#it was almost as fun as it was nerve wracking

[mariacallous]

Just had the least formal and least nerve-wracking interview in my life. It was actually almost fun? The interviewer, who would be my boss, was really engaging and already seemed to want to hire me. I've got a second interview to come (the week of thanksgiving) with them and other staff, and part of that will be reviewing a sample of something I'd be working with for recommendations or critiques.

They mentioned starting in/by January,

The interviewer said I have a lot of really great experience that would help with the position, and I was already doing some of the stuff this position would be doing as it is in my current role.

Oh my god, maybe this time...

[halfdeadwallfly]

i went off a bit ago about music directing for acappella. anyway long story short, someone else decided they wanted to run too, and we finally had the election today, like three weeks later. i didn't think i was going to win, but i did. i'm happy, but kind of confused, because honestly the other person was more qualified. but we talked and it was nice, and we decided that either way we were really happy for eachother, and she's going to run next year. i'm excited to work with her eventually. i just feel. really weird. idk. my sibling tells me that this is the anxiety speaking, that i should be proud and that i deserve it, but tbh rn i just feel like somehow i conned the whole group into voting me in, when it should have been the other person. i'm scared that i got excited and oversold myself, and everybody's going to realize as soon as i actually start directing. i don't know. it was also such a long discussion that the group had before final vote, and it was a hard decision apparently. which just makes me think, what were they talking about? like, i know how discussions about musical auditions go- we talk about tone and range and pitch accuracy. but how do you spend so long talking about a role like music director. like i thought it would be a quick confirmation of experience and qualifications, and then the other person would be picked immediately. like, what about us took literally a half an hour to talk about and decide on? it's just a weird thing to think about i guess.

[translothcat]

[Text: What's Horizon Day? // The Crossing of the Horizon, or Ascendance day, celebrates a young person turning 20 and, in turn, reaching adulthood. // Ah I see. Is the crowning part of it? // It's a tradition the Royal Houses tend to include. It holds more significance for the crown line, but it's still symbolic for us other members too.]

The Crossing of the Horizon / Day of Ascendance is a tradition I've come up with for Alderaan!! It's not super exciting or unique it's just a coming of age celebration. The Royal Houses (I class the alderaanian houses as royalty- especially in this earlier time period) place more significance on it than regular citizens would. Regular citizens treat it more like an 18th or 21st. By this time, it's not actually a legal age for anything (that's just 18) but it's still treated as a significant threshold into adulthood, mostly just a cultural thing.

Cedar (the one asking the questions) is around the same age as Amira, so the Mizumi House realise that he has to have his Horizon Day too, and plan one for him :] which is huge for him, considering he really loves the idea of getting in touch with his Alderaanian heritage and culture.

Still going to think on fleshing out the traditions for it. I'm thinking it's just a party for most people. Royalty have the crowning from a parent. This stings Amira obv bc dead parents :(. It'll probably be her Aunt doing it unless I can think of someone else who would. hmm there should be more interesting things going on I need to think on this yes

oh also on her necklace that's a kyber crystal with her name engraved in aurabesh

[lavenderspence]

A bunch of cuties in love | A.H.

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader

Content warning: fluff, nicknames (i think that's about it?)

Word Count: 2.2K

Summary: Running late to a meeting with Strauss, Hotch leaves Jack with his favorite person - you. The scene that greets him when he comes back leads to some realizations. 

Request: Hotch request: BAU!Reader is Jack’s favorite and always spends the day with them when he’s brought along to the office. They have a cute bonding moment that Hotch secretly watches. Cue the “oh god I’m in love with them aren’t I”

A/N: it’s been two months today since I made this blog, and it’s been wild, it’s been fun, and it’s been a little teary. thank you for the love and support! Please enjoy this cute little hotch piece, I had a blast writing it! Thank you to the anon who requested this, and I’d love to hear what you think! Also, I miss old Disney😭

masterlist

9:23.

On the days you weren’t working on a case, and the only thing you really needed to catch up on was paperwork, your usual start time was 8:30. Yet almost an hour had gone by and he wasn’t in his office like he usually would be.

With a punctual Unit Chief like Aaron Hotchner, it was a shock, and a little nerve-wracking that he was late. 

You’d lie if you didn’t say you were getting a little worried, taking into account the last and only time he’d been late - Foyet attacking him in his own home, leaving him with long-lasting trauma, scars, and without his family. 

You'd never forget that day, and every day after where he was left to suffer, laying the blame on himself. No matter how many times you said it, how many times Rossi patted him on the back, reminding him it wasn't his fault, you knew a part of him still didn't believe it.

And the part of you that cared about him, maybe a little more than you should, didn't have the heart to watch him do this to himself - the silent guilt, the long empty looks. 

You’ve known him awhile, seen him through many of his ups, and just as many as his downs. You’d seen him laugh in glee and beam with happiness, you’d seen him lose it in anger and anguish and you’d seen him cry in heartbreak. 

So much of your life spent beside him, so many memories linked with him, and your team. And much of it you knew was friendly love - your love for Emily and Spencer, JJ and Morgan, Penelope and Rossi. But the love you felt for him was just a tiny bit different, deeper, not the friendly kind. 

You’d only recently started to understand what you were really feeling for him, as recent as the last few weeks. Still new and a little unexplainable at times, you were learning to balance that, within your friendship.

You didn’t think you wanted to pursue anything, right now. It had been a little over two years since he’d lost Haley, since he’d needed to start navigating his life as a single dad, a widower. 

You could still see the pain in his eyes, fresh as the day it had happened. You knew he was managing, but it was still apparent, that it was hitting them both hard.

And Jack? He was a little ray of sunshine in the otherwise gruesome life all of you led - the same could be said about Henry. But Henry was Reid's favorite, as his godfather, you knew the bond between them was unbreakable. 

But Jack? You were his favorite, and he was yours. 

He was your little buddy, your partner in all things art, cartoons, and Disney shows. He was your little helper during all things baking - you'd babysat once and he'd requested chocolate chip, peanut butter cookies and you'd been more than happy to help him make them.

He was a natural baker and a little taster. 

Your love for the little cutie ran as deep as your feelings for his dad.

At the end of the day though, you were a friend, a shoulder both could use to lean on and rely on. You were comfortable in your role within their little family and weren't looking to make any changes then.

9:28.

You were playing with your watch, already having decided you’d be giving him a call if he didn't arrive by 9:30.

Worry was making your hands sweat, and just as you went to wipe them on your pants, the door to the bullpen opened, and in walked a very frantic Hotch - his tie was a little crooked, shirt a little wrinkled, and Jack - a little backpack on his back, and a curious look paired with a timid smile.

Aaron's eyes searched the bullpen, as did Jack's, the little Hotchner noticing you seconds before his father did. You stood up, watching as the blond pulled away from his dad, and on a little run, made his way towards you. 

“Cutiee.” He called out, using the nickname you called him, to address you too. You leaned down when he was a few steps away, accepting his hug, his little arms wrapping around your neck. 

“Hi, cutie.” You greeted him, a wide smile on your face. Hotch had made his way over to you by then, giving you a barely-there smile, but his eyes shone.

“You're late.” You started, pulling to your full height.

“Yeah, Jessica was called on an emergency at the last minute, and Liah is away on a hiking trip, so here we are.” Liah was Hotch's neighbor, she looked after Jack for a few hours when Hotch couldn't stay with him, or Jess was busy.

He looked at his watch, running a hand through his hair, messing it up a little.

“I have a meeting with Strauss…well, right now. Can you please watch him until I get done?” 

“Go, don't make her wait. We'll be okay and we're going to have fun. Right, Jack?” You watched him nod at both you and his dad before Hotch exhaled.

“You're a lifesaver. Be good for Y/N, okay buddy.” Another nod from Jack, and he was on his way to Strauss's office.

‘’Okay Jack, let's see if Aunt Penelope can download a few episodes of ‘The Suite Life’ for us, and then we'll go color and draw for a while. Does that sound good to you?” 

“Very good. Can I also have orange juice?” He asked, taking your hand in his small, soft one, fingers wrapping around your own.

“Let's go see if we have any.” You walked towards the small communal kitchen space, checking the fridge and then you checked the pantry…and, “Bingo. Let's go see the lair.” You led him to Penelope's office.

“Knock, knock, may us mortals enter?” You joked, making your little partner giggle. 

“Us?” Her voice rang from the other side of the door.

“I have sir Hotchner with me. The smaller one.”

“Hey,” Jack said in outrage

“My favorite Hotchner.” You added.

Penelope pulled the door open, beaming at both of you, before she made space for you to enter. 

“Jack, my love, hi,” She raised her hand, letting him give her a high five. Even though she was affectionate, Jack wasn’t as much, especially after Haley. He only hugged a few people now - Jess, his dad, and surprisingly, you. 

It really showed how comfortable he was with you.

“What brings you to my tech cave?” She asked. You raised your brows at him, prompting him to do the talking. 

“Can you, please, download a few episodes of Zack and Cody for us?” His voice rang with its usual child calm and sweetness, fingers intertwined in front of him. 

Penelope's smile softened even more, “Sure thing, sweetie,” Her eyes turned towards you then, “Your tablet?”

“Yes, please.” You knew it was a work tablet, but no one had to know.

“Any requests?” She asked the little guy.

“You pick.”

“Okay-dokey. Should have it in about 10 minutes, my loves.”

“Thank you, Aunt Penelope.”

“Thanks Pen.” You gave her air kisses before you led Jack out and towards his father's office. 

His day had started rocky, hell, the whole night had gone that way. 

Jack had woken up from a nightmare - twice at that. After the second time, he’d asked Aaron to sleep in his bed, too scared and sad to stay in his room.

He’d snoozed his alarm, just once, and had a hard time waking his son up too. He’d had 20 minutes to get himself ready, but Jessica had called 10 minutes before she was supposed to arrive - apologizing because she’d been called on an emergency at work. 

Aaron had to rearrange his whole morning then, already aware he’d be late for work. He’d had to get Jack and his backpack ready and cook him breakfast. All of that, and be in the office before his 9:30 meeting with Strauss. 

Breakfast and preparing Jack for a day at the BAU, he’d done successfully. Arriving on time had been a little tricky, with barely 2 minutes to spare. 

But when he’d walked into the bullpen, Jack spotting you just seconds before he did, and he’d watched your smile grow, he’d known all would be okay. 

Watching you with Jack always brought a warm feeling within him, like he was watching something sacred. You were always patient and kind, always interested in listening to him talk, even though he was a quiet kid, who appreciated quality time more. 

You gave him that too, and a lot of it - you watched cartoons and shows with him. Colored and drew, baked cookies, and played with him whenever he wanted. Any time spent with Jack was about what he wanted, what he liked doing, and above all, making him comfortable. 

Even if it meant cleaning flour off your kitchen floor and whatever had gotten in the drawers too. 

He appreciated, even loved the bond you had with his son, every smile, every hug, and every minute you spend with him. He loved hearing about you from Jack - what you’d done together, what you’d told him, the stories, the jokes, the conversations. 

Hearing his son proclaim you as his favorite person in the BAU had made his heart soar. Taking into account all the time you spent with him, it wasn’t really a surprise. He bonded hard, but once he did, he never went back.

He was much like Aaron himself in that regard. His trust had to be earned, as did his friendship, and it required hard work. Jack was much the same. And you’d successfully earned both of theirs with your beautiful and caring personality. 

He exhaled a breath, checking his watch, step fast, and briefcase in hand. 

11:18.

His meeting with Strauss had run longer than he’d anticipated - over an hour and a half. Diplomacy, politics, budgets, and cuts, they’d run through countless things, half of that meeting already fully blacked out from his memory. 

He was tired - every meeting with Strauss left him drained. Worried,  about Jack and his state of mind after last night. All he wanted to do was get to his office and check up on his son. 

Walking into the bullpen for the second time that day, he quickly made his way towards his office, only to stop short at the window. The blinds were open, having forgotten to close them last night, so he had a clear and full view of his office.

You were sat on the couch close to the armrest, Jack cuddled against you, cheek squished against your collarbone, face almost buried in your neck. 

Your work tablet sat propped on the coffee table, and your arm wrapped around his small body, keeping him close. His eyes were almost closed, your thumb running soothingly on his back. 

He watched, mesmerized by the scene. He felt himself soften, all of him. His face, the furrow in his brow, and the tight set of his lips. His whole body, his heart, suddenly at peace. 

For months he'd observed the kindness you showed everyone - the families of victims, heartbroken by the injustice of life. Passersby, people you might never see again. Your team, especially, your work family. Jack, and even Aaron himself. 

And as he watched you with his son, the one person left in this world who truly loved him, no matter his rights or wrongs - he couldn't help but feel himself unravel. 

Every little thought he'd had about you, every feeling he might have somehow suppressed in order to protect himself and his child, they all attacked him, in seconds. 

Because the truth was, you earned his trust, his friendship, and somehow along the way, you'd won his heart as well.

Right at that moment, his heart pounded in need, in adoration, in pure, clear love. Love he hadn't allowed himself to feel since Haley. Love, he'd frankly hadn't felt in years, ever since he’d put his signature down on the dotted line. 

He wanted to get home to see this. He wanted to see you put Jack to bed, and kiss his forehead with a whispered ‘good night’.

He wanted to stroke your cheek tenderly, pull you into a kiss that made you melt, and stroke a fire within you like no one else could. 

He wanted to tell you he loved you - in the car, as he drove you to work. In the kitchen during breakfast and dinner. In his office, a few stolen moments as you worked. And under the sheets, while you made love. 

And even through the fear that gripped him in a vice, of rejection, separation, and even trust - he still wanted to love you, as if he was loving someone for the first time again. 

