#it was honestly a toss up as to who v would end up with

[redstarwriting]

the clash | v. ever fallen in love

hobie brown x goth!reader

word count: 3.1k

genre: enemies to lovers

warnings: language, insults, hobie hating you, you hating hobie, mentions of death, demonic names, mentions of injuries, giving and receiving stitches, geniuses being dumbasses

a/n: these keep getting longer LMAO which is wild too bc i literally had an idea to make this chapter even longer, but i had to end up splitting it up. thank you to everyone who’s reading the series, i appreciate you all more than you will ever know. please enjoy this chapter, the next should be out either late tonight or tomorrow :)

previous chapter: iv. london calling

now reading: v. ever fallen in love

next chapter: vi. (with someone you shouldn’t’ve)

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It’s been a few months since you’ve become a part of Spider Society, and much to everyone’s disappointment, you and Hobie still hate each other. Even though on any given day the two of you will be seen around each other, you’re always arguing. Yelling. There have been multiple times where the two of you almost fought, but someone always breaks it up before it gets to that point. “Ready to go, Hobie?” Gwen asks, and he scoffs. “Can’t believe ‘m bein’ forced to go to that dickhead’s world by you of all people,” he grumbles, and she rolls her eyes. “C’mon man, we all know that you’ve both been way more irritable towards everyone because you haven’t seen each other in what? Like two days?”

“I’ll be a lot worse when I see them, I can promise ya that, mate,” he snaps and Miles shakes his head. “Yeah, sure. Whatever, Hobie,” he says as Gwen pulls up the portal to your world. “Are you excited to see them? I haven’t seen you two apart for this long ever, you’re always together,” Pavitr says, side-eying Hobie. He keeps trying to tell Gwen and Miles the two of you only hate each other because you have strong feelings for one another and don’t know how to face them.

“I’m telling you, they’re obsessed with each other,” Pavitr says as he, Gwen, and Miles sit in his home, sipping some chai. “Obsessed with wanting to kill each other maybe, but that’s about it,” Miles says, and Pavitr groans. “No! You’ve got it all wrong! Neither of them knows how to express their feelings and that’s the only reason they act the way they do!” he tries to convince them, but Gwen and Miles just glance at each other. “I don’t know, Pav,” Gwen says. “I picked up on the romantic tension between the two of you immediately, why are you doubting my genius social cue reading now?”

“You need to stop being such a romantic, Pav. The two of them would rather eat glass than be romantically involved in any way,” Gwen responded, but Pavitr was not convinced.

He still isn’t. Hobie laughs. “Excited? You must be mental to think I’d be chuffed to see them,” he responds, and Pavitr sighs. One day. One day he will get Hobie to admit he cares for you.

Gwen was honestly a little nervous for this little meet-up. The two of you had a really bad fight recently, and trying to get the two of you back to talking level seems a little ambitious.

“You what?” he yelled, causing you to roll your eyes. “I’m being mentored by Miguel.” Hobie stares at you, not saying anything, with his mouth slightly open before he shakes his head. He’s very angry, but you simply don’t care. “He’s helping me, Hobie. We both have the venomous bite thing, so he’s trying to help me out with it and helping me adjust to–”

“Don’t you dare say adjust to fuckin’ Spider Society like I ain’t been here the whole time.”

“You never necessarily helped, Hobie. Unless you count constantly insulting me and–”

“Nah, don’t gimme that fuckin’ rubbish, (Y/n),” he growls, and you cross your arms. “Why are you so mad about it anyway?” He laughs. “Why am I mad? Seriously?! You’re the right fuckin’ hand of the pitch and toss!”

“The what?” you ask and he groans. “The fuckin’ boss, (Y/n)! The man!”

“So what, Hobart?! In case you forgot you’re a part of this society, you listen to Miguel too!”

“I fuckin’ don’t!”

“You fucking do!” By this point, you’d pulled attention from several other spiders, not only because of the yelling but because their senses were going off. The two of you were too focused on each other to realize they were all ready to pounce on the two of you. “Fuckin’ piss off before I do somethin’ we both regret,” he growls, and you laugh. “Make me.”

The two of you were separated after that and haven’t talked to each other since. Granted, it’s only been two days, but that is long for the two of you, honestly. And it’s been making everyone a target of Hobie’s rude remarks and your cynicism. The two of you need to talk because clearly, not talking just makes the two of you feel worse.

Even though Hobie’s acting like this is the worst thing his friends could possibly do to him, he does kind of sort of miss you. Which he hates. It’s been two days and he’s already missing you? Disgusting. He can’t wait to yell at you about it. He’s able to keep his cool and pretend like he really doesn’t want to go, but in reality, he’s so anxious to see you. “Alright, come on,” Gwen says, motioning for Hobie to enter the portal. He glances around at them. “Makin’ me go first?”

“Can’t have you run off at the last minute,” Gwen says and he sighs. “Whatever,” he says, walking a little too fast into the portal. He only stops when he’s enveloped in a familiar darkness. He feels something brush up against his leg, and he lets go of a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding. “Good seein’ ya, Shadow,” he says, bending down to give your cat some attention. Shadow headbutts him and he scratches between his ears. Your cat loves Hobie, much to your disdain.

“You hurt him, I kill you,” you said to him the second time he was at your place. He picked up Shadow while you were in your room, and when you came out and saw him holding your baby, you were ready to fight. But you were ready to fight him at any given moment anyways. “I won’t hurt him. He’s much cooler than his owner anyways,” Hobie says, petting his head. You roll your eyes. “Yeah well– wait is he purring?” you say, and Hobie smirks at you. “Looks like he likes me better than his owner too.”

“Shut the fuck up. Shadow!” you call your cat, your voice going from a tone that screams ‘I hate you’ to one that screams ‘I love you.’ Of course, Shadow’s ears perk up and he hops out of Hobie’s arms and right over to yours. You stick your tongue out at Hobie, who rolls his eyes and looks away to cover up the dusting of a smile on his face. “What are you, 12?” he asks, and you scoff. “Can I hold Shadow?” Pavitr asks, and you hand him to him without a second thought. But no matter who you passed him to, he’d either end up in yours or Hobie’s lap.

He's so lost in the memory that he doesn’t even sense you approaching. “So, you decided to actually show up. I’m surprised,” he hears your voice and looks up at you. “Wasn’t exactly by choice, love. If I had it my way, I’d never be in this hellhole again,” he retorts, and you just shake your head and say nothing. That’s strange. You thought for sure you would mention something about him being forced to do something even though he always does what he wants. “What? Have you lost your spitfire after only two days of not talkin’ to me?” he asks, standing. You sigh. “I just… I don’t have the energy to fight today, Hobie. Okay?”

Don’t have the energy? You literally always have the energy to fight with him. Before he can say anything else, Pavitr comes through the portal.

“(Y/n)! How have you been?” he asks, excitedly, hugging you. Hobie doesn’t like that. But what he doesn’t like even more is the slight look of pain that spreads across your face for a split second. He observes silently as you play it off like nothing happened, and Pavitr is none the wiser to it. Gwen and Miles enter shortly after, and the dynamic you all had before yours and Hobie’s attempted murder of each other returns. Except for the constant bickering between you and Hobie. Instead, it’s just a lot of silent glaring, and subtle reactions. “Okay, hold on. What the hell is this?” Miles asks, and you both look at him. “What?” you say at the same time, ending in a side eye to each other. “That! That right there, why aren’t you two threatening to tear each other’s heads off because you said the same thing?” Miles asks, and Hobie shrugs. “I got nothin’ to say to them.”

“Ditto,” you say, and the three of them look at you two like your heads just got cut off. “Are you serious?”

“Do I look like I’m havin’ a laugh, mate?” Hobie snaps at Miles and he puts his hands up in surrender. “This… is odd. I can’t recall the last time it was quiet between you two.”

“Because it never was. They always went for each other’s throats like their own lives depended on it,” Pavitr says to Gwen, and you clear your throat. “We’re right here, you know,” you say with a forced grin. “Yeah, care to save the talkin’ bout us til we aren’t around?” Hobie grumbles and the three glance at each other before nodding. “Sorry, you two…” Gwen says, and you shrug. “It’s whatever. Dealt with worse,” you say, and Hobie nods. He glances over at you again. How is no one else noticing how weird you’re acting? Is he the only one who pays attention to you or some shit?

This isn’t the first time he’s picked up on your odd behaviors. Within the time he knew you, he was able to notice your behaviors unlike anyone else.

He wasn’t necessarily looking for you. He’d never go out of his way to look for you in a million years, yet here he was. In your world because you didn’t show up at the allotted time everyone was gonna meet up at in his world. He webbed up to the tallest building, the Ember Stake Building. It resembled that of a wooden stake, except all black and metal instead of wood. Sure enough, you were there. “You’re late.”

You turn and look at him, but don’t say anything. Instead, you just turn away. He frowns. “What’s that all about, then?” he asks, plopping next to you. You sigh. “I think I’m just gonna stay here tonight.”

“What? Why? Because you’re too borin’ to do anythin’ fun? Gotta work late tonight?”

“No. Personal reasons,” you say and he cocks his head to the side. “Such as?”

“Fuck off, Hobie. I’m not telling you.”

“Yes, you are. What’s goin’ on in that empty head of yours?” he asks and you give him an unamused look. “It’s the anniversary of my Uncle Belial’s death,” you mumble. He frowns. “Ah. I see.”

“...Yeah.” The two of you sit in silence, the wind the only noise happening before he sighs. “Well then, you’re definitely comin’ tonight.” He stands. You look at him. “I just said-”

“And I don’t give a shit. Come on, your friends are waitin’ for you. Besides, they can help ya get your mind off of it. Chop-chop.” You ended up going because you were forced to. But you did have a good time. Hobie was right, it helped you get your mind off of things. And maybe you were reading into it, but he seemed just a tad bit nicer to you that night than normal.

And you could tell his. 

“And what the hell is your problem today?” you appear behind Hobie who is angrily restringing his guitar in his common room at Spider Society. “Well now you’re a part of it,” he responds. You sit on the floor across from him. “As much as I’m happy just my presence can reduce you to a massive asshole, I don’t think I’m the only reason this time.”

“How could you even tell?”

You shrug. “You busy your mind and hands when you’ve got something on your mind,” you say, and he looks at you. He clicks his tongue and shakes his head. “Didn’t realize you were obsessed with me.”

“You wish,” you say. He sighs. “New group of fascist assholes showed up today,” he begrudgingly opens up and you nod. “Told you so.” He glares at you. “Had to say it,” you say, “But you’ll beat them. You always do.” He glances at you. “And if you can’t, I’ll just take care of it for you.” He laughs, unamused. “I’d like to see you try.”

He’s unsure why so many memories are flooding back to him at this moment in time. The answer is that he’s obsessed with you and Pavitr is right, but we don’t need to talk about that until he realizes it for himself. Maybe not seeing you has made him think about you more for some reason. He shakes his head, rejoining the conversation. Everything goes surprisingly well for the rest of the time you all are together. Unfortunately, Gwen gets a notice that something is happening in her world, and she has to go. Miles follows, and Pavitr is torn between going with them or staying with the two of you to make sure no one gets murdered. Or to see some romantic shit.

“We been behavin’, haven’t we?” Hobie says, a bit relieved they were leaving so he could find out what was up with you. You were close with the others, but even they’ve commented on you two only opening up with each other. “You actually have… and maybe it’d be good to leave them alone. Talk out whatever issues they’re having,” Miles says to Pavitr and Gwen, who look at each other but reluctantly agree. Miles and Pav rush into Gwen’s world before her. “I swear if you two kill each other I’m going to kill both of you,” Gwen says, walking backward into the portal to her world and pointing at the two of you. “We won’t.”

“Probably,” Hobie finishes, and Gwen rolls her eyes before disappearing. There’s a silent tension between the two of you before he speaks up. “What happened?”

“I don’t know what you’re–”

“Don’t play dumb with me, now. What happened?” he pushes, and you frown at him. Shadow leaps up into your lap and nuzzles you. You sigh and gently pet him. Hobie stays silent, watching and waiting. “Just… bad day,” you mumble. “Bad day, how?”

“Bad spider day.” He hums. “That why you looked like Pav stabbed ya after that hug?” You look at him, surprised. “You saw that?”

“Course I did. ‘m not fuckin’ daft,” he responds, and you look at Shadow. “Yeah… it’s nothing, though. Just a few scratches, typical Spider-Person shit,” you say, and he nods. “Let me see, then.”

“What?”

“Let me see.”

“Why?”

“Cause you’re lyin’,” he shrugs, and you glare at him. “Have I told you I hated you?”

“Not recently, but yeah.” You glare at him but sigh. “Fuck you, Hobie,” you mumble, but shrug off your oversized cardigan. His eyes widen as he sees deep lacerations and bruises spread across your shoulder and onto your back. He stands up and approaches you without even realizing it. You watch him as he studies your injuries. “Who did this?” His voice sounds darker than you’ve ever heard it. You look away from him. “Does it matter?”

“Yes,” he responds immediately. You turn your head to look at him again, only to have him staring directly into your eyes. “Prowler,” you mumble, and he frowns. “The worst of the worst in your world,” he whispers to himself, recalling a conversation the two of you had months ago. He glances around. “Where’s your first aid kit?” he asks, and you look at him with a side-eye. “Why?”

“Cause I wanna get high off the painkillers in it, why do you think, you dolt?” he snaps, and you point to your bathroom. “Under the sink.” He gets up and walks into your bathroom, grabs the first aid kit, and walks back out to you on your couch. “Turn round and move a bit,” he says, and you do. He sits behind you, starting to clean and stitch to your injuries up. You wince slightly and he frowns. “Why haven’t you done this yet?”

“I can’t reach back there myself.”

“Then ask someone else to do it.”

“I don’t have anyone to ask anymore.”

“Yes, you do,” he says without missing a beat. You turn your head to say something snarky to him, but he looks at you at the same time. Your faces are closer than the two of you expected, causing you both to quickly look away. You can feel your face burning, and you’re grateful the injuries are mainly on your back and not close to your heart because you don’t want to hear his comments about how fast it’s beating. On an equal note, Hobie’s happy you aren’t looking at him because he has his jaw clenched and swallows hard. His heart is beating just as fast, but he pretends like it’s nothing, just like you. He finishes the stitches, placing bandages over top of them. “Done,” he says, and you mutter a quick ‘thank you’ as he tosses the first aid kit onto your coffee table. “Should be healed by tomorrow,” you mumble, and he nods. “When did that happen?”

“A few hours before you all got here,” you admit, and he frowns. “And you were just gonna pretend nothing happened?”

“Yes. I told you earlier, I’m too tired to deal with any bullshit today, okay?” you confess, and he frowns.

“He get ya that good cause you’re tired?”

“I guess.”

“When’s the last time you slept?”

“Dunno.”

“Stop lyin’ love,” he says, and the nickname you hate oh so much sounds just a little sweeter to you than it should. “Couple days ago.”

“You haven’t slept in two days?” You shake your head, and he sighs. “Go the fuck to sleep. Now.”

“But–”

“Go,” he demands, pointing to your bedroom. You groan, “You’re so fucking annoying,” you mumble, getting up and dragging yourself to your room. “Yeah, yeah whatever,” he says, following you. You flop onto your bed as he leans against the doorframe, arms crossed. “Come to tuck me in?”

“You wish,” he watches as Shadow hops up onto your bed, curling up against you. You immediately put your hand on him and pet him. Hobie frowns as he feels a pang of annoyance toward your cat. “Gonna stand there and watch me sleep or something?” your voice pulls him out of his ridiculous thoughts, and he scoffs. “Gonna stand here and make sure you don’t try to get up as soon as I go,” he says, and you sigh. “Fine,” you mutter, rolling away from him. He stands there until he’s sure you’re asleep. He glances at Shadow, who is still awake and staring at him. He puts his finger to his lips to say “shh” as he pulls his mask over his head.

He and the Prowler of this world need to have a bit of a chat.

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[stargirllanaa]

୨⎯ “I don’t smoke”- R.C

❥ Masterlist

Warnings: Dark!Rafe, Toxic relationship, Abusive relationship, Domestic violence, heavy drinking, violence, mentions of drugs, mentions past d/v, Rafe’s a narcissist, emotional abuse

Summary: based on ‘I don’t smoke’ by Mitski (you don’t have to listen to understand but I still recommend. You drink to much and everything goes so wrong.

A/n ✎: surpriseeee, I was taking a break but got randomly motivated lol, thank you for 300 followers!!! Ily all sm! My inbox is open btw, also pls reblog and comment if you enojoyed!! Also I recommend listening to the song while reading!! Tyy

Wc: 2.8k

18+ minors dni!!!

As you took a long drag of your cigarette, you thought about your night, how you ended up on the balcony of the Cameron house with a tear-stained face and a cigarette in hand.

You never smoked except for after you and your boyfriend got into it; nicotine’s supposed to relieve stress and calm the nerves, right? I mean, you weren't addicted, just a stress relief.

It made you laugh how almost every fight with your boyfriend was so stupid, usually a misunderstanding or him taking out his anger for something that had nothing to do with you.

You questioned why you always stayed with him; how could you be so in love with someone who mistreated you?

You laughed to yourself, taking another drag of your cig before inhaling, the warm breeze making contact with your slightly damp face, reminding you of why you were even out here; the sad realization brought fresh tears to your eyes, and before you knew it you were bawling again, sitting on the ground, knees brought to your chest, sobbing into your lap.

˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧ Earlier that night୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡

You and Rafe had ended up at a random party, some kook that Rafe knew from high school. Believe it or not, you enjoyed going to parties with Rafe. There was always an excuse to get as drunk and high as possible, and if you were faded enough, your thoughts would stop, and you finally felt at peace. It was honestly sad, but being in a relationship with Rafe, it was so hard to feel ok… to feel normal.

You guys had been at the party for about an hour, and you were already crossed, taking every drink offered to you in a heartbeat and even smoking with your boyfriend and his friends, but you could still feel, and you didn't like that, so you stumbled over to the drinks table, praying that there was at least enough left for a shot. Your vision was already spinning, and you were practically tripping over yourself, but you just wanted the pain in your heart to stop; that's it.

After what felt like a lifetime pushing through people and saying, ‘Excuse me,’ you finally made it. You reached for a bottle but didn't even read what it was; you were just desperate for anything. Your gut told you to stop drinking; you were nauseous, dizzy, felt heavy, and could barely walk straight, but your heart told you to keep going, so you did.

You poured yourself a shot, shaky, uncoordinated hands spilling a good amount on your fingers and the table. You drank the alcohol, tossing your head back as the bitter liquid made contact with your tongue before slightly burning the back of your throat. Your face scrunched up, looking around for a chaser but unable to find one.

As you stumbled around looking for your boyfriend, you bumped into at least five people, even causing one girl to spill her drink on herself; everything felt like it was going so fast yet so slow, and the world was spinning; you hated, but you loved this feeling, you were numb to your problems but also felt sick.

When you made eye contact with your boyfriend, he was sitting on the couch; you could barely make out the color of the sofa or who else was even on it; that's how fucked up you were.

You sat down next to him before even realizing what you were doing. You practically fell into him; before you knew it, you were lying on his shoulder and falling asleep.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆

“Y/n!” you heard your boyfriend's voice echoing through your head before even opening your eyes; you kept them closed. You were still tired and wanted at least five more minutes of sleep.

“She's knocked out, man.” you heard another man who wasn't your boyfriend say, most likely one of his friends.

“Y/n!” Rafe shouted, now shaking you awake.

You were genuinely confused when you opened your eyes—three blurry figures standing before you. When your vision evened out, you saw Your boyfriend was staring at you with his fist clenched to the side, clearly angry, as his two friends stood beside him, but you were laying on Rafe, at least you thought you were, but when you lifted your head and looked to your side to see who you were laying on, it was some random guy.

You immediately jumped, scooting yourself away from the random blonde. You had never seen this man before, and when you layed next to him, you could have sworn he was your boyfriend.

You quickly stood up, still tired and still drunk. Your heart was beating rapidly, and the look on Rafe's face didn't help; he was arguing with the man you had been lying on; you heard the name ‘Evan’ slip from his mouth.

"What's your problem, man?" Evan questioned, his tone challenging; he kept his spot on the couch as you hid behind your boyfriend and his friends, still able to get a clear view of the altercation.

“I've seen the way you've looked at her before.” Your boyfriend drunkenly spat, referring to you; he talked with his hands aggressively. That was a bad sign, and it worried you; you just wanted to explain to him this was all an accident, a drunken mistake.

“Listen, man; Your girl was all over me.”

Evan replied, words laced with venom as he stood up from his spot on the couch.”Maybe control your bitch next time-”

Without another word, Rafe lunged forward, his fist connecting with Evan's jaw.

The force of the blow sent Evan stumbling backward, crashing into a nearby table, sending drinks flying in all directions, causing everybody around to stop and look.

Evan recovered quickly, launching himself at Rafe.

The two boys wrestled with each other; trading blows amidst the chaos of the party; a crowd formed around them as phones were being taken out to record.

You were horrified, wide eyes watching as Rafe pushed the other blonde to the floor before punching him repeatedly. You knew this was your fault, and you felt horrible. How could you have made such a big mistake?

Your tears spilled, and your hand covered your mouth as you watched Rafe's friend's topper and Kelce pull him away from the kook on the floor, finally separating them. Rafe looked so angry. He was breathing heavily, his knuckles bruised and bleeding, but when you looked at the bloody blonde on the floor, you gasped. You regretted even looking at him; blood covered his face as he rolled over slightly, coughing more blood up; you even heard someone mutter, “Call 911.”

When Rafe's friends finally let go of him, he didn't go back for more; he honestly seemed satisfied, and when he grabbed your wrist roughly, pulling you away from the now-dead party and to his truck, clearly trying to avoid the police you were honestly shocked, You had never witnessed rafe hurt someone that bad, I mean he was going crazy, you couldn’t get the image of Evans blood covered face out of your head. And the more you thought about it, the more grateful you were that Rafe had never caused that much harm to you. I mean, sometimes he would slap, chock, or grab you, but he had just shown you how much he was genuinely holding back.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆

You had finally arrived at Tanneyhill after what felt like hours of complete silence as Rafe dropped his friends off. He refused to talk to you, ignoring you as you tried to explain to him that it was an accident and that you were just really fucked up. You were still drunk, not as drunk as you were when you originally made the mistake, but drunk enough to keep trying to talk to Rafe.

The thing was that you would rather argue with Rafe than be ignored; you hated when he punished you with the silent treatment; it made you want to curl up into a ball and cry, and you also didn't know how long he would keep this going, sometimes it was days, sometimes it was hours, you would much rather him just hit you and get it over with.

“Why would you even bring me here if you're going to ignore me?” You questioned Rafe, voices pleading for a response as you found your place on his bed.

He didn't even look up at you; instead, he rolled his eyes as he focused on his phone, scrolling through whatever social media app he was on.

“Are you fucking serious?” You recklessly said as tears started to brim your eyes; his breathing halted for a moment at that. “I said it was an accident! What the fuck do you want me to do?” You choked out, throwing your hands up.

Rafe continued to ignore you, slightly laughing at something on his phone; he wanted you to feel as guilty as possible, and he knew making you sit in silence and think about what you did would be the best way to achieve that, so he had to be strong. He wanted so badly to respond and put you in your place, but he also knew you would prefer that to this.

“Rafe!” you shouted, wanting so desperately to be heard, but you got no response, not even a look in your direction.

“RAFE!” You repeated even louder this time, but still, he kept eye contact with his phone and ignored you; it made you so angry and sad, so many emotions you didn't want to feel. This was the fucking worst.

“I fucking can't.” You cried, tears blurring your vision as you left Rafe's room, slamming the door behind you as you made your way to the balcony. You grabbed your chest, trying to slow your fast and deep breathing, but you couldn't. Rafe was treating you like shit, and it was so frustrating.

The blonde didn't stop you from leaving his room; he knew your little routine and that you would return to his bed in at least ten minutes.

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The following day, you woke up to muffled yelling from outside Rafe's bedroom door; you didn't even remember falling asleep or returning to his room last night; your last memory was bawling on the balcony as the smell of your cigarette filled your nose.

You sat up in bed, rubbing your eyes, noticing the pounding sensation throughout your head. You drank way too much last night, you thought to yourself before being brought back to reality by the muffled voices behind the door. Their voices were tense, filled with bitterness, and you couldn't help but feel a twitch of worry knotting in your stomach.

You glanced around the room, searching for clues or signs of what might have sparked the disagreement, but it was nothing new for Rafe to get into it with literally anyone.

The morning light filtered in through the curtains, casting a soft glow over your familiar surroundings, but your attention remained fixed on the heated exchange just beyond the door. But before you could even form another thought, Rafe's bedroom door swung open and slammed closed behind him as he breathed in and out fast and placed his hands on his head.

You exited his bed, swinging your feet out from under his blankets before standing up and walking over to him. You just wanted to comfort him and try to make him feel better. Even though you and Rafe didn't necessarily get along all the time, he's still your boyfriend, and you didn't enjoy seeing someone you love so upset.

“Rafe.” you calmly mumbled, touching his back. “Calm down,” you said, rubbing it. You could tell he was still distraught by how he was breathing.

His breath was rapid, his jaw clenched, and his first balled to his side.

“Take some deep breaths.” you calmly mutter, still trying to calm him down, but you knew you had triggered something in him when you saw the way he turned to you, eyes narrowed and dark; you didn't understand why what you said upset him, but you knew that all his anger would now be directed towards you.

“Calm down?” Rafe repeated, tone harsh and aggressive. “Deep breaths?” he hissed, taking a step closer to you as you took one back.

“Do you hear yourself?” The kook tapped on his temples as he stared you down, jaw clenched as he leaned on his dresser.

“You sound just like Sarah.” he tisked as he crossed his arms.

You didn't know what to say, but at this point, you were on the other side of the room; you knew you were playing a dangerous game, even being in the same room as Rafe when he got like this.

“Well, what do you want me to do, Rafe? I-” You looked down before being cut off by the sound of glass hitting the floor after your boyfriend knocked over serval objects that were sitting on top of his dresser in one clean sweep.

You flinched, closing your eyes as the abrupt noise of objects breaking filled your ears. You were grateful he took his anger out on his random trinkets rather than you, but you couldn’t stop your breath from speeding up as you held your chest, trying to lower your anxiety.

“I want you to be fucking quiet for once.” Rafe fumed angrily, now stalking towards you. “I want you to stop getting shitfaced just to embarrass me.” he spat, referring to last night.

As he stalked towards you, you made a run for it, successfully reaching the other side of the room, but this pissed him off even more you could see the way his jaw clenched even from where you were standing.

“Yeah, because the whole world revolves around Rafe!” you sarcastically nodded with a fake smile. He was fucking delusional if he thought you would purposely get drunk just to fall asleep on another man and embarrass him.

He rolled his eyes in response, jaw ticking again.

“I'm at least happy you got your anger out on someone other than me last ni-” Your words were cut off by empty glass being thrown directly at your face; luckily, you dodged it, falling to the floor and covering your head immediately.

Thankfully, the glass was thick enough that it didn’t break. What the fuck. If that would have hit your face, Rafe could have fucking killed you. You didn't know how you went from trying to comfort your boyfriend to almost being killed by him so fast. He was so unpredictable it was scary, and since you were so lost in thought, you didn't realize he was now right in front of you.

“You know why I hurt you, don't you?” Rafe questioned, voice now calm… scarily calm as he kneeled in front of you, brushing a hand over your hair.

You didn't respond; you were shaking and now crying. You were too terrified to even look up at him, too scared of what was coming next.

“Look at me.” Rafe sneered before tightening his once soft grip on your hair and using it to pull your head back and make eye contact.

You groaned at the feeling, more tears falling from your face as the pain intensified every second. You regretted even trying to make him feel better in the first place. Fuck, you regretted even meeting him.

“You know why I hurt you, don't you?” Rafe questioned again. This time, his voice was harsher, and his eyes grew darker the longer you didn't respond, but you didn't care you weren't answering that stupid fucking question; Rafe had no excuse to hurt you no matter what you did, and you weren't about to validate his reasoning.

“This is exactly why.” Rafe scolded, grabbing more hair as his grip tightened further. You screamed out in pain, but he quickly covered your mouth with his other hand as he continued. “You’re disrespectful.” he critiqued as he spoke through his teeth.

You were sobbing into his hand, tears soaking his fingers as he looked down at you with a storm brewing in his eyes. Rafe wanted to hurt you; Your boyfriend wanted you to feel exactly how he did when he entered his room in the first place.

“You’re kinda pathetic, you know.” Rafe looked you up and down, grip still tight on your hair.

“You're already crying, and I barely even touched you yet.”

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

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Wanna see more? Check out my fic ‘bad liar’

[mrdixon]

Be my Valentine?

pairing: daryl x f!reader

wc: 8k

warnings: 18+ content, carol being daryls wingwoman, daryls crazy shy and a loser (lovingly), second person but also you see a lot of daryls thoughts, shacking up, fingering, p-in-v unprotected, little bit of overstimulation, honestly this is just bad i apologize.

summary: daryl asks you out for valentines’s day.

A/N: smut fic and chapter 4 of a rugged muse will be up soon!!!!!! im dead ass extremely soryr this took me a week so ignore the fact that this fic is ass i am stressed out of my mind. i have so many fic ideas GENUINELY but i think i just make a lot of wips and then forget… and please please dont think im abandoning a rugged muse, school has just been really stressful on top of other stuff and im trying my best to shit out stuff for yall to read.

masterlist

“So are you asking her out for Valentines?” Daryl’s head turned to the grey haired woman who was baking up whatever she could make out of flour… and water. Carol raised a brow at him to which he scoffed, shaking his head and returning his attention to cleaning his arrows.

“Dun’ know wha’ yer talkin’ abou’,” he grumbled, kicking his feet up onto the counter. Carol sighed, swatting his feet off.

“Come on, I see the way you look at (Y/N).” Daryl glared at Carol and sat up straight, huffing.

“’s not like tha’,” he watched her stir the flour mixture with a look of curiosity and disgust. The woman rolled her eyes and chuckled to herself, finally adding some sort of seasoning to whatever she was making.

“She likes you too,” Carol hummed while grabbing a dish to pour the concoction in. Daryl sighed, leaning back in his chair as he thought it over. There was no way. No way that you would see him like that, he was just a sleazy red neck. You were completely out of his league, you two were too different.

“Nah,” he shook his head and stood up, taking his arrows before making his way to his basement bedroom.

“Just think about it!” He shook his head as he heard Carol call after him, walking down the stairs and into his bedroom. Daryl threw his arrows onto the couch, taking his vest off while entering the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror, and frowned. No way.

You were too sweet, so full of life. So pretty, so soft spoken. Compared to him you were an angel. You liking a guy like him was close to impossible. Nevertheless, Daryl looked into the mirror, trying to crack a smile.

“Hey…” Daryl’s cheeks flushed, this was stupid. His hands landed on the edge of the sink counter, dipping his head down as he tried to compose himself. He looked back up, trying a soft smile this time. “Do ya wanna be my Valentine?” He groaned and stepped away from the mirror, “bullshit.”

Daryl frustratingly stepped out of his clothes and into the shower, turning the tap on cold. He closed his eyes as he let his thoughts run around in his head. Asking you out would be nice… but so embarrassing.

His shower ended quicker than anticipated, his towel hanging over his shoulders as he left the bathroom. He picked out a black button up and some clean pants, so basically his usual attire. He ruffled his hair in the towel before tossing it into the hamper, and made his way back upstairs.

His hair was still damp and hung around his eyes as he walked into the kitchen where the fresh smell of bread filled his nostrils.

“Ya made bread?” Daryl furrowed his brows as he grabbed a glass of water, hearing Carol snicker.

“I did, someone’s here for you.” Daryl placed his glass down, turning to her. His eyes quickly met yours and he immediately brushed his hair back, cursing silently to himself.

You looked perfect just sitting there at the counter, your eyes wide as you took in his appearance. It made him feel slightly insecure to be quite honest, but he also noticed how there was some sort of admiration in your gaze. You both kind of stared at each other, just taking each other in. Carol watched this whole thing, clearing her throat.

“Okay… I’m gonna let you guys do your thing, bread’s still hot so don’t eat it.” Carol winked at Daryl before exiting the kitchen. Daryl practically rolled his eyes at the wink but quickly recovered. He looked back over at you, noticing how you rubbed your hands together. He knew that was some sort of grounding technique you used when you were anxious, so why were you feeling anxious right now? He rubbed his chin, and grabbed his glass while walking over to you. You straightened up, offering him a soft smile. His adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed, and sat down next to you.

He discreetly looked you up and down, but you noticed, and it made you even more anxious. Daryl took a sip of his water, unsure if he should speak first.

“So—”

“I wan—”

You both spoke at the same time, reverting back to awkward silence. Daryl huffed, drinking more water and felt slightly more self conscious about how loud he swallowed. You on the other hand, stared off to the side, wishing you also had some water to wet the dryness in your throat.

“You first,” Daryl rasped. You slowly turned back to him, your thoughts vanishing from all you wanted to say to him.

“Um,” you cleared your hoarse throat. “You first, I kind of… forgot what I was gonna say.” You lied, you literally were going to ask him out for Valentines. As cheesy as it is, you both being grown adults, but still… it’d be nice.

Daryl froze, is this the time? He watched you carefully, giving himself the benefit of the doubt. He gulped down the rest of his water, taking a deep breath before opening his mouth.

“Wanna be my Valentine?” He cringed mentally as the words slipped out his mouth, regretting it entirely. “Or don’ I was jus’ jokin’… or somethin’ I don’ know.” He looked away, the tips of his ears red. You almost chuckled at his embarrassment.

“Yes.”

Daryl’s head snapped back towards you, his eyes wide. You sat there and smiled at him while his mouth was agape. You could almost see his thought process, but his eyes were dead set on you. You tilted your head, waiting for him to respond with a cheeky little grin playing on your lips.

“Jokin’?” He asked to which you shook your head, still with that same cheeky grin. Daryl said nothing, finally breaking eye contact and rubbing his chin. “Serious?” He asked to confirm once again.

“I’m serious,” you laughed, his heart swelling at the sound of your sweet laughter. “I’ve been meaning to ask you the same thing,” his jaw dropped at your last statement. Maybe he was as oblivious as Carol said he was. You laughed at his expression, reaching out to nudge his knee.

“Well shit,” he laughed unbelievably. “Okay then, I’ll pick ya up tomorrow?” He felt hazy just looking at you. He couldn’t imagine someone like you looking at him like that, shot by cupid’s arrow.

“Yeah, sounds nice.” You smiled again. He felt the butterflies in his stomach seeing the skin around your eyes crease when you smiled, and he almost reached out to caress your cheek. You stood up before he could and his head raised as you went. “So, I’ll see you?” Your head turned over your shoulder to look at him as you walked towards the door.

Daryl swallowed, standing up to move over to you. “Yeah,” he breathed and looked down at you. His heart thumped in his chest as he stared at your lips, watching them curve into your signature smile. He so desperately wanted to know what they felt like on his, if you wanted that is. You chuckled, lifting a finger to his lip and tapping it softly. He wanted to throw up at your touch, in a good way of course, stumbling back unexpectedly.

“See you then, Valentine.” You winked and left the house. Daryl stood there dumbfounded, his stomach all twisted in knots.

“Told you.”

Daryl frowned as he turned to see Carol leaning on the wall behind him. He rolled his eyes and walked by her, nudging his shoulder into hers.

“Shut up,” he mumbled as he walked back downstairs into his bedroom. He needed another cold shower.

“Ya have ta shoot me or somethin’, I can’ do this.” Daryl grumbled into his hands while Carol paced the empty space around his bed.

“You seriously have no idea where to bring her?” Carol mumbled, staring down at the archer as he groaned and rolled around the bed. It was honestly a delight seeing her friend so distraught over this, the most she’d seen him utterly swooned.

“No, wha’ the hell I don’ look fer these things..” he groaned while Carol walked up to the side of his bed and smacked his head. He swatted her away, pulling the blankets over himself.

“What about that cabin by the lake a few miles out the gates? You could probably take her on your bike and… shack up.” Carol chuckled, grabbing the blanket and throwing it off him. He glared at her, sitting up.

“We are not shacking up.” He grumbled, “’sides, I don’ think she’ll like it.” Carol snorted, nodding reluctantly.

“I’m sure she would, especially if you stayed the night at the cabin.” Daryl scoffed, rolling his eyes as he got up and thought it over. Carol watched him pace the room, rolling her eyes as she walked up to his dresser. Daryl turned his head to watch the woman rummage through his clothes, biting back a snarl as she tossed clothes out haphazardly. “Jesus christ you have a lot of… the same clothes.”

“Doesn’ make a difference wha’ ‘m wearin’,” Daryl shrugged as he walked up to her, and the two of them stared down as his identical articles of clothing. Carol huffed, side eyeing him.

“It does actually, you have to look all neat and clean for her. Shows you care about her,” Carol picked out a pair of dark wash jeans and another black button up, but at least one that had minimal rips and wrinkles. “Here, this should be good enough.” Daryl looked down at the outfit she set out, grabbing the clothing.

“Ya gonna clean this mess up or wha’?” He gestured to the heaps of clothing on his bed. Carol rolled her eyes as she pushed him into the bathroom.

“Yeah, yeah. Go change, your girl is waiting.” Daryl swallowed thickly at that comment, he felt his stomach swirl with all kinds of emotions. Excitement, fear, and nausea swarmed his stomach and he had to lean over the sink to ground himself. He had never felt this anxious before in his life. Sure he’d been on dates before, but this was different somehow. It was you he was taking out. You that he had a little school boy crush on.

Daryl ran his fingers through his hair nervously, quickly changing into the clothes Carol picked out for him. The shirt was quick tight on him and he had to pop a few buttons so he could breathe, was this the appeal he was going for? He groaned in embarrassment as he looked at himself, why was he so nervous? He wasn’t usually like this, at least not until he realized his feelings for you. He tried to convince himself you liked him back, otherwise you probably wouldn’t have agreed to go on a date with him.

A date. Daryl blushed as he came to the realization that this was in fact a date, and he was taking you out to a lake. Alone. At a cabin. He felt like he was gonna hurl.

He turned on the tap and splashed cold water onto his face, gasping for air as he just. Kept splashing his face. After he calmed his heart rate he reached for his cologne he kept by the sink. In fact it was the one, and only one, that you complimented him on every time he wore it. He sprayed himself generously, making sure he didn’t completely reek of cigarettes. Speaking of, he needed one desperately.

Daryl left the bathroom, brushing off his shoulders and making eye contact with Carol. The woman gave a warm smile, walking up to him and fixing his collar.

“Well there you go,” Carol grinned, turning around to grab something off his workbench. Daryl furrowed his brows curiously, his eyes narrowing as she turned back with a small bouquet of flowers. “Here, my Valentines gift to you.”

Daryl rolled his eyes, taking the bouquet from her as she snickered and punched his arm gently.

“It’s for (Y/N),” she explained. “Picked out all her favourite flowers, just don’t mention that I picked them.” The grey haired woman winked and punched his arm gently. Daryl shook his head, clutching the flowers in his hand before leaving his room and ignoring Carol’s calls of encouragement.

Daryl left his house and literally walked across the street over to yours, knocking on your door three times as he waited patiently. The longer you took to answer the door, the more he felt insecure. What if this was all a joke and you didn’t actually like him?

His insecurities were all cut short as soon as he heard your frantic footsteps as you ran up to the door and opened it. He was taken aback by your appearance. You were wearing a cute little white dress and you had your hair up, if anything, you looked more like an angel. You smiled breathlessly, leaning against the doorframe with one hand while the other fixed your heels.

“Sorry I took so long, I had to…” You trailed off, not wanting to admit you were trying to pick a good bra. If he saw it tonight or not, at least your boobs looked good. “…find my shoes.” Daryl waved your apology off, holding the flowers to you.

“I got ya these, hope ya like ‘em.” Daryl murmured shyly. He watched as your eyes lit up at the bouquet, seeing you inspect each flower. Your gentle fingers skimmed over the soft petals, and his heart fluttered when he saw your soft smile.

“Oh, I love them.” You sighed delightedly, taking the flowers from him before moving back into your house. “Give me a moment, I’ll just put these away.” Daryl gave you a curt nod and let you do your thing as he stood outside awkwardly. He felt his face grow hot as he thought about how happy you looked after his small gesture, only hoping your happiness would be prolonged when he took you out.

You quickly walked back out, adjusting your dress before grabbing his hand. You chuckled when you felt him tense up, and squeezed his hand comfortingly. Daryl looked down at you and sighed, letting himself relax and squeeze your hand back.

“I was thinkin’ we’ll take my bike an’ I’ll take ya some place, ‘s pretty nice.” Daryl murmured as he walked you over to the front gates. He felt a little scared and wondered if you could feel his heart beating through his fingertips. He wondered if you could feel his hand sweating, he hoped it wasn’t.

“I’m excited,” you responded, feeling him squeeze your hand in shared excitement. He didn't admit it, but you could tell he was just as excited, maybe even more. He held your hand firmly as you made it to his bike, this wasn't your first time riding with him, but this was different.

He let go of your hand to help you onto his bike, and a warmth spread through you when he laid his hand against your lower back. He offered his free hand to you which you graciously accepted, allowing him to help you onto the bike. Once you were settled he rubbed your shoulder gently before getting on in front of you.

Your arms immediately embraced him, wrapping around his waist as you pressed up behind him. Daryl choked, letting out a breath as he started up the engine.

“Hold on tigh’ fer me, ‘kay?” Daryl drawled softly, you nodded against his back and gave him a little squeeze. He tried to suppress the shiver that ran through his body but ultimately failed, closing his eyes in embarrassment before eventually driving out the gates of Alexandria.

