#it was so obvious they had incredible choreo going on in the front but the camera angle was behind them for some stupid fucking reason

[lonewolflink]

2hwang

that's all

[fairyhee]

"dare."

"alright. I dare you to spin this bottle and play 7 minutes in heaven with whoever gets chosen."

...

Hi, this is the 1st thing I've written, ever. I just had this scenario in my mind for a while and I finally decided to give writing it a go, so I ended up with this. I left the name blank so you can imagine whoever you want (but I thought of Oneus Keonhee while writing it). Let me know if you enjoy it!

✨Optional bias

💘Smut / a bit of fluff I guess?

✨Word count: around 2k

...

Playing truth or dare with people you barely knew wasn't exactly your choice of activity in a normal setting, but the cute guy that had been smiling at you so sweetly every time your eyes landed on each other, and the few vodka cranberry cocktails you had downed earlier had made you change your mind. Maybe it was the alcohol, but it seemed like the whole room lit up whenever he laughed, and boy he did that a lot.

...

It was your popular friend's birthday, and they were throwing the usual party at their apartment, that was now full of people you mostly had never seen before. Given the situation, you tried to stick to the people you knew, but that wasn't possible at all times, so you'd have to interact with strangers sooner or later.

You were in the kitchen grabbing something to drink while your friend was at the bathroom. Concentrated on mixing your vodka, you didn't react when you noticed someone else entering the room, but you were soon surprised by a loud and cheerful voice.

"oh! Are you my outfit twin for tonight?"

As you raised your head in confusion, you realized what he was talking about. You two were wearing the exact same style. Leather pants, check. White button up, check. Combat boots, check. You stood there for a few seconds smiling like idiots and staring at each other in disbelief, just like that one Spiderman meme. When you finally snapped out of it, you burst into laughter.

"nice sense of fashion you got there" you said.

"I could say the same about you. What are you drinking?"

"vodka cranberry. Want me to pour you some?"

"sure. I'm _____, by the way"

And that seemed to be the start of a very promising evening. His laugh made your heart flutter from the first encounter. In fact, his entire presence was so breathtaking that it made you flustered, and you were grateful for his cheerfulness, as it helped you overcome this newfound shyness. The fact that your fashion sense seemed to match perfectly was just the cherry on top.

Before your friend could return from the bathroom, you were already vibing to the music with your new acquaintance, as you seemed to both like the upbeat songs that could be heard from the living room. You thought it was incredible how he knew so many choreos, and even when he didn't, he still danced. The both of you didn't sit down for the whole evening, even though every now and then you both returned to your own friends to not neglect them completely. Whenever a good song came on, you would eye each other from opposite corners of the room and do your dance moves from afar and laugh.

What you loved most about it was how comfortable he made you feel, how he wasn't just trying to grind on you like other guys would, but you were just enjoying the music and each other's presence. For some songs you could be silly together and laugh, for some he was just flexing his dance skills while you cheered on him, and for others, you got a bit closer, and it felt like there might be a little more going on between you. You saw the way he was looking at your curves, and you could definitely feel his gaze burning into you when you danced, though he never touched you or tried to make a move. Was he not interested? Was it all in your head, or was he shy? You hoped it was the latter.

As it started getting late and people started leaving or being too tired to dance, the host suggested all the remaining people to sit down in a circle and play truth or dare. If you didn't want to accept the dare or answer the question that was given, you would have to take a shot. You hadn't played this game since middle school, when all the dares were to kiss someone, so you wondered how this would turn out.

Your new friend had sat down right across from you, so he could easily see all of your reactions. The questions or dares were set by the person to the right, which meant that your friend would choose for you. You would rather avoid any embarrassing questions from her, so you chose dare.

"do you remember that sexy dance routine that you learned but never showed anyone because you were embarrassed? I dare you to do it here."

You hadn't seen this coming, but you took it as a chance to showcase what you've been practicing secretly. Gathering all the confidence you had in you, you danced with all your might and tried to make it as sensual as possible. You couldn't help glancing at that cute boy from time to time, and you were pleasantly surprised to find him watching closely, practically devouring you with his eyes, which only added more fuel to your fire. You earned a round of applause for your little performance, and a few spicy remarks from your friends who were shocked by this new side of you, but your mind was focusing on someone else.

After a few more people who chose truth to avoid doing something embarrassing, it was finally his turn.

"dare."

Finally, a fun choice, you thought to yourself.

"alright. I dare you to spin this bottle and play 7 minutes in heaven with whoever gets chosen."

As soon as he accepted, your heart skipped a beat. You would lie if you said it wouldn't sting a little to see him have his 7 minutes with someone else. You tried to read his facial expressions and he seemed excited about it, but you could only hope he wasnt excited about doing this with someone else in the room. Even though it wasn't your right to feel this way, there was nothing between the two of you, but you couldn't help yourself. As he spun the empty bottle, it felt like your head was spinning along with it. You tried talking nonsense to your friend in hopes you'll get distracted and get rid of the butterflies in your stomach, but your eyes were still glued on that bottle...

And it stopped pointing towards you.

You weren't sure how you two got up and into the room next to the one everyone else was in, and closed the door. Your mind was clouded but you weren't so sure it was the alcohol anymore. You leaned your back against the door and checked for his reaction to what was happening.

"so.... Are you satisfied with the result, or did you want it to be someone else?"

He smiled and slowly closed the distance between you.

"what do you think? I don't think I could've been more obvious about it. I couldn't keep my eyes off you all night."

You let out a laugh.

"and here I was, thinking you were just being nice."

You guessed your comment had made him think you weren't interested, because suddenly turned serious.

"are you okay with this? Because if not, we can just talk-"

"we only have 7 minutes. I think you can do better things with that mouth than just talk."

His eyebrow rose at your sudden change of attitude, and his lips turned into a smirk. His eyes didn't leave yours for even a single second.

"looks like we're gonna have to do something about that attitude of yours"

He barely finished his sentence and crashed his lips onto yours. He kissed you hungrily as you felt a sudden heat taking over your entire body. His body pressed you against the door and his hands started caressing over your curves, while he kissed your neck. It's like he already knew what your soft spot was... His wet lips sent chills all over your spine, and it made you claw at his clothed back. He moaned into the kiss, so you sneaked your hands under his shirt to gently scratch his bare back this time. This made him buck his hips into you and let out a louder moan, and you could feel how hard he was because of you. He was quite obvious about his slight pain kink, and you loved it.

You could do this all night, but by now there were probably only around five minutes left.

He must have realized this as well. You weren't sure how far you planned to go with this but surely you didn't want to stop there, so you didn't protest as he slipped his hand into the front of your leather pants and into your now soaked panties.

You whined as his fingers easily swiped across your wet folds and touched all the right spots, before focusing on the part where you wanted him the most. As he lightly teased your entrance with his long index finger, he suddenly spoke again.

"should I go on?"

You could barely breathe at this point, but appreciated his concern.

"please, don't stop."

That was all he needed. He pushed one finger inside of you, while his thumb was drawing circles across your bundle of nerves. The sensation was already so good you were seeing stars, but when he added a second finger you had to hold onto him for dear life, because your legs were shaking so much from all the pleasure. Arguably, his facial expression was making the whole thing ten times better. He looked more turned on than you'd imagined, considering you weren't doing anything to him. He looked so hot, you were just melting under his gaze and touch.

As you got closer to reaching your high, you snaked your hand into his hair and grabbed it, pulling him into a hungry kiss. His response to that was a deep groan, followed by him biting down onto your lips. He understood you were close, so he moved his lips to your side and whispered into your ear.

"you're so beautiful. Come for me, I wanna hear how good I make you feel."

You didn't need to be told twice. Rolling your eyes, you let out a series of whines as your orgasm took over you. You felt like you had just ascended to heaven, not caring about whether anyone could hear you anymore. As soon as you came down from your high, you were met with his burning gaze on you, and his sweet lips already forming a smile.

"wow, you know exactly what to say at the right moment, don't you" you said in a breathy tone.

He smiled.

"I meant it when I said you were beautiful. I'd do it again even if I got nothing in return."

His words got you all worked up once again. While he was finishing his sentence, you were already touching him lower and lower, wanting to repay the favor, but he gently grabbed your hands and pulled them away. He was still rock hard, and his leather pants weren't helping to hide how turned on he was, so why was he turning you down?

"As much as I'd like to continue, our 7 minutes have long passed. It must have been around half an hour now."

His words made you suddenly remember where you were. It felt like you had been under a spell which had now been undone.

"Half an hour???? God, I even forgot we were at a party." you said while flattening your clothes back into place. You wondered what he was gonna do to hide his hard-on, but you felt like you already did too much, so you just shut up.

"you good?" he asked with his hand on the knob.

"yeah, let's go."

As soon as he opened the door, you were met with complete silence. It looked like the few remaining people had been completely worn out by the alcohol while you were gone, because most of them, including your friends, were passed out on the carpet or on the couch, while some of the others had left. Only now you realized how much time you had spent in there, but also that everyone might have purposely forgot to knock on the door when your 7 minutes were over. And you were thankful for that.

"so that's why it was so quiet" he said, scratching the back of his head.

"so, what now?"

He pretended to think for a few seconds, then looked you and smiled shyly.

"I got an idea... how about we drop by my place for a coffee? We can chat, or, maybe watch a movie if you'd like. I hope I'm not getting ahead of myself here, considering you just met me tonight."

You giggled.

"what are you being so shy for? Looks like you forgot what we were doing just a few minutes ago."

He avoided your gaze and his ears got so red, it made you wonder how can he switch from making you moan his name to blushing about it in only a few moments.

"I'd love to. Let's go."

[straykidsreactions]

Reaction To: Foreign S/O Debuts in a Kpop Group

S T R A Y   K I D S  R E A C T I O N   T O : Foreign S/O debuting in a K-pop group + how you met

A/N: Thanks so much for requesting and being patient @lovemyhyunjinnie​ , and for supporting the blog!

Genre: Fluff

Chan: 

You’d started seeing Chan a little over 8 months ago after meeting him completely by accident at a noodle shop down the road from your trainee dorm. You’d only been in Seoul for a little over a month at that point, after being accepted into the Big Hit Entertainment trainee program, and that noodle shop was the only place you could find that had pictures on the menu. At that point you could probably count on two hands the number of phrases you could say in Korean, so you’d resorted to nervously pointing at pictures on the menu to order your food- fortunately the older couple who ran the small eatery grew accustomed to seeing you late at night after long hours of practice and welcomed you despite the obvious language barrier. The night that you met Chan had been a particularly hard night, after 10 hours of dance and vocal practice with an additional 2 hour Korean lesson- you were feeling drained and at your wits end. It was probably around 2am at the time, and the shop was entirely empty save one tired, hardworking young man in the corner who was downing a large bowl of black bean noodles while working furiously on his computer. You didn’t pay each other any mind at first, but as you sat in front of your soup bowl with tears bubbling up in your eyes- feeling entirely alone and lost in the world- you’d felt a soft tap on your shoulder, only to look up and find the soft and sympathetic gaze of the strange young man as he extended a napkin in your direction. You’d gratefully accepted it and dried your eyes, trying to mutter through a somewhat cohesive sentence of gratitude in Korean before Chan had interjected- letting you know that he spoke English. Though it was already late when you met, it felt as though you talked for hours after that. He’d consoled you and encouraged you to keep going, despite how tough it was going to be. He’d given you his phone number at the end, after walking you back to your dorm, and told you that if you ever had time he’d like to see you again. That’s how it started and now 8 months later the two of you were closer than ever, despite both of your busy schedules. 

Standing backstage at the Mnet Countdown show, you took nervous breaths as a stylist fitted a mic headset against your face. You were finally debuting and, though you knew your time as a trainee was short compared to that of other idols (especially to compared to your boyfriend’s), it had felt like a lifetime. Looking around at your group members, you felt a small ounce of consolation knowing that you weren’t the only foreign member- there were 3 of you in total- but still you were prepared for the backlash you might face. You’d already accumulated a large fan following as trainee’s through rookie showcases, especially overseas, but the nerves in your stomach were still overwhelming. Just as you heard the MC’s announcing your group’s name and you prepared to take the stage, you felt a tap on your shoulder reminiscent of that night so many months ago when Chan had helped you out of your darkest moment.Turning quickly, your eyes met the loving gaze of your boyfriend as a small smile flickered across your face, spinning you around in his arms as he took in how good your stage costume looked. 

*blushing as you unintentionally breathed out a sigh of relief, something that had become a habit for you every time you saw Chan’s face*

“Yahh, what’re you doing here- we’re going on stage any second!”

*smiling as though he didn’t seem to care that you were short on time and his presence there at all was risky if any photographers happened to be near by*

“I don’t care, baby- you know I had to be here for this. God...look at you.”

*smiling shyly before turning away as you heard one of your member’s call your name and wave you over*

“I’ve gotta go, babe but...thank you for being here. Are you gonna stay and watch?”

*nodding as he patted your head lovingly, letting go of you so that you could join your other members*

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world, Y/N...I’m so proud of you.”

Minho: 

You’d been in Seoul for a little over a year when you met he man who would later become your boyfriend and, ironically enough, you met him on an idol survival show. Of course Minho wasn’t a contestant on Produce 101, but he was brought onto the show for a couple episodes as a guest judge towards the end of the reality show filming. He appeared as a judge for the last 3 episodes- when there were only a handful of trainees left- and you were among them. Though you hadn’t interacted a ton during the production of the show, the moment that sparked your initial crush was during a rehearsal leading up to the final episode where Minho was overseeing and choreographing the dance practice. You’d almost mastered the difficult and demanding choreo, but as you lept into the air for what felt like the 100th time that day you felt your ankle weaken underneath you and in an instant your body collapsed into a heap on the floor. As your fellow trainees and friend’s gasped, it was Minho who had been the first to run to your side- the look of genuine concern evident on his face. He’d offered to help you out of the studio, away from the cameras, and to the designated nurse a few doors down. In the quietude of the hallway, as the young man slipped his arm around your waist to balance you as you stumbled, you couldn’t help but feel your heart rate quicken. You were far from fluent in Korean but you conversation skills were passable after having lived and trained in the country for a year, so you muttered out a polite apology as you continued to lean on him for support. In that moment, he’d stopped you for a moment, turning his body to face you as he propped your back against the wall, causing a small gasp to escape your lips. He didn’t lean in when he spoke, keeping a professional distance between the two of you, but his voice was like honey and it almost made you wish that he had leaned in just a little. 

“Don’t apologize, Y/N...it’s my fault for pushing you too much during practice. I’ll take full responsibility.”

You shook your head, assuring him that you didn’t blame him and how sorry you were for taking up his time, to which he’d only smiled, helping you off the wall and towards the nurse’s door. Just as you were about to go inside and he was headed back into the practice room, he’d turned to you with that famous charismatic smile spread across his face. If his words hadn’t resonated with you so deeply, you almost would’ve not heard him over how focused you were on his ridiculously handsome features.

“Listen to the doctor, ok? Don’t give them a hard time just because you want to perform, you have to make sure you’re healed first...you have to win, Y/N, you deserve to win.” 

After Produce 101 had ended and you had placed in the top 3, earning yourself a spot in the nation’s next big group, all of the winning contestants along with the judges and producers were invited to a large celebratory dinner at the company. After the dinner had finished and you and the other winning trainees were getting ready to head back to your dorm, Minho had pulled you aside and congratulated you on winning. That same night he’d asked you out- and it was the first and possibly only time that you’d seen him truly nervous. You’d been a bit taken aback at the time but one date turned into 3 months and, despite your relationship being a secret from the public eye and having to work around both of your busy schedules, you could honestly say it was all worth it.

Your group went on to begin training and preparations for your big and highly anticipated debut, and when the time finally came all of the fans that had watched your journey from Produce 101 were more excited than ever. Minho had texted you to say that he’d be watching your debut stage and to wish you good luck- and despite knowing how busy he was you had to admit that it stung a little knowing he wouldn’t get to see you on the day of your debut. It wasn’t until you were backstage with your members, 10 of you in total, waiting to take the stage when you heard the voice of the special MC announcing your group- a voice you were all too familiar with. Your eyes widened as your members whispered to themselves, wondering if it really was the same man who’d been a guest judge on your survival show a handful of months earlier. A blush filled your cheeks as you tried to focus, not wanting to get your hopes up on the off chance that you were just hearing things, but as you entered the performance stage and took your place as you awaited the cues from the cameramen, you couldn’t help but smile at the MC in front of you- none other than your proud boyfriend staring back at you. 

“Everyone, please join me in welcoming the incredible new rookies on their debut- let’s show them a lot of love, ok?! Music, cue!”

It was only a flash of a smile that you caught before the music began and you refocused your attention on giving a flawless performance, but it was enough to give you the confidence boost you needed. After the show had finished and you were all on cloud 9 from your official debut performance, you searched backstage to find the man who’d given you so much confidence. You finally found him in his dressing room and the instant he saw you he’d light up, pulling you into a warm embrace despite the risk of cameras around. Laughing, you pushed him lightly as he only wrapped his arms around you tighter, shaking his head as the smile on his face only widened. 

“You did so well today, Jagiya.”

*blushing as you stared down at the floor, finally loosing his grasp on you as he took your hand in his*

“You didn’t tell me you’d be MCing, Minnie.”

“I wanted it to be a surprise, hopefully it wasn’t too much for you.”

*smiling as you shook your head, squeezing his hand that was intertwined with yours*

“It was perfect. Do you think I’ll do ok though?”

*giving you a confused look as he played haphazardly with your fingers*

“Why...because you’re a foreigner?”

*nodding slowly as you bit your lip, despite having debuts the pressures as a foreign idol were weighing on you*

“You’ve made it this far, Y/N...if you can do that, you can do anything. Besides, I’m right here by your side. I won’t let anyone hurt you, I promise.”

Changbin: 

You’d met Changbin after being in Seoul for only a handful of weeks, after being accepted into the trainee program at SM Entertainment, and you’d been taking private Korean lessons at a famous language center. It was a popular place for companies to send their idols and trainees who needed additional language lessons, usually for Korean and English classes, and it felt as though you basically lived there. When you weren’t training at the company you were at the language center doing everything you could to improve your Korean and, though you could feel yourself progressing, you also felt the immense pressures to push yourself even farther. It wasn’t until one evening when you were up late studying at the language center, that a young man had come up to you with several English textbooks in his arms. He was barely recognizable as an idol at that point, wearing glasses and an oversized hoodie with slight bags under his eyes from staying up so late, but his cautious smile was warm and inviting. He’d asked in somewhat broken English if you spoke the language, and when you responded in very broken Korean that you did, he’d sat down across from you in relief. 

“I am trying to..uhmm..get better with my pronounciation. I think my English is..mmm, not that good. Is it ok if I talk to you?” 

It had been the first time anyone had attempted to make conversation with you in English since you’d been in Seoul, and though you didn’t know him at all you felt compelled to help him. You flipped through your Korean textbook, showing it to him and asking him if he would help you in return, which he’d happily agreed to. The two of you had spent the rest of the night trying to make converse with your limited knowledge of the other’s language but, despite not having a fluent speaker between the two of you, you’d felt like the conversations came naturally and you almost didn’t want it to end. He’d walked you to the bus stop once the language center closed for the night, and had put his number in your phone so that you could meet back at the same place to practice the next day. it went that way for a month or two, meeting practically every night to study together- and you found that you picked up the language best when you were jut talking casually between the two of you. You got to know each other through the conversations you had, talking about anything from family and childhood stories to your current professions. You talked about what it was like to be a trainee and having Changbin as a someone you could confide in during those first couple months in Seoul became a huge source of motivation for you to keep going. The first date the two of you went on wasn’t even really a date, you’d just become so involved in your conversation that when the language center closed he’d suggested going to a convenient store across the street and getting food. It was the first time that you’d successfully ordered something in full Korean, and Changbin had been so proud of you that in the moment he’d pulled you into an embrace in the middle of the convenient store- making you blush. He’d apologized afterwards, stumbling over his words until finally he took a deep breath, admitting that he liked you (which he was able to do in fluent English). You’d responded in fluent, though probably still somewhat broken, Korean that you liked him as well- and the rest was history. That was two years ago and after all that time dedicated to practicing and rehearsing tirelessly- you’d managed to be selected for debut. 

