#it was proof that axels new start was working out! and then

[chainsawworld]

I ever tell yous about my hospital drama

[valorousvirtue]

Axel grew up in a relatively good home. Both of his parents worked hard to give hm everything he wanted. He was the oldest so he always felt like he had to be the protector of everyone. But as he got older he had wanted to go into something that had really shown him the way things were, and the way things could be for him. He started up his own business at the age of eighteen and has worked up from there. He was best friend with Michael Dean, and they had a someone they wanted him to meet, as his marriage to Kimberly was really going nowhere. It would be just as friends for now, until he could figure out just where everything with Kimberly was going because he wanted out, but she was stringing him along as if she had nothing else to do. But when he met Victoria, everything clicked and he realized that is exactly what he was missing. Victoria was everything he had been looking for.

Axel has been through a lot before meeting Victoria. He was with someone named Kimberly James and she and him, they weren’t really meshing well. For a while, it was good. It was really good until it wasn’t. They started to just be together to be together, as they had a child. He wanted to try to make it work but there was no love there anymore. It was the hardest. Kimberly started seeing someone else, and so that gave him the motivation to start the divorce and of course in Kimberly fashion, she wanted to drag it out. She wanted to make sure he was stuck as long as he could be, which wasn’t fair. But it was finally done and that wasn’t without a fight for his daughter.

Kimberly wanted to be that person and take Harper away from him. Axel was devastated. He wasn’t used to being away from his daughter. Plus, Kimberly wasn’t one to take care of anyone but herself, and Axel along with Victoria fought hard to get Harper back and finally his ex-wife gave her back and that is when their family was finally feeling complete in a way. He was much happier and Harper she had settled in better then he expected and Victoria and her, they got along well. Victoria treated her as her own and that is how Axel knew that he was going to marry her. Sure, they have bene together for a year, but being with Victoria was better then being with anyone else, and he meant that. So, the next step was starting a family together. Now that everything else was set in stone. But it hasn’t been easy.

Things at home have been stressful. Not because of Victoria and himself, but just things happening. He had an idea of who it was, but he couldn’t really pinpoint exactly who it was without proof. Their tires have been getting slashed. They have been getting prank calls to the house, and someone has been getting into their house. Axel was doing everything to make sure everyone in the house was safe, but it was hard when he didn’t know what was going on next. Which all of this added stress has put stress on Victoria and she hasn’t been able to carry longer then a few months when she finally did get pregnant. So, they have decided to get some test done and see just what was going on.

Axel wanted Harper to have a sibling, so she didn’t have to grow up alone. So she could have someone to just be with, and yet, they could never figure out why they couldn’t get past a few months. Axel felt for Tori and hoped that they could get some answers and try to get to a point where they could carry. They had test done, and Axel and Tori had waited patiently, as possible really, and they were getting the results that day. Hearing the news, his heart sank. He knew it was impossible for her to carry, but there were other options, but he knew it would take time. His main focus was his wife and seeing what she needed. She was the one at a bigger loss then him and he didn’t know what he could do to help make things better.

He helped Tori into the car after walking from the hospital, and he slipped into the driver side after getting her settled in and he started the car and started the what seemed like a long journey home. He could tell Tori was thinking and he was going to let her come to him and see what they can work through together and see just what was going on. His hand reaches over and Axel places it gently onto her thigh and he wants to give her some sort of comfort in a time where they both need it. “I don’t know babe. I really don’t know. I wish I could do something. I wish there was something I could do to take this burden off of you. But we will be okay. We will get through this.”

He didn’t really know what else to say, but as they got closer to the house, his speed dropped as the speed limit did the same and he pulled into the driveway and turned the car off and finally turned his body towards her and his hand left her thigh and combed her hair back behind her hear. “I Love you. That won’t change. Just, we will take the time we need and see what other options there are for us okay? But right now, let me take care of you. What do you need when we get into the house?” He was going to take care of Tori and make sure he knew he loved her more now then the day he met her.

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒓𝒐𝒄𝒌𝒚 𝒓𝒐𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒅 𝒖𝒏𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆.

Victoria Juliet Lawrence had always been quite headstrong, but as a child, she was heavily bullied which ended up silencing her for a while. She didn’t talk much and kept to herself. Alesha - her older sister - defended her but as time got on and the girls got older, Tori would have to learn to fight her own battles. She made one close friend and that was Alexa Carpenter. They spent all their time together and soon, the bullying didn’t bother Tori too much because she had Alexa but at just 16 years old, Tori witnessed something that changed the person she was growing up to be.

Tori and Alexa were walking home from an after school club. Alexa was set to sleep over at Tori’s tonight due to her parents being out of town, but as they were approaching Tori’s house, two men walked up behind the girls and grabbed them by their waists. Tori managed to bite his arm and he screamed, letting her go but the other guy had Alexa tightly in his grasp. The two men now focused on getting just Alexa as she was too restrained to fight back. Tori’s friend yelled at her to get help, so Tori memorised everything about the scene before running home and finding her older sister.

She repeated the licence plate to the car the whole way home, remembered the men were head to toe in black and their rough heights and builds and the second she came through the front door, she shouted for Alesha. After explaining what had happened, Alesha got in the car with her little sister in the passenger side and drove to the scene where there was nothing but 2 backpacks on the ground and tire tracks on the road. 

The police arrived and took the bags as evidence. They interviewed Tori the next day and despite her impressive memory on that licence plate, it was no help. The plate was stolen and Tori had a vague description on the men due to them being covered head to toe. They had CCTV of Tori running away but not of the kidnapping. A year passed and there were no new leads. Tori was heartbroken and had covered the town in flyers. Alesha had even paid for a memorial plaque that read a very heartfelt message from Tori. She placed flowers there every week, praying her best friend would come back, but she didn’t. 

The following year, the case was declared cold and 18 year old Tori was fuming. She had found the memorial place for Alexa vandalised that same night and broke down in tears until Alesha found her and brought her home. For a while, she was lost and broken but she eventually used that to work towards a career. She worked her hardest to become a cold case detective so that she could prevent this pain from affecting others like it had her. She got a psychology degree, worked through the police academy and quickly made her way through the ranks. At 24 years old, she was the youngest homicide detective in Seattle and whilst it wasn’t where she wanted to be, it helped her get her foot in the door.

At 25, she became a cold case detective after a huge solve in homicide. 3 early adult females had shown up, with all the same dirt samples under their nails and clothing that was almost identical. Tori worked that case to the bare bones and found the farm where teenage girls were being sold. She took down the entire operation and reunited many families, finally moving into cold cases as she had dreamed of since being a teenager herself.

With working so much, she didn’t focus on her dating life at all. It wasn’t until her older sister set her up with @valorousvirtue​ that she took any interest. He was a friend of Alesha’s husband and the manager of a high end construction company. He was married to Kimberly James - an OB/GYN from Seattle - at the time but trying to get divorced. Tori and Axel fell in love but stayed friends until Axel could finalise his divorce. Axel had a daughter to think about so Tori wasn’t going to ruin that.

Kimberly was furious when she saw Tori and Axel hanging around together and eventually, she signed the divorce papers. She then disappeared and took Harper, their daughter, with her. She was five at the time but when Kimberly realised how hard taking care of a child was, she gave her back to Axel again. Tori and Axel finally got together and after a year of dating, they got married. They wanted nothing more than to start a family now but Tori was having fertility issues. 

It didn’t matter how hard they tried, they just couldn’t seem to carry to term. Tori always miscarried early on and it was breaking her heart, so she decided to go and have some tests done. Everything had been stressful at home, with things like slashed tires, prank calls to the house and their personal mobiles and breaking and entering in the middle of the night that Tori believed it might just be because of that, but not knowing was driving her nuts, so after talking with Axel, they agreed to be tested. 

Axel’s daughter, Harper, was 10 now and wanted a sibling, too. At this point, Tori had made her way through 5 miscarriages and so they decided it was time for these tests. They went and had to wait a week for the results. After that week had passed, Tori and Axel woke up early and made their way to the hospital to see what the doctor had to say. They wanted good news, but it was so far from that… When they arrived, their doctor informed them that they were not able to carry a baby to term and it was now impossible for them to get pregnant. 

Axel helped a heartbroken Tori back into the car before climbing in himself and starting the journey home. Tori looked out of the window, her baggy jumper sleeves pulled right over her hand as she wiped the tears that fell from her eyes. She crossed her legs on the chair of the car, her tracksuit bottoms allowing her the freedom to do so and she sighed heavily, trying to stop herself from sobbing uncontrollably. She took in a shaky breath and spoke for the first time since being given the news.

“I can’t believe this is happening… H-how… H-how is this real?” She whispered through her tears as she stared down at her stomach. She would never have that feeling of a foot kicking her in the middle of the night or the constant need to use the bathroom as a little life pushes against her bladder. She would never be a mother and that feeling was ruining her. She couldn’t wrap her head around it… and the tears just wouldn’t stop flowing. She couldn’t stop crying… Why was this happening to her?

[enhyupn]

start of it!

pairing: jungwon x fem!read (ft a little sunghoon)

disclaimer: there might be a few mistakes here and there since it’s not fully proof read. swear words are mentioned too!

word count: 7.1k+

genre: fluff, angst if you squint, best friends to lovers!au, rich kids!au, slow burn kinda?

a/n this took a while to write but i like how it came out :) i think i got a little carried away but it’s fine i suppose!! i hope you enjoy this longer than necessary fic :]

jungwon and you were always together, then and now. maybe being the children of two most influential families korea helped that, the constant underlying jealousy between the two families made for some interesting dinners. you two were the stereotypical rich kids, top of the class, class president and extremely involved in school. your image was the type other chaebol families would use to compare their children to. maybe that’s why every time you stand at the top of your class to make announcements, all you get are sneers from your classmates as they not so subtly laugh at you. it was inventible nonetheless, if you were in their situation you’d do exactly the same. it didn’t help that you were strict and blunt with your classmates, staying true to the cold and distant chaebol child stereotype.

jungwon the next class over however, was incredibly popular with the people in his class and even yours. you didn’t know how he did it, balancing his studies, taekwondo and still maintaining a good relationship with his class? you looked up to him immensely, even with your parents constantly reminding you that jungwon wasn’t your friend but a pawn from his family to get information on the company. obviously you never believed them, how could jungwon get information from you when all you talk about normal things. normal things like tv shows, books and his taekowndo matches. you wouldn’t know what to do with jungwon, he was your other half and you’d never be able to function properly without him.

dinner was never comfortable at your house, the silence only being broken up by the clattering of utensils and chewing didn’t even help the gloomy and dark aura your father always seemed to radiate. you were the only child and the heir in training to take over the family company. everyone around you had high expectations for you, being number one in everything you ever did allowed people to believe that you were going to skyrocket your family’s company to the number one spot.

“y/n, how was school” your mother always tried so hard to make conversation with you and your father every day. as much as you wished to be close to her, you couldn’t help but feel forced and awkward whenever you replied to her.

“it was good, we got our ranks today” you slowly chewed on the piece of duck you were served, not having the heart or energy to tell anyone that you never really liked the taste of it.

“i’m assuming it’s first place” your father butts in, the serious look in his face never fails to make you flinch in your seat.

“yes father, first place in my class and in school” you couldn’t help but gulp at the mood of the dinner table.

it was always like this after exam season, tension so tight that it was suffocating to be around. even the maids and butlers around the place hated being around your family every time results were announced, the thought of what would happened if you ever got anything lower than first place was terrifying.

“wonderful” a nod from your father was enough for your maids to stop holding in their breaths.

not even a good job? you had grown to learn that your father wasn’t someone that praised others easily. sadly, you had to learn it the hard way. countless memories from your past of you desperately wanting your father’s attention and praise flashed through your eyes. even so, it still hurt every time he wouldn’t acknowledge your achievements.

the ice rink was your special place, second to jungwon undoubtedly. still, you loved being there. it made you feel so free and happy, like all your worries had disappeared whenever you skated. you weren’t the only one that loved the rink, jungwon adored the moments when you would show off a new move you had finally nailed. the look of you being so carefree made him feel overjoyed, knowing he was the only one that could see you like this.

“jungwon did you see that?” a radiant smile appearing on your face after you landed an axel. the sound of your slightly hitting the rink’s barrier slightly scared you before looking up again at the boy.

“yes, and i’ve also seen the other five times you’ve done it” the pout formed on your face from his teasing only brought a larger smile on his face. jungwon’s face suddenly twisted into a confused look as he suddenly remembered a conversation you two had the previous week. “weren’t you struggling on that last week? i remember you telling me that”.

“oh i was!” the pink tinge from your cheeks due to the cold temperature in the air added to your cheerful chatter. “but sunghoon helped me with it”.

“sunghoon?” the name sending an unsettling feeling throughout jungwon’s body. the boy shook it off when he had made eye contact with you once again, your eyes wide with spirit. it was a shame that your classmates couldn’t see this side of you, the cold and scary y/n unironically melting when on the ice.

“sunghoon’s a really talented figure skater in my class!” the admiration in your voice and eyes churned things in jungwon’s stomach. “his triple axel is the most beautiful thing jungwon, you should really see him in action. he gave me some tips and they really worked!”.

“that’s great” jungwon couldn’t understand why he couldn’t feel as elated as you were. shouldn’t he be happy? his best friend perfectly landed something they were working on for a while and he couldn’t even be sincere with his praise? no, it was that boy sunghoon. that’s what was getting him annoyed and bothered, was it jealousy?

“look there he is!” you showed jungwon. the boy had proportions that were perfect, he towered over you and had undeniably incredible looks. jungwon watched as sunghoon’s eyes shined in delight when noticing you. the boy skated over quickly to you in excitement, anyone could tell that he was over the moon to see you.

the jealous feeling jungwon had in him only grew more watching you two. when sunghoon’s skates accidentally took him at a too fast of a pace, you lightly bumped into you. the countless apologies he spit out while you laughed loud and glowing at his ridiculous accident only made jungwon chew his cheek in spite. the unnecessary skin ship you two made didn’t help too, you were holding onto sunghoon’s shoulders in an attempt to stop him from falling again. that’s when jungwon had enough.

“y/n” he called out, catching the attention of the both of you. you turned around holding the same smile you gave sunghoon.

“jungwon?”

“i’ll get going now, dad wants me back home” a pretend smile placed nicely on his lips for you to not suspect something was wrong with him.

“sure!” the corner of your eyes crinkled, you lifted up your hand to wave him off. he was incredibly thankful that you weren’t observant enough to catch his cheerful facade. “tell him my father wants to have dinner with him again too!”.

“i promise”

standing from his seat he lifted his hand to wave you off. the disappointment in his eyes becoming more visible when he realised that you had already turned around. the dejected frown on his face showing up when he caught a glimpse of the boy beside you, laughing and chatting with you with a wide grin. you too having the exact same grin.

you were always the same at school, a blank face while in class and during after school activities. your parents always told you that school was never the time to make friends or have fun, it was for preparing yourself in the future. they drilled into you that everything you did in school would only add to you in the future. if you were to ever fail or do anything that was the opposite of what you were meant to be doing, you would inevitably ruin your future. the unimaginable amount of pressure your parents had given you slowly turned you from crying silently at night in your room to dealing with it with a blank stare on your face.

the only thing that made everything the slightest bit bearable was jungwon, you met him during breaks and lunch and even walked with him to your after school programmes. the feeling of being isolated by your class could only be ignored when you were with him.

“i don’t get how you do it” you stared at him in admiration. jungwon was practicing his taekwondo as you watched him, it was a routine you had every morning before school started. the boy chuckled as he continues doing his warm up.

“says you, you’re number one in our school plus you skate pretty too. everyone would love to be you”.

“no! that’s different” a growing blush tinted your cheeks, the small compliment makes you shy due to the fact jungwon never compliments you. “i don’t get how you balance taekwondo, your social life and still get good grades? plus have a good relationship with your family”.

“oh” jungwon’s smile faltered at the mention your parents. he always has felt guilty knowing the fact he can’t do anything to help you besides distract you from your parent’s extreme expectations. “i don’t know, maybe i’m just lucky” he tries a joke to keep the mood up.

“so it’s luck?” your laugh giving enough confirmation to jungwon that you weren’t affected by his comment.

your phone ringing distracts you from the conversation you and jungwon were having, even scaring you a little in the process. the bright expression coming from your face made jungwon notice that it definitely wasn’t a call from any of your family members. letting himself breathe again with the positive mood in the air, he decides that he needs to stretch before testing out any moves.

“sunghoon!” suddenly maybe the mood wasn’t so positive for jungwon. you turned to jungwon mouthing it’s sunghoon! happily as he tried to share the same excitement you had. “no i’m not busy”, you looked over at jungwon sending him an apologetic look as you stood up from your seat. “i’ll just be outside jungwon!” you covered the microphone as you told him before quickly walking outside.

what was that about? jealousy was creeping up behind him even if he didn’t notice. he never wanted to feel possessive when it came to you. truthfully, he was waiting for this day. the day that someone saw past your shy personality disguised with a cold and blunt front and saw you. he couldn’t stop the lingering feeling in his stomach, he hated it. but who was he to think about your relationships with other people?

that’s when he remembered the smile on your face when you mentioned him, the glee in your voice and expression when you were around him. you two were even close enough to call each other out of nowhere? maybe that’s when it clicked in jungwon’s head, did you like sunghoon? you were entitled to like anyone you wanted to, it shouldn’t be jungwon’s problem if that person just so happened to be sunghoon.

but why did the thought bother jungwon so much?

from the way you were dressed people would think that you were attending some special dinner with the president. however, your prettily styled hair and your best outfit and shoes seemed to only be reserved for the yang family. there always seemed to be an unwritten rule between the two families that you had to go all out when visiting each other, however you and jungwon just suspected if it was just a way to show off all the newest jewellery and clothes subtly.

there you two were, standing by the side of your parents in the hallways of your house. the size of it was unimaginable, maybe even being the length of an average apartment in a middle class area. the hallways was adorned with expensive paintings and sculptures being used to write off taxes, a large rug that might of costed more than your high school tuition placed right in the middle of it all. it was visible proof that your family was disgustingly rich, just how your parents wanted it to look.

there wasn’t an answer to why the two families stood in the hallways to speak when you had an equally, if not larger living room a door away, the room also being adorned with expensive paintings with a large tv nobody in the house used. jungwon and you always had trouble staying serious while your parents spoke to one another. you two would usually mouth things to each other, not even understanding what was being said. the small grins you two held were enough that if one of you let out a laugh, the two of you would be on the ground laughing your heads off.

“the food’s ready” your cook interrupted your father’s reply to jungwon’s parents. your father sent him a small grin and a nod as he signalled everyone with a extended arm to the dining room.

the dining room gave a view to the kitchen, it was like a performance for everyone in the kitchen whenever you had guests over. your favourite activity to not bore yourself besides talking to jungwon, was watching your cook plate everything while your parents conversed about business or what type of wine they were having that night.

“steak again” jungwon joked quietly at your side. you two always sat beside each other, while the parents talked the whole night you two would try and not cause a huge mess. it usually ended up a mess, remembering the time you two dropped roast potatoes all over the ground in an attempt to entertain to each other. now when you two are finished eating you are excused to go back to your room where you two can actually talk.

“be thankful it isn’t salmon” you giggled quietly. the memory of jungwon’s parents scolding him at the dinner table for not eating his salmon reappears back into your heads, the thought of it making you laugh a little louder than you were. “sorry” you politely said, noticing the silent glare your father had sent you for making a ruckus at the dinner table.

“i would of answered properly if you weren’t laughing silently about it in the corner of my eye” the main reason why the memory was so funny for the two of you was the fact that the reason he was scolded was due to the fact he couldn’t even attempt to pick up the piece of fish without you two laughing. you two were incredibly easy to make laugh as there is nothing more entertaining than your best friend doing absolutely nothing.

in the corner of your eye you noticed your father staring at you and jungwon, while at the same time participating in the conversation the adults were having. it was unsettling, knowing that in the next five or so minutes he’d ask you a question regarding anything to seem like his family is better than anything the yangs do.

“y/n” an automatic faux smile was placed on your lips when you heard his voice. placing down your cutlery before turning to him you captured the sickly sweet smile on your parents smiles, a sign they were trying to milk your achievements out one by one.

“yes father” the pitch in your voice going a little higher than what jungwon usually hears, but was used to it due to the many times he’s heard you talk to your parents.

“we were just talking about the fact that you’re starting out figure skating!” the tone in your fathers sudden cheery voice was so obviously fake to you, he never liked the fact you took precious time off to practice figure skating rather than studying to get into a seoul university.

“i am” you turned to the yang parents with the innocent well put child facade. “i started six months ago, my trainer told me that i was improving at a great speed!”.

“how beautiful” jungwon’s mom commented, “i’m sure jungwon’s watched you skate before, right sweetheart?”.

“they’re very graceful on the ice mom” the flattery turned your cheeks a soft rose colour. you turned to him to give a thankful smile, not noticing the growing red on the boy’s ears.

you turned around to glance back once again at your father, the look of his smug grin made you want to get up and leave. you hated feeling like just a trophy to show off to others, you longed for the feeling of being praised for the person you were.

“i’m sure jungwon’s doing excellent in school” your mother continued, looks like they’re about to hit them where it hurts.

“not as well as your daughter i’m afraid” a bitter smile was obviously placed on his father’s face, teeth gritting as he let it out. “jungwon’s told us quite a lot about y/n’s rank in school, number one right? a terrific achievement”.

“yes, it’s a shame that jungwon can’t seem to reach the same” jungwon’s mother continued. your father took a sip from his glass of wine. what was it and using your children as weapons to bring down one another? in the corner of your eye you could tell jungwon didn’t feel comfortable with any of this at all, he stiffened his body as you chewed slowly on his steak.

“he’ll get there some day” your mother was simply just adding fuel to the fire, it made you feel terrible for your best friend. you looked over to see the boy’s blank stare, the small frown on his face made it seem that it was almost begging you to go comfort him.

“can jungwon and i be excused?” you knew that you two needed to get out of there immediately, you weren’t going to let your parents excuse any of this. “i feel a bit queasy from the steak, jungwon can keep me company”.

“do what you wish dear” your father let out quite bitterly. you bowed in response before standing up, placing your hand on jungwon’s hand. you shook it a little as a way to signal him that you two were about to leave.

the oh he let out was all you needed to know that jungwon was going to follow you up to your room. you watched as he bowed for everyone in the room, before silently following you as you gripped onto his hand. the mood you two were letting out was unreadable, was he thankful for you? or was he completely and utterly embarrassed at the fact you did that.

“thank you” he whispered behind you, the warmth in his hand was all you needed to feel the comfort you were longing for at the dinner table.

“don’t sweat it jungwon” a smile forming on your face as you turned towards him. “it was suffocating being in there anyways”. he laughed to himself, understanding what you were saying as you dragged him forwards once you reached your room.

your room was unnecessary big, like every other room in your house. your bed was double the size you actually needed and you had a chandelier hanging from the ceiling. your ceiling also had hand painted flowers decorating it, simply adding to the beautiful chandelier. there wasn’t any expensive paintings or rugs in your room however, just a large vanity as well as a desk and a huge bookshelf with every book imaginable. you also had framed pictures of you and jungwon as children dotted around your room.

“look” jungwon picked up a picture of you two when you were in first grade. you were crying while jungwon was right beside you laughing, beneath you two was a broken sandcastle who you could distinctly tell who it belonged to. “i was so evil as a kid”.

“tell me about it” you looked at the picture in admiration. “i swore to myself that day i would hate you for a million million trillion hundred years” a chuckle left your mouth at the loving memory. memories with jungwon always left you happy, even the ones that weren’t as nice to experience firsthand.

“and this one” he picked up another picture. this time it was you and him maybe around three years ago at your family’s lake house. “you ignored me for the rest of the trip after i did this”. the two of you were on the balcony as he lifted you from the legs up, the scared look in your eyes made it obvious that the whole thing was a surprise. you were fond of that memory, you realised something that day about jungwon you never realised before. the thought of dating your best friend popped up in your head for the first time when that picture was taken. the thought horrified you so much that you ignored him for days on end after, making up the excuse that you were mad at him for scaring you that.

“look at my face oh god” the pink tint coming back to your cheeks remembering the story behind that picture. “that day i started—”. you shut yourself up quicker than expected.

“started what?” jungwon looked at you confused. you start curse yourself in your head for your mistake.

never in your many years of friendship could of prepared you for this. the you three years ago was exactly the same, except the fact that three years ago you found out you had feelings for jungwon and now you were about to accidentally spill the beans about those exact same feelings.

“it’s nothing” you shook your head dismissively . trying to distract yourself, you looked at the corner of your eye and noticed a picture of you two at your middle school graduation. your features softened at the happy grins on your faces, both holding a pretty bouquet of flowers the two of you gave each other. “i love this day so much, look we’re so happy”.

“our graduation?” jungwon moved closer to you to get a good look of the photo. “we look so cute”.

turning around to jungwon with a grin of being reminded of the special, you stopped abruptly. noticing how close he was you stepped back quickly, in a quite panicked manner. his eyes widened noticing your frantic moves, unsure why his stomach was churning at your panicked face.

“sorry” you play with the hem of your sleeve, embarrassed at the fact you were so close to him. you feel you face heating up and you weren’t so sure if you were blushing at the fact his face was almost touching yours or embarrassed by the way you staggered away from him. “you were really close to me”.

“sorry did it make you uncomfortable?” jungwon asked you with a concern expression on his face. you couldn’t tell him the reason you were so panicked was because your crush was so close to you. “i’ll be more careful next time”.

“no! you’re fine” a reassuring smile spread across your face in an attempt to calm him down.

the awkwardness following that incident was undeniable. you sat on your bed unsure what to say to make conversation with him, the problem was that you two usually had a lot to say. the situation right now was not how the two of you usually acted, the voices in your head silently yelling at you for being dramatic at the fact jungwon was so close to you.

jungwon on the other hand couldn’t stop replaying the image of you being so close to him. an unfamiliar feeling kept reappearing in his stomach, he’s never looked at you in this way ever. maybe the feeling sunghoon gave him was similar but at the same, it was far different.

“i don’t think— be careful” in rich kids fashion, jungwon was playing tennis with his equally as rich friend ni-ki, a transfer student in his class studying in korea until he graduates from a seoul university. a big emphasis on seoul due to the fact every rich child in korea have parents almost begging them to get into a seoul university or an ivy league.

the ball accidentally almost hitting jungwon rolls behind the boy, he could feel the exhaustion finally catching up on him from the non-stop moving he had done. he holds a hand up with a drained expression signalling his friend that he was done for maybe another thirty minutes or so.

“as i was saying...” ni-ki walked towards the tired boy holding out a water bottle. he quickly grabbed the drink from him before taking a large gulp, wiping off the excess water from the sides of his mouth. “hey! don’t drink all of that”.

“sorry” an exasperated gasp escaped jungwon’s mouth as he tried to catch up with his breathing. “carry on”.

“i don’t think you have the right to be jealous on who y/n likes” ni-ki takes a sip from the water bottle he took back. “isn’t kinda weird too? that you’re jealous about all of this”.

“i’m not jealous” he corrected him. “i don’t know, that sunghoon guy gives me a bad feeling”.

“that’s definitely jealousy” ni-ki let out a laugh looking at him. jungwon sent him a scowl before taking back the bottle from him. “anyways i thought you always had a thing for them” he starts to say as jungwon takes yet another sip, the boy looks at him in a confused way before pulling the bottle away from his lips.

“what are you trying to say ni-ki?”

“what i’m saying is that you can never go a day without mentioning y/n” he raised his eyebrow to try and convince him further. “plus you look at them with hearts in your eyes, and the fact you’re so bummed out about this sunghoon thing just confirms my suspicions”.

“i’m not following” jungwon looks back at ni-ki with a blank stare. the younger rolls his eyes before lightly hitting him on the shoulder. “no, seriously”. the boy sent him a glare before sighing.

“are you genuinely this oblivious or you just don’t want to tell me you like y/n?”.

“what do you mean like?” the word like seemed so unfamiliar to him at that moment. of course he liked you, you were his best friend. although from how ni-ki was speaking, he understood that he wasn’t talking about the best friend sort of like.

“you romantically like them” ni-ki said it casually, “here, i’ll ask you a question and you, silently, in your mind answer it. i want you to do it silently so you can have a realisation of some sort”.

“what do we need questions for—” he was quickly shut off by ni-ki’s shhhh as he continued his conversation. rolling his eyes at his friends antics, he quickly shuts up before listening to what he was trying to say.

