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sleepinghypnos · 7 months ago

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The Creed...

Chapter 1 - Penthouse

Genre: Smut

Tags: F/M, F/F/M, F/F/F/M, Facefuck, Throatfucking Rough Sex, Dirty Talk, Harem, Self-degradation, Masochism/Sadism(?), Cum Play, Piss Play

(The things in the tags will be present when the time needs for it.)

Disclaimer: This work is a fan-fiction and does not depict the person/people mentioned in the story.

A/N: You can self-insert if you want...

Bzzt! Bzzt! Bzzt!

"What is it? I'm preoccupied, so make it quick." Vlad answered the call.

"Fine. Just send them to my house... but I will not be responsible if something happens to them." He replied with his slightly deep voice and end the call.

*Silenced Gunshot*

"Blame your competitor, not me." Vlad immediately packed up his sniper rifle and fled the scene while remembering what one of his close associates in the entertainment industry said few moments ago, he begged him to accommodate a number of female K-pop idols for the purpose of strengthening the bond between idols through a experimental project wherein they live together as Tenants, cameras will not be present just them living together and at the end of their time as tenants they will do an interview regarding the way of life living with other k-pop idols aside from their respective members. In this way, the fandoms of each k-pop group will stop fighting over trivial things on the internet and support other idols.

Vladimir Creed was a 26 year old Half-European and Half-American man. His parents died in a car accident when he was still a child and only his grandfather is his only family left. He's living a lavish lifestyle full of money, expensive cars and women...

His family or more like his grandfather founded a huge company in America and owns many stocks in the entertainment industry in Korea and since Vlad is not someone who actively makes himself noticeable or well-known, he parties without revealing his true identity to anyone with a few exception of course, he has few actual friends and all of them are also young masters of their own families just like he was and he rarely expresses his emotions so he has a hard time managing it.

In his typical days, he spends most of his time just relaxing in his penthouse, in which he bought himself with his own money. though it may seem strange since he parties every chance he get, he has a very unique talent and that is being a hired gun that even his grandfather didn't know.

And while relaxing, he usually goes naked after a shower because there is no one in the house, It's is personal space after all. His maids and butlers will only come if they were asked for and he cooks for himself.

His penthouse is in a small island near the coast and there is only one bridge connected to it. So, guests who'll visit the island can use the bridge without the need of boats.

...

Vlad arrived at his house but welcomed by cars parked near the main gate. "What the fuck is this?" He said to himself, he got out of his car to check what's going on then he remembered Eunseok, one of his close associates said few hours ago. "Now it makes."

Then he called one of the guards to let him pass, and so they did. He drove and the people blocking the path dispersed and he got in smoothly.

"Let them in, they are going to live here indefinitely." Vlad announced to the guards and went inside to change.

Most of the people outside the penthouse are already inside the living area, he saw the k-pop idols waiting for the master of the house.

"I'm Vladimir Creed, but you can call me Vlad. I'm the owner of this house, my friend already told me what you guys are going to do. So feel free live here." and he looked at managers of each of the group "There are places in the house that is not available, I don't care if they used the swimming pool, drink at the bar." Pointing at the wet bar near the kitchen. "Or anything, but, all of third floor is off limits because that's where my room is located."

The producer nodded and introduce the idols that will be living with him in the house.

He extended his hand for a handshake to ITZY's Yuna and Ryujin, Aespa's Karina and Winter, (G)-Idle's Soyeon and Miyeon, Red Velvet's Irene, Seulgi, and Joy, and Twice's Sana, Mina, and Nayeon which they received with a smile.

One day has passed, the girls are eating lunch in the long refectory table since they woke up late just like Vlad was and the maids and butlers were there to assist them.

After lunch, the Red Velvet and Twice members were gathered in the backyard, enjoying a beautiful sunny day by the pool. They were relaxing and chatting about their recent performances, when they suddenly heard a splash from the pool.

Curious, they all turned to see Nayeon filling up a water gun and aimed at them. Panic set in as they scream and run around the pool to avoid getting wet since they just want to enjoy the sun.

Running made them exhausted and they decided to have a friendly water fight. Joy and Seulgi teamed up against Sana and Mina, Nayeon and Irene. Laughter and screams filled the air as they chased each other around the pool, trying to get each other wet

In the living room, Ryujin and Karina were sharing a bucket of ice cream while watching a romantic K-drama. They were joined by Soyeon and Miyeon, who couldn't resist the delicious smell of the popcorn. They all cuddled under a blanket, enjoying the show and teasing each other about their favorite characters. Yuna and Winter are busy doing some tiktok challenge.

As the sun set, the members of ITZY, Aespa, and (G)-Idle joined their sun-kissed Seniors in the pool. They all gathered around the pool, sharing stories, and having a heart-to-heart conversation. For a moment, the backyard was filled with the sound of their laughter and friendship.

As the night came, they all gathered in the living room to watch a movie together. They munched on some snacks and cuddled on the couch, enjoying their time together. It was a perfect day off for all of them, a day filled with laughter, bonding, and memories that they will cherish forever.

Karina asked the butler where Vlad was and she was led to the study where he spends time if he's not doing anything.

When Karina entered the study, she was met with a tall, imposing figure staring at her from behind a large oak desk. Vlad's dark hair was slicked back, and he exuded a sense of power and mystery. Karina couldn't help but feel a pull towards him, she already know that this man is handsome the moment she land her eyes on him earlier in the morning.

"Um, Sir? I just want to asked if we can have some of the liquor in the wet bar." She asked while slowly approaching him.

"Didn't I told you girls that you can do whatever you want with the wet bar?" He answered and walked to towards her. "And you're asking me when you already half drunk."

Karina got embarrassed but it faded when a faint smile appeared on Vlad's lips, she was mesmerized. "Are you sure that's the reason why you're here?" he was close to her, Karina needs to look up just to meet his eyes.

Karina pulls him for a kiss and reciprocated it with the same intensity. It started as vanilla kissing until in turns into something like animals in heat and eventually began to make out with insane passion. Vlad grab her waist to pull her closer, her hands were hugging his neck.

He noticed she wanted more and so he obliged and brought one hand to feel up her breasts which made Karina moan between their kisses.

Their kiss was passionate, Vlad keeping her in his arms while she let herself be consumed by him. It lasted for few minutes until they both stopped quietly staring at each other.

"D-did you like it?" Karina said while catching her breathe.

"I did, your lips are sweet with a hint of whiskey... you really were half drunk." Brushing his thumb on her lips. "Want me to lead this time?" he asked her while caressing her face.

"Yes, please." Karina said.

“Do you think could handle it?” Vlad responded seemingly showing concern.

Karina nodded. “I did have my own few boyfriends before...”

“I won't doubt it but... I get rough. Really rough. I'm sure it's something you haven't experience before..."

“You are worrying about me and that's sweet but I think I'm gonna be fine... please don't hold back and just give it to me.” She said while making a serious face.

Vlad's hand roam towards her neck and stayed there and slowly gripping it. Her cunt throb as they kiss again and slowly stripping each other’s clothes off, his hands still in her neck slightly choking her.

As their bodies got liberated from their clothing, Vlad immediately attacks Karina's big breasts making her moan, her hands couldn't resist to push his head closer. His other hand goes to Karina's precious treasure and starts invading it.

"This fucking slutty tits of yours keeps leering people on." Vlad said while groping her breasts and assaulting them with his tongue...

"Fuck! Yes! It feels good, sir." Karina said.

Which made Vlad riled up even more. "Sir?" He stopped groping her breast.

"You don't like being called like that? I'll change it." She said while pleading to continue to pleasure her.

He doesn't like getting called Daddy/Oppa. The women he's been with keeps calling him that and he got bored by it, now he prefers to called by his name but this time around is different.

Sir? of all the things that someone can be called... Sir is the one getting him riled up.

"No, keep it that way... now get on your knees whore." Vlad said with a commanding aura. “I’m going to use your mouth as a fleshlight. Pull my cock out.”

Karina didn't expect the monster hiding beneath his pants. She could see the bulge of his massive cock. Now she knows why he said 'Something she haven't experience before.' because it's true. He is much bigger than the guys she's been with. So much bigger. She feels hotter and hotter than usual.

Vlad's dick stands proud at 10 inches and is almost girthy as a water bottle.

“You are so massive, fucking massive!” Karina said as she freed his cock and hit her in the face. She stare at his huge member mesmerized by it.

“My god! Why are you so big? Can you even use this?” She said as she grabbed his cock with with both hands. "And you're going to use my mouth with this thing?"

"What? Are you scared? I told you I'm rough and I mean it." He said seriously. "You are going to take every inch of my cock in your throat whether you like it or not."

Karina got nervous but her lust towards him is much heavier.

She showered his cock with kisses, admiring every inch, as if she's worshipping his massive member.

"Suck it." And she did, she gives him a slow and sensual blowjob, keeping her eyes on him.

"You came in her just to do that?"

“What do you mean, Sir?”

He grabbed her by the hair she opened her mouth and swallowed as much of him as she possibly could.

COUGH COUGH COUGH

Relaxing her throat as she let his girthy cock push through her throat. She struggled for a minute and he's watching her giving herself to him.

Vlad guides her and she bobbed her head up and down to see how deep she could take him over and over and over again. Her eyes were tearing up, saliva dripping down as she takes his girthy cock in her throat.

She taps his legs but Vlad ignored her protests and stayed in her throat. "I told you, I'm rough... you don't know what you get yourself into."

He is fucking her throat with reckless abandon and not caring if she can still breathe. Few seconds more and he let go and she breathe hastily. "Sh-shit! I almost passed out." She coughs. "Fuck!"

"Just accept your role as my slut from now on." He slaps her face with his massive heavy cock.

He forced his cock back into her throat. She gives in, letting this man use her mouth and throat as a fleshlight. Her eyes were rolled back into her head.

GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK

Her moaning and gagging sounds filled the study, the moonlight touches her silky white skin enhancing her beauty further while her throat is getting violated. Even though she already accepted her fate, she still needs to breathe and she tried to struggle for air but failed.

“MMMPPHKKKK!” She resists and got ignored.

“Just stay there, don't regret your decisions now.” Vlad said and spent another three seconds before letting Karina go.

She chokes and gags even though she's already freed from that monster of a cock. “Did I... do a good job, Sir?” She asked noticeably exhausted. She then received another batch of throatfucking and this time, it's much easier but it still hurts.

GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK

She's taking it like a good little slut, moaning and groaning every time Vlad thrusts too deep in her throat. Karina became accustomed to the massive rod destroying her tight throat and she slowly but surely loving the way he manhandle her without any care about her well-being.

"I'm cumming you little slut!" He said and starts speeding up in his assaults. After all of this, he gave her some leeway and pull his cock out of her mouth. "Want to drink it?"

“YES! T-thank you, feed me your c-cum! Please sir, I'm begging you!!!” She said before he shoved his cock back into her mouth again.

Vlad reached his climax and poured it all in Karina's throat, he releases an obscene amount of cum like he's been holding it for long while. She willingly swallow every bit of it. Few ropes of his cum left in her mouth, she put on a show by gurgling, swirling her tongue cover of his cum then swallowing it.

“Oh my god... fucking hell... that was heavenly!” She said as she crawled over to him and started to lick his shaft cleaning it. “I need to be treated like that again, Sir. Please! You are right, I never experienced that before..”

"Oh, That's only the beginning little slut." He said while grabbing her in the neck and pulling her up.

A/N: Another Series that I might abandon but... oh well. I planned on doing the Bodyguard EP. 6 but idk when to actually do it.

#kpop smut #smut #kpop fic #itzy smut #aespa smut #kpop #red velvet smut #twice smut #(g)-idle smut #karina smut

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oepionie · 2 years ago

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— "A SLIP OF TONGUE." draconia

SYNOPSIS: Some arranged marriage crumbs with Malleus <3

⊹ [ cw ] — arranged marriage, reader wears dress◞

⊹ [ tags ] — a drabble, fem! reader, malleus is described to have draconic features, draconic rizz◞

⊹ [ w.c ] — 0.8k+◞ | 🦇masterlist◞

IT WAS A DUTY you must see through to the end. The Merryweathers had a high standing in society and it was crucial that you, the eldest daughter, married into a powerful family. You would be able to strengthen your position with the nobility through such union.

It was such a tantalizing preposition that you couldn't help yourself. Even if it meant begrudgingly marrying a man your father chose for you.

The diamond-encrusted headpiece threaded into your hair weighed heavy, strenuous on your neck, and dreadfully difficult to move around with. Ten layers of fine white silk and lace rest against your form, draping and swaying against the breeze of the damp garden. If not for your current situation, the day would have been perfect.

The upcoming wedding had pushed the entire Draconia palace into a state of barely controlled chaos and turmoil. In every second of the day, you were flooded with dress fittings, laced wedding invites, nosy handmaidens, and many more. The courtyard outside the castle was the only place you could get away from the wedding festivities.

It was peaceful, free from the thundering demands of the queen and bare of any busy-bee maids and workers.

The air smelled pleasantly of wildflowers and moss. Small sunbeams found their way through your braided hair, sparkling and reflecting off of the jewels in your crown.

The year had passed in a blur and before you knew it, it was spring.

"Dearest?" Startled, you almost sprang out of your skin. Turning round, you found Malleus standing by the garden entrance. He was dressed in a dark gothic suit, a thick tailcoat layered atop. "I was wondering where you'd gone off to."

It was fortunate, you thought, that you had a veil draped across your face. Because the moment he began to approach you, your jaw went slack, mouth running dry. With each thundering step of his boots, your head hammered and your thoughts melted into mush.

The distance between you was quickly closed as he towered over you, the front of his torso brushing against yours. Bowing his head low, your fiancé's dark eyes briefly swept over your figure, devouring the savory sight of your form draped in the flowy dress. Though hesitant, you mustered the courage to address him and bowed.

Malleus' eyes bore into yours as he trailed a leather clad hand down your arm, taking a hold of your wrist and lifting it to his lips. It was commonly known that noblemen tended to avoid showing affection in public as they had to maintain a proper image. So you were perplexed to see him displaying such open adoration towards you.

"My bride," he murmurs, voice baritone and deep, rumbling his chest. The fae could see how you trembled in his presence, an apprehensive smile stretched across your lips. "How are you fairing?"

"I…I am well." Cursing yourself for the uncertainty lace in your voice, you drew your hand back, gaze stone cold as you toyed with the edges of your robes. "I am just…just trying to process everything right now."

"I see," was his flat response.

The draconic prince was all what people had horrifyingly depicted him as. Tall, dark, imposing, and frightfully powerful. And yet, in all the ways he was intimidating and overpowering, he was beautiful.

There the sound of a faintest swish as his scaled tail brushed against the lush grass. Translucent grey scales glistened on the skin of his arms, and his eyes were a dazzling jade that sparkled green when you peered into them. His fingers were claw-like, and his nails were black as obsidian.

Before you could stop yourself, your lips move on its own, a sugared yet genuine compliment dripping from your tongue.

"You're…beautiful."

Then there is silence.

Malleus shakily exhales, his eyes skimming over your form, wide and gleaming with suppressed excitement.

You on the other hand, are terrified, horrified, by the slip of the tongue, and you rush to explain yourself. A stream of explanations tumble off your lips. Though you were unable to make sense of what you were even saying, it was more like the rambles of madman.

"Beautiful, hm?" Malleus grins, fangs shining underneath beams of sun. He slots himself closer to your body, a strong arm wrapping itself around your waist. Your mind is dizzy and you find comfort in tucking your face into the crook of his neck. The sound of his amused chuckle rumbles against your burning cheeks as he utters his gratitude.

"It-It was a slip of tongue, I didn't mean to-" You stammer but Malleus presses the pad of his finger against your glossy lips, shutting you up. He leans in close, the scent of his cool cologne filling your senses as his hands knead the flesh of your hips. "Oh, I'm sure it was, my queen."

Sevens help you.

—TAGLIST:

꒰ ♡🧷: if you want to be tagged for ALL of my works, comment here!

@keedas @spadecentral @crypticbibliophile @pastellepastary @cassidycampfire @cocomollo @poisonioushearts @kawaiipotatoghost @ramvuda @sweeneyblue1 @the-lost-anime-dad @kyraxiyn @mayaaaeo @fluffimemes @awkwardspontaneity @gussuri@lunavixia @heatofmyexoheart @pianopuppygirl @cross-crye @cerisescherries @teenage-discomfort @cecilebutcher @savanaclaw1996 @msykaroly @a-bit-late @peter-the-pan993 @imdevotedtoyou @yevenly @syl-lithy @solomonslostsock @noidonothavetimeforthis @driftaway27 @supernovaicloud @skadi-winterfell

#twisted wonderland fanfic #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #malleus draconia #malleus draconia x reader #malleus x reader

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heehoonieluvs · 1 year ago

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Gimme attention

Jake x reader

Slight angst, smut

The way that the members are depicted in this story has nothing to do with how they really are or how I feel they are. It is all solely for the storyline so please bear that in mind 🫶

Summary: Ever since Jake had finished his promotions, he had been spending time gaming which lead to a mini argument. You had been giving him the silent treatment since and NOW he wants your attention on him

Warnings: MDNI, arguments, cursing, pet names, oral (f receiving), french kissing, dry humping, unprotected sex (please let me know if I need to add anymore 🤍)

Masterlist

It had been an hour after yours and Jake’s argument which had led to you storming your way to your shared room. You understood that gaming was one of Jake’s favourite ways to spend his time during his free days, but you were completely touch starved and needed some of his attention.

Flashback

“Jakey! I made dinner!” you called from the kitchen

No response

“Jakey?!” You called a second time

Still no response. You sighed at the lack of response from your boyfriend. He and the boys had recently just finished their promotions from their current comeback and ever since, Jake had been locked in his gaming room, playing online with his band mates. Of course you would never stop him from gaming, but 1. He basically acted like you weren’t there and 2. He would forget to have a break to eat

There was no other choice but for you to take the food to him and let him eat in his room while you ate alone in the kitchen… again.

As you made your way up, you could hear him shouting in his mic at someone for killing him. You knew there was no point in knocking with the volume he was screaming at so you let yourself in.

When you approached him, you placed the plate of food on the side of his table and reached over his shoulder to kiss him on the cheek

Jake was startled from the action as he didn’t hear you come in, but he turned to you and moved the left side of his headphones.

“Hey puppy I made you something to eat” you said to him with a small smile and another peck on his lips

“Not now Y/N. Can you please just let me finish this round? We’re losing right now” he responded before turning back to his screen.

You were in disbelief by his reaction. You knew that he was already a competitive person but to talk to you like that when you were doing something nice for him???

“Are you being serious right now Jaeyun? I spent all day preparing your favourite food and brought it to you so you won’t starve and now you dismiss me as if I’m your maid or something? Who do you think you are?” You snapped at him

He obviously was taken aback but he spoke into his mic before pausing the game and responded “Yea but I didn’t ask you to do that for me did I? I was going to come down later to eat. You don’t need to make a fuss when I’m completely fine with eating dinner reheated” followed by a big sigh

From the way you scoffed and let out a slight chuckle, he knew he had just fucked up

“Did you really just say that to me? I made you food, not out of obligation, but because I care about you and now you say that I’m making a fuss? Well I’m so sorry that I wanted to be a good girlfriend that took care of her boyfriend who wouldn’t even spare her a glance. The last time I didn’t make you food, you were up gaming till 5am and made yourself ramen before going to bed. Does that really seem healthy to you?” You didn’t care if his teammates could hear you through his headset but he clearly did since he quickly turned to mute himself

“And I’m grateful for that baby but you don’t need to babysit me though. I’m absolutely fine with taking care of myself. Can I not just have some time to myself to play online? I’ve been waiting for so long to relax after the hectic schedule and want to be alone” he sighed

“Have I not been leaving you alone to play for the past week? I haven’t been ‘bothering’ you except to get you to eat since you forget to do it yourself. And I know that you’ve been waiting to play since schedules ended but I’ve been waiting for months to have a little time to have you to myself. Is that so much to ask for? You’ve been away for so long and all I wanted was your attention but you barely even acknowledge me before heading to this room. But you know what? If you want to be left alone then fine. I’ll leave you alone.” You didn’t let him say anything back as you stormed out

End of flashback

You were currently lying on your stomach on the bed while scrolling through Tiktok and you could only assume that Jake had returned to his gaming to cool off from the previous shouting match. Tears of frustration were pooling at your waterline as you scrolled on your phone but you quickly wiped them away when a faint knock came from the bedroom door

“Baby can I come in?”