When you’d told your boyfriend, he was almost more excited than you were. He was so filled with pride that you’d achieved everything you’d set out to do- but it wasn’t until the night of the performance as he watched from backstage that he felt tears pricking at the corners of eyes. It would be a mix of pride and nerves for Binnie, knowing that you were so talented and deserved all the support and love in the world, but also being worried that you’d receive hate in the industry for being a foreign idol. He knew you were strong, but he also knew himself well enough to know that watching someone receive any kind of negativity would absolutely crush him. He wouldn’t bring it up to you, you knew what you were getting yourself into and he trusted that you could handle yourself despite being in such a tough industry. More than anything he was so proud, watching your absolutely flawless performance on your debut stage filled his heart with a sense of admiration he’d never felt before, and as you ran backstage after your performance with the other members of your group- you spotted him in an instant. He smiled, pulling you aside as the other 5 members of your group playfully teased the two of you, giving you some space. 

“Did we do well, Binnie? You can be honest?”

*smiling as he cupped your face in his hands, staring at you in silence for a moment as he he shook his head*

‘it was perfect, baby....you were perfect.”

*lighting up you blushed slightly, prodding him further*

“Are you sure? You can say if it could’ve been better, I’ll work harder and I know there’s still so much I can do better I-”

*shaking his head as he pressed a thumb to your lips, interrupting you as he blinked back tears in his slightly misty eyes*

“Wahh, you see this, baby? Your performance was so good your boyfriend is gonna cry- isn’t that enough proof?”

Hyunjin: 

You’d been in Seoul working as a trainee at JYP Entertainment for a year and a half, after being recruited from an international audition. Though you’d never met any of the members of Stray Kids (or any other JYP artist for that matter), you were very familiar with who they were and you looked up to them a lot. It wasn’t until a particular dance showcase that JYP announced he’d have an additional person watching the performances with him. You hadn’t even processed that it was Hyunjin walking through the door until he was practically seated at the supervisor’s table- all you could do was stand frozen as your heart rate quickened and your palms grew damp. He introduced himself politely and said a few encouraging words before sitting back down and calling the first group of trainee’s forward to perform the choreography. You were in the third group and, by the time he got to your name the butterflies in your stomach had only gotten worse. When he read your name of the list he paused for a moment, recognizing that it was not a Korean name. He looked up, his eyes landing on you immediately as the obvious owner of the foreign name. He smiled softly, waving you forward and you had no choice but to nervously approach the table. All eyes were on you as he leaned towards you slightly to speak in a soft voice.

“It must be difficult, huh?” You didn’t want to think of the way your face must’ve flushed when he made eye contact with you, so you just nodded softly and turned your gaze to the floor. 

“Use it, ok? You’re always gonna stand out, but don’t let it be a bad thing. Just keep trying, you were accepted for a reason...” 

It was the first time somewhat within the company had addressed your nationality in a way that was entirely encouraging and supportive- and it gave you the confidence you so desperately needed to perform your best at the showcase. 

After the performance had ended you didn’t have an opportunity to thank Hyunjin for his kind words, but over the course of the next couple weeks you later found out that he’d been trying his best to find your schedule so he could run into you again. He convinced himself that it was just because he wanted to show you support since he imagined being a foreign trainee must be very difficult, but deep down he knew it was more than that. He was interested in you, and when he did finally manage to run into you at the practice studios late one night he took it as a sign that he had to at least try. He’d offered to run through some difficult choreography with you and, despite you insisting that you didn’t want to take up his time, he assured you that it was no trouble. The two of you stayed up practicing until the early hours of the morning- but it was by far the most fun you’d had since beginning your training and you were endlessly grateful for that. Just as the two of you had agreed to call it quits for the day and began packing up, he’d asked if you were allowed to have a cell phone. You’d told him that you did, since you were a foreigner you needed to have it for emergency contacts and translation apps, to which he just smiled. He asked if he could see you again, gesturing for you to give him your phone. When he returned it to you there was an additional contact in your phone book- under the name “Grandpa”. You laughed, giving him a quizzical look.

“It’s in case anyone searches through your phone- I wouldn’t want you to get in trouble because of me, Y/N...I-I probably shouldn’t even be talking to you, I know you’re not allowed to date anyone...but I wanna get to know you. I’m sorry if that’s too forward.”

Over the next handful of months you and Hyunjin became closer, mostly meeting late at night in the dance studio to practice and, though your language skills weren’t exactly fluent, you had enough conversational skills between the two of you to create a dialogue. It wasn’t perfect, the two of you didn’t have a proper date outside of the company building for the first several months that you were seeing each other, but it was enough. On your 6 month anniversary, sitting on the floor of the dimly lit practice room for what seemed like the millionth time, Hyunjin had stared at you with an expression on his face that you couldn’t quite place. 

“Promise me something, baby.” You’d agreed, giving him a slightly confused look as he scooted closer to you.

“Promise me that when you debut, you’ll let me take you out on a proper date.” You’d felt slightly embarrassed at the time, saying that you didn’t know if you’d ever debut and that he shouldn’t wait for you if he didn’t want to, but he’d only smiled, cupping your face with his hands and assuring you that’d wait as long as it took. 

A full year after that night in the dance studio- you’d finally been selected for debut. You were beyond excited and, though you knew it’d be tough being a foreigner, you also knew there’d be a lot of support for you from international fans. When you told your boyfriend, he was absolutely elated. That is, until you told him that your debut performance (which he’d been promising since you met that he would be there for) was on the same day as Stray Kid’s comeback performance. Despite both performing on Inkigayo, you were on completely stages recording at similar times which meant that Hyunjin couldn’t physically be there to watch your debut performance in person. The one saving grace, however, was that at the end of all the performances on the show that night- every artist was brought onto a central stage to film the closing scene and thank their fans for tuning in. You hadn’t noticed it at first, but as Hyunjin took the stage with his members, still slightly sweaty and dressed in his stage costume from his recent performance, he was also holding a bouquet of roses. He glanced in your direction just before the cameras started rolling, smiling brightly and giving you a small thumbs up. It wasn’t until after the cameras were rolling and Stray Kids had said their closing remarks, however, that Chan stepped forward to say one last thing. 

“We’d also like to congratulate JYP’s latest group on their debut- we look forward to working with you more! Fighting!” Despite Chan being the leader, it was Hynjin who stepped out from his place and walked over towards your group, the five of you looking between each other in slight confusion as Hyunjin walked directly up to you. Handing you the bouquet of roses, he smiled and gave a polite bow. You were shocked by his bold action, though you were the leader of your group you’d never anticipated him handing you flowers on national television. Nevertheless, you returned the polite bow, thanking him. 

*flashing you a knowing smile as your took the bouquet in your arms, trying your best not to blush while the cameras were still rolling*

“Congratulations on your debut, Y/N.” 

Jisung: 

When you first met Jisung, you weren’t even officially in Seoul yet. You’d just been recruited as an idol trainee at Cube Entertainment and were flying to South Korea to begin training. Your flight had a layover in Singapore where, coincidentally, Jisung also was after visiting some old friends at the international school he’d attended in western Malaysia. He was flying back to Seoul after taking a short vacation and, as it turned out, the two of you were on the same flight. You couldn’t speak a word of Korean outside of a few basic phrases, so when you heard the warm voice of a young man sitting down beside you speaking in English you felt a small sense of relief that you wouldn’t have to take out your pocket dictionary. 

“Excuse me, would it be ok if we closed the blinds...just while the plane’s taking off? It makes me a bit dizzy.” You’d looked up to meet his polite, apologetic gaze and for a moment you almost couldn’t think straight. He was one of the most handsome men you’d ever seen, but you collected yourself quickly and nodded, closing the blinds as Jisung thanked you. That had been your first interaction however, after a completely chance delay on the tarmac for an additional 3 hours, your conversation slowly expanded as you began simple conversations with one another. He’d asked you why you were travelling to Seoul alone, and when you’d told him that you were a trainee his face lit up- explaining that he also worked in the industry and that if you needed advice or help with anything to let him know. By the time your plane actually took off the ground it felt as though you’d made a real friend- his amiable and laid-back demeanor felt welcoming in a world where everything else was so new and uncertain to you and you’d appreciated that. After an additional 6 hours in the air, however, watching a movie together and drifting in and out of sleep against Jisung’s shoulder- you felt that you’d made more than just a good friend. It was a completely chance meeting, and you weren’t sure when you’d be able to see him again due to your busy schedules, but you’d both felt in that moment that there was something between you worth not giving up on.

When you finally landed in Seoul it was late at night and, fortunately, no photographers had been tipped off that Jisung would be there. He helped you load your bags into the taxi, breathing out a nervous sigh at the realization that if he didn’t say something now he might never see you again. He’d hoped that it would be a bit smoother in his head, but as soon as he saw you opening the door of the cab he’d blurted out a jumble of nervous words. 

“Y/N wait- listen I know you’ll be super busy and I’m always insanely busy too but I-I wanna see you again and I wanna keep talking to you because I-I think meeting you was really special and the best luck I’ve had in a while so maybe if-if it’s ok with you I could get your number?”

You felt a weight lifted off your shoulders at the realization that he felt it too, and you happily agreed. You hadn’t even arrived at the dorm when you received a text from Jisung apologizing for uncool he must’ve looked and promising that the next time he saw you he’d be more put-together. That had been your first meeting, and 3 years later you were still going strong. 

You worked ridiculously hard at training and studying Korean in those 3 years, supporting your boyfriend over every comeback, and when you were finally approved for debut in the latest group at Cube Jisung was unbelievably excited. Knowing that he could be there to support you and your members on your journey would make his heart fill with pride, and he had to admit the added bonus of you no longer being under a dating ban would make going on dates a lot easier. He knew you’d have a hard time being a foreigner in the industry, it had been hard enough as a trainee, but he’d also been with you long enough to know that you were strong enough to take on any challenge. 

When your debut stage finally came around, Jisung wouldn’t miss it for the world. His heart was practically beating out of his chest as he watched on the large monitor from the guest room backstage, his eyes becoming misty as he watched your effortlessly perfect performance. You were so incredible, and you were his. After your performance had finished and you’d come backstage with your members, it wouldn’t take Jisung long to wrap his arms around you and pull you aside, not paying any mind to all the people around you. You blushed as he pulled you towards him, sitting down near the back corner of the bustling room filled with tons of people all of whom were eager to congratulate you and your members on your debut. All you could focus on was Jisung, though, as he smiled sweetly with warm and pride-filled eyes.

“You did so well today, baby...you know that right? You did so so well.”

*blushing as he cupped your cheek in his hand, a small teasing smile playing on his lips*

“You’re an idol now, huh? Are you still gonna want to date me? There are gonna be a lot more guys asking you out from now on, you know.”

*rolling your eyes as you shoved him playfully, assuring him that he was the only guy you wanted to be with*

“I’m gonna hold you to that, super star.”

Felix: 

You’d met Felix while training in Seoul, after being accepted into Pledis Entertainment about two months earlier, at a gaming cafe of all places. You didn’t have much time as a trainee who was also struggling to learn the language, but when you could you tried your best to work late nights at the gaming cafe around the corner from your dorm in order to earn a bit of pocket change. It just so happened that Felix had agreed to play a match with a few old friends from Australia when his personal computer died- leaving him with no other option but to find a 24 hour gaming cafe. It’d started as only a one time visit for Felix, he hardly had time to drive the 15 minutes to a gaming cafe when he had his own computer at the dorm, but after seeing that you were the one behind the check-in counter he decided the 15 minute drive might not be such a horrible thing. You hadn’t paid him much attention the first time, you spent most of your time behind the counter studying your Korean textbooks and watching playback videos of the dance practices from earlier that week, but after a few hours of gaming as Felix was finally leaving the cafe (having been the only customer there in the first place) you glanced up. He was standing in front of you, bare faced and smiling as he brushed his fluffy, unkempt hair away from his face and adjusted the hood of his plain black jacket. 

“H-have a good night, sir.” You’d muttered in the best Korean you could muster at such a late hour, causing Felix to smile slightly as he raised a brow.

“How long have you been here? In Seoul, I mean.” When you gave him a confused look, surprised by his immediate switch into fluent English, he laughed slightly, apologizing for his straightforwardness. 

“Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to startle you. I’m a foreigner too- I’m from Australia. Don’t worry, it get’s easier, I promise.” You smiled slightly, nodding as you glanced over at the textbook on the counter. Felix followed your gaze, his face brightening slightly as he pointed to the book. 

“Those books seem so childish, they really work though, I swear. I used the same ones.” You couldn’t place your finger on why exactly, but something about the stranger’s reassurance comforted you more than you’d known you needed.

“I’m Felix, by the way. What’s your name?” You’d replied with your name, taking his extended hand and shaking it softly as he smiled. 

“Will you be here tomorrow, Y/N?” You nodded and, though he hadn’t asked, you noticed yourself telling him every night that you worked at the cafe. You knew it was a stretch, and that your interest in him must have been so obvious from the way you told a complete stranger your work schedule unprompted, but you almost hoped that maybe he’d come see you again. He did, of course, and he felt a little better about his obvious tactics at trying to get to know you better by the fact that you also seemed interested in him. One visit to the cafe turned into several, always late at night and almost always when hardly no one else was at the shop. After a few weeks of his frequent visits, Felix stopped pretending that he was coming there to even use the computers, instead opting to sit across from you at the counter and just have conversations with you. They were mostly in English, but he also did his best to help you with your Korean and for that you were endlessly grateful. Though you knew who he was, his face was fairly famous across Korea after all, you never brought it up because it never came up in conversation. It didn’t seem to be something Felix had any interest in talking about, instead you spent most of your time talking about your dreams, things you wanted in life, the biggest abstract concepts and those most minute details. Mostly you just found ways to make each other laugh, and though neither one of you realized it at the time you were an escape for each other. In the same way that Felix hadn’t discussed his work with you, you hadn’t discussed your real reason for being in Seoul with him. You’d told him that you were studying Korean and that you worked part time at the gaming cafe, but it never seemed relevant to bring up the fact that first and foremost you were a trainee. It wasn’t that you’d intentionally hid it from him, if he’d asked you directly you would’ve told him, but there was something innocent and nice about discussing other things besides just your everyday activities and lines of work. it almost felt like a movie.

In fact, the night that Felix asked you out properly (to grab noodles from the convenient store across the street), he still didn’t know that you were a trainee. He didn’t know for a few months after that either- you’d only told him when it came up in conversation as he was driving you somewhere (this time in the light of day) and he’d asked where to drop you off. You’d casually replied, telling him Pledis Entertainment, causing your boyfriend to laugh and give you the strangest look. 

“Pledis? Yahh- Y/N! Are you not telling me something?” Fortunately your light-hearted boyfriend had found the humor in the situation, making you promise to not keep any big information from him like that and formally apologizing for also not talking about his work in the same way. It was only 6 months after that conversation that you were approved for debut.

Though Felix hadn’t been there for a good portion of your time as a training knowingly, he’d been there for you in the way you needed most. When your debut stage finally arrived he’d asked you if you wanted him to come, seeing as how he’d missed so much of your trainee experience. In all honesty you felt like your nerves might be too high if he were there and you didn’t want him to go out of his way, so instead you compromised and promised you could watch the debut stage together the next day when it aired. He’d agreed, meeting up with you at the cafe where you’d met that fateful evening several months ago and warmly pulling you into an embrace. After watching the stage performance on one of the computers several times over and pausing on every close up of your face to shower you with compliments, he turned to you with bright eyes and a wide grin plastered on his face. 

“Babe..just- wahhh....Wow. Oh my gosh.”

*giggling as you smacked him lightly, insisting that he was just hyping you up as he continued to tease you*

“My (girlfriend/boyfriend) is a celebrity, huh? Wahh, that makes me so cool. And you’re so talented too...Will you let me come to your next performance, baby? I’ve missed so much already, I really wanna watch you perform this live.”

Seungmin: 

You’d been a trainee at KQ Entertainment for just under 3 years when you met your soon-to-be boyfriend. You’d just walked into a small coffee shop located on the outskirts of Seoul after a long day of training in hopes of getting something to warm you up. Seungmin also happened to be there, though not for the reasons one might think. He was dressed in full barista attire, standing calmly behind the counter with his phone in his hand as he snapped a few pictures of himself. A few crew members were staggered about the coffee shop, along with a few elderly customers who didn’t see to mind the intrusion. He was there taking photos for a comeback concept- but as you entered the shop and immediately focused your attention on the menu, you hadn’t noticed anything out of the ordinary about the young, handsome man behind the counter. 

“Can I get a latte please, and also maybe one of those muffins?” You gestured towards the baked goods on display, not paying much attention to face staring back at you with a small smile flickering across his lips. Just as one of the crew members was about to step in and assure you that the man you were talking to was, in fact, not a qualified barista in any sense- Seungmin waved them off. He nodded, placing your muffin in a small box and handing it to you, his heartbeat a little faster than he would like to admit. Though your eyes hadn’t met yet, he was looking directly at you- and something about you was alluring to him. He blushed slightly as he tried desperately to think of what might go in a latte, ultimately resorting to pressing several different buttons on machines that he had no idea how to work. Coffee began pouring out of every orifice of the machine, and loud whirring noises let him know that whatever he’d done it was horribly wrong. He gasped, cursing under his breath as the crew rushed in to help him. Only then had you looked up, eyes wide at the odd spectacle of several grown men trying to subdue a rogue coffee machine. Stifling a laugh, you got Seungmin’s attention and pointed towards the power cord, which he then hastily unplugged. The whirring came to a halt and half-brewed coffee stopped spewing- and in an instant the two of you were chuckling to yourselves. The crew members left to get cleaned up, leaving the two of you alone for a moment as you looked at the man who’s crisp white button up was now covered in coffee stains. Smiling softly, he apologized for the commotion, admitting that he didn’t actually work there. 

“I’m here for a..uhm, a photoshoot...thing. I, I don’t know the first thing about coffee.” You’d laughed gently in response, assuring him that it was ok. 

“Hmm, can you make tea?” Butterflies rose in his stomach when you looked at him with a playful smile, and he’d nodded, locating the hot water and pouring some into the cutest mug he could find. Placing the small bag of herbs into the water, he handed you the mug and warned you that it was hot. You’d thanked him, paying for your beverage and taking a seat near the back of the cafe. Only a few minutes had passed before you were joined by the same smiling man, asking if he could sit with you and- though you didn’t know the first thing about him- you’d agreed. Maybe it was his trustworthy eyes or the fact that you couldn’t supress the heat that rose to your cheeks whenever he smiled at you- whatever it was something made you feel compelled to keep his company. You talked for a while, though it wasn’t long before the crew members came back and started rushing Seungmin out of the shop. He apologized for having to leave so suddenly, and as you stood to watch him go you’d called out to him.

“W-wait..I know you’re probably way too busy but- well...” You didn’t have the nerves to ask if you could see him again, though you desperately wanted to. He read the emotions on your face, smiling as he was guided out of the shop by the staff. Motioning towards your mug of tea, he gave you a thumbs up and just before he was out the door he gestured for you to call him. Then, in a flash, he was gone. You stared down quizzically at the mug of tea he’d prepared for you, and after a moment of staring at it blankly you noticed the small tag on the end of the tea bag had small writing scribbled on the backside. You couldn’t help the ear-to-ear grin that formed on your face when you realized that it was a phone number. 

From the inception of your relationship with Seungmin, things had been very secretive and under-wraps. You met when you could, always late at night and in the oddest places possible to avoid cameras, especially since you were still a trainee and technically under a dating ban. On top of that, the tabloids would have a field day if Seungmin was spotted with not only a trainee, but a foreign trainee. It had only been a few days after you’d been approved for debut, one year after that fateful night in the coffee shop, that you and Seungmin were caught by one of the managers at KQ Entertainment. You’d only been having a simple meal together, but of course the two of you were in a mountain of trouble. Because you’d technically already been approved for debut they were a bit more lenient with you, but nevertheless your phone was temporarily confiscated and the two of you had to agree not to let your relationship get caught by photographers or anyone else outside the company. In the few weeks preparing for your groups debut you weren’t allowed to go anywhere without supervision and Seungmin was no longer invited to your debut stage. That being said, Seungmin had a way of getting what he wanted- and there was nothing that he wanted more than to see all of your hard work come to fruition. 

The day of the debut, you and your members were already on edge, rehearsing in your dressing room over and over again as giddy nerves bubbled up on your stomach. You wished that your boyfriend could be there with you, as he always knew exactly what to say to calm your nerves, but you knew he’d be thinking of you and that was enough. Your performance, of course, went smoothly without a single hitch, and you almost didn’t want to leave the cheering audience as you and your members took a bow, exiting the stage. It wasn’t until you wer backstage, however, that one of the assistants came up to you with a look of urgency on her face. 

