#it was one of my first songs I added I love it sm

[jinmaeda]

Hi kabumisu nation could I interest everyone in my playlist

[giddyfatherchris]

A movie i've seen before III

pairing. bang chan x f!reader

type. not requested, a little fluff and a whole lot of angst

warnings. f!reader, crying, relationships issues, trust issues, angst angst ANGST

wc. 4k

a/n. here we go part 3!! this one will be rough LMAO it took me so long to write it and it made me so angsty when i did buuuuuut i kinda love it and ive been having a whole lot of fun writing sm angst even though im so nervous to post this since its not in my "usual" style… anyway i hope you��ll enjoy mwah xx oh and! i love to listen to music when im writing and reading so here’s a few song i had on repeat while writing this: guilty as sin - taylor swift, ceilings - lizzy mcalpine, i wish i hated you - ariana grande (in this order specifically!)

dont forget to tell me if you want to be added to the tag list for the next part x

part I part II

(pics are not mine! credit to the owners!)

The streets were softly illuminated. Restaurants and little bars were stuffed with people laughing and enjoying the gorgeous night. You looked around and felt a wave of glee wash over you. You loved people-watching, the freedom of the soft wind dancing through your hair, and most of all, you loved being here with him.

Rehearsals had been a flying success. The boys had been so excited to see some of their friends and the day flew by in a second. When you returned to the hotel, you should have been exhausted from such an intense and packed day. Still, all you felt was excitement and energy course through your blood at the prospect of the coming evening. Once you made sure the other boys were settled, they all encouraged you to go out, have some fun, and take advantage of being in the famous French city. Even Felix gave you an encouraging smile as you headed out, Chan by your side.

At first, he had been reluctant about your night out with his leader. He was scared for your heart. At the same time, he knew how hard you always worked and as he helped you decide on an outfit, he realized it had been a long time since he saw you this excited. So despite his reserves, he helped you figure out a cute outfit with a genuine smile. You deserved to enjoy the city and have fun after all your hard work. No matter what would come out of this night, he would be there for you and that's what mattered the most.

Even though you had spent the last few weeks making sure you kept a certain distance between you and the man at your side, you decided not to care about it tonight. You were tired, extenuated from trying to guard your heart. Chan's attitude in the past few weeks seemed different. Maybe Felix was wrong, perhaps he was ready for something more. So tonight you would be yourself, and enjoy whatever happened. You decided you deserved it. So you didn't refrain from doing anything you might have done before or wanted to do now. You let Chan hold your hand as you walked through the city. You let him hand-feed you a bite of his plate as you chatted in the restaurant. You let him take pictures of you as you walked near the Seine, an honest smile on your lips. You didn't hold back from replacing his curls once the wind had disheveled them. You didn't hold back from laying your head on his shoulder as you looked at the magical view.

You hadn't noticed, but every little touch or attention planted seeds of hope in your heart.

As for him, Chan seemed to beam at the returned normalcy of your relationship. He was more touchy than ever, a sparkle illuminating his eyes as he made jokes with the sole purpose of gorging himself on the sight of the adorable crinkles around your eyes. He shivered at the feather-light touch of your fingers on him when you made sure he looked perfect for some pictures he intended to post on Instagram for his dear STAYs. You gave a toothy grin as you pinched his cheeks before stepping away for more pictures. He didn't hesitate before asking a stranger with a broken French if they could snap one of you two. An amused light danced in your eyes, and you took a sharp breath when you felt his hand slide on your hips, bringing you closer to him for the picture. You lifted your eyes for a millisecond, a foreign but gentle expression on your face. He looked at you with the softest, most tender smile, before you gave him one in return, and rested your head and hand on his chest. You could swear you felt the thundering beat of his heart beneath his shirt. Or maybe you were mistaking it for your own, reverberating in your whole body.

"Vous êtes très mignons," complimented the stranger with a kind smile and a subtle wink.

You thanked him with rosy cheeks, not daring to comment. Chan came up behind you, asking what the stranger had said exactly, but you barely registered the words as you looked at the pictures on your phone. They were stunning. The lights, the view, but most strikingly, the way you looked together. Your heart skipped a beat as you swiped to see the picture the man had taken when you weren't posed yet. When you were still looking at Chan with that surprised and delighted expression and he was looking at you like you were the most precious thing on earth. He saw the picture and put his hand on your shoulders.

"They're beautiful," he said in a hushed voice as if the emotion currently gripping you had its claws dug deep in him too.

You looked back at him with a smile, trying to slow the fast pace of your beating heart. Ancient fears tried grabbing at your heart, but you pushed them away, holding on to your promise. He nodded towards the street, encouraging you to keep walking. His hand grabbed yours effortlessly and squeezed once before he started to walk. Soon, the Eiffel Tower appeared, and you couldn't hold a gasp from escaping your lips.

It was beautiful, stark on the starry night sky, illuminated like a beacon in the dark. Chan chuckled at your marvel and looked fondly at you as you ushered him to walk faster.

You settled on a park bench, his arm going around your shoulders as you cuddled into his side.

"This is perfect," you whispered after a moment of silent contemplation.

"It is," he answered, his lips so close that if he moved a little they would connect with your forehead.

"I'm really happy to be here with you. Thank you for everything."

The man's heart tightened at your words. "No, thank you," his words felt choked and you backed away enough to face him. "You are so amazing. You're the best at handling us and you’re you're so organized. I don't know how we would deal without you and I don't mean just at work. You're truly such a special person to us... to me." Stars danced in your eyes as you looked at him, so open, so inviting. "Thank you for being in my life. I don't know what I would do without you." Softly his lips touched your forehead in a tender kiss. You closed your eyes relishing in the warmth they spread on your skin. Never before had he been so honest about his feelings in your regard. The little declaration made your heart beat even faster. Seeds of hope were slowly blossoming into small, delicate flowers. Maybe, just maybe your proximity tonight meant more for him than you imagined.

Your eyes stayed closed even as he pulled away, even as he softly stroked the side of your face with his thumb. You were so scared to open them, terrified to know what would happen, what you would read on his angelic face. He brought you closer, so close you could feel his breath mingling with yours. You waited, incapable of opening your eyes.

"Y/n," he uttered softly. "Please, look at me."

You obeyed, softly batting your eyelashes, and felt electrified as the intensity contained in his eyes struck you. His gaze slowly tumbled to your soft lips, slightly opened, puffing each breath. His eyes came back up a second with a silent question. You knew he would not do anything before you said yes and it made your heart bloom as you nodded imperceptibly. And just like that, he linked his plush lips with yours. It was earth-shattering in a soft and shaking to the core way.

You backed away for a second to catch your breath and this time was the one to lift your hand, softly pulling at his shirt as you kissed him once more. This second kiss was still soft, but so deep, so full of emotions. It made your hands tremble. You moved in tandem, both the only people in the world who knew the rhythm of this foreign dance. The kiss made you feel tingly like nothing else maintained you to the earth except for his hands on your cheek and his lips on yours. It grew, both of you wanting, needing more. Your hands went up to his jaw, softly caressing the soft skin there, the skin you had wished to touch so many times. A low grumble echoed in his chest, the vibration almost making you purr back. You separated softly, slowly, stealing little kisses before resting your foreheads together, catching your breaths. His thumb fell on your bottom lip, softly plucking it apart from the top one. He was enthralled by the shallow breath you exhaled. Slowly, but surely you remembered where you were. You remembered you were sitting on a bench in France, and you realized you had just kissed. Panic slowly spread through your gaze, threatening to overpower the feeling of daze you had been previously bathed in. He noticed and a shadow seemed to pass in his eyes but before you could analyze it or say something he kissed your lips again. You had no idea what that little peck meant, and he didn't seem to know either but still, he smiled.

"You want to go back?" he whispered, his head still pressed to yours. You nodded quickly and took his hand as you walked back, your mind racing even as it clawed to stay in the daze it had been in for the whole night.

He held your hand on the way back until you felt its warmth leave yours to replace a few errant strands of his hair and didn't find it again. You tried not overthinking. He was allowed not to touch you at all times even after you had shared a kiss. And the fact that he had been all over you all night and suddenly wouldn't hold your hand didn't mean anything, right? You tried reasoning with yourself but couldn't deny that the sudden loss of his touch made an insidious cold creep into your bones.

As you approached the hotel and entered the lobby, Chan was so very polite and cordial. He kept his gaze straight forward and gave a polite smile to the few staff you encountered but didn't say a word to you. Long gone was the laid-back and giggly man you had spent the evening with. The ride in the elevator was silent, and not the kind of comfortable one you had experienced so many times. This one was heavy, full of meaning. You could feel regret emanating from his every gesture. Tears threatened to spill from your eyes but you held on, not wanting him to know how much this affected you.

Felix had warned you that Chan did not have the space in his life for a partner. You knew it, but still, you allowed yourself to let down your guard, and enjoy your time with him. What happened tonight could never happen again. The way this sole kiss had made you feel was to be used as a warning. If one night with him, carefree, had made you feel such a way... you had to keep your distance and be careful. If you let this go on, it would destroy you. You knew it now. Doing this tonight was a mistake because you didn't just like him. You were incontestably in love with Christopher Chan Bahng. And he wasn't and couldn't be because of everything he was.

He walked you to your room and stopped in front of the door. With your hand on the handle, you looked back at him, trying and failing to hide the pain in your eyes.

"Y/n, about tonight I-..." he started.

"Don't," you breathed out. "I know Chan. It won't happen again. I know it didn't mean anything." He shuffled in place, not even denying your claim. Your heart crumpled in pieces, nausea seizing you. "Don't worry about it," you finally whispered as you closed the door on him, on the possibility of him and everything he meant to you.

The little light of hope you felt earlier had been brutally put out. Delicate flowers ripped from their soil with an all-encompassing pain.

You got up the next day feeling like you had been ran over by a truck. Usually, you were a fast and heavy sleeper, but insomnia had seized you until the late hours of the night. But concert day would show you no pity. You had a job to do, and so you plastered a smile on your face and focused on the tasks at hand. You concentrated on compartmentalizing and acting like nothing happened, telling the boys about your amazing night, while omitting the kiss. The show went splendidly well, the boys gained many new supporters with this performance it was nothing short of a flying success. You struggled to feel anything as they smiled at you and spoke excitedly on the drive back to the airport. Once on the plane, you watched Chan sit down with a sour feeling in your chest. In the next row, Felix signaled for you to sit next to him but you couldn't. You hadn't told him the truth about your night, you weren't ready to face the possible 'I told you so' or worse, his tender compassion. Spotting an empty seat beside Minho, you stopped in front of him. "Can I sit here?" At his questioning look you allowed him to see an ounce of the sadness you carried. "Please, I just... don't want to be disturbed," you shared in a small voice.

Immediately his eyes took on a protective expression, he nodded and patted the window seat next to him. Relieved to know no one would get past your protector, you allowed sleep to swallow you and your pain, only waking up once you landed in Korea.

Cars sporadically zoomed by, their lights blinding you and making your eyes squeeze in pain, which actually wasn't that bad a thing considering how tired you were. The zaps of light were at least keeping you awake. The intense few days had taken a great toll on everyone, and the 12-hour flight on top did not help. Still, being the best one in shape you volunteered to drive. Chan in the passenger seat silently stared out the window while the boys were piled up in the back, sleeping peacefully.

You rubbed your eyes for the tenth time, hoping to finally get rid of the fatigue weighing on your bones that made your eyelids feel so damn heavy.

"If you're tired, I can drive."

You turned your head to find Chan staring at you. "I'm fine."

"I don't think you are. You have been rubbing your eyes and puffing for 20 minutes now. I got plenty of rest, I can drive the rest of the way."

You tightened your grip on the wheel, "I told you I didn't need you to."

"It's dangerous to drive when you're tired."

"Are you done?!" you lashed out. Turning your head to look at him you swerved on the road. Luckily there hadn't been any other cars, but your heart was beating out of your chest and you suddenly felt wide awake.

Chan stared at you with wide eyes for a second. "Okay, that's it. Pull over."

"No-"

"Y/n. Right now you're putting yourself and my members in danger. I can't allow that."

The sternness of his tone and a look in the mirror at the boys made you pull begrudgingly. You slammed the door and avoided his eyes while you switched sides. He tried to get ahold of you to apologize, but you pulled back as if the contact of his hands on your skin burned you.

"Y/n what's going on?"

"What's going on is that I'm tired. I'm exhausted," you sarcastically chuckled.

He wiped his eyes and sighed. "Listen, I get that but we all are."

You tried to bite your tongue to stop the words from coming out of your mouth but in the end, you couldn't. Maybe it was the extreme fatigue or emotional turmoil you had been going through for the past few weeks but you simply couldn't. You heard yourself speak words you never thought you would. "No. I mean that being in love with you is exhausting."

His arms slackened at his sides as his eyes grew big as saucers.

"You heard me right. I am in love with you. I should have known before, but our night in Paris confirmed that."

"Y/n... I can't give you or anyone anything more, specifically because of that. Being with me is exhausting. I already know that."

Irritation lit a fire in your blood. You were so done with this stupid man and his stupid beliefs that made him act like some fucking martyr, like the center of his soul was the problem while it had never been.

"Can you please stop? I'm tired of hearing you whine about how exhausting you are. No. It's not the actual loving you that's exhausting. You are lovable Chris as much as anyone else and to me even more than others. What's been exhausting is those past few weeks, this night we spent together. It's officially knowing you will never be able to return my feelings but knowing you still acted like you could. Holding my hand, looking at me with that smile. Telling me those nice things. Kissing me like I'm the best thing in your life. It's you playing with me that's killing me."

Tears of rage started rolling down your cheeks and for once you didn't want to keep them in. You wanted him to see how much pain he caused you.

"I never played with you I promise. I really do like you and enjoy being with you. That was never fake."

You let out an icy, short laugh. "And you think that makes it better? That is the definition of playing with someone Chan. A minute ago you told me you couldn't give me anything more. Now you're saying you meant everything. You're admitting to doing all those things even though you knew you never wanted more. And don't try to lie and tell me you were doing this for me or to try and see if you could actually be with me. You only did it for yourself, with your interests in mind. You wanted what I can give you without actually committing."

He dropped his gaze to the floor, unable to keep eye contact with you. He seemed defeated and his silence was nothing short of a confirmation of everything you accused him of. For the first time a word you would have never used in a thousand years to describe him came to mind. You took a step closer, forcing him to look into your eyes.

"I'm pretty sure you enjoy being with me. Everyone wants to be loved, and feel they matter but you act like you don't because you're afraid of what it entails. You're a coward," you seethed. "You build this wall around you, pretending you don't want anyone to love you the way you love them because you want to protect them, because you are just so noble and kind." You paused and scoffed, allowing time for your words to sink in. "But the truth is you're just scared. You're scared shitless Christopher. Scared not to be enough. Scared to be rejected. Scared to experience pain and loss. Everyone, and I do mean EVERYONE is scared of those things. The difference is we still try."

You took another step, your hands floating up to his face. "I know it means more to love you than it would mean to experience pain and fear." His face contorted as he tried to keep in tears. Your rage softened for a second and you rested your hand on his broad chest. Immediately his hand covered up yours. He took a breath, on the edge of saying something but you wouldn't allow it.

"At least that's what I used to believe." You slipped your hands from his and backed away. "I don't think I can anymore. Not when I have been shown so clearly that my feelings are not respected and understood for what they truly are. I love you, Chris. All I want to do is support and be there for you. I thought you just needed me to prove the depth of my love and I did so for the past year. I thought it would reassure you and kill that fear in your heart. I always thought you were such a kind and loving soul, that you just needed to see I really did love you for all you are. Now I'm starting to think maybe you are as emotionless as you try to make it seem to everyone." His brows furrowed at the accusation. "And you know what? I could even forgive that. I could forgive you if this was how you felt and you were honest with me about it. But no. You keep acting like you can one day return my feelings. You keep stringing me along." Your voice broke on the last words. It was hard to admit the truth. He had broken you in ways you could never explain. You were vulnerable, pathetically screaming at him from the side of the road. But you wouldn't stop. Now that you allowed yourself to be honest, words kept tumbling out of your mouth uncontrollably. You felt a rush to your head, you felt dizzy, feverish. "And you know what's the worst about it? I know about all of this and still, I can't even get rid of those stupid feelings. I wish I could trust myself not to fall further in love with you but I can't. Every time I see you it all comes back. I can't forget your stupid smile and your stupid dimples and your stupid hugs and that stupid kiss we shared."

A deep breath escaped your tired body. "I wish I hated you."

Those tiny, hushed-out words felt like a direct punch to the gut. Physically incapable of speaking, your words echoed in his head eclipsing any other thoughts.

You drew a painful breath. It was over. You said what needed to be said. And even if it did feel good in the moment, you were left an empty shell. Silently, you both got back in the car. Chan took your place in the driver seat while you sat with your hood pulled up facing the window. In the back, seven boys acted as if they were still asleep even when they had heard everything.

🏷️ list: @httpdwaekki @omgsecretsecret @lovesunshinefelix @luvstaymin @jupire @nebugalaxy @drewsandsebastianswife @whyyougottadothatbro @parisanmorovati @greyyeti @chanssmiles @wildtokay @my-neurodivergent-world @xotinytinaxo @ramadiiiisme @potentialgay

[d1s1ntegrated]

I liked your “first time making out with Shigaraki” it was really cute would it be alright if I may request one with Spinner instead?

If you don’t do spinner stories or headcannons than that’s fine i understand. If not him than Dabi would be fine too😁

um. what the freak...JK! YEAAAAAH spinner needs sm love ill do u one better, ill do both AND remake shigaraki's here too since this ask is old (im so sorry it takes me lightyears to answer my inbox)😏

first time (+ song!)

-> first time making out hcs for the league boys: s.iguchi, t.todoroki, t.shigaraki (with an added song suggestion for ~immersion~)

cw: language, light smut, tension, smoking, heavy petting, etc

this isnt proofread lmk if there are typos IM SORRRYYYY

｡ ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ ｡

t.todoroki- as you sow. by Reaper (heady)

dabi's first time kissing you was actually soft, almost nervous

(he has since then gained the confidence to manhandle you.)

he didn't think you actually wanted to- you both sat in his room, on his small shitty bed, smoking out the window late at night. at that point, you'd made this a habit with him, it was the one moment of peace you both got each day.

it was always calm here. just the sounds of cars passing by, music droning softly from one of your phones usually- just to keep the "vibe". even in the small room, on a shitty mattress, you enjoyed your time together in easy silence.

sometimes though, you'd feel his eyes rake over your form- you'd play it off as a casual glance, but the way your body warmed at his jeweled gaze...it made you question things later at night. but you never brought it up.

the haze of smoke blankets the room heavily, catching flickers of the neon city lights from a distance. it always did look pretty out here, even from the run-down hideout.

one night, he opened the pack of cigarettes with a frown. you sat on his bed, looking into the box- just one left. maybe staring a bit would make another appear.

it didn't.

it was far too late to run out for more now, and you were both tired. you looked at him and pulled the dart from the box, nodding to him to light it. reluctantly, he presses his thumb to the end, a small flickering blue light singeing the tightly-rolled tobacco.

you bring it to your lips, taking a long drag with closed eyes. you bring yourself closer to him, cupping his cheek gently. "open your mouth," a small fluttering of smoke follows your words, and his eyes widen only slightly. hesitantly, his lips part.

as you're exhaling the smoke, he's breathing it in. you repeat this, his sapphire eyes falling half-closed as his heart races.

you're not even an inch away, your noses keep grazing each other as you swap smoke. each drag brings you closer, until he gets tired of it.

he brings you into his lap, muttering something about "wasting precious smoke", and you snake your legs around him.

the cigarette burns down to it's last hit, and you press the tip of it to his lips. he takes the final drag, his chest rising against your hand.

you mimic him now, parting your lips slightly, and he blows the smoke slowly into your mouth.

as you inhale the tail-end of the smoke, he grabs your face and leans in, pressing his lips into yours softly.

there's a taste beyond the smoke to his lips, something akin to citrus and mint.

you slip your tongue into his mouth, the smoke now billowing around the both of you as your breathing quickens, his hands gently tangling in your hair. you wrap your arms around him, emitting a soft moan from the man as he tastes you.

his hands are warm, but they're also much softer as they hold you. gentler. as if he's cautious- or holding himself back.

the heat rises between the both of you, and you graze your nails into his back gently.

he cant stop himself now. he pushes you down against the mattress, and you watch as the city lights catch his eyes before he peppers kisses down your jaw and neck, his hands dug into he bed on either side of you.

his kisses are purposeful, but not aggressive as he envelops you, and from there... the rest is history.

it becomes an unspoken rule between you two that you share one cigarette from now on.

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚

s.iguchi- words drowned by fireworks. by Nobuo Uematsu (ffVII OST)

you and spinner had bonded unusually well. you spent all your free time together.

you'd always sit next to each other during meetings, played games together (sometimes with shiggy- that cockblock lol), would even read manga or novels quietly together late at night on the old couch, huddled up to each other for warmth.

but...he genuinely didn't know why.

one night, he asks you bluntly, "why do you like me so much?"

he wasn't trying to be like that. hell, he just wanted to know why here, of all places, he had more friends than he ever did outside. especially with someone like you.

because to him, you were farrrr out of his league. you're ambitious, proud, strong...pretty. and he explained this to you, under the glow of the game start menu, big ruby eyes shining with apprehension.

and when you grab his hand, intertwining your fingers with his, his heart jumps. and slowly, he clasps his fingers against yours, little claws brushing against your skin.

and you tell him everything you like about him. his courage, his loving nature, his jokes... all the fun you two had gaming and hanging out...how he became a warmth in cold places. god, you could go on.

but his head still hangs low, nervously chewing at his lip, messy orchid hair falling around his face a bit.

you shake your head, knowing you can't explain it any better than that. well, you can, but...no, fuck it.

you grab at his jaw, pressing your lips firmly onto his.

he's surprisingly soft. his skin, well- his scales- is a pleasant texture. smooth and supple. there wasn't a good way to describe it, but you liked it.

a lot.

god, and he smells so nice. its kind of tropical, like coconut and sandalwood, a warm bonfire on the beach almost.

meanwhile, he's overcome with feelings of shock, excitement, bewilderment. his nails dig further into your hand as he leans in, not missing the opportunity to finally fucking kiss you. after months of pining, trying so hard to just be friends.

everything is so soft, so gentle, and yet you cant help the pounding in your heart as you realize what's happening.

his tongue darts into your mouth without thinking- he just wants to taste you more. wants to be closer. you fall back into the couch as he brings himself above you. its a bit rushed, a bit shaky, but you can tell he's trying so hard to be "chill".

much like shigaraki, spinner is pent up. he's never done this before, he's so nervous, he's so turned on, oh my god... and so he presses himself firmly against you, against better judgement, unable to control his racing thoughts.

as you both pull away for a breath, you trail your fingers down his spine, his tail swinging slowly as he smiles down at you, blushing heavily.

"is that enough of an answer for you?"

"no, no, i think i need a little clarification" he smiles as he leans back in, not at all giving up this moment.

from now on, every time you hear that opening theme for that game, you get turned on.

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚

t.shigaraki - sex & super smash bros. by KYLE (beautiful loser)

(remake- check out the og post here!)

if there was one thing tomura was good at, my god, it was pissing you off.

he'd deliberately tease you all the time by hiding your things on tall shelves, stealing your snacks and clothes, basically laying claim on all of your items.

the worst of it was when you watched him as he entered your room, grabbed a hoodie from the hanger, put it on in front of you, and left without a word.

"shiggy, what the fuck, give it back!" you shout at him down the hall as he slumps back towards his room.

"nope, i'm cold and all mine are dirty."

"so go do laundry, you weirdo!" you grab him by the hood before he has a chance to close his door, and he chokes a bit with a laugh as he stumbles backwards.

he finds amusement in your frustration, and mocks you further as he turns around, wrapping his arms around himself to prevent you from stealing the hoodie off his back.

"what are you gonna do, noob?" he makes a stupid face as he laughs, and you huff and try and grab at the hoodie.