You didn’t want to respond as you knew he’d hear you choke up so you remained silent. Either way, the bedroom door opened behind you and you could hear shuffling towards you.

“I’m so sorry from how I’ve been acting baby. I’ve been really inconsiderate of your feelings and I’m so lucky to have someone like you who’s willing to still care about me after all that” he mumbled. You could hear the pout in his voice as he apologised but you weren’t ready to forgive just yet

He got no response from you but he was still determined to let you know how sorry he was. He crawled up the bed from behind you and hovered over your figure. Your body was trapped between his thighs as he leaned down to press lots of kisses to your puffy cheeks that he adored so much. There was no reaction from you that he craved for so he leaned further down to try and kiss you on the lips. But you saw him coming closer and moved your head away. He was hurt by your reaction but understood that you were upset so he carried on pecking your cheek and jawline

“Bubba? Please don’t ignore me. I’m really really sorry and I promise I’ll spend a lot more time with you, just like you deserve. I miss you too, so much. Please don’t take my stupidity and what I said earlier to think that I don’t want you around me, because I really do need you” he said sweetly into your ear before placing a peck

There was still no response as you carried on scrolling on your phone so he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck and let out a whine “Please talk to me bubby. You can shout at me and tell me how much of a dickhead I am. Just please let me hear your sweet voice. I don’t like it when you ignore me”

The pecks he littered onto your neck slowly became wet open mouth kisses on your sweet spot. He wanted, no needed you to pay attention to him. Your silence was absolute torture to him and he couldn’t stand you being mad at him. So he was determined to get you to forgive him.

As he moved back and sat of his knees that were still caging your legs, you thought he had given up and decided to leave you to have a breather. Not like it stopped you from staring at the device in your hands. At this point you were just scrolling out of boredom

Jake had been looking at the back of you with a pout. Why won’t you give him attention?!? He knew he deserved it as this was payback for ignoring you for the past week. But he was going to get you to talk to him again. Just you wait.

His eyes trailed down your figure. You were wearing his favourite look on you. His oversized sweater, some booty shorts that teased the bottom of your round ass cheeks that he so desperately wanted to sink his teeth into, topped of with some white thigh high socks that accentuated your delicious thighs perfectly. God just looking at you made him so fucking hard that it hurt. If he wasn’t gonna get you to talk to him, he was going to make you moan for him.

He slowly shuffled his way down your body and settled himself so his hands and face were between your spread legs. His hands dragged their way up the back of your thighs and pulled on the elastic of your thigh highs. When they snapped back onto your skin, you slightly flinched and he let out an airy chuckle.

He couldn’t help but stare at your covered crotch in front of him as he massaged the back of your legs. You never wore underwear under your clothes at home which he loved, so he could see the outline of your pussy through the material. And since your shorts were so small, the minimal material wedged between your ass cheeks was so close to exposing what he had been dying to taste.

He brought his nose to where your opening would be and took a big inhale of your scent. He groaned at your addictive smell and went in for another whiff. Who needs oxygen when he could live off breathing your scent right?

He ran his nose up and down your crotch before motor boating your ass cheeks. You so desperately wanted to let out a moan but you didn’t want to give him any reactions. He had to work for it.

He could sense that you were holding back so he hooked his finger on the crotch of your shorts and pulled it to the side, exposing your bare pussy. Without wasting any time, he flattened his tongue onto your pussy and ate you out like a madman. His tongue flicked across your swollen clit and stuck it deep into your wet cunt.

You tried to hold back your moans by biting your bottom lip but it was getting too difficult to stay silent. So you let it all out with a moan of his name

��Oh fuck puppy that feels so good holy shit. Fuck me with that tongue oh my god” you moaned out and brought your knees up to arch your back.

The new angle helped Jake to grab onto your ass and pull you onto his hot tongue. He pulled away and grabbed onto the crotch of your shorts again. He then used the fabric between your pussy lips and pulled it up to create friction onto your clit. The rubbing sensation felt so good and you could feel yourself gushing even more. Jake’s mouth stayed open with his tongue slightly poking out as he carried on tugging the fabric.

All of a sudden, you felt him crawl back up and his weight caged you again as he started to grind his hard erection into your clothed centre. He hooked his chin over your left shoulder and started to let out the most pornographic moans into your ear.

“Please baby can I put it in?” He whimpers pathetically

“Hmm I don’t think you deserve it” you teased. You wanted to see just how desperate he could get by denying him

Jake let out a cry of defeat at he carried on grinding onto you desperately. At this point he wanted to fuck you so bad that he was close to cumming in his pants. The humping didn’t slow down and he angled his hips perfectly so you felt his entire length grind up your pussy through his joggers

“Please please please I need to fuck you princess. Please? I wanna make you feel good”

“Ok puppy. Fuck me”

Jake grinned widely as he pulled your shorts off and stripped himself. You looked over your shoulder to watch him and giggled at his eagerness. When he hovered over you, he grabbed your chin and went in for a wet kiss. Your tongues tangled with each other, fighting for dominance. Because of your awkward angle, Jake used it to his advantage and stuck his tongue into your mouth. He sucked on your tongue and pulled it out of your mouth so you could both wiggle your tongues together.

He pulled away, leaving a trail of a saliva that connected yours mouths, before tugging on your puffy bottom lip with his teeth. As he looked into your eyes, he sucked on his fingers before using them to open your tight hole. The wet tightness caused his mouth to hang open at the feeling

“God baby you’re always so tight for me. I’m gonna fuck you so good and make up for the time I’ve been wasting away from you” he moaned as he pumped his dick and lined up to your entrance.

As he sunk in, the both of you moaned out loud together.

“Fucking hell you feel so good baby. Look at me as I fuck you. Let me see those beautiful eyes” his words were slurred as he carried on fucking you

When you looked over your shoulder and locked eyes with him, his mouth was wide open, letting out his gorgeous moans and his eyebrows were furrowed together

“God I missed this baby. I miss you so much. I’m so sorry for being a shit boyfriend. I should’ve been spending my time buried in you and fucking you just like you deserved. I’ll worship your body like the goddess that you are”

“Oh puppy fuck me faster. Yes. Yes”

Jake broke the eye contact to squeeze his eyes shut and the sight of his pleasure pushed you closer towards the edge.

“Oh fuck puppy I think I’m gonna cum”

“Cum for me my angel. Cum for me. I’m gonna fill you up to the brim till your leaking with my cum and I’ll fuck it back into you”

You could feel a warm sensation bubbling in your stomach as he pounded perfectly into your g spot. Suddenly a wave of overwhelming pleasure washed over you as he buried himself deep into your pussy and filled you up. The two you were shaking as you rode out your orgasms. His sweaty chest and abs rubbed against your back and you could feel his racing pulse from the adrenaline.

As your orgasms started to die down, he grabbed your chin to face him again and started to peck all over your face while whispering about how well you did for him

“You’re so perfect princess. My precious baby. I promise I’ll make it up to you ok. I love you so much” he mumbled and pressed multiple kisses on your lips

“I forgive you bubba. And I love you too” you said between his kisses “Please can we stay like this for a bit?”

He rubbed the tip of your noses together and leaned down to kiss your neck

“Of course my princess. Anything for you”

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yurimother · 4 years ago

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LGBTQ Light Novel Review — I'm in Love with the Villainess

A stunningly profound, entertaining, and queer title that eclipses other isekai and Yuri series

There are few titles the general public seems to be as excited about as Inori and Hanagata's I'm in Love with the Villainess, as it has been sitting at or near the top of Amazon's LGBT Manga list for months and Twitter is consistently abuzz with the latest news on this isekai Yuri series. I was somewhat more skeptical, as I have had relatively poor experiences with isekai and fantasy Yuri. Still, my excitement went through the room, and I eagerly boarded the "hype train" upon the cover reveal for the third volume. Yuri families, where two women raise children together, are one of my greatest desires and something I rarely see portrayed in the genre. However, I still had mostly low expectations for the series going into the first volume. I looked forward to some light meandering comedy and typical boring trope-filled isekai shenanigans. However, I'm in Love with the Villainess more than exceeded my expectations. No, even this statement is far too moderate to describe how utterly stunned and blown away I was by Inori's creation. I'm in Love with the Villainess is completely shattering and easily one of the greatest light novels I have ever read. Thus, I have no choice to award a perfect 10/10 score, my first ever for a light novel.

After waking up in the world of her favorite otome game, Revolution, protagonist Rae is ecstatic to be faced to face with Claire Francois, the game's villainous rival. However, Rae never played Revolution for the thrill of romancing any of the three attractive young princes. She was always in love with Claire. She attends the academy and studies magic in the fantasy world alongside Claire, the princes, and various other supporting characters. Using her skills from the modern world and her encyclopedic knowledge of Revolution, Rae manipulates the situation to be close to Claire, becoming her maid, and garnering status and money along the way. As an inevitable conflict looms closer, Rea begins to enact plans to protect herself and Claire, many of which are not fully understood or explained until the finale fantastically reveals the reasons for her actions. There is a natural and steady pace to the narrative that awards readers’ predictions and attention to detail.

I'm in Love with the Villainess has some excellent supporting characters, all of whom have unique personalities, histories, and abilities, some of which are revealed by Rae's exposition and others naturally throughout the novel. However, the stars of the show are the central couple, Rae and Claire. Claire is an elite aristocrat and extremely bratty. She often sneers at commoners and makes her disdain of Rae very clear from early on. On paper, she sounds like the perfect villain and someone all readers would despise. However, Rae's utter devotion and infatuation with Claire is so sincere that we cannot help but be pulled in and adore Claire and all her tantrums. Rae is a delight herself, continually flirting and poking fun at Claire, which gets her verbally berated, much to her masochistic pleasure. However, she is also exceptionally cunning and intelligent, and some of the light novel's greatest joys are listening to her analyze a situation or watching one of her plans fall into place.

“Ah, I’m… Well, it doesn’t matter. I mean, it’s irrelevant to cuteness—because, Miss Claire, you are cute.” “Huh?!” She pulled away. It was perfect—such a pure reaction. “Miss Claire, you hate me, right?” “Of course!” “That’s fine. Please keep teasing me. I love it.”

The beginning of the book does not immediately clue one into its brilliance. Sure, Claire and Rea get some great one-liners as they bully each other, and the scenarios are authentic and fun, but it is nothing shattering. I was feeling pretty relaxed and having a lot of fun with the characters, their relationship, and the various slice-of-life style scenarios they encountered until one section, I remember the exact page, 81, as it stopped me dead in my tracks. I was flabbergasted and briefly frozen before shooting up out of bed, shouting expletives as I ran to my office to immediately record what I had just experienced. It all begins with the line, "Hey, Rae. Are you what they call gay?" What followed was one of the most thoughtful, condensed, informative, and nuanced discussions of gay and queer identity (both terms used in this scene) I have ever seen in Yuri. Everything from representation in media, the perceptions of and prejudices against gay people, and the role gender plays in romance for bisexual and gay people are analyzed. Its commentary is succinct yet so respectful and forthright that it could have only come from genuine experience, thus selling the book and its characters so much more.

"Queer people were still overwhelmingly closeted in this world, which was rife with prejudice and nurtured little understanding. As I noted, the queer people depicted in the story were either the sex fiends Claire imagined or the free-loving sort Lene had in mind. Diversity and acceptance were a long way off.”

Thus, Inori's writing's beauty exposed itself, and the book opened itself up to a delightful cycle. The narrative masterfully integrates isekai slice-of-life hijinks, like running a cross-dressing café or battling a giant slime with nuanced and challenging moments that dissect complicated topics. The latter mainly consists of a growing rift between the aristocracy and common people, mirroring real-world wealth gap issues, but the novel also touch on matters such as unequal prison sentencing and segregation. Every scene helped further the complexity of the characters and their relationships or else built onto the world of Revolution. Speaking of which, I'm in Love with the Villainess has some of the best worldbuilding ever seen in a light novel.

Initially, brief exposition establishes much of the world, which is adequate if not exciting. I will mark up to a casualty of the light novel's serialized nature, as it must present readers its setting immediately. However, Inori does not stop here. Through the narrative, new elements are established, such as a magic system and the kingdom's politics. Rea notes and describes how the world, while clearly based on medieval Europe, has many modern Japanese attributes, as Japanese game developers created it. Her pointing out the intersection of the two is fascinating. Furthermore, A great deal of time is spent establishing characters and organizations all have their own wants, agendas, and methods, many of which are not even directly involved with the story. Instead, they act as a background and help further contextualize others. For example, the Church publicly appears to lean towards supporting the commoners in their efforts for equality but has its own agenda of superseding the nobility. While they play little role in Rea and Claire’s adventure, they are one of numerous factors contributing to the unrest of the lower class. All these additions are interesting, and it never feels like the story or characters suffer for their inclusion, quite the opposite.

“The Bauer Kingdom had started a step behind other countries when it came to magical research. They dominated the surrounding countries in military strength, and this had made them complacent, leading them to underestimate the value of new magic technology until the best researchers had all been enticed to other countries. Even after the king came up with his magic-focused meritocratic policy, Bauer lagged behind.”

I can only make complaints by scraping the very bottom of the barrel. Hanagata's beautiful art is too infrequent to add much to the light novel, and many scenes crying for illustrations are left to the readers' imagination. However, Inori so wonderful writes the story that one hardly cares and can easily picture every moment with delight. Besides, the manga adaption will nullify this issue. Where I cannot complain at all is the spectacular translation by Jenn Yamazaki and Nibedita Sen, one of Seven Seas best (which is high praise considering the competition). Sure, I was slightly disappointed at first to see the adaptation left off honorifics, but the more I thought about the setting, the more sense it made. I am sure people much smarter than I gave the issue much more consideration, and I am happy with their decisions.

I'm in Love with the Villainess left me reeling with how pleasurable and powerful it was. The story and characters are such a joy, and I cannot wait to see Rea and Claire bully each other again in the next volume. Astounding worldbuilding and powerful, thought-provoking politics surround their antics and the high stakes plot. Every moment of their journey will enthrall readers as they squeal with glee at its hilarious set pieces or are shocked by its commentary of society's most significant challenges. Inori has created one of the most delightful, heartfelt, complex, profound, and genuinely queer light novel series ever. If you only read one thing I recommend this year, let it be I'm in Love with the Villainess.

Ratings: Story — 9 Characters — 10 Art — 5 LGBTQ — 10 Sexual Content — 2 Final — 10

Review copy provided by Seven Seas Entertainment

Purchase I’m in Love with the Villainess in digitally (9/23) and in print (11/10) today: https://amzn.to/32NEyG1

Supports creators by purchasing official releases.

#yuri #lgbt #lgbtq #reviews #lgbtq+#i favor the villainess #i'm in love with the villainess #girls love #gay #queer #light novel #manga #gl #politics #feminism

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downtonabbeyrevisited · 4 years ago

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Season Two Episode Two

Following a typically chaotic opener, Episode Two of Season Two strikes a far more sombre tone. The arrival of Henry Lang as Robert’s valet brings the first of this episode’s three plot points that address the impact of WW1 on the mental health of its soldiers. There is nothing funny to say about either shell-shock or suicidal ideation both of which are vast, complex issues that, for my money, Downton Abbey isn’t the vehicle explore in (because they require more time and depth than the pace of the plot in Season Two affords) and it certainly isn’t my place to make light of them in this rather irreverent corner of the internet. So I’m going to have a go at treading a fine line here. Forgive me if I stumble.

Lang is clearly in the grips of something awful and yet in an attempt to avoid the indignity of having maids in the dining room, he is bumped up to footman duty. He struggles throughout, culminating in him depositing his cargo on Edith’s dress. Mrs O’Brein has firmly taken Lang under her wing, recognising that he is struggling and offers him assurance and comfort that she has never gifted to Thomas.

Across the Village, Lieutenant Edward Courtenay is in the hospital having been blinded by gas. The use of gas (both chlorine and mustard) had a devastating impact on soldiers in WW1 but was also the root of the development of Zyklon B. Frtiz Haber, a German Jewish chemist, enabled chlorine gas to be used a weapon in WW1 and his research was later developed into the Zyklon process which was used by the Nazis to murder millions, including his own family. This is only one of a dizzying number of appalling ironies to be found in the World Wars but as I said last episode, I’m not a military historian so I’m going to leave it there. Edward had plans to return to the country after his graduation from Oxford to pursue the simple life (although one gets the feeling that his idea of the pursuit of a simple life will still be one that is very well upholstered). Thomas has taken it upon himself to read Edward’s letters to him and together with Sybil is helping him to adjust to living life with a different set of parameters. But growing pressure on the hospital’s limited capacity means that he is to be transferred elsewhere. All three voice their dissent at varying volumes to Major Clarkson who falls back on the very real backlog of wounded men. After Edward has died, Major Clarkson, Isobel and Sybil talk about a renewed need for the Abbey to become a convalescent home, an idea that has been bubbling under the surface for a while now. Meanwhile, Thomas has been left on his own to process both Edward’s death and the implications of witnessing a lack of support given by his own physician to those with depression.

The usually reliably jovial Mrs Patmore also has a more somber episode with her pursuit for the truth about the death of her nephew Archie. Robert finds that he has been shot for cowardice. Not only does this mean that her family is in mourning but they will now have to navigate the stigma and undue shame that came with having a relative die in this way. So entrenched in British life was the derision levelled at those who were shot for cowardice or desertion that it was only in 2006 that pardons were offered by Britain for 309 of those that were executed by firing squad during WW1. I know I said I’d leave it there with the military history, but that felt like an important bit of context.

We are now in 1917 and Matthew is still in the same trench that he was in 1916 (a detail I hadn’t actually noticed until I got the screen cap for this) so it looks like his strategy of downing tools mid-fight and continuously popping back to Blighty for important plot developments isn’t really paying dividends. Perhaps the addition of William to the ranks will help him? William certainly seems to think so and if the speed at which he moves through the various stages of his ‘relationship’ with Daisy is any indication of his tactical prowess, the British Front will not only be well within Germany’s borders but will be breathing down Russia’s neck in a fortnight. In any other episode, this would certainly get the award for oddest relationship dynamic but Sir Richard Carlisle exists.

Sir Richard makes his debut at Downton, having been introduced in name only in the previous episode. He and Mary met at Cliveden which is a regular haunt of mine, giving me hope that one day I too will from a strategic alliance with a newspaper magnate. He may know how to talk his way around a boardroom but he is lacking in the sartorial department. Whilst Sir Richard manages to avoid catching fire in his tweed, Lavinia is not free from the heat as he threatens her with his connection to her uncle. He may not know much about navigating the niceties of Downton, but at least he has cottoned on to the fact that any major disagreement should occur under a specific tree. Whilst Mary’s signature move is weeping into her gloves, Sir Richard’s is grabbing women by the forearm. A female friend of mine told me that one of her favourite things about the pandemic and the compulsion to keep 2m away from anyone (and not just emotionally) is that she has not been ’steered’ by a male hand on her lower back since 2019. It turns out that she can enter and exit rooms just fine on her own and I get the impression that Lavinia could get the gist of Sir Richard’s rage without the vice like grip of a man probably about twice her age.

Twinned with the ’tree of emotional conflict’, the ‘platform of romantic uncertainty’ provides the backdrop for Sir Richard’s proposal of marriage to Mary which is a declaration that really feels like it should come with a series of well-formatted charts. Mary’s heart, however, is still very much with Cousin Matthew. After being counselled by Carson in a type of conversation I cannot imagine her ever having with her father, she is on the verge of coming clean with Matthew. But in the second round of Lavinia vs. Mary, Lavinia declares that she ‘could not go on living’ without Matthew and Mary winds her neck in.

Also having a romantic entanglement this episode is Edith. Drake, previously of dropsy fame, has lost his farm hands and Edith turns up to offer her help in a wildly unsuitable trouser and heeled boot combo. But she soon gets down to it by pulling up a tree stump and flirting in a barn whilst a rather lovely border collie looks on (I’m currently trying to talk myself out of getting a border collie and this incident has done nothing to help things). After showing Drake that she can drink from a bottle like literally every single other human on the planet, the two share a kiss and some highly awkward dialogue that only slightly resembles ‘Carry on Downton’.

