#it was kind of difficult to limit myself for this post but I think this is a good roundup of favs

[repurposedmeatlocker]

got tagged by @motionpicturesforcarrie (tysm!!) to post my favorite first watches of 2024.

In order from when I saw them: Lost in Translation (2003) dir. Sofia Coppola / Dancer in the Dark (2000) dir. Lars von Trier / Beavis and Butt-Head Do America (1996) dir. Mike Judge / Film (1965) dir. Alan Schneider / Perfect Blue (1997) dir. Satoshi Kon / Three Colours: Blue (1993) dir. Krzysztof Kieślowski / Paris, Texas (1984) dir. Wim Wenders / It's Such a Beautiful Day (2012) dir. Don Hertzfeldt / Ninja Scroll (1993) dir. Yoshiaki Kawajiri / 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) dir. Stanley Kubrick

I know I kind of went over 9 films, but I had to include 2001 in some fashion.

I'll tag: @princessmo @mikejudge @rogersandclarke @johnwatersvhs @birdie-hop @majortomwaits @westerberg (no pressure ofc) and if anyone else sees this and wants to give it a go feel free to tag : )

[kathaynesart]

Replica Holiday Special Winners!

Happy Holidays everyone! It's that time of year and you know what that means! Time to announce the winners for the DTIYS Replica Holiday Special Cover!

I received so many wonderful submissions. Far more than I had anticipated! They were all so unique and creative and it was an absolute joy to look at each and every one of them! I really underestimated however how difficult it would be to choose with them all being so unique from each other. In the end, I decided to gauge the top picks on how well their cover captured the "essence" of what this Special is going to be like! Without further ado, here are the winners.

HONORABLE MENTION - @matchstique

Buddy! I love this piece so dang much! It has so much character and perfectly displays the wacky hijinks we can expect as well as the huge amount of stress our poor boys are under during these trying, pregnancy times. The movement and colors work so well and make me excited for what comes next! Seldom do I see pregnant females shown as the badasses they are, but you have gone and turned Cassandra into an absolute icon with this piece! Bless you!

3RD PLACE - @thegunnsara

Sara, the shear amount of craft you put into your art is STAGGERING. Every scuff on Raph's shell and wisp of smoke screams of a quality I can only hope to attain someday. I literally want to be you when I grow up! That said, the concept of this piece is also fantastic. One of the things I'm must excited about for this Special is getting to see Raph and Casey as they were and witnessing the strong bond they share. I love them dearly and this cover captures their strength and tenacity so perfectly. Gods among men.

2ND PLACE - @cupcakeslushie

Slushie, this cover is so damn fun and dynamic that I can't stop looking at it! Your attention to detail and composition are masterful and the fact that you could fit such a bombastic battle into such a limited space speaks to how crazy talented you are! You also do a wonderful job of retaining both the intensity of the apocalypse but also that playful edge that Rise always manages to retain! It's definitely the cover that would catch my eye on a shelf and make me want to turn the page to see what happens next!