"come on, dude, you're gonna get all your gamer stink on my clothes" you fake whine as you chase him, his lanky figure handing him an advantage.

you've got him now- he's cornered in the hall. you lunge and begin to wrestle, eventually tumbling onto the floor in the hallway. you shriek as he tugs your hair, and you pinch his side tightly. the sound he manages to make is barely human, and you laugh a little too hard, letting go and falling into him.

he laughs, his raspy voice lightening as he squints up at you. "you're such a sweat. you own like, eighty hoodies anyways."

you scoff and roll your eyes. "stop fucking around and just give it back"

he shakes his head and challenges you further, his crimson eyes batting up at you with a smug look. he wiggles his fingers as if casting a spell, "you want me soooo bad, oooh." he does his best to keep a straight face as he continues, "you want me, so now you're begging me to take my clothes off oooh".

"they're MY clothes, shig!" you argue as you start pulling the hoodie strings.

he doesn't give a fuck about what you're saying, cause he just keeps going. "you wanna kiss me sooo bad. you're in loveee with me"

yeah, no, he's right. but he doesn't know that-he's just trying you to give him your usual "ew, fuck off" response, and leave him be. too bad now, because you decide to fight fire with fire.

"yeah, you're right." you retaliate, pressing your lips into his before he has a chance to respond. he hiccups in panic, his breath hitching in his chest. his breath is heavy with the taste of energy drinks- its sweet, its actually kind of...nice?

but he was clearly panicking, because his lips are pressed so tightly into a pout, it's kind of pathetic. so you pull away, gauging his reaction-he didn't like that you stopped. he pulls you back in, this kiss hungrier, his lips parting to push his tongue into your mouth desperately.

when you pull away to catch your breaths, you both stand and he drags you into his bedroom, pressing you against his door. he grinds against you with a soft moan, the sounds of his discord chat still going off on his headphones. oops!

when you finish making out (and he's definitely ruined his sweatpants) he asks you if you were serious.

"no, of course not. yes, you fucking idiot."

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚

thank u for the ask <3 sorry its taking me so long to respond to these, im trying my best lol! but this was fun, hopefully spinner isn't too OOC,, tbh they prob all are oh well

[gvnvks]

holding zb1 boys’ faces … !

> pairings: non-idol!zb1 x fem!reader

> warnings: lowercase intended, not proofread

> song recommendation: gladiator by jann

> note: thank yall sm for the notes on my latest post !! its really motivating 🫶🏻 im also working on a lot of requests rn + thinking about doing some smau so yall will be FED 💯 requests r still open but not for long, so if u want to request u need to be quick quick !!

김 jiwoong.

he’s soo confused

enjoys the touch, but can’t help but wonder if something happened for you to act like that

it’s literally not like y’all touch 25/8

nah but really

“what?” poor boy is soooo confused 😭

hides your hands in his

man is so giggly

he looks at his whole world and you look at your whole world

turns his head a little to kiss ur palm…

enough omgggg

장 hao.

homeboy freezes

like literally his whole body just straight up freezes

asks if you need something

he’s kinda embarrassed idk 😟

kiss his moles pls

his face will literally cover in blush

he’s so cute stop rn

he takes ur hand off of his face and leans in to kiss ur cheek girl bye

pls pls pls do it more often to him

성 hanbin.

has the BIGGEST grin EVER i swear to god

he goes a little “oh” and just giggles ……. lawd have mercy.

looks really deep into your eyes like y’all having some kind of a deep convo

like boy it ain’t that serious

but he’s just so in love omg

“you’re so cute” NAH HANBIN YOU’RE THE CUTE ONE HERE

he peppers ur face in little, feathery-like kisses

please where can i get boyfriend like this

he leaves some wet marks (😟) on ur forehead but you don’t mind cause he’s the most adorable human ever

석 matthew.

now bffr

he is the one to cup ur face every now and then

not u

but if the roles swapped one day and you’d be the one holding his face

boy would get so confused

cause girl what the hell are u even doing

like… it’s his job

nah but being fr now

he would be so happy 😭

like literally he would be full of the joys of spring for the rest of the day

he’s so grateful for u ‼️

girl u better keep this man

despite all that he probably has the calmest reaction of them all

probably cuz yall all lovey dovey on a daily basis n hes kinda used to it already

김 taerae.

okay now

he’s literally head over heels for you like

just as hanbin, he would simply go “oh”

has literal hearts in his eyes

and im not even joking

he just stares at you

with that wide smile of his

u can basically see if he brushed his teeth this morning 😭

he would brush his thumbs against ur palms… girl

his heart is literally pounding

have u ever seen a man that’s more in love than him

no u haven’t case closed

리키 ricky.

i know ricky may not seem like it

but i feel like he would be very affectionate

like

maybe not physically

but he will definitely assure you he loves you with his words

and also with gifts sometimes cuz young and rich and allat yk yk

so

when u place ur hands on the sides of his face

at first he gets really confused

then literally just melts into your touch

whispers some i love yous

kisses ur temple. thats what i said.

hes so shameless girl goodbye

hes just so lovable

김 gyuvin.

i dont know but i feel like he wouldn’t be that big on skinship?

i mean yeah of course he enjoys your touch but like

too much of it sometimes can overwhelm him

and you know that

but he was so cute and kissable today that u just couldn’t resist

and simply just

cupped his face

poor boy has never been more embarrassed in his whole entire existence

also the confusion added to it

cause like why so sudden

“are you okay?” NAH ARE YOU OKAY GYUVIN

pls kiss his nose… pls.

YOU CAN HEAR THE WAY HIS BREATH HITCHED

he will basically be embarrassed to look at you for the rest of the day

but don’t get him wrong tho

it’s because he’s so in love with u

박 gunwook.

okay now we’re talking

who would resist holding that pretty face of his

literally no one

asks the most random questions cause he’s so flustered 😭

“are u hungry” “am i missing our anniversary”

okay… its not like yall couple and can hold each other any time without particular reason 💯

takes ur hands and just

kisses your every finger

he goes like thumb *kiss*

index finger *kiss*

all the way to your pinky

also lightly bites on some of them cause he’s random like that

this is so cute

he’s so baby

한 yujin.

cute baby

very cute baby

squish his cheeks

he would be so dramatic if you’d do that 😭

“stop” AND HOMEBOY WOULD JUST GIVE YOU A BLANK STARE

but don’t stop tho pls he really didn’t mean that

he’s just so surprised by the sudden touch and like

he doesn’t know how to react

his heart just goes boom boom boom boom but like one million times faster

and you can tell by the way his ears and cheeks turned bright pink

but this shade really suits him

so do it more often pls

gvnvks © 2023

[niniluvsainz]

LOS ASTROS ☽ mv1

(social media! au)

in which their astrology signs match perfectly well together.

pairings... max verstappen x fem!model!reader

face claim... valentina zenere

warnings... suggestive content, cursing, isa is still with carlos in this (?), probably bad translations (reader speaks spanish)

author's note... this is my first fic so sorry if it's messy! i was listening to becky g's new album 'esquinas' and when i came upon this song i realized i would declare it as my song. it's also such a cute song, give her entire album a listen! also, i recently heard about the rumors about danny and heidi and i really hope they aren't true (there is a part in this where they are mentioned and i was too lazy to change it to someone else). if a part two is suggested, then i'd be happy to write it

maxverstappen1

location: texas, usa

liked by redbullracing, charles_leclerc and others

maxverstappen1 an amazing performance at circuit of the americas! thank you for the support! let's continue pushing for the next race! redbullracing, thank you team once again!

comments

user1 respect for verstappen button >

user2 im so tired of him winning

⤷ user3 keep crying hater

landonorris happy to share the podium with you

⤷ maxverstappen1 as am i, mate

⤷ user4 omg i love their friendship sm

user5 how can someone look so good

⤷ user6 because he's never looked so good

redbullracing happy and proud of you always, max!

yourusername

liked by isahernaez, tinistoessel and others

yourusername la vida recientemente (life lately)

tagged: tinistoessel

comments

isahernaez te extraño, amiga (i miss you, my friend)

⤷ yourusername pronto regreso a españa, para ver cuando nos juntamos! (i'm returning to spain soon, let's plan something!)

tinistoessel las perras que somos (the baddest bitches we are)

⤷ yourusername tienes toda la razon (you are so right)

landonorris oh damn

⤷ yourusername i miss you, noodles

isa: i have news

isa: i have extra tickets for mexico gp

y/n: but i have a tight schedule

y/n: i was just thinking maybe you, me, and carlos could have a night in to catch up

isa: but y/n, you have to come to a race

isa: carlos is also asking for you to accompany us to one

y/n: ugh

y/n: esta bien (fine)

y/n: i'll see what i can clear from my calendar to at least attend sunday's race

y/n: but i still plan on us having a movie night to catch up

isa: claro que si, amor (of course, love)

isa: i'll book ur hotel now

y/n: no tienes que hacer eso, isa (you don't have to do that)

isa: pero yo te invite 💞 (but i invited you)

yourusername

location: cdmx, mexico

liked by maxverstappen1, isahernaez and others

yourusername me encantaste, mexico! mandame taquitos al pastor a españa, por favor! (i loved you, mexico! send me some sheperd-style taquitos to spain, please!)

tagged: isahernaez, francisca.cgomes, alexandrasaintmleux, lilymhe, carlossainz55

comments

user7 where's max's tag tho👀

⤷ user8 right like we see that last post ma'am

isahernaez a la siguiente, amiga! (to the next one, my friend!)

⤷ yourusername ya me dieron mas animas de ir 😏 (i have more encouragement to go now)

user9 y'all notice max started following y/n AND liked the post without the tag?!

⤷ user10 something fishy is going on there

⤷ user11 honestly just waiting on the double date from these four

landonorris added to their story!

caption: so yourusername is wondering if your astrology signs align

replies;

⤷ yourusername this was supposed to stay a secret

⤷ user12 first we find out lando is obsessed with zodiacs, now y/n?!

⤷ user13 who are they tryna see if their stars aligned 🤔

⤷ oscarpiastri is this why i kept hearing you two scream "THEY MATCH" from the other side of hospitality?

⤷ maxverstappen1 y/n is into astrology? hm, maybe i'll look into it

⤷ user14 i love gemini women

maxverstappen1 added to their story!

location: são paulo, brazil

caption: catching rain in brazil☔️

replies;

⤷ user15 MAX EMILIAN WHO'S IS THAT HAND BECAUSE I HAVE BOTH OF MINE ATTACHED TO MY BODY

⤷ landonorris it was rare i was there THIRDWHEELING

⤷ user16 hold up who is that hand and why does that just scream y/n because of the red fingertips

⤷ danielricciardo ew stop you're already showing each other off

⤷ charles_leclerc wait until the lestappen fans come attacking like military soldiers

⤷ carlossainz55 wait is that- THAT'S THE JACKET I GAVE HER FOR HER BIRTHDAY

yourusername

liked by lilymhe, landonorris and others

yourusername se me juntaron las estrellas y los astros

comments

landonorris sure keep bragging about it to the single people

⤷ danielricciardo im not single and i feel single

⤷ heidiberger_ okay.

⤷ danielricciardo NO KEEP GIVINGME SOME SUGA

lilymhe ahhhh sososo happy for u and ur new man ! <3

⤷ yourusername thank u lils 🤍

user17 now you can clearly see she's trying to soft launch but that is the deadpan face of max verstappen

⤷ user18 no it doesn't (im living in delusion because i want max for me)

carlossainz55 quien es el? (who is he)

⤷ isahernaez no nos conmueve eso, carlos (that doesn't concern us)

⤷ yourusername carlossainz55 mi novio (my boyfriend)

maxverstappen1 so astros is also a shortcut word for astrology but also the baseball team the astros

⤷ yourusername exactly, maxie

⤷ user19 SHE HAS A NICKNAME FOR HIM. I REPEAT, SHE HAS A NICKNAME FOR HIM

maxverstappen1 and yourusername

liked by schecoperez, carlossainz55 and others

maxverstappen1 i'm happy shes the gemini to my libra

tagged: yourusername

comments

user20 y/n said soft launch, max said fuck that

user21 I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT

user22 AH NEW SHIP SAILED OFF TODAY AT 13:24 HRS ALL ABOARD THE MAXY/N

⤷ user23 its gonna sink like the titanic

⤷ user24 i hope u go sink like the titanic

landonorris so happy for my fwiends

⤷ yourusername now it's time to find someone for you for the double dates

⤷ user25 I VOLUNTEER! i volunteer as tribute!

user26 now max has two spanish-speaking natives on his ears at all times

⤷ maxverstappen1 yeah i have a mexican who keeps screaming the 'mexicanos al grito de guerra' and an argentinian who moved to spain who keeps slapping my butt like i'm the bull and she's the bullfighter

⤷ yourusername you are literally in the formula one team that is named a 'bull'.

⤷ schecoperez but you love us

⤷ yourusername schecoperez vamos a seguir con el plan de enseñarle todo el vocabulario español (let's continue with the plan to teach him all the spanish vocabulary)

⤷ maxverstappen1 wait i need to google translate what you said

carlossainz55 this is how i found out.

⤷ isahernaez sorry

⤷ yourusername sorry

⤷ maxverstappen1 sorry

⤷ christianhorner sorry

⤷ charles_leclerc i knew before you ?

⤷ carlossainz55 that's the last straw, leclerc.

[lvndrfucks]

Hi! I love your wallows fics sm!! I have a request for Cole and can you do one where the girl is a rockstar of her own band, I’m talking like beabadoobee aesthetic type of girl! Thank you!🤍🪽

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆we go together like the gum on my shoes｡˚🎤𖤐🪽

You first rose to fame after uploading a silly song on the internet. You didn’t think it would go viral overnight, and you certainly didn’t expect to be signed onto a record label because of it. Since then, you’ve made more music and have performed at a few festivals and events. Now, you were planning your first ever tour.

There was a bit of a debacle trying to choose your opening act until you decided to ask the fans. After hours of listening to music, there was one band that really stuck out to you. They were already pretty popular, but you had already become a fan of their music just by listening to one song.

So, you decided to contact them.

It was the first show on tour. You could hardly sleep the night before from excitement and nerves, so getting up early was a little difficult with only four hours of sleep. You still managed to put on a smile, though.

“Good morning,” you greeted the opening act band.

“Morning. Ready for tonight,” Braeden asked with a smile.

“Yeah. It’s your big night,” Dylan added.

You sighed. “I’m a little nervous, but I know that’s normal.”

“You’re gonna do great,” Cole assured.

You grinned at him gratefully. “Have you guys done soundcheck yet?”

“We’re about to go up right now. Are you gonna watch?”

“Yeah. I’m just going to make some coffee first.”

“Oh,” Cole revealed a second coffee cup, “I already made you some.”

Your eyebrows raised in surprise. “Thank you. Is there—“

“Two sugars, three creamers.”

He knew your coffee order.

Off to the side, Braeden and Dylan exchanged knowing glances and left you two for the moment.

You took the coffee from Cole and sipped lightly, also trying to hide the wide set smile growing on your face.

“It’s perfect. Thank you,” you said.

Cole waved his hand. “I mean, I was a barista once.” You chuckled as the two of you walked out of the green room.

Since meeting the members of Wallows, the boys and the rest of the band had been very kind and sweet. You got along with all of them right off the bat. Since they had more experience touring and such, you often went to them for advice or any second thoughts. They were always helpful with their feedback to ensure everything went smoothly.

It was fun watching them perform. They all had that naturally confident stage presence. You always found yourself observing from the side. No matter how many times you heard the same songs being played, you didn’t think it was possible to get sick of them.

During a small break, Cole beckoned you over with a wave. The rest of the guys were busy with their own things as you walked over.

“Have you ever played drums,” he asked.

You shook your head. “I barely know a simple rythmn.”

He suddenly stood up and gestured to his seat. You laughed a bit while sitting down. He handed you his drumsticks. You felt a little bit awkward as you held them. Cole seemed to notice.

“Here.” He adjusted your fingers. Your jaw unconsciously clenched under his touch. “This is just one of the ways to hold them.”

“Thanks.” You had a hard time looking him in the eye.

Cole spent the next few minutes explaining the basics. You nodded along, listening intently. Every time he demonstrated a move, you did the same. It gained the attention of the others as they would glance back at the two of you. They all had the same thought with matching smiles.

“This is a lot to remember,” you chuckled and stood up, handing Cole back his drumsticks.

“Well, we have all of tour to practice,” he replied.

“Who knows, maybe one day I’ll come up and steal your spot,” you teased.

Cole scoffed jokingly. “I’d like to see you try.” You giggled while walking away, unaware of his stare on your lingering figure.

You could hear the chatter of the audience. It was a full house. Everyone was hyped after Wallows set, which made you even more nervous.

What if they didn’t like you? What if they only came for Wallows and left before you could go on stage? What if you didn’t do a good job like you thought you would?

All these questions circled your head. You felt like you were going to explode. There was that tight feeling in your chest and pressure on your head. It felt like you couldn’t breathe.

Someone knocked on the door, making you jump. Cole stuck his head in.

“Hey. We were looking for you. Are you okay?”

“No,” you immediately bursted. “I can’t go out there. What if something goes wrong? What I forget the lyrics? What if my voice cracks? What if—“

“Hey, hey,” Cole shut the door behind him and stood in front of you, “you’re gonna do amazing. All those people out there are here for you. And so are we.” He took your hands in his. “You’re shaking.”

“I’m nervous.” You breathed out a chuckle. “I don’t know why considering I’ve preformed before, but it’s different now because I have expectations to meet and I don’t know how it’s going to go. It could all go horribly wrong and then, my life is over. Maybe I should cancel—“

You gasped as Cole’s lips pressed against yours. You didn’t move. He pulled away after a few seconds. There was a look of disbelief on his face.

“I…I don’t know why I did that,” he admitted. “You were talking so fast and I had to make you stop. Not in like a rude way, but so you wouldn’t freak yourself out more. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to overstep or anything—“

You surprised him and yourself as you lurched forward. Your arms wrapped around his neck while his hands settled on your waist. You could feel your body began to grow hot as the two of you moved in sync.

“Hey, guys— Woah.”

The two of you quickly pulled away and took a step back. Your guitarist looked back and forth between you and Cole.

“Um, we go on in five, so…yeah. I’m gonna go.” He shut the door behind him.

You pursed your lips. Cole scratched the back of his neck, his eyes darting from you to the floor rapidly.

“We should probably go,” he uttered.

You hummed while nodding. He held open the door for you to walk out first.

“Oh, and thanks, by the way,” you paused to face him. “I think you definitely helped calm my nerves.” You started walking away as Cole couldn’t help but grin.

hera speaks!

i’m actually so surprised at the amount of requests i’ve gotten these past few days! i promise i’m working on them, it will just take some time. thank you guys for the patience and support <3

also i loved this request bc i saw beabadoobee on tour and remember thinking that her songs definitely matched wallows vibes lol

[fairyofshampgyu]

OMG SANCUARYYYSJDHH!!$) !!<3

My ranking so far 🤭:

1. DANGER - HOLY SHIT BRO SO FUCKING GOODNSJDN THE BASS? THE RAP? yummy yummy yummy my fav song ITS SO GROOVY. WHEN YEONJUN SAID TOMORROW BY TOGETHER AT THE START ?OMG MOANING. I love the part when, idk what they were saying but the melody in the part ‘something korean, so obsessed’ like I like how it’s a little minor and descends idk how to explain. txt are so good at r&b we love you beomgyu for being the main lyricist on this, he ate it up (the lyrics ‘deeper into me?’ What was…that beomgyu? 🤔🤔🧐…) also I love the little short backing vocal interjections in the pre chorus that ascend and descend they bless my ears

2. Over the moon - over the moon is so good! I love the little sparkles you can hear in the background at the start of the verses it’s so pretty, and I love the ethereal like intro, BEOMGYU STARTING AGAINSJDHD !, bass is good in this and I love the backing vocals they’re so heavenly and the harmonies make me float. Also I just love the lyrics to this song, they’re so pretty and so good for a love song like they’re actually so romantic but not in a cringe way WORD PAINTING TOO ! The over the moooonn over the starrrsss part is so pretty I love soobins falsetto. And also I love the call and response like parts with sookai and taegyu 😩😩 BUT ☹️! Icl I was slightly underwhelmed listening to it the first time, I think I hyped it up too much and the teaser kind of gave away the whole song 😭 it’s way too short 👎 I really wanted some new material, instrumental section maybe, a bridge but it’s lowkey just verse chorus, verse chorus, end. I think there was way more they could have done with this song bc it’s so good IF THEY ADDED JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE IT COULD HAVE BEEN AN ABSOLUTE MASTERPIECE but even without i really love this song so much

3. Forty one winks- INCOMING !!🗣️ chill like r&b, I knew i would love this song !! Sounds like it would have been on the freeze album. This song is very fun and I will be listening to this all the time to make me happy it’s very feel good !! You can kind of hear this little sparkley like thing in the keys sometimes in the background like in over the moon and I love that. I love the adlibs for this song too !! Ooh and the strings in the outro !! Love that

4. Heaven- cute and fun!! I really loved this song more than I expected I would, I love the verses and melodies in the verses 😭😭

5. Resist - resist being this low seems criminal but every single song was too good tbh idk whether to put this is as 4 or 5 or 3 😭. I knew I was going to love this song but omg I didn’t expect the genre! After the beat kicks in it really changes but it’s toooo good I love the guitar chords in the verses at the start of every bar ? and the guitar in the intro and I love the high notes in this song. I love how txt do different styles and genres AND PULL IT OFF they make kpop so fun for me 😭😭😩 plus I just like the rhythms in this song

6. Higher than heaven— I really liked this song more than I expected bc icl I was not much of an early 2010s pop boy band fan back then but I love that txt did that they really suit it. I really love the melodies in the verses so much and even the chorus is fine for me. But I really don’t like when they sing HIGH. HIGH. HIGHHHHH !, that part really kinda annoys my brain sm like it’s kind of so jarring to me 😭😭 I’m sorry it hurts my ears a little but other than that THE SONG IS SO GOOD I LOVE EVERY OTHER PART BESIDES THAT 😭😭 THE BRIDGE WITH KAI AND TAEHYUN IS SO ETHEREAL TOO AND THE BACKING VOCALSSJJDHD!! it’s just that one part for me personally 😭😭

[ssaaaronmontgomery]

feral hotch friday!!

ok ok so the song shameless by Camila Cabello the part where it says “there’s just inches in between us i want you to give in”

Imagine Hotch and reader having sm tension like everywhere and there’s like those looks and the slight touches and then one day in hotches office he’s about to walk out she’s walking in and there’s barley space between them and then he’s like fuck it and they kiss 🌚🌚

Tension

Warning: Brief hurt/comfort, pining, making out in Aaron's office 🤭, fluff, slightly suggestive at the end, I think that's all!

Word count: 1.7k

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader

A/n: This feels feral in some soft of sfw way???? And I love it tbh 🤭. This one WAS proofread for a change! This one is sfw<3. Gave this more plot than I meant to but that's okay 🤭. Let me know what you think 🫶.

Forever tags: @greg-montgomery @boredelle @hotchsdoormat @ssahotchnerr @cr1minalskies @beardedhotchh @hotchnerbau @ssamorganhotchner @mrs-ssa-hotch @canuck-eh @luvehotch @callm3c0nfus3d

Hotch: @14buddy22 @pastanoodles11

Let me know if you want to be added to my tags 🫶

Months had gone by with this tension between the two of you. Something was there and it only grew with time. It was always lingering looks and touches that weren't entirely innocent. They lasted a little longer than either of you would deem appropriate.

You were attracted to Hotch as soon as you met him. He was a handsome man and not only was he good looking but he was smart and that just made him even better. The problem was that he is forbidden. He is a forbidden fruit to you just as you are to him and you both know it. It's why it never went any further than those long looks and little touches in the last six months, though they did become more frequent.

The first time it happened you had been working with the BAU for about a month. It was just his hand bumping yours when he reached for a file you had your hand resting on. It was a case everyone had been working hard on and yet no one could figure out who the unsub was. The team all sitting at a table going through stacks of files and when Hotch reached for the file accidentally touching your hand in the process, he didn't move it right away. You both looked at where your hands were touching and then at each other but after a moment he moved his away, file forgotten. You were both exhausted and neither of you really thought too much of it at the time. Even if you both felt warm and fluttery inside, the other didn't know it.