Whilst Edith is more than happy to crack on in a barn, Mr Molesley is much more backwards about coming forwards. Apparently having predicted the creation of ‘The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society’, he figures that a book is the perfect kindling for romance when you exist in a glossy depiction of the past. Sadly neither Elizabeth nor her German garden can lure Anna from Bates who is fast shaping up to be schrodinger’s boyfriend. Anna proceeds to make some odd analogy where she compares Mr Bates to her moon-based child, revealing a rather unhealthy amount of codependency in that particular relationship.

Romantic declaration of the moment

Again, it feels like anyone but Sybil and Branson should get this but I am an agent of chaos and here we are. Branson defends Sybil’s will to work and has ample opportunity to see her shine in her chosen field. The admission that she will not be returning to her old life is a little chink of light that Branson basks in.

Expressive eyebrow of the week

I nominate Carson’s entire face when he realises that he has taken on too much and goes an impressive shade of red. As Carson frets about spoons, sauce, and something I can’t quite fathom, he starts to resemble a man who is re-arranging the deckchairs on the Titanic. Carson’s battle to get a cork out of a bottle and knocking into chairs is a warm up to his rather dramatic collapse which is accompanied by a pretty disturbing groan. Sybil springs to action and he is soon efficiently ensconced in his own quarters.

Wait, what?

“I got a lot done on the train” Clearly Richard was on a train that was unencumbered with the wifi issues that plague the Pendolino.

“It takes a good deal more than that to shock me.” Mary’s shock-o-meter is a pretty odd instrument. It is unresponsive to corpses of diplomats but goes into absolute meltdown at the notion that she might have to live in a cottage.

“Let's hope my reputation will survive it.” I’ve not checked (and I categorically never will) but I would put money on the fact that someone has created a rarepair out of this.

“How can Matthew have chosen that little blonde piece?” Is Lavinia blonde? Women’s hair is not really my forte but I would have thought she was more akin to Tim Minchin than 1998 Justin Timberlake.

“I believe in this war. I believe in what we are fighting for.” William seems to have a better grip on what all of this is about than I ever did in high school history. The ‘A’ that eluded me is heading his way.

“I thought he might've died for love of you.” How I love snipey Thomas. It’s good to have him back. To borrow a quote from Bottas (another man who is currently living a life in which his destiny is his own demise) ‘traditions’.

“Fold it in, don’t slap it” The more season two goes on, the more I think that Moira is just an amalgamation of some choice elements of Julian’s kingdom.

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kitkatixx · 4 years ago

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kirukiyo headcanons (long ish)

If you haven’t noticed-- these two are my otp, and v3 did them both dirty... both in terms of plot and their few interactions (hi, utdp, i’m surprised they didn’t have an event with direct interaction)

I haven’t done these formally but figured I’d drop a few of my headcanons as of now, since the ideas I have for these two are fluid, but the base nature of their relationship remains about the same. You’ll see below the cut, they’re fairly in depth and give some flavor to the characters (especially Kirumi)

general summary

Subtle, subtle, subtle.

These two are experts at keeping their relationship under the table, and it takes the rest of the class--perceptive ones included-- quite a bit of time to figure out they’ve been together, even though many a student (Kokichi, Miu, Rantaro, Kaede) have made jokes about their likeness to a married couple.

While they are more than capable of adapting to the scenario, both of them are private individuals at heart, in spite how their talents require them to be around people nearly at all times. So for Kirumi especially, she prefers someone mature who can respect her desire to keep the limelight out of her personal life. After all, she prefers to keep her home and (incredibly taxing, chaotic) work life separate...

That being said, it is no secret to Class 79 (what I’ve dubbed the v3 cast in my HPA AU) and the upperclassmen (SDR2, DR3, THH) that the Ultimate Maid is a stubborn workaholic.

Thus, it takes a specific type of person to ‘get through’ to her-- specifically requesting her presence at refreshments, politely stopping her in the hallway for a conversation, all as cleverly disguised ‘breaks’ without infringing upon her time and duties. Even if it’s only momentary, small steps, persistence, and patience are key with her, as there is a fine line between obligation and devotion to one’s craft.

Korekiyo happens to be able to see past the professional ‘selflessly devoted’ front that Kirumi maintains nearly at all times, having had the opportunity to observe numerous types of people in his time as an anthropologist, and given what was seen in canon, it’s fairly evident that he was intrigued, speaking highly of her post trial (he even has a FTE in her lab!)

Initially, her insistence on wholeheartedly embodying the values of a proper maid piqued his attention, leading to him to take an interest in getting to know her more-- what makes Miss Tojo who she is, exactly? What motivates her to behave in such a way? And what of the human side of the Ultimate Maid? Such were the questions he wished to answer, and as any good researcher would do, it was necessary to approach this in a straightforward, concise manner.

Because of this unorthodox approach to getting to know her (indirectly) for a scholarly reason, Kirumi had no reason to decline his invitations to converse or shoo him away from observing her everyday duties as she would have done under normal circumstances. This in particular gave Korekiyo an advantage over many of his other peers, who would have had difficulty a) approaching her b) maintaining a sizeable conversation with her before moving onto her next task.

Eventually, the two would find they share similar interests (Victorian customs, tea preparation, etc), and get along well with each other; the meetings that began as strictly for research evolve into moments where two friends are talking.

Down the line, someone catches feels.

Now as for who that could be... let’s move to the next section to answer that.

a few typical who does/is relationship headcanons:

1. Who makes the first move and how?

Korekiyo does. While Kirumi eventually does develop feelings for him first, she won’t act on them out of concern that the quality of her work will be compromised, and stays quiet. Korekiyo, however, takes a little longer after mulling over whether his emotions can be chalked up to his general adoration for all of humanity or genuine feelings for her. He does pick up on small changes in her behavior and routine-- serving his preferred meals and tea at just the right temperature, being especially open to assisting him even when she’s terribly busy, and so on, which motivate him to make the first move. Very small, but incredibly thoughtful of her. He’s always liked the details.

The anthropologist is quite capable of being romantic if he so desires, but decides that with her in particular, it would be best to be polite and to the point. Of course, this is Korekiyo we are talking about, so he’ll still put his own twist on it-- so most likely discreetly slipping her a letter with a proper wax stamp on it expressing his feelings and a carnation, which in Japanese flower language is associated with fascination and distinction.

The letter’s contents include notes of the uniquely human aspects of her he finds especially beautiful, and are highly specific: the faint curve of her mouth that appears for a split-second (when she thinks no one is looking) after someone receives retribution for their antics, her deft, graceful movements as she slices into vegetables and pours tea, the glint in her eye that appears after a particularly challenging request is given... the list could go on and on, he writes, but it would be far too long to be appropriate for this letter, yet Kirumi Tojo’s identity is so much more than only the Ultimate Maid.

Lastly, it finishes with an attached sketch depicting one of the moments ‘when she is the most beautiful,’ showing her in her element... broom in hand, small frown on face, and scolding someone (read: Kokichi) After all, while many miss it, Korekiyo has picked up on the angry micro expressions that flit across her face after something particularly irritating has just occurred, and he loves them-- they make her humanity shine through.

Subsequently, it would prompt her to meet somewhere secluded in the evening if she reciprocates-- her missing presence would be more than enough for him to take the hint. Not that she intended on doing so.

2. Who is the most insecure and what makes them feel better?

You’d think it would be Kirumi, but no, Korekiyo is, beneath his unusual charm and charisma, by a margin. After the passing of his sister, it left him hesitant to get close to people at a personal level, which contributes to how he ended up choosing anthropology-- not only to travel and experience the world when she could not, but because it allows for one to be ‘close’ to humans in a removed manner. So while he can easily wax poetry about nearly anything about humans, cultures, or a person, he does this in a very ‘scientific manner’ at times, preferring to view things as an observer rather than a participator. Of course, this aspect of him was integrated into his identity long before HPA, but it is this distanced nature that contributed to his initial indecisiveness about whether his feelings are organic, and the occasional concern about how much emotional intimacy he is obligated to show in a relationship. Luckily, Kirumi isn’t the type to absolutely need direct communication in a relationship, and is more subtle in demeanor as well.

Having been in the service industry for years and hiding her own emotions (from herself as well), Kirumi is proficient at recognizing others’ needs, and picks up on these issues seamlessly. She isn’t exactly the best at opening up either (this is an area of improvement for both of them), but still makes attempts to directly talk to him about this. Generally, their form of communication is largely nonverbal, being highly in tune with each other-- to this couple, actions speak louder than words, but issues like these are best addressed face-to-face, with words, before they fester.

3. Who is the most romantic?

The anthropologist takes the cake here by societal standards-- his love language is giving gifts and words of affirmation, whereas Kirumi prefers acts of service (no surprise there!) but both share quality time as a commonality, and are very attentive towards each other. Regardless of the gift, Korekiyo is always sure to pick something thoughtful and practical, the way she likes things-- though now and then there’s something more material with emotional value in the mix, which she secretly likes. Kirumi is not used to people being so direct in this department with her, so while she’ll politely cite her preference for gifts as something useful, the silk gloves and other paraphernalia he gets her are a nice way to validate she has an identity outside of being a maid.

Not to mention that he has a way with words, and is incredibly proficient at finding 50 unique ways to compliment her in public, much to her chagrin (and hidden embarrassment,) but he takes pride in, citing that she should be more proud of her accomplishments. Nevertheless, Korekiyo still finds her indirect way of showing affection endearing, especially when she attempts to politely deflect compliments as ‘doing what any maid worth their salt would have done.’

Some things never change... even though he and the other members of Class 79 have slowly gotten her to be more open about accepting assistance from others (she’s overworked herself and passed out once!)

4. Who can’t keep their hands to themselves?

Again, while both of them are capable of (and prefer) being lowkey in public, it’s free real estate in private, so once again, this goes to Korekiyo. His official love language isn’t physical touch, but he embodies all five of them quite well, this one very much included.

Kirumi, on the other hand, doesn’t like PDA out of professionalism, which makes her a bit hesitant, even in the privacy of his or her room to be comfortable with it. This isn’t to say she isn’t curious or won’t even consider the possibility, but it takes her a considerable amount of time to warm up to it. Initially, the most you’ll see from them in public is subtle touches on each other’s hand-- little playful taps here and there-- which then morph into holding hands when no one’s around to see it. In private, they’re more willing to be physically close (think head in lap while reading), and Kirumi’s brushed his hair on more than one occasion. It should be noted that one of the most intimate moments the two have had was holding hands in private without any sort of fabric acting as a barrier.

However, Korekiyo does have a cheekier side that slips out (more slyly playful to incite something interesting/fluster her) and is known to slip an arm around her waist, pulling her in close. If you squint, you might catch a faint flush on the usually unflappable Kirumi. Bonus points if this is during the evening, and a breeze blows by. Bonus bonus if this is in public, during broad daylight.

The ‘class dad’ has to assert his dominance every now and then over the unruly children, no?

5. Who says ‘I love you’ first?

Love comes in a lot of different forms and of course, at each person’s pace. Both of them circle around this topic and have essentially said it nonverbally before, but the first to vocalize it is most likely still Korekiyo. It’s not in Kirumi’s nature to be direct about her emotions (but for duties and professional matters, absolutely), so it’s up to him to say he loves her first.

It’s most likely uttered in private, accompanied with a small kiss, and very quietly-- so quiet you can barely catch it, but that doesn’t matter, because only the one who needs to hear it the most will.

conclusion

Three words best describe this relationship: mature, meaningful, and synchronized.

Both of these individuals are aloof and formal on the surface level, but if one takes the time to truly get to know them, there’s quite the intense fire burning underneath in the form of being utterly devoted to each other every step of the way. Of course, this is all done in a very reserved manner, and if they don’t want you to know about it, you won’t.

Well, if you got here, thank you for reading all of this. I’ve liked this ship for a while, and I remember being nervous to create content-- I’m sure know how volatile fandom life can be, no? Hope you enjoyed my take and spins on their relationship, and I might post more later.

Feel free to request or drop something in the askbox for these two.

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athys-obelia · 4 years ago

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character/s: claude de alger obelia, diana of siodonna, felix robane

synopsis: it's...uhm....an empress!diana x concubine!claude crackfic 😭😭

warning/s: uhh a sprinkle of politics, the robane duchy is now siodonnan and not obelian screw canon, diana is lowkey mean to rogrog

a/n: i'm so sorry this is so bad

part one

felix's foot taps against the tiles of the empress' room impatiently. "you stayed up finalising the agreement all night, your majesty, perhaps some rest is due?"

diana spares him glance, turning sideways from her position on her bed. "what was his name again?"

"pardon?"

"the painter," she elaborates, pointing towards the painting on the ceiling above the bed. "i keep...i don't know, i keep finding new things the more i look at it."

"is that so?"

the painting itself, a coronation gift from felix, depicts the goddess diana reaching out to the children of the world and vice versa. "if you look at the sky closely - remember our old siodonann classes?- 'for the people' is hidden in the stars. isn't that cool?"

the knight squints at the painting. "oh, i see it! i wonder why it's in old siodonann, though?"

"i would guess it's because the imperial family wasn't worshipped in the old days," diana explains, "for example - right now, in some parts of the empire, my late father - bless him - and i may actually have shrines because people believe the imperial family's descent is from the gods. when the kingdom was just formed, though, kings and queens weren't allowed to ride alone in carriages as they greeted their subjects- they needed to have a slave with them at all times, who kept on repeating 'you are human' to them. 'you are human', 'we are all the same in the eyes of the true gods."

the sound of the army of maids behind the door is enough to pull felix out of his trance. "er...horatius calvus, your majesty."

"hm?"

"the artist, that's his name."

"ah." diana turns to the painting once more, eyes staring at the goddess' hair that melted into the night sky. "would you be able to get in contact with him? i'd like to commission a piece."

felix bows gracefully. "as your majesty commands. oh, and - for the obelian delegates' farewell celebration tonight...has your majesty decided on an escort?"

she groans, falling back on the bed. "i've had so much free time lately, the harem is all i think about!"

"very funny, ma'am. then...shall i prepare the usual?"

diana shakes her head. "i'll visit viscaria palace later and see for myself. the obelians brought some concubines with them as presents, it's be nice to weed through the bunch."

felix's eyes nearly pop out. "you're visiting the harem?! your majesty! did you find someone you like??"

she chucks a pillow at him before he can continue. "you weren't loud enough just now, fe, i don't think all of siodonna heard you."

"...apologies, ma'am."

three years ago, when she had only just come into power, diana remembers being afraid of the large, gold doors between her and the council room. she remembers pausing before entering, regaining her breath, preparing her mind. projecting an image.

if there is one thing she has learnt, though, it's that only fools can be afraid of their own property. their assets. the larger-than-life doors swing at her command, allow or deny entrance with solely her permission. confidence comes easy when you act like you own the place - nevermind the fact that she did own most places.

but i have no reason to be afraid.

the obelian delegates stand at her arrival and bow like good little lords should before an empress. one of the more prominent ones stands to address her as soon as the meeting commences.

"blessings and glory upon the sun of the great siodonnan empire," he says.

diana raises an amused eyebrow. this game, hm? "is that an obelian greeting, duke? how interesting. here, one would usually wish 'a long life to the protector of the siodonnan people'. that's all i am, after all - how could i be the sun?"

duke alpheus sputters. "er...i failed to acquaint myself with siodonnan culture appropriately, my apologies, your majesty. i shall do better next time."

how arrogant. still, she smiles, "i must confess, duke alpheus - i am slightly susceptible to praise, so i'll let you off this time."

"thank you, ma'am."

"although making the assumption that there will be a next time at all was quite courageous of you." diana signals the guards, who open the door to let the final participant of the meeting inside. "however -courage and bravery are traits best suited for kings and queens, duke. not lords."

the obelian delegates pale as they watch their - former - emperor, wrists bound, enter the hall with an entourage of knights.

diana glances at the newcomer. "although i suppose even for an emperor, too much of a bravado may cost a war."

anastacius de alger obelia glowers at her.

she frowns at the knights. "how come such a precious friend of mine is tied up like this? is this how we siodonnans treat our guests?"

felix bows deeply. "i apologise, ma'am - he was resisting far too much."

"whatever the case. get a seat set up right here, beside me - after all," diana smiles at the fuming obelian, "we were dining together just a few months ago, weren't we?"

"three months ago, to be precise," anastacius spits out, "after which you decided to switch tides and invade us like a coward."

she watches one of the knights set down a fancy chair to the left of hers, reaching out to untie the bindings on anastacius' wrist. diana frowns suddenly, waving over felix, "ah, is this the leash my brother used when he tamed his dragon?"

the former emperor flinches, staring down at it. "someone here tamed a dragon?" a light pink dusts his cheeks - did he really touch the actual leash of a dragon?

felix shakes his head with a small smirk. "this is the leash her majesty the late dowager empress used, ma'am. for her dog."

"-ah, right, i remember now! all the ones marked with this little purple line are used for tying down senseless animals, aren't they?"

"yes, your majesty." felix returns to his spot behind her, clear amusement swimming in his grey eyes as he watches the obelians try and maintain their composure.

diana gently lets the leash loose, a hand on the stunned anastacius' shoulder to lightly push him into the seat. "you aren't wrong - i did betray your hospitality, didn't i?"

roger alpheus winces at the sudden authority in her tone as the knights pass out a document to each of the obelian lords.

"obelia's greeting and offer for peace was kind to me, so i must return this generosity. your country is now part of the siodonnan empire, so we should be parting on a good note. will a little present suffice?"

a brunette diana remembers to be a count speaks up, "...a gift, your majesty?"

felix moves closer to the table, watching the detailed map of siodonna carved into its centre. as he raises his hand, almost as if it were a chess piece, a small island moves to the left. its color flickers between a siodonnan purple and the obelian teal.

diana sighs. "i was planning on the island of delphine, since it not only contains a relatively large gold mine, but also much tourist attraction."

oh, she can see the stars in alpheus' eyes already. "thank you, your ma-"

"but." he shrivels under her piercing gaze, "but, obelia doesn't need gold, does it? what you need is better foreign relations. and what better way to form an alliance..."

she eyes the map, and with a flick of felix's wrist, a small stretch of land connecting two continents switches from its original purple to a hue of blue.

diana looks up now, meeting even anastacius' shocked eyes. he eyes her suspiciously, "do you really-?"

she nods. "...consider it a gift from your sovereign. it is enough, yes?"

"i- uh," duke alpheus blinks twice, "the isthmus of erven is...an adequate present, yes, your majesty. the people of obelia shall thrive due to your generosity."

"it is not generosity, duke. your people are my subjects now. however, i hope you realise the isthmus isn't obelian property for obvious reasons. there is no trust between us. despite this, what i will allow is some access." diana stands, watching the foreign nobles mirror the action. "the terms and conditions of our relationship from this point onwards are in the papers before you and are, obviously, subject to change. feel free to approach me with concerns, should you have any."

"you were firmer than i'd expected with the obelians, your majesty," felix comments.

diana recoils as his eyes light up at the sight of viscaria palace. "remember when i visited obelia for anastacius' coronation? i was only seventeen, but two years into my studies as heir - and they were all over duke renauld's son! poor cousin ronnie couldn't stop apologising."

felix snorts. "the renaulds wouldn't have dared challenge your majesty's claim, not while the late empress dowager was behind you."

"ha! that's right, everyone was scared of mama." she grins fondly, "papa most of all."

the knight nods, murmuring a prayer.

"i want them gone as soon as possible," diana admits, "but there's much to settle before that. i need to fix up anastacius before we can let him back, the second prince is still...what was his name, again?"

"claude de alger obelia, ma'am."

she winces. "yes, he's an impo-"

a commotion sounds from within viscaria. felix raises an eyebrow at the shouts echoing from the beautiful building, a hand already atop his sheathed sword. "ma'am, stay back, i'll have a look- your majesty! where are you going-?!"

navigating through the decorated halls, diana halts before the entrance of the garden. the argument is between two men she doesn't recognise, as the older concubines gather to the side, amusing twinkling in their eyes.