“Everything okay, Aaron?” David asked, passing on the way to his office. 

Aaron barely spared him a glance, nodding his head a little, “Yeah, it's okay.”

He pushed the door to his office open and walked in, greeted by his new favorite sight, and his two favorite people. 

Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

[staarri]

its you! ( in each minute, second… its always been you )

c. various haikyuu characters

t. fluff, gn!reader & male characters only. wc : ?

the first kiss was quick; almost as if it never happened at all. maybe you were shy—or maybe he was shy. either way, one of you will go home regretting the decision of pulling away too fast. unfortunately, that someone will be him. no matter what you do to try and change it—he will always regret not doing enough for the first date. maybe it’ll stay that way until he gathers enough courage to kiss you the second time. oh, what a dream! he thinks to himself.

🏐 — kageyama, yamaguchi, kenma

surprisingly on the bolder side. he took initiative in almost everything; inviting you to eat here and there, took you to places to take pictures and create fun memories. it felt more like hanging out with a friend with the sense of familiarity and trust you have with each other, even on your first date together. he didn’t try to do much when it came to physical affection (aside from hand holding, if you allowed him to.) but he did attempt to give a small kiss at your doorstep when you were home.

🏐 — hinata, sugawara, nishinoya, bokuto, kuroo, oikawa

the first time he met your parents, he was (well, he seemed) painfully, incredibly non-chalant about everything. he paid for the dinner and gave gifts (including a bouquet for them.) your parents approved of him shortly after, seeing how much he cared about this little meeting being perfect in many ways. he double checked the reservation and had another date as backup incase they weren’t available, he took care of the flowers and made sure to personally hand make the arrangement, and even wrapped the gifts in little boxes with bows on them. it went well, of course it did—but the moment the two of you went back into your shared home, he collapsed on the couch right on top of you, arms wrapped around your waist loosely as he takes a deep breath. as if relieved the moment was over, because little did you know, it was as nerve wracking to him as it was for you.

🏐 — iwaizumi, asahi, daichi, akaashi, tsukishima

[asapeveryday]

SWIM ★彡

Pairing: Nika Mühl x Girlfriend!Reader

Warnings: shower sex

Summary: you’ve never seen Nika this mad after a game, jaw clenched shut and eyebrows furrowed. It has an affect on you that’s shameful, and she makes sure to remind you.

A/n: requested by VARIOUSSS anons. Luv u guys

THE DOOR SHUTS behind you loudly, and you can’t help but jump at the force of it. Nika almost pushes past you and heads straight for the kitchen, downing a glass of water and roughly wiping her mouth afterwards. She’s staring into nothing, mind obviously racing after a disastrous game.

You know better than to say anything to her, when she doesn’t preform how she hoped it’s best to keep a distance. Nika is usually good tempered and you’ve always loved that about her; her practicality, her levelheaded-ness. It came in handy when you were needy and exasperated, the way she’d simply purr your name and smile was enough to calm you down…even if her fingers were inside of you.

Her pent up anger was not unheard of, but still rather alien. What freaked you out more was how much of a struggle it was proving to be to keep quiet and distant.

Nika is bulldozing throughout your apartment now, throwing her jacket on the couch and tossing her shoes by the door before roughly yanking out her ponytail in a way that you know must hurt her.

“Can you stop fucking looking at me?” She snaps, her eyes narrowing at you and finally acknowledging your presence.

“Sorry.” You swallow, though you can’t help but admire her. It’s impossible to avoid the twitch in your pussy at the ferocity of her stare, her toned body slumping on the couch, or the frustrated lilt in her voice.

“Did you have fun?” She asks. “Watching me play like a loser today. Did you enjoy it?” She says now, dangerously calm compared to her earlier tone.

Nervously, you say “Of course I didn’t.” To which she raises an eyebrow.

“So it must’ve been a waste of time watching your girlfriend play like shit, huh.” Nika scoffs. “Were you embarrassed?”

“No!” You rush out, approaching her carefully. “I’m never gonna be embarrassed, Niks. It was one bad game, shit happens.”

She doesn’t have to say anything back, you already know the look on her face by heart. It’s one anyone who’s involved with an athlete knows, the look that says ‘you couldn’t possibly understand’. That expression on her face is one that you dread.

“Tell me what you want me to do Nika. How do I support you through things like this?” You sigh.

“You can support me by backing off.” She smiles, not with her usual kindness but with some sort of buried anger. “N’ stop gawking at me like a lost puppy. It’s fucking annoying.”

You cross your arms at this. You love Nika, but her anger makes her unreasonable.

“You sure you want me to back off? You’re the one who asked to come to my apartment.”

She stares at you for a moment that feels too long, the weight of her gaze growing heavier and harder to hold by the moment. You can’t read her expression anymore and it’s both enticing and nerve wracking.

“Since you wanna be smart,” she says, getting up from the couch and sauntering up to you. “I can think of something else you can do for me.”

Her tone is different now. Demanding in a way that excites you. You can’t help but squeeze your thighs together. “Anything you want.” You mumble. “I’ll do it.”

Nika’s eyes sparkle at this, clearly satisfied with your answer. “Strip.”

You’re frozen at her order. She’s seen you naked before, but not under pressure like this. She notices your hesitation and tilts her head. “You said anything, right?”

You nod slightly, slowly pulling off the top you’d worn to her game as well as your shorts before timidly un clipping your bra, leaving your breasts bare and nipples hardening from the new cold of your apartment. You try your best to hold her eye as you slip your panties down your legs and step out of them and towards her.

The feeling of standing there stark naked as your girlfriend soaks in the sight of you in silence is more vulnerable than anything you’ve felt in a long time. You can’t help but bring your hands to your breasts in attempts to cover something.

When Nika’s lips meet yours it’s languid and calculated, her hands ripping your own from your chest as she clashes teeth with you. Letting go of your wrists, she says. “Go turn on the shower.” And when you look at her inquisitively she shoots you a smirk. “I’ll be there soon.”

-

You let the water warm until steam forms to coat the glass doors of the shower, your hair now soaked through and your skin hot. The sound of the bathroom door opening and closing sends a shiver down your spine, and when the glass opens and closes you know Nika has kept her word.

Nothing happens at first, she stands under the water with you, wetting her hair and skin whilst closing her eyes beneath the shower head. You know she can feel you staring, but there’s no reason you shouldn’t with her bare body on display. Her muscles glistening and wet, her belly piercing gleaming through the steam. When your eyes part from her body, they meet her own.

When your lips clash again it’s sensual and charges with a force you can feel deep in your core. Her hands are quickly on either sides of your head when your back hits the cold tile of the bathroom wall, and you let yourself grasp at her tan flesh while she explores your mouth.

“What do you want me to do, Niks.” You huff out between kisses.

“Be quiet.” She says in an instant. “N’ let me fuck you.”

You nod fervently at her request, allowing her to suckle your neck and chest until you’re painted pink and purple. You know she loves to mark you, to have a remnant of her on your body is like a dream come true for the both of you.

As her mouth latches onto your tit, her fingers begin to tease at your pussy. She just barely rubs your clit, smiling at your whines and pleads.

“You don’t even deserve this.” She sighs. “You don’t care if I win or lose, you jus know you’re getting fucked anyways.”

She’s still teasing you, applying pressure and then taking it away at every breath you take. Your hips are beginning to buck at the stimulation or lack of thereof.

“Please, baby.” You beg, throwing your head back. “Please just touch me.”

Nika clicks her tongue before slipping two fingers inside of you. “Keep looking at me or else I’ll get out of the shower.” She grunts.

You hurriedly shift your gaze to her, and the sight is mesmerizing, her tongue swirling around your nipple while her fingers pump in and out of you slowly. Her hair is wet and spread out down her back and over her breasts, her cheeks are pink from the hot water.

Your legs begin to shake when she quickens her pace, watching her digits disappear and reappear into your heat as she innocently smiles. The sound of your slick is just barely covered by the loud noise of the running water that drenches both of you. You reach a hand out to the glass that encloses the shower, leaving a handprint. Nika notices this and immediately has an idea.

In an instant you’re shoved against the glass, and you gasp at the sudden contact all while her fingers are still inside you. “Nika!” You exclaim. “Careful, the glass might-”

“Shut up,” she murmurs, head now resting on your shoulder. She’s pressed flush against you as she stretches you out. “You won’t break anything.”

You trust in her words and allow yourself to loosen up again. The sight from the other side must be immaculate, your breasts, face and hands pressed against the steam covered glass. If your roommate was to need to use the washroom for anything, she’d surely never be able to look you in the face again.

Nika rubs the condensation from a spot in the glass so you can see outside, directly into the mirror that faces you. The scene is so lewd you can feel your orgasm building.

“Look at you.” Nika coos. Her own eyes are also trained on the mirror, on your face screwed up in pleasure, on your pussy sucking her in. “How slutty is this?”

“Nika.” You cry, moaning a mess of words as your stomach gets tenser by the minute. “I’m gonna cum.”

“Do it.” She orders, and as if clockwork you climax all over her fingers. She presses a harsh kiss to your cheek and releases you from the pressure against the glass shower wall.

You hug her underneath the stream of the shower and she laughs. “Are you feeling better?” You mumble into her neck, and she nods. “Much better.”

“Good.” You smile. “Now clean me up and take me out of here.”

[yeagerfate]

seeing you without makeup for the first time

characters: miguel o’hara, miles morales (earth-1610), pavitr prabhakar, hobie brown, gwen stacy

warnings: none!

notes: thanks so much to @rulaineyu for letting me use this idea! check her blog out if you’re a genshin fan, her works are really well-written and entertaining! requests are open! thanks so much for all the love on my previous posts, it means so much to me!

To be honest, Miguel doesn’t even notice. You’d been as little fatigued, having been extremely overworked lately, and just decided not to. When you visited Miguel’s office, you almost wanted him to compliment you, though you knew that wasn’t what your Miguel was like. Something in his mind was telling him something was out of the ordinary, but he just ignored it. Finally, he realizes what’s actually different when he overhears you talking about it with Hobie, (he says he likes the inconsistency), and he feels so bad for not seeing it before.

The next time he sees you, he tells you that he thinks you look pretty. He doesn’t mention the make-up thing at all because he doesn’t want you to think he’s complimenting you just to please you. When your cheeks turn a little red, and you stutter when saying thank you, Miguel smiles to himself proudly.

It doesn’t take Hobie long to notice. Sometimes, he wears make-up to his concerts, so he knows the basics. It makes him happy to see your natural face for the first time. He thinks you’re beautiful, with or without make-up, and he tells you so. “Thank you,” You said. “I think you look handsome, too, with or without make-up.” He’s a bit more clingy, which surprises you, but he just likes to see you be a bit more vulnerable than usual. Hobie also enjoys talking with you about make-up, and what you like to use. He’s not new to it, but it’s always nice to get some tips so he can look perfect!

Miles can tell you’re a bit nervous about his reaction to something, but he doesn’t know what it is. He’s aware that you’re not wearing make-up, but he doesn’t think much of it. Miles is a bit naive when it comes to beauty standards and the makeup world, so he doesn’t really know how nerve-wracking it can be to not put on anything for the first time. As always, though, he tells you that he thinks you look lovely, which is always nice to hear. On a whim, he decides to ask you about it. “Are you okay? Is there something wrong? You look a little anxious.” You grin sheepishly and tell him you were just nervous about his reaction to you not wearing make-up for the first time because of the asshole boyfriend you had before him. Good luck! Miles will not be leaving you alone for the next week at minimum :)

Even though he doesn’t wear it, Pavitr loves makeup, so he definitely notices. As always, he gushes about how beautiful he thinks you are. He holds your face in his hands and studies the natural shade of your lips, your natural eyelashes… he thinks you’re a beauty. Like Hobie and Miles, I think he’d also be a bit more clingy and affectionate. The next time Pavitr comes back to headquarters, he raves about you to Miles and Hobie, who are both happy for him and a little uncomfortable. Oh well. They’ll just have to hear about it until he goes back home!

Gwen has done your makeup multiple times, for fun and for parties, so she knows. She’s already stopped wearing makeup around you occasionally, and you were extremely supportive, so she wants to be the same for you. However, Gwen is always a bit shy when it comes to vocalizing how she feels, so she’ll feel a bit anxious. She doesn’t want you to think you look ugly without makeup, but it’s a bit nerve-wracking for her to say what she wants so say. Eventually, she gains the courage to do so, and the way your eyes brighten when she does tell you how pretty she thinks you are is something priceless.

[kenjioharashotspot]

🌃 | the 2 a.m touch . . .

pairing: kenji sato x fem!reader

words: 5202

synopsis: it was supposed to be a fun night out on the town with your best friend Akami, until you bumped into your ex-husband, Kenji Sato. That night would turn out to be an unforgettable experience, for both of you.

author's note: this fic is intended for mature audiences, as it contains descriptions of sexual nature.

  These past months have been rough. An empty house and an abrupt divorce all at once. You always thought what Kenji and you had was forever but...you were wrong!

There was no cheating, nothing like that, just a chaotic schedule, which led to a painful distance between you two. You loved Kenji, Emi and Professor Sato so much and couldn't fathom the idea of coming back to a quiet house every time you arrived from work, it was lonely and somewhat depressing.

  If it weren't for your friend Akami's wonderful help, you would be melting into the couch by now, watching trashy reality TV shows, romantic comedies and eating all kinds of unhealthy foods. Akami knew you were better than that and, after much begging, convinced you to leave the house for the night.