1ST PLACE - @abbeyofcyn

Cyn, the moment I saw this cover, I gasped! It's funny because this is both a piece I could have totally seen myself doing had I done the cover, yet crafted in a unique way I could have never come up with on my own! On top of that, this slick composition scratches my little designer brain juuust right. The use of the hands motif is such a great element because to me, it encapsulates the conflicting themes of family/parenthood with the drama of what it means to be human. On top of that, having each character as one of the digits both connected to and encircling Casey is such a wonderful touch that really drives the symbolism home. Somehow, you managed to peer into the future and perfectly capture how the finale of this special is going to feel. Thank you so much Cyn for such a wonderful piece!

~~~~~~~~~

Now that I think about it, looking back on these winners as a set, all four them actually do an amazing job as individual covers for each of the four "acts" that will make up this special. That was not at all my intention, but it kind of worked out perfectly for that. Gets me all emotional!

I also definitely want to put a spotlight on the other amazing submissions, many of which made it SO close to the top slots! I was going to post these pieces individually but I was worried people wouldn't then go to their blogs to view the covers, so instead have a compilation and links to the full versions! Please check out everyones amazing covers and give them some love. They all worked really hard and it means so much to me. Thank you everyone!

@dreamundraws - LINK @honeylief - LINK @gemini-forest - LINK @memorydarkness - LINK @skullythefriendlyskullface - LINK @v-albion - LINK @its-wabby-stuff - LINK @yris-latteyi - LINK @reagi-df - LINK @chaoscontrol50 - LINK / LINK @murasakibonnet - LINK @hitwiththetmnt - LINK @xandriagreat - LINK @karonkar - LINK @sunydays - LINK (sorry my dear, yours did not appear on my hashtag reference at first! D: But still love it!) @quailaz - LINK @delicatechildwitch - LINK

Thank you again all of you! You all did such an amazing job!

[cripplecharacters]

Hi, I’m concerned about whether there is anything regarding disability that are strictly off limits for abled author to write about. For example, I know it’s meaningless for an abled author to write about what it means to be disabled, or the disabled experience. Is there anything else that would be infringing on boundaries & risk speaking over actual disabled authors? I know including non-POV disabled characters who just happen to be disabled are fine with proper research. But I feel as if I might be treading some risky ground here because I have a POV character who is disabled. Regarding that, I want to know if some things are off limits if I am abled myself (such as their personal feelings regarding their disability - it’d be odd if I didn’t mention this at all since they’re a POV character, but I don’t know to what extent/if i should explore this at all, especially since it’s a result of injury).

Hello!

Outside of the examples you gave ("what it means/how it is to be disabled") I don't anything is strictly and always off limits for abled writers in general because disabled people will have such a wide range of opinions* on this that it'd be impossible to know what you can and can't do - it's better to just do it well and thoughtfully if you do decide to go for it.

*Examples: I know disabled people who don't want people without their disability to write characters with it at all, no exceptions. I really heavily dislike abled writers putting their disabled characters through nightmarish levels of ableism because it feels like torture porn or at least as exploitative. Someone else will be fine with abled writers doing literally anything. Some people see all non-OwnVoices representation as inspiration porn. Disabled people are too big and diverse of a group to come to a specific consensus.

There are areas where I think they should be more careful, like in stories where a character suddenly becomes disabled, as that can easily turn into a plotline that focuses on how disability is bad due to the missing nuances of such an experience. Even putting aside that there's a ton of room for factual errors on how recovery or just the medical side of things in general looks like, I feel like it can be difficult to write this kind of plot in detail if you don't have experience in it. For this kind of thing I believe that sensitivity readers are a must if you want it to be a major part of the story. If it's a minor one then it can be okay, especially if you aren't going into the emotional nitty-gritty of the whole process much.

There's also the obvious topic of tropes that I think abled writers should avoid - but as you probably seen on our blog, there will always be exceptions to them. Example: I always say to not put your character with a facial difference in a mask - but in this post I said it was fine if XYZ happened. Nuance and all. But putting tropes in just to be "subversive" usually comes off as cheap, assuming that they actually are subversive in the first place (which they usually aren't).

Tropes are tools, and they can be used well if the writers put effort in, and especially if they ask the group that the trope itself affects. They are bad if they're done mindlessly and without care for actual disabled people, and at the end of the day it depends on how the writer decides to use them. Don't just assume that your case is "special" and "totally different" from all those people who do use them wrong - these two groups often end up as a perfectly circular Venn diagram. Check with disabled readers first.

Having a POV disabled character is completely fine in my opinion. It's not like we are a completely alien, unrelatable concept to abled people. It can be done well, but it does also require more thought and effort to be put in. Again, I think that sensitivity readers can be incredibly helpful in a case like this.

And I think that it is important for the writer to just look at the page and ask: do I know enough to write about the character experiencing X? Because sometimes the answer will be no, and that's fine. Not even stories written by disabled people will touch on every single aspect of the disabled experience because it's so incredibly wide that there would be no place left for actual plot.

We also don't just sit around and think about how we feel about our disabilities. Sure, deciding how your character feels about it in the vague sense is helpful for characterization, but there's a ton of disabled people who treat their disability as a complete non-event. People like us who mod a blog about disability representation are very much a minority. Your character could just be like "oh yeah I guess I do use crutches, but it's been 10 years so I keep forgetting about it" and only actively think about that when the actual situation calls for it.

Your character could be 100% neutral about their disability and just think of their cane as something they carry around the same way they do with their house keys, or could be So Positive and make sure their cane compliments their outfit just right every time they leave the house. What I'd advise against is a character who dislikes their disability. Again, it can be done well if there's a lot of effort involved, but it's really not something I look forward to when we're talking about abled writers. Even if their intentions are good, or even if they want to show the diverse spectrum of disability (which again, is true! There absolutely are people who feel purely negatively about theirs), it feels weird. Like, why is this the story you want to tell? I think that in 99% of cases those kinds of characters are better left off to disabled writers who can actually offer something fresh to this.

Last thing that I want to add: unless you're writing about ableism, or time-accurate historical fiction, don't use slurs. If you want to refer to some things that use any of them (e.g. Cripplepunk) either shorten them (CPunk), beep the slur out, or at the very least acknowledge that they are slurs.

I hope that this helps,

mod Sasza

[violetasteracademic]

Yet again, a million years late but I cannot control when I must burrow in my hidey hole

2024 Fic Writer End of Year Roundup

Thank you for the tags, my beloved @rosanna-writer @foundress0fnothing @yourstarsmyscars

Answer and then tag three or more creators to keep the game going!

(If you're in my answers consider yourself tagged if you'd like to play!!)

1. How many words did you publish on AO3 in 2024?

This was my first year on AO3, and I posted 216,682 before the calendar year ended!

2. How many fics did you complete this year?

2, one longfic Golden Doe in a Valley of Shadow and a one shot, Before the Night Ends, made specifically for my beloved @theseersgarden and some beautiful Elriel art she had commissioned by Lulybot! (This one may technically not be finished... we shall see)

3. How many in progress or ongoing fics did you start this year?

Four in progress, all three parts of Velaris Memorial Hospital (which is kind of like one big intertwined Feysand, Nessian, and Elriel AU) and another long fic, A Court of Twisted Fate

4. What was your favorite thing you wrote?

Oh this is so hard. Everything I wrote was what I needed in the moment, so it's difficult to disentangle myself. But I do think Me, You and the Moon Part One and Two from A Court of Twisted Fate was one of my favorite experiences writing. Also some of my favorite things I wrote haven't been posted yet, so I can't share yet!

5. What piece was your most experimental or different from your usual style?

Absolutely Velaris Memorial Hospital. I have been writing third person limited fantasy and sci-fi for well over a decade, and have followed that in my fanfiction. Writing contemporary romance or modern AU in first person perspective was not something I ever imagined doing, but it has unlocked something in me. I am a huge contemporary romance reader, but writing has been an incredible new journey and I have so much newfound respect for first person perspective!

6. Did any fics surprise you - either while writing or their reception?

Again, Velaris Memorial Hospital. It is by far my smallest readership (which I expected, I am new to the Nessian and Feysand arena and of course there's a huge variety of ship and character preferences. Not everyone is a fan of all three brothers and all three sisters) but it has wound up by far being some of the most engaged and supportive readers, and I have been absolutely loving writing for it!

7. Do you have a fic you wrote and loved that went under the radar? (This is your sign to reblog/repost it!)

Hmmm it's a bit hard to say, I don't have have that many fics out and not a super good sense of this yet. I do think my Nessian fic, The Albatross has my lowest metrics overall. And writing for Nesta and Cassian has also unlocked something very deep and inspired within me. But VMH is an enormous project and kind of choose your own adventure, so I hope it gets some more love in the long run!

8. Who is an artist that inspired you?

Literally too many to count but I have to give the biggest shoutout to @elainemg97. Her artistry knows no bounds, and she is one of the best Elriel eggs out there. She is always kind and encourages positive fandom behavior, and is so encouraging and passionate about helping other artists grow and encouraging them on their journey! @stickyelectrons has such a beautiful eye for color, I just love what she manages (especially for Lucien) and I'm such a fan of @santkazoya and @tealeaves-and-rosepetals

9. Who is an author that inspired you?

Literally way way too many to count. @yourstarsmyscars, @rosanna-writer, @foundress0fnothing, @nikachansstuff, and citizenofvelaris are not only phenomenal writers but inspired beta readers and I feel so lucky to know them. @bloomingdarkgarden and @tealeaves-and-rosepetals are magic and pixie dust, truly phenomenal writers but also so available to support other writers and brainstorm and daydream with. I definitely have a lot more fic to read, I write much more often than I read so it leaves me pretty behind. But I'm sure I missed some and there are so many exceptional writers in this fandom!

Oh also, @tswaney17 has stepped away from fic writing but I'm SO excited for her journey repurposing I Do Bad Things With You into an original story for publishing!

10. Who is a new author you discovered?

See all of the above, but a special shoutout to @jasmineandcedar who writes such lovely short form pieces for Tumblr and did a Shakespeare inspired piece that had my jaw on the floor.

11. Did you do any collaborations? How did it start?

Before the Night Ends with @theseersgarden! It started just with @theseersgarden brainstorming ideas for a caption for an artwork in process, and trying to come up with a title/head canon/sweet moment to describe the scene. And then it spiraled into, wait a min... there's a whole ass fic here.

12. What accomplishments are you proudest of?

It has been really awesome to see how well received Golden Doe in a Valley of Shadow was. I try not to get too caught up in what fic is the most popular and whether or not I'm showing up on "best" lists, because art is subjective, and as I mentioned, I think some of my best work has had the smallest engagement. But Golden Doe in a Valley of Shadow was my first ever fic. I was a little baby on tumblr and thought maybe four or five people would read a few chapters. I had no idea it would take off in the way that it did, and it still stuns me to this day. Other than that, just writing consistently, and finding wonderful people who fill my cup and and are so supportive and encouraging.

13. What did you learn about writing or creating this year?

Fic writing is super different from original novel writing in a lot of ways, and I still feel like I'm getting my footing in a lot of ways. I find myself very often coming to my fellow writers being like- does this fly in fic culture? Am I overthinking this? But I think the heart of all creative writing is the same, which is trying to find the joy and a build a story that draws readers in and it's just a beautiful thing to invite people into the visions that take place in your mind, even if you are still learning and imperfect. Because you never know what will connect with someone. Also, shadows make great dildos.

14. Any advice you’d like to share with new or aspiring writers?

