#it was important somehow that the information was coming from sharing stories in person

[spelldealer]

i had an insane dream last night…

[lukolabrainrot]

Calm theory anon here 🩷

Like my fav Lukolabrainrot I'm tooo not worried in the least by anything we have seen. When you're in love with someone you wanna show them off you wanna shout to the rooftops that you're with that person. You would talk about them nonstop. They would be in conversations that you have with other people. It's hard to keep it in when you truly love someone. That's a natural reaction to being in love with someone. The narratives that we see online Isn't always based on facts. It's based on peoples opinions. The facts are when you go on Luke or Nicola page who do you see besides themselves? On Nicola page you see Luke on Luke's page you see Nicola. You don't hide someone you love. You would talk about them in interviews randomly. You would post cute things they do. And you would definitely acknowledge they exist. Liking photo is a bare minimum that you do for people who are good friends. Hate is always going to come no one can stop it. If anything the more silent a star remains the more intense the hate gets. Again what are the facts? Nic post Luke and Luke post Nicola. Luke talked about Nic at jimmy Fallon and Nic talked Luke in time magazine. That my dears is the biggest signs of all. Those signs are what matter. One last thing I want to share my first lesson I learned in college. The Internet is a phenomenal tool for information. But you have to understand that anybody can put anything online. And people can manipulate photos. Photos can be taken out of context. My professors used to say if you're quoting something that you've seen online, you have to make sure that the source is a legitimate source. The source is credible. You can't site something as fact when the source isn't credible. Gossip sites. Aren't incredible source. In this situation the source would be Luke or Nic. The rest of the information isn't credible. So listen to what they're saying.

I know we are all having a lot of feelings about everything with JD and A this week. I've sat on everything this week and this is what I will say (and know that my feelings have not changed this week regarding Lukola). And these are just my thoughts and SPECULATION (but I feel pretty confident with them):

We don't know these people. They don't owe us anything. It is alright to feel frustrated (I know I have recently), but it is also important to use our critical thinking skills when consuming information that isn't coming DIRECTLY from L OR N.

We got an AMAZING WT from L/N, where a lot of us just fell in love with them and their connection. However, these are both grown adults in their 30s. IF they are with other people and there is NOTHING personal going on with L/N that they were/are trying to keep private, we wouldn't be seeing all these games. L and or N would have officially shut down rumors and come out with their respective partners at some point before now. They haven't. And therefore there is a reason everything has looked so weird since papgate...

And I believe one of the largest reasons is because of NDAs that are at play with A. Which leads us to her Spain carousel from today. Y'all, she has been sitting on these for a while. There is ZERO way for us to confirm when she was here, or if she was even there with L. Yes, that is probably the same balcony from the one he shared from his stories. Not denying that. But if she was REALLY with him as his "girlfriend" on this trip, you damn well know she would have shown that somehow. He's NOWHERE to be seen. Just like A was NOWHERE to be seen in his post or stories about the trip. She plays games and likes to stir the pot. THIS IS NOT NEW. We will most likely never be able to know who exactly was with L on this Spain trip and when he was there... But girlie pop has been sitting on these pics for a while, 100%. Why? Because I am almost certain this is her last direct tie to L, she saw that there was a lot of attention on N rn because of the JD stuff, and this was her bomb. I think L's NDA SM obligations are coming to an end this month, and she was trying to go out with a bang for the engagement (I don't think that is exactly what it did, but I am sure that was her goal). But if you still think L/A are super happy and serious from everything you've observed since papgate, then I don't know what to tell you. But NONE of this is a good indicator of a happy and healthy relationship when it comes to L/A.

Lastly, remember the rings everyone before you spiral. The Claddagh ring (which has now moved to N's left hand) is something she ordered in early MAYYYY. And she has been publicly wearing since early JUNE. So... for MONTHS. And we can argue all we want about that ring, but that ring is about her relationship with L. Period. And y'all, she grew up in the town where these rings ORIGINATED FROM. I highly doubt she skirts all tradition when it comes to these rings, and likely takes the orientation of them pretty seriously. Therefore, it appears that her and L are in a very serious and committed relationship. So, let's all take a deep breath, remember the rings, and let's carry on.

[calicough]

leave your heart alone until it beats for me – hazel callahan

— life is filled with uncertainties, with you being hazel's biggest.

pining. hazel is whipped but doesn't want to do anything about it.

hazel was aware about your existence even before the fight club started. you were the person who usually sits at the third row in every class that you both share. not too far from the board that every important information taught by the teacher would be drowned out by the noises of your classmates, but not too close to the board either that you'd need to pretend to be interested in the teacher's life story. you were the person that she once caught napping on the bleachers that one time she decided to watch the cheerleaders' train, purely out of boredom because she doesn't want to go home yet. you were the person who borrowed one of her pens but never returned because as soon as the class ended, you were already out the door. but she's not complaining because she has a lot of pens (that was her favorite pen and she is too shy to ask for it back).

when you entered through the gymnasium doors, hazel was surprised. she did not expect you to join the fight club because... well... you're you. you are the living embodiment of a celestial being in her eyes. a doll who came to life and is somehow in rockbridge falls. to her, you were the most beautiful girl to ever walk in the hallways of this hellhole. every time she saw you leaning by your locker chatting with isabel and brittany, you were somehow bathed in sunlight even though there was little to no natural light entering the school's halls. to her, your radiating beauty is so strong that the bathroom stall that you were in was somehow illuminating (your phone's flashlight was accidentally turned on that time). she didn't want to see your face painted in black and blue, and she definitely didn't want to be the one causing those nasty bruises.

she, however, did paint your face black and blue. her face was also in the same state. "twinsies!" you exclaimed with a huge grin on your swollen face and blood dripping down your nose, which hazel found extremely endearing. unbeknownst to her, the rest of the fight club took notice of this and made it their life's mission to pair you up in everything. from training to studying to even going to the bathroom. because of this, the two of you became close. pj and brittany had an ongoing bet on who will confess first: pj is betting on hazel while brittany is betting on you. but days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months and eventually, the both of them forgot about their bet.

you and hazel are good friends at this point but she knows deep down that she just doesn't want to be friends with you. she wants to be more. she wants you to look at her like how she looks at you. she wants you to notice the quick longing glances that she would take whenever you are together and the way her hand would lightly graze yours whenever you're walking beside each other. she wants you to return her pen and jokingly steal it from her because that's what girlfriends do. she had contemplated on confessing the feelings that she harbors for you but every time she would find herself typing the words she had always wanted to say, she would delete and forget about her phone until it rings again.

life is filled with uncertainties, but to hazel, you are her biggest uncertainty. she doesn't want to get rid of her friendship with yours. heck, she's not even sure if you like her the same way. do you even like her? are you just being nice to her? is she even worth your time? thoughts like these plague her mind every time she's in bed. she doesn't want to force you to like her, no. that's the last thing that she wants. she wants you to like her for who she is and to fall for her naturally.

until that time comes, hazel will wait for you until your heart beats for her.

waaa ^^ this is my first entry on this account. thank you for reading and i hope you guys enjoyed it! feedback is always appreciated :]

[ma4chestier]

hey, remember when I thought literally no one was talking about umemiya's backstory's backstory?? yeah, well this guy @loganelfreeces just opened my eyes with the most insane analysis I've ever seen, bc these characters appear in less than two chapters and I'm not really the kind to overanalyze stuff but this made me think more than Im used to and I'm grateful for it.

seriously, if you havent read their post please go, its amazing!! what I'm about to say its practically just a response to what they were saying so I recommend reading it either wya

first off i want to start saying that i cant shake the feeling that umemiya and shitara share the same personality in the sense that they act all friendly and goofy to protect others from unnecessary trouble, like if we're talking about how umemiya acts i can tell he somehow copied or adapted himself to shitara's sense of responsability when it comes to emotional support

then there's that conversation shitara has with the other caretaker about the old furin, and i did get the feeling that shitara was talking about himself in some way, tho i wasnt sure if he had been a furin student, but just some acquaintance to the people there. him being a former student makes sense given that he knows a lot about furin insights and takes responsability on what they do around town

i can see shitara playing a major role in the future, but since the last time qe saw him was when umemiya was 14 years old, i hardly think we will see him again, OR as you pointed out, when umemiya graduates.

if im not wrong, it has been aprox five months (?) sicne sakura entered furin, so i think we're close to that

the one person i really dont think will appear again is umemiya's savior. why? because he couldn't see his face, it wasnt shown, we didnt got a name, not even a nickname, and as you were saying, he's an adult probably out of town that will never appear again

it will be one hell of a twist if the savior happens to be related to someone else, like being suo's martial artist brother or sakura's acquaintance, but i hardly believe he will appear again. yes he was influential in the story, and yes he shared with us some very important information about the old furin, but that was his role at the moment, and the story was going on about umemiya and shitara.

so, yes, shitara will probably appear again in some important scene, and no, the savior will probably not appear ever again

and IF we're talking about a third party, the other guy shitara and the savior mentioned, I hardly believe they will give us more insight on this. there's still a high chance this will get more focus in the series as the events starts to unfold in something more large. i think, if anything, nirei can crack the code of this mysterious saviors and the old furin secrets, I believe in my notebook guy!! (tho I really like how you connected the "serious/calm and goofy/loud" duo, it makes total sense)

OTHER THING THAT I REALIZED I THOUGHT YOUVE POINTED OUT BUT TURNS OUT I JUST IMAGIEND was that shitara and the other girl mention that because of all the gangs messing up the town the police had turned a blind eye to all these and left the town without doing their proper job, so that lefts us with no reliable adults available to put a stop to those crimes. there's no teachers in furin even tho its a school. the townsfolk rely on the furin boys. there's hardly any picture of parents anywhere, not even in conversations. shitara is the first adult to be relied on by someone in the entire series, and i think that alone says a lot about the guy and the future of the series in general.

