#it was so obvious from the very beginning

[cheeseceli]

You don't tell them you're sick

Pairing: ot8!Ateez × gn!reader (established relationships)

Genre: fluff, hurt/comfort, headcanons

Request: the reader gets sick or hurt but doesn't want to tell the boys cause they are busy or on tour and don't want them to worry or get sick too.

Warnings: They are idols, mentions of medicine and food, bits of self doubt and reader is injured/sick

A/n: blind by ateez is such a good song fr | daily click

Seonghwa

Honestly, he looks a bit disappointed

He thought you knew him better than that

After all, what did he do to give you the impression that he'd rather not be "bothered" if you ever got injured?

Makes sure to take proper care of you until your complete recover

It doesn't matter if he's preparing for a now comeback

Your well being will always come first to him

"And don't you ever forget, I'm here for you. No matter what. I want to be bothered, so bother me all you want."

Hongjoong

Very similar to Seonghwa

Except he's not necessarily disappointed

He's in denial

Like, there's no way you were sick for almost 2 weeks but didn't tell him because he was on tour

You didn't actually do it

Right?

And he can't believe he didn't notice it before, even if you made sure to hide it

Feels like he failed you a little

Makes sure to check on you all the time, overseas or not

"You know you can tell me all you're going through, right? That's what I'm here for."

Yunho

Low-key doubting himself a bit

Is he that bad of a boyfriend that you thought he wouldn't have the time to take care of you 💔

Or even worse

Did you think he wouldn't want to be there for you?

Wonders what he did to give you that impression

And he is on his way to fix it

While taking care of you!

No way you are escaping him giving you the nurse treatment

Being 100% boyfriend material just in case

"Are you feeling any better? I can go buy any remedy you might want. Or soup! Do you want soup?"

Yeosang

He did think your voice was a bit hoarse when he called you two days before

But it's not until you were sneezing nonstop today is that he caught on

You were sick

And when he asked you about it you dared to deny, even if it was so obvious you were lying

Him being on Japan doesn't mean he can't take care of you?!

Makes sure to order medicines and food to your place

Now there's no denying

"Hey, just letting you know that dinner should be there in less than 20 minutes. I ordered you your favourite :)"

San

He was surprisingly fast at discovering, even if you were trying to hide

Mostly because it's kinda hard to walk around with a sprained ankle

So even though he was tired and wanted nothing more than just sleeping after a tough day at practice

He noticed you were in pain

Don't even try to deny

Suddenly he's all energised, ready to take care of you

And he's demanding answers

Why did you hide it from him? How did you hurt yourself? For how long were you walking around like this?

Will take care of you but will also (affectionately) scold you until your ears fall off

"You should call me right away when something like this happens! You were planning on keeping it a secret or something? Wait what-"

Mingi

Honestly, you should've just told him

"But he's so stressed because of work, I don't wanna worry him"

Well, that did not work

If you had told him from the beginning, he would've probably be less worried

But now, because you said "I fell from the stairs, but I'm okay now" he thinks you're on verge of death

We know you had good intentions

But bro is STRESSING 😭

So please, next time just tell him right away lmao

"For God's sake, Y/n, don't ever do this again. Are you okay, though? For real?"

Wooyoung

Oh wow

This one is feeling like he was backstabbed

Even if you were an oscar winning actor/actress, you would NOT fool this guy

When it comes to you, he knows and noticed everything

So after making you're alright, even with the slight pain, he just keeps eyeing you

Waiting for you to tell him how'd you get hurt

But then you don't

And he's honestly a bit hurt you wouldn't rely on him even when your knees where that bruised

Proceeds to take care of you (and interrogate you), all while hoping you'll be able to understand he's there for you

All the time

"Could you put me as your emergency contact? I want to be there for you if you ever need me."

Jongho

Probably the most understanding out of the boys

He was in the other side of the world, after all

And although he'd go back to you in a heartbeat, he knew why you wouldn't want him to

So he understands your point of view

But damn

You guys called each other a few times

He would've appreciated if you had told him

He could've asked a staff to help you, he could've bought you medicine

If he could at least ask how you were feeling, he'd already feel better

So please, don't hide those things from him

"Are you sure you don't want me to go back home? I know, it's just a bit of a fever, but I don't mind going back. Just say the word."

Masterlist | you'll probably like: their s/o is overworked

Reminder this is just fiction!! I'm not trying to portray real life and you shouldn't believe that this is how the members actually are. This is just for the vibe and the delulu!

Taglist (open!): @yuyubeans @sheraayasherrecs @queenofdumbfuckery @lezleeferguson-120

Dividers by @saradika-graphics | images 1, 2 and 3

[centaurianthropology]

What LeeBeeBee does for the Story of ‘Murderbot’

So we’ve finally met Blonde Lady in the series (her name is LeeBeeBee), and I think she’s filling a really interesting and important role plot-wise and worldbuilding-wise, and doing so in unexpected ways that are surprising even book-readers.  She’s wholly original to the show, so no one knows what precisely the writers have planned for her.

But I certainly have thoughts and predictions. 

I figured I’d break my thoughts on her up into two sections.  The first section is for all the folks who are show-only, and I’ll only be examining her role in S1E5, without any additional speculation pulling from book knowledge and what I think the writers are doing with her in the longer term.  The second part will speculate on the upcoming episode, and how I think it could play out.  No idea if I’m right about everything (or anything!), but it’s always fun to speculate!

FUNCTION IN S1E5 (SPOILERS FOR E1-5)

Let’s kick it off by talking about LeeBeeBee in isolation in this episode, what her function in this particular episode was, what she does for the plot, the larger world, and what she does for the storytelling format. 

Let’s start with her plot function, the most obvious part of her role in this episode.  She appears at the beginning as the sole survivor of DeltFall, makeup smeared and uniform dirty.  This immediately sets her apart from the PresAux gang.  She’s apparently the indentured cleaner that DeltFall rented for the hab along with the SecUnits, and this cleaner is wearing makeup despite having a physically laborious job in a field unit on a mostly-uninhabited planet. 

This small bit of visual storytelling sets DeltFall up as a very different society to PresAux.  PresAux deliberately only took one (cheap) SecUnit, which is understandable given their objections to using constructs as slave labor.  None of them wear makeup in the field, and they certainly don’t have a cleaner.

But DeltFall not only had multiple constructs, but also an indentured servant to do housekeeping, and there is either an expectation or a cultural norm that she be made up while she do her indentured job.  They feel, from this introduction, very Corporation Rim. 

LeeBeeBee herself acts as a personification of the Corporation Rim on a level we haven’t been able to dig into with the limited screentime of the Company Tech Bro sales reps.  From her first scene on the hopper, she feels like she’s from a completely different world to the empathetic and sweet Preservationers.  She almost immediately objectifies SecUnit in a way that is openly offputting to both the audience and clearly to the Preservation crew, who likely don’t say anything both out of shock and out of some belief that this woman has to have some sort of brain damage to say something like that.

But this level of objectification, I think, lies at the heart of the Corporation Rim.  It’s not that constructs are objects, but their workers are valued.  LeeBeeBee is an indentured servant.  She has no more free will than SecUnit.  She objectifies it because she sees herself as a step above a construct, and in the CR hierarchy, you’re likely encouraged to objectify anyone beneath you.  And that comes around to something equally uncomfortable when she finds out it’s got a hacked governor module and is a rogue.  She views it as a person now, but what does that mean? 

She objectifies herself for it. 

And doesn’t that make the worst sort of sense on a survival level for a person in her position?  She’s fully adapted to doing what she has to do to survive.  She views sex in an incredibly transactional and exploitative way.  When she thinks SecUnit is an object, she has the power and she immediately speculates about using it as a sex toy.  When she shifts into thinking of it as a person, she also knows how dangerous it is, and reverses their power dynamic, offering sex as a transactional way to protect herself. 

It’s awful, deliberately so.  But I think it’s a great and visceral way to get into the Corporation Rim mindset: constructs aren’t special; everyone who isn’t wealthy or powerful is an object.  You don’t get to be a person with fully autonomous choices until you’re one of the elite.  Until then, sex is just another way of trying to get a slight advantage in an endless rat race.

Having LeeBeeBee represent this deeply uncomfortable aspect of an end-stage capitalist hellscape like the CR also does something on a storytelling level.  This addition of an outsider character fully shifts the POV in the show.  Up until her introduction, the PresAux crew felt like the strange outsiders that MB was judging, but by introducing the worst possible representation of the CR, our alignment completely shifts.  We are not only on Preservation’s side, but we are insiders with them.  They now feel normal and lived in, and she feels like the outsider.  And this reflects the shift going on in Murderbot.  Even before it’s willing to acknowledge it, through the framing of LeeBeeBee we subconsciously know it has realigned itself with the PresAux crew. 

So that’s why I think she was an effective addition in this episode.  If you’re interested in some book spoilers and speculation for the next episode, jump below the cut.

FUNCTION IN S1E6 AND BEYOND (SPECULATION, SPOILERS FOR ‘ALL SYSTEMS RED’)

Are they gone?

Groovy.  Let’s get under the hood and talk about all the ways she’s working on multiple levels, not just embodying all the worst parts of the CR as I previously mentioned, but playing it up as a means of camoflage.  Because LeeBeeBee is almost certainly a GrayCris plant, precisely what SecUnit and Mensah were worried about, and the crew absolutely did take her in despite the danger because they are good people.  And they would do the right thing, even if Murderbot objected.

It’s so nice to get to see exactly how DeltFall might have been infiltrated, which we didn’t get to see in the book.  And so many of her lines read differently when you think of her as a plant.  Did DeltFall call PresAux ‘the Amateurs,’ or was that GrayCris?  Did DeltFall actually have an indentured servant, or is that GrayCris?

I think that a lot of what she’s saying is truthful, or is just a slight twist on the truth.  I do think she’s likely indentured.  I do think she views others and herself as objects to be used and exploited and discarded.  She’s suffering under one of the cruelest practices in the Corporation Rim, but she’s still fully bought into the CR propaganda and mindset.  Rather than defecting and embracing freedom the way Gurathin likely did, she’s almost certainly looking at getting years shaved off her indenture by acting as an infiltrator and assassin

That’s so perfectly horrid.  She would rather still be indentured but get in better with her bosses than accept real freedom.  It’s a cowardice I think we can all see in our world, that she would take the safe misery and be willing to hurt others to do it, rather than take a major risk and step outside the system.

