#it was kind of difficult to limit myself for this post but I think this is a good roundup of favs

[repurposedmeatlocker]

got tagged by @motionpicturesforcarrie (tysm!!) to post my favorite first watches of 2024.

In order from when I saw them: Lost in Translation (2003) dir. Sofia Coppola / Dancer in the Dark (2000) dir. Lars von Trier / Beavis and Butt-Head Do America (1996) dir. Mike Judge / Film (1965) dir. Alan Schneider / Perfect Blue (1997) dir. Satoshi Kon / Three Colours: Blue (1993) dir. Krzysztof Kieślowski / Paris, Texas (1984) dir. Wim Wenders / It's Such a Beautiful Day (2012) dir. Don Hertzfeldt / Ninja Scroll (1993) dir. Yoshiaki Kawajiri / 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) dir. Stanley Kubrick

I know I kind of went over 9 films, but I had to include 2001 in some fashion.

I'll tag: @princessmo @mikejudge @rogersandclarke @johnwatersvhs @birdie-hop @majortomwaits @westerberg (no pressure ofc) and if anyone else sees this and wants to give it a go feel free to tag : )

[connormoving]

i never know how to say like. gl with something or like I hope this goes well for you its one of the hardest things to say bc the function is the same as like Praying for you (in like the genuine sense not in the like . thats rough kind of sense. although ig it is?) or whatnot but im not religious so my fallback is like. gl with that!! but that sounds rly shitty and like . i feel like also gl or i hope this goes well is more for like. Theres a hard test or something coming up but if someones just generally like Oh im in a stressful situstion rn and there isnt like an action that they are taking that i can wish them luck on idk how to provide like. I want to say something nice like i hope this works out but that sounds too wishywashy or like. IDKK I OVERTHINK ALL OF IT SO HARD theres like nothing i can ever think of to say and its not a like Ugh i dont know what to say 🙄 its like. i rly want to say something nice to show that i like. feel for you and want to support you i just genuinely dont know how to phrase this and its the worst ever

[wings-of-ink]

Plans, Updates and News!

The Future (and why that's a little scary)

Hello everyone! I hope you are all safe and well.

I wanted to make a post to keep everyone in the loop of where I'm at personally and what that means for the future of my creations, and also give an exciting update!

How about the update first! After some concerns brought to my attention via this post. I decided to change the MC's best friend (Lakota's) name. I received a lot of feedback with reassurances that it was okay to keep this as his name, but at the end of the day, I realized it still has the potential to do harm. That's not what I'm about. Even if most people feel okay with this, someone out there may genuinely not be. The name is easy to change here, and it's not something I feel comfortable trying to justify or anything like that. It hurts me and readers less to change the name than it could by not changing it.

So, I had subscribers on Patreon and Ko-fi vote on a new name! I chose a list starting with 7 names. Voters narrowed down the selection to a top 3. The first 7 were: Kuno, Thamir, Emre, Lailoken, Kalei, Avi, and Asa. After the first round of votes, we narrowed it down to: Emre, Lailoken, and Kalei.

And the winner is...

Emre!

The name will be updated in a future patch!

Up next, I'll give you a heads up on future developments. Here I'll dip into a bit of my personal life. I'm not dipping too far for my comfort zone, and I might put a few things...delicately. But I want you to know what's up and where my head is at right now and why.

So, the second IF is likely not going to happen right now - I think (more on that below). I am not writing this to "stir the pot" or create fear or debate, but it's no secret that things in the States are super not okay. This happens to be where I am. My future is feeling rather uncertain and unsteady and some days I am just scared and not just for myself and loved ones. I am not going to go into all the little details, but my time is already at a premium with working full time and my personal life, and that free time is about to get a bit more narrow in the next 6 or 7 months.

I am prioritizing God-Cursed and Subscriber benefits and have decided that now is not the time to start a second project. I would rather focus on getting GC updates out if my extra time will have more limitations.

Now, the reason I said "I think" it's not going to happen is that - frankly - I'm at risk for suddenly losing my job. Yaay, go me! Part of what I do is funded through the federal government. I'm not employed through them directly, but no money for social services means I'm out of work. If this happens though - I'll have the time for a second project! Yaay???

My partner and I have some emergency plans in place for all kinds of things that might happen be it job loss or something much worse. If this happens, I will prioritize and expand my subscriber benefits to help us survive financially until more work can be found. I am already looking for a new job since the uncertainty is...difficult.

So, if I do find myself with extra time and still employed, I will work on a short story-based IF instead where you can romance 1 character per story. It will be much easier to produce than a fully plotted game. It will likely be a subscriber-only project, but full stories should be released at once (fully interactive with optional spice of course). If I lose my job, you can expect details on a new public IF shortly after, lol.

Okay, moving on to happier things...March is like...here. And March is Duri-month on Patreon and Ko-fi! Around the middle of the month you can expect a cute extra story featuring our favorite demigod for the "Crows" tier and a spicy extra for the "Ravens" tier. I anticipate posting around the 15th or 16th.

Here's a sample!

Currently chapter 6 sits at around 15k words and the first section of it is done (just needs some editing and the like). I'm also making my way passage by passage in previous chapters to improve grammar, word choice, coding, etc....

Anyway, I think that's everything! Take care and be safe!

~Lunan ^_^

[nakedbibi333]

The Art of Returning: Coming Back to the Law

Well, it sure has been a while! The thing about me and this blog is that it's more of an archive for you guys (and myself as well) and I just log in when I feel like there is something new or relevant I want to share.

Anyway! Today I felt the urge to make a post about the idea of "falling off." I mostly want to address these kinds of questions/predicaments: "What do I do when I stop practicing the law?" and "What do I do when I stop believing in the law?"

It's happened more times than I'd care to admit in these past two years since I stopped posting regularly. I find that I'll have a lot of success and then I get comfortable there and stop being responsible with my routine. Then, by losing my routine, I slowly allow my senses and the outer world to dictate my state, and then you know how that goes...

Either way, it doesn't exactly matter how it happens, it only matters that we can get back on it and return to the place where we were before.

It's crazy how much reacting to (and living primarily in) the physical world affects your mental state. In my experience, it gets more and more negative if you're not aware of it, and soon enough, you become a pessimist, and you're constantly manifesting unlucky and negative aspects into your life. The great thing about this, though, is that you can change it. You are never stuck in a state. Whether the state is negative or positive, it is not immovable or unchangeable. Whatever you are experiencing, hearing, or seeing in your physical world is just a reflection of your state. So, since you have lost your belief in the law, you'll start to see more people criticizing and belittling people who do believe in the law. Maybe you will see more "failure" stories, and you may see more negativity in general surrounding the law. This does not mean that those things are true. They are simply what your self is reflecting onto your outer reality based on your self-concept. It may feel difficult to leave this state, but it's as simple as deciding you believe in the law again. You can just as easily return to that state of faith, trust, and power you had occupied before you stopped practicing. And I know this because I have done it myself. You will always have another excuse, another reason, and another fear that will keep you in this limited state. Just let go and return to that feeling.

For some people, I'm sure it's just as easy as intending to return to your desired state. That isn't my own personal experience, though. It can take some convincing. I approach this by re-learning everything I knew before. I need to first place myself in a calm mindful state (which is easier than immediately placing myself in a state of full, confident belief in the law) and start to consume my favorite content. I read Neville Goddard's Lectures and books, listen to Edward Art's YouTube channel, and read his main series, and then I begin to test the law. This is the best way to build belief in the law. Just test it with things that don't matter. Most people like to manifest seeing a specific color insect, getting free food, or finding a dollar on the street, but I approach testing differently before I do that. Instead of saying that I want to see a green car and then waiting to see it in my life, I just start to notice my surroundings. I'll begin to see that the thing I dreamed about the night before ended up happening, that something I was thinking about was brought up in conversation without my initiation, or that something I wanted to do is now planned by someone in my life. These things, which are not deliberately manifested by me, increase my belief in the law because I recognized that I did not even have to try to make things happen for my imagination to show me the truth in the law of assumption. Only then will I start deliberately manifesting because I feel much more confident that it will happen.

With this process, I have been able to go from a negative, unlucky, unfaithful person, to a fulfilled, lucky, and positive person within days (or sometimes hours depending on my own willingness to change). Just know that even the best of us struggle to stay on top of this way of life all the time. Remember there is very little effort in this process. It's really a letting go of your old self and allowing yourself to be open and receptive to the law again.

Hope you guys are doing well! See you again soon ♡

[kathaynesart]

Replica Holiday Special Winners!

Happy Holidays everyone! It's that time of year and you know what that means! Time to announce the winners for the DTIYS Replica Holiday Special Cover!

I received so many wonderful submissions. Far more than I had anticipated! They were all so unique and creative and it was an absolute joy to look at each and every one of them! I really underestimated however how difficult it would be to choose with them all being so unique from each other. In the end, I decided to gauge the top picks on how well their cover captured the "essence" of what this Special is going to be like! Without further ado, here are the winners.

