#it was in part bc i was Not Doing Good. At all. esp monday night. my cat and dog probably got me through a good hour of the worst of it.

[astrxealis]

i am so exhausted i barely have anything to do for the rest of the school year as in. just a few more projects. and then done. but i'm already Finished af. anyway i hope you all are okay, take care okay <3

[weathernerdmando]

.

[cattles-bians]

the damie vibecca exes au part 7

post directory

obsetress: i just. started thinking about little spoon viola and got

obsetress: rly emotional

em: yeah.....

obsetress: and then i thought

obsetress: yeah ok rebecca big spoon viola little spoon but then i was like

obsetress: dani big spoon viola little spoon

em: YEAH BABY

obsetress: and then i really hurt myself

obsetress: esp bc dani is canonically a big spoon

em: i’m tryna remember how tall bexs is but i cannot place it alas

em: dani canon big spoon

em: well! now i’m thinking abt it and now I’m emo

obsetress: google says tahirah is 5'4 so same more or less

obsetress: viola n her shorties

em: viola is nothing if not consistent

em: loves a routine

obsetress: another thing for her and jamie to bond over

obsetress: routine

obsetress: and dating the same women

obsetress: no literally the same women

em: jamies like um. before they leave for a trip jamie packs everything up and sits on the couch for 15 minutes to see if she’s forgotten anything

em: otherwise if danis checking everything they will get 30 minutes down the road and realise they forgot pants

em: dani can also be a little bit of a disaster as a treat

obsetress: as a treat!

em: it’s not her fault! she’s got a lot on her plate

obsetress: dani clayton: will remember the strap but forget their toothbrushes

obsetress: every time

em: bsgskdhdjdhdjgdksdjdhkdgdkshsjdhsjeg

em: dani: yeah but.. in my defence... you can buy toothbrushes everywhere... jamie: no but i really like those bristles

obsetress: jamie: spent two months wearin em down

obsetress: dani: you brush too hard anyway, jamie, really, just

em: breaking them in like boots

em: dani clenched fist clayton talking abt brushing teeth too intensely

em: i love them. i love these idiots

obsetress: god right

obsetress: they're Perfect

obsetress: you know who else is perfect

obsetress: dani big spoon clayton holding viola while she cries herself to sleep because the judge changed their custody agreement and now arthur's getting isabel on christmas day and and whispering in her ear that it's going to be okay and pressing soft kisses to the back of her neck and shoulders and––

obsetress: deranged. absolutely deranged

em: hannah

em: like it’s v good and emotionally rich and a big brain concept but i despise u for putting it out in the world

obsetress: i despite myself

obsetress: anyway um

obsetress: dani and viola do christmas together that year because it's not like dani has anyone either

obsetress: and then, y'know, viola's alone again (rip) and sits in her big apartment and drinks martinis and orders catered duck or some shit and watches it's a wonderful life and cries

obsetress: but then

obsetress: christmas miracle time something something all forces yield to time and a couple years later

obsetress: there's a new christmas tradition and dani and jamie and vi n becca all spend christmas together

em: ahhhhh i love that

em: my one quiet headcanon is. jewish dani so i flipflop between ‘dani alone on christmas angst potential found family aw nice’ vs like ‘dani wasn’t really doing anything anyway but it’s nice doing things w people u love :)

obsetress: oh i love that

em: anyway viola drinking alone on christmas and dani rocks up w a birthday cake that says happy birthday **jesus

em: & she’s like sorry i couldn’t uh. find any fruit cake lmao

obsetress: god yeah that's perf

obsetress: dani's like "i know it's not, uh, the same for... for a lot of reasons, but... i could... spend it with you? if you want?"

em: love that love viola and dani watching old movies on christmas

obsetress: dani's like "i don't know christmas, but i know judy garland"

em: maybe there’s a little absolute shit talking abt arthur but dani manages to steer it back when it gets Too heavy

em: knows when to push and when to lay off etc

obsetress: she's so good

em: also OT4 christmas parties sound absolutely bananas

obsetress: god yeah like

em: they’re ALL the lesbian aunts that down a bottle of vodka and ruin christmas lunch

obsetress: ok they get together for the last night of hanukkah to all celebrate with dani but it's usually very chill but then over christmas they just go apeshitt

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: like

obsetress: viola's making her and bex heavy handed martinis and then dani and jamie are going ham on the eggnog

em: jamie goes nuts for hanukkah she’s like ur telling me there’s a holiday dedicated to fried food

em: count me in

obsetress: she's over the stove making latkes for dani every night she's so excited

obsetress: even tho she burns them 99% of the time

em: beautiful beautiful jamie

em: i’ve never tried eggnog

em: kinda want to try it but the idea of raw egg texture freaks me out

em: vegan eggnog

obsetress: v fair

obsetress: ngl i almost said, dani and jamie drunk on oat milk eggnog

em: love that

em: i am constantly flipping between trendy health food vegan lesbians dani and jamie vs like. well. the brits are well known for eating various grey meats

em: dani makes jamie do meat free mondays

obsetress: dani like

obsetress: ok jamie likes her grey meat too much

obsetress: dani is a midwestern boomer beef is basically a food group for her but

obsetress: although i guess they're not boomers in this au

obsetress: still midwestern still likes meat but

obsetress: she reads a lot of articles

obsetress: and she's very insistent about making meatless monday a regular staple of our week, jamie

em: like spiritually dani and jamie are the old soul boomers to the terrifying vibecca power lesbians

obsetress: so true

obsetress: but yeah midwesterners. eat a lot of meat

obsetress: esp the part of the midwest dani's from, it's all farmland basically

em: dani: we can try out new recipes jamie :) it’ll be fun :)

jamie: (british grumbling) cooking’s hard enough when i know what i’m cooking

dani: well. it is harder to get food poisoning from an undercooked vegetable

em: jamies like how was i supposed to know the sushi had been in the sun. it was an accident

em: what’s another midwestern staple i wanna know abt hmmmm

em: oh yeah what the fuck is puppy chow. like it’s in BHAH and i know google is right there but i kinda want to confirm it: even exists

obsetress: oh my GOD

obsetress: i ALSO have a dani clayton puppy chow hc i

obsetress: classic comedy of errors she loves it a lot and is always talking about it and jamie thinks it's actual dog food and then dani makes it one day and

obsetress: jamie sweet tooth taylor eats it all in one sitting

em: jamie sweet tooth taylor never had a chance

[latefrequencies]

okay so here’s what i did this weekend. idk if i’m leaving tumblr or not. i haven’t been using it a lot lately, mostly bc i haven’t felt like i’ve had an awful lot to say in general. i’m either going to go away or else start using it again in full force but i do want to tell you what’s happened.

ever since the start of this year, my boyfriend Dylan and I have been making plans for me to move in with him so I don’t have to live with my family any longer (they’re very LGBT-phobic - i was closeted the entire time - but in addition to that were also just really controlling and manipulative and idk i’d go so far as to say abusive esp considering that i have a background of heavy abuse that my family’s behavior doesn’t come close to, but suffice to say it’s Not Good). anyway we were making plans for me to run away from them and move in with him, much like was the case five years ago when i left my father’s house. we figured out the logistics of things like how I’d get to school, where we’d keep my stuff, and so forth. every time I hung out with him at his house, i’d sneak some of my stuff there so that i’d have less of it to take with me when it came time to actually leave, and all throughout i kept trying to plant hints with my family that i might want to live with Dylan at some point and that i knew how to figure things out if i “had to” leave suddenly or whatever (which wasn’t a wholly unreasonable idea given that I live with my grandparents and What If One Of Them Dies but w/e)

this Friday, on the 20th of February, we finally made our escape and I moved in with him.

we loaded up all my stuff minus my instruments in his car (which i said I was going to give to my friend, who is also called Dylan, I’m henceforth going to call him DM as those are his initials - anyway it was not a total lie bc i did have some stuff i wanted to give him and we were gonna hang out with him first, but that’s how i explained having all my stuff outside the house like that), with the plan to come back to get my instruments, say that we “forgot something” and leave a note that i wrote, much like the one i wrote for my dad and that my aunts gave him after i left his house to live with my grandparents. in it, i addressed a conversation i had with my aunt just that week where i talked about things like how i had wanted to move out of my dad’s house even before my family helped me but i didn’t have friends who would help me but i do have friends who can help me with things now, what if i’d left a note at my dad’s house and left it at that without my aunts meeting him face to face about it, my aunt claimed that she cares about my wellbeing and wants me to be in situations where i can feel free and okay and like i’m actually getting something out of life, et cetera.

we met up with DM and his friend Sol, I was nervous as fuck and was more than a bit high on clonazepam and ashwagandha, i told them what i was doing (DM knew i was going to do this At Some Point, Sol didn’t). they were both happy for me. Dylan and I decided then that we’d leave the public place we’d met up at, i’d get my instruments and leave the note (i’d made multiple photocopies of it so different members of the family could all have copies). we did so, i got my instruments, the last thing i did was leave the note, Dylan and I got into the car and I put on “I See Through You” by Uncle Acid and the Deadbeats because i felt like it was really good getaway music. for anyone in my situation who likes stoner metal and needs a good getaway song, that was indeed the perfect soundtrack and i am never ever going to forget how i felt as we left that place for good.

we hung out with DM and Sol for a few hours at DM’s house. i kept feeling afraid that my family would try to call me or message me (i explicitly told them not to call me in the letter). they didn’t during that time, but after i got home with Dylan, Teacher Aunt tried to phone me twice and had sent me a text asking me to call her, saying it wasn’t anything bad. it might not have been related to the note though because she ended up sending a message saying something to the effect of “I got your note. We love you.” Nurse Aunt later sent a text saying “We love you. Text us if you and Dylan need anything.” As every LGBT person knows, “We love you” is family speak for “Come back so we can fix you.” Anyone who knows me knows that I won’t be falling for it.

