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let-them-read-fics · 4 years ago

Text

Yours Truly (Pt. 2)

Requested By: Some of you!

Pairing: Jisoo x Fem!Reader

AU: College

Word Count: Part 1 -> 9,786 // Part 2 -> 7,433

Warnings / Misc. -- Angst, Pining, Fluff

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: Here's the second and final part of the imagine, gang. I hope you enjoy the adventures I wrote for you! Let me know about your fav part(s)!

♡ Happy Reading ♡

Part 1 -- Click Here

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

5.) Epiphanies

A Week Later

"Yuqi, why the hell did you drag me here? I'd so much rather be writing…" you shove your hands further into the pockets of your hoodie and look at her with a scowl. Rows of people fill the bleachers around you, everyone excited for the football game that's scheduled to start soon. Happy couples sit together all around the stadium, and the sight only works to remind you of how weird things are with Jisoo right now.

"One: it's a Friday night and you need to let loose, and two: I wanted to come, so you have to tag along by default. The rules of friendship are very simple, Y/N," she trails off, tilting her head at you with a smile.

"Well I am gonna go get some food," you imitate her, "Do you want anything?" You stand from the bench and look down at her, noticing how her permed hair sticks up in a few different places. You smooth it out for her as she answers, "Nachos, please."

"Alright, dork. I'm sure the line's kinda long, but come look for me if I'm not back in 20." She pats your butt as you leave, and you just shake your head with a smile.

"--I know! Did you hear about Lee's new girlfriend? I heard she got in a fight with his ex last ni--"

"I'm fucking starving bro."

"Yeah, they totally hooked up at Jackson's party!"

Various conversations work their way to your ears as you walk towards the back of the line, but you attempt to not get too invested in the gossip. As welcoming as your school tends to be, even it has its fair share of scandals and drama. You've never been one to care about rumors though, and you don't plan to start now.

"I heard that Jisoo likes someone."

Funny how plans can change in an instant, don't you think?

You can't find it in yourself to ignore the childish desire to eavesdrop, so you listen in as the line slowly shifts forward with each new customer served, doing your best to be inconspicuous.

"Supposedly she's been into them for a while but they don't know about it. I guess Lisa is planning to get them together tonight or something, I don't know." You recognize the brunette speaking as Seulgi, a dance major that you share a couple classes with. She's talking to Yeri, whom you've seen a few times in passing.

That must be why she was defensive about the kiss; she has feelings for someone else.

"Ooh, that'll be interesting. I can't say that I'm not disappointed, though; now Jisoo's gonna be off the market." The shorter girl frowns, basically reading your mind with her statement. You've never fooled yourself into believing you have a chance with Jisoo, but knowing that she'll be whisked away by some lucky classmate of yours definitely isn't an easy pill to swallow.

You pass the remaining wait time by imagining who that person may be. Jisoo has a lot of friends, but you've never seen her around campus with any particular love interest; she always puts her studies first, deciding that her education is far more important than any potential relationship.

You remain lost in your thoughts until it's your turn to order.

"Hey Y/N, what can I get for you?" The cashier greets, resetting the register as she grins at you.

"Hi Yeji," you smile back, happy to see your old friend again after what feels like forever. Your busy schedules have kept you from hanging out much lately, but seeing her now is something you're grateful for. "I'll take two waters, a medium nacho, and 1 hot dog, please."

"You want everything on it?" She asks in reference to your last request, assuming you still stick with the order you used to go with in your childhood.

"You know it. And make sure to--"

"--spread the toppings out well. I remember, girl." She says with a wink, turning around to get started on your order. The familiar interaction warms your heart, aided by the idea that some things never change. After she packages your things up in a convenient little container, you thank her and pay, walking away with a promise to meet up at the school's café next week.

About halfway back to your seat, something unexpected happens.

"Rosie, we can't buy out the whole place. This is the 4th trip we've taken back here and the game hasn't even started yet!" You freeze as you round the corner, almost dropping your food as Jisoo's low voice sounds off nearby.

"Unnie, I didn't even get to eat much of the other stuff at all! Lisa and Jennie stole it and shared it with everyone else," the artist pouts, rolling her hands into fists at her sides like a toddler.

"Fine. But this is the last trip I'm taking." She warns, rolling her eyes when the Australian attacks her with a flurry of kisses. "Yah! Let's go before we miss something." She says, pushing her off of her with a smile on her face.

Even her voice makes your heart ache, and it reminds you of what her kiss felt like against your lips. It was short, no doubt, and barely there; but the sparks remain, waiting to be reignited anytime she's around. Maybe you're just destined to pine.

----

"There you are! I was literally about to go steal some food from Shuhua because you were taking so long."

"Yeah, yeah," you say, sitting down beside Yuqi with the cardboard box in your hands. "You're lucky I love you enough to pay for this. Now I'll have to survive on 3 grains of rice and ramen for the next few weeks."

"Oh, the struggles of being a broke college student." She says woefully, clutching her hands together in front of her chest to add to the effect.

"Precisely," you agree, scooting closer to offer her some nachos. When she tries to greedily take the whole tray of them, you're quick to stop her.

"Ah, ah, ah," you warn, pulling her wrist back down. "We're sharing, chica." She huffs, but eventually settles down and decides to shove her face full instead of protesting anymore.

Now, with your best friend happily eating, you relax and begin to prepare yourself for the match.

"LET'S GO!" You shout with Yuqi, chanting together as your school's anthem echoes throughout the stadium. The rival team has been behind the entire game, but they closed the gap in the last few minutes and now it's neck and neck. Your band plays loudly to encourage your team, and it seems to be working; they manage to repeatedly hold the others off and keep them from scoring.

It's the start of the fourth quarter now -- the home stretch. With their spirits still high, your team continues to keep victory out of their opponents hands. The black paint underneath their eyes is really streaked now, showing all the effort and sweat that they've put into the game so far. A beautiful sunset just previously gave way to a rapidly darkening evening sky, allowing some stars to peek out now.

"My high school team sucked; this is epic!" Yuqi says, making you laugh. You tear your eyes away from the heated game to say something to her, but all thoughts soon disappear from your mind and you stop mid-sentence.

She notices your sudden silence and looks at you, only realizing what's happening once she follows your line of sight. Jeong is standing against the metal fence that borders the track, mingling with everyone at the bottom of the bleachers. That doesn't bother you, but what you see next certainly does; you spot Jisoo beside him, giggling at something he said as he tucks a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Oh shit," Yuqi breathes out, fully grasping the weight of the situation now. She doesn't even attempt to give him the benefit of the doubt, because he knows how in love you are with Jisoo and yet there he is, flirting away. He's the only other person besides Yuqi who knows of your feelings for the brunette, and you really trusted him with it. Clearly that was a mistake. You blink a few times and set your jaw, quickly looking away as he moves closer to whisper something in her ear over the noise of the crowd.

"I'm gonna head out to the car. Just let me know who wins," you mumble, brushing past her on your way toward the exit. You know there's no way you'd be able to focus on the game anymore after seeing that, so going is your best option. She catches your arm before you can slip away, and says, "Wait, I'm coming with you. And don't even try to tell me no; I can always watch highlights later. I'm not gonna let you be alone right now."

Knowing it's pointless to argue anymore, you nod once and wait for her to gather up her trash and coat. "Let's go," she says, taking your hand after tossing her garbage in the can conveniently placed at the end of your row. She squeezes it a few times for reassurance, and a bittersweet smile works onto your lips at the gesture.

You don't notice how Jisoo's eyes follow you, every fiber of her being yelling at her to go after you. She hates seeing you sad, and although she isn't 100% sure of the reason for it now, all she wants is to cheer you up.

"So, Jisoo. Do you have any plans after the game?" Jeong smirks, quirking a brow suggestively at his own question. Jisoo grimaces, saying, "Yeah, I do. I have to study." She tries to find you in the crowd again, but it seems that you've already slipped away.

"We're throwing a party tonight, you should come." He leans a little closer to her, but she takes a step back. The only reason she's even talking to him right now is because Lisa introduced them, and it would be impolite not to. She turns him down, yet again sneaking a glance around the stadium.

"No wonder Y/N's too chicken to ask you out; you're hard to get, but I don't mind a challenge." Her head whips around at his statement, heart regaining that familiar uptick at the mention of you. "What?" She blinks, not believing her ears. Surely she was just hearing things.

"I said I don't mind a challenge," his words come out slightly slurred, and the effects of the alcohol he's been drinking are beginning to show themselves in all the wrong ways. The more he talks, the less Jisoo can stand him. "Look, Jeong -- I'm not interested. I'm sure there are other girls here that would love to get to know you, but I'm not one of them. Now, if you'll excuse me," she says, turning her body to the side to maneuver around him and get to the stairs. He lets her go without another word, his pride too bruised to come up with a more fitting response than a muttered insult.

She makes quick work of getting to the parking lot, where she spots you approaching Yuqi's car, head hanging a bit. Seeing you upset saddens her, and she's determined to find out what's wrong.

"Y/N! Wait up!" The shout catches your attention, and you slowly spin around. Jisoo begins to jog out to you, and a scoff slips past your lips (though you don't put much effort into stopping it). You're hurt, and half of the reason for your pain is staring right back at you like nothing happened.

"What do you want, Jisoo?" You sigh, not looking forward to where this conversation will most certainly go.

"I want to talk, Y/N." She's in front of you now, scanning her eyes between yours to gauge your reaction.

"What is there to say? Just go back to talking to Jeong; you looked like you were enjoying yourself." She can hear the jealousy laced in your tone, and things finally -- finally -- begin to click for her.

"Is that what this is about?" She asks in reference to your sadness. The question isn't accusatory at all; she's genuinely trying to piece things together.

A disbelieving laugh leaves you at that. How is she still so oblivious? "Yes, Jisoo, it is. I just had to witness someone who I thought was my friend flirt with my crush. So yeah, that's what this is about." Sensing that she doesn't know what to say, you decide to conclude things for her. This is already pitiful enough, and you'd rather spare the both of you from having the "it's not you, it's me" talk.

"Look, I get it. You don't like me back, and you were only trying to be friendly by inviting me to the rehearsal that night. Just please, for the both of us, forget it even happened. Forget all of this. It was a mistake, and I won't do it again."

Jisoo hates that you're jumping to conclusions without even knowing her true feelings; you automatically think that she couldn't possibly feel the same, and you use her moment of silence as a form of evidence to prove that. The complete opposite is true, though you'd never give her enough time to straighten out her jumbled thoughts and tell you that.

She finds her voice when you turn away, and she reaches out to touch your hand. "Stop, you've got it all wrong." Your eyes glance down to your intertwined hands, but you wiggle out of her grip with a heavy sigh. Over your shoulder, you shakily say, "You don't have to pretend for me, Jisoo. I'll be alright. If he makes you happy, then so be it."

With that, you get in Yuqi's car and tell her to drive away, leaving Jisoo to deal with the sinking feeling in her chest that worsens as the car's tail lights grow dimmer and dimmer in the distance. You're gone, and she really has no idea how to come back from this.

6.) Broken Hearted

The next few weeks were hell. You avoided Jisoo as much as possible, too embarrassed to face her after what happened and too weak to be close to her again. You'd surely fall even harder if you allowed yourself to grow any closer, so you didn't take the risk. How could you? Falling alone isn't an enjoyable experience, and you've been teetering on the edge of no return ever since that afternoon at the daycare.

It was hard enough to escape her hold -- her face was everywhere, plastered on ads and bulletin boards all throughout campus, on reminders and sign ups for student council. You used your sick days in order to hide away in your dorm and block out the world, only being comforted by Ryujin when she wasn't busy with her own life or Yuqi when she could spare a few hours. They always made sure to care for you as much as they could, knowing first hand how tough heartbreak can be -- especially with the added stress of schoolwork.

One person you thought about often was Jeong. Every time he'd cross your mind, dirtying up your brainwaves with the mere notion of himself, you'd grimace. He didn't deserve the attention, and yet you couldn't help but question why he did that to you. He hadn't reached out since that night, likely due to Yuqi giving him a piece of her mind after the game. He made it clear that he wasn't sorry, and that if given the chance, he'd play his cards even better and hopefully score a date with Jisoo.

Maybe that was the worst part of it all. Hearing that it hadn't just been a stupid thing he did because he was drunk; he realized the weight of his actions, and he'd do it again, over and over, without caring about how you fit into the equation. That football game was simply a turning point, hidden in plain sight as an unassuming night for you to hang out with Yuqi. But you learned more then than you had ever intended to; Jeong's selfish, and he probably never even cared for you in the first place. The idea of that makes you feel dirty -- like you wasted so much of your time with such a horrible person, sticking up for him and defending his name when he wasn't around when he never even deserved that in the first place. You wish you would've known who he really was back then; you would've stayed away.

Unbeknownst to you, Jisoo was struggling much like you -- minus the whole "betrayed by a best friend" situation. Every time that she showed up in class, she hoped with every piece of herself that you'd walk through the door and grace the room with your presence. You seldom ever did, though -- but when you ran out of free days of absence and were forced to attend class in order to keep your grades up, you never even uttered a word to her. She'd make it a point to ask questions in class, hoping that hearing her voice would bring something out of you, as yours did to her. She longed to talk to you again, if only for a minute; but your resolve remained strong, and her determination grew weaker as the days went by.

Being the person she is, though, she knew giving up wasn't an option. After a few weeks of that cycle, greeting stands were placed at the front doors of each complex on campus, manned by different members of the council. She came up with a story for the administration on the fly, using her people skills to convince them that it would be good for student morale and getting more people to join clubs. It was a great effort, but she underestimated your avoidance skills; you thwarted her plans again, slipping right through her strategically linked fingers.

Eventually, she lost hope. She exhausted every option she knew to try, and the girls ran out of new ones as well. Seeing their unnie so upset saddened them, and they did all they could to cheer her up in any and every way they knew how.

7.) Premiere Night

"Y/N, get up. You're gonna shower and get dressed if I have to force you to do it myself." Yuqi commands, blasting into your room and flipping on the overhead light that shines far too bright for your liking.

"Mmm," you groan in protest, not even bothering to roll over.

"I mean it; don't test me, you know I'm true to my word."

"Why, Yuqi?"

"Because we're going to the performance tonight. The big show that everyone has been going on about is premiering, and you're coming with me to see it."

"I can't do that." You say, her words sobering you up from your sleepy stupor.

"I know who the lead is," she informs, already knowing about your reasons for being hesitant, "and that's precisely why we're going. You can't keep living like this, so either go get your girl, or agree to be friends with her and work past what you're dealing with."

"You sound like a mom at the end of an 80s movie."

"80s movie moms are valid, so I'll take that as a compliment. Now go!" She shouts, shoving you off the bed. You tumble to the floor in a heap of blankets and pillows, still managing to hit your funny bone as you let out a pained groan.

"Remind me to slap her later, Ryujin."

"Will do." She salutes, reaching a hand down to help you up. With one last glare at an annoyingly bubbly Yuqi, you head to the bathroom to shower.

----

"How do I look?" You ask, looking yourself up and down in the skinny mirror attached to the wall.

"Is it gay if I say I'd ask you out?" Yuqi asks with a smile, fanning herself animatedly when you strike a pose.

"Very much so, yes."

"Well, hand me the rainbow suspenders, then."

You push her over with a laugh -- the first real one you've shared in a while -- and wrap her in a hug.

"Thank you, for real. I don't know where I'd be if I didn't have you." You say against her shoulder, pulling back to look at your roommate and add, "Either of you." The three of you settle in for a group hug and tell a few more jokes before Yuqi finally drags you out of the dorm.

----

"How does it feel to be back in society?" Yuqi whispers, leaning in close to you to read the seat numbers printed on your tickets.

"As lame as ever." You add, amusingly unenthused.

"You're never gonna convince Jisoo to date your dumbass with that attitude." She retorts, feeling a little guilty when she sees your expression change upon hearing her name. You're afraid to see where the two of you will stand at the end of the night, so saying it's still a sore subject is the understatement of the year.

"I'm messing with you, dude. If she doesn't want to be with you, then it's her loss; but I highly doubt that's the case. I've heard she misses you a lot." For once, Yuqi's words are halfway encouraging to hear, and you let out a light smile.

"Well I'm prepared to worry about that whole situation later. For now, let's find our seats and enjoy the show." Your best friend quickly agrees, and the two of you squeeze through the crowds in the aisles to get to your row.

----

"Jisoo, I promise you'll do well. You've been practicing for months; you've got this," Soo-hyun says, rubbing his co-lead's back in reassuring circles. The certainty in his deep voice gives Jisoo some semblance of security, and she stands to look at him with one final, nervous sigh. Stage fright has never been this big of an issue for her, but the size of the crowd and the idea that you might be out there scare the hell out of her. She wants you to be there with all of her heart, but she doesn't know if she'll be able to handle watching you walk away again. The past few weeks have been torture, and she misses your presence and witty remarks more than she ever thought possible.

"Thank you, Soo-hyun. I'll meet you out there in a couple minutes, just let me collect myself."

He nods and says, "Take your time. I'll let Mrs. Choi know," before leaving and shutting the door behind himself. Now alone again, Jisoo digs through her personal bag that lays neatly on the small futon of the dressing room. When her fingers come in contact with that familiar material she's spent hours staring at, she bites the inside of her cheek and unfolds it for the millionth time. Multiple poems and blurbs litter the page, accompanied by cute doodles and cartoons here and there that give it a personal feel. She's spent the time away from you methodically working through the different writings, restraining herself from reading all of them in one setting so that she can have new content from time to time.

She's down to the last one, now, and a surprising sort of realization hits her when she reads it. It instills within her a sense of determination -- determination to get you back and set things right, one way or another. She makes a plan to find you after the performance.

-- After The Performance --

It was even more spectacular than you ever imagined it could be. The school spared no expense in getting the best props, employing the most skilled technicians on hand, and recruiting the best artists that the school had to paint the backdrops. Everyone behind the scenes worked tirelessly to produce the best show possible, and their efforts really paid off.

And, of course, you can't forget the actors.

The entire cast was incredible, their talent matching some of the world's most sought-after stars. Every part was played to perfection; even the smaller, supporting roles were acted with passion, really bringing the piece together as a whole. The production left you wanting more, too inspired and awestruck by the amazing performances to be content with just seeing it once. So, after numerous calls for an encore, the cast returned to run through a few of their key scenes.

---

As the cast takes their final bow, large cannons placed on either side of the stage shoot out bursts of colorful confetti, and you watch it flutter down around them. Some try to catch a piece or two to add to their scrapbooks, wanting to have a trinket from their college years, while others just hug each other and twirl around with content smiles on their faces. The crowd continues its loud cheering, and eventually you find the courage to sneak a glance at Jisoo.

