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deludedfantasy · 1 year ago

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Trimax Vol.2

Hello! I’ve been lurking in the book club so far but I wanted to jump in the ring and add my own thoughts to the mix. Fun fact: I actually binge read the manga about two weeks, but read it so fast I didn’t absorb much. I’m taking this as an opportunity to read it more slowly and really savor it, and hopefully understand it a little more. My first experience was fun, but I was also a little confused by the end.

I certainly can’t compare to some of amazing analyses I’ve read so far, but here are some thoughts!

Ch1

WOW. What an opening. This only gets more horrifying on reread. I was actually very confused the first go around because I thought Midvalley was the one shoving all those people in the trucks and squashing them and my knowledge of him from 98 did NOT fit this at all. It was a great way to reintroduce Legato though

I’m STILL wondering who this giant person is that’s carrying Legato around in his Iron Maiden. Just another Knives minion I guess?? They got put on Legato babysitting duty

Ch2

Well, Legato is somehow more unhinged than before

Genuinely sometimes feel like Legato mauling that steak when I’m reading this manga though

Love when Vash and Wolfwood are being stupid together. Also Vash driving is me when I drive

Vash’s ridiculous greeting Rai Dei is preceded by him having a Very Serious moment staring at the empty town. I appreciate the ability this manga has to insert moments of humor into otherwise incredibly serious situations without it being jarring. 10/10 great character and storytelling

Death skull rollerblades??? Death skull rollerblades!!!

I really like this panel of Vash, right after Rai Dei reveals he knows about the colony. Something about how most of his face is obscured, it really underscores how terrifying Vash can be. Every time something he loves is threatened, he gets very, very scary very fast and the way Nightow shows this is just amazing

Ch3

The cover for this chapter is on point

Not actually sure what Wolfwood is saying here? He’s going to help Vash…because the Gung Ho Guns are inhuman humans? They’re too determined and this will take too long?

Vash acrobatics!! Big fan of Vash acrobatics!!

He just won a fight but he’s such a goofball about it

Ch4

“C’mon. Leading a normal life, it’s not so bad, y’know.” He’s speaking from experience and this line makes me kinda sad. He really liked it, but he had to give it up to do the right thing :(

You know, for some of the backstories of the Gung Ho Guns, it makes sense where they got their abilities from. Like Monev and Rai Dei obviously trained for years and years to become these expert fighters. But for the others, like Dominique and Legato, I’m constantly wondering where they picked up what are essentially supernatural abilities without being plants or something. Though this may just be the fact that I saw tristamp first talking, since they do explain that there.

WHAT? How did I not notice Rai Dei had a gunblade??? My favorite ridiculous anime weapon

Also, uh oh Wolfwood’s done it now

Holy shit, did Vash just punch him?!?!

Hmmmm, oh yes, this scene made me lose my mind when I first read it (last week lol). Wolfwood trying to prove a point about making tough decisions by making Vash literally put a gun to his head and calling Vash a coward for refusing to kill and get his hands dirty

Unfortunately, it also confuses the hell out of me because it feels like they’re having multiple conversations at once and I can’t pick up on maybe more than half of one.

But!! The thing that stands out to me: Vash calls Wolfwood out, saying that he knows he’s better than this, that he wants better than this, but he’s so scared of hoping that he becomes a devil instead. I love how these two really see each other. Even when Wolfwood is kinda scared of Vash, he’s trying to understand him more than anything, and though he struggles, he does see him and get him

On a lighter note…Ahhh yes, the girls are back!! I’ve missed them the past few chapters.

Ch5

Oh no, Wolfwood’s dream :( It makes me so, so sad. He just really doesn’t think there’s any way for him to go back or wash his hands clean

The tone shifts are honestly masterful. Wolfwood goes from having a horrible nightmare to slapstick comedy because Vash crashed Angelina again

Gotta love that Wolfwood just dumps Vash facedown on that couch

Oh my god, Vash, you have a concussion, what are you doing!! Why did Wolfwood just leave him there on his own? I know they haven’t spent that much time together, but does Wolfwood not know him at all? Vash will get into Situations if left to his own devices.

Hmmm, Rob’s situation really underscores the argument Vash and Wolfwood were having last chapter. Especially his father’s line about not everyone being able to gamble with their lives so easily

Jesus, Wolfwood is terrified of Vash. I thought on my first read that this is a bit of an overreaction to this situation, but thinking on it again, after Fifth Moon and seeing all the crazy shit Vash can do, it has to be scary to see a guy who’s hurt and reeling and still manages to cause massive damage. So yeah, can’t really blame him for wondering what kind of monster he’s gotten himself involved with

But then he’s reminded…Vash is also just some silly guy who really likes food. Ah, the duality of man and monster. Again, the tone shift from Wolfwood having serious thoughts of fear and doubt to Vash being a certified goofball.

Ch6

The opening of this chapter is great. We get a little bit of Wolfwood’s backstory and start to understand how dark it is. Who shot him as a child? Where did he come from? But also, we find out he has a deep conviction to stay alive

You know, I completely forgot Rei Dei threatened the colony two chapters ago because for a hot sec I was really confused why they’d been traveling so hard and why the hell they’re on this weird contraption right now.

What’s interesting to me about what Wolfwood says here—about living his life the way he does, about the reason he kills—is because he’s doing it to protect something. Just reminds me of that bit of Stampede where Vash asks Wolfwood if he has something he wants to protect above anything else. And how protect has a different meaning to each of them—for Wolfwood it’s about who he’d kill for and for Vash it’s about what he would do to save them. Idk, there might be more there but I’m having a hard time explaining it.

Vash has a moment of doubt in front of Wolfwood! He admits he’s not always sure of what he’s doing. I kind of read Wolfwood’s silence as him not knowing what to say to that because he wasn’t expecting that

Okay, but how hidden is this place really if there’s a platform and an elaborate construction to get into it. Are you telling me no one has stumbled on it before and wondered where it led?

Vash is so afraid when he opens the door! His first thought is of all the horrors his enemies have promised to him and he doesn’t know if he can face it

Look at him!! He’s so sweet! He’s relieved and immediately goes to play with the kids. (While Wolfwood just poses lol)

Oh god, he gets teary eyed, he’s so happy! How rarely have people reacted to his presence with joy or care?

How dare!! This was cruel. Crueler then if he’d walked in on corpses. He’s literally given something he wants so deeply and then has it snatched away

Ch7

Wolfwood really went, “I’m done listening to your bullshit” and interrupted Leonof’s evil villain speech. Respect.

Ooooh, Wolfwood did it because he was angry. He felt Leonof was too cruel! He cares so much about Vash already.

Hey um so…did Leonof just say his puppets used to be people?!?! That he dissected while they were alive?!?!?! Yeah, no wonder this guy is unimaginably cruel.

Oh, Vash is angry. I love how he’s drawn when he’s like this. He disappears behind his glasses and his face gets very still. That’s when you know he means business.

Vash is crying blood!? And he’s so angry he’s emanating some weird aura that paralyzes Wolfwood and emits a “sensation of death.” I’m actually having trouble finding the words to describe how I feel because this is a very different Vash from the one we’re used to. It’s jarring and terrifying to see him like this. And that feeling also reminds Wolfwood again that Vash isn’t human, something Wolfwood is very fixated on.

Despite that, when Gray the Ninelives appears and Wolfwood makes eye contact with Vash, he doesn’t immediately go to shooting him! We’re making progress already.

That’s that for this volume! Excited to get started on the next one and see how the big showdown with Leonof goes!

#trigun #trigunbookclub

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kamil-a · 2 years ago

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fuzzy feelings

Happy valentine’s exchange, @indigosees !!

Here’s some clock tower trio for youuu :3

You asked for platonic or poly or Ace/Julius or Alice/Julius and so I put them all in my bubbly cauldron and got you, uh, pre-poly? Nobodys dating........ yet. There’s some feelings of competition and jealousy but yknow. Alice is nervous.

In anniversary you can’t actually romance Julius from the castle, which makes it a beautiful fresh blank canvas for me to work on.

Normally, it is Alice who complains about the inane things as Julius works, but this time he seems almost desperate for a conversation partner.

"Do you know what kind of things I have to put up with here," he greets her. He grabs a teddy bear- yup, she’d know that thing anywhere, the letter still clasped in its paw and the poorly done stitching still marring its leg despite the rip long having healed- by the scruff of its fuzzy neck, and shakes it in her face.

She was hoping maybe he’d be cheered up, intrigued, or at worst bored.

Instead, he’s... extremely not pleased with it.

Oof.

"It was outside my door when I got back from doing some work outside.”

She knows. She had watched Ace put it there.

"Oh, wow..."

"A "secret admirer", he scoffs. "Idiot thinks I'll fall for it."

He sighs, anger deflating.

"Supposedly, whoever wrote it is from your place. If they even exist, tell them they should've at least let me eat a chocolate for all the trouble."

"I’ll let them know," said Alice, who was half the team responsible. She tries to defend it, just once-

"But, I don’t know if you should necessarily be angry? Maybe someone really wanted to..."

He gives her a look that she can't possibly finish her sentence under.

"Please. I know when I’m being made fun of. Bet you within the next 10 time periods there'll be another note telling me to meet them somewhere so they can pop out with their friends and laugh."

He collapses into his chair, starts fixing a clock with the viciousness of someone stopping one. Alice is left to try and not look guilty as he works, bury her face in a book and pretend to read in silence for a little while before-

"I like that you don’t go places much!" he mutters. “The nerve...”

She doesn’t trust herself to make a sound. Alice is glad he's quoting Ace's contribution to the letter, at least. If it were her own words being spat out like that she probably could never face him again. As it is now, she presses the book against her scrunched up eyes, tries not to say anything.

He hates it, she should’ve realized that he’d hate it from the start, and when he finds out who it’s from this little friendship they’ve built up will be over, and, and....

I can’t believe I let Ace get me caught up in this.

Alice herself would feel like she could call it “a few days ago”, but really there's no way to check- so it is “a bunch of time periods ago”, then, when a longer break in her work found her walking to the tower, getting hungry while she was out and about, and knowing- certainly - that she would not eat well at Julius' place, that's for sure. She ducked into a grocery a few blocks away from the tower, and figured she may as well buy extra food for him, while she's there. There had been a lot of trial and error involved. She has had to withstand horrors (watching him cook things in the fastest and 'most convenient' way, devoid of any spice or taste or making sense). She's got it down to a science now: Deli meat (sliced). Cheeses (sliced). Bread (sliced). Fresh fruits, and- someone's hand brushed hers over an apple.

"Ace!"

"Oh! Alice!"

At that point she did not yet know the knight particularly well- technically, they’re coworkers, but she mostly does housework, deliberately kept away from the grisly bits a knight would be in charge of. She knew him just enough to know he's got a dazzling smile and a cheerful air and a terrible sense of direction.

In fact-

"Just checking, but you aren't thinking this is the castle kitchen, right?"

He threw back his head and laughed.

"Well, now that you bring it up! I did at first, but then I got told off for eating things from the shelves. So I figured out I must’ve taken a wrong turn somewhere pretty quick!"

Ah... Of course he did.

"And what brings you allllll the way out here instead of the kitchen at home?", he asked Alice, which was a question she was a little bit dreading. “Did you get lost too? It’s a pretty confusing trip from the personal rooms to the kitchen, right?”

“Only for you.”

“Don’t be embarrassed! We’re lost... but we’re together.”

“I told you, I’m not lost.”

“So why are you here?”

Good question.

It wasn't that she was.... hiding.... her frequent visits to Julius. It's just that she's been.... not really saying anything about them.

And worrying that she'll be banned from going if she's caught.

And worrying that if she's caught taking too much food from her current place of residence to feed an different territory's leader, even being an outsider might not save her...

Well, if she had to get caught, Ace certainly seemed like the sort to be less bothered than Peter or the Q- or Vivaldi, remember to call her without titles or you're toast.

"I was, uh, visiting a friend who lives around here-" she hoped she hadn't taken too long to answer.

"No way, so am I!" said Ace.

"-And I figured I'd bring some food so we could make sandwiches while we..."

Her defensive babbling was still running automatically as her mind caught up.

"Wait, you too?"

"Well, I do a lot of journeying! Of course I'd end up making friends from lots of places."

"That's..." she couldn’t look straight at that beamish grin of his. He pulled something out of his pocket and laughed again.

"So anyway, my friend wanted me to pick him up some supplies while he was busy- and, I'm a knight, of course, so I'd always offer help to those in need! But, it’s a little bit difficult, because..." and he held out the note to her.

If she were looking at him, instead of the note, she would have seen something in his eyes- questioning, testing. She missed it. The note just said: you know what i eat.

"Julius..." she groaned, because it's so obviously him-

But- but that means-

"So you know him too!" Ace cheered, and did a delighted little clap. He threaded an arm through hers, (an action which Alice was not the biggest fan of), and peeked in her basket.

"So, you’re the one buying him the deli meat lately. It's good stuff! I should thank you too, huh!"

She couldn’t help but feel a little annoyed- it felt like when she would find squirrels eating out of the bird feeder Lorina sometimes liked to set up. She laughed at the image as soon as she imagined it. She’s being stupid. Julius was allowed to have other friends- in fact, considering the things she’s seen, she should have been glad Julius had more friends than just her, who’s only shown up very recently and may not be in his world much longer. What was she, defensive of her status as Julius' singular friend?

Well... she had to admit, there was sort of a pride in thinking she had the Clockmaker all to herself. Like when she’d visit a friend back home and they’d say “My cat hates everybody, but here he is on your lap! Wow!”

"I'm surprised you're on such good terms with another territory's Roleholder," she mused. "Is it because he's neutral?"

"I'm on good terms with him because I like him," Ace said. Friendly enough, but she felt his grip on her arm tighten. "I don't really care where he's from. Same as you, I guess!"

"Um," Alice said. Most things she could say would probably get her in trouble, one way or another. He smiled that smile at her again.

"Don't worry, Alice. An outsider like you doesn't need to worry about taking sides. Love who you love!"

Love? Love?? She wouldn't go that far!

"You’re all red," Ace teased. "You liiiiike him?"

Look at the time. It was already roughly-shove-Ace-off-of-her o’clock, yes! He giggled and took her hand in his, instead. She thought about Julius and began to wonder how in the world Julius could possibly be friends with this guy.

“You wanna kiss him?!”

"I don’t-"

He swung their entwined hands, ever-cheerful. She tried to pull away, but he had too firm a grip.

"Oh, okay. Yeah, a lot of people think he's not the best looking, or his job is too creepy- I mean, no judgement if you were into him, of course! I would be so happy for him! But, what was I saying? Oh, yeah, if you find him ugly that's not really something someone can convince you otherwise about-"

"I didn't say he's ugly! Stop putting words in my mouth."

"I just meant to say I wouldn’t judge you for it! Lots of people find him unattractive."

"I never said anything like that!"

"Ohhhhh, sorry, sorry, I see, so you are attracted to him, but you don't like him romantically."

He wasn’t dumb, Alice realized with horror. He has never been dumb. He was messing with her, and every previous time she's given him a pass for being annoying cuz he's dumb he was actually also messing with her - and ugh, he was stronger than her, too, and he still wouldn’t let go of her hand.

"I'm right, aren't I?" said Ace, wrongly.

Whatever her feelings for Julius were- and she had an awful creeping suspicion of what they might be- she was not going to figure them out here, in front of a box of apples, in public, with an annoying knight who had only right that moment finally let go of her hand.

"You're wrong. Shut up."

"You just need to tell him how you feel," Ace said, and pushed a fuzzy teddy bear into her arms. There was a pile of them next to the registers. They had a bouquet of roses and a little blank card, one in each paw.

Oh god no, thought Alice. No no never no do you even know how embarrassing that is-

"Cmon, Alice, you know how Julius is. We both know he’ll never realize you’re in love with him if you don’t tell him directly.”