She’s also dialing up her inherent objectification of others to a level that makes her deliberately off-putting, so the PresAux crew want to look away from her rather than examining her too closely.  If they just want to sort of ignore her, then they’re not going to dig too far into her actions.  If she runs off to communicate back to GrayCris regarding a rogue SecUnit they’re not going to follow her, and are going to be glad to get a break from her.

Her distraction tactics work particularly well against Murderbot, who she makes wildly uncomfortable to the point it’s very glad to get away from her, and is likely deliberately trying not to think of her.  If you watch who she’s targeting with this barrage of unpleasantness, she does it first as a blanket with the crew to gauge reaction, then targets it at SecUnit once she realizes that it’s not being controlled by the combat override, and that it’s fully rogue.  There’s no easy way for her to control it (as I suspect she was controlling the DeltFall SecUnits), so she had to improvise, because as far as she’s concerned, this independent SecUnit is the #1 threat to her plan to kill the PresAux crew.  She must have been so relieved when it went with Mensah to trigger the beacon, because she knew the beacon was rigged to explode, and she had a good chance of getting rid of both the biggest threat and the team leader, and she didn’t even have to do anything!

Which, to her mind, only leaves the rest of the PresAux team to deal with.  After SecUnit, she almost certainly considers Gurathin the next biggest threat, because she would certainly underestimate the Preservationers, but he’s ex-corporate, so she would respect the threat he posed.  So after Mensah and SecUnit are gone, she zeroes in on Gurathin.

I think she almost certainly has a dossier or some other large amount of personal and professional information about him from his days in the CR.  What did she do when she first talked to him after Mensah and Murderbot were gone?  She offered him a stimulant.  I’m now convinced that his therapy modules were—in addition to being for generalized trauma (why did you learn to be quiet, Gurathin??)—meant to treat a stimulant addiction he struggled with after using them to work whatever insane hours he was required to work when he was in the CR. 

I think this next episode is going to be Gurathin-heavy.  The writers are setting up deliberate contrasts between the die-hard-to-a-horrific-level Corpo LeeBeeBee and Defector-with-Trauma ex-Corpo Gurathin.  I wonder if he won’t try to sort of reach out to her in the next episode (was he indentured too?), convince her to defect too, only to have her turn it all around on him and use his backstory against him.  If he was indentured, did he break contract to run to Preservation?  Is there a bounty on him?  Is there a bounty on his AUGMENTS, body not needed in return?

I sort of have an image of the next episode playing out like a horror film, where we realize that LeeBeeBee is the exact infiltrator that took out DeltFall, that GrayCris SecUnits are incoming, MB and Mensah may already be dead, and the person who was responsible for the DeltFall massacre is inside the hab right now.

Especially if we don’t know what happened to MB and Mensah for the majority of the episode, instead focusing on the rest of the group.  Without the snarky voiceover, the terror of the situation could really get hammered home.  Again, this is fully speculation of how it might play out next episode, but my guess is that the big cliffhanger next episode is going to be LeeBeeBee attacking Gurathin.  Previews have shown him with a bandage on his leg, and holding a cane, which some people have pointed out looks like a blind walking cane.  That makes me wonder if she manages to not only disable him with a shot to the leg, but damage visual augments he might have, rendering him partially blind.

I think we’ve also been getting a lot of background work with Gurathin being terrified of rejection and abandonment throughout this season.  He and MB parallel one another in not wanting to share Mensah, because they both are afraid the other will manage to take her from them (completely ignoring that Mensah has two fucking hands, and more than enough love in her to love her family, and both of these idiots too).  If LeeBeeBee really wants to twist the knife in him, she’s going to tell him that if the others are going to survive, they have to abandon him.

And Pin-Lee, Arada, Bharadwaj, and Ratthi are almost certainly going to refuse.  Much like Mensah refused to abandon MB when it was damaged, they’re going to refuse to leave their friend behind.  Because they can disagree with him, they can think he’s wrong about SecUnit, but they still love him and won’t leave him.

This sets up E7 to be the big turning point between the nadir of act 2 (MB and Mensah may be dead, Gurathin is injured, and the others are in direct danger because they won’t leave him behind), and the start of act 3 (MB and Mensah return and save everyone!  They can all come together, defeat GrayCris and escape alive!). 

And all of this gets facilitated because of the introduction of LeeBeeBee, who acts as a face for GrayCris (and likely a way to give us information about them) and for the whole vicious corporate people-as-objects theme that consumes the Corporation Rim.  It’s so much easier to loath GrayCris when we can see the sorts of people it creates, and she is such a great example of that.

[karvokr]

unscripted

it was all for show– until it wasn’t. now the lines are blurred, the feelings are real, and no one remembers who’s cast in what role.

pairings: actor!gojo x actress!reader x actor!geto content warnings: mdni, smut and angst, unprotected piv sex, fingering, oral (m and f receiving), infidelity/cheating themes, love triangle, fake dating/pr relationship, secret relationship, they did NOT rehearse their lines series masterlist • episode 2 >>

S1, E1: casting call

You sign the contract on a Wednesday.

It arrives in your inbox under the subject line: “CONFIDENTIAL.”

A PDF. Nine pages long. Paragraphs of stipulations, contingencies, and conditions dressed up in PR language so pristine you almost laugh. Coordinated appearances. Joint interviews with dates staggered across press cycles. Exclusivity clauses for red carpet events. “Spontaneous” candid moments approved in advance. At least four public outings a month. A shared stylist to align aesthetics without making it too obvious. No real intimacy, but enough illusion to stir the right kind of attention.

At the bottom: “Duration: Minimum 6 months. Option to renew through awards season.”

Your name is already typed in the signature line, blank and waiting.

It’s ridiculous. A fake relationship designed to sell a real story– two beautiful leads, off-screen romance bleeding into on-screen chemistry, timed just right to catch the eye of the Academy. It feels like theater. Like marketing dressed in Dior and Versace.

Your publicist says it’s “industry standard,” and your agent reminds you that an Oscar doesn’t just happen. It’s built.

And Suguru Geto is a very good brick.

So you nod. Sign. Smile.

The next morning, you wake to two calendar invites and a wardrobe fitting already on the books. Friday is a blur of meetings– PowerPoints, color swatches, talking points, binders stacked with everyone else’s expectations. You’re poked, pinned, and polished into someone just glossy enough to photograph well. Saturday is quieter, technically free, but your nerves don’t get the memo. You feel it in your chest, in your skin– the stillness before something begins.

By Sunday, Suguru Geto is your boyfriend– on paper.

It’s not like he’s a stranger. You met him once– briefly– at a film festival in Toronto. It was years ago, before your first major role, before the PR teams and stylists and publicists started forming a protective wall between you and the world. You were still wide-eyed, still watching everything like it was a dream you’d wake up from. The kind of version of yourself that lingered too long at open bars and felt guilty for answering questions during panel Q&As.

Suguru was already someone then. Not yet a household name, but he was well on his way– fresh off a Cannes nomination and a string of indie shoots that made critics go quiet in their chairs. You knew him the way everyone in that circle did: respected, rumored, slightly haunted. He carried himself like someone older than his age, like the world had already tried to take something from him and failed.

You ended up in the same green room by accident. He was tucked into the corner of a velvet couch, thumbing through a paperback that looked older than both of you. Everyone else was networking, talking too loudly, smiling too hard. He wasn’t. He barely looked up when you walked in, but when he did, he blinked like he recognized you– from the festival lineup, probably– and offered the barest, quietest nod.

You’d been introduced by someone else– your manager at the time– and it was awkward. His handshake was warm but brief. He said your name like he didn’t want to forget it. And he was polite, thoughtful, soft-spoken.

But mostly, he seemed tired. Not rude. Just spent. A little hollow around the edges. Like he was doing his best to stay upright in a space that wanted too much from him.

You remember liking that about him. Not the weariness, exactly, but the honesty of it. There was no fake smile. No attempt to charm you. Just a quiet man in a crowded room who didn’t pretend he wasn’t drowning in it.

You’d watched him from across the room later that night at a private party. He leaned against the balcony railing, lit cigarette forgotten between two fingers, eyes unfocused like he was somewhere far away. When he laughed at something someone said, it was sudden. Soft. Real. You’d only heard it once, and it had stuck with you.

The festival ended. You moved on.

You didn’t think you’d ever get close to him– not because he wasn’t interesting, but because men like Suguru Geto didn’t orbit close to people like you. He existed on a different rung. Quiet, unreachable, curated by some invisible machinery you hadn’t yet learned to navigate.

And besides, you didn’t think you’d want to. At the time, you still believed in real chemistry. In relationships built on off-camera glances and unspoken moments. You thought PR couples were hollow. Manufactured. Maybe even sad.

That version of you didn’t know anything yet. She didn’t understand how useful illusion could be.

So when they first floated Suguru’s name– your team, the studio, the awards consultants already plotting headlines and camera pairings– it felt surreal. Distant. Like a ghost reaching back from a past life.

You were already flipping through moodboards and shoot schedules when they said it. “We’ve spoken with Geto’s team. He’s open to it.”

Open to you.

The version of him you remembered didn’t do this kind of thing. He didn’t fake romance for the press. He didn’t post birthday selfies or tweet cryptic captions about breakups. He was… reserved. Controlled. Private.

And yet here he was. Signing the same contract you were. Ready to stand beside you in softly blurred photos, his hand on your waist like it belonged there. Willing to laugh at your red carpet jokes, low and close enough that the cameras could catch it– but not close enough to be real.

The first staged outing is in West Hollywood. Lunch. Alone. Private– but not private enough to escape the paparazzi’s watchful lenses, peeking through bushes and around street signs. But it’s shaded, the espresso is good, and Suguru is already waiting when you arrive.

He stands when he sees you.

He doesn’t rush. Doesn’t overact. Just offers a gentle smile, takes off his sunglasses, and says: “Hey. You look… perfect for the role.”

There’s a pause. He lets you laugh.

You press your cheek to his in greeting. A soft brush. His palm grazes your waist. You smell cologne– cedar, bergamot, maybe vetiver. It lingers on your dress after you sit.

The cameras click in the background, but it’s easy to ignore. For a little while, it feels like lunch.

You talk more than you thought you would. He asks about your last film– not the big one, the little indie one that barely got distribution. You’re surprised he’s seen it.

