#it was so instense
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#I'm sick and there's a weather happening#and I've been watching the twitter *gestures vaguely* happen#and baking#the combination of which has me in my feelings about Getting Online in 2009ish#figuring out how to join fandom community through ff.n comments and twitter hashtags#how intense those friendships were#i have no idea what some of those people are doing today#and I'm so greatful for the lessons i learned and the friendships I've kept#but also I made a lot of mistakes#it was so instense#to be 20 and feel a part of something cool#and i also wonder a lot how some of those people i lost touch with are doing#did g figure it out? is i happy and thriving? does n ever feel satisfied?#this is mostly the fever#but wow life is long and people really do walk in and out of your life / you walk in and out of theirs
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I'm listening to malevolent and so far every time something is revealed or something major happens I feel like this
#the plot is constantly thickening and im watching it unfold in front of me like 😧#''he said WHAT '' '' YOU DID WGAT?'' ''HE IS *WHO*'' ''**THEYRE WHERE????????**''#10/10 loving it so far#on the second major fight between arthur and john i dont think the relationship is surviving this one boys#dead daughters were brought up. yeah its getting prrretty instense id say#talk#malevolent#IM ON EP 18#please dont spoil anything for me im enjoying putting the pieces together on my own ^_____^
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I think once you've watched crown of candy something just irreversibly changes in your brain. There's no going back you just have to be insane about that whole universe forever sorry
#and after ravening war????????? there's no hope youre too far gone#god im so insane about the whole goddamn world and setting and everything WHY does it continually produce such UTTERLY TRAGIC CHARACTERS#its literally just haha food world heeheehoo but no actually its the most instense and rich setting youve ever FUCKING seen in your life#there is nothing like it and i will never recover from it#if i cpuld choose one d20 setting to have a full podcast style campaign ala crit role/naddpod/jrwi it would be calorum every time#d20#dimension 20#dimension twenty#calorum#dimension 20 acoc#acoc#a crown of candy#d20 acoc#the ravening war#ravening war#ravwar#d20 the ravening war#d20 ravening war#d20 ravwar
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checked out of reality yesterday and went into the mountains
#photographers on tumblr#photography#naturecore#haven’t been here in a while#and I missed it so much#something about the mountains and how they ease the soul#no service#no worries#just in awe the whole time#anyways#was welcomed by some instense fog#and if you know me#gloomy days are my favorite days#found a million and 1 mushrooms#but was getting dark so my camera wasn’t having it#and stupid me forgot my tripod so handheld long exposures have to do#planning another trip for some leaf peepin’ since my friend had to bail#happy she’s feeling better tho 🥰#mine#mountains#white mountains
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god the hits really don’t stop fucking coming do they.
#genuinely cannot take much more of this#i hit my limit about 4 weeks ago#and it just won’t fucking stop#coming up on six weeks of having varying levels of Horrors(tm) happening to me on a weekly basis#and sometimes multiple Horrors(tm) in a week#lost my job#my cat died#had an asbestos scare#my partner’s cat almost died#he had to have emergency surgery#and then when he came home had to go straight back to the emergency vet to have emergency surgery a second time bc they fucked up#had a huge fight with my partner bc oh yeah this whole time we’ve also been moving!!!#but there was some stupidly unnecessary drama around the security deposit/getting the old house clean#and this whole time while grieving and losing my income and all of this shit I am also still a disabled/chronically ill person#so I’m forcing my body to keep working through increasingly instense flare ups#on top of all of this we have a houseguest who has vastly overstayed their welcome.#they’ve been here for SIX WEEKS and are showing no signs of going home#so much shit has happened in the past six weeks that I don’t even know if I’m remembering all of it here in these tags#and now. I have been denied for unemployment and received a notice that I have to pay back what they already paid me#bc i ‘missed the deadline to verify my identity’#except they NEVER SENT ME THE IDENTITY VERIFICATION LETTER#I’ve been keeping an eye out for it and I’ve kept every letter I’ve received from them#nothing has the verification password.#I filed an appeal but the confirmation page said it could take weeks to get a hearing#so what the fuck am I supposed to do in the meantime#i wish I were fucking dead to be honest#that would be preferable to the last six weeks
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what would a relationship between despair!gundham x non despair!kazuichi be like, i wonder-? xD
kazuichi would just be like a sopping wet cat next to gundham (`A`)
Kazuichiswrench. My dear, at some point, we will probably collab a story with all these ideas lol
But yeah I love Despair!Gundham x Non-Despair!Kazuichi so much, I wish there was more. I mentioned before in the 3 Gundham’s ask, that I see Despair!Gundham as a hedonistic, entropic and misanthropic. The world is horrible and shitty, but what he sees as his is HIS - he is a demon prince in a crumbling world who would dare try to take his possessions or say they are not his treasures? He’ll fed them to his tigers.