I BELEIVE IN NII-SENSEI TO GIVE US AN ASNWER TO ALL THESE, THEY'RE AMAZING ON WHAT THEIR DOING AND I CANT WAIT HOW ALL THESE TURNS OUT!!

aAaaAaA im done.

[sullina]

One thing that i personally find just so refreshing in dungeon meshi is the fact that Laios' special interest in monsters and his detailed knowledge of them is NOT reduced to a punchline of "this weird character deriving joy of their special interest and wanting to share in that joy is so cringe and funny, like, read the room weirdo lol" like how you would see in a disney channel show (the one side character from wizards of waverly place somehow comes to mind. The one who really liked food themed clothing and often made that stuff herself. It's an incredible talent, but the show only ever called her weird and cringe and the fact that she seemed to be unaware that she was weird was only ever a punchline for the audience to laugh at)

But no, Laios takes a great interest in monsters, and instead of a punchline, his knowledge is treated as a vital part of the teams arsenal.

In any other anime or show, Laios would be the weird punchline side character whose sole purpose would be to make the cool main characters look cooler, and anytime he would propose a plan, he wouldn't even get to finish, because the only plan the Cool Main Cast is interest in is "hit it until it dies". And the times when that plan fails, it would be weird side character who would tell them the weak spot of whatever monster they're fighting, they win by exploiting that weak spot, and the character who GAVE that vital information is never acknowledged in that victory.

But not in dungeon meshi, and i just. I'm so glad about that, because yeah, information and knowledge actually IS vitally important! You can't win against things like monsters with violence alone, because 9/10 times, they'll have you beat in the brute strength department!

At several parts of the story, Laios' knowledge saves the team, the earliest example i can think of being the kelpie scene, with Laios being the first and only one to realize that the kelpie was gonna drag Senshi underwater. It's also the same scene where it's shown that while Laios loves monsters, he is also fully aware, perhaps even more so than most, that monsters are still dangerous.

[amnevitahwritesstuff]

The Pretty Woman AU no one asked for.

Fandom: A Court of Thorns and Roses

Pairing: Feyre/Rhysand

Rating: Explicit

Triggers: Prostitution, Older Man/Younger Woman

Chapters: 2, 3, 4, 5 (WIP)

AO3 Link

For @whatishowedyouinthedark because she wondered when we were going to get a Pretty Woman AU. Well, my dear, that day is today.

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Chapter One

If I Got Me a Wealthy Man

Feyre tried not to let the dread and panic choke her as she walked down the street.

Everything had been fine until that text. The one from her landlord informing her that no, she could not extend her late payment any later, and yes, she would be facing eviction if she didn’t cough up the now three thousand dollars she owed for both this month’s and last month’s rent.

And, at any other time, this might’ve been doable. Difficult, but doable. Normally her sisters were there to help pay their fair share of the rent and cover for each other any time one of them was a little short. But now that Elain had moved out to live with her boyfriend, and Nesta had disappeared to lord knew where again, their little sister had suddenly found herself on the hook to cover everything herself.

And she was struggling.

She was already working two jobs and even then she was just barely getting by. Even if she managed to fit in a third job somehow and started today, by the time she received her first paycheck she would’ve already been booted onto the streets.

How did one even make that kind of money in a few days? Become a hit man? Did she need to become John Wick for a night? She briefly considered drug dealing…until she realized that she didn’t actually know any illegal drug suppliers. Which was, you know, probably important.

She ended up going with the next best (and illegal) thing.

Which was how she ended up here, on the street corner on the bad side of town, wearing the shortest, sluttiest thing she could find in Nesta’s closet. After all, how difficult could it be for a nineteen year old to find some horny old men to pay her for sex?

Rather difficult it turned out.

Three hours in and she was now beginning to regret her hasty decision. Three hours and she hadn’t seen a single man wander past and give her so much as a creepy stare. Instead, she’d had the local corner shop owner ask her four times in the last hour if she wanted to come inside.

“You look cold dear,” the woman insisted for the fifth time as she closed up shop for the night. Feyre suppressed a shiver as the early spring air gusted over her bare legs.

“I’m alright,” she said while trying not to let her teeth chatter. That probably would’ve been a dead giveaway that she was not, in fact, alright. God, why hadn’t she thought to bring a coat?

Because coats hide the goods, that infuriatingly rational part of her brain supplied.

Not that anyone besides Mrs. Nosy had seen the goods the entire time she’s been out here.

“It’s fine,” Feyre continued. “Really. I’m just waiting for a friend.”

This might’ve been convincing if it hadn’t been the exact same story she’d given this woman every time she’d asked. Said woman looked at her disapprovingly, but seemed to sense she wouldn’t be winning this battle and so left with a parting, “If you say so dear.”

Forty-five minutes later, Feyre wondered where she’d gone wrong in her life. If it hadn’t been apparent before that she was ill-dressed for the weather, then it certainly was now that the sun had set. It had to be near freezing.

And still she hadn’t seen hide or hair of a single horny man ready to throw money at her. She’d barely seen anyone out here really, save for passing cars and the odd homeless person muttering to themselves. God, had she picked the wrong day or something? Did she miss the memo? Was there a prostitute group chat she wasn’t a part of that told everyone which street corner was the busiest? Did prostitutes even have group chats?

These were the questions she was asking herself when he appeared.

“Excuse me, do you know the way to the Four Seasons?”

Feyre startled.

A man had joined her under the flickering street light. A man who was talking to her. And asking for directions.

A handsome man.

…Maybe even too handsome.

“Oh, umm…” she blinked at him stupidly.

“I’m sorry to ask, but I seem to be a bit lost. I swear I was downtown an hour ago but now I’m not really sure how I ended up here. I’d just call an Uber but unfortunately I left my phone at the hotel so…” He smiled at her sheepishly as if to say, ‘what can you do?’.

Feyre studied him thoughtfully. He was tall and impeccably dressed. He certainly looked like someone who could afford to stay at the Four Seasons so that part of his story was likely true.

Which also meant…the wheels started turning in her head.

“…And what’s that worth to you?”

It was cruel. Normally Feyre would’ve just walked the poor man to his hotel herself or offered for him to use her phone….but she was desperate. And from the looks of his shiny shoes and expensive peacoat…he could afford it.

The man looked at her then. Really looked at her, with her ill-fitting cheap dress and haphazard attempt at gaudy makeup…and something suddenly seemed to click in his brain.

“I see.” And he did. His entire demeanor had changed. Where once he had seen a young college student who could give him directions now he clearly saw her for what she truly was.

A whore.

Even if only for the night.

“Do you?” Feyre lowered her voice as she straightened her spine a little. Anything to make herself appear older. Sultry. Unconcerned. As if she weren’t about to be homeless in five fucking days.

“How much do you charge?”

The question caught her completely off guard when it absolutely shouldn’t have. This was exactly why she was here. And yet, when actually faced down with a living, breathing man ready to pay for her services she couldn’t think of a single fucking number. What did sex workers usually charge? It’s not like she knew a lot of prostitutes she could ask. And what if this was the only man she managed to snag in the next five days? She needed to get as much out of him as she could. She needed…she needed…

“Three-thousand dollars.”

As soon as the words were out of her mouth she desperately wanted to take them back. Was she fucking insane? Nobody was going to pay three-thousand dollars for her!

“Three-thousand,” the man repeated. His face was infuriatingly blank. Was he angry? Upset? Convinced this was all a joke?

“Yep,” Feyre confirmed, figuring she was already in too deep. Might as well commit.

After all, the worst thing he could say was no…and then she would have to go ask that nice homeless man who’d been circling the block for tips on how best to survive on the streets.

“Per?”

She blinked. “…Purr?”

Like…like a cat? Was that something he was into? Was he seriously asking if she would be willing to purr in his lap like a kitten for three grand? Because if so, the answer was definitely-

“Per hour? Per night? Per week?” The man clarified, face still blank.

“Oh…” She suddenly wished lightning would strike her dead right then and there. “Umm, per night?” It came off as a question even though she hadn’t meant it to.

“Three-thousand dollars for the entire night.”

Feyre was deeply annoyed by his ability to make his questions not sound like questions. As if question marks didn’t even exist in his vocabulary.

“That’s…what I said.”

Maybe she needed to revisit the drug dealing idea again. Surely that was easier than standing in front of this stranger and negotiating her worth like she’d never done it before. Which…she hadn’t. But still.   

He stared at her for a moment with those intense dark eyes of his. She couldn’t really tell under the flickering light, but she thought they looked almost…purple? Violet maybe? Which was stupid because neither of those were actually a real eye color.

“Tell you what,” the man said pulling his hands out of his pockets. In his right he held a leather wallet that looked as if it were brand new. He plucked several bills out and held them out to her. Her heart stuttered when she saw the number 100 on each of them. “I’m afraid I don’t have three thousand dollars on me at the moment, but I do back at my hotel. I’ll give you five-hundred now if you agree to take me there and the rest when we get back to my rooms. Do we have a deal?”

Feyre felt faint.

She hadn’t actually believed he’d give her three-thousand dollars! That was just…a Hail Mary! A dumb, impulsive shout into the void!

“Just to get you back to your hotel?” She asked, eyeing the bills greedily.

“Just to get me back to my hotel,” he confirmed.

She took the money.

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As they made their way downtown, Feyre thanked her past self for having the foresight to wear her ratty converse instead of squeezing her feet into Nesta’s too-small heels. Not exactly the sexiest shoes ever, but they were saving her from the blisters she likely would’ve had by now after walking the last six blocks so she wasn’t about to complain. And it wasn’t like men were going to be staring at her feet all that much anyway. Or, at least, that’s what she had assumed.

