#it was so fuckin good for what it was tho
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bad news gamers
#meow meows#roblox#not the first time its happened ill be honest#when i was younger i frequented this game called pears to pears which was an uno clone byyyyyy alexneutron i think?#and when i came back to the site after a few years it was deleted. like i couldnt find a trace of it#so when i saw unofficial i was like yeah nah thats a ticking time bomb#it was so fuckin good for what it was tho#im glad i got to play and make memories w friends even if its gone now and i kinda knew it was fated to disappear
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we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.
"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."
i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.
you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"
i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.
what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.
i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.
"don't make a big deal about this," you said.
this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.
"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.
you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."
the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.
afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."
#spilled ink#writeblr#i'm trying to write about this really specific and wierd new experience#that i think is specific to the internet generation#where people you trust can just... say whatever??? and while most people are trustworthy#sometimes they'll just like... put ur shit out there????#and the thing is that sometimes it's GOOD - i want you to tell ppl if ur partner is being cruel!!!!!#i want u to be like ''hey is it normal if xyz happens'' ... but stuff like ''she's afraid of the dark''#PARTICULARLY when it's CLEARLY making fun of me....#what is the point of that.#this is huge and complicated and happens outside of romantic relationships too btw#like someone u thought of as a friend will be like . oh did u know she's scared of heights and it's like.#girl why are u fuckin doing that tho?#it's not a SECRET i just ...???????????????????????#and i think that gross feeling of like -- ''i can't REALLY be upset bc there's not a TRUE RULE about this....''#it's just not something talked about. bc it's so specific and yet so complex#bc how could i say like '' this is a violation of trust'' when it... technically I GUESS isn't????????????#idk maybe im just like super sensitive but please tell me in the comments/tags/etc if this is#something u have experienced (a trusted person like spreading ur shit) and if u were cool with it
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showing off the commission i got from @ruporas for my fic, In the Next Life!
i'm still so incredibly excited about this. it's been some months since the story event that caused these scars, but i wanted SO BADLY to be able to see what they'd actually Look like... & Here They Are.
ruporas rendered the scars So Well, i just cant stop Looking at them... there's a Fresh & a Healed version, which ruporas was kind enough to give me without additional charge (Thank U Again😭😭) so i get to see what it looks like at different stages.
Lichtenberg Figures. in terms of actual scarring, lightning strikes that people survive don't tend to leave permanent scars, but the lichtenberg figures that they (usually temporarily) leave behind are just So Cool... Now, what happens when you get someone who can survive an amount of electricity/lightning that would be Frankly Lethal to any normal human person?
This :]
#speculation nation#trigun#vash the stampede#vash#in the next life#itnl shit#itnl art#there's a certain amount of Suspension Of Disbelief surrounding this whole injury#do i think it's necessarily realistic? not really. but the fun thing about fiction (especially for a nonhuman character like vash) is#I Do What I Want.#and so i DID shoot him with (what shouldve been) a lethal amount of lightning and it DID leave him with (what wouldve been) 4th degree burn#but his healing ability is fucking insane so it really only put him out of commission for a week or so#functionally. he's still dealing with pain from it though (not that he's gonna admit That to anyone) but yeah#im so in love with how ruporas drew the scars overlapping. he mentioned he did research for it and MAN it really paid off#and. man. vash really does look Chewed the Fuck Up huh#ultimately tho just one more scar for the collection! it just happens to be.. the most extensive single scar lol#but he'll be fiiine he's totally fiiine (pay no attention to the world-weary look in his eyes)(he's totally fine guys everything is Fine)#alternate caption for this commission piece: Chewing on him Chewing on him Chewing on him#god ruporas's art is so fuckin good. best money ive ever spent
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Say it’s likely there will be a Brokeback Mountain reference in s5 and nobody bats an eye.
Say it’s likely that the final byler fight will be inspired by this scene and society goes wild.
