#it was on my list but i don't really have a list u know...
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
A. dumah
B. I don't remember my wings that well, but definitely closer to a lighter shade. Perhaps bronze or sandy brown
C. I was a lower ranking angel, tasked with observing humanity. Not intervening
D. See above
E. I didn't fall, I reincarnated to earth as a human being and I still consider my species to be an angel
F. I remember being in a beautiful garden at some point. My mind felt light and airy, and I "felt" things around me with spatial awareness instead of objectively viewing it. If you asked me to describe a single plant or creature in this garden I wouldn't be able to.
G. I resonate with the element fire because I was born in December. My dad was sick with cancer when I was born, and they told him he might not live. After I was born, he got better. I always attach this to the transformative power of fire, and my angelic abilities are still attached to me in utero.
H. I'm a biblical angel, so I guess more likely the Christian god. I don't remember him though, just a faint memory of Him being present.
I. I feel I became confined to earth after observing humans for so long. I think at some point I wanted to be involved more than I was, so I decided to join.
K. The advantage of being an angel on earth really depends on your definition of an advantage. My definition is having more freedom, being able to touch, see and experience the world like a proper mammal rather than like a divine being. You miss out on a lot when you lack the 5 senses.
L. A disadvantage. There are many. When you're an angel, you don't get tired, you don't need to go to the bathroom, you don't need to eat. Suddenly all these things that make you human become an exhausting task that you have to be involved in, all the time. There are more, but I want to keep this short.
M. I was around during the holy war. The crusade before crusades. I remember a few angels starting to feel less angelic over time, and it was like a ripple effect amongst the loyal. Suddenly, the side I was on with my brother Michael felt less and less like the winning side, and more like the side you pick when there's no better option. I desired the same freedoms as the other side but I suppose I was too cowardly to take it.
N. No one around me knows my identity. I feel like it's unnecessary to tell anyone. I can never go back to what I was. The best thing I can do is live my life as heavenly as I can in my current life.
O. Funnily enough, I started suspecting i was something more at a very young age. I didn't know quite what. I remember having mental shifts in the church growing up, and having visions about winged creatures when I was around 10. I discovered angels outside of the Bible and for the first time I felt like these things were the best thing I could use to describe myself.
P. Lol. I was hoping this question would come up. O fortuna is at the top of my list. It always gives me chills. Any songs in Latin or slavic-based languages always makes me go into mental shifts.
Q. To feel angelic, I watch movies with angels in them, read books with angels in them, exercise and ride my bike to just feel the wind against my face. I go to the park with a long black coat on and listen to music, and just watch people. Sometimes I talk to them, but not often because I can be quite introverted.
R. See above. I also veil on occasion, especially when I'm around religious buildings or graveyards or when meditating. (I do not pray to the Christian god)
S. I'm not repelled by religious buildings. I'm also not attracted to them. But when I step inside a place that has been cleansed, anointed or used for worship, I can get mental shifts and my vibration raises to the point that I believe that religious figures and children can feel.
T. Good question. Unfortunately I don't know what my halo looked like. I'm assuming it was closer to light than a physical object, maybe light that my divinity gave off. Like a rainbow spectrum or pure white. 🤷♀️ no clue.
U. If I did, I don't remember.
V. Not prophetic dreams, but I've had vivid dreams and nightmares about snakes, naked human beings, violence, starvation and fire. I have had many dreams of what I believe to be pre-flood events on earth, where animosity & disbelief became more rampant between Him and humans.
W. Nope
X. Anywhere that has a beautiful garden. I also like fountains, aquariums, the forest and jungle
Y. Nope
X. I remember being in Europe at some point. I don't know exactly where, I just remember hearing some francophone language being spoken, and there was a lot of political unrest. Unfortunately, the details were never that important to anyone, and as I've mentioned before, I didn't see things the same way as an angel as I do now. My best guess would be middle ages or less. They seemed to be very complicated with the Catholic church back then.
I hope you enjoyed my answers as much as i enjoyed answering them
Angelic Ask Meme
I’ve been meaning to make one of these for a while…send some to my ask, and feel free to reblog!