To your surprise, she's looking right back.

Her eyes hold a mixed softness; she's proud of herself and glad that you came to support her on such a big night, but part of her wants to escape the busyness of it all and tell you everything she's been feeling. She'd be content with looking at you forever, she realizes, as she studies you. You're the true star in her eyes, always shining so bright and making everyone feel at home whenever they're around you. She hopes you know how special you are.

Mrs. Choi approaches the cast from stage right, gathering their attention to congratulate them and commend them for their performances. Jisoo reluctantly looks away from you, unsure if it's the last time she'll be seeing you tonight. The thought upsets her, but there isn't much she can do about it right now; so, she gives her attention to her professor and flashes that smile that makes everyone weak in the knees.

You knew it was just a matter of time before she'd be pulled away and immersed in some conversation about the show, but the selfish side of you never wanted her to look away. No matter how confusing things may be because of all of your unresolved issues, she still looks at you like she always had before -- her gaze is kind, albeit bittersweet, but it's full of care. Seeing her like that makes you feel like even more of an asshole than you already do -- maybe you should have just listened to her at the game. Running away was an immature choice, rooted entirely in your own sadness in that moment as you deprived yourself of any explanation she could've offered, though you can't judge yourself too harshly. The situation is complicated, and you still don't know whether to hate yourself for running or go easy on yourself in light of what happened.

When Yuqi sees you stand up and shuffle towards the end of your row, she sends you a warning look.

"Dude, I'm not gonna run away. I'm literally just gonna step outside for some fresh air, I promise." She visibly relaxes, no longer having to prepare herself to wrangle you back into the seat.

"Fine. But if you aren't back in 15 minutes I'm coming to track you down. You really need to talk to her."

You sigh, nodding in agreement. "I know, trust me. Just let me get my thoughts together first." She sends you off to do just that, but not until the two of you complete the special handshake you made up all those months ago.

---

Brisk air rushes over your skin in waves the moment you exit the side door of the building, automatically sending goosebumps to raise in its wake. It feels nice, though; it grounds you, and works to cool off your heated skin. The atmosphere inside was thick with the tension you've been feeling ever since what happened that night at the game, and its effects were only heightened by the raw performances of the evening. Passion and longing were the driving factors of the play, ironically, and many of the scenes drew eerie parallels to your current situation. So, it's no wonder that you're thankful to step away from it all for a bit.

You greet a few stray audience members that're puttering around outside as well, opting to walk down a little further away from them and lean against the building. The wall's brick material feels rough against your back, lightly scratching it whenever you shift your weight from one foot to the other. You don't mind it, though; it's oddly nostalgic, somehow.

When you hear the door open again, you think nothing of it. The metal hinges latch just the same as they had for you, so there's really no reason for you to even look up. However, that all changes when you feel someone's eyes on you.

Unprepared is leaps and bounds away from being a fitting statement to describe how you feel in that moment; Jisoo stands merely 10 feet away from you at most, right next to the stage door that she just came out of. Her hands fiddle with the drawstrings of her costume, seemingly always needing to be occupied when she's nervous or unsure of herself; it's a habit you've picked up on after seeing it so many times.

The longer you look at her, the more you want to look away; she's so beautiful it hurts, and the silence is eating away at you. You can't blame her, though; neither of you know what to say or do, and the only thing you seem capable of is staring at each other. When you break the intense eye contact you were sharing to turn away, only intending to take a minute to collect yourself, Jisoo is suddenly set in motion.

She's afraid you'll leave again, and she's prepared to fight even harder for you this time.

I love you as the stars love the night sky

A fateful, cyclic romance

A game of eager greetings and reluctant goodbyes

Those words -- ones that you remember penning one day in class while completely entranced by Jisoo -- roll from her lips effortlessly, as if she had spent time committing them to memory. She had, in fact; whenever days passed without her even catching a glimpse of you, she always found herself unfolding that note again, tracing a finger over the curve of your unique letters as she reread the poem. It always brought her comfort to think that you were in just as deep as her, and a similar sense of hope blossoms in her chest now when she spots an unbelieving smile tug at the corner of your lips as you slowly turn to face her again.

You're still into her, and she's falling even deeper at the realization. Maybe she didn't lose you after all.

She takes calculated steps towards you and breathes a sigh of relief when you stay put, not showing any signs of running. The wheels in your head are going into overdrive now, turning and churning as you process her little recital, and she prays with all of her heart that you won't be upset once you put two and two together.

"How did you…"

"You dropped it one day, and I picked it up. I meant to give it back to you, but I guess I just never got around to it." She feels a little guilty for keeping it as long as she has, but it's served as a way of keeping you close during your time apart. Those bits and pieces of you, scattered around on that page, encapsulated by the annotations and doodles you so kindly left behind, have stayed in her heart. Ever since she discovered it all that time ago, it's never been very far from her; she cherishes it more than you'll ever know.

"You didn't show it to anyone, right?" Your voice is laced with worry, lowered a bit to keep others from overhearing.

"No, no! Of course not. I just… kept it for myself. You're really talented; I couldn't stop reading your stuff."

"Thank, I guess?" You awkwardly chuckle, still a bit rusty on how to interact with her after everything. Plus, to be fair, having your crush read one of the love letters you wrote about her is a bit unheard of. Newfound territory, you think to yourself.

"How long?" You ask after a minute of silence, only realizing how loaded your question is after it slips past your lips, turning into a puff of steam in the chilly atmosphere. "How long have you… felt that way about me?" You quickly add, "Assuming that you feel what the poem says, of course."

An amused smile tweaks her lips at how cute you are. "I do, Y/N. I always have; ever since that afternoon at the daycare."

"Really?" The question is quiet, full of childlike disbelief.

"Really. It was always you." She says it freely now: unafraid.

The sentiment is sweet, but memories of the football game come flooding back and you're reminded that as much as you want to skip this next part, you still have things to discuss.

"What about Jeong?"

"What about him?"

"Did you ever like him?"

"No. The girls thought so, but it was just a misunderstanding. That's why Lisa introduced us at the game; she thought I had a crush on him, but I told her that you were always the one I was looking at. I told all of the girls that, after that night."

Her confession renders you speechless -- only capable of listening and nodding every now and then. She takes advantage of your silence to finally explain herself and tell you everything she's been dying to.

"I didn't know you felt the same until our talk in the parking lot. I mean, I was hopeful after some of the moments we had, but I didn't know for sure until then. I wanted to beg you to stay and hear me out, but you left before I had the chance."

You blink a few times as the reality of her words begin to sink in. "I had no idea…"

"Yeah, well…" she trails off, unsure of what to say next. She's forgiven you for walking away, knowing you were just hurt, but the whole situation still left a bad taste in her mouth. So much pain could've been avoided for the both of you if you had just listened.

"How did they take it?"

"They yelled at me for waiting so long to tell them, but then they tried to help me get you back. Remember those student council booths?" She leans in a little closer to ask that last line, her lips pulling to the side in that iconic smirk of hers.

You audibly gasp and point at her animatedly. "I knew that was you!"

"Mhm, pulled some fancy-sounding excuse out of my ass to convince the board, and boom; 20 brand new tables set up the next day. I still can't believe you managed to slip past them, though. I mean, c'mon, have you seen how talkative those kids can be?"

"Trust me, it wasn't easy," you laugh with her. "I had to sneak to the back entrances like a drug dealer."

"I can totally see that."

"I'm dedicated, what can I say?" The stupid hair flip you do makes her laugh even harder, clutching her stomach as those beautiful sounds slip past her lips.

As your shared laughter eventually turns into soft chuckles, she smiles at you, saying, "I really missed this. I missed you, so so much."

"I've been a wreck without you, Jisoo. It's honestly embarrassing."

She looks at you with something new shining in her eyes, and she carefully contemplates what she's about to admit. "Can I tell you a secret?"

"Of course."

"I rarely cry, Y/N, but I did over you. So you have no reason to be embarrassed. It seems like both of us were pretty bad off." She looks down after saying that, scuffing her foot against the concrete of the sidewalk. Being vulnerable isn't usually easy for her, and she never really lets people see that side of her -- not even the girls. She feels like she has to stay strong for them to keep things running smoothly, but she fails to realize how important her own feelings are. You're different, though; she feels like her entire collection of secrets would be safe with you, and you make her feel secure enough to be open like that.

When she feels you step closer and hook two fingers underneath her chin, her eyes dart up to yours and her heart speeds up. Your other arm hesitantly wraps around her waist, giving her plenty of time to step away and deny you. You've spent so much time convincing yourself that she couldn't possibly want someone like you that you're genuinely surprised when she steps further into your embrace, pulling your arm tighter around herself.

Her right arm comes to rest loosely on your shoulder as her other hand caresses your forearm, rubbing various patterns against your smooth skin. "I tried so hard to get you to pick up on my flirting," she starts, playing with the baby hairs at the nape of your neck as she holds you close. "Every touch," she runs a finger down your arm, leaving a trail of electricity in its wake. "Every look," she moves her hand from your neck to your cheek, cupping it sweetly as she gazes into your eyes. She strokes your skin with the pad of her thumb, smiling beautifully when she feels you nuzzle into her hold even more.

"And that kiss…" she says, sounding breathless at the mere thought of it. "I wanted it to last forever."

"Why didn't you tell me that, then?" You ask, not even a trace of anger in your tone. You're determined to let go of all the hurt and fear that your misunderstandings have caused, opting instead to finally get the answers you've wanted for so long. "After I came back from putting Aera to bed you were just… different. And then when you said it was just a part of the script--"

"I know. I was afraid that if I let myself have you like that -- if I let you in all the way -- there'd be no going back." When she sees the confusion building in your eyes, she continues on. "I don't usually let myself get distracted; I can't afford it. You know how seriously I take my studies." You nod, recalling the numerous times you've found her in the library until it closed, studying hard for the exams everyone knew she'd ace. "But you wiggled your way past every line of defense I ever put up. You became my favorite distraction." A dopey grin tugs at your lips at receiving that title, and you subconsciously hold your head a little higher.

"But I wasn't prepared for that. You make me feel things that I've never felt before, and I really didn't think I could afford to let myself have you. Not fully, anyway. I could deal with a crush; I told myself I could keep you close enough that I wouldn't miss you, but far enough that I could keep myself protected."

"What changed?" You ask, smoothing your hands over the small of her back, feeling the heat radiate from her skin. They've worked their way under the hem of her shirt during your conversation, subconsciously seeking to share her warmth, and Jisoo has been acutely aware of it the entire time.

"When I saw you walk away like that I didn't know what to do with myself. I've had people leave before, so it's not a new thing; but I never missed them like I've missed you."

A bittersweet, melancholic look settles on your face at that; she deserves every good thing that the world has to offer, so knowing that you played a part in her sadness -- whether it be direct or indirect -- disheartens you a bit.

"But you're here now, and that's all that matters." She says, leaning her forehead against yours.

"And I'm not going anywhere," you affirm, holding her even closer than before. She brushes her nose against yours with a quiet sigh, relieved to be in your arms, caught safely in your warm embrace. If falling feels like this, she's more than okay with it.

"Can I?" You ask, glancing down to the heart shaped pillows you've dreamt of having against yours again.

She nods, uttering a soft, "Please", as she tilts her head to the side in expectancy. You close the remaining distance, bending your knees slightly to tighten your hold on her waist and pull her flush up against yourself. Both of her arms wrap around your neck now, occasionally coming down to tilt your head and allow her better access, or run her fingers through your hair. It's sensual and meaningful, but an air of urgency hangs in the air, thickening it the longer her lips are on you. Both of you are making up for lost time, so it's no wonder you're so eager.

She takes your bottom lip between her teeth as she backs you up, pressing you against the brick wall that you had migrated a few steps away from during your conversation. If she were kissing anyone else, perhaps she'd care about the strangers staring, or what they might say; but as she stands here, feeling your hands explore her body in the ways that she's dreamed of and your lips kiss her senseless, that's the furthest thought from her mind. Her hands grab at the collar of your shirt, balling the material up in her palms as she pushes her lips against yours from a new angle.

When you eventually pull back for air, you can't help but say the phrase that's been sitting on your mind for weeks. "I love you."

Her heart speeds up to match yours, both of them racing as you look at each other with giant smiles on your faces. "I love you, too. If you hadn't already guessed that," she chuckles, leaning up to kiss you again. This one's more innocent, though -- full of giddiness as you replay each other's declaration in your minds.

"Y/N L/N IF YOU AREN'T OUT HERE--"

Yuqi bellows loudly, blasting through the side door and out into the chilly night air. The metal smacks against the wall from the force she exerted, and you physically cringe at the sound. Jisoo does the same, quickly pulling away to find out what's going on.

When Yuqi's line of sight settles on the two of you, her eyebrows raise and a smirk lands on her lips. "Well, well, well. Looks like my work here is done," she says, cocking her head to the side self-assuredly when she sees how swollen both of your lips are and how mussed your clothing is. You send her a look that she registers as "Get lost", and she retreats back into the performance hall with her hands raised in surrender.

"Idiot," you mutter under your breath, shaking your head as you watch the door close behind her, its poor hinges still recovering from her assault. Jisoo's giggle makes you turn back to her, finding a breathtaking smile forming on her lips. "You're so cute," she coos, poking your cheek, "especially when you blush like that."

You fight the bashfulness that attempts to take over, managing to cock a brow at her and say, "Hey, watch it -- I might not be so kind in my next poem if you don't stop teasing me."

"Aww, don't be like that, baby."

She tenses up after realizing she let that pet name slip out at the end, but your smile only widens.

"Say that again."

"Baby," she drawls in her signature sultry tone, stepping closer to you again.

"Mmm, I could get used to that." You hum against her lips, pressing yours to them at the end of your statement.

"Good, because there's more where that came from."

"Oh yeah?"

"Mhm," she settles into your arms again, looking into your eyes with so much love you nearly swoon. "This is only the beginning for us."

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tvitr · 3 years ago

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uwu I don’t make the ruwules

(Okay fine, reasons/opinions below the cut but be warned! I won’t be holding back on game or book spoilers. Or rambling. This got longer than I anticipated lol)

BETTER IN THE BOOK

Eis “Fireman Sam” Glover: I don’t know what the game was trying to do with this one. I guess he gets overwhelmed by the fire and loses his composure or gets scared or... something? Also why did he not bring a hose. Or a mask. This is why so many reviewers thought Wonderworld was a metaphor for purgatory and all the inhabitants are dead I swear. Who cares, the book handled it a lot better. I wouldn’t say it’s perfect, but there’s definitely a good idea here with some interesting themes. The gist is that he feels ashamed following his captain’s orders to retreat during a serious blaze, which his colleagues disobeyed, and his colleagues are later hailed as heroes by the press. Is Balan the Book trying to take on toxic masculinity...? How brave. Tl;dr, the book conveyed the story a Hell of lot better than the game. Honestly I’m surprised this is the only one.

BETTER IN THE GAME

Haoyu “Airplane Boi” Chang: So the book tried waaaay too hard to draw a parallel between Haoyu and Fiona (aka, Dolphin Girl) to the point that they both share a similar backstory, in that they had a hobby which led to a near-fatal accident and now they’re too traumatised to resume said hobby. And that’s not a bad thing per se but... “near fatal accident” was already Fiona’s backstory. We didn’t need a duplicate. And this is more personal preference, but I kinda liked Haoyu’s story in the game anyway. His failure at building a functioning aeroplane out of crap he found in his garage is endearingly funny in the game, and the resolution of him taking time out to sit down and study before building anything is a nice spin on the whole “if at first you don’t succeed” theme the chapter wanted.

Sana “Bird Lady” Hudson: So the book decided they didn’t want to make Cal an angry sore loser so guess what? They made Sana an angry misanthrope. Wonderful. Okay maybe that’s harsh, but she definitely came off as very bitter and unsympathetic in the book. Like there’s a scene at the end where she harasses a firefighter and tries to steal a fire engine because they’re working on a building fire and not supervising her park. That’s not a character you wanna root for. That’s a Karen. The game had a better plot thread and resolution to her story rather than a boring cookie-cutter “humans vs. nature grrrr humans are so evil” story, like the game story here had a bit more depth to it and approached the topic more maturely than the book did. Which is ironic considering how hilariously edgy the book gets sometimes, but I guess throwing a few smashed eggs and frozen bird skeletons into your story doesn’t mean anything if you’re still going to paint such a black-and-white narrative.

Iben “Frozen Elsa” Bia: This story didn’t need dialogue. Like... we don’t need her to justify why she’s upset her parents are dead because we’d already assume that. They’re her parents! Of course we’d assume she’d be upset! They died! Simultaneously! That’s horrible! WE DON’T NEED HER TO EXPLAIN THIS! Also her dialogue in the book was... pretty terrible, not gonna lie. Like if you’re gonna insist on dialogue at least make it gOOD. I’m actually planning on just reviewing her book scene so I can fully articulate just how bad it is anyway, so stay tuned for that mess lol.

FINE IN BOTH

I mean there’s not really too much to say here but anyways:

Jose/”The Farmer” having a family in the book gives him a bit more depth, even if we never hear from them again after his backstory dump.

Fiona/”Dolphin Girl” almost drowns in a slightly different way, with a dolphin straight up pulling her mask off rather than knocking it out of her mouth, and the book also goes more into detail about her love for diving and dolphins. Also the book ships her and Haoyu like. So hard. Like they never shut up about how similar they are or what they other’s doing or if the other’s okay or not. By the end of it I was expecting them to just start making out in front of everyone, they’re that obsessed with each other. And it would be funny if they didn’t use this to wreck Haoyu’s backstory like I mentioned earlier.

Yuri/”Bug Kid”/”Is that a Pokémon reference?” is now being kinda bullied for liking bugs, which yeah gives her more depth and reason to be upset but I also kinda related to her just being that One Kid with interests that nobody else had. But it’s not as bad as some of the other changes, so I can let it slide.

Atillio/Clown and Bruce/Old Man are the same, nothing to say here.

Lucy/”The Artist” is a total drama queen but then again so are Art People so I can let it slide. I did like them changing her problem from “artist’s block” (seriously?) to her feeling too under pressure to create masterpieces, unless that’s what the game was aiming for? Oh who cares.