"There's nothing to tell-"

"And if you're too embarassed to go face to face, that’s why you’d write-"

"I'm not writing any-"

"You could say something like “Dear Julius, your hair is so pretty, I have a huge crush on you, let’s kiss, all my love, Ali-"

THWACK.

Primal instincts kicked in. She smacked him with the bear, hard as its squishy fuzzitude would allow.

That finally, thankfully, shut him up.

"That was a strong hit! It’s a good thing I’m used to getting hurt while fighting!” he said, rubbing his upper arm. She placed the bear back in the display, but he called out after her.

"Wait, you can't just put broken merchandise back on the shelf, can you? It doesn’t seem very nice..."

She hadn’t realized the poor little leg she had held it by to commit violence now dangled by a string. Stuffing was spilled across the floor.

So they were stuck with this bear, now.

Julius seems content to put the bear in the garbage and the matter from his mind after a little while, and Alice is more than happy to let it go. He works at a calmer pace and she actually begins to stop panicking and absorb a few words of her book.

Stupid of her to expect any other reaction from him- but she can beat herself up for it later, not now when Julius might ask her what's wrong. He's gotten pretty good at that. It doesn’t come naturally to him, it's something she’s watched him pick up slowly over the course of their growing friendship- You look upset, are you feeling bad? You can tell me about what’s bothering you as I work, and I’ll make sure to listen even if I don’t talk. It's deliberate in a way that makes Alice feel... whatever that emotion she feels about him sometimes is. She glances at the fuzzy ear poking above the lip of the garbage can. She looks away.

“You never mentioned you knew Ace,” she says before she can stop herself. Julius jumps like he’s been caught doing something wrong.

“You know him?”

“I work with him. I didn’t speak much with him until recently, though. We both tried to visit you and bumped into each other, but you weren’t home, so...”

She is about to say “So we gave you what we brought and left”, but the bear was one of those objects. Best not to do that math for him.

“Oh.”

Julius fixes another two clocks before he speaks again.

“I was just... worried.”

“About what?”

He leaves her to her own worries and does not answer.

So there they sat, on a bench outside the grocery, considering the bear.

"I’ll need to fix it, of course."

"It'll fix itself, won't it?" Ace shrugged.

She could just hit him.

“Then why the fuck did you say-”

It’s her fault, she’s the one still unused to living with things self-repairing.

"Suit yourself", he shrugged, and handed her a needle and thread from his pocket (A knight needs to be prepared for anything!, though she noted his own coat had been torn so many times the world itself seemed to have assumed he wants it like that on purpose and given up on all repair).

Whatever.

She’s nearly made it. The time period changes and wouldn’t you know it she has work coming up soon and really must be getting back, and then by next visit the garbage will have been tossed and he’ll never know and things will be normal and fine forever.

"I can’t believe you didn’t leave earlier,” Julius says as he walks her to the door of his office. "The way I was acting..."

“Don’t worry.” It was her fault. (Partially).

“No, I’m sorry I was in such a bad mood." He adds with a pained smile, "You can see why the only love letters I’m getting are from people like that."

“Oh, you read our love letter?” Ace’s voice calls out behind them.

Alice whirls around, face hot. Leave it to him. At the very last second, unexpectedly-

Something changes in Julius’ face.

“Both of yours?”

“Yeah, we wrote it together,” Ace says. Alice could be confused for a new Mouse, the way she squeaks.

“Don’t get Alice involved with your schemes.” Julius steps in front of her more protectively than she deserves.

“You need to lighten up! Telling your friend you love him isn’t a "scheme", Julius....”

If she’d just thought about how Julius would react this wouldn’t have happened. If she hadn’t panicked when Ace confidently said he’d just write his own love letter.

If she hadn’t done things by halves, if she’d either not written at all or put her name to it.

If she wasn’t selfish enough to think that telling Julius how she felt from a safe distance was more important than how it’d make him feel-

“Julius, I’m so, so sor-”

“It was her idea, though?” Ace says.

She could just kill that knight.

Julius doesn’t look at her.

“You’ll have to tell Ace what I said about it yourself. I’m not doing that whole performance again.”

“It was not!” She at least has to set the record straight on that. “I just said we should leave it anonymous because-”

“I get it, I get it.” Julius holds up a hand. “It’s only a made up person who’d like me. It’s the kind of joke I’d expect from Ace, but not...”

“What?! No! We didn’t mean it like that at all!” Well, she didn’t. “Did you, Ace?”

“I did kind of expect him to take it that way,” Ace shrugs. “Julius can be a little gloomy like that sometimes!”

Alice runs across the hallway and smacks him mid-aaaahahahhahah!!

She thinks, if she’s not mistaken, she hears Julius laugh.

“He’s not used to people sincerely saying they like him,” Ace whispers to her. He was unfazed by the hit. “I’ve tried telling him before and he just rolls his eyes, thinks I’m pulling his leg. No self esteem, poor thing...”

So, she’s kind of stuck now, isn’t she?

“It’s real, okay?!” she yells down the hall to Julius. Her face must be as bright red as Ace’s coat. “I meant everything I wrote, I just got too embarassed, and Ace was already writing in it, so we compromised and...”

Julius looks stunned. Doesn’t say anything, just looks back and forth between the two of them. Then he sprints back into his office at high speed and slams the door.

Ace nudges Alice and winks. Alice frowns at him. Ace nudges her again and gives her a thumbs up, which she returns with a much ruder finger. Julius, after a while, pokes his head out.

“You’re blushing!”, Ace says.

He ignores that.

“I still think you should’ve sent chocolate instead. That’s my final word on the matter.”

“But I see you put it on your desk,” Ace coos. “Alice, look at his desk, it’s our fuzzy little baby-”

The door slams shut again.

Dear Julius,

I’m from the Castle of Hearts. I've brought you a few clocks to repair on occasion. Sometimes, I even bring them on behalf of other people, so I can see you more often. I always feel better when I see you.

Don’t worry about being depressed or gloomy! I like that you don’t go places much! I feel so secure knowing that when I visit, there you’ll be. But, I still want to take you places myself, sometime. I bet I could make you like fresh air.

From here, the handwriting changed:

I know not everyone thinks the way I do. It makes me really sad when I see how most people treat you, and when I hear what people say about you. I wish I could make everyone understand what a kind person you really are deep inside. I can’t yet fully describe how you make me feel, but I do know I love spending time with you.

This line was crossed out and barely legible:

When I know for sure, I want to tell you. Is it stupid to think you might

And then signed,

-Your secret admirer.

In the first handwriting, again:

PS sometimes when I hand over clocks our hands touch and

(The sentence cuts off, as if someone suddenly grabbed the pen from the writer’s hand.)

#hnkna #hnkna valentines 23 #OKIE im gonna stop poking at this fic and just POST IT.#immediately after this if we follow route events alice finds the ring #and has even more stupid worries to wrry about. lol

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chellyfishing · 11 months ago

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ho ho holy shit it’s the end of the year and that means it’s time for you guessed it my reading year in review.

instead of “read more than last year” my goal this year was “read at least one non-fiction book” and not only did i do that, not only did i read FOUR of them, i still also read more than last year!

(btw i am on storygraph if any of you are also on storygraph)

in january i read that there uh locked tomb series by tamsyn muir. thinking that it was a trilogy and then finding out no i actually have to suffer like the peasants for the conclusion. anyway it was fine and definitely hasn’t taken up at least 40% of my brain at all times ever since. it’s a very normal series i had a normal reaction to and you should read it, it’ll be fine.

i also read volumes 7 and 8 of spy x family by endo tatsuya. 7 is around where the anime stops and i watched it at the end of last year so. i finally just picked up 9 and 10 but i’m saving them as treat for surviving to the new year. anyway it’s good. i generally avoid graphic formats because my brain is just not good at processing images properly, especially when it’s all in black and white, but this was pretty easy for me to read. it’s a good time, recommend.

in february i read witchlings by claribel ortega. this is a middle grade book so the depth and style aren’t exactly for me, but it was very very cute and fun, with a diverse and lovable cast, and i would definitely recommend this to kids age idk 7-ish to 12-ish. that genre of child. a good magical book series to read instead of. you know. i’d be interested to continue the series as well, i think especially if ortega has the books mature with the readership she could really have something special here.

confession i really like to listen to people tell me stories (horrorbabble my beloved) and since i finally got a new library card this year (two actually now!) i can just get audiobooks and listen to them whenever i want. so in april first i listened to we have always lived in the castle by shirley jackson, which as you may or may not know is one of my favorite books of all time. i wanted to experience the story again and i didn’t want to just watch the film (it’s fine, honestly, it just lacks a lot of what i find really captivating about the book) so i put this on while i was doing other things. great book, great author, and i have no complaints whatsoever with the audiobook performance.

i also listened to james and the giant peach. this is my favorite roald dahl book and the audiobook is only about three hours. the narrator had incredible energy, exactly what you’d want from someone reading a children’s book.

in june i read the first nonfiction book, sex ed by ruby rare. this is a very accessible and inclusive book about… no. i shan’t say. everything is spoken about in frank terms and rare has a very personable voice and style. it’s also illustrated!

my next nonfiction book was in august, when i finally got to read i’m glad my mom died by jennette mccurdy. you probably don’t need me to tell you that this book is SO!! GOOD!! an incredible and important piece of art. jennette is so heartbreakingly honest and real here. i spent the whole book just wanting this child, then woman, to be okay. i am so happy she has turned the page on a new chapter in her life and has been able both to follow her real dreams of writing and gain some catharsis in the process. trigger warnings especially for abuse, including sexual abuse, including to a child, including by a parent, and eating disorders. she does not shy away from the ugliness of her experiences so please be prepared for that. it is very heavy at points.

after i finished that book i was just skimming through libby even though i already own [redacted] unread books and anyway on a whim i picked up a book called a door in the dark by scott reintgen. i decided to give it a shot because the main complaints were slow first half (that’s fine) and “unlikeable main character” (a woman with questionable morality). it was pretty good! the high point for me was the main character, in fact. i don’t really want to spoil anything so i won’t go into details but it definitely toys with your expectations in ways i appreciate. looking forward to more in the series!

i finished out august with they were here before us by eric larocca. this is only my second book by larocca (you’ve lost a lot of blood was my last book of 2022) but honestly i already knew i would read anything by them. this book is kind of a collection of short stories but they all have a theme that ties them together and are meant to be read in order. i love his prose, I love his weird imagination and imagery. this is exactly the kind of “unsettling and weird” that i will eat up. easily a new favorite author of mine. (their books are not for everyone, i hasten to add. they are very much for certain tastes. warnings in this book for some mild body horror as well as animal and child death.)

oh just kidding i forgot i read two books that day. the real last book i read in august was after they came by tom kavanagh. it is not a plot twist that this is a story about someone (a teenage girl specifically) living with paranoid schizophrenia, which i believe kavanagh also has. it’s clear this is a very personal story to him, and the horror comes not from the delusions or behavior this girl is having but from knowing she is trapped in them, scared and effectively alone. it’s very heartfelt.

in september i read a couple of shorter works. the first one was “undercover” by tamsyn muir, which is part of amazon’s “into shadow” series of short horror stories. being only about sixty pages this is nowhere near the ballpark of locked tomb’s twisting density but it still really draws you in. it’s a good time.

the other was the novella sour candy by kealan burke patrick. let me start off by saying! this is a grim one. there’s no real catharsis here. it’s just down, down, oh look we can go even further down. i guess it’s not my preferred type of horror, but it was still a good read.

in september i also read a full-length novel, sawkill girls by claire legrand. this is unfortunately my “worst book” of the year but even then it’s completely relative, most of the rest of my reading was bangers. i guess it’s not really what i was hoping it would be. it went places i thought were a bit… idk. i don’t want to say silly, exactly, but it didn’t quite work for me. i think that’s it really, it just wasn’t what i wanted, and what it was wasn’t really for me. important tho: there is sapphic rep and ace rep in here, asexuality in particular being addressed by name, so if you want more of those things, you could do a lot worse than this.

my third nonfiction read was in november and it was the woman in me by britney spears. i decided to crack this open and hopefully read it over the last couple days before my library hold ran out and i ended up devouring it in one sitting instead. like the other memoir on this list, this is a tough read. you will get angry, you will get furious, you will get sad. most people do not come out of this looking good at all and i am so glad brit and her ghostwriter decided to pull no punches. again check the trigger warnings, there’s a lot of abuse of a person with mental illness here, including forced institutionalization and of course the extremely unethical conservatorship. there’s also discussion of an abortion that was difficult and not especially wanted. i’m so so so so glad that she is free to live her life and speak her truth and i hope she gets to live happily with her boys and her man forever.

another book i read in one sitting was exit, pursued by a bear by ek johnston. i found this awhile back when i was looking for modern shakespeare retellings, specifically for one of a midsummer night’s dream, though as you can probably guess from the title this is actually inspired by the winter’s tale. so, there’s no getting around that this book is about sexual assault. it’s very blunt and frank about it, though the assault is not described, only the events leading up and the aftermath. weirdly, i would describe this as something of a slice of life more than a “message” book. this is the story of a seventeen-year-old girl getting on with her life after being drugged and raped. it’s primarily about her recovery especially through her relationships with friends, family, and others. it contains episodes of her triggers (the song that was playing just before she blacked out being a big one) but is primarily about her fighting desperately with everything she has not to let it dictate her life. warnings aside from sexual assault include discussions of forced pregnancy and abortion.

so, i’ve been wanting to read katzenjammer by francesca zappia for quite awhile now, but the price will not drop and the library down the street doesn’t have it. but then i got a card at another branch and voilà! let me warn you now that this is a sad book. it does not have a happy ending. i was warned it was sad going in and i was still not prepared to be absolutely gutted on a spit by it. i figured out what was going on about a fifth of the way from the end and just. cried from that point on. bawled my eyes out. might cry again now. so good, for the record, zappia has an undeniable way with prose and imagery, and there are sketched drawings throughout to shape her vision. i cannot give proper content warnings without dropping a major spoiler, so it will be up to you to decide how you need to approach this book if you want to. i will say that it is NOT sexual assault, though there is quite a bit of bullying that at points can feel a bit threatening in that regard, if that makes sense. i recommend it if idk you have tastes similar to mine (again, i did love it) and are willing to just be really fucking sad for a few hours.

i got a couple more library books in december. the first was my fourth and final nonfiction book of the year, another memoir, counting the cost, by jill duggar (dillard), her husband derick, and a credited professional writer, craig borlase. i have way too many words that i feel should be said about this book for one bullet point. i think it’s important to remember that jill and derick are still conservatives with some toxic and very harmful values, but jill has done incredible work deconstructing and derick has been a phenomenal husband to her. this book feels… unfinished though. it’s clear there’s still a lot that jill has not come to terms with. i hope that she can continue to grow and find peace. and i hope that others who are escaping fundamentalism can feel seen by this.

i took a break from my other library book (below) bc i just really wanted something i knew would be light and fun and easy to read, so i turned to ship wrecked by olivia dade. this is the third book in a series, the first two of which (spoiler alert and all the feels) i read last year. each one is about a couple with one (or two in this case) actors from a fictional show that is… i mean it’s game of thrones but make it greek myth. she doesn’t even try to hide it, it’s game of thrones. the thing that drew me to the series, aside from the fact that it just sounded like fun, is that all the main ladies (and in this case the man as well) are fat. as for this book, i think it’s probably my least favorite of the three. the fmc maria is pretty great but the mmc peter is easily my least favorite of the three male leads. dade doesn’t write toxic men, let me add, and all three books are dual pov so you really get to know both characters, but he just wasn’t it for me. i wish that the other characters got more screen time, especially since the books are not that short, but dade prefers to really dig into the psyches of her leads, unpacking their baggage and traumas to build healthy relationships, and i do appreciate that. downside is that there is not much diversity, other than her three ladies are each different kinds of fat (and don’t get me wrong, i love that and want to see more of it). this book has a lot of background queerness though so that was nice to see. i wonder if she intends to write a book about the wlw couple from the show, but i don’t know since afaik neither of those ladies are plus size. i’d read it, or really anything else she decides to do with this world.