The second time something of this nature happened was when you were wearing something a little different from your regular work attire. It had been a few months since you'd joined the team.

You, JJ, Penelope, and Emily had all been out for a girl's night when another case came up. You didn't have time to change before coming in so you were stuck wearing a skirt that was a little on the shorter side and a top that showed a little more until you had the chance to get something more appropriate out of your go-bag. All Hotch had ever seen you in was your work clothes so to say he was a bit surprised by your more revealing outfit would be an understatement. He couldn't keep his eyes off of you and he knew you were aware but again neither of you mentioned anything.

Of course you both had other, smaller moments between but these were the ones that were most memorable for the two of you.

The third time was when you sat next to each other on the jet. This time it was after a case had ended poorly. Everyone felt very low. You had been on the team for five months now and the job finally started to crack you a little.

You were sitting in the back alone. It was a more personal case for you. It hit you a little harder than most of the team and Hotch could see that. He didn't know why it did, he wasn't even sure if you knew why it hurt you more. Maybe it was just really dark and it had finally taken a toll on you. Whatever it was, he wanted to be there for you. He wanted to offer you comfort even if you two weren't very close.

In truth, Hotch tried to avoid you sometimes. He didn't want to let his feelings and emotions win. Not when it could drastically change your professional relationship or put one or both of you in a difficult position regarding your jobs.

But seeing you alone and hurting was something he wouldn't let you go through. Maybe he couldn't stop the hurt you felt but he could keep you from going through it alone. So he pushed his feelings aside and sat next to you.

In all five months of being on the team not once had the two of you ever sat beside each other on the plane. Not a single time. Other places where he wouldn't be next to you quite as long? Yes. But never on the jet where it would be much longer and closer. So when he did, it shocked you. You looked up at him and he could see the tears in your eyes. He could see how your shoulders slumped and how defeated you looked. He had never seen you look this way and it broke his heart to see it now.

As soon as he put his hand on your shoulder you melted into his side and he held you close. It was a little awkward but it was still comforting. It was awkward because you two hardly ever spoke unless it was work related and the only touches either of you had ever shared were hands bumping or his resting on your lower back when he was moving around you or ushering you somewhere.

So feeling a bit odd the first time he completely embraced you was understandable. Especially when he hardly ever embraced anyone on his team. He likes you and he has you so close. He's holding you the way he's wanted to since the moment he met you, not with the circumstances he wished for but holding you and comforting you nonetheless. He would kiss you if he thought it could help but this is far from the right time or place for that. You don't need his lips right now. You just need his arms around you and that's what he'll give you.

From there the touches only continued to grow. To linger more and more. Happening more often. As would the looks. Everything between you two was tense but also...a sort of love story. Someone you want but can't have. Someone you need but is forbidden to you. It's not fair. There is clearly something there. It's clear to most but surprisingly no one has commented on it.

Hotch made it a point to leave the office a little earlier more often because he knew it meant running into you on the way to his car. Normally he would be there so late that everyone else was gone before he left. He tried to time his departure from his office just right so he would get to walk with you as you left. When you walked to your separate cars he would watch you for a moment before finally leaving.

You wouldn't say it was a routine for him to walk you to your car because it wasn't every single day. More like once or twice a week when there wasn't a case. And technically he didn't walk you to your car but rather walked beside you until you stopped at yours and he kept walking until he reached his. You always waved goodbye to him once you got to your car though. It always made him smile.

Or the number of times he brought you your favourite coffee. He would make sure to hand it to you instead of setting it down next to you. This way his fingers were bound to brush against yours as he transferred the cup to your hands from his. The way you always smiled at him and looked into his eyes as you thanked him. It brightened you up and in turn it did the same to him. He would always return your warm smile with one of his own. Of course watching you enjoy your first sip before telling you to have a good day and leaving to busy himself in his office.

He always did it during cases because it helped you relax when you were stressed. Knowing he was there and thinking of you. It may have eased the tension from the case but it only added to the weird little thing you two had going.

Today you had to drop something off with Hotch before heading out for the day. When you got to his office door you knocked before walking right in and to your surprise, Aaron was trying to walk out. You nearly collided with each other. Aaron gently gripped your arms to steady you after you had stumbled slightly.

Your faces so close together. Closer than they ever had been. Even when he held you on the jet your face wasn't this close to his. You could feel his breath fanning across your face and he could feel yours.

"Hotch! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to-"

You start to explain and apologise to him but before you can finish getting your words out you feel his warm chapped lips pressing against yours. For the first few seconds it is timid but once you realise what is happening and you are able to find your footing again, you kiss him back. It quickly fills with passion. You can feel the need and desperation as you both move your lips together. When he swipes his tongue across your lip and you allow him in you can feel the desire grow more and more.

The kiss only builds. Everything you and Aaron have been pushing down for months now finally coming to the surface. Your hands tangle in each other's hair as you both try to deepen it. One of his hands reaches around to your lower back and presses you against him more firmly before breaking the kiss. You both needed the break to breathe. All either of you can hear is the panting coming from each other.

He leans in and kisses you briefly before parting again and pressing his forehead to yours. Both of you are still trying to catch your breath. When he speaks you can feel the warmth of his quicker breaths against your lips and it makes you tingle.

"Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to do that, y/n?" Another chaste kiss to your lips.

"No. But if it's as long as I've wanted you to then it's since we first met." He chuckles a little and kisses your cheek and then forehead. "That sounds about right."

"I wish you had done it sooner." You smile at him and he grins.

"Well, you have me now. Maybe we should get out of the office and see what else we've been missing out on?" He raises his eyebrows and smirks slightly. He still has you pressed against him. "Let's not waste another second."

[base0h]

Sorry if I bother you or send you something a bit suck but I wanted to know if it was possible to you to do a hcs (or other forma, it doesn’t matter) with shanks and mihawk with a s/o who can copying everything (Haki, Mouvement, Physic, Devil power fruit, Everything) thanks to a rare Devil fruit..? Than you if you make it and sorry if it’s not corespondent to your blog or rules. 🐙

a/n - watch shanks fall in love with himself 💀 I added Law bec why not 💜

Warnings ⚠️ - g/n reader, s/o has copy copy no mi (copy fruit)

- At first, he thought this was some twisted nightmare where he met himself… “Oh god. It’s me.” He was so disgusted 😭 he was also so embarrassed whenever you copied his abilities, hearing you say “room” and “shambles” made him reconsider what he named his techniques. 💀

- “Room…” -law “SHAMBLES!” -you

- “excuse me y/n. It’s my attack.” Man was offended, you literally interrupted him lmfao 😂 he was all like: bitch don’t take away my spotlight it’s the only thing I have

- “But it’s cool when I get to say it!” He also hates the way his voice sounds now because of this. Overall, he’s very embarrassed of himself, so as a result, you do not use your ability around him much. BUT- he does appreciate it when the marines start targeting you instead of him 🤭

- “LAW. HELP!”

- “Huh? I’m not Law wdym?”

- “YOU EMO MOTHERFU- I WILL THROW AWAY YOUR GERMA 66 FIGURES.”

- “NO-!”

- (ahem, I will calm down)

- enjoys it but also REALLY hates it at the same time. Perona gets you two confused all the time, she’ll ask you where Mihawk’s wallet is and you have to remind her of your abilities. “HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHEN YOU BOTH LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME?!”

- “Scars on the back are a swordsman’s shame!” You said, holding Mihawk’s sword in front of a pirate who had tried to take over the island. Your physique and features were perfect, an amazing copy of Dracule Mihawk himself

- “Y/n, I do not say that. The young roronoa says that. If you do something, get it right.” He said, sipping his wine while reading a newspaper under his umbrella. You glared at the man, turning back into your normal self before shoving the pirate off the island with ease

- “Can you at least admit that I am literally a perfect copy of you-?”

- “No, because you’re not.”

- “Why are you so difficult?”

- “Why are you so talented in things that do not matter?”

- “…You think I’m talented? 😖🥹”

- shanks absolutely adores the fact that yo have this ability. It makes for amazing party tricks! Turn into Uta and sing a beautiful song? Easy. Turn into Rayleigh so you can scold him? Hell yeah.

- you turned into him one day, and he was impressed. With himself 💀 “Damn- I look good!” -_- You had enough of him looking at you and complimenting HIS looks. So you turned into Rayleigh, and that my friend, is how you get your red haired man to shut the fuck up.

- “Shanks, do the dishes before I punch you.”

- “Yes sir.”

- man is deathly afraid of Rayleigh’s punch- 🤪 so everytime he starts fo be rude in any way, you turn into Rayleigh, it always works! Except turning into the dark king isn’t exactly great for camouflage against marines.

- they ended up seeing you and chasing you around since you looked like Rayleigh. “I’m not Rayleigh! I’m y/n l/n of the red haired pirates!” They stopped in their tracks, “Y/N L/N! THE LEGENDARY PIRATE?! GET THEM!” That plan of yours severely backfired, they ended up calling reinforcements.

- “Rayleigh you need some help down there?” Shanks asked with the literal most smug grin on his face. You got the best idea, while the marines were confused, you turned into a random soldier to blend in. They then caught sight of shanks and started going after him instead. Man did not think to argue with you ever again.

- “Baby I’m sorry 😭 please don’t ignore me I need love.”

don’t give him hugs

a/n - I loved this idea sm 🤭

[leclsrc]

hi audreeey!!! could i get a drabble where charles and reader are on a basic (not "basic" but u get me) dinner date and they're just all capital F Fond... like maybe even pretending theyre married bc they love the other's company sm... I LOVE U

begin again – cl16

Tonight is different. Tonight is special. title from this

auds here... my quasi-apology for being mia-ish. also i am writing a long form fic it's just taking agesss as i'm traveling rn (its nearly done) but know that I LOVE U ALL... like crazy. this is p long for a drabble but i missed writing them a lot! love u guys n i hope i did this adorable prompt justice

He says something in French, pointing at something on the menu. Then he flips the page and points at a bold red image of a bottle, mouthing its name in perfect fluency. Two glasses, he adds. One for the entree, another for dessert.

“Red wine?” You ask, smiling. Charles doesn’t usually order wine.

“Well,” he says, beaming at you and then the waiter, “tonight is special for us.”

You have to wrestle with the grin that fights its way onto your lips, but you admit valiant defeat. “Very special indeed.”

The waiter departs and you recline, mind still racing. It’s only halted by a polite voice from your left—the girl at the table beside yours, asking with meek timidity: wedding tomorrow? She has this giddy smile on her face, like it’s her wedding or her dinner; her husband-or-boyfriend across her just smiles sheepishly. Sorry. I’m curious.

“Oh,” you say quietly, humming. “I got promoted.”

“And…” Charles says, lookin at you like you share a lovely little inside joke.

Your lips grow. “And?”

“This lovely girl doesn’t remember, but I proposed to her this time last year.” He gestures to your left hand. A ring, blending in with the others you usually wear, sparkles in the low light of the restaurant.

Proposed. Your eyes stay on him even as he looks away, devoting his attention to the conversation at hand. Then you nod, a few times, soft bobs of your head. “We’re having a June wedding,” you say fondly to the girl at the table adjacent. You love the way she lights up at the mention of it, at the added detail—she asks for more in accented English.

“How did you propose?” She turns to the guy in front of her, who’s smiling dopily. “We’ve been together a year, so he could use some ideas for the future, if you know what I mean.” They both share a laugh.

Charles hums, recalling the plan he’s thought of a million times over. He conjures the images of it, the memories of mapping everything out, perfecting every last minute detail. “I did it at our house. We live in Monaco, in this, ah—this nice, wide place on a hill.” You remember seeing the house for the first time, from Charles’ car. “I did not want a big fuss around it. I knew I wanted it to be just us.”

“Just us,” you murmur along, nodding. You’ve always known it’s what he wanted for both of you. Just you two against the world.

“So I bought her flowers, lit some candles, and we sat on the couch.” He pauses, like the next few moments are so sacred and so lovely that they deserve to be heard by nobody but you two. But if Charles is anything, he’s loud—loud when he talks, yells; loud when he loves. “And I played our favorite song, Harvest Moon,and I sat next to her and just talked, and I said it. I know it doesn’t sound romantic—”

“—but I cried,” you cut in, looking right at him. Cut off, his eyes flit to you, softening when they see your smiling expression. “I cried like a baby. He was… he meant every word he said. And I was lucky, I guess, that he knows me well enough to, you know—know exactly what I want.” The conversation ebbs into quiet a little bit after that, but you catch bits of how adorable and a June wedding from their own talk.

You eat in relative peace afterward—he talks about a funny story involving Carlos and stolen underwear from the gym locker room. You laugh, bubbling up your champagne, and Charles zips through two glasses of his own drink. Tonight is special, and warm, and you’re in France, and wine seems to be synonymous with the country, and everything, if just for now, makes perfect sense.

In between finishing dessert and the bill’s arrival, when the couple beside you have said their goodbyes and congratulations, and the restaurant has begun to quell its general noise, he takes your idle hand on the table. You look up from where you’d been staring at the puddle of tiramisu filling on your plate.

He’s staring. Charles is always aware of how often and how long he stares, extended gazes of your beautiful features. The awareness does not, however, cause the frequency to wane in the slightest. He still finds himself constantly enthralled by you. And even when he’s away, in a car going a million miles a minute, he finds you in his daydreams. That smile. 

Nothing, he says with a quaint smile. I love you.

The bill comes and he, of course, covers it—before you even get the chance to slide your card onto the table. You fuss over it. He stares at you like you’re worth everything and more and goes, with a little laugh, I just need a kiss.

His car is parked outside, valet this time, but the cobblestone is so inviting and quiet that he pays an extra few euros to let you both walk around first. You’re not the only couple along the Seine—in fact, you’re one of many, but your shared, hushed laughs make you both feel like you’re by yourselves. Charles knows all the detours, can pinpoint buildings from different vantage points, takes you on a voyage of Paris all his own. You will look back on this one day and think—your maps of cities, your maps of places, they’ve all been charted by him. 

He keeps insisting tonight should be special, like he’s trying to convince you. But you know just as well how special tonight is, how different it is from all the nights previous. You’re just quiet, you suppose, because you’d prefer to bask in this specialty, in Charles. You’re quiet because if you open your mouth for more than ten seconds, you’re going to spill your entire self out to the city. Tomorrow night will not be tonight, just as yesterday night was not tonight. This is just tonight. 

You’re guided through the cobblestone streets, arm around your waist. You’re so overcome with love you feel like hugging him, just now, just here in the middle of the street, breathe him in and sigh out little I love yous until somebody has to pass through, grunting about how PDA has gone too far.

“You know how…” he starts, and every time he starts a sentence that way, it’s almost always followed by something fairly nonsensical. You know how turtles can fly? You know how Van Gogh was in an affair with Mona Lisa? You know how the latest episode of The Kardashians had Kim and Kourtney fighting? You smile, laughing already, gesturing for him to proceed. “How we see the stars nearly every night?”

You hum.

“So sometimes, we forget they’re pretty. We think, oh, bah, stars. And then a few weeks, or months, later, we look up on a random evening and we’re shocked again. We go, wow, stars. They are beautiful.” He clutches at his heart to convey the emotion he’s describing.

“Yeah, what about?” You ask amusedly, turning slightly to him. 

“That is how I feel when I see you. Every time. That feeling when you see the stars after weeks.”

You breathe one, slippery inhale and then it leaves you shaky, wet, trembling. Your eyes tack themselves onto the stars. A chill rolls through you at the knowledge that you remind him of something so confusing, so beautiful, so strange. “I—God. I love you, you know.”

“Did you like my story?” He asks. He maintains his smile, his attitude, his goofiness. His little attempt to make you feel better. Unfortunately, it works every time without fail. You sniffle and roll your eyes, thankful that you haven’t devolved into a sobbing mess.

Then for the first time tonight, he breaks the precarious, near-perfect illusion: “You know, that is how I would really propose to you if I did it. I did give you that ring, remember?”

“I know,” you whisper, trying to fight tears. “I remember.”

“Don’t cry,” he quells softly. You keep freezing to dab at the corners of your eyes. He responds by pulling you into a side street so you don’t block anyone’s walk, allowing you to lean against the lamppost so he towers above you, eyes etched dark, saturated with genuine concern. “Come on, darling.”

“Charles,” you say thinly, and you’ve gone from coherent sentences to weak pleads. 

“Don’t cry.” It’s all he can say, gentle and loving and Charles. “It’s a special night.” It is a special night. It’s the night before your first day at your job across the globe.

It’s your last night in Europe, your last night before you leave, your last night before Charles becomes nothing but an apparition of your past. You’re beginning to realize how foolish this plan was, this wrecked and stupid plan, but God if you didn’t love how real it all felt. It felt like bliss, being a great big pretender.

It was—it should be a month ago now, give or take. You’d gotten the offer, accepted it, told Charles about it, and then you both had to sit with the idea of living across the world from each other. You’d wrestled with plans vis-a-vis your relationship, with timezones and the demand that came with the first year on the job. In the end it was something amicable.

In the end, it ended—but not without one last night together, stretching your dreams and future fantasies to their limit.

Charles will always love you like it’s his last chance to do so. He figures that means letting you fly, letting you pursue things that, if you didn’t, would keep you tethered to the same old things. So even if it rips him apart, and even if all he wants to do is drop everything and dance with you, to the quaint Paris traffic—he remains ever the reassuring one.

He remains, forever, the storyteller, the smiling figure that takes your hand across the table and squeezes once to say he loves you. The loud guy who would’ve, if he could, proposed in your now-sold house, surrounded by candles and music. You wish he could love you longer. You know he always will, in the same way you know the nature of his love will inevitably change when enough time passes.

“Things will change,” you say weakly.

“They will always change.”

“And will you remember me after all of it?”

“I will love you after all of it. I’ve loved you through everything else.” He says, pressing a gentle kiss to your eye. “You know that, right? I’ll just do it from afar this time.”

You swear, if love and hope and being young were ever enough to make things work, you swear—this would’ve worked. But the universe reminds you time and again that they are not.

So, when you kiss Charles for the last time, his eyes are twinkling with Paris moonlight, his lips taste like wine, and you get the special chance to relish in what once was, and what will never be again.

[thecreelhouse]

tramps like us

Paring: Gator Tillman x Fem!Reader

Summary: You finally marry your best friend, and it’s more than you could ever dream of.

Includes: tooth rotting fluff, language, alcohol & weed mentions, no y/n- reader is still affectionately called Sunshine by her friends and Darlin’ by Gator, some hurt/comfort (heavy on the comfort), pre-wedding antics, The Big Day™️, honeymoon, smut (mostly soft), and a few surprises in the wedding scene 🥰

WC: 17.8k (not sorry)

〘 series masterlist ✧.┊this is a sequel to part time soulmate, full time problem ✧.┊listen to the series playlist ✧. wedding playlist┊read on AO3〙

A note regarding details, characterization, etc. (since some of y’all can’t be fucked to ignore fics you don’t care for)

A/N: When I started writing TLU a year ago, this was the chapter that kinda kicked it all off. This fic was only supposed to be a sweet lil’ one shot, but I couldn’t stop writing, couldn’t stop adding to this. It’s bittersweet, but this is the second to last chapter of this series! these last two are my sickeningly fluffy take on a happy ending for Gator, and I’m so glad I wasn’t the only one who wanted some kind of positive outcome for him. I don’t want to say too much more and spoil anything, but thank you to anyone who has stuck with this from the start, or even if you’re a new reader— I appreciate all y’all and all the love and support you’ve given this fic. love y’all sm, happy reading 💖🥹

chapter 11 ✧.┊

I don’t mind - defeater

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

⋆｡♪ and I don’t mind / if we take our time / ‘cause I’m all yours / if you’re all mine ♬₊˚.

“Y’know, we don’t have to drink tonight.”

Gator throws a puzzled look over his shoulder from his spot by the stove; he insisted on waking up early to make pancakes for everyone, which meant you were dragged downstairs to help.

“Huh? Why not? It’s New Years Eve.”

“Uh, your eye?” Frowning, you sit up from your spot at the kitchen island. “I know it’s okay sometimes, but is— would it bother you? ‘Cause I can totally stay sober tonight— actually, scratch that, I will be sober tonight. Ain’t fun leavin’ you out.”

“S’okay, haven’t drank in awhile, ‘member?” He softens over your concern when it doesn’t fade. Turning the burner off, he turns to face you. “I’ve been careful, I promise.”

You nod blankly, distracted by how cute he looks; gaze still shrouded in sleep, with a reassuring smile and bed head, untying the apron over his sweats—  hell must’ve frozen over for him to even wear one.

“Darlin’, you good?”

“Just never thought I’d see the day where you’re wearin’ an apron,” You tease, wandering over to him to wrap your arms around his waist. “S’cute. You tryin’ to be my house husband, or something?”

“Fuck off, I didn’t wanna get batter on my clothes!” He grumbles into a laugh, returning the hug. “You’d like that, huh? Me bein’ your stay-at-home trophy husband?” The two of you fall into a fit of giggles and snickers. “Gotta marry me first, I think.”

“Next year sounds good, I think. You free?”

“Think so,” He grins sleepily down at you. “Next year’s right around the corner, anyway—“

“Oh my god, you two are disgusting.”

Gator’s face drops into annoyance, while you bury your face into his shoulder, muffling more noises of amusement.

“Yeah, mornin’ to you too, Ty.” He flips the younger man off, but you pull his hand down.

“Be nice!”

“Nah, s’all good,” Ty mumbles tiredly, grabbing cold brew from the fridge. “Your fiancé is a shitbird, anyway.”

“Hey, that’s my insult—“

“Not anymore,” he sing-songs with a grin.

“This might be worse than when Ivy tried making ‘girlie pop’ a thing,” you mutter.

“It is, just ain’t a thing for you old farts.”

Now you’re the one flipping Ty off, but he just snickers, shuffling away to the table with his coffee. Gator glances at you, holding a finger up to wait a minute while he slips away from your grasp. 

You already know where this is going; Gator had something important to ask Ty, just never found the time or place for it. Now seems like a good time as any, before everyone else wakes up. So, you back off, give them space, busy yourself with gathering tableware for breakfast.

“Got a question for ya’,” He sits in a chair next to Ty, whose eyes grow wide.

“Should I be worried?”

“Huh? No, s’good— Jesus, did you already drink all that?” Gator nods to the empty coffee cup in front of Ty, and the younger man shrugs. 

“Yeah, probably shouldn’t have, ‘cause it makes my brain feel like it’s vibrating with all that caffeine—“ Ty snorts, waving his hands. “Anyway, what’s up?”

Gator avoids making eye contact, weirdly nervous to ask, even has a second guess or two; he leans back in the chair, slumping slightly, hands folded over himself while twiddling his thumbs. “Would you, uh,” He rubs his nose; a nervous habit he’s picked up over time, since you were kids. “So… for the wedding… you wanna be my best man?”

Ty cocks his head, narrowing his eyes at Gator, who dares to look back. “Is this a prank?”

“What? Dude, no way, m’serious.”

The younger of the two’s insecure side begins to creep out, “Why me?”

Without skipping a beat, Gator answers with a shrug, “‘Cause you’re my bro.”

A snort slips out of Ty, though it isn’t in mockery, more in disbelief. “Like your bestie, or an actual brother?”

Gator huffs out a laugh, brows scrunching together. “Both?”

“This ain’t like… a pity thing, is it? You’re not doing this to absolve your guilt for being a shithead back in the day, right?”

The older man can’t even be upset with Ty for asking; based off past stories Gator’s opened up about, his instinct to be cautious is understandable.

“Nope. M’askin’ ‘cause I trust ya’, and aside from Sunshine over there, who’s definitely listening—“

“I am not!” You holler from the room over, cringing at the way you give yourself away.