#byler#we could’ve had a good life together!#a fuckin' real good life!#had us a place of our own#but you didn’t want it ennis!!#so what we got now is brokeback mountain!!#that part#it just takes me straight to the repetition of them wanting to play games together for the rest of their lives#how they’ve been sort of hiding behind this idea that really is about them wanting to be with each other#the way it’s focused on in their s3 fight#and then Will bringing it up AGAIN in s4 light heartedly and Mike sort of just being somber about it#and what follows right after it…#idk brokeback mountain might support that Mike knew Will was lying about the painting (unserious) (but no actually)#Dimitri @ Yuri lying about what is wrong with the plane#(even tho we know he’s hiding the truth in his pocket)#: you know it to be true. and yet you continue to play tricks!!#😀😀😀#and society goes wild#so I think the scenes will be identical?#no that’s not the point#one word gesture or even costume design could pay homage to it for a second during their final fight#with a mention of playing games together for the rest of their lives#and what that actually has meant this whole time…#and it’s a wrap
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ah that holiday depression
#just doesn't really matter does it#people who have big nice organized christmasses: good for you#do not show me pictures.#do not tell me what you ate.#i will probably be eating toast for christmas dinner.#i don't live alone i just have divorced parents#and one is going to hawaii and the other didn't invite me over so i'll just.#be here i guess.#wrap presents for other people lmao which i do enjoy doing !#wish i could open something tho. just for fun#sigh... online orders could fulfill this need... unwrap something from ugly road-dirty plastic... i guess...#fuckin scrooge up in this bitch#ok also i started drawing a bit and it's UGLY and that made me UPSET#hurgle says things#i also haven't really slept in a few days bc i've been at work asjhbsgbsbgbs selling things to christmas people.#but that's definitely a factor#like this is 100% just that nighttime disease#but i feel sad about it !
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experimentin w shit heehee
#fake peppino#arts#mine#horror#eye strain#guh#body horror#a lil tho but i just think thats a more commonly blacklisted tag than 'horror'#spooky month is the only time im like. i guess i should TRY to draw spooky shit#i always feel like my style is too loose and roumnd to convey it in the way i want to#but spooky month is like okay u can fuck around and fuck up and itll still be good. the spirit of spookyness n all that#i love horror so much but it feels so hard to grasp. like what is ACTUALLY scary yknow?#its very easy to say whats not scary but then its also so hard to stop urself from doing the same things lol#to be fair. stories and 'motion' (through the use of comics or animations) are far easier ways to convey things like suspense n stuff#still art is like. well that is an image alright lol#not entirely true tho; theres an artist i dont know the name of that did trailcam images that were photorealistic#and theyre sooooooooo fuckin creepy#like when i get around to doing more fp art i wanna use that and the lighting in it as practice#okay thats it i think; gonna draw furry shit bc i need comms yay yippeeeeeee
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OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever
#jrwi fanart#cw blood#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#arthur bennett#OUHH THIS ONE WAS SITTING IN MY WIPS FOR SO LOOOONGwhen i took it out there was mould on it :sob:#BUT i think i was able to fix it up okay#i keep seeing SO MANY MISTAKES RRAAAHHH BUT YOU DONT SEE THEM RIGHT?? THATS ONLY ME. RIGHT?? EXACTLY.#THE KEY IS TO SAY. AND REPEAT AFTER ME. 'FUUUCK IT WE BALL#so anyway. arthur bennett huh? grizzly says that arthur is reaal fuckin difficult to play. and i SUPER get that. i mean LOOK AT HIM..#grizz often needs a minute to think abt what hes gonna say in a way that matches w that Stoic Personality. which is FAIR but also that#ends up making way for awkward confrontations like: the lady in the parky lot. he took too long to answer and scared her away.& I LOVE THAT#arthur is tragic and sad and cool and stoic but hes ALSO awkward and silly and kinda dumb and short sighted. HE HAS COMPLEXITIES#I LOVE WHEN TTRPG CHARACTERS HAVE A GOOD SET OF SHORTCOMINGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN U FIND THEM ONLY AS U PLAY THEM.