The ride to the lake was lengthy one, but Daryl made sure to take the scenic route so you wouldn't get that bored on the way there. You’d never get bored with him though. You two could literally be in bed sleeping and it’d still be fun for you, just the idea of being with him made things exciting.

The sun shone through the trees and your hair blew in the wind, giggling when Daryl revved the engine playfully. He watched you carefully in the side mirrors, stifling his own laughter. Your arms remained around his waist but you leaned back, closing your eyes. Daryl’s heart stopped when he felt you lean back, your arms loosening around his waist.

You felt a hand tug on your wrist, and you were ultimately pulled back against him.

“Don’ do tha’,” he furrowed his brows and made eye contact with you through the side mirrors. “You’ll fall.” You just chuckled and squeezed around his waist just a little tighter, hoping it gave him some reassurance.

Little did you know though, it made him feel nervous. The close proximity of you two was making his heart beat faster and his face grow warm. He swerved a tiny bit on the road, swallowing thickly as he pushed all thoughts out of his head and focused on not killing the both of you right now.

Thankfully, you both arrived at the lake shortly after. Daryl drove over to the cabin, parking the bike there as you hopped off and ran towards the lake. His heart dropped as you suddenly ran, his legs following after you.

“Hol’ on, I dunno if there's walkers or not!” He called after you, watching you pause and look down at the ground. His gaze followed, finding a picnic blanket and some food. His face flushed, this was Carol’s doing for sure.

“Oh wow…” you giggled while biting your finger, “ain’t you the romantic?”

Daryl groaned internally, throwing a hand over his face as he forced himself to chuckle nonchalantly.

“It uh, it ain’ much…” he gestured for you to sit down, which you did, and he soon joined you on the blanket. Your arms wrapped around your knees as a soft smile remained on your face, looking out at the view ahead of the both of you.

“This is perfect,” you murmured. Daryl’s head turned to you, admiring the glow on your skin. He wanted to say in return that you were perfect, but he held back and looked out at the view. The sun bounced off the lake and into his eyes, making him squint and turn away. You noticed and reached over to brush through his hair, “too bright?”

Daryl sheepishly tucked his hair behind his ears and nodded, turning towards the food to switch the topic. You chuckled and reached for the sandwiches, taking a bite and humming.

“’s good?” Daryl raised a brow while also taking a bite, “I ain’ even gon’ lie. Carol made the food.”

You laughed mid chew, covering your mouth as you savoured the tastes that mingled on your tongue. You placed a hand on his shoulder as a sweet gesture that meant you didn't mind, you were just glad he took you out.

He looked at your hand on his shoulder, now noticing how close you two sat together. He ate his sandwich slowly, just keeping his eyes on you while you looked out at the lake. He just wanted to lean in and kiss you, but he didn't. It’d be too soon.

You finished your sandwich and stretched, enjoying the warm breeze. You then abruptly stood up and walked towards the lake. Daryl shoved the rest of his sandwich into his mouth and followed you quickly, not wanting you to hurt yourself accidentally.

“It's hot, let's go for a swim.” You smiled at him. He furrowed his brows in confusion until you immediately started pulling your dress off. His face flushed a bright red as he looked away, hearing you take off your boots.

“(Y/N), maybe we should jus’…” he looked over at you and swallowed. You were just in your undergarments and was now stepping into the water, he sighed and stood by. You giggled as you slipped under the water, jumping back up with a huge grin on your face as you shook your head.

The water was cool, not too cold but just enough to ease the heat on your body. You looked over at him as he stood close by, his eyes avoiding looking anywhere but your face. You chuckled at his flustered expression, sinking into the water so your entire body was submerged.

“Why don't you come in? It’s really nice in here,” you murmured before leaning back and swimming on your back. Daryl thought about it, but shook his head.

“Nah, c’mon yer gonna get sick.” Daryl tried to persuade you into coming out of the water, but in all honesty he just wanted you to get back into your clothes. “’s gonna get dark soon, we should head in.” You frowned playfully, splashing water at him.

“Let me have some fun,” you teased and watched as his eyes closed in a bit of frustration and fluster. He sighed and let you swim around, moving back to clean up the picnic blanket. He decided it could work as a towel since he wasn’t even sure if there were towels in the cabin. He dusted off the blanket and held it while clutching your dress in the other.

You smiled at him and decided it was time to head in. Just seeing him stand by the lake and watch you protectively made your heart flutter, and you dunked your head into the water before standing up. Daryl’s eyes trailed down your body that glistened from the moisture of the water, quickly wrapping the blanket around your body. You shook your head chuckling as you picked up your boots and took your dress from him. He wrapped an arm around your waist and led you over to the cabin. You were enjoying the closeness between the two of you, it was quite a shift from your usual encounters.

Daryl opened the door to the cabin and let you step in first, his arm leaving you as he walked over to the campfire.

“Go ahead an’ dry up a lil, I’ll start a fire.” He murmured to you and you excused yourself to the bathroom. As soon as you shut the door you squealed quietly, clasping your hands over your cheeks as you tried to calm your heart rattling. The thought of spending the night with him, alone? It made your inner teenage girl’s stomach twist into knots.

After realizing how uncomfortable it would be to wear your wet undergarments you decided to just go without them, and quickly stripped yourself of your bra and underwear. After drying your body with the picnic blanket, you slipped back into your dress and let your hair be damp. You checked over yourself in the mirror and made sure to toss your wet undergarments into the hamper before leaving the bathroom.

Daryl’s head turned over to you as soon as you stepped back into the living room, you saw the way he swallowed after taking in your appearance. He was crouched over by the fireplace, a nice warm heat emitting from it. You moved over to him and sat down on the carpet, grabbing a soft blanket off the couch and putting it over your legs. He bit his lip, running his fingers through your wet hair gently.

“Here, let me.” He gently guided you to sit in front of him and began to ruffle your hair to try and dry it. You smiled and closed your eyes while leaning your head back to give him better access. His big calloused fingers ran over your scalp while occasionally shaking your hair in an attempt to rid of the moisture that settled among the strands. After a few minutes of that and finding out it didn’t do much, Daryl’s hand flittered down your neck and along your shoulder. The gesture sent a shiver through your body and he flinched back, resting his forehead against the back of your head in embarrassment. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay, it was nice.” You murmured while leaning back against him. His breath hitched when he felt your body on him, his hands moving to your waist.

“Why don’ we get on the couch? I got no clue wha’s been on this floor,” he snorted. You laughed in response and nodded, your heart jumping in your chest as he picked you up. A little giggle left your lips as he settled you down on the couch next to him, and you quickly threw your legs over his lap. He chuckled at your amusement, grabbing the blanket and putting it over the both of you. He seemed to be more comfortable around you and it overwhelmed you with joy.

He rested his head on his hand as he stared admirably at you, and his other hand landed on your knee to stroke it gently over the blanket. You looked back at him just as admirable, the hand holding his head up came down by your head, letting you rest on it. His eyes softened as he looked down at your relaxed state, stroking the side of your head comfortingly.

“This is nice,” you murmured and closed your eyes. His hand kept stroking your head and you could feel him shift his body closer. His hand came down to rest on your cheek and your eyes fluttered open at his touch. He didn’t shy away when your gaze locked on his. He didn’t know what took over him but he leaned in closer, his thumb rubbing your cheekbone.

“Can I kiss ya?” He whispered against your cheek, you could even feel his heartbeat from how close you two sat together. You looked into his eyes, seeing a deep sea in his. You licked your lips as he got closer, nodding gently and closed your eyes as his lips fitted to yours.

You felt all warm inside as you two kissed, your brain turning to mush when his hand moved from your cheek and into your slightly damp hair. He rubbed the back of your head, the kiss remained long and tender. He was the first to pull back, taking in a breath of air before smoothing your hair down. His face was tinted pink, and you imagined his ears were too.

You were slightly dazed from the kiss, your mind hazy. But you did know one thing, and it was that you wanted more.

You reached for him, cupping his cheeks and rubbing the stubble that lay there. He groaned softly and pressed a hand on the couch by your hip, leaning in to kiss you once more. This new found confidence that ran through his veins was exhilarating. His lips moved against yours more desperately, and a hand cradled the back of your head.

His hand left the couch and instead grabbed your hip, rubbing it gently with his thumb as he continued kissing you passionately. You couldn’t help but let out a small moan into his mouth and he took the opportunity to snake his tongue into your mouth. You could feel the hesitation in his movements and his hand slid over your hip to your lower back, pulling you closer. After feeling you kiss back he started to straighten up and ran his fingers through your hair.

You had to pull back to take a breath, pressing a hand on his thigh as you leaned up to his level. His breath hitched and he reached up to wrap his large hands around your waist. Looking down at him like this made goosebumps rise on your skin, his pupils were blown wide at the sight of you. He looked at you like you were sent down from heaven by god just for him. His hands itched at your waist like he was begging to touch you further, his head tilting to the side as he reached up to trace over your cheek. You let out a soft chuckle and stood up on your knees to move yourself over him, placing a knee on each side of his lap before settling down on him.

Daryl closed his eyes as soon as he felt your body on top of him, leaning back against the couch. His rough hands ghosted over your thighs, unsure if he was able to touch you or not. You shifted yourself over his lap, rubbing against him slightly and eliciting a groan from him. The sound shot a wave of heat in your lower region, pressing his hands on your thighs. Your body jolted when he squeezed your plush thighs in return, kneading your skin gently while one hand moved onto your back and pulled you against him.

“Is this okay?” He murmured low and sultry against your neck, and he smirked a little when he felt your body trembling under his touch. You bit your lip and nodded, moaning when he squeezed your thigh. “I need ta hear ya say it.”

“Yes..” you breathed against his face, arching your back when his hand pressed down on your lower back. “This is… better than okay,” he smirked at your comment, leaning in to kiss you gently. This side of him was different than you’d ever seen him before. So full of confidence and completely taking over your body. His lips parted from yours and wandered over your jaw, kissing the little spot right under your ear.

You moaned airily as he continued to kiss your neck, suckling gently while one of his hands rubbed your back. Your hips stuttered a little as you tried to refrain from grinding against him, and he knew. You could feel the smirk on your skin as he trailed his free hand up your thigh, slipping it under the skirt of your dress and dragging it over the curve of your rear. His hand paused after his calloused fingertips brushed over your soft skin, peering up at you through his eyebrows.

“Are ya not wearin’ anythin’ under ‘ere?” Daryl drawled dangerously, his finger tapping your bum periodically. When you didn't respond he brought his hands down to the hem of your dress, rubbing the fabric slightly. “Can I look?”

“Please,” you mumbled involuntarily and your face grew hot when he chuckled at your eagerness. He continued to rub your thighs, moving his way up and under your dress before lifting it up. His pupils dilated more at the sight of your exposed pussy, his eyes rolling back slightly as he fought to hold back.

“Jesus christ, ya really…” he growled under his breath before lowering your dress. You whined a little since you wanted him to go further, but at the same time feared this was as far as he wanted to go. He brought his hands onto your ass and lifted you up so he could placed you down right on…

“Oh,” you hummed which soon turned into a moan as he basically spread you over his erection. The rough material of his jeans rubbed against your clit, sending waves of pleasure throughout your body as you practically rode him through his clothes. He groaned into your ear and grabbed your hips to slow you down, then biting your earlobe.

“Calm down, don’ wan’ this ta go too fast.” Daryl’s rough voice grumbled into your ear. He nudged you off of him so you were standing in front of him, and he leaned back against the couch before whispering, “take yer dress off.”

You grabbed the skirts of your dress shyly, biting your lip as his gaze pierced right through you. He suddenly sat up straight and furrowed his brows in concern, worried that he went too far.

“Or don’.. you don’ have ta if ya don’ wan’..” he shook his head and grabbed your arms to rub them reassuringly, “y’know I’d never make ya do somethin’ you don’ wan’ ta do.”

Your heart swelled at his sweet words, leaning down to plant an innocent kiss upon his lips. His hands loosened around your arms as he felt reassured you weren't uncomfortable. You pulled back to place a few more kisses on his cheeks and then his forehead.

“I want to, it's just… been a while.” You looked down in embarrassment and felt a hand rub your thigh comfortingly. You smiled at the gesture, you didn't expect him to be so sweet during all this. Like you did… but then again you never imagined this would happen in the first place.

The look he gave you as he waited for you made you want to just part your legs and let him have his way with you, but you relented. Instead you slowly stepped back and undid the straps of your dress, eventually dropping it to the floor and revealing the entirety of your bare body.

Daryl rubbed his chin as he gazed over the length of your body, his body slowly moving back against the couch. He shifted himself so his legs were slightly apart, presumably to ease the tension in his pants.

“C’mere,” he beckoned you over and reached for you. Your legs moved on their own and you practically threw yourself into his arms, settling onto his lap. He cradled you like the precious thing you are, supporting your weight with one arm while the other stroked up and down the side of your thigh. “Look at you,” he murmured and brought a hand up to your cheek, brushing the stray hairs that lay there. “So pretty.”

You pussy throbbed at his words, feeling pathetic at how easily aroused you were. He leaned back as you suddenly pushed yourself up and straddled him once again, making sure your warmth was settled right above his erection. Suddenly, you felt super conscious over the fact you were really wet. You wondered if he noticed, and he did. You bit your lip and looked down at where you were sitting, your face growing hot as you noticed the slightly damp spot on his jeans.

“Oh god Daryl,” you muttered and tried to sit up. He immediately grabbed onto your hips and pulled you back down onto him.

“Don’,” he pressed his face into your neck, his eyelashes brushing against your skin when he closed his eyes. His nose pushed against you as he took a deep breath of your scent, the sweetness filling him with the primary thoughts of arousal. His thumbs pushed into your pelvic region while the rest of his fingers squeezed your butt affectionately.

You sighed and threw your head back when the warm wet feeling of his tongue graced your neck, his beard scratching you in all the right ways. You needed to feel more of him and so, you grabbed the collar of his shirt and started unbuttoning the first few buttons before he grabbed your hands.

His breath caught as he held your hands, gently pushing them away from his shirt. You couldn’t see his expression but you assumed he didn’t want it off. You silently resigned from his chest, letting your hands fall onto his biceps. He breathed heavily and kept his head down to avoid your gaze, feeling ashamed of what lay under his shirt.

“’m sorry- I jus’,” he sighed and put his hands on your waist. You understood what he meant, he wasn’t ready to show that part of him just yet. You carefully cupped his jaw and tilted his head up, melting at the sight of him. He looked so worried, frightened you’d think of him any different for what was on his body. “Can we jus’ leave my shirt on?” He whispered so quietly that you almost didn’t catch it.

“Of course. Just like you, I’m not going to force you to do anything you don’t want to do.” You smiled sweetly at him and kissed him gently, hoping it’d ease his anxiety. He relaxed in your hands, closing his eyes and breathing a sigh of relief.

“Wha’ did I do to deserve ya?” He rubbed your sides with his thumbs which only stirred up more feelings of adoration… but most importantly lust. He noticed the slight impatience emitting from the way your body shifted more frequently, and a smirk appeared on his face. “Poor girl,” he teased as he reached for his belt.

You felt like a starved animal as you awaited the sight of his cock, your hands scratching at your thighs to keep yourself from undressing him completely. He didn’t make you wait too long and gave you what you wanted, pushing his pants and boxers just enough to pull his length out. Your eyes widened in both curiosity and nervousness, he was big. Sure you’d had quite a few dicks in you before but his was, different. He chuckled nervously after you didn’t say something, but you quickly replaced his hand with your own.

He choked on his own spit at the feeling of your dainty hand touching him. He’d fantasied about this moment before rather he’d like to admit it or not. He threw his head back against the couch as you slowly started moving your hand up and down his length, his own hands clutching at the cushions.

You felt a sense of pride in you after realizing how much pleasure you were giving him, and you felt yourself more antsy and aroused at the sight of him like this. Daryl let out a loud groan before looking back at you, noticing how wet you had become. His thigh was soaked from the amount of grinding you’d been doing on it.

He brought his right hand to his mouth, sticking his middle and ring finger into his mouth to get them nice and slicked up. You continued to stroke him as he did this, letting him eventually move you closer to him.

He looked into your eyes for silent permission which you graciously gave, and soon his wet fingers made way to your core. Your eyes shut when you felt those cold and calloused fingers on your clit, feeling him circle the extremely sensitive bundle of nerves. You squeezed his cock unintentionally and it made him let out a whimper, his face flushing after he made the sound.

Your hips bucked wildly at the digits circling your clit while your hand wrapped around his length to pump him faster.

The cabin was filled with noises of just the both of you moaning, and if you listened closely you could hear the lewd sounds of his fingers pumping in and out of your sticky wetness. You cried out softly when he curled his fingers, moving dangerously close to that soft spot in you. Your hand jerked him faster, eager to make him finish all over your hand.

Daryl cursed under his breath, his hips bucking up into your hand as he sped up the pace of his fingers moving in and out of you. You moaned loudly, your eyes were squeezed shut from the pressure building up inside of you, threatening to release. Daryl groaned as he felt your walls clench around his fingers which he soon pulled out, making you stop your ministrations on his cock. He chuckled at your little whines of protest and grabbed the back of your head in order to pull you down, your lips crashing against his.

Your hands moved onto his chest, clutching his shirt in your fingers as you tried to stabilize yourself from the overwhelming arousal and lust that was flowing through your body. Your breaths were hot and mingling, his tongue moving against yours with authority, and you let yourself be taken. He continued to kiss you while guiding you over his cock, pulling back momentarily to help you lower yourself onto him.

You held onto his shoulders while you sunk down onto his length, the stretch painful. You let out a soft whimper, holding still with only the tip in. Daryl furrowed his brows and started to lift you off, but you shook your head.

“No… just let me… let me adjust,” you mumbled, blinking away the tears that had made their way into your eyes. Daryl shifted uncomfortably under you, feeling terrible that you were in pain. He listened though and sat as still as he could, kissing the area under your eyes and rubbing your hips calmingly. You were so tight and he worried he didn’t prepare you enough, your eyes still closed and brows furrowed in pain.

“(Y/N) c’mon, ‘m hurtin’ ya.” He frowned purely out of concern for you, he was more worried about your pleasure than his own. You held your ground and kept sinking down little by little, and he couldn’t help but moan a little as your walls constricted and adjusted to the size of him. You kept pushing yourself to take more, wanting this moment to last as long as it could. You finally plopped down onto him with a loud cry of both pain and pleasure, leaning your body fully against his. He groaned deeply, rubbing your back as he kissed your neck to distract you from the pain.

You kept your eyes closed, feeling almost defeated as you let your body relax and adjust to his huge girth in you. You laughed a little at that and it made Daryl a little confused but he didn’t question your little giggle. Instead he just kept kissing what ever skin he could get his lips on, trying to make you feel more pleasure than pain. He dragged his hand up your thigh, up your side, and over to your breast. You gasped softly as he touched you there, biting your lip as he circled your hardened nipple.

Your hips rocked accidentally from the touches on your tit, your walls constricting again at the sudden movement. It was still painful to move but it felt closer to getting better, though Daryl felt guilty he was getting more pleasure than you were. He just wanted you to feel good. He decided to latch onto your other nipple while he toyed with the previous one, determined to make you feel amazing.

It worked slowly. Your mouth was agape and you let out whimpers and whines occasionally, testing the waters and moving your hips slowly. The abrupt movement had Daryl grabbing your hips, his mouth breaking away from your breast. He breathed heavily and looked up at you, a light sheen of sweat was evident on his forehead. The heat between you two plus the fireplace was palpable and he gingerly thrusted up into you, watching closely for your reaction.

Thankfully, no pain was evident in your expression. Bliss took over you, throwing your head back as you slowly started picking up the pace and rocked your hips against him. His fingers dug into your hips to keep himself grounded, but mostly so he wouldn’t cum in three seconds. He grunted low in his throat, watching your body move mesmerizingly above him. The feeling of his cock dragging up and down your walls was extremely pleasurable. You felt so full of him that you could trace the one outstanding vein that ran up his entire length with just the feeling of it in your pussy.

You felt hot despite your lack of clothes, your mind swirling with the thought of him and the fact that the two of you were literally having sex. You moaned softly and let your head fall forward. Your forearms rested on his shoulders, one hand moving into his hair as you brought him close to your lips once more. You were desperate for the taste of him, you didn’t know you had a thing for the taste of tobacco and meat, but you did. At least coming from him you did.

He moaned gratefully into your mouth, pulling you against him before palming your breasts as he bucked his hips up. You swirled your tongue around his, savouring the taste of him. The moment was perfect, your sweaty body pressed against his clothed one. You pulled back from the kiss to look down at him, his eyes were glazed over with lust and his cheeks were adorably flushed. Your thumb rubbed his cheek as his lips parted, his heavy breaths warm against your face. The feeling of being stuffed with his cock sent your eyes rolling back into your head as he pulled you harder down onto his cock, and you immediately went back in for a kiss.

His hands pawed at you desperately, like he needed more of you. You knew one thing for sure, and it was that he liked your ass a lot. He moved his hands down there to guided you up and down on his length, biting your bottom lip teasingly. You moaned as the friction was starting to get to you. You felt that knot tying inside of you, threatening to snap at any moment. Your fingers curled into Daryl’s hair, tugging it lightly which gave him the hint.

“So close already?” He taunted, but he was feeling it just as much as you were. You whined desperately as you bounced on his cock, eager to release. You had to lean back and brace yourself with your palms on his thighs to ride him properly, your head thrown back as you let the moans and cries escape your mouth freely. His cock twitched inside of you, the sight of you like this was better than he imagined, and it really was him making you feel like this.

Daryl let out a few whimpers, reaching forward to cup your breasts in his hands. He kneaded the flesh, squeezing it a few times before pinching the sensitive buds that hardened with arousal. You had to cry out his name when he did this, your nails digging into his thighs the faster you moved yourself.

He dropped a hand from your breast and down between your thighs, his rough thumb rubbing your already sensitive clit. One of your hands shot forward to wrap around his waist, your body shaking violently at how overstimulated you were feeling at the moment. Your cries were like music to his ears, he wanted to hear more. Your scratches at his wrist held no intentions of stopping him from rubbing you like this, but you could see your vision go blank at how overwhelming the pleasure was getting for you.

“Daryl!” You cried loudly, your grip loosening on his wrist, and your hips stuttering as you finally reached that high. You could see stars and you threw your head back so far that Daryl had to hold you up, thrusting lazily into you before quickly lifting you off so he could cum on your thighs. He let out an exasperated groan while pulling you into his arms, letting you lay on him as you recovered from your intense orgasm.

Daryl had a shy smile on his face as he rubbed your back, kissing your sweaty forehead. “You okay?”

“Mmm,” you hummed sleepily. The session took a lot out of you, but you were beyond thrilled. You wanted to say more and he could sense that, but you were too tired to even lift yourself up. Daryl grabbed the blanket that was tossed to the side and carefully wiped your thighs. Your body ached for rest, your thighs would surely be burning in the morning.

Daryl stood up with you in his arms, letting out a small huff as he cradled you to his body. The fire had long fizzled out, a new one resonating within you two. He kissed your forehead and carried you over to the bedroom where he lay you down. He stripped of his pants but kept his shirt and boxers on before slipping into bed next to you. Your half sleeping body slid over to him, pressing yourself against him fully.

Never in his entire life would Daryl have imagined he’d be shacking up with you on Valentine’s day. He wrapped his arms around you, nuzzling against your head as he closed his eyes. A soft smile remained on his face, happy to be in this moment, with you.

[thoughtsfromlayla]

26 Ways of Taking You: E for Edging

Summary: Hell hath no pettiness like a woman ignored.

Notes: ~4k words of pure POR-, Dream in this fic can be summed up as "the light is on but no one is home", reader gives big bratty energy and I love that for her honestly (same)

Warnings: NSFW 18+, Sub!Dream, orgasm denial, edging (duh), unprotected intercourse, p in v, handjob, blowjob, riding, takin' it from da back

⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄

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How busy could a monarch possibly be? 

You sit on the plush couch, quietly seething like the crackling fireplace that accompanies you. It should be your husband who should be accompanying you instead. The book you were supposedly reading has long since become words on a page, the letters merging together and tangling within themselves. You dejectedly shut the book with a bang as you realize you’ve been rereading the same line with no progress for the past hour. 

You understand that Morpheus’ duties are never ending, as endless as his name, but would it really kill him to spend a few hours a day with you? With a sigh, you toss the book onto the ottoman and stand, your bones groaning as they finally move after hours of staying still. A bath wouldn’t sound half bad right now. 

Another sigh of relief leaves you as you enter the bathhouse. The large communal bath of natural spring waters was completely empty. You still take a quick glimpse around before stripping yourself before submerging into the hot water, the sudden change in temperature making your nipples perk. The temperature burns you for a moment, but you soon become acclimated to it. You completely submerge yourself, the natural hum of The Dreaming deafens as you do, and with all of your pent up frustrations, you scream into the water, watching as the air leaves your lips in large, aggressive bubbles that swim to the surface. 

“Anyway,” You say to yourself when you resurface, already feeling much better. 

You move to the side, grabbing at a bar of soap, and begin to lavish it across your skin, feeling the soothing effect glide over your skin. The water was doing wonders on your muscles and the hum that leaves your lips was that of satisfaction. 

“There you are,” Morpheus’ voice echoes in the empty room. 

You turn slowly as you look at him, your body fully submerged in the water, except for anything above your nose. You stay quiet, too vexed with him to say anything of note. Instead, you turn away and continue washing your body. 

“Are you that angry with me?” He continues and you hear the faint rustling of him removing his clothes and him walking into the bath soon after. The still water sloshes around his waist as he continues his path towards you and you soon feel his cooler limbs wrap around your body. 

“Have you missed me?” He murmurs into your neck as he rests his head there. The comfort of your skin against his revitalizes his tired body. 

The grip you had on the soap turns bone-crushing at his question. Have you missed me? You repeat his question in your head in a mocking tone. He surely needs to be punished for leaving you alone for so long. A plan is quick and easy to form in your head and a sly smile crawls on your lips. 

You turn in his arms, the same smile on your lips as you look up at him. 

“Dearly,” You answer back and press your lips to his. The heat of the bathhouse increases the heat that grows at your core. “Let me show you how much, my love.”

The suds of the soap drips down your hand as you continue to lather the bar with your one hand. The other hand is placed commanded on his shoulder to prevent him from running away, as if he would ever do so from your touch. A smile appears on his face as well as your sudsy hand trails down his chest and closer to his nether regions. 

It is of no surprise to you when you already feel his half erection greeting you beneath the waters. Your slippery fingers grasp around the shaft and a broken gasp leaves Dream’s mouth. You meticulously move your hands along his cock as you wickedly watch as he throws his head back in pleasure. His Adam’s apple bobs with each beautiful sound that comes out of his throat and you don’t restrain yourself from wrapping your lips around the protruding piece.

Slowly, your hand increases in pace, gripping his cock tighter as you do so, the water and soap assisting you as your fingers glide across the skin. His moans and groans soon turn breathless and he’s simply breathing hard and desperate against your hand. The sounds echoed across the walls of the bathhouse. 

His hands shoot out of the water as he grabs the back of your neck, looking deeply into your eyes as your hand continues its ministrations. His eyebrows crease as his dick jumps in your hand, mouth open in a silent plea as his orgasm comes closer to its peak. A whisper of your name like a prayer falls from his lips and both of you know he won’t last long. Morpheus closes his eyes in anticipation as his muscles tense below his skin. 

His eyes snap open as your fingers leave him, pushing yourself back away from his body and he’s left standing on wobbly legs. The water ripples from his trembling and close orgasmed body. 

“What-”

“Would you look at the time? I should go to bed now. Good night, Morpheus,” You cut him off with a firm hand. 

His eyes follow you as you walk out of the bath. Eyes lingering on the roundness of your ass cheeks as they pop out further as you climb up the stairs. His feet stay planted in the bath as you wrap yourself in a towel. He stays still even as you leave the room without a second glance at you. He could finish himself off, but he knows it wouldn’t be as good as your hands.

The next day, you catch Morpheus and yourself by surprise as you see him standing along the aisles of the library. Embarrassment floods your system as you vividly remember what transpired the other day. Never had you defied him so easily… and felt so happy to do so.

You peek over the bookshelf you were half hiding behind. Morpheus had an off-glazed look in his eyes. His finger was resting on the spine of a book and he kept it there for a while. If you squint you don’t think he was even breathing. You walk up to him, his gaze still not noticing you. A tap on his shoulder was enough to garner his attention, and he seemed to snap out of his zombie-like state after seeing you. 

“Are you all right, my dear?” You ask in truth. His distracted demeanor is a cause for concern. 

Almost immediately his eyes harden and a frown grows on his face. 

“You,” He growls down at you. “You left me wanting last night, denying me such a thing like that is cruel.”

You huff at his accusation. If denying one orgasm is cruel, what does he call leaving you alone for days on end then? 

“Want me to make it up to you?” You reply coyly and with a smile. Your fingers go to the lapels of his jacket and smooth over them. 

A quizzical brow raises itself at your compromise but his will dejects with a sigh. “How would you do that, dearest?”

“Well, I could…” You trail off as your fingers down his chest, just like the night before. You feel the sturdiness of the chest and how his heartbeat thrums beneath your fingers. He’s so real for the physical manifestation of a concept. “I could do something better than last night?” 

He hums as your fingers ghost over the hem of his jeans, feeling his happy trail and the depth of the lines that lead itself to his cock. You cup at his growing hardness through the rough material and his hands once again go to you, holding you gently on your waist. 

His eyes hold yours as you sink to your knees before him, a smile still evidently on your face. You don’t bother looking away when your fingers pop the button, nor when you pull at the zipper, his breath growing heavier at each tick of the metal. Your fingers tickle gently over the length of him behind the thin cloth of his underwear. 

His hand grabs at the root of your hair as his hips impatiently bucks into your face. With a flat tongue, you press the wet appendage over the tip of him, wetting the cloth underneath as you trace around his frenulum. The smell of his manhood invades your senses as you do so and your eyes roll to the back of your head at his soft moan. 

A little pull is all you need for his cock to spring out of its confinement, hot and heavy and leaking with excited precum. You feel its warmth as your soft lips kiss his tip, taking your hands around his base. You lick at the precum carefully then and his grip strengthens in your hair. 

“You said it would be better. Enough teasing,” He commands and you feel your lips tug into a barely containable smile. 

Without debate you wrap your lips around his tip, suckling at the supple skin. The bookshelf he leans against rattles as his head slams into the wooden material. You take down another inch while your hand continues to work his base. Saliva drips through your lips, creating a trail down a vein as you continue to suckle. 

A guttural groan tells you to go deeper, and you do until you feel him hitting the back of your throat. Your eyes begin to tear slightly at the large intrusion, but you push through for your master plan. You hollow out your throat, taking him down the tight cavern, and relish in the feeling of his thighs flexing under your fingers. 

Your nails dig into his thigh muscles as you bob your head back and forth on his weeping cock, the filthy mixture of saliva and pre-cum rests deliciously on your tongue. Morpheus has started to curse from above you at the warm fit. The Dreaming around you begins to hum louder as you pull back on his cock, sucking as hard as you could with him in your mouth. 

His dick jumps in your mouth, his telltale sign that he is close to his orgasm. That and your name falling from his lips once again. His hand has yet to leave your hair as his hips try to take over by bucking themselves into your mouth each time you try to pull back. His thigh muscles spasm each second that passes and just as he’s about to see the stars, you remove your lips with a satisfying pop. 

Cold air wraps around his cock instead of your warm mouth and he does his best to stop the whine that almost escapes his lips. Morpheus’ breath is ragged above you and his frown returns as he glares down at you. You looked perfect like this to him, on your knees, cheeks flushed, hair messy, and eyes watery. The only thing wrong with the picture was your satisfied grin that spread across your face and that very obvious fact that your mouth isn’t being put to use satisfying him. 

“What do you-”

“Oh my, I think I hear Lucienne coming. I should go, goodbye, Morpheus!” You cheerfully lie as you stand and briskly walk away. 

Lucienne was, of course, nowhere to be seen in the library. Both of them knew she was out gathering the consensus for the new year. Morpheus groans as he presses his palms into his eyes. You were going to be the death of him, even without trying. He’s starting to finally think that you were up to something, that devious smile of yours still flashes across his mind when he closes his eyes. He carefully puts his softening cock back into his pants as he absentmindedly thinks to himself. He doesn’t even remember why he was in the library to begin with. 

Morpheus’ thoughts trail with him throughout the day and even the Dreaming residents notice the forlorn face that he wore. It was said that while he was attending to his duties and upholding the Dreaming, it was almost barely viable. His attitude turned sour and only answered Matthew’s questions with a simple grunt or resounding “no” (not much of a change there if you were to ask the bird). Lucienne was less than amused but unable to find you to help fix this issue, she kept quiet and hoped it would pass quickly with time. 

That night, you were back on that couch, the fireplace was going again and the book you were reading was back in your hands. You’re freshly washed and enjoying the soft fabric of your summer’s nightgown as your feet tangle with the soft furs of the rug. This time, you did manage to read a few chapters but after a while, your thoughts went to the faces Morpheus made each time you denied his orgasm and a chuckle shakes through you. Surely this will teach him to never leave you alone for more than a couple days at a time. 

The Dreaming this and The Dreaming that, well, next time he will remember that you too are a part of his world if he should ever want to feel the sweet release of his orgasm again. You’re sure the last two days have been Hell for him, but it was all worth it. That desperate look on his face was like sweet victory trickling down your throat, smooth and refreshing. 

The door to your shared room opens with a bang causing you to drop your book in surprise. You look at Morpheus with wide eyes as you’re completely caught off by his sudden intrusion. Words fail you as he swiftly makes his way to you, standing in front of you with his lips tugging downwards. A scoff leaves you as you realize he’s pouting at you. 

“What ever is the matter, sweet Morpheus?” You tease in an almost condescending, sickly sweet voice. 

“You’re punishing me.” It wasn’t a question. He states it loud and clear. It had taken him all day to decipher your actions. The thought had been chasing him for the past two days, but he was always faster than it, jittering from denied orgasms and responsibilities to accomplish. 

“No!” You gasp with exaggeration. “We were simply interrupted!” 

Morpheus stays silent at your blatant lie, if anything you basically smacked him with a sign that read “yes, obviously, you numb-nut of a lover.” He doesn’t bother to move either, his eyes betraying his pseudo-domineering stance at the moment. 

“Well, good conversation then,” You mutter to yourself as you pick up your book again. You turn to the page you left off on and begin to read again. 

Morpheus’ gaze burned two holes into the top of your head as you read. Not before long, another surprised noise leaves you as he plucks the book from your hands and throws it off into some unknown corner of the room. 

“Lucienne is going to murder you for treating her books like that,” You comment with a cross of your arms. 

“She’ll survive,” He growls down at you. He’s met with your brow raising in turn, in which he finally pieces the last piece together. “Are you acting out because I’ve been neglecting you?”

Dang, he really hit the nail in the head with that one. You turn your head to the side, arms still crossed as you respond. 

“Well, I certainly got your attention this time.”

“I’d say,” He muses. He sits down by your feet, the white fur of the rug in stark contrast to his outfit. The fireplace softens his sharpness with its warm glow as you look at him from above. 

You think the conversation was over then, it seemed like the two of you came to a conclusion. Getting up from the couch, you try to walk over to the corner the book was lying in, but are stopped almost immediately as he holds onto your wrist. 

“How can I make it up to you, my love?” He asks and the pout almost makes it to his lips again. And, well, how can you say no to a face like that? 

You join him on the rug, hands cupping at his face. He leans into your touch, the moment endearing as you look at him. 

“Did we learn anything?” You ask.

“Yes.”

“Lay down for me, darling. And let’s get rid of the clothes,” You hum. 

The change is instantaneous as he lays down per your request. The furs caress against your shins as you move to straddle him, picking up the helms of your nightgown in the process. Your arousal starts to drip out of you at the sight before you. Reducing a King to nothing but a needy lover was a sight for fond eyes. It’s the thought of knowing that he could easily overpower you if he so wanted, but relinquishing all his power just so you may touch him? Delicious. 

Your pussy lips slide across the length of him as you get comfortable sitting on his lap. Morpheus’ hands easily find themselves, once again on your waist. How he wished you would strip for him as well, but he doesn’t voice his want in case you decided against touching him tonight. 

Leaning over, you go to kiss him, feeling his soft lips against yours and even you can’t deny your body when it grinds down over his cock. A satisfied hum emits from your throat as his hands wander over the curve of your ass and you leave his lips to give him bruising kisses along his pale skin. You are a painter and he is a canvas where you will show the world how much you loved him. Red blooms across the soft skin, his grip on you tightening. 

His hips thrust upwards with a moan, to which you defiantly sit down harder on him to prevent him from moving anymore. Your name falls from his lips in a hushed whisper, barely audible over the crackling fire. It sends a tug into your core, to hear it in such reverence. With heavy breath, you lean back and watch as his lips try to chase you. 

Morpheus stops himself short when he sees you raising slightly, hand moving between the two of you and firmly grabbing at his cock. You guide himself under you, teasing him a bit more by sliding his tip across the length of your slit. His mouth opens in protest, but before words can come out, you sink yourself onto him. 

Harmonious groans tangled with each other at the feeling. The familiar stretch of him leaves you panting above him. Your warmth was incomparable to your hands or mouth and Morpheus’ nails left small crevices in your thighs. The slight pain grounds you from drifting off into a complete world of pleasure. It takes a few moments for you to start moving your hips, the size of him taking a few moments to adjust to. The first drag of his cock in you leaves you shaking already. It had been too long since you had last felt the touch of his skin against yours. 

With your hands bracing themselves on his chest, you begin your bounces, keeping a rhythm that you like. Morpheus is like putty beneath your fingers, grasping at any part of you that he could in his throes of pleasure. His hair is beyond tussled, his lips dry and parted as noises accompany the slap of your thighs against his. 

Each bounce makes his tip kiss against your cervix, your walls fluttering around him in a vice like grip at how well you took him. It was familiar but exciting each time you took him again and again. The smell of sex accompanies the smell of burning wood on the floor as your thighs shake in exhaustion. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” You whine out as you realize your rhythm starts to slow down. 

You settle to grind on him instead, loving the way the new maneuver has his tip rubbing against the spongy spot in you. You gasp with your head thrown back as you’re about to reach your peak. 

Morpheus stares at you in awe, sweat highlights your skin in the lowlight and your breasts bounce with each grind you push down onto him. Your hands brace themselves on his thighs as you feel your orgasm impeding slowly into your system. Just a few more like this and you would be done for and Morpheus would soon follow. 

Another mischievous idea pops into your head through the haze of pleasure. With the remainder of your strength, you rise, letting his cock slip out of you. Morpheus whines this time, unable to hold it back as his hands grip your waist trying to pull you back onto him, to let you ride him into oblivion. 

You feel his heat as you hover over his cock, panting into his neck. You may have denied your own orgasm, but seeing his teary and begging eyes was exactly what you wanted. His chest heaves with annoyance as a familiar frown makes its way onto his face. 

“What do you think you are doing? I am going to kill you,” He accuses beneath you. The insult leaves his mouth but both of you know he would never follow through with it. 

“I think… ha…” You’re still panting, cardio has never been your strong suit. “I think I’m too tired. I should turn in for the night, my love.” 

“Surely you are joking,” He laughs void of any actual amusement. 

“No, no, I’m just sooo tired. Yeah.” You fake a yawn as you unstraddle his waist. 

His eyes trail you as you stand on wobbly legs, using the couch as a crutch as a halfway point to your shared bed. 

“Absolutely not,” He comments as his hand brings you down again having you kneeling before the couch.

He’s quick to appear behind you, running his fingers down your spine to rest on your hip. The sensation leaves you weak and limp, bracing on the seat of the couch and resting your head on your arms. A kiss to the center of your shoulder blades is the only warning he gives before he inserts himself into you again. 

Morpheus doesn’t wait as he picks up a brutal pace, each thrust he gives you communicating his frustrations. The legs of the furniture scratch the floor beneath it as it rocks with your body. You’re left, once again, panting in pleasure at the drag of his cock within your walls. 

His grip on your hip is enough to bruise, to remind you of your passionate night the day after. His other hand snakes in front of your neck, pushing your face upwards, scattering your broken moans into the air. 

The orgasm you denied yourself comes back with full force, your eyes shutting as you feel it searing through you. With help from Morpheus, as he thrusts forward into you, your lower lips clamp down onto him, releasing your cum over the front of his highs in a satisfying orgasm. Your back bows forward at the release and you’re left panting into the cushions. 

“Let me cum,” He weakly commands as he feels your slick coating him.

“Please, yes! Cum,” You moan, riding through your orgasm as he continues pumping into you. 

He bites down on your shoulder, his groan muffled between your skin as he climaxes into you. His cock twitches in you as he cum releases into the deepest part of your being. You feel as if your mind is full of cobwebs as he stays in you, keeping you full until his erection turns soft. 

The softness of your shared bed barely registers in your mind as he moves the two of you over. The blanket is placed over your naked bodies and he pulls you close. His lips press into your temple as he chants mantras of his devotion to you as you fall asleep in his arms a satisfied smile on his face. 

This time, Morpheus has learned his lesson as he stares adoringly at your peaceful face. How could he ever forget something like that?

Previous || Next

Main Masterlist || Series Masterlist

Time to get back to that angst fic, but we can enjoy this as like... a palate cleanser or something

I'm now on Ao3! The fics are very slowly getting added when I have the energy to. I never knew how in-depth the tagging system went and I get tired looking at it...

