#it was also weird how they were acting like this fandom was a safe place prior to s1 ignoring how many black fans were

[sukibenders]

Not some CaitVi stans playing victim on Twitter, wondering why no one vibes with them anymore, even though they went on a spree of harassing black Arcane fans, calling them, Ekko's VA, and black Arcane characters racial slurs while pretending they [Reed and black fans] were homophobic for not liking how Cait was a cop and gassed Zaun, even going as far as to dox some fans for even daring to ship Vi with someone else (who is black). But, suddenly they feel unsafe in the fandom? Sure, Jan.

[captainsophiestark]

Snowed In

Rex x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

This work was created for the 2024 @cloneficgiftexchange, for @jedipoodoo! I loved the prompts you gave me, and I had a ton of fun writing this - I hope you like it!

Fandom: Star Wars

Summary: Rex and his Jedi SO get stranded on Ilum in the middle of a bad snowstorm, but it turns out to be just the Life Day gift they were hoping for.

Word Count: 1,640

Category: Fluff

A/N: Special shoutout to @ghostofskywalker for the Fictober request that made me feel confident enough to write for the clones! It's been so much fun to venture into writing this part of the fandom, and I never could've done it without you 🥰

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

"Like I said, we'll try to get back to you guys tonight if we can. But I don't think that's likely."

Obi-Wan and Anakin frowned at me from the small projection on my wrist communicator in sync.

"Are you sure? We barely left a hour ago. Has it really gotten that much worse?"

I started nodding before Anakin had even finished the question.

"I almost lost Rex in his white armor when he went outside to scout before I called you. He was five feet from me. I spit and it froze almost before it cleared my lips."

"Why did you spit?" Obi-Wan asked, his frown deepening. This time it was Anakin and I's turn to give him a look in perfect sync.

"To see how bad it was by how quickly it froze," Anakin answered for me. "What else?"

Obi-Wan didn't dignify that with a response, just an eyeroll.

"Alright," he said, moving past Anakin and I's conversation. "If you aren't able to get off-planet by tomorrow morning, call us again. We'll come back with more equipment and find a way to dig you out."

I nodded. "Sounds good. I'll check in with you guys in the morning. Hopefully you won't have to make the trip back, but if you do... make a pitstop to grab some flame throwers from Ki-Adi-Mundi."

Obi-Wan huffed a laugh, while Anakin looked much too excited beside him.

"Hopefully, that won't be necessary," Obi-Wan said. "Stay warm and stay safe."

"Will do."

"See you tomorrow with flame throwers."

I snorted and gave the boys a little wave at Anakin's sign-off. Hopefully for everyone involved, this storm would clear and we'd be able to get out of here without Anakin needing to go within a lightyear of a flamethrower.

I sighed, surveying the space Rex and I would be occupying for the rest of the evening. We'd been here following a few strange feelings in the Force Obi-Wan, Anakin, and I had had surrounding Ilum, one of the best and only places in the galaxy to get the crystals for our lightsabers. For fear of the Separatists trying to mess with the place, Obi-Wan and Anakin had come with Rex and I, along with a good portion of the 501st, had come to investigate. We'd searched high and low and mediated on it at length, and thankfully, found nothing amiss. We'd taken our time moving everybody out, since we had no reason to rush, and Rex and I had planned to be the last out after doing one last check of the crystal sites and making sure none of our men left anything behind. We'd done both of those things, but we'd also ended up catching the beginning of one of the planet's worst snow storms.

Luckily for us, we'd set up a nice camp in a spacious, well-protected ice cave. It had been our whole group's base of operations while on planet, and now Rex and I had it all to ourselves. We hadn't even had to rebuild the fire.

In a weird way, this was exactly what Rex and I had been looking for. Despite some of the stricter interpretations of Jedi rules, throughout the course of the war, Rex and I had slowly but surely fallen in love with each other. We'd come to the mutual decision to act on those feelings a while ago, but between the need for secrecy and the galactic conflict we found ourselves in the middle of, we didn't get a lot of time to spend however we wanted, just the two of us, without interruptions.

"It's official," came Rex's voice, returning from his scouting at the mouth of the cave. He came into sight a moment later, stopping with his hands on his hips. "Looks like we're snowed in."

I sighed. "I figured as much. I just got off the phone with Anakin and Obi-Wan. They're gonna circle back for us if they don't hear anything from us by tomorrow. I told them we're all set with supplies and everything else we need for tonight."

Rex smiled at that, looking more relaxed than I usually got to see him as he crossed the space to stand just in front of me.

"So... you're saying we have this place completely to ourselves until tomorrow?"

I grinned. "That's exactly what I'm saying."

"Finally. We're overdue for a bit of time together, just the two of us."

"No kidding we are. So... I'll get blankets, you get snacks, and we can finally watch that new Life Day holo we keep seeing everywhere we go?"

Rex gave me a grin.

"That sounds perfect to me. Meet back here in ten?"

"Deal."

The two of us moved in separate directions, each going to the place where our gear was stashed around the now mostly packed camp. I grabbed a whole heap of blankets, then snagged my favorite sweater of Rex's and pulled it over my head. Hopefully he wouldn't mind.

I brought back my bounty of blankets and pillows to the center of the room, right beside the fire, then started the work of building them into a nice cozy spot where Rex and I could cuddle up. Our timing was proof of just what a good team we made, as I heard Rex coming back from the boxes of food and kitchen supplies right as I finished putting together our nest of fluffy things.

I straightened up with a smile, but my jaw dropped when I saw what he carried.

"Is that hot chocolate?" I asked, my heart absolutely leaping at the prospect. Instead of answering, Rex gave a little considering frown in my direction.

"Is that my sweater?"

I gave him a sheepish grin. "Yeah. It's so soft and cozy, I was hoping you'd let me get away with the theft."

Rex let out a theatrical sigh, but he smiled at me a moment later.

"Alright. As long as you promise to share the warmth."

"I promise. Now give me that hot chocolate."

Rex laughed as he handed the mug over to me, then the two of us settled into the puddle of blankets. I curled up against Rex's chest, legs tangled on top of his as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders. I sighed once we'd gotten comfortable, weeks and months of stress from the war melting away in a single minute with Rex.

I sipped at my hot chocolate, letting the peace of the moment sink into my bones, then turned to glance at my wonderful partner.

"Where did you even get this hot chocolate?"

He grinned down at me. "Special supply request through the GAR. I said it was for morale, since it is."

I beamed up at Rex. He was truly the best bright spot and partner I could've asked for, and I wanted to make sure he knew it.

"I love you. You know that, right? I love you so, so much Rex."

He smiled warmly back at me, gently squeezing my arm as he did.

"I do know that. And I love you too. You're the greatest gift I could've asked for."

I leaned up towards Rex with a glance at his lips, and he quickly got the hint, leaning down to meet me halfway. The kiss wasn't anything especially scandalous or heated, just a soft peck, but it got my heart racing all the same. Moments like this were rare for both of us, and I treasured every single one, especially since I had no idea when the next one might come along.

"So..." mused Rex with a soft smile once we finally pulled apart. "Should we start that Life Day holo?"

"Yeah, let's do it. I'm excited to see what all the hype is about."

"If it reached us all the way out here in the middle of the war, it better be damned good."

"Right? If it's not, though, I do have a few backup holos we can use to recover from the disappointment."

"That's good, because I have a lot of hot chocolate stashed back there, and I think we need to finish it tonight. That way none of the men start asking questions about why I managed to dig some up for you, but not for them."

I shot Rex a look as he started the holo, the opening credits playing on our portable data pad.

"I'm pretty sure most of them wouldn't be surprised. We're a 'secret' the same way Anakin and Padm�� are a secret. The only difference is we're not as oblivious about how many people have figured us out."

Rex just laughed. "True enough. I think all of them support us, anyway."

"I know they do. But just in case, I'll plan on making some time to bake cookies or something on the way to our next engagement. That way there's no hard feelings all around."

"...Can you make the ones with the peppermint in them?"

"Of course. As if I'd use anything other than your favorite recipe."

Rex and I shared another smile, then he kissed my forehead as we both shifted our attention to the holo just getting underway. I could hear his heart beating from where I rested my head against his chest, just over the sound of the crackling fire and the wind howling outside. The universe had apparently decided to give Rex and I a little Life Day present in the form of some rare time together, just the two of us, to spend however we wanted. And I couldn't thank it enough.

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989 @space-helen @misshale21

[dearweirdme]

Why do you think Tae is always the one making statements like today and not Jk? Straws aside, it does feel a bit lopsided when you compare the way Tae shows off Jk to the way Jk shows off Tae.

Hi anon!

Something to ask yourself is: does their relationship take place in public, or in private. Our perception of them, is not their reality. Fandom spaces is not where their relationship and their statements about each other are to be expected. There is little doubt in my mind that in the privacy of their friends and family, Jk has no problem showing that Tae is his. There's limits to how and when they can actually act as a couple, but I think in front of those who know.. Jk and Tae are equally loving on each other.

Also.. things are not as lopsided as fandom likes to make it out. Jk is more subtle in his actions than Tae for sure. But he mentioned Tae often, the fact that he spent time with Tae so often is in itself a show of love. Him flying to Hawaii to be with Tae is a huge statement of his love for Tae, and to Tae.. those kind of things will matter the most. People made this huge problem of Jk not mentioning Tae's album when it dropped, but in reality.. he did mention the album, he did play his songs... and what does it even matter if in private we know Jk flies 9 hours to be with Tae when he misses him. We don't need them to perform their relationship. It's actually weird to feel like a closeted couple needs to show some sort of proof.

Jk and Tae are different. Some people do feel the need to be more outward. I think Tae struggles with not being able to be loud about his love for Jk. That's why we see more obvious things from his side. I think Jk has less of a problem, or even feels more comfortable not sharing as much. Imagine being scrutinized for your every interaction. Jk's feelings for Tae are so obvious and when they were younger I think he had trouble hiding it. To me it has continously looked as though Jk is keeping him and Tae safe. The two different approaches can easily go together. They know each other so well, they will have talked about how to deal with these things. They probably learn from each other in ways.

[imtooscaredforthis]

Entrapment

Chapter Twenty Eight: Caught

Mentions of: Murder, Gore, Character Death, Paranoia, Manipulation, and Stabbing

A/N: Kinda rushed but whatever..more coming soon!

Tags: @elentiyaiswriting @dead-bxxxtch-walking

@vandeaad @mama-miya @the-fandoms-georgie

Everything has been settled for a little while. There weren’t any murders or messages left in your car and apartment. You were finally starting to feel safe. You knew you shouldn’t. Not when this many people have been hurt. He’s up to something, you know it.

He’s luring you into a false sense of security, and once you finally let your guard down, he��ll strike. But even with that fear, you had to admit, it was nice, to feel slightly more okay again. You were starting to sleep again, and the nightmares were going away.

“It’s so weird, you know? The town’s quiet. The quietest it has been in a while.” Rachel remarked you, her and Jed standing around the coffee machine. For once, work was slow.

“Yeah, for once there’s nothing for us to write about. Maybe he’s finally gone.” Jed shrugged.

You gazed over at Jed, fearing that if he was even mentioned, he would come back. He would be here. Summoned like the monster he was. You didn’t comment, just gazed into the black pool of your coffee, before pouring some sugar into it and stirring.

“What do you mean?” Rachel asked.

“I mean, like, what if people are onto him, so he’s running?”

“You think the cops are finally starting to figure it out?”

Bullshit. You don’t buy it. The cops were hardly making progress. If they did, they would announce any developments in their investigation. They would show a sketch, and the only thing they had was that damn mask. If anything, you were the closest one to cracking it, and you were hardly making any progress.

Jed shrugged. “I don’t know. But I hope so.”

“Are you okay?” Jed asked, resting a hand on your shoulder and snapping you out of your thoughts. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“What do you think? You think he’s finally gone?”

