#an automatic win in my book haha

[personinthepalace]

I saw a local production of Legally Blonde the Musical today!

One of the local high schools in my city (my old school's "rival" in fact haha) is doing a production of Legally Blonde, and I went to see it today! I'm a huge lbtm fan, but this was my first time seeing a live production, and it was honestly very good!! I am very passionate about the door discourse so I was highly anticipating that moment in the ballad. And this production passed the test! As soon as I saw that they were wheeling out the door during that number, I was silently freaking out to my friend haha. Anyway here are some other random notes/thoughts that I had about the production:

Real dogs! Rufus was a golden retriever, and when he came out, the show paused for a bit bc of the applauding haha. Rufus also listened to Kyle's command to sit which was quite cute haha A HUGE ensemble (it's high school so it makes sense). But they bring back the ensemble for like every possible song Elle was great - she used some vibrato and trills during her solos. Most of So Much Better was kinda a mess (backing music/ensemble not really lining up well), but OMIGOD she held out that last note just like LBB did on bway so huge props to her! Warner was a good singer not as strong as the other leads but he has the best expression/acting choices - more on that later Serious: they didn't do the accidental proposal pose which I thought was a missed joke The violinist during Serious walked back out with some great sad acting after Elle left before playing the last notes of the song (I thought that she was someone from the orchestra but they were actually part of the ensemble so that was cool!) What You Want: Elle's white outfit was cute!! They used the "Jet Blue" line! The actors' school photos for the Elle x Warner poster which I thought was funny haha Harvard variations: they got rid of Sandeep's character so the song was shorter Aaron Sholtz and Enid Hoops were played by butch actors which was cool! Bruiser now loves the Bachelor Emmett - the actor playing him (who my sister knew from elementary school) is such a perfect emmett! Looks exactly like how one would imagine him haha Background acting: Emmett introducing himself to the students and shaking their hands while Elle and Vivienne had their first interaction in class Blood in the water: Callahan was also a very good singer. I think this was one of the strongest number of the show. They also added grey to his hair He was kinda touching Enid during his lines with her but she kept on pushing his hand away from her - foreshadowing! Paulette was amazing!!! I think she might be my favorite actor in the show. She sounds EXACTLY like Orfeh did on bway. Also asian representation!! Ireland - she killed it obviously - seriously amazing!! (though she did accidentally came in early at one part). The lyrics are different from the bway version though (they were about her grandpa) Playboy bunny costume - they added a little tutu to it which was cute! Enid sat near them near the end of this scene (in preparation for Elle stealing her glasses). She tries to drink from a bottle but Warner took it away from her and drank it instead Chip On My Shoulder: Elle wears Emmett's jacket! Emmett saying he hadn't slept since 1998 killed me bc this kid is definitely younger than me haha Elle and Emmett don't do any secret handshakes though :( Elle sat next to Warner during her squealing exit and I loved that so much haha Reclaiming Rufus scene: Elle ran back on stage and threw her arms around Emmett and Paulette - I am here for this trio friendship When Dewey re-exited the trailer and saw Elle, he twirled his long hair

So Much Better, as I said before, was sadly not the strongest number but I do like that Elle's parents appear offstage when she called them. And Elle held out that last note!! Once again no Elle x Emmett secret handshake :(

(Part 2 will continue in a reblog bc apparently I hit the character limit LOL)

[moonstruckme]

Hi! I absolutely love your page and all of your poly!marauders writing! Could I request a poly!marauders where they’re all flirting with r (like pre relationship) and because she’s never really been noticed/flirted with before she thinks they’re kind of making fun of her like it’s a big joke. Then of course she finds out that’s not the case

Thanks for requesting babe, and thanks for reading! I had no idea how long this had become until I checked the wordcount just now haha, and I feel like it got a bit awkward in some places but I hope you enjoy it :)

poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 1.8k

As Friday nights go, this one is pretty typical. You’d arrived at the party with all of your friends, and one by one, they’d been pulled away by significant others, flirty strangers, or potential hookups. Now it’s just you, sitting on the couch and trying not to look awkward as the couple on the opposite end endeavors to swallow each other whole. 

“Hey there, gorgeous,” a familiar voice drawls, and Sirius Black sits down next to you. “Having a good time?”

You force a smile, not wanting to insult the party most likely being thrown by Gryffindor’s golden boys. “Yup.” 

“Doesn’t look like it,” he says, not unsympathetically, then nudges the curled-up form behind him. “Moony, you were really going to let this pretty thing sit here all by herself without speaking to her?”

The book they’re holding lowers, revealing Remus Lupin. His eyes start to roll as if it’s an automatic response to Sirius’ interruption, but then they fall on you. “Oh.” He blinks. “Sorry, love, I didn’t see you there.” 

You flush, sheepish and a bit resentful of being party to Sirius’ reprimand, however teasing it might be. You know Remus from the couple of classes you’ve had together, but you wouldn’t expect him to talk to you outside of those contexts. Speaking to someone that’s obligated is so much worse than speaking to no one at all. “It’s fine,” you say quietly, feeling unbearably awkward. 

“See? She’s too sweet to even hold you accountable for it,” Sirius tuts, shaking his head. “I’m sorry about him, dollface. Can I get you a drink?”

“I, um...” You look down at your empty cup, long since drained. “Sure, thanks.” 

He winks. “Be right back.” 

You expect Remus to go back to his book as Sirius struts off, but he folds the corner of his page, setting it down. 

“I really didn’t mean to ignore you,” he says, looking painfully apologetic. “How are your classes this year?”

You give him your most reassuring smile. “They’re good, thanks. And I didn’t think you were ignoring me.” You cringe. “Sorry Sirius made you put away your book on my account.” 

He looks at you with amber eyes full of kindness. “I don’t mind.” 

It’s a conscious effort to quell the ruckus in your stomach. You’d harbored a tiny, secret crush on Remus when you’d had classes together last year, and this is exactly why. He just seemed like such a sweetheart. Soft-spoken but brilliant, he never raised his hand to answer questions but always scored high on assignments, and you’d once caught him feeding answers to the girl next to him so she could win points for her house. You’d become enthralled with the way his smile would tug gently at the scars on his face, making them glint silver in the light that shone through the classroom windows, and how his eyes sparked with quiet amusement even when he wasn’t laughing.

The silence between you is stretching too long. You fumble for something to continue the conversation. “I like your sweater,” you say dumbly. 

“Yeah?” He smiles, scars flashing. “Thanks, lovely.” He lets his gaze roam over you for a moment, and you try not to squirm. “Do you want it? It’s a bit cold in here.” 

You look down, surprised to discover goose bumps covering your arms. “That’s alright,” you say, but Remus is already shrugging off his sweater, revealing the plain t-shirt underneath. “Remus, really, I’m fine.” 

“Don’t worry about it,” he insists, holding the sweater out to you and raising his eyebrows when you won’t take it. “If you don’t put it on, then neither of us will have it.” 

You watch him for a moment, but Remus doesn’t waver. You take it, giving him a look that you hope conveys both admonishment and apology. “Thank you.” 

“No problem,” he replies as you shrug it on. “Considering that this is a school of magic, it does a pretty poor job of regulating its temperature during the winter, don’t you think? Couldn’t let you just sit here and freeze, sweetheart. Sirius would kill me when he got back.” 

You pull Remus’ sleeves over your cold fingers, using the movement to avoid eye contact as your face heats. The way he’s talking to you, the pet names, it’s all so strange. You don’t get it. 

“Not to be rude,” Remus says before you can go deeper into your musings, “but I thought I saw you come in with a bunch of other girls. Where’d they all go?”

Ah. He’s talking to you because he likes one of your friends. “Oh.” You wave your hand about vaguely. “Here and there, pulled aside by various prospects. I’m sure you can find some of them if you go looking.” 

“But they left you by yourself?” He seems to disregard your friends’ whereabouts, his eyebrows coming together just a bit. “That’s not very nice. Lucky for us, though, I suppose.” 

You tilt your head, not quite sure what he means, but then Sirius returns, James Potter in tow. 

“Told you,” Sirius says as he passes you your drink, hand lingering on yours a second too long. James gives one to Remus. “She’s miserable.” 

“Can’t have that,” James replies agreeably, looking for somewhere to sit. His eyes fall on the couple behind you and he leans close to your ear. “Merlin, they’re really going at it, aren’t they?”

You laugh, and he grins at you like that was his aim all along. Meanwhile, Sirius has devised a solution to the problem of seating, making himself comfortable almost entirely in Remus’ lap. He gestures for you to come closer. You comply tentatively, scooting a couple feet towards the two of them. 

“Don’t be shy.” Sirius reaches out and grips your waist, hauling you closer until you’re pressed up against Remus’ leg and Sirius’ side, his arm remaining snugly around your waist. “We don’t bite. Unless you’re into that, of course.” 

“Pads.” Remus’ voice is stern, softened for your benefit. “Take it easy.” 

“Oh, come on,” Sirius scoffs. “I saw you putting the moves on her from over by the punch. You don’t get to have all the fun.” 

Putting the moves on you? Sirius almost makes it sound like Remus had been…flirting. Oh. You suppose maybe he had. But intentionally? Really? Sirius Black will flirt with anything, but Remus is a different story.

It must be a part of some bit they’re all doing, you realize. They are pranksters. Sirius was probably bored and in need of entertainment, and there you were, sitting all by yourself. Practically begging to be the object of his amusement. And then he’d enlisted Remus to go along with it. They’re probably all going to go back to their dorm tonight and laugh about how easily you’d fallen for it. Your face burns.

James has settled into the ample space you’ve made on the couch, allowing you a bit more room that Sirius seems willing to. “You alright, lovely? I’m sorry you haven’t been having a very good time.”

You look at him, finding nothing but sincerity in his warm brown eyes. You don’t suppose he would have been able to get away with so much if he weren’t a good actor. The last thing you’re going to do is give them more to laugh about by making a scene. “No, I’m fine. It’s a good party.” 

“Yeah?” James cocks his head like a puppy. “Well, that’s good, I guess. How’d you end up by yourself though, sweetheart?”

Remus answers for you. “Her friends left her.” 

“They’ll come back eventually,” you say hastily, then realize how pathetic that sounds. It’s all you can do not to shrink in on yourself. 

“I’m sure they are,” James says, and try as you might, you can detect no sarcasm in his tone, “but it’s still not a very considerate thing for friends to do. You seem like excellent company.” 

You scoff, taking a long sip of your drink. “Apparently not.” 

“You are,” Sirius says casually, looking at you over the rim of his cup. “I mean, I’ve only been around you for a little while, but it’s been a delightful experience for me. And Moony seems to like talking to you. That’s high praise.” 

Remus elbows Sirius but gives you one of his soft, kind looks, and it’s too much. It’s all too much. You feel like you’re being eaten alive by shame at how much you’re enjoying their attention, even if it’s all for show. 

“I have an idea,” James says, knee bumping into yours amicably. “We were going to go to Hogsmeade tomorrow to study. Would you come with? We could grab lunch together and convince you of how pleasant you are to have around.” 

You scoff. This charade has gone too far. “Yeah, right. What time should I meet you, at nine in the great hall, where everyone will be watching?” 

Who gets off on this anyway? Flirting is one thing, but all this faux kindness, just to humiliate you? It’s a cruelness beyond what you thought them capable of. 

James hesitates at your tone. “Um, yeah. Nine is good, if that works for you.”

You shake your head, crossing your arms. Sirius gets the message, removing his hand from around your waist. “This isn’t funny.” 

“It’s not supposed to be.” James looks wounded, and Remus leans forward, a concerned set to his brows. “Hey, what’s going through your head?” he asks, all concerned tenderness. 

You look between them, angry and, if you’re being honest with yourself, very hurt. “This is a prank, right? Because I was sitting alone and you were bored? Well, I don’t think it’s funny.” 

“Darling,” Remus breathes, reaching out as if to touch you but hesitating with his hand hovering just above your shoulder, “no one’s pranking you.”

Sirius shakes his head. “That’s not…we would never do something like that, and I’m sorry you think we would. Let me be clear: we want to go on a date with you tomorrow. Obviously you don’t have to, but we’d love it if you came.” 

You feel your eyebrows scrunch up, trying to right your worldview. You feel like you have whiplash. “Wait, are you serious?”

He grins, and it’s half sheepish, half wolfish. “That’s me.” 

You giggle a bit at that, and Remus works up the courage to let his hand land on your shoulder, squeezing gently. “No jokes or catches, lovely girl. I promise.” 

You send him a small smile before turning to James, who still looks like he’s had the wind knocked out of him. “I’m really sorry I accused you guys of that,” you say, guilt replacing shame at the feast of your insides. “I just…I’ve never had someone…notice me in that way before. I thought it was a joke.” 

James’ smile still bears some leftover unease, but there’s no reproach in it. “That’s alright, angel,” he says, earnest as he had been all along. “I’m sorry you thought we didn’t mean it. Let us prove it, yeah? Tomorrow?”

You beam at him, a frisson of excitement going through you. “Yeah, tomorrow.”

[director-yomi-hellsmile]

reading the...... Preview....... My notes....... Heheheheh

We got a timeskip. By a little.. I see Bristleclaw (aka formerly Bristlepaw) as a warrior let's see about the siblings + if the wretched nightsun spawn are born. Also if Graypaw's not named Grayspots I'm slamming my keyboard (I'm on the phone)

Wafflepelt. I forgot Wafflepaw was a thing sdjjjgds imagine getting ur cat to win a contest to star in canon warrior cat and its got the -pelt suffix. Cheated and spat on

Stemtail and Graywhisker.... I guess Graywhisker's fineeeeee but come on he has spots. He's got spots.......

Nightsun babies are here. Named Goldenkit (golden tabby tom) and Shinekit (black molly). Hi kids I'm so sorry your dad is literally Nightheart

Oh wait Myrtlebloom also got a litter?????? Is this where Shyfrost's gonna come from.. Kits are Oakkit (pale brown tabby molly with white spots), Sunkit (orange tabby tom, is it after Sunbeam??) and Hazelkit (tortie molly with white spots). No Shyfrost in sight. Keep on looking

ThunderClan baby boom

This will affect the family tree.

Anyway checking out all the other adult names of the ASC kits lol. ShadowClan first

Oh they got: Birchfeather (Dovewing and Tigerstar kit which means I automatically like him), Bloompetal, Firbark, Whisperbreeze, Streamripple. I actually like those?? Firbark and Streamripple especially. Good job Tigerstar let me kiss you directly on thr lips

Who the hell are Redpaw and Sprucepaw huh... New spawn.... Also oh no I see Lightleap gave birth god forbid a single even a little prominent female character not get pregnant. The Curse has finally affected my girl. It was inevitable. I should have prepared

Lightleap spawn is Quickkit (ginger tabby tom), Beehckit (pale brown tom, haha typo the writers made a typo everyone point and laugh), and Poolkit (white molly). The cat genetics nerd inside me in crying and writhing in pain rn

SkyClan section. Fuck you Tree I hate Tree stupid stupid cat

Beetleshine for Beetlepaw... Good name good name but I already named an OC that earlier so I am not impressed. I was first. Beepaw is uhhh where thebhell is Beepaw. Oh they're Beesting. Actual good names I am satisfied with your work. Moving on

Duskshine and Ridgeglow also good however come on you already used -shine in the same generation come onnnn.......

Ok Who's pregnant. Was anyone pregnant

Needleclaw was.... Her kids are Robinkit (reddish-brown molly) and Starlingkit (black and white tom) Woohoo Starling prefix win. Also by any chance is the father Kitescratch. Just wondering

FINALLY. Sparrow and Cherry retired

WindClan timeeeee

Leafcurl yay. Nice girl nice name 9/10. Her less cooler siblings got Grassfur and Branchleap. Clearly there's a superior sister

Silkypaw and Fluffpaw??? Huhhhhh?? Who are they..... Also thanks for getting creative for once your efforts have been recognized by the great Yomi

Kicking my feet going hehehe at warrior cat website book preview. This is where I was supposed to be all this time. I found my calling

Stripeheart and Brookripple are also here. I revoke my praise of the authors getting creative come onnnnn you literally JUST named Streamripple I. I'm gonna make them kiss. Bond over being literal clones

Guys this is big. This is huge. Breezepelt is a grandpa now. I am going to shed tears

Appleshine's kits (Breeze grandkids) are: Rustlekit (white tom with a brown tail) and Stretchkit (brown tabby molly with white face markings). Giving the authors their creativity praise back. Do not dissapoint me again

WAIT NIGHTCLOUD RETIRED. o7

Still not over with how Owlnose is a deputy now for some reason. Didn't his entire small character arc a few books back center wholly around with how he should not be a leader. They literally only picked him because they killed off literally every other RiverClan character with a personality and he was the only fuckijg option because he's the only cat who got actually developed even if it makes no sense I. I'm. I hope he spontaneously combusts

Also I will prevent myself from going off on Podlight getting off scot free for his atrocities while. I will prevent myself I do not deserve this headache

Anywayyyy Splash siblings are adults now named Troutshine (WHAT'S WITH THE SHINES), Rapidsplash and Floatshimmer (who's also with kits now? you sure you aint too young..)

wait a moment. I just realized something about the timeline. Wait was Sunbeam already- yeah she was pregnant in like. Wait hold on does this make sense. If it doesn't then the timeline is broken if it does I'm just rightfully worried,

Anyway guess Hollowspring and Sparrowtail joined RiverClan? I thiiiiink it was mentioned in Star. Or not.

Amyway Floatshimmer kids are Heronkit (silver molly) and Eelkit (black tom)

Phew... That's the allegiances section. Holy fuck. That's a lot of cats. Kitten season

On to the actual chapters now lmao

Prologue:

Oh hii Leafpool is that Skystar GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HERRRR LEAVE HER ALONEEEEEEE DO NOT TALK TO HER. HE SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED AROUND WOMEN THIS IS FUCKING TERRIFYING GET AWAYYYYYYY

"The Clans were unstable in my time, and if you ask me, they’re just as bad now.” Skystar. Skystar back in your times the Clans weren't unstable they were a tragic disaster that brutally murdered every single woman that came in contact with it. Also shut up get this man away from Leafpool

Why is Skystar here even. Get him out

Also. The writing here is so goofy can we get to Moonpaw already

Oh wait another journey?? Actually this is fine I hate the Lake territories. Change location NOW

Chapter 1

Why's Tawnypelt such a hater. What did Bloompetal do to you she's literally just frolicking she's just a girl

Why is she. Genuinely So mean to everyone.

Which don't get me wrong is not inherently Bad if this was any other media I love mean mean women however this is warriors. I don't remember the last time a wc character was genuinely just kind and nice to people, every single cat is just written interacting in such a mean-spirited way and them just being casually cruel to each other is supposed to be charming somehow, like everyone's an asshole already we don't need more. And also Tawnypelt is a Female Warriors Character™ which means that if this keeps up she'll definitely get disproportionately "punished" for it in some way later and. I'm just praying that Moonpaw is a ray of goddamn sunshine when we get to her please I can't do this anymore

Is. Is the entire chapter gonna be her being unreasonable and snapping at everyone younger. Is. Is

I actually genuinely do not understand her problem. Like I get she's sad I get it but. Was she deliberately written as making problems out of nowhere, or did the writers shart once again.

(don't mind me I'm just paranoid... I've been hurt by warrior cats before...)

Hehe Poolkit- oh wait that was it. That was the chapter. I mean its fine actually

Chapter 2:

Leafstar time. I don't like her but I will now mindwipe all my opinions I've had on her character to have somewhat of a good time now. Maybe she gets better!!

Praying they are gonna be normal about Leafstar's vision loss. Please warrior cats

I was correct lmao Kitescratch was the father

Mystery Sickness

Mystery Sickness epidemic plot!!! I got no idea what the hell these symptoms are supposed to be but. Ok❤️yay

There is people being loud at my house

Can be Mystery Sickness pleaseeeeeeeee spread to ThunderClan too. Can we have ThunderClan population culling this arc pleaseeeee

Anyway get out my way grandma it's MOONPAW TIME

Chapter 3

Baby.

Oh god another medcat apprentice that doesn't want to be a medcat. Can we stop.

