#it was easy to make and lasted a long time
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Pairing: lawyer!Jaehyun x divorcĂŠe!reader
Genre: age gap, drama, romance, smut
Word Count: 24k
Summary: Jaehyun has a ruthless, cruel and not so legal way of getting his clients everything they want out of their divorce. After all, to do the job right, a lawyer like him is not supposed to believe something like 'love' exists in the first place. That is until he meets his next client who also has a not so legal way of creeping right into his heart and make him question all his morals.
A/N: Man, I miss Jaehyun :( D-541
âI want to divorce my husband.â
Jaehyun hadnât spared you, the young woman who had been following him since the lobby, a single glance, purposefully ignoring every word you were trying to direct at him as he walked hurriedly and steadily to the elevators.Â
He was already running late that morning thanks to a fight with the parking attendant since apparently, his permission for the parkade had run out last night. And now, an annoying woman blocking the elevator doors after he had gotten in and hindering Jaehyun from reaching his officeâs floor was a bit of a stretch at this ungodly hour. Eventually, he couldnât ignore your existence anymore.Â
âMove,â he demanded, annoyed.
âI wonât,â you objected.
Pressing the âcloseâ-button over and over again, Jaehyun rolled his eyes at your perseverance as not even the heavy doors hitting your arms could chase you away. He stared at you, observing the persistence mirrored in your eyes as you pushed the doors aside again. He silently gave you credit for that.
âI want to divorce my husband,â you said again. âAnd I need you to successfully do so!â
Jaehyun let his eyes wander as you had piqued his interest ultimately. Your stubborn spirit reminded him a little bit of himself. But only a little bit. He examined you thoroughly. You were dressed elegantly in a pencil skirt, blouse and high heels. No wrinkles in your clothes, hair tidily pulled out of your face, not a strand out of order. You dressed like the average woman approaching him for his help: trophy wives in their thirties up to fifties, trapped in a marriage that was falling apart for always one and the same reason,
the lack of love.
In these kinds of marriages, mutual love rarely existed anymore. It was the same pattern again and again: The woman went blindly and head over heels in love into the marriage and throughout time, got frustrated with their lives as their marriage turned out entirely different from what they had imagined. The husband was almost never at home, business was always more important, and rarely did a case not involve cheating.Â
A person who had once been a naive woman in love had usually changed into a vengeful wife who wanted to take her husband to the cleaners by the time they consulted Jaehyunâs law firm. After all, they didnât believe in love anymore, and that was why his job was so easy, and even a little bit of fun.
But there was one difference that made you stand out significantly from all of his past clients, Jaehyun silently remarked to himself as his gaze stopped on your face: You were young. So, so young.
âDivorce your husband?â he repeated your words. âArenât you too young to be married for long enough yet?â
Your expression darkened, but he took it as a challenge. It wouldnât be the first time he clashed with a potential client. As a matter of fact, it wouldnât be a successful case for him if his client wouldnât start hating him at some point - and then preaching him to the heavens when he got them all they had asked for in the process, and more.
âDo you want this case or not?â you retorted. âI promise, you wonât regret it.â
Jaehyun raised a brow. Straightforward and witty. He hadnât expected that from an early twenty-something. Perhaps, he should pay weight to your words, the fact that he wouldnât regret it. Judging by your age alone, there was surely more to the story, and he was curious to get under the surface of it all.
Jaehyun removed his hand from the âcloseâ-button while simultaneously a moment of relief flashed through his face - along with a grin.Â
The door stayed open as he asked, âHow long have you been married for?â
âTwo and a half years.â
That was nothing.
âIs there a prenup?â
âYes.â
As always.
âWhatâs your husbandâs name?â
You hesitated.
In a lot of cases, Jaehyun knew his clientâs spouses just by their name. Wives of CEOs, chairmen, actors, doctors, politicians, investors ⌠they all came to him.
âKang Seungmin.â
Jaehyun almost visibly took in an exasperated breather.
âKang Seungmin who is related to the Aewha Group?â
You nodded. âHis older brother is the CEO.â
Pause.
âBe here tomorrow, 8am.â
____
You remembered the day you got married like it was yesterday.Â
You werenât wearing your dream wedding dress.Â
Your dress was a designer that your husbandâs mother had picked out. It had been too voluminous, too heavy, and it hadnât suited your style at all. Your makeup had made it hard for you to recognize yourself and they had put too many extensions in your hair. But that was what they had wanted you to look like - and you had complied.
It wasnât your dream wedding venue.Â
It had taken place at the Shilla Hotel and you hadnât had any say in the decoration, it was all white and beige when you had wanted sprinkles of purple, your favorite color. The cake was vanilla flavored when you had wanted blueberry, and the program had involved a choir, not a band. But that was what they had wanted the reception to be like - and you had complied.
Your friends and family werenât there.Â
You hadnât known a single person at the wedding except for your future husbandâs family. When you had been sitting there, feeling lonely and left out, there was no one you could have turned to, no familiar and friendly face. Your guests were all only business partners and your new familyâs friends - and you had complied.
You had never felt so lonely in your life like on the day that was supposed to be the happiest day of your life. But you had complied with everything, because you had been so, so in love.
And what was left of that now?
âSo, Mrs. Kang,â Mr. Jeong started the next morning after you had appeared in front of his office at 8am sharp. âAfter you have filled out all the information about you and your husband, I just want to know one thingâŚâ
âWhich isâŚ?â
You hoped he didnât notice how you kept your shaking legs in place with your palms pressing on top of your thighs. You knew exactly what was coming and you were prepared for that, but it always made you nervous, regardless of how many times someone would bring this topic up. And it happened almost every time.
âWhat is it that youâre after?â
You were confused. That wasnât what you had expected. âPardon me?â
The lawyer took off his glasses with which he had previously read through your information carefully and put them next to him on the desk. Then, he propped his elbows against the table and leaned in to you. It was very intimidating as if he wanted to look straight into your soul to detect every lie that could possibly pass your lips.
But there was nothing for you to lie about.
âWhat do you want out of this marriage, Mrs. Kang?â he carefully elaborated. âMoney? The house? Company shares? I can get you everything.â
âIn all honesty, Mr. Jeong,â you admitted, âI donât want any of his money, belongings, mansions and company shares. I just want to get out of this marriage and never be involved with this family again. Thatâs all I want.â
He let out a long sigh and closed the file with your information.
âAre you⌠done?â you asked.
âYes. With you.â
âExcuse me?â
âYou donât want anything? No money, no mansions, no company shares? Then, where is the thrill? What do you need me for?â The lawyer leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms behind his head. âI think itâs better for you to look for another lawyer.â
âHis material possessions were not the reason I was trying to find consultation with you.â You stayed calm and didnât want to get irritated by his change in demeanor. âI grew up wealthy already, Mr. Jeong. Iâm not dependent on his money. When I turned eighteen, I inherited the trust fund my parents had opened up for me the day I was born. Itâs enough to live comfortably until⌠well, the end of my days.â
âSo, you are two wealthy people who have married and you donât want to take anything from him just out of spite. According to the law, the trust fund still rightfully belongs to you as it had been handed over to you prior to your marriage.â If he was confused by your statement, then he didnât let it slip. âSo, what is it that makes divorcing him so difficult then, Mrs. Kang? What is it that youâre after, exactly? I know there is something after all.â
âItâs not what Iâm after. Itâs what he is after.â You reached down to your bag, pulling out a file that you then attentively placed on the lawyerâs desk. âHere is a copy of my prenup. Please open page 35. I highlighted the most important parts.â
He put back on his glasses and opened the documents at the respective page. You visibly saw his brows furrow at the paragraph that you had pointed out.
âSo, itâs the other way around. In case of a divorce, itâs not him who will lose everything,â the lawyer concluded. âBut you will lose everything, and it will be all transcribed to him. Your trust fund money, your possessions, everything from before your marriage evenâŚâ He stilled. âJust⌠everything.â
âExactly.â
âIâm sorry Mrs. Kang, butâŚâ He looked at you in utter disbelief. And the worst thing was that you couldnât even blame him. You were very ashamed of yourself, too. âHow could you have even signed this in the first place? I have never seen a prenup like this in my entire career. But then again, I've only been practicing in my own law firm for a short few yearsâŚ.â
He was straightforward with a certain sharpness lying on his tongue that tended to take a derogatory way at times. This lawyer had surely seen so much already, but according to his words, this must just be an entire new level of naiveness he hadnât encountered ever before.
âI was young and in love.âÂ
There was certainly no other explanation you wanted to give him yet, even though he was looking at you expectantly, waiting for you to elaborate the decision and specifically the situation you had been in when signing this agreement. But again, you had to disappoint him. You would have still signed the papers if the circumstances had been different, you were certain of that. Why would it matter if you left out an additional reason?
The lawyer let out a long sigh. It was like you could hear his thoughts in your own mind: Such a naive, stupid girl, getting married so young and signing away all her rights just to be with a powerful man forever, out of blinded love. You endured it like so many other things in your life.
âLove.â He snorted, confirming your thoughts, and closed the marriage contract with a thud. âItâs absolutely good for nothing. You clients prove it to me every time.â
You tilted your head. âJust because Iâm getting divorced doesnât mean I donât believe in love anymore, Mr. Jeong. Those are two very different things.â
âIâm aware of the fact that my clients almost all get married out of love like you,â he corrected himself strictly and made his standpoint clear to you. âNow, wanting a divorce from the person who you once had such strong feelings for⌠how can you still believe in something that has failed you so thoroughly?â
âBut love hasnât failed me,â you objected. âItâs the person who failed me. And just because that certain man has let me down, doesnât mean someone else will, too. There is not only one person in the world to love. Iâm not going to say I hate all men and will never meet someone I can open myself up to again, Mr. Jeong. I suppose thatâs what the majority of people who come here say to you, am I right? But I wonât. There are people in their fifties finding love all over again, so if I have to wait another thirty years just to experience the same, I will willingly do so. I will never give up hope, I wonât let spite devour me whole. I will wait for my time to come.â
He had fallen into silence and his gaze was impenetrable while you kept talking and eventually came to an end. The Lawyer was either baffled by your naivete once again, or you had sincerely taken him by surprise and the usually so witty man for once, since your meeting, didnât know what to reply.
âYouâre so full of positivity, Mrs. Kang, it almost makes me feel sick. Where is your anger, your vengefulness?â he eventually responded, and you felt a wave of disappointment wash over you. âBut since you donât seem to have my clientsâ usual bitterness and grimness to drive by, we will rely on your insolent positivity to win this case. Or stupidness, depending on how you view your case.â
You had never been so subtly attacked and complimented at the same time, but since it was coming from the ruthless attorney himself, you put more weight on the latter. âWhatever works for me, I guess.â
He folded his forearms on the table and leaned forward, closer to you, narrowing his eyes before he almost whispered, âBut there is one thing I always demand from my clients to win a case and my trust eventually. Without this certain thing, you will lose both.â
You inhaled deeply in expectation. âAnd that isâŚ?â
âThe entire truth.â The response was so simple, but you sensed there was more depth in it. âIf I ask you something, youâre going to tell me the truth. You cannot conceal or hide anything. There cannot be a detail that you consider too irrelevant or something that you consider too embarrassing to tell me. You will tell me everything I ask for and not ask for, are we clear?â
At this moment, you felt like he was staring right into your soul, marking this a make it or break it point for your business relationship. If you lied, would he be able to detect right away? Or was he bluffing and only wanted to intimidate you? Had he already sensed that you had left out an important aspect in your marriage?
âWe are very much clear.â
A grin flashed across his face, making you frown. âVery well. Then I need you to do the exact opposite.âÂ
âThe opposite? Then⌠I should lie?â
âExactly. And please donât hit me with the âI cannot lie, Iâm a sincere person, I cannot hurt someoneâ bullshit. We donât do that here. In order to win what you want, you have to play dirty. Be honest with me, but when I need you to lie and do reprehensible things, you have to comply. Do you think you can do this, little miss sunshine? Or are we way too sincere and positive for that?â
âIâm sorry, if you mean playing dirty do yo-â
âCan you do that?â he interrupted you. âThis is the only thing I need to know. Can you play dirty when I need you to?â
This shouldnât surprise you. Deep down, you had always known what kind of lawyer he was. Everyone knew. That was why you had eventually seeked out for him. You couldnât win this case on your own or with any lawyer, it had to be him. You had tried so hard and had approached not only attorneys in this city, but all over the country - to no avail.
This lawyer was your last resort, and never had you thought you would go this far. But if you had to lie and play dirty if asked to break free from your golden cage, then that was what you were going to do.
If you had to play dirty to see your family again, then you would do so.
You gulped, but still brought out, âI can do that.â
Even though it came reluctantly, he still believed you and said with a satisfied smile, âVery well, maâam.â
_____
âSo, this is the golden cage that youâre always referring to.â Your lawyer stood in the lobby, inspecting the entrance location. âInteresting.â
It was an odd sight for you - to have your divorce lawyer, who was technically still a stranger even after meeting a few times in his firm, in the home that you were sharing with your husband. But then again, in these two and a half years here together, your house had always been filled with only strangers and people you werenât fond of, so this wasnât quite a new experience.
Your home was a multistory penthouse in a high rise building in one the cityâs wealthiest neighborhood, because another quarter was a degradation for your husbandâs familyâs status. It was all too modernly and minimalistically designed with no touch of personal memories in the form of pictures or belongings. The furniture was too clean, the art too abstract, the rooms too empty. It had always felt more like a museum rather than a home for you - grand, impressive and utterly overwhelming.
You had spent days endlessly wandering between the floors and looking out of the gigantic window across the river out of which one side of the penthouse was entirely crafted, spanning over two levels. This was the only thing you liked about your home as it was easier to dream yourself away while watching the sunset. Many times, you had imagined living on the other side of the river, too. Where it wasnât all filled with stuck up millionaires, people too focused on changing their appearances and overall shallowness.
You had tried so hard to connect with this life, but even though you had grown up wealthily on this side of the river as well, there was one thing you were missing but had been showered with all throughout your childhood right until your marriage: love, comfort, warmth.
âI wonder how much this is?â
Your lawyer had picked up an ornate porcelain vase from the side table and threw it into the air. Your heart nearly stopped as you watched the decor flying off and gasped. Reaching out your hands, you tried to catch the vase yourself, but a moment later, it was landing safely in your lawyerâs hands again, who then turned to you, grinning.
âI guess it's very expensive,â he concluded.
You yanked the vase out of his hands and returned it to where it belonged. âDonât do that again! This decor is finely picked out by my in-laws, and if there is only one vase slightly out of arrangement or one single statue looking in the wrong direction when they come over - which is almost every day - hell will break loose.â
He threw his head back and laughed. âThatâs exactly what I imagined after what you told me about them. How can someone endure living here anyway?â
âIâm tougher than you think, Mr. Jeong.â
âHm.â His eyes then fell on your appearance and scanned you up and down. âAt first glance, you look like you totally belong here with your pantsuit and perfectly styled hair.â
âJust because I look like I belong here, doesnât mean I do, Mr. Jeong.â
âWise words for someone so young who doesnât always make wise decisions, maâam.â
You exhaled deeply. âCan we get over this as quickly as possible? You came here for a reason, right? Letâs get seated on the living room and-â
âSeats wonât be necessary,â he waved off. âYou have to show me around your home.â
âAnd why would I have to do that?â
âYour husband is overseas on a business trip youâve said, and I have to get a picture of the physical possessions, with how much money weâre dealing with apart from bank accounts, shares and all that stuff.â
âI see, that makes sense. But nothing here belongs to me, though.â
âThatâs even better.â He turned around. âWhich room is that?â
âThe living room.â
âGreat. Letâs start there.â Your lawyer entered the area as though he knew the place by heart while questioning, âYou mentioned your in-laws visit here every day, Mrs. Kang?â
âAlmost,â you partially affirmed while following him. âI guess they canât let go of their son⌠and their need to control me.â
âWhat would they need to control about you? Are you somehow involved in their business?â
Your lawyer looked around in the gigantic living room that faced the panorama window reaching from the ground to the ceiling on the second floor. The sofa was placed in the middle of the area, right in a pit that was accessible by two steps built into the ground, encircling a marble coffee table probably worth a single-family house. Right next to it was a billiard table, most likely valuable just as much. This was going to be a very long evening, considering the inventory and the prices.
âIâm not involved in their business, Mr. Jeong.â You paused for a short while, invisible struggling with something inwardly. But you came to the conclusion that if you couldnât tell your attorney, who then? âIn fact, Iâm secretly building my own one.â
âOh?â He raised a brow. âWhich kind of business?â
You remained silent for a few moments until he shifted to you and looked at you with inquiring eyes. âA bridal shop.â
You had already prepared a few witty responses, because whenever you told people about your business idea, they started laughing at you. Especially your in-laws. They had laughed at you so hard and shrugged your idea off immediately that you had never brought it up to them ever again. And your husband? He hadnât even acknowledged it. You were not allowed to work in this marriage anyway.
That was why you almost desperately needed to win this case and all your money back - to fulfill your dream and reunite with your family. You could do that. That was how much you believed in yourself. Just nobody else ever did.
âSo you like wedding dresses, maâam?â your lawyer asked almost in passing, but there was no mocking undertone in his voice. âSomehow very ironic for someone whoâs filing for divorce, donât you think?â
âItâs my passion, Mr. Jeong.â
âHow come?â
âI told you I will always have hope and I will always believe in love. Thatâs what I want to pass on as a message to someone like me. Someone who has found the love of their life, no matter for the first, second or third time, someone full of hope and brightness. Just because you havenât experienced it yet or because one love has ended, doesnât mean youâll never experience this special kind of connection ever. It makes me happy to be part of something so significant. It keeps me going, it keeps me⌠hopeful, you know.â
âSo you want to be part of other peopleâs special day to keep the thought alive that one day, you will still find the love of your life?âÂ
You clicked your tongue over the fact that everything coming out of his mouth sounded so⌠negative. âIf you want to put it like this⌠I rather see it as an opportunity to share your happiness with equal minded people.â
âWhy wedding dresses and not flowers then? Isnât it more fulfilling to bring joy to peopleâs everyday life with flowers they give someone else most of the time?â
âYouâre right, Mr. Jeong.â You smiled as you did not disagree with each other on this topic. âBut my mother is a fashion designer and my father is an art dealer, so thatâs the natural trajectory of my life. I love fashion, even if it doesnât look like it. But there is only very little you can experiment with style-wise when all eyes are on you and you have to keep up a certain reputation according to your in-laws. I hide a lot of pent-up creativity not many people know of.â
âOh, who would have guessed youâre not always all pantsuits and pencil skirts, Mrs. Kang.â He shrugged. âSo you truly believe in it?â
âIn what?â
âIn love that lasts a lifetime.â
âAs I said, Mr. Jeong⌠if we cease to believe in love⌠what is there to live for?â
"Wealth. Popularity. Freedom. Fun.â He snickered, but not in a way in which he made fun of you. He was more impressed by his own funny answer.
âBut you have no one to share this with. Doesnât your happiness then only last for so long?â
âOh, I do have people to share this all with. Just because finding love is not my priority doesnât mean I donât enjoy the company of beautiful women.â
You let out a deep sigh, but he shrugged your reaction off. Despite that, you had ended the topic on a good note, because for the very first time ever, you were allowed to talk about your passion without getting cut off immediately.
By that time, you had already arrived at the kitchen. It was an impressively wide, open room made of expensive white marble which appeared unused for ages as it was spotless and shiny. As a matter of fact, just as it appeared, it was never used by anyone in this family - that much was true. This kitchen functioned only as a showroom when the family had guests over to lay out the appetizers and the buffet.
âSo you have people who cook for you?â your lawyer concluded.
âItâs a personal cook that has gotten hired, yes.â
He shook his head in disbelief. âMust be nice being rich, having people cook and clean for you every day.â
âTrust me, Mr. Jeong,â you opposed, âitâs not all that.â
You both then continued on to the second floor, and you could see him turning more and more impressed with the fact how your house was furnished. Not only the first floor was luxurious, but every other room as well. If there was something touching the ground or the walls, one could be sure that its worth came at least close to a small car, from furniture to decoration.
âDo you have to go in there?â you pressed through gritted teeth, and your lawyer rolled his eyes as you both stood in front of the closed master bedroom. âItâs a private area and there is not much inside.â
âUnless you have some secret toys lying out in the open, there is nothing to be ashamed of, we all know whatâs going on in bedrooms, donât we, Mrs. Kang?â
He grinned, unaware of the fact that there hadnât been something going on in this bedroom for at least a year already. You also suppressed a gasp about his unhinged comment that was not very gentleman-like. But you also werenât surprised your divorce lawyer, who always told you to play dirty, would leave dirty comments as well. You would just ignore them like the lady you got trained to represent.
âI guess youâre not sharing the bedroom anymore?â your lawyer asked as he wandered around in your private chamber after having opened the space.
âWhat has this got anything to do with my divorce?â you wanted to know, slightly enraged.
âA lot. If you can confirm that you havenât shared a bed in quite a time, itâs easier to believe that your marriage has been in the shambles for so long and not a decision simply made overnight.â
âDivorce is never a decision simply made overnight, Mr. Jeong,â you clarified, but he corrected you instantly,Â
âI didnât mean it that way, Mrs. Kang. You will wonder how many clients come to me directly the day after they caught their partner cheating and change their minds to return to them a few days later. I want to know how serious you are and that itâs not a decision made on an impulse.â
âI donât love my husband anymore, Mr. Jeong. Isnât my tone sincere enough, my expression when I talk about my failed marriage? The fact I go through these lengths at my age?â Your voice got louder and louder, but he didnât interfere. âBut if you need to know about that part of my life too, then yes, I can confirm that my husband and I havenât shared this bed for a little over a year already as heâs sleeping in his office.â
âRelax, okay?â he comforted you as you had ended your speech. âI was only asking.â
You dropped your head, suddenly ashamed of your slight blow up. âIâm sorry. Thatâs not⌠Iâm usually not like this.â
âDonât worry about it. Itâs normal to feel all these emotions going through a divorce. Sometimes, you need a ventil. It wonât be the last time that you talk to me like that, so let it all out. Youâll be surprised how much it helps.â
He was right, you thought to yourself, feeling a little bit lighter around your chest. But to your disadvantage, you bathed in that moment for a second too long and missed your lawyer opening another door in your bedroom of which he had probably assumed was your walk-in-closet.
âNo, don-â
You stretched out your hand and wanted to reach him, but you werenât fast enough and could only watch the door swing open, revealing a small room next to the bedroom that was certainly too spacious to only be a closet.
Instead, what he found in the room was a crib by the window where dim light was making its way through half-closed curtains. A light shade of yellow had been chosen for the tapestry, matching the beige carpet while the remaining furniture such as the changing unit and the crib itself were white. A few pictures on the walls added a playful undertone to the room, but that was it.
âI was only allowed to choose the pictures,â you explained recently as you slowly approached him. âThey are sunflowers in different shapes. You know what sunflowers stand for?â You smiled meekly. âThey stand for happiness and joy. This room should have brought me happiness and joy, but instead, it gave me years of sadness.â
He didnât ask. Perhaps, he could figure it out himself as you had neither mentioned nor brought a child to your appointments with him. If not, then he sensed it wasnât the right time to push the topic just yet.
âLetâs go,â your lawyer eventually exclaimed and closed the door behind him. âLetâs make your living room a bit messy when I unpack my laptop and we note down the cost of every item in here. Thatâs gonna be fun!â
He sometimes came off as rude and uncouth, but he knew when to stop talking.
_____
âWhatâs that?â You unpacked the plastic bag in front of you and pulled out a black long sleeve, black pants, black sneakers and a black beanie as you unsuccessfully attempted to crack a joke, âWere black clothes on sale today?â
âThose are your clothes for tonight.â
âIf you haven't noticed yet, Mr. JeongâŚâ You looked down on yourself. âMy style is classic, elegant. Not streetstyle, not coquette, or whatever this is. Iâm still representing the family I married into and cannot wear this.â
âIâm sorry, but black cashmere sweaters were not on sale today, maâam,â your lawyer said, and as you drew a closer look at him, you noticed that he was dressed all in black already too, and not in his usual suit, but more casual, even wearing a beanie himself. âNow undress and change into the clothes that I brought.â
âWhat would I wear this for?â You lifted up your hands and pulled up the pants. You usually never wore pants. âWhere are we going? To the club? I donât go to clubs.â
âNo, weâre going to your house.â
âAnd why would we need these clothes if weâre going there?â
Somehow, you sensed you wouldnât like the answer at all. âBecause weâre going to rob you.â
âI- I donât understand. Robbing⌠me? My home? While Iâm there?â
âNo.â Your lawyer came over to you, took the beanie out of the bag and then put it on your own head. He pulled the ends down into your face, messing up your slick bun so that a few strands stuck into your forehead. âFits you perfectly.â
âDo you meanâŚâ
The corners of his lips tilted up. âExactly. Youâre going to rob your own house.â
âAre you nuts?!â
âMaâam, these words out of your mouth?â He snickered. âChange into the new clothes and then we can go.â
âWhat should this be good for?â
âIt sounds cliche, but you really canât see people who dress in black in the dark very clearly.â
âNo, I mean robbing my home. What should that be good for?â
âAh, that.â He scratched the back of his head. âWhen there is nothing of value in the house, then there are no items to fight over, hence less work for us. You said you didnât care about his possessions, right? Then he wonât have anything left in the morning. Weâre only going to grab jewelry and this kind of stuff for you to keep or sell. Just out of spite.â
You gasped in shock. âThatâs illegal! Iâm pretty sure thatâs even a crime!â
âI can guarantee you,â he confirmed, âthis is a crime on paper. Remember you told me you could play dirty?â
When you had agreed on playing dirty when it was needed, you had hoped that it was only a formality, that he was exaggerating or just wanted to test your willpower. You had never expected you both standing in front of your dark home in the middle of the night, dressed up as robbers just to do exactly that: commit a robbery.
With your arms crossed to hide your shaking limbs, you looked around nervously, sending a quick prayer to the heavens. Even though you lived on the highest floor and had used several backdoors through the building so that no one would know you had even entered in the first place, you still felt the risk of getting caught any second.
âThis doesnât help me at all,â your lawyer complained while handling the entrance door with different tools that made noises and left traces a little too obvious for your liking.Â
âThere is CCTV everywhere here and you just ruined the doorâs frame,â you whispered in agony. âWhen my husband reports the robbery, they will check the time and date and then see us somewhere!â
âDo you think itâs my first time doing this?â he answered calmly while the door then opened smoothly with almost no sound. You furrowed your brows in question and wondered. Wasnât the alarm supposed to go off? With a smug smile, your lawyer arose from his position and pushed the door entirely open. âOf course I had let the entire grid be turned off.â
You blinked in confusion. âHow?â
âAgain, youâll wonder how far one comes in this country with just a little bribery.â
âThatâs not very ethical,â you chided.
âYou know whatâs not ethical either?â He locked eyes with you. âYour husband taking all the money thatâs legally yours from before your marriage, leaving you with no seed capital to start anew, with no prospects. Yes, itâs in the prenup, but what gives him the right to rob you like that just because itâs written on some piece of paper? Maâam, the world is not a fair place,â he said confidently. âSometimes, you just have to accept that. So, letâs go on a robbery.â
Your eyes narrowed, your nervosity completely wiped by now. âLetâs start with his office on the ground floor. I know he has some very expensive jewelry stored openly in there.â
Your lawyerâs grin widened. âPerfect.â
He had destroyed the door in a way that carried evidence of forced entry for the police investigation. On your way to the suggested room, you moved through the living area as well, and your lawyer had made it his mission to throw over some chairs and a small side table that had once carried some valuable crystal figurines that your mother in law liked to collect. They then all laid shattered on the floor.
âThat was crystal!â you cried out. âDo you know how much it was worth? That was not necessary!â
âWeâre on a robbery, not on a shopping trip at Tiffanyâs,â he groaned. âDo robbers look like they care about some figurines? They come in a hurry and take everything valuable they can get in a short amount of time. They want the big stuff, gold, silver, money, jewelry⌠they donât care for porcelain, vases⌠or whatever this was, things that are too big and break easily. Remember, weâre robbers, we have to make it look like we donât care. Now, show me where he keeps his valuables stored.â
âThere is way too much valuable stuff. How are we supposed to carry all of it?â
âWe wonât.â
Your lawyer moved to the huge cabinet in the living area, stopped there for a moment, and then threw his entire body against the furniture. You let out a loud gasp, and another one as he pushed against the cabinet one more time, bringing it to a fall along with the pieces that were stored inside, instantly shattering in the process. The noise was immense and you had to cover your ears. He might not look like it in his suit, but now that he was only wearing a rather tight shirt, you noticed that your lawyer was very well built and that this was the reason why the cabinet hadnât stood a chance from the beginning.Â
He let out a âPhew!â as he turned to you and wiped over his forehead. âYou can take on destroying his files and papers, just everything important to him. Let me handle this physical stuff. Don't worry, I made sure the neighbors on the floor beneath werenât there tonight.â
You understood why you had to do this. If there werenât many valuable items you had to fight over, the higher would be the chance they would let you off with your own money and the less time and nerves it would take to finalize the divorce, yet the sentiments that tied you to this placeâŚ
⌠they were nonexistent.
Opening all of your husbandâs cabinets, rummaging through them and pulling stuff out just to scatter them everywhere felt somewhat very satisfying. You saw all his important files and papers on the ground and stomped on them like a maniac. Everything he worked so hard for, everything he owned while trying to steal from you simultaneously like he had done all your life already. Back in the days, you had just been too young and naive to notice.
You had held back so much during all this time and had never found a way to verbalize your feelings. A lady didnât do that. A lady was always graceful and just endured. Right now though, you didnât feel very ladylike. And it was the best feeling in so long.
You only stopped when your lawyer stood there next to you, arms folded across his chest, and there was an edge of mocking delight in his voice when he asked, âYouâre done already?â
You lowered your head as he had caught you red-handed, but you also couldnât wipe off the faint beam that remained on your lips even when he started rummaging through your husbandâs cabinets in search of the watches you had told him were stored in there.
âI wasnât aware he has such a large collection of the most expensive watches in the world,â your lawyer commented when he lightened up a drawer with the flashlight. âIf I keep one to myself, would he notice? But then again, he wonât see any of these again anyway. So maybe I should ask you?â
You let out a long sigh and grabbed the watch from him that you then threw into the bag that he had brought along with. âThatâs not funny. I think you make enough money to buy yourself an expensive watch.â
âNot this brand, but wellâŚâ
You rolled your eyes and continued with the sham robbery on the lower floor before moving on to the second. It was easy to destroy your own belongings as well. You didnât feel any sentiment as you had expected. Over time, you had grown so resentful, at this point, you just really didnât care anymore, except forâŚ
âDonât. Not inside there!â You threw yourself against the door your lawyer had initiated to open. There was no way he didnât know what kind of room this was after his last visit, so he went in there with a purpose. As you lifted your head, a flash of empathy crossed his face, but you stopped your pleading gaze from breaking eye contact with him. âPleaseâŚâ
You had been wrong. There was still something your sentiments were tied to in this place, the room where your baby should have lived.
âIâm sorry,â you heard him tell you with the lowest and softest form of tone he had ever addressed you with. âBut if we leave this room out, then something is off. We have to at least rummage-â
Your front teeth pressed into your lower lip as you struggled with either making way for him or fighting him. You had hoped that, regardless of how much time had already passed, your past could always remain here as long as you kept this room locked up - just as your memories.
Letting another person inside would mean you had to close this chapter. And even if your therapist back then had also advised you to change this room into another event space and move on, you had never brought your heart to agree to that. What would happen if you moved out eventually? Wasnât this the best opportunity to finally take this step? But it came so suddenâŚ
âCan I still keep something?â you asked timidly. âMy husband never entered this room, so he wouldn't miss anything, and I know what you want to say⌠I understand. Just please⌠one thing I can keep for myself? Maybe a jumper or a toyâŚâ
It took a long while until he shrugged and eventually said, âYou know⌠I donât think there are robbers this cruel who would destroy a baby room. I meanâŚâ He opened the door, but didnât go inside. âNo one would hide valuable possessions inside here anyway. Letâs go.â
âThank you,â you whispered, and you wondered whether your tone could even carry a tiny fragment of the relief you were feeling right now to your lawyer, expressing how grateful you were for his understanding and gentleness, even though in his world, it might not make much sense at all.Â
If he noticed the depth of your gratitude after all, with him risking your scam just to leave you this tiny piece of sentiment, then he didnât bother showing you.
âNow off to my favorite part⌠the safe!â
âWe wonât reach whatâs inside there,â you warned him. âI even doubt his beloved mother knows the passcode to that.â
âOh, we wonât get to steal whatâs inside. But we will try. Ever used a crowbar to hit against something? Itâs fun! Letting out a little anger. Youâll like it.â
Oh, how much you indeed came to like it.
____
âVery well.â
Your lawyer seemingly skimmed over the police report before he placed it aside on his desk, deeming it as done. Only a week after the incident, you had brought him a copy of the official papers that your husband had filed to confirm that everything was going according to plan.
After your fake robbery, you had pretended to arrive at home and called your husband in feigned shock that sounded so real over the phone, you nearly believed it yourself. Since he had been in a neighboring city only, he had arrived two hours later, and the performance you had put on in front of him and the police was nearly Oscar-worthy.
âThen, you only have to sign this.â Your lawyer had pulled out another set of documents from a staple on this desk and slid them over to you. âExactly here, please.â
âWhat is this?â You read something about a bank in a whole other country that was unfamiliar to you, and a bank account under a name that was unfamiliar, too. âI cannot sign for another person.â
âI know. Thatâs why you will sign as this person whose name the account is booked under.â
âThatâs not legal, I could go to jail for that!â
âThis again?â your lawyer groaned. âThis is the bank account onto which we will transfer all your money and hide it from your husband and his family. It is required for you to make sure you will keep your inheritance. It will take a few weeks, because of course we canât just book your whole trust fund money onto another bank from one day to the other, it will take a few steps.â
âSo basically money laundering,â you concluded cautiously.
âThatâs the legal term, yes. I would describe it asâŚâ He pursed his lips as though he was really thinking hard to come up with something. âPlaying hide and seek. Itâs suddenly gone and you donât know exactly how long it will take, but eventually, youâll always find it.â
You rolled your eyes, but signed the papers nonetheless.
âVery well. Now, grab your purse,â your lawyer summoned while he was taking off his glasses and arose from his chair. âWeâre going to celebrate.â
âCelebrate? Celebrate what?â
âThis success.â He put on his suit coat, circled his desk and picked up your purse from the chair next to you himself, thrusting it into your lap as you hadnât made any move to reach for it yourself..Â
âOkay, but where?â
âCan you drink?â
âNot really.â
âVery well, then Iâll teach you.â
You reluctantly got up from your seat as you suspiciously asked, âIs this something you do with all your clients, Mr. Jeong?â
You were only able to watch his back when he opened the door and admitted, âOnly with the ones I like.â
While you were still pondering whether his words had been a compliment, he had decided to take you to a shady bar, at a part of the city where you would never set foot in. It was dim and smelled strongly of smoke. The majority of the guests were male, there was a billiard table in the center, and on the menu were only beer and harder beverages.
âThis is not the kind of establishment I usually frequent, Mr. Jeong,â you judged harshly while you struggled to find a comfortable position on the bar stool next to your lawyer.