“Y/N? This is for you.” Handing you a small coffee cup, you gave the woman a confused look. Asking who ti was from, the woman only shrugged, stating that she only knew it was supposed to go to you and not to let anyone else have it. You frowned, definitely hesitant to accept a drink from a stranger. In fact, you’d almost thrown it away until you saw small scribbled handwriting on the side of the cup- trying your best to read it without drawing attention to yourself. 

3rd floor dressing room A16, down the hall on the right. 

Love, your favorite barista

Smiling, you clutched the cup to your chest, letting one of your members know that you were going to use the restroom as you quickly made a dash for the back stairs. When you made it to the mostly quiet 3rd floor and found the correct dressing room, you opened the door to see a completely empty room, save your boyfriend smiling from ear to ear. He ran up to you, pulling you into a bear hug and placing his hand over your head as he stroked your hair. You could tell from his casual attire that he’d tried really hard to get into the building without being noticed, teasing him slightly as you adjusted the hat on his head. 

“You did all this just to see me after the performance?” 

*nodding as he smiled widely, blushing slightly at his bold move that was definitely putting both of you at risk for getting in trouble if anyone found out*

“I have my ways, Jagi- I had to see you. On of the producers let me watch from the soundroom...you did so well today!” 

*humbling deflecting his compliment, assuring him that it was a group effort as he stepped closer to you, his bright smile never wavering*

“Baby, give yourself credit, hmm? You were amazing out there. I know how hard it’s been for you, but everything was perfect.” 

“You mean it, Seungminnie?” 

*nodding and flashing you a wide smile to assure you that he was being serious*

“I mean it, Y/N...now aren’t you proud of me for sneaking in here?”

Jeongin: 

You met Jeongin after training at P-Nation Entertainment for a little over a year and a half and, though your Korean skills were still developing you had a decent grasp on the language and managed to get by fairly well. Besides being a trainee at P-Nation you were also a backup dancer for some of your label’s big name solo artists and, on the particular occasion where you met Jeongin, you were backup dancing for Hyuna. The solo star had just comeback with her latest single and was performing it on Mnet, coincidentally the same day that Stray Kids was also promoting a comeback on the same show. You’d been in the dancer’s dressing room amongst a sea of other dancers for various artists performing on the show that day- all of you in a variety of different costumes and aesthetics. Being that you were a backup dancer for Hyuna (who is famously known for her sleek and sexy concepts on stage), your garment was a little on the revealing and tight side. It was flattering, of course, but nevertheless it was a little out of your comfort zone. You had just finished getting ready and were standing in the hallway of the backstage area as you waited for the other dancers- when several idols began walking past. You could feel their eyes on you as they passed by, making you slightly uncomfortable as you tried your best to place your arms over your body. You tried to adjust the fabric so that it would cover you a bit more, but it was no use. You didn’t mind it on stage because that was part of the job, but just standing still with stranger’s eyes on you made you feel a bit embarrassed. It wasn’t until you felt a gentle tap on your shoulder that you pulled your gaze away from the floor, looking up to see a young man with a sympathetic smile and warm eyes in front of you. He was clearly dressed and ready to perform, a mic pack was already attached to him and his hair was perfectly styled, yet he was extending his arm towards you with a jacket in hand. You gave him a quizzical look and he just smiled bashfully. 

“Oh, um..I’m sorry. I saw you standing here and you look a bit, um, uncomfortable? You can wear this if you like.” He gestured again to the oversized leather jacket in his hand that had clearly been a part of his stage costume just moments earlier. You smiled softly, feeling heat rise in your cheeks but this time in a positive way. Shaking your head, you insisted that you shouldn’t accept the jacket when he was supposed to wear it on stage, but he persisted. 

“No, it’s fine really! It’s too heavy to perform in anyway. Just wear it until you have to go on stage, you’re a dancer right?” You’d nodded, telling him that you were going on stage shortly for Hyuna’s comeback. He laughed slightly and nodded his head, though there was something you really appreciated about the fact that his gaze never drifted below your eye level. 

“That explains the costume. Here, wear the jacket until you have to go on stage. You can return it to me at the end of the show, deal?” You’d hesitanttly agreed to the kind stranger’s proposal, putting the large jacket on and immediately feeling more comfortable. You thanked him and he waved it off casually, leaving to get ready for his own performance. After the show when you returned the jacket to him, he admitted that it looked much better on you and that he’d hoped you would keep it. When you insisted that you couldn’t dream of keeping a stranger’s jacket he’d just grinned from ear-to-ear and, though his nerves were bubbling up inside him, he kept a cool and collection disposition when he replied, 

“Hmm, maybe we don’t have to be strangers then.” He apologized almost immediately afterwards for the bold line, but when he saw the way it made your face light up he couldn’t help but push it one step farther, asking in a slightly more bashful tone if you’d like to get lunch sometime. You’d agreed, and the rest was history.

A year later, P-Nation Entertainment announced it’s first group was scheduled to debut, and you were among the members. Jeongin would be so incredibly proud of you, feeling an array of emotions at the fact that his (girlfriend/boyfriend) was finally debuting. Dating in secret over the past year had been especially difficult for Jeongin, since he knew that if you were caught it would especially risk your career since you hadn’t debuted yet- and on top of that he’d hate hearing the comments you received for being a foreign idol trainee. Though there was a lot of support as well, Jeongin desperately wanted to speak up publicly and shame those who had negative comments to say towards you, but he couldn’t when your relationship was a secret. The night of your debut, as Jeongin watched from backstage in a private viewing room, he knew in his heart that you were more than just someone special to him. He’d wanted to be someone who could protect from the moment he met you and gave you his jacket and, despite any criticism the two of you might face, he wanted to be that person for you publicly. After your debut as Jeongin pulled you into a warm embrace, showering you with praise for your incredible performance, he took a deep breath, whispering softly as he took your hand in his.

“Jagi...I-I wanna be your boyfriend, publicly. For the whole world to see.” When you gave him a confused expression, he’d explain.

“Not right now, I know you only just debuted...but someday. When I’m worthy of it.” 

*blushing softly as you insisted that he was by no means unworthy of being your boyfriend*

“Innie you know I’d love that...but it’s just so hard to say with something like that, what if people don’t like us together or-”

*shaking his head as a smile rose on his cheeks, interjecting*

“When we win Album of the Year. How about that, hmm Y/N? Once...once Stray Kids has won album of the year...and once your group has won Rookie of the Year. How does that sound?” You’d laughed at the time, feeling that awards were still so far off in the future for your newly debuted group, but nevertheless you agreed. 

A mere six months later, taking the stage with your 6 other members at the MAMA’s to accept your very first Rookie of the Year award, you felt your heartbeat quicken and butterflies rise in your stomach as you looked out of the crowd as they applauded. You caught your boyfriend’s eyes as he proudly stared up at you. It wasn’t even an hour later that Stray Kids took the stage to accept their 3rd and most prestigious award of the night- Album of the Year. As each member gave a short acceptance speech of gratitude and love, Jeongin expressed much appreciation towards his fans, his family and his members. He hadn’t told you that he’d received permission from the company, so despite your promise 6 months earlier you weren’t expecting anything grand during his speech. That’s why it took you by surprise almost as much as the rest of the audience, when he called out your name. 

“Uhm, actually- there is one more person I’d like to thank. (She’s/He’s) helped me through so much over the past year and a half, and I’m very lucky to have (her/him) in my life. Truthfully, I-I don’t know if I’m good enough for (her/him)...but I promised this person that if we won Album of the Year we would stop hiding our relationship, so thank you Stay’s for making this dream of mine come true. And Y/N...thank you for being such a good (girlfriend/boyfriend)- congratulations on Rookie of the Year, Jagiya.”

[shadow-dancing]

Some (썸)

Part of a Sports AU collab hosted by @leesmrk​

Dedicated to Dee —🌿 Inspired by a fan video of Denis Ten & Yuna Kim, as well as Robbie Williams.

Words: 4,052 Genre: sports AU, figure skater!jisung 

Listen: She’s the One ; Vuelie ; Some (썸)

The figure skating competitions at the Winter Olympics came to an end with the conclusion of the free skate for Ladies' singles. It was your first time representing your country at the Olympics, & you had clocked in at 140 points, landing you at 5th place.  

The event after the competitions was the Gala Exhibition, where the individual & pair skaters who either won or were close to winning a medal got to perform routines—showcasing each skater's personality & performing tricks— followed by a group skating. You were one of the selected skaters to perform, & while you could hardly wait to perform the routine for your individual program, you were incredibly nervous for the group dance.  

---------------------------------------

[Practice Day 1; 5PM] 

You panted, finishing your individual routine with a flourish. Yulia, a fellow skater clapped, praising you. You laughed & curtseyed dramatically, thanking her as you skated off to grab some water from the bench. There were a few people in the audience who had come to watch the practice & they waved at you; you waved back.  

"ALRIGHT EVERYONE GATHER IN THE MIDDLE!" A voice boomed over the speakers, almost making you choke on your water.  

You turned just as a burly man jostled into your arm; the man apologized curtly as he walked off. Unfortunately, you had forgotten to cap your bottle, & some of the contents splashed onto the windbreaker of the skater near you. You gasped, & the skater looked down at the wet patch on his jacket. You recognized him—tall & baby-faced, Park Jisung was the 19-year-old gold medallist of the men's singles. He was well known for his agility & grace, as well as his ability to execute triple Axels with ease. Jisung was immensely popular amongst skaters; you've heard people say he was very friendly & funny, & got along with everyone. You had never spoken to him, as you saw yourself as a mere nobody amongst the industry giants. & now you had blown the chance to make a good impression. 

"I am so sorry!" You wailed as you juggled between capping the bottle & grabbing a towel to wipe the water.  

"No, don't worry! It'll dry," he assured you with a wide smile. With that, he pulled off his blade guards & set it on the side before he entered the rink. You stared after him, quickly following. 

All skaters made their way to the centre, where the burly man stood, a mic in one hand & a clipboard in the other; a silver whistle hung around his neck. He introduced himself as Mr. Khan, the choreographer for the group dance, & gave a brief rundown of the group dance. You swallowed nervously—for the first part of the group dance, individual male & female skaters would pair up, & have a sort of waltz on the ice. Immediately people began excitingly searching for pairs, making a racket as they talked up a storm with who they wanted to partner up with, but Mr. Khan blew the whistle around his neck.  

"Quiet down, I will pair you guys up!" He said, turning to his clipboard as skaters erupted in groans of dismay.  

One by one, skaters were paired up, & then it was your turn. By this point only a few skaters were left, & you really hoped you were paired with someone you were familiar with. 

"Y/N!" Mr. Khan barked. You raised a tentative hand. "With Mr. Park Jisung!"  

You swallowed. Skaters & the crowd oohed & aahed, congratulating you as you made your way over to the gold medallist, whose faded pink hair made him stand out among the crowd. His face showed obvious signs that he had no idea whose name was just called, but his eyebrows shot up as you sidled up to him. 

"Oh hello, it's you! I'm Jisung," he smiled, nodding politely.  

"H-Hi, I'm Y/N," you introduced, holding out a hand.  

Jisung took it, gave your hand one firm shake, & you both proceeded to stand next to each other in silence, watching the other skaters chat livelily with their partners. You felt incredibly small standing next to the gold medallist, having won no medals yourself. Jisung on the other hand, felt very shy being paired with a girl, especially you—he had no idea who you were but he found the meet cute between the both of you funny, like something out of a romcom.  

Mr. Khan called for everyone to listen up as he began to play the music that was to be used for the group dance—Love Story, by Richard Clayderman. He arranged all skaters into groups by gender, with females standing in front of the males in 3 rows, & males behind in 3 rows. He gave a demonstration of the first choreography for females, where they were to skate forward, make 4 loops, & stop at the end of the rink to address the audience, before facing behind to hold both arms out to the males. Males will then skate forward, make 3 loops, & reach out to the females. Taking their partner's hand, the couples will break into 2 groups & sort of waltz with their partners. After 5 practices of the first part of the choreo, it was time to waltz.  

"Excuse me, may I use you to demonstrate the closed hold?" Mr. Khan asked, addressing you & Jisung. He shrugged, looking to you for permission. You nodded, & Mr. Khan pulled you both out, speaking into the mic to get everyone's attention. 

"Face your partner; males, step to the left a bit. Ladies, left hand on men's upper arm near the shoulder!" Mr. Khan instructed. You rested your left hand on Jisung's upper arm, ignoring the need to admire how well developed his biceps were. You could hear screams & hoots from the audience. 

"Men, hold the ladies' right hand in your left, & put your right palm on the ladies' shoulder blade, on the bra strap." 

Jisung took your hand without hesitation, but at the mention of where his other hand was supposed to go, he looked at you in alarm, the panic obvious in his eyes. Your face was on fire, but you nodded. He flushed, but pressed his right palm on your shoulder blade, avoiding eye contact with you.  

"Okay now sway side to side with your partner! Sway with grace!" Mr. Khan said, swaying like seagrass against the ocean currents. 

You & Jisung swayed... Not so gracefully. In fact, you were as stiff as a board—as if the fact you were holding a man so close wasn't bad enough, the whole world will have their eyes on Jisung during the gala, & you feared making him look bad. Jisung on the other hand, was equally stiff—he felt incredibly awkward holding you intimately when he couldn't even look you in the eye, & was worried he was making you uncomfortable. 

"Hey don't be so stiff—you two look like drunk octopuses! Loosen up & sway like a lazy ocean hugs the shore! Be the epitome of grace!" Mr. Khan commented as he skated by, checking up on each couple.  

You slouched, a nasty pit of anxiety swirling within you. Jisung noticed the further drop in your confidence, & wanted to say something to lighten the mood but he didn't want to say something that would make the situation worse, opting to keep his mouth shut instead. You both attempted to sway much more gracefully, but Mr. Khan's sigh of disappointment was proof it wasn't going well. 

3 excruciatingly long hours passed before you were allowed to leave the rink for the day. You broke away from Jisung immediately, giving him a small bow before leaving the rink quickly. Jisung watched you speed walk to the back after slipping on your blade guards, his heart heavy. You sat in one of the bathroom stalls, wiping the hot tears that fell—you were making a fool of yourself with your nerves, & worse of all, you were probably embarrassing Jisung too. 

---------------------------------------

[Practice Day 2; 7AM] 

Jisung awoke from an exhausting sleep, having tossed & turned all night. He felt awful; after you had exited the rink, Ten, a friend & the silver medallist, told him you were clearly uncomfortable, & this ate at him—he wished he had said something to break the ice between the both of you sooner.  

He was determined to set things right today. He informed his coach he was leaving the Olympic Village for a bit to get something, & used the bicycle-sharing system to bike into town.  

Jisung stopped in front of a little florist. He peered through the glass doors—it looked like a mini greenhouse with flowers & leaves everywhere. Gingerly, Jisung pushed open the door, & was greeted by a little old lady who was forming a heart shape with some roses. Next to her was a huge flower display, bursting with bright colours.  

"Hello dear. Wait please, I'll get my grandson to help you," she smiled as she hobbled to the back.  

Jisung looked around at the abundance of different flowers, a thought suddenly occurring to him—he had no idea what to get you.  

"Hi there, how can I help you?" A very tall man, with jet black hair & a cheeky glint in his eyes, approached Jisung. Jisung glanced at his name tag—Johnny.  

"Hello. Ah, I'm looking for... A flower to give my skating partner," Jisung mumbled.  

"Skating... Oh? You're that 2-time Olympic gold medallist, Park Jisung!" Johnny gasped, giddy with excitement. He straightened up & recomposed himself, & held a hand out. Jisung shook it.  

"But aren’t you a single skater?" 

"I am, but I have a partner for the gala. I, uh, made her feel uncomfortable & awkward during practice yesterday, & I wanted to make amends," Jisung confessed, heat rising in his cheeks as he remembered yesterday's events.  

"Okay. Anything in mind?" 

"I was hoping you could help me." 

"Sure. What's she like?" 

"I don't actually know." 

"Then, is there anything you'd like to tell her?" 

Jisung paused. He wanted to say many things—he wanted to apologize, say something to ease up the tension, & mostly, he wanted to befriend you.   

---------------------------------------

"Can we start over?"  

You blinked, registering the question. Jisung had appeared at your room, out of breath, & hammered at your door so hard the someone called the security guard to remove him from the premises. After apologizing to the guard, Jisung pulled a yellow daffodil—wrapped in a plastic package & tied off with a pink ribbon—out from the bag in hand & thrusted it into your face as he blurted out the question.  

"Ah, sorry. Let me start again," Jisung corrected himself, facepalming. "I want to say, I'm sorry with how we hit off yesterday, & I want to start over. Can we?" 

"YES WE CAN!" Your roommate, Irene, yelled from the balcony, where she was hanging clothes.  

"IRENE!" You screamed in horror, throwing your disposable slipper at her. She laughed as she closed the sliding door, & your flimsy sponge footwear bounced off the glass harmlessly. 

Steam was practically coming out of your ears as you hid your face in utter embarrassment. Jisung failed to hide his amused smile, but held the flower out once more. You hung your head, but took the flower, looking up momentarily to give him an embarrassed smile.  

"Thank you for this." 

"Shall we go practice our waltz?" 

"Okay, I'll just put this here..." you quickly placed the daffodil on your nightstand, grabbed your bag & shoes, & shot Irene a look as she giggled. You closed the door, & faced Jisung. "Alright, let's go." 

---------------------------------------

"Okay, no breaking eye contact, yeah?" Jisung reaffirmed. You nodded. 

You both got into your closed hold, eyes trained on each other, never breaking away even when swaying, which was more twisting than swaying as you both swayed at your own rhythm, pace awkwardly unmatched. Skaters who passed by eyed you both weirdly. It was definitely awkward continuing to stare at each other for longer than necessary, & you looked away first, much to both your relief.  

"What was that?" Ten asked, face scrunched & arms crossed—Jisung had asked him to spectate & give pointers. "It looked more like an intense staredown at a punching ring than an intimate dance." 

"You're both as stiff as a pine tree, both trying to be the lead. Let Jisung lead, & you follow!" Ten instructed pointedly at you.  

"Trust each other. Once you're as loose as a ripe durian, you fall—" Ten dramatically keeled backwards, free falling. Jisung let go of you quickly as he shot forward to grab Ten, who laughed in delight, by the front of his windbreaker. "& you trust this guy here to catch you. Wanna try?" 

"Next time I'm letting you hit the ice," Jisung grumbled as skated over to you, & you held your hand out for him to take. You looked up at Jisung, & he stared down at you. Relax, trust him, let him lead. 

You relaxed into his hold, & held his hand firmly. He swayed, & you followed in his rhythm. He led you into a gentle sway, & your pulse quickened at he stepped aside to twirl you. He pulled you back into his tender embrace, & Jisung's breath hitched in his throat at how close you were when you came to a stop.  

"EVERYONE GATHER AROUND FOR REHEARSALS!"  

Ten groaned, rolling his eyes. "Way to ruin the moment, Mr. Khan." 

Mr. Khan had everyone run through the routine. Everyone got in their positions, & Mr. Khan cued for the song. You readied yourself & pushed forward with the rest of the female skaters, making your loops, addressing the audience, & turning back to await the males.  

An idea formed in Jisung's head & he dropped on one knee as he glided to you, arms open as if he were welcoming a hug; he pouted his lips & stuck his chin up in a faux gentleman persona. You chuckled & amused him; you received him with arms dramatically outstretched & knees slightly bent, like a curtsey. He broke character, giggling as he enclosed his hand around yours; you pulled him up, & he spun you in his arms before slowly dipping you, careful not to lean you back too much or risk concussing you on the ice. Jisung's heart skipped a beat as you squealed with ecstatic laughter.  

---------------------------------------

[D-day; 3PM] 

Jisung examined his appearance in the long changing room mirrors. He spent an hour poking his eyeballs out while putting on blue coloured contacts; he managed to find a fellow skater to put brown eyeshadow & light touches of red lipstick on his face so his features could be seen.  

He wore a getup akin to Anna from the movie Frozen as his music choice was Vuelie, the opening to the movie. His top had a light to dark blue gradient, with a mandarin collar & poet sleeves. A gold waistband wrapped snugly around his waist, & his black trousers had some gold accents going up his pant leg as a nod to the gold patterns on Anna's boots. He had a short magenta cloth that cascaded down his left shoulder like a mini cape, pinned in place by a silver leaf cape clip on his left collar bone & linked to his top button with a silver chain.  

