#it was my freshman year of college and for some reason i hadn't had a real fruit or vegetable in DAYS

[yardsards]

i have no room to insult people's food preferences because i HAVE drank condiments for enjoyment on multiple occasions

[taesanrot]

[from the start] taesan x f!reader | 4.0k words college au, classmates to lovers, making out, alc consumption ++ terrible drunk decisions lmao, angst kinda, misunderstanding, mutual pining, fear of physical touch at first, everyone is just a little confused note. sorry this took literally so long to finish, i kept changing my mind on how i wanted it to go. fun fact the original idea for this fic was based on my real life situationship. hope u guys enjoy <3

you shouldn't be here. you should be sleeping off the alcohol flowing through you in your own bed, at your place. you shouldn't be here, pressed against taesan's chest, your mouth molded against his.

up until a few hours ago, han taesan was nothing but a fleeting memory. just someone your friends brought up once in a while to watch the way your cheeks flared up in embarrassment. he was part of the past, an unfortunate moment during your freshman year in university. your friends didn't know about the guilt that ate away at you every time the boy's name crossed your mind.

the two of you had met in english, deskmates who bonded over the frustrations that came with your shitty professor and endless essays. complaining about class turned into hushed whispers while the professor wasn't looking, adding each other on socials and snapping silly pictures back and forth, walking back to the dorms together. because... why not? taesan was cute and you couldn't help but chase the feeling that came with every interaction you two shared.

you never thought it would turn into anything, until your friends pointed out the obvious: he liked you. taesan liked you. the way your hair flowed so prettily, the way you smiled at all of his stupid pictures and the way your eyebrows furrowed at the professors nasally voice.

the two of you had an undeniable connection, and it ended with the two of you sitting on his bed watching a movie together on his roommate, sungho's, tv.

flirty glances and brushing hands turned into his hands running up your arms, breath hot on your neck as you tangled your fingers in his dark hair. having him like this should've felt like heaven, but instead your chest tightened and your body tensed, to the point where taesan pulled away from you, looking into your eyes and softly asking if this was okay, if you were okay.

you should've told him the truth, you were just scared. you hadn't done this before, not with someone who you felt so deeply for. you just wanted to slow down a bit. but instead you faked a smile and just said that you remembered something your friend had asked you to do, ignoring the stab in your chest as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. you pulled away uncomfortably quick and left without another word. that was months ago.

the last you'd heard from him was hours after you left; he'd apologized profusely, saying he'd misread things and you tried and tried to reassure him that he did nothing wrong. you wished he could read your mind so you didn't have to face the fact that you were a coward and you'd hurt him in the process.

taesan thought that night would be the last time he'd see you. he could tell something was wrong, and he'd figured that you'd never want to see him again. but for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to blame you, hate you, nothing.

...

"seriously? you're not mad.... at all?" sungho sat up in his bed, staring at his roommate in disbelief. "dude, she literally led you on and ghosted you." jaehyun chimed in, shaking his head at the younger boy. taesan shrugged and went back to tuning his guitar, covering up the sounds of his friends' scoffs with the vibrations of the strings he plucked. they thought he was hopeless, and secretly, he agreed.

...

after months of radio silence, it was safe to say that taesan was not expecting his phone to ping with a message from you.

you tried to move on from things with the music major, joking away your pain with your friends and going on dates with other guys. it worked for a few months, but eventually thoughts of han taesan caught up to you. they plagued your mind for days on end.

late at night, lying in your bed and staring at the ceiling, you wondered how things could've been different if you'd just told taesan the truth. you thought it was easier to just run away and pretend nothing happened between the two of you, that you'd be at peace if you just went back to before you knew he liked you, before you knew you liked him too. in the end, it just left you feeling empty.

you hadn’t ever met anyone like him, something you hadn’t ever admitted out loud. you couldn't go back to the way things were before, he'd left an imprint on your mind like no one else.

the thoughts you tried to smother finally came up to surface on a breezy saturday night as you were celebrating your friend, yunjin's, 21st birthday party at her apartment. after more than a few shots and the truly you split with yeri, you felt like you were on another planet. you stumbled over to the living room, falling onto the couch and leaning your head back and closing your eyes.

after a few minutes of sitting with your intoxicated state, you lazily unlocked your phone, scrolling through your instagram timeline, attention focusing in and out. that was until you came across a certain set of pictures. you squinted, reading the caption.

tae23san take my tears @psungho @myungj4e

pictured was none other than taesan, sitting on top of a car with his head tilted back to look at the sky.

sitting up slightly, you carefully scrolled through the dump of photos taesan had posted: him posing in the booth of a recording studio, he, sungho, and jaehyun in a photobooth, a candid of him playing the guitar, a mirror selfie with sungho, and a solo shot of him.

the last picture almost took your breath away; he posed with a hand ruffling his own hair as he pouted his lips.

all at once, you felt every emotion you fought so hard to drown explode in your heart. you missed him. so much. your head spun with sadness, guilt, and longing. you wanted to- no, you needed to see him.

it wasn't long before the thoughts popped in your head.

why don't i just text him?

whats the worst that could happen?

it was bad idea, a terrible idea truly. but you couldn't help yourself, you opened your contacts and found your chat with him faster than you could blink. you fumbled with the screen, trying to type out a cohesive message to the boy you so desperately wanted to see.

[1:53 a.m.]

y/n: taesnjsnnnnn

y/n: i miss you

y/n: i'm soryry

y/n: can i swee yuo? please

...

taesan was hoping to have a peaceful smoke with his friends. he, sungho, and jaehyun had spent the day working on a project for their advanced music production class, and were now sitting on the couch passing a blunt around, some rnb songs floating softly through the air.

taesan breathed in slowly, sucking in the laced smoke and exhaling it softly, humming at the warm feeling in his limbs. he felt his phone buzz in his pocket, laughing at the feeling of the vibrations against his thigh.

"this is done for." jaehyun mumbled before flicking off the ash and placing the end on the side table. taesan watched him with hooded eyes as he stood up to stretch out his limbs, making sungho and taesan giggle.

"i'm going to my room." sungho stood as well, murmuring a similar quip before meandering over to his door. "don't forget to turn off the lights, san."

taesan groaned in acknowledgement, letting his head fall back onto the couch. not really wanting to sleep, he wondered if he should watch a movie or make some food.

the boy sighed in boredom, pulling his phone out of his pocket languidly and swiping through his notifications.

his already blown out pupils grew even bigger at the sight of your name in his notifications. he'd never gotten around to deleting your number -- he figured there was no point.

his eyes focused on the words next to your name. 4 unopened messages. he rubbed his eyes slowly.

was he really that high right now? or did you really message him. taesan's gaze jumped over to the timestamp.

10 minutes ago.

he hurriedly clicked the notification, tapping his thigh with his fingers as the screen expanded to display your texts. you were clearly a bit out of it, taesan smiled at your typos. his vision seemed to laser focus on the one text you didn't misspell.

i miss you.

taesan couldn't say he didn't feel the same way. despite sungho and jaehyun's relentless nags, he thought about you more often than he'd like to admit.

somehow, he knew something was up the fateful night the two of you had hung out. that wasn't you, he just knew it. or so he told himself. he didn't want to be mad at you, he didn't want to hate you. he had hoped for this day so many times. the day you'd tell him you didn't mean it.

taesan's fingers moved across the screen slowly.

[2:08 a.m.]

han taesan: hey

han taesan: where are you?

...

from the moment you hit send, you had suddenly been more alert, thoughts racing a million miles a minute.

what do i do if he responds? is he even awake? he just posted, he has to be. god, i hope this works.

you'd taken the leap, there wasn't any going back.

you begrudgingly lifted yourself from the couch you were sitting on, looking for your friends so you could take your mind off of the messages you'd just sent.

walking over to the fridge, you grabbed a water bottle to help you sober up a bit.

eunchae and chaewon did a great job at keeping you from checking your phone every thirty seconds. you laughed at their horrific job at playing pictionary against two guys yunjin knew, anton and sohee.

your two friends were losing bad, and you smiled watching anton and chaewon bicker, anton giggled at chaewon's reddened face. you hoped you'd remember to tease her about it later.

your phone buzzed twice in your pocket and you held your breath as you fished it out and tapped the screen. face to face with taesan's messages, nearly shrieking, you quickly typed a response.

you paused for a second, calculating your next move. you really wanted to see him, praying to god that he was free and willing.

[2:09 a.m.]

y/n: yunjins place. in source complex

taesan: oh

taesan: what room

y/n: 204

taesan: im 3 floors up

taesan: in 511

y/n: can i come up

taesan: yeah of course

while you were definitely a little more sober than 15 minutes ago, you still fought to not squeal into your hand. looking around, you searched for yunjin so you could bid her goodbye.

...

mellow music still floating in the air of the living room, taesan dropped his phone in his lap. he let out a shaky sigh.

whether it was the weed or the fact that he was about to see you after what felt like forever, taesan was suddenly very nervous, wiping his hands on his pants and slowly standing from the couch.

rubbing his arms, he looked around the apartment, unsure of what to do until you got there. he assumed you'd take a bit to leave your friends apartment and make your way up to his. taesan hoped you'd make it okay; he wanted to come get you but was honestly way too fucking high to leave his apartment.

"i guess i'll go brush my teeth or something." the boy mumbled to himself, walking over to the bathroom to fix his hair and make sure he smelled okay.

...

stepping into the elevator, you looked at your reflection as the doors closed, almost forgetting to hit the button for the fifth floor in the midst of smoothing your hair down and fixing your slightly smeared eyeliner with your thumb.

closing your eyes, you lightly rubbed your temples in a sore attempt to bring yourself back to reality, and to emotionally prepare yourself.

you were seeing taesan again, finally.

you hid your blush from literally no one and smiled slightly into your hand as the elevator doors opened.

...

standing in front of the boy's door, the weight of the situation at hand truly hit you.

what exactly did you want from this?

what did you want from him?

if you ended up hurting him again you wouldn't be able to forgive yourself. huffing slightly, you brought a hand up to your neck to fiddle with your necklace and think.

your dazed yet racing thoughts were interrupted by the opening of the front door to taesan's apartment, door swinging back to reveal none other than the music major himself.

"hi" you smiled and spoke quietly.

even though he knew you were coming, the boy somehow still couldn't believe the sight in front of him. it was really you.

you looked as breathtaking as ever in his eyes, your hair a bit shorter than the last time he saw you. taesan caught himself and chuckled slightly, moving out of the way to make room for you.

"come in."

you blushed as you stepped into the apartment awkwardly, not sure what to do with yourself. the alcohol was still making your head spin, eyes adjusting slowly to the sight of taesan's living space. you slipped your shoes off quietly and followed the boy as he walked into the kitchen.

"do you want some water? or snacks? we have chips and fruit, unless sungho ate them all. i think we have some juice too...." taesan's high had clearly not worn off in the slightest, and the boy winced after realizing he rambled on about the contents of his pantry for a full 30 seconds.

you couldn't have cared less, eyes focused on how pretty his hair looked brushed down in his face. making eye contact with him, you noticed the red tint to them, giggling quietly.

"we also have -- are you even listening?" taesan smiled at your starry eyes as you shook your head and laughed.

"god y/n- okay let's just go sit down." he watched you eagerly turn around and nearly skip towards his living room couch, settling right in the middle of the sofa.

the couch cushions were soft as they rubbed slightly against the exposed skin of your legs. shivering slightly, you wished you'd worn a bit more than just a crop top and denim shorts.

your gaze traced the lines of the wood on his coffee table, thoughts lost and scattered. you were just as blown away at the sight of him as he was of you. you recalled the sight of his larger hands shoved in the pockets of his zip up, wondering what it would feel like to have them wrapped around your own.

you wriggled your socked toes to a beat only you could hear, trying to take your mind off of the nervousness flowing through your veins.

"here." you looked up quickly to see taesan standing in front of you, about an arms length away. "i brought you some water."

taesan bit his lip to keep himself from smiling at the sight of you on the sofa. he looked around awkwardly for a second, not sure where to sit -- you were in the middle of the couch and choosing either side of the sofa would leave him sitting directly next to you.

"why are you still standing? come sit." you tilted your head at him and patted the spot to your right softly, smiling up at the nervous boy.

sighing out in relief, taesan plopped down next to you and settled into the corner of the sofa. you turned slightly so you could face him as he spoke, glass of water abandoned on the coffee table.

"do you wanna watch a movie?" he asked.

"is it okay to turn on the tv this late?" you shyly responded

taesan's ears turned slightly red in embarrassment. he 100% forgot about his two other roommates sleeping soundly in their own rooms.

while they probably wouldn't mind the noise, taesan didn't want to have to explain why you of all people were in their living room at this very moment.

"if you're okay with it, we can watch something in my room, i can play it on my laptop." taesan spoke.

your cheeks burned slightly at the idea of seeing the boy's room but you hummed in agreement, standing up quickly. the sudden movement caused you to stumble a bit. taesan stood up after you, wrapping a hand around your arm in an attempt to steady you.

"are you okay?" he turned you to face him fully, hands resting lightly on your shoulders as he looked at you worriedly.

your breath hitched at the mere inches of space between the two of you. taesan's gaze left you speechless, and your eyes searched his face before landing on his lips.

for every minute that had passed since you sent that first fateful text message, the anticipation had been eating you alive. deciding you couldn't take it anymore, you pulled yourself up by the collar of the boy's hoodie and pressed your lips against his.

his mouth was plush and unmoving against yours and you let yourself close your eyes and savor the feeling for a moment before lowering yourself back onto your heels.

opening your eyes, you mentally geared yourself for the awkward conversation you feared was about to ensue. taesan, on the other hand, barely gave you a moment to breathe, chasing your lips the second they detached from his. slipping a hand behind your neck, he tilted his face down and sealed his lips over yours once again.

taesan's mind raced as he bit your bottom lip, wondering what this was going to lead to and if he'd regret it. he decided he couldn't care less when he felt you tilt your head to the side and push your tongue in his mouth.

you craned your face upward and grabbed the sides of his sweatshirt tightly, like he might disappear if you let go of him. you needed more of him.

you broke your lips from his for a split second to ask where his room was. taesan mumbled something you couldn't hear before pulling you by your shoulders. the boy's mouth didn't leave yours for a second, only pulling away to push his door open.

you opened your eyes slowly, looking up to meet the taller boy's hooded gaze. you turned around and took in the sight in front of you. taesan's bed was in the corner of the room, posters hung above a small desk. you smiled at the tangles of wires on the floor, leading to a small speaker system and bass guitar.

"gonna go turn off the lights and check the door." taesan's voice rasped. you hummed in acknowledgement and stepped forward into the room slowly.

you walked over and climbed onto the boy's bed, bringing your legs up so you could hug your knees. staring at your socked feet, your mind was completely blank. when taesan came back you were absentmindedly fixing your hair and shirt, not even noticing the boy's return.

"are you okay?" taesan asked softly.

you looked up to see his eyes on you, smiling at the way hands were politely tucked behind his back. he was nervous, hoping he didn't overstep or make you uncomfortable. taesan didn't think he could handle watching you run out his door a second time.

"okay?" you tilted your head in confusion.

"with this... being here with me." your heart panged with sadness, feeling so guilty for how you made him feel before. you wanted to make it up to him.

"i am. i want this. i promise, taesan." you watched taesan slowly process your words though his wavering high, smile forming on his face. his hands came up to push your legs down, and you scooted towards him, giggling and wrapping your legs are his standing figure.

taesan had abandoned his hoodie in the living room, now in a loose t-shirt. your hands scrunched the fabric of the graphic tee as you pulled the boy towards you again. taesan complied without a word, bending down to meet your awaiting lips. you moved your lips against his languidly, savoring each swipe of his tongue against yours.

taesan pushed your body backwards so he could climb on the bed with you. you scooted back until you were pressed against the headboard, only staying there for a second before taesan pulled you onto his lap.

his lips went to your neck, pressing soft kisses and grazing his teeth against the sensitive skin. with each kiss, bite, and swipe of his tongue against you, taesan could feel you practically melting into his lap. eyes screwed shut, your head leaned back to further expose your neck and your fingers tugged at the boy's hair.

you slightly pulled taesan's face away from you, bringing your hands to gingerly cup his face. his eyes were slightly glossed over as you placed a wet kiss on his lips.

the last traces of your sobriety were thrown out the window, both of you drunk off each other. taesan thought you looked like an angel, bringing a hand up to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear. your eyes formed crescents as you smiled at the boy, and he swore he almost stopped breathing.

your hand came up to rest over his that was still cupping your face, intertwining your fingers. bringing them closer to your face, you opened taesan's and placed a featherlight kiss in the center of his palm.

"what was that for?" taesan mumbled in between giggles as he watched you continue to play with his fingers.

"thank you." your voice wavered slightly, eyes looking up to meet his nervously. you laughed at the puzzled look on his face before continuing.

"for giving me a second chance and letting me come over." you sighed shakily under taesan's gaze. "i missed you, a lot."

"probably not as much as i missed you." taesan replied softly, squeezing your hands and tilting your chin up to meet your wide eyes.

the moment that passed between the two of you was long and drawn out, you savored the feeling of weight being lifted off your chest. trapped in his eyes and tucked in his arms, you couldn't fathom missing the chance to have han taesan like this.

as the thick silence dissolved and taesan's aching lips found yours again, the two of you knew staying away from each other was ill-fated from the start.

[bonus — 10:54 AM]

blinking the sleep from your eyes, you lazily searched taesan's fridge for a water bottle. as you shut the door, a loud crash abruptly pulled you out of your sleepy daze. coming face to face with myung jaehyun, you let out a yelp of surprise.

"no fucking way." he spoke. a bowl of dry cereal lay at his feet, contents now strewn across the kitchen tiles.

ears turning red, you realized how insane you must look: your hair was untied and messily brushed down and you were wearing nothing but an old tshirt and some boxers taesan had given you.

"what happe- oh god." taesan said from behind jaehyun, having rushed over to the kitchen to check on you. it was safe to say the last thing he expected was to see you and his roommate staring open mouthed at each other. flustered, taesan opened his mouth to explain, but jaehyun interrupted him with a loud sigh.

"fuck you tae, now i owe woonhak 20 bucks."

...

taglist: @iweirdthingsblog @yjwkisser @sulkygyu @enhyven

[lexosaurus]

Ghost Boy? In my college class? It's More Likely Than You Think

[ao3 link]

Warnings: None Words: 6,031

****

College was crazy. 

Okay?

There was absolutely no reason why college had to be as insane as it was.

Alright, maybe there was a reason. A reason called, "We have four years to make these students professionals in their chosen field, and some even less time than that."

Danny understood. He really, truly did. He knew that to work in his dream job at NASA, he needed to learn not just how to locate the constellations in the night sky, but also about subjects like chemistry, biology, calculus, physics—a lot of physics.

But seriously, when the hell was a guy supposed to sleep?

Last night's problem set only had five questions, theoretically. But it was run by a completely sadistic site that Vlad himself must have designed—that bastard—because while submitting a correct answer seemed to mark one of the five outlined stars in gold, the site also seemed to be more than happy to remove the gold star if he got a problem incorrect. 

Which meant that the theoretical five-questioned assignment ended up taking Danny many, many more questions than that. 

Just when he had thought the hell was over, he realized he still hadn't begun his paper for his mandatory freshman writing class. So then, he got the absolute pleasure of writing an essay about a stupid, Victorian-era play he didn't read regarding the symbolism of a hat as it related to...foreshadowing, or something. 

He didn't read it. He only signed up for this dumb writing seminar because the timing worked better on his schedule. He'd much rather be taking the writing class about horror novels. But unfortunately, that one happened during his mandatory physics course.

When it was all over and he finally caught sight of his pillow, he was pretty sure he’d shed a single tear. Did he remember sinking into the mattress? Closing his eyes, and drifting off?

No. He didn't. 

He was fucking tired.

But apparently, the universe did actually hate him because instead of being roused by his alarm the next morning, he was shaken by his ghost sense.

Oh yeah, apparently Skulker found his dorm.

Joy!

No seriously, fuck that guy. 

What the hell kind of sick weirdo wants to make a rug out of someone else's skin, anyway? Not to mention that Skulker had no conception of what a good time to hunt was, considering he seriously was trying to start chaos at five in the fucking morning.

Again, fuck that guy.

He only just barely had enough time to fly home, shower, hastily read over and submit his essay (he'd long since learned from high school that he couldn't trust himself that late at night to be coherent), and make a mad dash to his favorite bagel spot on the way to class.

However, the bagel guy—he had a name, Danny was almost sure—must have been under the weather today because, for some reason, he could not stop staring at Danny.

The instinct to run his hand over his face to check for post-fight ectoplasm splatters was a learned reaction at this point. But this time, he couldn't feel anything off. His skin was dry. Cold, like usual, but dry.

"Uh..." The bagel guy continued staring at him slack-jawed.

"Do I have something on my face?" 

That seemed to shake the bagel guy out of his stupor. He blinked, his eyes darting around to catch the eye of a few other customers who, for some reason, were giving Danny a really wide berth.

Did he smell or something? Had he forgotten to put his deodorant on?

Oh god, did his parents do something to make national news again? Did the news use a family photo when reporting the story or something? Why was everyone looking at him? Seriously, what the hell was going on today?

The bagel guy locked eyes with Danny once more, briefly, before darting back down to the register and handing Danny his change. "One everything bagel with cream cheese for the, uh—for—coming right up."

"Thanks," Danny said, trying to be as friendly as possible. Jazz always said that he shouldn't judge people for acting strange. That they could be going through something personal.

So, Danny shook it off. Maybe he missed a chunk of ectoplasm on his hair when he was showering. Skulker had nailed his shoulder pretty well. The green, ecto-infused smoothie he'd sipped that morning was working its magic to mend his skin, but who knew? Maybe a little bit of blood was leaking through his shirt. It wouldn't be the first time that happened, anyway.

Or the last.

Amazingly, he did get his bagel. But when the man handed it to Danny, his eyes were almost popping out of his skull. His heavily accented, "Ah, here is one—ah, your—your bagel," sounded especially halted today. 

But no. The big, gruff bagel guy wouldn't have stuttered. He wouldn't have been nervous to pass a bagel to a tired-looking college student either.

Danny must have misheard. 

He darted down the sidewalk. He was going to be late for class. And it was because of his internal panic that he didn't notice the girl with her nose buried in her cell phone at first. Not until she almost crashed into him, looked up, and nearly jumped out of her skin.

"HOLY SHIT!" she yelled, her hands flailing beside her. Her phone flew out from her fingers and clattered on the pavement.

"Sorry!" Danny scooped up her phone from the ground and handed it to her.

She stared at him as if he were completely insane, making no move to take the phone until Danny leaned forward a little closer and pointedly said, "Here."

Whether or not this girl was hungover or still drunk from whatever party she'd been at the night before, Danny did not have time to work around her brain. He was going to be late for class!

"Fuck," she said, eyes still glued on Danny. She did, however, finally reach out and gently take the offered cell phone.

Which was all he needed.

Mission accomplished, he whirled back around intending on continuing his fast-walk-nearly-run pace to the science building, but caught the eye of a biker who seemed to go into a similar trance as the bagel guy and ended up crashing straight into a parked car.

"Oh my god!" Danny darted over to the strewn biker. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine! Stay back!" the man yelled, struggling up and holding his hand out to block Danny from seeing his face.

Was this guy...cowering at him? Like he was some sort of ghost?

No, no. This was silly. Now Danny was just being paranoid.

"Just stay back!"

An oddly phrased demand, and a little biting at that, but the biker did just crash into a parked car because of Danny and that other girl—who was currently holding her phone up at Danny—so he guessed he could forgive this random dude for being a little snappish.

Danny didn't have time to dwell on this stranger anyway, because holy shit his class was starting in ten minutes and if Danny didn't get his ass to the room right now he was going to be screwed.

So with one more apology to the biker, and one more glance to the strange phone-obsessed girl, Danny adjusted the strap of his bag back over his shoulder and took off down the road.

Not literally took off. Though, he really wanted to jet through the air today. He'd had these urges to duck out of sight and fly to class before, but it never felt so compelling as right now. 

Unfortunately, the street was crowded as shit, and in between classes as it was, the building would likely be crowded too. Finding a discreet place to transform would probably take just as long as running to the classroom like his half-life depended on it. And so, the latter option it was.

Somehow, he managed to make it to class with five minutes to spare. Okay, maybe not somehow. Maybe he did risk using his flight to propel him forward a little bit. Could anyone blame him? 

College was crazy. And anyone who thought they saw a guy not quite touching the ground when he walked could have just as easily been sleep-deprived and were almost certainly hallucinating. Humans couldn't fly! Only ghosts could fly, and Danny Fenton was clearly a human college student just running to class.

Gaslight, gatekeep, ghostboss—or whatever the saying was.

Energy was buzzing in Danny’s veins, and he found it a little difficult to stay in his seat. An aftereffect of only barely using his flight powers, he was sure. His body got a taste of being airborne, and now it didn't want to return to the laws of gravity.

Danny could forgive his ghost core for that. Gravity could be very exhausting sometimes. Especially when he was in the middle of a ghost fight and his enemy was hurling him to the ground.

But he was in a lecture, and it would look weird if this random college student was hovering over his seat, so Danny forced his butt onto the chair as he dropped his bag beside him.

Whispers fluttered around him, which wasn't too unusual. People often talked in pleading freak-out whispers to their friends after an especially grueling night of homework.

Danny was about to turn to his chemistry lecture buddy and do the same—because seriously, he was going to have nightmares over that damn assignment for weeks—when he realized that his chemistry buddy was not in his usual seat.

And then, a whisper caught the attention of his enhanced eardrum.

"...ghost..."

"...Phantom..."

Ah, that explained it. 

Oh yeah, it was all coming together now.

They must have been talking about the ghost fight from this morning, the one with Skulker. This city wasn't Amity Park, so the students here weren't exactly used to ghost attacks. Of course, the initial fight was probably very exciting for them.

And, well, his parents probably were on the news that morning, but likely only to be interviewed about the attack. Maybe they ended up rambling about ghostly habits and migration patterns or whatever other bullshit theories they’d been churning with recently.

So then, the bagel guy must have recognized Danny as a Fenton, a child of Jack and Maddie, the infamous, kooky ghost experts.

The effects of that realization were delayed, but when they finally hit, he felt like his brain was hit by a semi-truck. Because, shit. He didn't know if he could deal with his bagel guy knowing who he was. He was going to have to find a new bagel spot, wasn't he? 

Danny craned his neck over to the door. The lecture was supposed to be starting, but his chemistry buddy was nowhere to be found.

But then, to his immense relief that he wouldn't have to suffer through this lecture by himself, the door opened to reveal the tall, lanky form of Cameron, his chemistry buddy.

Danny eagerly moved his bag out of the way of Cam's seat, his woes of that fucking assignment hot on his lips, but before he could begin his trauma-dumping session, something strange happened.

Really, really strange.

As Cam began habitually walking over to his seat, he looked up, caught Danny's eye, and froze.

His mouth parted into a perfect 'o,' his eyes widened, and his eyebrows disappeared under his hairline. Then, he backed up, caught the bewildered expression of another student near him, and moved to another aisle.

Danny sat there too stunned to call out to Cam, though the intent was at the precipice of his being. Hurt stabbed his gut, and the social anxiety the A-List had trained his brain for in high school started creeping up his spine.

Did Danny do something wrong? 

Why had Cam moved away?

What did that look to the other kid mean?

He tried to think of a reason why Cam might have suddenly decided that Danny was a weirdo freak that should be avoided, but the only thing he remembered doing between yesterday and today was the two texts he'd sent at eleven last night complaining about the assignment. But surely, everyone had complained, right?

Or was the assignment genuinely effortless for everyone? And Danny was just an idiot who didn't understand some really simple concept, and now Cam had suddenly realized that he'd picked the wrong chemistry buddy to sit next to in class?

That must have been it.

Why else had he moved away?

