#it was probably a spider or something. we don’t have a lot of poisonous ones here

[pwurrz]

pfft i don’t need to go to the hospital i’ll be fine guys it’s fine!!!!!

[mxelliott]

maybe i’m just in a weird mood but i can’t stop thinking about how disabled people are a lot like superheroes. not in the way you’re probably thinking of, though. let me explain.

i fucking love spider-man, and iron man, and i’m an absolute nerd when it comes to shit like odd biology or psychology with characters like them. i’ve seen my fair share of movies and read enough books, wikis, and fics to feel close to the characters, and i can say for certain if we’re looking at a lot of them scientifically, it’s not far off to say that most superheroes can be categorized by either having an impairing mental illness or disability that heavily effects their day to day lives.

i’ll be using several Marvel characters as examples, since i’m most comfortable/knowledgeable about them.

we can start with the most obvious people, such as Colonel Rhodes, Clint Barton, Sargent Barnes, and Stephen Strange, who are paralyzed, hard of hearing, an amputee, and have nerve damage/severe hand tremors respectively. our next biggest candidates are Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Steven Rogers, Natalia Romanoff, and Bruce Banner/Hulk. in the odd category we have Thor, Wanda & Pietro Maximoff, Loki, and Vision.

Rhodes, Barton, Barnes, and Strange don’t need much of an explanation. they each either were caught in an accident, on the job, captured/experimented on, or a mixture of one or more. they got help of varying degrees for themselves to heal and recover to continue living.

Rhodes won’t ever not be paralyzed from the waist down. Barton will never get his hearing back. Barnes can’t regrow his arm. Strange may be able to use magic to help his tremors, but he chose not to. he will never be able to take back the events leading to his accident.

Stark, Bruce, and Rogers need a bit more of an explanation, but not by much of a wide margin. Stark has heart issues thanks to the shrapnel and the Arc Reactors. Bruce will never be able to go back to before the accident that turned him into the Hulk. He can be one or the other, but his brain and body are no longer his own. Rogers went from being in a constant state of sickness and disability to being “cured” and ultimately turned into something inhuman and weird beyond humanity’s own natural abilities.

piggybacking off that, Natalia was trained in brutal conditions to do inhuman stunts. she’s permanently traumatized and most likely won’t ever recover to being “normal” or “average” in the eyes of society.

disregarding the blatant oddness of Thor, Loki, Vision (a literal humanoid AI), and the slightly unexplainable whatever that went down with the Maximoffs (and because they are also semi-self explanatory in their own way, being enhanced) we’re going to move on to Peter Parker.

Peter is a bit of a wild card in this to me, both because he has three movie incarnations across three franchises respectively, but also because unlike the other superheroes, he’s not an old adult just yet. he’s what i see as the real kicker here.

trauma out the ass after losing his parents, his uncle, his aunt (NWH), and being erased from the universe (NWH), he is severely at risk for or has had some version of depression, anxiety, and suicide. top that all off with getting hollywood-hand wavey spider radiation poisoning and changing on a base level (his dna), he’s about as fucked as Rogers, Barnes, and Stark, or more so.

this is already long as shit and you’re probably wondering “i know all this, its not news. what does this have to do with your average disabled person?”. let me tell you.

none of these characters will ever/have ever been your version of socially acceptable or normal in almost any modern age. i’m willing to bet that even with my limited knowledge on psychological and physical disabilities, if any of you fucknut bitchfishs saw these characters outside the movies in real life as normal, every day civilians, you’d probably either act disgusted over their existence or disregard them entirely as if they never existed in the first place.

it probably took months of stress and depression and hard work with no real end in sight for any of these characters to get better at what the world thinks would be an acceptable level. they may have saved the world or they may have only been a small part of something, but that’s the goddamn point here. it doesn’t matter how it happened or if they were born with it, it just is, and apparently that’s much too hard for people to grasp these days.

Rhodey owns a wheelchair. Barnes goes without his arm some days. Rogers (as far as anyone knows) is basically a human-turned alien; abnormal. Strange can’t properly write his signature like he used to. Barton takes off his hearing aids when he pleases and uses ASL. Peter is a teenager with crippling PTSD and some unfulfilled physical needs, living on the lower end of financial security while still developing and trying to maintain his metabolism.

it’s already past midnight while i’m writing this and all i can think of is the fact we parade around disabled and ill people on the big screens as heroes and role models, yet i’ve never seen our world grow to accommodate people like them. instead we cut off or significantly reduce the positive impacts of the barely even mediocre safety nets the government has in place to assist them.

i’m not saying people with disabilities are superheroes, but i am saying superheroes are people with disabilities and often severe illnesses of many varieties.

you don’t value them as people, only idols. you’re the problem clownpiss. fuck yourself.

[zabala0z]

Okay so, I just finished MAG 100 (Wild guys holy shit) and I saw the next ep is like 50 minutes long??? (EDIT: okay I was wrong so ignore that) So I’m gonna post my 4 episode thoughts now since whatever MAG 101 is gonna be, it’s gonna make me have a lot of thoughts:

MAG 97: We All Ignore the Pit

Okay, so, there’s a lot here that I didn’t realize at first glance. Who the hell was that old man??? My first thought was Simon Fairchild because he said “nothing for you down there. You just go and enjoy your sky” but then he like spat mud and that’s something Simon had never done before, not even like a hint of dirt shit. He also was described as mean and Simon, from all the statements, was a pretty chill guy?? Like he was friendly, amiable, etc. so I don’t think this is Simon.

Who was the old woman and the blue eyed guy? I thought it was Gertrude since she would be alive around this time. Wait hold on I just thought of something. Like I’m writing and I just thought “man what other old woman is there??” Fucking Mary Keay. Could be. And the boy could’ve been Gerard or something. Or maybe I’m overthinking. I think I am. God.

ALSO NIKOLA??? WTF BRO. The fact she was like “yeah I stole this voice box” implied to me that she strangled the boss in Drawing a blank for it 😭😭 poor Jon, he keeps getting kicked around. Also creepy ass voice. Jesus.

I’m wondering how Gregor is her dad. Like I don’t think she met blood related, right? And how did she end up in the department store. Like duh it was the delivery service but what led there??

MAG 98: Lights out

Maxwell Rayner strikes again. Douchebag. Another darkness theme. Not much else to say but Melanie trying to poison Elias? Respect.

MAG 99: Dust to Dust

MICHAEL. MICHAEL WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE??

Guys you have no idea the scream I let out when Gertrude said his name. Like genuinely, this is like top 5 most crazy moments for me which is probably gonna get trumped in like 3 episodes but still holy shit. Like. I was fully hyperventilating.

Michael was Gertrude’s assistant. Like he was a human. I figured he was one but him being an ASSISTANT at the institute was not a thing that crossed my mind. How did The Spiral get him? Or did he go to The Spiral??

The Buried. Fun name. So I’m guessing it’s deal looking back is claustrophobia, dirt, earth, etc. gotta keep track of that. Now all the names entities we know of are up to 7! Funsies. Congratulations to Jon on getting kidnapped. We’re now adding to his trauma.

MAG 100: I Guess You Had To Be There

I’m dying of laughter what was this. Okay so every statement, while disjointed and not very said well, is important. The girl who saw a ghost on fire?? Well could be related to The Desolation. Y’know. Fire. The guy who lost his friend in the subway station, The Buried, I think. The guy who got lost in a maze and then just left because he was late? By the way, funniest thing ever like what the hell. Anyways that’s The Spiral and the guy with the spiders, I still have no idea. It’ll have a name soon.

ALSO PETER LUKAS. LUKAS. DUDE. The way how he says stuff, how cheerful he sounds, reminds me of Mike Crew? I don’t know if the Lukas family is also related to The Vast but the experiences sounds vaguely similiar enough.

Poor Brian. Bros now gonna be lost like forever 💀 okay so I think that’s everything. I see there’s a lot of parts coming up so anyone who wants to see me melt from lore won’t have to wait too long!

[suckitsurveys]

When did you last drink coffee? I’m drinking ice coffee right now.

When did you last cry? And why, if you feel like sharing. I have been dealing with mental health shit.

What was the last beach you visited and when? I haven’t been to the beach yet this year, so I think the last one I went to was Ogunquit beach in Maine last September.

What book do you plan to read next? Part of me wants to read Annamarie Tendler (Mulaney’s ex wife)’s book and another part of me just doesn’t care.

What fictional character/s remind you of yourself? Daria, Princess Carolyn, Louise Belcher, Liz Lemon.

What’s in your fridge right now? List as many things as you can think of. Strawberries, lots of cheese, coffee creamer, EveryPlate ingredients, sauces, sparkling water (my newest obsession), sour cream, a britta water pitcher.

If you could have any artist, living or dead, paint your portrait, who would it be? No idea.

Do you smell anything in particular right now? My coffee breath lol.

Do you make enough money to live comfortably? [can be in combination with a spouse] Sure.

What is one thing you like about your appearance? Don’t say nothing! I like my facial features and my hair when it’s dyed.

What would you like to tell your father? I need to talk to him about a health concern but the timing hasn’t been right.

What would you like to tell your mother? I mean, anything. She’d been dead for 11 years (literally to the day) so, getting to talk to her at all again would be great.

Whose was the last wedding you went to? My own.

What is your greatest fear? Having my fears used against me.

What is a chronic health issue you deal with, even if it’s minor? Blah.

What was your college major? If applicable. Communications.

What new place have you been to recently? New Orleans.

What are you a geek about? TV shows and actors on TV shows.

What is something you have no patience for? I mean, I am pretty patient in general but I have my moments.

What celebrity would you want to go out for a meal/drinks with? Michael Longfellow. Or anyone from the SNL cast really. Or all of them at once lol.

Are you happy with your weight? Nope.

When did you last hold a baby, if ever? Whose? My nieces’ cousin Zoe on their dad’s side a couple years ago.

How many cats do you have? Three.

How many dogs do you have? Zero.

How many other pets do you have? None.

How old were you when you got your driver’s license? 20.

What year did you graduate high school? 2007.

What is the first number of your zip code? 6

How many of your grandparents are still alive? None.

What is your favorite number? 24.

How many kids do you want? Zero.

How many apartments have you lived in? We lived in one until I was 4 and now I currently live in one with my husband.

What age do people say you look? People think I am younger than I am.

Do you feel like your family accepts you for who you are? Yeah.

Do you feel like your friends accept you for who you are? Yes.

Who is the best doctor you’ve ever had? I don’t know.

Have you ever been flipped off by a random stranger? Probably.

Do you have a lot of people blocked on Facebook? I don’t remember, probably a small handful.  

Do you consider yourself spiritual? Yes

Do you consider yourself religious? Nope.

Are you afraid of spiders? Not really. I don’t enjoy being in their presence but I am not scared of them. They are lil babies.

Are you afraid of snakes? I don’t have a reason to be actively afraid of them. If I was near a poisonous one that would be a different story, but it’s not on my mind 24/7.

Does everyone in your family know your sexual orientation? I barely know my sexual orientation bro.

What is one thing you find offensive? Using slurs.

Do you often post about politics on social media? Rarely.

Would you ever want to go back to school? Nope.

What are three things you are naturally good at? Organizing, planning, and whatever else goes along with that.

What are three things you are NOT naturally good at? Everything else.

Is your dream to get married and have kids? I am married.

Where do you hang your towel to dry after showering? On a hook.

If you were the opposite sex, how would you style your hair? No idea.

Last person you hugged? My husband.

How is the weather right now? In the 70Fs.

Are you missing someone? Yes.

What is the wallpaper on your cell phone? A picture of Longfellow as my lock screen and my home screen is just some purple heart design.

What do you have handy at your bedside? Water, my phone, my glasses, meds, tissues.

What is your dad’s middle name? –

What is your mom’s middle name? __

First thing you’ll save in a fire? My cats.

[blog-by-kij]

If anyone wonders why I’ve got into writing this whole thing, it’s because this post and also that specific tag inspired me so…enjoy :)

For me, it’s the fact that so many people are so god awfully excessive with their pesticides. If it should ever be used, it should be for a real reason, it should be thought of carefully, the possible consequences should be considered, and it should be the last measure taken where all others have failed—and it should be used correctly.

People whine up and down social media all day about endangered animal this, habitat loss that—you could help fix some of that your goddam self on your own property/habitat if you stop drenching everything in poison for no reason.

Even these manufacturers say you shouldn’t use more than necessary or you might even poison yourself—and yet. That doesn’t stop people from spraying their whole house with insecticide and their yard with both insecticide and herbicide, for what is literally no reason. They don’t have infestations, they don’t have reasons, they don’t think about it, they have an ugly monoculture lawn with barely any weeds in them to begin with, and they continue to do this because what? There’s still too many bugs and weeds? To “prevent” bugs and weeds? Because they bother you? These people barely have any life in their yards and they’re still bothered by the idea that they could have them. They sterilize their white box and then sterilize their monoculture bullshit lawns and then have the nerve to still be bothered by the life that still persists.

I would encourage people who currently use pesticides excessively or thoughtlessly to just think about it. Have you read the entire label, actually read it? Try at least to use it for a reason other than “I don’t like those bugs”, or use it less, or not use it at all for a year. Don’t use it outside your house, then don’t use it inside your house. Just see what happens, it probably won’t be as bad as you think.

My family have not used pesticides for many years now. My dad would spray around the outside and inside yearly at our old house. But then what happened was, at our new house, my dad didn’t know what these things were on all the plants in the yard. He thought they were eating the plants: so he sprayed all of them. Later we learned that they were ladybug larva, and them being there probably meant that they were eating something that apparently wasn’t noticeable. It’s unfortunate that what was noticed and what was decided without knowledge to be a pest was actually the solution to “pests” that weren’t noticed. That one instance was devastating to the ladybug population on our property. It probably also succeeded in killing whatever “pests” were there too, but it was not a good example of correct pesticide use and it was not worth it in the end.

Ever since then, slowly, I’ve convinced them to stop using pesticides like that, and eventually to stop using them at all. I’ve spent a lot of time learning more about bugs/insects and more recently I’ve also spent a lot of time planting plants that are native to my location.

I promise you that what has happened is not an infestation of pests but an increase and strengthening of the ecosystem around my house. The ladybugs (which included some of the native ones) steadily, though slowly, reappeared. There are more bees and butterflies around me and yes, there are more spiders, centipedes, and other things that don’t seem to win popularity contests. Not only are there more, there is more diversity among them: more variety. My peach trees had aphids last year: not a pest for me, but a pest for my trees. I didn’t nuke them and everything around it. I did nothing and let the ladybugs eat all of them and they did, fairly quickly too, because now, after years, they were there at all and enough to do so. My trees didn’t die, I didn’t die, and the ladybugs didn’t die. I guess the aphids did, but…that is part of life, and it’s important to me that life happened and nothing was killed with a persistent poison that gets in the air and soil and isn’t controllable and can’t tell the difference between aphid and everything else. Even if the ladybugs hadn’t eaten the aphids, the next option would still not have been pesticide. It would’ve been to just wash the tree off with a water jet from the hose. I don’t know exactly what my neighbors are doing with their yards and houses, but at least I know that mine is the safest one for those ladybugs that come and go as their food comes and goes. When I see their eggs, and I’ve seen more in the last few years than before, I know they won’t be poisoned here, not at any stage their life. My yard being pesticide free makes it safe for all bugs and insects, and I know I can’t pick and choose—and I don’t want or need to.

