#it was honestly worth the £15 I love them sm

[artem1sc0re]

RAGHHH WRENCUSS DOODLE (also featuring charms of the watch dogs 1 trio and Josh I commissioned from a friend :D)

[kuroosdarling]

DEVOURED — ༉‧₊˚.

ft. barou shoei !

꒰ SYNOPSIS ꒱ : a not so gentle reminder on why you shouldn’t squirm in barous lap.

꒰ CONTENTS ꒱ : MDNI. f!reader. cockwarming, unprotected sex, creampie, primal kink (?)

꒰ NOTES ꒱ : everyone say happy birthday to this king ^_^ love him sm and needed to get a lil blurb out for him hehe. enjoy !!

“shoei-“ you whine, your nails digging into barou’s back. he’s kept you in this position for well over 15 minutes and you could hardly take it anymore.

but you didn’t really know how much he got off on it. how he loves when you cling to him, whining in his ear with problems only he can solve. he feels needed, like he’s got you wrapped around his finger — he feels unbeatable.

“stop squirming.” he gruffs out, the pads of his fingers forcefully gripping your hips, securing you in place yet again. his cock couldn’t help but twitch inside of you as you let out another sweet whimper.

he wanted to see how long he could cockwarm you for. it was agony for him as well, but it was laced with the sweetest sin that made it all worth it. having your pleasure at his mercy stirred up his insides and brought him back to something deep within his very core — the one that aligns with the primal side of his brain. to win, to conquer, to rule.

“i thought you were gonna be good for me?” he speaks lowly in your ear, the intimacy has you tightening around him and all he can do is bite back a groan. “thought you’d do anything for me, hm?”

“ye-“ the word gets cut off with a cry as he roughly thrusts up into you. he relishes in the power he has even while he’s buried deep within you. he pauses, and you know he’s still waiting for his answer. “yes, i'll be good.”

he responds with a satisfied hum as your nails dig further into him. he’ll proudly wear the marks you leave on him, showing them off at practice just so the other guys can only dream of tasting a bit of what he has. but they’ll never get it, they’ll never have you. and the thought alone drives him insane.

barou isn’t dumb, he can tell you’re almost at your limit. his fingers reach down to touch your clit, causing your body to jolt against his. but you’re good and only let out a small whine. everything was so wet, your slick had completely covered every inch between you two and he knew it was about time. all he had to do was wait one more second for the signal.

and there it is. this is exactly what he wanted, what he was waiting for all this time. your body gives out, practically falling onto him as your head rests on his shoulder. a silent surrender that has him all too excited, a satisfied smirk growing on his face as his lips brush against your ear.

“atta girl.” he praises, the words barely escaping his mouth. pride fills his chest as he feels you nod, peppering your soft kisses into his skin. “you’ll get what you want now, don’t worry. let your king take care of you.”

in an instant, his hips are snapping up against yours, brutally thrusting into you. all you can do is hold onto him. which only drives him more feral. the feeling of you clinging to him, taking every single thing he’s giving you, causes him to lose a piece of his control.

his mind blanks out as all he can do is focus on how good you make him feel — mind, body and soul. the level of trust and confidence you pour into him has him wanting to give you everything and anything you want. he’d give you the damn world if he could.

you feel his dark red eyes wander down your body, watching where the two of you connect over and over again. he honestly can’t tell where he ends and you begin. the two of you formed into the perfect being as his hips mercilessly chased yours, almost offended by the space that’s inevitably formed between your bodies each time he pulls out.

that’s why he loves cockwarming so much. he loves to see how desperate you get, yes, but the softer, more vulnerable part of him craves that closeness. and each time he feeds into it, it chips away at his control. slowly losing himself to you in the way he always prided that you did to him.

your cries grow louder and louder, your body helplessly falling limp against his as he drives all his force up into you. each thrust was getting harder, deeper. your needy cunt barely lets him move out of you. every part of your body latched onto him and it made his mind dizzy. but he was not one for giving in.

so, he reached back down between your joint bodies and expertly rolled your clit around between his fingers. it sent you over the edge, bringing him with you in a cry of victory. his hips drove themselves into your depths before filling you up with everything he had.

it was quiet for a moment, save for both of your heavy breathing. lightly grabbing you by the back of your neck, he softly gazes into your eyes. a silent way to check in on you, read you to see where your mind was at. and by the glint in your eye, he knew you were still with him.

besides, just because you’ve both come, doesn’t mean it’s over. far from it, actually. because now that the beast has been let out of its cage, expect to not be finished until the both of you have been devoured by it.

[sleep-can-wait]

Okay, so I made a poll on whether Aiden Acharya was a book bf and this is because see him getting a lot of hate. And I have no idea why????? There's even a video (albeit a small mention) calling him annoying???? Also I see him tend to get antagonized in a bunch of fics.

There are only a few reasons I could think of as to why and those do not really make sense in my opinion:

He was distant with Aru of CoG - okay but dude literally has so much trauma when it comes to love. His parents got divorced because of it and his father hurt his mother sm because of it. Now obviously when he used the key in ToW he realised he was in love with her. And no duh he'd want to put some distance between them so that she wouldn't hurt him because of it AND HE WOULDN'T HURT HER

The Kara shenanigans - please Aiden was being polite he literally acted the same as with Mini and Brynne, like Kara was feeling left out, that much was obvious, so Wifey was the better man and helped her feel included. BECAUSE HE IS NICE. The "romance" between them was all Kara's delusions and Aru's unreliable narrating for fucks sake she once thought Brynne and Aiden once had feelings for each other because she always thinks lowly of her.

The time skip - HE WAS JUST TOLD HE WAS GOING TO DIE BECAUSE OF ARU HE IS LITERALLY ONLY 15/16 A MERE FUCKING CHILD YOU THINK HE'S JUST GONNA LA DEE DA HIS WAY THROUGH LIFE AND PRETEND NOTHING IS WRONG????? THAT IS SO FUCKED UP FOR HIS MENTALITY OF COURSE HE WOULD TRY TO AVOID HIS FATE ISTFG-

The rejection at the start of NoI - honestly pretty sure he just word-vomited like Aru in EoT he didn't get to complete what he was saying so he couldn't explain himself properly and after he kissed Aru, he probably realized his fate was sealed and he was on the verge of dying, yes he'd do everything he could to avoid it even if it means lying and taking back everything because he does not want to die has anyone realized how scary dying is??? Like he's probably terrified because god fucking dammit he's gonna die he does not want his life to end he doesn't want to leave his friends or family. It's a kids book so it's not really shown properly how awful and miserable and so fucking scary it is to be told: "you're gonna die."

The rest of NoI - literally the exact same reasoning any moment in this quest he will stop breathing and no one knows Aiden's POV, so he was probably having so many panic attacks and crying and screaming himself hoarse because he really, really doesn't want to die he doesn't want to abandon his mom, being the person Malini found worth living for. He didn't want to leave Rudy, his blood family that didn't abandon him. He didn't want to say good bye to Brynne, his best friend, nor to the other Potatoes. He didn't want to spend less than 9 days with Aru before seeing her for the last time.

I'm probably gonna get so much hate for this but I'm tired of seeing how badly Aiden is treated and I adore him and honestly he was absolutely in the right to cut off Aru, though I'm not saying it was the right thing to do, but he was allowed to do it.

Because. He. Does. Not. Want. His. Heart. Broken.

He. Did. Not. Want. To. Die.

[causenessus]

GOOD MORNING 🗣️🗣️ i know its like 6 something am but we're gonna ignore that bc i physically cannot fall back asleep (curse insomnia)!! make sure you eat enough today and drink water! idk when you're gonna answer this ask but im assuming at nighttime like usual so dont forget to take your meds 🙂‍↕️

omg recently ive been having matcha a concerning amount like i went to an asian store like a WEEK ago and now like every day im making something with it... it's probably fine though?? i wasnt even a big matcha enthusiast before but i remembered seeing a post from you and literally all it said was matcha break and i was like "hm! that sounds pretty good tbh now i want matcha." so here i am, after buying matcha. addiction isn't pretty/j

ANYWAY when i was trying to fall asleep i randomly remembered when u put up a shelf and accidentally messed up a tag on your post about it😭 i think it said something like "if you're rintarou suna i don't care" and when i read it i was like oo that's not! and then u reblogged it with the correction BUT APPARENTLY IM THE EXCEPTION ‼️ i think we got married under that post LMAOAOAO so i remembered all of that when i was trying to fall asleep and then i js started laughing it was so stupid omg,, pushed back my sleeping like 15 minutes but it was worth it bc it was funny

SO ITS MY FIRST DAY BACK TO SCHOOL TODAY OH MY GOSH 😨 itll probably fine im just dramatic but theres sm people i do NOT wanna see. like keep them far away from me or ill flip my shit type of not wanna see 🥰 so thats always fun yk! we're in this together now ness 🙂‍↕️

HAVE A GOOD DAY!! <333

HELLO HELLO SAV!!! i'm sorry for how long it took me to answer your ask </33 PLEASE MAKE SURE TO EAT AND DRINK AND TAKE YOUR MEDS AS WELL!! THANK YOU SO MUCH LOVE <3

matcha addictions are really not pretty LMAO for my wallet or anything else but honestly i love it!! and i'm so happy to have converted you!!! they're super super good i actually love that their bitter and honestly i will drink any matcha no matter if it's sweet or unsweetened 😭😭 my addiction is so bad that i even drink like two a day usually but at least....it's energizing...!!!!! so i hope you're enjoying your matchas <33

AND LMAO THE WAY I BURST OUT LAUGHING ABOUT THAT STORY YOU WERE REMEMBERING 😭😭😭 I'M GLAD TO HAVE MADE YOU LAUGH BC THAT WAS NOT A PRETTY MOMENT WE DEF GOT MARRIED UNDER THAT POST!! <33333 but i went back to like read my post twirling my hairs like "omg i love suna so much 🥰" and then reread the post like "OMG HOLD ON WAIT I SAID I DIDN'T CARE ABOUT HIM </3" but he knows i meant well 😔😔 and i corrected it in the end!!

AND I TOTALLY GET IT YOU'RE NOT DRAMATIC AT ALL!! THAT'S HOW I FEEL LIKE 24/7 LIKE YES I'VE BEEN BACK IN SCHOOL FOR A WEEK and still everyday i wake up like "man i am not looking forward to seeing these people today" like they never get better </3 in fact, they get worse 💀 I HOPE YOU HAD A GREAT DAY!!! AND LUCKILY IT'S FRIDAY SO I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND AS WELL!! AND GET TO REST A LITTLE BEFORE THIS NEXT WEEK STARTS </3

[m1ckeyb3rry]

LMAOOO unhinged aiku just like revived me I fr laughed so hard reading all of his comments we love insane aiku but it’s ok I think Nikoaiku (Aiku? Niku? Funny bc niku means meat) is my new favorite unexpected duo I can’t wait to see more Niko sidekick action (although hes arguably doing more than Aiku LMFAO)

WAIT SO REAL LMAOO major monogram and carl dynamics so true

But LMAOAO I NOTICED THST I was like wait double fb mention reader and Niko distant acquaintances??? That was so funny LMAO STOP THE KARASU HOMEWRECKER ALLEGATIONS (I almost forgot that’s the plot for his oaeu I’m gonna eat that up though)

BAROU REP SO TRUE reading your fics is like waiting to watch the next episode of a really good kdrama even without the romantic plot I was already crying just reading the Ubers being goofy

Typing pokemon names actually has me dissolving the amount of times I try to fix a name for it to continue correct has me losing my mind but wtv!!! HAIKU LMAOO that’s giving the exact opposite vibes of aiku in generally baron Barou is also really funny

Also Karasu corvisquire kinda real that’s so funny it’s the hair and feathers I tell you

Ok I’m gonna start merging asks in the next round so your inbox isn’t overflowing LMAO

- Karasu anon

insane aiku my beloved…this is a 19 year old trapped in a facility with a bunch of insane 15-18 year olds no WONDER he’s losing it he should be at the club 😭 nikoaiku my number one duo fr the way in aiku’s pov they’re sibling coded but to niko it’s giving relatively chill manager + underpaid employee HAHAH

the way reader and her bestie were essentially slandering niko’s dad is so funny LMAOAOA they’re all facebook connected ig 😭⁉️ YESSSS KARASU NUMBER ONE HOMEWRECKER him going to aiku for tips on how to destroy a relationship is so funny to me (also for karasu’s and reo’s versions i think the second pov will actually be them instead of aiku since aiku himself isn’t doing major money moves he’s just providing brief advice or [in reo’s case] making offhanded comments that lead to existential crises) the way his mind IMMEDIATELY jumped to aiku ngl otoya would’ve been just as good of a pick but maybe the thought of asking otoya for advice gave him hives KFFJSJSJ

OMG KDRAMA COMPARISON I’M SO FLATTERED oaeu does give kdrama/romcom vibes though so i’m glad that that comes through in the actual writing!! i feel like the barou version was def lighter on the romance and heavy on the ubers dynamic but it was honestly so funny (to me) that it was worth it imo 😭