"Looking good, Jisung!" Ten sang as he skipped by, dressed in a black shirt & white pants with a red cloth tied around one of his belt loops. 

"Thank you. I'll see you out there," Jisung waved as he walked out the changing room.  

Out on the rink, he took in the sight of the dozens of excited skaters warming up on ice, whizzing by in their unique outfits & updos. The seats were packed with people, their cheers echoing through the stadium. Jisung removed his blade guards & stepped out on the ice to practice his individual routine. The rush of the wind was against his face as he sped down the rink, executing his jumps & spins flawlessly. He spun to a stop, almost clocking you in the face when he raised his arm.  

" Whoa Y/N! I'm sorry!" He said quickly, moving his arm.  

"It's fine, I shouldn't have come so close," you assured him. You held your head up & put your hands on your hip, posing dramatically to show off your dress. "What do you think?" 

Jisung took in your appearance—you were dressed in black from head to toe, with a black empire dress with sheer bishop sleeves; intricately sewn diamonds on your dress sparkled in the bright lights of the stadium. You had bold dark eyeshadow, & your glittering hair was brushed back into a ponytail. 

"You look very pretty," Jisung said earnestly.  

"Thank you. You look very princely yourself," you smiled, adjusting his cape straight. "Would you like a few rounds around the rink?" 

Jisung took your hand in response, & pulled you forward. You both went around the rink several times, practicing the part of the group choreography that came after the waltz. Soon the lights cut off, signifying the start of the event as all skaters got off the rink.  

  ---------------------------------------

As the piano slowed & She's the One by Robbie Williams slowly came to an end, you finished your routine with a spin, your arms hugging your shoulders; you opened them, dropping into a bow as the audience gave a round of applause. You waved, exiting quickly so the next skater could come on. Jisung waited at the side, holding out some water for you.  

"That was lovely, I liked your song!" Jisung spoke into your ear as he handed you the bottle.  

"It was what got me into skating in the first place, I wouldn't be here if not for it," you panted, taking a swig of water.  

"I should be grateful for it, then, otherwise I wouldn't have met you." 

You choked, your heartbeat picking up as heat rose in your cheeks. Jisung thumped you on the back, asking if you were okay as you coughed. You nodded. Jisung continued to pat you on the back gently until your coughing fit died down, & by that time, it was his turn.  

"All the best!" You gasped out. He nodded & left.  

You swallowed the ticklish sensation with a quick gulp of water, eager to watch Jisung's performance. Vuelie came on, filling the stadium with the powerful vocals of the Norwegian female choir, Cantus. Jisung hit his choreography hard, executing multiple turns & jumps along while bobbing his head along to the vocalisation. With a deep breath, he glided forward to perform a difficult triple Axel & quadruple toe loop combination he wouldn't dare attempt in a competition. A diapason of applause came from the audience & skaters alike, as his routine came to an end with a final sit spin. Jisung gasped for air, catching his breath as he bowed to the audience. He turned, catching sight of you clapping with all your might, your eyes lit up & shining in the fancy stadium lights. Heart racing & cheeks flushed; he made his way over to you; you held your hand out, & he grasped it as he put on his blade guards.  

"You were absolutely brilliant! Especially the triple axel & quad toe combo!" You praised, brushing some hair out of his eyes.  

Jisung flushed, mumbling a thanks. People were starting to stare as you went on holding his hand, & his blush deepened; not that it could be seen in the dim lights. You finally realized people were staring—especially focused on you holding onto Jisung's hand. You jerked away quickly, cheeks burning; Jisung's face fell, but said nothing.  

  ---------------------------------------

Gingerly, you pushed forward into a smooth glide with your peers as the music cued; the audience clapped & waved as you all opened your arms out towards them. You turned back, focusing solely on Jisung—he slid forward with the male skaters, completed his loops without a hitch & made his way to you on one knee, arms opened. You grasped his hands, & he entwined his fingers with yours as he pulled you into the closed hold. You felt delicately light, as Jisung gently swayed you to the melody & gave you a careful twirl.  

You wished the tender moment lasted a little longer, but the tempo picked up as Love Story faded into Chopin's Minute Waltz. You kept next to Jisung as all skaters began to circle the rink, performing inside & outside parallel spread eagle with their partners, spinning twice before finally breaking away to perform the skater's preferred jump choice. You struck the ice with your toe pick, propelling yourself into a triple Lutz while Jisung swept himself into a triple Axel. Jisung slid forward & set his hand around your waist, gently pulling you forward to circle the rink with the rest of the skaters once more, before gathering at the centre of the ice for a massive group hug with your peers. The audience brought the house down as they screamed & clapped; you lined up with the skaters, & dipped into a deep bow to the audience. One of your fellow skaters brought out a selfie stick & their phone, calling for everyone to gather around for a wefie. Jisung slung his arms around your shoulder, & you leaned your head on the crook of his neck, smiling widely as the photo was taken. Jisung almost fainted with joy but managed to grin for the camera.  

You hung back to wave & take photos from the audience, & a child even gave you a fat dolphin plush, much to your delight. You rubbed the child's hair, thanking him, & waved to him one last time as you made your way to the exit. You make your way backstage, adrenaline coursing through your vein as you slipped on your windbreaker, the dolphin tucked safely under your arm. You curled your fingers into a fist to warm the tips of your fingers a little—it was getting pretty cold now that you were drenched in sweat. 

"Y/N!" 

You turned to see Jisung dashing over to you, struggling to pull on his jacket while holding a large bouquet of roses & his water bottle at the same time.  

"Here let me hold that," you offered, taking his water bottle & reaching for the roses next, but Jisung shook his head. He stopped fidgeting with his jacket, & held the roses out to you. 

"W-Would you like to have dinner with me?" He stammered, very red in the face.  

"Me?" You asked in disbelief, your cheeks starting to tingle as heat rose. 

"Yeah," he nodded, hiding his face behind the bouquet. "If-if you want to, of course!"  

You gaped, mouth opening & shutting like a fish. Jisung pursed his lips, awaiting your answer.  

Finally, you found your voice. "Yes, I would love to."  

Jisung's eyes brightened, & he took his bottle from you as held out the roses to you once more. You accepted the roses, taking in how pretty the flower arrangement was.  

"This is really beautiful, thank you," you grinned, holding out your free hand to him—he closed his huge palms around yours, warming your frozen fingertips.  

"Where should we go?"  

"I'll go wherever you go." 

"Then... I know a nice place nearby. Shall we?" 

"Let's." 

Smiling uncontrollably & heart hammering in his chest, he pulled you forward gently, walking in front so you didn't have to see how incredibly red he was getting.  You were partially hiding your face in your flowers, your neck & cheeks burning & your stomach doing happy flip flops.  

You both passed Ten, who was filling up his water bottle. He eyed Jisung's red face, how you were hiding your own face, & the hand holding.  

"You two a thing now?" He smirked, raising an eyebrow suggestively.  

"NO!" You both yelled in unison, hurrying out in embarrassment.  

Ten stared after you both, blinking in confusion.   

"Kids these days," he chuckled, going back to filling his bottle. 

- 完

[sanstropfremir]

it's kingdom time for real!!! the first episode is here and mnet finally uploaded the stages from like a month ago so i can actually watch them more than once to review.

happy to see them all actually performing. not the most interesting stages overall, but it was the 100sec one-take so i wasn’t expecting anything crazy. like the performance stages, this is about what i expected at this point in the show.

ranking under the cut, i have Opinions(tm) and they are not all pretty.

(anyone that’s seeing this for the first time, i’m a trained performance designer with over 30 credits and a decade of experience, yes i can talk about this with authority)

a few general notes:

this type of stage that mnet has built is called a traverse, or alley, stage. named exactly for the reason you think. it’s characterized by a narrow playing space with audience on opposite sides, and two entrances on either end. so mnet had a pretty typical setup. there are some advantages to this type of stage:

because of the narrow stage space and usually smaller audience capacity, the performer and audience are in much closer proximity

because of the shape of the space, blocking (choreography but for not-dance) can travel well and be very dynamic

it’s uncommon outside of midsize/small productions so there’s some novelty for the casual theatre goer

however! there are some pitfalls with this type of stage. the hardest type of stage to work with is (theatre) in the round. theatre in the round is characterized by being....in the round. that means the audience is placed 360 degrees around the playing space. which means that they can see everything; every entrance, every exit, every performer’s back, 360 degree sightlines means there is nowhere to hide. and in a medium that relies on concealment to create magic, it’s a tough stage to work with. not saying it doesn’t work. some of the most incredible shows i’ve been to have been theatre in the round, but when you go to those type of shows, as an audience member you understand that there will be some scenes where you only see the actors’ backs. there is no perfect seat in the round. the reverse is true as well, the actors can only act to those in front of them. and like i stated previously, on the production end it becomes difficult to hide things like props/set/costume changes that you might have been able to in another type of theatre. why am i talking about theatre in the round? because traverse works on exactly the same principle. even though the audience is only on two sides, the same issues still arise. directionality is key: a director has to be careful of how exactly the stage gets blocked.

why am i talking about stage formats? because the space always informs the performance, that’s why. i think mnet made a sort of smart choice to build a traverse stage. since the ‘audience’ is a video camera, that eliminates the need to play to the opposing seating banks, and opens up more staging opportunities. it’s a fancy looking stage that does what they need it to. 

now here’s my gripes. if you’re going to specifically orient a stage so that it is by nature directional, why are you broadcasting in a format where direction doesn’t matter? if the camera has no fixed position, then you’ve just skipped directly into in the round staging without taking into account the function of the space. it's a round peg in a square hole; yes it fits, but you can see the spaces where it doesn’t quite match up. for a very obvious example, any shot that is not staring directly down the barrel of the stage from left or right has audience in it. and not enough to be worthy of a reaction shots (because those are just cut in in post), but enough to just be there. why would you do that when you could just.....not? just go properly in the round and then you wouldn’t have that distraction. especially when the audience is wearing white. also, there are only so many ways you can stage on a traverse, you’re pretty much limited to directional points on a compass, because there are literal risers in the way. because of the way most groups are choreographed, the member layouts lean more towards having the members in a line than they do layering the members deep. this configuration is fine on a proscenium stage (which is what most stages are), and would even be fine on a traverse stage if you were playing to the risers. you could even do some interesting choreo alterations. but! because mnet has decided that the camera is perpendicular to the risers, that means that most of the formations are not optimized for the stage dimensions and are in fact the opposite dimensions. most of these groups are doing their longest blocking across the shortest area of stage, which is dumb. although it isn't much of a problem because the stage is still very large, but it's still a bizarre choice on behalf of mnet. why would you not arrange the stage so you have more clearance for the camera, the audience, and also the performers? i would have to check back over the rtk performances, but im pretty sure at one point they switch to an in the round stage. why are you not doing that from the start? this would also allow for more built setpieces. although it does remain to be seen if they do switch after this episode, since this particular challenge was a one-take with minimal props/set pieces. which segues to my next point: these groups barely took up the parameters of the challenge, or utilized them effectively! this is also mnet’s fault, mnet if you say that you’re gonna do a one-take, don't cut between seven other cameras!! show us the power of that single point of view! let the groups actually do some interesting blocking with the path of the camera! there’s so many interesting things they could have done, but no!! had to be boring!! i know this is technically an introductory stage, but i also don't care. these groups have (relatively) competent ADs and stylists, they can think outside the box.

ok now here’s my actual rankings:

1. btob

sorry babies, none of you can match them vocally. love you ateez but you sure fucked up picking them to go after you because they blew you out of the fucking water. and everyone else, but ateez cumulatively is the weakest vocally. more on that later. like the performance stage they showcased their strengths and the experience (and training) shows. good use of the directional stage having three vs one that came together in the middle. loved the white suit variations, im especially a sucker for a belted suit jacket. loved peniel's gigantic trench and massive earrings, very mid 90s, his stylist definitely took a lesson in how to accessorize very short hair. always love good use of fog. uniform colour theme, all elements were there to support the vocals. no complaints, chef’s kiss.

2. ikon

hey baby groups? see bobby having fun? do that more. i know you think performance face is sexy and serious but none of you know how to act and you all look dead inside on stage. the lights may be on but nobody’s home. anyways. excellent beginning formation, excellent ending formation, no complicated position changes that make the camera give you motion sickness. fun choreo that they are obviously having fun performing, which goes sooooo far in the success of a performance. only group so far to use silence as an effective device, and the arrangement was interesting and suited to the song+performance. i think it was smart of them not to deploy bobby right away, although it would have been funny to watch after whatever it was that stray kids was trying to do. again, like btob and also sf9, sticking to their strengths. costumes fun and fitting, indicative of both the colour of the group and of the song. nice detail in the monochrome and the black accent details.

3. sf9

taeyang is that bitch and they only way this would have been better is if he had actually grabbed the ties of those two other members (if you think i am going to remember anyone's names other than the people i already know you are wrong). love the confidence to waste a good chunk of your 90 seconds for walking and standing in formation. actual good use of one-take directional camera, even though they ruined it once they started dancing. choreo perfectly fine, lighting good complementary colour scheme, costumes nothing to write home about, surprisingly good projection design? wasn’t expecting that. im not the biggest fan white suit jackets over black shirts but ill give it a pass for the proper suit accessorizing.

4. ateez

i applaud your dedication to the pirate gimmick but boys you don't need that anymore, i promise. hongjoong's lil bloody cough was a fun gag that didn't draw too much attention but fit with the theme. came out of the gate strong with an actual clear narrative, which can be a challenge to do in 100 seconds, and the only group to have a narrative. also actual camera choreo! that was interesting! mnet stop fucking cutting to overhead shots! apparently im destined to always be beefing with the ateez stylists because what was the point of all that? very little variation in texture or pattern on matte all black just made any relevant details disappear. torch gimmick and end formation fun, and the arrangement had an obvious climax. weird and kinda fun projection design, but not helped by concert-style stage lighting. pick one or the other lighting designer, don't make them fight like that! props to them for actually having their mics on the whole time, even though they are probably the weakest group vocally. im also going to be beefing with the choreographer because they are always making seonghwa sing while doing ridiculous moves that make him go offkey. ateez has some of the stronger 4th gen vocals, but they're at a disadvantage because a) none of them have proper vocal training, and b) their main vocal is not actually a skilled singer and is destroying his voice.not a lot of vocals for them to showcase this stage and that was probably for the best. hanya (@changdyke) is in charge of vocals critique and will have more to say about this than me, even though i am also trained. im just here to talk about the production.

5. the boyz

im neutral to positive on tbz because i did really like their danger stage from rtk. this performance is just....fine. I don’t like the arrangement, but that's mostly personal opinion. but it doesn't have a conclusive end and the whole dissonance thing isn't really working for me in this instance. the choreo is quite flippy and tricking is not necessary for an interesting choreo. i did like the throwback/use of modern choreo, i think that's a strong choice for them and it's not something that many other groups are doing, so they should stick more to that than to tricking. the camera choreo is also not good. here’s where the clearance issues and fighting against the stage layout happen! stop making a handheld do a 180! are you trying to make us motion sick? to be fair, this is not the most egregious one, but at least ateez got it right by having a person lead the camera in a particular pattern. also, what even is the theme here? leatherclad boys in the forest? nobody give me any shit saying it's based off one of their music videos or whatever, that shouldn't matter. there should be a clear theme that can be easily identified without prior knowledge of the group, especially when this is an introductory stage and they are a relatively young group. none of the other groups have this issue. that being said, at least the costumes were interesting to look at, although thematically confusing. good use of accessories, texture, and bedazzling to make the black stand out against the stage. the hands in front of the camera were kind of fun but didnt really mean anything? again, back to the lack of clear concept. i did like them reaching out to pull that member forward, it would have been better if they had just left it at that.

6. stray kids

the more i watch this the more i hate it. im not even sorry about it anymore. starters, and i will admit this upfront: i do not like most 4th gen music, so the spiderman meme groups are already operating on a deficit in my point of view. and i particularly did not like this arrangement. same as with tbz, why did it not have a conclusive end? also overuse of sound effects. and stop saying your fucking band name! the only musician that’s allowed to do that is jason derulo and thats because hes a meme now. but twice in 100 seconds? no. and what was the point of that logo/crown reveal? im tired of crown reveals we have seen them so many times by now, we don't need to see it again. was it meant to be that they were carving it into the ground?? very unclear. there was an attempt with camera choreo, and i will admit that the pan up and then back down to the ‘wolf pack’ was probably the strongest moment in the whole performance. the lights were in their mouths, by the way. however, the rest of the choreo is all over the map, quite literally. as with tbz there’s a lot of members in the group and so in order for everyone to get their screen time they break down into smaller groups, which i don't disagree with on principle, but here.........the breakdowns are just tricking, which although eyecatching, does not a very compelling or cohesive choreo make. even the unison choreo is weird, obviously its stylized horror but it just looks awkward and strange. you can make awkward/unattractive choreo work (see taemin’s want, or even move, to some extent)***, but skz doesn't have an ounce of the charisma that taemin has so it just looks awkward. also, that rapid switch between opposite sides of the stage? nausea inducing. ateez was the one with the pirate concept but skz apparently trying to make us seasick. im not gonna say anything about that rap other than it was bad, why was that allowed on stage. the sparkthrower was fun but that's like the 14th gimmick in this 100 second stage and that’s too many gimmicks. costumes are truly nothing to write home about, extremely unclear relation to the theme. if you're gonna be wolves then at least have some fur accents or something. the makeup effects were a bit over the top and not necessary in the actual performance. a hairdresser needs to thin out felix’s hair because he looks like he's wearing one of those lego hair helmets. oh, i did like that one guy’s shirt with the collarbone cutout, but again: how is that relevant to the theme? cmon people!!!! design the whole experience!! im sure there’s more i could write but holy shit this is long and im tired and also i don't want to watch this stage anymore.

ok im done. jesus this is long. again, this is just the intro stage so i suspect that some of my complaints will become null next week, but we’ll have to see! well, what i actually want to see is changmin insulting children but i’m not holding out hope for that to happen. hopefully we see some more spectacle-y stages and i can really go in.

***this is not me saying that taemin has a bad choreo that he’s making the best of. want is purposefully choreographed that way in order to showcase taemin’s ability. same with move. the point of want is that it IS awkward and should not be seductive or appealing and yet it still is. almost like....it’s in the name of the song or something.....

[navyhyuck]

here it goes a little rant:

i love resonance with my whole heart, really. but i cant help but feeling lowkey pissed with nct dynamics, like, its painfully clear that sm plays favourites here :// i know that all boys work hard and im not ignoring that, but mark and taeyong always have that center light that the others dont and that is unfair to everyone else

if you watch regular's choreo (127 ver) its easy to notice that while winwin has absolutely no lines and center time(and he never gets to dance in the front, always in the backlines, which puts hik literally as a backup dancer), mark and taeyong are always at the center or in extrategic positions so they'll shine (not even counting here the fact that they always have the center at chorus and ending/opening)

90's love was ???? i really liked the song, but they completely ignored winwin again and yangyang was really robbed from his lines too. mark had center again at a break dance(which it was great, but, i thought it could easily be given to winwin, who suprisingly is a lead dancer)

lucas and ten are in a strange position for me, like, when they are in wayv, they are pushed to center a lot of times (still, more balanced than 127), and they cover their parts well, but when it comes to superm, they get thrown to the sidelines really quick :// its like sm its just throwing them in superm to fill the spots lol. in 90's love i was really happy to see ten and haechan to have those chorus and high notes, since it gives them oportunity to shine

im still salty about johnny. like, the man spent 7 years training to sm treat him like breathes: that's enough lines from you johnny. mark, please come here again and to use him in stages just for his abs and fanservice. i really liked that he got to show his rap skills in misfit and faded in my last song, but im still pissed that they made him perform shirtless when it was freezing outside, like, sm, wtf.

idk how to feel about 7dream anymore. like, i really love mark and dreamies with my whole heart, but i always felt that 6dream had more balance than the other units in terms of center time and line distribution. if you take boom and reload era, youll see that every member got their chances to shine in vocals or performance, while they slightly pushed jaemin and jeno to fill the center part, but they never had only two members dancing the chorus in the middle(like, it always changed between jaemin, jeno, jisung and sometimes haechan). while we go up was incredible, i lowkey fear that 7dream is going to be mark-centered again, like in the early eras, and then, its going to be hell for mark considering that he already has to practice for superm, u and 127(which makes at least 2 to 3 groups which he has to double the work, considering he has a lot of center parts)

first of all, anon, i just wanna say SORRY this took me so long to respond to!! i was wondering whether i should split this up into two but decided it’s fine, so if anyone’s dash is flooded because of this, i apologize :’)

i 100% agree with you on this. i don’t know if anyone’s been following on my posts since september when nct 2020 was announced but i’ve always mentioned that it’s just not it. everyone was looking forward to a project like this, commenting on every live and making all these discussion posts and when it actually happens? members are mistreated.

i’m not going to say that markyong don’t deserve what they’re getting, but the amount of exposure that the other members get in comparison to them is basically nothing. nct 2020 was a direct reflection of sm’s favoritism towards certain members and yeah, i saw it coming.

i do think that sicheng, johnny, and yukhei get the least in sm, period. in their own subunits, in nct 2020, and for yukhei, in superm. they deserve way more than they get and johnny’s somewhat center positioning in work it reflected his talent! though i don’t think that’s nearly enough. sm generally uses both yukhei and johnny for their bodies (um, turing tbt era, i’m pretty sure yukhei mentioned showing up at the set and being told to take off his clothes??), and sicheng.

in short, sm doesn’t deserve sicheng. they don’t deserve him. they don’t get to chase after this man for years and then shun him as if he has no talent. are you kidding me??? rainbow v was a direct reflection of sicheng’s (and ten’s, but i’ll get there) talent, but that’s all we got???? i really don’t even know at this point, if i was sicheng, i would leave sm on day one for taking his talent for granted. it really pisses me off because he can’t.

yukhei and ten in superm is a joke. to be honest, superm itself is absolutely unnecessary other than the fact that sm wants to profit off the western market. yeah, we get interactions, sure, yeah we get some good music and performances, but really? it’s like they threw yukhei into superm for NO REASON, i remember watching jopping and being like ???? where is he??? because sm doesn’t want to give them equal distribution, they just want to make money. like you said, it’s like sm threw yukhei in there to fill spots. on top of this, it overworks all the members in the group, nct included.