"attention!" felix roars, "her imperial majesty, empress diana celeste!"

the two freeze in fear.

"disrupting my peace. how dare you?" diana demands.

one of them, dressed too finely for someone she hadn't even seen yet, steps forward. "your majesty, my name is xerre, i was only-"

she raises a hand, effectively shutting him up. tone softening, diana turns to the group crowding around the desert table. "lex?"

the group shuffles to let a young, silver haired young man forward. lex bows gracefully, laugh lines around his eyes crinkling. "yes, my lady?"

"do you know what happened here?"

lex nods. "the monthly salary was being distributed, your majesty, and xerre - being a present from the kingdom of masur - had some trouble believing his amount was the same as a former obelian slave's. verhan stepped in to argue that your majesty was the one to decide this, and they began fighting."

"shall i prepare for his voyage back to masur, majesty?" felix asks, as the rest of the concubines roll their eyes at his antics.

diana studies the masurian concubine, beckoning him closer. "it is common knowledge i do not generally accept gifted concubines from territories out of my own."

she watches his adam's apple rise and fall, tracing a nail over the well defined jawline. xerre shivers.

"however, your king is new to his throne, and his queen one of my dearest friends. do you realise how our alliance will look were i to send you back?"

he nods cautiously.

"i do not wish to withdraw support from someone i consider a brother, xerre. especially when he is engaged in armed conflict on two fronts."

"i- i am prepared for any punishment your majesty deems appropriate."

diana sighs softly. "i would send you to work for me in the capitol, but the rules state every concubine entering must reside here for a certain amount of time. until then, bear with it. this palace, and a life of luxury, is only meant for my favorites. clear?"

"yes, your majesty."

"my apologies, ma'am," felix says once the crowd disperses, his head hanging. "i should've prepared for your arrival with more care."

she waves off the apology, heading to the guest hall to take a look at the new obelian concubines.

"vera leaves for her son's wedding for a week and we've already had an incident. honestly, felix."

"...who's vera?"

diana pauses at the unfamiliar voice. her gaze falls on the figure sitting on the window seat, entirely immersed in the book in his hands. she blinks, stunned, watching the colourful window's filtered light paint the brilliant blonde of his hair.

felix is the first to address him, scoffing, "i believe your majesty's beauty has enchanted one of the gods - who else would dare address the empress of our nation so casually?"

diana chuckles, watching as the man stands, intrigued. she stays silent, breath hitched, as he towers over her, studying her with a curiosity that rivals hers from a moment ago. and only when he finally lowers himself to a knee does his hair part, and diana flushes at the red tinting his ears.

"greetings to her imperial majesty, may the gods grant the protector of the siodonnan people a life long and blessed."

she offers him her hand. "rise. and tell me your name."

a beat of silence passes as he stares at her outstretched hand before hesitantly accepting. "claude, your majesty."

"claude," diana tries, finding it rolls of her tongue deliciously.

he raises an eyebrow as she regards him. "your majesty...?"

diana smiles, her hand moving to touch the various jewellery adorning his fingers. gently, she slides off the gold ring off of his ring finger. "you must have a good reason to be donning an unauthorized magical item in my palace."

he doesn't answer, head lowered.

her hand lets go of his, raising to grip the blonde's jaw. diana tilts up his face, meeting his gaze. the dull grey eyes from before have vanished, replaced by glittering blues.

she inhales sharply. "you're...the obelian pr...the second prince of obelia."

he nods.

diana turns, more puzzled than angry. "why is he in my harem?"

"... didn't your majesty wish for it?" felix tilts his head in confusion.

"what? no?"

the knight frowns. "but i was so sure...your majesty said you didn't have an heir because you wanted a concubine as beautiful as me...when we took over the imperial palace, as the army swore their allegiance...your majesty said the prince was the prettiest you’ve ever seen?"

"i- felix, i was kidding!"

"...oh."

she turns to the prince then, "and you! you're a prince! how come you just went along with this??"

"well...it was the most peaceful part of the palace..."

diana gapes at the two men, before finally sighing in defeat. "you're telling me i was scouring the lands for you, while you were right...?" she raises a hand to massage her temple, "...gods grant me patience."

felix cautiously steps forward, "your majesty...i understand this is shocking, but... tonight's escort..."

she glances up at the obelian prince. "allow them all to retire. i've found the perfect escort."

a/n: hmmm this was a bit empty claudiana wise, wasn't it? their development is coming though, i had to give empress!diana an intro :) also !! the situation may seem a bit confusing rn, but next chapter will clear things up! or you can just ask me for clarification <3

💕 felix is dying to find a concubine diana likes bc he really really really wants to be an uncle

💕 in siodonna, emperors/empresses are referred to by their first(diana) + middle name(celeste) and not a last name bc they technically can't belong to a house, they belong to the empire. but the middle name is important bc you have to ask for it (from someone you love and respect usually), you're never just born with one (so you could ask a parent / friend / mentor yada yada and they give you a name they believe fits best)

#wmmap #sbapod #who made me a princess #suddenly became a princess one day #au #empress!diana #concubine!claude #the word concubine annoys me for some reason smfh #claude de alger obelia #felix robane #diana of siodonna #wmmap fic

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alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer · 3 years ago

Note

It’s probably been said before, but I really liked how the All too Well short film showed a toxic relationship that wasn’t outright wrong, and reflected a real relationship anyone could end up in without even realising how toxic it is

It’s one of the reasons I really love all of your fics - those including/mentioning Charles (derogatory) always show how much of an asshole he is while showing how easy it can be to interpret his actions as ‘good’ depending on context (that’s not to say other fics are bad at all, but some are more blunt with the message that Alastair = naïve/innocent and Charles = pure evil than others) and how they’re both complicated people both outside and inside of their relationship. Because people wouldn’t stay or believe they’re happy in a relationship if they were miserable 24/7 (but that’s just my interpretation, feel free to correct me if I’m wrong)

yeah! a lot of TS songs work really well for Alastair because Taylor's dating history is a lot of men with narcissistic personalities who seek out partners much younger than them. I think that Charles and Alastair's relationship is something that would be seen as objectively wrong today, but not so much in the time period. if the story were happening today, Charles would be more like one of those men who dates 18 and 19 year olds because they're technically legal so it's not "wrong." and then we end up with situations like TS has been in, where she was a 19 year old in a relationship with a 32 year old.

using dear john as an example, (all too well is also great) the part where she says "my mother accused me of losing my mind but I swore I was fine" reminds me a lot of the scene between Alastair and Cordelia, where Cordelia is like "hey, I don't really like how he treats you, I think something's wrong" but Alastair insists that she doesn't know what she's talking about. manipulation and emotional abuse is really difficult to see the extent of from the outside, and it changes the way you think. Charles is undoubtedly extremely charismatic by nature, he's an aspiring politician who has spent his whole life trailing after politicians, he knows exactly what to say and when to get his way. Also from Dear John: "You are an expert at sorry, and keeping lines blurry"

I've definitely seen situations in fandom where fans start headcanoning certain characters as abusive and it just turns into trauma porn. I don't know if I've exactly seen that in this fandom but I think it's important to recognize that abusers aren't usually careless - they know when and where to abuse in order to get away with it. there's a series on netflix called maid that I really liked - it's about a woman trying to get herself and her daughter out of an emotionally abusive situation. It gives a really good look into where their relationship started, how it got to where it was, how hard it is to leave, and how easy it is to go back.

All in all, it's not like the way that Charles is depicted sometimes in fic isn't realistic - it's just not canon. that's okay, it's fan fiction for a reason. A lot of writers use fic as a projection of their own experience anyways. I just prefer to write him as emotionally abusive rather than anything else.

#ask #anonymous #tw emotional abuse #sorry if anything isnt clear #i just woke up

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lewdanimevsirl · 3 years ago

Text

Do you know whale have 1500 litres?

WARNING: This story is a work of fiction and contains many mature elements. Please do not continue if you are unable to handle such content.

NOTE: The characters in this story are based on their depiction in Fate Grand Order which is developed by Delightworks and based on Type-Moon's Fate franchise. I am neither a marine biologist nor a lore expert, thus some terms and information used may be inaccurate, but I have provided references (you hardly see those in these type of content) at the end. Sorry for any weird English or grammatical mistakes.

Summer

Jeanne d' Arc, Maid of Orléans, Holy Maiden of Salvation, Ruler. And now lying on the shoreline in front of me, covered in white gooey substance and her swimsuit all torn and tattered. Her black bikini was hanging off her body while her blue hoodie was covered in white sticky substances. How did this even happen?

It was summer, and like most servants, Jeanne had a summer-swimsuit form. The holy maiden of the tropics, the star of the dolphin world. I always wonder why she became an archer that shoots dolphins. But after this incident, I realised the truth behind it….

A few months ago,

Ever since I summoned Jeanne into Chaldea, we had a healthy Master-Servant relationship. We fought enemies together, we shared our worries together, we shared our joy together.

One day resting with Jeanne after a hard day of farming,

"I can't wait for summer to come. Can't wait to just sit back and enjoy myself." I entered my room and slammed my face onto the bed. "We really deserve the break from all the farming and fighting that we do. Not to mention we can finally bring out those swimsuits." "Yes, it's good to take a break." Jeanne followed behind me and took a seat at the table.

"Jeanne! Anything you looking forward to in the summer?"

"Summer? Hmmmm…. Heading to the beach. Can't wait to meet Reece. I missed him," Jeanne smiled while answering the question.

"Reece?! Oh ya, your dolphin… You never did tell me how you met Reece" I sat back up, hoping that Jeanne would share some stories about her dolphin with me.

"Ahh… uhm… It's a long story, we can leave it for another day." Jeanne quickly brushed off the question.

"Fineeee… But mind introducing me to Reece? I would love to chill with a dolphin!"

"Uhm… sure, Master, if you don't mind…"

I did not notice it then, but Jeanne was embarrassed and was hesitating with her words. I thought it was because she was tired, so I did not ask her any further questions. But it was during summer, that I finally found out the truth behind her words.

Summer

Finally, it is summer. I can sit back and enjoy myself. No more farming. No more grinding. I get to enjoy myself on the beach and enjoy the cold sea breeze. Well, that is what I thought I would be doing. But instead, I am stuck in a crammed room, helping the Dragon Witch, Jeanne Alter AKA Jalter (Jeanne's tsundere alter) with her work.

"May I come in?" a knock from the door interrupted our discussion over the work.

"Stop interrupting us! State your purpose and leave," Jalter shouted intensely, "Some of us have work to do!" "I am sorry, I just want to ask if Master is free now" the door swinged open and Jeanne sheepishly entered the room.

"Master, how do I look?" Jeanne strolled happily into the room, dressed in a black bikini wrapped around with a blue hoodie. "You asked about my swimsuit the other day."

"You look stunning…." I replied immediately only to be met by a stack of paper slapped onto my face. "Stop staring her and start doing work, you pathetic Master!" "Sorry you tsundere Witch, I am just complimenting your sister! Don't tell me you are jealo…" another stack of paper hit my face before I could finish my sentence.

"Sorry Jeanne, I am unable to join you and meet Reece now. I need to help this annoyance with her work…." I apologised to Jeanne. "You better be!" Jalter quipped in. "Don't wait for me, you should enjoy the summer. I will find you after I am done."

Jeanne looked at the piles of papers stacked across the room. "It's fine Master, work is important. I will just head off first. Will not interrupt you guys any further" Jeanne took a bow and start making her way out. "So sorry about…." "Quit yapping! We need to get this done by today." Jalter interrupted me as I sadly watched Jeanne exit the room, leaving the both of us struggling with work.

At the Beach

"Jeanne, you look loving today!" "Jeanne, join us!" "Jeanne, pity Master could not join us!"

While I was stuck in a crammed little room helping Jalter with her doujins, the rest of the Servants were enjoying themselves at the beach. Some of them lying along the shore suntanning, some of them swimming and surfing, and there was even a sandcastle competition.

"Jeanne, are you not joining us?" "Sorry, not today. I have something I need to do." Jeanne politely declined the other Servants. Instead of partaking in the activities with the rest of the Servants on the main beach, Jeanne made her way onto the far side of the beach.

"Now that Master is busy, I should take the time to indulge myself" Jeanne thought to herself as she walked towards the far corner of the beach.

Far side of the beach

"Reece!" Jeanne ran towards the shoreline and shouted for her beloved dolphin.

Squeaking and splashing noises could be heard as a dolphin could be seen swimming towards the shoreline.

"I miss you so much!" Jeanne run towards Reece and hug the dolphin tightly. Reece rubbed against Jeanne and squeaked in delight. "I know you are excited, but not here Reece. You know the drill, let us go further out." Reece squeaked and started swimming towards a rock formation at the corner of the shore.

"Smart boy, you know what I wanted" As Reece swam back from the rocks, he brought back a raft. The raft appeared stable and looked as though it has been used multiple times. Jeanne boarded the raft and petted Reece on the snout. "I know you are excited, I am too, let's go so that I can give you your reward." Reece squeaked and started pulling the raft towards the middle of the ocean.

"I wonder how Scrooge has been doing. It has been a long time."

Although research on the anatomy of aquatic mammals and how they reproduce is still ongoing, current research has found that the reproductive organs of aquatic mammals such as dolphins (Howard, 2009) and whales (Whales Online, n.d.) are hidden in a genital slit. During mating, the penis of the male partner will protrude out of the genital slit and penetrate the female's vagina. Due to this, many aquatic mammals mate either belly to belly or turned on the side.

Dolphins do not only engage in sexual acts with the intent of reproduction. They also driven to engage in such acts for pleasure. "It is more accurate to state that animals (including humans and dolphins) are often driven to engage in sexual acts because the act itself is rewarding" (Dolphins Communication Project, 2014).

A typical size of a common dolphin's penis is approximately the size of a human hand (Lunau, 2017). However, they have a prehensile penis, meaning they can "swivel, grab and grope, much like a human hand" (Wetzel, 2020). This is so that they can navigate the "unusual vaginal folds, spirals and recesses" (Orbach, 2017)

In the middle of the ocean

"Alright Reece, this is far enough." The dolphin stopped and started squeaking loudly. "Alright alright, I shall reward you for your effort." Jeanne leaned forward and petted Reece on the snout, before kissing him on the lips.

People have often wondered about the story behind Jeanne and Reece. Some say Jeanne rescued Reece from captivity. Others say Reece respect Jeanne for being a holy maiden of the sea. But unlike the simple and typical girl-meeting-dolphin stories that people believed, the truth is that Jeanne and Reece helped to fulfil each other's sexual needs.

Jeanne slowly descend into the ocean while leaning against the edge of the raft. "Alright Reece, I am ready! Time to receive your reward!" Reece squeaked and started swimming around Jeanne, before stopping in front of her and rubbing his snout against her chest.

"Stop it Reece, you know what I want." Reece stopped rubbing and ascended with his penis protruding out of his genital slit. "Good boy! This is what I have been waiting for! Enjoy your reward, you naughty boy." Jeanne began rubbing Reece's penis with her hands before placing it into her mouth.

You might think the irregular-shaped prehensile penis is unable to fit into the Holy Maiden's petite mouth. But Jeanne was experienced in putting irregular-shaped objects into her mouth. Jeanne started bobbing her head back and forth, licking the tip of Reece's penis while rubbing it. "Someone has been a bad boy, someone's cock is grabbing my tongue, so aggressive." Jeanne continued to lick Reece's penis while occasionally touching herself.

After a few moments, loud squeaking sound could be heard. Reece squeaked loudly as he erupted all his dolphin semen into Jeanne's mouth. White gooey dolphin semen dripped down Jeanne's mouth and splattered onto her black bikini and blue hoodie. "Delicious! Just like the first day we met." With a single gulp, Jeanne swallowed it and started licking her mouth. She then proceeded to lick Reece's penis clean. "I hope you enjoyed your reward Reece," Jeanne kissed the happy dolphin on the snout. "Now that you are clean, I need you to call Scrooge for me."

Instead of calling for Scrooge, Reece squeaked and started to nibble Jeanne's breasts. Within seconds, the dolphin had bitten Jeanne's bikini top off and began to nibble on her nipples. "Stop it… Hyahh… Reece! I… Ahhhh… already given… Hyah… your reward." Jeanne tried to stop Reece in between moans. "I… Ahhh… know you…. Haa… want to… Hyahhh… make me cum… Ahhh…but I am…Uhh… preparing for… Hah… the main course."

Reece whimpered softly and stopped nibbling. "I know you are a good boy and you definitely made me happy with all the dolphin cum, but I am preparing for Scrooge." Jeanne petted the dolphin. "I will let you do me next time, alright?" Reece squeaked loudly and started diving into the ocean.

"Ok, time to prepare for the main course." Jeanne laid back onto the raft and adjusted her black bikini bottom such that her vagina is exposed. "I wonder if Scrooge will be happy to see me." Jeanne thought to herself while she touched her own breasts and vagina.

Soon, a rumbling sound could be heard beneath the ocean.

Like the dolphins, the penis of the blue whale is prehensile to navigate the multiple folds of the female's vagina (Whales Online, n.d.). However, the size of the blue whale is much larger than that of a dolphin. An average size of a blue whale penis is 2.4 metres (Whales Online, n.d.). When erect, it expands to about 30cm (12 inches) in diameter and about 3m (10 feet) in length (University of Wisconsin, 2012). "The erect penis can be guided using muscles, almost as if it were equipped with a homing device" (Whales Online, n.d.). In addition, "each ejaculation of a blue whale could produce around 20 litres of sperm" (Whales Online, n.d.).

During mating, the male and female will spend time rolling around each other, before flying upwards and crossing the surface. As they cross the surface, "the male will thrust his penis into the vulva and ejaculates" (University of Wisconsin, 2012).

In the middle of the ocean

Jeanne always hated having to act prim and proper. On the surface, she would put on the demeanour of a pure and innocent holy maiden, but when she is alone, she would often indulge in self-pleasure.

Ever since she became the Holy Maiden of the Sea, it has become an annual tradition for Jeanne to meet up with Reece and Scrooge. She provided them with love and comfort, in return, they provided her with the sexual release that she desired, that she craved, that she needed.

A loud roaring sound could be heard as a blue whale emerged from the sea.

"Oh Scrooge, I have missed you and your long enormous cock so much! Come on and devour me, you naughty boy!" If anyone were there, they would have not believed that the Holy Maiden of Salvation would be lying on a raft, in a seductive position, fingering her own vagina and saying such sexual things.

The blue whale roared as water sprayed out of his blowhole. "Someone's excited! Come on Scrooge, let us not wait around and fuck me already!" Jeanne screamed as the blue whale approached the small and petite Jeanne lying on the tiny raft. As Scrooge approached the raft, the shadow of a 3m penis could be seen emerging from his genital slit, covering the entire raft.

Back in the room with Gudao and Jalter

"Finally! We are done with these!" I shouted as I slammed the last piece of doujin onto the ground. "I can finally head out to the beach and enjoy myself!"

I should have been at the beach enjoying myself, soaking the warm sun and enjoying the waves. But instead, for the past few hours, I have been stuck in this crammed room helping Jalter with her work. I even had to give up the chance of hanging out with Jeanne and Reece.

"We could have finished this an hour ago if someone had not fallen asleep on my lap." Jalter shouted from the couch that was covered with piles of paper, while scrolling through her phone.

"While at least I don't droo…." A pillow slammed into the face, interrupting me mid-sentence. Throwing the pillow back at Jalter, I retorted "At least, I don't sit around and used my phone all day."

"Ya, whatever," Jalter shrugged both the thrown pillow and my remarks off. "But at least I found this meme about that holy saint." My eyes lit up with interests as soon as I heard that. "You can't just say something like that and not show me!" I rushed towards Jalter and tried to grab her phone. Jalter immediately kicked me on the face in response. "Stop trying to snatch my phone, you pathetic Master. Alright, I will show you before you destroy my phone."

Jalter pulled back her leg and showed her phone to me. "This one here. The one that they compared that holy saint to a blue whale."

The picture on the phone read "Did you know that the Maid of Orleans, Jeanne d'Arc, is 159cm in height. But Blue Whale's penis is about 2.4-3.0m in length, which is almost twice of her height"

"Oh, and this one here"

The next picture read "Did you know that the maiden of orleans, Jeanne d'Arc, weighed 44 kilos. In contrast, a blue whale can ejaculate around 1500 litres of semen"

"What the fuck Jalter?! What the fuck did I just read?! What am I even supposed to do with that information?!"