POKÉMON NAMES MAKE ME CRASH OUT FR but yeahhh i was like uh maybe professor aiku gives haiku?? otherwise the vibes are not quite correct there (although the barou + baron comparison does fit)

karasu and corvisquire fit too well LMAOOO the side profiles are exactly the same and the way his smirk looks like a beak too 😭 he’s so silly…my cutie bird coded bf i love him

DW my inbox is already insane atm (i literally have 20 asks of just requests + 1k event entries and that doesn’t count people randomly dropping in) feel free to send as much as you want 😄 nothing can make it worse atp LMAOAOA i don’t think i’ll be able to open requests back up for a WHILE because i have sm to work on rip the thought of having reqs open during bllk season 2…you will be missed…

[btsmosphere]

CHAPTERS 14 AND 15 AAAAAAAHHH ‼️‼️‼️ THE KISS 😭 It was so gentle but passionate I LOVE THEM SO MUCH 😭 The way they're all so protective of each other and the little moments where the care shines, it's so beautifully written I'm in awe 😭💗 also, JIN!!!! You've written his energy so precious 🤏 I love it sm 😭 THEY FINALLY DEFEATED BOLT AND TOOK OUT MONSOON TOO It was so satisfying to see Monsoon suffer his fate after what he did to oc in that chapter!! >:(( I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTERS HOPE YOU HAVE ANOTHER AMAZING WEEK AHEAD 💗💗💗

~ ☕

AAAAAAAAAAH THANK YOUUU!!! I'm sooo happy you loved the kiss scene, I really wanted to make it special after such a long and turbulent slow burn😅so it makes it all worth it to hear I managed to make it happen! And the whole family of them yesss it put a giant smile on my face that you notice and enjoy all the signs they care about each other🥰they really have each other's back, the lot of them care so fiercely for each other kghsdlfgh

eyyy also hell yes to Jin, I love him in this!! my fave moment has to be when the others beat up Bolt with their powers and Jin just socks him in the face ahahaha !! and woohoooo Bolt and Monsoon got what they deserved! It was actually so satisfying to write that tbh😌

It's honestly bittersweet that only the epilogue is left now! But I hope you enjoy it and thank you so so much again for letting me know your thoughts and what you liked🥰💜have a great week too!!

[sapphicwhxre]

ASTERIA'S 2.5K FOLLOWER FIC REC LIST

i read fics just as much as i write them so here are some of my favourites. tysmsm for this milestone, i love you all <3 quick note: i didn't re-tag anyone if i recommended more than one of your works because of the tag limit.

───────── girls ─────────

hermione granger

tuesdays - @stupxfy

probably one of my all time favs for hermione. it's just so well written and adorable and fluffy and yes.

if i could tell her - @hellounicorn

pining, pining, PINING. the way these emotions and hermione's described is just... art. perfection. there's a happy ending and it is so worth the build up.

darling dearest - @dracolvr

fluffy goodness. read to be hopelessly in love with hermione ─ which, let's be real, we all are.

november rain - @pansydaisy

uhm i love this one sm. it's so simple but amazing ─ everyone has their days like this and having hermione to cure them? it's what everyone needs.

i need more - @15-dogs

i sobbed the first time i read this. it'll break your heart but it's so amazingly written that it's worth the sadness. actual gut wrenching / mindblowing writing.

how the potter girls react to you in lingerie - @pottersanime

the title. need i say more?

honeyed eyes - @minty-malfoy

HEAVEN. being hermione's first kiss as friend? but both of you idiots liking each other? oh my god, sign me up.

hugging her from behind - @pastanest

again, the title. read to feel 🥺💙

grey days - @pepperimps01

PANSMIONE 😌😌 it's angsty with a happy ending and i love it sm. this does such a perfect job of capturing pansy and hermione's relationship growing and having its ups and downs with just a few paragraphs. honestly so good

grenade - @hellounicorn

another one that'll make your heart shatter. but in the best way. these are the fics i live for where the you can't help but feel like it's really happening to you and hermione and god it's so fucking powerful. underrated writing right here in general. and also pansmione is the loml so it hurts in that way.

honeybees - @pansydaisy

fluffy aesthetic heaven.

lead the way - @teacup-tai

more pansmione but this is pure filthy thinking and satisfies all the sexual tension dreams pansmione shippers have.

two queens in a king sized bed - @shysneeze

domestic christmas morning with hermione and it's angelic.

would you still love me if i turned into a worm? - @minty-malfoy

one of those blurbs i never imagined i'd read or love so much. not to mention it's spot on and adorable.

pansy parkinson

right and wrong - @starrkidmalfoy

a first kiss and the overdone trope that i will never get sick of, the bitch who's soft only for you. the descriptions in this are perfection and the writing is beautiful <3

messed up - @writseo

toxic, messed up love fics will be the death of me. insane how well you captured it all and i just yes damn fucking props.

pansy parkinson imagine - @moonlight-imagines

*screams* THE BEST FRIEND BANTER + THE ENDING OH MY GOD OH MY GOD ─ I SCREAMED WHEN I FIRST READ THIS. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE IT.

dating pansy would include - @lotsoffandomimagines

ABSOLUTE POWER COUPLE SHIT and to this day, pansy saying "jealous much?" when being scolded for pda remains iconic.

grey days - @pepperimps01

as i said before: PANSMIONE 😌😌 it's angsty with a happy ending and i love it sm. this does such a perfect job of capturing pansy and hermione's relationship growing and having its ups and downs with just a few paragraphs. honestly so good

new rules - @silversslytherin

excuse me this is immaculate ─ pansy is the best friend and the second you see that she's also the best s/o, you're done for. perfection.

study "dates" - @turning-dreams-into-chaos

the title is self explanatory and this whole thing is fluffy heaven <3

how the potter girls react to you in lingerie - @pottersanime

read the title, thank me later.

lead the way - @teacup-tai

more pansmione but this is pure filthy thinking and satisfies all the sexual tension dreams pansmione shippers have.

traitor - @hufflepuff-writings

a masterpiece where pansy chooses the wrong side in the battle of hogwarts. this ties up so well and the writing is so powerful.

back alley love potions - @a-simple-imagine

this actually hurts but in a beautiful way. watching pansy give draco a love potion is such a fucking concept and this is executed incredibly.

my little bunny - @emmamarie7708

pansy making you do this is so dirty yet she's slightly sweet and i am a sucker for it. god is a woman and her name is pansy fucking parkinson.

pansy parkinson imagine - @moonlight-imagines

i'll let pansy beat people up for me all day. they put me in madame pomfrey's, feel my girlfriend's wrath.

ginny weasley

blissful - @enyastasia

fluffy ginny goodness. the friends to lovers? the amazing kiss? 🥺🥺🥺💞💞 this fic lives in my heart <3

bubble pop electric - @hunnypot-imagines

this is hotter than a lot of actual smut and the chemistry is so... wow. ginny weasley owns me.

dear ginny - @alyssamalfoy

how does this short ass letter manage to make me feel so much. it's sorcery but i don't even care, it's beautiful.

wildflower - @pansydaisy

will i ever get tired of cheeky i love yous? not when loves like ginny weasley and ayli's so so pretty writing exist.

all i want - @hellounicorn

ouch. fuck you harry :) quite possibly the best ginny fic i have ever read. insanely talented writing, i genuinely feel every touch of emotion you put down and you need to know how amazing that is. keep breaking my heart.

linny hcs - @bluebirdlinginthenest

who doesn't need good linny content in their life?

how the potter girls react to you in lingerie - @pottersanime

sexy bitch, fuck me up.

willow - @padmeamiala

ginny is the loml. her brothers can cry about it.

bellatrix lestrange

attempting to bake with bellatrix - @carters-coffee

MY FAVOURITE BELLA FIC ─ there's not enough bellatrix fluff out there but this makes up for the lack of. heaven.

bellatrix prompt - @carters-coffee

this gives me chills. she knows she's a bad bitch and that's what we love about her.

change of plans - @dumb-sbian

why THE FUCK have i not had a rainy morning with bellatrix? she can sleep and mumble something just like this and i'm still head over heels for her.

being tortured as bellatrix's girlfriend - @writings-of-a-british-fangirl

definitely a concept BUT this makes me feel some type of way and i recommend giving it a minute of your time 😌

bellatrix finding out you're a muggleborn - @carters-coffee

the beauty, the nuance omg. this is art.

bellatrix prompt - @carters-coffee

yep jealous bella. trust me, im all yours mommy <3

sex with bellatrix would include - @onegayastronaut

so short but... sign. me. up.

luna lovegood

never leave - @/deactivated

luna smut is hard asf to come by and this is my favourite. it's so luna and the pain over her not knowing, not getting that closure about how you feel until this is an amazing rollercoaster.

she - @hunnypot-imagines

the beauty of falling in love with luna, through this majorly talented writing. ten out of fucking ten. i will not elaborate but there's also majorly good association in this imo.

silver berries and flickering fireflies - @duskgrangers

i love this fic so much. she's so herself and that is why we ✨ simp ✨ and the scene set just sounds so prettyy

how the potter girls react to you in lingerie - @pottersanime

luna + this title? yes please, ma'am i am simping.

would you still love me if i turned into a worm? - @minty-malfoy

put me in your pocket luna. im begging you.

dancing in the rain with luna - @/deactivated

only luna would get you a dress to go dancing in the rain and this is the stuff of blissful, fluffy dreams.

hugging her from behind - @pastanest

short and cute, do me a favour and read it :)

dating luna lovegood would go like - @glossymalfoy

life is NOT worth it if you don't read these cute little headcanons and imagine dating ravenclaw's baddest bitch.

linny hc - @bluebirdlinginthenest

like i said, who doesn't need good linny content?

cho chang

strawberry kisses - @pansydaisy

the only cho fic i've been able to find and it's SO WORTH IT. the cutest, it flows so well, and i absolutely love it. i need this with cho tbh.

fleur delacour

toutes les etoiles - @coffee--writes

im in love with fleur and this amazing writing. and for the first time since i started high school, my three years of taking french feel good for something.

being best friends with fleur would include - @harrypotter-imaginess

not romantic but actually so sweet pls. i want this friendship in my life so bad.

nymphadora tonks

dating nymphadora tonks would include - @imaginesforgirls

dating her + that warm little feeling of bliss that only HCs can give you

taking care of her after the war - @random-imagines-blog

this kind of hurts in that good ass way and i lovee it. they're simple hcs but i feel for tonks so much and then there's that warm lil feeling when you're the one to put her back together aand now my primary life goal is to help this woman heal.

───────── boys ─────────

harry potter

phosphenes - @minty-malfoy

ok shakespeare, the fuck?? this fic will never not get me right in the heart. the angst, holy fuck. and for once, the reader doesn't hurt harry and let draco walk all over them and it's just done so well. the transition from a toxic relationship to a sweet, loving one PLEASE. it's beautiful.

happy memories - @15-dogs

how does this manage to be so. smutty and fluffy at the same time? this is one of those short ones that has lived in my head, rent-free since i read it. and tbh any fic that includes expecto patronum is guaranteed to be good.

come back to me - @wondernimbus

right from the beginning, it's a mess of emotions both good and bad. that kind of good ass writing that hits you in the heart <3

making out with harry potter would include - @badfvith

read this title. done? now thank me later.

harry prompt - @thoseofgreatambition

harry x a sarcastic swooning bitch is an elite trope idc. short and sweet, i'm marrying this fic.

keep your eyes on the prize - @rowema-ravenclaw

first of all, showing harry up and second, pure fluff (and a little steam) right after. i also love how she writes harry in general because he's totally safe/in love with the relationship but still has that awkward lovable shyness and i just... *sighs*

always - @pansydaisy

uhm i will always love him and always reread this a thousand times so its a fit title + a good read.

late night studying - @lumosandnoxwriting

fuck studying, let his hand stay in my shirt. once again recommending fluffy bliss in the form of a short read that makes me feel things <3

would you still love me if i turned into a worm? - @minty-malfoy

he's so stupid. but he still loves you + this is from our resident perfectly talented writer so its a win.

cuddling after a rough quidditch practice - @badfvith

harry james potter is : b a b y

gryffindor's victory - @rowema-ravenclaw

make me gryffindors fucking cheerleader because HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT. AND THE WRITING IS IMMACULATE PLEASE. just read it, you won't regret it.

draco malfoy

silent treatment - @slytherinwh0re

andy's mad talented and this is just... insert a cheesy chefs kiss. unbelievably adorable but so fucking hot and an actually good smut plot (which is rare lmfao). remind me to give draco the silent treatment every time im upset.

rewards - @malfoysstilinski

so hot PLS. hype him up for the match and get your reward, bye. so good.

reading between the lines - @minty-malfoy

i've said this a thousand times but that's what happens when you've got a mad talented mutual BLESSING everyone with beauty like this. butterflies and warm feelings all around when i read this 💓

point of view - @draconisxcaput

its angst for hermione and fluff for you but overall ethereal writing. i am never going to recover from the pure talent that this is.