And Kazuichi is his, even if he hasn’t been blessed by Junko and been liberated by the wool still covering his eyes. Let’s say he was sick with a cold this time around to mitigate the angst lol, so he wasn’t even allowed to run around in the rain to look for Chiaki. He has survivors guilt though!
Originally, Kazuichi was going to be into Hope’s Peak as the “17” student - he was going to have the master key to the principal’s private office as well as supposedly knowing the backup plan in case it went wrong. Somehow Junko sniffed this out and lured Kazuichi out just before she brainwashed her fellow classmates. Thinking Gundham would revel in the idea of killing his “rival” classmate, she was surprised and despair filled ecstasy when she saw he was in twisted love and took Kazuichi away with no intention of listening to her. She let it go because being told no was exhilarating.
Gundham would make sure Kazuichi stays close - he’s never allowed to leave his sight; they even sleep in the same bed! Scandalous 😈 He keeps the mechanic compliant with small threats and keeping him isolated. Kazuichi has tried to escape, once. The man eating tigers cooled his flight to freedom and the breeder suitably punished him. After that, it was carrot and stick method: if Kazuichi tried to sabotage his plans, Gundham would punish him; if he was good, he was given presents and affection.
This proved the most affected, since Kazuichi craved psychical touch and kind words. He began trying to escape less and less if it meant he’d get it, he would. This is around the time when Stockholm's Syndrome begins to kick in. Kazuichi believes it’s actually love because of Gundham treats him compared to the rest of the Remnants - from he saw on the Monokuma controlled tvs anyways. He treated him so gently and kind, how could Gundham be like the others? He keeps him safe.
Whether or not Kazuichi survives the Remnants getting captured and taken to Jabborwock for the NWP is up to you guys 😈
#a Stockholm’s Syndrome Kazuichi hasn’t really been done yet#so I can imagine it be instense#he’d want to keep Gundham with him and would do anything for it#leaving it open ended cause hehehe#can you imagine the rampage and carnage Gundham would have if something happened to Kazuichi#wild#kazuichi souda#soda kazuichi#gundham tanaka#soudam#soudham#danganronpa 2#sdr2#danganronpa#goodbye despair#kazuichi x gundham#kazuichi souda x gundham tanaka#kazuichiswrench#ask answered#answered asks
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nandor babygirl reblog if u agree
#nandor the relentless#god I fucking love him#the brain rot is so real right now i wanna punch him in the face I love him so much#there’s a word in Tagalog#‘nakakagigil’ - something that gives you the instense urge to bite/squeeze/pinch it#and honestly yeah
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do you think house ever fucked chase. it would only happen once because i think even house would be like this feels immoral but would it happen. i dont need to explain chases side i feel. if it did it would happen in the first 3 seasons prime breedableness
oh ive thought about this before. extensively. it would happen because it's just kind of inevitable. part of the workplace ecosystem
definitely during the first 3 seasons because it shouldve been pre or in between early chameron while chase looked like that. maybe post stacy.....