Not using pesticides does mean that you will see more “pests”, but I don’t think that’s inherently a bad thing, and it also means that you’ll see more of their natural predators too, which is likewise not inherently bad. This is of course with the understanding that I use the term “pest” to mean, actually a pest like those aphids, and not “every ant and spider ever” or “things that I think are creepy”. But even though those aphids were pests upon my tree, I don’t hate or dislike them at all, I think they’re interesting. But even if I did hate them, they are part of the world regardless of how I feel about them anyway. If you feel differently, ok. But do know that things continuing to exist isn’t actually a personal affront to your feelings about them, and they still get to be part of the world anyway.

I also understand that if you’re a fucker with a monoculture lawn you may think what I said was contradictory: if you stop using pesticides, you probably won’t be infested, but also you will see an increase in insects around you. It isn’t contradictory because infestation means something specific, and if you think merely seeing more life around you is an infestation, that’s your own personal hang-up. My peach trees could’ve been considered to be infested with aphids, but that problem resolved itself so it isn’t infested anymore:

1. Increase and abundance is not inherently infestation,

2. not every infestation is inherently a permanent problem, and

3. not every problem requires the most immediate and severe action possible.

I understand that sterility serves a necessary purpose in some situations; and so do pesticides. And it’s also important to maintain some amount of cleanliness for your health (which pesticides don’t necessarily help with btw). But, what’s the difference between your house and the world? One minute you want your house and property sterile, the next minute everyone does, and then its the whole world. For what? One minute you post lip service to endangered species, the next minute you spray your house perimeter so you don’t have to see bugs, and then everyone does it because you were so satisfied with the results of the pesticide product, and now for various reasons the bee population is declining globally. Don’t cry endangered animals this, or deforestation that, when you deforested your own home and endangered the insects all around you. Don’t cry dying ocean this or save the bees that, when you killed your own soil and won’t save the wasps.

No more sterile white boxes.

[minecraft]

Potions Overview

Sugar/Swiftness - While I think that potions of swiftness also contain high amounts of sugar, it seems likely that caffeine - or some other stimulant substance would be the resultant chemical produced by netherwart. However the potion produced remains the same color as water, blue. Due to this I think that swiftness potions probably taste like blue Powerade, since it has a very similar mouthfeel to water. Slowness - Tastes like root beer, but in an objectively bad way. Probably contains alcohol and sedatives. Drinking this is bad but it won't kill you.

Rabbit's Foot/Leaping - Probably something that increases muscle performance and elasticity. I'm guessing a mix between whey protein and creatine. On a meta level though, the drink is green and it improves jumping… and you know who else loves jumping around a lot? gamers. and the "notorious green gamer drink" is mtn dew, therefore Leaping potions probably taste a bit like a subtly creamy milk-punch version of mountain dew.

Glistering Melon/Healing - Hmm. most likely extra vitamins and minerals. Although it would be easy to say the flavor is watermelon it's watermelon that has been magically combined with gold… I want to say it would taste like raspberry-watermelon with maybe a bit of a hint of jackfruit. the consistency is likely that somewhere between cough syrup and juice. Harming - Methyl alcohol and Acid. Strangely, smells like grape juice, tastes like spoiled wine and pain. Don't drink.

Spider Eye/Poison - Cyanide, like nuts/almond. Probably a bit of a seafoodish vibe going on too since it comes from giant spider eyes. like that one sushi that can kill you if not prepared right. However it also probably has an overall denser consistency, so it would be a bit like milkshake. Don't drink.

Ghast Tear/Regeneration - Regeneration is about FAST healing and it's likely the body activating itself to heal itself as fast as possible rather than providing an external nutrient. So I'd have to guess this potion contains adrenaline and general-purpose pheromones. (this also kinda comes across in a gender-y way because it's purple?) Because of this, this potion would be perfumey in nature and likely slightly alcoholic like Kombucha tea. The flavor/aroma would probably be like that of blueberries and cherries, with hints of salt, honey, and cashews. Magma Cream/Fire Resistance - Overall, due to the slime used to make this potion, it would have a definite stickiness to it. Due to crafting lore we can likely assume that slime acts biologically upon blaze powder somehow, probably oxidizing it and drawing out metallic content so magma slimes have hard but flexible metal shells. Obviously there is some sort of phosphorus in this potion, but there is also a very metallic tang to it as well as a mushroom-ish sweetness from biologically altered slime. I would say that this potion most likely tastes like energy drink mixed with Lemonade and charcoal, but overall an unpleasant taste. This isn't the kind of potion you drink unless you have a good reason. Pufferfish/Water Breathing - This obviously contains some sort of weird exotic gas-exchange/capture molecules or oxygenated liquid. Tastes like pufferfish/seafood but in a objectively pleasant way, so even if you dislike the taste of fish you'd still like drinking this. This potion is extremely bubbly but has no other textural qualities other than being like water. Golden Carrot/Night Vision - Vitamin A but also likely exotic light amplification/psychoactive substances. Due to the slightly hallucinogenic nature of the chemical composition of night vision potion, it has a scent similar to disinfectant alcohol or wet nail polish, but taste-wise, it is sweet but earthy carrot/orange taste, perhaps similar to Hi-C. Despite being fully liquid, drinking it probably feels slightly "gritty" in the same way that drinking chocolate milk does. Invisibility tastes the same, but more "burnt" or caramel, and with a much stronger chemical smell, which is unique in a sense because it's hard to determine where this smell comes from when blindfolded. Turtle Shell - Calcium, Iron, and Zinc along with extra vitamins probably. The taste would be similar to coconut milk mixed with acai berries and lime juice. Maybe a hint of pineapple. A rather overpowering tropical combination. Phantom membrane/Slow Falling - I won't get into the chemical part of this but I just know it's similar to Night Vision in that it smells like nail polish. However, it tastes like fried bacon and calamari. There is definitely a grittiness in the aftertaste that can only be described as "like toenails". Weakness - smells like rotting flesh, tastes like mold mixed with whip cream.

[robininthelabyrinth]

I'd like to see more of the Jiang Cheng has spider venom fic. Mostly because I want to see him bite someone else. How about a Jin?

Normal For the Spider - Extra: 5 People Jiang Cheng Bit, Some of Whom Deserved It

ao3

1 – Wei Wuxian

“So I’ve been exchanging letters with shijie on account of the whole theoretically banished business,” Wei Wuxian said as they strolled down the Qiongqi Path together, Wen Ning behind them making shy stuttering friends with the handful of Jiang sect disciples Jiang Cheng had brought along with him – he’d deliberately picked the friendliest and most social of the lot, the ones that acted like overgrown puppies and wanted to adopt everyone they met, and sure enough they’d mobbed Wen Ning like a bunch of crows intent on raising the poor little sparrow they found into a proper bird. It was no more than Wen Ning deserved, in Jiang Cheng’s opinion. Someone needed to socialize him, and clearly neither his sister nor Wei Wuxian were doing crap about it.

“That’s nice,” Jiang Cheng said. “If by nice you mean extremely suspicious. What about in particular?”

“Your family inheritance.”

“Is this about the summer house we have near that mountain lake? I told you, it’s been deserted for years and may possibly be haunted by something resistant to the usual liberation techniques, but if you really want to go there, you’re of course allowed…”

“That’s not the inheritance I meant and you know it.”

Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes. He did know it. “What questions do you have now?” he asked. “More medical stuff from Wen Qing?”

She’d recovered from the venom very well and immediately started wanting to know everything. Recovered a little too well, in Jiang Cheng’s opinion.

“No, this one’s for me,” Wei Wuxian said. “We’re going to Lanling City in order to let Jin Ling bite me as a way to establish familial ties and let him ‘absorb’ good aspects from my personality, right?”

Jiang Cheng nodded.

“So in some cases, biting is an act of affection?”

Jiang Cheng nodded, a little more warily.

“Then how come you’ve never bitten me?”

“It’s only affectionate when you’re a baby,” Jiang Cheng said. “Once you grow into your childhood venom, it starts being dangerous, even to family; you don’t do affection-bites after that point. And when you’re an adult…well, you saw Wen Qing!”

“Eh, she’s fine now,” Wei Wuxian said cheerfully. “I feel like I missed out! It’s not fair, Jiang Cheng. I deserve a bite! I’m practically your brother! We share essential bodily organs!”

“Wei Wuxian! Don’t talk about that!”

“Bite me and I’ll stop.”

“I’m not biting you just to make you stop being annoying –”

2 – Jin Zixun

“What are you doing here?!” Jiang Cheng demanded. “This is an ambush! Is the Jin sect considering waging an act of war against the Jiang sect?”

Jin Zixun scowled at him. “Not against the Jiang sect,” he said haughtily. “Against the Yiling Patriarch.”

“He’s my head disciple!”

That got a confused sort of frown. “But you banished him…?”

“Rumor,” Jiang Cheng said, with dignity, the way they’d always planned. “Baseless rumor, that’s all.”

Rumor he’d never denied, and had instead implicitly encouraged so that people would leave his Jiang sect alone for a little while as he gathered up strength and resources to tell them to fuck off.

“But…” Jin Zixun hesitated. “You just – attacked him?”

Jiang Cheng glared at Wei Wuxian, still lying prone on the ground with his head in Wen Ning’s lap to elevate it and his neck bandaged but still a little red – surely the paralytic had worn off by now?

Wei Wuxian noticed him staring and gave a jaunty little wave, grinning and very clearly regretting nothing, which meant that the paralytic had worn off and he was just lying there to be comfortable while watching the fun.

Typical.

“A friendly exchange,” he said, trying to maintain his dignity. “Also? Not the Jin sect’s business. What about you? What did you want with him?”

“I want him to remove the curse he cast on me,” Jin Zixun said, and he strode forward before Jiang Cheng could stop him and kicked Wei Wuxian in the side. “You hear me, you bastard?! I want the damn thing gone this instant or else –”

3 – Wen Ning

“So this is going to be a little awkward to explain,” Jin Zixuan said, rubbing his face. He looked tired, but that was possibly a side-effect of having Jin Zixun as a cousin. “Tell me, why are my cousin’s flunkies – er, I mean, my cousin’s friends convinced that it was Wen Ning that poisoned him?”

Jiang Cheng scowled.

“No offense meant,” Jin Zixuan added, nodding politely to Wen Ning. “It’s just, you know, you’re very much not a Yu, or even a Jiang.”

“No offense taken,” Wen Ning mumbled, though to Jiang Cheng’s eyes he looked a little pleased, even if his stiff wooden face still didn’t do emotions all that well. “It’s nice not to be automatically feared.”

“It’s because Wen Ning punched Jin Zixun in the face at the same moment that I bit him,” Jiang Cheng interjected, because someone needed to answer the actual question. “And then Jin Zixun fell over and someone started shouting about corpse poison – even though he’s obviously turned purple! Purple venom, purple spider, purple lightning…what part of this thematic color scheme is not obvious?!”

“Technically, the livor mortis spots generated by corpse poison are also purple,” Wei Wuxian said, completely unhelpfully. “According to Wen Qing, it’s the lack of oxygen in the blood pooling under the skin or something, which is the same thing your mom’s poison does.”

“Do you think you’re helping?” Jiang Cheng demanded.

“No, not at all. Did I sound like I was helping? I didn’t mean to.”

“I’m going to bite you again, you little…”

“My father isn’t going to want to let Wen Ning through the door if he’s considered a possible threat,” Jin Zixuan said, wisely deciding to carry on with the conversation despite their bickering. “You know he’s been saying all those things about how dangerous the Yiling Patriarch is – this’ll just feed into that.”

“I’m not going to Lanling City without Wen Ning!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed. “Wen Qing made me promise! It’s his first time visiting such a big place, too!”

“I’m pretty sure Wen Qing made you promise not to leave him behind because she was worried about your well-being, not Wen Ning’s ability to be a tourist,” Jiang Cheng said.

“Doesn’t matter! I’m not leaving him, and I’m definitely not going to not attend the party, so you have to fix this!”

“I don’t know how to fix this –”

Wen Ning coughed lightly. “Uh,” he said. “Jin-gongzi…would your father let me in if I wasn’t a threat? Say, if I was unconscious?”

A moment of silence.

“…does venom work even on fierce corpses?”

“Of course it does,” Jiang Cheng said irritably. “It wouldn’t be much of a defense mechanism for a cultivator if it didn’t.”

4 – Jin Guangshan

“I didn’t mean to!” Jiang Cheng said, his hands over his mouth. “I really didn’t mean to! It’s Wei Wuxian’s fault!”

“How is this my fault?!” Wei Wuxian asked. He looked amused, which was never a good sign, and even less so given the extreme crisis of the situation. “I wasn’t even in the room.”

“You encouraged me to keep biting people as a solution to everything!” Jiang Cheng hissed. “It got me in the mood. I wasn’t thinking!”

He looked down at the unconscious (and swiftly purpling) Jin Guangshan and grimaced. There was no convenient Wen Ning to put the blame on this time: it had been just the two of them, Jin Guangshan and Jiang Cheng, alone in a room together. Jin Guangshan had wanted to have words with him, sect leader to sect leader, which mostly meant that he wanted to throw his weight and seniority around to try to brow-beat Jiang Cheng into doing what he wanted, except that wasn’t going to work because Jiang Cheng was prepared, okay, he’d worked so long and so hard to try to build up the Jiang sect until it could resist Jin sect pressure.

And he’d probably just ruined everything.

“He has legitimate grounds to declare war against us now,” Jiang Cheng said miserably. “Or maybe to demand that we hand over that stupid Tiger Seal he keeps bugging you about as reparations, or in order to keep him from declaring war…”

“We can’t let him have it,” Wei Wuxian said at once. “It’s far too dangerous. I’d destroy it, first.”

“But then he’d still have a reason to strike against us…”

There was the soft sound of someone clearing their throat, and at first Jiang Cheng thought it was Wen Ning but when he looked up it was Jin Guangyao, instead. He looked the same as always, gentle and personable and smiling, which struck Jiang Cheng as being unaccountably weird for some reason that he couldn’t figure out until he remembered that the man’s father was currently lying on the ground being poisoned and maybe Jin Guangyao shouldn’t be smiling so much.