Danny turned around, looking to the back of the lecture hall. But all he could see was a sea of faces all looking at him.

Okay, honestly, what the fuck was wrong with everyone today?

He whipped out his phone, paranoia striking through his gut like a spear. Maybe he'd accidentally revealed himself during the fight? But he checked Google, searching for Phantom's human identity, but all he got at the top of the search were old Reddit threads theorizing about which historical figure he could have been, and celebrity news sites spouting completely absurd clickbait-type theories about his past.

Is Danny Phantom Napoleon's son?

Could Danny Phantom be Related to George Washington?

New Theory Suggests Danny Phantom is Alexander the Great!

Yeah, like Danny was leading legions of ghosts around Europe anytime soon.

As Danny wracked his brain for what the hell he'd done to deserve the wrath of having his classmates stare at him like he was some sort of weird alien species and everyone was plotting on how to initiate first contact, the side door opened and the professor came darting in the hall with a stack of folders all but falling out of his hands and a muttering of breathy, "sorry, sorry," light on his lips.

The muttering broke out into jilted, uncomfortable laughter, and Danny still couldn't help the feeling that they were laughing at him. 

He tried to brush that off as just the remnants of his high school on him and keep his attention focused on his short, salt-and-pepper-haired professor who looked like he couldn't remember if he was going to a beach party or Burning Man today, and decided to dress for both. 

Yang put the manila folders down on the front table, miraculously without spilling any of the contents inside, set his bag down on the rolling chair beside him, and picked up a piece of chalk to face the board.

He held a hand up and began writing Chemistry 101 — Stoichiometry on the board.

Behind Danny, the snickers grew louder. 

Was there some inside joke that he just wasn't getting? Had his classmates prepared some sort of prank for the teacher today and Danny hadn't read the email? Was it April Fool's Day, even though logic and reasoning told Danny that it was only October?

"Sorry I was late, everyone," Yang began. "Now if you don't mind, I want to begin by going over a few problems from last night's assignment. I noticed a pattern in the problems everyone was getting wrong..."

Someone coughed rather obnoxiously behind him.

Danny felt ice begin to build in his stomach. 

"...so as you can see here, I noticed a lot of people forgot to calculate the used excess of iron to find the amount of excess reactants. Remember, guys, you can't just subtract the bigger and smaller masses in the problem..."

Another obnoxious cough. 

Yang didn't break stride. "...you have to actually convert it to moles and set up your mole ratio, and then convert back to grams. I mentioned this in class but it seemed like too many of you—"

"Professor Yang?" the impatient voice of Brittany, one of his classmates, said from behind.

The class broke out in a fit of whispers and giggles, this time not even trying to hide their restlessness.

"What is it?" Yang turned around, his chalk still hovering on the board.

And then he looked at Danny. His eyes bugged out like a cartoon, sticking out beyond the rims of his glasses. His jaw opened and closed like a fish, and he dropped the chalk on the floor.

Now, the class was roaring with noise.

Danny stared eye-to-eye with the professor for ten seconds or ten minutes. He didn't know which, and it didn't matter anyway, because then Yang's thin lips opened to exclaim a word that may as well have electrocuted him all over again:

"Phantom?" 

Confusion and panic hit Danny like a sledgehammer.

How did Yang know he was Phantom? Had he been revealed? Did everyone know he was Phantom?

And then he heard the whispers. 

"It's really him! It's Phantom!"

"Why is he here?"

"It's Phantom!"

No!

No!

How did everyone know his secret?

Danny had to stop this.

He had over four years of hiding his ghost half from his parents, the world, and most impressively, his parents. Over the years, he'd honed his ability at lying and using his silver tongue to smooth over situations with such practiced ease, he was expecting his Oscar in the mail any day now.

Which is why, like an utter pro, he jumped up from his seat and shouted, "It's a lie, I'm not a ghost!"

The room went silent, and then was launched into a frenzy.

"Phantom!"

"Is he delusional?"

"It's really him! It's Phantom!"

His panic was bordering on hysteria as it stampeded over him, beating his core so furiously that Danny thought it was going to jump through his ribcage.

He stood, his gloved hands held out in front of him as he began his best at pleading with the masses, but before he could grovel too much, Professor Yang's voice sliced through him like a knife, calling out, "Phantom! What are you doing in my class?"

Wait...

Gloved hand?

Danny looked at his hands again. They were gloved.

And glowing.

The relief was so heavy on his shoulders, his back, and every inch of his skin. It was also mortifying.

Because here he was, in his Chemistry 101 class not as Fenton, but as Phantom. 

"Holy shit," Danny muttered. 

What. The. Hell.

No, really.

What the hell?

How was this happening?

Had he really been so tired that he'd forgotten to change out of his Phantom form after Skulker's fight?

No, hang on—had he been walking around in his Phantom form all morning?

How had he not noticed?

Then all the memories came flying back to him at once. The bagel guy acting weird, staring at him like he wasn't sure if he should seriously give a ghost a bagel because "Do ghosts need to eat? Is human food poison?"

And then the girl. She hadn't screamed because she nearly crashed into a stranger, she screamed and threw her phone in the air because she'd nearly crashed into Phantom. And that's why she was recording him after, too. She was recording Phantom, a ghost that wasn't native to this college town.

Danny thought he'd die of cringe-fail right there because that meant she also recorded the biker crashing into a parked car and was probably uploading it to TikTok later. He was sure it would be trending in minutes.

That was, if she hadn't already uploaded it to Tiktok, and it wasn't already trending. His phone suddenly felt heavy in his pocket. 

He looked around at the faces of intrigue and excitement, feebly attempting to squash the anxiety that was currently tap dancing over his skin.  Okay, so his initial attempt at acting hadn't gone so well. That was okay; nobody could be perfect all the time. If he just channeled the inner cool and suave hero that he was, he could totally save the situation.

For sure.

He floated a few feet in the air. His legs felt awkward sprawled out, and he tried to form a ghost-tail, but somehow his sense of self was too strong for that today. No matter, to balance it out, he splayed his arms out wide and began doing jazz hands, saying, "It's me! Danny Phantom! Just here checking your classroom for ghosts!" 

There was a moment of collective pause before his brain caught up with what his mouth said, and then he scrambled, making a big show of ducking around the room to search for...ghosts, or something. He lowered to the floor to check under the auditorium chairs, flew to the front of the room to peek around the tables, and finally went up to the ceiling to glance around the four corners of the room.

Once he felt embarrassed enough, he stopped in the center of the room, puffed out his chest, and said, "Good news, citizens! There are no ghosts in this room!"

Whispers and mutters once again broke out from his classmates, along with a few giggles. In the front of the classroom, Yang's head was craned up to look at him, his expression showing pure bafflement. 

Okay, Danny was bombing this set. He was catching onto the vibe of the room, and had come to this very astute conclusion: there was no saving this. 

Time to abort the mission.

"Well, that will be all! Have a fun class learning about chemistry!" 

And then, without another word, he jetted through the wall and into the hallway of the building, turning invisible immediately. Fortunately, with classes having started several minutes ago, the corridors were mostly empty. Only a few stragglers remained, booking it down the halls and trying to duck inconspicuously into their classrooms. 

Danny cut around a corner of the hall where, thankfully, no one was standing. That didn't stop him from triple-checking over his shoulder (it was just the water fountain, Danny) before he let his ring wash over him.

Then, when he was sure he was human again this time, he ran down the hall and pushed open the auditorium door to his class which, by the looks of things, hadn't calmed down from their encounter yet.

The door hit the wall with a bang—oops, he thought he hadn't pushed so hard—and then every head was turned to him.

"Sorry!" Danny rubbed the back of his neck and gestured vaguely to the clock on the wall. "I lost track of time."

The room was...silent. Incredibly, confoundingly silent. 

That wasn't good.

On instinct, Danny glanced down again to make sure that he was wearing his red hoodie and blue jeans and not his Phantom black and white jumpsuit. He was, in fact, wearing the right clothes. And out of the corners of his eyes, he saw the glint of his black bangs.

So then, what the fuck?

Alright, there was no need to panic. He was human, his classmates were human, they'd just met Phantom, and now Danny was busting in the classroom late. It wouldn't be the first time he was late to class, anyway. Lots of students were late for chemistry! 

With his brain sufficiently pep-talked, he pointed as inconspicuously to his seat as he could and said, "I'll just...take my seat." 

No one responded, so he took that as his cue to begin his walk of shame up the steps of the auditorium aisles to his usual seat near the front, which was still amazingly void of students anywhere near it.

"Phantom?" a voice rang out from the spattering of students around the room.

Danny missed the next step and ate shit on the floor. His bag hit his back heavily, and he could have sworn his shoe nearly flew off his feet. He scrambled to stand, his hand missing the railing only once, before he managed to stand back proud and tall. Sort of. His backpack had slid off one shoulder, and his body was hunched forward and he tried to regain his breath because holy shit, it actually really hurt for his torso to land on the corner of the step.

He rubbed his sternum, sure it was going to bruise, and coughed out, "Uh—what?"

"Phantom!" the voice, now too familiar, repeated. "You're him. Phantom."

Danny glanced up, and dread not only slammed into him with the force of a semi, but also backed up and floored it into his soul again. And again.

Because that voice was none other than his Chem 101 buddy, Cam.

No, Danny was a magnificent actor. He surely could save this one.

What did people always say? Something about the third try being a charm?

He could really use a charm right now. Unfortunately, Murphy seemed keen on watching him suffer instead.

"No—no way! I'm not a ghost! I'm totally human, guys! See?" Danny said with quite a lot of conviction, waving his hands beside his body like some sort of circus display.

It was so conclusive of a performance, that Cam simply laughed. 

Shit. This was not how he wanted today to go at all.

"I can't believe I never put it together before! Did people really buy that in your hometown?" 

"What act? I'm not acting!" Danny insisted.

But his classmates, it seemed, were even less convinced. 

"Seriously, it's so obvious."

"How did no one notice?"

"They're literally the same person it's crazy."

"What? No! No we're not the same person!" Danny insisted, trying not to sound desperate and hopelessly failing. "He's my—uh—twin? Yeah, that. He's my twin."

"He's obviously not," a classmate said.

"He is. He died in the womb," Danny refuted.

"Okay, now you're just being ridiculous."

"Does it sound better or worse if I say that my mother drank ectoplasmic smoothies while she was pregnant and that's why he turned into a ghost?"

"Fenton!" Professor Yang called out.

Danny felt his blood turn so cold they started forming frost in his veins. 

And then, he refused to look down because he was pretty sure ice crystals were glueing his feet to the floor.

In his panic, he'd totally forgotten that this was, in fact, a classroom. With a professor. And not just any professor, his chemistry professor. As in, the guy that had the sole power of crushing all of Danny's dreams of working for NASA via the power of the curve.

Yang took a step back, colliding with the chalkboard behind him and smearing white dust all over his brightly-colored shirt. But he ignored this, instead finding it more pertinent to fold his arms and regard Danny with a look of pure incredulation. "Are you really Phantom?"

"What? No!" Danny said. However, as luck would have it, that gasping answer caused him to inhale the wrong way, and coughs shot up his throat to overtake his body.

And then like the valiant superhero he was, he began having a coughing fit. In front of his classmates.

He knew Sam and Tucker always called him a dork, but this was really unfair.

"You okay, Phantom?" one student asked.

Danny tried to argue, "I'm not Phantom," but unfortunately for him, he hadn't stopped coughing yet.

Taking his silence for a confirmation that he was in fact the elusive ghost known as Phantom, another classmate commented, "I didn't know Phantom breathed."

Not-so-quiet whispers and mutters broke out around the class at once discussing theories of his cardiovascular system.

All while Danny was doubled over, trying desperately to reclaim what little of his dignity was still left. As well as reclaim some of the oxygen that his body seemed more than willing to push away for some reason.

Seriously, was he out of karma yet? 

Okay, Universe, if this is your way getting back at me for reading the Cliffnotes of that book for the essay last night, I get it. Cheating is bad, blah blah blah. I'm very sorry in a deeply remorseful way, so can we please stop ruining my life now?

"...so he wouldn't need to breathe!" A classmate's voice had stepped above the rest.

"That's what I said!"

"Dude, he's literally fallen asleep on my floor once. I'm telling you he needs to breathe."

That voice must have been Cam's.

Danny took a deep breath, regaining control of his lungs. "Wait, guys!"

But it was too late. And, oh god, why were people now giggling over their phones? Had someone taken a video of him earlier? Was he trending online right now?

If this got back to Sam and Tucker, he was never going to live this down. 

"Okay, okay!" Yang's voice rose in volume. "Class, settle down!"

The class went silent.

"Alright, I know we are all curious to know about Fenton's secret double life—"

"I don't have a secret double life!"

"Sure you don't, Phantom," Cam said.

"—But please, we do actually have quite a bit of material to cover today, judging by the very impressive homework scores from last night. And, by the way, class, might I remind you all that my office hours are on Mondays and Wednesdays from two to four. I won't name names, but I'll just say that if you need to make it a point to come for some review, you know who you are."

Was Yang looking at him?

"Regardless, if Fenton is done screwing around with his ghost powers, we do need to get through the material sometime this year."

"But I'm not a ghost!" Danny protested.

"Dude, you're standing in a block of ice," a classmate argued. 

"Holy shit, he froze his legs to the floor!"

Danny felt frost on his cheeks. "The A/C system is broken! Everyone knows that!"

"The ice is glowing." 

"So? A lot of ice glows."

"Fenton, please." Yang had never sounded so disappointed in his life. "I'd expect anyone in this class to know that ice is made of which elements?"

Danny hated where this was going. "Hydrogen and oxygen."

"And please describe the bonds to me."

"The hydrogens have a double bond with the oxygen, and then there's two pairs of electrons leftover."

"What shape?" Yang pressed, pushing his wiry glasses up his nose.

"Bent."

"Good, thank you. So we have two hydrogen and one oxygen in an H20 molecule, yes? And so tell me, would that configuration with those two elements cause anything to glow?"

"Um, no." Danny had the sudden urge to die. "Water does not glow." 

"But, interestingly, ectoplasmic water does glow, correct? Because....?"

They'd touched over ecton science earlier in the semester. "Because ectons are larger and can sit closer to the nucleus which results in atoms fusing and due to the greater amounts of energy they emit, some this excess energy can be seen in our visible spectrum."

Yang smiled and then gestured to the seat devoid of any humans near it that Danny, previously Phantom, had been sitting in at the start of class. "Thank you, Mr. Phantom. Now, if we're all done dillydallying, we have some stoichiometry to go over."

It took Danny more than a second of the awkward silence that followed to realize that oh yeah, his feet were literally frozen in place.

"So..." He glanced around the room, meeting the expectant gazes of his classmates. "Just to be clear, none of you care that I might potentially be..."

A ghost?

Phantom?

Some sort of weird mutant hybrid thing?

"Danny, you're the only one making a big deal out of this," a classmate answered.

Danny guffawed.

"Yeah, it's whatever. You're dead, so what? We're all dead in college. You're not special."

"I have a biology lecture later right after this for my weed-out course and going to that is basically the same thing as dying, I'm pretty sure," Cam joined in.

Danny resisted the urge to smack his forehead with his open palm.

He turned back to Yang. "And if I were maybe the—uh—being that kind of has saved humanity from being invaded by ghosts give or take one or two times, would that maybe get me extra credit on the next test?"

"No."

Well, that was a brutally quick response.

Danny shrugged. "It was worth a shot." He reigned in on his core's fluttering, and the ice began to melt around his feet. 

He tried to ignore the obvious phone flipped his way as he did.

Shit, this was going to be all over social media later. How embarrassing. He could only hope that Tucker wouldn't find it. But who was he kidding? If he checked his phone, he bet he already had about sixteen messages from Tucker laughing at his misfortune.

Once he finished freeing himself from his ecto-ice like some ghost toddler, he began a very graceful and humiliating trek to his seat, complete with multiple instances of him bumping into chairs as he trudged down the row. When he finally reached his seat, it was just his luck that the rusty hinges let out an obnoxious creaking wail as he lowered himself down. He winced, hissing out apologies, but in the silent hall, the sounds of the withered metal were almost too much to bear.

It was for that reason that his entire body refused to unclench until the professor was well underway with his lecture about excess reactants and whatever else they were going to be quizzed on next week.

He tried his best to pay attention and not check his phone for the no doubt endless notifications. He'd already made his presence too obvious in this hall, anyway. Professor Yang would have been thoroughly annoyed if, after everything, Danny decided to spend the remainder of the class on his phone.

Miraculous as it was, he did manage to survive the lecture.  

After class when he finally was able to check his phone, he saw that the world was too focused on the viral posts about Phantom being spotted outside of Amity Park to give any attention to the little itty bitty post of Danny, in human form, frozen to his lecture hall floor.

As it turned out, that post only had two likes—one of them was Tucker—and one comment from a random user reading, "lol why phantom freeze that dweeby kid to the ground???"

Danny didn't resist the urge to facepalm this time, and in fact did it so hard he was surprised he didn't give himself a concussion.

Well.

At least his secret was safe.

****

"You really don't care that I'm Phantom, do you?" Danny asked, looking up from the barely clean dorm room floor that his back was currently stretched out against.

"No?" Cam glanced from his notebook. "Why?"

"Uh, I figured the whole part where I'm a part ghost would have been a little weird?"

Cam's thin brows shot up to his hairline. "You're only a part ghost?"

"Yeah? Why, what did you think?"

"Oh, I just figured you were legit dead or something."

Cam uttered those words with such nonchalance that Danny reacted immediately, shooting up from the floor so hard he accidentally switched into his Phantom form.

"You thought I was dead?" His voice echoed when he spoke, and his ghostly tail wiggled underneath him. 

Cam's pointed look and handwave were explanation enough.

"Okay, you know what? That's fair." Danny swiped his notebook off the floor and forced his adrenaline-spiked body back into human form. "That's actually super fair."

"Yeah I mean, being a ghost is sort of Phantom's whole shtick, anyway."

"Right but like...wait, you didn't even care that you thought I was a fully dead and deceased ghost taking college classes? And you still wanted to do homework with me tonight?"

Cam, once again, only gave a very lazy shrug. "Well, yeah. I just want to pass this class, dude, and we've already established that we should tag-team team this class instead of trying to rawdog it by ourselves."

"I mean...I guess?" Danny blinked at his friend, his mind reeling with astonishment. "You're weird, you know that?"

"Says the ghost-human person or whatever. Now, are we gonna finish this prelab assignment, or are you gonna keep having an existential crisis about your place in the Universe?" 

Danny slid back on the floor, propping his knees up to lay his notebook against. "No, you're right. We need to finish this prelab."

"Thank fucking god."

****

[read more of my stuff here]

[strangemaleswaps]

Strange Roommate Swap

I started walking back to my dorm from the last class of the day. It was my second year of college and there was no doubt autumn was coming up fast with the amount of people wearing jackets outside. I was way ahead of them, as I was desperate for the weather to get colder so I could wear my leather jacket. I felt really cool with it on, even though I wasn't really a cool guy. I was kinda sensitive and geekish, but hey, if I can look the part then maybe people will think of me as cool.

I arrived at the dorm building, walked inside, and took the elevator to get to the 6th floor where my room was. I opened the door to find my roommate, Nathan, on his PC as usual. He was a pretty big guy, at least bigger than me. I've seen his clothing sizes from when his shirts were lying on the floor, and he wore size XL, and sometimes 2XL. But even though I was gay and we were roommates, he wasn't really my type.

When Nathan noticed me, he immediately got up and started heading towards the bathroom. We were the type of roommates that rarely spoke to each other, unless it was something chore related. We should've been friends because we both spent most of our freetime online, but I guess we're both too shy. But still, I wondered what was up so I broke the silence.

“Hey what's up?” I said.

“I got a date. I told myself I'd start to get ready around the time you got back.”

“Oh nice!” Woah, he didn't seem like the type anybody would be attracted to, but I guess there were plenty of fish in the sea. He grabbed some clothes and closed the bathroom door, so I began working on my homework. After awhile he walked back out in a shirt and tie, with his beard neatly trimmed.

“Looking good,” I blurted out. He didn't seem to care how awkward I sounded because he smiled.

“Thanks man.”

He did his hair a bit and was out the door in a flash. I wondered who he was going on a date with?

A few hours later I was doing homework on my bed when the door opened and Nathan walked in. He didn't look too happy so I'm guessing the date didn't go too well. Since I didn't know much about his personal life, I didn't want to say a word in case he was the type to lash out at others. So I just continued what I was doing.

He began taking off his formal clothes. Nathan was the type of guy that wasn't shy with undressing in front of people. The sight of him shirtless wasn't the prettiest sight though. When he untucked his shirt, his belly flopped back down, hanging over his belt.

People always warned me about eating habits in college and most get that Freshman 15, but from what I've seen with old photos of Nathan, he went way beyond 15. He was as skinny as I was now on some of his socials, so he must've really let himself go. Good thing I had a fast metabolism; I hadn't gained a pound since I got to college.

He didn't take off the rest of his clothes; he just plopped down onto his chair, turned on his PC, and started gaming. I finished up my homework and decided to do the same, opening up my laptop and spending the rest of the night online until I was ready to take my contacts out and head to bed.

The next morning I woke up to my alarm, that for some reason sounded much further away. I opened my eyes to find it actually wasn't next to me at all…and for some reason I was in Nathan's bed? I looked to the other side of the room and saw a lump in my bed - a sign that someone was underneath the covers. I reached around to find glasses…although they weren't mine, somehow I could see with them. When I tried to sit up, I found it way more difficult to do so. It felt like gravity was pushing down extra hard. Maybe the sheets were weighing me down? I threw them off to find I was shirtless…and fat! What the fuck! I put my hand over the round lump of flesh to confirm if it was real or not. It was soft to the touch and felt kinda squishy. I also had a good amount of chest hair, which was something I wasn't used to, being a hairless twink. But I definitely wasn't a twink anymore!

I got up off the bed and could feel my entire body jiggle. I looked down at my belly and although it was harder to see with my big gut in the way, I noticed I was wearing blue shorts - Nathan's blue shorts. Oh god. I began making my way towards the bathroom when the covers started moving from my bed. What must've been Nathan in my body pulled them off himself and stared at me for a few seconds until he found my glasses, put them on, and stared at me again, looking even more confused.

“Brent? What's going on? That IS you right?”

“I-uh don't even know.”

“Why is it like…I'm seeing myself?” He then glanced down at himself and squeezed his shirt… I mean my shirt. He then lifted it up and bit and touched my chest, rubbing his hand around.

“Are we…?”

“Each other…”

“Fuck”

I could tell this must've been as awkward for him as it was for me. “So uh…do you want to do the big reveal?”

“The what?”

“You know. Like in those movies where they both look in the mirror at themselves and scream or whatever.”

“Uh…sure.” He jumped out of bed, and power walked to the bathroom. It was so strange seeing myself walk around, like playing a 3rd person perspective game. Is that what I really looked like? When we got to the mirror, I understood what he meant. It really was like in those movies where they freak out at their new bodies.

It was crazy to gaze straight ahead at the mirror and see someone else's face. It was like wearing a mask or something, but I grazed my hands all over and assured myself that it was all real. I slowly moved my hand to my chest and felt the curves of my…man tits. I was grossed out and pulled my hand away.

“You don't have to do that. I mean it is your body now afterall…er right now anyway.”

It was kinda creepy, the idea of him allowing me to touch his body, especially since it was spoken with my voice. All of a sudden reality set in. I was so focused on how ugly I looked that I completely forgot we had no idea how this happened or how to change back!

“We need to figure this out soon. I have class today!”

“Can't you just skip?”

“No I can't. It's the kind of class that knocks down your grade if you don't attend.”

“Oh shit. Well I could go for you I guess.”

The idea of someone else going around looking like me in public was unsettling but I don't think I had a choice.

“Fine. But hurry up. I don't want to be late.”

Nathan got ready for me, putting on exactly what clothes I told him to wear, which included my leather jacket. Seeing myself from a different perspective made me realize how hot I actually was. I glanced down at my chubby belly as I hoped this curse would end soon. I told Nathan the details of getting to my class and everything, and as he closed the door behind him, I realized that I didn't know what I should do today. He didn't have any classes of his own and I really didn't want to go out in public like this.

I walked back into the bathroom and stared at my fat self as I touched Nathan's belly. I instinctively made my way down towards his dick and felt a bulge forming. Why was this happening? I definitely wasn't turned on by Nathan. Maybe it had something to do with the idea that I was technically grabbing someone else's dick. I didn't want to see his face so I took off my glasses. That way I could kinda see everything else, but not a clear identification. I then grabbed my belly as I stroked my dick and started jerking.

The fat slapped my arm with every movement, but I didn't care. I came all over the floor and after a bit, I got dressed and decided to go outside after all. Surprisingly the idea of walking around as a fat guy in public was turning me on once again. I really didn't even mind Nathan walking around in my body now if it meant I could walk around in his!

[boltwrites]

NEED to know what happens when logan meets your parents for the first time - does he flirt w/ your mom? What do they think about the age gap? Does your dad like him or is he all "nobody's good enough for my princess😤" do they know you're mutants? Giving you full creative freedom to do as you please just give it to me 😭😭

A/N: ok, so since you've given me creative freedom, we have: 20s-ish mutant fem!reader who teaches at the mansion on 10005, old man worst wolverine!logan, the two of you met after the events of dp3 and the relationship progressed from there.

also. this shit has been giving me so many problems. i was really trying to write typical white-picket fence, suburban sitcom-style parents, but honestly? i don't know dick about those type of parents. so you get these assholes instead.

this may actually be one of the worst things i've ever written. i might add a part two at some point, but really i just think this is horrible and want it out of my sight lmao. so here you go.

Your palms were sweaty, your heart racing, as you reached for the doorknob to your childhood home, Logan standing to your side. The last time you'd brought a boy home (and he had been a boy) things hadn't ended well.

Your dad was a traditionalist, you see, and your mom - well, she wasn't one to judge your choices, but you could tell that sometimes when you told her about your love interests, she was holding in laughter. But your dad - he was very vocal about the expectations he had for your partners. He'd never treated you like some kind of princess or prize - oh no. he was a man who saw his children as students of his own knowledge. No matter what your gender, he had taught you how to trim a tree, change a tire, wire a light switch, cook a filling meal - the basics of owning a home and keeping it put together.

Because of that, your parents hadn't often approved of your previous boyfriends. In high school, you'd been too frightened to bring them home. You'd only attended a traditional public school for your freshman year, and the rest of your time spent at Xavier's you'd been far too worried about your dates accidentally exposing themselves as mutants to justify introducing them to your parents. They weren't anti-mutant, per-say... but they certainly weren't supportive, and you didn't want to put even your prom date through that.

As you grew older (graduated college, was hired on as a teacher at the mansion instead of a simple student), you came to understand the reasons why your parents were so discerning as to your choice in men. Your mother's stoic judgment wasn't meant to be mean - she just wanted you to choose a man for more than just superficial attraction, to think of the bigger picture. Which, you'd been blissfully unaware of, as a teen. Your father's traditionalism wasn't rooted in outdated gender norms - it was simply connected to the fact that he wanted your partner to be able to support both you and your household in a significant way. That's why he was always harping on picking a "real man" - not some newfound conservative bullshit, but the simple understanding that sometimes men tried to do the bare minimum, and that he knew you deserved so much more.

And Logan, well. He could certainly support you. He was unlike any man you'd ever dated. He didn't have any social media you had to worry about - no feed or "for you" page filled with scantily clad women and sexist messaging disguised as finance advice - only a stupid flip phone he refused to text you on. He was helpful, attentive, affectionate - even despite the trauma you'd both experienced as mutants. You understood that his struggled has affected him far more than your had, that he still needed to heal - and even though that strained your relationship at times, you knew he cared, knew he tried - so you fought for it. That was something you couldn't say about your previous boyfriends.

Plus, you knew he could handle your weirdass parents.

