, so messy with my cum like that love" when his cum is all out of your mouth Mingi throw the tissue to the trash bin and hand you a glass of water. "Your throat might feel a bit rough, you gotta drink a lot " you nod as you do what he tells, you could still feel the taste of his cum washed by the water and crashing down your throat.

"Mingi..uhm, I think you caused me another problem" you cleared your throat then Mingi eyes went wide he thought he hurted you or something.

"What? Are you okay? Am I hurting your throat? Too big for your lips it hurts?" He ramble then you close his mouth with your index finger to shut him up.

"No, it's just.. I need you to..".

"To what? You want another glass of water? Or do you want a candy? Yeah? I have some in my room wait a seco-".

"I need to you fuck me Mingi! You moaned a lot when I suck you, you..make me kinda wet".

"Oh..you sure?" Mingi blinks multiple times when you finally stand up and kissed him, the kiss is slow and passionate, his hands begins to roams all over your body as you gasp onto his mouth.He lays you in your bed, pull up your night dress to reveal you are not wearing anything but only your panties inside the dress. "So beautiful for me love, bet you gonna touch yourself while imagine about me tonight if we don't fuck" he lowers himself until he's between your legs then he removes your panties in no time.

"I actually did, sometimes" he looks at your face at the words, he grips your thighs so hard you let out a hiss.

"You are really driving me insane my love, do you also write smut about me?" He opens your legs wide and place his face right in front of your bare pussy then blow on it, the action make you whimper above him. "I hope you could take a look at how wet you are love, eager for me to ruin your pretty little pussy, don't you?" He trails kisses on you inner thigh.

"Please Mingi..don't keep me waiting" you mewl then smile to him when he looks at your face, pushing his middle finger into your wet cunt make you gasp as he trusts it slowly inside you.

"You're not ready to take me yet my love, I gotta prepare you first" he trusts his finger faster and when you start to moan loudly he pull his finger out of you and lick them clean. "So sweet for me" you whimper at his action.

"Don't you wanna eat me out Mingi? Please do" smirk plastered on his face when you say the word, he lifts your legs until they touched your chest then he devour you immediately. Your eyes rolling back and your hand automatically get a grip on Mingi's hair as he growls into your pussy. He inserts his middle and ring fingers into your cunt then curling it up while his tongue doing a kitten lick on your clit, a fast kitten lick on your clit. "Fuck Mingi.. don't stop-mmh gonna..gonna cum" His index finger joins the other two fingers and he suck your clit make you scream as you cum so hard your body spasming and Mingi holds your hips down.

"Just like that love, let it out for me" he trails kisses on you cheeks and jawline until you stop shaking under him.He peels off his shirt then rubbing his cock on your clit, you let out whimpers because of the sensitivity "And from now on..fuck with me will be your new hobby, my dick is gonna be your fucking hobby" with that he enters himself inside you in one hard trust make you scream so loud. "Oh shoot, it hurts? Sorry, I'll pull it ou-".

"No please, just keep going" you breathed while holding into his arms, he nods at you then starts to move slowly. When your moans become louder he sped up his movement, "ah- fuck you feel so good Mingi, so big.." you moan uncontrollably.

"Yeah, you take me really well Y/N my love" his words sounds so sweet with the soft deep voice he lets out, but his grip on your waist and the way he's pistoning his hips so hard your tears start to gather at the corner of your eyes.

"Faster Mingi! Please make me cum please please fuckkk" Your eyes closed, whimpers and rambling flow out of your lips. You can hear his whisper, definitely sounds like he's begging you to cum. His movement become faster and faster, you lose it when he moves one of his hand and rubs your clit with two fingers that you assume it's his index and middle finger.

"Yes love..yes, fuck you are so so tight, so good for me, you are amazing baby" you cum for the second time, your legs feels like giving up but Mingi still thrust himself into you. "God.. I'll fucking give you what you want, I'll make you taste what you wanna fucking taste" it doesn't take him so long to cum inside you with sharp thrust that make you let out a choked moan. He pulled out make you whimper then go down on you to suck his cum out of your cunt.

"W-wait Mingi! What are you doing?!" You look down but he pays you no mind, when he finishes whatever he's doing he hovers over you and then give you an open mouthed kiss, your eyes open wide when you could taste a salty liquid over your tongue, when Mingi fills your mouth with all his cum he pulls off from the kiss then spit right into your tongue, he is doing a fucking cumplay and you know that.

"Now swallow it love, I know you can do it" You don't wanna swallow it, but the moment when Mingi spit into your mouth and the fact that your cum, his cum, your spit and his spit are mixed together make your head dizzy in a good way then you swallow it unwittingly and without hesitation, you show your tongue to him to proof that you have swallow all of it, his smirk grows. "You do really good for me love" he's keeping you in his embrace for a good half an hour. When he feels you dozed off, he give a light pat on your cheek you wake you up. "Don't sleep yet my love, we gotta clean you up first".

"I'm feel so tired Mingi, let me sleep" He lifts you up into his arms instead, but it's not like you're complaining tho. He takes you to your bathroom then put you inside the tub after he fills it with warm water.

He stokes your hair make you dozed off again, he giggles at the sight.

"What are you going to do without me, my love".

[neigepomme]

˙ ✩°˖ ☃️ try again / zayne x reader

synopsis; right person, wrong time, but even after a year, the heartache remains. you looked for him in everyone you met, and so did zayne — but when the universe lets you cross paths again, will it be kind enough to let you try again?

🍎 pomme's notes — i made a playlist for this fic! this is loosely based on jaehyun and d.ear's try again, but all of these songs were played while i was writing and i think they make the reading experience better!! also if there are typos forgive me i finished writing this at 5am oops

✴︎ 5.5k words ⋆ hurt/comfort ⋆ set in a world with no evol (also caleb cameo and zaynecaleb are best friends because i said so) ⋆ fem reader ⋆ 2nd person

it was a snowy december night when you decided to mutually break up.

the night was quiet and so peaceful, but your heart was in turmoil upon seeing his defeated face, and so was his when tears started to fall from your eyes.

it wasn’t always like this though.

you met him in college, he was two years your senior and you’d been taking the same ethics class — one he'd pushed off until his last semester before his residency. always kind and soft-spoken, you eventually got to work on a group project together and when the other people in your team decided to play hooky, zayne was the one to let the professor know and invite you to work together.

he eventually started reaching out to you under the pretense of studying together at a new cafe, only for the both of you to talk endlessly, with no real studying being done. your bashful expression when he'd compliment your new earrings didn't go unnoticed, and you also didn't miss the shy glances followed by a cough when you glanced back.

this went on for two whole months, until you encountered one of zayne's friends, caleb, at a party you both attended. drunk out of his mind, with zayne following in tow (sporting a worried expression that you found quite cute), he spotted you and made a beeline for you. the brunette pointed at you, and spoke with a slurred speech.

"you. you're the girl he's been talking about non-stop right? the cute one from his ethics class? dude, zayne's in looooove with you."

at a loss for words, you glanced at zayne — who was running a hand over his face, clearly flustered out of his mind and trying his best to get caleb to shut up.

the butterflies in your stomach were batting their wings furiously, and your own face started feeling hot. before you could even speak though, caleb spoke again, a little more agitated now.

"poor guy cannot take you off his mind, so for my mental wellbeing, please date him. i can't keep living like this, my ears are gonna fall off if i hear one more thing about you — no offense. if there's an equivalent to the bechdel test for men, we're failing and we're failing haaaaard. all because of him. i'm gonna grab another beer but you've gotta date him. please."

as caleb walked away, you stared at zayne. it was a clumsy indirect admission of feelings, but gosh was it a sweet one. his face burned red, unable to stop his friend from revealing all of that info to you — but it's not like it was a lie. whenever the two of them would hang out, he'd ask caleb for advice on what to wear for your next outing or check whether or not a text you sent him had a hidden message. hell, zayne would text him asking for good date spots to take you to.

running a hand through his hair, zayne watched his friend walk away and cleared his throat before grabbing a hold of your hand, his serious expression not doing much to distract you from the red of his cheeks.

"this wasn't how i planned on letting you know how i feel and asking you out but.. he wasn't really lying."

his cold hand gripped yours a bit more tightly, before he exhaled in a feeble attempt at steadying his nerves.

"i really do like you though, and i'd love to take you out. not as the guy from your ethics class that you're stuck doing a project with, but as your boyfriend."

that's how it started. loving zayne was comfortable. it came as easily as breathing. the late nights he'd spend in your dorm room, reading one of his cardiology textbooks while you slept soundly on his chest were your favorites. no words needed to be exchanged, his heartbeat told you everything you had to know about his love for you.

when you received a job offer from your dream company, zayne was there with a bouquet of your favorite flowers to congratulate you. kissing your face softly and whispering sweetly about how proud he was, and how he knew you'd get in. you melted in his embrace, remembering the times you'd cried in his arms, afraid of being rejected while he held you and gave you soft reassurances.

in return, you were there for him — preparing boxes of snacks for him to keep in his car while he did his residency. his own apartment was left neglected, as he preferred spending nights at your place, sleeping only for a few hours before he went back to the hospital.

it was comfortable when you were still in university, but life caught up with you rapidly. your job was rewarding, but the long hours and the overtime you had to work because of how new you were, drained you.

zayne also had a hard time. his mentor was spread thin, and he had to take on more responsibilities as a resident physician than he'd had to during his internship. coming back home to you was difficult, the shifts seemed never-ending — basically working 24 to 36 hours regularly.

the date nights became more and more sparse. you spoke to each other less and less, not wanting to drain the other further. zayne would spend more time at his place, given that it was closer to the hospital, and you'd be exhausted from the overtime to visit him. he called you during his breaks, but more often than not, he got interrupted by responsibilities or different emergency codes, only being able to talk to you for two minutes at most if he was lucky.

you were having a hard time too. trying your best to text him, but your boss seemed hellbent on making sure you were always hard at work, never allowing you the time to send zayne a quick text. the mandatory overtime was irritating to say the least — always menial tasks that took an infuriating amount of time and that kept you in the office for hours, forcing you to come home late at night. staying up was an almost impossible ask, no matter how much you loved zayne. your eyes practically closed upon entering your home, and you'd forget to wipe your makeup way too many times. the rare times you'd stay awake, he'd have to stay later, because of a young patient having a heart attack or a new admission at the hospital.

it was exhausting, and neither of you were to blame. the universe had made it difficult and you couldn't hold any resentment because you knew how much this job meant to zayne. on the other hand, he also didn't want to ask you to accommodate him — feeling that it'd be unfair to ask you to stay up, knowing just how tired you were.

eventually, it had been enough.

you tried your best to push that feeling down, convincing yourself that you two will be alright, that this is just a hardship that will pass, but it was eating away at you. you missed zayne so much, and this whole thing just wasn't doable. it wasn't sustainable for either of you. when your friend tara said, "right person, wrong time! it's unfortunate, but you can't help it," you never thought it'd apply to you. never in a million years would you have thought that this relationship would be a fleeting thing, that it'd be rendered difficult and heartache inducing. zayne was perfect for you, as you were for him — but whichever divine entity looked down upon you didn't seem to agree. the days seemed to drag on, and you missed your boyfriend so deeply, but life seemed set on making you and zayne exhausted, not even having the time to see one another.

you were the only thing on zayne's mind while he worked. the surgeries never ended, and he just wanted to take a nap in your arms, but his attending seemed keen on making him work until he keeled over. he was so worn out, every single one of his limbs sore, but he still thought about you and how lonely you must feel. this job is his dream, saving people is something he's always yearned to do, but that doesn't take away from the fact that he feels like the worst boyfriend to have ever existed. you never complained, never asked him to abandon his job to spend time with you, and whenever he'd have to cut your calls short, you'd tell him it's okay, your voice laced with an unspoken sadness.

he sometimes wished you'd get angry at him. demand he spend some time with you but you were always understandind and patient. you were too good to him, and zayne felt so selfish. you didn't deserve to wait for him, especially not when you already had so much on your plate with your new job and boss. his conscience weighed on him, and he couldn't let you keep going and be unhappy.

and so, he told his supervisor that there was a personal emergency, and he headed over to your place after sending you a message; one you dreaded but expected in the back of your mind.

"love, we need to talk. i'll come over to your place in 20 mins."

his heart ached upon sending it, and he only wished that your heart hurt less than his — unfortunately it was far from being the case. you had just gotten home when you received the text, and you could already feel tears welling up in your eyes. you knew what was going to follow, but you were exhausted, and you knew he was too. you wanted to fight for this relationship. you loved zayne so much, so desperately, it made your heart hurt, and god, you knew he loved you too. you wanted to fight, but you felt selfish doing so. in your heartbreak, you still cared about him so much. his eyebags were getting more and more pronounced, and there was nothing you could do to take away from his tiredness. at this point, you just wanted him to rest, and if you could take away one thing off his mind at the cost of your own unhappiness, you'd do it.

zayne drove to your place, his hands tight on the steering wheel. he didn't want to do this, but he loves you so much. he loves you so bad, he cannot let you wither away, waiting for him. you deserved the world and he couldn't even give you a full hour without being interrupted by a call from the hospital, or without him desperately needing sleep. he started going through his memory, trying to remember the last time he took you out on a date. the last time he gave you his full attention, the last time he saw you laugh, the last time he made you blush. all these instances seemed so far away, and he couldn't forgive himself for leaving you alone for so long. you deserved too much, and if you could be your bright, joyful self without him by your side, then so be it.

it was snowing outside, so softly. it felt as if the universe was mocking you, as if it interpreted your relationship as an insult towards itself, and was hellbent on getting rid of it. your heart was breaking in anticipation, but the world would keep on moving.

you choke back tears.

no matter how much you wanted the earth to stop spinning, just for a moment with him again, it never would. you were doomed to stride forward, whether you wanted to or not.

the twenty minutes went by at a grueling slow pace, yet it didn't feel like enough time for either of you to prepare for the inevitable. when you hear that familiar rhythmic knock on your door, it suddenly feels like the beginning of the end. there were so many thoughts going through your mind — what if you didn't answer the door? would he still stay by your side? no, that was too cruel. your stomach hurts at the thought of paining him further, and so you stood from the couch where you were sitting and walked towards the door. your whole body felt weighed down when you opened it, only to see zayne — a painful expression painted on his face. he seemed thinner than before, more tired. you wanted to reach up and cradle his face, one last time, but you held back. you couldn't bring yourself to do it.

all he wanted was to hold you in his arms, as tight as he could, and tell you, "we'll be alright, we'll be okay."

you looked so worried about him, it shattered zayne's heart. he couldn't believe you still cared, even after being so worn out from the long work hours. even in your most tired moments, when you looked so fragile, when your eyes held back tears, you still cared about him so much. he didn't want to hurt you, never wanted to — but he'd ended up doing it, and he couldn't keep dragging this on further. he didn't want to tell you how much he loved you, how much it broke him to do this.

when you invite him in, hesitant to hold his hand in fear of your resolve wavering, he refuses. if he took a step inside your home, he wouldn't want to let you go. you look up to stare into his eyes, only for him to shake his head and inhale shakily.

"i'm so sorry. i.. i think we should break up."

you heard his voice. you know what he said. you knew from before, knew it was coming, knew it was inevitable.

you knew, but it still hurt.

it hurt so terribly, and you couldn't even do anything to make it hurt less. you couldn't hate him, couldn't get angry, couldn't scream, couldn't do anything.

trying your best not to let your voice crack, you respond while choking back a sob.

"okay. i'm sorry, zayne."

when the tears started falling from your eyes, zayne wanted to reach out and wipe them away. he loathed to see you cry, but the only thing he loathed more than that at that moment was himself. his throat was closing up, and he wanted to fall to his knees.

he wanted to beg you to get angry.

beg you to love him less.

beg you to hate him.

beg you to do anything that could make it less painful for him to end things with you.

he couldn't do it, though. he could never do it, and he felt like a coward for that. so what did he do? he nodded and spoke one last time before leaving your doorstep.

"i'm so sorry. please, take care of yourself. i can't apologize enough."

as zayne walks back to his car, he has to fight with himself to not look back at you, despite the difficult breathing and the sniffles he hears from you. because if he does, he'll just run back to you. but he wants you to be free from him. free from the burden of his love — so he keeps on walking, biting the inside of his cheek to stop himself from crying.

you look at his back when he walks away.

you only allow yourself to sob once his car pulls out of your apartment's parking lot. the tears are falling freely, each one more painful than the next, and you can't help yourself from wailing, from silently begging him to come back, to tell you that everything is going to be fine, that you shouldn't break up.

sobbing on your doorstep, harder than you've ever cried before, harder than you thought you could ever cry.

one of your neighbor walks out to see you on your knees, and she asks you "what's wrong sweetie? are you hurt?", and you can only cry out that you love him, you love him so much it hurts, that you just want him. she holds you in her arms, tells you it's okay, that you'll be okay, but it's no use.

your heart hurts so bad.

it's not her you want comforting you.

it's zayne.

you want him to hold you tight, to tell you that everything will be okay.

it shouldn't have ended like this. you didn't want it to end like this, and neither did he, but there was nothing either of you could do.

right person, wrong time.

the day after was terrible. you had no choice but to show up to work, despite your voice being hoarse and your eyes being painfully puffy from all the tears you shed the night before.

everything felt off. you didn't text him during your break, and at no point did he call you. 

it made you want to cry again, but you couldn't. you had to be strong because the world kept on spinning, and zayne wouldn't have wanted you to sob for him endlessly — though you were certain that once you got home, you'd start sobbing and pleading for him in your room. 

the day went by quickly. too fast, really. there was just numbness when you were at your desk, something like autopilot mode kicking in. 

when the clock hit 5, and your boss let you go home with no overtime, you felt the tears resurface. the one day you had wished for a distraction, away from your feelings, your boss decided to be considerate. no words were said, though. you packed your bag and walked out. 

the chinese restaurant you went to with zayne was on your way home. the place where he found out he'd gotten matched into a cardiology residency at akso hospital, where he'd stood and hugged you so tightly, in front of onlookers — so unlike his usual self, who shyed away from PDA. he was so happy to share the good news with you, his favorite person. 

the memories resurfaced, and it felt like you could see him in everything you've ever loved. zayne had left a permanent mark on you, and you wanted to hate him for ruining so many things for you, but you couldn't bring yourself to.

you held your tears back during the entire walk home.

maybe you should call tara. do anything to distract you from this. from feeling like a ghost, a shell of yourself without him by your side. you needed to change, to prepare food, to sleep, to work, and to repeat all of this again tomorrow. so with a heavy sigh and an even heavier heart, you opened your closet to grab some comfortable clothes — that was when you saw it.

one of zayne's sweaters, one that he'd given you to wear when you were cold during a date. it still smelled like his cologne, like his jasmine fragrance.

it was unfair. you inhaled sharply and looked up, trying your best to stop the sobs, but it was of no use. 

it still smelled like him.

you grabbed your phone before the tears completely blurred your vision and called tara, all while clutching his sweater to your chest.

“hey babe! you got off work?”

and the sobs resumed. you cried your heart out, desperately asking her, if it was for the best, then why does it hurt so bad? why does it feel like a part of yourself got removed when he walked away? everything seemed like a blur, but you remember the door unlocking and her worried face. hands cradling your face, telling you to let it all out, to cry until you couldn't anymore. that it was okay to hurt. you didn't need to put on a front. you didn't need to look so strong — you could fall apart because you'd build yourself back up.

so you did just that. you cried in her arms. you cried for him, cried at the world, cried at the unfairness of it all. she rocked you back and forth, comfort reminiscent of zayne's arms.

you cried harder than the night before. and you kept on crying every single day for a week.

the months passed by slowly after that. you still didn't text him during your breaks, and he still didn't call you. you still loved him, you still longed for him, but you hoped he was relieved of some burden. maybe he'd finally sleep a little better at night, maybe his eyebags went away, even if you weren't there to see it. you'd be okay eventually, but now wasn't quite the time yet.

following tara's recommendation, you downloaded dating apps. not to properly date anyone, just to take your mind off him, but it proved to be harder than she said. the men you matched with all resembled him slightly. one of them had similar eyes, the other had the same fashion sense, and another had a similar smile. when you talked to them, you tried to find traces of him within their speaking habits. none of them had his dry humor, nor did they have his tender voice or his laugh.

none of them called you to check in between shifts.

none of them were zayne.

dating was off the table when you realized that; maybe you need some more time to yourself? perhaps you need to learn to visit the places you went to with him, get used to going to the cafes you two favored on your own.

your boss wasn't breathing down your neck anymore, so you could spend your next evening visiting that pastry shop zayne adored — the one he'd order macarons from and personally deliver to your home to share with you.

however, each time you told yourself you'd do it, you felt afraid.

afraid of running into him. afraid of seeing him too happy without you by his side. what if he'd already found another woman? someone from the hospital, maybe a nurse or a fellow resident. you wouldn't be able to handle it, so you pushed it off.

"i'll do it tomorrow," you'd tell yourself.

soon, it'll be a whole year without zayne. his birthday was the most difficult day since the night you lost him. funnily enough, you thought you'd be able not to cry, but you missed him even more than before. you had the day off — a PTO you scheduled ahead of the breakup, but now you were just surrounded by the silence. the autumn breeze blew through your window and reminded you of him.

“you'll catch a cold, my love.”

“mmh, the breeze feels so nice, though. but maybe if my favorite snowman hugged me and kept me warm, i'd be okay.”