“If you don’t mind,” Jin Guangyao said, “I might have a suggestion that would get rid of that problem…”

5 – Wen Qing

“…and long story short, Jin Guangyao is going to run Lanling Jin until Jin Zixuan is done having kids, which may be never based on the soppy looks he and my shijie keep exchanging, and we all have the Jin sect’s blessing to move back into the Lotus Pier,” Wei Wuxian concluded. “All’s well that ends well, right, Jiang Cheng?”

Jiang Cheng crossed his arms and glared, admitting nothing.

“I’ll be happy to move anywhere that has decent food,” Wen Qing remarked. “This damn place won’t even grow radishes properly, and it’s Yiling; the radishes should be practically growing themselves.”

“I’ve arranged for some farmland for your people,” Jiang Cheng said, because practicalities he could do. “There’s still lots left over from before the war, lying fallow, and some of the places are medicinal herb fields – we need people with cultivation to tend to those, so I figured that might work for you. You’d have half regular farmland, to make sure you can grow whatever food you feel you need to be comfortable, and the other half, the herbs, can be sold to the Jiang sect at profit.”

“That sounds good,” Wen Qing said.

“Especially since they’re medicinal herb plants,” Wei Wuxian chimed in. “You could stock up on medicines you need!”

“A lot of medicines have to be obtained through trade, you utter nincompoop! I can’t make medicine just using what a single medicinal herb field will generate!”

Jiang Cheng nodded approvingly, thinking to himself that at least there was someone else in the world who understood exactly how aggravating it was to have to deal with Wei Wuxian’s unbridled and illogical optimism on a regular basis.

“And as for you,” Wen Qing said, turning to Jiang Cheng, who blinked owlishly at her. “Don’t think I missed the part of that story about how biting people is a sign of affection!”

“It’s – what?! No, you don’t – that’s when we’re children– it’s –”

Wei Wuxian started cackling.

[llllillin]

Chapter 1 Oh, Come On!

“It’s literally just a fursuit!”

“My powers are–”

“And my powers are spider powers, and you don’t see me running around with eight arms, too many eyes, and hairy legs!”

This conversation has been going on for way too long.

At least I’m having fun…

Wait, no you aren’t? This is horrible?

“What should I be wearing? Orange spandex and a ski-mask?” retorted the webbed-up menace to society.

“I don’t know, Wolf-Man, how about just not robbing a police station? Would save you money spent on fursuits.”

“I’m not Wolf-Man! I’m a fox and the name is Skulk.”

“How are you not— You bark!”

“Foxes bark!”

“Fine, Skulk-Man, you are a f—”

“I’m not a man!” there was something in Skulk’s voice that shot me straight through my heart.

Or maybe it was that phrase, specifically?

No, that definitely was a bad move on my side and I knew better. Guilt, is what you are feeling. Trans-spider-Guilt.

“Sorry, Skulk. Just Skulk. Skulk, the vulpine burglar.”

“What’s even your problem…”

“No problem! Absolutely no problem. You can go on a suicide mission to rob the pigs, and wear anything you want, really. Fox – perfect, actually. I’m just tired, okay? It hasn’t even been a week and I already have another villain who dresses like an animal.”

“I mean, you are a Spider-Woman.”

“Actually, it’s Scarlet Spider.”

“Hmm? Not Spider-Witch?”

“Yep, Scarlet. Like the color I’m wearing.”

It’s redwood.

But I’m not going to be like that. Nobody ever cares about the difference anyway. It’s red, and that’s good enough. Red, black, and blue. Ignore the webs.

Scarlet is too bright, and the saturation pops out basically even at night. Redwood has a subtlety about it. And it’s cozier. It still doesn’t make my get-up stealthy, but at least it’s not screaming to everyone “THE DAMN SPIDER IS HERE!”

“But most of your costume is black.”

“No! It’s less than half, actually, and it’s blue, not black.”

“That still means a lot of you isn’t Scarlet.”

“Okay, Skulk McFox. You win. I am giving up this costume and commissioning a fursuit artist for my next outfit.”

“Really? I can give you tips.”

“Thanks, but I don’t want tips from someone who just today tried to rob cops.”

“It’s not robbery, and I would have been fine.”

“A fine block of cheese, holed with bullets.”

“Okay! So? I’d’ve gotten shot, maybe. I knew I could die! I was prepared for it! But some things require sacrifices.”

“Why would you sacrifice your life for that? For getting weapons? In the U.S. of Arms?”

“No! You won’t get it. You are basically in bed with all of them.”

Damn, I almost had it. Why did you have to go for sarcasm, Scarlet?

I don’t know, Pat. The same reason you spent an hour grilling this robber on mask choices? Dumbass.

“I’ll probably get it. I dress up knowing my cool outfit will probably catch a bullet or two. I don’t think a single day can go by without me bleeding. So I just want to know: what are you ready to bleed for?”

Seeing their mask turn away from me brought back that heart ache. I might have not seen a human face in front of me, but I could get when I touched a bad nerve. But before I could start formulating an apology:

“Can you take my head off for a second?”

“I’ll do you one better, bud,” I attached one web to their shoulder and cut the line that was holding them upside down. Then gently onto the floor, and some torn spiderwebs later, they were able to take the mask off with their own two paws.

“This scar… Right where my hair begins… a bullet entered my head. It scraped part of the brain, we had to deal with some infections and poisoning, I think. In the end, I could survive it. But… it’s never been the same. The headaches won’t go away no matter what. Sometimes it gets too much to even… I don’t know. “And the gunshots, that we would hear all the time… they became scarier. Each one sticks around for longer. I can hear them ring in my head. Mom said I just need to man-up, and she paid for a shooting range, so I ‘get used to it easier’. It was cheaper than therapy. And I went and I shot and each time it was worse and worse. I went every day. After few weeks, people kept telling me how amazing my aim is, and all I could think about was the ringing.”

“I… I’m—” but I couldn’t get anything out.

“The worst part,” a gulp that was hard to stomach, “Just the worst… The bullet didn’t come from ‘them’. It wasn’t who mom called ‘scary people’, some gangs or whatever. It was the police. Shooting at me, because I was there, and they were waiting for ‘them’. I had headphones on, and I hid them behind a hoodie, so that was ‘my mistake’ for looking like that…”

I waited through silence, mostly because I wanted to find better words than what I wanted to say. And before any words came up: “We got some money, but it barely covered the costs of treatment. If I knew dad was going to… Ugh, nothing. How is this even happening? I just wanted peace…

“So I thought about what we could even do. How we could get by without dad, maybe even without mom. And I couldn’t think of anything.

“Until I found it. Someone threw out a gun, a replica. Just in a trash bin. I took it. I robbed a store with it. It was so awful. I knew it wouldn’t shoot, but that person didn't… So we had a lot of money. We could get by easier.

“That’s when I realized it. This needs to stop. The guns, I mean. I knew I could get by with a few more stores robbed, and that was just awful. I couldn’t live with myself knowing that what I really needed was… there… at the end of a gun. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself thinking like that. I thought I needed to buy a real gun ‘just in case’. I can’t accept that.

“I knew something had to be done about it. What could anyone do? I don’t even know who to convince to make this end. But I know one thing. The most guns that I know about are right there. In each police department, I mean. I don’t know about criminals. But I can find the police, easily. That is good of a start as any. At least I wasn’t sitting scared in our home any more.”

Hmmm…

Somehow, I thought it would get easier to find something to say as it went on. But I was wrong. Super-wrong Super-hero. It only got harder to approach this.

And, I mean… Can’t exactly call it a serious crime, can I? I might have a soft spot for altruistic villains, but this is something else. I guess I agree with them?

I hate cops, of course. That is the one thing I couldn’t stand around other Spideys. They all keep working with the pigs! I asked everyone, and they all kind of just let the police “do their work”. One of them straight up just has a gun! It felt like I accidentally joined a police department that happens to have a really weird dress-code.

But that’s alright. They do what they know they can do the best. And their best just… happens to involve working with coppers. I also… cop a lot. I am not guilt-less. I am holding this traumatized furry hostage and interrogating their choice of attire.

Not the point, sorry. The point is: There are so many guns. So many guns that I ran out of quips that involve disarming people. And I noticed that most people I disarm are either not dressed in their fanciest, or they are the cops. And it’s mostly the cops. Even when they aren’t shooting at me! Half the time I save the people trying to shoot me from getting shot. That’s my job’s safety hazard.

I couldn’t just try to tell this fox that actually they should let people amass guns. Half of what I do is confiscating guns and throwing them out. I learnt how to disassemble so many weapons just so I can make sure that people only find scraps of them.

“You don’t get it, do you? I’m just insane. Criminally insane.”

“No! Don’t say that. Especially not that. Please, you are… painfully right. I wish I could actually just… I don’t know. I also don’t know. I have no clue what I do. And… I guess you are trying your best?”

What the hell are you saying. At this point you might just take them out for a pizza and you’ll do a better job.

Okay, okay. Some more forethought, just a second of thinking… or a minute.

“You shouldn’t have to be scared. And nobody should feel like their ends can only be gotten at gunpoint. But if there is one thing I know for sure already, it’s that we need you to be around. We need more people like you. You don’t need to be alone, and definitely not be putting yourself in this danger. At the very least not alone.

“You might not be able to get a job; I don’t have one either. But there is ways to survive that. And there is ways to survive the hurt that this world gives everyone. Not by trying to take some guns away. Nobody really wants them to be around.

“Hell, I don’t even want punches to be around, and look at me. And look at me… No matter how many I punch, there’s barely any less punching. Even if I web people up, there’s always more that comes my way. This, this is all kinda useless. Keeps me busy at best.

“But I know you have a better power. You wouldn’t get this far without it. You have the power to stick around and be heard,” I paused to pick up Skulk’s mask. I want to say for the dramatic effect, but I’ll be honest… I really needed more time to think about what to say. And so, as I put it on for them:

“You have the power, Skulk, to live and see others who just want to live. There will be more and more people like you. And the more there are, the easier it will be for you to take actions and keep each other safe. Even if safety means danger, it’s danger you don’t take alone.

“Your first step doesn’t need to be storming a station. Your first step can build trust in the good of people. And no matter how dark it got for you…” I took off my goggles. This time, that was dramatic effect. “You already remind me of the good in people, bud. You work real well, I promise you.”

They were looking into my eyes. I knew they were. Spidey-voyance, you know.

But I don’t do tearful silences well, so: “Do you eat spinach? Broccoli?”

“Hmm? I… yes?”

“Great, wait here a minute. Or maybe ten, but only if you really want to.”

Fifteen minutes later…

“Here you are! Glad you stuck with me, Skulk,” I said and opened the box full of bread, sauce, and whole lot of piping-hot spinach and broccoli.

Don’t ask where I get those from, in the middle of the night, New York. Trade secret. Spider-Secret.

Spider-Witch: Return Of Red & Black Spiders

Cover art by @cosmignon-art

Foreword Spider-verse Is Scary-verse

There’s a horrifying bit to experiencing the Spider-verse. Everybody experiences it. There’s just a very obvious realization that some things seem to be less common in this infinity of possibilities.

There’s quite a few of Peter Parkers out there. Some Peters have acquaintances who one way or another became Spideys too, at least for some while. There are even Peter Parker clones. Not a clone of a Peter Parker. There just happens to be multiple times that Peter Parker got cloned, and that became another man Spidey. Other more common Spider-men either had a Peter Parker in their time-line at some point, or are very special cases from another era. And usually, those are Spider-Men. Or, Spider-Male-Pigs.

Spider-Women rarely come before a Spider-Peter of their universe. Unless, of course, you are Gwendoline Stacy. A Gwen who managed to survive some kind of Spider-Man-related tragedy, and who is likely someone who saw her own Peter Parker die. And they all usually have the most amazing costumes out of anyone. Like, how? How is it them specifically that just happen to design the coolest ones, huh? I was so proud of mine when I finally found the one design that stuck. And then it’s, like, whatever the others have, but with flourish and a pointy cap.

Anyways…

There are other Spider-Women, and Spider-Girls. A lot of them are daughters of Peter Parker, so that’s interesting. That won’t happen in my universe, though.

Oh, and Peni Parkers. I only saw one Peni, but there are multiple, I guess? Usually just a girl in a big robot. Pretty cool. Makes me wish I was born a Peni. For the robot, of course.

For real, those robots are just amazing. Almost makes me want to learn robotics. I asked Peni how it could even work, and the answer I got was very short and dumbed down and went completely over my head.

As far as I know there are very few Spideys like me. Or, at least quite like me. Which is where the identity horrors really kick in. One way or another, most of us know about a Peter Parker. And then a lot of us are exposed to Spider-Peters, and one way or another, at the back of our head, there is the question: are Peter Parkers the realest Spideys? Am I… fake? A twist of fate for the lesser universes?

Hell, how am I different from Peter Bucking Porker? I got myself a pair of breasts and do pagan magic. That’s not really different from Spider-Ham as much as it is different from Peter B. Parker, Spider-Man, father of Spider-Girl. I’m in the camp of Spider-Gwens, Spider-Brits, Spider-Detectives with a fedora and a damn gun.

And… here comes my “but”. My annoyingly flat “but”.

My name is Patty Péne. And I am not Spider-Woman, or Spider-Girl. I get called the Spider-Witch.

For Spider-verse purposes, my short moniker is Spider-Femme. But not a single one of them know that I am the one and only: Spider-trans. I think? They probably have an idea. Probably understand that I am Spider-Witch, too.

There are some things you might already know. I’m an orphan, raised by Ben and Aunt May. Ben died. I still feel like it’s my fault. I worked at Daily Bugle for a while, while working part-time delivering pizzas, and trying desperately to get through college. I could blame my failure of the last bit on having two jobs, but I wasn’t stupid and I spent the least amount of work for the Daily Bull, and used delivery time on audio studying.

My arch nemeseis includes a lizard man, an octopus nerd, a rhinoceros, a scorpion, a vulture, a cat burglar, and I swear some people who aren’t animals. There are goblins flying around. A guy who’s just a bunch of sand. Or the guy who is a bunch of electricity. That still doesn’t sound better, does it?

Oh, I beat up a head of mafia recently. That’s not that bad, right?

But here is the kicker. I was never bit by a radioactive spider. I didn’t tell that to other Spideys out of fear, because the reality makes me the odd one out, I fear.

I sort of, kind of, incidentally turned myself into a wall-crawling superhero because I… cursed myself? I usually think of it as a deal with the devil, but I’m sure there is some science-y explanation to what happened to me that one of the Spider-Heads would explain to me.

Long story short, I was doing black magic. It worked out, kind of. And next thing I knew, I had super-human strength and sticky hands.

Short story long: I was at my absolute bottom. It was supposed to be my life’s new beginning, but instead it felt like the end.

Sorry, that sounds like you should pity me. That’s not right.

I did what I usually do when I feel like the end is coming, and I got lost in the occult. I tried a ritual which I always feared even attempting. I tried to curse the world. For it to burn, so I may get the chance to rise from the ashes. I tried to gain unimaginable powers to crush whoever I needed, for any price I could pay.