"It is a meme, idiot. You are not supposed to do anything with it." Jalter continued to use her phone amidst my confused and panicked screaming. "Only a degenerate would draw or write anything based on this information, which I hope you are not"

"I guess you are right, there is no chance Jeanne would associate herself with whale penis and whale semen. I know, I shall find Jeanne and tell her…."

"Hahahaha," A crackling laughter could be heard coming from Jalter. "Ya, you tell her about whale penis and whale semen. I cannot wait for her to look at you with eyes of contempt and disgust."

"Well, Jeanne isn't like you, you big tsundere of a witch…" As soon as those words come out of my mouth, Jalter snapped and started throwing pillows at me. I quickly ran out of the room with Jalter chasing after me with murderous eyes. "You little shit, I am so going to kill you!"

"Jeanne! Save me!"

Meanwhile in the middle of the ocean

"Yes Scrooge! Fuck me! Pump it into my pussy!" The Maid of Orléans moaned loudly as the blue whale positioned his 3m penis near her vagina. "Come on Scrooge! Give it…" Jeanne's words were interrupted with loud moans of pleasure as the blue whale penis began to insert slowly into her vagina. The force from the whale's penis caused Jeanne' bikini bottom to snapped and hanged off her body.

"Ahhh… Hyahhh…" Screams and moans of pleasure could be heard emitting from the mouth of the Holy Maiden. A rush of satisfaction and joy had washed over her. Her mind was lost to the pleasure derived from the penetration of the blue whale's penis into her vagina.

Since Jeanne's vagina could barely fit the tip of Scrooge's penis, any movement made by Scrooge resulted in Jeanne erupting into moans of pleasure. "Yessss… Fuck me…. Deeper… Scrooge…" Uncontrollable moans filled the air as Jeanne gripped tightly to the side of the raft while her vagina was being ravaged by a 3m blue whale's penis.

"Arghhhhh!"

Jeanne erupted into orgasmic pleasure as she ejaculated all over Scrooge's penis. Her fluid sprayed all over the blue whale's penis that was still inside her. As she laid on the raft panting, Scrooge continued to move his penis, which caused Jeanne to resume moaning and screaming.

"Ahhhh…. Scrooge… Stop… Ahhh… Give me… a break…" Jeanne tried to get Scrooge to slow down amidst all her moans and screams. But it is to no avail. The horny blue whale ignored her pleas and continued pumping into her vagina.

"Hyahhhhh!"

Jeanne screamed in pleasure as she ejaculated again all over the large rod penetrating her. She laid on the raft, paralysed, her mind long broken by the pleasure she experienced. Her facial expression was something unbecoming of a holy saint. She had been fucked senseless by the blue whale that was still penetrating her. Although she was unable to move her body consciously, her lower half continued to twitch and vibrate with every movement and every pump that Scrooge made.

As her body prepared for her third consecutive orgasm, Scrooge started to roar loudly, and water began to sprout out of his blowhole. The 3m penis started vibrating and a wave of semen began to shoot out of it into Jeanne's vagina.

At the same moment that Jeanne erupted into her third ejaculation, her vagina was engulfed by a sea of whale semen. As Scrooge starts to retract his penis back, whale semen continued to shoot out of it, eventually covering the Holy Maiden and the raft. Traces of whale semen sprayed onto her blue hoodie and black bikini.

There lies the Maid of Orléans, Holy Maiden of Salvation on a tiny raft, swimsuit torn and tattered, covered with whale semen, with a mixture of her own fluid and whale cum leaking out of her vagina.

Scrooge roared loudly and started diving back into the sea. As he did, he created a wave that started sending the mind-broken Jeanne back into the shore.

A few moments ago, at the beach

"Oh look, a whale!" "You hardly see one of those around, especially when it is not whale season."

I was at the beach, busy looking around for Jeanne, when a water sprout could be seen in the ocean. Most of the Servants were captivated by what seem to be a whale.

"Have anyone seen Jeanne anywhere? I am looking for her."

"Jeanne? I spotted her heading there." Musashi pointed to the far side of the beach. "She might be chilling with her dolphin."

"Thanks so much!" I thanked Musashi as I quickly headed towards the far side of the beach. But I was not prepared for the scene that would soon be presented in front of me.

Far side of the beach

"Jeanne! Jeanne!"

I shouted for Jeanne while walking towards the far side of the beach. "Where did Jeanne go?" I thought to myself as I had not seen a single soul on my way there.

Nearing the end of the beach, I spotted something white floating along the shoreline. Curiosity got the better of me as I ran towards the white unknown thing, hoping to find out what it is. If only I was not that curious, if only I had given up on finding Jeanne, then I would not have to face the terrible truth that I was able to witness.

"What in the world…" The white thing has a humanoid shape and it looked to be wearing a swimsuit. I inched closer to it, hoping to figure out what it is…

"What?! Noo… No…. Why…." I finally figured out what the white humanoid thing and as soon as I did, I fallen to my knees in despair. I could not believe my own eyes at the very sight that was displayed in front of me.

The sweet innocent Jeanne d' Arc, swimsuit torn and tattered, with her bikini just hanging off her body. The Holy Maiden of Salvation Jeanne d' Arc, covered in white gooey fluid, and fluid oozing out of her lower regions. The Maid of Orléans Jeanne d' Arc, with a face of euphoria as if she had been fucked senseless.

"… …" I was speechless and I had no idea how to react anymore. I sat on the beach, staring at the atrocity that was lying in front of me, unable to process anything or do anything. I just sat there, paralysed by the sight that was in front of me.

"… … Oh… Master… You are here…"

After what felt like forever, Jeanne finally spoke. "How… do I look? Guess… you finally… see my true self…" Jeanne calmly sat back up and started cleaning the white gooey fluid that was lingering on her body. To my horror, she started to lick the fluid that had covered her hands and face.

"… Yes Master… I am a naughty saint… I am not your innocent good girl… I love cocks… and love being fucked in my pussy…"

I could not believe the words coming out from Jeanne's mouth. The person sitting on the beach in front of me was an entirely different person that had fought together with me, that had laughed together with me, that had cried together with me.

"Oh… Are you thinking about this fluid? It is Scrooge's cum…" I stared at her with a face of disbelief. "You know… Scrooge… my blue whale? Ya… this is his cum…" Jeanne continued to explain while fingering out some of the fluid oozing out of her vagina and licking it seductively. "I don't know why you are surprised… Did you not read my skills? A constant supply of mana near the sea? It comes from this… I had to get mana transfer somewhere…"

It was pure torture hearing those words, and it was even more painful seeing the sweet and holy Jeanne fingering herself and licking the fluid off her hands. I wanted to run away, but I don't know whether it is curiosity or fear, I was rooted to the ground, unable to escape from the horror that was in front of me.

"Uhm… Jeanne… Does the rest…" I tried to force some words out of my mouth to break the silence between me and Jeanne.

"Does the rest know? Of course not, you silly Master." Jeanne suddenly crawled towards me and placed her fluid-stained finger in my lips. "This is a secret between you and me, not even Jalter knows about this."

"I know! Let us make a deal!" Before I could even ask what she meant by that, she had already leaned onto and kissed me on the lips.

"Noo… Jeanne… Please… Stop…" I tried to struggle and break free from her, but the horny saint just gripped tightly onto my face and continued to kiss me aggressively. All I could taste was her cum-stained mouth and tongue. I could not escape. Somebody please save me from this nightmare.

"With this… this entire thing will be our dirty… little… secret." After what felt like an eternity, Jeanne finally let go of me. "If you are cooperative, I might even let… you… fuck… me…" Jeanne began to touch and finger herself at her vagina. Sensual moans began to emit from her mouth.

At that point, I could not take it anymore. I fumbled myself away from her, and began to lifelessly walk back towards the main beach. As I silently walked back, I was haunted by her final words…

"Remember… Ahh… Master… This… Hyahh… is our… Hahh.. dirty… little… secret…"

End.

Author's Notes:

So… uhm… Thanks for reading. This is the first ever fanfiction that I have written so some parts might have sound weird. I would not have imagined that I would research and write about this type of content. (What am I even doing with my life).

If you were wondering, yes, this was based on the actual Jeanne-blue whale meme. Thanks to the wonderful people at citov4810 (Instagram) for "motivating" me to think of such a story. In case you were wondering about the format of the story, the original plan was to make a doujin, but since I am bad at art, I reckon I would write out a story first, so that it will make it easier when adapting into a doujin. (It would not be anytime soon)

Oh, but I might write a sequel involving Musashi and Jalter in the future (since I mentioned both of them in the story). Hopefully, those would not involve any whales or dolphins.

Please give some feedback and of course, you are always welcome to create fan art based on this (I know some of you horny artists are reading this). And if there is a talented or experienced doujin artists reading this, you are always welcomed to make a doujin based on this. I would love to see the type of degenerate content people might create.

No dolphins or whales were harmed in the writing of this story. This story is a work of fiction. And please do not fuck a dolphin or a whale.

References:

Butter-T [@Butter_T]. (2020, July 19). Knowledge Time. Did you know that the Maid of Orléans, Jeanne d'Arc, is 159 cm in height. But Blue Whale's [Tweet]. Twitter. https://twitter.com/butter_t/status/1284788510407356416

Citov4810 [@citov4810]. (2021, June 5). [Meme]. Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/p/CPuz8vZhhG8/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

Dolphin Communication Project. (2014). Top 5 Dolphin Myths - Dispelled!. https://www.dolphincommunicationproject.org/index.php/2014-10-21-00-13-26/dolphin-science-factoids/item/94358-top-5-dolphin-myths-dispelled

Howard, C. J. (2009). Dolphin Chronicles: One Woman's Quest to Understand the Sea's Most Mysterious Creatures. Bantam.

Jay [@highonthighs]. (2018, July 30). Did you know the maiden of orleans, Jeanne d'Arc, weighed 44 kilos. In contrast, a blue whale can ejaculate around [Tweet]. Twitter. https://twitter.com/highonthighs/status/1023747660027752448

Jeanne d'Arc. (2021, June 13). In Fate/Grand Order Wiki. https://fategrandorder.fandom.com/wiki/Jeanne_d%27Arc?oldid=953090

Jeanne d'Arc (Archer). (2021, June 14). In Fate/Grand Order Wiki. https://fategrandorder.fandom.com/wiki/Jeanne_d%27Arc_(Archer)?oldid=953914

Jeanne d'Arc (Ruler). (2021, May 10). In TYPE-MOON Wiki. https://typemoon.fandom.com/wiki/Jeanne_d%27Arc_(Ruler)?oldid=195455

Lunau, K. (2017, October 11). Scientists Inflated Dead Dolphin Dicks to Simulate Cetacean Sex. VICE. https://www.vice.com/en/article/j5gzqg/cetacean-reproduction-sex-dolphins-seals-dalhousie-university-science

Orbach, D. (2017, April 23). An intimate look at the mechanics of dolphin sex. EurekAlert!. https://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2017-04/eb2-ail041217.php

University of Wisconsin. (2012). Blue Whale Reproduction. Balaenoptera musculus. http://bioweb.uwlax.edu/bio203/s2012/olson_rile/reproduction.htm

Whales Online. (n.d.). Reproduction. Whales Online A Gremm Project. https://baleinesendirect.org/en/discover/life-of-whales/behaviour/reproduction/

Whales Online. (n.d.). Reproduction System. Whales Online A Gremm Project. https://baleinesendirect.org/en/discover/life-of-whales/physiology/reproductive-system/

Wetzel, C. (2020, November 17). Nine of the Weirdest Penises in the Animal Kingdom. Smithsonian Magazine. https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/nine-weirdest-penises-animal-kingdom-180976274/

#degenerate #fanfiction #fan fic smut #fanfic #fan fiction #fate grand order #fgo oc #fgo stuff #fgo smut #fgo fate grand order #jeanne d'arc #smut

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pastelsandpining · 4 years ago

Text

Under the Mistletoe

The eleventh prompt in 12 Days of Christmas by @zelink-prompts

Prompt List

Words: 2195

Summary: Zelda decides to try her hand at the mistletoe tradition, and it doesn’t go as planned.

BotW pre-calamity

Zelink-mas 2020 l Masterlist

For once, all inhabitants of the castle were worried about something other than the impending Calamity. It was still in the background and hovering over the kingdom like a storm cloud, but even her father had let up on his strict insistence of her training now that the holidays were edging closer. Zelda always favored this time of year. Seeing the halls of the castle decorated with holly and glittering fairies made her heart swell. It always gave her the impression that things were going to be okay. The staff putting up a tree the size of a pyre in the Great Hall made her smile. Everything about the holidays reminded her of her mother and of the fun they had when they took the time to decorate.

It was just a shame she couldn’t marvel at the décor today, because she had a plan in mind. Well, it was more of an impulsive decision than anything. It took less than a year, when she really paid attention, for her to catch on to the maidens and their habits. She wasn’t sure where they’d gotten it from, but she saw bundles of mistletoe tucked into doorways and corners as if they were trying to catch a knight under one. She heard their quiet giggles as she passed them, and she even caught a pair one year, proving that some still held to the tradition. Zelda managed to snag a bit for herself, and now she was walking through the halls as fast as her feet could carry her without looking suspicious. Her heart was pounding out of her chest and her hands were shaking, but she’d already committed to her idea. She couldn’t just give up now. What would she do with the mistletoe then? Return it? She had no idea how she managed to get it in the first place, and she wasn’t stealthy enough to sneak it back.

Zelda shut the doors of her bedroom behind her and leaned back against them, eyeing the green bundle of leaves and white berries in her hand. It began to dawn on her then just how incredibly stupid and inappropriate this was.

A wave of nervous nausea hit her and she held the plant tighter. This was never going to work. For the mistletoe tradition to be effective, both parties had to give consent. She really had nothing to go off of that made her think Link would want to kiss her. Why in Hylia’s sake did she grab this?

A knock on the door startled her out of her mental scolding and she jumped away from it with very warm cheeks.

“Yes?” she called out, though she dreaded the voice that would answer. Link always came by around this time--she’d memorized it to the nearest second and sure enough, his voice carried through the oak doors back to her.

“It’s me, Princess.” Of course it was.

Zelda quickly tossed the plant onto her vanity, but she had nothing to cover it with. The best she could do was stuff it between the mirror and the top of the table, and hope he didn’t see it. She nearly tripped trying to get back to her chair--where she wouldn’t look so suspicious.

“Come in,” she called, dropping into the seat just as her door swung open.

“I-- are you alright?” Link crossed the room in seconds so that he could crouch before her with furrowed eyebrows. “Your face is red.” His hands, far gentler than they should’ve been with how calloused they were, held her cheeks, and then her forehead. Goddesses, did he have to be so stupid?

“I’m fine,” she assured, but she made no effort to bat his hands away. “It’s just a little warm.”

“Are you sure you don’t have a fever?” he asked. It took all of her willpower but this time, she took his hands and pulled them away from her face in the hopes that he stopped asking so many questions.

“I think I would know if I were sick, but thank you for the concern.”

Link still looked skeptical, but he dropped the subject and sat himself on the floor as if there wasn’t a chair behind him. A chair she’d brought into her room specifically for him.

“Delivery from Purah,” he said at last and extended the Sheikah Slate to her. Zelda snatched it eagerly and activated it, tapping away so she could discover whatever the little genius had uncovered.

“The Sheikah Sensor?” she asked, looking up at him.

“Purah said there’s a compendium programmed into the Slate. You can register anything into it from plants to monsters by using that ruin there--it creates real time images, and the sensor will track whatever you set it to.”

“Brilliant,” Zelda mused. “This could be incredibly useful in finding rare herbs for medicine, or perhaps even other Sheikah relics! If we captured, say, a guardian, do you think it would help us uncover more? Did Purah mention anything about it?”

“I’m just the messenger,” Link replied with his hands up in defense. “Technology is your thing, Princess.”

“Some use you are,” she joked as she searched for whatever rune would allow her to capture her surroundings in real time. She wasn’t quite sure how it worked, but she lifted the Slate to find Link on the screen as if it were a reflection. “Smile.”

He blinked, but she snapped the image before he could do anything else. A smaller image popped up over the picture, zoomed in on the handle peeking out over his shoulder. In small text read the words ‘Master Sword’. She handed it over eagerly, itching to know how it knew the name of something so specific. It was programmed in without a doubt, but how had the Sheikah managed such an impressive feat?

“So if I captured you on the Slate, do you think it would say ‘goddess blood’?” he asked, panning the device to her. Zelda raised her hands in front of her face.

“I highly doubt it,” she replied. “I don’t think it would be that specific.”

“I wonder.. how far can it capture?”

Before she could think to stop him, Link was on his feet and adventuring around the room, pointing the Slate at anything he could find. Zelda stumbled after him, nearly tripping on the hem of her skirt.

“I thought technology was my thing,” she accused, reaching for the relic.

“It’s not detecting much,” he replied with a shrug, spinning to face her. “But it catches the bow.”

Ah, right. The royal guard’s bow that sat on the mantle of her fireplace. The same bow that Link had once gifted her, but she never thought to hide it until he was already in her room, and he never said a thing about it to make her want to take it down.

“Register it,” she said with a shrug. “But I believe it’ll be quite impossible to fill. There are thousands of things across Hyrule that it may recognize.”

“We could do it,” he answered, glancing over to her before doing a double take back to the Slate. It wasn’t until he started walking towards her vanity that she realized what it might’ve picked up. All previous color drained from her face and she resisted the urge to curl up and hide. Could she fake innocence?

“What is it?” she asked, but her voice was hardly as convincing as she would’ve liked it to be.

“Mistletoe..?” He pulled it from its pathetic hiding spot and lifted it so he could get a better look. Zelda took a shaky breath.

“It’s odd how mistletoe and holly get mixed up to this day,” she rambled, fiddling with the sleeves of her dress. “One incorrect depiction led to the red berries being associated with mistletoe. I thought perhaps I could study both plants and see what further differences exist so we might correct that misconception.”

Link looked—well, she wasn’t quite sure how he looked. He could be impossible to read when he wanted to be, and it made her hate how much of an open book she was by comparison. He probably saw right through her, could read every twitch of her hands and every movement of her eyes. He crossed over to her, setting him close enough to press the bundle into her hands.

“Your business is your business, Princess,” he said at last as he took a step back. “But for your research, it’s more effective to hang it up.”

“Link, I-“ Zelda stepped forwards, reaching a hand out to him before letting it fall back to her side. There would really be no going back from this, no matter what she said or did. Her impulsivity got her into this mess, and she had no idea if it would get her out. She’d never flirted a day in her life. But she took a breath and lifted the mistletoe high above her head. “Care to prove your hypothesis?”

Link’s cheeks flushed, but he didn’t move. He was as quiet as ever, and she was starting to lose her nerve. Should she laugh and say that she was joking? Should she pretend a maid had left it behind?

“I-“ But she didn’t get much more out before she was interrupted.

“Princess, I-.. you’re not serious.” But he sounded unsure of himself.

“I am,” she stuttered and lowered her arm, holding the plant piece to her chest. “But it’s a silly tradition, and it’s never stated that you have to partake in it. You’re free to decline if you so wish and if I have caused any discomfort, I offer my sincerest apologies.”

“Zelda.” Her heart stopped in her chest. He never addressed her without the formalities attached. “If you wanted to kiss me, I’m in no position to deny you.”

“No,” she said immediately, resisting the urge to drop and stomp on the mistletoe. “You have every right to refuse.”

“I don’t want to.”

Zelda blinked and wondered if she’d really heard him right, or if she’d wake up to find herself alone at late hours in the morning. Of all the ways she realistically saw this going, it was not like this.

“I..” But she didn’t know what else to say.

Link enveloped her hand and gently pried the plant from it. With a faint smile that could only be described as sheepish, he held it above their heads.

“I want to prove my hypothesis. It’s important to the research of the princess,” he said.

Zelda searched his eyes, but there was nothing betraying any thoughts or feelings he might’ve had. In a way, she was getting what she wanted, but it wasn’t worth it if he felt pressured or...

“Link..”