the other library book i read from this batch was leech by hiron ennes. people describe this as a weird book but honestly if anything it could have been weirder. i went in without knowing a thing about it besides, like, taz blurbed it shut UP i doNOT HAVE a proBLEM. quick sketch this takes place in a very post-apocalyptic world and is about a doctor going to a remote isolated northern region during winter. yep, that’s all that it’s about. content warnings for body horror, both of the icky kind and the psychological kind, miscarriages, infant/child death, violence, and discussions of grooming and sexual abuse. it’s not really about those things (except the body horror) and when it comes up it’s generally less than a page at a time, but like. it’s all there and you should be careful. i would say it’s more about identity and autonomy and what it costs to break free. and body horror.

i read the burglar in the closet by lawrence block. i came across this book because one of my booktubers put it on his best of 2023 list and it sounded fun. and it was! it’s actually from 1978 and the second book in a series but i didn’t read the first book and was fine. there’s quite a bit of sexism but the amount and the framing of it didn’t make it impossible to enjoy this book. the narrator has such a strong voice and there are some genuine laughs to be had. plus, the ending surprised me! it was well-crafted! it’s a quick read and i’m pleased i took a little detour through it.

and the last book i’ll probably finish in 2023 (who knows!) is maeve fly by cj leede. i literally just now finished it and have to sit with it before i give it a proper rating and all that. there were times i wasn’t sure how i felt about this book. the narrator has such strong nlog edgelord energy but in her defense, she is literally a serial killer (i don’t think this is a spoiler tho it does take her a minute to say on page that she has killed). there are a lot of lines that had me rolling my eyes a bit, mostly because they were always the lines that were marked as frequently highlighted, like yeah, predictable. but there are also a lot of moments of genuinely beautiful prose, and a kind of macabre humor over it all. things really go off the rails in the last 20-25% or so but that was definitely my favorite part. technically i’ve seen this book classed as on the milder end of extreme horror, basically just be aware that there is a lot of very, very graphic violence. but the thing is, i read this book primarily as a metaphor, tho i’m not sure how much the author meant it as one. the ending makes me think perhaps she did. and honestly, framing it that way, maeve is actually… painfully relatable. why do i feel like i just got put on a watchlist somewhere. uhh, i could go on about it a lot, but you don’t care, you don’t intend to read this book. plus it’s more important that i mention that this book takes place in los angeles, except the parts that are in anaheim, because maeve plays princess E— at D— (never named but not at all obfuscated). the author does treat anaheim like it’s part of LA and i KNOW I KNOW it doesn’t matter TO YOU but the main thing i kept thinking was, wow i bet that commute is a bitch. i actually really liked the D— stuff because it’s all a bit inside baseball, employees and anaheim residents will capital K Know. there were also some really great descriptions of LA, and it just was nice to read someone put to words what the actual appeal of living around here is. it’s difficult to explain because people always come in with so many preconceived notions. as mandy moore put it, it’s a city of open doors. (lmao i just saw grady hendrix blurbed this as “anaheim psycho.” chef’s kiss.)

anyway i could easily finish something else if i set my mind to it but i kinda wanna maybe crack into something a bit longer. those last two were both under 300 pages, and even leech is not that much over it. or maybe i’ll just let myself disappear into bg3 until the new year.

#no books in march bc i was playing resi4 #or october bc i was playing bg3 #or july bc i was depressed #deep thoughts

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handmemyglockenspiel-imgoingin · 1 year ago

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No hate at all to any fans of the movie

BUT this is my first time seeing Coppola's Dracula and I am d y i n g so writing these random little notes is all I can do to cope

Disclaimer: This is not a review, this is not constructive criticism, this is me clinging to sanity by my notes app and laughing through the pain, commentary is all in good fun

[Bestie, if you're seeing this, don't read it, there are lots of spoilers. Yes, you. Hi! Ily <3]

uhh spoilers, language, and general ranting warning let's goooo

Wooooooo backstory

Everything is happening soveryfast and I don't quite like it. Slow burn whomst

They really kicked in with the intensely ominous background music early

Not Drac ranting to Jonathan about his oh-so-great family history on NIGHT ONE (this was so funny though)

I missed the part where he threw the mirror out the window :'(

"Foul bauble of man's vanity" bitch have you seen yourself? Well- actually no, but

"Maybe you should grow a beard" oh?? kinda gay

They quote the book word for word so often, but the characters are just - not- themselves

Keanu Reeves Jonathan has no survival instincts. 0/10 would not survive the paprika.

That was a clawed-ass hand that patted you on the shoulder just now, bro!!

They really went "hey what if sweet, kind, loving Lucy "I shouldn't say such things" Westenra was an absolute sex fiend!" and ran that into the ground

And my Mina, poor Mina

The way the juggled the proposal scenes-

Ah, yes, the 1890's nightgown!

Also why they gotta make Lucy sound like that

My poor girl

The way Art, Jack & Quincy see her suffering and go "oof" while they just kinda watch from a distance

like idk you should probably call a doctor or somethin' bro

I don't wanna talk about the vampiresses

[I'm currently typing to distract myself from the Drac/Mina happening on screen because I simply cannot]

[now she's?? hitting him? loves him? why not]

[MINA NO]

"Hey what if Mina cheated on her lame-ass unfaithful husband with some fucking old guy! No, it's hot! Look! He drinks blood!! Yum!"

"Perhaps I am a bad, inconstant woman" Mina NO

Why did they throw such a beautiful romance out the castle window like that

Quincy "Sounds like a goddamm witch doctor to me" Morris

Wrong cowboy but I'll take him

also What the FUCK, Van Helsing??

"Whore of darkness" I am so mad. "She is the devil's concubine" stfu

Whoever wrote Lucy like that needs to apologize to Ms. Westenra right now

Lucy being brutally murdered while the newly unhappily wedded Harkers make out in a church is also a no

"I just wanna cut off her head and take out her heart" SIR

I do love how absolutely unhinged Van Helsing's dialogue is for him to sound so casual

Jon's just... so very Keanu

"Gentlemen, must we desecrate poor Lucy's grave? She died horribly enough." Arthur's tone delivery got me on that one

Where is the Suitor Squad camaraderie?? The bromance?? The love???

I expected my boys to be forgotten and instead we got some assholes with their names

ARTHUR HAS A GUN TO VAN HELSING'S HEAD. IN WHAT WORLD-

Arthur's mustache is the only Arthur thing about him

THE WAY SHE DROPPED THAT BABY

Oof

Ah, cockblocking with the crucifix, classic Van Helsing

WHAT THE FUCK VAN HELSING, redux

"During your infidelity to those creatures" MY JONATHAN WOULD NEVER

Those grey streaks don't make up for what you did to my boy

Oh, how could I forget the atrocities they committed against Renfield

"It seems I've been rather naughty" hwhshshsh Renfield. Baby. Stop talking.

Mina is not trying to seduce Van Helsing right now. If I don't look it's not happening.

"You are whores of satan" that's not very nice, Van Helsing

Is Mina... practicing- witchcraft? Aight

Mina has a gun on Jonathan, what a turn of events

I- noooo

...that. Uh. Was that. Huh.

#documenting my first time watching this to cope #Winona Ryder was still very badass as Mina #and the actors are all fantastic #but I...#this just wasn't it for me #I love these characters too much and it hurt to see them like this #but anyway #I don't really enjoy complaining but I just wanted to ramble a little so I didn't annoy anyone with it irl instead #So uh... yeah #Read Dracula! 👍#If you want #I'm not your mum #justice for the harkers

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smireyac · 2 years ago

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new year, same post

so... 2022 huh?

i didn't even write a reflection post last year (well i tried but i never finished writing it) which i'm kinda really sad about because i really like having these snapshots of where i am at in my life every year... and i feel like i'm missing a year! because i am! so while i can't do a whole reflection of 2021, i can do my best and that's the best anyone can do

so 2021 was the start, crawling out of the hellscape that was 2020... in terms of overall quality, 2021 was a major improvement from the previous year. to make things easier, first i'll go thru what i actually accomplished on my list of goals i made at the end of 2020:

☑️ read new books: my goal was 10 and i read 8, three of which were comics/graphic novels and one was a road trip guide book? so technically i read more than before

☑️ watch new shows/movies: i made a letterboxd to keep track of what i watched instead of the notebook idea i had and i watched 48 movies/tv shows !!! wowie that's pretty good i never counted that out b4 :D

☑️ listen to new music: my spotify wrapped had very much different music than previous years so i did the dang thing too ...it uh... got flooded by OM music cuz i had a phase in the summer but other than that its all pretty diverse !

☑️ eat new food: i had kbbq for the first time in 2021 so i think that counts?

☑️ go on a road trip/visit some place ive never been before/go to a club: so i planned a pretty spontaneous trip to LA cuz i saw an ad on Instagram for a city pop night at a club in DTLA... i thought it was a rare thing (turns out it ain't lol) so i got my friends to go and it was really fun and i knocked these 3 things out in one go (tho the road trip one is a little ehh bc we didn't make any stops, we just drove ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) bc i've never been to little tokyo and it was in a club! so check!!

so as far as goals go that's pretty good! other notable highlights of the year include:

⭐ i passed my drivers test (after failing the first time lol) and got a car that i love so dang much!

⭐ tried dating (the first time) and it didn't get far lol (that's on me)

⭐ karaoke night after not seeing people in person for over a year

⭐ played d&d in-person again finally

⭐ HELLA MEGA TOUR!! THAT WAS TIGHT AF 10/10 would recommend

⭐ saw lindsay and kaveh at a book signing event that was pretty cool !! (still have to read the book lol;;)

so yeah ! it was pretty great, all things considered... i think around this time last year covid cases were surging and things were feeling bad again so my perspective of the year was tainted by that cloud but looking back, i think i had a pretty good run...

i had made another, separate doc as a kinda goal list ? but i never finished it either lmao but i did put 3 things on it:

🌠 read more (surprise surprise)

🌠 write something

🌠 join a club at school

i said 2021 would be the year of new and i think i accomplished that

SO 2022 HUH??

thats what this whole thing was supposed to be about lol

lotta stuff happened... started off strong by getting covid (lol), went to big bear for the first time, technically saw snow (on the ground) for the first time, saw remi TWICE in ONE YEAR, tried dating again (still didn't get very far), saw ORI AGAIN FINALLY, hung out with pals A LOT, ate good food, got really (back) into comics this year??, worked full time at the library this summer, got over my stupid crush FINALLY, went to 3 conventions - 1 of which being COMIC CON... anD OH YEAH I GOT PROMOTED!! pretty accomplished i would say

as far as my goals from last year i actually accomplished something!! and hey 2 outta 3 ain't bad ;^)

i reached my reading goal with 13/12 !! granted 5 of them were graphic novels again but i stuck with my book club (kinda;;) and read some stuff!! i started a lot more books than i finished this year but i want to push myself harder next year (this year)!! my want-to-read list on GoodReads is 500+ and that hasn't even been updated recently!! i gotta step my game up man,, i think i decided i want to try to be an editor someday so i gotta go for it!!

did i write something this year??? in fact i fucking did!! i wrote fanfiction even!! something i srsly never thought i would actually accomplish... and i started a first real draft for J+M and got thru most of the first "season" of that!! so that's cool!! i wanna write more!! i found this writing tracker like halfway thru the year and was trying to add to it retroactively but it was hard so i don't know exactly how many words i wrote this year BUT it's more than 40k!! so WOW!! I'll keep better track this year so we can know fr fr

if 2021 was the year trying new things, 2022 seemed to be the year of getting used to the new normal bc surprise!! covid is still around!! but ig it'll be endemic now instead of a pandemic bc we couldn't fucking eradicate it 🙄 whatever...

the last couple months of 2022 kinda painted the whole year a somber color but looking back, i can see that i had a really good time for the most part... i hope 2023 will be nice :^)

SO... GOALS:

🎆 read more!! let's keep the ball rolling! 12 more!! once a month!!! and i'm not gonna add comics unless i've read a real book with words first!!!!

🎆 write more!! no goals let's just see what happens :^) i hope that maybe some fandom interaction will motivate me bc i love attention and praise!!! also my secret writing project 👀

🎆 apply to transfer to university next year!! this was supposed to happen this year but... shit happened yk

🎆 do stuff with friends!! gotta keep it up bb: NYC, hot springs, see snow, MKE??, LA

🎆 make new friends?? perhaps??? 👀 idk!!!

i will end this post with all the movies i'm super fucking pumped to see this year: M3GAN, the mario movie, the D&D movie, the BARBIE movie!!, new transformers movie??, blue beetle movie, SPIDERVERSE MOVIE!!!!!!!!!

it'll be a good year for me for movies ❤️

here's to 2023!! 🥂

#omg i talk #happy new year

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nysus-temple · 2 years ago

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Hi everyone, i'm back with my bullshit. Thanks specially to @margaretartstuff for giving me this idea.

Time to disappoint you all with my 7 ( 6 actually- ) different editions ( or versions- ) of the Odyssey, each one worse than the last because i got most of them when i was like 10 years old ! The good old days were i didn't have to worry about being a functional adult. Anyways.

1. ) This one for some reason includes the Homeric Hymns as well:

i remember buying it ONLY because in the one i already owned had Odysseus named "Ulysses" and i was going through a phase in which i was picky about it. Well i don't think i ever left that phase, let's be real 🥲

it's a good one, i like this one a lot, since as i said it includes other things as well.

The translation is good in general as well ( i mean they wrote "Helio(s)" instead of Sun, but that's up to the translator after all ), the verses have numbers as well and they didn't erase any part from it.

2. ) Oh this one, i have mixed feelings about this one:

The book is SO PRETTY and the translation is pretty nice as well, but uh, it includes that one "Penelope's Version" that Margaret Atwood wrote that is a big nono for me, it's one of those "feminist" retellings that WHAT A SURPRISE keep calling Helen a w/hore, but oh well.

It has some pretty drawings, they're funny more than anything else, but it calls Odysseus "Ulysses" so yeh, haven't read this version on a long time.

3. ) THIS IS— A MANGA—:

I've seen some people around here talking about it before sksnsk it's pretty, it's fun, but it's VERY short and i hate it.

It also, for example, include stuff that wasn't in the Iliad and lacks stuff that was in the Odyssey, like the Circe and the Sirens episode. I mean it is supposed to be summarized, but i wished it was longer, i'll find a newer comic someday...

Sooomedaay...

LOOK AT THESE ODYSSEUS AND PENELOPE !!

My main complain is the lack of, well, you know the drill, Minoan fashion, but wellp.

4. ) This is the one i use when i read the Odyssey out loud to little kids, literally:

It's very, VERY goofy. The drawings are just very cute to me and i can't help but laugh whenever i take a loot at it.

It's not perfect, i mainly use it as i said when i'm reciting the poem outloud, but look at that Helios

Look at that yellow dude with the rays of the sun as his moustache

i mean it does some stuff that did make me go "ehh" like saying "Helios, the god of the Sun" when Helios literally means sun, but not everyone knows that ( i think? ) so maybe that's the reason behind it.

And yes i'm aware that Odysseus is called Ulysses, welcome to Spain, most of the translations have that name and, well, you know, Hispania roots and all that.

5. ) MY FAVOURITE !!!

This. This thing right here. I love it with all my heart. It has illustrations that are either vase paintings, or mosaics, or more later-on paintings. The only complain i have is that the painting used for the sirens depicts them as mermaids- but oh well, they're called the same in Spanish so what am i gonna do about it 🥲

My personal favourites are these !! A couple of them sre actually very well-known:

Had to put them together due to Tumblr's limit of pictures. Sorry that they're kind of blurry, the pages are made of *that* paper.