You wanted to believe it. That you were safe. That everything’s going to be okay. You wanted to lie. But you couldn’t. Not to yourself, and not to them. “No. I mean, he has so much publicity. He wants the attention. He wouldn’t just disappear. Not without sending some sort of message first.”

Jed looked worried but also intrigued. Rachel seemed scared. “Why would you say something like that? Don’t you want him gone?”

“Of course I do.” You replied, fidgeting with the mug in your hand. “I just- I think we should be careful, that’s all.”

“Aren’t you tired of being careful? Of being afraid? He killed my friends, _____. He’s hurt people. So, I’m going to be happy that we’re finally safe again. You should be too.” With that, she walked off, leaving you to call after and feel guilty.

“Don’t, just give her some space.” Jed stopped you. “This is hard on her.”

“It’s hard on me too. She’s acting like this hasn’t affected me either. Like I haven’t lost anyone.” You said, frustrated.

“I know you have, and I know what you’re going through is rough. It’s just…Rachel has grown up here. This place is her home, and everyone she knows and loves isn’t safe, which is terrifying.” Jed tried to reason.

You sighed. “I know. And I know you guys are probably right. I want you guys to be right. But, I have a bad feeling.”

“I’m sure they’ll figure him out eventually. Killers like that don’t have that much publicity and get away with it.” He did have a point. Not to mention how arrogant he was. Ghostface is smart and he knows that, but he thinks he can get away with everything. He thinks he can hurt you, and use you, that he can do whatever he wants, and that will be his downfall.

“No matter what happens, I’ll do what I can to protect you. I promise. You call me and I’ll be there. Anytime, anyplace, just call me.” He took your hands in his, giving them a soft squeeze.

You smiled at him, leaning in and giving his lips a soft peck. “Thanks, Jed.”

Someone else came in, causing the two of you to pull away from each other. It was time to get back to work.

–

Even after what happened earlier, Rachel still invited you and Jed out for drinks. You would reason against it and tell her that it’s not safe, but you knew that would end badly. She was too stubborn. She wouldn’t listen and she’d just get more mad at you.

Instead, here you were, watching her across the bar, making sure she stayed safe. Jed followed your eyes, catching on to your stare. “Are you going to spend the whole night babysitting her?”

“If it means she’s safe, then yes I will.” Not that it ensured anything. You could follow her home and he’d be waiting there for her. He could be anywhere.

“Look, Rachel’s tough. She’ll be okay. I promise, but if you want, I can walk her home for you.” You sighed, slightly relieved at that.

–

“Are you okay? You’ve been in the bathroom for a while.” You couldn’t help but ask Jed, not even two hours later. He looked pale and he was sweaty.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I think I ate or drank something funny, but I’ll be okay.” His hands were trembling. You were worried. “Jed, you should go home.”

“But what about-”

“It’s fine. I can look after her. Let’s get you a cab.” You walked him outside, letting him lean against you. You wanted to look after him too, now..but you knew that Rachel would be more vulnerable. Going home drunk with a stranger like she always did but what if she goes back with the wrong one?

“Call me and let me know you got home safe okay?” You hugged him and helped him into the car.

“I will.”

You turned away and walked into the bar. Luckily for you, Rachel was just about to leave. You followed her down the dark road, while she stumbled along with the stranger. Soon enough, she was only two blocks away from her house. Nothing had happened. There was no one suspicious, no strange hooded figures, nothing.

Maybe she was right. Maybe you are safe. Maybe he really is gone.

Suddenly, a hooded figure stalked behind them, and just as you could warn them, the man’s throat was slit. You sprinted over, and you were only halfway there when Rachel took off. He caught her easily, stepping on the back of her ankle and stabbing her in the back, before he faced her right in front of you, holding her back by the hair and running his blade across her throat, forcing you to watch as she choked on her blood and the life drained from her eyes.

Foolish, naive, little girl. You should’ve known.

[chillingwithtavesss]

Hello, I'm glad I found your blog, it has been hell trying to navigate the fandom with all the shippers. I never understood their affection to Kaia, it seems like they like her a lot more than Austin does. I just wanted to say, that if she didn't look conventionally attractive and skinny, probably 90% of them would not like her. She has done a lot of shady things, which they just gloss over. She is also fake af, I don't know how they don't see her fabricated persona, tailored just for her non-existent career. I personally want someone better for Austin, who shares his work ethic and doesn't embarrass him left and right with her constant insecure posting on sm. I knew she was full of it when she said she doesn't have ig on her phone...girl, please. Sorry for my mini rant, but that girl is just not it. And yet another birthday of hers where Austin doesn't even try to be there for her, 3rd year in a row. Is this the "love" people are gushing over, seriously??

I want someone better for him too. Something refreshing. I agree with the attractive thing. I even said so myself a few post ago that is she wasn’t pretty they wouldn’t like her. They would more and likely view this relationship the same way we do. I am sorry but no woman in a secure , and loving relationship does the things Kaia does. Kissing all up on your chick friends and saying things like “best kisser ever” or having them touch up and feel all up on you. The shippers think we are delusional for finding things weird in that relationship that would that would be just as off putting if it was any other one.As much as they seem to project themselves onto Kaia…I highly doubt any of them would want a weird ass relationship like that. To have a bf who barely acknowledges you, not spending your bday with you really…they would not like that.

One thing I would never forget is an IG post of Kaia. I forget what profile it was rather it was a fan account or Presley’s but someone commented something along the lines of how she uses Austin to level up and Presley replied back saying “and what have you done with your life”? He didn’t even defend that. He on top of that deleted that reply..which to me says a lot lol.

I am glad you found my blog ! Welcome in!I wanted to create a safe place like this because we have a right to our opinions. We shouldn’t feel obligated to support a relationship that the people in it don’t like to began with. We are fans of Austin not Kaia.

Last thing I wanna say is watch when they break up. That affection and ass kissing energy they have with her will more and likely die out. They will backtrack the things they said and act like they were against it the entire time. Either that or they will drop Austin completely and be a full on fan of Kaia’s.

[enemywasp]

OMFG A PROSHIPPER !!+! SAME BUT I HAVE TO HIDE MY IDENTITY BC EVERYONE HAS DNI PROSHIP IN BIO LIKE WHY?????

UMMMMM ..... Rant bc it's so rare to find a kindred spirit in this shitty immature ""war""

it fr just means i believe we should ship and let ship??? why is the "i don't judge u for your preferences" thing seen as bad idfk like. it's fucking fiction.

if it's problematic then I don't condone it irl. but I'm human. I have curiosities and shit. Like,, ppl don't listen to true crime bc they condone murder and ppl don't go calling true crime fans murderers. so WHYYYY is shipping any different, in fact it's b e t t e r bc at least fiction. isn't. real.

like why tf is what i ship anyone else's business??? unless it's bc we have smthn in common to bond over, why tf do ppl care abt the ships we don't have in common.

istg ship wars are crazy af and this whole pro- anti- ship shit is just another way to try to control smthn that doesn't need controlling.

it's like U said no one fucking cares abt it irl and the damn DEATH THREATS ppl get over **not giving a damn what other people ship** instead of being the fucking fandom shipper police or smthn is disgusting and i hate that im never allowed to talk abt this w/out ppl hating me and calling me a disgusting monster.

why can't I just do what I fucking want when in my own privacy while not causing any harm???

like ppl are so damn delusionalllllllll!!!!.!.!.!

-> some proshippers just mean they support any and all ships bc fiction is fiction

-> some proshippers ship "problematic" ships and that is FINE because it is NOT REAL and THEY ARE NOT HURTING ANYONE and i meannnnm ppl are curious right. they gonna explore alien concepts some way or another. why tf would ppl stop them from exploring it in a safe. healthy. fictional. harmless. way.

why is it that it's okay to consume problematic content but not okay to ship problematic ships?? literally what is the fucking difference ships are a subgenre of content.

if you think it's okay to be a fan of lotr or american psycho or some shit then it is damn hypocritical to say it isn't okay to ship something problematic. same thing if you think it's okay to stan/simp for a villain character.

it's only even called ~problematic~ bc that's how the relationship would be if it were real. which it isn't. so it isn't fucking problematic bc it's fictional content and the ppl shipping it do not condone the irl versions.

also sidenote,,, why tf are proshippers and multishippers grouped together in the dni stuff?? they are not related. a multishipper just. ships the same character w/ more than just one (1) other character. how is that problematic too?????

okay sorreryyyyyy i just have so many thoughts on this that im never allowed to share pls feel free to let this one collect dust in the inbox. or just straight up delete it lol.

Do not apologise! I love a good rant!

If you want to interact with proshippers more the tags "proshipper", "proshippers pls interact" and "proship positivity" are usually very nice and lots of wonderful people post there!

And you could always make a side account for proship stuff if you want to be able to take a break from the intense pro vs anti stuff if and when it gets too much, whilst still having a place to enjoy that stuff.

Honestly I think a lot of the issue is people seem to take the word "ship" as their ideal relationship. Less so than a dynamic they enjoy in fiction. But I don't know, I can't pretend to understand the mind of antis.

Proshippers and multishippers getting clumped together is probably linked to the idea that a ship is a pairing you want to see canon and shows actually pandering to ship wars lately. Or maybe people are just weird!

Everyone takes shipping way too seriously now and acts like a fictional pairings existence will romanticise the topic and brainwash kids. My general rule is that its for fun, who cares ?

And feel free to rant in my inbox whenever! It's always open to anyone. Glad you could get that off your chest :)

[formulatrash]

What's your take on the hockey booktok thing? Since you mentioned it on twt

my initial take would be that all these people scare me so much I don't want to get into it but also people keep messaging me to be like did you know people ship carlando" off the back of it and yes. I did know that.

my understanding of what's happened on booktok, which I absorb any information about only twice a year during whatever version of this is blowing up at the time, is pretty limited. partly because I'm not on tiktok and partly because I can't read. but the crux of it seems to have come down to people writing disgustingly thirsty comments on a hockey player and his wife's posts, regardless of what they were about, somehow feeling empowered to be horny not just on main but in someone's face because of booktok.

that's, clearly, not remotely acceptable. if there are communities of people out there that thirst about me I don't know about them (although the cold tendrils of horror about the Wikifeet page have just gripped me and no, oh god, that isn't the phrase I should've used at all get me out of here) but there are loads of people who fucking hate my guts. that's like, fine, it's their own business; if they keep it on discord or whatever and away from me it doesn't do me any harm. lord knows, I have committed the act of hating and indeed being horny, sometimes simultaneously, when I was at a safe enough distance for none of the subjects to ever know.

this is a thing about fandom. if you post "Max Verstappen looks breedable" on here then he's extraordinarily unlikely to ever see it or probably know what it means. if you comment that on Kelly's instagram posts, even if you don't like her and even if that's for valid reasons, that's very different.

as I gather it, the booktok thing has exploded into RPF in general. which, I gotta say, RPF and sexually harassing a dude and his family are in fact very different things. one has a rich history, both as actual ways of telling history (Anthony and Cleopatra: RPF, Chernobyl: RPF, the god damn Gran Turismo movie is RPF about an uncomfortably large number of people I know IRL and to be fair it looks like it slaps I'm gonna see it) and as a longstanding artform. RPF's history of horny is even extremely longstanding, with obscene RPF being used by both the French and Russian revolutionaries to undermine the concept of royal divinity.

RPF is political because it involves an interpretation of real events and people. and the perspective from which that's written will always be political. RPF can, certainly, be feminist; there's quite a lot of retellings of classical stories that fit this. RPF can, also, be fucking weird horny shit. or terrible man takes. or incredible, tender, queer retellings; Kaz Rowe's graphic novel about real-life surrealist Claude Cahun is an obvious example of the latter. Pride, the film about the miners' strikes and the AIDS crisis, is another.

so yeah, it is a legitimate and recognised form of literature and art and also uhhhh. well. I mean the omegaverse is definitely recognised, legally, in court because of that one case but I don't know that even its fiercest enthusiasts would really be all that keen on describing it. not as like, literature or anything just I think most people would rather literally never have an IRL conversation about that. ever.