Also idk about how they just took a look at Moonpaw (who's also a child) looking different (aka. having chimerism) and went "we're now gonna force you into a lifetime of celibacy" it's just. So weird to me I hope Moonpaw kills everyone especially her parents

Moonkit. Moonkit I'm speaking directly to you now you have to start killing

Oh fuck she's got that voice inside her head. Please writers I am praying for you to be normal. If this is her vengeful dead fetus sibling she absorbed in the womb that people have been theorizing I am also going to kill everyone. If this is also an Evil Plural plot I will get your spirits too

Oh no. Oh fuck. Chat I think it's. Oh no. Chat I think they're. Doing just that.

Oh fuck. Oh no. *sighs painfully* *cocks gun*

Thanks Jayfeather and everyone else in that den for being normal about Moonpaw and clearing up the fact that it's just her parents that are being Really Weird

I like. Moonpaw. I'm also taking her and her voice away from the warrior cat writers she is mine now get away from her

Yep that finally confirms it she's being deliberately written as plural

Unnamed Moonpaw Voice you're so silly. If you're evil later for some reason I will take your side

Unnamed Moonpaw Voice got a reflection-

Oh fucj is that. They're really. Is that really the spirit of her dead fetus sibling she absorbed in womb oh god oh fuck

VERDICT: I am officially taking Moonpaw away from the writers that's it. She is mine now get away from her what are you doing why am I actually somewhat affected by this

[yakumtsaki]

I’d like to start this update with this shocking image of SHAJAR TICKLING JOJO. Since when do you two remotely interact?!?

-Oh lighten up, will ya? -My beloved daughter is right, look at those snapdragon animations, everything’s literally coming up roses around here! 

YA RIGHT, ‘things are going great’, what bs are you gonna come up with next??

-Things ARE going great! Look at me suddenly being a good father!

-And look at me becoming a professional party guest! And I’ve been super loyal to Don too, huhu!🌸

Ok well excuse me if I don’t bust out the confetti yet, historically we’ve had some difficulties maintaining a winning streak around here..

Sugar, there you are! Now what disaster do you currently have going on, spit it out.

-No disasters, just enjoying my day off! 

WHAT IS HAPPENING 

-I’ve just read this great book about the importance of skin-to-skin contact for newborns!

-And I rolled the want to potty-train Felina!

-And I just love changing diapers all of a sudden! 

OK SERIOUSLY WTF. Are we gonna have our first calm update.. EVER??

Oh man here we go, here we go, what are you two arguing about!

-Nothing, we’re just talking about how nice it is that those spicy updates are a thing of the past! -It’s so much better to treat each other with love and respect!💗

Are you people trying to drive me crazy??

-I got promoted again! I can’t wait to share the good news with my family and then spend quality time with my children! 

OH MY GOD ENOUGH

The kittens grew up and Shinok is the automatic heir per my tradition of picking the chonkiest cat! The puppies also grew up..

..and I think it’s clear who the dog heir is LOL. Veronica where the hell did your giant ears come from?? 

-I don’t know but they’re a lewk! 

They most certainly are! The non-heir pets are of course going off to have much better lives with Wulf and Angel❤️

Speaking of ❤️, it is with a heavy ❤️ that after trying to turn Jojo into a werewolf for the better part of a century, I’M NOW CURING HIM PER HIS WISH. Jojo truly, I have no words. 

-Well then you’re gonna love the want I’m about to roll tomorrow!

GO TO HELL

Things continue to go UNNERVINGLY well. Liz topped her career and rolled the want to teach Felina to talk-

-followed by the want to teach her to walk! (Look at their identical noses, awwwww🧡)

Then Sophito rolled the want to teach her a nursery rhyme, at which point something incredibly shocking has become clear. Sit down for this: we are dealing with our first pair of good parents in the main house.

DUDE. THEY’RE EVEN HAVING CONVOS ABOUT PARETING I CAN’T. REMEMBER WHEN YOU USED TO BANG ON THE UNI POOL TABLE??

-Oh haha, we sure were wild back then! Now dear, I read about this great new educational toy- 

-Oh I know the one, it said it helps with cognitive development!  -Yes!  -We need to get two, Bartholomew is about to become a toddler!

Oh right he is!

That’s how calm shit is around here, that I actually REMEMBERED a birthday. Alright Barth, time to grow up! Please don’t get the Frances eyebrows, please, please, please-

-YES THANK GOD. Now let’s check the ole personality panel..

..OH NO HE HAS SHAJAR’S PERSONALITY. DON’T EVEN THINK OF ROLLING POPULARITY, YOU HEAR ME, YOU LITTLE BRAT?? Happy birthday etc.

Speaking of Shajar, Cyneswith remains a better grandma than her despite not being these kids’ grandma. 

-I wanna teach her how to talk!🌸  

You what now?

-Ok baby now say ‘chair, huhu💗’! -Chaiw, huhu💗! -YAYYYY🌸

Alright I’m starting to develop a theory here since Cyn is so ridic partial to Felina but doesn’t seem to give a crap about Bartholomew, that maybe Cyn wanted a daughter?? Idek dude, NOTHING MAKES SENSE ANYMORE.

Look at this shit.

LOOK.

LOOK. Like these are legit some never-before-seen images, where did this all functionality come from??? Also man Barth is ROTUND, his cheeks! Liz and Soph really made some cute bbs🧡

It’s time for Felina’s birthday, which I ALSO REMEMBERED. Jojo does the honors since this is probably the last birthday where he’ll be with us💔

OMG SHE’S A LIL SOPHITO CLONE

-I sure am! Now if you’ll excuse me, grandma Cyn said she has bought some new clothes for me!

OH GOOD LORD CYN

[ii3clover]

even if he did make you...you are special in your *own* right - you've outgrown the mold he made you out of and became your own person.

also idk iirc suitcase has Issues and Problems and making her a "princess" would only stress her out even more.

9/14/24

(for the record, i've never met suitcase before! i just heard nice things about her from folks who've competed with her. i hope she's doing alright... jake said he saw her there when he learned about this whole creation thing, so i suppose she's at least as weirded out as i am!)

i wonder what my luck was meant to be like, cuz it doesn't exactly work like you'd expect! i've thought about it for a while, and it seems like my luck sorta knows what i want (not what would be best for me) and shifts the world around to make it happen.

like, i didn't actively want box to get hurt that day, but i did want myself not to get hurt (even if i wasn't thinking about it), so my luck made him get caught in the crossfire so i wouldn't get hurt... and when i was gonna be voted out, at first my luck made the votes not work, and that's probably because at the back of my mind i still wanted to stay (i still thought it would be nice to win, i just didn't enjoy people getting hurt in the process)! so my luck kept my elimination from happening, until i made the active decision that i wanted to leave -- then my luck was like, oh! clover wants to leave! so it made that happen :D

that's an important thing to remember -- i'm automatically kinda self-centered, so my first choice will always be the thing that keeps me safe or happy or whatever, until i actively decide that something else would be better overall (though i suppose everyone's like that, at least a little).

i wonder if i was ever meant to really think about that though. was i supposed to always be oblivious to the way my luck works? blissfully ignorant, not noticing how my automatic desire for pleasure, in its constant, unconditional fulfillment, causes others pain?

...oopsy daisy, sorry for using so many big words! i read a lot of books from cabby's library recently, tee hee!

at the very least, i'm happy that now i'm really aware of my luck. if i went any longer hurting folks without even realizing... well, i don't know how i'd live with myself...

haha! sorry for being a downer! thank you for your kind words :)

[antoine-triplett]

What's your favorite character from The Hunger Games trilogy?

Why do you like this character?

Favorite quote or moment from them?

Please state one (or more) thing which you don't like from them.

Thank you 😊

@curiousnonny

Katniss and Prim are my favorite characters, but it’s a tough choice! I like Rue a lot as well.

Rue is just such a cool little kid. If she had been a few years older, she might have been able to win the Games herself. She’s so smart and I like how she and Katniss share tips from their different districts and take care of each other. It’s a nice way to foreshadow how the districts unify to beat the Capitol. To Katniss, Rue is the true Mockingjay.

Rue’s interview with Caesar is devastating but holy crap, what a champ. Imagine being 12 years old and being dressed up like a doll, pushed out on stage in front of thousands of strangers and being asked about being hunted by teenagers, then saying this in response:

She is doesn’t give up and GOD IT MAKES ME EMOTIONAL. I want to reach into the book, pull her out, and give her some toys and hot chocolate before sending her home to her family.

As Katniss states a couple of times, Rue and Prim share many great qualities which is probably why I like them both. Like Rue, Prim is helpful and kind, but also smart and not to be underestimated.

This Prim moment is just 👌👌👌

The third book is really her chance to shine. Plus she’s a cat lady so I automatically trust her.

Honestly the only thing I don’t like about both characters is that they die 🙃

Katniss is a bit more complicated but I like that. It’s more relatable for me, haha. She gets angry and says the wrong thing sometimes, but don’t we all? She’s unintentionally hilarious which is one of the best kinds of hilarious. She really, really doesn’t take shit which is admirable even though it makes her life much more difficult.

This Katniss moment is very funny to me (especially as it’s in the last book like she finally snapped and said fuck you both how bout that) given how invested everyone else is in her romantic interests throughout the series:

Some of the passages where she describes scenery are beautiful but there are too many for me to pick a fave, lol. I love her overall perspective on nature.

Katniss’ generally low opinion of herself is frustrating, but understandable and I think she grows out of it by the end of the trilogy so, you know, it’s all part of the journey. She’s got some unreliable narrator in her.

Mags is cool too! I would love to know more about her life and how she won her Games.

[jodilin65]

MONDAY, DECEMBER 30, 2019 Want to lose weight? Just stop exercising, LOL. In the three days I’ve taken off from exercising I’ve lost 2 lbs, as I usually do when I take a break. But I value the benefits of keeping active so I’m going to work out in a bit and gain more muscle that I don’t need and not lose the fat I do need to lose, haha.

Been getting “neck knockers” again lately and I don’t know why. That’s usually a blood pressure thing but my blood pressure hasn’t been any higher than usual. It’s actually not that bad. I’ve also been having some palpitations which get a little scary at times. I’m not talking about a racing HR so much as that fluttery feeling that lasts for a few seconds.

The commercial planes have gone from horrible to quiet to back to being horrible. Last night I couldn’t even hear the freeway, so except for a few helicopters and small planes, it was relatively quiet. When I awoke in the early evening and turned off the sound machine, I could hear the freeway which told me I would likely hear the planes, and sure enough, we’re back to half a dozen or so an hour. They’ve been flying later and starting earlier and we easily get around 100 a day, not counting small planes and helicopters.

It’s absolutely horrible here and I can’t believe others aren’t just as annoyed. Emergencies are one thing but it’s totally ridiculous how so many businesses are all about making money and to hell with who gets put out by it. I can’t wait to get out of this fucking place someday. It’s hard to get a quiet place anywhere, but I just want to get off the street and out of a flight path!

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 29, 2019 Nice to be able to understand Love’s mother’s German on YOU and yes, achieving orgasm at her age definitely does get harder, if you can ever get in the mood to begin with. Sometimes I wonder if a younger hottie could even do it for me these days, but I doubt it. As for being “dry as a desert” down there, I don’t know about that, but things certainly aren’t like the Amazon rainforest either.

Thanks to the fucking garbage truck waking me up, I’m a little tired today. I’m sure the wine I also treated myself to didn’t help either.

I’ve noticed that when I take a few days off from working out, my weight drops. All I do when I work out is gain more muscle. I don’t lose any fat. Well, I definitely don’t need any more muscle weighing me down any more than I need more fat, but it’s true, LOL. I build muscle so easily that all I do is pack on more whenever I work out. I wouldn’t want to because super muscular men are gross and it’s even grosser on a woman, but I could train as a bodybuilder so easily!

After unfriending and blocking the drama queen on Goodreads (I forgot that because I joined through Facebook it would automatically connect me with my Facebook friends) I decided to leave the same comment I left to the same person that bashed one of my books on Amazon. I also flagged them, but I don’t know if anything will be done about them. If they don’t do anything at least they’ll have my reply which is the paragraph below.

Hello! I am the author of this book, and you left the exact same dramatic message on Amazon which they removed. First, I’m very sorry you didn’t enjoy the book. Secondly, never did I try to hide the genre of this book. I never said in the synopsis that it was a “bad relationship” nor did I list it in such categories as romance, drama or relationships. If you’re this sensitive, then perhaps you should seek actual romances and or comedies. And may I suggest in the future simply moving on to something else when you happen upon a book you dislike rather than bashing the book/author? Just a suggestion. :) Have a nice day!

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 27, 2019 I may skip entering expiring sweeps this month because all it does these days is invite spam and win notifications for other people. I’m sorry, but I just don’t need to be congratulated on some stranger’s win in whatever city and state they live in.

I decided I missed writing publicly on MD after all, and the guy was kind enough to restore the account I deleted. I don’t give a shit anymore if Tammy and her brood find me. I can ignore them. I did change my username, however, not wanting to make it that easy for them. So, if they look up my name, they’ll be out of luck. They’ll have to stumble upon me accidentally or find some other means of looking me up.

I am going to discontinue Dreamwidth, though, because there is a tool to make all the entries public, so I learned, but it’s a paid feature. So, screw them.

The people we bought the guinea pigs’ hay from are sending a free hay mobile for the pigs in exchange for leaving a product review on Amazon. I even included a picture. I also gave them additional pictures of the pigs and one of Fuzzy for their featured cuties, as they call it.

The pigs aren’t as dumb as I thought they were. They know exactly where all their things are kept. When I go to the refrigerator, they follow me to the corner of their pen closest to it because they know that’s where their lettuce is kept. They also beg by the counter that’s by the entryway because they know that’s where their tomatoes are. Also, I went into the kitchen last night and saw they were out of hay. I started fixing myself something to eat and told myself I would get their hay once I preheated the oven. Then they walked over to the counter where the hay is and started squealing, so they know where it’s kept.

I woke up today thinking it was quite a miracle that I slept through the trash and green waste trucks, but it turns out there’s a simple reason why. They didn’t come today. I guess that due to the holidays they’re backed up, so they’re coming tomorrow instead.

I’m a little perplexed as to why Aly won’t point out typos in my journal entries that I either discover later or put in her entries deliberately as a test. Does she feel like it’s too much to ask for? I wouldn’t think that would be asking for much in exchange for me taking the time to send her the entries, but I guess it’s just a pain in the ass for her for some reason. Aly’s always been known to notice things but not say anything, as she herself once tweeted.

Time to go trim my bangs now.

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 26, 2019 So, SO grateful to my bestie for upvoting 3 of the books she’s read on Goodreads! As I told her, I owe her one!

It was my turn to be pissed at Netflix. S2 of YOU was just released there, even though Hulu still has enough stuff. For now, anyway. It’s just my luck that as soon as I find an American movie that looks good, it turns out I’ve already seen it.

Anyway, I realized we actually have Netflix until January 8th, so that gives me plenty of time to watch the second season of YOU, even if as always, race and color have to be mentioned and it must be implied that life is a bowl of cherries for whites wow insinuating that a woman at the motor vehicles didn’t get proper attention simply because she was Muslim. Really, really getting sick of all these exaggerated and unfair portrayals of non-whites as victims and whites having everything come easy to them.

All the conservatives that hate gays must be a million more times more annoyed than I am because just as many shows depicting all these non-whites that are supposedly picked on by the evil yet “privileged” white man have gay and lesbian characters, too. It’s about time, too! Yes, every group has been shit on in some form or another, but no groups have been victimized nearly as much as gays and Jews. So while I’m irritated by how bad TV makes white people look these days, I’m ten times more thrilled to see those lesbian weddings! :-)

So much for getting any peace from commercial planes after midnight. Two of them roared overhead one right after the other after 1am. The night before they waited till just after midnight, while the day before it was all day and all night. So they’re just as unpredictable as they are predictable.

Thanks, God, for ensuring that every single fucking place I ever live in is noisy. Thanks. Seriously, I clench my fists and say to any possible God up there through gritted teeth, “You WILL compensate me for all this noise in the next place. You WILL!”

But of course it won’t. Just like some people are meant to be alone or broke, I’m meant to live with noise.

The mama’s boy came and went yesterday and might have woken me up. I’m not sure, though. I’m not sure if I woke up and then heard it or if it woke me up first but, one of the times I definitely heard it.

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 24, 2019 Not surprisingly, Christmas Eve begins with the loud car coming and then going. Hoping it will disappear after the holidays, but it seems that at least one of the times it became a regular problem was right after the new year began.

At least I’m finally getting some peace from above tonight. It’s wonderful. Last night was just awful! You couldn’t even go 10 to 15 minutes without hearing commercials, small planes, or low-flying helicopters. It really sucked. Had the air cleaner running on high and could still hear the fuckers.

I’ve already begun my healthier eating but not dieting in the traditional sense. My goals are simple… Eat right, keep active, and let the rest take care of itself and be whatever it’s meant to be.

However, I’m still getting hit with random bouts of fatigue that really annoys me. There doesn’t seem to be much of a pattern to it. Sometimes I can work out for an hour and still have energy, and other times I can slave over the animals like we did for about a half-hour and feel drained as if I’d been going and going for hours. Since I’m not in perimenopause anymore and since I don’t believe I have PV, it probably is low thyroid. I’ll begin swapping in fatigue for anxiety in February before my March blood drawing.

I wonder how much of it could be age. I’ve heard conflicting reports as far as aging and fatigue. Some say it goes with the territory and others say you shouldn’t be tired just because you’re older and that if you are, something’s wrong. If it is normal with age, is 54 really old enough to feel this way?

I hope Dixie was able to get the help that she expected from Pat and her husband. Pat is the black woman that lives next to her. I’ve exchanged waves and hellos with her before, but thanks to the sickos in Arizona putting a complex on me, I’m hesitant to get too close even though this is certainly no welfare bum on C8. The last thing I need is to have her get pissed off at me for whatever and find out the hard way that she has a corrupt cop friend she can use to race-card me into trouble. Again, it may be highly unlikely, but it happened once. Their stories kept changing, though. I guess first the bitch told the media I threatened just her, and then it was her whole family. I’m not trusting in general no matter who it is or where they’re from, but there are certain cases where I’m even more hesitant to take chances.

A couple of days ago I noticed that the shower pressure was back down again. We’re not sure what it is but it wouldn’t surprise me if it was on the park somehow.

Someone in the UK downloaded 8 pages of Renting Ginny. Let me guess… They hated it and can’t wait to bash it on Goodreads, right? I asked Aly, and she’s going to be kind enough to give it a good rating. Hopefully, it will go through.

Found an easier way to double-check and edit entries on Blogger, MD, PB and Dreamwidth/LJ, but it’s still a big job and LJ is giving me shit tonight. They’re saying I exceeded the login failure rate and that my IP has been temporarily banned. Yet when I go to the site directly, I’m able to do things there. Tom thinks it’s a bandwidth issue.

Last night I dreamed of beaches and other things, but I can’t remember the other things.

MONDAY, DECEMBER 23, 2019 I was looking forward to doing another exercise video today, but I don’t know. I’m kind of tired today. Maybe I’ll just walk on the treadmill. I even wanted to go out and get a walk in the fresh air, but I just don’t have the energy. I don’t know why. I didn’t think I slept that badly.

I Googled my name to see how easy it is to pull up my Blogger blog, and it isn’t. Not since Google+ went away. In doing so, I found the same shitty review on Renting Ginny on Goodreads that the person left on Amazon before the drama queen’s review, which was removed. Someone else I don’t seem to know also gave it a 1-star rating.

So they love it when it’s free but hate it when it’s not? Anyone who’s ever read it for free said it was a really good book. And why are people quick to review books they don’t like as opposed to those they do like?

I also discovered someone gave Evil Amongst the Evergreens a 3-star rating and gave Kinky Katrina a 4-star rating on a Dutch site.

Since Aly is a Goodreads member, and Goodreads is mostly for rating books and keeping track of what you read, I asked her to see if she could rate any of them. Ginny could certainly use a boost over there!

All is fairly quiet in the park today, but the sky is a totally different story.

I woke up with a slight headache and it’s not going away on its own, so time to hit the ibuprofen.

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 22, 2019 The planes weren’t as bad as I expected them to be last night or so far today, but the car stereos around here are getting worse. Don’t most things eventually, though? I’m hearing them more when I’m out in public and even in the park. I’m guessing most of the park ones aren’t residents but delivery people or visitors.

Lots of wind and rain today as we made a quick run to Walgreens. This should be it for the rest of the year, though.

At the store, they had some items discounted and one of them was a collection of bergamot and vanilla-scented body wash, lotion, body butter, and cologne for just $5. It’s nice smelling. Not great, but good and definitely a good deal.