“Uh-huh, anyway.” The two men snicker as Gator finishes his thought, “You’re my best friend, too. Ya’ also didn’t need to give me a chance to turn shit around, but you and everyone else did—“

“Oh, christ, you really got soft moving out here,” Ty grins, like the little shithead he is, hopping out of his chair to tackle Gator in a bear hug. He huffs out an “Oof!” but hugs back with a relieved smile. Ty finally responds, “Hell yeah I’ll be your best man.”

“Yeah?!”

“There’s one problem though,” Ty backs off, with a grimace and a shrug. “I dunno how to tie a bowtie.”

Throwing his head back against the chair, Gator laughs heartily; it’s a sound you’ve grown to adore since he’s moved in with you, never hearing it back home.

“Man, I don’t fuckin’ know how to either.”

“You’re both lucky I know how to,” Miles snarks with a grin, strolling into the dining room. 

Gator smirks, “You wanna be a fancy ass groomsman?”

“Oh, absolutely.” He pulls out a chair for himself across the other two. “I’m all in.”

Gator overhears Ivy in the kitchen, quietly scolding you, “Girl, don’t— ew— don’t cry over the pancakes, you’re gonna make ‘em all damp, and shit.” 

The beautiful sound of his genuine laugh echos through the house.

•·················•·················•

Twenty minutes to midnight, Bea’s annual New Year’s Eve party began to wind down; you and your friends are cozied up in the living room, watching the livestream on TV as it displays waves of tourists crammed together in Times Square. Bea, Opal, and their friends were scattered throughout the kitchen and dining room.

Drinks in hand, uncomfortable shoes kicked off and long forgotten, everyone’s still dressed nicely while cuddling pillows and curled up under blankets. The broadcast drones on as background noise, until Gator is mesmerized by the televised joy, realizing how close he is now to the place he always watched on New Year’s Eve growing up.

Well, more like when the two of you had sleepovers as kids, staying up past bedtime to watch. You’d stare in awe at the fuzzy, black and white image of the ball dropping with the countdown, tucked under one blanket with his portable TV; the antenna poked upward, almost pitching a tent shape under the fabric, while he kept the volume barely audible as you’d both pretend to already be asleep. It was one of your little shared traditions, a lifeline to reality while you both were drowning in closed-minded, abusive, religious bullshit. 

“So…” he clears his throat before asking curiously, “y’all don’t go to see the ball drop at midnight?”Everyone stares at him like he’s grown three heads. “Why are we watchin’ it on TV instead of watching it there?”

Bless his sheltered, midwestern heart.

“Oh…” You shake your head, cringing. “Sweetheart, no—“

“What? Ew, fuck no,” Jinx grimaces from her spot on the floor, while Ty, who’s sprawled out on the infamous green couch, barks out a sharp laugh.

“I’d rather be straight than ever deal with that touristy disaster.”

You shoot a bewildered stare at him. “Those two things aren’t even related—“

“But it’s true!”

Ivy gags, “If I were to ever set foot in Times Square, it’d be against my own damn will.”

“Heard,” Miles nods over to her. “Couldn’t fuckin’ pay me all the money in the world to stand out in that cold for hours.”

“In one spot, mind you.” Flor adds, “If you leave to find somewhere to piss, you’re screwed.”

Gator slumps next to you, muttering, “S’gotta be fun when they throw all that confetti though…”

“Until someone’s gotta clean it up,” you sigh, glancing over at him, watching the childlike wonder drain from his face. You can’t blame him for wanting to experience life, even through the tourist traps; your lives were bleak with not much to look forward to growing up.  

There’s an urgency split between making up for lost time in his earlier years, and the challenge to squeeze as many memories as possible in the limited amount of time he might have before losing his eyesight completely. 

 A compromise crosses your mind; you bump your shoulder into his, nodding to the stairs. “C’mon, the view’s not so bad from the roof.”

•·················•·················•

By no means is it quiet on the roof; the city is alive, buzzing with parties inside and out; laughter echoing out of windows while drunk resolutions are being made, most likely ditched when the morning comes, noisemakers already going off before the clock strikes into the new year.

You stumble up a few steps, definitely drunk, tugging Gator to the door where he holds you upright.

“M’cuttin’ ya’ off,” Gator swipes the champagne flute from your hand, finishing the drink off while you grumble in protest. 

“Now I got nothin’ to toast with,” you frown, exaggerated by the warm, bubbly alcohol in your body. He sets the empty glass near the door, thankful it’s plastic. “New year’s is cancelled.”

“Can’t cancel a whole year, Darlin’,” he quips, hand in yours as you lead him to the edge of the roof, leaning against the railing. “Glad there’s a fuckin’ guardrail, your clumsy, drunk ass should not be up here right now.”

“What time is it?” You ignore his comment, giddy with excitement to show him something new. 

“Got three minutes,” Gator’s arms wind around from behind while he sways in his spot with you. “What’re ya’ showin’ me?”

“Wait for it!” You scold him, giggling. “Okay, so I know it’s not the ball drop, and maybe someday we can go— on one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“We book one of those fancy-ass hotel rooms with a view, and watch it from inside.” You turn in his embrace, giggling as you feel warmth from the champagne flood along your face. “I promise, you do not want to watch it from Times Square on the ground.”

“Alright, alright, I hear ya’,” he softly laughs, hand reaching out to caress your cheek before pinching it. You swat it away, playfully glaring at him. “Think you should give up bein’ a brat for the new year.”

“Oh, please, you’d miss it too much.” You step closer, shivering from the cold. “Anyway, this view’s pretty alright. First year I was here, I came up on my own,” you turn back to face the city, lights glittering with celebration in nearly every window. “All I could think of was how I wish I could show you this. I wished you were here with me. It reminded me of the sleepovers we had, sneaking off with your lil’ TV—“

“I was just thinkin’ ‘bout that earlier!” Gator chuckles, kissing the top of your head. “We were pretty sneaky.”

“Dunno how we never got caught,” you snort, smiling warmly as his embrace strengthens around you. “I know it ain’t the same, but…”

Countdowns begin pouring out of homes and bars, from the street to rooftops, joining in a symphony of anticipation throughout Brooklyn.

“Ten… nine…eight…”

“I hope we can make a new tradition,” your hands reach up to cup his face.

“Seven… six… five…”

“We can make as many of ‘em as ya’ want, Darlin’.” Gator gently moves your hands away, falling to his shoulders while he pulls you in close. His nose brushes against yours, licking his lips when he realizes this is about to be a first for you two— a New Year’s Eve kiss.

“Four… three… two… one…”

“Always wanted t’do this, even when we were kids,” he murmurs against your lips, while a chorus of cheers ring out through the neighborhood.

“Happy new year!”

Gator loses himself in the kiss, because there’s no rush, there’s no limit— you’re his, he’s yours, with a shared life ahead, hopefully one that is long, and happy.

Thunderous booming sounds startle the two of you apart as fireworks are set off throughout the city.

“Holy shit…” He scans the skyline; fireworks spark up near the Brooklyn Bridge on the water, across the neighborhood, and over to Prospect Park. It’s not long until more illumination follows, scattered throughout various parks and along the river. The city is brighter than he’s ever seen it, glittering with celebratory bursts of light.

You turn back around with a big grin, glancing back to see that childlike wonder back on Gator’s expression. 

One year ago, Gator was regretting his decision to stay behind, while you moped and worried over him during the entire party. You can’t help but compare moments as time passes, grateful he’s here, he’s alive, and not just alive, but living. You’ve never seen such genuine happiness in him the way you have this past year.

“Hang on,” his hands slide over your ears, explanation muffled, “Don’t wanna hurt your ears.” Gator takes a huge breath, shouting over your head at the top of his lungs, “Happy new year!”

A few distant shouts around the block return the sentiment, leaving Gator in a bright grin.

You never want to go another New Year’s Eve— or any holiday, for that matter— without him ever again.

•·················•·················•

While counting down the days to your wedding, it’s frustrating how quickly and slowly time passes at once. The slower days, without much planning, go by far too slow; the days spent picking a venue, a dress, sending invites out, deciding on a theme, cake, and little details in between— you’re desperate for more hours to not feel so crunched for time.

So when it came time to plan for a bachelorette party, you weren’t interested, nor did Gator find the idea of a bachelor party very appealing, either.

Your friends, on the other hand, couldn’t let this go for either of you.

“You only get married once!” Flor protests, arms out with fervor as she paces the sidewalk in front of the house’s stoop.

“Well, if you stay married, that is—“ Gator jokingly shoves Ty, narrowing his stare at the younger man while they share a step. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Sheesh, why do y’all love pushing me ‘round after my jokes? I sense a pattern of abuse here.”

Jinx rolls her eyes, turning to you on the bottom step, legs outstretched across the concrete. “Seriously, you don’t want to do anything before the wedding?”

“Well… I don’t know. I don’t wanna be hungover the day we’re getting married,” You scrunch your lips as your brows furrow in disapproval. “Not much fun in that.”

“Speak for yourself,” Miles chimes in, perched at the top step, mischief written all over his face. He turns to the other men, “Gator, we’re celebrating, don’t be a stick in the mud.”

“A stick in the— what are you, some grandpa?” Ty snarks, dodging a playful elbow thrown his way. “See! Abuse! I’m being hate crime’d.”

Ivy calls out as she walks down the sidewalk, coming home from a long shift at the hospital, “That’s not a hate crime, Tyler—“

“And now the full name shit? I’m reporting you all.”

You snort, “To who?”

“Uh, your fiancé? Mr. I am the law—“

Gator grimaces, snarking, “Like cops give a shit about hate crimes.”

Ivy cackles, applauding with a golf clap, “Damn, Sunshine, you really corrupted him, huh?” 

You shrug, “Maybe. Anyway… yeah, I’m good on not having a party.”

“What if we had the party two days before?” Flor offers, while Ivy gasps and high fives her, as if that’s the most brilliant idea she’s heard all day. “That way no one’s hungover for the wedding!”

“I’ll kill y’all,” you grumble.

“Like fuck you will,” Jinx snickers with a mischievous glint in her eyes. “We’re doing it.”

•·················•·················•

Two days before the wedding, the group splits up into their respective parties, off to celebrate before the big day. 

You had no clue what trouble Miles and Ty had planned for Gator, but he promised many times the night before to behave, much to your amusement.

While you brushed your teeth before bed, Gator continued to ramble nervously, trying to prove he’d behave for whatever the guys had planned. He paused, toothbrush in his mouth, waving his hands, “Oh, and I told ‘em, no strippers—“ “Gate, babe, I don’t care what y’all do.” You rinsed your mouth out, bumping your hip into his teasingly. “Just don’t, like, get arrested for being dumbasses somehow. I’d rather not reschedule the wedding to bail you out of jail.” Gator snorted, spitting into the sink.“It’d be kinda funny though. Me bein’ in jail.” “You say that like you were ever a good cop,” you retorted, grinning in the mirror at him. You backed out of the room, watching as his jaw fell to feign offense.  “You’re such a brat. C’mere,” he chased you out into the living room, tackling you on the couch to pin you down while you laughed and squirmed beneath him. 

By sunset, the week’s never-ending heatwave was finally easing up a bit; you and your bridal party decide to end the night on the rooftop.

They surprised you with a manicure, followed by some shopping, and bar hopping; despite your initial protests, you had a good time, appreciating the time and effort they put into celebrating with you.

“It’s not too late to go back out, Sunshine.” Ivy’s got a joint in hand, sinking into the massive bean bag she dragged up the stairs. “You sure you’re okay with a quiet rest of your night?”

You shrug, relaxed while reclining on a beach chair. Ivy passes the joint to you, and you gratefully accept it. “I’d rather hang here, if it’s cool,” you take a hit, exhaling up to the sky’s hues of oranges and pinks. “I’m just kinda antsy I think over the wedding.” She nods in understanding while you pass the joint over to Jinx, who’s cozying up next to Ivy.

Everyone in the house has been holding their breath over those two, impatiently waiting for one to admit their feelings to the other. Flor shares a knowing glance with you, observant over your two lovesick friends.

You’ll worry about it later. Right now, you’re going over excessive and unnecessary lists in your mind for the wedding.

“It’s gonna be great, Sunshine, everything’s gonna work out,” Jinx assures, voice stiff before she exhales the smoke from her lungs. She’s about to hand it back to Ivy, when Flor clears her throat dramatically. “Oh, my bad, Flor.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Flor snatches the joint away from Jinx with a harmless eye roll. “You two are somethin’ else.”

“Thanks for today, y’all.” You feel the tension leave your body as the high sets in. It’s not too much, just enough to relax. “I needed it more than I wanted to admit. M’lucky to call y’all my best friends.”

The door to the rooftop bursts open before anyone can reply, and the sight of Gator and the others stumbling through like idiots grabs everyone’s attention.

His face lights up when he spots you, murmuring something along the lines of “hey, s’my wife!” dragging his feet with the dopiest smile you’ve ever seen on him. 

“Safe to say you had a good time?” Gator attempts to squish himself next to you on the chair, but when that fails, he lazily flops over onto you instead. Chuckling, you ask, “How drunk are you?”

“M’not drunk, you’re drunk” he mumbles, face buried in your shoulder. “Missed ya’, Darlin’.”

“Uh-huh, sure you’re not…” You snort, running your hands through his hair. “I missed you too, Gate.” The motion causes him to sit up, intending on smiling your way, when you notice how red his eyes are. “Oh my god. Are you high?”

When he grins, his eyes are practically shut from how stoned he is, eliciting giggles out of you.

Gator tries shushing you, but it comes out loudly, rendering it useless. “Don’t tell anyone.”

“Can’t believe your first time getting stoned wasn’t with me,” you exaggerate a gasp. You’re not mad at all, far from it actually; if anything, it feels good to know he trusts his new friends enough. He feels comfortable here. “S’okay, I’m a lil’ high too,” you whisper, giggling.

He grins, yet quickly loses track of the conversation, glancing around the rooftop in search of something. “Where’s the… the bed?”

Your brows furrow with a bewildered laugh, “… Our bed? It’s in the apartment—“ 

“No, the fluffy one.”

“The… the fluffy one…. What?” Stifling yourself from falling into a fit of giggles, you realize he’s too stoned for words right now.

“Yeah, s’the one that you plug in, and it gets bigger— you know! Like the one back home, when you sat on—“

You slap a hand over his mouth, grateful your friends are too caught up in their own conversations.

“Christ, I can only imagine how much shit you’ve said tonight,” you sigh, gently pushing him off of you. “I’ll get the air mattress, don’t talk for like…. A minute. And don’t move. I don’t need you tumbling off the roof, or something.”

Once the bed’s set up, you gently roll Gator off the chair and onto the mattress, curling up next to him. He sighs, content, body melding against yours as he relaxes. 

“I only got one problem with this place,” he murmurs while his arms wind around you. He’s pretty cuddly with you on a regular basis, now that his guard has been down for ages, but he’s clingy while stoned, and it’s amusing, at the very least.

You kiss the top of his head before resting your chin on it, while he ducks into your neck. “Hm… And what would that be?”

“Can’t see the stars out here,” he mutters, pouting against your skin. “I love this place though. Love you. I love our friends—“

“Oh, you’re a real sap when you’re high, huh?”

Gator drones on happily, “I even love the mail guy, he’s great, deadass—“

You sit back, narrowing your gaze, “Hang on, did you just say dead—“

“And I love the bookstore, and the cats, and I love not bein’ angry all the time, and I love you, really fuckin’ do— hey, hey, we’re gettin’ married in two days, y’know that?”

“Shit, that soon?” You tease, and he sits up in a panic, but eventually realizes you’re joking; he melts back into a dopey smile, chuckling.

“You’re a brat,” Gator blows a raspberry on your neck, tickling you. You swat at him, but he holds you close. “My favorite brat.”

“If anyone’s a brat right now,” you giggle, grateful the tickling is short-lived. “It’s you.” 

“Mhm, s’true.” He settles against you again, sighing happily. “Can’t wait to give you a surprise. A few of ‘em.”

Your eyes jolt open, “Surprises? Plural? What surprises?”

“Can’t talk ‘bout it.” Gator mumbles, cheek squished against your shoulder. “Can’t ruin it. S’gotta be perfect for my girl.”

“But you just—“

“You gon’ tell me ‘bout your day?” He’s the worst at switching subjects, but you sigh, and let it slide. Worrying about the wedding is enough stress, you’ll just ignore what he said about these so called ‘surprises’ and move on.

“Fine, fine…”

Gator sits up, damn dopey smile still plastered on his face while he listens intently, looking at you with all the love in the world.

You feel the tension finally fall away, like always, when you’re with him.

•·················•·················•

The Picnic House in Prospect Park, though a little big for your tiny gathering, is a pretty venue. You would’ve gone with a rooftop wedding somewhere smaller, but Gator insisted on having that damn bouncy house.

It was a relief to have the outdoor ceremony start at dusk, but getting ready in the heat was driving you nuts. Thankfully, your friends in both parties set everything up, like the disposable cameras for the guests; though you had a photographer booked, it wasn’t for long, and you preferred the idea of candid shots from your friends and family. They had the vintage handkerchiefs placed neatly on the chairs, for tears of joy. Celestial-esque fairy lights hung down from the tree branches nearby, matching the theme. You even had burnt CDs with yours and Gator’s favorite love songs as party favors, relishing in the nostalgia of sneaking playlists back and forth on CDs as kids.

Every little detail planned was ready to go, and should have you feeling at ease, but this heat is getting to everyone.

“Jesus,” Ivy groans, fanning herself aggressively. “Why couldn’t the heatwave start tomorrow?”

“Hopefully it’ll settle when the sun sets, like last night,” Jinx groans, collapsing into a chair nearby. “I fuckin’ hate this.”

Even with the air conditioner on, the humidity is out of control today.

Pair the extreme heat with the joy, excitement, and rush of knowing you’re about to marry your childhood best friend, it all makes you lightheaded. You reach out to steady yourself against the wall, catching Ivy’s attention. 

Rushing over, she slides a chair from the vanity over to you, pushing you to sit. She checks your forehead immediately, and you swat her hand away, “I don’t have a fever,” you gasp.

“I’ll grab some water,” Jinx runs out of the room.

“Well, someone’s gotta be that guy and check.” Ivy crouches down, searching your expression. “What’s goin’ on, Sunshine?”

Avoiding the question, you admire how stunning your best friend, and maid of honor, is. Neither you, nor Gator, cared about uniformity among bridal party outfits, deciding as long as it was a deep, navy blue, everyone should wear what they felt best in.

“You look incredible, Ives,” Your voice wavers, face scrunching as you stave off tears. “Flor and Jinx, too. I have the prettiest friends in the world.”

You sound similar to a drunk girl complimenting strangers in the bathroom, but you’re sober; the rambling helps keep away the anxiety from dragging you under.

“Oh, shush, look at you!” Ivy beams, hands grasping yours, gently shaking them for a moment. “Love and happiness looks good on ya’, Sunshine.”

The silly comment breaks you; your breaths are shallow, tears are beginning to build in your eyes, lost for words as you resort to shaking your head.

Returning with a water bottle, Jinx hands it over, but you push it away. “Babe, it’ll help.”

Flor comes back in and immediately notices your tears threatening to fall, “Don’t you dare cry yet, we just finished that eyeliner—”

“Flor! Not now!” Ivy scolds her, leaving Flor with an apologetic look. Without thinking much into it, Ivy demands the two of them as she stands, “Someone get Gator, please?”

“Ives… isn’t that bad luck to see one another before the big reveal, or whatever?” Jinx has always been wary of superstitions, despite her name; she’s not taking any risks on your special day.

You hiccup as you try holding soft cries back, tilting your head up to the ceiling, hoping that’ll help keep the tears at bay, but you just look like the world’s most ridiculous bride instead.

 “Ty?” You didn’t see Flor dial Ty, but you can hear the conversation, and her shitty attempt at keeping her voice hushed. “Are you guys done getting ready? Cool, awesome, uh… Can you tell Gator to come here? Ye- yes, here, where our wonderful bride-to-be is— ”

That cracks a tiny smile on your face, but only for a moment, before panic takes hold again. 

“Give me that,” Ivy plucks the phone out of Flor’s hand, “Tyler, if you and Miles don’t bring Gator over, you’re- yes, we know it’s supposedly bad luck, just- she’s not feeling well, so fuck bad luck, the two of them can close their eyes or something, but—  oh my god, little fucker hung up on me.”

The three of them vent and rant between comforting you, too.

Flor comes over, tilting your head gently forward. “Sunshine, you’re gonna get your neck stuck like that and miss your vows.” The tiniest, briefest laugh escapes you, but a sniffle overshadows it.

You hate how worked up you have everyone, hate to break a silly tradition over your tears, but you can’t pinpoint what’s wrong, and other than yourself, the only person who knows you best is Gator.

Caught up in your spiraling thoughts, you don’t hear Gator rush in, asking what’s wrong. Nor do you see the hilarious sight of Miles’ hands slapped over Gator’s face, to which he grumbles, “Miles, man, I have one eye. There’s nothin’ to cover on this side.”

That begins to pull you out of your panicked daze with a pathetically sad laugh, but Ivy turns you to face away from Gator; Ty and Miles help him into a chair behind you, so the two of you are back to back.

“No peeking!” Ty warns, taking the superstitious tradition seriously. “We’ll be back, okay?”

Gator leans his head back onto yours as the group shuffles out, shutting the door behind them. “What’s goin’ on, Darlin’?” His voice is soft, soothing, and you can feel your heartbeat begin to slow, ever so slightly.

“Hi, baby,” Your response comes out shattered and raspy. He reaches his hand back to find yours; it takes a moment while grabbing at thin air, but once he feels your hand, he laces your fingers together. You shudder a sound between a laugh and a soft, breathy cry. 

“Are you okay?” His thumb rubs against yours slowly. “I wanna hold ya’ right now and say fuck it, but they all got me believing this damn superstition.”

“Even Jinx won’t take any chances,” You murmur, sniffling. “It must be serious.” Gator laughs softly, and your heart melts at the familiar sound. “You got no clue how bad I wanna see you right now, too. This is so fuckin’ stupid.”

“If either of us were better liars, I’d say let's go for it, but y’know someone’s gonna notice.” Gator jokes, squeezing your hand. “Tell me what’s goin’ on.”

You’re quiet for a moment, because what were you upset about? Mouth moving faster than your mind, you blurt out, “What if you regret this?”

It’s almost enough to make Gator spin around, but he restrains himself. “Regret what? Marrying you? Darlin’, there ain’t a doubt in my mind about us.”

 “You’re not s- scared?”

Gator laughs nervously. “I’m scared outta mind, I panicked earlier thinkin’ you’d be the one regretting this.” You shake your head wildly, so comically, he reaches back to try holding your head still. “Hey, don’t ruin your hair, or Flor’s gonna kill us both.”

You laugh as another cry slips through, unable to joke back when another thought takes over. “What if you end up hating me? What if we fall apart?” The question stems from a shared fear, it seems. One he asked the the night he came home. “Or if we become miserable after the honeymoon phase wears off? What if you feel stuck, or—”

“Hey, deep breaths for me. C’mon, in…” Gator encourages you to put your thoughts on pause as he breathes with you, tone gentle, soothing. “… Out. That’s it, Darlin’, you’re okay. We’re okay.”

He guides your breath a few more times before responding to your snowballing thoughts. 

“Remember what I told you in the nurs—” He catches himself quickly, avoiding the sensitive language,“— in the spare room? If it’s somethin’ we both want, I’ll take the risk in a heartbeat, ‘cause it’s worth it when it’s with you.”

“God, Gator, I was trying not to cry so much before our vows,” The end of your sentence makes your lip wobble. In the softest, smallest voice, you state the obvious “We’re getting married.”

“Yeah, we are.” You can hear the half smile in his gentle response, but then he falls silent for a moment.

“Gator? Are you alright?”

He doesn’t answer, focus elsewhere while he scrolls on his phone, “Okay, I don’t know who started that fuckin’ superstition and which one of our friends believed it, but this one article says— ”

 “Are you fucking— are you looking this up right now?” You burst into a fit of laughter, feeling your tears slow down.

“I had to know! It’s just a dumb tradition some folks stick with.” He laughs with you, shifting in his chair. Knowing the truth, he’s even more antsy to see you. “… Should we wait?”

“Oh, fuck no,” you sniffle, “Get up.” 