âNo, I donât think you frequent any bar at all.â He had let himself plop on the stool next to you, took off his jacket and ordered two drinks you hadnât heard of and neither ever sipped on before. âI purposely brought you here. You thought we were going to visit some kind of fancy rooftop hotel bar? Sorry to disappoint you.â
You scanned your environment with raised brows and a look that made men look back at you - but not in the open kind way. They were rather skeptical and curious. Your lawyer was still the best dressed here, everyone else was wearing casual clothes like they had just hopped by after work. They sensed you didnât belong here, their faces spoke volumes.
âDonât worry, these guys are harmless and actually nice. They just want a good drink and company before heading home alone, back to their dark and lonely room. Itâs just⌠they donât see women here that often.â
âI figured that much. What is this place even? Why are we here, Mr. Jeong?â
âIt's a place to have fun! Try having fun, will you? Here.â He slid one of the two glasses the barkeeper had just dropped off on the counter closer to you. âDrink. Maybe this will help you to finally loosen up. And drop the âMr. Jeongâ-stuff, weâre off duty now.â
You knew there was no way you could say no, and even though you were doubtfully sniffing on the drink, trying to guess what it could be, you had to empty it under your lawyerâs watchful eyes.
âOh my god!â You were coughing while your entire face heated up. You felt the liquid burning through your throat, making its way all the way to your stomach and settling there with a heat you had rarely encountered before. âWhat is this?!â
âItâs a drink to have fun! Are you having fun yet?â
âNo!â
âVery well.â He downed his own beverage and then raised his hand. âBarkeeper, we need another two of these.â
You didnât know how long it took for your perception of time to start shifting. You also didnât know why you didnât stop drinking, and certainly not why you didnât say no. He wouldnât have forced you, that much you were certain of. Maybe it was because you were truly weak. But maybe, in some kind of twisted circumstance, you were truly starting to have fun.
âHere, hold this.â You thrusted your purse and your jacket into Jaehyunâs hands. âI canât look at this misery any longer.â
You rolled up the sleeves of your blouse and opened the first two buttons before - suddenly feeling not too hot and cramped in your own skin anymore - you strutted over to the men who had gathered around the billiard table, ready to start another set of games.
âMay I join?â you asked into the round and earned many curious looks back. âTrust me guys, Iâm really good at this.â
You had played billiard in your home so often, it started to bore you the better you got at this game. And with time, it had started to really dread you, because there had never been anyone to play with the many hours a day had to offer.Â
âMiss, I donât think-â
âLet her.â You didnât see him, but you felt Jaehyunâs presence right behind you. Your chest swelled with confidence and pride. âShe said she can do it, so let her.â
The men threw questioning looks at each other, but it didnât take them too long until they all agreed to let you join, and one of them handed a queue over to you. âLadies first.â
If your confidence had rooted from the alcohol you had chugged earlier, its effect was starting to lack now, because suddenly, you didnât feel so full of yourself anymore. You bowed down lightly and positioned yourself on one side of the table. You usually started here, playing at home, but abruptly, you got so nervous with all these men looking at you with a certain edge of judgment they were unsuccessfully trying to conceal.Â
If you failed the gameâs opening, there would be no coming back from it, the momentum missed. You would play bad and they would all make fun of you. Maybe it would be better if you just backed down nowâŚ
âWell, well, wellâŚâ
You felt a palm on your lower back as you made attempts to arise from your position, keeping you in place as the hand gently pressed against the push upwards that you made. Jaehyun was preventing you from giving up.
He bowed down to you and whispered into your ear, âYou donât have to impress anyone. Just loosen up, let it go and have fun.â
You closed your eyes and breathed in deeply. He didnât retreat his hand when you opened them again and angled the queue. He didnât retreat his hand when you pulled back and pushed into the billiard balls. He only retreated his hand when you turned around to him, throwing your arms around his neck to celebrate that you had immediately put three balls into the holes.
You didnât know when your hair had loosened and now fell in soft waves around your shoulders. You didnât know when you had opened a third and fourth button on your blouse, revealing a bit of your undershirt. You also had lost count of the amount of drinks you had already downed the further the night processed.
But what you knew was that you had incredible fun.
âDid you see that, Jaehyun?â You were jumping up and down in front of him after winning another game against one of the bar visitors. âI won again!â
âYes.â He smiled softly, like you had never seen before. âWell done.â
You tilted your head, your lipstick long gone, your cheeks heated. âIt suits you so well, Jaehyun.â
âWhat?â
âThat smile.â You beamed back. âMaybe you should wear this expression more often than that scorny grin. I like this one better.â
You couldnât clearly see in the dim lightning, but you could swear you caught his ears turn red, and it was incredibly cute.
âAlright, brandy blossom,â Jaehyun then called out after you had won another game. âTime to go home before your hubby returns.â
âAlready?â you pursed your lips and put down the queue.Â
âYou donât want to be caught reeking of alcohol, all disheveled, right?â
You gasped and stemmed your hands against your hips. âOf course not! Just⌠another round, please? I need to properly say goodbye to my new friends.â
He gave in, knowing he didnât stand a chance against the sad face you and the men you had been playing with pulled all at once.
Seemingly annoyed, Jaehyun sighed. âBut just one.â
____
âJaehyun, everything is spinning.â You leaned against him while he put an arm around you and kept you on your feet as you entered the elevator. âAnd I feel sick.â
âThatâs my fault. I shouldnât have let you play another round and have a last farewell drink with the other guests.â He pressed the button and watched the door close in front of you both.
âBut I had so much fun,â you said as you looked for support by stemming yourself against the elevator wall. âI canât remember the last time Iâve had this much fun. I would do it all over again. Can we do this again sometime, please⌠Jaehyun?â
You didnât know if Jaehyun ever replied to that as you closed your eyes and drifted away. You were moving, that much you knew, or was it all in your memory as well? You didnât use your own body, but felt like you were being carried, not having to put your feet down. You were floating and a slight breeze pulling on the ends of your hair strands suggested that somewhere, a window must have opened, and then you fellâŚ
⌠but on a soft cloud.
Your eyes reluctantly opened and you saw Jaehyun bending over you, worry sketched all over his face.
âThank god!â he exclaimed in relief. âI thought you were passed out.â
âI feel so sweaty and smelly, Jaehyun,â you complained to him, starting to unbutton your blouseâs remaining buttons. âI have to change.â
âIâll bring you the bathrobe.â But he wasnât able to leave your side as your hand reached out to him and locked him down with a tight grip around his wrist.
âPlease donât go,â you whined, very much under the influence. âI donât wanna be alone.â
âI wonâtâ, he spoke with a voice so gently, even in this state you wondered if it was the same person you spoke to about your divorce. You felt a palm touching your temple, swiping away a few hair strands. âIâll just bring you a fresh bathrobe.â
Still, you refused and shook your head. âPlease stay.â
It didnât take him a second to answer, âFine, Iâll stay.â
You drew a deep breather, staring at the half-darkened ceiling that was semi blurry in your drunken state. Only a small light was on, somewhere in the corner. Perhaps, it was the alcohol speaking the following words, but suddenly, you got so sad and hid your face by placing your forearm on your head.Â
âActually, you know⌠Iâm so scared of getting divorced.â
âWhy is that?â
âIâm scared that Iâll be alone all my life, after all.â
This time, Jaehyunâs answer took him much longer as if he was carefully thinking about each word. âYouâre the most fascinating woman Iâve ever encountered. You wonât be having any struggles attracting men who are handsome and treat you well, Iâm sure about that. Just this time, choose widely.â
âI donât think I want to get married so fast again,â you confessed. âI think next time, I will take it slow. I want to get a degree and open my business first. Then, I want to get married again.â
âThat sounds very reasonable. You hadnât had a chance to enjoy your youth much.â
âBut I donât want one night stands, flings, short-lived encountersâŚâ You dared to peek from under your arm and eventually withdrew it from your face to look at Jaehyun properly. âWhat if I meet my true love during that time? Will he wait until Iâm ready?â
He spoke with confident sincerity that was reflected in his expression as he assured you, âIf he truly loves you, then he will wait.â
âBut⌠I want to experience the love I am able to give. What if there is really only one love we get to have in a lifetime, and he has been this love for me? What if Iâve used up all of my love for this life already?â
âThatâs nonsense,â Jaehyun instantly dismissed. âLove is endless, you cannot use it up. Especially you. You have so much love to give, you cannot be the only person out there. You will meet someone whose love is as endless as yours, I promise.â
âHow much love have you got left, Jaehyun? Is it still endless too?â
Only at this moment, you realized that you hadnât let go of his wrist all along. Only at this moment, when he twisted your bothâs fingers in a way that intertwined them. Your chest welled up, you hadnât felt this cared for in what felt like an eternity.
âYes,â he whispered. âItâs still endless too.â
âThen Iâm glad,â you replied with a smile before drifting off to sleep.
____
You didnât know when you last had fallen asleep with your husband on the same bed, let alone holding hands with him and having his arms wrapped around you from the back. Waking up groggily on your soft bedding, you first saw your intertwined hands resting on your hip, your husband breathing delicately with his face buried in your nape.
It was odd. You didnât feel put off or disgusted even as normally whenever he even tried to have some kind of body contact with you. No, you felt content, comfortable and warm. So, so warm.
Except for⌠as your eyes scanned the room, it dawned on you that this was not your houseâs wall and neither was that your window you were looking at. This wasnât your bed either, and behind you was certainly not your husband laying.Â
âNo, no, no!â Your breath caught and you sat up straight on the mattress, waking up your lawyer with your hectic movements. âNo, this canât be!â
âWhatâs going on?â He instantly arose into a seating position although his eyes were barely opened yet. âYouâre leaving already? Itâs only⌠6am.â
âYes!â you screeched and escaped the entangled sheets, starting to adjust your pulled up skirt and open blouse. Your cheeks heated up and you turned around, away from your lawyerâs peripheral so as to not reveal more of your body to him than you already had. âI was supposed to be home by last night! Why am I here? Is this a hotel?â
âYou were so drunk, you could barely walk and always drifted off to sleep, I couldnât just bring you home. I just wanted to make sureâŚâ He paused and then shrugged. âWhatever.â
âOh my god, what do I tell my husband?â You ran your fingers through your disheveled hair and tried to clean your clothes. You could barely remember the last night. âWhere is my phone?â
âHere.â Your lawyer held up the device in front of you. âZero messages and zero missed calls. Can you calm down now, please? Iâll drive you.â
You took your phone into your hand and looked at it in utter confusion. âThatâs strange. Usually, he would call me when Iâm not home or at least send me a message. Letâs just hope he didnât bother checking up in the first place, that would be the best case.â A very unwell feeling suddenly crept up your body, laying itself on your chest and slowly cutting off your air. âSomething is off. I need to go home. Really, I need to go home right now.â
Rather cold hands suddenly placed themselves on your left and right cheek, cupping your face. Your lawyer looked straight at you with penetrating eyes. âPlease, I need you to calm down first. Now.â
You tried shaking your head, but his grip was too strong. âI canât-â
âYes, you can.â There was no talking back. He wouldnât let you go otherwise. âCalm down, then get dressed and Iâll take you home. Spiraling right now is not helpful. Try collecting your thoughts and then act according to it.â
So you tried as he told you and closed your eyes. You took a few deep breathers, but even though you could set your body at peace just a little bit, your heart still refused to do so. And you got a feeling it was not because of what was awaiting you at home, but rather because your lawyer stood so close to you. It was his presence that caused you to be all irritated at this moment.
A few memory threads flowed into each other again, and pieces of last night seeped back into your mind⌠Your hands around his neck, his soft smile, his gentle words, his arms carrying you to the hotel room, his fingers intertwined with yours, his chest pressed against your back in your sleepâŚ
You looked at him, utterly petrified. Had you just cheated on your husband?
âYouâre coming?â he asked.
You followed him out of the hotel room and into the elevator. You didnât say a single word and he didnât pick up a topic to talk about either, so you just remained silent and avoided eye contact at all cost. You wondered if he felt the same way about your unexpected intimacy from the night before: guilty and ashamed - against yourself.Â
That was what you would describe it, but it was not what entirely described the bigger picture. Because why else would you have wished not to be still married right now just to have laid in bed with your lawyer for a bit longer?
âCheckout, please,â you heard him say as you stood next to him, totally lost.
Your husband was an attractive man, but your lawyer⌠You watched his back bend, messy strands falling into his forehead, a crinkled shirt tightening around his chest. A small part of you that had supposedly taken control over you last night, yearned for him in a way you had never yearned for a man before, not even your own husband.
You suddenly broke out in cold sweat and had to look away, fingers gripping tightly onto the jacket in your hand. You were still a married woman, you were not supposed to feel this way about another man yet, even though you didnât love your husband anymore. You still belonged to him on paperâŚ
âLetâs go.â Your lawyer looked at you, frowning. âAre you okay? You look feverish.â
He wanted to touch your forehead, but you quickly turned your head away. âIâm fine.â
He didnât believe you, but let it rest. âFine.â
You trotted after him, feeling torn about what was morally right and the desires that had started to involuntarily get into your head.
____
Something was off at home, because nobody was there.
You and your husband didnât speak often except for the necessities. Most of the time, he would sleep at his office in the house, coming back late in the night and leaving early in the morning. Sometimes, when it was very late, he didnât bother to check up on you at all, assuming you were asleep already. For last night, you had just hoped that it was this exact case.
And just as you were standing there in the lobby, kind of lost and still groggy with a slight hangover starting to announce itself, you got a phone call.
âHey,â you greeted.
âHey,â your husband greeted back. âIâm sorry I didnât make it home last night, and I wonât be able to come back today either. There is too much going on in the company.â
You didnât bother to care anymore, you hadnât in a long time. You were just relieved that last night didnât have any consequences. âI understand.â
âIs mother already gone?â
âM⌠mother?âÂ
Your blood froze and your vision shifted to a silhouette that was just revealing itself in the corner and slowly stepping into the weak daylight. You had judged too early, weighed yourself in safety too fast as there it was, your consequences.
âYes,â your husband responded. âDonât you think it was nice of her to spend the night, because she was worried you would be alone after the robbery? Anyway, I have to hang up and get back to work. Bye.â
Your arm slowly slipped down, fingers barely still holding onto the phone as you looked at your mother-in-law like you were facing a ghost.
âBy the looks of it, it seems like someoneâs had a rough night.â
You did your best to keep your voice low and conceal the trembling tone that came along with your answer, âI was at a friendâs house last night.â
Your mother-in-law snickered and approached you, her face not changing a bit - the result of year long surgeries. She was smaller than you and certainly older, but something so wicked and deeply evil had always been surrounding this woman that even her own sons wouldnât dare to look into her eyes without permission.
Secretly, she was the one running and pulling the strings behind the company, the entire conglomerate even, stemming from one of the countryâs richest families for centuries. At least that was what she liked to tell, but your research didnât reveal such connections. That didnât make her appearance less intimidating though as even her own husband looked small next to her.
âDonât fool me, darling. You donât have any friends.â
Two years ago, you would have apologized deeply and fallen to your knees, begging for forgiveness, even if it meant kneeling for days. But you werenât the intimidated girl from shortly after your marriage anymore. Losing your child had shaped you deeply and the divorce was the final stage, not the process - even though you still had weak moments. You decided this wouldnât be one of them.
âYou donât know anything about me or my life.â
Somehow, you felt mentally so strong right now and straightened your shoulders to present self-confidence, aware of the fact that even though your way through this divorce was not the prettiest and most legal, it was the most effective. And truth to be told, they didnât deserve a clean divorce anyway.
âI see it written all over your face,â she snarled. âYouâve been with another man.â
This woman didnât deserve a glimpse of your new, true self at all.
This woman who had told her son, âIf you had just waited half a year more, you wouldnât have had to marry her and we wouldnât have this burden in our family now.â
And the son who had just answered, âIâm sorry to be such a disgrace, mother.â
And you, the timid girl, you had just sat with them and swallowed every tear, because nobody in this family was supposed to cry - not even after losing your own child.
You wondered if that had been the moment you started slowly losing the love for your husband who you had deeply loved from the first the moment he struck up a conversation with you at the university where he had been invited to as a guest speaker. Three months in, you got pregnant and another three months later, were married.Â
You had never graduated with your degree, but you hadnât cared, because you had loved him deeply. For you, it had always been enough - but never for his family. It struck you the moment you had lost your baby and fell from grace.
For two more years, you had wondered whether you could restore the fading love or find another way to feel so deeply again. You had been stuck in a limbo where you questioned if it was some strange form of Stockholm Syndrome you had developed or whether you were just too weak of a person to break free, too afraid to never find love again.Â
When one night two months ago, you had found your husband all immersed in work and family problems on the death anniversary of your child which he clearly had forgotten about, you had finally figured that he was a simple man who would always be under the control of his mother. There was no need to fight for what had long been lost. You were much stronger alone.
âYou are only still here, because a divorce is a disgrace, never forget that and be grateful you have everything you need. Other women would happily trace places with you.â
âThen let them!â It was the first time you heard yourself raising your voice against her. âLet them replace me! You know we donât love each other anymore, why donât you let me go then?â
âOh, darling.â Your mother-in-law stretched out her hand and touched your cheek. It felt ice cold, but you couldnât move as your body turned to stone. âI would have, but youâre just so easy to keep here, why bother in the first place? I can keep you low and our reputation stored, itâs much better than dealing with a hassle.â
No, you werenât easy to keep anymore anymore, you were just very good at hiding all of it and keeping up your facade. Maybe before, you would have caved and given in. Maybe before this all, you would have crouched in front of her. Maybe, before you hired your lawyer, you wouldnât have had these thoughts at all. But only the imagination of him gave you everything you needed to fight back years of suppression.Â
âIâm not scared of you.â
The slap came unexpectedly, leaving a visible mark on the side of your face. You gasped for air as you held onto the burning skin, your senses not coming together just yet over what had just happened. It felt like the spot got handled with many needles trying to push through a thin layer.
âThe next time youâre robbing your own house, make sure to not leave footprints all over the scattered papers, the police might be onto something. I donât know whoâs helping you, if that person is a criminal or your affair, but if you really have some kind of shady thing going on behind my back, I will take you down and your entire family with you.â A threat so sharp that cut through the air like a knife. âNobody knows about this, so I will do you a favor and keep it between us. If you continue with whatever youâre planning, I promise you, you will regret it deeply.â
Your family⌠you didnât know when you had last seen them. You missed them dearly and there was no way you could put them in danger.
That was the only thing you could think of before you snapped back to reality as the entrance door closed behind you.
____
âWho did this to you?â
Your lawyer was kneeling in front of you, inspecting your bruised face with hands so gentle and a gaze so soft, it reminded you all of last night. You were sitting on the couch in his office, legs pulled up to your chest, staring at him but at the same time through him.
âWho?â he asked again as you didnât respond, this time more insistently. He jumped back to his feet. âWho did this to you? Your husband?! Iâm gonna k-â
Reluctantly, you shook your head. âNo, it was my mother-in-law. She knows.â
âShe knows about what? Whatever she knows, it doesnât give her the right to physically abuse you!â You had never seen him this agitated and furious before as he walked around his office in a haste, apparently in search of something.Â
âShe knows that Iâm onto something⌠with someone,â you admitted, fearing that he might get angry as you had not been careful enough. âShe mentioned my shoeâs footprints over the scattered papers on the ground⌠I walked all over them, remember?â
âSo what?â your lawyer dismissed in an instant. âThis doesnât mean anything. If this divorce makes it to the court, no judge will pay attention to this detail. You live in the house, naturally your footprints will be somewhere.â
You lowered your head, but sensed him walking back to you and pressing something against your cheek, providing instant relief to your burning skin. It was an empty, cold glass. âSorry, I donât have anything else here. I hope it helps.â
âThank you.â
âWhat else did she say?â he inquired. âWhatever she said, I promise you, in this divorce, I will wring her out until sheâs dry and has nothing left anymore. Then, I will push even further, that much I can do.â
âSheâs right with everything sheâs said to me,â you whispered absent-mindedly, rotating the glass on your skin so that the spot would always meet a cold surface. âIâm so easy to keep, thatâs why Iâm still there.â It was a paradox to you how a much older and tinier woman had brought up enough strength to hurt you this deeply, inwardly and outwardly. âBut what was I supposed to do all this time? Iâm from a reputable family and have willingly signed this contract, giving away my rights, my freedom. It was very convenient for them⌠I was only a convenience that had come along at the right time as their son wasnât married yet. And then, I couldnât even bear my child, and it turned me into a disgrace in an instant.â
âStop!â your lawyer called out, bracing his arms against his desk that then creaked under his weight. His eyes were forcibly closed and there was a huge frown forming on his face. âDonât ever talk about yourself like this again!â
âBut itâs the truth!â you protested. âShe may not be in the right, but she is right about me! I willingly agreed to cut off contact with my family, friends, everyone. And then it takes me two years to do something against it! Letâs face the truthâŚâ
âDonât say that,â he pleaded lowly, his knuckles turning white as he added more pressure to his grip against the deskâs edge. âItâs not like you. You were always so full of hope, in a fighting mode.â
âI still am!â you disagreed. âI still am full of hope and fighting, but letâs face the truth... Iâm so young and I will have been through a divorce in the near future. Iâve lost a child, I donât have a degree, no money for now, no prospects. Who would even want me anymore?â
You didnât except an answer, it was only a rhetorical question, but he still gave you one,
âMe. I would.â
You heaved up your head, expecting to encounter a grin as your lawyer had just joked around to lift up your spirits in a meek attempt, but as you met his gaze, your breath caught. He was not kidding. He was dead serious, and by now you could quite well distinguish between his serious and joking demeanor.
âJaehyunâŚâ
His brows drew together, and he eventually broke out in a relieved smile, just a little bit. âFinally, you call me by my first name, even now.â
âMr. Je- Jaeh-â You shook your head in confusion. You suddenly didnât know what to think, say or even feel anymore. âPlease donât joke around, now is not the time.â
âIâm offended that you think Iâm joking after all this time. I donât make jokes about that.â
You dropped the glass on the cushion and jumped out of your seat, moving to the other end of the office room, far away from him. You couldnât bear being so close to him with all that nonsense that he was speaking, because you feared that a big part of you wished for it to become true.Â
âYou know that I am looking for my one true love.â
âWho said it canât be me?â
âIâm still married to Kang Seungmin.â
âThen I will have to hurry up with the divorce papers.â
âI want to get a degree and open my business before marrying again.â
âIâm willing to support that and wait.â
âYouâre so full of life and Iâm so broken.â
âThen Iâll bring you back to life too.â
Why did everything he say sound so illogical, yet so tempting? If life was only that easy as he always made it seem with his shady business, maybe there was still hope for you, too. You longed for the lighthearted young woman you had been in the past, and something inside you, maybe the remnants of her, believed that with him, she could find her way back to the surface.
âYou donât understand the depths of my trauma, you cannot love me, Mr. Jeong.â You turned back to the couch and picked up your purse. Walking towards the door, you told him, âI wish we would have met before all of this happened. I wish you would have met me when I was still in university. You would have liked me more back then and my life would have turned out differently.â
âYour life can still turn out differently, because it doesnât matter when we would have met. I would have liked you all the same.â
You wanted to walk out, but your fingers remained on the door handle, refusing to move. Your cheeks were burning, but on both sides and for an entirely different reason now than shortly before. You were crying hot tears that were streaming down your face. âYou donât know what youâre sayingâŚâ
Suddenly, you felt his hot breath against your neck and flinched. But he didnât touch you, no matter how desperately you wanted it, and you continued to fight against this desire.Â
âWe can also fall in love now, forget about the past and start again.â
âThis is what you cannot understand,â you spoke earnestly. âI can never forget about the past, Mr. Jeong. And I refuse to do so, because itâs a part of me and will become a part of my partner too. My current husband has failed to allow this to happen to him.â
Then, your fingers were finally moving and you slipped out of his office. You used the stairs this time, running all the way to the ground floor. Only outside of the building, you were ready to come to a standstill and start breathing regularly again. You were sweating unlike ever before, hot and cold waves washing through your body.
But you continued your way by walking, walking all the way home, whether directly or in circles, you didnât know. You just kept walking until it was nighttime, until you returned to your house where emptiness was awaiting you.
And as you stood there, alone in the darkness, you wondered how long it would take for it to consume you entirely.
You refused to let it get this far. Not again.
____
A few days later, you were standing in front of a grave that you generally avoided visiting except for only one time a year. The pain was too much to bear alone as nobody had ever bothered to accompany you.
This year, you were here for the second time - but this time you had company.
âIâm sorry if the things Iâve said back then were too insensitive,â Jaehyun apologized. âJust because Iâm older doesnât mean Iâm more experienced. Of course I donât know anything about your pain.â
âThatâs why I brought you here,â you told him, your look unwavering from the small tombstone. âI want to share it with you. If you still want to love me after this, then I will believe you.â
âŚ
When you found out that you were pregnant, you werenât shocked like so many girls your age, who had just entered university, would generally feel.Â
You were head over heels in love with your boyfriend who, despite your huge age gap and his position in the company, had made it his priority to shower you with gifts and love. That this was considered âlove bombingâ and âgroomingâ, you would only figure out later. Up until this day, you were still convinced your love for him was real. It just wasnât your fault that you were an easy target. It was his fault that he had even approached you in the first place as a grown man ten years older than you.
It only took one time for the two stripes on the test to appear. His happiness wasnât feigned, and neither was yours. Of course you would drop out of university and get married. Marrying into this family would mean to never have to work anymore anyway and only caring for your child and husband. The fact that this was all convenient for a man who couldnât keep a woman his age and was under so much pressure from his family, you would only figure out later.Â
It was a shotgun wedding, but of course that wasnât what was written all over the news. To his familyâs luck, you werenât showing yet and from a reputable background, but you had to hurry up with the wedding nonetheless. You were anticipating this child so much, even though your family tried to sabotage your wedding. That was probably why you were so easy to get talked into cutting off all contact with the people related to you. They didnât understand you. The fact that they only tried to warn and save you, you would only figure out much later.
You signed away your inheritance, because what was yours was his, and thus for your child and every future child as well, it sounded all logical. You felt loved and cared for unlike ever before. Why be with your unsupportive family when every love and warmth you could find with your husbandâs family? Other people looked for love all their lifetime and were unsuccessful. You were lucky to have found the love of your life at an early age.Â
The fact that the people who told you you were too young to marry were not jealous, but only caring, you would only figure out much laterâŚ
⌠when you were lying in your bed with cramps so bad, you thought you were going to die. Except that it was the child inside of you, who was almost due to be born, was the one dying.
There hadnât been any signs. He had been healthy. Yet, somehow, his heart had stopped beating.
They took your baby out with a c-section, you had only held him in your arms once. Nobody had shown up to share this incredibly painful moment with you.Â
This moment that had dragged you into a darkness which would take you years to break free from.
âŚ
âSuddenly,â you continued, speaking to Jaehyun, âI wasnât the beloved daughter-in-law anymore. I was a disgrace. If I cannot keep a baby, why bother about me? My body cannot function properly, it refuses to act according to nature. Nobody looked at me the same way anymore, not even my husband. While my mother-in-law confronted me with disgust and anger whenever we met, it was disappointment that was mirrored in my husbandâs eyes. He wanted to try again, his mother wanted him to. They didnât give me a moment to mourn my stillborn child.â
âDid heâŚ?â Jaehyun started, unable to speak out the words, but you shook your head.
âShe insulted him many times, but he never did anything against my will. We did genuinely try though, I didnât want to give up on my marriage, but I think my body already had. Sometimes, I caught him lying to his mother that we were trying when we had long stopped. This, Iâm grateful for. But it made her hate me even more, because Iâm in the wrong as I cannot conceive according to her.â
âThis is horribleâŚâ
You stood there, side by side, looking at your babyâs grave. âSometimes I think he knew what kind of life was awaiting him and chose to not join me. I would have been a horrible mother under these circumstances.â
âHe?â
âMy baby was a boy.â
âNo.â Jaehyun shook his head and suddenly reached for your hand. He was holding it for a long time, before he eventually said, âYou would have been the best mom, no matter the circumstances.â
âSo why is my baby not with me now?â you sobbed. âWhy did it leave me?â
This was a question you were asking yourself over and over again, ever since it had happened. Your therapist had advised you to let go of these thoughts and the guilt, finally breaking free from that darkness by moving on. But you just couldnât and had stopped going to the sessions from then on. She hadnât understood the depths of your pain either - or so you had thought.
âMaybe,â Jaehyun started and removed his hand from yours to put it on your shoulder and shift you around to him instead. âYour baby didnât leave you. Maybe your baby just sensed it wasnât the right time and is waiting to come back to you when youâre ready again. Then, youâll see each other again.â
You cried even harder at this point, only slowly realizing that Jaehyun had his arms wrapped around you now, embracing you tightly. Somehow, you had missed someone like this throughout all the years of pain, someone who listened, who was willing to share your suffering, who made it all more durable. Someone who was finally seeing you and acknowledging the depths of your pain.Â
Had your lawyer been this person all along and it was meant for you to only find him now when you were ready for it?
âI like that thought,â you brought out under tears. âThat I will see my baby again.â
âAnd your baby will also see your family and friends. I will make sure of that.â
âJaehyunâŚâ He pressed your face against his chest and rested his chin on the top of your head, tenderly brushing over your hair.
âI still want to love you. With all your pain, all your scars. I still want to love you.â
This time, you believed him.
Even more so when you came back to the grave a few days later. You didnât want to run away anymore. If you freed your pain and didnât lock it away in an abandoned room, it would grow easier to be a part of your life. That was why you wanted to confront your darkness and pay visits to your babyâs grave more frequently.
⌠Only to find out that someone had been here shortly before you, leaving a bouquet of fresh lilies.
Jaehyun really wanted to love all of you, past and present.
____
âThese are the finished documents.â
Your divorce file was thick. You were sitting at Jaehyunâs desk and were only skimming over the first few pages. Every single paragraph was dissected and laid out very carefully, in every little detail so that no word could be misunderstood.Â
You didnât know why you had failed to pay attention to this before, but Jaehyun was incredibly intelligent and determined. He must have worked almost restlessly on these papers and had really meant it when he had said to hurry up with.
âWhatâs going to happen now?â you asked, hesitant to hear the answer.
âI will send this file to your husband and he will probably consult his own lawyer. Which is legally his right, even if he agrees on everything. Depending on how much he or his family wants to change, it will take months to⌠years negotiating, going back and forth.â
YearsâŚÂ
You had told Jaehyun to wait until you were a divorced woman. That much respect you still had for your husband, even though you had already taken off your wedding band. And truth to be told, you were still unsure about Jaehyun. It wasnât a decision you could make overnight at such a state, you had only loved one man in your life so far. Your next choice had to be the right choice, and how could you have already figured out if he was the right choice?
You didnât want to get married on and off, it wasnât supposed to be that easy, so you had to be as sure as possible. But then again, you had been fooled once by the love of a man close to your possible future loverâs age. How was it possible you werenât going to be alluded into a marriage by false promises and hopes again? You might be a bit older and wiser than back then, but did it also apply to your heart?
âThis is the toughest part,â Jaehyun continued explaining. "Negotiating. But I will always be by your side, remember that, I will accompany you on every step.â
You wondered whether negotiating with your husband or resisting your lawyer would be harder for you to do in the future.
âThen I will probably need a place to stay during the entire process. I should move to a hotel first and then go from there.â
âThere is no need,â Jaehyun dismissed and got up from his chair. âI have a place for you to stay.â
You tilted your head in confusion. âWhat do you mean?â
âLetâs go.â
You took his car and he drove to a part of the city, far outside of the bustling center, which you hadnât stepped foot in in years, even though it was close to your current neighborhood. This was where you had grown up, this was where you had spent the majority of your life. This was the area where your parents lived.
The car came to a stop right outside of your familyâs house.
âHere we are.â
You turned your head away from the window, the sight of your childhood home causing tears to well up behind your eyes. âIâm not supposed to come here, Jaehyun.â
âSays who?â
âThe contract.â
âThe contract is bullshit,â he blatantly called out. âWho would have even controlled whether you came here? No one. You could have come here all the time without anyone noticing, you know that. You just⌠didnât want to or couldnât bring yourself to. Am I right?â
He had called you out, and you couldnât close your ears from the truth much longer. He was right. No one had ever controlled you. Perhaps, they hadnât had to as by your mother-in-law, you had always been too weak to go against the rules. When you had grown out of this phase though, it was long too late to make amends.
âIn the beginning, my family and friends all tried to reach out to me. But whenever we talked, I only heard âYouâre too young to marry, donât do it!â, âCome home, you donât need to stay thereâ, and much more. I dismissed their words, I thought they werenât happy for me and didnât understand me. So I eventually cut off any form of communication which was aided by my mother-in-law taking away my phone after catching me calling my mother once. They never knew I was pregnant, I wasnât allowed to tell anyone. I had a new family who would take care of me, I didnât need them anymore. Until I was all alone at childbirth and knew I had made the wrong decision.â
âThe more you tell me about your in-laws, the bigger my desire grows to unalive them with my bare hands.â
You nervously kneaded your fingers, your gaze fixed on the movements. âIt was their form of manipulation, isolating me from everything and everyone that could change my mind and open my eyes to the truth. Eventually, my trauma had done the job. It also made me realize that I am the one to blame too. I could always reach out in other ways, but never did. With time, my guilt grew to such an extent that every form of reconnection would spiral me into much deeper guilt. So I gave up like they have given up on me. It was easier to think this way as I could never forgive myself for the things Iâve said and done.â
âBut theyâve never given up on you.â
You shrugged. âYou wouldnât know.â
âExcept that I do. Why else would we be here?â
Your head snapped up and you looked at Jaehyun, then outside of the window in the direction of your house where at the same moment, the entrance door opened, that much you could see over the high metal fence surrounding the garden.
âWhatâŚâ You were lost for words.
âLike you will never stop loving your child, your parents will never stop loving you too, no matter how many irrational decisions you make, no matter how many cruel things you say to them. You will always have their love,â Jaehyun explained slowly so that you could process at the same time. âA few days ago, I looked for them, drove here and explained the situation. But I left out a few important parts as it is entirely your story to tell them. I think you will have a lot to talk about in the upcoming days. Look, theyâre waiting for you already.â
It was at this moment that you realized that you had never experienced love in its purest form.
Until now.Â
And you werenât referring to your parents as that was another form of love, family love. You werenât referring to your friends either as that was platonic love. You certainly weren't referring to your husband either as that had turned out to only be conventional love.
You were referring to Jaehyun going through lengths to reconnect you with your family along with many other things. You suddenly werenât alone anymore. Life suddenly looked so bright and full of hope when you had someone to also share the happy moments with.
You werenât alluded by false hopes and promises. He was a man of words and actions unlike anyone you had ever met before. And if this wasnât true love, then what was? There was no guarantee, no glimpse into the future. There was only your heart following a path he shaped for you in the purest form possible, hoping that one day, you would return his feelings.
âJaehyun, I-â
âWait.â He cupped your face and smiled when you were facing each other. âIt can wait. Go to your parents first. Take your time. Then, you can come to me and tell me everything you want to tell me, alright?â
âThank you.â And these two words couldnât even express the entirety of gratitude you felt towards him, among so many other things.
He gave you a kiss on your forehead, then watched you open the door, walking towards your parents.
____
Jaehyun wasnât having a good day.Â
In fact, he hadnât had a good week altogether.
He was grumpy with his employees, sloppy with his files and overall not at the peak of his law-game. His assistant had to point out mistakes in the papers more than several times and was already overly annoyed before he said goodbye for the week, leaving Jaehyun alone in his office.