♡ Yours, Layla

[exhaslo]

Would you ever consider doing anything for Miguel/Fem!Deadpool reader?

One who's honestly just kind of tease which makes it impossible for Miguel to figure out *why* he hates her flirting with other spidermen so much until the penny hits.

Bonus points for recklessness and brat energy from DP we all know they aint got no self control. Needs Miguel to definitely put her in her place.

Ohhhh, I have seen so much fan art of just regular Deadpool being a menace to Miguel, Dr. Strange and the TVA. It gets me excited to see the new movie coming out!

But yea, let's give into the chaos!

Warning: MINORS DNI, Smut, bondage, angry sex?, p in v, language

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"For fuck's sake, why is there so many anomaly's popping up in different universes?" Miguel barked, tapping against his screens as he sent numerous Spiderman and women out to the field.

"Actually, based on the energy signatures, it seems to be the same anomaly."

"Impossible, one person jumping around all of these?" Miguel cussed lowly, trying to identify the new anomaly.

This new frustration was giving Miguel a reason to want to drink tonight. The speed he was working to try and understand this problem was honestly amazing. This was probably the fastest he has ever worked.

"Wow! No wonder why all of the Spiders I met say great things about you!" You gasped.

"Que?! (What)" Miguel hissed, seeing both a new intruder alert and anomaly alert appear at the same time, "Who-"

"Haiiiiiii! Pleasure to meet you, sexy ass, my name is (Y/N), I'm like the hottest version of me there is-"

"I. Don't. Care." Miguel hissed, jumping down from his platform and approaching you, "This attire...fuck-"

"Yeeeeep! I'mma Deadpool!" You chirped.

Miguel pinched the bridge of his nose before taking long, deep breathes. Once he regained a portion of his composure, he proceeded to grab you by the collar and drag you to the 'Go Home' Machine.

At least one of his problems were solved today. Hopefully you will stay in your dimension. Trying to ignore your chatter, Miguel couldn't help but notice some of the other Spiders avoiding eye contact. This annoyed Miguel. How many of them ran into you before saying anything?

"Hm? Oh like half of them." You replied. Miguel groaned loudly,

"Wasn't even a thought bubble," He muttered under his breathe before arriving in the room, "I don't want to see you here again. Stay in your world."

"Awe, but isn't fun! Not when I found such a squeezable ass-"

"Send. Her. Home!" Miguel spat.

It only took a second, but you were sent home immediately. Miguel took another deep breathe before returning to his office to hopefully relax.

----------

"Hehe, he gets so mad when he finds me wandering around this place. It totally isn't my fault that all of you guys think of taking a break here and I just-hop into those thoughts and end up here!" You huffed, talking to Peter B. Parker and Jessica.

"Yeah, yeah, we still don't understand the whole hopping into thought bubbles thing you say you do. It's so confusing." Peter huffed.

"Oh, it's pretty easy. I'd like to describe it as a comic book, but you guys won't understaaaaand, the readers will though!"

"Readers?" Jessica groaned softly. You just laughed,

"Oh yeah! The readers reading this now! So like, normally it's a comic I hop around or thought bubbles or I just rip through the screen, but this time...It's the readers who bring me here!"

"I think I'm more confused than when I started," Peter whined and turned to Jessica who tossed you into the 'Go Home' machine, "Look, just...don't come back before Miguel gets bad again."

"Hpmh! I just said it isn't my fault I keep coming back!" You whined loudly, "The readers and writer keeps bringing me here! I am meant to share my wisdom to Miguel!"

"Why do I hear that Deadpool's voice?" Miguel grumbled, holding a cup of coffee as he walked by, "Again?"

"See! He neeeeeeds me! That has to be why the writer keeps putting me here!"

"What the hell is she babbling about now?"

"Please, don't ask. I don't think my brain can handle anymore." Peter whimpered. Jessica waved him aside,

"She's going home now, Miguel."

Just as the machine turned on, you immediately got sent home. Miguel let out a sigh of relief and right when he was going to drink his coffee, you appeared behind him.

"Fuck!" Miguel yelled as he noticed you. You just casually waved,

"Believe in the spirits beyond."

"I want her gone!"

"Miguel, we've tried so many times. I think...we just need to accept her appearing here." Jessica whispered. You grabbed Miguel's cup, taking a sip,

"Oof, so bitter. So now that I can stay here under the writer decides to let me go home, wanna show me around, big boy?"

Miguel felt his eye twitch as he followed you, mainly just wanting his coffee back.

------------

It has been a few weeks since you've stayed at the-

"Whoa, whoa. Really writer? You gonna make here stay here for weeks without going home?" You huffed.

Okay, sorry, um, it has been a few weeks since you started to willingly appear at the Spider Society.

"Thank you!"

....

Uh, anyway, Miguel has finally started to tolerate you to a certain degree. You still couldn't understand why you kept appearing there, but you were making the most of it. Miguel on the other hand, was starting to find something new to irritate him.

"It's just so fascinating how different each of you are~ Can I touch those wonderful large boobs of yours?" You whispered in awe towards a Spiderman. Yes a Spiderman.

"They're not boobs."

"It's okay to not want to admit your flaws. I buried mine with my neighbor." You whispered, slowly reaching out to the boob.

"Enough." Miguel hissed, grabbing the back of your collar and dragging you to his office.

"Hey! I was about to grab something that could have been the most magically experience of my life!"

Miguel chose to ignore you, growing annoyed at your bratty and quite ignorant behavior. Honestly, he was more annoyed by the amount of flirting you've been doing with the other Spiders. You just didn't know when to stop.

"I can't help it. A natural icon I am," You chuckled and grabbed Miguel's ass, "But this...is a multiverse icon."

Miguel's eyes lit up as he locked his door and tossed you on his platform. In an instant, he webbed you in place, making sure that you couldn't move to try to free yourself.

"Ohhhh~ This is kinky~" You cooed, rolling around like a worm. Miguel pinned you to the floor, his blood red eyes piercing into yours,

"Do you know how frustrated you make me?"

"So...you aren't happy to see me?" You grinned, your knee poking at his growing erection, "I made you horny!"

"Silence," Miguel covered your mouth, "Shit, you're so annoying. No one has been able to put you in your place. Do I need to be the one to do that?" He said with a huff.

You licked his hand in response, "Awe, not sure if a fucking will stop me, but you are so willing to try~" You hummed.

Miguel felt his eye twitch as he captured your lips in a kiss, wanting to shut you up. You couldn't help yourself and smirked, enjoying this moment. Parting your lips, you hummed as Miguel forced his tongue into your mouth, his hands roaming your body.

"Mhm~ Gim....sq..." You tried to say. Miguel broke the kiss, glaring towards your,

"What?" He grumbled, biting and sucking against your neck. You chuckled as his hands reached your breasts,

"Give em a squeeze~ You know you wanna~"

"Do I have to shut your mouth again?" Miguel grumbled, kissing you again.

You tried your best to behave, you truly did. You couldn't help but try to grind against his hips, press your chest to his, or even kiss his neck. Miguel was ready to web your mouth, at least until he started to rub your-

"Whoa, whoa, writer, now I don't mind a good sex scene, but lemme have some privacy here!" You huffed.

Uh, I kind of wrote smut in the warning...so I'm giving the readers what they want, a sex scene.

"Well, I want this man to myself right now! You write other smuts! Let them read those!"

But they wanted this...I can't just-

"Consent!" You huffed, literally spreading your legs towards a feral Miguel who had you pinned, "This is different! I'm totally into this freaky shit!"

"Who are you talking too?" Miguel grumbled, ripping your suit. You shushed towards him,

"The writer! Wait juuuuust a second before shoving that monster of a cock inside me!"

I need to give them a sex scene here. You're already helping me write it.

"No, no! You are trying to write it. I'm trying to enjoy the moment. So be a good writer and juuuuuuuust-"

---------

"Thank you~"

What just happened?

"Oh, I totally skipped the part where Miguel fucked me so good that I actually did shut up. Hell, I think I still feel weak in the knees. Who would have known the stamina and strength that man had. Fucking hot, can't wait to-"

You skipped my story?! I'm the writer here!

"Yeaaaaaah, but like, you can always write more smut. Let me just enjoy that moment to me~. I'm sure you understand~" You cooed.

...

"Hehe, go on. End the story. I'm sure you have other smut to write."

I just- Whatever.

Let's just say, you made yourself a permanent member of the Spider Society. You made sure to annoy Miguel just enough so that he could keep teaching you a lesson. Hopefully, we'll get to see one of those lessons one of these days.

"Maybe~ If I decide to show the goods."

Freaking Deadpools.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hahaha, hope you enjoyed! I always loved it when Deadpool would just talk to the narrator or hop comic pages sometimes. It was great.

@tojishugetiddies

[m0chaminx]

Kung Lao | Shirt Thief

*•.¸♡Request: no, but inspired by @heavenlyvision fic Matters (go read all her work if you haven't already it's so good)

*•.¸♡Prompts: none

*•.¸♡Warnings: Smut MDNI, Raiden being a ladies man, p in v, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), a little bit a plot, no use of y/n, Kung Lao is taller than reader, the knee thing, praise, big dick Kung Lao, begging if you squint, marking, pet names (angel, baby), oral Fem!receiving, hair pulling, Kung Lao being desperate for praise, kinda rough smut, Raiden walking in (At the end), fluffy ending, this is my first smut in a while (go easy on me), I wrote this while high

*•.¸♡Paring: Kung Lao x F!reader

*•.¸♡Summary: You had never looked so good, why did you have to wear his clothes? Why did you have to be so annoying?

or

Your mission to annoy Kung Lao takes a different turn after you steal his clothes and his bed

*•.¸♡Words: 3.6k

You hadn’t exactly planned to spend your night like this. You sat on the couch in the living room, flipping mindlessly through the pages of a book. After a lovely dinner at Madame Bo’s, but honestly, they were all lovely, just before you could order dessert for the two boys a girl had swept Raiden off his feet, suggesting she’d pay for his dessert if she could spend the rest of the night with him, and, as Kung Lao put it left you both for dead. The walk back to your small home was gruelling, Kung Lao complaining the whole time about he was the one that was meant to be swept off his feet. 

You closed the book and tossed it on the small table, huffing as you threw your head back to stare at the ceiling. Once you got home Kung Lao had locked himself in his room, still sulking. You turned your head to stare at his door, spend the night bored on the couch or annoy Kung Lao for your own entertainment. The answer was clear, and you kicked yourself off the couch, walking to his door.

You knocked twice before opening it. Kung Lao sat on the bed, weaving the loose bit of straw back into his hat. “Are you done being a baby?” Your voice was teasing as you leant against the wall.

His hands stopped and he scoffed. “I’m not being a baby,” Kung Lao huffed, staring up at you.

“Sure you aren't,” You rolled your eyes and closed the door behind you as you walked to his set of draws.

“And what are you doing?”

You trifled through the draws for a few moments before pulling one of Kung Lao’s long grey shirts. You turned back to him and shrugged. “My bed’s crap and you know it.”

“So? Go sleep in Raiden’s.”

You laughed silently and turned away, pulling off the shirt you had worn to work earlier that day. Kung Lao’s eyes widened as you so shamelessly stripped in front of him, the bare skin of your back so clearly on display. You shook your head and laughed at Kung Lao’s suggestion, “So Raiden can come back with his lady friend and I give him a heart attack? No thank you.”

You pulled Kung Lao’s shirt over your head and turned back to face him, who still stared so shamelessly. “Move over.”

“You just stole my shirt!” Kung Lao complained, his eyes lifting to meet yours. You placed a hand on your hip and raised an eyebrow.

Kung Lao sighed. He hung his hat on the bed frame and shuffled closer to the edge of the bed, making room for you. You pulled the blanket back and slipped in beside him. You rested your head against his shoulder, your hands moving with the end of the blanket. You nudged Kung Lao’s side, waiting for him to wrap his arm around you, as he had done before when you would disturb his daytime naps.

You nudged him again, this time digging your elbow into his side. “Hey! What was that for?”

“What’s up with you?” Kung Lao hummed in confusion, his eyebrows furrowing. “You’re never this upset, it’s not even upset, you're just acting weird.”

Kung Lao scoffed, trying to hide it with a chuckle. “I’m not being weird.”

“Yes you are.” You prodded his side again, getting an annoyed sound out of Kung Lao. “What’s up with you?”

“Nothing.” Another poke.

“Hey-” Another poke.

“I mean it.” Another poke.

“Seriously, cut it out.”

You moved to poke him again, but he seized your wrists, his hands fitting around them perfectly as he pushed you back against the bed. He climbed on top of you, his thighs pinning your legs against the bed. “I said cut it out,” His voice dropped slightly and your heart hammered against your chest.

You tried to pull your hands from his grip, but his hands only tightened. “Get off me,” You huffed, your head dropping back against the pillows.

“Nope, this suits me quite nicely.” Kung Lao shook his head, a teasing smile taking over his face. You tried to wiggle out of his hold, your hips trying to shuffle back and your legs rubbed against him. One of Kung Lao’s hands shot down to grip your side, pushing you back against the bed and holding you still. “Don’t move like that.” His voice was breathy as his head dropped. You couldn't see his eyes, but by the way his eyebrows pinched you could tell they were screwed shut.

“What’s up with you?”

“Me?” Kung Lao laughed softly. “You just stripped in front of me, climbed into my bed and then grinded against me.” Your eyes winded and a soft breath passed your lips. “Not to mention you're wearing my shirt and it looks too goddamn good on you.”

Your cheeks burned in realisation. “Oh.”

You tried to slide back but his grip on your side tightened and you were thankful he wasn't looking anymore otherwise he would have seen your teeth sink into your lip to keep quiet. His hand loosened and he took a soft breath. “Just don’t move.”

“Why?”

Kung Lao dipped his head closer to yours, eyes dancing across your face but kept moving back to your lips. “Cause if you move I’m gonna kiss you and I’m not gonna stop.”

“Kiss me then.”

Kung Lao shook his head, his eyes moving from your face and this time you stared at him. The dip of his nose, his soft lips and his tongue that shot out to swipe across his pink lips. His eyes moved back to yours and your gaze fixed on his dark coffee eyes. “I’m not messing around,” He said, his voice dropping again.

You shook your head and your eyes drifted back to his lips. “Neither am I.” His grip loosened enough and you slipped one of your hands from his and traced the line of his cheekbone. You pulled him closer, and you raised your head off the bed, your nose crushing ever so slightly against his. “Kiss me Kung Lao.”

His eyes scanned over your face once more before dipped his head down to yours, connecting your lips and kissing you feverishly. His hand glided up your side, raising goosebumps across your skin as his fingers found your jaw, tipping your head up, his lips pressing harder against yours. Your teeth nipped his bottom lip, pulling a soft gasp from him. You slipped your tongue through his lips and he tried to pull you impossibly closer.

He shifted his hips, his thigh moving between yours to press his knee against you. A whine tore itself from your throat and your head fell back against the bed. You moved your hips against his knee and Kung Lao made a sound of approval as his lips trailed down your jaw and across your throat. His name fell from your lips in a soft moan and his knee worked harder against you.

“You sound so fucking pretty,” his words vibrated against your throat.

You hand tugged at the collar of his shirt and he lifted his head. “Take your clothes off, please.” Kung Lao complied, sitting back on his knees and pulling his shirt off. You pushed yourself up, your nails running across his abs as your lips attached to his throat, biting and sucking dark marks into his soft skin.

He pulled back for a moment to slip out of his pants and while you pulled your shirt over your head. He stood over you, his hands moving to hold your face as he kissed you softly. “You wanna stop, just tell me okay?”

“Don’t want you to stop,” You mumbled against his lips.

“Fucking hell angel.” He knelt by the bed, his large hand wrapping around your thighs and pulled you closer. He pressed small kisses to your thighs, nipping at your skin and leaving marks behind.

His hands trailed up your inner thighs, slipping under your shots and brushing against the soft fabric of your panties. “You don’t have to,” Your words trembled as his hands continued to tease too close to where you needed him.

“I want to, have to.” He pulled back to pull your shorts and underwear off at once. “I’m the best you’re gonna have, gotta prove it.” His hand trailed up your legs again, one hand moving to swipe through your folds. Your wetness clung to his fingers and he hummed, a cocky smile spreading across his cheeks. “Didn’t know I got you so worked up.”

“Don’t be a bitch, Kung Lao.”

He laughed and pressed a kiss to your navel, his lips dragging against your skin as his kisses grew lower. His name fell from your lips and his grip tightened, pulling you suddenly against his mouth. Your head fell back against the bed with a loud moan as his tongue began to lap at your pussy. He pulled your legs onto his shoulders, your hips angling so every time he moved his head his nose pressed against your clit.

Your hips moved to grind against his face but he held you tightly, stopping your squirming. Kung Lao chuckled against your clit, the vibrations running through you. Your hands shot down to his head, weaving your fingers through his hair to pull him closer against you. He finally released your hips to squeeze your thighs that had locked against his face. 

His strong tongue pressed against you, slipping over your entrance. The movements made you squirm and tremble as his name lipped from your lips, melding into your pleas and moans. You rolled your hips against his mouth, searching for more as your clit rolled against his tongue. 

Kung Lao’s hands dragged up your side, raising goosebumps at the slow touch. The soft whine that left your lips made his stomach tighten and made his cock twitch. He pressed his face further into your wet cunt, taking everything you gave him.

You could feel your end nearing, writhing against Kung Lao’s tongue as pressed harder against you. Then one his hands slid away and his fingers were at your entrance, gathering your slick on his fingers before gently prodding at your hole. A needy whine pours from your lips and Kung Lao chuckles, the vibrations running through you. His fingers slid inside you, your walls clenching around his as his fingers pressed against parts of yourself you could never reach. 

“Kung Lao,” Your voice was shallow and shaky as you called for him, trying to hold onto whatever control you had over yourselves. “Please, need more.”

“Not yet.” His reply was quick and muffled, still focused on the way your pussy pulsed around his fingers. “Need you to cum, need you to make a mess.”

His fingers curled inside you and your grip on his hair tightened, your breathing quicking as you tiptoed around the edge. His fingers sped up, becking you closer to the edge but it was the light graze of his teeth against your clit that had you cumming, your cunt clenching on his fingers like a vice. 

His hand still, gently grinding his fingers against your clit as he brought his head up, his own breath doubled as he panted softly. Your hands slid from his hair, falling to your sides as you tried to catch your breath, the shocks from your orgasm still burning with hot pleasure. Carefully Kung Lao removed his hand and stood, leaning over you, one hand pressed into the mattress. 

“You still with me?” Kung Lao teased, his forehead pressing against yours. You hummed lazily and grabbed his jaw, pulling him into a slow kiss. You only broke away when your hand grabbed his wrist, pulling his hand still coated in your juices towards your mouth. His eyes singled on your mouth as your lips wrapped around his fingers sucking him clean. He cursed, his dick jumping at the sight.

You gently pushed him back and stood on uneasy legs. He looked down at you, towering over you as your fingers traced his skin. You spun the both of you around and pushed him onto the bed. He landed on his back and quickly pushed himself onto his elbows. “What’re you doing baby?” You crawled back onto the bed, your leg swinging over his, your bare pussy landing on his still covered cock. His head dropped back slightly, the thin material doing little to hide how wet you were. “Fuck… you’re so warm.”

Your hips ground hard against his, his cock twitching and his elbows gave out. His head fell back groaning at the feeling but it turned into a soft whine as you slid back, pulling his underwear down. You tossed them aside and crawled back up his body, pulling him into a quick kiss before trailing kissed down his throat.

You reached for his heavy cock, pumping slowly. His breath hitched as your hand worked his long, thick cock, your hand so small against him. You sat straight, lining his cock at your entrance, your walls sucking in the tip so quickly it made Kung Lao let a breath moan. A soft whine of your name passed his lip as his hands came to your hips to pull you down but you slapped his hand softly. “Ah, what was that for?” He tried to sound menacing but his voice was so shaky.

You fared no better. The tip of his dick stretched you so well, pleasure and pain mixing in a seering burn that you couldn't help but love. Your hips lowered ever so slightly, your head rolling back as you gripped his wrist for support. “You’re so big, need to go slow,” Your voice was hushed, trying to hide the whines on the tip of your tongue.

Kung Lao chuckled softly, “You flatter me angel.” One of his hands left your hip to race light circles on your clit, trying to relax you to let him slip deeper. You leaned forward, taking a few more inches as you kissed him again. It barely counted as a kiss, messy and disorganised as you tried to distract yourself from the burn in your thighs. “You’re so fucking tight,” Kung Lao whispered, his lips moving to nip at your jaw. “Your tight, wet pussy stretching around me. Feels so good. I’m not even fully in you yet.”

Your eyes fluttered as his cock slipped deeper, your pelvis finally meeting his. He held your hips tight against his, pushing you back and forth slightly to grind you against his cock. The feeling of his cock pressing against your gummy walls had your eyes rolling back, needy whines escaping you as each roll of your hips. His cock knocked something so deep inside you, a long moan filling the room, “Fuck… can feel you- so good.” He didn’t know if it was the whines in your voice or the praise that spurred him on but his hips bucked up, trying to chase you. Another moaned sentence of how good you felt, how good he was fucking you fell from your lips, almost incoherent but the way your head dropped against his neck and hips stutted- Fuck!

Kung Lao grabbed your hips, rolling you underneath him. He pulled your highs up onto his hips, the angle of his cock shifting to press against your most sensitive spot. You clenched around him as he started to rock his hips deep inside you. “Fuck, so good.” His hand ran up your arm and to your hand to lace his fingers through yours, feeling you grip his hands so slightly. 

His grip on your hip tightened as his thrusts sped up, his pelvis hitting your clit as his cock reached so deep inside you. Your free hand held onto his back, your nails nipping his skin as his cock snapped harder against you, drilling into you like he was made for it. His cock dragged along your walls, cum creaming at the base of his dick as he fucked into you, lost in the promise of his own orgasm.

Your walls pulsed around him feeling so full as his cock rammed harder against you. Your nails ran down his back, leaving marks in his skin as you tried to ground yourself but your second orgasm was quickly approaching. “Lao-” Your voice cut short as Kung Lao pulled your hip higher onto his, your knee bending slightly.

“Gonna make me cum if you keep sayin’ my name like that baby,” Kung Lao whined against your neck. You turned your head to attach your lips to his, pulling him closer as you lost yourself in the pleasure, your pussy fluttering around him. He chuckled softly against your lips, his grip on your hand tightening, “You gon’ cum for me angel? Can feel you squeezing me tight.”

“Please,” You squeaked, your voice cracking, “Please.” His hand slipped from your leg to rub harsh and fast circles into your clit, needing to pull another orgasm from you before he would let himself go. You tried to warn him that your high was here but you couldn't form a sentence, babbling nonsense as he drew you closer to the edge.

Kung Lao pressed a final, heavy, hot kiss to your lips, “Cum for me, make a mess baby.” The pressure inside you snapped, your orgasm washing over you like a tidal wave. Your nails dug into his skin and your thighs squeezed his hips, trying to hold him close against you but his thrusts continued, fucking you through the plesure. 

He cursed, his grip hard enough that it would leave bruises. The squeeze of your tight walls against his sensitive cock made his head spin and his abs tighten, his own high clawing up his spine. He continued his thrusts but they grew sloppy, his hips instinctively bucking inside you. 

He tried to pull away but legs pulled him back in. You could barely form a sentence, your voice drowned in whines and moans, your mind lost to the blinding pleasure pulsing through you, “Pl- please! Need to feel you, need all- all of you!”

His head dropped to your shoulder, moaning softly as the tight feeling in his stomach let go, a pleasure that made his eyes screw shut taking over his body. He stilled against you, grinding his hips into yours to draw out both your orgasms. 

Kung Lao stopped his movements but was reluctant to move away from you, wanting to stay as close as possible. He pressed a few sweet kisses to your shoulder before he pushed his head from your shoulder, looking down at you. “You still mad I stole your shirt?” You teased, a soft chuckled playing at your lips. 

Kung Lao shook his head, “Keep stealing my shirts and you’ll end up like this every night.”

“That’s not as threatening as you think it is.” Kung Lao laughed, pressing a soft kiss to your lips before he pulled out, the both of you hissing at the feeling. Kung Lao helped you sit before cleaning you off, pressing soft kisses to the marks he left.

Kung Lao tossed you your clothes before pulling on his own pants. You reached for the grey shirt making Kung Lao laugh, “If you wanted round two you could have asked.” Kung Lao leaned over you, his hands pressing to either side of your body.

“Maybe I’m saving it for another time,” You teased, a smug smile pulling at your lips.

A knock at Kung Lao’s door made you both jump and you scrambled to pull on the shirt as Kung Lao called out a soft yes. Raiden opened the door, looking in but he kept a hand over his eyes as he stepped in. “Are you both done? I could hear you the second I walked in the front door.” Your cheeks burned in embarrassment and Kung Lao chuckled softly.

Raiden carefully took his hand away to look at you both, “Have some humility Lao,” Raiden chastised. “Put a shirt on, I brought dessert.” Raiden turned to close the door but stopped and turned back to Kung Lao, “And is this gonna be a proper thing? Because I think I’d much prefer to hear Kung Lao’s pinning then… that.”

Raiden closed the door without another word and you turned to Kung Lao, a small smile on your lips. “What’s he mean?”

Kung Lao sighed and dropped back against the bed, one hand moving to rest behind his head. “I don’t-” He cut himself off, closing his eyes. You laid next to him, resting your head on his shoulder. “I don’t want this to be a one time thing.”

“You know, I never expected to find someone like you,” you confessed, your fingers twirling his hair that had fallen from his bun.

Kung Lao's eyes crinkled with a hint of amusement, but his nervous tone was still present, "And what kind of someone did you expect?"

You chuckled, "Definitely not someone as incredible as you. I mean, you not only have these killer martial arts moves but also a heart that's surprisingly sweet."

Kung Lao's lips curved into a playful grin, "Well, don't let the hat fool you. It's not just for show."

You swung your leg over his hips, resting on his stomach. His hands immediately went to your hips, just resting there like they belonged. “We can go out tomorrow, talk about… this properly, but Raiden does have desert and that sounds pretty good right now.”

Kung Lao smiled and used one hand to push himself up, the other wrapping around you to keep you planted in his lap. His eyes wandered over your face, pausing on your bruised lips. “And if it wasn’t obvious,” You said softly, your lips drawing closer to his, “I really really like you Kung Lao. Ego and all.”

“Well, that's good, you can keep stealing my shirts then.”

ﾟ°☆Page navigation

[lincolndjarin]

Best Kept Secret

chapter twenty one : te mirci't

ao3 link ✿ series masterlist ✩ main masterlist ✧

pairing : bodyguard!Din Djarin x afab!princess!reader

rating : 18+ mdni

word count : 9.0k

summary : reader does a lot of thinking, and a lot of expressing of said thoughts

warnings, etc. : language, angst, canon typical violence, smut smut smut smut, p in v smut, food play sort of kind of, din djarin nearly creams his pants over the concept of domesticity, sort of a dom/sub thing, switch!reader & switch!mando, din has a breeding kink and it's addressed, reader has like zero chill this chapter, dirty talk, men whimpering (hooray!), light bondage, use of handcuffs, unprotected sex

a/n : ik y'all are hype about breeding kink din but i'm gonna real quick say that i will not throw in like a surprise pregnancy in this fic, cause it hasn't been tagged with that thus far and sometimes it irks me when i'm knee deep in a fic and suddenly the reader is pregnant without warning and it wasn’t tagged,, so yeah. it would be different if i advertised this as a pregnancy fic from the get go but i didn't so i'm not gonna spring that on people. (reader could still potentially end up pregnant at the END of the fic (possibly maybe who knows) but there will not be any surprise pregnancy, sorry!) that's it lmao, just wanted to throw that out there.

“It means I love you.” 

You aren’t entirely sure how long you stare at him, looking rather silly with your jaw practically on the floor. 

How many times has he said it without you even knowing? How long has he loved you? Maker, your mind is racing as you try to recall when the first time he said it would have been.

You’ve already said it to him. 

Albeit you didn’t realize what you were saying but you’d said those words to him. And hearing you say them had worked him up so much that he’d fucked you like it was his last night alive. 

He doesn’t seem to have much to say now that he’s dropped that bomb on you. You just stare at each other in this blistering silence for an eternity. Until the smell of burning has you shooting out of bed, scrambling towards the oven as you grab the lone oven mit off the counter, removing the smoking baking trays quickly, propping open the single window above the sink and tossing the ruined cakes under the faucet.

“Kriff.” You lean up against the counter, staring at where he’s currently getting up from the bed to join you. Are you a terrible person if you just ignore it? Because currently the last thing you want to do is think about it. “I’m gonna start a new batch, I lost track of time with this one.” You whisper towards him, never actually meeting that thin black line of his helmet. 

“You don’t have to say it back.” He whispers back to you, taking a seat at the table. 

You know you don’t have to. 

Honestly the pressure of having to say it is the least of your worries. The most troubling part of this situation is the question that now plagues you which is, do you love him? 

You rinse out the last batch of batter from the bowl before starting a new one.

You’ve always been so hesitant with him. Even from the start. You wouldn’t let yourself think about him, then you wouldn’t let yourself feel for him, care for him, want him. At one point you wouldn’t even let yourself like him. 

So to think about if you love him? 

The only thing you’ve ever let yourself do is hate him. And you never even really did that. 

“I didn’t mean to upset you.” He leans forward in his chair, his elbows resting on his knees. 

Shit. You’ve been quiet for too long.

“I’m fine, sorry, just… upset about the cakes.” You both know it’s a lie. But neither of you says a thing. He just nods. You work in silence, willing your mind to think of anything else as you scrape the burnt cake tin off into the sink before refilling it with the new batch of batter. As you slide the tin into the oven you turn, unable to face him you turn your gaze elsewhere, to the single shelf in his home. 

A few days ago when you were here it was covered in assorted pieces of metal and scrap. Now it’s mostly bare. In a desperate attempt to change the subject you walk over, picking up one of the few remaining scraps. 

“What happened to all your stuff? You hold a small metal ball between your fingers as he walks up behind you, resting his head on your shoulder as he leans down. You feel the chill of beskar against your skin. 

“I used it all.” He’s still being far too vague about all this and you frown, holding the ball up in front of his face. 

“You forgot this piece.” He takes it from you as you say it, you don’t remember him taking his gloves off but they are, his bare hands holding it like it’s a precious gemstone. 

“This isn’t a part of my secret project,” He murmurs, rolling the ball between his fingers. “this belonged to the kid.” 

You have to remind yourself not to pry, that you promised yourself you’d let him talk about it on his own. His free hand snakes around your waist as he stares longingly at the metal piece, you say nothing, giving him the option to go on if he wants. After a brief moment of pause, he continues. 

“I tried to buy him a proper toy. Just once. He used to play with this, I thought maybe he was just bored because we spent so much time on the Crest. On one of my jobs I stopped and got him this little stuffed frog toy.”

You think of the frog he picked up from the lake all those moons ago. A pang of sorrow in your chest.

Every time he talks about the kid it seems like he’s talking more to himself than to you, this time is no different. He adjusts himself, standing up straighter so his chin rests atop your head now. He sways you gently to a song that only he hears.

“He tried to eat the damn thing, I tried to explain that it wasn’t for eating but he didn’t seem to care. Once he realized I wasn’t gonna let him eat it he lost interest, threw it into the fresher and went off to find this again.” He sets the ball back onto the shelf and just holds you for a moment. Just when you’re about to reach down to touch the hand he’s resting on your stomach he speaks again, in a whisper, like he isn’t sure he wants you to hear what he’s saying. “I used to worry that he was bored. Spending so much time on the ship with just me, without any of the things a child usually grows up with.” His grip on your waist tightens. “I thought for the longest time that he’d be happier somewhere else. Now I wonder if maybe he was content with what we had.” 

The more you let him talk out his feelings the more you realize that deep down Din is one thing above all. 

Someone who doesn’t think he is deserving of love. 

You turn around in his grip so you’re facing him and don’t hesitate to wrap your arms around his waist, holding him tight. You might not be ready to tell him you love him but that doesn’t mean you can’t show him that he is cared for. He doesn’t move for a moment but eventually holds you back. 

He makes no effort to pull away so you don’t either. Staying like that until you have to get the cakes out of the oven before you burn another batch. He follows you in silence as you set the new batch on the table, he reaches for one and you smack his hand away. 

“You’re gonna burn your hand, stop that. And I still need to frost them.” 

You turn back to the book for the recipe, happy that the two of you seem to be in mutual agreement to not talk about the current situation. As you start pouring the sugar to make the icing you hear a hiss of air, on instinct you turn to face the noise, not realizing until it’s too late that you shouldn’t. 

You should feel regret.

But Maker, how could you. 

Your eyes fixed on the way he parts his plush lips to take the chunk of pastry he tore off into his mouth, his finger lingering on his bottom lip and that tongue. Darting out to lick his fingers clean. The way the corners of his mouth turn up ever so slightly. You know you shouldn’t look, he’s got the helmet pulled up just enough that you can see the tip of his nose which means he doesn’t even know you’re looking, there’s metal between his eyes and you. You can’t, this is so bad, shit. You just keep finding reasons to not look away, especially now that he’s smiling. You always thought his smile would be condescending, maybe a triumphant smirk, but it’s so… dorky. He’s got such a dopey grin.

Stars, he’s got a dimple. 

Are you still breathing?   

And you can finally see the facial hair you’ve only ever felt brush up against you. Surprisingly well kept, with a few small bare patches. You want nothing more than to lean forward and kiss each one of them but you’re quickly reminded of how bad this entire situation is as you hastily turn back around. Stirring the bowl in front of you, acting as if nothing happened. Only a few seconds after you’re facing the counter again do you hear the airlock reseal. 

You hear a sharp inhale and a part of you worries he knows you accidentally looked but he hisses again before cursing.

“Fuck, that’s hot.” You can hear him breathing heavily through his mouth into the modulator.

Thank the gods.

“I warned you.” You chastise him, turning around and pouring a generous amount of the cinnamon sugar icing onto each of the cakes while they’re still hot so it absorbs into them. “These need to sit overnight in the conservator.” 

“Okay, should I put them in now or when I get back tonight?” 

You know what he’s really asking. 

He wants to know if he’ll be staying with you or coming home alone.

The answer is obvious to you as you nudge the conservator open with your foot, sliding the tins onto one of the shelves. 

“I’ll do this now since you won’t be around to. Should we go?” You slip your shoes back on, watching as a bit of tension leaves his shoulders. 

“Sure.”

★

It’s a quiet walk back but it isn’t really uncomfortable. You just want to get him back to your room, where he’ll hopefully help you forget about this whole mess. 

You waste no time when you get to your chambers. You drag him to the closet, struggling to remove his armor, carefully setting each piece on the floor while he simultaneously lifts your shirt up over your head. Once you have every piece of beskar removed, you find yourself tumbling to the floor as he practically tackles you into the blankets. Both of you fumble for the lamp until finally you manage to flip the switch and it’s like he can’t get the helmet off fast enough because in what feels like a single second, you’re shrouded in darkness, you hear the the sound of air, a thud onto the ground, and his lips are on yours. 

You’re waiting for something more to happen, he’d been so urgent just a moment ago but now that you’re here he’s just kissing you.  

Of course you aren’t complaining. Every kiss with him feels like a blessing from the Maker themself. You’re just a little surprised. 

You had sort of hoped he had plans to ravage you solely for the purpose of distracting you from the question, still searing your every thought, demanding your attention. But instead he kisses you one last time before laying atop your chest, arms wrapped around you. You think about teasing him but there’s something cathartic about this. His willingness to just be with you without searching for more. So you let him.

And when he inevitably falls asleep, his monstrous snores filling the small space, you’re left alone with your thoughts. 

Well, thought. 

Do you love him? 

Do you want to love him? 

Loving him means too much. 

You tangle your fingers in his curls, in an attempt to soothe yourself. 

Loving him is complicated. It means you’ll have to finally answer the rest of the questions you don’t want to so much as think about.

Kids? Marriage? Kodo? Any sort of future.

Loving him puts him at risk. 

He’s always been at risk. His choice to love you meant putting his life on the line. Everyday he wanted to be yours was a day that he could be dragged off by one of your husbands unlimited guard members and killed. 

Loving him means understanding that you’re on a clock. A clock to get off of Naboo as quickly as possible, to somewhere far away to hunker down. To hide from the inevitable onslaught of search parties that would come after a missing royal. 

They’d send bounty hunters.

Kodo doesn’t even like you, but if you ran off with the man he hired to protect you? He would stop at nothing to get you back. The thought of what he would do to Din when he inevitably found the two of you makes your blood run cold. 

But you need to push those thoughts away. Yes, they are important but they shouldn’t impact your feelings. Because at the end of the day you either love him or you don’t. 

And you can’t even seem to figure that out. 

You’ve never been in love before, you don’t really have a frame of reference. 

You’ve certainly never felt for anyone the way you feel for him. 

Is that love? 

If you weren’t already married would you have said it back?

You aren’t even really a wife at this point. 

You’re a prisoner. 

You aren’t sure when he woke up but he brings you back to reality with a kiss to your chest. 

“You should be asleep, princess.” His voice is gravely, still thick with exhaustion. You run your hands along his vast shoulders in an attempt to soothe him back to sleep. 

“So should you.” You whisper into the darkness, he hums softly in response. 

It goes quiet again. His arms tighten around you and you know he remains awake, every so often he’ll place a chaste kiss to your breast. 

Would it be cruel to bring it up again?

At this point he doesn’t seem bothered in the slightest that you didn’t reciprocate the sentiment and you can’t keep fighting these battles alone. 

If you love each other, talking about these things is something you would do. 

It might be nice. To not be alone with these thoughts for once. 

“Din?” 

He hums again in response. You feel the scratch of his stubble against your chest as his head turns in your direction. 

You should let him sleep. Shut up and not bother him with this. 

“What does love mean to you?”

It’s such a corny question but you really are curious.

“What did you say?” For a moment you’re worried you’ve upset him but his tone makes you think he genuinely didn’t hear you. 

“What’s it like, to love someone?” 

He chuckles softly and a wave of relief washes over you. 

“That’s an awfully complicated question, cyare.”

“Okay, then, how did you know?” You purposefully avoid saying the words, “that you loved me.” 

“It sort of snuck up on me. It started my first week with you, when being with you started feeling less like a job and more like an honor.” 

Does he have to be so good with words? Even in this state, barely awake, he manages to be a goddamn poet. 

“Eventually it got to a point where I couldn’t ignore it anymore.” He mumbles his words into your skin. 

“When was that?”

“When you gave me a birthday.” 

Right before he had ended things. 

You don’t have to ask to know now that that's why he did it. 

“And that was when you were sure?”

“Yes. That was when I knew I loved you.” 

If he’s upset about you not saying it back he doesn’t make it known, he says it so casually.

“What does it feel like?” You run your fingers along the scar on the back of his head. 

“It feels like being afraid. There is a certain vein of fear that I had never known prior to meeting the kid, when I los-“ He hesitates. “When he left, I didn’t think I’d ever feel that fear again.” He sighs. “When I met you I learned how to be afraid all over again.” 

You sort of understand that feeling.

You felt it when you thought Kodo knew. And you felt it when you imagined Kodo’s reaction to your hypothetical children with Din. 

You felt it just moments ago. When you asked yourself if you loved him. 

“It’s like all the air leaves the room, replaced with terror. That terror eats away at everything until there’s nothing left.”

All you can think of is the night you found him in the hallway, and you’re certain you’ve never felt that level of fear.

“It’s not all fear though. I assume it’s different for everyone but the fear is only a part of it. For me it mostly feels like devotion and temptation. I know what it is to be devoted, for decades I followed my creed without question, and when I finally did abandon it, it was a matter of life and death, fueled by that fear.”

He sounds half asleep as he says it, like he’s telling himself a bedtime story, and you don’t dare interrupt. 

“That’s how I feel about you, except in your case, nothing could make me question my devotion to you, not even a matter of life and death. And as far as temptation goes…” He laughs quietly to himself. “I was unfamiliar with that feeling before you.”

“Temptation?” You whisper to him.

“When will you understand what you are to me, sarad’ika?” He sits up a little, you can’t see him but you feel his nose bump against your jaw as he rests his face in the crook of your neck.

“I know how you feel about me, you tell me quite often.” You’re only half-joking.

“Not how I feel about you, what you are to me. You are so much more than the one I never meant to love, I swear you were created just to tempt me.” You let your hand rest on the nape of his neck as he absentmindedly brushes his lips up against your throat. “If you asked me to remove my helmet, I would.” He murmurs against your throat. 

That’s a rather serious claim.

“You could have asked me from the moment I met you. It took time for me to realize I loved you but I have always, been sworn to you.” His fingers trail up and down your torso. “From the moment I first saw you, when you tried to remove my helmet, I promised myself that if you ever tried again, that I wouldn’t stop you.

Maker. 

How the fuck do you respond to that?

“We can talk more in the morning. Get some sleep.” He kisses your temple and lays back down against your chest.

He can be annoyingly eloquent when he wants too. You can’t help but wish you were as capable of putting your feelings into words the way he does. Seriously, how are you supposed to top, “When I met you I learned how to be afraid all over again.” 

Maybe tomorrow you could try and show him how much he means to you. Since you can’t seem to find the right thing to say, and even if you could he’s already asleep again, snoring at an ungodly volume like he didn’t just profess his profound love to you.

But talking to him helped, from how he describes it, you might just love him too.

★

This morning is much more coordinated than your last. 

Din wakes you up before the girls arrive. You have plenty of time to pick out one of the simpler pink gowns in your collection, along with a matching pair of slippers. You leave him there with plenty of time to spare. 