Bunching up your dress, you’re careful to make sure you don’t step on the tulle and rip it as you get up; Gator laughs and stands with you.

In some sort of corny, cliche fashion, the two of you turn around at the same time, smiles of admiration appearing on both of your faces.

Your breath hitches in your chest at the sight of Gator, your Gator, dressed in the classiest black tuxedo, dark navy blue dress shirt, and a boutonnière made up of black, dark navy, and white flowers pinned on his jacket. His hair is slicked back, almost like he used to wear it,  but with far less gel. Finally, you notice the simple, small constellation lapel pin opposite of the flowers. Your birth constellation.

“Did we really—” You tug your necklace, matching his pin, but with his birth constellation. 

The two of you laugh together again, Gator making some comment about how “This is definitely Ivy’s idea,” while you roll your eyes playfully, “She fucking would.”

Gator’s gaze is locked on you with overwhelming adoration; whether you’ve just rolled out of bed, or you’re dolled up how you are now, he thinks— he knows— you’re the most beautiful woman in the world.

With a celestial, cream colored, sleeveless dress, overlaid by dark navy tulle, scattering of sparkling thread in golds and silvers, woven to look like stars in the sky— it all accentuates the way you’ve always shone so bright to him. 

You look Gator over again, noticing his shoes, “You wore your boots?” He blushes, second guessing his choice, until you tug your dress up to show your favorite pair of combat boots included in your outfit, too. 

“Jesus, we’re so corny,” He laughs, shaking his head. He can’t look away from you, wouldn’t want to look away. With tears welling up, he softly says, “You look beautiful, Darlin’.”

You’re just as teary-eyed, smirking, “You don’t look half-bad yourself, Tillman.”

He huffs out a soft laugh before opening his arms, “C’mere.”

You throw your arms around him, resting on his shoulders, muttering, “I gotta watch where I put my face, or you’ll be wearing it, too.” 

Ivy flings the door open— because of fucking course she would— snapping a photo on a disposable film camera, startling the two of you apart.

“I knew you’d turn around—“

“It’s not real!” Gator shouts in defense, sending you into a fit of giggles.

“Huh?”

“That shitty superstition. We’re fine, and I hate that y’all had us believing it too,” You grumble, flipping her off. Gator pushes your middle finger down.

“Don’t be a dick, Darlin’.”

“Oh my god, since when are you the kindness police?”

“Anyway, glad I left my phone behind, at least one of us got your first reactions on camera.” Ivy marches past the two of you to grab her phone, nestled away on the vanity, among Flor’s makeup strewn about. She stops recording, smirking at the two of you. “I know you both way too well by now.”

You snort, looking up at Gator. “See? You’re doomed forever now. She’s never gonna let either of us live this down.”

“Damn right I won’t.”

“Hey, Sun—“ Bea stops in her tracks at the sight of you and Gator together before the ceremony. She points between the two of you, “Isn’t this bad luck?”

“No!” You cackle, “Oh my god, why did y’all believe this?”

“You kids had Opal and I worried about it before our wedding!” 

“Okay, after tonight,” You shove your hands on your hips, narrowing your eyes, “We’re getting to the bottom of whoever the hell believed that superstition in the first place.”

“Alright, sure, kid.” Bea laughs it off before holding her arm out to you. Confused you glance down before back at her. “C’mon, Sunshine, there’s someone here who wants to see you.”

Your brows scrunch together, puzzled, as you hesitantly hook your arm into hers. You look back at Gator, who gives a knowing nod. He waits a beat before following the two of you out, wanting to give space.

The hallway is quiet, empty. It feels as if the oxygen in your lungs is sucked out immediately, finding the last person you ever thought you’d see ever again; your biological mother, anxiously waiting on a bench in the main hallway. 

You freeze, just feet away from her, heart torn between swelling with joy, or dropping into the pit of your stomach as you lock eyes with her. Bea gives you a quick side squeeze, whispering, “It’s okay, I’ll be right over here if you need.”

Bea’s arm slips out of yours while you can’t tear your gaze away from your mother.

“You… you’re here?” Your voice sounds so small— you feel so small as trauma creeps up, like you’re a kid again, in trouble for god knows what; you’re waiting for your father to appear somewhere, ready to hurt you one way or another as your mother turns away, just like she always had.

But he’s miles away, behind bars, for good. Seeing your mother without him is bizarre, surreal; you’re unsure if you’ve ever had a moment alone with only her.  

As you step towards her, you pause, still giving her space as your breaths run shallow. She stands with tears in her eyes, restraining her emotions, holding back tears of relief to see you again, and on your wedding day, no less.

She reaches out to your face cautiously, ghosting a maternal, soothing touch on your skin; your name is whispered in disbelief with a tiny smile, one with hope for forgiveness. 

“Ma…” Your bottom lip wobbles as tears build in your eyes once more. You push her hand away, startling her with rejection at first, but you wrap your arms around her in a bone crushing hug. She relaxes into your embrace, completely shocked by your reaction.

“M’so sorry, sweet pea,” Her body shakes as she speaks, doing her best to suppress sobs. It had been years since she called you that, in the rare moments she actually showed her love. It twists your heart in more ways than one. “I was awful to ya’— you and Willow both. I’m so sorry for everythin’. That’ll never take that hurt away, but you deserve an apology at the very least. You deserve to know none of it was ever your fault.”

“If you make me cry this makeup off, Flor’s gonna kick my ass—“ 

You pull back, hand over your mouth out of habit when saying any word your parents disapproved of. Preparing to be scolded, your mother just gently reaches for your face, letting a sweet giggle slip away from her. 

Your emotions tug every which way, and you almost land into anger, but put your shoulder to the wheel and let go of the hurt.

Trauma’s one hell of a drug, but forgiveness is a hell of a lot stronger.

“Can’t remember the last time I heard ya’ laugh, Ma.” You sniffle through a smile, taking in the rare warmth of her own.

“Honestly, me neither, sweet pea.” She steps back, holding your hands in her frail ones as she takes a better look at your attire. “Look at you, kiddo. Ain’t ever seen a bride as stunnin’ as you.”

Bashfully, you grin, fanning at the tears begging to spill over from your eyes. “Who… who told you ‘bout the wedding?”

“Who do ya’ think?” She glances over your shoulder, and without even turning, you know she’s looking directly at Gator. “I’m sorry for showin’ up without tellin’ ya’—“

So that’s where the unsent invitation for your mother went.

“When we… when we heard about Linda, he wanted you here in the worst way, Ma. I wanted you here, I just was afraid. He encouraged me all the time to reach out, but I wasn’t sure if it was right—“

“You were protectin’ yourself, and I don’t blame ya’ for a second for leaving, cuttin’ me off, any of that.” She pulls a crumpled tissue from her pocket, blotting at her tears. “Shoulda’ left that rotten bastard the first chance I had. I was scared, for all of us, but that’s no excuse for what I said or did to you and Willow. You needed safety and love, and I don’t ever expect to be forgiven, but—“

“Ma, it’s okay. It will be okay.” There’s so much to talk about, so much to catch up on, to hash out, but not today. That can all be put on pause for yours and Gator’s special day. “One step at a time, alright? Right now, I- I’m just so happy you’re here.”

She wraps her arms around you tightly, embracing you and the moment of peace between you both.

“I am too, kiddo. I wish Lo was here, too.”

You nod, but a calm washes over you; long, long ago, you accepted the reality of your sister no longer on this earth. But there’s something new that fills your heart, a reassurance that things are in the right direction, on all fronts.

It feels ridiculous, but for a moment, you swear you can hear Willow’s voice, happily teasing you, “That damn wish finally came true, huh?”

“She’s always with us, Ma.” You give your mother a warm, knowing smile. You can’t resist adding an eye roll, hoping it staves off any emotional tears, “Plus, the lil’ bugger’s got the best seat in the house.”

“Whoa!” 

Pulling you and your mother from your reunion, you find Gator nearly tackled over by a small child. He’s laughing as he stumbles a bit, arms thrown around her; it’s Scotty.

“Tryin’ out for football or somethin’?” He jokes as she lets go with a shrug and a grin. 

“Hockey.”

“No shit?”

“Gator.”

The voice lightly warning him comes from Dorothy, warm smile growing along her features. This is the first time seeing her, her little family, since leaving home.

Wayne gently leads Scotty back, chuckling, “Hey, lets not kill your uncle on his wedding day, eh?”

Gator embraces Dot into a bear hug, one she gladly returns as she murmurs, “It’s good to see ya’, kid.”

Don’t cry yet, don’t cry yet, Flor will kick your ass before you’re married—

A hand on your shoulder pulls you from your thoughts; you turn, facing your mother again. “Sweet pea, I got somethin’ for ya’.”

She opens her purse, handing over a photograph of you and Gator as kids; your hand covers your mouth while you gasp, joyful tears springing to your eyes. Gator breaks away from the others, coming up behind you to look over your shoulder, laughing at the memory.

“Holy shit…”

You’re no older than 7, running up the porch steps before you shoved a messy bouquet of wildflowers at Gator. Dirt crumbles off the fresh roots.“Here.” Puzzled, he pulls away from a picture he was drawing. He frowned, hesitantly grabbing the bundle of flowers from you. “Wha’s this for?” “You,” The response slipped out as a giggle; Gator didn’t follow.  “But… flowers aren’t for boys.” He looked torn as he blushed over the sweetness you exuded, while fighting it with his father’s usual ‘men don’t like ___’ speech echoing in his head. “I’m s’posed t’get them for you.” “S’okay, I won’t tell anyone.” As if on cue, your mothers spotted the two of you from inside the house before rushing out with a camera— they loved shoving those dang things in your faces, always chiding with a “You’ll be glad we took these someday!” Gator panicked as they came outside, pushing the flowers back to you. “Oh, honey, did you pick those for her? That’s so sweet.” “What a gentleman!” Gator blushed as your hand overlapped his, and you took the flowers back to save him from another lecture about masculinity. Even as a child, you knew something was off about the way his father tried raising him as a “real man”, and the way your mothers both bought into that nonsense.  When your eyes met, he smiled softly, silently thanking you. A flash went off, and the two of you turned to your mother, taking the photo, while Gator’s mom gushed over how cute the two of you were, and how excited they were to get that photo developed. As they walked back inside, Gator leaned close to your ear. “I’ll keep ‘em forever.” He threw his arms around you, squeezing tightly before putting a finger up to his lips in a “shhh” gesture; with the flowers under his jacket, he ran them up to his room, tucking them away in an old shoebox. 

Glancing at Gator, your mom adds, “Your mama always joked to keep that photo, then bring it out when the two of ya’ get married someday. I couldn’t help saving it.”

While your stare fixates on the photo, you’re interrupted by your mother handing you a small gift bag, with a giddy grin; you’ve never seen her this happy before. Puzzled, you shoot a perplexed expression.

“Ma, we don’t— that’s sweet of ya’, but we got the gift table—“

Gator leans in to your ear, murmuring, “This is one you’re gonna want before you walk down the aisle, Darlin’.” He kisses your temple, adding, “Oh, and don’t rip it open like ya’ do with Christmas presents.”

Bea’s snickering nearby, but you’re focused on giving Gator that same confused stare his way.

You’re cautious as you take the gift bag, opening it with even more meticulous care, to which Ivy, also near Bea, teases, “This century would be great, Sunshine.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m goin’, I’m—“ Your words hitch in your throat as you find a small bouquet of wildflowers— the flowers, from the photo of you and Gator as kids— dried and tied with a simple, silky, navy blue ribbon.

“How…” They’re in great condition, considering how much time has passed. “When you said you’d keep ‘em forever—“

“I meant it.”

“How did you keep them safe for so long?”

“In a hidin’ place so good, I nearly forgot about ‘em ‘til right before movin’ out here.” Gator soaks in your awe-struck expression. “Turns out, I stuck ‘em in a shoebox with some newspaper, and shoved that under a floorboard. I found ‘em on accident at the ranch.”

Your vision warps quite quickly with tears, happy ones, ready to fall—

“Sunshine, don’t you dare cry yet,” Flor hisses, breaking everyone into bursts of laughter, while you roll your eyes, fanning your face with your hand.

“I- I don’t understand… wasn’t the ranch taken over for evidence? How’d you get away with this?”

Gator gently nods towards your mother, who admits, “He asked me to keep ‘em safe for you, sweet pea.”

It settles in that Gator found these over one year ago. He reached out to your mother, while you weren’t on speaking terms, while you thought your bond was forever destroyed, and asked her to keep them safe.

And she did, for all that time, until today.

Never leaving your mother’s kind stare, the one you always longed for as a child, you ask with a wobbling voice, “Flor? How waterproof is this makeup?”

“Not waterproof enough for you to weep like a baby before the ceremony.”

“Flor, you might wanna invest in some heavy duty, waterproof makeup if you’re gonna keep working weddings,” Ty snarks, to which Flor elbows him.

As the excitement floats down, Bea reads the room with ease, gently shooing everyone out the door. “C’mon, you guys should find your seats. We gotta get things goin’!” She grins warmly at you, Gator, and your mother, following the others out. 

“… Where was dad during all of this?”

“Sucked up in Roy’s downfall,” Gator mutters smugly. “So I—“

Ty pokes his head back in, waving Gator over, “Man, c’mon!”

While your mom steps back, Gator grabs your hand, squeezing gently. “See you on the other side, Darlin’.” He lifts your hand to his lips, leaving a gentle, lingering kiss before letting go.

Bea returns, “Ready to hit the aisle?”

 Your mother takes the hint to find her seat, and gives a quick hug, “I’ll let you get ready—“

“Wait,” You glance between your Ma, and Bea— both so important to you. Both motherly figures, one by blood, the other, fate. 

There’s so much to unravel with your birth mother, trauma to unpack for years to come. Tonight, though, that all can wait. You feel safe, since your father’s nowhere near here; there are no ulterior motives with your mother. She never had any. She was just held under the toxic weight of your abusive father, and that doesn’t excuse the hurt she left behind, too, but for tonight, you can forgive.

For right now, you can forget the suffering; you’ve lived enough of your life in pain. There are much more important memories to be made, and life is too short to spend this special day wallowing in the past.

“Can you… will you both walk me down the aisle?”

While Bea warmly smiles, your mother is caught off guard.

“Oh I— I don’t think I have the right to— this is your big day, sweet pea—“

“If Sunshine’s asking, I’d say, you have every right to.” Bea backs you up, adding, “If you’re comfortable, of course.”

You’re led down the aisle by both motherly figures, arms linked with one on either side of you while you gingerly clutch the bouquet of dried flowers Gator saved for you.

For us.

How lucky you are, to walk down the aisle with your birth mother, one who came back to make things right, even if better late than never; even luckier, to have the mother of your present, the one you crossed paths with by sheer fate, the one who encouraged you to find your true self, and rebuild your life.

And how incredibly lucky you must be, to find at the end of the aisle, your best friend, the love of your life. How damn lucky you feel, surrounded by your closest friends, your family— though untraditional on both your side, and Gator’s, still family, all the same.

When Bea and your mother find their seats, you glance back to the small crowd, where two empty chairs sit in the immediate front, one on either side. The chair near your mother holds a portrait of your sister, while the empty chair on the other side of the aisle holds one of Gator’s mom. 

Each has a sign draped over the chair:

“We see you in every sunrise, sunset & within all the stars. You’re watching from the best seat in the house Still wish you were here.”

“Oh, no one warned me about that,” You murmur, tearing up already. They’re not tears of grief, rather, they’re filled with some sort of peace; the visual is just a reminder that they’re both here among everyone.

Gator runs a knuckle under his eyes, one at a time, chuckling softly. “Yeah, I wasn’t ready for that.”

“Flowers for a tissue?” Ivy whispers over your shoulder, making you both giggle.

You turn to her, making the exchange, “Thanks bestie.”

“Anytime, bestie.”

Facing Gator again, he takes your hands in his with a fond smile. 

“We are gathered here on this gorgeous summer day to witness the union of…” Opal begins the ceremony to officiate the wedding, but her words fade away as reality settles in— you’re actually marrying your best friend. Today. Right now. Holy shit.

“Your written vows express your irrevocable promises to love, honor, and cherish one another. I invite you now to face each other to profess your intentions.”

Vows. Right. We’re at this part already? Oh, god. Why is this so nerve-wracking?

Telling Gator your feelings has become easy. You’re not even shy telling your friends, your family.

Anxiety starts to wind around you, tightening your joy in worry. Bracing yourself mentally for the spiral, Gator catches on quickly, feeling your hands trembling within his own; he softly squeezes, a little gesture that you’re not alone.

And it’s true; with him, you’re never alone.

With a deep breath, you speak up, “As cliche as it is to say I can’t imagine life without you, it’s true.” It’s so quiet among everyone, you could hear a pin drop; you pray no one can hear how much your breath shakes as you inhale, or how your voice wavers. 

“When I moved out here all those years ago, I never thought we’d see each other again. I was convinced our story was over, convinced this was for the best, tried convincing myself and everyone else it was better off this way.

“Yet with every little milestone, I wished deep down I was sharing it with you. And though we can’t go back to re-do everything right, I’m grateful we’re making up for lost time. For the first time in life, everything feels right. It’s exactly as it should be.”

The world falls away as you speak from your heart, leaving just you and Gator while your anxiety fades away. “Thank you for trusting me, for taking the leap to join me here. For opening your heart to new experiences, new people, and a re-written future neither of us expected. It’s been a gift to watch you reclaim your life, and even more precious to be able to share it with you. I’ll never take that, your love, or you, for granted.

“I promise to love you endlessly, and stand by your side, cheer you on through everything, even if it all goes dark.” It’s not only the promise you’ve continued to reassure him of when it comes to his vision loss, but you mean it metaphorically, too. 

He squeezes your hands tight, smiling softly as tears build.

“When we stargazed the night before I flew back home, you asked if I’d tell you what I wished for…” The cicadas singing into the sunset usher out your final thoughts, “Guess I can say it, now that it came true; I wished for you, Gator.”

Gator’s gaze is glassy, staring at you like you’ve hung the damn moon for him. He sniffles, “Well, shit. I can’t top that.” Soft laughter floats among the small group. 

“I, uh…” His hands tremble as he reaches into his pocket for his written vows, shaking the wrinkled sheet of paper between his fingers. You shoot a reassuring, gentle smile; his gaze holds your own before he crumples the paper in his hands. “Screw it, I ain’t the best with words, but readin’ some planned speech just doesn’t feel right.”

Gator tosses the balled up paper over his shoulder, and comically, Ty catches it in his hands behind him, making everyone chuckle.

Carefully, Gator’s hands rest over yours. He’s got a smile brighter than the city’s skyline, one you wish you could bottle up, save the joy he radiates for your rainiest days.

“Saying I love ya’ is an understatement, Darlin’. Everyone here’s familiar with our past— to an extent,” He quirks his brows with a glint of mischief in his eyes, just for you to notice. It sends you both into giggles, like you’re sharing a secret. No one but the two of you need to know the truth, front to back, about your story.

“To be blunt, I’d be dead without ya’. Entering one another’s lives when we least expected it, when we didn’t want it, it all turned into a blessing in disguise. Never expected us bein’ snowed in together would bring us both to our senses… but I’m glad it happened. You’re the only one who’s ever given me a real chance, shown genuine love, even when I was at rock bottom.

“I’ll love you, always. At your highest, lowest, and everything in between, ‘cus that’s what best friends do, they have each other’s backs. I’ll do anything, and everything, to protect you the way you always protected me. I’ll be brave for ya’, just like you’ve always been for me.”

Your surroundings have already fallen away; it’s just you and Gator, but that promise only strengthens the love you have for him even more— as if that were even possible.

“We grew up to be pretty alright, huh? I wouldn’t have made it this far without ya’, though, and I couldn’t have turned my life around without your help. I’m…” Gator’s emotions catch up to him, but he’s happy. He’s honestly, unapologetically happy— with you, with both of your odd end families here to witness this moment— he wouldn’t trade it for the world. “Never, ever imagined, not even in my wildest dreams, we’d go from best friends, to partners, to this…

“And y’know… all those nights we spent stargazing, searching for shooting stars to wish on… maybe they worked.” Gator squeezes your hands, eyes glassy with tears of joy. “‘Cause I wished for you, too.”

Between both of your vows, there’s not a dry eye among the tiny crowd.

“Whew, you kids got me weepy over here,” Opal fans her teary eyes with her hand, earning your laughs. She clears her throat, “May I have the rings, please?”

Ty reaches past Gator, handing the wedding bands over to Opal. 

“With these rings, the love you have for one another will be symbolized. May they forever be a reminder of the vows you have just given, and your eternal, unconditional love for one another.”

She hands you Gator’s ring, “As you place this on his finger, repeat after me. ‘May this ring be a reminder of where our love began as best friends, and lives on endlessly as lovers.’”

With a delicate hold, you grasp Gator’s hand in yours, sliding the ring onto his finger as you repeat the promise. “May this ring be a reminder of where our love began as best friends, and lives on endlessly as lovers.”

This is the first time you’re seeing the rings, colors unmistakable; inlaid around the gold band is the friendship bracelet you made him long, long ago.

Your heart soars.

“Gator,” Opal turns to him, handing over the matching band, yours in rose gold, with the bracelet he made you as children, too. “As you place this on her finger, repeat after me. ‘May this ring be a reminder where our love began as best friends, and lives on endlessly as lovers.’”

He cradles your hand softly in his, slipping the band onto your ring finger, mirroring the same promise.

No one dares to scold you for the tear that slips down your face; probably for the best Flor is behind you and Ivy. Gator winks at you with his trademark smirk, but it’s filled with softness.

“We all wish you a long life together, one filled with happy days and precious milestones.” Opal grins cheerfully, “By the authority vested in me by the State of New York, I now pronounce you both husband and wife. You may now—“

Gator can’t wait, like the impatient bastard he is, swooping in to kiss you softly as everyone gleefully cheers. Opal claps and chuckles over his eagerness, while your smile grows against his own.

The weight of anxiety is overshadowed by adoration for your best friend, your husband, but it doesn’t completely fade; there’s just one more vow you’d like to make to him, when the time is right.

•·················•·················•

Let's talk about the old days Let's talk about your friends Let's talk about the summer And how you wished it wouldn't end

As the music fills the air around you, everyone else fades away while you and Gator dance to your wedding song. No other sounds or sights, just the music, the once sweet nothings- now ‘cherished everythings’ that Gator promises you, the two of you cracking inside jokes softly. You finally understand what a married couple is constantly smiling and laughing about together during the first dance; the fond glances to one another that say everything without words. Even the comfortable pauses of silence shared, swaying along the dance floor with him, it all feels perfect.

Did I forget to tell you How pretty you looked in that dress? And the first time that I saw you You cleaned the mess from my head

You’re shielding yourselves away from the rest of the world, basking yourselves in one another’s euphoric and unconditional love. To you, it’s just a reminder set in stone that the two of you will always have each other. No matter what.

It’s you and Gator against the world. It always has been. Always will be.

And I don't mind If we take our time No I don't mind

“Where’s your two left feet, Tillman?” You tease, and Gator just shakes his head with a lighthearted laugh, shooting a dramatic eye roll your way. “Leave ‘em at home?”

Let's go walkin' on the boardwalk Dip our feet into the sea Let's find ourselves lost for hours Until we find ourselves a drink

“First of all, Mrs. Tillman, ya’ can’t pull that last name shit when we share it now.” He points out while you shrug, giggling. “Second, you can thank Miles for givin’ me a crash course in how to move my damn feet without tripping and breaking my neck. Or yours.”

“I’ll send him a thank you card,” You laugh, resting your head on Gator’s chest for a moment, until you hear Flor scold across the dance floor, “Don’t ruin your makeup!” 

“I wonder if she does this with the other brides she does makeup for,” Gator mutters, snickering. You pick your head up with a dramatic sigh, still grinning.

When you lock eyes with him, there’s a small, yet brave voice in the back of your mind, echoing out “now’s the time”.