im not kidding im dying - @malfoysmatrioshka

i hate being sick with a passion but this... this would make it worth it.

hogwarts express - @/deactivated

draco fucking you because he knows harry's watching. the shit of legends and god is it hot.

draco laughing at you because you can't walk after sex - @glossymalfoy

*motions to the title* fluff with this loser 😌

the cheeseburger - @slytherinwh0re

really short read but this is one of those things i just. didn't know i needed. you're missing out and haven't even realised it if you haven't read about introducing him to cheeseburgers. and that ending is so funny/in character to me i fucking love it.

four am - @malfoysstilinski

domestic draco 🥺 but also sad draco 🥺 and then fluffy draco 🥺

hugging him from behind - @pastanest

real short and it'll brighten your day <3

would you still love me if i turned into a worm? - @minty-malfoy

how is it that this is so stupidly adorable. i love it 💘

ron weasley

heather - @hellounicorn

always making me cry with your fics i swearrr. this is a must-read. having someone but them not really being yours is a beautiful trope and this fic absolutely does it wonderful, poetic justice. your angst is addicting.

apple pie - @pregnant-piggy

ABSOLUTE DOMESTIC BLISS I AM IN LOVE. i don't even like kids or baking that much but this made me so soft. the whole cozy, heavenly vibes from this fic yes yes yes.

jealousy - @writeroutoftime

cliché jealousy turns friends to lovers and i am a sucker for it all over again <3

shaking and trembling - @ronsbadidea

if ron doesn't finger fuck me and then make a cheeky comment about it in class later then WHAT IS THE POINT :(

mixed signals - @iamthecabbage

i've always figured ron is this awkward idiot cutie with a crush and yea, this is it.

fred and george weasley

i love you, but you don't - @george-fabian-weasley

fred's a character i really don't read for often but goddamn. it's the saddest, most beautiful mix of rejection and pain and fred desperately caring but not in the way you want him to ─ an angsty masterpiece.

cockwarming george - @roonilwazlibimagines

because of this filthy gem, i one hundred thousand percent believe that he could make me cum without even fucking me and this is just... it's a good fucking read.

would you still love me if i turned into a worm? - @minty-malfoy

their responses are so wonderfully chaotic and adorable and GOD you're missing out if you haven't read these lil blurbs.

─

[wayward-pendragon]

Anime Recommendations!

Hi everyone, I hope y’all are safe and happy! With quarantine still in place (at least in my country), I’m gonna keep the random rec lists coming! I’ve been watching a lotttt of animes and rewatching favourites, so I thought I’d share some of my favourites of all time! A lot of them are pretty mainstream, but for my friends who aren’t really into anime, these will get you hooked! In no particular order, let’s get started!

1. Snow White with the Red Hair, 24 episodes 

This is hands down my favourite anime of all time. This shoujo anime make me feel so happy and it’s so wholesome, honestly such a feel good anime. Without spoiling too much, it’s about a herbalist named Shirayuki who ends up having to flee her home country and ends up meeting Prince Zen and goes to live in his country. The cast of characters in the anime is so good, there’s not a character to dislike. The genuine build up of friendship and eventual romance is just so sweet please watch. 

2. Demon slayer (26 episodes) 

One of the best anime I’ve watched this past year. This anime has amazing plot, awesome animation and a great cast of characters. This anime follows Tanjiro as he becomes a demon slayer after a demon killed his family. Tanjiro and his sister, Nezuko were the only survivors but Nezuko was turned in a demon and now Tanjiro is on a journey to change he back into a human. If you are into anime with amazing fight scenes, I highly recommend. 

3. Hunter x Hunter (148 episodes) 

I am currently watching this anime and it honestly made it onto my lists of favourite anime super quickly. The series starts with Gon and his quest to become a pro hunter and find his dad and goes on from there. With so many episodes and arcs, you can’t stop watching. The characters immediately hooked me on this show, Killua and Gon’s friendship is one of the sweetest things I’ve ever seen in anime, I literally want to adopt both of them. This anime is so heartwarming but also kinda dark and action packed. 

4. Haikyuu!! (73 episodes, on-going)

My favourite sports anime my god. Haikyuu follows a high school volleyball team as they try to make it to nationals. This series made me so much more emotional than I thought it would, but you get so involved with the team and characters and want them to succeed. All of the characters from all of the teams are also fantastic and hilarious. If you need a fun but exciting anime, please please please watch Haikyuu!!

5. Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood (64 episodes)

Where to even begin. I would say this is one of the most popular anime and for good freaking reason. Without giving too much away, this anime follows brothers Edward and Alphonse Elric as they go on a quest to get their bodies back. Honestly this is one of my fav animes, if you like awesome fight scenes and really intriguing plot, you will love this anime. 

6. Yona of the Dawn (24 episodes) 

Another amazing anime but sadly, unfinished. I think this anime is best to watch w/o knowing very much. Just know that there is really good characters and character development and a very attractive love interest :))))

7. Soul eater (51 episodes) 

One of the first animes I ever watched and as I remember it’s hella awesome, if you like halloween then the whole atmosphere of this anime will intrigue you. The fight scenes in this are really fun and so are the characters. If you need a fun medium length anime, I would recommend this one!

8. Inuyasha (193 episodes)

This anime is worth all the hype in my opinion. The plot was great, the characters are fantastic and romance is so freaking cute I can’t. I’m also a sucker for asshole characters who are secretly really sweet. 

9. Fruits Basket (2019) (25 episodes (S1), S2 on-going)

This is the cutest anime. The whole cast characters is amazing and you get so attached so fast. The protagonist is so sweet and optimistic and I really just wanna protect her. I went into this knowing next nothing and I think that’s the best way to do it. The 2001 version is good too but 2019 has better animation and is closer to managa (and has more episodes!). 

10. My Hero Academia (88 episodes, on-going)

I love this anime with my whole heart. There is an adorable cast of characters and amazing fight scenes, I love this sm. It’s set in a world where like 95% of the population has ‘quirks’ which are basically super powers but not all of them are super powerful. Super heroes protect cities and the anime follows a high school where the students are training to become heroes. The main character is born without a quirk but through some crazy circumstances he ends up acquiring one. In my opinion this anime is worth the hype. 

11. Ouran Highschool Host Club (26 episodes)

This one is wild. Ouran Highschool Host club is so iconic and it’s hilarious, I laughed out loud watching this one so much. Honestly I went into this knowing nothing and I think its funnier that way. 

12. Yuri!!! On Ice (13 episodes)

THIS ANIME. The first sports anime w/ canon LGBTQ+ romance and its beautiful. I love the style, the skating, the music, the characters, just everything about it. This follows Yuri Katsuki, a professional figure skater from Japan and his skating career. After messing up a major championship, Yuri is lost and doesn’t know what to do w/ his career. After seeing a video of Yuri skate, his idol Victor, a skating legend, shows up to be his coach. Please watch this anime. 

13. Attack on Titan (62 episodes, on-going)

If you are looking for a badass action anime this is the one for you. Humanity has fallen to the mercy of giant man-eating titans, and the people that survived live within a walled city to keep the titans out. This anime is a little disturbing and violent but it is so badass. Also Levi, the most badass character ever, makes this entire anime worth watching. 

14. Ao Haru Ride (12 episodes)

Hands down my favourite romance anime. This anime is so freaking cute and it gave me so many fuzzy feelings. The animation is also super nice so that is always a plus. It follows Futaba and Kou who liked each other in middle school but were separated. They meet again in high school but they have both changed so much. If you want a romance anime I really recommend this one. 

15. Naruto (720 episodes)

This is a freaking classic and really long. Almost everyone and their mother has heard of this anime or watched some of it before. Basically it’s about ninjas and follows mainly Naruto Uzumaki who want to eventually be the leader of his village but his ninja skills need a lot of work. I honestly didn’t think I would love this anime as much as I did but its just so good. It is a very big commitment to finish though so be prepared. 

16. Your Lie in April (22 episodes)

Well this anime is literally beautiful. It is centered around 2 teens w/ major musical talent. It gets deep very fast but its also light hearted and wholesome. This anime made me cry like a baby so get your tissues ready. 

[djemsostylist]

The Great Dizi List, Part 2

Her Yerde Sen: This one is a romcom, and the first one I have finished. I LOVED it. Remained cute and soft throughout, the main couple was basically together for ¾ of the show, and ended before things got too silly or ridiculous. Even the requisite break-up wasn’t really a breakup, and I liked that the ending wasn’t the typical dizi cliché. Loved all the side characters and their stories, loved how everything was one big connected story throughout. It's one of those feel good shows, where everything just makes you happy and there's no stress or heartache. Excellently written, dealt with some good themes without being over the top. Very innocent story for sure, but it was great, and I would watch again for sure!

Halka: This one is a mafia drama ostensibly, but I'd say it veers more towards a psychological/family drama really. I literally binged this show in a week. It’s the first one that grabbed me from minute one–I could not stop watching. It was FANTASTIC. It’s hard to compare it to SM, but I’d say it comes the closest. If it wasn’t for the fact that it is a 2.5 hour show in a foreign language, I would 100% recommend this to like, everyone I know. I loved all the characters (even the ones I hated), it NEVER dragged, the acting was phenomenal, the story was super interesting, and I LOVED the main bromance and the main romance. Fantastic. I will never get over Cihangir, Kaan, and Müjde, they are my babies and I will love them forever. I didn’t think anyone could come close to my foursome in Meryem, and yet these three exist. And Bahar, she was precious too. I was tempted to turn around and watch it all over again. Now all I want is season 2.

Yeni Hayat: This one is another family/psychological drama. Essentially about a woman married to a rich but super abusive man, and her body guard and his family. This show is one of those shows where are the elements are there--good plot, great actors, solid writing, good sets, but it just...flops. The subject of abuse is an important one, and I liked what I think they were trying to say, but there as no sparkle, nothing that grabs you it’s just very meh. I mean, tbh it’s worth watching at least the bits with bodyguard and his daughter bc she is a delightful little actress and they are so cute together, but everything else is a pass tbh. It was extremely blah, and since it got cancelled it has no ending. Serkan is still pretty tho.

Muhteşem İkili: This one is a cop dramedy, but it's honestly more of a family drama. I ADORED this show. Like, loved loved loved it. In the interest of honesty, I did not watch literally any of the police plot, I literally just watched it for MKC and his family. It’s a Kerem drama, so of course he was flawless. MKC is basically like if Ali and Serkan had a baby, and I adored him from minute one. His relationship with his son is beautiful, and I adored Kaan so much. I also loved his relationship with his ex-wife–they might have one of the most respectful, mature, and realistic relationships I’ve seen on tv, let alone in dizis. Loved his sister (Özge Gürel was adorable in this) and his relationship with his partner and his dad were great. Beautiful found family trope, and overall just fantastic acting. Cancelled after only 12 episodes so I had a minor meltdown lol, but I’d highly recommend–you can literally just watch the parts with MKC and his family or his sister and get all you need.

Immortals: Look, I’ve watched a lot of things for an actor I’ve loved, and this is no exception. This was bad. I love Kerem, but this is gonna be a whole yikes from me. (Tbf I also watched two of his more recent movies which were also bad). Like…maybe I am just not here for vampires anymore idk.

Azize: This one was also ostensibly a mafia drama, but got cancelled at episode 6. Hande was excellent in this, and it was a different kind of role for her I think, which was great. Her character was actually really interesting and I was curious to see where it was going. Unfortunately, the show was terribly written. The script was extremely one note and basic, and literally told you everything so there was nothing to wonder or speculate on. The lead man came off as much, much older than her and they had no chemistry. I didn’t finish episode 4 tbh.

Içerde: This one is another mafia/family drama, mostly focused on the relationship with two brothers (who don't know they are brothers). This was was excellent, but it went on for just about 15 episodes too many. The plot dragged after about 20, and I didn't get enough of the stuff I wanted as a result. But the acting was truly spectacular from the whole cast, and I would recommend on the basis of that alone. Truly, truly excellent writing and acting, and a very satisfying conclusion.

Part 1, Part 3

[dystopian-penguin]

Is this a real life story? Is this a fic concept? Who knows 🤷

But here’s a very long account of... something.

This isn't a gay disaster story. It's a gay sad ending story. It's a gay "self-homophobia is very real and realistic” story, and not in the "gay panic is kinda cute" way.

It all started 14 years ago (yes that long), when I was still deeply in the HP fandom and even more deep into reading James/Lilly fics in ff.net all day long. For the first time in my entire life I decided to sort by “all works” and not just “completed”. I know it might sound super silly, and even a bit cliche considering this is tumblr and we live and breath fics, but that single decision literally changed the course of my life. And unlike what I usually do, I am not exaggerating. I found this one fic that must have had, like, 20 chapters and almost 100k words and dived into it without looking for rocks in the bottom. Long story short: the last posted chapter ended on a huuuuuge cliffhanger, like the very next moment after the kiss, and it left me completely destroyed.

So I did what I always do, what I am known on tumblr and my small social circle in here to do: I went to scream at the author.