My mind was lost during the ritual. That was mostly the point. I never believed magic to do anything concretely. It was an escape. It was a way to help me let out steam and regain focus. But when I left that dark trip, I woke up… changed.

My skin was red, smooth, and sinewy. My teeth were sharp. And there were so many teeth. My stiletto nails became hard needles. My eyes, too, so sharp. Smooth, silkey, and pure white. And so many eyes. So many.

I also had breasts. That was nice. Always a silver lining.

It was intoxicating. The power of it. Right away, I understood: this is the manifestations of my desires. I sold my body to The Spider, after all. It worked.

It was horrifying. I went with the whims for a short while… a short while too long — and already my self, deep inside, realized this wasn’t okay.

No, it wasn’t horrifying. I was the horror. My body became horror in the eyes of people I wanted a petty revenge on. And then became a horror to the eyes of the ones that needed a better world. Horror in the eyes of the whole world. None of it was worth it. I might not have had a clear mind, but the memories of his horrified face… her horrified face… and their horrified face…

I can’t talk about it anymore. I can’t let the memory clear up this much, sorry.

Okay, the story is maybe too long to say in its entirety. The important parts are that I got better. No more horrifying tendrils and deadly jaws. Two pairs of eye-balls. And instead, I got a whole lot of magic. It is still in there, the curse. I know it won’t ever go away. And that is okay. It’s just a part of me that I always knew well. And it’s a part of me that I always wanted to hide. That was my mistake. I am the Scarlet Spider. And the scarlet part of me deserved to be part of me, of most people out there. You don’t make it go away. You help it become the best part of yourself that it can. Just like you want all your other parts to be the best. That’s how we become good people. That’s our responsibility.

Oh, and I also talk to spiders now.

Not literally. Spiders don’t talk. No human words. I am not delusional. Please, I swear.

And clairvoyance. Others call it Spidey Sense, but others don’t also intuitively feel another’s emotional state, or feel wounds they don’t have yet.

So yeah. That’s how I became your friendly neighborhood witch. I’ll beat up bad guys and save your cat. And I won’t cook it. Please. I am vegan.

It’s been a wild ride, the Spider Army adventures. It felt like centuries went by, but it was only a few days. Weeks? Hard to say, since I barely slept. To make it worse, in my dimension, I was gone for only a few hours.

Time went by, and even with inter-dimensional messaging, it soon felt like a distant past. A memory that would feel unreal, if it wasn’t for my usual memories involving powerful men in animal suits.

And speaking of animal suits…

[a-non-ymouswriter]

So i was having some shower thoughts (as you do) and i started thinking about Stream Labs (as you do) and i just had a 30 minute debate with myself about Stream Labs world building. Because, like, both here and in-universe Stream Labs is seen as a mix of fantasy and science fiction so i started wondering about how exactly both of these things influence their world and i realized that we’re cataloguing the wrong things as magic.

Thinking about it taking into account that the Stream Labs world is as real as the one the streamers live in, so many things classified as fantasy by us don’t really count as such in their world. As a viewer its really easy to look at any of the non human characters, scream “MAGIC” and call it a day but within their world those are just normal people that happen to be a different species.

Take George for example, his “magic” allows him to suck in the poison without hurting himself but that’s not magic, that’s just his biology. If I had to guess, his species probably evolved in an environment with a lot of toxins in the air and they had to adapt and develop that resistance to substances through millions of years.

Potions sound magical and cool because they do things that cant be done in our world so it’s obviously “magic”. But what is potion making if not a glorified chemistry experiment. The difference here is that they have ingredients that dont exist in the streamers world so its not possible to make them there. But nether wart, ghast tears, spider eyes, all of those are objects and plants that are found within their environment. Potion making in the Stream Labs world has more in common to lab experiments than to whatever happens in a witch’s hut in some fairy tale (*looks meaningfully at the scene of Tubbo brewing potions in his lab rather than the magic room*).

I think that so far, the most blatant example of actual magic we’ve seen is the enchanting table. Almost everything else could be explained through science logic that works in their world and not in ours. Because just like we have the laws of physics, they probably have different natural laws because their world just works differently.

That brought me to the question of how do these two elements work together? Because we have a world in which magic is just part of everyday life and while magic and technology tend to be exclusive from each other in most works of fiction that include them, that’s not the case with Stream Labs. In fact, I don’t think it’d be possible for that to be the case with the way that the world is set up. Magic has probably existed in that world for longer than intelligent life has been a thing and when civilizations started to slowly develop, people were people and started to innovate, to invent. And magic was just there, a happy ingredient in a very interesting mixture.

It’s likely that in that world, magic is actually a big reason of why they’ve got such advanced technology, because magic helped in develop such technology. There’s probably technology that is fueled by magic, and technology to help enhance magic or to learn magic. Heck, just magic and technology working together to make something. Like the parkour courses. My best guess is that the platforms and floating obstacles are suspended through some sort of magnetic field while the ‘respawning’ crystals are powered by some sort of magic.

And back to the ‘technology to enhance magic’ thing. I remember that in Harry Potter, at some point they explain that you don’t actually need a wand to do magic. The magic is within the wizard, the wand is just a tool to channel said magic more easily to do what you want it to do and opens the doors to do a lot more with said magic than you’d be able without a wand. I wonder if stuff like that exists in the Stream Labs world, where technology is made in order to work with the magic and push one’s abilities further.

Anyway, sorry for rambling. I just needed to get those thoughts out of my head. Hope you’re having a lovely day <3

you

you get it

basically that's stream lab's world, magic reinforced technology or vice versa.

the 'streaming' side of it will probably realize that as well when the reveal happens.

i'm actually really happy that you sent me this bc it means that my worldbuilding is interest enough to induce brainrot and thoughts about it! i'm ridiculously happy about that XD

im glad you enjoy it and the fic!

[tsrookie]

Always In My Heart

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Alyssa Brooks)

A/N: On today’s episode of ‘I have no idea wtf I’m doing’, we have something that I cooked up because I had terrible WiFi and no other app but Google docs would open up.

Trope: Fluff, but a tiny bit of angst?

Rating: General

Word Count: 2.3K

Warning(s): Mentions of character death

Summary: Their son has a very important question to ask.

——————————

The delicious aroma of chicken and rice wafted through the Brooks-Ramsey household. The couple worked side by side in the kitchen as they had all those years ago, the only difference being that it was now a dinner for five and not just two.

Allison Dolores Brooks-Ramsey came into their lives nine years ago, and while it was earlier than they would have wanted, they didn’t regret a second of their lives ever since they first heard her voice.

The twins on the other hand, were planned, but nothing had prepared them for the chaos that Nathan and Natalie would bring. A new broken object every week, a dozen fights for the TV every day, and yet were nothing short of tiny tornadoes when they joined forces.

It couldn’t be more perfect.

“What time did Jackie and Emilia say that they would bring the girls back?”

“6:30, I think.”

“Ah. So we have time till 7:00.” They shared a knowing smile. Two aunts taking their nine and six year old nieces to the mall meant a complete raid of the toy store, and a new guitar.

“You need to stop letting everyone spoil the girls just because you have a soft spot for them, Ethan. Ally’s grown old enough to understand that she has her daddy wrapped around her finger, and we don’t need Nat coming to that realisation as well.”

“I don’t- I can’t believe you would accuse me of not loving all my children equally!”, he exclaimed in mock offense.

“Mhmm. So why did I have to come up with an explanation to tell Nathan why his dad wasn’t on board with ordering dessert when he asked for it, but relented once his sisters kept bugging him for another five minutes?”

He opened his mouth in protest, but decided against saying anything for his own good. “Well what can I say? They’ve inherited their mother’s persuasiveness. And I can’t really say no to you, can I?”

Alyssa’s lips curved upwards at that. The playful look in her husband’s eyes caused her to finally break into a grin. “At least you’re self-aware.” Stuffing the rice into the bird she added, “But I can’t exactly tell our son that his dad is too in-love with his mom that he sees her in his daughters and hence can’t say no to them. He’d gag in disgust.”

He chuckled and wrapped his arms around her, resting his head in the crook of her neck. “That he would. Alright I’ll try a little harder to resist their charms. Wouldn’t want my only son to end up hating me.” He said it without a hint of worry over it becoming true someday. Over the years, he’d learned to put aside his fears of not being a good father, and with the help of some therapy, and Alyssa’s unwavering love and support, he’d locked up his insecurities in a box and let it sink to the bottom of the ocean.

They took the stuffed chicken and put it in the oven, washed their hands and plopped down on the couch for some rare downtime.

“Crap.”

“Everything okay?”

“Fred’s mom got called in, so she’s dropping Nate off on her way to work.”

Ethan sighed. “There goes the hour I planned to spend with my wife, who I barely get to spend enough time with these days.”

“I swear, you were never this busy when you were chief. I have no idea why my workload’s ten times bigger.”

“I do.” Ethan smiled with pride. “One usually does have a lot of work when they’re at the front lines of the battle for making free healthcare accessible for every single person in the country. My brilliant wife, though she could choose to leave most of the work to her very competent team, opts to take it all upon herself. So that’s probably the cause behind all the extra workload she complains about.”

She smirked and perched herself onto his lap. “Well your very brilliant wife also knows that you called my team very competent just to avoid hurting my feelings, and that you and I both know that they’ll be running around like headless chickens without me taking care of things.”

“I know, love. But you can still make them do a little more instead of working yourself to the bone while still making sure that you have at least one meal with the kids every day.”

She sighed. “Yeah, to make sure that they don’t forget what I look like.” She leaned in closer. “Besides, are we really going to spend our last few minutes of peace talking about work?”

Just as she uttered the words, the door burst open, and Nathan kicked off his shoes and jumped onto the couch as Alyssa slid down from Ethan’s lap. She shot him a look that very clearly meant What did I just say?

Ethan gave her an apologetic look and ruffled his son’s hair. “Hey buddy. How was your day at Fred’s? I know you wanted to spend more time with him.”

“I did, and we were just about to open his new LEGO set when Mrs. Watson told us that she had to run up to her office for some emergency meeting.”, he pouted. “But it was a nice day. We watched Thor: Ragnarok and Luca, and we would’ve watched another movie if his dad didn’t tell us that two movies were enough for a day.”

Alyssa shot him a mildly stern look. “Well he was right. You’re too young to have movie marathons just yet. Two are more than enough, unless you want to have a headache.”

“But mom, I’m not too young! I’m a big boy! I can swing along the monkey bars at the park faster than Natalie, and soon I’ll swing across buildings just like Spider-Man!”

“Well Spider-Man got bitten by a yucky spider before he swung across buildings. Do you want to be bitten by a gross and poisonous spider?”

“Mommy, not all spiders are gross and poisonous. Dad told me that when I was four and got scared of them at the zoo.”

She rolled her eyes. Leave it to her husband to convince her kids that insects were anything short of creepy and disgusting. In reality, they were, but as someone who ran a mile away at the sight of a butterfly, she wasn’t going to accept that.

“That’s right, Nate. Some of them are certainly very poisonous and dangerous, but that doesn’t mean that you should be scared of them. If you maintain your distance and admire them from afar, there should be no problem at all.”, he said with a pointed look at Alyssa, who just huffed in annoyance.

Nathan giggled, his brown eyes lighting up with amusement. He loved watching his parents playfully bicker. It was way better than seeing them- ugh, kiss.

“We were pretending to be superheroes and Fred used his full name for his pretend name cause it sounded cool, and it is. Fredrick Anthony Watson sounds like something from that show you and mom watch with the guys in the stuffy suits.”

“When did you see us watching the show with the guys in the stuffy suits?”, asked Ethan with a slight hint of concern. Whatever he and Alyssa watched on their free nights was definitely not kid-friendly.

“I don’t remember. Maybe a few months ago.”

Their year old puppy, Ivy, woke up from her nap and bounced into the living room to jump onto her favourite person. Nathan squealed with joy as the fluffy hair of the dog tickled his nose.

Ethan and Alyssa smiled at each other. Getting another dog after Jenner was a decision that took a lot of convincing, but their kids were responsible enough and it was impossible to say no after two years of constant pestering.

“Fred told me that he was named after his great-grandfather William, and that he was this really cool guy who saved a bunch of guys from getting mugged in a dark, dark alley.” He turned to look at his parents as Ivy snuggled into his lap. “Who was I named after mom?”

The question caught her off guard, and she glanced at Ethan for backup.

When they knew that they were having a boy, they immediately knew what to name him. They hadn't, however, anticipated Nathan Daniel Brooks-Ramsey to ask such a question this soon.

Seeing his wife at a loss for words, Ethan spoke up. “C’mere Nate.” He pulled him closer and pressed a kiss atop his head. “We once had a friend named Daniel. He worked at the hospital as a nurse, and he was close to your mom and Aunt Sienna when they were interns.”

Having found her voice, Alyssa joined in. “He was an amazing friend. He was the only nurse in the hospital who helped me out when things got messy, and cheered up Aunt Sienna when no one else could. He’d join us for picnics and movie nights, and you could always count on him if you needed something at the hospital.” She took a deep breath, and Ethan nodded. “Things were going well, but then in my second year, something really bad happened.”

“Oh no.”

“There was this bad guy, who wanted his revenge on another bad guy, and he was ready to risk his own life, and the lives of everyone around him to do so.”

“That’s horrible! Who would want to do something like that?”

Ethan smiled wistfully. “A lot of people in this world actually do. You’re a good person, so you know that it’s wrong. But some people aren’t, and they don’t care about other people getting hurt because of their actions. That night at the hospital, Danny tried to tell the bad guy that it was wrong, and to think things through. But he didn’t listen, and did something that hurt both himself, Danny, Uncle Raf, another friend of ours, and your mom.”

His little eyebrows creased with worry, Nathan asked, “What happened then?”

“He… he died. Along with our other friend, Bobby. Do you remember what we once told you about an autopsy?” Nathan nodded his head. “Well Danny asked for his body to be autopsied, and thanks to him, we were able to find out what was wrong with mom and Uncle Raf.”

He fell silent for a moment, remembering the horrors of the day, and how eternally grateful he was to Danny for being the reason he didn’t lose everything. He couldn’t imagine a life without the love of his life and his children, and he wouldn’t have either if not for the sacrifices that were made.

He looked up at Alyssa, and she squeezed his hand in support. “We’ll tell you more when you’re older, but to make it short, you’re named after a hero too. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have you, your sisters, or mom here with me.”

Nathan wriggled out of his dad’s arms, and set Ivy down so he could hug his mom as tightly as he could.

“Well… if you can hear me Mr. Daniel, I just wanna thank you. Thanks for saving my mom. I love her so much and I’m so thankful that I got to meet her because of what you did. I wish I could’ve met you, you sound like a really cool person, and I’m sure you were. So yeah, thanks. A lot.”

Alyssa’s eyes glimmered with unshed tears, and she held her son as she expressed her silent thanks along with Ethan.

What they had was precious.