last night was the first night my boyfriend and i were able to fall asleep together, and this morning was the first morning we were able to wake up together. he made breakfast for us and we talked about things and we both agreed that we were happy that we’d finally done it and we’d finally gotten me out. i’m going to start medically transitioning as soon as possible (DM, who is trans himself, knows all about how to go about transitioning and has agreed to help me with that). i’m going to work on legally changing my name and gender too. by the time i graduate, i’ll hopefully be able to pass well enough that i won’t have to out myself to future employers. 

my aunt sent me a text in which she told me i needed to call her (for reasons that were actually fully reasonable and i did need to call her about them, i’m not going to get into it). i did so and we talked about it and she claimed she wanted to respect me and knew that i was afraid that my family wouldn’t love me and they’d judge me and she wanted to assure me that that wasn’t the case. despite that, she continuously addressed me by my birth name. unsurprising. i might have to call or text her again, but i’m almost definitely not going to have to see her face to face again. and if and when i do, i’ll probably have been on testosterone for a bit so haha fuck you aunt, she’s gonna hate it and i’m gonna love it.

anyway. i’m doing okay. i’m doing better than I have in my entire life. a lot of things are going to change but most of them are going to be for the better. i’m not going to have to be around anyone i Don’t Want To Be Around. it’s exclusively going to be people who actually respect me and accept me. (i mean i’m sure i’ll encounter some shitfucks now and then, the world is full of them and i can’t expect everybody to be decent, my point is that they won’t need to be part of my life now). on Monday, i’m going to meet with my German teacher and tell him what happened, which seems like a weird thing to do but he’s one of the few people in my life who seems like he cares about me in any specific individual way (he says outright that he cares about all of his students), and being that i still have that psychological need for the approval of authority, i’m going to tell him because he’s certainly going to approve and he’s the only authority figure who will. 

but. yeah, i’m living with my boyfriend, i’m going to probably spend a lot more time with DM too (and I’m becoming better friends with Sol too, AND after talking to a classmate in my German class about the situation - we had some time in class where we just talked about whatever together so i told him i had great weekend plans - anyway there’s a guy in my German class called Mitch who I might end up becoming friends with, yay). and also i don’t need my family’s approval for who i’m friends with anymore, which used to be the case but No Longer. so my social life is gonna get a lot better. and everything’s going to get a lot better. this is the thing that i’ve been waiting for. longtime followers of my blog undoubtedly have been waiting for this very day as well. i’m happy to tell you all that that day has come. 

[jichew]

kim seunghun♡soulmate!au

a/n: this took….WAY TOO LONG to finish. I apologize if this au is not as cohesive bc I did write it over the span of a few weeks lol. Thank you all for waiting so patiently and feel free to leave any requests as I will be free to write this weekend!!! mwah♡

so,, in this alternate universe exists the soulmate tattoo

yes, i know so creative ;w;

essentially, you are born with the name of your soulmate tattooed somewhere on your body

and you have the absolute pleasure of having the name kim seunghun tattooed in cursive across the expanse of your right hip

spicy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

anyway,,, you’re kind of asjsdjkSAD

bc seunghun is such a common name??? and you’ve met so many seunghuns???

but NONE of them are your soulmate :((((

you would know,, considering u basically ripped a guys shirt off when he told u that yes, his name was kim seunghun but no, he did not have ur name on his hip

uhh but that’s a story for another day :,)

anyway,,, ur kinda bummed??

and it’s gotten to the point where you’ve almost lost all hope of finding him

。・°°・(＞_＜)・°°・。

but anyway ,, life goes on I guess

SO

you’re yedam’s older sister by about 3 years

( sorry forgot to mention that important detail )

you both go to the same high school!!!

ur a senior and he’s a FRESHIE

obviously,,, hes a BABY（≧∇≦）

so ur super protective of him

and when you find out he’s been hanging out with some ,, QUESTIONABLE individuals at school

mom mode: activated

“dammie who r these kids”

“MOM, we’re part of dance club together!! they’re super nice i promise”

＼＼\٩(๑`^´๑)۶//／／

u just want your baby to stay safe u know??

so when he asks to invite his friends over to practice

you’re like ( ˘ω˘ )

yedam: (◞‸◟)

you: (　˙-˙　)

sad yedam is a big fat NO in this household

so you have no choice but to agree

and as his unofficial mom, you decide to greet his friends !

“hi, i’m y/n! bang y/n!” ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

and like ,,,, you lowkey feel bad thinking his friends were bad bc most of the guys are pretty chill

like this byounggon kid??

the epitome of looks like he wants to kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll ( ^ω^ )

but when you get to the last dude ,,,

he just kinda ~looks~ at you

and ur not gonna lie … he’s HOT

like he’s only wearing a hoodie ,, but he has silver hoops lined along his ears,, and his hair just messily grazes across his forehead

you internally: *･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･’(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)‘･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

uhhhh but also he’s staring u down like he wants to kill u

“i’m hun” he introduces himself coldly

(._.)

he still cute tho

so,,, it’s been a while and yedam has continued to bring his friends over to practice

and you’ve come to grow fond of the boys!!!

esp byounggon :,)))

you guys just click???

except,,,, there’s still a certain blonde haired boy who just doesn’t seem to like u???

like u were walking to ur class the other morning

and you just HAPPENED to see him

so u were like,,, hm let me be a nice person today(＾ｰ^)

so you run up to him and grab his shoulder

“hun!!! what’s up my guy!!” ( ＾∀＾)

honestly,, you went in to this thinking that the only thing hun would do is say hi back???

you: WRONG

he kind of freezes for a second

and you’re like???? u ok bud

he slowly turns around

and his eyes,,, literally pierce into yours

he gingerly takes your hand from its grip on your shoulder, letting it limply fall at your side

and then he slowly walks towards you until your back is pressed against the white brick wall of the hallway, his hands caging you in on either side of your head

slowly, he inches his face towards yours

“stop faking nice to me, we are not and will never be friends”

you internally: hnnngg why does he smell so nice???? is that bath and body works? since when did men shop at bath and body works??(΄◉◞౪◟◉｀)

you externally: HMPH how DARE U invade my personal bubble young man i won’t hesitate to FIGHT(● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭

and then he walks off

“FUCK YOU TOO HUN!!! I BET THAT’S NOT EVEN YOUR REAL NAME!! I HOPE U THINK ABOUT WHAT U DID WHEN U GO BACK HOME YOUNG MAN” ＼＼\٩(๑`^´๑)۶//／／

you are a BIG MAD

like??? who does this kid think he is???

you dont really bother talking to him much after that :///

but also ,, you hate yourself bc you’re still so ATTRACTED to him??? and u don’t even know why??? like bad personalities are such a turn off why ,,???

hmph

ANYWAY

so it’s a saturday night ,,

u know what that means…

party @ byounggon’s place ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

bc what’s a bullet point au w out a party am i right???

basically, gon’s parents were on vacation for the weekend, so he took the chance to have the party of the year

and after the stress of exam season, you’re ready to get SMACKED

lmao i do not support underage drinking kids!

uhhh anyway

this is your first party in a ,, while

so you dress yourself up in a red mini dress and some platform heels and strut your hot ass to gon’s house ;)

by the time you walked up to the house,, it was a full fledged RAGER 😤

so like one second,,, you’re just chilling, shaking your hips to some britney spears

and the next thing you know!! you’re downing your fifth shot of the night

“GON I THIBJK IM GONNA THROW UP”

gon: Σ('◉⌓◉’)

the next thing u know you’re in the bathroom bent over the toilet

(;´д｀)

thankfully,,, you don’t puke

but you do drink atleast five bottles of water and take a power nap on gon’s shoulder

anyway ,,, by the the time you’ve slightly sobered up, you realize your head kinda hurts and the party is still going strong but u promised gon you’d stay to clean up soooo

you end up going upstairs to NAP (ᵔᴥᵔ)

but when you open the door to the guest room at the end of the hall,,,

you just HAPPEN to see hun already there on the bed scrolling through his phone

＼＼\٩(๑`^´๑)۶//／／

this man rlly just knows how to push ur buttons huh

if you weren’t so tired maybe you would’ve taken the time to appreciate the way his leather jacket complimented his broad shoulders

like not 2 be rude but this bich looked hella good

but also ur tired :///

“what are YOU doing here”

hun finally looks up and notices you standing in the doorway

and he doesn’t say anything for a while

just kinda stares at you

and it takes you a while to realize that he’s lowkey checking you out

you wouldn’t admit it, but the way his eyes glazed over your form made a pit form in your stomach

finally he locks eyes with yours

“what do you mean what am I doing here, what are YOU doing here?”

he smirks and gets off the bed to step closer to you

“i WANTED to take a NAP but you just HAD to take the only room that doesn’t have people FUCKING” (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾

“well it’s not my fault you can’t handle your alcohol”

this BITCH

“can you PLEASE just leave”

“no”

you let out a sigh of frustration and square your hands on your hips

“why do you hate me so much”

“i never said i hated you”

“well the way you act sure makes it seem like you do” you huff

hun cocks his head a little and steps closer to you

suddenly, it seems like the idea of personal space is almost nonexistant

you look up at him

and u notice the way his hooded eyes rest on your lips

and how the air around you both has suddenly gotten heavier

and you feel your body heating up

and you realize that maybe,,, you’re not so tired anymore

“well how about i prove to you that i don’t”

hun’s voice has reached a whisper, his lips only centimeters from yours

and suddenly he’s kissing you

and you’re kissing back

perhaps it’s because you’re not completely sober that you don’t notice the way his touch burns your hip

and if you do, you ignore it

the softness of his lips against yours almost makes you feel drunk again

and the next thing you know, he’s taking off your shirt, hands finding their way to the curve of your waist

as your lips make their way down his neck, you allow yourself to do the same to him

( you wish you didn’t do that )

because as you push his shirtless body against the bed, you can’t help but notice the cursive scrawl lining his right hip

and in that moment, it feels as if you’ve never been more sober in your life

you’re frozen, eyes resting on his hip

and maybe hun, or should we now say seunghun, is not as sober as he seems, considering it takes him a while to track down the path of your eyes

and when he finally does, his heart drops in his chest

he reaches out to grasp some part, any part, of you

but you flinch away

“y/n…. this isn’t what you think it is”

his eyes are pleading you to stay and listen to him

you let out a harsh laugh

“no, no this is EXACTLY what i think it is”

“y/n please don’t -“

and suddenly you’re untangling yourself from the bed sheets, haphazardly throwing your shirt on and slamming the door behind you  

and in that moment you realize that maybe soulmates aren’t as perfect as the world makes them out to be

so the rest of the weekend is spent in your bed,,, wrapped up in ur sheets like a burrito

you don’t really cry much

you’re just ,,, confused

having the idea that your soulmate knew you were his soulmate but never told you, and better yet, acts like he hates you??