#I COULd go on and on saying the same things w different words abt arthurs intriguing and entertaining character but i shall spare u. for no#ILL ALSO MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS FLAVOR THO.. I LOVE TALL HOT BOY WHOS ONE W THE DARKNESS.. I REMEMBER WHEN HE FIRST MENTIONED THE#BADLUCK. N I WAS LIKE OOOHH THATS WHY HIS DESIGN IS SO COOL N CHAOTIC N ASYMMETRICAL. HES UNLUCKY!!! i love love love his design so much...#GRaaauruguguraguhhghghgh what else what else is there for me to spew on abt...i think im reachin a limit here..OH MAGNUS. i hope that#we get to know more abt how magnus and arthur met.. like How they became besties... ouuhh... I ALSO WANNA KNOW MORE ABT MARY DAVIS. LIKEHOW#he also apparently spent alotta time in a zone dominated by edward twilight? all he remembers is constant partying? I WANNA KNOW MORE..#i think i got room 4 one more ramble SO. THE ART PIECE.as i said its gone a lil stale BUT. im still very proud o the bits where hes allScar#I WANNA SEE HIM GET SCARYMORE. I like the idea of shadows solidifying to make him strange and eerie.like TEETH n CLAWS n SPINES n YESS#also the SILVER EYES.no1 does silver eyes like the show Claymore. they make em look so striking and eerie...i also like to think that#human arthur had deep beautiful brown eyes.just in my beaitufl heart.i mean look at him..i wanna cook him n eat him.ANYWAY#i think thats all my ramblin for this piece. now i gotta go cancel a single day i had ata hotel bc my work schedule change last minute FUCK#feel free to ramble in my tags aswell tho i read all of them and i chew on thenm and i love them so sos os mcuh
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thinking of the emissary watching asha decay an applecore in her fist and grow maggots from it, watching her reach up into the tree and feed them to the only birds they've seen in a lone tree trapped in aeor. thinking of her disappearing into the holes between its roots and the emissary walking up to the nest, peering in and saying: "bird, she bears her teeth, but i know what mother sees in her" and then following after asha. ......... inconsolable
#thinking of the moment in combat they fought together#thinking of asha telling little lies and because little lies are okay and maybe perhaps maybe saying shes glad the emissary is there#stumbled out of the episode covered in blood btw#kiddo say#cr spoilers#“bird she bears her teeth but i know what mother sees in her” is saur good. does something to my brain#i love the emissary soooo much . he is apples#also the scenes with silaha (also that little fuckin imp lmao) and emhira and ayden and trist were all so good too im just insane#the little imp did make me absolutely lose it tho .... “yey!”
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reading Krakoa era out of order bc reading lists online make it confusing and my local library only has so many books
just as god intended right on my friend you're doing everything right and don't let anyone tell you otherwise
#snap chats#the key to reading comic books isnt to read them in order or even all of them just the ones you like#until eventually someone tells you some wack as hell fact about an issue and then you go read that one#many such cases why do you think i picked up onslaught revelation. cause that fucker is back#why do you think i picked up wolverine number 3 because my beautiful wife is hammered for two pages in it#brother was just talkin to me casually bout onslaught one day and i was like NO FUCKIN WAY thats how you do it !!!!!!!!#like the first krakoa story i read technically was resurrection of magneto followed by the trial of magneto#clearly we see i had an agenda vjALKJKLAJ BUT STILL#it was STILL a really good run ... i could piece together enough of the background before then and really enjoyed it on its own#with that said tho it was very cool/funny to see crumbs Of trial of magneto in way of x#BUT NOW I HAVE LEGION OF X HAHAAAA i cant wait to properly sit and read it ..... after i get through my New Mutants issues ....#i got those a while ago but i kept putting off reading them ... oops ..... i read the first one at least#i was gonna say something but i forgot. oh no i didnt i remember thats what i love about comic books#because theres So Many and so many timelines and stories it invites a lot of community interaction#just to be like 'oh hey did you know This happened in This issue you should check it out'. thats beautiful#even if. its to talk about utter dog shit like she lies with angels BUT STILL ITS COMMUNITY !!!!! we can be lovers AND haters together <3#its why i love getting physical comics too. i mean i dont have friends or people who visit me LOL#but i like the idea of bringing up what i have and letting people borrow it. community ......