But I wasn’t content to just scream in the comment section, oh no. For all I knew the bitch wouldn’t even see it, the last update had been from like 8 months previously. So I stalked her ff.net profile and found her MSN email. Yes, the story is THAT old.

My literal first words to her must have been something akin to “OH MY GOD I HATE YOU SO MUCH”, which yay for the beautiful poetic irony that the universe crafts at times. She took it in stride because, let’s face it, a shitton of people had already greeted her like that by then. And we started talking, and it was easy and fun. We had a lot in common, more or less the same type of interests, the usual you’d expect if I had met her on tumblr even. We must have talked like 3 hours straight on that first day, and I left feeling pretty good cause I had made a new friend. Not only that, but right off the bat I admired her so much. Not only because she was talented as fuck (imagine writing a 100k unfinished fic at only 15 y/o), but also because the more I talked to her the more I could see just how fucking cultured she was and how intelligent and ect. She came from a wealthy family and such a different reality from me. She had been abroad, in fact she usually travelled abroad with her family like twice a year, she was fluent in english even then (at that point I was I intermediate at best), not to mention german because her family was german. She was 15 (a year older than me back then) and trilingual and could write wonderfully and I was fascinated by her instantly.

Something else worth of note was that her profile pic on the day we met had been set to a close-up of a blue eye. I must have asked on that very same day whose eye was that because damn if it hasn’t been the prettiest blue I’ve ever seen. I mean, I hadn’t told her that, but I was curious enough to ask. And as everyone and their grandmother might have guessed by now, it was hers.

Somehow (and I truly don’t know HOW), we got into the habit of talking every day, or at least very close to it. I got to know about her daily life, just one state south from where I live and sooooo much colder than what I had ever experienced. She went to a swiss school, fully bilingual, was the first in her year in the IB program which for the love of crap I didn’t even know it existed back then. Might not ever have known if I never met her. Eventually we exchanged phone numbers, and back then SMS messages were like 1,50 bucks for inter-state ones. Our mothers were not happy.

Around a year and a half went by this way. She became my best friend, my rock. We both had a shitton of problems in your high school lives and in our family lives, and we were so relieved to know there was someone out there we could share those with. In the meantime she ended up breaking up with her boyfriend, ironically just a few months before I had my very first kiss. When she broke up with her boyfriend she was absolutely devastated (they had been together almost a year or so), and relied on me a lot back then. Which I was more than happy to support because for the first time in my life I felt like I belonged somewhere. I felt like I was actually part of someone’s life. I didn’t feel like I ever bothered her, like I was ever intruding in her life. I felt like I was truly part of her world, like she actually remembered my existence when I was not around, and at now-16 years of age that had literally been the first time I had felt that. I never had a true friend before her. Not sure I ever did after her either.

On easter 2008 we finally convinced our moms to let us meet. Her family had a whole goddamn country house with a huge plot of land, so it was decided I was gonna visit her first. So I got semi-sedated and got into my first plane ride EVER, and for those of you that are reading this and know me (although I doubt anyone is reading at all), you know how terrified of planes I am. You know how BIG of a gesture it is for me to get into a fucking plane for the first time in my life for a person.

I already knew she was pretty. I mean, we had talked on the webcam a couple of times before (just a few times because the internet back then was really terrible). The blue eyes I mentioned, and the most fucking beautiful silky blonde hair you’ve ever seen. But when I saw her the first time on that airport it still took my breath away. Even more, what truly surprised me, was the huge smile she gave as soon as she saw me out of the gate and she rushed to hug me. I was paralyzed. I mean yes I was happy and hugged her back, which was a huge deal because back then I was not touchy feely at all (and she was VERY). But I was paralyzed. Because I had never in my entire 16 years of age seen anyone smile that big or that brightly at seeing me. Hell, I suppose I had never seen anyone smile that brightly at all. As the day progressed she was so legit happy that I was there, and I could never fully wrap my head around it. We drove to her house and her mom took the long way just so they could show me all the interesting spots in her city, and she shared tidbits of her daily life that I still didn’t know, despite us being so close, because those are the things you only learn by actually being next to the person irl. Later on she introduced me to her two best friends in school, and we all decided to watch a horror movie.

Yes, it’s THAT cliche.

Now, you see, I’m absolutely fucking impervious to horror movies. Yes I get jumpscared just as much as anyone else, but I don’t get scared. So I was sitting there a bit lowkey bored, narrating the entire plot of the movie and what would happen a few scenes before it did because the movie was just that easy to guess. And she had taken complete ownership of my left arm the entire time, being half super scared and half impressed I could guess every single thing on the plot. Later on she apologized for not letting go of my arm because she knew I wasn’t as touchy feely as she was, and I was once again taken aback because I come from a ridiculously touchy-feely country and NO ONE ever apologizes for it or respects my boundaries on it.

The next day we wake up bright and early to go to her ranch-thingy. She slept on top of me on the car almost all the way there. I must have woken up like a whole hour before her but didn’t move at all.

I’m a city slick. I’m a huge city slick, through and through. Which means I am both fascinated and absolutely terrified on any plot of grass bigger than a garden. And her country house was fucking amazing. I had only experienced the true freedom of being in nature a few times in my life, and she made sure to show me every nook and crane of the forest surrounding it. Because yes it was a forest and not a jungle like where I lived, and that made it all the more magical.

But the truly one magical thing in the entire 4-days weekend was the stars. You see, I am absolutely in love with the stars. It’s stupid to say something like this when I was retelling the greatest love story of my life, but the stars are my one true love. I got my first telescope when I was five years old. My mother cannot for the life of her explain where I got this obsession from. She always said I was already born that way. So I find myself for the first time in my life with the least amount of light pollution I’ve ever been subject to in my entire life (even nowadays). For the first time in my life I has actually been able to see the Milky Way with my own two eyes. And what made everything even more impressive was that it was a full moon, and the night sky still looked as incredible as it’s supposed to look. Honestly it might have been a great contender to the beauty of her blue eyes.

The moment I remember the most is us laying down on some beach towels (no idea why they had those in the countryside), stargazing for hours at end. By then we were two full states to the south of mine, so I believe the technical definition of what I was feeling is fucking freezing my inexistent balls off. I had gotten dressed in just some jeans and a tshirt way before the sun set, and I was dammed if I was gonna interrupt our stargazing to go put on some decent clothes. I remember her asking a few times if I was cold, and I also remember myself lying through my teeth saying I had gotten used to it by then. Blatant lies, my nipples could cut through fucking glass at the moment. But I wasn’t gonna interrupt it because it was just the two of us on a grassy clearing, her family was at least 200m away and we couldn't even hear them anymore and it was just us and the stars and her hands were so close to mine that I could feel the heat (the only source of it for my beach-town ass I suppose). It was the perfect fucking moment. The moment most people dream of having their entire lives. I have no idea how long we stayed there, but it was a few hours for sure. Her mom had to call us back inside, and nothing broke my heart more. We talked about anything and everything. I told her what I knew of astronomy and I could see for the first time I was fascinating her with knowledge. Because I had always felt and will always feel like a peasant in the presence of a princess when it comes to her. With how cultured and educated and just fucking smart she always had been. But as I told her of the constellations (sometimes grabbing her hand to point to the stars and make her spot them better), and proclaimed my love for the night sky, she listened. She listened and I had never felt heard before in my life. She listened and I felt I had managed to make her fall in love with the stars a little bit by just talking about them.

She listened and I felt I had managed to make myself fall in love in her a little bit by just seeing the way she looked at me as I talked.

All good things come to an end and time had come for me to go back home. I will never forget how she hugged me goodbye on that same airport. Where I had seen the brightest smile on my life and now I could see she was holding back tears for me. Because I was leaving. I was important enough in someone’s life that they were about to cry because I wasn’t going to be around anymore. She way she whispered “I’m gonna miss you so much” on my ear, on such a low note I am sure it was just so her mother wouldn’t hear her, and her voice will haunt me for the rest of my life. She told me a few days later that she did cry on her way to school that morning.

After this it was near impossible to not be with her at all times. We texted constantly, and used to talk like 2 whole hours on the phone before bed. Once again I must remind you this was 2008 so it was no cheap business. Her mother started to try to separate us a bit, insisting she didn’t contact me as much, even tho I was sure the one who could not afford those phone bills, not her. It all culminated on what was ironically (or perhaps planned by her mother?) brazilian Valentine’s day (we are the only country in the world that celebrates in on St. Anthony’s day, which is June 12th). It was the first day in almost two years we didn’t talk at all, because of how much her mother had nagged her about it. The next day we talked as if we had been separated by a war for a decade.

I’m gonna take a break here to let everyone know that no, I did not think I was in love with her back then. I don’t think she knew either, but it’s hard to tell.

Her mother planned her entire july winter break to the minute just so she could spend the least amount of time in my house as possible. We got 5 days instead of the previous 4. But her mother came up with a ridiculous amount of trips for the family. She visit 3 different countries (and a whole different state inside her own country) within 30 fucking days. That’s how bad it had gotten then. Our SMSs had to be cut down to just two or three a day because of it.

But it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter because when she arrived at my house (her family had insisted in meeting mine before letting her stay) I was able to see from three floors up how brightly she had smiled at seeing me again.

I’ll make this part short: we stayed cooped inside blankets the entire time, playing on my PS2. It was so ridiculous that my mom, maaaany years later, told me she usually left the house for hours at time just to give us an opportunity of finally doing something about our very obvious feelings. Unlike the trip we took to her ranch, this one was filled with 3am deep existencial talks. And unlike the other trip, we spent the whole time sleeping on the same bed. Not a whole lot happened other than us dancing around the obvious feelings and how to deal with being so close to each other.

Nothing beside the very last morning together. I remember always waking up after her, because that’s just how we were. I remember she was already up, reading this book in fucking german of all things. It had been the first day of the entire week we had a meager ray of sunshine. And the way my window and ourselves were positioned, the sun was shinning directly on her. I woke up to the vision of an angel. I had never seen hair in such a warm bright color. I had never seen eyes that were the living embodiment of a spring afternoon sky. I woke up and her propped up on a couple of pillows, reading under the weak morning sun was the first thing I saw. It was the first thing I saw and I could swear I was still dreaming.

Because for the first time in all this, I could not contain and muffle the voice inside my head that was screaming: I want to wake up next to this every single day for the rest of my life.

It was the last time I woke up next to her for the rest of my life.

To my credit I did shake off my daze from the sight quite fast. I had gotten so good to drowning out these feelings that I was great at putting my poker face back up. We talked, we had breakfast, we let ourselves feel a bit sad about her leaving.

Then, just about half an hour before we actually had to go shower to take her to the station, it happened. The one moment that made me feel confident this all wasn’t just in my head. It all wasn’t just wishful thinking of a lonely pathetic girl who got way too bullied in high school.

We were having an impromptu pillow fight cause why not. That’s how girls who are secretly in love handle their feelings after all. It’s universal I think. And, well, on the overall 9 days we spent together irl I never actually beat her once because I’m just that much of a noddle. But this one fight we were both in bed, with weak footing and etc. You can see where this is going.

So on a scene to rival any anime, or that one gif of girls playing handball that fall on top of each other, she fell on top of me. Well, did she fall? I don’t know. For all I know, she planned.

And we had the moment. The gaze. Those few indescribable seconds of your life that you’re always gonna remember like yesterday, no matter how old you get. She had each of my hands pinned to the side of my head, and at first I thought we were still fighting so I just struggled and laughed and was saying stuff like “get off me ya psycho!”. But then I looked up. I looked up and.

And then I felt it. I felt everything her eyes were telling me. She wasn’t playing with me anymore. She was staring at me as if she already knew it was going to be the last time. She was staring at me as if it was a love story because it was. She was staring at me as if her entire existence, as if the whole oxygen on the earth itself depending on my presence.

She was staring at me like I has never been looked at before, or since. Even with a 3-years long relationship I had muuuch later on. No one had never, or will ever, look at me the way she looked at me.

And I froze. I froze because I had no idea what else to do. I froze because inside my head back then this was still wrong. Girls should not kiss. Girls should never kiss.

It was wrong.

It was so wrong, but nothing, not a single piece of bigot ramble ever uttered in history would make me feel more scared than losing my best friend. Nothing in the world scared me more than losing her.

Could I cross this boundary? Did she want to? Or was it just a spur on the moment thing?

But then she stared at my lips and I could not help but lick my own. Out of instinct, out of craving, out of love.

To the risk of getting an angry mob to my house right now, no, we did not kiss.

In fact, I dont quite remember the next few seconds at all. It had been single the most intense moment in my life at this point. It is still one of the most intense moments I’ve ever experienced. I completely blanked out of how I actually got pulled out of it and back into the land of living. Next thing I know we are sitting on opposite sides of the bed, trying to move away from the awkwardness. We did manage, in a couple of minutes. and things went back to normal between us.

But things would never be back to normal within me.