Tom agrees that I don’t have polycythemia vera and that they likely just use that term for someone who’s slightly high when it comes to red blood cells and hematocrit counts.

The way so many doctors screw up, not just with me but with people in general, is rather alarming. It seems to happen way more often than it should. They can’t get everything right 100% of the time, but I think they fuck up a little too often.

My PCP told me that high blood pressure couldn’t cause anxiety, but anxiety could cause high blood pressure. That’s not what I recently read online, though.

Then there was that time they were going to start me on the same blood pressure medicine he was on that made him cough a lot when I saw the nurse and asked her to ask Doc A if it could be losartan or something like that instead. Then the doctor later tells me that my morning readings are good so it’s best not to take anything because it might make me dizzy, and I was like, NOW she tells me this? How dizzy might I have gotten if I’d gone ahead and taken what the nurse first recommended?

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 21, 2019 Tom and I racked our brains trying to figure out why I couldn’t tap a word on the phone when voice typing and have a drop-down menu with other options appear. Then he did some research and found that we needed to turn off Samsung’s speech-to-text and activate Google’s, which I feel is the most accurate and has the best features. So now I once again have that option and won’t be going back to my old phone like I might have had we not been able to fix that.

As heavy and as bulky as this phone is in comparison, I definitely like it much better. It’s much faster and the graphics look great. I also love unlocking it with my fingerprint.

I can tell it’s going to be a bad plane night. If you can hear them tearing overhead at this time, then they’re likely to be bad until after midnight.

Anyway, I was thinking about how I’ve been less public for a while now not just because I don’t want people in my past to know what’s going on with me but possible future park managers or rental managers not being able to glimpse into who I am, and I wonder if I should worry about that so much. Maybe I’m worrying about that more than I should, so sooner or later I’m going to say “fuck it” just like I stopped being too nice and too forgiving. If a potential management company looks in on me before deciding whether or not to sell or rent to us and they decide they don’t like me because I’m liberal or something, then maybe they’re not the ones to be doing business with in the first place. As for those in my past, fuck what they know or don’t know because they’re in my past to stay. They won’t be getting a brand-new pass into my life in a decade or so from now because of biology, something people take way too seriously and put way too much stock in.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 20, 2019 Damn you, Sarah. Yeah, I should have figured the little shit would go through my followers and reach out to Tom on Pinterest as she did three weeks ago. Well, the turd has been blocked with its message completely unread and ignored. I also changed our usernames and profile links.

It’s kind of funny that they think Tom is the answer to their problem with me and that he’s going to fix everything and side with them as opposed to his “mentally ill” wife. Yeah, everyone that pisses them off automatically becomes mentally ill. However, she and her sisters and mother are as meaningless to us as strangers on the other side of the world babbling at us in some totally foreign language. They always will be, too.

We were laughing the other day when I realized that his workplace is right in front of Tammy’s face only she doesn’t know it, of course. Well, the old name of his workplace is. It isn’t called that anymore but I’m pretty sure one of the pictures I took in Florida shows him wearing a company shirt.

I love my new phone but speech-to-text, which is the most important thing for me with all the writing I do, isn’t as easy to use, which is a bit surprising. If my other one didn’t write out swears it would at least star them but now it gives me incorrect words altogether in place of swears. “Shit” is “ship.”

Worst of all is that I can’t touch a word I want to change and get a drop-down menu with other alternatives.

I still have a lot of setting up to do. The phone is so long that it’s hard to see everything clearly without moving my eyeballs, lol. It might actually be a little skinnier than my cheap Android but it’s definitely longer and images are sharper. It came with a stunning image of a forest in autumn with colorful trees for wallpaper.

I first consider playing music on this phone when out walking but it’s a bit heavy and bulky. I have to remember not to hold it too low in my small hand otherwise it could topple over the back of my hand. If you want something compact and lightweight, the Samsung Galaxy isn’t the way to go. I had to laugh when I thought of Aly because she’d probably hate it.

I love the way I can unlock it with my thumbprint. I think that’s a lot more secure than pin numbers or passwords. Facial recognition is also an option, but some people do look similar to others whereas no one has our fingerprints.

Anyway, I’m excited about the idea of Aly possibly saving up to come out here in the summer, even if it’s only for a day, or a day and a night. If it’s just her, she can stay on the living room couch if she wants and save on hotels. I’ll even move the animals out of that area for her. It’s unlikely the pigs would start screaming but they do get chatty and the rats get rambunctious at night when they’re playing. I can get her favorite foods for her if we don’t go out to eat. twirls with delight I definitely won’t be in the nude while she’s here like I was in my dream last night, though, lol. I have no idea why, but I was naked as we were chatting. Finally, I thought to ask her if my being naked made her uncomfortable.

I was a little shy and embarrassed by the idea of her seeing just how big and old I’m getting but not only does she not judge her friends by how they look, but everyone gets old and almost everyone gains weight with age. It’s a simple fact of life. Besides, no matter what my age and size, I’m still me. :) The exact age and size I was meant to be. My bigness gives me a sense of confidence and security when out in public, especially when I’m by myself. I don��t have to worry about perverts and shit like that since most people would rather not mess with a nearly 160-pound person even if she doesn’t quite look that heavy because she works out. So, definitely some benefits to being a big girl even though I’d be healthier if I weren’t.

Went for a walk late in the morning after a quick phone call to Dixie. Along the way I heard 2 dogs go off, 2 projects being done, 3 sections being mown and blown, and 2 planes, but it was still a good workout. I’m surprised I only heard a couple of planes.

Did additional research and checked my medical records to see exactly what they say I have, and it’s listed as polycythemia vera which is a rare blood cancer. The red cell blood count and hematocrit are what are most important. The last time I had blood drawn, both were slightly high. Some people don’t have symptoms. The prognosis isn’t nearly as bad as it was years ago, though I still doubt I’ll ever need treatment for it. If I do, I’m probably many years away from that.

Leave it to Santa to put up a snowman balloon that’s taller than his house. It looks cool as do many of the holiday decorations around here. I think he’s the one that’s been sawing so much. With things running and me not in the living room, it’s not so bad, but otherwise it’s a bit annoying as are their dogs, and I hope to hell we never end up next to someone like that who’s always outside doing all kinds of projects like Jesse was.

When Tom got home yesterday, we ran out to Rite Aid for treats. I made sure not to overdo it, and my New Year’s resolution is definitely going to be to give up the glass of wine I often have at the end of my day, and limit my treats to 1 serving, 1 day a week. I know we can make resolutions any time of the year but figure that would be a good time because it’s always harder during the holidays to behave.

Just when we go to kill Netflix, Tom says they added a show he wanted to watch. ROTFL! We still have enough stuff to watch on Hulu, though. I just discovered Criminal Minds: Suspicious Behavior and began watching that. Did I have to hear about race? Well, of course. This time it was more in relation to serial killers not usually changing races along the way as opposed to racism, but still. It’s funny how race/racism always happens to come up in modern shows.

Kind of a lame-looking cast, though. Forest Whitaker is one ugly, creepy-looking guy with that fucked up eye of his. The one who’s partially bald doesn’t look like an actor but more like an ordinary guy you wouldn’t expect to find on TV.

I also had this weird dream of running out of money and not being able to get ahold of Dad, who was still alive. I was living alone and didn’t seem to know Tom. I decided to have some Chinese delivered for dinner and then realized funds were getting low and I probably shouldn’t splurge. Then I began to worry more when I realized Dad never responded to my message about running low on money. I guess I didn’t work or receive any type of benefits.

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 19, 2019 Part of the fatigue I sometimes have could come from the polycythemia IF their diagnosis is correct and I really do have it. According to my research, it isn’t cancer. It’s a mutant gene that causes the body to produce too many red and white blood cells and for the blood to become thicker and flow slower. What’s weird is that one of the symptoms is a burning sensation in the soles of your feet. I’ve had that from time to time but wrote it off to dry skin. I still disagree with this diagnosis but it’s interesting. They don’t know what causes it but it’s rare and not hereditary. Progression and symptoms can vary, and they can be treated with things like aspirin, removing some blood like they do when you donate blood or medication. If I really do have it, it’s highly unlikely to ever be a serious enough issue for me to need treatment. That would be my guess, anyway, based on my research.

Hanging out in the living room yesterday and listening to all kinds of planes and helicopters was a waste of time because FedEx never came. Instead, Tom picked up my phone on his way home from work. At least he didn’t have to go out of the way. It was right down the street from where he works. The phone is now activated but I’m having trouble setting it up and want to wait till he gets home. Can’t wait to take pictures with this thing. A $350 phone ought to look really nice. I can no longer make calls on my cheap LG phone, but it can still do things like Skype and WhatsApp. I’ll only use it to play music when I’m out walking.

I just got back from a half-hour walk, and as usual, I mixed in some jogging. I didn’t bother to take my old phone and play music, though, because I figured it would be a bit hard to hear over the landscaping and planes. Although it was only 50 degrees, it was nice out. The sky was cloudy and the roads were still wet but the winds were calm.

When I was hanging out in the living room yesterday, I saw the park’s ATVs enter the circle six different times. Once they were pulling a small trailer. I didn’t hear any landscaping at the time, so I wonder what they were doing.

He’s still doing a lot of OT but it’s bringing in an extra 90 bucks a day, which we could always use.

I emailed Dixie, telling her I couldn’t call out just yet and asked if she wanted company today, but I haven’t heard back from her. I reread her email and she said something about not being able to get the timesheets in the “portal,” it’s horrible what they’re doing to them, she wrote and told them so.

Still not really sure what she’s talking about, but I think it has to do with Diane. They’re really starting to pressure Dixie into having Diane put in some kind of home somewhere.

Out of the 10 dolls from the Heart for Hearts collection, I like the ones from Laos, Mexico, Afghanistan, and India, and one from the US the best. But I don’t want to spend $200 on all these dolls so I think I’ll just get the one from Laos and a clothes lot. They have lots of clothes for various types of dolls. In one lot I found, there are 10 outfits for $28, and I like each outfit, so I’ll probably get that eventually. Fuck that I’m in my 50s. I love cute, bright, colorful things and I always will. :-)

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 18, 2019 So Trumpty Dumpty is being impeached after all. It’s too bad it’s meaningless, though. Doesn’t mean he’s going to get kicked out of office.

On the treadmill now this cold wet Wednesday, watching a couple of turkeys through the window poking at whatever it is they’re poking at in the middle of the road. We’re gonna have highs in the 50s and 60s and lows in the 40s over the next few days.

So much for thinking the weather and direction of the wind would save me from the planes because I’ve definitely heard plenty of commercials from 5:40 till around 8:30. Now it’s mostly small planes and helicopters.

I still don’t get why I haven’t gotten accustomed to living with noise when it’s all I’ve ever known for most of my life, and each place only gets noisier.

Today I don’t have the luxury of hiding under sound machines because I have to sign for a package. FedEx tried to deliver my new Samsung phone yesterday, but because I just have to live in a noisy neighborhood and am forced to use sound machines to keep from being distracted so much, I never heard anyone come to the door. The rain will probably save me from landscaping sounds today, but I’ll have to deal with the traffic both on the ground and in the sky for now. They said they would attempt to deliver again today between 10:30 and 5:00 and I’m sure that with my shit luck it will be closer to 5:00. Tom said don’t worry if I miss them if they happen to come by when I’m in the bathroom or something because he can always stop by FedEx and pick it up on his way home from work.

Tammy definitely didn’t get the anonymous message I sent shortly after they started shit with me. The bitch is still stuck in my Outlook contacts on my phone and I haven’t figured out how to get rid of her yet. When I noticed this, I realized I input the wrong address. That’s okay, though, because ghosting these assholes is definitely the best way to go. I don’t think they’ll give me any more shit but it’s always best to have all the evidence show that they’re the ones that kept contacting me after I specifically said I didn’t want to go back and forth and not me.

I asked if J could tell me if Stuart, Florida has visited me on one of the writing platforms this month, figuring he’d blow me off or say he couldn’t (wouldn’t) give me that info, but instead I was surprised by him telling me he doesn’t see any such visitor in the last 30 days. If that’s true, it’s a little surprising. I’m also surprised she never emailed me or found a way to obtain our address.

Dixie canceled our plans for me to visit her yesterday because she said something about an opportunity to see a movie and how she really needed a movie at the moment, plus some kind of computer problem. I told her that would be fine because there are other days.

She asked if I wanted to visit later today and I told her today wouldn’t be a good day. Then she said something about asking the people next to her for help because she couldn’t get the “sheets in the portal.” I have no idea what she’s talking about.

My Elula doll arrived yesterday and she’s adorable. The BFI doll clothes do fit but are a little loose in the chest because the BFI’s depict more of a girl in her early teens whereas these dolls are younger and reflect that of a girl between 8-10.

Unfortunately, I had to unpair the new Alexa clock with the remote because the damn thing would make these random ding-dongs every now and then. So far it seems to have helped but it’s only been a day. I like having the clock but hate how it too, has too much bass and sounds muffled just like the last one we got that the drama queen won’t be getting.

Hulu now has an app of its own where we can watch through that instead of a browser and I began watching Cold Squad from the late 90s. Because it’s older, it’s square and grainy but at least back in these days, it wasn’t all about the same old overrated, exaggerated shit you hear relentlessly these days. It’s an okay series so far. They’ve got seven seasons on the site. I’m only on the second episode.

Guess I’ll do a workout vid now. It stopped keeping track of how many of the ones I’d subscribed to that I’ve done, so I’m keeping track by writing them down.

MONDAY, DECEMBER 16, 2019 Ordered a 14in all-vinyl doll named Elula for just $8 yesterday. She’ll arrive tomorrow. I want to see if the BFI doll clothes fit this type of doll. If not, I’ll have a cute doll in a cute outfit. This one has straight blonde hair to the shoulders with bright blue eyes. She wears a pink tunic with gray and white tights. She also has gold glitter shoes and a gold glitter hair bow. She’s from the Glitter Girls collection. The Wellie Wishers are too expensive and average $60. Too much for dolls this size. The Glitter Girls are normally $20. There’s another collection that averages $40 that I like that has dolls from different countries. I like the ones from Laos and India best and may eventually get them. They’re supposed to be able to share clothes.

The cases for the new phone came yesterday and while the glitter one is gorgeous, the beach scene isn’t as sharp and clear as it looked online because it’s actually textured. It’s still nice, though.

We replaced all 10 fluorescent bulbs in the kitchen with LEDs that say they last 44 years. They’re skinnier and super bright. If it wasn’t for the frosted panels in the drop-down ceiling, there would be no way I could stand it.

I might have had a productive weekend, but I sure had a rough night last night. I don’t know if it’s because I overate or if I ate something bad, but I really need to stop the weekend binge eating. I always do it with the idea of getting rid of it all, but I never do because it’s still such a gross thought and bad for the throat.

I felt horrible all night and I’m still a little queasy. Lots of heartburn and nausea. My heartburn is gone now but I’m kind of surprised I didn’t throw up. A part of me wished I would, too.

Because it just had to happen so close to bedtime, I woke up several times and again, there’s no doubt that something up there is cursing my sleep. If it isn’t noise waking me up, it’s shit like this, or I wake up just because. Why is it so important to whatever’s up there that I don’t sleep well? I’ll never be able to answer that one any more than why anything up there might not want me getting all the medication I need.

Two nights ago was my fault. I was dumb enough to turn off the brown noise when I woke up at 7:30. Then at 9, something loud roared by and woke me up.

The planes are back to being horribly annoying as well. The winds have to be heading south in order to shut them up and that just doesn’t happen very often. Later in the week, they should head south again because we’re going to get more rain. For now, it looks like we just hit freezing for the first time this year. Just going out in the 36-degree temperatures yesterday morning to the store was agonizing enough. It’s horribly cold. The thirties are torture for me.

We got rid of Netflix figuring that Hulu, HBO and Prime TV are enough. Netflix was getting really bad with foreign shit. I don’t know why they would think Americans want to sit and watch movies in Japan, Turkey or wherever. The rise in foreign movies is everywhere but at least Hulu has some American crime docs I don’t mind watching. Right now I’m watching Your Worst Nightmare and it’s pretty intense. Watching these things can be depressing and infuriating but it’s also a reminder of just how lucky I am in many ways.

Tom cleaned the hair out of the Roomba’s brush since I noticed it wasn’t picking up much when it would vacuum.

We also set up the new Echo clock and I paired the remote to it.

He was going to unclog the shower screen to up the water pressure since the fucking park clogs it up whenever they play water games with us, but it fixed itself on its own somehow.

When I stepped in the shower yesterday, I noticed it right away and figured he fixed it, but he said that when he was in the middle of showering, all of a sudden, it went back to full pressure. So if it wasn’t the park that fixed it, which I doubt that early in the morning, then whatever was blocking the screen slipped out of the way.

Anyway, due to being both tired and queasy, I told Dixie I would prefer to take it easy today and asked if tomorrow would be a good day to visit, and she said that would be fine.

Although I don’t know what good it will do me, I’ve been praying for both the Florida and Arizona scum not to give me any trouble, but not too hard because I still don’t know that I believe in prayer and I never really had a bad vibe warning me that trouble was ahead to begin with. I don’t even know if the bitch in Arizona even got the message or read it if she did. If she did, she’s already gone to the police, even though it was nothing illegal.

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 15, 2019 Just a quick update saying that I’m excited about our new Samsung Galaxy phones with their much faster processors and other features that will be better than this cheap Android. I can’t wait to see how well pictures turn out since it has more pixels and all that and will be a little bigger.

I also picked out a couple of cases for it. One has glitter that moves about as you tilt the phone and the other is of a beautiful beach dotted with palm trees.

We went to Sam’s yesterday which was more crowded than usual because they’re having these holiday deals where they let everyone in all day long. We have a membership that allows us to shop earlier than most people but thanks to the holidays, they’re kind of screwing everything up and we’ve had to sometimes change when we shop. His stopping on the way home from work last Friday wasn’t an option because he worked so damn late. It actually wasn’t as bad as expected but OMG! The fucking beeping from the forklifts was really annoying. We do most of our shopping in the back corner where the produce and frozen stuff are kept, but most people were up front. It seems they were mostly after giant TVs and storage bins.

In a few hours, we’re going to Walmart as we normally do on Sundays.

I had this weird dream where we were living with Miss Perfect and the queen was still alive, too. Of course, there was Dave as well. Then there was also this guy that was there temporarily, and I couldn’t wait for him to leave because he had a scary Rottweiler. Nonetheless, they all seemed to accept my sleep disorder without question and let me sleep when I needed to.

Aly is a reminder that so many doctors out there don’t know what they’re doing, and it’s scary, too. One doctor told her she simply had indigestion, but she knew something was wrong. So she got a second opinion and they found that she had a bowel obstruction which likely needed surgery but since the worst of it was over and had left her with a mild infection that an antibiotic should clear up, she should be okay from here on out.

She’s likely going to report the other doctor but as I told her, don’t be surprised if it doesn’t do her any good. They’re practically as invincible as cops are.

I thought about not so much as bashing but maybe leaving a 3-star review on Yelp for my GYN in regards to her not doing a biopsy and properly diagnosing and treating me, leaving me to suffer a lot of burning and itching until Amy could diagnose and treat me properly. But that $900 complaint really put a complex on me, and again, what good would it do?

Aly’s moved in with those gay guys again. It’s nice of them to be there for her when she’s between boyfriends but if I said that to her, I know she would be offended and take it the wrong way. I think it’s gotten harder for her, and perhaps embarrassing, to admit she can’t hold a relationship for long and to admit that she moves on rather quickly. I don’t think she’ll move in with someone new in just a month or two, but I’m sure that within a week or two, she’ll at least start having sex with someone that she’ll say she’s taking it slow with. But hey, she’s a grown adult. She has the right to do what she wants. I do wonder, however, if a permanent relationship is meant to be for her. I don’t think it’s her so much as what she’s going for. As I said, if I read Cam’s bio on a dating site, I’d run fast as hell. I think she’s going for guys who want to take a little too much control, but I can’t say for sure without having ever met them and seeing them interact together. She’s got to be doing something wrong somewhere, though, unless it really truly just isn’t meant to be or somewhere in her subconscious, she wants it this way.

Oh, the ease of being straight, though. Had guys been my cup of tea prior to meeting Tom, I can imagine all the fun I might’ve had. But that could also lead to more problems, too.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 13, 2019 I said I was taking full doses of my meds 4 times a week, but it was actually 3. I skipped today and will go back to 3 times a week and stick to that as long as I don’t feel anxious again. If I do, I’ll drop it to twice a week.