“sure, darling. i'll keep you warm in my icy embrace and shield you from the cold, won't i?”

you hugged the snowman plushie he'd won you a little tighter upon reminiscing. you cried softly against it, your heart aching again — but you found solace in knowing that he was out here working hard towards his goal. you'd support him from afar, no matter what.

today marked 12 months since the breakup. an entire year.

and today, you were going to visit the pastry shop. you had to get over him, and as painful as it sounded, it had been almost a year, and you had to keep moving. zayne would become a beloved memory, treasured within both your heart and your mind. 

dressed for the weather, you walked towards the quiet cafe but hesitated before opening the door to the establishment. the walk on the way here was familiar, and the pastry shop remained the same way you'd left it when you last visited it with zayne. the same regulars, the same jingle of the bell when you pushed the door open, the same chairs and the same staff. you searched for the seats you'd usually sit at with zayne, and you thought your eyes failed you when you see those familiar hazel eyes looking over the cafe, as if they were waiting for something to happen.

or someone to come in.

he was sitting alone, the same jasmine tea latte on the table in front of him — the one he'd meticulously pour three sugar packets in before stirring counterclockwise for 20 seconds to dissolve the sugar. he looked the same as he did that december night, if only more tired. his eyebags did not go away, it seemed.

gathering all the courage you could muster, you walk towards him. you'd get your closure today no matter what.

but when he looked your way, your steps faltered. his gaze softened, his shoulders slumped a bit, as if he'd let go of some tension he didn't know he held. zayne smiled, and you had to hold back from jumping into his arms, telling him how much you'd missed him. he spoke softly, as if afraid to disturb you — as if you'd blow away in the wind, like a dandelion's bristles.

"hi," he'd whisper, his voice as soothing as the day you last heard it.

your breath catches in your throat, and you have to inhale a bit before replying.

“hi, zayne. can i sit here?”

and he nodded, his lips slightly curling upwards. you hoped it was you he was waiting for. maybe he'd wanted to see as much as you did, and maybe he too longed to hold you in his arms. 

you waited for him to speak again, and as if reading your mind, he did. fidgeting a bit in his chair, zayne looked over at you so fondly. 

“how have you been?”

his voice. you missed his voice so much. you missed him asking about you about your day with that tone, that patient and tender, love filled tone. 

"oh i've been.. decent." 

that seemed like a good answer. you weren't good, nor were you fine. you had the man you loved, the man you love, sitting in front of you after close to a year of yearning for him, following the worst heartbreak you had ever experienced. 

“work's been tiring, but my boss stopped breathing down my neck. i get home on time now, with no mandatory overtime. it's okay now. how about you?”

zayne wasn't fine. the hospital took in some new cardiology residents, so the workload calmed down, but he still felt restless without you by his side. he gazed over all of your features, and you looked so beautiful. he missed you to death.

“i'm handling everything okay. we have new attending physicians, so the amount of long shifts has significantly decreased.”

he spoke truthfully, you knew it, but you couldn't make sense of his eyebags if that was the truth. he looked like he's had sleepless nights for months, his eyes tired and not as bright as they used to be. he still looked so charming, though, and you thought to yourself, that it wasn't your place to inquire any further.

the two of you caught up for two hours, akin to old friends having a heartfelt reunion — except you were ex-lovers. ex-lovers who valued the other's happiness over your own, leaving you both miserable but under the impression that the other was doing better without you.

he asked if you dated in the past year, and you shook your head, explaining that you had a hard time and chose to take some time to yourself. zayne didn't need to know you were unable to date because you wanted him. he didn't need to know that you refused to give a chance to anyone who wasn't him, that you looked for him in everyone you met.

secretly, zayne felt relief upon learning that. he wanted you to be happy, of course he did, but selfishly, he wanted to be the one to bring you happiness. in all honesty, he couldn't bring himself to date anyone either. the women around him weren't you. they didn't smile at him the way you did, never cared to learn more about him beyond his face and job, and none of them texted him sweet little love messages to check up on him. you were the only one for him.

you only started heading out when the cafe announced it'd be closing its doors, and even then, neither of you seemed to be in a rush. a strange sense of longing lingered around you both, a warm feeling — something that quietly begged for one more moment spent together.

zayne offered to drive you home, and you took him up on that. the car hummed quietly as you sat in comfortable silence. the last rays of sunlight quickly disappeared, leaving behind them a deep blue night. snowflakes slowly started drifting down from the sky, and you were reminded of that night when you decided to part ways. sooner than you'd hoped, zayne pulled into your apartment's parking lot.

he still knew the way to your place.

if you asked him about it, he'd answer simply. he never forgot, never could bring himself to remove the path to your home from his memory. he'd spent countless nights there, holding you in his arms while he rested before the hospital inevitably called him for a new 36h shift. zayne could never forget the way home. not your apartment, he could never forget the way to you — his real home.

getting out of his car, he walked you to your apartment. soon, you'd have to say goodbye to him, and you grew restless at the thought. it felt like if you said goodbye today, it'd be the last time you'd see him. you didn't want to bother him any longer, nor keep him tied down.

it seemed inevitable, though. it felt like it was last year again when you had to fight tears from falling upon agreeing on breaking up. helpless, unable to speak, and to ask him to stay. unable to be selfish, for once. but what could you do? you just nodded and wished him a goodnight and goodbye. it'd be over soon enough. you'd see his back as he walked away from you for the last time.

you're the first to turn away, focusing your gaze on your doorknob, trying to type in the digits to his birthday to unlock your apartment. the tears rose up, and your eyes were misty again, fog taking over your field of vision. 

it was the end.

zayne took a step back and looked at you. a feeling of doom, helplessness, and fear took over him. he'd let you go a second time, and it'd be the last this time around. no more chances — he'd never get to see your face agaim after this, but if you were happy it was worth it, wasn't it?

he watched you type in your password and heard the familiar jingle when your door unlocked.

it really was the end.

god, he really couldn't do this. he needed to be selfish for once, and he prayed you'd forgive him for it.

before you can take a step inside, you hear him call out your name, and before you can fully process it, you just feel his arms around you. he held you so tightly.

zayne was holding you in his arms. the way he desperately wanted to when he heard you cry a year ago. the way you wished he'd held you a year ago. 

“i'm sorry. i'm selfish. i can't even let you go, so please, please.”

you couldn't stop the sobs that took over your body when you heard him plead for you. you clutched onto his sweater as tight as you could, the smell of jasmine so soothing while you sobbed in his arms. his arms tighten around you when he feels you tremble against him, desperate in the way he shook slightly too.

he spoke again, his voice breaking. more vulnerable than you'd ever heard him before. more raw, full of yearning, longing, desperation and love. so much love.

“i love you. i love you so much, i love you more than life itself.”

zayne kissed the top of your head, soft tears falling down his cheeks while he whispered soft apologies and promises of a future together. he missed you so much. a part of his heart went missing without you next to him. he needed you by his side, as selfish as that made him seem.

“we'll be alright. please, let's try again.”

those words you wanted to hear, so very badly on that night, a year ago. you nodded against his chest, the sobs not showing any signs of stopping.

except this time around, zayne was there to hold you in his arms. two lovers who longed for each other's warmth for a year, finally into each other's embrace again.

it was a snowy december night when you reunited with your love, and you'd never let go this time.

🍎 pomme's final notes — if the zaynejaehyun agenda has a million fans then i am one of them if the zaynejaehyun agenda has one fan it is me and if the zaynejaehyun agenda has no fans i am dead. also i bawled while writing the breakup part don't kick me too hard

also if at any point while reading this fic you wanted to kill me just know that i was probably also wanting to kill myself but hey all's well that ends well am i right :P

[scarletwinterxx]

but on a wednesday in a cafe i watched it begin again - kim mingyu imagine

hiiiii - okay i'm so so so inlove with this one. may i say this is half inspired by real life scenarios haha anyways i hope you like it!

alsooo just a thought, would anyone want to be mutuals on X?

for my other svt fics, check them here

if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2024 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)

10 years ago

"Kyeom, I'm gonna go. I have assignments to do"

"What noooo, the game's just about to start" he mutters, he even kick feet like a little kid

"Then stay, but I'm going" you didn't even give him a chance to say anything because you're already out the gym doors. Your bestfriend used to your attitude at this point, he lets you be.

You pull your bag on your shoulders as you walk towards the school gates, some students were also on their way out since classes are done. Just as you were about to exit, someone calls your name making you look back.

When you spot who was calling you, confusion took over your face. Wondering why Kim Mingyu is here running after you when he should be inside with the basketball team.

"Hey, glad I caught you" he smiles at you.

Kim Mingyu, the guy who's known across all campus. He's the star student, all the teachers like him, he's never missed a class, he's good at studying, never the troublemaker, has a big circle of friends and an even bigger number of admirers from all across the school.

"What's up, do you need something?" you nonchalantly replied but that didn't deter him one bit

"Yea uh actually I wanted to ask you out" he scratches the back of his neck, looking down at his shoes as he waits for your answer

"Me?"

"Yea, I like you"

"Oh uh thanks. But I'm not really looking for that type of thing right now"

You watch the smile fall from MIngyu's face before it comes back again, it doesn't quite reach his eyes though. You notice.

"Oh"

"Yeah, sorry but uhm goodluck on your game though. I'm gonna go now" you wave goodbye before going your way. Not once turning to look back where Mingyu was left standing.

The rest of your high school life flew by like that. You still mostly kept to yourself, a few close friends, never really wanting to have any eyes on you. Mingyu never contacted you after that. You two acted like strangers once again, his confession something only you and him know.

Present Day

"Did you get the invite?" Dokyeom asks the moments he enters your apartment. After all these years, he's still your bestfriends. Most of your 'friends' from high school you've already lost contact with, you realized you were only friends with them only because you saw them everyday. Not many of them really made the effort to keep in contact, you can't blame them though since you didn't either.

But that's life. People come and go.

"For?"

"Our high school reunion, please tell me you're going"

"I did get it, and no I'm not going"

"What? Why? It'll be fun" he still does this thing where he stomps his feet like a kid when you say no to him, annoying but he's your bestfriend so you learned to put up with it.

"I don't even talk to anyone from high school apart from you"

"I'll be there, you can talk to me" he weakly reasons out, trying to plead with you is like trying to move a cement brick wall. He knows it's a losing battle but he still tries anyways.

"You won't stop bugging me unless I go, won't you?"

"You know me too well"

"Fine, but I'm not staying long"

"3 hours tops"

"2, take it or leave it"

Leave it to Dokyeom to make sure you're actually coming because by 5pm the day of the reunion, he came to your apartment even though you're taking your own car since you don't plan on staying as long as him.

"Oh you actually got ready" he says when you open the door

"I don't want another long message from you, let's go before I change my mind"

The two of you drove separately to the venue, as an introvert you admit when you got there you already want to go home. You see the familiar faces, already dreading the amount of small talks you have to do for the rest of the night. Cursing Dokyeom in your mind.

Your bestfriend didn't even give you a chance to step back inside your car before he's pulling you inside, saying hello to everyone on your way in. He's always been the nicer one between the two of you.

The two of you grab some snacks and drinks before continuing on meddling with your former schoolmates. Your social battery draining drastically by the second when you hear Dokyeom almost scream from beside you,

"Kim Mingyu! Yo dude you made it"

You look over where Dokyeom went, watching him give a bro hug to the guy. There Kim Mingyu stands, still as handsome as ever. A lot of years passed by but he still looks the same, just even better now.

The years have indeed been kind to him.

With everything happening around you, you can't help but feel overwhelmed. A few moments away from sneaking out but Dokyeom catches you once again before you can even give it a try

"Y/N's here too, you remember Mingyu right?"

You wanted to step on your bestfriend's shoes to make him shut up but instead you just shoot him a tight lipped smile before turning to the taller guy,

"Hi"

"Hey, it's been a while. I haven't seen you since... graduation"

"Yea, you too"

End of conversation.

You're still the same, Mingyu thinks. You're still the same girl he liked back then, you're still just as hard to read, still answering with single sentences, still beautiful like the day you broke his heart.

He wonders how you've been since then. Are you dating anyone or are you still out there breaking other guys' heart with your cold demeanor. He's still friends with Dokyeom and last he heard you've been doing okay. No mention of a boyfriend.

You don't give him a chance to ask any question, you say something to Dokyeom before walking towards the door

"Is she alright?" he can't help but ask

"Oh yea, she's being her usual self. It's a miracle I even got her to go tonight so I won't even be surprised if she's about to sneak home now, I'll just call her later"

"You two still close?"

"She's my bestfriend, dude. Of course we are, we're like twins ya know. Anyways how's the cafe going"

Mingyu hangs out with Dokyeom for the rest of the night, they didn't really run out of things to catch up on. He can't help but wonder how two very different people manage to stay close friends. But then again it's Dokyeom, one of the nicest guy he knows. At the end of the day, he's glad you're friends with someone like him.

The next day Dokyeom calls you to bombard you with stories about the reunion that you missed when you came home, he goes on and on about catching up with Mingyu then some other people from your batch you don't even talk to anymore but you listen anyways.

After the phone call, you get ready to go to work. You go on with your routine and before you know it you're done with your 9-5. That goes on for the rest of the week.

Some people hate it but you liked having a routine, it drives you crazy when things don't go your way.

Like tonight, your workmates all but forced you to come with them for afterwork drinks. You wanted to decline but you already done so many times so they made sure you come with them this time.

"Okay okay so what if you're in a room full of all the people you ever liked, who would you go to?"

Everyone take turns to answer until all head turns to you, "Oh me?"

"Yea, come on spill the details girlie we won't tell" one of your workmate jokes, clearly drunk

You take a few more seconds to think before you say your answer

"I guess this guy I rejected in high school"

"What? Oh my gosh whoooo, tell us tell us what happened" they excitedly ask

"Oh no big deal, just a guy. He was nice, like really nice. I liked that about him, but uh I guess high school me wasn't ready for any kind of commitment so I rejected him. I choose him because I want to apologize, that's all"

"Aw did you hear that? that's so cuteee"

"So where is he now?"

"I don't know, I never really kept in touch"

You grab your glass so you can avoid any more questions, after an hour to tell them goodbye since you still have to go to work tomorrow.

And as expected you woke up with a slight headache, even though you wanted to stay in bed for the day you know you can't. You get up and get ready for the day, planning to stop by this cafe your workmates keep on mentioning on your way to work.

Good things it's still early, when you got the cafe there were only a few people inside. You can smell the freshly brewed coffee and pastries on the stand.

"Next, Hi goodmorning what can I get you?"

"Hi, can I get an iced Vanilla Latte and a bagel with cream cheese to go? Thank you" you say your order while the cashier notes it down "Okay, for a moment I'll just get your order ready"

"Sure" you wait on the counter for your order, checking the other pastries and the menu board.

Mingyu was at the back, getting some stocks ready for the day when he spots someone on the counter. He had to do a double take to make sure it was you standing in his cafe, immediately a smile forming on his face as he watch you look at the display case.

You're too lost in your own world to notice him now standing Infront of you so he clears his throat to get your attention, "Can I get you something else, see anything you like?" he asks

He can see you weren't expecting to see him here, out of all places.

What in the twisted fate was this, you think to yourself.

"Oh uh the other barista already took my order" you tell him, Mingyu goes to the other guy telling him something before returning to the register with your order, "One iced vanilla latte and bagel with cream cheese, here you go. Anything else?" he asks again

"I think this is all for now, so how much?"

"On the house" Mingyu says with a smile, makes you wonder if he does this on a regular basis but you shake the thought away.

"What? No, come on I'll feel bad. Tell me how much" you tell Mingyu but he just shakes his head at you

"Free coffee for the pretty lady"

"Do you tell all your lady customers that?" you ask him, the words already out before you can stop yourself. You can feel your cheeks heat up but Mingyu just chuckles, again he shakes his head

"Just you, tell me next time how's our coffee and baked goods are then we'll call it even" he tells you, pointing at the suggestion box

"Are you sure? My workmates recommended this place and they said the coffee is good but I never really went with them" you tell him,

"You work close by?"

"A few blocks from here, I sometimes pass by here but it's always so busy. I guess I got lucky today"

All this time you were this close to where he was and he never knew. Mingyu mentally agrees with you, indeed it is a lucky day because for the first time since he met you you finally said more than one sentence to him.

17 year old Mingyu would be pouting and kicking his feet out of jealousy, he would never believe this day would come but here you are.

"Thank you for the coffee and food, uh see you around"

"You too, Y/N. It's nice to see you again" he smile again, you shoot him a small smile before going your way.

He watches you go out the door, the scene of you walking away hitting him like a Deja vu. A scene from 10 years go playing in head. Just as you were about to exit the door, to turn around to look at him behind the counter then shoot him another smile then you were gone.

This time though Mingyu wasn't left with a heart to mend but something to look forward to. Maybe just maybe this time it'll be his chance.

"You're down bad" Hoshi, his co-owner and other barista, says from beside him

"Huh?"

"Really?? Coffee for the pretty lady? so original" he laughs

"What? I never used that on anyone" Mingyu mumbles, "I know, that's why I said you're down bad. Who is she by the way?"

"Someone very special, call me when she comes back" he pats Hoshi on the shoulder before going to the back to resume his re-stocking duties.

Mingyu didn't want to expect (but he was), he would be lying if he didn't tell Hoshi he'd open tomorrow and man the register just in case you come in early again. He would be lying if he says he looked up every time the bell dings signaling another customer came in only it wasn't you.

It took you a few days before you visited again, and this time luck wasn't on Mingyu's side because he was not on duty.

"Hey, you're Mingyu's friend" Hoshi remembers you from the other day, greeting you with a big smile making his eyes almost disappear. He seems like a warm person, very friendly.

"Yeah, you can say that" you shyly answer him "Oh right sorry, what can I get you?"

"I'll get another iced vanilla latte. The last one you made was really good" you tell him

"Thanks, make sure to drop that inside our box" he jokes "Anything else?"

"Can you recommend any pastry for me to try? They all look so good"

"Honestly, not to be biased, everything's good here but that chocolate cake is extra special. Mingyu makes it himself everyday, want a slice?"

"Sure, sounds great"

Hoshi, you learn his name, goes and make your order like before then returns to the counter "Okay here you go, and the man says it's on the house"

"Huh?" you ask confused "Mingyu said it's on the house if ever you come back"

"Oh I can not not pay, he already said that the last time" you said, already getting your card out

"No really, he insists. And between us, I'd be in bigger trouble if I let you pay. If you want to scold him, feel free to do so and drop it in the box"

You chuckle, finally taking your drink and food "Thanks again, let me write something" you seat on a vacant chair to get a paper from inside your bag, writing a quick note before going back to the counter to drop it in the box. You say goodbye to Hoshi before going.

You feel your phone ring in your pocket, Dokyeom's name flashing on the screen "Barbeque later"

"Are you asking or are you telling me?"

"I'll come by after work" then he hangs up.

A few hours later, your bestfriend shows up with a few grocery bags and a loud mouth. You two catch up on what you missed on the few days you didn't get to talk, he likes staying up to date with your life even though nothing really ever happens. He's like the brother you never expected but you're now stuck with.

"Do you have any sweets here, chocolate or something" you hear him scrummaging through your kitchen

"I have a cake slice in the fridge"

Dokyeom finds it then walks back to the dining table, setting it in the middle to share between the two of you

"Oh gosh this is so good, where did you buy this?"

"At Mingyu's cafe, did you know he had one?" you ask back, Dokyeom's head springs up to look at you

"You went there? Mingyu did mention he had a cafe. So you two talked?"

"Yea he was there the first time I went, it was really nice the coffee is good. The other barista said Mingyu baked this" you tell him, taking another bite

"You know, you never told me why you rejected him"

Dokyeom suddenly mentioning that made you cough out loud, "You said you liked him right? Then all of a sudden you were telling me you rejected him"

"Are we really talking about this? It's been 10 years"

"Yea"

"Like I said, I didn't have the time and I got overwhelmed. Everyone knew who Mingyu was, I didn't want that kind of attention on me too. I guess 17 year old me got scared"

Dokyeom listens to you, watching you stab the piece of cake before taking a bite "For what it's worth, he really liked you back then. He even asked me what your favorites were, I said you liked cakes more than ice cream"

Back at the cafe, Mingyu comes in after Hoshi closes so he can start on baking tomorrow's batch of cake. He's in the kitchen getting the ingredients ready while Hoshi cleans the display case and front of the house.

He was humming to himself when he hears the kitchen door swing open, "Oh by the way Y/N dropped by today"

Mingyu forgets the number he was on, now he has to measure the flour all over again. He turns to look at his friend with an annoyed expression, Hoshi holds his hands in the air

"Hey don't blame me, not my fault she went here on your only day off. But I did say it's on the house courtesy of you, so you're welcome"

"Atleast you did something right" Mingyu says

"And she got the chocolate cake, she also dropped something in the box. Go check it when you're done, I'm going now" he waves goodbye before going to the office to do a few more things before leaving Mingyu alone at the shop.

He tries to focus first on what he's doing, going back to measuring the ingredients and putting it in the oven before going to the counter to get the box.

How will find your note here when there's about 30 others in here, he's not so sure. He reads through a few of them when finally he finds one

Coffee is great, maybe even better with company. On me next time I come back, thanks Gyu :)

He knows it's from you because of the nickname, a lot of people from highschool used to call him that. It may be common but it sounded extra special when you're the one calling him that. He takes the note and put it in his pocket before putting the others back.

Tonight's cake about to be extra good.