He missed you incredibly, and it was messing with his usually organized and cool head. Suddenly he caught himself by what he had been trying to avoid all along: emotions caused by love.Â
Jaehyun had known what it was the moment you went to the bar together, hair flying carefreely around your heated cheeks. Back then, he had only wished to keep the smile on your face forever, it suited you so much better than the stern and calculated look. Having you wrapped in his arms, he had been awake for the majority of the night that followed, thinking about how he could protect you from a world this cruel, a world that had treated you so unfairly all your life, causing you all this pain that nobody should ever endure.
Jaehyun had never been afraid to love, but afraid to admit that he was secretly looking for a lifelong love too, just like everyone else. After all, he was proven every day by wives consulting him that true love was just a misconception and people were mere life partners that eventually parted ways to look for someone new. His job was to break love, not to create it. And now he was finding himself in exactly that stateâŚ
⌠head over heels in love with a woman he never wanted to let go again. A woman whose absence drove him crazy, because every minute he was parted from her felt like a lifetime. Jaehyun certainly had been in love in the past, but he had never gone through these extents for someone outside of his profession.
It made him question his choice of occupation nowadays. And ironically enough, this train of thoughts led him to your husband of whose lawyer he hadnât heard anything at all. The divorce papers had certainly been delivered to him, but no one had reached out to him in return yet. He made it his mission to take care of this tomorrow.
From the corner of his eyes, Jaehyun saw his office door open and a person walking in, pulling him out of his thoughts. He was currently storing away some files and ready to head home as well.Â
âWeâre closed already, come back tomorrow and make an appointment with my secretary.â
âBut I need an appointment right now, Mr. Jeong.â
Jaehyunâs heart nearly jumped out of his chest in happiness when he heard your voice and shifted around. But the woman in front of him didnât have much in common with the woman who had intruded his office back then.
Instead of pant suits, pencil skirts and high heels, you were wearing a long flowy skirt, a matching blouse and flats. Your hair was falling loosely over your shoulders like the night in the bar, and Jaehyun was sure he had never seen you this beautiful and full of life before. And if it was possible, he loved you even more now.
He dropped the files on the desk and straightened his shoulders. âHow was the time with your parents?â he asked, reluctant as to what to do next. He didnât want to push you, even though there were a million other thoughts in his mind right now and none of them had anything to do with small talk.
âWe talked a lot. We cried a lot together, too,â you summarized for him, and he noticed that even your way of speaking had changed. You sounded more confident, but instead of it stemming from your insecurities, it rooted from deep and dripped with sincerity. âIt was good, taking a few days off to think about everything.â
âAnd to what conclusion did you come to?â Jaehyun didnât know why this question made him so nervous.
A faint smile tugged on the corners of your lips. âI came to the conclusion that time is too precious to be wasted, Jaehyun. Iâve lost so much time with my parents just because I was weak, and I wonât get it back, nor can I turn it back. I can only do the best with our remaining time from now on. But there is no way I will make this mistake of losing my time with someone I love again.â
Jaehyun took a deep breather, trying to keep his composure. âYou wanted to wait until your divorce, until you were sure.â
âI know.â You paused. âBut when I thought about what I would regret more⌠I just couldnât stand the thought of seeing you moving on, maybe with another woman. And it might be not in your book now, but how do we know what the future brings? I would only regret letting you go without even trying. I was never given a choice, but this, this is my choice. You gave me a choice. And I decided for this, I want this, Jaehyun.â
He cleared his throat and reached for his tie, loosening it a bit as he thought it currently cut off his breathing. âDo you know what youâre saying?â He took a stop towards you. âBe careful.â
You snickered - a tone that sounded like music in his ears - and took a step towards him as well.Â
âMr. Jeong, Iâm willing to play dirty in private as well. Where do I sign?â
____
Jaehyun wiped his desk free with one hand. Documents, pens, his notebook and even a lamp dropped to the floor, but luckily did not shatter. You let out a gasp, first because you got startled by his impulsive action, and then because he had picked you up and sat you on the desk.
You almost physically felt the electrifying tension between your faces that had built up over the past few weeks, and as your lips came crashing down on each other, it was like sparks flew into every direction to finally celebrate the release of all this pent-up desire.
Jaehyunâs lips were warm and soft, and very demanding. His hands were holding onto your face, angling you up to him as though he wanted you whole, taste, scent and all. Never in your life had you been kissed with so much passion and longing, being claimed in a way a woman could dream of.
You had been intimate only with your husband before, and where lovemaking with him was quiet, lukewarm and quite trite, the onset of the very same act with Jaehyun pushed up too high of what was ever possible in your sole imagination.Â
You were wild, fiery and loud. Oh, you could have never imagined to be that loud during the act. You threw your head back as Jaehyun kissed your neck, leaving wet trails where his lips passed. Letting out a moan, you spread your legs wider and pulled him close between your thighs. You chuckled silently when you felt him having grown so much already.
Goosebumps covered your legs as you felt him reaching under your skirt and pulling up the fabric. Jaehyunâs hands were roaming over your thighs, moving back and forth across your skin, and you simultaneously grew very hot in places you had long forgotten about. He tugged on the waistband of your panties, his fingers sliding between your folds and slowly rubbing there, causing you to catch your breath because of the intensity of the sensations.
Everything was going too slow for you now, and you wanted all of him all over you, inside of you. An inner voice was screaming desperately after him.
Suddenly, you halted.
âWhatâs wrong?â Jaehyun asked, worried.
âI⌠I donât know how this works anymore.â
âWhat do you mean?â
â... this. Is it silly?â
You drew your brows together, expecting to be laughed at, but Jaehyun just smiled mildly and tucked a strand of your loose hair behind your ear. How could you have ever thought heâd make fun of you? He never had.Â
âNothing is silly. You were just so into it, whatâs gotten into your mind?â
âI donât know if Iâm going to be⌠good. And I have⌠scars.â
You threw a meaningful gaze at him, hopeful heâd understand without many more explanations, and he did. You wouldnât be his chosen woman if you werenât still putting so many thoughts into one single action.Â
âYou still have problems to loosen up,â he concluded. âBut donât worry. If you trust me completely, it will all be fine and I will help you get your head free. So⌠do you trust me fully?â
It only took you a near-whispered âyesâ before he swept you off the desk and carried you, with your thighs tightly wrapped around his waist, to his couch. Not even a minute later, you found yourself with your skirt all draped around your hips and your panties hanging loosely on one of your feet.
You didnât see Jaehyunâs head anymore, only feeling his hair in a tight grip where your panties should have been, seeing stars dancing across the ceiling that you were currently facing while he ate you out like he had all the time in the world, sensually and delicately.
His tongue dragged along your folds that had long gotten wet the first time his mouth came close to your core. Gone were all your worries and doubts, there was no room to think about anything else than he way he was devouring you now, licking and sucking between your thighs until your eyes rolled back and his name fell from your lips like hurried prayers, interrupting his slurping sounds,
âJaehyun, Jaehyun, JaehyunâŚâ
You angled your knees as you felt something tightening inside your lower stomach that you couldnât pinpoint. It had first started off as a small spark, but was now coiling into something bigger that tugged on every fiber of your body. You were quite sure the fact that Jaehyun sucked on your clit and simultaneously thrusted his fingers inside of you was responsible for this indescribable feeling, more so when he grabbed you by your bare cheeks with his hands and pressed you against his mouth even stronger.Â
You had had orgasms before. At least that was what you had thought. They had come like a small wave, giving you a pleasant feeling and luring a silent sigh out of you, and that had been it. This orgasm right now though was on a whole other level.Â
Your whole body tensed up as though trying to protect itself from what was about to come, but no resistance in the world could withstand the persistence of the man who loved you to make you feel good. The coiled up sensation exploded inside of you the moment you thought you were going to die from endless pleasure, and then spread not only into your body, but also mind.Â
There was no control over how your body reacted, you held onto Jaehyunâs head like a lifeline with your head lolled back, and screamed his name as though in need for help, your body leaking fluids in places you would have been originally embarrassed for, but Jaehyun loved it, every single reaction he was able to lure out of you.
Underneath him didnât lie the uptight, suppressed woman anymore, in pantsuits and with no hair out of place. It was a new woman he had now unraveled, with wild hair, heated cheeks, liberated and eager to explore worlds she had never set foot into before. And he would guide her all the way into his world.
With a grin, Jaehyun wiped over his smudged mouth while you were still trying to catch your breath, but eventually returned his expression, ready for more. His fingers were trembling a bit when he first got rid of your skirt and then unbuttoned your flowy blouse.Â
A flash of concern ran through your face in the blink of a moment when he undid the last button, but he understood. He helped you out of the garment, and when you eventually laid back again in front of him, bare-chested and naked from head to toe, he saw.
Jaehyun left no room for you to mistrust him though. Undressing himself from head to toe first, he then kneeled in front of you on the cushion and leaned in. With warm fingers, he reached out to your lower abdomen and then gently touched the spot of which you had been so afraid to let him see.Â
But the c-section-scar was a part of you and Jaehyun loved every single bit. âYouâre so beautiful,â he let out, and you believed every single syllable.
He had you tightly embraced with your legs around his waist when he slowly but deliberately pushed into you. At first, it hurt quite a bit, because you hadnât had been this intimate in so long, but when it showed on your face with a frown, Jaehyun paused and made sure you still truly wanted this with soft kisses on your temple and mouth, so that the tightness vanished almost right away.
He was settled inside of you, thick, full, and pulsing, and even though this was so much for you to take already, you wanted him to move, needed him to move. When he didnât instantly do so though, you nearly embarrassingly pushed up against him and tried to get a tiny bit of gratification by yourself.
Jaehyun laughed lowly and kind of threateningly. âTake deep breaths first, because you are in for a long ride.â
You winced when he pulled out and only let his tip remain, because you feared he would stop right here, but then met him with a breathless gasp when he slammed back into you full force. It cost you all the air in your lungs, but you needed him to do it again as well, because it had hit a spot you had always been convinced had never existed for you in the first place.
But it did. And Jaehyun penetrated it with every thrust that he alternated between fast and shallow and slow and deep. The couchâs cushion got wet and sticky under you, and your screams only grew louder too, but you didnât mind and didnât care, especially not when he suddenly flipped you over and you were sitting on him, having him sheathed deep inside your core.
âYouâre so beautifulâ, Jaehyun repeated. He stretched out his hand and curled a lock of your hair between his fingers that he then slid down along your breast, scar and let it eventually rest on your hip. âRide me,â he then pleaded, âride me, please.â
Despite the fact that you had never done that before, the motions came to you naturally with the guidance of his grip around your waist. It felt good for you to decide how deep and in which angle you wanted to have him, and as you were sliding along him, you felt another orgasm nearing that you unfortunately failed to chase.
âOut of breath?â Jaehyun asked, lids heavy after enjoying this sight too much.
âI want to cum again,â you confessed, âbut somehowâŚâ
Jaehyun returned to his former position, but this time, placed either of your legs across his left and right shoulder. You didnât know what else he was doing, but when he filled you all up from the inside again, you were feeling him so deeply and intensely like never before.Â
The second orgasm for this day found its root not in the pit of your stomach, but feeded on every inch of your body, so that it was an experience that left you shaking with all limbs, Jaehyun following along in long spurts across your stomach.Â
âIâve never imagined sex to be like this,â you admitted when you laid in his arms shortly later, a thin blanket draped over you. The office had long closed.Â
âLike what?â Jaehyun asked and kissed your temple.
âSo good.â
He laughed and pulled you closer to him. âThat was not even my best performance yet, trust me.â
You opened your mouth in wonder. âYou can do it even better? I can hardly believe it.â
âYou want to try?â he challenged. âDonât worry, we have all the time in the world to try out everything you want.â
âOkay,â you agreed. âAll the time in the world, for sure. But maybe we can still start with it tonight. You never know-â
You didnât have to call out to him twice before he disappeared under the blanket.
____
âI must say, Iâm impressed. I didnât expect this from you.â
The photos landed in front of your feet.
They showed everything.
Jaehyun and you entering your home dressed all in black, Jaehyun and you leaving the bar together, Jaehyun and you in the car in front of your parentsâ house, Jaehyun and you coming out of his office at different occasions. There were even photos from yesterday after you both hadâŚ
You stood in the living room, petrified, not even your eyes were able to move to look directly at the person that was approaching you.
âYou must wonder how much truth someone can spill when you just offer them more bribery money than the original party,â your mother-in-law said. âNeedless to say, the security guard no longer needs his job here after providing me with the respective videos. And the rest was the dedicated work of my private detective. I sensed that something was off and hired him shortly after reading the police report on the seeming robbery.â
When you eventually lifted up your head, she stood there, looking at you with much disgust. It was at that moment that you realized you lost. She was holding the divorce papers in her hands. They had never reached your husband first, but had directly landed in her hands instead.Â
âI donât care,â you sighed deeply. âI donât care anymore. I will sign anything, I am willing to lose everything. Just⌠let me go. Please, just let me go.â
You didnât want the money, you didnât need it. Money would come back, but time didnât, and every bit of energy you still invested in this family felt like you were losing a bit of your lifespan. You just wanted to leave and live a life dedicated to your loved ones from now on.Â
âFine.â You halted, waiting for her to continue as you could almost not believe what she had just said. It couldnât be so easy. âI am willing to let you out of this marriage, under one condition.â
Of course there would be. âWhat?â
âIâve dedicated my entire life to keeping this family together,â she elaborated, âand my hard work paid off when I married off my first son well, making him the CEO of the conglomerate at the same time. My second one⌠well, he was always a little too spoiled and never under as much pressure as his older brother. But I let it pass, because as long as our reputation didnât get stained, I wouldnât look at it twice. I now wish I had as he only grew foolish and reckless. How else would he have gotten the idea of falling in love and getting an almost teenager pregnant out of wedlock?â
âThis fact, we can agree on. But it was your fault that he grew up the way he is now,â you stated in defense. âHe has never learned to deal with emotions, and whenever problems occurred, you were there to clean it all up regardless of the people getting hurt along the way. It was partially your familyâs responsibility to make sure I was taken care of accordingly. The moment we married, I was your responsibility, too.â
Your mother-in-law screwed up her nose. âI did take care of these things my way.â
âAnd they were wrong!â you raised your voice, hoping that somehow, you could still speak some sense into her. âYou pressured me to sign a contract of which its repercussions I could not have known at that time yet. It was my right to consult a lawyer, but I was never given a choice just like your son has never been given a choice. I was only nineteen and stripped of all my future!â
âA child out of wedlock would have destroyed everything Iâve worked so hard for,â she pressed through her gritted teeth, reluctant to admit this. âI did it all to protect my family!â
You shook your head. âAnd look at that family now. Was it all worth it? Was it worth the life youâre living right now?â
She didnât know the answer to that apparently. âIf you had only borne that child like my son wanted so desperately too, the problems would have all dissolved themselves. I would have endured you. Maybe you could have been a happy little family after all. But even for that, you were too weak.â
It stung. The insults pierced right through your heart, but you remembered Jaehyunâs words, and only grew from there. âNo, we wouldnât have been. I would have taken the child and filed for a divorce nonetheless, I know that now.â
âYou ungrateful brat!â the elderly woman suddenly yelled. âDo you know how many girls out there would trade places with you? Youâve gotten everything someone could ever ask for, and for you itâs not enough!â
âBecause there is more to this world than money and reputation!â you screamed back. âItâs not my fault you have failed to see it while you still had a choice, too!â
You were never able to forgive her, that much was true. But somewhere under her hard facade, you were sure, was hiding a young woman who had once dreamed big too. A young woman your age, who had dreamed of the love of her life and her own business. A young woman, who had been robbed of these dreams way too early and had never been given a choice either.
But that young woman had failed to escape as long as she still was able to, and got replaced by a monster that couldnât figure its way out anymore, too entangled in a vicious circle that got passed on from generation to generation.
You wanted to break the circle and make your own choices. Perhaps, if you hadnât gone through the past two years, you wouldnât have had enough courage to feel like this now. Perhaps, if you hadnât gone through the past two years, you would have turned out like her.
The trauma had made you weak, but also much stronger at the same time. You still didnât understand, but in some way, you were grateful.
And the fact that you were now able to walk away was the reason you would always and forever remain superior to your mother-in-law.
âYou must really love that lawyer of yours,â she eventually broke through your thoughts. âI just wonder how far you are willing to go for him to fulfill your condition?â
____
âDid you get your important papers?â Jaehyun happily greeted you when he opened the door to his office. âYouâre back so early, is everything okay?â
The moment you hurried in his direction, he immediately knew that something was wrong. He put his index finger under your chin and angled up your head. The way your entire world shattered when he forced you to hold your gaze indicated that nothing would ever be okay again.Â
âYou have to leave, Jaehyun,â you insisted and grabbed onto his arms. âRight now.â
He didnât ask any questions, but trusted you fully on that. âOkay, let me just get my-â
âNo.â You shook your head. âThe country. You have to leave the country immediately.â
Now, he was stunned. âI donât understand.â
âMy mother-in-law knows everything,â you uttered with a trembling voice. You told him about all the bribery and the detective, and eventually about her ultimatum. âShe has collected a record of illegal activities reported against you, and she will go to the police with all of it to file a charge of your criminal activities. They have connections there, Jaehyun. She promised me if she wants, she will get you in jail. Is it true? Everything on the list?â
You recited a few bullet points you had been able to remember in a whim the short moment she was holding the paper in front of you. You directly saw it in his eyes, that fact that everything was as bad as it sounded. Robbery, data corruption, forgery, lying in front of the court⌠you named it.
âOh godâŚâ You needed a moment and sat down on the couch. âJaehyun, she can really put you in jail!â
âThen Iâll leave the country!â he instantly caved. âWe can live in New York or LA instead. Iâll book the next flight, we donât need anything. We will just start anew.â
But by your expression alone, he understood that this was only wishful, silly thinking. Only one of you could be free, and you werenât willing to trade his freedom for yours. He had always been free, you had always been caged. You didnât rob the person you loved of their freedom like your husband had done.
âNo⌠Donât make that face. Youâre not gonna stay married to him.â
âJaehyunâŚâ
He sank on his knees in front of you, taking your hands into his. âThen I will go to jail if it means you can get divorced to your advantage. How many years can I get anyway? I did many things wrong in the past and I donât want to be this kind of person anymore. I will legally atone for my crimes. If it means that youâre going to be free and live a happy life, then I am willing to do so.â
âI wonât ever be able to live a happy life if it is without you. I donât care about my money or my business anymore, Jaehyun. It will all come back, I still have time for this stuff. None of these matter now. What I care about is you. I wonât allow them to take you away from me. They took so much from me already. I canât lose you too and rip you of your future and prospects like they did with me. Itâs not worth it.â
âBut Iâm worth it?â he asked breathlessly. âHow do you know? How do you know you wonât regret everything again?â
You wrapped your fingers around his neck and pulled him nearer to you. âBecause you were willing to understand my pain and connect to my past. Because you left flowers on my babyâs grave and reunited me with my family. Because without you, I wouldnât have had the courage to do all this. Nobody has ever gone through such lengths for me. If this is not true love, then I donât want to live in a world this deluded.â You pressed your forehead against his. âAnd because I truly love you too, Jaehyun, I am willing to sacrifice this all.â
He reluctantly added, âThere is another way out⌠There must be.â
There was a hint of a faint smile on your face. âThere is not.â
âThere is always!â he opposed, almost desperately.
Jaehyun sank onto the cushion next to you and buried his face in his palms. Was that what defeat felt like? He had expected it to hit him hard and knock him off his feet like a wave. Instead, defeat felt like drowning. Slow, torturous drowning.
âPerhaps, but not now, not for us. If only we had been given a bit more time⌠But I was selfish and pushed too far, and if you donât leave the country now, you will go to jail. And if I leave with you, then all my beloved ones will pay the price, too. The damage would be more collateral. I cannot allow this to happen, so I will stay.â
âPromise me you wonât stop fighting.â He looked at you through heavy-lidded eyes. âThat you will still fight for your freedom with every help you can get. Promise me you will never give up.â
You were trying so hard to keep your composure, but ultimately all your walls broke and you were crying hot tears in Jaehyunâs arms. He held you tightly for what might be the last time ever as you repeated,
âI will keep fighting.â
____
Jaehyun had made a decision.Â
For that decision, he was currently collecting every tiny piece of evidence possible from his entire career as a divorce attorney.Â
He had always been very structured, detailed and thorough with his records, which was why it didnât take him long to find stuff that would be enough to lock him up for years. And he kept digging so as to not leave room for the police to find more than he would hand over. If he came clear with everything and turned himself in, punishment wouldnât be so hard and he could see you again in a few years time.Â
You didnât want this, he knew, but in a hopeless situation, this was the scenario that was the most hopeful.
Ironically, Jaehyun thought to himself, he had never been a person full of hope before meeting you.
âCan I come in?â
A monotonous male voice interrupted him, and he absent-mindedly answered, âIâm busy and weâre already out of the office hours. Come back tomorrow.â
âI just assumed you might want to read through these papers right now, checking whether I signed everything right.â
Jaehyun had never heard your husbandâs voice in real life before, but now that he had and looked up from his desk, he found it really matched his face. It was dull and boring, even though he was a conventionally good-looking, well groomed man in his early thirties - that much he was able to judge objectively considering he hated him to the core.
âI donât know whether youâre stupid or brave coming here,â Jaehyun said coldly. âIâll just freely assume itâs both.â
Mr. Kang let a bag, that Jaehyun only noticed now, drop on the floor, not reacting to his taunt at all. By your stories alone, he already got the impression that your husband wasnât a man of many words⌠or emotions and expression at all.Â
âInside here are a few clothes, her documents, ID and passport. She wanted to get these this morning, right? And here are the signed divorce papers.â He dropped the staple on Jaehyunâs desk. âIâve already consulted my lawyer. Whatever sheâs asking for, she will get. I will agree on everything.â
Jaehyun drew the paper across the surface closer to him. He turned a few pages and realized that no alterations had been made so far. And Mr. Kangâs signature was right there as well.
âWhere did you get this?â
âWhat my mother has gotten into her hands was a mere copy. The original documents had been handed over to me by the messenger the same day you had sent them out. I apologize that it took me so long. It was a decision easily made, but not easy to get through with my family. But my brother was very supportive and still is. My mother on the other hand, not so much when she will find out tomorrow. Iâll deal with it.â
Jaehyun closed the documents again and heaved up his head. âSo⌠thatâs all?â
âNo.â Mr. Kang quietly shook his head, continuing with his initial monotonous tone, âI cannot prevent her from filing a police report against you, and knowing her, she will directly do so first thing in the morning when I confront her with the facts. Thatâs why you have to make haste and leave the country. Here.â He placed a very obvious plane ticket on the desk that was booked under Jaehyunâs name, dated for today still.
It was not the first time Jaehyun was hearing these words, yet he stood by his decision. âI wonât leave like a coward. I will cooperate and get the punishment I deserve.â
âYou donât know what youâre getting yourself into,â Mr. Kang said, a little more emotion in his voice now. âDo you think when you get released, it will all be over? Itâs only going to start from then on. You will not only lose your practice license, but everyone dear to you too. You will never have a day of peace, and therefore, she wonât either. You donât want that life for her.â
Again, Jaehyun felt hopelessness choking him. He was willing to suffer the rest of his life for all of his wrongdoings if he must. He just didnât want to drag you down with him. âWhat should I do?â
âGo far, far away from here. Donât leave any trace and wait until the divorce is finalized until you let her come to you. I guess you have partners or assistants that can take over the legal parts for you in your firm. Anyway, I will make sure we will push through with the contract that you have set up.â
Jaehyun knew this was the silver lining in a near desperate situation. âCan I still tell her goodbye?â
âIf you want to ever see her again, then you must leave right now. The plane departs at midnight.â
âHow do I know I can trust your words?â
âIndeed, there is no way you can. But you don't have a choice.â
âCan I at least trust you to make sure she will be alright until she can come to me?â
âYes,â Mr. Kang confirmed, and for the first time, Jaehyun could make out a clear expression etched into his face. Relief? âAfter all, I have given her a promise at our wedding. I will keep her safe until itâs all over. Youâre not the only one, I want to atone for all my mistakes too. I just want you to know that I have truly loved her. I just wasnât capable of showing up when I was needed. So Iâm happy for her that someone is now.â
âI think this is something you have to tell her in person yourself. And many more things, probably.â
Mr. Kang nodded.Â
It was not Jaehyunâs place to judge other peopleâs relationships. What you had truly felt for each other at one point in your lives, it was up to you both to make out with yourselves - or not. Jaehyun just didnât want you to hurt any longer. Everything else was irrelevant to him.
âDonât expect a thank you, Mr. Kang.â
âIâm not. Iâm not expecting anything from you, Mr. Jeong.â
Jaehyun hurriedly grabbed the most important documents from his desk and the shelves all while preparing to drop by at his home real quick to pick up his passport. âCan you tell her something from me? Or not⌠whatever you want to do.â He had seldomly felt so at a loss for the right words. âIf you are willing to pass on my message though⌠She will arrive here soon and I need to be gone by then... Tell her to not come and say goodbye. I will contact her when itâs safe. I hope it wonât take long.â
âThis, I will do,â he confirmed. âFor her.â
____
Jaehyun had only packed a small bag with a few clothing pieces, some cash and important documents, nothing more. The papers he was taking with him included a specific file that gave him access to a secret bank account in another country into which he had booked different amounts of money any time he won a case. It wasnât as much as his real asset, but it came close and was definitely enough to start anew somewhere else.Â
âDo you carry any liquids in your bag, sir?â
Jaehyun shook his head. He had already put his bag and jacket on the tray, patting his pockets one last time to look for remaining items he still had to get rid of before passing the security.
âJaehyun!â
Brushing it off as an intrusive thought, he continued with his motions, until he heard again, this time from a clearly familiar voice,
âJEONG JAEHYUN! HOW DARE YOU!â
When he turned around, he caught you verbally fighting with the employees who checked the board pass before passengers moved on to the security. âLet me go, I have to talk to that person!â
âYou need a ticket to pass through here, maâam,â one of them carefully explained to you, flinching any time you made a move as he surely couldnât estimate your outburst.
âFine! Then Iâll buy one! Hurry up!â
âTo buy a ticket, you have to go the counter and-â
âI donât have time for that. Jaehyun!â
He didnât have enough time to process everything of the scenario that was now unfolding in his sight. You really dared to push one employee aside who then stumbled into the other oneâs arms. And before they could catch onto what was currently happening to them, you had already dropped your purse, gripped the railing with two hands and just jumped over the barricade like it was nothing.Â
In the background, Jaehyun perceived how the employees slowly caught onto the happenings after the initial shock and apparently called for backup with their walkie-talkies. Luckily, the TSA hadnât caught wind of your unruly behavior yet as both sections were partially separated by walls, so Jaehyun left everything on the tray behind and ran towards you as you were doing the same.Â
Quickly, he grabbed your hand and dragged you to one corner of the hall, right between these two airport sections, where it would take either party the longest time to arrive.
âWhy are you here?â Jaehyun asked, nearly out of breath when you came to a standstill. âYouâre supposed to pick up your bag from my office and go to your parentsâ house!â
âI know but I couldnât!â You squeezed his hand. âYou were really going to leave without giving me a chance to say goodbye? How dare you!â
âIâm sorry, I justâŚâ Only when he was at the check-in, it had dawned on him that he had made the wrong decision. Even if your husband had warned him, he should have taken that risk. That much, you owed the person you loved. âIâm just not good at saying goodbye. I didnât know what to say⌠even now, I donât know.â
âPlease donât do this! Donât strip me of my choice! Not you too!â
Jaehuyn shook his head and cupped your face. âI would never do that! I would have called or texted you right when I arrived. Even if it was risky. I just cannot bear⌠yeah, this. I didnât want to see you cry again. This time itâs my fault.â
With his thumbs, he brushed over your cheeks, wiping away your tears. From the corners of his eyes, he already saw the fetched security arriving at the section, looking in your direction. There was not much time left anymore.
âThis is my choice,â you said under tears. âYou are my choice. And if you donât come back, Jaehyun, I will fly over there myself, are we in the clear?â
He chuckled and you cracked a faint smile as well. âI believe you. I donât think we need a contract for that. It may take a bit of time⌠so will you wait for me?â
âI will always wait for you. Thatâs what I said, right? I will wait for my true love, no matter how much time it takes. Just please, if you can, donât take too long.â
Jaehyun wrapped his arms around you and pressed you against his chest. The security was already approaching you, but they werenât running, possibly because they had already sensed there was no danger radiating from you. Just two people in love who needed to say one last goodbye to each other.
âIâll hurry up,â he muttered into your hair and placed a kiss on your parting. âIn the meantime, go back to university, get your degree and work hard for your business, but donât forget to live your life, too. I want to return in time for your graduation ceremony.â
âJaehyunâŚâ You looked up to him with big, tear-filled eyes. âThen I will work hard so that it wonât take long.â
Eventually, the security reached them. âMaâam, we have to kindly ask you to leave.âÂ
Jaehyun let go of you before the two security men would drag you away from him themselves, and you unwillingly let him. âI promise Iâll be there!â
âI rely on your word!â you were still able to say before following the security out. âI love you!â
âI love you too.â
____
Police investigations started shortly after Jaehyun landed in the US. They were looking for him the next two years, and you had to stay apart for just as long.
He missed the moment you finalized your divorce after a year.
He missed the moment you re-entered university that same year.
He missed the moment you graduated with your degree a year later.
He missed every single important moment in your life.
____
âGRAND OPENINGâ
was written on the fancy border that hung over the entrance door to your small shop.Â
You hadnât expected for five people to already show up at the opening hour sharp, but you were well prepared and handed them a glass of champagne each. You walked them around, presenting to them a few of your hand-picked pieces.
There were gowns with reserved, classic cuts, more elaborate gowns with a lot of tulle, short skirts, long sleeved dresses, tight and wide dresses, and a broad selection of accessories like veils and gloves in addition.
âMy heart lies within this shop,â you explained to the group of women. âI want to gather as many different styles as possible to suit everyoneâs preferences. After all, itâs going to be the happiest day of your life, and you shouldnât only look beautiful, but also feel comfortable. Whatever you want to add or alternate on your overall look, me and my team will accommodate that. Please feel free to look around and call for me if you need my assistance.â
You moved behind the counter and looked excitedly at your first possible customers, being happy to share this day with the people special to you too as later on, your family and friends would pay you a visit for the official opening party.Â
There was always one person missing though, and whenever you thought of it, your heart got so heavy.
The opening of your own bridal shop was another milestone in your life that Jaehyun was missing. Even though two months ago it was announced that the Aewha Group had gone bankrupt because of a tax fraud having been committed over the years, he had still deemed it unsafe to return and wanted to wait a bit more.Â
You wondered why and slowly grew impatient as the police had already stopped pushing the case forward because of the lack of evidence as almost no one wanted to testify against him. Since the Aewha Group was now down as well and the owners had a fair share of other, graver problems to deal with, you had proposed to him to come pay you a visit.
âItâs too dangerous,â Jaehyun had said.
âThen Iâll come!âÂ
Again, he had said, âYou donât have to. Soon, I can return.â
But when was âsoonâ anyway as heâd been saying it for a year already?
In secret, you had already bought a plane ticket to California for next month. Two years had already passed in which you couldnât see each other, and if it continued, then you would be the one to go to jail for other reasons, you knew that, and those reasons included kidnapping the man you loved.
After an entire day of working where you had been successful to make fitting appointments with three bridal groups, it was time for the opening party. You saw your parents, grandparents, friends and other acquaintances, not only from the past, but also from the last two years, walk into your shop, gazing at the garments and celebrating with you.
There were beverages and snacks being served, everyone was dressed up and music was playing in the background. It was a gathering among the people close to you to celebrate the success you had been working so hard for the past two years.
You knew that, if you hadnât met a certain person, you wouldnât be standing here right now, giving a speech to your loved ones. But after all the trauma and pain, you were here, bright and successful with a future just as promising.
You just wished the person you were the most grateful for could have joined as well.
âThank you so much for coming and celebrating with me. Please enjoy tonight,â you ended your speech.
âThere is something I have to say too,â someone said in the background, and the hair on your neck suddenly stood up. âActually, there is so much I have to say, but I will try to keep it short.â
Only after a few seconds, you were able to break through the petrification. From the corner of your peripheral, you saw your friends giggling and your parents looking at you lovingly. Before you met his gaze eventually, tears already started to burn on the rim of your eyes.Â
You felt his warm hand on your naked arm, his fingers slowly sliding down to intertwine with yours. It had been so long since you had last seen each other in person, but as you now stood in front of Jaehyun, it felt like no time had passed at all.
He was just as handsome and well built as two years ago. If anything, he looked even better. Maturity suited him so well. He was smiling at you, but you couldnât bring yourself to mirror his expression with the same intensity, because different emotions washed over you all at once, so that you didnât know how to feel at first.
You wanted to get angry at him and yell at him why it had taken him so long.
You wanted to wrap your arms around his neck and have him hold you tightly.
You wanted to kiss him deeply and get undressed to feel every inch of him.
In the end, you didnât do anything but start crying. It was all just too much.
âWhy are you here?â you asked, still believing it was all not real.
You felt him squeezing your fingers. âI just couldnât miss another milestone of yours.â
âWhy did it take you so long?â
âThere were a few things I needed to sort out before I could return. Finding someone to take over my law office, for example. Just the formals.â
âWhy didnât you tell me, you idiot? I bought a ticket for next month!â
He threw his head back and laughed. âThatâs what I sensed and came here as fast as possible.â
âHow long are you going to stay?â you sniffed.
âThis time, I hope forever.â You saw him move in your blurry vision and blinked through your tears. Or better say, you saw it blinking in front of your eyes as he was holding a ring in front of you. âIf you let me be your husband, of course. So⌠will you? Will you accept me as your husband?â
You pouted. âWhere are we going to live?â
âHere, of course.â
âAnd youâre not on the run anymore?â
âI will only do stuff according to ethics, morals and the law.â
âCan I plan the wedding myself?â
At this point, you were only teasing him, but after what he had put you through, he let you. âYou can do whatever you want, I will say yes to everything my wife says.â
âVery well.â You paused. âUnder one condition.â
âHm?â
Then, you broke into a wide smile. Those tears on your face had always only been happy tears. âWe will never set up a prenup.â
âOf course,â Jaehyun agreed. âBecause we will never get divorced anyway.â
Then, you finally fell into his arms and kissed him deeply. It was like two missing pieces coming together, a surge of complete bliss streaming through your bodies the moment your lips met. This, this was it. This was what it must feel like to finally be with your true love. You never wanted to be apart again.Â
The ring looked beautiful on your finger, and as you both turned around to show it to your guests, you saw in their reactions that they had been let in on the planned happenings of this night quite a while ago.Â
Your opening party had magically turned into your engagement party.