“do you think about y/n when they aren’t around?”

yes? isn’t this normal though

“do you miss them when you aren’t with them?”

yes? again, isn’t this a normal thing?

“do you get happy when they achieve things? like you want to hug them or like... that thing people do why they lift someone up and spin them around”

yes?

“do you get jealous when other people get more attention than you?”

yes...?

“when you see them do you get butterflies?”

sometimes, i do definitely get nervous though

“i feel like all of those should more or less answer your question on if you like y/n or not” ni-ki finished off his short quiz. jungwon gave him a puzzled look, he thought everything he had mentioned was a normal thing that every feels with their best friend.

“aren’t these just normal things?”

“i mean they’re just the basics jungwon” he started out saying, “everyone’s different when they have a crush”.

“so that could mean i have a crush on you?” the joking smile placed on jungwon’s lips only made ni-ki roll his eyes at the corny joke.

“i’m flattered honestly but i’m sadly not y/n”

the sunset was a pretty shade of pink and orange, it made you feel light and at a sense of peace watching it. the thought of taking a picture suddenly appeared in your head, quickly reaching for your phone in a frantic action before the sky changes in colour. you felt embarrassed at the fact you were standing at the end of the sidewalk patting the sides of your coat in an attempt to find your phone, a confused expression spread across your face.

“aha!” you felt a familiar shape in the back pocket of your jeans. lifting up the object, you felt it slipping slightly. your eyes widened noticing a small thud behind you on the ground. turning around to reach your phone in hopes it wasn’t broken in any way, you noticed a familiar figure hovering above you holding out your phone in his hands.

“you dropped this” a playful tone rolled off sunghoon’s tongue. you happily take it off his hands before looking back up at him.

“sunghoon!” you beamed gleefully at him, “i thought you went home already?”.

“no” he rubbed the back of his neck, “i missed my bus so i had to wait here for a while. turns out there was an accident twenty minutes away so everything’s delayed”.

“oh no” you frowned at his words. your brain scanned through all the possibilities you could do to help the boy, your eyes lit up having the realisation on the perfect solution. “do you wanna walk with me? where do you live? i can just tell my friend that he doesn’t need to pick me up”.

“no no it’s fine y/n” sunghoon waves his hands dismissively. “you don’t have to do that, plus i bet you’d rather walk with your friend”.

“don’t be silly” you chuckle as you unlocked your phone, pressing jungwon’s contact you typed in many apologies telling him that you can’t walk with him since you’re walking with sunghoon. “i already told him”. your phone lights up again, a notification showing a reply from jungwon saying a simple okay.

“he doesn’t seem very happy” sunghoon stares at the notification. he looks back at you with seriousness in his eyes, “isn’t this the jungwon you and i were talking about?”.

“well yeah” you avoided eye contact with him, embarrassed that you were probably about to get scolded. not only does sunghoon help you with training but he also helps you in your love life. you two have probably talked more about jungwon than actual figure skating, sunghoon always sighing at you for once again not being able to tell him your feelings. “he’s been like that ever since last week, i thought this was normal. don’t boys also have puberty mood swings?”.

“what happened last week?” you two started to walk towards your destinations. sunghoon luckily lived quite near your house, well if you count just twenty minutes away from the gate of your gated community. you two have walked home together before, the action usually having a romantic undertone but you two never felt that way. you always have seen sunghoon as a friend, understanding that he’s never really given you the same feeling jungwon does. it goes the same for him, he sees you more as a younger sibling than anything.

“well, he started acting a little weird when you called me that morning”

“the morning i asked you how you and jungwon were doing?” sunghoon raises an eyebrow.

“yeah” you nod, confirming his guess. you let out a sigh before moving on to your next point, “and you know when i told you about that thing that happened when his face was really close to mine?”.

“the one where it was really awkward?”

“you didn’t need to mention it was awkward” you shiver in embarrassment remembering that night. “and yeah, after that he wasn’t really the same. plus do you know the weirdest part?”.

“what happened” sunghoon chuckled at your embarrassed pout silently to himself. you turned to him with your eyes wide and hands in the air about to animate your following words.

“his friend messaged me, his friend! the transfer student nishimura riki” your nose scrunched in confusion and frustration. your arms too also expressing your frustration. “his message was so weird too!”.

“what did it say?”

“i know who likes you” your frustrated expression was even more prominent. “it was so childish! i even replied with a question mark and he just sent me a sticker of a cartoon animal giggling!”.

“maybe he does know who likes you” sunghoon raises an eyebrow.

“he wouldn’t, nobody likes me” you frown at your own words. “he’s probably just messing with me like everyone else at school”. sunghoon stops in his tracks when he realised your miserable mood.

“hey—” sunghoon bent down a little to get a look at your face. “what’s wrong?”.

“it’s— it’s silly” you wipe your tears away. you weren’t expecting yourself to cry on an evening like this, especially not on the day you were walking home with sunghoon on.

“no y/n it’s okay” sunghoon looked around the area to see if there was anywhere to sit down at. noticing a bench near the two of you, he held onto your wrist bringing you to sit on it. “you can tell me anything y/n, i hope you know this”.

“i know” you sniffled, sadly smiling at the situation at that moment. “it’s just that i’m so tired of everything. jungwon acting weird with me was just the tip of the iceberg. i can’t help but think if i did anything to make him act like this”. sunghoon listened in silence, nodding at your words as he watched you in pity while tears streamed down your face.

“the fact that my classmates still ostracise me even though i try so hard to get to know them hurts so much. even though my parents tell me school isn’t for making friends, i desperately want to. i mean jungwon was there to help but like what i said before, he’s being really distant” the pace of your tears slowing down. “plus what his friend said didn’t help, it just felt like i was just the pit of a joke i wasn’t even aware of”.

“y/n i don’t know if i should say this but i think jungwon really—”

“y/n?” a familiar voice cut off sunghoon’s words. “are you okay? why are you crying?” you look behind sunghoon and realised it was jungwon saying all those things. you watched as his concerned expression warped into a furious one, his focus on sunghoon’s hand still on your wrist. you felt your eyes widen as you quickly shook off his grasp, standing up from the bench as you wipe the excess tears on your face.

“what did he do to you?” his words directed at you but his glaring eyes didn’t leave sunghoon. the realisation that jungwon misunderstood the whole situation dawned over you. taking a step forward you tried to open your mouth in an attempt to calm him down, only to be stopped by sunghoon who had his arm extended out, blocking your path to jungwon.

“i didn’t do anything” sunghoon explained calmly. he turned to you before looking back at the enraged boy. “i understand why would think that but honestly, it’s you two who need to have a talk, a long talk” he chuckles silently to himself before standing up.

“i wasn’t done talking to you—”

sunghoon gave him a smile before patting his shoulder, “just listen to what they have to say”. you watched as he waved you two off as made his way home. you stared at sunghoon’s walking figure in shock, not sure if you were entirely thankful he left you with an angry jungwon.

“did he do something to you y/n?” he made his way to you in a panic, his eyes scanning you to see if there was anything wrong with you. “i swear to god, i knew there was something wrong with him” he tried to look at your face, your head facing the ground blocking his view. “hey, look at me” his voice softening as he tried once again to get your attention.

“i’m sorry” tears welled up in your eyes again as you made eye contact with him. you couldn’t understand why you were crying, maybe it was all the emotions building up to this moment. even so, you were incredibly happy that jungwon was so concerned and even came to look for you. “sunghoon didn’t do anything, i was just venting to him”.

“y/n... did something happen?” his worried eyes looking hard into yours.

you played with you fingers as you tried to think hard on what to say next, is this the right time? i mean, in all honesty you had nothing to lose. in fact it was the perfect moment to confess your feelings, well after you explain everything to him.

“no” you sniffled, wiping away more tears you turned to him with a small smile. “let’s get home, shall we?”. he looked at you with bothered feeling, noticing it you frowned. “maybe i should tell you” you quietly let out, a silent chuckle following it.

“please tell me why you were crying y/n” his soft voice had hints of distressed tones in it, he was so visibly concerned about you. it’s possible that’s when you were reminded why you love jungwon, he cared about you so much that it felt like he could do anything for you. you gulp before opening your mouth, instantly closing it when words couldn’t come out. “hey... y/n?”.

“i can’t explain” that’s when you opted out of telling him how you felt. you thought that he already cared about you as a best friend, if he didn’t like you back. it was break down everything you had. you sigh before facing him once again. “we should really get going—”

“when— when you sent me that message, telling me you didn’t need me to walk you home because of sunghoon, it made me so upset and mad” he laughed to himself, the stutter in his words making him realise how nervous he was. you jump a little in shock when you realised his hand found its way to yours. the warmth of it soothed you, a pink tinge finding its way to your cheeks, an occurrence that always seems to happen whenever you were with jungwon.

“i stayed home sulking about it, messaged ni-ki about it and he was so mad at me” his eyes looked sincere, the pink tinge suddenly growing into a red one. “he told me if i didn’t, and i quote, get my ass there and walk you myself, he’d tackle me onto the ground”.

“i don’t get why you’re telling me this—”

“so i did” he continued, not stopping to explain anything to you but his own story. “i got up from bed and started travelling on the street you usually walked home on. i don’t know what i was expecting, but seeing you cry on that bench with that sunghoon guy beside you made me incredibly upset. i thought he did something to you! i can tell that i misread that completely”.

“jungwon” you speak up. you had no idea why he was reciting any of this, what was this even leading up to? a grin lights up on his face, the feeling his hand squeeze yours lovingly confusing you even more. “please tell me what your telling me-”

“i like you y/n” a sudden serious tone appearing. “not even like, i’m probably in love with you”. the shocked look on your face made him laugh endearingly, he pulled your hand lightly to bring you closer to him. “i mean it, honestly. it took three days of me thinking about what ni-ki had told me to even realise it”.

“so he wasn’t lying” you let out, still not recovering from the shock. you slowly move your head up to catch a glimpse of jungwon’s face, who quite literally snapped you back into reality. “wait, you like me really?”.

“yes!” he laughed as he pulled you into a hug, sending butterflies to your stomach. “why? do you not like me back?”.

“no!” you look at him in surprise. “wait! i do like you, it might be love too. i figured it out three years ago, when we were at my lake house”.

“three years ago?” the surprised look on his face slowly morphed into an endeared one once he caught you looking up at him with a cheesy smile. “you win with that one i guess”. the smiles on you both of your faces didn’t seem to falter while looking into each other’s eyes, the warm-cold breeze and the lightly tinted pink on both your cheeks adding to the scene.

“are we dating now?” he jokes as he takes out leaf from your hair.

“when did that get there” you place your hand on the spot the leaf was on. laughing it off, you look back up at him. the feeling of you in his arms still made your stomach flip, in a good way of course. “and yes, i suppose so?”.

“so now i can tell my parents i’m dating the smartest person in the country, as well as the prettiest?” he squeezes you tighter in a loving hug.

“so you’re just with me for my brains and looks?” sarcasm dripping from your words as you let out a loud laugh. “i’m kidding jungwon, yes you can tell them if you want to”.

“what are you gonna tell your parents?” a curious grin placed on his face.

“i’m dating my three year long crush”.

“as if they’d believe i’d be their precious child’s crush” he laughed as he loosened the grip on you. holding out his hand, you realised quickly that he wants you to hold it. “let’s get you back home before your parents send the police to look for you”.

“sure” you take his hand as you two walked down the street. both your sides looking as if you two were glued together from how the space was closed between the two of you, leaving no gap in between.

you always dreamt about your high school love story, even with your hectic schedule crushing you down everyday.

what you never expected was that your best friend was the start of it all.

[dimensionwriter]

FlufftoberDay 4: Fake Dating

Axel x GN! Reader

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Am I deciding to treat the Axel lovers? Yes, yes I am.

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You should’ve have know something was about to go wrong when you saw Screw sitting at their desk with a smirk emoticon on their screen. Nothing good ever comes from that android when they’re feeling devious. 

“So, what I am hearing is that you want us to go undercover to this...” you didn’t even want to say it. It was so embarrassing. “Android lovers festivals as a couple. Why?” This wasn’t part of the job. You were suppose to make sure that everyone felt safe, no matter their species. Not play pretend to go undercover. 

“Listen, last year there was a few people trying to sell android illegally there. This year, we just want to make sure the same thing doesn’t happen. You two are to just go there and make sure to report anything suspicious,” Daniel explained, leaning back in his chair. You responded with a slow blink as you tried to process what he was saying. 

“Where does dating have to come in? Can’t we just go there as, I don’t know, ourselves,” you yelled, trying to get your bosses to see the problem. First, they make Axel and you move in together, now this. What’s next, having to marry each other forever in the name of comradeship. 

“Well,” Screw started typing, leaning forward. You just gave up when you saw that. This robot will not talk with reasoning. “This is an android lover convention. It would be pretty odd if a human and an android walked in without being a couple. They are either weirdly alone ooorrrrrr-”

You fell back into your chair to place a hand over your head. Why you? Do they even realize how awkward it will be to pretend to date your coworker? And why do you even need to pretend to date if no one will ask?

“Well, Axel, do you disagree with this?” You moved your hand to look over at Axel who was sitting next to you. His posture hasn’t changed at all since you guys were called in. He hasn’t spoken a word about this. 

“I do not mind having to. As long, of course, it gets the job done,” he wrote in that same normal grey times new roman font. You squinted your eyes at it to see the bottom had a slight pink tint to it. 

“There it is. Now go take off those old uniform jackets and get ready for a convention,” Screw wrote while clapping their metal hand. Is this even a job anymore or is this a sitcom?

A hand was placed on your back, but you didn’t lift your head off the steering wheel. You thought conventions would be small. This one wasn’t even one you really heard of before, so you believed deeply in your heart that it would be small. So, why are you parked outside of a stadium where there are cars everywhere?

A low whizzing sound caused you to look over to the passenger seat. Axel was sitting with his head to the ceiling. His outfit was a red shirt with a pair of black leather pants. A few chains and necklaces were frappes around him. He wasn't wearing this earlier, did he change?

"Hypothetically typing, is it that bad to date me?" Axel wrote in a small font. His hand wrapped around his knees as he looked over at you.

Oh, no he's getting the wrong idea. "No, you're a wonderful android. You're sweet, nice, and quite hardworking. Not to include it's adorable how you watch baking shows at 3 am when you think I'm sleep. You're a catch that any luck person would like to be with."

His form stuffed up which you translated to most likely from shock. He quickly turned his screen away from you to stare out the window. In the reflection, you could see the bright pink glow emanating from his screen.

"So, you want to go in?" You asked, leaning around to see his screen. It was kind of cute every time his screen went pink.

He didn't look at you, but opted for nodding his head. You tried your best to hold your snicker in as you unlocked the doors.

The stadium was quite large with silver beams shining proudly in the morning sun. The grass around it was glimmering in elegance from the morning dew. Maybe, just maybe, this won't be so bad.

It went bad. It went so bad so so fast. Axel and you walked into the stadium side by side and a man was at the entrance sitting at a table. He welcomed you to the "A.L.C" and his next question was if the two of you were together or individual.

Before you could open you mouth, a low mechanical purr came from behind you. A cold hand was placed on your shoulder causing you to look up to see a circular head with a screen on it, it almost reminded you of those old style television. "I sure hope this delectable thing isn't."

Axel's arm went around your waist and pulled you away from the weird android and into his side. He was a lot more warmer than the other android, weirdly enough.

The man at the desk said that's all he needed to know. He told you guys to go to the backroom behind him and to follow the path. He even threw in a cheeky wink.

Now any person with a brain would instantly connect what just happened together. The other android was just a test for something and apparently you two passed enough to be let into this secret area. This must be what Screw was telling you about.

Axel and you held on to each other until you were out of their sight. You rushed forward through the hallways, looking for the exit that could potentially lead to this 'backroom'.

A light appeared at the end of the tunnel and you two glanced at each other and nodded. This has to be it. So, you ran forward into the light, ready for actions.

And ended up right where you are now. On the stage, in the middle of football field, in metal chairs. To your left was a tall lanky human man next to a dark blue android. To your right, past Axel, was a plump non-binary person with there miniature android.

"Welcome to A.L.C. year 5, everyone," the announcer screamed into the microphone. There had to be at least 2 thousand people and andriods around you that instantly started screaming or whirring. "Today, we found 3 lucky couples that will be yelling about their cross species love."

You ignored their screaming and applauding to glance at Axel. He was sitting up straight as always, but his legs were spread wide with his hands in the middle tightly grasping each other. It's comforting to know that you aren't the only one uncomfortable right now.

"We will kick this off by letting each couple introduce themselves and talk about how they met." Okay, maybe it's time to come up with a plan to get out of here.

Grabbing the edge of your chair, you scooted closer to Axel until your sides were touching. You grabbed his arm and wrapped your arms around it. Leaning on his shoulder, you turned you head, so it was burried in his neck.

"Axel, I'm going to assume you can hear me. We need to find a way to get out of here. This is the complete opposite of being undercover," you whispered in a panic.

You slightly leaned away to see that Axel had put a hand on his screen that was glowing pink again. He tapped his screen a few times and the light went away.

"Sorry, I have to replay your audio. My sensors were distracted at the moment. Give me a second." Aww, poor guy. He was probably so uncomfortable with you touching him like this, but this is the only way to communicate without being conspicuous.

"Best plan of option to get out here without being noticed is to-"

His screen turned black again causing you to frown up. A small cough in front of you caused you to look forward to see the host standing in front of you with a smirk.

"Well look at these two. Guess we spread the chairs to far for these love birds," he jokes the crowed. A bunch of laughter and awws came out making you immediately go into an awkward smile. "Now, introduce yourself and tell us your story."

The microphone was instantly put to you causing your brain to short circuit. You looked up at Axel at what to do, but his screen was still black.

"Well, I'm y/n and this is Axel. We-ummm- we met at work. Well, kind of. I worked in a... bakery that only had human workers and he worked in a bakery that only had andriods. Our bosses thought it was a good idea to combine, so they did. The first shift with Axel, I showed up an hour late with breakfast in my hand, so that wasn't a good impression. He was acting all grumpy and angry around me, but I was- I was determined to make him not hate me, so I was always nagging him... Along the way, we became friends and one day I invited him to my house to watch a movie. I specifically remember picking out a movie that reminded me of our relationship, but had romance in it. Sitting there watching it, I felt that it was a sign that tonight was the night that things were going to change. That night, I confessed that I had fell in love with him and he said he felt the same way. The rest is history."

Was half that a reality and the other half a romance movie you saw a few weeks ago, yes? But they didn't need to know that. All you need was some sappy story to please these people and get this man to move on from you.

"Oh my gosh, did you guys here that? Society tried to keep them separate, but destiny and fate worked harder to bring them together. I think we found a good example of what human and android love looks like. No offense Xeno and Jordan, but I think they beat your ' met on a dating site's story."

Why did you not think of that? Oh gosh, now you just brought even more attention to you two.

"Okay, we have one more story before we will move on to some QnA from the crowd," he said, with a big smile to the crowd. He walked over to the next couple, finally leaving Axel and you alone.

"We got to get out of here, now," you hissed, tugging on his sleeve. He turned his screen towards you and begin to typed.

"My previous plan was to just simply walk off the stage with you. However, now the crowd seem to have grown a connection with us, unable for us to make a quiet exit. I searched up the itinerary for today and this 'couple proof' only last 30 minutes before another event start. It would be safe to endure it and then exit."

Thirty minutes, that's all you have to endure. That's not that bad. Almost 10 minutes has passed already, leaving with about 20-ish minutes for the QnA. Split that between questions for each couple, that would be less than 7 minutes for each.

After the 3rd couple finished telling their story (they met at a park while taking pictures of flowers and went on a date three days later), he moved on to the QnA for the first couple. He gave the crowd 6 minutes for them.

The questions weren't horrible to deal with. They were asking about any difference in species that you found out while dating. You could talk about Axel rarely needing to recharge, so most night he stays up doing stuff. Then there were some questions about favorite things to do for a date. Maybe go along with the bakery plot line and say baking. Ultimately, it ended with them asking for pictures of them hugging. Easy enough.

The man walked away from them and walked over to you, signaling the start of you guys turn. It was pretty much the same thing.

"What's something weird that Axel does in your relationship?*

"He doesn't need to recharge, so sometimes it's weird waking up in the middle of the night to see your boyfriend typing down recipes from a cooking show." Axel gave you a red tinted "No I don't" as that. The crowd just coos at it.

They asked Axel what he found attractive in a human. Even you were slightly curious because you didn't even know if liked humans liked that. Considering his whole 'I don't do emotions' act.

"Their ability to make things feel things they never thought was possible." It was short and kind of mysterious, but was enough for the crowd.

You two whizzed through the next couple of questions, giving them the answers they most likely wanted to hear, but kept them from being more suspicious of you two. That was, until the last questions.

"Hi, I apologized for this weird request, but I must ask. My mother is extremely speciest and thinks creatures of the same species should be together. And when she found out I attend these things, she said that it was just full of sick people who were faking it. I've recorder a lot of all the amazing creatures of there talking about there love and plan on sending it to them. But you story is the most inspiring. Can I have a picture of you two kissing to show my mother that all of this is real? That our love is so much more than anything society may think."

You know that feeling of whiplash from moving to fast. That's what it felt like to listen to her story and then hear her request. You understood trying to stick it to the speciest people, but you can't go around asking people to kiss.

"Oh that would be lovely. The crowd's favorite couple showing a sign of such raw affection that it has to prove to the world that an android and a human can love each other," the host wailed out. He dramatically threw a hand over his forehead as he started to sway. Was this man just male human version of Screw?

"I- ummmm," you drawled out staring into the crowd. So many eyes, screens, and plastic eyes stared back at you with hope gleaming in it.

A hand was gently placed under your chin and tilted your head. You looked up to see Axel's screen glowing a soft pink. "May I?"

Your eyes looked at the crowd before looking back into Axel's screen. His hand was so warm and comforting that it felt like it was melting you into a puddle. He stay in that position, waiting for your consent. You knew that no matter what you did, he would follow you with no hesitation.

You meekly nodded you head and closed your eyes. A screen was pressed against your face, but it felt different. A slight buzz was coming from him that traveled down your lips into your body. The warmth from his hands were nothing compared to his screen. It wasn't soft like a pair of lips, but it held the same compassionate and trust as a normal kiss.

Axel was the first to pull away. You sat completely still as you stated back up at the screen infront of you.

Screaming poured out from the crowd in waves bring you back to the present. You shuffled back into your seat and tried to ignore everyone yelling at you two.

"Wooza. Let that be proof right that to the world of true love," the host screamed with some fist pumps. The crowd went wild again making you internally cringe.

It was for the mission. All of this was for the missions. You can endure a little embarrassment and awkwardness for it. Protecting andriods lives from being sold was important.

But why did it have to include kissing Axel? Oh gosh, what was he thinking at this moment? Was that his first kiss with a human? Do andriods even kiss each other?

Thoughts spiraled through your head that you didn't even notice that the host was wrapping up the first event. Your mind was so full.

"Thank you guys for being lovely hosts. We hope to see you next year," he said. Your eyes was to the sky as your would was escaping your body.

It was until Axel's warm hand slid into you and gave a small tug. You got out of your chair and followed him off the stage with all the other couple.

This was just like the first day meeting. Stuff that wasn't your fault happen and you accidentally made it worse. Now Axel was sure to be mad at you. You should've kept a low profile, but you just had to make a drastic story.

Axel turned right into a dead end hallway that a was a little far away from main one. He placed you against a wall and stood in front of you, blocking your view.

"Are you feeling ill?" He asked, placing a hand on your forehead. "You are feeling quite feverish. I understand it might be quite sickening to relive the... action I had to take on stage. I do sincerely apologize for forcing you to show that level of affection with me."

He was kidding right. You're the reason you two had to kiss in the first place. You amped up the crowd and gave them hope. And he's acting like you didn't enjoy it- at a platonic level of course.

"Axel, first off, I'm not sick, just flustered. You can look up that human emotion. Second, it  was a really nice kiss. Like, I’ve never kissed an android before, but it was good, you know. Not sickening in any way,” you rambled. Your temperature was sky rocketing as stared at the screen you lips were on just a few minutes ago. 

“Good. That clears it up. I can relate a the same experience to you. I’ve never kissed a human, or anything at this point. Never say a reasoning to. However, I can understand why humans may want to do it all the time.”

Wait, what?

“Axel! Y/N!” A voice yelled from the end of the hallway. You looked around Axel to see an silver android in a baggy sweatshirt running towards you two. Do- do you know him?

Axel turned around and took a step towards the android. They stopped right in front of him and handed him a sheet of paper. Getting a little curious, you peaked at the document to see a list of names followed by a phone number with a location. 

“These are the names a person gave me to ‘get an android’. We found them,” they explained tapping the document. Wait, was they talking about the mission Axel and you were assigned. Why was this random android in  on it? 

“Hey, how did you know about this stuff? And how do you know us?” You question getting in front of Axel to look at this suspicious android. They tilted their head to the side in confusion. 

“There’s like 10 other cops here on this mission. Screw told us that you guys were to go undercover and cause a distraction for us to search. Did you not meet someone at the front that helped you with this?” they asked, scratching the top of their metal head. 

A person earlier? The only person you met was that android that was flirting with you... that ended up getting you two on stage. So, he was another agent too. Was everything set up?

“Well, I came to show you guys what I found. I’m going to go back to the station and report what I found. Also, good job on the distraction. Didn’t think you would go that far, but yeah. Good job,” they said with a pair of thumbs up. Slowly, they walked backwards before turning and running off. 

“Axel, I’m going to strangle Screw and there’s nothing you can do to stop,” you grumbled. How many of your colleagues watched you kiss your partner? How many are going to see Axel and you kiss from those videos? 

You glanced at Axel to see his screen flickering between red and pink. “I might not notice if you do.”

You turned away to secretly placed your fingers on your lips. There was still a slight tingle in them that still had your blood rushing. The embarrassment may was worth it... just a little. 

-----------------------------------------------

Did I go a little overboard for this one because I haven’t wrote Axel in a long time? Yes. I miss this little android. Love him to pieces. 

Also, just want to let you know that this isn’t cannon. This is the equilivant of an OVA. The main story line is the Mechanical Heart series. But this is just a little something for the Axel’s fan. 

[dustedmagazine]

Dust Volume 7, Number 4

Axel Ruley x Verbo Flow

A little bit of optimism is creeping into the air as Dusted writers start to get their shots. We’re all starting to think about live music, maybe outside, maybe this summer. But as the spate of freak snow storms demonstrates, summer’s not here yet, and in the meantime, piles of records and gigs of MP3s beckon. This early spring version of Dust covers the map, literally, with artists representing Pakistan, Australia, Canada, Sweden, the UK and the USA, and stylistically with jazz, rock, punk, rap, improv and many other genres in play. Contributors include Jennifer Kelly, Justin Cober-Lake, Bill Meyer, Ray Garraty, Patrick Masterson, Tim Clarke and Bryon Hayes.

Arooj Aftab — Vulture Prince (New Amsterdam)

Vulture Prince by Arooj Aftab

Arooj Aftab is a classical composer originally from Pakistan but now living in Brooklyn. Vulture Prince, her third full-length album, blends the bright clarity of new age music with the fluid, non-Western vocal tones of her Central Asian roots. “Last Night,” from an old Rumi poem but sung mostly in English, lilts in dub-scented syncopation, the thump and pop of stand-up bass underlining its bittersweet melody. An interlude in some other language shifts the song entirely, pitting vintage reggae reverberation against an exotic melisma. “Mohabbat” (which is apparently Urdu for sex) soothes in the pristine instrumentals, lucid guitars, a horn, scattered drumbeats, but smolders and beckons in the vocals. None of these tracks feel wholly traditional or wholly Western and modern day, but sit somewhere in a well-lit, idealized space. Timeless and placeless, Vulture Prince is nonetheless very beautiful.

Jennifer Kelly

 Assertion — Intermission (Spartan)

Intermission comes from an alternate timeline. Founding drummer William Goldsmith started his musical career in Sunny Day Real Estate and had a notable stint with Foo Fighters. To cut the biography short, Goldsmith took a decade off from the music industry. He's returned now with Assertion, joined by guitarist/vocalist Justin Tamminga and bassist Bryan Gorder (both of Blind Guides, among other acts). This band picks up in the late 1990s, imagining a new path for post-hardcore/post-grunge music. The trio's name suits, as the songs' energy and the lyrical assertiveness develops the intensity of the release. The group works carefully with dynamics, neither parroting the loud-quiet tradition nor simply pushing their emo leanings toward 11.