Had a very tired day and didn’t work out at all. I don’t think it’s just low thyroid, though, or else I would have fatigue every single day. I think I’m just having one of those days, especially with my sleep getting broken up. I woke up just a few hours after crashing and had trouble falling back asleep. I even took a nap about an hour after I got up the second time, not that it refreshed me in any way.

In case I didn’t say so before, the wrist weights are to wear when I’m doing workout videos.

My new fleece nightie in size medium fits me well and is very comfortable.

Once again, Aly is not living with Cam full-time. She says it’s just better if she doesn’t. I don’t know why her relationships don’t last even if they’re not exactly enemies or anything like that. I don’t know if it’s her or the types of people she’s going for but sometimes I wonder it’s the poor girl is ever meant to be with anyone permanently.

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 12, 2019 I’ve been up for over 10 hours and I’m just now able to relax and enjoy some free time after a very busy but productive night. I worked out, took care of the animals, did some cleaning, and did various odds and ends around the house. Now it’s me-time.

Found that I was down half a pound even though I only ended up walking for about 45 minutes yesterday. I’m not really that surprised because even I can lose a few pounds when I either up my exercise or lower my calories.

I would love to be able to eat like I have been and still maintain my weight only somewhere between 110-120 pounds. But that’s not the way it works, of course. The less we weigh, the fewer calories it takes to maintain that weight. At least I shouldn’t be seeing the 160s anytime soon with all I’ve been doing. Besides, I’m in my comfort zone, what I’m used to, and where my body feels it needs to be.

I made myself a delicious home-cooked meal of a super lean beef patty, home fries, and broccoli with chopped green onions sprinkled on the meat and potatoes. It took about a half-hour to throw it all together, but it was relaxing, and the pigs loved having me hang out in the kitchen with them.

Got a pair of wrist weights that fit perfectly. Not too tight, not too loose. I hated the light blue stretchy ones I got from Denise Austin back in Arizona because they started off too tight and then became too loose. The weights are a pound each and are pink with black trim.

I didn’t do any walking on the treadmill today, but I did a 35-minute low-impact HIIT routine that left me surprisingly sweaty, out of breath and a little fatigued. The instructors kept saying that was normal and they were feeling it too, but it seemed that I shouldn’t be sweating in my bra and panties when the house was 71° and the fan was going. I’m starting to believe I’m never going to stop hot flashing. It’s still not as bad as last year but I’m getting them in bed and when I do physical activity. Unfortunately, I also felt a little anxious earlier tonight and last night, so it’s time to scale back the medication. I think I’m just going to skip altogether tomorrow and just drop back to 3 full doses a week instead of 4. Even though I’ve improved immensely, I’m beginning to think I’m going to experience intermittent anxiety all my life. Especially if I’m right about most of it being connected to this drug which I’m going to need forever.

HASfit has 33 low-impact video routines I’m subscribed to and I love how it keeps track of how many I’ve done. I’ve done the first two so far and it says 2/33.

Got the newest Alexa with the digital clock in it and I love how I never have to set it. If you like it as pitch black as I do when I sleep, it’s only slightly bright but not blinding like the other clock we put layers of cellophane over that I still had to block with a pillow or something. Obviously, when I’m sleeping in the daytime it won’t matter, but if it bugs me at night, all I have to do is rest a spare pillow against it.

I always have her play brown noise at volume 5. I usually have the stereo doing its white noise at 24 decibels in the daytime and 26 at night. I decided to take a chance and drop it to 26 and I slept fine. Not too thrilling in the way of dreams but I’ll get to that in a minute.

I also got the oolong tea I ordered and I’m glad I only got 20 bags because this particular brand tastes kind of weird. I still have some honey so even though that’s a bit fattening, I’ll add some to it.

My new nightgown comes today. It’s a pink floral fleece nightgown similar to the one I got at Goodwill.

When I sat and thought about it, I realized that Jessie is now my longest-running friend. Pretty sure we were both 10 when we met. We’re very different in many ways. She doesn’t agree with abortion. She’s much more mild-mannered and soft-spoken compare to me in some ways. She’s more likely to get scared in situations that would get me pissed off. But she’s never been the selfish judgmental person Andy was, and I do appreciate that much. The only thing I don’t like is the same thing I can complain about with most people I’ve dealt with, and that’s that it was me doing the reconnecting. It was me that looked her up when we lost touch with each other for about a decade or so.

Ah, but things are changing. I’m no longer forgiving compared to most people and I’m not, for example, ever going to contact Christiane again. I have nothing against her personally, but our friendship was just too one-sided. I would only hear from her if I messaged her first. Well, no more of that!

Anyway, Jessie thanked me for her friendship yesterday after I told her I was here for her if she ever needed to chat. She said she wasn’t really sure how she felt at the moment but was going to try to return to work. I guess she still works as an accountant. We don’t talk much given the distance, but Sarah was wrong when she said I no longer had any family. Family, to me, means much more than biology and I can assure you that she and Aly are a lot more like family than my sister and her fucked up brats will ever be.

I swapped emails with Dixie yesterday as well and she told me to recommend one of my books for her to buy. Knowing she’s a bit of a prude, I felt I should warn her that most of my books contain some degree of violence. I suspected that might bother her as well and when I asked her how she felt about it, she said she’s “sick” of violence. Therefore, I told her I didn’t think my books were for her. That’s okay, though, because no one can be everyone’s cup of tea, weird-tasting oolong or not. ;-)

The winds are southerly and again I’m getting a wonderful break from the commercial planes. They were pretty annoying the night before, and I even heard one for the first time just after 4 in the morning. As I may have mentioned before, they’re only a few thousand feet up. It’s sad that some people just don’t give a shit about others, but what can you do?

From the looks of it, I should be able to enjoy tonight and tomorrow morning as well. It’s after 8 now so I expect traffic and landscaping to start up any second.

The dream I had was basically about us going from one rental to another, each one getting noisier. Hopefully, nothing up there is trying to say, “You can move around all you want but you’ll never get any peace.”

I don’t know where we were, but the first place we rented was actually not that bad. It was just a very small, old house. We wanted more space and something newer. The second place was noisy and the third was like OMG! But it’s like it wasn’t even a house or an apartment. Instead, it was almost like we had a room or suite in a building, and we were even on a point system too, like Valleyhead.

I went to bed in the evening. but was woken up by someone blasting their stereo a few hours later. A road of all things ran through the place and one of the staff members told me that it would be repaved between 1 a.m. and 6 a.m., so I knew I wouldn’t be getting any real sleep that night.

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 10, 2019 Good news! Well, anyone that knows me knows that I hate dieting but love working out. Especially walking. I hate stationary bikes, but most forms of exercise make me feel good and I actually enjoy doing them. The exciting thing is that I started keeping track of what I’ve been eating just out of curiosity to see what the calories happened to total when I’m not actively counting them. In doing so I’ve learned that I can have close to 2,000 calories and not gain weight as long as I keep active. :-) It still would be nice if I could stick to 1200 a day AND get results from it if I ever wanted to lose weight, but neither of these things will happen so it’s good that I can at least eat a comfortable amount which is usually between 1500-2000 calories based on my own specific needs and not gain as long as I keep my butt moving. There are many other health benefits besides just how it affects weight.

Because I’ve been slaving myself so hard and my muscles are still a bit sore, I may end up taking the day off except for dusting the place which I just finished doing.

Despite being fat, I love how prominent my shoulder and arm muscles are as well as my upper abs and parts of my legs. When I’m fully clothed you can’t tell because I still do have a decent amount of fat on me, but seeing it in the mirror when I’m not wearing much is a proud reminder of how hard I’ve worked. I don’t look fantastic, but I’ve definitely seen a lot worse for one my age. :-)

Bananas and blueberries are supposed to be best for boosting energy levels, but I’ve never found them to give me more energy. I think OJ does a much better job of perking me up.

In other good news, I finished my book, The Seduction of Suki, and now the proofreading and editing part begins. This is the part that’s harder than writing the book itself.

The only negative thing to report is that apparently, the winds don’t have to just be flowing to the north for the fucking planes to annoy me. They’ve been heading east all night and I can hear the bastards loud and clear. They have to be heading south and possibly west before they go fly over other people’s heads instead of mine.

I just hope the dream I had doesn’t mean anything. I woke up early in the evening after taking a nap. It was dark and Tom wasn’t home. First the electricity was out and when it came on, I stepped into the master bathroom and found the entire ceiling flooded.

Tom said if that happened that would mean there was a big storm and insurance would pay for it, but I would rather this not happen. Not even a little tiny leak.

MONDAY, DECEMBER 9, 2019 Although this new tracker may be more detailed than Fitbit, for me it was a waste of money. For one, it vibrates at random which wakes me up, and I don’t think the step counter is accurate. So I’m not going to bother with it for now.

Last night I did an exercise video that would have been a hell of a lot easier 20 years ago. I struggled through many exercises that would have been much easier when I was lighter. Carrying all this extra weight really limits my physical abilities and makes me feel partially disabled in a way. I try not to let it get to me because I know it’s pointless to get all bothered by what can’t be changed. It’s like with my ear. When it annoys me, I could bitch about it non-stop, but it won’t change a damn thing. Well, neither will all the exercising and dieting in the world change my weight. Not with this bum thyroid and metabolism.

In doing all the research I was doing when my medication was giving me trouble, I learned that I’m far from alone. Many others thought they would lose weight once they began treatment but that’s not usually how it works, so I’ve learned. Age and genetics are still big factors when it comes to stuff like that.

On the positive side, exercise makes me feel better, gives me more energy, helps my joints, is good for my heart, helps prevent diabetes, gives me more endurance, and makes gaining additional weight harder. So it’s not all bad. :-)

He usually does workouts for seniors and I might do that tonight because I’m a little sore today after struggling with yesterday’s workout.

I’ve been totally loving the break from the commercial planes I’ve been getting. When the winds head north as they do most of the time, that’s when they’re a problem. But due to the clouds and rain we’ve been having on and off, the winds have shifted direction and taken the damn planes with them. Still have some small planes and helicopters, though. Not having to have a sound machine on to drown out noise is the way it should be in every home, especially at night! Still need them in the daytime, though, no matter what if I don’t want to hear the daily landscaping sprees, traffic, and whatever projects are going on at the moment.

Might get woken up tomorrow because it’s bulk trash pick-up day. One of the things he put out was a TV he was using as a monitor. The LEDs started going out, leaving dark spots on the screen. He did a factory reset to wipe out any passwords, assuming someone takes it before the trash collectors get it. He didn’t leave the cord or the remote out, though. The remote also works with his current monitor so he wants to keep it as a backup. He left the cord out figuring if someone was going to get something for free, even if it wasn’t in perfect condition, they ought to work for it a bit.

When he got home, he brought a piece of mail from Social Security over to Bob and Virginia that accidentally got put in our box.

Still nothing from the termite which makes me think she lost the address and couldn’t find it online, especially after the way Sarah said she’d send me 80 bucks if I gave her my address, “but I know you won’t.” Just the way she said that made me think they might have lost the address. Why else would you say something like that?

It could also be that the drama queen knows I sometimes pick up the mail and therefore figures her bullshit to him may be intercepted by me. I’ve mentioned picking up the mail numerous times in my journal and saying how I saw so and so along the way or stopped to chat with whoever. She remembers what she wants to remember.

Book sales are down once again and I don’t know if they’re ever going back up. He thinks they will after the first, but I have my doubts. It’s far enough after Thanksgiving and far enough in advance of Christmas that they should still be getting sales and borrows but they’re not.

Had some strange dream that I checked into a hotel. It was nighttime and I was tired. When I entered my room, I found it was occupied even though no one was in it at the time. I went down to the front desk and they didn’t seem to care. It was then that I remembered some reviews I’d read about the place complaining about hookers and how I thought they meant hanging in the area and not occupying people’s rooms. I began to suspect that my roommate was one of those hookers.

The woman at the desk said something about them slipping in and out throughout the night and I knew I couldn’t sleep with some stranger coming and going like that or trust them around my belongings, but I really needed a place to crash for the night. That’s when I decided I would go back up to the room, throw their stuff out, and hook the chain lock on.

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 7, 2019 Jessie’s dad died today. :-( Having met Big Bird a few times at his Connecticut home through my friendship with Jessie, I can say that he was one of the nicest guys you could ever meet. He will be missed by many!

I’ll never forget the three of us ice skating in the winter on one of his ponds, running around his ballroom while being dazzled by the disco ball twirling in the center of the ceiling, and admiring his huge wall a framed portraits of him and many other celebrities. Not everyone got the honor of getting to go to Big Bird’s house. This was just one of his properties, too.

When chatting with him you would never know who he was, but when he started talking in his Big Bird voice, you knew instantly. His wife Debra was a sweetheart as well.

About 30 years ago he gave me a feather from one of his costumes, but someone stole it. I can’t even begin to guess who because I was a lot more sociable in those days and had so many people in and out of my apartment, but I would put my money on either Fran or Brenda. Unfortunately, I no longer have the picture he took of Jessie and me at his place. There are probably other pictures floating around of both of us and the three of us somewhere, but not in my possession.

Gave Jessie my condolences on Facebook who is definitely sad and possibly quite rich now.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 6, 2019 The washer used to play a little song when it would stop or we’d cancel it, but it seems to have stopped doing that for some reason. I still know when a load is done because I can hear the door release pop when it unlocks.

It’s great to know that Ginny’s back to being rented every day, but I’m definitely not going to make the royalties I made last month, thanks to the holidays. Maybe next month.

That’s weird. I looked in on Doc O for the first time in a while and it says she has 11 friends. I’ve got her son blocked but I’m still only seeing 7. Where are the other 3 that I should be able to see?

The fish didn’t bite on the entry I made to see if the termites are reading me. I told people they could ask me questions anonymously on Curious Cat and I may use them whenever I get a writing prompt that doesn’t pertain to me. Next year I’m going to be doing a daily writing prompt challenge, but some of them may not apply to me. I figured that if any of the termites were reading, they would happily let me know it on CC, but I didn’t get a single question, so I deleted the entry.

I was talking with a buddy about how much of an online presence I have and what’s easy to look up and what’s not. Right now I don’t have much of a digital presence other than my books. I can keep from sharing the link but that can’t keep it from being googled. I should have used a pen name but it’s a little late for that. It isn’t just about people getting pissed at me for whatever reason and then running to bash my books, but I also don’t want anyone that we may possibly do business with in the future to be able to learn that much about me personally from my journal. Most of the country supports illegals and believes they should be left alone. ICE is seen as evil as ISIS. I will never understand why what with the proven negative facts of ignoring illegals, and it’s okay if most people disagree with me. That’s not the problem. The problem is if someone learns of my opinion, disagrees with it, and then won’t sell or rent us a place or give him a job because of it. I’m really hoping we can somehow “sample” Florida before we buy a place there to see how it may affect my health in that kind of climate. A few days and even a few weeks may not be enough to tell me. It took six weeks for Simone to get me so I would want to spend a few months there first. If there’s a problem, we’ll likely head back out west to somewhere in New Mexico.

So that’s the basic reason for my becoming more private. What others know may hurt you. If you’re a friend then I don’t care what you learn about me be it through me or because you looked it up, not that everything we look up is accurate.

I swear Aly’s the only one I know that I wouldn’t have to worry about if she lived right next door. Meaning, she could move in one day and decide the next she hated my guts and I’d never have to worry about her messing with me like the termite and its offspring. Thank fucking God we never moved to Stuart!

I’m getting over what I would describe as a very half-assed cold. The day before yesterday I had a scratchy throat and yesterday I was very fatigued. The kind of fatigue associated with a cold. Tom said I felt a bit warm, too. It’s like it barely set in, though. I didn’t have most of the symptoms one usually has with a cold, thanks to my kick-ass immune system.

Today was a beautiful day of 64° but I didn’t get out for a walk. I got up later and had to catch up on things. By then it was windy and threatening to rain. I walked on the treadmill in spurts and did a video. I had no energy to work out yesterday and again I can’t help but feel like something is trying to interfere with me working out though I can’t imagine why if that’s true. I could work out for an hour or two every day, eat next to nothing, and still not lose a pound. It just makes me stronger and gives me more energy and endurance.

As most people do at this time of year, I’ve been eating too much and not nearly as healthy as usual. Although I don’t usually set New Year’s resolutions since very few people can stick to them and these goals can be set any time of the year, and diets don’t do me any good, I am definitely going to make a point of eating more unprocessed foods and less of it, too. Tom isn’t 80 yet. When he hits 80, we’ll only have so many years left and that’s when I’ll just eat whatever whenever. So, 18 more years!

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 4, 2019 Having a cold, wet, rainy birthday and not at all happy to have an unlucky 4 in my age once again. Trying not to think of the endless possibilities of what could go wrong over the next year.

At least book sales are back! Well, I actually got a borrow and was relieved to find it was in the UK, making it less likely the drama queen and her twisted offspring are going to bash me again. They’ve read 71 pages so far but it’s past midnight there, so hopefully they’ll continue tomorrow. I found that if they get over 35 pages, they’re likely to read the whole thing.

Since Termite Tammy slammed me, I realize she lied to me all along. She would claim she had no time for reading, which I always thought was a bit odd since she was always a reader. But she proved she not only has KU, but she could have helped promote me all along, even if she didn’t actually read much of my books.

Noticed my tracker wasn’t counting all my steps when I would be on the treadmill with both hands on the tray or walking with my hands in my pockets or carrying something, so I decided to put it around my ankle. So I didn’t spend the first two days as lazy as I thought I did! After all, I did walk a half-hour yesterday even if I didn’t do much else. I was surprised that it can still tell my HR and oxygen levels from my ankle. I’ll still sleep with it on my wrist but it’s definitely more comfortable around my ankle. Imagine if I went out in public with it there? People would wonder if it was one of those ankle monitors parolees wear, LOL. It’s actually more comfortable around my ankle. It irritates the skin on my wrist for some reason.

I took screenshots of the app to show Aly. Personally, I find it to be much more detailed than Fitbit and it syncs so much easier, too. She said she would switch if the Fitbit community and its challenges weren’t so important to her.

Glad to learn Kamala Harris is dropping out of the presidential race. She was too biased. I liked her at first but quickly came to realize she was mostly focused on fellow blacks and not Americans as a whole.

A cyber-friend was saying how we’d get ahead in life if we paid attention to what was going on right in front of us for once instead of obsessing over other countries, and I agree. If an individual wants to support outsiders rather than those in their own backyard - fine - let them. But our tax dollars should go for our own needs. Not those in other countries. Pretty pathetic that we pay taxes for foreigners, illegals, and those in other countries. Meanwhile, who pays us?

I only remember bits and pieces of last night’s dreams which, for the most part, didn’t make sense. But there was an underlying sense of us getting ready to move even if it didn’t look like we were moving from this house. That and the fact that there was some woman who appeared to work for us doing whatever is also a good sign that things may be better financially, not that they’re bad at the moment.

Oh wow. Tom just got home a little while ago and said I must still be psychic because while he didn’t get a raise, his company was sold to a new company that obviously believes there’s a future in it. Also, his name is now known for having a huge part in some huge projects which certainly can’t hurt. I was a little concerned to learn it was an American company that bought it for fear of him losing his European benefits which are way better than American benefits, but he should be grandfathered in. American benefits will probably apply to newbies only.

We didn’t talk long because he had to jump on his work computer for his Wednesday evening work meeting.

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 3, 2019 So Monday came and went, the day the drama queen sister promised to call the pigs if we didn’t call her by Sunday. Or make that if he didn’t call by Sunday.

Geez, you crazy bitch, I’d say they weren’t so eager to see me after all… IF you really even called them.

As I had told Tom, legal problems were never my concern. I knew I’d done nothing wrong. My concern was her pulling some crazy shit like calling the cops and saying she heard I was going to harm myself or someone else, insisting they get over here quickly, me being asleep when they came to the door, and then them kicking the door down.

But then he reminded me about swatting and how some innocent people got killed over a prank gone wrong, which has made the cops extra cautious when someone demands they go running to someone’s place for some reason.

Had a dream he came home all excited and told me he got a $1 raise. I have a strong feeling that this means something good, too. :-)

All my current devices now have lock screens. It’s so unlikely they’d ever be stolen but one can never be too cautious.

Went through the flower jewelry box that sits on my dresser, organized it and got rid of old shit I haven’t used in years and likely never will again.