Let's talk that sun into setting Just need the sound of your voice Need that calming and the comfort Something to drown out the noise

The intensity of your feelings overwhelms you, causing you to tear up. It’s not unheard of to cry on your wedding day, in fact, it’s expected, almost encouraged. You’re not looking away from Gator like you usually do when you’re tearing up, and he notices instantly.

Gator’s immediately concerned, “Darlin’, what’s goin’ on?” You’re not sad, you don’t look sad, but there’s something so certain, so concrete in the emotions behind your glassy gaze.

You can’t help the short, yet soft laugh that slips out, nervous, but excited. “Earlier, you mentioned the— you brought up the day you were trying to clear the nursery out, and told me if I ever changed my mind, you’d take that risk in a heartbeat… remember that?”

“Of course I do, I mean that with everythin’ in me, really do.” His reassurance draws your smile wider. “It goes for anything, I’d take any risk with ya’.”

And I don't mind If we take our time ‘Cause I'm all yours If you're all mine

You inhale, courage building with the oxygen in your lungs, reminiscent of the seconds before asking Gator to move home with you.

Deep breath.

Dive in.

“Even with the risk of tryin’ again to have a baby?”

The music is still playing, but Gator stops dead in his tracks, catching the attention of some of your friends and family.

“Are you— is this a— do you—”

“Pick your feet back up, freak, people are staring,” You tease, face starting to hurt from how much you’ve smiled today. He continues dancing with you, moving at bare minimum with his attention hyper-focused on your words.

Something I've been meanin' to tell you About three years and a day I'd very much like to get married Maybe have kids and move away

“You- you mean it? You’re serious?”

Nodding ecstatically, you softly reply, “Serious as a heart attack, love.”

Gator laughs through his own hopeful, happy tears, resting his head on top of yours. The two of you can hear Flor in the distance yelling, “Don’t wreck her hair!” You shoot her an affectionate middle finger, while Gator snickers before tugging your arm down.

“When did you change your mind? And why?” His questions aren’t accusatory, they’re just in disbelief, but he knows too, you’d never joke about something like this. “Am I dreamin’?”

“Nope, you’re wide awake, babe,” you tease. “Been on my mind for awhile, but you talkin’ about that day earlier made me realize I’m not so scared anymore... Not if this happens with you.” Reaching your hand out, you rest it on his cheek with your heartfelt admission. 

Gator leans into your touch, and you can’t help the way your heart swells over the sight of him being so soft and vulnerable, in front of others, too. 

Cause there ain't nothing like your smile Your legs and those eyes And I will beg and steal and borrow To keep you safe your whole life

As he takes your hand, kissing it before placing it back on his shoulder, he’s immediately hit with worry, and his eyes widen as he asks, “You’re not… y’know…” He shoots a quick glance to your stomach, then back to you, “… now, are ya’?”

Another pure laugh escapes you as you shake your head. “Pregnant? Gator, it ain’t a dirty word.” You tease, and he shrugs with a sheepish smile. “I’m not, don’t worry. I wanna take our time, y’know? Live our lives a lil’ longer, just the two of us. We don’t have to keep talkin’ ‘bout it… but when the time comes, I’ll take the risk, if you want to, too.

And I don't mind If we take our time 'Cause I'm all yours If you're all mine

“You fuckin’ kidding me? F’course I do,” he passionately reassures you. For good measure, he adds with sincerity, “An- and you know, if you change your mind, it’s okay, right? If you decide it ain’t right, if ya’ gotta put your health first, wanna adopt instead—”

“My mind’s made up,” you affirm as the song winds down. You lean in to kiss him, whispering first, “You were right, the future will be good, no matter what, ‘cause we got each other.”

•·················•·················•

The celebration rolls on, with speeches from your maid of honor and Gator’s best man, and cutting cake, with that silly tradition of smushing cake in one another’s faces— even the most overdone of traditions felt right with your best friend, now husband.

Dancing, tipsy smiles and laughter, squishing as many of you as possible into the rented photo booth, 

Throughout the night, you hear the faint clicking among the small crowd, film advancing forward as the dials are turned on the disposable cameras. Each time you catch the sound, your smile grows; you couldn’t wait to get them developed, to see everyone’s perspective on such a special day.

“Ten bucks they kiss tonight,” Ty bets, scoping out his friends shamelessly flirting with one another across the dance floor. 

Flor shakes her head, also observing Ivy and Jinx carefully. “Nah, they’re such lil’ chickenshits about it, they won’t—“

“I dunno, I think Ty’s right,” Gator cuts her off.

Miles chimes in, “Make it twenty that they don’t kiss. I’m with Flor on this one.”

“I bet they kissed already,” you break the bets, causing everyone to look at you. Shrugging, you say, “What?”

“Oh, c’mon, there’s no way that happened.” Gator argues, scoffing at you. “They’re so obsessed with each other!”

“Yeah, bet you know what that’s like to be obsessed and lovesick with someone, huh, Gator?” Ty snarks, snickering when Gator glares at him.

“To be fair, we kinda jumped like… twenty steps ahead, it went 0 to 60 real fast—“

Gator heartily laughs while Miles throws his hands over his ears, “La-la-la, can’t hear you!”

“Ew, Sunshine, keep it to yourself,” Flor grimaces teasingly. You shamelessly shrug.

“Oh my god…” Ty gasps, redirecting everyone’s attention to the flirty pair— finally fucking kissing. “Oh my god!”

Flor shakes your arm excitedly, while you shout “About damn time!”

Gator high fives Ty, while Miles grumbles with a small smile, digging into his pocket for his wallet. He hands Ty a $20 bill, and the younger man quirks his brow. “I believe you owe Gator, too.”

Miles barks out a laugh, “Split it, jerks.”

All of the commotion breaks the bubble Ivy and Jinx were in, and Jinx blushes while flipping their friends off, while Ivy rolls her eyes,  smirk pulling along her face.

When the excitement dies down, Gator rests his head on your shoulder, arms winding around your waist. “Bouncy house is free…” He murmurs into your ear, “Wanna try it out?”

Glancing over your shoulder, you hold a stare with him for a few seconds before breaking out of his grasp. Bunching the end of your dress up to your knees, you take a running start, yelling back, “Race ya’!”

While you run towards the inflatable structure, you hear your husband’s footsteps gaining on you with ease. 

Curse his long fuckin’ legs.

“Ya’ snooze, ya’ lose, Darlin’!” 

Darting past you, in one swift movement, he kicks his shoes off while flinging himself into the bouncy house. You huff over your loss, grumbling and playfully glaring as you step out of your own shoes. He grabs hold of your arms, tugging you inside, sending the two of you into stitches of laughter.

It’s moments like these, rewriting the small joys you should’ve had as kids while you’re all grown up, that are so precious to you.

Wobbling onto your feet, you grip the hem of your dress again, beginning to bounce on the inflated floor. It takes a few attempts, but you finally gain some momentum.

“Je-sus—“ You huff, mid-air. “Was this shit—“ Another huff. “—Always so—“ A laugh puffs out of you, “— Fucking challenging?”

Gator’s still relaxing on the surface below you. “I mean… we went to like, two parties as kids that had these?”

“Don’t forget—“ Now you’re getting the hang of it, but only if you throw your arms out to balance; your dress drops from your grip, long forgotten. “— That one— church thing— they— had one—“

“Oh, that fuckin’ retreat that was more like a cult meeting?”

“Yeah!”

“They bribed us with that fuckin’ bouncy house,” He murmurs, gaze fixated on you— the way your dress flounces with each jump, the grin on your face, despite being worn out. “Ain’t very Jesus like if ya’ ask me.”

You kick your legs out, landing on your backside with a few extra bounces as you catch your breath. “This is a bouncy house, not a fuckin’ ‘lounge around and be boring’ house.” He can’t take his stare off of you, just fond and warm; the Gator you’ve always known, and by luck or fate, got to reconnect with. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I just married my best friend, I’m fuckin’ great,” He breathily laughs, arm winding around you to hook you in closer. The two of you look out to the party, still going strong, overflowing with joy; the sounds of laughter, off-key singing, and crickets fill the air. “I didn’t get to say it during our vows, but, uh, thanks for entertaining silly shit like this.” He gestures around the bouncy house. 

You offer a quirked brow, so he continues, “‘Cause all that ‘healing your inner kid’ shit is actually kinda… healing.” The two of you snort over his words. “But I’m serious, and I wouldn’t want to heal with anyone else but you, Darlin’.”

All those childhood nights spent wishing and praying you and Gator would find happier, loving families, and homes that never felt like a prison, they might’ve come true a little later than either of you would’ve liked, but it’s reality now.

The reality you’ve always dreamed of, motivating you to survive the worst of it all growing up, it’s true; the roads leading here weren’t on the map you drew in your head as a child, but somehow you made it anyway.

Maybe it wasn’t as specific as a heart to heart with your best friend, now husband, in an inflatable castle, somewhere in the middle of Brooklyn, but you’ll take it.

Sitting up, you reach for his face with both hands, resting your head against his with a smile. 

“Likewise, Tillman.”

You gravitate towards one another for a sweet kiss, when someone clears their throat loudly at the entrance of the inflatable structure.

“You heathens, this is for bouncing, not smooching!” Ty teases as you pull apart. He turns around, shouting, “Scotty, it’s safe to come over now!”

Gator thunks his head on your shoulder, groaning in embarrassment. “Oh my god, I just got this kid to trust me, now I ruined the bouncy house too.”

“Babe, we didn’t even kiss, quit actin’ like we fucked around,” You giggle. “C’mon, let’s give the others a chance to fling themselves around in here.”

There’s a small thud, sending a wave of pressure through the bouncy castle, making Gator flip over with a yelp. Scotty grins from the entrance with mischief; for a small kid, she’s got some strength.

“Oh, kid, you’re in trouble now,” Gator scrambles to his feet, jumping high to let himself flop back down against the surface. Scotty is thrown up into the air, giggling wildly as she lands back down. You roll out of the way when Gator begins chasing her, and you can’t tell if he’s pretending to be clumsy and let her get away, or if he really can’t keep his balance; either way, it fills the castle with nothing but laughter and playful yelling.

It doesn’t take long for Dot to climb in, and Wayne, too; one by one, your friends and family end up shoving themselves into the inflatable house, jumping all around, chasing one another, grinning ear to ear. It’s loud, chaotic— two things that once scared you, coming from a toxic environment, now loving the pure joy in a moment like this.

Ty’s trying to teach Scotty how to do a front flip, with the adults around cheering her on when she succeeds. Flor and Miles just jump around mindlessly, enjoying a break in their busy lives to just be. Jinx wobbles on the floor, with Ivy patiently holding her up, whispering something sweet enough to make the other woman blush and playfully swat at her. Bea and Opal just watch from the entrance, giggling amongst themselves over everyone’s antics.

You need a breather, allowing yourself to flop onto the floor, when your mother climbs in; you have to do a double take, unable to believe your eyes.

“You ever been in one of these?” You ask as she crawls next to you, overwhelmed with happiness. 

“No! I always wanted to go in the ones at those church retreats, ‘cause you, Lo, and Gator loved ‘em, but your father—“ She rolls her eyes and huffs, waving away the mention. “Well, he’s not here, so I think it’s time I start living, huh?”

Someday, the two of you will dissect the suffering family trauma has brought upon you both, and her hand in it all, but you’re still proud of her for getting away. Better late than never.

You get back on your feet, smiling warmly at her as you extend a hand. “No better place to start than a bouncy house at your kid’s wedding.”

She’s got a childlike joy laced in her grin, taking your hand to regain her balance. You begin showing her how easy it is to jump, and the first time she does, she breathes out a shocked laugh before bouncing again.

There’s gotta be some sort of deep, cheesy meaning about healing here, when it comes to a group of people with interwoven traumas, from all walks of life, sharing a bouncy house— something about keeping your balance, or trust, or some shit— but you don’t care to dig deep for it.

Sharing a knowing glance with Gator, you have to admit that he’s right about healing your inner child. Judging by the overflowing happiness and amusement among your friends and family, you’d say everyone needed a little moment of healing, too.

•·················•·················•

“Wait, wait! Gotta find somewhere safe to put these.” You rush around the apartment, still dressed up with the precious bouquet secure in your grip. 

Gator hangs back with a smirk, leaning against the closed door while his eyes follow your excited self, buzzing around your home. Dress shirt unbuttoned at the top, bow tie long gone— who knows where that damn thing ended up. A few strands of hair falls in his face, now that the gel’s hold has worn off.

“Aha!” You grab an empty vase off the bookshelf, gingerly placing the dried flowers inside. “I’ll have to get a pretty display box for ‘em, but this works for now, right?”

There’s no answer, not verbally, at least; the glow and contagious joy you’ve radiated all day has him entranced. Like a moth to a flame, he’s drawn to you and your light. From behind, his arms wind around you in an embrace, leaning down to kiss your neck lazily.

Eyes fluttering shut, you hum, content. “Keep this up and we’re not makin’ it to the hotel any time soon.”

You feel Gator shrug against you, hands wandering from your hips to your chest, “S’okay, we got time.”

“That’s what you always say.”

He spins you around, backing you against the kitchen counter. One hand gently slips under your chin, lifting your face to his, he smirks. “And have I ever been wrong, princess?”

You know this tone, the way he mixes it with that pet name— and that damn smirk. Eyes narrowing, you ask with suspicion, “What are you up to?”

“Nothin’,” he replies gravelly, locking his lips against yours in a teasingly slow kiss. The kind that’s too slow, with the speed of molasses pouring out of a jar. Open-mouthed, dizzying kisses that make you squirm, just how he likes to torture you. “Be patient, angel,” he murmurs against your lips. “Be good for me.”

You nod, leaning in to kiss Gator, but he moves swiftly, kissing your jaw, down to your neck, hands working in tandem to caress your sides before lowering down to his knees. He leans down, kissing from your ankles upward as he rucks up your dress, chuckling as he feels your skin prickle with anticipation against his lips.

“This is why you wanted to come home first, huh?” Giggling, you run your fingers through his hair, while he nuzzles against your thigh.

“Fuck yeah, always wanted to do this,” he kisses up your thigh, head disappearing under your dress. “S’fuckin’ hot seeing ya’ like this.”

“What, in my wedding dress?”

“Mhm,” Gator hums against your heat, fingers hooking under your panties. He tugs them down to your ankles, hands splaying out to explore the expanse of your skin as they make their way back up to your hips. “One of my biggest fantasies with ya’… get on my knees for my angel…” You shiver as he kisses your core lightly. His breathy confession fans out over your skin, “Bury my face in this sweet, pretty tang—“

“Gator!” Your face heats up, giggling hysterically; you hate when he says that, but with his touches and kisses, he could say anything he wanted right now, and you’d let it slide.

“What?” He pulls back, throwing the fabric of your dress away from his face with a taunting smirk. “Can’t a guy worship his wife in her wedding dress?”

You trail your fingers down to cradle his face, admiring Gator’s mischievous stare, the lust filling his stare, how handsome he is—

It’s a good thing the two of you are married now, because you are positively, absolutely fucked up with love for this man.

Your lips curl into their own grin, giving silent consent as you nod and bite your lip.

“Thank fuck,” Gator sighs dramatically, diving back under your dress. He presses another kiss to your slit, tongue flitting out to part your folds. “‘Cause I don’t think I can wait ‘til we get to the hotel.”

“You— a- ah—“ You gasp, leaning against the kitchen counter, gripping onto its edge. Regaining composure, you add, “Y’say that like it’s far away.” 

“Well, Darlin’,” you feel Gator’s thumbs spread you wide, lapping at your clit a few times before pulling back. Lewdly, he spits onto your cunt, thumb mixing that with your slick, toying with your sensitive nub. “We got a flight to catch in a few hours, and if ya’ thought I wouldn’t play with ya’ before we leave—“

“Wh- huh? We’re— where we goin’?” He suckles on your clit, causing your eyes to roll back in a heady daze. Your hips jerk forward as he begins to sloppily eat you out, indulging in the sinful moment. “Thought we were waiting on a- a— honeymoon… stay out in the city tonight instead…”

Your knees give out, betraying your body, but Gator’s firm grip keeps you upright. It’s still baffling to you that he’s only had a few partners before you, and actually knows how to work that all-talk-no-action mouth of his.

“Thought we could use a tiny getaway before the real deal,” he murmurs against your skin, tongue dipping into your hole, tasting your arousal with a heavy grunt. You yelp as he throws one leg over your shoulder, while the other stays planted on the floor. Gator shifts, mouth still toying with your cunt, when he— Jesus Christ—

This man, your goddamn husband, straddles your leg, rocking his hips against it with reckless abandon. 

Throbbing against you through his pants, he releases some kind of raw, gravelly noise against your core. The sound trembles against your clit, and you gasp, clutching over the tulle of your dress onto his head, desperate to touch him, to watch him until you unravel at the seams.

Predictably, the first moment together as a married couple wouldn’t be soft and sweet like one would assume; honestly, it wouldn’t feel right, with how filthy you usually are with one another.

“The… huh?” Thoughts clouded with lust, you can’t form a coherent thought to ask what the hell he’s talking about. “But I’m n- not— oh, god—“ One of his long, thick fingers slides into you with ease, gently pumping in and out. “Gator, I- I’m not— I need to pack if we’re goin’ somewhere—“

Another finger slips inside, and you cut yourself off with a cry. 

“Already taken care of, angel.” He flicks his tongue at your clit before sucking on it again, rutting against you every so often for relief. You can feel him proudly smirk against your skin as your knees shake. “Now shut up, and let me take care of you, too.”

•·················•·················•

In the past year and a half, you witnessed Gator become so… organized. He was never like this, even as kids, but the loss of perpetual rage and depression seemed to clear his mind with a lot.

With that organization— and Ivy’s help to secretly pack for you, of course— he managed to plan a weekend trip to the Bahamas. This is the same man who was hesitant and terrified of the ocean last summer, but now? He was just thrilled to celebrate with you and relax.

Despite the heatwave during your wedding, the warm getaway was refreshing. The crystal clear waters certainly helped his fear of the ocean, too.

“It ain’t all … murky, like the beach back home,” he shrugged, happily pulling you in waist deep into the water without hesitation. “M’never gonna want to go to Coney Island ever again—“ “Hey!” You playfully splashed him, “No Coney Island slander!” Gator rolled his eyes teasingly, grabbing you by the waist to drag you into the waves with him while you giggled, wrapping yourself around him in the water.

For the two of you, growing up in a landlocked, miserable state, with some of the harshest winters, there was something about the constant sunshine, perfect blue waters, and carefree moments that were healing about this trip, too.

Early November is when your real honeymoon occurs. Once you arrive to the airport, Gator reveals the destination he’d been so secretive about: Iceland.

Wait… huh?

At first, your brow quirks, puzzled; it was a stark difference from the ‘mini honeymoon’, as he called it, right after the wedding. There had to be a reason for the destination, but you were too excited to question it; any adventure with your best friend would be a good one.

Gator blindfolded you after arriving to the hotel lobby, wanting to keep some of the surprise still.

One damn sleigh ride later, one you couldn’t even enjoy the view on, you step into the hotel room, a wave of comforting heat washes over you; you hum, delighted by the instant coziness.

“Can I open my eyes now?”

With a quick kiss to your cheek, Gator loosens the blindfold from your eyes.

It’s not just a room— it’s a small dome structure, yet majority of the walls and ceiling made of a crystal clear glass. Directly outside the walls are countless pine trees, branches weighed down with the fluffiest snow piles. The sight through the ceiling is completely clear, offering a perfect view of the clear, blue skies. 

“You know why we’re here?” He helps you out of your thick winter coat before you wander around the tiny home.

Slipping out of your boots, you shuffle your socked feet across the smooth hardwood floors; there’s a fireplace across the king-sized bed, some cozy recliners, and a teensy-tiny kitchenette. It’s so cute and welcoming, except something’s missing.

You poke your head through a narrow doorway, frowning at the shower inside the bathroom. “There’s no tub to fuck in.”

Gator snorts, nodding to the space behind you, “No, but there is a hot tub.”

Whipping around with a gasp, you stumble into the doorway, “Ow!”

“Try to avoid gettin’ a concussion while we’re here, please.”

“Shut up— oh my god, this hot tub is huge!” Your jaw drops, face shoved against the glass door leading to the porch. “We gotta fuck like, five times at least, in this.”

“Is that all you can think about?”

“Excuse me for wanting to have fun on my honeymoon with my husband.”

His arms wind around your waist from behind, burying his face into your neck, lips tickling along your skin as he speaks between kisses. “Didn’t even let me explain the best part yet.”

“Which is…?”

He asks again, “Do you even know why we’re here?”

“‘Cause you missed freezing your ass off for fun?”

Gator scoffs with an eye roll; you know him well enough by now to notice, even with his dark shades on.

Too jet-lagged to think, you shake your head.

“Oh, c’mon, angel. It’s been on your bucket list since we were kids.”

Open space… huge, clear windows… out in the snowy wilderness of Iceland…

You’ve been so exhausted and giddy from the high of the wedding, it never even occurred to you why you were here— aside from being on your honeymoon, of course.

“… You’re kidding.”

You spin around to face Gator, who can’t suppress a sweet grin.

“This ain’t anythin’ to joke about.”

“We’re gonna…” You’re speechless just thinking about this long time dream coming true, and with your favorite person in the world. “The northern lights? We’re gonna see ‘em? Up there?” 

He quirks a brow, squinting behind his glasses, up through the ceiling; the bright, blue sky is completely void of clouds today.

“They’re gonna be in the sky? Huh… Thought we might find ‘em in the lake over there—“ You pinch his face teasingly, “Hey!”

“You said this isn’t something to joke about!” You admire the glass dome, but the sunlight pouring through the curtain-less windows sends you into a delayed panic. “Wait, are you gonna be okay? Shit, you can’t sleep with those sunglasses on, babe, that’s not safe, please tell me you got somethin’—“

Reaching around you, Gator presses a button on the light switch panel, and in a blink of an eye, the windows become frosted. You freeze, glancing around, then narrowing your stare at your husband.

“…. Did you break something? What the hell did you do?”

He snorts as you crane your neck to inspect the windows, now muting the light enough where it’s not pitch black, but it’s dark enough that it’s safe for his eyesight.

“It’s that fancy, smart glass shit, or whatever—“ He pauses, shaking his head at you. “Are you really gonna make me explain the fuckin’ windows on our honeymoon?”

“I dunno, babe, they’re kinda cool—“ You lose your words as he softly pushes you back onto the bed; as you sink into the down comforter and endless mountain of pillows, your eyes flutter shut as you giggle. “M’kay, g’night!”

Gator climbs on top of you, snuggling close with his face hidden in your neck. A sigh of contentment leaves him as he relaxes against you. “I love you.”

You hum happily, exhaustion finally catching up to you. “Love you, Gate.”

“We’re not gonna crawl under the covers at least?”

“Mmm’nope.”

“Always makin’ shit difficult, huh, princess?” His playful jab doesn’t earn a response; you’re already drifting deep into slumber. He takes a moment to admire you, so relaxed and at ease by his side; leaving a kiss on your forehead, he reluctantly leaves bed, taking care of you first.

Knowing you’ll eventually get cold, Gator gently tugs the covers out from beneath you, eventually succeeding while you briefly stir. He climbs back in next to you, pulling the down comforter and covers up, finally tangling himself around you and falling fast asleep.

•·················•·················•

A jarring, shrill alarm jolts you up out of bed.

“Holy shit…” Hand over your heart, you feel it pound fiercely as the alarm rings in your ears. Gator jumps, startled out of sleep and thrown headfirst into the waking world.

“Wha’the fuck’s that?” 

On the nightstand lays a box with the words “Aurora Alarm”, and it takes a few seconds to register what’s going on.

That’s a thing?

“Wait—“ You throw the covers off, onto an unsuspecting, still half-asleep Gator, who grunts as the comforter pushes him against the bed. 

“The hell you doin’?”

Looking up through the glass ceiling, you gasp at the ethereal view dancing above.

“Gator…” You pull the covers off him, and he groans, still jet-lagged. “Gator, get up!”

He pouts, turning over, away from you, “S’nighttime though…”

Grabbing his arm, you shake him excitedly. “That’s the point! Look!”