“It stayed with me,” he says, stirring sugar into his coffee. “The way you didn’t say anything in that scene by the river. That kind of stillness is hard to find.”

You blink. Most people missed that scene entirely.

When you compliment his recent performance in a war drama, he winces a little. “Too loud,” he says. “Too much grit, not enough meaning. But thank you.”

It’s rare, you think, to meet someone so deliberate. He listens. Really listens. He’s not trying to impress you. He’s not trying at all.

And that makes it easier to relax.

The lunch ends. He walks you to your car, lingering just long enough to let his hand graze your arm– not for the cameras, not to garner buzz for the movie. Just to steady you in heels. A small gesture. Unremarkable, maybe, to anyone else. But it feels intentional.

You think maybe it’s just how he is. Quietly thoughtful. Present without pressing. Almost caring, but in a way that never risks anything.

You don’t hear from him the rest of the day. Not the next morning, either.

But late the following night, just as you’re settling into the kind of silence that feels too big for the room, your phone lights up.

Suguru [11:12 PM]: Are you awake? Suguru [11:12 PM]: If not, don’t worry.

You stare at the screen for a moment– thumb hovering, heartbeat heavier than it should be.

Then you call him. It rings twice.

Then his voice, low and unguarded: “Hey.”

You sit back in bed, tuck the phone against your shoulder. “Hey. Sorry, I just saw your text.”

“No, it’s okay. I wasn’t sure if I should bother you. It’s late.”

“I’m glad you did.”

Silence stretches– not awkward, not tense. Just quiet.

You hear a door shut on his end. Something rustling. Maybe a blanket. Maybe a cigarette box. You imagine him in some hotel suite somewhere– dim light, half-buttoned shirt, bare feet on cold tile.

“Rough day?” you ask.

Suguru breathes out. “Long. Not bad. Just… hollow.”

You nod, even though he can’t see it. “I get that.”

Another silence. This one more personal.

You don’t know why it’s easier to talk to him like this– through a line, without his eyes on you. Maybe it’s because there’s no script here. Just the two of you, drifting closer in the dark.

“I didn’t think I’d enjoy this,” he says eventually.

You blink. “The… PR thing?”

“Mhm.” You hear the faint creak of a mattress. “Figured it’d be fake. Cold. But you’re… not.”

A soft smile tugs at your lips. You tuck your knees up under the blanket. “You’re not what I expected either.”

“Oh?” There’s a teasing lilt in his voice, just a hint.

“I thought you’d be more–”

“Arrogant?”

“I was going to say distant.”

He hums. “Maybe I still am.”

“You’re here, though,” you say. Quiet. Honest. “Talking to me at midnight.”

“That’s true.”

You listen to each other breathe for a few seconds. It’s strange how comforting it is– the intimacy of being heard without having to perform.

“You don’t have to be anything with me, you know,” you say softly. “Off-camera, I mean.”

There’s a pause.

Then, quietly, “that’s the hard part. You make me want to get to know you.”

Your chest aches a little at the way he says it. Not fragile, but resigned. Like someone who’s used to being alone in rooms full of people. Beautiful, adored, unreachable.

“I don’t mind you,” you say, teasing just slightly.

He laughs, just barely. You wish you could see it.

“You’re easy to like,” he murmurs.

You feel warmth creep into your throat, your chest. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

And for a moment, it’s just that. The softness. The space. The two of you suspended between pretending and something that might not be.

“I’ll see you soon,” you say eventually.

“Looking forward to it.”

You hesitate. “Suguru?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m glad you texted.”

Another pause. This one full. 

“Me too.”

You hang up a minute later. Your phone lights up again after a few minutes. A photo– from him. A blurry one. Just your feet next to his on a sidewalk after lunch. You hadn’t even noticed a camera had caught it.

Suguru [11:46 PM]: This one feels real.

You stare at your phone longer than you mean to. Then you type: “Maybe it was.”

You don’t send it. You just watch the words sit there– half-formed, unfinished– like a secret only you know.

The next day, you're both scheduled for a surprise sighting at a bookstore in Silver Lake. The type of place where the press just happens to catch you with your fingers brushing over the same dog-eared copy of some retro novel no one’s actually read.

But Suguru gets there early. You spot him near the poetry section, tucked into a quiet corner chair like he was born to inhabit silence. There’s a book in his hands and a pair of wire-framed glasses balanced on his nose. He doesn’t look up when you walk in.

He looks up when he feels you.

You crouch beside his chair, the hem of your coat brushing his shin, and he smiles at you like he knows something you don’t.

“Tell me that’s not just for the cameras,” you say, eyeing the book.

“It isn’t,” he replies, closing it gently. “But I wouldn’t blame you for assuming.”

You end up sitting across from him on the floor, backs leaned against the same bookcase. No photographers yet. Just you and him and the faint smell of old paper and something woodsy lingering on his coat.

He reads you a line from the book– something Rilke, something sad– and doesn’t flinch when you look at him too long after. Neither of you says anything about how close your knees are. Or the way he looks down at your hand like he’s memorizing the shape of it.

Another night, it’s a low-profile dinner. Outdoor patio, dim lighting, no press invited this time– just a couple of phones in the hands of distant patrons who might or might not realize who you are.

Suguru orders for both of you without asking. You let him.

You talk about dumb things. Favorite comfort foods. Least favorite roles. He tells you about a movie he almost did, then didn’t. You tell him about the one you regret turning down. When dessert comes, you end up sharing it.

He doesn’t touch you. Not once.

But his knee brushes yours beneath the tablecloth, and he doesn’t pull away.

You wonder if he notices how close your breath gets when you laugh.

There’s a photoshoot the day after. Joint promotional spread. All silk and soft light and posing like your arms fit naturally around each other’s waists.

At one point, you’re positioned facing him, chests almost touching, eyes locked.

“Closer,” the photographer says. “Tilt your face toward him, not the lens.”

You do.

Suguru’s breath is steady. So is yours. But something in the air between your mouths feels like a wire strung too tight.

The shutter clicks.

Later, he shows you a shot on his phone. One no one else has seen yet. Your face is turned toward him. His eyes are on you, not the camera.

He doesn’t say anything. He just looks at you for a second longer than he should, and then locks his phone.

You text more than you mean to.

Mostly in the late hours. He sends you half-thoughts. You send him blurry photos of your takeout. He sends you voice notes when he's tired– one of them is just him humming something you don’t recognize.

You listen to it three times before you place it– Erik Satie, maybe. One of those pieces that feels like a memory you forgot you had.

You [12:03 AM]: you always sound like you're somewhere else when you talk at night Suguru [2:14 AM]: Maybe that’s the only time I’m anywhere at all.

There’s one afternoon where it rains unexpectedly and you're both caught leaving a meeting in Midtown. No umbrella. Just the two of you ducking into a covered alley behind a hotel entrance, laughing like you’ve been running through puddles your whole life.

He’s soaked. You’re worse. Makeup smudged, hair plastered to your cheeks.

He takes off his coat and gives it to you without thinking.

“No cameras,” you whisper, curling into the warmth of it. “You don’t have to play the part.”

He glances at you, a drop of rain sliding from his temple to his jaw. “Maybe I want to.”

You don’t answer. Not out loud.

But when the valet pulls up and you climb into separate cars, you realize the smell of his cologne has already settled into the lining of your sleeves.

A few days later, you’re on the rooftop of a downtown hotel for a fashion house pre-party. Your heels are too high. Your dress is too sheer. And the wind is just aggressive enough to ruin every shot the team set up.

You step aside to fix your hair and find him standing by the railing, holding a glass of whiskey and watching the skyline like he’s trying to memorize it.

When he sees you, he doesn’t say anything. Just lifts the glass in a lazy toast. You walk over.

“Cold?” he asks.

“A little.”

He shrugs off his jacket. Drapes it around your shoulders.

You both stay there a while– saying nothing, not moving. And for the first time, it doesn’t feel like pretending.

Then comes the gala, and it’s all polished surfaces and curated light– a sleek event for the casting reveal of the film you’re starring in with Suguru and the opportunity to go officially public as Hollywood’s latest co-star couple.

You stand beside him for photos, and his hand settles against your back like it belongs there. Warm. Steady. Measured down to the inch.

He leans in between flashes, voice low and careful, whispering little things to keep you calm. 

“You’re doing great.” 

“Don’t lock your jaw– just breathe.” 

“You’re a natural, stop stressing.”

It doesn’t sound rehearsed. It sounds like he means it. And for a moment, you let yourself believe he does.

And then, like a needle skipping over a record, the elevator dings. The air changes. A new energy enters the room like a shift in temperature. Like a spotlight without a switch.

Satoru Gojo walks in– late, unbothered, and dressed to be looked at. White tux. Shirt slightly unbuttoned. Sunglasses dangling from the bridge of his nose like he forgot they were there. He’s in the movie too, but everyone knows he’s better suited for chaos: tabloid rumors, non-committal nights out– the kind of press you can’t plan for.

You? Tied to someone like that? No one would’ve bought it for a second.

He looks at Suguru first. Smiles like there’s history in it. Something private. Sharp-edged.

Then he turns to you.

And suddenly, the room feels too small. Too loud. You’re hyper-aware of everything– how your body holds itself, how Suguru’s hand rests on your waist, how close you are, how visible it all is.

Like just standing there, being touched by someone else, is enough to offend Gojo. Like your posture alone is a challenge he’s already accepted.

But you don’t realize what’s shifting– not yet.

Not until he starts walking your way. Not until he says your name like it tastes good. Not until the weight of his gaze makes you feel like the scene has already started– and you missed your cue.

thank you for reading! <3 ily

comment to be added to the taglist: @twilightsumu

[twilightofthesandwiches]

A lot has been already made of the comparisons between Spamton Deltarune and Flowey Undertale. Obsessed with acquiring the Player Character's SOUL, playing a similar narrative role in the Murder Routes of each game/chapter, the visual similarities between the wires and strings to Flowey's vines (to the point the musical track related to them is literally called "Digital Roots") and Spamton even kinda paraphrasing some of Flowey's lines in his own... Spamtony way.

So now I'm thinking about how Flowey/Asriel and Gerson/the Hammer of Justice really are mirror images of each other.