(◞‸◟)

yedam: y/n, why have u been laying in bed all day (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾

you: ;w;

and as much as dammie wants to talk to you, he has more emotional intelligence than most guys his age (or guys in general tbh)

so he pats your back, makes two bags of popcorn, puts kimi no na wa on his laptop and gets under the covers beside you

it isn’t until the end of the movie when the last of your tears have dried on your face that you look up at him with puffy eyes

“dammie, i found my soulmate”

yedam: Σ('◉⌓◉’)

“it’s not that big of a deal… i don’t think he  wants me anyway”

by the time you reach the end of the sentence, your voice falls into a whisper

perhaps you would like to believe seunghun wanted you

but some things don’t turn out the way we believe

“why would u say that” yedam looks down at you, brows furrowed in worry

“uhh, i mean -“

“WAIT … who even is your soulmate??”

you:👀🍵

“it’s … hun”

“W H A T”

and that, my friends, is how yedam realized u can’t trust people in this world :/

so it’s monday

and as you brush your teeth, you can’t help but feel uneasy knowing that you could possibly see seunghun today

thankfully you don’t

but when it’s finally nighttime and you’re making your way under your covers ,,,

unknown: y/n, open your window

unknown: i’m outside and it’s cold

unknown: this is seunghun btw…

you on the outside: what the FUCK

you on the inside: i’m literally wearing basketball shorts how am i supposed to see my soulmate like this (O_O)

and when you pull back your curtains and open your window, you are met with none other than kim seunghun barreling into your room

“how long were you out there??” (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾

“uhhh maybe an hour or so” m(._.)m

and perhaps it’s the motherly side of you that decides to pull his face down and cup his cheeks in your hands in an attempt to warm him up

and you don’t really notice how close you’ve gotten to him until you look down and realize his lips are only centimeters from yours

but when seunghun’s lips form into a little smirk at your obviously flustered state, you quickly retract your hands

“i’m sorry…”

you don’t really make a move to respond to seunghun, choosing to stare at the floor instead

“I know what i did was stupid … and i should have told you from the start… but i’ve had bad experiences in the past with soulmates and i didn’t know if -“

“that doesn’t matter, you should have just told me that you didn’t want me in the first place instead of making me feel this way”

you’re a bit pissed off now

that this dude thinks he has the right to act like that and then barge into your room??

but when you take the time to look up at him

his eyes have softened

and he moves a step closer to you

“i do want you though”

… “ w h a t “

“then why have you acted so rude to me?? when you obviously knew i was your soulmate from the start, why did you hide it??”

now seunghun is the one looking down at his hands

and he looks so defeated, before he opens his mouth

“i’m scared”

you look up at him, but he’s still looking down at his hands

“my dad rejected my mom when he found out they were soulmates. i don’t think … he wanted to deal with the commitment of having a soulmate. he thought they were stupid. so he rejected her and he went off to do whatever the hell he’s doing right now. he went off and he abandoned my mom with two year old me and we haven’t heard from him since.”

a single tear drops from his eyes

and you move a step closer and wrap your arms around him

he’s frozen for a second but he hugs you back

and you both stay there for a while, you rubbing his back in an attempt to calm him down

“i won’t ever leave you seunghun”

he pulls back

and despite his red-rimmed eyes and tear stained cheeks, he cups your face with his cold finger tips and kisses you

and you kiss him back

[chubbychummy]

Positive Week

This past week, I have spent only 2 out of 5 work days in the lab. I have otherwise been at some course in centre city (it’s about an hour away).This has been a good change of pace for me and tbh it just kind of pushes back the work I need to be doing but I think it is a much needed break.

Also a good chance for me to socialise — as I live outside of city centre, it is usually a lot of time/effort for me to get into the city. I have to plan for it. But spending all day here for the course, I was able to do things I would not have otherwise been able to doTuesday afternoon during the lunch break, I ran all over the city going to pharmacies trying to find T which apparently ran out of stock in all of France. I didn’t get all that I needed but it was enough so that was awesome. I won’t have to worry about that again til May.

Thursday, I had the chance to use my lunch break to change my transportation plan from monthly unlimited to what I should have had to begin with: pay as you go. I seldom use public transport since I usually just use my bike. I would have saved about 20€ a month which is nothing to shy from. But I won’t look at sunk costs I spent hat I could have saved. Just nice knowing that starting in May I will start saving money from this change ^^ I should have changed it many months ago (like a full year ago), but again, life came up and it’s hard to juggle everything I have going on. I’m just happy that in the future, I will not be spending unnecessary money on this

Tuesday evening I met up with Delphine. We just sat around and chatted for a bit - it was really low key. She was catsitting for a few days and I got to hang out with a super adorable and nice black longhair kitty (named Negro lmaoooo so they just call him bébéchat) Anyhow it was super super low key but it always just puts me in a good mood to see her. Later that night I went to the bar to a regular meetup type deal and chatted with some new folks I have not met before. Also relatively low key but it was just nice. ^^ Wednesday was a very inefficient day hahahh. (Monday was super super efficient- I worked essentially nonstop from 9am-7pm barely stopping for food. But I was on a good roll. Wednesday was not so efficient hahahh. But that’s okay.) crashed Wednesday night at 8:30pm and had a first long sleep in a week, which was good and my body needed it.Thursday back to the course — but it was a new course! Actually by the same instructor! I had not originally signed up for it but wanted to attend. And she said that she was looking for more students so I was welcome! Which was cool! Upside: I get to complete this course and add like 18h more to my training repertoire, it is in English so it’s easy for me, I am already familiar with the instructor, etc. downside: I still have some administrative stuff I need to sort out in centre city but I literally don’t have the time unless I take a vacation day to get it done, but I feel like I have too much work rn to try to take any day off in the next two weeks. This is my visa and residence permit thing. I needed to have done this two weeks ago hah. But anyhow. It was good that I got in this course - and how!

So there were two girls in this course also, one of whom talked to me (she’s very very talkative) and it was awesome! which is not very typical of a French person, but she did and it was awesome. (She is also fluent in German!)Anyhow the course was very cool and frankly I just felt good about the interactions. ÚwÙ Thursday evening, I had the second to last operation for my tooth surgery shitPutting in the anchor — it was back close to where I live which is 1hr away. So I hopped back on the tram then bus and made it there, got it done (it was fast!!) and it was only 19h20. There was some thing I had in my google calendar in centre city I thought I couldn’t go to cuz of the dentist thing but it was at 19h30, and honestly knowing French people, people always arrive fashionably late. So if I hopped right back on a bus/Tram from the dentist, I could get back to centre city by ~8pm so I did just that

The thing in my google calendar was at the Maison de Chercheurs, but my lab was having an outing elsewhere. So I figured okay, i would go to the one with the people from my lab. Tbh it wasn’t super great for me but also I’m still super glad I went cuz at least it completely eliminated FOMO, and honestly almost everyone was there. Like 20+ people. I hardly talked to anyone, but I was present. I did chat a little bit and the little I talked was fun. I think it was rly good I was there too cuz also I talked with the Portuguese intern who was there (she doesn’t speak French, so it was tough for her. There is only one other non francophone and he is Italian but Luca was there as well.) so she was rly alone and I’m glad I was there at least to chat with her occasionally. Anyhow it was good even if it wasn’t gr8, but I’m still very very glad I went(  Plus since I had been working so much on my own this whole week - and last - I had hardly had time to see folks in the lab)  So then Friday. Was tired waking up having only slept some 5 hours, but what was off to a tired start turned into a really good day.I didn’t pay too too much attention in the course today (had trouble focusing bc tired hah) but then around lunchtime, he girl who sat next to me yesterday (and her friend with whom she works — same cohort) invited me to lunch with them For some reason my student restaurant card doesn’t work here in centre city, so I couldn’t really pay the food things here (I was ready to pay a more expensive price with my bank card or cash but I don’t think they accept either), but one of the girls covered me. Albeit it’s only like €3, but still. (Whereas I think it’d be like 6€ idk)So I had lunch with them - chicken, fries, a dessert, and appetizer ! Good shit! And had a chance to talk to them about some stuff too so that was cool. It’s just rly nice talking with folks and meeting/getting to know new people.