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kinda just wanna delete my dating app profiles and all the conversations ive had with everyone. csuse like. i so love being ghosted after 1 date after being told they'd love a second. yes im being dramatic and petulant. yes im overreacting. no im not actually gonna delete my profile. yes im gonna try to match with someone every now and then and see where it goes. fuck it. we ball. we say stilly ~nya
#my rejection sensitivity is a bitch and sometimes i want to slap her#but also ive just been through a hella instense relationship and break up and im not the best stable me right now#so mybe im being too hard on myself nd im trying to just chill but occassionally the venting needs to come out im not sorry if u dont likeit#nyanko moos
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Running Up That Hill by idyll
Summary: In which Derek fights the forces of evil and has no idea how Stiles started working for, or living with, him.
Rating: Explicit
Main Character(s): Derek Hale
Additional Character(s): Stiles Stilinski, Vernon Boyd, Isaac Lahey, Erica Reyes, Scott McCall, Lydia Martin, Alan Deaton, Ms. Morrell, Kate Argent, Allison Argent
Tags: Fusion, Constantine Fusion, Demons, Angels, No Werewolves, Alternate Universe, Discussion of the past Derek/Kate relationship, Mentions of the Hale House fire, Past and off screen main character suicide referenced, Suicide, tw suicide, No Character Death
Words: 23,575
Chapters: 7/7
#HOT DAMN this was good#very instense plot driven story#you don't have to be familiar with Constantine to enjoy it but if you have seen the movie you'll love this#this isn't just a simple retelling of the movie the author goes beyond that#so sooooo good#sterek#sterek fanfic#sterek fanfic rec#sterek fic rec#stiles x derek#sterek fanfiction#author: idyll#derek x stiles#derek hale x stiles stilinski#derek hale fanfiction#derek/stiles#teenwolffanfictionrecs#teen wolf fanfiction#teen wolf fic#ao3 fanfic#ao3 link
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I had the most bananas Steven Universe AU dream yesterday (spoilers for the series!!!!!).
Basically it was back during the war when the Crystal Gems were rebelling against the Diamonds and while the Crystal Gems didn't know that Rose was Pink, the Diamonds did and because of that, they were actually very much more at war (like she's a traitor after all we've done for her). And so the earth was Fucked Up, I remember there being marshlands and like... mutant cows just eating weird mutant grass.
The camp was in the snow and there was barbed wire around it and Rose and Pearl were strategizing, because like, fuck, at this rate, all the humans and animals would die. there was a sense of real war of attrition happening.
AND THEN Steven appeared in the middle of camp through time traveling??? and they're like who is this human? except he freaks out and makes a bubble and they're like wait what the fuck is he a gem. and then Rose sees his powers and they're EXACTLY like hers and she's like oh my god the other diamonds have been doing crazy experiments to MAKE another me and put it in this human child's body for some reason
and like it's SUPER TERRIBLE because Steven is still figuring out his feelings towards his mom, but Rose is like, a real fucking general in this timeline, not just the warm fluffy savior and so she's like ordering him to be captured while also unable to explain WHY Steven terrifies her so much (only Pearl knows) and the other crystal gems are obviously like a human dIAMOND hybrid??? and it's a FUCKING MESS
...and then I fucking woke up.
#steven universe#steven universe spoilers#rose quartz#arget rambles#i cannot emphasize enough how much i wanted to keep watching this dream#but then it was too instense and i fucking snapped awake#like wtf brain this was so spicy#what was going to happen?
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saltburn is a psychological thriller primarily. people say it missed the mark on class commentary but i think that comes from a place of a more us-centric idea of class, whereas british ideas of class are still very much centred around monarchy and aristocracy
in the usa, ollie might be considered upper class, his parents have money, plenty of it. however in the uk, people are typically only considered upper class if they have the correct background (i.e. the posh accent, private education, old money, a title, big mansion - the cattons are upper class in the most traditional sense of the word)
(there's also interesting commentary to be made about how farleigh, an american, seems to see the tradition that the catton family engage in as more of a game, more so amusing that felix or venetia find it - those traditional arisitocratic behaviours are very antiquated, and would seem more so to someone from a country that hasn't had that monarchal system for a couple centuries)
people say it failed as class commentary because ollie wasn't really working class, so it wasn't showing a working class person desperately trying to become part of the upper class.
i would say this is more interesting.