I've read this edition multiple times and i still don't get tired of it, it's probably not the best one since i'm looking at it with the lens of a ξένο κορίτσι, not a Greek, so maybe if one had a look at it, it isn't that good, who knows.

6. ) Now, uh, yeh— a thing—:

Sometimes i forget the fact that the author is Italian.

This is a version for children aaaaandddd...

I mean- what else am i supposed to say about this version, i got it when i was 8, thanks to it Odysseus became the first and favourite Greek hero for me.

Is this cringy? Sorry about it 🥲

7. ) The seventh one is an old PDF document that i had to read when i first started learning Greek. It still has my notes and people don't like my handwriting much, so i'm leaving this here.

Hope you had fun ! And hope that you laughed at me, that one girl that knows the whole Odyssey by heart.

No i'm not ok.

#this was fun and. at the same time. self concerning.#imagine being Greek and finding out that some Spanish woman has a weird obsession #with a poem related to your culture #i would freak out #also TUMBLR isn't letting me post this #and i'm going insane #the odyssey #odyssey #not incorrect quotes

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mypoisonedvine · 4 years ago

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Hungry Like The Wolf | soft!dark!Ari Levinson x reader

summary: when you need ari’s help for a secret mission with the CIA, he expects gratitude from you— and he wants a lot more than just a thank you card.

word count: nearly 6.5k

warnings: smut (dub con/coercion/sex as bartering tool), oral sex (f receiving) and vaginal sex, overstimulation, possessiveness/very very slight yandere vibes?, some violence and gun use, mentions of human trafficking/warfare, religious discussions and traditions but not particularly orthodox ones, vague discussions of sexism and misogyny with implied religious background, overall just lots of global politics and all that fun stuff

(a/n: I went ahead and wrote the hebrew and arabic in english lettering because tumblr doesn’t support right to left text so just a heads up. my arabic is very weak so I apologize if there are any errors.)

Taking a deep breath, you ran through your pitch in your head again. Sure, you’d had plenty of time to go over it on the plane, but one last recitation couldn’t hurt, right? Unable to stall any longer, you turned the knob and entered Ari Levinson’s office.

You’d heard he was good-looking but his appearance still surprised you; his long hair and thick beard made him look like he’d fit in with a rock band better than an intelligence agency, and his half-buttoned shirt put his Star of David necklace and muscled, hairy chest on display.

He must have caught your gaze trailing down because he smirked at you, making your cheeks feel a bit warm.

“Mr. Levinson,” you greeted as you looked up to his face again.

He greeted you as ‘Ms.’ instead of ‘Agent,�� but you let it slide since you were about to ask him for quite the favor. When he motioned for you to take a seat across from him, you did so with a nod and a quick smoothing of your skirt.

“So, what can I help you with?” he prompted.

This was the easy part; this was the part you’d rehearsed a thousand times. “There is a group of trafficked women and girls who have been rescued from all over— Saudi Arabia, Yemen, Kuwait— and gathered in Riyadh. We are working on a plan to move them to Cyprus and, eventually, Greece where they will be accepted into a camp there. Maybe they’ll end up in the States at some point, if we can swing it, but… Cyprus is step one.”

Ari nodded, listening to your story with more patience than anyone else had so far.

“As you can imagine, it would be a lot easier to move through Jordan and Israel and use your ports, rather than go around through Egypt or Syria…” He stared at you expectantly as you trailed off, and you cleared your throat before finishing: "The CIA would greatly appreciate Mossad's cooperation in the movement of these refugees."

"How much would they appreciate it?"

You paused, unsure what he meant. "Um, quite a lot, I'm sure…"

"I just mean that we have missions the CIA could be a useful assist for, too,” he clarified, interlacing his fingers and resting his hands on his lap. “You guys have a lot more resources than we do. If we help you out, is this going to be an allyship we can rely on?"

You swallowed dryly, pondering if there was a way to get out of this before you sighed and slumped down in your chair, leaning a little closer to him. "Alright, I have to be honest with you: it's not really the CIA that's asking for your help."

"Then who is?"

"Me. Just me. I'm the only one who believes in this mission; I'm the only one fighting for these people. The CIA won't help you because they won't even help me and I work for them."

He slumped his shoulders a little bit. "Then I'm not sure if I can afford to say yes to you."

"Please," you implored, "I know I can't offer you as much as they can, but I'll do whatever I can to make this work. Please," you repeated as you laid your hand over his, noticing the way his expression shifted a bit, "help me."

"I've been the one person fighting for a mission before," he remembered, voice a little softer. "I know how hard it is to go it alone."

You smiled gently at him.

"And, I know how far I would've gone to get my people to safety."

His hand flipped around suddenly and grabbed yours tightly, pulling you closer as you gasped.

"How far will you go?"

You shivered, the darkness in his eyes burning right through you even when you tried to look away. "Mr. Levinson, I—"

"Call me Ari," he instructed gruffly, grip tightening around your wrist until you yelped softly.

"Ari," you corrected, "I have money—"

"Don't want it."

"I can offer you my assistance in—"

"Don't need it."

"Tell me what you need,” you requested softly.

"I need to know you're gonna show me this 'great appreciation' you promised,” he answered quickly. “I need to know that if I take care of you, then you'll take care of me."

You gulped but nodded. "O-of course…"

"Good."

He released you from his grip and stood up, smiling at you like nothing had even happened.

"Pleasure doing business with you, madam."

You stood up and left his office in a haze, unsure if what had just happened was a dream or reality. But, sure enough, he showed up the next day where you’d told him to meet you, and brought some money and fake passports that you desperately needed. Frankly, just having a man around was going to make things smoother for you, even if it was a white man who didn’t exactly blend in by any stretch of the imagination. Seeing him again the next day only reminded you how big he was, tall but moreso heavy with muscle; he looked pretty cramped in his tiny coach seat on the plane to Dubai (your connecting stop where you’d spend the night before flying out to Riyadh).

“Bloody mary, please,” he requested from the stewardess with a gentle nod, turning to you.

“Uh, just water, thanks,” you ordered quickly with a tilted smile. You had brought a book to read, but Ari insisted on barraging you with personal questions about your job, your personal life, your favorite things— he seemed fascinated by the most mundane things, and disinterested in giving his own backstory.

Of course you considered that it wasn’t a great idea to tell him so much about yourself, let him in your head and under your skin. But then again, you’d put your trust in him enough for the mission, so you ought to trust him completely, right?

So why did his stare send shivers up your spine?

There was room for you and Ari at a CIA safehouse outside Dubai; it wasn’t exactly luxurious or anything, but at least you weren’t going to have to share a room… or a bed.

Normally staying in a safehouse meant sharing common areas with a random assortment of other agents, but it being a Friday night in Dubai meant they were all out enjoying the local nightlife while you two stayed in. Hoping to review a game plan for the mission with him, you found Ari’s door open, peeking around to see him on his knees on the floor, a candle burning before him, and his hands raised to cover his eyes and face.

“Shema Yisrael,” he sung to himself below his breath, “Adonai Eloheinu, Adonai Ehad…”

He jumped a little when he uncovered and opened his eyes only to find you standing there. “Shabbat Shalom,” you greeted.

“Shabbat Shalom,” he nodded back.

“I’m sorry you’re forced to take your Shabbat alone,” you apologized, “and that there’s nobody other than me to appreciate your vocal chops.”

His cheeks tinged pink at that. “It’s all part of the sacrifices we make for our missions, eh?”

“Then I suppose you don’t mind that you’ll be doing plenty of work tomorrow,” you presumed.

“You probably realized by now that I’m not actually so traditional,” he chuckled, extinguishing the candle and standing up. “I work on the sabbath quite a lot.”

“I hear work is permitted if it is needed to save a life.”

He smiled, but he looked a little sad; maybe not sad, but tired. “With me, it always is.”

The silence was thick as you tried to reconcile that this was the same man that had grabbed and threatened you— was it a threat? You couldn’t even tell anymore. Apparently he wasn’t going to take whatever it was that he wanted until you’d finished the mission, and that should’ve made it easier to procrastinate your worry, but the extra time to ponder what it was actually going to be only brought further anxiety.

Of course, you had an idea of what he was going to ask of you, but the fact that nothing too untoward had happened in his office when you first met him was throwing you off. In that moment, you were just waiting for him to tell you to get on your knees and show him how bad you wanted these women rescued, but he didn’t. Wouldn’t have been the first time somebody tried to bribe you into sex; it would’ve been the first time, however, that you actually considered doing it.

Now, the anticipation just made it worse; you were working with him every day and he always acted normal, as if there wasn’t this looming threat of whatever favor he was going to ask from you in return.

Once you actually got to work the next day, it was easier not to think about that. You barely had any extra brainpower to think about anything except survival and extraction. Still, each time you looked at him only to find him already looking at you, your hands shook a little.

“You’ve been driving for 10 hours, you’re sure you don’t want me to take the wheel?” you offered, watching him blink a few times to clear his vision.

“Not worth getting arrested,” he frowned.

“We’ll only get arrested if we get caught.”

“Not worth the risk of getting caught. And I don’t know about you, but if I get arrested here, I’ll probably be killed, too.”

You chewed your lip as you appreciated that it was probably worth avoiding as much trouble as possible. It’s not like the CIA was popular in these parts, either, and for good reason.

“What’s that up ahead?” he asked, leaning further forward against the steering wheel and squinting.

“Um,” you stalled as you unfolded the paper map in your lap, “I’m… not sure.”

“Looks like a barricade,” he announced, and it did; a gate with two guards and barbed wire on either side.

“There isn’t supposed to be a stop here,” you reminded him as you frantically shuffled around the map, making sure you were where you thought you were and that there wasn’t a mark indicating a vehicle stop on the road.

“What do we do?” he asked, looking around as if he was considering veering off the path even though that would be equally dangerous.

“There isn’t supposed to be a stop here,” you repeated, more anxiously.

“Well, there is,” he replied, his own agitation clearly increasing, “so we’ll have to go through it.”

“They’re going to pull us over.”

“Probably,” he admitted.

“And they will search the back of the truck.”

“I’d be surprised if they didn’t. How well do you think they’re gonna take it when they see eighty-something women packed like sardines?”

You chuckled a little even though you were anything but amused. “Um, not good.”

As the men at the stop waved to signal your car to slow down, Ari sighed a little. "I'll ask once again: what do we do?"

"Act natural," you suggested quickly as you lifted the scarf draped around your head to cover your nose and mouth.

Ari slowed down to a stop, lowering the window to talk to the officer outside and putting on a fake English accent. “How can I help you, sir?”

“Identification please,” he requested sternly. Ari smiled as he grabbed his and your passports, handing them over through the window. It was a long, awkward moment as he flipped through the thick papers slowly, his partner leaning down to look through your window but never taking his hands off his gun. “What brings you out here?” the man finally asked.

“My wife and I operate a restaurant in Jordan, and we get most of our equipment here because the workmanship is better,” Ari explained. “Just passing through with our new stoves and oven hood.”

The officer glanced back over your truck, his expression mostly unreadable but overall not necessarily friendly-looking. “Could you step out of the vehicle please?”

“Hal hdha daruri?” you asked quickly; Is this necessary?

“Alsamt,” he replied in a hiss; Silence.

Ari looked around like he was thinking but nodded and reached for the handle to his door. You did the same, the second guard stepping out of your way so you could swing open the rusted metal and step out.

The men guided for you to circle the car with them, stopping at the back and staring at the metal sliding door that was latched shut.

Turning to address Ari, the guard’s face dropped completely as he got a bit more serious. “What am I going to find in your vehicle?”

“Kitchen supplies, like I said,” Ari insisted.

As the officer reached for the latch on the back of the truck, Ari shot you a wide-eyed look and you gave him a quick nod. He lunged at the second guard, wrestling him for his gun while you went after the first, who was much easier to take down with him being distracted by trying to unlock the back of the truck. Your CIA instincts told you to shoot him once you’d grabbed his weapon, but thankfully you knocked him out with the butt of it instead.

Loud pops of gunfire beside you made you fear the worst, but Ari had managed to push the gun toward the sky before pulling it out of the officer’s grasp, swinging it wildly until it made contact with his head and he fell to the ground.

Gun in hand and panting heavily, Ari looked back at you with a grin. “That wasn’t so bad.”

“You almost got shot,” you reminded him.

“A little more than almost,” he corrected, showing you a gash where a bullet had grazed arm.

“Shit, Ari!” you yelped, running over to him and inspecting the wound. The way he looked down at you as you clutched him made you sort of regret it, though.

“It’s fine,” he assured you, but he made no effort to push you away.

“I… should check on the girls,” you decided, a little bit distracted but making your way back to the truck to roll up the metal back and examine the women inside, who looked scared at first but relaxed when they saw you.

“Kli shay' ealaa ma yaram,” you assured them that everything was fine, “nahn taqribaan 'iilaa al'urduni, wasawf nasil 'iilaa alsafinat allaylat.” We're almost to Jordan and will arrive at the ship tonight.

They relaxed a bit and smiled at you, a few muttered ‘shukraan jazilaan’s (meaning ‘thank you’) echoing from inside. You hated to shut the back and plunge them into darkness again, but they had assured you before that they would brave any conditions for a chance at freedom. You hoped they meant it.

“Please, let me drive, you’re injured,” you offered to Ari as he started to make his way toward the driver’s side door.

“It’s not even that bad, and we’ve had enough run-ins with the law today,” he dismissed.

“Then let me patch you up first, okay? Is that so terrible?”

He smiled a little. “No, I guess not.”

And that was how you ended up leaning on him in the passenger seat, supergluing his arm shut, trying not to think about how his bicep was probably bigger than your head.

“You’re a pretty good medic,” he observed, speaking quietly since you were so close.

“When you’re as clumsy as I am, you have to be,” you responded, sounding monotone due to focusing mostly on your work. “It shouldn’t scar too—”

You stopped when you looked up at him, because the way he was staring back down at you made you completely devoid of the ability to speak or even conjure words in your mind. You’d never seen him so close before and those piercing blue eyes made your head spin.

“What were you gonna say?” he asked softly,

“It… shouldn’t scar too bad,” you finished, “as long as you keep it clean and dry.”

“I generally aim to keep my entire body clean and dry,” Ari chuckled.

“Right, yeah, well— keep up the good work, then,” you stammered as you wrapped some gauze around his arm and rolled his sleeve back down over it.

“Let’s hit the road before we waste any more time,” he suggested, and with a nod you leaned back into your seat.

The radio blasting was the only thing keeping both of you awake as you drove through the dark. The border to Jordan was easy enough, and both of you sighed with relief as you crossed into Israel. It was by far the biggest blockade you’d seen so far, but of course, Ari got you in faster than you’d moved through anything else.

“Good to be home?” you asked when you saw Ari smiling as he looked around at the streetlights through the windshield.

“You could say that,” he answered. “Think we have time to stop for falafel before we get to the port?”

“Not unless you plan on buying for all your passengers,” you laughed, motioning toward the back. “If they have to wait until we reach the ship, so do we.”

“Yeah, that’s fair,” he relented. “Besides, probably better to be seen by as few people as possible. Even if we’re in friendly territory, it’s still a covert operation and all.”

“Wow, so you do have some desire to play by the rules,” you gasped in faux shock. He smiled and shrugged a bit.

“More like the rules and my desires occasionally overlap.”

It was past midnight when you pulled into the port, surrounded by ships so big that you couldn’t see the tops of them from inside the car. A cargo ship was waiting for you, along with some Navy men who helped you escort the women onto the vessel.

Since it wasn’t meant to accommodate this many people, the refugees occupied extra crew space while you and Ari were given sleeping bags in an unused office; you were so tired, though, that it actually looked enticing.

As soon as you’d set your pack down and shut the door, you heard a distant horn and felt the ship begin to move. You let out a long sigh as you leaned against the desk, watching Ari take a seat in the chair and start laughing exhaustedly.