Because he was staring at them.

She’d caught her strange companion (Rhys, he had introduced himself as shortly after she’d snatched the money out of his hand) staring at her shoes at least three times now. If she were anywhere else, doing anything else she might’ve confronted him about it, but he had also just paid her five-hundred dollars and was planning to pay her another two and a half grand more once she got his ass back to his ritzy hotel so she was willing to bite her tongue.

“Are you sure you don’t want to borrow my coat?” He asked her for the second time in the last twenty minutes.

And even though she was freezing her tits off she was just stubborn enough to give him the same answer she had last time.

“I’m sure.”

He kept doing that. Offering her things. Asking her questions. Normal questions. Like how old she was and how long she’d lived here.

It was kind of freaking her out.

She had lied of course. She couldn’t exactly have some strange man knowing who she was or where she lived. This was only temporary after all. What would Nesta think if she knew her baby sister had dressed up like a hooker and propositioned a man on the street corner? What would Elain think? No, better none of this got back to them. Better she got her money from him as soon as she deposited him at his destination and then went home and forgot all about this hare-brained adventure of hers.

Thankfully they wouldn’t have to travel much further. The buildings had gone from old and neglected to shiny and new rather quickly. Once upon a time Feyre used to come here often to visit her father in his swanky office in the financial district, but those days had come to a very sudden close after the market crash. Now she was lucky to come here whenever her job at the local bistro needed extra help on the weekends.

She spied a passerbyer give her a judgmental look as if to illustrate just how much she no longer fit in here anymore. Or, you know, it was probably the skimpy dress she was wearing in freezing temperatures. Who could say really?

The entrance to the Four Seasons wasn’t all that difficult to find amongst the busy streets of downtown. Honestly, Feyre sort of wondered how on earth Rhys had managed to get lost when all he’d really done was walk in a straight line away from his hotel for about a mile. It almost felt a little unfair to be taking so much money from him over something he could’ve easily figured out himself but, then again, any man willing to throw three-thousand dollars away over something so minor probably deserved to get scammed.

The man in question stared up at the entrance and then back at her curiously, as if surprised she had actually kept her word and done what he had asked. Then, without a word, he opened the door and waltzed inside.

She stood there for a moment, not sure what she was supposed to do now. Did he expect her to follow him up to his room? Or did she wait outside and hope he returned with the money? Thankfully, he saved her from fretting for too long because she saw him reappear, holding the door open for her.

“Aren’t you coming?” He arched an eyebrow at her as if to say ‘well?’.

She supposed that was as good an invitation as any and followed him inside.

The lobby was enormous. That was her first thought. Her second thought was that she absolutely did not belong here. Everything looked so…expensive. And white. Spotlessly white. White walls. White marble floors. White furniture and decor. White, white, white. Rhys, however, seemed completely unfazed by all the luxury around him and headed straight for the gold elevator, Feyre scrambled after him and desperately hoping her grubby shoes weren’t leaving dirty shoe prints on the pristine floor (they were).

They were quiet on the ride up and she watched the number slowly rise and rise and rise the higher they went. Just how far up was his room? When she saw the number go past forty her mind really started to boggle. What on earth was past the fortieth floor?

The fucking Presidential Suite, it turned out.

No wonder he was willing to throw thousands of dollars around for some directions. This place had to cost at least three times that just for a single night!

Rhys, oblivious to her inner turmoil over his clearly considerable wealth, wandered in almost aimlessly, dropping his coat on the back of a chair and loosening his tie as if returning home after a long day at work.

“Make yourself comfortable. Give me a moment and I’ll grab the rest of your money.”

Your money. As if it were already hers and he was just returning it to her.

She just nodded dumbly, but he was already disappearing around the corner into what she assumed was the bedroom. She tried to do as he said and briefly sat down on the couch…only to shoot back up moments later, afraid to sully the spotless brocade with her…with her what? The miasma of poverty she carried with her?

“Here,” Rhys reappeared carrying a large stack of crisp hundred dollar bills and handed them to her without fanfare. “That should be twenty-five hundred but feel free to double check. I wouldn’t want to cheat you out of what you’re owed.”

He was right. She should count the money just to be safe. She needed it to keep the roof over her head after all.

She didn’t.

Because it suddenly occurred to her…she had the money now to pay this and last month’s rent…but what about next month’s rent? And the one after that? She still had to cover Elain’s portion of the rent now that she had moved out. And Nesta was still M.I.A. and thus unavailable to pay her half. So where did that leave Feyre? Stuck covering the entirety of their fifteen-hundred dollar rent bill all by herself for the foreseeable future, that’s what. She needed some sort of buffer to fall back on while she waited out the last few months on her rental agreement and Nesta figured her shit out.

She needed more money.

And, she thought as she looked up at the handsome man before her, it looked like she might just have someone willing to give it to her.

“Is that all you want?” She tried to sound sultry but Feyre had a feeling she sounded less like Jessica Rabbit and more like Velma from Scooby Doo. Awkward. And incredibly young.

Rhys gave her a strange look. It wasn’t turned off exactly, but it also wasn’t exactly turned on. He seemed…searching. Like he was trying to figure her out.

“Isn’t that all you want?” He asked, turning the question around on her.

“I could…do more,” she said clumsily. “For a price of course…”

He didn’t answer her, just hummed thoughtfully. She pressed forward, hoping he just needed more convincing.

“You could have me for the whole night this time. I can do whatever you like…”

“How old are you?”

The question caught her completely off guard. He had already asked this on their walk and she had already given him an answer. She’d told him that she was twenty-four but it was clear now that he hadn’t believed a word she’d said. And, looking up at his inflexible features, it was even more clear that this time he wanted a real answer. A truthful one.

Feyre glanced down nervously. Would he continue if he knew her real age? Her real name? Her real reason for being here? Or would he kick her to the curb?

She really, really needed the money.

“Nineteen.”

He nodded, as if this were what he’d been expecting.

“And is your real name Vivian?”

“…No.”

“And would you rather I called you Vivian?”

“Yes, please,” she whispered meekly.

“Why were you on that street corner Vivian?”

She hesitated. Did she tell him the truth? She’d already divulged more than she likely should have…but he was being strangely sweet to a random stray he’d found on the side of the road. So what was the harm in giving him at least a little more? Not all of it though. She wasn’t that stupid.

“I was going to be evicted and needed the money. I still need the money.”

“I see,” and just like before, he did. He wasn’t pitying exactly, but he had a look of understanding. “And do you want to have sex Vivian?”

The answer to that question should’ve been ‘no’. She absolutely should not have wanted to have sex with a much older man just so she could pay her rent. It was wrong. It was illegal.

And he was really hot.

And nice to her.

“Yes.”

Shockingly, he didn’t immediately turn her down. He just said, “Are you sure?”

“Will you be paying me?” This was, after all, why she was here. Even if she also selfishly wanted to know what he looked like without his clothes on. If she had to earn her paycheck on her back, at least it was underneath somebody who wasn’t a completele asshole and looked like he stepped out of a perfume commercial.

“If that’s what you want.”

“Then I’d rather earn my money, if you don’t mind.”

He just nodded.

And that was that.

• $ • $ • $ • $ • $ • $ • $ • $ • $ • $ • $ • $ •

They didn’t immediately jump into bed, as it turned out.

As she soon discovered, there were negotiations to be made. Prices to agree upon. And limits to discuss. Honestly it felt a lot like that Fifty Shades movie she had guiltily watched on her laptop and then told everyone she hadn’t seen.

“Is there anything you don’t want me to do?”

Truthfully, her sexual experience was rather limited so it was hard for her to answer that question. She’d only ever had sex with two people a handful of times before deciding that maybe she just wasn’t that into it. But he was also paying to use her body so it really didn’t matter what she was into. Just what she absolutely wouldn’t be able to stomach.

“Just…no kissing.”

In hindsight, it seemed like a stupid rule but it felt right to her. Sex was sex. But kissing made it…real. Like feelings were involved.

He didn’t argue. Only gave her a curious look before moving on.

Finally, he handed her an even larger stack of bills than before.

Five-thousand dollars.

Between that and the money he had given her previously, she was officially eight-thousand dollars richer. It was enough to make anyone feel a little faint.

“So you just…have this kind of cash on hand?” Feyre blurted out, a little breathless.

It was still mind boggling to her that anyone would throw this sort of money around willy nilly, as if it weren’t life-changing. Because that’s what this was for her. It was a life preserver. He was saving her and he didn’t even seem to know it.

Rhys raised his eyebrows.

“Not always. Usually I just use credit cards.” She noticed he hadn’t actually answered her question but knew better than to push. He probably thought she was planning to rob him or something.

As if you aren’t already? Her brain screeched, still unable to process that anyone was willing to spend this kind of money just to get inside of her. If you asked her, she was worth like…a hundred bucks and maybe a pizza. Maybe. Not…eight-thousand fucking dollars. And for only the one night!

Feyre took the money and held it in her hands like a live grenade. It felt wrong to just stash this in her purse instead of immediately dashing to a bank or ATM to deposit it but she’d made an agreement and, damn it, she was going to stick to it.

“So…how do you wanna do this?”

By now, Rhys was lounging on the couch in the living area, watching her intently as if she were a fascinating creature and not a very broke and awkward teenager.

He patted his lap. “Come here.”

Whelp. In for a penny, in for a pound.

She sat on his knee and shifted clumsily, trying to find a more comfortable position, but Rhys fixed that quickly by pulling her against his chest so she could hear his heart beating against her ear.

“Can I touch you?” He asked, as if they hadn’t just spent the last forty-five minutes discussing exactly that.

“Of course.”

He could’ve touched her anywhere. Her breasts. Her ass. Between her legs. And yet it caught her completely off guard when he went for, not any of those, but for her hair.