#jaehyun#jeong jaehyun#nct#nct 127#jaehyun smut#jaehyun imagines#jaehyun scenarios#jaehyun x reader#jaehyun x you#nct smut#nct imagines#nct scenarios#nct x reader#nct x you#nct 127 smut#nct 127 scenarios#nct 127 imagines#nct 127 x you#nct 127 x reader#kpop imagines#kpop scenarios
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Arcane Newswatch - Day 1085: Farewell
After 1085 days of waiting, 573 days of it tracked by this account, Arcane has returned. With that, the count is finally finished and there is nothing left but to say farewell. I thank you all, everyone who liked and reblogged and sent the asks that helped me break up the monotony of posting the same picture every single day; I wonât lie, there were some tough and exceptionally boring stretches, especially there in the Day 700 range, but you all helped me power through and make it to the end. Also, Iâd like to extend a collective thank you for all the kind messages sent to the inbox over the last couple days. While thereâs a few too many to respond to, Iâve read every one of them and it truly means a lot to me
Iâll be leaving this blog open, a time capsule of sorts for however long Tumblr exists as a platform. But barring a surprise season 3 announcement from Riot one day, this is where we must say goodbye. Itâs never easy to shut the lights off and lock the door on the way out, especially for something as relatively long-running as this turned out to be (I earnestly believed Arcane was returning in a year or less when I started this in April 2023), but the time has finally come. If you wish to follow my other, equally obsessive Arcane works (and if you can forgive me for a bit of self-promotion), my fics can be found on AO3 under NatDammit. But regardless of whether we meet again in the comments section of one fic or another, or if this is indeed our final goodbye, I hope you all enjoy the new season and I wish you all the best. Thanks for coming along for the ride
This is Nat from Arcane Newswatch, signing off
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YOU'VE GOT TO LEARN
Pairing: Joel Miller x Fem!Reader
Tags: extremely dubious consent, non-con elements, explicit sexual content, exhibitionism, age gap, established relationship, jealousy, possessive!joel, softdom!joel, unprotected sex, alcohol, hair pulling
Length: 3.3K
Summary: At a client's house party, you catch yourself getting jealous of other eyes on Joel. Joel pulls you aside to show you exactly what he thinks of that.
This is my first time writing for Joel Miller, so please go easy on me <3
âââ
What is it about Joel that makes him most attractive when he's stuck somewhere he doesn't want to be?
You tip back the last of your whiskey sour, gazing at the tight creases in the corners of his eyes as he nods along with the blond guy who's been talking for twenty painful minutes about the crypto market. Joel is leaning back, arms folded over his chest, his big shoulders pushing at the seams of his denim shirt.
He once told you that no one besides you could tell his emotions on his face. You'd laughed and called bullshit at the time, telling him every thought in that pretty head of his showed up plain as day on his face, but right now it doesn't seem to matter. He's been looking like he'd swallowed glass since this guy started talking, and it doesn't seem to make a bit of difference to him.
When Joel had asked if you wanted to come along to the holiday party one of his clients was having at his house, you'd said yes even after hearing that the guy was 'kind of an idiot' and you'd probably be 'bored to tears'. Joel would have skipped it, but unfortunately it was one of his biggest clients, and the invitation wasn't one he could politely decline.
Right now, though, you're sort of wishing you'd listened to him. The party stopped being fun somewhere around the second MLM scheme that had been pitched to you, and you're now counting the minutes until you'll hit the mark Joel set on the drive there: "Least a couple hours - then we can head out."
The guy takes a short pause, then launches into another tirade on bitcoin, and you realize you're going to need another drink to get through it. Joel's arm slips from around your waist as you pull away.
"Be right back, fellas. I'm going to get a refill."
Joel's brows lift as you leave him behind. "Now hold on there. Wouldn't be much of a gentleman if I let you get your own drink-"
You wave him off, trying to hold in a smirk. "No really, I need to take a lap. Stretch my legs."
He licks his lips, looks off to the side for a second before calling after you, "Grab me one on your way back, will ya?"
You smile innocently. "You got it."
After your host declines your offer to get him something, you head to the kitchen, making a little chit chat on your way to the well-stocked fridge. You decide to get Joel's beer before you return to the open bar to ask for another drink of your own. You hook your knuckles around the neck of a Modelo, no sooner closing the door to the fridge before you glance back in Joel's direction, seeing he's been joined by a few more people.
It isn't surprising. Joel's the type of guy who tends to draw attention, and not just because of his looks. He's the guy who's in charge, even when he's not in charge. People gravitate toward him; just something about his presence that makes him the most interesting thing in every room.
In spite of that, your attention isn't on him at the moment. It's on the girl making moon eyes beside him. She's tossing a long, shiny ponytail behind her shoulder and grinning ear to ear despite the fact that bitcoin boy hasn't stopped talking.
Picking up a bottle opener, you pop the cap off the beer in your hand by muscle memory, not able to tear your eyes off of them. Joel's attention is still on the host, but when she says something to him, you watch him pull his chin back to nod, holding her in the corner of his eye to give a quick smile.
Kelly, you remember. That's her name. She's the receptionist at the client's office, and she's probably seen more of Joel this month than you have.
You watch as she cranks up her smile another thousand watts, laughing at something one of the other guys in the group has said. Kelly, you think. No. Probably spells it with an i. Kelli. Probably dots it with a heart.
Your face is starting to warm up, and when someone on the other side of the kitchen counter gently asks if you're alright, you clear your throat, then reply that you're fine as you quickly open the fridge for a second Modelo. It's time for you to slow down on the whiskey.
As you make your way back to the group, you catch Kelly/Kelli's eyes and give her a subdued smile. She blinks and smiles back, suddenly looking very shy.
"Now what did I miss?" you ask, when the men dissolve into laughter.
Henry, one of the contractors under Joel, shakes his head. "It ain't worth repeating in the presence of a lady."
The host interjects, "So what do you call Kelly?"
Henry puts an arm around her shoulder. "Aw, she's heard it all before, haven'tcha?"
"That don't mean she wants to hear it from you!" one of the other men shouts, and there's another round of laughter while you bite your lip, watching Joel's eyes as they dip to Henry's arm.
You wrap your lips around the tip of the bottle in your hand, letting the taste of the beer give your mouth an excuse to look sour. Henry's hand is dropping from Kelly's shoulder down to her waist, and while the conversation carries on, Joel leans in close so that only Henry - and you - can hear.
"Cool it, Henry."
"Huh?" comes the slow reply, as he pretends not to have understood him.
Joel just lifts his brows, and that's all it takes for Henry to back off, looking a little sheepish as he unwinds himself from Kelly, who looks more than a little relieved.
Henry turns to you, suddenly trying to make small talk, to save face. "Have you two met? This's our girl Kelly. She takes good care of us, don'tcha, sweetheart?"
You give a polite smile. "We've met. Nice to see you, again. Both of you."
"Uh huh," Henry answers half-heartedly before he wanders off, perhaps to join another conversation, or just to find another drink.
Kelly gives you another polite smile, then as the host starts to back away, bringing the rest of the group with him, she goes along with the crowd. Before she leaves, though, she softly murmurs to Joel, "Thanks for that."
He answers with a stiff nod, but it's more than enough to put the stars back in her eyes as she walks away, leaving the two of you alone.
You're biting your lip again, practically chewing on it, as you dangle Joel's beer by the throat, handing it over to him.
"Thank you," he says, then tips it back immediately.
You don't reply, lost in thought, but pretending nonchalance as you watch the group leave.
"Meant what I said, though," Joel adds in your silence. "Shoulda let me get it. I don't like to have you wanderin' around on your own. Not with this bunch of degenerates."
You smirk. "What, like Henry?"
"For one, yeah," he says, turning to face you now that the sounds of the party are fading into the background. "Lookin' the way you do, won't be able to keep their eyes or their hands off ya."
You laugh him off, but can't pretend that his voice isn't settling right in the bottom of your stomach. He's standing a little closer, now, and you can smell the alcohol on his breath, mixed with the spice of his cologne. Something about him talking this way puts some boldness into you, and your words come out a bit more reckless than they should.
"Well, maybe you should have asked Kelly to get your drink, then."
He looks dumbfounded for a moment, and you widen your smile to show you're joking.
"I mean, I'm sure she would have," you go on, digging yourself deeper even as your heart kicks up faster. If you'd switched to beer two drinks ago, you probably would have explained yourself better. You would have insisted it was just a joke, because she so clearly has a crush on him. But your words are just swimming in all that whiskey.
"Cute little thing like that," you say, shrugging. "Probably don't mind her 'taking care of you', do ya?"
Joel's eyes are fixed on you, voice easing down into his chest when he asks softly, warningly, "What did you just say?"
He's turned all the way toward you, and all at once the room feels so much smaller, your face so much hotter. He's waiting for an answer, and your breath is caught high in your throat. "I-uh... it was just... nothing."
He's very slowly setting down his beer, looking down to a side table. "Wasn't nothing; I heard it." He looks back up at you, pinning you hard where you stand. "Now repeat it. Wanna make sure I heard you right."
You swallow, mouth dry. "I nn-nothing, I just said..." You force a crooked smile that you know he isn't buying for a second. "Y'know... she's- she's pretty cute, and maybe you... maybe she oughta... 'cause maybe you want her to..."
Your babbling doesn't impress him. He's just staring at you under a darkened brow. He opens his mouth to say something, but the motion of someone else entering the room catches your eye and you snap defensively before he can say anything.
"Joel, I didn't mean-"
He follows your gaze, then turns away and shuts you up with a wide, heavy palm sliding to the small of your back. "C'mere," he says. "C'mon." And the way he breathes it as he guides you out of the room and down the hall, you don't argue.
He finds a bathroom and pushes you inside. While you're looking over his shoulder to make sure no one sees you going in together, he's staring straight ahead, and he closes the door with one hand, still holding you with the other.
"I'm... sorry," you confess as soon as the door closes. "That was stupid. I don't know why I said it."
"Yeah," he grunts, crowding you up against the closed door. "You do."
The way he has you held close, arm around your waist and words warm against your mouth, you'd normally try to kiss him right about now. But looking into his eyes, you know there's no kiss waiting for you on his lips.
He's mad, and you're a little scared. Not scared of him, but scared of what he might do at a party where people might hear. People that he has to work with on Monday.
He isn't drunk, but he's had a few, and your fear ratchets up when his hand slides to your backside, gripping your ass and kneading it as he growls, "You think I give a goddamn about some teenager?"
Despite the way he's manhandling you through your dress, you can't help but roll your eyes. "She's not a teenager."
She isn't really that much younger than you are. And with Joel in his fifties, the thought has crossed your mind that he might just be keeping you around because he got a thing for younger women. You'd just never said anything out loud. Until tonight.
He stops, pulls back. "Alright, guess I'm not bein' clear enough."
He takes you by both arms, pushes you against the sink so you're looking at yourself in the mirror. Behind you, he starts unbuckling his belt.
"Joel..." you whisper, heat pulsing through you just from the sound of the metal clinking. You know you should ask him to stop - is the door even fucking locked? - but you can't get any other words out besides his name.
He slides a hand under your dress, pushing it up and over the swell of your ass. He doesn't slow down, doesn't even run his hand over your skin. He just pushes your panties to the side, pressing the head of his cock right up against your pussy, holding it there as he grits against your ear, "Guess I gotta show you where I want to be."
He pushes the thick head inside you, wrapping one arm around your stomach to keep you from falling forward. His other hand is flat on the sink, not playing with you, not easing anything. He doesn't give you any prep, just shoves in slowly, his cock stretching you all in one go.
You hiss, brow pinching. He didn't even let you get wet enough to take him. You can feel every damn move he makes inside you as he shifts his hips closer to pin you hard against the cold edge of the sink. When he's all the way in, you watch your mouth pop open in the mirror as you take a few panting breaths. The stretch is almost unbearable, but feeling so full of him, you don't want to stop.
He eases out, just a couple inches to coat himself in your slick, then presses back in even harder. You feel like your lungs are going to give out from how tight your gasps are getting.
"Fuck, Joel... hurts," you whine.
He slowly slides you off of him, then feeds it right back in.
"I know it does, honey," he breathes against your neck. "I know it does."
His deep voice makes you pulse around his cock and he drags his big, calloused hand down to the front of your dress, lifting it up just far enough to see your pussy, stuffed full of him. You're leaking down the sides of his cock, glistening in the dim light of the bathroom.
"See that?" he asks, unmoving. "That's where I wanna be. You hear me?"
Giving a shaky nod of your head, you whimper, "Yes."
He starts to piston in and out of you, and you can only watch. You close your eyes tight when he speeds up a little. "It's... mm- it's too much."
He doesn't change his pace. "Ain't about feelin' good. You've got to learn."
He groans when your pussy clenches around him, and you follow with an answering moan as the tension in your muscles starts to fade. You're soaking down both sides of your inner thighs as he opens you up further.
When you've dissolved into whimpering his name, he hooks one arm around your leg from behind, lifting it up so that you're spread wider. His other hand is still holding up your dress.
"Look at that," he grunts, making an obscene display of his cock fucking into your pussy. "Look how fucking hard you make me, baby."
You whine again, struck dumb by how good he feels with every snap of his hips. "God, feels so good... please..."
He's dragging his teeth against your neck when he replies, "Please?"
"Please, Joel. Feels so fucking good," you repeat, eyes closed.
You want him to fuck you properly, to bend you over and make you take him, to use his fingers - to let you use yours - anything; it doesn't matter. You're so worked up, you just need a little more.
"M'not gonna give you what you want, darlin'," he answers. "Don't work like that."
You can't help but loose a plaintive moan, even knowing you deserve it. "Baby, please-"
He drops your knee, letting your leg come down to the floor as he bends you over the sink. When he starts to fuck you for real, you can't hold it together anymore, softly pleading and whining for more, begging him not to stop, opening your eyes to watch him in the mirror as he starts to lose himself, too.
Until a knock at the door jars you right out of it.
"Is anybody in there?"
Joel doesn't even slow down. Just flattens his palm along your lower back to bend you back over after you jolt up.
"Joel-" you hiss. But he keeps giving you exactly what you need, and your eyes roll back.
"Hello?"
He slides a warm hand down the open neckline of your dress, kneading your breast as he looks at you in the mirror. His brown eyes are stern and steady. "Answer."
He keeps feeding you his cock, and you hiccup, legs shaking as you whisper, "I- I don't..."
"Go on and tell 'em. You're busy."
Fuck fuck fuck. "Uhh, s-someone's in here!"
Your voice comes out strained and airy, and you wait for the reply while Joel kisses the skin of your shoulder, sliding the front of your dress down.
"Joel, it's... somebody is..."
"Nothin' in here that I wanna hide," he growls, pushing his hips right up against your ass as he circles a thumb around one of your nipples.
"Fuck, Joel..." The silence outside has been long enough that the person is probably gone, but your pulse is still pounding, and he's making it so fucking hard to think. "Oh my god, yes..."
He's quietly panting, lifts his head long enough to say, "Understand now, pretty girl?"
"Mm..."
"This here's right where I wanna be. Nowhere else," he grunts, pressing his weight down on you, the squelching sounds between your bodies getting louder than your moans. Your eyes are drawn up to the mirror, watching the veins in his neck tighten as he fucks into you harder and harder. "You got it?"
You frantically nod, desperately near the edge of coming. "Fuck, yes, mhm..."
"Maybe I oughta fill you up right here, leave you with somethin' to think about."
"N-no," you stutter, almost sounding like you're sobbing your words. "P-please, I get it. I heard what you s-said."
He has to let you come. You don't care that you were acting up, making something out of nothing. You don't care what got him mad at you. All you can think about is how flushed his chest is beneath the open collar of his shirt, how tight his grip is, how stiff his jaw is set. You just want to listen to that throaty growl, feel him mercilessly fucking you a little while longer. That's all it would take. Just a little bit...
"Fuck-"
Joel pulls out, hand tightening into a fist around himself. You slump against the sink.
"Goddamn, baby. Almost got me, there."
You're on the verge of tears, shuddering with wild breaths. "No, fuck, Joel, please please please-"
He grips a handful of your ass, fingers brushing through your wetness and making you whimper.
"Told you, I ain't giving you what you want."
You hear him zip up his jeans, and then his hand is back at your ass, but this time he's pulling your panties back into place and tugging your dress down.
"Never gonna learn that way."
You whine pitifully, knowing you brought this on yourself, but still pleading under your breath, face drawn tight with frustration.
He helps you stand up properly, giving you his arm to steady yourself. You straighten your dress, cleaning up your appearance in the mirror, and eventually you're able to leave the bathroom, walking out on trembling legs.
He gives you a smirk as you leave the hallway, and something in you finally snaps. Maybe it's a little unfair, but you know exactly what to say to knock that smirk off his face.
You lean in and whisper in his ear, "Guess you didn't want me that bad after all, or you would have finished."
And all of ten minutes later, you're in the cab of his truck. You're screaming his name as you come all over his cock, hands fisted in his hair, tugging it hard while he pumps you full of his cum, cursing you the whole time.
Turns out, he's the one who's never gonna learn.
--
A/N: Thanks for reading! I don't have a taglist for Joel, but I'll add one if I ever write for him again. Hope you enjoyed! :)
Masterlist
#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#pedro pascal#last of us#joel miller smut#pedro pascal character x reader#tlou
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,, Bloodstained Crown ''
Yandere emperor x vengeful ex-crown prince reader
Tw/s: obsessive love, kidnapping, heavy yandere themes, rough + shameless + clingy yandere, dubcon, voyeurism, cockwarming, sex in public, power imbalance, one sided enemies to lovers, mentions of killing/death, slight gore.
They never seem to stop, those clouds. Crying all day as if mourning something important. Their tears seem to wash away the thick red liquid on the dirty floor. It wouldn't have been possible if not for the roof of the manor being in shambles. "T-t-those damned Luminayresâ", he coughs, and coughs, and coughs, almost reaching his limit and taking his last breath. The heavy rain drowns out the sobs of a young teen, clinging onto what little hope he had left. He was in utter shock, not even able to say a single thing. Nothing came out his mouth. Not even a single whimper looking at the dead bodies. Dead bodies of his parents, servants, everyone who had ever lived in that palace. Dead. In a pool of their own blood. No amount of apologies will stop this former royal from avenging them all.
Even after so many years. Perhaps even a decade has passed. You're determined to finish what they started. They made a huge mistake. They didn't check if you were already dead or not. The bullet that had been lodged into your arm is not replaced with a scar which is a reminder that no matter how much they tried to cover it up, you'll always be out for their throats. When the sun sets and the streets are empty, you look around for ways to get into the protected palace. Revenge really isnt an easy feat.
"[Fake Name]! Did I hire you to doze off or work?", a deep voice yells out from the otherside of the sunlit room. You wipe a bit of sweat off your forehead, "coming boss", you jog over with a semi clean cloth to where your higher up is. "This is very dirty, how do you expect our customers to like it?", he points at one of the many displayed weapons. You notice a few specks of noticeable dust, "my apologies boss, I'll clean it all up right away", you slowly and carefully brush off the dust off of everything to make sure they look good enough for customers to stop by and look at, perhaps even buy. Your salary here isn't worth the work you're doing but as long as you can keep a roof over your head and food on the table, you'll be fine. It's way better than being on the streets afterall. This is almost your way of moving on. Even if it's not affective in the slightest.
After dusting off most of the armour, the doorbell chimes. A man walks in wearing armour. Someone who works for the royal family that's for sure. The boss is almost taken aback but keeps his composure, "W-welcome honorable soldier!", he instantly lightens up, a huge smile on his face while you freeze in place, not daring to face the man who has just entered the shop. The soldier doesn't say anything, only looking around, searching for something. "Do you have a blade with a handle made out of gems? Specifically diamonds", the boss is even more taken aback, as if the shop has anything that valuable. "My deepest apologies honorable soldier, I fear we do not have anything that fits that description", he frowns, "do you take custom orders?", "y-yes but I'm afraid we don't have the gemâ", the man is quickly sileneced by the soldier putting a huge sack on the ground, from a small opening, the diamond shines just enough for everyone to see, including you. "His Royal Highness, the prince will be needing this next week for his engagement, he will be personally coming to pick it up", with that, the soldier turns his heels and walks out the door, the bell chiming once more as he does.
Something about this ignited the flame in you once more. This may be your last time.
"This means more work for us", well, more of work for you. With your mind elsewhere, you almost dont hear his voice. When you realize he did say something, you give a quick nod and head towards the jewelry shop to look at some gems. Your boss didn't need to ask you too anymore, you already knew. You already know this street like the back of your hand. It was an easy task reaching to your destination.
"Mr Albert, can you help make a handle out of diamonds?", you ask as you step into the shop. Even if you didn't intend it, the two of you had became pretty close but you know that won't last long. "Of course [Fake Name]! What kind are they?", you hand him the heavy bag of diamonds, shocking him as the diamond shines brightly. "Whose are these?", "the prince's, it's regarding his engagement to the princess Elena", Albert is even more taken aback as he grabs one of the glistening diamonds with one hand while the other holds a magnifying glass to it. "This is really high quality..!", you nod, "so, how long will it take?", "perhaps 5 days if I rush it."
5 days.
5 days is all you have to prepare. This might be your only chance. Even if it's half a percent, you're willing to take that risk. This is an opportunity you've been waiting for. You don't even know if the prince will be there or not, it's just something you'll have to count on.
The rest of your work day passes by as usual, nothing out of the ordinary, nothing unique, nothing to really make you feel content with life. Though, how could you? Even after all these years, you haven't given up on what you've been seeking ever since you were just a young teen. Whatever it is, it's still near impossible to achieve in these circumstances.
You take a seat looking out to the ocean, the sun setting as you do. The view reminds you a lot of the past. The very distant and unforgivable past. The little boy who had accompanied you all those years ago. The perpetrator.
Enough of the past. You're here to enjoy the sunset and ocean breeze. You sit in silence, relaxing your body and closing your eyes for a bit. Unfortunately though, even when the atmosphere is relaxing, something about it does annoy you a bit, the sound of people murmuring as they walk behind you, on the road. You can smell something sweet and know it's from the bakery not too far from your seat. This area used to be quiet, nice, full of trees and grass up until people decided they needed more land to use for shops. Everything changes overtime, nothing you can do about it.
After just a few minutes, the sun has dissapeared from sight, the moon taking its place. It's an everyday thing, nobody finds it unusual. Once the sun is gone, the moon takes over.
You look around, some shops are closing down while others stay open for the night. That's when you decide it's time for you to get some rest. No use staying here and dwelling on the past. It can't be changed anyways. As you're getting up, a carriage drives right by you, you catch a small glimpse of who the carriage is carrying. A mere glance from their midnight almost black eyes makes you shiver. It reminds you of the ocean at night and something more. Though, you can't quite place your finger on what it reminds you of.
Those 5 days pass by painstakingly slow. Too slow for you who wanted to have the prince's severed head on your shelf right this moment. When the day finally came, you waited in the shop. Acting as if it was any other day. Well, it sort of was. The only difference being the soon to be murder weapon concealed under your clothes. Your foot tapped impatiently, wanting to hear the sound of the townspeople murmuring or giggling, causing a ruckus. It would more than likely indicate the prince's arrival. "[Fake Name] why are you tapping your foot?", your boss asks with an annoyed expression. He hates the tapping sound, it drives him crazy. Though, when you turn around, wanting to answer or apologize for the action, the door opens. "Pardon me, I'm here to pick up a custom order?", a sweet and grace-laced voice calls out from just a mere meters from you. "O-oh yes of course your highness!", the old boss scrambles to the back, searching for where he had placed such an important order. Meanwhile, you stared bullets into the royal. This was it. Your chance. Maybe even your last.
As the prince takes a couple steps to admire the shop owner's handiwork, you took this as an opportunity to get closer. "Hm? I'm alright you don't need to show me around", you glance at the entrance, a few guards stationed to keep the prince safe but you wonder, why aren't any of them by his side? That's a stupid thing to do. Leaving their one and only heir all vulnerable to any and all attacks. With a swift move, you grab your weapon and direct it to the prince's throat, pinning him to the shelf. "Oh?", is all he lets out. An interested and excited 'oh' . The blade stops just a fraction from his skin, leaving him unharmed. Even as you try to press the blade closer, aiming to slice his soft skin, your strength is no match for his.
"Your highness! Here is yourâ", the old man nearly has a heart attack on the spot, nobody would blame him if he did. "[FAKE NAME]!? WHAT IN HEAVEN'S SAKE ARE YOU DOING!?", his screams are loud enough to reach the ears of the guards outside, prompting them to turn around and look at whatever was the matter. With no hesitation, they burst into the shop, almost breaking the glass door. "Drop your weapon immediately!", one of them says while the others surround you. "Step away and nobody gets hurt", their tone intimidating, unfortunately or fortunately, not quite intimidating enough for you. "Agh, fuckers", you turn to the guards, letting the prince out of your sights for just a splint second. A terrible mistake.
With a swift move, your blade is removed from your hands. "No need to worry, I'm afraid our attacker here is quite inexperienced", you look back at the prince who now has an even wider smirk. Little do you know, he's also scanning your features, taking it all in. "Huh, your face is familiar, that attitude, not so much", you glare at the man nad try to punch him using your non-dominant hand which is also stopped by him. "Y-y-your highness! I am incredibly sorry for the trouble he has caused!", the old man is clearly referring to you, "rest assured he's never allowed to work or come near here ever again!", he's almost crying, trembling with fear as to what the royal family might do to him. The prince seems to be thinking as he pauses for a few seconds before his eyes lit up. With a firm grip, the royal heir clasps both your hands in one of his, making sure you can't make any sudden attacks on him. With the now free hand, he stretches it to the boss, "where's my dagger?", and just like that, the boss is scrambling to hand it over. Once the prince had it in his hands, he looked over at your puzzled and angry face. "Is it pretty?", he holds up the dagger to your face. You think he's about to stab you with it so you remain silent. "I'm Prince Vaelius if you haven't already known", he scans you, "and you are..[Fake Name]?", he seems unsure of it himself, wanting confirmation from you but you don't give it. "Fuck you and fuck your royal family bullshit", you spat out with venom. Most would be incredibly angry by now but not him. He finds it amusing how you have a vendetta against him and he doesn't even know you!
Vaelius takes a step, then another, and another towards the exit. The guards open the door for him, wondering what his next move would be. As the carriage door opens, you're thrown into it, followed by the prince who climbs in immediately after you. You try to kick the man but all that does is amuse the royal sicko. "Let me..off this dammed carriage!", you scream and try to kick once more, only for your ankle to be grabbed by Vaelius who pulls you closer. Your leg now sitting on his shoulder as the carriage moves slowly. "Your life's in my hands now, [Name]."
"[Name], meet Prince Vaelius", your mother, the Queen of Aldoria introduces you to the little boy infront of you. He looks about 10. Now why would you befriend such a young boy when you can play with others your age? "Go on, talk to his highness", she gives you a gentle push which makes you a bit annoyed. The little boy looks up at you, his midnight eyes almost glowing as he looks into yours. It's as if he's mesmerized by you. "H-hi!", his voice is still high pitched unlike yours. You're in your early teens so it's been a while since you've heard an annoying high pitched voice. Nonetheless, you have to be nice. "Hello, I'm [Name] [Last Name]", you reach out to shake his hand but you mom quickly puts your hand down, "it's impolite, give a little bow", she whispers in your ear to which you oblige. You give the smaller boy a bow, to which he smiles sweetly at. "Mn! I'm Vaelius!", he excitedly replies.
Arriving at the place you never thought you'd ever step foot in ever again, you feel a sense of dread wash over. However, this feeling was soon followed by anger and frustration.
The prince steps out first and holds out his hand, anticipating yours to grab his. Instead, you ignore the outstretched hand and get out yourself. Dusting your clothes as your feet touch the ground. "Are you repulsed by me?â", as he asks that, your hand grabs his collar, glaring at him, "I won't cause a ruckus as long as you keep your hands off of me", "but you're the one touching me, are you not?", he looks down at the hand on his collar which you quickly pull back, turning your attention back to the magnificent castle infront of you.
With guards surrounding the both of you, you are brought into the castle, the prince never leaving your side. As the palace doors open, there are already maids taking the prince's coat off, making him feel at home while you look at him in dissapointment. Does he not even know how to take off his coat? Anywho, you look around, taking it all in. It's been years since you've last been here. "Do you like your new home?", "home?", you instantly turn around and ask, the maids retreating to their positions. Vaelius waltz towards you, a cunning look on his face that makes you want to punch it off him, "yes, you're marrying into this family, [Name]", he takes your hand, "didn't I say not to touch me!â", Vaelius places a peck on the back of your hand, "you wouldn't want to dissapoint the entire empire, now would you?", his eyes show a glint of obsession, though it passes faster than it appeared. For some reason, you can't pry your eyes from the lovestruck prince. "What are you saying...", you're suspicious of Vaelius, just what in heaven's sake is he talking about.
Vaelius gestures for one of his servants to come over. She's holding a blade with both hands which Vaelius grabs, handing it to you, "this is for you, my dear fiancĂŠ", his voice alluring and almost commanding you to take the blade in his hands. Despite his warm smile, the air felt heavy with an unspoken tension. Neither one of you wanted to lose this unspoken battle. "Or shall I remind you of how you tried to hurt the one and only heir?", his eyes open to look at you with a fierce look in them, you feel sick to your stomach. You hate him, you hate his family but this might be your only chance in surviving and carrying out your revenge. Lose the battle but win the war as they say.
You grab the blade part, bleeding a bit as it slices into your hand, "then, I'll gladly accept, my prince", you look at him with glaring eyes as he stares back with a smile, "aren't you sweet? Come up with more nicknames before our wedding, won't you?", he gestures again to the maids and in a few seconds, those same maids are guiding you to your new room. Temporary of course. You'd be sharing the same bed as the prince soon, patience.
ËËË ę° âĄ ęą ËËË
"At least the room's nice", you mumble to yourself after seeing where you'll be sleeping for the next few days or weeks. The maids all exit the room, with one letting you know that if you ever need something, to just ring the bell near your bed. You try to take it all in. What you did, what you will do and what he will do. The prince is unpredictable, making you all the more uneasy and wary of him, but for now, you should just enjoy a lavish lifestyle. Just like all those years ago.
"The prince is a beauty isn't he?", your mother catches you off guard. The two of you are sitting on a bench in the garden while ththe prince is with the emperor, discussing a few things with your father. "What do you mean, mother?", you ask in return and she giggles, "don't think I haven't noticed your eyes constantly following his figure now", your eyes widen, face visibly flushed. You can't say anything or rebuttal her words as you know it's true. She notices this and turns to you, a sweet smile on her face, "you might as well ask him out now before he gets snatched up by a girl or perhaps another guy", she jokes but sees that your expression is uneasy, "sweetie, I don't care who you like, you're allowed to love whoever, I mean, you're a teen now! I'm practically a soon to be grandma", she laughs and you do too. The small blonde prince turns to look at you with a huge innocent grin on his face. Little did you know, the emperor had noticed this and glared bullets into you.
"[Name]~?", Vaelius calls out, leaning a bit too close to you for comfort. You throw him off of you immediately, knocking him onto the carpeted ground, "ouch!", he rubs the back of his head which had collided with the ground, something in you compells you to lend him a hand. So, you extend one for him to take and he does so. "Why did you sneak up to me like that!?", you ask, furious. He stands up, almost towering over you, you don't remember him being this tall.."I wasn't, you were just spacing out", he sighs, looking like a hurt puppy who got scolded at by its owner, "don't pull that face and why are you here anyways?", he perks up at the question, "well, you are my soon to be husband, it's only natural I'd introduce you to my father", "I've already met hi-", "no time to lose!", he drags you out the room and into the hallways.
"Father! Meet my fiancĂŠ!", Vaelius pushes open the giant door to the emperor's office where Emperor Adrien sat. "What do you mean, son?â", his words are almost cut off as you enter the room, looking like you've been forced to be here, "who is that.", the emperor rises from his seat, looking down at you but not his son, "my fiancĂŠ", Vaelius happily says, holding your hand up. "Vaelius Luminayre. What in the world are you thinking", his tone is calm but you can tell he's beyond furious with his one and only son. "I'm perfectly capable of choosing my spouse, am I not, father?", Vaelius is passive aggressive with his words, daring the emperor to oppose his marriage with [Name]. "And what about Princess Elena", he is glaring at you, as if decades of hatred is surfacing once more. You can only look on in silence as the argument between father-son is going on. "Oh, her? You can tell her family we won't be needing them anymore", Vaelius says as if it's the most obvious and easiest thing in the world, ignoring the fact that they had been engaged for half a year. The families had hoped for Vaelius to take her as his empress but now..things have taken a turn for the worse.
"Vaelius. You two will not have my blessing", the emperor thought his son would listen after his little threat but that was far from true. "I didn't come to ask for your blessing, father", Vaelius slyly says, you can almost see an irk mark forming on his cheek. Emperor Adrien is shocked by this response, "Do you understand that you WILL NEVER become emperor if you marry that wretched man!? Has he corrupted your mind!?", the emperor yells and throws a vase your way, only for it to be blocked by Vaelius, what have you even gotten yourself into!? "Keep telling yourself that, old man", the prince turns around, taking you with him and exiting the room as yet another vase flies across the room, hitting the closed door.
This was only the start of your new life.
After that incident, your life became...easier? Well, it was all thanks to Vaelius anyways. Somehow, a few days after Vaelius met with his father to discuss about the marriage further, the emperor suddenly approved of your marriage. With the condition that the marriage would have to be postponed until 3 months later. This was also an opportunity for you to get rid of the royal family and not be tied to them in any way. You just had to figure out when was the perfect time for your plan to be executed.
And that moment came sooner than you expected. It was midnight, you knew everyone in the palace, other than the royal guards, were fast asleep by this point. The palace eerily quiet, the atmosphere almost horror-like as you roam the hallways to look for the emperor's chambers. To your utter shock and surprise, two guards lay dead on the ground of their own blood infront of the cracked open door. "Holy shit..", you cover your mouth. Even though you had seen this countless times...this time was different, it reminded you so much of that night
You also wondered, who could have beaten you to it? With your curiosity growing with each passing moment, you decide to take a peek. Avoiding the blood and corpse, you look through the small crack of the door. Your stomach drops at the sight. The moonlight shines on the perpetrator's blonde hair, in his left hand, the head of the now dead emperor, a blade on his right. The floor and walls covered in blood, the perpetrator himself is also covered in thick red liquid. Your eyes widen as the man notices someone staring at him. He turns to smirk at you, revealing himself as Vaelius Luminayre.
"Come in, why don't you?", he beckons you in, your legs move towards him, obeying his command. Once you reached him, your legs give out, falling into his arms as the bloodied head drops onto the ground with a loud thud. "Well aren't you so sweet? Falling for me like this", your head rests on Vaelius' shoulder as he holds you by your waist. You're almost frozen in place seeing what the prince, no, your fiancĂŠ, has done to the emperor. "V-Vae...", "sshh", he hushes you, "I did this for us, [Name], you've wanted this from the beginning, haven't you?", he chuckles in a low voice, a terrifying laugh. "Now we can get married the second the sun rises, isn't that amazing?", he holds your hand and makes you face him, lifting your chin to stare into his eyes as his bore into yours. "I'll be yours and you'll be mine, how's that?", with nothing left to say, you nod in agreement, did you want this from the start..?
"[Name] I'm gonna marry you one day!", the young boy says while pouting. Another lady had been flirting with you prior before this and unfortunately the young prince had witnessed it all. He was not happy. "W-what!?", you're taken aback by his suddenness, "you can't marry me..!", you yell to which he pouts even more, "why? Is it because I'm not a pretty lady!?", Vaelius seems like he's on the verge of crying so you give in, "o-okay then, I'll marry you", his mood takes a turn for the better and he smiles, "no take backs!"
The Prince always gets what he wants. Whether that's the title of Emperor or your hand in marriage. Today marks the day he gains it all. Not only is he the emperor by law, you are also now the Imperial Husband. A title that will be bestowed to you in a couple hours time.
The wedding ceremony was nothing short of grand. Everyone was invited to witness their new emperor's marriage to the former Prince of the [Last Name] house. Most cheered for the couple while some were dissapointed. Oh the look in Princess Elena and her family's eyes, priceless in the eyes of the now Emperor Vaelius. The wedding itself was held in the Royal Palace. Usually it'd be held at a church but Vaelius wanted it to be even more grand so he chose his palace. You even had a custom made outfit fit for the occasion, a pristine white dominated suit with the colors of your house. This was Vaelius' way in honoring the late King and Queen of your kingdom. You hated him and still do probably but you can't deny that what the both of you had in the past, still remains in the present.