Was late coming back (got scolded by the instructor), but it’s also okay. We worked on an activity where we essentially pretended to be journalists and interviewed one another about our thesis projects and I sat next to and worked with/interviewed this new girl who spoke a very fluent English! And !!!!!!! It was amazing ??????Idk you know when you instantly just click with someone And then like when that happens you kind of ?? Keep clicking ????Like repeatedly as the interaction continues, you just kind of keep clicking multiple times and it never seems to rly stop and you’re just like ??? God??? I rly get you?????? It was like that with her and it was too coolLike someone else in the class actually called out my name to tell me to lower my voice cuz I didn’t realise I was speaking too loudly — I was just ??? Really excited and enthusiastic???!?Anyhow it was just rly awesome and I was like “actually can I get your contact info later bc I would really love to talk”And we kind of had a chance in this mock interview to give each other mini professional life stories (like life stories but only what is pertinent to our professional work track I guess) and idk it was rly coolSo anyhow at the very end of the course I was getting ready to ask her to exchange contact info but she asked me firstLike literally as I was opening my mouth to ask, she was like “actually if you don’t mind—“ and I thought it would have to wait but then she straight up asked me for my contactsAnd so we sort of excitedly parted waysI considered going to the administrative building afterward (closes at 16h30 — it was 16h45 already by now) to see if I might catch someone ask they’re leaving, but also it takes like ten minutes to walk there so I decided against it in the endI was heading back to the classroom building figuring I could just spend 1.5-2hours chilling on discord or twitter while changing my phone and waiting until 18:30 cuz I told someone I’d get a drink with him later that evening. But when I turned around, the other girl was there and she waved and walked over and we chatted some more. Like where are you headed? Just going back home. You live in centre city? Yeah just around the corner. So I offered to walk her home cuz I have no other plans for the next two hoursShe asked if I had seen Les Machines (I had), and she admitted that since coming to Nantes in October (she is from Le Mans just a few hours northeast ), she hasn’t actually gone out and seen much. She bought the new assassin’s creed so she’s just been going home and playing video games all night lolBut she asked if I was down to just walk around and I’m like ?? Absolutely?? I love walking??I suggested the park, which is honestly beautiful - esp on a beautiful day - so we proceed to take the ugliest ass most inefficient route to walk there. But it was okay cuz we kinda just talked the entire time so it was fine.She’s rly rly cool and anyhow we got to the park and just continued talking while walking in the park. Eventually after hanging out with some goats, we saw there was another girl from the same course, who had her husband and her kids with her. So we just stood around and chatted for like another hour or so

Eventually it was 18h30 so I was like huh should probably meet up with that guy I said I’d get drinks with, so we headed in that general direction while still talking. Passed by a... spontaneous mini local food market? So I sent the message to the guy to come over cuz there’s something going on here. And the girl and I awkwardly accidentally walked out of the market cuz it’s rly rly small and takes about 30 seconds to walk through, and we’re just trying to decide what to do. Get a coffee? (She’s Muslim so no alcohol - also I seldom drink and I don’t prefer it). Or a kebab?  She wasn’t hungry but also admitted she didn’t have money on her, and I told her not to worry - my treat. We ended up going back to the tiny food market and I got us both some granola and fruit leather? As a snack cuz she wasn’t rly hungry. But that way we could sit around and chat and munch while waiting for my other friend to show He eventually came and we walked around together but then the girl left (said she had to go home, but tbh I think she had a fear she might have been imposing?)Anyhow I ended up walking and talking some more with the other friend (Canadian guy) and we ended up in some restaurant (oops my bad I thought it was a bar— he likes beers and said he wasn’t that hungry, so a little awk that this turned out to be a restaurant). But anyhow, he got some beers and I got a sausage platter to share for us.And we spent the rest of that night kind of just sharing life experiences and discussing doctorate struggles and remarks about French culture and our experiences and anecdotes and shitIt was just a really really good night

[cxsmicmyeon]

i don't have one either but my sister does so she'll probably be getting a random visit from me soon with a container of fried rice. don't mind me sis ✋ his insta would be him starting a live with "..is this working?" "there's 200k people watching!? ..no that can't be right" and his posts would consist of food and song recommendations 😂 soo is a simple man.

yes i've seen multiple posts of him being compared to prince eric and THEY RIGHT! just thinking of the amount of love they receive is overwhelming 😳

i'm sure you'll get it done in time and you'll do great! i used to not be able to get any word out at all until it was the night before. i can't seem to get it done unless it's under pressure? but also me dying from the stress of trying to finish it. i am a complex being.

she changed it to the 2015 mama performance where they did call me baby + light saber + drop that + love me right 😂 she does really like call me baby, esp jongin's "boom boom boom" part at the beginning. omg she will stop a tantrum immediately if i play the candy mv for her 🤣 i think she likes him bc he's 🔊loud🔊 and she'll imitate him yelling bc she is also an extraordinarily loud toddler lol

i mainly use tumblr on my phone so it's quite easy to switch back and forth! unless it's a whole new account then yeah..no thanks 😅 to our future fic rec blogs 🍻

yeah they are expensive, i really don't know why i get them lol 😫 i need to control my spending way more. ooooo i got 2 tshirts, the plain black prive sweater and the red playground hoodie!! very excited hehe but yes they are quite expensive ☹ i only purchased this time bc someone was doing a group order so i could get free shipping 😂 and everything was about 50% off!!

omg that moment he rubbed his sleeves together, i lost it 🤣🤣 they're all such dorks!! myeon's asmr reading in exo arcade too 🤭

LMAOO go get ur waffles bestie!! i forgot my brother has a waffle maker too so gotta make some fried rice soon!! he'll probably look at me like i'm INSANE LOL but oh well😭😭agh soo on instagram is a dream🥺🥺

ugh my goodness junmyeon is a literal prince🥺🥺i am so endlessly in love my gosh😭😭

agh thank u!! i didn't do too much of it today since i met up with my best friend and we hung out a lot and i was tired afterwards but tomorrow through monday i want to work work work! i procrastinate then get anxious bc i'm not getting work done then i try to work then it comes out crappy i love my brain🤙🏻🤙🏻

your daughter has very good taste!! and YES baek is so loud but that's why he's so loveable!!🥰🥰

i usually use tumblr on my laptop lololol and i only have this blog so i'm not too sure on how to switch but im sure it's easy!! i just may forget to LOL

oooooo i'm excited for you!! (nice with free shipping too love that!) i've looked through the prive site and honestly everything is SO nice but SO EXPENSIVE😭😭i did the same with jongin's gucci collection and my wallet started crying the moment i saw the prices🤣🤣ugh sugar daddies wya😭🤣

agh omg he looked adorable in hanbok!! his white hair really complimented the robe so well🥺🥺byun baekhyun is a BIAS WRECKER (fun fact he was my first bias!!) UGH JUN ASMR PLEASE- his voice is so so so comforting🥺esp when he speaks in english omg😭😭😭

[baekwin]

So I realized I can send a long message on the mobile app so let’s hope it doesn’t get eaten OR I accidentally click the anonymous off 😂

The Nevada memes were definitely hilarious among my siblings and myself but couldn’t do it with my dad.

Once again, congrats on your job! That’s so amazing to get one especially during this time and admits the job hunting you were doing! I hope everything will go well with the roommate as that’s almost a year a part haha do you get along with your roommate for the most part?

I’ve definitely been watching more TV or well streaming videos haha and I think the glasses are helping! I have clear lenses but according to the place I bought them have the blockers so seems to be working!

I was actually graduating from uni when I got into exo, but was doing undergrad, so I sometimes think how amazing it was I was able to pass and get a job when I suddenly threw myself into exo fandom haha I’ve scaled down since then but pretty much still following everything they’re doing haha but I agree, different biases for different reasons haha but it’s exo, how can you really have one?

Yes! I’m so in love with his album! I was worried a bit if I’m honest, but his album is pretty solid and I think works well with his range! My favorite was Hello Stranger and song and film wise and after its Amnesia! I love seeing a happy Jongin 😍

My computer is going to die, I was using it to guide the message since I’m typing on mobile so I’ll be back later with what I have so far on what I think I’ll be doing haha I hope you like it!

If you don’t go on Twitter, where do you get your updates? I’m trying to lessen Twitter but I’m like where can I find the information?! Haha

Let me know if you prefer one message or if you one the split up asks! Have a great week!!!

hello!!! EYE.....did not even know long messages on mobile was a thing omg u have enlightened me 

thank you!! yeah it took a few months and a lot of rejections, but i’m feeling really relieved now that its finally working out. and my first day is next monday!! 

yes i get along with her really well! we’ve known each other for a long time, we grew up going to dance lessons in the same town but were never that close. when i was moving out for work a couple years ago, my dance teacher told me she was moving too and needed a roomie, so we ended up moving in together! and now she’s one of my closest friends and i love living with her, seriously it is sometimes so hard to find someone you can coexist with well and also be friends with haha. and since i’ve begun drowning in exo again i took her down with me KSJDHFJ she loves yixing and jongdae especially, its cuuuute 

ahh yay i’m glad to hear they’re working! esp important this year, since all anyone is doing for entertainment is watching TV lol (speaking of which what shows are you watching?? i just started start up last night, i know i’m so late to the game lmao but everyone seems to love it so i figured why not)

omg that’s so impressive, i’ve mainly had time for fandom again bc of my new lack of social life (100% planning on sticking around after covid is over though). i can’t imagine how it would have been if i had stayed into exo in college...def wouldn’t have gotten as much done that’s for sure lol. sometimes i feel really sad thinking about how much i missed when i left, but then i realize that i also don’t think i would be the same person/functioning adult that i am if i had stayed on tumblr and twitter in college. i used to be really too sensitive to absorbing opinions of people around me, and fandom can get so toxic if you don’t know how to filter the bs so i don’t think it would have been good. so i guess i’m kind of glad i left and then came back when i know i’m more grounded, you know? 

ahh hello stranger and amnesia!!! good taste!!! those are the more chill listening songs on the album imo which is such a vibe. the hello stranger video was SO cool with the projection on the smoke and everything, he really has such an eye for creating art like that aaaaa and yes it’s been so nice to see him so happy and proud during all of the promotions. did you watch the reaction video with baekhyun?? it was so cute T_T 

tbh......my updates are delayed lmao i just follow all the update blogs on here but ofc i understand that there are people running them and they have to live their lives so eh i don’t really mind the delayed info. 