These are both examples of Monsters being resurrected via their Symbolic-Objects-Covered-in-Dust being exposed to the Big Metaphysical Force of the game, Asriel was revived via Determination and Gerson was revived via the Dark. They're both even named after their Objects (a Flower and a Hammer).

You can even draw comparisons between Asriel being a young child who died under tragic circumstances, leaving behind his grieving parents, while Gerson was an old man who seemed to have died from natural circumstances and left behind his son.

And the fact that Flowers are generally seen as nice, innocent and peaceful, while Flowey is the cruel antagonist of his game. Meanwhile, Hammers generally symbolize violence and brute strength, while the Hammer of Justice is a helpful and scholarly mentor.

And even kinda the fact that they both dabble in misdirection. Flowey tries to present himself as a helpful tutorial character as a trap for Frisk. The Hammer of Justice presents himself as a hindrance and a Load to the Three Heroes so he can secretly mentor them.

...I was originally thinking of presenting their animating forces, the Dark and Determination, as also kinda opposites from each other. Since Queen's speech in Chapter 2, I've been assuming Determination is a trait/concept associated with Light (since Queen said "the Power of Determination" is something all Lightners possess).

But... with Ralsei's explanation of Darkners in Chapter 3 including a creature obviously inspired by the Amalgamates (another result of Alphys Undertale's experiments with Determination)

And then the Final Boss of Chapter 4 being a Titan, a being that is like the Dark incarnation of the Dark itself, having a very obvious and very prominent SAVE POINT Motif

...I am beginning to wonder if Determination and Dark are less mirror opposites and more two sides of the same coin.

[deswhomst]

i went into ginny and georgia season 3 like “oh this is that one guilty pleasure kinda cringey show ive liked for a few years now” but omg the writing this season was so good !!!! it was a masterpiece imo. i did not expect all that to happen—plus the acting!!! it was so well done i’m actually weirdly proud of it. dumping some thoughts here

S3 SPOILERS:

i used to really like paul but he disappointed me baddd. i’m not saying his situation was completely easy but he totally abandoned them (including ginny and austin) and i lost all respect when he hit the wall beside georgia—and i GET that georgia faking a pregnancy was wrong, too, but he got violent and that’s never okay imo.

i am SO happy that ginny confronted zion about being absent, too, because everyone keeps saying that zion is such a great father and while he’s not horrible, he has definitely lived his life while georgia had to give hers up. yes it was her choice but he could’ve fought harder, too. so im not saying i hate him or he’s totally bad but i like that there was accountability for that this season.

ginny and georgia!!! <333 i feel like this is the closest the two have ever been and i recognize the situation was very fucked up and traumatizing but i loved them being in each other’s corner. really embodied the us against the world thing

poor austin oh MY GOD he framed his own father for a murder he saw his mother commit that’s insaneee. he’s never ever going to be okay after this because even if his dad was an asshole, it was still his dad and he was good to austin so it’s bound to be scarring. like austin chose georgia over gil because like ginny said it came down to either his mom going to prison or his dad and that’s not a choice a kid should ever have to make

also see the way georgia has never once bad mouthed gil to austin even tho he abused her bc she wanted him to have a good image of his dad but gil started talking shit about georgia to austin the second he could says a lot

that scene where the CPS people (?) took ginny and austin from georgia’s house was so so sad

really enjoyed ginny and abby’s friendship this season

and omg max :(( i felt so incredibly bad for her. putting aside all the drama with her friends, the way she looked after marcus this season was so precious. she knew that if she told her parents, he wouldn’t talk to her, but she cared about him and did the right thing ultimately—i’m sure someday marcus will realise that she was really there for him and she possibly saved his life by pushing him to get the help he needs.

coming to her friends, they were genuinely mean to her a lot. max was unfair in the previous season but she clearly learnt from it and grew as a person and she kept thinking that she was the problem for a while but they did genuinely leave her out quite a lot and that never ever feels good.

the way when ginny got pregnant all she needed was her mom :((

JOE PUNCHED GIL !!!! JOE PUNCHED GIL !!!!

JOE AND GEORGIA KISSED !!!! they’re so endgame it has been obvious from the beginning but i’ll be honest i did start having my doubts when paul & georgia seemed to be doing so well. that ship has drowned now lmaoo BUT OMG THAT BABY BETTER NOT BE PAUL’S </3

also i’m kinda?? idk, happy for georgia? if she decided to keep the kid, that is, because she had ginny and austin when she was very very young and not at all stable so if she were to have a baby now in a better position in life that could be healing for her and maybe the cycle of traumatizing her children could finally end but who knows we will see. also would understand if she doesn’t want to have the baby but knowing georgia she probably will have it

[leafofkudzu]

Happy June, and happy Pride Month, everyone! As the start of Summer fast approaches, so too does the first Saturday of a new month - which means it's time for another art party hosted by my guild, [VS] Verdant Shield!

For those not familiar, art parties are a concept carried over from Final Fantasy XIV: in-game get-togethers for artists of all kinds to hang out, chat, and create together! For GW2 parties there’s more of an emphasis on hanging out and gathering references during the party itself, and then in the days/weeks following to work on your creations at your own pace and then post to the shared art party tag. We’ve used the same one (#VSArtParty) since the very beginning so you can go allll the way back and explore what people have made! The most important thing to keep in mind though is this: the ‘goal’ of an art party isn’t to be drawn, but to draw others, and share with the community!

Time and /squadjoin information is below the cut, but will also be posted again on the day of the party as squads go up!

Location Information:

I'm not particularly keen on setting up shop directly in Lion's Arch for any of these events (mapchat would probably be insufferable), so the gates outside in Gendarran Fields will have to do! Later this month everyone will be passing through these gates during the annual Tyria Pride event, so I thought it would be cute and thematically appropriate! You can get there from the obvious Cornucopian Fields Waypoint, or of course from going out the gate in the North of Lion's Arch (Trader's Forum Waypoint would be the closest)!

Time & Squad Details:

As always, there’ll be two parties - the first one on EU servers and the second on NA ones - with an hour break in between!

The EU server party will begin at 9pm Central European Summer Time (aka 3pm Eastern Daylight Time or 5 hours before in-game reset). I’ll be hosting this one on my EU alt account, so please either /whisper or /squadjoin Ashelin Falstaff for a taxi invite if you don’t end up on the right map!

The NA server party will begin 1 hour after the EU party’s official end, at 7pm Eastern Daylight Time (aka 1am Central European Summer Time or 1 hour before in-game reset). I’ll be on my main account for this one, so please /whisper or /squadjoin Kirslyn for a taxi invite if you don’t see my customary white cat tag hanging around on your map!

Closing Words:

As should be pretty obvious from all the rainbow post theming, feel free to bring your Pride-themed characters and outfits if you like! Of course if you don't have any, don't feel up to it, or just simply would rather show off a different style of character, feel free to do that instead! This is, as always, the type of event that's focused on self-expression, in whatever form that may take for you! Take care of yourselves everyone, and I'll see you all on Saturday! ♥

[minyard-05]

ok so i had a conversation with @thegoliathbeetle about this and it was interesting so i'm going to post about it more

in the extra content, in regards to the foxes' reactions to kevin after riko's death, nora says: "It'll take time for them [The Foxes] to try and understand where he's coming from. Even Aaron has an awful opinion on the matter since he knows Riko was behind Drake."

now a common take i've seen more often recently is people claiming aaron would understand why kevin reacted the way he did to riko's death, because aaron missed his mother after she died in the same way. this obviously is not what the extra content says, and i think it comes in part with the fact that comparatively we don't see a lot of aaron in canon, and this means that common interpretations of his character can deviate slightly from the source material (not anyone's fault of course and not necessarily a bad thing, but i think it can skew some people's perspectives when it comes to details like this)

while i agree with the above idea that aaron would understand eventually, i also think that, in short, at this point in canon aaron minyard is not emotionally intelligent enough to understand and recognise this in himself.

simply put, he doesn't get or accept kevin mourning riko, because in his eyes, riko was a LOT worse than tilda was. aaron is of the opinion that his mother's collateral damage was conserved to only hurting herself and aaron, whereas riko relished in causing pain, spent his time torturing all of the ravens, had seth killed, and he targeted aaron's family multiple times. nora said it herself, aaron knew that riko was responsible for drake, so in his eyes, that's no contest– riko was far worse than tilda ever was. and maybe this is true.

aaron is also somewhat of a hypocrite: he knows kevin was abused, it's obvious that kevin was abused by riko but what aaron doesn't have firstly is the why– it's not common knowledge that riko was being abused by tetsuji as well, so to an outsider he just seems like a power-hungry monster who lived to hurt people and got what he deserved in the end. and to aaron, this looks open-and-shut, simple. kevin shouldn't mourn riko because riko wasn't worth mourning. aaron, at this point in canon, will not draw those parallels between what happened to him with tilda and what happened to kevin with riko– because aaron is still not ready to admit that what happened to him was abuse.

he will tie himself in knots trying to make it work, trying to argue that of course kevin and jean never deserved what happened to them, but aaron did fuck up a lot as a kid, so every time he got hit it was because he earned it. he'll argue that after she was done hitting him, tilda would leave him alone and he could recover on his own time, but kevin and jean used to have to play with their injuries, so it was worse, so it was abuse. aaron will grasp at any straw he can catch to plead that what happened to him when he was a kid wasn't abuse and it was normal– because if the truth is otherwise, then it makes him a victim, and at age 20 he is not ready to process that. (this is a longer post so i'll leave this point here)

it's easy for us as an audience to draw the parallels between aaron's grief over losing tilda and kevin's grief over losing riko, because we have all of the information and we have the ability to textually analyse the characters. but aaron is a very logical person and in his eyes, kevin's grief makes no sense, because riko was a monster, and then a brother. but he thinks that mourning tilda did make sense, because she was his mother, and then a monster. he's not viewing those scenarios on the same level, and so he's not making the connections we're making.

all this to say, i believe that there will come a time, eventually, when aaron will start to think a little more about kevin and what losing riko was like, and he will begin to understand that while they didn't have the same experiences, the mark left on each of them by riko and tilda is similar, and that aaron's grief over losing tilda despite what she did to him is not different to how kevin felt about riko. but this is going to take time. by the time TKM happens, aaron still hasn't let go of tilda, let alone begun to work his own way through what he went through when she was alive. that's a much longer journey, but one he will complete eventually, and one day maybe he'll even talk about it. but healing takes time, and aaron has only just really gotten started.