Fifteen years had passed since they first met, and yet each day they fell in love a little more like they did when they held hands for the first time in the dim light of the NICU watching over little Ethan, or when she finally got to see the real him the first time she visited his place; the first time in years he let someone know a little of the worries residing deep in his heart.

With all the odds against them, it was a miracle that they survived, even more so that they managed to raise three perfect children who had more love to share than they could ever comprehend.

And they’d never forget all the reasons that made it possible for them to survive.

Ding!

The timer on the oven went off, and they got to their feet to get the chicken.

“Was he a good cook dad?”

“I… don’t really know, Nate. Your mom knew him better than I did.”

“Well there was this one time where he helped Aunt Sienna bake an amazing cake, so I guess he knew his way around the kitchen.”, Alyssa recollected fondly. It was for Jackie’s birthday, one of the few nights where the competition was completely forgotten about.

Nathan’s face melted into a glowing smile. “I love cake. So I guess I really would’ve loved him.”

She mirrored his radiant expression. “You definitely would’ve.”

“Why don’t you go play with Ivy while mom and I get the food ready? You can help us with the dessert later.”

“We’re having dessert?!”

Ethan grinned at his son’s excitement. “You bet we are.”

“Yay!” They watched as Nathan ran off to go play fetch with Ivy in their enormous backyard.

Ethan pulled Alyssa in for a sweet, lingering kiss as soon as he was out of sight.

“You’ve been wanting to do that for a while now hmm?”

“Something like that.”, he murmured as they broke apart.

She could see the ever-increasing strands of silver in his brown hair, and the faint wrinkles along the sides of his forehead, but his clear blue eyes were just as loving and devoted as she remembered from over a decade ago.

“We have a pretty good life, don’t we?”

Ethan kissed her again. “No, we have the perfect life.”

——————————

A/N 2: Aaaand I’m going MIA again. Honestly though, to everyone who’s read so far, thank you so much for sticking around. Means the world💙

P.S: I finally chose Chyler Leigh as my face claim!

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[five-rivers]

Danger First

Chapter 6

@pocketramblr another :)

.

Shouta trudged back to the staff break room. His counseling session with Midoriya had lasted a little over an hour, so while there were still teachers in the building, many of them had left. With the exception of semi-retired heroes like Recovery Girl, everyone working here had two full time jobs. Hizashi, despite his carefree air, had even more than that in the form of his radio show. Hizashi had probably left with the students.

But Hizashi wasn't either of the ones he wanted to talk to. Not today.

He opened the door. Three, no, four teachers were there, but Snipe didn't count, seeing as he was completely passed out on one of the couches with his gas mask half off. He must have had an early shift patrol today, poor sucker.

Nemuri was there, too, with most of her hero outfit on. She was applying her hero-grade makeup (water proof, resistant to three common contact poisons, and guaranteed not to react badly with mace).

More importantly, Kan and Yagi were both there, poring over papers on the same desk, no less. Shouta walked up to the table and looked down at sheets and sheets full of incomprehensible numbers.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"We-"

'Don't tell him!" said Kan, urgently. "This is going to be my class's leg up on Aizawa this time around."

"Haha! Good one!" Yagi slapped Kan's back, and apparently even in his skeletal form he could pack a punch, because Kan had the air knocked out of him. Before he could recover, Yagi continued, "I'm making personalized nutrition plans for his class!"

"What?"

"One of my undergraduate degrees was in nutritional and health sciences, after all!"

Wow, there was a lot to unpack there, but Shouta was more than happy to leave it in its box. He had other fish to fry and topics to interrogate. Small talk requirement fulfilled, he moved on.

"How well do you know Midoriya?"

Yagi blinked and put down his pencil. "Moderately so? We met about this time last year and have been meeting regularly since then."

So, so much to unpack.

"Why?"

"Ah, he... impressed me, I suppose? He was involved in the bodysnatcher incident last year."

That was an understatement.

"He had a lot of heroic spirit!" continued Yagi. "But... not so much in the, ah, body category. I thought it would be a shame, a waste, really, if he wasn't able to pursue his dream, and a hero school prep course wasn't really in the cards for him, considering his quirk status and the timing... And I did have this degree..." He waved his hands vaguely at the table. "I just gave him a little help."

"What brought all this on, anyway?" asked Nemuri. "Midoriya is the little green haired kid, right? One of Chibiida's new friends?"

"If you keep calling him that, I won't be held responsible for when he snaps and attempts murder. But, yes, that's Midoriya."

"So...?"

"He told me I was the best teacher he'd ever had."

Nemuri started laughing.

"Oh," said Yagi. "I'm glad the two of you are getting along so well."

"I think he's pulling your leg, Shouta," said Nemuri, coming over to pat him on his shoulder. "Man, I didn't think a friend of Chibiida's would have it in him. Such youth!"

"I cannot even begin to tell you how much he wasn't."

Nemuri's laughter died off.

"Judging from some comments he made today," said Shouta, "not to mention the discrepancies between his record and his observed behavior in the classroom, I'd say he's been the target of severe quirkism in the past, particularly from his teachers. Did he ever mention anything like that to you?"

Yagi's face darkened and the mood in the room grew much more somber. "Not in so many words, no. However... some of his comments about his teachers disturbed me enough to bring it to the attention of the Musutafu Educational Services District, but as an unrelated stranger without concrete proof..."

("You can use the acronym, you know," muttered Vlad.)

"You're telling me they ignored the number one hero."

Yagi made a face. "I didn't go to them as All Might. Can you imagine the media frenzy if I did that? I didn't want to paint that kind of target on young Midoriya's back."

That was fair, actually. If largely-anonymous Shouta had enemies, All Might had ten times as many. Not to mention supposed fans.

"Other avenues of inquiry were also fruitless," said All Might, countenance darkening. "I asked some of my police colleagues, but they don't have full discretion over the direction of their investigations, and, again, if I were to use my weight to move them... It would get out, and people would wonder why I was so concerned with an apparently normal middle school."

"Did you try talking to Nezu about it?"

"No? Why?"

Shouta reminded himself that although Yagi was an alumnus, he was also very new as a teacher, and was as of yet unfamiliar with Nezu's more interesting traits.

"I'm going to," said Shouta, "and you're going to come with me." He turned to Kan. "Have you heard anything from Bakugo about quirk discrimination?"

"All I've heard from him are explosions, threats, and some kind of complex I don't have nearly enough psychiatric training to- They're from the same school," he realized.

"Yeah."

Kan pinched his brow. "So, the sweet shy kid you keep gushing about-" Both Shouta and Yagi attempted to reassure Kan they weren't gushing, "-and the demon brat are from the same school."

"That is what their records say," agreed Shouta. "Did you know, Yagi?"

"Oh, that they knew each other? Yes. Actually, I was rather under the impression they were childhood friends, as Midoriya ran out to help him during the bodysnatcher incident."

Shouta grunted. It was possible. He hadn't seen the two of them interact, at any rate.

"I'm going to Nezu with you," said Kan, standing up. "No matter what else this hell school did, they deserve to suffer for inflicting Bakugo Katsuki on me with those recommendations full of lies."

"Why don't you just expell him if he's that bad?"

"Because he's talented, hardworking, and hasn't actually broken any rules except for the swearing. He's just a pain I wasn't prepared to deal with and will probably contribute more to my hearing loss than Yamada by the end of the year."

"Wait, wait," said Yagi. "What exactly are you expecting Nezu to do in this situation?"

"Well," said Nemuri, who still hadn't left yet, "let's just say there's a reason hid name is 'god' in the staff group chat."

.

Terrible did not even begin to describe how Izuku felt when he woke up. His skin was static. His mouth was dry in a way that hurt. It felt like a siren was going off in his brain, and also like it was too quiet. He wanted to both run all the way to the school and hide in his closet.

This, of course, left him paralyzed in bed.

He hadn't felt remotely like this since the first time someone had left spider lilies on his desk at school. What was wrong with him?

No, that was the wrong question. All signs pointed to him having Danger Sense. He was in danger. And also immobile in bed.

With a great deal of effort, he turned to his bedside table and grabbed his phone. The clock in the corner read 4:42. Far too early to call anyone. And yet...

With shaky fingers, he navigated to Mr. Yagi's contact information and pressed dial. To Izuku's surprise, it only rang once.

"Young Midoriya? Is something wrong?"

The sound of his voice loosened the terrible knot under Izuku's breastbone. "I- May-maybe? I don't- I don't know, I think so."

There were sounds of movement on the other side of the line. "What happened?"

"I just- just woke up, and I- I think it's Danger Sense. It- Something bad is going to happen."

"I'm on my way. Is your mother with you?"

"N-no. She's at a- at a tech conference in Tokyo. She won't be back until- until tomorrow. Mr. Yagi, I don't- I don't think it's something here. I think it's later... at the school."

There was a pause. "My boy, are you quite sure?"

Izuku's laugh was just a little hysterical. "I mean, I'm- I'm pretty new to this, but..." he'd like to think his flight or fight reflex would have a more constructive response to am immediate threat. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have woken you up, I should have waited-"

"Nonsense! Forewarned is forearmed, and time is one of the most valuable resources a hero can have! I'm still picking you up, I'll just-" Mr. Yagi coughed, "-take the car instead."

"The car? You mean Hercules!?" The excitement was enough to free Izuku from his paralysis and propel him into a sitting position.

"Well, yes, but, my boy, how did you know? I don't think I've ever mentioned the name in my interviews..."

"But you did! In one of your American interviews. It was for a local station and you and Mr. Shield were on together."

"But those were in English."

"I know! When I found out about them, it really motivated me to work on my English! I think I could probably pass the Level Two fluency test..."

"Young Midoriya, have I ever told you how glad I am that you aren't a villain?"

.

"Hikage, did Danger Sense ever make you feel this bad?" asked Nana as Yoichi fussed in the background.

"Super Anxiety made me feel this bad all the time. Sometimes, it made me feel worse. I got used to it."

Nana let out a sigh of relief. It sucked to Ninth right now, but if it was normal for the quirk...

"That's good, then," said En. "Not for Ninth, obviously, but if that's just how the quirk works, he'll be able to figure it out. What did it usually mean, when you felt like this?"

"Generally, that someone was planning on killing me in the next few hours."

Dead(er than usual) silence.

"Ah," said En.

"You know," said Nana, "sometimes the kinds of lives we led slips my mind, but then the universe is always real happy to turn around and slap it back into me."

Yoichi started screeching.

.

"Do you feel any worse now that we're here?" asked Mr. Yagi after shutting Hercules down.

"Not really," said Izuku. He slumped down in his seat and looked away. "I'm sorry, I dragged you out of bed and this is probably just a stupid pointless meaningless panic attack..." He felt tears begin to prick at the edges of his eyes. He was so stupid. And selfish. All Might could be out helping people right now. Or taking care of himself (which, according to Recovery Girl's comments during their training sessions, he didn't do nearly enough of).

"Hey, hey, there's no need to cry, it's alright."

"Because you're here?" asked Izuku with a sniffle.

"Well, yes, but also, even if it was 'just' a panic attack, I'd still want to be here for you." He reached across the central console to pat Izuku on the shoulder. Then his face twisted into something rather sheepish. "But on the subject of panic attacks, something did occur to me on the way here."

Izuku looked back down at his knees. "What is it?"

"This is the anniversary of the day we met."

Izuku... had known that, actually. Waking up as he had had driven it from his mind, but the date was marked on his calendar. He'd even gotten All Might a gift, although he hadn't yet talked himself into being brave enough to give it to him, and with what happened today, it would most likely languish in his desk drawer for an indefinite period of time as the idea of giving it became progressively more awkward.

"My boy? I can't quite make out what you're saying. You're mumbling."

Izuku clapped his hands over his mouth. "Sorry."

"It's quite alright. I'm just an old man with hearing problems."

"You're not old! It's... I just- I just don't see how- how that's connected to this." He gestured at himself in all his vaguely-trembling glory.

"Young Midoriya... you almost died three separate times that day. That's traumatic. And sometimes anniversaries are... reminders."

"I only almost died once?"

"The first time with the sludge villain, grabbing on to my leg- and I don't think I ever apologized for telling you to let go, I was just so surprised- and then the sludge villain again."

"But I only almost died the first time..." He trailed off as Mr. Yagi gave him a look. He'd thought his mother was the only one who could give looks like that... "Do you really think this is connected to that?"

"I don't know," said Mr. Yagi. "Do you feel like it might be?"

"I don't know," said Izuku. He bent over and knotted his fingers in his hair.

"Do you think it might help to stay home today?"

"No!" yelped Izuku. "No," he repeated, trying to calm his racing heart.

"Alright, alright. Never fear, my boy." Mr. Yagi gave him another steadying shoulder pat. "In that case, let's go into this with the assumption that this is danger sense, and it is attempting to warn you of a real threat."

"Okay," said Izuku. He rubbed at his eyes. "What do we do first?"

Mr. Yagi tensed and looked up at the top floors of UA. "Well..."

.

"Hm!" said Nezu. "That is something of a conundrum! The extent of your quirk is unclear, and it is not properly registered, so we cannot go through the official routes we normally would for a warning given through a precognitive or clairvoyant quirk, even given that we are aware of One for All and the probable nature of Danger Sense."

Nezu knowing about One for All had been a bit of a surprise. In retrospect, maybe it shouldn't have been. All Might would have had to tell Nezu something so that Izuku was allowed on campus before he was really a student, and seeing as how All Might was originally teaching here to find a successor... well, it made sense. Izuku just wished he'd been told.

How many other people knew was a question for later, however.

"Your inexperience with the quirk and other circumstances further complicates the matter."

"Sorry," said Izuku.

"Whatever for? It isn't your fault." Nezu did not wait for an answer. "Then there is yesterday's incident to consider... You say you felt something with the reporters?"

"Y-yes, sir."

"Hm. Yes. Toshinori, I so believe you have a contact who could clear this up much more efficiently."

"I know," said Mr. Yagi. "He isn't picking up his phone."

"You don't think-?" started Izuku.

"No, no, he just hasn't been speaking to me lately."

"Oh? I was under the impression you had been communicating with him regularly since returning to Musutafu."

"He thought I would change my mind about something I didn't change my mind about, apparently. It doesn't matter. What else can we do?"

"A good number of things, luckily. Midoriya, I am going to make a series of phone calls. I would like you to tell me if the sensation you are experiencing changes at all while I make them."

"Yes, sir."

Nezu began methodically going through Izuku's list of teachers, warning them that something 'like yesterday' might happened and going over lesson plans and safety procedures. Nothing really changed. Until Nezu called Thirteen.

(Oh, gosh, they were going to go to the Unforeseen Simulation Joint on a field trip today? That was so cool!)

But after Nezu talked to Thirteen about checking safety systems, a little bit of the tension he'd been holding onto leaked away.

"Interesting," said Nezu. "Perhaps we should reschedule rescue training until-"

Izuku dove for Nezu's garbage bin.