JUST A BIG MESS

Cass “Dead Cat Girl” Milligan: This is a weird one because the story is the same between the game and book (though the book mentions she witnessed a more severe car accident rather than a speeding car which she assumes kills the cat, and the cat isn’t even her cat, it’s a stray) but the story itself is... flawed. According to the book, they wanted to convey the idea that running away from the accident was irresponsible, and she just needed to look back and she’d see her cat is okay, but the game kind of makes it look more like Balan turned back time to save her cat, and the book mentions a serious car crash which I don’t think anyone would willingly return to. I feel there’s a better way to convey this idea of being responsible for your pets, like say her cat escapes from the house and gets lost, and her resolution is going out and properly looking for it. That’s a more effective (and natural) way to relay that message, especially as they weren’t going to commit to the idea of grieving a lost pet.

I’M CONFLICTED

Cal “Chess Daddy” Suresh: God this was a tough call. On one hand Cal’s game backstory is one of the ones most YouTube players single out as the weakest backstory in the game. He’s just “that guy who lost one game of chess”. Being right before Iben’s level certainly doesn’t help. I could honestly write a separate post about how bad the story placements are in this game but that’s too long for here. On the other hand, I still... kinda like it? Like I like this idea of him being a sore loser with a bad temper who needs to learn some humility, sure it’s not as serious as “I almost drowned” or “my parents are dead” but one of the few good things about the game is that it balanced “serious” stories with “benign” ones, if that makes sense. HOWEVER His book scene is... probably one of the best written in the whole book. Which isn’t saying much, but it felt like it hit the intended degree of darkness that the rest of the book was trying to hit. One of my main issues with the book is how much it edged up everyone’s backstory, which doesn’t sound bad but when you have 12 characters with edgy backstories to sit through, it starts to feel like a 14 year old's first attempt at writing an angsty fanfiction very quickly. And yes, Cal’s story is dark and angsty but it felt like the perfect balance of dark and angsty. Or as perfect as the book can get. Like even Balan’s annoying rhyming dialogue sounded good for the tone of the scene. Man maybe I should just do a review of both his backstories in a bigger post. Obviously I could be biased because I’m a sucker for chess aesthetics and dark skinned men with long permed hair so I’m just putting more thought into him but still.

#at the end of the say i'm just some schmuck who talks too much lmao #balan wonderworld

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hailhydra920 · 3 years ago

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Branded For Ruin Pt.3

Chapter 3: Therapy Buddies

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Summary: Bucky Barnes just wants to be a better person by living alone and eating ramen. Too bad court mandated therapy and the girl he met in the waiting room have other plans.

Warnings: None

Part 1 Part 2

Keen blue eyes searched the hall, darting toward every doorway. Once satisfied, Bucky exited his apartment, his basket full of clothing held close to him, Alpine walking beside him. He snuck off to the laundry room, hoping Dot wouldn’t pop out and start up a conversation with him. Worst case scenario, he could toss Alpine onto her face act like it was an accident. Or maybe that was best case scenario. He shook his head and kept walking. His red and blue clothes were drowned by his black and gray clothing, helping him blend into the shadows easier. Finally making it to the laundry room, he let out a soft breath of relief. The only other person in there was Mrs. Kalright, and she was one of the few people Bucky didn’t mind talking with.

He greeted her and walked over to the washing machine. Alpine curled on top of the dryer that has Mrs. Kalright’s clothes in it, his soft body reveling in the warmth it brought. Bucky messed with the buttons on the washer for a while, wondering why Westside Apartments could buy the fanciest washers and dryers on the face of the earth, but couldn’t fix the railing on the stairs. Why did the darned washer need so many buttons anyway? He wanted clean clothes without trying to program it. He saw Mrs. Kalright struggling to carry all her items.

“Do you need any help?” Bucky asked softly.

“You’re such a dear. I would deeply appreciate it.” She said as Bucky took the laundry soap from her hands.

Bucky walked with her back to her apartment. He listened to her sweet old voice as she talked about how her husband hid her favorite mug again, and she hates it, but he thinks it’s funny. Bucky smiles as she talks about her relationship with her husband. Maybe if he hadn’t been drafted, he would have had a life full of love and happiness.

“That Dot woman get you to go out with her yet?” Mrs. Kalright asked with a smile.

Bucky sucked in a breath and shook his head. “No ma’am. I, uh, don’t think she’s my type.”

She laughed. “I don’t think so either.”

They eventually got to her apartment and Bucky helped put her stuff away.

“Thank you for your help, James. Therapy today?”

Bucky sighed as he ran his hand through his hair. “Unfortunately, but I guess it’s part of life.”

“Well, do take care, James.”

“Thank you. I will.” Bucky replied before he left.

~~~~~

“We’re going down! Everyone in the cockpit disappeared! Does anyone know how to fly a plane?!” A flight attendant nearly screamed.

People were screaming in terror as they watched loved ones and friends dust away in front of their eyes. You were breathing fast, what in the world was happening?! The plane was descending fast, and you quickly unbuckled yourself before going up to the frightened attendant.

“I have experience.” You said before siting in the pilot’s seat.

You struggled to get the plane back on course, a layer of sweat was starting to cover your skin. You pulled up with fearful force. You tried to connect to a nearby station but got only static. You cursed as another plane was headed toward you guys. Maneuvering the best you could, you prayed for the best. The opposite plane harshly crashed into the left wing of the plane, and a horrid groan was heard throughout the sky. A forest was coming closer and closer into view as the plane toppled toward the earth. You tried to steady it the best you could, but it looked like the end.

“Brace yourselves!!!” You screamed into the earpiece as the plane crashed into the thick brush of the forest.

You woke up in a cold sweat, your breaths uneven. You threw the covers off of you and set your feet on the cold floor. That was five years ago, when the world was thrown into chaos by Thanos. Only five people other than you survived on the plane that day. You took a deep breath as you remembered. Deciding a warm shower would help ease some of the tension in your body, you ambled toward the bathroom. Therapy was going to be horrible today.

~~~~~

Bucky looked at the stairs like he was looking at Mt. Everest. Therapy was on the sixth floor, and here he was on the first. Taking a deep breath, he started his long journey up the carpeted stairs. He thought about using the railing but saw a few pieces of gum stuck to it and thought better of it. Weren’t people supposed to clean those things? Humming an old 40s tune, he picked up his pace a little. He was looking at some of the pictures that decorated the wall before he stepped wrong and fell. Cursing, he stood up.

“I hate stairs. I hate life. And I especially hate that worker at Starbucks that gets my order wrong on purpose.” Bucky grumbled as he kept trekking his way up.

About halfway there he noticed someone sitting on one of the steps. As he got closer, he recognized the person.

“It’s you.” He spoke gruffly.

Your head jerked up quickly, then you relaxed when you noticed who it was. “Yeah. I’m, uh, Y/n, by the way.”

“Bucky.” He said stretching out his hand.

You shook it with a weak smile.

Bucky stood there awkwardly for a few moments before speaking. “So…therapy, huh?”

He winced as he registered the words he had just said. Had it really been this long since he has had a normal conversation with a stranger?

“Not that therapy is bad.” Bucky said quickly. “But, uh, what’s wrong with you? No, sorry. I haven’t had a decent conversation with people in a while. Um…”

You smiled as he rambled, and you found it cute. He was trying so hard not to seem rude and though you usually didn’t talk to people, you found an odd comfort with him.

“It’s okay.” You replied. “I have court mandated therapy, because of some, um, issues. What about you.”

Bucky rubbed the back of his neck and breathed out. “Pretty much the same as you. Do you, uh, want to walk the rest of the way with me? You don’t have to of course, I just thought—”

You laughed. “Sure.”

He let out a sigh of relief. You stood up and walked beside Bucky up the stairs. You walked in silence, but it was a silence you could be calm with. It was a peace you hadn’t felt in a long time. And you may have found yourself a therapy buddy.

Perm Tags: @sleep-i-ness @thefridgeismybestie

#Bucky Barnes #bucky x reader #james buchanan barnes #james buchanan barnes x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fic #therapy #tfatws #tfatws bucky

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sanchoyo · 3 years ago

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danny phantom episode 4-7 Thoughts: (under a readmore because, these got kinda long!)

-the outfit danny had to buy for dash's party. CLASSIC 2000S i cannot stop laughing. And also showing up to the party and everyone is dressed like the trio is hilarious. and further proof that everyone looks good dressed goth.

-dash has a closet full of cute lil bear plushies?? LOVE that. adorable. also his response to danny trashing his room fighting a ghost was SO valid if somone BROKE MY BED IN HALF ID BE PISSED TOO.

-technus being like 'oh smart, u should be a tutor!' then later being like 'forget tutor, be a teacher!' :) supportive king <3 I also really like his upgraded suit/design. AND SPOCK CAMEO??? HELLO??

-the music in this show is super. its so funky. I looked it up and the guy who does it, guy moon (awesome name) also did music for other cartoons like fairly odd parents, barnyard, chalkzone, billy & mandy, AND some actual movies like FIGHT CLUB??? the whiplash I got from reading that)

-sam being rich explains a lot about her, actually.

-I know the moral of the episode was supposed to be 'dont ditch your friends for popular people/spend a lot of money on clothes that arent You to Fit In'. but tbh. it wouldve been easy for danny to have been like 'well, okay, ill come but only if my friends can!' but I get. that hes 14. so. not a lot to say there.

-BOX GHOST IS BACK!!!!! also, danny sitting up and wearing the dress/wig/makeup. umm thats how I dress everyday LMFAO. unironically me. (hate the jokes that boil down to 'haha funney man in dress' tho. but this is a look)

-jazz being protective of her brother once again being like NOOO YOU GUYS BETTER NOT STAKE OUT HIS (actually haunted) LOCKER!! shes aware of how people perceive him and she wants to help :( which is also probably why she told dash to invite him to that party even tho she had no interest in going!! she wants to help him out :(

-gotta say im with tucker on the whole 'should danny use his powers to get back at bullies' debate. 100% yes. let him teach kids to fight back. making dash throw his food at paulina out of the blue? no. but when hes actually about to pick on someone? yeah! for self defense? YEAH! if dash and his friends just threw food at him, I think rather than. idk doing sneaky shit with frogs he couldve just threw it back and not pulled punches if they tried to fight. I kNOOWWW its a kids show so they are like 'if u fight back ur just as bad!! violence bad!!' but. theyre HIS POWERS. WHO CARES.

-like my only gripe is that dash really isnt LEARNING ANYTHING WHEN DANNY GETS BACK AT HIM IN THE MOST PETTY INDIRECT WAYS. whatever they had to add a bully psa episode I guess. I hate it and I hate the way cartoons usually handle it because these methods simply Do Not Work. 'aND YouRE USinG YOur poWErs FOR EVill???!' this is Not Evil. even when poindexter takes dannys body, theyre only being 'nice' bc hes stealing soda for them!! bitches deserve what they get (nothing too brutal bc theyre high schoolers but damn, if they pick on danny he doesnt need to be the 'bigger person' he needs to start biting people)

-SAM TRYING TO SMUGGLE FROGS OUT OF THE BIO LAB?? girl in middle school when we had to dissect frogs we could opt out, also, they came to us already dead and preserved...

-sidney's lingo and the fact hes in black and white is sending me. also, danny is a ghost celebrity apparently for being a halfa?? ok. thats interesting to know

-the DENTIST BEING EXCITED ABOUT THE COTTON CANDY FLOOD IS THE FUNNIEST THING SO FAR.

-I LOOOVE the trope of 'wishes gone wrong'. not crazy about the stereotypical genie, or the use of the dreamcatcher looking design. (also, I KNOW theyre scientists but the way theyre handling a cold...are the fentons ANTIVAX)

-the genie. she. whitewished paulina. JKASDFHKJ. (the ghost literally just being hello kitty???? im dying) 'why do i feel that im special and wonderful? because I AM! <3' paulina ilu self worth queen. felt bad for her also getting possessed by (2) boys later who were arguing INSIDE HER. WTF.

-imagine being the guy trapped in his now flying car. he thought danny and tucker were HALUCINATIONS. imagine being trapped in a flying car with two, what you think are imaginary arguing 14 year olds convinced ur gonna die. i WOULD say this dude is gonna need so much therapy, but he seemed totally fine and excited when they landed (I would be happy too if a chicken was on my head. chickens rule) stoner rights

-sam's bat slippers??? iconic. SO cute.

-I think desiree's backstory is so :( do all ghosts have messed up sad backstories?? poindexter's was sad too...cannot imagine box ghost has any kind of fucked up backstory. but what if. his mom got pushed off cliffs by boxes...........a la cruella... anyway her 'no man may lay a hand on me' iconic. ilu

-I know danny has no concept of how much bras cost but my god dont attack tucker with some girls bra. those are so expensive.

-its really. well its not a GOOD THING he went into the portal and got fucked up, but its good danny was the one to do it rather than sam or tucker. because even tho he was being influenced by desiree and kept getting more malicious and it prob wasnt 100% him...he sucked as a ghost like most the people he 'pranked' were innocent ppl just Chillin and he didnt want to help anyone at all. I think danny is the most responsible out of them but also, hes 14 and shouldnt HAVE to feel obligated to fight every ghost. hes a good kid and wants to, but I also feel like he feels like...responsible for the portal turning on?? because his parents did give it up,, but it was an accident and not his fault (if anything, why was the on switch on the inside. why was it that easy. why was there no safety measures. that seems like smth OSHA needs to hear about). like thats my son. hes a good boy. and hes never done anything wrong in his life, ever. if anyone hurts him im killing everyone in this room and then myself. etc.

-danny's curfew is 10PM????? DUDE. when I was 14...shit I couldn't be out that late, I had to be back at like, 8 at the latest, and my parents had to know exactly where and who I was going with, AND i had to call/text them regularly...is this a case of my parents being overbearing, or the fentons sucking??? the only time i could EVER be out that late was if I was at an overnight sleepover or smth...

-the vultures have lil fezes. why do they have fezes...theyre so fuckin funny 'ask him for directions' 'I KNOW WHERE IM GOING' these ghost vultures are my new grandpas. pick them up, put them in the adopt box.

-'I wonder why those guys were trying to waste dad!' THEYRE GHOSTS. YOUR DAD HUNTS GHOSTS. why is that not a conclusion you'd immediately jump to??

-*jazz voice, clearly disgusted* WISCONSIN???

-mrs fenton with the lab coat and leg warmers and PERM. YESSS STYLISH.

-was going to say 'ew billionaire' @vlad but. super valid he used his powers to assumedly steal and cheat to get that money, thats how all billionaires do it! but ew hes a SIMP. and spending your billions on FOOTBALL STUFF?? you are Not Valid overall. I DO respect the fact you have a castle instead of a mansion. in wisconsin. if youre going to be stupidly rich might as well go all out, torches on the wall and all. I DO like his ghost form's little kitty ears. catman. and his cape! every design can benefit from a cape. and how different his forms look, like danny looks the EXACT SAME IN BOTH FORMS ASIDE FROM COLOR CHANGES. vlad's is like,, I could believe they were different people!! also I love the drama. but dude you are fighting a 14 year old. lame. also he was like, telling danny he wanted his mom and him and like, wanted him to renounce his dad?? WHAT ABOUT JAZZ?? bitch. those r MY kids and they are both important and special. I do agree they need better parents but thats not u sir <3

-I thought vlad's 'little badger' nickname for danny came from the football mascot of the packers, but google says they have NO MASCOT?? so now I'm like?? is it because his hair is sometimes black and sometimes white?? I hate to give him props but thats a PERFECT NICKNAME. theyre also tiny and vicious!

-why did I get so excited that Skulker is back!! its been like. 2-3 eps LMAO. AND THE DAIRY KING. ICONIC I LOVE HIM. hes the nicest guy ever :) more nice ghosts please. danny cannot be fighting alone everytime with no ghost buds like every ghost being hostile sucks :(

-mr. fenton knew vlad was controlling him, but a few episodes ago he had no clue danny was doing the same thing...is it something about how malicious the ghost is?? he just seemed to think his memory had gaps the first time, this time he was INSTANTLY LIKE 'GHOST'. then again in this ep when danny did it again he was just slightly confused but not immediately freaking out like he did with vlad possessing him!!

-'my parents will accept ME NO MATTER WHAT' so. so why haven't you come out to them yet, danny?? if you really think that?? if theres no harm, and you're sure??? if vlad is a real problem, wouldnt that make dealing with him easier, to expose him???? SO WHY HAVENT YOU COME OUT YET?? COULD IT BE,, MAYBE YOU HAVE DOUBTS ABOUT WHETHER YOUR PARENTS ACTUALLY WILL ACCEPT YOU??? 🤔 ... 🏳‍🌈 I get why people say He Is Trans. I totally totally get u danny.

-sorta unrelated, but it just occurred to me in one of these eps they go to casper HIGH not casper middle school??? theyre 14?? dont highschools usually do ages 15-18? (I didnt go to hs so I might be wrong, if I am ignore this...) freshmen are usually 14-15, could just be a case of them not turning 15 yet but they will sometime in the school year (I say they because tucker said he was 14 too)? I know the show has 3 seasons, so by the end of it will they be older? thatd be neat but usually cartoon characters stay the same age...I love shows where you can see the characters age and grow up, though...three seasons seems like a long time to spend on like, 1 year...

#sanchoyorambles #danny phantom #me on the first post:#its not a liveblog!#me this time: it kinda is. but not in the same format as my tmm one #i like doing one post for a handful of eps bc it saves time #and crowds my blog less #and also i just like talking abt what im watching lol #dp thoughts

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project-paranoia · 3 years ago

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Live Watch: S.C.I. Mystery Episode One

I enjoy camp because I've always enjoyed analysis and examination. I enjoy looking at something from all sides, testing it with my fingertips. When I was a child I would sit for hours just looking at something until I had it all held in my mind and I felt like I understood it. Camp necessitates that understanding the way that imitation and - good - parody requires it. To quote Susan Sontag - who articulated what camp is so well - Camp is "a sensibility that revels in artifice, stylisation, theatricalisation, irony, playfulness, and exaggeration rather than content." Because of this camp takes on head to head gender, sexuality, expectations, any sort of defined norm and sequins it up then shakes it down until understanding comes out. When understanding something there are three major ways to work your investigation - what it is, what it's imitation is - the close but not quite, and what it isn't. Camp handles all three, to quote again: "Camp sees everything in quotation marks. It's not a lamp, but a 'lamp; not a woman, but a 'woman.'"

Why are we talking about camp? Because SCI Mystery is some of the best kind of camp outside of drag or screaming about wire hangers. It deals a lot with mental illness in a way that would destroy a serious show, but in this one "mental illness" is a metaphor for being marginalised and a way to talk about the mouse and cat in the room. This show is about being queer. About being gay loudly and quietly, about resisting specific labels and needing them, about the threat of a cure and the blessing of acceptance. All the messy realities of queer life as varied as queer people. Like Lil Nas X's Montero, you can appreciate the effort without being comfortable with it. While the show's allegory of mental illness when many queer people are still told they are ill is done well and there is reason to the choices and tone, things are said which can be hard to hear. Knowing they're there because they're hard to hear and have been heard doesn't help everyone.