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I wanted to draw my own take on ART-as-a-presence-in-the-feed but struggled with what path to take for A While bc all I had was that I was adamant about a winding, serpentine body, too large to take in at once and So Good at piling upon your shoulders with weight that's either overwhelming or comforting, take your pick
And then I brought in the hexagons and everything just worked
(They let me give it a face without an actual face, make for a good shorthand to show that it's talking/present in potential future art, and as a bonus serve as an homage to JWST bc hey, science!)
Partially brought to you by a whole lot of listening to Satellite by Starset
#ive hit the 'i just wanna stop looking at it' phase tho so here. take it#digital art#fanart#murderbot#the murderbot diaries#asshole research transport#character design#somehow this is what taught me how to make custom brushes in krita (it was for the face hexagons)#okay i am fuckin Tired but im still reeling from Network Effect and i care these two dipshits so much#i picked orange for ART to contrast Murderbots blue#but unfortunately also bc its been stuck in my brain as orange-aligned from the moment it appeared#bc my first impression was 'oh youre like simaris but not fuckin infuriating'#which is a Very unfair comparison btw bc i cant fuckin stand simaris but i love ART dearly#also a million other reasons but yeah. sorry bud you got assigned orange at introduction#at some point during the desing process it also had a whole bunch of hands since its controlling so many things at once with ease#but i had no way to make that look good and keep with the original vision of 'annoying long weighted blanket'
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Huevember Day 4 (a week late but i wont tattle if you dont...)
No I will literally NEVER shut up about these twins and how they were given one of the most horrific backstories in the entire show and it just. NEVER GETS ADDRESSED. Dang. TFA really has the best fridge horror <3
#my art#huevember#maccadam#tfa#huevember day 4#huevember 2023#jettwins#jetfire#tfa jetfire#fire tw#explosion tw#i- i actually REALLY like how this came out holy heck#i wouldve included jetstorm but he wouldve looked a bit weird being in the orange hue#accidentally put my headmate through a bit of a bad time while making this bUT HES OKAY NOW SORRY J ILY#Youre gonna take this goddamn glow pen out of my cold dead hands i love glow effects SO fuckin much#and hey just beat my 2020 record of only doing 3 huevembers!!#srsly tho 'Find me someone expendable' is deadass a canon line said by ULTRA MAGNUS what the FUCK#love when the autobots arent always 100% good like they do war crimes too damn
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okay like. i haven’t read a lot. crippling undiagnosed adhd and probably memory issues have kept me from consuming books since like elementary school. i probably finished one assigned novel in high school and i finally finished a whole novel for fun last year. i’m churning through moby dick slowly atm, but as a decent editor and writer and hence someone associated with the writing community and seeing those booktok recs or whatever…
girl tell me why the first book i open. starts with a fucking. spotify playlist. like, i was Aware that these books were wattpad-level. but i didnt think it was THAT wattpad holy shit
#and i dont tend to judge music taste either#but let’s just say im looking at half of these artists on this playlist. and i can already Tell#also for context since i know people can bitch#it’s not that i DIDNT read during that time#i tried so fuckin hard to read. it’s just i would power thru a chunk. then have to put it down. and then by the time id be able to pick it#up again. i’d have forgotten everything and would have to start over again. eg i restarted the chopin bibliography i have like 3 times#i read quite a few short stories tho#the one book in high school was the wars btw. fuck i cant remember the author. timothy smth. but it was very good#anyways. just had to rant bc i wanna see Just How Bad It Is since i technically Am kinda working in a writing-community-adjacent thing#and need to see for myself. how bad this is. i just cant get past the spotify playlist im gonna cry#a while back i tried kinda reading bits of love hypothesis and god. GOD. HFNGNGNNGG#so i already have a suspicion for what im in for#but i need to see MORE of the bad smut people are calling prose or whatever#mandont
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dav update: ok I think my brainworms are safe. It sucks.