HONORABLE MENTION - @matchstique

Buddy! I love this piece so dang much! It has so much character and perfectly displays the wacky hijinks we can expect as well as the huge amount of stress our poor boys are under during these trying, pregnancy times. The movement and colors work so well and make me excited for what comes next! Seldom do I see pregnant females shown as the badasses they are, but you have gone and turned Cassandra into an absolute icon with this piece! Bless you!

3RD PLACE - @thegunnsara

Sara, the shear amount of craft you put into your art is STAGGERING. Every scuff on Raph's shell and wisp of smoke screams of a quality I can only hope to attain someday. I literally want to be you when I grow up! That said, the concept of this piece is also fantastic. One of the things I'm must excited about for this Special is getting to see Raph and Casey as they were and witnessing the strong bond they share. I love them dearly and this cover captures their strength and tenacity so perfectly. Gods among men.

2ND PLACE - @cupcakeslushie

Slushie, this cover is so damn fun and dynamic that I can't stop looking at it! Your attention to detail and composition are masterful and the fact that you could fit such a bombastic battle into such a limited space speaks to how crazy talented you are! You also do a wonderful job of retaining both the intensity of the apocalypse but also that playful edge that Rise always manages to retain! It's definitely the cover that would catch my eye on a shelf and make me want to turn the page to see what happens next!