The girls don’t question it this time either. Neither of them tries to go into the closet and they waste no time dressing you. Lysa finds you a nice pink nightie from the dresser but you honestly aren’t all that thrilled about it this time around.

It’s getting harder and harder to care about this. 

Being dressed up like a doll every day.

Din certainly doesn’t care about what you look like so why even bother at this point? You’re antsy to get back to him and you’re about to hastily thank and dismiss the girls as they finish but Elaine speaks first. 

“Princess, would you join me for tea this morning?” 

You have no logical reason to refuse and you do enjoy time spent with Elaine.

You just want to be with Din.

But you can’t tell her that. 

“Certainly, shall I meet you in the gardens again?” 

“I will see you there, my lady.” Both girls give you small bows before leaving. Only a few seconds after they’re gone the closet door opens and there stands your Mandalorian. He makes his way to you, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close.

“Shall I escort you to the gardens, my lady?” He leans down a bit so your eyes are level with the line of his visor.

“Lead the way.”

It’s a short walk and you’re once again surprised by how quickly Elaine has set things up, a table and chairs wait for you in the gazebo.

“Do you think you could find something to do for a few minutes on your own?” You say quietly enough that you know only he can hear it as you approach. 

He doesn’t respond but as you step into the gazebo he doesn’t follow you in, once you’re seated he walks off into the garden. 

“Seems like things are better between the two of you?” She pours you a cup, making it the way you like it before handing you the saucer. 

“Much better.” You smile as you take a sip. 

“May I speak freely ma’am?” She sets her cup down and crosses her arms, staring at you. Her tone has gotten so serious so suddenly you’re a bit stunned. 

“Of course.” 

“Lysa and I stopped coming to help you undress in the evenings many moons ago, we stopped waiting for you to summon us.” 

What a strange thing to say. 

“Okay?” Is all you can manage, still unsure as to what she could possibly mean by that statement. 

“Well, my lady, we just assumed you didn’t need the help anymore…” She stares at you expectantly but you’re still giving her a confused look. “You know…” Her eyebrows are raised but you just shake your head slowly, giving her a blank stare. “With getting undressed.”

Oh.

Oh.

Not much you can really say about that, she’s right, and you hadn’t even noticed because someone else was undressing you. Still, she can’t expect you to outright admit that. 

“I don’t need you to say a word, my lady, I just needed to talk to you, to warn you.” Something about her tone makes you shiver, even out here in the sun. 

“About?” 

“You’ve been reckless, princess.” You set your cup down. 

“Spit it out Elaine, you’re making me nervous.” You laugh anxiously but her expression remains stern.

“Kodo won’t take your absence from dinner lightly. And you’ve been too blatant about your friendship with the Mandalorian. You should act with more caution.” 

Well, you had wanted her to be blunt, you can’t be too shocked about that. 

“He is not a man who takes kindly to disrespect. He will retaliate if you aren’t careful, that’s all.” You nod as she takes a sip of her tea.

That’s all she says on the subject, quickly moving on to another topic.

Her warning was genuine and you’re thankful for it but you push it from your mind. You will right this wrong and attend dinner with Kodo this week.

★

Tea is short after that.

You aren’t in the mood for small talk anymore, you just want to spend the rest of the day with Din.

You whisper a genuine thanks to her before she departs, and you rush over to where he stands in the flowers.

“Cabin?” He asks. Thankfully he doesn’t risk holding your hand in broad daylight but he lets his knuckles brush against yours. 

“Cabin.” You follow him towards the pond and once you’re close enough he scoops you up into his arms to keep you out of the water. “Din! What if someone sees?” You whisper yell at him, eyes scanning the vacant gardens. 

“This isn’t any less damning than you walking in on your own. Besides, no one’s around, promise.” He pushes open the door before setting you down, locking up behind the two of you. “I’ve lived here for long enough to know that nobody comes out this far except us. Now, what do you want for the rest of the day?” He kicks off his boots and you set your slippers next to them.

It’s past noon at this point, you have nothing planned. 

“Do you want to just stay here? I think today I just want to stay here.” You walk over to the bed, lifting your skirt and taking a seat. 

“Works for me, I’m going to get some chores done if you don’t mind.” He removes his gloves, tossing them on the table before kneeling beside the dresser. 

“I don’t mind at all.” You scoot back a bit to rest against the wall, you’re actually quite curious to see what he’ll do, and you need time to think of how you’re going to show him how much he means to you. 

You watch as he takes out different weapons and tech that you don’t recognize. He tosses his gloves to the side and starts methodically cleaning every item. 

You’re sort of hypnotized by his attention to detail, it lets you think.

What does he like? 

Green, you, the kid, classic ships. 

None of those things can really show him how much he means to you though. 

He’s setting different things aside as he finishes any maintenance required, every so often he looks up at you before returning to his work. You feel a little useless just sitting here so you get up to take the cakes out of the conservator. 

Suddenly you have his attention. 

You don’t dare say a word, letting him just observe in peace. He drops whatever he’s working on, you don’t look but you can feel his visor trained on you. 

You take the tins out, setting them on the table before finding a dull knife. Each cake is small enough that you can fit your hands around each tin if you hold your fingers in the shape of a circle. You carve each cake out of its tin and he watches you intently the entire time, you can see him in your peripherals. 

So he likes… watching you do a shitty job at taking cakes out of tins?

It’s crass but you go through the list of things that have worked him up before. Things you’ve said to get him to give you what you want during sex. 

Two instances come to mind. 

The time you unknowingly said I love you.

And then last night, when you told him he could finish inside you.

And now? Your head tilts up just in time to watch him adjust himself in his trousers before sheepishly tuning back to his work when you catch him watching you. It takes a second but eventually things start to click.

He likes watching you look at home in his cabin. He likes the intimate feeling of a simple life. Watching you bake, saying I love you, having kids. 

Things a normal couple might do. 

He tosses something up onto the bed, you stare at it for a moment as he starts putting other things back into the dresser.

Handcuffs. 

Thick, padded, and metal. 

You know he intends on using them on you but you act fast, hurrying over to him, taking his hand. 

“What are you doing mesh’la?” He chuckles as you sit him down on the bed.

This is gonna be a shot in the dark, but if you’re confident enough, (and right) it’ll be worth it.

“Just, let me take care of you.” 

“You already take care of me.” He insists, starting to get up but you firmly plant your hands on his shoulders, pushing him back down. Your plan is rapidly forming in your mind.

“I mean it, now stay put.” He sighs loudly but nods, tilting his head to the side in confusion. No sense in being coy, might as well be clear with your intentions to see if he’s actually into it. “Don’t be a baby, I know you get off on this kind of thing.” The moment you say it he scoffs but you’re already across the room, taking one of the little cakes and putting it onto a plate. 

“Excuse me?” “His voice is already terribly defensive but you just laugh it off. 

“You’re not the only one who can make observations. You think I didn’t notice the way your tone switched when I offered to bake for you?” He starts to argue but you cut him off. “And I’m definitely not going to ignore how quickly you came when I told you you could finish inside of me.” That surprisingly shuts him up. This might actually be the only time you’ve caught him so off guard that he doesn’t have a response. 

You bring the plate over to the bed, setting it on his nightstand.

“You like domesticity.” You lean in to whisper to him. “You want me to take care of you, don’t you Mr. Tough Mandalorian?” You can’t gauge his reaction because of the helmet but you can gauge the tent in his pants perfectly fine. 

“Djarin.” He certainly doesn’t sound stern now. 

“Djarin?”

“Din Djarin.” You hadn’t even realized until just now that you didn’t know his last name. 

You straddle one of his thighs, spreading his legs with your knees.

“Well then, let me take care of you, Din Djarin.” You like the way his name feels in your mouth and based on the way his cock twitches against your leg you’d reckon he does too. 

He’s always been so open with you and you’ve always kept him at a distance. 

Right here right now, if you weren’t dealing with the worst possible circumstances (your husband), you know that you’d tell him you love him, that you ache for him, that you know fear because of him. You know you love him. And you’re pretty sure he knows it too.

You just aren’t ready to say it. 

So you’ll have to show it. (And maybe say a few things that you are ready to say.) 

You love each other, at the end of the day you can’t keep censoring yourself when you think about him, he doesn’t deserve that. 

You want to show him what he deserves. 

You reach behind him and grab the cuffs. As you do his hands wrap around you to tug at your corset strings, an act that he’s getting rather good at. 

“You gonna put those on for me, mesh’la?” He drawls. Once he’s loosened your corset enough so that you’ll be able slip out of it you lean back again.

“No.” You grin at him and he immediately shakes his head. 

“Absolutely not.” He says the moment you start smiling.

“You’re always in charge, just let me be in charge, I’m doing this for you.” You grab one of his wrists but he easily pulls it away. 

“You were in charge last time.”

True, but irrelevant.

“Do you love me?” You stick your bottom lip out a little. 

“You’re terrible.” 

“I know.” But it works, because when you grab his wrist again he doesn’t pull away. 

“You know I can get out of these right? Very easily.” He says, watching you close the first cuff around his wrist, removing the belt around his torso and the one around his waist. 

“I know that too, but you love me, so you’re going to leave them on until I take them off.

“This feels less like you’re taking care of me and more like I’m your prisoner.” He mumbles. 

“Oh hush, you’d be happy either way.” Once again he seems at a loss for words as you cuff his other wrist, he sets his hands in his lap. You smooth out the fabric of his cowl before carefully removing it, folding it and walking it over to the table and setting it down. “I’ll make you a deal.” You say, turning back to face him. “If you don’t like it then I will stop and we can do this your way. But if you don’t then I will assume I was right, and you do want me to take care of you.” You straddle his thigh again and play with one of the releases on his chest plate.

“You’re being purposefully vague. What does taking care of me entail?” The impatience on his voice trails off as you start releasing his chestplate, finding the little locks, undoing them one by one. 

“Well… I just think that you like certain things, and I think you’re too embarrassed to admit it.”

“What things?” 

You click the last release and remove his chest plate, walking over to the dresser to set it down carefully before returning.

“You like that I baked for you.” You remove his gauntlets, setting them on his nightstand.

“Who wouldn’t like that?” You swear you almost hear him stutter. 

“Oh but I think you really like it. Because you know I did it just for you.” You remove his pauldrons and kneel between his legs to remove the pieces of armor on his thighs. “You like when I hold you, you like seeing me here, in your home, in your bed.” You slide his remaining armor down his legs, setting them aside before standing again and spreading his thighs with your knees to slot yourself between them, your hands grip the edges of his helmet. 

“Can I?” You whisper. 

After a moment's hesitation he nods. 

Your fingers snap the airlocks and you gently lift. 

Before closing your eyes you allow yourself one peek. 

You’re graced with a bashful smile, and you know that it’s okay, so you squeeze your eyes shut and completely remove the helmet, setting it on the bed beside him. Almost as if on instinct he leans forward and you feel his lips on yours as you gently push him back. 

“Let me do it, Din.” You laugh softly. “You don’t have to do everything.” You lean forward this time, hands on either side of his face, running your tongue over that bottom lip you wish you could see. “I’m going to take my dress off.” You mumble into his mouth before pulling back, you turn around and quickly slide your gown down your body, you grab the plate on his bedside table before closing your eyes and turning back around. His restrained hands play with the front of your nightie. 

“What are you-” His unfiltered voice is like warm honey, deep and raw, but you silence it by putting two fingers from your freehand to where you assume his mouth is. He starts to speak again so you gingerly slide your thumb between his lips and you hear any more questions he might have flicker out. 

“Can you go more than five minutes without asking me a question?” The moment you say it his lips purse like he’s going to ask again, you place your thumb over his tongue. Once you’re certain he isn’t going to interrupt your actions again you remove your hand from his face and tear a chunk of the cake off of the plate. “Open.” You laugh softly as you bring your hand towards his mouth, he immediately starts to protest again but you take the opportunity to stuff the pastry into his mouth, you get lucky and actually manage to get it in on the first try. 

If you’re being honest, you aren’t completely sure if this is going to work. You’re still acting on a hunch. A very presumptuous hunch, that deep down he wants nothing more than a quiet, soft life. 

A home. 

Unless of course you’re wrong. In that case you’re going to be rather embarrassed. Which is starting to be a worry as you realize he isn’t moving, two of your fingers just barely past his lips, he still hasn’t moved and you fell you nerves starting to get the best of you, just as you’re about to withdrawal and apologize for the entire silly affair, his lips close around your fingers. You can’t help but gasp at the feeling, accidentally taking a step back in surprise.    

His fingers immediately grasp at what fabric they can on your undergarments, trying to pull you closer again. You’re about to say something smug, along the lines of “I told you so.” But you’re stopped dead in your tracks.

Because Maker, he whimpers. 

You let him tug you back between his legs. The cold metal of the cuffs brushes against your thighs. 

You reach down and tear off another chunk of the cake, his bound hands guide you back to his mouth, which you're shocked to find is still open as you gently feed him. This time you don't flinch back, his lips close around your fingers and his tongue licks them clean.

This is the temptation he spoke of. 

You respect his creed. You’ve sort of taken your own creed, a vow to yourself not to look. But right now it takes all of your restraint to not look. Nothing could possibly make you happier than knowing what he must look like right now, lips wrapped around your fingers, trying to pull you closer. 

But just like him, you resist those temptations, finally pulling your hand away. 

“I told you I’d take care of you.” You whisper, a slight teasing edge to your voice.

“You’re a strange woman, sarad’ika.” He whispers back.

“So you don’t like this?” You tear off a piece for yourself, popping it into your mouth, feeling the icing coat your tongue. You bask in his silence before picking up the remaining pastry, gently feeding him, tossing the plate blindly onto the bed.

The only answer you need to your question is the way his tongue drags across your palm when he’s finished, you waste no time after that to push him down into the mattress. Letting your lips find his.

His mouth tastes just like it did the first time you kissed.

Vanilla. 

His arms go over your head, trapping you in his embrace. 

“Tell me I was right.” You pull back from him, grinning.

“I wouldn’t exactly go so far as to say that you were right.” His mouth latches to your chin, peppering a trail of kisses back up to your lips but you pull further back, as far as his arms will let you, eyes still shut.

“You’re a terrible liar, you know that right? Because about thirty seconds ago you were quite literally eating out of the palm of my hand.” He continues trying to kiss you to silence you but you keep turning your head to the side, he settles on your jaw eventually. 

“That doesn’t prove anything, I’ve barely eaten anything today, maybe I was just hungry.” He mumbles against your skin. 

“Mhmm, sure. Are you sure you don’t like playing house? I think you like imagining me as Mrs. Djarin.”

Whoops. Where the hell did that come from? 

“Don’t say that.” His voice isn’t playful anymore as he sits up, keeping you in his lap. 

“Kriff, I’m sorry Din, that was too fa-” You hear a metal thud behind you on the floor and his hands are no longer cuffed, they hold your waist now. 

“If you don’t mean it, don't joke about that.” His breath is hot on your face and his grip on you tightens. 

If you don’t mean it. 

So you were right. 

Your mind screams at you to be rational. You have a husband, there are a million reasons to apologize and to move on from this. 

Stop using the husband that was forced upon you as an excuse.

You can’t keep holding back when it comes to Din. It isn’t fair to him. Not when he gives you everything. 

“If I do mean it, can I joke about it?” Your voice is the quietest it’s been all day. 

He takes your hands and brings them up to his face, so you can feel him nod. 

“I’ll keep joking about it if you tell me I’m right. I’ll joke all night long.” You laugh a little as he brings one of your hands to his mouth so he can kiss your wrist. 

“You’re right.”

You can’t help yourself.

“About?” 

“I like this.” He drags his lips down your arm before dropping it. “I like when you take care of me.” 

“Turn the lights off.” He doesn’t hesitate once you say it, the curtains are all already closed 

Once the lights are off he flips you onto your back, you hear everything on the bed clatter to the floor as he tosses it aside.

His bed is lower than yours so his hands grab you by your hips, lifting your bottom half into the air a little, making you squeak in surprise. 

“Tell me another joke.” He says under his breath as he spreads your legs so he can grind his still clothed erection against you. 

“I thought you were going to let me take care of you?” You scoff at him, hearing his zipper.

“I am,” You gasp as he drops you back down onto the mattress, climbing on top of you. “I’m letting you tell me jokes.” You can practically hear his grin as he guides the blunt head of his cock into your folds. Lazily rubbing it against your clit and leaning down to whisper to you. “You started this with all your talk, is that all it was? Talk? I thought you said you meant it?”  

You’re trying to remember how he got the upperhand so quickly but it’s hard to concentrate when he keeps nudging himself against your most sensitive spot.

Everything always happens so fast with him, just once you’d like to turn things around on him and have it work.

“I-I meant it.” Is all you really manage to get out, he brings his cock down a bit to tease your entrance, never actually pushing in. His voice has that condescending tone to it that tells you he’s willing to play this game for a while and you hadn’t really factored in just how aroused you’d get during your display a few minutes ago. You’re soaked and there’s a good chance he’s going to draw this out in retaliation. He swipes his tip back up to your clit, the both of you hiss in unison. 

You still have one ace up your sleeve as you recall your conversation from last night. 

“So you liked one of my offers?” 

“I might have been interested in one of them”

One thing you know he wants. 

“Come on, sarad’ika. Where are your jokes?” He chuckles against your skin as he kisses your shoulder. 

“I was just trying to think of a baking joke. Can you give me a second?” You gasp out as his free hand reaches underneath you to squeeze your ass before coming up to rest on your hip. 

“I know you can do better than a baking joke.” You can feel him grin against you now, his teeth lightly graze your shoulder.

“It’s a shame, you would have liked it.” He goes back to teasing your entrance, pressing himself into you just enough to make you squirm but not enough to actually be inside you. You try to shift your hips downwards but his hand keeps you pinned in place. 

“I liked your jokes about Mrs. Djarin.” 

It’s now or never.

“Well you liked my cooking as well, so I thought I’d make a joke about a bun in the oven, you’d like that wouldn’t you? Filling me u-”

His hips buck forward and his grip on you tightens to the point of a sharp pain. To seemingly both of your surprises, in an instant he’s buried nearly to the hilt in your heat. 

“Maker, Din!” You’re gonna have a brand new set of bruises tomorrow. 

“Sorry! I, fuck- sorry.” He’s grunting in your ear, not bothering with your shoulder anymore, burying his face into the pillow next to your head. 

“Dank farrik, Din…” You’re reeling from the sudden motion, your head tilted back into the mattress. You need to catch your breath but the muffled groans coming from him distract you. The sting from the sudden stretch you're experiencing is quickly fading and you bring your hands up to his head, one resting in his hair and the other at the nape of his neck. 

He wanted to make this a game so you’re going to play, and you’re going to win.

You’re still panting a little as you turn your head to the side so you can whisper into his ear. 

“Stars Din, it’s that easy to get you worked up, huh?” His breathing is starting to level out, his grip on you lightens up. “I thought I was easy to rile up but look at you, all this just at the thought of a bun in the oven.” 

He isn’t making noise anymore, he’s still against you, listening intently as you run a soothing hand down his spine and back up again. 

“I can’t imagine what you’re going to be like when you actually get me pregnant.” 

You’re surprised by your own words, like your brain is on auto-pilot and you can’t filter yourself but he fucking whines so you don’t care in the slightest. High pitched and needy, muffled by the pillow. His hips start slowly rocking into you and you bite back your moan, wanting to maintain your advantage. 

You tangle your fingers into his hair, pulling his head out of the pillow, savoring the whimper that comes from his as you do.

“Oh come on, you can’t even  handle the thought of it?” You breathe out the words and his head falls downwards as you release him, he bites your shoulder. “What does it for you?” He unclenches his jaw, starting to bury his face back into the pillow but you pull him back up again.

“Is it just the idea of finishing in me?” 

He doesn’t answer, to be fair you’re barely holding it together either at this point.

“Or do you just want everyone to know I’m yours? Want everyone to see that you knocked me up?”  

You get your answer with that because he’s trying to bury his face back into the pillow. A low wail leaves his lips as he frantically ruts into you. How quickly everything’s escalated has you hurtling towards your climax and you can tell by the desperate whine that leaves his lips as he presses them into your collar bone that he won’t be far behind. 

“I know you can do better than that, Din.” You mock his tone from earlier but he’s unfazed, pounding into you until finally you can’t tease him anymore because he’s reduced you to gasps and moans.

It doesn’t take long after that. 

One after the other.

You first, when his hand travels downwards, it takes only a few precise circles rubbed into your clit and your grip tightens in his hair, your walls flutter around him.

Just like that he’s going over the edge with you.

He pulls out, finishing on your stomach. 

You shouldn’t feel upset but there's the tiniest bit of disappointment as you feel his cum against your skin. 

He collapses onto the bed next to you, pulling you into his arms.

“I love you.” He presses a kiss into your hair. 

“I know.” 

★

You sit in the quiet dark for a long while, until finally, you have to ask.

“Do you actually want kids someday?” Your voice breaks the silence of the pitch-black room. “Little Djarin’s running around?” 

He rolls over so he’s hovering above you now.

“Are you trying to start round two?” He chuckles, resting his forehead against yours, your nose bumps against his. “I’ll need a few more minutes before I can go again, sarad, but I can keep you occupied until then.” He kisses you quickly, already starting to move his mouth south but you stop him. 

It’s so effortless right now. To be happy with him, in the darkness, pushing away thoughts of royal responsibilities. Letting yourself be with just Din, even if it’s brief. 

“I’ll take that as a yes?” You ask.

“Yes. Someday.” He kisses your sternum, laying down on your chest.

“With me?” 

“No, with Elaine.” You smack the back of his head when he says it, he laughs against your skin. “Yes, with you.” 

You let him lay on top of you as you nod to yourself. 

“Is it weird that everytime we have sex it turns into a competition?” He starts to laugh once more as you say it.

“It’s weird that you keep losing.” 

You smack him again.

★

Your peaceful break from reality is brief, as always, as you sit up. 

“We have to go. I can’t be out all night.” The last thing you want to do is return to your room right now, you want to stay here, the cabin feels more like home than any room in the castle ever has. 

He seems as unhappy with this as you are. The two of you dress in silence once he flicks the lamp back on, you turn around until you hear him reattach his helmet. 

You hold his hand on the walk back. You don’t have much to say right now, you’re certain at this point that you’ve made it clear that you love him.

That you just aren’t ready to say it. 

And he doesn’t seem to mind. 

You’re ready to just sleep. Your blanket nest seems more and more inviting the closer you get to the castle. 

The two of you sneak in through the back entrance and as always the castle is quiet at night. You keep your hand in his as you make your way up the steps. 

It isn’t until you get to the hallway where your chambers are located that you hear it. 

A persistent banging sound and someone yelling incomprehensibly. 

Din immediately drops your hand. 

Neither of you speaks as you walk but he shifts himself so he’s walking ahead of you, as you get closer you recognize the distinct, nasally voice. 

In the dim light of the hall you see Kodo, banging on your bedroom door.

“Wife, come now, you can’t ignore me, I’m your husband.” He hisses, you can smell the alcohol on him from here.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

“Kodo, are you okay?” You plaster on a faux look of concern as you approach, Din tries to put his hand up to stop you but you ignore it. 

He turns to stare at you, his clothes are askew and he isn’t even wearing his crown. 

“Wife! Where have you been?” He slurs, leaning in for a kiss that you sidestep, he doesn’t seem bothered by your rejection. 

“I went on a walk.” You answer quickly and he takes hold of your waist, you try not to look too repulsed.

“You skipped dinner yesterday, dear wife.” He teeters a bit, leaning towards you as you again try to avoid his kiss but this time he holds you firmly in place, it’s sloppy and you have to wipe a bit of spit from your face after.  

“I did, I wasn’t feeling well.” Your voice is getting smaller and smaller as you feel fear bubbling in your chest.

“Where are your guards?” There’s no respect in Din’s voice, no “your highness” or “your grace.” No one speaks to Kodo that way, not even you, but he’s too drunk to even notice. 

“I dismissed them, as is customary when one is visiting his bride’s chambers.” Kodo lurches forward, his hands sloppily grope the fabric of your skirt and you make an audible groan of discomfort. 

“We should get you back to your own chambers, come now dear husband.” You try to sound patient, you know he’s capable of violence and you don’t want to push him in this state.

“Why would we do that, wife? Come now, tonight I shall join you in bed. I missed you last night.” He hisses the words and you know he didn’t miss you in the slightest, this is a punishment.

This is what you get for disobeying. 

For skipping your dinner with him.

This is the inevitable thing that has made you unable to tell Din you love him. This looming promise of Kodo.

There’s nothing you could possibly do right now to escape the fate before you. The fear you feel right now is certainly not the fear of love that Din described to you. 

But that quickly changes.

You don’t get a chance to react as Din takes a step between you and Kodo, he doesn’t even wind up, he just drives his fist forward and you hear the sickening crunch of your husband's nose just before he slumps to the floor. 

As you stare at Din, you know your fear has changed. His shoulders heaving, his rage fills the corridor as you listen to his ragged breaths through the modulator. He turns around to face you, but you just stare at his hand, where the evidence of this potentially deadly mistake is dripping down his fingertips. You have never been more terrified for another person's life the way you are right now for Din. 

You’re mesmerized by the little speckles of your husband's blood, a stark contrast to the yellow fingertips of his gloves.

And suddenly it feels like all the air leaves the corridor as you finally look into his visor, you don’t see Din though, all you see is what they’re going to do to him for this.

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[rise-my-angel]

Melancholy Interlude

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Length: 16k

Warnings: angst/hurt comfort with happy ending, mentions of past trauma, discussing death of loved ones, smut, oral (f receiving), p in v, cockwarming, showering together, massaging, body insecurity,

Notes: This was supposed to be shorter at 8k until I doubled that in one day cus I can't help myself. I'm so sorry. Direct continuation of Haunted Anguish, next chapter here, apart of the Confused Warmth storyline.

You had never been sure how permanent your life in Jackson would be. It started as whispers you didn't quite believe, yet you found yourself leaned against the wall that evening, one hand holding up a map. It said laid out on your bent knee making pencil scratching on it while your flashlight was bit between your teeth for any kind of a light source. You never gave much thought to why your life was directed to that town specifically. Back then it was just another name, another place you didn't even know would still be standing when you got there. 

But Joel had called you family. A man grappling to accept his own place in this life, trying desperately to pull you along with him. Create a new family together that all three of you could live with. The only family you had ever known before was nothing more then a mystery. People who you had been been ripped away from before you could understand who you were to them. 

Perhaps that's why as you were struggling to pack up the last of your belongings. Leaving this small, isolating house meant having a new permanent place in Joel and Ellie’s family, but honestly? You weren’t quite sure what family was even supposed to feel like. Memory of what family felt like was filled with confusion and silence, the exact opposite of what Joel was trying to coax out of you. 

So you sat there in your once comforting old house, back against the thin metal bed frame as your feet were planted flat on the ground, one knee bent towards you much like the night before you chose to come here. Your nails dug into your lip as the other hand tapped against the leg laying down. Trying to decide what of your old life deserved to be brought into this one, and how much it would make Joel pull away from you if you still couldn’t let go of it. 

The thud of footsteps had your head rising in attention. Eyes wide with a pound of your heart causing you to scramble up to turn around and pretending to sort through the scattered items on the bed. A bag laid open and begging for you to just choose what to bring with you already, as you had no doubt Joel was about to comment on how empty it was. 

Steps coming towards the room, you caught partially imagine the sight behind you. Joel’s large frame taking up most of the door as he had one arm rested up high on the wood, with the other hung onto a belt loop on the same side his leg stood bent to the side. Turning your head just the slightest to the side, there Joel stood exactly as you pictured. 

A small moment of amusement just strong enough to pull a smirk on your lips before you turned back to the pile before you. Warmth enveloped your back as he placed a resting hand over it, leaning over your shoulder with a squint at your progress. “You’re going to end up kicking me out of my own room, bringing all that with you.” 

His chin jutted out to the bag just as you predicted. Your shoulders shrugged, not yet looking at him while you fiddled with the clothes you folded and refolded. “Just don’t want to take up space is all.” 

A rumbling hmm vibrated against your back from deep in his chest. Instead of responding, Joel just reached around you and grabbed the pile in one hand and tossed it unceremoniously into the bag. A plop of fabric slumped into the insides while Joel continued to reach and pull your small survival kit in front of you. 

Sparing a glance you were taken back to find Joel’s stark brown eyes already boring into your own. He only waited for a raise of your eyebrows to dismiss your complaint. “If that’s you taking up space I’d hate to see what the bare minimum would be.” 

You watched his body leave your side and the radiating warmth along with it as he leaned his body up against the adjacent wall. Arms crossed as he refused to take his eyes off you. “How many times am I going to have to remind you that I asked you to move in. Not the other way around.” 

The sigh that left your body was heavy, deflating your shoulders more if such a thing were even possible. Your nails dug into the skin of your fingers as you fiddled with them. “It’s just, moving in is supposed to be this big deal isn’t it?” 

That was a cope and you both knew it. So you kept not looking at him as if he couldn’t call your bluff if he didn’t see your face. Joel however, didn’t have the patience for this game. “Not sure I’d call saving you the 5 minutes it takes to walk to my house every morning, that you barley even have to do anymore anyways, a big deal.” 

He got a smirk out of you again. Joel had basically kept you at his house for the past week and a half like you already lived there. The only reason he brought up finally moving the rest of your stuff in today was only when you woke up this morning realizing you’d have to wear Joel’s stuff just to wash all of your own. 

You’re flat response of, “What? You suddenly decide you don’t want me wearing your clothes anymore?” Didn’t go unscathed. Only getting you a slap to your ass as Joel walked by you, muttering something under his breathe about you being a brat. If that man had his way, you’d live in his stuff just to satisfy his greedy eyes. 

Now though, your mind was flaring with hangups. The once worrying thought of invading in their lives creeping up on you. Only this time you had no excuse. You both knew he wanted you with him, and deep down you wanted it too. But being a father to Ellie was new, and you didn’t want to get in the way of it. 

Dropping the things in your hand, you turned your body entirely to look at him. Joel was too handsome for his own good, and it made you weak. Your voice came out meeker then intended, “I just want to be sure you asked me because you and Ellie genuinely want it, not because-” 

“Because you think I only asked you when you were upset? And not because I’ve been thinking about asking you every single time you go home for bed at night when I should be pulling you into mine” His face always looked serious. His soft features somehow capable of sitting harsh and stern on his face that you thought was anger when first meeting him. 

Joel’s eyes though spoke other emotions. Yearning swam through them with need, a perfect match to the itch in your muscles begging to seek comfort in his arms when you felt like this. Your head dropped in frustration. A wish flowing through you that you could just give up these urges to push him away. He has done nothing but shown you support and possibly something bordering on love, yet here you were trying to create scenarios in your head that were the opposite. 

This time when Joel’s body heat looms over you, he lets it consume you entirely as pulls your back into his chest. Automatically your eyes slide shut, leaning back into him with hands weakly grasping at his forearms around your front. His voice deep in your ear as he spoke. 

“If you want to stay here, that’s fine. I’m not demanding anything, but it’s still all on you. If you don’t want to stay with us you have to decide that for yourself. But don’t put that on me by making up excuses in your head, sweetheart.” You bit part of your lip instinctively when you felt Joel press a kiss to the top of your head. 

“Joel-”

He interrupted you, sliding his arms from your torso to rest his hands on your waist as he kept his nose pressed to your hair. Mumbling his words. “You come over when you’re ready. I’m leaving that space for you whether you take it or not.” 

You missed him already as he pulled away, the loud thud of his shoes echoing in the mostly empty house as he left. The last of his presence fading with the creaking front door and sounds of him descending the steps. 

It felt dirty, but there still was no time between Joel no longer in sound range and you bending to the ground, tearing out the loose floorboard to drag out the small wooden that lived in there. Resting it on the bed, you flicked it open rummaging through the scattered contents. Finding the leather binding at the bottom, you dragged your fingertips over it. 

The urge to open it back up and reread the text for what would feel like the millionth time once again resurfacing. The tome of writings and works that filled it once was a memory you stopped caring to obsess over. Your past was laid out out in detail that didn’t matter for a long time. Everyone had a past they wished to forget. 

So why did it keep yelling at you to remember it? Look at it again and ask of it’s relevancy to your life now it begged. But your past was only getting in the way. You’d bring this manuscript of memories to your life with Joel and it would loom over you, and it would be much harder to keep secret. 

Everything else on the bed got tossed into your bag, while the journal filled with painful memories you haunted yourself with once again got stowed away in the floorboard. Hastily being hidden back in it’s place, as if the wood wasn’t disturbed beside the rest of the floor. 

You didn’t look back at the house as you walked hastily onto the front yard, but you did however come face to face with the only other person who could do a better job at convincing you to move in then Joel could. 

Ellie sat on top of a tall rock, hands tapping at her thighs while she looked around. Her head only perking up when she saw you, but seemed to hold herself back from jumping down eagerly at the sight of your things. Instead slowly sliding her feet onto the gravel trying to keep an even tone. “Is that the rest of it?” 

Your heart tickled at how much she was pretending to be neutral. Without much thought, you slid your bag down your arm and tossed it to her. Watching with a hand hiding the laugh wanting to burst out at the sight of Ellie almost falling back onto the rock with an ‘oof’ at the sudden weight. 

Getting her bearings she glared up at you with a baby pout. “Did you pack all your furniture in here too?” 

That got you rolling your eyes, no longer bothering to hide the smile as you stepped to her. Grabbing the bag and sliding it back over your shoulder, the other hand pulling Ellie into your free side by the shoulder. “You and Joel live together or something? It’s like hearing his jokes but coming out of your mouth.” 

Ellie deciding to stay leaning into your side the short walk back to her home. “Yeah, but I’m the one people actually laugh at.” 

Your face pinched in amusement, unable to hold back what would no doubt rile her up. “Oh? Laugh at what? Your jokes or just you?” Not much strength went behind how much she shoved you, and her face falling at how little you stumbled only got you to laugh out loud this time. 

“Don’t say it.” Her tone was grumpy, much like the very man she lived with and you let the laugh go until it was a chuckle. You didn’t say it, but you definitely were laughing at her that time. Apparently you being apart of their family meant being infected with the incessant urge to make jabs at one another.

Just another thing you weren’t used too.

The evening was a little bit easier then the packing. Joel all but threw your bag onto the floor of his bedroom before crowding you up against the wall. His lips moulding against yours with his hands cupping your cheeks. His tongue licked and teased at yours without ever fully committing, in and effort to restrain his dwindling self control. 

Your hands snuck underneath the collar of his shirt to run your palms over his shoulders and the back of his neck, nails digging into the exposed skin. All you could do was surrender your lips to his kiss and hold onto him for the ride. 

As he deepened the kiss, one of your hands snaked up to rake through his hair pulling a bass like grumble deep in his chest. Joel’s knee forcing it’s way between your legs, and using an arm to wrap around your back pulling you down onto it. 

The shock against your core even through the layers spiked in your veins, a mix of a cry and a moan escaping your lips. Joel’s door not even fully closed you bit your lip harshly and dug your nails deeper into his skin to ground yourself. 

Joel however, groaned into your mouth and pushed up against you the same time he pulled you down again, slowly dragging his thigh back and forth ever so slightly. His hands strong, keeping you pressed against him, the constant pressure filling up in your lungs only able to come out in breathy pants to contain yourself. 

You both knew now wasn’t the time though. There were things to do, Ellie was up and around but Joel didn’t make it easy. A hand at the back of your head coaxing you back in every time you pulled away from his kiss. He was all consuming though, never not putting everything into his touch and trying to get away from his greediness as a challenge. 

Gently you pulled your hands from under his shirt collar, smoothing down to press against him just above the stomach as you tried to fight against his hand keeping you attached to his mouth. For a moment Joel looked concerned at you pushing him away. His grip on you turning urgent instead of needy and his eyes ducked more to lock with yours only to find softness instead of upset. 

You rubbed against his torso, and another along his cheek. Feeling his beard scratching at your skin delightfully. “Later.” 

You felt his hands pull away from such a greedy hold and simmer down to a gentle rest on your waist as he looked down at you, his lips just a tad more plump from the roughness he kissed you with. His nose rubbed against the skin of your cheek, his breathe hitting you with each soft spoken word. “What, you move in and suddenly you think you’re going to start telling me what to do?” 

Grinning, you kissed just below his ear as your thumbs stroked over where they could reach his covered stomach. “Get back to work, Miller. We got all the time in the world for this later.” You both knew the idea of Joel being ordered around by you was laughable. Whatever independence he respected whole heartedly in your everyday life went out the window the second that door closed.  You put your needs in the palm of his hands when it came to intimacy and neither of you had interest in changing that. 

The chuckle on his lips lit his face up, Joel pulled you into his side and made his way to the partially opened door. Leaning to kiss the top of your head with a mumble, “You bet your ass I’ll make time, sweetheart.” 

Finally pulling away from you Joel walked into the main room, clearly having things to go over with Ellie as you walked to the kitchen table and moved a large pack up onto it. You circled around to see the main part of the house as you pulled out an axe handle detached from it’s blade, looking a little worse for wear. Not anything that couldn’t be fixed, but you couldn’t help but wonder what on earth Tommy had been doing to bust up the handle like that. 

Strange how it still felt intrusive, glancing up to see Ellie and Joel in a whisper toned conversation you weren’t invited too. Ellie’s face bright with some kind of teasing mischief while contrasting against the much more flat faced fondness Joel was giving to her. So you looked back down. Focused on what you were doing, and prayed maybe living like a normal family would just get easier with time. 

Being in Joel’s home with him felt routine yet foreign. Like being here as a part of his life now switched a flip in your head, had you looking at this life and wondering if everyone else felt as distant as you. If someone were to ask about your previous life you weren’t even sure what you would tell them. Once haunting dreams were pushed into the back of your mind as your new life filled your nightmares with new images. 

It wasn’t as if you’d never seen anything domestic, small pockets of people for years made a life with some semblance of peace. Hell if you walked into Tommy and Maria’s home on any given day you might not even think it was a changed world outside those walls. They were normal. So why did being normal with Joel feel so odd? Especially when you knew it wasn’t his fault.

Joel had tried not long ago to entice you to bed, a deep rumbling in your ear and wandering hands that burned in it’s wake stirred your core. You were with them, with him. You chose a life with them and it seemed to have given Joel as desperate yearning for proof. Have you in his home and not worry that he’ll wake up one day from the fantasy. 

You gently pushed him back, told him you’d be there in a second. Which by now, was at least twenty minutes ago. Instead of being in his arms, your own were wrapped around each other as they rested on the soaking banister outside. It wasn’t a pouring rain, but a mist that reminded you all too well of the day you were walked into town. A defensive expression and held back silence as it slowly soaked your hair, barley beginning to dry when a door flew open and in walked a broad man with a permanent glare that for some reason found your defensive silence enticing. 

Now that glare had simmered down to a general gruffness, the past year since he arrived softened those edges, whereas the months you had been here brought struggles and unknowns into his attempt at peace. Interrupting the desire to feel like a family by having the memory of your pathetic excuse of a childhood, and how that somehow continues you to haunt your life.  Looming over your mind like a parasite. 

Or a fungus to be more insensitive. You’d smirk at your own terrible sense of humour, but honestly Ellie is the only person on earth who’d consider laughing at that and even then, you’re not quite sure how much she actually knew about it. How much did the Marlene actually tell her about her truth and what the consequences would have been without Joel? 

The light misting you had been receiving lulled you into your thoughts enough that the dim outside light flickering on startled you. Before you could question it, the door creaked open and closed as Joel found a spot pressed close to your side, arms brushing together. 

“Didn’t think having sex on the front lawn was part of the plan for the night.” Somehow his warmth still enveloped the side closest to you even over the mist. He didn’t pull you into his side or back to his chest though, he knew when to let you come to him. 

Barley managing a smirk, any joke to respond with died as you opened your mouth. “I uh, wasn’t really ready. Too much on my mind I guess.” Your jaw clenched along with your lungs tightening hoping not to give away the anxiety in your breathing. 

You could see Joel nodding in his peripherals, his lips pursed in thought looking straight ahead into the dark street as you were. His eyes weren’t quite on you when he turned his head slightly to the side, maybe enough to watch your nails unconsciously carve into the wood they rested on. For some reason, you took his silence as offence. “I didn’t mean- nothing to do with not wanting you or anything. I meant like, I’d be distracted you know?” 

You couldn’t quite see but Joels eyes slipped shut as his jaw clenched even harder with the single shake of his head. Still not looking up at you as he spoke, disappointment flowing through his voice. “I wish you’d stop doing that.” 

Finally your head turned, looking at him properly as Joel did the same to you. You raised an eyebrow at him while your lungs continued to restrict your airflow. Joel’s eyes didn’t keep the same disappointing tone of his voice. Instead they held a sort of frustration. “Making excuses for yourself. Acting like you know what I want to hear, when all I care about is what’s actually going on up here.” 

Your eyes fluttered briefly as you felt Joel’s hand smooth over the side of your head. His touch lingering a second too long but still pulling back to give you that space. Biting the inside of your cheek, you felt your own frustration build. Pushing up on the banister, your palms now sat flat atop the wet surface finally giving you a chance to take a deeper breathe. 

“Does it ever feel weird to you?” You looked over at Joel who was now giving you a questioning look, but you didn’t know how much you wanted to watch him as your continued. “Having all of this? Waking up with a normal life when the last time any of us had it was drastically different?” 

Joel had never been made quite clear on your own past, but he has been open to you in quiet moments during the night about his. What led him here, what brought him and Ellie together, how far off track his life became once everything started, and most painfully, what he lost that brought him here. You never asked about Sarah directly, it wasn’t your place but you both knew what was being unsaid.