"-or perhaps not," mused Nezu as Izuku expelled the meager contents of his stomach.

It was a good thing he hadn't eaten breakfast.

.

"Hikage," said Banjo. "I'm sorry for calling you a dead-eyed emotionally stunted bastard with a warped sense of humor if this is what you had to put up with all the time."

"You called me a dead-eyed emotionally stunted bastard?"

"Not to your face, but yes."

"Well. It isn't as if those things aren't all true..."

.

"I'm okay," said Izuku. "That just... felt bad."

"No cancelations in that case," said Nezu as Mr. Yagi hovered.

"Y-yeah. Oh gosh, now I know how Uraraka feels..."

"Perhaps you should stay home-"

"No! I can't! That would be..."

Nezu held up his hands- paws? "It was merely a suggestion. Can I offer you some tea?"

"Yes, please," said Izuku, voice catching uncomfortably on his raw throat.

"I do have a few more calls to make. Do you feel up to staying, or would you prefer to head down to Recovery Girl? Or perhaps even the cafeteria? I imagine you haven't eaten breakfast."

"I'd like to stay."

"Very well." Nezu picked up his phone again. Izuku could just make out the click on the other end when it was picked up. "Am I a mouse? A dog? A bear? One thing's for sure! I'm the principal!" There was laughter on the other end of the line. "No, not at all! I am in fact calling for you, Tensei. Or should I say, Ingenium? I'm aware this is last minute, and you were planning on taking the day off- How do I know? It was quite simple, really- but between the break-in yesterday and a tip I received this morning regarding a threat to the school, I would like a few more hands on deck than usual. Why, yes, you can stay with your brother's class. Do try not to tease Shouta too much. He has a reputation to maintain." After a few more pleasantries, Nezu hung up. "Midoriya?"

"I... think that's better? I'm sorry, it's hard to tell what could be the quirk and what's just me feeling bad."

Nezu nodded. "In that case, I do recommend that you head to Recovery Girl's office. My other calls will be similar, and the other heroes will not be with your class."

"Why not?" asked Mr. Yagi.

"Because Midoriya's reaction to the field trip being canceled suggests that the danger may not be limited to himself or his class. Oh! And one more thing. Midoriya, I noticed that you put in some costume alteration requests. Naturally, most of them will not be finished until some time next week, however, some of the support items you mentioned are fairly common. If you have time before the field trip, you should pay a visit to Power Loader."

.

Izuku hadn't expected it, but he did feel much better after eating, despite his continuing sense of impending doom. It was also about half an hour from the beginning of homeroom, so he had the time to go to the support department and check if they had anything he could take.

He hoped they had grappling hooks. Izuku had always wanted a grappling hook.

Mr. Yagi took him most of the way there, but students had started to arrive at this point, and Izuku convinced him to go prepare for classes (and hide in the staff area so that no one would wonder why he, a skeleton man not recognizable as a hero, was at the school). Before too long, Izuku stood in front of a rather sturdy-looking metal door. He hoped this was the right one.

He raised his hand to knock just as something crashed into him. Ah. This was it for sure. The way he would die. The danger he had foreseen.

No. Wait. Never mind. He was fine, just on the ground.

"Oh! There was a person there! You okay?"

"U-um," said Izuku, sitting up and rubbing his head. "I'm fine, just a little startled."

"What're you doing here, anyway?"

"I- I'm here for... support... gear?" He sort of trailed off as he looked up.

It was the intense pink haired girl from the other day. As he watched, her expression changed from one of mild concern to calculating interest.

"Support gear, you say?"

.

Shouta answered his phone as he walked down the hall. "Nezu, I've already done every security check I can think of that'll fit-"

"Not quite why I was calling, although I can see why you would think so. One of your students needs to be rescued from the support department."

Shouta changed direction without missing a beat. "It's Midoriya, isn't it?"

"Why, yes."

"Did you send him down there without warning him?"

"Yes, again. You know me so well!"

Shouta hung up.

[ask-hunterxhunter]

Continuation of yandere trio: how would they b like as dads in their yandere state? What would the s/o do if she stsrted to notice that their kid starts to resemble their father's behavior? How would the adult trio react to their kid trying to help their mother escape?

Illumi

The S/O’s reaction would depend on many factors (personality, her state after everything that happened, so on), so it’s not so easy to predict it. As for Illumi’s, well… I can tell you it wouldn’t be pretty. It’s disturbing enough that Illumi would act as if you’re indeed married and happy together (though it is how he sees things), imagine how it would be with a baby.

 Because he doesn’t see anything wrong with his actions, Illumi wouldn’t force you to act as a “happy, loving wife” or bother to hide the circumstances of your relationship from his children (though he might not be so obvious, keeping a few details from them, such as kidnapping for example, especially during the first years of their lives, believing they’re “too young to understand”). It’s not that he would sit down with them at some point and tell that he’s kidnapped you, but he wouldn’t deny it if you told them. He wouldn’t be exactly happy if the child ended up asking “why do you hurt mommy” or “why don’t you love her”, but he wouldn’t go into a fit of rage, at least.

 If/When the child questioned Illumi about your “relationship”, he would give the same responses he gives when you try to explain to him that he is hurting you: Cold, “logical” arguments that completely ignore the matter of free will and the nature of feelings.

 Yes, it would be pretty messed up.

 Perhaps the only good thing we can say about this is that Illumi would never use them against you or vice-versa (such as keeping the baby away if you don’t behave, poisoning the child to hate you, or threatening to hurt them to keep you in line). He might forbid you from seeing them, but only in “extreme” cases as Illumi would have the whole “delusion that you’re a happy family” going on.

 This, however, is the only good thing we can say about Yandere!Illumi as a father. Remember the kind of yandere this guy is? The one likely to believe that you do love him, sees nothing wrong with his actions, and all? This sort of applies to his own child as well, in a sense. He would already want to raise them as he was raised but it would be worse in this case: The child would be more a part of his “ideal” of a family than individuals. Illumi would be a lot more “overprotective”, while also being manipulative, wanting to shape his children to be the “perfect successors” of his bloodline. While you can still argue with him about it, he will listen a lot less (if at all) than in a normal state of mind.

 It’s not that Illumi wouldn’t love them, but if the Zoldyck’s kind of “love” is already twisted normally, well, imagine how it would be in this scenario. He might even mention that he wouldn’t make the same mistakes he made with Killua.

 Actually, his behavior towards Killua is a pretty good indication of how he would be as a father, only worse.

 Thankfully, there is the chance of your influence and the child’s own nature rebelling against Illumi’s teachings, so they wouldn’t be an “Illumi 2.0”.

 Once Illumi realized your child is trying to help you escape (maybe even wanting to leave with you), whether you’re successful or not, he would be angry, confused, and even hurt (as hypocritical as that sounds). He is virtually incapable of understanding you both wanting to leave him. You’re a family, he loves you both, he keeps you safe… Your behavior makes no sense. Why would his wife and children want to go away?

 If you are caught in this attempt, Illumi would punish you both, all while saying that it’s not something he wants to, but he can’t have this bad behavior. He would probably place the child in chains and whip them, or some other “Zoldyck-like” punishment, while keeping you two from seeing each other for a while. If you guys kept trying, he might decide to put needles in the both of you to prevent future attempts.

 Hisoka

Hisoka never cared much for the idea of becoming a father, but once it happens, he accepts it and may surprise those around him by actually becoming excited about it after a while. This is all fine and good, but with him as a Yandere? Well, the excitement still happens and all, but it’s disturbing…

 Don’t try to point out how messed up this situation is, Hisoka will just smile and ask how can you say this? Don’t you see? You’re a family now. Yes, it’s possible that he hopes/believes this may work in his favor, somehow “pushing” you into accepting him. He certainly won’t hesitate to make use of it, often holding you close, whispering that this is “our child”, so on… Really, Hisoka may not be the abusive type of Yandere, but he is the proof that sometimes hell can exist without physical violence.

 It’s not easy to say/imagine how Hisoka would be as a dad because, well, c’mon, it’s Hisoka. However, especially in this situation, we can’t say he would change just because he became a dad (especially in his behavior towards you). It’s just not in his nature. And we can’t forget that this child was born from a person who simply does not love him. About that, it’s unclear whether Hisoka would care to keep the whole “yandere” thing hidden from the child (including that he’s keeping you with him by threat/force/whatever). He believes in living life as he wants, so while this may sound sick, he wouldn’t see why this might be problematic. If you decide to pretend to be an actual couple for the sake of the child, Hisoka may agree but he won’t be pleased about it. Remember, he is the sort of yandere that does want you to love him for real.

 While he wouldn’t completely ignore what you have to say about raising the child (at least not completely), Hisoka would probably want to train them soon, imprinting his values and views of the world on them. It wouldn’t be to Illumi’s level, but it would still be pretty dysfunctional. Not that Hisoka would see it like this, as he genuinely believes in his way of life (let’s be honest, the guy isn’t exactly one that cares too much about “good” and “bad”, is he?).

 It's hard to say whether or not Hisoka would be abusive (though it seems unlikely) despite this particular aspect (or at least it wouldn’t be to Illumi’s level), but that doesn’t mean he would be exactly a good dad. He may want to be, but his mental state simply doesn’t allow it. Even if he treats the child well, c’mon, you’re being kept against your will. There is no chance of this being a healthy environment for a child to grow (and the danger of them turning out like Hisoka is beyond scary). Besides, it’s open for debate how much of the affection Hisoka has for the child is genuine and how much is connected to his obsession for you (which would not tone down after the birth).

 If the child is smart, they would not let Hisoka know they don’t agree with him keeping you with him against your will, regardless of his argument that he does love you. Hisoka would at once start to pay attention to their moves, so escaping would be even harder.

 He would be… “Displeased” to see your child trying to help you escape (even more if you two succeed). Yes, he isn’t delusional like Illumi, but it doesn’t mean he accepts the fact that you don’t love him, and having his child helping you (and probably running away with you, if they know what’s good for them) would feel like a betrayal.

 He wouldn’t take that well at all.

 Hisoka would hunt you two down like a hound from hell, making his decision to kill all the Spiders seem like a walk on the beach. There would be no arguments, no talking, no nothing, he would find you. As much as he could be training the child, it wouldn’t be enough for them to win should they try to engage him in a fight. About that, Hisoka might see that the child doesn’t want to be an insane fighter like this, but he secretly believes that he can change that with time.

 It should be noted that Hisoka wouldn’t kill them, but it would pretty much the same it is with you in a sense: He would simply not let the child go and would resort to whatever means are necessary to keep you both with him.

 Chrollo

 Due to his lifestyle and focus on the Phantom Troupe’s goals, Chrollo never gave much thought about having children (then again, he never gave much thought about getting in a relationship and, well, see where this got you).

 Just like he was not moved by pleas or arguments, he won’t listen should you try to convince him to let you go or at least give the child to adoption (better than to be raised by an insane criminal like Chrollo, not that you would tell him that). In fact, Chrollo will be strangely excited about becoming a father. In his mind, this sort of approaches you two more (even if you’re still clear about your rejections). He would hold you close, whisper how much he loves you, that you’re going to be parents… All while ignoring that you never wanted this in the first place. Beneath this veneer of normality, there will always be that frightening tone of someone who is beyond obsessed.

 About that, it should be noted that Chrollo won’t be above using this in his attempts to manipulate you into thinking you’re better off with him and that you would be better off accepting your new life. Your protests would likely be met with a creepy smile as he points out it’s not as if you have any choice in the matter.

 Would he want to put a façade of you two being happily together for the sake of the child? Maybe (at least during their first years)… Chrollo knows you don’t love him and that he is causing you pain, but while he takes no pleasure out of it, he also doesn’t regret it enough to let you go. Does he know what he is doing is wrong? Likely, but he also knows killing people is “wrong” and does it look like he cares? So chances are, he will keep acting as he always does. He won’t bother to tell the child that he is keeping you with him by force, as it’s not something that crosses his mind.

 Once you tell them (or they realize it on their own), Chrollo will have no apologies to offer, nor will he lie or try to manipulate them. Yes, he can pretend to be all innocent and friendly with his prey but it is not the same with his own family. If the child tries to ask him about it, Chrollo will be honest, while feeding them the same arguments you’d expect from a Yandere: He loves mommy a lot, but mommy needs time to accept his love. He always makes sure mommy is happy, so it’s fine. He wouldn’t consciously manipulate his own child into helping him convince you to give in, but it may end up happening anyway.

 Sometimes, “bad” parents try to keep their children away from their world (drug dealers want their children to never touch drugs, so on). It’s not the case with Chrollo. While the Spider will always be a priority, Chrollo would certainly hope his child would grow up to become the “next head” of the group (hell, some of the Troupe’s members might be in favor of that for all we know). Even if they start to reject his teachings, Chrollo would try to get them to see things his way, but it wouldn’t be quite in the way of a father trying to convince his child to become a doctor like him. It’s not that Chrollo would hurt them, but the child might have glimpses of Chrollo’s true nature anyway.

 Once you two escape, Chrollo would do everything in his power to get you back. It doesn’t matter how. He would be worried, yes (imagine what would happen if the Mafia caught you two?), but he would also be angry, revealing the depths of his obsession with you once he has you back. Will he be relieved that you two are “safe”? Yes. But that doesn’t mean he won’t keep you two chained for a while if that’s what it takes.

 Chrollo loves his children, he does, but in the messed up state of Yandere Mode, he would not accept that they don’t want to have anything to do with the Spiders (let alone that they want nothing to do with him). He would not hesitate to keep them prisoners, like he does with you (though this is not the term he would use), trying to convince them to give in and join the Spider (again, what choice do they have?).

[taceolsaol]

Alright, so MAG 81-100. I wanted to check in more often, but I was too busy listening to them 😅. So, thoughts on Season 3…

First of all, the spider story explains A LOT about Jonathan Sims. The fear of spiders, the oddness, the knowledge seeking, just so much about him in one episode.

Also, I’m glad Jon seems more normal in this season. He’s getting all his “eye” powers but the entire time he’s acting more like a human. I know he’s scared that he’s becoming a monster, but this season we see him interact with a real friend, make stupid but not as stupid decisions, and even avoiding Martin and Tim is out of a misguided effort to protect them. I think it’s because he can actually work towards understanding where he was trapped in Season 2.

And Georgie is perfect. Her character is such a great balance for everyone else. She’s logical but not stupid and understands the importance of people to lean on. She is such a great friend to Jon and really sets him in his place when he gets too in his head. I love her so much, which also means I’m terrified for her.

Daisy. She is a concern. Obviously by episode 100 she is controlled by Elias binding Basira to the institute, but she’s a loose cannon and this isn’t going to last. I genuinely cannot believe how trusting Martin is of the police and how sure he is they wouldn’t want to kill anyone…. Like?