“The Lamb to the Slaughter Pulls a Knife” epitomizes the album. The track sounds like Foo Fighters decided to get dirtier rather than more arena-friendly, while the lyrics mix violence with emotional persistence. First single “Supervised Suffering” finds triumph in endurance, turning the aggressive chorus into something of a victory. “Set Fire” closes the album with something more delicate, but it's just the gauze over a seething anger. Goldsmith's time off seems to have served him well, as does collaborating with some new partners. Assertion makes its case clearly and effectively, and if the intermission's over for Goldsmith, the second half sounds promising.

Justin Cober-Lake  

 Michael Beach — Dream Violence (Goner/Poison City)

Dream Violence by Michael Beach

“De Facto Blues,” from Michael Beach’s fourth solo album, is a barn-burner of a song, rough and messy and passionate, the kind of song that makes you want to take a stand on something, who cares what as long as it matters to you. It snarls like Radio Birdman, slashes like the Wipers and follows its muse through chaos to righteousness like an off-cut from Crazy Horse, just back from rockin’ the free world. It’s got Matt Ford and Inez Tulloch from Thigh Master on guitar and bass, respectively, Utrillo Kushner from Colossal Yes (and Comets on Fire) on drums, and Kelley Stoltz at the boards, and it’s a killer. The rest of the album is varied and, honestly, not uniformly astounding, but there’s a nice Summer of Love-style psych dream in “Metaphysical Dice,” a slow-burning post-rocker in the title track and a driving, pounding punk anthem in the opener “Irregardless.” Beach has been splitting his time between San Francisco and Melbourne, Australia, and lately settled on Melbourne, where he will fit like a native into their thriving punk-garage scene.

Jennifer Kelly

 Bloop — Proof (Lumo)

Proof by BLOOP (Lina Allemano / Mike Smith)

The trumpet is already a catalog of sound effects waiting to happen, and Lina Allemano knows the table of contents by heart. So, to shake things up, she has paired up with electronic musician Mike Smith, who contributes live processing and effects to Allemano’s improvisations. A blind listen to Proof might leave you with the impression that you’re hearing a horn player jamming with some outer space cats, and we’re not talking about hip, lingo-slinging jazz dudes. In fact, everything on these eight tracks happened in real time. Smith’s a strategic intervener, aware that too much sauce can spoil the stew, so he mixes up precise layering and pitch-shifting with more disorienting transformations. It’s hard to say how much Allemano responds to the simulacra that surround her brass voice, but there’s no denying the persuasiveness of her melodic and timbral ideas.

Bill Meyer

 Bris — Tricky Dance Moves (TrueStory Entertainment)

Bris left some music behind when he died in 2020, but it took almost a year to shape these recordings into a proper CD. The label CEO Mac J (a fine artist himself) could easily capitalize on his friend’s death, stacking Tricky Dance Moves with features from the artists Bris never would have worked with. Yet the album was prepared with the utmost care, not giving an ugly Frankenstein monster feel. Bris’s references to his possible early death are scattered throughout the whole tape: “Heard they wanna pop Bris cause they mad I’m poppin.” Almost every song could be easily turned into a prophetic tale (a cheap move one wants to avoid at all costs). Nonetheless, something is missing here. Or maybe it is just an image of death that disturbs the whole picture, making us realize that this is the last we’d hear from Bris.

Ray Garraty

 Dreamwell — Modern Grotesque (self-released)

Modern Grotesque by Dreamwell

I recently read an interview with Providence’s Dreamwell breaking down in almost excruciating detail the influences that led to the quintet’s sophomore full-length Modern Grotesque. I kept scrolling past Daughters and Deftones and Deafheaven and increasingly disconnected influences like The Mountain Goats and Nina Simone. I went back to the top and looked again. I typed Ctrl+F and put in “Thursday.” Nothing. This is preposterous. I may not be in the post-hardcore trenches the way I once was, but even I’d know a good Full Collapse homage if it swung a mic right into my face the way this one did; hell, just listen to “The Lost Ballad of Dominic Anneghi” and tell me singer Keziah Staska doesn’t know every single word of “Paris in Flames.” That may not look like flattery on a first read, but too often, bands striding the emo/pop divide have chased the latter into sub-Taking Back Sunday oblivion; what Thursday did was much harder, and Dreamwell has ably taken up the torch here. That they did it unintentionally is a curious, bewildering footnote.

Patrick Masterson

  Paul Dunmall / Matthew Shipp / Joe Morris / Gerald Cleaver — The Bright Awakening (Rogue Art)

It’s a bit perplexing that reeds player Paul Dunmall hasn’t spent more time playing with American musicians. He’s firmly situated within the English improvisation community, where he’s perhaps best known for his longer tenure with the quartet Mujician, and his ability to double on bagpipes has allowed him to establish links between improvised and folk music. But

his jazz-rooted approach makes him a natural to work in settings such as this one. When Dunmall toted his tenor to the Vision Festival in 2012 (even then, it could be costly to lug multiple horns on a plane), he found three sympatico partners in Fest regulars pianist Matthew Shipp, double bassist Joe Morris and drummer Gerald Cleaver. They all hit the ground running, generating a barrage of pulsing, roiling sound for over 20 minutes before the piano and drums peel off, leaving Morris to sustain momentum alone. Dunmall’s gruff, spiraling lines find common cause with each of his fellows, and the gradual addition and subtraction of players from that point makes it easier to hear the exchange of ideas, which often seem to take place between dyads operating within the larger flow.

Bill Meyer 

 Editrix — Tell Me I’m Bad (Exploding in Sound)

Tell Me I'm Bad by Editrix

Wendy Eisenberg’s rock band is like her solo output in that it snarls delicate, self-aware, mini-short stories in complex tangles of guitar, hemming in high, sing-song-y verses with riffs and licks of daunting difficulty. The main differences are speed, volume and aggression (i.e. it rocks.) and a certain communal energy. That’s down to two collaborators who can more than keep up, Josh Daniel on surging, rattling, break-it-all-down percussion and Steve Cameron, equally anarchic and fast on bass. The title track is an all-out rager, thrusting jagged arena riffs of guitar and bass forward, then clearing space for off-kilter verses and time-shifting, irregular instrumental interplay. “Chelsea” follows a similar chaotic pattern, setting up a teeth-shaking cadence of rock instruments, with Eisenberg keening over the top of it. “I know, perfectly well, that we’re not safe, safe from the men in power,” she croons, engaged in the knotting difficulties of the world as we know it, but winning.

Jennifer Kelly

Elephant Micah — Vague Tidings (Western Vinyl)

Vague Tidings by Elephant Micah

The new Elephant Micah album, the follow-up to 2018’s excellent Genericana, has an apposite title. Vague Tidings conveys an atmosphere of feeling conscious of something carried on the wind, a story passed on that may have shifted through various iterations, leaving only a sense of its original meaning. All that can be sure is that this is sad, sober music, unafraid to brace against the chill of mortality and speak of all that is felt. The instruments — guitar, piano, percussion, violin and woodwinds — move around Joseph O’Connell’s voice in stiff yet graceful arcs, distanced by an unspoken etiquette. Repetitive melodic figures, stark yet steady, gradually accumulate weight as they roll along like tumbleweeds. It’s a crisp, forlorn country-blues, in no hurry to get nowhere, carrying ancient wisdom that seems to acknowledge the empty resonance of its own import.

Tim Clarke

 Fraufraulein — Solum (Notice Recordings)

Fraufraulein’s music is immersive. Anne Guthrie and Billy Gomberg beam themselves, and us along with them, Quantum Leap-style directly into multiple environments in medias res. Through the clever employment of field recordings, they transport us to a hurricane-addled beach, performing a voice/piano duet as driftwood missiles careen through the air. In another “episode,” the manipulation of small objects conjures up the intimacy of a water garden filled with windchimes. Partners in both life and art, Guthrie and Gomberg are also consummate solo artists. He is a master of spike-textured drones, while she explores the intimate properties of physical entities. Like a child tends to resemble one parent while borrowing subtle traits from the other, Solum identifies more with Guthrie’s electroacoustic tendencies than it does with Gomberg’s electronics. This is in stark contrast to 2015’s Extinguishment, which felt a little more balanced between those two modes. Both approaches work, yet Solum feels more meticulously crafted and nuanced. Careful listening unveils multiple subtle tones and textures, and each piece is an adventure for the ears.

Bryon Hayes

 Gerrit Hatcher / Rob Magill / Patrick Shiroishi — Triplet Fawns (Kettle Hole)

Triplet Fawns by Gerrit Hatcher / Rob Magill / Patrick Shiroishi

The album’s title implies a crew you wouldn’t want on your yard; while those adolescent ungulate appetites do a number on your bushes, the hooves are hacking up your grass. But if they knocked on your door, saxophone cases in their respective hands, you could do worse than invite them around the back for some blowing. Hatcher, Magill and Shiroishi present with sufficient lung power to be heard fine without the reflective assistance of walls, even when they aren’t making like Sonore (that was Gustafsson, Vandermark, and Brötzmann, about a dozen years back). This album, which was released in a micro-edition of 100 CD-Rs on Hatcher’s Kettle Hole imprint, builds gradually from restrained melancholy to pointillistic jousting to a climactic blow-out, and the assured development of each piece suggests that each player was listening not only to what each of the others was doing, but where the music was headed.

Bill Meyer

A.Karperyd — GND (Novoton)

GND by A.Karperyd

On his second solo release, GND, Swedish artist Andreas Karperyd broodingly ruminates on snatches of musical ideas that have been percolating in his consciousness over extended periods. Anyone familiar with his 2015 debut, Woodwork, will find these 55 minutes similarly immersive, as Karperyd manipulates live instruments such as piano and strings into shimmering, alien tapestries. Opener “The Well-Defined Rules of Certainty” appears to take Fennesz’s Venice as its blueprint, issuing forth cascading, percolating tones that tickle the ears. “The Desire to Invoke Balance with Our Eyes Closed” and “Failures and Small Observations” have a Satie-esque elegance to their piano lines, albeit refracted via a hall of mirrors. The 12-minute “Reminiscence of Tar” sounds like a slow-motion pan across the hulking mass of a shadowy space station. And closing track “Mummification of an Empire” slowly fries its piano in static, then unfurls wistful melodica and throbbing synth across the wreckage.

Tim Clarke

  Kiwi Jr. — Cooler Returns (Subpop)

Cooler Returns by Kiwi jr

Kiwi Jr.’s brash, brainy indie pop punk vibrates with nervy energy, like the first Feelies album or Violent Femmes’ 1983 debut or that one great S-T from the Soft Pack. Those are all opening salvos for their respective bands, but this one is a second outing, suffering not a bit from sophomore slackening. Instead, Cooler Returns tightens up everything that was already stinging on the Toronto band’s debut and adds a giddy careening glee. An oddball thread of Robin Hood-ness runs through the disc, with Sherwood forest getting a nod in the title track and “Maid Marian’s Toast” tipping the love interest, but these songs are anything but archaic. “Undecided Voters,” the single jangles harder than anything I’ve heard since Woolen Men, slyly upending creative pretensions in a verse that goes: “You take a photo of the CN tower/you take another of the Honest Ed sign/Well, I take photos of your photos/and they really move people.” Has it been done before? Maybe. Does it move us. Yes indeed.

Jennifer Kelly

 Kool John — Get Rich, Die $moppin ($moplife Entertainment)

A year ago, Kool John was shot six times. Yet you wouldn’t know about it from the general mood of Get Rich, Die $moppin, his first tape since then. He does name one song “6 Shots” and explicitly mentions the shooting accident a few times on other songs, but his bouncy music says he wasn’t hurt bad after all. The beats perfectly match the rhymes, playfully ignorant and ignorantly playful. Kool John still doesn’t mix with broke people, doesn’t return calls if it’s not about money and “doesn’t get stressed out.” Instead, he gets high. His new tape is nothing groundbreaking, even though he’s pretending that is: “If I had no legs I’d still be outstanding.”

Ray Garraty

Nick Mazzarella / Quin Kirchner — See or Seem: Live at the Hyde Park Jazz Festival (Out Of Your Head)

See or Seem: Live at the Hyde Park Jazz Festival by Nick Mazzarella / Quin Kirchner

 Perhaps the most remarkable thing about this recording is that the titular festival happened at all. While most festivals either canceled or went on line, Chicago’s Hyde Park Jazz Festival dealt with COVID by spreading out. Instead of big stages and indoor shows, last September it staged little pop-up events on sidewalks and in parks. So, if the sound of See or Seem feels a bit diffuse, it’s because it was recorded with a device propped in front of two guys playing on a grassy median. There are moments when the buzz of bugs rises up for a second behind Nick Mazzarella’s darting alto sax and Quin Kirchner’s brisk, mercurial beats. But the thrill of actually playing in front of some people (or actually being surrounded by them; when there’s no stage and social distancing is in effect, it makes sense to walk slow circles around the performers) infuses this music, extracting an extra ounce of joyousness from Mazzarella’s free, boppish lines, and adding a restlessness charge to the drumming, as though Kirchner really wanted to squeeze as much music as possible into this 31-minute set. This release is part of Out Of Your Head Records’ Untamed series of download-only albums recorded under less than pristine conditions. A portion of each title’s income is directed to a charity of the artists’ choice; the duo selected St. Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital.

Bill Meyer

 Dean McPhee — Witch’s Ladder (Hood Faire)

Witch's Ladder by Dean McPhee

Finger-picked melodies cut through haunted landscapes of echo and hum on this fourth LP from the British guitarist Dean McPhee. Track titles like “The Alchemist” and “Witch’s Ladder” evoke the supernatural, as does the spectral ambient tone, reminiscent of Chuck Johnson’s recent Cinder Grove or Mark Nelson’s last Pan•American album. Yet while an e-bow traces ghostly chills through “The Alder Tree,” there’s also a grounding in lovely, well-rooted folk forms; it’s like seeing a familiar landscape in moonlight, well-known landmarks suddenly turned unearthly and strange. The long closing title track has an introspective air. Pensive, jazz-infused runs flower into bright bursts of notes, not quite blues, not quite folk, not quite jazz, not quite anything but gorgeous.

Jennifer Kelly

 Moontype — Bodies of Water (Born Yesterday)

Bodies of Water by Moontype

Margaret McCarthy’s voice swims across your headphones like being on an innertube drifting languidly downstream. Typically, saying someone’s vocals are like water indicates a degree of timidity or laziness, obscured in reverb or simply buried by the mix, but on Moontype’s debut LP, it’s a compliment: McCarthy floats across the different styles of music she makes with guitarist Ben Cruz and drummer Emerson Hunton. You notice it not just because she often sings of water or because it’s right there in the title, but also because the Chicago trio hasn’t settled on any particular style yet — just listen to the three-song stretch at the heart of the record where achingly beautiful alt-country ballad “3 Weeks” leads into “When You Say Yes,” a sub-three-minute power-pop number Weezer ought to be jealous of, followed immediately by crunching alt-rock swoon and first single “Ferry.” All the while, McCarthy lets her melodies drift to the will of the songs. I’m reminded of recent efforts from Great Grandpa, Squirrel Flower and Lucy Dacus, but the brief, jazzy curveball of “Alpha” is a peek into whole other possibilities. Bodies of Water is a fine record, but perhaps its most exciting aspect is how much ground you can see Moontype has already conquered. One can’t help but wonder what sonic worlds awash in water await.

Patrick Masterson   

 Rob Noyes / Joseph Allred — Avoidance Language (Feeding Tube)

Avoidance Language by Rob Noyes and Joseph Allred

The 12-string guitar can emit such a prodigious amount of sound, and there are two of them on Avoidance Language. If Joseph Allred and Rob Noyes had planned things out in order to avoid canceling each other out, they might never have picked their instruments up, so they just started playing and listening. The result is not so much a summing of two broad spectrums of sound, but an instinctual blending of similar textures that ends up sounding significantly different from what either musician does on their own. Even when Allred switches to harmonium or banjo, as he does on the album’s two shorter tracks, the music rushes in torrential fashion. Their collaboration is so compatible that it often seems more like a recital for one big stringed thing played by one four-handed musician than a doubled instrumental duet.

Bill Meyer

NRCSSSST — S-T (Slimstyle)

NRCSSST by NRCSSST

There’s no “I” in NRCSSSST but there’s plenty of swagger. The Atlanta-based synth pop band, formed around Coathangers drummer and singer Stephanie Luke and Dropsonic’s Dan Dixon, taunts and teases in its opening salvo “All I Ever Wanted.” Luke rasps appealingly atop Spoon-style piano banging, and big shout along choruses erupt from sudden flares of synths. It’s all hedonism, but done with conviction. You haven’t heard a big rock song kick up this much fun in ages. “Love Suicide” bangs just as hard, its bass line muttering like a crazy person, unstable and ready to explode (and yet it doesn’t, it maintains its restraint even when the rest of the cut goes deliriously off the rails). Dixon can really sing, too, holding the long vibrating notes that lift these prickly jams into anthemry. It’s been a while since a band reminded me of INXS and U2 without sucking, but here we are. Sometimes guilty pleasures are just pleasures.

Jennifer Kelly

 Zeena Parkins / Mette Rasmussen /Ryan Sawyer — Glass Triangle (Relative Pitch)

Glass Triangle by Zeena Parkins, Mette Rasmussen, Ryan Sawyer

Harpist Zeena Parkins and Ryan Sawyer have a long-standing partnership in the trio substitutes Moss Garden, a chamber improv ensemble with pianist Ryan Ross. But swapping in Danish alto saxophonist Mette Rasmussen brings about a change, not just in instrumentation, but attitude. She plays free jazz like a punk, impatient and aggressive, and Parkins and Sawyer are up for the challenge. This music often plays out like a battle between two titans, one blowing and the other pummeling, while Parkins seeks to liquify the ground upon which they stand. She sticks exclusively to an electric harp whose effects-laden tone is disorientingly alien, blinking beacon-like one moment, low as a backhoe engage in earth removal the next. The combination of new and old relationships promotes a combination of instability and trust that yields splendid results.

Bill Meyer

 claire rousay — A Softer Focus (American Dreams)

a softer focus by claire rousay

In film, soft focus is a technique of contrast reduction that lends a scene a dreamlike quality. With A Softer Focus, claire rousay imbues her already intimate compositions with a noctilucent aura. She has created a dreamworld with sound. One glimpse at the glowing flowers that grace the cover art created by visual artist Dani Toral, with whom rousay closely collaborated on this release, and the illusory nature of the record is revealed. The reds, oranges, blues and purples of deep twilight are reflected in both the textures rousay weaves into her soundscapes and the visual themes that Toral conjures. Violin, cello, piano and synth are the musical origins of this warmth, which rousay wraps around environments crafted from the sounds of everyday life. She recorded herself moving about her apartment, visiting a farmer’s market, observing kids playing and just existing. These field recordings of the mundane, when coupled with the radiance of the musical elements, are magical. Snatches of conversation become incantations; auto-tuned vocals are the whisperings of spirits; fireworks explode into brilliant shards of crystal. With A Softer Focus, rousay takes a glimpse into the beauty of the everyday, showing us just how precious our most humdrum moments can be.

Bryon Hayes

Axel Rulay x Verbo Flow — Si Es Trucho Es Trucho / Axel Rulay (La Granja)

Axel Rulay must be kicking himself right now. With more than three million plays on the original version and more than five million on the remix that adds verses from Farruko and El Alfa into the fray, the Dominican is cruising into our second pandemic summer with an unbeatable poolside anthem — and to think, after years of clawing his way up through the industry dregs, working to get his name out there, all he had to do was make himself the chorus over Venezuelan producer Manybeat’s 2019 tropical house trip “El Tiempo.” Presto: Massive visibility in the Spanish-speaking world and a song that ought to transcend any linguistic barriers unlocked even if the best I can manage is a title that translates as “If It’s Trout It’s Trout.” Expect that long-desired Daddy Yankee collabo to follow any day now.

Patrick Masterson

  Rx Nephew — Listen Here Are You Here to Hear Me (NewBreedTrapper)

Rochester rapper Rx Nephew trailed brother-turned-archrival-turned-back Rx Papi’s coming out party 100 Miles and Walk’in by just a few weeks with the 53-minute all-in proposition Listen Here Are You Here to Hear Me. Unlike Papi’s Max B-ish smoothness, Nephew is all rough n’ tumble through these 17 tracks, provocative pump action with narrative bursts of violence and street hustling delivered with a verve most akin to DaBaby or, in some of his more elastic enunciations, peak Ludacris. A recent Creative Hustle interview provides some insight: The first time he went into the booth, “I didn’t write anything. I just started talking about selling crack and robbing people.” The stories haven’t stopped since. If he can keep putting out music as engaging as Listen Here…, Rx Nephew is destined for more than just the margins; until then, we have one of the year’s densest rap records to hold the line.

Patrick Masterson

 Nick Schofield — Glass Gallery (Backward Music)

Glass Gallery by Nick Schofield

Nick Schoefield, out of Montreal, composed these 13 tracks entirely on a vintage Prophet 600, the first synthesizer to designed to employ the then-new MIDI standard established by the instrument’s inventor Dave Smith and Roland’s Ikutaru Kakahashi. The instrument has a lovely, crystalline quality, floating effortless arpeggios through vaulting sonic spaces. Though clearly synthesized, these pieces of music resonate in serene and peaceful ways, evoking light, water, air and contemplation with a simplicity that evokes Japan. “Water Court” drips notes of startling purity into deep pools of tone-washed whoosh and hum. “Snow Blue Square” flutters an oboe-like melody over eddying gusts of keyboard motifs. The pieces fit together with calm precision, leading from one beautiful space to the next like a stroll through a museum.

Jennifer Kelly

  Archie Shepp — Blasé And Yasmina Revisited (Ezz-thetics)

The Ezz-thetics campaign to keep the best of mid-20th century free jazz on CD shelves (yes, CD, not streaming or LP) breaches the walls of the BYG catalog with a disc that issues one and a half albums from Archie Shepp’s busy week in August 1969. Blasé is a stand-out for the participation of singer Jeanne Lee, whose indomitable and flexible delivery as equal to the demands of material that’s be turns pungently earthy and steeped in antiquity. But the rest of the band, which includes Philly Joe Jones, Dave Burrell, some harmonica players, and a couple members of the Art Ensemble, is also more than equal to the task of filtering the blues and Ellingtonia through the gestures of the then-contemporary avant-garde. “Yasmina,” which originally occupied one side of another LP, makes sense here as an extension of the raw, rippling “Touareg,” the last tune on Blasé, into exultantly African territory.

Bill Meyer

 Juanita Stein — Snapshot (Handwritten)

Juanita Stein was the cool, serene, Mazzy Star-evoking vocal presence in the Aussie dream-gaze outfit Howling Bells, and she plays more or less the same role on her third solo album. Yet she is also the source of mayhem here, kicking up an angst of guitar-freaked turmoil on “1,2,3,4,5,6” then soothing it away with singing, hanging long threads of feedback from the thump-thump-thumping blues-rock architecture of “L.O.T.F.” and crooning dulcetly, but with a little yip, in the trance-y title track. This latter cut reflects on the death of her father, a kindred soul who wrote a couple of Howling Bells songs for her and passed away recently. It distills a palpable ache into pure, distanced poetry, finding a cool, dispassionate way to consider the mysteries of human loss.

Jennifer Kelly

 The Tiptons Sax Quartet & Drums — Wabi Sabi (Sowiesound)

Wabi Sabi by Tiptons Sax Quartet & Drums

Over its 30 years together, the Tiptons Sax Quartet has done less to hone its sound and more to figure out how many styles to embrace. The group (typically a soprano, alto, tenor, and baritone sax joined by percussion and even including some vocals) can dig into trad jazz but sounds more at home in exploration, adapting world music or other traditional American styles. The title of their latest album, Wabi Sabi refers to the Japanese concept of finding beauty in and accepting imperfection. The Tiptons, despite that sentiment, don't approach their play with a sloppy sound; in fact, they're as tight as ever. The understanding of impermanence and imperfection does help contextualize their risk-taking. When they turn to odd yodeling on “Moadl Joadl,” they find joy in an odd vocal moment that highlights expression and discovery over formal rigor. When they tap in New Orleans energy for “Jouissance,” we can connect the dots between parades and funerals, celebrating all the while. The whole album serves as a tour of styles and moods, always with an energetic potency. If it's more of the same from the Tiptons, that just means continuance of difference.

Justin Cober-Lake

[snowflake-of-destruction]

Imagine Roxas and Axel babysitting for Sora and Riku

Teamwork

"I like adding spontaneous, fun extra challenges to the day as much as the next guy, provided the next guy is you, but I have to say, I think Floor is Lava Tuesdays is a better idea than weird plastic puzzle locks on the cabinets."

Roxas glanced up from where he knelt on the floor, fixing covers and bars on the under the sink cabinets in the kitchen to see his husband framed in the doorway, looking the casual print ad model, chiseled lines under soft sweats, hands curled around a mug of steaming liquid that smelled almost as delicious as the holder (of course the mug was emblazoned with the word SLUT in bold letters which would probably have to be censored out of the ad), bun with just enough flyaways to seem careless but pulled to the perfect angle.  "I'm baby proofing."

"As the baby, I resent that remark," Axel tutted before setting his coffee next to the sink and crouching down beside Roxas. "What brought this on? You have some news to tell me?"

Axel expected an eye roll from his husband, but Roxas set the angry looking plastic finger trap he was holding down and ran a hand through his hair nervously, a mild pink tinge crawling up his neck and Axel felt his smile freeze in the middle of forming.  "Well, actually, I do have some news..."

"You're kidding." Axel felt his blood run cold and then super heated through his veins in quick succession as time slowed down.

Roxas's frown at the interruption morphed to a furrowed brow of confusion and then annoyance. "Axel, I told you already. Replica bodies don't work that way. I'm not going to 'go seahorse'"

"Xion can..."

"Xion is a special case. You are stuck with me with no alterations."

"Eh, I still have the much better end of the deal."

"Yeah, you do."

A shared smile and a quick kiss distracted Axel a moment longer from asking, "So what's the news?"

"I told Sora and Riku we'd babysit for them tonight." Roxas ripped the bandage off quickly. He braced for a less than enthusiastic response, though actually receiving one was still disappointing.

"Listen, I'm sorry about the acknowledgements. Every book I write is dedicated to 'my heart, my love, my Roxas.' I thought that was a given by now, and I just had to write what other dedications would come after it. It was the publisher's fault, and I should not be punished."

"I'm not punishing you," Roxas felt his face wilt as he picked back up the baby proofing supplies to finish what he had started. "I thought it would be fun. Riku and Sora really need a night out, and it gives us a chance to, you know, see what it's like."

It wasn't that Axel missed Roxas's hurt tone or his latter words and their meaning, even if they had been mumbled. It was more a combination of not wanting to be lured toward a slippery slope of manipulation or ready to revisit the conversation of whether he felt they should start seriously thinking about adding to their family soon rather than a general "some day" they'd always said before. Roxas had brought it up last week, and Axel appreciated that he had, but it hadn't exactly gone well when he'd been taken by surprise and his gut instinct response was less enthusiastic than Roxas had seemed to want. He was letting the idea soak in now, and it needed a little more time to marinate before he could give a response. If Roxas was going to push, it would probably need even more time. So it was better not to toe too closely to the sensitive, personal part of baby discussion and do what they both had the inclination to always go back to, deflection with a joke. "To let a Babynort into the house?"

"Ripan is not a Nort." Roxas hissed defense of his other's son since Sora and Ripan couldn't defend themselves.

"Then how come he has white hair? Answer me that," Axel challenged.

"He has silver hair. Like Riku. Riku's genes are the only inherited evil Ripan has and I don't think we should hold that against him. He's just a baby."

"No, no, babies are adorable balls for holding and cooing at and then handing back to their parents. Terrifying because their heads are squishy and they can't hold them up, but otherwise not dangerous at all. This thing is mobile. I've seen it." Axel lent the revelation the appropriate air of horror, though he neglected to mention he'd seen Ripan crawling up a wall, imitating either one of his fathers or the younger Incredible boy, which rendered his warning easily mistaken for his typical melodrama.

"That's why I'm baby proofing."

"Did you get the upstairs?"

"It's not going to be able to climb the stairs by itself...Is it?"

Axel thought it over since the stair thing seemed to alarm Roxas. "Probably more easily than it could get to the ceiling. I'm just going to feed it ice cream and hope that appeases it."

"I don't think it..he can have ice cream yet. Sora said he was going to write us a list of rules."