He was…stroking her hair.

She went still.

Bit by bit she felt her muscles go lax and limp. She felt a bit like a cat being stroked into a nice, long nap. It was…nice. Soothing.

“Good girl.”

They were such simple words. So normal. A little condescending even. But god, they lit up her brain like a fucking Christmas tree.

Oh, she thought as gooseflesh broke out along her arms. So it’s like that then?

Feyre pressed her nose to his throat and filled her lungs with the scent of salt and citrus and expensive cologne as she tried to suppress the shiver that suddenly took hold of her.

She felt…restless.

Squirmy.

That hand kept stroking her hair, unconcerned with the bomb he had set off in her brain.

“Look at you,” Rhys murmured into her ear. “I knew there was a sweet girl under all that bravado.”

She felt his other hand skim down the length of her, the slope of her shoulders and the curve of her waist, before coming to rub innocent circles into her thigh.

“Are you going to be my good girl?” He whispered, petting her hair with one hand while his other finally began to sneak under the hem of her skirt. “Are you soft and wet for me?”

Her heart thumped against her ribcage like a hummingbird trying to fly free.

Oh she was certainly wet alright, a fact he soon discovered when she heard his pleased groan as his fingers made contact with the gusset of her panties.

“My good sweet girl. You need this don’t you?”

Feyre shivered as lust crawled through her veins like fire. He hadn’t even really touched her yet and she could already feel her heartbeat throbbing away in her cunt.

“Please,” she begged against his neck.

Those fingers petted her over her panties. Softly. Gently. Like she were a wild animal that needed taming. Her clitoris felt flush with blood and heat. Jesus, this was already hotter than anything she’d ever done and he’d barely even touched her. 

“That’s it…”

She just sighed.

Between one moment and the next she felt his fingers slip under her panties and brush against the curls there. Self consciousness suddenly gripped her. Should she have shaved?Didn’t men hate pubic hair? Her last two partners had. Perhaps there was still time to make an excuse and then go find a razor in the bathroom and-

“So soft for me here.”

Okay. So maybe he didn’t mind it so much.

His fingers sifted through her pubic hair until they found the burning seam of her. They dipped inside and she tried hard not to gasp when they brushed over the pulsing little bead of her clitoris.

“And so soft for me here too…” She felt ready to combust when two of his fingers burrowed their way inside of her.

His erection pulsed underneath her, hot and hard, but shockingly Rhys, unlike every man she’d ever met, seemed in no hurry to attend to it. Perfectly content to whisper in her ear and plunder her insides while he ground his palm against her clit.

“Don’t…don’t you want to have sex?” Feyre gasped against his throat.

She felt a gust of laughter against her skin. “My sweet girl, what do you think we’re doing?”

And then, just as if to prove his point, he curled his fingers inside of her.

In theory, Feyre knew what the g-spot was. She’d heard it spoken about in whispers in the girl’s locker room, as if it were a myth. She’d read about it in the romance novels she told Nesta she totally didn’t steal from her. And yet, none of that could’ve prepared her for what it felt like to actually find out that it was very real and ohJesusohGodohfuck-

Her body seized. Her legs kicked out. Her toes curled.

“There you go,” Rhys crooned sweetly, petting her through her orgasm. “Such a good girl. You’re so pretty when you come.”

She was shivering.

Why couldn’t she stop shivering?

Rhys lifted her as if she weighed no more than a kitten. Only moments later she found herself laid down upon a plush white bedspread. His room. He had taken her to his room.

“Are you going to fuck me now?” She whispered, suddenly sleepy.

“Is my sweet girl so desperate for my cock already?” He asked, amused. He pulled the covers out from under her and then laid them over her, cocooning her in a cloud of warmth.

“Why don’t you come over here and…uh…find out,” Feyre replied with a yawn.

“We have all night for that,” he pointed out as her eyes began to droop.

“Yeah…that’s true…”

Maybe he was going to let her nap and then wake her up later? It was getting late after all. And his bed was so very comfortable…maybe just a quick power nap first…

She was asleep long before he kissed her on the forehead goodnight.

[the-way-astray]

Am I crazy for thinking that if shannon was to go left field she could get away with writing grady to be sophies biological father?

hmm . . . well. allow me to share something i learned about shannon's writing tendencies while doing my secret project. there is a general rule with kotlc where the actual answer to any question that's posed isn't ever something sophie guesses previously. there are several examples, but the most obvious one i can think of is that sophie doesn't ever guess or even suspect oralie could be her biological mother before the reveal. same thing with several other questions posed through the series, such as what fintan wanted when he called a meeting and why the neverseen attacked sophie and fitz. sophie had several theories as to why these events happened, but they were all proven wrong. and this is a trend that has pretty much continued from the start. the black swan leak in everblaze? same deal. and so on.

anyway. that's all to say that. the idea that sophie's biological father could be grady has already been brought up in the series, and then rejected. so that definitely dulls my suspicion that shannon will make it him. in fact, it snuffs it out completely. i don't really believe shannon would do that. it's just not in line with the sorts of plot twists i see her putting into the actual canon of the story.

but your ask is about whether she could get away with it without causing any plotholes . . . so let's examine that, shall we?

we know three things for sure about sophie's biological parents: they have no existing connection to each other, their identities coming out could "shake the very foundation of our world", and they have a reason to donate their dna to create . . . something they weren't given very many particular details on (and additionally, mr. forkle has confirmed that both of them are fully aware that they are the donors; there was no stolen dna situation of any sort). there's also the things that are heavily likely, but not set in stone, which are they likely don't have a family and they likely don't share sophie's abilities, but influenced them somehow.

there doesn't seem to be any particular connection between grady and oralie, so it passes that. but now. how could grady's identity as sophie's biological father coming out "shake the very foundation" of the lost cities? he's already her adoptive father. this would shake absolutely nothing about the "foundation" of the lost cities (and by the way, that quote is an exact quote, so). it may shake grady's relationship with sophie and edaline, but it isn't going to shake anything about the actual state of the lost cities. so it certainly doesn't pass what i would consider to be the most important of the three criteria. and moving onto the last . . . clearly grady didn't like the black swan before he found out they didn't kill jolie, so why would he help them? grady's demeanor is also naturally suspicious. i don't see him agreeing to donate his dna on the little information we know the black swan gave the donors. they were incredibly vague. and i feel like that's just not something that aligns with grady's personality.

he has a family, but we'll skip that since it's not set in stone. why would the black swan choose a mesmer? what possible influences could that have on the way they wanted sophie to turn out? we know they wanted her to heal minds, which requires her to be a telepath and inflictor. teleporting is from her alicorn dna. clearly the black swan wanted her to be a polyglot, seeing as how mr. forkle triggered it in her. enhancing's the interesting one to me. sophie's enhancing is a lot stronger on grady the same as it is with empaths, which we're told is because empathy and enhancing pull from the same "inner strength". but it could as easily be because sophie has some empath influence, so it could also make sense that her enhancing is stronger on grady because she has some mesmer influence. however. that still isn't really an influence (like sophie's emotions-tracking telepathy), so much as it is an unintended consequence. and i don't really see a reason why the black swan would choose a mesmer as their donor if they weren't going for a specific sort of influence they were hoping to achieve.

all this is to say: yeah, i really don't think this will be possible if shannon wants to stick to the canon she's created, unless she wants to spend a whole chapter retconning and reintroducing evidence to force a square peg in a round hole. it just contradicts too much of what we've already been told about sophie's biological parents, and while it's true that mr. forkle could be lying about any of that stuff, i just don't feel like that's the sort of thing shannon should be retconning, since that's the only real information we have to make our own guesses as readers. so. i mean. if you find a way around these things, let me know, but as far as canon goes, i just don't think it will be possible.

[unfortunatetheorist]

What happened to the statue of The Bombinating Beast? - Part 1: ATWQ to ASOUE

This theory is dedicated to @ven10, whose post depicting the statue in the episode of The End (https://www.tumblr.com/unfortunatetheorist/758594891663212544/it-certainly-is-ven10-it-certainly-is?source=share), inspired my thoughts. There are also inferences made by @snicketsleuth (and @snicketstrange) which are used.

So, by the end of WITNDFAON (which I admit I haven't read yet but will get round to), we know that The Bombinating Beast statue is of great importance, as well as:

"Snicket fed Armstrong to the creature, and then wandered into the Clusterous Forest with the statue. It is unknown what he did with the statue and what happened to that beast, or its siblings, after this" ~ Snicket Wiki.

The only hint we have of The Bombinating Beast is that Lemony wanders into the Clusterous Forest with it's statue. Therefore it is important to take into consideration an extra detail about the Clusterous Forest, which links the ATWQ universe to ASOUE:

Lucky Smells Lumbermill gets its green timber from The Clusterous Forest.

This is my line of reasoning as to what happened:

1. Despite being an agent of VFD, Lemony is still a child, so there is a chance he feels some remorse for killing Armstrong Feint/Hangfire.

2. It is out of said remorse that Lemony decides to have nothing to do with the Beast again, burying the statue of the Beast deep in the forest... or so he thinks.

3. During ASOUE (just before TMM) a worker (e.g. Evander) chopping trees for Lucky Smells Lumbermill comes across the statue.

4. Not knowing what to do with it, and being under hypnotic influence, the worker promptly hands it to the foreman, who gives it to Sir.

5. It is extremely likely that Sir (The Miserable Mill) and Wiley Smogface (FU:13SI, ATWQ) are in fact the same person; however, there is no reference of any connection whatsoever between Sir/Smogface and The Bombinating Beast's statue. This implies that he knows nothing about the Beast, which makes little sense given that he is from Stain'd-by-the-Sea.

