#it was so bad last night

[cherrysnax]

cats subreddit is helping a bit

[axoqiii]

augh

[chloesimaginationthings]

The Mikes and Vanessas celebrate 10 years of FNAF!

[lesamis]

If you're up for it could you explain what is making the Germany government stuff so funny? I can find news articles about it (a coalition is dissolving? There's been tension for a while?) but they're all fairly serious. Thx!

ohhh, sure thing! i'll do my best!

i'll say upfront: this is a pretty serious thing to happen. our chancellor fired our minister of finance, Lindner, which definitively breaks up the governing coalition. germany will likely have snap elections at a moment in which far-right parties are polling extremely well. if news coverage about it seems like people are Worried, that's because, well, they are.

however. the reason it's funny is because our minister of finance was fired. ministers aren't really... ever fired. like, it's not a done thing. i'll fully admit i didn't even know it was an option until yesterday. and our minister of finance wasn't just anyone, he was one of the most mocked and hated figures in politics to germans who vote anywhere left of center.

the coalition that governed until yesterday was made up of the green party, the social democrats, and the neoliberal party (FDP). the FDP is infamous (and i mean, my parents already raised me to hate them for that) for playing kingmaker in coalition governments: they never get all that many votes, but they get just enough that whoever they agree to form a government with will probably succeed. they then tend to force extreme concessions from their coalition partners, because hey, if we walk off, you can't govern at all! so you better play along!

for the past three years, this behaviour has been extremely frustrating for germans who voted for greens or social democrats, because policy from their faction was constantly being blocked by the FDP and often by Lindner personally. the FDP received 11,5% of votes in 2021, but to many of us, it felt as if they were the only party who really had any say in the governing coalition. it made the green and social democratic coalition partners look spineless and passive.

and now, i invite you to imagine how on the day of the US election results, the day the whole world rolled their eyes at the sheer fucking stupidity and pointlessness of it all, at NINE IN THE EVENING, just as germans are getting ready to settle in to bed to dream of nightmare global politics -

the news suddenly breaks that our notoriously invisible chancellor just decided to fire Lindner for that exact behaviour. this chancellor comes out and says, on camera, to the entire sleepy nation, that acting the way Lindner did - blocking necessary policies, refusing to approve budgets unless his party's interests were met - was childish, selfish, irresponsible, and unfit for government, so, whoops, he had to go. shame. coalition over, i guess.

so, politically, that was a long-needed but never-expected moment of triumph for those of us who think the FDP is a clown show made up of human TESLA shares, and it came at a hysterically funny moment.

on a personal level, i can barely explain how uniquely hateable Lindner has always been. he's what would happen if a stock index graph came to life. he hates poor people with a relish; he mocks welfare recipients and would ax minimum wages in a second. he's everyone's business major roommate who shows up in boat shoes fresh off a yacht to discuss NFTs with you. throughout the entire time that he's used his rich boy policy blackmail strategy, he's been smug about it, and he was never taken to task for it, and millions of germans have been longing to throw rotten fruit in his face since 2017. and now we finally get to do it. via memes. on the day of trump's election win.

so that's why it's funny.

[silvykinesis]

We’ll go together 💙

[luxris]

it’s hard to summarise just what this show means to me. it’s brought me endless joy and inspiration, as well as introduced me to some of my closest friends. it will forever hold a very, very special place in my heart.

thank you, bad batch 🖤

[crybaby-bkg]

I think Deku has a bit of a mean streak, actually. he’s no Bakugou—that’s for sure—but he’s not this innocent, sweet angel baby that the media has painted him out to be. but you only catch it when you least expect it, when you’re pushing his nerves, when the stakes to everything around him are high, when he’s tired of endless sleepless nights and just—snaps.

“Oh?” you go, grin unfurling like some grinch, chin resting on your hands as you leer at him from across his expansive desk. “You’re mean.” your words are teasing, a snarl that curls your mouth up. Deku stutters, eyes going wide, jaw snapping shut in surprise as he tries to think back on how rude he just sounded.

“No, I’m not—I mean, you wouldn’t stop and I just—there’s a lot on my plate right now—and you just—you keep on—I’m not—I’m not mean.” He’s sputtering, hands all over the place, the glasses perched on the bridge of his nose falling even lower with how he jabbers on and on. it’s endearing really, to see how he tries to upkeep his image of being so kind and understanding, even though his nostrils just flared at you. and his eyebrows turned down and he gritted at you, his hands were balled into fists, his words were so nasty, so ugly, so unbecoming for Deku.

you liked it. loved it even—vowed to get him like this every single fucking second that you could.

you pick and poke at him whenever you see him, teasing him and pulling at him. pushing him around even though the hero is so much stronger than you, so much bigger. and he lets you, tries to defend himself but—that’s not what you want. you want the ugliness, the snark, the mean.

he snaps, eventually, when you least expect it. grabs you up in black whip when you go to push him against the wall for the third time in only a minute, his eyes suddenly dark, the aura of the room suddenly charged.

“That’s what I was looking for.” you whisper to him, the grin spreading your face quickly dissipating in only seconds when you become the prey. when you become the one pushed up against the wall with teeth at your neck, a hand in your underwear, bullying your hole with too thick fingers.