When Mingyu comes in the shop the next day he was expecting you to come, he wasn't going to lie about it this time.

It might seem silly but he never really got over his crush on you. There's something about you that he admired so much, even though people said you're the 'ice queen' with your stoic expression and one line answers he thinks you're just always straight to the point.

He never harbored hard feelings even after you rejected him, he understood your reasons. He knew you were focused on your studies but he just wanted to shoot his shot.

That day when he asked you, he already saw you in the gym before the game. He thought you were going to watch only for you to disappear a few minutes before they started, he chased after you with high hopes only to be handed his heart back in a few pieces. But even then he still liked you, he continued on admiring you from afar. Cheering you on your academic victories and cheering for you on your graduation day when you gave out your valedictorian speech.

He liked watching you achieve your goals, you always had that laser focus and determination. The entire class knew you deserved it.

Now a decade later, you're still the same in some ways. The night during the reunion party, he didn't expect to see you there. You didn't age a day, you still look so beautiful. You now carry this confident but reserved aura around you, he admits he was a bit intimidated to approach you so he thanks Dokyeom for being there.

The day passed by and still no sign of you, when he turns the open sign over to close he lets out the biggest sigh. Looking at the last slice of cake on the stand, ironically very similar to him. Waiting for you to come by.

He's busy mopping the floors to notice he didn't lock the front door, you just got out of work and decided to check if the cafe was still open. The sign said closed but you spot Mingyu inside so you try to knock on the glass door but he couldn't hear you so you let yourself in.

You walk closer to where he was before tapping him on the back making the tall man jump up in the air with mop in hand.

Mingyu turns around, holding his hand to his chest as he looks at you blinking back at him "Fuck you scared the shit out of me, sorry" he mumbles the apology after letting a few curses out

"Sorry, I didn't mean too. I knocked but you couldn't hear. Uhm is it a bad time?"

"No, I mean no it's good. I was just cleaning up. Do you want anything?" he asks you, putting the mop in the bucket before walking towards the counter with you following. He stands by the cashier while you stand on the other side

You spot the last piece of cake like it's calling your name, Mingyu following your gaze. Smiling to himself while he waits for your order.

"I'll get the last piece of chocolate cake, please. Hoshi recommended it yesterday and it was really food. Glad I got the last one" you smile

Little did you know he made that recipe with you in mind. He knew you liked chocolate cakes. "Chocolate cake coming up, anything else? Our cookies are good too, let me get some for you"

"As long as you let me pay for it"

"Not a chance, miss" Mingyu smirks, putting the remaining cookies in a box along with the cake before walking back to face you

"Not this again, you already got it for me the last few times I was here. How will you run a business if you keep on giving it out for free"

"I don't always do it" Mingyu shrugs

"Just let me pay please" you say giving him your card but he just pushes it back

"No"

"Mingyu"

He smiles, looking over at you. For a second you were taken back by his stare. The only way you can describe it was sweet, he looked so sweet like the cake he baked. He looked so soft and gentle like he wouldn't break a heart.

"Come back next time, I'll let you pay"

"You said that the last time"

"Then keep coming back, maybe one day I'll let you" he confidently tells you, the underlying message of wanting to see you again lies in the air. He holds his breath waiting for your next words,

"If you don't let me pay the next time, I won't come back" you threaten him cutely, finally taking the bag from him. Mingyu smiles walking to the other side to walk you out.

Before you reach the door you stop, "Actually, there's something I need to tell you" you turn to look up at him

"Go ahead, I'm listening"

You take a few seconds, again surprised with how he's staring right at you. Like he's seeing all of you.

"I would like to apologize for what happened before, you know the whole rejection thing. I know it's a bit overdue, actually it's very overdue but I've always wanted to say sorry. Someone asked me if I was in a room full of all the people I liked, who would I run to I said you. That's because I wanted to say sorry... so yea. I'm sorry" you mumble, now you're looking at his chest. Too shy to look at him

"You like me?" Mingyu mumbles

This make you look at him again, "That's all you heard?"

"I mean I appreciate the thought, apology accepted. Now back to my question.. I heard that right, right?"

"You're not wrong"

You and your one liner answers.

"So how many are there in the room" he asks, now he's teasing you. You can't help but scowl at him, rolling your eyes.

"It's a very short list and you're missing my point"

"No I get it, and no need to apologize. I respect your decision back then and I still do now. No need to say sorry over that, no hard feelings" he smiles at you.

Mingyu wanted to reach out and hold your hand but he stops himself. He didn't want to mess this again with you, if this is finally his second chance then he's not going to do anything to mess it up.

"I really am, it's been 10 years but I just wanted to tell you that. So yea.. that's uh that's all"

"Can I ask something?"

"What?" you ask back "Who else would be in the room with me, do I know the others"

"Oh my gosh! It's a very short list"

He laughs at your answer, reaching up to tuck the loose hair than fell on your face behind your ear.

"I believe you, tell me about it next time you get coffee"

"Seriously making me rethink about coming back here" you pout, this made Mingyu's heart pound like crazy. A hundred shots of espresso got nothing on you. Only you can make him feel this way, so alive.

"I'll bake you a cake" he bargains

"Chocolate?"

"All yours, on the house"

[zeropro]

What are your thoughts on transformers prime and transformers one?

TL:DR I liked both! TFP was my first Transformers show that I watched all the way through and TF1 was a lot of fun! Opinions on Starscream under the break pfpfpfpfpfpf

Prime was literally my first Transformers experience (Okay that's not true, I did see the first Bay movie when it came out but lets not talk about that). It's really good! My favorite character was Ratchet, I loved that he's just a tired, grumpy, racist old man and he's a doctor. Knock Out was the best thing to come out of TFP and he really should be in more stuff. Really would have loved a fourth season but it wouldn't have been the same without the children around. I liked what we got!

Prime has an excellent Starscream, Steve Blume does an amazing performance with both his deep conniving gravel and his high pitched terrified sputtering. So much character in his animation too, especially in later seasons, and an incredibly compelling character arc. Prime Starscream is not a good person, but I would burn the world for him, and I like the small moments in the show that hint at something in his character that could be turned to good, but circumstance always works against him in that regard. He's just so pathetic, but also competent and dangerous, all the best qualities of a Starscream and a very unique design!

Transformers One was quite good, I was worried because of the trailers but I was surprised by how well executed it all was. None of the characters were annoying, and making Optimus Prime originally one of the oppressed class alongside Megatron was a good move. The scene where Orion gives Dee the sticker is so cute, I simply cannot. The ending felt a bit rushed but what can you do, it wasnt so bad that it's a problem for me.

I would have loved just a little more Starscream in the movie! Like, I knew he wasn't really gonna be in the movie much so i was prepared for it to be little more than a glorified cameo, but I loved a lot of what we did get and I feel like it was missing just a little bit more! Like, the whole High Guard turned rogue backstory he has is great, implies some honor to his character since he didnt keep serving Sentinal when the guy turned Cybertron over to the Quintissance. I think it's hilarious that Starscream is so much older than Megatron. Like, they gave us a lot of food to make headcanons out of, but then the rushed ending kind of left me with no real reason given for him and the rest of the High Guard to go with Megatron without a fight. Like, I think the reason given was that, because Megatron beat him up that one time, and then killed Sentinal, and since the High Guard became a might makes right society and hates Sentinal, I guess thats why they are loyal to him now. And I guess the one line where Starscream is like "all hail megatron" is supposed to indicate he's 100% behind Megatron now and not just a spur of the moment thing. And I guess them following his command to destroy the city is why theyre being banished. But like...idk, every other plot point was well established and properly played out, and the whole decepticons thing just didnt really feel like enough, and i kind of feel like it should have been more clearly communicated considering its an entire one side of a two sided war? I feel like we werent shown the high guard doing anything egregiously bad besides attacking people because megatron told them to.

Like, there's nothing in the movie to suggest that Starscream and the High Guard arent still loyal to the Primes. So when Orion comes back as a prime, like a proper prime, with the matrix and everything, which everyone knows will make the energon flow again, I'm surprised Starscream didnt at least try to make excuses or worm his way into avoiding banishment? My headcanon is he wanted to kill Sentinal as bad as Megatron and so when Megatron finally does what he failed to do for 50 cycles, he's like aite im ride or die for this guy. Maybe 50 cycles of living in the wilderness doing nothing but scout and pit fight all day changes a guy and they dont wanna live in a society anymore. Why dont they accept Optimus as the new prime? They helped him and Elita save their friends, and unlike Sentinal Optimus has the actual Matrix this time. Idk mang. Woulda liked a bit more.

Transformers One, not my favorite design for Starscream. The head vents going wide at the bottom look weird to me, and his legs are so long and flat.

Thems my opinions!

[darkdragon768]

Ok.

They sent me home.

[mirixmoya]

my initial first-read thoughts for SOTR PART II: THE RASCAL there will be MAJOR SPOILERS under the cut but pls enjoy :)

chapter 10;

fake louella is so interesting, i'm excited to see where this plot point goes

"and someone's definitely rapping at my chamber door." we are 2 for 2 on The Raven references that's wild

"what breaks a machine?" "time." and the machine in question is the Capitol itself suzanne u kinda ate w that.

chapter 11;

whatever u do don't think about haymitch and burdock sneaking into victors' village to admire the luxury of the houses only for haymitch (and burdock's daughter) to spend great portions of their lives trapped in those houses drowning in their luxury

beetee entrusting this complicated ass plan to a 16 year old is crazy work bro

maysilee trying not to giggle at haymitch's singing... her and effie would be best friends i fear

haymitch picking up the word aphorism from snow immediately and using it himself ohhhh my sweet clever boy :(

chapter 12;

ceasar flickerman mention thank u jesus

guys... guys i'm not even joking i read the words "big, big, big day" and i burst into tears #normal

chapter 13;

ITS REAL ITS REALLY HER HOLY FUC K

OLDER SISTER EFFIE CANON

ngl i did not think we would get an effie cameo. not even a little bit. i didn't even let myself hope for it in any small way. life is so fucking good rn

okay so effie is obviously a Little Older than we've all be writing her huh

"well, she's swallowed the capitol propaganda hook and took the line and sinker with it, but at least she's brought us some decent footwear." TEARS. TEARS IN MY EYES.

i cannot believe i have lived to see the day where we actually get canon haymitch pov perceiving effie this is crazy

The Trinkets being slightly socially disgraced... interesting.

"For a moment, they're just two girls on a mission to beautiful the world." WHAT DID I SAY. I KNEW THEY WOULD BE BESTIES.

HAYFFIE CRUMBS HAYFFIE CRUMBS

not him jumping to pick up her shit for her... in a world of boys he's a gentlemen

EFFIE THINKS HE'S BEAUTIFUL :((((

"the capitol citizens lose it and so do i, until i remember the joke's not just on panache. it's on all of us stupid, clawed district piglets. animals for their entertainment." haymitch gaining class consciousness in real time

"and you, darling?" okayyy abernathy charm

effie just hanging around in the background in making me inexplicably happy. i am smiling and giggling

not her tryna shoot her shot by putting the flower on his label okayyy miss Effie Subtlety Trinket

chapter 14;

"sometimes she cries because things are so beautiful and we keep messing them up. because the world doesn't have to be so terrifying. that's on people, not the world." felt that one in my chest my god...

"i love you like all-fire. that's for always." this food is so fucking good suzanne

effie and plutarch going this far back is... interesting. then why didn't u save her ass from prison during the 75th SIR?

"i hate needles" PLASTIC SURGERY PHOBIC EFFIE CANON!!!!

another The Raven reference... what is going on

chapter 15;

mags mother of millions

MORE HAYFFIE CRUMBS SUZANNE I OWE U MY LIFE

haymitch asking her to make sure the token gets back to lenore dove... effie laying a hand on his chest and promising to do her best... the interconnected web that is haydove / hayffie has never been more alive

effie being the last person he sees before going into the arena is kinda insanely romantic??? "locking my eyes on hers until things go black" ??? hello??

chapter 16;

"the games must end. here. now." and then he's gonna spend so many years watching them happen over and over and over again suzanne how dare u

"i don't want one of my last acts to be taking out an ally, especially a dove-coloured one." he loves lenore dove sm im crying fr

"fire is catching, she'd say" ... suzanne is doing comedy now

chapter 17;

"i can't keep one of them safe. why do they flock to me?" just thought about him having this mindset for the next 40 years and cried :(((

chapter 18;

"in a way, it's a comfort that a bunch of people i know have gone before me." my baby :( spoken too soon girl :(

haymitch trying to blow this shit up katniss&haymitch fatherdaughterism has never been more alive and well

ampert :( haymitch's closeness with a lot of the victors makes so much more sense now. like it's not JUST that they hang out during the in-between years but their lives are tied so closely together from the moment haymitch enters the games.

is the goose and the common song silly? yes. is it important to remember that the enclosure of common land is historically and inextricably linked to (1) the rise of private property, (2) increasingly powerful centralized states, (3) the economic dependence of the labouring poor on their lords of the land. suzanne u big history nerd

he's so hopeful :( he believes so hard :( it's sad to know that that's all slowly washed out of him :(

more slightly intelligent thoughts! even more rambly nothing thoughts! either way i hope u enjoyed :)

[x0cup1dluv]

SHADOW OF DESIRE

Mafia!jungkook x introvert!reader

Info:

Kim y/n: age 20, introvert, anxiety, future songwriter.

Jeon Jungkook: age 22, confident, manwhore, mafia son.

Both enrolled into Yonsei University.

————————

Warnings: Smut!!!! Dark romance, abuse, toxic relationship, yearning (a man who yearns is a man who earns), smut smut smut smut, bullying, deals, smoking, smut smut smut, virginity lost, smooth sex, rough sex, blood from virginity, etc….

————————

Please be cautious because some themes may be suggestive!

This is my first story I’ve written and there’s gonna be multiple chapters!!!!

It was November 4th 2025. The time was currently 11:43 pm. I have my first day at my new college tomorrow since i transferred. I am so nervous.

I've suffered from really bad anxiety ever since freshman year. I'm on medication but we all know anxiety never truly goes away...

Every time I had anything come up where social interaction was involved I would panic.

Currently, I'm laying in bed looking at the ceiling. I can't stop thinking about tomorrow. What are people gonna think of me? Will I get bullied just like high-school? Oh gosh! People are gonna stare at me while I introduce myself!

Fuck.

I've got to get a hold of myself.

My life can't go on like this.

I turn to the side to get into a more comfortable position to fall asleep.

And around 25 minutes later, I did thank god.

————

I wake up to the sound of my alarm which is at 7:30 am. My class is at 9:15 but I like to get a good start of my day.

I walk to my small kitchen in my studio apartment.

I love my apartment. It's very cozy to me and I love my view of Seoul.

Is it the best apartment I could dream of? No. But it works as I am a college student.

I'm currently trying to get my degree in literature. I love writing and my goal is to become a songwriter and eventually maybe even a producer.

I know I could've avoided college with that job choice. Everyone tells me that. But I just didn't want to miss out on college since people hype it up so much.

I get my matcha and drink it sitting in my chair looking out to the city.

At around 8:00 am I get changed into my uniform before packing my bag. I pop my anxiety medicine in my bag just incase.

Fast forward, it's now 8:15 and I leave my house to get to the train stop. The walk to the subway station is about 15 minutes and I would get to the university around 8:45.

————

I step onto the Yonsei university campus. Gosh it's even more beautiful than I could imagine. It looks like a castle and everything is so gorgeous.

I go to check in and get directions to my class which was easy to navigate.

Once I walk in, I see people all talking to each other. Which was weird to me cause my previous college, no one really talked we all just wanted to get our diploma and leave.

I sit in a non-occupied seat in the 4th row of the class.

As I'm unpacking my bag to get all my stationary out I see 3 girls walk up to my desk.

"Oh! You must be new here?"

A random girl was talking to me? She had longer black hair and was very petite. She was pretty. But I didn't get a good vibe from her. She also had 2 little minions standing behind her giggling.

My eyes widen as I look up at her. "Uh- yeah I just transferred." I say nervously.

"Oh well I hate to break it to you...but uhm that's mg seat." She says pointing her finger at my desk.

"I will move." I say putting my book back in my bag.

"Hey! You should at least apologize for being so oblivious! Do you even know who she is?" One of her minions speaks to me. She's wearing a white beanie with yellow knee high socks and white heels.

I look back at the main girl in the middle "Sorry, I don't recognize you. Who are you?"

She scoffs. "Uhm hello? I'm Karina. Doesn't ring a bell? Guess not to low lives. Well just know my dad owns many companies in South Korea so I'm a pretty big deal." She gives me a creepy looking smile.

I nod my head. "Oh nice...well I'll get going now."

"Wow how pathetic are you? You won't even properly introduce yourself?"

I stand up with my bag and look at her. "Sorry I-"

"Leave her alone." A more masculine voice comes from behind the girls. He was tall, muscular and had dark features. Scared me actually.

"Oh my gosh Jungkook, you're defending her?" Winter asks him.

"She's new here give her a break." He looks me up and down.

"Whatever waste of my time anyway." Karina and her minions leave to go find another seat.

I sit back down and put my stuff back out. Ignoring Jungkook.

"A thank you would be polite."

I look up at him. "T- Thanks."

He scoffs and walks off.

—————

After class I grab my bags to head back to my apartment.

Once I get home I immediately start on my homework just to get it out of the way.

I had some ramen for dinner. I'm pretty short on money so cheaper foods is all I can really afford in the meantime.

Hours later and I lay in my bed thinking about jungkook and why he would defend me?

I guess we will never know....

————————————————————————

HII GUYSSS!!!

What do yall think of this first chapter? This is my first wattpad story so I hope you all enjoy it!!! Comments and criticisms are really appreciated. I'm currently planning out the next chapter.

[scmg11]

KATE BISHOP x READER

THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA

A/N: HELLO, HELLO, HELLO BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE! How are you?

I know, I know, I've disappeared again, but I've been struggling with my calculus exam and it's driving me crazy! But here I am!

Not gonna lie, I had so much fun writing this and I'm pretty proud of everything turned out (I was actually going to make this a book, but who knows? Tell me what you think *wink*).

As always, I'm sending you guys so so much love ❤️

Enjoy ❤️

-

Summary: Kate, CEO of BishopTech, is in need of a new assistant but has the reputation of keeping them for less than two days before firing them? Is Y/N going to last longer? She is there to stay.

Warnings: crass language, kissing but nothing too explicit.

Word count: 28343 words.

-

"Oh no, no, no, please no!" Y/N sprinted down the street to take the bus but before she could get in the doors closed and it drove away. "Great. Just fucking great!" Y/N lifted her arms up in the air in frustration then slammed them on her sides, huffing out angrily. "I’m gonna be fucking late for my job interview. Just great." Y/N spent a few seconds to regain her breath on the curb before murmuring under her breath, "and also a lot more broke than expected." Y/N sighed out loud dramatically and lifted her left hand up to call for a cab that was luckily driving down the street, "where to?"

Y/N gave the driver the address and sighed out in relief after controlling her phone. 7:54. She won’t be late.

-

"Miss Y/L/N?" Y/N lifted her head from her phone when she heard someone calling her last name and smiled at the blonde already grinning at her as she sat up and walked towards her, standing on the threshold of the room she was just in.

"Hi, I’m Y/N."

"I’m Carol. I’m the head of the Nanotech Department, but today I’m your interviewer for your job interview." Carol introduced herself after closing the door behind her and smiled widely at Y/N signaling her to sit on the chair in front of her huge wooden desk. As soon as Carol sat down, Y/N opened her bag and grabbed her resume, offering to the blond, who took a few moments to skid her eyes over the paper but focusing on each word written on it, while Y/N wrung on her fingers nervously, her eyes jumping from each object present in Carol’s room to distract herself, "really impressing Miss Y/L/N. You graduated with highest honors in Electronic and Computer engineering at Stanford. Top of every class. Oh top scorer in your soccer team, I see! Impressive. Very impressive. Have you and your team ever won something?"

"Yeah, we won 3 tournaments in a row."

"Wow, do you still play?"

"Sometimes. Not as much as I want to since all my teammates are still in California." Y/N shrugged, showing a nostalgic smile as she remembered all the good times she had with her teammates and friends.

"That’s sad. I always admired soccer, it’s a very interesting sport." Carol commented while taking a few more looks at Y/N’s resume, then moved on asking a few more questions to Y/N, a few personals, but most of them were about a few technical stuff and as the interview went on, Carol found herself surprisingly but also delightfully stunned at how wonderfully Y/N’s mind worked, "you are surely the best candidate I had interviewed today. So-." Carol stretched her serious, professional frown into a wide smile as she prepared to give Y/N good news, but got stopped mid-sentence by her phone on her desk ringing loudly, "excuse me for a moment." Carol smiled apologetically at Y/N, who nodded in understanding and tried to look around casually to not make it obvious she was listening to the call Carol just answered, "yes? No, I had been busy this morning with interviews for the job you told me about. Yeah. No but- what? But- okay fine. I’ll see you in a bit. Bye." Carol sighed out after ending the call and placed her phone back down on the desk, "well, this is unfortunate. I was actually gonna give you the job but sadly our engineer that was retiring isn’t retiring anymore since he has to finish a few projects before doing that."

"Oh, that’s- cool I guess." Y/N muttered sadly, feeling her heart falling into her stomach and her eyes stinging a bit with unshed tears, but she resolutely held them in, scratching her forehead instead to calm herself down.