  You girls agreed she would come pick you up at 11 p.m, you thought it was late, as you had become accustomed to a more "homebody" and monotonous routine, now that you were living all by yourself. However, when considered an expert when it came to Japan's night life, Akami assured you that patrons would only start showing up at midnight. You could definitely feel her excitement, as her onyx colored eyes sparkled, probably as she remembered some of her adventures in one of the infamous nightclubs.

  As 11 p.m rolls around, the sound of your unused louboutin so kate pumps "click-clacking" became the only sound echoing throughout the long and well decorated corridor. At the far end, a large mirror allows you to see how your outfit looks like for the night. The reflection shown on the large mirror positioned in the middle of the corridor, shows you wearing a black open back mini dress, hugging your curves in all the right places, showing off your back as the fabric of the dress drips down beautifully on your body. Your black tights accentuate the muscles on your legs, giving you a lengthening effect all around.

  You take a deep breath as you're gathering up your thoughts, for some odd reason, you feel nervous about going out after so long! It feels nerve-wracking to face the world, after your whole world left. The dim lights around the house create a nostalgic feeling, making you thrift away...not for long, as Akami arrives, ringing on the bell!

Walking towards the door, you feel the nervousness, once wanting to possess your body, slowly leaving, as Akami covers her mouth looking you up and down.

  "You look so freaking good [name]!!!" She gasps, admiring every inch of your body. As long as she can remember, Akami never saw you so dressed up.

  "Thank...thank you so much dear! You look amazing as well" You stutter, feeling sort of embarrassed. Akami always knew how to calm you down, whether was shoving strawberry daiquiris down your throat or hyping you up. You couldn't have asked for a better best friend.

  "Oh this little number? It's just an old thing I had in my closet!" She twirled, making you almost die laughing. At this point, your anxiety was long gone, thanks to her unique sense of humor.

  "Well, we don't want that little number to go to waste! Let's get going?" You grabbed your small clutch, double-checking if all your essentials were inside: wallet, house keys, lipstick and your phone.

  Before heading out, you and Akami gave one last glance in the mirror, taking some pics to remember the moment in a near future. Both of you smiled, satisfied with how hot you girls looked. As you open the front door, a familiar night breeze greats you. Akami follows the lead to her fuchsia car, opening it right away and signing for you to enter. Your night was just getting started...

You and Akami, walking through the busy streets of Shibuya, both of you filled with excitement and anticipation for your night out. Different music playing every direction you turn to, just loud enough to sing along without being heard. The air is warm, because of the amount of people that start gathering around the both of you, rushing into the nightclubs. The breeze, flowing through pleasantly, makes your hair look a bit tousled.

  You notice Akami is scrolling through her phone, checking out the latest updates and making sure you girls have the details of the best venues.

  "I heard this new place has the best rooftop view in the city." She says, gazing up at this colorful building. This nightclub was illuminated with vibrant neon lights that danced and pulsated in sync with the beat of the music emanating from within.

  Both of you share an excited glance, your faces glowing with anticipation and the reflected colors from the lights. Above you, the starry sky almost seems to be part of the nightclub, adding a touch of magic.

  "Wow! We need to go there Akami, let's go!" Your excitement made your friend smile, it was like seeing a little girl inside a plush store after being told she can get whatever she wants! It was like something clicked for you and that was noticeable as Akami felt her arm being intertwined with yours.

  You girls get close to the building and the intensity of the music, as well as the volume, goes up. At this point, it's getting difficult for you to listen to anything Akami tells you. The bass from the music makes the walls shake, creating a palpable energy in the air. The line is long, but that doesn't seem to discourage your spirits.

You girls finally step inside, the vibrant lights, pulsating beats, and packed dance floor greet you. You squeeze each other's hands, your eyes wide with expectation, ready to dive into an unforgettable night of dancing and fun.

  The bar area was full of people, you could see some girls flirting with guys to get them to pay for their drinks. All of them dressed up to the nines, their dresses reflecting the club's neon lights, making them the center of attention. Bartenders dancing at the same time as they're pouring the requested drinks in the respective glasses, hyping each other up while some of them perform tricks with bottles and cocktail shakers.

  After dancing for a while, you two headed to the bar, ordering your favorite drinks. Akami was thirsty for a classic negroni, while you chose a daiquiri. She lead the way to a cozy spot near the dance floor where you could see the DJ and feel the energy of the crowd.

The night was off to a perfect start. The vibe was right, people were dancing and you two were gossiping about college classmates. The world was yours, oblivious to the time passing by.

Just as you were about to order another round of drinks for the both of you, Akami noticed security guard in front of the elevator leading to the highest point of the building. You girls couldn't wait to see the city from such an iconic standpoint. As you get close to the elevator door, the security guard gets in front of both of you, blocking the passage.

  "The usage of this elevator is destined to VIP patrons only." He crosses his arms, looking twice as buff. Akami looks at the guard up and up, gathering some information about him, as a way to bribe your way into the elevator.

"Oh! Come on! I can see you're a pretty reasonable man, two more women up there won't make a difference!" Her arm slides from his shoulder down to his bicep, squeezing it a little bit. He frowns, pushing his glasses up with the help of his index finger.

  "Doll, you can't seduce your way up there. I told you how it is, now go!" The sad expression from both Akami and you seemed to soften up the security guard, who removed the rope stationed in front of the elevator. A glimpse of hope plastered of both of your faces.

"Go on...it's their fault they hired a softie for a security guard either way." Akami doesn't resist to glue her mouth to his cheek, holding your hand right away, guiding you towards the elevator. Excitement fills both your bodies and as you reach the top, you notice a difference type of music, much more refined...matching of the type of clients the highest point of the building hosts.

  As the elevator door opens, the ambience feels much more professional and lighter. In the distance, you and Akami, see a group of women opening bottles of champagne, sitting on the laps of seemingly powerful men. You feel yourself freeze, you hand becoming automatically frozen.

  "[name]?? What happened? Are you feeling ok?" Akami's worried tone wakes you up from whatever is happening, your gaze looking at a distance still caughts her attention. She follows the direction you're looking at, freezing as well. The sight completely shocked both of you, seeing your ex-husband, Kenji Sato, entertaining advances from women, letting them sit on his lap...it was something you thought you'd never see.

  You could feel the tears welling up in your eyes, but you blinked them away, unwilling to let your emotions get the best of you in such a public setting. You forced a smile, but it didn't reach your eyes, as they didn't match with the forced smile leaving your lips.

  "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just...seeing him like that. Looks like he moved on really quick." The shock Akami was feeling became rage, almost disgust. She had never seen Kenji have such a cocky and "player" attitude, he was always a gentleman. That was shocking to see, for both of you girls.

  "We can leave, if you want!" You look at Akami, pouting your lips. You were feeling conflicted as one part of you was screaming for you to get out of there and the other one was trying to calm down and see some sort of positive side.

  Checking your phone and saw that it was 1:30 a.m. The bright screen contrasted with the dim, flashing lights of the nightclub, making you squint for a moment. It was time to call it a night. As much as you were enjoying your night out, the "homebody" in you was begging to come out, and after what you saw...it was definitely time to get going.

  "I can call an Uber, you can stay if you want Akami, I don't want to ruin your night." She lifts an eyebrow, showing to you how ridiculous that idea was. No way she was going to let you get home all by yourself.

  "Of course not!! I'll get you home, let's go." You smile, reminding yourself how lucky you were by having such an amazing friend. As you walked into the elevator, a shout came from behind, too late for you to stop and see. But that voice, hiw could you not be able to recognize that voice...

"[NAME]...WAIT!" The elevator doors close. Akami looks at you, as if she's asking you mentally if you want to wait up for him. You deny, giving her the confirmation she needs to get you out that nightclub. Both of you, walking up to her fuchsia car, look back at the night and despite what happened, you smile at each other...remembering how much you danced and drinked.

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" She asks, reassuring her support towards you.

  "Thank you so much, but my couch is calling me...reality shows look promising right now." Your soft giggle makes Akemi giggle as well. You girls hug, say your goodbyes, sharing supportive words between each other.

  You entered your dimly lit house, the weight of the night pressing down on your shoulders. Your high heels clicked softly on the light wooden floor as you put your clutch on top of the kitchen counter. You glanced in the mirror in the middle of the corridor, your makeup slightly smudged and your eyes showing off a mix of fatigue, lingering frustration and sadness.

  Seeing Kenji with those girls at the club, so carefree, laughing and flirting as if your past together never existed. You somewhat managed to keep your composure in front of Akami, masking your emotions with a forced smile, but now, alone in your house, the facade crumbled.

  You melted into the couch, both your thoughts and heart racing. The sight of Kenji with all those girls had stirred a lot of emotions—anger, hurt, a touch of jealousy—you couldn't deny you still loved him.

  Needing a distraction, you went over to Netflix, the familiar chaos of a trashy reality show filling the room. Heading to the kitchen, you grab a bag of chips and some candy, returning to couch, and making yourself comfortable. The bright, artificial lights and over-the-top drama provided the perfect escape. You crunched away as the contestants bickered and had some arguments.

  A knock on the door scared you. Looking at the clock, you noted it was well past 2 a.m. You thought it could be Akami, dropping by unannounced, for a surprise sleepover. Without a second thought, you got up and swung the door open.

  But instead of your friend's familiar face, there stood your ex-husband, Kenji Sato. His presence was a total surprise for you, he was the last person you thought would show up, especially at that time of the night. You blinked in surprise, the shock momentarily stealing your ability to formulate a sentence. His expression was a mix of regret and somewhat unreadable, a look you hadn’t seen in a long time.

  "Ken...Kenji? What are you doing here?" Your stuttered speech showed how surprised you were. Not being able to form a sentence, your mind was empty, almost frozen.

  "You need to hear what I have to say! Please." His apologetic voice felt like a million needles stabbing into your body. For some reason, you could tell he was regretting what he did.

  "Well...Come in, don't stand there in the cold." Your voice sounded inviting, you moved your body, giving Kenji a way for him to enter the house. Your reaction made him feel immediately much better. By accepting to hear what he had to say, it meant acceptance and understanding, your love languages.

  As you close the door in front of you, Kenji can't help to admire your body and how beautiful you looked wearing that dress and those heels. As you turned around, you encounter a Kenji Sato, some inches of distance from you, involuntarily pinning you against the front door.

  "Kenji? Are you okay?" Your heart was racing, that was noticeable by the shaking waves of your voice. The proximity of Kenji's body, his cologne still familiar to your nose, filled you with a rush of conflicting emotions.

  "I'm sorry for what I did, I miss you so much." His scent was filling up your nose, making you crazy. As the dim light hit his eyes, you could see the desire filling them up.

  Your breath quickened, a mixture of nerves and flickering in your eyes. You clench your fists at your sides, trying to muster the strength to have an attitude.

  "What do you want?" You sound demanding,  your voice steady despite the turmoil inside your body.

  "Do you honestly think I enjoy hurting you? Hurting you, hurts me as well." You pause, processing the weight of Kenji's words. You feel your expression shift from demand to vulnerability, revealing a mix of confusion and sorrow. You feel sincerity in his words.

  Your hands, almost like a spell, are guided to his face, embracing it in between yours and forcing eye contact. Your teary eyes meet his teary eyes, so many emotions travel unannounced, rushing through each other's bodies. You feel unable to say anything, decide it's best to answer with something different than a sentence.

You gently cradle Kenji's face in between your hands, fingertips softly brushing his cheeks. Your eyes meet, a moment of quiet connection before you lean in. Your lips meet his softly, the kiss tender and lingering. It's a sweet, intimate moment, filled with warmth as both of you savor the softness of each other's lips, your thumbs gently stroking Kenji's skin. The world fades away for the both of you.

  "I missed you so much...you have no idea how much" Kenji mutters between the kiss, smiling and placing his hands on top of yours, stroking gentle circles on top of your hands.

  "You make me feel all kinds of ways, I can't get enough of you" As you say this, he picks you up, holding onto your butt, making you blush.

  "Can't stop thinking about you, kissing you, touching you...I need it...I need it desperately." Your heavy breathing, fast heartbeat and flushed cheeks show Kenji how are you're feeling about the situation. Your hands, wrapped up his neck make him feel deeper in love and your legs, wrapped around his waist, making any space between you, as small as possible.

  "I want you...and only you, make me moan your name for the night Kenji...please!" Your request sounded needy, almost desperate. Kenji smiles, walking through the corridor, holding you carefully and leaving a trail of kisses from your cheeks down to your neck.

  Reaching the bedroom, Kenji gently nudges the door open with his foot, the hinges giving a soft creak. The room is warmly lit, the glow from a bedside lamp. Kenji steps inside, the plush carpet muffling the footsteps. Carefully, he lays you down on the neatly made bed, smoothing a stray hair from your face. The room is peaceful, with a light breeze drifting in through an open window, rustling the curtains. He pauses for a moment, looking down at you with a caring expression. He places each one of his hands on each side of your shoulders as you bring him closer by pulling on his gold chain with your index finger. The warm glow from your bedside lamp reflects on your eyes, revealing some gold flakes in your gaze.

  "You look so mesmerizing underneath me, it's a sight from heaven."

  Kenji sees your cheeks become a dusted shade of red as he compliments the position you're in. He went crazy imagining everything you guys used to do when you were married, despite the distance throughout the years, he always felt immensely attracted to you and your character.

  "Can I please undress you? I want to see you in your most natural state" You nod positively at the question, giving your full consent to Kenji.

  With a gentle and attentive touch, Kenji begins to remove your dress, his movements, careful and deliberate. He unclasps the fastenings, sliding the fabric down your shoulders. The dress glides smoothly down, pooling softly on top of the carpet. He takes care not to disturb your serene expression, his actions filled with a tender intention. The room remains quiet, the only sound being the faint rustle of fabric and the steady rhythm of both of your breathing. Your perky nipples, previously stimulated by the soft fabric of the black dress you had worn during the night, caught Kenji's attention making him smile as he notices how sensitive your body is when stimulated.