“We did it,” you smiled, “we fucking did it.”

“We’ve still got a long boat ride ahead of us,” Ari mitigated, “but yeah… we should be in the clear, and tomorrow afternoon we’ll be in sunny Cyprus.”

You were so elated from the high of a successful mission that you forgot to worry about Ari’s vague request all those weeks ago; it was probably the first time you hadn’t thought about it since then, truthfully. That changed when his smile fell as he looked up at you, eyes darkening a little and scanning your body.

“You’re a great agent,” he nodded slowly, “and an incredible woman. You saved a lot of people tonight.”

You shifted nervously under the weight of his stare, but tried to hide your discomfort. “I… couldn’t have done it without you.”

“I know,” he informed you coldly, standing up and approaching you. “I think I’ve gone above and beyond on my end of our deal.”

A pit formed in your stomach, growing with each step he took towards you. His eyes stayed trained on you except for when he glanced to the side to flip on the radio, American music suddenly piping through the speakers.

— discord and rhyme, I’m on the hunt, I’m after you…

You looked to the radio as well but his hand gently guided your jaw until you looked back at him; he was closer than ever, and you had to look up to meet his gaze, shivering as he ran his thumb over your bottom lip slowly.

“Are you good for your end of the deal?” he asked lowly.

And I’m hungry like the wolf…

You swallowed, hoping it would somehow ease the ache in your gut as you realized what was about to happen, before nodding meekly.

He smirked a little. “Good girl,” he praised, only a bit louder than a whisper, as his hand moved to cradle your face. “You want me, don’t you?”

Your brow furrowed as you tried to figure out how you were supposed to answer that. “I want to repay you, for all you’ve done for me.”

“No, not just that,” he disagreed, “you want me. I know you do. You don’t need to hide it, we’re alone…”

Hesitant but catching on to his desires, you nodded a little.

“Say it.”

“I want you, Ari,” you whispered.

It felt like forever waiting for him to kiss you as he leaned in slowly, eyes half-lidded and dark but never leaving you. As his lips brushed against yours, you finally let your eyes flutter shut and reciprocated his kiss. His hands felt especially big as one slipped behind your neck and the other rested on your waist; in fact, with the way you had to crane your head up to kiss him back, all of him felt big. Including the part you were pretty sure just bumped against the inside of your thigh.

His kiss was soft and patient but determined, slow but somehow still moving faster than you were ready for. You gingerly reached up and rested your hands on his shoulders; they were strong and warm beneath your touch, even through his shirt. You couldn’t think of the last time you’d been kissed like this, or held so tenderly like this, but then again, you were also sure that nobody had scared you like this in a long time, either. For a woman who always knew what to do in a dangerous situation, you couldn’t seem to get a read on Ari Levinson— mostly because you didn’t truly believe he was dangerous. But maybe you should.

When his hands reached up to start unbuttoning your blouse, you pushed him back a little.

"N-not here," you protested, "someone could hear, or walk in."

"There's nowhere else to go, and I'm not waiting 'til Cyprus. I need you now."

He kissed you again before you could respond, more forceful and desperate. You let him work open your shirt this time, his fingers dancing over your skin as he pulled it off your shoulders and tossed it aside. The feeling of him working your bra open made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, but his tongue slipping into your mouth distracted you and before you knew it, it was gone as well. Your nipples hardened in the cold air— or maybe they’d been that way already, for whatever reason— but they reacted even stronger to his thick fingers gently pinching them as his palms cupped your breasts.

You gasped against his mouth a bit, your breathing getting heavier as he moved his hands down to your trousers. The idea of being naked when he was still fully-dressed scared you, but you didn’t have time to think about that anymore when he pulled back to drop to his knees, taking your pants and underwear to the floor with him.

He looked back up at you with a mischievous grin as you cautiously stepped out of them. After guiding you to sit up on the table, neither of you stopping to consider how rude it was to put your bare ass on somebody’s desk in a borrowed ship, he slowly parted your legs. As he kissed a trail inside your thigh, you felt your hands clutch the edge of the table tightly with anticipation. You felt so exposed with his face right there, to the point that your cheeks were burning with embarrassment, and yet you couldn't manage to tear your eyes away from his as he leaned in to lick you teasingly with the tip of his tongue.

"Fuck," you shivered, feeling your inner walls quiver as he moved so delicately. You kept waiting for him to really get into it but he was determined to stay gentle and slow, circling your bud for one glorious moment before stopping again. "Ari, please," you whispered without even realizing you’d said it.

"What do you want, baby?" he asked darkly, his voice deep and gravelly as he ran his hands up the back of your legs.

Your begging whimper was so pathetic you could hardly believe you were hearing yourself. "More, please…"

He dove right in after that, suddenly latching onto your clit and letting his tongue explore every fold, every wrinkle, every sensitive spot with thick, wide licks. Your head fell back and your hands jumped to weave into his hair— that gorgeous fucking hair that had driven you halfway insane. It was soft between your fingers, and in this light you could see the touches of red, blonde, and maybe even grey scattered into the brunette. Better yet was the way he moaned against you when you accidentally pulled it, your hands clenching into fists against his scalp each time he sucked on your clit just right.

"Ari, baby, fuck," you groaned, feeling your hips shift a little as if to try to get more of yourself in his mouth.

Sensation was sparking under your skin faster than you knew what to do with it, faster than you had ever figured out on your own, and definitely faster than anybody else had ever managed. You felt your body shaking and couldn’t suppress it at all, every part of you (inside and out) quivering uncontrollably. It would’ve been embarrassing except that he seemed to be enjoying it quite a bit, egging you on with his tight grip on your thighs, and his deep moans that reverberated over your body, and the way his brow furrowed like it almost pained him to see you like this. Your back arched so dramatically that he had to hold onto your hips tight to keep you in his mouth, but he managed to maintain what he'd been doing— in fact, he didn't stop even when you started to whine and cry, feet digging into his back as you tried not to explode from the overstimulation on your sensitive clit.

"S-stop, s'too much, can't take it," you pleaded, looking down at him.

He looked back up at you with dark, dilated eyes that said 'you're gonna take it.' His tongue lapped at you with renewed vigor, sending you tumbling over the edge again and again and again.

Tears were streaming down your face when he finally relented, standing up slowly and staring you down as he wiped his face with the back of his hand; your arousal had coated his mouth and most of his beard, too. You bit down on your lip to stop it from shaking as he slotted himself between your legs again, slowly unbuttoning his shirt and smiling as he watched your gaze trail down every inch of newly-exposed skin.

You knew he was in good shape, because it was always obvious, but you still shivered a little when you were greeted with chiseled muscles, dusty-blonde hair, a few stray freckles and scars, and last but not least, the gauze wrapping on his arm where you’d patched him up before. It was nice to see a piece of your handiwork on something so flawless, like how it must feel to design the frame that holds a Monet. Your mouth was even watering as you followed the trail of hair down to where it was interrupted by his jeans, which were misshapen with the unmistakable outline of his neglected cock. Either you could actually hear it throbbing, or that was just your heartbeat in your ears as he made a show of undoing his buckle and fly slowly.

A breath caught in your throat as he slid the jeans down and kicked them off with his boots, his cock bouncing up against the bottom of his abs once he’d freed it. You hoped to hide your intimidation, but you must have failed from the way he smirked and licked his lips as he stepped forward and pressed it against your stomach; you felt a little dizzy seeing the head of it reach past your bellybutton. "That's how deep I'm gonna be in you, baby."

For all his delicacy and tenderness in everything before now, he must have had a change of heart; with a little growl, he pushed all the way into you with one brutal thrust, watching darkly as your head fell back in a choked scream. He didn’t stop for very long, either, setting up a pace that was slow but unyielding, his length filling every part of you and then some with each slam of his hips into yours.

He grabbed your hair tightly and suddenly, pulling your head back to expose your neck to him. He licked and sucked along your pulse until you were shaking against him, nails accidentally digging into his shoulders a little bit as you held onto him.

His lips trailed up to pull you into a frenzied, sloppy kiss, your mouth slack wide for him to explore however he wanted.

"Tell me how it feels," he growled against your lips.

It feels like my body is on fire but I like it. It feels like you're shaping my insides to fit you exactly how you want. It feels like you might split me in half before you're done with me, but if you stop now I'll fall apart even worse.

His grip on your hair tightened at your lack of response. "Gettin' fucked too good to answer me, huh? So full of my cock you can't even speak. Is that right, pretty baby?"

You nodded as you buried your face in the crook of his neck, your hoarse moans and sobs muffled by his skin.

"Aw, poor thing," he purred, wrapping his arms around your back. His lips brushed against your ear as he spoke to you in a deep mumble, the bass of his voice sending shivers down your spine with each word. "You don't have to tell me, I know how it feels… you're so wet that you're fucking dripping, your needy little pussy is clamping down on me like it's the end of the fucking world, and you're screaming for me so loud I bet half the ship can hear you. I know how it feels, baby; it feels so good that you're already about to come for me."

You gasped as he pushed you to lay back on the table, hoisting your legs up over his shoulders; you felt a bit whorish seeing your legs up in the air like that, especially when he leaned to the side to plant a wet kiss on your calf.

Soon he was letting your legs slip back down to his hips, leaning over you and caging you in with his thick arms, watching your face as he started to fuck you harder. His long hair was at risk of tickling you as it fell down beside your face, but it was that Star of David necklace that was dangling from his neck and swinging right in your face with every thrust. Slightly annoyed by it hitting your face from time to time, you stuck out your tongue to catch it, holding it between your teeth and finding that biting down on it helped you cope with the slight pain of him so deep inside you anyways.

"Baby," he moaned, inspired by the sight to grab your hips even tighter and slam into you even harder. "Fuck, I'm close," he hissed. "Gonna fill you up so good, baby, gonna ruin you for anybody else, huh?"

"Yes, Ari," you whimpered. "I'm close, too…"

"Go ahead, pretty girl, wanna feel how tight you get when you come— when I make you come."

Trying to hold it back only made it hit you harder, and as your moans grew louder and your body began to shake, you felt your walls flutter and flex intensely. He pulled his necklace out of your mouth and kissed you suddenly; it kept you grounded as you feared that the rest of you would float away, lost in pleasure so thoroughly that you'd never come back to reality. His moans mixed with yours as they moved between your tongues, and just when you thought you'd break into pieces if he didn't slow down, you felt his movements stutter and his cock pump inside you. You couldn't feel the warmth of it because you were already so hot all over, but the way his cock swelled as he came was unmistakable and overwhelmingly erotic.

He broke the kiss but didn't pull away, catching his breath while he stayed inside you, resting his forehead against yours.

After cooling off for a moment, he scooped your limp body into his arms and lifted you into his chest; you wrapped around him and let him carry you to the other side of the room where he set you down on the pallet sleeping bags and blankets. You whimpered as he pulled out, his softening cock still big enough to make you wince. The gush of warm, sticky come made your cheeks burn even if it also sent a dulled tingle of arousal up your spine. He was gentlemanly enough to wipe you off with a towel, mumbling something about how pretty you looked stuffed with his come, but you couldn't really focus on any of that because you were still waiting for sensation to return to your numbed extremities— brain included.

He turned his head and laid it on your chest, and you found yourself absent-mindedly scratching his scalp with your nails.

"That's nice," he whispered, but you could tell that already by the way his skin was erupting into goosebumps, and the way he held you tighter.

You must've laid like that for hours, or maybe it was just a few minutes, but it was one of those moments that felt like a piece of forever. He lifted his head to look up at you, pulling you down a bit so his face hovered over yours.

"What's next for you after you get these women to Greece?" he asked quietly.

You chewed your lip as you thought about that. "Back to DC, I figure, and then wherever they send me next. I hear they might want me undercover in Cuba or Russia…"

"How often do you end up in Jerusalem?"

You squirmed a little beneath him, but he slipped his arm under your neck and pulled you closer; how were you supposed to think with his bicep right by your face like that? "Uh, not often, but if I'm in town I'll give you a call—"

"Come with me," he requested softly. "Get to Cyprus, go to Greece, and then meet me in Tel Aviv."

"Ari, I can't—"

"Why not?"

You laughed a little, but he clearly wasn’t joking. "Because I have a job?"

"You won't need a job," he shrugged, "I make good money and you can just live with me."

Your throat went dry as you stammered, trying to figure out if he had seriously just asked you to quit your job and move in with him.

"You'll like Israel. You speak some Hebrew don't you?"

"Uhh, yeah but—"

"Then what's stopping you?"

You couldn't answer because you didn't even know where to start with all the things that were stopping you. Your mouth opened and closed silently like a fish out of water, and he laughed at you lightly.

"Just say yes," he encouraged gently, and your heart twisted as you wondered if this was part of the deal, if you needed to do everything he wanted to keep him on your side. You were on an Israeli ship, sailing international waters; if he changed his mind now, he could still sell you out and have these people arrested or worse. But he wouldn't do that, right?

Perhaps the more important question was not 'would he do that?' but rather 'are you willing to find out?'

"Yes," you heard yourself answer before you even realized you were considering it.

He grinned, hugging you tightly. He was already rambling about how great it was going to be and how he would spoil you all the time and maybe find a way to get you hired as a contractor at Mossad so he could bring you along on missions, but you couldn't hear it past the ringing in your ears. You desperately needed sleep, and his arms were warm and welcoming as you drifted off. He kissed your forehead before letting his eyes fall shut as well, joining you in unconsciousness.

The swaying of the ship was like being rocked to sleep, so much so that you slept for an uncharacteristically long time: you were just a few hours out from your destination when you awoke, in fact.

Instead of getting up and attempting to acquire some food, you laid there staring up at the ceiling as his heavy arm draped over your chest. Even in his sleep he had power over you, refused to let you go. You tried to remember how you'd ended up in this situation but instead you found yourself fantasizing about a chance at love. After running around the world for so long, there weren't many good men left to settle down with. And Ari was maybe not an entirely good man, but you believed him when he said he would treat you well. You'd shacked up with a lot worse in your time, when you were young and reckless and thought the worst thing you could be was alone. Still, a long-suppressed desire for companionship was awakening in your mind and you weren't going to swallow it back down this time. Smiling, you lifted his hand to your lips and kissed his knuckles. If what he wanted in exchange for his cooperation was your affection, you could do that.

#ari levinson x reader #dark!ari levinson x reader #ari levinson smut #chris evans x reader #ari levinson x you

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lesbiansanemi · 2 years ago

Note

okay okay uh 1 3 10 16 40 i am sorry that’s a lot i just have a lot of questions for you <3333 (and don’t feel pressure to do 40 lol)

Oh don't worry about it! I love answering questions!! :D

I answered 1, 3, and 10 here and here, so here's 16 and 40 :D

16. What's the weirdest thing you've ever used as a bookmark?

I actually tend not to use bookmarks. When I read books, I generally try and plan for when I can read them all in one sitting (or at least within a day or two if it's like 900-1000 paged book I realistically can't read all at once without sleeping some lol), so if I have to set it down for some reason, I usually just leave it face down and return to it within a few minutes. I actually have a special little bookshelf a friend of my mom's got me when I was a kid with a special slanted shelf on it for laying books face down like that for bookmarks, so if I have to wait a while to come back to the book, I usually use that :D

40. Please share a poem with me, I need it

Omg, I actually don't think I've ever??? Posted any of my poetry here before? I honestly haven't written any since my advanced poetry class several semesters ago >.< but here's one I was proud of (I wrote it back when me and my friend lived hours apart and I just... missed her a lot lol Rin if you see this no you didn't)

Sometimes I still tell people

That my truck is haunted

That my best friend is a witch

And we played with a ouija board in the tail bed

They always laugh, never thinking I’m serious

Some continue to laugh when they realize I am

They obviously don’t believe in any of it

Though I’m not sure I do either

But I do know

That day, after seventh period government

We ached for something to do

And you remembered your board

No planchet you said

Or maybe there was and you just couldn’t find it

Your car always was such a disaster

But we improvised, and used your makeup light instead

It moved a bit, drifting to random letters

But did little more than that

Honestly it was more entertaining

Watching other students’ reactions to what we were doing

I do wonder if you remember that as fondly as I

Messing with your ouija board in my tail bed

Not caring at all for the trouble we might cause ourselves

Just wanting to have a little fun

I’m sure you do, and if I ever bothered to ask

To close that distance between us

You would recall the story just the same

Understand my fondness for it, in a way no one else does

But honestly

I might as well use that ouija board to talk to you

Sometimes it all just feels so distant

It's not your fault, and it's not mine

But still...