"No but, wait. You are a great engineer and after this interview I would be a complete idiot not assuming you. But unfortunately we don’t have any vacant spots at the moment. For engineer positions at least." Carol’s sad expression morphed into a mischievous one, staring at Y/N as she lifted her right eyebrow up.

"I’m not following." Y/N spoke out uncertainly and looked at Carol confused, but the blonde was quick to explain further.

"The CEO of this company fired her last assistant just last night. She absolutely needs another one." Carol explained, hoping Y/N understood what she meant, but when Y/N kept staring at her with her eyebrows knitted in confusion, she continued, "what I’m trying to say is- I’m offering you a job as her new assistant. I know it’s not what you came here for, but it can pave you the way to a spot as an engineer here. You can still show your value as her assistant. Please, think about it. This company really needs you and your mind." Y/N thought over all the options she had. She came here this morning for a job here, but as an engineer. It was what she wanted. It was the reason she left her home in California and moved to New York, to start new in a new city. She needed a job. Especially because she was broke and needed to pay the rent. So any type of job, at least in the beginning, would suffice. It couldn’t be that bad being an assistant, right? The CEO’s assistant to be exact, so it will be a really important spot to an extent. And also, she had always been a well organized person, she could do that for someone else. Right? And it could lead her to the job she dreamed to have here. After a few more moments of weighing the pros and cons of this job offer, she stared at Carol resolutely.

"Okay."

"Okay?" Carol asked a bit perplexed, not exactly believing Y/N actually considered her offer, that quickly even.

"Yeah. I accept your offer."

"Wow, okay. Hm- this may sound maybe a bit too much but- can you start like- now?"

"What?"

"I know it’s fast. But our CEO needs an assistant as soon as possible. She tends to be pretty busy and she needs someone to help her out."

"Okay? Yeah, okay. Hm- do I need to know something about being an assistant?" Y/N asked uncertainly as she shrugged anxiously.

"Okay? Oh, that’s great! C’mon, I’ll take you to our CEO, then." Carol sat up from her chair and signaled Y/N do the same, opening the door for her and leading her down a big hallway that lead to the elevator. "To answer your question all you need is to be well organized to sort out our CEO’s agenda. Oh and a lot of patience. She tends to be a bit- hm- tough sometimes. But please hold on tight. We need you here." As Carol finished speaking, the loud ‘ding’ of the elevator ringed loudly to signal its arrival and the two girls filed in the elevator.

The ride was pretty quick since Carol’s office was 5 floors down the company’s CEO’s one, but it was filled with quick advices to be the CEO’s assistant here. "What do you mean with ‘she tends to be a bit tough’?" Y/N asked as they filed out of the elevator, keeping up a fast pace to an happy and giddy Carol.

"Nothing to worry about too much. She likes to annoy her assistants that much that they quit or she gives them a real reason to fire them- in like two days."

"What?!" Y/N asked bewildered, whipping her head around to stare at Carol in disbelief but it was too late, Carol was already knocking on the CEO’s door with a big, bright smile on her lips and a few moments later a quiet ‘come in’ reached the two girls’ ears, making Carol open the door swiftly.

"Hey boss, are you busy?"

"Just give me a second, I’m finishing this report." Y/N heard a deep, husky voice coming from behind a big computer and tried to take a look at the mysterious woman typing away on the keyboard and sighed out loudly when she didn’t succeed in her task as she was hid away behind her computer.

"It won’t take too long. I came here to tell you, you don’t need to find a new assistant anymore. I got you one."

The woman behind the big wooden desk stopped her frantic typing and finally came into view as she peeked her head to the side of her huge desktop, almost knocking the air out of Y/N’s lungs with her endless beauty, "I don’t need a new assistant. I already told you that."

"No, you need an assistant. We talked about this. So I nicely took over the interview part and found one. She is great for this job." Y/N gulped loudly when the woman’s ocean blue eyes focused on her and gave her a once over, scrutinizing her carefully, causing her to stay frozen on her spot, incapable of moving with those eyes on her.

"No." Kate finally said and moved back behind the computer, resuming her frantic typing on the keyboard.

"C’mon! Do it for me. I promise you she will be the best assistant you’ve ever had." Carol pushed as she stressed her words, "please."

"One week."

"Six months." Carol counter offered, lifting her right eyebrow up when Kate stopped typing and leaned over the computer to look at Carol unamused once again.

The blue eyed woman scoffed and shook her head, "two weeks."

"Four months."

"Three weeks."

"Three months." Carol counter offered again with a firm tone, pining the woman down with a resolute look and it seemed to work as a moment later the black haired girl slumped her taut shoulders and sighed out loud.

"Okay fine. If she quits before the month ends, I will not be held responsible."

"Oh please, you always are the reason why your assistants quit."

"It won’t happen." Y/N spoke for the first time since she entered the room, making two pair of eyes focus on her and she gulped again. Carol nodded at her proudly, while the black haired girl’s gaze stayed curious but held a bit of mischief that made Y/N shiver. "I won’t quit."

"We’ll see about that." The black haired woman stated in a low, raspy tone, that it totally didn’t make Y/N tremble, and seemed to think about something for a few seconds because her face almost lighted up like a Christmas tree before she spoke up again, "when can you start?"

"Now." Both Y/N and Carol spoke at the same time, making the CEO nod impressed. For a few moments silence fell in the room with Carol staring at the black haired woman almost in reprimand, while she looked at Y/N like she was the predator getting ready to jump on its prey, but it was short lived when Carol’s phone broke the silence ringing loudly.

"Sorry- I need to go." The blonde grimaced at Y/N after controlling the ID caller then stared Kate down with a warning glint in her eyes once more, "you-." Carol trailed off pointing at the black haired woman, who lifted her eyebrow up and smirked defiantly, "behave."

With that Carol bid the two girls goodbye and walked out of the room while answering her phone, the door closing behind her, "okay, Jenny. Since you decided to punish yourself and me with you being here and wanting to be my assistant-." The black haired girl resumed typing on the keyboard without looking at Y/N, "I want you to call Frank from the LarryCorp, Trevor from NanoTech, Gary from PML and Lauren from Logan Limited and invite them here to talk about our last product that needs to be introduced to the market. Then I want you to go the laundry and pick up the suit for a party I need to go on Thursday. Then you can order my lunch- chicken salad with no kale and tomatoes. Oh then you need to call Shuri here, I need to discuss with her regarding a few things about our prototype. Then you-." Kate stopped talking when she diverted her gaze for a moment on Y/N and found her wringing on her fingers in the middle of the room, looking like a deer in headlights, "I’m sorry, was I boring you with my schedule?"

"No- I just- I don’t have a notebook with me."

"Then fucking get one. Or type on your phone, or try to put your fucking brain to work. I don’t care. I hope you’ll remember everything I told you. I expect an update on every single thing I told you in 30 minutes."

Y/N tried to open her mouth to counter back wittingly but decided against it when the black haired girl resumed her typing and was clearly over with the conversation, so she turned around and walked towards the door but before exiting the CEO’s office, she turned towards the blue eyed girl and spoke up with annoyance clear in her tone, "it’s Y/N, by the way."

"I don’t care." Kate countered back quickly, still not looking at Y/N and keeping typing on her keyboard.

With that Y/N exited the room and after closing the door, she leaned her body on it and sighed out loudly, "what a fucking bitch."

"New recruit?" A red haired woman approached Y/N with an apologetic smile as she carried a stack of paperwork, looking at her with an apologetic grimace.

"Yeah, I am her new assistant." Y/N pointed with her thumb to the room behind her and shook her head softly with an humorless laugh.

"Kate can be a bit tough sometimes, but once she warms up to you, she is a sweetheart. Let’s just say she is not prone on warming up to her assistants." The redhead stated with a warm smile and a snort before signaling Y/N with a small tilt of her head to follow her, "I’m Wanda."

"Y/N, nice to meet you. Do you need a hand?"

"No, don’t worry, I just need to put them on my desk before delivering it to my boss." Wanda pointed to two doors down Kate’s one after placing the stack of papers on her desk and Y/N nodded in understanding.

"Hm- listen, I’m not usually someone that asks for help but- this is my first day here and I actually have never been an assistant in my life. Can you help me?"

"Of course! What did Kate asked you to do?"

"Hm, she said a lot of things- I didn’t have a notebook so I need to remember everything she said. Okay- hm- she said something about a laundry. I need to pick up her suit for a party on Thursday and she asked me to order her lunch. That’s what ai remember the most, then she said to call a bunch of people for a meeting for a new device, oh and she asked to call someone named Shirley- no- Sheila- no-hm-."

"Shuri."

"Yeah! That. Hm- I think that’s all."

"Okay, I can handle a few things since I have a little bit of free time. I will take care of her laundry and call those people. I know who she was talking about. Jane has that meeting on her agenda next week already. Here-." Wanda trailed off to write down something on a small piece of paper and gave it to Y/N. "This is her favorite restaurant’s number. Chicken salad, no kale and tomatoes, right?"

"Yeah, how do you-?"

"I’ve sometimes helped Kate when she didn’t have an assistant after making her quit."

"Oh, okay."

"Then, go to the 14th floor and ask Okoye for Shuri to send her up here."

"Noted. Thank you so much Wanda. I owe you big time."

"Ah, there’s no need." Wanda waved Y/N off like it was no big deal doing almost everything Kate asked her to in her stead while rounding her desk and sitting on her chair, already picking up the phone on the desk to make a call. "How much time do you have?"

"About 26 minutes."

"Alright, in 15 minutes you will be done with everything and will communicate it to her, just to impress Kate on your first day." Wanda winked before signaling her to move toward her desk to call the restaurant, Y/N immediately moving to the empty desk and picking up the phone.

-

"Hm, hi. I’m looking for-hm- Shuri."

"A new face." Okoye looked up from the paper she was reading and gazed up and down Y/N with a blank face.

"Yeah, I’m Miss Bishop’s new assistant."

"Oh, poor kid." Okoye looked at Y/N with sorrow on her features as she sat up from her chair and rounded the desk to pat Y/N’s shoulder gently, an apologetic frown never leaving her face, "how is it going?"

"It’s been 12 minutes and I already need a vacation."

Okoye laughed heartily and nodded, "oh, I bet. Anyway, are you looking for Shuri?"

"Yeah, Miss Bishop needs her in her office to talk about-."

"Our prototype." A voice behind Y/N stopped Y/N mid-sentence and caused the Y/H/C girl to turn around to look at who interrupted her. "Hi, I’m Shuri."

"Y/N, Miss Bishop’s new assistant."

"Oh, I’m so sorry." Shuri looked apologetically at Y/N before patting her shoulder like Okoye did, "anyway, let’s go before she gets mad."

-

"Jenny!" It was later that day and Y/N was typing a few things on her new desktop as she organized Kate’s messy agenda, the assistant that was here before her did such a poor job with it that every appointment was in the wrong place or misspelled, while Wanda was finishing printing a few paperwork for Jane. "Jenny!"

"Who’s Jenny?" Wanda asked after hearing Kate shouting that name again and looked at Y/N quizzically, who sported an annoyed look on her face while sighing loudly, already sitting up from her.

"Me. That’s how she registered my name."

Wanda placed her hand on her mouth to suppress a snort while Y/N rolled her eyes good-naturedly at her before opening the door to her boss’ office, "Jenny, how many times do I fucking need to call you before you come here?"

"If you call me by my real name, I will surely come faster." Y/N retorted wittingly, smiling too sweetly at the black haired girl, who looked up immediately at her from the papers she was reviewing, a withering glint shining in her ocean blue eyes.

"I would shove that attitude up your ass if I were you. Remember who is in charge." Kate countered back with a snaring tone and Y/N immediately nodded and lowered her gaze, clutching on her notepad and pen.

"I’m sorry."

"That’s better. I need a report from Clint. It’s in the drawer." Kate pointed to the drawer right beside her and Y/N looked at her bewildered. She swallowed the ‘you could’ve grabbed it yourself’ and obliged, sauntering towards Kate and opening the drawer. She found Clint’s folder and opened it, furrowing her eyebrows as she wondered what she was looking for, "are you looking for a solution to the cold fusion?"

"Hm- no?"

"Then why the fuck does it take you so long for that file?"

Y/N rolled her eyes inwardly and tried to answer without telling her boss to fuck off, "I don’t know what I’m looking for."

"The nano-robotic files from June."

Y/N nodded, although she knew Kate couldn’t see her as she was still focused on her papers, and quickly grabbed the files she asked for and gave them to her. "Do you need anything else?"

"No, that’s it." And with that Y/N walked out of the office, sitting down unceremoniously on her chair and sighing loudly as she rubbed her temples.

"You okay?" Y/N looked up to a girl, smiling apologetically at her before focusing on Wanda beside her looking at her with a small smile.

"Yeah, just- rough first day. I-I’m Y/N Y/L/N."

"Oh, you’re Kate’s new assistant. I’m so sorry."

"You guys here have been telling me this the whole day." Y/N snorted humorlessly and Wanda snorted under her breath.

"Because Kate is a sweetheart but just not with her assistants. I’m Jane by the way." The brunette offered her hand to Y/N and Y/N was quick to shake it, smiling warmly at her.

"My pleasure."

"Wan, honey, I need the reports we talked about in 10 minutes. Thank you. It was a pleasure Y/N and please, hold on tight. You seem nice and it would be great having you around."

"Thank you so much. If you ever need an extra hand, I will gladly help you."

"That’s lovely of you." And with a smile Jane moved to her office. Y/N waited until the door closed before turning to Wanda and looking at her pleadingly, "can we switch bosses?"

-

"Ugh, I need fucking vacation." Y/N slumped on her chair for the umpteenth time that day, fatigue from the day weighing on her shoulders.

"It’s only been two days, Y/N." Wanda countered back with a small giggle and sat on Y/N’s desk beside her.

"I don’t even want to imagine what a week with her will be. And to think I came here to be an engineer."

"What?"

"Oh- you see." Y/N laughed when Wanda stared at her in bewilderment, "yesterday I actually came here for the vacant spot Clint was leaving to retire." Wanda nodded as she followed Y/N’s words, "I almost got it, until someone told Carol he won’t retire until his last projects are done."

"Oh Y/N, I’m so sorry."

"It’s fine. Carol wanted me to work for this company, so she proposed to be Kate’s assistant until that electronic engineer spot is free again." Y/N shrugged and smiled at Wanda a bit uncertainly, the redhead looking at her apologetically.

"I’m so sorry Y/N. But look it on the bright side, that job is yours. You just need to hang tight as Kate’s assistant."

"Yeah, it’s a little bit easier said than done though." Wanda giggled at that and nodded, patting Y/N’s shoulder softly.

"I know. But hey- it’s Friday and we’re almost done. Wanna get a few drinks?"

Y/N looked at a hopeful Wanda and smiled brightly at her, "are you kidding? I will need more than a few drinks to forget about these past two days and to get myself ready for the next."

-

"Hm- hello?" Y/N fought sleep as she answered her phone and took a look at the alarm beside her showing 4:48 a.m. on it.

"JENNY?! WHY AREN’T YOU ANSWERING MY TEXTS?" Y/N grimaced as she pulled her phone away from her ear at Kate’s screeching tone, hearing faint EDM music in the background.

"Because it’s the middle of the night?!" Y/N couldn’t help but answer with a bit of a bitchy tone, but her sleepy mind was still trying to function properly.

"Then fucking get up and get a car to get me." And with that Kate hung up and Y/N slumped back on her pillow with a grunt.

"Bitch."

-

"Jenny!" Jane got interrupted in the middle of her retelling of their last online meeting with a few Spanish companies and Y/N sighed as she sat up from her chair.

"Who is Jenny?"

"That’s me." Y/N smiled sarcastically at Jane and watched as she suppressed a snort as she grabbed her notepad and pen, "I’m sorry. I’ll be right back."

"Jenny!" Y/N grimace at Kate’s loud scream as she opened her door and closed it right after, "does your brain have a problem communicating with your feet? Why does it take you so long to come in here when I call you."

"I-hm-." Y/N cleared her throat to swallow the witty remark and continued, "Jane was telling me about your last meeting."

Kate looked up from her phone and stayed in silence for a moment before speaking up, "I need Steve here, call him. Then you need to grab my purp-."

"Purple suit. Done. It’s already in your apartment." Kate looked at Y/N and tried to hide her impressed expression as she scrutinized her.

"Order me lunch."

"Chicken salad with no kale and tomatoes. Coming right up." Y/N was quick to continue and Kate nodded at her, but her face was still blank.

"Okay, that’s it."

Y/N nodded at Kate and smiled when she turned around and exited the office, unaware of Kate’s curious and impressed stare.

-

"I must say, I’m impressed, Jenny. You survived your first week here without hitches."

"Miss Bishop, it’s been a week. Can you please call me by my real name? It’s Y/N."

"You don’t like Jenny?" Kate asked with a wide, teasing grin on her lips, clearly messing up with Y/N. "Jenny is a great name."

"It surely is, but it’s not my name. My name is Y/N."

Silence fell down around the two girls in the big office, Kate staring up at Y/N with a blank face before a devilish grin cracked it, "alright, Jenny. I- okay, jeez. There’s no need to look at me like that! Y/N, better?" Kate rolled her eyes good-naturedly at the Y/H/C girl staring at her annoyed and lifted her arms up in surrender, a ghost of a smile adorning her lips.

"Yeah." Y/N’s annoyed look got quickly replaced with a wide grin and nodded happily at the black haired girl.

"Anyway, I called you here because I need you to go to Natasha downstairs and ask her for our cloaking device and take it to my house, with all the reports, as soon as she finishes revising it."

"Okay, do not forget you have a brunch with your mother tomorrow, at 11 a.m." Y/N was quick to remember Kate as she looked at her agenda, causing Kate to nod as she probably tried to stash that information in her mind to remember it.

"Okay, thank you."

Y/N exited Kate’s office with a wide grin that didn’t go unnoticed by Wanda, who stared at her quizzically with her eyes narrowed, "why so smiley after coming out of Kate’s office? It’s a first for an assistant."

"She called me by my real name."

"No Jenny?"

"No!" Y/N exclaimed enthusiastically, opening her arms and smiling in disbelief at Wanda as she made her way towards her sat behind her desk. "Well I technically asked her to, but she did!"

"Good, that means she is warming up to you. You can be her first assistant staying here for more than 9 days."

"I didn’t know I was here to break records." Y/N joked, making the redhead laugh heartily at her, before shaking her head to focus, "anyway, I’m going downstairs."

"Okay, do you need help to know which floor you need to go to?"

"Hm, yeah actually. She mentioned someone new. Natasha, I think. She needs a cloaking device she is working on."

"N-Natasha?" Wanda asked with wide eyes as her cheeks immediately tinted with red, a reaction that go unnoticed by the Y/H/C girl.

"Yeah."

"Oh, well, do you want me to accompany you? I mean you had never been to 16th floor."

"That would be great! Are you busy now?" Y/N exclaimed excitedly, not picking up on Wanda’s weird behavior.

"No! I mean, hm- no, I’m almost finished anyway." Wanda stated casually after sprinting up her chair and fixing her dress, but Y/N didn’t pay too much attention on her, as she walked towards her desk, grabbed her notebook and pen and joined Wanda again in front of her desk.

"Great!"

The ride to the 16th floor was quick with Wanda fluffing her hair and checking her makeup in the mirror, while Y/N took another look at Kate’s agenda. The elevator dinged and the two exited it to walk into the electronic and nano-tech labs, Wanda guiding them to where Natasha was, finding her hunched over a device on her desk, a mess with electronic parts, papers and a few tools scattered all over it.

"Wanda Maximoff. To whom do I owe my gratitude to have you here down here?" Natasha looked up from the device as soon as she heard footsteps approaching her and smiled charmingly at the redhead, something that piqued Y/N’s interest. Y/N smiled inwardly when she looked at Wanda and found her blushing as she smiled giddily at the other redhead.

"Hm, Y/N here needs you."

"Fresh meat. Hi, I’m Natasha." Y/N took the redhead’s hand and shook it with a polite grin.

"I’m Y/N, Miss Bishop’s new assistant."

"Oh you are the girl that survived for 7 days straight. Impressive."

"Yeah, I’m aiming at breaking the 9 days straight record as her assistant." Y/N joked and Natasha laughed heartily at that.

"You’re funny. I like it. I will threaten Kate to punch her in the face if she ever fires you." Natasha smirked at Y/N and resumed her work on the device after telling the girls to sit in front of her.

"Carol already told her to give me a chance for three months, so she technically forbidden her to fire me during that time." Y/N explained and Natasha nodded happily.

"That’s great." Natasha giggled and grabbed a paper on the desk, reading it before nodding and continuing with her work, "so tell me, Y/N, how is working for Kate?"

"A great challenge to be honest. She demands and expects a lot, but I think I can handle her."

"Hm, you would be the first." Natasha joked as she focused her attention on the device she was finishing fixing, while Y/N stared at her working curiously, her hands hitching to help her out but she resisted.

"Yeah well, Wanda had helped me a lot during this week. I owe her a lot."

"Oh please, I didn’t do anything special. I was happy to help." Wanda waved Y/N off with her right hand before laid her chin on her closed fists as she perched on the table to look at Natasha working. Y/N could swear she saw her eyes become heart-shaped eyes as she stared lovingly at her, that thought made her laugh inwardly.

After sharing a few more chats, Natasha lifted her eyes up from the device, focusing her attention on Y/N before looking at Wanda with a knowing glint in her blue eyes, "since it’s Friday, we need to celebrate Y/N surviving as Kate’s assistant for a week."