  "I will show you how much I praise your body and your mind." Kenji whispers, voice full of desire, gluing his lips to your neck, making sure the entire surface is given the deserved attention. You intertwine your fingers through his jet black hair, feeling a heatwave hit you between your legs.

  "You...you make...my love grow deeper each minute." Your whimpers come out soft and weak, mentally you're counting the kisses Kenji is distributing throughout your neck and breasts. You feel your hole pulsating with intense heat, all the care and attention from Kenji was driving you crazy.

  "Let those cute moans flow from that pretty mouth of yours, sweetheart." He circles around your nipples, one at a time, pushing at each of them softly, what made you squirm underneath him. He shivered at the sight of you moaning his name, it had been so long he didn't hear those amazing sounds come out your mouth.

  "I...I need you...Oh my God..." You face other direction, pressing your lips together and biting your bottom one right away. Your nipples, now more sensitive than ever, seem to be pulsating with each interaction Kenji has with them.

  The warmth of the bedroom paired with the increasing warmth of your body was driving you wild, Kenji knew how sensitive you were to all the stimulation and foreplay. He loved to see you squirm and purr in pleasure as you begged to have him inside you.

  "You feel good, don't you? Don't worry! You will have me, soon...be patient, doll." Kenji's hand travels from your tummy to the silky fabric covering your vulva, pushing your panties aside you gasp feeling his fingers in contact with your pulsating clitoris. Your first instinct is to hold Kenji's wrist, guided by desire. You're starting to feel drunk by all the arousal, it's undeniable.

"Wow...look how ready you are for me...you're such a naughty little girl, aren't you!" His voice melts in your ears like honey, Kenji's deep husky voice makes you tremble, it's inevitable to feel that horny.

  "I...I want you to...to pour all your love...on me..." Your request made Kenji smile from ear to ear, it was just what he needed, better than a "yes" when asking for consent. Having the woman of his life, practically begging him to have her was too much for Kenji. He needed you, and he needed you now.

  "I'm such a sucker for you, my love." Kenji gets up, positioned in between your legs, as you're waiting for Kenji to start filling your body with immense pleasure.

  As Kenji unbelts his jeans, you notice a huge volume on his pants, making it noticeable he was just as ready as you. You still remembered how his cock looked like and how big it was, but after so much time without having sex, you were scared it would hurt, like a first time would.

The pants, now down to his knees, were quickly removed, being tossed to a forgotten corner of the bedroom. Kenji's bulge left you frightened and speechless, you could swear you saw his cock pulsate underneath his boxers! When he removed his boxers, your face could not demonstrate more shock than it did! Kenji's deep laugh woke you up to reality.

  "We'll take it slow, baby girl! I don't want to hurt you." You nodded, looking at Kenji's face. You sat on the bed and as he came closer, you'd change your sight between Kenji and his member, gulping in utter disbelief.

  Kenji stopped in front of you, his dick inches away from your face. He was enjoying seeing your surprised expression, smiling at every gulp you'd do. Kenji puts his fingers on your chin, making you lift your head to face him, you looked so cute and small when looking up to meet his eyes.

As a reflex, you opened your mouth putting your tongue out, while your hands started caressing the entire extension of his erect penis. Kenji grunts, biting his lip and closing his eyes, feeling your soft hands touch his dick. You can't help but to lick the tip, covered in precum because of the sensual foreplay that happened before. You're determined to put his cock in your mouth, and slowly, as you're holding onto his thighs for some stability, you start pushing your mouth against his veiny dick, feeling your eyes get teary eyed as you feel like his member is about to rip your mouth from ear to ear.

  "Fu...fuck..look at my pretty girl...taking me so well...Oh God..." As you get the hang of it, you're feeling much more confident about what you're doing. Kenji puts your hair into a ponytail, giving him some way to control you if he desires to.

  "Let me look at you while I'm taking over that pretty mouth of yours...Mhmm...you're...so good..." His praises only motivate you to keep going, you wouldn't stop until he came in your mouth or whenever he wanted. As you're sucking him off, you can't resist to start masturbating yourself, all that heat is going to be the death of you. It's not until he hears you moan while sucking him off that he realizes that you're pleasuring yourself, and that makes him go feral.

  Kenji faces the ceiling, his lips parted slightly show you he's going to climax at any point, announced or unannounced. He starts moving his hips against you, making you feel his cock go deeper in your throat, forcing you to gag a few times.

  "Don't stop. Oh...Oh God...Whatever you do, please I beg you, don't stop." Kenji requested and you obeyed, wishing for his orgasm to fill your mouth.

His climax was intense, without warning. It filled your mouth so much your cheeks looked like the ones of a chipmunk when it's collecting nuts...well...you could consider yourself a chipmunk collecting all of Kenji's nuts.

  "Swallow, baby! Good girl, you look so hot with my cum in your mouth." You did as being told, smiling satisfied right after.

In a rapid move, Kenji makes you stand up while still holding your hair in a ponytail, giving you a passionate kiss. You were loving every second of this, the kiss was passionate but needy, oh so needy, making you grasp for hair a few times.

  When you noticed, both of you were on the bed, Kenji was on top getting an assertive position between your legs. The warmth coming out from your cunt felt almost felt palpable, it was touch deprived and needed attention immediately.

  "Would you look at that...this pussy of yours wants some attention." As Kenji is positioned in between your legs, he starts rubbing his cock on your slit, rubbing the tip on your clit a few times, making your purr.

  "Please...I beg of you...Kenji please..." You say in between cries and moans, making him smirk as he sees the affect he has on you.

  "Shhh...you're so impatient" He says, laying a gentle kiss on your lips — "It'll only hurt for a minute...I promise, baby" — As he pushes his cock, inch by inch inside you, you can't help to strongly close your eyes and let out a loud scream, a surprised one. You felt overwhelmed as your eyes were getting filled with involuntary tears. Kenji's first instinct when seeing you, was to hold hands, intertwining your fingers to show you he was there for you.

  "Shh...it's almost in...bear with it a little longer...so proud of you, love" He said, in between caring kisses, Kenji could see you were struggling a little bit taking his cock but you were doing so well, he was so proud of his pretty girl.

As his manhood was all inside, and his delicate movements, all the pain you felt would eventually turn into pleasure.

  "Jiji...You...feel so good...inside me." With the help of your hips, moving in circles, and Kenji's soft hip thrusts, you and Kenji were in perfect  unison. Your moans, mixed with his created the most beautiful melody, a melody the two of you would never forget.

  "You're doing so good, doll face...look at you...taking me so well..." While one of Kenji's hands remains holding your hand, he decides to hold your face with his other hand, sliding his thumb inside your mouth. The vibrations of your moans are now kept for his thumb to feel. Your hair, all messed up and your teary eyes, now dried, are a sight he would no longer live without.

  "I've never seen someone this breathtakingly beautiful before...I love the sounds leaving your mouth..." Kenji was going into a frenzy, you opened your mouth sticking your tongue out as his thumb remained on top of your tongue. The eye contact between you two was unbelievable, almost animalistic. You were concentrated on Kenji until something else make you lose focus. He had hit your g-spot, making you salivate and let out and uncontrollable loud stutter.

  "OH my God, do that again..please Jiji..please do that again" You sounded desperate, like a cat in heat. As he tried to find out what your request was, he continued moving, hitting your g-spot three times in a row, in between strokes, making you arch your back and firmly hold his hand.

  "Mhmm...oh..oh my God...that feels...so good." You roll your eyes, biting your lip as hard as you can. Whatever Kenji was doing, he was doing it right, and best of all, he was seeing as you looked at him, pupils dilating...your eyes were almost turning you into a predator, the way they were full of an intense gazing. Kenji was mesmerized.

  "You like this, hm...?" You nod, at this point your ears are buzzing and you can swear your heart is beating as fast as some F1 race cars. As Kenji is hitting your sensitive point, you feel your pussy tighten around his cock, making him lower his voice and smirk.

"I'm gonna...I'm..gonna come...please, don't stop, Jiji..please." You pull him closer by his chain, kissing him passionately. Your nails, digging on his back make Kenji cuss in the middle of the kiss.

  "Come for me...be a good girl and come for me, my love." Your hip thrusting against Kenji only makes him feel his climax arriving as well — "Fuck...I'm gonna come as well baby..." — he muttered, out of breath, as you increased the hip thrusting movements, desperate to come.

  "Let's come together, Kenji." You held his hand, kissing it, before intertwining your fingers. Your pussy for hungry for Kenji's manhood and his cock was hungry for your cunt. You guys weren't going to be able to hold it for much longer.

  "Inside or outside, doll?" He was almost reaching his orgasm, he needed your consent before he did something you weren't comfortable with.

  "Pleeease...come inside me Jiji..please.." Your broken voice was low, had a sexier tone to it.

  In a moment of shared intimacy and desire, you and Kenji end up sharing an profound connection as both of your bodies synchronize in rhythm and pleasure. As you guys approach the climax, your breathing becomes more rapid and irregular, and Kenji's muscles tense in anticipation. The sensation builds, waves of uncontrollably strong pleasure radiating through each other's bodies, culminating in a peak of intense, mutual release.

Kenji's release mixed with yours, leaves your womanhood extremely satisfied.

  "You are perfect, pretty girl. I love you." His warm embrace was everything you needed to fall soundly and peacefully asleep on his arms, mumbling how much you loved him back and how amazing it was...truly an unforgettable experience for both of you.

[puckinghischier]

Nervous

Jack Hughes x fem!reader, smitten!Jack

summary: request for jack and reader on their wedding day

notes: this is my first time writing anything for jack and i literally had so much fun with it. i hope you guys like it 😌

[2.6k]

~

Jack had never been this nervous before. Not during games, not on his draft day, not on the night of his rookie debut, and not in any circumstance that he can remember. Ever. He’s not usually the type to dwell on feelings of nerves, trusting his skill and his ability to focus on the task at hand to get the job done.

Today, though, is the most nerve-wracking day of his life. It’s his wedding day, for crying out loud. The day he gets to marry the girl that has been there for every major event of his life. The girl that has never missed a Devils home game. The girl that he’s pretty sure his family loves more than him. The girl that has stuck by him through every hardship and crazy hockey season so far. His girl. The girl he gets to make his wife.

Hell, he wasn’t even this nervous when he asked you to marry him. He recalls the day as if it happened mere hours ago, not a year and a half earlier.

“Jack, where are we going? I thought you said you had an event with the team tonight? You’re going to be late,” you ask, noticing you’re driving further and further away from the city.

You had been doing laundry, trying to get ahead on some chores you had been neglecting, when Jack had come into the living room and told you to put your shoes on, he wanted to take you somewhere. You had asked him where, and if you needed to change, but he simply shook his head no and told you it was a surprise. This wasn’t anything out of the ordinary for Jack. You just assumed he found a new ice cream place he thought you would love, or some quaint little coffee shop he knew you’d like.

You didn’t think anything of it until you found yourself watching the city disappear into the distance almost forty-five minutes later, no destination in sight.

“We’re almost there, darling. Don’t worry that pretty little head of yours,” is all he said, taking his eyes off the road for only a moment to flash one of his soft smiles in your direction before continuing to drive.

You sit in the comfortable silence, a slow country ballad playing softly on the radio. Jack’s hand resting on your thigh adding a much-needed warmth to your body, not having grabbed a jacket before he dragged you out of your shared apartment. You watch the road around you become surrounded by trees, admiring the greenery that seems so hard to come by in the city.

Before you realize it, too lost in your own thoughts, Jack is turning off of the paved road you were traveling onto a dirt road, clouds of dust billowing behind the car. You lean forward a bit, trying to take in the scenery to find any sort of clue as to where you were. You’re just about to ask where he’s taking you, yet again, when you see the most beautiful scene appear through the windshield.

At the end of the road stood a large red barn, aged in all the right ways. The red was slightly faded, showcasing the years of sun damage and there were pieces of the shingled roof missing, lost in the wind who knows how long ago. Off to the left of the barn was a large area surrounded by a wooden fence, a few horses grazing on the bright green grass. The sun was just beginning to set, causing one side of the barn to be coated in golden sunlight, the other side blanketed in a shadow. As Jack turned the car to enter the field where the barn sat, you noticed the obscene number of lights strung high into the trees covered by the shadow of the barn, giving the effect that little drops of sunlight were dripping from the limbs.

“Jack…what- where are we?” You ask him, disbelief lacing your tone.

“Just a little place I stumbled across with Luke one day. We were out for a drive, just wanting out of the city for a few hours. Found this place and instantly thought of you. Knew I had to bring you here,” he reveals, parking the car and turning off the engine.

Jack opens his door to get out of the car and quickly moves to open yours, taking your hand while leading the two of you over to the forest of lights. You’re so busy looking up at the sight in the trees that you miss the large, wooden arch set up in the middle of the two biggest trees in the mini forest. There were a few hay-bales on each side of the arch, large bouquets of white daisies placed all over the bales, with some even bunched around the top corners of the square arch.

Once you take in the scene in front of you, you turn your head to look at Jack, finding his eyes already on you.

“Jack, you have about three seconds to tell me what’s going on here,” you calmly tell him, even though your stomach felt like it was doing summersaults.

“I told you, I wanted to show this place to you. Thought you’d like it.” His lips curled into an amused smile once he noticed the glare on your face, knowing you were calling his bluff.