I'm not 1000% clear on how carlando got into this but clearly that's broken containment a long time ago anyway. when you had Sky doing love heart interviews 15 races into them being teammates or whatever, there was an obvious amount of gay chicken being played by the producers that frankly, as a queer person in motorsport, I'm a lot more comfortable with the fan version of.

no, obviously, I do not think they are dating - or want to think that tbh - but frequently-queer fans projecting the wish fulfilment of seeing a kinder and more representative world for their desires, in places hidden from the subjects, is a lot less weird than leering, laughed-at dating questions and milk baths. in an ideal world it wouldn't have to be a secret, yearned-for alternative because things would be safe and open enough for there to be real queer stories everywhere but that, unfortunately, is not the one we currently live in.

wish fulfilment and telling stories are not the same things, necessarily. sometimes you tell the stories to remind yourself it's ok to have wishes or to work out what those even are. I don't think there's anything necessarily harmful about what names the characters have in those, provided the line between reality and any real people's privacy is kept.

clearly, with the booktok thing, that's where things went extremely wrong. generally tiktok as a whole seems to have a very odd perception about other people's agency, whether it's pranking videos or like the girl who filmed people peeing at Spa. if you regard everyday people as content opportunities (spoiler: the law does not think this and particularly in the EU you cannot film people without their consent) then I guess it's easy to slide over to seeing an athlete as a target for what I suspect very few of the people doing it recognised as very unpleasant and invasive harassment.

there's nothing wrong with fancying athletes. there's nothing even wrong with sexualising them, provided you respect some boundaries and provided it's not part of the conditions of their working contracts. there's a lot of difference between there being a discord where, idk, people say Mitch Evans is hot (he is, although somewhat implausibly he genuinely does not know this) and sponsors for female tennis players wanting them to wear revealing outfits and stay skinny or teenage girls being encouraged into provocative photoshoots by people who promise them roles, etc. teenage male athletes being pressured into doing things they don't want to yet or maybe at all to prove they're men, queer athletes being forced to hide who they are or repress it entirely.

would it be a little bit odd to find RPF of yourself? yes. I won't lie, I would judge the characterisation. I already do judge that on the frankly very weird things people write about me. you have never seen RPF as strange as the narratives people will make up about you in the comments of an article about hydrogen and frankly those scare me a lot more than whether someone thinks I'd be assigned beta or whatever.

stumbling across something, rather than having explicit sexual fantasies forced into your face, especially on what's your own social media pages where people you know in real life can see them, is very different though. some people who engage with RPF cross lines, whether that's weird conspiracy stuff about girlfriends being faked or stalking people's friends accounts etc.

RPF doesn't inherently cross lines, even when it's public; there's a very interesting interview here with Jann Mardenborough and the guy who plays him in the Gran Turismo movie about, among other things, portraying a fatal crash he was involved in. clearly, Jann is not only aware of but is the executive producer of what's ultimately fiction about himself and there's an ownership there, of course. but some parts of the movie are made up, for sure.

obviously I'm like, the not-very-secret infiltrator here because clearly I am On Tumblr and know what AO3 is. I follow a bunch of people who write fanfic because they also make nice gifs of my favourite blorbos and I like to think we can all make peace with our own boundaries about that kinda thing. also I read every single Shane/Ryan fic in like 5 weeks and honestly, not going to apologise except to myself for persisting with a few that didn't pay off.

but like: you do not have to make RPF or any fandom activity unethical. the way you conduct yourself does that and some people step way out of line.

[allwayswildchild]

You can read it on AO3 or under the cut!

It's been two months since I disappeared from my world. It's been two months since I've seen or heard from Zelda and I hate that fact.

It's been two months since I joined the chain and I'm still adjusting. It's weird waking up and not seeing you next to me. It's weird not knowing where you are or if you're safe. I hate the fact that I can't protect you right now. I hate the fact you don't even know where I am right now. I hate the fact I had to leave without saying goodbye or at least saying where I was going.

I know you wouldn't read this and that's fine. I'm not sure why I'm writing this, but I think it will make me feel better about not seeing you. I know you wouldn't read this but I at least want to explain where I've been and how it's been.

If you haven't already guessed it I got sucked into another adventure! Wooo! I'm so excited about this, it's not like I died on that last one or anything but I don't think hylia cares about that. On this adventure I'm traveling with eight other past heroes. You'll probably recognize a few of them! I would too if I paid attention to your ranting but sometimes it just goes on for too long and I stop paying attention. Not my fault.

There's Time, Twilight, Warriors, Sky, Legend, Hyrule, Four, Wind and me. Those are nicknames. In reality we're all named Link. And that's why we're called the Chain. Wind came up with it. Everyone's nickname is their hero title. So like the Hero of Twilight or the Hero of Time. Mine is the hero of the Wilds. Fitting right. I know if you were reading this you would be uncontrollably laughing right now because of my title.

Time is the oldest. He's like the leader of the group. He  seems very stoic and serious on the outside. The chain goes to him when they need advice or have some sort of problem. Even though he's the oldest he still acts like a child on the inside. If you look close enough you can see the mischievous glint in his eye. Especially if he's about to play a prank on one of the boys. He has said some weird things at times also. Once in casual conversation he said that he fought the moon. No one could tell if he was being serious or not. I haven't really talked to him that much but he seems like a good guy, if not a little bit mischievous.

Twilight is unique. I don't quite know what to like about him. He apparently grew up on a farm in a place called Ordain, which is outside of Hyrule. Since he grew up on a farm he has a lot of experience with animals and horses. It seems he loves being around farms and urban places. I don't blame him though since I'm the same way. I've talked to him more than I have Time but still not a lot. Thinking of it I haven't really talked to the chain lot. Oops.

I don't really like Warriors. I don't know why but I just don't. Whenever I'm by him I don't talk and I flinch whenever he tries to touch or talk to me. I feel bad that I do this but it's not like I can change it. I think before the calamity there was a person like him, who I might have feared. I don't know. I don't have any memories of anyone like him though. Warriors is a Captain in his Hyrule army. Wasn't I a Captain once? I can't remember. He is good at making decisions. Him and time usually are the ones making the battle plans.

Speaking of battle plans, I forgot to write why we are even on this quest. To be honest I don't know. I don't think any of the chain does either. We have some theories though! Not very good ones.

One theory is that Hylia just hates us and likes to see us suffer. It's a very compelling theory, probably the best one yet! I know I haven't written about him yet but it was Legend that made this theory. Which isn't surprising if you knew him. He probably has the most hatred for Hylia out of anyone.

Which I'm not surprised with how many adventures he's been on but that's for a later section.

The second theory is that we're getting together to defend a villain or something like that. A "big bad" if you would. This theory was made by Warriors. I'm not surprised cause Legend and Warriors usually are the opposite; they fight a lot. Being honest this is the most logical theory. There is some evidence against this theory though! One thing is what villain would need ten of Hylias heros to defeat? We all have defeated separate villains by ourselves, so what villain needs all of us? And why can't Hylia do it BY HERSELF!

Anyways! The next person I will talk about is Legend, seeing as I already talked about him. Legend has a very interesting personality. He acts like his is really mean and doesn't care but I feel like know it's an act. He and Warriors fight a lot. They are just very opposite people. He also has A TON of rings! They are all magical too! He also doesn't wear pants..... He only wears shorts. Even if it's freezing. He's also been on the most adventures. I don't know how many but when Time said he had been on about 3 before, Legend muttered and I quote "That would have been nice." I don't think anyone else heard it but I was right next to him and I have really good hearing.

Wind is next! He is the youngest of all of us. I think he is sixteen. Which sucks! He said he started his journey when he was fourteen and finished it when he was fifteen. So he had a year to rest, which is not a lot but it's better than nothing. Some people like Time had a lot of time between their last journey and this one. Lol, I didn't even mean to do that! Anyways Wind is very energetic and curious about everything. He likes exploring and well, the ocean. Seeing as his world is all oceans with islands. He talks about his world all the time! And he's really loud, so you can't ignore him! He also talks about his family a lot, he lives with his sister and grandmother. I can't remember if I had a sister. Or a family. Huh? I can't remember anything about a family. I'll ask you next time I see you. If I ever do.

Without further ado is Sky! He is the one who holds the master sword! Apparently he was also the one who forged it. Which means either him or Four is first because everyone else has had the master sword on their journeys. Except for Four, he says he had a different sword but didn't elaborate when we asked him about it. Sky said he thinks he was the first but didn't say why. Sky talks about his Zelda a lot. I think they are together but I don't want to ask. He also does woodworking. He likes to randomly start carving wood. He just sits down and starts on a random thing. He mostly does animals like birds. They are always really pretty!

Anyways the second to last is Hyrule! And yes that is his title The Hero Of Hyrule. It kinda sucks that we have to call him a kingdom and it has gotten confusing before when we are talking to someone that's not the chain. Let's just say it takes a while to convince them that's his name. He is an adventurer at heart. He also is terrible at staying on the path. Legend has to drag him back whenever we are walking. He gets distracted very easily and doesn't even realize it. He loves exploring and he's also the group medic! He has more training in that medicine than most of us. I don't have much to say about him to be honest. He seems like a very fun person!

Last but not least Four. Yes, like the number. I have no clue why that's his title but I wouldn't ask him. He talks to himself a lot. He's also really short. Like he's shorter than Wind that's why everyone thought he was the youngest. He did not like it when we assumed that. He's also really smart, but he doesn't really talk to other people that much. I don't know, I haven't really talked to him. I've probably talked to him the second least, other than Warriors. That's all the chain!

Another thing I forgot to mention is they all suck at cooking! I'm the designated cook! Which I'm fine with but if I'm sick or injured, everyone will get food poisoning! I swear four burns all the food he makes and Hyrule adds bugs and random stuff, so it's uneditable! Twilight can make stew and that's it! He doesn't even add enough spices or he puts too much spices! There is not in between! Sky can only make pumpkin soup! That is the only thing he knows what to make! Like yeah it's good, but pumpkins are hard to find! And in the one who gets ALL the ingredients! Legend just doesn't know how to! Before he just ate the separate ingredients! Like he cooked the meat and ate it, then ate the carrots, and ate the cooked potatoes! Not even together! And not spices! And it's all over or under cooked! He doesn't know when it's actually cooked! Warriors can make food but it's ONLY military food. With no seasonings and it's two meals. And that's it. Time is the best between everyone besides me. He knows how to cook very basic food. Probably because his wife taught him. Oh wait! Oops I forgot to mention he is married! The only one of the chain, I think. He speaks the world of her. Late nights when I'm making dinner he just sits and talks about her talks about her to the air or anyone listening.

Well that's all I have to say right now. I wish I wish with you right now. I really miss you right now. Sky and Time aren't helping when they talk about their partners. I wonder how you're doing right now. I wonder how you're doing without me. I hope you're doing well. I hope I see you soon!

Love you, Hero of the Wild.