Don't be afraid of the work. Do not fear the muck. Lean into the trenches. I am a huge advocate for transparency in the writing process, and the writing world (fic especially) I think is extra guilty of uplifting the work that just flowed out of them and took no effort at all. Grabs face LISTEN TO ME. Your best work might be what you fought the hardest for. Your strongest scene might be the one that had you in a black pit of despair, extremely close to giving up. Writing is a craft. The only way to get better is to write, this is true. But many people write thousands and thousands of words and never improve, because of the notion that writing should be easy, that it can only happen when you are inspired and flowing and know what you are doing.

Do not fear the trenches. Do not shy away from the work. Not everything comes easily. That doesn't mean you are a bad writer or can't do it. DISPEL the ideas that writing should be easy or come naturally or not require deep effort and work.

15. What are your creative goals for 2025?

To focus back more on original work. I don't do well with working on more than one project at a time, and I really dug myself into it working on four stories at once. There is no room left for my novel writing, but I can't leave projects unfinished or they will weigh on me. Also continuing to figure out my place in fandom and sharing what I can while staying away from the things that drain me and take away my joy. OH and letting myself take more time. AO3 is an archive, the work will live on. Encouraging myself to be human and need rest and time away. It's so critical to detach from the need for a constant stream of validation, breathe, and focus on the work and your well being.

If you’re tagged in this, please consider yourself tagged for the game!

[fanfic-obsessed]

I have a prompt for you, in light of the recent (very entertaining) DCU aus you've posted. If you were going to do a batfam-are-cryptids-but-now-the-justice-leauge-meets-them thing, how would you do it?

Have I told you thank you yet, @somestorythoughts, your prompts and responses make me so happy. Also I almost always end up with  more to write, which is fun.

Now back to the important part.

Fair warning, I screw with ages and timelines with this one. There is no canon here

I think, as far as a cryptid status is concerned this will be a ‘Batman is a founding, and funding, member of the Justice League, but has never revealed his identity’ kind of idea (with all the precautions therein to make sure even the metas can’t guess his identity). There is some speculation throughout the Justice League that Batman does not actually have a civilian identity, that he is the spirit of justice possessing a cape and cowl (Seriously there were three attempted exorcisms).  It is known that Batman always works alone, and that no one is to set foot Gotham, a few of the youngest members disbelieve that Gotham even really exists. 

However there are always rumors that can’t quite be dispelled.  No one in the Justice League can figure out the Watchtower’s firewall (designed by Oracle). Through the years there have been half heard conversations by the JL that almost sound like a wellness check after a fight, going either direction over a com line they can’t access. Sometimes during particularly difficult fights masked strangers will appear, most of which fight with styles similar to Batman, only to vanish again without a word. A few swear they have caught code names (Robin…or maybe Red Robin…Or was it Red Hood…no it was really Black Bat…there might be a BatGirl????) but no one can confirm anything.

In addition, it is impossible to quell the rumor that entering Gotham uninvited means you will disappear.  Not every time and no one can figure out the difference between being escorted out and vanishing, but there have been several heroes from the community who vanished after entering Gotham over the years.

What’s really happening is that I love the Young Justice Team and want a way for it to work with Cryptid BatFam. 

Two of the most notable, the first but certainly not the last, were Bart Allen, Impulse, and Cassie Sandsmark, Wonder Girl who entered the city limits together to try to prove that they too could be heroes. Both were 15 when they vanished.  Unknown to anyone else, at the same time an unnamed clone of Clark Kent and Lex Luthor was also sent into Gotham, as a test of some kind. 

All three of them, for different reasons, entered feeling abandoned or dismissed by the people around them. So when they encountered Tim Drake, as Robin, age 14; he called dibs and adopted them on the spot (Tim: These are my children Cassie, Bart, and the newly named Connor. Yes, I carried them in my very own womb and I am very proud of all of them. No, I will not accept questions. Batkids: Cool! Niblings. Batman<sighs>: At least tell me you didn’t kill someone to acquire them. Tim: I just told you, I birthed them myself).  So Cassie, Bart, and Connor are absorbed into the BatFam. Both Bart and Cassie decide against telling anyone where they are, with Connor not really having anyone to tell.  It should also be noted that the JL avoided asking Batman about the whereabouts of the kids who vanished after entering Gotham, they didn’t want to admit where the kids had gone. 

Three years later, Jason, as Red Hood (Jason did not die here, though it was close. He still took on the moniker of Red Hood after a beating by the Joker), age 19 happens upon Roy Harper, age 20 after Roy had a fight with Oliver and does the same thing. Only Jason dragged Roy home and introduced Roy home as his newest brother, giving Bruce a crazy look that said under no uncertain terms that Bruce better break out the adoption papers immediately; never mind that Roy was not underage.  

At the same time Raven, originally 26, was de aged to about 8 due to an attempted possession by her father, accidentally portals into Gotham and practically climbs Dick Grayson,age 22, in fear. The effects of the spell and the portal wiped her memories past her physical age.  So now Dick has a daughter as well, who he thinks is a Gothamite since he never saw the portal.  As far as anyone from Justice League Dark can tell there was a portal leading to Gotham where Raven disappeared but no one knows what happened (Batman and his family are looking for an adult Raven and never connected her to the 8 year old Rachel that became Dick’s daughter).

Others also disappear, having been adopted by the Waynes

What I am saying is that Gotham is considered quite a bit more dangerous to the caped community and the Batfam encompasses a few people it might not have otherwise. I think it would be funnier if Batman was not aware of his family's cryptid status (It never occurs to him that his kids have never been invited to join any of the younger generation teams).

Something sparks a partial return of Raven’s, now around 14 or 15, memory, enough for Rachel (who is the current Robin) to realize she is Raven. At her request, Batman announces this at a meeting and her intention to remain Dick’s daughter and Bruce’s granddaughter.  The JL react confusingly (they are all losing their collective minds at the thought that Batman has kids AND grandkids).  His response that one of his sons made him a grandfather when the boy was 14 does not inspire confidence.  Eventually, and I do mean this takes ages, it leads to the entire Batfam coming up to the Watchtower.  In spite of the masks Barry recognizes Bart, and after a moment the Wonder’s also recognize Cassie. Both had been desperately missed (the feelings of abandonment had been a misunderstanding).  Though the Wonder’s and the Speedsters both try to hug their missing members, it becomes clear that you can pry them from their mother, Tim, introduced as Red Robin, only when Red Robin is dead. 

The Speedsters look at each other, shrug, and immediately start lobbying Red Robin for Visitation (it does not matter that Tim’s kids are all adults with their own lives in Gotham). The Wonders do not have a chance to do the same as Connor, code name Agent C (he decided he did not want to be a field Vigilante, instead he has taken on a support role, like Alfred, where he is their Mechanic/Mechanical Engineer), drops the bomb that he is a Clone of Superman and Lex Luthor (Connor had not been told enough by the scientists at CADMUS to know what was going on, or even if Lex was aware his DNA was being used but of course the Bats did a DNA, he didn’t even know what the lab was called or where to find it).

Superman does make the connection to CADMUS labs, which he had shut down a few years earlier-though he never put those reports in the Watchtower computers as he considered it an internal matter (Batman would like it noted that all of the Batfam reports end up in the watchtower computer and is irritated that the other heroes do not do the same). 

Connor had been the only ‘viable’ clone but all the records (whether viable or not) had been stamped with ‘failure’, so Superman had not known that there should be a clone of him out there somewhere.  Also the intervening years of being able to process, ‘hey this person I knew, and was once friends with, stole my genetic material to try and create a new person without my consent or knowledge’ without having to deal with the results of said actions (Compounded by the guilt of not being able to look at this miniature version of himself without making the connection to his enemy Lex and his violation, knowing intellectually that it was not Connors fault for being created or that Connor was created specifically to be a weapon against Superman, but still not able move on emotionally, not enough to be responsible for a child) added to the fact that it is pretty clear that Superman does not need to be responsible for Connor means that superman can verify that Connor is happy where he is, which he is. Then Superman can, with a clear conscience-since Batman is undeniably paranoid enough to have a plan if Connor becomes a villain or an actual problem, offer to help with unexpected powers and have Connor meet the rest of his family. 

So Red Robin is simultaneously mediating the reunion between his three children and their other families, all the while ready to take down a Cape that breathes wrong in their direction. 

Red Hood, sans helmet but with a mask, is creatively and rhythmically cursing Green Arrow out on behalf of Roy (I want you to picture a Red Hood that practices and excels in the art of Flyting).  Green Arrow had made an immediate, and poorly phrased, inquiry into Roy sobriety.  Roy has been sober for almost 3 years. 

Damian, codename Firebird, is critiquing several of the last major fights and their fighters while having a discussion about blades and underwater fighting with the Aqua family.  He is also keeping a protective eye on Nightwing and Robin, who are facing off against JLD (who would like to see if what happened to Raven is reversible-mostly to make sure she is healthy and whatever happened is stable, Nightwing and Robin are taking it to mean they want Raven back instead of Robin). 

Steph as Spoiler, Cass as Black Bat, and Duke as Orphan are explaining to a largely horrified audience of former Titans the complicated legacy of the Batman, Robin, and Batgirl names in Gotham (The current Batgirl, Helen Wayne-12 year old daughter of Selina Kyle and Bruce Wayne- is standing with Bruce and Alfred-mask firmly in place. She is new to the name and this is her first mission outside of Gotham). It is at this point that the Justice League finds out that there are a number of times when the Batman they dealt with was NOT the same person. Someone also brings up the rumor that Batman is actually a haunted piece of clothing, to the entire BatFams bemusement.

At no point during this process does anyone in the Batfam reveal their civilian identities (save the ones that are now known, like Bart, Cassie, and Roy).  They also do not admit to the fact that every single one of them steals and impersonates each other frequently (Tim holds the honor of having patrolled, handled an Arkham breakout, and met with someone outside of Gotham, and handled a world wide invasion in every vigilante identity from Gotham successfully).  

It also should be noted that this does not provide clarity to the Justice League about any topic regarding Gotham or its vigilantes.

[bucksaiga]

I do not want to do discourse but I am quite tired so feel free to scroll past this or ignore it idc

First and foremost I do not care if other positivity projects exist. They can exist in unique ways for unique reasons. It's a beautiful thing. I'm sure people love what they do and they're doing it for fun. Personally? I love what I do. A normal amount. And I do it my own way. Kinley Café is my heartbeat and it's always been a project that I deeply enjoy and that I am passionate about. I ask for nothing in return except the chance to touch other people's lives and make them smile by sending out your orders.

I am so comforted by the amount of love and support I receive. It's motivating and has helped me through difficult times. I have been so distracted spreading joy that I've basically breezed through what is usually the most difficult month of my life.

And yet. And yet!! I have been reported as spam so the café does not come up in searches (it's limited/partially shadowbanned I guess you can say. I constantly worry that this affects people getting notified when they receive treats because I want them to know someone is thinking of them. But I have been communicating with Tumblr about it, so don't worry too much). I have received phishing links in DMs and on the order form. And more recently, a password protected blog that hasn't had any activity in 40 days receives nearly a dozen notifications out of the blue because of a months old post circulating as some sort of gotcha, and I find out someone is telling people that I copied an idea (from myself btw) and sent out anons trying to encourage people to call me out over...stealing my own idea?

And I don't wanna hear "they didn't know it was me" because nobody asked me shit! I didn't show anybody any disrespect. In fact, I was being supportive! I showed love! I took the time out to make something because I wanted to continue to encourage the spread the positivity.

And yet, people made accusations even though I was being kind? Do you want a trampoline since you like fucking jumping to conclusions?

KC has been open for FIVE weeks. And I've dealt with all this in a short period of time for absolutely no reason. I've been nothing but kind and supportive of others. I genuinely and sincerely try my best.

I don't wanna let this taint something beautiful or let anything discourage me from doing this again. But I swear to god.....this shit is getting really annoying and bringing out the worst in me. lmao why am I fighting for my life during this little hiatus? I'm dedicating my free time to creating things, and collaborating with others just to spread love and kindness. I don't want anything but peace and quiet.