I wish we could just talk, just see each other

With nothing between us, just your touch and voice

So I’ll just cling to that little memory

Continue to brag about my haunted truck

And point out the spot we used that ouija board to others

And miss you

#asks #kaz rambles

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on-maars · 3 years ago

Text

Banana Ice-Cream with Chocolate Chips

Just another lil Christopher centric fic I wrote 🙂

Read on AO3.

Chris is seated on his bed, a book in his hand. It’s already 10 and it’s way past his bedtime but he’s not sleepy so he thought he could continue the book Buck bought for him a few days ago. It’s a book about Ancient Egypt and it’s fascinating. There is a part about the Pyramids and Christopher really wants to finish it tonight so he can talk about it with Buck tomorrow night.

He’s coming for their usual Friday movie nights and he always wants to hear every little thing Christopher learned. Chris likes to talk about it with his dad too but Buck is more curious and he asks a lot of questions and he likes to go to the library with him to try and find more books about the topic they’re discussing. Buck always knows a lot of stuff and Chris thinks he’s very smart.

Chris goes on reading the first chapter about the Pyramids but jumps with surprise when he hears a few knocks on his door.

“If you think I don’t see the light from your bedside lamp then you’re wrong buddy.” His dad says carefully, his head peeking in through the crack of the door. “Maybe I should tell Buck to stop spoiling you too much if that means you’re gonna fall asleep past your bedtime every night.”

“You wouldn’t do that.” Chris says, smiling cheekily at his dad. He still puts the book down on his bedside table and lies down in his bed, muffled in his blanket. “You love me too much for that.” He adds and that makes his dad laugh while he lowers his head down and ruffle his hair.

“Alright alright, mister. It’s a school day tomorrow so no more reading books on the sly, okay young man?” His dad says, pointing his finger at the air around him, like he wants to scold him but he doesn’t really know how to. Maybe he wants to sound strict and inflexible but it always makes Christopher wants to laugh instead. He bites his cheek to hide his smile and lets his head fall on his pillow.

“Yes father, I will go to bed now.” He says, making fun of his dad and a laugh escapes his lips when a smile finally breaks in on his dad’s face.

It becomes serious again a bit too fast, though, and Christopher knows it must mean something is on his dad’s mind. He has that faraway look in his eyes, like he’s there in the room but not quite. Something is bothering him and Christopher is determined to find out what it is.

“Dad.” He says, sitting down straight on his bed and rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands. “What’s wrong?” He asks.

“Nothing, kiddo. Everything’s good.” His dad answers with a smile but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes and Christopher knows he’s lying. He always know when his dad is lying. He’s only a kid but he observed his dad long enough along the years to know when his smiles are not sincere. When he really means it, his eyes are shining and even when his dad was wearing a mask because of this virus, Christopher could always tell when he was smiling just by looking at his eyes. His eyes always say it all.

And right now, his eyes are not smiling. They seem sad, empty and lost.

“No it’s not.” Christopher shakes his head. “Something is wrong. I can tell.”

“Of course you can.” His dad says, chuckling. “Since when did you get so smart?”

“I was always smart.” Christopher replies, shrugging his shoulders. “It just took you very long to notice it.” He adds and that makes his dad laugh again. Christopher considers it a win.

He loves making his dad laugh.

It’s very quiet after that. A silence settles in the room and his dad turns his head, his eyes looking down at the carpet. His fingers are intertwined together and he keeps rubbing them against each other like he’s nervous. He eventually takes a deep breath, though, and looks at Christopher in the eye.

“There’s- there’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about, superman.” He says, and Christopher doesn’t like the tone of his voice. It’s too fragile, too quavering. He seems scared.

It must be very important – Christopher thinks as he takes his teddy bear in his hands.

“Okay.” He says carefully. “What is it?” He asks.

“Chris.” His dad starts but marks a pause. He closes his eyes like he wants to organize his thoughts and goes on. “Uh you know how you used to like chocolate ice-cream so much?”

“Yes?” Christopher says. He doesn’t really understand where his dad drives at but he figures that if that conversation cannot wait until the morning then it must be very important. So he stays silent and lets his dad continue.

“But then Buck bought you this banana ice-cream with chocolate chips and you told me you realized you never liked chocolate ice-cream so much in the end and that you could go on and live your life only eating banana ice-cream with chocolate chips instead?” His dad asks and Christopher frowns.

“Yes dad I remember that but why are we talking about ice-creams at 10? You’re acting really weird and you’re not making any sense.” Christopher says. This is all very confusing and Christopher doesn’t understand why adults always need to make weird detours while saying things instead of getting straight to the point.

“Because I-” His dad closes his eyes again. “Listen, when I started dating your mom Chris, I was very young and I didn't always know how to-”

His dad marks a pause again but Christopher doesn’t actually need to hear more to understand what he’s trying to say. His teacher once used the same ice-cream metaphors to talk about the same thing so Christopher is pretty sure he got it right.

“Dad, are you... Are you gay?” He asks and his dad whirls his head around to look at him in the eye, seemingly very surprised.

“How did you know I-” He starts but Christopher doesn’t let him the time to finish and cut him off.

“You know you could have just told me you were gay instead of using this weird ice-cream metaphors.” He says, letting himself fall on his mattress as he lets out a sigh. “My teacher used the same metaphor the other day and I don't understand why you guys are always trying to ease us into it like it's some big complicated thing. It's not. It's very simple. And I’m not five anymore dad, I’m 12. I know what being gay means.” He adds. “And if you are then I think it’s cool.”

“You think it’s c-” His dad lets out a laugh, like he’s relieved. Christopher doesn’t really understand why it’s such a big deal but he’s happy his dad told him because he seemed really scared and now maybe he can finally relax. “Thanks god for you, kid.” He adds after a while and Christopher closes his eyes. He’s tired but he can still hear what’s next.

“Christopher I want you to know… It’s not because I’m gay that I didn’t love your mother, you do know that right? I loved her very much. And I’ll never regret marrying her because then you came around and you’re the most important person in my l-”

“I know dad.” Christopher says, his voice tired. “That’s okay. I know you loved Mom. And I know you love me. I love you too.”

Christopher barely feels his dad’s lips pressing a small kiss on his hair that he’s already fast asleep in his bed.

---

There’s something different about his dad after that.

He seems happier. He seems more relaxed, more comfortable, like there was something stuck inside of him and now he can finally let it go. Christopher decides he really loves seeing his dad like that. He’s smiling a lot, laughing too, and sometimes Christopher even feels like he’s discovering a better version of his own dad. He thinks it’s really cool and he hopes it’s going to stay that way.

He’s on the couch right now, Buck by his side. They’re watching Luca for the fifth time and his dad is in the kitchen preparing a new bowl of pop-corns. Christopher cuddles up next to Buck and smiles when Alberto and Luca finally finish to build their own Vespa.

“Buck.” He says.

“Hmm?”

“Do you think Luca and Alberto are in love with each other?” He asks and looks up towards his dad when he comes back with a bowl full of pop-corns and three hot-chocolates. He even added mini marshmallows on top of it and Christopher instantly takes his mug to take a sip of it. His dad sits down next to him and Chris doesn’t miss the way Buck’s fingers graze his dad’s hand in the process.

“Hum I don’t know, kiddo.” Buck answers. “Maybe. What do you think?”

“I think they are.” Christopher goes on. “In love, that is. My friend, Jess, he disagrees though. Says they can’t be in love because they’re two guys. And that it’s not normal for two guys to be in love.”

“Well he was wrong.” Buck answers and Christopher nods vigorously.

“I know. I told him that was a very dumb thing for him to say because I had two dads and I think he-”

Christopher doesn’t finish his sentence, though. Because suddenly Buck chokes on his hot chocolate and his dad has to tap him a few times on his back for him to be able to breathe normally again.

“Did I… Did I say something wrong?” Chris asks.

“No kiddo.” His dad says, smiling, his hand still on Bucky’s back. “I think Buck is just surprised to know you’re telling your friends he’s your other dad.”

“Well you kind of are… Aren’t you?” Christopher asks, turning his head to face Buck.

“I mean, I- If you- maybe we can-”

“Like you and Uncle Bobby.” Christopher goes on. “He’s not your real dad but you call him Pops all the time. Maybe I can start calling you Pops too.” He says, glancing at his dad. “Would that be okay?”

“I think you broke him, buddy.” His dad says, running his hands through Bucky’s hair. A few tears are rolling down Buck’s cheeks and Christopher is scared for a second but then a small laugh escapes Bucky's lips and he wraps his arms around his shoulders.

“Of course you can call me Pops, Chris, I- I’m sorry I’m a mess, I’m just… Just very happy.”

“That’s okay… Pops.” Chris says and laughs when that only makes Buck cry a bit more. “I love you Bucky.”

“Love you too, superman.” He says and Chris smiles when his dad presses a small kiss on Buck’s forehead. “So much.” Buck asks.

“You should move in.” Christopher only adds, bringing back his attention to the movie still playing on their television. “You and dad are already dating anyway so it would be easier if you just stayed there. I like having you here. Dad, too. He’s happier when you’re around and always sulking when you’re not.”

“I’m not sulking!” His dad exclaims, his eyes wide.

“How do you know we’re dating?” Buck asks at the same time, his eyebrows raised in confusion.

“Dad told me he was gay a few weeks ago so I just figured he finally realized he was in love with you. Was I wrong?” He asks cheekily and his dad shakes his head, laughing in disbelief. “And yes dad, you’re totally sulking. So ask him to move in already. Maybe he can be your banana ice-cream with chocolate chips”

His dad has his hand on the back of Buck’s neck now and when he looks up at him, a soft smile breaks in on Buck’s face. His dad uses his thumbs to wipe the tears off his cheeks and laughs through his nose.

“Wanna move in?” He asks and Buck only nods before kissing him right on the lips.

“Gross.” Christopher whispers, looking away. “Can we maybe continue watching the movie now?”

And they do.

And it’s one of the best days of Christopher’s life because he knows now that from now on every night can be Friday’s movie nights.

#buddie #buddie fic #buck x eddie #my writing #911 #9-1-1

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kakashis-formal-simp · 4 years ago

Text

Jealous Kakashi

This is my first actual fanfic, I hope it’s good😖 If you notice a error or something I can work on please let me know ☺️☺️

You and Kakashi have been dating for around 10 months. Tonight you asked him if he wanted to go to a party with you and your friends, him being the antisocial frog he is, said no. You really didn’t want to go to the party without him because you wanted to dance, have fun, and also not worry about people hitting on you. With a Kakashi Hatake by your side, you hoped people would be scared to hit on you. Normally, when you go out, you wear jeans and a t-shirt, unless of course you’re on a mission. Tonight, however, was different, you opted for looking hot. You did have a boyfriend though, so you were planning on wearing a tighter shirt, tight pants, and no cleavage. Unfortunately, for Kakashi, while you were showing him and asking his opinion, he was ignoring you and reading his stupid icha icha.

Narutrally, you went to your closet and dug out your tight, black, low cut dress and put it on.

“Kakashi how does this one look?” “It looks great on you babe” he replied without looking up from his book. “Okay, I’m going to wear this outfit, is that okay with you?” While sounding innocent, you knew what you were planning was a little devious. “Yeah, babe, you can wear it”, he still didn’t look up. “Great, I’m wearing it then!” “Yeah, looks good” he mumbled

You went to the bathroom to finish your hair, you curled your hair, put your black tights on, paired with black heels. It was now 7:30 and you have to leave at 7:50 to be there by 8. You walked into your room to get your black lipstick. Looking into your mirror you saw Kakashi put his book down, stand up, and stretch.

The part you were waiting for finally happened, he looked at you. Kakashi could only see your backside from where he was standing. “Babe?” he asked quietly. “Yeah?”

“Can you ,uh, turn around for me,”

You backed up from your dresser and turned around. You watched Kakashi intently waiting to see his reaction. You watched him look you up and down slowly. A light pink hue started to show on his cheeks.

“Damn, Y/n, you look hot.” You had to admit you did, indeed, look hot. The dress hugged your curves perfectly, not to mention the low cut that showed your breasts off a little bit. “I know”, you giggled, “I’m going to be back pretty late, probably around 1 am. Don’t worry though babe, Gemma and Gai always offer to walk me home so no pedo’s will get me”, you laughed a little while you walked to the bathroom to apply your lipstick. “Gemma and Gai are going to be there?” He groaned. You laughed at the dread in his voice “Yes, I told you Anko is hosting the party, so all of my friends are going to be their too”,

“Well don’t you think you should change?” You stopped what you were doing and turned to look at him “Why would I change my outfit? I think it looks good.” You pouted. “Well it does look good Y/n, but I think you have much better looking clothes.” Hmpf wrong answer Kakashi “I like this outfit, besides, when I asked you if it looked good you said yes. Actually, you also said you didn’t care if I wore it and it looked great on me.” You wanted to smirk but you knew he would pick up on it and find out your little game. “Yes well” he stepped closer to you, “I liked the other outfit better, this one is good but I’ve seen better” You frowned and stepped away from him, closer to the door. “Oh,” you looked down then back up at him, “if you thought my body didn’t look good in the dress you could have just told me, I would’ve preferred you said that instead of lying to me the first time”, you knew the game you were playing was dangerous and maybe a little mean. He did deserve it though. “I don’t normally wear tight things because it looks weird but I-I actually thought this one looked good,” “N-no! Babe that’s not what I meant! I just… I like the other ones better”. Kakashi looked panicked, poor thing I almost felt bad. You took a deep breath and let it out “Well I’m wearing this anyways because I’m an independent woman and I don’t need your validation”, you turned and walked back in your room to grab your wallet. “Y/n, I really don’t think you should wear that,” his tone was serious. “Why not? Didn’t you say I looked hot earlier.” “Yes, I did, and that’s the problem Y/n, you look too good. I don’t want all those guys seeing you like that especially Gemma and Gai.” You ran a hand through your hair,”Kakashi you told me it was okay to wear it and that you were fine with it, so whether you like it or not I am”. “Fine then, I’ll just have to come with you”, he walked closer to you as you backed up slightly. “But,” he pins you to the wall and leans down by your ear “you should be worried I won’t rip open you dress in front of everyone and show them you’re mine” You knew he wanted you to to be hot and bothered by that, but, naturally, you got out of his grasp. “I’m not scared, besides, I knew wearing this in public would make you jealous. I think it’s a fair punishment for not paying attention to me,” You laugh a little to evilly. “Wait, you… Hey! You did that on purpose!” You turned around and looked him up and down “Yeah, I did, and you were totally jealous of Gemma and Guy”. Kakashi made a cocky face “I don’t get jealous, now if you’ll excuse I have to go change.” “That’s good because Gemma is here to pick me up right now, I’ll see you there kakashi” you yelled as you were walking to the front door. “ Hey! I’m ready to go right now, nobody is walking my girlfriend to a party except me!” “Doesn’t get jealous he says, looks good on you he says, you can wear it he says” you mumbled walking out the door, “ I can hear you Y/n, and where's Gemma?” “I lied, he’s not picking me up.”