90’s love was disappointing, no like extremely disappointing, i remember watching it and being like :/ the entire time. you know when the whole unit hyped up sicheng and said he was the leader? i really thought for once they’d give him a decent amount of screen time and an equal amount of lines but yeah! disappointed. and with yangyang too. make a wish distribution was okay, not the best but in my opinion, but i expected so much more from 90’s love. like so much more. seriously, yangyang’s lack of lines made me so mad, it’s actually ridiculous.

and with 7dream...to be honest, it’s true. dream did have really good line distribution in we boom (um, and i’m pretty sure boom is almost equal for every member) and reload, each member had really good exposure compared to earlier albums. i think we go up was okay, but generally, yeah, sm favors mark. i know people don’t like to hear it out just like that but it’s so obvious. but at the same time, the dreamies are happy to have mark back and i am too. dream isn’t really the same without mark, and i’ve never got used to seeing them without him. i just hope that dream stays equal with distribution and to be honest, i actually have some faith that they will. jaemin did get exposure in make a wish (lol...when i talk about his lack of lines too...but the ones he got are iconic) and work it, and jeno’s lines in 90’s love are there. JISUNG??? YEAH SM DOESN’T DESERVE JISUNG EITHER.

i could yell about this all day but jisung was the most hyped about nct 2020 and he shared all of his excitement with nctzens even though he’s injured and he got basically nothing in both albums. and once again, jeno? people seem to want to erase jeno’s influence in dream and nct in general because??? i don’t know, jeno didn’t get much from 90’s love either, but he did get something. i’m not impressed with sm.

okay, this was long but in general: nct leave sm rn. like NOW.

[kuratoki]

Changes 05

One week till the comeback and it’s our puppy Jeno’s birthday! My heart is so uwu...did anyone else watch their teaser? I might end up bias switching this comeback...le sigh..

Do you agree that things change in time? Well four years abroad would tell wouldn’t it?

Pairing: Reader x Jeno ft. NCT

Words: 3051

Warning: Mild swearing

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 

“So I hope you know I have to adopt you now.” Taeyong said once he had you in his arms  and you looked at your friends around you weirdly.

It had been close to a week since your first day and the boys of the NCT Dance club decided it was time to meet Jisungs best friend slash Jeno’s childhood friend. So they did what they did best and invited you to one of their club meetings where they more or less hung out, fooled around or actually talked about who was going to be performing what and when.

Things were going smoothly as far as you could tell. Yuta already knew who you were and Yukhei was keeping his distance since Jeno and Jisung were both present but that didn’t stop Taeyong, Johnny or Doyoung from attacking you.

“She’s much prettier than I thought.” Doyoung, which also happened to be Jeno’s favorite mentor and conveniently the bunny boy said, “You can see the ballerina in her.” 

‘Help me’ you mouthed to Jeno and Jisung who stayed in their respective places only to mouth back sorry, not wanting to get in the way of the older members smothering.

“I’m so glad the boys decided to surround themselves with such good influences.” Johnny said, “First Hana and now Y/N. Jisung you are one lucky guy.” 

“Wait what?” Jisung asked, mouth dropped as Jeno felt the unwanted jealousy to build once more, “She isn’t…” 

“Dude, she was friends with Jeno first. Jeno’s the lucky one.” Yuta argued as Jaemin nodded his head in agreement, “Don’t you see the two of them around school?”

“No, but I always see her and Jisung in the practice room at like six in the morning.” Ten, who was Jisungs main mentor said, “Anyone who can get Jisung into the practice room that early is a favorite of mine.” 

“Hah...I made her do six but she’s normally insistent on five.” Jisung interrupted but was ignored as the older boys continued to gush over you.

“They didn’t do this with Hana.” Jaemin whispered to the two boys, who both agreed.

“Dude, no one actually talked much about Hana before you two started dating either.” Mark, who was one of the younger ones, said coming to sit next to the trio, “Jeno hasn’t shut up about Y/N since he started at the academy and Jisung started talking about a person with the same name after a summer away. How did you two not put the pieces together?”

“They shared one braincell.” Jaemin stated and quickly turned his attention to the conversation when Jaehyun asked who was the better dancer, Jeno or Jisung.

“It’s obvious isn’t it?” you asked back from your position between Taeyong and Doyoung, “They’re both incredible dancers in their own way. Jeno has a lot of strength in his movement but can also flow when he wants to. Jisungs pro at popping a locking but also picks up choreo with a snap of his fingers. To top it all, they were the only two who qualified for regionals last year. They’re in a league of their own.” 

The room was silent once you were finished your answers and suddenly you felt Taeyong and Doyoung's arms wrapped around you in a tight hug.

“She really is our daughter. Look at her praising our sons!” Taeyong said fake crying.

“Now I see why Winwin kept her around all these years.” Yuta said joining in on the fake crying while he wrapped his arms around your neck from behind.

“She’s perfect!!” Doyoung finished as the trio continued to fake sob.

Slowly but surely, you felt the air around you get really thick.

“And suddenly I can’t breath.” you said, breaking away from the hug and bowed to the group quickly, “I have a bunch of assignments to finish so I’ll let you guys get back to whatever meeting you guys were going to have. I know I’ve met a few of you before but it was nice meeting the rest of you.” 

Grabbing your bag from the side, you quickly waved to the group, “I’ll see you guys around.” and with that, you were out the door leaving all eighteen boys to stare after you.

A few seconds later, Jeno hopped off the desk he was sitting and grabbed his bag. 

“We’re done with our meeting too right? We’ve discussed what we had to discuss and stuff?” he asked quickly as both Taeyong and Doyoung nodded their heads, “Great, then I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” and just as quickly as he hopped off the desk, he was out the door.

“So Jeno?” Ten asked Jisung who nodded as the boys slowly figured out why their national champion left in such a rush, “The way you talked about her made it seem like she was your type.” 

“Yea, but Jeno’s been in love with her longer and what best friend would I be if I got in their way?” Jisung asked as a mischievous grin made its way to his face “Plus, you should see how green he gets when she and I work on our duet together in and out of classes.” 

“You really are the evil one.” Jaemin said with a slight cringe, “How much dirt do you have on Y/N?”

“I’ve held her hair back for three summers as she puked into the lake in the middle of our end of camp party…” he started, “And I have pictures to prove it along with drunken confessions. It’s obvious the two never stopped caring for the other even after all this time apart.”

Meanwhile, you were at the entrance of the building when you heard someone call your name and you turned around to see Jeno, holding his bag strap as he ran towards you.

“Jeno? Did I forget something?” you asked curiously, tilting your head to the side in a cute manner.

“N-no.” he answered, shaking his head quickly, “We were done with our usual meeting and only those who are going to perform next week had to stay so I thought I would try to catch up with you. Do you want to grab dinner before we head home?” 

You raised your eyebrows at your friend, wondering what had gotten into him since this was the first time since you got back that he invited you to eat without the rest of the group.

“Sure.” you said with a nod, “Lead the way.” 

The two of you ended up at a restaurant you recalled going to often when you were younger and was surprised that it was still around after all these years.

“So are you going to tell me?” Jeno asked once the two of you ordered what you wanted to eat.

“Tell you? Tell you what?” you asked back as you took a sip of your tea.

“Yukhei.” Jeno said, leaning back and crossing his arm, “Jisung said he gave you a hard time during your first year of camp but he’s kept tight-lipped about the rest. Said it wasn’t his place to say.” 

“It’s not.” you agreed thankful your friend kept your promise, “Long story short, I met him through a friend before our first year at camp which I didn’t know he’d also be attending. Before he flew back for school, he confessed and I rejected him. We ran into each other at orientation and he asked me to reconsider but my answer was firm. Thinking about it now, maybe he just never took rejection well.” you said thinking about the few times you met Yukhei. 

He was someone who had the looks and knew how to use them but unfortunately, his charms never appealed to you since your mind would often drift to the person sitting in front of you. The first time you rejected him, you used the long distance excuse, Yukhei had accepted the answer at the time but the second time, he was more insistent. When you met at camp, he resorted to using third grade tactics to get your attention which also resulted in you hurting yourself. 

“Then what did Jisung mean that it was because of him that you almost never danced again?” Jeno asked once more and you inwardly winced but thankful that Jeno was far away from Yukhei at the moment. He wasn’t going to like your answer.

“I got into an accident during our first year of camp.” you started off slowly as Jeno took in a breath, “It was somewhere in the middle where all the positions for our end of summer show was decided. My group went behind my back and nominated me for air time, which meant that if anyone was going to be flipped, it was me.  Naturally, we figured that Jisung would be the one to do it since we’d been partners all summer already. Yukhei and a few of the other guys objected the idea so we held auditions and asked a counsellor to be the judge.” 

You scrunched up your nose, “Unfortunately, I never made it to the final show. Yukhei cornered me near a bunch of rocks by the shore one morning when I went for a run and he tried to make a move on me. He told me to stop playing hard to get and give in already since he was tired of playing games. When I said I would scream if he didn’t leave me alone, he grabbed my arms and the next thing I knew, I was going backwards and a sharp pain went through my leg.” 

“You have to be kidding.” Jeno said, feeling anger build inside and clenched his fist, “What happened after?”

“Apparently someone heard my scream and  Yukhei realized what happened and tried to pick me up but I wouldn’t let him touch me. The pain in my leg was so bad that I ended up blacking out. I woke up in a hospital bed and Jisung sleeping at my side. I sprained my knee so badly that they weren’t sure I’d be able to dance again since my knee wouldn’t be able to handle the pressure.” you explained, “I proved them wrong though.”

“I was gonna say...you’re doing an amazing job. I wouldn’t even have known you injured your knee if you didn’t tell me.” Jeno said, his voice laced with concern as you blushed and whispered a quiet thank you, “So I assume you had to go through physical therapy.” 

“Yea...it was intense. Because I had to do at least six months worth, I had to go to two different clinics. One in Seoul and the other one in Europe. That’s how I know Yuta, his apartment was close to the clinic so I stayed there while I recovered.” you took a sip of your tea, “I ended up going back to school a bit later than I was supposed to but given my situation, they understood and offered their full support. Jisung was with me throughout the whole process until the day I had to fly.”

Jenos brow furrowed as he tried to remember if he had heard anything about it and remembered the one year Jisung came back a bit later then everyone else. Though they had questioned it, Jisung said that something came up and Hana pretended not to know anything about it though he had overheard Jisung and Hana talking about it before. 

“And Yukhei?” he asked curiously and you shrugged, “He and WinWin seem normal at the club so I’m guessing theres no bad blood between them?”

“WinWin said he and Jisung took care of it and said nothing more. Jisung had bruised knuckles he tried to hide so I never questioned it. Yukhei came back to camp but he never associated with any of us again. WinWin is technically a leader so he has to associate with everyone equally. Doesn’t matter how he feels but he doesn’t talk to Yukhei outside of club.” you answered, 

Once the food arrived, the two of you continued to talk about you time abroad, the things you did, the place you went to and most importantly, the ballets you saw. Jeno even gifted you with his infamous eye smiles that he only reserved for certain people.  In the end, you were both happy with your stomachs filled.

“Thanks again for having dinner with me.” Jeno said as the two of you walked home side by side, “I feel like I need to blow some steam off on my punching bag from what you told me just so I don’t accidentally punch Yukhei in the face tomorrow.” 

“Thank you for inviting me.” you said smiling, a light blush across your cheeks, “And you know violence isn’t the answer. It never is.”

“Says the girl who hit Jaemin for stealing her chocolate cupcake when we were ten.” Jeno teased nudging you, “Do you...maybe want to head to our spot for a while?” 

“Sure.” you said, not ready to part ways with him just yet. You were enjoying this time with him and a small part of you felt tingly on the inside.

A little while later, the two of you were watching the sunset over the city both lost in your own thoughts.

You turned your body so you could lean your back on Jeno’s strong shoulder and felt him wrap his arm around your front. He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on the crown of your head catching you both by surprise. It didn’t feel wrong, nor did it feel right. It just felt natural, like it was meant to be.

Jeno swore to himself that he wouldn’t over think what he just did and noticed the content smile on your face. He readjusted the two of you so you were leaning more on his chest now and repositioned his arm so he could bring you closer. He grinned to himself when he heard a content sigh leave your lips and rested his head against yours. He caught a whiff of your perfume and decided it was his new favorite smell and felt himself relax. Just like the old times.

It was completely dark by the time you two decided to go home, both cherishing whatever moment you had with the other but this time, your hand was securely interlocked with his though it probably went unnoticed since you talked the whole way back. 

“I’ll see you in class tomorrow.” you said as the two of you stood in front of your gate, “Thanks again for tonight” 

“And once again, thank you for joining me. It felt nice to catch up.”Jeno said, not ready to let go of your hand yet, “Do you want to walk to school together tomorrow?”

“Jisung and I are meeting up at five in the morning to warm up and practice.” you answered with a slight frown “We haven’t even started working on our choreo yet so it’s going to be busy for the next few days. We present next Friday.”

“Then I’ll see you at five.” he said with a nod and you looked at him astonished.

“Really?” you asked and the other boy nodded. 

“Why not?” he said with a shrug, “I want to see why it takes three hours for the two of you to warm up.” 

You looked down for a moment in thought before looking back up at Jeno again, “Okay, I think we’re gonna plan to leave around five.” 

Leaning up to give Jeno a quick peck on the cheek, you turned around so you could enter your house, “See you tomorrow JenJen.” you said with a quick wave before going in and shutting the door leaving Jeno standing in front of your house. 

Jeno felt himself grinning like a silly fool, even though it was just a kiss on the cheek, it was the furthest you’d gone with him since you got back and as much as he didn’t want to overthink things, the dinner was probably the best not date he’d ever been on. 

Going back to his house, he quickly cleaned himself up before setting up several alarms knowing it would take them to wake him up on time. 

[9:45pm] Y/N♥ - PORK JISUNG!!!!

[9:45pm] MoJi - This better be important, I was just about to pass out so I can actually wake up for our practice tomorrow.

[9:47pm] Y/N♥ - Wanna come over at 4am instead….

[9:48pm] MoJi- You do realize that’s an hour earlier then we agreed to meet right…

[9:48pm] Y/N♥ - But we always spend the first hour gossiping and we won’t be able to tomorrow!! >< I’ll make you breakfast too!

[9:51pm] Y/N♥ - Jisung? Don’t tell me you passed out on me =_=

[9:55pm] MoJi - I’m getting my shit together for tomorrow and I’m getting Hana from her date with Jaemin and then we’re going to her place to get her shti. We’ll see you in fifteen max. We’re making Jaemin drive us.

[9:57pm]  Y/N♥ - Wtf? 

[9:58pm] MoJi - I refuse to wake up at 3am with four hours of sleep just so I can rush to your place and have you squeal over Lee Jeno for an hour. You have gossip, Hana and I are both qualified to listen and make fun of you for it. Just got to Hana, see you in ten

[10:00pm] Y/N♥ - What would I do without you guys...really (NOTICE MY HIGH SARCASM)

In the next house over, Jeno who was also about to doze off woke up to a text.

[10:05pm] NaNa - Yo. So like can I crash at yours tonight.

[10:07pm] JeNo - You live on the other side of town?

[10:10pm]  NaNa - Well my girls going to have a slumber party at your girls tonight and I don’t really want to have to go all the way home only to come pick her up in the morning.

[10:10pm] JeNo - BRO WTF SHE ISN’T MY GIRL...yet

[10:12pm] JeNo - But yea sure whatever. I’ll leave my door unlocked and you know where all the extra stuff is.

[10:20pm] NaNa - YET?!?! WTF LEE JENO!!!!!

[bangtanstanst]

Act Natural | 6

part one • part two • part three • part four • part five • part six • part seven

You didn’t exactly plan on dating someone you work for. But, now that it is happening, all you can do is keep it between the two of you – no matter how hard that ends up being.

≽ pairing: namjoon x reader ≽ genre: secret relationship au, fluff, some angst I GUESS ≽ warnings: none ≽ word count: 3k

a/n: hewwooo, I hope you’re doing well!♥♥♥ I’ve just been screeching over tae’s new song so fjksddfjkl ANYWAYS I hope you enjoy this fic!! It’s already the second to last part, time flies :’)

›› tag list: @dimplemono @peachesandcreamsthings @alinerl @moxxie84 (unable to tag) @sugasheart​ @sweetcrvture​; let me know if you wanna be added! ‹‹

masterlist

“You told her?” Namjoon repeats with wide eyes, parted lips. His words are loud, louder than you expected – your gaze flickers to Seokjin and Yoongi walking just in front of you, your other colleagues making their way down the narrow corridor alongside you. There’s too much noise for them to be able to hear his words, however, and you’re relieved to be heading closer and closer to the loud, booming music that’s playing on the stage you’re approaching – it sure would’ve been incredibly interesting if they heard your conversation. “Voluntarily?”

You heave a sigh, running a hand through your hair as you fix your eyes ahead of you, trying not to look too nervous. “I did,” you reply, briefly lifting your eyes to his. He’s fumbling with the sleeves of his jacket, pulling them straight before dropping his hands down to his sides, then doing it again. “But she’s known since last night and she hasn’t let anything on,” you add in a whisper, eyes flickering to a security guard who is walking particularly close to you – she seems to be busy with other things.

“How do we know she won’t slip up in the future, though?” he insists, shaking his head. You look up at him once more, noticing the faint outlines of his under-eye bags underneath his makeup. The corners of his lips are turned down, he’s frowning, his shoulders are slumping – he’s just as tired as you are.

But you know asking about it won’t help, especially not minutes before a performance. The both of you can only take solace in the fact that today is the last day of this damn work trip.

“We don’t,” you simply reply instead, shaking your head. You turn a corner and end up in the wings of the music show’s stage. It’s dark and you have to blink to adjust to the low lighting, though you don’t lose sight of Namjoon. “But I trust her.”

He heaves a sigh as he comes to a stop, turning to let you pat a last layer of powder on his face even though you already did that back in the dressing room. His eyes are averted, focused on something behind you, and his eyebrows furrowed, his lips sealed – you know he’s just thinking, but you still feel the need to explain yourself. To tell him why you’re taking this risk.

“I just –” You pause to let out a sigh, unsure if your words will reassure him at this point. “Haven’t you talked about it with Yoongi? Or Jimin, or Hoseok?”

His eyes flicker back to you and he tilts his head, his frown deepening. “Sometimes,” he replies slowly, blinking at you. A loud bass starts to boom in your ears and he has to raise his voice to make himself heard – at least you can be assured that the noise makes it impossible for his words to travel much further than two steps. “But I don’t see how that has anything to do with –”

“It feels nice, right?” you interject, your sponge patting his cheek one too many times. You keep your eyes on it nevertheless, eyebrows furrowed subtly, hoping anyone else would assume it’s simply a concentrated frown. “Talking about it with your friends? With people other than me?”