A-what is your angelic name? B-what did your wings look like? C-what are you an angel of? D-what order or rank of angel are you? E-did you fall? If so, why? F-describe a random angelic memory G-what element/s do you align with? H-do you remember or follow any gods? I-do you know or suspect why you are earthbound? J-what other angels were you close to? K-an advantage to being an angel on earth? L-a disadvantage to being an angel on earth? M-were you around during the war? If so, what side were you on? N-does anyone irl know you’re an angel? O-how long have you known you’re Angelic? P-what is a song that reminds you of being angelic, or of an angelic memory? Q-what is something you do to feel angelic? R-have anything you wear that makes you feel like your angelic self? S-are you attracted to places of worship, or repelled by them? T-what did your halo look like? U-any angels you had a rivalry with? V-ever have any prophetic dreams, or things like that? W-are you an empath/psychic/medium/etc? X-any places on earth that remind you of home? Y-ever had irl contact with other divines in this life? Z-have any past earthbound life memories?
#angelkin#otherkin#fallen angelkin#alterhuman#angels#divinekin#uttering hymns#lgbtqia#tumblr milestone#demonkin#fallen angel
1K notes
·
View notes
Note
i am on my hands and knees begging u to write more stalker!anakin with perhaps a bit of perv!anakin sprinkled in 🙇♀️🙏🏽
also wanna take the time to say i looovee ur work
PAIRING: modern!stalker!anakin x f!reader
Author's note: didn't know if you mean stalker!nerd!ani or just basic ani (but if you meant nerdy geek, don't worry, stuff is coming) OKAY NOT ME FORGETTING ABOUT MY SERIES OF STALKER!MAFIA!ANAKIN...
ANAKIN SKYWALKER watched you through the crack in the curtains, hand dragging slowly down the wall as if he could feel you through it. You’re sprawled on your couch, legs spread, completely unaware that there's a pair of eyes that devour you, making sure every detail is seared into his memory. The soft curve of your legs, the way your shirt rides up just a little too high, exposing a teasing glimpse of your stomach—it all has him dizzy with need.
"Perfect," he mutters under his breath, other hand twitching at his side.
It wasn’t supposed to get this far, wasn’t supposed to become a nightly routine, but how could he stop? You’ve got him hooked, like a drug he’d never want to quit. He knows the routine of your evenings now: the way you kick off your shoes by the door, toss your bag onto the counter, and wander into the kitchen, humming some off-key melody that somehow drives him insane.
Tonight was no different. He adjusts his position outside, leaning against the railing as you shuffle into the kitchen. You’re making tea, your favorite one. His tongue flicks out to wet his lips as he imagines stepping behind you, just making you feel loved, worshipped, cherished.
Your head tilts, brow furrowing slightly as your eyes scan the darkness. He steps back, hiding in the from the spot that could make you notice him, yet even from that position he caught unease in your gaze. It send a thrill through him, a delicious wave of knowing he’s gotten under your skin without even touching you.
His hand creeps down to his waistband, breath shaky as fingers brush over himself through the fabric. “Fuck,” he hisses quietly, watching as you lift the steaming mug to your lips. It’s maddening, the way you sip so innocently, as if you’re not tempting him beyond reason already.
Eyes shut for a moment, other hand curled into a fist, his forehead resting against it before his hand sped up, stroking himself to the most beautiful image playing before his eyes.
But then you do something he wouldn't ever expect. You pause mid-sip, glancing towards the window. For a moment, he freezes, pulse stopping in his throat.
Did you see him?
“Oh, sweetheart,” he whispers to himself, grin spreading over his lips “You’re starting to notice me, aren’t you?”
The thought of you lying awake tonight, glancing at every corner, your heart pacing with fear and all the imagines of what could happen--it’s almost too much to bear. He palms himself harder, biting back a groan as his fantasies take over. He imagines you on that couch, moaning his name, nails digging into his shoulders, and your sweet voice trembling as you plead for something you don’t even fully understand.
Would you fight him at first? Try to push him away when he finally stepped out of the dark and claimed what’s rightly his? Or would you give in, submitting to his devotion, finally realizing you were meant to be his all along?
A soft noise pulls him from his thoughts, and his gaze snaps back to you. You’ve moved to the living room now, curling up on the couch with a blanket draped over your legs. Doing nothing but scrolling through your phone, completely unaware of what's really happening.
Anakin lets out a shuddering breath, his pupils blown wide with hunger. He can’t stay out here much longer. The craving to touch, to feel, is clawing at him, burning in his veins like fire.
Soon - he promised himself - Soon you’ll know.