Axel's attitude toward the night ahead of them turned on a dime when the suggestion that someone else thought he was less than capable intruded to punch at his ego.  "Rules like what? We know what to do."

"Damn straight." Roxas stood, dusted off his hands, and stole Axel's coffee off the counter.

"We'd be great with kids," Axel insisted, reaching out to take the coffee back, taking a sip, and returning it to Roxas.

"That's right," Roxas encouraged.

"We take care of Demyx!" Axel could honestly say that he'd fed, bathed, and rocked Demyx to sleep under different circumstances. Luckily, no diapers had ever been involved. "We're Turkey's dads!"

"And he's the most demanding little baby of all!" Roxas championed Axel's logic even while being reminded that he'd forgotten to feed Turkey before starting his project with the cabinets. He'd have to rectify that now. It was a miracle Turkey wasn't already dramatically expressing the utter betrayal of being left to starve.

"Next to me," Axel provided the punchline at his expense.

"Next to you." Roxas leaned up on tiptoe to steal a kiss and pressed the coffee cup with its last sips at the bottom into his husband's hands for him to finish off. "Now go put on something more suitable for tonight."

"What's more suitable than sweats for babysitting a baby? A tarp?" Axel drained the coffee.

"Put on something nice."

"Is Ripan conducting a formal interview before storytime?"

"No, but his dads might."

Roxas's instincts turned out to be right. Sora and Riku not only had a list of rules but a pop quiz on protocol and babysitting readiness that needed to be passed before they would leave, despite the fact that Roxas and Axel, already had the job, were doing it as a favor, were only taking Ripan for a few hours and not permanently adopting him and taking him into the heart of Deep Jungle, and Riku and Sora's normal babysitter was a fifteen year old girl (though Violet had warned them that she might have to cut back even more than she had. Ripan and her brother Jack Jack tended to be "a little challenging" in her words, when she had to watch both of them).

Ripan's part of the testing was to sit on the floor sucking on his giraffe pacifier and rolling an alphabet block between his hands, occasionally looking up with large, liquid blue eyes either to question why he was sitting on a strange floor or to ask why his dads were still there. Or maybe to ask why the other baby curled in the entertainment center next to the cable box was so ugly and meowed.

"I promise you. Ripan is going to have so much fun tonight he's never going to want to leave...but he's also going to be asleep by nine and I won't forget to rub the cream on his arms before I put on his sleepytime shirt," Roxas swore, crossing his heart over the I like coffee and maybe three people shirt he'd neglected to change out of despite telling Axel to look nice.

"Okay, I believe in you," Sora assured him before selling out his husband. "But Riku sincerely does not. So can you please promise me you will take extra good care of our little angel? I know he's kind of a handful, but-"

"Are you kidding?" Axel chuckled, unperturbed. "You're talking to the best babysitters in the business. There is no one more qualified for this job."

"You've literally never done this before," Riku groused, hands clenching in his pockets as he regressed to his old nervous tick.

"We are totally capable of taking care of your precious angel, okay? It's not like we don't have kids too." Roxas gestured to the entertainment center where Turkey sat, eyeing the miniature human. It had eyes like His Boy, so Turkey thought he might be able to trust it, but the threat of someone else Heat Giver and His Boy might want to snuggle that was not Turkey was hard to face.

"That's why I'm concerned," Riku concentrated on breathing evenly through his nose and not sounding too snappish. "That is not a child. That is a cat in a knit sweater."

"We'll be fine," Roxas insisted, ignoring Riku's slight, when defending Turkey's status as first child would make Sora and Riku miss their reservation. "We have your list and everything he needs. You two just enjoy yourselves!"

"See, it's fine, Riku." Sora nudged Riku toward the door. "Bye Ripan! Behave yourself for your uncles!"

Ripan gurgled solemnly, swearing to be nothing but the perfect child.

"Have fun guys! We'll be back around eleven!" Sora nudged Riku a bit harder, recognizing him for the immoveable object he was. "Riku stop glaring and walk."

Roxas opened the door for them, Axel waved to them as they retreated, Roxas closed the door. It was a total of maybe fifteen seconds they didn't have eyes on Ripan. The first fifteen seconds they were in charge of the vulnerable life of the baby that had been sitting near motionless and content in the living room for fifteen minutes. The baby that was still sitting content after those fifteen seconds and still near motionless, just with his pacifier out of his mouth and on the floor beside him and his mouth working as if he were chewing.

Axel and Roxas shared a glance and dove at the same time. Ripan shrieked, which should have proved his mouth was empty, but Axel used the opportunity to sweep a finger inside the child's mouth to make sure. Ripan employed natural defenses. Namely, biting down as hard as he could with his four impressive teeth.

Axel howled. Ripan laughed which allowed the red head to withdraw his injured hand. Roxas comforted Axel, for a moment, then warned him not to take his eyes off Ripan again because they might not get lucky again, and went to wash floor germs from the pacifier for the first, but, by no means, last time of the night. Minute one drew to a close with everyone still unscathed.

Minute fifteen gave birth to everyone's least favorite game, Turkey Chase and Smack, though Crawl Behind Couch gave it a difficult battle for the title.

At the end of the first hour, a nice balance had been found and everyone was getting along until Axel tried to heat up a bottle by summoning fire in his hand and subsequently scalded his wrist while testing results, as well as putting the idea of fire into Ripan's head. Sora had been right. Ripan was very smart and liked to try and mimic what the big people did. The living room couch suffered.

The next hurdles were The Incident of the Second Bottle Being Too Cold, The Great Despair of not Being Able to Have Both Bottle and Pacifier at the Same Time, Bottle Gone Too Quick, The Pukening, Second Washing of the Pacifier and Trial of Separation Anxiety, The Changing of the Onesies with Ripan Super Spleen Kicking Action, and The Pukening Part Two: Roxas's Shirt Looks Absorbent.

It was all minor stuff. Normal stuff. Expected, other than perhaps setting fire to the couch.

The real trouble didn't begin until the pacifier was lost.

[cloudofash]

Kingdom Hearts - Riku’s Possessiveness and Jealousy Part 3

The Counter Arguments

Please read Part 1 here.

Please read Part 2 here.

Please read Part 2 Addendum here.

So far I have hopefully connected some dots to build up to the claim that Riku was always in love Sora so no one can say I pulled this all out of my rump. While it’s obviously true that I am a HUGE Soriku fan, I didn’t come into Kingdom Hearts with the intention of shipping. Actually, I disliked Riku at first because I looked at him on the surface, but he's now my most favorite character in the series because of his development and I appreciate KH1 Riku now because I looked back and realized why he was such a brat. When I put together that he possibly had feelings for his best friend everything made sense. By KH2 I was like “Hm...Riku seems to harbor very strong feelings for Sora” and by DDD I was like “Oh hell, this boy is in love.” I know that my arguments will not change everyone’s mind, in fact I’m sure many read everything I said and came to the conclusion “Look at this crazy Soriku fangirl, reaching to make her pairing real!” I get it, such is the way in any fanbase. For this reason I would like to dedicate this part of my Jealous Riku series to counter some of the common counter arguments. I promise to shut up about KH1 Riku and his jealousy after this lol, I'll be focusing on current Riku and the series' future.

First and most importantly, how do we know Riku is possessive of Sora because he is in love with him? Couldn’t he just be jealous of others who claim his spot as Sora's best friend? If Riku was just possessive of his best friend in a platonic way then that would pretty much destroy my theory that he is attracted to and in love with Sora. I would say in Riku’s case, no his jealousy wasn't platonic. Riku’s possessiveness goes far beyond what is normal for a best friend. Let’s look back on the scene where he meets Donald and Goofy. If Riku actually bothered to introduce himself and be cordial with Donald and Goofy and Sora sided with Donald even after he refused to let Riku board the ship then I wouldn’t even be here writing this. Riku would have rightfully been angry with his best friend, angry that Sora chose to stick by a rude duck over his childhood friend of however many years. But this didn’t happen. Riku gave Donald and Goofy a hard look within seconds of acknowledging their presence. Though Donald shows that he’s a jerk Goofy was nice, but neither matter because Riku had already decided he didn’t like either of them. This is not normal jealousy, this is clearly a sign of extreme possessiveness. He doesn’t like ANYONE new to be around Sora or act friendly with him regardless of their intentions.

Some will probably claim "It's Kingdom hearts the writing is just bad". This is something I've seen before and I want to stress that this is not an argument it's an opinion. Some think the writing in the series is good, some say it’s decent, it's all subjective. For the sake of argument, let's run with the idea that someone claims "Nomura didn't know how to properly express Riku's jealousy which is why he seemed possessive" to branch off the "bad writing" idea. I have two counters for this: Sora and Isa/Saix. Sora says himself in KH2 that he was jealous of Riku which is why he always wanted to compete with him and hopefully beat him. Sora exhibited a far healthier form of jealousy, he didn’t care if Riku went off and made new friends, Sora never gave any hard side-eyes to Mickey when he found Riku had started hanging out with him. He didn’t start to hate or dislike Riku, he just wanted to compete with and beat him with his own strength. As for the case with Saix, in KH3 he told Axel that he was jealous of his relationship with Roxas and Xion. His jealousy compares greatly to Riku's, he saw someone he was once best friends with get close to someone else. But Saix specifically says:

This is where he differs from Riku, Saix isn't jealous of Roxas and Xion because he's possessive of Axel. Axel stopped hanging around with Saix, stopped helping him look for their missing friend and started focusing more and more on Roxas and Xion which occurred over a period of time not instantly. This goes back to what I said about rightful anger, Saix had every right to feel upset and abandoned by Axel. His jealousy was reasonable. Sora, at no point, alienated Riku the way Axel alienated Saix. Sora never took Donald's side when he said Riku couldn't come, Sora argued with Donald in Riku's defense. Even prior to that, Sora never abandoned or alienated Riku on the island and even when the darkness was swallowing Riku Sora tried to take his hand and go with him. Sora's and Saix's jealousy shows that Nomura/the KH writers (since they do change) know full well how to write jealousy in several different ways, therefore the argument that Riku's possessive jealousy is somehow bad writing is moot. I believe Nomura knew exactly how he wanted to portray Riku. 

Another counterargument that I commonly see is “Riku wasn’t jealous of people close to Sora, he was jealous of Sora himself he said so in KH2″. First of all, Riku said specifically that he was jealous of Sora because he wished he could “follow his heart” the way Sora did and that could be interpreted in a NUMBER of ways that prove my point but I’ll return to that in a second. Some people took this as meaning Riku was jealous of Sora being a Keyblade Wielder but this isn't possible. Riku’s darkness began on Destiny Islands BEFORE Sora even obtained the Keyblade in fact Riku’s darkness is what caused Sora to obtain it in the first place as confirmed by Nomura.

“That part is also a bit vague. In the Destiny Islands when Riku is swallowed by the darkness, there's a sparkle of light, and next comes the scene where Sora first gets the Keyblade, right? In my setting, the darkness wrapping itself around those two is the darkness of Riku's heart. At the moment when Sora enters that darkness, the light you can see is the light of the heart. Sora, trying to help Riku, struggling in the darkness, touches that light and temporarily the Keyblade goes to Sora. “ - Nomura

Riku could not be jealous of Sora being a Keyblade Wielder if it’s HIS darkness, HIS jealousy that leads to Sora getting the Keyblade in the first place. This point has been debunked.

Now if we look at what Riku says about being jealous of Sora because he’s able to “follow his heart”...I don’t know about you but doesn’t that seem like Riku’s admitting that he’s jealous that Sora can follow his heart to Kairi? Sora literally spent all of KH1 following his heart, searching for his crush. Even before that Sora was constantly thinking about Kairi and sharing a papou fruit with her even going as far as to draw himself feeding her the fruit. Riku would only be jealous of this if he was in a position where he couldn’t follow his heart. This point about Riku being jealous of Sora actually backs up what I said about Riku being attracted to Sora and learning that Sora is attracted to Kairi, Riku literally can’t follow his heart to his hetero (hopefully bisexual) crush. This would yet again explain Riku's initial descent into darkness - he had everything he wanted, the strongest, the smartest, the admiration of the other Island Children, the only thing he didn't have is Sora himself and he grew jealous of Kairi, of Sora's feelings for her. Now I’m not saying this is true, because Riku could also be jealous of Sora’s ability to follow his heart to his friends in general and not just his romantic crush. You know, the whole platonic thing which is the most likely meaning behind Riku’s words because KH is all about friendships which is why I did not use this as proof in my essay because I have no way to prove or even show evidence of which way Riku meant it. I’m just saying it is still possible Riku was referring to the romantic side of “following one’s heart”, he could have even meant both.

Now that we have established that Riku’s jealousy was definitely possessive, let’s head to some of the other arguments. There is usually the “Riku is straight argument” which runs along the lines of "Riku said he wanted to share the paopu fruit with Kairi so the one he is in love with is her." Or "Riku is about to be paired with Naminé , he is attracted to girls and is therefore straight." I already addressed Riku’s feelings about Kairi in the 2nd Part, there isn’t really anymore left to add. Namine is also easy to debunk. Nomura confirmed in the KH3 Ultimania that Riku only helped Naminé obtain a Replica body to act on behalf of Repliku’s feelings. In other words, as of now there ain’t nothin’ between them. Riku’s only reason for ever interacting with Namine was to help Sora retrieve his memories and he hasn’t really interacted with her too much beyond that. Not to say Square couldn't pull this pairing out of their ass but it would leave much to be desired since this ship doesn't have the buildup that Soriku has. I hope they never go down the route of throwing random pairs out for the sake of pleasing het shippers.

The final common argument that I see literally EVERYWHERE, in just about any fandom, is the inane argument that “You fangirls just want to make everything gay. Such-and-such is a Japanese work and the Japanese put a higher emphasis on male bonding and intimacy and friendship but it’s not gay, these two characters could never be gay. Japan doesn’t accept homosexuality - blah blah blah”

And wheeeeeew chile, there is so much to unpack here. I honestly didn't even want to touch this but since I see it so much in the KH fandom I felt compelled to address this. First of all, it irks me when people act like homosexuality doesn’t exist at all in Japan. Statistics from 2018 claim that about 8.9% of the Japanese population identify as LGBT+ between the ages of 20 to 59. That’s 1.1% away from being 10% of the ages 20-59 population, that is a significant number. It is incredibly ignorant to claim that Japanese people do not accept homosexuality, they are all individuals and naturally there will be close-minded people who don’t but there are many who do. The conservative Japanese politicians don’t accept it, but then again neither do most American politicians. Don’t mistake the views of the politicians as the views of the people.

Now, while it is true that those in Japan have different views on masculinity than some in America (ie: men soaking in a hot springs together, touching or even sitting on each others laps isn’t incorrectly labeled as “gay” like it most likely would be here in the States) this doesn’t mean that Japanese people don’t know the distinction between platonic intimacy and romantic intimacy. They know full well the difference between the two, it’s awful to claim with such arrogance that they don’t know as if they’re clueless. Even within the anime/manga/videogame industry Shounen-Ai and Yaoi exists with men kissing, hugging, touching romantically. As a matter of fact, the Kingdom Hearts novels themselves heavily imply that there is more between Sora and Riku and that Riku does have romantic feelings for Sora. There was a scene in the KH2 novel where Axel asks Riku "What is Sora to you?" Riku is lost for words, instead Namine answers that they're "best friends" for him. Read it for yourself below:

This is the official Kingdom Hearts novel by the way, the writer and artist (Tomoco Kanemaki and Shiro Amano) are both Japanese. Not a random "fangirl's fanfic". And let's not forget that Nomura approves these novels and the manga. They seem to have no problem writing/approving of Riku being canonically gay. You can dislike it all you want but it’s here to stay so get over it. Don't be the person who makes this horrible argument.

The one last counter I want to make is this: If you are against Soriku ask yourself if you would accept the pairing if Riku was a girl.

This Jealous Riku series focused heavily on Kingdom Hearts 1 but there is content across the entire series which could also act as strong evidence for Riku’s feelings. I could go on for years about how much evidence there is in this series. You can find such evidence plastered all across the net, I will probably touch upon some of it myself. This marks my series' conclusion, I hope the evidence I provided and the counter-arguments I’ve made show that Riku is truly in love with his best friend and that it’s not impossible that Riku could love Sora in a romantic way. Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this!!

[sav-grey]

who: sav & jene ( @jenevievemccoy​ ) when: after jene’s assembly

Jenevieve had received the secret she was to reveal in front of the whole student body. It wasn’t hard gathering them around. She was on student council so holding a assembly saying there was important news for both the high school and college students. She hated this, it was still better than the alternative, she just hated how both options hurt Axel. She only hoped he didn’t hate her after all of this. Once everyone was gathered in the auditorium, she walked up to the podium, staring back at the student body. “Attention students of Luxor. I have some unfortunate news to share. While this girl walks the halls and terrorizes everyone inside, her acts of aggressions towards the luxor students is not her first. I feel it only important for everyone to know so you can watch your back so you also don’t fall victim to this bitches psychotic actions.” Jenevieve paused as she took a deep breath. Maybe Axel would believe she was blackmailed into it. But she doubted he would ever speak to her after this. “Madeline Benoit was expelled from Institut Le Rosey in Switzerland for pushing her frenemy down the stairs and killing her. Her school covered it up and forced her out and dumped her on our doorstep.” She took a deep breath, forcing her voice not to crack. “While it is claimed as a prank gone wrong, we will never know for sure, the way maddie terrorizes those who do not like her is proof enough that she is not afraid to use violence to solve her problems as she almost killed me as well. So next time you see her in the halls, turn and run. You may be next” Jenevieve placed the mic down before leaving the auditorium and going into a classroom nearby. She tried to calm herself down, counting things she saw and taking deep breaths, hearing footsteps approaching, she spun around. “Stay away from me”

Sav had been mostly avoiding school-wide events. Especially ones where she had to be sober. Ever since the secret santa party, she had been trying to avoid everyone for the most part, and then when she snapped at Zander during the blind date party, essentially confirming everything, well….that had caused her to retreat into hiding again. So for this important assembly, she came in at the last second, hovering by the doors so she could bolt as soon as it was over. She wasn’t the first to bolt though. Jene was. Sav wasn’t surprised, because if she learned anything about her former roommate, it was that she pretended to talk big and then backed off as soon as it came down to it. She…didn’t hesitate in assuming it was true, if she was being honest. She knew Maddie, and also knew (from personal experience) that the secrets coming out now were…somehow true. So she followed Jene. It was easy enough for her to slip out of the doors after all that. “What the fuck was that?” Sav asked, her head tipping to one side as she ignored Jene’s words. “Should I assume you were behind telling the school bullshit about me, too? Some sort of sick vendetta against Maddie and I because the entire school fucking hates you and we’re the obvious ones to take it out on? Pathetic. Even for you.”

Jenevieve snapped around to face Savannah. "I don't have you Savannah, and It wasn't me that leaked your secret, to be quite frank, I wasn't even there when your secret was revealed. I haven't heard what it even was besides whispers." She spoke honestly. "It wasn't me. I didn't want to do this. I didn't have a choice. You think I wanted to stand up there and call the girl that threatens me a murderer in front of the whole school? I don't have a death wish, but I got a bounty on my head now."

“God, get your head out of your own ass and learn to listen, Jenevieve,” Sav snapped in return, her eyes narrowing. “I didn’t say you hated me. I said the whole school hates you,” she corrected as she stepped forward, narrowing the distance between them. “Sure, Jene. Sure. I definitely believe that,” she continued, the sarcasm practically visible in how it was dripping from her words. “You’ve had it out for Maddie since she started fucking Axel, despite the fact that if you had any self respect, you would’ve confronted him about it instead of being the type of low class trash who blames the other girl,” she continued, really getting into it now. Honestly, maybe it was unfair to take this all out on Jene, but…Sav had been bottling up too much for too long now. “As for the bounty? Well, you got that right. Because you’re exactly the type of person to work the Crusade, or hell, even start it. So excuse me if I don’t believe your little innocent act.”

"I know what you said. I heard you, You also said I had a sick vendetta against you and Maddie. I just wanted to emphasize that I do not hate you nor have any issues with you." Jenevieve pointed out. "Actually, me and Axel talked it out. So your theory is wrong there." She said referring back to the letters. "Axel was the one three timing everyone, although he wasn't dating any of us. I've moved on from that. And to correct you, I've had it out for Maddie the day she harassed me in the hall and I poured my latte on her head." She informed the other. "It had nothing to do with Axel. She was a thorn in my side for a while, but if you can tell, I don't really talk to Axel much anymore." They haven't really spoken since the letters. "Come on Savannah, you lived with me for a whole year. I don't know shit about anyone. I will confirm the crusade is behind this, but I am not behind the crusade. If I was, you really think I would stand in front of everyone and reveal a secret, because now everyone thinks I am behind it, You would be thick to think I could pull something so harsh off."

“If anything, it seems to me like you’re the one who bullied Maddie, Jene. Pouring a coffee on someone? Pretty fucked up. People have been sued over less. And yet you still hold a grudge against Maddie but were willing to ‘talk it out’ with Axel?” Sav asked, complete with air quotes as she raised her eyebrows at the redhead. “That’s pathetic, Jene. I know I’ve said that a million times already, but truly, there isn’t another word to describe you. Here you are, calling Maddie a murderer in front of the whole school? Do you even register how fucked that is? God, you really deserved it when she tried to strangle you, didn’t you?” she said, disbelief crossing her face as she spoke. Sav paused, rolling her eyes at the other girl. “You’re right. You aren’t smart enough to pull it off. But whoever did start it wasn’t an idiot when they got you to do their dirty work. Because you have nothing to lose, right? No friends, no boyfriend, hell, pretty sure even your sister hates you. You’re so obviously the type of person who would be manipulated into this just to make everyone around you as miserable as you are. It’s disgusting. Can’t wait for this all to blow up in your face. You’ll be even more alone than you already are. Which even I didn’t think was possible. Good luck!” she added, a twisted smirk coming to her face as she turned on her heel, tossing her hair over her shoulder as she started to walk away, other students starting to stream out of the auditorium at this point.

[fieryrondo]

my report on skate canada 2019 and how i fell in love with figure skating all over again (part 1)

It’s taken me about a month to sit down and write this. Not necessarily due to lack of time (though that is a factor) but because the experience was so much. Even now, with grainy photos and videos taken with a trembling hand as proof of my time there, Skate Canada feels like a bit of a fever dream. The best kind that leaves you breathless, heart-pounding and longing for more.

I’m not a stranger to traveling alone but this would be my first international venture for something solely recreational, something solely just for me. A purely selfish pleasure. The planning itself was a.process that evolved over the course of months. And to be honest, there were times when I thought this trip wouldn’t happen at all. My flight, booked months in advance, got moved up several hours earlier than expected, forcing me to decide between missing part of the gala or to stay an extra night. Personal problems drained my stamina, and several bouts of poor health stoked the fear that this day would never come. It only became real when I set off for Boston, carry-on, and swan plush in tow, for the first leg of my journey.

Kelowna, a charming lake-resort town in the middle of nowhere British Columbia. There are no direct flights from the East Coast there and I ended up having an overnight stopover in Toronto. From what I saw from the vantage point of the aircraft, Toronto was a beautiful city and reminded me a little of Los Angeles. However, I had little time to appreciate the city. I checked into a hotel to shower, warm up some leftovers, and resurrect my dying phone.

(above) My companions for the journey. 

The swan was for Yuzuru, I know it is traditional to give him a Pooh bear but I picked the swan because it was the first program of his that I saw and to this day, it is still my favorite. It has a lot of meaning for me. The Sakura Pooh was my lucky charm, the Pooh ears a last-minute purchase. 

Due to my schedule, I had to miss the first day, which itself was a bit of a risk. Isn’t it crazy? Traveling thousands of kilometers just to watch half a competition? I certainly thought so. Not to mention how Yuzuru performed during the short would have a direct impact on how he would approach the free skate. Skate Canada has never been his strongest competition. Even if he was the overwhelming favorite, like most fanyus, I’ve learned to take nothing for granted. When I heard that he skated well in the short, I breathed a little more easily before settling down to draft my letter.

“Perhaps it’s a bit forward of me, a complete stranger, to wish you this, but congratulations on your chest muscles” was the opening line of my letter, as suggested by my good friend Tanya over @turistinmyowncity​. I was too embarrassed to actually take photographic evidence but rest assured I did include it. I like to think that it may have made Yuzuru smile. A gold foil origami crane was added for additional luck. Like many fans, I was keeping my fingers crossed for Yuzuru’s first Skate Canada title.

And then it was off to the airport again, this time for the second leg of the flight. Unlike the first flight, not so many passengers were flying to Kelowna and we all got to pick our own seats.

It did not occur to me that catching Yuzuru’s practice was even within the realm of possibility until I had realized that we had arrived in Kelowna 30 minutes earlier than scheduled. A fanyu i had been corresponding with had texted: “Yuzuru’s skating second to last in practice. If you hurry, you might make it.”

*insert dramatic cinematic action sequence where I race to the nearest cab driver, shakily request to be taken to Prospera Palace expediently without breaking any traffic safety laws and then quietly die to the barely heard strains of Origin while the main entrance security guard painstakingly searches my luggage.*

One of the most vivid memories I have of Skate Canada is dragging my ridiculously bulky carryon (gimpy wheel and all) up the flight of stairs in Section 114, trying to flatten myself and become one with the stairwell wall and not get in anyone’s way. A volunteer took pity on me and let me stand on the top of the steps for a closer look. The first thing I saw, of course, was Pooh-san, that bright splash of red and yellow works perfectly as a homing beacon.

I missed Origin but was able to catch the last few minutes of practice. As for first impressions go, I’m afraid I don’t have anything particularly new to offer. Yuzuru looks as exactly as he does in photos. Sharp, precise, graceful. And fast! He kept practicing what looked like his entrance into quad loop. 

With men’s practice over, I met up with fellow fanyu VentusCantabile, an extremely sweet person with an excellent singing voice :). I dropped off my luggage at our Airbnb (conveniently located two blocks away) before rushing back over to the arena for the free dance. The venue itself is not that big so even in seats from the nosebleed section you can get a pretty good view. I was in section 112, the closest I could get to the judges' side view and also got a decent(ish) view of the kiss and cry.

I must confess that I don’t really follow ice dance and am unable to provide anything insightful. To me, everyone looked absolutely stunning. I cheered extra loud for Sara Hurtado/Kirill Khaliavin, the first Spanish ice dancers to win a Grand Prix medal. It’s no secret that I miss Javi terribly since his retirement so it was so nice to see Spanish figure skating continue to make strides. Sara’s story is also particularly inspiring. Like Javi, she has worked extremely hard to put Spanish figure skating on the map.

Other teams that impressed were: Gilles/Pourier, Hubbell/Donohue and Fear/Gibson. Fear/Gibson had an especially fun program and the Russian family next to me were so cute in that they were cheering for all of the European teams.

And then it was time for the ladies.

Media will talk about Trusova’s mindbogglingly difficult quads, Rika’s sublime triple axel, Medvedeva’s fight of a free, but the free skate of the night for me personally was Marin’s La La Land. So tenderly skated! Marin is so lovely and a true pleasure to watch live. To watch her bravely skate through (bandage and all) the best free she’s had in ages, how meaningful it must have been. And thus the first sea of Japanese flags washed through the stands. 

Here is Evgenia! Her dress is actually extremely beautiful. A very charismatic skater, there were a lot of fans who had come from overseas to cheer for her. 

Cute podium :)

Then a break for lunch. The funniest thing I found about being in Kelowna is how it is no exaggeration that figure skating fans just take over the town. The restaurant we went to was packed full of figure skating fans. Talking with fanyus was surprisingly easy. A bit awkward at first but it wasn’t long before we were easily chatting about scoring GOE guidelines and work and other fandom interests.

Then back to the rink for pairs. Given that there was a dearth of filled seats in the lower rows, I half-guiltily took the opportunity to sit a bit closer.

Watching pairs. Is. Terrifying. Lifts are hella more impressive. Twists are gravity defying. Throws are put your hands together and pray the guy does his part to help his partner land those jumps.

Vladimir Morozov lifting Evgenia Tarasova. I appreciated them a lot more live. Their elements are huge and so so clean.

Boikova/Kozlovskii are also now officially my favorite Russian pairs team. I had originally planned on filming their free since seeing quality pairs skating is such a rare opportunity in the US (cough, cough, please invest in pairs more, usfsa). I could not take my eyes off of them for one second. They were so confident and radiating electric charisma from start to finish. A young team with a very bright future!