Joel pushed up on the banister to copy your own stance, not needing to say anything about the hand closest to him that twitched slightly. “The life itself doesn’t feel weird to me. But accepting that I was allowed to have it again was. Well, more painful if I’m being honest.” 

Your fingers tingled with an urge to reach out, link at least a pinky to his but you didn’t want to interrupt him as he found his mind wandering in the forest. “Raising Ellie isn’t anything like what it was with Sarah. Our life now is completely different then the one I had with her. Getting used to that wasn’t the hard part.” 

Joel’s own hand slid over to rest over top the very wrist you had been glancing at. This time you’re the one who filled the void between words. “It was accepting that wanting it wasn’t wrong.” 

His eyes were bright but filled with a glaze that wasn’t caused by the mist. His grip tightened and then loosened on repeat as his shoulders sat high and tense on his body. “I don’t regret the way it turned out. With Ellie I mean. If you send me and her back a year when I first met her I’d do it all over again for her.” There was a pause before a tiny smirk started to grow. “Maybe be less of an asshole about it but that’s beside the point.” 

The grip on his wrist finally loosened, enough that you could see the colour returning to his skin as he spoke. “But if I’m being honest? Sarah would’ve given me shit for how long it took me to even consider trying any of this again. She was always trying to find ways to make it easier for me or to just convince me to make things easier on myself. Not sure she’d be happy that it took me all this time to actually start listening to her. To just do things for myself for once.”

Your heart filled with a sorrow, despite the love in his voice the pain would never go away. But she was right, if Joel wasn’t going to make it easier on himself then you and Ellie were there to start picking up the slack. You found your courage and reached over with a pink to lightly wrap it across his own, but Joel wasn’t having it. 

The same hand lifted up suddenly and grabbed your hand entirely, holding it firm in his warm grip before resting it back down. His thumb positioned just right to stroke the skin of your own wrist. 

You didn’t have anything to say to make him feel better, but you knew at least one thing that you knew to be true. “She’d be proud of you.” You could feel his muscles straining through this arm down to his fingertips as you took a step to the slide, pressing your body much more against him. “Everything you’ve done? She’d still be proud. You love each other, and even now that still has never gone away. And it’s never going to.”

You couldn’t bare to look at him at that moment. Already knowing how he looked, trying to old back a silent agony that threatened to water up in his eyes if he dwelled for too long. Joel barley started to speak before you refused to let him backtrack. “I’m proud of you too. I’m glad you have all this, actually found a life again.” 

He used his hold on you to pull you into him, his body taking a step back to position you right in front of him. Hands still joined now resting above your heart and his other hand keeping you against him at the waist. The shaky breathe he took stabbed a your heart. His jaw pressed against the side of your head his voice was a coarse whisper. “Then let me do the same for you. Stop pretending I deserve shit that you don’t.” 

Your heart beat harder in your chest, not quite in anxious way but with just the right amount of force that you could feel each beat like a thump. He wanted you to just stop hiding from him, and realistically? Hadn’t he seen enough of you already to know what he’s getting into? It took him weeks upon weeks to learn how to balance healing and being a father again. 

The struggles you two have been through since you arrived in Jackson months ago told him everything he needed to know. Joel knew you better then a single person before ever even wanted to try, hiding from him was useless at this point. You’re lives were intertwined and that’s the way he wanted it. So you just said what the core issue was. 

“I never had a family before this. Not a real one. I don’t know how any of this works.” Ripping it off like a bandaid. Only that rip had Joel’s hands tighten against you. 

You never had one in the first place, and his along with part of his soul was ripped away from him.  His lips pressed against the top of your head as he spoke. “Stop hiding how you feel, and you’re doing just fine, sweetheart.” 

You let go of his hand and turned in his hold. Joel’s arm moving to brace beside you on the banister once more essentially locking you in his space. Much like earlier that day, your hands rested on his stomach, palms smoothed over the soft fabric. Your eyes forcing themselves to look into his own, overwhelmed by the fondness he poured into yours. “I’m not trying to push you away. I just-” 

Joel left your waist to cup the side of your face, “Need time to get used to it?” 

Words got caught in your throat, an emotion crawling up the pipeline to escape that you didn’t want to ruin the sweeter tenderness of the moment. So you nodded instead. 

Joel tilted your jaw to look up at him before leaning down to press a chaste kiss to your lips. Your bodies relaxing as you sighed into the kiss. Letting him guide your mouth without deepening or demanding them further. 

A man truly capable of taking your breathe away with a simple press of his lips you felt lightheaded the more he kept your mouths together, but you didn’t have the will power to pull away. Instead choosing to press up against his front forcing both of his hands to steady you on your hips. 

Joel tilted his head just slightly to change the angle as his own will power cracked a bit. The brief pause you got as he moved gave him the chance to tease the inside of your mouth with his tongue. He pulled you into his hips tighter as your own hands drifted up to grip at his shoulders. 

The more you let him taste you, the weaker you made one another. You came out here alone to escape this intimacy and Joel followed to keep your anxiety from pulling you away. Not to continue what he desired in the first place, yet here you were. Both of you wanting to take away the other’s pain.

Your tongue brushing back against his only to have him pull back, his kiss back to almost a caress, but never did he try and pick up the speed. Just keeping your mouths pressed together like a surviving need. His hands begun to wander, sliding your shirt up just enough to press his hands against your skin. 

Gripping the plushness he found, Joel instinctively pushed his hips into yours unable to control the growing hardness underneath his clothes. However quickly he got you worked up from his rising touch around your sides, shirt rising more and more with it, you had him worked up far quicker with a kiss alone. You let out a muffled moan into his mouth as you felt the bulge between you two grow and rub against your own core. 

You wrapped your arms round the back of his neck raking through the damp hair as the mist continued to make moving against one another slicker. Joel groaned back into your mouth as he greedily continued to press harder against your hips. The sensation of his cock growing harder while pressed right up against you had you pulling away from his mouth just to catch your breath. 

Joel rubbed his nose gently up and down the length of yours, never bothering to open his eyes as he reveled in how comforting your presence made him. As you tried to gently brush your nose back, he playfully nudged you instead, your face pushed slightly to the side so he could continue his path tracing his nose across your soft cheek. 

Your heart lifted, floating in mid air as you let out an honest giggle. Joel kissing you once as he chuckled back. Opening his eyes without pulling away to look at your expression. Lighter then he’d seen it in days. That lightness though, turned to a jumping embarrassment at the exact same time Joel’s turned to it’s standard flat grumpiness at a particular voice behind them. 

“Back to fooling around in the middle of the night so mom won’t catch you Joel?” 

While Joel kept his hold on you, not even bothering to give you the decency of letting your shirt fall back down. Simply not willing to let go of your soft skin for that long he just looked over your shoulder with the blankest of expressions he could muster. 

“You here to watch or did you actually want something?” Furthering the deep grump look on his face, you forced his hands to leave you as you turned back to face the front. Tommy stood not too far from the stairs, one leg bent slightly and hands on his hips to accompany the bemused grin on his face. 

His hand gestured to the porch light, “Saw that was on and I figured I’d stop by to tell you there’s a few spots around the perimeter we should check out sometime in the next few days.” 

Joel’s eyes narrowed more. “That’s what couldn’t wait until morning?” His hands unwilling to be on their own, Joel grabbed at your waist under your shirt once more. Gripping the plush skin there like a stress reliever. 

Tommy himself held a bit of a serious but hesitant look as he rubbed the front of his face. “We should go sooner rather then later. Maria’s mentioned a few weird things around the outskirts that I want to deal with before it becomes an actual issue.” 

You didn’t need to look behind you to know Joel’s head was just as deep in thought as his brothers. It was often they were on the same wavelength about this sort of thing. Your own curiosity getting the better of you, you leaned forward to rest your palms against the banister again, not at all noticing how that left your ass to press up against Joel’s clothed erection just enough to tease him. His hands gripped your hips tightly, keeping you pressed there yet still paying full attention. 

You were the worst thing that ever happened to Joel’s concentration.

“What sort of things?” Tommy looked at you as he shrugged at your question. Not dismissively, but in an unsure kind of manner. 

“Just some stuff out of place, broken fence pole here and there. Nothing massive but it’d be best we deal with it now before some shithead sneaks his way in and causes issues.” 

You tried to stand back up but Joel’s grip stopped you. He didn’t even flinch as he subtly pulled your ass harder against his covered cock, his face and eyes on his brother all business. There was no mistakening his cock twitching against the curve of your ass cheeks it strained behind jeans to slide through. Joel’s voice a bit more gruff, sending a shock down between your legs as you blinked excessively to drain the sudden rush inside you from showing. 

And Joel called you the brat. 

Both brothers agreeing on a time and place before Tommy said his goodbyes. He had already turned around headed home when his voice shouted out one last tease. “Better sneak her in through the window before Ellie sees you’re still up.”

You smirked as Joel rolled his eyes. Finally alone again, Joel tugged you up to stand properly, but turned you with him towards the front door. Before you could open it though, he cupped your chin with his fingers pulling you to his mouth for another innocent kiss. 

His thumb reached to trace back and forth against your bottom lip. Pressure increasing when you gave it a tiny peck, eyes happily watching his. “C’mon trouble maker. Before the boss lady catches us.” 

His smile was just soft, pulling you in for another kiss lasting seconds longer. His lips brushing against yours as he spoke. “We’re honest with each other from now on, okay?” Your nod wasn’t enough. “I need you to say it out loud. Promise me.”

You reached up, scratching gently at the scruff of his beard. “I promise.” 

His brows narrowed as he nodded in acceptance. Joel though was always good at compartmentalizing, and a dark glint slid across his eyes as did a smirk. Teasing you with a brush of his tongue once more in the next kiss, refusing to pull away from tasting your mouth until you did for air. His voice was deep and dripping in a lust that burned your bones. “Now about what you ran away from earlier.” 

You let out a genuine surprised smile as he grabbed your hips. Pushing you towards the front door only letting go to open it, get you inside with one hand still guiding you. The second you both were inside Joel used that one hand to tug you forcefully into his chest. 

His head bent to whisper in your ear along with a nibbling kiss. “Now be good and go lay out on our bed for me.” His tongue licked and kissed along your neck that he could reach from behind. “I have other places on you I need to taste.” 

Shoving you forward you heard the front door finally close, and followed by the click of the lock as you walked towards his room at the end of the hall. Or your room to be specific. No doubt Joel was going to turn that kind of mentality into a lecturing lesson if you didn’t knock that off. 

The last time though that you ever shared a room with someone else, was before you went off by yourself. Was when you were traveling with a group in a place where there were only so many rooms to sleep in. People that turned around and stabbed you in the back, or more accurately, tried to attack you in your sleep. You were alone until Jackson. 

You hadn’t quite listened to Joel. You found yourself stuck as you sat at the edge of the bed, hands braced on your knees trying to imagine living in this room like it was yours. Small hints of Joel were everywhere but even with the things you brought over there was very little you could add to it. It still was his room to you. 

By the time Joel crept in quietly, his eyes narrowed at your eyes distant looking at nothing. Your fingers tapping at your legs the only movement you were making. He knew talking more of it out right now wouldn’t help you. You were lost in your head enough as it was, especially the past week and a half. 

Sitting down and coaxing uncomfortable truths more then you’ve already shared today wasn’t the answer. No, Joel needed to do something for you that he knew you weren’t going to even consider doing for yourself. He needed to get you away from your thoughts for a while. 

Ironically, Joel so naturally did for you what Sarah had insisted he do for himself. Stand back and stop thinking for a little while.

Your eyes slid to the side to see his figure near the door. You could hazily see him pulling off his flannel leaving him only in a soft grey tee shirt. Turning your head to look at him more you were caught on the shirt rather then his determined expression. Joel just looked so soft like this. No stiff posture at the ready for any moves, no layers bulking his already large and intimidating frame, no weapons strapped to either of you braced for the worst. 

No words were exchanged as he stepped to you, his fingers pulling your chin up to look at him. His brown eyes were dark and lost in a thought of his own, but Joel was better at juggling his life and his mind then you were. You stretched your neck up to meet his body leaning over you. 

What you assumed would be a gentle kiss consumed you as soon as your lips met one another. Joel’s hand grasped the back of your neck, keeping you angled up at his will. His kiss was harsh, much harsher then anything earlier in the day. 

He moved against yours demanding you obey him, even through how much he stole your breathe away. A large hand grasped at your hip as he worked in tandem with you to push further onto the bed and pushing your body down entirely when you reached the middle. Climbing up on top of you, his hand drifted up to cup the back of your head as his tongue teased you without ever following through. 

Trying to pull away, you drifted to his neck without ever keeping you mouth off of him. Small kisses turned to scratches of your teeth before you bit down with more force. A stuttered groan left him as his body seized up. The hand on your head leaving to press into the sheets beside you curled into a fist.

You could feel the coarse brush of his facial hair against your cheek the higher up his neck you bit at, but it felt as if it heightened your greed to give more to him. There was no amount of Joel’s roughness in appearance or nature that you didn’t bask in. It just scratched against you, fueling your own need to lightly lick at whatever your teeth just sunk into. Ease what roughness was imprinted on him even by you. 

Too distracted by the low needy sounds he tried and failed to hold back you didn’t realize his hands had moved. It wasn’t until he yanked your pants half way down your thighs did you even realize he undid the button and zipper. You gasped, pulling from his neck to see dark eyes and his mouth slightly open from harsh breaths. Using to fingers he tapped at your naked thigh, “Up.” 

Nodding you gave him enough room to slid it down further and watched as he hastily yanked it the rest of the way off and tossed them behind. His brows were narrowed and his face much sharper then when you were outside. For a second Joel just stared at you, raising an eyebrow waiting to see if you cooperated. 

Hesitantly, you bent your knees up on the bed, your feet flat on the sheets as you spread them just slightly before Joel with one hand pulled your underwear off. The sound of a strain in fabric heard from the lack of patience he had to wait for you to lift your hips up once more. Tossing them even further then your bottoms had reached. 

Whatever distance your legs spread wasn’t anywhere near what he wanted. Joel pushed your knees apart and wasted no time filling the empty space between them. Brushing his lips over your inner thigh, his hands braced on them as well tightly. His facial hair itched you the closer it got to right between your legs, but paled in comparison to the sudden sharp bite he dug his teeth into. You gasped loudly, but the sound of his hand leaving your other thigh to smack at the skin echoed louder. 

Trying to move your legs to give his broad shoulders more space, Joel shoved them for you, straining the muscles as he pushed them beyond what you could stretch yourself and kept them there by pushing his shoulders into the space. “I’m the one doing the work here, got it?” 

His nose traced a path from the top of your mound down to nudge at your clit instead of expecting you to reply. Your nerves sparked alight as he licked your clit, the most feather light nibble next and then another lick. Working you with a sting and a smooth pleasure that had you floating. 

Your feet strained and fidgeted against the sheets as he refused to let up. His path started to take longer, as he left shamelessly mess kisses down the length of your pussy before licking back up to your clit. Nothing but a tease that built up such a coiling pleasure that you were left with barley any thoughts to form into words that weren’t him. 

The deeper he teased his tongue into you with every swipe down, the more he peeked up to see your hands either tearing into your hair or grasping at the sheets below. You didn’t know why you felt him smirk into your folds, but it made you whimper at the sensitive movement. 

If you asked Joel why he did, he’d have nodded to your hands ever finding a place to stay. Joel had no issue with greedily running through your hair as you sucked his cock, but you never found the same courage to reach down and rake yours into his when he went down on you. One of these days he’d finally corrupt you enough, get you to take whatever you needed from him. 

For now though, his hands pushed your thighs now as wide as possible before finally tasting inside of you like he needed. Your hips jolted and your legs strained under his grasp as he licked into you leaving no spot inside untouched. 

Your voice only strong enough to mutter a breathy almost inaudible, “Oh fuck” as his mouth worked you over aggressively. One hand of his slid up over your thigh to just above your mound. His thumb pushing down against your clit and rubbing circles, up and down, anything he could muster while the rest of his hand and arm pushed your hips down significantly. 

Shaking in his hold as he lapped up what you gave him, seeking those prized spots inside of you that had you throw out moans without any filter. The pressure against your pelvis increased how sensitive his work on your clit felt, made you burn the more his mouth tasted you and sent your vision white and ears ringing before you could understand how quickly your orgasm approached. 

The coil inside of you tensing you with pleasure, you didn’t even hear Joel. None of his rasping words hit your ears. You may not have noticed, but your brain did. A warmth flowing through your veins and had your moans desperate and bordering on almost emotional, but it was muted from your consciousness at the warm lick of Joel’s tongue inside you. 

Together it all mixed, and with no true warning, Joel’s hands quickly grasped at the sides of your hips and held you firmly in place as you came. Nothing but needy cries from your mouth, but Joel refused to leave your cunt until you grasped onto him to make him stop. 

You felt shocks at your core at how little he eased up on how aggressively he licked and tasted you after your orgasm started letting you go back down to earth. “Wait, J-Joel, fuck,”

Sliding his greedy mouth back up the length of your core and back to the same treatment he teased you and your clit with at the start, but without any care of how sensitive and soaked you were now. He wanted you to tell him what you needed. Even if it was just to breathe, for him to ease up on your overstimulated pussy for a moment, he needed you to tell him what it was you needed from him. 

You trusted him to take care of you, but he scraped his teeth at your clit trying to coax you to be honest about how you wanted him to take care of you. You pleaded with no real meaning behind it, a cry for him to understand. He did. But he wanted you to know what you wanted. 

It was too much, your brain was foggy and his mouth between your legs was more then you could handle. You started to feel a lurch in your chest and finally it spurred you to reach down. Not even thinking about it, you instinctively raked your hand through his hair and begged. “Joel please, I need a minute. I can’t-” 

One single kiss was pressed to your clit, and Joel pulled away from you. Your eyes were shut, finally able to catch your breathe. His own breathing hitting your face, nose gently rubbing against your cheek as his face leaned over yours. One hand stroking your other cheek and his body laying over yours. His weight pressing you down like a weighted blanket to keep you calm. 

“I got you, sweet girl. You still with me?” His voice strained but soothing. You nodded, feeling Joel kiss your cheek and turning your mouth to press much more gentle against yours. His lips coaxing your heart to slow down to normal finally. 

You slid your arms around him, happily keeping him pressed against you for a while. You nudged your nose against his as you scratched your nails into his hair. “Let me take care of you.” 

Joel shook his head no. Kissing your lips, then your forehead before pressing his against yours. “That’s my job, sweetheart.” He smiled at your brows narrowing along with a pout on your lips. 

“But-”

He kissed you once more, “How about you just keep me nice and warm for a while?” 

In your still far away brain, you didn’t quite get what he meant but you nodded anyways. You trusted him, and all you wanted was to say yes for making him feel good too. He shushed you gently when you reached out for him. Eyes fluttering open to see him taking a moment to shed the rest of his clothes before crawling back to you. 

Joel turned your body to the side, his face in your neck as one hand trailed down to his cock that was pressed up against your ass. You lifted your leg slightly and Joel pulled it back to rest over his, “Up here, that’s right, good girl.” 

He chuckled to himself at the shiver rolling through you at that one. Gently he swiped his cock over your soaked entrance a few times before pressing his chest against your back. Sliding his cock inside of you, there was no resistance to his thick size so soon after having his mouth on you. 

Whimpering slightly, you reached an arm back to wrap behind his neck and Joel kissed the side of your head. You barley could turn to see even part of his face with your eyes struggling to stay open. “Like this?” 

Joel pulled you as close into him as possible, you gasping at the shift of his cock inside of you fitting so snugly. “Just like this, sweetheart.” 

Neither of you moved for a bit, but your limbs felt heavy despite the delicious way his cock filled you even so still. Your head moved further into the pillow as your voice was sleepy. “Joel, I don’t know if I can-” 

Joel’s own eyes were closed at that point. Pressed a kiss to your hair and pulled you as close as he could get you, trying to control himself at your walls clenching around him. “I’m happy just like this.” Your eyebrows narrowed despite your eyes themselves sliding shut like his and you weren’t surprised Joel somehow sensed that. “Just for a little while.” 

That little while wasn’t exactly true. It took little time for you both to fall asleep. Joel only having enough strength to pull the sheet up to cover your naked bottom half before he fell asleep. His arms tight around you, and your pussy tight around his cock. You two would tackle anything heavier another time he decided. 

Though, that wasn’t quite true either. In fact something else entirely would come creeping up on you. But for now, you tried to balance between letting him in, and letting go for yourself. 

It always annoyed you when the weather was like this. The sun bright and clear as it beamed down onto the street, giving the illusion that it would feel warm as it baked into your skin. But instead you were left with a crisp chill in the air and enough snow that forced you to shovel off the platform you were currently on. One of your legs sat tucked under your body as the other hung over the edge, scattered wood sat to the side of you. Holding up large screws up to the sunlight, one eye squinting as you tried to make out how in shape it was. 

Maria had all but thrown a carrying case at you not long ago when she asked “You know much about bows?” Your eyebrow raised in question but you nodded. 

“I know enough.” 

Suddenly you were catching a heavy bag with pieces clanked inside of it. “You can keep them if you have the patience to put them all together.” 

Now here you sat, the limbs of two bows scattered as you tried to find which parts were the right fitting attachment. You had hardly paid attention as you looked back to the pile, tossing the screw aside with a huff before looking through the assortment that had just sat loose at the bottom of the bag. Not hearing anything coming up to you, your head shot up eyes sharp in alert as a heavy foot gently kicked at the foot dangling over the platform edge. 

It was severely unfair of Joel to stand there, the sun shining down on him in just the perfect way that lit his skin up with a glow, and reflected off of the scattered greys in his hair. Nothing even close to a proper winter jacket for how cold it had been getting sat on his person, a stark contrast to your similar one that barley kept you from shivering. At least Joel ran warm enough that it didn’t matter for him. 

One of his hands reached out, pulling a limb up towards him as he tossed it mindlessly in his hand. “Finally getting that storage closet cleared out?” 

Your face twisted slightly as you turned the screw in tight enough to strain your hand. “Yeah, some old recurves. Not in the best shape, but I figure they’ll do the job well enough.” Reaching to the side you came upon nothing, realizing Joel had the other limb. 

Reaching out for it, Joel pulled his arm back as your hand flailed to nothing. Your face fell flat, mouth pressed in a thin line as Joel’s eyes swam with amusement. Deciding to lean his legs against the concrete, he relented. Giving you the limb, and crossing his arms over his chest as he now watched your focused work. “You shoot with a bow often?” 

Shrugging, you noticed him reach over your lap to grab the second bows parts. “Somewhat. I was in an old shooting range for not too long. No guns let, obviously, but the inside shop still had a couple kinds of bows laying around. One of the guys in our group tried teaching me to use the crossbow, but it didn’t really work for me.” 

Starting to slid the string into place you noticed Joel was much faster at putting it together then you had been. “Their reload time’s the problem. If you’re just out hunting that’s one thing, but not exactly my first choice for close quarters.” 

Watching him work, it always pinged inside of you how easily Joel put together things. How seamlessly he would work like he didn’t even need to think about it. His hands large against the thin handle didn’t help the matter. “You think your aim’s still on par?” 

Diverting your eyes up to his face, once again you felt that distracting pull. His handsome features trained on you with a warmth that if you let yourself, could envelop you completely. “Probably a bit better. Didn’t really use guns back then and we didn’t stay there long. So I’m either pretty good,” 

“Or pretty shit.” A smirk falling on both of your faces as you rolled your eyes to the side, pulling the bag over to you to pull our the arrow bundles. Joel relieving you of the one on your lap, he held them up side by side, and looked back over to you with an inquisitive expression. By the time you looked back over, he was holding out the one he had put together. “That one feels a couple pounds lighter, it’ll be a better fit.” 

Jumping down suddenly, Joel found himself watching your side carefully. He knew at this point it was mostly healed over, the bloody torn open skin at the least. Enough time had passed, but Joel also had yet to see what remained. For the past two weeks Joel hadn’t seen you wear anything besides long sleeves more then once maybe. 

If he took if off you, it was only allowed in the dark. Otherwise, no one but you were allowed to look at it. He was starting to understand why you seared the one on your arm. A burn mark was easier to look at then what lay hidden underneath. It was easier for you to never have to see it. 

Now though? There was no chance in hell he was going to do the same to your side. He refused to harm you at all, let alone that badly. He also just couldn’t handle your reaction. Something like that would have you screaming in agony, and there was no part of Joel’s heart that would be able to handle that. 

Waving you to the side, he grabbed the longer bundle and had you follow him more out back. No one around but a few empty crates just strewn over the ground. Putting a hand out to stop you in your tracks, Joel walked over to a low hanging tree branch and hung one of the small lighter crates over the thick bark. 

Turning to you, it struck you as a challenge. His eyes glinting in question, and hiding his smile as he walked back when you started pulling off the tie keeping the arrows together. “Easy enough.” 

Gently placing the bow in his hands down, he walked up to your side head close to yours. “You remember your form?” Was he rumbling deep near your ear on purpose or was it just a demanding yearning in your heart that particular day? “Show me.” 

Turning to the side, Joel watched silently as you loaded up and aimed. A shaky breathe leaving your lips, and letting your hold go. Sure enough, you felt your shoulders sag as it just barley missed that tree entirely. He didn’t say anything, but you felt the embarrassment regardless. “Just a warm up is all.” 

Joel let you get as far as loading the arrow before starling you with hands on your waist. “Feet turned all the way to the side, just like that.” Guiding you to face almost entirely to the right with only your upper body twisted to look. 

His hands had you buzzing under all those layers. You swallowed down that feeling, but only made you aware of the beating in your heart. His hands never left you, just stepping in closer so his chest hovered close to your back. “Thumb away from the front.” 

It took you a moment to even hear what he said, so Joel showed for you. Grasping your fingers and pulling them into position away from the open air. “Right, uhm, yeah.” That was well spoken wasn’t it? 

Trailing along your arm Joel once again held both sides of your waist as you let another breathe out before trying again. This time it hit the tree, but too low and off to the side. Your jaw clenched, trying to hold back a growing upset. Two misses in a row, now you were just feeling embarrassed and stupid in front of Joel’s watchful gaze. 

This time the warm rumbling was right in your ear, Joel’s hands sliding down to hold tighter at your hips as he pressed his back into you. Feeling your body mould into his front without any thought, stammered silently trying to come up with an excuse. Joel however took a much more comforting approach. “Shhh, relax sweetheart. There are no stakes here, take your time it’s just me.” 

Looking down to the snow below your feet, you could see Joel’s own all but beside yours as if to keep you locked in place against him. Pulling back, Joel’s hands moved up to straighten your arm out. “It’s not a gun, remember? Arms straight, not locked.” 

Once again keeping his touch burning you as they slid back down to your hips. Your heart was beating harder, but you also felt Joel’s chest rising and falling in tandem with your own breathing. Maybe if it weren’t for the jacket, you could feel Joel’s doing the same. 

Taking your time to aim it up right, you felt his grip on your hips tighten before he muttered to you once more time. “C’mon baby.” 

Your heart jumping in your chest, you let go of the arrow on instinct, watching it slam into the crate with a crack as it jostled it somewhat in place. Joel pulled you into his chest close this time, purposely leaning into your neck to press a kiss there. You should feel elated, but you just shivered at his lips. 

“That’s my girl.” You tried to smother the little smile on your face but of course he saw it. You didn’t see his face full of pride, and his eyes trained entirely on you instead of accomplished target. 

“Impressed?” 

To you, it was just a joke. Not meaning much other then a tease of your lack of skill, but Joel always kept you on your toes. “With you? Always.” 

Hands sliding off of your body, one of them trailed along your lower back causing your eyes to flutter for just a second. His gentle touch still took getting used to. Watching him reach up with no effort to pull it down, he looked over to you as you yelled playfully. “How about you show me how it’s done this time, Miller?” 

Bringing out a tiny competitive streak in you was an aspect he had grown to love. Never in anything of value, but always competing with Joel for the smallest things. His eyes always eventually sliding over to something darker the further in you got. 

This time though, there was none. He just hit his target on each pull, leaving your mouth slightly parted and eyes bright with awe. His own form faced where you stood near a back wall. Brown eyes sharp, with his features turning harsh as he slipped into his focus. 

It wasn’t lost on Joel when he faced you again, the look you were giving him. A warmth flowing through your veins at how effortlessly skilled he was, continued to be at so many things at that. His mouth in what could be mistaken for a frown, you knew really held a concealed need. 

His body hovered over you, reaching around you to put his bow down as his fingers danced across your body as he pulled it back. Using them to nudge your chin up to look him in the eye, you felt your limbs itching at the need to explore over him. Your name mumbled from his lips he leaned in close, breathe hitting your cheek. “Do I get a consolation price, or do you want me to just pick it out for myself?” 

A laugh left you at how quickly he turned from a desire to grumpy. Your hands reached out to the top of his waistline, tapping across the belt buckle that you could feel under your fingertips caused his stomach to twitch at how close you moved your touch already. But then someone from around the front called your name. And Joel’s face fell to annoyance. 

Smiling genuinely at him, you reached up instead to lightly trace your thumb over his facial hair. The coarseness always scratching at your palm, riling your own insides up. “How about you think on it and let me know?” 

Pulling your chin close, Joel pressed a kiss to your lips. A surprising passion behind the force of his lips, his tongue just barley teasing you before he pressed a smaller chasate one to you. “You should get on back. I’ll handle all this.”

Your brows furrowed, your brain stirring at him cleaning up something that you made. “I can do it, it’s fine.” 

Ever the stubborn man, he just kissed your forehead before nudging you away from him to make you head out. “Go.” His voice deep and stern, you nodded before turning away and made your way back around to the platform. 

Telling yourself the whole time that you’ll get used to it. That the nerves flooding your bloodstream when he was that close, with his hands so greedily on your body would slow down eventually.

You weren’t the only one though, grappling with the very same problem. Joel was still accepting being given a chance for a life he never imagined he’d come close to having, or even wanting ever again. It forced him to stand back and reacquaint himself with emotions he’d assumed were long past what he’d get in this life. Feeling like a father again was a fight with his own trauma, but on the other side? Having you was just as much as an anomaly to him as he was to you. 

He genuinely couldn’t tell anyone the last time he had something anywhere near this. Even his realization of how he felt about you hit Joel with an intense force. Shutting himself off from that kind of feeling a long time ago. Giving up that care for closeness or intimacy just as he assumed he would never be a whole person again. So in a way, he was very much like you. Used to being alone. 

Joel knew however how different your approach to it was. You had always been out there. Traversing land that to everyone else, was a risking mission to navigate. But it was the only way you’ve known since it begun. He’s not even sure you’ve ever seen inside any zone. Preferring not to rely on strict and rigid dependency on one of those cities. But it also left you on the outside of so many people, most of the people Joel knew now. 

It was like a need that neither of you realized was missing. A person to lean on. Someone to understand the turmoil in your head and fit perfectly in the dark void of your heart that needed that support. Even if it took Joel this long to see it. To see that he wanted someone like that, well, not anyone if he was being honest. 

You stuck out to him from the start. That day he sat you sitting at a counter with a fierce gaze bracing yourself for whatever rough demeanor he walked in on may bring down on you. A burning thought in his mind that trailed back to you the longer he was around you until it led to now. Standing under the warm stream of water listening through the walls to your voice moving about the house, knowing your feet will eventually take you to here. 

His hands smoothing over his hair to let the water rush over his face. You didn’t bother calling out to him as you walked into the bedroom. The thin walls enough to let you hear one another, but Joel’s hands itched to have you in his reach. Debating on calling you to him first. It had been years since he even wanted a woman in his arms, but now it was as if his agitation only grew when you weren’t exactly there.

Your fingers tapped at the dresser, gaze locked on the light peeking through the bottom of the door with warm steam flowing out and enticing you in from the cold outside. You could just shut the door, or even walk away from this side of the house completely but your skin also begged you to at least rinse your face with a splash. 

It was foolish to assume maybe you could sneak in and out without Joels warm cadence pulling at your heart to join him. Creaking the door open quiet as possible, you stepped quietly in and shut it just as slow. It took about ten seconds to realize how stupid your assumption was. 

“We gotta work on how to be sneaky on top of your aim now?” Eyes closing, you braced your palms flat on the sink edges. Biting the inside of your cheek you wanted to resist getting caught in the trap. 

Grabbing a small cloth, you let the smallest bit of water run over part of it to not skyrocket the temperature for him. “You making fun of me for it now? I knew you were just showing off earlier.” He chuckled as you ran the rough fabric over your face, at least giving you some reprieve. “Pretty of you, Miller.” 

“Alright, I’ll give you that.” About to run the cloth over your cheek, your hands paused mid movement at what was inevitable. “How about you join me then? Let me make it up to you?” 

You suspect he heard the slight thud of your hand dropping down onto the sink, cloth laying partially in it was you avoided the shower curtain beside you and the mirror just above you. The soft inner workings of your heart warmed at just feeling him against you, but the other reckoned you weren’t going to convince him to do it in the dark. 

The lack of response went on too long, causing you to startle a tad at the sound of the curtain being pulled back just slightly. Handsome features beautifully on display as his hair was slicked back, flat against his head as opposed to the curling volume that always seemed to be perfect. Just the top of his chest was exposed as well, broad shoulder down to his strong, sculpted arm keeping the rest of him mostly covered with the curtain. 

You couldn’t help but smile, shaking your head as you looked back down. “Not much in the way of time.” Just as he opened his mouth, you turned your head back with a playful smirk and a finger pointing in his direction. “You and I both know you’re not going to just make it quick.” 

Sharing a quiet laugh together, he beamed at you with gentle eyes. Not just one with a want, but one that radiated more of a need. A softness that you knew both of you were itching deep in your bones to share. Looking at nothing around the room, you gracefully came up with a fair excuse to deny him. 

“I just- uhm...” That should do it. No more of a convincing argument that having none at all. 

Your arms had crossed around your stomach, shifting eyes sliding back to him as your name fell from his mouth. “Just for a little bit. Long enough at least to take care of you, just in here.” Joel was never pushy, but he wasn’t just thinking of taking care of you. You knew the brightness in his eyes were silently asking for you to let him just hold you. 

Fidgeting on the spot, you glanced down to where your arms covered your lower torso protectively, once again biting the inside of your cheek painfully as you exhaled shakily. “Hey,” Joel calling for you to look up once more, his brows a but more furrowed then before as his face sat more serious. “I’m not trying to beg here. Just because I’m asking doesn’t mean I’m going to force you even when you’re uncomfortable.” 

Teeth changing places to bit your lip harshly, before shaking your head. “No, I know. Just...” Once again glancing down to your torso you muttered, “Give me a minute, okay?” 

A deep hum vibrated in his chest, “Take your time, sweetheart.” 

Shower curtain closing, leaving you back in privacy. Taking everything else off was no thought. Folding everything into a neat pile off to the side, before it was just your shirt and underwear left. You caught your gaze in the mirror and turned cowardly. Flipping around you pulled off your bra from under the fabric, and sliding down your bottoms to join the rest. 

Colours flashed through your eyes as they squeezed shut, your throat forcing something choked up back down to the pit of your stomach. The blank wall in front of you did nothing to ease the anxiety, but you did it anyway. The shirt not even being given the care to add onto the stack. It landed in a light flop somewhere unknown as you swiveled to look at the curtain. 

From what you could tell, Joel stood near the shower head, so your slow pace aimed to the back where he had poked his head out. If you thought more about it you’d risk talking yourself out of it. So you gently pressed on, pulling the curtain back and stepping in. 

The sprays of water and steam were warmer then before, Joel no doubt turning up the temperature to what you preferred as he called ‘scolding’. 

Joel’s back was large and broad, sprinkles of water dripping down it as he kept his face turned from looking at you. Giving you the space to come to him. While your sigh was masked by the overpowering water, the colder touch of your hands smoothing over his back had Joel’s eyes flutter shut as his jaw clenched to keep from sighing out at the feeling. 

You needed a chance to feel comfortable around him like this, and the feeling of your gentle touch on his rougher skin tugging at his heart would only make you feel rushed to get a move on. So he stood, hands spinning the bar of soap in them instead. 

When you were a child, you had a blanket that was heavy and fuzzy. A soft weighted blanket that helped your troubled little brain to get to sleep easier. It’s feeling on your hands when you curled it into your front always brought you comfort. Tracing your fingers over Joel’s back felt just like that. 

He was the thing now that quieted that noise. And it wasn’t lost on you, that you were the same for him. Running down his sides, you hovered as they reached his waist. Taking a step forward, you rested the side of your head into his shoulder blade and pressed closer to him. 

Joel took the reigns from there. Grabbing your hands and pulling them around his middle, keeping his fingers as much with yours as he could, while he leaned his own head back. You rising your forehead up just enough to rest against each other. 

You’re heart beating enough for him to feel, but his warmth against your front lulling you a quieter state. Losing yourself in how he feels. A few minutes had passed before you unwrapped your hands, grasping the soap from him and pulling it back to you. 

Joel’s head started to turn, but you grabbed at his waist as a warning. He kept his head slightly turned to the side, but not enough to peek at you. “I’m supposed to be taking care of you.”

Lathering up the soap in so it foamed all over your hands, you smiled at what clearly was the sound of a pout in his tone. Resting the soap on an edge, you stood on your toes to reach his ear. “And whose taking care of you, Joel?” Not waiting for an answer, you pressed a kiss just below it and finally started to slide your hands over him. 

Every now and then you pulled back just enough to gather more soap, but you gently washed at his skin almost in a massage. Joel’s shoulders sagging as his arms braced themselves against the tiles. You leaned your chin over his shoulder, pressing another kiss to the untouched part of his jaw you could reach before gently pulling one arm closer to his front at a time. 

Joel’s eyes never looking away from your hands carefully moving over him, almost grasping his fingers just like before as you scrubbed them too. If you both didn’t feel so lost in the melancholy washing away to a serene quiet, one or both of you would have let a tease slip from the smirk on your faces as you knelt down close behind him. 

Neither of you though had that kind of energy in their veins at the moment. Joel keeping steady breaths as his eyes stayed shut, trying not to let whatever emotions bubbling up in his chest overwhelm him, where you were focused on letting the only touch he felt to be with gentle care. You could reach the front of his legs from here, treating the muscles from calf to thigh with the same massaging rub as you liked to do with his back. 

But you couldn’t reach his chest, and both of you knew that. The only way to do that for Joel was for him to face you. So once again, you hovered at his waist. “You don’t have to-” 

Instead, you kissed his jaw once more. Pressing your front against his back once more, “Turn around for me. Please.” 

You didn’t look at his face. Not yet ready to see where his eye line was looking at. Instead you focused on the task at hand. His chest broad and strong, but a softness as it goes along all the way down to his hips. You stared at his chest for a while, not even noticing the soft smile on your lips as you just traced your palms back up closer to his collarbones. 

Joel ran his hands over your hips, voice low in your ear. “You going to let me do what I called you in here, or what?” You nodded, not looking at him still but he pulled your chin up with his fingers, pressing a short kiss to you. “I’m gonna need the soap to do that, sweetheart.” 

He chuckled as you rolled your eyes, smacking the bar playfully into his open hand. Turning you by your shoulders. “Turn around for me.”

This time you had enough haze leave your head to let it slip this time. “What? No bend over to follow that up with?” 

Joel pinched your hip, muttering “Smartass,” into your ear. His own back kept the heavy stream out of your own face. Where he needed the hot water rushing over his face to drown out the loud yelling inside his head surrounding his heart with this intense feeling he didn’t want to scare you with. You needed to stay calm and open, just letting the steam clear your lungs to keep your breathing steady. 

His touch wasn’t as massaging, but thorough. Spending as much time as he could to run his hands over you as he washed you over. Joel’s hands though, were a bit more greedy. Taking the chance to grasp at your ass, a handful tight in each hand before rubbing around to your hips. 

Not turning you just yet, you felt him gather more soup and stepping so your back was pressed right up against his chest now. Both lathered up hands moving from yous shoulders to cupping your neck, pulling your head back onto his shoulder with it so he could kiss you. 

This time his lips matched his hands, greedy and teasing your mouth with his tongue while he gave the same treatment to your breasts as he did your ass. He smirked almost mischievously into your lips as he did so. 

His did though, stop his path just above where he knew made your heart pound. Your eyes straight forward now as you barley let any air move through you. Whatever your arm looked like when you had done it, your side looked worse. 

Jagged marks that you knew were once teeth had left scarring rips in the skin, and the ripples around it once cracked and bloody now sat flat but stark against your skin. The one on your arm didn’t bruise, but this had. Deep purples that had you sick to your stomach now shaded in yellows and greens as the stitches healed the wound shut for good. It still made you sick. 

But Joel, smooth his hand over it, first running back and forth before stopping, only letting his thumb do the smoothing over as your breathe hitched. His taller frame loomed over you enough to see the instant build up what could turn into tears at his touch. A large hand pulled you by the side of your head into him, pressing a kiss to your hair. Keeping you right there until he felt your body twirl its tense rigidness. 

Crouching down, he prompted you to turn to face him now. Removing his hand only to race his nose along the scars kissing whatever looked like it had been the most aggressively painful. You felt almost lightheaded, a choke rising in your chest. Giving you a kindness that you never thought would come to you for something that left you with nothing but pain and anger. Something no one had ever treated like it was just another part of your skin he wanted to adore. 

Your heart slowed, Joel pressing his forehead into the scar. Not even realizing, your hand naturally gravitated down, raking through his wet hair until you found a place to keep a gentle hold on. Nudging at it with his nose once more time, Joel looked up at you with his brown eyes shining. 