I was deciding whether or not to finish my story, due to the lack of sales causing my motivation to drop, and the fact that it’s going to be pretty short. A little too short. Then an idea hit me. Instead of not bothering to publish the handful of short stories I have, maybe I can publish them as a collection. It’s something I’ll have to think about. Then again, I just checked and Kinky Katrina is published by itself with 30 pages while Suki’s story has already beaten that by two pages and isn’t even done.

My legs are still sore, so no vids for me today either, but I’ll go hit the treadmill now.

MONDAY, DECEMBER 2, 2019 OK, maybe I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t resist leaving the following in public on PB. Will sister dearest and her crazy brood see it? Hmm…no clue to be honest.

I didn’t actually listen to them, but I read the transcripts from some pretty vicious voice messages I received, and even with the errors in them, I got the gist of what was being said. There were no transcripts or audio for the restricted calls before I blocked those.

LMAO at the thought of recording some threatening voice messages I still have on my phone and sharing them on Facebook and elsewhere. I’ll leave that as a last resort for now as I prefer to act my age and not go on some vindictive rampage simply because someone said something that pissed me off that I didn’t want to hear. I’ve moved on. If they haven’t, that’s on them. It’s OK to be angry. It’s OK to disagree. It’s not OK to stalk, harass and threaten. These narcissistic, vengeful lunatics I never should have allowed back into my life don’t get that, though.

Unless provoked into action, I prefer to be the mature one and just not have anything to do with those I don’t get along with. But what I actually do depends on them. If they give me peace, they’ll get peace in return.

Kinda funny that they think I’m dumb enough to be convinced that IF they went to the cops, the cops would wait to see if I contact them as they demanded. If I’d broken any laws, they’d tell them to stay out of it, let them take over, and they’d have contacted me by now if they thought they had a case against me. And all because of the record they think I have that I, in fact, don’t what with the prank phone calls from a million years ago in MA being expunged and me being vindicated 20 years ago in AZ.

Furthermore, statements are rarely given over the phone. Occasionally, video statements will be made but that’s usually reserved for minors involved in sex cases. If they thought I would fall for that one, then that shows they’re even dumber than I gave them credit for.

And why the obsession with reaching my husband? Did they think we don’t keep each other informed on what’s going on? Did they think he would believe their lies and side with them?

Funny how they say I didn’t have the balls to call back when the reason I didn’t was that there was nothing more to say. I’d gotten some things off my chest, shared my feelings, said I didn’t want to go back and forth, that this would be it, and I kept my word. What would have been the point in arguing until we were blue in the face when we could never see eye-to-eye? Don’t we all have better things to do?

Yeah, time for them to grow up, wake up, and smarten up, I would think. I’m smarter than any of them will ever be, and when I don’t know something off the top of my head, well, Google’s a wonderful thing. But hey, these are people who can barely even write. Their spelling, grammar and improper use of punctuation are ferocious.

Holding onto so much hate and anger only reflects badly on them and is detrimental to their health and psyche, but again, it’s on them. I knew these people were aggressive, had tempers, and were overly sensitive, emotional and vindictive. Hell, one even tried to enlist us to spite their own kid by finding their workplace to report them for what they believed was an abuse of Worker’s Comp. But I didn’t know they were literally crazy till recently. The sudden and surprise reference to porn told me that. Did they pull that out of thin air in the heat of the moment because they were pissed? Or did they get this idea from someone else?

This should have been a real eye-opener for me as well as what was done to me. How I didn’t see things clearly a long time ago is beyond me. Maybe I just didn’t want to. They have no resources, they have no money, they have no health, and sadly, they have no life.

They lose. I win. None of them will ever contact me again (and if they do any and all contact will be logged as evidence along with the fact that I had to change my number due to the harassment and threats) because they’re not welcomed in my life now or in the future and they will never be mentioned here again. I won’t wish them good luck. I won’t wish them bad luck. Why? Because I’ve become as indifferent to them as I am to some stranger in the next town I don’t even know. I don’t even feel the shame and embarrassment I have felt for them. I’ve gone numb. And now they shall all be filed nice and neatly in the past chapters of my life, stored as nothing but an unpleasant memory and never allowed to re-enter my life ever again.

Tata!

It’s the middle of the afternoon yet it looks like dawn or twilight. It’s been very cold, cloudy and wet these last few days. I’m so tired today even though my tracker says I slept well and for my usual 8 hours.

However, it wasn’t without a nightmare. The nightmare didn’t cause me to be worried about anything going wrong in my life because of the nature of it. I was in a darkened house with some woman when I heard these strange sounds and was terrified. I called out to the woman, but she didn’t answer and I feared the worst. I jumped up and ran to her bedroom and found her lying on her back as still and silent as a log. I screamed her name, whatever that was, and slapped at her, but I knew she was dead.

Like I said, the two most important things are this… I did nothing wrong and I refuse to be anyone’s victim ever again. You can hate me all you want, and you can be pissed as hell and disagree with everything I ever said, thought or believed. But you cannot and will not victimize me.

Tammy knows exactly how I feel about the police and how I’ve come to have little trust and faith in them not just because of what happened to me but because of so many other cases I’ve heard about involving corruption and brutality. She used legal threats as a weapon against me simply because she was pissed off by my group message. The goal was to scare me into calling so she could let me have it or at least cry on his shoulder. Regardless, my message was perfectly legal and I had every right to send it. If we couldn’t say anything anyone perceived as negative, then leaving bad reviews on Yelp would be illegal.

What I don’t get is her obsession to reach Tom. Everyone wants to get a hold of Tom when they get pissed at his wife, LOL. The psycho that sold us the previous round of rats was determined to reach out to him as well. I think it’s just because he’s so easygoing and soft-spoken that he comes across as easy to persuade into siding with them.

When Tom made the mistake of calling Tammy 20 years ago when she sent him a letter threatening legal action against me for threatening her abusive ex, he probably didn’t say much knowing him, thus giving her the wrong idea. All he told me was that he told her we shouldn’t have anything to do with each other. I’m sure he said that, but he probably came off as if he was on her side as opposed to defending me because that’s just the way he is.

Even though she gave me “permission” to be on the line when they spoke (by yesterday as she promised), she probably believes he doesn’t know what’s going on and that when she fills him in, he’ll automatically believe her bullshit version and somehow be turned against me.

Yeah, that’s going to happen really easily after being together for more than a quarter of a century.

But what about her husband? Does he know what’s going on? Does he encourage or at least support her trolling and threatening me if he does? Or does he try to encourage her to move on?

When I was on the treadmill, I forgot to let my left arm dangle while I worked the mouse with my right hand and that may have caused it not to count all my steps. I put it on my ankle during my last walk and it counted them that time. Definitely not going to get 10,000 steps in today any more than I did yesterday. I just don’t have the energy. I’ll walk on my treadmill for a half-hour, but I’m definitely going to skip doing a workout video because the backs of my thighs are sore from yesterday’s video. I’ll just work my core a bit to keep the backaches away.

I’m both cold and tired today. A combination of the weather and low thyroid, I suppose. I’ll take full doses every day just as soon as something up there will let me. Until it gets sick of getting off on the anxiety games and actually wanting me to be low on thyroid, this is the way it has to be. If there’s nothing up there that’s got a hand in this, then I guess all I can do is hope I one day happen to be able to take full doses every day without anxiety. I think it’s unlikely I ever will, though. Tom thinks I will, but I think that if there’s truly something in the medication making me feel anxious, as there certainly seems to be, why would I ever get used to it if I haven’t yet? Not all side effects go away. So whatever is in it that makes me anxious is likely to always do so when the levels get high enough in my system.

Book sales are down. It’s almost as if the drama queen’s review still remains visible to everyone but me. I really hope last month wasn’t just a fluke and that I’m back to sales and borrows real soon.

Been watching The First 48 Hours Presents: Homicide Squad Atlanta and what a scummy city. One thug was dumb enough to commit murder where there were cameras everywhere. He slammed some girl against the wall and started punching her and then you could see her fight back. I don’t know if the guy underestimated her or what but when he realized he was going to lose the fight, he whipped out a gun and shot her dead in cold blood.

I was going to post this a few hours ago but got sidetracked. When he got in, we ran out to Rite Aid. I hadn’t been having much fruit lately and was craving OJ. I have the chills and felt run down in a way that one with a cold does, but I don’t feel like I have a cold. I have a pretty kick-ass immune system and rarely get sick. I think I was just feeling that way due to not eating very healthily over our mini-vacation.

I’m on my third serving of OJ right now. I wouldn’t let myself get any sweets because I don’t want to be sugar crashing, but I got some gum and chips. Baked lentil chips with less sodium are actually pretty good.

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 1, 2019 Things are going great and Winnie is now just about completely configured and set up. There are only one or two features I’m missing that I’m unable to have on it. I’m getting the hang of how it works and used to things. There are some features I actually like better.

They said this computer came with Wi-Fi, but it didn’t. We decided it wasn’t worth sending back because we wanted a faster one than what it was supposed to come with anyway, so we ordered one. Some sites naturally run slow and there’s not much you can do about that, but it is much perkier in general. I can now enter tons of sweeps much faster than I could on the Mac. I entered about 50 sweeps last night that was about to expire. Things are definitely much snappier!

Although Netflix has a convenient app on this computer, so you don’t have to watch in a browser, we’re probably going to dump Netflix for a while and just keep Hulu a little longer. Everything is foreign stuff or documentaries/reality shows and it gets old.

Barely two days with an easier setup for working out and just what I feared would happen ended up happening yesterday. Some asshole crashed over the speed bump at 6 in the morning which left me with just 5 hours of sleep and too tired to work out. I would have slept two or three more hours. I slept nearly twice as long last night to make up for it and definitely have more energy today.

Didn’t hear the loud car yesterday but I heard it the day before. On Friday, the fire and water damage people were working on Lawrence’s place again, but it was just one van that day and it was in front of his place. Not between our places. As Tom pointed out and as I should have realized, he doesn’t have a leaky roof otherwise they would replace the roof before fixing the water damage. It was probably a pipe that broke and leaked.

It’s been cold and wet, but I love the sound of the rain and how quiet it keeps things.

Our new fitness trackers came yesterday, and they seem to work well and be quite informative compared to Fitbit except for when it comes to the blood pressure checker. That much is pretty worthless without being able to squeeze the arm or wrist. Trust me, I don’t have perfect blood pressure!

His is a bit defective and has trouble connecting to the mobile app. I tease him about the reason being that there’s a 4 in his device number.

We were laughing because of the different terms for the different weight levels. I’m a plumpy and he’s a fatty. I know some people would get offended by these terms but we’re okay with them because no matter what labels you may put on things, the same shit is always going to be underneath no matter what.

Because I couldn’t lose weight even if you starved me, my only real goal is to not gain anymore and so far I’m holding steady as long as I keep active. I’m at the point in life where weight loss isn’t my goal as opposed to keeping active and as healthy as possible. If I eat healthy at least 80% of the time, that’s good enough for me.

The thing has a step counter and a calorie tracker, but the calorie tracker works differently than Fitbit. This one records what you burn during activity rather than as a whole.

It also has an ECG, oxygen reader and different timers. It looks for sleep apnea as well, which neither of us has. I told it to share my health info with WhatsApp and Facebook, but I don’t see anything there.

Today we worked out together and I was on the treadmill for a while as well. The highest my HR went was 120 but I’ve only done low-impact stuff so far today.

I slept “very good” and deeply for 6 of the 9 hours I slept.

We’re going to wait until Monday to order, just in case there are any deals that day we want to take advantage of, but we’re getting these shoelaces that snap rather than tie. I’m not sure how they work until we actually get them, but they look cool and come with 4 pairs. He can have the gray and black and I’ll take the pink and green laces for my two pairs of running shoes.

I keep forgetting that Prosebox isn’t all or nothing. I can choose to set each individual entry at different security levels. So I decided to keep my old friends updated there from time to time but I can’t allow for comments because there are too many spammers about these days on seemingly every site in the world. Only generic stuff will be mentioned, of course. I coded the entries with trackers to see if it picks up any termites, but just because I can’t see them doesn’t mean they’re not there.

My nails are back to looking shitty and I still can’t figure out why. As my doctor verified, it doesn’t appear to be any kind of fungus or infection, but it does get worse the more I polish my nails. The question is why now? I’ve been obsessed with polishing my nails all my life. I also have one nail that appears to be lifting from the nailbed. He’s had that before, too.

[purplesurveys]

1875

bonesofivory All questions from the Loaded Questions game

For what one thing would you like to have a monthly subscription or membership? Weverse would be the best if they start a content subscription that would just let me watch all the K-pop content whenever. Like having their own Netflix.

What is the key to success? I don't think there is one, and if there should be one. Everyone's interpretation of success is different and for me that means it would be hard to determine a One Thing that would automatically lead to it for everyone.

What is something you would only do in the privacy of your own home? Not sure if there's anything. There's places like hotels that are meant to make you feel at home, and I've def maximized that invitation.

What is something you find hard to stop doing once you start? Daydreaming, especially if I've identified a scenario I get invested in.

What could you buy for your home to make it more impressive? I'd personally get a gate.

What nickname would you choose for the current President? Nepo Baby.

What yard sign would you proudly display in front of your house? Maybe something praising how handsome our dogs are and that they are friendly and love to be pet too, haha.

What do you think about most often? I've been ultra-focused on work and what I can do for my teammates to be a better director for them. At 8 months I still consider myself new to the role and Bea set such a high standard, so I feel like it's something I will always be insecure about.

What is the strangest thing you have ever typed into a search engine? I'm sure I've typed some very unique questions but nothing comes to mind at the moment.

If you were suddenly lose everything, what would you do next? Look for a place to live so that we can at least start again somehow and have a place to stay while we think of what to do next.

If you could invent a better way to do something, what would it be? A process that can help ensure that concert tickets go to deserving fans, lol.

What do you think is humanity’s greatest achievement? Being able to explore outer space and find out how to compute for the universe's history and likely fate.

What activity can you do for a long time without being bored? Anything to do with BTS tbh.

What is the saddest way you could spend Valentine’s Day? Being actively bitter about it. It's really no big deal.

What job would you gladly do for free? None. Pay me hahaha.

What organization would definitely never have you as a member? Anything religious.

If you had to be on a stage doing one thing in front of a million people, what would it be? Walking off it. Being in front of a million people is a no thanks for me lol.

What is something you realized recently while looking in the mirror? That I currently have a pimple in the middle of my forehead.

What is the most obvious trait or feature you inherited from one of your parents? My tendency to over-panic, from my mom.

What word just came to mind? Dysfunctional, as the last question made me think of my family.

If you made all the rules, what one thing would be free for everyone? Education.

What would instantly ruin a neighborhood? Any sort of extremist.

What is something you pretended to like? Comic books.

What could entertain you for hours? BTS.

What makes you want to puke? Really strong body odor.

What is the main ingredient in your recipe for disaster? A flat tire.

If you had to pick one thing to be allergic to, what would it be? Unreasonable clients, so I can have a valid excuse to get away from them.

What about you is pretty close to perfect? Nothing.

During what activity do people look the least attractive? Idk, I'd go with puking.

What historical event would you most like to have witnessed? Apollo 11.

What subject makes you say, “Don’t get me started”? Beyonce not winning AOTY for either Lemonade or Renaissance.

What would you purposely leave off a resume? A photo.

If you had to be the world’s worst at something, what would you choose? Worst at following her budget...

If your home had a secret passageway, where would it lead? To another country.

What one moment in your life do you wish you had on video? Meeting Angela in Grade 1.

If Halloween was every day and you could not change costumes, what would you be? Rachel Green.

[mammonswhore]

Heyo! How would the Obey Me brothers react to MC being a teenager/younger gen Z? Like, the paper-work got mixed up somehow, and said they were like 26, when they were actually like 16? Also (you don't have to include this), what if the teen MC was actually really interested in demons and angles before coming to devildom, so they're really nervous, but also really excited? If you don't wanna do it, that's fine tho :) Have a great day/night!

I love this prompt! Have a great day too,love🖤

Brothers reaction to MC being a Gen Z teen. (Platonic)

✒Lucifer.

He can already picture himself struggling with you.

Six brothers to take care of + a TEEN? Man is about to loose it.

If you are an introverted he will like you automatically and feel relieved that you will not always get into his brothers shenanigans.

If you are an extroverted (or just a curious one tbh) he will keep an eye on you 24/7 so you won't get into Mammon schemes or Satan's nerves and get yourself in trouble.

Really amused if you like demons and angels, will curse himself for misreading but will not hate himself too much since you are not that scared.

Gets tired of you quickly if you make too many questions and will always send you to ask Mammon or if it's something that he doesn't know himself he will ask Diavolo and tell you later but he will (of course) act all high and mighty as if he already knew the answer to such question.

Will practically adopt you and spoil you a lot because hes is big brother.

Overprotective. Oh you met a lesser demon and you want to go on a date with them? Haha he won't let you.

You will be the only person who gets in trouble and leaves with just a warning.

Also you are totally his soft spot. Man can't resist your sad face and will do anything to make you happy even if he doesn't like to admit that.

Totally lost when it comes to TikTok/memes references and will ask about it a lot.

✒Mammon

He is amazing. Not only does whatever you ask him to but also has the best ways to get you out of boredom.

He will teach you how to scam people and how to be a good thief even if you don't need it or want it.

Teaches you about demons and angels without even knowing. Sometimes he drops random facts but it's not until he realizes you write down what he says that he stops doing it just to hear you ask him things so he can act all smug and smart.

If someone breaks your heart he will be ready to throw hands,no one hurts their little siblings.

Like Lucifer,he adopted you and always claims to be "the one you choose to be with you first" making sure his brothers hear him.

He will help you make your homework. Even if he doesn't understand he will try his best.

Please refer to him sometimes as "big brother" he will die.

When he saves your ass from getting killed by lesser demons he will be ready to receive the biggest hug ever and is absolutely ready to be praised.

If he saves you and you say "thanks,big brother" now you have a problem. He will brag about it for a week (at least).

Will steal things from you to keep them with him when he is going thru an episode. It reminds him that someone thinks of him as worthy and love deserving.

Will die for you,you are not only family now but his favorite person.

Will compliment you in the best brotherhood way he can "looking good today,kid", "your hair looks nice,brat" and "You are the best looking sibling after me of course" are his go to compliments. Mostly does it because you compliment him back and because he knows his comments make you feel closer to him and boy loves it.

✒Levi

If you are an introvert like him you can expect him to go out of his room more often just to see you or talk to you.

If you are not he will try to make you an indoors person but if he can't he is might be willing to take a risk and go out once a week but just to the manga store and back,don't expect more,normie.

If you like any thing he likes he will try to test you and prove he is better than you,he doesn't give a fuck you are practically a child he can't loose.

If he wins he will be very happy and more open to you to open up with some things.

If he doesn't win he will cry when he is alone and call himself an ugly unworthy idiot who can't even be considered an otaku but relax my dude,MC will go to you and reassure you you know better than them and that they will love to hear what you have to say (even if they don't mean it,they love you and will love to see you happy again).

Knows the basics about demons and angels so he is not the best to go to if you have too many questions. That's the only time he will let his envy go away and tell you to go to Satan or Lucifer since they know more than him.

He does not takes his duty as a big brother as something serious since Lucifer is always there but if you call him "big brother" he is going to take that role serious but for you and you only.

Will 100% find siblings cosplays and gets you to do it with him.

If you ever said something like "I'm lucky that my big brother is also my best friend" he might tear up a little since he has never been considered someone's best friend ever.

If any of his brothers try to get you to call him "big brother" he will go on a rampage unless it's Lucifer. Boy is envious not dumb.

If it was Lucifer he will go to him later and ask you if he can stop trying to get you to call him that way because that's they way you call him and it makes him feel special. Lucifer will probably agree because he knows Levi doesn't feel special often so he might give in; if he doesn't Levi will start an argument and won't stop until Lucifer cuts him off or agrees.

Keep calling him big brother, he adores it.

✒Satan

As grumpy as he is,he loves to have yo by his side. Not because he loves company but because he likes to be able to answer all your questions.

Ask him anything about demons or angels and he knows it,fuck he is smart.

Will get you a notebook so you can write what he says and will give you books to read as "extra homework" it's kind of a bad deal if you think of it but it's his way to show love.

The only person who calls him "big brother" often is Asmo and got used to it coming from him and him only. If he hears you calling him that way he will probably jump out of happiness when he is alone but for know he will just answer to that name name and act like nothing happened.