I like this!! esp if it’s easier for you instead of sending a bunch of separate ones!! hope you have a wonderful week tooooo 💕

[stylesmyth]

What’s been going on with you and that boy in your classes? I don’t see any updates on your blog but I’m curious 😋

hiiiiii! so I had planned to make an update three-ish weeks ago about what happened within the prior week, but some school complications that I would rather not share on the internet at this moment (as it is still ongoing) came up, so I was super depressed and stressed over everything (still kinda am), and then spring break happened last week (in which I had a family funeral to go to and then a family members wedding) so I wasn’t able to take time and write everything out at that point either le sigh

But now that I’m back at school (and something happened with the boy yesterday) I guess I can just update y’all here!

So Monday Feb 26, Jordan (the boy) I go to my first class of the day that he’s in. We’re watching a movie, so we don’t get to talk during the class or anything, but I had made a joke before the movie started and he looked back and laughed along with it, and damn his smile is beautifulThat night, before my second class with him, I decide to take a break from developing photos and get some dinner before the grill closes. When I get there, I see Jordan walking out of the grill and sit at a table and I’m like “DAMN IT i missed my chance to talk to him!!!” so I go and order my food and sit at a table inside the place to wait for it, and a minute or two later, Jordan walks back in to pick up his food, but it’s not quite ready yet. He’s standing a few feet from me, I notice him, I know he notices me there, but I think he had headphones in, so I didn’t wanna try to talk and him not even notice lmao. SO, he starts walking further into the place, past my table, BUT THEN he TUrnS AROunD and says “Hey, how long have you been here?” (bc he had literally just left when I walked in, so he didn’t see me before) and I was like “oh, just a few minutes lol” and we get to talking about chicken wings (which I ordered) and the movie we’re watching again tonight before he’s called to collect his food, and when he does, he then comes back to me and says “curly friessssss” and I, for one, am shook my school grill even has those, so I’m quite interested in it lmao then he has to go back to his table outside to do some work, and my food is called soon, and I had to get back to photographybut then when we meet for the second class like 30 mins later, he SiT oN mY RoW, TWO SEATS AWAY FROM ME which he’s nEVer done before so I’M SHOOOKKKKK and he asks me how my food was and so on, and it was amazing, I almost passed out ljdfjaowiejoi

Moving to Wednesday Feb 28, during our break in the nighttime creative writing class, I voice how hungry I am bc I literally consumed NOTHING that entire day, and Jordan just starts pulling food from his backpack oifjaonfsldk he offers me something I can’t remember, an orange, or those like nature valley cookie things and I’m sure I was blushing like crazy because the guy I like was concerned about me and went out of his way to help me. After like five times of making sure he was actually okay with giving me food (bc i have such a guilty complex, I literally never want people to be put out of their way bc of me, esp the guy I like) I finally take the nature valley things, and he eats the orangeWhen class let out, he grabbed my attention before I left and asked about where I was from (bc we found out we’re from the same state) and highschool and stuff, but this other graduate girl decided she wanted to step in on our conversation, and basically pushed me to the side (which i’m still bitter about bc I could’ve learned more about Jordan that night) but I can’t deny what happened before isn’t a lot to begin with lmao

This all leads to yesterday (March 27). I hadn’t seen him in two weeks (bc he was in Alabama for Monday classes, and then the school situation mentioned before happened, so I didn’t see him on Wednesday, and then spring break happened) so the only good thing being back at school brought me was seeing Jordan again. In our first class, he smiled at me when he came in, and then after class, we met at the door, and he asked about the school situation that he wasn’t fully aware of why it happened, so as we walked (super close and for a good amount of time) I explained the situation to him and he was very understanding and sympathetic about it, and it was probably our first full conversation that no one interrupted (sucked at it had to be about the situation instead of something better but I’ll take what I can get right). We had to part ways when he needed to go to his car across campus, and I was surprised to learn he actually had a car bc I’ve only ever seen him on a bike, but I’m glad he does have a car bc it’s still 30degree weather here lmaoand then last night, he sat on the row behind me, but like one seat to my right, so he was RIGHT THERE lmao, and we joked around a little before the movie started but that was about it for the night class lol

SOOOOO there’s your update! Hopefully when things settle again, it’ll be easier to come online and talk about things, but we’ll see i guess lol

[biggamebrass]

lg anon, i'm so sorry it took me so long to respond! my housemates and i are moving, so it's been really hectic around here. let me respond to your two asks separately.

part 1

last we talked about myself? nothing much is new. i mean, i'm dating a great boy (who isn't the boy i've been talking to you about GASP. more on that later.) and i'm moving to a beautiful new house with my friends, so that's great too! we move tomorrow! ah! i also finished the school year with my beautiful kindergarteners, which is so sad - i miss them so much and i'm already SO bored not having work! having summers off isn't really all that it's thought to be - especially when you can't really travel or do anything with those weeks!

last we talked about the boy? hm. nothing much is new. we didn't talk for the last three weeks at ALL. literally nothing. not a text, a phone call. nothing. so i sent him a message last monday on a complete whim explaining how frustrated and upset i was about it. the gist of the message was that i still feel super strongly about him and always have, and i'm sad that - although i always knew he wasn't ready for anything - what we had turned into what it is now - which is nothing. he didn't respond to it for a couple hours, and then i came back to my phone and had four missed calls from him, and a voicemail. he was so upset i felt that way.

i spoke to him on the phone the next night, and we talked for an hour. the gist of THAT conversation was that he would be lying to himself, and to me, if he didn't tell me that all my strong feelings about him are not fully reciprocal - he feels the same about me. "you're beautiful, you're funny, you're smart, you have a great personality and you're one of the greatest people i've ever met". he said that he feels terrible that just because he's not ready, we stopped talking. he acknowledges that while it's not an excuse, he was busy with work and kind of stopped reaching out. he reassured me that just because we didn't talk, he never stopped thinking about me and would sometimes sit there wondering what i was up to, and he took complete ownership for not reaching out in those moments. he asked me if he ever said, or did, anything that let me to believe that he didn't want to hear from me. he told me that he has never been, and will never be, upset when i reach out. he assured me that i can call or text him WHENEVER, and he will always be stoked to hear from me. he told me that he was really upset and almost cried when he read my message because he never wanted to make me upset or make me feel that way. he told me he wished he was ready, and he sees so so so much potential there with me. he told me more things too, things like his want to have a friendship with me for now, he wants me in his life and he's so happy to know me. i've been beyond patient with him, kind, caring and he told me over and over to never change because he thinks i'm truly the most incredible. that was sweet.

it went on for an hour, but that was the gist. it can all be words, but idk. he's such a great guy and that conversation made me so sad. but at least he's still around. the weeks we didn't talk, i thought that was it, and that it had fizzled and i'd lost him from my life. good to know i haven't?

thank you so much for weighing in about everything i've told you. i think honestly i am okay being friends with him for right now, who knows what the future holds.

that being said, it makes me a little wary about my current relationship, because i'm still sitting here thinking that i'm in it "until this boy is ready", but the boy i'm with is also the most incredible. he's kind,  he knows how frustrated i am with the way my housemates leave my house and he says things like "i'll always keep mine clean so you have somewhere safe and tidy to come to when you feel overwhelmed." he knows i'm stressed about moving, and texted me last night just a simple "good luck tomorrow, you've got this!". things like that. he's hilarious, we have the same sense of humour and both enjoy listening to each other's stupid humour all the time. he buys me incredible dinners, always cooks for me. my housemates went out for vegan ice cream one night when i was at his place, and i was sad i missed it so he took me to the grocery store and bought me a tub of vegan ice cream so i would feel happy. he makes so much time for me - even the original guy, the one i've been talking about, only saw me once a week. i'm not dissing him for that, he has an insane job and is always busy, but this boy makes so so much time for me.

he makes plans too! so many boys don't do that! they just say "hey, wanna hang?" and throw a movie on or something. this boy calls with a plan. let's make dinner. LET'S MAKE THIS SPECIFIC DINNER. and then he'll buy the groceries and come pick me up and we'll make it together and then he'll plan the movie or whatever and just ugh. it feels so nice. he's so cute too, he's come to the door when he's picked me up before and chatted with my housemates which is something most guys DEFINITELY wouldn't do, meet all the friends and all that so quickly, but yeah! they all love him, def support me and him lol esp. after everything i put them through re: boy #1.

anyways, he's great. i'm a little worried about it, because i still 100% believe that if the first boy called me and asked me to forgive him and he was ready, i would def leave and go to him. but maybe that will change, idk. ugh. it makes me feel shitty, i don't want to hurt this boy at all. maybe i shouldn't even be in anything. whatever, we'll see what happens. realistically, i don't think boy #1 will do that anytime soon so it's okay.

part 2

first of all - don't apologize! i'm so glad that although you originally followed me bc derick, you've found another outlet in my blog. that makes me selfishly so happy. i'm glad you've realized that within yourself - that you're not ready for a relationship. we've been talking about that a lot in my house lately. so many people want to be ready because they love love and want love, but sometimes it's important to acknowledge within yourself that you're just not ready for it. no matter what you see in someone. it's especially incredible that you're able to separate your desire for dating and your reasons for dating - which aren't necessarily what they're supposed to be. i think it's human nature to want those things, so don't beat yourself up over wanting it. it's a great idea to want to grow and change that perspective before you find a partner.

you're right, it's great to be one of those people that boys are interested in. i've been there and it's def an ego boost. but at the same time, it's sad because while there's all this interest, you still can't find it within yourself to find someone you're actually compatible with, and then it all means nothing. it's better to do your own thing and wait until someone comes along that TRULY appreciates you. you know?

don't regret the things you've said to friends, or the way you've thought about them or acted. it's great you've taken ownership of the reasons behind why you feel certain ways, and have been able to turn it into hard work for school, and on yourself. that takes a big person! which i already absolutely knew you're capable of!

it's so great that you realize relationships that you may have had were pseudorelationships, its huge to be able to tell the difference. if a boy wants a relationship, or a girl! or a person! you'll know. who knows, maybe you ARE ready to start looking again, now that you're aware of all these flags within yourself.

i'm SO happy to hear that my posts somehow helped. they were meant as just an outlet for me to express my frustration over boys and people, so it's so beautiful to hear that someone out there was actually reading and appreciated. honestly, i don't present myself in a certain way, and who knows? that may be it. boys can certainly pick up on authenticity. the media tells you to act a certain way, present yourself a certain way, as a "woman". but that's not true in regular "real person" life. boys, a move everything, just want someone true to themselves. if that's one thing i can pass on, i'll take it. it's SO important. be yourself, and the true "quality" guys will stick around. :)

(and don't apologize for being envious, you're human. we all are. wow you're amazing.)

i'm sorry that boy was shit. you'll find a good one soon, if you're anything like how you talk to me on here, people will appreciate you SO quick.