ollie is privileged in terms of money. sure, maybe not so much as felix, but he leads a pretty decent life, has everything he needs. he goes to oxford- surely there will be like minded people there. and suddenly he is in a world where its not so much how much money you have, but who and what you know. ollie may be from a upper-middle class family, but he lacks the connections.
he wants to get in. become part of that connection, that network. and it never works. he is always on the outside, unable to break through hundreds of years of enforced feudal-adjacent customs. his desire for felix and his desire for those upper class connections and background morph into an obsession, and when it becomes apparent he can't have felix, then neither can anyone else, and if he can take their money and status while he's at it, then why not?
#untagged bc i dont rly want to get into instense discourse#it just kept bothering me so i had to weite it down#technicallt unfinished#whatever
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re prev post also rereading the hunger games made me truly wish it had gotten a tv show adaptation instead of the movie one..... i think there was a post on here that discussed how suzanne collins was involved in writing tv screenplays and she translated some of that tv storytelling into her books in terms of pacing and setting up tension as a way to also reflect the hunger games' reality tv format and i truly couldnt agree more. i do think that its not the kind of story that translates well to a big budget screen adaptation, regardless of if its for cinemas or for tv, but still a show could have done a significantly better justice to it i believe
#thots#like sorry i just hate those movies so much. like aside from the basically carricatural marketing they got they just werent very good#at telling that story imo. like i remember when i was like 14ish and i saw the first movie i was so annoyed that they shortened#many very instense sequences from the books into like 5 seconds. like i get screentime is limited and the movie was almost 3hrs already#but thats why it shouldnt be a movie!! its made to be a show why cant u see this!!
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listen, i know that there is a difference between having a baby and having a cat, however. i do at least get a glimpse of what having a toddler is like when i try and give my cat flea medicine.
i try to give it to them when they’re just laying down because it legit takes like a minute to do. my other cat is fine and stays in one place but as soon as my cat Baker feels it on him he is done. and he doesn’t fall for me trying to lure him back to just get the rest of it. it took two tries and then there was just literally a squeeze left, and i had to just lay on the floor next to him while he sulked under the dresser
#it’s hard to explain in text post form but oml#he wasn’t scared he was just very annoyed lmak#the meow of complaint he let out when he made a mistake by going ON the dresser so i could get the rest on him#he’s insane it doesn’t hurt him at all but hw just hates the feeling i guess#took me half an hour lmao#i gave my other cat her does a few DAYS ago and it took me like max a minute#my problem is i didn’t want a chase bc it’s not fun for anyone so i put it off when i didn’t see opportunities the past few days#but besties we’ve gotten fleas once and it took like 3 months to get rid of them it was god awful#so i get paranoid when i don’t give them their medicine exactly on time#so you imagine my anxiety now lmao#i didn’t used to have like one instense anxiety about something that comes back anytime i’m stressed#however after the fleas i do lol#ivy rambles
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uhm
#also i need to put it somehwere because im still scared and angry and shaking and nauseous but i think i have realized i have#a really weird stupid trauma thats probbaly idnt at all and that it is why im so weird about . that#and realizing that for years now its been like ive been completely unintentionally unknowingly self harming without even realizing#because it never registered as that just as an accident or regret and would leave me feeling nauseous and gross and just this#inexplicable but strong Bad Feeling like#everything was bad and realizing that ive thought this whole time i dontreally have intrusive thoughts but i do but theyre just of#this one very very specific topic and its upsetting its so upsetting it disgusts me so much#but uhm whatever i guess. i guess i should ask my counselor about it because oh god this is bad#discovering this like over a decade deep rooted trauma it feels like discovering i have like a horrible instense lethal illness#thats been festering for over a decade#but it makes so much sense like something that id been so sensitive and weird about for a decade for no apparent reason but#like the reason is a huge glaring light but i just never realized#and i dont even know if what set me off is real if i just imagined it or something i just feel out of it i feel so bad and i kindof hate my#myself i just dont knwowhat to do#i dont know how . to bring it up to fix it because i feel so scared and ashamed aout it
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