Between the break, I also spotted Elladj Blade and Kevin Reynolds, the latter was kindly signing autographs. I was too shy to approach either of them but let me tell you Kevin is very sweet with little kids.

And then on to the men! The arena was starting to fill again so I ended up moving up a few rows. I was nervous (for a variety of reasons) but this was ultimately the event I came to see. Watching men is a bit like Russian roulette, you can either expect magnificence or implosion (or sometimes both). Not too many falls but pops are quite painful to see, especially when you know they are so costly. Still, there was a lot to like. Watching Matteo made my heart ache because his style reminds me so much of Javi’s (and doing a flamenco program does not make that association any easier). Roman is also really gorgeous to watch live, but he was so nervous during the free he was unable to show us what he’s really capable of.

At some point, you can sense the audience’s point of focus shift, probably during Camden’s skate (also really liked Camden!). I was sitting pretty close to the side of the skater’s entrance and noticed that all of the fans right by the stairwell had their phones/cameras out. Stairwell shooting is always a reliable indicator of Yuzuru’s arrival ^^

That roar of approval when Yuzuru takes off his jacket is something else. Origin 2.0 is a beautiful costume and way, way more sparkly in real life. Photos don��t quite do the sparkles justice.

Those six minutes of warm-up were honestly some of the most stressful I’ve experienced. Yuzuru kept drilling the quad loop, the jump that he had been having trouble with during practice. After he had gotten a beautiful one under his belt (good, please do that again in the free), he seemed to calm down.

I found it very difficult to concentrate on the other skaters in the second group. By then the stadium was packed and every seat was filled. I had doubts about whether or not I would even get the chance to throw my gift onto the ice because I was so high up and nowhere near the aisle. Worst case scenario, I would just keep my swan.

Keiji!!! He was so fun to watch here. I really love both of his programs this season and he was totally on from the very first jump! Not gonna lie, I saw my life flash before my eyes when he almost ran straight into the boards on his second sal, and then the dainty single toe on the end made me laugh. :)

So it never occurred to me, a formerly strictly broadcast viewer, the amount of time that skaters have right before they skate. There is SO much time. While they were doing the slow-mo replay and the judges were punching buttons, Yuzuru was already whizzing on the ice. He landed a very beautiful quad toe. Feather light. Airy. Calm and commanding, he looked good to go.

At this point, I put down my phone. Although part of me cried at the thought of not having a personal recording of Yuzuru’s free, it felt important to focus entirely on him with my own two eyes.

There are no words that can quite describe what I felt when watching Origin. When I look back on this skate, I can only remember how hard I ground my teeth. How I could feel the opening drum beats like the beats of a human heart. How my knuckles whitened as they grasped the edge of my hard seat. Yuzuru went for the loop and spun out, clinging on to the ice by the edge of his blade. Not the prettiest landing but he made it.

The sal next, smooth as silk. Step sequence, violin choreo(!!), that scream for the prettiest triple lutz I’ve seen. Quad toe. How many quads left. My fingernails were digging into my plastic wrapped swan. THAT FUCKING QUAD TOE-EULER-TRIPLE FLIP. Ahhhhhhhh, roll of thunder, hear our cry.

The CLAPPING. 6000 voices in perfect synchrony. Every completed jumping pass felt like a victory charge. That bionic knee bend determination to eke out that double toe. All jumping passes cleared. At some point I must have started breathing again. A song in my heart, indiscriminate joy squeezing the heck out of my vocal cords. Lay down that ina bauer! A tiny slip on the hydroblade but he’s done it. He’s ground the silver curse to dust. When you’re screaming at the top of your lungs but you can’t hear a thing because everyone else around you is screaming louder than you. Final clapping sequence. Dramatique pose, punch the air. Sound your barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world.

322.59!!! Feels. So. Damn. Right.

[storm-driver]

Hi! Do you have any writing tips for Roxas and Ventus? :D

I am about to bash heads in with this, you might wanna sit down.

I’m known to be particularly brutal when it comes to analysis and judgement of others’ works, so asking for my advice might lead to me being very harsh about it. I also just typed up a bit of shit and one misclick on my keyboard deleted literally all of and I’m PISSED the fuck off at Tumblr for not having an AUTO SAVE FEATURE ON POSTS. But whatever here we go

I’d qualify this as a character’s study, because that’s honestly what I’m doing. I’m gonna cite to you my character studies for Roxas and Ventus. I’ve spent literal days analyzing their archetypes and who they are as people. And all I’m gonna do is cite it. Below the cut because oof I got a LOT TO SAY

Ventus is one character I see people get half right and half wrong in their fan works. Many characterize him as a bubbly and upbeat, naive child with hardly a copious sense of what it means to be the kind of child warrior that he is. A Mary Sue, to use a term. And to an extent, Ventus can seem very Mary-Sue-like, being such a young person and such a caring and, at times, gullible child.

In the story of BBS, we see Ventus progress through the worlds in search of his friend, deliberately defying his Master’s wishes in the process. When he finds out one of his friends, Aqua, was only out looking for them to drag them home, he called her an awful person. From the moment he met Vanitas, he was flat out rude (though with reason).

Point being, even if Ventus’ heart is literally made from pure light, he is not a pure person. He makes mistakes. He has choices he regrets. He’s not happy with everything that’s ever happened. He has his dislikes, things that make him uncomfortable, things that he hates. He’s not a saint. He’s not without flaws. So in my honest opinion, he cannot be written without them.

One of Ven’s most defining character traits is his personality being a near polar opposite of Roxas’, the character whom he most resembles. Ventus is upbeat, he’s outgoing, he wants to see new places and meet new people. He wants to protect those people and he wants to call them his friends. And sometimes, that’s his downfall.

His overtly strong care for Terra, as his brother-in-training, led him to defy his Master and go out on his own. This led to Ven going about and protecting people from the “monsters” (Unversed) that plagued all the worlds. A good outcome, yes, but it led to Ven’s doubts about who Terra was and what he was capable of. And that led to a falling out in their friendship. To a point where Ven was so hurt by Terra not letting him come on the journey, Ven kept going just to find new friends. A hint of jealousy.

As the series has progressed, though, we find Ventus is acting a bit more mature after he woke up in KH3. When Aqua started to feel down that Terra was still missing, Ventus held his Wayfinder to the stars and assured her that they would be able to bring him home. A role reversal that showed how much Ven has grown as a person, given that it was usually Aqua, one of the most mature characters in the series, who would support Ven in his times of need.

All in all, Ventus remains a very kind-hearted person who I’d hope is still eager to make new friends. Though he’s matured just enough to realize that the world may be a bit more complicated than the black and white views that Eraqus taught him. I.E. When he told Vanitas that he didn’t ask to be split away, that their split didn’t define them. And you can visibly see Ventus get upset when Vanitas insists that all he is capable of being is darkness.

It’s such a strong sign of maturity that Ven also calmly accepts Vanitas’ answer. He doesn’t try to fight it like Sora does. He’s aware that he can’t change what some people think, and he just needs to live with it. Giving up on an argument, especially with someone as stubborn as Vanitas has shown to be, is an insanely strong sign of maturity that not a lot of characters show with such a collected grasp on the situation. Ventus knew exactly what he was saying. And that’s amazing growth from when he tried to argue with Terra and Aqua in BBS.

I would say he’s a kind person. Still a bit childish around the edges, as he’s shown he’s capable of being. But he isn’t quite a child anymore. He knows what he’s supposed to be, what Vanitas is supposed to be, and how this development affects him as a person. He’s very mature for his age, but still very caring. And maybe just a little naive.

Roxas, on the other hand, might feel like a polar opposite.

Consider first that Roxas is just over a year old. He’s almost as close as you can get to an infant in this series, besides the literal children Sora, Riku and Kairi from BBS. He probably doesn’t have a fantastic grasp on even the most simple concepts like gender or friendship. That second one should most especially be true to Roxas.

Something I tend to see people do very wrong when writing Roxas is making him emotionally driven by nothing but sheer anger. Yes, Roxas’ most defining trait is his remarkable ability to dual-wield, something he learned through the unbridled rage of watching his best friend die in his arms. But think about why he’s angry first and you start to unveil who Roxas really is.

First and foremost, he’s a tragedy of a character. Everything about his existence is tragic and leaves the viewer with strong pity and condolences for Roxas. He even pities himself and the fate he’s forced to face by end of KH2. Why, though, is it all so tragic? How come Roxas’ story hurts more than, say, Riku’s or Aqua’s?

Part of it comes back to Roxas being born a literal blank slate. He had no grasp on reality for an entire week after he was born. No sense of purpose, what was right and wrong, self-preservation or care for other things. He needed to be taught what all of that meant, and it was only after he made the mistake of following Xemnas and joining the Organization. It’s akin to a child being adopted and immediately put to work for the efforts of the homeowners. The child knows no better than to do so. Especially for Roxas, who has literally no memories or cohesion of who he is.

Furthermore, the person who taught him what it was to be alive, to be friends with others and to experience joy, ended up betraying his trust and flat-out lying to him for most of the time that they were friends. Axel may not have enjoyed lying to Roxas, but the point being that he did. And it gave Roxas trust issues from that point onward.

Now that’s not to say that Roxas isn’t capable of liking other people. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. We know that Roxas wants to be friends with others. In a way, it mimics Ventus’ wishes to make new friends, and maybe even has some deeper meaning to it. (We do know that Ventus’ heart was with Roxas for some time, so who knows, maybe it was overflow?) We know for a fact that Roxas would’ve liked very much to be friends with some kids he saw in Twilight Town. There’s even a point in the manga where Roxas says that he was jealous of their friendship.

Now I also wouldn’t put it past Roxas to be a little cold towards people. For someone who’s gone through as much tragedy as he has, he has a right to be cold. But it’s not like it was every random stranger’s fault that he had such a shitty start to his life. Roxas has shown he’s capable of being compassionate and kind to others, even to people he doesn’t know too well. I know the Roxas we met in the data Twilight Town wasn’t exactly genuine, but the little mini-games you did during his segment? Just proof that, if Roxas didn’t have his Hell of a life at the constant front, maybe he could’ve lived a bit more calmly. Been a helpful person around town and just an overall calm and chill person.

Of course, he probably has his gripes. I think he’d be playful and teasing with his friends. Maybe give Riku a cold look for that time he stole the munny pouch. Stare at Ventus oddly for a few seconds before realizing that it wasn’t a mirror he was looking at. But he wouldn’t be 99% anger and 1% “ice cream!” Everything Roxas has gone through doesn’t lead directly to rage mode 24/7, despite how much we as a community joke about it.

Roxas is a compassionate and loving person, but because of his numerous trust issues in the past, he might hold some friends closer than others. He can be nice to anyone he wants to, but only so few people know what Roxas is really like. He has a playful side, but he’s also capable of being very aggressive, stubborn-willed, and flat rude when he wants to be. He might even have a bit of a temper problem. But that doesn’t define him. He is Roxas, nobody else.

[is0gild]

Ice Cream and Fire Oven Pizza - Chapter 15

Pairing: Elsa x Lea/Axel || Side Pairing: Riku x OC

Summary: Modern AU. She's an introvert ball of nerves who works at Ice Palace, a mall food court ice cream shop. He's the outgoing, sassy goofball who works at the Pizza Planet across the way. Hilarity, snark, and fluffy romcom hijinks ensue.

Word Count: 10,487

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

Credit for super friggin’ cute and super friggin’ amazing cover art goes to the super friggin’ talented ky-jane here on tumblr!

So... last time on The Burning Wreckage That Is My Life (please excuse the working title).

I had a crush on a guy. Well, maybe… I mean, I think I did? But I couldn't let him know that I had a crush on him. And just to make things extra complicated, I now had to act like we were dating when we really weren't. So basically… I like-liked him but had to pretend that I didn't like-like him while at the same time pretending that I did like-like him.

Confused yet? I know I was.

Also, I really needed to stop using the word like-like.

Ugh, what had I been thinking? This was a terrible plan. A disaster just waiting to happen. There was no possible way it could end well. And yet, here I sat in my apartment, watching the clock as I waited for my fake boyfriend to come pick me up. What was the matter with me? What had possessed to ever say yes to this… this insanity?

I had gotten off work not too long ago and had come straight home to prepare for my meetup with Father. This was Lea's day off, so I hadn't had to start this whole farce of a relationship around the mall today, which at least was one small comfort. My fingers as per usual were fidgeting with my freshly washed and plaited hair as I watched the seconds slowly tick by, my stomach twisting into tighter and tighter knots.

Sighing, I forced my hands to stop fussing with the braid and they complied… only to start picking at the flaps of the empty cardboard box Rayne had scrounged up for me to put things from my old place into. With a tiny scowl, I shoved my hands into my lap, demanding they be still. That lasted maybe all of two seconds before they started fiddling and twisting at the buttons that ran all the way down the front my navy corduroy overalls dress. The long sleeved shirt I wore underneath it was off the shoulder and white with blue horizontal stripes. The dress itself fell all the way down to my ankles, with a slit up to the knee on one side, giving a peek of my snowflake-patterned tights.

Yes, I was a full grown adult who still liked cutesy prints on my socks and stockings. So sue me.

Erg, where was he? As much as I was dreading seeing Father again and wished I didn't have to deal with it at all, the wait was killing me. And I couldn't put it off forever so I'd rather just get this awfulness over with already. I-

"Hello, Lea?" I heard Rayne's voice and I whipped my head around to spot her stepping out of her bedroom, smartphone pressed to one ear. She shot me a grin but then it faded as she glanced away with a squint. "Whaddya mean you're down in the parking lot? Get your ass up here and knock on the door like a goddamn gentleman, you-"

In the space of a heartbeat, I'd zoomed across the room to snatch the phone from her. "I'll be right down, see you in a sec!" I said quickly into it and, not waiting for a reply, hung up the call before Rayne could steal her phone back.

"Hey!" she huffed, fumbling to catch the device as I tossed to her. Then she gave a tiny whine, "But sweetpea, that's no way for him to treat a lady! I expected better of him!"

I rolled my eyes as I returned to the table to grab the box by one of its flaps. "I told him to just call up when he got here."

Rayne followed behind me with a tiny pout. "But I wanted to practice my whole 'What are your intentions towards my daughter' speech on him!"

"And that," I smirked, tapping her on the nose with my free hand, "is exactly why I told him to call."

Puffing out her cheeks, she crossed her arms. "You're no fun!"

"Ouch. Your words, they wound me. But somehow, someway… I think I'll live," I deadpanned, making my way over to open the front door.

"Oh! Curfew's at ten! Not one minute later, missy, not one second or you're grounded!"

I paused to turn back and droop my eyelids at her. "...too far, Rayne. Too far." Then I left, slamming the door shut behind me.

That woman, I swear. Loved her to pieces, but the sooner that baby was out of her, the better. Then she could focus all of that crazy on her new bundle of joy instead of me.

As I hurried down the steps, I went over the game plan in my head again. It'd been another sleepless night last night as I'd mentally prepared myself for Operation Boyfriend But Shh Not Really. That's right, I'd named it. Come on, it's me, how could I not? It was the only way I could feel like I had any sort of control over this whole situation. Which I one hundred percent did not. But I needed to try and trick myself into believing that I did if I had any chance of staying sane through all of this.

This being Lea and me. Pretending to be boyfriend and girlfriend. And boyfriends and girlfriends did… things. No, not that! Definitely not that, that would be going well above and beyond the call of duty! Yeesh, get your mind out of the gutter! I only meant like, ya know… holding hands, hugging… other various public displays of affection that shall remain nameless because I quite simply could not deal with even the mere thought of such things without my face bursting into flames.

But I was going to have to deal if I had any hope of getting through this. And to deal, I needed to face facts. Lea only saw me as a friend. He was only playing along to help me… as a friend. Whatever I was or wasn't feeling towards him, he did not feel the same way. Doing all those aforementioned boyfriend-girlfriend things? Wasn't going to threaten to make his heart explode like it would mine. So if I was going to survive long enough to make it out the other side of this little fiasco, my heart needed to take a chill pill.

Conceal, don't feel. That was going to be my mantra. It was one I was actually already very familiar with and had put to good practice regularly over the years. Rayne had been right. Growing up in my family, feelings had been a luxury. And as the eldest heir to the Fryse fortune, I'd had an image to maintain, the family name to uphold. I hadn't gotten to enjoy the same freedoms Anna had since she'd been born second. Not that I think I could have ever been such a… shall we say, free spirit like her. I'd always been the bundle of nerves on legs that I am. Conceal, don't feel… that'd been the only way I'd been able to maintain the calm, cool mask in front of high society and not be a walking, talking spazz of an embarrassment to my parents.

And now that little motto was what was going to get me through all this.

At least, I hoped so.

Reaching the bottom floor of my building, I stopped just short of the exit, taking a slow deep breath. Then I smoothed my dress, swept my braid forward over one shoulder and gave myself a reassuring nod.

I got this.

With my box still firmly in hand, I pushed open the door and stepped outside into the parking lot where I immediately spotted Lea. He was looking down at his phone, his thumb swiping across its screen every so often while he leaned against what was presumably his car. A (what looked to be) few decades old yet well taken care of muscle car, black and sleek and one of the types named after an animal like viper or cougar or stingray, you know, just to let you know how cool this vehicle really was. It seemed Lea had decided to color coordinate with his ride, for he was dressed in head-to-toe black himself. Beneath the leather jacket that he wore was a fitted tee that simply read Straight Fire in cracked and faded script. His skinny jeans were ripped at the knees and tucked into a pair of tall, combat boots. If possible, his crimson locks seemed even wilder than usual today and he was also sporting a pair of aviator sunglasses.

...I don't got this.

Also, I was staring.

Also, I'd dropped my box.

Jeez, Elsa, get a grip. So what if the guy was gorgeous? We already knew that. Had established it from day one. It wasn't any sort of definitive proof you'd caught feelings or anything. Anyone, anything, even a corpse, even a frigging lamppost would be susceptible to his, er… his charms.

Giving myself a quick shake, I retrieved my box from the ground and walked towards him. His head lifted at the sound of my footsteps and I could feel his gaze on me. Pocketing his phone as I came to a stop in front of him, he then hunched to my eye level, bringing his face closer to mine as he tipped down his shades, revealing his all but trademark winged eyeliner with a wink and a smirk. "What's cookin', good lookin'?"

...okay. There was a slight chance I'd caught feelings.

But psssh, that little flutter in my rib cage could have been anything. Maybe my last meal was disagreeing with me. Yeah, that had to be it.

Remember. Conceal, don't feel.

Squelching the foreign sensation in my chest, I fixed him with a blank stare. "...wow, that the best you got? You really have been out of the game for a while, haven't you?"

With a snerk, he used a foot to push himself up off the car as he straightened up and opened the passenger side door for me. "Nah, s'not that. I'm just going easy on you. Couldn't have you going all weak in the knees on me right before our big date with your dad."

"I think my knees have nothing to worry about," one corner of my lips turned up as I took a seat.

"You say that now, but trust me," he bent towards me, propping an elbow atop the door window and jerking a thumb towards his face, "if I really turned it on, you wouldn't stand a chance, sweet thang, it'd be straight to Swoon City for you!"

I quirked an eyebrow at him, "Did you really just use the terms 'sweet thang' and 'Swoon City' in the same sentence?"

"...yeah, not my proudest moment. Can we forget that ever happened?"

Biting back a grin, I nodded. "I think that'd be in both our best interests. Mostly yours."

"Smart ass," he shook his head with a chuckle, shutting my door and making his way around to the other side of the car.

Okay. Good. This was going well. He didn't suspect a thing. Elsa, Queen of Evasion. Now I only needed to keep up the act for the duration of the ride. A mere one hour road trip to the city of Arendelle. A measly sixty minutes. And really, what was sixty minutes in the grand scheme of things? Hardly a blip in time. This shouldn't be too hard, right?

...then of course there would be when we actually got there and Lea and I'd have to put on a whole other kind of act for Father. Then the hour long trip back. Then the-

Easy there, girl. Just focus on the immediate task before you. One step at a time.

I heard his door open and glanced over, watching him take a seat and buckle himself in. My lips pursed to one side. "...so Halloween come early this year?"

"Huh?" his hand froze just as he'd been about to turn the key in the ignition, head turning my way, eyebrows shooting high above his aviators. Then he looked down at himself, patting at his shirt and jacket. "You don't like it? Crap, do I look like trash?"

I blinked.

Had I really… just made Lea self-conscious? Lea? The guy who'd dragged me up to do karaoke with him? The guy who'd been dancing around like a doofus atop food court tables while lip-syncing to corny glam metal? That Lea? I wouldn't have even thought the word to exist in his vocabulary.

Oh gosh, I must have taken it too far in the other direction. It's 'Conceal, don't feel,' not 'Demean, be mean.'

Hastily, I said, "No, it's not that. I… you look… good." Like, real good… ahem, down girl. I averted my gaze, hoping my face didn't look as warm as it felt. "I just… wasn't expecting it, is all."

"Oh!" he perked up, a tiny smile pulling at his lips now. "Well, I'm supposed to be your dark, bad boy lover, right? Just wanted to make sure I played up the part. Whaddya think, do I look like your parents' worst nightmare or what?"

"That getup is going to leave an impression, that's for sure."

He started up the engine and it roared to life. "Hell yeah! This is how you pick me out of a crowd. I make myself easy to remember. No way your padre's forgetting me anytime soon."

"I doubt anyone's forgetting you anytime soon. Don't think they could even if they wanted to," I snorted, resting my elbow on the window sill and propping my head against my knuckles.

"Never really could just blend and fade into the background. Side effect of being so majestic," his tongue clicked twice and pretty sure there was a wink behind those shades. Then he nodded to the box in my lap as he reversed the car out of its space, "You can just toss that in the back with the others."

"Others?" I looked over my shoulder to the backseat to discover a few just like mine packed in there. "You brought more?"

He shrugged, exiting the lot and turning us out onto the main road. "Well yeah! Just wanted to help in whatever small way I could."

Small way? The guy was already throwing his whole friggin' life out of whack just to basically be my rent-a-boyfriend, for Pete's sake! I hadn't thought it possible for him to help me even more than he already was. And yet, he'd found a way. To be fair, I hadn't planned to take much back from my old condo, so really, the extra boxes weren't totally necessary. But still…

"Thanks, Lea," I gave him a tiny smile as I put mine with the rest of the herd, "you're very thoughtful."

His fingers ruffled his hair as he gave a sheepish laugh. "Nah, it's nothing."

Alright. Two minutes down. Only fifty-eight more to go.

Lord help me.

Remember when I was more hermity? Yeah, those were the days. I wonder whatever happened to those?

Oh, that's right. My sister and my roommate happened.

Brats.

"So…" I began, racking my brain for the next thing to talk about. Ah, small talk. Bane of my existence. "...nice ride. Please tell me you didn't get it just to complete this whole look you're going for."

"Shit, should I have not?" I just stared at him and he snerked, breaking out into a grin, "Nah, I'm just messing with ya. It was my old man's car. Only thing he left me when he kicked the bucket. Well, that and massive debt. Thankfully, the state took that second one off my hands."

That's right. Lea'd been brought up in the foster system. So this now explained why one of his parents had been out of the picture. I frowned, tucking in my bottom lip. "...I'm sorry."

"Why? Got no reason to be," he chuckled, shaking his head. "It was ages ago, I've long since made my peace with it. I'm not broken up about it, trust me."

My eyes drifted from the buildings blurring past us over to him. "What was he like?"

His head shifted slightly towards me for a second before pointing straight ahead again. "Well… he wasn't ever gonna be winning father of the year, that's for sure. Not even runner up or one of those cruddy lil participation ribbons. The guy ODed out when I was six, so take from that what you will." He paused, tapping an index finger to the steering wheel a few times. "...but he did care. Did his best to do right by me. Saïx too, even though he wasn't his kid. The man wasn't a bad guy… he just didn't have his shit together and never really was meant to be a father."

The downward tug at my lips deepened as I lowered my gaze to my hands, folded neatly in my lap. "...can I ask, ah… your mother..."

"Where she fits into all this?" he ventured and I gave a slow nod. "Oh, she makes Pops look like he was a goddamn saint. She's a leech. Just hopping from one sugar daddy to the next, popping out kids she never wanted. Same day we buried our old man, she took Saïx and me out for ice cream after. Handed us some munny and told us to go order and pay while she snagged us a table to sit at. When we turned around a few minutes later, she'd split. Haven't seen her since."

My heart squeezed as I regarded him with wide eyes. "Wow, that… that's just awful. You have no idea where she is at all?"

"Didn't say that now. We actually did some digging into it a few years ago. Turns out she's just a couple states over, shacked up with some new sucker. An orthodontist or something. They're living up the suburbia life with the white picket fence, two-point-five kids, the whole shebang. Guess Saïx and I were just her practice run rejects before she went off and started her real family." He shrugged, "Though maybe she'll eventually skip out on this one too, who knows?"

I tipped my head to one side. "How do you know all that if you haven't seen her?"

"I haven't. Saïx has." He stopped at a red light, flicking on his turn signal. Then his hand was rubbing at the nape of his neck. "...she did try to reach out to me once. Last year. Left a voicemail saying something about wanting to reconnect or some bullshit. I deleted it. Couldn't of been all that serious 'bout it, seeing as how she hasn't tried again since. Probably just a halfhearted attempt to ease her pathetic excuse for a conscience before washing her hands of it and calling it a day."

My eyebrows met in a peak before I looked away again, fingers absently toying with my braid. He was talking so calmly about it all, so casually. As if he were discussing nothing more interesting than the weather. It made it harder for me to figure out an appropriate response in a situation that I was already so completely socially ill-equipped to deal with in the first place. Should I be just as laid back about it as he was? No, that felt insensitive. Should I express pity? Absolutely not, he'd probably hate that…

Seriously, what do?

How do you people?

"Alright," his voice broke through my thoughts, "you're up for sharing time." The light changed green and he pressed down on the gas pedal, turning us onto the highway entrance. "Why'd you do it? Go all Runaway Bride on your big day?"

I was relieved that he (whether knowingly or not) had saved me from having to come up with something to say to his tragic backstory. Even if this did mean I had to now talk about myself, which usually would have been just as anxiety-inducing of an experience. But somehow, right here, right now, talking to Lea... the idea didn't seem as uncomfortable as I normally would've expected it to be.

Twisting the tip of my braid around one finger, I mulled over it for a few silent seconds. Finally, I said, "It… he and I… we just weren't… right. I thought we were. He thought we were. My parents and his parents certainly thought we were. And I didn't want to disappoint them, so I just kept telling myself that everything was as it should be. That he and I made sense. But we didn't. Not really, not… in my heart. We just…"

"You didn't love him," he said simply, and I winced. As if I'd done something wrong. Then I nodded. "And it took you getting within a stone's throw of saying 'I do' to realize that?"

"Well," I frowned up at the ceiling, "...I'd always heard that love takes time. So I think a part of me was just waiting for it to happen. Waiting for… I don't know… that moment where it'd just hit me, that moment of just… 'oh wow! So that's what this is supposed to feel like' or something. I thought maybe… maybe our first kiss. Or maybe by our first anniversary. Or maybe when he proposed to me. Or maybe when I was trying on gowns or looking at venues with him. But then, suddenly, it was our wedding day and it struck me that still… nothing. And if it I wasn't feeling it after being together for five years, that I probably was never going to. That's when the panic set in and… well…"

"Let me guess. That's when the legendary Phonebook Heist occurred," one corner of his lips twitched up.

I breathed a soft laugh. "Yeah. Had to ditch the big poofy dress. And I used the phonebook to track Rayne down, since she wasn't listed under her full name in it."

A snort escaped him. "Ever thought of this crazy lil thing all the kids are doing nowadays called writing things down on a post-it? I know, wild right? It's new, maybe ya haven't heard of it."

"I was a bit stressed and not exactly thinking clearly in that moment," I bit back a grin, giving his arm a gentle shove.

"Gee, I wonder why," he said wryly as he shifted lanes. "Still curious as to why you felt like you had to run away. Couldn't you have just called the wedding off?"

"You make it sound so easy," my lips twisted sourly. "If it were, do you think I would have let Rayne rope us into going along with this crazy plan of Anna's and hers? You don't know my parents. They… have a way of getting what they want. No one says no to them. In their world, things are done a certain way. Always have been, always will be, end of discussion."

"Their world?" one of his eyebrows arched. Then something clicked. "That's right, you're loaded."

I shook my head, "My parents are, not me. Not anymore, anyway. Not unless you think I'm scooping mall ice cream at minimum wage just for kicks."