Elias’ role in all this is confusing. Obviously Jon is playing the key role for The Eye, so what is Elias. Just supposed to control the Archavist to make sure they don’t step out of line like Gertrude? Seems odd to me, because he also definitely doesn’t seem to be in control.

The way Melanie and Basira join also feels a bit strange. Like Melanie joining without listening to Martin’s protests and then trying to poison Elias? It seems so out of character for her and while being there she seems to have really changed. Basira seems totally fine and happy to settle into the role. They just seem to react very differently to the situation.

Tim. I’m not sure how to feel about him. I feel so bad, he so clearly doesn’t want to be here and he can’t leave. But none of them can. Even after Jon’s situation gets explained he still blames him. He tells Martin it is Jon’s fault Sasha got replaced and if anything happens to them. I can’t imagine how Tim feels, but his blame and anger seem pretty misplaced. Also worried if he keeps resisting so hard whatever is holding him there is going to decide it isn’t worth it.

And Martin, poor Martin. First off, his statements and the way he reads them is terrifying and heartbreaking. You can hear the emotion and pain in Jon’s statements, but Martin’s are almost overwhelming. They certainly overwhelm him. It does make me wonder exactly how tied to The Eye everyone else is. Jon is the Archavist, but Martin seems pretty tuned into what is happening. I’m just not sure. Second, I like when he stands up for himself and he needs to do it more. Third, its so sad how worried about Jon he is. The others are worried about their own interests for the most part (except Georgie probably), but Martin just seems worried if Jon the person is alright.

And then episode 99 and 100… I cant believe Jon just got kidnapped. Wtf and right when Georgie convinced him to reach out to Martin for help. That’s just rude! Also he’s screwed, so… and episode 100 is just painful to listen too. Whatever power the others have, getting a coherent statement isn’t it. I don’t think it’s their fault, those people that went in have no idea how to tell a story at all? I think I could give a more coherent statement than that? It’s not all on the Archavist.

Finally, Peter Lukas. Looking for Elias. Doing something? to that statement giver. Bad, I’m guessing…

[sineala]

A Few Thoughts About Hurt/Comfort

I have been asked this month to make a post about hurt/comfort in Avengers comics. And I love h/c -- I actually have a massive number of WIPs right now that are h/c -- so I am very happy to talk about it! Anyway, this is not really all that planned out and this mostly turned into an excursus on Tony Stark's pain. I'm sure you're all surprised.

Like pretty much everyone else, I'm sure, I have found that everything lately has been... pretty tough. And the coping mechanism that really got me through last year and this year was reading and writing a lot of h/c, on the theory that, however lousy a day I'm having, I can absolutely make sure that Tony Stark has a worse one. And then I can make sure he gets hugs. Wish fulfillment? Why, yes. (Once at Hallmark I was trying to find a "get well soon" card, forgot what it was called, and described it to my wife as "a hurt/comfort card.") I think Marvel Comics -- the Avengers side, in particular -- is an interesting canon for h/c for a lot of reasons. Though, honestly, if you asked me to recommend you, a hurt/comfort fan, a new fandom, I would probably just hand you some Starsky & Hutch DVDs. Go watch "The Fix" and get back to me later. If you like that, there's way more where that came from. But there's still lots to love in Marvel! Superhero comics are really a goldmine as far as the hurt side of h/c. Because superheroes, and you probably have noticed this, get hurt a lot. They get hurt repeatedly, in fantastical ways that are probably impossible in real life both physically and emotionally (at least, I don't think anyone's invented mind control yet), and even the heroes without superhuman healing powers tend to get physically hurt a whole lot worse than actual people can take. Currently in Iron Man comics, Tony has a broken back and is dealing with this by locking himself into the armor as a backboard and injecting himself with massive doses of painkillers. He's busy! He's got stuff to do! He doesn't have time to lie around and heal! So, basically, if you name a kind of pain that you would like to see happen to a character, it's probably happened to superheroes. Multiple times. The downside, though, is that comics do not really deliver that well when it comes to the comfort part of h/c. They could. It's not inherent to the medium that they don't. But because of the serial nature of comics and also the fact the primary audience is dudes who want to read about people in spandex punching each other, a lot of the time they don't really feel the need to provide closure and write about people dealing with any of the hurt. (Raise your hand if you're still annoyed with the end of Hickman's Avengers run.) But at the same time, I think that's a quality that makes Avengers ripe for h/c fanfic. Because, generally speaking, fandom likes to provide the things that canon doesn't, and fandom is more than happy to provide the comfort. If you enjoy canonical h/c in comics, I think you really can't go wrong with Iron Man. One of the big innovations of modern Marvel Comics was the concept that heroes would also suffer from relatable human problems, and in practice what this means is that a lot of heroes start with a fully-loaded angst-ridden backstory and origin story, ripe for h/c. So Tony starts out by incurring a heart injury that he fully expects is going to kill him, which he responds to by vowing he won't get close to anyone so they won't be sad when he dies, and throughout the early Silver Age is constantly on the brink of death as his heart nearly gives out on him practically every issue. And then even after his heart gets (mostly) better, there are various plots involving his armor being detrimental to his health and him choosing to fight on anyway. It's hard for me to think of another superhero hitting that particular variety of h/c in exactly the same way. Sure, superheroes risk their lives constantly, because this is how superhero comics work, but Tony is the only one I can think of who is this constantly this badly off, physically. Like, think of all the other heroes who have had a continual solo presence as fan favorites across Marvel history -- Captain America, Thor, Spider-Man, Wolverine, maybe even Deadpool. You know what those guys all have? Healing factors! For the most part, they are not running around continually on the verge of death, and while there are certainly memorable arcs involving several of them being severely injured and/or dead, you really have to work at it. It's not their constant state of affairs, whereas Tony is the kind of superhero who shows up to a fight already bleeding out under his armor. Yeah, I know Extremis gave him a healing factor. But he didn't have it very long, and also he did some extremely dangerous things while he did have it; I'm pretty sure I've never seen Wolverine saying that he'll just solve a problem by cutting off his own foot. So, anyway, yeah, there are a bunch of good arcs involving h/c for Tony. If you're looking for physical injury, he has a whole bunch of heart problems over the years, gets several new hearts, then ruins his brain, et cetera. That level of hurt is basically the background pain of Tony's life; every so often, his heart will get damaged or he'll have to live in the armor or the armor will be killing him, et cetera. If you're looking for more unusual trauma, I am, as always, going to rec Manhunt, a relatively obscure arc in late v3 (IM v3 #65-69) in which Tony has an extremely bad week. His tech is stolen and used to bomb a building. Then he gets shot in the chest. Then while he's at the hospital a nurse tries and fails to poison him, and she then tries to beat him to death. Then he checks himself out of the hospital and a helicopter shoots missiles at him. Then he becomes a fugitive from justice. And then, oh, yeah, he has to fight the Mandarin. It is... a lot. (Volume 3 of Iron Man is pretty good as far as h/c possibilities. You've got a lot of physical pain, Carol's drinking arc, the Sentient Armor, both DreamVision arcs, and Manhunt. Manhunt is finally supposed to be out in trade this month, by the way.) There are of course the drinking arcs, which probably count as their own type of hurt. But if you haven't read the second drinking arc (IM #160-200), please do. Marvel likes to up the stakes on events (Fear Itself, Secret Empire) by making Tony drink, and it does work, I think. I feel like I've spoken at length about Tony's drinking elsewhere so I don't really want to rehash it all here. And then there's the emotional pain. Angst and drama is something that happens to a whole bunch of characters, yes, especially in comics, but somehow Tony seems to end up with possibly more than his fair share of it. Fandom likes to make a lot of Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, so much so that you might think, if you didn't know canon, that this was just fandom running with a throwaway mention of Tony's terrible childhood and making it worse. But, no, canon really does go there with a reasonable amount of frequency. Howard's actual first appearance is in a flashback where he's ordering teenage Tony to break up with his girlfriend because she's the daughter of one of Howard's business rivals. And then we get into the verbal abuse, and the physical abuse, and the time Howard made Tony take his first drink, and the part where Howard was a demon in hell who Tony fought while he insulted him. And more! Currently, in canon, Howard is alive again and is in league with Mephisto for the express purpose of ruining Tony's life. Also when Tony was a baby, Howard tried to trade him to Dracula. I think you can make an argument that fandom is actually showing restraint when compared to canon. Tony also has a whole lot of Terrible Exes whose presence and/or former presence in Tony's life can be used for a lot of hurt. If you've read any amount of fanfic, you probably know that the exes who get the most play in fandom are Sunset Bain and Tiberius Stone -- not that Tony and Ty were ever canonically a couple, of course, but fandom is definitely enamored of this idea. Ty and Sunset both have relatively similar interactions with Tony in canon, in that they are both liars and emotional abusers, heavy on the gaslighting, with the purpose of becoming more successful than Tony. They both also attempt to murder Tony, although this is after he figures out they're evil, at least. (Yes, I know, this is not how either of them usually appear in AUs.) Tony also has a bunch of exes who also have just straight-up tried to murder or otherwise hurt him, sometimes while they are dating, and sometimes before Tony dates them: Whitney Frost, Indries Moomji, Kathy Dare, and Maya Hansen come to mind. There are probably more I'm not thinking of! But, yes, if you want to write about a guy in a series of terrible relationships, please consider Iron Man comics. If mind control is one of your favorite flavors of hurt, Tony's pretty good for that too. We all know about The Crossing. I suppose when I say "mind control" I mostly mean "armor control" because there are an awful lot of plots where someone else makes Tony's armor do whatever they want it to do and Tony is along for the ride -- Demon in a Bottle, Sentient Armor, and Execute Program are the first things that come to mind. There is also a fairly obscure What If that is What If Iron Man Lost The Armor Wars in which Justin Hammer apparently really wants Tony in a mind control collar to take off all his clothes and lounge around in his underwear. No, really. I think a lot of pain for Tony often revolves around his issues with control, generally -- his alcoholism comes into play here again. The entire aftermath of Civil War is also notable for its propensity to hurt Tony over and over and over. Is he stoically soldiering on through his grief after Steve dies? Hell, no! He cries, like, six separate times. He 100% blames himself for Steve's death. It's great. Everybody loves The Confession and the funeral in Fallen Son, but one of my personal favorites is Avengers/Invaders, in which Tony is confronted with a time-traveling Steve from WWII and in order not to screw up the timeline, he can't tell Steve he knows him. He is clearly not coping well. He shuts himself in a room with a giant wall of pictures of Steve! Also there's a part where he has to try to convince Steve he can trust him and he ends up having to tie Steve to a chair to talk to him, and Steve looks at him and asks, "Who did you kill to get where you are?" and I feel like that is probably one of the worst moments in Tony's life. No wonder he gave himself amnesia. So now we might want to ask, okay, but why is hurting Tony in fanfiction so much fun? I mean, I can tell you why I think it's fun. I can't speak for anyone else. One reason is that he is very emotional and very affected by everything he does. Sometimes you will see people complaining that the heroes of m/m fanfic cry too much and this is not realistic. This is not a problem if you're writing Tony! He can cry as much as you want and it's perfectly in character. I don't think it would be as fun to hurt him if he didn't express so much of his pain. But he does. He also feels guilty, and for me that's a very satisfying character element. If he were well-adjusted and didn't blame himself for so many things, it wouldn't be nearly as fun as watching him blame himself for everyone whose death he thinks he is responsible for, whether or not he is. And then he just keeps going, and it's, y'know, nice to watch him be resilient, too. So, I guess, I think hurting him is interesting because it's easy to hurt him, his weak points are pretty obvious, and he reacts a lot. Steve doesn't hurt quite as much as Tony does, in canon. It's certainly possible to hurt him -- I mean, they did actually kill him after Civil War, after all -- but I don't think the canonical patterns of hurting him are as numerous. Obviously deseruming Steve is a fairly popular go-to in terms of physical hurt; he's been deserumed at least three times that I know of. I think's easy to see the appeal there of taking a character who is fairly physically resilient and making him... much less so. Certainly Marvel seems to see the appeal. But other than that I don't think he has any other really common way to get physically injured. Unlike Tony, whose origin story is basically "oh no, I've acquired a disability," Steve's origin story is "I drank a serum that cured all my disabilities." Which, I mean, great wish fulfillment but there's not really as much there to poke at. Pretty much all of Steve's pain is emotional, but, unlike Tony, his pain isn't often specifically in response to someone directly, purposefully hurting him. Hickman's Avengers run is a big exception, yes. His pain seems to come up most often as a kind of situational angst. He feels like a man out of time. He feels out of touch with the modern era, with people his own age. He feels guilt because he feels responsible for Bucky's death. He feels like he can't trust the government and therefore he can't be Captain America. He worries that he doesn't know how to have a normal life. And, yes, these are deep and important worries but it's different than, like, Indries Moomji dumping Tony with the intent to make him sad enough to start drinking. Very few of Steve's villains want to personally ruin Steve's entire life the way Tony's villains do; mostly they just want to do things like bring back the Nazis. In terms of Steve's potential for h/c, I think Steve is harder to hurt than Tony is. Physically, he is definitely harder to hurt. You can deserum him, sure, but unless you want everything you write to be a deseruming fic you're probably not going to want to do that more than a couple of times. And if you want to hurt him physically while he has the serum, you have to hurt him hard. Usually past the point where a regular human would ever survive it. He's also harder to break, emotionally, than Tony is -- which means it's very satisfying when you can get him to break, but this is a guy who's only cried twice (that I remember) in canon. So if you want to get him to cry, you really, really have to wreck him, and he doesn't have as many obvious weak spots. He also doesn't generally sit around blaming himself for things that aren't his fault, and the whole "stewing in guilt" genre of plots for him basically came down to "he was sad that he thought Bucky's death was his fault," and that's really the biggest regret he seems to have, and also Bucky's not dead anymore. The Steve/Tony relationship itself, I would think, is also appealing to h/c fans because canon provides a lot of ways for them to hurt each other. Some people only ship pairings who would never, y'know, take turns beating each other half to death in major event comics. (And for a lot of Marvel Comics history, that was also Steve & Tony, so if you want them to be BFFs who have never fought, you can just set your fic earlier.) They have definitely hurt each other both physically and emotionally, so if you're looking for something easy and satisfying as a h/c fan, you can just read or write something where they... make up. What about Marvel characters other than Steve and Tony? Surely some of them are angsty, yes? Well, yes, but also it depends on the particular flavor of angst that you like. If you like the way Tony hurts, you may very well enjoy Doctor Strange comics, because they have a very similar attitude towards life -- they are both former alcoholics whose origin stories involve physical disabilities, who routinely make tactical decisions that negatively affect their continued existence and/or happiness a whole lot. It's very much an "I must suffer alone in the dark and no one will ever know what I am doing to save the world but it's the right thing to do" sort of vibe. Like, you can read comics where Strange is lying in hell with two broken legs, hallucinating that Clea has finally come to save him. Strange's biggest fear, akin to Tony's control issues, is basically that one day he's going to be an asshole again, so he's out there trying as hard as he can to do good. Also, if you like tentacles, he has all of them. I mean that. Carol also occasionally hits similar angst spots, and her drinking arc is great. A lot of people like Natasha, too; I have read zero Black Widow comics but I get the impression many people enjoy her brand of angst. The mutant metaphor is a little different in terms of overall vibe, but some people really like it as a source of angst -- the whole "protecting a world who hates and fears them" thing. It may not work for you, but if you like your hurt to include things like systemic oppression, go pick up some X-Men comics. Start with something like God Loves Man Kills. I feel like I liked this sort of thing a lot more as a teenager but that I kind of aged out of liking the mutants quite so much. It's also worth mentioning that not everything that hits the spot in one universe will be the same in the others, and I'm mentioning this because I feel like I have to say something about MCU Bucky. MCU fandom seems to get a lot of mileage out of Bucky's guilt about being the Winter Soldier, everything he was forced to do, et cetera. I have definitely read my share of those fics, and FATWS sure went right for that angst too. But as far as I can tell, he doesn't hit the same way at all in 616. And I like him a lot in 616; I'm always pleased when he shows up on a team. (He was so good in Strikeforce. Everyone was so good in Strikeforce.) But the thing is, 616 Bucky is, basically, phenomenally well-adjusted, given everything he's gone through, and I'm including the time he wrestled a bear in a gulag. He gets over having been the Winter Soldier, and now he's just, y'know, a guy with a cool arm who likes to bring guns to every fight to horrify his teammates, and he snarks at Clint. If you're looking for that angst, that is really not him these days. He's all better. So pretty much all that is canon. So what do we do in fandom for h/c? Well, as far as I can tell, a decent amount of it is canon-based or very canon-close -- there are a whole lot of stories exploring the angst of Civil War or Hickman's Avengers run. Tony's drinking comes up a fair amount, and if one of Tony's Evil Exes comes back to haunt him, it's pretty much only Tiberius Stone. I don't think I've read a lot of fic with Steve getting deserumed; it doesn't seem as popular in fandom as in canon. When Steve gets hurt, he tends to just get physically whumped pretty hard, and there's a fair amount of that for Tony too, but of course Steve can take more. There's also a thriving, uh, subgenre of pain involving Hydra Steve doing terrible things to Tony, presumably the terrible things he would have wanted to do to Tony in canon if Tony had had a flesh body. There's the usual kinds of h/c setups that appear in basically every fandom as well -- sickfic, whump, dub-con/non-con. You get the idea. But since fandom in general likes to take specific inspiration from canon, there's a lot of fic where the hurt tends to resemble things that happen more in canon. Like, I feel like comics fic probably has more tentacle fic and more mind control than canons that don't come pre-stocked with those. Probably everybody has a whole lot of "tied up by bad guys," though. And then, of course, fandom brings the comfort that canon does not. This is true in pretty much every fandom -- I mean, you aren't going to find a lot of actual canons where Character A saves Character B from mortal peril and then there's gay sex -- but, like I was saying, comics don't provide a lot of closure before it's onto the next thing. Usually with a different creative team, who has no interest in wrapping up anything from the last team. Steve and Tony talked about the incursions exactly once after Secret Wars and nobody mentioned the part where Steve spent several months trying to hunt Tony down and kill him. Tony is never going to remember the events of Civil War. Hydra Steve died ignominiously in a fire and no one has ever talked about him again. Honestly, if you're looking for a way to get some comfort in your fanfic, picking an event, any event, and just having the characters talk about it will be way more than any of them get in canon. I feel like honestly that can often be a pretty satisfying to read. And even though comics canon physically hurts characters pretty often and pretty badly, they also often skip right past the recovery. Maybe you'll get one page of a character in a hospital bed at the end of the story arc. Maybe you won't. Demon in a Bottle has one splash page of Tony going through alcohol withdrawal and then he's all better. I think Manhunt skips to Tony getting out of the hospital at the end. That's just not a story that they want to tell very often. The second drinking arc is notable in that it devotes almost as many issues to Tony's recovery as it does to getting him to rock-bottom. Similarly, Steve is done with his Nomad angst way way faster than you probably think he is (though The Captain does go in for a fair number of issues). So one of the things we often want to do in fandom is focus on all the bits that canon skips over, both in the "why did no one ever mention this story arc ever again" way and the "wow, so how long are they in the hospital after that" way. That's really all I can think of about h/c! I'm off to write some more of it!