NOW onto derick. i'm so thrilled you see him the way i do and really have stuck around to be there for him like i am, it's beautiful. yay! i don't have much to add on what you said, i just absolutely love the way you're worded it and it's all SO true. you're bringing tears to my eyes - yay! i love it, love him, love you!

it's so great to see that people appreciate him for who he is. i get a lot of shit from people when they hear that he's my favourite player because he's a "has been", he's been through "every team in the league lately" etc etc but if you REALLY look, you can see how much value he has.

above it all, i'm so happy that derick was able to serve as that for you - someone to see and understand that no one is ever "done", you just have to stick tot what you want and what you believe you can do, and that good things will come. i'm so happy that you've been able to find a career for yourself that you feel comfortable and good in. yay! i'm so happy for you.

thank you SO much for these messages. you're incredible. always remember that. 💛💛💛💛💛

[isthespiceoflife]

Studio 54: Night Magic + More!

If you’ve never been to The Townhall in NYC, now is your chance to witness a super show, n’ as part of the already happening Winter Jazz Fest -- Thurs, Jan. 16 from 8p w/Seu Jorge, one of Brazil’s finest, will be a BIG buzz!

Listen. We can never relive this era the way it was, unfortunately. Making a good attempt, is the exhibit, “Studio 54: Night Magic” dancing off @Brooklyn Museum, March 13-July 5. The talk of the spring, the installation includes -- 600 objects ranging from photography, fashion, drawings, and film, to never-before-exhibited costume illustrations, set proposals n’ designs.

For the intellectual music lover, in LA -- here’s an onslaught of shows curated by ArtDontSleep, for Black History Month: shows from Feb. 2 through March 1. 

Always amazed at the ease this American DJ/producer Sango, transitions smoothly as part of the hip-hop community in any space he chooses. Catch him on Saturday night, in Brooklyn @Elsewhere, Feb. 22. Why’d I always thought he was Brazilian?

On behalf of Basic Space, you are invited to the “Barry's Bootcamp Charity Class for Girl Powerful” hosted by actress Charlotte McKinney, Sunday (1/26) @Barry’s Bootcamp Venice.

Here’s where being a member of luxury insider exclusives such as “Taste of Blue” come in handy -- Super Bowl (LIV) weekend! No recent trending of the JOMO here, it’s all about your FOMO! Of course, if U got it like that...pay upfront, then enjoy access to (pay more of course) perks galore!

Opening for “Portraits of the King” -- an exhibit in celebration of what would be Bob’s 75th b’day, w/photography by Dennis Morris, happens in LA on Thurs, Feb 6, 7-11p @GJD...

WHAT / WHEN: Motion Plus Design | Sat. Feb. 8 (Oscar’s weekend)!

WHERE: @The Montalbán

$: TICKETS!

CAPs please -- DRAMA hits NYC (Brooklyn) again, this time on March 26 @Music Hall of Williamsburg. Tix anyone?

At first it might seem impossible, or like a fad -- but the combo of rap, really good southern rap w/bluegrass, is Gangstagrass’s forté! Come see for yourself, Friday, Jan. 17 8p @Knitting Factory, in Williamsburg. 

Well, the concept is really one for your personal space, but creatively introducing the “Vision Board Party” as a brunch theme, are a few industry sisters that know a thing a two about career, goals n’ vision elevation, all happening in BK @Cloes Corner on Sat, Jan. 18 from 1-5 (brunch) + 4-7p (party)!!

Money & Tings: A conversation on Caribbean Culture + Money   2/20/20, 6-9P || @Workville: 1412 Broadway, New York, NY 10018.

Catch "Soul In The Horn” for Black History Month, on 2/21 -- NO COVER, featuring residents DJ Natasha Diggs + host/curator DProsper, going down @Gran Torino in Williamsburg.

You may not have heard of him, but if trippin’ in an organic, grassfed n’ psychedelic way is your thing, come hear this indie, multi-instrumentalist, Michael Nau hum, strum n’ play the drum drum. Tour dates supporting his latest LP, Less Ready To Go all thru Feb, in your hood!

As the NFL season comes to a close, what’s one to do on Sunday’s right? Well, after 3yrs on hiatus, curator n’ homie Chris Tucci restarts his Sunday night ‘music series’ @Ace Hotel (in NYC) on Jan. 19, RSVP FREE.

Based in Buenos Aires, Argentina, artists Leo Chiachio & Daniel Giannone work n’ live together as partners. Both trained as painters, they use textiles as their painterly medium to create embroidery and mosaics, often utilizing social practice. Don’t miss their exhibition opening this Fri, Jan 24 from 6-9p @Lux Art Institute.

No, it’s not Halloween props -- Haitian-American artist, Marc Baptiste’s “Rara!” exhibit @MOCADA in BK shows ‘til March 8, 2020.

OPENING & ARTIST RECEPTION: Waves by Shantell Martin. feat. Brett King as ‘DJ JAZZHead’ Sat, Jan. 25 from 5-8p. ON VIEW 1/25 - 2/22. @BAND OF VICES.

The Annie O Music Series Presents: Niia creates an unspoken sexy, the one everyone knows but doesn’t tell. This should be a good one, esp for a Monday -- Jan. 27, from 7-9p @The Standard, East Village. RSVP, n’ see ya at The Penthouse.

Bet ya don’t know her, but would wanna? Rina Sawayama has a single, “Comme des Garcons (Like the Boys)” that pushes her on tour, soon. Don’t worry, thank me later.

Slow down di pace, likkle woman, ya movin’ too fast fi me...catch this wild one, Tove Lo on her 'Sunshine Kitty’ Tour, home-wrecking your neighborhood soon, see below.

NORTH AMERICAN TOUR: 02/03 – Marathon Music Works – Nashville, TN* 02/05 – Tabernacle – Atlanta, GA* 02/06 – The Ritz – Raleigh, NC* 02/07 – The Fillmore – Silver Spring, MD* 02/09 – The Fillmore – Philadelphia, PA* 02/10 – House of Blues – Boston, MA* 02/12 – Brooklyn Steel – Brooklyn, NY* - SOLD OUT 02/13 – Brooklyn Steel – Brooklyn, NY* - SOLD OUT 02/15 – MTELUS – Montreal, QC* - NEW VENUE 02/16 – Queen Elizabeth Theatre – Toronto, ON* 02/18 – St. Andrew’s Hall – Detroit, MI* 02/19 – Riviera Theatre – Chicago, IL* 02/20 – Palace Theatre – St. Paul, MN* 02/23 – Vogue Theatre – Vancouver, BC* - SOLD OUT 02/24 – Showbox SODO – Seattle, WA* - SOLD OUT 02/25 – Roseland Theater – Portland, OR* 02/27 – The Masonic – San Francisco, CA^ 02/28 – Hollywood Palladium – Los Angeles, CA^ 05/17 – Hangout Music Festival – Gulf Shores, AL * w/ ALMA ^ w/ ALMA & BROODS

After my 1st experience seeing her -- for a DJ-set, in a sweatbox on LA’s westside, almost a decade ago, she’s STILL as fresh as ever. Catch the TokiMonsta @Elsewhere, on May 1 -- in BK.

Yet another festival to add to your list, Boiler Room Festival 2020: Johannesburg, is amongst the newest. So if you’ve experienced the ongoing annual ones, let us know how this lines up!

This year’s Ultra Music Festival will return to its longtime home at Bayfront Park March 20 - 22, 2020, with a power pack of talent from across the electronic music spectrum. Too many to mention, be careful you get electrocuted when U peep the line-up here! So, catch the sun (& not to be missed promo-video below)!

The Defected Ibiza Festival (May 14-18) kicks off during Spring, n’ it’ll honestly and obviously, not disappoint. Prices start at about $400, for tix -- not cheap. Getting there? Even not cheaper.

[jichew]

college!hyunsuk au♡part two

a/n: the long awaited part two is here!! thank you all again for the love on part one :((( idk how to make links so you if you haven’t read that, just go through my ygtb imagine tag to find that. I thought this was much needed considering all the hate suk is getting lately :/ feel free to leave any questions/asks/comments in my inbox! mwah ♡ 

so it’s been a while since the night of the party

first things first, mina and gon are a couple nowヽ(*＾ω＾*)ﾉ

you really never thought you could see any of your friends in a romantic relationship but these two go so well together uwu

they’re kind of like the resident mom and dad couple

and because of that, your two friend groups have officially been adopted by them!!

and at first you were lowkey scared of his friends ,,, esp seunghun

but when you found out he’s actually just a puppy in a buff man’s body , shit got LIT

idk what i meant by lit, it just seemed to fit

anyway

so you guys basically hang out every day, usually congregating at the boy’s place bc they’re sophomores and have their own apartment

and u and hyunsuk are basically besties now

now,,, you can’t deny you were very attracted to him before

lol don’t tell anyone but u still kinda are(๑>◡<๑)

but you just assumed it was surface level and decided he was better as a best friend anyway

so basically you guys found out you share a bunch of the same classes

and now you guys walk to all ur classes together!!!

and suk brings u iced coffee in the morning

and walks you back to your dorm at night

and sometimes you guys hold hands

╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

you’re also his calculus tutor now

and in return he buys you food!!

usually that would be a pretty good tradeoff but tutoring hyunsuk is so,,,hard

“so can you complete this problem using integration by parts?”