"What, you don't have a trust fund or something?"

"No, I do. Or rather… I did. I'm not sure anymore, really, not after everything I've done. Mother and Father control it and can make sure I never see a cent of it now. Not that I think I even want it anymore," I sighed, eyes downcast as I rubbed my elbow. "I really… have no idea what to expect at this point. How this whole meeting with Father will go. What he'll say or do or… I'm just… terrified."

I felt an unexpected warmth on my shoulder and I glanced over to find Lea's hand resting there. He gave it a small squeeze and smiled, "It'll be okay, El. Everything'll work out, you'll see. You'll get through this. And I'll be there to help any way I can, capisce? Now buck up," he lightly nicked my chin with his knuckle before gripping the steering wheel again. "Gonna need you to bring your A-game here if we're gonna fool your old man. Do a real good job and there's an ice cream with your name on it when we get back to Twilight Town."

One side of my mouth tugged up. "Don't you still owe me ice cream for helping you study?"

"And I still plan to make good on that once I've finally nailed down your fave. Speaking of," he paused with a low hum. "...Aloha Ohana?" My lips parted but he was already shaking his head, "Nope, too chunky. You like your desserts like you like your men," he waggled his eyebrows, "smooth."

My grin twitched wider. "Oh, really? And how would you know?"

"Isn't it obvious? Cuz I'm yo man," he jabbed a thumb into his chest.

"...and you think you're smooth?"

"As silk, baby!"

I hid my growing smile behind my fingers. "You're a dork is what you are… but a sweet dork."

He chuckled. "Maybe. But don't tell anyone. I got my bad boy reputation to maintain."

"Your secret is safe with me."

Somehow I was now getting the feeling that this little road trip of ours?

Maybe wasn't going to be as bad as I'd originally thought.

"Whatcha think? Too much?"

I glanced over at Lea. Sunglasses now perched atop his head, he returned my gaze, looking away from using his rear view mirror to help him up his guyliner game. The makeup pencil in his hand lifted from his cheek where he'd been applying what looked to be an upside down teardrop mark just beneath his right eye.

I snerked and wrinkled my nose slightly.

Lea huffed out a tiny laugh. "Say no more," he reached over, pulling some tissue from the glove compartment and wiping off his cheek.

We'd arrived just a moment ago and had parked on Fjord Boulevard, right in front of my old condominium building. I'd been using that minute to gather myself and work up the nerve to actually get out of the car. If it hadn't already been made abundantly clear, Lea had been using that same minute just as wisely himself.

Inhaling and exhaling slowly one last time, I finally unbuckled my seatbelt, opened my door and stepped onto the sidewalk.

The building before me was tall, imposing, and screamed munny and decadence. I'd never really noticed the sheer air of grandeur about it before, but now it all but smacked me in the face. Gosh, had it really only been about a month since I'd last been here? It felt like eons ago. A whole other lifetime. That girl who'd lived here once upon a time… she hadn't been me. Not really. It almost felt wrong coming back here now. Like I was an imposter. Some sort of usurper. It made my insides shrivel up and it took everything I had not to just jump back into the car and speed away without so much as a backwards glance.

Spotting movement out of the corner of my eye, I turned my head to find Lea standing next to me now, a couple of the smaller cardboard boxes wedged between his arm and side. My hands went to take one from him but he pivoted back a step, shifting them out of my reach as he wagged a finger in my face, "Ah ah! Don't worry about it, I got 'em. Makes me feel all buff and manly." He flexed his free arm.

I gave him a dull look. "...they're empty."

"Shush, let me have this."

My eyelids drooped. "Fine. You're the manliest man to ever man."

"Thank you." Then he gave a tiny mock bow, sweeping one hand out wide towards the building before us, "Lady's first."

Shaking my head, I walked towards the doorman standing in wait beneath the long awning leading to the entrance.

That's right. Doorman. As if this place weren't fancy enough already.

"Welcome back, Miss Fryse," he greeted, pulling the door open for me. "Or, if I may be so bold, Mrs W-"

"No!" I blurted out quickly, eyes wide, palms blurring up in a stop gesture.

Oh gosh, he had no idea I'd ran out on the wedding.

...well of course he didn't! Why would he?

...awkwaaaaard.

"Th-thank you, Cliff," I shakily lowered my hands to clasp in front of me, averting my gaze. "Ah… Fryse, please… if you would."

The man seemed unperturbed. In fact, his face brightened, "Oh, how modern! My missus will be thrilled to hear it. I trust you had a lovely honeymoon?"

And the awkward just kept on coming.

"It… er… " I cleared my throat. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but I'm actually in a small bit of a hurry. I have plans to meet with Father here shortly."

"Ah yes, so he said as well," he nodded before looking past me with a delicate frown. "And would this be the, uh… guest he mentioned would be accompanying you?"

I followed his gaze, glancing over my shoulder to where Lea stood behind me, hooligan incarnate. He clicked his tongue, shooting a finger gun at the doorman. I said, "Yes, I suppose he would b-" the words caught in my throat and I quickly looked back at Cliff. "Wait, so he said?" I echoed. "...is my father here already?"

"Why yes, ma'am, I let him in but a few moments ago."

My heart plummeted into my stomach.

I hadn't expected him to be here before us. I'd thought we would still have a little more time.

But he was here now.

This was happening now.

Like... now now.

And I was so very…

...very…

...NOT ready!

Somehow, I kept it together enough to manage a thanks to Cliff before stepping inside, feeling my knees start to go numb. And somehow, I kept it together while crossing the gilded, marble foyer to the elevators, ignoring the clamminess of my palms. I even somehow kept it together long enough to exchange pleasantries with the lobby attendant there who called the lift down for us before Lea and I stepped onto it and I, with only a slight tremor to my limbs, pushed the button for the top floor.

But the nanosecond those mechanized, mirrored doors slid shut…

"I can't!" My hands shot up, fingers digging into my scalp as I started hyperventilating and pacing, feeling the elevator begin to rise. "I can't go through with this! I can't, I just can't do it! This is crazy, this, this is nuts! How the heck did I ever let them talk me into this?! How?! There's just… just no way! It's not possible, I can't! I can't, I can't, I-"

Lea was suddenly in front of me, gently grabbing my arms and bringing me to an abrupt stop. "Woah now, slow down, El, breathe," he bent down to look me in the eye with concern. "It'll be okay. Trust me on this, you can do this. We can. You just gotta take it one step at a time and breathe, okay? Can you do that for me?"

"But how?! How will it be okay? I have to lie to him! I can't lie, I don't know how! I have no chill! You hear me? None! Zip! Absolutely zero chill! I couldn't even lie to Anna about the Easter Bunny when she was only four years old! Four, Lea. Four!"

"Okay, alright, then just don't think about it as lying. Think about it as…" his lips pursed to the left as his eyes shifted about. Then his face lit up, "...as one of those musicals you like so much!"

"Ah! We should break out into song and dance!" I said excitedly if somewhat desperately.

This is my brain. This is my brain on panic attack.

"...let's call that plan B. But no, I meant more like we're… between numbers right now and that we're acting. You like acting, right? Told me you used to do it all the time at camp, remember?"

"Acting…" I repeated slowly, turning the word over in my mind as some of the tension started to ease from my body.

Yes, acting. Acting technically, technically wasn't lying. Acting I could do.

...maybe.

I frowned at him. "I need a script."

"A script," he blinked. Then he straightened up, tapping a knuckle to his chin. "What about instead… guidelines?"

"Guidelines?" I echoed flatly.

"Yeah, for… ya know…" he pointed back and forth between him and me, "...this. Us. When we're in front of your folks and around the mall. Stuff like, uh..." he cleared his throat, scratching the back of his head, "...PDAs? Do's and don'ts. What's okay and what isn't. Boundaries and whatnot."

...oh.

Oh fudge.

"...you're kidding me… this is only coming up now?!" Recommencing pacing forthwith, now with added braid yanking action. "What's wrong with me, what was I thinking?! We had that whole friggin' car ride here, no, the whole last twenty-four hours and somehow we didn't discuss this already?! Not even once?!"

"El, El, it's okay, we can figure all that stuff out now."

His hand tried to close around my arm again, but I jerked it free. "How? There's no time! Any second, the elevator with chime and those doors will part and we'll have to face him and I'll crack and he'll know and, and, and that's it! Done! Finito! Curtains! It'll all be over before it's even begun and-"

This time he did manage to grab hold of my arm, pulling me to him and wrapping his arms around me in a tight hug. "Shh," he murmured, lightly stroking my hair and resting his chin on my head. He felt so warm as I took shallow, rapid breaths against his chest, inhaling that cinnamon scent of his combined with the oddly soothing smell of leather from his jacket that I was tightly gripping onto. My eyes slowly fluttered shut, my muscles starting to relax again, my panicked heart rate beginning to calm.

This was actually somewhat… kind of nice...

And then it happened.

The elevator chimed. Those doors parted. My eyes snapped open to discover standing there waiting for us on the other side was-

"F-Father!" I gasped, shoving Lea away. "Hi! I mean," I stood up straighter, stepped out onto the new floor, folded one hand over the other just below my waist, and ducked my head slightly, "H-Hello."

...wait.

Did I just…?

Instant mental replay.

-shoving Lea away-

Crud.

Not five seconds in and I was already acting in a most ungirlfriendlike fashion towards my alleged boyfriend.

What'd I tell you? Zero chill. Zilch.

"Elsa," I heard my father say, drawing my attention back to him. He was a tall man with hair the same auburn as Anna's. He looked stiff and rigid in the expensive dark blue suit he was wearing, lips set into a stoic line beneath his thin mustache and green eyes stern as he regarded me. The air felt heavy around us, the long stretch of silence deafening. I was convinced there was no possible way he couldn't hear the jackhammering of my heart against my ribcage while I tried to maintain a cool exterior under his scrutiny. Then finally after what felt like an eternity, he said evenly, "You look well."

I bit down on my lip as I lowered my gaze once more, eyes darting about. "...as do you."

Insert uncomfortably drawn-out pause. Then, "And I presume this would be…?"

He was looking at Lea, standing beside me now with boxes once more lazily propped on his jutted hip. My heart jolted and I started wringing my hands. "Ah… yes… this… this is…"

Just spit it out already!

"...this is boy. He is friend."

I word good.

Alright, take two.

Suppressing my wince, I tried again, "Er, that is to say, this is…" I clenched and unclenched my hands at my sides. "...this is my… my-"

"Lea," he rescued me, introducing himself and offering his hand.

My father just stared at it, expression unreadable, and there was a second - one very long second - where I thought he might not take it. But at last he did, if a touch gingerly, and gave it a curt shake. "A... pleasure, I'm sure."

"Likewise, Pops." He grinned now, "It's fine to call you Pops, right? Might as well get all friendly cuz we're gonna be seeing a lot of each other, no doubt."

Father didn't so much as yank his hand back as retrieve it as quickly as was politely and socially acceptable, his lips tight. "...Mr Fryse will suffice."

Lea just shrugged and grinned wider, taking his own hand back.

And slid it into mine, interlacing our fingers together.

Heart.

Flatlined.

Okay, sure, this really shouldn't have been all that big of a deal. After all, Lea had held my hand before. But that had just been when he'd needed to drag me somewhere. It'd been incidental. This? This was hand holding with purpose. This hand holding was a declaration. This hand holding was up on the metaphorical soapbox with a megaphone and would not be ignored. This hand holding was making a goddamn statement.

This hand holding was causing me to burn bright red.

Conceal, don't feel, conceal, don't feel, conceal, don't feel!

Luckily, Father's narrowed gaze was too focused on said hand holding to notice my face trying to give the plush, deep crimson carpet beneath our feet a run for its munny. After another excruciatingly long second (of which I was beginning to suspect this little visit would be in no short supply of), he whipped around and strode off down the hallway, back ramrod straight and voice taut as he said, "Let's step into your condo now."

"Let's," Lea chirped, following after him.

Still holding my hand.

I stumbled into awkward step beside him, glancing out of the corner of my eye down at where my tingling fingers were intertwined with his. This was no longer necessary… right? I mean, Father wasn't looking at us anymore. So I should just let go, shouldn't I? Yes… yes, I absolutely should. Okay, here we go… letting go now… in three… two… one...

...I wasn't letting go.

I shot my hand a tiny scowl. Fine, you win. Five more seconds, bucko, but that's it.

It remained stubbornly fastened to his. Fifteen seconds.

I rolled my eyes. Ten seconds, but that's as high as I'm willing to go.

...was I seriously haggling with my hand just now?

I'm in desperate need of having my head examined.

It wasn't long before we came to a stop where the hall turned at a corner, Father using a key already in hand to open the door located there. My door. Or rather… what was now formerly my door, I suppose. He walked in first with Lea not too far behind him and me in tow, my hand still in his.

To say the condo we'd stepped into was spacious would be an understatement. The living room alone probably could have fit Rayne's and Riku's apartment in it twice over. It was a corner unit with massive floor-to-ceiling windows leading out onto an expansive balcony overlooking the city and the distant white-capped mountains that surrounded it. With its crystal tables, art deco furniture, and extravagant paintings hanging on the walls, the sitting room was quite picturesque. So pretty, so pristine, so... sterile. Like one of those staged pictures that would be on a website trying to catch the eye of potential buyers. My mother had done the decorating, not I, which was probably why it looked so unlived in. This was more space than I had ever really needed anyway. I'd rarely left my own bedroom when I'd called this place home.

A low whistle blew from Lea's lips as his eyes drifted around the room. "Wow, you really were a princess up in a tower, huh?" He slipped his hand out of mine and I had to ignore how cold and lonely my fingers now felt. Stupid, clingy fingers. "Why don't you two take a minute to catch up while I," he held up the boxes, giving them a tiny shake, "go get started in your room. Which door is it? Bah, nevermind, I'll figure it out."

I blinked. Wait, my room? I didn't know if I was all that comfortable with the idea of someone being in there without me and going through my stuff.

I turned to look at him, opening my mouth to voice my objection. Before I could utter a sound however, his hand cradled the back of my neck, drawing me closer to him and planting a tender kiss to my forehead, sending waves of icy heat rippling all the way down to my toes.

I-

Wha-

Conc-

Don-

Fe-

Con- Co- C-C-Congeal, tone eel!

...wait, what?

Please stand by, Elsa is currently experiencing some minor technical difficulties.

He pulled back, smiling down at me and murmuring, "Have fun, babe." Yup. Those were words alright. Did I understand them? Nope! In fact, I wasn't comprehending much of anything in that second. "Pops," Lea shot my father a two-fingered salute before wandering off down an archway on the far side of the room leading to the rest of the condo.

Father lifted his nose with a sniff, lips pinching almost imperceptibly. "Your… friend is quite the... character."

"Ah… yes. He is," I heard myself replying, surprised that I was able to string more than two words together, bonus points for being in the correct order to boot. Wouldn't have thought it possible, what with my brains having been melted to mush inside the blazing sauna that was currently my face. There was no way Father could miss it this time. Hopefully he just thought I was embarrassed over the impropriety of Lea's forwardness. Not wanting to give him a chance to read too much into it, I hastily asked, "How is Mother?"

"As well as can be expected," he said flatly, folding his arms behind him and shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "...better… since we've had news of you."

I winced, looking down at my feet.

And there it was again. That stifling silence.

There were so many things unsaid hanging in the air between us. A big whopping elephant wearing a friggin' diamond-studded wedding gown in the room that neither one of us wanted to be the first one to bring up, it seemed. At least, I know I certainly didn't. I knew I couldn't avoid the unpleasant topic forever, but at the same time there was a silly little part of me that was hoping if I put it off long enough, that... I don't know... the statute of limitations for discussing it would expire or something.

If only.

Well, someone had to be the one to start. Might as well get this over with. Screwing my eyes shut, I took a deep breath and-

"Snowbunny? Could you come in here for a sec please?" Lea's voice rang out from down the hall.

Great. And just when my face had finally managed to cool down too. At the rate this was going, I was beginning to suspect my cheeks might get stuck in this lovely shade of tomato rouge.

Plastering on a smile, I told Father, "I'll be right back."

"Of course," he gave a simple nod. However, the tiny scowl he was directing towards where Lea's words had come from was not lost on me.

I primly and with as much dignity as I could muster walked over to the archway. As soon as I was out of his line of sight however, I broke into a sprint down the hall, skidding to a stop in the doorway to my bedroom and scrunching up my face. "Snowbunny?" I spat out like it left a bad taste in my mouth.

He looked up from where he was neatly folding one of my dresses into a box atop my bed, flashing me a grin. "Was trying out a pet name to use around the folks. Thoughts?"

"I think there's a razor thin line between you trying to not look or sound like a pushover in front of them and you just straight up pissing them off."

"Huh," he tipped his head to one side. "...keep workingshopping it then?"

I rolled my eyes with a soft snort, moving further into the room to stand in front of him, "Yes, I'd say so."

"Noted." He closed the flaps to the box shut before crossing his arms and shifting over to lean back against my vanity, frowning at me. "Hey, we're okay right?" At my quirked eyebrow, he elaborated, "Ya know, with the this," he raised one of his hands with a waggle, then pointed at my own hand, "holding that, and these," now he gestured to his lips before gently poking my brow, "planting one right there."

"Oh." I resisted the urge to reach up to where my forehead still felt warm and had the ghost of a tickle from the brush of his lips earlier. Doing my best to suppress the umpteenth blush of the day, I looked away, "No, no, that was nice… er, I mean fine. Acceptable."

Elsa, Queen of Keeping Her Cool.

He grinned in relief. "Good. Was just winging it since we didn't really get a chance to discuss anything, but wouldn't have wanted to do something that made you uncomfortable."

"Nope! Totally a-okay here." I gave him a thumbs up. Then immediately felt lame for giving him a thumbs up and instead put my hands to better use running them down my braid. "So… I'm assuming there's an actual reason you called me in here."

"Right!" He flicked a hand at the two cardboard crates sitting side by side atop my mattress. "We're gonna need more boxes from the car."

I furrowed my brow, approaching them. "But I thought I'd only need one. How'd you fill them both up already?"

Lea shrugged, one side of his mouth turning up. "Just grabbed stuff out of your closet. Anything that'd look cute on you."

I pulled the flaps back on one to peek inside, my eyes widening before hastily opening the other one as well and puffing out a sigh, "You've packed everything that was hanging in there."

"Well, yeah! Cuz everything looks cute on you, El!"

It should be illegal for him to say things like that.

My broiling cheeks seconded that notion.

Slapping the boxes shut again, I huffed, "Fine, we'll run back down to grab more after my father leaves. But you! You're no longer involved in the decision making of what I do or don't bring back, got it? I don't have room for all this junk at my new place," I jabbed a warning finger in his direction, to which he just held up his hands in surrender, smirking and giving me another tiny shrug.

That was the face of zero remorse.

And I couldn't even really get mad about it since he'd only been being his big dumb sweet self again.

Ugh, I didn't even really want all these things. All these clothes that'd been bought and paid for with my parents' munny. This was my new life, my own life free from their control and I wanted to manage it with absolutely zero help from them, nothing, not even so much as a stitch of clothing. The only real reason I'd even come here today was to see Father and set Operation Boyfriend But Shh Not Really in motion. I'd probably just end up giving most if not all of these dresses to charity anyway.

Shaking my head, I glanced about the room. "Now where…? Ah!" I'd spotted what I was looking for - my phone resting on the vanity next to Lea's hand. Probably left there by Anna weeks ago, since she'd been the one holding onto it for me on The Wedding Day That Never Was.

Lea sidestepped out of my way as I moved to pick it up. He gave me a curious look, "The parental units still gonna be paying for your data plan?"

"Doubt it. I wouldn't accept it, even if they offered. Rayne said she can put me on her and Riku's family plan until I've gotten a few more checks from work and can start paying for my own. It'll be nice not having to borrow hers all the time anymore."

...okay, I know I'd just had that little mental spiel about not wanting to accept anything from my parents. But come on now, in this day and age, phones are all but a necessity, not to mention expensive. Besides, it's not like I was just going to take it. I planned to reimburse my parents for it… discuss and figure out some sort of payment plan with them that would work with my budget.

"Well in that case," he pulled a black Sharpie from the pen holder on my vanity, biting down on the cap and pulling it off before taking one of my hands in his and turning my palm up so he could write a phone number on it, punctuated with a tiny heart.

I stared blankly at my hand. "Um…?"

He winked at me. "My digits."

Now I stared at him blankly. "I figured, but why?"

"What, you don't think you should have yo man's number on speed dial in your phone?"

"No, that I get, but why," I shoved my palm into his face, "on my hand?"

A tiny snerk through his nose. "How else were you gonna get it? By psychically plucking it outta the air from my mind?"

"No, by having Rayne enter it into my phone after recharging it when I got home," I said flatly.

He blinked, eyes darting to the left. "...alright, point there." Then he chuckled, scratching a spot behind his ear. "I've just always wanted to write my number on a girl's hand. Seemed like a real slick move."

I drooped my eyelids at him. "Was it everything you dreamed it would be, stud?"

"And more!" he beamed.

"You're weird."

"Careful now or all that sweet talk of yours will go straight to my head."

Fighting a begrudging grin, I snatched up the charger from where it lay on the vanity as well and stepped back over to the boxes, slipping it and the mobile in with the folded clothes. Then both my eyebrows shot up my forehead and I glanced back at him. "Wait, you've never written your number on a girl's hand before?"

He blinked back at me, "...no?"

"But Rayne told me what a ladykiller you used to be, and that right there seems like Ladykillers 101."

"Gah, Raindrop," he grumbled under his breath, facepalming. "...those were… you don't really need to exchange numbers when you're just… looking to hookup for a night."

"...oh." I looked away, seriously regretting pulling at this thread.

His hand went to the nape of his neck, tugging at the hairs there. "...I've changed a lot in the last year."

"It sounds like it," I smiled gently at him. Then I exhaled heavily, "Okay… guess I better get back out there then."

"Wait," his hand closed around my wrist as I turned to go, stopping me in my tracks. I gave him a questioning look and he released me, squinting at me and tapping a knuckle to his lips in thought. Then he snapped his fingers and was shrugging out of his leather jacket, holding it out towards me. "Put this on."

My head rocked back slightly, gaze shifting back and forth between him and it a few times. "...but I'm not cold. And we're inside. Why would I go back out to Father wearing your jacket?"

"That's the point," his eyes crinkled as he moved closer to me, slipping my arms into it and tugging it on, flipping the collar up. "Make him wonder. It'll drive him batshit. Now scoot," his fingertip booped my nose before he spun me around and gave me a light shove out of my room. I staggered out into the hall, glancing back at Lea as he leaned a shoulder against my door frame. "Go get 'im, tiger."

I shot him a hard stare. "Also not an acceptable pet name in front of my parents."

"Duly noted." His arms folded beneath his chest as he tossed his head towards the living room, "Now go on already, get."

Pressing my lips together into a thin line, I looked straight ahead down the hall, squared my shoulders and started a slow march forward.

Why was I doing all of this again? Oh, right. To get my parents to leave me alone and stop trying to interfere with my life. And wearing Lea's jacket was going to help with that. Somehow. Was still kind of fuzzy on the how. The jacket itself smelled strongly of boy - really nice smelling, cinnamon-spiced boy. It was actually kind of comforting and was easing my nerves somewhat. So in a way, I guess that was helping. I glanced down at the sleeves as I walked. They were too long, stretching past my hands and hiding the number written in fresh ink on my palm. I suppose that helped a bit too. It would have been awkward explaining it to Father if he had seen it. So in that regard, the jacket was also practical.

So there you have it.

A helpful, comforting, and practical jacket.

...ugh, what was I even doing anymore? Really? Could somebody tell me please? At this point, I was just grasping at straws here.

I stepped back out into the living room to find Father with his back to me as he faced the large windows, staring out onto the balcony and beyond. I gave a polite little cough into my hand to catch his attention, saying, "Sorry to keep you waiting."

"Not at all, I-" he cut himself off as he turned, spotting me. Or, more precisely, me in the jacket. He then proceeded to give the thing the darkest look I'd ever seen him give any poor, unsuspecting garment.

Welp. Mission accomplished there I guess.

Whatever the mission had been exactly.

I gnawed on my bottom lip, absently fiddling with the zipper dangling from the left leather sleeve. Then I broke the long stretch of silence with a delicate clearing of my throat. "S-so… about the, uh… about the wedd-"

His hand shot up, stopping my words dead. His face had regained its aloof, impassive mask once more. "Regrettably, we don't have time to properly discuss that matter this visit. I have business elsewhere that I must attend to shortly. I merely came to allow you access to your old condo."

"Oh," I breathed, frowning and quickly looking down at my feet.

"...and to see for myself how you were doing," he added, his voice softening somewhat. Maybe I'd only imagined it however. "Your mother… she's expressed wishes to see you as well."

My gaze lifted once more as I sucked in a tiny breath, feeling hope prickle inside my chest. "Ah… yes, of… of course! I could come visit in a few days or-"

"We're actually having a small family get-together in roughly two weeks' time. A bit of a weekend affair, if you will. I think it would be for the best if you came by then. We could set aside time to discuss your actions between the festivities. Of course, your… your friend," he tried, really did try, to restrain the curl of distaste to his lips here, but wasn't quite fully successful, "is extended the invitation as well."

"You're too kind, Pops!" Lea's chipper voice sounded from behind me even as I'd been opening my mouth to respond. Before I could turn to look at him, I felt his grip on my arm tugging me and I stumbled backwards into his chest where he proceeded to hug my shoulders from behind and nuzzle his cheek against mine. "We wouldn't miss it for the world!"

How I had yet to suffer a heart attack during this entire little excursion was beyond me.

Once again, the words 'Conceal, don't feel,' chanted like a desperate prayer through my mind as I grasped his arm, hiding my flushed face in the crook of his elbow. Those three little words were starting to blur together into gibberish and lose all meaning, I'd recited them so much at this point.

Father fixed us with a long, unblinking stare and he'd gone so still, I could have sworn he'd turned to solid stone for a second there. But at last, he managed a, "Wonderful." I seriously doubt he meant that. "We look forward to seeing you both there." That either. "Well then... I'll just leave this here," he deposited the key onto the dining table, "should you decide you need to come back at a later date for more of your belongings. If and when we decide to sell the unit, we'll be sure to let you know. I'll be in touch shortly with further details of the upcoming gathering, otherwise I'm sure your sister will be only too happy to pass along the information as well."

"Thank you… Father," I muffled into Lea's arm.

He bowed his head slightly. "Right then, well… I must be off."

"T'was lovely to make your acquaintance," I could all but hear the smirk in Lea's voice as Father turned to go.

He froze, posture reaching new magnitudes of stiffness previously thought impossible. "...likewise," was all he said after a beat, not even looking back before striding out the front door, clicking it shut behind him.

And just like that, he was gone.

"I think that went rather well," Lea said brightly, not yet removing his arms.

I sighed, unconsciously relaxing a bit back into his chest. "I guess. Though I was kind of hoping we'd be able to air everything out today so it'd be all over and done with... I suppose I should be glad he didn't just disown me on the spot, for whatever that's worth. This thing he's invited us to though… it makes me uneasy."

His hair tickled as he turned his head to look at me. "What makes you say that?"

A small frown marred my face. "I don't know… it's probably nothing, just me being paranoid. I guess… all we can do is go, continue to put on this little performance and see what happens." My eyelids drooped, "Speaking of which, we really need to get on setting those ground rules for PDAs."

He swiftly released me now, taking a step back and holding his arms up like a criminal caught red-handed, "Sorry, did I cross a line with that one?"

I turned to face him but didn't quite meet his gaze. I knew that if I did in this precise second, I might be setting a new world record for number of blushes per minute, or BPM if you will. Feeling I'd done enough of that for one day, I looked everywhere but directly into his eyes, fingers plucking at my braid. "Not… exactly. I just… need to be forewarned on these things… know what I'm getting into, so they don't, ah… catch me off guard in the future."

"Oh, so that's why you were such an awkward walnut the whole time," he laughed, moving over to one of the couches and flopping down unceremoniously onto it, kicking his boots up on the immaculate, glossy finish of the coffee table. "Thought that was a little weird. You acted like a guy's never given you snuggles and affection before."

My lips twisted to one side and I said nothing.

His eyes widened and he sat up straighter. "You gotta be pulling my leg here. You were dating the guy, your fiancé, for what... five years was it? What were you two even doing that whole time?"

Grimacing, I made my way over to sit on the opposite end of the sofa from him. "The thing is, my ex… he was never really a fan of romantic gestures, big or small. Especially not in front of other people."