1ST PLACE - @abbeyofcyn

Cyn, the moment I saw this cover, I gasped! It's funny because this is both a piece I could have totally seen myself doing had I done the cover, yet crafted in a unique way I could have never come up with on my own! On top of that, this slick composition scratches my little designer brain juuust right. The use of the hands motif is such a great element because to me, it encapsulates the conflicting themes of family/parenthood with the drama of what it means to be human. On top of that, having each character as one of the digits both connected to and encircling Casey is such a wonderful touch that really drives the symbolism home. Somehow, you managed to peer into the future and perfectly capture how the finale of this special is going to feel. Thank you so much Cyn for such a wonderful piece!

~~~~~~~~~

Now that I think about it, looking back on these winners as a set, all four them actually do an amazing job as individual covers for each of the four "acts" that will make up this special. That was not at all my intention, but it kind of worked out perfectly for that. Gets me all emotional!

I also definitely want to put a spotlight on the other amazing submissions, many of which made it SO close to the top slots! I was going to post these pieces individually but I was worried people wouldn't then go to their blogs to view the covers, so instead have a compilation and links to the full versions! Please check out everyones amazing covers and give them some love. They all worked really hard and it means so much to me. Thank you everyone!

@dreamundraws - LINK @honeylief - LINK @gemini-forest - LINK @memorydarkness - LINK @skullythefriendlyskullface - LINK @v-albion - LINK @its-wabby-stuff - LINK @yris-latteyi - LINK @reagi-df - LINK @chaoscontrol50 - LINK / LINK @murasakibonnet - LINK @hitwiththetmnt - LINK @xandriagreat - LINK @karonkar - LINK @sunydays - LINK (sorry my dear, yours did not appear on my hashtag reference at first! D: But still love it!) @quailaz - LINK @delicatechildwitch - LINK

Thank you again all of you! You all did such an amazing job!

[umlewis]

race winner lewis hamilton is interviewed during the post-sprint press conference [part 2/2], china - march 22, 2025 (transcript under the cut)

Journalist: "Jon Noble from The Race. Lewis, congratulations. You're in a totally different place with the car this weekend, compared to the last one. How do you explain that step change? Is it that the set-up's kind of improved? Is it you're more comfortable and know what's needed from the Ferrari's pace, and how much is down to track characteristics, that it's a front-limited track?" Lewis: "I don’t know. It's just like every time you get in the car, you're learning more. I would definitely say just last week, for whatever reason, I really didn't feel comfortable in the car Friday. Saturday was a little bit better, but I think set-up wasn't where I really wanted it to be. And I think, really, last weekend I kind of… I still am sitting back and letting the guys do what they do. I need to observe how they like to operate, rather than imposing, 'cause maybe what I've done in the past won't work. So I've just been basically in that area. And then coming into this weekend, straight away on Monday, I hit Riccardo up and said, 'These are the things that I want to start with this weekend. This is more the direction,' and I'm much happier with that. That's something I had tested back in Bahrain, and we kind of veered off from there. So there’s been a couple of changes. But yeah, from the moment I started driving yesterday, I felt more one with the car. And even through this race, I'm still learning. 'Cause I didn't get to do the long run in Bahrain, I didn't get to do the race run in Bahrain, so the race last week in the wet was my first long run in the car. So that was actually my first proper long run, really, of any significant amount of laps. So I'm learning along the way still, just how this car, how to maneuver the tools in order to make the car work the way I want it to work. So I'm really happy with how it came out, given that that is the case, but now I've got a much better knowledge now of what the car likes and what I need to do to make it faster." Interviewer: "Thank you, Lewis. Next one."

Journalist: "Molly Hudson from The Times. Lewis, you mentioned in your TV interview the detractors that you've had, whether it was last week or maybe last season as a whole. How satisfying is it to be sat there in first place again, and what is it that's making you click here that maybe didn't last season?" Lewis: "Well… Yeah, I mean, I'm not really talking back to them or anything like that. It's just that… We live in such a strange time in the world. People just love to be negative at any opportunity. Even with the smallest things, they’ll just be negative about it, and I think that's just the difficult time that we're living in. I see certain individuals… And, again, I don't really read the news, but I see bits here and there, see people that I've admired for years just talking out of turn. Clearly some of them really just making uneducated guesses of what's going on, and like I was just saying, just a real lack of appreciation of just… It is not easy, moving to a new team that works completely differently, completely different characteristic of car. You don’t just jump in and it's good. I mean, look at… It is true, if you look at Seb, you look at Fernando, they did a great job when they joined the team in their early phases, but to build long-term success with the team takes time to build and that's what I'm trying to do. I'm not trying to jump-start it; get ahead of myself. I'm just taking my time to build with this great team. There's so much potential in this team. But for us to be at the second race already and have that experience… This is a track I've gone well for many, many years, so you've got to take that a little bit, but in general I've been feeling really good in the car. And as I'm learning more of where the car likes to be set up for a track like this, for example, when I get to another track that's like the last one, I think I have a bit of a better understanding of where to put it." Interviewer: "Thank you. Next. Alex."

Journalist: "Alex Kalinauckas, Autosport. Another question to Lewis, please. You said you got in the car a little bit extra early ahead of the start today. I just wondered, what were you thinking at that stage? What were the team's pre-race expectations? And then also, when did it become clear that you were on to a winner today? Thank you." Lewis: "Well, I felt unusually calm in myself. I would say definitely moreso than usual. I'm generally a relatively calm person, but I think today there was a stillness in me that I haven't felt for a long time, and [laughs] I didn't know if that was going to be a good or bad thing; if I'm dormant or just ready. But also, I've got… Ange and I, it's a new first… Ange is still getting used to things. This is her first sprint for ages, so even for her, we came to the grid and we happened to be there a little bit early and I was like, shoot, we were earlier than normal. And yeah, just the timing, I was like, I'm going to get in the car. And it actually worked really nice. I got time to spend talking to the engineers from the car. I think really from the moment–the good start that I had, I was really happy with the start –and then a couple laps in, I kinda felt that I was managing. So I felt like I had the car beneath me, but of course the two behind were pushing quite hard and I could see Max was getting close in certain places, so I didn't know. And also the graining actually started appearing quite early. I don't know how it was for you guys, but already four or five laps in, you kind of already see it, even though we were managing. So I didn't know where that would go, but the fact is I think all of us were experiencing the same thing. So once I got calm there, kind of like after lap six or seven, I kind of got into my stride and that was that." Interviewer: "Thanks."

Journalist: "Phil Duncan, PA. Lewis, I appreciate after the race you said that now’s the time to keep calm. But obviously, great win. You were seven seconds clear of Oscar and everyone's saying that McLaren's the car to beat this year. So that must give you real confidence that you're in this championship fight." Lewis: "Well, look, we’ve just come from a race where we finished tenth, so there are so many factors to really take into account. So I guess we just can't get ahead of ourselves of that one result that we just had and be like, yeah, now we're… The car felt good today, and yes, managed to finish ahead of a McLaren and a Red Bull, but that doesn't necessarily mean… Look at qualifying. It’s very, very close, sSo not making the mistake's going to be key. But I think we seem to be there or thereabouts this weekend, which is really good. I hope that that continues. But again, from track to track, we'll have to wait and see. We saw last week we didn't have that. So I'm hoping that… There's a lot of learnings from last week that we applied already to this week and the car has been in a much better place, so I hope that we can keep it there. And if we can, then yes, that makes me happy."

[cripplecharacters]

Hi, I’m concerned about whether there is anything regarding disability that are strictly off limits for abled author to write about. For example, I know it’s meaningless for an abled author to write about what it means to be disabled, or the disabled experience. Is there anything else that would be infringing on boundaries & risk speaking over actual disabled authors? I know including non-POV disabled characters who just happen to be disabled are fine with proper research. But I feel as if I might be treading some risky ground here because I have a POV character who is disabled. Regarding that, I want to know if some things are off limits if I am abled myself (such as their personal feelings regarding their disability - it’d be odd if I didn’t mention this at all since they’re a POV character, but I don’t know to what extent/if i should explore this at all, especially since it’s a result of injury).

Hello!

Outside of the examples you gave ("what it means/how it is to be disabled") I don't anything is strictly and always off limits for abled writers in general because disabled people will have such a wide range of opinions* on this that it'd be impossible to know what you can and can't do - it's better to just do it well and thoughtfully if you do decide to go for it.

*Examples: I know disabled people who don't want people without their disability to write characters with it at all, no exceptions. I really heavily dislike abled writers putting their disabled characters through nightmarish levels of ableism because it feels like torture porn or at least as exploitative. Someone else will be fine with abled writers doing literally anything. Some people see all non-OwnVoices representation as inspiration porn. Disabled people are too big and diverse of a group to come to a specific consensus.

There are areas where I think they should be more careful, like in stories where a character suddenly becomes disabled, as that can easily turn into a plotline that focuses on how disability is bad due to the missing nuances of such an experience. Even putting aside that there's a ton of room for factual errors on how recovery or just the medical side of things in general looks like, I feel like it can be difficult to write this kind of plot in detail if you don't have experience in it. For this kind of thing I believe that sensitivity readers are a must if you want it to be a major part of the story. If it's a minor one then it can be okay, especially if you aren't going into the emotional nitty-gritty of the whole process much.

There's also the obvious topic of tropes that I think abled writers should avoid - but as you probably seen on our blog, there will always be exceptions to them. Example: I always say to not put your character with a facial difference in a mask - but in this post I said it was fine if XYZ happened. Nuance and all. But putting tropes in just to be "subversive" usually comes off as cheap, assuming that they actually are subversive in the first place (which they usually aren't).

Tropes are tools, and they can be used well if the writers put effort in, and especially if they ask the group that the trope itself affects. They are bad if they're done mindlessly and without care for actual disabled people, and at the end of the day it depends on how the writer decides to use them. Don't just assume that your case is "special" and "totally different" from all those people who do use them wrong - these two groups often end up as a perfectly circular Venn diagram. Check with disabled readers first.