Even though you didnt know whether he had been involved or not, something in you wanted him to be involved in your family's massacre, at least then..you can avenge them still, with the former emperor dead and all. You can't fail them but, is it worth murdering an innocent man for? The man whom you had fallen for all those years ago no less. In this marriage, you can't tell if it's either unrequited or requited love.
"Your Imperial Highness..!", a commoner girl says as you and your now husband pass by the crowds of civilians. They're all begging to get your attention, screaming, calling out and even crying, all so that you'd notice them. Maybe theyre trying to gain your favor or maybe they simply find you captivating, Vaelius sure understands where they're coming from. He finds you absolutely irresistible and it would be natural for the public to be captivated by your beauty too. So long as they know their place in his empire. You turn to face the girl who called out for you, her face full of joy despite her shabby clothing and dirty appearance. Why was she so happy just to get a glimpse of you? You'll have to get used to this life now.
What you probably can't get used to is your new life with the Emperor Vaelius. The moment the two of you stepped into your new shared chambers, Vaelius wasted no time in pushing you onto the bed, "Vaelius! What are you doing!?", "we're married now, aren't we? Let's spend the first night like husband and wife", he licks his lips at the sight of you sprawled on the bed. He's been waiting all this time for your return and his want for you can no longer be suppressed.
Without a second thought, Vaelius attacks your neck, littering it with kisses and hickeys. The pain was bearable, but the way he licked you really did send shivers down your spine, this sensation is very new to you. Instead of pushing him off, your hands pull him closer, something compells you to. It's as if the you from all those years ago came back, wanting to hold the now Emperor Vaelius. You close your eyes in pleasure, containing the moans threatening to escape your mouth. "You like this, huh", he speaks against your sensitive skin, making you all the more turned on. "M..mhm", you manage to get out. Vaelius then pulls back, looking at your mesmeric expression. "My...beloved [Name]...", your name rolls off his tongue over and over again as if he's afraid of the possibility of not being able to utter that name anymore. "Never leave me again", it sounds more like a demand rather than a plea. Before you could respond, he took both your hands with his left, his lips pressed against yours while his right hand is wandering down to your pants. Stopping to unzip them. If this was any other piece of clothing, he would have ripped it open. But since it's your wedding outfit, he'd like to keep it intact.
With his hand rubbing your cock, you reach out for said hand, wanting it to stop as you already feel to much pleasure. Never in your life would you have even thought that your first love would be touching you like this, as your husband no less. "Hm? Do you not like it?", Vaelius knows you like it, he just wants to hear those words come out your mouth. "Or would you like it more back there?", his hand wanders towards your hole, a finger pressing on the entrance as you moan just by his touch. His finger stays firmly pressed against your needy hole for a few seconds, enough for you to whine, "Vaelius..just put it in already!", a command he obeys as he immediately inserts a finger into your hole, you close your eyes due to the unfamiliar feeling, it feels weirdly pleasureful. Something in you wants more, something bigger, but you dont voice that out. Though, you neednt say anything for him to know what you want. He pushes in a second finger in, making you cling onto him.
"..ah...NGH...!?", you almost let out a loud moan as you feel your protaste being stimulated, closing your eyes in the process. Vaelius smirks, enjoying the way you're turning into putty under him. He didn't say anything as you moan out. Though, it was clear just by looking at his face, that he was thoroughly enjoying the lewd noises coming from you. Without wasting anymore time, he removed his fingers from your hole.
You felt empty, until something else pressed against your wet hole. Fuck! He's huge..! was your first thought as you took a good look at his lubed cock. You didn't even dare to estimate the size of it, "it won't fit..", a reaction which makes the emperor chuckle, "your body was made for me, of course it will fit", before you could respond or let out a snarky comment, Vaelius thrusts himself into you, gripping your waist as he does. You arch your back, eyes widen at the sudden intrusion, "f-fUcK!", you yell out, "you're so tight..", Vaelius was clearly enjoying the way your hole clenched around him. You, on the other hand, wasn't used to this. Tears form in your eyes but they dont fall. When you look back at the blonde, his face is red, seemingly lost in thought himself as he stares at his cock halfway in your hole. You felt his grip tighten and without warning, he slams his cock as deep as possible inside your ass. You let out a loud scream-like moan. The pleasure and pain hitting you all at once, "my dick feels...so good", he leans down to kiss you. You moan into the kiss, him exploring your mouth with his tongue, making you a mess as drool trickles down your chin.
You were getting used to his size due to him staying still but then Vaelius suddenly pulls out, leaving only the tip inside before thrusting it all in. "Ack..! Ah!", you moan as he thrusts in and out, leaving almost no room for you to breathe as he part his lips from yours, focusing on pounding your ass and filling it up with cum. You on the other hand, felt your eyes rolling back, your whole face flushed as you had a firm grip on the bed sheets. Your moans became louder than before, turning your now husband even more. His pupils were practically heart shaped as he looked at your messy form being fucked so hard and rough you look as if you're losing yourself.
You could see and feel the way Vaelius thrusted his cock in and out of you, your lower belly bulging whenever he went all the way inside. This sight made Vaelius all the more horny. Soon enough, he felt as if he was at his limit, "I'm gonna cum...!", as he said that, you grew more aware of your own orgasm. The more he pounded your hole, the more you felt close to your climax. "Cum with me, darling..!", he said inbetween grunts and gasps. Your body convulsed as you let out your first load in a while. Not only that, but the feeling of Vaelius' thick and warm seed filling up your hole made it all the more pleasureful for you. Unplugging his cock from your hole, his cum drips down onto the bed but the both of you couldn't care less in this moment. Lost in each other.
After a moment of silence and rest, Vaelius was the first to speak, "how was it?", "...well it was my first time soâ"You're a virgin??", "...", you gave no further comment, regretting ever letting those words out your mouth. This makes Vaelius laugh and blush, knowing he was your first love and the one who took your virginity, "then...I'll make sure your body gets so used to my cock that nobody else's can satisfy your needs, I've got to make a good first impression for you", he thows himself onto you, wrapping his arms from behind you as you face the other way, "just a warning though, I have many needs and wont stop once I start"
And oh boy was that true.
Not even a month later, and he's already bending you over the table. The official meeting table. With nobles around the both of you as he took the farthest and tallest seat. Well, at this very moment, he' standing as he as his cock all the way inside of you. Your face buried in your arms, not wanting to face the tense nobles. Some are even turned on by the sight of you getting dominated infront of them. But, if any of them stared at you for too long, two glades would come flying towards their eyeballs. Afterall, the only one who should stare at you is Vaelius. "Regarding these problems, whose idea was it?", despite his cock being warmed by you, his personality was far from it. He was cold by nature, only warm towards you. You breathe heavily, embarrassed to be seen like this. The once crown prince, heir to the Aldoria Kingdom is now being bent over by the Emperor Vaelius, full of cock as the man towering over you holds important papers, dicussing as if he's not all the way inside you right now. "I-it was mine, your majesty", Vaelius lets out a dissapointed sigh, even you knew what this meant.
In an instant, he sits down on his seat, bringing you with him. This makes his dick sink even deeper into your hole, grazing your prostate ever so slightly that it makes your hole clench, making him grunt. He was clearly unhappy with the decisions the nobles made under his father's reign. With a hand on your hips, he moves you nack and forth, grinding on his cock. Vaelius somehow doesn't let out a sound that would make him seem weak infront of these powerful men but you do. You moan and writhe in his touch, his cock so deep inside and hitting your prostate so good. "What made you come up with such a stupid and revolting idea", even if you aren't able to see it, just by his voice, you could tell he had a sinister look on his face, looking down on the noblemen. "I-I apologize your majesty", you watch as thr powerful men infront of you scared out of their wits when face to face with Vaelius. Though, you didn't pay their reactions any attention as you were too busy focusing on Vaelius' big cock inside.
With his strong hand, he lifts you up until they can see his cock halfway in before pushing you back down on it, he repeats this over and over again. Some of the noblemen got hard but dared not to touch themselves, but especially to you. Less they had a torture wish. "...and you call yourselves powerful? Smart? Hah!", Vaelius lets out a sarcastic laugh, it was loud enough to make them all tremble. "Your majesty..weâ", "Silence.", a single word and they all felt their bodies shivering. "Get out of my face. I'll give you all a week.", they knew what he meant by this, he was goving them mercy. All of them got up, synchronized, bowing and thanking the emperor for his mercy before scurrying out the door.
This leaves you alone with the angry emperor. You wondered what would happen to you. Of course, you should have expected to be fucked dumb. Vaelius knew how to hit your prostate just right to get you screaming and slobbering over his cock. He drops the papers on the ground as of they're useless to him and holds your hips instead. You're turned around to face him and your arms wrap around his neck, "your expression...so cute", you weren't given a chance to respond, as if you could in your condition. He lifted you up and down on his cock extra rough. Those noblemen pissed him off and you're the only person who can calm him down. Using your hole. The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the entire room. Even as it's air conditioned, the two of you sweat due to the intensity of it. Your prostate was basically being abused at this point, you couldn't think of anything but his cock, your brain all mushy now because of it.
Even as you came, he still continued his rough thrusts. Making you feel even more stimulated due to how sensitive you are after coming. "Take all of my cum inside, [Name], take it all..!", he says before coming inside you. Your head resting on his chest as he hold your waist. After a few minutes, he pulls out and helps you stand before bending you over the desk once more. "I love you [Name], please take all of me", in his eyes, the look of love and lust combined. The young boy, of whom you had once found annoying, has now become the man you despise. The one you wanted to rid the world of. Yet as fate foresaw it, he now stands as the dangerous emperor who has forcibly stolen your heart. But will you let him have it?
Took two months but here it is yall (Im so sorryđ)
#bottom male reader#yandere x male reader#x male reader#oc x male reader#male reader#top male character#yandere oc#yandere male#xin's vaelius luminayre â#ă by the hands of xin ă
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CALL OF THE SEA / PART EIGHTEEN
pirate poly!141 x f!reader tw: NSFW, MDNI, violence, fire, illness, depictions of death, be warned as always masterlist
When a group of unhinged pirates invade your small village, you're whisked away from your peaceful home and thrown on to a voyage out at sea. Forced to obtain a new role as their medic, you have no choice but to accept your fate as you join their forces and aid them in their treacherous travels.
Rest didnât come easy, nor did waking up with agonizing pain flashing through you like a beatdown on repeat with no stop button. Sometime during your rest, you recalled Soap and Gaz returning with the promised pillows, carefully cushioning you in between to ensure you as much comfort as possible, but the memory was fuzzy.
Everything felt a bit surreal, as if you werenât truly present and the events that unfolded never actually happened. You figured it was your mind attempting to protect you, repressing the pain of the new memories, but it always came back in the form of anguish, your shattered bones shifting beneath the surface of your skin with every subtle movement you dared to make.
There was no use in pretending. It was pure hell, and up until now, you played the role of a strong woman with no fear of walking along a path unknown. You played long enough. The pain was far too much to muster an act of strength.
The room was empty when you woke for the nth time, the barest of sun rays peeking through the small windows and casting the room in a dim glow. The Captain nor the others were nowhere to be found, most likely manning the ship as promised or in their own beds to earn the rest they deserved after seeing a ghost of their past.
Your eyes remained on the ceiling, vision blurring then focusing, in and out. No matter how hard you blinked, the fuzziness wouldnât relinquish its hold, nor did you have the strength or courage to lift a fist to frantically rub it away.
You hated being alone. After Price left last night, it had felt peacefulânow, it felt torturous, listening to the distant waves clash among each other and having no way of taking your time to breathe in the salty air as they fought against the sides of the ship.
Had he slept last night? Had he rested at all?
You went to open your mouth, to call out for him in hopes of being loud enough, but all that left you was a heavy wheeze, your mouth dry to the bone. You were parched as much as you were weak, and it showed in the way you attempted to inhale a deep breath, only for it to come crashing down on you in the form of an extreme sharp clash to your ribcage.
Everything hurt. The euphoria of your shared kiss with the Captain had long worn off, leaving you sober and miserable.
You were nothing more than a skeleton, or perhaps even an undead from those of the stories youâd heard about as a child. Alive, but not living. That was surely how it felt.
You felt utterly helpless as you laid there, unmoving. Even the lift of your finger felt as if you were lifting the weight of the world. It was all so heavy, your body, mind, and soul.
While you were one to cure the sick, you were never on the other line. There was no one there to coddle you in the way you knew to do with others, nor any treatment that could fix you the way you wanted to be fixed. An immediate recovery was out of sight, and it only grew you more restless, an itch burning beneath your skin.
It was only by a miracle of the universe that just as you were beginning to fight within yourself that the door to the quarters opened, Soap stepping inside with a bowl of something warm, the steam faintly radiating up. He looked surprised to see you awake, making haste in shutting the door and hurrying to the bed.
âDove,â he chirped, throwing you a smile. You knew immediately he was trying to bring you some light, and for that, you appreciated it. âYer up early today. Was just bringinâ ye some breakfast to start the day with. Ye hungry?â
Your eyes fluttered at the sight of him, then down to the bowl in his hands. You had no desire to eat, your appetite shot the moment you woke with no relief. Despite the faint grumbling in your stomach, the sight made you nauseous, mouth watering in ways considered unpleasant.
Soap noticed, frowning at your pained expression. He set the bowl down, coming to your aid. âYe donât look well. Did ye sleep at all?â
All you mustered was a small hum, lips turning down into your own frown. Your body ached, begging to be stretched from its stiff knots, but you truly felt exhausted. It was taking everything in you to resist moving, fearing more flare ups along your side.
Soapâs hand lifted, carefully resting his knuckles on your forehead. Your skin was clammy and warm, something he took note of, and the skin around your eyes appeared darkened, bags already beginning to form.
âM��sorry for what ye had to deal with,â he apologized sympathetically, brushing a knuckle along your brow bone. âPrice has been bustinâ ass to figure out where to take ye. Been out there all night.â
You deflated at that, guilt pulling your heart strings. The last thing you wanted was for them to exhaust themselves for the sake of you, and the helplessness only grew.
âAch, donât look so grim, lass. We just want whatâs best for ye, canât have ye all banged up and broken, can we?â he attempted to tease, his smile fading into defeated pout when you gave no reaction. âDoes it hurt?â
You let out a heavy sigh through your nose, feeling the tension in your rib cage as you excelled your lungâs usage. You offered a short nod, Soapâs expression only turning more apologetic.
âCan I see?â he asked, and when you threw him a weary look, he corrected himself. âI wonât hurt ye, dove, swear. Iâll be gentle.â
You stared at him long and hard, before ultimately agreeing, lifting a heavy hand to paw away at the sheets. The dress was pulled back over your figure, but with Soap averting his eyes respectfully, you worked with all your strength to tug at the fabric to pull it up enough as you did the night before.
You released a frustrated noise when you were unable to get it past your hips, your arm failing you. You hated how weak youâd grown in only mere hours, feeling as fragile as glass, and you knew it would only grow the longer you remained unattended to from a doctor.
âWhatâs wrong?â Soap asked, voice slightly muffled from him facing the other way. You huffed.
âI canât get it,â you mumbled, voice croaky from the dryness in your throat.
âI can help,â he tried, keeping his head turned. âI can see ye wantinâ to say no. I wonât make it weird, dove, but it needs to be checked. Let me?â
Your eyes bore into the side of his face, flickering across the rugged skin and stubble. There was no reason not to allow him to see, granted he already had last night, but alone felt much more vulnerable. Still, this was Soap you were talking aboutâhe wouldnât dare make you recoil.
You hummed approval, turning away from him to avoid his eye as he shifted towards you. His gaze dropped down to the bare skin of your legs, hand outreaching carefully.
Your warm skin felt even hotter when his fingertips grazed your thigh, trailing its way up to the bunched hem of your dress. He was cautious as he helped you lift it, seeming more focused on his own concern rather than anything lustful.
It made you relax, body slowly admitting defeat as the dress lifted past your ribs, the only thing keeping your decency being the thin sheet he had graciously pulled over your legs to provide you cover. It was as if he sensed your discomfort and was doing everything in his power to guarantee he meant no harm.
Your heart seemed to pick up its pace, pounding against your ribcage and shooting a different type of pain through you. You couldnât put your finger on what it was. You just knew it hurt.
Once your injury was revealed to him, he couldnât stifle the pained breath through his nose. His face contorted into one of hurt, as if he mirrored your pain.
âIs it bad?â you asked, voice cracking under the cottonmouth.
âAch, itâs nothinâ,â he attempted, though you could hear the burrowing worry in his tone. âJust a bruise, aye?â
You sucked in a careful breath, feeling your lungs fill then slowly release. âYouâre lying, arenât you?â
Soap grimaced, fingers lightly brushing along the aggressive bruising on your side. The blackened veins had only grown, spreading into ugly branches. Whatever was hiding within them was the sole reason you were so weak, even just mere hours after inheriting them.
âWould I ever lie to ye?â
âYeah.â
A small smile broke out on his face, only falling when you whimpered a noise of discomfort as his fingers caressed the skin for too long. His expression morphed into one of deep thinking, eyebrows tugged together and teeth nearly gnawing his bottom lip. You thought he looked a bit silly, but maybe you were being delirious.
âNo need to worry âbout it, birdie. Weâre fixinâ ye up real soon,â he assured, a sign of a promise. Despite it, he didnât sound so sure.
You only hummed, sinking further into the fluff of pillows surrounding you, eyes redirected to the ceiling.
âDo ye want to eat? Ghost fixed ye up somethinâ warm, figured it may lift yer spirits,â he tried, reaching for the bowl he set aside. The steam no longer rose, but the smell of it invaded your nose.
You didnât think anything could make you feel better, and the reality was until you got true aid, you wouldnât heal. Not with the Devil coursing through your veins.
But the look on Soapâs face was hopeful, and you felt a nagging guilt if you were to deny him. It wasnât often you got Soap alone, and you knew he had been the one to take the food to you in order to spend time with you. It would be downright barbaric to deny.
That was how you ended up with Soap feeding a spoonful of warm soup into your mouth, burning your turn at first taste with him snickering in apology and you glaring daggers.
He chirped your ear off, rambling about everything yet nothing at the same time. You laid and listened, occasionally throwing in your own piece, albeit shortly. Speaking fully was hard, even when you wanted to, but the soup had done wonders to your throat.
You reminded yourself to thank Ghost later. Even if he wouldnât accept it.
âHave ye ever loved anythinâ, birdie?â
The question was sudden, nothing like the ventures Soap had been going on about in order to occupy your mind. It took you off guard and you shifted your head to look at him, noting his curious expression.
Love was a strong word, and you knew your answer. You had been alone up until this point, and even then, the act of friendship was something you were still on the path of discovering.
âNo,â you murmured honestly. âI have never felt that.â
Soap hummed, tapping his finger against his lip. âThe Captain was quite jolly this morninâ,â he stated suspiciously. âHe was still actinâ like a hound dog, donât get me wrong. Barkinâ us around like his liâl workinâ mice, but there was somethinâ different. Ye know somethinâ âbout that?â
The two of you stared at one another, Soap holding a grin behind his hand, you appearing stumped. He was playing a game, even with you bedridden and suffering. He truly was a boy at heart.
âActing different like Ghost does with you?â you bit back, Soapâs face dropping. âYou are barking up the same tree, Soap.â
âAch,â he tsked, throwing a hand up. âGhost always say Iâm too nosy for my own good. Thought the little birdie would have somethinâ for me to hear.â
You didnât know why, but you felt you could entrust your heart with Soap. He never held judgement towards you, even from the beginning when he fought for your right to be treated fairly. He was a boy at heart, but a man when he needed to be.
âIâm afraid I do not,â you dismissed, rolling your head back forward to stare at the ceiling.
âTch. Liar.â
You fell silent, as did he. You could practically feel him waiting for you to break, knowing it was brimming.
âI do not think what I say will be very good,â you confessed, tone growing soft.
âI have never forsaken ye,â Soap replied cooly, unfazed by your reservedness.
You frowned to yourself, knowing he was right. At the end of the day, Soap had been your supporter, even from afar.
âIs it bad to feel for more than one?â you asked, keeping your gaze glued to the ceiling.
Soap grew surprised, eyebrows raising. It wasnât what he was expecting you to say, let alone ask him. âYe said ye have never loved anythinâ.â
âBecause I have not.â
âThen whatâs this yer speakinâ of?â
âForget it.â
Soap cocked his head, taking in the way you seemed to shut in on yourself. While he was an open book, heâd dealt with plenty of introverted feelings with Ghost. It was nothing he hadnât seen.
âThereâs nothinâ wrong with feelinâ for more than one person,â he assured, eyes flickering over the side of your face. You could feel the heat of seriousness in the stare. âHell, who cares if ye end up with more than one? More love to go around, aye?â
You took in his words, allowing yourself to feel comforted by it. You didnât expect Soap to find it strange anyway, but to hear it outwardly put your mind at ease from the torn battle being fought within it.
âI feel for the Captain,â you murmured quietly, as if afraid to say it. âYet I feel for Gaz. I am trapped.â
âIs that so?â he hummed, encouraging you to continue, yet you had not much to say. Your own words felt like vomit with anything wanting to come out being trapped in your throat. âIs there anybody else included in that picture?â
You knew what he was insinuating, and it made you nauseous. To confess that your heart pushed and pulled towards each of them in a way that had you longing, it was too much to say. You feared for the path you were strung along, though you feared veering off of it more.
âNo,â you replied, missing confidence in your answer. You knew you were lyingâyou were just too frightened to admit it.
Soap blinked, weighing your answer. It felt as if he was hiding disappointment. You wouldnât have noticed if it hadnât been for the slight drop in his shoulders. âSânot that bad,â he dismissed, trying once more to make you feel better.
It only made you feel worse.
You no longer had a reply, opting for silence instead of conversation. You knew you could trust Soap with the information youâd given him, but there was an underlying feeling of something missing from the conversation, something you werenât quite ready to address.
Sensing the shift, Soap shot you a smile, clapping his hands on his knees to stand. âIâll be back later, dove. Ye know to yell if ye need anythinâ.â
You highly doubted youâd have the energy to yell, but you nodded nonetheless, frowning at his back as he receded from the room.
You worried you hurt his feelings, but you werenât sure why theyâd be hurt in the first placeâyour own strange inner workings towards him and the others were nothing bad. Heâd said so himself. Yet, the way he left so suddenly had your stomach sinking, thinking that you gave the wrong answer.
You watched the door for the next agonizing hour, blinking away sleep in hopes of catching the next person to come in. When nobody came in, you caved in, disappointed, slipping back into a restless sleep, losing the fight with your own mind and body.
The world was distorted around you, as if peering through a dense lens. You werenât sure where you were, but all around you was an unsettling darkness surrounding a vast, empty land where nothing there seemed to thrive.
The grass beneath your bare feet was dead and dry, poking into your soles like little needles. The trees, albeit what was left of them, were thin and brittle, branches littering the ground around them. Buildings crumbled in pieces, standing broken and tarnished, the homes of what once lived here now vacant.
The world felt void of anything but disaster, showcasing its ugly teeth and rearing them into you.
You couldnât recall if youâd ever been here before. There was a sense of familiarity in it, something that struck a chord with you.
The air filled your nostrils, breathing in old ash and faint smoke. It made your throat tighten and your eyes water, the scent shifting the more you consumed it, something more rotten poisoning it.
When you looked around, you realized your loneliness. Nobody was near youânot even Graves. It grew confusion, wondering whether this was one of his nightmares he loved to toy you with, or if this was entirely on your own.
Your body felt weightless, as if the pain youâd been suffering had vanished and you were nothing more than a feather. When you lifted a hand to touch your side, there was no agony. It was like youâd never been injured to begin with.
The world around you was eerily quiet. While it had a nostalgic feel, it had your hairs on the back of your neck standing.
You dared to take a step forward, your feet burrowing into the straw-like grass. The moment your foot touched the ground, everything morphed. Rather than the quiet runes of an old town, your ears nearly bled from screams and cries of hopelessness that filled the air.
Villagers ran frantic, seeking shelter from impending death. Women, men, children, they all were succumbing to their own horrible cruelties. Mother Nature offered no mercy on their souls, taking what she wanted and whatever stood in her way.
The homes were no longer rubble but burning in flames, villagers running for safety, coughing and hacking from the smoke that clouded around them in a dome. You felt the heat singe your skin, warming you from the inside and out.
You stood, horrified, unable to do anything but watch.
You knew why everything seemed so familiarâthis was your home. You were watching it fall apart just as youâd done before, but this time, you knew the outcome before it arrived. Everybody around you would be dead once again, and you would be the unlucky survivor.
You attempted to move, but as if your feet were glued to the ground, you remained frozen, locked in a nightmare of watching everything youâd ever known crumble to pieces for a second time.
Why? Why were you being shown this? Why did you have to relive it? You didnât understand, and the more you fought, the more disoriented you became.
Your gaze darted everywhere, frantic as you searched. It wasnât until you realized the small bookkeep of your village that it was the only building left standing, unharmed. The flames hadnât slithered inside, nor had it succumbed to destruction.
You tried your hardest to understand, to think of any reason why your mind was reliving this horrible memory, but the flames began to slink its way towards you, tickling your feet. Its ember grew, and you cried as the heat embedded into your skin.
Youâd hardly visited the bookkeep, only on the occasion your curiosity on a subject got the best of you. It held no significant meaning to you. All the knowledge you earned was from your own research. So why?
You watched the fire dance around the building as if it were untouchable, killing everything in its wake while protecting the bookkeep. It hadnât even touched its grass, keeping it green and vibrant compared to the soot-covered fields around it.
You desperately searched through your mind for importance. Even as the flames at your feet rose, you tried with all your might, hoping that anything of significance would cease the torturous pain and bring you back to your reality.
They rose and rose, until you could no longer think of anything but your melting skin and scorching body. You burned along with the villagers and could do nothing but accept it until you were swallowed whole, engulfed in your own personal hell.
âSheâs a furnace, Cap,â Gaz said wearily, the back of his hand pressed to your forehead. âWhatever Graves did to her, itâs not givinâ us a lot of time.â
The Captain paced his quarters, hand dug into his beard, tugging.
Upon Gaz returning to feed you dinner, he found you clammy and burning, your skin hot to the touch. Your forehead was covered in a sheen of sweat, the skin discoloring around your eyes to a meek gray. You were asleep, though God only knows for how long since Soap had left that morning.
âCaptain,â Gaz tried once more, watching the man nearly rip his own hair out as he lost himself in his own muddled thoughts.
Price said nothing as if he hadnât even heard Gaz. He was thinking up anything to stall your illness from whatever disgusting infection Graves mustered up, but he wasnât a medic. That was your knowledge. He felt utterly useless.
âPrice,â Gaz snapped, loud enough to garner the Captainâs attention. âGet a fuckinâ grip. Stress later, come up with a plan now.â
Price halted in his tracks, taking in a deep breath. He took the moment to calm himself, knowing Gaz was right in everything he said. He was a Captain, damn it, yet was falling apart at the sight of one of his own.
âWe donât have time for a professional,â Price stated, stepping up to your bedside where Gaz sat. He peered down at you, observing your sickly skin and pure exhaustion. âWeâll take her to a village doctor, a shrink, it doesnât fuckinâ matter. The nearest place, we take her to.â
Gaz released a sigh, glancing back at your crippled form. Broken ribs seemed to be the lesser worry. It was the ugly veins that only seem to travel further under your skin. They looked worst than they had been the night before, far worse.
âNobody leaves her alone,â Price continued. âOne of us will be here at all times until we make landfall.â
âIâll stay,â Gaz offered immediately.
Internally, Price wanted to protest. He was Captain, he should take the responsibility, but his responsibility lied with the helm and manning the ship until his body gave out. It was his heart yearning to stay.
âIâll let Soap and Ghost know,â Price replied. His hands balled into fists at his sides, jaw clenching uncomfortably. âNone of you leave her fuckinâ side. Am I clear?â
Gaz stared at the Captain, noting the tension he held. He glanced back at you, a poor sight to see, and he nodded in agreement.
âNo man left behind, aye, Cap?â Gaz tried.
Price grunted, giving him a clap on his shoulder. He gazed down at Gaz with an unreadable expression before shaking it off, storming out of the quarters to inform the others of the plan.
Gaz sat quietly, focusing on you. His heart was pained, seeing you so distressed. He did what he thought may comfort you, grasping your hand in his, rolling a thumb over your knuckles. There was nothing for him to do but get comfortable for the night and ride out the storm that Graves stowed upon them once again, promising to whatever God was listening that heâd fight through hell and back if anything were to happen.
You didnât wake that day, nor the day after. You relived the nightmare over and over until it was engraved in your head, festering itself deep. It took nearly three days to awake, forcing your eyes open.
Your mouth was dry as cotton, eyes crusted over with endless sleep. Your body felt heavy, as if molded to the cot, and it took all your strength to move your head. You wouldâve shrieked in surprise if your throat was hydrated enough.
Price slept beside you, faint moonlight as well as a trusty candle illuminating his peaceful features. He laid on his stomach, arms curled under the pillow and cheek pressed into it. He looked almost boyish like that, the worry exhausted from his face and replaced with a quiet calm.
It was the first youâd woken in the middle of the night to the sight of him. The times youâd spent in his bed before were ones you didnât wake up to, only waking to an empty cot or falling asleep alone.
You couldnât help but stare, studying every smooth feature. You almost felt it wasnât real, that maybe this was a new nightmare forming and was playing tricks on you with a subtle beginning. But when you stared long enough, reality formed and you knew you were awake.
Your body was still hurting, though from being so still in slumber, it was more stiff than anything. You weakly lifted a hand, pawing at the Captain in attempts to rouse him.
As if heâd already been on edge, his eyes shot open, meeting yours. His expression quickly morphed into surprise, then relief.
âDove,â he breathed, sitting up. He made an uncomfortable grunt from the stiffness in his muscles but was quick to ignore it, laser focused on you. âAre you alright?â
You opened your mouth to speak, an embarrassing squeak coming out. Price noticed instantly, shooting up from the bed.
âWater?â he asked, and when you nodded, he dipped from the room, leaving you alone.
You didnât wait long, and you wouldâve thought Price was running a marathon with the haste he made. He sat beside you, carefully curling his hand on the back of your head to lift it. He placed the cup to your lips, and you nearly moaned in relief once the water hit your tastebuds, flooding them with hydration.
âBetter?â he asked, watching you gulp he beverage.
Once finished, you sighed, blinking away the soreness of your eyes. His hand remained on your head as he stared at you, worry lines forming between his brows.
You knew you looked even more hellish than before, but he didnât seem to pay any mind, only concerned about making sure you were alright. It warmed the coldness in you, melting away the icy wall youâd built from the reoccurring nightmare you suffered.
âWeâll make landfall tomorrow,â Price explained, smoothing his knuckles along your cheekbone with his other hand. The affection caused you to relax. âGet you all better, aye? I know how much it hurts.â
You sluggishly nodded, content with the change of scenery rather than angry flames that burned you to death over, and over, and over. Though itâd only been three days, it felt like years.
âHome,â you murmured, voice still shot from weakness.
Price appeared confused, cocking his head. His thumb brushed along your cheekbone as he spoke. âHome?â he repeated. âWhatâs on your mind, dove?â
âNeed to go home,â you mumbled softly.
âI donât understandââ
âMy village,â you explained, frowning.
Price stared at you, trying to read you. His eyes flickered between yours, displeased with the sickly bags surrounding yours. You looked void of life.
âYou want to go home?â he tried, and when you nodded, he hummed. He knew you had no home to go back to, and so did you. It was rubble.
Rather than question your reasoning, he merely took it in stride, nodding in agreement. âWe can go home, doveâafter you get better. Alright?â
You knew you sounded silly, but the nightmare kept flashing in your head. The bookkeepâsomething was there, even in the ruins of it. It called to you in your dreams, and it stayed unharmed during mass destruction. There was nothing else for you to believe besides its calling.
Price glanced down at the bare skin of your ribcage where it peeked out from beneath the blanket, your dress still pulled up from when youâd shown Soap. They all made sure you remained decent, never wanting you to feel uncomfortable.
Whatever was plotting beneath your skin in the rooted veins, Price could only hope it wasnât making you delirious. Hearing you utter words about home had him stuck, but he knew better than to not trust youâit was something he did with his life, now that he had you.
If it was home you wanted to be at, heâd take you. He only prayed you made it long enough to see it.
#call of duty#cod#cod x reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley#kyle gaz garrick#ghost cod#soap mactavish#john price#john price x reader#price x reader#price cod#kyle garrick x reader#kyle garrick#gaz x reader#soap x reader#soap mactavish x reader#john soap mactavish#johnny mactacvish x reader#call of the sea#pirate!141#poly 141 x reader#poly 141
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Post by u/DJConvex to r/AskReddit on Nov 6, 2024:
People who work in DC for the government, what is the vibe?
Comment by u/Meduselde:
Resigned. We are generally very good about not discussing politics in the workplace but the vibe was obviously off. My more conservative colleagues who were happy Trump won were extremely respectful. There wasn't smug gloating and they were very obviously being cognizant of others' feelings even more than normal. It was extremely appreciated. Ultimately, we survived the first administration and will survive again. It's not necessarily Trump who was the problem last time, but his inexperienced senior appointees. The world isn't going to end nor do I feel democracy will crumble at his feet. It's just gonna be chaotic, and that's the worst part as a worker bee. At least with Biden we had consistent leadership and clear guidance, even if you didn't agree with it. Under Trump, your "yes man" says "no" and that's how you rotate through four SECDEFs. But as a sign of hope, it also means that even the most loyal DO say "no" sometimes, especially when businessmen are finally confronted with the realities of governance.
They chill out REAL quick on their dismantlement plans when they see the work these agencies do and what's at stake if they don't stand up for their people. It's easy to say you will dissolve or cut funding for something when you do not truly understand it. And as much as people say we can ALL be magically replaced with "yes men," even the most stone-hearted appointees recognize that the last thing you ever want is to lose the entirety of your skilled workforce. They learn it's best to get the skilled people to work towards their vision and not hire enthusiastic but stupid people to attempt the same. If they do, they risk looking inept themselves. You don't get skilled federal workers in a blue portion of the country to work for you by being a fucking Nazi. We're cranky and will make your life hell if you behave like that. I'm not talking about some sort of organized resistance movement because we feel like it. That's wrong. But just imagine hundreds of thousands pissed off at you. If that's the Deep State at work, then we aspire to be the quality of swampy Deep State your racist uncle thinks we are. If implementing dictatorship was that easy, Trump would have taken out every agency his last term and fired us all. I am actually extremely proud of the resiliency and checks and balances that the American federal government has in place to prevent most of the shit he says he can achieve by waving a magic executive wand. (He's done this once. He knows he can't. He just lets the majority of the population believe he can.) Us feds will make it, as we always have.
And we will live up to our oath to serve the Constitution, not a president. We serve every official of every party faithfully within the bounds of legalities and our oath. Working for administrations you may not like it's just a part of the job that we all recognize. Public servants at the federal level generally hold that extremely close to their heart. The ones that don't (I'm talking to YOU, WaPo "informants!") put us to shame. We're just tired, man. I can't believe it has already been four years since the last round. There's going to be some waves, no doubt, and some people definitely are going to be hurt at upper levels. But grab a Twisted Tea and buckle up. We'll at least pretend it's meant to be a roller coaster and ride it. TL;Dr Democracy is not going to die. But a drink and "thanks" would go a long way.