“if you give me a kiss on the cheek, yes”

(O_O)

this man is really after your heart isn’t he

hyunsuk flirting with you is kind of a common occurence

“fuck you suk”

“fuck me yourself you coward”

(´⊙ω⊙`)

anyway,,,,,

usually it’s just harmless pickup lines

but sometimes,,,, you’ll be doing homework or listening to lecture, and he’ll just stare at you

“what r u looking at”

“how pretty you look today”

HOW DARE HE

＼＼\٩(๑`^´๑)۶//／／

and you can’t help how your heart flutters when that happens

but also, you have to force yourself to snap out of it bc this is hyunsuk we’re talking about :///

he’s just so ,,, out of your league

not only that, but you were sure he had this flirty nature around everyone

and even if he did magically end up liking you, you didn’t want to risk losing him as a friend

(◞‸◟)

sad hours: activated

so it’s been a few weeks and the guys decided to throw a party before everyone left for thanksgiving break

obviously the whole gang™ is invited

tonight,,, you are NOT drinking

bc you are a responsible individual who has decided to be the designated driver for the night

＼＼\\٩( 'ω' )و //／／

but some other people have different plans

right as you guys walk in the door, your eyes are immediately drawn to hyunsuk

perhaps it’s because he looks so completely ethereal with the top few buttons of his dress shirt undone, smile glowing under the dim lights of the living room

or perhaps its because he’s taking shots like there’s no tomorrow

hhnnggggg

and your inner mom is just like

“HYUNSUK NO”

“HYUNSUK YES”

and then he downs his fifth shot of the night

so now you’re hyunsuk’s babysitter for the night

y/n, you really outdid yourself

so after maybe two hours of smacking solo cups out of suk’s hand and watching him try to wall twerk to eyes noes lips,,,

he’s FINALLY gotten tired

\( ˆoˆ )/

so now you guys are just chilling in the living room

most people have left so its just the og gang

and hyunsuk’s just laying on the sofa with his head in your lap

(^-^)

and normally you would find that cute, but you’re still kind of mad at him for getting so drunk

＼＼\٩(๑`^´๑)۶//／／

but you can’t help yourself from playing with his hair bc you’re whipped lol

anyway,,,you’re kind of zoned out of the conversation and you’re pretty sure hyunsuk is falling asleep

until you feel his hand grab yours while it’s still in his hair

which kind of brings u back to reality

and u look down at suk

and he’s just looking up at you with his eyes all crinkly and a goofy smile on his face

and he’s just like

“y/n you’re so pretty” (´∀｀)

and you’re kinda like (^.^) but also ur like

“lol suk ur drunk”

and then he’s like

“NO”

and suddenly he’s sitting up and hugging you super tight, his face buried into your chest

at first your like (o_o)

because this is hyunsuk and his face is literally in your boobs hhngg

finally you snap out of it and you’re like

“THATS IT, IM TAKING YOU TO BED”

and suddenly everyone’s just looking at you two like

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

and you’re like

(・・?)

and you realize hyunsuk still has his face in your boobs

and suddenly he properly sits up

and brings his face really close to yours

and you’re just frozen like (°_°)

but you can’t help but notice how soft his lips look right now

and the way he’s staring at you, you just know he knows the effect he has on you

and you’re wondering how socially acceptable it would be if you just closed the distance with your lips

and you suddenly realize how frantically your heart is beating

“you want to take me to bed?” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

this HOE

FINALLY u snap out of it

“t-that’s not what i meanthhbbdjnj”

and you’re just stumbling over ur words

and suk has that drunk dopey smile on his face again

and everyone’s still looking at u two like ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

and you just take his hand and drag his short ass up the stairs and make him lay in his bed

“i love a woman who’s domineering in the bedroom” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

“shut the FUCK up” (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾

but once suk is finally tucked in his bed

he calms down

and as ur about to leave

he grabs ur wrist quickly

and u weren’t expecting it so you kind of stumble on to him

and you guys are really close in proximity again

and he whispers in a soft voice

“y/n, you know i like you right?”

you can’t lie that your heart stutters for a second

but you smell the alcohol in his breath

so you heave a sigh

and gently kiss his forehead

“sweet dreams hyunsuk”

and you leave the room

uhhh so like fast forward two days to the monday after the party

you,,,, have kinda been ignoring everyone

ESPECIALLY hyunsuk

you’re just so

hnbbggggghhhhhdhhdhbdh

＼＼\٩(๑`^´๑)۶//／／

so here’s the thing

you like hyunsuk

you KNOW you like hyunsuk

you’ve basically admitted it to yourself that your head over heels for him

and you KNOW he doesn’t feel the same for you

but the way he acted with at the party the other day made you think different

and you’re so CONFLICTED

i mean he was drunk????

if he actually liked you, wouldn’t he act that way when he WASN’T drunk?

and it just makes you sad more than anything

so you stay in your dorm all day

and you ignore suk’s calls

because he’s been calling you since the next morning

but you can’t bring yourself to hear his voice, let alone TALK to him

and you know there’s no way he can get to you bc you’re in your dorm all day

until you hear a knock on your door

and you look through the peephole and see mina

and you’re debating opening the door or not bc you really look and feel a mess and you’re just sad and embarrassed

“I KNOW YOU’RE THERE OPEN THE DOOR OR I’ll KICK IT DOWN MYSELF”

and you lowkey believe her

so you open the door

and you look at her

and she looks at you

and then you just start SOBBING

as if you weren’t already a mess, you’re even MORE of a mess now

so mina has closed the door and guided you to your bed

and she’s just letting you cry, patting your back and whispering comforting words

and when you finally calm down

you look up at her, tear tracks marking your cheeks, your nose red and runny

“mina, i really like him” (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

“i know”

...and you’re sobbing again

and then when you calm down again you’re like

“i don’t even know why i like him!! like sure he’s good looking and sure he has great fashion sense and sure he’s nice and cares about me and takes care of me and ...”

...surprise! you’re sobbing again

and mina just lets it happen

she knows you’re going through it

and when you’re finally out of tears

she looks at you and she’s like

“it’s ok to like him. it’s ok to like a guy. so what if he may not like you back? not that that’s true, but you never know until you try! and if he doesn’t, so what? you know your worth! and you are worth so much! don’t let a guy stop you from living your life, because you are so much more than that.”

mina for president 2020

and you look up at her

(´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

you’re so lucky to have her as a friend hhnng

so you’re feeling better now

and you skipped your classes on monday, because you were still getting it together

and you didn’t have any classes with suk on tuesday

and you think he knows you just need your space

bc he’s stopped calling you

but he’s still texting you

and you may have checked them and you may have squealed bc he called you babe

anyway

it’s wednesday

you know what that means

it has come full circle... the dreaded 9 am chem lecture

so you leave your dorm extra early

because you know you need the time

and you get to your class at 8:50

and right as you’re about to enter the building, you feel a hand grab your wrist

and by now, you know who it is

so you let him lead you a little away from the building where no one was

and he finally turns around and looks at you

and you can’t find it in yourself to look him in the eye

so you just look down at his hand that is still holding onto yours

and you gently pry his fingers from around your wrist

and you let your arms rest at your sides

“y/n....why have you been ignoring me”

you already feel tears coming on

but you bring your hands together in front of you, still staring at the ground

“it was only three days” you mumble

and he’s quiet for a sec

“i missed you”

lol ur rlly whipped and you know it

you finally look up at him

and he just has the most devastated look on his face

and you can’t tell if it’s the glare from the sun, but his eyes look watery

and he his lips are pouted

and he just looks like a kicked puppy

and everything in you is just SCREAMING to hug him and apologize and tell him everything will be ok

but,,,,you have to do this ... for yourself and mina ＼＼\٩(๑`^´๑)۶//／／

so you take a deep breath and look him in the eye

it takes a while for you to formulate words but

“why do you always flirt with me like that?”

“wha-“

“when you know i like you, why would you play with my feelings like that? i thought you had some respect for me, but it’s so degrading when you lead me on just to reject me later! this isn’t some game suk...”

you finally take some time to breathe and take a look at him

and his face is just blank

and his mouth is kind of open

and he’s staring at you ~like that~

and you’re about to snap at him again

but then he opens his mouth to say something

“...you like me?”

you’re kinda confused

“obviously, you know this already???”

he just stares at you for a little longer

and he kind of looks like he’s about to cry again

“...no i didn’t”

uhhh huh

now you’re the one who’s speechless

he takes a little step closer to you

your heart is starting to beat really fast again

“you know i only every flirt with you right....and it’s not because i think it’s funny, well i mean it is kinda funny -“

you: ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

suk: ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ

“anyway.... i only ever flirt with you... because i like you too”

he kind of whispered the last part

but you heard it

and you’re looking at the ground but you can’t help the smile growing on your face

so you just close the gap and hug him

and he’s kind of unresponsive at first

but he lets his arms wrap around your waist and pull you closer to him, his head falling into your hair

and you can’t see his face but you know he’s smiling bc u are too

you lean back a bit to look at him

and you notice the way his eyes keep flickering between your eyes and lips

and as much as you would love to kiss his pouty lips, you have to put ur foot down

“NOT IN THIS HOUSEHOLD WE ARE LATE FOR CHEM LECTURE”

and that’s the beginning of a beautiful relationship

･:*+.\(( °ω° ))/.:+

[denitr-ia]

( update. )

||: aight about these changes that’ll be mostly effective immediate lets start with the important one, current classes Deni is taking. some have been dropped and replaced by new ones which means this hopefully opens new plot opportunities with at least few of you, and some will not be happening now ( wont be affecting anyone? here tbh as those muses have all dropped )-- I am open for past plots with the dropped courses though if ya wanna, js ;> or someone approaching him to ask why he dropped any particular one.  SO

continued

Beginner’s magic

English

3D art

dropped

Smithing & armour maintenance *

Sociology

Swimming & diving **

new courses

Potions for beginners ( he’s definitely up to no good here... )

Archery

Drawing & Painting *

Modern Dance **

* smithing & armour maintenance he only ever picked cause it was something familiar in a new environment, comfort taken in already having knowledge of this one thing at least and being able to absorb more in as well-- which lead to him realizing it’s definitely not what he wants to actually do when trying to plan his future. this leads to him picking up drawing class bc that is also something that he’s already familiar with, to a lesser extent and kept as a hobby so far ( beside using it as another tool for visioning his smithing projects ) but he wants to try if there’s any spark there to go deeper into the arts.