He took another small step forward, leaving little space between them. There was enough wait time for her to pull away, but instead her free hand came up and she brushed her fingers hesitantly over his cheek. His skin was so soft and warm. She wondered if his lips were the same. The thought sent her head spinning and her heart pounding and she decided she couldn’t take it anymore. His eyes were too blue and too pretty, and his breath on her lips made her shiver, and Zelda closed the space between them with a quick and hesitant kiss.

“I’m sorry,” she stuttered, averting her gaze.

Link’s fingers grabbed her chin and gently lifted her head.

“I don’t think it was sufficient evidence,” he stated simply. “You always say a thorough experiment includes multiple trials.”

Her cheeks were burning hotter than they’d ever been before and she wondered for a moment if she did have a fever, because she was weak in her knees and the room felt very warm.

Instead of replying however, she grabbed the front of his champion’s tunic and pulled him into another kiss—this one far longer than the first. She let herself indulge a little, relishing in the fact that his lips indeed were as soft and warm as they looked. His arms hugged her waist, pressing her to him, and she let her fingers play with the hair in his little ponytail.

If anyone had told her that her ridiculous plan would work, Zelda would’ve laughed in their face.

When they finally parted, she dissolved into a fit of giggles and buried her face in his shoulder, because he was smiling at her and she felt like her heart was just going to burst.

“Was that sufficient evidence to back up your claim?” she asked. Link hummed in response.

“I don’t know. We might need to test it further,” he replied. Zelda squeaked out another laugh and lifted her head.

“You are insufferable.”

“And I’m keeping this,” Link replied as he waved the mistletoe in front of her face. She swatted at it with a huff.

“I thought I was using that for research. Steal your own.”

“Isn’t that what I just did?”

She rolled her eyes hard, but Link lifted the bundle above their heads with a cheeky grin, and she was in no place to deny him another kiss. A very Happy Hylia’s Day to her.

#zelink #botw zelink #botw link #botw zelda #zelink prompts #christmas prompts #mistletoe prompt #go zelda go zelda go #i like flirty link sorry not sorry

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anna-the-undertaker · 4 years ago

Text

La Volpe

Ex criminal/thief MC

Mitsuhide x MC

Reader insert

At Azuchi…

The Warlords sat in the audience chamber, all wearing grim expressions, each with differing severity.

“Lord Nobunaga,” Hideyoshi began. “What do you plan to do?”

His face was a mixture of worry and anger, but Nobunaga just smiled cockily even though everyone present could tell that he was enraged himself.

“We will do nothing,” his grin widened.

Mitsunari’s concerned voice flitted through the room, “They likely knew that we don’t currently have the resources or numbers to take Kasugayama with kennyo’s threat pressing against us.”

Masamune punched the tatami mat as hard as he could, “I’m going to kill them,” he gritted out through clenched teeth. “Send me to get her back and I’ll bring back the heads of all of them.”

Ieyasu scoffed, “That’s suicide. What good are you dead? All we can do for now is hope she can hold out until we have a plan.”

There was worry written in the blonds eyes, along with an ever present fury.

“Mitsuhide,” Nobunaga called.

“Yes, my lord?” Mitsuhide smiled, keeping his calm facade even though he was seething on the inside.

“Find out what's happening in Kasugayama and if our Fireball is still alive.”

The Kitsune’s smile widened, a gleam in his eyes, “As you command, my lord.”

Mitsuhide’s eyes hardened as soon as he was out of the room. If anything had happened to (y/n)… The Kitsune would stop at nothing to bring Kasugayama to its knees. Come Hell or high water, he would find a way to get his Little Mouse back.

_____________________

A week later…

There was a commotion at the front gate. Vassal’s were scrambling as a single horse and rider came bursting through the courtyard wearing a suit of Uesugi armor.

Coming to a sudden halt, the rider fell from the saddle, hitting the ground hard. They pushed themself up, sitting back on their knees, a growl of pain gritting through clenched teeth. Soldiers surrounded them as they removed their helmet, letting hair come falling down their back and revealing their face.

“It’s the Princess!” One of the vassals shouted as they rushed to pull you up and bring you inside. “Someone go alert the lords! And bring Lord Ieyasu quickly! She’s injured!”

The castle was now buzzing as vassals and servants alike rushed about to have everything prepared as the Warlords arrived just in time to see the state you were in and their eyes widened.

An arrow protruded from your shoulder and thigh, a ripped piece of fabric tied hastily above the leg wound to slow the blood flow. Sweat doused your skin along with dirt and grime that covered you from head to toe. Blood had soaked into the pale blue armor turning it purple, almost black. There were bags under your eyes so deep it looked like you hadn’t eaten or slept in days and a cut that ran across your cheek and lip.

The Vassals ushered you into your room with Ieyasu hot on their hills, supplies piled in his arms before pushing them out and slamming the door shut.

“What the hell happened to you?” he demanded as he sat you down as gently as he could and began pulling the armor off, cutting the fabric without agitating your wounds.

Your pain and exhaustion took away all your inhibitions and made your tongue sharper than before, “Isn’t it fucking obvious? I escaped. I thought you were smarter than this.”

Normally he would retort but at the moment he just let it go. His panicked mind held back any and all words other than asking how.

“That can be explained later,” you spat. “For now, just get these damn arrows out!”

He removed the last bit of clothing leaving you in the fabric you had used to bind your breasts and trousers after cutting an opening to expose the arrow in your leg.

His eyes widened at the sight before him. Elbow to neck was covered in colorful designs that flowed towards the chest. Your entire back was covered as well, depicting a red fox along with other designs surrounding it.

He was brought out of his stupor by the shivering that began racking your body. Placing a hand on your shoulder to hold you steady, he began feeling around the wounds. They had become feverish, hot to the touch and swollen, red streaks flowing over the affected areas. All he could think was that you were lucky that infection had not set in yet as he set to work. A mumbled apology fell from his lips as he pulled the arrow free and a scream tore from your throat.

He finally emerged some hours later, a tired sigh escaping his lips. The other Warlords were there waiting for him as he instructed some of the maids to have some light food prepared for when you woke up.

“What is her condition, Ieyasu?”

The blond’s green eyes locked onto Nobunaga’s carnelian ones, “See for yourself,” he huffed. “She’s asleep for now but she is going to need to be on bed rest for her wounds to heal. (Y/n) claims that she escaped though I can’t hazard a guess as to how.”

Mitsuhide rounded the corner with his customary grin, “The intelligence I’ve gathered can confirm that. All of Kasugayama is in chaos thanks to our little Chatelaine. However, the only way we will know what she did is when she tells us.”

Nobunaga came forward with the others close behind to peek into the room. You were rolled over onto your side, your kimono hanging half off showing off the wrapping around your shoulder and exposing part of your back piece. Their reactions were similar to Ieyasu’s when he first saw it with only Nobunaga and Mitsuhide keeping a straight face. They closed the door now that their concerns were put at ease and left you to rest.

____________________________

A few days passed before you were able to move around but when you were finally well enough a banquet was held to celebrate your return. Masamune had made all of your favorite dishes and everyone seemed to be in high spirits.

Nobunaga sat upon his dais watching you with a large grin, “Fireball, I order you to tell me what those colored markings on your skin mean.”

A sad smile graced your lips from behind your sake cup, “They are called tattoos, ink pushed under the skin with needles and are a symbol of what I once was and that I have paid off my debt.”

Many brows raised in response before Mitsunari spoke up, “What do you mean?”

You downed the rest of your sake in one go and sat the cup down, “We all have parts of our pasts that we have left behind, but if you must know, I was a street rat. I had to steal food in order to eat and I had no home until a group of criminals took me in. In return for saving me from starvation the leader had me work for them. They taught me how to steal and with every completed job they added more ink to my skin until I was finally allowed to leave.”

Ieyasu laughed, “You’ve never struck me as a professional criminal.”

“That’s what made me so good at it. I looked unassuming and could blend in with the crowds with ease. Distract some guards while the others grabbed the goods or I would scope out our target. Eventually I was best among them and they were sending me out on my own. They called me La Volpe,” you poured yourself another cup. “That means ‘the fox’. I guess Mitsuhide and I share a nickname. What do you have to say about that, Kitsune?”

The look of pure surprise on the man's face was priceless, sending you, Masamune, and Nobunaga himself into a fit of laughter.

He quickly fixed his expression with a smirk, “And you were never caught?”

“No. It isn’t difficult to change your appearance so that no one recognizes you. Cutting your hair and changing clothes are often enough, and hiding a feminine physique is easy with the right bindings.”

“Is that how you escaped Kasugayama?” Hideyoshi questioned.

You chuckled wryly, “Partly.”

“Explain,” Nobunaga commanded.

After taking another sip of your drink you sat up straight, “I used the first two days to memorize the guard shifts and took note of the one that was closest to my size, then waited till both kenshin and Shingen were out of the castle.”

“What does that have to do with how you escaped?” Ieyasu grumbled.

“With both of them in the castle, it would have been next to impossible for me to escape alive. The Uesugi-Takeda are under the impression that I am Nobunaga’s concubine so I used it to my advantage,” you rolled your eyes and laughed. “I’ll make this simple for all of you, all men are willing to believe two things about a woman: One, that she is weak, and two, that she finds him attractive. Naturally, I played the terrified girl and lured the guard into my cell before knocking him out and stealing his armor then locked him inside after tying him up and gagging him. I was already at the stables by the time they realized what had happened and they gave chase. Which is why I ended up as a pincushion.”

“Damn lass,” Masamune was laughing hard. “Who knew you were such a badass!”

“Honestly, if it weren’t for the horse riding lessons from you and Mitsuhide, I wouldn’t have made it back here alive. So thank you.”

“Maybe we should have you working for Mitsuhide instead of acting as our Chatelaine.”

You waved him off and smirked, “No, that part of my life is over. I’m fine with where I am. However, I’d be happy to teach some of the vassals what I know.”

Conversation flowed smoothly after that. You were glad to just sit back and watch as everyone smiled amongst each another. Happiness surrounded you as your eyes softened.

“Well, well, Little Mouse, you look splendidly content. Or should I call you Little Fox now?” Mitsuhide teased as he took a seat next to you.

You chuckled, “You may call me whatever you like, Kitsune.”

You both fell into a comfortable silence and you started to doze off. Your head began to fall forward when Mitsuhide pulled you closer and laid your head in his lap. His fingers ran through your hair, a softness he only showed to you covered his features as he gazed down at your sleeping form. He still had plans to cause more chaos for the Uesugi-Takeda, but for now he settled for watching over you.

His gaze lifted back up to the others when he caught sight of Nobunaga smirking at him knowingly. The Devil King lifted his cup, his voice echoing over the chatter.

“A toast to our Chatelaine, our resident Red Fox.”

They all raised their cups quietly having noticed you were now fast asleep. The kitsune smiled as he lifted you up and left the room, making his way to yours. He placed a kiss on your brow, “Welcome home, (y/n).”

#Mitsuhide Akechi #masamune date #nobunaga oda #Ieyasu Tokugawa #mitsunari ishida #hideyoshi toyotomi #mitushide x mc #ikemen sengoku #Headcanon #reader insert

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sukifans · 4 years ago

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PET • RI • CHOR

[n] a pleasant smell that accompanies the first rain after a long period of warm, dry weather

ZUKO X OC SERIES

SUMMARY: a captured waterbender and the fire prince may sound like an unlikely pair, but kena never much cared about others’ expectations and zuko, well… he was just along for the ride

A/N: we have read more cuts, bitches. also iroh is the ultimate wingman lmao. enjoy this pt it is very soft and fun ~

⏎ MASTERLIST // PART I « PART II » PART III

Zuko found himself walking down the seemingly endless corridors of the Fire Nation palace. He caught sight of his reflection in a window pane and stopped to look. He quickly reached up to touch his face when he realized he no longer had his scar. The skin that was usually rough and dry and cracked was now as smooth as the rest of his cheek. His hair was longer, pulled half-up in a top knot that held the Fire Lord’s hairpiece. He moved his fingers away from his face to touch the golden flame but stopped when he heard a voice.

“Hey, over here!” the voice called. He turned and saw the familiar girl from the tea house standing at the other end of the corridor. She giggled before running off, rounding a corner.

“Wait!” he shouted, chasing after her. He was only barely keeping up, just catching glimpses of her long braid or her clothes whipping around a corner before she disappeared again. He stopped when he saw her standing still in front of a doorway, smiling. “Who are you?”

Her face immediately fell and her eyes filled with tears. Guilt squeezed his chest, making it hard to breathe. “You mean, you don’t remember me, Zuko?”

“I- I’m sorry. You’re so familiar, I just can’t place you-“ he stammered.

“You forgot me!” she roared, face contorting with anger now. He took a step back, frightened by her distorted features. “You killed me, and now you forgot me! How could you?”

“I d-didn’t kill anyone,” he whispered. The girl opened her mouth wider than should’ve been possible and let out an inhuman wail, running into the dark room beyond the doorway. Against his better judgement, he followed.

Zuko’s heart raced when he looked around and found himself in the Agni Kai room he’d been burned in. Three figures stood in the middle of the room with their backs to him, one on their knees between the other two. Cautiously, he approached. He felt sick to his stomach when he saw his father and Azula were the two standing figures. On her knees was the waterbending girl from the infirmary he’d known as a child. Ozai was holding her by her hair as silent tears rolled down her cheeks, forcing her to hold her head up.

“Let her go,” Zuko demanded. Ozai and Azula both laughed.

“Or what, Zuzu? You can’t fight both of us and protect the snow savage,” Azula purred. She crouched down and grabbed Kena’s face roughly, her sharp nails digging into her skin. Kena whimpered helplessly and Zuko felt like he’d been hollowed out. The poor girl’s whole body was trembling with fear.

“Zuko, help me. Please,” she whispered desperately. He tried to move to reach her but his feet were rooted to the spot. Ozai yanked her hair and Kena swallowed a yelp.

“Look, little girl. He’s not going to save you. In fact, he gave you to me.” He forced her head back up to make her look Zuko in the eye.

“I didn’t! Kena, please-“

“Beg, savage, and maybe he’ll help you,” Ozai snarled, throwing her onto her face at Zuko’s feet. No matter how hard he tried, he still couldn’t move. He felt like he might fall apart when he and Kena made eye contact just as she started sobbing openly and loudly.

“Zuko, please! Don’t hurt me! I’ll do anything, just please don’t hurt me again!”

“I- I would never-“ he started but was cut off by Kena’s desperate cries as she dropped her head again. “I’m trying but I can’t move.”

She tilted her head up and suddenly she was older — the girl from the tea shop again. With a rush he realized he could move again and immediately dove down to scoop her up. As soon as he touched her, she screamed like she’d been burned and scrambled away from him, looking terrified. Ozai laughed again and grabbed her by the throat, lifting her up off the ground so her feet barely skimmed the floor. She desperately clawed at his arm but Ozai was entirely unbothered. She was struggling to breathe, chest heaving while she choked and sputtered.

“You will learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher,” his father said and Zuko’s blood turned to ice in his veins.

Azula approached Kena with her hand engulfed in blue flame. The waterbender thrashed and fought but couldn’t get free, not before Azula brought her hand to her face-

“Kena!” Zuko sat bolt upright in his bed, drenched in sweat and his heart racing. His blanket was tangled and twisted around his legs and his pillow was somehow across the room. When he realized what he’d seen had just been a nightmare, he started trying to calm himself down with deep, uneven breaths, holding his head in his shaking hands.

Kena. She was here. She spoke with him. Hell, he had a date with her in less than twenty four hours. Sana had told him that she and her mother had escaped from the palace before being executed, but he had never been sure whether or not she was lying to spare his feelings. To see her here, alive and seemingly happy... he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to speak to her again without blowing his cover. She didn’t seem to recognize him, what with the scar and all the time that has passed. He didn’t know if he preferred that over her knowing it was him or not.

Sighing, Zuko slipped out of bed and started to dress himself. He needed to get out for a bit and take a walk, maybe pick a fight, to clear his head. He slung his swords in their sheath over his shoulder and tied the ribbon of his mask around his head before creeping out of the apartment, careful not to wake Iroh. He wandered down the empty streets, sticking to the shadows cast by the shoddy buildings of the Lower Ring in the moonlight and slipped into small alleyways to avoid running into any late-night stragglers.

His breath caught in his throat when he turned into an alley see someone else at the other end. There stood a woman in a flowing white dress with a large black bag across her body. Most peculiarly, she also wore a mask — a black base painted with white detail to depict a smiling koi face. She cocked her head curiously as they studied each other silently. He briefly considered pulling out his swords, believing he’d found his fight, but changed his mind when he realized she didn’t seem to be carrying any weapons. If she had, surely she would’ve drawn it by now.

Slowly, she nodded to him in acknowledgement before turning and disappearing around the corner. He hurried to follow but she was nowhere to be seen when he poked his head out of the alley. Maybe she really was a spirit of some sort. Ba Sing Se was certainly weird enough for it.

Kena woke up late in the morning, sunshine streaming in through her small window and directly across her closed eyelids. She sighed and turned over, burying her face into the pillow to maybe sneak a few more minutes. That, is until whoever was at the door started banging on it again like they had been when they’d woken her. She continued to lay there, listening for Fera. They knocked again. Clearly Fera wouldn’t be answering this morning. She had probably already left for her job as a maid for a wealthy family in the Upper Ring. Groaning, she pushed herself to her feet and wrapped her robe around her body.

“I’m coming, I’m coming! Spirits, just stop banging on the door before you break the damn thing!” She yanked the door open only to immediately be trampled by four raucous girls rushing into the apartment.

“Morning, sunshine!”

“Are you okay? You just left us yesterday!”

“Yeah, you looked like you’d run into a spirit or something!”

“Did he reject you for some reason? Do we need to go knock him around for a bit until he finds his sense?”

“Because we totally will.”

“Yeah, we can take that skinny kid, easy.”

Kena laughed at her friends. “Guys, it’s fine. Last night I just remembered that Fera had asked me to pick something up for dinner from the market and I’d totally forgotten so I had to hurry. Sorry I didn’t say anything, you know my one-track mind.” She went to the kitchen to put on some tea while the rest all settled down in the living room.

“But you did ask him out, right?” Jin pressed and Kena rolled her eyes, cheeks heating up.

“Yes. You guys shoved me back in there.”

The girls looked at her expectantly. “And? What did he say?” Mona gestured for her to continue, raising her eyebrows.

“He said yes,” she answered quietly and her friends immediately started hooting and hollering. “Shut up! The neighbors are gonna make a noise complaint again!”

“Aren’t you excited, Sola?” Kyali sighed dreamily, clasping her hands. “I don’t think you’ve been on a date in the entire time we’ve known you and now you’re going out with this hot, brooding, mysterious guy.”

“I bet he writes poetry,” said Oma. “Maybe he’ll write something about you!”

“You guys are insane,” Kena laughed, shaking her head. “All of you need to stop reading those garbage romance books.”

“Look, we all already know you’re Miss Independent and you don’t need a man or whatever. You can be excited about your date tonight,” Jin said pointedly. Kena rolled her eyes as she carried over the pot of tea and five cups.

“Fine, okay; I’m a little excited,” she said, pouring everyone a cup before sitting on the mat next to Mona. She was more than a little excited, but for different reasons than her friends thought. She was also incredibly nervous, unsure of whether or not to confront her childhood best friend.

Mona took a sip and smirked. “Is this jasmine?” Kena shook her head exasperatedly, hiding a smile, as her friends all laughed.

Zuko sat on the floor in front of his uncle, who by all appearances was attacking him with a small comb. He winced when the teeth pulled through another knot, grumbling.

“Nephew, when was the last time you combed your hair?” Iroh tsked as he gave another mighty pull.

“I’ve had bigger things to worry about recently, in case you forgot,” Zuko responded. Iroh sighed dramatically.

“Often, we only feel inside as good as we look outside,” he said. Zuko rolled his eyes.

“This seems like a little much.”

“It’s your first date with this girl! You need to make a good first impression.”

“I’ve already made a first impression. She knocked me over and cut her hand open.”

“And that was very kind of you to help her!”

“You kind of gave me no choice.”

“I could tell you liked her, I was just pushing you in the right direction,” Iroh said smugly and Zuko grimaced. “But you’re still working on your first impression. A first impression only ends when the relationship does.”