[chamoemileclown]

saw someone else post about this and i really agree i think it just wasnt the right time for purgatory, the stakes were there but the vibe and the point in roleplay development for individual characters just.. wasnt it for me. I dont know what they have planned for the future so i cant say it shouldve happened later, but i think because of all the trips and vidcon the charas had just gotten to a point where they had started healing from their kids going missing only to be thrown into this, which can be a good point narratively but theres also a couple other things that kinda just didnt let it work out for me tbh

a lot of it was just the rules and events were weird? that probably makes no sense. but like from a viewer pov it felt like the characters were beta testers for this and the rules have been constantly changing, so its hard to get comfortable in. Like when theres a set of consistent rules teams are able to more accurately strategize and such and they couldnt really do that? so it just felt like weird improv the whole time which theyre very good at but it was just.. like idk unbalanced? thats a dif point that contributed

like etoiles pointed this out that they balanced the teams (not really imo) in game but not fandom-wise, like certain teams had a very large fanbase and certain others had a very small one, etc etc. And like for example blue team had much less people on consistently but by the time they realized that it was probably too late to change teams without an event like the one recently splitting green. I feel like the admins tried to mix up the players outside of their usual friend groups but it just kinda cut the ints in half? i know cellbit didnt wanna kill roier, bad was very isolated from all his regular friends and therefore nobody wanted to talk to him (he wasnt on their team), tubbo was kinda suffering because he couldnt use create. Red team was overwhelmingly loud, blue was crushingly quiet, green was... tbh not on a lot of the time. Not good to watch from most POVs

i could be wrong about a couple things but like this is my general feeling on it, odd timing and weird balancing combined with toxic fandoms caused by competitiveness within the streams kinda ruined it for me, you can only curate ur experience so much

I really like how you put the first part because it was also something that I had felt about the event but I couldn’t really pinpoint why? I’m sure that a lot of the planning came down to a lot of stuff we can’t see behind the scenes like trying to be mindful of the ccs/ admins schedules but scheduling purgatory so far out from the disappearance really changed a lot. Like I just got used to not having the eggs and being fine with that and a lot of the ccs did sort of move on/ adapt to it. Obviously most people want the eggs back safe but I think some novelty has worn off after being away from them for so long. I think purgatory would’ve had more of an effect if the wound was more fresh when purgatory took place it would’ve made the stakes higher and I don’t think as many people would be saying “oh I don’t care if the eggs die at this point just end purgatory.”

Also the rules changing I noticed too was really jarring from day to day. I feel like a lot of the qsmp is like this and it’s a product of the admins being quick to respond to complaints in general and changing things accordingly. In my ideal world where the admin team could’ve just run the event with a test group to almost like stress test the rules? but i doubt that’s a very viable option. It would’ve been nice to see teams strategize more than play off the cuff in the limited time frame they have I feel like that only really rewards people with spontaneous playstyles

I think a lot of the problems with balancing fanbases revolves around people not knowing how to act online. The qsmp has long stretches where there isn’t much character conflict so that’s attracted a lot of people who feel really attracted to one pov and just don’t know how to handle conflict. We’ve seen this stuff outside of purgatory like during the entirety of the elections arc and when characters have an insignificant argument in rp. I don’t think you could balance viewers while also balancing skill but its definitely a problem that exists and doesn’t really have a clean solution. Also I do think the division of teams was to encourage different people to interact or possibly drive more in rp angst but it did fall flat in ways that were unintended.

Overall I think a lot of purgatory was trying to cater to a lot of people at once but thats just not working. I enjoyed the event from the standpoint that no matter what the admins want a good audience experience and they wouldn’t intentionally let us down. This seems more like a fundamental flaw in the server maybe? That it’s just not structured to be doing competitive game in this format at the very least.

[spaceheadcadet]

I've been hyperfixated with a RnM for about two months now. Fairly new into the fandom, I know. Feeling kinda late, but oh well. And I like Doofus Rick. Especially after seeing a blog that drew him so well, I just can't stop. It made me really sad that I'm two–three, eh, heck many years late into this small wonderful side of the fandom. Anyway enough about the rant. I'll just post the thing I typed.

P.s. I haven't thought of a title yet.

It's a reader insert and I don't know how slow I can get the burn going. But here's part 1. Not proof read so I hope it's coherent.

It was raining when you saw him for the first time. Right in front of his yard, just standing alone and drenched in cold…from the heavenly tears falling down the sky. How melodramatic. Not that you judge the guy. You were just concern. 

Surely he’d be sick by tomorrow. Because your weak ass immune system definitely would. 

You were on your way to the old house that night,  the house you inherited from the man who made you never acknowledge the word father in your entire dysfunctional life. Just another ordinary night under the wailing sky, on your way to that cold shelter after a tiring day at work. You were fairly new into the neigborhood so you ignored him at first. Days turned to weeks and the rumours soon reached your notice, giving you more reasons to ignore the man with a blue bowl-cut hair. 

They said he was weird and something else you decide to dismissed until proven. 

Still it made you no better than the rest of the people that always belittles the man, turning your head the other way, passively you were still considered as an accomplice. But what good will it even do if you’re a nobody trying to survive just for another day. 

So, you carried on, passing by him multiple times whenever it rains or whenever you saw him into a nicer weather, you ignored him. Nothing but a coward hiding behind the mask of indifference and excuses. 

On some occasions you would see a glimpse of an entirely different persona on the man, whenever he was interacting with the next door neighbors. He was all smiles, naivety emitted from his demeanor, like a child wearing oversize clothes to pass off as an adult. Entirely different from the times you saw him standing under the rain. He was also a soft spoken fellow with an occasional stutter either caused by anxiety or a condition. 

You never understood how he could keep acting like he wasn’t ridiculed between hushed conversations and judging eyes. Always been optimistic or simply keeping himself into this safe bubble of blissful ignorance. Or how he was still treating everyone with kindness even though most of his efforts to reach out were usually reciprocated with a cold shoulder. 

And you were no different from them after he knocked on your door one morning, offering to help clean up the overgrown and neglected yard, another attempt to get to know you. Although his intention was pure coming from the polite offer, you halfheartedly decline. You didn’t want anything to do with him. 

Annoyingly on the next day it made you finally mow the lawn and clean up the overgrown in the backyard. It took a few months of ignoring the state of the house before you finally got the motivation needed to clean and fix the damn place, all thanks to the neighborhood's doofus(it’s mostly what you’d been hearing from the people around) knocking on your doorstep. You hoped that would be the last he would bother you. Since the first(giving you a box of cupcakes as a welcoming gift) interactions you got from him immediately garnered side glances in your direction. 

Sometimes you wished you were not so emotionally restrictive sometimes. To have even a miniscule amount of care to enact compassion instead of sticking by the comfort of apathy. 

Maybe time would come when you gathered enough courage to do something, even a small act of kindness. But for now you turned your head the other way, in the safety by him getting out of your field of vision. 

…

Neon signs and street lights blur behind the window, droplets of the rain started pelting on the glass. The sound of it stirred you out of your shallow-dazed sleep. It’s raining again. A tired resigned sigh fogged the cold material seeping through your forehead. 

Everything felt heavier, sluggish, and dizzying. You blinked off the dizziness fogged your vision.

Fucking great. 

Soon the bus slowed into the halt reaching the bus stop, it was your stop. Unsteady from intoxication you stumbled almost tripping forward, when the driver finally hit the break. You really hate your aunt sometimes, showing herself unannounced in your work, and dragging you to have a drink with her. 

A hasty apology blurted out of your mouth when you grabbed into one of the steel pole, startling the old man near it. You continued scrambling out of the bus until you get out with slurred thanks for the driver, and then run towards the waiting shed. Resting a bit on the bench you rummaged inside your bag for the folded umbrella. The rain went harder as if the sky was punishing you. You’re going home with a pair of wet socks and shoes again. Ugh, it didn’t help that you were barely walking straight. But the urge to eat and drink something just to remove the aversive sweetness at the back of your tongue, along with the burning emptiness in your stomach, maybe even brushing your teeth twice to be sure afterwards, was enough motivation for you to finally move your drunken ass. 

The umbrella opened with a pop and you walked towards the direction of the house with a slight sway in your gait. 

Your lips curved from a wince when the cold water started seeping through. Soggy fucking socks never felt good, one of the reasons why you always hated the rain. 

Hate. You always hated things. The prominent emotion you had growing up, so you grew to hate things that were constant in your life, just like the rain, just like the taste of the alcohol coated on your tongue. You hated that you had to walk wet all the way through the house. The damn house that was thrown into you because it was old, ugly, rotting, along with the people that had never been part of your life, either physically and emotionally. You hate–

Damn it! 

You stopped, eyes casted down on your shoes. You needed to stop or your thoughts will spiral back into that dark room. 

The hollowness in your chest itched the urge for a smoke. To fill your lungs, the sting, and burn down your throat just for the momentary feel of fullness expands in your chest. 

Desperate for a distraction to latch on to something, anything that will prevent you from further fanning the flame of self-hate just to keep the empty coldness in your chest consumed you.  

You couldn’t keep doing this to yourself. Sighing heavily you looked up again, walking with more urgency this time. After taking a right turn, although your vision blurred a bit from moving your head faster towards the certain direction, a routine your attention gravitated to without fail, again he was there. 

Another variable that becoming constant in your life. 

Fueled by spite and vodka you stop on the other side of the street right in front of his house. This guy, what was so bad in his life that he have to stand under the fucking rain every time. Why does he act like the most pathetic human being right now? Why couldn’t he stay smiling and be naive? Why did you have to see this every time? 

The march came to a halt when you reached his unmoving figure, head tilted up in the sky, eyes shut from the world around him. Up close he looked…mournful. Calmly making peace with the antagonizing torrent around him. Like crying through his eyes wasn’t enough anymore that he had to cry along the sky. 

Stretching your arms forward you extended the umbrella towards him. Coldness started cascading the side and back of your head down to your nape, easing a bit of the heat caused by the alcohol and temper.  

He must be so deep in his mind that he hadn’t noticed your presence, but soon enough the lack of the rain hitting his face tugged him back in the moment. At first he only looked at the dark underside of the umbrella, then his head dropped, aligning his vision in your direction. He stared at you for a while, eyes still in deep before the awareness slowly stirring. 

A shake in your arm from the ache urged you to grab his cold hand guiding it on the handle. Both of your hands pressed his to secure the hold on the handle before you let go. And without saying a word you left. 

“Wait!” 

You pretend you didn’t hear him but you overestimate your ability to stride when your legs were barely stable, you were on the verge of puking your guts out, and head throbbing from the heaviness of exhaustion. 

So, color you surprised when a hand landed on your shoulder and the force of his pull easily knocked your balance. You forgot to take into account that your clumsiness shines whenever the alcohol was absorbed into your system. 

Stepping behind to rebalance yourself only resulted in slipping onto the wet surface before gravity won, once again. 

“Aw, geez, you slipped. Are you alright?” 

In an instant he was helping you, pulling you back up. The umbrella crookedly wedged between his neck and shoulders in an attempt to keep the umbrella upright.

“You shouldn’t have followed me,” you grumbled while stabilizing your balance again. 

“Why shouldn’t I? You just left your umbrella, not that I don’t appreciate the gesture but now you are all wet. And I’m already drenched, so I don’t think I will need the–”

Damn you forgot that he rambles. “Keep it. You look like you need it more than I do.” You said ignoring most of his ramblings. 

He kept following you though and trying to cover you from the rain with the umbrella you’d just given him. Annoying long legged creature. 

“But I already own a few. I don’t need–”

“Then maybe use it next time. That’s its purpose after all.” You spat a little when a drop of rain hit your mouth.

“If you know its purpose then why are you giving it to me? You own this after all. You shouldn’t. You.. Why…why are you suddenly doing this?” 

You really wanted to reach your–the house faster and puked until your vision get hazy from tears, puked until you were sobbing and barely holding yourself up from the intensity of it, then maybe just maybe it would expel all the hate festering your insides, leaving holes. Then maybe you could stop latching into the battered mask from the accumulated resentment, finally let yourself grief, be free. 

“Because I need to feel the rain.” 

The crack in your hardened voice oozed the pain underneath the piled bricks of hate, built up like a pillar where you placed all other emotions you have. High, unreachable, detached from the world around you. And the crumbling pieces get into your eyes looking up in resignation, watching your stability crumble. 

You didn’t bother looking back, not even a glance to make sure he was still following you, not even when you no longer heard his footsteps. 

Trickles of hot and cold contradiction trailed on your cheeks. You just wanted to rest your tired eyes, lay down and just sink even for a moment, in the pool of your bottled up emotions. Then maybe this time you would be soaked enough of it to fill the pit inside. Hold all of it back inside and hope you are strong enough under pressure, the weight of it all the love that left nowhere to go.  