And when you do? You’ll never have to be alone again, he'll make sure of that
TAG LIST: @kingdomhate @divineani @haydensprettyprincess @skyguys-princess @catnipaddictt @heartscone @haydensbbg @inneedsoffanfics @jediavengers @literally-izzy @anisluvrgirl @slutforfinnickodair @xhunnybeeex @fuckmyskywalker @gallerygourmet @deceptiive @anakinskwkler @bimbo-baggins17 @cookybananas @emotionallybruisedx @diorvalentina @sevinax @throughparisallthroughrome @aniiuv @ritosparty @ninastyless @lily-strnlo @thesassypadawan @awhhayden @sydkneez @anisangeldust @l1ttle-misssunsh1ne
#bunny's replies ૮꒰ ྀི >⸝⸝⸝< ྀི꒱ა#hayden christensen#anakin skywalker#anakin#star wars#anakin skywalker fanfiction#:haydennation#anakin skywalker x reader#anakin x fem reader#anakin skywalker imagine#anakin skywalker fanfic#anakin skywalker smut#anakin skywalker fic#anakin skywalker x you#hayden christensen x you#hayden christensen x reader#hayden christensen x female reader#hayden christensen fic#hayden christensen fanfiction
53 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Fall dir. Tarsem Singh
#incredible film#not only for the visuals but the softness#i did not see that coming#alexandria is the CUTEST i was dying last night when i watched it#shoutout to that gaga fan who recommended me to watch it bc of an edit i made#it was on my list but i don't really have a list u know...#i will be posting more edits bc i made many of this film. i have a different one as my phone's bg#tarsem singh#the fall#alexandria the fall#catinca untaru#roy walker#rude surname...#lee pace
87 notes
·
View notes
Text
some sketches
based on @theicarusconstellation's writing
I keep thinking of details I left out and stuff I need to fix but if I let myself do that I'm going to go insane so we're leaving it at this
Also some Sirius because they're a fucking king and we love them (I very strongly hc them as genderqueer and using any pronouns, but specifically he/they/she/it)
The dress was a bit of a failure but hey it looks like fabric at least I think maybe
#fanart#marauders era#fanart of fanfiction#Sirius#A form of jegulus#Not sure if reg being an animagus is widely accepted Canon but I fucking accept it it's mine now and i will die on this hill#I DO however know that Sirius is generally accepted to have tattoos but unfortunately I'm shit at coming up with tat designs#I don't think there's a generally accepted list of what tattoos they have but if there is I would love to hear it#If not ig I'll just make something up#She probably has like. At least one wolf and dog one somewhere#Then definitely canis major#Idk how sappy they are but I want them to be one of those people who gets their friend group to draw hearts or stars and gets those tattooe#Also skeleton designs v much. I want them to have a cat skeleton on their hip in that curling position#Like the floaty cat#Maybe with a moon or star in the center#No real reason I just think he'd look fuckin awesome with it#He also probably has a really cool stylized semicolon on his wrist#I can't give him a koi/sun one cause that's mine and it doesn't fit then anyways#But definitely the top piece is the full moon symbolizing Remus#The bottom idk about but like maybe a squished up dog? Not like disproportionate I'm sure I could figure something out#Honestly they probably also have tats for each of their friends#I'm thinking a stylized deer under a full moon with the rat on it's head#or just prongs and moony w/ little bro between them#Brainstorming idk#If u read all that congrats I don't know why or what you got from it#Welcome to the live stream of my consciousness (you're missing not strong enough fucking BLARING in the background of all my thoughts)
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sorry for being late today coming online, a lot has happened and I am trying to think about the best way to organize this blog going forward. For now though I will try to get the list updated quickly and read through my messages/@'s
#meg talks#mainly thinking about how best to spotlight people's fundraisers because so many are gaining and losing traction periodically#and some of my posts seem to get more reach than others#mostly what troubles me is i think that the more campaigns i boost the less effective it is for each campaign#i think that the small batches of donation matching campaigns that i organized with other people was the most effective thing so far#bc it guaranteed at least one donation to each campaign#i think i'm going to try to make other small batch posts too each day#like ''here are some campaigns that are close to their goal/low on funds/almost to the halfway mark or some other milestone/etc''#but idk. i just feel troubled and i think some people who have reached out to me think i have more reach than i actually do#i have less than 3k followers and a lot of them are inactive blogs from over the past ten years#ofc that still isn't nothing and im going to keep doing what im doing but im afraid people might be reaching out to me#thinking that i'll be able to give their campaigns more visibility than i actually can#im grateful that my master list has gotten some traction but the longer it gets the tougher it is to single ppl out#i don't know. if people have suggestions please let me know#for now i would really really appreciate volunteers to help w the donation matching campaigns#if i can have ppl committing to donating like 5 bucks to a handful of campaigns once or twice a month#then at least that's something that IS guaranteed u know... though i feel ashamed that i quit my job#and can't guarantee much myself until i find a new one#idk im just troubled and i'm not going to stop boosting campaigns but i hate the thought of getting ppl's hopes up and not delivering
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
thank you for bearing with my purgatory posting and i'm also glad to see i'm not the only one who still has this fungus eating away at my brain matter. seeing other purgatory posting in the tag makes me feel better lmfao.