Sighing, he rolls onto his back. Peeking his eye open, he takes in the colors swirling over your heads, “No fuckin’ way…”

“C’mon, I wanna watch!” You roll out of bed, stumbling around to find your winter gear, eyes glued to the light show in the sky. You bump into the bed, flopping back onto it. 

“You’re a danger to yourself,” Gator mumbles with a smirk, finally sitting up. “We can see ‘em here just fine—“

Tugging at his arm, you attempt to pull him out of bed with you. “Get up, get up, get up—“

“Christ, okay, m’goin’!”

Shaking the sleep from your bones, the two of you bundle up, venturing out into the freezing cold.

•·················•·················•

“The whole point of renting this place was to see the sky and stay warm, angel.”

You spin around, though it’s not very graceful as you wade through the knee-high snow in multiple layers. “Yeah, but we should see them outside at least once.”

It’s decided the two of you won’t wander very far, so when you find a spot feet away from the little glass house, you throw your arms out  before falling back into the fluffy snow. A plume of loose snow puffs out around you as you giggle over the simple joy. He’s not too far behind you, mimicking you as he falls next to you.

Laughter dies down quickly once you and Gator gaze up at the breathtaking sky; the night sky is crystal clear here, with dreamy stars you’d never see back home. His heavily gloved hand flops around the snow, eventually finding your own, grip as existent as it can be among the weatherproof fabric.

“This kinda feels like that time we laid in the snow, after ya’ pulled me down next to ya’.”

“The day you were supposed to teach me some gun safety?” He hums, agreeing. “For the record, I pulled you down ‘cause you made fun of me for fallin’.”

“You had it comin’ to ya’, Darlin’.” Gator snorts a little as you scoff. “But, yeah. That day.” He contemplates his words, trying to speak from the heart without killing the moment with the gritty retelling of events that followed. “I kept lookin’ at ya’… kept thinkin’ how lucky I was to even hold your hand. The sunset was real pretty, too, made you all glowy, and shit.”

You giggle, “You got such a way with words, Tillman.”

“You’re never gonna stop with that last name shit, huh? Even if we share the same one now.”

“Never.”

He grins, though you can’t see it from where you lay. The world around you is quiet, serene; it’s just you and Gator, sunken into the fluffiest snow known to man, staring up at the aurora borealis as it blankets each of you in an illumination of spectacular, shapeshifting colors.

“I was gonna tell ya’ first, before— well, you know.” He grimaces, pushing past the darkest details. “It hit me there. Well, it hit me before that, too, but it just felt like it was you and me in that moment. No shitty families, no big, scary world around us; just you and me. Like it felt when we were together growing up.

“I ain’t mad about the way we said I love you the first time,” He admits, leaning up on his elbows to glance down at you. “But if I had the chance to go back, tell ya’ right there while we were freezing our asses off in the snow, I think I would.”

Frowning a bit, you sit up, “Why? It’s still the same no matter where you told me— and technically, I said it first.”

Gator rolls his eyes; you’re still so impressed with how seamlessly his prosthetic flows with the motions of his real eye, but that’s not important right now.

“Yeah, yeah. I’d still do it over if I could. I wish I said it to you before all of that shit went down with your dad.” He’s about to wipe away building tears, but remembers his entire being is covered in snow dust. “Hadn’t seen you that scared since we were kids…” His voice cracks as he loses his train of thought.

You shift closer to him, and it’s almost comic relief— the way you wobble on your knees crawling closer under all these layers— if the timing were better. Awkwardly, you sit in his lap, earning weak chuckles from you both as you kiss his cheek.

“I take it back; you said it first.”

“Huh?” He shakes his head, “Don’t remember sayin’ it first. N- not that it’s a competition, I just… you said it, after that nightmare, remember?”

“I do. And maybe you didn’t say it with words, but your actions that night made it clear.” Your faces are so close, warmth radiates off one another; it’s familiar, comfortable, both to your body and heart. 

It’s like the heat that was shared between you, in the sleeping bag, that only lasted a few minutes; you were emotional, drunk, as was he, and both of you deflected and ran from your feelings— but that warmth stayed with you all night.

It’s reminiscent of the next night, when the sexual tension finally broke, landing you cuffed to his bed; while deciding on a safe word, he was so close, you wanted nothing more than to kiss him right there, pouting when he told you to earn it. 

And moments later, the tender warmth he radiated— shocking the hell out of you— showering you in praises, kissing your shoulder as he reassured you while coming down from one of the most intense orgasms of your life.

His “earned kiss” offered an unexpected warmth which bloomed from within, one beyond arousal, melting your heart into familiar feelings, once buried for over a decade, finally breaking the surface.

Really, anytime there was aftercare, you felt it; an intimacy that tickled your skin in the way only sun rays can, with the same, constant warmth. 

Beyond that, too; you felt it when he grabbed your hand the moment your families came home, reassuring you: “M’not leavin’ your side, darlin’.” Felt it in the way he protected you from your father’s wrath, the way he put your safety above anything, and anyone, else.

That same warmth was a security blanket in his unexpected voicemail, while you worried and waited back in Brooklyn, fearing the worst; though his voice and spirit were broken, his love was louder.

Now, waking up every day next to your best friend, your love, your protector, your husband— there’s not a cloud in the sky, even on the stormiest days; the sun always shines with Gator by your side.

Funny, how your nickname of ‘Sunshine’ now feels like it rightfully should belong to Gator; once one the grumpiest, miserable people you’ve known, now soft, ice long gone after melting away from his heart.

“I always felt loved by you, felt love for you, since we were little.” Your cheeks hurt from how hard you’re grinning, eyes scrunching up as they become misty. “I just didn’t have a name for it ‘til that night. Hell, I knew I loved you before moving years ago, but I thought it was one sided. That night, though, when you promised you weren’t leaving my side… I knew. I felt it.

“You never once had to say it, Gator, ‘cause your heart did, first.”

Surging forward, Gator steals a kiss, passionate, but slow; between lips moving in harmony, he mumbles, “I felt it since—“ He presses his mouth to yours, sighing happily, drawing a smile across your face, one he can feel, one he knows so well by now. “— Since the day you picked those flowers f’me. I ain’t ever had a girl give me flowers since, y’know.”

“‘Cause none of ‘em knew you like I did,” you’re joking, but Gator smiles fondly, laughing a little, too.

“You’re right. No one else ever got me like you did,” he nuzzles his nose against yours, feeling you shiver against him. You feel both his response and the cold settle deep in your bones. “C’mon, let’s go back in. I’ll warm ya’ up.”

•·················•·················•

The door’s barely closed behind you before it’s a flurry of eager clumsiness; you’re ripping your jacket off, flinging your mittens across the room, while Gator’s scrambling to get his snow pants off, forgetting his boots are still on.

“Christ— why did we bother goin’ outside?” He laughs, tugging at his shoelaces, kicking his boots off, then his pants. “Shoulda’ fucked first, then went out— oof!” You’re on him in a flash, pushing him back onto the bed, tearing his sweatshirt off; he hooks his legs around your waist, flipping you over to free you from your shirt and bra.

“The experience!” You exclaim through a fit of giggles, but they die down fast, thanks to Gator kissing and biting along your neck. “Mm— god…”

“I dunno, fucking you under the northern lights might be a better experience.” He groans, hot and heavy, hips rolling into yours. 

You tug at his shirt, frowning. “The hell you still wearin’ this for?” Up and over his head it goes, thrown somewhere within the room among the other clothes; that’s a problem for future Mr. And Mrs. Tillman.

“Should be askin’ yourself that,” He yanks your leggings and panties down, relishing in the yelp you return. But he slows down, as much as he’d rather not. “Maybe we should…” He’s already panting. “First time on the honeymoon should be all sweet, and shit, right?”

You think about it, and nod slowly… then shake your head. 

“Babe, pick one,” Gator chuckles. 

“When the hell have we ever stuck by traditions and shit? Like— oh, who fucking cares.” Your legs wrap around his waist, tugging him closer. Giggling, you murmur, “My tits are cold, c’mere.”

“Can’t have that, can we?”

Any and all sounds of carefree silliness fade out as he kisses down your body.

“Gator…”

“M’yeah?” His lips drag against your skin, leaving a wet trail in their wake. Your hands reach for his shoulders, and he yelps from the sudden chill. “Fuckin-a— gimme those,” he pries your hands off of him, bundling them together in his own, breathing warmth against your skin. “Even with those thick-ass mittens you still get corpse hands.”

You laugh, “Stop callin’ ‘em that!”

“It’s the truth! You had ‘em that night we shared a sleeping bag, and they’re still just as cold,” he teases with a smirk.

You remember that night fondly— how it was a turning point for the both of you, rebuilding a bridge once collapsed into rubble. How infuriating he was, but deep down, you loved it. You loved the teasing, the flirting, even the short-lived sentimental exchange… before he became insufferable again.

Even that, though, you loved, too.

“I love you.” The small display of affection is effortless, yet you need it to survive, as much as each breath you take and return. 

Gator picks up where he left off, kisses traveling down your figure again, murmuring “I love you,” into your skin. The kisses grow sloppier the closer he inches to your heat, but you whine, tugging on his hair gently to stop him. “What? S’wrong?”

“Need you,” pouting, you tug at his hair again, eliciting a delicious, deep groan from him. 

“I know, Darlin’, I got ya’, jus’ be good for me.” Gator’s tongue flits out at your folds, and you gasp, but still attempt to pull him away. “Babe—“

“Later, just want you, need you in me,” you babble wantonly. “C’mere, please?”

“You sure?” When you nod and hum eagerly, he crawls back up your body, gently pushing your legs apart; you hold them up, whimpering while he glides the tip of his cock along your clit, dragging down to catch in your entrance every so often. “Always makin’ the sweetest noises for me, huh?”

“Please…” you whimper again, arching your hips up into him. 

Gator takes you by surprise, leaning back against the pillows while tugging you on top of him. You giggle over the quick maneuver, grinding your core against his length. His head tips back into the cushions, lids fluttering shut as his mouth falls open. He grabs your hips, lazily guiding you in the back and forth motion against him.

Under the cover of night, your bodies seamlessly blend together like the brilliant colors in the sky above. In every gasp, shiver, and moan, Gator’s blissed out expression is shaded in a kaleidoscope of hues.

From way the green illuminates in his eyes, to the blue offering you an ethereal glow, while the pink kisses his skin, dancing over each and every freckle and mole, and purple wrapping both of you together, this is the closest you’ve ever felt to Gator. 

In one final roll of your hips, you take him in, adjusting and settling against one another with sweet sighs and gasps.

“There ya’ go, angel…” Gator grunts as he sits up, restraining himself from slamming up into you. “S’what y’needed all day, huh?”

“All day… yesterday… what time zone are we in?” You giggle in a daze, languidly rising and falling onto his shaft. 

“Fuck if I know,” he chuckles huskily, kissing your neck, nipping lazily at your sensitive skin. His hands glide up your body, reaching your breasts to rub his thumbs against your piercings. You shudder with a breathy laugh as he kisses down your chest, lips ghosting over one of the sensitive buds. When one hand runs through his hair, pushing him closer to your chest, he chuckles, almost mockingly, “Don’t be greedy, Darlin’.”

Lapping at your nipple, he latches on, sucking softly while finding a steady rhythm as he thrusts deep into you. An obscene, low hum vibrates out of him against your body, adding to the pleasure you feel everywhere.

You chant his name with each thrust, whiny whispers that he responds to by picking up his pace.

“S’my good girl,” Gator murmurs, trailing his lips back up your neck. “You’re mine, yeah? All mine?”

“M’all y- yours…” Losing yourself in the bliss, it feels familiar. Like you’ve been here with him before, but something feels more complete. “And you’re… you’re all mine, right?”

The possessiveness isn’t from a toxic source, it’s one of reassurance.

Just like the night before you flew back home; exposing every inch of your heart and soul while Gator made love to you in the back of his truck, underneath an abundant starry night sky.

You hold his face in both your hands, admiring the dazed, blissed-out expression that only grows. The shades of the sky continue to paint across his beautiful face, highlighting to you what a difference in time and healing can make. 

The night before you flew back home, Gator was still beautiful to you, still handsome as ever, but he looked worn; appearing as if he was hanging on by a thread— and he was. Having you around for the first time in a decade brought some life to what he once accepted as a permanent scowl, lit a spark in his lifeless eyes. 

Tonight, he’s the Gator you’ve always known; even with his compromised eyesight— the mostly faded scar that runs from his brow bone to just under his remaining eye, the prosthetic in the other— there’s so much light in his gaze. There’s so much hope, and love, ambition to keep living, not just survive. He’s not fading into muted neutrals, there’s bursts of color and light replacing that scowl, and genuine smiles where the cocky smirk once laid.

… Well, most of the time— he saves that smirk to tease you with, at least, like right now, when he responds, “M’all yours.” The expression fades, though, when he leans in, whispering with strength and certainty against your lips, “Forever.”

[starstruckmoony]

style.

masterlist

pairing - sirius black x fem!reader

summary - you and sirius start dating after accidentally running into each other at a concert but confirm nothing, just to watch everyone lose their shit online.

trope/tags - band/celeb!au, instagram/social media!au, modern!au, fluff, terrible humour

word count - 1k

warnings - language

part 1 / part 2 / part 3

yourusername

❤ liked by starmanblack, cissy_blck, r.a.black and 804,337 others

yourusername mirror's dirty but i felt pretty

7,164 comments

starmanblack damn smash

yourusername thirsty mf

starmanblack you're not wrong

cissy_blck i promise i'm cooler than your boyfriend

luciusssy i love you too bae

cissy_blck 🥰

bartyyy can you sign my house?

yourusername i'll see what i can do

lily_evans UMMMMMM MOTHER?

mmmckinnon mommy.

prongsyboy mama?

starmanblack PRONGS

user128836 i don't know the colour of anything

user702655 YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND????

user358991 sirius said smash and i agree

user073823 the only man we trust

user662627 i'm gonna clown so hard but why did half of sirius family like this post?

user491175 i almost sent a thirst tweet

starmanblack

❤ liked by yourusername, ev.rosier, marymacdonald and 799,853 others

starmanblack boyfriend vibes 😩

6,897 comments

yourusername very real

starmanblack i'm flattered

yourusername you better be

yourusername you still smell like horse tho

starmanblack go away

prongsyboy did you tell him i said hi?

starmanblack i got you his autograph

mmmckinnon you didn't even tag the photographer smh

starmanblack why are you offended in the name of the photographer?

mmmckinnon i'm just defending my wifey

casmeadowes i wasn't there???

user075764 DATE ME

user246766 you single?

user113388 he's dating y/n l/n

user300722 i volunteer to take your bf photos 🤚

user943534 CONFIRM THE RUMOURS I'M BEGGING

user855465 y/n has a boyfriend and you just put boyfriend in the caption so i'll live in delusion from now on

user464646 i wanna be a horse

prongsyboy added to their story

yourusername

❤ liked by starmanblack, pandorasbox, rjlupin and 844,008 others

yourusername london, i'm speechless. i had the most amazing time with all of you last night and i can't wait to perform for you again 💞 hearing you guys sing your hearts out with me was truly magical, thank you sooo much and i love love love every single one of you 💕 also! a special thanks that friend group from the first row who gave me a bunch of plushies, my heart is extra happy 😚

tagged ev.rosier

8,677 comments

starmanblack i was there, i can confirm

yourusername I COULDN'T SEE YOU IN THE CROWD AT FIRST AND I GOT SO SAD

starmanblack lol i love you sm

starmanblack my guitar fits your aesthetic nicely

yourusername i know right?!? me and her were meant to be

marymacdonald when i say best concert of my life i mean it

yourusername i don't deserve you

bartyyy first row seats hmghnhm 😩

yourusername perks of dating the photographer

ev.rosier you're welcome bartemius

user201010 i cried ugly tears

user927161 i formally apologise to the people who were near me 💀

user472738 ARE Y'ALL SEEING THIS??? THEY'RE DEFO DATING

user928312 YOU PLAYED MY FAVOURITE SONG AND I WASN'T THERE 😭😭😭

user446286 one of those plushies was from meeeee

user018381 lost my voice but it feels so right

starmanblack

❤ liked by yourusername, marymacdonald, lily_evans and 810,777 others

starmanblack ok.

7,995 comments

yourusername he loves you

starmanblack he bit my converse

yourusername it was an act of love

starmanblack AND HE STOLE ONE OF MY DOCS

yourusername IT. WAS. AN. ACT. OF. LOVE.

yourusername bet you deserved that

starmanblack you were just saying he loves me?

yourusername was i though?

vance_emm what in the gaslighting hell is going on above me?

r.a.black wdym? i'm loving it

user242539 i've yet to see a normal picture of this little guy

user301453 THE BICKERING LMAOOO

user463646 HELP HE'S VIOLATING YOU

user857433 he's in his reputation era

user302770 THIS DOG PLS

yourusername added to their story

celeb_gossip

♡ 37,022 likes

celeb_gossip a scandal is on its way! 👀 there's been word on the street that sirius black and y/n l/n have had a little something going on since the beginning of the year, and we are almost certain that this isn't just another case of senseless rumours. 🙈 other than constantly interacting with one another on social media, the two have been pictured entering l/n's apartment after what seemed like a romantic night out. 😌 several sources can prove that the couple has been caught in ways that scream everything BUT platonic, and we deem them quite credible. 😉 but in the light of all of this, the two singers haven't said anything. what do you think? 🤔 are they secretly together? 🤭 or are they secretly laughing at all of us? 😶 leave your opinion in the comments! 😘

12,558 comments

user438185 oH

user019570 EVERYBODY STAY CALM

user837999 i hope they sue you lol

user262626 they're defo laughing at us

user823715 THE POWER THESE TWO WOULD HOLD AS A COUPLE

user192072 LMAO THEY'D BREAK THE INTERNET IF THEY CONFIRMED IT

user137753 get a life wtf

user020191 pretty sure they're together

user647275 this is out of line

user244411 nah cause paps should be illegal

user302906 I NEED THEM TO SAY SOMETHING I'M LITERALLY FREAKING OUT

user522727 dunno but i want whatever they have going on

yourusername

❤ liked by bellatrixieb, cissy_blck, r.a.black and 855,006 others

yourusername tea pages are saying that i'm dating this weirdo 🤪

tagged starmanblack

10,675 comments

starmanblack people just love being funny

yourusername making me shed tears

starmanblack you could have found a better picture at least 🙄

yourusername fym? this is top tier stuff

starmanblack you're not getting your shades back

yourusername funny 🤣 i'll steal them back today 😐

vance_emm yeah and i'm a hamster

marymacdonald you kind of look like one though 🥺

mmmckinnon LMAOOOOO

starmanblack not you talking

mmmckinnon lmaoing ≠ talking

user283800 guess this confirms it ☹

user916373 WHY DO REG AND SIRIUS' COUSINS KEEP LIKING ALL YOUR POSTS THIS MAKES ME CONFUSEDDDD

user758234 does this mean you're free to date me?

user424116 YOU'RE TROLLING US

user021725 double meaning? (pls say sike i'm desperate)

user024477 calling sirius up rn

user555641 GUYS THERE'S STILL HOPE MAYBE THEY'RE JOKING AROUND

user828295 okay but does it actually matter 💀

starmanblack

❤ liked by lily_evans, pandorasbox, casmeadowes and 873,253 others

starmanblack feeding the paps

11,994 comments

yourusername bet they're still starving

starmanblack we should make out and post it

yourusername twitter will go CRAZYYY

yourusername we look dead tho

starmanblack i reckon it's the cheap wine

yourusername you calling me poor?

starmanblack 😇

prongsyboy i still don't get how or why you had my glasses

starmanblack aesthetic purposes

xeno_lovegood that's cute 🤩

starmanblack facts ong fr fr

cissy_blck reggie's sil

bellatrixieb i'm so jealous

user472721 I WANT

user882923 I CAN'T DECIDE WHO THE LUCKY ONE IS

user382541 NAUR STOP MESSING WITH US

user773724 WHATTGEDHQUXJQDJJQSJJW

user482972 OH MY GOD?????????

user362613 narcissa's comments making me all hopeful

user924474 I'M SO STRESSED

starmanblack added to their story

[johntayjinf]

i caved in and bought renoise

also sorry tumblr i constantly delete this because i have way too many mixing hiccups to fix... was being too hasty haha

for a tracker with daw features like track mixers, vst support, automation, filters etc., it's pretty impressive what you can do with it. finally i get to do hq music without having to wrap my head around more conventional daws; i like the inconvenience of modern tracker interfaces myself, actually.

the first time i had to arrange for something hq like this, the biggest obstacle and wake-up call i had to face was the fact that uh, my mixing skills weren't up to snuff. fixing it was a nightmare. biggest thing i didn't know at the time of arranging was that sidechaining the bass was really important, otherwise the bass drum (kick) wouldn't be heard and be overpowered by the bass. this was pointed out to me by a server member of ours, lolwe. they've been mixing for about 7-8 years and counting so they understand it pretty well... and actually the final mix was made just this morning to actually fix the entire mix lol.

other more minor mixing issues were ironed out with eq-ing, which i have a bit of experience of, though it was pointed out by dinebon_, yet another (new!) server member, who was primarily a bassist. they also pointed out some unwanted dissonance i had put in for the arrangement.

i understand that mixing is pretty much subjective and everyone does it differently, but it should be worth pointing out that there are some rookie mistakes that someone like me _can_ make. i may be a good arranger but this mix wouldn't have sounded better if it weren't for people giving me advice and pointers on how to fix things. i definitely think that getting input from a variety of artists who have different strengths helps to put a mix together and give listeners a more comfortable listening experience, so from now on, i'll be at the very least, sidechaining my basslines with the kick for better mixing. sorry if this doesn't sound great for everyone lol

the vst i used on the other hand, has _a lot_ of technical problems.

i think we all here love the sound canvas series of midi synthesizers, but i unfortunately do not have the money to buy the physical hardware (yet), so i stuck to the roland cloud sc vst. god, it is a terrible technical mess...

obviously the sc is sampled beautifully, and is iconic in the video game music world, but how the hell do you mess up a vst _this_ badly? it has _inverted stereo_, which is, a fad from waaaaaay back when. i'm happy i got to simply fix this through audacity but good grief, man. i had to export each instrument one by one just so i could identify which instruments were cancelling themselves out on mono and which ones weren't. genuinely horrifying stuff. there are also the in-built low-end and high-end boosters, but what about the mids? i'm going to assume that it's just a feature of the time but god i honestly wish they added middle frequency knobs. not that i can't fix that with eq post-production, but i'd rather not do that (especially for the main melody) unless if the problem really is a big deal. again, i love the sound canvas, but i wish that the vst were better; the technical problems i had to work with ended up souring the experience. i wish people could actually fix it some day and turn it into something greater. i'll likely use the vst again but i also want to mix in other instrument and sample libraries as well!

in the meantime, this arrange gave me a crave for kirby again. i love kdl3 sm, it is my favorite game of the gb - snes era of games. idk how but jun ishikawa writes these intoxicating songs for kirby and i am just left to rot listening to them. they are waaaayy too good.

[badasgirlfriend]

Stolen Hoodie | Bada Lee Social Media Au

pairings: bada lee x shin nari

prev - next

a/n: i just wanted to say thankkkk u sm for giving stolen hoodie a chance the support ive been getting is so crazyyyyy i love all of u

"C'mon, girl." Aeri told her best friend as they drove in her car to Xiaoting's party. "Don't overthink, just have a good time," she urged, flashing a cheerful smile.

"Yeah i'll try" Nari said smiling "I just hope i dont see her"

Aeri hesitated to say something, she didnt want to lie after all the whole dance class will be there probably

"if you do.." Aeri paused "just ignore her"

"Thank you, Aeri," Nari said, staring at her best friend with determination. "For everything - for always being by my side and having my back, no matter what. I really hope I can return it all to you someday."

"Oh quit it," Aeri replied, pretending to be annoyed but unable to hide her warm smile at Nari's words. "You've always been by my side just as much as I've been by yours - and you're the first one to show up when I need someone too. Don't doubt yourself - we've got each other's backs, that's what being best friends is all about." As Aeri spoke, she gave Nari a light punch on the shoulder in response to her earlier action, causing both of them to giggle in amusement.