Your chest flamed and roared with turmoil, did you recognize this intensity in your heart? Was it a word that you were ready to share with the only person in your life who’d ever been told it by you, or was it all just too much in one time? Making your heart lurch in so many emotions. 

Either way you held a hand out to him. His large one encasing your smaller hand in his, the other braced on the scar without moving. Wrapping your arms around his neck only again threading your fingers through his hair, now soaking once again with water. “Thank you.” 

Little space was left between your bodies, leaving little room for Joel to find your eyes. “For what, sweet girl?” 

But you just smiled, shaking your head. “Just, for you.” 

It would be later on in the evening that Joel was inevitably called out. Food still on the table, you had stepped out onto the porch to go over a few things with Tommy who’d stopped by earlier. And who Joel had unceremoniously kicked out after having his own plate raided by his brother of all people. 

The front door was still open, but kept just enough for a small cool breeze inside, your voice muffled with Tommy’s when Joel casually looked over at Ellie. His own face fell flat at the pointed stare she was giving him. “Are you ever going to tell her, or do you want me to just do it for you?” 

Raising his eyebrows, he leaned his elbows onto the table with a squinting challenge on his face. “And what’s that exactly?” 

A childish grin grew on her face as he regretted goading her in the first place. “That you love her? That you’re deeply, madly, head over heels in love-” Her mock interrupted by a little yelp of protest as Joel pushed the side of her face away with a nudge of his palm. 

“Yeah, yeah got it. I regret asking.” Ellie wasn’t wrong, not in anyway was she wrong about that. But neither you or him were simple people. Your heads and lives filled with complexities not always easy to speak out loud. “It’s not...time.” 

Looking back at her, she huffed. Pushing food around on her plate to distract herself from the fact that she wasn’t going to keep eating until you got back. “Is it ever going to be time?” Her face wasn’t as playful as before. That yearning to all be together wasn’t carved deep into Joel’s soul alone. 

Joel pulled her as much as he could from their seats into his side. Pressing a kiss to the side of her head, the same heavy weight in his chest as the one in her. “When she’s ready.” 

The two of the had more to say, but Ellie scrambled to look as casual as possible when the shut of the front door echoed. Knowing nothing about what they talked about, you stopped in the middle of the door frame eyes narrowing at how guilty she looked. 

Joel smiled though, shaking his head to dismiss it as nothing more then goofing around. If he kept going at this rate, you’re relationships going to come full circle. Tommy or Maria spilling the beans to you for just how in love with you he was. If he wasn’t so determined to go at your own pace, he may have just given up and let them. 

Night fall blanketed fast over the sky, and the rest of the sailed by in peace. A feeling that tomorrow would be laughing at all too soon. 

You had agreed to join Joel and Tommy in the early hours the next morning. A stark chill in the air still cold enough to see your breath in, and a crispness that could sting if you were out in it too long. You were on your own, checking out some other areas while the two of them looked over the existing areas of interest. 

It was the footprints that caught your eye. Footprints in a secluded area that you know any of the people here didn’t hang around in. It looked like multiple at first but as you knelt down it was clearly one set that had been in this area for a while. No tracks led up to it, so they must have arrived either in the dead of night or just before dawn when the fresh snow fell down. 

All of them faced in the direction of town, all of them looking in the general vicinity of visible houses that you knew included Joel and Ellie’s. Your hand that had been keeping the gun strap your arm steady tightened. Your eyes scanning around you as you slowly stood up. 

Luckily for you, not enough snow had fallen yet to hide the prints so obviously trying to look conspicuous. Head towards where you knew Joel and Tommy had been in when you separated from them. If they were hiding out here, chances were they were sneaking on the outskirts for as long as possible. 

Can’t hide from someone who used to do the same thing. You traveled alone for a long time, something that required you to be watchful and stealthy. Following the weasel to their current position wouldn’t take too much effort in this weather. It was what you’d find that was the unknown. 

It was the same building that you first sat in where Joel and Tommy stopped by. The heater worked best in there, and they typically went over things inside there before the day filled up with people. “I’m gonna heat it up before you forget too.” Lucky for Joel, Ellie was more insistent about staying warm then he was. 

By the time he and Tommy arrived, Ellie was already toasty and sitting along a counter waiting to be let in on their talks. She didn’t do much for now, but Joel preferred to have her with them and listen or watch. Let her watch and she’ll give a hand when she’s ready. 

Ellie looked behind them as they walked in with a furrow in her brow, asking your name. 

Shrugging off his own weapons he laid them on the counter space beside her. “Went to go look for anything that might have shown up overnight. I’ll go look for her if she doesn’t show up soon.” He walked over to where Tommy laid out some simple blueprints for the outer security, palm resting flat on the table with the other on his hip as they made scribbles on the already marked up paper. 

Ellie narrowed her eyes at the rifles next to her and hopped down. Grabbing both she occupied herself with hanging them by their straps onto a safe part of the wall close to the back room hall. What she didn’t notice, was the click of a window lock at the end of the clearly empty hallway. 

Nothing was over there and she didn’t think anything else. Just walked back to the main room, arms crossed to hide her hands deeper into her sweater and leaned against the wall reading the spread out work on the table diligently. 

Part of Joel had to tell himself to focus more. Despite the sun barley peeking up when he woke up, it was still too late in the morning to do anything about how addictive it felt to wake up inside you. He really didn’t mean to fall asleep the entire night like that, but there was something that pinged deep in his heart to have you that close to him at both of your most venerable. 

You both had to get up and head out though, only enough time to tease you when he pulled his half hard cock from your somehow still wet pussy and leaving a few bites at your neck to pull a gasp of his name out of you before separating entirely to get dressed. He teased himself though, because now all he wanted was to find a time during the day to pull you home and throw you onto the bed like he really wanted too. 

He just wasn’t as focused as he should have been. Tommy was doing most of the talking, better at forming a plan in his head when he voiced it to his brother and so him noticing was less then likely. 

No one was even faced the right direction to see the down the hallway. It was closer to the front door then the table they stood around, so no one saw the gentle slide of the same window that clicked unlocked earlier. A single gloved hand raising it up as slow as possible to keep the sound down and moving just as slow as the figure raised up to bent over it. 

First one leg went though to straddle the frame, hovering over the floor to make sure the sound of their shoe stepping down wasn’t heard. Just as slow they ducked their head and torso inside and climbed in, not bothering to stay low as their final leg joined in. 

Their body only turned to the side enough to reach the window, and slid it down shut even more at a snails pace then to open it. Their head never turned to look at what their hands were doing. They were watching and no chance were those eyes going to go anywhere but the target. 

Joel was tied between the talks he and Tommy were discussing, and wondering how long it’d take for you to get there. Having you move in might have been a bad idea, because now Joel had the biggest excuse to be weak. Something deep in his mind wanted to just be selfish and drag you back to your bed together and keep you there because now it didn’t matter how long you he kept you there. 

His fingers scratched at the wood on the table as his eyes looked over the paper mapping out what path he’d walk to try and catch up to you. You were quiet and inquisitive, if something caught your eye you had a tendency to let it occupy your focus and forget to update anyone. It was cold this morning, and it was early and part of Joel was just feeling greedy to keep you with him today. 

No one noticed. The front of the door was lined with a map and a strip of carpet that followed the length of the counter before tapering off into the wooden floors of the main room. Any movement was quiet if the person didn’t move so quickly or suddenly. 

Facing away, the backs of Joel and Tommy were the only main vision in sight of the figure, but crouched onto the ground to keep from being clear and in sight put Ellie somewhat in their eye line. She was smaller though, astute eyes currently trained on the two men she looked up too. Without knowing anything about her, it could be assumed she was too weak or cowardly to even do anything if she looked this way. 

Joel only just so happened to glance up, asking Ellie a question. “We’ll head over there later and I can show you how to set that up, okay?” His voice was soft and genuine, but his eyebrows raised along with a darkening of his eyes at her sudden distracted face. 

Ellie was good at paying attention and her current distraction was wide eyed. Bordered on a shocked surprise and not in a good way. It was a way that had Joel’s heart lurch in his chest, and Tommy seemed to see and feel it at the same time. 

Joel and Tommy didn’t turn around right away, it felt like as they did it was in slow motion. It wasn’t even the split second they saw Ellie’s expression that caused it, it was the echo in the empty room that clicked loudly. Distinctly. 

Ellie’s hand shot out and grasped the fabric of Joel’s arm like a crutch as both men turned to the noise behind them. But it wasn’t the approaching footsteps finally reaching the wooden floor that was what they heard. 

The three of them looked to the front of the room at the unmistakable sound of a cocking shotgun, one set ready to fire at any time. Whipping around though, the figure on the ground didn’t do it. The figure on the ground wasn’t even a face they knew. 

A man stooped crouched onto the ground, with both hands just barley risen into the air in defense, never having a chance to grab at whatever he had stored in his pockets. Behind the unknown man was the source of the loading shotgun. 

Not a foot behind him, you stood with the weapon steady in your arms aimed at the back of the figure’s head. Your eyes steeled in an unblinking harshness Joel had rarely seen on you. 

The man didn’t dare move, but in a tone just above a whisper, threw out a plea. 

“I’m just here to talk..” 

If you and Joel had one thing that refused to get in the way of how you felt about each other? It was that no matter what was about to happen you and Joel knew that whatever the consequences would be? You and him were in it together no matter what. The deep yearning in Joel’s heart to tell you the true extend of the love he could barley keep hidden from you anymore would have to wait, or at least find a way to show you despite whatever was about to come of this.

You didn’t blink, nor did your readiness to fire change. The man’s eyes widened in what looked like fear as he heard your voice cut through sharply into the silence. No joke or lightness in your voice, and the familiarity of it had the already caught the man in a trap of what he had walked in on. His face showing to all three of them that he was doused in the freezing water of shock and fear, at the realization who was at the other end of the shotgun.

You only had one response for the unknown man.

“Is talking really all you’re here for, Owen?” 

[emeritusemeritus]

Just wanna bewitch you in the moonlight. Pt 12.

[Fred Weasley x reader x George Weasley]

Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

Title: Just wanna bewitch you in the moonlight.

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader x George Weasley

Timeline: Predominately set between GOF and OOTP (some canon has been altered to fit the story)

Summary: Both twins like Gryffindor!reader. Reader likes both twins. How will she decide who to chose in the end? Amortentia might be able to help, or not.

Warnings: Smut, oral sex, p in v sex, established relationships, threesomes, friends to lovers, all the good stuff. NO Twincest. Mentions of illness, Brief mentions of vomiting. Tiny bit of angst, possessiveness, talk of kids. Mentions of dominant behaviour. Snape has a soft spot for reader. Love potions? But none are actually used. Threesomes but again NO Twincest. Cormac Mclaggen, because he needs his own warning. Not beta-read nor spell checked, we die like Sirius ❤️

The final chapter 🤍

Monday morning came too quickly, you thought, as you gathered your usual potions books and went down to breakfast with your friends, meeting Hermione down in the common room so you could go together. Last night was the first night you'd spent alone all week and you struggled to sleep without the two familiar bodies beside you, tossing and turning for most of the night struggling to get comfy.

They weren't at breakfast that morning and Ron, digging into his third course of breakfast had let you know that they were doing an early morning quidditch practice with the whole team to make up for the lost week, hence half of your group being missing at breakfast.

You made your way to the potions classroom alone having missed Katie in the hall, stopping briefly as you stepped off of the stairs hearing your name called out. It was Cormac Mclaggen, sprinting down the stairs to catch up with you. You inwardly groaned, not prepared for his ego this early in the morning. Truth was he was always pleasant to you but you found his company boring and stifling, the conversation never quite drifting away from him.

"Y/n! You walk fast," he says as he descends down the stairs in a hurry, trying to catch up with you.

"How was your week? I was hunting Nogtails in Norfolk with my uncle Tiberius and Rufus Scrimgeour, you know the head of the Auror Office? Myself and Bertie, Higgs, our family friend, caught two on our first day alone," he says smugly, completely overriding his question as he walked in step with you towards Snape's classroom. You bummed out a vague reply, trying to subtly walk quicker to decrease the amount of time you'd need to spend with him, cursing the distance between the staircase and the classroom.

"It's so odd to see you away from those Weasley boys, you're quite a package deal aren't you, I didn't see them at breakfast either," he muses.

"They had quidditch practice this morning, Angelina's trying to make up for the lack of practice sessions last week," you mumbled unenthusiastically, trying to be polite but not enthused.

"Such a shame I wasn't able to try out again this year, Davis bet me to eat a pound of poisonous doxy eggs and I spent the week in the infirmary, though I'm sure you're aware. It was the talk of the school that week," he says with a tone of pride, making you want to gag.

You hardly turned to him but felt him look towards you as you neared the classroom. He suddenly reached out to touch your shoulder and stopped you just before you crossed the threshold to the potions corridor.

"So I was wondering," he says, pushing back his curly hair in a move that you were sure he'd practiced countless times in front of the mirror, "we've never talked that much and it's quite honestly a shame, I'd like to get to know you a little better," he smiles, perfectly straight and shiny white teeth glinting at you as he leans against the wall in front of you, blocking the classroom with his arm. "How would you like to accompany me to Hogsmeade this weekend? We could get to know each other better over a butterbeer or two, my treat of course."

You could have thrown up in your mouth at the very thought, even without the smug and smarmy look on his face as he asked. You didn't even remotely know how to respond to his offer, wanting to shoot him down immediately but still remain civil enough.

Luckily for you, that decision was taken out of your hands as Professor Snape burst out of his office at precisely the right time.

"I suggest you don't linger in doorways Mclaggen, your prospects in this class might be acutely inadequate but to prevent a prosperous student from acquiring her education might be the most shallow and egregious thing you've done thus far," he grumbles as he barges past, his gaze fixed upon Mclaggen's arm as it blocks your entry to his classroom. Snape gestures briefly for you to walk ahead of him as soon as Cormac drops his arm and he follows behind you as you enter the classroom, leaving Cormac standing out in the corridor with his mouth agape.

Snape stalks over to the front of the classroom, swishing his wand to close the shutters on the windows, leaving only the large window at the front of the class to light the room.

"Today's class will be a continuation of our last session, I pray one week away has not melted your tiny brains and that some information was retained," he says as he scribbles on the chalkboard, writing 'Amortentia' in his beautiful, decorative script.

"Last week miss y/l/n brewed a perfect draft of Amortentia and I would like for you all to try and replicate this impressive feat," he says, gesturing towards a small vial of potion in his hand, a sample of your potion from last week. "You may work in partners, I dare say the probability of success should be increased but I have yet to see such things."

Chatter begins to spread throughout the classroom as people link up and you're name is called out more than a few times as people hope to partner up with you.

"Miss y/l/n shall be working alone, her accomplishments will not be diminished by an idle participant. The recipe and method are listed in your textbooks, page 634, the ingredients have been placed by your benches, I expect a better turn out than last week."

He moves to stand beside your bench and you look up at him expectedly, not yet starting your preparations for brewing the love potion.

"Would you stop by my office after class?"

"Yes sir," you reply politely, confused by his request but not dwelling on it as you gather ingredients. He nods and walks away with a flourish of his cape, already calling out students for not using the proper method.

Your nerves consumed you, not of brewing the potion again but of the result. Having spent the week with the Weasley's, you were more conflicted than ever about who you truly loved, finding no resolution to your conflict. The night you'd all spent together had only further added to your confusion, finding that it felt right and without conflict and there had been no awkwardness or regret from any of you the next morning.

You set to brewing the potion, the same way you had the previous week though this time you paid meticulous attention to the heat, ensuring that it didn't boil over again, even for a moment. You still weren't convinced that you'd brewed it correctly, despite Snape's claims, knowing that the changing smells must have been a fault.

You caught sight of Cormac in the corner who was already looking at you, wiggling his eyebrows as he looked at you brewing love potion. You thought for a brief second you'd need a second cauldron to vomit into but you didn't humour him and just turned your attention back to your potion.

Once you'd added all of your ingredients, you turned off the flame below and allowed it to sit on the residual heat just as you had before, this time watching as each bubble popped to the surface, keeping a fixed eye upon the steady effervescence.

The moonstone powder circulated in the elixir and began to shine in a pearlescent swirl, signs that it was already coming together. When the steam above the cauldron began to twist and change, forming long spirals, you knew you'd done it once again.

Snape was on hand immediately, apparently carefully overseeing your creation and stepped forward to once again place a lilyfig leaf into the mixture. He let out a small, clipped smile as the leaf disintegrated before your eyes, eroding in the liquid until it had disappeared entirely. Snape looked up towards you with a look you couldn't place, holding your gaze for just a moment before announcing to the glass that you had once again drafted a quíntese example of what Amortentia should be.

"20 points to Gryffindor," he says, looking up at you as you break out into a thankful but bashful smile. The Gryffindor's in the room all cheer excitedly at your collection of house points, shouting out your name and hollering until Snape puts an end to the ruckus. He then nods once towards you and moves away, tending to other cauldrons that seem to be on the verge of boiling over or worse.

It was now or never. You looked at the potion before you, entranced by the spiralling steam and stepped closer, ready to discover for the second time who you would smell. You tried to clear your mind, not to think of either twin as to not cloud your judgment and stepped forward, preparing to smell either Dandelion and Burdock or Pumpkin Spice.

When neither came, you frowned, looking down at the potion that seemed to be correct but wasn't emitting anything you recognised, until it hit you.

The smell of the ground after it had rained.

It had always been one of your favourite smells in the world, only right now there was a very specific memory attached to that scent, the particular smell of dried grass mixing in with it that made you certain where the scent originated.

The morning after your threesome with the twins.

You began to stir, slowly rising out of your dreams as wakefulness overcomes you, quickly realising that you were lay in bed between both twins who were still sleeping soundly either side of you. You stretched out your legs and winced a little at the soreness between your legs but couldn't help but bloom into a smile at the thought of the previous night, of being loved by both of them, together. The ache between your legs served as a reminder or a souvenir you could say of the wonderful night.

Not wanting to disturb them, you lay in bed and looked out of the window, seeing the warm hues of dawn outside, the rain no longer falling as the sun bloomed over the hilltops.

"G'morning princess," Fred says sleepily from behind you, pressing a kiss to your shoulder as he pulls you closer to him and cuddles you.

"Morning handsome," you whisper as you smile, not wanting to wake George just yet as you snuggle into him, feeling him press gentle kisses to any area exposed to him.

"It's stopped raining," you say absently as you feel him stretch out his long legs behind you. He hums in reply, too focused on you. You see George begin to stir in front of you and even in his sleep he reaches out for you, arm extending to drop around your waist. You reach over, shifting in Fred's hold but not pulling away, to press a little kiss to the tip of George's nose, seeing him do a little scrunch off his nose and then a little blissful smile as he begins to wake.

His eyes flutter open and he smiles sleepily as he sees you, his hand reaching to stroke your waist as he wakes up.

"Morning angel," he says quietly, his voice still deep and rusty from sleep, making your heart skip.

"Morning Georgie," you smile, reaching out for him too, placing your hand on his chest.

You all lay cuddling for a little while, just enjoying the slowness and stillness of the peaceful morning before George gets up to open the window, feeling a little warm from the body heat.

"It's stopped raining," he points out, climbing back into the comfy bed and making you smile at the similar comment you made earlier. Immediately the smell of the ground after the rain drifts in through the window and takes over your senses completely, wrapping you in an extra layer of comfort and peace as you lie there between your loves.

The scent suddenly changes and pulls you out of your little daydream, the strong scent wrapping around you like a warm blanket as you smell familiar whizzbang smoke, so identifiable in its undertones that you can't help but smile. The musky, burnt smell is instantly recognisable as it mixes with a lingering sweetness that cannot be confused with anything else.

The scent then changes abruptly to something you couldn't place. It was unlike anything you'd ever smelt, an array of scents mixed together so perfectly that the individual notes were indecipherable. Almost like a smoky incense with sweet notes and something clean, a warmth to the scent that seemed to ignite something in you that you couldn't explain. You frowned, not knowing what it was but it was undeniable that it made you think of both Fred and George, like a perfect blend of the two.

It was both. You loved them both.

Tears brimmed at your eyes as you stood looking down into the shining liquid but this time they were tears of pure happiness and elation. You no longer felt any guilt or shame at your feelings, knowing that it was unequivocally equal.

But then the weight of guilt and pain overwhelmed you again, knowing that now you would never be able to choose between them.

Class finished rather uneventfully and you couldn't help but thank Professor Snape for asking you to stick around and visit his office afterwards, having seen Cormac waiting for you in the corridor.

"Run along McLaggen," Snape says as he ushers you out the classroom towards his office, hardly casting a glance to Cormac as he glided past him. You followed diligently as you rounded the corridor towards the heavy wooden door at the end; the potion master's office. You'd only been in Snape's office once before, on account of Fred and George's antics. You were all reprimanded and given detention, though you were only guilt by association that time.

You stepped into the dark, cellar-like room and gazed around at the dark wooden shelves littered with multiple glass jars that spanned the entirety on the room, the circular desk in the center being the focal point of the entire room. Snape moves to stand behind the desk, offering you a seat in one of the plush leather chairs as he shifts a pile of exercise books and essay parchments that you assumed he had been marking.

"Professor Mcgonagall has told me that you have a meeting with her tomorrow in regards to your career prospectives," he says, taking a seat at his chair.

"Yes sir," you confirm, nodding slightly as he pulls out a pile of papers.

"And you are intending to carry on with Potions at NEWT level?"

"Yes sir," you nod again, a little confused by Snape's questions. "I got outstanding in my OWLs, I understood that was the criteria?"

"Yes," he says absently, "and do you wish to carry out a career in brewing?"

"I'm not sure sir, I enjoy it and I seem to be proficient enough," you say, trying not to sound clueless, not quite wanting to admit that you didn't have a plan for your future.

"Well quite," he interjects, attentively listening to your answer. A smile flashes briefly on your face at his conversational addition before you continue speaking.

"I just don't quite know what I want," you answer honestly, the irony of your words not lost on you as you consider that you were just as indecisive in all elements of your life.

He hums out a vague reply as he considers your words before leaning forward on the desk, hands crossed as he speaks directly to you.

"Have you not considered applying for prefect status?" His words surprise you and you can do nothing but shake your head, not wanting to voice your honest truth that it would conflict too much with your personal life, knowing that you'd have to either turn a blind eye to your boyfriend's antics or repeatedly get them in trouble.

"The reason I ask, is that a position will be available at the start of next term as potion master's assistant," he explains, "it would entail preparing ingredients, organising the stores, including my own, ordering, inventory and various necessary admin. I'd like to firstly offer the position to you." Your eyebrows shoot you into your head at his words, astounded by his offer. "You've proven time and time again how proficient you are and I dare say you would be the only student in the school worthy of the title."

You open your mouth to reply but nothing comes out, still in a state of shock at his offer, trying once again not to blush at his praise.

"I'll require an answer by the end of the week, after that the role will be offered to other students," he adds, "please consider my offer, it will serve you well in the future, even if your chosen path is not amongst this craft."

"Thank you professor," you say, finally managing to get the words out. "It's an honour to be chosen, I'll consider it," you smile, feeling a little overwhelmed. He nods with soft eyes, pleased by your reply. A moment passes as you wait to be dismissed and he gestures to the door, allowing you to leave. You gather your books and smile up at him about to exit when you turn back, "Professor, thank you for the book recommendation the other day, it's certainly much better than Jigger's Opuscule," you laughed, walking out of the office before closing the door and walking up the stairs to the great hall.

You were mightily thankful that Cormac had taken Snape's advice and had disappeared by the time you exited the dungeons. You made your way to the great hall ready for lunch after your double lesson and meeting with Snape.

You were a little nervous at seeing the twins since your discovery in potions and the role offer that followed, realising on your walk that you had so much to discuss with them.

Everyone was already gathered around the dining table at you walked into the hall, already tucking in to their lunches, Ron with particular vigour as usual. George looked up first, seeing you approach and gave you a sweet smile as he shifted down on the bench, making more room between himself and Fred. As George shifted, Fred looked up and smiled at you, also making room between the pair, though in a much blunter sense as he ordered Neville to scoot up, shoving his plate away for him.

You greeted everyone as you took your place and immediately felt two hands on each of your thighs, one from each twin underneath the table. George's stayed a little more PG over your skirts whereas Fred hand slipped under the fabric, caressing your bare leg just about your knee.

"Here she is," Cormac said, standing behind Ginny who was seated across from you. You immediately tensed upon hearing his voice, knowing that whatever slipped from his mouth would antagonise the twins.

"McLaggen," you greeted unenthusiastically, almost sighing at you reached for a piece of chicken, your gaze hardly meeting his, praying he'd go away.

"You never gave me an answer you know," he says flirting with a wiggle of his eyebrows and you immediately feel both twins beside you tense, Fred's hand inadvertently gripping your thighs just a little tighter. George straightened in his seat, as if making himself taller and more alert, no doubt fixing Mclaggen with a harsh stare. "Those house points you received have only upped my offer. Snape may have let you escape this time but I'll be waiting." He winks and walks away and you have to hold back a shudder at the thought. How long had he stood practising that line?

"Um what was that about?" Ron said, briefly pausing his feasting to look at you with a confused face.

"She got 20 points again in class!" Katie said excitedly from the other side of Neville, and the response was mixed amongst your group. Ginny, Harry, Neville and Hermione all celebrated your little win, telling you well done as they smiled at the little victory. Ron looked confused as ever, still frowning as George and Fred beside you looked tense and quite frankly, pissed off.

"Not that," Fred spat out, turning to look at you harshly.

You sighed, feeling your good mood slipping further and further away.

"Cormac asked me out," you said with a shrug, focusing your attention on picking at your chicken leg so you didn't have to look at anyone, "Snape burst in before I could tell him no."

"Why would you tell him no?" Hermione asks outraged and you can't help but shoot your gaze up to her at her sudden outburst, seeing her turn bright red as she realises she'd said that out loud. "Well he's not exactly bad looking, as Trolls and things go and his father's rather high up in the ministry," she mumbles, trying to dig herself out of a hole.

You snort at her words and place down the chicken you'd still yet to eat, "well if that's the new requirements for a boyfriend then Malfoy better watch out," you joke, trying to break the tension. "Personally I'd like more than not a troll and a rich daddy."

"Oh yeah, like what?" George says, seemingly less pissed off than his identical brother who still seemed tense and frustrated. You shoot him a little look as if to say what the hell and he merely smirks down at you, knowing exactly what he's doing.

"Aww Georgie, sad I didn't describe you?" You tease, trying to act as just friends in front of everyone. "You want me to say tall, ginger and funny so you can sleep tonight?"

Everyone around the table laughs, unaware of the deeper meaning to your words.

"Shove off," he replies without any conviction, playing his role perfectly as he shoots you a subtle wink. Fred seems to have defrosted slightly but still seems a little more uptight than usual and so you knew you had to pull out the big guns. "You wish," he adds with a knowing smirk.

"I was actually talking about Fred," you joke, nudging the other brother who suddenly smiled a little dopey smile and you felt his hand un-tense around your leg as he stroked his thumb over your skin softly.

"I am better looking than you," he smirks as his brother who simply rolls his eyes and you're glad to see that the tension had finally slipped away.

"So how come you were so late?" Ginny asks, putting down her knife and fork before reaching for her goblet of pumpkin juice.

"Oh," you said, "Snape called me into his office."

The twins immediately 'oooh' as everyone looks at you surprised, thinking the worst.

"What did you do? Blow up a cauldron?" Fred jokes.

"Relabel the Lacewing flies?" George adds.

"Talk in class?" Fred.

"Late?" George.

"Skirt too short?" Fred smirks.

"No," you huff before turning your head straight to Fred, realising his words, "what's wrong with my skirt?" You ask.

"Literally nothing," he flirts and you roll your eyes, elbowing his arm as George chuckles.

"He asked me to be potion master's assistant next term," you explain, finally taking a bite out of your lunch. Everyone goes silent, looking surprised at you.

"That's unheard of!" Hermione says, a little too loudly. "No sixth year has ever been an assistant! It's like a first year getting head girl!"

You don't know what to say and simply shrug, turning back to your lunch.

"Well done princess," you hear Fred say as he leans into you subtly, making you blush. George's hand creeps up your back to stroke at your hip and you turn to look at him to see a sweet smile that conveys his own congratulations.

"You must take it!" Hermione says, pressing the matter. "You'd surely be the youngest Head's assistant in history!"

"I'm thinking about it," you reply with a nod, trying to tune out the rest of the conversation, hoping it shifts to something else. Eventually it does and you take the opportunity to lean over to Fred, whispering in his ear.

"Are you free later?" You ask and he looks up at you with a nod, eyes washing over your face, towards your lips before flicking back up to meet your gaze, trying to figure out your intentions.

"Black lake after hours?" You ask, raising your eyebrow teasingly at him and you can see the initial surprise in his eyes before he nods, a little too enthusiastically which makes you smile. He subtly nods to his twin who is deep in conversation with Angelina about something quidditch you didn't understand and you shake your head at his nonverbal question, trying to convey that you wanted him alone. His smile widens just slightly as his hand squeezes your thigh again before you both turn back to the larger group, hoping nobody saw your little exchange.

You'd managed to borrow the Marauders map from Harry for your little jaunt, knowing that it would be tricky to sneak all the way out without a lookout and you didn't trust yourself to be alert enough around Fred. You met Fred in the common room and began to sneak around the corridors, avoiding Filch and prefects until you were stood in front of the statue of Gregory the Smarmy, shifting around it with great precision until you slipped into the little passageway beneath that lead out onto the grounds surrounding the school, close to the lake.

"So princess," Fred says as you walk out towards the lake, taking your hand in his, "Is there a reason for this or did you just miss me?"

"Both," you admitted, pulling him closer to you by your entwined hands, feeling elated at getting to spend time with him as your boyfriend, away from everyone else.

You made your way to the bank and sat down on the rocks, looking out at the calm, moonlit water. Your nerves were starting to get the better of you as you looked at Fred, seeing the moonlight framing his face beautifully, illuminating his sparkling eyes and highlighting his strong features.

"I wanted to talk, about everything, away from George," you said, breaking the silence. Fred turns to you with hesitation in his eyes, feeling the foreboding sense of pain. "I'm going to just speak openly about what I need you to know and I just want you to listen okay, otherwise I'll never get through this and please no teasing, it's hard enough to admit without that." He nods silently, showing that he's listening.

You stand, pacing a little already as you fight to get the words out with Fred still seated watching your every move.

"It's always been you. You have been my best friend since practically my first day here. It was you that always gave me butterflies and your name I used to scribble in my little notebooks, you I'd focus on during Quidditch games and cheer the loudest for. I can't remember a time that I didn't fancy you, even as a first year before I really knew what it meant to like someone, I always felt some extra kind of pull towards you. Then you started growing your hair out and I thought I was going to die from being so attracted to you, like every time you looked at me I thought I might faint. And then the flirting started and the little touches and then that night at the pond at your house happened, when you and George told me how you felt and since then I've been a mess. I never intended to fall for George, it just happened so naturally and so quickly that I feel like I'm still dizzy from it," you pause, taking a long breath as you suddenly stop pacing.

A sudden rush makes you jump as Fred moves to stand directly in front of you.

"You said 'fall for George', you love him?" He asks, towering over you. You nod, trying to be brave under his imploring eyes.

"Do you love me?" He asks, his vulnerability showing as his slightly sad eyes look into yours. You nod again and are suddenly swept into a kiss that steals the breath from your lungs, his hand cradling your chin as he pulls you deeper and deeper in. When you pull apart, Fred rests his lips on your forehead, the height different allowing him to tuck you into his body, chin resting on your head as he holds you.

"I love you," you say, pulling away slightly so that you can look up at him, seeing an infectious smile blooming across his face.

"Princess, I've loved you for a very long time," he says, still smiling as he leans down to give you another passionate kiss.

"But, George," he says after a moment, pulling away to look at you with a mixture of emotions you can't identify. A figure in the near distance makes you smile as you spot them walking towards you with perfect timing.

"Evening," George says as he approaches you both, handing you the marauders map that you'd agreed to 'drop' in the hidden passageway beneath Gregory the Smarmy, allowing George to join you. Fred looks at you both and chuckles, thankfully seeing the funny side of your little plan.

"You knew?" He asks his twin, playfully shoving him as George nods with a little chuckle.

"She caught me earlier, snook away from Charms during our free period," George explains before he reaches out and kisses your head, taking a seat on the rocks, joined by his twin a moment later as they look up at you.

"Same rules, please just let me get this all out first," you say, continuing your little speech. "You both know as much as the other right now and if I stop I won't be able to start again." They nod, muttering some kind of verbal acknowledgment as George waves his hand, urging you to continue.

You take a deep breath and start again, trying to calm your nerves and pluck up some form of confidence.

"Something happened before the break, in Potions," you explained, finally telling them the whole story. "You asked me what I smelled that day brewing the Amortentia and I never told you because I thought I'd made a faulty batch." You sighed, turning to look at them, seeing the confused looks on their faces, a tense sadness lingering as they waited to hear what you were going to say, who you were going to chose.

"I smelt dandelion and burdock, then toasted marshmallows and then whizzbang smoke," you admitted, adding quickly as you looked towards George, "but then Snape came over and distracted me, my potion started bubbling so I ran over and turned it off the heat but when I went back to it, it didn't smell the same. It was pumpkin spice, your jumper and whizzbang smoke."

You looked away from them again, trying to force out the last part of your little speech.

"I know you both want me to choose and believe me I've tried, I've desperately tried, but I can't, I can't choose when I love you both. This morning in potions, we brewed Armortentia again and this time it was different, it wasn't either of you it was both, mixed together. The smell after the rain, whizzbang smoke and... something else I can't place like a complete mixture of you two? It's hard to explain, it's warm and sweet but clean and faintly smoky, I don't know what it is but it's definitely you."

You started pacing again. "You're going to leave after this year and I still have my last year to do, Snape wants me to be his assistant, you're going to go off and starting the shop and I'm going to be left behind and I'm worried about that. I can't chose between you and I'm going to lose you both just because I stupidly fell in love with both of you, you can't wait forever and you'll find someone else and I can't be without either of you."

They both stand in unison, moving towards you, causing you to stop rambling.

"We'll not be at school, but we'll always wait for you," Fred says reaching out for you.

"We want a future with you, regardless of what or who you decide or even if you don't, we'll be here," George adds, taking your hand. Tears form in your eyes as you finally disclose everything you've been feeling.

"Y/n," Fred says, pulling your attention back to him, his tone serious as he uses your full name, "I've liked you ever since you sat down at the table after you were sorted into Gryffindor and I've loved you almost as long as that, every single day I love you more," he says, looking directly at you, "truthfully, I'd have been broken if you chose George but I'd have respected your decision and let you both be happy."

"And for me, exactly the same. I've loved you just as long but I accepted that it was Fred you liked, always secretly hoping you'd look at me the way you did him. But then you did and every day since I've felt like the luckiest wizard alive," George says, wiping at your eyes as a tear falls down your cheek. "This whole thing started because we both wanted to be with you and we wanted to both have a chance at loving you, that hasn't changed," he adds. Fred nods along with his brother's words.

"We knew how hard it would be for you to choose but we didn't anticipate how hard it would be for either of us to let go," Fred says, linking his hand with yours so that they were both holding one of your hands. "And then our feelings got deeper and we sensed that yours did too." You nodded along with him, agreeing with his words.

"Angel," George says, pulling your attention to him, "I don't know how it's going to work, but we'll make it work because it's us," he says, "we create our own future, remember? That night on the balcony, you told me how proud you were of us, defying conventions and other's opinions, of knowing what we want?" You nodded along again, remembering the conversation clearly. "We want you. So we defy expectations and ignore opinions. I told you I'd keep you forever if I could and that's exactly what I plan on doing."

"Me too, I might add," Fred says with a cheeky smile.

"I love you both, so much," you say, looking between them.

"I love you," George says, moving to kiss you, pulling you in to his chest. You then turn to Fred who smirks as he walks over.

"I love you too," he says, grinning as he leans down to kiss you deeply. "More, I might add," he whispers as you pull away, earning a swift kick to the shin by his twin.

After that night, you made it official with the twins, no longer having to hide your relationship from your friends and peers. You'd expected people to be more shocked and less amenable than they were but as soon as the initial gossip had circulated, you found that almost everyone was accepting of your unconventional relationship. Molly and Arthur had been surprised to say the least but they had quickly come around to the idea and had been as warm and welcoming as ever, especially excited at the prospect of you being their future daughter in law, which was brought up often.

Time passed quickly during the twins' last year as you spent your time preparing for your NEWTS, spending time with your friends and boyfriends, cheering at quidditch games and being Potion Master's assistant, the role you'd accepted only a day after Snape's offer.

You still didn't have a set plan for your future, all you knew was that Fred and George would be a prominent and continuous fixture within it, the two men you loved.

{Flash forward}

It was early in the morning on a sunny April Saturday when you walked down Diagon Alley, three takeaway teas in hand from the cafe around the corner as you strolled towards the brightest shop in the street, both in colour and innovation.

93 Diagon Alley was a beacon of light in the otherwise dull street, the other stores not holding a candle to it's vibrancy. You'd been given a special leave for the weekend, signed off by both your father and your 'boss' the potion master, under the guise that you would be collecting orders for the school's potion stores. In honesty, you were here for the grand opening of your boyfriends' shop, finally getting to see it in person for the first time after months of planning and designing with them.

You beamed with a smile as you spotted the humongous figurehead of your boyfriends' likeness in the front window, enchanted to repeatedly remove  and then restore the top hat, revealing a rabbit underneath the hat. Above the shop was the flat where your boyfriends had moved in to after leaving the burrow, the same flat you planned to move into with them once school was over.

Your smile only increased when you spotted two very familiar faces waiting by the front door to the shop, already dressed for the day in their three piece suits which were not identical in colour but were matching in every other sense. You walked quickly over the cobbles as you felt the cardboard carrying tray and the teas levitate out of your hand; seeing George flourishing his wand so that they didn't spill as you began racing towards them after not seeing them for nearly two weeks. You ran straight into Fred's waiting arms as George placed the teas beside you, waiting his turn with you.

Fred pulled you immediately into a passionate kiss, his left arm wrapped tightly around your waist, holding you to his body whilst his right hand crept to his favourite spot on your jaw.

As you pulled apart, George pulled you towards him by your hand and immediately kissed you with as much passion as Fred, his arms caging you in his hold.

"I'm so excited! It looks so amazing, I'm already so proud of you both!" You beamed excitedly, ready to be the first official customer inside the doors of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.

They both beamed in pure elation as Fred unlocked the door with his wand, casting some form of enchantment they used as the door opened wide, showcasing the mind blowing interior, stocked to the high heavens with all their amazing creations. Fred stepped aside, ushering you to step through first as they moved to walk behind you, carefully watching your face as you entered their pride and joy.

As you stepped through the threshold of the store, your breath caught in your throat as two things overwhelmed you simultaneously. Firstly, the sheer pride and amazement at the store in its entirety, so beautifully created to be the physical embodiment of everything Fred and George stood for. The shop was warm, fun, playful and eccentric, their life's creations displayed over five inviting and magical floors, filled to the brim with joy.

The second thing that rendered you entirely breathless was the smell. Clean, warm, sweet and smoky, all mixed together to create the perfect scent of your boyfriends. You couldn't stop the tears that ran down your face in pure happiness as you were finally able to place the scent that had plagued you everyday since you brewed the second draft of Amortentia. You laughed out loud in sheer delight at the absurdity of it all, the final piece connecting to perfect the puzzle of your life.

"The smell," you explained, turning to the twins who were watching you with slight concern at your reaction, seeing tears falling down your face. "This was the third scent of the love potion, the one I could never explain. It was both of you, it was always both of you."

Thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to read, like, comment and reblog my work! I’ve enjoyed every second of writing this series and hope to add more to their love story in the future 🖤✨

[ladylaviniya]

The Negatives of Shooting People

Chapter 5 || MasterList || Chapter 7

Chapter Summary: You get the ultimate privilege of meeting Nicholas Tortano who grants you the ability to surprise August Walker

Chapter Warnings: 18+ Dead Dove Do Not Eat, Sexual tension, P in V intercourse, fingering, petnames, dubious consent, hate sex, rough sex, gun violence, threats with a gun, forceful handling, belittling, manipulation The reader vomits and is kissed briefly at some point. Mentions of dacryphilia, sadism.

Pairing: Kingpin!August Walker X F!reader

Word Count: .I dont honestly know but it's definitely more than 6k

Author Notes: the chapter and editing process was very rough I'm very sorry full stop my life has been in a business because I'm trying to find a new place to live and I've started going to the gym and missing out on a lot of sleep. I'm about to pass out which is why I'm posting this now. Again sorry for any mistakes granrma and otherwise

Inspiring Song: "girl with one eye " Florence and the machine. (Yes I know it's a sapphic song- I sing it like every day but let me have this pass to add it in)

08:09am Monday 19th August 2024, Robertson, Brisbane.

'What the hell is she thinking?'

Henry shook his head as he reached the complex exit and walked out onto the street to the waiting car.

He wanted to smirk but the frowning scowl would not drop from his face.

'If I was anyone else, God what I'd do to her-' his hand clenched the passenger side door handle hard and slammed loudly behind him. His eyes shut and his head tossed while the car swayed and rocked.

Jude, his driver and loyal friend smirked, “You must like this one...or is there a pile of meat up in that apartment that I need to fetch? I can call Riggan the pig farmer in the Lockyer Valley, anything left over he can throw in Wivenhoe dam.”

August sighed and chuckled, "She's alive and well. No sweet treat for Coles piggies...but...I need you and Wesley to look into the Pig she has been accompanying."

Jude smiled and leaned over, clicking the button of the glove box compartment. Inside was a yellow envelope. August's eyes fluttered before his face broke out into a grin.