“I wanted to show you this place, because I knew you’d like it. Because I know you. How lucky I am to know you,” he begins, slowly moving you forward until you’re standing directly in front of the arch.

“How lucky I am that I’m the person you chose to trust with your heart. How lucky I am to be able to come home to you after a hard day. How lucky I am to be the recipient of your kindness and your love. How lucky I am to bask in your happiness and your spirit day after day. How lucky I am that you put up with the crazy world I live in, and do it without complaint.”

Your hands were starting to shake at this point, eyes watering.

“What I did to deserve all of this, I’ll never know. But I know I’ll never take it for granted. I’ll never take you for granted. And if you’ll let me, I’ll spend every day of the rest of our lives telling you how thankful I am to whatever celestial being lead me to you,” Jack pauses, dropping to his knee and fishing around in his pocket for the velvet box he’s had hidden in a pair of old skates in the closet for months.

“You are pure sunshine, shining light on every single person you meet. Y/N Y/L/N, please, let me live the rest of my life sunburnt. Marry Me.”

That was the easy part. Asking you to marry him was the quickest and easiest decision Jack had ever made in his life. He hadn’t thought twice when he called Luke on a random Thursday afternoon, telling him he needed to help him run some “errands”, driving to the nearest jeweler as soon as Luke sat in his passengers seat. Didn’t even hesitate when he called your best friend, asking if you had ever talked about what your favorite diamond cut was. Not a nerve in sight when he flew out to meet your parents to ask for their blessing two months before proposing, claiming he was just making a quick trip to visit some friends.

So why? Why was he so nervous today? He’s been looking at himself in the mirror for twenty minutes now, worried that his bow tie is crooked, or that his hair looks too messy. He didn’t know why he was so focused on his appearance. You’ve seen him at his worst. You’ve been there to take care of him after far too many drinks on a night out celebrating a win, hair stuck to his forehead with sweat, head buried in the closest toilet. You’ve seen him after a brutal game, face red from exertion and weird imprints all over his body from his gear. You’ve seen him when he broke down after his first loss during his rookie year, putting all the blame on himself, holding him in your arms as he sobbed in your kitchen.

He knew you didn’t care if a few hairs were out of place, or if his tie was a centimeter too far to the left. But he did. He cared, because this was the most important day of his life, and you deserved for him to look his best. You deserved for him to make sure everything was perfect.

Jack is pulled from his thoughts by a knock at the door, Luke and Quinn making their way into the room.

“Ready, Rowdy?” Quinn asks, going to stand behind Jack in the mirror.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Jack responds, turning to look at his two brothers, forcing a smile that’s supposed hide all of his nervous emotions.

“Are you sure? Why do you look like you’re about to vomit, then?”

“I don’t? Do I? Oh god, what if she thinks there’s something wrong when she sees me? How do I make myself look like I’m not gonna hurl all over her dress. Luke, do I really look like I’m gonna blow chunks?” Jack frantically asks, looking between the two brothers, turning back around to look at himself in the mirror once again.

“Jack, breathe, man. You look fine. Luke was just being Luke. He doesn’t look like he’s going to vomit, right, Luke?” Quinn attempts to calm Jack, glaring at Luke.

“Yeah, I didn’t mean it. Sorry, Jack. You look fine. She’s probably gonna want to jump your bones or some shit. You look great.” Luke blurts, trying to not only escape the wrath of his eldest brother, but to keep Jack from actually vomiting.

“Okay, not what I meant but whatever works, I guess.” Quinn sighs, placing his hands on Jack’s shoulders to turn him back around.

“Listen, everything’s going to be fine. We just went to see Y/N, she’s nervous just like you are. I don’t know why, you’re both so painfully obvious with how much you love each other. There’s nothing for you to worry about. She loves you, man. More than I’ve seen someone love another person. As long as you’re standing there waiting on her at the end of the aisle, you could be covered in dog shit for all she cares. She just wants to see you. She just wants to marry you.”

Jack stares at his older brother, letting the words sink in. His thoughts drift to you, only three doors down, standing in your dress looking into the mirror just like he is, freaking out over things that don’t truly matter to him. He thinks about how you could walk down the aisle, hair un-brushed, pajamas still on, slippers on your feet and he would still be ecstatic to see you.

“You’re right, Q. Of course you’re right. I knew I chose you to be my best man for a reason,” Jack chuckles, feeling his nerves settle a bit.

“I know I’m right. I know you. And I know Y/N. As long as the two of you leave here today with the same last name, everything else could go wrong and you would still be the happiest couple I know,” Quinn removes his hands from Jack’s shoulders.

“But, nothing is going to go wrong, because Mom has been out there running around like a madwoman to make sure everything is in place. The only thing left is to make sure you get to the altar. Which is what we were sent here to do,” Luke chimes in, trying to assure his brother one last time.

“Alright. Yeah. I guess it’s time, huh?”

“It’s time, Rowdy. And it’s been a long time coming.” Quinn pats Jack on the back, the three brothers making their way towards the door that was left open.

Jack smiles at his brother’s statement, knowing you’re just as much a part of his brother’s lives as you are his. You watch every single one of Quinn’s hockey games (as long as he’s not playing at the same time as Jack and Luke) and scream loud enough for the neighbors to complain. You were there at Jack’s side for Luke’s draft day, just as proud, if not more, of the youngest Hughes. You always invite Luke over for a post-game dinner, knowing how tired he is after games and wanting to make sure he gets a meal before he goes home and claims he’s too tired to eat. He knows you hold a special place in his mom’s heart, too. Her claim that you’re the daughter she never had proving to be true through this whole process, knowing she’s been involved in every step of this wedding right along side your mom and yourself.

Before Jack knows it, the ceremony is beginning and he’s being given the signal to make his way to the altar, standing next to his groomsmen as he waits for you to walk through those doors.

As he looks out over the crowd, he finds himself growing nervous once again. Did he put on enough cologne? Did he bring the right kind? What if he wasn’t wearing the one you told him was your favorite? Did he brush his teeth? What if he kisses you for the first time as your husband and his breath tastes like the burger he had for lunch? Oh god, what if you don’t want to kiss him because he has burger breath?

Quinn can sense the nervous energy radiating off of his brother once again. He places his hand on Jack’s back, giving him a few pats to let him know he’s right there next to him. That everything’s going to be okay.

Jack looks over at his brother only briefly before he hears the unmistakable tune of “In Case You Didn’t Know” by Brett Young start playing through the speakers. It’s Jack’s song for you. He plays it all the time when you’re in the car together, not even trying to be subtle. He loves to send it to you when he’s on the road, letting you know he’s thinking about you. There was absolutely no question in your mind as to what song you were going to choose when your mom asked what you wanted to walk down the aisle to.

He snaps his attention to the double doors that open at the other end of the large room. His stomach is in knots, really hoping he doesn’t actually look like he’s about to puke, because he sure feels like it right now.

As he watches the first flash of white make an appearance in the doorway, he knows he’s a goner.

You step into his full view, hand wrapped around your father’s arm, looking around at the various guests for only a split second before your eyes meet his. Jack swears, all time stops in that second. He can barely see through the tears that well in his eyes, completely in awe of you. You match his gaze, forcing yourself to keep the tears from dropping, not wanting to have mascara streaks running down your face before you even get to the altar.

The two of you simply stare at one another for what seems like an eternity. An unspoken declaration of love passed between one another in a simple glance. Your father having to tug on your arm slightly, forcing you to step forward, too lost in Jack for you to remember where you were and what was currently taking place.

As you start to walk down the aisle, every step bringing you towards Jack, towards the rest of your life with him, the feeling of calmness washes over his body. You’re here. You’re his. And you’re everything he has ever wanted and more. It’s in this moment, watching the rest of his life walk towards him, smile on her face, a single tear slipping down her cheek, Jack Hughes has never been less nervous in his life.

[theanimeroom]

BOMBSHELL | TEASER

synopsis: five men, five women, one villa. with hearts and a $50,000 cash prize on the line, who will win the race to find love?

warnings: love island au featuring: tokyo revengers, blue lock, and jujutsu kaisen, lots of kissing, smut, multi characters × reader, lots of mixed pairings, very random challenges, fluff, slow burns, mentions of cheating, drama, angst, plenty of tears, multi fandom, and playlists included!

a/n: content warnings will be posted with each chapter, so be sure to read thoroughly before indulging! i haven't written a full fic in a while, so any beta readers would be appreciated to make sure that the story comes out as best as it could <3 the story will progress through my own discretion as well as voting at the end of each chapter, so make sure to cast your votes to see how the plot will unfold!

BOMBSHELL MASTERLIST

your heartbeat was erratic as you stood in front of the fire pit and your host, eyes scanning the expanse of the large, beautiful villa that you'd been staying at for the past four weeks.

you still remember the first day that you walked in here; a plethora of pretty faces greeting you with happy smiles and intrigued expressions. you reminisced the way that you were almost as nervous as you are now, eyes wide and palms clammy as you tried to ignore the growing anxiety surging through you. you thought about all the experiences you'd had up until this point, all the friends you made, all the things you learned about yourself, and most importantly, him.

out of everything that you had been through in your time at the villa, one thing that made the whole experience worth it was finally meeting the person of your dreams. you came onto the show thinking that it would be something fun, maybe slightly embarrassing, but fun nonetheless. you never thought that you would come out the end with someone that you could call your own, someone who understood you seemingly better than you knew yourself. despite all the fights, all the tears, and everything in between, you managed to come out the other end okay. happy even.

and you weren't the only one.

your gaze fluttered to your best friend, who stood two people away from you, a proud smile crossing your lips even with your nerves consuming you. you weren't the only person who came into the villa with baggage on their shoulders, yet none of you let it stop you. a brief image of you holding her as she cried into your arms flashed through your mind, the sadness and betrayal leaving her a wreck in your makeup room. you'd thought for a moment that it would be the end of your time together, yet you were happy to see her pull through and find happiness in the end.

everyone here had done their absolute best, even with their rights and wrongs, and that thought alone was enough to quell the queasy feeling building up in your stomach.

"alright islanders, it is officially time," the hosts' voice chopped through the nerve-wracking silence with ease, her calm expression giving no hints as to how the end of the night would go. a long sigh escaped your flared nostrils as you closed your eyes, teeth grazing your bottom lip as you forced your emotions to stay in check.

a soft hand turned your attention to your left, air escaping you as you looked up at the man you could truly say you were starting to love. he smirked at you, his own expression laced with playfulness as he tried his best to calm you down. a large grin spread across your face when you felt fingers interlocking with yours, a gentle squeeze giving you all the reassurance you needed to keep yourself grounded for the time being. your breath halted as he leaned down, lips just barely touching the shell of your ear as he whispered to you softly. "we'll be fine, baby."

you pulled away so you could glance into his eyes, a small nod giving him confirmation that you heard what he said. you trust him, probably more than you should.

"it has been a long, hard journey for those of you remaining," your host started, giving a soft smile to each of the islanders standing on the other side of the firepit. "yet, each of you has managed to find a connection here in the villa. although some of you have been through more struggles than others," you could feel the heat rising onto your face when your eyes made direct contact with hers, a snort escaping you as you laughed with the rest of the islanders that you could now call your best friends. "you all have made it to the finals, and are now in the running for the 50,000 dollar prize on the line."

you subconsciously tightened your grip on his hand at the mention of the prize, your body weight shifting from one foot to the other. you wanted to win, wanted that 50,000 so badly so you could finish your schooling without issues. yet, you were content with whatever outcome was prepared for you. in the end, as long as you had him next to you, you would give up the money in a heartbeat.

"since the start of the show, the country has been voting for their favorite love island couple," each word she spoke left your anxiety spiking, your mind begging her to just hurry up and give the results before your heart exploded from suspense. "but now, they have voted for their official love island winner."

you held your breath as you stared at the host, silence taking over the villa as she picked up a small envelope from the couch behind her. you eyed the paper with angst as she peeled it open slowly, reading the results before looking up at the lot of you behind the fire pit.

you watched as her jaw flexed, a breath getting sucked into your mouth as your heart started to beat so fast you thought it would jump out of your chest.

her mouth opened, eyes scanning the crowd before the first words left her lips. "and the winner... of love island is..."

[koolades-world]

Ok so this is on the angsty side, you can write this how you generally want but I do hope you keep the concept the same, you can add less angst if you want

Ok so

A replaced AU where MC is pretty much discarded by the brothers so they can pay more attention to the new exchange student. It starts off slowly at first, them saying they want to make sure RN(replacement name) knows their way around and that they’re new so they want to make them feel welcomed, but then it starts becoming where they stop hanging out with MC in general. They stop inviting them out, they forget to tell them food is ready or that they ordered food(they don’t even get them food either). MC just feels very forgotten

Ok so for the actual request now lol

Can you do pretty much this concept for a fic with MC who got attacked and really badly injured by another demon, was found by either Solomon or Simeon, and after they contacted Diavolo(and got MC bandaged and cleaned up) they all collectively decided(Diavolo, Barbatos, Simeon, Solomon, and even Luke) that they wouldn’t tell the brothers what happened. They wouldn’t even have MC go back to HOL, they let them stay at purgatory hall and would have Barbatos keep an eye on them when they were in RAD. They’ll wait to see how long it takes them to notice their absence. And months pass. Months of MC slowly healing from her trauma of being attacked and slowly learning how to be a basic human again. None of the brothers realize MC is even gone. They only notice once one of them need something from them and they ask if anyone has seen them. When they go to Diavolo to ask, he immediately reprimands and yells at them for not noticing the fact that they were gone for MONTHS. He asks where they were when MC was attacked and bleeding out on the floor and where they were when they were healing from that attack

They now all feel like shit and they just get the exact same reaction from Solomon and Simeon when they try and call them too. Everytime they see MC in public, they always have someone by their side, always ready to keep them away from them. When they do see MC from far away, they see how small they look, how they’re constantly looking around and flinching at any sudden movement or loud sound. They feel even worse by the day. They were all also blocked on MC’s DDD so they can’t even try and talk through messages or calls. They need to slowly regain their trust, if they even regain it at all.