…

Fingers tapping hastily on the screen of the phone, you promised you’d never walk under the rain ever again. You didn’t regret it, but you were not doing it again. 

An itch in your throat spasmed a cough out of you. It came into strings, chains of events that after the bouts of scratching your throat in a form of dry coughing, now you feel it all raw. Sore throat was one of the signs your immune system had been compromised. 

You tapped the send. A simple notification for your supervisor that you couldn’t make it in the studio today. You even used your Aunt for a lame excuse, it’s her fault anyway. Forcing you to have a girls night which always entails consuming a large amount of alcohol. Always easier to blame others than hold yourself accountable, wow, you really do progress—ing further into being a POS. 

As you waited for the reply you grabbed the jar of honey in one of the cupboards for your tea. You clicked your mouth shut after the yawn, wincing from the pain when you swallowed again. 

In your temporary office, multiple boxes were still stacked in the corner of the room, a faded silhouette of squares and rectangles left on the obnoxious green wallpaper(not even the nice shade of green), some parts were even ripped from the posters you tore. You clean the questionable room and attempt to convert it into a small studio. But you still have a lot of work to do, for the room to be in your standard. Yet in the meantime it was better to have a clean workspace. 

When your dopamine was a poltergeist your motivation was equivalent to non existence at this point, except from the few hauntings every now and then.

So, yeah, for now you’d stick with a clean workspace. 

Knowing your supervisor the moment you open up your email you already got a job order. Man, even the concept of life and death didn’t jolt your supervisor even a bit, always the diligent asshole. 

An hour of editing later you needed another cup of tea for your throat and maybe food for your grumbling stomach. You almost grabbed a packet of cigarette and lighter, staring at the item contemplating if you would risk it. At the end the cigarette left untouched. 

Back in the kitchen you stood in front of the open refrigerator blankly staring inside the cold contraptions. You close it taking a deep breath before opening the ref again as if you were expecting the food in your mind wouldmanifest itself. 

There were times when you hated this tedious part of living. This was one of those days. 

Grumbling a curse in your native language you gathered the remaining vegetables and chicken breast. Chicken soup was better than nothing. 

You were in the middle of making another tea after dumping all the ingredients and seasoning in the slow pot cooker, when a knock on the door startled you.

Uhm, you were not expecting a visitor today or even ready to acknowledge the existence of your Aunt just yet. 

Yeah, you were not expecting him standing on your doorsteps again. You stepped back on the door after peeking through the peephole. This is for getting involved, you guess. 

The lock clicked and the door swung open. 

“Hi, neighbor. You must be c-confuse why I’m here again. I won’t take long of your time–”

As he explained his reason for his sudden visit you hear the annoying high pitch voice of the next door neighbor. You purposefully leaned out of the door frame and stared in their direction to announce your presence. Ticked off by the obnoxious one sided conversation the bitch is having with her mother, you started talking back. 

“I know hearing aids are a bit expensive but you better invest some of yourself a pair then maybe you’ll know the difference between inside voice to outside voice. Not that I care about your opinion though,” you clear your throat “I just don’t like hearing your whinny grating voice Susan.” 

Although Susan(not her real name) starts talking shit, her mom winces since she understood the sentiment, while you winced for a different reason. 

“That’s not nice,” he whispered. 

You looked up at your visitor, hand still covering your mouth as you cough. How long did you have to talk? It was irritating your throat. 

“I’m not nice,” you just set the stone further. 

He frowned, disappointed that didn’t shy away from his expression. 

“And not a liar,” you didn’t know why you added that. It kinda slipped out…for some reason. You sighed and held out your hand. 

Blue hair swayed to the side as he tilted his head displaying his confusion. God, your patience was already wearing thin when you could still hear the annoying neighbor’s voice now muffled by the confine of their house, the mom must have dragged her inside. 

“The *ehem umbrella. You said you’re here to return it.” Totally ignoring the other part of his speech. 

He looked even more disappointed when he unfolded both of his hands from his back, handing the umbrella to your waiting hand. 

A glimpse of the tupperware still in his other hand further confirmed the source of his disappointment. 

“How long will the muffins last?” 

And like a puppy finally getting his headpats he perked up. Still his enthusiasm had a pinch of confusion. 

“If you must know, these will last for five days if you keep it in this container,” then he showed you the tupperware. “Although the muffins taste the best when you eat it on the same day it’s baked. I was hoping you would like it freshly baked. W-why are you asking?” 

Unfolding your arms you point your throat. “Sore throat. Can’t eat sweets for a while.” 

“Oh, no. You got sick because you left your umbrella to me last night.” 

You waved off his concern. “It’s already sore from all the tequila shots from last night’s drinking. Along with my smoking habits,” you really wanted to end this conversation. 

The lanky blue haired neighbor on the other hand had something else on his mind as he pushed the tupperware in your arms. 

“I’ll be back,” he even gave you a reassuring smile

You watched him run towards his house, perplexed from what was that all about. What did you just get yourself into?

Not even a full hour until you heard knocking on the door again. Shoving your phone in the pocket of your sweater you slowly made your way towards the door. Before you open the door though you pull up the hood of your sweater enough to ease the chills on your nape. 

Your expression stays neutral as the guy greeted you with his signature buoyant smile, emphasising his buck teeth further. 

“Here, I made you a medicine for your throat,” he proceeded to show you a labelless bottle. “You just have to gargle fifteen millilitres of this for forty-five seconds. Make sure to time it right. Although this tastes more unpleasant than the regular oral antiseptic solution, it will soothe your sore throat in an instant.” 

This guy really talked a lot. You're just being polite listening to him till the end of his speech, but sometimes you wished he would make it short. And did you hear him right? He made it? Examining the labelless bottle, watching the orange liquid with concern. More concerned about the possible taste instead of the possibility of something horrible. 

“Thanks,” you cleared your throat again as you croaked. 

“You sound worse than before.” 

You just hummed this time. You’d been coughing a lot earlier, even nauseous since you are still recovering from getting stupidly drunk last night. 

“Have you eaten anything yet? Do you n-need help with anything else?” concern became dominant in his tone and he had this look like the two of you were already a long time friend. 

His sudden full blown concern didn’t settle well with you, even though you knew he was all good with his intentions you’re not used to genuinity. And you couldn’t berate him since you felt like sand had been poured in your throat. 

“Don’t bother. You’ve helped enough already,” you stepped back and held the door but you paused, having a second thought to just be a piece of shit as usual. “Thank you again, Rick,” you gently closed the door behind you but not without noticing the surprise, opening his eyes wider, looking comically wide awake than ever. 

The door clicked shut. 

…

Well, you survived. 

The medicine the neighbor gave you was indeed effective. The day after you were back to normal. Still the same indifferent bitch but cured of common sickness for a fragile peasant like you. 

As for the neighbor that helped you, only a few small things had changed. Like a simple nod from you when he waved in your direction. At first he looked utterly confused, eventually he seemed to accept that was the only form of greeting he would get from you.

You also received small packaged treats hanging on your door knob since you only get home twice a week because of a major project the studio got recently. 

Torn from this development you kept glancing on the cookies packed in a small plastic packaging secure with a baby blue ribbon. 

With a deep breath you let your back slumped on the backrest of the office chair. You raise your hand and reach for the anti-rad glasses your Aunt gifted you, and removed it. 

A groan prompted out of you when you stretched your back, arms extending, another tense muscles unravelled, before dropping your arms. 

Dull white ceiling encompassed your vision. You couldn’t wait for the project to reach its completion. Cramped up in the office for too long was making you sick.   

Curtains of brown hair and a pair of gentle brown eyes appeared on the edge of your vision, peering down at you. “Hey, wanna take a break?” 

“Not yet, T. Go take a break without me. I’m just stretching my back a bit.” 

His face moved out of your vision like he was pulled away. “Alright, but maybe you should stop teasing yourself with that cookie,” he left with a good natured chuckle on his trail. 

“Mind your damn business, T,” you grumbled feeling a bit annoyed. 

Silence ruled the small room, making your thoughts louder once you were alone again. 

Long deep breaths sucked the cold stale air through your nose, for a second you held your breath before slowly blowing it out through your mouth. You repeated the breathing exercise and stopped when lethargy was comfortably sitting on your shoulders. A push from your arms you pulled yourself upright and reached for the glasses beside the graphic tablet. As you pushed the glasses back your eyes it landed back on the cookies on the corner of your desk. 

The sound of the plastic crinkling disturbed the silence of the room. Up close you already had a feeling that the flavor of the cookies was another miss. 

It seemed like he made the whole thing a guessing game for the lack of feedback from your end. Might as well try it since everything he gave you so far was all good. 

Raisins

Soft chime of laughter rippled into the stagnant quiet room. 

…

“Soooo, are you gonna tell me why you asked for a drive to the grocery store?” pair of brown eyes peering suspiciously at you from the rearview mirror. 

“Please stay being my good friend, T.”

“First of all, I’m your only friend which instantly gives me the vacant spot for the best friend position. Second, you never cease to be creative, especially when you are avoiding something. Third, I am your best friend, not your complacent pleb,” he checked on you again through the rearview mirror. 

“Now I feel attacked.” 

“One of the privileges.”

“I’ll take it back then. This is an exploit.”

“Sorry no take backs. Nuh, uh. The pack is permanent and you sign it, Helen even witnessed the exchange of agreement. You shall face my wife’s wrathful curses if you stop respecting the pack. And it will be a very ugly affair,” he said with the voice he usually used when he was doing the impersonation of his wizard oc.  

“Oh, my, god! Stop it you nerd,” although you were shaking your head you were having a hard time holding your laughter from the fond memories. “Ok, ok, you got me. I suddenly crave a home cooked meal. Getting fed up with consecutive days of take out.”

This time you saw him looking sad, possibly missing his son and wife. “Yeah, me too. I miss Helen’s cooking and my pyjamas.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me. I want to sleep on an actual bed. I need my heavy pillow.”

T, makes a gagging sound. “You need a boyfriend, asap.”

“Can you not! The pillow is like the equivalent of a weight blanket.” 

“The need to have something heavy beside you, is an equivalent of unmet need for physical touch, buddy.” The car finally stopped. “You can’t stay living like a single goblin for life.”

“Bet.” 

“Oh, I’m telling this to Helen,” then he started doing his evil laugh. 

Head shook from hilarity but the giddy babbling in your guts kept stretching your lips into a tender smile. “Damn it, Thomas! Don’t ruin my goblin life fantasy.”

Chuckling as he tucked the stray strands of his long hair behind his ears, he finally exited the car. “No can do. Now come on. The goblin lord needs to do their shopping.”

…

Familiar smell of the savory seafood dish in your home country continued teasing your appetite. Sure you missed the place from time to time, paid a visit multiple times a year as much as possible. But that was before. Now all you could do was just reminisce about the old times. 

The egg almost slipped out of your hand while peeling the shell, getting lost in your head again. Your shoulders sagged, the sound of your huff was thick of nostalgia, homesick to the place that was never yours. 

You shook your head and redirected your emotion at bashing one of the eggs on the countertop harder than necessary. This time you pick up the pace of peeling the eggs for the toppings. 

Maybe it was time for another cigarette break. 

…

You swore the next door neighbor will be the death of you. You stepped out of the damn house just to smoke in peace, and next thing you were helping old poor Victoria pulled the dumb raccoon out of the gap in the wooden fence. 

While Susan screamed in the background. 

“Vicky. Ma’am for the sake of my eardrum, calm your daughter down,” you said, almost pleading with the older woman. 

Dumb raccoon and its fatass. You tried prying the wood so it could wiggle out of the gap but you forgot this furball doesn’t have the ability of the cat. And the only way to remove the helpless animal was to pull it out. 