This logical gap can be filled: if Sir/Smogface had a "very terrible childhood" as Charles has clearly stated during TMM, this could refer to his parents bouncing around from town to town as they seek different jobs with more and more money. Hence, Wiley is left by himself in his parents' latest job-stop - Stain'd-by-the-Sea - unaware of the legend of The Bombinating Beast.

6. Sir has no idea of the power he holds... but apparently, neither does Georgina! There's also no reference to Georgina knowing anything about the statue - she's just a VFD optometrist with a bad reputation who lives in Paltryville, even during the events of ATWQ.

This implies that the statue... well... just stood there, as an ornament, in Sir's office.

7. Someone took the statue from Sir's office at Lucky Smells Lumbermill. But who? Well, whoever it was must have known two things:

a) The importance of the statue

b) It's location

There are only 3 people who seem to fit the bill perfectly - Lemony, Ellington and Moxie.

We know that each of them have their reasons:

Lemony: To use its power to somehow help the Baudelaires.

Ellington: To end it all after falling into a depression from the loss of her father OR to claim revenge on Lemony after having gone through the grief mentioned above.

Moxie: For a great story and the Mallahan legacy; after all, Lady Mallahan allegedly slew the Original Bombinating Beast.

@snicketsleuth's post, 'What is The Great Unknown?' (Full post here: The Snicket Sleuth — What is “The Great Unknown”? (tumblr.com)), says the following:

"Following the events of “All The Wrong Questions”, Ellington eventually escaped from the prison cell with Kit Snicket thanks to the skeleton key in Ellington’s bag. Kit and Ellington, before going their own ways, exchanged a good deal of information. Kit Snicket could not help noticing Ellington acted extremely angry towards Lemony and VFD in general.

In the following years, Ellington worked tirelessly to recover her father’s remaining assets as well as uncovering the secrets of Inhumane Society. Though the book Caviar: Salty Jewel of the Tasty Sea was destroyed, she had had the opportunity to read some chapters Lemony hadn’t. No one knew about the CBB more than her. With some effort, she managed to find the animal hiding in the Clusterous Forest, as well as the Bombinating Beast statue that Lemony had buried there. With the statue, she was now in control of the CBB. Eventually she managed to track down an octopus-shaped submarine which used to belong to Hangfire, only to lose it to Count Olaf.

As Olaf escaped with the submarine (now rebaptized the Carmelita), Ellington pursued him. She used the statue to control the CBB, ordering it to seize the Carmelita. The CBB first encountered the Queequeg in close vicinity to the Queequeg. Unsure whether these two crafts were allied with each other, Ellington ordered the CBB to stand down. Captain Widdershins mistook the question-mark shape on their radar for an enemy submarine.  Later, Ellington witnessed the Queequeg being attacked by the Carmelita, and decided to approach the CBB to scare Count Olaf and help the crew of the Queequeg. Count Olaf also assumed the mysterious entity was an enemy submarine."

I agree with Ellington being the one who takes the statue...

...but I don't think she found it in the Clusterous Forest. Sorry, @snicketsleuth.

8. If Georgina's reputation was really as bad as Moxie made it out to be, there is a chance that Ellington would have visited the Lumbermill in disbelief - I think it is here that she stumbles upon the statue.

9. This happens:

"With the statue, she was now in control of the CBB. Eventually she managed to track down an octopus-shaped submarine which used to belong to Hangfire, only to lose it to Count Olaf.

As Olaf escaped with the submarine (now rebaptized the Carmelita), Ellington pursued him. She used the statue to control the CBB, ordering it to seize the Carmelita. The CBB first encountered the Queequeg in close vicinity to the Queequeg. Unsure whether these two crafts were allied with each other, Ellington ordered the CBB to stand down. Captain Widdershins mistook the question-mark shape on their radar for an enemy submarine.  Later, Ellington witnessed the Queequeg being attacked by the Carmelita, and decided to approach the CBB to scare Count Olaf and help the crew of the Queequeg. Count Olaf also assumed the mysterious entity was an enemy submarine.

The Queequeg eventually escaped from the clutches of the Carmelita. While making their way to the Hotel Denouement, Olaf, Esme and Carmelita Spats realized the Baudelaire orphans’ absence and were betrayed by Fernald and Fiona who let the imprisoned youngsters start a mutiny. Ellington followed the entire mutiny from afar. The youngsters were released. Esme, Olaf and Carmelita fled. The octopus-shaped submarine was eventually given back to Ellington Feint who promised to help Fernald and Fiona if they were ever in trouble."

10. Ellington had no further use for the CBB (as she already gained her father's submarine, which was the intention) so she [presumably, most likely] discarded the statue in the sea, before it washed up on the island, as @ven10 describes.

Part 2 (Post-ASOUE) coming soon,

~ Th3r3534rch1ngr4ph, Unfortunate Theorist/Snicketologist

[yellowbluemoonshine]

I just can't wrap my head around the narrative purpose of Nina. Her characterisation was lacking, she didn't leave any memorable impression I even forgot what she was about other than a leverage for Johan or a refuge in a way.

Her motives were not really mapped out well I feel like the author could've expanded on that more. It overall left a bad taste in my mouth.

What do you think?

About Nina;

I agree with you. I read a lot of Nina metas and i understand what she was supposed to symoblize (Nina; human, Tenma; God, Johan; Devil) but i think Tenma fits the role of human anyway and it doesnt work in Nina's case because she is not some random victim whom Johan killed her parents. She is her brother so her forgiving him at the end (especially when she already forgave other villains) doesnt work out as 'act of love'.

So the reason I think she isnt much memorable to you, thats because she is too similar to Tenma during the series.

They are good people who helps others

They investigate Johan separately but somehow at the same time.

They both project their inner monster on Johan so they think killing him will solve everything

Both use guns

Their interaction with Dieter is same

Everyone loves them

They are the only people Johan cares about and only people he lets them live Though Nina is different, her personality is more expressive and extrovert but this side of Nina is barely seen. Only at the beginning and ending. Tenma's character and ideals makes sense for his character because he is a doctor, also why he is obsessed with Johan but Nina as Johans sister, she couldve been different. More personal, more obsessive.

This is the problem with writing "good people". Her place in story is also mess and kinda replacable....yes, even though she is Johans sister. When i said replacable, i mean a lot of scenes were just there. Even if she wasnt there, nothing would change.

After not being able to meet her, Johan never go after her. He is more obsessed with Tenma, not Nina.

After escaping from her brother, she didnt need to meet Neonazis. Another character would stop the bomb and Tenma would see Johans writing anyway.

Her training from sugar man is just side character story, couldve been Tenma and same with meeting old cop. It couldve been Tenma who met the guy and nothing would change.

Even if Nina didnt come library, Tenma still wouldnt shot Johan. Her "dont shot him" scene with Nina has no build up and cringe. Johan didnt even interact with her at all in that scene and Nina also doesnt attempt to talk with her brother. She literally acts like random cop who suddenly appeared in the scene.

Other characters learnt "nameless monster" book, or 511 or the mansion etc on their own.

Nina remembering her flashbacks, or learning other book stories etc was important information only she knew but she never shared those informations with other characters. Its almost as its just written for audience to learn, to understand Johan.

Her interaction with Johan at broken house, that was meaningfull. That was only them after all but that scene didnt change anything for Johans plans. Johan was already remembering his memories and planning his suicide anyway. Only usefull information is that Nina found out Johan will kill himself but neither Nina and Tenma cared that information enough to do something different. Then at the end everyone find a way to find Franz's town.

At the end, another usefull and important flashback we get with Nina. Only Dr Gilleun heard this but its not like he did anything about it. Then Nina ran to Johan and told him she forgave him. Of course. Of course, it is important but its not impactfull (for audience) if Nina can forgave other characters. And once again, this doesnt stop Johan.

And no, Tenma wouldnt shot Johan even Nina didnt come. Even Nina didnt tell him to save Johan later, he would still save Johan. Literally any other character could say that.

And at the end, Nina lives her life again just a normal girl. Tenma is the one who is with Johan and his words 'You had a name' is what saves Johan at the end.

I am not saying she isnt important character. She is but as character, she didnt change things much, even though she shouldve as main heroine. She shouldve played more role that affects things around her, especially her interaction with Johan. But it didnt.

We could maybe say the same thing for Tenma or other characters but not really. There is already a certain role Tenma symbolize, humanity, saving lifes and most other characters are just side characters. But thats the thing. Nina isnt meant to be side character. She was supposed to be main heroine but even characters like Lunge and Eva, even they mess up or dont do much, they are still more memorable because their invidiuality shows itself. They affect the storyline in their own way.

I think we shouldve seen her inviduality more rather than her just going after on her own. I mean, on her own way, different than Tenma. Most importantly, i wish we shouldve seen her love for her brother, her family (Fortners) but her connection with them, our connection with people shows us who we are. Maybe she shouldve traveled with Tenma, then their connection would makes sense. And definitely we shouldve seen more about the her connection with Johan and her memories as Anna and after remembering, it does affect her so she shouldve done something to affect things around her as Nina, as heroine but none of these happenned.

So i understand why she can be forgotten because we dont see much of her really. And thats a shame. I wish she has done more, and more on her own way, more different than Tenma, more personal because its her brother but she acts like they are strangers so well. I think she isnt well written.

[ghosts-of-love]

My thoughts about the Captain (and especially the scenes in episode 5) under the cut. Not spoiler-free, obviously. it's also...over 1000 words

I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about the way his story was handled. I’ve never been a Havers girlie and to an extent I’m still not, for reasons I would probably have to explain in a different post. I’ve always known the Captain loved Havers, but I will admit that I did always think it was quite one-sided and, given what we were shown in Redding Weddy, I had previously thought that the Captain didn’t know he loved Havers until after his death.