"Nervous?" He'd asked you, when you asked him if he wanted to meet your parents. You'd given him a side-eyed look as you posed the concept, like you were giving him an out to decline.

"I mean, kind of?" You responded, hesitant. All he did was chuckle, smirking at you.

"What, am I gonna pull up to your dad cleaning his shotgun in the garage?"

"Honestly? Maybe, but that's not what I'm worried about," you admitted, fidgeting. "It's... it's hard to explain. I guess the closest thing is that they're - funny? Like - they'll make fun of you. My dad - he makes all of these horrible inappropriate jokes, like, all the time, and my mom is just really sarcastic, and she seems super judgmental because of it, but really, she's just being funny."

Logan just looked at you, one eyebrow raised. "

What?" You asked. You'd expected more from him. But he just snorted.

"Babe, I've been stuck in the void with Wade-fucking-Wilson. I'm not scared of your parents."

So, you took a breath, offered Logan one last "brace yourself-" and pushed open the door. Immediately you were met with the smell of something cooking - you recognized it immediately as one of your dad's signature dishes, sizzling on the stove.

"Hey, we're here!" You called out, you tried to usher Logan in and up the stairs of your split-level, but he insisted on closing the door behind you - and the shitty screen door that had been around since before you were born made a horrible shaking, scraping metal sound as it bounced along the concrete of your porch. Ah, the sound of home.

"Hey, you!" Your dad called, poking his head out of the kitchen. "What're you- hey, ho! Who's this?" He gestured to Logan with the spatula in his hand, and your face immediately reddened.

"Dad, this is Logan."

"Hey," Logan nodded in greeting, and your dad made a little shocked noise.

"Logan? Who's Logan?"

"Jesus Christ-" you huffed it under your breath, and Logan tried to stifle a chuckle. "He's my boyfriend, remember?"

"Boyfriend?" Your dad's voice pitched higher. "That motherfucker looks older than me!"

Well. There was your dad getting right to the point, as per usual.

"I am," Logan replied, and you fucking elbowed him in the ribs.

"No mutant shit - they don't know," you hissed a reminder, and he rolled his eyes.

"Hey - you see this guy, Nikki?" Your dad called to the dining room.

Your mom sighed - unlike your dad, she had some kind of decorum, and had the decency to shoot him daggers before she met you and Logan at the top of the steps.

"It's nice to meet you, Logan," she greeted him - you could tell that she was fighting the all consuming urge to shoot you a look or make a joke about this whole thing. She was trying so hard. It was like that scene in Who Framed Roger Rabbit with the shave and a haircut song.

"Would you like something to drink?" she asked. "Since you're clearly old enough-"

It was like some demon forced her to spit out that line. You snorted, had to shake your head. This was a mistake.

"What do you have?" Logan asked instead, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, smirking at the whole situation. It was like he lived to see you embarrassed.

"Water, coke, iced tea -" she listed off.

"My dad's shitty beer," you added, and Logan's brow raised.

"Hey! Busch is good beer!"

"No the fuck it is not," you replied, because he didn't even drink the light stuff.

"I don't care, I'll take the beer," Logan cut in, and your dad wagged a finger at him.

"Yeah! I'll get you one - it's good shit, man. Somebody watch the stove."

Oh good lord. There he goes. Logan shot you a look - lip quirked into a little smile, before your dad clapped him on the shoulder and hauled him towards the stairs.

That just left you. And your mom.

She looked at you. You looked at her.

"Well?" you asked, stepping up to take your dad's place at the stove to watch the food. Your mom shrugged in response.

"Well, what?"

"Aren't you going to ask me about him - make some weird comment about his age? I mean - now would be the time," you hedged. You just hated this weird aura surrounding you all. How it felt like she had so many questions to ask, but was holding them all back.

"Obviously I can tell he's old," your mom replied. "It's not really a discussion. Is there something we do need to talk about?"

You knew what she meant. Were you safe with him? Were you happy? Did you bring him here to meet them because you needed help, not because you wanted to share your happiness with them?

Some people might find that sort of implication unthinkable, or rude to address - but you knew your mom. She watched a lot of true crime. She just cared about you.

"No," you replied, with a sigh. "I-I really like him. He's a good man. He actually - he knows how to be a man, if you know what I mean. How to take care of himself. I don't know - I didn't realize how important that was until I met him."

You mom nodded. Her arms were crossed, and she wore her typical resting bitch face, but you could tell she understood what you meant.

"Well. Hopefully your father doesn't shoot him."

[heevanly]

LATE NIGHT TALKS : LEE HEESEUNG (이희승)

𝐬yn. : being the host of a college late night radio talk show was a passion project since freshman year of college, but now as a senior, y/n hadn't expected the fame it brought to herself on campus... but maybe it was the recent string of murders that caused more tuning in than ever seen before.

𝐰arnings. / 𝐭ags. : (18+!). small series. gore. horror. college au. similar to a murder mystery au. swearing. mentions of wanting to vomit (no vomiting occurs). humor. mildly suggestive. no smut. main character death. side character death. heeseung and jay are manipulators. jay and heeseung have a small argument. enha members as main / side characters. lsf members as side characters. ive members as side characters. pet names used mockingly (baby, sweetheart, honey). more to be added as parts come out.

𝐧ote. : warnings are just overall, not everything mentioned is in this part in particular (like 98% is tho). also welcome to my first fully published work, i hope you guys like it. everything is also in lowercase, not sure why but that's just how things ended up happening haha.

𝐭aglist. : @livsateez @velvethana @ilyjxdz

© @heevanly 2024 | do NOT copy, plagiarize, reupload, or steal my works.

WC : 6.7k

Part Two. (TBD)

walking towards the music building on your campus was always the worst trek for you. it was the furthest building from your on-campus apartment and it was a combination of uphill walking, stairs, and loose gravel sidewalk that for some reason the school had yet to get fixed. you kick a loose rock and grumble incoherently, watching the rock hit the bottom stair leading up to the building. letting out a sigh you begin walking up the last of the stairs that leads towards the building. 

the night was serene at least, a bit chilly but it was still early spring, you’re just glad the hoodie you’re currently wearing is enough to block out the wind blowing past every so often. with the last bit of sunlight fading behind the horizon, you scan your fob into the building’s sensor, unlocking the doors.

a small noise crunches somewhere from behind you and your head immediately turns in the direction of the sound yet nothing is there. eyebrows furrowing, you rescan the fob and head inside the building shaking your head, “i hate walking at night, curse heeseung and his off-campus apartment, if only he’d pick me up.”

you head into the hallway that holds the elevators that lead into the basement. it’s never been the most ideal location to record, but it offered a few rooms that had equipment and space you needed to borrow.

after the trip down from the elevator you walk into the room the four of you have continuously used for the radio show. setting your bag down you start cleaning up the space, trashing old papers left behind, wiping the tables, doing simple tests on the mics to just make sure they work, overall just getting the place ready. you leave jay and jake's stuff mainly untouched, as they have their own way of setting up the lights, mic sensitivities, and what all else.

the door opens up behind you as you continue to do tasks around the rooms, not bothering to look at the door, you glance at the clock instead, “hey guys, you’re a bit earlier than when you normally get here.. we still got an hour.. but since you’re here could you,” your voice quiets down as you turn to address whoever was behind you directly, however no one is in the room.

“what the hell,” you mutter out scratching your head, “i swear i heard the door open.”

you quickly scan the room you’re in, checking under the table to see if one of the four decided to fool around a bit. seeing no one under there you move to the other room where jay and jake usually stay in, but no one is seen there either. a sense of unease begins to grow in your stomach but you decide to keep yourself busy by finishing up tasks in the room. printing out the schedule and loose script for the recording, you skim through, making sure you didn’t leave anything out and once satisfied you set the schedules and script in heeseung’s and your spot.

the clock reads 9:27 pm and you sit down on the couch, getting comfortable, getting ready for the other three to walk in at any moment. your phone rings and seeing jake’s contact pop up, you answer.

“hey jake, what’s up, did something happen?”

jake clears his throat on the other side, “y/n! glad you answered, couldn’t get a hold of heeseung, but i told jay already- wait is he there yet?”

“er, no.. well at least i don’t think so.” you scan the room once before playing with the charms on your nails.

“what..?” jake asks, confusion in his tone, “you don’t think so? y/nnie i hate to break it to ya but i think you’d know if someone was in the room with you.”

you let out a puff of air out through your noise in fake annoyance, “yes i’m well aware of that jake sim. but i heard the door open up behind me a little bit ago and i figured it was one of you guys stopping in a little early but no one was there so..”

“well.. i’m sure it’s just your pretty little mind playin tricks then, anyways jay should be there soon though, he left the flat a bit ago- oh right! since he isn’t there i guess i should tell you. i can’t make it tonight, forgot i overscheduled myself with my plans so i have somewhere else i need to be tonight.”

“what? jake why didn’t you say anything earlier today? i mean it’s fine, i got the room mainly all ready anyway but a warning other than being like five minutes before you get here would’ve been nice.” you click your tongue in annoyance to further drive the point in. frankly, you didn’t mind that much but teasing jake a little bit was something you couldn’t pass up.

you hear jake give a dejected sigh and stifle a laugh, “ok listen i know i know, i’ll make it up to you i promise but just this night i can’t make it alright?”

“yeah yeah, you have fun with your plans or whatever.”

jake chuckles, “oh i will, see ya y/n.”

the call ends just as jay walks in, he gives you a little wave and sets his stuff by yours, “here like always, before everyone else is.”

you drum your nails along the couch’s arm rest as you watch jay get situated in the room, “someone has to get everything ready, and it sure ain’t gonna be jake with the way he bailed on us tonight. and we’re lucky if heeseung shows up 10 minutes before we go on air.”

jay lets put a small laugh, “he told you he’d be gone? thought i was gonna have to be the one to tell you.”

“nah he told me, think he’s trying to get a hold of hee right now too.”

“eugh, good luck to him then.”

you raise your eyebrows in understanding, “yeah.. anyhow i printed out the schedules and cleaned everything up so..”

jay sits in his seat and turns to you, “you emailed me my schedule right?”

“yup, did it before i left my apartment.”

“perfect, alright you go get set up and i’ll test your mic and make sure feedback is clear.” upon hearing jay’s words you get up from the couch and move to sit down in your chair, jay gives you a thumbs up and you test your microphone, “test test test.”

jay fiddles around with a few notches and motions with his hand to try once again, “test test test.” you repeat into the microphone, which you receive a thumbs up and lean in your seat. all thats left was to wait for heeseung.

a few minutes later and he walks in, dragging his bag behind him, “woah dude you look like shit.” jay says, looking heeseung up and down.

“this assignment for prof kim is killing me,” heeseung groans out, exasperated, “i swear she wants me dead.”

your jaw drops slightly at the look of heeseung, “have you slept recently?”

heeseung drops his bag with everyone else’s, “just did, i was supposed to work on the assignment, fell asleep, woke up and sprinted over here.”

his hair was all tousled up and his shirt was slightly stained but his jacket managed to cover most of it up and his pants looked as if in some places dust or dirt got smeared onto it.

jay does one more look at heeseung before turning around in his seat, “alright well man, go get situated next, we’ll test your mic.”

heeseung simply nods before walking to his seat next, once jay gives him the go ahead he speaks up in the microphone, “test test.” jay gives the thumbs up to heeseung and you look up at the clock, 9:58 pm, almost time to go live.

you turn to heeseung, “you sure you’re alright? if you’re that tired i can handle doing a night alone.”

hee gives you a small smile, “promise im all good, that nap was like.. one of those ones where you wake up not knowing who you are or where you are kind, so i’m like.. oddly rejuvenated right now. think i could even fight off a werewolf and win.”

blinking once and then twice you look at him and slowly nod your head, “oohhhhhh kay mister tough guy.. whatever you say..”

“you not believing me is not very kind you know.” heeseung frowns, his lips forming a pout.

“i know, oh-! we’re going live.. 3.. 2..”

"welcome welcome welcome toooo SCU 101.85, you’re currently tuning in to the 10 o’clock pm talk show. i’m your host y/n and i’m here with my co-host..” you turn away from the microphone and glance at your co-host, lee heeseung.

“heeseung.” he speaks up into his microphone, shuffling a few of the papers around.

“and it’s currently a friday night, it’s 67 degrees out with a small breeze too so make sure you wear that jacket!” you chirp.

heeseung snorts and you pass him a look which he returns with a shrug, “you just sound chipper.. s’all.”

“ah.. well our ratings have been going up again.. it’s better than we’ve been seeing these past four months.. so.”

the past four months have been rather difficult for you and heeseung and the radio show. when you started this project sophomore year, it had just been you and your roommate kim chaewon, your ratings were steady in the beginning but had started declining after two months, which made your at the time co-host and roommate, quit. you don’t blame her, you nearly stopped too, which was before heeseung hit you up asking if you still needed another co-host.

accepting his help was the best thing you had done, his roommates jake and jay were all about the technical jargon behind running a radio show, which the reasoning was apparently the three had thoughts about starting a podcast but couldn’t get the timing right to actually get it started, so here they were willing to help you out.

production took off and the four of you found yourselves seeing steady viewers and got to even open a talk line, which was a segment that both you and heeseung took seriously, finding fun in chatting with anonymous students with various complaints they had of others, professors, relationships, or whatever else going on in their lives.

then, out of nowhere four months ago, the viewers started thinning out, causing your small team of four’s good feelings to falter. having been used to success it was shocking to be randomly met with a hard wall and seemingly, no way of getting out.

heeseung and your’s efforts were all in vain as you tried advertising the radio talk show, you had chaewon talk to her friends about spreading the show, heeseung talked to about it to his other friends and also had them spread the word. jake would mention it at his part time job, and jay even mentioned it at a small on-campus event, which he texted that he was never doing again out of sheer embarrassment.

heeseung hums, “well.. i could imagine people have been feeling a bit safer because of us, due to…” he trails off.

right, there's been a few recent deaths that have plagued not only your campus, but the town. you claim they’re very obviously murders while heeseung’s been claiming it’s been various unfortunate accidents. so far the death toll has hit only four, two on campus, one at a campus nearby, and one on the outskirts of town.

“the murders.” you finish his sentence off, gravelly.

heeseung rolls his eyes, but remembers that the listeners can’t actually see that, “you’re so obsessed with these being murders,” he teases.

“well.. it’s quite obvious, no?” you ask, tilting your head a little bit.

“ehh, i wouldn’t really say so, besides the two on campus cause they were ruled as a murder-suicide. regardless that was two months ago and the one at KTU was concluded to be an unfortunate accident.. shit what did they say about how she died again?” heeseung racks his brain, trying to remember how the girl from KTU died two weeks ago.

you scatter your papers around, “wasn’t it something about a lab issue..? their school got to close down because of it, that’s.. uh.. kind of all i remember about that.”

“oh you’re going to hell, haven’t you been following this whole thing since the murder-suicide on campus..?” heeseung laughs loudly and you slump in your chair, embarrassment flooding your system.

you sit back up and clear your throat, “in my defense..”

heeseung accusing points at you, “you! don’t have one.”

“pause, yes i do! rude…. my defense is that the fourth one’s been throwing me off with this whole thing, that i focused a little less on the third girl.” you huff out.

the fourth death was the weirdest in the whole thing so far, it happened a few days ago and it’s been the only one where the person involved wasn’t in the same age range and died supposedly.. well.. naturalistically. it had been a middle aged man, who was on his way home from work. apparently the report and the news claimed his tire gotten flat and when he had gotten out to check on it, he had been mauled by a pack of wolves wandering through. 

the police and how they concluded it just didn’t make sense to you, you stayed up for two days trying to determine it all. first, wolves hadn’t been sighted in that area for several months so a random pack coming through didn’t make sense. second, the blood inside the car, how did it even manage to get in there if the man was supposedly outside? the third rea-

heeseung snaps his fingers to try and get your attention back to the talk show, “hey, y/n, quit thinking about it, you’re just gonna make yourself paranoid.. or worse.. really obsessive over this.”

you sigh, biting at your lip as you mull over his words, “my bad, i just need to stay up on all this, our viewers need the information, they deserve the best after all.”

“and the best of the best is from two college seniors..?” heeseung raises an eyebrow.

“absolutely!” you respond, “we’re the only ones giving multiple sides to these events and ways to stay safe.”

“i’m sure the news have been doin all that too though.”

“pff, news schmooze,” you wave your hand at heeseung, “college students don’t care about tuning into the morning news before classes or turning the evening news on, we’re a source of entertainment AND murder mystery, and that’s what eats up.” 

“you’re greedy, y/n, soo greedy.” heeseung shoots a grin your way, a way to let you know he doesn’t mean it.

trying to stop a grin from making its way on your face, you roll your eyes, “oh suck my dick lee heeseung.” 

“gladlyyy..” he sings out, wiggling his eyebrows and chuckles into his microphone.

“you’re a freak..” you gather your papers back up and glance up at the clock, 10:26 pm, time to open up the first talk line segment of the night.

you give a small nod towards heeseung and he nods back and clears his throat, “well well well SCU you are listening on 101.85 and it’s rolling up to 10:30 pm, we got a two minute sponsor for y’all and when we come back live, our callers will be up discussin’ random whatever with us. give us a call at +82 70-5208-6001 and see if you’re lucky enough. again that is +82 70-5208-6001. see you soon.”

both you and heeseung give a thumbs up to the room in front of you and jay switches your sets off, rolling the sponsor. a few seconds pass and before you’re able to turn to heeseung to just casually chat, the switchboard for the phone calls light up, more so than you’ve ever seen before.

turning to heeseung you give him a look of wonder, his eyebrows are furrowed as if hes wondering the same thing you are, why are there so many callers tonight? jay clicks off the sponsor and puts on a jazzy song before stepping into the room, “what’s up with the callers tonight?”

heeseung looks up at jay, “not sure bro, we’re just as confused as you are. we haven’t seen anything like this before.”

the calls keep coming through, lighting up the board until nearly all have popped up, indicating that people are on the line waiting to chat.

jay takes a glance at his set up and back at the two of you and the board, “well you guys got about a minute before we go on air, can’t keep them waiting for too long so just…” he sighs and runs a hand through his hair, “just… i suppose keep their talking segments shorter..? man i wish jake was here right now he could help weed through the callers with me on my end.”

heeseung raises an eyebrow at jay, “he’s not here today at all? i thought he was just late?”

“nah, up and bailed last second, said somethin’ about a date but i think he’s lying.” jay rolls his eyes, “30 seconds, you’re both up soon.”

jay closes the door and you look over at heeseung, frowning “why the hell did he schedule a date during the same time he’s supposed to be here? he told me it was important, not that a date isn’t but i was thinking something with his parents or.. i don’t know..”

heeseung mulls it over for a few seconds, “i mean unless he was planning on bringin her home..”

“dude.”

“it’s jake we’re talking about, y/n.”

“okay, yeah you’re right, well you wanna go first with the calls then..?”

heeseung nods, the on air button lights up and he clicks on a random caller, “hey lucky number one, congratulations you’re on air with us on STU 101.85, what’s your name?”

“hey guys it’s yunjin!” yunjin’s voice is heard through the speaker.

you sit up in your seat a little bit, “oh my god, hey girl! thanks for calling, how you been tonight?” 

“same old same old, prof jeon is an asshole still and said my submitted designs lacks the ‘creative theme’ of what he asked for. the problem is, is that he gave us no theme, aside from it being wearable. so i based it off of 1960’s greek spring chic wear and now he’s denied my third design.”

heeseung nods his head, “we’ve heard from other fashion design majors that prof jeon is the worst, i guess this goes to show to any sophomores and juniors to not finish your semesters as a senior with prof jeon.”

yunjin scoffs, “you could say that again, i wish i took prof song’s class, apparently shes at least nicer with going about denying designs.”

“isn’t she tough to impress though..? i hear her students always come back with lower scores than those who take prof jeon?” you ask, “wouldn’t that be.. worse?”

“oh you’re right.. ugh just don’t be a fashion design major, worst choice ever.”

heeseung lets out a laugh, “alright well we’re gonna let you go and head to the next caller, good luck on the rest of your assignment.”

a hum is heard through the speaker, “yeah i should really get to finish on working with the fourth design, you guys have fun, i’ll still be tuned in too.”

the line clicks and heeseung switches to another caller, “and listeners that was miss yunjin, another senior here at STU, you may have seen her around workin tirelessly at the sewing machines in the fashion department, so send some luck her way for dealing with prof jeon. now we got our next caller with us, you’re on air!”

silence fills the studio and jay looks at you two through the window, mouthing a “the fuck?” and you two shrug, confusion on the both of your faces.

“uh.. dude? you there?” heeseung looks annoyed as he shuffles around in his seat.

more silence fills the room and now you can also feel annoyance creep into your body, “hey, listen if you’re not gonna talk we’ll move on. not sure if you stepped away from your phone at all or what kind of prank you’re trying to pull but you can cut it out, it’s not funny and it just holds us and everyone else up.”

“..01101000,” a gravelly, raw voice crackles through.

heeseung sits up, “okay i’m changing the caller, you’re a weirdo and can get off our line.”

 the voice continues, “..01100101.. 01101100–”

heeseung cuts the line, cutting the voice off too.

“freak.” you mutter, “what the hell was that?”

heeseung shrugs, “sounded like binary code, probably someone from comp sci deciding to pull a prank on us.”

“well they’re not funny, that was weird and kind of scary.” a shiver runs down your spine as you think about the voice that crackled through, whoever it was managed to perfectly replicate fear in their voice.

“oh don’t worry, i can protect you.” heeseung winks at you.

“i think my chances of survival lay better with jay, hee.” you look down to choose the next caller as heeseung makes a noise of offense, taking your words to heart.

“he would not-”

you connect to the caller, “and you’re the third caller of the night, thank you for spending your night here with us at STU 101.85, may we get your name?”

“uh, yeah hi it’s yang jungwon.. i’m a sports medicine major.”

your eyes lit up in recognition at the name and voice, “oh yeah! you’re on the journalism club right? i’ve seen you there frequently.”

“yeah, thanks for helping us out, y/n. uhm, you know i wasn’t positive that i’d get picked so i guess i’m unsure of how to say this.”

heeseung leans closer to his mic, “what do you mean, jungwon?”

“uh, well it’s just, that last caller and then the mysterious figure on campus is what i wanted to talk to you about."

that made you sit up straighter in your seat and from your glance at heeseung, his interest piqued as well.

“go ahead jungwon, we’re interested and i’m sure all the other listeners are too.” you give the green light for jungwon to essentially take over the whole talking segment.

jungwon takes a deep breath and you can hear some shuffling in the background as he gets ready to speak,“okay well, i’ve been staying late on campus for the last week because i work on the sports section of the campus news website right? and i’m not sure what’s been going on but i’ve noticed this shrouded figure walking late at night. they seem to be following any student late at night leaving the stem building.”

you look up at jay and then over to heeseung, the both of them listening to jungwon’s words intently you look back down at the board as jungwon continues, “i think it’s cause they often stay behind the latest right? i’m not sure, i felt it was better to be here and say it as a warning, in case the man was dangerous.”

heeseung speaks up, “you’re saying something now? didn’t you say it’s been the past week?”

jungwon is silent for a few seconds before breathing out, “okay yeah i figured someone would ask that, honestly i thought it was a prank at first, especially because it was a costume the person was wearing.”

“costume?” you ask, “what sort’ve costume?”

“it was that ghostface costume, you know like the scream movies one?”

“ghostface?” heeseung asks, skepticism in his tone, “you saw a dude in a ghostface costume? in spring?”

jungwon clicks his tongue, “that’s why i didn’t say anything, because it just sounds stupid. i really thought it was just a prank someone was pullin on a friend.”

you nervously pick at your nails as you think about jungwon’s words, “you’re saying something now though aren’t you? what made you change your mind?”

jungwon hesitates before saying anything, “the call.”

you raise an eyebrow, “what’s the call got anything to do with the ghostface random?”

“i.. got a weird call yesterday night, it was the same voice that just called you guys. honestly if i wasn’t seeing the costume dude on campus i wouldn’t have thought much of it or if i wasn’t tuned into the radio show tonight.” 

“why don’t you go to the police or campus security? dude like campus security should and would kick the guy off campus, even if what he’s doing is harmless, he’s being creepy.” heeseung sighs out and rubs his forehead a little.

“i did, they think i’m sleep deprived and seein shit, apparently they can’t find ‘any evidence’ that supports that someone's walking around being weird so they think i just need more sleep.”

“what about that phone call? isn’t it logged?” you’re honestly a bit worried for jungwon, something weird is happening, the murders, the calls, and the shrouded costume ghostface guy.

jungwon speaks a bit faster, trying to get all the information he can into the hands of however many people are listening, “thought it was, i re-called the number two days ago and it just immediately disconnects, then the number was gone from my phone yesterday. poof up and deleted from my call log.”

“oh what the hell..” you breathe out, heeseung looks pale as he listens to jungwon’s words.

“dude.. does that not remind you of the damn scream movies? like at least in some way?” heeseung shakingly asks, “it literally sounds like you’re being hunted jungwon.”

a clang is heard and a quiet “fuck” before some shuffling, “sorry dropped my phone, you kinda freaked me there with that heeseung.” jungwon lets out a sardonic laugh.

you turn to heeseung and lightly smack his arm, “no for real, why would you say some shit like that.”

heeseung splutters, “well.. like does it not? i don’t want to sound grave or mean about this right now but genuinely this shit sounds like jungwon is in danger.”

“not helping, dude.” jungwon speaks into his phone, voice low.

“no he’s got a point jungwon. with what hee’s talking about, you could really be in some serious danger. i mean a famous point of scream was the calls to the victims and if you’re really seeing someone run around in the ghostface costume..” you trail off unable to voice the rest of your concerns aloud.

“well thanks for helping me out you two,” the sarcasm in jungwon’s voice is clear and you flinch out of guilt. you didn’t mean to freak jungwon out a bit more, he really wanted to just warn people on campus who were out late. “regardless thanks for warning everyone on this, listeners tell your friends or if you know of any late night students, tell them they should be careful on campus now if they’re out late, just in case. jungwon this goes for you too you know?”

“yeah i know, i’m already off campus now so i should be fine.”

heeseung picks at his jacket’s sleeves, “still man, sounds like you gotta keep yourself safe anywhere.”

“i will, thanks for letting me stay for a while longer than you normally let your callers on.” from the background noise going on in jungwon’s call it sounds like someone coming in through his door, “i’ll go ahead and get going now, my roommate brought food and we’re gonna eat, thanks for having me guys!”

jungwon ends the call and you glance up at the clock which reads 11:07 pm, “alright we have time for one more caller, normally we’d have ended this by 11:00pm and done another segment at 11:30pm as you are all aware but i guess we’ll just have one long talk segment today. heeseung you wanna do the honors for the last lucky caller.”

heeseung nods and clicks on the next caller, “lucky number four, you are live with us at STU 101.85, you get to be the last call of the night with us, anything on your mind that you’d like to chat with us about?” heeseung and you are met with heavy breathing into the phone’s microphone. 

“hello..?” you call out tentatively and heeseung groans out beside you, “alright i’m really getting sick of the people who decide to prank us.”

the breathing stops abruptly at heeseung’s words and your breath hitches in the back of the throat. you’re unsure as to why the caller made you nervous, heeseung is right, prank calls have been weirdly often tonight, this was the second one of the night after all. heeseung’s hands reach to change the caller and that’s when a weird low static sounding voice filters through, “don’t hang me up, lee heeseung.”

heeseung stops his movement’s mid way and your head whips into his direction quickly, the voice continues, “why don’t you put your hand back down. we’re going to chat.” heeseung quickly obliges and fear has overtaken everyone in the room, jay from where he is, is even frozen from the voice.