You made sure the sleeves of your hoodie were down just in case the furball decides to get too feisty. It screeched louder when you pulled it bit by bit. When you unstuck half of its upper body you grabbed it by the nape. 

The raccoon kept fighting in your hold as you carried it towards the elder woman. 

“Throw it! Throw that ugly thing away!” Susan kept chanting. 

And being the shit you were, you swung the animal towards her. The woman screamed bloody murder while she scrambled away. 

“You shouldn’t keep feeding this fatass, ma’am.”

“Oh.” Vicky’s face sagged upon frowning. “I always wanted a pet. But you know my daughter’s husband. He didn’t like animals,” she said as she played with the hem of her blouse. 

You looked up in the sky and hoped you had enough patience remaining not to get involved. It hurt you that the old lady couldn’t enjoy doing what she loves because of some asshole’s opinion. Vicky was old and she deserved to live and enjoy what she wanted. 

“I’m sorry, Vicky.” 

“No, it’s ok. Thank you for helping me. You are right though. It got bigger,” chuckling Vicky took a last look at the raccoon, there was a sadness in her eyes as she smiled in resignation. 

“It’s fat for getting spoiled by a sweet old lady,” you said smiling back at her as you readjusted your hold on the animal. 

Vicky chuckles but it didn’t sound cheery per usual, waving goodbye at you on your way out of their lawn. 

On your way out though you saw another neighbor standing on the doorstep of the house. The whole interaction with Vicky already drained your social battery, added that there was still this fatass in your clutch you needed to take care off. 

Back facing you, his shoulders look wider from the lack of his usual white coat. So, he owned other clothes besides his usual get up. Kind of remind you of Thomas from the initial stage of getting to know the guy. 

“What do you want?” you asked in a tone firmer than earlier. 

His shoulder hitched, obviously startled from hearing you out of the house. 

“I’m just checking if you are ba–why do you have a raccoon?” he asked, pointing at the wriggling furball in your hold. 

“Tried being a food burglar next door. Fatty got stuck on the wrong gap of the fence.” 

“You helped Katrina?” 

What a waste of a good name for an awful person. 

“If you mean the screeching pig next door Susan, no. I helped Victoria.” 

That woman didn’t deserve her mother’s love. It kinda pissed you off that was why you never acknowledged the woman by the name her mother bestowed.

“Screeching pig? That’s not a nice thing to say. And her name is not Susan,” he said, reprimanding you again. 

“I’m not nice. And she does sound like a pig. Anyway, what are you doing here?” 

He followed you all the way to the backyard. Searching for something to temporarily contain the raccoon before bringing it to the nearest animal shelter later. 

“Aren’t you releasing the raccoon?”

You breathe through your nose before expelling the air through your mouth, so closed on snapping at the man. 

“Can’t. Not here.” your jaw clenches as the trash panda continues thrashing. “I’ll bring this fatass to the animal shelter or Victoria’s son in law will hunt this one,” too. 

But you can’t find anything of use. You doubt the box will keep the feisty thing contained. 

“I-I have a carrier if you want you can borrow it.” 

You look at him like he just told you the project in your work is magically done. “Yes, please. Because my fingers are starting to feel numb and this fucker is really, really heavy.” 

“Oh, ok. W-wait here.” Then he was running, long legs stretching into a wide stride. 

The raccoon squirmed again when you switched the hold to your left. 

“Sorry buddy but you have to be away here or you’ll be eating rat poison next time,” Victoria will definitely be devastated again if another animal stinks up dead somewhere in their yard. 

Soon, the lanky neighbor returned with the white carrier, just in time before the ache in your fingers became unbearable. He even helped get the feisty creature in the container. 

“Are you going now?” 

Huh, you almost forgot he was still here. Crouched in front of the faucet washing your hand, you remained quiet. 

Did he think he could meddle with your business just because he lent you the carrier? 

Shaking the water off your hand and waiting for it to dry you took another look at the raccoon. 

“Yeah, why?”

When your hands were less wet you proceeded to rub it on your pants. From the wooden bench adjacent to the wall laid the cigarette and lighter, you grabbed it and about to light one, but paused when the man with buck teeth spoke of the information that entirely slipped out of your mind. 

“Do you k-know where the nearest animal shelter is?” 

Dumb moments, eh, it's natural you got some of those. Although you knew an animal shelter, it was a bus ride away. 

Blowing a long string of smoke to your side away from the standing man near you, you notice him fidgeting, fingers tapping at his side. 

“No. Do you?” you asked even though you have an inkling he’ll start running his mouth again. 

“Oh, yes, I know. In fact it’s the same place where I brought Ms. Carrot—before. I’m still sad about that last visit but I don’t mind taking you there,” and indeed he looks sad, heartbroken even. 

If he fucking cried you swear you’d gonna lose it. 

“Hey, you don’t have to come if it brings back sad memories. Just give me the address and I’ll take it from here.” 

Conflict was obvious by the furrow right in the middle of his unibrow. Hesitation took form by the multiple times his lips parted, words just kept hanging right on the edge, unsaid. 

“It’s fine. Just tell me the address,” you pull out your phone and tap the notes. “I’m still going to drop by for the carrier afterwards.” you held your phone towards him. 

He stares at it for a moment then stares back at you. 

“I’m sorry but I only o-owned a landline phone,” he said sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. 

What? Did he just thought that–

Your other hand holding a cigarette moves toward your face, the heel of your palm digs into your eye, rubbing it. You couldn’t level with this guy anymore. 

“Type the address on the phone,” your jaw clench shut in an attempt to grind the insult you choose to keep to yourself. 

Shame colored his face flush of red and he scrambled to grab the phone to save a bit of his dignity. 

“I-I’m sorry. I thought you wanted to exchange numbers with me. N-not because of s-something else. Definitely not s-something else,” awkward chuckle shakes his hunched shoulders. “I’m not trying anything, I swear. J-just wanted to be friends,” he looked all tense as if he was already anticipating some backlash, from the way he moved with caution. 

You took the phone back as he gingerly held it out to you. And a quick apology stuttered out of him again before rushing out of the property.  

Guess you broke the dork without even the intention of doing so. He’s lucky you have a high tolerance for a guy like him.  

A friend, huh?

The cigarette butt scrunched under the force from getting pressed into the ashtray. You just noticed the stickers on the carrier now that you were staring at it with your full attention. 

“A carrot cake? How can vegetables turn into a cake?”

You asked the old woman smoking beside you. 

“That’s the magic of baking and cooking my little sweet tooth. You can make anything taste good if you know what you are doing.” 

Stretch of genuine smile pulled on the darken wrinkled lips of the blurry face looking down at you. Reminiscent from juvenile years slowly faded by the passing of time, yet you still latched on to the pieces of those memories like a lifeline. 

“Time for a walk, fatso,” you said pertaining to the raccoon circling inside the container. Off of the bench you grabbed the carrier and left after checking the location through a gps app.

…

Not expecting the whole 360 of your entire afternoon, you were now standing in front of Rick’s doorsteps, waiting for the door to open and be done with all the socializing for the day. 

The door creaked open, it stayed ajar for a bit before it slowly swung open. Rick greeted you with an awkward smile force on his lips, and before he could speak again you handed him the carrier. 

“Thank you for letting me use this, Rick. And, yes, the visit went well. The volunteers will release the trash panda into the wild tomorrow where it belongs. That’s all.” 

Not waiting for any response you turned around and left. Hungry and mentally drained, you just want to get back in the house. 

“Wait!”

Two steps more and you were out of the property but you were still compelled to stop, human curiosity you guess. You cocked your head urging him to speak. 

“I want to apologize for earlier, for assuming that–that you’re asking for my number. I got a bit carried away, got a bit confident–that we are some sort of friends now.” 

Huh, your brain was no longer braining because of the grumbling of your stomach. Besides the fact that you already got a lot going on in your brain and he just had to add himself in the chaos.

“Look, I’m not upset about it. But about the friend thing. I don’t know about that. Acquaintance, maybe?” you offered. 

“Oh. Yes, of course. Acquaintance. That made sense.” 

Disappointment was nothing new to you. But seeing it on someone with a genuine intention did sting. Especially when you knew he didn’t have a proper connection with people around him, you even heard from Vicky that the man has been alone ever since moving in the neighborhood, no family or relatives visiting, no significant other…nobody. 

“I better get going. Thank you again, Rick.” 

“Ok, goodbye–” The sound and the way he uttered your name was like the clutch from the sleeves, scared…desperate. 

Although you were used to jumping off the boat even before the boat barely sailed away from the shore, it didn’t mean it gets easier to swim. 

Each step still weighs heavily on your ankle. Another chain of shackles was added to the collection.  

Ugh, why do you keep getting involved with lonely people. 

[griefabyss69]

THREE!!!!!!!!! OF THEM!!!???

Hello!!! Thank you for asking about this one I'm pretty excited about it! This is a newer WIP - Another steddissy started this year after a conversation with my friend. It's going to be a longer fic, because when I write in Chrissy's POV I'm incapable of keeping it short. This one is already 11K and honestly has just begun LMAO... I'll probably end up breaking it up into two fics because I can see a natural stopping point in the middle of the plot. Her backstory is a little made up in the way that fandom already has taken what little we were given about her and came to it's conclusions. I take the religious trauma of it all a little further, and so while it's not explicit in the text, she is from one of the c*lty sects of christianity, and is at the part of her story/healing where she's making moves to get out of it. Here's a long piece of it bc it's hard enough to decide on what to share!!!: (Contents: allusions to the shitty parts of christianity, rated T for vague horniness, canon levels of drugs)

When Chrissy had become friends with Eddie, she had liked how it seemed like their own private little thing.

Just two people showing each other the craziest stuff they could find from two different worlds - Eddie's were gifts and hers were something Eddie called a blurse, a blessing and a curse.

She had to agree, he gave her proper weed and let her pick through his hidden music collection and let her try on his clothes and -

-tried on her clothes.

And what she gave him in return had been stories, mostly. Things that even deeply into her indoctrination she had known felt weird, wondering if life really was always like that, or at the very least knowing she was never actually going to be what they wanted her to be.

So he cringed and laughed and sometimes got tears in his eyes and didn't even try to hide them and she got to have fun, mostly. Turned on, sometimes, but she thinks that if God didn't want that to happen then he shouldn't have let someone with Eddie's waist try on her cheer skirt.

Anyway, their private little bubble was comfortable and safe and she was trying so hard every day now, to keep the damned thing intact.

It's just that going to the secluded Christian College at the end of town everyday just happened to put her right into Eddie's area, and while everybody else thought she was studying at the library or going for a workout to keep in shape or if they were really out of the loop, on a date with her ex-boyfriend; she was with Eddie.

Yeah, sometimes she studied or did her homework at his place, if reading from the textbook out loud just to watch his smile fall further and further into disgusted horror when she found something really terrible counted as coursework.

Most of the time they shared exactly one joint, sat a respectable amount of inches apart on the couch, and ate whatever new thing he'd been trying out in the trailer's tiny kitchen.

Honestly it made her heart start singing praises that sounded nothing like hymns at all.

The bubble does, eventually, burst.

But it's not her fault, and it's not even Eddie's fault.

Steve Harrington rocks up to the trailer one evening, looking like he bathed in gold as the sun sets behind him, and Eddie's composure crumbles to the ground and rebuilds itself in two quick blinks, all right before her eyes.

Yeah, that has something inside of her withering to hide under a shadow, but it also does something beautiful for her heart anyway. She'd… not known, but maybe hoped, that if Eddie wasn't into her then it'd be because he's gay. Not for her ego or self esteem or anything, being Eddie's friend is like working at a self esteem factory, but because he's just so.

There's just something about him that's outside of everything rigid in her life, and she'd been maybe even too scared to think about it directly, but with how easily he acts around her even when he's being so polite with very particular things, how they can do a little bit of flirting and it's just for fun, even if she thinks way too hard about it later… maybe there's reason for that.

Guys don't just flirt with her and not follow up on it.