Yeah that got a little angsty lol

Again you don’t have to make it as angsty as I described, you can make it as angsty as you want(I would love a good cry though lol)

Please please please and thank you! Take your time with this one if you need

this request vanished on me a couple times now so I grabbed it as soon as I saw it again! curse tumblr and whatever it’s on. really hope they get around to fixing that because it is so scary and nerve wracking to have something disappear on you like that

i can only assume the second ask was also you haha it was quite fun to read and really get into the idea you created :) i decided to use Rn for the replacement mc, like how I used Mc as a name, since i liked it so much

alright enough about that, i love my angst and it feels like you almost knew it haha. you asked and i will deliver! i veered off the idea a little, but i hope you enjoy :)

enjoy <3

bygone

It was hard being second best at anything. Constantly being passed over and just missing the mark of being best. It hurt, knowing you were so close yet so far from number one. But what you were to the brothers now was far worse than second best; forgotten.

You don't know when this all had started, and initially, you'd been forgiving, because the treatment Rn was getting was the treatment you wished you'd had when you arrived in the Devildom. You wouldn't want to wish a negative experience upon them, since you were in their shoes at one point. And yet after everything, you couldn't find a reason to blame them for anything.

It wasn't their fault they were in the Devildom. It wasn't their fault they were more likable than you. And it wasn't their fault you were attacked.

It was particularly gloomy that day, and it was so windy you almost got swept away a couple times. But the brothers didn't care and you knew it. Your Purgatory Hall friends were all busy at clubs, and while they'd offered a quiet corner for you to do your work in so they could walk you home, you refused. You didn't want to bother then even though you knew they didn't mind.

You thought the walk home would've been uneventful, like it usually was. You were right, and you made it home safely, until you realized you'd left an important textbook in your locker. You made it successfully back to RAD, and were in front of your locker trying to open it when you were slammed from behind into it. You must've hit your head, because everything after that was hazy and you struggled to recall what happened, or who attacked you. The next thing you remembered was Simeon hovering over you, looking more distressed than you'd ever seen him.

The morning after, you woke up with a pounding headache you thought was due to your morning alarm. You'd reached over to turn it off, but before you could, Luke rushed in the room and began scolding you for trying to get up. As he talked at you, his words went in one ear and out the other. The other members of Purgatory Hall, as well as Barbatos entered the room at some point. They all looked strained or disturbed in a way. When you asked what had happened, Solomon was the one to break the news to you. You didn't know quite how to feel, but you knew at the very least that you were finally in good hands.

After this, the four of them sat in the room with you, and just chatted with you. It was nice to feel welcome in such a casual space again. At some point, you realized you weren't at home, and were instead at Purgatory Hall. That was when they revealed their plan to just not tell the brothers, and that you were more than welcome to live with your friends at Purgatory Hall instead. You felt a weak smile form on your face. It was good to be wanted again.

As time passed by, you grew physically better thanks to the attentive care of your new housemates, but the same couldn't be said emotionally. In the comfort of home, you felt safe, especially surrounded by your wonderful support system. At first, you couldn't even bring yourself to leave the house, and the first time you saw one of the brothers again was a major setback, but you did what you could. Those around you gave you all the time you needed to heal, and you let them know you were finally ready to try and take that next step again.

Barbatos and Diavolo had invited the residents of Purgatory Hall over for a nice little tea party, which you were proud to say you were now included in. They’d told you to get dressed up to spend a nice afternoon with them and enjoy yourself. It was something to look forward to, so the night before, you laid out an outfit. The next morning, you woke up feeling excited for once. Your new support system seemed determined to make this the best day possible, and despite asking them not to jump through hoops for you, they went to whatever lengths possible just to see you smile.

You felt possible the happiest you’d ever been since before Rn arrived when you got to the castle. All the little D’s welcomed you enthusiastically and ushered the four of you into the castle. Diavolo was already seated, but got up as soon as you walked into the room. He greeted you with a hug and soon, the five of you were happily talking. Barbatos joined you at some point, and knowing you would insist he relax, he sat down with the promise to get up if you needed anything.

It was supposed to be perfect.

You were enjoying your second cup of tea when there was a frantic knock at the door. It was distant, but you could all hear the panic behind it. Barbatos was the first to get up and he announced he would check it out. The five of you glanced around at each other, but continued as normal. A couple minutes went by, and a little D flew into the room and pleaded with Diavolo for help. This alarmed all of you, but Diavolo had you sit back down while he went to go assist Barbatos. Solomon and Simeon exchanged glances, but did as he asked.

You began to hear yelling, and the door Diavolo had just left through burst open. An awfully familiar pair of blue eyes locked onto you. "Mc!" Mammon called out. You froze, not sure how to react. Solomon stood up, pushing his chair back and letting it scrape against the ground.

Before anyone could speak, Diavolo pushed past Mammon and stood directly in front of him, arms crossed. "I didn't give you permission to enter my home." You'd never seen Diavolo more serious. Mammon was hidden from view now, thankfully, but that couldn't stop the sound of his voice reaching your ears.

"You lied to us. Mc is here." Mammon's tone was so sharp, it nearly cut the tension in the room.

"Why would you do that? We miss them." Levi sounded more angry than you'd ever heard him. The noise of his tails thrashing angrily about against the marble floors echoed through the hall.

"Oh really? You miss them, you say? Did you miss them when they were alone because of your actions? Did you miss them when they were bleeding out in the halls of RAD? Did you miss them in the months of recovery? You were so consumed with Rn that you failed to notice the absence of the very person that solved many of your problems and brought your family back together." Diavolo had shifted into his demon form in the middle of his rant. You could feel the waves of anger peeling off of him, and you knew sure as hell that the brothers could feel it too.

The room was filled with silence again. Solomon moved to stand next to the future king. "You should go now." His voice was soft, but firm.

"I'll see them out." Barbatos was behind the brothers somewhere. They left without much resistance after they got a glimpse at your face. During the entire interaction, you felt silent tears streaming down your face. Luke leant over and tried to offer you a handkerchief with his name embroidered on the corner. When you didn't move to take it, he dabbed the tears from your face for you and embraced you tightly.

"I'm sorry about them, Mc." Diavolo walked back over to you and stood behind you.

"It's alright." You hugged Luke back. Diavolo joined in, causing Solomon and Simeon to as well. "I have you guys, don't I?"

[harrygoeswest]

Friday Night

A Friday night gig featuring London, a Lime bike, and Harry Styles as your doting date.

992 words of fluffy nothing for the lovely @harry-on-broadway’s little fic challenge. I haven’t written anything Harry-related for a while so apologies if this is trash <3

~~~

It’s officially scarf weather, you decide, as you stand outside the Roundhouse one early October evening, scarf-less.

The temperature has dropped, you’ve pulled your winter coats out of storage, and your ears get cold on your morning walk to work now. Part of you is relieved—the heat was starting to bother you, make you lethargic and tetchy. Another part hates that flu season is imminent. But…Halloween.

Pros and cons, pros and cons.

While you wait, you watch the pedestrians idle on by, and the traffic creep past in that typical Friday night crawl. Commuting anywhere is hard. Commuting in London is like suffering in the fiery pits of hell. But this is what you signed up for, and in all honesty, something about the hustle and bustle of city living settles something in you, as strange as that sounds. You’d never been stagnant, and it’s hard to reach a point like that in a place that never sits still.

With a boyfriend that never sits still.

Speaking of…

A man on a Lime bike rings his bell as he passes by, and you can’t help the roll of your eyes. You watch as he brakes to a stop in the nearest bike park, and bury your nose beneath the warmth of your coat. Your eyes track his movements as he swings his leg over, secures the bike and ends his trip on his phone, before stalking in your direction.

He’s wearing simple grey wool trousers, one of his many Mickey Mouse t-shirts, and a navy shirt over the top with his black Vans. His hair is styled in this strange faux hawk, mullet type way again, that on anyone else you would hate. But on him…?

Nope. Not at all.

You take in a deep breath, anticipating that expensive cologne he always wears, and your mouth waters when it hits your nostrils. You release your inhale on a sigh.

“I think,” you start as he halts right before you, green eyes smiling downward into yours, “at this point, it’d probably be cheaper to invest in your own bike. You know?”

He purses his lips. “I’m giving back to the community.”

You bark a laugh. “Is that what we’re calling it?”

Harry grins, then leans down to press his mouth to yours in a chaste kiss. “Hi.”

“Hi.” You match his smile and kiss him back. “No bumbag today?” You jest, peering around his waist and hips for any sign of his ‘banana’ bag.

Now it’s his turn to roll his eyes, but it’s all in good fun. “Not today.”

You kiss your teeth. “Shame.”

He takes stock of you then, eyes roaming your bundled up frame. “Are you cold?”

“Just a bit.”

“Should’ve put a scarf on, baby.”

“I know,” you whimper.

“Ready for some food?” He points to the door of the restaurant attached to the venue.

“Yep.”

He saunters past you, snatching your hand up as he goes.

“Harry?”

He halts, turns back to you with a comically expectant look, and lowers himself at the waist until you’re eye-to-eye. “Yes?”

“Got the tickets?”

His expression freezes, and he does this nerve-wracking, panicky pat down of his chest, hips and backside before he relaxes, clicks a finger at you, and says, “On my phone. You can do that these days, you know?” And then pecks the tip of your nose with his lips.

You playfully whack him in the chest. “Fuck off.”

Inside, music is playing at an almost obnoxious level, only made worse by the fact that it’s one of Harry’s old songs.

You say old, because it’s just turned seven. “Aw,” you coo.

Tables upon tables are full of pre-gig goers grabbing a bite, talking loudly and boisterously. Thankfully, one of you was smart enough to book ahead, so when you speak to a host, you’re taken to one of only two free tables and handed over menus.

Dinner is spent sharing stories of your day, exchanging easy banter and casual affectionate touches. You steal food off Harry’s plate when he’s not looking, and he steals food off yours when you are looking without an ounce of shame. Once the bill is paid, you head inside the venue hand-in-hand.

You find a corner out of the way but with a good view from the balcony, and Harry glues himself to your back, arms wrapped tightly around you—taking up position for the rest of the night.

When the band starts, he bobs and sways with you in his arms, singing along to the words while his chin rests on your head. He dances more during the upbeat songs and leaves little kisses to your cheek and neck during the slower, sadder songs, but whatever his mood, he’s infectious, and you can’t help but join in.

At the end of the night you filter out into the cold October night air.

“Your place or mine?” He asks as you wander away from the crowds, his hand still clutching yours tightly.

You pretend to think about it. “Your bed is bigger.”

“That’s always your answer.”

“Then you should know better than to ask.” You give him a saccharine smile.

He pinches your cheek. “Your place is closer.”

“My place is a dump at the moment.”

“When have I ever cared?”

“You should care.”

“I really don’t, though. Mine isn’t exactly tidy either.”

You peer up at him, and he turns an indulgent smile on you.

“Fine,” he concedes. “We can go to mine, but we’re going on a bike.”

“The fuck we are. I’ll go home by myself in that case.” You start walking the opposite way, but Harry drags you back towards him with ease.

“The fuck you will.”

Then, right there in the middle of a still busy London pavement, he cups your cheeks and kisses you. And like the helpless fool you are, you let him.

“I’ll get us an Uber,” he says against your lips.

Your grin is triumphant.

~~~

Peace and love, friends :)

[seongclb]

BIRTHDAY CALL ! park sunghoon

PAIRING. classmate!hoon x classmate!reader

WARNINGS. none that i’m aware of :)

WORD COUNT. 1117

N. happy birthday to the loml, my handsome boy with the prettiest dimples ever! idk what this is btw i wanted to make it an smau??? we shall see

“hello?” as soon as the almost melodic sound of sunghoons voice echoed through your bedroom from your phone on speaker, you began to deeply regret letting your friends convince you to prank call sunghoon.

to be fair, at the time their words of convincing seemed extremely plausible; there was a slim chance of sunghoon realising that it was you speaking, since you were on no caller id and the times that he’d actually held a conversation with you was little.

it wasn’t that you didn’t want to, it was just far too nerve wracking. who wouldn’t be nervous to talk to a man with a face like that?

sure, you had loads of mutual friends and there were many opportunities to speak to him but the fear of blabbering like a buffoon in front of sunghoon was scarier than anything you’d imagine. so, this was your only chance of having some fun with the guy. it was harmless, and a great way to end your night with a smile on your face after hearing his voice.

that being said, you should have just stopped after hearing him say “hello?”

but, nope. that definitely was not what happened following.

shakily, you scramble to unmute the call and frantically look at your friends sitting around you, “i heard you’re good at math!”

your friends furrow their eyebrows at you, mouthing words of a frenzy since this was far from what was rehearsed. originally, the plan was to say a silly joke about his football jersey and tell him how good looking he was. but, clearly your mind had ideas of their own.

sunghoon chuckles into the phone, and the noise of him closing a door is evident, “yeah, i’d say i am. why?”

there wasn’t a single thought behind your next actions, “oh, well this might be easy to understand then! are you math? because i can’t understand my feelings around you.”

your friends facepalm, throwing their heads into your nearby pillows to muffle their sounds of dismay upon quite possibly the cheesiest thing they’ve ever heard.

sunghoon booms with laughter, almost in disbelief, and you can hear the smile plastered on his lips as he says, “i’m pretty sure anyone would understand that pick up line, even if they weren’t good at math.”