“much better. thank you for having me on your lovely radio show. you know, i’m not exactly the happiest at having been the last caller, but i suppose only the best are chosen as the final right?” the voice takes a shaky breath before continuing, “y/n,” you freeze as your name comes out, “don’t you think being the final one is best too..?”

you don’t answer, unsure if that’s the best course of action, you just can’t bring yourself to say any words at this moment, but the mysterious caller decides he’ll make you answer, “answer me y/n. you get to choose the fate of someone very important tonight after all.”

your blood runs cold at his words, eyes shaking and tears even start to brim, you stutter out, “what.. what do you mean?”

“i’m so glad you asked honey, let’s bring out my special guest out.” the sounds of a muffled cry and cloth are heard before jake’s voice faint and hoarse comes out of the phone, “let us go man, just please let us go.”

you gasp loudly, heeseung slams his fist down at the table, and jay upon hearing jake’s voice runs into the room, a look you’ve never seen before on his face, either of their faces. jay looks like he may faint yet angry while heeseung looks as if he’s never experienced anger in the way he’s had before.

“i’m sure you know now who is with me.” the voice chuckles and you can hear some crying from a girl as well in the background, “i managed to get a two for one deal tonight for you all.”

“the fuck do you want with us?” heeseung grits out and the caller laughs.

“it’s not so what i want with your group, it’s what i want done with you, lee heeseung.”

heeseung’s bravado falters slightly, “what are you talking about? what could i offer you?”

“i wanna know why.. scratch that i think.. everyone here tonight deserves to know why actually, about the things you’ve done for your beloved radio show.”

you slowly turn your head to heeseung and he’s pale, hands slightly shaking, “hee? what is this guy talking about?”

heeseung looks up at you, pupils blown wide in fear and you feel your heart break at how scared he is, you know you’re not much better either, “i.. i don’t know, this doesn’t make any sense, i.. there’s.. i don’t know.” he’s panicking and you reach over to grab his hand to calm him down some. his hands are clammy but given the situation you understand, you squeeze and he squeezes back.

the voice scoffs, “oh please, get that fake shit out of my face. heeseung knows what he did sweetheart and if i were you i would think twice about holding his hands when all they know are acts of violence.”

jay speaks up before you have the choice to ask what they meant, “i’m calling the police, sick freak.”

“ah ah ah..” the caller tuts out, “if any of you three call the police, your beloved pal jake is getting gutted. i’ll even string out his body parts so prettily for you. send some lovely pictures, y/n you’d appreciate my art for you? right?”

you frankly feel like throwing up and you shake your head frantically, “no.. no..”

the caller lets out a cackle and speaks in a mocking tone, “aww… poor thing is so scared, heeseung why don’t you comfort your poor girl, after all you’ve done sooooo much for her.”

“fuck. off.” heeseung snarls out, hand not holding yours gripping the table and the strength behind it shocks you.

“no fun, either of you, jay’s always been a bit boring anyways, wanting the police involved in our fun so early. however i’m aware we are live.. so i guess we should speed things up. besides jake here i have someone important to jay here. say hello to jay.”

the sobbing girl is heard more clearly and the pit in your stomach is ever growing, the feeling of vomiting coming back tenfold, “why.. why are you doing this.. please i never did anything to you, please please please, let me go i won’t say anything. please j-”

a loud bang and a shriek is heard and jakes voice is screaming, “stop! stop just let her go, man. what is wrong with you?!”

some more shuffling and the caller is heard better, “what’s wrong with me? me..? you were the one who brought your dear friend’s ex out on a date.”

jay slams his hands on the table, leaning forward, “my EX? you were out with fucking yujin?”

more sobs from yujin, you suppose, comes through the phone, “i’m sorry, i’m so sorry, i wanted to make you jealous. i wanted you back, that was it i’m sorry i’m so sorry.”

rubbing his jaw, jay paces around the room, shouting out a “fuck” and slamming his fist against the wall, “jay! this isn’t the time! this asshole WANTS us to act like this, you’re playing into his hands!” heeseung calls out, standing up quickly, “he WANTS you to get angry, he’s enjoying this.”

“yeah?” jay spins around and lets out a shaky laugh, “really? and how do you know that heeseung? you know this guy or something? i wouldn’t be surprised considering you’ve got some fucking secrets of your own now.” jay jabs at heeseung’s chest and he stumbles back in surprise.

you put your head in your hands and yell, “stop! just stop you two! a sadistic killer has jake and yujin and you’re fighting?! what the fuck. just what the fuck?!”

“yeahh.. you two, what the fuck..?” the voice giggles, “you should be more like y/n and focus on the two that’s with me. maybe you can make y/n’s job easier and help her with her choice.”

your whip your head up, tears streaming down your face, “what the hell do you mean help you, you sick fuck?!”

“that’s not very kind now baby… and i mean helping me choose who i kill for everyone tonight of course.”

oh. oh no. no no no no no. absolutely not, you would not choose that, there’s no way you could bring yourself to do that. you shakingly look at the board and whimper out a “no” which the caller barks out a laugh in return, “i’m afraid it’s non negotiable. if you don’t.. i choose at random then and the other person lives with the information that they were saved because of me! or… i just kill both.”

the two men in the room with you freeze at the information they’re hearing, heeseung slowly walks to you, pushes your mic away and crouches down to your level, putting his hands around your body to help the tremors going through your body, he rubs your back soothingly and jay’s jaw clenches as he angrily blows air out of his nose.

heeseung lowly whispers into your ear, “it’s okay y/n.. you.. you gotta do it.. you can do this.. make the choice.. it’s easy right..? you don’t know yujin.. jake needs to be saved y/nnie. jay will understand.. yujin cheated on him anyways.”

you’re not sure why heeseung is calmly telling you this information, you’re not sure why jay won’t look at you directly, you’re not sure why it has to be you that makes this choice, but as heeseung whispers more into your ear about how you can do it and he believes you’d make the right choice you start thinking that doesn’t matter and heeseung’s right. jake needs to be saved. jake is your friend. you don’t know yujin. yujin was a bad girlfriend to jay. you don’t question heeseung’s whispers, you don’t question heeseung at all.

“jake..” you quietly mutter out.

“what was that? i couldn’t hear you..?” the killer sings out and you almost throw up for what feels like the thirteenth time that night.

“jake..!” you speak up a little louder and heeseung squeezes your body comfortingly, “i choose to save jake.”

yujin screams in anguish and you flinch in guilt. “excellent choice, y/n. saving your friends.. how heroic.” the killer praises and you put your head in the crook of heeseung’s neck, wishing this nightmare would just end, he just rubs your back, but you miss the grin he sends jay’s way.

the phone is set down and you can hear yujin plead for her life with the killer, “i just did what you wanted! you said.. you said j- no no stop don’t come any closer i swear i swear no one will know. let me go please. please. i’m sorry,” she cries louder and starts pleading to you all, “jay please.. convince her to save me. jay please we can be happy again. no. no. no! NO! JA–”

the wet sounds of a knife meeting flesh is loud, yujin’s cries become louder and you breakingly sob into heeseung’s shoulder, he grips your body stronger and continues to rub your back. the squelch noise of multiple stabs into yujins poor body ring in your ears. her choked back sobs and cries as her throat fills with her blood causes your sobs to bellow out even louder, heeseung whispers that everything’ll be alright, his constant whispering so soothing you try to focus on them instead of yujin’s dying noises.

it feels like an eternity later but the noises quiet down and all that’s left is silence in the room and the killer’s heavy breathing. “thank you, for allowing me the opportunity to give you and your listeners a show.”

more silence fills the room and you can hear jay’s footsteps in the background pacing once more but you don’t dare look up, an irrational fear that the killer is in the room with you playing in your mind.

heeseung’s eyes darken as he looks down at your shaking body, the small whimpers you let out ignites a fire in his body that he’s only ever gotten killing others and he has stop the smile from forming on his face as he thinks how quick you were to just trust him. his eyes flicker towards jay as he turns off the equipment in the radio show, jay nods once everything is off and they’re no longer live.

the voice speaks up once more and your body stills, having believed the killer dropped the call, “you’re always so sweet y/nnie. so so so kind. the best player for our games. sweet dreams.”

you slowly lift your head in confusion but a small pinch to your neck makes your head drop back down, your eyes blearing together as the only thing you can make out is heeseung’s necklace and white shirt, the feeling of his steady breathing and whatever just stung you luring you into the dark and away from the sick and twisted situation.

[faewoozi]

streetlights in the dark blue --- 18+

summary: you met seokmin in college, and in the beginning you were pretty sure you'd strangle him. but then he asked you out. everyone said marrying the goofy guy you met freshman year of college was insane. that someone better would come along for the both of you. by senior year you hated to admit that perhaps everyone had been right. since he just…disappeared. like you didn't mean anything to him. maybe you never did.

♡ pairing: theater major!dk x fem!reader

♡ genre: non!idol au, college into post college au, fluff, angst, some slight supernatural/sci-fi elements, smut ( probably more fluff than anything else though because dk really brings that out in me & angst because I have a crying myself to sleep at night kink )

♡ word count: roughly 8.5k or so

♡ this work feats: piv sex, unprotected sex, angst, some crying, being ghosted, oral ( giving and receiving ), fingering. let me know what i missed.

a/n: i was listening to abstract (psychopomp ) by hozier and i know it's about roadkill and all that but something about the lyrics + general tone of the song made me think of this. and who better to love you across the universe than lee seokmin? also now I have an idea for Hoshi x telepathy so this might become a thing. also i proofread this like once. so there's that.

"I'm Seokmin." You glanced up from your physiology book at the tall guy hovering near the edge of your table in the library. It was raining outside so the place was packed, where normally people would be studying on the plush lawns of the quad, they were all crowded inside whispering loudly and laughing louder. You'd rather be anywhere else but your roommate had a guy over and the common rooms were even more crowded with people. At least here in the library people were pretending to study, so if it got too loud you could tell them to hush within reason.

"Uh…so?" You hadn't meant for it come out so harsh. The ear splitting grin he wore slowly melted from his face and an awkward silence threatened to overtake you both but he just licked his lips and sat down leaning across the table conspiratorially and to your surprise not deterred at all.

"This is the part where you tell me your name." Seokmin said waving his hand in front of him. Was he serious? You didn't even know him.

"My name is please go away you're distracting me from studying." You responded reaching for your phone to turn your music up in the one headphone you wore.

"Nice to meet you, can I call you distraction for short? I just need a table to sit at. I was sitting with my friends but I'm gonna flunk this monologue thing if I stay over there any longer. I thought this might be the place to sit in order to memorize my monologue and it’s like the only empty table around here which is kind of weird. Because why has no else tried to sit here? Oh well. Hey if I'm bothering you I can leave." Wow he was talking, a lot. Your brow furrowed as you stared him down and slowly his chattering fizzled out. He pursed his lips, gave a small smile and opened the chapbook on the table in front of him purposefully avoiding your gaze. 

“In a week…when the flesh grows cold…” Two minutes in and you realized he was reading the words aloud to himself. You glanced up irritably from your book ready to snap at him but took notice of his red rimmed eyes and blatant sniffling as he continued to read in a whispery shaky voice.

"Are you crying?" You questioned in disbelief and he jumped, staring at you wide eyed and then he burst into nervous laughter.

"We're doing romance scenes for my monologue class. Some of the examples in this book are just so ugh…read this." He pushed the chapbook over to you, and your eyes ghosted along the first few lines of the page.

"I have a confession. I've never been in love. So I'm really going to have to tap into the acting for this assignment, and I don't know, the idea of loving someone so much that you'd rather lie down in a field and rot with them instead of being apart is…it's nice. It’s heartwarming. It seems morbid, but the real romance of it is that there's someone out there who'd hold my hand and leap into the unknown with me because if this guy can be so inspired as to write out such a thing then he can’t be the only one who finds romance in that right? Whether through death or something else…ah that's it I definitely have to memorize and read this one." He said with a wistful sigh, you stared at him. Clearly he was a sap but…sort of cute once you got past how much he was annoying you in the moment. Or maybe annoy was the wrong word, he was passionate. Unusual too and God could he talk, but he made it endearing somehow.

"Do you need help?" You asked, not entirely sure what had gotten into you. It's just, he said it all so sweet, and who wouldn't be a sucker for those shimmering brown eyes and ears he hadn't grown into yet? Who could hear words said by such a sweet voice and not have their heart flutter for just a second. You weren’t a monster after all.

As if to drive the point home his face lit up. He was all happy smiles and babbling excitedly about how much help he could use and how he couldn't thank you enough. Somehow you ended up in his dorm room out of the rain and the loud library because he was too embarrassed to practice in front of anyone. Which…sort of defeated the purpose but you decided not to tell him that, and somehow it wound up being one of the best nights of your college experience so far. Just him and you, reading romantic monologues together.

It was impossible to forget how after everyone he read he'd stare you down and ask in a completely serious tone. “Okay how did that one make you feel?"

At first you’d sort of shrug. But he wasn’t satisfied with that as an answer. “Do you feel moved when you hear me say it? Is it romantic or do I sound like an idiot? You have to give me constructive feedback because when I read this for my professor I want her to be a little bit in love with me afterwards or at least teary eyed. Then I know I’ve done a good job. Let’s go again!”

It went on for at least two hours and each time your feedback got better and better. Until finally he knelt down in front of you, your hand in his and said the words with so much conviction you were dumbfounded for a moment.

“Alright, how did that make you feel?” Seokmin asked still holding your hand, while catching his breath.

“Well. I guess it sort of felt like I was falling in love." You responded, heat creeping along the back of your neck.

“Really?!” He whooped in excitement. It didn't mean anything, or it wasn't supposed to mean anything. He was just someone you helped and now you knew him well enough to say hi around campus. But two weeks later after exchanging numbers and giving him your actual name, you returned to his dorm to find the place filled with flowers. His friends were holding signs, there was a whole song and dance number, all to ask you out. How he managed it so quickly you still don't know. But it had been enough, this sappy goofball was yours. And you were his.

"World's best distraction can I ask a favor?" Seokmin asked. You were laying on your bed in your brand new private dorm room. A room you'd snuck him in and out of no less than five times this week despite only just having moved in. He still had a roommate and most of the time Joshua kicked him out in sheer annoyance. In which case Seokmin would slink over to your building and pout until he was let in. It was way past “no visitors in the dorm” hours but you had managed to work out a system. If you timed it just right, you could get him out and have your RA none the wiser.

“If it’s about staying the night, no.” You replied highlighting a few definitions you wrote down in your notes earlier for class.

“You’re so mean. Who doesn’t want their boyfriend to spend the night?” Seokmin asked rolling over on the bed so that his face was smothered by one of your pillows.

“I don’t want to accidentally end up pregnant when I haven’t finished school yet.” You replied lowering your notes to stare at him being utterly dramatic.

“They make things to prevent that y’know….” He mumbled, voice sulky and childish.

“Have you met yourself? You’re literally so romantic it’s terrifying. Yesterday you wrote me a soliloquy about my hands. My freakin’ hands Min. This morning you kissed me twenty five and a half times, you did it again this afternoon and again an hour ago. You said you owed me because I made you happy 102 times last week but since we had class you couldn’t do all 102 at once. If I get anywhere near you while naked I’m liable to get you pregnant with how much love you have bursting out of you.”

“I still owe you the last twenty five and a half. I can start now?” Seokmin’s head popped up, his voice hopeful.

“Min…” He slumped back into the bed with a dramatic sigh.

“I’m sorry. That day when we first met and you were helping me with my monologues — all that romantic stuff. The sweeping kisses and loving poems, the impassioned expressions and worship of lovers. I was saying it all while staring at you. I was memorizing it all with your face etched in my brain as I said it, with your voice helping me along. And your smile kept making my heart skip a beat. So whenever I think about love, about having someone make me feel how all those epic sweeping grand monologues described —- it’s hard to keep it to myself. Because you are love personified in my brain I gue— oh!”

Seokmin yelped as you tugged him backwards onto his back. Before he could fully react your lips were pressing against his. His eyes went wide then completely relaxed as he leaned into the kiss. You pulled apart eventually, gasping for air. You realized with a start you were straddling him, his body very much responding to the intensity of your kiss.

“I love you.” He suddenly blurted out with wide eyes. He’d said it in a lot of different ways and gestures but he’d never said it like that before. It meant something wholly different when he uttered it now.

“Was there ever any doubt Min? You wrote me a thirty three page love letter last weekend and still had time to sticky note my car all over.” You teased leaning down to press your lips to his neck. “I love you too.” You murmured into his skin.

He took hold of your arms pushing you back to look you in the eye. He was slightly red, his hair mussed and his eyes shone with desire.

“Let me stay the night?” He pleaded, his eyes searching yours. You grinned.

“Ok.”

“How many kids do you want?” Seokmin asked lacing your fingers together. You two were cuddled up on the couch in the apartment he shared with his best friend Joshua.

You let out an exaggerated groan. “None right now. Or ever if you ask me again, that’s like five times today? What’s wrong with you?”

“I want to marry you so I thought I should start asking important questions.” Seokmin responded casually bringing your knuckles to his mouth and pressing a gentle kiss to them.

“We are literally twenty years old.” Your voice dripped sarcasm, it wasn’t like this was an unfamiliar idea to you. But Seokmin was always like this. Last week you had to gently break it to him that he had to stop giving all his stuff to Joshua, the two of you would not be moving in together. He took it hard for forty minutes then forgot about it as soon as you started holding his hand.

“I’m sorry, I know we’ve talked about how I have to stop doing that. Just, if I know you’re mine then why wait? Cultural convention be damned, so sorry for cursing. But the sentiment still stands. Why delay the inevitable when what we both want is to revel in the company of each other.”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “Are you doing one of those regency plays again? You’re talking weird.”

“Oh, you noticed. Dang I really thought I sold the gentleman scholar thing.” He said with a frown and you found yourself punching him in the arm. “Ow!”

“We talked about this! No shifts in vocabulary, weird accents, or method acting during serious conversations Min.”

“But baby how am I supposed to get better at this if I don’t use authentic situations?” He asked rubbing where you punched him with a pout.

“I’m not acting fodder for you, I’m your girlfriend.” You snapped rising to your feet.

His brow instantly furrowed. “Wait you’re mad at me for real.”

“Yes, I don’t like when you do that. I’m trying to set some boundaries with you about the weird questions and the marriage pressuring and you’re doing accents and playing a role. Instead of being my boyfriend which in those moments you need to be first.”

The hurt was all over Seokmin’s face for just an instant then it went completely neutral. Quite a feat for the most expressive person you knew. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how inconsiderate I was being.” He rose to his feet, suddenly his face was bright but it didn’t quite convince you.

“I’m hungry. I know you’re hungry. I’m going to go get us something to eat I’ll be right back.” He was already grabbing his keys from the table by the door.

“ Wait, Seokmin—“ Nope gone.

Like legitimately gone.

You waited one hour. Five. Ten. Apologetic texts were sent his way.Then angry ones. You went home. Every call went unanswered. Every text unread. Joshua said he hadn’t seen him but nothing of his was missing. Other than him and his car. You waited two days. Four. Eight. Thirteen. Your boyfriend fell off the face of the Earth without so much as a second thought towards you. You were terrified, you and Seokmin had fought before. About serious and silly things, but neither of you held long grudges. Even if he was angry, you knew him. He loved you. If you knew nothing else you knew this. He showed it in every single gesture, in every word and every action. He wouldn’t do this. Panic set in. Police stations and reports. Trying to question his parents but they were missing too. Their numbers blanked and their facebooks were archived. It was all so strange, had he been in witness protection or something this whole time?

Sixteen days. Akin to torture. Sleeping was impossible because you couldn’t stop worrying. Nothing about him for as long as you’d known him said he would do something like this. So you tossed and turned nightly, obsessing over every minor detail. He’d never done anything like this to you or anyone else you knew after some investigation. You were frantic and so had just decided to take a drastic course of action. Going up to his parents house. At least it would confirm something, but you had no idea if that would be good or bad.

You didn’t get the chance. Day seventeen and someone was beating hell against your door. You’d been on your own since last year not quite ready to leave the dorms, so whoever it was would have a ton of pissed folks at them if they didn’t stop.

You trudged to the door, yanking it open in irritation. And there he was. He looked…inconsolable. He kept trying to apologize through tears. He said it at least four dozen times. You were overwhelmed with relief. Anger didn’t come, not yet. You were just glad he was breathing and unscathed. You took his face into your hands frowning.

“Where did you go?”

“Doesn’t matter. Just let me stay here with you. In whatever way you’ll have me. Even if you hate me I’ll be okay just knowing you’re okay. We don’t have to get married soon. We can get married when we’re sixty eight if you want. Whatever you want. I’ll do whatever you want. Just keep me here with you.” He kept repeating it over and over, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into a tight hug. Impossible to reassure and he wore his guilt openly. Yet he still wouldn’t tell you the truth.

“I’m so happy!” Seokmin sang doing some old folksy shuffle. He was in some play set during the 1930s and had taken to method acting at random moments throughout the day.

“Please don’t do that weird shuffle dance while holding my box of bras.” You complained. Seokmin was in the process of gathering the last of your wardrobe from your dorm room, you had chosen to move in together this summer.

“I can’t help it. I have so much stuff I want to do together! We’ve never stood at the toaster watching our pop tarts cook while holding hands so I have that as number one on my list for tomorrow. Today I think the number one thing I have is…wait never-mind.”

“No, no, no if I have to hold hands while toasting pop tarts you have to tell me what the number one thing is today?” You mused. Seokmin rolled his eyes and then hid his face behind the bra box.

“Taking a shower together. We’ve never done that before.” You heard him mumble sheepishly.

“How were you planning on asking me that?!” You asked trying to hold back your laughter.

“I thought maybe I’d just take my shirt off and you’d be so turned on you’d follow me in there or something.” He shrugged nudging past you to drop the bra box into his backseat.

“That—I told you I really don’t like when you hang out with Soonyoung he’s the worst influence.” You teased.

“He gives solid advice! He was the one who suggested me broaching the subject of moving in together again and you agreed! So really this is all because of Soonyoungie, we owe him.”

You did a fake gagging noise. “Please don’t ever say that again.”

Seokmin shrugged. “Anyway are you ready to go home?” He asked waggling his eyebrows. You rolled your eyes but you were just as excited as he was. No more slumber parties for the two of you, you’d be entering into the real deal of cohabitation and you were looking forward to all the first you would enjoy together. But you were also a bit nervous.

Things with Seokmin were great but they could be better. You were still struggling with trusting him sometimes, ever since the seventeen day incident — in which he gave absolutely no logical explanation for his decision to ghost you for two and a half weeks. You tried to be as reassuring as you could that he could tell you the truth but he didn’t budge on it. Which allowed paranoia to creep in on your end, what was he hiding? But it happened over a year ago and nothing like that had ever happened again. Leaving your side seemed to be the last thing he wanted to do.

The bulk of the day went on and you were exhausted by the time evening rolled around. How he managed to have so much energy despite lugging boxes all day was beyond you but it was in his nature. While you were fighting for your life to stay awake he was literally prancing around the living room with your bra on his face pretending to be fly people as if he hadn’t been doing physical labor all day.

And of course you loved him for it.

“Can I fuck you baby?” Seokmin was pressed up against you, his mouth on your ear. His hand was on your hip and inching forward to the seam of your panties. You glanced at the clock — 3:22 am. You didn’t remember falling asleep and you had no idea if Seokmin had even been in bed when you got in. But he was now. You could feel his cock pressed against your butt as he kissed down the side of your neck. “You’re tired I know, I’m just really happy you’re here with me.”

“I’m happy too. I’m glad we finally did this.” You responded trying very hard to ignore him creeping even closer to you somehow. You were certain if he could live inside you permanently he wouldn’t hesitate. Bye theater career I have a body to infest. You let out a soft giggle and he pulled back.

“What? Are you laughing at me?” He asked sitting fully upright. “You’re just so pretty. But we don’t have to — just we didn’t get that shower together earlier because you snuck in while I was gone  — but that’s okay. You being rested and happy is more —“ 

You rolled your eyes, grabbing him by the ratty t-shirt he wore to bed, interrupting his probably too long “whatever you want” speech and pulled him between your legs. It was rare that you got to return the favor by catering to him for once, no one loved harder than Seokmin. He got you the best gifts every major holiday, he always had something new he loved about you ( last week he said he’d never seen anyone drink liquids as sexy as you did ). He was the current manager, supervisor, president and ceo of romantic gestures and the scariest part was how genuine it was. In the beginning when you first started dating you were positive you were being love bombed. But Seokmin just didn’t do love halfway. He was all in at all times and the things he wanted in return were so subtle.

He craved intimacy and closeness like a toddler sometimes. Always needing to be touching, grabbing, holding, and so on. But nothing quite got to him like sex did. It was how Seokmin came undone. You weren’t a sex goddess by any means but he easily made you feel like one just by nature of being irrevocably in love with you.

Seokmin cups your face and lowers himself  down to kiss you. “Are you trying to impress me by using one arm to kiss me?” You ask teasingly.

Seokmin nods. “Yes, I do one armed push ups better than Joshua now, is it working?”

You pull him into another kiss, and only when he’s good and red in the face do you let up. “Definitely.”

You kiss him again and he lets out a little hum of delight as he kisses you back.  He keeps one hand on your cheek, but then he’s wrapping the other around your waist holding you closer to him even if it’s uncomfortable. You press in, your tongue teasing his, as the swell of your breasts push against his chest. He sinks his hand into your hair, fingers gripping, as he tips your head back, devouring your mouth. It’s been nearly four years together. Seokmin has kissed you thousands of times in hundreds of ways—quick kisses in the car, slow morning kisses while lying in bed, hurried kisses in a dingy bar bathroom. Each one is precious. But they aren’t his favorite.

His favorite kisses are the ones he claims while he’s inside you. He told you once that he craves the feeling of home that comes from feeling you everywhere all at once—under his body, around his dick, cradling his hips, in his mouth, gripped in his hands. That feeling of knowing your so completely his. More than being his, he’s yours. Irrevocably. Completely. The kisses he gives you in the heat of your passion are a claiming as much as they’re an offering. In those moments, he swears he’s giving you everything. Every piece of him. And he always promises that you can have it all.

“I need to be inside you,” He pants against your lips, gripping tighter to your hair. “I’m going to die if I can’t. Look at you.” He tugs your t-shirt up over your head exposing your breasts. He pulls his own off and shimmies out of his boxers. He curls a finger into the waistband of your underwear and tugs them down past your ankles discarding them on the floor.

His thumb slides through your pussy, spinning a circle on your clit. “I love you so much.” He scoots himself down until he’s half hanging off the bed but now he’s eye level with your lower half. His head drops, the pointed tip of his tongue mirroring the motion of his thumb. Your head falls back, hands to his dark hair. You moan. “Everything about you is so beautiful.” He murmurs.

You don’t even bother trying to talk. There’s no point. All your words disappear when his finger slides into you. After a few gentle thrusts, he adds a second finger. Your back arches off the bed in a silent plea for more. You want more, more, more. Then his mouth is on you and you’re having an out-of-body experience. Like you’re being consumed. Like he can’t get enough. Seokmin’s teeth graze your clit and you jolt on the bed, vision blurring.

“Fuck!” He pushes a finger in to work with his tongue and you’re a writhing, whimpering mass of limbs. “Min. I . . . oh my god. Fuck. That’s . . .” You can’t string a coherent sentence together. The only thing you keep asking for is, “More.” And when he adds a second finger, mouth suctioned onto your clit while he impales you roughly, more is what you get. Within a matter of minutes, you have an orgasm at the hands of the most infuriating and adoring man you’ve ever met. How could you not love him?

“It’s not enough.” Seokmin whines. He rolls off the bed and then he’s grabbing you by the ankles pulling you from warmth to the chill on the edge of the bed. He comes to stand between your legs and despite his eagerness to touch you, his face is as gentle and loving as always.Your hand reaches up, and trembling fingers gently trail over his stomach, tracing his abs, tracking the V-line that runs down to his groin. You watch as he shivers, taking hold of his cock in his hand and gives it a few quick pumps.