[graveantics]

Read my mind (and heart)

A drabble i made back in march about a mind reading!reader and a pathetic yearning loser childe

*italics for thoughts

"You're avoiding me."

You do nothing but avoid his eye contact, trying to let go of the grip he has on you. But he noticed and tightens his grip Don't run away from me again.

"....I've been busy." No you haven't.

"No you haven't." Oh hey that's what you just thought.

"Did...You find out..? Is that why you're avoiding me?" he looks at you. Do you hate the idea of me being in love with you that much.

His thoughts stab into your guilty conscience. "I..Um. May have known from the beginning." Silence from Childe's end. However not very similar, are his thoughts.

How!? Did Xiao tell them. Was I really that obvious. DID HE TELL THEM ABOUT THE SONGS—

"Please stop thinking." He blinks at your words. His normally crowded mind is finally quiet since the first time you met him. "Xiao didn't tell me anything, and you weren't too obvious." Childe's brows are furrowed, you watch his expression shift from shock to understanding as he puts the pieces together. "Did you...read my mind...?"

This time it's your turn to be silent. You only nod, with eyes averted away. The overwhelming guilt that you've held since developing this power envelops you.

"I'm really sorry, it's incredibly intrusive of me. And I don't really know how to NOT do it so I couldn't help it. I understand if you think it's freaky of me to be knowing your secrets—"

I told my friends I'd gladly write a 5000 word essay on how beautiful you are when you smile.

"W..What?"

I bought clothes online that are couples special because I imagine us wearing them on dates

"Childe!"

I didn't come in on Valentine's day because i got so excited about giving you chocolates, That I couldn't sleep the whole night and passed out till noon.

"YOU WHAT?"

"You really can read my mind." Childe finally speaks.

"You tested me by airing out all your embarrassing secrets? You really have no shame Childe."

He only grins at that, with red visibly tinting his cheeks It is embarrassing, so much that I want to bury myself alive. But that means you know how serious I am about you. He grabs your hand, it's warm. The sound of his heart and real voice overlaps.

"I wouldn't be able to hide it from you forever. I like you a lot, [name]."

[lohotine]

two time x reader smut PLEASE I LVE UR WRITING

Two Time x AFAB! Reader

Cw: NSFW, Friends w/ benefits, Two Time is a perv, post forsaken Au?, not at ALL proofread

In which you pleasure yourself with the water from your shower head, and your roommate offers to "help you out."

Your clothes were already thrown in the hamper, long since off your mind. Yet, you didn't exactly enter the bathroom for the sole purpose of cleanliness....

Embarrassingly enough, you've been feeling rather pent up lately... Oh well! Nothing that can't be solved.

You flicked through the different modes of the shower head, having a very particular one in mind. You grinned hazily at the thought...

Before you knew it, the head was already being pressed against your needy cunt, the constant stream of pressure sending waves of heat through your body.

God, this was exactly what you needed... You didn't even think much of the small moans that escaped your lips.

It wasn't like your roommate would be paying that much attention anyway, right? That weirdo was probably too busy praying to their god or something.

Whatever it was, it clearly didn't concern you.

Unfortunately for you, Two Time was much more observant than you originally gave them credit for.

They noticed the way your mind today constantly appeared to be... elsewhere.

And the way you'd rub your thighs together when you thought they weren't paying attention.

So of course, when you stumble your way into the bathroom, looking flushed, they simply must trail behind you.

They aren't stupid. It's quite obvious, at least to them, when you're feeling pent up. Your tells are just oh so obvious!

So, is it really a surprise when they press their ear to the bathroom door to try and hear something... anything at all from your end?

They're nearly drooling at the thought of you in there. How perhaps, you're using your fingers to get yourself off.

They can already imagine the image in their head; how your fingers pump in and out of you tirelessly, covered in your slick.

And you don't disappoint their expectations in the slightest, as they pick up your stiffled whines through the door and even through the running water.

Fuck.... your moans sound so heavenly. Two Time almost instantly begins to palm their quickly hardening dick that's already starting to tent in their pants.

Perhaps they should feel bad... jerking off to your moans as if you're some sort of porn video.

But they don't. They don't even feel the slightest bit guilty.

What they do feel, however, is a sense of... jealousy.

They're almost certain that they could make you feel so much better than whatever it is you're using in there.

Could make you scream so much louder.

Perhaps they could convince you. It's not like you're really thinking straight anyway right now.

And they do just that;

They could probably just slip into the bathroom quickly. Neither of you usually lock the doors anyway, since a shower curtain is in use.

Sometimes one of you goes through your nightly routine while the other showers, so it wouldn't seem too out of the ordinary..

The only warning you get is a knock and a quick "Hey, I forgot something in there," before they slide into the bathroom with you.

That shuts you up instantly, an almost shameful silence befalling you.

"Oh, uh... okay-" you mutter. Two Time does not miss the slight waver in your voice, a grin forming on their face.

When they enter the bathroom, the first thing they look for is the shadow of your figure through the curtain.

And they are, once again, not left disappointed when they see you leaned against the wall, with the shower head still between your legs.

It's perfect. You're even more desperate than they imagined.

But honestly, Two Time never really took you for the type...

They make sure to drink in every inch of your silhouette. Fuck.... the things they wish they could do to you....

Would you let them?

"You uh.... seem like you could use help..." Two Time admits, feeling only somewhat guilty for being so brazen.

A small whimper escapes your lips. "What are you talking about?"

You both know exactly what they're talking about.

"I can make you feel so good, if only you'd allow me to," they'd say, leaning against the wall expectantly.

And you want to say no; but you cannot deny how tempting it sounds to get dicked down by Two Time. Especially in your current state.

So, when the small words of agreement escape your lips, Two Time is already scrambling to remove all of their clothing and join you behind the shower curtains.

They snicker a bit, seeing your pathetic form.

"The shower head? Really?"

Your face flares up. Can't they just help you instead of mocking you like this? Like they said they would?

"Shut up-"

Two Time cuts your sentence short by pressing their mouth to yours. It's hot, desperate.

Two Time presses the head harder against your clit, and the constant pressure makes your mind numb.

"I can make you feel so much better," they mumble into your mouth. Their kisses slowly begin to get sloppier, and then they trail down your neck.

Two Time sucks the skin there, before nipping at your pulse point. You shudder at the sensation, and Two Time gazes at you with amusement.

It's the kind of gaze that makes you feel less like a person and more like a piece of meat.

"Sensitive spot, huh? I'll make sure to keep that in mind..."

They take the shower head from your already shaking hands and nudge their knee there instead. It's placed on the shelf nearby and quickly forgotten. Two Time's hand trails down your side, slowly, deliberately.

Then they grab your thigh and hitch your leg up around their hip.

"I must be in the Spawn's favor to be blessed by such a sight," Two Time would murmur, almost mindlessly.

Two of their lean fingers begin to prod at your exposed entrance, collecting slick on them.

Was it wrong to feel this turned on by your weird, cultist roommate who had the audacity to mention their god while preparing to fuck you against the shower wall?

Well, maybe only a little bit.

You gasp as the digits slide almost effortlessly into you. Two Time pays very close attention to how your pussy flutters around them and coats them with your juices.

Two Time can't help but wonder what it would taste like. What you would taste like.

The thought is so erotic, and Two Time quickly feels themself becoming more desperate by the second.

Their fingers work to stretch you out, slowly; so slowly it's almost painful. You heave erratically. They're so deliberate in it... suspiciously so.

As Two Time feels you clutch around their fingers, they can't stop their mind from wandering...

You already feel so good... how would you feel around them? What sounds would you make?

"Fuck... I cant hold myself back anymore..." they'd hiss under their breath, their fingers slipping out of you to instead, wrap around their length. "Please.... let me do this for you... please... let me make you feel good- I promise... I'll be good..."

They're begging for this. Less with the idea of pleasing you, and more with the idea of you. But they're begging nonetheless.

Two Time guides the head of their cock to prod at your entrance, already sliding the tip in without your permission.

Their face is hazy with pure, unadulterated lust. They're just as needy for this as you are.

You let out a choked moan as you feel them already entering you, and then nod your head quickly.

The room is spinning around you.

Gods, you wanted this. You wanted your perverted roommate to fuck you senseless- until the only sounds you could make were broken moans and the syllables of their name.

And as soon as they saw that nod, they shoved the rest of their twitching cock into you. A vulgar noise left you, one that could only be described as pure desperation.

You were already so sensitive from your earlier menstruations with the shower head, so you were practically putty in their hands.

But hell, Two Time couldn't have came to help you out at a better moment...

They slid in and out of you at a pace that had you basically drooling. The tip of their length came to kiss your cervix so perfectly, over and over and over again.

Two Time muffled your moans with their mouth, choking you out with their tongue.

"By the Spawn... you feel s'good... so perfect..."

Their thumb came down between you two, and it quickly started to rub circles around your nub.

You already felt so overstimulated... you couldn't even form words anymore- you could only moan like some pathetic bitch in heat.

And fuck, Two Time would be lying if they said they'd never imagined this before:

Fucking you, tasting you, hearing you.

Sometimes, they'd lay awake at night after fishing out one of your dirty panties from the hamper and jerk off to your scent. They'd pretend their hand was your cunt, and they would fuck into it desperately.

Now they were actually fucking you and it felt like heaven.

They were actually acting out their lewd fantasies with you-

You didn't last long at all. Not with how close you had already gotten yourself with the shower head; so Two Time was basically just fucking you through your high.

"P- lease..." you'd whimper, voice giving out.

Did you know what you were asking for?

Hell no!

But you needed something, anything... as long as it was something Two Time gave...

Your noises only helped to spur them on more.

Fuck... they were also close... They couldn't help it. You felt so so good. Better than their hand, at least.

Everything has long since become a hazy, hot blur to the both of you, the only noises being your moans and the wet noises of skin on skin.

"Hah.... maybe... next time, we can take this to the bedroom..."

Two Time whimpers as they feel themselves getting closer.

They wonder if maybe one day, they could convince you to let them cum in your mouth and force you to swallow all of it.

Or... maybe they'd just fill you up and watch it leak out of you...

...

Some other day, perhaps.

With one final thrust, they quickly pull out of your abused cunt and press their dick onto your stomach, releasing thick, hot spurts of their cum all over you.

It's a mind-numbing release for the both of you, and for a while, nobody says anything.