"You are a fine friend Jude," he said as he plucked the envelope and spilled the printed notes out onto his lap, "Do you ever sleep? Jesus mate."

The raven hair man giggled and started the car to a silent hum.

As the driver put a hand behind Augusts car seat and reversed the car out onto the main roads he smugly said, "I take pride in investigating, especially bastards like him."

August's fingers flicked through the pages of graphic intel. With racing eyes he soaked up the words and photos. Lloyd Hansen...an absolute moron. His nose flared at what he was reading. He grit his teeth. Especially when he recognised a name in bold he hadn't thought about in at least half a decade.

"Well, well, well, he's got kittens for sale," August scoffed.

Jude hummed, "And meddles in the dogs pack, it would seem little Nicky is out of the jailhouse."

Both men smirked. But August was by no means pleased.

He was grumbling to himself. You were now sticking your toes into the deep end of the pool without floaties and he was worried he wouldn’t be able to catch you in time for the dunk.

Entering his club, sneaking in with the detective, he didn’t think you were dumb enough to think you’d distract him... He read through your charade the moment his eyes laid down on you from above walking in with that man.

His eyes and ears were turning red.

It was tricky but thankfully he had the means to warning that cop not to touch what belongs to him...however how close could he really get to that bastard without potential outlash. He knew he needed to order another grandeur meeting. While everyone was in town, it might be his only opportunity.

When August forced you to watch the murder of the embezzler, he had every hoping intention that it would persuade you to never talk to the cop again. A normal undercover pig would’ve stopped the show then and there, called back up.

But there was no back up...no...there was only sweet little innocent you and your pathetic phone camera. If Lloyd was after information he would’ve wired you up...Lloyd wasn’t there for him...he was there for some selfish reason...

When you ran off and pulled the alarm a dozen things went through his head. You were going to get yourself killed if you kept running. So he chased you. If the other men of his circle saw August Walker hunting, they would have been inclined to hunt you down too. And if they caught you...they would have done more than rip your head off.

He couldn’t tell you. He wasn’t sure how. You were already distrusting and scared of him there was no way he would be able to explain all the details and with your pure heart, you wouldn’t understand his world and why his side of the fence did such heinous things.

But...he would keep you safe. He wanted to gain your trust while not mistaking his authority...he knew what he had done was traumatizing.

He was no stranger to rape. Especially the european parties...those special events where he would join his friends like Kenny Strong and Arthur Kingsley ran the highlife of elite gentlemen and some lucky women born into those elite families. He wasn’t entirely fond of the practice. He didn’t like to beat women, but he did love to tie them up and humiliate them to tears.

Something about crying made his cock hard- no, something about you crying did...

He made you cry and he tried to bend you to his whims...he had already begun the conditioning where you would call him Daddy to gain his affection and praise. It pleased him significantly. He would shield you from those terrible memories even if it meant torturing you into talking about them. Externalising, confessing, it was all a form of therapy and he knew he had finally cracked the surface of your mind. He wouldn’t break you but he would chop at you and cut the mould. He would heal you. He would rebuild you and give you all the happiness you could ever want.

Sitting back and shoving those papers into the glove box he licked his bottom lip in thought.

When he woke up that morning, he watched you sneak out of the room. He smiled and amused himself. He watched the cameras from his phone. You were in his room...now that was very silly...he watched you choose his shirt and his shorts. He bit his lip to hold back a laugh. You looked so confident but so ...innocent...particular. He watched you grab a knife from the kitchen, he half heartedly believed you were coming back to stab him.

When your hands reached for the glass doors he launched up. He hadn’t warned you about Kal and he knew that dog could rip a man up, probably kill you easily if his fangs cause your wrist or neck.

He wanted to spank you and fuck you hard until you screamed mercy for trying to run away.

Rather he chose a simpler and easier punishment, one you essentially consented to the night before. Watching you suck cock was an interesting spectacle. There was a certainty you’d never done it before or not that many times before.

As you gagged on his cock with those big beautiful eyes of yours, he imagined all the things he’d buy for you...all the things he’d do for you... You might’ve been on your knees but something screamed at him to serve you as a slave.

Jude broke the silence eventually. He smirked, “So, am I right? You like this one?”

August smirked back, “’Like’ isn’t a word I’d be using.” He was fucking obsessed.

09:06am Monday 19th August 2023, Woolloongabba, Brisbane

You didn’t make a call. You couldn't. August broke your phone as you recalled.

You showered and scrubbed your face until you could feel the slight peel of your skin. It stung, but it was better than the sting you felt from the memory of his cum over you...in your mouth. You brushed your teeth for probably fifteen minutes just to erase the muscle memory of his cock brushing the back of your throat.

You changed out of August’s clothes and threw them into the bin. You couldn’t take off the collar and it made you feel suffocated. The kitchen scissors managed to scratch up the leather but the metal ring that encased inside was too strong.

You shook your head and felt nausea rise in your belly again. Without any food, all that came out was bile and acidic spit. You fell to your bedroom floor and started hitting the carpet, awful noises of grief and need bellies from you. You felt strangled. You huffed and spat random threats and insults, pretending he was there to hear them...he...August or your father? It didn’t matter.

You clenched your fist and smacked your head trying to regain your thoughts.

You kicked your dresser and rose from the floor. You found your bus pass and left the apartment, walking out in some jeans and a loose tshirt with a pair of running shoes.

The bus trip wasn’t a far trip to the police station.

You didn’t have the intention to report the kidnapping. No, no...now you were pissed off. You were scorned more than once by men around you. There was only one person you could trust in this world.

“Hi,” said the administration clerk, “How can we try an help today?” You fought the urge to roll your eyes, 'oh bitch if only you knew.'

“I’m after Detective Lloyd Hansen, is he here?”

You needed to confirm if the man was still alive. When you pulled the alarm, things were run or die in that moment. You hoped the man had the wit to run instead of confront the mafia or whatever this criminal group was.

The office was feeling slower today. It was filled with idle chatter and coffee machines grinding beans and a printer scanning documents.

“Do you have an appointment today?” she hummed, tapping at her keyboard.

You blinked and your teeth sneered.

You almost strangled that worker with the telephone cord. No. You didn’t have an appointment.

You just wanted to see he was alive. To tell him you were alive...and to collect your fifteen thousand promised reward for your “services”.

Your hands uncontrollably slapped on the desk cause the admin clerk to roll a little away in their office chair.

“I want to see the detective, now.”

“It’s alright Sandra...I can see her...” Lloyd said behind you. You flipped around. He was coming out of a small cubicle.

He looked...tired...shocked...relieved. it was all over how he looked with his loose tie, bags under his eyes and the clench of his hands on some paperwork.

He slowly stood to you and guided you away from the service desk. He whispered, “The white corolla...I’m about to finish shift.”

09:14am Monday 19th August 2024, Sunnybank, Brisbane.

You remembered his car well. The day he drove you home, you were so scared and confused. That day you’d reported that August may have sexually assaulted you...that day he definitely did...

This time you weren’t waiting in the cold for Lloyd, the sun was hot and beating down.

He came jogging down the front stairs of the station and hastily unlocked the car.

You wordlessly slipped in and buckled up.

When he got in he slammed his door a little too hard. He pressed his face to the top of his wheel and swore softly.

“I thought,” he swallowed nervously and sat up to look you up and down, “I thought he really had killed you. I tried calling thirty fuckin times these last two days. What happened? Were you hiding?”

Two days....god...you had been gone, missing, for that long?! Missing Friday...return Sunday.

You shook your head, “I was the one who pulled the alarm Lloyd...he knew what we were doing...he was going to kill you. When I made a run for it like everyone else in the club, he managed to track me down...he...” you trailed off unsure if you wanted to repeat the actions, the words, the confession.

Licking your lips you said, “August Walker is a dead man walking...and...” your stomach started to growl, “I’m starved, and I’m sorry to be bitchy but you...you at least owe me a meal Lloyd.”

Two days...you had only a few pieces of chicken in two days. No wonder you felt like total crap.

Lloyd didn’t argue. He took you straight away to the closest fast food drive thru. You ordered so much and Lloyd didn’t dispute a single item. He settled for a simple burger, fries and larger soft drink.

Lloyd drove you both to the kangaroo point lookout, it wasn't too far from where you already live. You stared out at the city buildings and Brisbane River with a strained sigh.

You chewed silently on a nugget for a moment before you explained what happened. How you were caught, how you almost got away...

“Jesus,” Lloyd rubbed his eyes and sighed, “I...I think I...I’m sorry I took you for granted Y/N. When I left the building I search everywhere for you. I thought...well- I didn’t know what to think.”

You munched on a handful of fries, you didn’t care if you looked like a pig as you did it. Stuffing your cheeks full of a burger and then a massive gulp of an extra large drink. You swallowed and thrived off the heart burn aching in your chest, reminding you you’ve eaten too quickly.

You burped and then softly moaned, “I need to feel safe.”

“You need to move...Y/N please,” The begging in his tone was loud and clear. There was serious fear in Lloyd.

You wouldn’t submit to August Walker and you refused to run from him. You were now met with the choice...you were either going to destroy his reputation or literally destroy him....your blood pumped loudly. He made you talk about your father....your fucking father...and on top of that, he made you call him daddy.

What mind fucked you was how you were yet again able to walk away...not unscathed but definitely alive.

“No,” you dismissed unwrapping your second burger, “He will find me...I know he will...and even if he kept me alive both times, a third is pushing my lucky, I know you understand that.”

Lloyd shook his head at you and put his hand over your burger, stopping your next starved bite, he hissed “You think staying where you are is safer? You don’t know-“

“Lloyd!” You snapped, you slapped his hand back and shoved your pointer finger into your chest, you sucked down a shakey breath, “...I know...I do know. I need to protect myself when he strikes again...it’s worse now...I have too much collateral... He let me witness that murder in the club.”

The detective raised his brows at you, “You mean...” the blood drained from his face.

“Cameras were in the VIP rooms Lloyd,” you grit your teeth and glared at the view of the city buildings, “I saw a lot more than just a fucking man’s brains being blown out from his skull, hookers, coke... Auctions...he’s got it all in The Lion Lounge.”

The detective rest his fingers on his top lip. He was slowly nodding.

You sucked down a long drag of your straw and gasped, asking in the same breath, “Lloyd I want a gun. I won’t let him rape me again.”

You needed the protection from August or any man he sent to kill you.

Lloyd chewed his bottom lip and shook his head.

“Do you have a gun license?”

“Do I look like I have one?” you snipped. You knew it wasn’t fair on him for your attitude but you didn’t have the time to focus on his hurt feelings in regards to your mental health and physical safety.

“Have you ever even shot one?”

“Nope. But it only takes one shot to kill him close up.” You threw the wrapper out of his car window and rubbed your face.

If he didn’t come near you, he would be safe, and you could just work on collecting evidence for the courts.

The detective sucked his bottom lip and shook his head, “It’s too dangerous.”

“Oh piss off!” You stomped your foot and twisted your body to face him, you grabbed his loose tie and tugged it as you seethed, “Lloyd, you practically thrust me into his arms and you have the gall to say now, me owning a gun is ‘too dangerous’?”

He gently grabbed your wrist and pulled his tie out of your fingers as he shook his head at you. His nose flared and he started to raise his voice at you, spit flying from his mouth as he hit the wheel with the palm of his hand. You expected a detective to hold a little more composure.

“Fine. Fine! But are you really willing to go to prison for life if you do manage to kill him? Think about this logically.”

His eyes were wide and his brows twisted with worry.

You fell quiet. You wanted to say yes. You wanted to stamp your foot again and scream that you’d spend two lifetimes behind bars if it meant his demise...except...was your demise worth the cost of his? Would you drown with him in the end of all of this if you killed him.

You noisily sucked at your straw.

“No...” you whispered, you didn’t want to cry in front of Lloyd but your tears were coming up, beading in the dips of your lids.

“No, that’s right,” Lloyd rubbed your shoulder with his thumb, “He isn’t worth it.”

Your lip pouted, “Why can’t you just...arrest him.”

He sighed and rubbed your back as you started to break down into pathetic frustrated sobs.

“Lawyers, laws and money,” he whispered and fluttered his eyes shut, “He has his ways. The only way we can take him down is if he is caught doing the hefty, big crimes. If I could’ve gotten the proof of the weapon dealers he would’ve been considered accomplice to the crime.”

“S-so if...if you..” you wiped you snotty nose on the back of your arm, “If he was caught on camera...he’d be sent to prison?” You started to laugh mechanically, “What if...what if I let him rape me. A nanny cam on my night stand or something?”

The office shook his head for the dozenth time, “By the law that wouldn’t be considered rape...only a messed up porno, especially if they see you set up the camera.”

Your fingers aggressively clenched another handful of fries, you didn’t eat them, you just threw them back into the bag.

“...I...what do I do Lloyd?” A fear of hopelessness tapped your brain.

He was quiet for a solid minute. He stared at you all over. You knew the bruise on your face was visible. He kept looking at your cheek instead of your eyes. And his gaze fell down to your neck. “It’s a collar Lloyd...he chained me to a bed for two days...”

His lips parted and with a impatient voice he asked, “Do you have a gym membership?”

“No? Why?”

He started his car and made you put your seat belt back on, “Okay, I don’t care, you’re getting one, right now."

Your eyes shrunk, “Why?”

Lloyd gruffly snarled, “Because I’m going to teach you how to fight.”

He would teach you at least some self defence. August might’ve been twice your size but if you could get the chance to get away...Lloyd would make sure you would take it..

05:30pm Monday 19th August 2024, East Brisbane Anytime Fitness Gym, Brisbane.

“Again.”

Your back hit the padded wall, your knees hit the floor as you cupped your middle and tried not to puke up the fast food from earlier.

“We have been at this for three hours!” You groaned, trying to use the foam wall to stand up again.

You were convinced Lloyd liked to beat you around, the red marks and bruises that were rising were the evidence.

“Until you can take me down,” Lloyd nudged you with his hand causing you to almost fall back down, “We aren’t leaving.”

You hissed angrily and stood up tall “Fuck sake.”

You held up your arms like he showed you. He started throwing his blows, you blocked him with your forearms and ducked away from his large swipes. He kicked your ankle and watched you crumble to the ground again.

“Watch your feet.” He scolded, “You are smaller and surprisingly speedy, use that to your advantage!”

You rolled your eyes and bit your lip. Getting to your feet you pushed up and launched your body at Lloyd who was checking out one of the yoga classes in the other room window.

He crashed to the floor. Your knees straddled his hips as you huffed with glee, “Ha! Home time!” your palms rested on his naked sweaty chest.

He chuckled and shook his head. He pushed you up by your hips. He shut his eyes, panting, “Again...then home time.”

You grumpily groaned, “Fine!” your ribs hurt bad and your knees felt swollen.

It was agreed by you both that if you needed to reach out you needed to use a burner phone or a payphone. Any calls or emails were going to be noticed.

When you felt the spray of the hot shower water at home, you cried. It felt good. You touched the collar still around your throat. Training to protect yourself reminded you the pain was worth it.

10:16am Wednesday 21st August 2024, Brisbane CBD

“Mr Luther, I’m so sorry for not calling in sick,” You wrung your hands in front of your boss, “Please forgive me for the unwarned absence.”

“Please!” He laughed heartedly, “I just assumed you were clicking some more photos!” He stood out from his chair and sat on his desk above you, “Did you hear about Walkers club almost burning down?”

Looking down at your lap, you reminded yourself that Mister John Luther was not a man included in the circle of trust. Nor were you convinced he understood the severity of the crimes the criminals he wanted to chase for gossiping stories committed. Your hand touched the ends of the scarf you wore, covering up the hideous black leather around your neck. You tried all morning to cut it off with a pair of scissors but you came to feel the metal circlet inside and gave up. There was a hole in one of the bottom cabinets where you had kicked in a hole...that was okay, you had an extra fifteen thousand pounds in your bank account.

You assumed Lloyd finally sent the money through.

“Did it?” you coyly asked.

“No clue how damaged the place was but the massive party was cancelled. The fire engines went zooming down this street Friday night.”

“What happens now then?” You glanced up at him and chewed the inside of your cheek, “With the smuggling case?”

“Put on hold for now,” he sighed and squeezed your shoulders, “I don’t have any sources about the next possible meet and greet. I was hoping you could keep the same production rolling. I have a new project involving a Nicholas Tortano. I want to get an interview with him.”

You didn’t recognise the name at all. Your fingers pinched at your long sleeve shirt. “An interview?”

Luther nodded, he winked and went back to his desk draw, slapping out a manilla folder.

He rubbed and clapped his hands, pushing and opening the new case to you.

“He has a history of his employed persons going missing. He has criminal history ties with Irish gangs and the italian mafia. I have a page of questions, I would like someone to ask him.”

You cleared your throat, “Me?”

Wagging his finger the elder man laughed, “No one has quite the balls as you deary...”

It sounded...Too dangerous.

“In that case,” you shuffled forward in your chair, “Can I be paid upfront for this job?”

You would not die at the hands of one gangster when you had your eyes set on another. Luther almost looked like he was going to tell you to get the fuck out of his office until he looked at your photos of August you’d taken. He was quickly reminded you had the best skills and to lose you would be suicide for his paper... You were the best thing to have happened to him. He accepted.

You sat in your work cubicle and aggressively jabbed at the key pad of your work phone. It’s not hard to find phone numbers. Nicholas Tortano had a nickname, “The Black Dog.” He was caught by paparazzi coming out of court a few times. His business empire related to charities. He was a philanthropist with a dirty history of crime connections. He had only been found guilty of third degree murder but many news articles in the past twenty years all labelled him as a omen of death, because anyone that had done him wrong was found dead not too long after...

You found the phone number and took a lucky gulp. There wasn’t an address for any business so if no one picked up, you were worried Idris might fire you for that mere disappointment alone.

The phone rung out once. You dialled again, the receiver picked up. You held your breath.

“Hello, Tortano and associates, who is calling?” the masculine tone soothed out.

“Hello, my name is Y/N Y/L/N, I’m a journalist from the local paper. Is there a chance I may be able to book an interview with Nicholas Tortano?”

There was a steady silence and a soft hum, “What does this pertain to?”

You rubbed your eyes and looked over the notes Luther had given you in the folder, “....People think he is ‘a mass murdering psycho with a thirst for crime’, I’m hoping to ask him some questions to seek the truth.”

“How ludicrous,” the man chuckled, “I am a gentleman. A businessman. Not a criminal.”

You strained over the phone as you spoke to the secretary, “I am sure but this is in regards to Mister Tortano.”

The phone went quite again, you thought maybe you’d lost the connection.

The sweet condescending waved through the sound, “I am he...are you free today for lunch?”

With widened eyes your voice caught in your throat. You felt like an idiot...you never imagined he would answer the call to his own company. CEOs never answer the call of a civilian first hand...

You cleared your throat and nervously clicked a pen, “I am, where would you like to conduct this meeting.”

You could hear him click something too. He sounded warm, and inviting on the phone, “Do you like Italian? Have you ever heard of Vapianos?”

A tiny smile touched your lips. When was the last time you were asked out to lunch? Your eyes rolled, for fuck sake, this was a job...not a date.

“I don’t mind it.”

11:54pm Wednesday 21st August 2024, Brisbane CBD, Vapianos.

Nick Tortano had invited you to a side of town with skyrise buildings. The Vapianos restaurant was on the bottom floor of some massive buildings.

You wrapped your scarf around your neck again. The leather was tight around your throat. It was like he was there with you...holding you...as you cried over a father that you loved and hated.

You shook your head and looked down at the notebook and piece of paper you were given by Luther.

You looked around at the tables and the waiters. The place was sparkling with a quality of...the wealthy and corporate. The palm leaves, the tinted glass windows that raced from floor to ceiling, the champagne glasses on a nearby table. It was all glorious decoration.

All the people there were beautiful...not a single appearance that resembled you...a pauper.

The awkward steps you took towards the receptionist resembled a weak lamb. You felt stupid for being there.

The server looked you up and down and it caused a sting to any confidence you had left. You touched your scarf.

“Hello, I’m looking for a Mister Tortano we have a meet-”

A hand glided across your back, you jumped a little and became confronted with a pair of dark brown orbs and handsome white teeth, “Hello, Miss Y/N.”

Nicholas...he was tall and wearing a simple sweater. Despite his causality he held an air of regality. Not to be overly romantic but you felt he would be a stunning prince if he was a royal member.

“I hope you don’t mind but I’ve had them set a table already.”

He held out an arm to you.

“Not at all,” You flushed and happily accepted it. You tucked it around and let him lead you carefully to a table. There was a set of plates and two wine glasses.

“Just give me a second or two to set up, is it alright if I tape your voice?” you asked reaching into your handbag.

He pulled out a chair for you and explained, “I would prefer no tapes, but I’m not adverse to photography.”

It wasn’t an unusual request. Lots of people didn’t like the sound of their voice. He must’ve been one of them.

It didn’t matter, photos were more your talents anyway.

“In that case, may I take the photos first and then perform the interview?”

He nodded and flashed a bigger beautiful smile.

“Where would you like me?”

You pulled out a office camera from your bag, you didn’t have time to go home and grab one of your ten others. You started to turn it on.

“If you could look away from the lens, relax your shoulders, lean back and look like you’re thinking. No smiling.”

“Do I look ugly with a smile?” he cheekily asked.

You couldn’t help but smile. He was charming and flirtatious and incredibly handsome.

“Terribly,” you teased, “No, my boss would just prefer a little more seriousness I believe. To make the page appear professional...plus the topic regarding the article with a smiling photo you’d look like a madman.”

He nodded promisingly and fell into the pose. When he heard the camera clicked a small smirk pulled at his lips before quickly trying to compose his face.

When the photos were finished you stuffed the camera back in your bag. He relaxed from his falsified stern appearance.

Now came the interview. You pulled out the sheet of questions Idris provided. Under no circumstances were you meant to ask anything but these....except....the questions....well...they were...

“So, you...ugh...hold on a moment....”

How many people have you killed?

What is currently the cheapest drug you can achieve from your circle?

Are you a homosexual?

What the fuck?! You weren’t even sure if you were legally allowed to ask these questions due to discrimination laws.

“Um...I...”

He smiled at you from across the table. You felt a pearl of sweat forming on your forehead.

“Stage fright?” Nick asked softly, tilting his head. He snapped his finger and a waiter came over and poured water into two cups. A basket of breadsticks were placed in the centre.

“No, well...yes...um. the questions I’m meant to ask you I stupidly didn’t read before coming here...” your cheeks felt warm. The embarrassment rose fast.

“So they’re not your questions?” his eyebrows lifted. His finger traced the lip of his glass.

“They’re my boss’s but I said I would ask them.”

Nicholas' lips parted back into a smile, “Enlighten me, I will be less offended knowing they’re not from you.”

You smoothed the paper out on the table and pulled out a notepad, clicking a pen after finding the least offensive one you licked your bottom lip and stuttered, “How...how would you describe yourself?”

He sighed and held the cup to his lips, “Vain, rich with a dominating grace.”

Those weren’t usual qualities someone described themselves as, usually people preferred to remain humble and soften their reality. It was an interesting new perception to attach to Nicholas Tortano the criminal who covered his wrong doings with funding medicine for sick children.

You noted it and looked at the page again to try and find another less offensive question. Frantically your finger scrolled down all the words. Your heart started to pick up. These were so ridiculous and disgusting. Right I go the jaws of the black dog- that’s what Luther had done to you.

You shyly laughed, “hmm, I...let me...-”

Nick slapped the cup back on the table. His smile had fallen, “Politely, Miss Y/N I don’t like my time to be wasted...how about you hand me that piece of parchment.”

He reached over with lightning speed. He pinch the paper and dragged it to him.

“Hey!-”

“Now now, here’s what we will do,” he peaked up at you and licked his bottom lip, “I’ll answer these questions and so will you.”

You lifted your chin and looked at him cautiously.

“But they’re not for me.”

“That doesn’t matter, I can see you’re nervous darling...so...let’s break tension.”

He trailed his thumb down the page and sighed, “Let’s see...ah yes I see how these would make you less inviting to involve yourself.”

After a moment he glanced and smirked at the questions, god you could throttle Luther right now for letting you go through this stupid interview.

“How many years did it take you to be where you are now as one of the most notorious crimelords?”

You tried to put on your best smile, “...yesterday...I stole this scarf...” you lied.

“Why Miss Y/N you must be a terrible influence!” He feigned a gasp of horror which made you lightly giggle, “I don’t label myself as a crime lord. As over the phone I stated simply, I’m a business man...my business so happens to involve crime. I’ve been in this business since I was thirteen years old. My first offence was Car theft. That was almost twenty years ago.”

Your throat shut. He was in his forties!? The damn bastard had the option of early 30s or maybe 20s if he shaved off his stubble entirely.

He looked between your face and your hands, “Are you going to write that down or do I have to do that too?”

You blinked and jumped with a start of noting down the new information, “Oh yes! Sorry!” Scribbling quickly you watched him, watching you...he was staring...like you were...something unusual.

“How many sentences have you been charged with?”

You shrugged unsure why you felt ashamed to say, “None.”

The pen in your hand twirled as the handsome gentleman scratched his nose, “Too many...in all up it has kept me behind bars for nine years total but I’ve been in and out for years. I only returned to the public eye a month ago.”

“Woah,” you whispered.

Nine years? A month? You didn’t have a lot of time to research him considering the call for lunch was so quick and speedy.

His fingers tapped the table softly. He shrugged, “Its not as bad as tellie makes it out to be...in fact it’s a way to network well. You can learn lots of new tricks when you’re forced into tight confinement.”

You started to take dot points. It’s interesting...being in prison for nine years...not all together but all total. Making connections and friends inside prison didn’t really click at first. You always assumed prison was a scary and lonely cell where you had to pee in front of everyone.

Nick looked back at the page and laughed, he rubbed his mouth and shook his head, “Are you a homosexual?”

You also laughed but it was more a awkward shyness, “No, I think I’m bisexual if anything but strictly gay I’m not. I can’t understand why that question would be even asked, I’m so sorry.” You grit your teeth and looked away.

He tilted his hand and shrugged, “It’s vicious rumour that I’m a pillow biter...I am not a homosexual.”

Its all he said. And that was something you really didn’t like writing down...it was so unnecessary.

“What is currently the cheapest drug you can achieve from your circle? Miss Y/N don’t tell me you sell drugs?” he giggled and folded the paper back a little.

'Jesus Christ'Luther!!!...you really wanted me to ask that!?' Your fists clenched under the table.

You dismissed it and grinned, “No, I do not. Sorry to be so boring....you?”

“Paracetamol,” he answered, “I can sell you some right now, I like to keep some nearby.”

Anyone could sell paracetamol...he deliberately said that, you knew.

“After the interview I think I might just,” you laughed and rubbed a little at your temple.

“How many people have you killed?”

You gasped. Your chest was like a loud metal band concert with your heart as the instrument racked, you didn’t understand how that was possible.

“None.” Well...your father....maybe...Nick didn’t need to know about that.

The philanthropic crime lord aka ‘businessman’ remained totally silent. Your hand paused.

“Are you not going to answer the question?...”

He put the paper down and plucked the menu, he unfolded the cardboard covered in matte black and gold designs, he looked down at the wine selection, “I think you might need to do something for me to answer that.”

“What?” you wanted to say you’d do it. But why would you promise anything to a man with his bad record.

“I’d need you to kill someone. And you don’t strike me as a murderer Miss Y/N.” His dark gaze flickered up at you, “Now...what would you like to eat?”

You bit your lip. He’s definitely killed before, or else he would’ve just said no. He wanted to you to know he was a murderer...you knew because his eyes remained perfectly still as he said it. No tremble or lying shame in those pupils.

You sat forward and drank a bit of your water.

Perhaps meeting Nick wasn’t just a benefit for the paper gossip. Maybe he could help you...you heard his voice ask you another question, probably about the menu, you do not remember...instead your thoughts tumbled out of your lips.

“....do you sell weapons Mister Tortano?”

The question caught him off guard. They weren’t on the paper your boss provided.

“Weapons?” he asked cautiously.

Shit, you had gone too far now to recall your thoughts, “Would you sell a gun to a woman even if she doesn’t have a license?”

His eyes sparkled.

“Whatever would you want a gun for Miss Y/N?” he leant back in his chair and pressed his fingers to his lips.

You tried to explain, but it was hard. You looked over your shoulder. It was too public to be discussing this. You whispered, “... There’s a rat who won’t leave me alone. I’d like to scare him...”

His eyes narrowed a little at your speech. He knew you weren’t being literal, so he replied coolly, “Are you asking for a gun or pest control?”

You whispered again, “A gun.”

He fluttered, you could tell he was staring down your shit to check for a wire.and clapped his hands loudly. The entire restaurant went from idle chatter and laughter to utter silence...it was eery...like a dream or a nightmare.

Nick shouted at the top of his lungs, echoing off the walls, “Leave us!”

The entire assembly of guests started to rise from their chairs. They packed up their brief cases and hand bags. Abandoning the half eaten food and untouched wine and champagne. Your nose wrinkled. What the fuck... they were all heading to the stair well, ignoring the elevators.

You looked back at Nicholas, confused, wondering if he meant you to leave too...you pinched the table cloth worryingly.

“Have you thought it through?” Nick asked now that the restaurant was empty, and quiet.

“What?” you didn’t understand. The entire perception of Nick Tortano was collapsing. He was so powerful...all those people were his. All of them under his thumb...all of them so obedient...

“Do you intend on threatening or killing?”

You felt trapped by his words.

“That’s my business Mister Tortano, politely speaking...” how could you confess to your intentions.

It was bad enough that he knew you wanted a gun.

You wondered if there was any chance you you make a run to the doors and run away. You were stepping from one scary man to another at this point.

After a while of sitting ashamed in silence, he stood up from his chair. His fingers lazily brushed the table, until he paused in front of you. He dragged his hand under your chin. He made you look at him, standing above you. His hand violently tore off your scarf and he tutted, “Is he the one who put the collar on you? The man to cover you in bruises? Might need a better foundation darling...I’m not stupid. I’d like to know if it’s going to reflect back on me. What’s the chaps name?”

You didn’t like how personally close he was standing above you. You felt small and trembled beneath his pinning dark brown eyes...they were practically black like some soulless shark. His white teeth looked starved.

You lied again, “...Lloyd...Ha-Han-Hansen...” perhaps Lloyd could handle Nick? But how? He couldn’t handle August. You regretted saying his name but that was it...you threw the only friend you had under the bus.

“Hmmm can’t say I know him well...”

“He’s um...a lawyer,” you lied again.

He smirked and whispered, “Is he?” his eyes narrowed with a glint of mischief.

He flipped his cardigan sweater up, on his hip, inside tucked in his jeans was a scary black gun... A hand gun.

“Well I do hope you get what you want out of him,” he pulled out the gun and set it on the table in front of you, “Here, consider it a gift...I find your disposition incredibly pleasing...”

You glanced at the gun and felt a rush of something...adrenaline? Anxiety? Arousal? Something became alive...

“I need to go. I’m so sorry,” you rushed to stand up, you pinched the weapon and carefully tucked it into your hand bag, “I need to leave.”

This was too easy. Far too coincidental. Maybe this was your father's spirit watching over you?

“Until we meet again,” he chuckled and stood aside. You could hear his wickedly laughter as you fled to the doors. As the doors closed behind you, you could see in the distance, Nick standing by the windows smelling your scarf deeply. Your hand touched your throst and felt the jagged material. You weren't sure if you wanted to go back for the scarf. Watching him press his face into the soft material- the action was perverse...he was perverse...just like August. A mighty shiver rolled up your spine. You didn’t have time to worry about that.

You were filled with all the raw emotions of the last month. Anger, grief, revenge....

You now had a gun... The power to wield death easily. Now you just needed your chance.

You kept hearing Lloyd in the back of your mind...would killing August be worth your own life?

Especially life in prison.

You shoved it back and focused on the pain you felt, the agony as you cried in his lap under threats of his spanking. He wiped you when you used the toilet...he called you puppy...he forced you to cum and cry....he made you beg and suck his cock just to hold you...he treated you as a subhuman.

02:06pm Wednesday 21st August 2024, Woolloongabba, Brisbane

You opened your front door, slamming it behind you. And as you started to slide the bolts and chains, you heard something down the hallway...a small crash? No? A grunt...

Angry eyes and a sneer grew on your face. You marched down, your father’s door was wide open.

And there the fucker was. August... Folding clothes into your father’s bed from a washing basket.

You saw red.

“Wh-what the fuck...get out!”

He lifted his head and finished folding a pair of your jeans, your head leaned back to your bedrooms opened door before you looked back at him inside your father's room.

“Your home is a mess,” He said nonchalantly, “I won’t have you stomping around in squalor.”

He had gone into your room and cleaned it. And on any given day, that would’ve earned a man a blowjob, not him though, no...he was in your space and invading your life too much.

With a flared nostril you snarled, “I am giving you five seconds to leave. Or I'll-”

He snickered at your defiant demand, “Or what? You’re going to call the cops?”

You didn’t want to kill him here...You dug into your hand bag and it felt impossibly slow and heavy in your hand. You pointer the gun at his head and fought the trembling in your body and your voice, “Or you’re going to choke on your own blood August.”

His eyes widened, he didn’t expect your display. He paused and continued to fold the laundry. You didn’t like being ignored and moved inside of your father’s room. It wouldn’t be the first time a man died in this room.

“You’re not going to shoot me,” He said without a single hint of fear.

You held the gun now in both hands. You stood strong and came closer around the bed.

You scoffed, “No, of course not, you manipulate me, drug me, hit me, and raped me but 'oh nooooo I won’t shoot you'?”

He smiled and shook his head slowly. He appeared so unafraid and that caused a spit of hate to hit your face. You wanted him to be on his knees, begging for his life, pleading for forgiveness while he pissed himself. This was not at all what you imagined, him folding the washing and sorting to find pairs of socks.

“One,” You said.

He sighed and threw your underwear back into the basket. He started to walk around the bed gradually.

You screeched, “Two, stay the fuck away from me!”

He stopped and raised his hands. Slowly he perched himself on the corner of your dad’s bed.

“Three,” you said a little shakily. He still didn’t flinch. You felt suffocated. Why wasn’t he scared?

You pissed in his lap when he pointed one at you in the club. This wasn’t fair.

Tears uncontrollably started to fall from your eyes. You didn’t want to kill him...god you hated him...but if he wasn’t going to beg you, you didn’t want to kill him. Especially in this room...besides ...what would you do with his body?

“F-four, don’t make me do this August!”

You moved closer and closer until the tip of the metal weapon pressed into his forehead.

It was now or never...“Pl-please, don’t...” you begged, hoping he would walk out of the room and apartment. You squeezed your eyes shut.

You pulled the trigger and screamed as you did it. The trigger didn’t move...it felt stuck. You pulled it again and nothing happened. You opened your eyes and noted how the gun hadn’t gone off and August was still happily breathing with a dark, sadistic grin on his moustached lips.

“Five...” he hummed and wrapped his palm around the barrel, pulling it up and tugging it away from your trembling hands, “your safety is still on, and...” He clicked off the top and sighed, “It’s not even loaded.”

You crashed to your knees and vomited right over his leather shoes. You weren’t prepared for the rush of exhaustion to hit you. Your body shook. Your fingers clenched the soaked carpet. The metal of the unloaded gun lifted your chin up. Tears ran down your cheeks beautifully.

“Tell me, did the piggy give this to you?”

Your swollen lips blubbered, “No!” Lloyd didn’t need any more wicked men following him around.

You shut your eyes and sniffled. Surely August would kill you. This must’ve been some sort of a strike three, yes?

“Then where did you get your paws on one of these?...” he bit his smile lip.

“A friend...” it wasn’t a total lie. Nick liked you, you somewhat found him intriguing. Yes you’d only met that day...but he was a friend now for a moment in your mind.

August pulled you up into his lap by your hair. Hot lips pressed into your neck and nuzzling your ratty leather collar, “You were really going to kill me...weren’t you?” he cooed as you started to sniffle and choke on your tears, “You pulled that trigger. I underestimated you sweetness...don’t worry. I won’t punish you for that.”

He cupped the back of your head, pulling you in for a big kiss. His lips soft, but his hand tight and filled with dominance.

You felt light. He was kissing you just after you vomited. Gross.

He pulled away and spat at the floor, he chuckled and pressed his nose against yours.

“In fact...I got you a gift.”

You whined and fluttered your eyes, “I don’t want a gift from you.”

You weren’t mentally prepared for any sick sexual torture he had in store for you. You could see his jaw shift and his eyes dash back and forth.

“Are you sure? I think you’ll like it.”

Your hands touched the collar hopefully. Maybe it was the key?

He slid his hands under your armpits. You heard your bag hit the dry side of the floor.

He lifted you with ease to your feet and pressed a hand at the small of your back, pushing you to the bathroom.

He was so huge compared to you. The lower ceiling made you have a flash of worry...what if he hit his head?

He was fine.

He turned on the shower and peeled away your clothes. He wasn’t rough, and he wasn’t leering...he was soft...and patient. He pushed your long sleeved shirt up and gasped at the sight of bruises Lloyd created from the gym. His thumb unkindly pressed into one. You whined and tried to step away but your ass pressed into the vanity sink.

He knew he hadn’t given you these.

“And who has my puppy been playing rough with? Don’t tell me you’ve spread your legs for someone else now...”

He turned you around slowly, inspecting the marks he had not made on your skin. His hands palmed over your flesh.

The steam from the shower began to whaf out. You tried to not imagine the water bill ticking up.

He pinched your bra off and watched your arms circle to cover your chest.

He turned you back to face him. Unbuttoning your jeans, he tugged them down and helped take off your shoes. He pressed his lips to a bruise on your outer thigh. The temptation to throw your knee into his throat was great.

His hand cupped the back of your knee. His nose was so close to your underwear covered pussy, you could feel his hot breath tickling your clit.

Your panties were gradually pulled down to your ankle and you used his shoulder for balance as you stood out of the flimsy material.

He stood back and opened the shower door for you. He left the bathroom door open and you didn’t want to risk a punishment for locking him out. He took your clothes to the laundry and heard him open your cleaning supply closet where you kept a mop and broom and vacuum cleaner.

As you soaped your body, the suds building along your skin and back you sighed. The collar rubbed against your neck. It was a reminder...

He was powerful. He was scary and you were risking death. You had just tried to kill him...at any moment he could bash your head in until your skull caved, no one would find you for days...maybe weeks...he said he wouldn’t kill you but that was before you pulled a gun on him.

You were angry at yourself...angry at Ben....why would the gun be empty?! Couldn’t Nick have told you that? Maybe he assumed you knew how to handle one...

August came back into the bathroom after ten minutes of cleaning. You didn’t dare to leave the shower in that time.

He was back. And now...he was naked. You uncontrollably worried and pressed your back into the bathroom tile. He stood into the shower, stealing the hot spray when it hit his back.

He was so hairy, and huge. He was like a bear.

You gulped and glanced at his dick. He was flaccid but you knew he could fuck you with a soft dick or just his hands alone.

He held out his hand and whispered, “The soap, please.”

Your hand shook as you shakily handed over the small white bar. It was the cheapest shit on the shelves you could find.

Now you regretted not spending the money you saw in your bank account. You would die feeling poor.

You tried to cover your nakedness. A hand between your thighs. You felt the bareness and cringed your face. He would’ve waxed you again or shaved while you were ‘in his care’ after the club incident.

The huge man started to rub the soap along his thighs and his arms and chest.

He smelt of your vomit...he cleaned it up for you...his clothes...you could hear the laundry machine.

He either was cleaning evidence or he was staying the night.

His face...was soft. He wasn’t angry...he was deep in thought... He was pleased. The faintest of smiles was on his furry face.

When he was finished. He touched your waist and pressed you to turn around him in the cubicle. Now the hot water covered your shivering skin. He rubbed some more soap into his hands and rubbed the bubbled into your skin. Along the back of your neck he rubbed and pinched. A tiny moan imminently slipped from your lips. You hoped he hadn’t heard it.

He did...

You knew he was gliding his hands down to your bottom and rubbing the darkened skin he planted when he spanked you. You hissed and softly swore as his thumb pressed in. A small threat, a warning? A reminder...

He touched you everywhere except your tits and your cunt...which shocked you as you braced from his hands every time they drew near those areas. The sense of denial played in your mind.

Your body felt warm...humming as it was teased.

He did touch the leather around your neck and tutted at the parts you damaged with scissors, where the metal you couldn’t cut poked out.

Turning the shower off, August opened the door again and guided you out onto the soft floor mat. He took a towel from the vanity draw and wrapped it over your shoulders like you were some kid at the beach.

He wrapped a towel around his waist. His body dripping and soaking into the edge.

You were poked out of the room and made to go into your room. Your dad’s door was still open however and that made you uncomfortable.

On your bed...was a box....

The gift...was an actual gift!? It was wrapped in white and gold paper with a pink tulle ribbon around it.

You shifted your towel around to wrap yourself in and looked between the man leaning on the doorway and the wrapped box on your bed.

He nodded to it. Open it. A silent command.

Your curled your lips into your mouth as you pulled the tulle ribbon away and scratched the paper back.

A deep gasp left your chest, “A phone?...”

It was one of the newest if the models you used. This type of phone usually cost three thousand dollars!

Behind you the awful man laughed softly, “For stepping on the one from the club.”

The tiny smile that was coming to your lips, disappeared. If he hadn’t reminded you of that night, you might’ve kept smiling. Your fist clenched. You were angry. Did he know how scared you were as you ran in the dark? Did he know you hated him even more because of this gift. This wasn’t a gift, this was a bribe...