“That doesn’t make any sense, Uncle.” Zuko made a strangled noise of protest as Iroh started slicking his hair down with some sort of slimy paste.

“I used to be very popular with the ladies in my prime. I can give you some tips, if you’d like.”

“I would not,” Zuko interjected quickly but his uncle steamrolled ahead anyways.

“First, you should compliment her as soon as you see her. Tell her she is more radiant than the first fire lily of spring.”

“Talking about fire lilies seems like a bad move,” Zuko said. His cheeks tinged pink, however, remembering the fire lily he gave her that night in the palace — the last time he’d ever seen her until the day before.

“Perhaps you’re right, Nephew,” Iroh mused, looking thoughtful. “Instead, tell her that her eyes are more captivating than a moon flower during a lunar eclipse. Or, perhaps that her presence is as warm and comforting as a fresh cup of tea on a winter night! Remember, this could be your future wife!”

“That’s enough, thank you.” Zuko stood quickly, having heard enough to be sufficiently embarrassed. “You’re going to make me late if you keep messing with my hair.”

“I suppose that will be as good as it’s going to get, then. Do a turn so I can see you properly.”

“Uncle, honestly-“

“Turn, Prince Zuko.” Exasperated, Zuko turned in a quick circle, shoulders tense as Iroh scrutinized him. “You look very handsome! But you would look much better if you smiled.” Iroh beamed as if to demonstrate and Zuko gave him a sour look. “I said ‘smile,’ not ‘scowl.’ Don’t do that in front of her.”

“I’m leaving now,” Zuko said flatly, walking towards the door.

“Be nice! Pay for dinner! Don’t frown! Stay out as late as you want, I won’t wait up,” Iroh called after him as he hurried out.

Kena felt her heart start racing when she caught sight of him outside the Pao Family Tea House, hair combed and flattened into a middle part that she had to swallow a laugh about — surely Iroh’s work.

“Hey, Lee,” she said as she approached. “You look so cute.” She laughed and she ruffled his hair. He gave her a pained look and caught her wrist in his hand.

“It took my uncle ten minutes to do my hair.”

“That’s sweet,” she said with a soft smile, surprising him as she laced their fingers together. He willed himself not to go red in the face. “Come on, the festival’s already begun!”

She dragged him through the streets, talking excitedly about the food she wanted him to try and a few performers that would be on the stage in the middle of the Lower Ring later. He didn’t say much, just enjoyed her presence and the fact that she was alive and here and somehow with him. Any chance he got he stared at her, analyzing every detail of her face and comparing it to what he could remember from childhood. She still had the same medium-brown skin, dark hair, and grey eyes of course, but it all felt new and exciting again; her hair was longer and flowed freely down her back and her eyes, though still kind and sparkling, held something deeper that had not been there before. He also noticed a long, thin white scar that trailed down the left side of her face from her forehead, through her eyebrow, and down to the corner of her jaw. The thought of someone hurting her made him angrier than he’d anticipated, but he tried not to focus on it. Instead he fixated on how she was almost always smiling or laughing, how casually and comfortably she touched him when she held his hand or grabbed his arm when he made her laugh or brushed her fingers against his forehead when she put a goofy hat she’d won in a game on top of his head. It had been a long time since he’d let himself just be around someone, and it felt incredible. She was still, despite everything, so unabashedly Kena that it made his heart squeeze in his chest. He didn’t know how he hadn’t recognized her as soon as he laid eyes on her, because it seemed overwhelmingly obvious now.

Kena, meanwhile, was trying her hardest to get him to slip up. Something had happened between that night and the day before, because she saw immediately from the way he looked at her that he knew. She figured it was only a matter of time before he misstepped somewhere.

“Lee is an interesting name,” she’d mentioned casually as they watched two contortionists on stage twist themselves into impossible positions.

“I really have to beg to differ on that one,” he’d said in response.

“It’s just a very common name in the Fire Nation, you know? Before I came to Ba Sing Se, there were at least a dozen people named Lee in even the smallest villages. But oddly enough, I’ve never met anyone named Lee here except for you.”

He’d simply shrugged and said, “my village was colonized by the Fire Nation decades ago. I guess the name bled into the local culture.” She’d hummed noncommittally at that and went back to square one with a new plan.

“So, you mentioned you and your uncle traveled around a lot,” she’d started. “Why?”

He hesitated just a beat too long. “We were... uh, part of this traveling circus.” She couldn’t believe he didn’t have a better lie ready.

“Really? What did you do? Actually, let me guess.” She tapped her chin for dramatic effect as she considered something Zuko would likely be awful at. Her face split into a wicked grin. “You juggled!”

He looked at her, slightly annoyed. “Yeah, you got me. I juggled.”

“I’ve always wanted to learn how to juggle. Can you show me something?” She handed him a couple small fruits from a cart they were standing near, looking up at him expectantly. He looked ashen as he slowly took them from her. Awkwardly, he threw them up in the air and they flew in wildly different directions, one landing directly on his head.

“I haven’t practiced for a while.” He cleared his throat, a deep red creeping across his cheeks as she laughed.

“Ah, I understand.”

When they stopped for food at a noodle cart, she’d mentioned they offered supposedly authentic Fire Nation fire flakes. He’d nodded in acknowledgement and then ordered the blandest thing on the menu. The prince was certainly going to give her a run for her money.

Zuko didn’t understand why she kept bringing up the Fire Nation throughout the night. Did she know? He didn’t think she did. She hadn’t at the tea shop, why would she now? Did he do something to tip her off? She’d been in Ba Sing Se for many years; she most likely had heard nothing about his banishment or his hunt for the Avatar and had yet to bring up anything about his scar. He hoped that she didn’t think he was here to hurt people — surely she wouldn’t have asked him on a date if she thought that, right?

Night had long since fallen, but the streets were still bursting with light and life from the festival. He had a small grin on his face while he watched Kena start an argument with a man running some rigged betting game. She accused him of cheating and he shouted at her to leave immediately or he’d call in the Dai Li. Grumbling, Kena grabbed his hand again and stalked away. He was still smiling as she pulled him along and she sent him a (mostly) playful glare.

“What are you grinning at? I just lost ten silver pieces!” she huffed.

“You,” he responded without thinking. Realizing what he said, he quickly shut his mouth. They both flush and looked away from each other.

She took in a deep breath to regain her composure before turning her head to look at him again. “Do you want to see something cool?” There was no way he would’ve been able to refuse that excited look in her eye, even if he’d wanted to.

Zuko followed as she lead him into an alley and started climbing up a fire escape. He watched as she nimbly maneuvered herself higher and higher. “Are you sure this is... legal?” he asked hesitantly.

“It’s not,” she called down to him, peeking her head over the railing, “but it’s alright! We’re crafty. Now hurry up or we’ll miss it!”

“If you say so...” he trailed off as he gripped the side of the ladder and started making his way up. When he reached the top, he found her sitting with her legs dangling over the edge of the flat roof and staring at the city skyline, holding her chin in her hands. He sat down next to her and took the opportunity of the quiet moment to examine her profile illuminated by the festival lights below. She leaned her head on his shoulder and sighed contentedly. At first he tensed but then he slowly relaxed, slowly wrapping his arm around around her waist. They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, taking in the view. Well, she was taking in the view; Zuko was trying to ignore the goosebumps running across his skin from her warm breath dancing across his neck.

“Lee,” she started quietly, “I know we just met yesterday, but I think I really like you.”

“I really like you, too,” he agreed, surprising himself a little. He rested his cheek on top of her head and closed his eyes. She still smelled the same — something fresh and pleasant and clean that he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

Kena was tired of dancing around what they both knew. Throwing caution to the wind, she cleared her throat and spoke. “You know, I used to be a servant for the royal family in the Fire Nation.”

He cursed himself for the way his whole body flinched. “Yeah? How was that?”

“Terrible. I was taken from my home when I was young and kept there for years. It was just my mom and I.”

“No friends?”

“They don’t exactly let the help just make friends all willy-nilly. That’s a good foundation for a staff revolt.” She rolled her eyes. “I did have one friend I managed to make though.”

“Oh, that’s nice.”

“Yeah, except he was the prince.”

She heard his breath hitch. “Oh. That’s rough.”

“Yeah. That’s why we had to leave, actually. Ozai found out and was not happy his firebender son was making nice with someone like me. Apparently he wanted to execute us to make some sort of point, but Ursa and the other servants helped us sneak out of the palace before we were taken to be killed.”

“I’ve heard a lot of good about Ursa,” he said softly, tenderness in his voice.

“She was a wonderful woman. There was a lot of her in the prince, too. I guess that’s why I liked them so much.” He said nothing, so she continued. “It broke my heart to leave. I never even got to say goodbye even though I pinky-promised to see him again the night before Ozai found out.” She thought for a moment. “I always wondered if he ever thought of me, because I thought of him all the time.”

“I- he did. Probably. I don’t know,” he huffed. “I mean that I think, if it were me, I would’ve thought about you every day.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

They were quiet for a long time before Kena finally spoke, smiling faintly. “You and your uncle stick out like two sore thumbs here.”

His shoulder shook under her cheek when he chuckled. “I know. I think it started out as a joke, and then we actually couldn’t think of anything better.”

She sat up straight now and cupped his face in her hands. Gently, she brushed her thumb over the rough, gnarled skin on his cheek. She wasn’t sure why, but a few slow tears rolled down her cheeks. “We match,” she said softly, meeting his eyes when he used his fingertip to trace the scar that ran down her face.

“It looks much better on you,” he joked and she gave him a watery smile. “I thought I’d never see you again.”

Suddenly, she lunged at him to squeeze him in a tight hug, knocking them both backwards into a pile. “It’ll take a lot more than your awful father to kill me,” she murmured into his chest from her position on top of him. Hesitant at first, he wrapped his arms around her. It just felt so right to be with her again. He couldn’t help tightening his grip and burying his face into her cascade of hair. In the background he could hear fireworks going off, but he didn’t care about anything that wasn’t her.

“I missed you, Kena,” he said, so quietly the wind almost carried the words away. His lungs ached because her name on his lips felt like a long, full breath of fresh air after years underwater.

“I missed you too, Zuko.” Her cool skin against his warmth felt like a wave of water over the flames inside of him. He finally, for the first time he could remember since losing his mother, felt safe. He clutched at her clothes to pull her in as close as possible, breathing her in deeply. She smelled like the first monsoon after a lifelong dry season; she smelled like petrichor.

A/N:

TAGS: @beifongsss @the-lva-way @lammello @llorom6nnic @idkdude776 @aangsupremacy @royahllty @mamooska8 @bucky-blogs @youneedmemanidonotneedyou @eridanuswave @rosetheshapeshifter @fantasticchaoticwho @bwndito @dancerslovelife @justab-eautifulmess

#mine #petrichor #atla #avatar the last airbender #atla fic #atla fanfic #zuko #prince zuko #zuko x oc #prince zuko x reader #zuko fanfic #avatar fic #zuko fluff #zuko fic #zuko x reader #the last airbender

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wardens-stew · 4 years ago

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The Bone Season - unpacking Paige’s card reading!

To pass the time as I obsess about the imminent release of The Mask Falling, I’ve been thinking about when Liss did a card reading for Paige in TBS - and Elspeth elaborated on it in TSR - and felt like going back to it to see what’s been revealed and what we might glean about what’s yet to come.

1 - Five of Cups (past)

CONFIRMED - Paige’s father mourning her mother

“You lost something when you were very small. There’s a man with auburn hair. It’s his cups that are spilled.” “My father,” I said. “Yes. You’re standing behind him, speaking to him. He doesn’t answer. He stares at a picture.”

2 - King of Wands (present)

CONFIRMED - Jaxon’s hold on Paige

“He controls you. Even now, you can’t escape his hold.” “Warden?” “I don’t think so. Still, he has power. His expectations of you are too high. You’re afraid of him.” Jaxon.

3 - The Devil (future); 4 - The Lovers (what to do)

LOW-KEY CONFIRMED - The Devil as the darkness within Paige; The Lovers as Paige and Warden

“This card represents a force of hopelessness, restriction, fear—but you’ve given into it yourself. There’s a shadow that the Devil represents, but I can’t see its face. Whatever power this person will have over you, you will be able to escape it. They’ll make you think you’re tied to them forever, but you won’t be. You’ll just think you are... The next card will tell you what to do when the time comes.”

I looked down at the fourth card. “The Lovers?” “Yes.” Her voice had dropped to a monotone. “I can’t see much. There’s tension between spirit and flesh. Too much.”

Elspeth and Paige unpack this in TSR:

Two naked figures were on either side of the pedestal, bound to it, and by extension, to each other, by a silver chain.

“The two figures in the Devil card closely resemble the couple in the Lovers card, which comes next. They could almost be Lovers... The Devil controls them. Manipulates them.”

The words left a fine sweat on my brow. Controls them. Manipulates them. The Devil could be Terebell. Both Warden and I were chained to her: Warden by his loyalty, me by my need for her money. And we were also bound to each other by a chain, albeit a chain of gold.

“Someone stands over the pair in the Lovers card, too, though there’s no chain.” Elspeth pointed to a winged figure above the man and woman. “I’m not certain what the figure represents in this instance, but... someone is always watching this couple.”

There’s a good deal of evidence that the Lovers refers to Warden, as Paige points out, but she still isn’t sure:

“As a Rephaite, Warden was the pivot between spirit and flesh. We had always felt watched, knowing the consequences of discovery. If he represented the path I should be taking, then by trying to distance myself from him, by telling him we had to part, I had gone astray; I had turned my back on the counsel of the cards.

And yet, he could so easily be the Devil himself... or a puppet-master in its service, keeping me chained to it, to Terebell. Was he meant to be my lover or my downfall?”

She remains ambivalent, but there’s that important moment towards the end, with Jaxon:

“You will understand that all of us are devils in the skins of men. You will become the monster that lives inside us all.”

I started away from him. This wasn't the first time that his words had sounded like a prediction. The Devil. Had it been me all along? Was it the devil in myself - the devil deep beneath my skin - that I was meant to resist?”

She doesn't really arrive at a conclusion, but I think this theory is pretty convincing! I’m not quite sure if it lines up with the idea of the Devil manipulating and controlling the Lovers, though - does it make sense that the dark instincts in Paige are manipulating her and Warden?? It would fit more easily if the Devil were a person rather than something abstract.

I also think there’s more to be said about Elspeth’s observation that “someone is always watching this couple.” Paige attributes this to her general feeling of being watched in her clandestine relationship with Warden, but Elspeth’s remark suggests that something more deliberate and concrete is going on. That’s quite unnerving - the possibility that someone is literally watching Paige and Warden. I think it may be part of the larger role that their intimacy is playing on the world stage, although they’re not yet aware of it.

5 - Death, Inverted (external influences)

NOT YET DETERMINED

“Death is a normal card for voyants. Usually it appears in the past or present positions. But here, inverted—I’m not sure.” Her eyes flickered beneath their lids. “This far ahead, my sight gets hazy. Things are vague. I know the world will change around you, and you’ll do everything in your power to resist it. Death itself will work in different ways. By delaying the change, you’ll prolong your own suffering.”

Ok, I think this is definitely alluding to the possible events of TMF and Book 5 and the furthering of the Prometheus and Pandora parallel. I did some digging about the divinatory associations of the card:

DEATH.—End, mortality, destruction, corruption; also, for a man, the loss of a benefactor; for a woman, many contrarieties; for a maid, failure of marriage projects. Reversed: Inertia, sleep, lethargy, petrifaction, somnambulism; hope destroyed.

The card, drawn in reverse, can be interpreted as stagnation and the inability to move or change.

In the Mythic Tarot deck, Death is depicted by Hades.

Shit is going to get real!! “Death itself will work in different ways” - This supports @growingstronglikeahighgardenrose‘s theory that Paige might end up going to the underworld in a Persephone/Eurydice parallel and someone will be forced to stay in the underworld for a period of time - likely Warden. The association with Hades also suggests that Warden will be involved, possibly put in some sort of slumber. I could definitely see Paige resisting this change and the ensuing separation from Warden.

6 - Eight of Swords (hopes and fears)

NOT YET DETERMINED

“The card showed a woman, bound in a circle of upturned swords. She wore a blindfold. Liss’s skin glowed with sweat. “I can see you. You’re afraid.” Her voice trembled. “I can see your face. You can’t move in any direction. You can stay in one place, trapped, or feel the pain of the swords.”

A little info on the eight of swords, thanks to Wikipedia:

The Querent is in a situation where they're afraid to move. If they move, they'll get cut. However, the ropes that bind them and the blindfold over their eyes are their own fears, keeping them immobile. Therefore, the longer they stay, the more they constrain and entrap themselves. Ever been in a situation where you're afraid to say anything, so afraid that you second guess yourself, end up saying nothing, tying yourself in knots? But speaking up is going to get you cut to ribbons? That's this card. The Querent must have the strength to endure the cuts or they will stay trapped. They must move, for the longer they let the situation continue, the worse it will get.

Ok this is pretty far off so it’s hard to make sense of it. But it seems that Paige is going to be trapped and needs to free herself, though she will suffer for it. I have the feeling that this situation will be fairly literal, especially if the Persephone & Pandora myth holds - Paige could be stuck in some weird state maybe in the netherworld or in a dreamwalking state from which she needs to escape. Not sure if the suffering refers to collateral damage - like Warden will be hurt if she tries to escape - or if she herself will be hurt or changed by freeing herself. It’s all pretty abstract and theoretical at this point.

7 - ?????

The big mystery! I have absolutely no clue how this series will end, and it’s pretty difficult to speculate. But it’s worth thinking about what kind of ending would make sense in terms of the mythology and the larger arc of this story. I’m really anxious about whether Warden and Paige and their relationship will make it through intact - this doesn’t really seem like the kind of series to end super duper happily like somehow everyone’s problems are solved and the world is utopian - but I also can’t see how an ending in which they were separated/dead/irreversibly damaged would be a satisfying one (pls Samantha Shannon just let them be happy!!!). This is mostly just me trying to convince myself that it’s not going to be some Allegiant-type shit - Samantha Shannon is obviously comfortable inflicting pain on her characters, but I doubt she’d do that kind of fuck-you ending where everyone is screwed. I have faith that it’ll be a satisfying and meaningful conclusion.

Random sidenote, super bizarre and probably meaningless, but Samantha Shannon once mentioned in an answer to a Tumblr ask that there was a pregnancy storyline in TBS when she initially planned it, but she figured Twilight already did the “immortal hybrid baby thing” and eventually decided she didn’t want Paige to have kids. Then she says, “I won’t rule out writing a fun ‘what if’ chapter once the series is over, though. I just wouldn’t make it canon.” SOOOOooo.... what I’m hearing is that Paige and Warden both make it through to the end of the series alive and in a position to have kids?????

#the bone season #the mask falling #Paige and warden #Samantha shannon #@say_shannon #fan theory #tarot

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takerfoxx · 3 years ago

Text

Jurassic Park 4: Doki Idol Live Festival!

magic5ball submitted:

Remember how you asked me about my idea for a Jurassic Park sequel? Well, here you go:

The two velociraptors stood outside a pastel colored town house in Hokkaido prefecture, Japan. If any passerbys thought that was weird, they certainly didn’t show it. Probably because the raptors were wearing fedoras and fake mustaches, so they looked like humans. Also they had guns. Very cool, very intimidating mobster guns. A tommy gun and a sawed-off shotgun, respectively.

You needed guns, to survive Shinzo Abe’s little empire of vice and socialized medical care.

“So this is the place, huh?” muttered the velociraptor carrying the sawed-off shotgun. His thick Brooklyn accent hung in the air like concrete. “Kinda… frillier than I was expecting.”

“It better be.” Replied his companion, who sounded like your racist conservative uncle trying to impersonate that one cool guy from ‘The Godfather’ (You know, the one with the mustache who was played by Robert de Niro). “We hadda kill a whole lotta people to get this hellhole.”

Sawed-off shotgun licked his non-existent lizard lips

“But hey. That airplane stewardess tasted mighty fine goin-“

“Oh, for f*ck’s sake, would ya stop thinkin’ with your stomach and help me with this f*ckin’ knob!” cried tommy gun, trying to work the doorknob best he could with his raptor claws, which, in all honesty, wasn’t much, because raptor claws are terrible at operating things meant for human fingers. Little did he know, the door was a ‘pull’, not a ‘push.