"Oh I really want to, but I need to go as soon as you’re done and take this device to Kate’s place."

"So what? You will join us after. We will celebrate at Cerbero. It’s a great night club, first round of drinks on me. C’mon!"

Y/N felt like it was impossible to say no to Wanda and Natasha when they stared pointedly at her and pouting, so with an entertained snort and a small shake of her head, she caved in, "alright."

"Yay!" Wanda cheered loudly as she clapped her hands before high-fiving Natasha, who sported the same wide grin as her.

-

Y/N arrived at Kate’s apartment about an hour later, balancing the device in the box on her left hip as she fumbled with the keys Kate gave her, sighing out in victory when she finally slotted the key in the lock and opened the blue eyed girl’s door. After taking the key out and balancing the box back in her hands, she entered the apartment and almost dropped the device on the floor when she was met with the sight of Kate’s face buried between some girl’s legs, both stark naked on the couch. "Oh shit." The girl murmured traumatized, trying to communicate with her feet to fucking move but her brain short-circuited and made her stand froze on her spot.

"Ah! Who are you?!" The blonde girl screamed in fright as she tried to cover herself as much as she could with her hands, but she was clearly not doing a good job. That caught Kate’s attention, who detached her mouth from the girl’s vagina and looked at the intruder, her blue eyes recognized her an instant later. Y/N really wanted to look away, but she couldn’t help but notice the black haired girl’s chin was glistening. She really hoped she had her hands free to cover her eyes, to not endure witnessing this embarrassing moment for one more second, but she sadly couldn’t.

"Y/N, what are you doing here?"

"I-I- the d-device you a-asked." Y/N cursed herself under her breath for stuttering but Kate didn’t seem to mind, as she lifted her hand from the girl’s thigh and pointed mindlessly towards her kitchen table.

"Great. Now go." After speaking, Kate didn’t wait for Y/N to exit her apartment and immediately focused her attention back on the girl spread on her couch, diving her face right back between her legs. When the blonde moaned Kate’s name loudly, Y/N’s brain finally kickstarted and made her move quickly, leaving the device on the table and flying out of Kate’s apartment.

-

"Oh my god! This is priceless. Did you really walked in on Kate fucking a girl on her couch?" Natasha asked in entertained disbelief and laughed loudly, wiping a few tears that escaped, when Y/N nodded with a grimace, Wanda doing the exact same.

"It was awful. Ugh." Y/N stated before tilting her head back and chugging a shot to try to erase those images from her brain.

"I wish I was there to see your reaction." Natasha laughed loudly again and this time leaned her body on Wanda for stability, making the other girl stop laughing and blush wildly. The other redhead didn’t pay attention to it, but it didn’t go unnoticed by Y/N, who took advantage of Natasha having her eyes closed to lift her right eyebrow up curiously at Wanda as she took a sip of her drink. Wanda’s blush deepened and that was all Y/N needed to know. She took a mental note to talk to her about it soon. "Another round?"

-

"Hey, how was your weekend?" Y/N asked when she heard footsteps approaching her, smiling sweetly at Wanda as she walked towards her, who did the same.

"Pretty good, how about yours?" Wanda asked after placing her coat on the rack and went to sit on her desk, while Y/N sat up from her chair and approached her, crossing her arms and leaning her left hip on the desk to come face to face with Wanda.

"Normal. I slept most of the time. A week here and I’m barely keeping my eyes open from how much tired I am." Y/N joked and Wanda giggled softly at her words, "now, let’s talk about the most important thing I wanted to discuss. When were you gonna tell me you have a crush on Natasha?"

"Shhhh! I don’t have a crush on her." Wanda shushed Y/N hastily before looking around her to make sure no one heard them.

"Oh yes, you do." Y/N smirked widely at Wanda, who sported a red hue on her cheeks and quickly sat up from her desk to run away from her, goin to sit on her own chair and have the desk to separate them, but it only made Y/N ten times happier as she grinned widely. "So-." Y/N started, bending slightly to lean over Wanda’s desk on her elbows and placing her head on her closed fists, making her cheeks puff a bit, "when are you gonna tell her?"

Wanda scoffed while looking at Y/N like she just went crazy, "never."

"Why?! She likes you too! Trust me, I’m good with these things."

"Hm no, you’re not?! Listen Y/N, I like our friendship, we became fast friends and you may know me that much to tell I have a crush on Natasha-."

"A-HA!" Y/N interrupted Wanda and pointed her index finger at her with a bright smile, making Wanda roll her eyes good-naturedly and emit an exasperated sigh at Y/N’s behavior but a smile stretched over her face too.

"As I was saying, you may know me, but you met Natasha just Friday and we only spent a few hours together. You don’t know her."

"Maybe, but I like to observe. That much to know that she has a habit to bit her bottom lip when she is focused on a task, or that she likes to communicate with her eyes when the object of the conversation is obvious, or that she has a smile that she reserves only for you every time you’re around. I may not know her, but my point of view, completely out of any dynamic, is the truest one you can ever get. Hell- you can even ask it to Miss Bishop, I’m sure she knows that too."

"Ask me what?" At that both girls focused on the voice coming from behind Y/N, Wanda peeking from Y/N’s left shoulder while Y/N turned only her head around to look who was behind her. Only when Y/N realized it was her boss behind her and she was literally bend over in front of her giving her a view of her ass in her black, tight jeans, Y/N widened her eyes comically and straightened her body up to a more appropriate position for a work place.

"Nothing." Y/N and Wanda spoke at the same time, sporting an embarrassed smile as both tried to avoid Kate’s scrutinizing look.

"Okay, well- Y/N, I need you in my office in 10 minutes, I have a meeting in an hour and I need every paper you can find on Tess Nicholson."

"Yeah, sure." With a nod, Kate flew into her office and closed the door behind her, making both girls relax their shoulders and let out the breath they were both holding.

"Do you think she remember I literally walked in on her fucking someone on her couch a few days ago?"

"I don’t know. Maybe she is avoiding the subject to save both of you from a deep embarrassment."

"Hm, I hope you’re right."

-

"Perfect, this is perfect! Thank you Y/N, I have everything I need to make our new possible associate join our forces."

"Do you need anything else?" Y/N tried to contain her smile from the praising words Kate just used for her even if her attention was laser focused on the papers in front of her, but she was pretty sure Kate could detect her happiness and pride in her voice.

"No, thank you. You can go." Y/N nodded and made her way towards the door, but when her hand touched the door handle, Kate’s voice stopped her in her tracks, "actually, Y/N, about Friday night-."

Y/N almost fainted as those words reached her ears and carefully turned around to face Kate again, getting ready for Kate yelling at her for not knocking or invading her privacy, "I’m so-."

But what she imagined never came, as Kate ignored her and continued, "call Shuri up into my office. There’s a problem with the prototype."

Y/N let go of the breath she didn’t know she was holding and nodded tentatively, forcing her body to find the voice she was sure she lost to feebly speak to Kate, "yeah, s-sure."

-

"How the fuck is possible that this fucking thing isn’t fucking working?! We had been working on it for over a year to fix every flaw! But every time we switch it on, 7 seconds pass and the device shuts off from overheating!" Kate stressed in frustration, walking up and down her office as she massaged her temples.

"I don’t know Kate, I run every test possible, I made so many changes but the result is always the same." Shuri explained exasperated, stressed just as Kate on something they had been working on for so long. Y/N then took a look at everyone else present in the room, as a small briefing with Shuri became an emergency meeting with a few of her best engineers to find the flaw in their new device, and found the same expression on their faces, making her furrow her eyebrows apologetically.

"It’s actually the first time it worked this long. Last month’s test resulted in the device working for only 5 seconds before shutting off." Carol chimed in the conversation, done staying quiet while staring thoughtfully at the device on Kate’s desk.

"I controlled every single electronic part in the device on Friday before Y/N delivered it at your house, Kate. Nothing it’s wrong with it." Natasha stated calmly while massaging her temples too to calm her nerves down.

"Then why the fucks is this thing not working?!" Kate repeated the question and looked at every single person present in her office in the eyes but everyone avoided her gaze as they all focused on the device, almost like they hoped it could magically work if they stared at it hard enough.

"We don’t know, Kate. Maybe I can run some more tests." Jane suggested with a calming tone as she approached Kate, trying to make her relax just a bit by gently touching her shoulder and looking at Carol, standing on Y/N’s right, for help. Y/N looked at Wanda as she finished writing down the last few things said just like Y/N was doing, writing down everything that could be helpful later on, before staring at Kate walking back and forth in distress when she moved away from Jane and sighed out softly.

"I did them just an hour ago. Our system tells nothing’s wrong, but something’s clearly wrong or this fucking thing would fucking work!" Kate exclaimed with an hard, angry voice, sighing out loud to get rid of some tension.

"Hm- have you tried to switch to active cooling system to passive cooling system?" Y/N spoke up when no one talked for over a minute, everyone closed up in their minds as they thought over for a solution, and almost regretted talking when every pair of eyes in the room fell on her.

"What?" Shuri was the first to talk, a curious glint shining in her eyes as she focused all her attention on Y/N, her mind already working on Y/N’s solution.

"Passive cooling system. It’s-hm-."

"Hm, excuse me Y/N, did you major in electronic engineering in the past five minutes? Everyone here is the best in their field and an assistant wants to take their place?" Kate asked angrily, looking like she was ready to loose it.

"I-hm-." Y/N went to answer but the fiery look in Kate’s eyes stopped her in her tracks and swallowed anything she was about to say, looking down at her feet as she wrung her fingers nervously.

"She actually is Kate." Carol butted in right after, placing a comforting hand on Y/N’s right shoulder and caressing it softly, sending a small, encouraging smile at her, that Y/N feebly mirrored as she gazed quickly in eyes before focusing back on her shoes.

"She is what?"

"An electronic engineer."

"Are you fucking with me? Because this is not the time." Kate grunted out unamused and caressed her temples again.

"No, she came here 10 days ago for a job interview for Clint’s place but Clint is not retiring anytime soon so we don’t have any place as an electronic engineer to offer to her right now. I couldn’t let her go to any other company, so I offered her to be your assistant. She is truly amazing. Let’s listen to what she was saying. Please. It could work."

Kate stayed quiet for a few moments, thinking over everything that has been said and without adding anything else, she just gestured Y/N to go on with her idea with a wave of her hand, "hm, as I was saying-." Y/N cleared her throat to subdue her anxiety under Kate’s and everyone else’s scrutinizing gaze, "I couldn’t help but notice that you are using an active cooling system to cool down the device from overheating, but it’s clearly not working. The energy you’re using to cool down the electronic parts it’s not cooling down the components but it’s actually just heating them more. And the computer systems tell you nothing it’s wrong because it technically isn’t, it just needs another cooling system. So I suggest to switch to passive cooling system to bypass the overheating problem."

"Passive cooling system?" Kate asked only, her curiosity piqued by Y/N’s idea, just like everyone else’s in the room.

"Yes. With passive cooling system we can use natural conduction, convection and radiation to cool the components down. It will work. I fixed many similar problems with it."

"Yeah- oh, yeah. It could work!" Shuri thought over Y/N’s words as she stared at the device on Kate’s desk before nodding enthusiastically at her. "Nat, what do you say?"

"That we need her help in the lab. Can we borrow her for a while?" Natasha directed the question to Kate, who was still staring at Y/N with a mix of shock and confusion, but also something that resembled pride? Y/N was not so sure.

"Yeah. But when you’re done- Y/N I need to speak to you." Kate stated with a low tone as she stared pointedly at Y/N, who nodded unsure and a bit worried and walked out of her boss’ office with Carol, Natasha, Jane and Shuri, Wanda following them.

-

"Come in." Y/N entered Kate’s office at hearing her boss’ validation to go in and tentatively walked into the room, wringing her hands nervously after she closed the door and turned around to face Kate.

"Hm- the device works, we run a-."

"I know. Shuri just called me." Kate interrupted Y/N with her eyes still glued on her desktop’s screen but when her eyes moved onto her a moment later, Y/N almost fainted from anxiety. "Why didn’t you tell me about you?"

"Because it wasn’t important. Not now at least."

"What do you mean?" Kate sat up from her desk and rounded it, making Y/N almost flinch in fright, but stayed put and watched Kate lean over her desk with her butt as she crossed her arms and stared at her curiously. Despite the serious, heavy air surrounding them, Y/N couldn’t help but think how extremely hot Kate looked in that moment, with her well-fitted, tailored grey suit hugging her curves, her hair flowing down her shoulders in natural waves, her light makeup highlighting her blue eyes and her bossy pose. It made Y/N’s head spin with so many gay feelings but she couldn’t focus on them too much right now since they weren’t exactly appropriated because Kate was her boss and because that said boss was now right in front of her, with an angry expression that told Y/N she was about to be lectured.

"Like Carol said, she made an offer for me. Working as your assistant until I can get a job here as an engineer. So that’s what I am for now, your assistant."

"Oh wow." Kate exclaimed, closing her mouth right after, mulling over Y/N’s words. "Are you really putting aside your degree just to wait for that spot as an electronic engineer here?" Y/N nodded softly, expressing how much this job means to her through her eyes hoping Kate would catch it. Luckily, she did. "Wow, that’s- dedication."

"I needed a job. Yeah it may not be my dream job for now, but it will be. Any type of job, for now, will do. I moved from California after graduating. To start over." It was Kate that nodded this time, understanding where Y/N was coming from, "besides, being your assistant it’s not that terrible or hellish like everyone told me about." Y/N cracked a joke to light up the heavy air that suddenly fell over them with a small shrug and she succeeded, making Kate snort under her breath while shaking her head.

"Who told you that?"

"Everyone here said to me, and I quote, ‘I’m so sorry’ every time I tell them I’m working as your new assistant." Kate snorted at that and nodded, knowing her friends and employees were just messing with her, "oh, and one of your ex assistants, the first one I assume, apparently left a journal in one of the desk’s drawers to vent over you and your, and I quote again, ‘narcissistic and completely dumb requests’. It seems it became pretty important to leave comments for every assistant that came after."

"Wow, really? Can I read it?" Kate asked with a mix of bewilderment and amusement swimming on her features, making Y/N snicker gently under her breath but she nodded nonetheless.

"Yeah, I’ll give it to you as soon as I finish reading it. It’s like a novel. I’m hooked." Y/N admitted with dreamy eyes and a wide smile, "do you know Kyla-."

"Who?"

Y/N rolled her eyes good-naturedly at Kate’s question, hearing her snort under her breath at her own words, before continuing, "anyway, she almost spit in your coffee three times just because you called her Koala?"

"Oh my god! Now I remember!" Kate laughed heartily as she clapped her hands, "yeah, I enjoyed calling her that just to see the vein on her forehead pop." Kate made a gesture with her hand in front of her face to stress the word ‘pop’ more before laughing alongside Y/N. Due to the giddy air now surrounding them Y/N didn’t exactly ponder on her next words, but she spoke up anyway.

"I also have a theory- that I need to verify once I’m done readying the journal- that there is something that each one of your assistants shared."

"And what is that? The hatred they had for me?"

"No, besides that- they actually- hm- all wanted to fuck you apparently." Y/N stated quickly, shrugging nonchalantly, causing Kate to almost fall off her leaning position on her desk with a loud laugh.

"What?! That’s not true! You’re messing with me."

"I’m being actually honest. Okay, wait here!" Y/N sprinted out of Kate’s office, approached her desk, opened the second drawer and retrieved the journal, smiling at Wanda looking at her quizzically in the process, before closing the drawer and returning to Kate’s office. "Take a look yourself." Y/N approached Kate still leaning on the desk and mirrored her as she sat beside her, while flipping through the journal’s pages to find a few spicy words Kate’s ex assistants wrote about her. "Ah, here it is. Okay, Barb said ‘that fucking bitch had the audacity to ask me to order her a salad and count if there are 115 lettuce leaves in it. But fuck, you can do anything she asks you to with that pretty face. Let’s not talk about that ass. Oh that ass, I daydream about touching that ass every time I have the chance to look at it.’ I laughed so hard reading it. Did you really ask her to count your lettuce leaves in your salad?" Y/N cackled loudly after reading the piece on the page she already read and turned around to look at Kate incredulously.

"Yeah, I thought it was fun." Kate laughed alongside Y/N and tried to conceal her blush tinting her cheeks at the words Y/N just read. "Go on, I want to know more."

"Okay, let me just-." Y/N flipped a few pages over, finding another interesting piece to read, "Johanna said ‘Kate oddly didn’t ask anything weird today so I had a lot of time to admire her amazing arms in her blouse. I would give anything to rip it off of her and see what else she has to offer.’"

"Oh my god, they were feisty." Kate commented as Y/N kept flipping over pages in focus, moving to the ones she hadn’t read yet.

"Hm-hm, but not as much as Violet, who wrote ‘can someone be so annoying but so fucking hot at the same time? She makes me go crazy. She always finds something wrong with what I do, but I would gladly let her bend me over her desk and fuck me hard as she lectures me." Y/N read out loud, finding herself blushing after finishing reading not only because she was reading those things that were directed to Kate right to Kate, but also because her brain decided to play with her and played that image over and over. And to make everything worse (or better?) she imagined herself bent over by Kate on her desk as she pound-.

"Oh shit, did she really wrote that?"

Y/N got pulled out of her daydreaming by Kate’s voice as she leaned over to take a better look at what was written on the journal’s page Y/N was reading, "y-yeah and apparently she was the last assistant you had because after this there is nothing more to read."

"Hm, good to know. Are you gonna write something down too? Vent about my rude ways or for calling you Jenny for a week?"

Y/N snorted at Kate’s question but shook her head softly, "nah, believe it or not, I actually enjoyed working for you these past weeks."

"Really?" Kate asked incredulously, turning her head around to look at Y/N better. "You would be the first then."

"Yeah." Y/N nodded with a gentle smile, "I have to admit I called you a bitch the first day we met and a few days later when you called me in the middle of the night, but I stopped then. I took it as a challenge to satisfy your every request."

"And what about the other comments? Are you gonna lust over me too?" Kate asked tentatively with a low, teasing tone, staring into Y/N’s beautiful Y/E/C eyes and waiting for her answer.

"Oh no." Y/N was quick to deny, maybe too quick for Y/N’s likings and snorted for good measure. "And besides, you can’t ask that!"

"Why not?"

"Because it’s-." Y/N trailed off to think something over, looking at Kate as she stared at her smugly, "totally unprofessional of you, of me."

"Oh, yeah right." Kate concedes in a sarcastic tone, a small grin appearing on her lips, "since you’re not gonna jump on my bones anytime soon like my other assistants, why don’t you go order my lunch? Oh and do not forget to call that catering company for my party at my house on Friday night."

"I already did."

"Oh that’s great, then call-."

"I covered the alcoholic beverages too. I ordered great amount of alcohol to make it, and I quote yourself, ‘flowing and flowing’."

"Hm, only two weeks here and you surprised me more times I can remember." Kate nodded in approval, her eyes doing a once over at Y/N as a proud smile rolled on her lips.

"I like being organized. Oh, this reminds me-." Y/N opened her notebook and flipped a few pages over to find the note she needed to comunicate to Kate, "someone named Sam called two times today asking to talk to you, she refused to tell me who she was or who she worked with. She insisted a lot on making you answer her calls."

"Oh shit, I promised to call her after our night on Thursday!" Kate sighed and caressed her temples gently, "okay tell her I’m working late."

"And if she calls again?"

"Tell her I’m working late again. I need to get rid of her."

"I don’t know if you’ve ever dumped someone Miss Bishop, but I think this lie will definitely not get rid of her."

Kate sighed at the sarcastic tone Y/N used and caressed her temples in thoughts, "it usually works, smarty pants. They just stop trying at the fourth attempt."

"O-kay." Y/N agreed skeptically but nodded nonetheless at her boss, "I will tell her that. Anything else?"

"No, just my lunch."

"On its way, boss!" Y/N announced on her way out of the door with her thumb up, a dorky gesture that made Kate snort in amusement with a fond shook of her head, totally ignoring the affection she already started feeling for her new assistant, something that had never happened before, as she took a seat at her desk again.

-

"An electronic engineer, an assistant and now a party planner. Is there something you can’t do, Y/N?" Wanda commented with a mix of bewilderment and amusement as soon as she entered Kate’s apartment with Y/N and Natasha following, causing Y/N to smile shyly at the comment.

"Damn, Y/L/N. This looks amazing." Natasha admitted in a dazed expression, her blue eyes sweeping all over the place in awe.

"Thank you, I spent two entire days planning all of this. Kate only told me about this party Tuesday morning. I had to plan everything in a very short amount of time."

"And you did amazing." Kate appeared out of nowhere, making the three girls jump up in fright, but Kate smiled at them as she approached the trio, "and for the record, I purposefully told you about this party that late."

"What?!" Y/N asked in disbelief, anger shining behind her eyes as she send a withering glare at Kate.

"I wanted to see how you worked under pressure." Kate shrugged nonchalantly as she took a sip of her drink covering her smug smirk with the rim of the glass in her hand.

"Oh great." Y/N lifted her arms up dejectedly and sighed, making Kate tap on her shoulder gently.

"You did good, you should be proud of yourself."

"Oh so I should thank you now?" Y/N asked sarcastically, smiling amusedly at Kate, and the blue eyed girl mirrored her with a challenging look.

"Wan let’s go, or we will witness them fucking in front of us." Natasha murmured in Wanda’s left ear and grabbed her hand to pull her away from the duo still bickering to walk towards the counter where the open bar was.