“Why do you want me to act like this? Be so mean to you, huh?” he sounds so frustrated with himself, with you, growling and nipping and licking when you don’t answer quick enough. but your breath is caught in your lungs because finally—finally, did you get what you wanted. it just took a little bit of pushing, you suppose.

[strange-aeons]

See him face :)

[fiendishartist2]

whats going on up there

[jjsgirly]

please, baby? promise i'll play nice … needy!bsf!jj maybank ! 18+, mdni. ༄.°

"baby, pleaseeee?" the blond above you whined as you stared at your phone, his large frame tucked between your legs that were spread to accommodate his size.

you lifted your gaze from your phone screen to the ocean-colored eyes of your best friend, narrowing them as you saw his bottom lip jutted out into a small pout, puppy-eyed and looking down at you with a pleading expression.

"no, jay. 'm too sore." you stated, going back to your phone, and heard an audible whine push past his lips along with an incoherent mumble that you were sure was protesting your answer.

jj had a tendency to get... rough. very rough. like a dog. he deemed it "cuteness aggression, but, like, for your pussy," and boy, was it fucking aggressive. he didn't mean to be so hard and mean with the way he bullied his cock into your soft, puffy pussy, watching as it swallowed every inch of it and the way it weeped around him, but he couldn't exactly help himself, either.

"please, ma? pretty please? 'm dyin' here. want you s'bad, please?" he continued in his pursuit to make you fold and give him what he wanted, and you knew he wanted it bad; you could feel his ache pressing against the thin fabric of your shorts, right up against your heat.

you shook your head, clearly not relenting, scrolling through your phone nonchalantly as if jj wasn't even there, which only made him pout and whine more, beginning to rut his hips forward like a dog in heat, and you still remained deadpan.

"please, please, please—god—please? need it, ma, want your pussy s'bad. so, so, so fuckin' bad," he groaned out, bringing his body down and leaned in closer, his large hands stabilizing himself by grasping your thighs, his fingers pushing into your skin, bucking his hips a bit faster against your clothed cunt, drawing out whines from the back of his throat. "need her, baby. please, please? pretty please?"

it was getting a lot harder to act like nothing was happening as you felt your panties becoming dampened with your slick and jj's incessant begging ringing in your ears like tinnitus. you tried, though, to pretend as if it wasn't affecting you, as you had already given him your answer: a big, fat, firm no.

he was getting a bit impatient, frustrated with the fact you weren't letting up and giving him what he so desperately needed. couldn't you see how badly he needed you wrapped around his cock? feel how badly he needed you clenching around him and pulling load after load from him? god, he needed it like he needed air. to say he was desperate was an understatement, but he didn't like how it sounded, as he often got teased by both jb and pope for being a clingy dog around you, so throwing desperate in front of it made him feel a bit pathetic—needy worked just fine though. he was needy for you.

"c'mon, baby doll. please? please, baby? promise i'll play nice. won't be mean. i'll be nice n' gentle; treat you like a princess. please, please, please?" he countered this time, leaning in even closer and lowering your phone out of the way with his chin, now looking at you in the eyes, humping you like it'd be the last time he got to, pouting still.

as you gazed up at him, feeling the way his cock nudged against your warm, drippy pussy through the fabric of your shorts, barely separating the two of you, the longer it went on, the more you started to falter. you put your phone aside and leaned back against your pillows more, your once soured expression twisting with a hint of pleasure, and jj noticed, a smirk edging at his lips.

"i'll be good, promise. cross my heart n' hope to die, princess. just need to feel you squeezin' the fuckin' life out of my dick with this pretty pussy of yours. she wants me too, don't she?" he crooned wantonly, his gaze dropping to between your legs, a wet spot having been formed on your shorts, soaking a bit into his cargos, and he sucked in a sharp breath, followed by a low chuckle.

"yeah she fuckin' does. so, please?" he asked again, for the final time, and peered up through his blond bangs, directly into your eyes with his signature smirk, and you felt all of your resolve crumble away, rolling your eyes and groaning quietly, yielding.

as soon as that "fine" left those sweet lips of yours, jj wasted no time in shedding both of your guys' clothes and plunging his cock into your soaked cunt, lolling his head back like he had just seen god and groaned loudly.

and no. he didn't play nice.

© jjsgirly on tumblr ! do not copy or transfer my work onto any other platform, please.

likes, comments, & reblogs are very much appreciated. ♡

[gayafsowhat]

Eepy hours

[manchesterau]

the switch into and out of sister daniel is like watching a performance

[torisprlng]

GOOD OMENS: 2X05 || DOCTOR WHO: 1X06

[royalarchivist]

Tubbo: Phil, should we just pick someone and target them and make sure they don't get in?

Phil: Jesus. No??? [Laughs]

Tubbo: Ok, sorry, I just wondering if we were on the same wavelength–

Phil: It's against the rules, first of all!

Tubbo: How is targeting against the rules???

Phil: It's literally against the rules.

Roier: [Starts messing around with his soundboard] 🔊💥

Phil: Alright, target Roier. I'm kidding– [Cracks up laughing]

[fernsnailz]

i don't know how to describe how much i love sonic battle's endings with words so i made a comic about it

epilogue:

[yangjeongin]

6 YEARS WITH STRAY KIDS — #Youtiful6YearsOfSKZ