“Baby…can you open your mouth?” He asks and it’s almost shy. But it’s not really a question. Not from him, and not like this. You give him a hard time because you buckle under the weight of his devotion occasionally but you would do anything he asked you to. Your wide eyes turn up to him, and your lips part. He traces them with the head, watching a drop of pre-cum smear over your top lip. Watching your tongue dart out, like you’re dying to taste him, before opening your mouth wide again. You didn’t mean for it to be so sensual, but it undoes Seokmin. His control, his kindness and gentleness snaps. He takes two fistfuls of your hair and pushes his cock between your lips. You hum in satisfaction, watching your boyfriend shiver as the sound vibrates through him. His body clenches as he withdraws and then he plunges in again. It’s heaven having your warm mouth all around him, your tongue swirling, hands roaming over his torso as he controls your head.

Your gaze flits up to Seokmin and he’s staring hard at you, full of fire. Want. Desire.  Your mouth goes down farther and farther, hands gripping his ass. You swallow him deeply because you can’t get enough. His eyes are getting glassy, and he catches himself, immediately withdrawing from your mouth. Barely contained pleading dips into his voice.

“Just…please…” Seokmin for, if I’m not inside you within the next twenty seconds I will lose my mind. You know it well, know him better than anyone it feels like. All the little intricacies that make up the man you’re going to marry one day.

You lick your lips, and then he’s flipping you over, lifting your hips so your ass is in the air. He swipes through your wetness, watching the way your back arches, your knees slipping wider on the bedspread. You’re soaked for him and now he knows it.

He swipes again. A shiver races down your spine. Your pussy throbs. Your hips rotate and you push yourself at him. “Min please, I need — “

“This?” He slides in an inch, your mouth pops open as you manage to moan around the word yes. Your body vibrates with need. His body does it too. You can feel it. “This too?” He pushes in further, you fingers scrabble at the sheets twisting into the fabric. “It’s my favorite when you take all of me.” He pushes all the way in until he’s completely seated inside you.

“Fuck, yes,” you hiss, dropping to your elbows while he takes a hold of your hips. “Move, please move.” You whine. Your pants coming even like a drumbeat.

“Anything for you.” He whispers, pulling out and slamming back in. Your body bows, and your moans turn to screams as he hits a steady rhythm. Your groans mix with the wet sound of your bodies crashing against each other. He tugs your hair. You spread your legs further. He pushes your head into the bed. You chant his name. He squeezes your  throat, kisses your neck, bites your back. You take it all, still chanting his name.

Your hips, your back, your legs—every move you make is designed to get closer to him. To take it deeper. Harder. It’s never quite enough. Not for Seokmin, never for Seokmin.

“Just a little more.” His voice is wrecked, he’s hyper focused now, angling himself slightly so he can get as close and as deep as anatomy allows. “You have no idea how stunning you look, taking all of me. How good you feel. You’re the love of my life,” He grinds out as he thrust in and out of you again. You buck beneath him chasing the pleasure coiling in your stomach. The bed dips and you see he has a knee on it now. This shifts the pressure, the stimulation hits you hard and suddenly your leg is shaking as your orgasm builds. Everything tightens as you clench around him and then you can tell Seokmin is tumbling off that same cliff with you in this moment. His cock pulses inside you as you grip him tight before your legs give out and you both crumble onto the bed. A mess of sweat, weak limbs, and breathless touches.

He pulls you into his arms. His lips press against your temple.

“I know I say it a lot, so it loses its meaning sometimes. But y/n there is no place that you can go that I won’t follow.  No world where my heart doesn’t explode at the thought of you. I am unable to not love you. I can’t stop it. I can’t change it. I can’t be anything but yours forever.”

You have no idea what else he babbled. You were asleep within minutes the last words to him telling him that you of course felt the same. 

“Y/n please wake up. Please I have to tell you something. Please before I disapp —“

You shift in the bed. Was Seokmin just trying to wake you up? You roll over, the sheets are ruined, they definitely need to be washed. But he isn’t in bed. You yawn reaching for your phone. It’s later in the day than you thought. Almost 11am. Seokmin is not a late sleeper but he’ll let you sleep as long as he can keep himself quiet.

But there’s no noise in your new apartment. He’s not capable of being this silent. Did he go get breakfast? Or did he have something he needed to do for classes? You don’t have a message and he always leaves a message but he’s only human. You text him and there’s no immediate answer. Slightly frustrating but when he was free he’d respond.

Three hours and nothing. Three hours and you’re slightly pissed. Those old hurts are rising to the surface, it’s his own fault. He makes himself so available, there’s a text for when he’s arrived at every destination. He’s constantly narrating over the phone everything he’s doing or where he’s going. He tells you everything, well almost everything. Something niggles at the back of your mind. And you glance over to the other side of the bed after you’ve gone back in to change the sheets. Seokmin keeps his phone in the nightstand drawer. You don’t want to, you shouldn’t —- but you pull it open. His phone is there, all the notifications from you blinking a hello. You frown. Seokmin doesn’t forget his phone, ever. He likes to document everything — he sends you the most meaningless pictures sometimes. He says it’s like being together.

And he doesn’t have it. Your heart beats faster in your chest. You throw on a jacket and a pair of shorts rushing out of your apartment to the balcony. His car is still there. Parked next to yours. He’s not in it. Or around it. Immediately you’re texting his friends. Joshua, Jeonghan, Soonyoung. No one has heard anything but no one is worried either. They’re used to not hearing from him, because they’re used to losing track of him when he’s with you. It’s common they reply. But he’s not with you. You haven’t seen him since four in the morning.

Panic is setting in. Somewhere in the back of your mind those seventeen days niggle. They poke and prod and mock you. It’s happened before. It’s happening again.

Where did he go?

three years later.

In the end none of it mattered. He didn’t want to be found wherever he was. No amount of hounding the police, no amount of pushing the story on the news, or shouting outside of offices worked. In the end the matter was simple. There was no law that said he couldn’t leave. No law that said he couldn’t shatter your heart into fucking pieces as it suited him.

Oh it had been devastating in the beginning. You had an apartment you could only half afford, and his phone which held no secrets. In fact almost everything in it seemed mundane or focused on you. You had his car which you sold illegally to break the lease on the apartment eventually. And still nothing. You went to visit his parents and they were gone…again. Joshua swore it had to be witness protection. Everyone did. Because the only constant they could predict about Seokmin was that he’d never leave you. He’d rather die. Bullshit. 

You cried a lot. Screamed. Tried to have a one night stand with Soonyoung that ended with him embarrassingly driving you home and vowing to never speak of you attempting to jump him again. His response was that Seokmin would kill him. The same Seokmin that had basically ghosted you for six months at that time. But Soonyoung didn’t care, because wherever he was he had no choice. He would never leave you.

And you were sick of hearing that. Sick of hearing about his dedication to you. About his love. Eventually you avoided his friends altogether. It was too hard. Jeonghan would tell a joke, the kind that Seokmin would’ve loved. The kind he would’ve imitated to everyone he knew and later to you even though you’d been right there hearing it as well. They were his closest friends. They were angry with him but their hearts weren’t broken. No one wanted to hate him with you, they couldn’t.

You had to start over. After college you moved as far away as you could. You didn’t bother to keep in touch with anyone other than your own friends. No sense in letting his friends think you were holding out hope. You lost that a while ago. It stopped hurting as much. No longer a constant piercing deep pain. Now the loss of Seokmin was a dull ache. You tried dating but that would be impossible for awhile longer. What man could compare? What first date wanted to hear about how your hard and fast rules included being worshipped unconditionally and surprised with spontaneous romantic gestures daily? He had spoiled you for anyone else, right from the beginning.

Therapy didn’t help either. Your therapist would ask about red flags, what made you question Seokmin? His constant sweetness? His insistence that you would be married and have six kids? How he would make you hold his hand when he pressed the power button on the blender because loud noises scared him sometimes? All you could say was how it happened once before and you didn’t question it hard enough. You missed him so much that you never reached the level of clarity you had now. You just fell back into him — and what a horrific fool you’d been. To trust that bright, adoring smile.

Night was the hardest. When things got quiet and you had none of his laughter or happiness to soothe you. It had been three years and still you hadn't gotten used to it. You were starting to wonder if you ever would. At this point you were only months away from being apart as long as you'd been together and everyone kept saying that's when it'd get better. It had to right? Because the alternative would be that you’d always miss him and some part of you hated that. You just didn’t want him in your head anymore.

The one good thing in your life right now? A cute corgi named Yumi that you adopted once you moved into your new place. The house had once belonged to your grandparents who raised generation after generation of kids in it and now it would get to be yours to one day have your own family. You couldn’t wait to get there knowing some day you wouldn’t remember how much it hurt because someone would be able to love that pain away.

Feeling slightly better you headed toward the backyard to let Yumi out. A streetlight stood in the alley behind your house. It made the night time bathroom breaks easier for Yumi but it drove you crazy. There was a short or something in the light so it flickered like crazy all night. Even with blackout curtains you could see it sometimes and it would keep you awake. It was flickering now much faster than normal and you sighed, you really didn’t have the energy to deal with that tonight.

You were in the middle of the yard picking up dog poop when the light suddenly went out. You rose, tying the little plastic bag off and sticking it in the bin. You went inside to wash your hands and then came back out to investigate. The light still wasn’t on. Had it finally broken? That would make today amazing. Suddenly a sharp musical note caught your attention. The bedroom windows were open upstairs and you could faintly hear the sound. A ringtone. A familiar ringtone. Seokmin’s phone. A phone that you couldn’t bear to part with. But you hadn’t paid the bill at all. How was it ringing?

The streetlight flickered back on, it seemed much brighter than before. And someone was standing beneath it. They just…appeared. Aglow and beautiful and…Seokmin. A face you never thought you’d see again. Same big ears, sharp nose, glimmering eyes. He looked tired. His hair was shorter than he wore it before and darker. He looked stronger, muscles rippled from his t-shirt. The sight of him made you ache, and you felt faint. Suddenly you realized you had sunk right into the grass. Yumi was playfully hopping in and out of your lap.

Seokmin who had just been staring at you as much as you stared at him came running. Oh — he smelled different. A woodsy natural scent and so good. But you were angry, a numbing sensation began to smother that slight interest in him. He could never have you again.

“Y/n please let me explain. Please. I’m so sorry. I promised I wouldn’t leave again and I did I’m so —“ You stood to your feet ready to let him have it and promptly vomited all over him.

“I know I’m supposed to be sorry but I really don’t care about throwing up on you. I hope I ruined something really expensive.” You stood in the doorway of your kitchen watching Seokmin do his best to clean himself up. You were forced to loan him a shirt and at least let his shoes dry. It would be the perfect time to give him a piece of your mind, while he was at your mercy.

“That’s okay. I can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same thing if someone I thought cared about me disappeared for…a year?” Seokmin said with a minor hint of hesitation in his tone.

Your eyes went wide. You were going to kill him. “A yea—Seokmin it’s been three years! Almost four in a few months.” You snapped and his brow furrowed in confusion.

“What? No. I would’ve come back. I wouldn’t have—I’ve never…” His voice trailed off and he just stared blankly ahead for a moment. “I was gone for almost four years?”

“Get out.” The word came out bitter and distant. He didn’t even keep track of how long he’d been away from you. This was a joke but finally it was closure.

“Wait, please.” You didn’t have time for it, you turned, marching toward the front door and yanked it open. Seokmin looked ready to burst into tears at any moment but he didn’t budge past the living room doorway.

“Get out.” You repeated a touch of venom seeping into the words.

“You didn’t see me walk up.” Seokmin replied frantically.

“What?” You snapped in return.

“The light. You were staring at the light when I appeared because you were looking right at me. So that means you didn’t see me come from anywhere. You didn’t see me walk up to the light.” Seokmin said in a desperate rush.

“So what?” You still held the front wide open.

“So I didn’t walk up at all. I-I came back from where I was by shifting realities.” Seokmin said.

The front door closed. You were crossing the room towards the kitchen and Seokmin involuntarily flinched backwards as if he were afraid you might hit him. Instead you reached for your phone.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Calling paramedics because clearly you're unwell."

"What? I'm--" He gripped his hair desperately, pacing back and forth for a moment before he turned to you with a desperate look. "Where's my phone?"

"Seokmin why does that -- wait how do you know I have your phone?" You asked carefully, eyes narrowing at him.

"It's the first thing that signals to me. Unless someone throws it out which has happened before. But I knew it was here, it's how I found you. It came back on right? It only does that if I'm back. I don't know why, it's just what happens." He intoned and although it had been several years, although you had no reason to trust him -- his face and his voice felt so familiar. You knew Seokmin. And against all odds, you still knew him. You could tell when he wasn't being completely honest, like before when he subverted all conversation of his previous disappearance. Now he stood before you and everything in his demeanor was begging you to believe him. You just didn't know if you could.

An hour later you were sat on the plush couch that led to your living room attempting to make sense of the story he was telling.

“When it happened before it was my body needing to go. I have to shift somewhere else at least once a month. Or my body does it for me. Like everything is building up waiting to implode. I hadn’t been doing my due diligence. We were spending so much time together and I realized quickly that although there were all these other universes, this was the only one that had you in it. I kept trying to find you elsewhere I thought maybe…I don’t know maybe somehow the you here would know I was safe with the you somewhere else. But there is no other you, anywhere in any universe. I looked for a long time.”

“So you were forced into this?” You asked cautiously, still not convinced.

“No. It’s genetic. It happens to my dad too. My mom knows about it though, I — I didn’t know how to explain it to you. I thought if I explained it too soon I’d lose you. I thought that I could just control it and you didn’t have to know. I didn’t realize that by ignoring things for so long it would result in such huge gaps of away time. I had been slacking on shifting, but it was so hard to leave you. I just couldn’t. Not even for a second so I kept pushing things back because I was scared I’d be gone too long. Finally I knew something was going to happen and I should’ve told you but I was gone for seventeen days and when I got back all I wanted to focus on was getting you to trust me again….”

“Only to completely shatter our trust a year later.” You said voice steeped in sarcasm.

Seokmin winced and then gave a brief nod before staring up at you. “I wanted to take you with me. To prove it. But my dad said it would kill you, that your body wouldn’t be able to handle it.”

You chewed your bottom lip and your eyes narrowed. “So if this is something you can control, show me.”

Seokmin’s eyes went wide. “But I just got back what if I leave again and I’m stuck like before. It takes a long long time to sift through reality and find my way back here. I have to keep moving, if I stay complacent I won’t ever be able to get back to you. And — and I don’t think I could live knowing I was stuck somewhere in a world that didn’t have you in it.”

“Seokmin I can’t trust you. Whether this is some elaborate lie or the absolute truth there’s damage that’s been done. I was unmade by your disappearing. And if there is even a hope to heal that hurt within myself I need it. Even if it means I never see you again.” Because if it was true and he never came back well at least you knew why. At least finally you’d have closure and you could move on. But if he did come back what then? It seemed like finding your way back to each other wouldn’t be an option…not after all this time.

He frowned but eventually nodded. “Okay, if it’ll help I can do it. I’ll just live with whatever happens.” He rose to his feet and when he looked at you, despite the warning in your brain, your heart swelled. You knew that look on Seokmin well. Complete and utter devotion and love. Even after all this time he still loved you. And then he was gone. Without a word just vanished in thin air. It was the truth and as you stared at the empty space where he’d once been you wept. It had been just the kind of healing you needed.

“Look.” You pointed to the flickering street light hoisting the toddler clinging to your leg up onto your hip. The light went out and your toddler gasped in delight as if they hadn’t seen this happen last month. After roughly thirty seconds the light came back on brighter than ever. A familiar ringtone sounded from the kitchen window, you could hear Yumi barking at the noise.

Seokmin emerged from beneath the light all smiles. He rushed forward springing your toddler from your arms and spinning them around. He was a good dad though he would argue against it. It was laughable to think of the old you, who didn’t think Seokmin had the capacity to hold love for anyone else but he was ever a surprise. In fact he was even more insufferable now that you’d become parents. Things like the first time your toddler played with a new toy or took their sock off were extremely important to him. The shifting grew harder for him the older your child got. He had to miss some important firsts like walking and the first birthday party. But he wasn’t allowed to skip his body’s need to explore the universes out there. He always had the best stories.

After that fateful night in your house things got better. You and Seokmin took things slow which proved a particular kind of torture for him, but it was necessary. There was lots of hanging out and then casual dating and then things got serious when he asked you to be his anchor this was after the wedding of course. His mom had done it for his dad. As long as you were alive he could hone in and come home. It was a huge undertaking because the stress of the shifting affected the anchor too. When he was gone you felt more fatigued, emotional and anxious. Which were normal symptoms of a lot of things but it felt dialed up to a hundred the first time you experienced it. Your heart missed him and you wondered at the familiar feeling. Maybe you’d been his anchor all along — when he returned it was like someone had slotted all the right pieces into place. Relief.

Even now as you watched them play and dance around the back yard with Yumi judging from a respectable distance, you felt the huge impact of your anxiety subsiding. Like you could breathe again, and that constant feeling of tiredness was dissipating. It was an even better feeling knowing that when he came back it would always be to you, no matter what happened. You forced him to shift now, he tried to get out of it but you kept a tight schedule. He wasn’t going to put it all off and then miss out on his kids life because of it. You would never take the risk of losing him for that long again.

He smothered your toddler in kisses that resulted in delighted screaming from the both of them and then he came over to do the same to you. As he led you both inside you were struck by how lucky you were. Seokmin had been in entirely different universes with all manner of beautiful people inside and out. He had every opportunity to look elsewhere. To love differently to give up and stop fighting to be with you. Yet he always chose you. He said once that despite having travelled to 3,294 universes, he really only needed you. His entire world.

And funnily enough you believed him.

[yandereunsolved]

Roses are Red; Violets are Blue - ,, yandere pre-death Tate

cw(s): yandere themes, suggestive themes, mention of cocaine, Tates actions (the lighting of a human on fire & a school shooting) a/n: Tate is aged up here and is in college instead of high school. He dies at age twenty-one instead of seventeen, because it feels weird to write an older teen as a romantic yandere. Mentions of Violet— she's eighteen and a senior in high school.

✧ You both grew up together, sort of. You were always someone Tate could never talk to. He was a bit too scared to speak with you. You just seemed so perfect, and he was not. You moved into his neighborhood when you both were much younger. His hellish 'mother' didn't like your family for a reason; he never quite paid attention. It was something about you all not being holy enough. About how you were going to corrupt her perfect golden son. There was nothing you taught Tate about himself that he wasn't bound to figure out. He learned about boners after peeping through your window one night while you were changing after a shower. He learned the true meaning of the words 'I love you' after he overheard you speaking of how excited you were for the new Nirvana album. You even taught him how to follow people and not get caught by that person or the authorities. All this, and he still hadn't had a proper conversation with you yet.

✧ You legally started your friendship relationship sometime early in your freshman year, on October 30th, 1991. It was just something else that made him fall head over heels once again for you. He was having an already shitty day when some athletic losers began bullying him. He was getting pushed around for the umpteenth time this week when he tried to fight back. He got knocked on his ass and a nose that was both broken and remarkably bloody. You rushed over and offered to help him. He brushed you off and was a bit snappy; he still regrets that to this day. He just didn't want you to see how desperate he was for your attention. He craved your touch. If it weren't for all the blood on his face, you would have easily noticed how flushed his face was from just being in your vicinity.

✧ You offered to take him to the nurses office, and he 'begrudgingly' agreed. He was bouncing on his heels in his mind, and he swears that his nose bleed got worse. You even offered to help him walk there if he was dizzy, and naturally, he leaned on you. He even took a whiff of your scent near your neck. He had to resist nuzzling into you because you just felt so warm, like home. Like a home he never had. He asked you to stay even after the nurse said you could go back to class. He'd made up some lame excuse about you being a witness and him having to report it. Such a fucking lie. None of the administrators would give a shit. Everyone in this godforsaken college is an adult. So 'bullying' doesn't exist, apparently. At least the college is near both of your houses.

✧ That's the best part. This is your first real interaction, and you are already inviting him over. You feel bad that his nose got sprained and that the nurse had to reset it. So you—

'Oh my god, you called me cute!? You said you saw me around the neighborhood all these years and were too shy to talk to me. You've always been so shy. You've always been someone who needed someone to take care of you. You'd take care of me so well. We could happily take care of each other. Wait, sorry. I'm rambling too much. Iris, get back with the headcanons before I go on about them for another three hours.'

Made sure that he didn't get left alone. You heard from around the neighborhood that his mother is kind of nuts. So you thought he would be the same, but he's actually kind of awkward and distant, and sweet. You two spent the entire night together and ended up having a sleepover. Tate likes it a lot more when the sleepovers are consensual and not him climbing through your window, crawling into your bed, cuddling into you, then leaving you right before you wake.

✧ Something you have to know about Tate is that he is undeniably a pervert. Constance ruined any chance he ever had to take a girl out on a date. Then, when his casual interest turned into an obsession, he was able to sneak out without alerting her. So just being around you makes his mind run wild and his hands perspire. He steals your undergarments the most—it doesn't matter what they are. It could be anything from a lacy bra to a pair of men's boxers. He always steals your oldest items because your scent is ingrained into their very fabrics. He hides the items he 'borrows' from you in a box behind a brick in the basement. He goes down there every night and inhales your heavenly scent. His eyes roll back in his head, and suddenly he has a problem that he has to take care of.

✧ That's not where his perverted nature ends, either. He suddenly became very interested in photography. He buys a secret camera to use whenever he 'sees' you. Whenever he watches you when you aren't aware. He takes photos of you doing the most mundane things: exercising, cooking, working on homework, walking, breathing, and blinking. He also takes photos of you while sleeping, getting out of the shower, stretching, and wearing those skimpy little clothes of yours. It makes his mouth water fervently. The photos quickly pile up. He keeps the physical photos in the same box behind the same removed brick.

✧ He buys you more pretty clothes. Most of them are revealing, but you seem to like that. At least that's what he's seen in you in your private life. Of course, you don't know they are from him. He's too insecure for that. So he wraps them up all nice and pretty and leaves them on your bed. He always writes down 'your secret admirer' on the packaging. He opens your window when you and your family are gone and leaves them then. If he is feeling more confident, then he'll open your window and put the package on the floor. You start locking your window after that. So he's constantly breaking the lock on your window. When the family gets the police involved, he gets extremely upset. He begins to ignore you, so you know exactly how he feels when you ignore his gifts and say it's from some 'creepy stalker'.

✧ You are understandably confused when one of your closest friends begins ignoring you. You think he might be scared of the fact that you have a stalker. It makes you desperate. You don't want to be left alone. You need your friend. That makes Tate all giddy inside. He gets to stay near you whenever he wants. As much as he pleases? You seem so scared of some hypothetical boogeyman. It's just sweet ole' him! Not that you know that. He understands, though. He'd be pretty upset if some random man started doing the things he's doing for you. No other man could be as devoted to you as he is.

✧ Slowly, the number of your friends and close family dwindles. Each of your friends either cuts contact with you or disappears altogether. Now, now, Tate has put so much effort into this for you. It wasn't easy. It wasn't something he could pull off on his own. He had to scrounge around for as much money as he could to hire a hitman on several occasions. He stole the money from his mother's various rich and fleeting boyfriends. She would use them up soon enough anyway. So there's no reason for him to care about their financial well-being. Besides, he is doing it for a noble cause—a war is yet to come.

✧ He takes a different approach when it comes to isolating you from your family members. He will get along well with your family. Insert himself as a shy, college kid that lives down the street and is best friends with their child—their only friend, really. His mother picks up on this and is immediately displeased. Of course she has only scratched the surface of the iceberg that is Tates twisted delight.

"As long as you don't fuck that godless slut, I suppose you can be around them."

He wanted to snap his mother's neck right then and there. Lucky for her, he had other plans. He inserts himself into every facet of your family's life. He slowly learns the skeletons in your family members closets. Did you know your cousin once had a lewd dream about your partner? Did you know your grandfather cheated on his spouse not once but twice? Did you know your Aunt once tried to poison you? Did you know? Did you know? Did you know?

Some of those may have been slightly exaggerated or entirely made up, but you completely trust him, so what is there to worry about? 

Soon enough the only one you trust is Tate.

✧ You connect the dots somewhat, but at this point, you don't quite care. You just want this stalker to stop. You just want Tate. When Tate learns his feelings are somewhat reciprocated, the stalkings become less frequent. After all, if he is always allowed to be around you, then he doesn't have to stalk you anymore. 

✧ He starts giving you love notes after the two of you begin dating. The stalker fades into the background, and suddenly only Tate is there. He is perfect for you. He is your dream boyfriend. He writes these cheesy and poetic letters about his adoration for you. Some of them are creepy—really creepy. You can look over that, though. It's just Tate being Tate. He was never confident enough to share them with you while he was just your 'creepy stalker'. Now he gives them to you freely. Sometimes they are just little doodles. Other times, they are cheesy words. Occasionally, they do have a tendency to get a bit violent. 

'Me & U 4ever.' '1+1=Let Me Fuck You Up' 'Love you more than Kurt Cobain' 'Let's go to a music festival and have fun~ ;)' 'Wanna sneak out later when your parents aren't home?' 'Is that bitch bothering you again?' 'Commit arson?' 'The thoughts are back.' 'Need you' 'I just want to keep you in my pocket and then lock you in a cage that only I have the key to for all eternity.'

✧ Everything was perfect until it wasn't. For some reason, you started distancing yourself from him. You had found a new friend group. You had found someone more healthy than Tate. Tate's hold on you was beginning to crumble. It was like he was trying to hold your disintegrating heart in his hands. You weren't spending every single moment with him. Whether this was actually happening or if this was just his paranoia is unknown. It got to him, though. It got to him worse than anything else could.

✧ He lost it one day. He snapped. It was a comment that his mother's new boyfriend made. Well, multiple comments. He found a secret collection of your things. He had done a bit of digging and began to learn just how unhinged his girlfriend's son was. Instead of immediately reporting him to the police, he confronted Tate instead. He threatened him with calling the police. He said that he was going to tell everyone about how much of a freak Tate was. He was going to tell Tates, dear mommy, that her golden child was actually a depraved, perverted loser who got off on stalking his partner.

✧ He needed to be gone. That was the one thing that ran through his mind. They had gotten into a screaming match that night. Luckily, no one was home except them and the ghosts. The energy was charged and electrified. The Murder House had set its sights on its next victim, and it was more than eager to swallow him whole. The devil in his mind didn't whisper any longer; he shouted. He spoke in a loud and commanding tone and told Tate exactly what to do and when to do it. How to win your affection back.

✧ He snorted a line of cocaine and grabbed his rifle and some gasoline. He lit that fucker up at his work. He was no longer his mother's boyfriend. He was just a charred corpse. He had one problem taken care of. Now, just one more stop—your college, our college. He needed to get rid of those little friends of yours. So, he did. Every single one of them he shot dead in front of you. He looked you straight in the eyes and pointed the barrel at your head. There was no restraint or morality in his hazel eyes. There was only darkness—a certain unhinged spark you had only seen in fleeting moments. Now it was a mighty flame, and it was coming to burn everything you knew to the ground.

✧ He made you beg for your life. He made you like it. He took you right there at that table and acted like it meant nothing. He kissed you deeply and dug his fingers into your living flesh. He knew it would be the last time he would have you in such a way—as long as he was living anyway. You were covered in bite marks and his residue by the time the cops came. 

You heard the next day that they shot him multiple times. You had mixed feelings. They had asked you if he had your consent. You said yes. They didn't believe you. You didn't like that. You didn't like that you liked it so much. You hated yourself for it. You couldn't help but admire the marks he left on you. They were like pieces of art. They'll fade, but the feeling of his fingertips ghosting your body in the most intimate manner won't.

✧ He gets extremely lonely; boredom overtakes him. He still has that box filled with your things, so he's always going through it. It's almost sadistically hilarious. He started with only his fantasies, and now they are the only thing he has again. At least he now knows what your skin feels like and how you taste. You have those things to keep him company. Not to mention, some of your clothes still smell like you. They're his comfort items. If any entity in the house tries to touch them, he will have an immediate meltdown. So, they've all learned to leave him alone when he's having his private time—his fantasies of you, him frenzily groping the cloth like it were your own soft, tender, plush flesh. 