I didn’t mind being proven wrong about that. There was always the chance that we would be given more information about the Captain’s life that would make me rethink things. I suppose I would now see Redding Weddy less as the Captain realising his feelings for Havers too late, and more him coming to terms with it on another level. Or even just realising that you don’t have to bury everything, some emotions and memories can be brought to the forefront and considered in a healthy way.

I still didn’t get the impression that they were ever together. I think there’s a whole depth to the relationship that we were never privy to. A lot unsaid between them and the audience but also between each other. More could always be revealed in the Ghosts Book that’s coming out soon though.

There could have been mutual feelings and love and even an actual romantic relationship there but I personally believe that the raw desperation in the Captain fighting his way into the event shows that they were not in contact (eg. writing letters to each other) in the way that two people in a secret relationship might have been.

I think that they were something that ‘could have been’. They were each other’s ‘what ifs’. If it weren’t war time, if Havers (sorry, Anthony) hadn’t gone to the front, if it weren’t quite literally illegal.

Or maybe it wasn’t even mutual. I find it hard to parse Havers’ expression. His ‘I know’ isn’t even an agreement or a confession, so much as it is an acknowledgment that he understands the Captain’s feelings, even if they’re not reciprocated.

And the Captain says ‘I had to find you’. It was a desire to know he’s alive. To know he survived. He may as well have said “I had to see you in the flesh”.

I don’t think they were together back then. I think they could have both wanted to be. I think they could have ended up together in the future if the Captain hadn’t died. If he had just waited and found a way to reach out to him a different way.

I didn’t have any problems with any of that bit actually. I thought it was beautifully acted by Ben – I could feel everything so deeply. The panic of it all. The desperation. The deep yearning to get closer to Havers, however possible.

My one gripe (which is perhaps becoming less of a gripe as time passes, but might resurface when I rewatch) was actually with what happened afterwards – the apparent lack of reaction to the story by the ghosts. Or at least, the lack of time dedicated to their reactions. He didn’t say the words aloud, and neither did they.

I flip-flop between being annoyed and thinking it works, somehow. I suppose we get to fill in the gaps ourselves – there’s no, ‘he wouldn’t have said it like that’ arguments because we don’t know what he said, we just know the bare bones of what he revealed.

And they all knew anyway.

I enjoyed (you get what I mean) the mirroring of of his stuttering in season 4 ‘I – I -’. Maybe there wasn’t anything to merit sharing with the group then because he lost his nerve but also because he knew they all knew, even if he couldn’t say it aloud. And with Havers – he can’t get the words out. That doesn’t matter. Havers knew too.

It would have been disappointing to me if they’d joked or said ‘we knew’. It would have detracted from the importance, I think. I would have felt the same if they’d fumbled around to say something he didn’t actually need to hear. For example. I don’t think he actually needed anyone to tell him that ‘it’s okay to be gay’. He’s known this for years by this point, since Sam and Claire’s wedding.

But what did he need to hear?

The man who survived the war but saw no action, who sneaked into a ‘decorated officer’s only’ celebration, who crawled through a window, who stole someone’s medals – just to find, not even necessarily talk to the man he loves – the man who died of a heart attack after the war was won.

He needed to hear that he’s brave. And that’s what he’s told, and by Fanny no less (I don’t have the power to unpack all of the meanings behind that; their friendship, her previous attitudes, her husband). I don’t think anything else they could have said would have sat right with me. Considering it was a group setting, I think it was done under the right conditions – i.e. he wasn’t put on the spot like in season 4, he made the decision to say something himself, he didn’t want to move on still regretting, still believing he wasn’t brave, still thinking he’d done something terrible. I think them telling him he was brave – and all being in agreement, all letting him get his story out with no interruptions too, unlike with Thomas, Kitty, Humphrey talking about their deaths/Kitty’s ball – demonstrated a level of attention and respect they don’t normally give to each other too.

I just wish there had been a bit more. Just something. But I can’t even figure out what it is that I wanted them to say in addition, that’s the funny thing!

I suppose I had also hoped that Alison might be there when he finally admitted something about his life/sexuality. She was the one who introduced him to the idea that homosexuality is legal now and specifically welcome in Button House, after all. I think he deserved to feel that she was proud of him. But maybe she was the one who gave him the strength in season 4 to know he wanted to wait until he was ready.

But also, the knowledge that Ben has had this planned in his head from the beginning comforts me, as does the fact that he has always tried to handle the Captain’s story/arc with respect and dignity (as much as these ghosts are ever given, you know?).

Those are my thoughts, slightly untangled but still not exactly coherent. I’d love to hear what you all think too!

[marygih]

My Stlaker

I think one of my most traumatic experiences on the internet was having a Stlaker for years.

I met him on the damned Amino app. At first he introduced himself as a friend who would give me art tips, and I, at 13, thought that was amazing. But obviously I didn't give him any important personal information about myself. We used to chat in a Telegram group. The group had 3 people, me, him and another boy who I later found out was another account of his, he pretended to be two people to talk to me. He would say strange things sometimes, but I took it as a joke. Things started to get weird when he told me: "I wish I had twin sisters like you." At first I laughed and said that my sisters weren't twins, they just had very similar names because my dad isn't very creative. But then I realized that I had never told him I had sisters. I had never shared my art account on Instagram, we only talked on Telegram and sometimes on Amino. I should have distanced myself from him after the first incident. But I already had some attachment to this guy.

His second mistake was when he randomly called me "my white" and that chilled me to the core. The only person who called me that was my father. I decided to analyze my sisters' social media to see if I could find him among their followers. He was somehow discovering things about my personal life. I didn't find him, but I found an old story of my sister's in a very old highlight where I appeared in the background and you could hear my father calling "my white, come here" and I would get up and walk out of view in the video. My "friend" had been spying on my sisters' social media a lot. I thought it was really weird and decided to nip it in the bud and deleted both Telegram and Amino. I just didn't know it was going to get much worse. He actually found my Instagram and for weeks fake accounts would send me messages. At first the messages would ask what had happened, then they would apologize, and then the next messages would be strange and aggressive. In some of them, he blamed my best friend for "poisoning me against him" and said he would make her pay dearly for it. In others, he literally harassed me, in others he said that I must be a lesbian and that's why I didn't like him, and that he could become trans to please me (this was getting so absurd that I was already scared). I didn't respond to any of the messages, I just read them and blocked the account. I made my Instagram private and removed strange followers to try to get rid of it, and he kept bothering me, he found my Pinterest account, sent me text messages, found my YouTube channel, I even received emails from this obsessed motherfucker. I created new social networks without photos and with completely different nicknames to get rid of him. But I didn't get rid of him.

[lokorum]

headcanons my brain came up with after 2 days crying over the dark murrrge story

mb i'll add ketheric's "but can you call it teenage angst when you're 250 yo" thorn and gortrash's hcs at the end, as "from: me | to: me" bonus but who knows??

beware - spoilersss!! (｢• ω •)｢

btw durge's name is isa (he\they, ~78yo, high-elf (ignore the horns phphph)

before events of bg3:

● loves: snow, spicy-milk tea, sleeping in the high, secluded spaces. hates: shoes

● bad, just purely evil combination of being taciturn and looking directly at people’s eyes (quickly became one of gortash’s “favorite last resorts” to speed up negotiations) 

● cosplaying seagulls - moves through the city over the rooftops only, eats trash, steals fish and vegetables for fun. probably definitely took enver’s  “it’s much easier to find beauty in something, when you’re looking at it from the above” advice too close to the heart

● most people in the bhaal church are used to isa leaving and returning in secret. (they tried to ask them about hiddens paths (with zero success); they tried to convince sceleritas fel to ask them about hidden paths (with zero success); they tried to spy on them to learn locations themselves (with zero success and couple of too bold adepts lost to the undisclosed accidents); 

● it’s “you get what you deserve, not what you want” kinda church, mate

● braids corpse’s hair, hums lullabies to fading fireplaces, carves bhaal’s runes on the walls and makes stone bleed

● wild bitch attitude - can appear in the middle of an important ceremony, take the priest's place and kill sacrificed person slowly and meticulously just because 

● ketheric - depressed enthusiasm; isa - violent enthusiasm; gortash - my enthusiasm is way better than yours and deserves all of the attention but okay, i’ll give you like 5 minutes 

● traveled a lot before settling at baldur’s gate just to be disappointed in 20 different languages 

● crawls back to his beloved underground temple like a defeated cockroach because its +25°С outside

● "behind closed doors they perform rituals that make wind howl and ground shudder. after that, for a long while, the air is cold and knives are somehow feels sated"

● refuses to show enver location of the church, but not because of how sacred it is 

● warm lights, buzzing streets, cheerful, unsuspecting, delightfully naive people - when isa first time visited baldur’s gate - the city was almost welcoming. when years after orin threw them away like a useless toy, disposed of them, broke them - (cheerful, unsuspecting, stupidly naive) part of them couldn’t believe that it’s really happening

● “you are the flesh maggots adore” vibes all over this stinky place

enver's hc before bg:

● “NO. no! No. No. No-o-o. no-no. no. No.” - starts tapping his finger on the table - “Well, maybe…”

● has two sides, one of them is in a dire need of bible, and the other one is responsible for that damn wardrobe

● "my work schedule is too tight for you and your nonsense” @ spends all evening crying into a cup of wine 

● sometimes his selfcare routine is to make other people feel miserable in the most spectacular way. sometimes he just wants to be left alone in his evil-scientist laboratory. and sometimes - restless hands, red cheeks from too much wine, voice like he is about to share a secret - it's something different

● can come up with 10 ways to orchestrate someone’s downfall in 10 seconds and it's not even his best results 

● “i have no idea where you’re receiving your information from, darling, but it’s inaccurate” - smiles and stealthy kicks body back under the table 

● uses etiquette as a weapon. can't be scared by ten different knives, forks and spoons at the dinner table (when alone - eats using a single fork that he fetched from gods knows where)

● if he knows that a peaceful solution is not an option - deliberately creates an especially scandalous scene, just to feel what it's like, to stand above a pile of dead bodies of someone who dared to threaten him

● having loyal bhaal child looming nearby, ready to protect - spoiled him rotten

● im like 99,9% sure he is an adrenaline junkie (and during events of bg 3 he is either deeply addicted to having an "illusion of control" or trying to outrun 10 different ways to die horribly is his new hobby, idk)

[discretocincel]

Before we float off in the wind

The title of this story (read on AO3!!) comes from the song ‘Here with me’ by d4vd.