[sideblogformindtrash]

A GUIDE TO RUNNING ON THE WOODS ™

Keep in mind this is mostly based on the forests I’m familiar with and my own observations: highlands; temperate climate, very few species of large predators. This may vary for tropical and boreal forests, as well as country-wise; geography is also highly variable; Also, this intended as a writing resource for a community that likes to torture their ocs; don’t take this as survival tips, I’m just some dude on tumblr.

CW: Just about anything that can happen on a forest that I remembered about.

General/Terrain-wise:

-The floor likely won’t be plain. There might be plenty of spaces that will require climbing or careful descent; there might be places where the ground isn’t steady;

-If it has rained recently, the floor will be slippery; it’s very hard to climb. If the soil is mostly of clay, it’s almost like running on soap. In that case, places that are used as a passage (trails and such) are much more slippery than the ground around, due to lack of leaves/branches and also the process of compacting the floor that occurs on frequently used trails;

-If it is raining while you are on the forest, branches, fruits and maybe whole trees will fall. It’s easy to get hit by it. Pine trees, specially, are very likely to drop branches and pines.

-If not following a path, there will be plenty of branches making the passage difficult; a lot of them on the floor. It’s easier to trip and get cut on the branches that are fallen than the ones that are closer to the eye-sight so plenty of cuts and bruises will be on the legs.

-There are holes on the floor made by burrowing animals. If it’s dark or you are running, is very easy to break a leg by falling on one of those.

-There are probably some river-streams on the forest. Most might be tiny, but crossing them can be tricky, the rocks are slippery and might be sharp;

-This river-streams are likely at a lower level than the rest of the terrain, causing a stiff descent – river – ascent terrain shape, like a V.

-If the forest is just a patch in the middle of a rural area: somewhere there will be barbed wire. People still like to divide their territory even if it’s in the middle of nowhere.

-There might be bridges, but the estate they are in might be bad; or they may be just pieces of wood far apart with room to trip.

Animals:

-Most mammals and birds are very unlikely to be a bother on the forests. But arthropods will. It’s possible to step on ant-hills or get caught on spider webs. It’s unpleasant, but, most spiders aren’t very poisonous (largely depending on where exactly you live).

-On the other hand, plenty of caterpillars can be dangerous; varying from causing burns to species that can kill you from shock. Caterpillars stay on tree branches, some of them have colors that make them mask with the trees and leaves, so it’s very easy to accidentally touch one while holding a branch; specially for someone on a panic;

-There are mosquitoes. A. Lot. Of. Mosquitoes. They are annoying but following the swarms might indicate a water-source. Lakes and swamps might have leeches;

-BATS: they tend to fly on open paths; if there is a trail on the forest they’ll follow it instead of going through the middle of trees or over them. They are also little bitches and like to go close to your head to mess with you; but they are very unlikely to attack. Most of them eat insects, fruits and plants.

On rural areas:

-There might be agressive dogs trained to protect the households or the other animals;

-Cattle itself isn’t friendly either. They’ll try to avoid you most likely, but if you get too close they will attack. Cows can be very aggressive. (Sure, they can be docile too if they have a lot of human contact, specially towards their owners, and are pretty intelligent animals, but cattle on a pasture is unlikely to be trained to be docile and will see a stranger as a treat). They are more likely to attack if they have youngs. Imagine running away from your whumper just to die to a cow. 

-The one above also apply to goats, sheeps and llamas. Pigs are generally not agressive and will more likely just run.

Water/Food:

-Still water is the less safe to drink. Clear, running streams are safer. The closer to the spring source the less likely to be polluted; however is never safe to drink a large amount without being sure.

-They might contain parasites; however, parasites take a while to manifest any type of symptom and are manageable. Dehydration isn’t. This is to short term-forest scenarios. Some parasites will cause diarrhea, that will lead to further dehydration.

-If lacking in options, a way to filter the water is digging a hole close to the water source and getting the water that fills the hole; the dirty and rocks will help filter it somewhat.

-Rainwater is the safest source; As well as indirect sources such as fruits; however very non-reliable.

-Some trees have thorns on the branches or on the trunk. Some of them have on vines, too.

-There are crabs on freshwater! They aren’t too hard to catch, it can be done by having a small net and causing some movement in the bottom of the stream; however they are usually very small so not a huge food source.

-Insects, if not venomous/poisonous, are food ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-I’m trying to write about frogs, but like, we have a distinction between sub-types of frog that make this easier but for what I can see on English, everything is just frog or toad so………… maybe take this with a grain of salt, but:

-Frogs can be food too. Some of them are really dense and will just let you catch them. HOWEVER HYLYDAE FROGS AND TOADS ARE POISONOUS. On the case of toads, they have poisonous glands on their skin; they might be safe to eat if the person knows how to remove those;

-AS A GENERAL FOR ANIMALS: THE MORE COLORFUL SOMETHING IS, THE MORE LIKELY IT IS POISONOUS;

-There are about 50.000 plants that can be eaten, but aren’t cultivated so we tend to not know about them. There are plenty of plants that have some medical use, as well.

Medicine:

-Calendula and Arnica might be some ya’ll might like; they help with cicatrization and easy muscular pain.

-Lighting a fire on a humid forest is very very very difficult. Soggy wood and green leaves don’t like to burn. Philodendron imbe can be used to soothe Burns (it has to be slightly cooked). (I can write more on this if someone is interested).

-Is possible to be mostly immune to poison ivy burn. It’s an allergic reaction; albeit a very common one. However it’s also possible to get more sensitive to it overtime;

Caves:

-There are wet and dry forests; on a temperate forest, while it’s possible to find caves, they’ll likely be flooded or have small, discreet entrances that someone won’t notice on a panic. When on doubt, follow the bats.

-It’s. Dark. It’s ungodly dark. Think the darkest room you’d ever been at: it’s dark. The passages can be very narrow, barely fitting a person. The terrain inside can be very irregular and full of holes as well.

-Caves are humid even if they don’t have rivers inside them anymore. They also have their own mini-climates that tend to be stable during the whole year; And while some are cold, there are also some that are warm. They might be a good place to stay if the outside temperature is freezing cold, as long as not losing sight of the entrance.  

-They house snakes, scorpions and spiders. Again, baths won’t bother you, but you can get sick from the guano (from breathing fungi spores of H. capsulatum that grown on it); or get an accidental scratch when they are diving for the outside;

[utilitycaster]

In a very on-brand move thinking about how much the “haha this group has one brain cell and this character has it” meme annoys me sparked like, between two and seven different rants for me (I edited myself down to four, mostly) so I’ve helpfully numbered them into something that is debatably readable.

The main reason I don’t like it in any media is because usually it’s not as simple as ‘this is the brains of the group’, because people are multidimensional. I also don’t like it in actual play specifically for “stop acting like stats mean absolutely everything” reasons, which is a thing I’ve been on about recently; think “Caleb Widogast (20 INT, 16 WIS) and the Emerald of Death that Absolutely Could Have Been Left Alone”.

It is my belief that people who do not take impulsive and/or risky actions in D&D are bad at playing D&D. There’s a good quote from Travis Willingham about this - that you can’t just play it safe. If you want to be pedantic and optimal about it the smartest thing to do would have probably been to never touch the ship full of corpses and the +1 Spider Crown of Makes Good People Throw Up*. But I think most** people understand that to have a story, that is, to find out, one must first fuck around. When players delicately try to skirt around every possible thing that might deprive them of a single hit point, it is unbelievably frustrating. It is not unintelligent or ‘lacking in brain cells’ to take risks. Dorian and Opal made great choices! They saw that the Nameless ones were going to be a threat that they could not avoid, and took actions to address that! Which brings me to my third point.

I find that fandom often pivots with all the grace of a broken Zamboni driven by an elephant, which is to say they do not react well to changes or new information. When the Nameless Ones show up, and it becomes clear that the plan of quietly running away undetected had failed, a lot of people seem to short circuit (presumably) and perceive whoever drops that first plan - even though we already know it has failed - as being the cause of the new problem. This is wrong; the person who drops the plan is the person who reacts first to a new and changed situation instead of hanging on to plan A when they know it won’t work. This happens a lot; I may be turning over a huge amount of dead discourse about Rumblecusp but it was fascinating to see how many people were frustrated by the inaction against Vokodo but then championed inaction in terms of reacting to Jester being in trouble; it seems many people make a connection between inertia and ‘the brain cell’ even though sticking with a plan you know has failed is not smart. This also, I should note, tracks with neutral good characters often being assigned the brain cell by the fandom, so onto point 4, which is…

It’s easy to appeal to law or chaos - in fact, it’s much easier to appeal to that than to morality (good/neutral/evil). True neutral is also not terribly hard to appeal to in that you either zero in on the character’s personal goals/beliefs and ignore alignment altogether, or you trust the player isn’t a total dickhead and will go along with the party majority. Neutral good and neutral evil are the trickiest alignments to motivate, and since neutral evil is both rare among PCs and especially tricky***, let’s talk neutral good. Neutral good characters want to help but they lack the certainty of a lawful character or the spontaneity of a chaotic one; they typically need to analyze everything to figure out how they can best help since all they really have to go on is ‘am I helping’ and that’s often a complicated question. And it’s not bad to do this! It’s a valuable perspective to have in a party. But it’s not a sign of intelligence so much as a sign of having a specifi philosophy, and while I’m sure there’s someone out there who wants to watch a 7 hour trolley problem debate, I do not, nor do most people, so another character will often take action. This in turn doesn’t mean they’re impulsive, so much as they acknowledge that the trolley waits for no one.

In summary I think a lot of people associate “the brain cell” with extreme caution, but in a world where pausing for six seconds can get you hit by a poisoned dagger (and also resurrection exists), there is a lot of sense in making a quick decision.****

*if you were going to say “um actually this is the circlet of barbed vision” unironically may I gently suggest you learn what jokes are.

**not many, and yet still, far more than the acceptable amount, which is zero.

***this is a whole new too-long post but in short while neutral good usually wants to actively help, neutral evil often just doesn’t care if they do harm, but doesn’t actively seek it. Many neutral evil characters (eg: pre-Mighty Nein Essek) have relatively morally neutral goals; the evil comes from them being willing to hurt others in their pursuit of those motivations. They do not necessarily see doing evil as its own goal or reward the way a neutral good character may feel about doing good.

****for more on this see every time I have ever complained about how people are all about more thorough examinations of worldbuilding when it comes to boring shit like fabric arts but refuse to apply it to like, the sociocultural implications of a world with complete gender and sexuality equality and wildly different lifespans among different peoples and the presence of magic and gods.