What's next? Do I have to keep dealing with dumbassery? Or can I go back to sending out treats and going on about my fucking business? Because I do not have time for this. I do not want all this static!!!

I've turned off reblogs. If you want to talk to me privately that's fine but this has been a little overwhelming and I just wanted to get this off my chest.

[communist-hatsunemiku]

Can i ask, just based on your tags on the post about copying, do you feel like reuploading someone else's art isnt harming the artist if they dont want it to be reuploaded?

I think the harm is brought onto the artists by the artist's themselves, for trying to police the spread of their work on the internet. It's a fundamentally wrongheaded endeavor, especially because bad faith actors do not give a shit if you put "DO NOT REUPLOAD" on your art. But that's kind of beside the point anyway.

I want you and everyone reading this to imagine what the internet would be like if people actually couldn't download and upload content freely, imagine if you couldn't right click and save an image file, or download a video from youtube. The internet would be a shadow of a shadow of what it is today. It would be a bleak, lifeless place, many amazing works of art and human expression would not exist, and access to stuff that did would be limited to people who either can pay for them, or just not be accessible, period. Lost media would be the norm, things you love could be gone in an instant with no way of getting them back. All human expression would be in real danger of just vanishing if someone's harddrive is fried. Piracy, and "illegal" downloading would be the only way to save things, and it would be much more difficult to do.

This is the real harm of this mindset behind "DO NOT REUPLOAD" watermarks. This is what's downstream of this copyright brained bullshit. Artists trying to push this are reactionary and I'm sorry but I don't respect it, especially when it comes to Miku art.

I do think, as evidenced by the way I run my blog, that crediting artists is very important! In a moral sense, and a practical one, providing the source on the art I post is the right thing to do. And if the art is already here on tumblr, reblogging it is preferable to posting it myself.

[bitethedevil]

What annoys you about fandom culture

Oh that’s a spicy question.

Had you asked me a couple of years ago, my answer would be very different from today. I was a proud member of the SuperWhoLock fandom on here as a kid (I still shudder to think about it), and that was usually what I first thought of when the word “fandom” was uttered.

I think I’ve had a pretty negative view on it for a very long time. Mostly I saw fandom culture as cringe. I later got diagnosed with autism and found out that many of the things I found awful and cringe about fandoms, was me internalizing the insecurity I had about my own hyperfixations and I was projecting that onto other people who were obsessed or passionate about certain subjects.

Now “cringe” is a term I’ve tried to kill in my own life. It has been difficult for me to be really unashamedly into something, but you’re on this blog, so you know I’ve certainly gotten somewhere with it lol. I also first and foremost would never put someone else down about their interests, no matter how borderline obsessive they might seem and how they express that obsession. Because if it happened to myself, I know how things like that would crush my enjoyment when I was younger. It’s a very “let people enjoy what they enjoy”-sort of mind set I’ve tried to develop.

Now, if there is something that annoys me, a part of it is related to the statement above: don’t yuck other people’s yum. It’s not too bad on tumblr (in my limited experience). A few negative posts might make it into the tags every now and again, but I don’t mind that too much. You’re allowed to hate the characters I love.

Any kind of media should be open for whatever interpretation the viewer/reader gets out of it. I even like reading Raphael-hate sometimes if the person has some arguments that I haven’t heard before. As you might have noticed from my humongous list of analyses posts, I like picking things apart, and I like seeing other people doing the same, even if it might be in a negative light.

What I don’t like is when it’s: “fuck this character! how can anyone like this character”. Like sure, fair, but don’t tag that specific character (I know that my examples have been pointed towards Raphael, but I know that some Raphael fans have done the same the other way around). I don’t particularly like the Emper*r, but I’ve tried my best to make sure those posts don’t end up in their tags.

These are things across characters though, but it happens within a specific fandom too. I’m not a huge fan of the posts that are like “this character would never (insert statement)”. I don’t like when a version or an opinion of a character becomes canonized through the fandom and presented as fact. This ties back to the thing about me liking to hear about multiple interpretations and that I think all of people’s personal interpretations are valid. It makes it so that media becomes set in stone and then you are unable to gain anymore from it. It ruins it. You don’t agree with a specific version of a character? Then don’t read it. Or do, and maybe gain a new perspective.

My other points would be those that are obvious: don't harass voice actors or any other real life people because you like a specific media or character. Don't be silly.

I also want to be fair and say that this is the first fandom that I have been super active in in years, and I've said again and again that I love this fanbase for how open and kind it is. I think it's the perfect fit for me tbh. I have dipped my toe in other, more popular fandoms but I have quickly found them too overwhelming, because you have to cater to very specific interests in order to even be heard if you are making content, which quickly creates a very limited eco-system and thus some of the problems above might emerge. Here there is a little bit of everything and when you type in the "raphael bg3"-tag, it isn't loaded with thousands of pages of content anymore. That makes me more curious about things I wouldn't normally be into and that broadens my horizon a bit. I like that.

(Thank you for the ask <3)

[tako-cafe]

Azul ED HCs

Idia's post for part 1

As the title says this is dealing with eating disorders so read at your own risk. This is also my own interpretation of the game content. You could and might read these lines in a different light, but this is how I see him.

Start with what I think he has: Anorexia. Through the events, card and homescreen voice lines, and main story it is clear he limits his calories and types of food he consumes. He has a unnamed calorie limit, exercises a certain amount daily, and does so for the sake of keeping in a certain weight he deems correct based around childhood bullying around his weight. Key reasons other than his obsession with his figure and weight are his calorie tracking to remain within a strict limit to a point of not eating even if hungry, A focus on healthy eating to a point he skips joining school events fully like halloween parties,and a limited diet ie he cut out his favorite foods deeming them unhealthy (his being listed as fried chicken). This post will go through and showcase everything I could find to back this up from game. note-will only add enough for context, look up or read game content for full stories, and of course spoilers if you haven't read these yet.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Jade mentioning Azul used to be an eater, Azul trying to hide why he isn't eating

Event: Terror is Trending

 Azul-get heartburn just watching Ruggie eat. Jade-Oh? I believe you could put him to shame if you felt so inclined Azul-Not another word. Jamil-For as little as you're eating, you've been going around eyeing everything. Is there a scheme in the works I should know about? Azul-Can't an honest businessman scope out the catering without being painted as some kind of villain? Jamil-You can't even relax on Halloween, huh?

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Floyd noticing his lack of eating

Azul's Dorm card-

Jade- Ugh, what a waste. And the carpaccio we had that day was so delicious, too. In any case, I imagine that growing up in a restaurant allowed him to try many different foods and keenly develop his sense of taste. He is a true gourmet.

Floyd-Then he should eat more. He only ever picks at his food these days.

example of his calorie limit being mentioned

Floyd-Hey, I'm thirsty. Can I have one of those drinks? We're up to our dorsal fins in the stuff.

Jade-A splendid idea. We should toast to Azul's success.

Azul-I've already hit my nutritional threshold for today, so I will pass.

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Birthday Boy-

Remembering eating as a slight negative memory

..They'd tell me,"Eat some of this,eat some of that!" In Hindsight, I wish I had complained about how excessive it all was...

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Home screen Lines-

school uniform- I wish they'd label how many calories are in each dish in the cafeteria. It makes keeping count so difficult.

outdoor wear- You think I've eaten too much? Oh, no, there should be no qualms with that today, since I've burned more calories than usual.

Ceremonial robes- Maybe I should tighten my belt a little...I prefer having a tight figure.

Halloween- I'll hold back on the treats, thank you. Accepting more and more of them will only increase my calorie intake for the day.

Birthday boy- heheh For my birthday, I decided that I will eat as I please without worrying about the calories.

You brought me food again? ...Is that your way of saying I look like I eat a lot?

Tsum- This Tsum...its roundness and plushness may be cute, but it gives me mixed feelings whenever I look at it.

GloMas- The aromas of butter and sugar permeates the air...The City of Flowers is overflowing with temptation. I must be more strict with myself than usual.

Homescreen lines have a mix talk about calorie counting, restriction, and body image talk in them.

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While I didn't go and collect the lines as screenshots like the Idia post this HC was more straightforward and went over a more well known disorder than his did. Everything listed above is what I remember being in game and are examples why I think he has Anorexia.

[prismatiger]

AGREE WITH YOUR PREVIOUS POST. I like mean Loop as a facade only, but we know they still care and love...

Now I have a question, what's your favorite Loop takes/headcanon

Oh my god I'm so sorry I took like two weeks to answer this one I prommy it's not bc I'm exclusively a hater or whatever. I just straight up forgot to answer Oopsie. I'm putting this under cut bc it got long enough that you all would shoot arrows at me for putting it on your dash

Anyways there's a lot of Loop Thangs I like frankly. A big one that I enjoy is when fic authors in postcanon make the transition of Loop into the party structure kind of rocky. Usually bc Loop's neuroses creating a level 12 psychic barrier between them and the party + the inherent awkwardness of meeting somebody who's apparently super close in a way (that you'll never fully understand) to one of your friends. Who let's be real I feel like half the party (coughIsabeauandMirabelle) would catch the aura of "oh they do not like us at all" from Loop. I want Loop to be happy and with their family but you just know this bitch is going to make it as difficult for themself on purpose. The Siffrin Special.

I also just generally like when they keep Loop as a star postcanon. I'm not at all a hater towards Human Loop (in fact I think it can be itself an interesting setup for a Loop fic) but I do like Loop as a star more thematically. Something about having to accept that things have changed and moving on from it regardless. Also bc Loop being dysphoric about their body scratches a very transgender projection itch in my brain Yessss little star you're stuck in a body that draws unwanted attention and which you have no control over how it looks and functions in a way that feels fundamentally wrong to you. (Pointing at canonically transgender character) Yooooo this guy is such a cool trans allegory omg

Hmm what else. This is more of a sloops thing but I always enjoy in fics when they lean into the fact it's selfcest frankly. I've become a selfcest enjoyer bc of this ship I'll never get over that act 5 dialogue abt the cautionary tale where Siffrin says he never understood the moral of the story bc the idea of having somebody just like him who understands him. Oh my gyoooooooooooooooood. I want them to melt into sludge I'm always thinking of that analogy from superflyghtheart on discord comparing Loop and Siffrin to endlings of an endangered species. 💥💥💥It's like. This is less sloopy now but I'm caught between the intersection in my head of "Loop would probably benefit from developing their own identity as a person separate from Siffrin bc they need Something they have control over" and "Loop is of the Siffrin Species and they are significantly too sentimental to let go of the shreds of what they used to have, especially after having lost all of it once already". Both of these things are yummy as fuck when ppl smarter than me explore them and they're kinda the main Story Paths for postcanon Loop anyways so I'm always winning. So like idk tldr I like it both when ppl have Loop diverge a lot as a person and when they have Loop try their best to stay as much of a Siffrin as possible!

I'm limiting myself to four paragraphs so you don't all want to hit me with hammers but I do have Loop Biology Headcanons. I've explained mythoughts on their guts before and don't feel like recounting them but whatever True #codacheetahwarriors remember my deranged rambling. ANYWAYS I kind of mentally run on the assumption of Loop's body as like. The Universe couldn't keep Loop in Siffrin's body, bc they needed Siffrin to be in it (and I guess a system situation introduces too many factors of its own? idk). The Universe operates with the goal of fulfilling wishes with the least intervention possible, so The Universe makes a body out of cheap inorganic material (star-scrap basically). Miniature star for a head fueling the body with Craft energy (I'm not going to get into my conspiracy that all Craft is the same here). Molds the star scrap into a vaguely Siffrin-shaped/sized vessel and plonks Loop's conscious into it and calls it a day. So Loop's body as a poor simulacrum of a human body is like. They're capable of breathing but they only really benefit from doing it on a psychological level. They can't eat or drink and don't have a mouth because it would require a significant level of added effort to make a digestive system, when they can just derive energy from their star. They don't have reproductive organs because they're not made from organic material anymore anyways. They don't need to sleep bc their body never gets tired but they still do it because it's not really a great idea to leave your brain on running for too long anyways.