For RadioApple Week, today’s prompt that I went with was ‘Domestic’. Cooking lesson, pt. 2!

All stories in this series are part of the same universe, and this one references something that happened in the third one, 'Watching the world keep changing', but I tried to make it so you wouldn't need to read it to understand this one. Just know that Lucifer and Alastor are already together, and that Alastor used to give Charlie cooking lessons. When Lucifer found out, he wanted to participate, but things didn't go the way they expected.

Minutes before starting, Lucifer was certain that it was a bad idea. He had thought so too the minute Alastor informed him, for the sinner didn’t ask before making plans with Charlie, knowing that Lucifer wouldn’t want to say no to her. When she had approached him, stars in her eyes and a nervous grin splitting her face, Lucifer didn’t stand a chance. He had agreed without a second’s hesitation.

That was why he was there, standing awkwardly in the kitchen of the hotel, not quite knowing what to do with his hands, waiting for Charlie to arrive and acutely aware of the presence lurking in the shadows. His lover knew better than to step out of them yet.

The last—and only—time Lucifer had attempted to cook with Charlie and Alastor had been… eventful. They hadn’t been together yet at the time, but Lucifer was already falling, and he embarrassed himself spectacularly after Alastor got a tiny cut in his hand, one Lucifer decided to lick clean, for some inane reason. No one had suggested a second cooking lesson; all three of them choosing to pretend none of it ever happened. Lucifer would’ve liked to continue that way. He didn’t need cooking lessons. His lover was a fantastic cook! As for bonding time with his daughter, well, there were other activities they could enjoy together, preferably ones who didn’t involve Alastor.

He just knew that he would mess up somehow. He’d done it before they were even together, how was he supposed to maintain the secret nature of their relationship from his daughter while spending an unreasonably long time just the three of them, interacting closely?

Lucifer was a tactile person. It was just his nature. Whereas Alastor, decidedly was not. Rumor has it that he had killed lesser demons for daring to brush their arms together on the street. Even with the oldest residents of the hotel, Alastor kept a strict distance, only broken on special occasions, and very briefly. Lucifer was the exception. When they were alone, just the two of them, Alastor didn’t mind indulging Lucifer’s cuddly side. They would press their limbs together while sitting together or lying down, drop chaste kisses in each other’s shoulders or hands, and generally exist together, always in contact.

Of course, he would like to extend that kind of interaction to other parts of their daily life, outside of their—secretly—shared bedroom. But it wasn’t yet time for that. Alastor had been very clear when they crossed the line that nobody could know, and Lucifer would respect that. They hadn’t made a deal, not an official one, but to Lucifer, his word was just as sacred as a divine contract.

Besides, he had seen in his lover’s eyes the importance of his request. He didn’t quite understand it, but that wasn’t necessary to respect it. Even if he wanted to brag to all of Hell, he would take the secret to his grave if that was what his lover wanted.

That didn’t mean it would be easy. He adored his daughter, she was a part of him, and while he constantly tried to show her a more put together side of him, he kept failing, because he wasn’t good at lying to her. Never to her. But he would have to try. For Alastor.

“Dad!” Charlie greeted him with her usual enthusiasm, and he nearly jumped out of his skin. “You’re already here, good! Did Alastor tell you what he’s planning to teach us today?”

“Nope. I haven’t seen him,” he lied, forcing his eyes to stay on his daughter and not the corner of the room where the shadows were.

“Oh, okay.” Her expression showed her confusion at that, like she had been expecting that they would’ve discussed their lesson beforehand. Should they have? Did they give the impression that they talked? When? Lucifer made sure to stay away from Alastor whenever there were others around! They only interacted publicly during meals! And they sat very far from each other!

“Greetings, Princess, Your Majesty! How are you two this fine evening?”

“Hi Al,” Charlie gifted him a more subdued smile. Lucifer wanted to believe her more enthusiastic greeting meant she liked her father better, but the realistic, hurtful voice inside him reminded him that it likely meant that she was more relaxed with the sinner, felt more at ease.

Even if he loved the man, that still hurt. He took a deep breath.

“Hey, how’s it going,” he mumbled through a grimace. He intended to come off as annoyed, but he probably just ended up sounding depressed. His lover no doubt noticed; Lucifer saw it in the way his brow subtly furrowed. “So.” He cleared his throat, willing his dumb heart to slow down. “What are we doing today?”

“I was thinking something simpler than our last endeavor. How does apple pie sound?”

Lucifer loved apple pie. Alastor knew that Lucifer loved apple pie. Alastor also should’ve known better than to make him swoon in front of his daughter!

“That sounds great!” Charlie said, searching for Lucifer’s gaze to gift him a beautiful smile, eyes turning into halfmoons and all. “Will there be enough for all the staff?”

“We’ll make three small ones first, and if those come out okay, we’ll make enough for the entire hotel.”

“Wonderful!”

Lucifer hoped his lover would feed him with his fingers the fruit of their conjoined labor. Again, he was reminded that this was a terrible idea.

“We will make the dough from scratch. We’re going to pour the flour and salt in the bowl first, go ahead, grab a fork…”

Alastor placed himself in between father and daughter, to lead from example and correct them when necessary. He wasn’t inappropriately close, but it still made Lucifer’s heart race, and he wished he could just turn his face and drop a kiss on his cheek, for being such a good instructor. Whenever he had any advice to give, he would gently pose a hand on Lucifer’s forearm to get his attention, his voice devoid of his usual radio filter even while his microphone played lively jazz softly in the background. It was clear the change caught Charlie off guard at first, but she didn’t comment on it. The lack of static coming from Alastor’s voice made it easier to understand his words, conveyed the message better, and also, once Lucifer had discovered that he was capable of turning it off, he kept asking him to hear his unadulterated voice whenever he could. Not that he didn’t find his lover charming when he used it, together with his transatlantic accent, but Alastor had a remarkably pleasant voice, and the filter opaqued it. His southern accent, from the two, maybe three occasions he had slipped, was also lovely, but he knew better than to expect it where others could hear. The lack of filter was already a marvelous gift, one he would make sure to reward—or was it an apology, a peace offering? Lucifer kept forgetting to stay mad at him.

“Now we need to put this in the refrigerator for a little while. Let’s start peeling the apples, shall we? Take one, each of you.”

Lucifer didn’t need any help with that, but he considered holding the knife wrong just to see what Alastor would do—he definitely would know he was bullshitting, and the mere idea of the way his expression would morph, how he would criticize him for his lack of professionalism nearly made him laugh out loud. However, before he could attempt it, Charlie grabbed his attention.

“Dad? Do you remember how you used to shape them like bunnies when I was younger? Do you think you could teach me how?”

“Of course!” He beamed, chest filling with excitement and he nearly tripped over his own feet as he hurried to stand next to his daughter. “Here, let me show you…”

♪

Lucifer didn’t notice the way the Radio Demon stopped what he was doing to watch him intently, his own smile softer and tenderer than Charlie had ever seen it. She had jumped at the opportunity when Alastor suggested it, mostly because she wanted to take a closer look at the way her father would act around the sinner. She knew she could be oblivious, but she had stopped by her father’s room enough times now to know that the man simply wasn’t sleeping there. She had worried herself sick imagining the man went back to the palace or to his workshop, still suffering from insomnia, keeping his weaker side from her, but then Angel had proposed, jokingly, that her dad was just spending his nights on somebody else’s bed. She didn’t believe it at first, but once the idea got into her head, she just couldn’t stop thinking about it. Eventually, some things about the way her father would exaggeratedly antagonize Alastor, how he would act normal only to suddenly put more distance between them and aggravate him, as if remembering that they were supposed to be fighting, started to resonate with her.

Could it be? No. It was impossible. Ludicrous.

But then again… what if she was right?

Thus, the idea of an afternoon alone with the pair sounded like the perfect opportunity for some observation. She still believed she was nuts, like Vaggie had said. She wasn’t expecting to actually see anything.

She’d imagined that any confirmation that her father was interested in another, any proof that he was moving on from her mother, would hurt her, even if she only wanted him to be happy. But when she saw the way he kept stealing looks at Alastor, as if wanting the man to notice his work and praise him, when he saw the way they moved around each other so naturally and effortlessly, as if they were dancing…

She merely felt happy.

[themetalvirus]

I just can't find information anywhere but knowledgeable people. I'm asking any person who can help me. You see, I am writing a story in which one of the main characters is autistic. There is very little information on the internet about autistics, or it is unreliable.