With all that said, it's also a fun, silly bl drama. Don't let the analysis scare you off. While the information about camp can be something to be aware of, all this show requires to be enjoyed is a willingness to be amused and spooked in turns.

You know the drill, spoilers below!

* I have memorised the youku sound, I have a triggered response with it. Not all triggers are bad, this one reminds me of Guardian

* Welcome to episode one where we just leap in! But don't worry, one of them has a cute earring and they are colour coordinated.

* Watching from youtube the episode is 38 minutes long while most of the others are 45. Attach whatever emotion you want to that fact.

* The exposition is handily delivered by asking a question which tells us some things, thank you show, I appreciate it

* First episode and he's already giving his partner an in case I don't come back letter to be opened if he dies

* Wait for me!~ Go!~~

* Slow walk with dramatic music: 1 (don't make this a drinking game You Will Expire) this time with bonus almost looking back

* I've seen a similar shot on Hawaii Five O

* Don't explain what's happening, just knock everything over with a jump kick in some absolutely spotless white tennies

* Running with dramatic music with bonus looking back: Does it count? We have yet to hear back from the judges

* They leap into the water with an explosion behind them, we are less than 2 minutes in and I love that for them

* At first I thought the boats were making a big heart before I remembered that I am very silly and they are not doing that

* This one is going to be long

* I can see his pockets through his trousers, why are his trousers so thin?

* It's not kissing to dramatic music in the surf if it's CPR

* Each story line has its own intro and that's very sexy of them

* Slow walk/dramatic music: 2-6

* These people are totally goofy and and yet the Seriousness

* Two Weeks Ago!

* The police school bus has arrived to shoo away the crows circling around Dr. Zhan staring (dramatically) at the body

* Sport scar policeman dresses even more unprofessionally than Zhao Yunlan who at least looks like a detective who was jumped by so many criminals he just gave up wearing a suit and went for jeans. Chief Bai's clothes are so thin, I'm under constant anxiety someone is going to tear them off.

* Also several of the cast pictures on MyDramaList look like the pictures your auntie insists taking to send to your other aunties and I love that for them

* Triple axil spin from the victim, the judges are loving it - this is the camp I'm here for

* The dramatic slo mo and music budget for this show was so big, just as it should be

* He's mad because he's angy

* Master Psychiatrist can tell all about the killer from crouching by the body, it's a trope and this is one of the few places I like it because it serves the show instead of the show serving it

* When you're almost boyfriend is going away for reasons and it's not your decision but you can't go with him because of your job so you're just low key bitter about it

* "You can't control me"

* The pettiness between these two

* Professional women who worked hard to get where they are still are constantly obsessed with boys according to most cdramas

*The male posturing in those three second has accidentally circled back around to being gay in the way those bro shows accidentally do and I love that

* I live for this 80s-90s police chief perm

* The Pettiness

* I always tend to like doctor characters, I don't know why. Even when they aren't my favourites I like them.

* She's kind of adorable, I like her (I've seen a lot of this show and every time I say I like someone it ends badly ;-; )

* "the victems"

* If you love Creative English, this is the show for you!

* Chief Bai's crew is trying so hard to get them back together

* Dr. Zhan is so good at psychology he can tell what someone looks like from some tire tracks - this trope is used all the time in crime shows, but they push it a little farther in SCI and it really helps the viewer know what the rules for the show are

* The scene in the psychiatrist's office hearkens back to queer coded villains and the way they're treated in old black and white horror cinema - but done so artfully it's almost invisible. It's incredibly well done, and the awareness of tropes and types all throughout the series is tremendously successful as much as it's campy fun.

* There's also the trope of someone who manipulates someone into feeling like they've been "purified" and then weaponises them against the "filthy". And of course the fact that the killer's blade is a mirror - that he's killing in others what he sees in himself. This trope hasn't just been queer-coded but has been applied to any sort of physical or mental disorder. Thesis have been written about this trope and the anxiety attached to it. I can't write them better and this is long enough, it's just a small part of the excellent handling of the themes showing up in this genre and I wanted to point it out because it deserves appreciation for the skill and knowledge in the writing.

* The whole you need evidence vs you're saying psychoanalysis isn't trustworthy feels very much like a coded angry exes discussion

* I love the establishing shots, so good

* He kind of deserved that door to the face, what was he even doing

* Police violence in crime shows is supposed to be a release for the viewer, but many countries have issues with police violence so it hits wrong. Here it's far more performative in a way that at least has some awareness

* The weirdest phone call, you call someone to tell them something important and they say two things to you and hang up

* The tongue thing, why always the tongue thing?

* When a serial killer tries to compliment you by calling you a carnivore and you shut down the whole alpha male supposition by calling yourself a vegetarian

* At this point I've written almost fifteen hundred words and taken almost two hours to watch 23 minutes

* This is my life, these are my choices

* Dutch Angles

* You could make this conversation about being gay, I have had this conversation about homosexuality before

* Unfortunately while I had it I was on the bus trapped in a window seat

* The conversation didn't end with me saying something cool and everyone clapping

* They just got off the bus to go to work

* The banality of evil, yo

* Her shorts are Incredibly Short, good for her

* "arrest the perp behind my back" that's his job, broheim

* He doesn't ask why she checked behind their ears

* DUN dun dun!

* Slo mo file drop, and of course the file is blood stained and aged

* Chalk Art of Doom

* Chinese word play!

* Caught almost putting his coat over his crush, embarrassing XD

* Backstory!

* I love all the little character details, I could quote lines I think are funny all day but that would start getting silly

* Bai Yu Tong is marked as clean and having OCD but we don't see what's apparently a huge character trait at all other than the all white, do love that he's good at cooking

* Dr. Zhan: Brilliant! Genius! Cannot feed himself.

* Dr. Gong has indifference level 100% which is true and also I love that for him

* I love that Wang Shao part of the team because he's good at making friends, I love that for him

* Poor Zhao Fu: scared of ghosts and dumb and sweet? At least he has an 8 pack

* Jiang Lin is very tropey except the mention of her nearsightedness

* Ma Han's height 1.7m and legs 1.8m is hilarious and I love it

* I stopped recording the slo mo walks, but if you were drinking along with them you might be dead so I really appreciate you taking time out of your afterlife to continue reading. We appreciate all our ghost readers

* And that's the first episode! Thanks for making it to the end!

#SCI Mystery #SCI谜案集 #watchthrough #let's watch

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kinktae · 5 years ago

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bitchin’ || pt. 5 (M)

↳ PART OF MY REWIND SERIES

The 80s were a time of choices. Which perm was right for you? What color neon would you wear next? None of these choices, however, were more questionable than a certain deal you made with Jeon Jungkook.

pairing: fratboy!jungkook x reader

word count: 6k

genre: 1980s au, eventual smut, e2l

warnings: drunk sex, sober sex, fingering, handjob, sum tongue dick action, y/n has her first orgasm lol & JK getting a FAT ego about it

A/N: This fic was inspired by To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. Thank you to @junqkook for letting me use her likeness!

OFFICIAL PLAYLIST

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

PART FIVE

“Man, I wish microwaveable popcorn was a thing when we were kids. Remember what a pain it was to make popcorn over the stove?”

You and Jungkook were sat up against the side of his bed, a bag of popcorn in between you.

“I once set an entire pot of kernels on fire when I was ten. The whole stovetop just whooshed into flames.”

You nodded at Jungkook’s words, “You know, that really doesn’t surprise me.”

“Yeah?” Jungkook laughed.

“I always figured you were a chaotic child,” You mused, taking a swig from the bottle of vodka, “my question is… why were you allowed to use the stovetop unsupervised at ten years old? Where were your parents?”

“Lawyer parents, remember? I did whatever the hell I wanted.”

You frowned, “Well, what happened? Did you burn the house down?”

Jungkook took this moment to grab the bottle from you, taking a sip of his own.

“Hmm? Oh no, the maid just put it out, and I went upstairs to play Atari or something.” He shrugged. You rolled your eyes.

“You rich kids are annoying.”

Jungkook merely flashed you a smile, popping a kernel into his mouth as he chewed it languidly.

“Did you know that Francis Crick and James Watson didn’t actually discover the double helix shape of DNA?” You brought up suddenly, eyes wide.

“What?” Was all Jungkook could reply, too drunk to understand the sudden turn the conversation had taken.

“Yeah! They actually based their findings on a colleague's. Rosalind Franklin. Her images are what revealed DNA to be in the shape of a helix.”

Jungkook’s said nothing, his eyes quietly resting on you, clearly intoxicated.

You quirked up an eyebrow, “What?”

“Nothing you’re just… so lame.” He observed.

“Hey!”

“No, no, no. Lame but, like, in a cool way.”

“Was that meant to be a compliment? Because I’m still offended.” You deadpanned.

“Isn’t it interesting that even when drunk you’re still a nerd? Like does your brain ever shut off?” Jungkook continued, eyebrows furrowing as if your intelligence was indeed some unsolved mystery.

“Are you even listening to me, meathead? Rosalind Franklin discovered DNA’s shape yet those two dinguses got all the credit! How the hell is that fair?”

“Woahhhh… that’s kinda bunk.” Jungkook’s eyes went round.

“Totally bunk!” You emphasized, throwing your hands up in disbelief.

For a moment, silence fell over the two, soaking in the injustice of it all.

Jungkook was the first to break the silence.

“Tell me about the best sex you’ve ever had.”

Your eyes flickered over to him, equal parts confused and surprised at where he had chosen to take the conversation.

Then again… this was Jungkook you were talking about.

“Mine was the night after prom in my car outside my date’s house.”

You hardly paid Jungkook’s confession any mind, too in your head to even absorb any additional information.

“Well, I’ve only ever been with Erik…” You explained vaguely, still trying to sort through all your sexual encounters with your ex.

“Okay, then what was the best sex you guys ever had?”

Tilting your head to the side, you furrowed your eyebrows.

It wasn’t like sex with Erik was terrible. You loved him and loved that you got to be intimate with him in that way. But as far as which time was the best… well, you supposed they were all pretty much the same.

“Maybe the night of my 18th birthday? It was the closest I ever came to–” You cut yourself off, your words falling from you before you could think about what it was you were about to reveal to Jungkook.

Jungkook's head cocked to the side, causing his hair to shift.

"Closest you came to what?"

“To, uh… an orgasm?” You admitted, a shy smile on your face.

“You’ve never orgasmed during sex?!”

Your hands flew out to cover Jungkook's gaping mouth, giggles filling the room.

“I mean… no, not really.”

“Not really?!” He let out a breath of disbelief.

"It's not like either of us knew what we were doing. We were each other's first time." You shrugged.

This answer didn't see to satiate him, however, as he shook his head, “Y/N, you really are missing out. You should make sure your next partners are better.”

“Well, it’s not like I’ve just got a pool of people interested in me to pick from.”

The messy-haired boy scrunched up his nose, flashing you a look as if he was questioning your IQ.

“Of course, you do! Listen. Believe me when I say some guys dig that whole subtle yet sexy nerd thing you got going on.”

“Uh, thanks. I think?” You replied stiffly, staring down at the bag of popcorn that was growing increasingly empty. Was that Jungkook's doing or yours?

Your drunken curiosity was sated the second a handful of popcorn found your fake boyfriend's mouth.

“What about you?”

Jungkook paused at your words, turning to you in muddled confusion.

“Have I orgasmed during sex?” He frowned, mouth full of the buttery snack.

“No, you dickwad." You snickered, grabbing the bottle from his side, twisting back on the cap. "Are you into nerdy girls? Or do you only like girls who only like you once they think you've lost interest in them?”

It was a dig at Kiri, you knew it was, but quite frankly you had just enough alcohol in your system to not care. As far as your interaction with her went, she was not a nice person enough for you to even consider feeling bad.

“Is this your way of asking if I’d fuck you? Because the answer is a hard yes.”

You let out a laugh, lightly shoving Jungkook’s shoulder, ignoring how his breezy comment had made your stomach flip.

“I’m serious. I’m curious as to what kind of people you’re attracted to.”

“Honestly, I can't remember the last time I genuinely liked someone. I mean, I know when my dick likes someone but…”

Jungkook could see the confusion cross your face.

“Wait, what about Kiri? Don’t you like her?”

“What? Oh, yeah. Yeah, of course.” He shook his head as if to refocus his thoughts.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I really don't understand why you want to get back with her so badly. She left you for your fraternity brother. I don't think your relationship is very healthy— for either of you." You confessed.

You had been thinking about this ever since the first day you met Jungkook; it was only just now that you had gotten the chance to tell him.

“There's a lot of history between us, Y/N. She's my best friend... or at least she was. I don't know. Things are different now, but it's hard just to call it quits after all this time."

For a split second, you wanted to ask if he even still loved her, but realizing it really didn't matter, you held your tongue.

"You guys look good together." You said instead. "She's hot, you're hot. You're both in Greek life..."

Had he been sober, Jungkook would have undoubtedly commented on the fact that you had called him hot, but instead, he just drunkenly nodded, murmuring a small word of agreement.

"Tell me about Erik." Jungkook spoke finally after the two of you fell silent.

You let your head fall back, resting against the bed.

"What about him?"

"Everything. How did you guys start dating? What was he like? Why did you guys break up?"

You let out a hum, bringing your knees to your chest.

"We were both in the biotech academy, although he went to a neighboring high school. We met at a chemistry competition, actually." You began, wrapping your arms around your shins.

"Ah, yes, the beginning to every dorky love story." Jungkook nodded, coaxing a soft chuckle from you.

"Yeah. You could say we looked good together too."

Jungkook shifted, bringing an arm up to place on the bed as he leaned into his side to get a better look at you.

"He was kind of perfect, you know. Charming, good looking, smart... like, really smart. The kind of smart that inspired me to work harder because, well, I really wanted to be a girlfriend he could be proud of."

It was strange to hear you talk like this. As far as Jungkook knew, everything you did was for yourself. Not in a selfish way but in a way that was empowering and self-governing; he couldn't really couldn't imagine you living any other way.

“So then why did you break up?” Jungkook asked, eating some more popcorn. "I mean, other than his inability to bring you to climax."

"He asked me to marry him."

Jungkook paused mid-chew.

"Woah, right after high school? That's crazy!"

You gave him a soft smile, "Actually, I said yes."

Jungkook’s mind was whirling. You had agreed to marry your high school sweetheart? The idea wasn’t super far fetched, certainly not in the town where the two of you were from, but it certainly didn’t feel like something you’d ever do.

You watched expectantly as Jungkook’s gaze fell onto your left hand’s ring finger. It was free of any kind of jewelry, however.

"Erik was a wonderful boyfriend. He used to shower me with compliments; said I was beautiful, funny, and all he could ever want, but, you know, he never once called me smart.”

You straightened up, waving a hand in front of you as you began to clarify what you meant.

“Obviously, I don’t need to be reminded that I’m smart. I’m confident in myself and my abilities. But it’s true, he never acknowledged any of my achievements.”

Jungkook’s expression softened. You had said it matter-of-factly, but he could imagine how hard that must have been for the person you loved not to take the time to recognize how hard you worked.

“At first I didn’t really mind all the sly comments and disinterested replies– if anything, it just propelled me to work harder; I just wanted to impress him. It didn’t matter in the end though. Because no matter how many extracurriculars I joined or how many tests I aced, it was never enough to interest him.”

“But he was so charming and otherwise a good boyfriend so I never really said anything. I loved him. So, I said yes.”

“But… you didn’t marry him.” Jungkook added. You nodded through a sigh.

"It was the day after he proposed, I had just found out I was granted my scholarship that would take me to college here, but instead of celebrating with me, he got upset. He didn’t understand why I was so insistent on going to college when he was going to become some bigshot doctor that make enough for both of us. He said he would take care of everything.” You recalled. "And I know that's all some people want to hear– that they'll be taken care of. But..."

"But not you." Jungkook said.

"I want to be able to take care of me. I want to be able to wake up every day and do something I love... and I want the person I love to be excited about that, too. To encourage me to follow my dreams. And as much as I loved Erik, I wasn’t willing to let all my hard work amount to nothing. I had something to prove to every teacher that doubted me, to my dad– to myself.”

Jungkook wished he could articulate all the thoughts that were running his head. He would tell you that he understood that you made the right decision. He wanted to say that Erik was an asshole for ever making you feel like you weren’t enough. But Jungkook was drunk and his heart was pounding too loud as he watched the way your breathing grew heavier, clearly somewhat emotional.

“Erik needed someone to depend on him, to sit at home and listen to his day, all while being smart enough to hold a conversation as long as it was about him and his achievements. Once I came to terms with that, I gave back the ring." You revealed.

Jungkook ran his tongue over his bottom lip, the surface dried out from the popcorn’s salt.

"How did that go?”

“Actually, surprisingly well.” You mused. “Don’t get me wrong, we were totally crying like idiots — we were each other’s first love after all — but he admitted that he was surprised I said yes in the first place. I think he really hoped I’d be the kind of wife he wanted, but, deep down, he knew that I just wasn’t that girl.”

“I think you were wrong about him.”

Turning your head over to the frat boy, you furrowed your brows together, “Huh?”

“You said he was some super-smart genius, right? I think you’re wrong. Only a moron would ask a girl like you to shrink yourself just so he could feel big.” Jungkook glowered.

You said nothing, bringing your chin to rest on top one of your knees as you stared at the suddenly angry boy beside you.

“If anything, Erik couldn’t cope with the fact that you were probably smarter than him. I know my man ego is frail, but god damn his was paper-thin. You’re formidable, Y/N. Completely and utterly capable of anything you set your mind to and anyone who gets scared off by that isn’t worth your fucking time.”

“Jungkook…” You muttered, a strange feeling in your stomach fluttering.

“I’m serious, nerd. You’re like… um… the sun!” Jungkook marveled, eyes growing full as the realization dawned on him.

“The sun?” You laughed.

“Yeah, like… you’re this bright, beautiful thing that seems like it’s here in front of me but is really light-years away.”

Jungkook was drunk, and although you were sure he was making more sense in his head, you couldn’t help but feel your face grow hot, unsure of how to react to his drunk analogy.

“You’re the sun, Y/N. You make the world turn for you. Never orbit for anyone else.”

And suddenly, you were kissing him, for no other reason other than you wanted to and that it felt like the right thing to do.

His hands found your waist, ushering you onto his lap so that he could kiss you easier, wasting no time in reciprocating. Gripping your thighs, he left out a sigh as your mouth found his neck.