I fucking lied I'm on paragraph five bc the block of text is annoying me. To continue that's all a preface to say I think it's super fun when Loop has body functions that are weird and unpredictable. Their little frizzles on their body are reactive to their emotions the same way their headstar is, and feel like static if you touch them. Their head has a vague boundary so their eyes have something to be rooted to but the function by which their optic nerves work is unclear to everybody including themself. They glow based on intensity of emotion and the temperature of their star changes via specific mood. Bc I think it would be fun if the battlefield in twohats when from ice cold to boiling hot frankly. Ok these are all just my headcanons (temperature one very loose though I'm not a hard subscriber to it) but they're not uniquely mine it's just examples of what I mean. One I don't have as a personal headcanon but I do enjoy is when Loop feels the same physical sensations as Siffrin bc it's funny and I like inflicting misery on the star.

I'm going to shut up now like actually . Loop for your troubles

[lyonnerileyauthor]

hi there! hope you dont mind the nonny message but i was wondering if you could (and were comfortable with) talking about some of the challenges you've faced when monetizing spicy content. ive been considering getting into it and i think im finally ready to take the plunge but i have no idea what to expect.

ps. love your books!

trying to peddle any kind of sexual content is a minefield. I've had posts removed from Facebook, from Instagram, I've had labels slapped on me on Twitter and Tumblr and Bluesky (even for things that AREN'T NSFW, Tumblr being a prime example). I've even gotten dinged by Patreon, despite the fact my account is an 18+ verified account, and they pulled one of my posts. Despite their policy of "change the post and resubmit it, we'll reinstate it," they never did that and the chapter still lives in purgatory. (I had to repost it instead.) It's even difficult to have prints made, and only a few limited vendors are willing to do it, such as Mixam (who kinda sucks for other reasons).

I could go on and on, but be prepared to get your wrist slapped a lot, censor your content (don't use pixellating, a lesson I've learned the hard way) and have strangers go OUT OF THEIR WAY to report you and call you names and accuse you of all kinds of horrible things. (I'm routinely deleting comments telling me to k*ll myself, go to jail, etc etc).

Not to discourage you, just be aware it's difficult and you really have to be careful.

And thank you! I'm so glad you like them!! I really couldn't do any of this without my readers who always encourage and support me.

[mimi-is-so-horny]

okay, so... you know how sometimes a day starts lovely, and then it goes to shit? and sometimes, you feel like you've done this to yourself? actually, you have done it to yourself. anyway.

i made a point to wake up early today to make Sir and Anna breakfast and to write them a note thanking them for fucking me so well yesterday, and for being pretty much the best thing in my life right now. i felt very grateful and i know i'm very lucky. i think they appreciated that, too.

i blew the candles on my birthday cake naked on Sir's lap - i've been 25 for a couple of days, and i usually hate my birthdays, but Anna insisted we should do the whole birthday thing properly. Sir wrote me a birthday card that almost moved me to tears. He groped my tits as i blew my candles.

for context, i used to want to enter academia in combination to committing to a totally different career path. what i'm doing right now isn't even my Plan C, so of course, i feel a bit like a failure. i'd written a chapter in a book that discussed some recent developments in my field and placed them in a behavioural/institutional context - the book was published this year, and the complimentary copy they sent to authors arrived on my birthday. i should be happy, right? but i feel so defeated, and so dumb, and like this is the first and last good thing i got to do before giving up on my aspirations completely. sure, i'll still apply to enter a more commercial side of my field next year, but that's still just more "sustainable", financially, and more difficult than i thought it would be. all this effort for something i won't really value or enjoy, yuck. and what if i fail, again? anyway. Mimi's whiny ass.

so Sir asked me to read my chapter, and i said yes, sure. He wanted to "see how i think". why not, right?

He fucked me yesterday, and this morning, and at noon, and it felt so good. and now He came to my room, to tell me He read my chapter, and while i felt vulnerable i tried to look cool asking Him what He thought of it.

and He showered me in compliments, and asked me why am i here, and not at a Big Prestigious University™ doing research? i told Him that's why i tried, and the Big Prestigious University™ didn't do shit for Mimi in a post-covid job market where she had to care for her family and couldn't work Prestigious Unpaid Internships™. and still, with no network or real mentors that cared more about guiding me than fucking me, or plagiarising me (lol), my options narrowed. and He knew that, so why was He asking me? and then He asked more questions, and i got increasingly angry and i cried and told Him to leave my room, please. well, at least He did.

so now i have to go downstairs and apologise for lashing out at Him for essentially caring. that was just me projecting - how mad i am at myself for failing, and for giving up, and and for being too lazy to try again - on Him. but i also don't want to do that, because i can only taste how i'm not working in the city i want, and how the people i work for are surprised when i can introduce better corrections than them, and how i am a grown woman that is already bitter about not being where she wanted to be. how i pretend to have given up, when in reality i'm still kind of grieving the people i thought i could be, and realising it can always get worse. am i making myself into a victim: poor-me, poor-me? or am i entitled to my anger and sadness? i don't know, and Sir knows something sad happened to me without my consent, a long while ago - so what if He sees me as a victim, too? am i really that stupid and that passive? what if i'm wasting His time, too?

i don't think i use kink as a coping mechanism or as a distraction; i'm just happy it's an area of my life i'm currently getting exactly what i want, exactly in my own terms and limits - i've rarely gotten that much respect and reciprocity in "vanilla world" - be it work, or education, or friendships. but that fact also makes me sad. why can't i have some of the things i want, sometimes? why was it "Rejection Letter"+"Your Flatmate Lost Your Cat And Now Won't Help Or Speak To You"+"Your Supervisor Wants To Fuck You And He's Angry Now!"+"Your Family Is Asking For Money, Again!!!", and not, like, slightly better? it's hard to feel empowered now. that sad six-year-old is here again, and she wants good stuff i don't know how to give, because i'm out of fucking candy (or, y'know, drugs. because i don't do that shit anymore).

anyway, that will be a difficult conversation. and i feel sorry for Him, for having to deal with me.

well, that was a very self-centred ramble by a fairly self-centred person, so i'm sorry if you read this? but also it was your choice to do so, meh. drink water, wear sunscreen.

[nika-vincent]

Long post warning.

I'm trying to put together some thoughts (also based on recent discussions with many great folks) about the romance path with Halsin in the form that it is presented in the game at the moment with the hope that Larian will notice our comments on this. And part 2 about Halsin's personality in the game. Please, fear not, it will be without aggression. So take some tea, my friends, and let's get started!☕

From the very beginning of EA, we had an image of Halsin that stood out not only by his appearance (it was difficult to not notice the thirsty comments of fans about this), but also by the excellent qualities of his character. He is one of those characters who sincerely wants to help us with our parasite and not try to use us in a bad way or even kill us.

He has the impression, you know, of a big adult man who at first glance looks serious and rather harsh, but when you learn more about him, you realize that this is a man with a kind heart, caring, protecting, not leaving you in trouble. He reminds me of Hagrid from the Harry Potter universe. And this image of him was so loved by many people (including me) that we wanted to see more of it when the game was released. There was no limit to my delight when, after the release of the game, we were able to ask about his hobbies. Gods, how all these cute things fit him that he loves honey and carves wood in his spare time.🥰 I want more of this!❤

We began to fantasize about what a romance with Halsin could be, and expected that these beautiful traits of his character would manifest themselves here. That he will be protective for Tav, gentle, romantic and caring. I was incredibly happy that we were finally given the opportunity to have a romance with him and the words during the PFH that Halsin and Astarion had become the most popular characters of EA gave great expectations.

Of course, after the release of the game, many things have remained behind the scenes for now, due to lack of time to implement the rest of things I believe, and I assume that there is a chance of adding this with patches. But let's move on to the things we have at the moment.

What surprised me not in a good way was that I noticed some strange emphasis on Halsin's sexuality and various jokes towards his body in the game itself. I assume that perhaps the developers wanted to make some kind of reference to the thirsty comments of fans about Halsin, which can often be seen on the Internet. But I think it would be better to leave it between fans, and not literally implement it in the game. I do not deny his sexuality myself and say that his arms are made for hugs! But there should be a limit to everything, I think. I can make an exception about the fact that we can ask about why he is so big for an elf. It looks quite harmless and even his reaction amuses.😁

The reference to 'Daddy Halsin' in his ending was great and really funny! It looks unobtrusive and does not create the feeling of awkwardness and discomfort that we got from some of his stories from the past...

The story of Halsin's sexual past and how the romance with him is presented in the game has been most criticized by players, and there are several reasons for this. We found out that he had many lovers throughout his life (So it is lovers, not special loved ones). And then we also learn that when he was a young druid, he traveled through the underdark and found himself a guest in a noble Drow house, in which the matron and the patron showed interest in him and chained him for three years in their bedchamber, where he played the role of 'guest, prisoner and consort'. Honestly, the last thing I expected was that Halsin would get such a backstory, given that we had kept in mind for so long the image of him which I described at the beginning of this article. It literally took me by surprise. And especially the fact that he talks about it so calmly and even with a note of gaiety, as if this is a common thing that could happen to anyone.

I don't understand the need to add such things to him. Perhaps the developers wanted to show in this way that a man with such an attractive appearance is obliged to have a hot sexual experience and give him an image of something like a Faerun Casanova? If so, it turned out to be quite inappropriate and even creepy, and the players perceived it more as a sexual abuse towards him than as an experience.

It can be noticed that even Halsin himself is not very enthusiastic with the fact that remarks about his physique are the first thing people talk about. Clipping from @lylakoi 's screenshot:

And all this strongly contradicts how we initially fell in love with Halsin and how we wanted to see him and his romance in the release. The romantic relationship between Tav and Halsin at the moment looks more built on physical attraction, rather than on love, care and mutual respect. Most likely, this is due to the noticeable lack of romance content at the moment and more soft things and scenes will be added to the patches that would dilute it well so that it does not catch the eye. I just wanted the romance to be less fixated on lust, and more on feelings and romantic things between Tav and Halsin.

The most terrible thing that literally brought tears to my eyes is the fact that he can talk about his feelings and love only when we ourselves can behave like an abuser with him, when we decide to break up with him and change our minds. We see how much it hurts him that we are playing with his heart. Because at the moment there are no other romantic scenes in the game in which we can discuss with him our feelings and that we love each other, as it happens with other companions.

Polyamory also does not work quite correctly in the game, because it seems that he wants Tav to be poly in the relationship, not him. It looks something like: 'You're all I want, but don't get stuck on me and find someone else' uhh, what? I only want to romance you, why should I find someone else? This dialogue is appropriate if I was already in a relationship with another companion and would like to be with Halsin too. But if I want to have a romance with him alone, then I believe that the dialogue should be different and not insist on 'sharing' if I have not a relationship with anyone.

Given the whole story that he only had lovers and sexual slavery, I assume that Halsin has never experienced true love with anyone, and only knows how to be used by everyone. If this was the original idea of the writers, which has not yet been brought to its logical end, then the role of Tav in the romance with Halsin here should be quite important in order to see the development of their relationship. The main goal in the romance should be that Tav will allow Halsin to feel what it's like to be truly important and loved. Remember when in the act 2 he was touched by the fact that Tav shared a campfire and their company with him. Screenshot by @lylakoi :