#kakashi hatake #kakashi sensei #kakashi/naruto #kakashi x you #kakashi x reader #kakashi fanfiction #naruto #naruto fanfiction #fanfic #fan fiction

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yakocchi · 4 years ago

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Becoming a Family With Him, Part 3 // Shuichi, Hikaru, Rhion, Luke, Eisuke

so this came out, as further celebration for the anni. VERY GOOD, much more appreciated than the prior story set lol that one was kind of boring but i get it

they made the kids for all the... kid-less ones, and the eisuke one that used to be VIP-exclusive is now here for everyone to buy (rip those ppl who gacha for it)

my rambling behind the cut (spoilers!!)

shuichi // as ud expect, shuichi has a literal hime ass looking girl (kikyo) for a daughter. she’s only 6, but is pretty calm and ladylike. She even calls her parents with –sama so... ok luckily shuichi does not strip down all the way in the presence of her daughter and only takes off his suit coat. thanks dad

anyway since shuichi has a break coming up, he wants to have a family trip how nice. but then the dang girl wants to go over to see eisuke WHAT when soryu exists and lives a block away? unrelatable, im closing the app anyway eisuke is her first love, which wtf he’s like 20 yrs older than u. even worse, mc says she’s been in love since she was like 3.

shuichi is reconsidering the benefits of democracy in his mind but eventually relents. but then they’re still following the fucc-days rule they set years ago. well, as he says in the story, RULES ARE RULES

blah blah i don’t want to go over everything bc then it’ll be boring reading the story when it comes out in engl right? also im tired bc it’s 1 am and i just want to play toontown in bed but nothing really bad happens. they are a v cute family bc shuichi is a pleasant and mature dad. kikyo and mc even do a little surprise for him at the end and it is very sweet. i feel like out of all the families, this is the most ideal

mad hatter // so they have twin sons named Rui and Kai. Rui is the childlike one that resembles Rhion in personality, Kai is the more mature one that resembles Al. man i forget that boy’s name but u get me i know they only can use stock bgs but it’s killing me that these dang kids get to sleep in what looks like separate king sized beds.

even though rhion is now a father of two, he still acts like... 10. i mean he still horni but it makes me feel weird

later it’s revealed that Ota teaches them both as an art tutor bc they both showed an interest in art. this is cute bc ota is bad with kids in this universe LOL

the ending on this one was weird cuz the kids didn’t show up in the entirety of the last ep bc it was about WORK. so uh... interesting

hikaru // so their son is named akari. haha get it because it means light. like how hikaru also means light. can mc name her kids unrelated to their father or is that against the Geneva convention

this kid actually acts like an actual little boy. like what hikaru would’ve probably turned into if not for the whole sad backstory. the story starts with akari just bringing a dog randomly home one day. he actually saved the dog (it is very cute bc he did not want the dog to cry), and then after a talk they decide to keep the dog as long as akari knows the responsibility of taking care of an animal.

so next day, the bidders come over to their house and everyone’s like woaw a dog. lol they come into their house as guests and eisuke and mamo still demand for beverages, they all suck

akari names the dog... “Light” (Raito) and i want out of this nightmare. Naturally bc Light is an abandoned dog it’s still kind of bad with interacting with things. But then Light suddenly be giving the ( ╹ਊ╹) to soryu bc remember, animals love him. everyone clowns on soryu for being an unintentional dog whisperer and then akari is like “soryu san pls make me ur apprentice” and he gives some advice like approaching it slowly, and talking to it from the front instead of back.

blah blah there’s a situation where Light goes YEET after a Doberman gets all angry and then hides bc then another dog is scaring it. hikaru swoops in to the save the day as the Real Dog Whisperer. ok it’s cute when hikaru actually gets to look cool for once LOL

luke // luke is cute on the bc “pre-story” scene he’s actually pretty open to the idea of having kids; he actually goes “well imo we should think abt it pretty soon, but i wanted to hear ur opinion on it” but then he gets horni. and then he’s like “our kids are going to have your collarbones. awesomeee im looking forward to that” ....ok

ok cut to the actual story and they’re in Japan. Luke’s kid looks... strange versus the others. why are his eyes so big? omg voltage his eyes arent going to be saucers just cuz he half white also the kid’s name is Yuri (Or Urey). They couldn’t think of any other Brit-styled names? Like Harry? Henry? William? Wilfred? hey stan be my princess btw he’s pretty cute, though he gives serious “timid kid that gets bullied in the children’s movie” vibes. He calls Luke “daddy” and mc “mammy/mommy”.

so luke talks about his relationship w/ soryu and eisuke and then yuri is like “i want friends like that” wow cute but also find less ethically-complicated friends

so luke lets yuri meet a young patient of his (haru) so they can be friends. they get along so it’s good. haru gets in critical condition later so luke zooms outta there to do the operation.

LOL but at the end yuri is like, “i want to make more friends. (...) can i go to the bidder’s room from now on?” this boy works fast

And then he’s like “Eisuke-san... please be my friend.” HIS POWER. even eisuke was like :O so then eisuke orders a whole bunch of food and books up to the penthouse. But then yuri’s like “...i like eisuke’s eyes” and everyone’s like oh man that’s gonna be his fetish

Baba: why have u started to have an interest in eyes Yuri: I read it from one of daddy’s medical books Hikaru: wtf u can read that at 4??? (...) Soryu: wat Yuri: um... i want soryu to be my friend too Yuri: bc soryu’s eyes are also powerfully cool...

eisuke // ok this gets an extended ramble bc the more annoying the story the longer i must complain

so you might be thinking, “oh so this is gonna be a flashback in some in media res styled story with your 2 kids, u know in the style of the others” and well, no you just go straight to white screen into the flashback, back when eito was smaller and thus a little more cute. well it’s not really false advertising bc they did say “reminisce” in the description. but i wanted to see eito be a good big brother for a moment! or... less good? man i wanted to see kaito go waaaah like a baby idk i wanted to see him exist

so back to the story they cut to small eito. even as a smaller punk he does fight with his dad a little, just w/ a more narrow vocabulary to work with. tho at this point he’s still pretty sweet so clearly eisuke clowning him day and night was a negative effect on his development. (doesn’t treat his child like a child) (child grows up to a punk that doesn’t respect him) (surprised pikachu) being the son of a billionaire means that this child has to go study at a very young age and listen to MOZART. no child of eisuke ichinomiya will be listening to degenerate bops like lee taemin’s criminal next day they all go to the very fancy school that eito will be attending. eisuke does a speech, but then eito is all like “why is papa over there all the time” in reference to how all the other parents in attendance are having fun with their children, but eisuke is busy talking to other people for business and connections etc. etc. mc kind of has a hard time trying to explain it to eito bc... it’s honestly poor parenting... eiji shows up after arriving late, and he’s like “gramps is gonna be with ya today! instead of papa” which is cute but then she’s like psst thanks for coming and im like oh... so grandpa just didn’t randomly come to the open house for fun he’s just gonna be surrogate dad while real dad is busy... aw... and then at the end eito’s like FUC THIS KINDERGARTEN. eisuke is like “(smh) don’t yell in public. (despite everything) you are still the eldest son of the Ichinomiya family”

and so afterwards it’s clear that eito does not want anything to do with this school. he just sits in the classroom until mc is there to pick him up instead of playing in the courtyard or w/e, wanting nothing to do with the other kids.

so later there’s a hiking trip for the students and both of their parents, and mc asks eisuke if he’ll be available for it. eisuke is like, “i have a business trip that day, so I’ll have to adjust my schedule” and he’s been very busy in the opening of a new business or w/e. mc tells him to not do so much for something like that and that it’s ok if she goes alone with eito on the trip.

it’s the day of the trip, and mc goes alone with eito. she notes that a lot of dads did indeed come along for the trip. she apologizes to eito and says that she did talk to eisuke about the trip before, but he’s simply busy for this day. and im like... but girl, you were the one who told him not to change his schedule for the trip. yes a trip may seem less important than business ventures, but don’t make it sound like you weren’t the one who stopped him. lol. idk why im pressed abt this single line of dialogue bc later she does realize she fucced up there well eito is just like w/e about it and has pretty much accepted that sort of thing

anyway eito goes missing later and one of the kids said that he told eito that his dad (eisuke) didn’t come bc his dad thinks that his work is more important than his son. so eito got mad and ran off somewhere

and then mc finally gets the lightbulb moment that eito... wants to see his dad!! he ran off to go try to see him somehow??? !! wow so sweet

it’s raining like a mf but then in her search for eito eisuke randomly pops out of nowhere. He’s like “ho i did not remember saying that i wasn’t coming” and she’s like “im sorrryyy” and both me and him are like “just find the dang kid”

ok yea they find eito, he starts being a good student, and u start to see where he starts being antagonistic towards his dad LOL etc. etc. lol this story annoyed me so i don’t feel like doing the rest of the play by play orz

anyway thanks for reading my garbage LOL

#kbtbb #kissed by the baddest bidder #spoilers

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do-y0u-have-to-let-it-linger · 4 years ago

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Hi! Can I get a ship? I'm an INFP, straight girl with social anxiety. I listen to music all the time. (mostly rock) I never leave the house without my earphones. I enjoy movie nights, reading books (romance and mystery are my favourite genres), playing videogames, goofing around with my friends. My friends would describe me as kind, helpful and loyal. I'm really into photography. I wanted to be a photographer as a kid, but it's just a hobby nowadays. I'm a hopeless romantic and a night owl. It takes time for me to open up to people, but once I'm there I can be pretty talkative. I'm 5'8" tall, I have half long brown hair, dark brown eyes and I wear glasses. If I have to describe my style it would be somewhat 80s grunge. Thank you!

(tw: swearing and eating)

I ship you with Scott Summers!

You never got along very well with Scott Summers.

He always came across as a bit of a preppy asshole. Not that his preppy-ness was necessarily correlated to his asshole-ness, but it did seem to enhance it.

You may think that not getting along perfectly with some random boy who happened to live in the (large) building you live in is not much of a problem, but you are incorrect.

When your best friend (and dorm-mate) of ten years, Jean, is on a so-called "superhero team" with and is good friends with said boy, it is not exactly easy to avoid him.

Since Jean's biological family was not around, she made her own.

The first member of her so-called found family was you, who arrived just a day before she did. When she first entered your dorm, you were adjusting all of your newly unpacked trinkets. You were both young enough to immediately become friends, no questions asked, and your friendship stuck. You two tended to keep to yourselves and each other, until you two were older.

When Jean was invited to join the X-Men with some of her friends, you couldn’t have been prouder. The problem was that when you met this other part of her found family, it did not go well. None of you clicked whenever in the same room, and Scott immediately made fun of you the moment he met you. You ultimately decided to avoid her other friends, but be supportive of them. Not because you couldn’t handle Scott, but because you didn’t want to put Jean in a position where she had to choose between you and them. Overall, this just made Jean desperately want you and her other friends to get along.

"Come on, just sneak out with us this one time!" Jean was sitting on the edge of your bed, making puppy dog eyes at you and clasping her hands together.

She always tried to convince you to hang out with her friend group. Even if that meant, in this case, convincing you to break (very reasonable) rules with them.

"No. Absolutely not. Jubilee is going to try to 'catch me a man', and Scott's going to try to be funny but just end up making fun of me. Besides, why would I break school rules and steal a car for a trip to the mall?"

"Because you haven't seen Empire Strikes Back yet, and I bought you a ticket for 1:00 PM today."

"Shit. You're evil, you know that? This is unfair. You know me too well."

Jean beamed at you. "Thank you, I try. Now, get dressed, you're going to love this."

"I am dressed, and you can’t make demands. I’m the one being convinced here!"

"I will not be pestered by Jubilee's pleas to let her give you a makeover! Just throw on jeans instead of your sweatpants or something! Now chop, chop! We're leaving in 10 minutes!"

"I'm sorry, 10 minutes?"

"I knew if you had more than 15, you would change your mind. Meet me by the front door when you're ready to go!"

After Jean left your shared room, you threw on some different clothes and hastily grabbed everything you needed to go. With your sneakers in your hands, you ran into the school's kitchen and shoved a granola bar in your mouth. As you were hopping, trying to force your shoes on your feet, someone spoke from behind you.

"Well, you look elegant as ever."

You froze, squinted your eyes, and clenched your jaw. Well, as much as you could with the previously mentioned granola bar in your mouth.

Scott Summers.

You swallowed and turned around, plastering on a smile in preparation to respond to his sarcasm.

"Well, you know me, unwaveringly ethereal."

Once you finished your attempt to keep the peace, your grin dropped off your face and you went to tie on your shoes, occasionally having to push your glasses back up your nose as you did so.

Jean then started talking to you while making her way into the kitchen.

"Come on, we need to go before Charles's class ends- well, well, well, look at you two!" she spoke in a sing-song tone at the end.

"Trust me, there's no 'you two' here." Scott hissed at her. Hissed! The audacity, would it be so terrible for him to be theoretical friends with you?

"Calm down, I just mean that I'm glad you two are talking," Jean said. "But we need to go. Like- now."

Jean then grabbed you by the arm and started to pull you out of the room, wiggling her eyebrows at Scott on the way out. Scott got up to trail behind you two, if he could glare at people with the glasses he wore, then he would have been glaring at her.

You elbowed Jean in the side and whisper shouted at her.

"What was that? What was the purpose of the eyebrow wiggle?"

"What eyebrow wiggle? I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You're a menace to society, you know that?"

"I am aware that you don't actually think I'm a menace, but I appreciate the compliment." She leaned down and messed up your hair. "Now let's move it!"

When you got to the minivan you were all "borrowing" from Charles, most everyone was already there. Kurt, Jubilee, and Peter took the back seats, and Ororo was sitting in the driver's seat.

You walked to sit shotgun, but Jean sped up to beat you to the seat.

Suspicious.

Squinting at her, you went to sit in the middle row, where Scott also made to sit.

It was silent for the first minute of the drive until Jubilee tried to strike up a conversation.

"So! Y/N, I'm so glad you decided to hang out with us! I love your outfit. Ooh! Peter, hand me my bag! I have a scrunchie that will match perfectly."

Peter looked at her with mock disbelief. "Yeah. dude, make me reach behind my seat and into the trunk of the car."

Kurt clearly did not want to be part of this conflict.

Jubilee smiled sweetly at Peter. "Shut up and grab me my bag, please?"

Peter sighed half-sarcastically. "Yes ma'am."

Well, Jean's friends were just as you remember (aka slightly crazy).

You heard Jean's voice in your mind "If you don't wear that scrunchie it will genuinely hurt Jubilee's feelings, and I will never forgive you."

You looked at her through the mirror and raised your eyebrows.

Jubilee's voice took back your attention. "Here it is! Scotty, I can't reach. Can you hand this to her?"

Scott visibly winced at the nickname "Scotty" but handed you the scrunchie anyway. After trying to hide your amusement at the use of "Scotty", you attempted to put your hair up with the scrunchie, and you saw Jean smile. You were determined to make friends with these people for Jean.

"Thanks, Jubilee," You smiled at her. "So, how do I look?"

Scott chimed in immediately. "Like you're twelve."

"Ok, shut up Scott. You look cool, Y/N." Ororo gave you a thumbs up from the front seat. They were all clearly told to make friends with you by Jean in the same way you were. Well... told or threatened. Who's to say.

The car ride was awkward, to say the least. When you finally arrived at the mall and exited the car, you felt like you could finally breathe. You spoke first while you were all walking into the mall.

"So, how are we planning on killing time before Empire?"

"Well, Jubilee wanted to pick up some more eyeshadow with me, and Peter, Kurt, and Ororo are probably going to buy even more colored leather jackets," Jean said.

"Where does that leave me and your wallflower?" Scott asked Jean. You turned to look at him, attempting to make your lack of amusement clear. "What?" He shrugged, "It's true!"

"Ok, first of all, she's not actually that shy, you're just mean. Second of all, I was hoping you two could go into the book shop together until we're done."

Your eyes widened as you turned to Jean, silently begging her not to leave you and Scott alone.

"What? Why are you looking at me like I'm crazy? Maybe I thought you would try to get along because you both love me and I want you to be friends!"