I’m gonna take a pause here to point out I’m bisexual. So like every bisexual, I am a very confused person. Cause you see, the moment you figure out you're bisexual it’s so much more confusing than figuring out you're fully homosexual. Because in the moment, things don’t just click. Things dont just start to magically make sense. I was 16 and I had absolutely liked guys before. Was it with this intensity? No because I was fucking 16. She was the first person I was been truly in love with. But I know it in my soul that if she was a dude I would love her with the exact same intensity. This particular discourse took me another three years to solve, but I digress.

And then she left.

She left and, like I said, her mother had programed her entire july milimetrically so we could be as far apart as possible. She left my house straight back to her ranch, not even her own house, And they have no internet there, so no MSN. Just a single 30-minutes phone call a day, for the 4 days after we had spent the entire week cooped up in bed inside blankets and playing lame-ass RPGs. And then right after that she left for germany for two full weeks. But before that particular trip, she did manage to get home. She got home to a letter of her grandma that read...

Well to be honest I cannot tell you what it read exactly. Because she was extremely vague about it when telling me. But it was enough to destroy her. It was enough to make her think that her grandma would not want anything to do with her anymore and it was based off somewhat new events. It doesn’t take a fucking genius to figure out the full contents of the letter. Her family is from the brazilian Bible Belt. But back then, at 16, confused as fuck, and already preemptively heartbroken, I legit had no idea what it said. She was vague and I didn’t want to pry. I just wanted to make her stop crying. I just wanted to put that beautiful smile back in her face but on that day I could feel her slipping away for the first time.

The rest of the story takes place in just a bit under two months. Maybe 6 weeks at most.

She goes to germany and finds a boyfriend, as one does. She leeches on this boy like a lifeline, but never stops texting me our 3 international texts we were allowed daily. In fact, the first thing she did after kissing him was pulling off her phone as texting me.

You can imagine how well this guy takes it.

Now, she goes back to brasil and this guy actually lives somewhat close to her. It’s a doable relationship. Once they both have access to internet and MSN again, and she is fast to introduce us, so happy that both of the most important people in her life are meeting. Even tho they had been together for like 3 weeks at this point.

I’m ok with it because, well, I still hadn’t figured myself out. I know no one will believe this, but I honestly did not feel jealousy. In fact, it was almost relief. Relief that I would not need to look into my feelings any further than I had back in july. I was happy for her. She seemed genuinely happy with this guy, and so was I.

And then Independence Day weekend comes and hell starts to... well, not break loose, but certainly get weaker on the seams. In here Independence Day is on September 7th, but both on my city and hers there's a city holiday on the 8th. On that year it ended up getting us a 4-day weekend again, and obviously I thought I was the one who was gonna be invited to visit her. I has been counting on it, planning for it.

Two weeks or so before that she informs me that she wants to invite her boyfriend over instead of it, which is like. Ok. Fair. But for the first time in this entire story I felt jealousy. Because that ranch, those stars, that sky... it was our place. I did not wanna share those experiences I had with her with anyone else. But I kept quiet of course, because how could I not? I tell her “yeah it’s a bit upsetting because I was hopping we could see each other, but I am genuinely happy you get to spend time with him!”

She ghosts me in that week.

To this day, 12 years and 2 months later, I do not know why. I do not know how. I know her grandma called again when she learned the boyfriend was gonna come over and not me, but that’s all.

She ghosted me before ghosting was even a thing. So I had no other social parameter to deal with the situation. I will never forget the absolutely heart wrenching pain I felt when I figured out she had blocked me on MSN. It’s indescribable.

It’s indescribable because she was the first person I felt like actually gave a flying fuck if I lived of died, if I was happy or if I cried. And she had up and decided to fucking cut me out her life without a single fucking word of explanation. One night everything was fine, we even had a group chat with her boyfriend. The next day she is gone forever. I don’t know, nor I think I will ever learn what triggered it. What was the last fucking draw, the last fucking prejudiced word directed at her that made her do it.

My world had been full of color, full of life, and even if literally everyone around me in real life would be so much happier if I didn’t exist (back then I DID NOT get along with my mother), she had seemed this entire time to be so much happier with me around. She was the one person who liked my existence. And literally overnight, I wake up and my world is empty. My world is empty and my air is missing and I don’t fucking know why.

It’s been 12 years and I still don’t know why.

Her boyfriend harassed me a bit back on orkut. Like, I have no idea why. It was unprompted. But it does give you a big fucking clue does it now?

I haven’t gotten a single word from her ever again. I know she’s alive, that’s not the fucking point of the story. I know because I tried to contact her again through every fucking means possible. I even sent her a letter of all things for fuck’s sake. When facebook came along I found her there too and sent her a message. Once 3 years after the fact, and then again 6 years after the fact. That was the last time I tried contacting her.

I cannot say I was “faithful”, so to speak. I cannot say she has been the only thing in my mind. I cannot say that I have not loved again, because I have. I had a serious 3-year relationship, as I mentioned. I had actual gay disasters stories in between. She has not remained the foremost thing in my mind. She has not remained my one true love. There were times where I spent months without thinking about her. Even silly crushes are enough to stray my thoughts away, to stray my heart away

But what worth are those times if I always go back to thinking of her as soon as I see myself without someone? What worth are those times where she is not in my mind, if she had never left my heart to begin with?

What worth is forgetting about her at times when she is my default setting?

I know what you're thinking. “you’re not in love with her, you’re in love with the idea of what could have been”. And you’re absolutely right. I know you are. I’m fully aware of it, of the implications of it, not only on my love life but my mental health.

But she has been the single most influential person in my life. She was the one that got me to writing. She was the one who made face my mother and have The Talk we needed for fucking 16 years about who my father was. Fuck, she is the sole responsible for setting my life on that path, and all the domino effect of events that happened because of the decision of talking to my mother about it. She was the one that made me figure out I was bisexual. Not a lesbian, definitively not straight, but not gay either. Bisexual, out and proud.

She was my first love.

She was my first love and she is the one that makes me give some credit to the saying “at the end of your life you will see you’ve fallen in love with the same person over and over again”.

She was my first love and she makes me go fucking crazy enough to give the whole “soulmates” concept a decent thought, because this cannot have been natural. Loneliness cannot explain the entire thing. It cannot explain how ridiculously drawn I was to her right away. Attraction doesn’t explain it either. It cannot explain how insanely synced up I’ve always felt to her. How insanely connected.

I’m not gonna lie, I loved my ex. Truly and deeply. They were the only person to ever treat me respect, and I felt almost as connected to them as I did to her. Almost.

If we are getting technical, I felt, like, 95% synced up with them. Which is more than the vast majority of humankind can only dream of feeling.

But it was not 100%.

There has only been one person in my life that I have felt 100% connected with. One person in my life I have not been able to shake away, have not been able to get over. Oh I have moved on. I have moved on and moved back in and then moved on again. Many times, over and over.

But I have not gotten over you. I will never get over you. What happened. How it ended. You were my biggest heartbreak. You were my biggest love story, and I didn’t even get to live it.

You make me so illogical that I sincerely hope there is a next life out there. One we can meet, sit down, and talk.

I’m sure you are a completely different person right now. I am a completely different person too. And it is insane, it is illogical, and it is immature to think that these two completely different people would still have any vestige of a thing in common like we did as kids. Because we were kids. We were kids and now we are both adults, and have a single damn thing changed?

A whole fuckton of them changed. Seasons changed. Years changed. The entire fucking world changed. I have changed more than you can possible imagine a person would in 12 years.

But you being the default setting of my heart has not changed. No matter how “unfaithful” I’ve been to you. No matter how much I will keep on living not being attached to you. No matter how much I know at some point I will forget you, forget this feeling, and bask into the pleasure of a new love. No matter how much at some point I will surely think “wow, what a crazy bitch I was back then, with all these feelings for a random girl who certainly doesn’t even remember I exist”.

And that’s one of my biggest fears you see. Cause for me you are half the fucking book. For me you’re the constant element that comes back when sea is calm and things are ok.

And I fear that to you I was nothing more than a line, maybe a throwaway paragraph in your life.

[staygoldaj]

Analysis on the MHA Girls

(Part I: Uraraka & Momo)

I know that the fandom tends to dislike these queens and push them aside, and I know Hori doesn't really know how to write women, but what he has given us is great and I wish the fans would appreciate these awesome ladies more. So here's an analysis for my girls, I wanna do an analysis on the three musketeers (broccoli, popcorn, & candy cane) so that'll be posted soon too :)

Uraraka

BEST. GIRL. I love Uraraka so much, she is the reason why I started watching MHA and she's such a sweetheart, I wish she wasn't so hated amongst the fandom.

We first meet her as this wholesome, bubbly girl who saves Midoriya from falling, and it's pretty clear that she's gonna be the main love interest. Honestly, I was a little disappointed during her first few scenes. Like I said, she was the reason why I started MHA, and she turns out to be the typical sweet girl the main dude has a crush on. I didn't have high hopes tbh. What first intrigued me was when she admits her reasons for becoming a hero. You would never expect the innocent girl-next-door love interest to be doing something for money. Even she herself says it's "such an unwholesome motivation" in comparison to Midoriya's and Iida's reasons, and she gets praised for "looking out for herself." This is the first misconception I see often on her character; she wants money for herself because she's poor. If you look into her reasons, she just wants to make money for her parents, not for her, so that her parents can take it easy. She is just as selfless as Midoriya and Kirishima, but I don't see her get praised for her selflessness nearly as much as for those two or other characters. I also really like the small flashback they included; her father tells her to not worry about them and to follow her dreams. Whether at the start Uraraka truly wanted to be a hero or solely did it for the money is up for interpretation. I personally think she started solely for the money, which I'll get into after I talk about the Sports Festival.

Uraraka vs. Bakugo is one of the most emotional fights in my opinion, and it's one of my favorites. EVERYONE in that stadium underestimated her. I'm not going to say that the reason was because she was a woman, but rather, Bakugo is pretty ruthless and powerful, where as she is not, and people knew that. The fact that she was a "small young girl" just added more fuel to that, if that makes sense. And this best girl did what she could to prove EVERYONE wrong. This is where Uraraka proves that she isn't a typical sweet shonen love interest and I wish people took notice in that. People think of ambitious, determined, driven, cunning, and powerful women as dark and mysterious, femme fatale so to speak. But this fight shows that Uraraka, a pretty extroverted, kind, and bubbly person, is all of those qualities, just as ambitious and determined as the strongest male characters in the show, such as Bakugo and Todoroki.

And when she loses the fight (after basically passing out btw, queen didn't stop until the very end), she doesn't just mope and quit and wait for encouraging words from her love interest, she 1. GIVES the encouraging words TO her love interest and 2. she understands that her quirk alone isn't going to be enough to get her to the top, so she carefully chooses a hero agency where she knows she will be taught combat, AND SHE LEARNS. The next time her class is attacked by villains, she single-handedly takes down one of the more dangerous members without a quirk, just with the fighting skills she took the time to learn.

Back to what I said earlier, Uraraka started her hero journey solely for money. This plays directly into her development in seasons 3 and 4, which is criminally underrated. She sees her entire class working harder than ever, and even though she's dealing with unfamiliar emotions, she decides to push those emotions aside to not fall behind, determined to be a good student and hero like her classmates. During the events at Shie Hassaikai, Uraraka finally learns the true environment a hero works in. Failing to save Nighteye, she realizes that what she truly wants for herself isn't money or Midoriya, it's being a hero who saves people. I believe Nighteye's death directly ties into the "who protects heroes when they need protection?" line. This recent chapter in the manga makes me think that she's gonna do something big and go through a character arc. I said this on Twitter and I'll say it here, I want Uraraka to become a hero who protects heroes (whatever that could mean, it has a nice ring to it lol). Honestly, her character has sm potential, I'm excited for what Horikoshi has in store for her.

Momo

God is a woman and that woman is Momo Yaoyorozu. I'm tired of people calling her annoying because of one episode, as if you've never had self-esteem problems before 🙄 so now I'm going to talk about why she's amazing 😋

My initial impression of Momo was the typical smart girl, stern, formal, and aloof, but still caring. And as I rewatch the series, I believe this is what Horikoshi was going for at first. I think her voice was deeper in the first season too. As much as I love the Erza type of characters, I love where Horikoshi ended up going with Momo. As a teenage girl, I find the arc she went through during season 2 very relatable. It's obvious that Momo was raised to have full confidence in herself. While she may not show it like Bakugo does, I think it's obvious that she's not used to losing, she was probably praised for having an amazing quirk growing up, like Bakugo, but is a way more humble about it because she was raised differently. So at the Sports Festival, she experiences losing, seemingly for the first time, in a place where she just can't afford to lose. But she does. And this takes a huge toll on her.

She's rich, pretty, the top student in class, and admired by her peers, but obviously that's not what mattered to Momo. What mattered to her most in that moment was looking good in front of agencies, what mattered most was to be a worthy hero, and she feels like she's failed. She seeks guidance from a female hero, hoping to have a female role model guide her through issues she has as a 15 year old girl, but instead finds herself being used for her looks. Again, Momo doesn't care about any of that, she just wants to be considered a worthy hero, and her defeat at the Sports Festival made her completely lose the confidence she needed to accomplish that goal.