Your jaw ticked and you turned on your heel, you held your towel tightly, “I am not saying thankyou.”

He chuckled at that and nodded, he tilted his head to the side and wagged a finger at you, “I swear every time I see you, you become twice as fiery.”

When he stood forward you got scared and tripped back and fell onto your bed. The phone box slid to the floor. Your heart raced. You noted how you accidentally flashed him as the towel fell from your hands.

He paused, not moving any further. He could see how frightened you were. And if you didn’t know any better...he didn’t want to scare you today.

His smile fell and he sighed, “Before I forget...your sex toy arrived.”

You crept off your bed as he left the door way. He was quickly back before you could make an escape.

He held a box and threw it to you. Without thought you let go of your towel and caught the box with the erotic images and product on it.

Stark nude and wet you stood. You turned away from him and put the box with your newly bought toy on the bed. You put your phone box beside it.

He was watching you with bird eyes as you tried to pick up the towel and cover yourself again.

“So let me see,” he hummed, he crossed his arms over his chest and clicked his tongue, “First you threaten to kill me,” he pushed away from the door, “You then attempt to actually kill me,” and he shakes his head chuckling, “and now I find out my cock isn’t enough to satisfy? Good heavens...have I neglected my greedy little puppy?”

Your hands lifted... Your towel was loose but you had tucked it to your body. You prepared your fighting stance like how Lloyd showed you.

“Get out...” you spat.

“No,” he smirked, “I will not.” He launched forward.

He grabbed your towel and you slipped from the material. You ran around his body, ripping his towel off as you ran out.

You slipped on water droplets in the hall and slid down the hall to the kitchen.

As he came around the corner, you flung a cupboard door open hard that smacked his hard in the face. You smiled hearing his painful groan.

"Fuck!"

He pushed it back and tried to grab you as you ran around the mini island. You threw his towel at his face as you made a rush back to your room. You managed to lock a chain and bolt on the bedroom door. You panicked and climbed under your pathetic single bed. You heard him behind the wood.

“Open up little puppy...or I’m gonna huff...” he said, “and then I’ll puff...”

When you made no sign of opening the door and remaining beneath the bedframe. The door burst open. The locks tore through the metal nook. He walked through. He nakedly crouched by the side of the bed and sighed at you curled up under your bed. He shook his head and softly smiled. He laid flat on the floor beside you.

“Watcha doin down there sweetness?”

You felt a breath escape you. A soft laugh. Was he fucking serious?!

“Hiding,” you mumbled into your wrists.

He fluttered his eyes shut. His hand rested on his Bare stomach.

“Well I found you, so you might as well come out. You’re black and blue. I don’t want to drag you over the carpet, don’t want rip up your knees pup.”

You couldn’t understand why he kept calling you that. You weren’t a puppy...you...you were human and you still weren’t sure how that pet name even fit you .

You knew he was right though, there was only way out and it didn’t matter. You would need to face him. If he wanted to kill you, nothing could’ve stopped him from strangling your throat. After a minute or two you finally gave in... Wiggling your butt from under the bed. He moved up to his knees. He watched you stick your head out and shimmy to the open air.

You knew trying to run out the door was useless and there was no other locks other than the front door. You rubbed your lips, staring at the broken locks and the door that hung off only one hinge...you really hated him...

His large soft hand rubbed your cheek and the back of your neck, cupping you closer to his body.

Both in your knees, he pulled you into his chest.

You pleaded softly, “Please...”

“Kiss me puppy,” he begged and looked down at your lips. You glanced to his eyes and shut yours as your pushed your face up.

He was gentle. His tongue poked Into your mouth and your lips closed. He kissed you and sucked on your bottom lip loudly. God it felt good. It felt hot and inviting. This kiss was like a deep hot bath or a cosy blanket. His hands squeezed your arms and cocooned you closer to his damp skin. You just wanted to wrap yourself in his body and sleep...except your body felt attacked by an invisible electricity, like a dozen bees rumbling down from your chest to the folds between your thighs.

Your could barely breathe.

When he pulled back he shuddered, “Are you turned on?”

You gasped, “No, why would I-”

“You’re trembling.”

“I’m scared,” your nose twitched and your gazed over his chest, feeling his cock twitch against your belly.

He chuckled and shook his head, he pressed a hard kiss against your cheek, “Merely two sides of the same coin...”

You whimpered and felt his hands smooth down your ass to your thighs. He lifted you up and pushed you onto your bed. You were at the same height now. Him kneeling on the floor with your sitting on your bed.

“You are safe, trust me,” he kissed your lips briskly, “Say it.”

“I...” you hesitated, “I am safe...and I trust you.”

His thumb pressed under your jaw, he kissed you again, “Good girl. I am not going to hurt you...truly...I promise.”

He dragged his lips down to your chest. He sucked in one of your tits. His lips smacked as he licked and sucked around your skin, you felt strange. Dirty but in a good way. Your own back curled to push into his mouth.

He pulled up after one satisfying suck, “That felt good yea?”

“S-so good,” you stuttered. Your cheeks felt warm it was like you were drunk but you knew you had a full sober conscious..

“Would you like to feel that again?” he asked, his hands ran up your thighs, spreading your knees.

You sighed as his thumb licked at your clit. You rocked your hip a little and whined. Fuck it felt good.

“Answer me puppy”

“I- oh god- I want to feel that again.”

He kissed your belly and pushed you back a little. Your head thudded against the wall. Your hands shakily grasped some pillows and put them behind your back. Your gleaming cunt glistened...that was totally you...no lube...no spit....just your arousal alone.

“Look at this pussy.” He marvelled as he pushed two fingers inside. You gasped and let out a feral moan.

“It just swallows up my fingers...do you like my fingers fucking your wet pussy?”

You whined and but your lip. When you didn’t answer, he pulled them out. He started licking them lewdly as he waited for your reply.

“I...” Your hands covered your eyes as you moaned, “I don’t know.”

“Are you turned on?” he asked you again.

“Yes,” you admitted. You just wanted his fingers back there again.

“Do you want my cock?” He purred in a soft belittling time.

“Y-yes...” you almost sobbed. God admitting it now made yourself sick. How could you admit to that? Your entire goal was to kill him. Take him down. Destroy his reputation. But here you were.

In your bedroom, crying for him to fuck you with his huge dick.

He climbed on top of you and tugged your ankles over his waist.

You felt his hard head press into your hole. His cock popped inside and his hips started the deep defend inside of you. He held your hips, lifting you up.

“Do you hate me?” he crooned, his teeth gnawed at your earlobe.

“I do,” you growled, in his ear, “fucking hate your guts.”

He laughed and groaned, “You hate my fucking guts?”

“Yes, fuck,” you gasped and scratched the back of his neck.

He was stretching you out and you drowned in his touch. You felt his cock tapping at your special spot and felt your knees clench tighter around his ribs.

“Do you want me to fuck you?” he asked despite being balls deep and jerking his hips into yours.

“Yes. Oh god,” you gargled as he decided to slam himself harder and faster. Your nails dug into his biceps. Your teeth were grit tightly. You kept swearing. It hurt and felt so good altogether.

“Who do you belong to?” he sighed, his eyes winced while your pussy clenched him tightly.

You grunted angrily, “No body.”

He punctuated with his jerking hips, “You. Belong. To. Me.”

“N-no!” You yelped, his finger curled under your collar and tugged up you neck until you were forced to put yourself up on your elbows. He slowed his speed but kept his deep entrance.

“Oh but you do puppy, you do. You already know it. You just don’t want to admit it.”

His other hand pressed against your clit and your eyes rolled a little. Your nostril flared. Fuck that was painfully good. He tugged you up by the leather strap until your nose pressed against his. His moustache tickles against your lip.

“Whose collar is around this throat?” he growlee.

You grunted, “Yours.”

“That’s right...it’s. Mine. My. Collar.”

He kissed you hard and possessively. Not once did he let the collar go. He shoved his mouth into your ear as he ground down hard inside your cunt.

“Would you fuck any other man with this collar on?”

Your hand hugged the back of his neck and scratched, “No!”

“So tell me, who do you belong to.”

Your gasped, spit flying from your mouth against his as you said it, “Y-you.”

“That’s right, good puppy. You belong to me. I own you. You are my pet. You are mine to look after...mine to protect.”

It was a mantra, a speech that planted itself into your mind as a new fact...like a new commandment that always had been yet unspoken until now.

“Say it you little bitch,” he barked.

“Yours, I’m yours,” your eyes rolled as you started to cum, your words caught in your mouth until you Released a ear piercing scream, “I belong to you!!”

You felt him cackle as you wailed through the orgasm. The pressure was like a water balloon bursting in your belly and shooting a burning pleasure through your cunt.

It took you a while to calm down. You sobbed. The pleasure was too much...you felt confused and consumed. His cock twitch and he grunted loudly before freezing. His cock moved again and you felt him pull away, his cum rushed out and dripped out of you.

You felt full and empty. It was an unusual sensation.

He was sweating, your were drenched. Leaning over your trembling body, he pressed a soft kiss to your temple and sighed, “what are you?”

“Yours,” you whined.

He chuckled and shook his head. His fingers pinched your jaw, “No, what are you to me?”

“I...” you paused and blinked lazily. Your brain was too fuzzy. “I don’t understand...I don’t know.”

Your hand wandered up to your throat. His hand was fiddling with the metal. You heard the collar pop and click. He pulled the collar away and threw it over his shoulder, “You’re my puppy.”

"And..." You voice rattled through your teeth, "And you're...daddy?"

He kissed you again and nodded, "Good girl."

HELPLINES:

If you are a victim of sexual abuse, assault or domestic violence or know someone who is please reach out to these links that share helpline services, phone numbers or emails. Consent and respect is important in every relationship whether between friends, family or even strangers. .

Australian Helpline Services

UK Helpline Services

American Helpline Services

India Helpline Services.

[lemoncrushh]

Cubicle // 3) A Girl Like You

STORY PAGE

Word Count: 1304

Thursday // Roni

Once again, I had a hard time falling asleep last night. I couldn't get those eyes, lips and dimples out of my head. I also felt bad that I had such a grim reaction to his telling me his age. It really is no big deal to me, and I hope he knows that. I started circulating in my head different scenarios in which I would apologize to him. Of course, in my fantasies, Harry always kisses me or makes passionate love to me in the end. My brain is so dramatic.

To make matters worse, I actually woke up an hour before my alarm was to go off. I tossed and turned for twenty minutes before finally giving up and hopping in the shower. Some good came out of it, however. I got to work a little earlier, and Harry just happened to pull into the parking spot next to mine at the same time I was getting out of the car. I stopped on the sidewalk to wait for him.

"Good morning," he greeted as he slammed his door shut.

"Morning, Harry," I said, giving my best smile. Or at least the best smile I could muster on very little sleep.

We walked up to the office building together, exchanging small talk about work and the weather.

"By the way," he said as he held the door open for me. "Thanks for your email yesterday."

"You're welcome."

"I'm sorry I didn't reply to it. I got really busy, and I wanted to respond only when I had enough time to say what I wanted."

A little taken aback, I raised my eyebrows in question. "And what would that be?"

Harry looked down at his feet as he smirked. "No. You'll just have to wait for the email."

I playfully pouted as we continued inside the building. I stopped by my desk to drop off my handbag and then met Harry in the break room. Alice, a sweet timid girl from the accounting department was also there, stirring her tea. She gave me a quiet greeting as I poured myself some coffee.

"So who has plans this weekend?" I asked as I sat down at the table with Harry and Alice.

"I'm not doing anything," Alice replied softly. "I never do anything."

"No?"

Alice shook her head.

"What about you, Harry?"

"No plans yet," he answered, giving me the eye. "But that can always change."

"Hmm," I nodded. "Indeed."

"Well," Harry announced as he stood up, "you ladies have a lovely morning. I have an email to write."

"Bye, Harry."

He winked at me as he left the room. I wasn't sure if Alice noticed until I heard her pipe up.

"God, you're so lucky."

"Excuse me?" I glared at her.

"I've had a crush on him since he started working here. I don't think he even knows my name. But he's obviously into you," Alice said solemnly.

I didn't really know what to say. I mean, I had the feeling he liked me, but I didn't want to make someone else feel bad.

"I'm sorry, Alice," I finally spoke. "I didn't know you liked him."

"Eh, who doesn't, honestly," she retorted. "He's bloody gorgeous."

With that, she stood and gave me a quick "see ya" before heading out of the break room. I sat by myself until I'd completely drained my coffee cup, then headed back to my desk to anticipate Harry's email.

Harry

I was really glad I ran into Roni this morning. All day yesterday I had been thinking about how to respond to her email. I didn't want it to be a quick message. I wanted to tell her how the age difference didn't matter to me if it didn't matter to her. I wanted to tell her other things, but I wasn't sure how she would take it. Maybe her quick email to me was only to be nice. Like a "nice knowing you, but you're too young for me" kind of thing.

But seeing her beautiful face as she stood there waiting for me to get out of the car sealed the deal. I knew she wasn't just being nice. Travis was right, she's into me. The way the corner of her mouth always curves up slightly whilst listening to me speak. When she licks that fucking delicious bottom lip. I want so bad to feel it on mine.

Feeling much more confident, I sat at my computer and began typing the email. I still knew however, that spilling my guts via inter-office correspondence would not be the wisest choice. If we're not even allowed to use the internet without being monitored, who knows what they do about tracking private messages.

So, I kept my words somewhat professional, yet a bit cryptic. Knowing that Roni is a smart and undoubtedly extremely clever woman, I reckoned she would understand and be able to read between the lines.

To: Graver, Veronica

From: Styles, Harry

Re: Weekly Update/Meeting

Ms. Graver,

It was a pleasure meeting you this week. Allow me to welcome you to the company. Regarding our previous discussion, I foresee no objection to future relations. After all, nineteen and twenty-seven are numbers I can certainly work with. I've checked my calendar, and I have an opening in the PM of Friday, or Saturday if that better fits your schedule. Please let me know, and do not hesitate to reach me on my personal line if you have any further questions.

Best regards,

Harry Styles

Below my name, I gave her my cell number. Then I got to work, hoping I'd get a response soon.

Roni

How fucking cute is he? I giggled to myself as I finished reading his email, then read it again. I wanted to reply with an emphatic yes but knew that would not be appropriate in a work email, which I gathered were his intentions for writing something so business-like. So, I gave a short, similar response.

Mr. Styles,

Thank you for your email and your warm welcome. I shall be contacting you via your personal line so that we may discuss our future meeting in detail.

Sincerely,

Roni Graver

Harry

I'd noticed Roni had replied to my email nearly forty minutes ago, but fucking Donald, my lame ass supervisor, had been going on and on about some account that had been waiting on their reports, which I knew I had finished and sent out last week. Then Nina, his secretary had to add fuel to the fire by telling me I had done them incorrectly because apparently, there was a change in the format that no one had bothered to tell me about.

After Nina had left, I eagerly opened the email. I grinned to myself as I read her words. Just as I was about to reply again, I heard my phone vibrate on my desk. I swiped it open to reveal a text.

Harry, you're such a clever lad. I would love to go out with you. I'm free all weekend, so you pick the time that's best for you. -Roni

After quickly saving her number in my contacts, I sent her a text back.

The sooner the better as far as I'm concerned. Tomorrow at 8?

Less than thirty seconds later she responded.

Sounds great! :) Can't wait.

I let out a deep breath I hadn't realized I was holding. I turned my attention back to my reports, but suddenly got an idea. Picking up my phone, I texted Roni again.

This might sound silly since we're going out tomorrow, but are you free for lunch?

As I waited for her text, I felt the presence of someone behind me. I turned my chair around to see Roni leaning against my cubicle partition.

"I thought you'd never ask."

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[raaorqtpbpdy]

Respect or Privacy (1)

Tucker is excited for everything about college, even having a roommate for the first time. At least, he is until his roommate Danny turns out to be standoffish and a little bit of a dick. Whatever. It's a disappointment, but he'll survive. The same might not be said of Danny.

This is my first fic for Phic Phight 2024. The prompts I used were:

College AU where the characters don't meet until college and Danny has to hide his halfa status from his dorm roommate (your choice which character that is) [from @shadowfaerieammy], and Tucker fucked up. Hard. But it’s like, how the hell was he supposed to know that hacking the federal government was a bad idea? [from @lexosaurus]

You can also read it on AO3.

Chapter 1: Fuck Around (Chapter 2)

[No warnings apply]

Tucker was excited for college. After the nightmare that was high school (his dad's "just be confident and people will like you and treat you well" advice had been complete garbage), he was looking forward to a school experience where everyone had actually signed up for and more-or-less wanted to be there. He was looking forward to studying programming and information technology, and spending six hours a day on average hanging out with people who were just as interested in those subjects as he was.

Then, obviously, there were the college girls—big bonus to this whole experience. Lastly, he was looking forward to the dorm experience. He'd always been kind of lonely growing up. He was an only child, and he'd never had any close friends. Honestly, he'd been closer with his bullies than he had been to the other guys in the A/V club his mom had convinced him to join which was... embarrassing.

But all freshman were required to live on campus, and he'd signed up for a double room, meaning that he would have a roommate who would have no choice but to spend time with him, and as a result, they would have to get used to each other, and learn to live with each other, and inevitably become best friends—at least until the end of freshman year.

When Tucker reached his new dorm, room 416, he could hear grumbling and shuffling on the other side of the door. His roommate must already be here. He grinned as he opened the door.

"Hey, roomie!" Tucker greeted cheerfully.

His roommate jumped at the sound, and slammed a dresser drawer closed on his finger. "Fuck!" he yelped, and turned around with a wide-eyed look on his face like he'd just been caught doing something illegal.

"Uh... sorry," Tucker said. "Didn't mean to spook ya."

"Heh, you didn't... I mean you surprised me, but I wasn't like... scared...." He cleared his throat and gave Tucker an awkward forced smile. "I'm Danny."

"Tucker Foley." Tucker tossed his duffel bag onto the empty bed and gently placed his box of tech on the desk next to it. "Looked like you were struggling with that drawer, whatcha got in there?"

Danny's smile fell. "Look, I don't wanna sour our relationship right out of the gate, but that's really none of your business. I would appreciate it if you kept your nose out of my stuff."

"Uh... okay, sure," Tucker agreed. "Wasn't trying to be nosy or anything, anyway. Sorry."

"Good," Danny said, the tension in his body language easing slightly. "As long as you respect my privacy, I think we'll get along fine."

Tucker smiled, but he felt his heart sink. 'Respect my privacy' sounded a lot like it meant 'leave me alone', and 'leave me alone' was pretty much the same as 'I don't want to be your friend', which sounded a lot like all Tucker's hopes for dorm life flushing down the toilet.

"So where're you from, Danny?" Tucker asked. "Or is that information too personal."

Danny paused before answering, like he was genuinely trying to decide if it was too personal or not.

"Illinois," he said finally. "You?"

"Illinois, also. What town?" Tucker asked. "Man, wouldn't it be wild if we grew up in the same place and never met before? I'm from Elmerton."

"Elmerton? Ew," Danny said with a laugh. "I'm an Amity Parker. I'd rather die than live in Elmerton. Elmerton sucks."

"Hey! It may be kinda boring, I'll give you that much, but it's still better than haunted-ass Amity Park!" Tucker argued, thankful it seemed like things were starting to lighten up a bit between him and his new roommate. "At least I didn't grow up surrounded by a bunch of evil ghosts taking revenge on the living."

Tucker was laughing, but just like that, Danny's demeanor got cold and closed off again. Shit. Tucker let his laughter awkwardly trail off, wondering what he'd said wrong. Man, making friends was even harder than he thought.

"Is that all your stuff?" Danny asked. "Just the one bag and a cardboard box?"

"Oh! No! I still have some things to bring up; I left them with the dorm supervisor. I better go get 'em."

"Yeah, you probably should," Danny agreed. "I wouldn't put that much trust in the dorm supervisor, he seemed kinda shady."

"Er... right."

Tucker went down to grab the last of his stuff, and by the time he reentered the dorm room, Danny was gone.

He sighed. "Great first impression, Tuck. Well done."

Danny must've arrive much earlier in the day than Tucker had, because most of his stuff was already unpacked. His bed was made and everything. As Tucker's eyes wandered over Danny's side of the room, they were drawn to the bottom drawer of his dresser, the one he'd accidentally slammed his finger in, trying to make sure Tucker didn't see what was in it.

"I shouldn't," he said out loud. "Danny literally asked for one thing—that I respect his privacy."

Poking around now would be completely stupid. It would ruin my chances of ever being friends with him. Tucker reminded himself internally.

Still, he couldn't tear his eyes away from that drawer.

And he doubted Danny would be back any time soon. It wouldn't be dark for a few more hours at least, and Danny was clearly avoiding him.

Against his better judgement, Tucker knelt down on the floor and opened the dresser drawer, expecting to see sex toys, or lingerie, or something similarly embarrassing. Instead, he found strange, futuristic looking weapons and technology. It looked like alien shit. Was Danny secretly an alien? No, that was stupid.... Right?

Tucker slowly pushed the drawer closed again, questioning everything he knew about the universe.

He would have preferred sex toys.

No, they had to be earthly technology, because Tucker distinctly remembered seeing a logo emblazoned on everything that said 'Fenton Works'. All he had to do was look that up online and put his mind at ease. Danny seemed like a... fairly reasonably guy. There had to be a good explanation for him having a cache of high tech weapons in a college dorm. Although, to be honest, it wasn't looking too good at the moment.

Tucker unpacked his box of tech, set up his desktop PC set up and plugged in his laptop and PDA to charge. Then, he looked up Fenton Works, which brought him to an absolutely hideous orange and teal website for what seemed to be a small family business in Amity Park that specialized in ghost hunting and developing ghost hunting technology.

A sigh of relief escaped him.

Danny definitely wasn't an alien. He was just another paranoid Amity Parker, worried about ghosts attacking, even though they were all the way in Wisconsin. That was probably why he'd tensed up when Tucker made a crack about ghosts before. Tucker's dad sometimes went to Amity Park for work, and he said they were super serious about ghosts there, and didn't appreciate jokes about their haunting situation. Honestly, Tucker should have known better from the start, but he'd thought they were riffing. He hadn't gotten all offended when Danny made fun of Elmerton.

Whatever. He could apologize when Danny got back. In the meantime, he started programming his class schedule for this semester into his PDA, making sure there would be room for homework—and, more importantly, college parties.

As the days passed and classes started and the two of them both got busier, Tucker made an effort to talk to Danny as much as possible, and even though Danny smiled and responded politely, he always dodged any personal topics. Also, Tucker was pretty sure he was avoiding spending more time together than was strictly necessary, but he couldn't be sure. Still, he was determined for he and Danny to be friends.

"So Danny, I heard about this party one of the frats is hosting to draw in pledges," Tucker said. "Obviously I'm not planning to join a frat, but it could still be fun. Wanna come with me?"

"Uh... I'm not really a party person," Danny said apologetically. "I'm more of a bed person, enjoyer of sleeping and chilling."

"I get that, sure, but don't you want to meet people? Make friends? Maybe find a girlfriend? Or boyfriend, I don't judge."

"Thanks, but no thanks," Danny refused. "You have fun, though."

Tucker left it at that, but he couldn't help wondering what exactly was up with Danny being so standoffish. Did he have a problem with Tucker in particular, or was he just anti-social? It wasn't exactly unusual for someone not to want to go to a party. It could be that he didn't like crowds, or loud music, or being around drunk people, or frats in general. There were plenty of reasons Danny might not want to go—and no evidence that Tucker was part of the reason at all.

That didn't stop Tucker from wondering if he was.

That trend continued for the first month. Tucker would invite Danny to do something as friends, and Danny would decline for one reason or another, no matter what it was Tucker had proposed. Everything from parties in the dorm, to just going to get coffee or tea before classes, whether it was loud or quiet, crowded or solitary—even going to study at the library in silence, Danny always had a reason to say 'no', and Tucker was starting to take it personally.

"Okay, what's your deal?" Tucker demanded after Danny once again refused to join him, this time for literally just takeout in their dorm room—Tuck had offered to pay and everything. "Do you have some kind of problem with me, or something? I just want us to get along and shit, 'cause we're roommates, and we have to live with each other all year, but you keep shutting me down! So what gives?!"

"Nothing," Danny insisted. "Honestly, I'm just not hungry."

"Yeah, this time you're not hungry, but you refused laser tag 'cause you're not very athletic, and studying at the library 'cause you had other plans with your classmates, and coffee before class 'cause you don't drink coffee—even though I've literally seen you drinking coffee before!" Tucker snapped. "Dude, it's ten pm, and you haven't eaten since breakfast, you can't not be hungry, so what's wrong with you?!"

Danny flinched at the question, but Tucker couldn't feel too bad for mildly offending the guy who'd been blowing him off all month.

"Nothing," Danny said again, not meeting Tucker's angry gaze. "I'm just... I'm just a regular, ordinary guy. So go ahead and order takeout if you care so much, I'm not gonna stop you."

"No. That's not good enough," Tucker insisted. "I been trying to hang with you since we moved in, and you keep blowing me off for no good reason. So what's the issue? Is it 'cause I'm black?"

"What?! No!"

"Then what?! Give me one good reason why you're treating me this way?"

"Look, it's not about you, okay?"

"Oh, you're gonna pull out an 'it's not you, it's me'? I'm not your overbearing girlfriend, I'm your roommate, and all I wanted to do was get along."

"I don't want any friends, okay?!" Danny finally burst out. "I don't have any problem with you, I just... I just think I'm better off on my own."

All Tucker could do was stare in disbelief.

"I made up excuses because I didn't want to offend you or anything, because I didn't want us to be on bad terms," Danny continued. "We're still roommates. I know that, and I'm not so stupid that I wanted to torch that relationship right out of the gate, but I'm not looking for someone to be best friends with, you know? All I wanted from a roommate was mutual respect and privacy."

"Why?" asked Tucker at length.

"What do you mean 'why'?"

"I mean, why do you want to be alone all the time?" Tucker pressed. "I been there, and it sucks. It's lonely and sad and pathetic and people make fun of you for being some kind of defective human being who can't get anyone lo like you. Why would you want that?"

"I like my solitude," Danny mumbled. He was back to not being able to look at Tucker again.

"You're afraid," Tucker refuted.

"What makes you say that?"

"It's obvious," Tucker said. "I don't know why, but for some reason you're just fucking terrified of people getting close to you? So what is it? Are you terminally ill or something? Do you secretly just have a totally shitty personality? What?"

For a long moment, Danny was silent, but he did tilt his head up to look Tucker squarely in the eye before speaking.

"That's none of your business."

Tucker's forehead wrinkled and his mouth fell open incredulously. Slowly, he shook his head. "Fuckin' fine. Whatever," he said finally. "You want a roommate who'll leave you alone—you got it. But mutual respect is off the table, 'cause you just lost mine."

[resident-idiot-simp]

How do you think 09 v Reboot MW would fair in the SPN verse?

Would be creatures or hunters?

how’d they react to the characters from SPN and in a fair fight who would win?

YOU HAVE UNLOCKED SOMETHING IN ME!

Okay this whole thing is very complicated let's break it down.

First of all I think either could be both depending on the vibe you are going for but here is my first thoughts on it.

22-

Soap: hunter

Ghost: creature (werewolf or vampire maybe)

Gaz: hunter

Price: hunter

09-

Tav: toss up maybe originally Hunter turned creature I want to say vampire..... For Obvious reasons

Riley: creature (I would like to say Wendigo I really would but that might not fit quite in the universe... I'm going to say it anyway)

Roach: creature (Hell maybe he could be a Phoenix that would be very interesting considering they're all dead)

Price: Hunter but like Gordon vibes

React is a good question... There are so many characters I could go on about... Honestly it might be easier to ask about a specific character but I'm just going to do a vague overall. So TFW + Gabriel (because he is the best character)

Sam- He likes all the 22 boys honestly (probably a particular liking in Soap) he probably is just curious about their lives. 09 probably extremely hesitant but even more interested. He hates Price because Price is far too much like John.

Dean- He finds a keen spirit in Ghost and finds Soap fascinating. Hates 09 Price and probably wants to kill Riley. Tav is off-putting and he is confused by Roach and asks him a metric shit ton of questions.

Cas- He really don't care about any of them except for Riley and Roach probably he just wants to understand how they function and why (09) Price isn't dead

Gabriel - He loves the 22 boys and will treat Ghost like a pet. Soap is displeased but can't do shit about it. He finds Soap fun to poke and prod at and likes to call Price a child.

09- He wants to put Riley in a jar and study him. And he is so found of Roach (kindred spirits those two both can't FUCKING DIE) . Tav gets the trickster special because he isn't found of where he is headed and Price is free game to hunt.

(there is more Gabriel because I understand how far better then any other character.)

And in a fight?? That's not really a fair question... Because it's the Winchester's..... They can beat any character in fiction let's be honest here.

Castiel alone bodies. ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ BUT I don't think that's the answer you want. So instead let's break it down.

They both have military tactics they are both honed in their craft. Tactics wise I don't know who actually wins It might be a toss-up. Would I like to give it to the Captain? Yes! Would he actually come out on top? I'm not sure.

Fighting wise again toss up they really are evenly matched in my mind.

The thing is the Winchester's have the advantage they know more than any hunter in the world because of the bunker.

If we're not counting just how overpowered the Winchester's are for the numerous reasons they are not only because God made them that powerful. They are honestly two sides of the same coin so I'm the end It might just be a draw ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

[fandomwave]

OK I HAVE THE TIME SO I WANNA TALK ABOUT THE NEW TCOAAL UPDATE HOLY SHIT! You know the drill: It folgers galore here and if that gives you hives then stay out of the kitchen

O K

I wanna get some of the heavier things out of the way like the fact that I would imagine this

And

Are probably the same event and honestly I get the feeling it's Andrew who does it to her and I think she deserves to maybe kill him as a treat for it afterwards. I know it's entirely too early to tell and maybe sure whatever this happens in burial but I really do think Decay is where we are going to see Andrew bloom into the WORST possible version of himself. I know there's been some back and forth on what each ending might be but I honestly can't get this scene out of my head months after playing the game:

(Excuse my note app)

Andrew 'Andy' is vicious here. Control is the name of the game for sure, but I've said it before and I'll say it again, the Grave's murder is the coin toss between is Andrew begins to release his grip on Ashley and allow trust in her, as ASHLEY and not as the burden Leyley. Or if he rips control out of Ashley's hands by force and suffocates whatever trust they could have had. Andrew has ALREADY been seen as violent towards Ashley. He has choked her before, and she has internalized that, he's hurt her, both by pulling her hair violently and also smacking her in the car. Before the graves house we see this waffling between tender and violence between the BOTH of them but more so Andrew than anyone and in Decay we see he is no longer even invested in keeping the pretense of any love between them.

I still posit that the kiss before he says this, is his kiss goodbye to whatever he thought remained in her. If we remember Andrew is actually far nicer to her AFTER she passes out in the car. He's affectionate, loving, caring and tends to actually give her the lead on plans, he jokes with her and we see him smile more than most any other part in the game. This is what they COULD be if he allows trust. But decay smothers that. He can see the writing on the wall and terminates any further connection other than obligation alone. It's stomach churning how far of a pivot Andrew takes. That single line "I said pick them up you dumb bitch" is so.. It's one of the few lines that gives me pause because of how brutal the tonal shift is. I hate it lol. It's another tip to Nems for just how wild the tone of this game can swing when she needs that tide to turn. I think Ashley is going to see just how rotten and disgusting Andrew can be when he's got nothing worth striving towards.

OK Before I go into another ESSAY about that (Which someday I'll do)

T H E . V O I C E M A I L S! God this recontextualizes so much of what I had written in my notes before which I'll share here:

SO THERE'S A LOT TO UNPACK HERE. One, as always, there is no way to say for certain if these are voicemails that Julia did get. Remember this is again Andrew's mindset and his memories and worldview. I doubt he'd have heard these and not been surprised by Ashley's harassment. Like it does feel like Julia's call to him was a surprise which is why he was trying to at least damage control it. I would posit that this entire thing, this whole deluge of vitriol, I think some of it is his own internalization. It's a DISTORTED voice of Ashley I would be SO VERY CURIOUS about if these aren't thoughts he had himself but pressed through the voice of Ashley. Hints of truth. Maybe Andrew DID had other girls he hooked up with, even if he did care for Julia the most? Maybe he DID date her because he felt sorry for her, for what he'd done to her indirectly through Nina's death We KNOW the fact that Nina's death lingers in the back of Andrew AND MORE IMPORTANTLY Ashley's mind even in the now. That's not even a half truth. But I think it's the last part, the part that Andrew STOPS at, that's the most telling. It's hard not to think the internal berating of how Julia will never be Ashley. That he'll never love her like he loves Ashley. That no matter how he dresses it up, he'll always return to her. The line 'I am the secrets you'll never hear' I don't think that's poetics, I think that's the literal. Ashley is a secret that Julia will NEVER hear because even Andrew is unwilling to face them. Ashley is Andrew's own secret because, the game has sort of hammered home, that he has feelings for her he can't express or act out.

SO CLEARLY I can throw this out into the garbage which is, can I say the one thing I ADORE about this game. I love backtracking so much into my notes, hunting down theories and then re-annotating them to uncover the bigger picture? Ok sorry enough gushing

So Ashley is using some sort of voice distortion (Interesting given I don't think that kind of device was uh, easily accessible in the 90s but I could be wrong. We thought they were so cool as kids but if I remember they were hard to get a hold of for a reason)

Andrew says to Julia's face that Ashley is not this person, shut up, ignore it, please leave it alone and all that, and we know he's covering for Ashley but it drives me up a fucking wall that he knew he knew he knew he knew and he's always known and we had proof of this even in ep 2

He heard it and knew from the start that it was Ashley calling her and yet he had no only the fucking audacity to just lie to Julia's face but to fuckin

SLAM (and it is LOUD with headphones) the phone and get so hostile and violent with her about it is so disgusting. He will kill god if it means he can protect the fragile line he's walking in projecting his desires onto Julia for Ashley and keep up the ruse that he's not some sweaty siscon. I'd also posit the reason he gets so hostile and so angry about it IS because Julia is breaking the illusion. She is reminding him accidentally that she is not Ashley, and even worse and idealized non combative version of Ashley.

I wonder if Julia heard him right.. "I love you too" seems an odd response to say to that prior sentence And then Andrew covering her mouth afterwards.. There's a theory that it's there to keep the illusion of him superimposing Ashley on to her, and her speaking at all breaks that illusion but I'll be honest I think it's the words 'I love you' The times we hear Ashley say that she loves Andrew (so far as we've seen) - I love you Andy - You're lucky I love you too much to shoot - Beloved don't test me.... (More of a pet name but I'll give it a SOFT pass) We don't see Ashley say it at ALL during the trust/Burial/Lovers route in the slightest. She's almost allergic to any forms of genuine affirmation of love specifically. Anytime she says it it's either to Andy or it's in jest. HOWEVER We see it SO MUCH MORE In Decay.

I will. Right after you love me with half the heart I love you with, asshole!

So I think, honestly with Julia offering such a sincere offer of an 'I love you' it just shows the gap between her and Ashley even more and he wants NO part of that. It breaks the illusion. Ashley would never say that. And it makes his skin crawl OK I HAVE RAMBLED ON SO MUCH and I know I didn't have much to say about the last few updates but in all honesty we didn't really have much to go on. Uuuuuh i guess lemme kno in the notes if yall ever wanted to hear more about some other thoughts I have about the Grimdark Folgers Commercial. I have thought about opening asks but uuuuuuuuuuugh the thought of it gives me hives so Im just gonna probably stick to notes/tags ;w

[ragyragd0ll]

Vincent painting date fanfic

Requested by: @nightvers

Fandom: Ikemen Vampire

Genre: Romance

SFW

"Good morning, my schaje." Vincent greeted her, "Good morning Vince!" She smiled as she entered the room, her eyes slipped down to look at the two blank canvases in his hands. "What are those for?"

"Oh, I was thinking that we could go out and paint each other. If you want that is..." A slight blush appeard on his cheeks. 'Is this a date?' she thought, and smiled as she answered "I would love to." "Alright, let's go to the garden" he said "Wait, now?" "Yes" he said as he gently grabbed my hand and led me to the guarden. It was a little more breezy than usual today.

"Ready?" He said with his usual soothing voice, as he sat up two wooden easels Infront of each other. "Uh, yes" "Then let's start." He handed a canvas to her and sat his own on his easel. As soon as she sat down her's, he began painting her. And she hurriedly began too. On his side his careful and practiced strokes danced beatifully across the canvas, forming a beautiful silhouette of her. He occasionally looked over his canvas to look, and memorize her appearance, her every hair strand and every eyelash.

 On her side however, her strokes were too stiff, messy, and the colours did not compliment. A crime against anything art stands for. In fact, she could- No, she SHOULD be executed for this abomination. Nevertheless, a few minutes passed and Vincent laid his pencil down "Done?" He asked "Umm, Yeeaaah..." "Great, who will reveal theirs first?" "You go first!" She  quickly answered. He carefully picked up his painting and turned it around to show her, and gosh was it beautiful, you could even mistake the painting for her! "I'm sorry I couldn't capture your beauty, it was too big to fit on the canvas." He said bluntly "How about you, may I see your painting?"

 "M-My painting? Haha... Umm, first! Did you sleep well tonight?" She laughed akwardly "I slept well, thank you" he answered "May I see your painting?" He reached for it, but she quickly snatched it away before he could see it. "My schaje?" He tilted his head in confusion. "Oh, umm..." She hid it behind her back, looking for anything to distract him, until someone who seemed to have snuck up behind her grabbed it out of hands "Are you bullying my brother?" Theo said as he stared at the painting "Ah! Give it back!" "Nope" Theo said as he tossed my painting over to Vincent, which landed in the grass. "Careful, you could ruin her beautiful pai-" Vincent cut himself off as he looked at the painting. "This is..." He slowly picked it up and stared at for a few moments "V-Vincent?" She asked, concerned at his silence. Then, a tear trickles down his cheek "I love it" he said softly.

The painting in question:

.

.

.

END

I honestly didn't know how to end it so I just did... that. Hope you enjoyed it.

[imaginespazzi]

Alright bestie, second chance bracket now that we’re down to the sweet 16, who you got?

Cos rn i got (and i’m actually mostly using my singular brain cell this time):

Elite 8

SC vs ND (i think Oregon St could upset ND but i hope not)

Texas v Stanford (i could see nc state potentially upsetting stanford but i think stanford holds on)

Colorado vs UCLA (wvu came sooo close to that golden upset, and so in jaylyn i trust to actually get the job done. UCLA and LSU have both seemed a bit shaky to me so this is a toss-up but no way in hell am i gonna choose milky)

USC vs UConn (of course)

Final Four

SC vs Texas (idk, stanford hasn’t given me a lot of confidence lately but i could be wrong!)

UCLA vs UConn (going with ucla marginally since they swept colorado during the regular szn, and huskies restarting that final four streak plus paige reminding everyone that’s still doubting, why she’s the best. Like i love juju but it’s still paige>>>)

National Championship

SC vs UConn

Champion

I want to say UConn, babes, I do but i just cannot see anyone beating SC rn and us even getting to this point with our (lack of) depth would be a heck of an achievement but beating SC is one too many hail marys i think 😭

Ngl though, i kinda don’t wanna see us lose to SC again in the championship game and so a part of me would actually rather us lose in the final 4 if that was the case 😬 (unless we play iowa or lsu then fuck that i’ll take the loss to sc)

I'm scared to predict at this point cause my brackets was in shambles and lowkey you and I are on the same wavelength with most of these but here we go:

Elite 8:

SC vs ND: SC obviously (and I need them to destroy those zionists) and I think Oregon St. could make something happen but I think after the Naismith "snub" (quotes cause I'm 50-50 on this) Hannah is gonna be on one and Oregon St. doesn't have anyone who can stop her.

Texas vs Stanford: Texas because Gonzaga does nothing for me and Stanford v NC-State is gonna be really interesting, but ultimately I don't see how NC-State stops Cam and Kiki.

Iowa vs UCLA: Listen I think Colorado can beat Iowa. I just don't think they can beat the refs+Iowa+the narrative the networks want. The same honestly could be said for LSU-UCLA because the LSU-Iowa rematch is what the NCAA wanted but I think UCLA can overcome that (as opposed to Colorado) because they're a better team and because LSU has been unimpressive to me

UConn vs USC: Baylor does not impress me at all and well the UConn-Duke matchup *pray pray pray* I'mma shut up about it because I'm not in the mood to jinx things

Final 4:

SC vs Stanford: I think the ND vs SC game will be a lot better than the one in Paris but SC is just too much at the end of the day. And again with Stanford-Texas, I could see it go either way but I just don't see Texas stopping Cam-Kiki both

UCLA vs UConn: UCLA is a better team but again there's a narrative and refs and even despite that as we saw last year, it could still be Iowa, but I still think it's gonna be UCLA. USC vs UConn, Juju vs Paige might cancel out but I'd like to think the rest of the UConn team (if they show up) is better than the USC also just who's gonna guard Aaliyah?

National Championship

SC vs UConn: I do actually have Stanford in my bracket but as you said they're kinda not giving me the greatest vibes and well SC is SC. On the other side though, fuck it, in Paige Bueckers we believe. But also, I think this is a much better team than the one that faced UCLA in November. We were figuring things out and the team's morale was really low, I think we'll be much better. Also never underestimate Cori Close's ability to be outcoached especially if it's Geno of all people. A

Champion: I'm not gonna say it but y'all know what I'm thinking. Does it make sense to pick SC? Yes. If you're a betting person, do that. But me I'm here for vibe so once again, fuck it, in Paige Bueckers we believe!