Having a POV disabled character is completely fine in my opinion. It's not like we are a completely alien, unrelatable concept to abled people. It can be done well, but it does also require more thought and effort to be put in. Again, I think that sensitivity readers can be incredibly helpful in a case like this.

And I think that it is important for the writer to just look at the page and ask: do I know enough to write about the character experiencing X? Because sometimes the answer will be no, and that's fine. Not even stories written by disabled people will touch on every single aspect of the disabled experience because it's so incredibly wide that there would be no place left for actual plot.

We also don't just sit around and think about how we feel about our disabilities. Sure, deciding how your character feels about it in the vague sense is helpful for characterization, but there's a ton of disabled people who treat their disability as a complete non-event. People like us who mod a blog about disability representation are very much a minority. Your character could just be like "oh yeah I guess I do use crutches, but it's been 10 years so I keep forgetting about it" and only actively think about that when the actual situation calls for it.

Your character could be 100% neutral about their disability and just think of their cane as something they carry around the same way they do with their house keys, or could be So Positive and make sure their cane compliments their outfit just right every time they leave the house. What I'd advise against is a character who dislikes their disability. Again, it can be done well if there's a lot of effort involved, but it's really not something I look forward to when we're talking about abled writers. Even if their intentions are good, or even if they want to show the diverse spectrum of disability (which again, is true! There absolutely are people who feel purely negatively about theirs), it feels weird. Like, why is this the story you want to tell? I think that in 99% of cases those kinds of characters are better left off to disabled writers who can actually offer something fresh to this.

Last thing that I want to add: unless you're writing about ableism, or time-accurate historical fiction, don't use slurs. If you want to refer to some things that use any of them (e.g. Cripplepunk) either shorten them (CPunk), beep the slur out, or at the very least acknowledge that they are slurs.

I hope that this helps,

mod Sasza

[bayetea]

Frazel headcanons pls 🙏🏻we need good representation I only trust thou

I don't know how these headcanon posts are supposed to look but I really started yapping in almost all of these so sorry for the paragraphs <3 I have many frazel headcanons but I have to limit myself somewhere so here's what I have for now !!

and there's nothing explicit here but jsyk I'm very adultpilled when it comes to pjo characters (which means that I grew up with them and now I just automatically imagine them in contexts where they're young adults) so I'm basically thinking of these as if frazel has been dating for years and is in their early 20s or something

on the first day frank arrived at camp jupiter he was wearing a shirt that hazel complimented him on. if it weren't for the camp jupiter shirts he would have worn it like 2 or 3 days a week because of that compliment. he totally grew out of it after the blessing of mars (which appears to have worn off in toa, except frank is still muscly. so still too big to keep wearing his old clothes) but he still has that shirt in his room years down the line, even after they've been dating for forever

when hazel gets mad at him she's prone to letting her emotions get the best of her and storming off without communicating, and she's the type of person who wants time to herself to process her emotions. even then, she doesn't like to explain herself or initiate difficult conversations unprompted (she's from the 30s repression is all she knows lol); frank is used to this, so he tries his best to give her space first and then delicately ask her things like "can we talk?"

but also frank gets extremely depressed when hazel is upset with him. he hates himself the most when he feels like he isn't being a good boyfriend, which is just an ongoing source of anxiety for him

frank is better at controlling his anger around hazel - and in general he very rarely gets upset with her. I think he has an (probably unhealthy) tendency to uphold this "hazel can do no wrong" attitude, which might result in him repressing/downplaying his own dissatisfaction with some of her behaviors. hazel is generally aware of this, so she too might ask him questions like "are you sure you're okay with what I did? are you sure you're sure?" and those extra urges are necessary to get frank to be candid about his feelings. basically they're good at getting each other to open up about their real feelings

(ignoring toa) frank genuinely does not think about his firewood anymore. his trust in her is so innate that he feels no need whatsoever to have it on his mind. he doesn't even want hazel to bring it up in conversation or remind him that she has it unless absolutely necessary - partially because of that one time in the books where it says that frank even thinking about the wood catching fire caused it to catch on fire lol (and it's arguably selfish for him to put that kind of major responsibility on her for basically the rest of their lives, but idk - maybe love is just selfish sometimes?)

hazel on the other hand is hyperaware of it at all times, even with leo's protection. she thinks about it everyday and she double checks that it's still on her person any time she leaves and enters a room. it's kind of a lot, but she made the choice to accept responsibility for his life and she's okay with that, so she puts in the conscious work every day to ensure that nothing bad ever happens to it. it's a sacrifice and a commitment that she's ultimately okay with upholding because she loves him that much

hazel got frank a silver watch for his 18th birthday and he wears it all the time. but also when she's feeling like a rascal she controls the metal and very very gently tugs him in her direction, even when he's kind of far away. so frank could be in the middle of an important conversation with someone and then he feels his arm being lifted towards her, to which he readily reacts like "uh sorry my girlfriend is calling me I gotta go" and then he runs off - and the other person is always like I didn't even hear his phone ring?????? man he does not fw me for real

hazel is better at kissing than frank but only slightly. they'll get better over time!

frank LOVES christmas and hazel is pretty uncomfortable with everything about it (christmas was always extremely depressing for her, she's uncomfortable with being showered in gifts, bullies at school told her when she was like 6 that santa wasn't real, etc etc) so they've compromised - frank gets to decorate the praetor house for christmas as much as he wants and they get to have a tree but they only put one gift for each other under the tree, and frank isn't allowed to play the michael buble christmas albums at all times

frank canonically took canadian french classes in school, and hazel knows some louisiana french - but in son they're not really able to talk to each other in french because they're not fluent speakers and the dialects are so different. I think that eventually they would try to make an effort to get on the same page and become more fluent so that they can have cute private conversations <3 and I think hazel finds it's really cute and charming when frank speaks french, she thinks it suits his voice so well

frank is super anxious about hurting her because of how much bigger and taller he is. like it's probably happened once or twice that he really did hurt her on accident (i.e. bumped into her and she fell and hurt her head, playfully smacked her arm and it Genuinely Hurt, etc) so he has a habit of treating her like delicate glass sometimes, which hazel doesn't like lol

they're an interracial couple with a major height and size difference so they get stared at a LOT in public, mainly whenever they leave camp jupiter. the stares bother hazel a lot more than they bother frank, which activates his urge to get protective so he might stare right back at them until they look away

this is from a (18+ sorry lol) fanfic I'm writing but I think hazel has a habit of placing her hand/her ear right on frank's chest so she can hear his heart a lot. I think she'll always be recovering from asphodel and all that time she spent surrounded by the dead, and so she likes to feel with all her senses how alive frank is

(also from that same fanfic sorry lol) frank HATES arion. he cannot stand that horse. and deep down there is an extremely immature part of him that's like "I can literally turn into a horse why does she even need that jerk :/" but he tries to keep his mouth shut because he knows arion is hazel's bestie

hazel educated herself on metric system conversions and so she tries her best to only use those when she's talking to frank, although she slips up sometimes

frank makes a huge effort not to make modern pop culture references in front of her, but he does slip up sometimes and he always tries his best to explain the reference

and a bonus - my frazel voice headcanons <3 (I tried my best but tumblr isn't letting me upload audios no matter what I do so here are spotify links sorry)

frank: not actually as good of a singer as this guy but I just know that 20-something frank has a deep sadboy voice

hazel: she may be the daughter of death but her voice is light and airy like an angel's <3 sorry I'm just never going to be a deep-voiced hazel truther

[violetasteracademic]

Yet again, a million years late but I cannot control when I must burrow in my hidey hole

2024 Fic Writer End of Year Roundup

Thank you for the tags, my beloved @rosanna-writer @foundress0fnothing @yourstarsmyscars

Answer and then tag three or more creators to keep the game going!

(If you're in my answers consider yourself tagged if you'd like to play!!)

1. How many words did you publish on AO3 in 2024?

This was my first year on AO3, and I posted 216,682 before the calendar year ended!

2. How many fics did you complete this year?

2, one longfic Golden Doe in a Valley of Shadow and a one shot, Before the Night Ends, made specifically for my beloved @theseersgarden and some beautiful Elriel art she had commissioned by Lulybot! (This one may technically not be finished... we shall see)

3. How many in progress or ongoing fics did you start this year?

Four in progress, all three parts of Velaris Memorial Hospital (which is kind of like one big intertwined Feysand, Nessian, and Elriel AU) and another long fic, A Court of Twisted Fate

4. What was your favorite thing you wrote?

Oh this is so hard. Everything I wrote was what I needed in the moment, so it's difficult to disentangle myself. But I do think Me, You and the Moon Part One and Two from A Court of Twisted Fate was one of my favorite experiences writing. Also some of my favorite things I wrote haven't been posted yet, so I can't share yet!

5. What piece was your most experimental or different from your usual style?

Absolutely Velaris Memorial Hospital. I have been writing third person limited fantasy and sci-fi for well over a decade, and have followed that in my fanfiction. Writing contemporary romance or modern AU in first person perspective was not something I ever imagined doing, but it has unlocked something in me. I am a huge contemporary romance reader, but writing has been an incredible new journey and I have so much newfound respect for first person perspective!

6. Did any fics surprise you - either while writing or their reception?

Again, Velaris Memorial Hospital. It is by far my smallest readership (which I expected, I am new to the Nessian and Feysand arena and of course there's a huge variety of ship and character preferences. Not everyone is a fan of all three brothers and all three sisters) but it has wound up by far being some of the most engaged and supportive readers, and I have been absolutely loving writing for it!

7. Do you have a fic you wrote and loved that went under the radar? (This is your sign to reblog/repost it!)

Hmmm it's a bit hard to say, I don't have have that many fics out and not a super good sense of this yet. I do think my Nessian fic, The Albatross has my lowest metrics overall. And writing for Nesta and Cassian has also unlocked something very deep and inspired within me. But VMH is an enormous project and kind of choose your own adventure, so I hope it gets some more love in the long run!