Now we have the Yaoyorozu Rising episode. Fans who hate her often refer to this episode as "evidence for Todomomo", "her being annoying by not knowing what to do," etc. etc. etc. 🙄

I like Todomomo. It's a cute and healthy ship. There are WAY more Todomomo scenes, not in this episode. Todoroki is a side character in Momo's story in this episode. This episode is MOMO'S. Sorry but she’s not sharing the spotlight. I know that seems a little aggressive, sorry, but this episode shows a lot of development in Momo, and it just gets brushed off as Todomomo content when it's not. She did know what to do, btw, she has a plan. She didn't know how to communicate that. She didn't want to communicate that. She was scared that her plan wouldn't work. She was scared that she'd fail. All of that stems back to her defeat at the Sports Festival, she has lost a major amount of confidence, and Aizawa and Todoroki notice this. Aizawa even says that her actions are of a normal 15 year old girl's, and even though he wished to help her, he couldn't, so Todoroki does it in his place. This is something I notice about Momo that is one of the most relatable things I've ever seen in a teenage girl in not just shonen, anime but just in fiction in general: she knows she has a good plan, but she doesn't have confidence in it until someone else gives her the validation. Upon seeing that others trust her, she regains her confidence and fulfills her plans with excellency. She is a REALISTIC 15 YEAR OLD GIRL which is honestly SO refreshing to see in a work of fiction. It's what I love about her character: she represents many teenagers, girls, boys, and theys alike.

And yeah, it might've been annoying if she had stayed the "has good plans but only executes them if she gets the validation from others" type of character. But she doesn't. By season 3, she has shown a significant amount of growth. She is shown to be more of a leader now that she's more confident in herself, and she's still dealing with it (that one scene with Sero & Jiro 💀), but she's gotten a lot better after realizing her worth, after realizing the trust others have in her, after realizing that others see her as an intelligent leader. So in the forest, she quickly comes up with a plan and executes it quickly. Had she not done this, had she not thought and acted quickly, who knows how long it would've taken before the heroes found Bakugo.

Another thing I want to mention before I finish Momo's section- at the hospital, All Might calls her a worthy hero because of her actions. It was her inability to act quickly at the Sports Festival that made her doubt her worth, and it's her ability to act quickly that makes All Might see it. I think this plays a major role for her character, maybe why she ultimately decided to go on the mission to save Bakugo. She's gonna have some of the spotlight to herself during the Joint Training Battle.

I also want to mention something from the manga, if you don't want spoilers then don't read this part.

Some of Midnight's last words in the manga are "Yaoyorozu's going to make a fine leader someday," which shows how her peers and mentors alike notice her potential. Additionally, she proves this statement right by quickly coming up with a plan to stop Gigantomachia. I'm very excited to see how Momo develops into an even more inspiring leader as the manga continues.

[blackghost137]

Hello hello!! I come with lot of numbers lol 2, 5, 9, 11, 12, 15, also my playlist decided to play tomoshibi while I am doing this and now I am in my feels helppp I love them sm

Hiiii! I'm happy you came with lots of number^^ (tomoshibi is everything to a mtr fan😭)

2. Would you be 1gumi (Leader), 2gumi, or 3gumi?

Probably 3gumi, they all have different ways to live but can get along when they're together. (2gumi are just PRETTY i dont belong there lmao)

9. Would you embrace the public idolising you, or would you dislike it?

Uhh... i'm sorry but i'd dislike it a lot. I dont think people on their minds would idolize me but even if they did, it would make me feel bad because i dont think i'm worth it also i'd probably try to change my image and that would damage my mental health.

11. Which division member do you think you would be able to get along with the most?

I honestly think i'd vibe with mtr. Going to fishing together, helping hifumi with chores and shopping, conversing with sensei and doing his hair, helping doppo out in any way i can... (teleports to hypmic universe)

Other than mtr i think it's jirou, jyushi and dice. With jirou i can help his homework and we could just talk and hang out BECAUSE I LIKE HIM A LOT HE'S A GOOD BOY(+ talking shit and love about our lil bros seems cool) jyushi and i both like bands and i'd like it if he can teach me how to play guitar🥺 I want to be dice's lucky charm and go to gambling with him because i like watching gamble(dice you're not getting any money out of me because i'm broke too) also he's fun to be around i could probably treat him a meal and we could just chill or go to anywhere basically

12. Which division member do you think you would be able to get along with the least?

Rei. Does this need an explanation? He's creepy, i dont trust him with anything. And i dont think i'd appreciate to have jyuto's company irl...

15. How would you feel if you had to battle your favourite division?

This got me thinking a lot. As a not part of battle i'd like to go against them tbh (they're so powerful as a team... i want to try myself)

But if it's a battle... i'm crying ok dont force me to battle with matenrou. Imagining i put physical damage on them (even via mics) IT HURTS. And i'd like it if my comfort characters didnt beat me with their words lol (but doppo if you're going to feel better you can use berserker on me)

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Ok first things first your Kaiser comment is really hilarious what the hell was ness thinking with that cut?????

LMAOO you’ve got this!! But honestly reading work that’s written with motivation and care is soooo much better than reading something forced so don’t sweat it too much! I sure everyone understands that writing actually takes quite a bit of effort and time and thinking and that reading your quality work will be so worth it (insert the head nod emoji here because I can’t find it fast enough) nagi vibes are so real though but trust your five shot revolver volley (or something like that name) moment coming soon

Yeahhhh idk the only conflict that really comes to mind is “aw shit I’m gonna be fired”/“im not paid enough for this shit” LMAOOO I guess that’s also the reason why a lot of fics I’ve seen are also set outside of the main events of bllk! Like usually when they’re already pro etc or for some characters who have enough backstory details about their stories before bllk then it’s set pre-bllk!

Hair down zantetsu>>>> I was actually shocked when I saw that scene of him in the movie like zantetsu pls let down your hair and take off your goggles we know you don’t need them….

The way you just so accurately described the entire Ubers dynamic LMAOO I also could not care less about sendou soooooo but it’s giving me the same vibes as the colored scene of them all helping Barou dye his hair I love the Ubers dynamic…I bet it working out gives aiku such an ego boost and he’s probably all like “see I’m right you all just don’t get bitches” completely forgetting that Niko is 15 and these are also soccer losers

Nooo because the few times I have to trek into Reddit territory to find a chapter link or something I see the dudebros collectively hating on him or using the fact that his parents trained him since he was young to try and minimize/discredit his “feats” (as they say in dudebro land)

White butterfly is just tear inducing LMAO that scene has me in my feels like bro…..the first thing he does after he goes pro and makes money is builds his childhood friend/love’s dream house SHSGSHS goodbye.

PLS you’re always on the grind omg that’s actually crazy LOL but no I think the whole fandom needs to be wiped and then shown seabird so they can ingrain this version of saw into their brains…maybe that’s the strat…right as s2 comes out we blast fwtkac bfb and lowk just your masterlist so people go “OHHHH that’s how they are” and the fanon version establishes itself as a much more accurate (imo) version that it otherwise would’ve…

AIKU WINGMEN SERIES GUYS WE WON based on what we’ve talked about this already sounds like sm fun to read I will most definitely be at the launch party…also SAE that’s crazy I lowk forgot they were on the same team for u20 for a sec but now that I realize it that makes sense LMAO

LMAOOO you’d have your own fwtkac moment where you get shown on the jumbotron and then have edits made of you and I’ll be scrolling through tiktok like guys that’s Mira…I know her lore..!!!

NOO YOU DESERVE IT honestly your writing output is some of the best I’ve seen in a while so idk what you’re talking about LOL Curious to see what even you decide on though!! I’ve seen some cute ones with like themed codes and whatnot from other writers before too so I bet your take will be fire!

- Karasu anon

no because ACTUALLY like bro was clearly not destined to be a barber 😭 honestly kaiser’s hair pre-cut when it was all shaggy and gold was rlly gorgeous i would like him more if he kept it like that or if he just tied it back or smth ☝🏻 but instead we got…wtvr the fuck he has going on 😰

HEHE no because i even have in my rules that i’ll probably take a while to respond and might ignore requests so people know what they’re getting into to but that doesn’t stop me from feeling bad yk?? sadly i am a chronic people pleaser 😓 but anyways YESS super goal coming up soon 🤭 jkjk i think the next ones are going to be short and simple because of the nature of the request so don’t expect any long ones for a bit!! but then again yk me so we’ll see (although tbf most of my requests have stayed generally within projected wc ranges the only ones to escape containment were seabird and the third part of fwtkac)

literally like it would def be a lot more comedic than anything but i save my comedy for the one shots longfics are angst ONLY /j also wait idk if you saw the most recent jjk leaks but i think i canonically killed off more characters in pomegranate ink than gege did in jjk which is CRAZYYY like i thought i was being fairly lenient 😭

hair down zantetsu is literally every shoujo male lead i need a fic where reo gives him a makeover or smth so he can truly shine LMAOAO i just know reo would have sm fun w that too

aiku’s like “all in a day’s work 🙂‍↕️😌” once barou gets a gf and then he thinks being a wingman is so fun that he tries to set up his other teammates w girls but lorenzo scares all of them away, aryu is uhh aryu and sendou is doing fine on his own so his only option is niko but niko is so introverted that he HATES “big bro aiku” helping out LMAOAOA like aiku becomes one of these rlly pushy uncles who goes up to every girl and is like “look at my nephew isn’t he so handsome” meanwhile niko is DYING of embarrassment…eventually mommy barou has to step in and tell aiku to leave niko alone 😭

on the one hand i get it because hiori is sometimes very overhyped in the sense that compared to charles and sae (and honestly even reo) he’s not the BEST midfielder oat in bllk but charles is considered a prodigy by even loki, sae is a ng11, and reo is canonically perfect so that’s not even saying much + he’s only really been active/awakened since the ubers game so with time he’ll probably improve!! he’s another one of those characters where there’s very few people who see the medium and don’t glaze him but don’t hate him either ykwim

THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYINGGG IT’S DISGUSTING like wdym you finally became rich and famous and instead of reaping the benefits you move back to a random town in the middle of nowhere and build a house for a girl who doesn’t even live there anymore just because you loved her so much?? in a way i think that even if reader had moved on or never came back just having that house was how hiori affirmed to the world that he loved her if that makes sense…like it was as much a confession to her as it was him making it clear to everyone that he wouldn’t ever be taken from her again if she still wanted him 😭 bitches when reader wanted to be a bird so she could fly everywhere but instead of being a bird with her and staying by her side like he wanted to hiori realized she needed a field (a home) to come back to so he just settled down and waited for her until she did because he loved her enough not to find her when he didn’t know if she wanted to be found 😭😓😫 i’m bitches fr

LMAAOAOO the grind is too real but omg i will be so happy if bfb freaky friday fwtkac loserboys karasu and otoya become fanon even though they’re already being written mostly as fboys in other works 😩 like okay ykw i even get otoya but wdym karasu is a player 😕 my man would NEVER have a one night stand he’s way too sensitive and gentle for that

AIKU WINGMAN SERIES INDEED OMG i’m so hype the for the barou and otoya versions especially because i already have ideas for them…i think the sae one is just going to be aiku being like “bro you’re in love with her” and sae’s like “no 😒” and it just goes on and on until sae is like “oh shit i AM in love with her” LMAOAO still pondering what i’ll do for karasu yukimiya and nagi but trust it will happen and it’ll be funny

LMAOOO MIRA EDITS i’ll be in my fwtkac era but without the crow 🙁 no soccer player irl could compare to karasu 💔 it’ll just be five ways to kill a soccer player which is nowhere near as fun and exciting…oh well we sacrifice what we must

AHAHA THANK YOU SMMM i meant more that i only post fics 5% of the time the rest is me dropping random thoughts answering asks chatting w people and reblogging fanart so people who follow me off of my fics are probably like WTF KSJSKKS okay wait hear me out a bird theme could lowkey go crazy…considering i am a #birdstan…anyways we’ll see there’s still a bit until I reach that point!! although ngl it might be faster if i actually post requests 😭

[zukoshotleafjuice]

The funniest thing about june teasing katara and zuko about being a couple is that she just sees a pretty girl and an attractive guy, both looking almost the same age which immediately makes her go "you two must be a couple" and it just reminds me of zvtara shippers, you know what i mean? I'm convinced one of the reasons a lot of ppl ship them is bc of their looks. katara being the female protagonist and also a pretty, smart and powerful girl & zuko, despite not being the male protagonist, being the most attractive guy in the gaang. Boom, a "bomb ass ship". It is worth to recall that "people ship zutara bc they projected onto katara and had a crush on zuko". And if they say they don't ship them for that reason, then it's bc they read too much between the lines in every interaction they have. So, back to june, she didn't even care if they had chemistry or if they were friends or anything, she just straight up teased them about being a couple lmao. Because in all honesty zvtara can be an appealing ship in anyone's eyes but THAT'S IT, it doesn't go further than that. I can be testimony of that😅Before even watching the show i was like june, one day i saw a zk fanart and was like "wow aren't those zuko and katara from atla? They look so good, she's gorgeous and he's hot" i already knew kataang was endgame and that mai was zuko's love interest but seeing zuko and katara together was pleasing to my eyes. However once i watched the show for the first time (2 months ago i think) i realized there was really no romantic chemistry between them, nothing, literally nothing, i mean, i wasn't even waiting for the zvtara content in the show that made ppl ship them so much, i was actually very neutral about ships, i couldn't care less about them, but i still realized nothing was happenig between them and that it was obvious since book 1 ep 1 that kataang was endgame. Zuko and katara were two teenagers from opposite sides of a war that tried to kill each other multiple times and when zuko changed sides they developed a completely platonic relationship. As i said, people either ship them because it's an appealing and aesthetically pleasing ship (water/fire, enemies to lovers, opposites attract, the common red & blue ship) or they just love reading too much between the lines, OR BOTH, because they were so thirsty about it they ended up convincing themselves there was romantic tension between them, that they liked each other and that zvtara was scrapped when it was never planned in the first place. Not to mention the reasons why they claim zvtara should've been endgame are based only on symbolism and things they have in common that are just so ??? Random. e.g. (i saw these on a post on facebook and the comment section was hilarious, it was full of ppl being sarcastic about it & making fun of it) saying they should've been canon bc:

1. "They both lost their mothers at a young age" (?)