** long story short he used to live with these guys back in Seoul before coming to Vighulir of which two were dancers and one thing led to another Deni spent a lot of time hanging at their dance studio and eventually that and a sum of many things led to him accepting jobs as a stripper. He might argue it’s for semi-professional self improvement but reason lies somewhere in between that and why he took swimming & diving classes-- bc it seemed like easy fun and exercise and allowed him access to the pools. also it certainly was a plus to see classmates in.. less clothes. yep. he’s that guy.

anyhooo I still don’t see him joining any clubs -- esp with this line up, nothing against it but not his scene uwu *nudges yall* bringing to life a new one or two would be fun ey? ofc with admin’s approval. slips a notion about deni and @kimhyolyn-ia orchestrating a kink club somewhere there

that out of the way the rest of this is gonna be more of informative pointers what’s happened recently in his life and the people who affected that, or are doing so currently, and also a small list about.. well, things to maybe take into consideration with interactions and also a reminder to the rest beside all new and those old members who I maybe haven’t gotten to bother with this muse yet but you’d want me to ouo

lets talk a bit about his relations in IA verse and how your muse is more than welcome to take note of them as it’s not really any weird rp magic, this is most in the knowledge of the population of the school, who care to observe others at least.

he’s got a new roomie again everyone should go poke him yes @yamaken-ia

with @rxelizabeth‘s departure he has more time for other people, but she will still be very much part of his canon and their friendship is still a thing and she will be mentioned here and there in threads. you can deal with that however you like, sometimes it’s ofc easier to pretend the muse was never there but at the very least if your muse has been aware of either of them it would make all the sense to note a missing presence, as he went a good 6 months basically attached to hip with her and I refuse to erase what was a huge part of his time in the academy

while he has people he considers sort of friends he will mostly be seen with @ravan-ia now, someone he considers one of his closest friends and may or may not latch onto now that.. rest have left.

it’s no secret him and @kimhyolyn-ia are banging and they own zero subtlety in public bc who needs that lmao feel free to mention that if you want I assure neither of us or the muses care

his schedule wont change much, or the locations deni generally hangs out in but a short summary to make everything easier for yall in regards of plotting and where to catch him at what times ( this isn’t fixed by any means, but more to give direction of his typical week, excluding visits to certain other parts of the academy grounds or trips to Vighulir )

Beside taking forever and after to get ready in the mornings, from waking up to the end of the school day not a whole lot of deviation can be made, tho he might skip sometimes, rarely, it happens. class projects are always a fun thing to thread winkwink.

lunch however is spend at wherever he feels the need to go, and with whoever happens to be closest so he can bother them.

library is a place he does spent some amount of time, either right after school to deal with homework or for research, or the last few hours of the day which usually are spent less looking for books than people.

randomly goes to the academy roof

the common room/roof garden in Sol Solis dorm is a location he absolutely still goes to ( used to hang there with Eliza ) even by himself or dragging someone else along. or trying to be sneaky during free nights to smoke weed there. or get drunk. a favourite pastime >_>

Ignis dorm is another he frequently spends not only hours of a day but some nights in as well, thanks to Ren’s hospitality ( as in Deni just pretends it’s half his room now cause damn have you seen that shit so much nicer that what he was left with )

do I even need to mention Luna dorm for obvious reasons. It’s not the bar. Though he’s an occasional fan of it yes.

This said he honestly doesn’t spend much any time at all at his own room in Aqua dorm, beside other reasons he’s simply always elsewhere with someone, or if he does happen to be present he’s very rarely alone.

This leads to; Deni works at the casino in Pidvone Misto during weeknights, monday--thursday but not always every night. Which means he is usually unavailable from late evening to 3am ish at what time you may catch him returning to the dorm. usually sober but, it’s not too uncommon to witness the opposite either

free nights are a roll of a dice but if he’s not catching up on sleep like he probably really should be, or got nothing else going on best believe he’s out there clubbing and drinking all that hard earned money into oblivion

about 90% of weekends he spends in Seoul, working at one of two clubs he gets assigned between. That covers his nights. days however are generally free beside the side job he’s got. Namely dealing and doing drug runs. Coincidentally for the same people who own the nightclubs. That’s a thing yes. though someone’s stirring their spoon in this mess soon stay tuned ;>

probably forgot something but this covers the essentials already so.

extra special section!

with the arrival of another two-seventy ( at last do you hear me crying tears of joy ) @kangjun-ia I do need to mention this lil thing about Deni still keeping it a tightly guarded secret what he actually is. As it stands, no one who absolutely should know ( to his knowledge ) is aware of this and he’d prefer to keep it that way. With the exception of our late-dropped Seline & Hongbin. and other exceptions to this rule being if your muse is some type of necromancer/exorcist OR is an ancient fart and you think they would be able to tell, then ya go ahead and make it so! I’m fine with it as well if your muse has been in contact with another one of their kind in the past and would be able to pick on that particular aura.

now, development will happen of course and beside having my own plans for this entire matter I’m always down for exploring that side of him but it’s a slow burn and I’m totally fine with that tbh. if Jun is going about telling people it would make sense that your muse starts seeing/sensing the connection as, well, we do have plotted they will be acquainted so ouo put my muse in an uncomfortable spot I dare you.

K I’M DONE THANK YOU CONTINUE ON YOUR DAY-- OR COME PLOT WITH ME EITHER WAY HAVE A LOVELY DAY~  ♥

[lectergrahams]

this weekend was so good friday night was a tru blessing and i need to just keep up this kind of energy. rlly like for the most part in october my energy was on the upward?? september was hard, the beginning of october had good days but was still having a lot of lows. it was like the monday after huff fest (which was 2 weeks ago? i think) was the day i felt a shift, like felt like i was breaking out of a cycle and that was good. since that day i’ve been doing a tapping affirmation routine thing every night before bed (friday was the first time i’ve missed doing it actually) and i think that has been helping. i feel like i’ve just been having more faith in the universe/god/myself??? and the halloween energy just felt really good and pure. i’ve been paying attention to synchronization, bc i think it’s the easiest universal sign to notice?? like anything else, i usually am like nah not a sign just a thing that happened. but that’s like….hard to not notice when you’re paying attention?? so i had 2 small ones at the beginning of the week. then wednesday for some reason for really sad and self conscious and lost belief again, felt a little better thursday, noticed the biggest sync yet thursday (diana, one that is still ongoing apparently). then friday i was rlly ready to go to therapy bc i felt like i needed it, then my session got cancelled which never happens?? so i was rlly sad all day about the same old stuff. my horoscope said something about like…you may feel sad rn, let yourself be sad for a while, then recognize it and let it go and enjoy the night (more or less). so i just tried to do that, allow and acknowledge the feeling and just let it pass. in the afternoon, i wanted to just give up and do nothing that night, but i’d been looking forward to the party friday night for weeks. side note, i think i actually manifested something too. since i got invited to that party, i kept low key fantasizing about talking to hector and leaving early to hook up with him. i was pretty skeptical and wasn’t actually planning on it happening (like not making plans for how to make it happen or expecting anything, just a detached fantasy that was nice to imagine). i didn’t rlly do anything to prepare for it just in case. so then by the evening, i was excited for it again and had fun getting ready and was lit to be there. also it was the full moon so i’m sure that played into it. he and i talked, and i didn’t say anything about us, so i kinda thought my opportunity was lost (bc i’m always the one that initiates things with guys i’m into). i just kept going around having a good time with everyone there, and later in the night, he texted me and invited me to come over, and we had really good sex. now i have that post-sex perspective change about my singleness where i’m like being single is fun, i don’t need a serious relationship, i’m just chilling and focusing on myself! which the past two times has faded a few weeks later and i’ve felt bad again for a lot of reasons. this time, i just really wanna keep that energy going. esp since i’ve been having so much paranoia over the fact that both the guys i’d hooked up with only wanted to do it once despite acting like they wanted me again, so i’ve been really feeling bad about myself when i think about it?? but this made me finally feel like it’s not me, it’s them too. like he’s been busy, went back to school in a different city, and wanted me again. so yknow. also another note about manifesting, i made that post here about how i wanted to have sex sometime soon, and it happened like a week later; likewise like a week or two before i met/hooked up with him the first time, i’d posted the same kinda thing on my nsfw blog. just a thought 🤔 needless tho, i’m not gonna let this time become another time where i get reliant on the guy to be around more and get my hopes up and unintentionally put my upward stride all on them. i’m just keeping up this vibration. i feel like the last two weeks have actually kinda started proving the law of attraction to me?? like idk until now i don’t think i’ve felt like i’d rlly experienced it yet. so i’m hoping this is the first thing of many. and since i saw another diana sign yesterday, i think that means the manifestation doesn’t end with friday night