✧ He was surprised when you came to visit the house once again. Tate revealed himself immediately and hung on to you needily. He peppered kisses all over your face and neck. He was so unbelievably relieved by the fact that you forgave him. You promised to visit again and again over the years. It made his soul soar; he almost feared that he had passed onto heaven and that you were only an illusion in his mind. You both did what you always did. You seemed cautious at first, but some part of you just stuck with Tate.

✧ Many seasons passed, and you visited him less and less. You moved on to better and greater things in your life than him. He isn't exactly sure what happened to you. You just stopped visiting him one day. The entire house became a lot more frigid and foreboding after that. There would be no heavy make-out sessions that left the both of you breathless. There would be no more late nights spent talking about everything and anything going on in the world. There would be no seeing your age, your beautiful face, and your figure known only to his mind. There would be none of that. Only him. All alone...

✧ Now, after all these years, he admires a girl who reminds him of his first love. Those tendrils of obsessive ectasy sneak into his heart once again as he hears her name, Violet. It was like the world had regained its color—well, a singular color. One fact about you rang in his mind over and over like a never-ending church bell as he watched the new family move in.

"Oh, my favorite color? It's Violet, silly."

.ೃ࿐ -ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ- .ೃ࿐

⟿ taglist: @coentinim @bluerthanvelvet444 @cxndiedvi0lets @doll3tt33 @lacucarachapisser @t4telangd0ns1ut @etheral-moon @evanpetersmybf @evanpeters-posts @fear-is-truth

.ೃ࿐ -ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ- .ೃ࿐

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not defending an ex-friend when people called her a slut?

I (20 f) fell out with my best friend and roommate M (20 f) at the end of sophomore year of college. reason we fell out isn't the main subject of this post but I think it's relevant so I'll try and keep it as brief as possible.

For context I'm Black attending a VERY white school. Frenshman year I was the only black girl in my building and this was just post-covid so student groups were pretty dead. So first trimester most of my college friends were the girls from my floor including M (white) and S (20f, asian american). It was very isolating tbh, esp bc I experienced a lot of microaggressions, but the girls I befriended were pretty good at sharing my outrage and letting me confide in them.

The worst incident was when at a party, a guy (G, white) made some very racist comments towards me and in general (said the n-word a few times). I admit I escalated it by engaging w him and the whole thing got out of hand, a lot of people saw, and he got a reputation as a racist. Afterwards, he was always rude to me, blaming me for egging him on while drunk and just constantly making disrespectful comments about me and my 'attitude' where i could hear. no one ever said anything to his face but were supportive of me after the fact - S was always particularly supportive and said she could relate.

I was generally fine with avoiding G esp in sophomore year when we moved out. I lived with M and another friend (P) and it went pretty well. We were asked in like November if we would renew our lease, and though M and I wanted to the third friend didn't, so we began to think of replacements, and S was looking for a place.

Thing is, while S and I were still on good terms I felt like she was being a bit secretive w me. She'd often come over and talk privately w M and I got the gist she was seeing someone and didn't want me to know. I shook it off as us growing apart and the fact I'd gotten more involved in Black student groups and hadn't hung around with our dorm friends as much, but then in Jan, as we were planning to sign the new lease, I found out she was dating G. Tbh at this point we weren't even close friends that I felt a strong personal betrayal, but more so I was mad at them both for not telling me while making plans for us to live together. They knew I was uncomfortable around G and wouldn't want to live w his gf, esp without knowing. It felt like they were almost purposefully going behind my back.

I didn't do anything at the time, just slowly backed out of the lease renewal and made other arrangements. I stopped hanging out with S almost completely and was just cordial w her and took a big step back from M and our dorm friends.

The other relevant bit of context here is M had a boyfriend (T, 20 m) who was in our freshman dorm and very close to our year one friends (lived with them sophomore year and now junior year too). She broke up w him in Feb, which led to a lot of her friendships w our dorm friends (her only friends really) to deteriorate a bit, esp as she was no longer super comfy hanging around where he was. this especially became an issue in the spring trimester bc she got a new boyfriend over the break, a friend from her classes T hadn't liked.

So, M kept pressuring me to hang out w her and our dorm friends a lot more, which inevitably meant seeing S and now G, who they'd all decided they were cool being around when I distanced myself. I told her why i didn't want to and I didn't want to see G again but she promised he had 'changed' and wouldn't say anything to me. eventually I folded and went out w them all once and it honestly sucked. M completely abandoned me to be w her other friends, G didn't say anything but kept glaring at me the whole time, and I felt very out of place. afterwards I told M i was sorry, I know she felt awkward around her ex without me, but I wouldn't do that again.

She left it till like the end of the year then there was a big dinner she really wanted to go to that T would be at (her bf was not invited), w all our dorm friends. I kept saying I wouldn't go, but then she told me she checked w the hosts and confirmed (and promised) G wouldn't be coming. I said okay but asked we sit next to each other and made it clear how I felt around S etc, and she agreed and promised we would. Long story short G was there, I wound up next to S and across from him snickering at me the whole time, with her on the other end of the table. I texted M about it, she said it was 'fine' and I was imagining it and to try and enjoy the gathering.. yeah no. I dipped before desert, she chased me outside asking what was up and I explained why i was upset, she said i can't expect her to be there for me the whole night and she's allowed to 'have a good night without my drama,' i said racism wasn't drama and she literally dragged me along to deal with her drama, nevermind my comfort, and that she was an incredibly selfish friend for putting me in this position. I left, she wound up crying with everyone comforting her, everyone there (M included) went off at me for being an unsupportive friend/dredging up year old drama with G/overall making everything about race, I cut them all off and moved my stuff into my girlfriend's place a week after all this and didn't speak to anyone since.

which is pretty much all the backstory (longer than the main bit, sorry), that gets us to the actual AITA situation. Junior year starts, I'm at a welcome back party w some other friends and i'm vaguely aware my old dorm friends (including S and G) are also here, but it's a huge party and i'm w my very supportive friends who ik will back me if anything happens so i dont really care. eventually M arrives w her bf, gives me an awkward look but doesn't say anything to me.

Then at some point, I'm upstairs using the bathroom and I hear the girls from our dorm group speaking to M in the hallway. Apparently it came out over summer she'd hooked up w her new boyfriend before she ended things with T and they were all pissed at her (esp for her playing the victim w her ex). I tried to stay in the bathroom until the conversation ended but someone was pounding on the door and I wound up having to get out and waddle past them awkwardly to get back downstairs. When I got out one of the girls was calling M a slut and other names and while i tried to avoid it I accidentally made eye contact with M, who was super upset and crying. I kinda just shrugged and went downstairs.

Later that night i got a long ass message from her new bf about how he knows I'm upset with her but it wasn't fair for me to just leave her in that situation, and that it was petty and selfish of me (esp bc I'm usually the person calling out this shit). I spoke to my gf, and she said she understands why i did nothing but also that it's never okay for people to call someone a slut. I agree with that 100% and in any other case i might have tried to diffuse the situation (like if it was safe and I thought I could). I've told a couple friends who think I did nothing wrong and it wasn't fair to expect me to say smth when she never said/did anything to defend me and that she had it coming, but my mom told me I should've done the kind thing and not stoop to their level and it's made me feel really bad. I think I might be TA bc i could have stood up for her without anything bad happening to me beyond being in an uncomfortable convo, and also bc it kinda felt good seeing her friends turn on her? Like she threw me under the bus to be in their good books and defend them and they dropped her ass anyway, and if I acted from a vengeful place then thats asshole-y of me. but also no one in this story has apologised to me once and as my friend says its not fair to rely on black ppl to fix racist white ppls mess.

so, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[lorifragolina]

More than Roommates...?

Another entry for @harringrovesummerbingo!

It's a silly rom com and I tried to keep it short :) I hope you enjoy it!

Title: More than Roommates...?

Square & Prompt: C1 "Laughter"

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 2501

Major Tags: Friendly schemes, Enemies to Lovers

Summary:

Steve and Billy are roommates, but they didn't start with the right foot... even if they became attracted to each other pretty soon. But both of them think that the other didn't swing the same way... Two smart friends and a good scheme are needed for making them move... or not?

Read it on AO3

“Robin, he’s not gay, it’s as plain as day”.

“I never see him with a girl”.

“It’s because he’s not… I mean, he doesn’t… he just goes casual”.

“Well you can just ask and remove any doubt”.

“Are you nuts? He’s my roommate, I can’t go and ask something like this”.

Robin snorted and shrugged. It was the third or fourth time they had a similar discussion, in a corner of the cafeteria in front of their morning coffees. Usually, Steve had some wet dream about his roommate and went to venting with her. 

“Well I’ll ask him then,” she said stubbornly, frankly fed up with the hesitation of her best friend.

“Don’t you dare! Do you have an idea of how much it has cost me to find that room? I can’t ruin things with him”.

“I know, Steve, do you forget we moved here together?”

“Yes but you are a brainiac and you have your room granted in the residence”.

Robin snorted again soundly. It hadn't been so easy as Steve was painting it,  for her, but she could understand his doubts. 

Moreover, Steve and his roommate had a rough start and now, almost at the end of their freshman year, things were smoother and it was better trying not to ruin them.

“So, did you have some action lately?”

Heather adjusted the camera and went nearer to the screen, smiling slyly.

Billy sighed. “Nothing at all… dead calm”, he moaned, shaking his head.

“Don’t tell me you're still after him,” she raised her eyes. “Why don’t you make a move yet?”

“Sweet Jesus, he’s not gay!” shrieked Billy, regretting immediately for raising his voice, even if he was in his room alone. “He’s not gay, I already told you”.

“You can’t say. Do you know how many people swing in both ways?”

“He’s not”.

“Did he ever bring a girl into his room?”

“Well Robin is always here, but…”

“But they’re having sex? No, they don’t, so?”

“Well, maybe they…”

“Why don’t you ask him out? What could happen? At least you’ll stop bothering me with that nonsense”.

Billy knew that Heather loved him madly and he didn’t take her words badly, but she didn’t live there and she had no real idea of the situation.

It was him who had to live with Steve, and he didn’t want to ruin the delicate situation they created lately.

They had bitter arguments at the start of the year;  Billy liked to blast his metal out loud and having large Skype call in the common space until late, while Steve loved cheesy pop music and he wanted to sleep in the middle of the night; Billy liked to exercise and go to the gym and take care of his appearance, occupying the bathroom for hours. Steve was equally vain, but ha was not a morning person, so he passed half of his mornings knocking frantically at the bathroom door, and when he was able to going in, he didn’t mind to use Billy’s hair and body product, driving him mad when he smelled the scent of his special hair mousse on Steve’s hair. 

One time Steve had run out of the bathroom yelling like mad because he found Billy’s body hair in his razor, starting an argument that lasted almost two weeks. As if that were not enough, they had argued also in class, bickering about some unimportant detail in the textbook and their feud had been the goss of the week. 

They kept being on each other's way in college orientation events and in the basketball matches, but after a really tense few months, they reasoned out as adults, then they apologized and the cohabitation had started to go better. 

The problem was, for Billy, that all the confront and bickering had made him fixating in Steve’s body language, his moves and gestures and to walk in the room when he was agitated, how he passed his hands in his hair or put his hand on his hips, and specially in how the little mole at the side of his mouth moved when he was arguing, distracting Billy and driving Steve really mad; he didn’t know that in those moment when Billy forgot how to blink, he was thinking of kissing that little mole and all the other moles in his face and licking his neck and biting him and…

“Billy? Are you here?” Steve knocked at the door before entering.

Billy was still on his Skype call.

“I have to go, Heater, I’ll call you tomorrow,” he said in a rush, closing the laptop.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to bother you”.

“Don’t worry, I have already finished the call”.

“Ok… something important?”

“Oh no… family thing, you know, nothing important…”

Steve nodded, taking a glass of water and drinking near the sink with his hand on his hips, pensive. Billy had to gulp his agitation and smiled tensely.

“I was thinking to have a shower, do you want to use the bathroom?” He asked kindly, one of the things he learned to do to maintain their good relationship.

“Oh, no thanks, go ahead,” Steve smiled tensely too, washing a couple of dishes still in the sink since the morning. 

He was almost sure that he heard a feminine voice, he knew that Billy had a sister but it didn’t seem to him the same voice; Billy always closed his calls when he came in the room, because he didn’t want to argue anymore about bothering calls, but Steve suspected he called always the same girl, probably his distant girlfriend and for this he never bring any woman at home. Steve didn’t dare ask to maintain the balance between them and the peace they gained so difficulty.

He suffered for not knowing, anyway… he didn’t define himself as gay, he liked girls, but he also liked men very much, and Billy in particular was his type almost exactly, although they started hating each other; but he liked ripped, neat men, well trimmed, with an angelic nuisance and a nasty attitude; and Billy, with his Californian Barbie complexion, was almost near to perfection, making him struggle to stay formal near to him. Even if Billy still hadn’t picked up any girl at college, he had a crowd of female admirers and he seemed to enjoy it, so Steve knew he couldn’t have a possibility. Moreover, if he would come out with Billy, he could feel uncomfortable; he didn’t seem homophobe, but not everyone wanted to sleep with a non straight roommate. 

“Oh, shit,” groaned Steve, raising his eyes to the cafeteria door. 

“Oh, shit,” echoed Robin, for completely different reasons. 

Billy had just entered with a stunning brunette hanging at his arm, a beaming smile and gushing with happiness.

The girl was short but curvy, with pink hearted glasses and red lips, and a pair of mini shorts that showed her nicely shaped legs; the perfect Barbie complement for Billy, sighed Steve seeing his hopes shattered in the floor. 

Robin couldn’t also take her eyes off of the girl, definitely her type, even if she seemed she couldn't take her eyes off of Billy.

“Hey,” Billy waved at Steve, who he felt he wanted to die. He smiled and waved back. 

“Hello, I didn’t know you were here either… Heather just arrived by train to visit me”.

“Hello,” said the girl, lowering the glasses and raising her hand directly to Robin. “I’m Heather”.

“I’m Robin,” she answered, breathless. They looked at each other for a long, long moment, until Billy dared to speak again.

“And he’s Steve, my roommate”.

Heather smiled again, giving him her hand too. “Oh. I heard a lot about you”.

Steve blushed and Billy nudged her. “Stop it,” he hissed, then went to the bar to order the coffee.

“So, you’re studying here too?” Heather asked directly to Robin, who blushed, leaving Steve wide mouthed and speechless. They talked a little bit, ignoring Steve completely until Billy returned with the drinks. Robin got up to go to class reluctantly.

“Well I’m staying all weekend, I hope you can join us for dinner tonight,” Heather chirped with a soundly voice, and Robin nodded and went away, giggling. 

“So you’re the famous Steve,” she immediately turned to him, resting her face on her hand. “I thought you were taller”.

“Heather!” Hissed Billy.

Steve cleared his throat. “Will you… will you stay in our room?” His voice was oddly high pitched.

“Oh no, I booked a B&B here near the campus. I don’t want to bother you two big guys,” she giggled and they both blushed furiously. 

“But I hope you don’t mind if she stays a little in the room…” said Billy carefully. 

“Oh no, not at all”.

Heather smiled and they finished their drink, then she and Billy went away to visit the campus, leaving Steve sitting there, heartbroken.

“I don’t want to go to dinner with the lovebirds!” Said Steve later, outside Robin dorm. Robin pouted and looked at him with flames in her eyes. 

“Are you stupid?” She hissed. “I’ll go even if you don’t come”.

“If you like to be the third wheel…”

“God, you’re really stupid!” Robin crossed her arms and refused to talk again with him. 

When she reached them at the restaurant, Steve looked at her, really puzzled. He never saw her so dressed up before. She barely used makeup and combed her hair with a bobby pin to avoid hair in the eyes, but that night she was wearing a fancy jacket and pants and she curled her hair and painted her eyes and lips; she was really pretty, and when he looked the glance Heather gave to her, he finally understood why she called him stupid lately. 

Billy and Steve witnessed their shameless flirtation with wide eyes, unable to say anything and looking furtively at each other, utterly embarrassed. Steve was glad she definitely wasn’t his distant girlfriend, and Billy was glad that Robin was the platonic girlfriend of Steve, but they didn’t know how to break the ice to each other and bring the topic on the table. They kept talking about trivial things, some sport results and TV shows while their friends were talking intensely and ignoring them.

Steve and Billy didn’t notice that they exchanged each other's numbers, but when they left the restaurant, Heather announced that she wanted to go resting after the trip, but she would be free the rest of the weekend to do something fun with them.

Billy walked her to her hotel and Steve and Robin went away in the opposite direction.

“What the fuck was that?” Snapped Steve once they were a little far.

“What?”

“All that thing, you were… flirting with her? You had just met her!”

Robin shrugged, looking at her mobile that had just buzzed. 

“Well she’s not his girlfriend. And he clearly hasn’t problems with queer people”.

Steve sighed. Well, there was a difference between having a lesbian friend and sleeping in the same room with someone who wanted to be in your pants.

“You couldn’t stay quiet, not for a little minute, could you?” Hissed Billy walking with her.

“You didn’t tell me she was gorgeous and lesbian, Billy. Is your gaydar broken?”

“I don’t… hey I don’t need to justify with you! I… I just didn’t realize”.

“Well it’s the perfect excuse to make a move with him, don’t you think? And you didn’t tell me he had that juicy ass, you little scoundrel”.

“Oh, please, stop! It’s a coincidence his friend is a lesbian. It doesn’t mean anything”

“Oh, it doesn't mean anything, Mr queer like a three dollar bill?”

“Stop this nonsense, I can do nothing with him. He’s straight and we are roommates, that’s all”.

Heather groaned and entered the hotel. She wrote to Robin immediately, chatting with her all night. 

“Is there some club to go dancing near there?” Asked Heather the next night, peeping a glimpse at Robin. 

“Well the Pink Flag is over there and they have good cocktails,” answered Robin immediately, waving at the end of the street. “You don’t have problems going to a queer bar, right, Steve?”

Steve blushed and nodded, of course he didn’t have problems, they went there very often, but he looked at Billy’s face, who blushed, lowered his face and nodded too. The girls joined the queue hand in hand and abandoned them behind. 

Billy tried to smile, worried, and saw the same expression on Steve's face. “Well at least they’re having a good time,” he sighed, while the girls were already chatting with the bouncer, who knew Robin, and obviously Steve. He accurately avoided confessing to Billy that he was a regular there, but he couldn't hide it for longer.

“Hey Steve, it’s been ages, I missed you! Oh, he is the guy Robin just told me about?”

“Hello… hello Alan…” answered nervously Steve, looking at his feet and running inside before the bouncer could say more embarrassing things. 

Robin and Heather were still inside, giggling at the dirty look he launched at them.

“How you dared!” He hissed to Robin. 

“Well you needed a nudge,” she giggled, disappearing on the dance floor with Heather.

Billy was looking at him, confused. “I’m not sure what had just happened outside… Do you come here often?”

Steve blushed. “Well, me and Robin, we… well, you know…”

“And what he said? You… talked about… me… with Robin?”

Steve gulped, looking away, feeling the tense in Billy’s words. 

“She thinks… well, she thinks I have… she thinks I have a little crush on you, that’s all. But don’t worry, I am not…”

“Oh shit,” Billy hit his forehead. “Don’t you see?” Steve looked at him, puzzled. “Don’t you see? They set a trap! It’s so clear!”

“A trap? But why? You don’t… don’t you…?”

Billy snickered, a little embarrassed too. “Well, well it’s possible that I… I mentioned to Heather that… I may like my roommate just a little bit”.

“Those filthy little bitches!” Snapped Steve, and Billy laughed, heartily, defusing the tension between them. Steve joined his laughter, looking in his eyes and staring at his swollen, juicy lips.

“I… I never heard you laughing…” he said, touching Billy’s arm with bashfulness. “I like it,” he smiled then, and Billy melted, looking at him with glossy, puppy eyes. 

He cupped Steve’s face and pecked him, kissing his smile, then Steve pecked him back, and they finally kissed, finally biting each other's lips, with a stupid happy look on their faces. 

“So what will we do now?” Whispered Billy, taking Steve’s hand. Steve looked at him with a mischievous smile. 

“Well, my roommate is cool, you can come in my room later,” he grinned, and Billy laughed again. “But meanwhile, those little schemers don’t deserve satisfaction”.

Billy nodded. “Agree. Let’s make them suffer a little more. But first, kiss me again”.

Steve laughed, and threw his arms around him, bursting in happiness.

[cyanide-latte]

TWST ficlet: have some imagination

Words: 1,399

Warnings: None

—————

“Do you know why you're getting a talking to, Benoit?”

The Pomefiore freshman Copper Benoit looked up at his Housewarden and opted to go for honesty.

“Can't say as I rightly do, sir,” he answered, trying to maintain the respect owed to the upperclassman. So far he was just a couple months into his tenure as a new student at Night Raven College, and this was the first time he'd really run into trouble with his Housewarden. He'd heard several people say that Vil Schoenheit was ruthless and ruled with almost as much of an iron fist as the Heartslabyul Housewarden, that he wasn't someone to cross or upset. So far Copper’s experience had been that Vil was strict for sure—especially to his fellow freshman and dorm brother Epel—but Vil wasn't awful. Copper knew when someone was a truly awful, intolerable human being, he'd lived through it his entire life with Mr. Stone.

And even now, he wasn't sure Vil was being awful per se. But he definitely didn't like how this conversation was going, and he really didn't like being in the hot seat. Vice-Housewarden Rook Hunt watching with a delighted smile off to the side didn't help matters.

Vil let out a little huff, planting his hands on his hips, and Copper had to remind himself that at least he didn't have things as bad as Epel.

“You snuck out in the middle of the night to go down to the lake, and upon both your leaving and your return, you set off wards that were in place for safety reasons.”

Copper couldn't hide his surprise. Magical wards? He hadn't given a second’s thought to that.

“I can see the wheels in your brain turning, Copper,” Vil muttered in a warning tone. “Don't think even for a second that you can just use your Unique Magic on these wards. Just because your spell can brute force through such barriers doesn't mean you should be using it for sneaking out.”

He stifled a grumbling swear at that. He wasn't sure what annoyed him more: the fact that Vil referred to it being a brute force spell, or that he'd exactly caught the train of thought and put a stop to it.

“You're not supposed to be sneaking out in the first place!” Vil continued. “You're a growing young man and you need adequate rest, the same as any of us. Even more so than most if you intend to be a respectable captain. You cannot afford to slack off on caring for yourself.”

“Roi du Poison is right, you know,” Rook added, his tone a touch gentler. “A greater, more vivacious self cannot be attained without proper care for oneself. If you continue to disregard this wisdom, I fear it shall be to your detriment. You'll surely come to regret your youthful impatience in years to come.” As Copper turned to goggle at him—sometimes, goggling was really the only thinking you could do with upperclassman Hunt—Rook’s eyes crinkled with a knowing smile and he added, “Ahh, but I believe you have concerns about not visiting your ship and your crew. You are Roi des Brigands, after all. And a captain must not abandon his post. Am I correct?”

Despite his unceasing penchant for the dramatic, Copper was relieved that Rook had guessed aloud his reason for sneaking out. And the honest truth was that he couldn't: he simply couldn't abandon or ignore his duties as captain. Silently, he nodded his confirmation.

Vil hardly seemed impressed or sympathetic. “None of that is an excuse for sneaking out and breaking the curfew. While I'm relieved that this isn't a case of you slipping off to go spend time with the Scarabia Housewarden, the fact remains you were out when you shouldn't have been and I was alerted by the wards that you'd done so. I appreciate you have responsibilities that you wish to see to, but you need to work on improving the way you manage your time.”

Copper chewed the inside of his cheek for a moment, trying to consider the best way to respond. Eventually he settled on, “You're right, I do have to manage my time better. But there are also gonna be some things that I have to learn at night, and it won't be some one-and-done thing. No, it's not an excuse either, before you say anything. But I won't always make curfew.”

Vil folded his arms with a frown. Rook shifted his gaze to the Housewarden, but Vil never returned the look. Copper supposed when you learned to jive with someone that well, you didn't need even direct eye-to-eye communication.

“He makes a very good point, Vil,” Rook remarked. “Surely you have an answer to match?”

Vil continued to study Copper intently with folded arms, letting out a pensive hum and tapping his foot by the heel a couple of times. Eventually he unfolded his arms, expression sliding into that carefully-cultivated, perfect neutrality.

“Surely you could plan ahead to inform us of when you're going to need to be aboard your ship to learn those lessons?”

“Could try, sir, but it's not easy. The ghost crew isn't like the rest of the cuddly ghosts here on campus. They don't have the same values and their whims flip faster than the tide. ‘Sides, I doubt they'll respect a captain who meekly falls in line with an authority that isn't himself; these are pirates, you know.”

There was an aggravated sigh of defeat. “I suppose I'm not entirely able to argue with that,” Vil declared. “I did meet a few of them. But causing a ruckus setting off the wards is unacceptable. From now on, there is to be none of that. And if I catch you sneaking past my room at night, there are going to be worse consequences than me giving you a lenient little talk.”

Perhaps someone else might have argued or admitted defeat. But Copper’s mind had already latched onto an idea and he stroked his chin ponderously as he regarded his Housewarden.

“That's a mighty big ‘if’,” he finally said, keeping his tone as innocent as possible.

The Housewarden said nothing but his eyebrows lifted sharply. The freshman took it as a cue to keep going.

“What I'm hearing,” Copper said, standing from the chair he’d been seated in and tilting his chin back as he let the grin he felt building slide its way onto his face, “is that I need to not get caught and I need to either not trip the wards or get past them without brute force.”

The junior's expression didn't change as he waved a hand imperiously, his tone now light. “What an interesting imagination you possess, little potato. I said no such thing.”

“Aye, sure ya didn't,” Copper said, tossing a wink. Already, he was getting ideas. If he practiced with his wind magic well enough, he thought he could manage to use that to escape through his window. “Orders noted, Housewarden. I'd best get started on learning to fall safely.”

A brief flash of alarm showed on Vil’s face as his eyes went wide. “Fall?!”

Letting his grin show in full, Copper gave a nod, a bow to his Housewarden, and a two-fingered salute to his Vice-Housewarden. “I'll see you both later!”

And with that, he darted out from the room, feeling his heart drumming behind his ribs with excitement. This wasn't a hard order, this was a challenge. He would eventually have to thank Vil later down the road for this, but for now, he wanted to get to practicing. If he would learn how to make a daring escape from his dorm room via the window with his wind magic, he would need to practice falling. All he needed to do now was convince Coach Vargas to teach him to fall well without raising suspicions. Nothing was going to hold him back.

“Beauté!” Rook was practically beaming as Copper rounded a corner and disappeared from sight. “Such vigor and audacity suits that adventurous nature of his! He's going to become his own wonderful example of our dorm's spirit of tenacity, wouldn't you agree?”

“I'll agree to the part about him having utter audacity, for now,” Vil grumbled. Although, despite the fact Copper couldn't see it, his Housewarden almost smiled over the freshman's undaunted spirit. “Nothing is going to hold him back.”

————

Taglist: @blithesharem @elenauaurs @inmateofthemind @ramshacklerumble @tixdixl

@distant-velleity @rainesol @thehollowwriter @theleechyskrunkly @twst-migraine (DM me if you'd like to be added or removed from the taglist for my TWST OCs stuff)

[thatssonanii]

Chapter Four

Warnings: Cursing, 18+, excuse any typos

Author's Note: I'm glad yall are enjoying it so far. Thank you for the asks you're sending in. Don't forget to interact and share the poets as well, that helps me a lot with all of this! Tell me what yall think of the addition of the texts. Also any gifs I use belongs to @annoyedkayah2395 ! I forgot to say that before but they're all made by her! My favorite gif maker! Enjoy!