Namjoon hesitates for a second, blinking at you. You tear your eyes away from the sponge to look up at him instead, chewing on your bottom lip as you wait for him to respond.

Finally, he slowly nods – he still looks wary, his subtle frown looking almost curious.

You bite down on the inside of your cheek and let a sigh escape your lips, tilting your head. “I didn’t– I couldn’t have that with anyone.”

His confusion melts away almost instantly, his frown softening. Someone brushes past you, accidentally elbowing you in the side, but you quickly regain your balance, lowering the sponge to simply fiddle with it. “And don’t get me wrong, I love talking to you and spending time with you and all that, but… it was really getting difficult, not to be able to freely talk about us with her,” you add with a soft sigh, looking back up at him. “It felt kinda lonely sometimes.”

He sighs, nodding slowly as you lower your eyes once more. “Sorry, I should’ve known,” he mutters. The music cuts out, there’s loud cheering that follows. Someone shouts a vague sentence from a few feet away – they’re almost up.

“It’s fine,” you reply, lifting your head to send him a smile. A staff member comes up behind him to check his mic and you clear your throat, taking a step back.

“I’ll make it up to you when we’re back home.” His hand moves up to reach out – his eyes flicker to the staff member still messing with his microphone and he changes his mind, scratching the back of his neck instead. “And I really am sorry,” he adds, sending you a small, hopeful smile.

You return the sentiment, nodding at him rather than shouting the reply. His smile widens nevertheless and he soon lets himself be ushered off, joining the others to take his position on the stage. You step back to free up the path for the background dancers, and you look down at your feet as you let out a slow breath – it might not have been the best moment ever to break the news to him, but you’re glad you’ve gotten it over with.

“How did he take it?”

Your head jolts up once more and you look aside to see Yari come to a stop next to you, leaning against the wall behind you. “Pretty well, I guess,” you reply, heaving a sigh as a deep bass starts to drum through you, the members’ voices ringing in your ears, the audience’s screams almost deafening.

You both ignore it, however, and Yari simply beams at you. “That’s great, right?”

A smile curls at your lips and you nod – her cheerfulness is contagious. “Yeah, so get ready for me to kick you out of the apartment in the middle of the night,” you shoot back, raising an eyebrow at her

She scoffs, elbowing you in the side. “I’m not gonna go on a midnight walk just because you wanna do it at our place,” she shoots back, smirking at you. You purse your lips, laughing into your hand as you elbow her side, feeling your cheeks flush. “Don’t worry, I’ll just cover my ears.”

You’d think that you’d want to get some sleep after a work trip like the one you had. You’d think, indeed. But only a day later, Namjoon texts you out of your apartment for a ‘surprise date’ and you somehow end up walking around in your sweats in the outskirts of the city in the middle of the night. Yes, you have work again in the morning, and yes, you are both wasting precious hours of sleep, but you were still awake anyway. Might as well make the most of it.

Gravel crunches underneath your sneakers as you slowly walk through a deserted park, stretching your legs after sitting in the back row of an empty movie theatre for almost two hours. The tree branches intertwine up above you to form a canopy of leaves, letting through only small stripes of moonlight here and there. Nevertheless, the street lanterns that line the path illuminate your surroundings just enough so you don’t trip over anything.

“So then I just kind of hit my head on the keyboard and came up with the melody that way,” Namjoon finishes, bright chuckles spilling from his lips.

You’re covering your mouth with the milkshake in your hand as you laugh, swinging your intertwined hands back and forth as you walk. “See, that’s how you know you’re a real pro,” you say, barely holding back more laughter as you sip through the straw. “Once you make a song through that method, you can just pretty much do anything.”

Namjoon laughs, eyes flickering up to the leaves above your head, to the stars visible in the gaps between them. “If only.”

You raise an eyebrow at him, taking another sip of milkshake. “You sound like you’re at your wits’ end,” you tease, a smile tugging at your lips.

He laughs and looks down at you, raising an eyebrow. “What, you wouldn’t want to be able to do everything?”

With a grin, you shrug. “Of course I would,” you reply, swishing your milkshake around in your cup as he takes a sip from his own drink. “I’d learn all the languages in the world and do fun things and get all the sleep I wanted, and spend way more time with you, all the while keeping up with this job.”

He chuckles, falling silent for a moment. A lone car drives past the trees that line the outside of the park, its engine fading away as quickly as it started. “Yeah, sounds pretty cool,” he says softly, his grip around your hand growing just a little tighter.

“So what would you do?” you ask, glancing up at him as you turn around a bend and the exit of the park comes into sight. The streets beyond it are already visible and you have to suppress a disappointed sigh, realising it’s almost time to go home.

He looks aside at you and grins. “Well, first thing would be to be your boyfriend anywhere I like,” he starts, tilting his head at you. Moonlight breaks through the canopy of leaves up above you and shimmers in his eyes – you let out a short breath, feeling your heart skip a beat and a smile teasing over your lips. “And secondly, it would be to just know the whole choreo after one run-through.”

You let out a laugh, shaking your head. “Way too obvious,” you decide. “Everyone would figure out your secret like that,” you add, raising your hand to snap your fingers and realising you’re holding a cup, so you simply take a sip to mask it.

“Who says I’d keep it a secret?” he shoots back, raising an eyebrow at you as he takes the straw of his drink between his lips and sucks it.

With a laugh, you shrug, continuing to put one foot in front of the other and making the gravel underneath your soles crunch. “Yeah, I guess it’s better to just get it out right away. We’re not the best at keeping secrets in any case, so…”

“Hey, I’ll have you know that I’m –” he starts, though he quickly interrupts himself and hums thoughtfully, taking another sip of his milkshake. “Right, I guess so,” he says after a moment of silence, though he’s smiling as he speaks. “At least we’re bad at keeping secrets together.”

You can’t suppress the laugh that bubbles in your throat as you exit the park, leaving the peace and quiet behind to walk over to your car. “No comment,” you simply tell him, at which he snorts.

“Hmmm, of course,” he says, loudly slurping the last of his milkshake out of his cup and making you laugh once more.

You come to a reluctant stop at your car, letting go of Namjoon’s hand to dig your car keys out of your pocket. You stare down at them as your fingers start to fidget – you’d rather put them right back into your pocket, grab Namjoon’s hand and pull him back into the park for another walk, though you know you’re already way past the time you said you’d go home and –

“You know, if I could do anything,” Namjoon starts softly, making you jolt out of your thoughts as he takes a step closer. Your head snaps up to look at him – your nose almost brushes his chin, your eyes wide in surprise. “I’d make this night last a lot longer,” he adds, smiling at you as he gently brushes a strand of hair out of your face.

His eyes are still twinkling even in these dull yellow street lanterns, and you can help but smile back. “Yeah, me too,” you reply through a sigh, standing up on your tiptoes to kiss him, just briefly – but even so, you relax into it, his warm touch doing more than enough to melt your tension away. “But on that note,” you mutter as you pull away, eyes fluttering back open. Namjoon’s eyes are still closed and he’s smiling – your heart leaps at the sight and almost pull him back in for another kiss. “Let’s go the hell home.”

He hums, leaning back in to capture your lips with his himself. His embrace is warm, his arms wrapping tightly around your waist as you run your fingers through his hair. You melt into him so easily – it feels as natural and warm and comfortable as crawling into bed after a long day. His nose brushes your cheek, his eyelashes tickle your skin, and you ignore the sound of another car driving past in the background, simply tightening your arms around him, your grip tightening around your car keys–

Your car beeps loudly and you jolt apart, wincing at the sudden interruption – you’ve accidentally pressed the button on your keys to unlock it. Letting out a sigh, you lean back against your car and purse your lips, a small smile breaking out. “We should really go home,” you say softly as you look up at him, your cheeks flushing.

He chuckles, nodding just before he presses another kiss to your cheek. “Yeah.”

You’re grinning as he walks around the car, slipping into the passenger’s seat as you sit down behind the wheel, the both of you buckling your seatbelts in silence. With a sigh, Namjoon leans back while you start the car, and you see his eyes fluttering closed as you drive out of your parking spot.

“Told you we should’ve waited a week first,” you mutter with a pout, focusing your gaze on the road ahead, on trying to keep your eyes open as you navigate the city streets.

“No, no, I’m just… resting my eyes,” he replies, smiling as he lets out a slow breath. “They’re exhausted from looking at your beauty all night.”

You snort loudly. “Wow, smooth,” you remark through a laugh, looking left and right before you drive across an intersection. “What corner of the internet did you get that from?”

He keeps his eyes closed as his head lolls to the side, though the smile teased over his lips remains. “Came up with it all by myself,” he replies, eyes fluttering open so he can look at you with that adorable lazy grin on his face – though his face quickly lights up and he digs into his pocket, pulling out his phone. “I should write that down, actually.”

You laugh, turning a corner and already seeing Namjoon’s tall apartment building looming up ahead. “I’m glad you can still get inspired with all this sleep deprivation going on.”

He grins at you, looking up at you from underneath his eyelashes. “Half my work happens while sleep-deprived, babe,” he replies, focusing on his phone as he types. “It’s really a wonderful thing.”

With a snort, you look into your mirrors before pulling over, just a block away from the entrance to his building. “Yeah, sounds absolutely wonderful,” you remark sarcastically, turning the key in the ignition to switch off the engine – and the car falls silent. “Now get the hell to bed before you get too sleep-deprived to do anything,” you add, reaching out to poke his dimple.

He laughs, slipping his phone into his pocket – but he doesn’t make a move to get out of the car. Instead, his smile slowly widens and he sits up – “Hey, I have an idea.”

You raise your eyebrows, trying to scan his face in an attempt to predict how bad this idea actually is. “Why do I feel like this is one of those ideas we shouldn’t even be talking about?” you reply slowly, though you can’t help the small smile tugging at your lips.

“Because it’s risky and fun,” he replies, leaning just a tiny bit closer. You nod slowly, narrowing your eyes as you wait for him to continue. “I’ll sneak you up there so we can make this night a little longer.”

Oh god. You breathe out a laugh and start to shake your head, though he’s quick to lean forward and press a kiss to your cheek. You let out a sigh, subconsciously leaning into his touch as your eyes flutter closed – he knows exactly how to tempt you. And you’re much too weak to resist any of it this late at night.

“We’re already here anyway,” he adds when you still don’t respond, and you laugh once more. He kind of has a point. Maybe. You’d make the counter-offer to go back to your place instead, but you wouldn’t want to wake up Yari, and you’re sure people would get suspicious if Namjoon stayed away all night. “We’ve done it before, everyone is already asleep anyway…”

Letting out a slow breath, you look down at your hands. “I need sleep, Joon,” you reply slowly, glancing up at him and shaking your head once more. “I don’t want to accidentally poke you in the eye because I’m too sleepy tomorrow.”

“We’ll make sure you get back home on time, Cinderella,” he mutters, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “Promise.”

You chuckle, squeezing your eyes shut. This is a mistake, such a big mistake. Just because it’s gone right the three times you’ve done this, doesn’t mean it’s not a big fucking mistake.

“Alright,” you relent nevertheless, biting your bottom lip in an attempt to keep your smile at bay. “But I’m not leaving my shoes at the door like last time.”

The only problem you don’t quite remember, though, is that despite all the plans you can come up with to get you back out of the apartment and home, it’s really quite easy to fall asleep in Namjoon’s arms – even if you’re at his place, in his bedroom, with an unlockable door.

Even if it really would’ve been so much safer to go back to your place instead.

prev • next

a/n: thank you so much for reading, I hope you liked it!! Let me know what you think and what you think/hope/fear is gonna happen in the next (and last) part👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 I hope you have a wonderful day/night!!♥♥♥

masterlist

[fmdkangjin]

                  famedkrp idol hc meme 〔 accepting 〕

○ for a training headcanon ↴  〔 228w 〕

kangjin especially struggled with his expressive delivery while performing through his initial years training with mars. his coaches weren’t happy with his vocal tone of delivery and how it matched through compared to his expression. to be polite, they thought he looked bland. sometimes neutral expressions can work for an idol, but his focus on dancing and delivery within his time as a trainee he was repeatedly failing to nail the ‘emotion’ of a song. for title tracks it didn’t always make the difference but during their b-sides and for long sets he looked repetitive and robotic. it was a long time struggle for kangjin and a lot of training. he would watch himself back starting with dancing, using the mirrored practice room, practicing making the right expressions during choreography, since dancing is the thing as an idol that came easiest to him. matching it while lip syncing was the next step in his process though that took much longer, longer than expected even. it took his entire time as a trainee to find a place he and his team were comfortable with for his performance. to find his ‘stage presence’ or ‘persona’ as an idol. he’s become adept at forced smiles, though he doesn’t have explosive delivery especially during moments of vocal/rap delivery, he’s come a long way from where he began through hard work and dedication.

♥ for a headcanon about something my muse likes about being an idol  ↴   〔 216w 〕

ok well see, kangjin doesn’t particularly like anything about being an idol. if he could run away to the country side and take back his whole decision and instead be a no name, no money dancer he would. but i would say if he enjoys or appreciates anything about being an idol it’s the choreo and dance. he really does find a happy place in dancing. the time he spends just grinding dance in front of the mirrors in the dimensions training rooms until he can barely stand anymore is a strangely peaceful mood and he always leaves for the showers and late night snack afterwards exhausted but incredibly satisfied. i think because he can pretend he’s just a dancer living a simple life, preparing for a set or a stage performance without all the extra humdrum that being an idol offers. so definitely the fact that he gets to dance in front of the world, on a stage that is as big as his love for dance is, that’s probably the only thing he really likes about being an idol. i think without the choreography to dig him out of his depression and anxiety during trainee years and into their rookie years, kangjin would be in a much worse place than he is right now.

☛  for a public image headcanon  ↴   〔 253w 〕

there’s a real disengage with who kangjin is as a person outside of his work persona and every single year, as he becomes a better and better idol (a more ‘perfect’ idol who has his persona mask more effortlessly in place) it becomes more and more obvious. kangjin as a public person, or rather ig the way he seems, is a usually smiling, somewhat quiet but always present person. he tends to stand himself in the middle of his group members and never turns away the mic when it’s handed to him. he dances on command and does basically everything told of him in a way that seems natural and instantaneous. he’s learned over the years to move on command and do what he’s told without thinking about it. in fact kangjin is never embarrassed about ‘doing his job’ which let’s be honest is what he considers his image with the public. his idol public image is a lot more outgoing than he is in reality? a lot more of a go-getter, a lot more likely to smile and take challenges head on. he’s so conscious of the way he comes across to cameras and watching eyes, it’s a little unhealthy how aware of himself and others he is. there’s just become this big gap between who he really is and what people see him behaving like in public. it’s for sure that his members and close friends have noticed the most, but after growing closer to him anyone can see it.

♠ for misconceptions fans or the public have about my muse  ↴   〔 272w 〕

it’s tricky here because basically his whole public persona is a misconception by design lol. but i think that’s also the answer here? fans generally tend to perceive him as competitive (to a fault), outgoing and frequently smiling kind of man who can take every challenge he faces head on. in fact, he’s developed that impression of himself to such a fine tuned degree that when he lets it slip, fans take notice instantly. oh, kangjin isn’t smiling today i wonder if something’s wrong? kangjin looks exhausted today, dimensions must be overworking him. or during fan signs when they meet him face to face and he’s even a little more reserved than he seems on stage or from afar it becomes this noteworthy thing or sometimes it becomes a matter of them thinking he’s not doing well? when in reality, that’s just him being more himself than usual. honestly it’s a really harmful cycle because it leads him to keeping his mask up higher and higher, and in some ways he feels like he can no longer relax as long as there’s cameras. he can be relaxing and doing his own thing in a waiting room but a camera crew walks in and he can’t even behave like he wants. like a jack in the box he straightens his spine and smiles and puts on a show and in no way does that feel sustainable to him. he’s exhausted? but he’s got this idea of who he ‘has to be’ that he can’t seem to escape. it creates so many misconceptions for fans when they catch glimpses of who he really is.

♞ for a non-performance talent headcanon  ↴   〔 243w 〕

piano definitely. he’s exceptionally good at piano. it’s a talent he cultivated for many years in his youth thanks to his father pushing him into lessons for basically anything and everything. but the paino in particular he got the hang of and still uses as a skill to this day. he can still play guitar for instance, but he’s pretty rusty, and he can only play what he reads from music sheets or remember strings, he can’t freestyle, and he isn’t really ‘good’ at it. but paino he can not only read keys he can improvise if he wants to, plus sometimes he still plays the keys when he can’t sleep. i know for a fact kangjin wouldn’t call this a ‘talent’ in that word exactly, he doesn’t think he’s good enough, but he does know how to play. he can sit at a stool and probably rock someones socks off with his playing but he would just squeeze the back of his neck and laugh awkwardly if he was told it was ‘a talent’ lol. if he wanted to, or had any interest in it for that matter, he could probably use his talent with keys to compose music, and he could post covers to his twitter, but as it is it’s a talent that the average fan probably doesn’t know? maybe the actual kangjin stans who actually pay attention to his vlives has seen him mention it quietly once or twice.

[joonshadow]

"i'm not straight"

being in the closet isnt that much fun

or

namjoon comes out to the other members after hiding for so long.

/namjoon-centric fluff/

namjoon knew he wasn't straight for quite a while now but never told anyone, neither his family or his members. not because he wasn't sure about it, heck no, he knows for a hundred percent.

but coming out to yourself is really hard and coming out to everyone else in your life is even harder sometimes.

the leader always is open and accepting, never judging anyone. he has some not straight friends and loves them so much, couraging them to be open and happy. but being not straight himself is a bit different.

first, he could never be open about his sexuality to the whole world. its just the sad truth that an idol isn't supposed to be gay, they should be "normal" and appealing to their fans, who are mostly female.

which leads to the second reason; the hate.

as the leader of the group its his job to hold the members together and look after them. if he came out as gay, the media would go crazy and not just attack joon, but probably the whole group with hate and drama.

so no, being out and about isn't really an option for him. but for a while now he thought about telling his little "secret" to his members, his best friends who are like a second family for the boy.

-

turns out that trying to come out is nerve wracking as fuck.

all seven boys are cuddled up on the couch, watching a movie yoongi choose called "love simon" and eating popcorn.

namjoon is squished inbetween jungkook and hoseok, the youngest laying his head down on joons lap while his head is on hoseoks shoulders.

namjoons hands are sweaty, his heart is bumping hard in his chest and his throat is dry as hell. the blonde boy kept thinking over and over how he should say it but everytime he wants to say it out loud, he gets too scared.

its weird because he knows he will receive nothing but love and support from his friends, so he doesnt know why its so scary to actually tell them.

probably because his whole life, it was his little secret just for himself that no one else knew. so telling it someone else who obviously isnt him, is scaring the hell out of him.

and the time passes, the movie almost over and jungkook asleep on his thighs.

the first one to speak up wasnt namjoon, it was taehyung.

"i love this movie, its awesome. the two boys are so cute together!", the blue haired boy said with a sleepy voice and smiled at the other members, everyone agreeing with him instantly.

which makes joon incredibly happy. he doesn't know if its just something he feels or if its common among lgbt people, but everytime someone whos important to him says something accepting or nice about the community, his heart secretly bursts full of happiness in his chest.

"its late, we should sleep.", hoseok mumbled while carefully standing up, trying not to wake the youngest member up.

"youre right, hyung. do we have any schedules tomorrow?", asked jimin, who also was almost asleep next to jungkook.

seokjin told them all that they dont have anything planned for the next week since promotions are over and their tour starts in three weeks. everyone smiled because that means they would all be able to sleep as long as they want tomorrow.

namjoon brought some blankets from his room for jungkook who will sleep on the couch today because everyone is too tired and lazy to wake the youngest up and bring him to bed.

he carefully put them over him and tucked the sleeping boy in, kissing his head before turning off the tv and going out of the living room as quiet as possible.

seokjin and hoseok already dissapeared in their rooms, tired from practising their newest choreo all day long, while jimin and taehyung were in the bathroom and getting ready for bed.

namjoon did the same, telling the younger ones to sleep well and not to stay up too late before going to his room as well.

yoongi was his roommate, the two rappers sharing their room for quiet a while now.

the older boy was already in his bed when namjoon came in and crawled into his bed after changing into his pyjamas.

namjoon thought he was already asleep so he tried his best to be quiet and not make any noise to disturb the other. he almost fell asleep too before he heard some footsteps coming near his bed, his big blanket being held up and yoongi going under them.

it wasnt surprising since the two of them cuddle almost every night. but namjoon still got surprised as yoongi began to talk in a soft, calm voice.