8. Who is an artist that inspired you?

Literally too many to count but I have to give the biggest shoutout to @elainemg97. Her artistry knows no bounds, and she is one of the best Elriel eggs out there. She is always kind and encourages positive fandom behavior, and is so encouraging and passionate about helping other artists grow and encouraging them on their journey! @stickyelectrons has such a beautiful eye for color, I just love what she manages (especially for Lucien) and I'm such a fan of @santkazoya and @tealeaves-and-rosepetals

9. Who is an author that inspired you?

Literally way way too many to count. @yourstarsmyscars, @rosanna-writer, @foundress0fnothing, @nikachansstuff, and citizenofvelaris are not only phenomenal writers but inspired beta readers and I feel so lucky to know them. @bloomingdarkgarden and @tealeaves-and-rosepetals are magic and pixie dust, truly phenomenal writers but also so available to support other writers and brainstorm and daydream with. I definitely have a lot more fic to read, I write much more often than I read so it leaves me pretty behind. But I'm sure I missed some and there are so many exceptional writers in this fandom!

Oh also, @tswaney17 has stepped away from fic writing but I'm SO excited for her journey repurposing I Do Bad Things With You into an original story for publishing!

10. Who is a new author you discovered?

See all of the above, but a special shoutout to @jasmineandcedar who writes such lovely short form pieces for Tumblr and did a Shakespeare inspired piece that had my jaw on the floor.

11. Did you do any collaborations? How did it start?

Before the Night Ends with @theseersgarden! It started just with @theseersgarden brainstorming ideas for a caption for an artwork in process, and trying to come up with a title/head canon/sweet moment to describe the scene. And then it spiraled into, wait a min... there's a whole ass fic here.

12. What accomplishments are you proudest of?

It has been really awesome to see how well received Golden Doe in a Valley of Shadow was. I try not to get too caught up in what fic is the most popular and whether or not I'm showing up on "best" lists, because art is subjective, and as I mentioned, I think some of my best work has had the smallest engagement. But Golden Doe in a Valley of Shadow was my first ever fic. I was a little baby on tumblr and thought maybe four or five people would read a few chapters. I had no idea it would take off in the way that it did, and it still stuns me to this day. Other than that, just writing consistently, and finding wonderful people who fill my cup and and are so supportive and encouraging.

13. What did you learn about writing or creating this year?

Fic writing is super different from original novel writing in a lot of ways, and I still feel like I'm getting my footing in a lot of ways. I find myself very often coming to my fellow writers being like- does this fly in fic culture? Am I overthinking this? But I think the heart of all creative writing is the same, which is trying to find the joy and a build a story that draws readers in and it's just a beautiful thing to invite people into the visions that take place in your mind, even if you are still learning and imperfect. Because you never know what will connect with someone. Also, shadows make great dildos.

14. Any advice you’d like to share with new or aspiring writers?

Don't be afraid of the work. Do not fear the muck. Lean into the trenches. I am a huge advocate for transparency in the writing process, and the writing world (fic especially) I think is extra guilty of uplifting the work that just flowed out of them and took no effort at all. Grabs face LISTEN TO ME. Your best work might be what you fought the hardest for. Your strongest scene might be the one that had you in a black pit of despair, extremely close to giving up. Writing is a craft. The only way to get better is to write, this is true. But many people write thousands and thousands of words and never improve, because of the notion that writing should be easy, that it can only happen when you are inspired and flowing and know what you are doing.

Do not fear the trenches. Do not shy away from the work. Not everything comes easily. That doesn't mean you are a bad writer or can't do it. DISPEL the ideas that writing should be easy or come naturally or not require deep effort and work.

15. What are your creative goals for 2025?

To focus back more on original work. I don't do well with working on more than one project at a time, and I really dug myself into it working on four stories at once. There is no room left for my novel writing, but I can't leave projects unfinished or they will weigh on me. Also continuing to figure out my place in fandom and sharing what I can while staying away from the things that drain me and take away my joy. OH and letting myself take more time. AO3 is an archive, the work will live on. Encouraging myself to be human and need rest and time away. It's so critical to detach from the need for a constant stream of validation, breathe, and focus on the work and your well being.

If you’re tagged in this, please consider yourself tagged for the game!

[fanfic-obsessed]

I have a prompt for you, in light of the recent (very entertaining) DCU aus you've posted. If you were going to do a batfam-are-cryptids-but-now-the-justice-leauge-meets-them thing, how would you do it?

Have I told you thank you yet, @somestorythoughts, your prompts and responses make me so happy. Also I almost always end up with  more to write, which is fun.

Now back to the important part.

Fair warning, I screw with ages and timelines with this one. There is no canon here

I think, as far as a cryptid status is concerned this will be a ‘Batman is a founding, and funding, member of the Justice League, but has never revealed his identity’ kind of idea (with all the precautions therein to make sure even the metas can’t guess his identity). There is some speculation throughout the Justice League that Batman does not actually have a civilian identity, that he is the spirit of justice possessing a cape and cowl (Seriously there were three attempted exorcisms).  It is known that Batman always works alone, and that no one is to set foot Gotham, a few of the youngest members disbelieve that Gotham even really exists. 

However there are always rumors that can’t quite be dispelled.  No one in the Justice League can figure out the Watchtower’s firewall (designed by Oracle). Through the years there have been half heard conversations by the JL that almost sound like a wellness check after a fight, going either direction over a com line they can’t access. Sometimes during particularly difficult fights masked strangers will appear, most of which fight with styles similar to Batman, only to vanish again without a word. A few swear they have caught code names (Robin…or maybe Red Robin…Or was it Red Hood…no it was really Black Bat…there might be a BatGirl????) but no one can confirm anything.

In addition, it is impossible to quell the rumor that entering Gotham uninvited means you will disappear.  Not every time and no one can figure out the difference between being escorted out and vanishing, but there have been several heroes from the community who vanished after entering Gotham over the years.

What’s really happening is that I love the Young Justice Team and want a way for it to work with Cryptid BatFam. 

Two of the most notable, the first but certainly not the last, were Bart Allen, Impulse, and Cassie Sandsmark, Wonder Girl who entered the city limits together to try to prove that they too could be heroes. Both were 15 when they vanished.  Unknown to anyone else, at the same time an unnamed clone of Clark Kent and Lex Luthor was also sent into Gotham, as a test of some kind. 

All three of them, for different reasons, entered feeling abandoned or dismissed by the people around them. So when they encountered Tim Drake, as Robin, age 14; he called dibs and adopted them on the spot (Tim: These are my children Cassie, Bart, and the newly named Connor. Yes, I carried them in my very own womb and I am very proud of all of them. No, I will not accept questions. Batkids: Cool! Niblings. Batman<sighs>: At least tell me you didn’t kill someone to acquire them. Tim: I just told you, I birthed them myself).  So Cassie, Bart, and Connor are absorbed into the BatFam. Both Bart and Cassie decide against telling anyone where they are, with Connor not really having anyone to tell.  It should also be noted that the JL avoided asking Batman about the whereabouts of the kids who vanished after entering Gotham, they didn’t want to admit where the kids had gone. 

Three years later, Jason, as Red Hood (Jason did not die here, though it was close. He still took on the moniker of Red Hood after a beating by the Joker), age 19 happens upon Roy Harper, age 20 after Roy had a fight with Oliver and does the same thing. Only Jason dragged Roy home and introduced Roy home as his newest brother, giving Bruce a crazy look that said under no uncertain terms that Bruce better break out the adoption papers immediately; never mind that Roy was not underage.  

At the same time Raven, originally 26, was de aged to about 8 due to an attempted possession by her father, accidentally portals into Gotham and practically climbs Dick Grayson,age 22, in fear. The effects of the spell and the portal wiped her memories past her physical age.  So now Dick has a daughter as well, who he thinks is a Gothamite since he never saw the portal.  As far as anyone from Justice League Dark can tell there was a portal leading to Gotham where Raven disappeared but no one knows what happened (Batman and his family are looking for an adult Raven and never connected her to the 8 year old Rachel that became Dick’s daughter).

Others also disappear, having been adopted by the Waynes

What I am saying is that Gotham is considered quite a bit more dangerous to the caped community and the Batfam encompasses a few people it might not have otherwise. I think it would be funnier if Batman was not aware of his family's cryptid status (It never occurs to him that his kids have never been invited to join any of the younger generation teams).

Something sparks a partial return of Raven’s, now around 14 or 15, memory, enough for Rachel (who is the current Robin) to realize she is Raven. At her request, Batman announces this at a meeting and her intention to remain Dick’s daughter and Bruce’s granddaughter.  The JL react confusingly (they are all losing their collective minds at the thought that Batman has kids AND grandkids).  His response that one of his sons made him a grandfather when the boy was 14 does not inspire confidence.  Eventually, and I do mean this takes ages, it leads to the entire Batfam coming up to the Watchtower.  In spite of the masks Barry recognizes Bart, and after a moment the Wonder’s also recognize Cassie. Both had been desperately missed (the feelings of abandonment had been a misunderstanding).  Though the Wonder’s and the Speedsters both try to hug their missing members, it becomes clear that you can pry them from their mother, Tim, introduced as Red Robin, only when Red Robin is dead. 

The Speedsters look at each other, shrug, and immediately start lobbying Red Robin for Visitation (it does not matter that Tim’s kids are all adults with their own lives in Gotham). The Wonders do not have a chance to do the same as Connor, code name Agent C (he decided he did not want to be a field Vigilante, instead he has taken on a support role, like Alfred, where he is their Mechanic/Mechanical Engineer), drops the bomb that he is a Clone of Superman and Lex Luthor (Connor had not been told enough by the scientists at CADMUS to know what was going on, or even if Lex was aware his DNA was being used but of course the Bats did a DNA, he didn’t even know what the lab was called or where to find it).

Superman does make the connection to CADMUS labs, which he had shut down a few years earlier-though he never put those reports in the Watchtower computers as he considered it an internal matter (Batman would like it noted that all of the Batfam reports end up in the watchtower computer and is irritated that the other heroes do not do the same). 