2. "katara was good but had rage in her heart and zuko was bad but had good in his heart so it was like yin and yang, and that was the main purpose/topic of the show" (?)

3. "they both had alter egos (painted lady and blue spirit)" (???) this one sounds like saying maiko was canon bc zuko worked in a tea shop and mai worked in a flower shop😂

4. "Zuko was the only one who supported katara in taking revenge on her mom's assassin" (?) if you ask me, that just proves zuko is not right for katara, he led her to do something she was gonna regret later (not trying to hate on zuko, i love him, and since i love him i acknowledge his flaws. I understand why he thought it was the best thing to do, he's an impulsive and resentful boy (he would've done the same if it was his mom) and he noticed how thirsty katara was for revenge, ofc he wanted to help her + he wanted her to accept him and thought it was the right thing to do in order to gain her trust, but it wasn't) unlike zuko, aang tried to make katara come to her senses and do the thing that was best for her: forgive and let go, and it was basically what she did at the end. She didn't do what zuko expected her to do. She did what aang expected her to do. She didn't forgive her mom's assassin, but she forgave zuko, and she didn't do THAT thing she (and aang) knew would regret later. Aang knew katara and what was the best thing for her to do.

5. and the most ridiculous one, "they both saved each other's lives in the final agni kai"(???????) and the funniest part is that it was followed by "WHAT MORE PROOFS DO YOU WANT???". Honestly wtf did ppl expect? Did they expect zuko to stand there and watch katara die? Did they expect katara to just stand there and watch zuko lay on the floor & die? And this has been said a million times and i am going to join and say it once again: zuko would've done that for ANYONE from the gaang, he would've done the same for toph, sokka, suki and aang. Because he learned to care about them. As for katara, she would've done that for anyone too wtf she healed aang once too and even brought him back to life. (I wouldn't be surprised if zk shippers used that as a parallel for romantic zvtara proof bc they're just like that💀)

There were more "reasons" but they're just so stupid and taken out of context like "they care for each other" & "katara was the one who encouraged him to talk to his uncle" like yeah that's what friends do. Basically all zvtara shippers do is REACH.

Also, i just can't see it happening. I like the enemies to lovers trope, maybe if the writers really intended to make it canon, i would have been down for the ship, it would've been interesting to see how it developed, but,, they didn't, and later i came to the realization that if it would've really happened, it would've been so... weird. Time to bring up the "colonized and colonizer ship" and how some ppl feel uncomfortable about it. Besides the fact that a relationship between zuko and katara wouldn't have worked (they're incompatible af, katara is a girl with a strong character and zuko is a guy with anger issues that takes everything personal, they'd be at each other's throats 99% of the time) it's just weird to think that katara would choose to marry a man from the fire nation, the nation that caused a big war that traumatized her, the nation that took her mother away from her. Imagine katara ruling along with zuko a nation she despised for years. Fire lady katara doesn't sit right with me, and i'm sure it doesn't sit right with a lot of ppl as well. I don't see katara doing that, and yes, i know she forgave zuko, but still, she would've never done that 🤦🏽‍♀️ i think it would've been so OOC tbh.

Another thing i laugh my ass off at is when they say "zuko should've chosen katara instead of mai" as if they were ever in a relationship for zuko to say "ok imma choose katara i wanna be with her". As if katara was EVER an option for him. They never showed interest in each other, what's not clicking?????? And zuko only had eyes for mai, not to mention that despite zuko and mai had a rough relationship, no girl would've dealed with zuko's bs better than mai. Can you imagine katara dealing with zuko blowing up over everything? Because i can't. Also people saying things like "zuko deserves someone who is always there for him and listens to him" (and ofc they're talking about katara) like, ok, you hate that katara is aang's "therapist" but you want her to be zuko's therapist. Logic? Where? And I do remember mai being a supportive gf and trying to cheer him up multiple times. Did they watch the same show as me?

Zvtarians try to play the victims about how they were "robbed" bc some voice actors shipped them and from what i've read people who worked for the show suggested to go for zk, but that's stupid, it doesn't count as "they planned it but scrapped it, we were robbed". The only word that counts are the creators' voice and they have stated they were always rooting for kataang, so no, you were not robbed.

People are just so in love with the idea of zuko and katara together they really convinced themselves it was likely to happen. Honestly zvtara it's a fine ship as fanon but ppl ruined it for me and what i hate the most is when they ship it and hate on aang and mai at the same time and make them look SO bad to invalidate kataang and maiko. Saying aang is abusive and mai is toxic is complete ✨bullshit✨ and lastly, it's ridiculous when they say the creators were cowards for not making it canon. They're cowards for not fulfilling your greatest childhood wish? Something they never planned? It is THEIR show. If you hate sm how things turned out then quit atla once and for all and go find another show that you know is gonna give you what you expect,,, it's tiring that they've been crying about it for 15 yrs , like, i joined the fandom recently but i can imagine how tired old atla fans must be of this.

OK so I have a lot of thoughts about this and firstly,,,anon I appreciate the dedication that it took for you to write  this, and I agree with many of your points. However, the attitude I have on this blog towards Avatar ships is far more neutral than what you’re saying.

Ultimately, romance is not and never was the focus of Avatar. Romantic development was always secondary or tertiary plot, and the entire show was far more focused on platonic relationship development. My attitude towards shippers on here - including Zutara shippers - is that people can ship what they want, as long as they’re respectful of each other and of the other characters that “interfere” with their ship. End of the day, shipping is irrelevant to the core of the show. 

People shipping something because they find it aesthetically appealing is honestly,,,fine. Personally, I think it’s reductionist, but I don’t care if you do because everyone has the right to enjoy media however they want to. 

That being said, we absolutely should call out racist or problematic tropes that we see, including ‘fire lady katara”. I also agree that it’s upsetting when people bash other characters in order to further their ship, as much of the bashing is also pretty racist and/or misogynistic. Calling that out, however, is separate from calling out every single person who happens to enjoy certain ships. 

“She didn't do what zuko expected her to do. She did what aang expected her to do. She didn't forgive her mom's assassin, but she forgave zuko, and she didn't do THAT thing she (and aang) knew would regret later. Aang knew katara and what was the best thing for her to do.”

I understand where you’re coming from, but I honestly disagree with this take. Both Aang and Zuko were approaching the situations from their own life experiences, but Katara didn’t do what either of the boys wanted. She chose her own path, by both sparing Yon Rha’s life but also refusing to forgive him. The episode is about Katara and her personal trauma and its focus should not be on her relationships with either Zuko or Aang. 

When I make posts such as this, it’s less about hating Z*tara and more about how this fandom focuses all its attention on romance and shipping, to the point where if you acknowledge a relationship’s importance it’s assumed you pair the two romantically. I don’t read Zuko and Katara’s relationship as romantic (for reasons that it would take too long to explain here), but their relationship development is extremely important, the two of them share tons of parallels and the final Agni Kai marks the culmination of both of their character arcs. Yes, Zuko would have taken the lightning for any of the characters, but it’s thematically important that it was Katara. None of this inherently means it’s romantic, but refusing to acknowledge the significance of the relationship between them is equally reductionist. 

This isn’t an attack on you, anon, and you’re 100% allowed to have negative feelings about a ship. But at the end of the day, it’s not worth getting this worked up over. If I were you I’d focus more on creating/consuming content for a ship you like than bashing ships you don’t!

[bltngames]

SAGE 2020: Fan Games

I’d hoped to have this article out a little bit sooner, but I overestimated how long it would take to write about some of these games. Whoops! Like I said when I outlined the posting “schedule” on the first day, we’re playing it fast and loose, so this is just what you get.

Today is the day I talk about fan games! And even though SAGE has “Sonic” right there in the acronym, it’s always hosted fan games from all types, so today we’ve got Mega Man, Mario, Rayman, and even fan games of fan games, if you can believe it.

Sonic Pinball Panic!

Pinball is one of those things where I’ve always been obsessed with it, but never very good at it. And now, with access to digital pinball collections like Pinball Arcade and Pinball FX, I don’t actually find myself playing as much pinball as I thought I would when I was 14 years old. Still, I find myself fascinated by a good pinball table, and this honestly caught me off guard. This could very easily be an official DLC release for one of those aforementioned pinball collections and I wouldn’t even bat an eyelash (in fact, if you ask me, this is better than Pinball FX, which has always had weird ball physics). This looks, sounds, and functions exactly like a real pinball table should. My complaints are minor: for starters, the table feels kind of easy. I’ve never been a pinball wizard, but I was losing balls left and right here and it still took a good 15 minutes before I finally got a game over. Score accumulation is also pretty slow; most pinball tables will dump millions and millions of points on you, but here, it felt like a struggle just to reach the 379k I finished with. Both contribute to the fact that the table feels a little flat, like it’s missing a spark to really put it over the top. And, third, it would be nice if it had controller support. The keyboard works just fine, here (it’s just pinball, after all) but I find that the triggers on a controller feel really good with pinball flippers, and mapping the plunger to the right stick is great, too. This is a Unity game, so I wouldn’t think it’d be that hard to hook it up to the controller mapper. Still, I came away impressed.

Mega Man: Perfect Blue

There are two things out there that always give me pause: fan-made Doom level packs, and Mega Man fan games. Fan made gaming content generally has problems when it comes to difficulty balancing anyway, but these games have earned a certain reputation for their difficulty, which creates a problem when you have content made by fans, for fans. This insularity means these things are usually way too hard for what I would consider “normal” people (read: casual fans and outsiders). Add on to the fact that I’d even say that there are official Mega Man games with bad difficulty balancing, and you have a recipe for frustration. Sadly, this is how I’d characterize Perfect Blue: though this introductory level isn’t impossibly hard, it’s definitely pushing that edge where it’s not very accommodating to someone who hasn’t played and finished every Classic Mega Man game ever made. It almost immediately throws you into scenarios where you have jumps you can barely reach, insta-kill spikes, and enemies that not only actively dodge your shots, but invincible enemies that launch counter attack homing missiles. And then it starts making you juggle all of this stuff, together, at the same time. None of this is insurmountable as long as you’re paying attention, but as a very casual Mega Man fan, it’s an unfriendly first impression and makes me worried about what the rest of the game is going to be like as the challenge naturally ramps up. For those hardcore Mega Man fans among you, the rest of this is solid, at least. The presentation and controls are excellent, and the new sprites are beautiful. It’s a game I’d love to enjoy when it’s done… but I’m assuming I’ll be left out in the cold. A shame, really, because there’s so much promise here.

Sonic and the Mayhem Master

There’s a lot to like about this game, but there’s a part of me that really wonders if this should even be considered a Sonic fan game. Mayhem Master’s depictions of Sonic and Amy Rose are atypical to put it mildly. Here, Sonic seems to be a bookish nerd of sorts, a sidekick to Amy Rose, who has been turned into a burnt out, cigar-smoking detective. Most of the game plays out as half an adventure game, half an RPG, where you roam around the world talking to NPCs and gather clues while being assaulted by random battles. The battle system is super off-the-wall, too, perhaps taking inspirations from games like Mario & Luigi and Undertale. This means that battles aren’t passive -- you spend most of each fight dodging or nullifying incoming attacks with simplistic action-based commands. It’s weird, and different, and occasionally even a little bit overwhelming. That’s kind of the whole game, really. It’s the sort of thing that really doesn’t feel like a Sonic game at all, but it also doesn’t feel bad. The artwork is very charming, I’m interested in seeing the characters develop, and there’s plenty of worldbuilding and mystery. Would this still be as intriguing if you removed the Sonic connection, even if it’s so threadbare? That’s a hard question to answer. I know that some of my interest in this game is seeing how it spins more familiar Sonic elements into something that’s completely different. Worth checking out, for curiosity’s sake if nothing else.