"whats wrong, joon? i know somethings on your mind. you can talk to me, you know?"

is he that obvious? okay maybe he is a little bit tense lately, trying so hard to act normal but at the same time trying to find a good moment to tell his members about his sexuality.

after the movie was over today, he was kinda pissed at himself because he wasted such a good opportunity to tell them.

"i dont know what you mean, hyung. im just like always?"

yoongi sighed but besides that he just stayed silent. he softly caressed joons hair and waited for the younger boy to speak up when he is comfortable with doing so.

namjoons heart started to pound faster and he felt his hands getting sweaty again. maybe this was better than telling it everyone at once.

so he took a deep breath, tried to get his shit together and with a voice that yoongi almost wasnt able to hear, he finally said it out loud.

"im gay."

namjoon couldnt see yoongis reaction, wasnt able to read his face because it was pitch dark in their room and his back was turned towards the older one.

he started to breath faster, anxiety rising up in him because yoongi didnt say anything and for a second namjoon thought that he will hate him now.

but all his fears went away as yoongi wrapped his arms around namjoons waist and pulled him a little bit closer, giving him a soft kiss on his shoulder and smiled against his neck.

"hyung?"

"what?"

"arent you gonna say anything?"

"what should i say, joon? its no big deal,

i still love you. youre still the same person as before, you know?"

namjoon fell asleep a few minutes later with the biggest smile on his face.

-

"so for how long have you known?"

yoongi decided the morning after that just the two of them should sit together and talk a little bit. namjoon was more than okay with that which resulted in them sitting on yoongis bed, both with a cup of tea and surrounded by soft blankets and pillows.

namjoon told him everything, about how he found out and if he ever had a boyfriend, to which he sadly answered with a no.

"i dont know if anyone would every truly love me for who i am, you know what i mean?", namjoon said and looked down at his cup.

yoongi looked at the other boy and smiled softly, hitting his shoulder playfully.

"i bet youll find the perfect boy soon, joonie. dont worry too much about it."

-

this same afternoon namjoon decided that he should tell the other members too. it was unfair to just tell it yoongi and keep this big secret from everyone else.

its kinda hard to plan this kind of stuff since he is the type of person to back out on the last second. but after feeling so relieved from telling yoongi about his sexuality, he figured it wont be that bad to tell the others as well.

he went to seokjins and hoseoks room, knocking on the door twice and letting himself in after hearing a tired "yes?" from the inside.

there they were, sitting on their comfortable beds while probably scrolling through social media and stalking fan accounts. neither of them looked up, too concentrated on their phones and whats going on on the internet.

"hyung?"

both of them looked up after they heard namjoons quiet voice filled with anxiety, instantly putting away their phones and just focusing on him which, to be honest, didnt make this any easier.

"whats wrong, joon?", hoseok asks curious while standing up, taking his hand and pulling him over to seokjins bed.

hoseok sat right next to jin, which meant that namjoon is right in front of the two older boys.

nervously he was fiddling with his hands, taking a deep breath and thinking about what yoongi told him.

its no big deal,

youre still the same person as before

"i have something to say that i feel like you two should know, okay? its nothing big, at least thats what yoongi hyung says, but i just wanted you guys to kno-"

"are you gay or what?", hoseok said while letting out a small giggle, stopping the moment he saw namjoons surprised face.

"wait, youre really gay. holy shit, im sorry namjoon, i didnt mean to-"

"oh shut up hoseok, dont make this even more embarassing for yourself.", seokjin insisted and then just focused on namjoon, who was just hella surprised and a little bit shocked to be honest.

"yeah, im actually gay. thanks for ruining my big surprise", namjoon joked and smiled at hoseok, who still feels kinda bad and tightly holds joons hands in his.

the two older boys gave namjoon a big hug, telling him that theyll love and support him no matter what and reminded namjoon that theyre always here if he needs someone to talk to.

everything they said means a lot to joon and he is so happy to hear it, especially from the oldest member in the group. the two were always really close with each other so to know that seokjin still loves him just the way he is, means a lot.

-

"hyung?"

namjoon looked up from the pot with boiling hot water in it, making pasta for everyone or at least trying to. taehyung came into the kitchen and just silently started to cut the vegetables that joon already put out for cooking.

"whats up, tae?", joon asked while taking out spices from the cabin, tasting the sauce for the noodles before adding some more salt and pepper. hes not the best cook but still able to make simple pasta with tomato sauce without making everyone sick or burning down the kitchen.

taehyung put away the knife for cutting the veggies, puts his hands on joons shoulders and turns him around so that the two boys are facing each other.

"uh, taehyung? what are you doing?"

the younger one just hugged joon tight and buried his face in the taller ones neck, pulling him close. to say that namjoon was a little bit confused was an understatement.

taehyung began to speak quietly with a shy, almost embarassed voice against joons soft skin.

"i heard you, hobi hyung and jin hyung talk in their rooms. i shouldnt have listened, but i was so curious about what you guys were talking about. im so sorry, hyung."

he was a little bit confused but understood after a second whats going on.

"so you know?"

the blue haired boy nodded quickly and promised namjoon that he doesnt mind it at all and that hes still the best leader of the whole world to which namjoon just responded with a soft "thank you", a big smile and an even bigger hug.

-

the day is almost over, no one really did anything besides sleeping and eating all day long. days like these are much needed after stressful promotions and exhausting award shows.

the boys ate joons pasta for dinner, complimenting him on his "amazing" cooking skills and after that they all just dissapear in their rooms or somewhere else in the house.

it was already dark outside as namjoon sat down on their big couch, pulling his phone out and scrolling trough social media.

most of the fans dont know but all of the members love to look at all the different fan accounts and see what they say about their group. its fun.

around five minutes later he got a message from jimin.

jimin: hyung

jimin: do you want to watch a movie

jimin: just jungkook, yoongi and me

namjoon: sure

after hitting send, he made his way to jimins room, already hearing their voices and the tv playing in the background. he just went in there without knocking and got greeted by the sight of jimin making little ponytails with yoongis grey hair and jungkook eating leftover pasta from dinner.

"wow, looks like you guys are having a lot of fun without me", namjoon said laughing and just laid down on the bed next to jungkook.

"its boring just with yoongi hyung, most of the time he falls asleep during the movie and thats-"

"oh shut up, its not my fault that the movies you guys choose are always so boring."

both of them laughed after yoongi jokingly hit jimins arm, which hurt not even a little bit since he isnt really the strongest.

"what movie are we even watching today?"

"probably a bad love movie which jimin found on netflix after feeling lonely and sad again"

the next second jimin just deadass jumped on jungkook and both of them tried to push the other one down on the bed. jimin gave up a bit after since its unfair because jungkook is "way stronger and hes tickling him which is fucking unfair".

namjoon just laughs and sits a little bit closer to yoongi, the older one putting his arm around joons shoulders and pulling him even closer.

"guys, come on now. if you dont want me to fall asleep during the movie, we should start now and not just in a few hours when you two decided to calm down.", yoongi murmured kinda annoyed, he would probably rather be in his bed now.

after a few minutes the movie was playing on the big tv screen and all four of them cuddled up on jungkooks big bed.

namjoon couldnt hold back a small giggle after seeing that jimin chose 'titanic' and hearing yoongi and jungkooks annoyed sigh.

to be honest, it was actually really nice. a few minutes after the movie started, taehyung decided to join them too and just snuggled between jungkook and jimin.

yoongi couldnt hold back and after a while he was softly snoring on namjoons lap with messy hair and parted lips.

the younger one of the two just caresses the older ones hair, loving the way it feels between his fingers.

"did hyung fall asleep again?", jimin asked with not even a little bit of surprise in his voice.

namjoon just nodded without saying anything, he didnt want to wake up yoongi and taehyung, whos also sleeping in jungkooks arms.

maybe now is the right time to tell them too since they are the last ones who dont know about joons little secret yet. jimin is still looking at namjoon with sleepy eyes, smiling a bit.

"jimin, jungkook, i have to tell you guys something", namjoon whispered as quiet as possible, hoping the younger boys would understand him anyways since he would rather not say it twice.

"what is it?", asks jimin, now wide awake and looking at namjoon full of curiosity.

from jungkook he just heard a tired "hm?".

"im gay", he whispers softly.

he honestly expected to be more calm now considering he came out to so many people in such a short time. but hes still nervous, his heart beating fast and waiting for a reaction he already knows will be the same as all the others before.

"not surprising, hyung"

wait, what? namjoon was confused.

"what do you mean, jungkook?"

jimin just giggles and shrugs his shoulders. jungkook told him that it isnt really that big of a surprise since hes not that stupid and knows his hyungs well. namjoon wanted him to be a little bit more clear, so he explained why he always kinda knew that joonie isnt that hetero.

"you never had a girlfriend and neither do you really talk about girls the way, for example jimin, does. and since there were never any signs that youre straight, i just assumed you arent."

namjoon just laughs and sarcastically congrats jungkook on his smart brain and his skill on finding out peoples sexuality. jimin joins in too and after a bit they all just cant stop laughing.

both, taehyung and yoongi woke up from the noise, confused and tired.

"whats going on?", yoongi said so quiet that namjoon and the others almost didnt notice.

"namjoon hyung likes boys!"

after that, the three boys just started to laugh even harder, not even knowing whats so funny about the whole situation.

but theres one thing namjoon knows for sure.

and that is that hes genuinely happy right now, feeling so good after knowing that he doesnt have to hide anymore and that hes so so loved.

--------

you can find my other stories on wattpad @ smolouis

please leave feedback!!

[zpetra]

ROI in Malaga 2018 Journal

To be able to tell the whole story of how I actually got to go to ROI, we have to go back a little to May. I was sitting home due to a public holiday and somehow a promo popped up on Instagram about ROI and I just checked out the dates / information. For the end of the year I had some holidays planned at least in days. No exact details yet as in October I wanted to see a concert (didn’t get tickets but went for a small Spain trip - Barcelona, Seville, Madrid) and the fact about GP assignments was still in the air. 

For some reason I just checked the dates and settled on the 17th of November in Malaga. I had one of those “fuck it” moments and bought my ticket. Got a flight for a good price, hotel stay for a night close to the stadium was also quickly found. So in a mere few hours of planning, it was settled.

I would see Javier Fernandez in Malaga. I was excited and so happy about it.

Fast-forward a little bit to GP assignments as I have to mention it. When it was known Yuzuru Hanyu would be going to Helsinki and Moscow I was in a slight dilemma as ROI was the same weekend as that. Unfortunately any other date or location was impossible for me regarding ROI, as I had other plans. I aimed for Helsinki (which we know happened and my journal about it can be found 1 - 2 - 3 here). In the end I am also happy that I wasn’t in Russia... it was hard enough already. I stayed with my plan and bookings for Malaga and I have no regrets in that case.

Saturday - 17th of November

Saturday morning I set off to the airport bright (cold) and early as public transportation sucks for me at the moment and I have to take quite some detours. Anyhow I arrived, got myself some hot chocolate with coffee...only to hear the news falling in. While I am not happy to mention Yuzuru in this Journal, it was part of my weekend and it influenced my overall mood as well. So please forgive me for doing the bad thing and speaking about Javi but for this particular case for me they were intertwined with each other.

Start my day with a delayed flight while my arrival time was already conflicting with the free skate and given the info before my flight about Yuzu fall my anxiety was peaking. Lufthansa sucks with arriving on time especially in Spain it seems and we barely landed and I got out of the plane when it was Yuzus turn. I didn’t even had the time to process I am in Malaga and going to see Javi in a few hours. I watched in the middle of the airport, not even making it to my friend on time who was waiting for me near the exit. It was probably the worst 4 minutes of my life... I do not want to go into detail but it was hard. Once the scores were calculated I hurried to my friend so we can watch the rest together and wait for the final results. Happiness flooded me that Yuzuru won regardless of a not so perfect skate but impressive for a completely changed layout and obvious struggle... little did we know.

We found our bus to the city and we joked about the whole thing, giddy and happy. Nearly missing our bus-stop to the hotel XD but someone wanted to get off at the same station and my fried spotted the hotel, so we managed to do some involuntarily sightseeing. We got to our hotel, checked in and said to meet after a quick shower... I barely got out when the information flooded my Twitter. Yuzuru Hanyu is injured, he skated on painkillers. All my happiness was gone and it was difficult for me because in about 5 hours I was meant to participate in one of the most amazing shows of my life but I felt gloomy.

Cue us going to Burger King and stuffing ourselves with junk food, unable to talk about anything else. I felt so guilty, still do because none of our moods were really in for Revolution on Ice and that was wrong. So damn wrong. Javi deserved better from us, not us thinking of Yuzu or me going on a rant about this but it is the truth. I have failed him in that sense. I am sorry.

Somehow we fixed ourselves enough to leave and after some confusion at the venue we found our seats, or knew were to go. Spent some time together until it was best to take our seats. My friend and I, we didn’t sit together so yeah. I had a second row seat on the long side. 

I WAS SO CLOSE!

Revolution on Ice - the show

There was a bit of a delay with the start due to people not getting to their places on time and waiting, which I found really nice of the organization to do as others would just start and not care. One issue I had was that literally everything was said in Spanish and “No abla espanol” here, or very little...so I was struggling. XD

I will get this out there right from the start... I found it a bit weird that during any kind of group number, Plush was never part of it, he had his two individual performances and joined the finale once the performance itself was finished, only fooling around on the ice happened. Additionally I had a feeling that at the end he kind of took the spotlight from Javier, maybe because the audience knew him better but in that sense I felt a lack of appreciation for Javier, both from the audience and maybe a bit of Plush, lingering center ice while Javier already retreated. Maybe it was also because Javier himself left the others have their moment of shine, I will never know but somewhat I felt Plush was hyped more and I didn’t like that considering it was Javiers show. The overall impression left me a bit negative in that sense.

Anyway back to the beginning... I had my seat in the second row, quite in the middle of the long side, opposite to the where the DJ was. The seat was incredible and luckily someone short sat in front of me and I could actually see XD. YAY.

There was a really nice opening with most cast to start with the show, I really like it as everyone had their individual moment to shine as well as skate in choreo together. I truly appreciated too that generally most of the songs were Spanish, barely anything else, I think overall 4 songs were in English? And some jamming music at the end but rest was Spanish. We also had the live performance of Eva Ruiz ( 2 songs, one with the synchronous group and one with Yuka Sato ), we had also Diana Navarro who had two songs as well, one was with the Annette Dyrty/Jannick Bonheur the other with Anna Cappelini/Luca Lanotte. Diana sings amazing, I swear to god it sounded like playback music and it wasn’t. During Anna/Luca performance I didn’t even realize she was on the small stage on my left because it sounded like playback music. She is good. I really enjoyed it. And the performances matched the music as well. Anna is gorgeous, I saw her so close and she is beautiful. I think I will just make comments for everyone I saw otherwise I get confused and I am not that good at recalling what happened after each other LOL.

Evgeni Plushenko: He had two performances, one song I didn’t recognize actually, I was also happy not to see Nijinsky due to what happened a few hours before and I probably wouldn’t have been able to watch it and Sex Bomb... God, was it awkward for me. He literally did push-ups in that muscle suit in front of my eyes, I have it on video and god, I was red as a tomato, unsure if I should watch or not, be embarrassed or whatever. I think I had some mix of it with hysterical laughter. Still it was nice XD

Elladj Balde: He is incredible. The way he hyped up everyone and he had a performance with the DJ, kind of a sound battle, it was really good and his back-flip is to die for. I may have, managed to catch one of them on camera and wow. He also had kind of a flamenco?ish duet with Jeffrey and was part of all group numbers. I really really enjoyed his performances and he is damn handsome too XD Elladj is a true entertainer and I can really see why the Japanese shows tend to have him, he puts the place on fire with his performance and aura.

Jeffrey Buttle: He had one serious performance where I was a bit irritated by his facial expressions but otherwise he is incredible, his spins are to die for and a back-counter 3A may have slayed me too. As I said he had a duet kind of thing with Elladj before Javi joined them to take over with his bullfighter program, nice crossover tbh, they kind of teased and mock fought each other. Loved it. I certainly could see bits and peaces he had shown Yuzu in the programs he choreographed and it was somewhat bittersweet but incredibly lovely. Jeff looks also really good and that (peach) is to die for XD. I am sorry but I can’t help it when they literally skate in front of me with their backside, he also wore rather tight suit pants during one performance.

Anna Cappelini/Luca Lanotte: They had I believe one Spanish song with Diana Navarro, don’t know the title but it was really emotional and while I did not understand the lyrics I could still see what they tried to convey with the way they skated. Definitely enjoyed their lifts. They also did a Chaplin program with the girl group, later got joined by Javi who took over the ice to perform himself with the group, the way they incorporated the flow over to a different program was great. There was barely any awkward pause. As I said Anna is gorgeous, all of them were and damn, I couldn’t stop staring, especially what make up she used... anyone? Insider? Please? I need that ice-shadow she had one while they did the black for guys, red for girls group choreo. XD Overall, these two are incredible. 

Annette Dyrty/Jannick Bonheur: Okay, these two? If you all remember at FAOI how one pair skater swung around their partner and Yuzu said “Yabai” THAT WAS MY OVERALL MOOD. They did the scariest but most incredible things I didn’t know existed ( or were allowed, I guess with show skating it is ), they fired up the crowd! I swear they got one of the loudest cheers out there that night and for reasons. I was so impressed by them, really. Overall - wow factor.

Celia Benayas/Marco Covela: The acrobatic duo was great too, they performed to Never Enough from the Greatest Showman and it gave me Pyeongchang feels and oh god... I was close to cry. They were really good! Good addition, different than they had nothing to do with the skating.

Yuka Sato: HOW DO I NOT KNOW OF HER? SHE IS SO PRETTY AND GRACEFUL! She didn’t have many jumps in her performances but had some beautiful spins and spirals and I really enjoyed it, she was also as everyone else basically in the cast ridiculously pretty. She could rival with her beauty about anyone under 30 and she is 45!!! Can I have her genes? She performed to two Spanish songs, one with Eva Ruiz and also was part of all group numbers.

And we arrived to the main of the whole show for me - Javier Fernandez

For each of his greetings / announcing him in the beginning and taking over the ice he slid from the back in the front, silently without disturbing the attention from those currently bowing or still performing, unless it was meant to him doing so. He joined Anna/Luca on the ice to perform a Chaplin program, which was really entertaining and got lifted at the end by the girl group - as we have seen pictures of it XD Truly performances where he can play a character suit him a lot.

During Chaplin he was going all out on the dorky and I loved it, one time he laid on the ice and the girls skated above him, then he rolled on his side like he was showing off, even the way he got up was comical. So fun!

Next he did the bullfighter which was really funny too, he did one part right in front of me and his expressions are to die for. Of course it is also one of his more funnier ones in my opinion and the costume is gorgeous, the amount of detail is crazy.

I am not sure during which number anymore but he actually messed a 3S, A SALCHOW!! JAVI!!! I know you gave your 4S to Yuzu as a parting gift but OMG. And it happened on my side of the ice too like a bit further to the right, still in full view XD I have felt that Javi gave room for others to get some spotlight as well, which is so typical Javi in my eyes, still he could have basked in the attention a bit more, he deserved it and I am happy the crowd was so interactive too and gave it to him!

Now onto the one performance I truly, truly wanted to see and actually was the reason why I bought a ticket to ROI

Prometo

I am actually listening to the song as I am writing this...and I will start with a bit backstory here. As we all, I myself have seen a fancam of Prometo during the Shows he did in Canada and I instantly fell in love. I had to search for the song and ended up buying the whole album of Pablo Alboran listening to all the songs for weeks... the impact it had on me was I can’t describe it with words. Sometimes you are just so drawn to something at the first tunes, you will always remember it. I remember where I sat and how I found out about Prometo, the amount of hours I have listened to it on repeat, searched for the lyrics, backstory... everything I could get my hands on. It is a true masterpiece and not just the song itself but the program too.

There are actually 3 different versions of the song and he is using the Amazon Music, live version which is much slower than even the piano version. As for the versions I prefer the original or piano version, on the other hand I understand why he used the third version. It just fits so much more.