Masterlist

Chapter 3

For the morning and most of the afternoon Jon and Trinity kept the couple apart trying to get unfurnished out of both of them. The only way they were going to be able to help the way they agreed to was to do so. The mystery behind Nadine's attitude towards Zilla plagued them and from the outside looking in, the married couple knew not trying to figure it out would be detrimental to the young couple's relationship. While Jon and Zilla played the game in his man cave, Trinity and Moriah were sitting on the floor in her vanity room going through her wigs. 

"Have you talked to your mom since Zilla said what he said?" 

Moriah shook her head as she brushed through a hot pink wig. "Nope, I'm sure she's not happy. She was already mad that I hadn't called her in three months but I just couldn't."

"Couldn't what?" Trinity asked picking up a wig to brush. 

She shrugged haphazardly. "I couldn't deal with her. On top of the stress of starting my job, Zilla's training and maintaining our relationship, I couldn't deal with the smart shit she says and the jabs she throws. The only reason I even called her was because Zilla said something."

"How does it make you feel when she says something about your relationship or Zilla?"

"It pisses me off, it always has. I hate it."

Trinity nodded. 

"Did it stop during the eight years he was gone?"

She scoffed, "No, it just wasn't as frequent. I was mad at him but that didn't mean that she could say the shit she was saying, you know? When I was a freshman in college was when it started to taper off a little."

"Cause you were away at college?"

"Nope. Cause I started dating this guy," Moriah explained softly, "But once she found out that he was a pre-med and that he came from money, it picked back up. About how he was such a better choice and could do this and that for me."

Trinity raised her brows and shook her head. "Did that hurt your relationship with him?"

"Eventually. We were together two years too long."

"What happened?"

"We went to Georgia for Christmas break because I missed my dad, I talked my mom into going and that was a bad idea." She chuckled. "The whole time she was telling my dad how great Thomas was and all that other crap. And I remember seeing my dad looking at him with this hard face, when I looked at Thomas I realized why."

"What happened?"

"It was because he had this big ass grin on his face like he was enjoying being talked to at the expense of someone else. At some point, him and my dad were able to talk and it made my dad like him even less. Christmas morning he kept alluding to asking me to marry him, my dad flat out said no."

"He clearly wasn't a good person but I'm sorry that was your mom's fault. She made him feel like that was okay."

"You're right but he was also really arrogant, he just hid it well majority of our relationship."

"So what happened? Did he propose anyway?" Trinity asked switching out wigs.

"After my dad said no, my mom stepped in to say her peace and my dad asked me what I wanted to do. Told them that I wasn't ready to get married, I was barely 20."

"You weren't ready or you didn't wanna marry that specific person?" She asked with a brow raised making Moriah laugh. 

"Both," she said quickly, "And my parents knew that, my mother was pissed. Then he made this big scene saying how I was stupid for even thinking about Zilla, he called him something else, and for thinking that I would have a good life with a felon. My mother of course agreed, telling me not to ruin my life."

"The nerve. He showed his true colors then."

"Yeah so my dad kicked him out right then, after he left my dad and mom argued. About what, I'm not really sure. I went to my room to call Ma and tell her Merry Christmas."

"That's sweet that you and her talked while he was gone." Trinity cooed passing a satin wig bag to her. "It sounds like your parents were on two different levels. Were they always like that?"

Moriah carefully placed the wig into the bag then at back on her hands. "Yes and no. From what I remember when they were married, they were happy but my dad bit his tongue a lot for her except when it came to me."

"Yeah? How long were they married?"

"Uuuh they got married like three years before I was born and got divorced a little bit after my eleventh birthday so fourteen years. A long time."

"Damn, why did they divorce?"

She shrugged. "All I know is my dad left his job at the time for his dream job and we were gonna have to move to Georgia and then I went from crying cause I was gonna have to leave Texas and Zilla to crying cause my dad was gonna have to leave me."

"Were they acting any different beforehand?"

"My mom was. She was so mean especially to my dad. That was when she started to vocalize to Ma that she didn't like Zilla or us being friends. Before it was just in the house, she'd tell my dad and me and occasionally say it while she knew he was in the house."

Trinity frowned, "She was taking her divorce out on yall?"

"I don't think so, I don't know really honestly."

"So let's talk about something that you do know," Trinity suggested with a small smile, "You gotta set boundaries with your mom, Rye."

She sighed sadly. "I try but she doesn't care. She tells me to stop being dramatic or stop being a baby."

"If she can't respect your boundaries then you need to have consequences. She's your mom but she doesn't get to disrespect you or your relationship." Trinity explained, maintaining eye contact. "You love him, don't you?"

"Of course."

"You wanna stay together?"

Moriah nodded. 

"Then you need to do what you need to do. If you don't, you're gonna let her ruin your relationship."

"Yeah … I know. I gotta figure something out."

Down in Jon's mancave, the men were playing Tekken 7 having conversation here and there outside of the trash talking. Between the married couple, Trinity had a much better way with words and getting information slyly while her husband lacks that certain skill.

"You been talkin to your woman?" Jon asked keeping his eyes on the screen, pressing buttons. 

Zilla glanced at him a few times out the corner of his eyes, making sure not to let his character to beat. "Huh?"

"Have you been talkin to Rye?"

"Uuh I live with her, I talk to her every day."

Jon sucked his teeth. "I mean about yo feelings, Uce. You letting her know if you good or if you're not good?"

Humming, Zilla focused back on the game. That was the same question his mom asked him damn near every day. He wouldn't say it out loud but he was tired of that question. 

"She know I'm good."

"That mean no," Jon laughed, "That's ya woman, man. You don't have to hide shit from her. Especially when she already know when you not good."

He shook his head. "Nah, she don't. I'm good."

"Sayin that don't make it true," Jon reminded him putting his focus back into the game for a moment to make sure he didn't lose the round, "Tell me this. After you zone out and you get ya bearings back, is she watching you or staring?"

"I mean yeah but her ass always starin a hole in my face."

"Okay, does she have the usual look in her eyes or is it different?"

"Ion know," he shrugged, "Different."

"Okay so she know, I'm telling you. Yall known each other long enough that she know when you not okay and you know when she not okay. What's the point of having her if you can't talk to her?"

"I can talk to her, I just don't want to. Therapy was enough talkin, ion wanna talk about it no more." He responded honestly. 

Jon paused the game to turn to his cousin. "I know you don't want to but it's good to talk about it. That shit gon start coming out in other ways that won't be good for you or your relationship."

Zilla sat back on the sofa, inhaling and exhaling deeply. "Ion wanna make her sad with my sad shit. Especially when she gotta deal with her weird ass mama."

"Do you care if she tells you her sad shit?"

"No," he answered quickly. 

"So why you think she care of you tell her your sad shit?"

He shrugged. "Don't know. Shit hard."

"I know but it's worth it. Start small then grow, you'll feel better. I'm telling you."

"I hear you."

"Yall got a six hour drive back, use some of that time to start."

The phone call with his ex-wife still fresh on his mind Hassan decided to reach out to someone he knew would understand his feelings and thoughts. He would always love Nadine but her actions would always have a wedge between them. He sat in his den with the football game on mute and the phone call on speaker.

"Did our children call you to be a referee?"

Hassan laughed loudly, "Nope, that is a job meant solely for you. Neither of them ever like my referee style. How are you, Leata?"

"I'm pretty good. How about you?"

"I uuuh," he thought rubbing through his beard, "I'm alright. Didi called me yesterday."

Leata laughed, "I'm sure that was fun. What is it about my son this time?"

"It was them both apparently," he chuckled, "Rye hasn't called her in three months and as a thank you Zilla told her about them getting busy on the sofa."

Unable to help herself, Leata laughed loudly into the phone. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I know he shouldn't have but I'll be dammed if she didn't bring it in herself."

He laughed, "My thoughts exactly. But apparently that conversation gave her the urge to check on our babygirl. Although it's obvious that he's taken very good care of her."

She snorted. "That's obvious. She's going to visit them?"

"Ha! You know she's not going right now. She's wanting me to go."

"Awwee and you're gonna do it for your dear Didi," Leata joked. 

"Negative," he answered jokingly, "I told her I would but I was already planning on going down there. I was calling to see when you were gonna visit."

"I'm not sure, I didn't wanna crowd them. Plus I was kind of hoping they'd come back for Thanksgiving or Christmas."

He hummed thinking, "Well Thanksgiving is next month so maybe they will. I can't wait that long or Didi will be up my ass. I'll probably go in the next couple weeks."

"She won't," she laughed, "She's too busy up Rye and Zilla's ass but okay. If they don't come for Thanksgiving, I'll probably go down there. If you wanna come down."

"That's no problem. Make sure you invite our favorite person."

Leata whistled. "Favorite is generous but of course. Moriah would never hear the end of it."

"Right. We'll talk soon. Call if you or our kids needs anything."

"Same to you, Hassan. Make sure you check on your Didi."

While Hassan and Leata spoke, Nadine was making a phone call of her own. She had spent most of the day before into the night doing searching until she found what she was looking for. The conversation with Zilla burned her up on the inside, he had beat her at her own game momentarily. 

A deep baritone voice flowed through the line. "Hello."

"Well, well, Dr. Gardner. How are you?" 

"I'm not doctor yet but I'm well. Who is this?" 

"Nadine Parker. It's been a little while, Thomas. How's medical school?"

"Oh yes ma'am. It's been pretty good. How have you been? How's Moriah?"

Nadine smiled hearing his question. "I'm good. Moriah is fine, she moved out to Florida. She's working at Lakeland General now in the emergency department."

"Is she really?" He asked excitedly. "I'm in pediatrics there."

Nadine feigned surprise. "You do? Such a small world."

"I'll have to go down and see her. Is she single?"

Nadine groaned softly, "Unfortunately, she's not but I'm sure seeing you would make her come to her senses."

"Who is she's dating? Is he competition?"

She scoffed and laughed. "God, no. The jail bird could never compete with a doctor, son."

"Future doctor," he chuckled, "But noted. Do you when she works next?"

"Tomorrow, 7am to 7pm."

"Great, I'll be there tomorrow. Is she really with that felon?" He asked with a hint of laughter. 

"Unfortunately she is. He's the one who moved her to Florida to wrestle of all things," she spat. "But it works out because you're there and you can show her the mistake she's made."

Thomas snorted, "Wrestling? I definitely have nothing to worry about, they drop like flies anyway. Thank you for calling me."

"Oh no, thank you, Thomas. You're saving my baby. Save my number and keep me updated."

"Yes ma'am. Have a good day."

"You too, son."

Happy with herself, Nadine did a little dance as she typed out a message to her daughter. The sun was going to start shining for her soon, all she had to do was be patient. Though she would have to suffer for a little bit longer, it would all be worth it to be rid of the man in her daughter's life. 

Moriah's phone went off as they were leaving Jon and Trinity's neighborhood. The rest of their time visiting was spent with all four of them together, talking and playing. Their lives aren't bad in Orlando at all but it felt good to be with family for a few days as that's what they were used to. 

"What's wrong?" Zilla asked seeing the frown on her face.

She shook her head. "Nothing, my mom texted me but it's weird."

"Weird how, Fat?"

"Ima read it to you," she responded still confused, "I love you guys. You both are gonna have an amazing day tomorrow. Call me after work, sweetheart."

It was Zilla's turn to frown. "That don't sound like Ms. Nadine. She either high, in distress or plottin."

"Exactly and knowing my mama, she's plotting." Moriah sat quietly thinking then groaned. "You don't think she's gonna pop up, do you? I'm not prepared for that."

He shrugged, "Ion know but if she does she can have the bedroom and we'll take the sofa."

Moriah pushed his shoulder, laughing. "Whatever you're about to say or thinking, just don't."

He laughed. "I wasn't gon say shit but I'm glad you and me on the same page. She better stay in the room if she don't wanna see Zilla and Fat gettin busy."

"Isayah Fatu! If she's in town, you're not getting any."

"Bullshit," he laughed, "If that makes you feel good to say but I know the truth, Fat."

"And what is the truth?"

Zilla looked at her from the road, a wide smile on her face. "Don't act like you don't know. Them nights that you stayed at home instead of with me, what happened most of the time?"

"Don't know what you're talking about, Fatu," she answered trying to keep her laugh in. 

"You don't remember texting and calling me to come over after she went to sleep?"

"Nope, I didn't do that."

He laughed, "Oh you didn't? So you ain't call me poutin when I would tell you no? And I guess it wasn't you that sent me them videos either?"

She shook her head starting to laugh. "Nope, nope and nope. Wasn't me."

"You sure? I still got the videos," he grabbed for his phone and she snatched it laughing. 

"Don't do that. I did not have sex with you in her house."

"You ain't sex with me in her house? Oh right cause I fucked you in her house. Got it." 

Moriah covered her face laughing. "Fuckin hate you. You didn't have to say that. Filthy ass mouth."

"And you love it too. Don't you?" He asked in a lower tone. 

She stared at the side of face. "I'm not doing this with you."

He put a hand on her bare thigh as he drove, squeezing. "Tell me you love it, Fat. Come on."

Looking between his hand and his face, Moriah scrunched her face playfully. "Fine, yes, I love it."

He hummed, "You love what?"

"Zay, no."

"Ima leave you alone when you tell me what I wanna hear."

She huffed softly, squirming in her seat. "I love your filthy ass mouth," she mumbled.

Smacking her thigh, he moved his hand back to the steering wheel, a smirk on his face. "That's my girl."

"You are a demon. Just 100% pure demon."

"Yeah and you like that shit too," he laughed. 

The couple rode quietly for the next couple hours with Moriah going in and out of sleep. As he drove, Zilla thought about the conversation he had with Jon and tried to work out how to start the conversation. 

"You have like a date or anything yet?"

"For my debut?" He paused got her answer. "Not yet. I got a meeting with Shawn tomorrow I think it is too talk about all that."

"Let me know so I can make sure I'm off and so I can make sure your family is there cause you'll forget."

He chuckled a bit. "Appreciate you."

"Are you excited?"

"Yeah but it's kinda fucking me up though."

Moriah listened quietly, giving her all of her attention. 

"I'm excited but kinda sad too. My pops ain't ever missed nothin so I still expect him to be there," he explained keeping his eyes on the road, "And when I don't see him in the crowd or wherever I am, that shit gets me."

"Baby," she pouted as she reached over to rub the back of his neck, "He's not there physically but he's always there. You remember those pictures from your first match? The photographer was complaining and worried cause he thought you were gonna hate the pictures."

"Was he? Why? The pictures was dope." He asked glancing quickly at her. 

"Yeah, because no matter what angle or where he moved that bright light was in every single picture." She laughed a little. "And when he was talking to me and your mom about it, your mom looked at the pictures, looked at him and was like it's just his dad, don't worry. So nonchalantly and she laughed with me saying how he was determined to be in your pictures."

Hearing that made him feel somewhat better, he remembered looking at the pictures thinking that same thing about the light but kept it to himself. Knowing that they thought the same thing let him know that he wasn't just trying to make that true. 

"Damn," he smiled, "That's crazy. Sound like em though."

"It does. I know that you're still gonna scan the crowd for him, just know that he'll be there and he'll let you know. Hopefully it won't be a bright ass light all the time," she joked, "But either way, he's gonna show up for his baby boy."

He grabbed her hand, bringing it to his lips to kiss it then locked their fingers. "Thank you, Fat. I needed to hear that."

"Don't thank me for that, it's what I'm here for. I'm good for more than just cooking for you and getting busy, you know."

He laughed heartily, "Noted, baby. Ima remember that."

After dropping Moriah at the hospital the next morning, Zilla went to the Performance Center instead of going home for a couple hours. Hardly anyone was there that time of morning which meant less people for him to talk to and more time to get a workout in. While he was walking on the treadmill, he felt a hand on his back and stopped the machine immediately. He snatched his headphones off then turned around with a dial on his face. 

"My bad, man. I ain't mean no harm. Just wanted to come speak, that's all." The man explained. "Trick. Good to meet you."

Zilla nodded wiping his face with his towel. "Shit, you good. Nice to meet you too. Zilla."

Trick smiled a little, "You already know I know who you are. Ain't no need in acting like that, man."

He shrugged modestly. "I appreciate that but I'm just me, just Zilla."

"Whether you Zilla or just Zilla, we know you are and you better know that shit too. Especially around here."

Zilla squinted at his words. "What that mean?"

"Some of these people around here vicious is all I'm sayin."

"Mmm, I hear you."

"Listen I know we just met and you have no reason to believe me but I'm bein sincere," Trick told him sincerely, "Me and Melo dealt with it, shit a lotta good people went through it. Just tryna look out for you. From one man to another."

Zilla nodded, he was unsure about Trick and his words. They sounded sincere enough but in this world he could never be too sure. 

"I gotta get to a meeting so ima move around." 

Not waiting for a response, Zilla went to the locker room to change before his meeting and thirty minutes later he was sitting across from Shawn Michaels. 

"I won't keep you long, I know you have stuff to do around here but we need to talk debut for a second. I like to involve talent in their storyline and for them to be comfortable with what they're doing," he explained clasping his hands, "When you're comfortable the work is times better. Understand?"

"Yes sir, I got you."

"Alright so that being said we were thinking the last week of November. Gives us all enough time to work things out. Does that sound good to you or do you need more time?"

"Nah, that's good. I can do that."

"We think you'd work great as heel unless you think face is something you wanna try," Shawn paused, "Booker thinks highly of you as heel though."

Zilla shook his head, "Heel. I like being heel. It's fun for me bein like that."

Shawn nodded, writing a few things down. "Alright, heel it is. I'm gonna get with Hunter and Paul to come up with a little something for you but we also want you to come up with something too to bring to us. All of our resources are open to you, talk to your cousins I'm sure they'll help you out. I can put you in touch with some other guys that wouldn't mind helping you either."

He nodded thinking it over. "Alright, I'll let you know if I need em."

"You have a week before you meet with myself, Paul and Hunter. So don't wait too long."

"What's wrong, baby? They said it was an emergency. Are you hurt?" 

As soon as the charge nurse told Moriah it was an important phone call from Zilla, her heart was in her throat. The few feet to the phone felt like miles because her mind had automatically went to the worst. 

"Nothin wrong, I'm not hurt, Fat. Breathe, baby." He assured calmly. 

"Toni said you said it was an emergency. What is it?" She asked still stressing. 

He chuckled, "Its a emergency but not a bad one. I promise."

"Zay," she sighed trying to calm herself and her nerves "Don't scare me like that."

"My bad, baby. She just wasn't tryna give you the phone and I needed to talk to my baby. It's important."

She exhaled on a chuckle. "Start talking and hurry up, fool."

"Zilla got his debut date, baby!"

Moriah squealed alerting few of the doctors and nurses around her including Toni. She whispered an apology. 

"When? When? I'm gonna take off for it right now."

"Tuesday after Thanksgiving! They gon keep me heel too."

Moriah teared up a little but quickly wiped her tears away. "I'll be there in the front row with my sign. I'm happy for you, Zay."

"That make me feel good. Thank you, Fat."

"You're welcome. I'm taking you out to celebrate my first day off. Somewhere special." She said softly. 

He chuckled. "Word? I'm lookin forward to it."

"Good but I gotta go. I'll see you when you get here and do not block the door again."

"You need curbside service though," he laughed, "Don't work too hard. Zilla love you."

"Moriah loves you more, Zilla."

After she hung up, Toni came to stand to her left with a knowing smile on her face. Toni had been extremely welcoming to her and friendly since her first day. She was older than Moriah but it didn't bother them. 

"From the squealing and the smile on your face, am I to assume that there was nothing wrong?" She asked in a hushed tone. 

Moriah giggled. "Maybe."

"Uhuh so what did Mr. Man want? Did he interrupt my ED to say he was thinking about you?" She joked. 

"Noo," Moriah sung out, "He got some good news and wants to share it with his baby."

"What was it?"

Moriah smirked playfully. "I would tell you but don't wanna interrupt your ED even more." 

"You're on my list, DeBreaux."

Moriah laughed going towards the room, she heard her name being called. 

After her shift, Moriah gathered her things then went to the nurses station to talk to Toni. She was wasting time since Zilla was running a few minutes behind. She didn't mind as she knew he spent a little more time at the PC to talk to Booker.

"What are you getting into tonight?" 

"Nothing at all since I gotta be back here in the morning. Pick dinner up, eat, and fall asleep to whatever movie we pick out." Moriah laughed. 

Toni rolled her eyes playfully. "You are such a old woman. Why don't you and Mr. Man go out?"

She shook her head. "Cause I know he's tired from training plus he's grumpy when he's tired."

"He grumpy or you're grumpy?"

"Who's side are you on?" She asked jokingly. "We are gonna go out when I'm off though. Gonna take my man on a date."

"Ooooh a date, huh? Should I get the pregnancy tests ready?"

"Absolutely not ma'am. No babies, not right now. But what you can do is go ahead and approve my day off."

"It's not even November yet, Moriah," she laughed, "Hell, we ain't even hit October yet."

Moriah pouted at her. "It'll be October in a few days but pleeeease. I wanna make sure I'm off and I'm there. Oooh I got an idea."

Toni folded her arms, laughing at her younger coworker. "What's your plan?"

"You should take off too and come with me."

"To a wrestling show? No ma'am plus I'm not gonna be in town." Toni laughed at her pout. "Dr. Miller coming in hot."

Before Moriah could say anything, Dr. Miller was standing right next to her prompting her to take a step over. She smiled politely. 

"You heading out, Moriah?"

She looked at her bag and purse,  making Toni laugh softly, then back at the doctor. "Yup, I am."

He laughed a little. "I didn't notice your bag and stuff, I'm about to head out too. Been a long day."

Moriah nodded slowly and looked to Toni for help, who just shook her head laughing.

"Right so I was thinking um," he trailed off trying to find his words and nerves again. 

While Toni and Moriah waited for him to spit it out, Zilla walked into the ED. He had been calling his girlfriend with no answer so came in to check on her. His face scrunched when he laid eyes on her and saw the doctor standing close to her. Waiting for a few nurses and patients to pass in front of him, he approached his girlfriend from behind and slid his hand around her neck to her throat, gently leaning her head back. He kissed her lips a few times before letting her go, allowing his hand to rest on her waist. 

"You okay?" She asked looking at him. 

He nodded, sizing Dr. Miller up. "I'm straight. You ain't answer so I came to make sure you was aight."

Toni covered her laugh watching the scene unfold in front of her. Moriah checked her phone seeing the missed calls. 

"Oh I'm sorry, babe. I was talking to Toni and then Dr. Miller came up. Which let me not be rude … babe, this is the charge nurse, Toni and this is Dr. Miller," she said sweetly, "Yall this is my boyfriend, Zilla."

Toni stuck her hand out to Zilla still laughing, "Finally I get to meet Mr. Man who interrupted my ED."

"My bad, Toni," he laughed, "Ima do it again though."

Toni laughed. "For your sake it better not be a real emergency cause I'm not giving her the phone again. Dr. Miller, don't be rude. Speak."

Dr. Miller looked between all three, actively tryna avoid the scowl on Zilla's face. "Not ride, just didn't wanna interrupt. Nice to meet you. Zilla is it?"

Zilla tilted his head a little. "That's what I said, uce."

Moriah glared at Toni, who kept laughing. "Okay so yall have a good night. Let's go, babe."

"Wait, wait," Toni called out reaching across the station to grab Moriah's arm as she tried to go, "Don't you remember that Dr. Miller was about to tell you what he was thinking. Go head, Dr. Miller. Tell Moriah."

He scratched the back of his neck, "Oh I uh I was just gonna see if Moriah wanted to get a drink with me to relax after work. As uh as … as co-workers."

Moriah mouthed to Toni that she was gonna hurt her as Toni continued to laugh while Zilla held Dr. Miller's stare, silently daring him to look away. 

"She good, uce. I got all the relaxation she need. Come on, Fat."

Moriah waved to them before leaving. When they got to their car, Zilla helped her in before going to the driver side. She watched him as he drove, a slight frown on her face that made him laugh. 

"You always watchin me, man? What you want?"

She pushed his arm, "You know what. Why you do that?"

"Do what? Come check on you?" He laughed. "I was being a good boyfriend."

"By scaring that poor man. He was so nervous, Zay."

"Good, he should be. He was too close to you. Talkin bout gettin a drink, fuck outta here." He fussed as he sped through traffic. "Thought you was gon go for that? Naaah, not my Fat."

A smile slowly made its way onto her face, she poked at his face. He swatted her hand away. 

"Chill with that."

She kept going. "Is my Zilla jealous? Is that what I hear?"

"Ain't nobody jealous."

"Mmmm … you felt some type of way. You've never seen anybody flirt with me? Not since you been out." She teased.

He looked over at her for a moment not saying anything. 

"Its okay, I kinda liked seeing you like that. Plus Dr. Miller is a lot. I've been turning him down for the last month."

"Let me know if he bother you again."

Moriah giggled. "Yes sir."

"Aight now, you enjoyin it a little too much, Fat." He chuckled. 

She shrugged playfully. "After dinner are we calling your mom or did you already call?"

"I wasn't gon call her without you. She'd be mad if I did that anyway, whenever I talk to her she stay askin if I checked on you and if you got what you need."

"Yup cause I'm her favorite, not you."

"If it wasn't for me, yall wouldn't even know each other," he exclaimed playfully. 

"Oooh the jealously bug just bit you up today, huh?"

"Since you got jokes, you gon be at work tomorrow with bites."

She stopped laughing. "Wait, that's my funny. Don't do that."

"Ooooh it ain't funny no more, Fat?" He laughed. 

"Noooo. Last time you did that, I had bites everywhere when I met your grandma. And my mama thought you was beating me up."

"Shit, I was just not in the way she was thinking. But that was your fault cause you thought you was funny. I'm funnier though, Fat."

She folded her arms, pouting. "What if I say sorry?"

"Too late for that, babygirl. Just prepare yourself."

Thomas got off the elevator a quarter pass seven, making a beeline for the emergency department. One of the patients he was helping with needed assistance so he wasn't able to leave in time. Making it to the nurses station, he went to Toni.

"What do you need, Thomas?" She asked not looking up from her paperwork. 

He looked around as he spoke. "Nurse DeBreaux, is she here?"

"No, she's not," she answered now looking at him, "Why are you looking for her? There are plenty of nurses in Pediatrics where you are assigned."

"I needed to ask her a question about a patient that was in the ED," he lied quickly, "It's not an emergency. When does she work again?"

"I can call her for you, Thomas."

"No, just tell me when she works. I'll come back."

Toni hummed. "Tomorrow at 7am."

"Thank you, Toni. I owe you."

"Uhuh, don't get yourself into any trouble now."

He flashed her a quick smile before leaving. Toni sat with the interaction for a moment, replaying it in her head. Something felt weird to her but she brushed it off.

[nokingsonlyfooles]

I did not survive The Belko Experiment

You can stream this movie for free, and the spousecritter and I did. I heard James Gunn was involved and it was "like a cross between Office Space and Battle Royale" and we thought, "Hell yeah." We expected absurdist comedy. We got a halfway plot switch to a brutal anti-authoritarian screed that failed to stick the landing and just ended with a sick joke.

I'm glad it exists and I think it said things that need saying, but I didn't enjoy it and I won't watch it again. You're free to make up your own mind on that.

But I would like to share my personal experience with a similar "game."

We got to the point in the movie where the authoritarian shitstain was separating the older folks for a culling - the rules were, if the workers didn't kill an arbitrary amount of people in an arbitrary amount of time, the higher ups would kill twice as many people.

My spousecritter objected with disbelief, "Why would they do what he says? They know he is going to kill them!"

And I knew why. I hadn't thought about it in a long time, but I knew. I said, "They just have to kill the first one who pushes back..." and while I was saying this, they did, "and it has to be fast and brutal. Then the rest of them won't. They don't have enough time to think."

And I had to further explain that I knew this because a high school Environmental Science student shot me in the head.