It is clearly evident that such things that someone does for him are unusual to him and touch his very heart. Most likely, he is used to giving, not receiving.

The bed scene with him is absolutely beautiful, I can even give a standing ovation.❤ I would only add after that a scene where Tav and Halsin are lying side by side, looking at the stars and having a romantic conversation. That would end the night perfectly.🙏

It is necessary to add more soft interactions for Halsin, so that there is more emphasis on the development of his personal qualities. We are well aware of his attractiveness and there is no need to emphasize this once again with strange jokes and stories with sexual abuse.

The Interaction in the camp with owlbear and Scratch will be great for him! Maybe even add some scenes with companions in act 2, where Halsin would try to calm the guys arguing with each other. That would add +1 to his personality traits. Also, more of his reactions to any events or during the dialogues with someone will not hurt.

For a romance, I would suggest definitely adding a scene with a date. Even a scene where Halsin would give an ornament for Tav that he carved out of wood. Maybe some episode in the city that would shock him (For example, he witnessed the rough treatment of animals or orphans) and make him turn into a bear from rage and we would try to calm him down by choosing the option 'reach out and stroke him' (Yes, yes, I mentally create fanfics during 3 am, don't blame me😅) Also a scene where we could hug him and confess that we love him. And now the romance no longer looks focused on lust.

The opportunity to go with Halsin in the ending also deserves to exist. Halsin mentioned that he would like to have a family, so he and Tav could perfectly help orphans together in Thaniel's world.🙏

That's all for today. My opinion about Larian has not changed for the worse, for me they are still great guys who delight me with their positive attitude to the community. Unpleasant situations can happen, it is inevitable. But there is always a chance to fix something. I really want to hope that they will cope with everything and listen to our feedbacks and everything will gradually get better with the patches.❤

Thank you for reading this review to the end.🙏❤ I also suggest joining the discussion to Larian's discord in the 'bg3-feedback' section.

[deepspacedukat]

The Lifeline - Part Three: To Have An Open Flame

Vreenak decided it was his turn. He's the kind of chaotic stability I needed right now, tbh. Anyway, still winging it. Enjoy!

Part One here. Part Two here.

Cross-posted to AO3 here.

~*~

Vreenak (DS9) x Reader

[A/N: There will be suggestiveness in future chapters so 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI!!!]

Warnings: References to Romulan politics, espionage, stalking, references to an interspecies relationship, pre-Romulan/Human relationship, interspecies romance, threats, angst, time travel bs, references to marriage/a mating bond, skeptical Vreenak, Romulan undercover as a Vulcan, mentions of a previous Vulcan/Human failed relationship, he's falling and he doesn't even know it, Romulan reading a Human romance novel.

~*~

I really have no reason to be nervous, I thought to myself as I got my lunch from the replicator. He's probably just uncomfortable with his new surroundings, and being Vulcan, it's difficult for him to express his discomfort.

Turning with my lunch tray, I caught sight of my current objective: Velek sat alone at a table in the mess hall, eating his lunch and reading a PADD. Thinking of those icy blue eyes again made my heart thud in my chest. Really, he was gorgeous, but he was also grumpy enough to make him a bit scary. Well, maybe he himself didn't scare me, but the thought of being on the receiving end of his anger, suppressed or not, definitely did.

Come on. Realistically, what's he going to do? Scowl you to death?

With a deep breath, I made my way over to him, putting on what I hoped was a friendly smile and not a terrified grimace. As I approached, his eyes flicked up and practically froze me in place.

"Yes, Lieutenant?" He asked in an almost deadly-quiet tone.

...I hated that he still sounded so sexy. Really, it wasn't fair. I was actively trying not to fall for any more Vulcans, and he was not making it easy.

"Hi! Er, uh, good afternoon, Lieutenant," I said trying to sound less terrified and more confident. "Is this seat free?"

He glanced at the seat across from him and back at me, seemingly considering his options. The Mess Hall was almost full, so seating was limited anyway. It wasn't like this an unreasonable request, but I guessed he was still trying to find a polite way to refuse. Just as I opened my mouth to apologize and go try to find another seat, he sighed.

"Yes, it is currently unoccupied," he said setting his PADD aside.

"May I...?" I gestured to the seat, trying to give him an opportunity to refuse, if he really didn't want me there.

"...You may." Not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth, I thanked him quietly and sat down, trying to be mindful of his space so that I wouldn't make him more uncomfortable than he already appeared to be. "I trust you're ready for the anomaly scan analysis?"

"Oh, yes. I'm looking forward to seeing how this pulsar cluster differs from a couple of the others I've read about," I answered, and at that he lifted a sharp eyebrow.

"You've worked with these sorts of phenomena before?" He sounded genuinely interested, which I took as a tentatively positive sign.

"Well, as they're rare, I haven't had the opportunity before, but phenomena like these have been of particular interest to me since the Academy, so I've read pretty much all there is to know about them," I explained. "I've studied all the procedures, and I know that actually doing something in the field is much different than just studying the theories involved, but I'm confident in my abilities, so..."

I trailed off with a shrug.

"What about you? Have you ever studied a pulsar cluster up close before?"

"Twice, yes, but not in many years. I was barely thirty when I saw my first, then fifty when I saw my second," he said, and I felt my eyes widen. I knew he was older than he looked by Human standards, because of his Vulcan heritage, but it still took me by surprise that he was over fifty. It really shouldn't have stunned me, hell, even Torek was over seventy. Did...Did that mean he was closer to maybe...ninety?

Mental math aside, I nodded my head, trying to focus on the science aspect of the conversation rather than Velek.

"Oh really? That must've been so fascinating." I leaned a little closer in my seat. "Were they about this size, or...?"

"Both were smaller, actually," he said; some of the barrier in his gaze came down as he spoke. "Neither of the events I observed were quite this strong, either. I must admit, if I was not–"

He cut himself off abruptly as if he'd caught himself from saying something he shouldn't.

"I...am intrigued to see what differences this cluster will yield," he finished quietly, and if I was not very much mistaken, the tips of his ears had turned a darker shade of green than they were before. He crammed a bite of food into his mouth, staunchly not meeting my gaze, and I did the same, not wanting him to feel as though he was obligated to speak if he didn't wish to.

After a few moments of quiet, furtive looks between us, Velek and I accidentally met each other's gazes and froze.

"We're lucky to have you here, you know," I said, trying to set him at ease. "We've been a bit short-staffed lately, so your arrival couldn't have been better-timed."

"...Your gratitude is...appreciated, but misplaced," he began, some of the coldness seeping back into his tone. "I am here for the work. Nothing more."

With that sentiment out in the open, I realized I'd likely overstayed my welcome. Feeling awkward and out of place, I got to my feet.

Maybe his surroundings weren't making him uncomfortable. Maybe it was me.

"My apologies. I'll just...get out of your hair. Have a good rest of your shift," I said giving him a sheepish, apologetic smile and walking away before he could say anything. Shoving my mostly-full tray into the replicator to be recycled, I made my way back to my station. My appetite was gone.

--

Vreenak watched her walk out of the Mess Hall with a sinking feeling. Why did he care whether he'd hurt a little hevam's feelings? She was nothing to him. He was here specifically to avoid acquiring a Human wife. What did it matter if her poor, weak little emotions were injured?

He huffed quietly to himself and picked up the report he was supposed to be reading. Instead, though, his mind was focused solely on the expression that had crossed her face just before she rushed out: a mixture of pain, embarrassment, and regret. Had he truly been so intimidating? A sigh escaped his lips. Of course he had! He was the Vice-Chairman of the Tal Shiar, for Elements' sake, of course his looks were as cutting as his tongue was in Senate sessions.

Putting his own half-empty tray into the replicator, he made his way back to his station, trying to force his mind back into neutral territory to maintain his cover. That same look kept returning to his mind's eye even as he worked.

Later that night, they read through the next chapter of her book. Really, she'd chosen such a trite little story. Were these two actually meant to be together? He hated her, yet she was still mooning after him like a pathetic baby set'leth crying for its mother. It was hard for him to imagine the story ending well, but her Trill friend mentioned that it had a happy ending the last time she visited the Lieutenant's quarters. Why would anyone endure something so painful? Was love really worth that much?

Vreenak read a bit slower that night, finding himself repeatedly distracted by the way she looked. The shape of her nose, the curve of her cheeks...her rounded, extremely Human ears...

Eventually, she went to bed, and Vreenak did as well, but disturbingly, he found himself thinking about the message. 'Vree, honey,' she'd called him. She'd shortened his name, and he had the rather unsettling thought that in her voice, he actually liked how it sounded.

When he drifted to sleep that night, there was a small smile upon his lips at the ridiculous yet heady thought of her saying the entirety of his real name. Not that he would admit to such a thing, of course. Exhausted minds were prone to playing tricks on their owners.

Days passed, during which they kept to their little routine. They'd complete their shifts with minimal interaction, go back to their respective quarters, and Vreenak would read along with her in that insipid romance novel. The male love interest was, for lack of a better term, a complete veruul. If he simply admitted how he was feeling, there would be significantly fewer problems, and they could have ended this terrible book several chapters earlier.

Vreenak was grateful beyond words that he was not that dense. If he cared for a woman, he'd be brave enough to confront those feelings and do something about it. What a coward, that character was to hide behind his fear of losing her as if it was some sort of cloaking device! He was glad they were nearly three quarters of the way through.

He put the book away when she did, and assuming that she was off to bed, he went to change out of his uniform. He'd stripped down, and thrown on a dark green pair of sleep pants and a matching robe, but as soon as he went to begin his evening routine, the door chime sounded. Who would call on him this late at night?

--

When the doors to Velek's quarters slid open, I blinked in surprise. He was already out of uniform, wearing instead a dark green silk robe.

"Do you require something, Lieutenant?" At Velek's harsh, impatient tone, I used all of my restraint to keep from staring at the exposed stripe of his chest peeking out from behind the soft fabric. I must've looked like a startled deer!

"I apologize for disturbing you. The Captain just wanted me to check in and see how you were adjusting to your new post," I answered, which was partially the truth. Velek had been withdrawn - more than other Vulcan crew members I'd encountered, in any case. Despite extraneous socializing being considered largely unnecessary and illogical, most Vulcans engaged in at least a little bit of it. Velek, though, did not, which suggested continued discomfort on his part. "May I come in?"

After a long, hard stare, Velek stepped aside, and I took the opportunity to slip past him into his living space...

His...still-utterly-bare living space. Other than a few data PADDs and an empty glass on a table near the viewport, his quarters seemed virtually untouched. Had he not unpacked in the nearly two weeks that he'd been here?

"I apologize for my appearance. I was attempting to meditate and did not anticipate having a guest," Velek called, but he didn't make any move to draw the sides of his robe tighter around himself. At least he was comfortable enough to take that small liberty. Given the view, I certainly wasn't complaining.

"Where are your candles?" The question flew from my lips before I could stop it, and he paused.

"I neglected to acquire more before my last transfer, and as they cannot be replicated properly, I do not have access to them." Maybe that was why he was so short-tempered! He couldn't meditate properly! I knew how important the candles were to the process, and I knew the replicated ones gave off an unpleasant aroma - something about the synthetic oils didn't settle correctly into the wax mixture.

"Oh, I see. I, um...Is there anything I can do to make adjusting to this post any easier?" I asked as I turned to face him, only to see his eyes skimming slowly up my body as if he'd been observing me. No. That was too much to hope for.

"Nothing comes to mind at present," he said, and I nodded my head.

"Has everyone been treating you alright since you got here? Are they making you feel welcome?"

He walked over to his sofa and took a seat, crossing one leg over the other.

"As the rest of the crew have respected my desire not to socialize, I have no reason to complain." The ice had reentered his voice.

Oh. Right. He didn't like me. The glimpse of his bare chest had all but obliterated my rational thoughts.

"Oh, good. Well, uh, I apologize for interrupting your evening. I'll just go report to the Captain and leave you in peace." I practically bolted from his quarters before I could do something really stupid like asking if he wanted a completely logical cuddle.