So the bubble has burst and Steve Harrington is here, reminding her about the way she also used to get flustered around him, though Eddie's doing a much better version of not letting it to get to him than she'd managed.

Though it wouldn't have been an issue if she'd gotten caught looking too long.

Her breath catches in her throat at the thought of Eddie getting found out and vows to protect him however she can, even though like, she could be reading this whole thing completely wrong.

Eddie protects her though, if not physically then from the first half of her day.

She keeps her eyes off of his bare forearms as he lets Steve in and gives him a familiar spiel, though usually he makes her hide in his room before letting someone in to do a sale. He must trust Steve enough, for some reason.

"Oh, hey! Chrissy, nice to see you," Steve greets her, the stubble on his face adding something extra to his smile that makes her want to put him in a bubble. "You also here for Eddie's… services?"

The way he says it honestly sounds… dirty, and she has to think of Antarctica and keep her breathing slow so she doesn't turn into a human tomato.

If Eddie's services were at all about sex then she'd…

Anyway.

"Sort of," she says, not sure how much Eddie wants him to know, not sure how much she trusts him. "Just a joint."

Steve nods, his smile relaxing into something more genuine at the corners, and it's weird for a second, because the smile before had looked plenty real.

"Nice choice," he says, nodding like he's actually impressed, and that's got to just be for conversation.

"Steve, you wanna stay and smoke with us?" Eddie asks, coming back down the hallway. "I was thinking about ordering a pizza."

Chrissy raises her eyebrows, unable to keep from looking surprised. Today was supposed to be what Eddie said was a perfected recipe day, something he'd been working on and she'd been his audience for.

She'd tried his first attempt and one in the middle, and if he'd improved it anymore since then, she wanted it.

Eddie shoots her a wink - a sorry, thanks for putting up with his bullshit, and a promise to fill her in later all in one.

"That um, honestly sounds good," Steve says, and under Chrissy's scrutiny he looks… just as awkward as Eddie does.

It's like watching seventh graders compliment each other's braces.

She smiles, tosses a piece of hair over her shoulder, and spins to head off down the hall.

"Awesome! I'll be right back," she calls, going into the bathroom so she can try to condense the supernova of what might be affection or even just plain excitement down into three minutes of silent shrieking.

[madlad-sadgal]

Intro Post

Did I just now realized I haven't made one? Yes. But here it is now!

My Blog/About Me

My blog is a safe place for practically everyone (except for TERFs, get off my page). I don't care if you're here just to look around, or if it's because you're interested in one of the things I talk about, you're welcomed here and I'll gladly talk with you about whatever it is you might want to! <3 I'm active in a few fandoms on here, mostly Nimona, though I also like RWRB, LOTR, and a bunch of other stuff.

About me, I'm bigender and mostly use he/him and she/her, though I'm comfortable with pretty much anything. I also think I'm pan, but I've kinda been doubting that recently? Eh, I'll get through it. I live in Quebec so you might catch some works written in French (I'll probably add the translations under cuts though).

Writeblr

I've been meaning to get more into Writeblr and share more about some of my writing, fanfiction and original works alike. The things I like to write most about is fantasy and also LGBTQ+ stuff. So here are two original works you might catch me talking about:

Life after Life (Undefined Title) Tag: Life After Life(:OC/Plot/Etc) This is a story of two soulmates, reincarnation, immortality and betrayal. One is immortal, while the other one is mortal. The immortal one has to watch as their lover dies, but they always get reincarnated and always manage to find each other, usually when the mortal one is around 20 years old. Except this time, it takes until the mortal is 27 years old for them to find each other, and the immortal doesn't think much of it at first, but they can't help but notice that their lover is acting differently than they did in their past lives, which isn't inherently bad, but they can't remember a single time when their personality wasn't the same at the base. But it as time keeps passing, it becomes clearer and clearer that their lover is not the same, and someone seems to know of their immortality. Someone they may have met in the past. Now they have to try and protect themselves and their lover from this person, but what can this mortal be hiding from their own soulmate? What shall they do when war and love collide? Will they forgive each other for these hidden secrets? More importantly, will they manage to stay with each other this time, or will they be forced to wait until the next life once more? (Also ending line idea: Mortal, dying: I'll see you in the next one, yeah? Immortal, crying, and holding them: And every single one that follows.)

Love is a Fantasy (Been working on this one for over a year now, the one I'll be talking about the most because this is one I am very passionate about. Also don't get fooled by the title, this isn't just filled with unrequited love.) Tag: Love is a Fantasy(: OC name/Plot/Etc) LGBTQ+ story exploring how teens go through questioning their gender and sexuality and how people may pride themselves differently on this stuff.

Alex is a gay teenager who isn't ashamed of his sexuality, but keeps it to himself mostly. He is lucky enough to have accepting parents and friends, but the crush he has on one of his best friends may complicate their friendship, which terrifies him. He uses he/him pronouns.

Ava is a non-binary lesbian teenager who uses they/them pronouns. They are proud of their sexuality and gender and never hesitate to correct people who misgender them. They've been friends with Alex since the two were young. Their parents aren't exactly weirded out by them, but more so confused by all this, but Ava gladly answers all their questions and doesn't let that stuff get to them.

Ethan is a bisexual teenager who turned Ava and Alex's duo into a trio, but lately, he's been wondering if maybe he's not as attracted to women as he originally thought. This terrifies him because his parents aren't the most accepting people, and he also has a girlfriend whom he doesn't want to break the heart of. But of course Alex just has to complicate everything, doesn't he? ;)

Avery is Ethan's girlfriend, but she's dealing with a lot at home, and now on top of that she doesn't know where her feelings stand. She thought she was pan her whole life, not feeling a difference in romantic attraction towards gender, but all of this comes to a half when she meets one of the new kids who explains she doesn't feel any romantic or sexual attraction, and now she doesn't know where anything stands anymore.

Evelyn and Chelsey have been friends since they were young, often helping each other hide their sexuality and genders from their Christian parents. Evelyn is pansexual and bigender, often stepping way off of the gender binary and just having fun with her looks, though a certain Ava catches her eye once she meets them. Chelsey is aro-ace and is open to pretty much any pronoun, and they have a pretty feminine style.

All these kids meet in an LGBTQ+ club (created and hosted by Ava), and are now helping each other figure out their sexualities, helping each other hide certain things from Christian parents, and just trying to get through the horrors of the teenage years.

Other Socials

Just my AO3 for now:

[th3w00ds]

And All That You Know, You’ll Be Leaving It Behind 

Title From: Hero of Our Time by NateWantsToBattle

Fandom: Youtuber Egos

AU: None

Content Warnings: Not proofread

(This exists cuz I wanted to write something for Time and Arbiter :D)

----------------------------------------

Time had been settling in quite well to the residence of the other… what was it they called themselves? Egos? Yes, that was it. Time had thought he was settling in quite well in this house with the other Battle egos, although it was quite weird to see as many people who looked the same as him.

In his old universe, before he got transported here, he had only had a resemblance to one individual: Arbiter Dragmire. That was Time’s former friend, current rival and enemy. 

Arbiter… just thinking about that traitor made a chill go down his spine. Time didn’t want to think about when Arbiter had managed to defeat the royal family of Hyrule and start his horrible reign; a few weeks after that, Time was transported to this world. One with, to his knowledge, no Arbiter. 

Just then, Time heard footsteps, and his hand rushed to his sword instinctively. When he saw that it was just Phantom and Natemare, Time calmed, and moved his hand from the weapon. Natemare shifted on his feet a little, just barely taking out his headphones, and Phantom tapped his cane on the floor once. Time looked at him.

“So, how’ve you been? We haven’t seen you a whole lot, and you’re pretty quiet… I can totally understand, but we wanted to check in on you, see how you were,” Phantom said. Natemare nodded. 

“Yeah, what he said.” Natemare said, looking at Time. Time didn’t answer for a few moments, and simply stared up at the two.

“I’m okay,” He finally said, “I like this place,” Time was looking between Phantom and Natemare, then deciding to just look at Phantom.

“That sounds good,” Phantom said. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. They had no guests scheduled for right now, and Nate wasn’t supposed to come by for another week… odd.

Time stood up, and walked with Phantom and Natemare to the door, standing off to the side next to Natemare. Phantom opened the door, and Time had to do a double take at who he saw. 

It was Arbiter. He looked the exact same as the last saw him; Time stepped back, letting out an exhale. Arbiter stepped in, not yet looking in the direction of Time. 

“Hello, my name is Arbiter Dragmire, and I’ve been told that this is a safe place for… egos?” Arbiter said, pausing briefly before saying egos. Time thought that was because Arbiter also had trouble adjusting. 

“Well. That entirely depends on how you act towards the others here. If you harm another ego here majorly, I will ask you to leave. That’s pretty much the only main rule we have..” Phantom said, looking Arbiter up and down. Time could never guess what the demon was thinking in a thousand years. 

Arbiter’s eyes slowly scanned the room, and eventually landed on Natemare and Time, before staring at Time. Arbiter glared.

“You,” Arbiter said, his hair growing longer, glowing red now, his eyes turning orange, “Of course. I should’ve expected that you would be here.” Arbiter’s voice held all possible animosity towards Time, and Time saw gloom and malice gathering in Arbiter’s hands. 

In response, Time drew his sword, ready to defend himself and possibly the others. Time stepped forward, pointing his sword at Arbiter like he had done many times before. Suddenly, Phantom got in between the two egos, pushing the both of them back. “Arbiter. Time. No fighting, you can talk about this. There’s no need to go destroying this house in your fight.” He said, looking at Time, then Arbiter. After a few moments, Phantom stepped back. Time glared at Arbiter and Arbiter returned the gesture. The malice and gloom slowly dissipated from Arbiter’s hands, his hair went back to its normal length, and it became its regular color again. Time sheathed his sword, sighing. No fighting was good, it finally ended him and Arbiter’s streak of fighting whenever they saw each other. Arbiter was still glaring at Time. Time looked at Arbiter in the eyes, and spoke loudly. 

“I’ll tell you this once; Do not attack me or anyone else here, or I will need to stop you again. Hopefully for the last time.” Arbiter scoffed, “As if,” he said, “I could beat you in a one on one fight with no weapons, I could beat you in a fight with weapons,” “You might think you can, but I think its time you stop underestimating me, Arbiter. That has been the thing that defeats you each and every time,” Time replied. Time looked down at the floor, and then walked away, leaving Arbiter with Natemare and Phantom.

[managician]

Getting back into Sonic has reminded me of how much I love sontails... It's such a cute and fluffy ship, they just warm my heart so much. 

I’ve seen a lot of hate for it lately, though, so I ended up writing a whole essay (aka rambling) about why I think they’re great together. Figured I’d share that here for anyone that might need a pick-me-up :) 

(Or for people interested in learning the perspective of a shipper, ig. I’m open to discussion.)

“What’s so good about them?”

I know plenty of people hate it romantically, but I really adore their bond in any shape or form. The idea of this really cool hero that's just some guy and his nerdy life partner settling together feels so wholesome to me, with how much they appreciate each other.

There's a closeness and mutual understanding in their dynamic that is simply perfect. I can see them casually growing into a relationship once it hits them how much they need each other in their lives — and it'd be the mushiest thing known to man, I tell you. 

To Tails, Sonic is his light and source of inspiration, after saving him from bullies; to Sonic, Tails is the best buddy he could've asked for, someone loyal that will always keep up with him. They mean the world to each other. They're very attached, to the point the other character feels 'wrong' when they're alone (Sonic: Tails... it’s weird without you following me... [Frontiers], Tails' whole disappearance act after Sonic went missing [Forces]).

It isn't hard to imagine the adoration they hold for each other in a romantic light.

They're always together, through thick and thin. They were each other's first friend. Wanting to keep the other safe, wanting to support them… those are emotions just as powerful in friendships than in relationships, and very much present in their case. 