“you’re right,” you bite your lip, feeling your stomach churn as the call goes silent for a moment.

“i have to say,” sunghoon exhales, “i expected better from you, y/n.”

“huh?” you gasp, your breathing rates growing faster with each passing second.

again, the sounds of sunghoon rummaging around in his room are coursing through your ears; if the sounds of his movements weren’t clear enough before, they certainly were right now due to your immense fear upon him realising it was you who had decided to call him the evening before a lesson with him. the room suddenly reeked of your desperation to hear his voice, which was the mere reason for you calling him in the first place.

“i’m pretty sure this is you, y/n,” sunghoon lightly laughs into the phone. “make sure you do your biology notes for tomorrows lesson.”

and with that, the phone call cuts. the phone slips out of your hand as all colour in your skin seeps out of your body.

—

fingers white and slippery from how hard you’re clutching your books that sweat begins to form, making your hands clammy. your eyes clamp shut as you step into the biology classroom, looking down at the floor in order to not make eye contact with the oh, so beautiful boy who sits on the desk a mere five feet away from you.

although you focus on everything else in the room, his eyes boring into you is the only thing you can notice and feel. clearing your throat, you slip into your seat and frantically open your textbooks, reciting a silent prayer begging for the lesson to go by faster than ever. as you focus on the suddenly jumbled words on your textbook, you can hear people greeting sunghoon and wishing him a happy birthday.

“thanks, man,” sunghoon smiles up at one of his friends.

“are you doing anything for your birthday?” his friend asks, also taking a seat since class was about to start.

sunghoon takes a breath, and you can feel his eyes on you once again, “maybe? we’ll see.”

the bell chimes beautifully, announcing that it was okay to run out of the classroom. victory could only last so long with the sweet taste of it being ripped away from you seconds after escaping the suffocating class room, you felt a hand on your backpack pull you to another direction.

looking over your shoulder, you saw a smirking sunghoon standing over you with a hand tightly grasped around the strap of your backpack.

“aren’t you going to wish me a happy birthday?” sunghoon smiles warmly, towering over you as he stands with his hands in his pockets.

“oh, happy birthday,” you say, swiftly despite my throat feeling dry from the anxiety of having him standing so close, knowing what you had done the previous evening.

sunghoon laughs, just like he had done the night before. you watch his dimples appear in his cheeks as his nose scrunches up and his eyes curl into the cutest crescents you’ve ever seen.

“what’s so funny?” you gulp, adjusting your backpack.

“you. you’re funny,” sunghoon breathes out. “was my phone call your birthday gift to me?”

after the phone call, your friends had decided that feigning innocence was the best option, “i’ve no idea what you’re talking about.”

sunghoon rolls his eyes, “don’t try it. i know how your voice sounds. i’ve been in your class for three years.”

you frown, “was it that obvious?”

sunghoon chuckles, “yes! just because we don’t talk that often doesn’t mean i wouldn’t know! i’m not that slow.”

“but, still,” you mutter, somewhat disappointed. yet, there was something so heartwarming about knowing how sunghoon recognised your voice. perhaps all that participating in schools and presentations had been worth the embarrassment, since sunghoon could now easily distinguish your voice.

sunghoons still staring at you with a kind smile, “you know what would make my birthday even better that it already has been?”

you shake your head as sunghoon takes a step closer.

“go out with me,” sunghoon asks, raising one of his perfectly carved eyebrows.

“as if i’d say no,” you reciprocate his the wide grin across his cheeks. “only because it’s a birthday gift.”

with a bite of your lip, hoping he realises your attempt at making a smooth joke. by the amused expression painted over his face, sunghoon definitely has.

“that’s the only reason?” he ponders, acting disappointed. “what a shame. i thought you were interested in me.”

you straighten up, “what would happen if i was?”

“then, i’d ask you for your number. so you don’t get any more random ideas to prank call me instead of asking me out like a normal person,” sunghoon looks down at you with twinkling eyes.

you roll your eyes, “give me your phone.”

“gladly,” sunghoon beams.

[toiletclown]

breathless.

spencer agnew x gn!reader

mostly fluff, a little angst.

summary: you've had feelings for your best friend, spencer, almost as long as you have known him. it isn't getting any easier, and you need to tell him soon, whether he feels the same or not. your friends are pushing you, the fans already ship you, and after courtney and shayne's success, you just couldn’t bare to keep lying anymore. to yourself, or to him.

word count: 2028

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

It’s been two years since you graduated from Smosh crew member to Smosh cast member. You weren’t the first, and are unlikely to be the last, but it’s still a bit nerve-wracking. You were moved to cast not long after Spencer made his switch to cast, but that was exactly your problem, wasn’t it? When you were both on crew, it was easier. Small smiles, hidden glances, a blush forming under your mask. Once or twice, Brennan had swiveled his camera to the crew to get their reactions and you couldn’t duck fast enough to dodge the shot. 

You both shared moments without fear of judgment, knowing everyone at Smosh knew how close you were. Some more than others. But once you were both on camera more often, those moments dwindled to near nothingness. You couldn’t make eyes at him, he couldn’t flirt with you. Plenty of the cast flirted with each other on and off camera, of course, but it was different somehow. The office flirting became private hangout flirting, which then became no flirting at all. 

He didn’t get jealous anymore when Amanda or Angela flirted with you, and you did your best not to get jealous when he flirted with Tommy or Shayne. It was like your friendship was entirely platonic again. And while that was all it had ever been – platonic – it hurt a little. It was like something happened overnight, and the flirting wasn’t cool anymore.

The last time something happened before your promotion to cast, Spencer, Angela, and Chanse were doing Who Meme’d It with Shayne, and someone had sent in a meme about you always looking at Spencer. As soon as it popped up, everyone was laughing, and Brennan promptly turned his camera to get your face. You were smart enough to expect it, and you managed to push out a laugh and shrug to the camera. All in good fun, it seemed. But really, it was a little bit upsetting to realize you were so obvious about your affection for Spencer. You thought that you were fairly secretive and weren’t too over the top, but apparently not so much.

“Okay, ‘Y/N pretending they weren’t just staring at Spencer’! Spencer, any thoughts?” Shayne said through giggles. 

Spencer made eye contact with you, and you did your best to hold it. “Gotta be honest, Shayne, I wasn’t even aware they stared at me. Guess they’re sneakier than I thought!” Everyone was laughing again, and you joined in. Instead of making a joke about him staring at you, or a joke about you two flirting in your pod, he went with a PR answer. You could barely admit to yourself how bad it had stung. And sure, most people got roasted in Who Meme’d It, especially with the lack of funeral roasts, but it didn’t really feel good to have your private crush on Spencer blasted to not only cast and crew, but whoever ends up watching this video. And his comment was making it seem more one-sided than you liked.

After the laughter settled down, Shayne got back to hosting. “Alright, who meme’d it! Was it Erin Dougal? Courtney? Or Y/N themselves?” You made a silly face when Brennan panned to you, channeling your best mad scientist look. Your face dropped immediately after. No one saw it.

The cast members debated for a second before writing down their answers. It was Courtney across the board. “Alright, so we all think Courtney made this meme. Angela, what makes you think it was Courtney?” 

“Shayne, that’s a great question, thank you so much for being here with me today. I said Court because I have seen them having little whisper sessions with Y/N and I simply don’t trust like that!” Angela laughed, a bright smile on her face. She winked at you once the camera had moved away from her face. She was actually your go-to confidant, and you were sure she knew that. She was your best friend, behind Spencer, after all.

After a dramatic pause, it was revealed that Erin Dougal was the one who made the meme. You could have called that from a mile away, but that was because Erin was constantly telling you to ask Spencer out. You shot her down every time, knowing it was safer and easier to suffer in silence with your feelings rather than to possibly fuck everything up with your best friend. Besides, suffering in silence was what you were best at.

//

And now, a few months later, you were the one in front of the camera for a Who Meme’d It. It was your first time actually competing, although you’ve sent your fair share of memes in. Spencer and Angela were the only two people to continuously guess you correctly, which in the grand scheme of things made the most sense as they were your closest friends at Smosh. However, you were now competing against both of them, and your competitive side didn’t have a concept of “friendship”, unfortunately. 

“Okay! Welcome back to Who Meme’d It! Today we have Angela, Y/N, and Spencer competing. And Y/N is quite competitive so let’s hope they still have their best friends after this!” Shayne introduced you all, smiling at you to ease your anxiety. 

“Lest we forget what happened when they were on Don’t Win Mario Party and nearly killed me,” Spencer said, turning towards you with his hands folded on the table. His eyes were smiling, but he was trying his best to keep a serious face.

You turned to face him, mirroring his expression and hands. “Lest we forget you deserved that attack because you fucked with my controller mid-lap so that you could get seventh.”

“Okay, are we doing Who Meme’d It or the Newlywed Game?” Angela joked, and you and Spencer returned to your normal positions, excited to play.

//

After the shoot, Spencer caught up with you in the kitchen. “You got your first Who Meme’d It win, how’s it feel?” You had indeed won, but only by two points. Spencer was right behind you and Angela frankly tanked it this episode. Usually she wasn’t too bad, but perhaps she knew how competitive you were going to be and decided to focus more on having fun instead of winning. Especially considering there was content being made that needed to be entertaining.

“Eh, I feel like my competitiveness isn’t very fun on camera. I’m hoping we don’t have to scrap the ep simply because I was too locked in.” You grabbed some fruit from the fridge and prepared to make your way to a table so you could sit and destress before your next shoot. You weren’t needed on set for over an hour so you were ready to mindlessly doomscroll while you snacked on your peaches.

Spencer chuckled at your comment, which made your heart flutter a bit. Suddenly, you had the urge to touch him. You put your hand on his shoulder, mostly unconsciously, not actively making the decision but simply just doing it. His giggling stopped instantly, and he looked at your hand cryptically, his expression unreadable. All too suddenly, it felt too serious, too personal, so you instantly pivoted. “But at least you didn’t win, right?” You smiled, patting his shoulder and turning to head to your seat. 

You were hoping, for the first time ever if you were being honest, that he wouldn’t follow you. Things had been weird between you two for a few weeks now, and you almost wanted some space to deal with the pain of your best friend seeming to lose interest in your friendship. And once again, Erin had submitted a meme that made you a little upset. You knew it was unreasonable to be upset with her, as it was all in good fun and she wasn’t actually trying to hurt your feelings. You should probably try to talk to her about that, since you knew she wouldn’t take your upset personally.

This one was arguably worse than the first one though, because instead of it being at your expense, it was technically at Spencer’s. The meme wasn’t mean in any regard, but it was making fun of Spencer for consistently getting “lost in his thoughts” whenever you were on a shoot together. Of course, Erin alluded to those thoughts being romantic in nature, which earned a few oohs and aahs from the crew and cast alike. You had felt your face get warm and tried to remind yourself you were on camera and it was all in good fun. 

Your thoughts were interrupted by Courtney approaching you. “Y/N, Spence! Just the two people I wanted to see. I have a question for you guys.” 

Clearly, Spencer had intended on following you, since Courtney had greeted you both. You sighed as quietly as possible, before asking Court if you could sit down before you all got to talking. Your castmates followed you to a table, and you popped a piece of fruit in your mouth. “Okay, what's up?” 

“Well, we wanted to do a Guitar Hero stream next week. I know you haven't been on any of the livestreams, so I figured I’d ask if you wanted to be in this one. You don't have to play but if you sit and make commentary I’m sure that'll be enough! But of course you can play if you want to.” Courtney was always so thoughtful, and you made a mental note to thank her for always being so considerate. 

“Oh hell yeah, I finally get to show off my guitar skills. It’s been a minute since I’ve played, but if Y/N’s down, I’m down!” Spencer’s eyes lit up. He had been trying to figure out a way to impress you and gauge your reaction before he finally took the leap and asked you on a date.

Everyone had been encouraging him to do so for months at this point, but he still wasn’t so sure about it. Yeah, you blushed whenever he mentioned you on camera and you blushed a lot during the shoot today when Erin’s meme came up. But some part of him felt like that had less to do with reciprocating a crush and more to do with embarrassment. 

You thought for a minute, munching on your peach slice. “Sure, that sounds fun. Spencer, maybe you could teach me how to play?”

Spencer broke out in a grin, “Of course I can. Although I’m surprised you’ve never played it before, it’s an iconic franchise.”

Courtney worked out a few more details with the two of you before making their way back to their pod. When she had left, Spencer turned his attention back to you. “Have you seriously never played Guitar Hero before?” He genuinely was having trouble believing that.

Truthfully, you had played before. Many times. And you were actually quite skilled at it. But it’s been quite some time since you picked up and played it, and you knew you would be rusty. Plus, you were mentally hatching a plan. Have Spence “teach” you the game, play extremely badly the whole time, then on stream you can kick his ass on Expert mode. Perfect plan.

“I have not. I might have played once or twice as a kid but I don’t really remember the controls or, like, speed, since I know some of the songs are really fast.”

“Okay, do you wanna come by my place tonight after work? I have a bunch of the Guitar Hero games but I also have Clone Hero which will probably be what we use on the stream anyway.”

Oh, right. Not-so-perfect plan. If you were to be taught, you needed to be taught before the livestream. Which means you had to hang out with Spencer outside of work. You can survive one night alone with him, right? You’ve done it so many times before. Sure, it’s been a few weeks since you guys hung out, and with your increasing feelings for him you were sure to be awkward. But it was Spencer! Your best friend in the whole world! It would be just fine. Right?