Their breaths are ragged and heavy as they admire their seed coating your belly. Two Time grins at your exhausted form and brings their lips close to your ear.

[that-wildwolf]

A Queer Reading of Mass Effect - Garrus Vakarian and Demisexuality

Despite the title this is really not a structured formal paper, more like just some rambly analysis from someone who is both queer and deeply obsessed with these fictional characters.

An obvious disclaimer is that this is my headcanon and personal interpretation, etc, etc. There are many ways to read this character and relationships, and this is just one of them, etc etc. You know the drill. Under no circumstances am I saying I'm right and everyone else is wrong, just presenting this particular reading of the character.

So. Garrus Vakarian. Best sniper boyfriend, bad boy turian, Archangel. Also, unintentional but great demisexual representation.

Now there's really no way to analyse all of Garrus' romantic relationships (the only one we know of from his past is his own account and that one is also only presented as a hookup/one night stand. I will return to this later. I think I will, at least. I don't have a plan here.) but there are two romantic relationships he can enter over the course of the three games: one with Commander Shepard or with Tali'Zorah.

Now, the latter is… not handled the best way in the games, in my opinion, and speaks of a wider issue with aphobia in not just the gaming industry but in media in general, but that's its own separate discussion. For the purposes of this analysis, however, I will be looking at Garrus's possible relationship with Tali. It's clear those two are good friends. It's also important to note here that out of those two relationships, neither starts as romantic and rather is built first as a friendship and only eventually and potentially turns romantic or sexual much later on. The earliest Garrus can enter a romantic relationship is (though this is depending on playstyle) near the end of the second game of the trilogy, which makes more than half of the relationship we see him have with Shepard as more platonic than romantic (although admittedly those lines are rather blurry in the second game. More on that later.)

Back to Tali. They are friends first and know each other extremely well. I will not be going very deeply into this relationship because of how I feel about the way BioWare handled it, but for the sake of full transparency in this analysis, the game itself does present that relationship (also interesting side note while we're on the subject: out of the only two women we see Garrus "dating", neither is his species) as based on their friendship and connection rather than Garrus being physically attracted to Tali (in fact, it can be argued he didn't even know what she looked like at all prior to the two of them hooking up). Even though this is presented as more of a stress relief or friends with benefits situation than an actual romantic relationship, it is clear those two only chose each other because they were already close friends not because they saw each other as physically attractive.

This very nicely brings us (back?) to Garrus and his relationship with Shepard. Due to the way the games are structured and with Shepard being the main character, this is obviously going to be the largest section of this analysis, not just because of my personal emotional investment in this relationship but because of the largest abundance of material to analyse here.

The way Shepard and Garrus's relationship starts is… interesting. For the entirety of the first game, their dynamic is closer to that of a mentor and mentee and eventually of two friends, and there is very little hints of any seuxual/romantic feelings between those two.

ID: Garrus might have started to have feelings of some sort for Shepard at this point.

This base of friendship and mutual respect is extremely important to keep in mind especially with what comes later. The Shepard/Garrus relationship (from here on now referred to as 'Shakarian' for brevity's sake) begins in a way that is very different from most other video game romances (and most romances, really). It starts with Garrus stating outright that he is not attracted to Shepard. Now, there is definitely a lot more going on here than just taking what he says at face value, but it is also important to note that he has no reason to lie to Shepard here and in all likelihood, he truly believes what he's saying here.

Shepard proposes sex, essentially asking Garrus how he feels about adding benefits to their friendship. Throughout that whole conversation, neither of them highlights physical attraction. In fact, the way they're acting would suggest that's not even part of the equation here, or not a very important one at least. What they talk about instead is trust and respect.

ID: Shepard saying "I don't want something closer to home. I want you. I want someone I can trust."

Garrus agrees to Shepard's proposition not by saying he's always liked her or that they would make a good couple or anything like that. He says she's his best friend. Again the friendship is highlighted here so much and especially in direct opposition with the lack of physical attraction. As they go ahead with this, they're constantly talking about this connection they have — I want you, I want someone I can trust, you're my closest friend, if we're about to die I want to have a moment to cherish that's just the two of us… It's clear this is about more than just sex, to the both of them, but the feelings shown here do not come from physical attraction but from emotional connection.

I could analyse the Mass Effect 2 Shakarian romance scene to the moon and back and still have things to say, especially with regard to the demisexual reading of Garrus's character, but this post is running long as it is. Garrus is nervous and awkward and emotionally vulnerable. Any remaining conviction that this is about stress relief is at this point ultimately shattered.

Then cue Mass Effect 3. After six months apart, it is clear the relationship between Shepard and Garrus is… different from what we saw at the end of the previous game. The way they interact now, even before eventually officially reaffirming their relationship, is more unambiguously romantic. The physical touch between them is very deliberate, with particular attention given to their hands: they touch, shake and hold hands, tenderly cup each other's cheeks. It is clear at this point to the characters perhaps as much as to the audience that this is no longer about stress relief (and that's assuming that's all it ever was at any point, which can also be argued was not the case). Along with this deepened emotional connection between them, so does develop the way Garrus talks to and about Shepard. There are parts of Mass effect 3 where Garrus seems fully confident in the relationship and it does not seem to just be banter or joking. As he starts seeing Shepard as not just his friend but as his girlfriend, so does change the way he looks at her not as a human but as a woman. As a beautiful woman, even — something he would not have thought of her at the beginning of their relationship.

I would also be amiss if I didn't mention the way Garrus acts in the Citadel DLC and contrast it to his behaviour from Mass Effect 2 in particular. While definitely not "canon" in the way the games themselves are, the DLCs are also, for better or worse, officially released content in the universe of Mass Effect. (In the case of the Citadel DLC, thankfully mostly for better.) Everything in here should be taken with a grain of salt, especially with the romanceable characters, as the foremost role of this DLC is as something of fan service meant to give the series a happier sendoff than the actual ending. That being said, it is very interesting to see Garrus at a point in time (unspecified but although canonically this takes place before Cronos Station, the characters for the most part act more free and familiar and could be argued as though this takes place post canon — while I do not subscribe to this reading of the Citadel DLC, I thought it important to also point that out) where he and Shepard have been in a relationship for a longer period of time and he feels more confident in both the relationship and his role as Shepard's partner.

Garrus in the Citadel DLC joyfully asserts himself as Shepard's boyfriend (a word he only describes himself with once in the canon Mass Effect 3 if I'm correct) and proclaims his affection for her out loud and repeatedly. What's particularly interesting to note here is how often he refers to her being beautiful or attractive here. The "nice outfit" line is not exclusive to the Garrus romance, so it would feel dishonest to include it in an analysis of this character specifically, but there is a lot Garrus says about Shepard that other characters do not. He brings it back to how lucky he is to be with her and implies others might see her as a desirable partner. The "I love your hair and I'm pretty damned partial to the rest of you too" line always stood out to me. This can be read as just a cute nod to him finding her most alien features attractive, but it also speaks to him seeing her as attractive in general. The "hell if I know" conversation where he talks about how good she looked wearing her fancy outfit at the casino also comes across as genuine. It's fascinating to see him so forthright about his attraction to her at this point in time when put in contrast with him in Mass Effect 2 being so forthright about the lack of that attraction.

It is clear, very clear, that throughout their relationship Garrus grows to deeply love Shepard not because of her alienness or in spite of it, but completely separately from it. He acknowledges that she is human and that it is not something he is attracted to, but cares about her so deeply that it does not factor into the decision to agree to her proposition and entering into a relationship with her. The relationship they build together is one that is shown to be built on trust and mutual respect, in fact more so than any actual "feelings", which is admittedly a departure from what might instantly come to mind when one considers love, especially between two fictional characters. But aside from their confidence in their connection and in each other, there's another thing that grows in this relationship, once given time: Garrus's attraction to Shepard, something he initially was striaghtforward and realistic (Garrus, ever the realist, ever saying it as it is) about in saying that he did not see her that way. Then, giving time to their relationship and after letting their connection deepen, letting their emotional bond become stronger, Garrus finds himself attracted to Shepard not just emotionally but physically as well.

And definitely some might argue that after being with a human sexually and romantically for some time, Garrus has simply started to see humans as potentially desirable too, but we never see Garrus interested in any humans besides Shepard (RIP Chloe Michel's unrequited crush on this guy) so there is really no evidence either way here. And there are many ways to read this characterisation other than "this character is demisexual", but that is certainly the impression I am getting from the way this relationship progresses and the fact that he never mentions being attracted to anyone else, neither Tali in their possible brief hookup near the end of ME3 nor the scout from his story. In fact, he doesn't seem to pay much attention to phsyical appearance of potential partners whatsoever until his relationship with Shepard grows more intimate to allow him to find those feelings for her along the way despite not having them to start with. And that, at the very least, reads as extremely demisexual to me.

Happy Pride!