They're literally called the Unbreakable Bond. Their friendship has been put to the test before, but it always stays firm in the end — so how would their closeness work in case either of them developed feelings...? It's pretty cute, it can be drama-free if you want it to, but it can be kinda angsty and interesting all at the same time. 

With how important they are to each other, anything that alters or touches on their bond can make for great character development. That really drew me to them in the first place.

(Here's the point when someone would come in and say "You're a freak, please kys", to which I'd reply, I have to wonder what part of what I described is 'freaky' whatsoever. 

I see them as best friends, and their ship dynamic as an adorable, budding love born out of their dozen adventures together. I've clearly stated as such. If that's gross to you, I got nothing, to be honest.)

“Okay, but they’re brothers. You’re disgusting.”

Of course, I understand why people see it brotherly as well, and respect that vision. But I grew up with them in the 2010s, with them being strictly best friends, and with their bond always getting the spotlight in the titles I was initially familiar with [Colours, Lost World]. 

They complimented each other perfectly back then, and they still do now that I’m familiar with more of the Sonic franchise.

I feel the whole brother thing is prominent in English versions of the media, such as certain scripts having Sonic call him "lil' bro" as a term of endearment, or the old cartoons [AoSTH] where they are actual family. I never got that impression from them while playing the games in Spanish, and I think the fact it's a well-known ship in the fandom overall shows I'm not the only one.

Being "as close as family" is also a very popular trope for people into romances, whether you personally like it or not. It can stay like that, with the characters treating each other like the sibling they never had, or evolve into them seeing each other in a different light as time passes, thanks to their closeness. Both are good, healthy outcomes.

“They also have an age gap.”

Ah, yes, there's the matter of age difference as well. I didn't know about their ages when I was a kid, I found the discourse surrounding them absurd when I was a teenager, and I'm not gonna care about it now that SEGA removed them from their profiles, since it's obvious they didn't ever make much sense. What kind of 8 or 12 year olds drive planes and cars?

In the games I’ve played, Sonic and Tails have been consistently portrayed as best friends, first and foremost, by most writers. That's the media I care the most about, and the one that made me invested in the characters in the first place.

(Also, fun fact, official Sonic designer Naoto Ohshima has occasionally liked and retweeted sontails art. So I don’t think it’s “wrong” to their eyes in current canon.)

In conclusion: I see an endearing friends to lovers narrative in sontails. I see Tails thinking Sonic is the coolest person he's ever met, and Sonic thinking the same about him in return. I see them finding a perfect partner in each other, falling in love with the person that saved them from solitude.

They're cute as best friends, they're cute as bros, and they're also cute as a couple. I just love them. 💙💛

People are perfectly within their right to be uncomfortable with the ship or its fans. But if you dislike them and read this far, I hope I could make you understand, even if just a little bit, why they're not bad to my eyes. 

To any sontails fans out there, keep being awesome (and feel free to interact/add on to this post, I’d love to meet more people that like them too!)

[eldritchnoms]

A calm moment

After a long and hard day two boyfriends, eldritch god and magician, are having a well deserved rest, with one of them being inside the other, enjoying the odd scenery, and questioning his tastes and reasons.

Fandom: Identity V

Words: 1300

         Glowing walls were softly churning, pulsing a bit around him. Slime dripped from the squishy flesh and down on him and around, pooling underneath the man, soaking his clothes. And all he was doing is just lying there, relaxing as his gloved hand gently rubbed odd looking folds, with tiny tendrils and villi-looking sprouts growing out of them. Walls were so fluffy, so cozy to just cuddle with, and the soft gurgling and growling were really soothing and pleasant to the ear… Especially after such a long and tiring, absolutely exhausting day of running away from Hunters, hiding, and getting kicked around by both said Hunters and sometimes even your fellow Survivors- A comfy gut was a more welcoming company than some people at this point.

         “Are you doing alright in there, Servie?” the eldritch god asked, carefully rubbing his belly over where his boyfriend was, “If you are worried or even scared you can always ask me to spit you out.”

         “No no, Has, I’m completely fine.” Magician answered, smiling as tendrils carefully wrapped around his hand. He gently rubbed them, pinching playfully, and watched them squirm, “It’s so nice in here… Warm and soft… I never would’ve imagined you have such comfy guts.” Servais chuckled.

         “Ah, yes-“ Feaster carefully rubbed his belly, blushing, “I wanted this to be a nice experience for you, even if a little odd. I rarely get to just hold people safely within me, everyone is always scared.”

         Well, it was understandable why people were scared, but Servais didn’t speak out, he didn’t want to upset his boyfriend in any way. He rubbed a wall again, brushing his hand through tendrils and enjoying the fluffy feeling. How weird… A couple of years ago Hastur scared his heart out every time he’d encounter him, be it around the manor or in the match. Servais tried to avoid him, like he did with mostly everyone- But it was different, this was an eldritch god, the being that thirsted for knowledge and could cause chaos. Feaster is a very tall and powerful being, both when it comes to brute strength and intelligence. His face is nothing, but a thick cosmic mist with cat-like eyes, his legs were massive tendrils that also acted like extra hands when necessary, and his body was covered in sand-yellow, tattered robes. It was a scary sight for anyone at first, and Servais wasn’t an exception. But here he is now- Sitting inside one of the god’s stomachs, relaxing as he listens to the gurgling, and enjoying the cradling the churning creates. It’s nice… really… Who would’ve thought that He out of all people would come to the point he’d willingly ask someone to eat him-?

         “Hastur?” Servais gently kneaded a wall.

         “Yes, dear Servais?”

         “Why do you think I enjoy being within you?” he asked. It was a question he could never form a proper answer to. Yes, it was cozy, soft and warm, but that felt like it wasn’t enough-

         “Well, that is not a simple question, at least for a human mind, since it often denies things it enjoys out of fear of being judged or belittled.” Feaster started, laying down carefully on a bed, belly pressed against a soft mattress to make Magician feel hugged, “But I can answer this for you.” he gently rubbed his belly, while Servais nuzzled a soft wall, blushing as tendrils gently rubbed his face and brushed against his beard, “Despite everything you say you actually enjoy being eaten, because you feel safe and protected within me. Yes, you love how warm and soft this place is, you love it when I taste your body all over, lapping for any flavor that your body can give. You love it when my gullet squishes and pulses around you as it sends you down to my depths towards a fleshy, warm sack. You love the churning my stomachs provide, love the warm slime and soft enclosure. But your main point is feeling protected within these squishy walls, and the dim light they produce. It is like resting in a best kind of bed with fairy lights set up around you, all for you to have a wonderful sleep and forget about all the problems the world tries to throw at you. Nothing and no one can touch or harm you here. No one can judge or accuse you of horrible things. You are just within someone who cherishes you and who is ready to cover you and give you love, respect and protection.”

         Magician went silent. He looked at the pattern on a wall. They looked like tentacles reaching to the starry sky, spreading from the ground that looked like spilled paint… He carefully traced his fingers over it, feeling sorrowful on his heart… Servais felt a gentle rub against him, curling up and pressing himself against the spot as he thought of everything that happened to him before he entered the manor, and of everything that happened in it…

         “You are seeking love, Servais Le Roy. And being inside me means that you can stay as close to me as it is physically possible. It is like a very close and personal hug.” Hastur purred, patting his belly.

         Well… Now that he says it like this Magician couldn’t say it’s not true… It all was true, and as much as Servais would like to deny it – he just simply couldn’t. And didn’t actually want to… He planted a gentle kiss against a sensitive, bumpy spot and rubbed around it carefully.

         “Thank you, Hastur…” he whispered, nuzzling the fluffy walls like they were a pillow, “Thank you so much… I… I really needed this…”

         God tilted his head, pressing his belly against a mattress again before flipping over on his back and hugging it with tenties, massaging and stroking to give more comfort to the man.

         “Servie. You really should talk with me more openly. I can feel the great disturbance inside your soul that itches for help, yet you do not let it get it.” God said, not sounding judgmental at all.

         “I know… I know… I just don’t think I’m ready yet… It’s quite a lot of heavy things I will need to bring up and talk through, and I just don’t think I can do it right now… Maybe later, once I work it all out…” Magician sighs.

         “…I do understand you, Servais.” god nods, “But when you will be ready – remember, I will always be here to help you and support you no matter what obstacles will stay on my path. I will help you to go through anything, because I love you more than anything.” Hastur curled up on his side, hugging his belly.

         “I love you too, Hassie…” Servais smiled, giving a bump another kiss, which made walls light up a bit more and blush, “Have I told you how much I love your guts? It’s like a light show in here~” Magician chuckled, and so did Feaster, saying that yes, Servais did mention it before, but even hearing it for the hundredth time still made Hastur’s core warm up.

         “So, Servie?” Hastur started after some time of silence, “Would you like to stay there for now or continue your way down my system?”

         “Hmmm. Nah, I’m too lazy to move right now. Your guts are a literal labyrinth!” Servais giggled, patting the floor, “I want to just rest here for now. But if you will need to feel free to spit me out.”          “Please, you do not bother me or cause any uncomfortable feelings. You can calmly rest down there~” Hastur hummed, patting his belly before reaching for a book to read while relaxing, listening to his belly groan around his plump boyfriend, and enjoying a rare calm moment.

[chaos0pikachu]

Get canceled BL challenge: You're most controversial opinion about KinnPorsche and about Cutie Pie. Lots of big feelings in those fandoms. Good places to get canceled, me thinks 😎

LMAO truly are trying to get me cancelled anon

For Cutie Pie, I didn't realize there were Big Feelings but I genuinely don't think it's a bad show. Saw it get a lot of criticism while airing but like, visually it looks better than most 2019/2020 BL which made it at least enjoyable to watch visually. Sure the story is all over the place and convoluted at times but so was TharnType and it was visually much more appealing to look at than Until We Meet Again or 1000 Stars and everyone loves those shows.

Idk what the popular opinions in fandom are but like, I know ppl are super paternalistic over NuNew and I think that's flat out fucking weird. I'm majorly against para-social relationships in general, but like, ppl were going hard "mama bearing" NuNew and that's so damn strange to me. Like sure I want CooHeart to be safe b/c they're an out queer actor in an unfriendly industry/society but I don't look at them and go "aw my baby, my child, he shouldn't ever do intimate scenes that's not appropriate" like he's adult wtf??? NuNew might be young (I think he's like 22/23?) but he's still an adult in his profession and also a fucking stranger???? He doesn't need other strangers - like wtf is Carol from Kentucky gonna do? - "protecting" him I'm sure he has friends and industry people who can help him and guide him.

So I guess that might be an unpopular opinion

For Kinnporsche, whew oh boy I'ma come out with it and note this has NOTHING to do with the recent shit do not message me about that I don't wanna be involved:

Build didn't give me anything in the intimate scenes with Vegas and Bible out-acted him every step of the way. Like, their sex scene? I was unimpressed b/c Build was just not giving, he had no facial expression really, and once I noticed that I couldn't not notice it. It was especially jarring during the last Vegas/Pete kiss in the after credits scene b/c Build didn't kiss Bible back he just dead fished. I like VegasPete as a ship, and Pete as a character so I could overlook this but yeah that's how I felt and I know this is def an unpopular opinion

Second, and I know this is unpopular in general for BL but I dislike acting ships and would LOVE to see some switch ups. I think Apo and Bible would do some major magic on screen - both just in general but also playing a couple - along with like, Bible and Jeff too. I think keeping all the actors locked in "pairings" ie: Mile/Apo, Bible/Build, Jeff/Barcode is boring creatively (I feel the same about other acting pairings too not just the ones at BOC for the record, like I think Zee and Max would kill a series together too). I know this is unpopular b/c I've seen stan twitter in regards to the BOC pairs and it's annoying lol I'm super excited for the MileApo historical drama like any classy bitch but I think it'd be dope if they also worked with other actors

I was gonna comment on BOC but know what I'ma step back lmao