i'm not done btw, posting will (probably) continue as i revisit vods. wanted to extend a thanks in the interim, since i know how contentious the event was in the moment. i kinda thought the general consensus was most people hated thinking about it, but there's been a weird amount of engagement and yknow other people talking. makes me happy to know i'm not alone here!
#qsmp#qsmp purgatory#shut up vic#block game brainrot#it also provides me the opportunity to get a new perspective on some moments as well#like watching the jaiden spawnkilling thing the first time i missed some nuance in bbh's tone when he offered to walk her to her body#rewatching i heard them :D#i'll probably rewatch his conversation with slime from the same day at some point to refresh my perspective on that#but i think i'll wait on that; that convo makes me super biased lmfao#i'm aware of my biases at least :D and dw i won't bring old discourse back#tbh i never rly posted discourse much to begin with? just that one list and analysis of time stamps LMFAO#but yea i won't be bringing that back to the tag even if it's back in my brain#i PINKY SWEAR; i'm not one to start fights on posts or blogs that aren't mine#i block and then if i REALLY have something to say i shittalk them into my bathroom mirror#bc i know neither of us are gonna snitch >:D#long tags#it's also nice to look at with the benefit of hindsight and reflection#bc i know everything that happened; i was there watching it live#bolas are unreliable narrators#i'll probably see about going through some of the other team's povs as well just to see#it's interesting is all! and i finally have the time to sink my teeth into it properly#since we aren't having to keep up with like six streams a day#it's been so long sinve this server took a proper breather i'm appreciating it for all it's worth#((yes i wish the circumstances were better but they aren't; we take what we can get lmao))#ok anyway love u byeeeeeeee purgatory posting will probably continue#i'll tag as appropriately as i can; lmk if there are further tags i should add#i prefer people don't block Me if they hate these; i'll make u a tag to block if u ask i promise <3
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Summer camps and similar very intense for 2 weeks and then suddenly finished activities are so tragic because you'll form one of the deepest connections of your life and then you never see those people again
#like sometimes you get lucky and manage to keep in touch with a few of those people#sometimes you get VERY lucky especially when its something you do every year and you manage to keep most of the group#but generally its just you spend a week or two 100% of the time with the same people#you feel like its impossible you just met them a week ago#you promise you will keep in touch!! we have to keep meeting#and you do a couple times you manage to get 4-5 people together#but it will never be the same theres so many people missing#then slowly this stops#the groupchat hasnt been active for a while so i ended up not doing anything for my birthday.#well now its exam season so we will do something after that! sure!! ........silence#seeing groupchats where the last thing we talked about was this theoretical meeting is heartbreaking#and slowly the groupchat goes lower and lower on the list and you dont want to be weird and say smth#and slowly when you no longer see it because its so far down you stop thinking about it so often#and then those friends who meant the world to you for a couple weeks are just a distant memory#you dont think about them that much sometimes someone will go on one and you'll be like oh i used to love those!!#and you'll think about your friends who you don't even know if youll recognise if you met them in the street#and think we should really meet again and dont even pretend like you're going to text them#because no one has said anything in that groupchat for years and you dont even know if some of them have forgotten you#sorry im just getting emotional lol#anyways candela see u tomorrooow this wont happen to at least uus💛💛💛💛💛💛#mine
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
i might not finish it but here is the boy again!!