“What are you doing, silly girl?” He cooed, causing your insides to squirm.

“Guess I’m also a frisky drunk.” You muttered into his neck, letting your tongue run against it.

“Yeah?” Jungkook hummed, letting his eyes fall shut.

“Well, I have drunkenly kissed Yara more times than I probably should.” You admitted, pulling away from him.

“And here I thought I was special. You’re a heartbreaker, Y/N.” Jungkook let out a dramatic scoff, hand slapping against the side of your thigh ever so lightly.

He was expecting a witty comment in response, or at least a drunken giggle. What he wasn’t expecting was the way you’re eyes were fixated on his revealed torso, a shy but unmistakably wanton expression on your face.

“What is it?”

Your eyes flashed back up to his in surprise.

“Tell me. If there’s something you want, you have to tell me so I can give it to you.”

“W-What?” You stammered.

“You’ve been ogling me ever since I walked into your dorm.” He continued coolly. “You don’t have to pretend like you’re indifferent towards me, because I know you’re not.”

He sat up suddenly, causing your ears to heat up as his face suddenly neared yours.

“So, if you want something, tell me.” He muttered lowly, one of his hands grabbing yours as he pressed it against his torso.

Biting your lip, you let your fingers run against the firm surface of his abs before, to both your and Jungkook’s surprise, your hand found the crotch of your fake lover’s sweats.

A sharp breath came tumbling from Jungkook’s lips as you began to palm over his already semi-hard cock. For a moment, Jungkook wondered if he had drunk himself stupid and that this was just an inebriated hallucination. The feeling of your mouth finding his collarbones told him very quickly that he was, in fact, still awake.

“This what you need, hm? Need my cock?”

You let your teeth nip at Jungkook’s hot skin, protesting against his mocking words. Your actions did nothing to deter the boy, however, as a low moan fell from him.

You could feel the way he had stiffened under your hand’s ministrations, thrilling the most primal part of you.

Fingering the waistband of his sweats, you let out a heavy breath, “This is wrong.”

This was extremely wrong. You should not be seconds away from taking the dick of your pretend boyfriend into your hand, especially when he was planning on going back to his ex. Speaking of which, Kiri was probably still somewhere downstairs.

“Morality sucks.”

You pulled away from Jungkook’s neck with eyes wide. He had a cocky smirk on his face, undoubtedly smug at the way he had quoted Glen Lantz just now. It was the kind of expression that any other occasion would summon a scoff from you but given the circumstances, you couldn’t help but return it back to him.

“Get on the bed. Lay down for me.” Jungkook ordered, causing your stomach to do a flip.

You gave him a timid nod before moving up from his lap.

You had hardly had your back on the bed before his mouth found yours, newfound desperation in his movements. You struggled to keep up with the kiss, too consumed in the feeling of his warm palm making it down the fabric of your sweater, running under it as he searched for the button of your pants.

With his tongue against your neck, his hand found slipped between your thighs, pressing against the wet patch of your underwear. You flinched, it had been so long since someone else had touched you like this.

“You okay?” He asked suddenly, pulling away from your neck. He wanted to make sure it was okay to touch you like this.

“Yeah. Just been a while.” You confessed, face hot.

And just like that, his touch lightened, trailing up and down your clothed slit carefully. It was meant to be gentle but his feather-like touch caused your hips to jerk, the feeling trying you crazy. You could hardly stay still as he began to kiss you, fingers slowly quickening in speed.

You tugged at his hair, knowing now the way he liked it and you preen with pride as it made him rut against your thigh.

Whining as he suddenly sank two fingers into you, Jungkook broke the kiss, moving to sit upon his knees to get a better look at you as he began to fuck into you.

You were certainly a sight to see, eyes struggling to stay open as you lost yourself to the feeling, small cries escaping you as he rolled over your clit. His free hand was gripping your thigh, enjoying the way it was shaking under his touch.

As much as you wanted to maintain yourself, your hips had a mind of their own, rolling up to meet every thrust, desperate for his touch. Jungkook’s eyes never left you and it wasn’t long before it became too much.

“Jungkook... stop staring at me.” You whined, finally.

“Sorry, you’re just so sensitive. I like watching your reactions.” Jungkook admitted lowly, chuckling as you moaned in response to a particularly hard thrust.

Heat rocketed up to your neck, forcing you to look away.

“S-Shut up, I hate you.”

“Considering how wet you are for me, I have a hard time believing that, baby.”

“Dammit, just fuck me already.” You begged.

As much as the thought of coming undone on his fingers appealed to you, you would be damned if you left this party without his dick going inside of you. You didn’t know if you’d ever get another chance like this one and the alcohol in your system would be the perfect excuse for doing this in the first place.

Jungkook felt his balls tightened, the idea alone exciting him.

“Well, since you asked so nicely.” He teased dryly, moving back in between your legs, hand gripping the edge of his shirt to pull it over his head.

“Wait!” You cried out before you could stop yourself, immediately wishing you could take back the exclamation.

“What? What’s wrong?” Jungkook worried, eyes growing wide in concern.

“N-No, leave it on.”

Dammit, dammit!

It slipped out of your mouth before you had the chance to stop yourself.

You had a massive crush on Johnny Depp, so the second Jungkook pulled up to your dorm dressed as Glenn Lantz you knew you were done for. The idea of Glenn Lantz fucking you had you embarrassingly excited and now Jungkook knew that.

You were expecting Jungkook to laugh or make some slick comment that would inevitably convince you out of letting him put his dick inside you, but to your surprise, he merely smirked, first wrapping around his cock as he lead himself to your wet entrance.

Your fingers dug into his shoulders as he sunk into you, the stretch stealing a breath from you. Shutting your eyes, you felt as he finally bottomed out; it had been so long since you had felt this full and you almost forgot the feeling.

Jungkook cursed into your neck, kissing the skin there to calm himself down. You felt so good wrapped around him but the last thing he needed was him cumming early and you thinking he was a one pump chump.

Your soft whines and the way your hips were moving into his was his sign to start moving, clearly adjusted to him inside you.

You should have expected that Jungkook would be good at his, but the way he instantly found the right pace and angle caught you off guard, robbing you of a moan.

“Fuck.”

You sounded so pretty like this and Jungkook’s chest swelled at the thought that your sounds were for him.

“Fuck, you feel so good. So tight and wet for me.” He grunted.

Gripping the back of his neck, you brought Jungkook into a kiss, missing the way his tongue tasted against yours. The kiss didn’t last for long as an unfamiliar feeling formed inside you, causing you to shut your eyes close.

Jungkook hardly noticed, his cock was pounding in you as he chased after the way you cried out his name.

“Jungkook– ah!” You lost footing of your voice, momentarily distracted by a particularly hard thrust.

“Ah, fuck. W-Wait, stop.”

Jungkook froze at your words, licking at his lips as he pulled away from your neck, stilling his hips.

“Are you okay?” Jungkook asked, eyes running over you to see if he had somehow hurt you. Your breathing was labored and you were biting down onto your bottom lip, hair fanned out on either side and if Jungkook weren’t so concerned, he would’ve taken a moment to admire just how beautiful you were like this.

“Y-Yes, I’m… I just...” You breathed, hips jerking up into Jungkook’s.

The action didn’t go unnoticed by him, of course, and it wasn’t until he realized just how tightly you were wrapped around his cock that he understood exactly what was wrong.

“Do you need to cum?”

The question alone elicited a whimper from you and within a second, Jungkook’s thumb found your clit.

A high pitch moan left your swollen lips and Jungkook took that as his cue to rock back into you.

“You’re just so wound up, huh? Wanna come all over my cock, is that right?” Jungkook was at your neck now, tasting the salt on your skin as he whispered filth into it.

“Jungkook— fuck!” You moaned, eyes fluttering shut.

“I’m making a mess of little pussy of yours, aren’t I? No wonder you’re so desperate to cum. You need it so bad, don’t you?”

“Y-Yes.” Was your weak reply, your heavy breaths nearly swallowing up your answer entirely.

“You’re okay, ah, I’ve got you, baby. I’ll take care of you. Just relax and think about how nice my cock is stretching you out.” Jungkook grunted, his own orgasm starting to catch up with him.

A broken came tumbling out at the sheer intensity of stimulation, especially as Jungkook grabbed on of your thighs and pushed it up to your chest, allowing for a deeper angle.

“Doin’ so good. So good for me.” He rasped out, so close to cumming.

It was Jungkook’s words of praise that finally sent you over the edge, back arching against the bed as white spots filled your vision. You could only vaguely make out the feeling of Jungkook pulling out of you to release his own climax onto your stomach, pulling up your sweater just in time to save it from the ungodly cum stains.

You flopped back onto the bed with a huff, eyes wide and still shaking from the aftershocks. Jungkook was rubbing at your thighs encouragingly, watching the way you slowly came down from your orgasm.

For a moment neither of you said a word, pants and heavy breathing filling the air instead.

“Holy shit.” You finally broke the silence.

That was what you had been missing out on all these years?! You felt robbed.

“Hey... Just curious but was that your first orgasm like ever?” Jungkook asked innocently. Your reaction was just so earnest and innocent and although he knew your ex never made you cum, he wondered if even by your hand you had never climaxed before.

You met his eyes briefly before turning your head to the side, clearly embarrassed.

“...Yes.”

“Really? So when you touch yourself, you don’t–”

“I already said yes, didn’t I?” You snapped, bottom lip jutting out slightly. Jungkook didn’t care much for your tone, but given the circumstances, he let it slide.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve taken my time– eaten you out until you came or something.”

“I didn’t think it mattered.” You answered vaguely, wishing more than anything for the topic of conversation to shift.

To your surprise, Jungkook’s hand found your jaw, forcing your eyes to meet his.

“Can I kiss you?”

He didn’t know why he felt the sudden urge to but he just knew he wanted to.

His request came as a surprise to, considering the two of you had just done a fair bit more than just kissing. You nodded automatically, humming in content as his mouth found yours for a kiss that was far less rushed than previous ones.

The two of you exchanged the gesture of affection lazily, Jungkook’s fingertips brushing against your waist as your breathing slowed.

“I'm sure you don’t wanna hear this but knowing I’m the only person who has ever made you cum has inflated my ego like you wouldn’t believe.” Jungkook confessed as he broke the kiss, causing you to scoff.

“Right, because I’m the reason your ego is the larger than our fucking solar system.”

Jungkook’s expression fell flat, eyes turning cold as you began to giggle.

“Bite me, nerd.” He glared despite the way the sides of his mouth turned up at the sound of your laughter, moving to kiss you once more.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

“So...” Yara began, hands clasped together in front of her. “How was the party?”

Yara, Jungkook and you were sat at the library, where the three of you had planned to meet after the party to catch up on some work.

What was unexpected, however, as the way the two of you had taken a seat across from Yara with guilty expressions and far more hickeys than she had recalled counting on either of you.

The moment you averted your eyes as she faced you, she knew you were keeping something from her and she already was playing out a couple of scenarios that might have gone down at the party.

“Good.” Jungkook answered uneasily. Yara hummed, locking her eyes onto the squirming boy.

You had known Yara for a long time and had become somewhat immune to her intimidating ways, but Jungkook had only known Yara for a month or so. Hardly enough time to build up immunity.

She suppressed a smirk. Target acquired.

“That’s good.” Yara said, glare unmoving.

If Yara really were the supernatural creature you sometimes insisted she was, she would’ve heard the way Jungkook’s pulse quickened, fists under the table clenching and unclenching as he fought the urge to flee.

Jungkook felt his stomach churn as she quirked up an eyebrow at him, mouth pressed into a straight line.

“Y/N and I had sex—”

“Jungkook!” You turned to him in disbelief.

“Holy shit!”

Jungkook’s face scrunched up in regret, sinking back into his chair as your best friend’s jaw dropped.

“We agreed we weren’t gonna tell her.” You pouted.

“Shit, I know, I’m sorry but did you see the way she was looking at me?!” He cried, a finger coming up to point at the petite girl sitting across the table. “That stare isn’t human.”

“I can’t believe this! You guys did the nasty and weren’t gonna tell me?” Yara gaped.

You flinched, glancing around to see if you were disturbing any neighboring students. “I was gonna tell you… eventually.”

“It’s like she was in my head. Like she could see inside me– all my thoughts, my secrets, my innermost feelings...” Jungkook muttered, hands coming up to press against his temples.

Yara continued on, ignoring the traumatized boy. “I’m hurt, Y/N. Not as a manager, but as your best friend. That is totally not something we would ever keep from each other.”

“I was afraid that when I told you, you were gonna think this changed things!” You urged.

You really had planned on telling Yara, you just didn’t want to do it with Jungkook in the room. Yara already seemed to have this preconceived notion that you were trying to actually date Jungkook and the last thing you needed was that idea confusing him.

“Well, does it?” Yara pressed.

Jungkook’s eyes flickered over to you suddenly, equally as curious as Yara to hear your response.

“...No. No, of course not.” You shook your head.

“Kiri’s definitely pissed.” Jungkook cleared his throat, eager to change the subject. “Y/N put on quite the performance last night.”

The sides of Yara’s mouth curled up wolfishly.

“Oh, I bet she did.” She mused suggestively causing you to blush.

“Not like that, you nympho.”

“Did you guys talk to her?” Yara inquired, ignoring you.

You nodded.

“Is she the worst? Do we hate her?” Yara squinted, leaning in close as she directed your words only at you.

A nervous giggle left you, sparing Jungkook a cautious glance. She was his ex-girlfriend, after all...

“Uh, she’s… I mean, you know, I’m the girl who is dating her ex so...”

“I see.” Yara picked up on your hesitancy to speak ill of Kiri as she sent you a slow nod, immediately understanding what you were trying to say.

Kiri sucked.

Jungkook was sat in his chair, eyebrows slightly furrowed as he watched the girls’ interaction, as if something was being said that he couldn’t quite hear.

“Also... She’s, uh, currently dating Eunwoo.” You told Yara.

Your best friend blinked, silence falling over her.

“Yara?”

“Good for her.” She perked up almost forcibly. “Let her put up with his annoying ass.”

Yara could see the way your expression had turned dubious as if you didn’t believe her nonchalant act.

Yara turned up her nose defensively, “What?”

“No, nothing. I was just expecting more of a reaction is all.” You waved your hands dismissively.

“Pshh, I don’t care where Eunwoo is getting his dick wet.”

“Are you sure–”

“Let’s do some homework, yeah?” Yara cut you off with a tight smile that you didn’t fail to miss.

You watched as your best friend reached for her textbook and threw it open, hardly paying you any further mind. Looking over to Jungkook, you found him already turned your way, his face twisted in mild concern.

It wasn’t something you had ever brought up with Jungkook – or Yara for that matter – but you always had a sneaking suspicion that Yara cared more about Eunwoo than she let on. As much as she insisted that Eunwoo’s feelings had scared her off, a part of you wondered if Yara’s own feelings didn’t have a role in that fear as well.

Offering Jungkook a shrug, you too turned back to your work laid out on the table in front of you.

A few minutes passed through; you were rewriting your notes when you experimentally spared Yara a glance, only to see a deep furrow on her face. Something was clearly bothering her.

“Yara?”

The girl in question slammed her pencil down, opening her mouth immediately, “Not that I give a rat’s ass about Eunwoo – because I don’t – but I can’t believe he’s dating someone already.”

“How long were you guys together?” Jungkook wondered.

“Like three months.” Yara told him through a frown.

Jungkook hummed, “Well, when did you guys break up?”

“A week after school started.”

“Maybe he’s just trying to move on?” He offered, unsure of how to comfort her.

Taking in your best friend’s sour expression, you bit down on your lip.

“Yara, are you... jealous?” You assumed.

Immediately, Yara’s eyes found yours, green eyes growing wide.

“Jealous? Hah! My cold, dead heart doesn’t know jealous. What I know is that Eunwoo is a fucking idiot.” She scoffed. “This is the kid who called me every day for two weeks after we broke up professing his love for me. How is he just suddenly over me and dating someone else? That someone being Jungkook’s bitchy ass ex?”

Yara glanced over to Jungkook as if an afterthought, “No offense, jockstrap.”

“You did not just call me jockstrap.” Jungkook deadpanned.

“Hey now, Kiri’s not a bitch, I never said that.” You defended weakly. Yara flashed you a look. She had known you for too long not to be able to read in between your words.

“You really are such a class act, Y/N. Truly admirable. However, you should know that if she throws even one snarky comment my way, I’m knocking her teeth in.”

“Yara!”

“I’m serious. It’ll be lights out for Miss Kiri.” Yara insisted, intertwining her fingers and stretching them out in front of her. A laugh escaped you against your better judgment.

“In that case, remind me not to let you out of my sight if she comes to Y/N’s event.” Jungkook laughed nervously, unsure of just how serious the small but frightening girl was being.

Yara’s looked over to you with wide eyes.

“So, does that mean...?”

You perked up in your seat. You nearly had forgotten.

“Oh, yeah! It’s happening! I’m throwing my event!” You announced excitedly.

“Holy shit, finally! That’s amazing, Y/N, congrats!”

“Well, it’s not set in stone yet–”

“Nah, Tae’s true to his word. If he says he’ll help, then you can count on him.” Jungkook reassured.

“Who’s Tae?” Yara cocked her head.

“My frat brother and head of Beta Tau Sigma’s finance committee. Y/N pitched her idea to him last night and he agreed to arrange funding for the event.” Jungkook went on to explain. A smile found your face as you recalled the interaction.

"This Tae guy sounds bitchin’.” Yara approved with a nod.

“Yeah, he really is like a brother to me.” Jungkook smiled.

Suddenly, you wondered if Taehyung was who Jungkook went to for advice. Was Taehyung his Yara? You really never gave much thought on who Jungkook’s friends were but, strangely enough, the idea of meeting them intrigued you. Especially if they were all as lovely as Tae.

You watched in silence as Jungkook and Yara continued on with their conversation, a warm feeling falling over you at the sight of them getting along and enjoying each other’s company. Even if Jungkook was just your fake boyfriend, the thought that he and your best friend and could be friends made you happy. Maybe foolishly so but happy nonetheless. Selfishly, you began to wonder if there was any way the two of you could stay like this after he got back with Kiri.

“I dunno, jockstrap. I just think The Shining is boring.” Yara shrugged.

The subject had somehow shifted in the time you had been spacing out, falling victim to your thoughts. Horror movies now seemed to be the topic of interest.

Jungkook shook his head defiantly.

“Okay, firstly, psychological horror is meant to be slow-paced and secondly, call me jockstrap one more time and I’ll rip up your John Cusack posters and force-feed you the scraps.”