"What? Do you think-?" Wanda asked, trailing off and not finishing her question as she pointed with her thumb behind her back to Y/N and Kate still discussing and gasped softly.

"Yeah. They may not realize it yet, but I can see they lust over each other." Natasha explained to Wanda with a wide smirk, sitting down on a bar stool as Wanda walked around the counter. "So, how is an innocent, sweet girl like you, serving at this party full of snotty people?" Natasha changed subject quickly and leaned on the counter with her elbows and lifted her right eyebrow up seductively, eyeing Wanda like she was a predator ready to jump on its prey, speaking after a few moments of silence spent watching Wanda grab a few bottles to make cocktails for them.

Wanda blushed furiously when she made the mistake of meeting Natasha’s gaze and almost dropped the bottle of vodka she was using to mix it with a few more ingredients with the intensity of her stare. "I needed a job, rich people leave good tips when they are drunk."

"Hm, and did ever someone insisted too much on particular topics while too drunk?"

Wanda kept playing along Natasha’s charade, taking some time to squeeze half a lemon into the mixer before answering Natasha, "yes, but I can look after myself."

"Oh I do not doubt that. But you can’t be here, all alone. Someone needs to protect you." Natasha stated nonchalantly, shrugging when Wanda lifted her gaze up from the mixer to stare at Natasha unamused, "pretty girls needs to have their knight in shining armor."

"Oh yeah? Would that be you? Are you offering?" Wanda purposefully ignored the ‘pretty girls’ part, not wanting to get her hopes up when Natasha was just playing around to kill time at the party, so she moved on with their banter with an amused grin.

"Yes, of course."

Wanda’s small smile widened just a bit as she thought over her next question, "and where is your shining armor?"

"Oh I took it to the dry cleaner’s." Natasha made up an excuse nonchalantly, cracking Wanda’s almost serious face as she laughed heartily at that.

"Yeah, being clean is a really important thing. I love when the pretty girls I serve are clean." Wanda for once decided to be bold and delivered her line to Natasha as she mixed their drinks.

Natasha swallowed imperceptibly at the words Wanda used, feeling her brain literally melt and short-circuit for a moment, but pretended to act cool as she grabbed the drink Wanda offered to her with a seductive look, "thank you."

"So tell me, my brave knight, are you gonna make sure no one poisoned alcohol?" Wanda kept joking as she fidgeted with the small straw in her glass, mustering the most seductive look she had ever used and bit on her bottom lip teasingly. If Natasha wanted to play dirty with her, she was capable of doing just the same.

At that, Natasha straightened her back slightly as she saw a big opportunity. She could make the final move and explicitly hit on Wanda, hoping she would finally notice she had a crush on her, "oh yeah right, hold on." The younger redhead watched with rapt attention as Natasha wrapped her lips around the small straw and took a small sip from her glass, humming at the delicious and balanced taste Wanda created for their drinks, before licking her lips clean. Wanda watched everything unfold in front of her like it was all in slow motion, her breath getting shallower as her mouth dried up and her eyes darkened. "Nope, no poison in here."

"Okay then-."

"Ah-ah, I need to check yours too." Natasha stopped Wanda mid-sentence and without hesitation, sat slightly up from her stool to lean over the counter, giving a great view of her half exposed boobs to Wanda through the really deep neckline of her dress, before wrapping her lips around Wanda’s straw too with her drink still in her hand, and taking a small sip, never breaking their eye-contact as their faces were really close. Wanda felt like she could explode at any moment as lust pumped fast into her veins, Natasha’s green eyes feeling like they were swallowing her in and she was willing to make them do that. Wanda’s breath hitched imperceptibly when Natasha lifted up a bit to be at eye-level with her, purposefully leaning closer to the young redhead to tease her some more, making their breaths mingling as their noses almost touched but she didn’t close the gap. She wanted Wanda to want that too. "All clear."

"I-I-." Wanda licked her dry lips and swallowed the lump that formed in her throat as she tried to collect her thoughts and to form at least a coherent phrase, but it became a really difficult task with the redhead so close to her. "I- I need to go to the bathroom."

And with that Wanda excused herself and flew into the bathroom, running on wobbly legs and with her heart aching, leaving Natasha hanging there. She knew she was acting stupid but she needed some time to collect her thoughts over what just happened in the past few minutes. "You’re an idiot."

Wanda turned around with a small shriek when she felt a voice ring right beside her, making her open her eyes at the person on her left, "what are you doing here?"

"I saw what happened there. She was flirting with you and you ran away from her?!"

"She wasn’t flirting with me, she was just joking around." Wanda shook her head in denial and closed her eyes to calm her nerves and heartbeat down by laying her hands on the sink, the cold ceramic soothing her slightly, while Y/N scoffed under her breath.

"Wan, I love you but you are fucking stupid." Y/N stated gently, eyeing Wanda with a mix of affection and exasperation, "she was flirting with you. Trust me, I’ve done plenty of that. I can recognize when someone is flirting and Wan, she was."

"I-I-." Wanda sighed out loud before covering her face with her hands, her mind still wrapping around this new piece of information she subconsciously already knew but she wasn’t ready to admit to herself.

"Why did you run away?" Y/N asked softly, approaching the redhead and placing her hand on her shoulder.

"I- I can’t lose her, Y/N/N. She means the world to me and her rejecting me and pushing me away after I tell her how I feel it’s something I don’t want to experience."

"But she won’t reject you Wan! She was just flirting with you! She literally eye-fucked you as she drank from your glass. Listen- I know it’s scary, but if you don’t make a move you won’t know if she feels the same."

"I don’t want to risk our friendship, Y/N/N." Wanda reasoned, sighing out loud in distress as she detached her eyes from Y/N to look at herself in the mirror in front of her, finding dread in her features.

"Natasha won’t ever walk away from you if she doesn’t feel the same. You know that." Y/N tried to reassure Wanda with the softest tone she could muster, looking at her through the mirror and smiling encouragingly at her.

Wanda smiled back gently and nodded solemnly, "I appreciate what you’re doing Y/N/N, thank you for cheering me up."

Y/N let out a soft breath while nodding in understanding. Wanda wasn’t going to relent that easily and she won’t push her to do something she wasn’t ready to do yet, so she just moved on another topic to ease Wanda up, "don’t mention it, I will always be here for you, Wan."

The redhead turned towards the Y/E/C girl and hugged her hard, showing all the gratitude she felt for her and what she did tonight, "do not tell Clint, but you’re becoming my favorite."

Y/N snorted at Wanda’s words before pulling away from the hug and nodding at the girl, "noted."

-

"Miss Bishop, can I talk to you for a second?" About an hour later her interaction with Wanda in the bathroom, Y/N watched as Natasha gravitated back to Wanda and pretended like the girl didn’t just walked away from her flirting as she initiated a conversation with her and the Y/H/C girl decided to jump into action.

"Yeah, what’s up? And please call me Kate, Miss Bishop makes me feel old." Kate asked after excusing herself from her previous conversation with a few of her employees, nodding at Y/N in anticipation before following her to a more quiet part of her apartment to talk.

"Okay- hm, Kate- hm, do you want to join me on a mission?" Y/N whispered conspiratorially after moving closer to Kate, making the girl furrow her eyebrows and look at her confused. Despite it felt weird at first, Y/N had to admit it was amazing calling her boss by her first name and not by her last name.

"What are you talking about?"

"Do you see those two idiots in love right there?" Y/N pointed to Wanda laughing care-freely at something Natasha said before staring at Kate as she looked at them and realization hit her.

"Wanda and Natasha? Are they-?"

"Yeah, look at them." Y/N gave Kate about a minute to let her observe the two girls interact, her blue eyes scrutinizing every movement to detect everything that could make her believe Y/N‘s words.

"Oh shit, you’re right!" Kate spoke up in disbelief after she watched Natasha flirt shamelessly with Wanda, "Natasha is flirting with Wanda."

"Yeah, she jumped right at it again, I see. You missed the great show that was Natasha trying to seduce Wanda by taking a sip of Wanda’s drink from her straw."

"Oh wow, Romanoff is bold. And why are they still here? I thought they would be already on their way home, y’know." Y/N snorted at Kate’s wink and wiggling of her eyebrows before shaking her head in exasperation.

"Wanda walked away in panic. I tried to talk her out of her nerves, but she is too afraid to make a move herself or believe Natasha is actually flirting with her because she doesn’t want to lose Natasha as a friend."

"How cute." Kate commented as she stared at Wanda talking heatedly with her hands with Natasha, who stared at her like a lovesick puppy and smiled.

"That’s where we come into the picture."

"What?"

"Wanda needs reassurance Natasha likes her back and Natasha, well- she just needs a good opportunity to kiss Wanda. She almost did at the counter, but Wanda walked away before she could do that."

"Okay, I think I’m following."

"I need your help to make sure they are alone in the bathroom. I already thought about everything." Y/N smirked conspiratorially and watched as Kate did the same, nodding in understanding as she agreed to work with Y/N on her plan.

"I like this this wicked side of yours. Go on."

"Okay, first thing first, I will go grab a drink and then go to Wanda and Natasha to join on their conversation, meanwhile you will try to talk to anyone that is in our proximity and wait about 5 minutes before ‘accidentally’-." Y/N made quotation marks with her fingers to stress over the word ‘accidentally’ before continuing, "bumping into me and making me spill my drink on Wanda’s blouse. I will offer to help Wanda clean herself up but then you will stop me by making up some kind of excuse, this way I know Natasha will offer to help Wanda clean herself up and they will be alone in your bathroom." Y/N finished explaining her plan with her chest puffed up in pride, feeling satisfied for making up a great plan to help her friends out.

"That’s great! Did I already tell you I love this wicked side of you?"

-

"No Y/N, tell me you didn’t."

"Oh I did, right in front of my teacher. I got detention for punching that asshole but he asked for it." Wanda and Natasha laughed their asses off as Y/N told them about a funny story from high school, letting a small laugh escape her lips too as she thought about that moment. "That way he ne-." Y/N got abruptly stopped mid-sentence when a body collided on hers, knowing it was Kate that ‘accidentally’ bumped into her and following her plan she purposefully tilted her hand too much from just a simple bump to let her drink spill all over Wanda’s blouse, making her shriek loudly at the coldness invading her body. "Oh, shit! I’m so sorry! Someone bumped into me and I-."

"It’s okay Y/N/N, it wasn’t intentional." Oh, but it was. Y/N mischievously thought in her head before fumbled around to take a few napkins to dab the liquid from Wanda’s blouse. "Ah, shit. Let’s go to the bathroom, I’ll help you clean up."

"Oh Y/N! There you are! I’ve been trying to find you for an hour." Kate immediately butted in the conversation, making Y/N smirk inwardly at her playing along with her plan, "I need your help with something."

"Can it wait? I need to help Wanda-."

"Don’t worry Y/N/N, go. I’ll help Wanda." Natasha interjected gently, a small smile adorning her features as she took the napkins from Y/N’s hands and guided Wanda into the bathroom, "let’s go or you’ll smell like a tropical cocktail for the rest of the night."

Y/N and Kate watched as Wanda and Natasha walked into the bathroom, that Kate made sure no one was in before starting their plan, and then closed the door behind them. "Good job." Y/N admitted to Kate as she lifted her hand up to her without moving her eyes away from the closed bathroom door.

"Thanks, you did good too." Kate high-fived Y/N as her eyes also stayed glued to her bathroom door, before turning towards her assistant mischievously, "we’re a good team."

"Yeah. Now let’s go, you owe me a new drink."

"No, you owe me one." Kate objected and made Y/N snort at her as she shook her head in fond exasperation, but complied anyway as the two made their way towards the counter to make themselves their drinks.

-

"Good morning, Y/N/N!" Y/N lifted her head up from the papers she was sorting out on her desk when Wanda’s voice interrupted her, watching as the girl walked to her desk and sat on her chair with a brighter-than-the-sun smile, something that made Y/N grin too.

"Good morning to you too. In a good mood today?" Y/N asked causally while sitting up from her chair and walking towards Wanda’s desk to sit on it like she usually did on the early working hours when others employees and their bosses haven’t showed up yet, in her smile no trace of her knowing why the redhead was so happy.

"I’m always in a good mood, Y/N/N." Wanda tried to elude Y/N’s question as she avoided eye contact with her. Y/N had a feeling something happened between Wanda and Natasha Friday night and she knew Wanda would spill everything out by just meeting her eyes, but since the girl was avoiding them at all costs, she used other ways to let her talk.

"How was your weekend?"

"Oh you know, same old stuff. Caught up on some sleep, watched a few tv shows, slept some more. Yours?" Wanda answered vaguely, still avoiding Y/N’s gaze as she busied herself with tidying up her desk that was already pretty neat since they hadn’t started working yet.

"Hm, I had to do a few things Kate asked me to do Friday night. Oh speaking of which, I’m sorry again for spilling my drink on you."

At the mention of Friday night, Y/N noticed Wanda’s eyes widened almost imperceptibly as she stopped just a moment in her tracks before resuming her actions to not rise suspicion, "don’t worry, Y/N/N."

"Did you left right after? I tried to find you but you were gone."

"Oh- y-yeah. I- t-the blouse was drenched, I went home because I couldn’t fix the stain." Y/N noticed how Wanda stammered in her explanation and she knew she was ready to relent and tell her what really happened that night, so she just pushed Wanda’s buttons a bit more to make her spill the tea.

"Hm, yeah, that’s understandable." Wanda sighed out of relief when Y/N didn’t say anything else, but almost fainted and fell off her chair at Y/N’s next question, spoken with an innocent lilt in her tone but with a cheeky grin on her lips, "and did you get the hickey on your neck before or after going home?"

Wanda then whipped her head towards Y/N and finally met her eyes with her own widened comically, "I-I don’t know what you’re talking about."

"I think you do. You tried to cover it up with makeup, but it’s too dark for your skin. It’s showing out, like- a lot."

Wanda tried to hold Y/N’s knowing gaze but after a few, painful seconds she relented with a loud sigh, "what do you know?"

"That Natasha definitely helped you out with your blouse." Y/N stated out loud with a proud, knowing smirk, and wiggled her eyebrows mischievously when a deep red blush appeared on Wanda’s cheeks.

"She- I- yeah."

"Oh my god! I’m so happy for you, Wan. Tell me everything!"

Wanda smiled softly at her friend as she fidgeted with her hands and nodded gently but before she could open her mouth, Kate came strolling down the hallway and stopped in front of Y/N sat on Wanda’s desk, "good morning Wanda, good morning Y/N."

"Good morning, Kate." Wanda smiled widely at the black haired girl, hoping with all her heart her blush at least faded a bit.

"Good morning, Kate." Y/N repeated Wanda’s words and greeted her boss, watching her with a knowing smirk on and a certain glint in her eyes, making Kate understand right away what she was silently telling her.

"So, did it work?" Kate asked hopeful, her eyes filling up with mirth when Y/N nodded with a bright grin, shamelessly asking about Wanda with the girl right beside them, who stared at the two girls confused.

"What did it work?" Wanda asked confusedly, biting nervously on her bottom as she worried at the two girls sharing knowing smirks and looks.

Y/N ignored Wanda’s question and answered Kate’s one, her grin broadening, "yup."

Kate stared at Wanda a few seconds, intimidating Wanda as her ocean blue eyes scrutinized her up and down, before she spoke up with a proud smile, now directed at Y/N, "you owe me 50 bucks." And with that Kate walked away from the two girls and into her office, leaving Wanda with her jaw falling on the ground as realization fell on her.

"Yeah, I know." Y/N sighed out as she yelled at her boss before she could close her office’s door and then turning back towards her friend, smiling innocently at a furious looking Wanda.

"Hold on, did you bet on me and Natasha with Kate?!" Wanda asked with an incredulous expression on her features, letting go of the pencil she was holding in her shock, the wooden object clinking loudly on the desk as it fell down.

"Kinda." Y/N tried to downplay what really happened but one pointed look from Wanda made her sigh out dejectedly, "okay, yeah, we did."

"That’s just- wait, hold on." Wanda was ready to give Y/N an earful about betting on herself and Natasha when something Kate said piqued her curiosity again, "Kate asked you if something worked out. What was she talking about?" At that the Y/H/C girl immediately avoided Wanda’s eyes, focusing them on a random item on Wanda’s desk and picking it up.

"Oh wow is this new? I am sure it is, because it totally wasn’t there-."

"Y/N." Wanda stopped Y/N in her attempt of deflecting her question with an authoritative, hard tone that left no space from any more avoiding from Y/N, making the Y/E/C girl let out a resigned breath as she placed Wanda’s stapler back down on her desk.

"We kinda teamed up to make you and Natasha happen on Friday night." Y/N quickly spit out the words and closed her eyes in anticipation, waiting for Wanda’s wrath, but it never came so Y/N tentatively opened one eye to see Wanda’s reaction.

"You two- what?!" Wanda was only capable of emitting those three words, too much focused on replaying Friday night’s events to connect all the dots, but coming up empty. "What did you two do?"

"We planned on spilling that drink on you. I was sure that you both needed a little push, especially Natasha. But it worked right? You spent the night with her, right?"

"Well yeah, but- Y/N!" Wanda leaned forward and slapped Y/N on her bicep, making the girl groan in pain.

"Ohw!"

"That’s what you deserve for what you did." Wanda repeated the gesture, making Y/N groan in pain again before she stared at her in disbelief, her arms opening in bewilderment at the redhead slapping her again, but the girl nodded resolutely, "and that was meant for Kate, but since I can’t hit our boss, I hit you."

"How convenient." Y/N rolled her eyes at Wanda’s logic while caressing her arm to ease the light sting there, Wanda nodding again resolutely.

"And this-." Wanda trailed off to sit up from her chair and Y/N instantly lifted her arms up to shield herself from Wanda’s attack, but relaxed right away when Wanda hugged her tightly, despite the embrace being a bit uncomfortable with Y/N’s hands still between their bodies. "Is for what you two did." Wanda finished her sentence in a grateful tone, leaning her head back and staring into Y/N’s eyes with appreciation glinting in them, before laying a small peck on her left cheek.

"I only wanted you two to be finally happy. You both deserve it." Y/N admitted truthfully, smiling softly at Wanda as she pulled fully away from the embrace and sat back down on her chair, the redhead reciprocating the gesture right away, "now, tell me everything."

-

"Y/N, do you have any reports about that new technology Tony tested?"

"Yeah, hold on- I have it right here." Y/N rummaged through the stack of papers she had in her arms with only one hand as she struggled a bit on not making them fall on the ground as the other held the stack of papers still, and sighed out loud when she came up empty. "Hm, I think I have it on my desk."

"Okay, you’ll give it to me later. You can go for now." Kate dismissed Y/N while never breaking her eyes on whatever she was typing away on her phone, her eyebrows furrowed in a small, focused frown.

"Don’t forget your meeting will start in 20 minutes."

"What meeting?" Kate stopped her fingers’ movements on her phone and looked up at Y/N in a mix of confusion and panic.

"With those investors from Germany."

"Fuck! Was it today?" Kate asked in alarm, frantically looking through the mess that was on her desk to find the sticky note she was sure she put somewhere to remember about that important meeting. After about 10 seconds she found it under hundreds of papers and sighed out in frustration, "shit, I completely forgot about it!"

"Do you need something to help you prepare everything for it?"

"No, I luckily had everything ready for weeks. I am just- shit- worried. A deal with them is really important for us. It’s a lot of pressure and I would’ve liked a little bit more than 20 minutes to get ready properly." Kate moved her eyes from Y/N’s figure standing in the middle of her office to fixate her eyes on the sticky note to calm her nerves down, sighing loudly.

"Is there something else I can do for you?" After a few seconds of silence of Y/N watching Kate closing herself off in her brain still staring at her desk pensively, she spoke up softly, effectively pulling her out of her thoughts.

"Hm, no, thank you. I just need some time alone to get myself ready, like I always do for important meetings. Don’t wait for me. Go welcome our guests when they will arrive, I’ll meet you there." Kate stated in a calm tone while massaging her temples, Y/N staring at her in worry.

"Okay, if you need anything, just call me." Y/N reassured Kate on her way out of the door, looking at her through her shoulder before she could walk out of Kate’s office and watched her nod with a small, grateful smile.

"Will do. Thank you."

With that, Y/N exited the room and sighed out loud again as she walked towards her desk to put away the stack of papers she had in her hands, before searching the reports Kate asked her, finding them in a folder in the first drawer of her desk with ‘TONY’ written down on it. She took the folder and placed it beside her computer, ready to give it to Kate as soon as she finished with her meeting before focusing on tidying up a few more papers littered on her desk. Ten minutes or so later she looked to her right, towards Wanda’s desk, and found it empty, knowing the girl was already in the conference room with Jane, Natasha and Shuri to review a few things before the meeting. She let out a small breath before checking the time. She still got about 6 minutes before she had to be in the conference room to welcome their guests, so she sat up, grabbed her notebook and pen to take a few notes during the meeting and got ready to walk towards the conference room, but stopped in her tracks when she noticed Kate’s office door was slightly ajar and furrowed her eyebrows in thought. Kate hated being interrupted as she got ready for important meetings, so she always asked Y/N to close the door to prevent anyone to disturb her. Her now leaving her desk to go to the meeting room meant she couldn’t stop anyone from disturbing Kate and the door slightly ajar also meant they could think Kate wasn’t actually busy and could just knock, disturbing her in the process. With a small sigh, the girl shook her head and walked towards Kate’s office door, not wanting to deal with an angry Kate in the near future. She grabbed the doorknob and got ready to pull the door close, when a small sound blocked her. It couldn’t be what she thought she just heard, could it? Y/N stayed frozen in front of Kate’s office door for a few moments, her left hand gripping the doorknob hard as she stared with widened eyes at Kate’s black couch through the small crack the door created, her heartbeat so loud in her ears it almost deafened her. When about 10 seconds passed and no strange sound echoed from Kate’s office, Y/N sighed out in relief, thankful that what she thought she heard was probably just the door squeaking loudly. The Y/H/C girl almost chocked on her own saliva when a moment later she heard that sound again, louder this time. It was unmistakable. Kate was moaning. Y/N felt a mix of emotions hit her all at once and it astonished her she wasn’t exactly feeling what she should actually feel when you walk in on your boss moaning, like disgust, horror or uneasiness. No, she actually felt a little bit of shock, but also eagerness and most importantly arousal and instead of focusing on why she was actually feeling that way or to stop eavesdropping on Kate and feel dirty for spying on Kate’s personal space, she tried to take a better look into Kate’s office through the small crack she had available, but sighed out in frustration when she could only see the side of Kate’s desk.