I have seen people calling it bland because Javier is not wearing any flashy costume but just simple pants and a sweater but if you look at the lyrics it does make sense and I think he sells it. The beige fits the melancholy it should show and how he does some movements to fit the text, like “dancing in the salon” and he kind of does a tango. I appreciate the lack of big jumps, beautiful spins instead and just single ones or more like leaping through the air, the knee slides and that one gorgeous Ina Bauer (he did that right in front of me and I was dead). It drew some tears from me, both for how the song generally gets me emotional but also due the whole afternoon already. This year literally two performances made me cry and this was one of them. I am so happy I could record it to keep with me forever.

I posted it on my Instagram in pieces, if you want to watch - HERE. I have also a Story Highlight for ROI only.

I found the audience in this particular instance annoying as some people kept screaming “Vamos” in between, I am sorry but Prometo is not something where it fits and I felt it disturbed the magic it was casting on everyone. Oh well, I concentrated on Javi instead, singling along a little bit.

I think by now after this long paragraph you can tell I am in love with Prometo and I am so thankful for being granted the privilege to watch it. It’s a beauty.

After that basically the finale was on and we had a happy Javi shimmy around the ice the music in the Prometo outfit. It was so nice to see him this happy, dancing around, giving people more time to shine as they introduced everyone again. Javier looked so happy and I was too. 

ROI is an incredible show and if you have the possibility just go, you are not going to regret it. I know the cast is different from some locations but I was so happy to have seen these performances. And the fact he nearly sold out a 11K stadium in Spain is so amazing too! Javier deserves this, truly.

I have no pictures or videos in this post as I have mostly taken videos and I have them in the insta stories or not yet really posted it. Some are quite short. I think I have only really filmed Javis programs in full and the opening. Oh and the acrobats. The rest just bits and pieces for memory.

After the show - 18th November - Sunday

Feeling so much better about my day thanks to Javi and the cast we returned late to our hotel. I chatted with my best friend for a bit before settling for bed. I slept really bad, waking up every hour and being confused about where I am, the time and it was a long night. I promised my friend to leave with her to the airport tho her plane left a few hours before mine but really I had nothing better to do and it was raining cats and dogs. Sightseeing got cancelled. At the airport the gloomy mood returned though I tried my best to be more positive, waiting for the medal ceremony which I could watch before my own flight went off. My friend left and I stayed alone at the airport. Did some shopping to lift my mood but otherwise sat at the Starbucks.

The moment the medal ceremony started I probably had the lowest moment of my entire weekend. I was sporting a headache due to the weather being horrible, my irritation level was high, been fighting the emotional situation... The moment I saw Yuzu with crutches I cried. I cried in a public coffee at an airport after one of the best evenings of my entire year (along with Helsinki weekend).  I just... it was hard and still is, will be for a while and yet again I felt bad because Javi should have been my priority for this weekend. I am sorry... again and again.

Once I fixed myself emotionally, I had to go to the gate. Cue Lufthansa being their usual self... delay with the flight, roller-coaster ride included in the price and when we landed and finally could get off the plane. I was more irritated than ever, my whole head was throbbing. Had to wait 20 minutes for a fucking train to take me to the city but yet again due to blocked routes, follow it up with a solid 20 minute walk in the cold ass weather. I barely get home and am in front of my building a guy starts to hit on me after I helped him with the same issue I had - public transportation. God, I was so not having it but trying to stay polite. When I rejected him he tried to pull the “is it because I am black” card and I was like... OMG REALLY? You wanna pull that shit just because someone you just met and is literally standing at the door of her building refuses to give you her number or expect yours? You are a fucking stranger I just met and I am sorry but hell no. Somehow I managed to actually get into my apartment and I was done. I was done with the whole day and the weekend and just nope.

While I did have one of the best weekends of my entire life it was also one of the worst ones. Even now I am conflicted how I feel. One moment I am happy the next I am sad and I really don’t know. Regardless of it all there is one thing I will say:

Javier Fernandez, thank you for organizing ROI and thank you for giving us the privilege to enjoy your skating, putting on a show that left me shaking and crying (literally... Prometo was emotional for me). Thank you, truly. The whole show and cast, including you were incredible. Gracias. See you next at Europeans! ♥

[yukikinomiya]

Your favorite Gene concert: Speedster or Mad Cyclone? Why?

Dear Anon,

 I am really sooooo incredible sorry that it took me so long to answer your question but it’s first of all a kinda quite difficult question and I really wanted to watch both concerts again to answer it properly. Thank you so much for this question. I never thought about it in this way and it was the first time that I actually watched it without being distracted by anything else.

Sooooo let’s go 😄

Speedster

It was my first Gene Live and my first Japanese Live with let’s say such dimensions (Lives of Solidem or X4 are so much smaller) and I was completely stunned. The stage was just f*cking awesome with all the streets and yeah it was the first time that I saw such a stage and it really made me speechless in the beginning. There were people everywhere, not only in front, but also on the side and in the back. I really liked how variable the middle part of the stage was with the stairs and everything. The CGI backstory about the Mad Clowns was just awesome. The Background Sound is great and I really think that they should be available on iTunes. They were really looking amazing in their Mad Clown outfits, but I also liked their „shiny“ suits which they put on before Tell me why.

The concert started with AGEHA (I won’t go into detail with every song, because then it would be a much much longer post, but you can ask me anytime…now I should be able to answer more quickly). When it started, I could really feel my pulse speeding up and it makes you dance immediately. The second song (OMG) was Evergreen. I wrote it already before and I think it’s kinda obvious that it’s my all-time favourite Gene Song. The live version is just sooo amazing because the stage is completely green and the dance sequence is longer. This song, especially the dance break, always reminds me of Hayato, so it’s kinda his song and I was totally happy when he was in the center. Fun Fact: when Ryuto turned his back to Ryota facing Yuta he made so silly faces and Yuta had to hold back his laughing. Never let you go is kinda on place 2 on my most played songs and I really love it. I liked how the guys were goofing around and it’s one of the songs I really miss during Live Performances. For Tell me why they changed the stage setting to NY and it was looking incredible good. And Ryuto hitting the high notes still causes shivers running through my spine. Their painful faces during the Rainy Room performance were so heartbreaking like aaaah….I want to hug them all. And the choreo by Yuta is just awesome. He’s such a talented choreographer so I can really imagine him doing this in the future and I really can’t wait for his lessons for EXPG Online. The Acoustic medley completely caught me off-gurad. I never thought that somebody can make me cry like this, but yeah here we have Ryuto and Ryota, who did this. The acoustic/piano version of 花 was so incredible, you really have to listen to it. I loved that the crowd was completely silent during the song (something you don’t see that often during western concerts). But this version is unbelievable great. Beyond everything. Do I really have to talk about 片想い?? Thx … dead … bye.  The Performer Showcase in short: the guys were so awesome and I really need the sound and somebody who teaches me the choreo. It always amazes me what Hayato is doing with his feet (so it’s not surprising that he needs cool bags on his legs after performances). His style is called Chicago Footwork and he’s the first Japanese performer joining them (So proud of my sunshine). His dancing style is also the reason why I am starting with street dance next semester and started with EXPG Online Studio (dying through the R.Y.U.S.E.I. choreo - but Kenjiro is doing a great job). I always have to jump when Sing it loud comes during a live. I have to sing and jump, it’s impossible not to. They also showed videos from their Generations EX Tour and sang parts of the song in English 🙂 . I didn’t like Organ Donor ~OFF DA HOOK~ in the beginning, but now OMG. It’s in the top10. The song is catchy, the choreo in the MV amazing and totally love it now. I totally love what they did with Gene’s version of Burning Up. The flags and the pyro is just wooooow. Hard Knock Days: you can really feel their energy. It’s song where you have to dance. Like sing it loud but with lots more energy. And yeah the performers minus Hayato were just rude. I fell in love with Namida from the start. I totally like their stories in the MV especially Mandy’s because yeah I’m a small girl and it was soooo cute. Also Hayato’s story was incredible cute. I like that the ending of his story was not so sad as the one of the others. So I was really excited for the live and they did an incredible job (I mean they can never disappoint me anyways).  So during the second part of Speedster they changed the setlist. The beginning of Namida was acoustic and OMG (still dead). The performance was a little bit different but still totally stunning. The Vocal acoustic medley was a little bit different this time. No piano, but they sang 片想い, Story (love this one a little bit too much), I remember and Always with you.  The Mad Show (or the Performer’s show case) was as great as expected and I am really running out of words. I really have no words left for Hayato because his performance always leaves me speechless. Alan and Reo … aaaah …. So extra 😄 Run this Town is just pure energy and power. You can really feel it when you watch it. And now we come to Pierrot … this song is just yeah I don’t know why but it always drives me nuts. The MV is just incredible and seeing it live was just OMG. The choreo is really awesome especially in the MV.

Mad Cyclone

The stage was this time a centre stage because yeah arena tour with the huge screen moving up and down and the stage was rotating during most of the performances. The stage had extensions (I’m not sure to call them like this but yeah) to both sides so the fans could enjoy it from all sides. The CGI Backstory continued from Speedster transforming them into the Mad Jesters. I totally liked the bridge to PKCZ with the laser lights in the arena and Alan’s before the DJpart. The live started with Mad Cyclone. I didn’t like it in the beginning, but now it’s such an awesome song and I get goosebumps every time I hear it. It has an incredible dance break (OMG) and every time they face each other is just wow (I guess they had lots of fun during RH 😄 ). The second song was 太陽も月も. And I think I love this song a little bit too much sometimes. It’s also the first song I hear in the morning (to kinda wake up). The choreo is awesome and during Gene High School TV you can learn it (also for AGEHA and BCR). During the dance break the performers had short solo dances and I totally loved the combination from Yuta and Hayato, because they spend so much time with each other working on their acrobatics. Seeing them doing CF together just made my heart burst 😄 And Reo and Alan next to each other with these hair styles totally look like brothers. Pierrot is my favourite MV of all (minus Evergreen) and also one of my favourite songs. The choreo is just awesome and I loved how Yuta and Hayato could show off their acrobatic skills during the performance. Cuteness overload or live performance of Togetherness. They were so cute especially Hayato, Ryota, Yuta and Alan goofing around with the camera. And aaaaaaah all the happy smiles. And yeah kinda off-topic: I really, really, really want Ryota’s leather jacket. I mean I have already the same Humanmade jacket but aaaaaaah. I really liked how Yuta was in the centre of the stage during Sound of Love  showing why he’s also in charge of chores and being all adorable with this huge smile. Yeah Make you mine or holy sh*t….ALAN…COULD YOU PLEASE NOT….PUT THAT F*CKING SHIRT ON…HAYATOOOO….NOT THAT GLANCE….REO…AAAAAAH TOTALLY SWEATY CLOSE UP…. ALAN….WHERE THE F*CK IS MY HOLY WATER…GO AWAY DEMON… So yeah that was my reaction to this performance. Also for the bridge to Stupid ～真っ赤なブレスレット～ It should be illegal to look that good. Really. I totally loved their solo dance parts during Namida while sitting on the stairs. And that’s just my opinion but Ryota’s voice improved a lot since Speedster. At least that’s what I hear and of course I can be wrong but he was incredible. Love you more in short: thx … dead … bye … They took 4 girls from the crowd, seated them on two sofas and sang for them. Ryuto must have killed them. Those girls will never be interested in anyone else. Looking at the girl while singing “I need you in my world“ would kill me. … Aaaah and the ending …. Both of them singing while facing the girls again … so cute (I would just die there). The performer showcase was called Mad Cyclone Alley this time and it was really kinda funny. Yuta with the flute, Alan with the scooter and Reo acting like the little brat he is. I am still not sure how Reo and Hayato could dance with the backbags on their backs but awesome. I really love how they all have their own style and it really kinda resembles their personalities. I still need an album for DJAlan. His remixes of Gene songs are just soooo amazing. His smiles were so cute during his part and you really see how much he enjoys it. Sing it Loud was the most amazing remix he did. He enjoyed it so much that I am pretty sure that the fans are going to enjoy a DJAlan part during United Journey 🙂 Hard Knock Days Is just aaaaaaaah. I can’t even. Especially Mandy’s rap part. He’s allowed to rap (and he’s really great) but so not allowed to sing. Reo and the skiing goggles…just too funny…but I would love to have Supreme skinning goggles…I am pretty sure I am skiing more than him 😄 During Run this town Hayato (KEEP YOUR F*CKING TONGUE WHERE IT SHOULD BE) had more time for his solo performance and OMG he’s so talented. His acrobatic skills have really improved a lot (yeah I always kinda worried about him but I know that he knows what he’s doing soooo). During the Be the one performance you could really see how incredible adorable they are. The last time I watched it I also made screenshots because it was just too funny to watch. The huge balloons in YMCA were great, but the performance was just f*cking awesome. With the rotating stage and the performers getting microphones (Hayato = pure energy - such a sunshine 😄 and Reo = little brat teasing Mandy as always). I think I talked already enough about Evergreen but in short I really love their group hug at the end of the song … just sooooooooo cute. Next was written by Ryuto and it’s also on my playlist of songs I have listen in the morning to survive the day 😄 It’s an incredible great song and I totally love the MV (It’s kinda the Making Off of Sora while they were in the US - the MV is sooooo adorable … Yuta and the alien 😄 ) During Speedster the opening was AGEHA. This time it was the ending of Mad Cyclone. I love how the taught the song during Gene High School TV and it’s soooo easy to learn. You just have to dance to this song when you hear it. It’s an amazing, catchy song and I’m already excited which song they are going to choose as opening song for United Journey (since they announced United Journey as a song on the next single I would go with this one but we will see).

Sooo as conclusion … I really can’t give a proper answer. Both Lives are amazing in their own way. It also depends a lot on my mood but let’s say 70% of the time I prefer Speedster because of the setlist, but when it comes to the stage I would 100% say Mad Cyclone. It’s completely my opinion but I prefer Speedster when it comes to cuteness (don’t ask why) and Mad Cyclone for all the uptempo songs (never been jumping around so much). The more often I watch Mad Cyclone the more I love it. So maybe if you ask me again in six months then my opinion might have changed.

[hyunwoo-archive]

hi amira what are your favourite things about shownu please respond in essay format thank u i love u

hello aleena thanks for pulling through sorry im replying like Two Days Later but . let me begin with my intro

it’s kind of a fandom joke (i mean i hate all fandom jokes that have to do w stereotypes) that shownu’s a dad or a robot but Literally if u take a moment to watch any video (like right now,,, mxray) u can see he’s rly … not what people perceive him to be??? like yeah he can b a little dad-ish at times when he dances to make people laugh nd he’s not really someone who expresses w their face but that doesn’t Necessarily mean he’s one dimensional ?? i rly hate it when people perceive him as one dimensional bc he’s so expressive with his actions w how he treats the members, seniors and juniors in the industry and w fans too !!!! nd one of my favorite things about him is how he interacts with people bc it’s just !! it’s very telling what kind of a person he is 

also sticking this under the cut bc its so long fjhjkas

w people younger than him, he’s very supportive and encouraging ?? w the kids from the daycare, u could see how excited he was to be around them and how he took care to make sure they were having fun safely. he definitely showed a sense of responsibility that was adapted to fit the needs of the little kids (nd i could see a lot of resemblance between how he treated the little kids nd the youngest members of monsta x) nd to me that was just ?? so cute :(( even w seniors, he has a lot of respect for them and it really shows ??? he doesn’t have to say “oh, i respect X Senior a lot” because it shows in the way he interacts with them. he knows what they’ve done for the industry and he takes a certain care to make sure it comes across in his body language

another favorite thing of shownu is that he’s very . naturally cute . it’s kiND OF WEIRD TO SAY THIS abt someone who’s older than me by 8 years but shownu, when he’s happy nd relaxed nd having a good time, is very cute. he has these mannerisms nd habits (touching his chin!!!!! the lil ‘click’ of his tongue nd doing that motion ?? throwing himself forward when he laughs) that just ??? it really appeals to me that he’s that cute :(( for me personally, he’s one of the members who are just very naturally cute !! there’s nothing forced abt it and i love it a lot !!

also !! can we talk abt shownu’s singing !!!!! he’s so so so talented at singing and his vocals are so beautiful to listen to ?? i feel like he fits slower songs best bc it can really showcase his ability (nd please im never gonna forget all of me!!! im so glad he did a 2017 version) and his voice is just very ?? sweet !!! it’s sweet but powerful nd he’s such a beautiful performer ?? for me,,, he really commands the stage. he has such an incredible stage presence and it translates so well into so many things ,,, like when he’s managing his facial expressions for his close ups !! i really fell for shownu because of his stage presence nd how he performs like …. a born performer basically he was really born to perform in front of hundreds of thousands !! i know he’s kind of insecure abt his expression when singing but he’s so so handsome when he sings ?? there’s this !! energy that comes from him that ties into him being a born performer :((

alSO while we’re talking abt performances nd performing, lets talk abt shownu’s dance skills !!!! its really no secret he’s the recognized dance machine of monsta x, and there’s so many choreos and examples that showcase this?? even when he was younger, he moved so fluidly and had so much control over his moves. i’m not,,, a dancer but for me,,, he’s … he’s That dancer for me. when he was a backup dancer for hyori,,, when he was on hit the stage (which im so thankful starship put him on there… it really gave him opportunities to learn and dance to the style that he loved best) and even with monsta x’s choreos !!! he could show off how much passion he had for dancing and it was overwhelming in the best sense ?? nd i love how he never fails to mention his inspiration and the reason he got into dancing like he rly !! wants everyone to know it wasn’t just a decision he spontaneously made, but that he had an inspiration behind it nd ghdjks thats just !! so endearing and makes me so proud of him :((

anD PLEASE LETS TALK ABT HIS OWN PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT FROM NO MERCY TO NOW !!! shownu was rly vocal abt how everyone perceived him as someone emotionless and while he did end up taking that assumption and making it his own, i wanna talk abt how he used the encouragements of the other members to be more open on camera ?? all of the members encouraged him to speak more, to interact w the camera more, to rly open up and show off sides of him he didn’t show off before. u can rly see from no mercy where there wasn’t much emotional stuff going on to now how he’s changed ?? it’s so so obvious he’s putting in effort and it makes me so happy like ... in the 7 months i’ve been a fan ,,, his personal development is so clear to me :(

honestly like ,,, shownu to me ,,,, is one of those idols that exist as such a good role model w/o trying ? he’s a good singer, dancer, leader nd he has such a warm and kind personality,, he’s always putting 100% into what he’s doing and it’s so admirable like fjhas god i really love a whole shownu :(

[marzopups]

Pieces of Genius Even in Horikoshi's Weakest Writing (or, let me be optimistic for a second)

So no matter how critical I am of this arc, or skeptical I am of the way the Six Quirks have been utilized, or annoyed at the way Lady Nagant has been fridged...look man I have friends that dropped MHA and don't understand why I still read it when I complain every week and let me say why.

In spite of how critical I personally am with the story direction as of late, there's still so much cool shit to talk about in this arc.

1. Loved Deku's new quirks being represented as support tools--really great representation of Deku's analytical mind.

2. The art is amazing--Horikoshi's greatest strength to me has always been his panel composition. Like, using the trajectory of Nagant's bullets to represent the panel dividers? It's so interesting.

3. The fight choreo with Deku and Nagant is some of the clearest that Horikoshi has ever done, which is awesome, since that's always been a weak point of his.

BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, for as much as Nagant feels inorganically introduced, her backstory provides so much context that blows up the world so far.

Stain's ideology remains front and center even as he hasn't appeared in over a hundred chapters--with Nagant showing us that the HPSC was doing in secret what Stain was being condemned for in public.

We see that, even when All Might was working as the 'Symbol of Peace', people still were doing horrible, violent things behind the scenes to keep society running--and I really hope that Deku has to reckon with that. His standard for heroism is All Might, but as we've learned, All Might wasn't really even All Might. (TO BE CLEAR: I do not think All Might was aware of what was happening).

We get further confirmation of the rot at the core of hero society: that the HPSC was murdering corrupt heroes they believed threatened the public perception of the system, and yet did nothing about Endeavor. And with their robust system they clearly have to sniff out problems, I do not believe for a second they had no idea.

The thing with Horikoshi is that he likes to play incredibly long games. Remember when Shigaraki was easily the weakest aspect of the manga? Or when Bakugo was such a one note asshole it was annoying? Or when the Dabi twist became so obvious people were saying there was no way its reveal would be satisfying? All of these took sometimes hundreds of chapters to pay off in a really cathartic way.

Criticize those aspects as they come--it's a weekly manga, afterall--but personally I'm not going to lose faith that Horikoshi has a plan here. Deku is going to realize being the uber Small Might boy isn't such a great idea.