--

How odd that she would run out like that right when he was going to break down and offer her a seat and a drink. Granted, he wasn't wearing his uniform, but he didn't look that bad...did he?

He glanced down at himself and felt an uncomfortable wrinkle of insecurity. A bit of his chest was showing, but he knew he looked better in this than he did in a Starfleet uniform. There was no question that this was more sensual, and she'd already admitted to her friend that she found him attractive, so...what was there for her to dislike?

Unsettled, he made his way to bed, but he couldn't coax his mind into a state peaceful enough for sleep. When Vreenak left his quarters for duty as a slightly more tired version of Lieutenant Velek the next morning, he spotted a box beside his door with his alias on the digital tag. Bending to inspect it, his brows lifted at the note it contained.

'I hope these help you feel more at home. Welcome aboard!'

Attached was a file giving written consent for an open flame in his quarters from the Captain. An open flame? Opening the box, he discovered a bundle of traditional Vulcan meditation candles.

There was only one person from whom these could have reasonably come. Glancing at the door to the quarters beside his, Vreenak couldn't help but feel a hint of surprise. Why would she be kind to him when he hadn't been that way to her? He'd attempted to shut down every friendly overture she'd made toward him, but he clearly hadn't succeeded.

And, did this mean she hadn't disliked what she'd seen of him the night before?

...More importantly, why should Vreenak care what she thought?

Quickly moving the box inside, he took a deep, steadying breath and headed to his station in the forward science lab. Sure enough, she'd beaten him there as always.

He wondered, as he often had these first two weeks, whether she'd slept better than he had. The skin beneath her eyes was darker than the rest, and Vreenak was stunned to feel concern bloom in his chest. Her self-deprecating jokes about insomnia had at least some basis in truth, then.

Again, why should he care? She was just a Federation officer! She was a mystery to be solved, a whisper from a potential version of the future, nothing more. He had a mission to accomplish. There was no time for him to become sidetracked by trivialities like some hev– some Human's health. He realized he'd been watching her for several seconds, but before he could turn away, she caught him staring.

Maybe that Trill was right. Vreenak must be getting older if he was slipping so severely.

"Good morning, Lieutenant," she called with a tentative smile stretching her lips. Forcing himself to move, he stepped over to the adjoining station and started his work for the day.

"The candles you left me..." he began, but as soon as he spoke, she looked over at him and his mind went blank. What...had he been saying?

"They...They are the traditional type. A-And, they're not replicated, I promise," she murmured when he didn't continue. "I apologize if I overstepped, but I just thought...I mean, when I was at the Academy, two of the three cadets I shared quarters with were Vulcans, and I always kept a few extras in case they needed them. It's sort of become a habit, and when you said you didn't have any..."

She trailed off, and Vreenak had to exert more force than he expected to keep himself from smiling at her. Vulcans didn't smile. Why did he suddenly resent that?

"It was not necessary, but...I appreciate them. You have my gratitude." He might not really be Vulcan, but the thought and intention behind the gesture touched him. He'd done nothing but be brusque and prickly with her, but she'd still managed to find enough kindness in her heart to offer him yet another olive branch. She was as stubborn as he was.

They worked on their respective tasks, side-by-side in silence for a moment before she spoke.

"So...does that mean we can be friends now?" The mischief in her voice made him glance at her out of the corner of his eyes.

"Do not push your luck," he muttered, and though his voice was as intimidating as it had always been with her, she simply smirked and turned back to her terminal.

And he was proud of her reaction.

The realization made him pause. Proud? What reason had he to be proud of a Human? He should hate her! She was the reason he'd been inconvenienced with this mission in the first place. Her call from the lonely darkness of the Delta Quadrant was what had summoned him from his cushy position in the Senate.

He should be home on Romulus, not wasting his time on a Federation science vessel. Abruptly, he stood and made his way to a different station, acting as though he required access to another set of data simply so he could put some distance between them.

This Lieutenant would not be his wife - she was nothing to him - therefore, there was no reason for him to become attached. Simple.

...So, why did he feel the loss of her proximity so keenly when he reached the other side of the lab?

Vreenak had become too involved in his role as Velek. To a Vulcan like his cover, she would be a perfect candidate for a mate. Studious, dedicated, accommodating, warm...the likelihood of her rejecting his attentions would be low...

Instinctively to a Vulcan, she would be perfect. For a Romulan, however, she was barely adequate. She needed more...more...something. Cunning, perhaps? Her naïveté was clearly uninspiring.

Yes, that was it. Vreenak was simply delving too deeply into his cover. All he needed to do was remind himself of why he was here: to investigate a Federation officer who would, at some point in the future, come to know three influential Romulans by name when she shouldn't. Threat assessment and, if necessary, removal.

Throughout his shift that day, his thoughts kept straying to the candles in his quarters. He told himself it was just one more piece to the puzzle.

~*~*~

Romulan Words:

hevam - derogatory term for human

veruul - fool

~*~

Taglist:

@akamitrani @android-boyfriends @attention-bajoranworkers @bigblissandlove1 @darkmattervibes

@emilie786 @groovyqueer @horta-in-charge @live-logs-and-proper @rookietrek

@slutty-slutty-vulcans @starrynightgardens @toebeans-mcgee

[ritornello]

since i can't answer myself so well, what would you say are asada nemui's distinctive storytelling traits and on a personal matter if you'd like what makes you like her stories? not so much tropes but running themes, art and such. i hope it's not too heavy of a question and thanks ^_^

Hi, this is a great question. For anyone with the patience to read all this I think it might help explain what makes Asada Nemui such an intriguing manga artist. (especially without the "it's because X reminded me of Y! - type analysis that occurs very frequently in english fandom communities)

There's a lot of images in this post, but it's not too spoiler-ish.

Comments about art

The first aspect of Asada's art I would want to praise endlessly are the page layouts. Dear, My God was one of the first stories I read by her and the flow of the panels is what really stuck out to me. I like using this sequence of pages as an example - can you guess what's going on?

I removed all of the dialogue and SFX, and it's so well laid out that the sight-to-panel direction, background design and expressions of the characters are enough to understand what's happening. It almost feels like you're looking at a scene from a movie or storyboard.

Text version:

While reading The Sound of the Waves, a page describing the plot of a writer's story more or less summarizes Asada's layout style. It generally begins with an establishing shot before laying out the rest of the scene, which with a longer story may take a few more pages to conclude.

The divisions of pages seems to average around four to seven panels, and pages with three or fewer panels show up very sparingly - likely saved for more impactful scenes.

(I'll just take a second here to add how much I love that she generally sticks to one shade of screentone. Limiting the palette to just three values is a great way to create shadows and dramatic lighting effects!)

Asada's direction is very focused on telling a story - there is always some type of visual cue that the scene is actively present and happening in front of us, the readers. I like this continuity compared to a series that might have excessive headshots or pages of flashbacks during a scene with a lot of action.

One of my favorite scenes in Sleeping Dead is in the second volume, when Mamiya is out in his van and attempting to construct a conversation. It fills an entire page, but his entire monologue could have been condensed into one "thinking" panel.

It doesn't necessarily look bad like if it were like this, but Asada intentionally uses the entire page to emphasize Mamiya's expressions, his awkwardness as he slowly loses confidence in himself. (Plus he's actively driving and looking at the road.) I like that this is a very private scene that reveals the inner character he tries to hide during the majority of the first volume.

I also like that she understands the importance of a readable layout enough to redraw areas that might be confusing to look at, like this one from the magazine version of Sleeping Dead (left side) :

In the last panel it's difficult to tell who's talking, because there are four detached bubbles and you can't see Sada or Mamiya. I wasn't sure if Sada was talking in the first bubble since it's directly below him, but the second seemed like Mamiya since it's drawn so awkwardly. For the paperback release she added a line to connect the two bubbles - obviously it's Mamiya saying both and becoming nervous as he brings up the possibility of having more sexual activities with Sada.

If you noticed the changes in the other panels of that page it also goes into her tendency to do redraws. Some of them look quite different after they've been changed - from the series I've read I noticed major redrawing for Dear, My God, the older short stories republished in Ai, Sei, and even Takatora and the Omegas (though Asada credited changes in that one to the fact that she's now working 100% digitally).

My opinion for these is kind of mixed, sometimes they do look better and sometimes I prefer her original style. This one from Dean My Love that appears in Ai, Sei is a crime lol.

There was a two-volume manga called Mangaka Gohan Nishi (Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner and Comic Artists) published in 2015, and it has one page comics by mangaka discussing food they eat. Asada appears in the second volume and her page mentions watching movies.

(basically it's about being bad at / injured by stovetop cooking so she prefers the safety of the microwave. But in the unidentified movie the characters make an explosive device with a microwave…)

I would undoubtedly say films are a large influence to her, and I've caught some parallels/references in her work, but it's kind of a disservice to only point out similarities in characters or genre tropes rather than her skill as an artist and storyteller.

During the last couple years Asada's also been fairly active on Twitter where she shares concept art and extra comics that add more to what she was limited to write in the published works.

For Takatora she's even been live-streamed the planning and inking of its (as of now) upcoming chapter on Pixiv Sketch. The series already has over two dozen pages of extra content judging by a numbered page she shared on Twitter.

Overall I appreciate that on top of having a high output she seems to care a lot about the quality of content her readers are getting. Not every artist makes redraws for their series on top of doing multiple serializations and lots of fanart/doujin content.

(And she has made a lot of fanart and doujinshi. For 10+ years.)

Comments about storytelling

I'm probably going to sound more rambly here, because I'm not a writer or a critic. Regardless of which series I enjoyed or disliked, I think most of them have an element of pushing boundaries in BL manga.

As one Japanese reviewer said when commenting about Sleeping Dead - Asada's manga are the type you want to recommend anyone to read...except you can't.

I think it goes without saying that the focus of sex in her manga can be a barrier, but there is enough range in her work that a reader (with some help) would be able to find a story with an amount of sexual content they'd be comfortable with. I could definitely see Asada working on more non-BL titles like The Swerve, Yoi and A Friend's Funeral, but to be blunt...she seems to really enjoy drawing men having sex.

Boundary-pushing can be apparent in most of her manga, especially when it starts as early as the first chapter. In the least extreme variation, her titles like Sleeping Dead and Call feature somewhat jarring love interests - middle-aged, sexually awkward men that are unconventionally designed compared to other BL love interests.

When the second volume of Sleeping Dead was nominated a Chil-Chil award for its story, Asada shared this illustration of Mamiya in a boxing ring. I love to imagine it as him squaring off with the much more handsome and less follicly-challenged ukes of the other nominated series.

If you check out her earlier series there are a few subjects considered taboo to look at. Sexual violence occurs pretty frequently. Surprisingly (or not, if you've been around long enough), it's not even rape that's considered risky subject matter in BL magazines.

According to a recent interview with Chil-Chil, Asada originally planned to publish Takatora and the Omegas with a different publisher (my guess is Shodensha, since they serialized My Little Inferno in OnBlue), but its inclusion of sexual health topics was considered too extreme:

[Interview translation credit goes to Ikari of Bottom of the Sea Scans, which currently scanlates Takatora and the Omegas.]

Thanks to Canna being willing to publish her more explicit story ideas, we might be able to see how far she planned to go with Takatora. The published chapters have already broached subjects including hysterectomies, abortion and sexual autonomy. I think this situation with Takatora has parallels to the struggles female shoujo mangaka faced in the early decades of manga publishing for girls.

The magazine Canna tends to serialize BL stories that include elements of science fiction and fantasy, which I think has made it a place where artists like Asada can have less restriction in their storytelling.