You don't want to do your homework? Fine you can copy mine but just this once.

If you struggle with anything he will solve it for you,no cap.

He will get you cat themed items like pencils, notebooks,necklaces or rings.

Matching is a must. Not because he likes the concept of being associated with a part of someone but because he will love to brag with his brothers obviously.

Will definitely get mad if you ask any type of demon/angel related thing to others.

Names a cat after you but it's the cats middle name so he won't get mocked. Won't tell you tho.

Very very protective but good at hiding it. He might be following you down the street but you wouldn't even know. Kinda creepy? Yes. Have you ever got eaten? Nope.

✒Asmo

Yes! Exactly what he was waiting for.

You are part of his experiments. You don't like makeup? Well now you do. What type of clothes do you have? Do you have an aesthetic? No? Well now you do.

He is always there when you need him to. Best of them all to give advise when needed.

Definitely will be annoyed by all of your questions but will try to be as gentle as possible to tell you that.

Can help you to become really good at comebacks,believe him he knows best than anyone.

He is the one making sure you are educated when comes to sex. Simple but worthy lessons such as "sex is about experimenting and finding what you really like but you always need your partners consent" or "always have a safe word,even when you have vanilla type of sex" or the best one yet "if they want to fuck with you that's fine but always remember to use protection because I will not like to see you having a child so young or having an abortion" because yeah that's what big brothers do.

If you hit him with the "you are the best,big brother" he will jump into your arms and say that he knows he is the best but that hearing that was way too magical,do it again!

He is very aware of insecurities and will try to be the shoulder you cry on if you need to,he is always there to wipe of your tears (or wipe off the ones who hurt you).

Not as protective as the others but keeps an eye on you because your curiosity might hurt you.

Will be crushed if he sees you suffering from the most minimal thing. That lipstick does not fit your skin color? Fuck that lipstick! We are getting new ones,go get Lucifers card!

Spoils you way more than any other because he wants to create a brat. He needs to have someone like you who will cling into Lucifer and beg him to let you do dumb things because you know Lucifer can't say no to you. He needs your power and is not afraid to tell you that

Constant reassurance. He always calls you by cute nicknames and as long as you call him "my beautiful big brother" every time he is amused.

✒Beel

Baby is ready to give you life lessons. Don't stab anyone,drink enough water and be patient with the ones you love.

Yes,he learned the "don't stab anyone" from talking to Belphie.

Is very lost when it comes to you being so interested in demons and angels because he is not used to be the one answering the questions but making them. Bare with him, he is trying to get a good answer.

Will ask for advice on how to answer you, probably goes to Lucifer but mostly Belphie.

Soon you two start doing things together that involve learning from humans and angels. Maybe you are walking down the street working out and when you both start chatting about demon life and suddenly everything stops.

Beel is clueless when it comes to comforting someone about an insecuritie since he was the one being comforted most of the times but will give you space if you need to or do whatever you feel comfy with.

If you call him "big brother" he will hug you like no one has ever hugged you before. Teddy bear hugs are a must now.

Will die for you and is not afraid of telling you such. "MC I will die for you" "whAt?" "As your big brother I may protect you with my life" "Please don't."

Tells you how much he wants you to be happy and constantly asks if you have any type of dreams or goals.

If you do have goals or dreams he will encourage you to go get it. Beel is there to support you no matter what.

✒Belphie.

Absolutely fucking not.

Why is everyone spoiling this stupid brat and not me? I hate them.

But hold on there,he doesn't completely hates you he just hates the attention you get.

If you go to him with a soft attitude and ask him if you can nap together he will say yes and will enjoy the moment a lot .

He has never been someone's big brother so it kinda hits him if you call him like that and will try to act confident and smug about it but it's kinda terrified.

What if he doesn't catch up on the big brother thing and fucks up? He doesn't want to disappoint you or make you feel awkward. So he copies his big brother and tries his best,believe me he does.

You need help with something? Ugh well I will help but you owe me one (you don't owe him anything really,he just doesn't wants to be seen as soft for you). Oh did someone caused you problems? No biggie,I will take care of it.

Spoiler alert: he is very overprotective with you,he doesn't want to lose you.

[ocdhuacheng]

i get that people genderbend male character to be female in mxtx stories (esp if those ppl are wlw) because the majority of characters are male and it is focused on mlm content. so i support wlw simping over cool necromancer lesbians you go girlies, but in general i tend to stay away from genderbend stuff because sooooo much of it is made by cis ppl and it can be a bit transphobic? it also a lot of the times falls into the cishet gender stereotype shit of "women big boobie slim waist small big lips big eyes, men big buff strong macho 8 pack square" which is! oh no cringe!

yeah EXACTLY like my thoughts too. bc the vast majority of genderbending made by cis ppl really is just. like you said. biological gender stereotype shit. i feel like most trans people i see are made pretty uncomfortable by this, and i can totally see why, so i am too. but at the same time i DO understand wlw who want more content with girls/wlw characters esp when there are so few to begin with. so like im kinda willing to give wlw the benefit of the doubt in this case even though i dont rly like to interact with it myself. but also, my beloved sisters in christ... baihe exists

the only genderbending ill really interact with is works with sqx, he xuan*, and hua cheng like since theyre the ones that are shown to or mentioned to change gender in canon. (ling wen too, tho tbh i dont rly care about male!ling wen lmfao, just for the sole reason that, well. i am a lesbian. tho i do have to say the lore behind her male form is actually rather compelling and i think if mxtx were more skilled and open to writing analysis about gender, it could lead to a very thoughtful and nuanced discussion of how ling wen views herself, rather than just if she looks like a cis woman shes a woman if she looks like a cis man shes a man. because iirc she only shapeshifted to get the extra power she had in her male form? that doesnt mean that she is now a man, but in those scenes the book automatically refers to her as such. would love an extra about ling wen's self image and gender. but no, we had to get the statue sex and weird underage amnesia stuff 🙄)

BUT ANYWAY like idk if it really counts as genderbending in tgcf's case? but either way i know mxtx made that ~gods and ghosts can change gender at will~ thing just as a haha comedic relief thing like i think them having the power to do that is totally cool but i do not think it was done respectfully at all, especially with sqx, since mxtx kind of either intentionally or not sends the message (at least to me) that you can only be trans if you pass as cis. ive said it a million times before and ill say it again but the way sqx is never referred to as a woman (by the characters, the narrative, and even THEMSELF) after they lose the ability to LOOK like a cis woman is so so infuriating to me. like theyre not going to just STOP being genderfluid/trans just bc they cant change their appearance. and also not to mention throughout the book they were just kinda treated as being silly and immature for wanting to change their gender in the first place, so, another win for transphobia i guess. though i can appreciate having a canon trans/genderfluid character, they definitely could have been written better in that regard

*while i love fem!he xuan... it did leave a kinda dirty taste in my mouth when mxtx had to make sure we knew that he xuan only did it to appease sqx, and actually hated being a woman. and the way it was talked about too like 'oh he was forced to be in a womans body so OF COURSE he was super pissed the entire time' like i cant explain it but it was just kind of upsetting. kinda transphobic and misogynist. one might even say,..... transmisogynist 🤔

this answer kinda ended up going on a tangent but yea lol thanks for the ask ^^

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Hiiii!!! 💫💕🌸🥳

Can I bother with a question... I was (re)watching that zhang qiling edit (not today) - 'cause it's so cool, btw- and I wondered if Reboot Xiaoge’s your favourite one...? And if you're up to answering, what do you think about the other adaptations? Especially (our small bean) xiao yuliang's interpretation of xiaoge?

🤗🌺💐🐰💕

Hey, my precious patootie hehe ILY it always makes me very happy knowing that you rewatch my vids <3

lol dang it, I was kinda hoping to avoid this question, just because I feel like I'd find it hella hard to explain some things, but I'll try my best and hopefully it'll make some sense xD

I'll start from afar bc I wanna try to explain my reasonings, since I don't want to go without arguments into such highly debated question lolz. I talked about this a bit in my previous asks somewhere, but not broadly as to why that one guy hit all the right spots.

So throughout the books Wu Xie always does this wonderful thing, where he very tangibly describes the feeling he gets when Xiaoge is near, I mean like the aura around him. And he always somehow does it so colorful, that this mix of safety, assurance, calmness, composure and some things I can't quite put into one noun, that he brings to him, I think everyone who've read the books can recognize as this almost magical "Xiaoge feeling". It's not just the way he acts in some dangerous situations or smth like that. It's just everything. You either have it or you don't. And here goes my first argument... to me none of them, except for Huang Junjie and Yuliang have it.

I mean it's not even the obvious stuff, it's like the way they move during the action scenes, the way they even stand and hold themselves, the way they touch Wu Xie, the tone of their voices (both of which are like soothing as fuck), little things you'd think wouldn't matter, but when you watch it and all the puzzle pieces are together, you're like... fuck yeah, thats him.

Also not really that weighty of a point, but to me there's always a joy to see that the actor who plays the character not only gets what's he's playing, but also loves it, bc it's always seen on screen. Usually when some asked about the character they play and what they have in common for example they answer with obvious things like if some character is introverted they're like "well I also don't talk very much" or smth like that, you know what I mean. When I was watching interviews of Yuliang and Huang Junjie I was just smiling so much, bc they've said such things that made me go "yeah, Qiling is safe in their hands".

In Reboot case working in such close proximity with the author definitely also played a huge role here. Bc it kinda gets complicated in some aspects since the books are written from Wu Xie's point of view and you can't only base your picture on his perspective, just bc it's coming from a person who after being basically told "you're my whole world" goes "I'm just a person he randomly passes by in his long life" in his thoughts. Not only he's utterly clueless and dumb when it comes to all this, that he wouldn't notice the way Qiling looks at him and other things, its also not that kind of book, that would go "I suddenly caught poker face looking at me like I'm his whole existence" (and I honestly don't want it to be that book lmao). So you have to take into the account here stuff like what author says to get the whole picture, bc if you look at that from the point of Qiling's view for example, this shit takes a whole wild turn. So I really loved that in UN and Reboot ways of showing Qiling's feelings were well thought out and fit the timeline.

Bc it also works both ways, when it comes to other adaptations. Like Qiling is very and I mean ETREMELY hard to win over. We all know that it was a very long process of gaining his trust and even longer for him to fall for Wu Xie to the point of him being his everything. So what I want in those interpretations is for them to get at which point of their relationships what Xiaoge's behavior makes sense. I do not need any fanservice if it ruins the character, I'll just hate it. The thing that their feelings didn't come out of nowhere is what I LOVE about this ship, bc I'm not the kind of person who believes in "we love for nothing" thing and love at first sight thing (only "got hots for each other" at first sight), bc thats bull. Wu Xie became his everything after a long LONG process of getting to know each other. At the beginning tho he was the same stranger to him as everyone else. So what Reboot Qiling feels for Wu Xie is not what UN's Qiling feels for Wu Xie yet and what UN's Qiling feels for Wu Xie is not what Lost Tomb's Qiling feels for Wu Xie (which at that point was nothing). And I feel like not everyone gets the fact that you can totally wreck the character if you make him behave not the way he behaved in that particular time. Like for example, if someone would make a MDZS adaptation where at the very beginning of their relationships LZ treats WWX the way he treated him after the reincarnation just because "who cares, it's still LZ", that would be dumb af, see what I mean. So Xiaoge having a weakness for Wu Xie in part one is automatically not a Xiaoge to me, bc a huge part of his character and the thing NPSS speaks a lot about is just how IMPOSSIBLE it is for someone to catch his attention and how long it took Wu Xie to get there. So let's just say to me UN and Reboot Qilings for the first time didn't feel like some mashup or character summary/parody, they were Qilings the way they are supposed to be in that part of the story, bc it was the only times someone actually bothered to coordinate it.

Now as to why I prefer one to another. Xiaoge has this thing... the way he holds himself with other people, that is sometimes intentionally and sometimes unintentionally suppressing.

Like everyone knows that if you're a passerby, Qiling genuinely doesn't fucking care and would in fact be pretty harsh about it in terms of treating people like they do not deserve their attention. He won't be like "please, don't bother me", he simply ignored them like an empty space. He is also like that with acquaintances who in his opinion do not deserve his respect like that girl who went hysterical, bc she was upset that he was the only one who wasn't drooling on her like all other men on the crew, Chen Wenjin, Wu Xie's uncles and etc. He's not openly disrespectful unless they trigger him in some way (usually by trying to act superior or later on for not treating Wu Xie right), but if they do, he will in fact remind them their place in sometimes a very rude way, at times humiliating them in front of ppl bc he looks younger than them and talking starts.

He's always doing things on his own terms and hates being told what to do. Like he legit scared Chen Wenjin just with a look and the tone of his voice when he said "let go", when she tried to command him on the mission and grabbed him trying to lecture him about what he should or shouldn't do. That's why Wu Erbai didn't even try anything like this and let him do whatever he needed to do and equally lead the mission in Reboot. And why the scene where Wu Xie 'commands' "Xiaoge, come back" and he immediately listens holds another special place in my heart. Bc he NEVER and I mean NEVER allows such things to ANYONE.

So here I came to a point of why despite loving them both dearly, my favorite Xiaoge is Huang Junjie.

I have this dissonance with Yuliang's version when to me in many scenes it felt like he and Wu Xie are the same age. Like if he was Xiaoge, but in his 20s. In his interactions with Chen Wenjin the dynamics was turned upside down, with him being okay with her telling him what to do and just in general the way she behaved with him. Same as like I didn't always quite believe him to be on par with older generation or even Pangzi, it just felt like he was truly younger than them. Some scenes that I do find extremely cute just don't fit book Xiaoge at all, I'm talking about some moments like his face when Wu Xie gave him food, or him pouting and many things he's done, when you were going "uwu he's a baby". He just never gives me this feeling in the books ever, not just bc he's 100 years old, but sad fact here.. bc he's simply unable to behave that way. Like in the books you'll desperately want to shower him with love, but he's just... I can't quite explain, it's very sad.

I guess it's just you know these characters, who are like hundreds years old, but look like they're 18? I think you have to be very careful with how you write those, so you could deliver that. And in UN because of some changed dynamics and scenes I straight up forgot about it, until Wu Xie threw some joke like "he's an old man" in front of a restaurant.

In Reboot Xiaoge could make Wu Erbai stutter with one move, put Yuliang's version in the same scene, I just don't think it would've worked. Like I'm trying to imagine him telling UN's Wu Erbai what to do and having troubles already haha. Same as I don't think he's capable to be genuinely mad at Wu Xie, and HJJ nailed it esp in one of my fav when Wu Xie was laughing at Pangzi's joke about him catching cold. The look he gave him and how ZYL just retreated was priceless xD. And boy could Qiling get angry with him in the books!

Otherwise I didn't have any drastic fall outs there, like with Joseph's Wu Xie and Ah Ning's death, because that was just too much of a difference, but there were still moments where it was once again this the same scene completely different emotion thing. He was more tolerable to ppl in general here, more pliable. And 50% of the time he gave me the cute lost kitten type, which I just cannot connect with the feeling he gave me in the books. His personality is a cat type 100%, but like seriously "cute baby" is the last word combination I would ever apply to book Xiaoge, but with Yuliang's version it's easily applied. So small bean he is indeed. With Joseph and in UN it works incredibly perfect to me, but the way he is in UN is at times too gentle. And there are lots of scenes where Joseph himself looked at him in a way "you're too cute, let me pinch your cheeks" kind of way, or the way he like sat down next to him on the coast, he was a bit babying him at times. I can't imagine book pingxie doing that. It's just a whole different vibe, the way he takes care of him, the way he lets him take care of him... it's...uuuuuuuuu another vibe (see, I'm so good at explaining lmao).

It's also kinda funny to me, bc HJJ who's the smallest and who irl truly a kitten never once gave me that feeling on screen for some reason. The one babied and loved by every crew and old ppl, who was cutely hiding behind ZYL's back on set, who won't sue an ex who almost ruined his career bc of how stupid she is, bc he "didn't want to hurt her", who according to staff can't even step on a fly, whom CMH was petting for several minutes after he had to hit him with a prop brick bc he didn't wanna do it lmao. I was just like.. ok, this is hilarious, bc I in fact didn't expect him to be a small bean, so watching all the bts made me go LOOOOL. Probably ZYL acting like a 3 year old helped him transform and the age difference problem got lost lmao

As for other adaptations. You know I can't watch seriously "Lost Tomb", I think some ppl probably have some nostalgic feeling about it, but I'm sorry, to me it's fucking hilarious. Like I've already said it looks like some type of twilight parody thing or smth. Soft damselle Wu Xie esp killed me, bc 1st when he ever was that, 2nd in the first book he's salty af, I don't even know this dude in this interpretation, I was like who's this. YangYang I know him from other things, I really don't think it's his role. I know the script and everything is bad. I know the costume and hair are horrendously funny, but it's just I was watching him in those action scenes and was like no... just I'm sorry but I'm not feeling it. I simply just don't know what to say about the whole thing seriously, bc I don't even know where to start. 10 episodes of some salad finished with one mutilated scene from book 6 for no reason the fact that characters are weird themselves also I can't quite tell, did they really just meet or they imply smth else lmao.. I'm sorry, but I do not get it.

I've given LT2 another try after finishing all the books and I've dropped it half way through, Cheng Yi wasn't even close to how I pictured Xiaoge in any aspect. He in fact didn't do anything OOC or off the book or anything, I just was like "not my Qiling". Happens sometimes.

Explore with the note you already know how I feel about this lol let's just forget.

P.S. To be fair here also maybe we should take into account the fact that some got luckier than other with "at which point" Xiaoge they're playing. Like for example, "Wrath of the Sea" and "Qingling Tree" books which is LT2 is not exactly you can say much about Qiling there, he trolls them there in the beginning (in a brilliant way that was totally lost in the adaptation) and he is there in "Wrath of Sea", but it's not the part that can make his character shine in any way, there's not much things happening there that would make you fall for him or get to know him; Yuliang grabbed the fattest piece bc it's middle several books, when they're always together and his character shines the most in terms of clues about past, opening up to Wu Xie and Pangzi, and there are many many events where you can get the picture of what kind of man he is; Huang Junjie grabbed my fav piece of utter devotion, where he's already fully and wholeheartedly belongs to Wu Xie, that I'm just weak for. So like... there's also that I guess xD.

[pay-with-your-kinks]

Frustrating

Summary: Seungmin and Hyunjin were constantly at each other’s throats, mostly fighting over you. So, you decided, that it was finally time to put them both in their place.

College AU

Photography-Major!Seungmin x Business-Major(Rich-Kid)!Hyunjin x Business-Major!Reader

Warnings: dom!reader, sub!members, Seungjin violence with each other, threesome, pegging, cum-play, slight pet-play(?), member on member, corruption kink, mommy kink, slight edging, also it was only quickly edited so there may be a couple mistakes

----

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“Shit!” Seungmin yelped, spinning around and being met with Hyunjin

Hyunjin rose his eyebrow, looking at the boy below him, Seungmin being crouched on the ground behind a bush, a camera in his hands.

“You look like a pervert,”

“I’m making art,” Seungmin squinted at him “Of course you wouldn’t understand that, though,”

“I have pieces you wouldn’t be able to afford if you sold everything you own,”

“Shit that your parents paid for that you don’t know a thing about,” Seungmin muttered, and turned back around “Damnit, I lost her!”

“Lost who?”

“Don’t act dumb. I know you were following Y/N too,” He said, still looking around for you from above the bush

Hyunjin pursed his lips and looked to the side, going quiet for a second.

“At least I wasn’t taking pictures,” He finally spoke

“You took too long to make a comeback. Now you not only look lame, but sound it too,”

“Only cause I’m not nearly as vulgar as someone like you,”

“Someone like me? You mean my money?” Seungmin turned back to face Hyunjin “Y/N may be taking your course, but she’s way closer to my ‘class’ then she is to your pretentious ass,”

“You don’t know I was talking about money!”

“You’re always talking about money. That’s your only personality trait. How rich you are,”

“I’ll show you a personality trait-” Hyunjin scoffed, and went to roll up his sleeves

“Hyunjin? Seungmin?” You asked from behind the two boys, and they both immediately swivelled around

“Y/N!” the two said in unison, Hyunjin’s hands automatically going to his hair to fix himself up, and Seungmin immediately hiding the camera behind his back and jumping to his feet

“What are you two doing?” You sighed “Looks like you were at each other’s throats,”

“Me? Fighting with someone?” Hyunjin’s eyes widened in what would’ve passed as surprise had you not just plainly seen the two fighting after having followed you

Seungmin took a deep breath in and clenched his camera in his hands, trying to keep his anger under control, especially in front of you.