EDIT: Woah! I woke up this morning and am surprised by how much traction this got. I'm sad that this was the most positive thing some people had read. I'm sorry it's been that bad. I am not predicting outcomes. I have no idea how it's going to go. It's going to be bloody. But the hope I am trying to get across is that we are a resilient people and a group of (generally) good people. It will be okay, okay? The people that really make or break your daily life are those around you and your local government. Hold those around you close to your heart and always be kind. Everybody go outside, take a deep breath, eat something you love, and hug your grandma (even if she voted differently). The world is still turning and the sky is still blue. Being surrounded by spiraling anger on the internet only makes us the losers, not those we disagree with. The only thing we can do right now is wait. We have a few months to cool off! Enjoy your holidays!
EDIT 2: I think everybody has forgotten about this, but go check out the memorandum signed by the Joint Chiefs of Staff at the end of Trump's first term after January 6. The feds basically said "fuck that" when people were scared that the government was going to turn the military on them to help Trump in some way. While it was specifically addressed to our armed forces members, it was spread throughout the DOD and beyond. Partially as a result of federal workers' fear (not actually ordered, to be crystal clear) that they would be asked to turn on citizens. This sentiment was echoed across the entire government via internal emails (from Trump appointees!) as well to the civilian workforce. That's one of my proudest moments as an American and why I know we will get through it.
Emphasis mine. Link to original Reddit Post. Link to an article about the aforementioned memorandum signed by the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
Don't give up. We will get through this.
#us politics#election 2024#donald trump#kamala harris#we will get through this. we will survive.#jen.post
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reblogging comment review from @zyafics
SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO REBLOG, I WAS PACKING TO MOVE đââď¸ always these r my comments on my first AND SECOND read through because im actually obsessed with them âŹď¸
also the two songs i've been playing on repeat for this fic is everytime by ariana grande and y.d.l.r by tory lanez. take from that as u will đ
Hockey and, well, the fact that you hadnât missed a game since⌠well, since Rafe and you broke up.
i cannot tell u how giggly i am rn
God, why did he always have to look so fucking good? His broad shoulders filling out his number 17 jersey, that stupid confident smirk as he skated out with the rest of the team. His dark blonde hair peeked out from under his helmet He was captain this year, and it made senseâheâd been working his ass off sinceâŚever. You couldnât think of anyone more deserving than him.Â
i love this so MUCH SO SO SO MUCH
You knew better than to be here, yet somehow you ended up courtside anyway. Probably because youâd never let him run you out of your favorite game. Not even if he was captain now. This was your team, the one youâd been coming to see since before Rafe even knew what a slapshot was.
i unfortunately do not know what a slapshot is
You sank further into Elijahâs side, forcing your eyes away from your ex. But it wasnât until you caught the dark blue of the jersey you were wearing in the corner of your eye that you realized⌠Youâd put on Rafeâs jersey.Â
YOU TOOK MY IDEA AHHHH đââď¸đââď¸đââď¸đââď¸đââď¸
You followed his gaze, heart dropping. They were zooming in on the two of you. You could feel the crowd around you start to cheer and whistle as Elijah leaned in closer, clearly getting ready to kiss you.
ohmygodohmygodohmygodddd
Bang!In the span of a second, a body slammed into the boards right in front you, the sound so loud it made you jump. The entire section gasped, and you turned your head just in time to see Rafe standing there, glaring up at you from behind the glass. His eyes were locked on you, jaw clenched.
As he FUCKING SHOULD I AM LITERALLY ON THE EDGE OF MY SEATTT
That was what had your pulse racing. You could barely focus on Elijah anymore. The way he laughed, oblivious, made your stomach churn because RafeâRafeâwas staring like he owned you. He always had this way of making you feel like no matter what, no matter who else was around, you were his.Â
choose me love me fuck me (who said that)
Then, still staring at you, he mouthed the words, "I dare you."
When the kiss ended, you forced a smile at Elijah, but your mind was a mess. Rafeâs eyes were still on you, and you could practically feel anger radiating off him, even through the thick glass.
his jealousy is RADIATING and iâm eating all of it up
âBullshit,â he growled, leaning in closer, so close you could feel the heat radiating off his body. âYou knew exactly what you were doing. Bringing a date with you. Do you want me to kill someone?"
sometimes yes pls prove how obsessed u r w me
âI hate you,â you muttered. It was a weak defense, and you both knew it.
my favorite part of hate sex when they r LIARS
Rafe leaned in, lips brushing against your ear. âYeah?â His voice was a low rasp that made your knees weak. âFunny, you never sound like you hate me when youâre under me.â
HES SUCH A DICK
His tongue slipped past your lips, and you bit down, hard, just to remind him you werenât going to make this easy. He groaned, low and rough, pulling back just enough to look at you, his gaze dark. "You always did like it rough."
OH I FUCKING LOVE HERRR
But he wasnât having it. His grip tightened, his mouth capturing yours again in a kiss so raw, it was borderline filthy. And that was it. Your last piece of control vanished, and you were lost in him all over again.
HE DOESNT EVEN LET HER ANSWER why is this so hotttt
Rafe just laughed, âNo, you donât,â he growled, his hands grabbing your hips as he settled you onto one of the locker room benches. âBut keep telling yourself that.â
iâm so quiet bc iâm so into this đŤŁđŤŁđŤŁđŤŁ
âYouâre mine,â Rafe growled, his voice rough as he thrust into you, each movement deep and brutal.âDoesnât matter who youâre with, doesnât matter how much you try to deny itâyouâll always come back to me.â
ONE FUCKING CHANCE
He pulled out suddenly, and before you could catch your breath, he yanked you up, turning you around. You barely had time to register what was happening before he lifted you up, your legs wrapping around his waist as he pressed you against the cold locker. His cock was back inside you in seconds, filling you again, and you moaned, the new angle sending jolts of pleasure through your already overstimulated pussy.
heâs INSATIABLE
âGo back to your date,â Rafe continued, his voice mocking now, âPretend like heâs enough for you.â
YKW FUCK U I WILL
He knew it too. "I never wanted to lose you," he admitted quietly.You swallowed hard, your chest tight. "You already did."
so u give me earth-shattering smut and emotional angst? screw u
đ i am absolutely enamored by the way u wrote their tension, how rafe fucking banged against the plexiglass and DARES her ohmygod i melted in a fucking puddle. ur smut was absolutely hot scorning riveting AND I WAS SO SURPRISED BY THIS MANS STAMINA LIKE CAN WE CATCH A BREATHE ugh âşď¸đ u did my req so much justice n gave me sm inspo i must write now
ex!reader who loves the game and wants to support her team but hockey captain!rafe is on the ice. he thinks sheâs there for him but when she comes in with a date? and when they get put on the kiss cam? rafe slams into the glass to scare them? hate sex????
someone who lets you break them twice - hockey!toxic!rafe x ex!reader (+18)
warnings: veryyy long and 99% smutđââď¸ the things i do for you...
The cold air inside the rink always made your skin tingle. Your breath curled in front of you like smoke as you moved uncomfortably on the bleachers, pulling your jacket tighter around you. This is why you hated fall. It was too cold to be outside, too early to be winter. But tonight wasnât about the weatherâit was about hockey.
Hockey and, well, the fact that you hadnât missed a game since⌠well, since Rafe and you broke up.
âEverything okay?â The voice beside you pulled you back to reality.
Elijah, the guy youâd been seeing for the past couple of weeks, smiled at you, oblivious to the bullshit taking over your mind, and you gave him your best smile back.
âYeah, just cold,â you said, trying to focus. You werenât here for Rafe, not anymore. You loved hockey. You loved watching the boys skate across the ice, their power and grace.
Or at least that was what you kept telling yourself.
Elijah wrapped an arm around you, pulling you closer to him, and you leaned in, feeling his warmth. The game was just about to start, and the arena lights dimmed slightly, casting shadows over the rink. The roar of the crowd drowned your thoughts for a moment as the players took the ice.
And then, as if the universe was personally trying to screw with you, you saw him.
Rafe.
Of course, he looked good.
God, why did he always have to look so fucking good? His broad shoulders filling out his number 17 jersey, that stupid confident smirk as he skated out with the rest of the team. His dark blonde hair peeked out from under his helmet He was captain this year, and it made senseâheâd been working his ass off sinceâŚever. You couldnât think of anyone more deserving than him.Â
He always had to be in charge, on and off the ice.
He still had that same cocky swagger that made you wanna scream⌠for entirely different reasons now.
You knew better than to be here, yet somehow you ended up courtside anyway. Probably because youâd never let him run you out of your favorite game. Not even if he was captain now. This was your team, the one youâd been coming to see since before Rafe even knew what a slapshot was.
You sank further into Elijahâs side, forcing your eyes away from your ex. But it wasnât until you caught the dark blue of the jersey you were wearing in the corner of your eye that you realized⌠Youâd put on Rafeâs jersey.Â
His number. The one youâd always worn to support him when you were together. Out of all the team merch you owned, of course you had to wear his.
âYou really like hockey a lot, huh?â Elijah asked, glancing down at your jersey.
âYeah,â You mumbled, feeling your cheeks heat up. âIâve been following the team for a while.â
Lies. You loved hockey, sure. But you loved Rafe a little more. Or, you used to. Or, well, maybe that was still complicated.
The puck dropped, and the game started. For a while, you tried to focus on the action. Rafe was all over the ice, playing like the goddamn superstar he thought he was. You couldnât help but notice how his gaze kept darting up toward the stands, like he knew you were there. And maybe he did
Halfway through the second period, he slammed into an opposing player, sending him crashing into the boards. The sound echoed through the arena, and the crowd went wild, but you could feel your stomach knotting up. That had always been Rafeâintense, aggressive, unable to hold back. On the ice or off.
You tried to focus on Elijah, laughing at something he was saying, but your heart wasnât in it. And then, just when you thought youâd survived the worst of it, the kiss cam flashed up on the big screen. Your laughter died in your throat as you realized what was happening, your face heating up instantly. You werenât exactly embarrassed, but this was... awkward.Â
âAw, how cute,â He said, grinning as he pointed to the screen.
You followed his gaze, heart dropping. They were zooming in on the two of you. You could feel the crowd around you start to cheer and whistle as Elijah leaned in closer, clearly getting ready to kiss you.
You could see him coming toward you, could see his lips getting closer, but all you could think about wasâ
Bang!
In the span of a second, a body slammed into the boards right in front you, the sound so loud it made you jump. The entire section gasped, and you turned your head just in time to see Rafe standing there, glaring up at you from behind the glass. His eyes were locked on you, jaw clenched.
He looked like he was ready to tear Elijah apart, or you, or both of you. His chest was heaving, eyes blazing, standing mere inches away from where you sat. He had skated right into the glass.
Your heart was practically in your throat, and it wasn't from Elijah being close. The look on Rafeâs face as he stood on the other side of the glass?
That was what had your pulse racing. You could barely focus on Elijah anymore. The way he laughed, oblivious, made your stomach churn because RafeâRafeâwas staring like he owned you. He always had this way of making you feel like no matter what, no matter who else was around, you were his.Â
And you hated that you still kind of liked it.
Then, still staring at you, he mouthed the words, "I dare you."
Why couldnât he just leave you alone?
Those stupid words. Silently mouthed, but somehow loud enough to hit you like a punch through the glass. I dare you. God, what was wrong with him? He knew exactly how to push your buttons. And of course, it was working. He wasnât just playing hockeyâhe was playing with you.
You could feel Elijah shifting next to you, still oblivious to the whole freaking drama unfolding right in front of him.
He was so sweet, too sweet, and it was almost infuriating right now because Rafe was standing there, with his stupid intense eyes, all but daring you to move on. Why did he have to look at you like thatâlike he knew you were still his.
The breakup had been brutal, the kind of messy, loud explosion where neither of you were willing to be the first to walk away. You were both too stubborn, too prideful. And now here you were, months later, still dealing with the fallout.Â
Elijah finally leaned in, lips brushing yours, and you kissed him, but your heart wasnât in it. All you could feel was Rafeâs stare burning into you. The kiss cam lingered for a few seconds, and the crowd cheered, but all you felt was... empty.
When the kiss ended, you forced a smile at Elijah, but your mind was a mess. Rafeâs eyes were still on you, and you could practically feel anger radiating off him, even through the thick glass.
You glanced down, avoiding his gaze, and tugged at the hem of his old jersey, suddenly feeling like you didnât belong in it anymore. You leaned into Elijah, mostly out of spite at this point. You could practically hear Rafeâs teeth grinding from across the glass. Good. If he thought he could just walk around, acting like he owned the placeâand youâthen he deserved to stew in it a little.
But, of course, he wasnât the kind of guy to just let something like that go. You watched as he skated back into play, but his eyes kept flicking up to where you sat, like he couldnât stop checking to make sure you were still there. Still with Elijah. His shoulders were tense, movements a little too aggressive, like he was about to snap.
You tried to focus on the game again, but your mind kept drifting back to him. You hated this. You hated that he could still make you feel this way, even now, after everything.
After the fights, after the breakup, after swearing you were over him. Why was it so hard to let him go?
The third period started, and Rafe was everywhere, throwing his weight around like he had something to prove. And maybe he did. Every hit was harder, every pass sharper. It was like he was playing angry. And you couldnât help but feel a little satisfied, knowing youâd gotten under his skin.
But then, with less than five minutes left in the game, things escalated. He slammed into one of the opposing players so hard that the guy went down, and the whistle blew immediately. The crowd was roaring, but Rafe didnât back off. He stood over the guy, glaring down at him like he was ready to throw a punch.
"Jesus," Elijah muttered beside you. "What the hellâs his problem?"
You didnât answer. You knew exactly what his problem was.
The ref skated over, shouting something at Rafe, but his eyes werenât on the ref. They were still on you, even as the other guy on the ice slowly got back to his feet. The arena was buzzing, the crowd getting rowdy, and for a second, you thought Rafe was going to lose it right there. His fists clenched, jaw setâhe looked like he was ready to drop gloves and start swinging.
And then he smirked.
It was that same cocky smirk you knew so well, the one he always flashed right before doing something reckless. The ref sent him to the penalty box, and he skated off, still with that fucking look plastered on his face. Your heart was racing, your body tense. Elijah had leaned back in his seat, totally unaware about everything.
âMan, that guyâs intense,â Elijah said, shaking his head, eyes still on the ice.
You didnât answer. Intense didnât even begin to cover it.
Rafe was sitting in the penalty box now, helmet off, running a hand through his hair like he didnât just about murder a guy on the ice. You could feel his eyes on you, even from all the way across the rink. You hated it. You hated that he could still get to you like this.
The last few minutes of the game passed in an instant. You werenât really paying attention anymore, not to the score, not to the plays. You were too busy trying not to think about Rafe, about the way he had looked at you. About the way it had made you feel.
When the final buzzer sounded, the crowd erupted in cheers. Elijah stood up, stretching, turning to you with a smile.
âReady to head out?â he asked.
You nodded, forcing a smile. âYeah, letâs go.â
As you made your way toward the exit, weaving through the crowd, you could feel the tension building in your chest. It wasnât over. It never really was with Rafe.
And you knewâsomehowâyou werenât getting out of here without seeing him again.
You reached the bottom of the stands, where a crowd had gathered near the exit. Elijah was still chatting about the game, still clueless. But you were distracted, scanning the crowd without even realizing it.
And then you saw him. Of course, you did.
Rafe was leaning against the wall, still in his gear, helmet tucked under his arm. His eyes locked on yours the second you stepped into his line of sight. He didnât even pretend to care about the people around himâhis gaze was dark, intense, like a predator waiting for its moment.
You hated how your heart skipped.
Elijah noticed you freeze and followed your gaze, his smile faltering when he saw Rafe standing there.
"Isnât that the captain guy?" he asked, glancing between you and Rafe, confused.
You swallowed hard, forcing your feet to keep moving. âYeah. Thatâs him.â
As you passed by, Rafe pushed off the wall, stepping right into your path. Elijah, sweet, unsuspecting Elijah, paused beside you.
"Leaving already?" Rafeâs voice was low, casual, but his eyes were locked on yours, ignoring Elijah completely. "Didnât even stick around to congratulate the team?"
You clenched your jaw, fighting to keep your cool. "Itâs late, Rafe. Weâre heading out."
But he wasnât letting you off that easy. He took a step closer, his towering frame making Elijah shift uncomfortably. "You didnât used to leave so soon," he said, voice dripping with that familiar cockiness. "Used to be the last one out."
Because youâd always let him fuck you in the locker room.
Elijah cleared his throat, trying to stand his ground. "Uh, yeah, weâve got plans after this."
Rafeâs eyes flicked to him for the briefest second, before landing back on you.
"Plans, huh?"
Your pulse was hammering, and you could feel the heat rising in your cheeks. Why did he always have to do thisâwhy couldnât he just let you go?
âRafe, weâre done,â you said through gritted teeth, trying to hold on to the last shred of your composure. âYou donât get to pull this shit anymore.â
He glanced at Elijah briefly, his gaze cold and dismissive, then back at you. âYou sure about that?â he asked, âBecause it doesnât look like it.â
You clenched your fists, nails biting into your palms as you tried to calm yourself. You didnât need this right now. Not with Elijah here. Not after everything.
âLetâs go Elijah,â you said, tugging at Elijahâs arm, desperate to get out of there before things escalated. But Rafe wasnât having it.
He stepped in front of you again, blocking your path like he had some kind of claim on you. And God, the worst part wasâyou werenât sure he was wrong.
You glanced at Elijah, who was staring at the two of you like he had walked into the middle of a conversation he couldnât quite follow. âLook, dude,â he started, awkwardly laughing, âI donât know what this is, butââ
âItâs nothing,â you cut him off quickly, your voice tight. âLetâs just go.â
But Rafe wasnât about to let it go.Â
âYeah, Elijah,â His voice dripped with sarcasm. âItâs nothing.â His eyes flicked to you, dark and daring, and before you could stop yourself, you met his gaze with the same fire.
Elijahâs phone buzzed, and he pulled it out, frowning.
âShit,â he muttered, distracted. âIâve gotta take this call real quick. Give me a sec?â He stepped away, leaving you and Rafe standing there in the middle of the hallway, your body practically vibrating.
He was on you in an instant, grabbing your wrist and pulling you toward the locker room door.Â
âRafe, what the fuckââ you hissed, but he wasnât letting go.
You tried to resist, but something inside you broke downâthe anger, the unresolved pull between you two. And maybe it was the way he still had that stupid hold on you, the way your body responded when you shouldnât want it to.
Or maybe it was the fact that youâd never fully closed the door on Rafe.
He shoved the door open, pulling you inside the dimly lit hallway that led to the locker room. The second the door closed, you spun around, shoving him in the chest hard.Â
âYouâre such a fucking asshole, you know that?â
Rafe barely flinched, his gaze smoldering as he crowded you against the wall.Â
âYeah? You didnât seem to think so when you were wearing my jersey tonight.â
âThat was an accident.â
âBullshit,â he growled, leaning in closer, so close you could feel the heat radiating off his body. âYou knew exactly what you were doing. Bringing a date with you. Do you want me to kill someone?"
Your heart was pounding, and not just because Rafe had you pinned against the wall like he always fucking didâ God, why did he have to be so damn close? The scent of his cologne mixed with the sweat from the game, sending your mind spiraling. He was overwhelming, and you hated it. You hated him for still making you feel like this.
âGet off me,â you snapped, but it came out weaker than you intended. The way his blue eyes were boring into yours, like he could see through all your bullshit, wasnât helping.
Rafeâs smirk didnât falter. If anything, it grew.
âCâmon, baby, donât act like this wasnât what you wanted. You show up, wearinâ my number, sitting there with some random guy like I donât still own you.âÂ
He stepped closer, caging you in completely. You pressed your hands against his chest, but it wasnât like you were really pushing him away. And he knew it.
âYou donât own shit,â you spat, glaring up at him. But even as the words left your mouth, you knew you didnât believe them. The truth was, part of you had always been his.
Rafeâs lips curved into a smug grin as if he could read every thought running through your head.
âReally? âCause from where Iâm standinâ, youâve been thinkinâ about me all night.â His breath was hot on your skin, and you hated how much you wanted to close the distance between you.
Your jaw clenched as you tried to muster the strength to tell him to fuck off, to leave you alone, but he was right. As much as you tried to convince yourself otherwise, he was still in your head, under your skin. The way his body hovered over yoursâit was like nothing had changed. Like you hadnât spent the last few months trying to forget him.
His hand found your hip, fingers pressing into your skin through your jeans, and you felt your body betray you. You cursed yourself silently as heat pooled low in your stomach. You didnât want to give him the satisfaction, didnât want him to know how much power he still had. But damn it, he knew. He always fucking knew.
âI hate you,â you muttered. It was a weak defense, and you both knew it.
Rafe leaned in, lips brushing against your ear. âYeah?â His voice was a low rasp that made your knees weak. âFunny, you never sound like you hate me when youâre under me.â
Your breath hitched, and you swallowed hard, trying to ignore the way your pulse quickened.
âDonâtââ
But he was already kissing you, hard and rough like he owned you, like you were his and his alone.
And the worst part? You kissed him back. His hands were on you, grabbing at your waist, pulling you closer until your bodies were pressed together. You wanted to shove him away, to slap that stupid look off his faceâbut your body had other plans.Â
This was so wrong, on so many levels.Â
You broke the kiss, gasping for air, but Rafe didnât back off. He was staring down at you like you were his next meal, like heâd been starving without you.
âThis doesnât mean anything,â you bit out, trying to cling to some sense of control.
Rafeâs grin widened, wicked and knowing. He leaned in again, lips ghosting over yours. âWe both know that's a lie.â
You clenched your fists, frustrated beyond belief. Frustrated at him, at yourself, at how easy it was for him to pull you right back in.
âFuck you,â you hissed, but the breathless tone in your voice told a different story.
Rafeâs eyes darkened, the corner of his mouth lifting in that infuriatingly sexy way he always did.
âOh, you will.â
And God help youâyou knew he was right. That fucking arrogance. It crawled under your skin, set your blood on fire in ways it shouldnât.
You wanted to punch him, shove him, do something to wipe that smug expression off his face. But instead, you grabbed his shirt, pulling him back toward you, kissing him with all the fury you felt.
His lips crushed against yours, and it wasnât gentleâthere was nothing soft or sweet about this. It was all heat and frustration, months of unresolved anger bursting out in one chaotic, messy kiss.
His tongue slipped past your lips, and you bit down, hard, just to remind him you werenât going to make this easy. He groaned, low and rough, pulling back just enough to look at you, his gaze dark. "You always did like it rough."
Your fingers tangled in his hair, and you yanked him down, kissing him like you needed to get all of this out of your system. His hands roamed your body, possessive, rough, and you hated how much you craved him, like you were still his.
You werenât his. You couldnât be.
But every heated breath you took, every desperate movement your body made, was telling you otherwise.
When his lips moved down your neck, teeth grazing your skin, you gasped, tilting your head back as your resolve crumbled to pieces. He knew exactly what to do, how to make you fall apart, and it pissed you off that he still had that power.
His hands gripped your thighs, lifting you with ease, pressing you harder against the wall. Your breath hitched, the cold tile behind you making you gasp. His mouth was on you, hot and demanding, and for a moment, it was like nothing else mattered.
Not Elijah, not the fact that this was so damn wrong, not the months of hurt and anger youâd been holding onto.
There was only Rafe. The way he touched you, the way he kissed you like he was trying to stake his claim all over again. Like you hadnât been apart at all.
"Tell me you donât want this," Rafe muttered against your lips.
You bit down on your lip, trying to stop the words from spilling out. You did want this. You hated that you did, but fuck, you couldnât lieânot to him, not to yourself.
âIââ You choked on the words, eyes meeting his, and for a split second, you thought maybe youâd find some kind of resolve, some way to pull yourself back from him.
But he wasnât having it. His grip tightened, his mouth capturing yours again in a kiss so raw, it was borderline filthy. And that was it. Your last piece of control vanished, and you were lost in him all over again.
âFuck,â you gasped, head spinning as his hands explored your body like he had every right to. Like you hadnât spent months trying to break free of him.
Rafe pulled back just enough to smirk down at you, breathless and flushed. âYeah, baby. That's what I thought."
His hands gripped your ass hard enough to leave bruises, you let out a frustrated, muffled groan, your fingers still tangled in his hair. It was a lot longer than the last time youâd seen him.
You could feel every inch of his muscle through the thin fabric of your shirt. It was suffocating in the best way, and you hated yourself for how much you wanted it.
How much you wanted him.
âYouâre such an ass,â you gasped between kisses, your breath hitching when his mouth moved down to your neck. You felt him grin against your skin, the bastard.
âYou say that like itâs supposed to stop you.â His voice was rough, low in your ear, and it sent a shiver down your spine. âBut I donât think it is.â
You were about to fire back, but his hands slid under your shirt, fingers grazing your skin, and whatever you were going to say was swallowed by the heat rushing through you. You hated that he still knew exactly how to get to youâhow to pull you apart and leave you helpless against him.
âRafe, thisââ Your words were cut off when he bit down gently on your collarbone, sending a shockwave through your body. You clutched at his shirt.
âThis what?â he taunted, pulling back just enough to look at you, his blue eyes intense. âThis a mistake? Because I donât think thatâs what your bodyâs saying.â
You just glared up at him, trying to catch your breath. You hated that he was right. Again.
Always.
âI told you,â you managed to say, though your voice was shaky, âthis doesnât mean anything.â
Rafeâs grip on you tightened, and he leaned in, his lips brushing yours as he whispered, âYouâre still here, arenât you?â
Your heart was racing, and you could feel the heat of his breath on your skin. There was no denying itâyou were here, and you werenât leaving. Not yet.
Maybe not for a while.
And Rafe knew it.
His hands moved lower, fingers grazing the waistband of your jeans, and your breath hitched. This was dangerous territory. You knew that.Â
âLast chance,â he murmured, his lips ghosting over yours. âYou want me to stop?â
You shouldâve said yes. You shouldâve shoved him away and walked out of there with what little dignity you had left. But instead, you kissed him againâharder this time, angrier, like you needed to prove something to yourself. And maybe you did.
He yanked your shirt over your head in one rough motion, and you werenât gentle either, tugging at his jersey until it was off and tossed aside. His hands were everywhereâon your back, in your hair, slipping under the waistband of your jeans, pulling them down with the same reckless urgency youâd been feeling since you laid eyes on him tonight.
âI hate you,â you whispered as your nails dragged down his chest, leaving angry red lines in their wake.
Rafe just laughed, âNo, you donât,â he growled, his hands grabbing your hips as he settled you onto one of the locker room benches. âBut keep telling yourself that.â
Your jeans hit the floor, and he wasted no time, his hands gripping your thighs as he positioned himself between your legs, pressing you down on the bench, his body heavy against yours.
Everything was messy, and rushed, like neither of you could get enough. Like you were trying to erase the months of distance, of frustration, in the way you kissed him back, bit his lip, tugged at his hair.
 You hated how much you needed this.Â
âStill think this doesnât mean anything?â Rafe rasped, his voice hoarse as he pressed his forehead against yours, breathless and wild.
You could barely think, let alone speak, but somehow, you managed to gasp out, âPositive.â
Rafeâs mouth moved down your neck, biting and sucking, leaving marks you knew would still be there tomorrow. âYouâre such a fucking liar.â
It was wrong, it was toxic, but fuckâthere was something about the way he touched you. And body, traitorous and weak, responded like it always had.
You were furious with yourself, with him, with everything, but the anger only made it all hotter, more intense.
His fingers brushed against the seam of your panties, teasing, barely touching you, but doing enough to have you drenched.Â
âYouâre soaked,â he murmured, almost amused, slipping one finger under the fabric to run along your folds, barely dipping inside before pulling back out, "Was this all for Elijah?"
Sonofabitch.
âStop talking,â you spat, but your voice was shaky, showing him the way you were falling apart under his touch. Rafe chuckled low in his throat, his finger moving back, this time slipping inside you, deep and slow.
You gasped, your head falling back as he began moving his finger, curling it inside you in just the right way. Your body responded immediately, hips jerking against him, desperate for more, but he took his time. He added another finger, stretching you out as his thumb rubbed slow circles over your clit, making your legs tremble beneath him.
He sped up, his fingers thrusting deeper, faster, hitting that spot inside you that made your mind go blank. âYouâve been wanting this, havenât you? All those nights pretending you donât think about me, but look at you now.â
Your nails dug into his shoulders, legs shaking as you felt yourself teetering on the edge, his fingers driving you closer and closer to the orgasm you so desperately needed.
His thumb pressed harder against your clit, sending shocks of pleasure through you. âTell me how bad you need this.â
âRafeââ you gasped, your hips bucking wildly against his hand. The tension inside you was coiled so tightly, so close to snapping. You hated him, hated yourself, but the words slipped out anyway. âI need it.â
He groaned, pleased, and that was all it took. He thrust his fingers harder, faster, until your body gave in completely. You hadnât had a proper orgasm in months. Nothing could get you off properly. Your walls clenched around his fingers the pleasure tore through you. You cried out, your nails leaving half-moon marks in his skin as you trembled beneath him, lost in the sensation.
But he didnât stop. He slowed down just enough to draw out every last bit of pleasure, his fingers still moving inside you as you rode out the aftershocks. When you finally caught your breath, he pulled his fingers out, his hand moving to cup your jaw, forcing you to look at him.
He shoved his pants down, not bothering to take them off completely, just enough to free himself. Your breath hitched when you felt him against youâhard, hot, and readyâand every rational thought you had left disappeared in that moment. He lined himself up, teasing you just enough to drive you crazy.
Before you could respond, he pushed into you in one hard, deliberate thrust. Your gasp turned into a low, breathless moan as your back arched, your hands gripping his shoulders for something to hold on to. The sensation of him stretching you, filling you, was overwhelming, almost too much, but exactly what you needed.
Rafe didnât give you time to adjust. He pulled back and slammed into you again, setting a punishing rhythm that left you breathless, gasping for air.Â
There was nothing gentle about it, nothing tender.
His hands gripped your hips, fingers digging into your skin as he fucked you like he was trying to remind you who you belonged to.
And you hated how good it felt.
âYouâre mine,â Rafe growled, his voice rough as he thrust into you, each movement deep and brutal.âDoesnât matter who youâre with, doesnât matter how much you try to deny itâyouâll always come back to me.â
âShut up,â you hissed, but your body was betraying you as you wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him deeper.Â
He leaned down, his breath hot against your ear as he whispered, âTell me you havenât been thinking about this every night since we ended.â
You couldnât.
The words were right there, on the tip of your tongue, but instead, a moan escaped your lips as he hit that perfect spot inside you. Your body arched against his, and you cursed yourself for being so weak.
âFuck,â you gasped, eyes squeezed shut as the pleasure built, every nerve in your body on fire.
âThatâs what I thought,â Rafe growled, his pace quickening, the force of his thrusts making the bench creak beneath you.
The sound of the bench, the way his body pressed into yours so perfectly, the heat of his breath against your neckâit all made it impossible to think straight. You should have been disgusted with yourself for letting it get this far, for letting him have this kind of control over you.Â
âI fucking hate you,â you managed to gasp out between breaths.
Rafe chuckled, âYeah? Then why do you sound like that, huh?â His voice was taunting, filled with the arrogance you hated, âThis pussy still mine, huh?â
You loved the way he grabbed you like you were his, even though youâd sworn, sworn, you were done with him.
You were still in love, werenât you? Even after all the shit, all the screaming matches, the nights spent crying because of him. That was the part that pissed you off the most.
Before you knew, his hands were flipping you over so fast your knees hit the bench before you could react.
âRafeâmmh,â you gasped, but your words died in your throat when he shoved you forward, pressing your chest flat against the cold wood of the bench. You barely had a second to brace yourself before his hands were gripping your ass, spreading you open for him.
He didnât give you time to catch your breath. He was already dragging the head of his cock through your wetness, teasing, knowing how much you wanted it, even if you wouldnât say it.
You squirmed, hating how desperate you felt, hating how your body responded to him like this. âFuck, Rafe, stop teasingââ
âYou want more?â he cut you off, voice dark and dripping with arrogance. He slapped your ass, just enough to sting, and you yelped, your back arching instinctively. âYouâre gonna have to beg for it.â
"Like hell," you spat back.
He leaned forward, his chest pressing against your back, his mouth right by your ear.
 âYou can act tough all you want, but I know how much you want this,â he gritted out, his cock sliding against your folds again, torturously slow. âI know how much you need it.â
Before you could snap back, he thrust into you hard, filling you completely in one brutal stroke. You cried out, hands gripping the edges of the bench, and Rafe didnât even give you a second to adjust. He pulled out almost all the way before slamming back in, faster this time, deeper.
The angle had you seeing stars. The bench was narrow, forcing your legs closer together, making everything tighter, more intense. You couldnât stop the way your body responded to him, hips moving back to meet his thrusts even though your mind was screaming at you to get a grip.
His hands gripped the fat of your ass, pulling you back onto his cock with every thrust, and the sound of skin slapping against skin filled the small room, mixing with your moans and his ragged breathing.
âGod, you feel so fucking good,â Rafe groaned, his voice low and rough as he thrust into you, each movement hitting that perfect spot inside you, making your legs tremble. âSo fucking tight for me.â
He pressed his thumb against your clit, rubbing in slow, deliberate circles that had you on the edge in seconds. You couldnât stop the moan that ripped from your throat, your hips bucking wildly against him as the pleasure built, higher and higher until you felt like you might break apart.
âYouâre close, arenât you?â He rasped, his voice thick with lust. âI can feel it. Fuck.â
You tried to hold on, tried to keep some control, but it was useless. He knew exactly how to break you.
âIâm gonna come,â you gasped, your voice barely more than a whimper as you felt the pleasure rising fast, threatening to consume you.
âDo it,â Rafe growled, his fingers rubbing harder, faster. âCome for me, baby.â
And you did.
Your orgasm crashed over you so hard your vision blurred, your body shaking as the pleasure tore through you. You cried out, your walls clenching around him, and Rafe groaned, his grip on you tightening as he fucked you through it, relentless, brutal, until your entire body was trembling.
But he wasnât done.
He pulled out suddenly, and before you could catch your breath, he yanked you up, turning you around. You barely had time to register what was happening before he lifted you up, your legs wrapping around his waist as he pressed you against the cold locker. His cock was back inside you in seconds, filling you again, and you moaned, the new angle sending jolts of pleasure through your already overstimulated pussy.
He pounded into you, his grip on your ass bruising, and you clung to him, nails digging into his broad shoulders as he fucked you against the lockers. The sound of metal creaking under the force of his thrusts only made it hotter, more desperate. You could feel another orgasm building, and you hated him for itâhated how easily he could pull them from you.Â
âYouâre mine,â he growled, his voice rough as he buried his face in your neck, his teeth scraping against your skin. âYouâll always be mine.â
And you hated that some twisted part of you wanted it to be true.
Your legs tightened around him, pulling him impossibly closer, deeper, as if you couldnât get enough of him.
And God, you couldnât.
His grip on your ass was rough, bruising, but it only made you moan louder. You were on the verge againâyour body still tingling from the last orgasm, but the way he moved inside you, the way his teeth grazed your neck, it had you spiraling toward another one, faster than you thought possible.
âLook at you,â Rafe groaned, lifting his head just enough to lock eyes with you. His pupils were blown wide with lust, a wild look on his face that sent a thrill down your spine. âFuck, you love this, donât you?â
You did. Because no matter how much you hated him, how much you wanted to hate himâthere was a part of you that still belonged to him. A part of you that couldnât walk away.