Yara let out a cold laugh, crossing her arms over her chest, “Bold of you to assume I don’t already want John Cusack down my throat.”

A laugh came tumbling out of you, taking in Jungkook’s horrified expression, not expecting such a vulgar response.

Yeah. Maybe having Jungkook around permanently wouldn’t be so bad.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

You had made it very clear to Jungkook that the two of you having sex was a one-time thing; your copulation had been a momentary lapse of judgment fueled by the way alcohol made you both irrationally horny.

So the second Jungkook’s fingers found the skin on your thigh, you couldn’t help but stiffen.

“Meathead.” Was your warning.

“What? Your skin is soft.” He muttered, not taking his eyes off his book. “I’m not doing anything wrong…”

Your teeth found the plush of your lip as you fought the urge to press your thighs together.

You and Jungkook were sat upon your bed days after the Halloween party. Inviting him over to study had been your idea, trying to make a point to Yara that the two of you could go back to normal after sleeping with one another.

For the most part, things had been normal. Sure, maybe you could argue that Jungkook stared at you a little more than you were used to but it wasn’t anything you couldn’t just pin on the fact that that boy often spaced out. Your face just happened to be where he liked to focus on it seemed.

So when while studying his palm found the top of your thigh, you paused your reading, glancing over at the boy cautiously only to discover him, seemingly, emerged in the book of his own.

It wasn’t until his fingers suddenly began trailing up and down your thigh, rubbing circles into the supple flesh that you realized the gesture wasn’t near as innocent as you initially assumed.

“Right?” Jungkook cooed, attention suddenly on you as he trailed his fingers further down your thigh than you should have allowed.

Your ears felt hot.

As much as you wanted to push his hand away and stop his ministrations here, another part of you was replaying the way the same handheld and touched you the night of the party in your head.

You met Jungkook’s eyes; he wasn’t even bothering to suppress his smirk that cocky bastard.

A small sigh found you as his fingers discovered your inner thigh, dangerously close to where your panties were dampening underneath your pajama shorts.

“You didn’t answer me.”

“N-No, nothing wrong.” You stuttered quietly, opposite leg rising up to bend at the knee to allow Jungkook’s hand a point of entry.

God, this was way more embarrassing when you were sober. You weren’t some lust-driven sex hungry animal, you could easily resist his advances if you wanted to. But you didn’t want to. You had gone two years without having sex and you’d be lying if you didn’t think back to that night you shared with Jungkook often.

Your thoughts were interrupted, breath hitching as you felt Jungkook’s slender fingers slipping underneath your shorts.

“You’re a strange girl, Y/N. You like to pretend like I’m just apart of the contract yet here you are. Letting me touch you like this.” Jungkook hummed, fingers trailing up and down between your thighs, lightly running against your clothed core.

You let out a whimper, handing coming around to wrap itself around Jungkook’s wrist, urging him to apply more pressure.

“Impatient, aren’t we?” He mocked. You opened your mouth to reply when he found your panty clad clit, effectively silencing you.

“W-Wait, Yara’s in her room.” You hiccuped, hips jerking forward as his thumb singled out your clit, rubbing against it.

“Oh, how rude of us. Should we go knock and ask if she wants to join?” Jungkook teased, eliciting a scoff from you.

“God, you’re so–”

Your mouth shut itself closed, biting back the moan that threatened to make its way out as Jungook sank his fingers into you.

“Fuck.” Jungkook muttered, preening in the way you felt. So wet. So tight. And all for him.

His eyes moved from the sight of his hand fucking itself into you to your profile. Your eyebrows were furrowed, face scrunching up whenever he curled his fingers up into you a certain way. He could see the way the muscles in your jaw clenched and unclenched, clearly holding back some of your more lewd sounds in fear that your roommate might hear.

He’d have to do this again whenever Yara wasn’t home. He’d love to hear the way you’d whimper his name.

“That feel good?”

Jungkook was beside himself, he knew he should be keeping it down but he couldn’t help it. He wanted to hear you– the way your voice would shake and stutter deliciously.

“So good.” You whined lowly, head turning to meet his eyes.

Jungkook was definitely too good at this. He had two fingers rocking into you skillfully, slowing down only to turn his attention back onto your throbbing clit. Your shorts and underwear felt damp, slick with your arousal and you knew you’d have to change the sheets underneath you.

“Can I, ah... can I touch you?” You asked through several uneven breaths. You felt the sudden need to touch him– to make him feel as good as he was making you feel. “Please.”

“So needy for my cock, huh? Even when I’m not about to fuck you, too.” He licked his lips, hand coming over his crotch to palm at it.

“Yeah. Yeah, go ahead, baby.”

Jungkook let himself relax back against the way, cock twitching in anticipation as you clumsily reached out to take his already hard cock from his pants.

And so that’s how the two of you found yourselves, hands down each other’s pants, voices hushed as you pleasured each other in secret like a pair of desperate teenagers.

Even as you both began to shake with stimulation, your hands didn’t stop, both of you set on getting each other off.

Jungkook felt so hot and heavy in your hand; you didn’t get the chance to fully take in his fucked out expressions last time but now that you were watching the way his jaw went slack and low, drawn-out groans fell from him, you couldn’t help but think he looked so attractive this way, hips rocking up to meet his fingers as you let yourself get off to the thought that you were making him feel this good.

Jungkook was in absolute bliss.

Your chest was rising and falling lightly, your bottom lip held hostage between your teeth innocently as your hand pumped his fat cock. He knew you were trying your hardest to stay quiet but the way your eyes were watery and small mews escaped you sporadically spurred him on, letting himself be noisier than you probably would have liked.

“You’re taking my fingers so well, baby. Making such a mess of your sheets. Fucking messy girl.” Jungkook cooed between shaky breaths of his own, obviously just as close to climax as you were.

Suddenly, a cry fell from your lips and the hand Jungkook had placed around yours to help in pumping his increasingly hot shaft quickly relocated itself to cover your mouth, catching the rest of your lewd noises as you finally came around his fingers.

“Atta girl. You did so well.” Jungkook praised, your eyes wet as you rode out the last few waves of your orgasm.

You were shaking; this orgasm had hit you hard and you didn’t know if you would ever get used to this feeling. You hoped not.

Jungkook pressed a kiss against your cheek affectionately and before you could give yourself a minute to even out your breathing, you pulled away from him, repositioning yourself between his knees.

You placed a tentative lick against the glistening tip of his cock, eyes locked on his as he continued to jerk himself off. He grunted, moving his prick closer towards your face as you let the flat of your tongue run up the length of him.

“Wanna taste you. Cum on my tongue, yeah?” You purred as you pulled your lips off his tip, a small pop sounding out.

Jungkook nearly choked, swallowing the sob of a response he nearly gave you. You were so fucking beyond hot like this. He hadn’t heard you speak so outwardly filthy before and all he could think about was how your words would sound if you were choking around his cock.

“Fuck, fuck, open your mouth.”

You obliged greedily as he tightened his grip around himself, his abdomen tightened and hand stilled, a hot white strip of cum landing on your tongue. Like the good girl Jungkook groaned out you were, you stayed open-mouthed in front of him obediently until he was finished.

Jungkook let out a shaky breath, tucking himself back into his pants as you moved back to take your place beside him, wiping at your mouth.

“Well. That was fun.” You grinned shyly, suddenly giddy.

“Mm.” Jungkook agreed, thumb coming up to wipe away your cheek, where some of his cum had found itself. Your mouth opened on its own accord, tongue sticking out for Jungkook to clean his thumb with. You didn’t particularly care for the taste but you enjoyed the way his eyes turned a shade darker as he watched you swallow his cum.

"I don’t think the contract mentioned orgasms.” Jungkook smirked as you released his thumb.

“I say we let it slide.” You shrugged, leaning into him casually.

“You think?”

“Totally. Think of it as... a bonding activity.” You joked, resting your chin on his shoulder, peering up through your lashes.

“Damn, we’re really committed to this fake dating thing, huh.”

You laughed in the way that you hated, but Jungkook loved; it was loud and abrupt, but it genuine, and it was you.

“What can I say, I’m a method actor.” You sighed dramatically, causing Jungkook to grin before pressing a kiss to your nose, simply because he liked the way it always seemed to make you smile.