Sonic and the Dreamcatcher

This is a fairly brilliant little game with two unfortunate quirks. If you didn’t know, the special stages in the original Sonic the Hedgehog were inspired by an arcade game of the era called Cameltry, published by Taito in 1989. Now, Sonic’s special stages were different enough from Cameltry that it wasn’t a case of Sega outright stealing the gameplay, but there’s a clear lineage there, and it only becomes clearer when you compare the special stages in Sonic 4 Episode 1 to Cameltry (spoilers: in that game, they’re nearly identical). Dreamcatcher is also from this lineage, but is infinitely more charming than either Sonic 4 and maybe even Cameltry itself. The idea is that you must collect a specific number of blue spheres in order to reveal the Chaos Emerald, after which you have a limited amount of time to find and collect it. It’s very simple, but the presentation really sells the game’s charm. It’s just a game that looks good and sounds good, with an interesting premise executed very well. Also, you get a dedicated “& Knuckles” button to spawn infinite Knuckles to help you collect blue spheres and bash enemies. Being able to have unlimited numbers of these guys sounds like it would break the game, but once that countdown clock begins, the last thing you need is 20+ echidnas clogging up the route back to the emerald. The first quirk this game suffers from is that there’s only two levels. Parts of this have a very “game jam made in a weekend” vibe to it despite the rock-solid music, sound, and gameplay, and only having two levels contributes to that. Hopefully more are coming in the future. The other quirk? You can’t actually download this game -- it’s embedded in a webpage. I’m sure this is to make it easy to play on any platform with a web browser (phones, PCs, etc.) but I find myself greatly desiring a hard copy of this game that can live on my computer forever.

Sonic Galactic

Now here’s just a good old fashioned Sonic fan game. Though it clearly takes inspiration from Sonic Mania’s aesthetics in some places, it’s clearly doing its own thing, featuring not just the core cast of Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles, but also Fang the Sniper, and even a brand new character named Tunnel the Mole. Unlike a lot of Sonic fan games at SAGE, this appears to be using something besides Clickteam Fusion, Game Maker, or Unity. Here, it’s the “Hatch Game Engine,” whatever that is. Whatever the case may be, the game runs very well and is basically indistinguishable from just playing Sonic Mania. Visuals are sharp, music’s good, the two included boss fights are surprisingly fun to fight -- everything seems to be in order. As a result, there’s not really a lot to say. This is just a good, fun game. Anything else I’d say would come off sounding like nitpicks. For example, there’s no way to set graphics options yet, so the game is stuck in 2x Windowed mode. Fang and Tunnel are cute additions, but I wonder how much utility they have as characters. Unless I missed something, Fang’s pop gun is mainly for a weak double-jump ability, and Tunnel’s ability to dig and ricochet off floors, walls and ceilings is cool, but it doesn’t have quite the universal utility of Tails’ flight or Knuckles climbing and gliding. It’ll be interesting to see how or maybe even if their abilities have a chance to grow into something special. Anyway, like I said, those are nitpicks, so try to give this a shot if you can.

Sonic Robo-Blast!

Remasters seem to be a bit of a theme this SAGE, between Sonic Triple Trouble 16-bit, Sonic 2 SMS, Sonic 1 Revisited, but this is perhaps the most surprising of them all: a loving remaster of the original Sonic Robo-Blast. SRB1 was perhaps one of the first true “landmark” fan games, given that it was basically a whole entire game that people could play. It's not a stretch to say that SRB1 probably helped kickstart the fan gaming community that still survives to this day -- I certainly owe my involvement in the community to seeing SRB1 for the first time. The problem is, as historically significant as the game might be, it’s nearly impossible to go back to nowadays -- it’s much, much too dated to be any fun. This remaster completely re-envisions SRB1 as a regular Sonic game, while also pulling in gameplay elements from Sonic Robo-Blast 2. It’s a bit of a time paradox mindwarp, but it helps give it a bit more personality than just making a bog-standard 2D Sonic. It works, aided by the fact the sprites, music and overall presentation are fantastic. The only downside is the Act 2 boss, which commits the cardinal sin of taking away player agency and making you wait around far too much. Here’s hoping this gets finished, because it’s definitely on my radar now.

Super Mario Flashback

This has been floating around for a few years now and I’m glad to see it’s finally starting to get some more substantial content as it moves towards becoming an actual game. That being said, this is also one of those games that’s kind of hard to talk about because it’s just… really polished. The art is incredible, it controls exactly like a Mario game, and there’s already a decent mixture of ideas at play in the demo. Anything else I’d say would sound like nitpicking -- like, for example, the backseat game designer in me wonders if maybe the game is prioritizing aesthetics a little too much. This is a wonderfully animated game, absolutely gorgeous, but some actions, like the butt-stomp and the wall kick, feel a bit sluggish, and I think it’s because they show off fancy animations. Even if it’s a split second, waiting for Mario to attach to a wall to kick off of it feels slow. Really, though, that’s an insignificant complaint. This demo is still well worth checking out.

Sonic Advance 4 Advanced

This game seems like a greatest-hits of Dimps best ideas, spanning the first Sonic Advance all the way to Sonic Rush. There’s just one problem: the game seems broken. Now, my desktop PC is starting to show its age. I built it four and a half years ago, and though it can handle game like Gears of War 5 on high settings at 60fps, slowly, newer games seem to be leaving it behind. That being said, I don’t think a game like Sonic Advance 4 here should be running at what appears to be half its intended speed. It also originally launched in a teeny-tiny window (we’re talking, like, smaller than a postage stamp) and even though the options menu has a toggle for full screen mode, it doesn’t want to work. Something about this game under the hood seems to be struggling very, very, VERY hard. It’s a shame, because if this actually played at the proper speed, it seems like it might actually be an alright game, if a bit complex and busy.

Sonic 2 SMS Remake

Here’s a game I was all buckled in expecting to enjoy. Like it says on the tin, this is a remake of Sonic 2 for the Master System (and Game Gear), but with wide screen visuals and huge expansions to the mechanics, roster of playable characters, and levels. On the outside it seems really impressive, and to a certain degree it is, but something about the controls feel a little off. Sonic’s heavier here than he is on the Master System, perhaps to simulate “real” Sonic physics a little more accurately, but you can also pretty much stop on a dime, and the combination of the two feels awkward. The camera also needs a lot of work, as it’s basic at best and does a poor job of letting you see what’s below (to the dev if you’re reading this: there’s actually video tutorials out there on how 2D scrolling cameras work, it might be worth looking a couple of them up). It also leans into some of the tech limitations of the Master System, like how you aren’t given any rings for boss fights (and even hiding the HUD, a move done to save on resources for the large enemy sprites). I could be picky on a bunch of other little stuff, too, like how the flight mechanics feel, but there are other games to play at SAGE and I’ve got at least two more articles to write. Needless to say, this is a solid (impressive, even) foundation but it’s missing a lot of late-stage polish to clean up the tiny little rough edges.

Rayman Redemption

I tell this story every so often, but it was about three quarters of the way through Rayman 2 on the Sega Dreamcast when it struck me, suddenly: I love this game. I was being chased by a pirate ship through some rickety bridges and even though I was dying over and over and over again, I realized I had been enjoying Rayman 2 enough that I might put it in my top ten Dreamcast games. But that was 2002, and the years haven’t been so kind to ol’ Rayman. From the strangely celebrity-infused Rayman 3, to the tragedy of Rayman 4 (eventually becoming Raving Rabbids) to the endless, careless ports of Rayman 2 to every platform under the sun, one gets the impression Ubisoft maybe didn’t know what to do with Rayman. Especially now, when most of Ubisoft’s games are some form of online live service or cookie cutter open world experience (or increasingly both). But the fans know what they want. Rayman Redemption takes the original 1995 Rayman game and lovingly gives it a fresh coat of paint. The results are akin to what Taxman and Stealth did for Sonic CD in 2011, with wide screen visuals, improved controls, touched up level design, but gameplay that still feels faithful and accurate to the original experience. Except that Sega charged money for that, and here, fans have released this for free. Ubisoft’s loss, I guess. I didn’t play Rayman 1 until well after I’d finished Rayman 2, and I’ll admit, I kind of bounced off of it back then. It felt slow, and awkward, and when the difficulty ramped up, it got very hard, very quickly. Now, admittedly, I’ve only put about 30 minutes into Redemption here, but just the addition of a run button is incredibly welcome, and the retooled level design and powerup mechanics helps the game feel way less obtuse overall. It’s just a cleaner, tighter, more accessible and more polished version of Rayman.

Stay tuned for the next article: Indie games.

[castielscarma]

Ahh, Spn on main. First, of all, it's such an honor that we clowns will be in this last episode. Thank you, Dabb! xD I just wanna say thank you to everyone I met through Spn. Honestly, I'm not that big of a fandom person (I don't like stan culture at all, people purposely misinterpret text, ship wars, and not to mention the shifting goalpost of what canon, text and subtext is.) But the friends I've gained through Spn has been worth it all. I've laughed with you, written some great (and not so great xD) meta with you, specced and theorized. I've joined several sm's (I'll take you back, Twitter! lol), joined discord and writing contests. I've joined a server that deals with alchemy and hermetic, been blocked by Kelios, beta'd a ton of writing and had convos with the writers of Spn. I just wanna say thank you to everyone I met through Spn. Honestly, I'm not that big of a fandom person (I don't like stan culture at all, people purposely misinterpret the text, ship wars, and not to mention the shifting goalpost of what canon and subtext is.) But the friends I've gained through Spn has been worth it all. What a ride this has been. I know that Spn is important to all of us. Some of you have been here from the very beginning and a decade and a half later you're still going strong. Some were there, burned out and came back. Some joined a year ago. Whatever the circumstances, this amazing story about two brothers hunting ghosts and vampires and monsters appealed to us. Not just because it was paranormal and Supernatural, but because it was *normal*. Stories about fighting, never giving up, always having someone to have your back especially when the circumstances have been less than ideal resonate with a lot of people. Issues of self-worth, to constantly question yourself, how parents fuck up their children by taxing them with their *own* issues, always fighting for others but not yourself, escaping your problems, not feeling that you belong, having to hide who you truly are, feeling that you're not loved and worthy or belong, we all have felt that. Aren't we all Dean, or Sam or Cas or Jack? This show has been about monsters on the surface but peel that back and it's a rich, deep, and complex saga about finding self-worth, love. It's about introspection, about, digging deep and getting dirty, dying over and over until you go and find your truth, who you really are and shout it out into the world. No wonder so many of us saw that budding spark of what was to be the epic love story between Dean and Cas. Dean who his whole life has struggled with being good with who he is, feeling accepted and worthy of love, who has put a shield around his heart to  keep him save yet yearns to belong and be loved. Sam who was protected by Dean's love, but still grew up under his father's shadow, who had his relationship with Dean spoiled due to John's toxic masculinity and repressed a lot. Cas who never belonged, always had a crack in his chassis, was reprogrammed over and over again and came to despise his own kind, yet always had too much heart. And in a spiral that seemed never ending, with distrust, betrayal, monsters, death and Apocalypses over and over again, this remains a story about hope, love and faith. Because Castiel did fall after rescuing a human from Hell. And Dean truly was saved when an angel gripped him tight and raised him from Perdition. And in this ouroboros of a story, with two characters that created sparks as soon as they met, something was born. We saw what was there (that something was there), even before the actors and writers were aware of it. And from then on, this thing called Destiel grew a life of its own. In this weird and collective creative process that this fandom and its writers became things percolated and simmered until a new collective thing was born. We who read those small parts, (that honestly was just small nods in the beginning) that grew into subtext and now into text, what validation this is. We can read this later text that clearly signals intent, a conscious work of the writers. One carefully crafted over the seasons were actions, words and plot lines tell the greatest love story ever told. And we've all been gaslit, and shouted upon and shunned for reading what is there, mocked and belittled and yet here we are. Destiel is canon. Acknowledging subtext is a thing and reading (and finding) queer narratives is not some magic thing you find in a spellbook, it's real and valid (and very intentional). And what a blessing these writers are (mirroring the entirety of season 14 and 15 with them as the villains) who tried to fight the characters but unlike Chuck they let them go. They allowed Dean and Cas to fight for their own path, their own free will within and outside the narrative. And they saw that it was good. What other show, what other writers would actually go there and acknowledge the creative power of the collective, trust that, trust the characters and fans and the story and just go with it? Only Supernatural. And in this story that is ending tonight, through love, family, faith, and friends, through connections, Dean and Cas have grown so much. Faced their Shadows, reached self-actualization, spoken their highest truth (Dean, love, we're waiting for you). That is what Supernatural is about. Fighting, never giving up, working on your inner work, shedding that skin, facing your darkness and coming out (in some cases literally) whole, alive and with the sun shining on your face. Hope, Love, Faith, that is what Team Free Will are. And with hope, faith and love I hope that Supernatural will be everything you want it to be tonight, To all my friends, you mean the world to me. I love you. Nothing truly ends. <3