At least he didn’t have to wait long before someone unlocked the door from the other side: another velociraptor, this one a bit on the short side. And p!ssed. Very, very p!ssed. You could tell he was the cool one because he wore an eyepatch over one eye. An eyepatch with a Captain Underpants logo on it.

“Didn’t your parent’s ever teach you idiots about using the doorbell?! I was just about to enjoy lunch with my beautiful wife and you-!“

He paused, recognizing the two figures facing him.

“Well, well, well” Said tommy gun, cocking his weapon “If it isn’t SWEET JOHN HAMMOND’S BALLSACK WHAT THE F*CK AM I LOOKING AT?!”

For the cool raptor was dressed in a gothic Lolita maid outfit, complete with a bonnet and penny loafers. Under his arm he carried a human sized pillow depicting what appeared to be a blonde floozy with massive tits.

“Oh this? This is Mami Tomoe, my beautiful wife.”

“WHAT THE F*CK!?!?” Tommy gun pulled out a flask off orange Fanta from his butthole and drank the whole thing in one go. He did NOT have time for this homosexual weeaboo nonsense! Still, he and shotgun hadn’t left a mountain of corpses the exact height and width as Mt. Fuji behind them. Too many to go back to Isla Nublar empty handed. Er, clawed. Because they were dinosaurs. Who have claws.

Shotgun took a deep breath. “What the Boss means to say is, ‘May we take refuge in this fine establishment?’”

Cool raptor opened his mouth to reveal a pistol he’d hidden there. And by hidden I mean replaced his tongue with it.

“You know, for all crap you guys used to give me in the past, I oughta pump you full of lead right here and now. Buuutttt… the lady of the house is present, and I’m not in the mood to create more work on her end. So come on in! You’re just in time for lunch.”

Lest they attract unneeded attention, the three dinosaurs hopped inside.

. . .

Lunch was omurice boba tea with a bottle of teriyaki sauce on the side. It was just boba tea, but the boba had been replaced by omurice because F-Bomb hated the flavor of boba, which he likened to rabbit crap. The teriyaki sauce was teriyaki sauce.

It was the most racist thing shotgun had ever eaten.

“Well, now that you jerks have gotten a taste of my sloppy seconds, I suppose some introductions are in order. You’ve already met my lovely wife” Cool raptor gestured to the body pillow seated next to him “So that leaves you two. Mami, meet A-Hole and D-Bag. A-Hole’s got the tommy gun, D-Bag is ridin’ her sawed off shotgun, as always. They’re old… acquaintances of mine.”

“He.” Corrected D-Bag. “I’ve been using he/him pronouns six months now.”

“Well that’s an improvement. Now instead of bein’ the Boss’ side B!tch literally, you’re just his b!tch figuratively!”

“Well screw you too, F-Bomb!” laughed the boss. “An’ speakin’ of screwing, what’s with the fruity get up? You a prostitute now or something?”

“Even better! This might surprise you, but I’ve got legitimate work now. This here’s my uniform, my uniform for MILF TIDDIES!”

A-Hole chugged his entire bottle of teriyaki sauce in one go, lest his mind implode from the sheer stupidity of that sentence.

“The Hell’s a milf tiddie!?”

“Only the best freakin’ maid café in Hoikaido, hookers!”

He gestured to a wall, covered in hundreds of photos of cute floozies dressed like they were attending a vampire’s funeral. Among them was a photo of F-Bomb in his drag, serving a deep fried hot dog to some elderly Japanese dude.

“As you can see, yours truly is serving Japan’s national desert to none other than 57th Prime Minister of Japan Shinzo Abe!”

“Hold it up. Youse been hobnobbing it with politicians?!”

“I wish! You’re thinking of Shinzo Abe, 57th Prime Minister of Japan. This guy is his twin brother. Still pretty sweet though. We DID win a Grammy for that, after all.”

A-Holes eyes bulged out of his scaly raptor head.

“YOUSE WON A GRAMMY FOR THAT?!”

“Dang right! Milf Tiddies has won sixteen Grammys since I started working there!” He pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket. A very special piece of paper, if the six holes punched into it were any indication. “Did you know that if you win ten Grammys in a row, they give you a free orphan? That’s how the wife and I got our glorious daughter, Lil’ Nagisa!”

F-Bomb pulled a faded photo out of his wallet. A photo showing himself, his pillow wife, and a smaller body pillow of a ten-year-old moeblob wearing a Green Bay Packers cheesehead helmet.

“So youse couldn’t even conceive your own kid?” Inquired D-Bag sexily. He was munching his omurice slowly, so F-Bomb knew he was being serious.

“Are you implying I have sex with my own wife, you sick freak?! I’m a weeaboo, not some degenerate anime fanboy! Get it straight!” He instinctively cocked the pistol in his throat. It was awesome as hell.

In response, D-Bag pumped his shotgun. Loudly.

“Permission to put the sick freak out of his misery, Boss?”

“Firstly, don’t call me Boss when we’re not having anal sex. Second, no can do, my spicy lover. We need F-Bomb alive.”

F-Bomb heard all of this even though A-Hole whispered it, but he pretended not to make A-Hole feel clever.

D-Bag mumbled about how the Boss was lucky he was so mind blowing in the sack, otherwise he would have left the relationship long ago. The sack in this case being a really kinky sex dungeon. Like really kinky. So kinky even Donald Trump wouldn’t go within a mile of it. D-Bag had almost died of autoerotic asphyxiation more times than I’ve gone to the bathroom in my lifetime. That’s why he was the smartest dinosaur out of the three of them. Now where was I again?

Anyway, F-Bomb interrogated

“Alright guys, what’s the deal? I know folks who come to this socialized medical care infested hellhole, and they don’t come here just to eat omurice boba tea. You WANT me for something.”

He cocked his mouth-pistol again. Sparks flew all over the carpet, which was made of alpaca fur so it didn’t catch fire.

A-Hole scandalously kept his cool.

“It’s about Isla Nublar.”

The second those words left A-Hole’s lips, F-Bomb escorted his wife out of the kitchen, but leaned her against the kitchen door, because that’s what she would have wanted.

“Well what about it? I told ya guys, I’m done with that dump.”

“They’re puttin’ the screws on us, F-Bomb. Making us pay for eating those tourists back in the nineties.”

“And what makes you think I care? Like I said, I’m done with that place. I got a wife and kid now.”

“But F-Bomb, doesn’t the Park mean ANYTHING to ya!? What about the time we ate that park ranger that called you a girl? ‘Better than sex’ I recall you saying.”

“Nice try, but I’m not exactly in the mood to get misgendered again. Don’t you guys got any ideas that don’t involve me?”

“As a matter of fact, yours truly had this really spectacular one!”

D-Bag did a hand gesture wherein he constantly crossed his dinosaur claws across his throat rapidly in quick succession. A-Hole, being very smart, knew this meant he should continue, loudly enough so that everyone in the prefecture could hear.

“It was called ‘Trump Ballz’. We’d harvest Donald Trump’s testicles, see, and sell them to the highest bidder, so they could do whatever people do with lopped off testicles. I’m not one to judge. It was a terrific idea. I know because when I told my best friend Donald Trump about it, he said, ‘A-Hole, this is an incredible idea. Absolutely terrific! This is probably the best idea in America! You are very smart, very intelligent dinosaur! I oughta buy you a prostitute!’ Of course, we didn’t realize that Trump’s ballz don’t grow back when you lop them off. Did you know that by the way? Human testicles don’t grow back-“

F-Bomb cocked the pistol inside his throat gain, getting the Boss to shut up. This was probably the most heroic thing anyone had ever done in the history of the universe. He also asked a question:

“SO WHAT THE HECK DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ME?!”

A-Hole vomited a severed arm and a pamphlet onto the table.

“EVERYTHING, ya WEEB trash!”

The pamphlet was for something called the Doki Idol Live Fest- DILF, for short. F-Bomb was no stranger to the DILF, but they had parted ways years ago. Six, to be exact, when he had buried Nico Yazawa’s still screaming corpse by the side of the highway. And neither was he stranger to the prize.

It looked like a beer and soda drinking baseball cap, but only to complete idiots who didn’t know crap about the Idol Life.

And F-Bomb wasn’t one of those people, er dinosaurs.

“THE MCGUFFIN OF SIN?!”

“Dam* straight! And like it or not, youse the only one with enough idol know-how to help us win it! Thing’s worth, like, a zillion dollars.”

A zillion in this case was equivalent to half a million. Still, isn’t that impressive?

F-Bomb stuck his nose in his omurice and snorted, a common intimidation tactic among velociraptors. I know because I read it in the Scientific American.

“Sorry, guys, but even with that on the line, no can do. I’m DONE with the Idol Life, any I’m not letting you filthy casuals drag me back in.” He cocked the pistol in his throat. “NOW SCRAM!”

A-Hole and D-Bag jumped out a window, so they could get the jump on a feral dog humping its’ owner. Nobody realized they were dinosaurs because of their fake mustaches, so it looked like a pair of mobsters were eating a puppy.

When they were gone, F-Bomb pranced to the bathroom, which was filled with plush alpacas he had collected over the years. So many, in fact, the bathroom did not meet OSHA compliance. Which was why F-Bomb had made it an independent nation state, only to realize that OSHA didn’t apply to him anyway, since he lived in Japan.

He had felt really stupid after that, but at least he got his own country out of it.

Anyway, he vomited sixteen liters of blood into the sink, for F-Bomb had a secret: he was dying. Back when he was a fetus in an egg in a lab on some island in the Caribean, he’d become addicted to the illegal street drug known as WEEB, and frequent use had poisoned his lungs. The doctors had given him Socialized Medical Care and four more years to live. The WEEB had taken eighty years off his life. Socialized Medical Care had borrowed his lawnmower and never given it back.

But F-Bomb also had a dream: he and his wife were going to build their own maid café, and it would be even better than MILF Tiddies. He’d already picked a title: DILF Tiddies, and it was going to be the greatest food-selling establishment in the history of Japan. Omurice boba tea was going to go global. But he’d never get the funds on time, not on his meager salary. Unless…

His beautiful wife greeted him as he exited the bathroom.

“Get a pen and some razor blades, sweetgums. I’ve got a letter to send.”

. . .

The message arrived in the neck of a mailman’s severed head. This is the traditional way velociraptors send letters to each other. I read it in a book.

D-Bag didn’t see the letter, but the look on A-Hole’s face told him everything.

“What’d I tell ya, D-Bag? Like I always say, when you’re dino you’re dino all the way, till youse dead in the ground or youse come out as gay!”

“Yeah, we really need to update those lyrics.”

End Chapter 1

...I cannot for the life of me decide if this is the greatest thing I've ever seen or the worst, but it at the very least had me staring speechless at my computer screen for a long time.

#submission #jurassic park #puella magi madoka magica #pmmm #well then

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im-not-looking-for-forgiveness · 5 years ago

Note

Hey! I'm so happy that you write for Arthur! Do you think you could make a reader who is 10 years younger than him and Arthur is insecure, especially since people tease him about it, saying the reader is a kid compared to him. But she saves him and shows impressive skills and how much they love each other? Love you work, dear!

Unlikely Pair - Arthur Shelby x Reader

TW: Graphic depictions of violence and death

Thank you for the request!!! Enjoy!

Taglist: @hxnky-cat @imagine-richards

*****

"You're sort of an unlikely pair, aren't you?" Ada joked, nudging your arm.

"What do you mean?" you questioned, trying to get her to admit what you already knew she would say.

"Well, it's just.. you know? You're a bit young for him." she shrugged helplessly.

You sighed, "Arthur loves me, and I love him. He's only 10 years older than me. It's not that large of a gap. I'm getting tired of repeating myself here."

"Alright, alright, I'm sorry. We just get defensive of him ever since Linda was around." she said, giving you an apologetic smile.

"I get it. I'm just tired of being compared to her. I'm not going to hurt him, Ada." you promised. You could understand her being protective of her brother. It was just the merciless teasing from Tommy and Michael that got on your nerves.

---

"Come on, Arthur, it's just one family dinner. How bad can it be?" you told your boyfriend, trying to console him. He was the hothead of the Peaky Blinders, but with you he was as docile as a sleepy cat.

"Nah, I don't wanna go. They'll just make fun of us. I don't care if it's a family meeting." he whined, burying his face into your shoulder as he hugged you. His much larger frame was so comforting to be held against.

"I know, love, but without you there, they'll just go behind your back on decisions that you should be a part of." you told him, running your fingers through his hair. It was getting long lately.

"You're right." he straightened up, and took your hand. He looked smug, and it made your heart clench. This strong and confident side of your boyfriend never ceased to amaze you.

You joked and gave his hand a kiss, "I know."

"You're coming with me." he decided.

You gasped, "Arthur! I don't think I'm allowed to."

He pressed his forehead to yours, "I don't care. You're my family, which means you're coming with."

"I love you, Arthur Shelby." was all you managed to reply, overwhelmed with how strongly he cared for you.

A short while later, you and Arthur had arrived at Tommy's house. Thomas and Lizzie were the hosts, and you were trying desperately to stay optimistic. They all thought of you as a child, despite you being just slightly younger than Michael. Their endless taunting was infuriating. If you got annoyed, they used it against you. If you acted un-bothered, they didn't let up. There was seemingly no winning. You'd only been together with all of them twice, and both times had ended quite badly. The only one of the Shelby's who liked you at all (besides Arthur) was Ada, and she wasn't going tonight.

"Good evening, brother!" Arthur announced joyfully when the pair of you happened upon Tommy and Lizzie in the den.

Lizzie's gaze caught yours like a snare, "Oh, good, we're on babysitting duty again."

'Fuck you!' you thought bitterly, her words immediately ruining what hope you had for tonight.

"Oh, not this again!" Arthur huffed, hand tightening in yours. You held back twice as hard, knowing that he was about to flee.

"Why? Are Charlie and Ruby joining us?" you bit back.

"No, they're at Ada's." Tommy responded coolly, standing. You could never tell what he was feeling, but you hoped you were right in thinking he seemed annoyed with Lizzie's comment.

"Good." you snapped, before letting Arthur pull you from the room like a rabid dog on a lead.

"I knew we shouldn't have come." Arthur grumbled once out of earshot.

"No! We're staying. We're going to prove them wrong, even if we have to shove it down their throats." you argued, stopping him in the hall.

"Alright, fine. I'm going to go find the cook. I want this dinner over as soon as possible." he sighed, before leaning down to give you a quick kiss.

"Good luck. This place is a damn maze." you tried to lighten the mood. You gave him another, deeper kiss before letting him go.

Alone now, you went to find someone else to talk to. Michael hopefully would be kinder to you, seeing as he was closest to your age. However, his mother Polly was just like the Shelbys. If he wasn't with her, you'd have a chance for normal conversation. If she was there, you'd go find Arthur.

As you wandered down halls and through doorways, you had a vague feeling that someone was watching you. You kept reminding yourself that it was just because you were on edge, but you couldn't get that feeling to dissipate. It was starting to feel quite alarming. So much so, that you turned around and began walking swiftly towards where you thought the kitchen to be.

Arthur didn't want you to be defenseless, and so he had bought you a small pistol. Ever so slowly, you dipped your fingers into your purse to touch it. The cool metal was a relief to your fingers, especially as you saw the closet door across from you open slightly.

"Who's there? This isn't fucking funny." you called, realizing it must be someone playing with you. You knew they didn't like you, but damn!

"I'm going to shoot if you don't come out this instant!" you called out once more. You pulled the pistol from your purse and primed it. You were through with being teased.

You heard a muffled groan, and instantly all thoughts of a prank flew out of your head. That sounded like Michael, and it was definitely a noise of pain. Oh god.

Dashing forward, you flung open the door. As you suspected, Michael was sitting on the floor with his wrists and ankles bound. He had cloth shoved in his mouth and his head was bleeding quite badly, but he was awake. Polly was next to him and looked mostly unharmed, but was unconscious. Then, there was a man you'd never seen before. He was definitely dead, and had what looked like a long needle sticking out of his eye. You diverted your gaze quickly before you could really focus on it. It seemed as if though they were attacked, and then shoved into here.

"Michael, what happened?" you got out, dropping to the ground. You pulled off your shawl and pressed it to his head before taking the cloth out of his mouth. Then, your fingers flew to the knots in the rope. Within seconds, you had him free.

Shakily, he took your shawl from your hand to hold it on himself. In the exchange, you were relieved to see that the head wound was superficial. It was just bleeding profusely. He explained, "Four men. Now three. I don't know if there's more. They kept asking where Arthur was, but heard you coming and ran toward the kitchen."

"Fuck! Are you alright here?" you questioned, heart jumping into your throat. Arthur!

"Where's Arthur?" he asked, trying to get Polly out in the open with his free hand.

"The kitchen!" you told him, on the verge of abandoning him.

"Fuck, go! We'll be fine now." Michael assured you.

You took off towards the kitchen, too panicked to cry or be upset. All you could focus on was getting to Arthur. You knew he was more than capable of defending himself, but even he could lose to three men! Possibly more!

When you finally found the kitchen, you nearly collapsed on the spot. There was blood everywhere, with seemingly half of it on Arthur. A mangled body was on the floor with a mess where the man's face was supposed to be. The other two that Michael had warned about were in the process of killing your boyfriend. One had a rope wrapped around his neck, while the other was restraining his arms.

Remembering there was a gun in your hands, you took aim and fired. The kick wrenched your arm back and disoriented you. You hadn't expected it to be so strong!

"Hey!" one of the men shouted as his partner fell to the ground. You'd somehow nailed the man holding Arthur's arms in the back of the head. It had to have been sheer luck, because you'd only ever shot at bottles before. What wasn't lucky however, was watching blood and viscera spray across the once pristine kitchen. You had no time to react because there was still another threat.

"Leave him alone!" you screamed and fired at the second man. More prepared for the kick this time, you nailed him three times in the chest. His body looked wrong as it crumpled to the kitchen floor, spilling more blood across the white tiles.

You then ran to Arthur, and wrenched the noose open enough for him to breathe. A quick examination told you that nearly all the blood on his person belonged to the already dead man on the ground somewhere behind you.

"Are you okay?" you demanded, cupping his face in your hands.

"Yeah, I am now. Damn Italians!" he rasped out, grasping for you.

Tommy burst into the room, gun blazing. He looked around for a few seconds before seeming to realize what happened. He lowered his gun and came to your side.

"Arthur, are you alright?" he questioned, concerned.

"I am, thanks to Y/N. She saved my life." Arthur answered, not once letting you go.

"You did this? These were some of Changretta's men." Tommy asked you, gesturing to one of the bodies. You hadn't been around during the dealings with the Italian mafia, but you'd heard enough to know how serious it was.

"They were strangling Arthur to death." was all you could manage to say. You'd just killed two men. What would your life be like after this?

"I'm impressed. And thankful. I owe you a debt for saving my brother's life, and an apology for doubting your affection for him." Tommy admitted honestly.

You helped Arthur stand, "You don't owe me anything, Tommy. Just don't make fun of us anymore, and we'll call it good."

Tommy stared for a moment before speaking, "Alright. Let's get you both a drink."

---

"Polly is resting, and Michael is getting his head stitched up by one of the maids." Tommy updated you as he passed around drinks to the rest of the family.

"Who were they?" Lizzie asked, lighting a cigarette.

Tommy explained, "Italians. Changretta's old crew. I believe they were working alone, since as we all know, Luca Changretta is no longer a threat. Y/N here made sure they wouldn't be either. She killed two out of the four men who invaded my home in order to save Arthur's life."

"The kid's got some nerve." Lizzie said, but with no malice in her voice. She raised her glass to you, and the rest of the room followed suit.

"She's shown us that she and Arthur are serious. Anyone who doubts that now can take it up with me. She saved my brother's life today." Thomas explained further, before knocking back the rest of his drink.

"To Y/N." Arthur announced, voice still raspy.

"To Y/N."

#arthur shelby #arthur shelby x reader #tommy shelby #thomas shelby #peaky blinders #peaky blinder fanfic #peaky blinder imagine #paul anderson #cillian murphy #request #imagine

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