[gold-rhine]

the missed potential of kinich's mercenary personality is why his chronicle was so disappointing to me. i loved the five seconds he talked about his ancient name, mostly bc i thought he was gonna elaborate more later on. the recen event quest distracted me with ororon's bonkers dialogue to be too disappointed in the missed opportunity with kinich. it feels like hoyo committed to kinich being very pragmatic but they don't want him to come off as cruel so they just write him as little as possible

agree, 0,005 seconds kinich was in his quest were very interesting and this is also why i was hooked at the beginning. okay tinfoil hat conspiracy theory time - i think hoyo had stuff planned for kinich and that it was supposed to go down in natlan finale. like to start, natlan finale had no plot and was very obviously filler that felt very rushed and last minute.

but also, kinich is like the only one in the main cast who got NOTHING, even xilonen had like scraps of the ancient name forging, but you can replace kinich with a wooden sign with his ancient name on it and nothing would have changed.

and his ancient name, Turnfire, is like. craaazy specific with very specific backstory. like everyone else is like Unity, Power, Leader, Hope, etc, generic positive things. But Turnfire backstory is about how the half dragon tyrant ochkan had this cursed fire that would kill ppl only if they turned back, and how one of his friends stole it from ochkan and used against his armies to overthrow him, but he heard ochkan's voice and couldn't help but turn back himself and die to this very fire. and how it can't be put out, it burned through leylines and is still burning in the night kingdom. like this is very cool setup with themes of betrayal, sacrifice, paying a high price for victory. like its sooo elaborate and specific, it feels to me like a setup that was going to pay off in the finale, that his cursed fire that never goes out will be used somehow.

bc like rn they just walked into abyss straight to the main boss and mavuika just soloed it and thats it, the whole finale plot not counting the 5 minutes capitano ronova speedrun that doesn't have anything to do with the abyss itself. maybe the turnfire would have to be used to burn through the abyss to get to the main boss, but it burns leylines too. maybe to play on the mercenary angle, kinich pretends to betray natlan and idk, extinguish the primal fire with turnfire, so the abyss boss shows up to attack, but its a trap and they kill him. like SOMETHING about risky play with high price that uses turnfire. like the WHOLE gimmick of abyss invasion was abyss mimics, the dark versions of natlan people and saurians, so dark version of the primal fire that was set up with a tie to one of the main cast looks like a no brainer checkhov's gun, but it was somehow never used AT ALL.

bc WHY even spend so much effort on that turnfire shit, like if you just want kinich in the story with zero effort, most obvious arc for him is mini han solo, mercenary that starts helping heroes for a price, but then learns power of friendship and stays for his friends. like that would take 20 minutes of writing in all of the acts. WHY do the complicated turnfire shit instead. like it really feels to me that the finale was screwed for some reason and so kinich got screwed too

[syndrossi]

Regret!AU question:

I know you're busy thinking about the reactions of characters like, you know, Daemon and Rhaenyra, but how does Alicent react to Jon and Rhaegar as toddlers? They're adorable and, let's face it, in the famous toddler stage of hugging strangers like (poor Daemon, lol) AND she's still in her Emily Carey era, so how does this impact her? Does she fall in love with them too? I assume there's some overlap re: the children being the same ages. Maybe this could even be a bridge for Alicent and Rhaenyra!?

Look, all I'm saying is that these magic toddlers could collectively prevent a civil war. 🤷‍♀️ Through sheer adorableness.

It's an interesting time for Alicent. I swap between show-hybrid and book Alicent depending on AU (for AUs set further back, aka Regnal and Aemon's Sons, I use book canon). For Regret, I'd probably go with the Resonant-type Alicent, which is mostly show!Alicent.

One big alienating event for them really does seem to be the maidenhead crisis, which is not happening for obvious reasons in Regret AU. (Daemon had to go pick up his twins! And then get captured.) In show canon, it was a catalyst for Alicent to really embrace a sense of moral superiority where Rhaenyra is concerned, aka "oh noes Rhaenyra is a LYING WHORE she could do ANYTHING like murder my children." It also seemed to me like the start of her embracing a sort of cynicism about people in general but especially Rhaenyra.

So they were kinda-sorta in the making up phase when Vale hell broke loose, and I could see Alicent maybe hoping that Rhaenyra becoming fond of Daemon's toddlers means she'll extend that same warmth to her half-siblings (and that she and Rhaenyra can bond that way). I do think that Otto will be doing his best to sabotage things there, especially when it starts looking like Rhaenyra and Daemon will be married. He can tailor it to make Daemon more the villain ("he's power-hungry, as soon as he has a son with Rhaenyra, he'll be looking to be rid of yours"). So how much of that Alicent takes to heart and even broaches with Rhaenyra could impact their relationship.

As for her reaction to the toddlers...hm. They're very sweet, so I could see her thinking that they're adorable. But there are opportunities for resentment as well: how much Viserys dotes on them versus his own sons, how much easier they are to manage versus Aemond or even the year-older Aegon, the fact that Rhaenyra doesn't have to perform the same motherly duties and can take a more hands-off "auntie-like" role. Or if she does embrace more of a maternal role with them prior to her match, the fact that she didn't have to bear them and Daemon still seems to do the brunt of the rearing. Comparison is the thief of joy, and Alicent doesn't have a ton of joy to begin with.

But cute toddlers playing together is very powerful, and perhaps there are trips to the Giant's Toe where both families can enjoy some leisure time away from King's Landing.

Balanced against Otto's fearmongering over Rhaenyra taking more responsibilities like the situation in the Vale, the overwhelming balance of dragon's in Rhaenyra's favor, etc.

[mosquitoonyourwall]

I took the time to analyze the new character posters for Squid Game and I’m briefly gonna break down what each one might mean. This could all literally mean nothing but oh well. This is gonna be a long one

Gi-hun

Background resembles the scratch away art notebook things. The one with the wooden utensils. Possibly representing what’s going to be revealed to Gi-hun and/or what’s going to be revealed about his character. There’s a few houses in the background, including a two-story home. On the wall behind him, there’s fruits drawn out. I’m guessing those are either apples or peaches. Apples typically represent knowledge, immortality, temptation, fall of man and sin. All very biblical. Peaches also represent immortality, but a few other resources say that they can also represent longevity, fertility and new life, completion of a goal. Either way, I do think Gi-hun’s poster hints at him surviving and completing his mission. I think the multiple houses could represent him getting custody of his daughter and she would be bouncing between two homes.

In-ho

Only one with a background not depicted using children’s art. In a jungle, showing that he’s a predator/in the predator’s space. The venus fly traps and a variety of ferns. Fly traps can represent persistence, danger, and deception. Ferns in different cultures represent resistance, growth, and new life. Ferns are also some of Earth’s oldest plants. They’re endurance is incredible. I don’t think that this necessarily means In-ho is going to survive, but rather his change in opinions due to Jun-ho and Gi-hun’s influence. The color scheme is also similar to the one in Gi-hun’s poster, representing how they mirror each other.

Myung-gi

Two homes, handprint paintings. This one is obvious. It’s Myung-gi’s wish to build a life with Jun-hee and their child. Interestingly, there’s two homes. Similar to Gi-hun’s background, I think this could mean that if Myung-gi and Jun-hee both survive, that they end up in a platonic co-parenting relationship. The sun is behind him. A rising sun typically represents birth and growth. We’ll possibly be getting some character development from Myung-gi.

Dae-ho

Just like Myung-gi, his poster has handprint paintings in the background. I think the handprints represent a child-like personality and kindness he exuded during the second season. There’s a flamingo and butterfly behind him. Flamingos symbolize balance, beauty, and potential. They can also represent romance but I doubt that has anything to do with his character. Butterflies symbolize transformation, hope, and rebirth. I do think we’re going to learn more about Dae-ho in the beginning of the season.

Hyun-ju

Lots of pink and blue, especially on the right side. I think that’s obvious since those are the colors of the trans flag. Thought that was cute. Multiple homes, probably a neighborhood. A dog and a person in the background. Definitely showing her desire for community and family. There’s also two people(?) in the window of the orange house. I genuinely have no idea what that could possibly mean, so I’m going to straight up guess. Her parents or maybe neighbors. Their eyes are on her, representing that people have been judging her since she came out.

Yong-sik

Grasping at straws with this one. This is gonna be short. He’s the only one looking away from the camera. Probably gonna die in the first episode tbh. Birds on the ceiling, I think they’re eurasian blue tits. Which represent love, faith, hope, and honor. He’s probably going to die to save his mother.

Geum-ja

Same blue background on her son! Represents them and their relationship obviously. Behind her is a rainbow which can represent a lot of things! Hope, beauty, good luck. If we’re looking at this through the lens of the queer community, inclusivity and embracing others. Overall, I do think her poster represents her love that she’s extended towards her own team and Gi-hun’s team, particularly towards Hyun-ju and Jun-hee.

Jun-hee

F i s h. I feel like the super obvious meaning to her background is her water breaking. Water, ocean, haha. Turtles often symbolize wisdom, longevity, stability, and endurance. The octopus symbolizes intelligence, adaptability, and creativity. In my personal opinion, her background could also represent her getting on a boat and getting as far away from that island as she can.

[relenafanel]

wangxian modern au where lwj is mid-airport layover from hell and he finally sits down at the airport piano and plays [insert difficult song here]. He’s not playing for the other people in the airport, he’s playing for himself. He's never been as obvious about stress relief in his life.

At one point someone drops their bags next to him and puts together a flute in quick, familiar movements. He registers it out of the corner of his eye, feeling like his moment of enforced calm is being infringed on.

The man warms up by jumping in and out of lwj's playing, seemlessly transitioning into [insert difficult flute solo / duet].

lwj falls in love between one moment and the next.

"We're going to miss our plane!" someone yells at the man, physically tugging at his arm while grabbing his luggage off the floor.

The man's eyes meet lwj's and he grins, bright and beautiful, before disappearing into the crowd.

Oh no.

[an airport meet-cute]

here's how it could go~

[also i know nothing about music, if this is something you're passionate about i'm so sorry]

🎻a video of the incident goes viral on social media. it's easy to see lwj but not as easy to see the flutist.

🎻 lwj tries to find him. it's clear he's talented and has sufficient training to perform the way he did, so he asks around the classical musician world.

🎻the classical musician world is like 🤷‍♀️

🎻to be fair lwj's circle is very insular and he hasn't felt it as acutely as he does now

🎻wwx is not a classical musician but he does carry his flute around for his job. my fav headcanons include: a stand up comedian who will sometimes add sound effects, a street performer / social media star who's gimmick is street performer, a rap artist who uses it to destress but rarely plays for the public, not!lizzo, etc

🎻lwj is ready to see it as a missed opportunity, but then someone on social media recognizes wwx (has lwj made sm accounts for this? yes.)

🎻wwx begins getting tagged. he's shockedpikachu.gif over getting a msg from internationally renowned classical musician lwj, who he didn't recognize in the airport and now feels wildly feral about accidentally doing a duet with.

(i esp appreciate the headcanon that the piano isn't lwj's preferred instrument, so wwx knows who lwj is by reputation/music, but he doesn't think a lot about whether musicians like Lang Lang, Ludovico Einaudi, or Lan Wangji are hot as fire. )

🎻wtf

🎻he's also never given a thought to whether they're DATEABLE.

🎻 he's also not that good - it's not self esteem issues, he's just not on the same level as lwj. what if he's a disappointment? but, that's just with the flute. surely lwj wouldn't find him a disappointment in bed

🎻so they date; lwj doesn't

[thepoetress]

Okay, so I just read through the new Mizi comic

And my first reaction was just. Oh my god??? Mizi wasn't initially in my top 3 favorite alnst characters but she definitely is now like holy shit my girl is GOING THROUGH IT and I have so many thoughts on the new comic that I just have to share them. This post might be a bit long because of images and such, so my full thoughts and feelings are below the cut!