6K notes · View notes

golbrocklovely · 4 years ago

Text

my favorite moments from kat's stream the other night

bc honestly, it was an adorable stream and it sucks some of yall didn't get to see it

~~~~~~~~~~~

some of these aren't really in order so... sorry about that lol

the hype train song and dance - adorable

sam kept calling the hype train thomas after thomas the tank engine

someone donating for kat to hug sam and then hug colby longer... ew.

someone donating and saying they love colby more than sam.... why?

kat: "why don't you wear sock?" colby: "bc it's mY GOD DAMN HOUSE."

colby saying he stunk, kat got up and sprayed him and sam with her perfume

colby: at least i smell like a girl :)

kat not getting the wikipedia game was funny

picolo drinking game part 1:

sam: drink five times if you like going down...

kat: skip that ish

sam: you said go crazy

colby: so... we're not supposed to drink to that?

them talking about their shoe size

colby: if you're wondering if shoe size means...(dick size), fucking not TRUE. not true at all.

snc both casually admitting to searching up gloryholes

KAT NOT KNOWING WHAT ONE IS AND THEN SEARCHING IT ON STREAM LMAO

the game ended real quick

kat: how many did you skip?

sam: a lot. there were some that were too inappropriate. yeah, it was like 'get naked and have everyone slap your ass'

colby: i WoUlD hAvE dOnE tHaT oNe

colby almost grabbing kat's perfume and drinking it

how drunk are you colbs

picolo drinking game part 2:

the sibling energy between colby and kat was so fucking cute

also it felt like they were annoying sam and it was hilarious

kat: let's play the game

colby: what are we waiting for

sam: for you two to calm down

kat and colby kept doing the same arm thing during hype trains

sam had grandma teeth for half this game so it was hard to understand him

fly or read minds: colby and kat: fly

kat: why do you keep doing this hand movement? (flails hand)

colby: bc i'm eXPRESSING MYSELF (sassily)

sam: first person to pull out a condom doesn't have to drink

colby (reaching into his wallet) : aw where'd it go? must of used it.

colby jokingly said 'ppl still use condoms? ugh' but then said practice safe sex

sam said "sometimes"

kat rolling her eyes at sam

sam: drink once if you're single, twice if you're dating, and more than twice if it's a bit more complicated than that

colby: the tiniest sip lol

sam would be most likely to cry at a romance movie

kat left to go to the bathroom and everyone in chat was calling snc dumb and dumber

they listened to in my veins

kat did the dance, colby backup danced terribly. it was cute.

kat: colby you want a girl to write a song about you?

colby: i've had multiple ;) (but really it was like one)

girl is from vegas, the song is either something like ‘all for you’ or ‘all over you’. it was hard to understand them bc of the music they were playing.

colby left, sam moved up and him and kat were adorable for a minute

them going over what kat would go by if her last name was golbach :,)

kat: (when colby walked in) what about sam brock? hey that actually sounds pretty good.

colby: anything sound good with brock as the last name

they talk about colby getting a perm

he says no bc he'll look bad

also he doesn't really like his hair curly, that's why he straightens it everyday

knj vs snc: who would win in a fight?

most were saying knj

kian was live, colby told ppl to tell him he'd beat his ass, kian said bet

colby grinded on sam to the 'somebody come get her/she's dancing like a stripper song' lmao

kat was surprised

picolo drinking game part 3:

sam and colby admit to watching a strip tease

kat's pissed

kat: drink if you had a gf/bf for less than a day

colby drank, then said: club penguin, you know what i'm saying. i'm a pimp in that shit.

colby drank for kissing in a nightclub

drink if you've ever been on the blacklist of a bar/casino/nightclub

colby drank. he's still blacklisted. it was bc of him and brennen trying to fight someone, apparently.

they were all so tired and drunk by the end

it was such a cute stream. hectic as hell, but fun none the less. i ignored the chat, mostly bc ppl were weird in it and kept asking for colby to marry them.

#personal #text #sam and colby #sam golbach #colby brock

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i-stan-nct-and-satan · 4 years ago

Text

Not Broken Part 12 (Jaehyun Mafia AU)

Not Broken Masterlist

Jaehyun X Reader

Trigger warning: mentions of abuse

I stayed in my room for several hours, just staring at the minimalistic digital clock Taeyong had set onto the vanity. It was 2:58, past the time Taeyong said lunch would be delivered to my room. In any other circumstance, I would have just gone to the kitchen and made something myself, but I really didn’t want to run into anybody from 127, especially not the pink-haired mobster himself. I hadn’t eaten at all that day, nor had I had anything to drink other than the tap from the bathroom. There were no cups to be found so I scooped the water into my mouth with my hands.

I wondered if they had forgotten about me or if there was a delay. Either way, the hunger was becoming too uncomfortable to ignore.

I glanced at the door, wondering who on earth could be on the other side. I was almost too afraid to find out. On one hand, it was very possible that they would turn out to be a staff member rather than an actual member of Nct given that Taeyong explained that they had a few staff members on hand that doubled as bodyguards. I couldn’t imagine that Nct 127 would waste any of their members’ time just to stand guard at my door, yet on the other hand, I couldn’t get rid of the sinking feeling that if I chose to find out I’d be confronted with someone like Doyoung whom I’m sure wouldn’t be so pleased with having to escort me around.

I decided to come up with an excuse to open the door, that way if it turned out to be someone I didn’t feel comfortable with, I could just ask them to clarify a rule for me or something. I supposed I could also tell them that I was hungry, but I didn’t think that Doyoung would want to be sent on an errand either.

After I made the decision to open the door, I suddenly became excited at the prospect of being able to leave the room I had just spent three hours in unable to do anything but stare at my bruises in the bathroom mirror, take nearly an hour-long shower, and look through the clothes in the closet. There definitely wasn’t anything I felt comfortable wearing in there and although I knew I shouldn’t feel any guilt asking for clothing more suited to my style, I didn’t have the guts the make the request.

I took a few deep breaths to calm my nerves before I knocked on the door.

Nothing.

Was there no one on the other side?

Knock knock.

I instantly became confused by the sudden knocking that came from the other side of the door. I knocked again only for them to knock again.

Wanting to know what was going on, I opened the door to see the blonde-haired boy I’ve come to know as Mark, fist still raised in the air.

“What are you doing?” I asked him, too puzzled by his actions to feel any relief that it was him and not Doyoung.

“Knocking,” He answered, matter of factly.

“Why?” I asked.

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking that? It makes a lot more sense for someone outside of the room to knock on the door than someone inside of the room.”

“What? I mean, you’re not wrong but I just...”

Mark began to laugh softly at my perplexed state. Despite feeling even more confused by his reaction, I did feel less nervous than before.

“I’m just messing with you,” He revealed with a warm smile.

“What do you need?”

“Oh, um... I was just wondering if I could have something to eat.”

“Sure, no problem, let me just call the cook and have him bring something up,” He agreed, taking out his phone.

“W-wait.”

Mark paused.

“I was hoping I’d be able to leave my room at some point since there isn’t much to do.”

Mark stared at me as he processed my words and I worried that he would deny my request.

“Oh, I get it. Okay, sure,” He agreed.

“Yeah, I forgot that they didn’t really give you anything to do.”

“Yeah...” I confirmed, not wanting to sound like I was complaining.

“Well, did you want to go now?”

“Yes, if that is okay.”

Instead of responding, Mark just started laughing. I couldn’t understand why because I hadn’t said anything particularly funny, so I just started awkwardly laughing with him.

“Yeah, no problem. Let’s go.”

We walked down a long hallway, and down a long flight of stairs that looked like something the Queen of England would step down to treat her guests.

When we finally got to the kitchen, there were already several people inside, none of which I had ever seen before.

“Come on, Chenle. You need to eat.”

A man with blonde hair and a faded blue fringe whose out-of-the-blue hairstyle made it look like he had literally ran out of blue hair dye and made Doyoung’s blue highlights look normal in comparison, was sitting at small kitchen table with two boys who looked to be in their mid-teens. In another part of the kitchen was an athletic looking man who seemed too busy cooking to notice that we had come in. He had light sandy brown hair that looked like it had been shadow permed and was wearing a short-sleeved shirt under a salmon colored apron. He was peeling potatoes and I couldn’t help but stare at his developed arm muscles that were more defined than any of the 127 members I had seen thus far, with the exception of Jaehyun, himself. The apron did nothing to take away from his masculine features and anyone who thought it did would have to be extremely antagonistic towards the color salmon.

The older male at the table looked up at us. Apparently, my fascination with the other gentleman must have been obvious since my attention was immediately brought back to him as he cleared his throat.

“You must be Y/N,” He commented, getting up from the table.

“Hello,” I greeted.

“Ah, uh, yes. Hello. My name is Jaemin. I’m the nanny,” He wavered in his response.

The man offered his hand and I shook it.

“And these are Chenle and Jisung,” He gestured to the two boys still sitting at the table.

I glanced at them, not fully understanding who they were. One of them, I didn’t know which was which, had blonde hair that had a bit more yellow in it than most people would have preferred. It was strange but he almost looked scared of me. His features made it seem as though he were experiencing great discomfort. He avoided my gaze choosing instead to stare at the full plate of food that sat in front of him.

The other boy, whose plate was almost empty, had dark brown hair and an extremely small face. His expression reminded me of those mean girls in the movies when they were weirded out by someone less popular than them. He didn’t look mean though, just confused as to why I was there. The two of them didn’t resemble each other in the slightest so I assumed that they were unrelated.

“What happened to your face?” The second boy blurted out.

“Jisung!” Jaemin snapped before turning back to me.

“I’m so sorry about that,” He apologized.

“It’s alright, but who are they?” I whispered the last part.

“Oh, those are Jaehyun’s younger brothers,” Mark answered for him.

“Brothers?”

Guess I was wrong about them not being related.

“Yes, and don’t worry. They’ve been caught up on everything, including your lack of involvement in the... issue at hand.”

I hadn’t even thought of the possibility that they had even known about my existence let alone about the suspicion that I was involved in their sister’s death.

They really know everything that’s going on? At such a young age? No, it made sense. In this type of family, I’m sure that they are fully aware of their brother’s business and probably have been for quite some time. Maybe they’re even being trained to eventually become members.

“Have you put anything on... to... umm... treat that?” Jaemin asked as I continued to stare off into space.

“Oh, umm, no.”

“Hang on a second. I might have some vitamin K cream somewhere. Would you all keep an eye on the boys for a quick second?”

“Ah, I, umm,” I hesitated.

“I’ll handle it, Jaemin.”

I turned around to see the aproned man who had been busy cooking up to this point smile over at us.

“Awesome! Be right back,” Jaemin confirmed before hurrying out of the kitchen.

The man who had volunteered to watch the boys rinsed his hands and dried them on a spare cloth before making his way over.

“Hi, what can I do for you?” He asked in a pleasant tone.

“Hey Jeno, this is Y/N. We came to get her something to eat,” Mark took the lead in answering for you.

“Ah, yes. Miss Y/N. I was informed of your new status as a guest here just recently. I apologize for the delay. You can sit down at the table with Jisung and Chenle while I finish preparing your lunch.”

“Oh, so you’re the chef?” I asked, wanting to know more about the strangely attractive man, totally oblivious to my appearance.

“Hm? Oh, kind of. I’m actually-”

“The butler,” Mark interrupted.

I turned to Mark and gave him an expression I can only describe as “Dude, what the fuck?”

“Well yes, butler, director of the household. It’s all the same. Stand-in-chef while the other staff is away. I pretty much do whatever is required of me in order to keep the house from burning down.”

“Oh wow. That’s impressive, especially with a house as big as this,” I beamed.

I was surprised since someone of his stature seemed as though they would fit in perfectly as a gang member, but his kind eyes gave away his lack of involvement with the group’s more criminal activities.

“Not really, I have lots of great staff to help me. Anyways, have a seat and I’ll bring a plate over once everything’s prepared.”

Mark and I sat down at the table and it was... awkward.

Jisung and Chenle just stared at me as if I had three eyes... or maybe just two black ones.

“Did someone from 127 really do that to you?” Chenle asked looking noticeably sick.

Someone?

What I wanted to say was that their brother did this to me, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell two teenaged boys how much of a monster their brother really was. Even if he deserved it, they didn’t.

“Uh, umm...”

“I’m back!”

Jaemin’s timing couldn’t have been any more perfect.

“Did you miss me?” Jaemin cooed at the two boys, making an effort to pinch Jisung’s cheeks.

“Nana, stop!” He whined.

Jaemin frowned.

“This is why they said there’s no use in raising kids.”

His attention turned to me.

“Let’s get you taken care of, shall we?”

Jaemin asked me to sit on the counter in the kitchen so that we could “talk” without having to worry about the kids and asked Mark to watch them in the dining room. Apparently Jeno and Jaemin were also included in the list of staff who could watch over me.

“So how are things going for you?” He asked.

Jaemin’s face seemed to hold genuine concern so I had no reason to give him a snarky answer, but I wasn’t certain whether I could be honest with the two of them or not. They might not have been members of NCT, but they still worked for them.

“Everything is just so hard,” I broke down.

“Oh, honey,” Jaemin cooed sympathetically.

Jaemin took me into his arms as I started to quietly weep.

Jeno who had been busy cutting vegetables pushed them aside and joined us, patting my back as Jaemin continued to hug me.

After a few moments passed, I somehow managed to cease my crying.

Once Jaemin pulled away, Jeno gave me a cloth to wipe my tears. I winced when the fabric came in contact with my bruised eyes causing Jaemin and Jeno to give each other a concerned look.

“Let’s put some of this on,” Jaemin suggested.

“I just feel so angry at how little control I have here. I feel so weak and for some reason, I feel like I have no reason to complain either, like I somehow deserve this,” I ranted as Jaemin applied the vitamin k cream with a q-tip.

“You know you don’t though, right? I mean yeah, this whole this is fucked but you just have to get through it. Do whatever you need to do to survive, even if it means taking advantage of their accommodations.”

“What do you mean?”

“They told you that you could make requests, didn’t they? If I were you, I would take them for all they’re worth. I’d ask for expensive jewelry, clothes. You know, the works,” Jaemin continued.

“I just feel like if I ask for anything then I’ll be proving that pink-haired jackass right.”

“Hm?” Jaemin quirked.

I sighed.

“Jaehyun made me an offer and when I didn’t accept it, he told me that he didn’t expect a dancer like me to refuse that much money. Then he told me we could renegotiate later. He thought I was some floozy trying to get her next payday. I don’t even want the money. I refused because what he did can’t be fixed with money.”

“Wow,” The two men uttered in unison.

“What?”

“Y/ N, you’re kind of a badass,” Jeno complimented.

“What? No, that’s the thing. I couldn’t even stand up for myself and tell him that. This whole time, I’ve felt so powerless and weak and I just wish that I could fight back just one time and have an impact.”

We all went silent as Jaemin finished applying the cream to my bruises.

“How do you like the clothes the maids picked out? This dress is nice, right?”

“Honestly? I hate them. Everything is too fancy. I don’t feel like it’s exactly normal to wear Swarovski crystals when living in your kidnapper’s estate, not that there’s exactly a dress code for that.”

“Okay, no Swarovski crystals. What else?”

“Huh? Oh no, I didn’t mean. I’m fine, really.”

“Y/N.”

Jaemin grabbed my face as gently as he could to avoid causing any further harm to my already bruised face.

“It’s the least I can do given your situation, especially when I can’t do much else for you.”

His face was suddenly filled with noticeable anguish. He was trying so hard to relieve my sorrow, it made me want to relieve some of his.

“Okay then, I guess I do have a request or two.”

“Thatta girl!” He beamed, not a trace of sadness left in his features.

“What can I do for you?”

“Would it be possible to get my own clothes from my apartment?”

“I’m sure I could find some clothes to better suit your tastes.”

“No, they have to be mine. Is that okay?”

Jaemin spent a few seconds to ponder the request.

“I don’t see why we couldn’t ask, right Jeno?”

Jeno nodded.

“What else?”

“Could I start eating meals with you guys? I don’t want to spend all day trapped in that room and I could really use the companionship.”

Jeno and Jaemin smiled at each other and then back at me.

“Of course. Mealtimes are about the only time I ever get a break in this house. That’s when Jisung and Chenle get handed over to Momo, the other nanny. The only reason we were all in here earlier is because Chenle hasn’t been eating lately. The poor child. He’s only been like this once before when his sister died. I’m sure having everything come back up has been hard on both him and Jisung.”

I didn’t know whether I should have pried or if it was better to just change the subject, but Jaemin and Jeno seemed to be trustworthy so I decided to pry.

“Are they really his brothers?”

“Adopted brothers. The previous head of the household adopted all of his children,” Jaemin explained.

“Including-” I started.

“Yes, including him.”

“He couldn’t have children otherwise, so adoption was his only option,” Jeno added.

“Jaehyun and IU were blood related though. Sooman, the former head of NCT, had been searching for quite some time to find a son to eventually take his place as leader. He and his wife went to countless orphanages but apparently he was looking for something in particular which is why they never brought anyone home with them. He would ask each of the young boys a question, but none of their answers satisfied him.”

“What was the question?” I asked, enamored by the almost folksy tale.

“No one knows for sure, but I did hear from one of the older staff, who used to work as Sooman’s personal servant, that he’d ask them why they thought he should adopt them. Simple right?”

I nodded.

“Well supposedly, when he and his wife visited the orphanage the current young master was living at, one of the workers told Sooman that the boy hadn’t spoken a word to anybody other than his sister since they arrived. Instead of skipping the young boy, Sooman asked to speak with him anyway. He probably wasn’t expecting much of a response, yet he went through the motions anyway, telling him that he was a wealthy man who was capable of changing his life and things like that. When he asked the boy why he should adopt him. The young master actually responded.”

“What did he say? How did he convince him to adopt him?”

“That’s the thing. He didn’t. He told him that he shouldn’t adopt him, but that he should adopt his sister instead. Then, after having not spoken for such a long time, he went on to explain how much of a good person his sister was and how she would make a wonderful daughter. Sooman decided to adopt them both, that very day.”

I was speechless. That kind and caring young boy who was willing to give up on everything he could have wanted to help his sister seemed worlds apart from the horrible violent man I had the displeasure of meeting. The only similarities between them was how far they were willing to go for their sister.

“I guess Sooman wanted a son who valued loyalty,” Jaemin finished.

“What about the other two?”

“Oh, Jisung and Chenle? Their biological fathers both worked for Sooman, but died when they were a lot younger, so he adopted them as a service to them.”

“Umm, Jaemin?”

We all turned to look at the sudden voice.

Mark was covered in bits and pieces of food and a string of laughter escaped my lungs.

“Oh my god. Boys!” Jaemin ran out of the kitchen and into the dining room.

“Well, that was eventful. Anyways, food’s ready,” Jeno chuckled.

Jaemin had to go take care of the boys but he promised that he would be there tomorrow for breakfast.

Mark, Jeno and I sat down at the kitchen table. At first it felt a little awkward having Mark there since he was a member of 127, but I was relieved to see that he didn’t think so.

He told us how excited he was for another one of 127’s members to return after having been undercover for the last few months. He didn’t give me any specific details about the mission itself, but he did say the member’s name a lot. Apparently since he was so deep undercover, he was rarely able to interact with any of the members without the risk of blowing his cover.

Yuta came in at one point after hearing our laugher from a nearby room.

“Y/N, you look as beautiful as ever.”

“I have two black eyes.”

“And I can honestly say that not every girl can pull it off as well as you do.”

We continued talking hours after I had already finished eating. It was weird but nice. I pondered Jaemin’s words about how I should do whatever it takes to survive. I guess it felt like isolating myself wasn’t really my best option and that maybe opening up a little bit would make this whole thing more tolerable.

I went to bed that night, annoyed by the small red camera lights that flashed every so often. The next morning, I decided to just wear the green dress again since it was the only thing I really felt comfortable in, but instead of leggings, I put jeans on underneath. It looked kind of strange, but I didn’t care.

Jaemin told me that he was going to ask Jaehyun about my clothes at some point today. Jeno, Jaemin, and I met for breakfast. Mark tagged along since he happened to be guarding my door again. He quickly discovered that we made a promise to start eating meals together, so he also came to lunch despite not being on guard duty.

“Everyone else just eats in their rooms. We never have mealtimes together. I wish we would though,” He explained.

Not just him, but Yuta started to eat with us too. When it was time for us to meet for lunch, Yuta happened to be the one guarding my door, so he when he escorted me down to the kitchen only to see that Jaemin, Jeno and Mark were waiting for me, he demanded he stay to keep an eye on me despite there being three other men there to watch me.

It was strange at first, but it was nice to freely speak with each other without worry. Yuta continued to hit on me only to get scolded by Jaemin. Mark would laugh and Yuta would punch him in the arm, all while Jeno quietly smiled as though it were the most normal thing in the world for two mafia members, two staff members hired by said mafia members, and a former hostage kidnapped, also by said mafia members, to sit around a kitchen table laughing and having a ball.

I noticed how whenever he smiled, his eyes would form crescent moon slits, that made it hard to believe that he could see anything beyond them.

Nothing about the situation was normal, but I found myself feeling almost grateful for the scene unraveling in front of me. If this was going to be my new normal for the time being, maybe it wouldn’t be that bad.

<><><><><><><>

“The Itaewon lead was a bust. They found no trace of Wayv at any of their usual hangouts. Should I instruct S. Coups to have his men start canvasing the surrounding areas?” Taeyong updated his boss as they wandered the estate.

“No need. Have them return to Neozone to await further instructions. Wayv’s aware we’re looking for them, so they know to cover their tracks.”

Jaehyun was visibly frustrated at the lack of breakthroughs in the search for Wayv. His face was noticeably thinner than it was just a few days ago.

“We’ll just have to wait until they come for the girl.”

“Jae?” Taeyong quirked.

“Yes? What is it?”

“What’s that noise?”

The two men halted their conversation to focus on the sounds of laughter coming from the kitchen.

“Should we go see what they’re doing? Taking your mind off everything for a bit might make you feel better,” Taeyong suggested.

“It’s probably just Jaemin and Jeno flirting with each other. I can’t for the life of me understand how they still insist on keeping their relationship a secret from me. I’ve never once said anything to give them the impression that I’d hold any disdain for their choices as long as they continued to fulfill their duties and besides, only an idiot would think those two were straight.”

Jaehyun noticed the disappointed look on his friend/colleague’s usually impassive face.

Jaehyun relaxed slightly, becoming conscious of how much stress the two have them had been under, discussing further plans of action while holed up in his office since the break of dawn.

“Perhaps I should go in to check with in Jeno, see if there are any issues with... well, anything there might be issues with,” He suggested, abandoning his strict facade.

Taeyong’s face lit up. His excitement was most evident in his already anime-like eyes which now looked to have doubled in size.

<><><><><>

My eyes continued to linger on the sandy brown-haired man who sat almost directly across from me. I knew that it was crazy to crush on someone who worked for the leader of NCT even if he wasn’t a member of the gang itself, but it had been a crazy past few days and who could blame me for being drawn to such a gentle yet strong and protective looking hottie?

“Y/N?” He asked.

Watching the pair of lips, I had been hungerly gawking at, suddenly mouth the syllables of my name immediately allowed me to snap out of whatever entranced state I had been in for the last several moments and enter into one filled with embarrassment. My eyes quickly retreated down to look at my half empty plate, hoping he hadn’t noticed my staring.

“Yes?”

“You have a piece of rice stuck to your face,” Jeno said matter-of-factly.

My cheeks started to burn from the awkwardness. I moved my hand to brush the food from my face only for Yuta to beat me to it.