As Aeri pulled her car into the driveway, she turned off the engine and removed the keys from the ignition.

"Wow," Nari breathed, her eyes widening as she took in the sight of her Xiaoting's house. It was enormous - far more spacious than she had imagined. "This place is huge!"

The cold air hit the girls as they exited the vehicle, taking a moment to adjust to the sudden change in temperature. Nari glanced down at her outfit, adjusting the straps of her bralette as she did so. She had paired it with a white crop top and a skirt-shorts hybrid that she had made a few days ago, creating a unique ensemble that suited her well.

"Okay sexy, let's get inside," Aeri said with a smirk, smacking Nari's ass hard enough to make her wince.

"Ow, that hurt, you bitch!" Nari groaned, turning to face her friend

"Lets go," Aeri grabbed her hand and guided them into the house. As soon as they entered, Nari's eyes widened in surprise. The place was already packed with people - far more than she had expected at such an early stage in the party.

Some were dancing some were drinking, and some girls were already on the floor passed out drunk

"Nari!" Aeri exclaimed as the song "Shake That Ass" by Eminem and Nate Dogg began playing.

"Hell yeah," Nari replied, pulling the shorter girl onto the dance floor.

Sure! Here's a more descriptive version of their dance:

The pair begun moving their hips back and forth seductively, grinding against each other as they danced. Every movement was fluid and in sync with the beat of the song, as they both let their bodies move with the music in a way that left little to the imagination.

Nari and Aeri were lost in the moment, the rhythm of the music coursing through their bodies as they swayed seductively. Nari wrapped her arm around Aeri, moving down until she was grinding her hips sensually against her best friend. The music was intoxicating, the vibrations of the beat adding to the thrilling sensation of their bodies moving together. Their eyes were locked on each other, both of them smiling and having fun

"Shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me, come on girl!" the best friends shouted the lyrics in unison, their voices rising above the music as they continued dancing with one another.

Bada wasn't having fun at all. She regretted having listened to Tatters' suggestion to come. However, she looked around in hopes of finding her best friend - and her eyes fell on a familiar boy talking to her.

Yeonjun.

As he felt somebody's eyes on him, Yeonjun turned towards Bada and glared at her

Bada simply rolled her eyes, her gaze wandering over to the two girls who had just entered the house. However, as soon as she recognized who they were, she was taken aback - almost choking on her drink as she realized who it was.

"Fuck" Bada cursed under her breath, her eyes trailing the brunette girl. She had never seen Nari in person before, but seeing her here in the flesh, she was truly stunned - the pictures didn't even come close to doing her justice.

Nari didn't see her, and Bada was thankful for it. She watched her and Aeri go over to the dance floor and begin moving, bodies swaying sensually in perfect harmony. The music filled the air with an infectious beat, and the heat of the moment brought out passionate and seductive vibes that made the party even more electric.

Bada's heart beat rapidly in her chest as she watched Nari dance, her movements flowing with grace and elegance that made her even more magnificent. Bada felt herself become distracted and had to swallow back her desire to keep watching, feeling a little guilty that she found her so alluring.

"You sneaky little thing." Bada nearly jumped out of her skin when Tatter spoke out of nowhere, startling her.

"You really need to stop doing that," Bada scoffed as she snatched Tatter's drink back from her.

"Hey, I was drinking that." Tatter pouts

"Too late." Bada shrugs nonchalantly. Tatter playfully glares at her for a moment before taking her drink back and taking a sip.

"Ehh" Tatter sighed, placing her hand on her hip "If you didn't act like an idiot, you would be the one dancing with her."

'Shut up," Bada said, chuckling as she pushed Tatter away lightly, amused by her friend's remark.

Hours passed, and Nari had no clue where Aeri was. After a while of searching, she found herself perched on top of a table, swaying and dancinh to the song "Tell Me" by Wonder Girls. She was completely inebriated, as she didn't remember how she got there. In her drunken state, she lost all her shame, along with her worries, as she began to dance on the table, lost in the music. She forgot about anything holding back, no sense of embarrassment left in her drunken state. The music filled every part of her soul, sending her into another world where she was the star of her own little personal show, where the only thing that mattered was her and the music, everything else forgotten.

"Come on, everyone!" Nari yelled, her voice ringing out over the loud crowd. As everyone erupted in cheers of encouragement, she felt her heart racing with excitement. With a wide smile on her face, Nari began to sing more like yell "Tell me, tell me, tell me too, want me want me want me too"

"Tell me, tell me, tell me you love me too, love me too," the crowd shouted back making Nari giggle

Bada's attention was drawn when she heard a familiar voice ring out, causing her to look up and spot nari high up on the table, singing and dancing. She couldn't help but chuckle at the sight, realising that Nari was likely the voice she had heard a few weeks ago.

Bada's laughter vanished when she saw nari begin to lift up her top, a look of concern quickly appearing on her face. "Nari, get down," Bada yelled, a sense of urgency to her voice.

Nari giggled as she looked around, unable to concentrate on anything else. "What? Where are you?"

Bada felt the urge to roll her eyes, the alcohol clearly taking its toll on Nari's senses. "Come on, get down." She grabbed Nari by the hand, a sense of concern and worry mixed with irritation growing inside her.

Nari finally focused her gaze on Bada, their eyes meeting, and Bada suddenly felt like time had slowed down. Her short hair sticking out in all directions in an endearing manner, framed her sharp but delicate face. Her features were still accentuated by the shadows, highlighting her high cheekbones on her smooth complexion. Her expression was soft and playful, a slight grin playing on her lips while she laughed silently

"When Nari recognized who had grabbed her hand, she immediately stopped laughing, her expression turning into a glare. 'What are you doing here?' she snapped her tone colder than before

"Get down"

"No!"

"Stop lifting your top and get down, Nari - you're embarassing yourself," Bada said firmly, trying to make her friend comply with her request.

"I'll lift this up," Nari said, giving her a sarcastic smile and lifting her middle finger up.

Bada let out a low groan and closed her eyes. She grabbed her hand again and with a sudden jerk, she pulled Nari up onto her shoulder, leaving her feet dangling in the air. Nari screamed as she found herself facing away from Bada,

"Put me down!" Nari screamed out, her grip on Bada's arm getting even tighter, her hands holding on stubbornly. She refused to budge, hanging on for dear life, while Bada sighed and finally reached a room, and as she entered, Nari's screams changed to a mumble, her voice going soft and her grip loosening. She was so drunk she couldn't even scream anymore, her body limp in Bada's arms.

Bada sighed and bent down, and managed to lower Nari safely onto the ground. Nari was ready to yell at Bada again, but she stopped herself when she saw how close they were. Even in her drunken state, Nari was slightly anxious as she stood in front of Bada, her proximity making her feel nervous. She was dressed casually with a jersey and beige cargo pants.

She didn't know if she was panicking because of Bada standing in front of her or because of the intense urge to vomit that was building up inside her. Her stomach churned and bubbled, as her body was about to rid itself from all that alcohol she drank "I'll be back"

Bada's eyes widened as Nari bolted past her into the bathroom, almost tripping over her feet, Bada followed Nari into the bathroom, seeing her kneeling on the toilet, her head resting on the bowl while she vomited.

Bada immediately dashed towards her side, holding her hair up so that it wouldn't get caught by the vomit that was spewing out of her mouth.

Nari managed to raise her head for a moment. "Sorry, Bada..." she mumbled, her voice quiet and her words slurred.

Bada shook her head gently, reassuring Nari that it was alright "Continue if it makes you feel better" she added

With a small nod, Nari continues to vomit into the toilet, and Bada just held her hair

After Nari was done vomiting, Bada helped her up and dragged her over to the sink so she could clean the excess out of her mouth. Nari's eyes were still glazed over with booze and her face was flushed, but she still managed to feel embarrassed at being this drunk and having to be taken care of by Bada.

Somehow, Nari managed to walk alone towards the bed. She threw herself down onto the soft mattress, groaning out loud about how comfortable it felt. The alcohol was starting to make its effects known in her body again, and Nari felt the need to lie down and close her eyes. She yawned and let out a deep sigh, her eyes closing slowly, Bada, watching her all this time, smiles softly.

"I won't remember this so..." Nari slurred her words, her voice heavily affected "I didn't want to be late, I was truly excited... and that creepy guy just happened to be there,"

"We don't..." Bada sighed deeply, "we don't need to talk about that"

"Maybe you dont want to but i do" Nari said "I hate being called a liar while im telling the truth. What you said to me was really harsh it made me so upset"

"Maybe you were right..." Nari says, her tone slightly defeated as she rolls over to her other side. "Yeah maybe Im a burden to my friends but I can't. But they don't even know half the things I- nevermind" Nari continues, sounding more resigned than upset or angry.

Bada watches her roll over, and catches a glimpse of bruises on Nari's waist. She furrows her brows, her gaze growing sharp as she pulls up the fabric of Nari's shirt to reveal more bruises, a little more alarmed now than before.

"Oh, that..." Nari laughs nervously, trying to make light of the situation. "I fell while I was playing tag with my sister," she chuckles. "I couldn't sit right for two whole days." Nari smoothly lies, her eyes darting around the room to ensure that Bada doesn't see through this lie.

This causes Bada to raise her eyebrow in suspicion "Nari-"

Bada started to say, but she was cut off when Aeri opened the door and let out a relieved sigh after seeing Nari in bed. She had been worried about her best friend's well-being and it felt good to see her in a more relaxed state.

"Oh, she was with you." Aeri said, turning to look at Bada "Thank you for taking care of her"

"It's nothing," Bada replied, waving off her thanks

"Come on bae, we'll go home now." Aeri walks over to the bed and grabs Nari by the shoulder.

"No, I don't want to go there-" Nari begins to argue, but Aeri quickly interrupts her.

"My house okay, you're staying at mine tonight." Aeri clarifies, trying to reassure her friend.

"With that, Nari stands up, her arm around Aeri's shoulder, and the two walk away, leaving Bada alone.

Bada's hope of some sort of reaction from Nari was quickly shut down, however, as Nari simply turns and looks at Bada, staying silent and not saying anything. She didn't utter a word, not even a little "fuck you." as Bada wanted.

"What am I getting myself into?" Bada sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration.

[cherryflavoured7777]

okay i’m thinking a fic where you’re spending your first christmas with Hazel 🥹 and making a gingerbread house while drinking hot cocoa and watching movies… like TONS of fluff im in love with her.

PS i love u and ur writing so much 🩷

THANK U SM ANGEL <3 ily.

(THIS IS PURE FLUFF. BORDERLINE TOO SWEET BUT I AM A very cheesy hoe IM SORRY, you have been warned)

You and Hazel spend your first Christmas Eve together. <3.

word count: 2k

⭐️🎄⭐️🎄⭐️🎄⭐️

December 24th, Christmas Eve, found you spending the entire day at your girlfriend Hazel's house. The two of you totally immersing yourselves in a festive atmosphere, indulging in baking sessions, adding last minute decorations to the space, and listening to a blend of both classic Christmas tunes and your personal favourite songs.

You stood at the kitchen island, putting the finishing touches on a round of baking.

"Smells amazing, baby," Hazel sighed as she wrapped her arms around you from behind, observing you intently as you worked on mixing your second batch of cookies.

"Yeah?" you hummed.

"Mhmm, can't wait to try them." You felt the comforting weight of her chin resting on your shoulder, a warmth spreading through your body.

In the oven, your initial batch of Christmas cookies baked, ready to accompany the gingerbread house you were about to create.

Hazel snakes her arm in-front of you, dipping her finger into the cookie batter you're mixing.

"Hey! no tasting the batter yet." you protest.

"It's not for me, I already snuck a taste when you weren't looking. Open your mouth. You gotta try it."

Hazel’s hands met your waist again, and she gently spun you around.

She drew you a bit closer, fingers gently encircling your waist as she slid her batter-covered finger into your mouth, inviting you to taste. Her eyes grew slightly darker as she watched you slowly suck the batter off her finger, pupils fixated on your mouth. With raised eyebrows, she watched you expectantly.

"See?" She removes her finger from your mouth and licks the excess batter off her finger. "My girl can bake."

It all feels incredibly domestic, and merely being in her presence evokes a flutter in your stomach, a sensation that persists despite the fact that you see her almost every day. Love with Hazel unfolds in unexpectedly simple moments, and you can't help but feel fortunate, a sentiment she shares. The idea of experiencing such a pure connection once seemed unlikely to her, until she met you.

Your eyes stay fixated on hers before for a moment before she speaks.

"I love having you here,” she blurted out.

“I love being here,” you replied.

"No," she seemed a bit frustrated, as if you didn't fully grasp how deeply she meant it.

"Seeing you here gets me excited. Excited about what the future holds for us, you know? I know it sounds insane, or maybe like I’m thinking too far down the line, but I can't wait to come home to you existing in our place one day. Our kitchen, with the stuff we picked out together." Though confident and intentional, you could tell Hazel’s words were laced with vulnerability and a tad of insecurity.

Hazel’s words didn’t freak you out, though, they actually did the opposite. You never imagined you could feel so deeply enamored with another person. Truthfully, you would give her whatever she wanted.

"I know, Haze. Me too. I think about it so much, more than you know," you reassure her.

Hands still on your waist, she lifts you onto the countertop, adjusting slightly to stand between your legs.

Your hand instinctively reaches up to hold her face. You were both so young, and perhaps naive, but you never let that stop you from having these thoughts. You felt you owed yourself a completely lovesick, teenage romance, not tainted by fears of the future, not yet at least.

Your hands brush a strand of brown hair from her face, and you lean down to kiss her.

Whenever you kissed Hazel, you understood why people wanted to kiss, why they chased this feeling.

Growing up, you never quite understood it as much. But here in this moment, and every other one like it, you finally did. The warmth of her lips against yours, the subtle taste of cookie batter lingering between you—it's a simple joy that seems to encapsulate everything sweet and pure in your shared world.

You pull away, leaving her chasing you for more “Alright we gotta get these out of the oven, get out of my way,” you playfully command.

Walking over to put on your oven mitts, you take the tray out, carefully placing it on the stove. The sugary sweet aroma of the cookies envelops the kitchen with a rich warmth.

“I think we make a pretty good team,” Hazel says, smiling at you and admiring your baking.

“What are you talking about? I did all the work,” you tease, giggling as you await her response, turning back around to face her.

“Hey! That’s not true, I-” You cut off her protest with another kiss, choosing to indulge her instead of teasing her further. She smiles into the kiss, grabbing your waist before before her fingers start to trail along your spine, igniting a electricity against your skin. Letting the heated exchange linger, the playful banter transforms into a more intense moment as she slowly walks you backward and pushes you against the counter again.

The kitchen's warmth now feels more noticeable as ever as Hazel's lips leave yours and find their way to the sensitive curve of your neck. Soft, breathy sighs escape your lips, and you feel the air thicken around you. Hazel's hands move with purpose, exploring the contours of your body, leaving a trail of fire in their wake.

The magnetic pull between you intensifies, making it momentarily hard to focus on anything but the rising wanting in your chest. Yet, amidst the heat of the moment, Hazel manages to steer the energy back to your task, her lips lingering near your ear.

“Okay, ready to tackle this beast?” she asks, motioning to the unopened gingerbread house. The mischievous glint in her eyes tells you that she knew exactly what she was doing.

“Absolutley.” you smile, trying to seem unphased and ignore the growing heat between your thighs.

The next half-hour is spent constructing the gingerbread house with Hazel around her kitchen table. She eventually pulls you onto her lap on her chair, her arms encircling you as she reaches behind with the frosting, guiding your hands to steady them as you outline the bodies of the gingerbread men. Laughter reverberates through the room as you and Hazel engage in a frosting fight, adorning the gingerbread with colorful candies and sprinkles, not really paying too much attention to where you're putting them.

“This looks like shit,” you say, staring at your handiwork. Hastily, you reach to save the drooping roof thats caving in.

You can feel Hazel’s breath against your ear behind you as she lets out a laugh, her arms wrapping around you to help salvage the falling structure. The shared moment becomes a sweet memory, even if the gingerbread house didn't turn out as planned.

"I think it's perfect," Hazel declares, placing a gentle kiss on your cheek.

You glance around the room, the glow of Christmas lights casting a warm ambiance. The sound of holiday music playing softly in the background adds to the sweetness of the moment.

“Come on, I’m getting sleepy, let's go watch a movie,” she says, lifting you off her lap, interlacing your hand with hers as she pulls you up the stairs to her room.

You make your way up to Hazel's room, quickly discarding your T-shirt in exchange for one of her oversized sweatshirts, carrying her comforting scent.

Entering the bathroom, you find Hazel already brushing her teeth. You grab your toothbrush from the cup beside her sink, one that you kept there all the time because she insisted.

Staring at each other in the mirror, you both giggle as you brush your teeth in tandem, finding joy in the simplicity of shared routines. When Hazel finishes, she comes up behind you, grabbing a hair tie to keep your hair away from your face as you wash it. She mindlessly held your hips as you bent over to splash water on your face.

You and Hazel were both extremely clingy, but you couldn’t help it, always wanting to be close.

After both of you finish your skincare, you make your way over to her bed, clicking on the remote to her TV as you get comfortable under the covers.

“Okay, you have two choices, Home Alone or The Holiday?” you say as she climbs into bed beside you. She smells like soap and cookie batter.

“Why only those two?” She shifts under the covers, positioning herself beside you.

“Because those are my favourites,” you reply.

“I’ll watch whatever you want, babe,” Hazel says, a yawn escaping her mouth as she wraps her arm around you.

“If you fall asleep, I’m gonna be sad,” you warn. “I want to stay up with you until at least midnight. It's our first Christmas together, and I have to go home in the morning.” You pout.

Hazel’s eyes reflect a certain sadness in them, like she didn’t know how much you wanted her to stay awake. All of a sudden, it's as if her tiredness is gone as she sits up and walks across the room. She opens her closet and pulls something out, a large, flat, wrapped gift.

"Okay, I have something for you," Hazel grinned, excitement dancing in her eyes.

“But, my gifts for you are at home, I thought we were waiting until tomorrow.” You say, a pang of guilt hitting you.

“Shh- it’s fine. I want you to open it now, it’s just a small thing, I have more for tomorrow.” she says.

Her hands trembling slightly with anticipation, Hazel handed over the gift, a hint of nervousness in her smile. Your eyes light up as you accept the package, curiosity mingling with joy.

"Oh wow, Hazel, it's so beautifully wrapped," you say, carefully unwrapping the present.

As the paper fell away, revealing a sleek and elegant box, Hazel couldn't help but hold her breath. You opened the box to find a delicate frame containing a customized star map. The night sky on the night you first met, immortalized in a celestial display.

"Oh, Hazel," you gasped, your eyes welling up with emotion. You recongized the date immediately "Is this…?"

Hazel nodded, her heart swelling with affection. "It's the night we first met. The stars above us that night," she explained, her voice tender.

You and Hazel constantly argue about your first official time meeting. The truth is, she’d watched you from afar for months, never thinking she’d actually have a chance with you. You didn’t officially talk until the first night of senior year, at the annual senior campout. You’d spent basically that entire night with Hazel, following her in awe as she pointed out different constellations to you, her infatuation with astronomy becoming quickly apparent.

You traced your fingers over the constellations, a smile playing on your lips. "This is incredible. I can't believe you did this."

Hazel leaned in, placing a gentle kiss on your cheek. "I wanted us to have a piece of that moment forever. Something to remind us of where it all began."

The room seemed to shimmer with warmth as you pulled Hazel into a tight embrace, the framed star map cradled between you two.

“Thank you, Haze. I love it.” You whisper into her hair.

“Your welcome, baby. I’m glad you like it” she whispers back.

You spend the next two hours tangled up together watching The Holiday. Completely content in eachothers presence. As the credits roll, Hazel’s hands find yours, lightly toying with your fingers. “Hey, pass me your phone.” She whispers.

You reach for it beside you and hand it to her. She turns it on, the clock showing 12:13am, December 25th. She turns to look at you, beaming.

“We made it,” she says smiling, pressing a quick kiss to the corner of your mouth.

“Merry Christmas, baby.” She buried her head in the crook of your neck, peppering warm kisses all over.

“Merry Christmas, my love.” You whisper, hands finding her hair.

She coaxes you onto your side, pulling you into her, gently stroking your hair. The movie soundtrack faded into the background, replaced by the quiet cadence of your shared breaths. Hazel's fingers traced soothing patterns on your back, and as the clock ticked away the minutes, you succumbed to the gentle pull of sleep.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

NAHHH CAUSE I NEED A GF THIS CHRISTMAS NOW. WILL I EVER FIND LOVE??

[braxlrose]

Modern bill request modern bill request

How about Bill and his gf being opposites in the sense of 💅💕✨🎤 bill and 🖤✨🎸🐈‍⬛ reader, someone who dresses a bit more masculine in a way too! I love bill sm i love when people accept how he is now

modern!bill dating his polar opposite

• I feel like he totally loves your style. I think he's totally into the black cat/golden retriever relationship and loves you so much.

• even though he's much more 💅 ✨️ 💖 now, he still is really good at shopping and your styles are much closer than you think they're. bill is just way more colorful.

• whenever you two go shopping together, he picks out the best clothes for the both of you. you both get studded jackets but yours are usually black and his are either black or pink, or an assortment of colors for an outfit on stage. he's also really good at picking out skirts for you.

• you're much more quieter than him, and don't talk as much in interviews and are a lot more introverted around people than he is. so if you guys are doing an interview, you are usually just adding things into conversation. but bill doesn't mind at all and he loves that you're so good at listening while he rants about random shit.

• there are tons of pictures taken by paparazzi of you just standing there holding onto bill by his jacket while he smothers your face in kisses, and in each picture you're slowly smiling more

• he loves hearing you rant about music you like. you don't go on rants like this a lot so when he hears you talking like this he knows it's something extremely important to you and will listen to you talk for hours. my personal favorite is Siouxsie and the Banshees (4 any baby goths, yall should to them)

• he's pretty experienced with makeup, especially dark makeup and he loves doing it. it's so much fun for him and for you.

• he loves seeing your new tattoos, if you get/have a lot of those and he's always excited to see what new design you got. same goes for piercings, he has a lot of piercings himself, so I think he'd like a s/o with piercings too. I think he likes people with tons of ear piercings ngl. like double studs, industrial, helix, etcetera etcetera.

• even though you're not the most affectionate person, it doesn't matter to him. he will sit on top of you for hours just kissing your face and tickling you just to hear you laugh. and wraps his arms around you all the time. he's totally fine with being the one who initiates affectionate things

• he literally loves your alternative style so much, because he loves people who aren't afraid to stand out in a crowd. he thinks it's boring to be normal and he thinks you're one of the coolest people ever for just being yourself and not letting anybody tell you otherwise.

• loves going to concerts with you just to hear you scream to your favorite songs

• he loves going to gothic clubs with you because he finds all the different dances so fucking cool. and he asks you to teach him out to do dances so he, ironically, can fit in with everybody else.

• whenever bill brings you to a function or something, there's always interviewers asking "how you two are dating" when you seem so different even when in reality you guys are a lot alike in tons of ways. he just rolls his eyes and answers something like "we both actually caught this crazy disease called we like eachother, crazy right?!"

• he fell in love with you the moment he saw you. the first time he saw you was at a club, you were dancing out on the floor in a tight black dress, your hair looked absolutely amazing; think amy lee on the Fallen album, and you had a red solo cup in your hand and you looked like the most beautiful woman on the planet. there were tons of women all around you but bill could only see you.

• he loves it when little kids come up to you and compliment you because no matter how much you deny it, it always makes you smile

a/n: i am obsessed with modern bill and I'm much more of a 🖤✨️🎸🐈‍⬛️ kind of girl myself sooo 😈 I also added a little bit to this, personality-wise as well

taglist: @hearts4kaulitz @burntb4bydoll @spelaelamela @bored0writer @fishinaband @billsleftnutt @tokiiohot @bluepoptartwithsprinkles @saumspam @5hyslv7 @killed-kiss @memog1rl @80s-tingz @billybabeskaulitz