#my art#oc art#oc#digital art#artists on tumblr#my oc art#rkgk#doodle#chibi art#chibi#ah. him and his silly evil poses.#i tried coloring it you know and it looked really bad so idk if i'll finish it...atleast ill try again once tmrw but IDK#and ahh hhhh i want to draw fanart again cause my other acc is SOOOO dead rn....that is next on my list to do...!! maybe arknights fanart??#i don't know!!! i don't know what i was doing from jan-march how was i drawing sm fanart!!!!!! where did that motivation and drive come fro#i want it back wtf!!!!!! anyways.#if you read all of this have a wonderful day. im wishing peace and happiness and such for u
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
— OCS RED FLAGS.
i was tagged by @denerims and @risingsh0t to take this quiz for my ocs, thank you both sooo much!!
i'm tagging @arklay @nuclearstorms @morvaris @uldwynsovs @devilbrakers @faarkas @girlbosselrond @indorilnerevarine @shadowglens @jacobseed @lightwardens and whoever wants to do this <3
VIOLENT
when something makes you upset, it could even be the tiniest most petty reason ever, you yell, rage, and possibly throw stuff in anger. your actions think quicker than your mind, and it could probably not even be intentional but the next thing you'll realize is that you've hurt someone
MANIPULATIVE
you're probably a passive aggressive person. you frequently lie, and gaslight to get your way. you never want to be held responsible for your actions so you avoid situations by either victimizing yourself, belittling others concerns, hiding the truth, and using threats to harm yourself or others
FAKE
you are a toxic human being. you belittle others, and are overly competitive. you probably envy those who have it better than you so you try to manipulate the person into feeling worthless so that you can feel superior. you are never there for your friends in time of need but you expect them to always be at your service
#tag games#in my scared to tag ppl era once again. might be bc i'm tired ksjfkf so really if i didnt tag u this time go ahead and say i did!!#anyways. (twirling my hair) oh so u all have red flags? tell me more#this quiz was so funny for dragging them all into the dirt i actually took it for many others but the amount of 'fake' i got was embarassin#to be fair i picked my worst piece of shit ocs which explains the fake results kfjsnfk for example both akira & eva got it. akira would#be like mh and what about it? also took it for fenix and he got manipulative well!! he's a blonde man what can u expect#anyways vesper getting violent well we knew. girl has problems dealing with her rage. moira is a bit of a surprise and i don't see her as#manipulative in her daily life u know. with ppl she cares and so on. it's fuckin mojave. she's going to manipulate gaslight girlboss her#way around it and all the crazy bitches that live in there. vio's is just funny tho. reading the result was like (nodding & ticking off a#list) fair...fr. fair again. she's a lost cause. but my lost cause i love so dearly....#oc: vesper#oc: moira#oc: violante
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
I feel like there are roughly two kinds of "painfully weird kid" that you can be during your K-12 school years. the first is your "I am trying so hard to be normal but I just cannot seem to hit the mark. there's just something wrong with me and I don't know how to fix it" and the second is the category I was in, which is your "everyone around me is so incredibly weird but they obviously can't help it so I will just have to accept this."
#being a deeply weird kid in school was definitely an experience#i feel like it's also heightened when you attend a private catholic school#there are just so many more layers of 'oh wow so this is...a thing' to deal with#like i honestly think the shit that private catholic schools do to a kid's head is worse for the normal kids#i was already at a point where i just accepted that my personal perspective of the world was radically different#and you really weren't going to convince me to start loving denim or perfume or makeup#so trying to get me to feel a bunch of religious guilt was also not going to work#i just added it to the long list of things that are important to most ppl that i just don't give a shit about and moved on#honestly being autistic in a private catholic school put me in a much better spot than a normal catholic student#the teachers would say something absolutely batshit insane#like telling us that 'mentally disabled' kids get a free pass to heaven because they have no original sin just like animals#(if u know ur catholic shit u can imagine the multiple layers of 'but wait!' involved in this statement but anyway)#and your normal catholic student would be like 'what?! for real! oh my gosh...but are you sure? oh you are. well...i guess it's true then..#whereas i would be sitting there like 'wow that is...a wild thing to believe. also u were staring at me for that whole speech so...'#like yeah i did get involved in the heated debates because it was hella fun#but in hindsight it would be really fucked up to be an actual catholic kid in that school because jesus christ...#a lot of our teachers even had strong disagreements over belief shit and would make us all take sides#so it wasn't even like unanimous weird stuff pumped at us. it was like conflicting weird stuff#one intense divide i recall was the simple but highly controversial 'do animals go to heaven?' debate#most said 'yes' with or without conditions#one teacher said 'yes and also disabled kids' which was fucked up and definitely directed at me whenever i was in the room#like some kind of fucked up 'it's okay because you'll get a better life in the afterlife sweetie' kind of thing#while others were like 'ANIMALS? in my heaven? I think not! what did they even do to earn it?! nothing!'#students tended to also be very invested and distressed by the thought of no family pets in heaven#but also very conflicted based on the facts being presented by both sides and also which teacher was their favorite so...