Then, instead of walking away, Y/N tried to open the door just a slightly bit more, thankful it didn’t squeak loudly in the process, and almost fainted when she could now partially see Kate, sat on her chair, facing the windows behind her, and with the back of her chair facing the door. From her angle she could see the blue eyed girl’s right arm was moving rhythmically up and down, leaving no doubts about what Kate was actually doing. A shiver run down Y/N’s spine when Kate whined again under her breath as she noticed she sped up her movements, telling Y/N she was ready to come and that immediately increased her body temperature as a familiar pressure formed in her lower stomach. Y/N knew it was wrong what she was doing and she was glad no one was around to catch her spying on her boss masturbating, but she couldn’t walk away, she felt stuck on her spot as her eyes couldn’t detach from Kate’s arm moving. Her body reacted to every breath, whine or moan Kate emitted, filling her up each passing second with need, need for her and for her release, a release that didn’t take long to come (no pun intended). After about a couple of more seconds with Kate’s whines coming out incessantly, Kate came with a long, breathy moan but with the heartbeat loud in her ears and from her distance Y/N wasn’t able to hear what Kate murmured under her breath. "Fuck." Y/N whispered under her breath and shivered wildly when what she just witnessed caught up on her. She immediately shook herself out of her lustful haze, closed the door as quietly as she could to not be caught by Kate, before walking, no, sprinting, towards the conference room.

-

Y/N typed quickly on her keyboard to update the report of their meeting, feeling her forehead sweating while she shook her right knee up and down frantically under her desk. Even if on the outside she looked laser-focused on her task, she was actually far from that on the inside. She was freaking out as images she witnessed about two hours ago still plagued her mind, increasing the pressure she felt between her legs and the shame she felt for what she had done and what she was feeling. During the whole meeting Y/N sat in her chair staring into space, replaying Kate’s moans over and over in her head and beating herself up for feeling arousal for everything she witnessed. Am I really crushing on my boss?! That’s- just- too much. I mean yeah, she is hot, not to mention smart and witty and extremely beautiful. But she is my boss!!! Fuck I’m so screwed right now. What do I do? I will pretend it never happened, duh. "Y/N, you’re gonna break that thing in half." Wanda snickered when she returned from the printer and noticed the girl’s harsh typing.

"Sorry- I-."

"It went fucking amazing!" Kate exclaimed as she came out of nowhere and placed her hand on Y/N’s left shoulder, making the girl jump up in her chair as she let out a shriek that almost sounded like a moan, but she was thankful neither Kate nor Wanda noticed as they were too busy laughing at Y/N’s reaction.

"Sorry. You just- scared me." To be completely honest Y/N heard Kate approaching her, she just didn’t expect her to touch her and she jumped up not in fright but because her body almost exploded at her touch.

"Remind me to come up behind you and scare you more often. That was hilarious." Kate admitted as she chuckled heartily and patted her on the shoulder, while Wanda calmed down from her giggles and sat at her desk to finish a few tasks Jane assigned to her.

"Yeah, yeah." Y/N dismissed Kate with a wave of her hand, still trying to calm herself down and get a grip on herself. She was Kate’s assistant. She worked with her every day, all day long. She needed to stop feeling this way towards her boss.

"Oh, are these Tony’s reports?" Y/N nodded at the girl as she avoided her eyes at all costs, fearing she would literally melt under her gaze. She just needed to avoid looking and be near her for a while. But it was proven a really difficult task right away when Kate leaned over her to grab the folder on her desk, causing her left boob to grasp her right arm. When she felt she was about to moan out embarrassingly, Kate straightened up and opened the folder, before sitting on Y/N’s desk as she reviewed the papers in there. Y/N definitely didn’t focus her eyes between Kate’s legs as they were slightly spread- hm no, no- opened in front of her as planted her left foot on the floor to balance herself on the desk, focusing instead on her hand close to Kate’s knee that was itching to touch her, silently communicating with it to not move. If someone knew her inner turmoil, they would’ve found the scene hilarious. "Hm, there’s something not working out in these." Kate admitted in a hum as she skidded her eyes quickly on the words written all over again, "did Tony sent us his device?"

"Yes, Natasha showed it to Shuri before the meeting." Wanda answered when Y/N dumbly opened and closed her mouth without responding, making the redhead stare at her in confusion but also curiosity as she tried to meet her gaze, while Kate stayed focused on the papers in her hands.

"Okay great. This definitely needs an electronic engineer’s review. Y/N, can you go get the device and come into my office? I need your help with this."

"Y-yeah. No problem." Y/N stuttered before taking a long breath, calming her heartbeat down, then immediately sprinting up her chair when Kate sat up from her seating position on Y/N’s desk, something that didn’t go unnoticed by the redhead that made a mental note to ask Y/N what was happening before she could go get the device Kate needed to review.

"Great, I’ll wait you in my office." And with that, Kate walked away without breaking her focus from the papers in her hands, entered her office and closed the door behind her.

"I- I need to go. Are we still up for tonight?"

"Yeah, we will pick you up at 9." Wanda nodded before quickly sitting up from her chair and stopping Y/N as she almost flew to the elevator but Wanda stopped her with a hand on her arm, "Y/N/N, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I’m fine. Why are you asking?" Y/N let out in one quick breath and slapped her forehead inwardly for sounding totally okay.

"What happened?" Wanda asked with worried eyes when she saw conflict appear on Y/N’s face as she debated on telling Wanda what happened a few hours prior or not, in the end deciding to tell her the truth, hoping to at least relieve her nerves and guilt.

"B-before the meeting, I-." Y/N looked around herself to make sure no one was listening to them and almost rolled her eyes when she remembered they were the only occupants of that floor beside Jane and Kate, before continuing, spilling out words as fast as humanly possible, "IsawKatemasturbate."

"I’m sorry, what? Can you repeat? Slower this time. You sounded like my brother on his fourth coffee of the day." Wanda snorted at her own joke as she thought over her brother when he had too much caffeine in his system, but chocked on her saliva when Y/N repeated herself, spelling her words out slowly this time.

"I saw Kate masturbate."

"WHAT?!" Wanda screeched in shock as her eyes widened comically, making Y/N shush her as she frantically looked around them again.

"Shhh!"

"Wha- how?!?!"

"I will explain everything later, I need to go or I won’t finish in time and we will be late for tonight."

"Okay, but I need to know everything!" Y/N nodded and quickly run to the elevator to get the device she will need to review with Kate, feeling butterflies in her stomach at the thought, but tried to calm herself down to be as professional as she could.

-

"Ugh, I don’t understand why it’s not working. Tony wrote that he already started working on a solution on this flaw." Y/N groaned after about three hours of reviewing Tony’s reports on the device with Kate, already feeling her uneasiness leave her as she focused on what she was good at.

"I think we need a break from all of this. We can go to my place. I think we are the only people left in here." Kate stated as she looked out of her office and saw only a few lights still on, the others already been shut off by the guards.

"I- I actually have p-plans. It’s Friday night and-."

"Y/N, you don’t need to reason with me." Kate stopped Y/N before she could start rambling with a small smile on her lips and a soft expression on her features, "we can continue on Monday, it’s fine. Or I could work on it myself during the weekend."

"I- I- hm- do you want to tag along tonight?" Y/N screamed inside at her stupid mouth talking before she could give it permission and tried to frantically explain her totally out of nowhere and especially unprofessional question, "I-I mean this way we can continue talking about the device, o-or not. I mean you- I was just-."

"Y/N, breathe." Kate interrupted Y/N with a warm smile on her lips and placed her hands on her shoulders to help her calm down, "yes."

"I-you- what?" Kate’s hands placement was meant to calm Y/N down, but it was only worsening as she was now freaking out for completely different reasons.

"I said yes. I totally need a night out to get rid of this week’s stress. I didn’t have plans tonight other than staying at home watching TV. It will be fun." Kate shrugged and finally moved her hands off of Y/N, letting Y/N breathe normally again.

"I- great. It will be fun." Y/N repeated with more of a grimace instead of a grin and took another deep breath to prevent her heart to beat out of her ribcage.

"Well then, let’s go. Do you need a ride?"

"No I- will take the bus." Y/N waved Kate off but sighed out a moment later when she checked the time and noticed she missed it by an hour.

"Yeah, I’m sure they are waiting for you to finish working." Kate cracked a joke and snorted at her words, "c’mon. I’ll take you home." Kate sent Y/N a soft smile as she shook her head gently and continued, "let me just grab my things and we can go."

"O-kay. Thank you." Y/N stuttered nervously, watching Kate grab her phone, her car keys and her coat and as she waited, her mind decided to let her remember what she witnessed that same day, her eyes immediately flying to the chair Kate was sat in a few moments prior as her body temperature rose once again.

"Are you ready to go?" Kate pulled Y/N out of her head, grateful she pulled her mind out of the gutter before it could spiral out of control and nodded with a gentle smile.

"Hm, yeah, I just need to take my coat and we can go."

-

"Here we go." Kate parked outside Y/N’s building about 40 minutes later, their car ride surprisingly comfortable as they talked about the device some more alongside with a few things to get to know each other more. "We live close each other." Kate pointed out as she took a look around and recognized that part of the city, not too far from the block her apartment was in.

"Yeah, I know." Y/N smiled at Kate, remembering the night she walked in on Kate fucking a girl and before her mind could spiral out of control again with images of Kate masturbating, she just nodded with a snort, not exactly sure if she could exit the car just yet or wait for Kate’s signal or something like that.

"Hm, listen, since we live close, I can pick you up in an hour so we can meet the others there." Kate suggested after silence fell down in the car, not completely awkward but not exactly comfortable.

Y/N was pretty sure she melted onto Kate’s car’s expensive leather seat at the girl acting shy as she asked her question, a sight Y/N wasn’t used to since she had always watched Kate stand tall and carrying so much confidence at work, "yeah, that would be great. I’ll see you in an hour." Y/N agreed without actually thinking properly, but she couldn’t say no to that pretty face literally begging her to come pick her up, so she just took a mental note to call Wanda as soon as she got home to tell her to meet them at the club.

"Great." The two said goodbye with soft smiles and Kate waited for Y/N to enter her building before speeding away towards her apartment, causing Y/N to literally ask the butterflies in her stomach to stop going crazy at the gesture as she took the elevator to her apartment floor. As soon as Y/N closed her apartment door, she grabbed her phone and dialed Wanda’s number and put her on speaker, meanwhile getting rid of her shoes and discarding her pants and jacket on the couch. The redhead answered after 3 rings right as Y/N took off her blouse too, leaving her with just her bra and underwear on.

"Hello?"

"Hey Wan, I called to tell you, you don’t need to pick me up anymore. I’ll meet you there in an hour and a half."

"Did you buy a car in the last four hours?" Wanda asked amusedly at the girl’s words, snorting at her own joke.

"No, I-." Y/N trailed off to think about the best way to deliver to Wanda the news about Kate joining them at the club without having the girl tease her about it to no end but came up empty-handed, so she just decided to deliver the news right away, just like ripping off a bandaid, and hoped Wanda was on her best behavior, "Kate is picking me up."

"I’m sorry, I think I lost signal for a second. Did I heard Kate is picking you up?"

Y/N sighed out at the girl’s mocking tone as she sat on her bed, pinching the bridge of her nose and getting herself ready for the endless teasing, "yeah, I- I invited her tonight."

"Are you serious?" When Y/N stayed quiet at the question, Wanda gasped in shock, "tell me everything!"

"I will try to summarize everything really quick, I still need to shower and Kate will be here in less than an hour." Y/N purposefully ignored Wanda’s knowing ‘hum’ and continued, "we were working on a few flaws Tony’s device has and she started to get frustrated because we didn’t make any improvement, so she wanted to take a break and asked me to continue at her place, but when I told her I already had plans- Wan you should have seen her face, she was so sad. So I asked her to join us. Then she drove me home, realized we live close and asked me to come pick me up. Again she was so adorably hopeful for me to say yes- so I couldn’t say no to her and here we are."

Wanda stayed quiet for a couple of seconds, a wide smirk making its way on her face as she listened to Y/N, sure Y/N could detect it in her tone, "so when were you gonna tell me you had a crush on our boss?"

"WhAT?!" Y/N screeched as she choked up on her saliva, a blush immediately appearing on her cheeks while her heartbeat increased.

"Oh, don’t play dumb with me, Y/N/N. You like her. I honestly had been having my suspects for about two weeks, but this just confirmed everything. I find it extremely cute."

"No Wan, I don’t have a crush on Kate. Yeah she is hot, extremely smart and-and she carries so much confidence during meetings with misogynous men, making her look so powerful- and she can be so- so effortlessly beautiful- and-." Y/N trailed off to sigh out loud when she noticed she just literally gushed about Kate with Wanda and slapped her forehead when she heard the redhead squeal in excitement.

"Oh my god! You have a crush on Kate! Ah! Okay, now it’s not the time to fangirl. You need to get ready. Put on the sexiest thing you have and if you don’t make a move tonight I will literally slap you in front of her."

"Wan did you gone fucking crazy? I can’t make a move on her."

"Why not?"

"Because I’m her assistant and she is my boss. I will never make a move on her. She will definitely fire me and I need this job. Not to mention I spied on her masturbating this morning!" Y/N reasoned as she massaged her temples to relieve the stress she started feeling in that moment once again. Before going into Kate’s office with the device, Y/N told Wanda everything that happened before the meeting and after enduring Wanda teasing her, she walked into Kate’s office to work on the device’s flaws. She would love for something to happen between her and Kate, but they weren’t in a romantic movie. Nothing will happen between them. She won’t give herself hope to have her heart broken.

"What if she doesn’t fire you? What if she likes you back?" Wanda tried to reason with Y/N too, wanting her friend to find happiness just like she did with Natasha and she had to thank Y/N and Kate for that. So she will do everything in her power to make them happen and make them happy like they did with her and Natasha.

"It won’t happen, Wan."

"What if it will?" Wanda pushed, getting a little bit angry at Y/N dismissing everything like she wasn’t even willing to try.

"It won’t, Wan. I don’t want to get my hopes up. I- I need to go. It’s getting late. I will see you soon, okay?"

Wanda let out a frustrated breath but let the girl be for now, "okay, but please, put something nice. It won’t hurt trying."

"Just admit you want to see me in a sexy dress." Y/N tried to joke to lift up the heavy air that surrounded their call and smiled in relief when the redhead snorted under her breath.

"Keep dreaming, Y/L/N."

With that, the two girls hung up and Y/N sprinted into the shower to get ready as quickly as humanly possible since Kate would be there in 45 minutes.

-

PART 2.

[glitter-stained]

On villains with tragic backstories

Sometimes I'm like "is it really psychophobic, maybe i'm reaching, the character did say that they're not actually crazy they just like killing people" and then the narrative will hit me with "some terrible, dark horrors have happened in your past and this is why you are killing people but it's not too late to get admitted in a psych ward" and I wanna throw the comic through the window and myself with it.

The "mentally ill villain" trope isn't just saying that the villain is crazy or giving them hallucinations. If you're giving a villain a tragic backstory, and that backstory has caused them severe suffering the memory of which is still painful to the day, and the story expects you to believe that the villain's horrible behaviour is explained by the fact that this suffering broke something in them... It's worth examining if you're not just vilifying or demonizing mental illness on accident.

The issue isn't that your villain can't have a tragic backstory, or that the tragic backstory can't explain their actions: the issue is when the suffering itself is treated as a sufficient cause for the behaviour. Say a character was raised and abused by a cult that taught them killing puppies is good and then they kill puppies: not psychophobic. Say a character who used to love puppies was kidnapped and tortured by some guy just for the fun of hurting someone, no brainwashing or anything just pain, and then they get out and kill puppies because of the torture: psychophobic. There's a missing link in the reasoning here, a question of "what about this event taught/brought the person to the conclusion that it was a good idea to kill puppies or gave them a desire to?" The psychophobia is insidious, hiding in the implication that the trauma (because this is what it's really all about) is what made them kill puppies. Sometimes, people with trauma kill puppies. But killing puppies (or exploding buildings with children in it, or shooting someone in the spine, or severing heads and putting them in a duffle bag, or, or, or) is not and has never been a symptom of ASD*, PTSD, CPTSD, BPD, DID, DDD or any other trauma-induced disorder. It's a good idea to verbalise the logic, emotions, needs and desire that motivate your villain and where they stem from, to avoid falling into the trap that thinking their trauma, because of the magnitude of the empathy it's meant to generate for the character, is enough of an explanation for their behaviour. A villain being sympathetic because of their backstory doesn't mean that their actions are necessarily coherent.

On top of that, it's important to take in account other factors such as the original background of the character, their vulnerabilities, their age (super important when writing childhood/teenage trauma/young villains!), but also their ethnicity, gender etc etc. This is important for realism and accuracy, because trauma is neither a magical button that creates heroes nor sociopaths, but also because psychophobia interacts so easily with other forms of discrimination slipping through the cracks. Now that you've identified that your woc character becoming a manipulative, sociopathic "crazy ex" because of her trauma was not just a consequence of her trauma but the interaction between the trauma and personal factors, what are those implicit factors that contribute to make her manipulative, obsessed with her ex, etc.? And now that you've extracted them explicitly, like a zip file, can you examine them to see how many of these personal characteristics have to do with her being a woman of colour?

I hope it's clear that I'm not telling you what to write- I think imposing the idea that villains can't be poc, or queer, or working class, or disabled, or mentally ill, etc. is harmful, because it reduces potential representation, it's based on the assumption that I know what you're gonna write and it's gonna be fundamentally ableist, and it puts this pressure on fictional characters to be perfect icons of representation rather than actual characters with depth and personality (kinda like thinking you can't write a female character who cries because it implies women are weak). This is just to encourage you to be mindful about what you're doing when writing that tragic backstory, because it's not necessarily what we think about when we talk about mental illness, and it's important to analyse what you're writing with a measure of introspection: why am I writing this? What does this imply about the character? What's my reasoning for this character's reasoning?

I have zero issue with a mentally ill character kicking a puppy as long as the narrative isn't trying to tell me that it's a symptom of mental illness to kick puppies. But of course, perhaps the story could also be a critique of those stories about mentally ill people kicking puppies, and the satyre is flying way over my head; or perhaps there will be a secret plot-twist that happens after I stopped reading that explained why the character was kicking puppies, perhaps the book was an attempt at guiding and manipulating the reader into realising the flaws in that reasoning on their own, or perhaps it was a metaphor for something else entirely, etc, etc. I don't know. The point is, write whatever you want; but write it self-aware.

*in this context, ASD meaning Acute Stress Disorder

Two examples of comics I think do it pretty well:

> Arkham Knight Genesis: for all its flaws (i didn't really like this one), I think it does a pretty decent job of getting us to understand how Jason got where he is, that it wasn't just "tortured until evil", all the reasons for his resentment, all the brainwashing and manipulation are pretty explicit. Kind of an "easy mode" because the plot revolves around brainwashing, but solid on that front.

> Red Hood Lost Days: this one I'm more mitigated because there's this whole "pit madness/the pit made him a psychopath" thing Winick introduced to limit the damage of previous runs (and rightfully so imo, Pit Madness is a much better explanation for some of Jason's most batshit ooc runs than just trauma), but there are some pretty solid elements, especially when you know earlier comics. I'm thinking specifically about when Jason says something around the lines of "you murder people; i put down a lizard", as a direct echo to Judy's "I put down a mad dog", that's one of my favourite comic lines ever, I cheered seeing that parallel like yes, I can see the reasoning, I understand where you learned the lesson and what the thought process is and I support it.

[amymbona]

I love you so much. Seriously, you are so precious.

Can we address the fact that art can be so mean? Like, that sauna scene is so extra and wild. The meanest boy ever with literally no reason.  So I was thinking about a reader, being actually a good girl, kind and shy and nice and pretty and everybody just loves her and art is going bananas over it because he can't stand her, and he's so mean and manipulative and kinda crazy kinda want her to "show her true colors 'cause he's not buying the good girl act" kinda wants her to be his, but after he MAKES HER his. Molding that pretty thing to behave how he wants.  sorry if you can't match my freak it's fine it's cool I won't cry :( 

User I love you so so so much *kisses your forehead* 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 I'll definitely match your 𝔣𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔨. That's what I'm here for! Perhaps I could make this a little series. 🤭🤭

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

Art is so crazy for you. He adores the thin ribbons at the end of the braids you usually wear, tied into two neat bows. He has the collection of your plaid miniskirts etched into his mind, knowing exactly what kind of low cut tops you combine with them. Sometimes, you're dressed in so little clothing - one of your short skirts and a stupidly thin blouse that shows more than it hided - that he questions whether you're still comfortable, and considers offering you a hoodie of his.