"Seriously?" he looked positively offended at the very idea. "He had to at least hug you in public, right?" I hesitantly shook my head. "Brush your hair back behind your ear?" A pause, then a second small shake. "Shit, for the love of- hold your hand?" Annnnd a third. "Please, please tell me he at least kissed you."

So much for not making it into the Guinness book for the most BPM. With a tiny scowl, I said, "Well, of course he did. Though… mostly only behind closed doors. But he'd take me on dates to fancy restaurants, art galas, the opera... oh, and he'd occasionally tuck my hand into the crook of his elbow when we were out." It almost sounded like I was trying to defend him now. "And he'd… uh…" Huh. Guess that about covered it. "...well, he just thought such things to be garish, empty gestures that were unnecessary," I finished lamely.

Lea gaped at me. "...and you were gonna marry this guy? Dude sounds like a fucking idiot."

I looked at him sharply. "Excuse me?"

"Sorry, it's just…" he frowned now, leaning forward in his seat and planting his elbows on his knees, rubbing his arm. "El, you deserve better than that. Someone who'll worship the ground you walk on. Ya know… rose petals, white doves, the whole cornball, cheesy works."

"Oh." Would you look at that? Not two seconds and I'd already shattered the new BPM record I'd just set. I was really going to need to get this whole face heating situation under control, this quite simply would not fly anymore. "...th-thank you?"

He cleared his throat and propped his cheek in his palm, looking at me sideways. "No wonder you were weird about all that stuff I did. You've never really been all that touchy-feely with a guy before, huh?" He grinned, "Good news is we got two weeks to practice."

I cocked my head slightly. "Practice?"

"Yup!" He scooched over closer to me, nudging my shoulder with his. "We threw ya into the deep end before you were ready. Now we gotta rewind and actually teach you how to swim. And you know a good place to start? Learning by example."

"Which means…?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Observing some of the local wildlife perform their ritualistic mating displays in their natural habitat. That's right, you guessed it: couple-watching in the food court!"

Author's Note: Our couple is off to a rocky start! But it's to be expected with what an awkward penguin Elsa is. She was not built for this! But she'll get there… maybe xD They got 2 weeks to figure it out anyway… 2 whole weeks of fluff, mwahaha! Yeah, we're gonna take a lil detour off the Plot Highway here to make a stop in the good ol' town of Fluffsville for the next several chapters xD Also, Elsa's dress this chapter is loosely based on her Let It Go ice dress - the silhouette of it is at least (I think I used that fashion term correctly…). Lea's outfit is based on nothing, I just wanted to make him... smokin' hawt ;D ALSO, Elsa's dad isn't as nice a guy in this as he seems to be in the Frozen movies, but you all probably figured that was coming with the way he's been talked about the whole story thus far. To be fair, Elsa's parents in the movie could be considered a bit controlly with how they made Elsa suppress her powers, so just consider how he is in this story a twist on that from the movies xD Yet another also: Cliff (the doorman) is apparently the name of one of the rock trolls in the movie, so I figured, SURE, why not, let's name the doorman that! And one more also (last one, I swear!) - I'd run out of KH:BBS official ice cream flavors by this chapter. The one named in this chapter (based on Lilo and Stitch if it weren't obvious) was one my friend (who I'm borrowing Rayne from) came up with! I imagine it's description up on the Ice Palace menu would read something like "It's got all the punch of Hawaii's tangy fruit flavors and a little bit of Elvis for kicks! Naturally it's blue as the sea with bits of Hawaiian fruit in the center!" In any case, by the next time I needed to come up with an ice cream flavor name later on in this story, I'd figured out a new source list to pull from, as you'll all discover very soon!

Next chapter, will our leading man and lady get the hang of this whole relationship dealio? What couple(s) did Lea have in mind for them to watch? Will it actually help? Or will it only muddle matters further? Just what IS the world record for most blushes per minute and is Elsa really in the running for that highly coveted title? Stay tuned!

Thanks for reading, I super duper appreciate it! And an extra BIG thank you to those of you who’ve liked, reblogged, and followed so far, seeing those lil notifications always brings the biggest, goofiest smile to my face!

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[kcystotheheart]

{🍎} I don’t feel like i got all of them but MASSIVE TAG DROP/DUMP

♡ Home is where the Heart is... {IC}

✧ I foresee the end of all I know... {Ava}

#☪︎I'm howling with the wolves {Fida}

#✦ Breaking Traditions {Sub Alt V.} ⚔︎

#☮︎You are the future; the hope of this world... {Hope}

#♟Hidden from the rest of the World… Until now {Wandering V.} ✧

#🍎of someone's eye {Mun}

#✎ We may feel out of place; but we fit together so perfectly... {X Ventus} #♔♡ Eventually we all return to it... Kingdom Hearts {S A V E D} #⚖︎ I will keep a just and fair eye... {Invi} #♘ They look to me for Guidance... {Ira} #Heartless; Dusks; Unversed? All the same {Anon} #❥ ANSWERED

#✎ He's a work in progress and that's what matters! {Vanitas/tenebrxsus}

#✎ The Light to my Darkness; he makes up what I lack... {X Vanitas}

#✧ He may be all brawn; but he has the biggest heart {Aced/ursaced}

#✧ You wouldn't hurt me; I know... {X Aced} #✦ The Beginning of it all… {Past V.} ♙ #➳ All right; No more playing around! {Hayner} #♡ It's time to strike {Open Starter} #♔ Beyond the realms... {OOC} #♥︎ I'll find my way... {Riku} #✎ Let's make a promise; To hold each other through it all {X Riku} #♤ I won't fade away so easily! {Lingering Remnant!Vanitas} #♠︎ Different from the rest... {Springy/Hareraiser} #♥︎ Once a Somebody... now a Nobody {Nobody V.} ♤ #✦ A little Generosity never hurt nobody~ {Cari} #✦ He thinks he's sooo good; but I know he's bad~ {Indus/ursaced} #✦ Momma I'm in love with a criminal; I'm the bad guy duh~ {X Indus} #♡ We'll never let the darkness consume us... {Queue}

🎲 May Lady Luck be on your side~ {Fortune} 💘 No matter what happens i’ll always be by your side {Faith} ⚔️ That was undeniable proof that we totally owned you lamers! {Seifer} ⌨️ Cracking the {Code} 🌱Rough around the edges by soft on the inside [Jagged} 🌿 My Strength will help support them… {Aced} 🌟 I will always help the weak {Starlight} 🍃I’ll sweep you up and leave your head spinnin’! {Wind} 🛡 I will always defend them {Keeper} 🃏 Care to take a Gamble? {Luxord/Ordul} 🎵I can drop a beat {Demyx/Dyme}  🎼 Let me play a song for you~ {Arpeggio}

⚠︎ You make me feel things I thought were lost {X Lauriam} ♟ More alike than you know {Rei/solaimaginem} ✎ Even after all this time… we’re connected. {Terra/willfulwayfarer} ✎ We’ll find new secrets to discover… together! {Pence/dxgstreet} ✎ I want to capture this moment {X Pence} ➸✮ Blessed or Cursed with magic that runs within him {Magia} #🎐My Lazy Companion {Sir Snugglesopholis the Flood} #♝ I will prove my worth... {Xionort} #𝒳 No one will know... {Subject X V.} ⭑ #No longer Lost {Naminé; Vanitas & Repliku } #✎ We've had tough pasts but we can move forward {Aiden/lethargic-hunter} #♟We've cut our own strings and now we're free {Xion & Repliku} #Made a sacrifice {Repliku} #Always busy saving everyone else... {Aqua} #☯︎ Disciplinary Committee {Fuu; Seifer & Rai} #yOU leFT mE... {Nightmare Chirithy}

#Why does everything involve running? {Pence}

#Not your Typical Princess... {Kairi}

#Fun and Playful; Strong and Powerful {Ventus}

#♠︎ A little noisy... {Skitters/Flood}

#☓ Always watching; always seeing~ {Master of Masters}

#⭑ How bright is the future? {Skuld}

#♚ Stuck in Between Worlds... {Lingering V.} ♤

#✨I'll learn to use my magic for good {Apprentice V.} ✎

#✎ He understands me like no one else does {Max/pageofgoof}

#🍀I've got a present too; for all of us! {Olette}

#He once wandered the darkness seeking light; only to find he was the light {Riku}

#His smile brings about other people's happiness {Sora}

#👁‍🗨If only I could stand in her light... {Ava/verumheart}

#👁‍🗨If I could begin to be; half of what you think of me I'd do about anything {X Ava}

#🍀She sits by the Seashore {Kairi/thalassicradiance}

#✎ I'll never forget you; promise? {X Sora}

#♜ We all have our Roles to Play... {Foreteller V.} ♠︎

#♗ I have made mistakes & have more regrets than you could imagine {Master Eraqus}

#One of the strongest wielders there is {Terra}

#🎐My lovely little Pearl... {Kairi/thalassicradiance}

#♡ Something that simply resonates with me... {Aesthetic}

#➦ Portal Time {Shooter}

#➥ Eagle Eyes {Sharp}

#🌪Whispers on the Wind {Gale}

#♤ The Nobody that never was... {Kuxir}

#🎐When things are tough; I'll always welcome you home... {Ansem/afoolelopedindarkness}

#✦ I have to complete my role... {Sacrificed V.} ✧

#♡♔ Kingdom FARTS {Crack}

#♟No longer just a vessel... {Xion}

#♣︎ No one would miss me... And yet... {Roxas}

#☀︎ I always keep my promises... {Axel}

#⌁ I have to uncover the truth... {Gula}

#⚠︎ I will find a way to rewrite my Fate {Brain}

#☆⭒ A lost little Star {Strelitzia}

#♚ The Darkness has consumed us… {Alt V.} ♥︎

#{Headcanons}

#☁︎ Where there's rain; there's a storm {Rain}

#🌸As Pretty as a Flower but twice as Dangerous {Song}

#✴︎ May the Tears of Heaven hear my call... {Sterling}

#❅ Her Colours are a reflection of who she is {Aurora}

#✵ Hear my prayer O'Morning Star {Ivory}

#♾You'll never hear their name on the wind... {No Name}

#⚡️The Eye of the Storm {Tempest}

#✑ You write down your feelings on paper {Memoire}

#☆⭒ A Light in the Dark... {Roxas/aftrliight}

#👁‍🗨 It's a heavy burden to carry... {Luxu}

#♥︎ He has every right to be mad at me; but i had to do it {Roxas/caelumobscura}

#♥︎ Twilight and Dawn... What an interesting combination {X Roxas}

#☘︎Oh Look- Nope it's just them... {Dani}

#♣︎ There's just something about him that i hate... and i love {X Riku}

#✎ You remember me; the way I remember you {X Roxas}

#☆⭒ He gives me the courage I need; she is always so kind... {X Roxas}

#☆⭒ Let's go to the garden... {Lauriam/lordofoblivion}

#✘ There is always something worth fighting for... {Kohaku}

#♡ No longer just a Copy... {Repliku/Kouki}

#⚙︎Just because I'm not a 'True' Keyblade doesn't mean I can't kill you {Void}

#♥︎ You and I; were intertwined from the start... {X Kairi}

#♡ These will make anyone laugh! {Memes}

#✬ Here to help! {Chirithy}

#🌼You'll never learn from your mistakes if you don't make them {Ayaka/Roxas' mom}

#♔♡ The Mark of a Master~ {P R O M O}

#✿ Thinking of you wherever you are... {Hana/Sora's Mom}

#♤☆ When the Light embraced the Dark... {Mending Hearts V.} ★♠

#✎ He wants to break the mold {Roxas/serendimpetus}

#🗝🖤The Kingdom's Protector and the Original Blade {Chi}

#♔ Mirrored Reflections; Two in the Same {Twin V.} ♡

#★ I'll be there to hide your light when you need it {Dusk}

#♻︎ I'm not even the real thing...And yet in my soul it says otherwise {Soul}

#✩*~ I'll unlock the mysteries of the world {Ephemer}

#♠︎ Made completely out of Darkness {Vanitas}

#✩*~ We'll meet where the darkness meets the light {X Vanitas}

#➳ Skateboard tricks and Sea Salt Icecream... {X Roxas}

#♡ Let's line up the pieces... Together {Main V.} ♔

#❁ He'll always be my little Sprout... {Kasumi/Riku's mother}

#❁ To trust or not to trust is the question... {Xemnas/potestasaeterna}

#♘ He trusts me to look after everyone; but who's going to look after him? {X Master}

#♘ Always one step ahead... or two- or three {Master/masterxmasters}

#☾ The path between Night and Day... {Dawn}

#♡ A Watchful eye... {Dash Commentary}

#☯︎ Total Annihilation {Fuu}

#✎ Don't forget me... {Naminé}

#☄️ I will always rise up from the Ashes {Libra}

#🔥Better watch out because I always bounce back {Ember}

#💥I will burn Eternally {Flame}

#♕ Together we'll protect the world! {Kiki}

#♛ We'll free their hearts and consume the world in darkness... {Heart!Kiki}

#🍨Not just a sweet treat~ {Sweetie}

#♜ I'll protect you from the Shadows {Oblivion}

#♖ Just follow my Light {Oathkeeper}

#♥︎ No matter the Nightmare; I'll be there {X Ventus}

#♠︎ A little noisy... {Skitters/Flood}

#🎐When you feel it in your heart; you know that your home {Mitsuki/Kairi's Grandma}

#❁ He's my stubborn Rock. {Roxas/aftrliight}

#💥She rises with the moon {Luna/verumheart}

#♧ Even in your dreams... {Dream Eater V.} ♥︎

#🍡 Cheeky Cheel {Leche}

#❦ There's more to Light than meets the eye {Young Eraqus}

#❦ And that's checkmate I win; Hold on it's still my turn {X Young Xehanort}

#The Copycat Trio {Repliku; Vanitas and Xion}

#Created with a purpose {Vanitas}

#🐶Watch out for the Mad Dog~ {Mady}

#➸✮ Reliable and Sturdy as the Shield he carries {Aegis/verumrook}

#➸✮ I shouldn't feel this way but I do... And I don't want to stop {X Aegis}

#✘ ...I will protect his light with my life... {Artemis/keyfamilia}

#✘ I don't know what he sees in me... but i'm grateful {X Artemis}

#🗝🖤A shroud of Mystery and Darkness {Master of Masters/eyesofparoxysm}

#🗝🖤The one who compliments me; who truly understands {X Master of Masters}

#✧ He's a good listener and a good friend {Luxu/gravitasfatum}

#✎ What did I do to deserve you...? {Riku/darkheartedprince}

#♔♡ It rests now within us all... {Drabble}

#💚As playful as a breeze; but as strong as a gale wind {Ventus}

#💫Not even the Night Sky could contain her Light... {Astraea}

#🍏A Bad Apple spoils the bunch {Negative Thoughts}

#☀︎ Set me ablaze; start a fire in me {X Terra}

#☀︎ He's my pillar when I'm not strong {Terra/willfulfwayfarer}

#🎐Just like the Stars; He will burn long after... {Yen Sid/omnipotentmxster}

#☀︎ Never expected to fall for a flower {X Marluxia}

#☀︎ Every Flower has it's thorns and he's full of them {Marluxia/lordofoblivion}

#✿ My Little Sparrow {Sora/lightheartedwarrior}

#❁ My Little Sprout {Riku/darkheartedprince}

#🎐If we keep each other in our hearts; we'll always be strong {Young Mitsuki}

#🎐The Stars align when he smiles... {Young Yen Sid/omnipotentmxster}

#⚚ I'm sending a message to you and I hope that it makes it through {Hermod}

#⭑ He could light the sky with his colours {Sora/valorxdrive}

#⭑ He's my knight and I'm his princess {X Sora}

#⭑ We both just wanted a friend... {Blaine/virusplanted}

#⭑ The future may be uncertain; but I'm certain of us {X Blaine}

#🧶Tying the knot {Married V.}

#♔ In another World; another Time or another Place {AU V.} ♡

#⚖︎She moves with the beauty and grace of her namesake {Aqua/theheartstreasure}

#⚖︎I certainly don't know what I did to deserve you; but i'm grateful {X Aqua}

#⌁ The only one I'll always trust {Ava/starshold}

#❀ Careful the Flowers have ears {Foxglove}

#☆⭒ He's my bookworm... {Blaine/virusplanted}

#☆⭒ One day I saw him there and couldn't help but gravitate towards him {X Blaine}

#♔ A World without Magic... {Modern V.} ♡

#🎐An old friend and fellow Master {Eraqus/eraqus-the-defender}

#❦ I wish I was enough to keep you from the Darkness... {Young Xehanort/iuvienis}

#🌕A place where all hearts are one... {Kingdom Hearts}

#🔮The Mistress of Darkness {Maleficent}

#🐚Overcame the Impossible {Maryllis/Kairi's Mother}

#🌊I will do my duty to protect the people {Nalani/Destiny Islands Mayor}

#🥀Poison runs through their veins {Vera}

#✩*~ He's the smartest guy I know {Brain/virusplanted}

#✩*~ We'll always be connected; no matter where we fly too {X Brain}

#🐚His Majesty and My King {Ansem/afoolelopedindarkness}

#🐚Two halves of a whole {X Ansem The Wise}

#✩*~ Flowers can be strong so long as you let them {Lauriam/lordofoblivion}

#🐚My Precious Treasure {Kairi/thalassicradiance}

#🐚Like Mother like daughter {Maryllis and Kairi}

#🎶Listen to my Melody {Maestro}

#Before Summer Vacation is over; we should go to the beach! {Twilight Town Gang}

#♘ More important than he realizes {Kage/thechessboard}

#✩*~ I use to think Dandelions were just weeds; I think they're beautiful {X Lauriam}

#📓Don't always believe what you see... {Lexicon}

#🌹Strong and Elegant {Rose}

#⚠︎ Infuriating and yet... He's Mi Rosa {Lauriam/rxsoideae}

#✧ She's as strong as she is beautiful {Aqua/theheartstreasure}

#✧ She makes me feel like a princess; she gives me hope {X Aqua}

#✎ We will always have each other's backs {Naminé and Aiden}

#☆⭒ Wallflower friends {Luxu and Strelitzia}

#The Darkness gave us purpose... {Dark Repliku; Vanitas & Xionort}

#Let's go to the beach {Axel; Xion & Roxas}

#⚔︎Childhood rivals to lovers {X Hayner}

#⭑★ Fallen Hearts turn to Dark Stars… {Darkling V.} ❤︎♥︎

#⭑ ...Unknowingly My Protector... {Braig/freeshooterxig}

#🍀We're stronger than we look {X Kairi}

#♟He isn't all darkness... {Vanitas/unversedshadow}

#✧ My precious Snowflake Dandelion... {Theo/keytosolidarity}

#✎ She was my light; He was my knight {X Repliku}

[dimensionwriter]

Mechanical Heart

Part Seven

Male Android x F! Reader

Warning: None

Word Count: 1852

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Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

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You gripped the handles on your office chair as Axel stood in front of you with his arms folded. You didn’t know if you were supposed to talk first or him, but whatever was supposed to happen hasn't yet, only leaving you in this insufferable silence.

“I’m sorry for earlier,” you whispered, staring down. Axel still stood there and didn’t move a muscle. “I know you were trying to help me and I was being over emotional again. I’ll try to improve myself.”

Axel finally moved. He uncross his arm and walked forward. Squatting down, he rested his arms on the desk while leaning towards you. Your head was still down, afraid of what he was going to type.

He leaned forward a little more until his upper half was on the desk. You shrunk into the seat as his screen was right there in front of your face. You flickered your eyes up to see words flooding his screen.

“You aren’t over emotional, you’re perfectly fine. Emotions are perfectly normal for humans. It’s just me who needs to adapt to it,” he wrote in the same normal font, but had some curve to it. You scooted up in your chair as you shook your head at him.

“No, you’re fine too. I need to understand your morals too,” you spoke with a reassuring smile. He dropped his screen onto his folded arms. “I guess we both got to just get used to working with someone of the other species.”

Axel's head dropped down slightly as his finger balled into a fist. He seemed to be battling to say something. Quietly shaking his head, he lifted his screen proudly up and began to type. “Yeah, it’s just that I think I’m starting to feel-”

The door slid open and you both jumped. Axel almost fell off the desk before standing straight up. You leaned back into the chair to seem normal.

Spinning the chair nonchalantly towards the door, you were met with Screw standing at the door. A neutral face emoticon came onto their screen as they rotated their head between Axel and you.

“I hate to ruin your moment, but we need to do a drug bust and you two were the ones chosen,” he wrote slowly while tilting his screen from Axel and you. You hoped he wasn't getting the wrong idea right now.

"Of course, give us the address we will be right there," you said in what you thought was a normal voice, but it was pitched up and spoken too fast. You jumped out of your chair and walked towards Screw.

"I sent it to Axel," he wrote in a big font while looking at Axel. Axel gave a swift nod in understanding. He turned around and walked over to a cabinet in the corner that held all your weapons and supplies.

Tapping your shoulder, you turned around to see Screw writing extremely fast on his screen. "I see you two loose screws finally talked it out. And about what you asked for earlier, I changed my mind. I think it would be a lot more fun if you didn't have it. I prefer for the tension to keep rising."

Tension? What tension was he talking about? You know what, this is Screw you're talking about.

"I actually didn't want it anymore, anyways. And I don't know what you mean by tension, but I'm sure it will go away," you whispered with your head held high. A laughing emoticon appeared on his face followed by a gif of a lady smirking.

"Oh trust me, this tension will grow even more. I shall enjoy watching every moment of it," he said with an exaggeration in his use of cursive. Lifting a hand, you boldly flicked his screen. He may be your boss, but he sure doesn't act like it.

A hand grabbed your shoulder and spun you around. Axel was standing there with a bunch of equipment in his hand. He placed a majority of it on the table before leaving only what looked to be a bulletproof tank top.

"Lift your arms," he wrote slowly raising up the vest. Was he about to dress you? You are not a little child, plus you don't need one of those.

"Axel, I'm not putting that on," you said nicely while gently pushing it away. An opposing force went against you causing the tank top to be pushed towards you.

"They might have guns and you can be damaged if struck with a bullet," he wrote slowly pushing it towards you. You shook your head and pushed it harder.

A bullet proof tank top is a lot better than the old vest they used to use. However, it was still uncomfortable to wear and restricted a lot of your upper movement. You wanted to be at the top of your game for Axel. You didn't need anything holding you back.

"Please, put on the protective gear," he wrote with that sharper font with a slight red gradient at the bottom of his word. It's the chair situation all over again. However, this time you won't be a brat about.

"Fine, I'll put on the vest. But there's no way in hell I'm putting on the pants," you growled out pointing to the familiar fabric on the table. It was the equivalent of cement formed like pants.

Axel glanced at the pants then back at the tank top. Numbers began flowing across his face as he stared down at the tank top in his hands. His head spun 90 degrees to the pants on the table.

"After calculating all the possibilities, it would be safest for you to put on this item due to most of your internal organs being there. Although, I will bring the pants along in case of an emergency." He scrolled down a little to allow you to see the words. You narrowed your eyes at him and crossed your arms.

"I'm not wearing the pants," you said firmly. Axel froze as he looked around the room. His eyes landed on something causing you to look over too. He seemed to be focusing on the bean bag in the corner.

"If you wear the pants, I will get the second chair," he proposed with the word 'chair' bolded. How lowly does Axel view your will power? You were not some weak minded human. It's not like he would even use the chair like you intended, so why would you cave in?

You stood in front of Screw with the bullet proof tank top and pants on. Your old black police jacket was thrown on top black.

"Hey, Screw. When are we getting our new department jackets?" You asked pointing with your thumb to the back of your jacket. It's kind of weird that you guys made a big deal about the combining, but the public still sees you in your old uniform.

"We're working on a design," they wrote in an italicized font that wasn't as dramatically cursive like their usual one. Their screen turned behind you before turning back to you. Why were they acting so weird?

A pair of arms wrapped around your waist before you were slightly tugged back into a firm chest. You stood there in shock as Axel leaned closer to you. His screen had a slight pink hue to it that was barely noticeable; his screen appeared to be black, but there was a light pink colour reflecting off his jacket.

"Um, Axel?" You asked tilting your head forward to look at his face. Axel seems hesitant to turn his screen towards you.

"I was putting on the utility belt for you. Or would you prefer only the gun holster?" His words were written in that same old grey times new roman font making his intention feel innocent, but the arms around your waist and feeling of his body around yours said otherwise.

Stop it. He's an android. He doesn't know any better. Don't even begin to think that this is supposed to be intimate. It's normal.

"Oh, yeah I think the holster would be fine," you wheezed out with a forced smile. His arms departed from you and you let out a small breath you didn't know you were holding.

"So… are you going to keep denying this tension?" As soon as you read the words, they made them disappear. "Yeah, this mission shouldn't be that bad. Lots of reports about this building that we believe could be a hideout of some drug dealers."

It felt like you got whiplash from how fast they changed that attitude. You did need that information because Axel didn't seem like the type to give you everything and just shorten it. However, how can they go from talking about this random tension to the mission?

Axel's arms slowly slithered around your waist and once again, you were slightly tucked into his chest. You pretended he wasn't there as Screw continued to give information.

We were to first scoop around the area and see if there's truly anything suspicious. There is already confirmation, but we just need to be sure.

Wow, Axel is taking a while to put this thing on.

With confirmation, we will try to break it up and arrest everyone. Scan their faces to put it into the program. If we need backup-

Axel's body was definitely closer and his screen was laying against your shoulder. He's an android. He's an android. He doesn't do emotions like that.

There are polices stationed around just in case things get out of hand. So we just have to tap the backup button on my holster or Axel just send it out. It should go smoothly, just in case.

Axel finally slid away and you felt like you just ran a marathon. Your heart felt like it was trying to fight your rib cage right now. Not to include sweat pouring out of every pore.

"Officer, are you okay?" Screw wrote in bold letter and that bright gold colour. The cursive was so exaggerated that you could tell it was written in a teasing tone. As to push their teasing, they released a slight whirring sound that sounded too similar to cackling. "The tension getting to you?"

A gentle hand was placed on your shoulder and now it was your turn to hesitantly turn towards it. Axel screen was completely black except for the words written: "What's wrong? Are you catching a human sickness?"

"No, nothing. We should be heading out," he said with a tight smile. His posture tensed up and he looked about ready to type something. Taking that window of opportunity, you grabbed his arm and headed towards the door.

Screw gave you a mocking two finger salute that you returned with a glare. You were quick to pass by them before they could type anything else.

You had a feeling on what they meant by that tension. Although, they were mistaken to think that it was between you two. It was more one sided and it was all from your end.

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Here's another one. I didn't realize I was already on part seven. It don't know if this series is getting too long. It might be getting around time.

Anyway, as usual, please leve a COMMENT and a LIKE. I'm working on setting up a commission post, so if you're interested you can message me with any questions.

Thank you so much for reading. Love you guys💜💜💜💜

[darlinrogue]

Timeline Notes-- To assist with 4D chess.

Source for Ansem Reports

358/2 Days Reports 

KH3 Secret Reports 

_______________________________________________________________________

Secret Report 13: At some point, Luxu possessed Braig. 

Braig leads Dilan and Ansem the Wise, to the unconscious Terranort in the castle courtyard. 

Secret Ansem Report 1:  Ansem the Wise decides to conduct a ‘psychological experiment’ on Terranort who has no memories of his past. Ansem claims that Terranort has served him, ‘ever since I nursed him back from death's door some years ago.” Even is mentioned to be interested in Xehanort’s memories. 

We can conclude it was more than a year between BBS and the formation of the Organization. 

Ansem Report 2: Terranort (pretending to be Ansem the Wise) conducts a series of experiments on test subjects. These include: 1. Extracting darkness from a heart; 2.Cultivating darkness in a pure heart; 3. Suppressing and amplifying darkness in a heart. Heartless appear in the Radiant Garden castle after the test subjects fall to darkness. 

Ansem Report 4: Terranort discovers that the heartless are seeking hearts. He observes that people who lose their hearts become heartless. 

Secret Report 3: Subject X is found in the Radiant Garden square, unconscious, without any memories. Xehanort conducts experiments on her. 

Secret Report 5: The experiments Xehanort have become so egregious that the screams of the subjects can be heard outside the castle at night. Saïx claims that Dilan and Aeleus are researchers as well. Inside the castle Isa and Lea found Subject X. 

Ansem Report 5: Terranort follows a heartless into the deepest part of the castle. He finds a massive door, behind which there was a powerful mass of energy. That night there was a meteor shower in the sky. (In Ansem Report 6 Terranort says that the heartless are taking hearts from people but also the world itself, seeking the energy core he saw). 