Connor had been the only ‘viable’ clone but all the records (whether viable or not) had been stamped with ‘failure’, so Superman had not known that there should be a clone of him out there somewhere.  Also the intervening years of being able to process, ‘hey this person I knew, and was once friends with, stole my genetic material to try and create a new person without my consent or knowledge’ without having to deal with the results of said actions (Compounded by the guilt of not being able to look at this miniature version of himself without making the connection to his enemy Lex and his violation, knowing intellectually that it was not Connors fault for being created or that Connor was created specifically to be a weapon against Superman, but still not able move on emotionally, not enough to be responsible for a child) added to the fact that it is pretty clear that Superman does not need to be responsible for Connor means that superman can verify that Connor is happy where he is, which he is. Then Superman can, with a clear conscience-since Batman is undeniably paranoid enough to have a plan if Connor becomes a villain or an actual problem, offer to help with unexpected powers and have Connor meet the rest of his family. 

So Red Robin is simultaneously mediating the reunion between his three children and their other families, all the while ready to take down a Cape that breathes wrong in their direction. 

Red Hood, sans helmet but with a mask, is creatively and rhythmically cursing Green Arrow out on behalf of Roy (I want you to picture a Red Hood that practices and excels in the art of Flyting).  Green Arrow had made an immediate, and poorly phrased, inquiry into Roy sobriety.  Roy has been sober for almost 3 years. 

Damian, codename Firebird, is critiquing several of the last major fights and their fighters while having a discussion about blades and underwater fighting with the Aqua family.  He is also keeping a protective eye on Nightwing and Robin, who are facing off against JLD (who would like to see if what happened to Raven is reversible-mostly to make sure she is healthy and whatever happened is stable, Nightwing and Robin are taking it to mean they want Raven back instead of Robin). 

Steph as Spoiler, Cass as Black Bat, and Duke as Orphan are explaining to a largely horrified audience of former Titans the complicated legacy of the Batman, Robin, and Batgirl names in Gotham (The current Batgirl, Helen Wayne-12 year old daughter of Selina Kyle and Bruce Wayne- is standing with Bruce and Alfred-mask firmly in place. She is new to the name and this is her first mission outside of Gotham). It is at this point that the Justice League finds out that there are a number of times when the Batman they dealt with was NOT the same person. Someone also brings up the rumor that Batman is actually a haunted piece of clothing, to the entire BatFams bemusement.

At no point during this process does anyone in the Batfam reveal their civilian identities (save the ones that are now known, like Bart, Cassie, and Roy).  They also do not admit to the fact that every single one of them steals and impersonates each other frequently (Tim holds the honor of having patrolled, handled an Arkham breakout, and met with someone outside of Gotham, and handled a world wide invasion in every vigilante identity from Gotham successfully).  

It also should be noted that this does not provide clarity to the Justice League about any topic regarding Gotham or its vigilantes.

[bucksaiga]

I do not want to do discourse but I am quite tired so feel free to scroll past this or ignore it idc

First and foremost I do not care if other positivity projects exist. They can exist in unique ways for unique reasons. It's a beautiful thing. I'm sure people love what they do and they're doing it for fun. Personally? I love what I do. A normal amount. And I do it my own way. Kinley Café is my heartbeat and it's always been a project that I deeply enjoy and that I am passionate about. I ask for nothing in return except the chance to touch other people's lives and make them smile by sending out your orders.

I am so comforted by the amount of love and support I receive. It's motivating and has helped me through difficult times. I have been so distracted spreading joy that I've basically breezed through what is usually the most difficult month of my life.

And yet. And yet!! I have been reported as spam so the café does not come up in searches (it's limited/partially shadowbanned I guess you can say. I constantly worry that this affects people getting notified when they receive treats because I want them to know someone is thinking of them. But I have been communicating with Tumblr about it, so don't worry too much). I have received phishing links in DMs and on the order form. And more recently, a password protected blog that hasn't had any activity in 40 days receives nearly a dozen notifications out of the blue because of a months old post circulating as some sort of gotcha, and I find out someone is telling people that I copied an idea (from myself btw) and sent out anons trying to encourage people to call me out over...stealing my own idea?

And I don't wanna hear "they didn't know it was me" because nobody asked me shit! I didn't show anybody any disrespect. In fact, I was being supportive! I showed love! I took the time out to make something because I wanted to continue to encourage the spread the positivity.

And yet, people made accusations even though I was being kind? Do you want a trampoline since you like fucking jumping to conclusions?

KC has been open for FIVE weeks. And I've dealt with all this in a short period of time for absolutely no reason. I've been nothing but kind and supportive of others. I genuinely and sincerely try my best.

I don't wanna let this taint something beautiful or let anything discourage me from doing this again. But I swear to god.....this shit is getting really annoying and bringing out the worst in me. lmao why am I fighting for my life during this little hiatus? I'm dedicating my free time to creating things, and collaborating with others just to spread love and kindness. I don't want anything but peace and quiet.

What's next? Do I have to keep dealing with dumbassery? Or can I go back to sending out treats and going on about my fucking business? Because I do not have time for this. I do not want all this static!!!

I've turned off reblogs. If you want to talk to me privately that's fine but this has been a little overwhelming and I just wanted to get this off my chest.

[communist-hatsunemiku]

Can i ask, just based on your tags on the post about copying, do you feel like reuploading someone else's art isnt harming the artist if they dont want it to be reuploaded?

I think the harm is brought onto the artists by the artist's themselves, for trying to police the spread of their work on the internet. It's a fundamentally wrongheaded endeavor, especially because bad faith actors do not give a shit if you put "DO NOT REUPLOAD" on your art. But that's kind of beside the point anyway.

I want you and everyone reading this to imagine what the internet would be like if people actually couldn't download and upload content freely, imagine if you couldn't right click and save an image file, or download a video from youtube. The internet would be a shadow of a shadow of what it is today. It would be a bleak, lifeless place, many amazing works of art and human expression would not exist, and access to stuff that did would be limited to people who either can pay for them, or just not be accessible, period. Lost media would be the norm, things you love could be gone in an instant with no way of getting them back. All human expression would be in real danger of just vanishing if someone's harddrive is fried. Piracy, and "illegal" downloading would be the only way to save things, and it would be much more difficult to do.

This is the real harm of this mindset behind "DO NOT REUPLOAD" watermarks. This is what's downstream of this copyright brained bullshit. Artists trying to push this are reactionary and I'm sorry but I don't respect it, especially when it comes to Miku art.

I do think, as evidenced by the way I run my blog, that crediting artists is very important! In a moral sense, and a practical one, providing the source on the art I post is the right thing to do. And if the art is already here on tumblr, reblogging it is preferable to posting it myself.

[bitethedevil]

What annoys you about fandom culture

Oh that’s a spicy question.

Had you asked me a couple of years ago, my answer would be very different from today. I was a proud member of the SuperWhoLock fandom on here as a kid (I still shudder to think about it), and that was usually what I first thought of when the word “fandom” was uttered.

I think I’ve had a pretty negative view on it for a very long time. Mostly I saw fandom culture as cringe. I later got diagnosed with autism and found out that many of the things I found awful and cringe about fandoms, was me internalizing the insecurity I had about my own hyperfixations and I was projecting that onto other people who were obsessed or passionate about certain subjects.

Now “cringe” is a term I’ve tried to kill in my own life. It has been difficult for me to be really unashamedly into something, but you’re on this blog, so you know I’ve certainly gotten somewhere with it lol. I also first and foremost would never put someone else down about their interests, no matter how borderline obsessive they might seem and how they express that obsession. Because if it happened to myself, I know how things like that would crush my enjoyment when I was younger. It’s a very “let people enjoy what they enjoy”-sort of mind set I’ve tried to develop.

Now, if there is something that annoys me, a part of it is related to the statement above: don’t yuck other people’s yum. It’s not too bad on tumblr (in my limited experience). A few negative posts might make it into the tags every now and again, but I don’t mind that too much. You’re allowed to hate the characters I love.

Any kind of media should be open for whatever interpretation the viewer/reader gets out of it. I even like reading Raphael-hate sometimes if the person has some arguments that I haven’t heard before. As you might have noticed from my humongous list of analyses posts, I like picking things apart, and I like seeing other people doing the same, even if it might be in a negative light.

What I don’t like is when it’s: “fuck this character! how can anyone like this character”. Like sure, fair, but don’t tag that specific character (I know that my examples have been pointed towards Raphael, but I know that some Raphael fans have done the same the other way around). I don’t particularly like the Emper*r, but I’ve tried my best to make sure those posts don’t end up in their tags.

These are things across characters though, but it happens within a specific fandom too. I’m not a huge fan of the posts that are like “this character would never (insert statement)”. I don’t like when a version or an opinion of a character becomes canonized through the fandom and presented as fact. This ties back to the thing about me liking to hear about multiple interpretations and that I think all of people’s personal interpretations are valid. It makes it so that media becomes set in stone and then you are unable to gain anymore from it. It ruins it. You don’t agree with a specific version of a character? Then don’t read it. Or do, and maybe gain a new perspective.

My other points would be those that are obvious: don't harass voice actors or any other real life people because you like a specific media or character. Don't be silly.

I also want to be fair and say that this is the first fandom that I have been super active in in years, and I've said again and again that I love this fanbase for how open and kind it is. I think it's the perfect fit for me tbh. I have dipped my toe in other, more popular fandoms but I have quickly found them too overwhelming, because you have to cater to very specific interests in order to even be heard if you are making content, which quickly creates a very limited eco-system and thus some of the problems above might emerge. Here there is a little bit of everything and when you type in the "raphael bg3"-tag, it isn't loaded with thousands of pages of content anymore. That makes me more curious about things I wouldn't normally be into and that broadens my horizon a bit. I like that.

(Thank you for the ask <3)

[deepspacedukat]

The Lifeline - Part Three: To Have An Open Flame

Vreenak decided it was his turn. He's the kind of chaotic stability I needed right now, tbh. Anyway, still winging it. Enjoy!

Part One here. Part Two here.

Cross-posted to AO3 here.

~*~

Vreenak (DS9) x Reader

[A/N: There will be suggestiveness in future chapters so 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI!!!]