His lips were everywhereâon your neck, your collarbone, your jawâand you couldnât stop the sounds escaping your throat as he kept driving into you.
âSay it,â he growled, âSay youâre mine.â
You bit down on your lip, trying to hold it in, trying to fight back, but every nerve in your body was betraying you. The way his body fit against yours, the way he moved inside you, it was all too much. You were coming again, and you hated it.
He pulled back just enough to look at you, his eyes dark and wild. âSay it.â
You wanted to spit in his face. But your body was telling a different story, hips bucking against him, legs tightening around his waist again.
âR-Rafe,â you whimpered, hating how weak you sounded, how desperate.
His smirk was infuriating, but fuck, it was hot.
âThatâs what I thought,â he murmured, his pace quickening, each thrust deeper than the last. âYouâre mine. Always have been.â
And then he slammed into you one last time, hitting that perfect spot inside you, and the orgasm tore through you, leaving you gasping and trembling in his arms. You cried out, head thrown back against the lockers as your body shook with the force of it, your nails raking down his back.
Rafe groaned, his grip on you tightening as he rode out your orgasm, his movements growing sloppier, more erratic. His forehead pressed against yours, his breath coming in short, ragged gasps.
âFuck, baby,â he moaned, his hips jerking against yours as he finally let go, his release hitting hard. You felt the warmth of him spill inside you, as he held you against him, buried deep.
The second his breathing slowed and his grip on you loosened, reality came crashing back in.Â
What the fuck had you done?
You pushed at his chest, trying to put some space between you, but he wasnât letting go that easily. His arms stayed wrapped around you, his body pressed against yours like he still had something to prove.
âGet off,â you muttered, your voice weak, but sharper than before.
He chuckled, that low, arrogant sound that drove you crazy. âThatâs not what you were saying five minutes ago.â
You shot him a glare, shoving at his chest again, harder this time. âIâm serious, Rafe. Move.â
Reluctantly, he let go, stepping back just enough for you to slide off the locker and onto shaky legs. You stumbled a bit, and Rafeâs hand shot out to steady you, but you jerked away from him, pulling your jeans back up with shaky hands.
He leaned against the locker, smirking like he hadnât just torn your world apart all over again. âYouâre welcome, by the way.â
You wanted to scream at him, to throw something at his face. But instead, you grabbed your shirt off the floor, yanking it over your head as you tried to steady your breath.
âGood luck finding your date.â
Elijah. Youâd come to the game with Elijah.
You shook your head as you zipped up your jeans and ran your fingers through your hair, trying to look somewhat presentable. You avoided looking at him, knowing that if you did, youâd see the smug satisfaction on his face that would only make you feel worse.
He pushed himself off the locker and took a step closer to you. You flinched, stepping back instinctively. âThis canât happen again.â
His smirk slipped for a moment as he looked at you. H e closed the distance between you in two strides, his hand reaching out to grab your wrist, pulling you toward him before you could react, âYouâre choosing him?â
You yanked your wrist out of his grip, your heart racing as you forced yourself to take a step back, putting distance between the two of you, âYouâre the one who chose yourself.â
His eyes darkened, searching your face, like he couldnât believe what youâd just said. Maybe he thought he still had you wrapped around his finger.
âYouâre the one who walked away,â you added, hating how your voice trembled, âSo donât act like I owe you anything.â
Rafeâs hand hovered like he was about to reach for you again, but he didnât. âThatâs not how I remember it.âÂ
Your stomach twisted, âIâm not doing this anymore. I canâtââ You glanced at the door, feeling the weight of Elijah waiting for you. The one person who was good for you, who actually wanted to be with you.
But the worst part? You were still thinking about Rafe. Even after everything, you were still here, breathless, a mess because of him.
He took a step closer, his eyes locked on yours, and for a second, you thought he might apologize. Maybe say something real. But Rafe Cameron didnât do apologies.Â
He raised an eyebrow, âReally?â His hand lifted, brushing a strand of hair out of your face in a gesture that was far too intimate, given everything that had just happened. âThen why are you still standing here?â
You flinched, stepping back. Why were you still standing there? You had no good answer, at least not one you were ready to admit.
âGo back to your date,â Rafe continued, his voice mocking now, âPretend like heâs enough for you.â
You bit the inside of your cheek, trying to keep the tears at bay. You couldnât give him that satisfaction, not again. âYouâre wrong.â
Rafe let out a low chuckle, shaking his head. âI donât think I am.â
You squeezed your eyes shut, throat tight, trying to push back the tears. This was all wrong. It was always wrong with Rafe, âStop.â
It sounded like a pleaâa plea for him to stop talking, stop looking at you like that, stop making you feel so small and yet so overwhelmed all at once.
Rafe sighed, stepping back just a fraction, and for a second, his gaze lifted. But it wasnât enough. It never was. âIâm not trying to hurt you,â he said, his voice softer now, like that made a difference.
âYou always do,â you shot back, finally meeting his eyes. The truth slipped out before you could stop it, and there it was.
His jaw clenched, "I donât mean to," he muttered, his voice low. "You know that."
"Does it even matter?" You felt the bitterness rise in your throat, along with something elseâsomething fragile and painful. "You still do it. Whether you mean to or not."
Rafe stayed quiet, and you hated that silence. He didnât have an answer. He never did, not for this. Your fingers fumbled with the zipper of your jacket, something to keep your hands busy so you wouldnât look at him, wouldnât say something youâd regret. But regret was already everywhere, suffocating you both.
âI thought we were past this,â you said finally, barely more than a whisper. âI thought I was past this.â But clearly, you werenât. Clearly, some part of you was still here, with him, in the wreckage youâd both created.
He ran a hand through his hair, looking frustrated, torn. âItâs not that simple.â
"It should be." Your voice cracked. You hated how much this hurt. How much he could still hurt you.
It wasnât fair. You werenât supposed to still care this much. You werenât supposed to still feel this.
Rafe sighed, taking another step back, giving you space. But it wasnât the kind of space you wanted. It wasnât the kind that would make things easier. âI donât know what you want from me,â he admitted quietly, his eyes searching yours for something he couldnât find.
You swallowed, the lump in your throat making it hard to breathe. "I donât want anything from you."Â
That was the truth, or at least it was supposed to be. You didnât want anything he had to offer, not anymore. Not when every time you reached for it, it slipped through your fingers like water, leaving you emptier than before.
But there was still that ache, that feeling between you two, the one that dragged you back here even when you knew better. You wished you could kill it, cut it out of you like some infected part, but it was tangled too deep. And maybe a small part of you didnât want to.
âYou keep saying that,â he murmured, his voice almost tender, like he was seeing right through you. âBut youâre still here.â
âI donât know why,â you whispered, blinking back tears. Fuck, you hated this. Hated how vulnerable you felt, how easily he could unravel you, even now. âI shouldnât be.â
He didnât say anything, just stood there, watching you, like he was waiting for you to make the next move. Like he wanted you to figure it out on your own.
But you didnât know how. You never did when it came to him.
"Iâm sorry," he said, and this time, it felt real. There was no arrogance. Just Rafe, standing there, as broken as you felt. "I donât know how to fix this."
You let out a bitter laugh, wiping at your eyes with the back of your hand. âThereâs nothing left to fix, Rafe. Weâve already destroyed it.â
His face twisted, like he didnât want to believe it. Like he was still holding onto some small piece of hope. "We couldâ"
"No," you cut him off, shaking your head. "We canât."
You couldnât keep doing this. The push and pull, the endless cycle of hurt and apologies that never really fixed anything. You couldnât keep pretending that something would change, that he would change.
Because you both knew he wouldnât.
He took a breath, exhaling slowly, and you could see itâthe realization sinking in.Â
He knew it too. "I never wanted to lose you," he admitted quietly.
You swallowed hard, your chest tight. "You already did."
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wicked game
summary: you try to seduce the unpopular virgin to win a bet with your stepbrother. your stepbrother wants to sleep with you and you want his car. but the virgin guy has more to offer... pairing: loser virgin!haechan x popular girl!reader genre: angst, romance, smut, high school setting warnings: the bet trope my beloved, manipulative stepbrother!jeno, ex-boyfriend!mark, innapropriate groping in school, one non-consensual cheek kiss, past man-eater y/n, lowkey corruption kink, lots of kissing, handjob, blowjob, eating out, attachment issues, protected sex (unbelievable), classmates to lovers, non-consensual photo-taking, breakfast in bed, break-up, no pain no gain author's note: this is loosely based on the movie Cruel Intentions minus the dying part; disclaimer: this is a work of fiction, i don't actually think Jeno is an A-hole, i just needed such a character for the sake of the plot word count: 3.7k
You're bored. Being the most popular, prettiest and richest girl in high school is not enough to satisfy your greed. Boys are literally throwing themselves at you in every corner. It's almost too easy. You want a challenge. Something to make the last year of school a memorable one. Something fun.
So, when your stepbrother Jeno presents you with an idea, you accept it eagerly.
"If you're so bored, why don't I propose a bet?"
"What kind of a bet?" you eye him curiously.
"See that guy Haechan? I heard he's a virgin and saving himself for his one ~true love~. How fucking pathetic is that?"
"So? What is it to me?" you scoff, though you already have a feeling where this is going.
"If you manage to seduce that fucking loser, I'll give you my Jaguar."
"Oh, that's very tempting," you smirk. "And if I don't?"
"Then, you'll sleep with me," Jeno whispers in your ear.
"Ew, as if. You're my brother," you make a gagging motion.
"Stepbrother," Jeno points out.
"Still, it's gross," you shake your head.
"Are you scared you'll lose?" Jeno sticks his tongue out.
"I haven't agreed to the bet yet," you answer.
But Jeno knows you too well. You are already thinking of ways to ruin that poor boy Haechan.
You approach him that same day, sitting on the empty seat on his desk. Asking him to do homework together...
"Why would I want to spend time with you?" Haechan spits out.
Ouch. Little one is too feisty for a regular loser. This might be more interesting than you initially thought.
"Why not? If you hang out with me, people will think you're cool," you try to attack where you believe it'll sting.
"So? Popularity isn't everything, you know?" Haechan rolls his eyes. "Besides, people who peak in high school spend the rest of their lives leading a mediocre, non-satisfying existence."
Damn. Pretty harsh. You didn't anticipate this would be so difficult. Oh well, all the more motivation to try harder.
"You admit it, then? That I'm at my peak right now," you smile flirtatiously, running a finger across his face.
"It doesn't matter to me where you think you are," Haechan glares at you, grabbing your finger and removing it from his skin. "As long as you get out of my face."
Gee, so aggressive.
"Did I ever do something to you?"
"No, but you messed with my best friend Mark's head. Leading him to believe you cared for him and then ditching him is so not cool. Now, piss off," Haechan grunts angrily.
You don't even remember half of the names of the guys you slept with. But you do remember Mark. He was really sweet. And if you could feel something at all, it would have been guilt. But back when you were with Mark, your mother had just announced she's getting re-married to Jeno's father. So, you were angry at everyone and everything. And you took it all out on Mark.
"Well, I can't change the past, so don't blame me without knowing the circumstances."
"It doesn't matter anyway. Mark found a girl much better than you who's treating him right."
"What about you? Got someone special taking care of you?" you touch him again, this time more forward and shameless, trying to elicit a reaction out of him. Sneaking your hand underneath the desk and caressing him fondly.
"It's n-none of your b-business," Haechan stammers but he doesn't remove your hand this time. Oh, he's so touch-starved this is going to be a lot of fun. For you.
"I could take care of you, you know? Turn all your wildest dreams into reality."
"I know what you are," Haechan shakes his head.
"A vampire!" you gasp in mock surprise.
"Ha-ha, very funny," Haechan fakes a smile. "You're a man-eater. You fuck around with guys and then you leave them to rot. I want nothing to do with you."
"Really? Then, why haven't you removed my hand yet?" you remind him, though perhaps you shouldn't have.
Haechan grabs your wrist, pushing you away firmly.
"You're wrong, you know," you try to convince him of your sincerity. "I'm just as eager to find someone who loves me. Someone worth staying for."
"And what, you expect me to believe that someone is me?" Haechan stares at you sceptically.
"Let's find out, shall we?" you give him a quick kiss on the cheek before he can escape.
And then, you let him be. Enough torture for day one.
You start interacting with Haechan every day. During the first month, you are consumed with thoughts of Jeno's bet. The abominable idea of sleeping with your stepbrother is enough to keep you going. Of course, you know he's not gonna force you into it. But you need the motivation to not lose the bet anyway. The gorgeous car is also pretty seductive.
During the second month, you are consumed with thoughts of Haechan. You begin to realize how lovely, clever and funny he is. And the fact he's even letting you spend time with him is enough to make you happy. You're no longer bored. Because everyday you have something fun to look forward to. You spend time at the school library, doing homework together, occasionally sending memes to each other. You go on little walks and picnics at the park. You even go to the cinema a couple of times, bonding over your shared love for horror movies.
During the third month, the miracle happens. Haechan decides he trusts you enough to invite you over to his place one evening. He even makes the point of notifying you that his parents aren't home. What does he mean by that? Is this an opportunity for you to finally seduce him?
Naturally, you don't get much homework done, before Haechan starts kissing you out of nowhere. You kiss him back eagerly.
"W-what are you doing?" you ask as you notice Haechan has started unbuttoning his jeans.
"I t-thought you wanted this. S-sorry," Haechan looks down, feeling ashamed all of a sudden. He's in a hurry to zip himself again. God, you feel so cruel.
"I d-do," you admit, no longer giving a shit about that stupid bet. "But I don't want to rush you into anything you're not ready for."
"So, you've heard about what I said at that fucking party?"
"What did you say?" you ask, even though you have an idea of what it involves.
"That I'm saving it for someone special," It being his virginity, you suppose. "Someone who loves me. To be honest, I was really drunk that night. I don't care all that much anymore."
"It's okay to have your principles, Haechan," you try to reassure him and stroke his soft hair gently. "I think it's pretty admirable, actually."
Haechan shakes his head, visibly disagreeing.
"Well, it's fine. I'm ready for this, I promise. Just...don't leave right after, okay?" he pouts.
"Oh, Haechan, of course I won't leave," you reply and surprise yourself in that you really mean it.
Kissing him deeper, you finish what he started and take off his jeans. You touch his cock softly, as if it's the most precious thing in the world. You've done this hundreds of time with guys you didn't give a fuck about and felt nothing, the actions methodical and quick. But this, right now, is more special than your limited vocabulary could ever describe. You realize you genuinely don't want to hurt him. You bow down and envelop your lips around his length. He gets hard easily, considering it's his first time. You suck on him a couple of times and he cums even faster than you anticipated. But for some reason, it's never tasted sweeter.
"S-sorry," Haechan mumbles shyly.
"It's okay, my sweet boy," you coo in his ear, after you're done swallowing his cum. You run your hands through his hair once again. God, it's so silky. You could never get enough of him.
"W-what do I d-do now?" he asks cutely.
"Whatever you want, mon ange," you kiss him once more.
"C-can I eat you out?" Haechan inquires.
Oh, so virgin boy is not so clueless, after all.
"Sure, I guess," you shrug. Not really a huge fan of that, the few times guys have offered, they quickly grow tired of it and could never make you cum as hard as you could by yourself. But it's okay. If Haechan wants to...
"Just...guide me, okay?" he pleads adorably and soon, you find out he needs no guidance at all.
What he lacks in experience, he definitely makes up for with enthusiasm. He seems so eager to please you, licking and biting and kissing your pussy that you cum faster than you have in...well, ever, actually. You grip his hair for support, panting and chanting his name like a prayer.
"Was that alright?" Haechan feigns a self-conscious smile, though judging by your reaction, his smile is already turning into a proud smirk. That bastard.
"Are you kidding? It was...out of this world," you say honestly. Funny thing about honesty is how something that used to be so difficult for you comes so easily to you when you're with Haechan.
"Glad to hear," he grins widely. You want to kiss him every second till the rest of your life. The thought terrifies you.
"I s-should go," you try to get up. You can't do this. You can't be the one to take his virginity. Considering how this all started. It'd be too cruel. He should be with someone special, someone loves him more than anything, someone who'd never hurt him.
"W-what, w-why?" Haechan asks, grabbing your wrist in a panic, not wanting to let go. "I thought you liked me."
"I do like you. I like you so much. That's the problem."
"It doesn't have to be," Haechan disagrees, pushing you back on the bed. "Please, let me."
And here you thought you'd be the one begging him to have sex with you.
"O-okay," you can no longer find it in yourself to deny him. To deny your growing feelings...
Haechan digs through his jeans and pulls out a condom. His hands are shaking and he's having a hard time putting it on so you help him and pull him out of his misery. You give him a soft, reassuring smile, paired with a quick squeeze of his hand. He smiles back just as fondly.
And then he slides inside you so easily. As if he belongs there. As if he's meant to be yours. You kiss him desperately to distract yourself from the truth. To hide the tears that are threatening to come out.
"You f-feel so g-good," Haechan grunts in your ear.
"So do you, baby," you admit sincerely.
This time around, he lasts longer, fucking you until your release comes for the second time. He cums right after, with his hands touching your cheeks, his lips on your neck and his heart on his sleeve.
"Wanna stay inside you forever," he whispers once it's over.
"That wouldn't be very practical," you chuckle. Though you would like nothing more.
But he gets up to get rid of the condom and then comes back, hugging you tightly.
"Can you be my girlfriend?" Haechan blurts out. "I know you probably don't like clingy guys but...considering you've been pursuing me for the past three months, I thought..."
"I'll be your girlfriend," you agree rightaway, not giving a shit about the consequences. "Of course, I will."
He laughs, the sound so precious and filled with joy it breaks your heart.
Maybe he never has to know how it all began. Maybe you could hide it from him forever. Maybe...you could allow yourself to be happy. Just this once.
Soon, Haechan falls asleep, feeling comfortable around you. You know what you have to do, but you feel like shit anyway. You secretly take a picture of his half-naked figure sleeping soundly. You sigh quietly and send the photo to your stepbrother Jeno.
Then, you put your phone down, trying to forget about the whole ordeal. You cuddle up next to Haechan and enjoy his warmth until you fall asleep.
The next morning, you wake up before Haechan and quickly run out to make him some breakfast. You have no idea when his parents will be home but you don't want this to be their first impression of you. So, you leave the breakfast on Haechan's nightstand with a little note.
See you at school, boyfriend! XOXO, Y/N.
Rushing back home, you are satisfied when Jeno gives you the car keys to his Jaguar without protesting. Your stepbrother may be kinda freaky, but at least he's a man of his word. What gives you the creeps is the slight smirk on his face as he hands you the keys. As if he didn't lose the bet. As if he's the winner.
You try not to think about it too much, as you get dressed for school, excited to see Haechan again. You still can't believe he asked you to be his girlfriend. That pretty, sweet boy makes you so unbelievably happy. You look forward to spending more moments in his sunny company.
Haechan wakes up to the smell of warm pancakes, covered with chocolate and strawberries and accompanied by coffee. It immediately brings a smile on his face, which only becomes wider as he sees the little note you left him. He giddily enjoys the breakfast and then rushes to get dressed for school. You're his girlfriend! He's never had a girlfriend and he's so pleased you're being so nice to him. Maybe you really are better than people say and all that past drama was just everyone being jealous of your beauty and popularity...This is going to be the best day of his life.
But when he gets to school, everything changes. He knows that he's considered one of the "losers" in the hierarchy but usually people just ignore him and don't pay attention to him. He's fine with that, really! But today, whenever he walks by, people are snickering and whispering something. It feels so weird and makes him uncomfortable. He can't quite hear what they're saying and this kind of unexpected treatment is killing him.
He goes to his friend Mark to ask him what's up.
"Bro...I don't know how to tell you this," Mark looks away, as if the thing is so bad he can't even say it.
Haechan impatiently begs him to just enlighten him as to why everyone is giving him weird looks all day.
Mark sighs and shows him a secreenshot. There, he sees a photo of himself, half-naked and sleeping soundly. Fuck, that's from last night. And what the messages between you and your stepbrother Jeno reveal...shocks Haechan out of his senses. No...no way it was just a bet. No way you spent three months courting him for a fucking car?! This can't be true. It's gotta be Photoshopped or something.
"Listen, buddy, I warned you that she likes messing with guys and then leaving them."
"No, she...she really seemed to care about me," Haechan is still in denial as his vision becomes blurred with tears.
He runs away, unable to believe what is happening. He needs to speak to you. Hear it from your own lips. To be sure this is real and not just a sick joke.
When he finally finds you, he grabs your wrist as he did just yesterday. But this time, he's not doing to get you to stay. But because he's furious.
"Is it true? Did you really make a bet with Jeno on whether you can fuck me? Did you seriously do all of that over a car?!"
Your facial expressions are enough of an answer. Guilt. Something you never thought you were capable of.
"H-haechan, I swear I can explain," you beg him to hear you out.
"Explain? How can you explain that?" Haechan shakes his head, letting go of your hand. You try to touch him again but he shoves you off furiously.
"It was just a bet at the very beginning. But somewhere along the way, I really started having feelings for you, I promise," you cry passionately. "I don't care about the car, I'll fucking thrash it, I just wanted to get Jeno off my back."
Haechan takes a step back, feeling so betrayed. So...used.
"Whatever you say, I don't think I can believe you anymore. Was it fun, at least? Was this all just a wicked game to you?"
"N-no, it wasn't, I swear it," you are bawling at this point, feeling so pitiful. You don't care if the whole school sees. You only care that Haechan understands. You never meant things to go this far... "I truly care about you, Haechan."
"Yeah?" he scoffs, annoyed. "You only care about yourself."
And with that he leaves. And you lose the one person you truly, genuinely loved.
This is the worst day of your life.
Throughout the rest of the school year you don't dare approach him again. You know you fucked up so badly. You can't even look at that stupid car, let alone consider driving it, so you sell it. Partly because you're angry at Jeno for spreading the screenshot around the whole school. Partly because you no longer want to have anything that will remind you of the biggest mistake you ever made.
With the money you get for the car and some of your own savings, you secretly sponsor Haechan, Mark and their other friends' singing club. You don't even want Haechan to find out. It just...feels right. They could use the extra help.
As the final year of school nears its end, you begin to imagine a future where you never get to see Haechan again. At least, during the past couple of months you had the privilege of looking at him from a distance. But the idea of a world with no Haechan is like a world with no sun.
So, you decide you have to do something as soon as possible. He doesn't have to forgive you or accept you as a girlfriend again. You just want to be in his life in some form.
As you approach the school's radio booth, you feel all the bad things of your past coming back to bite you in the ass. Maybe you deserve to be forever alone. But you need to give it a try. It's your last chance.
"Hi, Mark," you greet your ex-boyfriend.
"What do you want, Y/N?" he sighs, not at all happy to see you.
"Before I get to that, let me just say how sorry I am for the way I treated you in the past. I'm really happy you're finally with someone who appreciates you for how totally awesome you are."
"That's...unexpectedly nice of you to say," Mark eyes you suspiciously. "We were never right for each other anyway. So, what do you want?"
"I want to apologize to Haechan. Through a message broadcasted to the whole school..."
"Gee, and you couldn't do it the old-fashioned way, face to face?" Mark jokes.
"Haechan doesn't wanna see me," you say, fully convinced.
"How would you know without trying?" Mark asks. Has...Haechan told him something? No, you couldn't allow yourself to hope.
"I just know, okay? Please, let me do this. We're graduating in one week, this might be my last chance to talk to Haechan."
Mark nods, agreeing.
"Five minutes," he takes off his headphones and vacates the seat in the radio booth for you.
"Thank you! I mean it," you have never been more grateful for anything.
Mark shrugs as if it's not a big deal and leaves you to it.
"I want to dedicate this so someone I hurt," you speak into the microphone. "Someone who didn't deserve it. Someone very dear to me. Someone I still care deeply about. Haechan, I'm so incredibly sorry, please, give me another chance."
And you start singing.
The world was on fire and no one could save me but you It's strange what desire will make foolish people do I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you
Your voice is off-key a couple of times and halfway through the song you start crying inconsolably, all the guilt and pain consuming you. The whole school is probably laughing at you but you can no longer bring yourself to care. The only thing that matters is that Haechan hears this.
When you finish the song, you leave the radio booth and are surprised to find Haechan right outside the door, willing to talk to you.
"H-haechan," you stammer and barely resist the urge to give him a hug. You don't want him to feel pressured or anything.
"I'll give you a second chance on one condition. I want Jeno's Jaguar," Haechan jokes.
"Too bad, I already sold it and donated the money to your music club so you guys can get new instruments and stuff."
"YOU DID WHAT?!" Haechan exclaims. He doesn't sound angry, though, just...shocked.
"Sorry, sorry, I know it wasn't my place. But it was so unfair the football team and the cheerleading team get so much money but no one cares about the arts."
"Okay, okay, I guess this is better than that ugly car," Haechan chuckles. The car is not ugly. Not even a little bit. But you appreciate Haechan all the more for saying that.
"Can you really forgive me?" you ask desperately, eyes still watery.
"I can forgive you but I'll probably never forget," Haechan admits with a sigh. "If you break my trust again..."
"I won't, I swear!" you vow seriously. "I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you and treating you the way you deserve. You're the best person I've ever met, Haechan. If you'll have me, I want to be around you forever."
"Forever is a long time" Haechan muses out loud. "Considering we're going to college...I don't even know where you're applying."
"I'll go wherever you go," you say hurriedly.
"You can't give up on your dreams just for me, though."
"I'm not. You're my dream, Haechan. You're my sun and I want to be in your orbit. If you'll allow me, that is," you can't take it any longer and hold his hand softly, asking, begging for that second chance not to slip away.
"I'll allow it," Haechan smiles sweetly. "Let's run towards our dreams together, from now on."
"I won't let you down," you promise from the depths of your heart.
And you finally, truly mean it.
The End
#nct#haechan#nct smut#haechan smut#nct dream smut#lee donghyuck smut#nct 127 smut#haechan x reader#nct hard thoughts#nct hard hours#haechan hard thoughts#haechan hard hours#nct imagines#haechan imagines#writing#nct angst#haechan angst
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At this point, if you can't come up with good reasons to keep the show running, don't accept the renewal offer. Wrap it up and move on. I fell in love with this show because of the found family-ness, and now I'm not really looking forward to this season. Hell, I didn't even watch the new episodes as they came out.
All of the people behind the scenes have changed this show from what it truly was, and it makes me so sad. I'm aware that this happens to shows all the time, where the last season or two are the worst. I'm still going to love this show anyways but I will probably write off anything post season 7, which is easy enough to do.
But now nothing actually interesting happens. I personally love the opening disasters because usually they set the tone for the season as a whole, but the ball was dropped in every way this time. All of those side characters gave the show so much substance, now everything is just going in circles. There is nothing left in this show that makes me think, "this is family". I miss the conversations in the engine. I miss Athena and Hen drinking wine and shooting the shit together. I miss all of the domestic scenes that gave this show life.
I have always loves shows where the seasons are 18+ episodes long, because it meant that we got to have episodes where the characters did the most ridiculous, pointless thing together, like the whole episode about the treasure hunt and not have it be jam-packed with constantly changing, rushed plot lines. It created a nice balance.
It's like they have forgotten what the show was built on, and decided to say fuck it, we do whatever the hell we want. They are ignoring foundational elements of every single character too. I am really tempted to march my way down to LA and write out a plan for how they can fix this.
I actually have sooo many issues with 911 lately that haven't even got much to do with any ships.
Like. They wrote out almost all of the side characters. Chris is gone, Linda and Sue are gone, Athena's kids are gone (even though Harry just moved in with her and Bobby again? Seriously, where is Harry?), Ravi is gone, Carla is gone. I know the GA maybe don't care that much, casual viewers might not even have noticed that this many characters have just vanished from the show, but in my opinion this is one of the things that give a show running as long as 911 life. Having a big cast is a good thing. Otherwise things are going to get very monotonous very soon.
Actually, that's my second point. They keep repeating storylines! Every season Hen and Karen have to fight a custody battle over one of their kids.
Every season Eddie ends up realising he has a lot of repressed trauma and issues which keep him from leading a healthy happy and free life.
Every season Bathena realise that they have communication issues and they fight about it, but then something traumatic happens and they forgive each other without ever really talking things out.
Every season we are reminded that Maddie's most prominent character trait is "traumatised", the writers just alternatingly bring up Doug again and sometimes the ppd arc.
Every season we see Buck being somewhat restless, looking and searching for something that will bring him true happiness and cycling through love interests that never stick around and each time when you think "oh, there it is, he's getting somewhere now" the writers go "BEEEP! WRONG!" and we start all over again. [This is not just about recent events aka Tommy, the break-up and Buck potentially going back to his 1.0 ways, this also happened in season 6 when he had his "it doesn't matter what other people see in me, I'm enough" revelation only to suddenly be like "omg, Natalia just sees me".]
And Chimney- he had his moment last season with the wedding episode, Kenneth Choi really ate that episode up, but his most prominent character trait is "Maddie's supportive husband". There's really not that much going on with him otherwise.
Another point I briefly touched upon above is consistency. Like Harry moving back in with Athena and Bobby and then just vanishing. Or Gerrard being more like a slightly unfriendly grandpa than an actual antagonist in season 8 when he was still spouting slurs in season 7.
And the timeline! We talked about this before ("last March", Mara's fostering to adoption timeline, Tommy tranferring to harbour "5 years ago"), but the newest "Tommy was actually Abby's Tommy" twist just adds to that. Tommy was with Abby for over 2 years. They were engaged. This was at a time when he was still at the 118. Tommy dated Abby presumably because he was in denial or maybe because he was hiding. In either case, wouldn't his team at least have heard about his fiancĂŠe, Abby the dispatcher? Wouldn't that have rung a bell when Buck eventually brought her around only a year or two later? Tommy did talk about his private life at least a little at work, even under Gerrard. It just doesn't make sense. (Not to mention this seems wildly out of character for Tommy who around the same time also said about himself "being single is easier".)
Then there's the pacing. This was a huge issue in season 7. They jumped from one personal soap opera drama to the next without taking any breathers, had almost no procedural in their drama the whole season, still somehow decided to spend one third of the entire season just on the opening disaster and also squeezed in a "Bobby begins for the third time now" episode. But okay, it was a shortened season, there were strikes, they switched networks, they were under a lot of pressure - I'll cut them some slack. At least they set up a bunch of interesting stuff for the following season.
But we're in season 8 now. The renewal was announced very early, they had a lot of time to plan this time. Also they have almost double the episodes they had last season, there's really no need to rush any of the major plots. I am done cutting them slack.
They wanna do a 3 part opening disaster again? Okay fine, you have the time now. I feel like they could've easily done it in 2 episodes (especially 8x02 felt a little "eh"), but okay. Better than the breakneck speed you were going at befo- Oh, what's that? 8x04 flying in with a steel chair. You resolved 70% percent of the plots you set up last season in one single episode with no build up, no emotional pay off and no lasting consequences? And you also squeezed in multiple unrelated calls at the same time? Damn, okay then. Good-bye potentially interesting storylines. Fuck me for being invested I guess. I thought there would at least maybe be some follow up in 8x05, but no.
Now that Halloween episode wasn't bad, it was actually the best episode of this season imo, but instead of following up on previously established conflicts and developments they just hit us with new Wilson family trauma and conflict that was also immediately fixed again. And now 8x06 has speedrun and dumped another storyline that had potential to go to deeper and interesting places. Not gonna talk too much about that though because this post is about the show as a whole, not ships.
And I am not yet convinced that there will be much more to come on the only thing that's left from last season: Eddie's deep dive into his trauma and repression. It's totally possible at this point that being told "you deserve nice things" by a random stranger actually solved all of his problems, it would be very in tone with 911's new style.
What are they even gonna do with the rest of this season? Revisiting the Hotshots set sounds fun, but ultimately inconsequential. You know what's great about a regular old procedural drama with ~20 episodes per season that comes on weekly? You have time. You can let the viewers sit with their emotions and thoughts for a week and keep them engaged by stretching things out a little.
But why should I bother getting emotionally invested in problems the characters are gonna solve within the same episode anyway? Or rather, even if I wanted to, how am I supposed to care if you don't give me the time to develop any feelings about anything that's happening? "Henren lost in court and are now completely forbidden from seeing Mara at all!" Damn, that must be so har- "JUST KIDDING! Ortiz is exposed and everything is perfect again now." Oh. Okay then, I guess.
Bottom line: The characters are all stuck in their own hamster wheels, they keep cutting side characters that could bring a breeze of fresh air (I'm honestly surprised they even kept Josh until now), they rush through all the storylines a such a ridiculous speed that I don't even have time to feel any sort of way about it, they don't even try to keep a consistency or sensible timeline going and they seem to strongly prioritise random funny bits that'll entertain the very casual viewers right now in this moment (tiger call, Billy Boils, Bee-nado, the 'Stache tm, "wait, it's the same Abby?", Gerrard being a fangirl at heart) instead of playing the long game and catering to people who actually pay a little attention to the show.
[On that last remark: I'm not talking about hardcore fans who analyse every single frame here, I mean casual fans who've watched the show on and off again for a while and who may not be involved in fandom but genuinely care about the show.]
I mean. What am I even still doing here? The show is treading water and I end up disappointed more often than not. I'm still holding out a little hope that they actually will do something interesting with Eddie and his sea-monkeys, but I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't.
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You wake up in the comfort of your home, snuggled in thick fluffy sheets. Despite the cold, birds still chirp outside advising you to start your day already. You stay in bed a little longer today, staring out the window, trying to get a hold of your thoughts.
It's been a good few days since you left that Orcs house, a few days to think about the experience and mull over what to do next.
You jolt out of your thoughts when you see, out the window, quick anxious scampering behind the snow covered bushes. Jumping out of bed, you hastily get dressed, fumbling with your boots and grabbing your trusty bow hanging by the door and a few arrows. You peek outside, sneaking as quietly as possible on the old wooden floor of the stoop, arrow already notched against the bowstring. You can only see the critters ears, twitching, listening for any trouble. It's either a rabbit or a hare, you hope for the latter.
You wait there for a good fifteen minutes, bow strung, waiting for the thing to move just a little to the left of the bush for a better shot. Your fingers burn on the string, didn't have time to grab your gloves. The second it hops slightly out of the bush, you let go of the arrow and send it flying right into the cotton tailed critter.
When you step back inside your warm cottage, you make a beeline for the kitchen with the hare in your hand. It's quite a lucky catch, a large jack. You use this as an excuse, you actually come up with plenty excuses while you prepare a hearty stew. "There's so much meat here, it would be wrong not to share." "If I don't repay him, it'll weigh on me for far too long." "I need to bring him his flask back." "I need a good hike anyway."
Stupid rationales for the absurd idea you have conjured up. Nevertheless, you get out your fanciest ceramic pot and cook your best hare stew. You fret, far more than you'd admit, over how little ingredients you have due to the winter. Come afternoon, and you're trekking the woods, past the Human territory and into unwelcomed lands. You clutch the handle of the basket holding your steaming pot of stew tightly inside and his flask, which you filled with your favourite Red bush tea. This is just so you're even and then you never have to think about this Orc ever again.
Somewhere in your mind you know that's not true, You'll never be able to forget what happened. You were content in your woods, pretending you weren't lonely, why has this Orc changed that? It was easy pushing the cravings down before why is the hunger suddenly so present, so consuming.
You eventually step into the clearing where his home lies, Your thoughts continue to meander as your feet take you straight to the steps into his home. Now, you can't just leave it out for him but you can't just knock on the door and run away either...