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
anyway it is wild that in total i'm dealing with roughly 510 CVVC samples for this library, which doesn't sound like that much at all considering one pitch of VCV is typically 300 to 400 samples and we're talking about 6 pitches of CVVC here
but because of my dumb redundancy measures when recording, each of those samples equals out to roughly 24 CV samples and 14 VC samples, meaning by the time i'm done, the finished .oto will have probably around 19,400 entries which is hoo
i've finished with about 3,000 of those entries
#there's a reason i've since switched over to a 7 mora + 5 mora recording set skdfjhglkjdsf#the new list DOES have some redundancy but it's only for samples i know tend to be hit or miss for me (i u and o)#and the 5 mora string is meant to ensure you don't have to record the n sets later#and you won't lose the tempo by just recording n_ka or whatever#(also so you won't have to sacrifice your starting note or tone by recording n first)#really wishing i'd just settled for 2 mora on this library but alas#i am in a hell of my own making w
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just when you think we're done with fic links, you remember that I'm nearly two days late in publishing the first few pieces of my own homemade fictober prompt list!
That said, here's Day One, for the prompt 'name.' Some light stizzy, with implied ftm Izzy (am I working through feelings via fic about how long it took me to finally find all the names I actually want to use for myself and how one of them is in fact. fucking. I can't even type it out but if you've checked my description in recent days you've probably noticed the change and Understand my faffing about here ANYWAY SORRY LINK INCOMING)
#text post#im not gonna make a fictober tag for these bc like. it's my own list im the only one doing it lmaooooo#plus I usually post fic late enough that I think anyone it might irritate to see more than one link post in a row won't be awake & scrollin#also i just don't want to have to try and remember one quite frankly tho that said if someone really does want a tag to blacklist these#I genuinely would have no problem making one up and remembering it for u so u can blacklist lol just lemme know#I need to finish the last few lines of today's prompt fill and then should try and start tomorrow's bc tomorrow is uh.#less than an hour away as I type lmao
1 note
·
View note
Text
#hehe I really do wanna go through all their songs and lyrically pick out the ones that talk abt happiness but I was like damn that's a lot#Of songs and i don't wanna miss one so I decided to do this tierlist to kinda have that list in front of me LOL#I only put songs here that I felt like I listened to enough to rank so it's not their whole discography#(Like i need more time for sungjins album to marinate before making actual decisions abt it)#also to be continued by denimalz wasn't on this tierlist and thats genuinely like skdjdj a+/s tier song for me its so fucking gooood#it was hard chz I like diff songs for diff reasons some r more strong lyrically others musically some r so good at both it's so hard#kept changing my mind lol and feel like it could change depending on my mood#letting go reboot F tier only cuz I feel very 'looking at how they massacred my child' abt it#letting go is like the first d6 song I liked even b4 I stanned them and to this day I feel like it does so much so well I nvr understood wh#the reboot version 😭😭 i do like the new bridge but I also really really like youngks rap bridge 😔😔#just felt like all the correct musical decisions were taken out in the reboot ahh like there was so much like#song starts bare ish but then u start layering instruments it helps build it up to the climax so well but they take all of that out w the#reboot 😭😭#anyhows. now that i have a list i will do what I intended to do and compile the songs that talk abt happiness in some way or another#certain songs also surprised me for how high I put em like what is.. for instance#also ONE ?? I didn't know i felt S tier abt it lol but I guess I do.#rambles
1 note
·
View note
Text
They literally just had a conversation about ice cube trays and whether or not they were clean (they decided they were not i think?) and did NOT ask me anything. Do i not exist to you people