Warnings: References to Romulan politics, espionage, stalking, references to an interspecies relationship, pre-Romulan/Human relationship, interspecies romance, threats, angst, time travel bs, references to marriage/a mating bond, skeptical Vreenak, Romulan undercover as a Vulcan, mentions of a previous Vulcan/Human failed relationship, he's falling and he doesn't even know it, Romulan reading a Human romance novel.

~*~

I really have no reason to be nervous, I thought to myself as I got my lunch from the replicator. He's probably just uncomfortable with his new surroundings, and being Vulcan, it's difficult for him to express his discomfort.

Turning with my lunch tray, I caught sight of my current objective: Velek sat alone at a table in the mess hall, eating his lunch and reading a PADD. Thinking of those icy blue eyes again made my heart thud in my chest. Really, he was gorgeous, but he was also grumpy enough to make him a bit scary. Well, maybe he himself didn't scare me, but the thought of being on the receiving end of his anger, suppressed or not, definitely did.

Come on. Realistically, what's he going to do? Scowl you to death?

With a deep breath, I made my way over to him, putting on what I hoped was a friendly smile and not a terrified grimace. As I approached, his eyes flicked up and practically froze me in place.

"Yes, Lieutenant?" He asked in an almost deadly-quiet tone.

...I hated that he still sounded so sexy. Really, it wasn't fair. I was actively trying not to fall for any more Vulcans, and he was not making it easy.

"Hi! Er, uh, good afternoon, Lieutenant," I said trying to sound less terrified and more confident. "Is this seat free?"

He glanced at the seat across from him and back at me, seemingly considering his options. The Mess Hall was almost full, so seating was limited anyway. It wasn't like this an unreasonable request, but I guessed he was still trying to find a polite way to refuse. Just as I opened my mouth to apologize and go try to find another seat, he sighed.

"Yes, it is currently unoccupied," he said setting his PADD aside.

"May I...?" I gestured to the seat, trying to give him an opportunity to refuse, if he really didn't want me there.

"...You may." Not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth, I thanked him quietly and sat down, trying to be mindful of his space so that I wouldn't make him more uncomfortable than he already appeared to be. "I trust you're ready for the anomaly scan analysis?"

"Oh, yes. I'm looking forward to seeing how this pulsar cluster differs from a couple of the others I've read about," I answered, and at that he lifted a sharp eyebrow.

"You've worked with these sorts of phenomena before?" He sounded genuinely interested, which I took as a tentatively positive sign.

"Well, as they're rare, I haven't had the opportunity before, but phenomena like these have been of particular interest to me since the Academy, so I've read pretty much all there is to know about them," I explained. "I've studied all the procedures, and I know that actually doing something in the field is much different than just studying the theories involved, but I'm confident in my abilities, so..."

I trailed off with a shrug.

"What about you? Have you ever studied a pulsar cluster up close before?"

"Twice, yes, but not in many years. I was barely thirty when I saw my first, then fifty when I saw my second," he said, and I felt my eyes widen. I knew he was older than he looked by Human standards, because of his Vulcan heritage, but it still took me by surprise that he was over fifty. It really shouldn't have stunned me, hell, even Torek was over seventy. Did...Did that mean he was closer to maybe...ninety?

Mental math aside, I nodded my head, trying to focus on the science aspect of the conversation rather than Velek.

"Oh really? That must've been so fascinating." I leaned a little closer in my seat. "Were they about this size, or...?"

"Both were smaller, actually," he said; some of the barrier in his gaze came down as he spoke. "Neither of the events I observed were quite this strong, either. I must admit, if I was not–"

He cut himself off abruptly as if he'd caught himself from saying something he shouldn't.

"I...am intrigued to see what differences this cluster will yield," he finished quietly, and if I was not very much mistaken, the tips of his ears had turned a darker shade of green than they were before. He crammed a bite of food into his mouth, staunchly not meeting my gaze, and I did the same, not wanting him to feel as though he was obligated to speak if he didn't wish to.

After a few moments of quiet, furtive looks between us, Velek and I accidentally met each other's gazes and froze.

"We're lucky to have you here, you know," I said, trying to set him at ease. "We've been a bit short-staffed lately, so your arrival couldn't have been better-timed."

"...Your gratitude is...appreciated, but misplaced," he began, some of the coldness seeping back into his tone. "I am here for the work. Nothing more."

With that sentiment out in the open, I realized I'd likely overstayed my welcome. Feeling awkward and out of place, I got to my feet.

Maybe his surroundings weren't making him uncomfortable. Maybe it was me.

"My apologies. I'll just...get out of your hair. Have a good rest of your shift," I said giving him a sheepish, apologetic smile and walking away before he could say anything. Shoving my mostly-full tray into the replicator to be recycled, I made my way back to my station. My appetite was gone.

--

Vreenak watched her walk out of the Mess Hall with a sinking feeling. Why did he care whether he'd hurt a little hevam's feelings? She was nothing to him. He was here specifically to avoid acquiring a Human wife. What did it matter if her poor, weak little emotions were injured?

He huffed quietly to himself and picked up the report he was supposed to be reading. Instead, though, his mind was focused solely on the expression that had crossed her face just before she rushed out: a mixture of pain, embarrassment, and regret. Had he truly been so intimidating? A sigh escaped his lips. Of course he had! He was the Vice-Chairman of the Tal Shiar, for Elements' sake, of course his looks were as cutting as his tongue was in Senate sessions.

Putting his own half-empty tray into the replicator, he made his way back to his station, trying to force his mind back into neutral territory to maintain his cover. That same look kept returning to his mind's eye even as he worked.

Later that night, they read through the next chapter of her book. Really, she'd chosen such a trite little story. Were these two actually meant to be together? He hated her, yet she was still mooning after him like a pathetic baby set'leth crying for its mother. It was hard for him to imagine the story ending well, but her Trill friend mentioned that it had a happy ending the last time she visited the Lieutenant's quarters. Why would anyone endure something so painful? Was love really worth that much?

Vreenak read a bit slower that night, finding himself repeatedly distracted by the way she looked. The shape of her nose, the curve of her cheeks...her rounded, extremely Human ears...

Eventually, she went to bed, and Vreenak did as well, but disturbingly, he found himself thinking about the message. 'Vree, honey,' she'd called him. She'd shortened his name, and he had the rather unsettling thought that in her voice, he actually liked how it sounded.

When he drifted to sleep that night, there was a small smile upon his lips at the ridiculous yet heady thought of her saying the entirety of his real name. Not that he would admit to such a thing, of course. Exhausted minds were prone to playing tricks on their owners.

Days passed, during which they kept to their little routine. They'd complete their shifts with minimal interaction, go back to their respective quarters, and Vreenak would read along with her in that insipid romance novel. The male love interest was, for lack of a better term, a complete veruul. If he simply admitted how he was feeling, there would be significantly fewer problems, and they could have ended this terrible book several chapters earlier.

Vreenak was grateful beyond words that he was not that dense. If he cared for a woman, he'd be brave enough to confront those feelings and do something about it. What a coward, that character was to hide behind his fear of losing her as if it was some sort of cloaking device! He was glad they were nearly three quarters of the way through.

He put the book away when she did, and assuming that she was off to bed, he went to change out of his uniform. He'd stripped down, and thrown on a dark green pair of sleep pants and a matching robe, but as soon as he went to begin his evening routine, the door chime sounded. Who would call on him this late at night?

--

When the doors to Velek's quarters slid open, I blinked in surprise. He was already out of uniform, wearing instead a dark green silk robe.

"Do you require something, Lieutenant?" At Velek's harsh, impatient tone, I used all of my restraint to keep from staring at the exposed stripe of his chest peeking out from behind the soft fabric. I must've looked like a startled deer!

"I apologize for disturbing you. The Captain just wanted me to check in and see how you were adjusting to your new post," I answered, which was partially the truth. Velek had been withdrawn - more than other Vulcan crew members I'd encountered, in any case. Despite extraneous socializing being considered largely unnecessary and illogical, most Vulcans engaged in at least a little bit of it. Velek, though, did not, which suggested continued discomfort on his part. "May I come in?"

After a long, hard stare, Velek stepped aside, and I took the opportunity to slip past him into his living space...

His...still-utterly-bare living space. Other than a few data PADDs and an empty glass on a table near the viewport, his quarters seemed virtually untouched. Had he not unpacked in the nearly two weeks that he'd been here?

"I apologize for my appearance. I was attempting to meditate and did not anticipate having a guest," Velek called, but he didn't make any move to draw the sides of his robe tighter around himself. At least he was comfortable enough to take that small liberty. Given the view, I certainly wasn't complaining.

"Where are your candles?" The question flew from my lips before I could stop it, and he paused.

"I neglected to acquire more before my last transfer, and as they cannot be replicated properly, I do not have access to them." Maybe that was why he was so short-tempered! He couldn't meditate properly! I knew how important the candles were to the process, and I knew the replicated ones gave off an unpleasant aroma - something about the synthetic oils didn't settle correctly into the wax mixture.

"Oh, I see. I, um...Is there anything I can do to make adjusting to this post any easier?" I asked as I turned to face him, only to see his eyes skimming slowly up my body as if he'd been observing me. No. That was too much to hope for.

"Nothing comes to mind at present," he said, and I nodded my head.

"Has everyone been treating you alright since you got here? Are they making you feel welcome?"

He walked over to his sofa and took a seat, crossing one leg over the other.

"As the rest of the crew have respected my desire not to socialize, I have no reason to complain." The ice had reentered his voice.

Oh. Right. He didn't like me. The glimpse of his bare chest had all but obliterated my rational thoughts.

"Oh, good. Well, uh, I apologize for interrupting your evening. I'll just go report to the Captain and leave you in peace." I practically bolted from his quarters before I could do something really stupid like asking if he wanted a completely logical cuddle.

--

How odd that she would run out like that right when he was going to break down and offer her a seat and a drink. Granted, he wasn't wearing his uniform, but he didn't look that bad...did he?

He glanced down at himself and felt an uncomfortable wrinkle of insecurity. A bit of his chest was showing, but he knew he looked better in this than he did in a Starfleet uniform. There was no question that this was more sensual, and she'd already admitted to her friend that she found him attractive, so...what was there for her to dislike?

Unsettled, he made his way to bed, but he couldn't coax his mind into a state peaceful enough for sleep. When Vreenak left his quarters for duty as a slightly more tired version of Lieutenant Velek the next morning, he spotted a box beside his door with his alias on the digital tag. Bending to inspect it, his brows lifted at the note it contained.

'I hope these help you feel more at home. Welcome aboard!'