#texted post#it just doesnt feel like a dragon age idk...and also dear god WHY ARE THERE SO MANY CUTSCENES AND TINY AREAS#LET ME PLAY!!!!#almost feels like one of those video games for people who dont play video games. where its. just a movie. it wants to be a movie so badly#tho they did completely rehaul the combat to be more like the soulsborne esques n shit#so thats actually making it more engaging#except its not really what traditionally made DAs combat unique...#character creators pretty good I guess lmao#I could make my square(ka)#maybe Im just outgrowing the standard fantasy rpg idk I got bored w bg3 as well even tho I liked divinity II when it came out#I THINK it was probably bcus of how very dnd the mechanics were but. writing was also kinda whatever#N ANOTHER THING the characters keep fucking repeating the same obvious shit thats just been stated#im not 4 I can read the room guys#actually not done yet ALSO ITS SO CLEARLY MADE W CONSOLES IN MIND UGH#fuckin hold down buttons to confirm things and JUMP IS F........... cmon
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GURL U KNOW I MISS U, I JUST WANNA KISS U BUT I CANT RIGHT NOW SO BABYY, KISS ME THRU THE PHONNEEE!!!!
I wanna thank @/808gigawatt again for the nice pics of the chair!! :)
Also the original pic. Uhh the Kale drawing is filpped cuz I drew his hair on the wrong side haha
#myart#Hi-fi Rush#Hi-fi Rush Kale#Lemme have a moment but the way I drew his facee and hair!! Ughh so good!!!#Especially HIS NOSE!!#Ughh I love his nose#Now his chair was a fuckin bitch to draw#It was my enemy holy shit#But I think it looks alright lol. Did the best I could#Also what if he just looks like this when he calls for his cortado lol#But who IS he calling tho? 🤨#ANYWAYS I hope yall like this!! I put my sweat and balls in this one lol
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went through all of your three fics and omfggggg they're by far the best topgun fanfics out there. no contest. are you still posting here? cuz i have a small question. If your maverick grew up in texas, wouldn't he have a southern accent? does he repress it? has ice ever heard him speak southern?
not the same thing
#to be fair: I have not ever stepped foot in Texas (I am a coastal liberal Elite). so im making this up.#but I have met many ppl from Dallas and they sound like me (Californian/hollywood “American” accent)#maverick is from Dallas because:#1. Dallas patch on his g-1 flight jacket (this is the most conclusive evidence imo)#2. Dallas Mavericks basketball team#3. tom cruise's p-51d/f-6k was originally built in dallas which is good metaphorically#I feel like there was a fourth reason at some point but I forgor 💀#the weed smoking scene is the most poser thing I've ever written and I've written a lot of poser shit#makes me fuckin laughhhhh to read it again omfg#written before I remembered that active duty personnel have to take drug tests periodically#thats what being the base captain is good for! 'ehhh lets skip me this month...'#I am not really still posting here unforch#am slowly updating/editing wwgattai chapter by chapter on ao3 tho. have added like 7k already 💀#pete maverick mitchell#tom iceman kazansky
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sorry to everyone i tell a fic idea to that they get excited about bc i'm so bad at finishing a fic but i can offer you the start of the 8 new fics i've started this week with 0 plans on how to finish them if you would like
#rip to mushroom and spurious#i swear they must wake up to a new fuckin fic idea from me like every other day#me three days ago: omg so there's this fic i started-#me yesterday: so i had this new idea-#me today: omg so guess what i just started writing-#it's literally a curse#no one is allowed to look in my writing folders#they're shameful#i have too many fucking wips#help#how do you finish a wip#asking for a friend 😭#they're all amazing ideas tho#like evil dictator mcshep bc elizabeth actually dies in the storm/the eye#or ford adopting a puppy and coming home bc of it#or johm ascending and bonding with atlantis to help her run#listen i have nothing but good fics ideas#i'm just. less good at actually writing them to completion#we can't all be perfect okay i need some flaws#anyways#writer struggles#personal rambles#kinda stargate
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