I want to ask about you have with the world around you. I mean, I've read that some autistic people have an unusual imagination, a vision of events.

i want to give you the benefit of the doubt on this, but it is difficult. just searching "what is it like to have autism" brings up several videos.

make sure to not watch one person and think you get the whole story. one issue i see with a lot of autistic people talking about their experiences is that they assume the way they see the world is THE way autistic people see the world, which is not true - autism is a spectrum, a very diverse experience. if you really want to represent us faithfully, you have to understand more than one perspective. it seems you haven't done even basic research into this, which is disappointing.

this, this, this, this, this (this guy's whole channel seems to be a good resource from the glance i took), this (another great person, familiar with her stuff), this, this, this, and that's literally just the tip of the iceberg on the WEALTH OF INFORMATION on this subject.

most of what came up in that initial search was white people, but DO NOT FORGET TO LISTEN TO AUTISTIC PEOPLE OF COLOR. pay attention to whose voices you are missing in your research. platforms do not make it easy to find creators of color. seek them out. listen to them. videos here, here, here, here, here, here, here.

articles, not videos, here, here, here (ASAN is an excellent resource), here (suspicious website but good quotes), here (seems to be a good website for articles), here, here

book recommendations: the reason i jump and any other book by naoki higashida, literally any book or article from devon price. haven't read many more but literally just googling "books by autistic people" brings up a lot of good stuff

important note for research: ONLY WATCH OR READ THINGS MADE BY AUTISTIC PEOPLE. any "simulators", any "how to cope with autistic family members", any anecdotes from people who are not autistic but claim to be close with autistic people, THROW. THOSE. OUT. throw out anything related to autism speaks, throw out anything related to puzzle piece imagery, throw out anything advocating for ABA therapy, throw out any autism mom blogs. you'll need to skip over half or more of what you see. ONLY listen to words coming DIRECTLY from autistic people.

other things to avoid: "asperger's" (was a nazi, the term is outdated, any place still using it is suspect), functioning labels (high functioning, low functioning), anything about trying to cure or "change" (dogwhistle for cure) autism

i should not have had to do this for you. i don't know how you were looking for information, but the idea that you somehow couldn't find ANY resources from autistic people voluntarily sharing their experiences is deeply suspect.

do not just use the links i have provided. do more research. there is, in fact, a wealth of information on the autistic experience on the internet.

i should not have had to do this for you.

[gamerdog1]

Baccano Review

Since the early days of humanity, we humans have been fascinated with storytelling. From cave paintings, to oral storytelling, to the invention of the printing press and beyond, stories have been a staple of how we share experiences, lessons, or histories with subsequent generations.

When it comes to the recounting of events, though, therein lies a problem: from which perspective is the story told? Who are history's main characters? How can we possibly get a complete look at an event (or events) from only one person's perspective?

While most stories take a singular perspective, linear approach to storytelling, some attempt the daunting task of rounding up as many perspectives as possible, showing that there is always more than one side to every story.

One such series is Baccano (2007), an anime based on the light novel series of the same name, written by Ryohgo Narita. Unlike most historical anime, Baccano's story is told from a dozen or so perspectives, creating a unique viewing experience that rewards audiences' close attention with a satisfying thrill ride.

Describing Baccano's plot is a bit difficult, simply because of how much goes on in it. Its a gangster story about various crime families in New York, and their endless cycle of violence against one another. Its a horror story, about a train hi-jacking that goes wrong after a murderous monster climbs aboard. Its also a comedy about a pair of goofy criminals who mess up their plans all the time, yet still somehow get away with them.

Yet, all these separate plot threads are interwoven in a such a way where each is essential to the overall story. Characters encounter each other in key moments of the plot, and their stories are changed because of each other. In one episode, we see a major character watching a fire break out at a factory, where he bumps into a mysterious woman. In the next episode, we see what the woman was doing before she got to the fire, and where she went afterwards. By doing this, Baccano weaves a complex story where dozens of 'main characters' can shine to their own degrees.

Where this comes most in handy is with how the series doles out scenes and important information. Instead of showing scenes in a linear fashion, Baccano cuts up events and scatters them to the four winds, forcing audiences to put together a timeline as best they can. One minute you could be seeing a gunfight in 1932, then the next you're seeing people board a train in 1931, seemingly unrelated. I found myself trying to plot each scene on a timeline as I watched, but by episode 4, I didn't need it anymore.

The non-linear storytelling of this anime can be tricky to anyone not accustomed to it, having a keen eye and keeping track of the three major events of the story is all you really need to understand the order of events. Each scene is book-ended with something shown in a previous episode, or relates to something that is revealed in the next episode, showing you exactly when each event takes place in the overall narrative. Its not rocket science to understand the story: it just takes a keen eye, and a basic understanding of cause and effect.

Beyond the story itself, I really enjoyed this series, especially because of its atmosphere and setting. Its a rare treat to see an anime set outside of Japan, especially a historical series like this one. Much like Black Butler (2008), another historical anime set outside of Japan, the English dub is a treat, featuring all the old-timey accents that you'd expect for the time period. That, combined with the occasional use of slang (such as using 'giggle juice' to refer to alcohol) and references to 30's pop culture, made the dialogue flow smoothly, and feel natural for the setting.

While taking place in the 1930's, Baccano is in no way a realistic depiction of history, something which isn't helped by it's fantasy plotline. The fantasy element of Baccano's plot doesn't ruin the show (I believe it actually makes the story cooler, though I feel like it could've been integrated more smoothly into the setting, or at least given more time to develop.

That, unfortunately, is the main issue with this series: it really needed more time. With a plot as dense and complex as this, you'd think it would get more time to stretch out and get comfortable. 13 episodes is shockingly little, especially for an adaptation of a light novel series with over 20 books in it. It baffles me that Brain's Base (the studio behind this anime) didn't give this series a longer run, or even a second season. It certainly could do with it.

Still, this series makes the most of its short stay, like a tourist who insists on 'doing everything' on their weekend vacation to New York City. Every character gets a decent amount of screen time and a clear goal, and that goal is either reached or missed tragically. For a show with such a short run, its quite impressive just how much information and story is packed into its 13 episodes. By the end, I felt a connection to the key players, like we'd spent a whole afternoon together (which may or may not be related to me watching most of this anime in one afternoon).

All in all, I quite enjoyed Baccano, though I wish it was longer. The non-linear storytelling was a bit jarring at first, but didn't take me too long to understand. The characters ranged from hilariously stupid to genuinely cool, and each was entertaining to watch. At the end of the day, though, I only wish this series was longer. Characters like Ennis didn't feel like they got the time they deserved, and could've brought this series up from 'great' to 'excellent' if they had gotten more time to develop and explore.

I definitely recommend this series to anyone who hasn't seen it. Sure, its violent, bloody, confusing, weird, and ridiculously short, but it makes the most of what it has. We can only hope for a surprise second season announcement in the near future.

(Also this guy is the best character. I will not apologize.)

[cervidaewasteland]

Boundaries // Parasocialism

"Update" Blogs and Gossip

I think to an extent it makes sense that we would become attached to the music artists we listen to. Music is inherently a personal thing, and when they share that with us they share a part of themselves. I believe that it's okay to find comfort in a person and the stuff that they write. 

What I don't think is okay is trying to dig up more personal information than what they have already shared. What I don't think is okay is spreading rumors and gossiping about them, especially when it's negative. I don't think we deserve to know anything more than what they choose to share with us, and I have come across a few blogs that are dedicated to sharing information about music artists that they haven't shared themselves. These blogs may disguise themselves as "Update Pages", but I think that's a bit of a lie. It's not an update page if you're sharing rumors and gossip and trying to stir people up or cause a panic. The artists we love do not owe us anything. It is generous of them to share their music with us, and asking for or trying to find anything else is just outright selfish. You don't get to call yourself a fan of somebody if you're pushing past boundaries and trying to dig up information about the personal life that they intentionally keep private. 

Fanfic

I know that the conversation around RPF (real person fanfiction) has always been pretty split up. Regardless of how you feel about it, I don't feel like it's right to bundle everybody who engages with it in some way into one group. 

Like anything else, it's always possible to take it too far. I don't necessarily see an issue in self-insert stuff, especially when it's not sexually charged in any way and is simply to find comfort and safety in. It does get a little more complicated when you start writing about personal relationships between real people, but I'm not going to talk much about that because that isn't the point of this post. I do find issue with people who only write RPF to share their extremely sexual fantasies with the internet. Personally, I find it as a form of objectifying someone--seeing them only as a sexual object and someone to have smut written about them. It makes me so uncomfortable to think that people are online making whole blogs with the purpose of writing inappropriate scenarios about people. I especially find issue with the objectification when it's involving a man, because everyone has seemed to agree somehow that that's not as bad as objectifying a woman, which is so far from the truth. I think it's alright to find a sense of comfort in someone and want to share that comfort with other people who may need it, but using your platform to write explicit (and honestly, usually inaccurate) stories about someone is such an uncomfortable thought. 

There is also a very hard line between fantasy and reality that needs to be taken into account. Even when the fanfics are sexual, it's so important to remember that it's not real. It is a fantasy, and it won't ever happen. There are some people who seem to believe that these are real things that could happen, which they aren't. It's sickening to hear about people who are sending these fanfics to the people they were written about, reaching out to them, invading their personal lives to try and--I don't know. Date them? I really don't understand the end goal here. It's totally okay and normal to fantasize about these things, especially for teenagers, but that's just the thing--they're fantasies. They are not reality, and there always needs to be a line between fandom spaces and the artists themselves. It is not okay to send sexually charged messages, or, God forbid, letters, to anybody. Ever. 

"Celebrities Aren't Real People, So It's Okay"

I find this sentiment so inhumane, honestly. I understand that there are some incredibly rich, narcissistic billionaires who totally deserve to be disrespected, but for the most part our favorite artists don't fall into this category. They are real people with real lives and real feelings, and they do deserve respect and for their boundaries not to be crossed. That's it. End of statement. There are no situations I can currently think of in which it would be okay to go out of your way to disrespect someone and make them uncomfortable. 

If you don't agree with something I said in this post, that's okay! I would prefer if you just moved on, but if you absolutely can't control the urge to leave a comment about it, I'd be glad to have a conversation with you :)