But...I don't want to praise Asada just for tackling difficult topics. Going back to the comments about page design, there's a huge focus on dialogue. Characters are frequently conversing and making eye contact with each other. She's amazing at writing characters with unlikable traits that are still enjoyable to read about, or are paired with a partner that helps balance out, or even tolerates their faults.

I think it can be easy to drop a series if it has unlikable characters, but she tends to put them in situations that question their ideologies, and we get to see how they change over the course of the story. Even Asada commented that she's not a huge fan of how the protagonist of Takatora and the Omegas acts:

Takatora could wind up being one of the most extreme examples of an unlikable protagonist, but we'll get to see if his bigoted views are changed as he's challenged by his peers, and as he offers his own support to solve their troubles.

At this point I totally got lost in the Takatora sauce, but other little aspects I love about her manga are the humorous moments, the sometimes getting too over-her-head writing, and endings that can be unexpectedly gut-punching yet written in a way that's the most grounded in reality. And in Sleeping Dead's case, immediately followed by a whiplash of silly extras.

I hope that with Takatora and Yoi - which seemed to have planned out for a while - Asada can continue to do her own thing, because I think it's a much better creative output to make whatever the hell you want instead of conforming to the preferences of the publishers.

In conclusion:

[sneakydraws]

Ok so! As per the wishes of @chernychnyi and others and also myself, here's a little analysis/rant about the boreo front bottoms lyricstuck thing I did. Because of tumblrs 30 image limit I had to fuse some of the frames and also couldn't fit in the unused frames I really wanted to mention - so those will get plonked down in a separate post I think. Ok let's roll

To begin with, the pov - I didn't exactly plan ahead on this regard, I kind of just listened to the song and experienced visions of tgf scenes to go along with the lyrics, but once I picked this project back up after half a year of letting it sit in my procreate files I definitely saw a sort of narrative form around it. Most of what I had was very much from Boris's pov and about Theo. The tone was sort of protective, sort of desperate, sort of penitent, sort of possessive? I'll elaborate on it later but I basically ended up exploring a lot of the ambiguous or unhealthy elements of the boreo dynamic, and realising that when I was maybe 70% done made me lean more purposefully into that angle in the remaining frames. So for example in this frame, even though they're both indisputably wiry and broke down, I choose to make this about Theo because Boris is the worldly, knowledgeable survivor to Theo's harrowed newcomer. There's a fragility to Theo that's less visible, and maybe less present, in Boris.

Like in this line, which has a great air of warning or instruction to it, like the singer is trying to brace their friend for what's to come. I actually struggled hardcore with this frame! Because I knew I wanted this image of Theo reaching toward the surface of the pool, but it arguably made more sense in the "jaws theme song on repeat" lyric (since it's Boris pulling Theo down)... I ended up sticking it here because I wasn't sure what else to replace it with but I think it's kind of a happy mistake because it right off the start showcases the dichotomy in Boris and Theo's relationship and its more toxic aspects - Boris pulling Theo down visually in one frame, but promising to help him swim in the lyrics in the next.

I don't think it came through so well but I wanted the previous panel to have a bright sun streaming light through Theo's fingers, and the blazing desert sun in this frame to echo that - the sun as the element of danger, Boris's opposite. The positioning of light as danger and shade as safety is a trope I sometimes drift towards in queer narratives and it definitely goes back to that heartbeat short film I didn't even like that much...

Maybe my all time favourite scene to depict with teenage boreo - Boris dragging a dead drunk Theo off the street... I love it because it's so rarely we see Boris be the responsible one, the one doing what's Supposed to be done

I really wish I'd had the time and the motivation to spruce this up really well because in some points I envisioned really clearly the kind of transition I'd want to have... I would have loved for the camera to swoosh down and do a little overshoot into this frame, so some of the dynamic of the punch is carried into the visuals. Oh well! Apparently this line (like the song itself) is actually about heroine usage, but here it's Larry and Theo - I feel like a snakebite is an apt metaphor for this punch, with its sheer unexpectedness

The nightmare comfort is a must have of course... I was kind of afraid I was repeating myself with how often I use this kind of scene with this exact framing ahahaha

Massively difficult shot to pull off because I wanted the distortion to be prominent and for Boris and Theo to be really small in the frame but for it to still be mostly readable!! Anyway this is their weird drunken hookups, which I think fit this line not because secret teenage hookups are inherently evil or anything but like. I do think the way they're never ever addressed and the shame associated with them in Theo's narration give them a definite air of unhealthiness. A red flag... A warning sign, if you will

I actually think at one point the drunken teenage sex went here, with the undertone being that Boris realises there's something wrong about it but doesn't stop anyway? But that's kind of muddled, and the much more obvious choice is the theft of the painting. And the "amount to take/reasons to take more" plays well with Boris's habit of stealing random shit from Theo already before moving on to the big fish

The reunion! I play Boris as catching on well to the inauthenticity and comphetness (as well as comp-normie-ness) of Theo's little life - and reminiscing, I suppose, on how unsurprising it is that he'd end up pulled in this direction, trying to run away from the trauma and shame of his real self. There's also a little guilt here on Boris's part, a little bit of a feeling of culpability - carried over from the theft of the painting and the never-addressed sex, and echoed in a second in the guilt or regret of letting Theo leave like he did, betrayed and deceived.

This line maybe doesn't ring one hundred percent true because neither of Theo's Vegas guardians really gave enough of a shit about him to "pray he would change", but they do judge and shame him occasionally for his weakness, his trauma and so on, so I think it works. And (although I had to push this line onto Boris's frame simply to have an excuse to show his face) they "close their eyes" to Theo's real self and the sheer horror of his experiences... Hm

Of course Theo cuts his own hair and sends himself away before anyone else can but you know. Too perfect of a fit

Definitely my favourite and cleverest moment - theo "stops by Boris's house", i.e.by their common home, the night he escapes... Boris begs him to stay (another day so he can get the painting)... And the omitting of "I love you but" from Theo's written dialogue, with the massive conspicuous gap in the word bubble, was something I thought of early on. The unsaid "I love you"? Too fucking good not to exploit. And NGL it feels good to be like ooohoho I'm not just matching visuals to existing lyrics, I'm manipulating them to fit my own narrative and engaging in a dialogue with the lyrics or whatever... Hehe

This is the scene where Boris announces he'll run away and Theo immediately says he'll come with. But the important thing to note is that I found out about different shoelacing techniques and made Boris ladder lace his jungle boots

This and the previous lyric, although the visuals show two different scenes, both relate to Theo's apprehension about how following Boris around will surely lead to no good, especially without a plan. Boris through the lyrics is saying don't worry about it, we'll figure something out!

Umm so I drew this with lighting speed as I was editing the whole thing lollll I totally forgot about the instrumental parts and just how LONG they were... I needed something to fill up the space ahahaha. But it's vaguely supposed to hark back to the scene after Mr pavlikovsky beats up Boris, what with the bottle of vodka and the bloody nose and the unconcerned laughter

The pool frolic! Very appropriate. We've got the obligatory moon cameo, and I made sure the pool and the sky were the same stark shade of black so it feels like boris and Theo are hanging between two equally real worlds, plunging into the starry night...

I just remembered that Boris's bracelets pop in and out of existence a lot ahahaha oops! But this is of course essentially the same scene as the "it's gonna look like mud" lyric, only more literal this time. Admittedly this lyric is moreso from Theo's pov, which is a bit out of place here although I do play around with the pov a little later

One of the first frames I'd envisioned I think! I mean come on. And a great example of how the singer really emphasises certain words, so I punch them up a bit by capitalising them

This was actually a struggle because Boris is such an action oriented character - the stupid shit he says doesn't actually have that many consequences! But eventually I thought it would be fitting to show one of the scenes where a semi malicious joke or a mostly innocuous remark activates Theo's internalised homophobia - i ended up going with his comment about Hobies letter.

More timeskip normieness! The spark and look of Theo's I consider artificial, like the flash of the cameras poised to capture the kiss between the engaged couple's, and the look hidden behind the anime shine of Theo's glasses... I could have spent more time showing that but I'll be honest this was one of the last lines I had to illustrate and I was getting impatient. The "I will not be brave" was a tricky one - I kind of wanted it to relate to Boris's selfishness maybe, in taking Theo away from his fiancée? Like, he will not do the noble thing by stepping away and instead Will try to drag Theo back into his life... Though that itself is motivated by a sort of penitent guilt

Again, Boris trying to find a space for Theo in his life - maybe Theo can work for him! Or with him! Anything, god, just forgive me!

I'm a little annoyed because I remember having a good idea for these lines and then I forgot it!! But with this I ended up gesturing vaguely to some reasons why Boris acts like he does - taking control of the life seemingly subject to his dad's whims and work travel, rebelling by imitating his father's worst habits - something something the paradoxical repulsion towards his father and need to imitate or one-up or outdo him...

For a while these lines were both on Boris's back as he stands in front of Hobie's shop. Then I ended up splitting them in two, but they're the same theme - Boris taking responsibility for his actions and trying to atone for his betrayal of Theo. First by tracking the painting down and coming, drenched, to inform Theo of his progress (that scene is one of my favourites between theo and Boris actually) and then by desperately running after the boy when it seems he might carry it off and destroy it forever (another favourite because it showcases Boris's desperation to earn back Theo's trust).

Also, didn't fit it here but the second instrumental section has Theo's face on it - to make a set with the earlier Boris drawing, and they're opposites because Boris's eyes aren't visible while Theo's are the only part of his face visible, and Theo's worried frown suggests that he sees through Boris's jolliness somewhat, and also! It signals a switch to Theo's pov for the final few lines!

Another line that leapt out at me from the beginning - xandra's ominous yet oddly romantic prediction that Theo will follow Boris wherever, even to a prison cell. This is actually kind of funny because initially I thought a twin sized mattress was a mattress for two - and I connected this to xandra's belief that Boris and Theo will always be a set of two, connected at the hip. It wasn't until I googled the lyrics and read the genius annotations that i realized it was the exact opposite - but luckily for me, the connection still kind of works? Maybe not so well for this panel but for the next two for sure:

Like, my initial thought was that they were both cursed to sleep on a two-person mattress alone, with an empty space next to them - but the literal half-empty double bed can also work as a metaphorical single bed, so... Win? And of course there's complicated messaging going on because, like, their sharing a bed is simultaneously something too adult for their teenaged friendship and something from their childhood to haunt them into adulthood, causing them to never "graduate" into a typical adult relationship no matter how hard Theo tries... And the "somebody's attic or basement" fits in with Theo settling in to weltys bedroom... And of course Boris sleeping in Theo's bed after xabdra takes pity on him, an idea I'd touched on before... Not to mention the "let's go home" "home?" "My place. Whatever" exchange that I loooooooooooveeeeeee

And the final frames! I had to consult @frozenladybug for some storyboarding help because while I knew what theme I wanted I couldn't think of a scene... The idea is that Theo will forever be haunted by his past - hence the nightmares - but that now Boris is there to support him, happy end. Flb came up with the "standing by the window" idea which I love because!!! First of all, dawn is breaking, which signals the end of the troubled night but also brings forth the antagonistic sun - almost as a symbol of the night of Boris and Theo's early relationship, dark and dangerous but full of an odd camaraderie and haunted by the Boriscoded moon, ending. But what comes after that night is a different relationship, with its own challenges but maybe changed for the better... And in this scene Boris comforts Theo by physical contact and a cup of tea (hehe) instead of the desperate clutch of their early years - less intense and physical but maybe healthier and less codependent? I'm kind of freestyling but there's something there. I had thoughts during this project about how Boris calming Theo after his nightmares is almost more parental than romantic and how it allows Theo to cling to boris one-sidedly and how it might change with time... Idk, some personal musings played a part as well and it's definitely a reach but that's what was on my mind. Either way, happy bittersweet boreo ending and lemme go and make that rejected drawings post real quick now