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#the ice cube trays were clean btw just the water wasn't good at the time#which is why they were empty#this and also some things in the freezer that need moved and NOBODY has asked me to move them and i literally could#like#augh. god. i exist!!! i live here! i know things!!! i'm awake!!!!!!#i'm not SUPER annoyed by it but i Could Be if i think about it too much#which i mean. i probably will.#anyways this has annoyed me into deciding *i* will deal with the freezer stuff when i wake up if nobody else has by that point#just ... a constant list of things that's just gonna keep getting longer.#cause i don't want to ... ugh words tonight#i don't want to add the stress of because like. listen.#i get angry a LOT and it's not really warranted most of the time. i do not want to subject people to that.#and also just ... everythiiiing everything about the way i hear him act has been bugging me this week and its only MOSTLY because it's#almost (or is by now?) shark week and i always get pissed at everything right before then.#the other part is that he reminds me of the father unit who ALREADY bugs me just. in general so. yippee i guess.#its like 'hey u should communicate if u have a problem :)' and then i go 'ok i will :)' LYING because i do NOT want to make this situation#exponentially worse. cause thats how it would go. i dont need to feel even LESS wanted in my own home lol
1 note
·
View note
Text
-
#so. been going on facebook marketplace adventures as of late right#and y'know. u see cool motorcycles and odd funny listings#but i saw a cheap (for the area) listing 4 an apartment like. studio#and then i got like. Hit. with a Wave shdkfhgkg.#i'm a bit afraid to say i felt sad because it feels a little silly and yada yada yeah i know whatever i'm gonna make what i want Happen but#i think for now i'm allowed to just feel sad that i don't have anyone around to be excited about that with. does that make sense?#like i thought of living with a friend. or friends. just people i love. and i'd like that so bad and it just made me really sad that i can't#really. know exactly when that might happen.#like. i used to plan excessively just so that me and people not in my life anymore who i loved dearly might have a shot at leaving our#Situations at home. and it gave me something to live for at one point. holding out for that y'know. that one day i might be happy bc i'd#be surrounded with the people i loved#make a Home. idk. it's been weighing on me for a while but just went unnamed for so long. i needa sit with it for a minute#sap says
0 notes
Note
Have you been tested for h. Pylori? My sister was having stomach issues for MONTHS before anyone thought to give her triple therapy for it -- the only reason I'm mentioning it is bc it's a relatively easy treatment which might give you a solution earlier than trying to get an appointment with a nutritionist
I haven't been tested for it, no. However, my symptoms tend to be located south of the stomach and don't seem to mesh much with an H. pylori infection. In addition, my GI seems to be on top of things, given that all the tests she ordered except one came back with abnormal results, and she hasn't mentioned H. pylori as a concern.
My issues do seem to be at least partially diet-related. Despite my odd reaction to the low-fructose diet, I do have fructose malabsorption. I also have gluten intolerance and an occasional sensitivity to high-fat meals. I wouldn't be surprised if there's something else sneakily hidden, and even if there isn't, it's enough to merit meeting with someone who can help me make sure I get all my nutrients. Whether my insurance approves it or not (fingers crossed they do - I'm making the call tomorrow), I'll be seeing a nutritionist. As for the wait, well, I've had to push medical things back a lot lately due to illness and a course of antibiotics that would have influenced a particular test. So I'm fine with a wait as long as I know there's an end point somewhere.
That being said, I believe my father may have had H. pylori in the past; I know he's had issues with ulcers at least. So I think when I next meet with my GI, I'll mention my dad's issues, because I don't remember if I told her about it during my first appointment with her.
#Anon thank u v much for your concern and suggestion#I really do appreciate it! I just don't think it applies to my situation#(btw for those who don't know H. pylori is Helicobacter pylori#a bacterium that can cause stomach infections and ulcers)#also even tho I haven't really gotten the wheels moving with the nutritionist I'm still getting some good data with my food diary#for example as of today coconut is officially on my shit list#coconut oil or fat is fine but anything coconut that has the sugars in it is Very Much Not#and while I'm sincerely bummed about it I am a bit thrilled to have made a discovery of a specific food that triggers the Bad Feelings#oh and everyone pls send good and powerful vibes to help convince my insurance to cover the nutritionist#like I said I'm going whether they agree or not#but it would be WONDERFUL if they covered it.#so we are all MANIFESTING it!#ask#Anonymous#speechie sucks at health
1 note
·
View note