“Right…” You nodded slowly “Well I was just heading to get bubble tea, wanna join?”

“I’d love to!” The two said in unison

They glanced at each other

“…jinx you owe me an hour alone with Y/N,” Seungmin muttered quickly under his breath

“Like hell,” Hyunjin muttered back

You raised your brow and breathed out a laugh, knowing that they probably assumed that you couldn’t hear them, like always, before beckoning them over and beginning to walk towards the bubble tea shop. They both went urgently to your side, and you couldn’t help but make a comparison of both of them to puppies.

 ----

Light shone in streaks through the blinds in your window, landing right on your eyes. You groaned and squeezed them shut before turning away from your window and blindly patting your hand on your bedside table, finally finding your phone and picking it up.

You sighed when you saw the time. Eight in the morning. Even on weekends you couldn’t catch a break. Squinting, you clicked on the message notifications and brought up the first one.

[Hyunjin]: Hey Y/N, can you help me study today? There’s something I can’t seem to get down

You clicked out of it, and onto the next one

[Seungmin]: Y/N! I know this is sudden, but could you help me with something? I’ll tell you what it is when you message me back

[Seungmin]: It’s okay if you’re busy, though. It’s something with my photography course

You yawned and sat up, leaning against your bed frame, and clicked back onto Hyunjin’s message

[Y/N]: What do you need help with? Seungmin’s asked for my help today as well, so maybe we could all hang out together?

Going back to Seungmin’s chat, you started another message

[Y/N]: I can try!

[Y/N]: Hyunjin wants my help with studying, so if we could all meet up together, I could probably try to help you both.

You suddenly got two more messages.

[Hyunjin]: Sure, he can come if he wants, but he might slow us down haha

[Seungmin]: Don’t think this is something Hyunjin can help with, but I can work with it if you really wanna study with him

You breathed out a laugh. They were so obvious.

 ----

After some time trying to convince Hyunjin, you finally arranged that you’d meet up at Seungmin’s dorm room, since that was where all his equipment was, and you and Hyunjin could just as easily study there as anywhere else.

“Hyunjin!” You called, and the boy in front of you turned around

“Hey Y/N,” He smiled, stopping in front of the dorm entrance and waiting for you to catch up with him “How are you?”

“I’m doing okay,” you smiled and began walking inside “Hopefully Seungmin can get what he needs while I’m helping you,”

Hyunjin noticeably huffed

“It might be really messy in there- you know, it’s much better to study in a clean environment-”

“Hyunjin we talked about this,” You raised your hand, and ruffled his hair, to which he practically yelped at, and began to fix it as soon as you took your hand away “By coming to Seungmin’s, everyone wins. Besides, your house is way further than the dorm rooms,”

Hyunjin pouted, and muttered a small ‘I guess so’

“You’re cute,” You chuckled

The boy immediately perked up, and his ears lit aflame with red. He tried to say something in response, but nothing coherent came out.

You eventually made it to Seungmin’s room, where you were about to knock, but were interrupted with the door swinging open, and a paint-stained Jisung came out

“Oh- hey Y/N!” He smiled at you, before looking at Hyunjin “Who’re you?”

“My name’s Hwang Hyunjin,” Hyunjin said, squaring his chest in a prideful manner

“Name’s Han Jisung,” The boy said in return, smiling lopsidedly “Oh, I’m kinda in a rush- there’s a painting I wanna get done today and I just ran out of a colour- Seungmin’s inside, catch you later!”

“Y/N!” Seungmin smiled, from his desk, looking at you from the open door “Thanks for coming, come in,”

“Thanks, Seung,” You started inside, followed by Hyunjin

“How do you know…what was his name? Han Jisung?” Hyunjin asked

“I’ve been to Seungmin’s dorm a couple times. The two are roommates as you probably guessed,”

Hyunjin blinked

“…You’ve never been to my house before,”

“Seungmin and I have been friends since high school, Hyunjin,” You laughed slightly “And like I said, your house is far away,”

The boy behind you scowled at Seungmin, who gave a smug, triumphant look back.

“This place is…” Hyunjin started, looking around for the first time “…cluttered,”

The room alone was full of supplies, most of which you assumed to be Seungmin’s, since they were more photography than visual arts, not like the two didn’t overlap, however. A large window was open at the back of the room, allowing in a lot of natural light. Seungmin ignored Hyunjin’s comment.

“You two can study over there,” He started, pointing to a desk positioned in front of the window “The lighting is good there, just sit on opposite sides, so I can get Y/N alone,”

 ----

You and Hyunjin had gotten settled and began to study. You mostly ended up teaching each other more so than just you teaching Hyunjin. Occasionally, Seungmin would bend down and snap a photo of you, or try to get higher above. It was hard to ignore at first, but eventually you started to not see it, especially when Hyunjin began explaining something that you’d been having trouble with for a while- he explained it quite well too.

“Y/N, could you face me just a tiny bit? Just your body,” Seungmin asked

“One second, Seung,” You replied, waving a dismissing hand and leaning more toward Hyunjin

Seungmin frowned and looked to Hyunjin, who only glanced back at Seungmin for a second before turning his attention back to you, but the entire second was so full of arrogance that Seungmin could’ve crushed his camera if it weren’t so expensive and he weren’t a broke college student.

Hyunjin would be lying if he told himself that he didn’t want to desperately see the photos that Seungmin was taking of you. You looked perfect in the lighting, and even though the room wasn’t his style, it did have a lot of plants that worked well with the scattered art supplies, and when you were put in the foreground, it was the most charming thing he’d ever seen. Seungmin, although Hyunjin despised to admit it, was also a pretty good photographer, and any photos he’d glimpsed of you taken by his enemy, he immediately fell in love with.

 ----

“Okay,” Seungmin said “That should be enough, thanks so much for helping me out Y/N! Couldn’t have done it without you,”

“Yes!” Hyunjin cheered, shutting his book “Can we leave now? This place gives me anxiety, we can study at your place?” 

You chuckled slightly as Seungmin glared at Hyunjin.

“Are you done work for the day, Seung? Or are you gonna edit those photos too?” You turned to Seungmin, and Hyunjin’s shoulders sagged when you didn’t reply to him

“No, I’ll just edit them tomorrow,” He shrugged “Why? Want me to come over and cook for you?”

“Cook for her-?” Hyunjin started

“Yeah, that’d be awesome,” You said, standing up and stretching “Come on, Hyunjin, we’ll study at my place then,”

“…and Seungmin’s coming?”

“Yeah, he’s actually a pretty good cook when he tries,”

Hyunjin pursed his lips, before beginning to gather his stuff, and slinging his bag over his shoulder, and you did the same.

 ----

The three of you arrived at your dorm just as the sun had started to go down

You let the other two in, both of them, and you, taking your shoes off before you walked to the couch pressed against the wall, and fell back on it, yawning.

“Oh-” Hyunjin started “Are you tired? Sorry if I was-”

“No no, don’t worry puppy,”

“Puppy?” both of them quickly asked, Seungmin, who was already heading towards the kitchen, snapping his head sideways in your direction

“You two are so uptight,” You smiled “Hold on, can I get changed quickly? I don’t like being in proper clothes when I’m in my own dorm,”

“Y-yeah- of course-” Hyunjin blushed, and looked back to Seungmin, who didn’t seem phased by the request, and he assumed that that’s what you would normally do

As soon as you were out of sight, Seungmin turned to Hyunjin, eyebrows furrowed harshly.

“Puppy’s my nickname,” Seungmin said, his tone accusatory

“What?” Hyunjin squinted “I’ve never heard her call you that before. Not my fault that I get the pet name,”

“You-”

Seungmin scrunched his nose and whipped out his phone, immediately opening your messages and scrolling up, stopping and shoving the screen into Hyunjin’s face, where it clearly displayed you referring to him as ‘puppy’ in casual conversation.

Hyunjin stared for a moment.

“That’s not-”

“I was her friend first,” Seungmin sneered

“At least is Y/N was with me I’d actually be able to support her. What do photographers earn?”

Seungmin suddenly jumped on Hyunjin, tackling him backwards, luckily onto the couch.

“You’re just a spoiled trust fund kid!” Seungmin growled, his hands pressed against Hyunjin’s shoulders, and Hyunjin opened his mouth to retaliate

“Geez,” Your voice came from the side, and they both turned to you, eyes wide “You two are really frustrating sometimes,”

You were wearing a black pair of sweat-pants, and a plain white t-shirt over-top, a view that made both of the boys’ thoughts immediately go to waking up next to you in the morning

“Y/N!” Seungmin gasped, and began to get off of Hyunjin, but you held up a hand

“No, stay there, puppy,” You smiled, and began walking up to them “It’s cute how you both think I don’t know what’s been happening. How dumb do you think I am?”

“We don’t think you’re-” Hyunjin began, talking off pure instinct, but you shushed him

“Wait- you know what’s been going on?!” Seungmin’s eyes became clouded with confusion

“You two are so loud, like, all the time. You don’t think I can’t hear you?”

“Then why haven’t you said anything-?” He continued, and Hyunjin just sat there, still trying to process the situation

“What do you want me to do? Choose between one of you?”

“Yes!” Seungmin started “Come on, Y/N, if you’ve known what’s been happening why didn’t you say anything sooner?! I’ve been having to hang out with this insufferable rich kid for too long!”

You sighed and began to walk up to the two of them.

“It’s a shame you two are both too prideful to let me choose both,”

“What-” Hyunjin’s eyebrows furrowed even further

“You’d look so pretty fucking each other...” You smiled, and ran your fingers through Seungmin’s hair, who was still on top of Hyunjin

Seungmin let out an involuntary whine from the back of his throat when you’d said that, and he immediately slammed his mouth shut afterwards, his entire face going red.

“Y-Y/N-” Hyunjin stuttered “Are you...offering to have sex?”

“Depends whether you two will let me play with you. Both of you,” You smiled at Hyunjin

The two made eye contact with each other, before they looked away, both their faces red now.

“You two are so frustrating. You always fight right in front of me like I can’t hear you. Maybe forcing you to look each other right in the eyes with one of your cocks inside the other’s ass will shut you up, hm?”

“Y/N...” Hyunjin breathed in “I...come on...you don’t mean that, right?”

“Yeah Y/N! You can’t expect me to- to fuck someone like him?!”

“You two have been real pains lately,” You shrugged “Don’t you think you should make it up to mommy?”

“Mommy-” They both repeated, their entire face, down to their necks going red

Once again, they met eyes.

“If we’ve really been inconveniencing her for so long...” Hyunjin muttered

“Now way!” Seungmin started, and he finally got off of Hyunjin, standing up properly and turning to you desperately “Hyunjin is-”

“Then you can just watch while I fuck Hyunjin instead?”

Seungmin paused

“...I’ll do it,”

You smiled, a devilish smirk that left both of the boys speechless, shivers going down their spine.

“Good,”

You turned around, and began walking towards the bedroom. Hyunjin sheepishly got off the couch and started following you, refusing to look at Seungmin, and Seungmin stayed still for a moment, before finally, he started walking too.

“I have a question,” You said, sitting down on the bed and turning to the boys once they were both in the room

They looked to you

“Have you ever fucked anyone the same gender as you?”

Hyunjin hesitated before shaking his head, and Seungmin stayed still, his blush deepening.

“...Seung?” You turned to the younger boy

“I-...” Seungmin started, shifting uncomfortably and glancing to Hyunjin, then back to you, before averting his eyes “I’m a virgin,”

You blinked

“Oh...oh no...”

“Really?!” Hyunjin turned to him, eyes wide “But you’re so-”

The boy paused, and then clamped his mouth shut. Both you and Seungmin turned curiously to Hyunjin.

“What were you gonna say, Hyunjin?” You asked, a smile finding it’s way onto your face again

Hyunjin mumbled, so quiet that you couldn’t hear, but Seungmin seemed to catch it, as his eyes widened and he sputtered slightly, as if trying to make sense of the words he’d just heard.

“What’d he say?” You turned to Seungmin

“...He said- he said I’m really pretty-”

You laughed

“Well he’s right,” You shrugged before getting up, and walking up to Seungmin “But we don’t have to do this. You shouldn’t have to have a threesome as your first time,”

“But I don’t want Hyunjin-”

“I won’t do it with just Hyunjin,”

Hyunjin turned to you, as if scandalised, but you glared at him, and he pouted, but didn’t say anything, still understanding that it would be unfair to Seungmin.

“...I’ve made out with guys before...” Seungmin muttered, and then added “and girls,”

“You can say you want some time to think about it,” You soothed, and cupped Seungmin’s hand in your cheek

“Uh...we can try...starting off small...” Hyunjin piped in

Your eyebrows instinctively raised.

“You seem eager, Hyunjin” You smiled “Before too, when I first asked you guys. Hyunjin, how long have you wanted to fuck Seung?”

Hyunjin immediately looked away.

“I just think he’s good looking, I still hate him!”

“What about you, Seung? What do you think of Hyunjin?”

“...his hair is nice...” He said, and opened his mouth, but didn’t say anything else

“And?”

“And...more than once I’ve thought about running my hands through it...”

You suddenly started laughing, and rather loudly too, as the boys both burned red.

“Then make out,” you said, finally calming down

Hyunjin and Seungmin squeaked at the abruptness of the suggestion, but before either could say anything more, you pulled Hyunjin and sat him on the bed, before pulling Seungmin and making him straddle the boy. You didn’t actually do much, just pushed them towards each other.  

You sat on the bed too, but up against the bed frame. Neither of them looked at you, just sat, seemingly staring at each other’s lips, before finally, Seungmin leaned in. You smirked as their lips locked. It started off timid, but got heated much quicker than you thought it would.

Hyunjin wrapped his arms around Seungmin, and pulled him closer, practically pressing their bodies together, and Seungmin’s hands went up to Hyunjin’s hair, where he not only ran his fingers through it, but tugged it, and not lightly either. Hyunjin moaned slightly, and Seungmin swore against the other boys’ lips in return.

They eventually pulled away, both of them already a mess, breathing hard.

“Made up your mind yet, Seung?” You smiled, and he turned to you, and, very slightly, he nodded

“Good boy,” You beckoned Seungmin over, and moved from your spot, directing him to sit where you were, up against the bed frame.

You went up behind Hyunjin, who was still sat on the side of the bed, and you leaned down, lips brushing against his ear.

“You were always so much meaner to Seung than he was to you,” You whispered

“That’s not true!” Hyunjin retaliated “He was only nice in front of you...”

“Yeah? Did he ever insult the way you lived, or your career choice? Those are pretty hard hits, you know?”

Hyunjin pouted

“No...”

“So, don’t you think you should apologise to him?” You kissed his ear, and your hands crept around him, where you grabbed the hem of his shirt, and lifted it up. Hyunjin lifted his arms up to help you get it off “Why don’t you suck him off like a good puppy?”

You went around Hyunjin and got off the bed, standing up and watching as, after taking a deep breath, Hyunjin crawled over to Seungmin.

“Holy fuck,” Seungmin breathed in sharply

“Please don’t say anything...” Hyunjin muttered, unable to take his eyes off the sheets and face the boy above him

“Jinnie, you should look at people when apologising,” You tutted, and reached to his hair, tugging it so that he was looking up to Seungmin “And Seungmin, its mean to be clothed when Hyunjin doesn’t have a shirt on, right?”

Seungmin nodded slowly, and took off his shirt.

Breathing out, Hyunjin reached to the fly of Seungmin’s pants, and slowly unzipped it, and he took out Seungmin’s cock.

Hyunjin shivered when he was met with the fully hard and angry red dick, and he leaned in, opening his mouth before you tugged him back.

“I didn’t hear an apology yet,” You condescended

“Mommy...” Seungmin muttered “It’s okay,”

“Didn’t it make you feel bad whenever Hyunjin criticised your choices? Being a photographer is what you’re passionate about,”

Seungmin opened his mouth to reply, but Hyunjin interrupted.

“I’m sorry Seungmin,” He whispered, and you could tell he meant it “I really didn’t mean to hurt you, I just...”

There was a short moment of silence, before Hyunjin attached his lips to Seungmin’s cock. Seungmin let out a surprisingly loud moan. Hyunjin paused, and you remembered that he’d never sucked a cock before, so, with your hand still on the back of his head, you slowly pushed him down, and once you thought he was far down enough, you brought him back up, so his lips were at the very tip. Hyunjin kissed it, before going back down again on his own.

“F-fuck- ah- Hyunjin-” Seungmin moaned, bucking up into the boy’s mouth

You could tell Hyunjin almost gagged from that, but he regained his composure quickly, and even groaned around it.

You got up from the bed, and went to the closet, quickly pulling out a box and grabbing a strap and a bottle of lube. Hyunjin couldn’t see, but Seungmin couldn’t help but watch you with lidded, pleasure-filled eyes. You smiled at him, and went behind Hyunjin, climbing onto the bed where Hyunjin momentarily paused at the dip in the mattress before continuing.

You reached to Hyunjin’s fly, and undid it.

“Mommy-” Hyunjin started, interrupting himself with a whimper when you pulled his pants and underwear down to his knees, exposing his ass and practically dripping cock to the air

“Jinnie, mommy’s gonna finger you, okay?”

“F-finger me-?”

You stayed silent, and Hyunjin nervously nodded before going back to Seungmin’s cock- he needed something to distract himself.

Seungmin intertwined his own hand with Hyunjin’s hair, and began controlling Hyunjin’s movements slightly, and Hyunjin made no move against him.

Grabbing the lube, you squirted some on your finger, and slowly pressed it against Hyunjin’s hole. Hyunjin let out an abrupt whine, and his body jolted. You rubbed his thigh before pushing inside him. He visibly tensed, and stopped moving his head while it was halfway down Seungmin.

“it’s okay, baby,” You soothed, and rubbed his thigh, before beginning to, very slowly, move

Hyunjin moaned some more, muffled by Seungmin’s cock, and Seungmin whined, seemingly getting a satisfactory amount of pleasure just from the vibrations of the other boy’s moans. You took your finger out, and added more lube, before sticking them both in, immediately starting to move them in and out. Hyunjin jolted again, and kept whining.

“Mommy-” Seungmin started “His eyes are teary-”

You paused.

“Fuck! A safe-word!” You slapped your forehead with your non-lubed hand “I’m so sorry puppies, I got so distracted,”

Hyunjin finally moved his head again, and took a deep breath in when he finally let his lips off Seungmin’s cock.

“I didn’t want you to stop...” He muttered

“It’s still important puppy,” You squeezed his thigh, and he whined

“What about ‘kitty’?” Seungmin asked

You breathed out a laugh

“Hyunjin? Is that okay?”

“Y-yeah-” Hyunjin stuttered

You nodded shortly before you started moving again, and Hyunjin immediately moaned. It was much louder than when he was muffled by Seungmin’s cock, you were almost surprised.

“You weren’t keeping your pretty lips on Seungmin’s dick just so you could quiet your noses, right puppy?” You asked, and Hyunjin gulped, sensing the threat within the question

“N-no mommy-”

“Try to purposefully hide your sounds again, puppy, and I won’t hold back, got it?”

Hyunjin nodded, before going back to Seungmin’s cock.

Seungmin swore and shut his eyes. You got off the bed, and quickly took off your pants and shirt. Grabbing the strap-on, you secured it to yourself and lubed it up generously. Hearing a sudden slurping sound, and a loud moan, you turned back to the two boys, where Hyunjin had started going much faster, and Seungmin was bucking up towards him.

“Fuck- Hyunjin that- ahh-” Seungmin whined, and you smirked, biting your lip at the high-pitched sounds

“Hyunjin, stop,” You said, and he did, ripping a loud whine from Seungmin

“Mommy-” Seungmin whined, turning to you, eyes glazed over and a pout decorating his face “Mommy why-”

“I don’t need you cumming just yet, puppy,” You shot an innocent smile at him, and climbed on the bed, lining yourself up with Hyunjin “Besides, I wanna hear Jinnie’s noises properly for a bit, don’t you?”

Seungmin quickly nodded, and his grip on Hyunjin’s hair tightened, making the boy beneath him whine.

Slowly you pushed in, and Hyunjin tensed, groaning and burying his face into the side of Seungmin’s bare thigh, somewhere along the lines, you noticed, Seungmin’s pants had completely come off, something you were disappointed that you missed.