You're a kind soul too, not hesitating to lend people your pens if their runs out of ink and stops writing, generously offering whatever the person next to you might need. Somehow, you seem to carry whatever could be missing. You're so soft spoken, encouraging people and comforting them if their exam doesn't go well, always laying your palm on a person's shoulder to rub it and bring them a sense of comfort. And people adore you for that, their faces shine when they spot you in the corridor and you smile at them. You are the Stanford's sweetheart.

And sometimes, Art can't help himself but stare at you in the class, chewing onto the end of his pen, wondering whether that smile is permanently etched onto your face. Because even now, when you're simply sitting and listening to the lecture, there is such an aura of grace and easiness glowing around you, as if you were made to convince the whole class that they have nothing to worry about and everything is going to be okay. You're simply too soft for your age, in his eyes, too benign for the people you hang out with a too gracious in general. All, as if you were hoping to get something in return, even though you never ask for it.

Art is tempted to find a crack in your shell, to discover who you really are, because he's definitely not buying the good girl act. So he gets to work. Being Art Donaldson, he approaches the whole situation cautiously, surprising himself with his own patience. However, he's aware that if he really wants to get as close to you as possible, it's gonna take some time. Even despite your friendliness, you surely can't be naive enough to let him in with a simple smile.

He is a mastermind, of sorts, accidentally forgetting his pens or erasers and asking to borrow one from you. You respond with a usual smile and a soft "Of course," and let your fingers graze his palm when you hand him one. He's so tempted to keep it by the end of the lecture, as if to keep a part of you with himself. But he can't do that yet.

Slowly, Art figures out most of your schedule, showing up in the cafeteria or the campus' park where you might currently be. Some hi's and hello's are exchanged between the two of you, accompanied by a cute smile on your face. The more you smile at Art, actually, the more he is tempted to wipe that expression off of your face. He wants to see you cry, to see you scream and whine and beg and yell, to finally see the walls you've built up around yourself fall and uncover your true self.

Soon, without actually planning it, Art becomes obsessed with you. But not with the gentleness or your actions, nor the generosity of your innocent soul. Definitely not with your kind smile and big eyes. On the contrary, he wants to see them fill with tears, he wants them to be red and glossy while they look at him. He wants you to either encourage him to keep hurting you or beg him to stop, squirm and whine and protest, that you can't take all the pain he's about to give you. As long as you are below him, helpless and vulnerable, he will be content with his doings.

[danieyells]

If you could, could you post Alan’s lines? I like him but he’s so stone cold at low affinity it’s hard to sus out his personality

SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG ANON AND @otomelover23 so many things got in the way. . .mostly myself lol. . . .

Honestly that stone coldness is a big part of his personality. He's not great at expressing himself and he's very to the point. But as his affinity goes up, he's more. . .concerned for you. And he wants you around more, trusting himself to have you around more.

I posted all of them again this time! A lot of his have similar energy because of his stiffness, so I feel like being able to see them all helps to idk see the gradual change i think.

Hello: (the first time the game is opened after that character is set as home screen NPC. Only happens once per day, unless the character is switched out and back.)

"Get your things. We're going."

You've Got Mail: (whenever there's something in the inbox, usually Arena rewards)

"Some letters here for you."

Default: (requires no affinity, has no time constraints)

"...What do you want?"

"Don't get involved with me."

"I'm going out. You guys get back to work."

"Get back. It's dangerous."

"Slack off once, and you'll find out how hard it is to get back in the game."

Affinity 1: (between 5am and 11am)

"Oh, you're awake."

Affinity 2: (between 11am and 4pm)

"I don't eat in the cafeteria. Portions aren't big enough. That's the only reason."

don't feel awkward in there or like people find you too intimidating to be near or anything? aren't worried about seeing Dante? if you say so.

Affinity 3: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"My wallet? Yeah, it's pretty beat up. Can't bring myself to chuck it though. Got some good memories with it."

reminds me of my brother, who kept our dad's old wallet. It's basically in tatters, held together by rubber bands, but sometimes what you have is what you have. . . .

Affinity 4: (between 8pm and 5am)

"I'm going to the Pit. You should go back to your house, {PC}."

he doesn't want you to see him punch a man into oblivion.

Affinity 5: (between 8pm and 5am)

"That sounds like a bike engine, but it's not one I know. ...Be right back."

INTRUDER ALERT INTRUDER ALERT INTRUDER ALERT much like Tohma he's probably pretty security conscious. Maybe he's more security conscious because Tohma isn't around. Or maybe he's not used to how Bonnie sounds yet.

Affinity 6: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Was that class really revision...? I didn't think I missed that many..."

my boy is not book smart, he is fist smart and maybe street smart. please study with him. he needs flash cards. pretty sure the only reason he's passed any grade is because he goes on plenty of missions.

Affinity 7: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Lunch? Huh. I forgot to eat. Guess I'll just grill some meat and have it with rice and miso soup. That's my go-to."

y'know what i'm glad someone here eats proper meals. even if you forget at least you're eating eventually!!!

Affinity 8: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"One of the Vagastrom guys asked me to add him on WickChat... Do you know how to do that?"

Affinity 9: (between 8pm and 5am)

"I don't want to get anyone mixed up in my life."

He looks sad when he says this. . .he's really worried about how being close to him will affect others huh.

Affinity 10: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Better sleep. Got an early day tomorrow."

Affinity 11: (between 5am and 11am)

"497... 498... 499... 500... Phew..."

don't mind pc they're just gonna watch you do 500 sit-ups/push-ups/pull-ups/whatever. . .no no they don't mind the sweat at all please continue--

Affinity 12: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Bandana seems to disappear right around this time every day lately... What's he doing?"

Pretty sure Sho would be busy with the food truck around thhis time of day. . .does Alan not know Sho runs a business lmao. . .I mean I guess Alan doesn't go into the more populous parts of Darkwick much.

Affinity 13: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"The first-years've each got their own strengths. Both can do stuff I can't."

Affinity 14: (between 5am and 11am)

"Bandana's got potential. He's quick, and he's strong. Rest comes down to motivation."

I think Sho's motivated, just motivated to do his own thing. Although I'm sure he'll develop more interest in the world and actions of the Institute and anomalies eventually. . .maybe. Or maybe Hyde's interest will keep him away lol.

Affinity 15: (between 5am and 11am)

"I'm heading out. Mission. Make sure you go to class. ...I'll let you know when I'm back."

alright mom i'll go to class gosh. does this feel like a headpat or forehead kiss line to anyone else? he just doesn't want you to worry about him. He knows he's doing something dangerous. But he promises he'll come home. He won't be reckless because you're waiting. Maybe I'm reading too much into it lol.

Affinity 16: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Where am I...? Guess I should tell them I'm gonna be late. WickChat was this picture, wasn't it...?"

poor boy is so lost lmao please help him get where he needs to go. . .how does this man go on hikes in the mountains and shit. . . .

Affinity 17: (between 10pm and midnight)

"You're still awake? Don't stay up too late."

Affinity 18: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Oh, didn't see you there. I'm heading out for a run, but... Could you wait here for me?"

He wants to spend time with you, so please be waiting when he comes back. . . .

Affinity 19: (between 10pm and midnight)

"I pat people on the head a lot? Didn't notice. I'm doing it again? ...Sorry."

IT'S HARD NOT TO WHEN PEOPLE ARE SO MUCH SHORTER THAN YOU also that wasn't a complaint please give them lots of pats :'3

Affinity 20: (between 5am and 11am)

"I'm taking some of the Vagastrom guys to the mountains today. ...You want to come too?"

CAMPING TRIP WITH DA BOIS!!!!!

Affinity 21: (between 11am and 4pm)

"This one's all fixed up. I'm gonna take a shower. Wait there."

there like in the shower or--(he uses そこ which refers to someplace near the listener, so he just means 'where you're sitting' but still.)

Affinity 22: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"{PC}. Got time after this? A friend of mine gave me some fresh boar meat."

He wants to cook for you! He cooks in a very wilderness style, but still! He wants to share his bounty! He's showing you he can be a good provider. No, he didn't hunt it himself but good community connections are also important!

Affinity 23: (between 8pm and 5am)

"You're you, not someone else. You're doing a good job. Hold your head high."

he doesn't want you to fall into a cycle of self-loathing or of trying to be anyone but yourself. Maybe what others do feels more impressive to you, but you aren't them and you can't compare yourself to them. Even if you're 'weak' in one way or another, you have your own worth in other ways. So be proud of yourself, instead of trying to get the pride of somebody else. I think he really cares about your mental wellbeing and he doesn't want you to lose yourself. Because he's lost himself--and he doesn't want that for you. Don't wallow in self-pity, don't agonize over the past. Be proud of how far you've come and walk your own path.

Affinity 24: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Can't sleep? ...I'll take you for a drive. Quick run should help you reset."

Imagine falling asleep in his car and he has to figure out. . .does he wake you up, does he carry you somewhere. . .he could bring you back to your place but he doesn't know how to get there so. . .you wake up in his room, in his bed. . .does he have the understanding that "you probably shouldn't sleep in the same bed as somebody without them okaying it first" and he sets up his tent and sleeps in it or uses his sleeping bag or sleeps somewhere else in the dorm or maybe in his car. . .frankly even if he doesn't he'd be afraid of hurting you in his sleep. There's no way he'd sleep in the same bed as you. Maybe lie awake in there with you or something. But he'd be too scared of what harm he could cause to fall asleep.

Affinity 25(max): (no time constraints)

"I'm lucky I've got you, {PC}. As long as you're with me, I feel like I won't lose sight of who I am."

HE SMILES WHEN HE SAYS THIS. 99% of his lines have his usual expression, but this one he really smiles and that's how you know how much he appreciates you. I feel like he kind of gave up on himself--he's a big, dangerous brute, he's not someone worth getting close to, it's dangerous to even want to. . .but you make him feel like maybe he has a chance again. You make him look in the mirror and see someone he hasn't seen in a long time, and he realizes that person is himself and he would have never seen the version of him who isn't dirtied with blood again without you.

Spring: (March-May) (between 5am and 11am)

"Don't get lax just 'cause it's warm out. Stay focused."

(between 11am and 4pm)

"... Good camping weather."

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Oh, it's you. Must've dozed off. Better get back to work."

BABY IF YOU NEED A NAP JUST TAKE A NAP. . . .

(between 8pm and 5am)

"The cherry blossom illuminations? ...That kind of thing's not for me."

Summer: (June-August) (between 5am and 11am)

"It's getting hot out. Make sure you stay hydrated."

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Looks like we've got another mission order. There's more anomalies out there in summer."

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"The Pit's getting noisy. Those guys better not be pulling stupid shit again..."

LET LEO PLAY MUSIC IN THE PIT HE MISSES GOING TO THE CLUB.

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you again... I was just going for a jog. Didn't think you'd be round this corner."

Alan turning a corner and slamming straight into you and being shocked aw--

Autumn: (September-November) (between 5am and 11am)

"Good season for a workout. Want to join me?"

(between 11am and 4pm)

"...Maybe I'll go check out the fall leaves."

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"The days are getting shorter. You should get home before it gets dark."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"...Long nights make me think about stuff I'd rather forget."

he killed dante in the autumn or winter. noted.

Winter: (December-February) (between 5am and 11am)

"Cold out in the mornings lately. Guess I'll warm up with a coffee."

(between 11am and 4pm)

"The first-years ditched... What do they mean, "too cold"?"

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"As long as you got some muscle, you can handle the cold."

i handle the cold well because i'm fat, myself. my brother, who's plenty muscular, gets cold much easier than i do U:

(between 8pm and 5am)

"It's freezing... Guess I'll break out the kerosene heater. Gotta make sure you ventilate if you use it indoors, but it works real fast. Can't do without it in winter."

His birthday: (April 25th)

"Whose birthday? ...Mine? Oh... Forgot all about it. ...Thanks."

Your birthday:

"Today's your birthday, yeah? ... Get your stuff. I'll take you for a drive."

New Years: (January 1st)

"You helped us out a lot last year. Hope you'll stick around."

Valentine's Day: (February 14th)

"This chocolate's for me? Do everything proper, don't you? Thanks. I appreciate it."

HE SMILED AGAIN. I wonder if he's ever been given valentine's chocolate before. Even if he thinks it's just out of obligation, I think he must be really happy. . . .

White Day: (March 14th)

"White Day's when you repay people for what they got you on Valentine's Day, right? Sorry if these aren't your thing... Didn't really know what you like..."

. . .my first thought was that i read that sometimes lingerie is given as a white day return present. . .and i just imagined that Alan asked what he was supposed to do if he liked the person he got a valentine's day gift from on valentine's and Leo saw an opportunity for chaos and said to get them some sexy white underwear and Alan just. . .believed him. And it's a very embarrassing moment for everyone involved. pc absolutely wears them when alan asks them out for things tho. waiting for the day alan finds out they're wearing it.

April Fool's Day: (April 1st)

"I'm actually a dog. Woof. ...Sorry, that was a lie. Forget I said anything."

he's a little confused but he's got the spirit.

Halloween: (October 31st)

"Saw an anomaly I'd never seen before just now. Ran away when I tried to stop it. That's when I realized it was a human."

i would not be surprised if his upbringing was sheltered and he just did not know about halloween to begin with haha

Christmas: (December 25th)

"...You should spend Christmas with family."

Well everyone's stuck at Darkwick so that's not likely to happen. Also don't tell that to Sho. . .but we can be family now! And spend Christmas together!

Idle: (about 20 seconds without interacting with the game) (below 13 affinity)

"...You okay?"

(13 affinity and above)

"...You seem busy. Let me know if you need anything."

Absent: (logging in for the first time in 2 or more days?)

"...You came back. You look all right. We're gonna need you for the next mission."

SO YOU SEE HE'S A LOT KINDER AND SWEETER WHEN HIS AFFINITY GETS UP THERE. . .BUT HE'S STILL COLD. BECAUSE HE'S AFRAID. . .but you make him feel more comfortable. You help him feel less like a destructive monster and more like a person. Where he pushed you away before, he keeps you closer now. Still a little at arm's distance but much closer than before. I HOPE THIS HELPED YOU SEE MORE OF HIS PERSONALITY, ANON o/

[mer-acle]

I think I already need more on Modern Athena

very fair XD

Some funfacts (why do i have the feeling I'm just gonna dump Athena's trauma again)

Metis died in a car-wreck when Athena was only a couple of years old. She had been raising Athena on her own until then because Zeus very ironically accused her of cheating and Athena not being his kid. (Which isn't true, you can tell from how alike Ares and Athena look.) Athena was in the car as well and was cut out of the wreck by firefighters (with an axe because mythology. sorry Ath). She has no memory of it but she doesn't have her own car to this day, she takes the bus or Ares drives.

Ares is never viewed that way, but he is in almost every way the more functional sibling. He takes to living on his own incredibly well right away, he loves cooking, has his routines, just has life down. Athena can cook, but she only does so when it's for both of them, not just for herself. Ares is very often like do you even know people are supposed to have three meals a day? (Her standard reply is "Maybe I'd know if I'd studied medicine instead")

Speaking of, Athena studies Law. She is not too happy with it but it's what her father expected and now she's like four semesters in so we ain't quitting now. She is good at it ofc, she's an academic prodigy, but it is really not good for her

Athena's boarding school was located by a lake (not a safety hazard at all) She knew how to swim, but a couple of the kids pushed her in once and held her under to scare her, and she stayed the hell away from bodies of water ever since.

Ares' and Athena's last name is Dean bc it's close in sound to (pan-)theon lol Aphrodite's last name is Vincent bc it's close in sound to Venus, and yes, both of these will only be used as "Miss Dean" bc saying "Athena Dean" makes my skin crawl lmao (also yes I know these are American names bc this AU is very much for fun so I'm setting it in "Hollywood America" to cut down on research)

Athena has an owl plushie her Mom made for her by hand. She inherited her Mom's sewing machine and alters and fixes all the clothes in her family

Both of the siblings are into sports, though Athena has a lot less time for it. She's the agile one, has pretty impressive rockclimbing skills and used to be in fencing class in school bc that boarding school was bougie af. Ares is more of a gym guy and does martial arts, he's in a new dojo now bc of the move, but he used to train the younger kids and would like to do that again soon.

Athena works part-time as a transcriptionist to pay her half of rent. She is very efficient and fast with it which is good to have any amount of free-time. When times are particularly difficult she takes up odd jobs here and there. I am still struggling what job I will have Ares train in bc technically I should put him in the military but then he'd be in a military camp and I want my war sibs to live in their lil apartment together :(

Zeus is def the kind of person who bemoans the amount of child support he has to pay when he is a) filthy rich bc inheritance and b) could just keep it in his pants.

Athena is the one who loves olives, Ares is the one who hates them XD

hope this quenches some of the thrist hehe

also i still don't have a name for this AU it goes by #placeholder tag for now :,)

[jmdbjk]

Privates First Class Park Jimin and Jeon Jungkook: Our first real look.

Jimin and Jungkook. I know, I'm being insufferable but I can't NOT dwell on them a little more. Festa activities will make us move past this so fast as things always do in BTS Army life.

But you don't realize how much is bottled up or how starving you've been until you finally get to feast on that one thing you've been missing. That didn't sound very appealing and I'm not really that pathetic (its mostly the busy-ness inside my head) but you know what I mean, right? I've missed them soooo much!

Military life seems to have been going well for them. Since January we've had very little news about them. Just military blips here and there... training with U.S. Marines... kitchen police... cooking rice... cleaning from top to bottom... learning to aim big-ass missiles and hitting targets and living on rations for a week. Even receiving recognition for outstanding service.

Almost every day I imagine them doing their daily duties and all... but there was little to go by. And that's fine. Some of those things I don't want to think about. But that's what they are doing every day.

Seeing them in real time in the flesh is very reassuring.

One thing that was noticeable to me is that Jimin and Jungkook did not look like their usual sleepy-head selves they are at that time of the morning. But they both looked strong and composed. Going to bed every night like a normal person and getting a good night's sleep is a healthy habit they will probably break the moment they are discharged.

Jimin... just wow. His hair grew out. No more buzz cut. But also, the duality continues:

Someone posted a comparison pic of Jimin's painted nails and a close up of his hands which now have what look like healed spots on his hands and knuckles and scuffed nails... I don't have the pic but it shows how he's fully immersed in his military duties. Hands do get beat up somewhat when you work with them a lot.

Jungkook looked amazing.

Jungkook's little burn scars... that damn edge of the oven or hot pan will get you when you least expect it! Got him twice too! Ouchie! I hope it didn't bother him for too long. To the infirmary!

He'll get Polyc to cover that up with a new tattoo. Or maybe design one around it to highlight Jungkook's battle scars he received while an enlisted man.

One thing they are most likely gaining now is self-confidence in the ability to do something NOT in their wheelhouse. Leading people or working with people who are not the ones they used to see day in and day out for ten years. Learning new skills, being part of a different team, doing different things can be enriching and will enhance other parts of their lives.

Not being with the people who are paid to be there to make sure they look good and every whim is taken care of....the isolation had to be culture shock for them. Knowing they are together, that center of familiarity when they are faced with something new, is a great source of comfort.

Jimin and Jungkook showed up to Jin's discharge in full uniform. I will assume they arrived together straight from their base, where they must remain in their uniforms at all times.

Hugs all around. Jimin's are the best, most heartfelt hugs.

Jimin and Tae's hug... I felt that shit. The squeeze, the "no, don't let go yet," the fullness of it. They mean a lot to each other. I know they've always been close, they've told us so, they've reminded us they speak to each other often even when they weren't working as a group.

And I'm sorry but the awkward side hug between Tae and JK was not "tHeY jUsT sPeNt TiMe ToGeThEr." Be for real. Are you fucking blind? That was Tae saying "bro, didn't realize you walked up behind me, are you not gonna hug me too?" And JK going "oh, well, ok if you insist, bro (since you won't let go of my wrist)."

No, Jimin and Jungkook did not hug each other... they just got out of the car that they rode in from their base where they live together. Where they showered and got dressed and ate breakfast together before getting in the car. It is perplexing how that is even a question I see people put out there.

There was curiosity as to whether Jimin and Jungkook were on day leave or what and initially seeing them in uniform the first assumption is that they might be only on temporary day leave and would have to return to base that evening. But then we got the group pic at the Hybe building and Jimin and Jungkook had changed clothes. From what I understand, when a soldier is on day leave, they must remain in uniform AT ALL TIMES during that day. No quick change into some other clothes for a while. REMAIN IN UNIFORM AT ALL TIMES NO MATTER WHAT. So them being in civvies tells us they are on vacation/days off. We don't know how much time they took off but perhaps they won't go back to the base until Monday.

During their days off they will probably separate and go do their own thing. Maybe they will take time to go to Busan and visit fam. Most likely, Jungkook will go check on the progress of the Itaewon house construction (the exterior of JK's new house is black and it will have a tiny balcony that faces the street and appears to have some livable rooftop space). Jungkook may visit Bam. They may visit their other friends. Since the entire group was there, they most likely shared how they were doing and most likely talked about next year.

The delulu mode has activated...