Ansem Report 7: Terranort finds Gummi blocks, which fell from the sky on the night of Ansem Report 5. Terranort mentions he wishes to leave Radiant Gardens. 

Ansem Report 8: Terranort creates a machine that will make artificial heartless AKA the emblem heartless. Terranort learns of the keyblade. 

Ansem Report 10, Terranort explains that all worlds have a heart and the heartless seek to devour those hearts so they can return to Kingdom Hearts. Xehanort decides to cast off his body and plunge into the darkness.

Secret Ansem Report 2: Ansem the Wise learns of the experiments that his ‘six beloved apprentices’ are carrying in the lab beneath Radiant Gardens. Evidently, Ienzo had urged him to construct this lab in basement of the castle. He is visited by King Mickey. Ansem discovers that Xehanort has been using his name to pen the Ansem Reports. (Ansem Report 9: King Mickey visits Radiant Gardens via a gummi ship. He speaks with Ansem the Wise. Terranort learns of Gummi Blocks and their ability for interworld travel.) Terranort asks Ansem the Wise for permission to continue experiments but Ansem forbids it. 

Secret Report 1: Subject X is kept in a cell in Radiant Garden’s castle, occasionally visited by Isa and Lea. She is eventually removed from the cell by a ‘man with an eye patch,’ who is most definitely not Braig.

Secret Report 4: Xehanort had continued to study Subject X but garners no new useful information from her. He discovers that she is missing. 

Secret Report 6: Isa and Lea had continued to break into the castle to see Subject X. However, one day they discover she has vanished. They then joined the apprentices to search for her. 

Ansem Report 11: Terranort realizes that the keyblade can seal off a world’s heart. Knowing that the keyblade and the Princesses of Light are connected, so, he shoots Kairi into space. 

Ansem Report 13: Terranort defines a nobody as a body, still animated by the soul, devoid of the heart. By this theory he realizes that it is possible for a person to exist in two places at the same time.  “However, I am certain that if your self exists here, then by definition the other cannot truly "exist." The other, the one which does not exist,...”

Terranort rouses in Radiant Garden Labs, with Braig who questions his actions. We are shown an unconscious Even and Ienzo, shrouded in darkness on the floor. Terranort summons the keyblade and attacks Braig. A small gold light escapes from his chest. Xehanort claims the name ‘Ansem.’

It seems likely that the numbering in the Organization is indicative of who joined first. Not who became nobodies first. Given that Dilan and Aeleus are not yet present in the room --who proceed Even and Ienzo in number respectively-- this seems likely. Furthermore, Braig, number II, is attacked after Ienzo and Even. 

A possible theory is that Ienzo and Even were working on an experiment with Xehanort, who turned on them. Somehow, Xehanort lost consciousness, and that was when Braig arrived.

Secret Ansem Report 3: Ansem the Wise observes that the apprentices (Even, Ienzo, Braig, Dilan, and Aeleus) have been corrupted by darkness, ceasing to no longer be human. Ansem the Wise has been cast out of Radiant Gardens to a ‘realm of nothingness.’ Ansem takes on the name of DiZ and sets out for revenge.

Secret Ansem Report 6: Ansem the Wise, now DiZ, discovers corridors of darkness that lead him out of the ‘realm of nothingness’. There he discovers, Ansem, Seeker of Darkness to be commanding other heartless to attack other worlds. He does not know what happened to the other five apprentices. 

Xemnas takes a very long walk to the Chamber of Repose. There he speaks to Aqua’s armor. Ienzo and Xigbar discuss the Chamber of Repose, and Chamber of Waking. It is established that Xigbar has found Marluxia but Lexeaus and Xaldin are still searching for the twelfth member. 

The chamber of repose is where the apprentices studied the darkness behind Ansem the Wise’s back. Ansem sealed the room away when he found-out, but Xemnas undid the seal once Ansem got kicked-out. 

Around this time, it seems, that Castle Oblivion had been found. 

Sora obtains the keyblade after Destiny Islands fall into darkness. Mickey sets out from the castle. 

Secret Ansem Report 7: Ansem the Wise, now DiZ, finds Twilight Town and sets up his laboratory in the abandon mansion. He does experiments on the heartless. He observes that Sora and Mickey are fighting the heartless. However, DiZ is concerned about the rise of ‘nobodies.’ He observes Organization 13 --with 13 nobodies at its core, which must mean Roxas has joined and by extension Xion-- have divided into two. Some have gone to Castle Oblivion. (Day 22: Castle Oblivion, Axel and the other go to Castle Oblivion). 

Mickey finds Aqua in the Realm of Darkness. Mickey says that Aqua has been in the Realm of Darkness for about ‘ten years.’ Later on, after traveling with Aqua for a time, Mickey finds Riku but Aqua remains trapped in the Realm of Darkness. On the light side Sora defeats Ansem, Seeker of Darkness.  Sora and Riku, close the door between the two realms. 

Secret Ansem Report 8: Ansem the Wise, now DiZ, notes that Ansem, Seeker of Darkness has been defeated. DiZ observes Castle Oblivion and the Organization’s movements there. He notes the presence of Naminé and her abilities. Sora arrives at the castle. (Day 24: The Upper Floors Zexion notes that Marluxia has led Sora to the Castle). 

Secret Ansem Report 9: Ansem the Wise, now Diz, says that Sora has defeated Marluxia and saved Namine. (Day 51: Measures Must Be Taken Saix receives a report that everyone sent to Castle Oblivion has died).

Secret Ansem Report 10: Sora goes to sleep  to recover his lost memories and Naminé is ‘persuaded’ to help DiZ awaken him. Naminé and Diz move Sora to Twilight Town. Riku joins DiZ in helping to awaken Sora. 

Secret Ansem Report 12: Roxas is captured by Riku. Riku brings Roxas to Twilight Town where Ansem places him in the the data Twilight Town. 

Secret Ansem Report 13: Sora Wakes-up

Braig speaks with Young Xehanort in the Radiant Garden Labs after recompleting.  We are shown: Isa, Lea, Dilan, Aeleus, Ienzo, and Even unconscious on the floor. Braig notes that Xemnas is nowhere to be found, and that that means things are already in motion. Isa probably went with Braig and Young Xehanort when they left.

At what appears to be a similar time, Mickey and Yen Sid agree to put Riku and Sora through the Mark of Mastery, upon realizing that Master Xehanort has likely reformed. 

Lea awakens in the Radiant Garden labs, alongside the unconscious forms of Aeleus, Dilan, Ienzo, and Even. Aeleus and Ienzo are shown also rousing shortly after Lea. 

Lea no longer has his teardrop marks, which is proof to him that they are human again. 

Lea comments that “only the ones who joined the Organization here,” Xehanort doesn’t count, but Braig and Isa are not present. 

Braig and Isa awoke before Aeleus, Lea, and Ienzo, and had already left. 

This implies that Isa and Lea were present for the original formation of the Organization. 

Theoretically then, after being turned into nobodies, upon awakening, all eight ‘agreed’ to form the Organization. With ‘Ansem’ first, Braig second due to already working for Xehanort, and everyone else following.

If the Dream Drop Distance scenes are chronological, than this takes place after Sora and Riku begin the Mark of Mastery. 

Order of events: Braig wakes-up at RG; He talks to Young Xehanort who informs him of their plan to trap Sora; At the same time Yen Sid calls for Sora and Riku to start the Mark of Mastery; Sora and Riku start their journey into the sleeping worlds; Lea and everyone else wakes-up. 

Lea returns from looking for Isa and Braig.  Aeleus establishes that Even and Dilan are awake, but resting. Ienzo further establishes that when a nobody is re-completed they will wake-up where their original bodies were. Or, Traverse Town, if that world is not available. Lea leaves to find Isa and Braig.

Secret Report 7: Even awakens after re-completing and lies in bed, contemplating what to do next. On another day, he takes a walk outside and is then approached by Saïx to resume the replica program. He agrees and becomes Vexen again. 

Lea saves Mickey and Minnie from Malificent.  Data, data, data, something, something, Xehanort was the one that showed Malificent the other worlds and how to use darkness. Lea found Mickey so Mickey would take him to Yen Sid, or something along those lines. 

Lea offers to help Yen Sid find Sora. And also gets a keyblade. Yen Sid later says that Lea had left to train with Merlin in a ‘temporally flexible’ area. Just to really mess with the timeline some more. 

For the record, the reason Xemnas is here is because Young Nort collected his ‘heart’ right before his death in KH2. Same goes for Ansem. In other words, the Organization members are using temporary replicas to appear in this time. 

Riku steps in to stop Sora from being norted. Evidently, Xehanort has been trying to get 13 vessels for the last decade or so. Roxas was too independent (and Xion for that matter), Riku was resistant to the darkness, but Sora is just dumb enough. Thanks to Lea, Mickey, and Riku stepping-in, Xehanort is stopped which leads to like... Plan G. Use replicas as a permanent house for the Organization member’s hearts and then attempt to conquer Kingdom Hearts. 

Yes, so Xehanort’s plan, was as follows:

1. Split Ventus into Ventus and Vanitas, use their pure light and darkness to summon kingdom hearts-- Fail. 

2. Get Malificent to find 7 pure hearts of light and use that to summon Kingdom Hearts-- Get punched by Sora.

3. Fill 13 nobodies with pieces of his heart, then also use the keyblade to summon kingdom hearts via killing a lot of heartless -- Also get punched by Sora.

 4. Time travel about..... 12 different people into the future, Nort Sora, and then summon Kingdom Hearts-- Get punched by Lea.

 5. Use replicas to time travel about... 7 different people into the future, and then pit all 13 darknesses to punch the 7 lights, and summon kingdom hearts-- Once again, be punched by Sora. 

Secret Report 8: Vexen perfects his original replicas for Xehanort so that Xemnas and the other norts can assist in the present time. 

It’s really confusing, but the Organization that we see in DDD, is all of the members time traveling in temporary replicas. (So, Luxord before he was defeated in KH2 etc.) This uses up 13 of the original replicas that Vexen had made in the first replica project. In KH3, Demyx, Vexen, Luxord, Marluxia, Larxene, Saïx, and Xigbar, are all the people who were defeated in KH2, recompleted, then renorted. 

The remaining 7 replicas were used for all the norts, which Vexen then improved upon. Vexen then re-made No. i, and created the replicas for Roxas and Naminé. 

Kairi arrives at Yen Sid Tower to begin training as a keyblade wielder. Micky then explains what happened to Aqua to Riku, Yen Sid, and Kairi. Riku and Mickey decide to go to the Realm of Darkness to find Aqua, while Kairi commences training alongside Lea, with Merlin. Sora is sent to Hercules to help him regain his lost powers. 

After Sora travels to Mt. Olympus, and Mickey and Riku to the Shadow Realm, Sora receives a call updating him on the RG crew. Ienzo tells Sora that there are other hearts in him, that had been found by Ansem the Wise and hidden in data inside Sora. It is not until after Sora visits Twilight Town that Ienzo then tells him that Even has gone missing. 

Ienzo says that the apprentices ‘cast off their hearts by choice.’ Do with that information as you will. 

Ienzo says that Even vanished ‘sometime after’ Lea left. So Even may’ve been gone all the way back to about the mid-point of Dream Drop Distance. Thanks for keeping everyone informed, Ienzo. 

Secret Report 9: Ienzo, based on Ansem’s data, discovers that there are three hearts inside of Sora, including Ventus, Xion, and Roxas. He notes that they need replicas and a ‘spark’ to awaken them, or something. 

Almost immediately after, Ansem and Xemnas show-up in replica bodies. However long Even has been gone, it was long enough to make Xehanort his new replicas. 

Theory: after Xehanort’s plan with Sora failed, Saïx immediately approached Even to have him make the replicas. 

[snowflake-of-destruction]

This isn’t something I normally participate in, but, since I didn’t write much in June and shared hardly anything(something I plan to change in July if I can), I thought I should give some proof of (creative) life if anyone wants it.

Under the cut, a series of tiny excerpts, most more than six sentences, of different Kingdom Hearts pieces to be rescued from the limbo of “half finished chunk of something in a google doc.” Some of them belong to WIPs and some are from various other things started and then interrupted or....we’ll say set to a back burner.

All excerpts headed by a bolded header in the style of 

Title of Piece This Belongs To (Brief description of what kind of fic that is in between parenthesis)

Advantage Rule (Isalea Modern AU. First Chapter Up On AO3. More Info There.)

"You lost or are you the new caulk?" The speaker didn't fit the typical profile of a tech professional, especially one that worked behind the scenes with the coders. Mid-fifties judging by the lines on his face with thinning blond hair so light you could hardly tell where some parts had gone silver combed to stick up as a compensation for where it threatened to recede and leather skin that said he'd worked outside in some decade past, paired with a southern accent that seemed stronger than it was with the effect added by the toothpick precariously balanced in the corner of his mouth. He'd rejected business attire in favor of cargo pants and a dark blue flight jacket that looked like they'd been bought in the last century, and the look in his eye was so fierce without prompting that Axel had to wonder if he was a failsafe for the air conditioning breaking down.

"Am I the what?"

"Caulk." The toothpick switched sides of the man's mouth with a roll of his bottom lip. "Fixing the leaks? The cybersecurity specialist? Axel Lea?" His impatience mounted by the moment. Working on the fourth floor would certainly be interesting.

"Yes, sir. That would be me." Axel tried to smooth the way with deference and the easy smile that rarely steered him wrong. "Does that make you...?"

"Cid Highwind. I'll be showing you the ropes. Now that you've seen fit to grace us with your presence." Cid continued to stare him down and Axel wasn't sure if he was supposed to apologize or bare his teeth and smack his chest like a gorilla to challenge the alpha.

Without False Hope ( First Chapter Up On AO3. More Info There. Akuroku KH/FFX crossover)

Axel was waiting for them, or  it seemed that way at least and Roxas didn’t think himself vain for thinking so, when Roxas spotted the lanky redhead not jogging himself but leaning against a pole until he saw the Crusaders approaching and then falling in next to Roxas just behind Xion as she bellowed, "Young Crusaders gather 'round,"  the beginning of a call and response chant that the rest of them would answer with a promise to knock enemies back and stand their ground or an alternate about beating Sin beneath the ground if they were feeling

Axel finished the line a beat before the Crusaders would have, substituting his own words. "...Eager for Sin to put you in the ground." Roxas's heart, which had soared for a moment when Axel had come up beside him and dared to hope that Axel's first words would be a version of sorry or an invitation out somewhere without other people, took a sharp plummet to his toes then returned to his chest angry at being mocked.

Assorted grumbles and shouts showed many others felt the same way, but Xion seemed to take it in stride, sing-songing her own improvised lines that continued the cadence of the original chant without missing a beat, "Young civilian come to heckle and stare. What would you do if a fiend attacked and we weren't there?"

Axel near stumbled but recovered and let out a short bark that might have been a laugh he wasn't sure he was allowed without inviting training Crusaders to make him pay for it, afterward rumbling in an impressed tone, "You, I like,."

"You should. " Xion shot back and her casual tone alone was enough that everyone else in the formation knew Axel was an acceptable stranger even if he was rude, and that they should ignore the intrusion. "I'm not sure I like you back. Roxas has been mooning and it makes him impossible."

Guardian Force (Akuroku. Axel and Roxas in the next life, living as NPCs in the world of/during the story of FFVIII. Part of my eventual plan to show Axel and Roxas living out every Final Fantasy game. Unpublished/First chapter never completed because I decided on Without False Hope/a FFX crossover instead)

"You often talk to yourself?" an insolent lazy drawl came from somewhere to Axel's left and he turned, eyes narrowing to see a boy in a rumpled Balamb cadet uniform lying across the second highest step, book in hand, vibrant blue eyes, ice eyes like he'd junctioned Shiva right to his vision, trained on him over the spine.

"To my Guardian Force," Axel explained, though that seemed worse. Over six foot of height and lean muscle and the SeeD uniform Axel wore at least enough parts of for it to be vaguely recognizable that he belonged to the elite unit, all usually worked together enough that there was usually no reason to be embarrassed by anything he let slip out.  Nobody would laugh even if Axel welcomed it.

"Thought you didn't like using Guardian Forces," the lounging student's voice was just as nonchalant as it was before, but his gaze was sharp, interested, and he spoke as if he knew Axel.

"Have we met?" Axel knocked the sole of his left boot against the side of his right as if scraping mud off the bottom. It wasn't odd for him to shift constantly even when mostly still, unless he was specifically called to stand at attention. There was an air of discomfort about the present action though, when taken with how jade eyes known for constant analysis on and off the battlefield, seemed attracted to the handrail of the steps rather than searching the face of the boy that had just spoken to him with familiarity.  Axel's normally iron stomach soured immediately at the idea they had met and he'd forgotten, to the point he couldn't even bring himself to try and jog his recollection. All he could do was force out his least favorite question next to 'when did that happen?'

Lollipop (Soriku and Akuroku. College AU/Modern AU. Unpublished. Sora and Roxas in an acapella group because that was the only way I could work out how to get them to sing and do choreo for songs that get stuck in Shaky’s head, which was the Goal of the Day one day before I got distracted)

When Sora said he had a new idea for a piece for the CrescenDudes' next performance, Roxas had been more than happy to volunteer to work on the arrangement with him. Sora was great for ideas, large picture and little flourishes that made a song a show, and he was, hands down, who you wanted doing choreography, even if he tended to get carried away and not realize there weren't many others with the dance and movement background he had in their group, but he wasn't suited for the musical side of sculpting a piece. He'd sing what he was given and he'd stay on pitch doing it, but he had no idea to weave songs together to form a mashup that sounded natural and created the right feeling in a crowd,  and he'd forget to accommodate  for everyone's voices or go the opposite direction and try to highlight everyone and have twenty solos. So it was up to Roxas to take his vision from neat idea to reality, and he jumped at the chance. He'd do anything at this point to distract Sora from dragging him into wedding planning for a few days when that should be Riku’s job as the other groom.  

Hourglass (Unpublished. Self-indulgent BBS Era--at least for this excerpt-- story about KH Squall/Leon and Seifer growing up in Radiant Garden and explaining how they got to be on separate planets and separate ages by the time KH1 rolls around. May be competed and posted to AO3 or just used as a base/record of headcanon for sprinkling backstory references in other pieces.)

Seifer challenged Lea and Isa to break back into the castle and come back with proof this time. He would have just called Lea a liar, but that would lead to Lea trying to fight him, which would lead to Isa trying to fight him, which would lead to Squall getting in the way, thinking Seifer couldn't handle a two on one fight with some chicken wusses. Then Squall would still try to sneak into the castle himself to see Ellone anyway--and she wasn’t in the castle in the first place...probably. Seifer would have to drag Squall’s ass out of there, and, if they got caught by the Royal Guard, then they’d be the next rumored prisoners in the basement.  It was safer to make it be Lea and Isa's challenge.

Lea took the bait. Isa, surprisingly, added they were planning a return trip anyway. Squall shot Seifer a questioning look, which he ignored in favor of taunting Lea and sealing the deal, "I can't wait to see you two hobble in tomorrow after getting your asses beat by the Guard. Try not to hit your thick skulls on the flagstones when you get thrown out."

Drowning (Unfinished/unpublished. Placeholder name. Sorikai. Supposed to be for the Sorikai Summer Event. Prompt: Drowning. Long one shot about eight times one of the Destiny Trio has nearly drowned and then been saved by the others)

Their first prototype of a raft had fallen apart underneath them in open water, the ties that lashed the planks together having not been as securely tied as they could have been--the book on sailor's knots Sora had provided was a lot more obtuse than it had seemed at first, descriptions dense and picture demonstrations too sparse. Kairi and Sora each fared well, each grabbing onto a floating plank to drift a minute and orient themselves after being plunged into the water. Riku was less successful, being fixated on saving as many of the supplies Kairi and Sora had gathered (coconuts, mushrooms, and bottles of water mostly, though there had been a tackle box that Riku's father would kill him for losing if he had to go back and face him, and that was what Riku was primarily focused on) and exhausting his breath on too many dives in a row without recovery in between until he was lightheaded from not taking in enough air in his hasty gulps when he broke the surface and increasingly imprecise in where he chose to come out of the water until he hit his head on the bottom of the plank he was loading the recovered supplies onto and went down without resurfacing.

No Set Recipe (Unfinished/unpublished.  Sorikai. Supposed to be for the Sorikai Summer Event. Prompt: Ice Cream. Kidfic. Sora’s mom is left with the job of explaining polyamory while making homemade ice cream with a group of five and six year olds.)

It was all Selphie's fault to start with, though if she was going to be ascribed the blame for the hurt feelings, she would have to be given credit for all that happened after, which Riku and Sora both agreed she did not deserve, even if Kairi was more magnanimous, so it became habit just to talk of the ice cream and the impact it had on their future. Still, the most accurate account begins with: one day when they were all young-- too young to even be allowed to swim in the water surrounding play island without an adult in the surf with them, if that gives perspective--Selphie, to everyone's surprise, scored the winning goal in the game of land-blitzball the group of them were playing in order to decide what game they would really spend the day playing, and chose, to absolutely nobody's surprise, house.

Everyone accepted their fate and divided into family units with minimal grumbling, phrasing which means that Wakka threw the blitzball into the sea and lost it forever when Jecht--the parent chaperone on play island that day who was five minutes away from falling asleep on the sand and typically didn't care what they did, unlike most parents who at least had restrictions about not hitting each other in the head with wooden swords or throwing sand, and was the favorite of the children for that attitude of freedom to make mistakes being a better teacher than rules--refused to go into the water after it.

Selphie, however, found a problem with Sora, Riku, and Kairi's family. Specifically, she didn't like that the family was Riku, Kairi, and Sora all together parenting a yellow coconut Kairi was trying to rock to sleep while Riku built him a bed out of sand and palm fronds and Sora cooked dinner for the household--a savoury stew of sticks, sand, and mushroom. She stood with pursed lips and hands on hips, and declared that their proud coconut son, Rekka, couldn't have all three of them for parents because that wasn't how things worked.

"Why not?" Sora asked with all the curiosity and innocence of a child.

Riku tried a more practical, solution based approach with, "Can we change the rules?"

Kairi was more direct and firm, her, "It does if I say so," leaving very little room to argue.

[tetrakys]

Sweet Elite - Chapter 7

I reckon I’ve never done one of my big episode review for SE, so here I am, seat tight because there’s lots to unpack. Thus I’m putting everything under a cut.

Episode 6 left us with the meanest cliffhanger ever: we found out that Tadashi’s father has been arrested for colluding with the yakuza. Now we’re waiting in front of Lady Arlington’s office to learn about Tadashi’s destiny at the academy. When he finally comes out, he tells us that Lady A (unwillingly) asked him to start packing because unless he can prove he has no hand in his father’s illegal business, he has to leave.

Now, this part leaves me confused. First of all, no one not even Tadashi suggested that this might be a mistake and that his father is innocent. Aren’t people innocent until proven guilty? There’s been no trial yet. At the end of the episode we find out that there are many proofs against him and he sounds like a total asshole on the phone, so he is (almost certainly but you never know) guilty, still someone should have at least wondered about his innocence.

Also, Tadashi is a minor, fifteen/sixteen years old, he should not be under any scrutiny. Yes we know that he works with his father, but he’s still technically a kid in the eyes of the world. I understand the whispers and damages to his reputation, but I find it kinda absurd that he gets immediately kicked out of school, even if he’s there under “special circumstances”.

Anyway, we spend the whole episode talking with people about what they think about the situation and thinking about a way to help Tadashi. After talking with everyone, we meet Tadashi who shares with scholar about his situation and reveals that his parents are sort of blackmailing him into testify to his father’s behalf (he has pleaded not guilty). Apparently even though there are toooons of proofs including videos and witnesses, somehow Tadashi’s testimony is the key to his father’s freedom (?) Again, I am confused.

By the end of the episode, it seems that we are part of the Save-Tadashi squad which officially includes scholar, Karolina and Alistar, but Raquel also wants to help and Tegan has kinda been thrown into the mix by his sister, who asked him to hack Nakano’s Corp network (🙄 easy peasy right?)

I have to admit, I am not a big fan of this arc, it seems a little illogical from my point of view. But maybe that’s the point? We are normal people who identify with scholar who is a normal person surrounded by extraordinary people in an extraordinary environment. Maybe we are supposed to feel dumbfounded by everything that’s happening? I want to have faith in the team and believe that this story is going to make sense by the end.

I feel that the game is at a crossroad. I know there have been many changes this past year in the team and I really appreciate how they are all juggling life, school, work while at the same time making this amazing game. I bet it’s draining both mentally and physically. 

This kinda reflects in the game, because the past two episodes have felt somehow rushed and not at the same level of the previous ones. Episode 7 is basically one objective: find out what people think about Tadashi’s situation. That’s it. Nothing happens in the plot and you spend your whole time just going back and forward trying to talk to people about what just happened. Considering that this is an otome game, you basically have one conversation with your crush and that’s it. I like talking with all the guys, but having one-on-one with everyone made more sense when we were trying to get to know them. I know that technically it has been just around one month or little more of school in-game, but we players wait months between one episode and the next, to just get one short conversation with the crush. Talking as someone who plays loooooooooots of otome games, I would find much more interesting if I could chose with whom to spend time, and spend the whole episode only with those few selected people, 10 LIs are too many to equally divide time with, you end up spending very little with each.

Now, I don’t want to sound like an ass, the game has these few problems that I think could be easily addressed, but it has also lots of potential. 

I loved the previous art but I think they are finding their dimension with these new artists, the first look at the new sprites got me excited and the redraw of episode 6 illustrations and the one from episode 7 are really promising. I think they are all moving in the right direction.

Also, the main reason I play this game is neither the plot nor the art, but the writing. I LOVE how each charater is so different and well-characterised and just the way they talk to each other. The dialogues are funny and engaging and even scholar who is supposed to be a blank canvas, is actually a really cool and smart character and a pleasure to identify with.

So, here is the list of my favourite moments of the episode (which I’ve played twice so far, on Axel and Tegan’s routes):

Cheeky Tyler:

Tyler don’t make me fall for you! I already like your new sprite waaaay too much. Also, I’m already playing 4 routes, I can’t add a fifth!

Savage scholar:

The dude deserved it.

Flirty Raquel:

👀👀👀 So much sass... I love this girl!

Axel plagiarizing John Legend:

😂😂😂 babe this song already exists, changing a few words is not enough 😂

Scary Ellie:

This girl would be able to stab you with her trusty screwdriver while still sweetly smiling at you. ROLE MODEL.

Holding Alistair’s hands:

You too Alistar... stop acting so swoony, I can’t play anymore routes!

Now, the piece the resistance. What I really loved about this episode, is seeing how the writing changes according to the route you’re on. I love looking for all the little differences and, since I really love this game’s writing, I had a blast during the couple of minutes we got to spend with our crush.

As I said, I played only Axel’s and Tegan’s routes so far (I also play Tadashi’s and Karolina’s but I’m a few episodes behind).

Axel’s scene in the garden is to fall for. First of all, when you correctly guess that he has issues with his family, he simply tells you that he doesn’t have time to talk about it now if you’re not on his route. But if you have high infinity meter he also acts bashful and cute

I LOVE the fact that when he gets embarrassed and shy he also looks mad ❤, it almost seems like he can’t fathom why he’s feeling like this. Too cute! I hope this is going to be preserved in the new sprites.

And then, afterwards, when he complains he has to write a love song (makes me wonder what he’s written about so far) and doesn’t know how, he decide he’s going to look for some couples around the school to stalk/interrogate. But if you have high meter he basically serenades you 💕💕 I’M DEAD! Looks at scholar in the eyes and just starts creating the song on the spot.

I wonder how aware he is about his own feelings. What I would give for a change in POV!

Now... Tegan... my sweet dork... he’s such a sweetheart.

You meet him in the corridor, he’s in a rush and you apologise for being in his way. If you’re not on his route, he simply tells you that he can spare you a few moments. If you have a high meter instead, this is what happens:

Also, when you afterwards tell him that he is also a great friend, if you have low meter he simply thanks you and leaves. If you have high meter, scholar adds that he is kinda jealous of his friends and he gets flustered.

What do I have to do to smooch this cute stupid genius? If scholar doesn’t literally jump on him I bet he’s never going to make a move.

Anyway, these are all my thoughts about the episode. As I said, I have a few issues, but there’s also lots I liked. I trust the team and I’m sure the’re going to do great things in the future.