Scott responded first. "You're totally guilt-tripping us right now."

"Yes!" Jean responded. "Yes I am, and you better be feeling guilty. Now, we're all going inside, and you are going into that bookstore together, you are going to bond over your cheesy dreams about falling in love, and, Scott, you are going to be kind! Or I will be very upset!"

You and Scott looked at each other (slightly afraid) before you turned to Jean and nodded your head at her.

"Ok. Let's go, Scott." You looked at him and he nodded at you both of you then started to head to the bookstore.

In the door of the shop, you glanced at him awkwardly. "So... is there a specific section you want to visit? Or-"

"Uh, I usually just... wander." He was bouncing on his heels.

"Oh! Ok, uh... where you lead I will follow!"

He spun around and started to walk aimlessly, actually trying to make conversation.

"So- you take photos?"

"...How did you know that?"

"I've seen you. That sounds creepy, I just mean that I saw you with a camera once when you walked Jean to training. It seemed nice. Only a dumbass would own a nice camera and not use it."

"How kind of you to not see me as a dumbass," you mumbled as you ran your hand across the book binds. "Do you have any hobbies?"

"Not really to be honest. Well, actually- I like... cars."

"...Cars. Huh. Elaborate."

"My brother, his name is Alex, taught me how to fix up cars when I was younger. Ooh- recently we found this beautiful 1962 AMC Rambler- I mean, it was basically a pile of garbage, but we're fixing it up."

"What's a Rambler?"

"W- 'What's a Rambler?'" He looked at you like you were speaking another language. "A 1962 AMC Rambler is only the car of my dreams!"

"The 'car of your dreams'?"

"Uh, yeah. What- do you not have a dream car?"

You laughed at him, "No? I don’t know that much about cars."

"You don’t have to know shit about cars to have a dream car! Come on, you don't have any car you would want to drive?"

"A school bus."

"...What do you mean."

"I mean- I bet I could live in a school bus. It's big, has a lot of windows, it's yellow." Scott was surprisingly easy to talk to.

"A school bus. Huh."

"I thought of that on the spot, it's not a long-term dream of mine."

"No, I see the appeal. I do think it's weird that you listed it being yellow as one of its positive attributes though."

"Holy shit. Holy shit!"

"What? What's the problem?"

You grabbed the book you spotted and held it out to him with your arms fully outstretched, it almost hit his nose. "Do you know what this is?"

Scott's hands appeared at the top of the book, and he pushed it down so you could see his confused expression. "A... book?"

"Very funny, Scotty, but no this is not just a book. This is a sequel."

He crossed his arms across his chest. "... 'Scotty'? I'm gonna kill Lee."

"Who's Lee?"

"Jubilee."

"If you can call her 'Lee' why can’t she call you 'Scotty'?"

"Because 'Scotty' makes me sound like I'm twelve!"

"Well, according to you, this scrunchie makes me look twelve. So I guess we're even, Scotty."

"I see why you and Jean are friends. You’re both evil."

"I called her evil not 10 minutes ago! Look at us, 'bonding' and all."

"Speaking of a 10 minutes ago, and that whole 'twelve' thing, I'm sorry."

"What do you mean?"

"Sorry for calling you twelve... and a wallflower. You seem... neat."

"Thanks... I think."

"Neat is a good thing."

"I'm kinda messy actually."

"I meant neat as in like- cool. Plus, you’re the first friend-ish person I've had that also wears glasses!"

You smiled at each other for a moment.

This was amusing.

He was amusing.

Unfortunately, someone popped the bubble encasing you and Scott. "Wow, 'friendish'? That's an upgrade from them low-key hating each other."

You whipped your head around to see Peter and Jean standing on the other side of the aisle, clearly having been observing and talking about you.

Scott spoke first. "How long have you two been standing there?"

"Long enough," Jean smiled. "You two get along."

"...So?" Scott asked.

"So, about an hour ago that seemed completely impossible."

An hour? That couldn’t be possible. "Wait, what time is it?"

Jean responded. "12:45, you’ve sure been chatting for a long time."

Scott cleared his throat and turned to you, "So, uh, you should buy that book, and then we should head to the movie theater room thingie."

You looked back at him. "Yeah! Ok, so... yeah."

After you and Scott walked away, Peter leaned over to whisper to Jean. "Well, that was a long glance. We've really gotta lock 'em in a closet together or something."

Jean shoved Peter, and you all went about your mall trip as you did before, except that now you might have a new friend... ish.

#tw swearing #scott summers x reader #x men #scott summers #tw eating #writer's block #am i right?#i really hope this is good #i did research on cars for this #also i know hank has glasses but him and scott aren't really friends they're more like a teacher student thing so shut up

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dcforts · 5 years ago

Text

[monday 4: bet]

ao3

Four times Eileen thought Dean and Castiel were more than friends and one time Sam (finally) saw it too.

Eileen likes the bunker. As a hunter you learn to be grateful and appreciative of things that others give for granted. Like waking up feeling safe, knowing that nothing can jump right through your window and attack you. Like pressing your cheek on a soft pillow without having to worry about bed bugs and filth. Like opening your bedroom door and smelling coffee.

She smiles and follows it right to the kitchen.

She doesn’t expect to find Castiel standing next to the coffee machine. He is in his usual attire, looking exactly as the last time she’s seen him. He looks up as soon as she enters and smiles politely at her. “Good morning” he says, “Would you like some coffee?”.

She smiles back, nods and waits for him to fill her a mug.

Then she sits at the table and watches as Dean appears on the door, his eyes sleepy, his hair messy, the belt of his robe loosely tied. He waves lazily in her direction then goes straight towards Castiel, holding out a hand to grab the mug that he was already offering him. No words between them, just soft smiles, as if it’s a thing they do every day. She has not been around the Winchesters that much but she is fairly sure she’s never seen a more content expression on Dean’s face.

He sits down next to her and closes his eyes, lost in the smell of the coffee.

“Good morning to me” she reads on his lips, with his eyes still closed, as if he’s talking to himself.

So, you know, Eileen is a very good observer. It’s a crucial skill for a hunter, especially someone who hunts alone and has no extra pair of eyes to rely on.

Later that day, Eileen and Sam are pressed against each other on a couch, both ignoring how “sharing a laptop” is a such a lame excuse for two adults to sit closely together. But whatever. Sam is showing her a restricted online archive about lore in European historical findings that he was able to crack into when she catches Dean passing by the door and she remembers about that morning.

“Sam,” she interrupts whatever he was saying on some magical old stones. “can I ask you a question?”

He nods. “Sure.”

“Castiel and your brother,” she signs, hoping that that’s enough input for Sam. Clearly it isn’t, because he keeps looking as if he’s expecting her to go on. “Are they… together?”

He frowns and ask: “Together? As in…?”

In response she signs: “Love.”

Sam has the funniest reaction. His face goes blank and he starts staring into the distance as if he’s processing a word he is not used to hear. He snaps out of it right when Eileen is wondering if she should wave a hand in front of his face. “No,” he says, “it’s not like that.”

She gives him a look as if to say “Please”.

“Really, they – they are like brothers.”

Eileen makes a disgusted face and signs: “Brothers?”

He makes an annoyed face back. “Yes. It’s not like that,” he repeats.

“They act like a couple,” she signs.

He shakes his head. “You are wrong.”

“It looks like there’s something more between them,” she insists in the face of his blunt denial. “Wanna bet?” she signs raising her eyebrows.

Sam frowns and signs: “I’m not betting on my brother.”

“Come on.” she says, then signs “If I win, I want you to cook for me.”

Sam laughs. “I can just do it. No need for any of this.”

She shakes her head and smiles: “Don’t worry, you will. When I win.”

ii.

They’ve been working like crazy, taking all kinds of jobs up and down the state. It’s tiring but as a team of four they can get it down in a fraction of the time it would take if they were on their own. Plus, it’s definitely more fun even if it feels like they barely have the time to put down their bags before something else comes up and they’re out of the bunker again.

This time, it looks like a simple enough job that could take two days top. Sam is checking their supplies once again and Castiel is sitting at the map table flipping through a magazine when Dean finally appears in the room.

“Alright, let’s go” he says clapping his hands together.

Sam looks up and makes an horrified face: “Wait. Dean, what are you wearing?”

“What? Oh, yeah. It’s a cowboy shirt.”

“You can’t wear that. With that thing on your shoulders. We are not going trick or treating.”

“Hey! Don’t insult the shirt.”

Eileen laughs at the exchange so Sam addresses her. “Eileen, please tell him.”

She just shrugs amused and Sam looks betrayed so Dean keeps going: “It’s not my fault we’ve been out all week and I didtn’t have time to do my laundry. This is the only clean thing I have left.”

“Well, you can’t come dressed like that. Just take one of mine.”

“You have freakishly long arms, Sam, I’m gonna look like I’ve shrunked in my clothes.”

Eileen turns to Castiel who seems engrossed in his magazine that has titles on the cover of the kind “Top 10 poisonous plants you can find in the jungle” right next to “What colours should you paint your garden shed”. It looks like he is used to it and knows that staying away from their arguments is the safest strategy to survive with the Winchesters. She taps him on his shoulder. “What do you think?” she signs, interrupting Dean and Sam who are still going at it.

Castiel looks up but Dean cuts him off before he can open his mouth: “Why are you asking him for? He has never changed once in his life.”

Castiel shoots him an annoyed look but doesn’t respond to the provocation. “Did you check the laundry room?” he says calmly instead.

Sam glances over his shoulder to look at him.

Dean just stares, seemingly confused.

“You always forget your clean clothes in the laundry room. There should be a red one that you haven’t wore this week yet. I assume it’s still there.”

Dean thinks about it for a few seconds, then nods: “Yeah, you’re probably right. Be right back.”

Castiel sighs and goes back to his magazine without another word.

Sam’s gaze meets Eileen’s. She raises her eyebrows and signs “Cute”.

Sam mouths back. “It means nothing”.

She just laughs and takes the stairs.

iii.

It’s a rainy afternoon and they are keeping busy cleaning their weapons and filling shotgun shells of rock salt. At some point Sam looks up from where he is sitting right next to Eileen.

“Hey Cas,” he says “remember that book that you were reading last week about sigils? I wondered if I could borrow that. I wanted to scan it and send it around to other hunters.”

“Sounds like a good plan. I’ll give to you later.”

“Oh, no, there’s no rush if you are still reading it.”

“It’s not bother. I’m not reading tonight anyway. I’m watching a movie with Dean.”

Dean, on the other side of the table, lifts his gaze for a moment at the sound of his name then goes back to his gun.

“O-okay, thanks.” says Sam.

Eileen meets his gaze briefly and holds back a smile.

Only when they are left alone she nudges him with an elbow and Sam knows immediately what she is going to address.

He grumbles: “They watch movies together all the time, they are friends!”

Eileen shakes her head. “But why haven’t they invited us?” she signs, then answers her own question: “Date night.”

“No, you don’t understand. Dean has been showing him all the stuff he doesn’t know.”

“I understand very well that I won the bet” she says challenging him.

Sam sighs and signs. “There is no bet. And it’s not like that.”

iv.

They are on a hunt. Well, actually they are at some kind of fair. The spirit they are chasing has shown up in all the towns that the travelling fair has hit in the past few months, so the safest bet is that it’s somehow hunting the place.

For now, they are just walking around in the crowd, keeping an eye out for anything suspicious. They have a duffel bag full of salt, shotguns and blades but from the outside they just look like four people that have come out to enjoy the fair on a fine evening.

Dean is in a very good mood. “I can’t believe they still do these things” was his comment on the way there and since they’ve arrived he has been complaining that he can’t stop at none of the games before the job is done. Eileen finds endearing the way he manages to protect that part of him that makes him excited for things like that even with the life he has. It’s not easy to reconcile the image of that man with sparkly eyes with the one she has seen swaying a machete a couple of days before.

“Hey!” he shouts at one point, jogging a few feet ahead of them and waving to get their attention. “Guys, look, it’s Cas!” He stops at one of the stands and grabs a tan teddy bear with a blue tie that is on display. Sam snorts and Dean keeps grinning like it’s the funniest thing ever and points at Castiel who has an expression on his face that seems to say Did we really stop for this? “It’s you!” Dean laughs again “I bet you didn’t know you had a twin, uh?”

“Alright, let’s go,” Sam tries to get them moving again and Dean jogs back up to them and falls in steps with Castiel.

Eileen looks his way in time to see him put his arm around Castiel’s shoulders and pull him close. His lips read: “What? It was adorable. Wanna win it for me later?”

She turns her face to look at Sam and finds him next to her.

“Adorable” she mouths at him. He rolls his eyes. “He just likes to joke”.

It happens again and again. Eileen looks pointedly at Sam when Dean pops into the kitchen to say “Me and Cas are going out. Need anything?” or when they find them engaged in a serious conversation or sharing a drink. She looks at him whenever Dean calls Castiel “Sunshine” and whenever Castiel asks “Where’s Dean?” before he even gets both of his feet in the room.

Sam dismisses every moment, finds every excuse for them. They’ve always been like that. Can’t two friends do it? Does it have to mean something? It’s just the way they are.

Now, Sam is in a sticky diner with his brother who is across from him and can’t seem to sit still. A couple of days before they got two calls in a matter of hours and they’ve gone north while Eileen has gone south. Coincidentally Cas has been contacted about a lead on God’s position so he’s gone too.

So it’s just the two of them again and Dean is tapping on the screen of his phone every two seconds as if he doesn’t trust that it will let him know if he has a new notification.

“Dude, what’s up with you?” snaps Sam when he can’t take anymore of his fidgeting.

“Cas.” he grumbles. “I texted him last night and I got no word back yet. We said we would check in with each other every night, so...” he frowns.

“I’m sure he is fine” Sam says, before thanking the waiter that brings them their food.

Setting down his plate his gaze falls on his own phone, and he is reminded of the last time he texted Eileen and she has taken a long time to reply. How he worried, how he needed to know she was fine. How he feels on his fingertips the need to type something to her right now. How he can’t wait to see her again.

He looks up at Dean who’s taking a bite of his burger.

“What?” he says with his mouth full in response to his staring,

Sam smiles a little. “Nothing.”

Dean takes another bite, still watching him so Sam sighs. “Dean,” he dares, “with Cas. I mean… is there…”

He gets interrupted by Dean’s phone lighting up with an incoming call. His brother drops his burger and picks it up without a care for his greasy hands.

“Finally.” He says, then presses it against his ear: “What did we say, uh? How many times I gotta tell you?” he barks in lieu of Hello.

Sam watches him while he listens to whatever Castiel is saying on the other end. He sees his forehead striped with worried lines relax by the second.

When Dean speaks again his voice is definitely softer. “You are an idiot, but alright. Yeah, we just got here,” the frown disappears and his voice goes quieter still, “Okay. Yeah, I’ll see you at home.” his eyes flicker to Sam and he clears his throat so when he speaks again his tone is back to normal. “Remind me to kick your ass for making me worry.”

Castiel says something back that Sam assumes sounds like You can try because Dean’s eyebrows rise comically. “What? You don’t think I can take you?” he says. “Yeah tough guy, anytime. Wanna bet?”

Sam tunes out. He touches his phone and opens up his conversation with Eileen. He types:

Alright, what do you want me to cook?

I am participating in the spnstayathomechallenge by @bend-me-shape-me @pray4jensen @helianthus21

#spnstayathome #monday 4: bet #deancas #destiel #deancas fanfiction #okay so 1 i really like 'like a bear dean'#2 i really like 'they are basically married deancas'#an unapologetic about it #no actual focus on sam and eileen even if in my head they are a thing in this one #saileen #hey look this one has a title #im making progress #i don't actually believe sam is this oblivious but i needed him to be #ive always wanted to write a 4 times + 1 kind of thing #i tried #deancas ficlet #deancas ficlets #my writing

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