You knock on the door three times, taking a deep breath and then cursing yourself for needing to do that. What if he doesn't want to see you again? Sure, he saved you from dying but that doesn't mean he'd want you in his home ag-
The door opens slowly, it takes you a minute to look up from the stone floor of the small veranda but when you do, it's those same dark brown eyes looking back at you. He looks shocked to see you, you expected as much. After a few awkward moments of staring, you hold the basket up with both hands, opening the top to reveal the red ceramic pot and his flask. He looks down at the parcel with a rather blank expression and it makes your skin crawl with anxiety. You gesture for him to take the basket and he quickly, with frustratingly gentle hands, takes it from you. He takes a peek inside the pot, letting the built-up steam poor out and his eyes grow even wider, you can't tell if he likes it or not and it's killing you.
Of course he didn't want to see you. The last time you were together he woke up to you, a stranger, on top of him watching him sleep! Your face is hot with shame, you turn to leave but then hear him say something in Orcish, you turn around to face him. You're a little taken back to see the hopeful look in his eyes as he holds the door open for you, waiting for you to accept his invitation.
Timidly, you step inside. Being here again sends a shiver down your spine. The Orc gently rests the basket on his little (in comparison to him) living room table, then heads to the kitchen. He comes back with a tray of two bowls, two mugs and cutlery. It shocks you how easily you take his silent invitation to stay for dinner as you both set the table as if it's a normal thing for basically strangers to do. While he dishes up hearty portions of steamy stew in rather large bowls, you pour the red tinted tea into the two mugs he brought.
You sit down on opposite sides of the wooden table and dig in. The spoon, like the bowl, is rather big and made out of what appears to be a hard dark wood. As you taste your stew, doubts trickle into your mind. Is it too runny? Is the meat too tough? Do Orcs prefer tougher meat? Is it too bland for him?
The scrape of his chair on the floor interrupts your thoughts and you look up at him. He's scooping up more stew with the serving spoon and plopping it into his empty bowl. You stare at him bewildered, he's already going for seconds. How did he even swallow all that so fast?
He notices you staring and looks embarrassed, like he's done something wrong. You shake your head lightly and gesture for him to continue. He smiles rather bashfully for an Orc and plops another spoon full onto his heaped bowl. You hide the smile that creeps onto your face behind a hot mug of tea.
After the pot has been thoroughly emptied and your stomachs are full, he starts clearing up his side of the table. You go to follow but he swiftly takes your bowl from you, sets it on the tray with everything else and walks off to the kitchen. For a second you sit rather dumbly at the empty table, the sound of splashing water comes from the kitchen as you look around the Orc's abode.
Your eyes are drawn to a packed bookshelf in the corner, you try not to be that impressed that an Orc would willingly read so many books. You imagine you would be pretty insulted if someone said that about you, and you know full well that reading is a lovely way to pass the time in such a quiet life as yours and his.
He steps back into the room holding two mugs of what was left of the tea, you suppose that means he likes it? He places them on the small table in front of the couch and takes a seat. He doesn't show any indication that he expects you to sit with him but you find yourself sinking down next to him anyway.
He picks up a little book on the low table and pages through it, it's green with bold Orcish on the front. You try to seem uninterested with what he's doing, staring down at your tea until he shuffles closer to you, pointing to a specific page in the book. You scrunch your eyebrows and lean closer, reading the text he's pointing to.
"Thank you."
Your breath catches and you read further down the page, seeing bold Orcish words followed by Human Common words.
It's a translation book.
You laugh (more like wheeze) in surprise and disbelief. The Orc looks nervous, looking back at the book to make sure he pointed to the right word. You gently take the book from him and page through it, searching.
After quite a while you finally find it, in what you assume is the "Helpful phrases" section and point it out for him.
"You're welcome."
He lets out a hearty laugh and you grin at the sound. You made him laugh. His eyes crinkle, deepening the crows feet just above his cheeks which seem a darker green than before.
After that you sit together in quiet comfort, drinking the rest of your tea and peeking at the words in his book as he pages through the translations. The book is new, the spine isn't creased from use and the pages are still firm and fresh. Did he get this book because of you?
The thought stirs something strange in your belly and you can't tell if you should invite it in or reject it. Your eyes shift to the window near the door and you jump when you see the sun is setting. How has it been that long?
You rise from the couch and grab your basket, shoving your now clean ceramic pot into it. The Orc looks at you confused, looks towards the window, and then shoots up himself, quickly heading to the kitchen. You shrug your fur coat on at the door and wait patiently for him to return, basket in hand.
He returns with the same flask he gave you the last time you left in a hurry. He may be even more bashful this time he hands it to you and you don't need to open it to know what's inside. You nod your head again in thanks and he smiles wider than you'd think an Orc capable, if you hadn't met him, that is.
You walk out of his house, flask tucked in your basket. When you reach the end of the clearing you turn around and there he is, standing on the veranda watching you leave. You hesitate for a moment and then give him a little wave goodbye. He returns it with his own.
As you walk through thick trees you wonder if the nearby human village has a book vendor. Not for any particular reason.
°ââ.ŕłŕż:シ°ââ.ŕłŕż:シ°ââ.ŕłŕż:シ°ââ.ŕłŕż:シ°
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#Reader slowly finds out what love is. Hope that won't backfire or anything.#orc x reader#monster x human#monster x reader#monster lover#monster fucker#monster boyfriend#terato#orc romance#orc x human#âOrc woodsman
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đđđđđđđđ
đđđđđđđ!đđđđđ đ đđđđ!đđđđ
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⢠+18 minors do not interact. smut without plot, Outdoors sex, fluff, kissing, size kink, established relationship, little thigh humping, pet names etc.
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divider by @anitalenia đ¤
âCâon sweetheart.. mâgonna be lateâ your back gently rubbed against the tree bark as you captured your husbands lips in a soft kiss. You moaned on his lips possibly making him harder than he already was âDonât care..â you pouted opening his vest and a coat revealing his veiny arms. âDonât make me bend you over here princessâ he bit your jaw playfully wrapping his arms around you coaxing you against his chest. âWant you Lo..â you whined rubbing your thighs together. âWhatcha want?â His soft eyes darkened nostrils flaring smelling your arousal. Pushing your legs apart with his knee so you ended up rubbing your sweet little cunt on his thigh. It wasnât enough friction you wanted him right inside of you.
âBeen so long.. want- want youâ you babbled stupidly, inhaling his manly scent getting so worked up. Your nipples pebbled under your dress making him moisten his lips âYeah? Very long.. Iâm workin over here sneakin away to have a little time with ya..â he smiled circling your clit with his thumb making you gasp for breath. âMmmm!â You blushed eagerly opening his belt and his jeans. âFuckâyou makin a mess kittenâ he sighed full of need for your sweet pussy. âOne of the reasons I married you little one.. youâre a such a slut for your husbandâ he picked you up in his arms backing you up against the wide tree, you clung to his shoulders hiding your face in his neck cock drunk and you werenât even filled by him yet. Jeans and boxers falling to his anklesâ he found your little cunt blindly with your panties aside pushing right in you. Nodding rapidly âso needy for youâ
You gasped and trembled by the sheer size of your husband no matter how many times youâve taken him. âDaddy..â you mewled. His hand lied flat on the tree the other arm held you right under your thighs. His hips started on slower pace but the moment he heard his men cutting down more trees, and the chainsaws in the distance he buried his face against your tits groaning at the smell and feel of you. âFuck fuck fuck..â grunting possessively gripping you in his hold picking up the speed sliding in and out of you pounding you quicker. You cried out against his neck placing your hands on his butt to pull him even closer wrapping your legs around his waist âI canât.. canât.. lastâ you shut your eyes tipping your head back against the tree your body jolting upwards rapidly as your husband started to pound your little cunt silly. Your wetness allowing him an easy slide but god your moans could be heard by his entire work crew you didnât care. âDaddy! Daddy!â You babbled again as broken whimpers and mewls fell out of your lips, Logan was feral watching your gorgeous tits nearly jumping out of your dress in his face slapping his heavy balls against your ass by delivering you quick strokes filling you out repeatedly. Belly tight with warmth which turned to heat and it pooled in your pussy clenching around his veiny cock. âUghhhhâ you groaned grabbing his thick mane with one of your hands and Logan moaned on your lips kissing you brushing his tongue over yours. You both chased your orgasms and soon you made a mess on his cock, your cunt was then filled with his cream to the fullest moments later. âFuck fuck fuckkkâ he whimpered out hiding his sweaty face against your neck.
After calming down for few moments you spend time kissing, his kisses were made of everything woman needed in her life and you clung to him keeping him warm inside of you. âCanât stay princess.. Iâm on the jobâ he chuckled and you pouted again pretending like he just havenât rearranged your brain in your skull. âAlready? Mâgonna miss you husband..â you kissed his forehead. âMe too bubâ he sighed not wanting to part away from you but he had to get back to work. Saying goodbye to him was always hard but you were all happy because in the evening youâd repeat this all in your bed.
After all⌠Logan was an insatiable lover.
#origins logan howlett#logan howlett x female reader#logan howlett fluff#logan howlett imagine#logan howlett fanfiction#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x you#logan howlett#logan xmen#hugh jackman#hugh jackman fanfic#hugh jackman fluff#hugh jackman x reader#hugh jackman x y/n#hugh jackman x you#hugh jackman x female reader#logan howlett smut#wolverine fanfiction#wolverine xmen#the wolverine#wolverine#james logan howlett#marvel fanfiction#x men fanfiction#x men#logan x reader#logan x you#logan wolverine#logan howlett xmen#wolverine x f!reader
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141 x POC!GN Intelligence Operative - Say the Word Author's Notes: I have no clue how the military works or even how a base looks like and not gonna lie I donât respect it enough to do research. Warnings: MDNI, Racism
Ghost really wished he was a better man. Because a better man would have thanked you for your gift instead of ridicule you for it. A better man would have dropped everything to be at your side. A better man would have chosen you over duty.Â
But alas Ghost is just a ghost. A husk of a man. A monster.Â
But if thereâs one silver lining here is that only a monster can recognize another monster and Ghost knew that look in Niktoâs eyes â itâs the same one he sees everyday in the mirror. Ghost couldnât protect you from himself but that doesnât mean he wonât try to protect you from this new monster.Â
So as you inch your face closer to Niktoâs mask to hear him, Ghost does not hesitate to rip you from the Russianâs jaws.Â
âNikto!â he barks. Nikto slowly turns, almost annoyed by the sudden intrusion while you fly back, feeling ashamed for⌠talking. When this is all over, Ghost will rid you of this guilt. He promises.Â
âYou should stand next to me. Will make it easier when I introduce you to the rookies,â Ghost explains. The two lieutenants were tasked in going over basic combat skills with the rookies.Â
(And you were here because youâve been wanting to dust off your own skills and after you heard Nikto was joining Ghost this time around, you felt more comfortable in joining.)
Nikto begrudgingly makes his way over to Ghost, leaving you alone on the mats. And just on cue, the rookies walk into the training room. They surround you with sadly, your âfavoritesâ opting to stand at both of your sides.Â
Ghost quickly introduces Nikto and splits the room in half. One half would work with Nikto while the other with him. Ghost pretends not notice the âhelp meâ look your shot at Nikto when you got stuck with him. That was his imagination⌠that had to be in his head.Â
Ignoring the tightness in his chest, Ghost walks up to his group and quickly goes over todayâs lesson plan: submission, how to take down your opponent without any weapons. Easy and just the perfect way to get under you⌠for professional reasons, of course. After calling you as his partner, which your eyes nearly popped out of your head when he said so, he asks the rest to pair up and take a spot on the mats.Â
However, before the group split, one of the rookies that especially loved to give you a hard time, spoke up.Â
âLieutenant, quick question?âÂ
âMake it quick,â Ghost snaps. You are literally about to throw him to the ground. He needs this rookie to shut up.Â
âDoes the pencil pusher really need to be here? Theyâre literally just taking space,â he asks. The rookie shoots you a taunting smile.Â
You couldnât believe it. You felt your body go hot.
âSay that one more time,â you spit back. You got in his face. Fuck professionalism.Â
And it seemed like the rookie agreed as he got in your face as well. âLearn your fucking place,â he hisses. âYouâre just a means to check off a box. No one actually wants you here so why donât you go back to your office and fuck off, â!â Your ears start ringing at that last word. He towers over you and stares straight into your eyes. Pure hatred is in his eyes.Â
You havenât felt this level of anger in so long. Fuck this guy. Fuck this job. Fuck the 141. Fuck the military. Fuck everyone. You pull your arm back ready to swing whenâŚ
Nikto flies past you, throwing the rookie to the ground. He starts to wail on the dumb fuck. The rookieâs little posse tries to pull Nikto off but itâs no useâ Nikto pushes them off like nothing. You remain still and watch the scene before you.Â
And youâre not the only one. Ghost is in utter shock. In the matter of seconds, Ghost was cockblocked, you were disrespected, and a rookie was getting his face caved in and Ghost didnât do anything. He just watched. Ghost is a man of action. But he just couldnât at this moment. Why?
âLieutenant!â one of the rookies shriek. That finally breaks Ghost of his trance. He rushes over to Nikto and pries the man off the rookie. The fellow lieutenant fights back. However before Ghost can really get into it with the Russian, your voice is heard.Â
âNikto,â you say. No emotion, just a statement. You look at the two and just shake your head. Nikto stops and moves towards you. He cradles your face and gently buds his head into yours. He grabs your hand and begins to walk out the training room with you when he turns around.Â
He stares daggers in Ghostâs face and hisses.
âAsk yourself this lieutenant! Why did he feel comfortable enough to disrespect your teammate in front of your face?âÂ
And with that he leaves with you, leaving Ghost with the question he didn't know the answer to.
Word Count: 838
More Thoughts - Next Thought
#cod x reader#cod x poc!reader#cod fanfic#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#nikto x reader#141 x reader
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OKAY FINE YOU HORNY SLUTS
you get smut đđ this is the last time i'm installing on this tho
pairing: dom!billie eilish x sub!fem!reader
summary: part 2 to this fic, which is based off this ramble (idk why this is such a rabbit hole omfg)
warnings: RPF!! donât like, donât read, THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING SMUT bear with me đđđť, hickeys, oral, overstimulation, i guess a little bit of cum play??, pet names (mama, ma, sweet girl, baby), strap + strap sucking, aftercare (all r receiving)
word count: 1,757, should take about thirteen and a half minutes to read
listen to: needy by ariana grande
finneas walked back to his room without a second glance. and as soon as the door shut, your girlfriend took the blanket off you. "come here. we're good now."
IT TOOK ONLY a matter of seconds for her to pounce on you. you'd only ever seen her like this a few times before. but every time it happened, you would try your best to ravish the feeling. because when billie was like this, you were getting treated right until you were ruined.
your back lay flush against the fluffy hotel pillows while your girlfriend grabbed your face and kissed you. rough. hard. almost with a force that knocked the wind out of you. oh ya, you were getting fucked.
she didn't stay near your face for long. but instead of reaching for your neck like she usually did, she instead reached for the top of your dress. since it was strapless, she was going to have a relatively easy time getting it off. "arms up."
you commanded to her words, putting your hands up as she pulled the shiny dress over your skin. what she found excited her even more. "no bra? oh, baby, you know what you're doing." the nickname. baby. it rolled off her tongue so well, so sultrly. it gave you goosebumps.
"and your nipples are hard?" accentuating her words, she wrapped her hands around your chest and rubbed the buds over her thumbs. not with any pressure, though. just so you could feel it there. "this is evidence, sweet girl. you found that hot and you know it."
suddenly, you felt a sharp pinch on your right nipple. it made you gasp. she just smirked and leaned down, quickly using her tongue to soothe the pain. you threw your head back as she started to rub your left nipple like previously.
after a while, when she was satisfied, she pulled away and switched nipples. it was like a game to her to see how much you could take. she, at some point, started to suck so hard you swore it would leave marks.
one she felt she had enough, she took her mouth off you. she stuck her tongue out, running a line down your cleavage. she went slowly, her tongue trailing down your body feeling like fire. her tongue quickly dipped in the trench of your belly button before reaching just above your clit.
right as she reached your pussy, she looked up at you. there were no words exchanged, but you could tell what she was asking you. if this was okay. thatâs the thing you loved about your girlfriend. no matter how desperate she was, if you told her to stop, she would. but, as you nodded, her soft gaze got thrown away.
today wasnât a teasing day. hell, barely even a prep day. almost immediately, she was on you like a prisoner eating their final meal.
billie left no mercy as she ate you out. her tongue took on different patterns, too spontaneous with her movement to care.
she seemed to do something new every few seconds. it transitioned from licking up and down your folds to sucking your clit to sliding her tongue down and into your entrance in such a way it made tears form in the corner of your eyes.
you whined and pulled her hair, making her chuckle into you. the action made you seem to fall even harder, the vibrations easing just the right ache.
billie was relentless. it was often she got engulfed in your pussy, not wanting to stop pleasing you until you were begging her not to. but this was different. it was feral the way she was licking up your arousal that was spilling onto her tongue. it was almost like she wanted to completely clean you out, not wanting a single part of you untouched.
once youâd finally announced you were close with a high pitched moan, she didnât even seem as if she heard you. she just kept up, sucking your sensitive bud and rolling her tongue around it.
when you did cum, it was fuzzy. it felt like laying on a cloud. well, only for a bit. until you realized billie was nowhere near done with you, licking up her reward.
â billie, bills! oh my god, bills, i came, i came!â your voice was high pitched as you squirmed, trying to get out of her iron clad grip on your thighs.
for whatever reason, which you didnât expect, she released, making a little âpop!â as if she was just sucking on a lollipop. to her, it was candy either way.
she quickly wiped her mouth with her sleeve before taking her pointer finger and sticking it back inside. you jolted, but she quickly took it out before you could whine again.
it was jarring the way she licked your release off her finger. but it was hot. it made you feel warm all over again, wanting her to devour you again and again and again.
billie crawled back up to kiss you lips. you could taste yourself on her tongue, making you reel. she pulled away quickly, a string of saliva connecting you. âiâm gonna get the strap,â she mumbled frantically.
you nodded, not at all complaining. you laid on your back, eagerly waiting as your girlfriend hopped off the bed and toward her suitcase. of course she brought the strap to a different country. of course she did.
you watched with hungry eyes as she undid the buckle on her belt, shimming her pants down to harness the fake dick around her waist.
as she walked back to the bed, she stopped right at the foot of it. you tilted your head in confusion. âcome here, mama, suck on it.â
you obeyed to her request, hopping off the bed and settling on your knees on the floor. you didnât immediately take the whole thing in at once, instead just going for the tip.
you hollowed your cheeks as if billie could feel the thing (which she always swore she could.) âmhm, just like that, baby, just like that.â she gently pushed your head forward, seeing just how far you could take the indigo dildo.
once sheâd decided youâd had enough, she commanded you off. immediately, you got on your back, easing into the pillows.
billie crawled on the bed to get into position. she cupped your face, giving you one more kiss, before grabbing the strap. she ran the tip of the dildo up and down your folds, collecting your slick. âyou ready for it, ma?â she asked as she lined it up with your entrance.
âyes.â she didnât need to be told twice. immediately, she sunk into your pussy, bottoming out. although you had a few different dildos that you two used, this one was the one you used the most. so, it was no surprise how your pussy immediately engulfed the silicone, almost like it for perfectly.
you groaned and threw your head back as billie drew tight circles on your clit with her finger. âjust tell me when i can move,â she spoke in a tone so soft it almost wasnât like she didnât just put 7 inches of silicone inside you.
after a while, you nodded.
billie didnât need to be told twice.
her thrusts started off gentle and calm, moving her hips to only take an inch out and put it back into your waiting hole. the slow speed of these thrusts made it so you could feel everything: the gentle touch of billieâs thighs against yours, the dildo pressing so nicely on your walls.
you were content with this. but, billie wasnât. at some point, it seemed she got bored, as she strung on of your legs over her shoulder and went faster.
the new angle made her be able to penetrate that spot all the way in the back that made you see stars. and with the speed and hardness she was going, the pleasure only multiplied.
âoh, fuck, billie, yaaa, right there,â you encouraged her. she only laughed and nodded in response.
it didnât take long for the sound of skin slapping on skin to take over the room. well, if you could even hear that over your moans. billie was fucking you with a rawness she hadnât shown in a while.
you swore you could feel the strap kissing your cervix with every thrust, making you unable to stop letting out sounds. little âuh, uh, uh, uhâs filled the room every time she thrust.
but, who could blame you? the strap was so deep you swore if you looked down, you could see it peeking through your stomach. but you couldnât even lift your head. the pleasure was too good.
your tits bounced as billie pounded into you, causing her to reach down and take your nipples between her fingers. âoh, you like this?â she teased you. âya, you like me fucking you like this? like you deserve? ya, i know, i know, it just feels so goodâŚâ
the feeling of your hard nipples being played with combined with the damage your girlfriend was doing to your pussy was starting to make you feel overwhelmed. like you were about to fall off the edge.
â billie, shit, i-iâm close,â you said out. âcan i cum? please, can i cum, please please pleaseâŚâ that made her smile.
âyou donât gotta beg me, baby. just let go.â
and let go you did. you slapped a hand over your mouth as your back arched off the bed. white hot was all you could see as billie slowed down, letting you ride out your high.
once you were done and could feel the seepage dripping out of you, you took your hand off your mouth, heavily breathing.
billie leaned down to kiss your lips. she smiled into it before pulling away. âyou doing okay?â she asked. you nodded. âiâm gonna pull out now, okay?â
in a few seconds, the strap was out of you, leaving you clenching around nothing. she quickly undid the harness and threw it somewhere across the room for her to wash later.
she pulled you into your arms and kissed your head, rubbing your back. âyou did so good for me, sweet girl. thank you for letting me do that.â
you hid your face into her neck and spoke. âof course, bills.â
she grinned and kissed your forehead. âokay, you go pee, then iâll run you a shower, ya?â she proposed. you nodded and went to crawl off the bed.
âhey!â she called out one more time. you turned your head back to look at her.
âi love you.â you beamed.
âi love you, too.â
#Spotify#so this was interesting#something possessed me writing this idk#cuz i SWEAR i have no idea how i did this#anyways pretend like this is good guyz!!!#billie eilish#billie eilish smut#billie eilish x reader#billie eilish x you#billie eilish x y/n#smut#reader insert
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the only one
casual part 3.
(but can be read as a one shot)
part one
⍠đŹđ˛đ§đ¨đŠđŹđ˘đŹ ~ you thought billie had moved on, seeing her post like it was nothing, she was fine. maybe it was just casual to her.
â
đŠđđ˘đŤđ˘đ§đ ~ billie eilish x reader
â
đđ°! ~ mentions of panic attack, angst, nightmares (?)
ᥣđŠ a/n ~ hi! thank you all sm for waiting for part 3!! this one has a little time-skip, iâm thinking maybe 1-2 months since casual part 2. let me know if you like it, hopefully it lived up to your expectations đĽş
itâs been a few months since that last meet up billie and you had. the one where she belittled you and your feelings.
you blocked her the morning after, it wasnât easy blocking her. someone you fell in love with, but you realized that it was one sided the day she told you it was just causal.
maybe you wanted her to spill her feelings on how she loved you, and didnât just want you for a quick hook up to relive some steam. but deep down you knew thatâd never be the case.
to say youâve been doing good is a lie, youâve been.. okay. dating felt pointless as of now, you knew your heart would always belong to billie, even if you two werenât serious, it didnât mean you loved her any less.
billie on the other hand, looked like she was doing great. i mean- it wasnât like youâve checked up on her, you were non contact. but on her instagram she looked like she was doing great. sheâs on tour, her album is still doing good, she has good friends. it was bittersweet to see her now, it still made you cry some nights.
you were laying in your bed, staring up at the ceiling. you had just woke up from your sleep, a dream waking you up. the dream was a recurring one youâve gotten for the past few months since you ended it with billie.
the dream went something like this: you were in bed and when you turned over, you see billie, sleeping peacefully. you just observe her for however long until your brain wakes you up.
it never went father then that, it was just a constant reminder of her. maybe thatâs why you couldnât get over her.
suddenly your phone starts ringing, waking you from your daze. you shake your head a little and roll over, grabbing your phone off of the nightstand and rubbing your eyes to see whoâs calling.
who would call you at 3 am?
you read the number, you donât recognize it. itâs your area code, but thatâs all you recognize. god- theyâve called you 12 times.
you just decide to pick up, hoping theyâd stop after that.
âhel-â you clear your throat, trying to make it sound like you werenât just asleep. âhello?â you say weakly.
ây/n?â the other person says.
your heart drops, how could you not recognize that voice? the voice that used to sing praises to you, who used to speak to you in the softest voice, the voice you fell in love with.
âbillie? what the fuck?â you say, blinking repeatedly. you blocked her, how was she calling you? you pinch yourself once to make sure you arenât still dreaming, only to be met with pain. okay, so this was real.
âi know im sorry- i just- i really need you right now, i have no one else to call and i donât know what to do.â billie speaks, immediately apologizing. you can already tell she was in the middle of a
panic attack. her voice cracking when she speaks. you feel that same pang in your chest hearing her like that.
you take a deep breath, running a hand through your hair. âokay- bills- billie, calm down. breathe for a minuteâ you say. you regret answering, it just made everything come back.
you hear her take a breathe and go silent for a moment, before speaking again. âiâm really sorry- i know you blocked me and we arenât supposed to be talking, but i just- i dont know what to do. youâre the only one that knows how to deal with me when im like- when im like this.â she speaks softly, her voice still shaky.
you go silent for a second, zoning out looking at the floor. inviting her over would be horrible for you, ruining all of the progress youâve made. but fuck, you canât just leave her alone, you canât help but care about her.
âokay- fuck, do you want to come-â
âyeah.â
âokay.â
your eyes widen when she speaks. that was quick. as soon as she says yes you hang up, putting your phone down. what did you just do?
a few minutes later youâre pacing though the kitchen, waiting for the doorbell to ring. the gravity of what you just did sinks in, you shouldnât of offered.
but as soon as the doorbell rings and you rush over to open the door- maybe a bit too quickly, and you see a disheveled billie, all of it disappears. god you just wanted to protect her from everything.
her hair sticks to her forehead, the same hair that you used to play with, her eyes were red and looked up at you with so
much guilt. itâs obvious she feels horrible
about coming here. maybe she wasnât as good as it seemed on her instagram. it looks like sheâs back in that place she was in when you first met her.
âoh, babyâŚâ you coo, gently putting a hand on her shoulder and leading her inside. when you close the door and look back at her, she looks like a lost puppy, her eyes still swollen.
âiâm- sorry-â billie chokes out, starting to cry again. you immediately pull her into a hug, gently cradling her head in your hand, the other hand gently rubbing her back.
âitâs okay billie.â you say, gently kissing her head.
you felt so many things, you let her into your house even when she broke your heart, you truely could never deny her, especially when sheâs crying in your arms like this.
youâre fucked now.
#billie eilish#billie eilish x reader#fics#billie x reader#billi eilish x reader fluff#billie#billie eilish x reader fluff#idk how to tag this#spotify#writers on tumblr#billie eilish imagine#billie eilish smut#billie eilish fanfiction#x reader#fanfiction#imagine#one shot
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L: I told you to leave me alone
R: I know Sir, but I'm your advisor and I (unfortunately) have to supervise you too.
Raymond sighed as he read the papers in his hands while following Leshy.
L: Do you think I need your supervision? I was doing just fine before you arrived. I'll continue to do so. Leave
R: I can't. We still need to go over a lot of things, we're far behind schedule to discuss real matters which is urgent, I need you to sign the agreement of imported goods from Anchor Deep and the people in the neglected villages are revo-
L: Fine! How many!?
R: Pardon?
L: How many papers, Raymond?
Leshy turned to him with a momentarily anger. To him, Raymond was simply, yapping.
R: Uh, about... 1, 2, 3...
He began counting, sounds of the paper coming to Leshy's ear.
R: 86 papers, sir.
L: Well good luck to you with that. Just copy my signature.
R: Wait, me? Sir I can't just decide on the matters of the whole kingdom!
L: Aren't you my "advisor"? That's your thing, to decide.
R: Yes, I give advice! I don't rule over a kingdom!
L: Too bad so damn sad, I don't feel like listening you talk about dumb problems I won't be paying attention to anyway.
Leshy chuckled a bit and walked towards his work room. Raymond followed right behind, a bit panicked by the king's nonchalant decision. Leshy closed the door behind him, Raymond nearly making it inside.
R: You can't just ignore it! I promise it won't take long... Don't you care about your people? They are suffering! They are doing their best but barely surviving with what you let them have! Not only that, you've added taxes when I was gone!
L: My people are doing fine. You're worrying too much for something so lame, Ray. If I'm really that shitty of a king, go on. Fill my "so important" papers. And I thought you were smart enough to think that.
Raymond rubbed his temples after setting the papers aside. He took a deep breath. Leshy just sat one of the comfortable chairs and leaned back.
R: (God, I prefer hell over trying to convince this man child to do anything) It won't be long before everything breaks down to chaos if you continue to neglect your duties, sir.
L: ...
R: Maybe the other crowns were right about you after all...
Leshy immediately got up and turned towards Raymond.
L: What did those old bastards say about me?
R: Just the usual sir.
He smiled. Good thing Leshy was, well, blind.
R: That you were too young and naive to understand how a kingdom works. The red crown even said he was surprised that you haven't got hunted by your people.
L: That... Grim faced cat! You know what!? I rule my kingdom just fine! I'm the best king out there! They wish they were me! I can rule their kingdoms along with mine if I wanted!
R: Yes sir. You could...
L: Read me the damn papers Raymond! I'm gonna finish these papers faster than any of those living corpses!
R: (Works every time)
___________________________
It was night time when they were able to finish all those papers. Raymond had lit a candle long time ago to read better and Leshy seemed to listen.
R: This is the last paper... It's, it's over
L: Finally, for fuck's sake...
The worm yawned and leaned back. Raymond put the papers in order and set aside, before leaning back like his King.
R: Sir your profanity.
L: Ray I'm too tired to care.
R: You're right... I should be too tired to ask.
L: What's the time?
R: The moon is up by a hand. It's too late.
L: You don't say.
The advisor yawned and drank a glass of water. The King on the other hand rubbed where his eyes should be. It was rare but, sometimes, his eyes would bleed again, his wounds so easy to tear open. The cat panicked at the sight, immediately his tiredness vanishing by worry that overtook.
R: You're bleeding!
L: Don't-
Leshy hissed at him when Raymond tried to touch his face so he backed away. Raymond looked at the blood with sadness for his King.
R: Does it... Does it still hurt? Does it hurt bad?
He asked with a shakey voice as he reached for Leshy's face again. Surprisingly, the short tempered king didn't pull back the second time. He leaned to the touch, to the feeling. Raymond's palm got bloodied as he wiped it.
L:Not anymore. Not like the way it used to...
R: It's good... I think. Is it just pitch black..?
L: People assume so. But no. My vision is my thoughts. I can see just, not in the way you'd expect
R: How so? How can you just- See?
The King chuckled at the advisor's weirded out question.
L: I already know what something looks like. I know colors, I know shapes, I know sounds, the materials, the feelings. And, if you know it like I do, it feels like your whole imagination is your sight.
R: That's... Not as bad as I thought
L: You think about going blind?
R: No, heh, of course not... I think about, how hard it must be for you.
L: You think about me? Now that just makes me shy~
R: My King-
Raymond gave a tired and short giggle as he blushed. Even though he hated his job, he didn't hate the worm necessarily.
L: What? Can I not be curious about why you think about me Ray?
R: With all due respect, that's not the point, sir. I work for you, it's natural that I worry for the one I'm working so close with.
L: And somehow I'm someone you must worry for? The levels you bring me down to.
R: You make it sound like everything is just fine! Is there really nothing bad about being blind?
L: There are bad sides of it of course
R: Like what?
Leshy smiled, putting his hands on top of Raymond's.
L: Knowing I'll never actually see you
AU8WUW8UQOAPAAJUDJDAAAAAAAASAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
HELLO???? THIS IS SO GOOD?!?!?!?!?! How dare you send me this awsome gift as an anon đđđ Thank you so much omg I didnt think such a simple drawing would inspire someone to write something like this!
THANK YOU â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
#ask#royal au ask#leshycat#leshy x yellow cat#not my writings but i dont want to lose this so#writings
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I figured it would be a good time to share an update with you. I completed 5 radiation treatment sessions in 10 days. I had a new Pet Scan today but no results yet. I wish I could say I'm confident of what the outcome will be. You see when I had the scan prior to the radiation, three new growths were discovered. The cancer in my body is very active. Honestly I was never supposed to live this long but here I am.
Each day I struggle. I can't walk anymore or use my legs. I have become quite the wheelchair master though. My dear friend Holly once told me to keep all four wheels on the ground. Sorry Holly. You get a little bored in my situation. I have come to accept some things that I never thought I would have to. I can't feel the sand of the beach on my toes anymore or the cool ocean water. I can't dance anymore not that I was every very good at it. No more hiking on our trips to northern New England. These may seem trivial to all of you. You never think of these things until you can't do them any longer.
The bigger issues exist. I know my survival chances are slim. I will never give up though till my last breath. I know I will never fall in love with that special girl or settle down or even have a family. Why would anyone want a cancer ridden cripple? My days are consumed with doctors, physical therapy and trying to keep my head up.
Through all of this I'm grateful. I'm grateful for the people that try every day to lift my spirits, to encourage me and support me and most of all love me.
So to the following people, I say thank you and I love you forever.
Lauren @callmenonames my best friend in the universe. I have no words to describe the love you have shown me and the love I have for you. You sacrifice for me every day even at the cost of your own health. You are truly amazing.
Ellie @everylittlethingshedoesismagic my sweet London friend and her beautiful partner Sarah. Not a day goes by that I don't get a sweet message or picture. Unconditional and unwavering support and love. I have dreamt so many times about coming to London to just give you a hug and tell you thank you. I hope some day I can do that. I love you my friend
Karen @karenpillagain where do I begin. You are sweet and kind. Very silly and quirky and I think a little crazy too. You make me laugh and smile. When you had your accident I cried for days. Your partner Kate is a very lucky girl as are yo to have her. Two beautiful Aussies that deserve life's very best. I love you both and do hope we can make that Disney trip someday.
CJ @crystaljaydeinside1 Another incredible Aussie. You never hold back your care and encouragement. Always a sweet message, encouraging word or song to lift me up. I'm glad we connected the way we have and always love our chats. You have become very special to me and Lauren as well. I do love you my friend.
Breelynn @breelynnxoxoxoxo Where do I begin? You were a big support to my sister till the end. You remained close to Lauren and have always supported us. One of kind with a heart bigger than your body. Caring, loving and beautiful. Thank you for your continued support and love. I love you girl! You are amazing
Holly @hollys-coffee-cafe I fell in love with you so easy. You are beautiful, caring, and very special to me. I know we had our moments but there are no conditions on my feelings. You are an encouragement to me to never give up and I never will. I will always love you.
Last but not least Sadie @bambibrowneyes when I met you thanks to Holly, you were dealing with your own issues. Your beautiful wife Shelby sick with the same awful disease as me. There was an instant connection with the three of us. Shelby has since passed and your life has gone on. New career, new city and new love. I'm happy for you my friend. Love you
Okay that's it from me. I probably missed several people. I'm sorry for the long worded post. If you remember, say a prayer, send me you good vibes or whatever you believe in. I need them all.
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