First off, these two panels at the beginning are terrifying.

Sua's eyes are hauntingly empty in these panels. It reminds you that she's dead, both internally and externally. Her stare is devoid of emotion, which contrasts with how Sua looked at Mizi when she was alive. It makes it more obvious that this Sua is a figment of Mizi's imagination, a visage of Mizi's god and universe born out of her survivor's guilt.

Next, the detail of the collars as Mizi and the boy talk.

The boy brings up Sua and Mizi's collar is green. But then, the boy brings up Till and now Mizi's collar is glowing red. It shows that Mizi doesn't like where the conversation is going.

Plus, the boy's collar is glowing orange/yellow from the start of their conversation. It's weird. And almost sort of indicates how the conversation is going to turn in a strange direction.

I can't tell if Mizi's collar is genuinely just orange or if it's red and just looks orange because of the lighting. Even if the light on her collar is unclear, it's still obvious that Mizi is not comfortable with this conversation.

Now, my next point is Mizi's eyes.

In the light, Mizi's eyes are very clearly a golden hue.

But then it's in this panel and the rest of the panels of her conversation with the boy that Mizi's eyes are green. It could just be lighting, but I thought it was interesting that her eyes changed color from her happy, golden-eyed stare to her despairing, green-eyed stare.

Additionally, Mizi loses the light in her eyes when the boy mentions that boys and girls can't be friends because they're destined to fall in love and mate.

In most media, when a drawn character is without light in their eyes, it's quite significant in meaning. In this case, it shows that Mizi truly believes that the idea of mating is gross. She just wants to be friends with people, just for the sake of friends, for their company. She doesn't want that kind of relationship, of being mating partners, between herself and someone else. Because she thinks it's gross.

Which leads me to my next point. Mizi's conversation with Sua after her conversation with the boy.

Sua compares her situation to Mizi's. Objectively, in her eyes, Mizi's situation is better than hers. Shine doesn't drag Mizi around and parade her like an animal, the way Nigeh does with Sua. From Sua's perspective, Mizi has it better. And it leaves Sua jealous. Jealous of Mizi's situation, jealous that Mizi could move through life like a carefree child in a world that is so cruel to them.

But even then, Mizi's happiness and naivety are Sua's comfort from the cruelty around them. As long as Sua keeps Mizi unaware and oblivious, Sua can keep her one and only comfort from the world around her and live in a perfect world where nothing is wrong and everything is as it should be.

But unbeknownst to Sua, she just spat the boy's words right back at Mizi.

"Must be nice, right?"

This one, singular phrase instills in Mizi the difference between her situation and the situation of her peers. Because, objectively, Mizi's situation is better than what they have. Mizi has it good, compared to her peers and the people she calls her friends. She has it better.

But Mizi doesn't want to acknowledge it. She wants to live in her perfect world where everything is kind and gentle and nothing is cruel.

Which makes me find it interesting that the background stays the same even though she just slapped Sua.

This background was our indicator that Mizi is now having a different flashback. It's blue and has imagery of space. The moon is there, there are ringed planets, and there are stars of all shapes present. It's representative of the world that Mizi and Sua have shaped for themselves. It's a perfect world where nothing cruel exists, and it's perfect because they have each other.

Mizi hurting Sua should logically be unfit for their perfect world. It should have snapped them both out of this perfect world. But even so, it didn't. They both are too enamoured with each other to take their rose-tinted glasses off. Even when Mizi surprisingly slaps Sua, their perfect world is still perfect because they're there together. It's still perfect because Mizi doesn't mean to hurt Sua. Mizi loves Sua too much to do that.

So, Mizi apologizes to Sua and Sua tells that it's fine. But even with Sua's comfort and her acceptance of Mizi's apology, Mizi can hear the boy's words echo back to her. "How cunning you are."

(Just to put this out there, I'm not too sure if the text bubble is Sua saying those words in the flashback or if it's just an echo of the boy's words that Mizi hears. The way I interpret it... It doesn't make sense for Sua to say this. Especially when Sua just wants Mizi to keep being oblivious to the cruelty of the world.)

Even then, the boy's words still haunt Mizi. Especially because he mentioned Till.

Mizi wants Till to stop liking her romantically. She asks him if it's so hard for him to not like her. And so when she asks him why he likes her...

He answers it's because she's pretty.

Not her personality. Not her humor. Not her talent in telling scary stories. Not her vibrant energy. None of that.

It's because she's pretty.

She's pleasing to the eyes. Objectively attractive, and what the aliens would want to see. She's beautiful like a sculpture that you'd look at from far away and doesn't move or show emotions besides the ones etched onto its face by its sculptor, and the aliens would rather see beauty than a disgusting and ugly human who moves and displays a wide range of emotions because a human is not an immovable piece of marble or clay.

Till's response quite obviously doesn't please Mizi.

It only serves as a reminder to her of the reality they live in. In their reality, male and female humans are expected to mate and produce offspring that grow to be objectively attractive and have the potential to participate in ALIEN STAGE.

And in the following panel, Mizi's collar flashes red again. Additionally, this is the first time we see the light on Mizi's collar throughout this conversation Mizi has with Till.

But in spite of this, Mizi puts on her facade and laughs jovially, hiding how she truly feels. Her laugh paired with her red collar light confuses Till.

After all, why is she laughing when it's clear by her collar that she is distressed?

Now, I want to talk about the lighting at the end of the comic. Specifically, the sparkling lights that overlay the lighting already present.

It looks like confetti.

And confetti is usually used in celebrations.

It contributes to what the visage Mizi created of herself from her survivor's guilt said.

"Well, you did great, playing dumb so you could survive. I'm so proud of you."

The confetti represents how in Mizi's eyes, she had played dumb throughout her life and it all contributed to her survival. And how in Mizi's eyes, she did a great fucking job in doing so since she practically ensured her own survival over the survival of her own friends.

[tivaforgood]

So, it's official: NCIS: Tony and Ziva is coming in August, which is only a few short weeks away!! Seriously… it'll fly by in the blink of an eye!

If you've been here for a while, you'll know that I'm a long-time Tiva lover, and this is the most excited for anything I have ever been, for obvious reasons!

But it recently dawned on me that there are people out there who may only be meeting Tony DiNozzo and Ziva David for the first time through the spinoff trailer, and wanting to watch the show because it looks awesome! (I wholeheartedly agree!)

Of course, this is a couple that spanned 8 years on NCIS, and over 190 episodes. That's a whole lot of television! While it is possible to watch all of them before the show premieres in August – and I would highly recommend it, as there's so many small moments you'd miss, and it's the best way to fully understand them –I realise that it might not be for everybody. If you only want to watch the mothership for Tiva, then you probably don't want to see most of the unnecessary filler episodes in the middle. Which is why I've made this – a breakdown of all Tiva episodes you need to watch before the spinoff comes out! (i.e things you need to see so there are very few gaps in your knowledge!) • Major Tiva episodes are highlighted in bold italics. • Anything else on the list are episodes that are recommended you watch, but which are not absolutely pivotal for you to be able to understand their story.

Season 3: (if you can, watch the whole thing.) 3x01: Kill Ari (Part 1) 3x02: Kill Ari (Part 2) 3x04: Silver War 3x06: The Voyeur's Web 3x08: Undercovers 3x09: Frame Up 3x10: Probie 3x12: Boxed In 3x22: Jeopardy 3x23: Hiatus (Part 1) 3x24: Hiatus (Part 2)

Season 4: (again, if you can, watch the whole thing.) 4x01: Shalom 4x09: Twisted Sister 4x16: Dead Man Walking 4x20: Cover Story 4x24: Angel of Death

Season 5: 5x01: Bury Your Dead 5x02: Family 5x10: Corporal Punishment 5x12: Stakeout 5x14: Internal Affairs 5x16: Recoil 5x18: Judgement Day (Part 1) 5x19: Judgement Day (Part 2)

Season 6: (yet again, watch the whole season.) 6x01: Last Man Standing 6x02: Agent Afloat 6x05: Nine Lives 6x08: Cloak 6x09: Dagger 6x22: Legend (Part 1) 6x23: Legend (Part 2) 6x24: Semper Fidelis 6x25: Aliyah Season 7: (and again, watch the whole thing.) 7x01: Truth or Consequences (THE ULTIMATE TIVA EPISODE) 7x02: Reunion 7x03: The Inside Man 7x04: Good Cop, Bad Cop 7x10: Faith 7x13: Jet Lag 7x18: Jurisdiction 7x24: Rule Fifty-One Season 8: (nothing is good about this season aside from these eps) 8x05: Dead Air 8x22: Baltimore 8x23: Swan Song 8x24: Pyramid Season 9: (I'd watch the whole thing.) 9x01: Nature of the Beast 9x11: Newborn King 9x12: Housekeeping 9x13: A Desperate Man 9x15: Secrets 9x23: Up in Smoke 9x24: Till Death Do Us Part Season 10: (Watch every episode. Trust me. This is THE Tiva season!) 10x01: Extreme Prejudice 10x02: Recovery 10x03: Phoenix 10x04: Lost at Sea 10x05: The Namesake 10x06: Shell Shock (Part 1) 10x07: Shell Shock (Part 2) 10x08: Gone 10x09: Devil's Trifecta 10x10: You Better Watch Out 10x11: Shabbat Shalom 10x12: Shiva 10x13: Hit and Run 10x14: Canary 10x15: Hereafter 10x16: Detour 10x17: Prime Suspect 10x18: Seek 10x19: Squall 10x20: Chasing Ghosts 10x21: Berlin 10x22: Revenge 10x23: Double Blind 10x24: Damned If You Do Season 11: 11x01: Whiskey Tango Foxtrot 11x02: Past, Present and Future Season 13: 13x23: Dead Letter 13x24: Family First Season 16: 16x13: She 16x24: Daughters Season 17: 17x01: Out of the Darkness 17x02: Into the Light 17x10: The North Pole 17x11: In the Wind [the spinoff begins directly after the events of this episode!]

Perhaps I'm biased, but if you can watch all 190-odd episodes, do it. It's the best way to truly understand these two characters and their relationship (and everything they've been through). And I feel it likely that the spinoff will contain small easter eggs and references to tiny Tiva moments, so to appreciate and recognise them all, I highly recommend watching every Tiva episode in existence! <3