I jolted away, withdrawing from the man’s touch. Ready to berate him for the abrupt intrusion, I turned in time to see Yuta bring the speck of rice to his lips with a mischievous grin. I scoffed, unamused by his playful antics, as he merely continued to smirk. I glared at him briefly while taking notice of his purple locks.

His hair was always a dark purple similar to that of a plum, but under the bright kitchen lights it took on an especially violaceous hue. The intensity of the color and how it was almost hypnotic in a way led me to wonder if the devil might more accurately be depicted wearing violet than he would in his usual scarlet tones.

Yuta’s sly smile grew into a Chesire grin as he saw my anger morph into mesmerism. My gaze retreated from his and my cheeks were noticeably redder than before.

“Dude, that was gross,” Mark commented, bringing my attention back to the three other men at the table.

Yuta started laughing and I glanced at Jaemin and Jeno who glanced at each other and then back at me like two schoolgirls ready to hear all the hot gossip after seeing the school’s bad boy flirting with their friend.

Great, now they think something’s going on with Mr. Hits-on-anything-with-a-pulse over here.

I did everything to stop from groaning, but it must not have been enough to hide my annoyance as for the first time, everyone at the table was laughing except for Mark who had a perplexed look on his face.

“Oh, how nice!”

We all turned in our chairs to find the source of the sudden voice.

By now, I was easily able to recognize that the voice as belonged to Taeyong so when tufts of scarlet hair entered my vision, I thought nothing of it, but then a second man with oddly colored hair followed soon after. My lungs were empty of air, yet I couldn’t find the courage to breathe.

He was dressed in the most casual outfit I had seen him in. A black shirt tucked into black jeans held up by a black belt with a silver colored buckle. A clashing gold colored watch with red and green detailing drew attention to his right wrist and consequentially, the veins that traveled up his forearms. His hair lacked any product as far as I could tell, and his bangs swept past his browbone and into his eyes. I noticed that the man’s rose gold locks were slightly translucent, probably from the bleaching process, and must not have done much to impair his ability to see past them.

Unable to turn away, I silently prayed that he would overlook my presence, but that hope revealed itself to be a pipedream as our eyes immediately made contact with each other.

“What’s going on here?” Jaehyun demanded.

“They’re all eating together! How fun!” Taeyong observed, seemingly unaware of his boss’s hostile tone.

Taeyong wandered over to the table and took a seat in the last empty seat, leaving his boss to remain standing by the door.

“You know, I always thought that we should start eating meals together, but it didn’t seem like the other members were up for it.”

Jaehyun stomped towards us, irritation written across his face. My instincts were telling me to flee, to run out of there and never look back, but instead my body braced itself, knowing that it didn’t have to courage to move even the slightest bit.

“Jeno? Don’t you two have work to do?” He questioned the sandy-haired man.

Jeno and Jaemin looked at each other then back at their boss.

“Everything is running ahead of schedule, sir. I already have the ingredients prepared for tonight’s dinner.”

Jaehyun paused, processing the response before turning to Jaemin.

“And what about you? Where are Chenle and Jisung?”

“Umm... sir? This is my scheduled lunch break. The boys are with Momo,” He responded with perturbed intonation.

Jaehyun brought his right hand to his face and pinched the upper bridge of his nose in frustration, sending a quick glance at Yuta and Mark.

“Don’t look at us, you only told us to be on standby in case we needed to have a meeting,” Yuta reminded in a disinterested tone.

Before Jaehyun could chastise Yuta for such a cheeky response, Taeyong began to speak.

“Awesome. Since nobody is going to be busy for the time being, should we pull up another chair?” He asked staring up at Jaehyun’s intimidating figure.

I started begging the universe to save me from having to sit at the same table as the man who was possibly the only person I was more afraid of than Lucas.

“Actually, there was something I was hoping I could talk with you about, boss,” Jaemin announced, getting up from his chair.

“Shall we?” He asked.

Jaehyun looked down at the five of us who remained seated at the table before returning his gaze to Jaemin. Without saying anything, he merely made his way out the kitchen door, Jaemin waving goodbye as he followed.

I took a deep breath and let it out, not intending for it to be as loud as it was. Everyone at the table looked at me with concern.

“Y/N?” Taeyong quirked.

“I’d like to go back to my room please,” I mumbled, not wanting to hear whatever Taeyong had to say.

Yuta volunteered to escort me back to my room. Not a word was exchanged between us on the way.

Once I was alone, I settled into my bed and began to softly sob into one of the pillows.

I was so scared of him that I couldn’t even move. I’m so sick and tired of being so weak and defenseless.

I continued to cry until the tears began to sting my bruised eyes.

I can’t be afraid of him anymore. I need to get stronger. No matter what it takes, I need to survive.

<><><>

“Take a seat,” Jaehyun offered, already seated back at his desk.

“Oh, this won’t take long,” Jaemin replied, choosing to remain standing.

Jaehyun quirked an eyebrow at the staff member before leaning back in his chair.

“Very well. What is it you needed to discuss with me?”

Jaemin got straight to the point, not wasting any time to ease his boss into the issue at hand.

“Y/N doesn’t feel comfortable wearing any of the clothes that were picked out for her.”

The curiosity that had occupied Jaehyun’s features dissipated, replaced with the slightest hint of aggravation.

“And so, the requests start to flood in,” Jaehyun muttered under his breath.

“I’m sorry, sir. What was that?” Jaemin asked, unsure if he was meant to hear his boss’s words.

“So, let me guess, the clothes aren’t good enough for her despite the fact that each article is probably worth more than what she’d make in a year?” Jaehyun sneered, not making any attempt to hide the disgust in his voice.

Jaemin furrowed his brows at the unexpected response.

“No, sir. That’s the opposite of what I’m saying.”

Now it was Jaehyun’s turn to furrow his brows.

“Hm?”

“Y/N doesn’t feel comfortable wearing clothes of such a high quality, especially when they were paid for by her...” Jaemin paused, hoping that his boss would understand and that he wouldn’t have to finish the less than favorable account of why exactly Y/N didn’t want to wear the clothes Jaehyun had instructed to be prepared for her.

Jaehyun glared at Jaemin, daring him to finish his sentence, not showing any hint of mercy towards the staff member.

“-captor,” The man finished, doing his best to maintain a professional demeanor while still presenting a strong front.

Jaehyun’s anger unexpectedly dispersed. He sat up in his chair, tapping the desk as he deliberated Jaemin’s words.

“I’ll send a maid out on another run for her,” He decided.

“Is that all?”

“Well, boss, that isn’t-” Jaemin began.

“Actually, why don’t you do it since you probably know more about her... tastes. I’ll have Jeno instruct Momo of your absence and let her know that she’ll have the boys for the time being.”

Jaehyun’s voice was laced with an emotion Jaemin couldn’t quite make out. Was it bitterness or perhaps just irritation?

“She doesn’t want new clothes, sir.”

Jaehyun’s dusted pink bangs, fell to the side of his forehead as his head tilted the slightest bit.

“Then why are you here taking up my time, Jaemin?”

“She wants the clothes to be removed from her closet and for someone to retrieve her own clothes from her apartment complex.”

“What?”

“Can that be done?” Jaemin pressed on.

“Hold on a minute. Why does she want her own clothes? We could have any article of clothing she wants prepared for her by the end of the day. Hell, we could create an exact replica of her closet if she wanted. Just have her tell us-”

“Excuse me for speaking so boldly and without tact, sir, but it seems as though Y/N doesn’t want any handouts you have to offer her,” Jaemin interjected.

A strange tension filled the air as Jaemin explained his understanding of the situation. Jaehyun seemed as though he were debating amongst himself as he processed this new and unanticipated information. His eyes stared past Jaemin instead of at him and all the younger man could do was wait for his boss’s reply.

Jaehyun took his office phone off its receiver and lifted it to his ear before pressing the 1 on the keypad. A moment passed before Jaehyun spoke up.

“B.I.? Yes, have S.Coups and his men stop by Y/N’s apartment in Hongdae before they return to NEOzone. I want all her things brought back with them. Someone will come by this evening to pick them up.”

After giving his instructions, Jaehyun hung up the phone and looked up at Jaemin.

“Why don’t you take the rest of the afternoon off and head to NEOzone headquarters later tonight to grab her things?” He proposed, his face and voice having returned to their usual unreadable states.

“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.”

<><><>

After Jaemin exited through his office door, Jaehyun was left to contemplate Jaemin’s words.

Had he really misjudged Y/N this much? All this time, he assumed that if she wasn’t working with Wayv, that she’d probably cause problems for them by threatening to expose them unless she got whatever amount of money she needed to keep her mouth shut. Yet here she was, not only choosing to forgo making any requests for newer and better things but actively refusing them as well.

It was enough to baffle Jaehyun to the point of complete frustration.

What was it that she wanted? Was it possible she didn’t want anything except to go home? To be safe from Wayv’s grasp?

Jaehyun felt a strong urge to leave his office, the walls of which seemed to be closing in on him. He wondered if perhaps a walk would clear his head and allow him to organize his thoughts, but as he wandered through the halls, the weight of his actions finally hit him.

What have I done?

Images of Y/N’s first night at the estate crept into the front of his mind, but before he could really weigh the impact of his actions, he remembered seeing his sister, naked and shoved into a box that was left on their doorstep.

He shook the image from his mind and buried it along with any feelings of guilt that threatened to arise.

He couldn’t let his emotions get the best of him. After all, there was still a chance that Y/N was working with Wayv.

“Hey, boss.”

Too distracted by his thoughts, Jaehyun had unknowingly walked past the security room where Taeil had set up. Having been woken up from his thoughts, Jaehyun entered the room through the open doorway. Monitors showing live footage of Y/N’s room seemed to make up most of the room’s light with the exception of Taeil’s empty laptop screen. Taeil was holding a mug filled with either coffee or tea, Jaehyun didn’t bother to ask which.

“What’s she doing?” He inquired, taken aback by the images displayed on the monitors.

“Working out, I assume,” Taeil answered not sounding so sure himself.

“Why is she so... bad at it?”

They both watched in silence, suffering from secondhand embarrassment as footage of my first attempt at doing a push up since middle school gym played across multiple screens.

“Why is she- What is she-” Jaehyun couldn’t even figure out what to ask, giving up halfway through each unfinished inquiry.

“I don’t know but this has been going on for the last half hour. I was getting some work done since I didn’t really wanna watch her cry, but when she started doing jumping jacks all of a sudden, I couldn’t really look away,” Taeil reported, looking visibly uncomfortable.

Jaehyun tore his eyes from the screen and returned his gaze to Taeil.

“Crying?”

Taeil returned to his laptop, quickly reopening a dark colored window with past recordings of Y/N’s room. After muting the current footage, Taeil brought up footage timestamped 1:34, roughly ten minutes after Jaehyun left the kitchen with Jaemin.

Several cameras were installed to ensure there were no blind spots in the room, but the camera that produced this specific footage only provided coverage of the bed and some of the floor surrounding it. For the first few seconds, the room seemed to be empty of any life, until the sound of a door opening was projected from a nearby speaker and Y/N entered the screen’s image. She climbed onto the mattress, wrinkling the neatly made bedspread and sat there silently staring off God knows where. Jaehyun and Taeil watched as Y/N grabbed a pillow and held it tightly against her. She began to cry, occasionally reaching up to wipe away the tears that streamed down her bruised cheeks.

Taeil paused the video roughly sixty seconds after the sobbing had started and turned to his boss.

“This went on for like ten minutes, but then look at this,” He said, relaying the contents of the video.

Taeil pressed the fast forward key, stopping the video after a few seconds and then pressed the spacebar to resume.

The screen continued to show footage of Y/N crying, before she abruptly stopped altogether. She rubbed her blackened eyes visibly wincing from the contact. After several moments of just staring at nothing, she then preceded to get up from the bed and disappeared out of view. Taeil took a few seconds switching to another camera, this one showing a complete view of Y/N as she began to start doing jumping jack, like Taeil described earlier.

Taeil paused the video.

“The next twenty minutes are just of her doing various exercises. She’s alright with cardio, but anytime she attempts any strength training, it ends up looking like, well... that,” He gestured towards the monitors that showed that the current Y/N was still struggling to lift herself back into the air after falling back down.

“She is persistent, I’ll give her that,” Jaehyun observed.

“Makes you wonder how we ever thought she was a part of Wayv,” Taeil laughed.

Jaehyun’s gaze shot back to Taeil.

He was right.

If Y/N was working with Wayv, she would have at least been trained in basic hand to hand combat, right? Yet here he was, watching her get visibly more and more frustrated with herself as she failed to do what even people who aren’t particularly athletic should be able to do.

The possibility that she was faking it crossed his mind only for it to disappear without a trace when he watched Y/N fall onto her already bruised face, yelping in pain.

“I think she’s trying to get stronger,” Taeil speculated.

Stronger?

Jaehyun started to contemplate whatever possible motives Y/N could have for wanting to become stronger, when he felt a heaviness in his chest. A heaviness he hoped to ignore for just a little longer but couldn’t.

“Hmm,” He hummed.

<><><>

I woke up to the sound of knocking. A groan escaped my mouth as I turned to look at the clock. My eyes had still not adjusted to being open this early in the morning, so I struggled to make out the numbers that shined in blue light.

5:00.

Five a.m.? Really?

It was still dark in my room as the sun had yet to rise. I rolled over in my bed and pulled the covers over my head, hoping the person knocking would get the hint and fuck off.

They didn’t.

Eventually, the door opened, and I could hear footsteps approaching. Instead of feeling aggravated since my slumber was being cut short, I felt an unignorable sense of fear.

Wayv.

I moved the covers just enough to look at the vanity table. There wasn’t much on it, but I could see the outline of a lamp.

If I move fast enough, I could grab it and use it as a weap-

“Goodmorning Y/N!”

I screamed as the duvet was ripped from my body.

I stared up at the shadowy figure that stood at the foot of the bed.

“Oh, come on, I don’t look that bad in the mornings, do I?”

The lights turned on and suddenly I could see.

Jaemin continued to stare down at me in amusement as I alternated between looking at him, and Jeno who was standing by the light switch near the door.

“Guess who brought gifts!” Jaemin prompted, pulling a bag of clothes off the ground and spilling them onto the bed.

“What?”

“I brought you your clothes!” Jaemin replied as though it were the most normal thing in the world to wake someone up at five a.m. just to give them their clothes.

I looked down at the clothes on the bed and noticed a bag filled with clothes I didn’t recognize.

I opened it and took out a bright orange hoodie, the tag still attached.

“I told you I didn’t want any new clothes. Jaehyun will think-”

“Jaehyun doesn’t have to know. He gave me the afternoon off to pick up your stuff, but I noticed that you really didn’t have many clothes to begin with, so I thought I’d supplement your closet a bit. Don’t worry. These are gifts from me and Jeno, paid for with our money, not Jaehyun’s.”

“But-”

“No buts. It’s the least we could do and besides, it’s just a few hoodies. No big deal. Jeno and I wear this brand of hoodie all the time. They’re cheap, but comfier than anything you’ll find in any of the members’ closets.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Jaemin said with a smile.

“But that wasn’t why I was saying but,” I began.

“Hm?” Jaemin hummed curiously.

“I really appreciate you bringing my clothes here, and the hoodies are lovely, but why did you have to wake me up at five a.m. to give them to me?”

Jaemin chuckled and looked to Jeno.

“I’ll let him explain that and while you two are gone, I’ll get started on getting rid of the clothes in the closet and hanging these up instead.”

“While we’re gone?”

I looked to Jeno for some help understanding what the other man was trying to say. Instead, Jeno walked over to us and smiled.

“Are you ready for your first day of training?

<><><><><>

After leaving me to get dressed in my workout clothes, a simple t shirt and yoga pants, plus a royal blue hoodie that I found in the bag along with the others, Jeno guided me out into the hall way, taking the time to answer my questions along the way.

“What do you mean you’re gonna train me?”

“I’m in charge of training all the insider staff so that they can double as bodyguards if need be. Don’t worry, I know what I’m doing.”

“I didn’t mean why you were going to train me, I meant why are you going to train me?”

Jeno hesitated before answering.

“Don’t you want to get stronger so you can feel safer?” He asked.

“I mean yeah, but will it be okay?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I still have a cracked rib for starters and what if Jaehyun finds out?”

“I’ve trained people with worse injuries,” Jeno reassured.

“And you don’t need to worry about Jaehyun. He was the one who suggested it in the first place.”

“What? Why?”

I stopped in my tracks. Jeno stopped shortly after turning around to meet my gaze.

“Y/N, I know you’re probably more than a bit confused right now, but maybe don’t look a gift horse in the mouth? I mean, nothing good can come out of questioning Jaehyun’s motives. For now, just be happy that you’ll have something to focus on for the next few days.

Jeno resumed his steps and so did I. For some reason, Jeno’s words didn’t lend me any comfort.

<><><><>

“Harder! Hit it harder!” Jeno yelled from behind the punching bag.

It had been three days since Jeno started training me and somehow each day seemed to get harder and harder. My muscles were sore, and my bones felt like they would turn to dust. This was the routine, wake up at 5:00, warm up for thirty minutes, cardio for twenty, weight training also for twenty, and then the next two hours would be dedicated to basic self-defense and hand-to-hand combat. Despite my body feeling like it was one day away from falling apart completely, it looked better than it had in days. My bruises were almost completely healed, and my face had basically returned to normal. Breathing was still hard due to my slowly healing rib, but Jeno refused to let it hold me back as he constantly ordered me to hit harder, run faster, and lift heavier.

The kind and gentle Jeno I knew was long gone by the time training began, replaced by a mountain of pent up rage and aggression. It was no wonder he was able to stay so unbothered despite working such a stressful job. As soon as he entered the gym, it was like he was releasing every ounce of anger he had built up over the course of his life, and damn there was a ton of it. If that wasn’t enough to get over my crush on him, learning that he and Jaemin were dating threw the whole thing away.

I once asked Jaemin how he could stand to work out with Jeno when he was like this. His answer was surprising to say the least.

“I don’t know. I kind of like it. He just looks so sexy when he’s mad. Makes me think of all the dirty things I want him to do to me after we hit the showers.”

The rest of my days continued like normal. At mealtime, I would head to the kitchen and eat with everyone at the dining room table. We couldn’t sit at the kitchen table anymore since Taeyong, Taeil, and even Doyoung started to join us, but only because Yuta forced him to come along. The only members who didn’t join us were Johnny, Winwin and Jaehyun. I found myself wanting to ask what was going on with Winwin and Johnny since I hadn’t crossed paths with them since Jaehyun ordered them to stay glued to each other, but I couldn’t muster up the courage. I found myself missing Winwin. Even though he wasn’t the friendliest guy, there was something about him that felt comforting. For some reason I was beginning to find most of the members comforting to some extent even Doyoung’s threats seemed humorous when paired with Yuta’s sarcastic responses. I knew I should feel on guard with them, but after everything that had happened, it was nice to feel like I had friends.

Friends? Oh god. I better not be developing some weird form of Stockholme Syndrome.

“Hey! Stay focused!” Jeno commanded as he pushed the punching bag into me, knocking me down on the floor.

<><><><><>

Jaehyun chuckled softly as Y/N fell to the floor mat. He continued to watch through the two-way mirror as Jeno offered his hand to Y/N.

On the first day of their training, Jaehyun felt a strange urge to go see how things were going so he decided to take a break from his work to check in on their progress. At first, he only stayed for a few minutes, but today, he found himself losing track of time.

“She’s lovely, isn’t she?” An unexpected voice entered the room.

Jaehyun’s subtle grin abandoned his face, replaced with an irritated scowl.

“I thought I told you I was too busy for any meetings today,” He mouthed, refusing to turn towards the new presence.

“Oh, I can see that, alright,” The voice taunted.

“How did you find me here?” Jaehyun coldly huffed.

“I just rang the bell and that younger member of yours let me in. Mark, was it? After that, I made my way to your office only to find that you weren’t there. Luckily, I ran into one of your staff members, one with a particularly strange hair style I might add, and he suggested I look for you here.”

After a moment of silence passed and it was clear that Jaehyun wasn’t going to speak, the voice continued.

“I’m curious as to why you’re allowing Jeno to train her in the first place,” The voice sighed as if it were suggesting something.

Jaehyun could hear the smirk in the other man’s voice and it pissed him off to no end.

“Having her know basic defense might serve useful if Wayv decided to break their way in here or if we decided to use her for bait or something,” He explained dismissively.

“Are you sure about that? Or are you perhaps feeling guil-”

Jaehyun finally looked at his unwanted guest.

“What do you want, Suho?”

Suho’s playful smirk morphed into a frown that almost perfectly matched that of the younger man.

“We have things we need to discuss.”

<><><><><><><>

After training ended, I returned to my room to shower. Jeno decided to finish a little earlier today since he said that breaks were key to gaining progress. I don’t know how finishing thirty minutes early counts as a break in his mind especially with how long our sessions were to begin with, but I was thankful for the extra time I had to relax before heading down to lunch.

Being able to wear my own clothes was something I was grateful for. It gave me a small amount of power knowing that I didn’t owe anybody anything. It also did a lot to make me feel more comfortable in such an uncomfortable setting. I chose to wear a simple pair of black skinny jeans, a white V-neck T-shirt that hugged at my curves, and my red converse.

I had lunch with everyone being their usual happy selves before returning to my room to rest. Mark was my escort to and from lunch, so once we got back, he and I played several rounds of cards before Yuta barged in.

“Ever heard of knocking?” I playfully teased.

Yuta winked at me.

“You know what they say, you can’t hide anything from your lover.”

Mark and I looked at each other before proceeding to make all sorts of fake vomiting noises.

Yuta was unamused.

“Anyway, Mark, come on let’s go. Impromptu meeting in the billiards room,” He said suddenly in a rush.

“What about Y/N? Who’s gonna guard her?”

“Nobody.”

Yuta turned to me.

“Congrats! The boss says you’re officially too old for a babysitter, now let’s go Mark,” Yuta announced before disappearing into the hallway.

Mark promised he’d be back soon to finish the game, but hours past and there was still no sign of them.

When it was time for dinner, I decided to take advantage of my newfound freedom by making my way to the dining room unescorted. When I arrived, only Jeno and Jaemin were seated at the table. Dinner was mostly quiet. Jaemin explained that the meeting was probably still going on and that’s why we were the only three here. It made sense until Taeyong entered the dining room with a sullen look on his face.

“Y/N? Are you finished eating?”

I nodded, unsure of what else I could say or ask.

“Jaehyun wants to see you in his office.”

Scared and not knowing what to expect, I asked Taeyong what was going on, but he refused to answer. I got up and followed him. Halfway to his office, we ran into Yuta. He smiled when he saw me and opened his mouth to speak. I was expecting him to say some cheesy pick up line, but what I didn’t expect was for him to just pause before looking down at the floor, moving to the side to let us by. I looked back at him as we walked past, utterly shocked that he had actually decided not to tease me for once. It made me uneasy.

When we got to Jaehyun’s office, Taeyong knocked on the door. Instead of a voice on the other side telling us to enter, the door opened and through it walked out two members of 127 whom I had not seen in a very long time.

Johnny and Winwin.

I smiled at them silently. Winwin said nothing and only stared at me. It wasn’t comforting in any sense, but it was better than the pat me on the shoulder Johnny gave me before whispering the words, “I’m sorry.” I watched the two of them disappear down the hallway before a voice I wish I could have forgotten called for us to enter.

Taeyong led me to Jaehyun’s desk and pulled out the chair for me to sit in. Jaehyun kept his eyes glued to me, only looking away to dismiss Taeyong.

Once we were alone, Jaehyun silently stared at me as though he were carefully deciding what to say next.

“Y/N.”

I did my best to meet his gaze, careful not to let him notice my uneven breaths which grew shakier the longer he delayed the next few words that would fall past his lips.

“It has been decided that you and I will get married this month.”

What?

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