Not with a real gun. This was a "game," Columbine had barely happened, and we weren't being collectively sensitive about school shootings yet.

It wasn't really a game or an experiment. It was rigged from the start. We were supposed to learn a lesson about the uneven distribution of resources - it is bad, and causes people to do bad things. Simple. Oversimplified, in fact, and pretty pointless for that reason. But this is a class wherein I got a good grade for "saving" an island environment in SimIsle by raising money with off-shore oil drilling, so... I appreciate that the teacher was trying.

We were divided into groups, proportionate to how the population of the world exists, with proportionate resources. This "First World" has all the food and money, the "Third World" has all the people and the "Second World" has a fairish amount of each. Here's the food, each one of you has some money, get enough calories to survive by the end of Round One or you will die.

Oh, and to make sure you take it seriously, if you die, you will fail this exercise.

Now, I had some real bad circumstances. I had a total breakdown freshman year, all my grades were shit that year, and if I wanted a GPA that looked college-ready (like my abusive parents wanted me to have) I needed straight As with no margin of error. I was doing well in Environmental Science, but if I failed that exercise, there would've been... let's be gentle and inclusive and call it "disproportionate real-world negative consequences."

I can't have been the only kid in that situation. It wouldn't have been all of us, maybe not even most of us, but enough of us were motivated and the chaos of trying to survive without enough food for everyone commenced.

I was in the Third World, with most of the class. The others did not think of sharing their food with us in the time allotted, if such a thing would've even been allowed. We had a few kids selected to be government officials, and they had a military. The military had the ability to "kill" us.

Demonstrably, there was not enough food for everyone to survive the round and the clock was ticking. The government tried to get us to line up and purchase our food in an orderly manner, and the ones at the back of the line would clearly die at the end of the round.

In this milling mass of desperate high-schoolers, I (an anarchist in egg form) refused to stay where I was put and cut the line. And before I could open my mouth to protest, a "soldier" pulled out a finger gun and shot me. "Boom. You're dead. Go sit down."

"I... Buh..." I do not have an easy time talking when my emotions get the better of me in situations I don't understand. Not that it would've made any difference.

"Boom," said the teenaged boy whose grades were not nearly as good as mine and who managed to get made into a soldier, with a smile. Maybe it was revenge, maybe just relief. "You're dead. Go sit down."

I staggered over to the designated "dead" area and sat on the floor. I was the first. I sat there by myself until the end of the round.

There was slightly more food for everyone, given that I'd died, but still nowhere near enough. I think I couple more kids got killed for fighting with each other, (I'm not sure. The infighting might not've started until Round Two) but the biggest influx starved to death because they were at the end of the line and there wasn't enough food for them, as intended.

One of my fellow dead human beings muttered, "This isn't fair," and I agreed. There were a few more rounds, but the point was the headcount at the end. How many dead people were from the Third World group? Most of 'em. A few from the Second, and none from the First.

There, children. This is why there's famine in Africa (it's really not). Oh, and I was just kidding about failing you. This wasn't for credit.

I felt relieved and horrible, which I suppose was the point, and then the bell rang and we all went to our next class.

The Belko Experiment gave its victims all day. We had about forty minutes. Either way, that is not enough time for a lot of scared human beings to come up with rational solutions. Within these narrow boundaries, there can be no revolution, no humanitarian aid, no simple kindness. People are gonna die so let's start making decisions NOW! Only the dead ones have a minute to think and go, "This isn't fair," and they're not playing the game anymore.

This is not how a person does science. It is a particularly brutal method of storytelling, and, as an adult with more agency and experience, I think it's garbage. If you need to see people behave like snarling animals to make your point, there are much easier ways to force them to do that. But, the people running these "experiments" don't trust human beings to turn on each other, so they stack the deck from a position of authority with a threat of violence - whether they understand they're threatening violence or not.

If you leave people alone and let them exist out of crisis mode, sometimes they help each other. I think, with better social circumstances, that would happen more often, and faster. But even as it is, sometimes they help each other. And that's not what we want to see. If people help each other when we leave them alone in a game environment... What the hell are we doing that prevents them from doing that in the real world?

Uh, I think we're, um, stacking the deck from a position of authority with a threat of violence, fam. Just to start. There's a lot of other stuff, it's real complicated, but we're definitely doing that.

We don't have to. We don't have bombs in our heads or a teacher who can ruin our lives with a red pen. We have police and politicians, I guess, but they're usually not in the room and they can't control you if you don't do what they say. School's out. And you can just feed people. Ever wonder what else you can do?

[filthybonnet]

why Ramin when there's literally EVERY other Phantom tho

I'm going to answer this legit instead of being like "like whoever you like."

So 2004 I was super excited to go the midnight showing of "The Phantom of the Opera" movie. I hadn't had the chance to see the musical in person, coming from a family in which I was their main introduction to theatre when I was accidentally put into theatre class my freshman year of high school and decided I loved it. My sister and I fell in love the proshot of "Cats" (which my drama teacher introduced me to) and that was the first professional theatre show we saw live. We saw a tour of it in 1999.

Anyway...so 2004 I'm in college super excited to finally see Phantom. I leave that movie theater so disappointed. I was like "I thought he was supposed to be able to sing. Also the fuck was Minnie Driver doing there?" After that I'm like "Ew I want nothing to do with Phantom."

2011: I'm in NYC for the first time but I'm with major red flag boyfriend (which is a different story). We're walking by what I later learn is The Majestic to get to our hotel. At the time I just see lots of Phantom posters and ads. I stop and look at them and am like The stage production has to be better than that movie. I ask Ex if we can go see it and he's all like we don't have the time. (of course we had the time, it was just not what he wanted to do).

End of 2017/Early 2018: I got "unlawfully terminated" from my job. I'm wasting a lot of time on tumblr. A few of my mutuals post a lot of Phantom content, lots of pictures of various Christine's in the dressing robe is what I remember the most. I like what I see and I'm like I should give Phantom another chance, I have all this free time. HOWEVER, I decide this time as I was a literature major, I'm going to the source material first. I look up the novel, read up on the newer translations, pick the one I like best. I fall in love. I finish the thing in two days.

I decide I'm going to suck it up and give the 2004 movie another chance after loving the novel so much. I contact my sister because I know she has a copy as an actress and a Gerald Butler lover. I tell her my reason. She replies, "No, I have something better for you. Come over." So while her husband is at work we have lunch, she curls my hair and she puts on The Phantom of the Opera Royal Albert Hall.

I wasn't paying too much attention at the moment because my sister was asking something about my hair but at that same exact moment Ramin's "Insolent Boy!" boomed through her sound system. No lie (and TMI) but my nipples instantly went hard and I turned towards the TV and was like "Hello! Who is this?" Him and Sierra were barely out on stage in the boat and I was already googling Ramin Karimloo.

In two seconds with just his voice, Ramin Karimloo made me fall back in love with "The Phantom of the Opera" In 2004 when I left that movie theater saying "I thought the Phantom was supposed to be able to sing" Ramin turned that around in two seconds. And then I saw him act. And then while watching it I found shirtless pictures of him on the internet.

I have seen many boots since and have seen 4 Phantoms live (5 counting Ramin but not for this point) and none of them do it for me like Ramin. I've had other Christine's impress me more than Sierra since (like Holly Ann Hull is my top now. Saw her 3 times live). And after seeing Ramin as Phantom 4 times that's it. Even his Phantom in Italy had differences from his RAH Phantom but still just such perfection. Seeing it person he just becomes the Phantom. It was like I knew I it was Ramin but all you could see was Phantom, not Ramin acting Phantom.

This might not satisfy you because the way your question is worded seems to imply you're not that fond of him. And I know some of the "phandom" considers him a gateway Phantom. However he's very much loved by lots of people and was chosen for reasons.

[jezabatlovesbats]

2023: The Year of Milestones

What a crazy year it's been, am I right? I graduated high school, and I'm now a college freshman. We got some new films that were memed a lot and made a lot of cash. The Owl House and Summer Camp Island ended. I got into some new things as well. Unikitty: Big Bright World turned 5 in January 2023, which is why I crappily edited in the milestone doodle I did for it. You can find it here because I made an ask blog for BBW. For anyone who doesn't yet know me, Unikitty and the BBW AU mean a lot to me.

Following that milestone, I realized there were more things I liked that were turning 5, 10, 15, 20, 25 or 30 that year than I thought, and those are very noteworthy digits to me. I wanted to create anniversary drawings for them in celebration. But, because I was procrastinating from them and I also had other stuff going on, I couldn't. 

Instead of individual milestone drawings, I decided to compile all of them into one big tribute. For the same reasons, though, I had to delay it to January of 2024. I was aiming to have it ready to go by about New Years' Eve. But then on Christmas day, me and my brothers were surprised with a trip to California, and we left three days later.

Without further padding out, I'll talk about the things from which the characters are here partying with me, and what those things mean to me. I'll also talk about what the 5 on my hot chocolate mug means, because I'm not 5 years old, and I wasn't born on Leap Day. Here we go! 

We're starting with the oldest thing featured, The Nightmare Before Christmas, which came out in 1993 and hit 30 years. Me and my family went to see it in a theater back in October of 2020, leading to me growing fascinated by it, its characters and its worldbuilding. I LOVE ME SOME COOL AND INTERESTINGLY DEVELOPED WORLDS, OKAY? THE HOLIDAY FOREST IS NO EXCEPTION! I thought of some other towns based on New Years, birthdays and Earth Day. I also thought up some backstory for Lock, Shock and Barrel because they're my favorite characters and I need more of them. Honestly, I felt like I was late to the party. Like, why hadn't I watched it sooner? But let me tell you, you can get invested in something at any time, no matter how dead its fandom is. I think the reason why TNBC stuck with me is because of its spooky-fun atmosphere. I'm not a fan of horror movies; when I go into the garage or go to pee at night, I have this subconscious fear that something's gonna jump out and slash me in two. I sleep with a nightlight on, too. But if it's clear that the spooks are non-threatening (which the Halloween Town citizens made clear in This is Halloween) and there's no graphic violence or gore anywhere, I'm all for it. After all, I enjoy both cute and dark things, and that's how I present myself. Also, I made an entry for TheITinFIT's YTP collab for TNBC in observance of its 30th anniversary, and you can watch it at the link in the replies!

Finding Nemo came out in 2003, so it's hit 20 years. Let me tell you- I was scared of this movie when I was younger. I wouldn't watch it because of the part where Marlin and Dory were sucked up by that whale, or when that pelican swallowed them (not Nigel; he's a good egg). I was also scared of that Octonauts episode where Dashi gets stuck inside a whale shark. I've always had this fear of getting swallowed by a larger being. And this is just my personal opinion, but I'm disgusted by vore. It's not for me, and it's never been. I can handle those scenes now- after all, Dory and Marlin made it out alive both times (and Dashi did, too). Later on, I had a greater appreciation for FN. Like spooky-fun stuff, another favorite, uh, aesthetic of mine is oceans and the sea. I dunno- sea animals are cool, and I've been fascinated with them since I was a kid. I had this phase where I wanted to be a marine biologist. There's just something so relaxing, but simultaneously exciting about Finding Nemo, and for that reason, it's now one of my favorites from Pixar. 

I was listening to the theme song for this show while writing this. Teen Titans also premiered in 2003, and I'm kind of ashamed to admit that I was introduced to it by Teen Titans Go. In 2018, we saw Teen Titans Go To The Movies in theaters, and I followed TTG up until, like, 2021. By that point, it just wasn't enjoyable for me anymore, but I still very much enjoy the classic series. I watched it from start to finish in 2019 and got super into it, especially the HIVE Five. On Wattpad, I created a random story that was basically a blog for the HIVE. I wrote them profiles, let my followers ask them questions, and did incorrect quotes. It's deleted now, though. I was weirdly obsessed with See-More to the point where I made an OC that was his cousin, made OCs based on the other four senses, and shipped him with Scorpion (though they broke up later on). My mom printed the HIVE symbol on a black T-shirt, and it's still in my closet today. Besides them, one of my other favorite characters is Raven. Any character with a purple and black color scheme will catch my eye, but I also found her history and character traits interesting to the point where she influenced one of my favorite OCs I've made. I've got the entire Teen Titans series on DVD, including the Trouble in Tokyo movie. It was one of the first things I could say was one of my fandoms, so it's got a special place in my heart. By the way, I’d LOVE a (good) HIVE Five movie. 

Another thing I absolutely ADORE that came out of 2003 was the Mario & Luigi RPG series. I mean, I've been playing games in the entire Super Mario franchise since I was young. With this series, I'd always be playing Partners in Time, Bowser's Inside Story and Dream Team on my DS, but in both games, I could never get past two parts. For PiT, I couldn't beat the Swiggler, and in BiS, I couldn't get past the Pump Works area inside Bowser. (Like, I couldn't find the Stingler, even though it was actually super easy. You know, the sparky bzzt thing that opens that one door?) Dream Team was the only game my younger self actually completed, and I think that's why it was the game I liked the most. We got Paper Jam when it came out, and though me and my brothers fought over who got to play it for a while, I played it and beat it. I REALLY started getting invested in the M&L series in 2017, when the Superstar Saga remake came out. Now, as I said earlier, big, elaborate worlds with multiple places to explore and lots of characters will have my attention! So, I was hyped to traverse the Beanbean Kingdom. I never played the original Superstar Saga because we never owned any type of Gameboy. But, I got the remake, played it, and beat both SS and Bowser's minions. One thing led to another, and I fell back down the M&L hole. I even wrote a Prince and the Pauper-like story about Prince Peasley and Red, one of my OCs, but it's also deleted now. I had the idea that the series would be a great TV show, leading to me developing an AU in which I write it like one, with my own characters and kingdoms. Some of you may be thinking that if the M&L series appeals to me, then I would enjoy Paper Mario, too. If you are, I think you might be right! 

As I just said, I loved Dream Team the most, and it's still my favorite game in the series. For this occasion, I was planning on writing a post on why Dream Team was, in fact, a CLASSIC, but again- because of personal business and procrastination, I didn't. I forgot all of my points anyway. But I will say this: even with all the long tutorials, the visuals in the game are absolutely GORGEOUS. I love how well-detailed everything is. The colors were so vibrant and dream-like (just like the game title, guys!). And, the music is AWESOME. In fact, it's one of my favorite game soundtracks ever. I want more of the music with lyrics! I already wrote some for three of them! Luigi really got his time to shine, and his and Mario's brotherliness thoughout the game was just SO amazing and sweet. Luigi believes in Mario so much, and he's willing to fight alongside him, and they're unstoppable together! Also, the Pi'illos were and still are an extremely interesting concept to me, to the point where I thought up a whole Elena of Avalor-type character arc for Prince Dreambert. To me, he seems like a prince learning to rule his land in a different time after being stuck in a nightmare chunk for who knows how long. Anyways, Dream Team is amazing. I freakin' love it. Not much more needed to be said. 

Hitting 15 years in 2023 is one of my all-time favorite movies ever, WALL-E! I have loved and appreciated this movie ever sense I was a literal toddler! I made a bunch of little WALL-E stories, so I’ve been writing fanfiction as early as then. I just didn’t know what that was yet. I remember pretending to be EVE and M-O, the latter of whom is my favorite character. I loved it when I was younger, but I didn’t realize just how amazing it was until I started fixating on it again in 2021. When you revisit something, you can notice lots of things you hadn’t seen before and understand why you love it and what makes it so great. Like, I came to better understand WALL-E’s story and themes, and appreciate how gorgeous it is. I watched Hello, Dolly because of WALL-E, and the parallels I noticed blew my little mind. Those old stories I wrote when I was 5 influenced that WALL-E human AU I made. I think I might bring back my gijinkas and create ones for other things with non-human characters because I miss them. I think the reason why this movie appeals to me is because WALL-E himself is fun and perky and curious (and music-loving) in a similar way to myself. And, I’m a firm believer that there’s more to life than my job. I think that because of WALL-E, I enjoy sci-fi stories and worlds just as much as fantasy stories and worlds. I’m also a sucker for stories that combine sci-fi with fantasy. I still love and appreciate WALL-E so, so, SOOO much, and it’s such a huge part of my life. Autistic WALL-E is real to me. 

A movie that came out the same year as WALL-E that I also still love a lot is Ponyo. It came out in the US a year later, but I’m still including it here. Ponyo was my introduction to Studio Ghibli, and I watched it as often as I did WALL-E back in the day. Me and my brother LOVED this movie and would watch it while in in the car a lot of the time. I remember that my brother even started pretending to be a character called “Sonyo.” I think he also started liking ham. I already said how much I love oceans and fantasies! I don’t really watch a lot of anime or movies from Japan, so this was actually my first time drawing Sosuke and Ponyo. I think they came out pretty great. If it hadn’t been for this movie, though, I don’t think I would have wanted to check out Ghibli’s other films. I did watch Doraemon, Yokai Watch and some Pokémon XY Kalos Quest, so I think I still may have wanted to see other anime shows like Eizouken (which I watched all 12 episodes of). But, I’ve got Ponyo to thank for introducing me to Japanese animation as a whole, and in 2021, I watched all of Ghibli’s other movies (except for Grave of the Fireflies). I think I’ll rewatch Spirited Away and Arrietty sometime later on. I really want to see The Boy and the Heron.

There’s a good number of 10s here, by which I mean these things all came out in 2013. The earliest of these is Steven Universe, which came out in May of that year. I got into Unikitty when the last few episodes of SU were being hyped up. I remember watching a clip for Tragic Magic before YouTube slapped the For Kids thing on it, and most the comments were like, “Give us Legs From Here to Homeworld!” So later on in, like, 2019, I got curious and started watching the show from late Season 3 onwards. My first episode was Earthlings. Then, I watched the whole show from start to finish when CN did the Every Steven Ever thing before the movie came out. I watched the movie past my bedtime ‘cause it premiered on a school night. I made myself a gemsona, my brother started watching the movie and getting interested, and I watched the whole series with him including Future. Even with its flaws, and despite what people say about it, it was an enjoyable watch for us! It’s not the best thing ever because nothing is, but I’m on the side of defending it. Even with its flaws and all the shade it got thrown at it, it paved the way for lots of great things and helped so many people feel understood. This show is legendary in more ways than one, and it still has my respect. 

I’ve been interested in Ever After High since it first launched in 2013. I never had any of the dolls, but I think I watched a few episodes of the series. I remember reading Shannon Hale’s books and owning some of the other toys (like a lockable diary). I was interested in Monster High as well (creepy/fun and cute style! Right up my alley!), but I mostly leaned towards Ever After High. I’d also search the web and look up information about the characters. Raven’s included here because, once again, purple and black color scheme! Yay! But it’s mainly because I remember wanting to be like her. I wanted to be a rebel, and I began calling myself one. Back then, I interpreted her as being so defiant of her prewritten destiny that she believed following it was dumb. But I’ve grown since then, and I came to realize that she isn’t like that. Far from that image, in fact. It’s such a HUGE shame what happened to EAH, but I’m glad there are still people out there who show interest in it. I currently follow someone who’s got lots of ideas for a reboot! Sign me up!

I loved lots of other games in the Super Mario franchise, like Mario Party 9 and New Super Mario Bros. for the DS. My great enjoyment of Super Mario 3D World pretty much goes hand-in-hand with Ever After High. Why, you may ask? Because of the weird crossovers I wrote. Let me explain! Hear me out! I was a well-known enthusiast for the game’s Sprixies. You know, those little fairy creatures? I even had names for the Sprixie princesses based on their colors: Greenia, Yellowlina, Bluia, Orangia, Violet, Aquamarina and Redna. (Get it? Edna, but red?) These days, I still call the purple one Violet, but I gave the rest of them other nicknames. Also, back then, I had the red one be the queen of the Sprixies even though the green one is implied to be the face of the seven. Back to the ridiculous EAH crossovers. I made Sprixie sisters for the female characters in the series. The male characters had Toad brothers. It wasn’t just canon characters, either- I also made Sprixie and Toad siblings for people’s OCs I found on the internet. I even typed up a story about the characters and their, quote-unquote, siblings. But yeah- Super Mario 3D world was ridiculously fun, the music was bouncy and catchy, and the graphics are actually really pretty. In the last worlds, whenever we didn’t have enough green stars to advance, I’d organize the Daily Green Star Hunt. Games like this are the reason why I love searching levels for treasures and trinkets as I go along, and I don’t want to advance until all is found. I’m at a point in my life where I completed SM3DW (and also Bowser’s Fury, since we got that edition) to its entirety with everything you could collect in the game. This game stands as one of my top favorites in the Mario franchise as a whole, so much so that I wanted to include it in Mario & Luigi Rewritten.

I love a lot of films from Pixar, but when I was 9, I especially loved Monsters University. The most noteworthy memory I have with it, which is also the most important one to me, is when I had my tonsils removed. By the way, that’s the only time I ever had surgery done on me. After it happened, the next three or so weeks consisted of me eating nothing but ice cream, taking nasty medicine, and messing around with an iPad on this app called Toontastic (if anyone here has heard of it, you’re a legend to me). I also rented MU out on the TV without my parents’ permission and watched it on repeat. I loved to doodle the movie’s background characters and include my doodles of them into my Toontastic cartoons. (Yeah- the app had a thing where you could draw your own characters and backdrops. Also, off-topic, but Toontastic is the reason I know about Deng Xiaoping.) Also, I shipped the frats and sororities with each other. Like, all six of each one. The RORs with the HSSs, the EEKs with the JOXs, the PNKs with Oozma Kappa. Except for Mike, whom I knew was with Celia, and Sulley, who I shipped with… Carla the Killer Claws lady? That wasn’t the best idea. Johnny x Rosie is a ship I still remember quite fondly. Like I said with WALL-E, the older you get, the more you notice why you love a film so much and what makes it good. I really appreciate MU’s message about how it’s okay to fail. And yes, it is! Because if failure wasn’t an option, you wouldn’t know how to pick yourself back up on your feet when things go wrong. Even if you don’t achieve the dreams you hope for, that doesn’t mean you’re done for and there aren’t other doors you can go through. You still matter. My brother and I made a bunch of jokes about MU when I started college. Of course, it’s not what college is actually like, but I still love it and the original Monsters Inc. If I ever see Steve Buscemi, Billy Crystal or any of the other people from this movie in real life, I’m telling them about me watching it while recovering from surgery.

I’ve always gravitated towards the Mario franchise more than the Sonic franchise. And while I have played Mario and Sonic at London 2012, I didn’t like to play anything solely Sonic except for Sonic Lost World. I know, I know- it wasn’t well-received, but that doesn’t make me any less of someone who enjoys Sonic. Back then, I loved watching cutscenes and walkthroughs of the game, and I was particularly fascinated by the Deadly Six. I can only remember looking up pictures of them and reading fics about them. But, that led me to come back to my affinity for them in 2020. I became interested in fleshing out their characters more and imagining what their pasts were like. I do that a lot when I hear people say a thing is half-baked or cookie-cutter of mediocre/bad. I also created my own Zeti characters as well. I played other Sonic games like Colors and Forces, I saw the movies, and I thought up my Mobian characters. Also, I watched Snapcube’s SA2 fandub. I was there to witness Eggman go on the moon. I’d love to branch out to more Sonic stuff, so if anyone would like to recommend me some, please do! I’m all ears! If you’ve seen Take Me To Snurch (Snail Church), a version of that with the Zeti is stuck in my head now. 🎶 Take me to zurch. I’ll worship like a Zeti at the zhrine of your zife… 

Oof… I’m just gonna say that Frozen fever was inescapable back in the day to tons of kids, including me. When I was a kid, I was a huge copycat. I’d be into things because my friends were into them, and I’d plagiarize other people’s stuff almost all of the time. So, I don’t really remember if I was genuinely interested in Frozen. But apparently, I was enough to have my 9th birthday party be themed around it. Also, I remember that shortly afterwards, I had a sleepover with my friends from dance class, and we watched the movie together (not all of it). Right before we went to bed, we were all singing Let it Go as loud as we could. Frozen’s impacted my young life enough for me to take inspiration from it for Broken and Frozen. But, I agree when people say we need to warm up.

Lastly, there’s my milestone, which just so happens to be Christmas. On Christmas of 2018, I got a new computer, and my parents told me they’d set up the Wattpad account I’ve wanted since before I turned 13. I was first introduced to Wattpad after watching a video about fanfiction and reading the MC:SM Rewritten series (even though it’s now inactive). I talked about the weird little things I liked in real life, but while people listened, I never felt like they really knew what I was talking about. I started uploading my random thoughts, characters and stories to Wattpad, and I started making friends with people who were interested in the same things as me. When I did that, I really felt understood. The same happened when I joined DeviantArt in 2019, and for a while, it was just those two. Later on, in 2021, I hopped on Tumblr, YouTube and AO3. Then came Discord, and most recently, Amino. I was and still am fiercely loyal to my creations and my pals online. Through my high points and my mess-ups, I’ll want to connect with my closest friends and mutuals whenever I can. I’ve found enjoyment in lots of things, and I’ve come so far in terms of developing my artistic skills. When online, I found it easier to connect with people because I could more easily seek out people I had things in common with. What’s especially important to me is that connecting in this way is how I met one of my best friends ever, and while on my trip, I got to see them in real life. I hope it happens again someday. It’s not good to be chronically online, of course. But, being here has helped me discover myself and find peace within this world in ways you can’t even imagine. To everyone I’ve ever interacted with, thank you for five wonderful years! 

Wow! This sure was a lot. To everyone I’ve ever befriended and followed over these things and others, and to everyone who followed me, I can’t thank you enough for being here! You guys are the reason I keep logging in almost every day and why I’m still on my feet. Especially you, Hino! Thank you so, so, SO much! 

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!! 🎆💜🖤🦇

[kimwexlers-brownhair]

I can't believe I hadn't thought about this before but I wonder what Caroline's relationship with Shiv would be like after the crash. I imagine it'd still be pretty strained since she'd already been divorced from Logan for a few years at least by that point, and of course she'd be very emotionally reserved while Shiv was missing, but I think she would feel the pain of that loss and probably blame Logan a lot like, "his own damned plane and he couldn't even find it". And then when Shiv came back I think Caroline would try to be more gentle with her but still feels rejected, and when rumors started buzzing around about what her daughter had to do to survive I'm sure she'd be spooked by it.

I can't believe I never thought about it either! Dang, I am going to start listing you as a co-writer, you're saving my ass here.

Caroline being the reigning Queen of Avoidance with Occasional Bursts of Defiance would most likely withdraw more and more from the situation. She would end phone calls early with the boys because "it's all just a bit much" for her. When Shiv is found, Caroline doesn't visit until she shows up unexpectedly at Bryn Mawr Shiv's freshman year (I do intend to get into how Shiv almost immediately wants to start her life back up again on her return -- inheriting some of her mum's avoidant tendencies by thinking that will remove her completely from the crash -- and starts college the following term). Like her surprise visit when they were little when she tried to take them away, Caroline love bombs Shiv and takes her out shopping, then tries to get her to move back with her to England "to properly rest and rejuvinate".

And of course, Shiv says no, and I for one don't blame her. She'd been presumed dead for nineteen months and all she got from her mom was a quick letter and phone call that it was clear Caroline couldn't wait to end. Now she's here wanting to interrupt and uproot Shiv's life after she's finally started returning to some version of normal? Yeah, no thanks, mom.

And of course, Caroline takes that as more proof Shiv deems her beneath her without taking into account how selfish her own motives are. She loves Shiv deeply, so once she perceives the slightest bit of resistance from her, Shiv becomes Enemy no. 1. That's when the "impish" little jokes about just what Shiv got up to start. In her own passive-aggressive way she's also trying to get Shiv to open up to her, but saying, "well, you know what they say pork tastes like" when Shiv takes another serving of pork loin doesn't make Shiv willing to open her heart to her mother for some reason.

(I actually can't decide if Shiv goes the Tai route of vegetarianism when she gets back or not. My guess is she tries because she can't be normal around meat so soon after everything, but Logan browbeats her out of it because it only makes people speculate more.)