Once you were fully inside, you stopped. Hyunjin shifted a couple times, moaning every time the dildo moved inside of him.

“O-okay,” He finally muttered, and you started moving

Hyunjin was immediately responsive, whining and trying to move back in time with you, but you could tell it also hurt. His fists were clenched so hard the were white, and he was biting into Seungmin’s thigh, made obvious from the way Seungmin was biting his lip, and struggling not to whine in pain.

You slowly started going faster, and Hyunjin began moaning louder. You leaned forward and grabbed his hair directing his head back to Seungmin’s cock, where he immediately began sucking again, bobbing up and down in time with your thrusts, and slurping loudly. Seungmin’s moans were whiny and high-pitched, and unlike Hyunjin, he didn’t make any attempt to muffle or hide them, something you dearly appreciated

Taking your hand off Hyunjin’s head, you grabbed his cock, and began jerking him off. Despite his moans still being muffled, they became almost as loud as when they weren’t barely a minute ago.

“M-mommy I need to- ahh- ah fuck- I need to c-cum-” Seungmin moaned

“Why don’t you cum on Jinnie’s face for me, hm?”

Hyunjin whined, and raised his head. Hesitating for only a moment, Seungmin started jerking himself off, aiming towards Hyunjin’s face, and with a loud moan, he came. You continued fucking Hyunjin harder and harder, annoyed that you couldn’t see Hyunjin’s expression, but you were sure you’d get another chance.

Seungmin stopped moaning, switching to breathing heavily, and staring open-mouthed and Hyunjin, who was now moaning shamelessly, occasionally kissing Seungmin’s cock, and you could see Hyunjin rubbing his cheek against the length of it, smearing around the cum that had landed there.

“Mommy-” Hyunjin started “I-”

You pulled out, and Hyunjin whined, moaning painfully and immediately turning to face you. His face was still covered with cum, some smeared and some left along, but he looked perfect, his lips even more swollen and red than normal.

“I wanna see you cum on Seung’s face,” You smirked “Seungmin, kneel on the ground,”

Seungmin followed your orders, and quickly went to the side of the bed, kneeling down and looking up to you with large doe eyes.

You turned Hyunjin so he was facing Seungmin, and went behind Hyunjin, immediately beginning to jerk him off again. Hyunjin bucked up into your hand and you attached your lips to the boy’s neck, biting down harshly. It was only another couple seconds before Hyunjin’s body practically started shaking, and stroked of white cum began decorating Seungmin’s face. Seungmin kept his mouth open, allowing some of it to land in there, while the rest went around.

“Fuck,” You growled, and Hyunjin’s breath seemed to hitch at the tone of your voice

Seungmin opened his eyes, and once again looked up to you. Hyunjin leaned forward slightly, and smeared his cum around Seungmin’s face with his thumb.

You moved back and took off the strap, and both the boys seemed to come out of a trance, and they glanced at each other before scrambling towards you.

“Mommy!” Seungmin whined “I wanna eat you out- please- hah-”

“I was better behaved!” Hyunjin shouted

“How?!” Seungmin yelled back

You rolled your eyes before sitting against the bed frame, and spreading your legs, revealing just how wet you were. The two boys gulped, watching intently as you ran two fingers over your slit, and brought them up, making a V-pose, showing the two the cum stretching between the fingers.

“See how wet you two both made me?” You smiled “You should both take care of it, hm?”

They glanced at each other one more time

“I wanna suck mommy’s tits,” Hyunjin said breathlessly

“Yes!” Seungmin cheered, smiling brightly

“Come here, Hyunjin,” You beckoned him to your side, and he followed

You placed your hand on his head, and guided his lips to your nipple, where he immediately began sucking, and you groaned. Seungmin crawled up to you, and you smirked before grabbing his head with your other hand, and guiding him to your dripping pussy.

Seungmin licked a long stripe up it, kissing it before taking your clit between his lips, and sucking softly.

“That’s right puppies,” You groaned “You’re making mommy feel so good,”

The two seemed to be fuelled by your praise, and they immediately sped up. Seungmin brought his fingers up to your pussy, and slowly pushed them in, immediately beginning to thrust them in and out, while Hyunjin started rubbing and groping the nipple he wasn’t sucking.

“Fuck fuck- ah-” You moaned

Watching the two cum-covered boys so eager to pleasure you, and having been worked up for so long, it didn’t take long for you to need to cum.

“I’m cumming Seung,” You moaned, and the boy immediately started going faster, along with Hyunjin

You let out a long, loud moan as you came, and Seungmin breathlessly started lapping up any cum he could. You calmed down, and both the boys pulled away, cum dripping down Seungmin’s chin.

There was a moments pause before Hyunjin leaned forward and cupped Seungmin’s face in his hands, and began kissing him, immediately sticking his tongue into the boy’s mouth. Seungmin kissed back, their faces pressed so close together that some of the cum started smearing against each other.

Finally Hyunjin pulled away, and licked his lips.

“See? Wasn’t so hard to make up right?” You smiled

The two boys sat there, breathing hard and burning red.

[stridingseer]

chengxian for the ask game ?

When I started shipping them: Funny story, I started shipping them as soon as I started the donghua version of MDZS. The Untamed only fuelled it further.

My thoughts: LET THEM RECONCILE!! Also the one ship that just has the energy of ex-besties to rivals/>:( to lovers which is immaculate. They love each other so much, the whole golden core thing? Yeah, that. I don't think I need to say much more.

What makes me happy about them: Sworn siblings and thus an automatic win in my books. They grow up together and it makes me mushy on the inside.

What makes me sad about them: Reconciliation when :( Please make up, it'll make both of them happier in the long run :((

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: Can't say I have any honestly (usually use my filters to get to what a I want so haha)

Things I look for in fanfic: Mutual pining, also reconciliation. Makes me very happy though I will probably read anything x'D

My wishlist: More of them sharing a meal and being domestic, give me the bizarre AUs as well (y'know two WWXs and one JC, that type of weird stuff. GIMME). I WILL read them, especially if they're not canon compliant.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: HAHA jokes on everyone, I don't have a second pairing for either of them. It's ride or die in this small house.

My happily ever after for them: Just chilling at the lotus pier and enjoying a meal in the market square (Wei Wuxian pays for the first time in his life). Apologies it seems like my food bias is showing again

[astrodances]

So how did Scrooge react after talking the Kobayashi Marub test

Oh wow haha, first of all, thank you for all the asks for this! :D (For those wondering, they asked about several different characters' reactions to facing the Kobayashi Maru "no-win" scenario at Starfleet Academy, for my AU.)

Second, I'm going to combine my answers into this one post to keep it all together. I also want to point out that, technically, the test is specifically for command-track cadets and that it was used in the 23rd century (a.k.a. TOS era). So while I will answer it for all the characters you asked about, just keep in mind that only some of them are command track, and really only Scrooge would've been around to actually take it in its time (although, depending on his immortality, he might've even been ahead of its time).

All that said, here we go... (with the answers under the cut)

How Star Trek AU DuckTales characters would react to facing the Kobayashi Maru scenario:

Scrooge: the one this might actually apply to. I could totally see him beating it à la Kirk, either by reprogramming the computer to make it possible to win, or with some other clever solution. After all, he's Scrooge McDuck! But that's not the point of the test now, is it? To quote Memory Alpha, the test is used "to assess a cadet's discipline, character and command capabilities when facing an impossible situation." So, I think I could see Scrooge getting really frustrated with the test at first, letting some of that McDuck temper out, and failing it once or twice at first as a result. But when he really puts his mind to something - in this case, wanting to be one of the greatest Starfleet captains - he'll think about what it takes to achieve that. And for him, it would be about knowing the responsibilities of a captain and every Starfleet officer, which would include protecting civilians. So he would choose to (try to) rescue and protect the civilians aboard the Kobayashi Maru from the attacking AU Klingons, even if it means sacrificing his own crew and ship (though he'll try to save them, too, as much as possible). He knows what he signed up for, and so does his crew. (That is, until he has to face his own real-life Kobayashi Maru scenario years later when he loses Della - suddenly, it's so much harder to remember what both he and Della signed up for, and yet, he either has to give in to Starfleet Command's orders to move on, or risk his entire career and ignore orders to keep looking for Della. Fun times.)

Della: the other main command-track character here, though about a century after the fact, so this is hypothetical. But actually, if anyone was going to reprogram, "cheat," or otherwise use some "original thinking" to beat the scenario, it would be Della. (I'm thinking somewhere along the lines of befriending the AU Klingons, much to their irritation, to let her ship and the Maru go free. ;P) We've seen her take a rocket ship early and survive ten years on the moon - what's one test simulation to stop Della Duck?

Donald: he's an engineer, so the test doesn't apply to him (although I did say he'd become Scrooge's first officer after Della's lost, huh?). Knowing our duck with all the bad luck, he'd probably find the absolute worst-case scenario in the test and/or would unleash that famous temper on the simulator (but I'll turn that around for him and say that he gets extra credit as an engineering student for fixing the simulator :)).

Huey: he's a by-the-book kid, so I think it's safe to say he wouldn't win, but he'd lose gracefully and show his character, based on Woodchuck Rule #727: Sometimes the bravest thing an explorer can do is walk away.

Dewey: it'd be a very hypothetical thing for him, but with that in mind (and thinking about him in the "Sky Pirates!" episode), I'd think he'd just want to fight the AU Klingons, which would be an automatic fail, since you want to avoid fighting them in the test.

Webby: I could see her answer being similar to Dewey's (they are the "fists" and "devil-may-care guts" of the team, after all), though in a more serious light, she's extremely smart, and between looking up to Scrooge and being trained by Bentina, she'd definitely give the test a run for its money, maybe with some Ancient World tactical or diplomatic solution that no one else would have even heard of. A lot of points to her for ingenuity.

B.O.Y.D.: he'd definitely be a hypothetical take, though perhaps the Academy would bring him in to take it to see if there are any programming flaws or ways to improve the program?

Penny: y'know that moment in "They Put a Moonlander on the Earth!" where Penny "beats" the carnival water-shooting game by jumping into the booth and ripping the head off of the target? Yeah, apply that the the Maru test. XD (That, or she has some "obvious" other-quadrant solution that simply stuns the judges.)

Violet: knowing her, she'd probably be studying the history of the scenario to see what previous cadets have done, and what it took to get the best results, and would try to find the best average to use that to her advantage (which wouldn't help anything, but hey, she does love history).

Launchpad: crashed it. XD (that'd be one for the journal haha!) But nah, he's not command track, but I'd think he'd have one of the strongest reactions the judges have ever seen, in that he'd probably be really heartbroken, even just over a simulation. But then he'd channel his inner DW and get back up! :D (That's actually something to be said about this AU's LP, y'know. He'd make a terrible captain because he cares so much, which is by no means a bad thing. But even as a helmsman, he'll have these micro-reactions to the situation at hand, and while he doesn't let it interfere with his work, he's grateful to have his piloting to focus on, and not have to be the one making the big decisions.)

Lena: magic! Q powers! XD Actually though, there might be something there to discuss, regardless of if she's actually attending the academy (she wouldn't be command track anyway, I don't think). Lena could make the case that her powers would provide a legitimate solution to the scenario. After all, if she's got them, why not use them? In the Maru case, it could just be as simple as willing the Maru out of the Klingon Neutral Zone. Of course though, there's the counter-points that are brought up in that one early Q episode, where Riker gets Q powers (though he's a human that's granted the powers, and has to resist the temptation to use them), and then there's that episode with Amanda, the young Q lady (which tbh, I still need to rewatch, but I believe she gave into the temptation to use her powers to save others). Depending on where Lena is in her journey with her powers, she might not want anything to do with them, or she might be at the point where she's gonna use her powers for good. It's definitely something to contend with versus Starfleet (especially if they've dealt with Magica before), but for the case of the Maru, I'd think Lena would use her powers to her academic advantage, at least. ;)

[captainseaweedbrains]

The Hunger Games: Ch. 5

I am finally getting around to writing up thoughts. Life am I right? So I’m not only behind, but starting a bit later on my chapter thoughts. 

Here are my rambling thoughts and emotions on chapter 5: 

"Good news, though. This is the last one. Ready?" I get a grip on the edges of the table I'm seated on and nod. The final swathe of my leg hair is uprooted in a painful jerk.// Girl, I feel you. We’ve all been there. #Noshaveforever

This has included scrubbing down my body with a gritty loam that has removed not only dirt but at least three layers of skin// It’s called exfoliating, Katniss, and I promise, it is good for your skin. If they can do one thing for you, it is this. 

Okay. Like Katniss, I have a soft spot for her prep team. I can’t help it. They feel like they mean well and I’m a sucker for it. Even if they are prepping her for death.  💀

He gives his orange corkscrew locks a shake and applies a fresh coat of purple lipstick to his mouth.// I wonder if SC thought of the most gaudiest looks and just rolled with it. Probably. But some of these outfit choices just seem so out there that I have such a hard time picturing it. Am I alone on this? My fashion sense is that of a bygone era. So maybe that’s why. What is high fashion? Not me. That’s what.

Octavia, a plump woman whose entire body has been dyed a pale shade of pea green // Why would you want to look like a Sim? Why is that in style here? 

"Excellent! You almost look like a human being now!" says Flavius, and they all laugh.

I force my lips up into a smile to show how grateful I am. "Thank you," I say sweetly. "We don't have much cause to look nice in District Twelve."

This wins them over completely. // Katniss!! I love you. Never change. I do love how other worldly each party sees the other. Maybe it’s a comment on colonialism in that sense shut up Terri Your English degree is showing BUT how Katniss views them as strange birds rightly so because one legit probably looks like a Sim and them viewing her as NOT HUMAN even though she definitely looks the more normal in the room and I stand by that Where was I going with this? It just feels a bit Two Worlds colliding. Okay. Moving on. 

Just how filthy was Katniss? Like she definitely bathed before coming. Twice in one day. So what is their standard here? I don’t want it because it’s probably too much effort. #lazy

It's hard to hate my prep team. They're such total idiots.// My thoughts exactly. 

I cannot stress how much I love how blunt SC makes Katniss’ thoughts. It feels so human to me and I don’t always see that in writing. It’s nice. 

Am I alone on wondering if Cinna has that eyeliner tattooed on? I don’t know why that’s always my first thought with the second being “ouch.” 

I do love how Katniss is always thrown when her pre-perceptions of the Capitol are challenged by *the few* people like Cinna. 

I saw someone point out how Katniss remembers a lot of details like the stylists and past years winners and their strategies and I’m wondering if it’s more like how I know stuff on like the Kardashians that I don’t really want to know or care about knowing. Just facts living in her head rent free. But she remembers a lot of details on the Games.

He presses a button on the side of the table. The top splits and from below rises a second tabletop that holds our lunch.// The future 1950s ads promised and Disney Channel’s Smart House made those in my generation fear. That or a super fancy automat. 

Unpopular opinion, but I absolutely hate when Katniss goes on about the food and how to make dishes. I think it’s so boring to read. Even one sentence about what everyone is eating dulls me. 

What must it be like, I wonder, to live in a world where food appears at the press of a button?//Okay, I know we kind of already have this luxury to an extent, but I too want to press a button and my food is magically there, in my home, already made. #queenlazy

My heart saddens when Katniss wonders what people do in their free time. She is a CHILD. *cries*

Okay. So I know Katniss has boasted about concealing her thoughts, but is she REALLY good at it? She gets called out a lot by practical strangers. I will cling to my headcanon that she is truly an open book and just believes she’s sneaky like that and Peeta pretends she’s succeeding at later in life. Is this canon? Maybe? Don’t @ me

SC’s commentary of sexualizing young teens and kiddos is amazing and yes, please keep coming at us like this, Suzanne. 

Also those poor, naked children. Not only were they going to their deaths, but they literally were paraded around on national television buck naked. 

I'll be naked for sure, I think...Naked and covered in black dust, I think.//An example of why I just love her narration. I crack up every time at the clear doom in her “voice”

He sees my expression and grins.//A true madman because I can only assume her face is that of horror.

I am still mad at the scaly-looking outfits the movie gave us and how they made her hair look

It crosses my mind that Cinna's calm and normal demeanor masks a complete madman.//He is a madman. We accept it and move on from here

*Peeta enters* *Cue my glee* 

*He is my favorite and that favoritism will show*

*Listen I am here for the messages on war and our consumer culture SC is providing*

*But I will not hide why I’m really here rereading these books*

*WEEPS* SHE IS RELIEVED TO SEE PEETA 

"What do you think?" I whisper to Peeta. "About the fire?"

"I'll rip off your cape if you'll rip off mine," he says through gritted teeth.//Don’t touch me. The teamwork they already share. 

Haha I just imagine Peeta has that big smile on his face all “Haha I want to die right now”

THEY’RE LAUGHING. Precious beans. 

I guess we're both so nervous about the Games and more pressingly, petrified of being turned into human torches, we're not acting sensibly.// That or you both are talking to your crushes and are feeling giddy about it. Don’t deny it Katniss. We see you

Lmao Katniss’ enthusiasm for D1 cracks me up

Cinna over here just lighting people on fire and relieved it worked properly. This man, I swear

She calls him dazzling. Be still my heart. 

Also I still don’t understand the true purpose of Cinna presenting them as united. Maybe I’ll get a refresher later on. Is it just to make them stand out more because they’re united? I don’t understand this angle at all. So #SameKatnissSame

Lmao or maybe Peeta’s the one who is all “Idk, but *sings* I wanna hold your hand...” 

Or not. But you bet Peeta is pumped. He’s not naked on national television and he’s holding his crush’s hand. Peak day for Peeta Bram Mellark, with all things given.

I do hope they are waving correctly. 

I'm glad now I have Peeta to clutch for balance, he is so steady, solid as a rock.//I’m FINE. Totally FINE that this will be how she views him for the rest of the series. FINE.

Narrator: She was not fine. 

How absolutely sad that she mentions how the Capitolites took the effort to look in the program for their names. How they waste CHILDREN’S LIVES. 

But I shall focus on her gaining confidence and Katniss Everdeen legit getting caught up in the moment where she is blowing kisses at them. The power of a great outfit, amirite? 

Someone throws me a red rose. I catch it, give it a delicate sniff, and blow a kiss back in the general direction of the giver. A hundred hands reach up to catch my kiss, as if it were a real and tangible thing.//Oh my god. So Extra

Everyone wants my kisses.//Peeta wants those kisses 

"No, don't let go of me," he says. The firelight flickers off his blue eyes. "Please.// I am crying as I think about their interaction in the same square in Mockingjay, when she tries to take the nightlock pill and he stops her. “I’ll never let go, Jack”  

SC can describe Snow however she wants, I will forever see Donald Sutherland and only that. Even when Snow is a teenager I picture Donald. The power of Donald Sutherland.

I love that she doesn’t realize she’s still holding his hand. If Portia had enough time to spray them down, she’s been holding on for awhile. Katniss, explanation?  👀 👀 👀 👀 👀

"I'm sure they didn't notice anything but you. You should wear flames more often," he says. "They suit you." And then he gives me a smile that seems so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness that unexpected warmth rushes through me. // AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

SHE FEELS WARMTH RUSH THROUGH HER

THE SHY FLIRTING

PEETA, YOU SHY SLY BEAN OF A FOX

The more likable he is, the more deadly he is.//Yeah, for catching a dangerous thing called FEELINGS. 

Katniss, how does *kissing* him help matters here? You clearly caught wind he was flirting and your first thought was *le kiss* ???????

These two, I swear

And Katniss is just so smol having to stand on her *tiptoes* to kiss his cheek. #teamsmol

Onward to the next chapter! 

[formerlyjannafaye]

Janna I saw you reblog Wish Dragon and mention it was better than Luca (in your opinion lol), and as a Luca fanatic I was like, "I'll be the judge of that 😒" sakjfjdsfls anyway I just watched it and oh my GOD YOU WERE RIGHT it was such a cute movie! I think both films have great characters and themes but Luca's plot was kinda weaksauce compared to Wish Dragon. Also Wish Dragon had a bisexual colored dragon, so that's an automatic win in my book

LUCY this made me so happy!! I am rarely right about anything so I appreciate your affirmation haha. If I made one more person watch Wish Dragon I am thrilled, and that you liked it? Even better!!! Luca was so cute too but this one with the platonic friendship and bisexual coloured dragon and the beautiful animation deserves more love than I was seeing so yay!