Attached was a file giving written consent for an open flame in his quarters from the Captain. An open flame? Opening the box, he discovered a bundle of traditional Vulcan meditation candles.

There was only one person from whom these could have reasonably come. Glancing at the door to the quarters beside his, Vreenak couldn't help but feel a hint of surprise. Why would she be kind to him when he hadn't been that way to her? He'd attempted to shut down every friendly overture she'd made toward him, but he clearly hadn't succeeded.

And, did this mean she hadn't disliked what she'd seen of him the night before?

...More importantly, why should Vreenak care what she thought?

Quickly moving the box inside, he took a deep, steadying breath and headed to his station in the forward science lab. Sure enough, she'd beaten him there as always.

He wondered, as he often had these first two weeks, whether she'd slept better than he had. The skin beneath her eyes was darker than the rest, and Vreenak was stunned to feel concern bloom in his chest. Her self-deprecating jokes about insomnia had at least some basis in truth, then.

Again, why should he care? She was just a Federation officer! She was a mystery to be solved, a whisper from a potential version of the future, nothing more. He had a mission to accomplish. There was no time for him to become sidetracked by trivialities like some hev– some Human's health. He realized he'd been watching her for several seconds, but before he could turn away, she caught him staring.

Maybe that Trill was right. Vreenak must be getting older if he was slipping so severely.

"Good morning, Lieutenant," she called with a tentative smile stretching her lips. Forcing himself to move, he stepped over to the adjoining station and started his work for the day.

"The candles you left me..." he began, but as soon as he spoke, she looked over at him and his mind went blank. What...had he been saying?

"They...They are the traditional type. A-And, they're not replicated, I promise," she murmured when he didn't continue. "I apologize if I overstepped, but I just thought...I mean, when I was at the Academy, two of the three cadets I shared quarters with were Vulcans, and I always kept a few extras in case they needed them. It's sort of become a habit, and when you said you didn't have any..."

She trailed off, and Vreenak had to exert more force than he expected to keep himself from smiling at her. Vulcans didn't smile. Why did he suddenly resent that?

"It was not necessary, but...I appreciate them. You have my gratitude." He might not really be Vulcan, but the thought and intention behind the gesture touched him. He'd done nothing but be brusque and prickly with her, but she'd still managed to find enough kindness in her heart to offer him yet another olive branch. She was as stubborn as he was.

They worked on their respective tasks, side-by-side in silence for a moment before she spoke.

"So...does that mean we can be friends now?" The mischief in her voice made him glance at her out of the corner of his eyes.

"Do not push your luck," he muttered, and though his voice was as intimidating as it had always been with her, she simply smirked and turned back to her terminal.

And he was proud of her reaction.

The realization made him pause. Proud? What reason had he to be proud of a Human? He should hate her! She was the reason he'd been inconvenienced with this mission in the first place. Her call from the lonely darkness of the Delta Quadrant was what had summoned him from his cushy position in the Senate.

He should be home on Romulus, not wasting his time on a Federation science vessel. Abruptly, he stood and made his way to a different station, acting as though he required access to another set of data simply so he could put some distance between them.

This Lieutenant would not be his wife - she was nothing to him - therefore, there was no reason for him to become attached. Simple.

...So, why did he feel the loss of her proximity so keenly when he reached the other side of the lab?

Vreenak had become too involved in his role as Velek. To a Vulcan like his cover, she would be a perfect candidate for a mate. Studious, dedicated, accommodating, warm...the likelihood of her rejecting his attentions would be low...

Instinctively to a Vulcan, she would be perfect. For a Romulan, however, she was barely adequate. She needed more...more...something. Cunning, perhaps? Her naïveté was clearly uninspiring.

Yes, that was it. Vreenak was simply delving too deeply into his cover. All he needed to do was remind himself of why he was here: to investigate a Federation officer who would, at some point in the future, come to know three influential Romulans by name when she shouldn't. Threat assessment and, if necessary, removal.

Throughout his shift that day, his thoughts kept straying to the candles in his quarters. He told himself it was just one more piece to the puzzle.

~*~*~

Romulan Words:

hevam - derogatory term for human

veruul - fool

~*~

Taglist:

@akamitrani @android-boyfriends @attention-bajoranworkers @bigblissandlove1 @darkmattervibes

@emilie786 @groovyqueer @horta-in-charge @live-logs-and-proper @rookietrek

@slutty-slutty-vulcans @starrynightgardens @toebeans-mcgee

[prismatiger]

AGREE WITH YOUR PREVIOUS POST. I like mean Loop as a facade only, but we know they still care and love...

Now I have a question, what's your favorite Loop takes/headcanon

Oh my god I'm so sorry I took like two weeks to answer this one I prommy it's not bc I'm exclusively a hater or whatever. I just straight up forgot to answer Oopsie. I'm putting this under cut bc it got long enough that you all would shoot arrows at me for putting it on your dash

Anyways there's a lot of Loop Thangs I like frankly. A big one that I enjoy is when fic authors in postcanon make the transition of Loop into the party structure kind of rocky. Usually bc Loop's neuroses creating a level 12 psychic barrier between them and the party + the inherent awkwardness of meeting somebody who's apparently super close in a way (that you'll never fully understand) to one of your friends. Who let's be real I feel like half the party (coughIsabeauandMirabelle) would catch the aura of "oh they do not like us at all" from Loop. I want Loop to be happy and with their family but you just know this bitch is going to make it as difficult for themself on purpose. The Siffrin Special.

I also just generally like when they keep Loop as a star postcanon. I'm not at all a hater towards Human Loop (in fact I think it can be itself an interesting setup for a Loop fic) but I do like Loop as a star more thematically. Something about having to accept that things have changed and moving on from it regardless. Also bc Loop being dysphoric about their body scratches a very transgender projection itch in my brain Yessss little star you're stuck in a body that draws unwanted attention and which you have no control over how it looks and functions in a way that feels fundamentally wrong to you. (Pointing at canonically transgender character) Yooooo this guy is such a cool trans allegory omg

Hmm what else. This is more of a sloops thing but I always enjoy in fics when they lean into the fact it's selfcest frankly. I've become a selfcest enjoyer bc of this ship I'll never get over that act 5 dialogue abt the cautionary tale where Siffrin says he never understood the moral of the story bc the idea of having somebody just like him who understands him. Oh my gyoooooooooooooooood. I want them to melt into sludge I'm always thinking of that analogy from superflyghtheart on discord comparing Loop and Siffrin to endlings of an endangered species. 💥💥💥It's like. This is less sloopy now but I'm caught between the intersection in my head of "Loop would probably benefit from developing their own identity as a person separate from Siffrin bc they need Something they have control over" and "Loop is of the Siffrin Species and they are significantly too sentimental to let go of the shreds of what they used to have, especially after having lost all of it once already". Both of these things are yummy as fuck when ppl smarter than me explore them and they're kinda the main Story Paths for postcanon Loop anyways so I'm always winning. So like idk tldr I like it both when ppl have Loop diverge a lot as a person and when they have Loop try their best to stay as much of a Siffrin as possible!

I'm limiting myself to four paragraphs so you don't all want to hit me with hammers but I do have Loop Biology Headcanons. I've explained mythoughts on their guts before and don't feel like recounting them but whatever True #codacheetahwarriors remember my deranged rambling. ANYWAYS I kind of mentally run on the assumption of Loop's body as like. The Universe couldn't keep Loop in Siffrin's body, bc they needed Siffrin to be in it (and I guess a system situation introduces too many factors of its own? idk). The Universe operates with the goal of fulfilling wishes with the least intervention possible, so The Universe makes a body out of cheap inorganic material (star-scrap basically). Miniature star for a head fueling the body with Craft energy (I'm not going to get into my conspiracy that all Craft is the same here). Molds the star scrap into a vaguely Siffrin-shaped/sized vessel and plonks Loop's conscious into it and calls it a day. So Loop's body as a poor simulacrum of a human body is like. They're capable of breathing but they only really benefit from doing it on a psychological level. They can't eat or drink and don't have a mouth because it would require a significant level of added effort to make a digestive system, when they can just derive energy from their star. They don't have reproductive organs because they're not made from organic material anymore anyways. They don't need to sleep bc their body never gets tired but they still do it because it's not really a great idea to leave your brain on running for too long anyways.

I fucking lied I'm on paragraph five bc the block of text is annoying me. To continue that's all a preface to say I think it's super fun when Loop has body functions that are weird and unpredictable. Their little frizzles on their body are reactive to their emotions the same way their headstar is, and feel like static if you touch them. Their head has a vague boundary so their eyes have something to be rooted to but the function by which their optic nerves work is unclear to everybody including themself. They glow based on intensity of emotion and the temperature of their star changes via specific mood. Bc I think it would be fun if the battlefield in twohats when from ice cold to boiling hot frankly. Ok these are all just my headcanons (temperature one very loose though I'm not a hard subscriber to it) but they're not uniquely mine it's just examples of what I mean. One I don't have as a personal headcanon but I do enjoy is when Loop feels the same physical sensations as Siffrin bc it's funny and I like inflicting misery on the star.

I'm going to shut up now like actually . Loop for your troubles

[lyonnerileyauthor]

hi there! hope you dont mind the nonny message but i was wondering if you could (and were comfortable with) talking about some of the challenges you've faced when monetizing spicy content. ive been considering getting into it and i think im finally ready to take the plunge but i have no idea what to expect.

ps. love your books!

trying to peddle any kind of sexual content is a minefield. I've had posts removed from Facebook, from Instagram, I've had labels slapped on me on Twitter and Tumblr and Bluesky (even for things that AREN'T NSFW, Tumblr being a prime example). I've even gotten dinged by Patreon, despite the fact my account is an 18+ verified account, and they pulled one of my posts. Despite their policy of "change the post and resubmit it, we'll reinstate it," they never did that and the chapter still lives in purgatory. (I had to repost it instead.) It's even difficult to have prints made, and only a few limited vendors are willing to do it, such as Mixam (who kinda sucks for other reasons).

I could go on and on, but be prepared to get your wrist slapped a lot, censor your content (don't use pixellating, a lesson I've learned the hard way) and have strangers go OUT OF THEIR WAY to report you and call you names and accuse you of all kinds of horrible things. (I'm routinely deleting comments telling me to k*ll myself, go to jail, etc etc).

Not to discourage you, just be aware it's difficult and you really have to be careful.

And thank you! I'm so glad you like them!! I really couldn't do any of this without my readers who always encourage and support me.