[hunnylagoon]

Right Where You Left Me

Pt 3: Being So Normal

Ellie Williams x Reader

Horror pushes tears from my eyes as I uncover the corpses of your past relationships. Each of them dead and lifeless as the next. Because that is what you do, you ruin what is good and it makes me miss you less and less as everyday goes by.

Premise: You and Ellie were childhood friends until you drifted apart. Funny thing about soulmates is that they tend to find their way back to each other. On this night some questionable choices lead you to a vulnerable state where you run out of options.

Warnings: Angst / reader has religious issues / drinking / smoking / drugs

Part one here!

Part two here!

Part three here!

ELLIE

It wasn't as fun as I thought to watch you fall apart.

The morning after Christmas you left before I even woke, your makeshift bed made. You gathered all of the boxes of shit I collected off your dad's lawn and took off, leaving behind nothing more than a letter thanking my dad for his hospitality. 

When I came back to Northridge a week later it was like I was looking at a new person. 

Everything that had happened was swept under the rug, you lied and told the girls that you had a great Christmas. You started picking up overtime shifts, you were out more than you were at home.

I watch you stumble through the doors at five AM, makeup smeared, hair a mess and the fakest smile I have ever borne witness to, plastered across your face. You worked the closing shift almost every night and would go partying afterwards with your shitty co-workers who enabled this type of ruination.

I saw your stories too, shot after shot, In every single picture you nurse a drink in your hand or a cigarette wedged between your fingers. When did you even start smoking?

Abby and Cat didn't know just had bad you were but Dina was catching on. I remember how she would go out with you at the beginning, in her mind it had just been harmless fun until it was a nightly occurrence she started to get concerned.

It's like you've euthanized the person you used to be.

You can't even stand to be in a quiet room so you will it with nonsense conversation, hardly even words and laugh at your own jokes.

You used to glow. Back in middle school, you glowed like a candle that smelled of pumpkins and lattes, your love felt like sinking into a warm bath, comfort and security. In high school you glowed like the moon, no one could pry their wondering eyes away from your nerve-wracking beauty, gentle and empathetic.

Though now you do not glow, you burn. You burn like the end of a cigarette, the bud fluttering to the ground just to be crushed by the heel of muddy Converse. The spark of a lighter to ignite your stale menthol cigarette, slipped from bony fingers like clumsy matchsticks to the wilderness, to set what once was beautiful aflame.

Fire is only beautiful while it burns, I knew that soon you would smother yourself out to ashes.

I've been nourishing my withering body with 50-cent packets of ramen noodles. 

I know that I'm not well, in fact, I think I've fallen off the rails.

When was the last time I got a full night of sleep? I'm not sure.

My days and nights bleed together and I can hardly differentiate the two. I hate everyone but I'm so starved for love I am searching everywhere for it, I look for it in dingy clubs and roadkill off the side of a highway, the bottom of a solo cup and the arms of one-night stands, I have even learned to lick it off silver knives. They have taken the rosery from my hand and replaced it with hard liquor.

I went out last night to forget like I do every single night. I look to the moon and pretend it is its being with thoughts and feelings, I act like I talk to it and it has said that it shines just for me.

Tonight, I will go out again. I smear glitter over my eyelids and slip into a silver sequin dress that doesn't even fall past my fingertips. I force my scabbed and bleeding feet into white stilettos that are sure to damage them even further. When I look in the mirror I feel a new sense of bitterness, like nicotine on the tip of my tongue, my face is thinning and my eyes are sunken in, dark bags hanging below the dull irisis. I cover it in concealer and bronze my face to help me look some sort of alive.

"Where are you going?" Dina asks me as I walk from my room and towards the front door, she has a tote bag packed up, her car keys in hand.

"The Monarch," I answer, it was a club on the main street, it tended to be the busiest also infamous for sketchy activity. My eyebrows furrow as I look at the tote bag in hand "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to Jesse's for the night, " She says, tonight her hair is loose and falling over her shoulders "Are you sure you wanna go out tonight?"

I nod, suddenly feeling vulnerable in my choice of clothing "Yeah," Sensing her judgement, I'm already getting defensive "I'm in college, all I do and go to work and school-

"Who's fault is that?" Dina cuts me off and my words fail me, I don't know what to say. She looks at me with disappointment glinting in her dark eyes.

My phone dings and I check the notification "My ride is here."

"Don't stay out too late."

"I won't," We both know that I am lying.

I have been many things over the years, a pirate, a cowboy, a warrior; over the past five months alone I have been a lonely girl and a saint, now I am a drunk who drowns out her worries in vodka and overly sweet cocktails.

"To being young, dumb, and broke!" Kayla raises her shot, and the rest of the group does the same. The small glasses clink together, and some of the vodka spills before we all swallow them back and slam them back onto the bar.

The central focal point was the expansive dance floor, alive with bodies moving in rhythmic unison. Multicoloured strobe lights cut through the haze, creating an otherworldly atmosphere.

The bar, a gleaming expanse of polished metal, beckoned with the promise of libations. Bartenders, clad in stylish attire, skillfully craft cocktails. The mirrored backdrop reflected the kaleidoscope of lights and the animated conversations that unfolded in this hub of social convergence.

Overhead, suspended fixtures resembling metallic sculptures add to the overstimulation.

"Welcome back," The bartender, Mitch, smiles at me, I know him by name now that I've been bouncing around from club to club almost every night. "Long Island ice tea?" He asks, to which I respond with a nod. He's memorized my drink too.

Kayla is beside me while the others have dispersed to dance or converse, she sips a dirty martini. Her beautiful copper hair is styled into loose curls, she is clad in all black, a tube top, a mini skirt and tall boots as well as a slightly oversized leather jacket thrown overtop. She looks like the definition of a cool girl.

Everyone liked her. 

"So how are things with the roommates?" She asks me, her green eyes piercing mine, she has a slight smile on her perfect lips.

"It's fine," I lied, again. I knew Dina was getting tired of taking care of me when I was too drunk to make my own way home, all of the girls that Ellie brought over hated me. I haven't been seeing much of Abby but Cat and I were actually good.

I can tell that Kayla doubts my words but she carries on to another topic "Are you ready to get fucked up tonight?"

"Yes, ma'am," I giggle. Around the curved bar, I see a woman, she's in a red top and black jeans, her hair in a mousy brown shag cut. Obviously, she caught my eye. "Do you think she's gay?"

Kayla discreetly turns to look at the woman, she turns back to me grinning "No shit."

The woman catches me staring at her and smiles at me, of course, she has perfectly straight white teeth and a pretty smile. I sheepishly smile back "Hey, Mitch?" I wait for the bartender to give me his attention "Two shots of Everclear?"

That's how the majority of my night plays out; I dance for a minute, swaying to- not really swaying, I was dancing in a way that became a hazard to those around me then return to the bar to down more drinks.

"Hey," I hear a voice beside me, it isn't one I recognize, and when I face it, I feel my heartbeat pick up. It was the woman I had been eyeing, now that she's this close I can see the freckles scattered on her face. "Do you wanna dance?"

I can't help when my face splits into a smile, "For sure," I slip off the barstool and follow her onto the dancefloor, the lights are orange and hazy or maybe the haziness is caused by my drunken state. The woman says something to me but it's drowned out by the overwhelmingly loud music "What?" 

"I'm Karris," She repeats, smiling down at me.

"Cool!" I say. I followed Karris' lead with the dancing, she had a certain confidence in her. 

I swayed with each ungraceful movement. Karris, the opposite of me is attuned to the music, moved with a confident fluidity that balanced out my careless stumbles. She laughs at my dancing "Here, I'll help you out." She shouts, trying to be heard over the Rhianna song blasting in my ears.

She comes up behind me, snaking her hands down my torso until they find a resting spot on my hips. With a firm grip, she slows me down, and now I'm moving with her, as one.

My sequin dress shimmered with every twist and move, like a mirrorball, I too might hang. As the light shifts I could've sworn I saw Ellie in the face of Karris. 

I felt the liquor hit me all at once and my body became loose, melting into Karris, I'm almost limp against her touch. She's in front of me now and my arms are hooked around her neck while her slim hands lay on her midriff. 

Her eyebrows furrow as she says something to me but once again it it lost in all of the noise, I just laugh, pretending like I heard what she was saying and hoping that it wasn't something about her dog dying.

The pop song changes into some song in French, I can't make out the words. Wait, I aced every French test in high school, I step away from Karris, squinting my eyes as I stand still in the middle of the dancefloor trying to process the lyrics.

 Je veux te voir- I need you, no, that doesn't sound right. I want to see you, that's it. 

 je veux t'avoir- I want to hold you.

I want to hold you? Is that it? When did my French get so rough? I can't even think straight.

I swear on every god I was so drunk that I forgot I was in the middle of a dancefloor, it had slipped from my mind that I was dancing with someone, and all I could think about was my French classes from high school.

Age fifteen - Grade 10

The French lesson seemed to be even more boring than usual that day. Monsieur Cargin was babbling on and on about how there could be a room full of women but if there was one male rat you would refer to them using ils instead of elles. It was the same lesson I had learned every single year in French.

It took Monsieur Cargin thirty minutes to announce the project. "Pour ce devoir, vous écrirez une lettre à un camarade de classe sur vous-même, vous pourrez inclure des informations sur votre famille, vos passe-temps, vos sujets préférés et peut-être un bon souvenir. Si vous êtes ami avec votre partenaire, vous pouvez écrire avec lui sur quelque chose que vous attendez avec impatience. La lettre fera au minimum un paragraphe, je viserais plus haut si vous voulez une bonne note." Easy enough, a letter to a classmate about your self. "Avant de demander, vous pouvez choisir vos propres partenaires."

I look right over to Ellie from across the room after he mentions choosing our own partners, she doesn't meet my gaze though, she looks as lost as ever, rifling through some papers in her binder and I'm not even sure she understood a word of what the teacher said.

Monsieur Cargin lets us begin our project, everyone gets up from their seat to search for a partner; Ellie, seeing that everyone is standing up, gets up as well. I wave her down to my desk, she crouches beside it and asks "What the fuck are we supposed to be doing?"

I explain the project to her while she hangs off my desk and nods at everything I'm saying, giving me her full attention "Do you get it now?"

"Yes." 

The next day we finished writing the letters and had to give them to each other before we turned it in, I gave Ellie my letter first.

Ellie,

Je suis heureux que nous soyons amis, non seulement parce que nos parents nous ont forcés à l'être, mais parce que tu es mon âme sœur dans chaque vie. J'aimerais te parler de moi, mais tu me connais déjà mieux que moi-même, alors je vais juste dire certaines choses que je sais sur toi. Vous avez lu chaque couverture de la bande dessinée Savage Starlight, plus d'une fois. Je sais que vous aimez faire du shopping dans la section hommes des magasins parce que vous pensez que c'est plus confortable même si vous finissez par ressembler à Adam Sandler. Vous détestez les mathématiques même si vous êtes vraiment bon dans ce domaine et vous aimez l'anglais même si vous détestez les études romanesques. Vous parlez à toute vitesse parce que vous avez tellement de choses à dire et pas assez de temps pour le dire, vous chantez comme une église avec une chorale et chaque fois que je vous vois entrer dans une pièce, je ne peux m'empêcher de sourire. J'ai hâte d'entrer à l'université, nous pouvons être colocataires et décorer la maison exactement comme nous le voulons, merci de toujours me supporter.

(Translation)

Ellie,

I'm glad that we're friends, not just because our parents forced us to be but because you are my soulmate in every single life. I would like to tell you about me, but you already know me better than I know myself so instead I will just say some things I know about you. You have read every Savage Starlight comic cover to cover, more than once. I know that you like to shop in the men's section at stores because you think it's more comfortable even if you end up looking like Adam Sandler. You hate math even though you are really good at it and you love English even though you hate novel studies. You talk at a mile a minute because you have so much to say and not enough time to say it, you sing like a church with a choir in it and every time I see you walk into a room I can't help but smile. I can't wait for college, we can be roommates and decorate the house exactly how we want it, thank you for always putting up with me.

I bent the rubric a little bit, talking about Ellie rather than myself but we were really getting graded on our French comprehension, not the subject matter of the letter. Ellie read it through, over and over, nodding her head along and pretending that it made perfect sense but I can tell by the way she squints her eyes and furrows her eyebrows that it doesn't make sense. She hand hers to me next, pride clear across her face.

Ton père est toujours en colère et je pense que c'est pour ça que nous sommes mariés. J'apprécie quand tu dors dans ma chambre et que nous nous battons avec des pistolets à eau. Mon film préféré à regarder est Star Wars, mais j'apprécie aussi Hunger Games parce que vous en êtes témoin. J'attends avec impatience une soirée cinéma ce vendredi avec vous. Tu es très cool, merci d'être mon ami.

(Translation)

Your dad is always mad and I think that is why we are married. I enjoy when you sleep at my room and we fight with guns of water. My favourite movie to watch is Star Wars but I also enjoy Hunger games because you witness it. I look forward to night movie this Friday because with you. You are very cool, thank for being my friend.

I can't help but giggle when I read it over, this causes panic in Ellie "Why are you laughing, what's wrong with it?"

"I love you but you are definitely failing."

I quickly helped her rewrite it before we turned it in, and she ended up getting a B with my revisions.

"Are you okay?" I hear Karris, she looks a little on edge, probably because I went nonverbal and froze for a solid minute or two.

"She's fine," Kayla puts her hands on either of my arms which are currently plastered to my side "I'm just gonna snag her for a minute if you don't mind." Kayla didn't wait for a response she was already dragging me away, guiding me through the sea of people and into the bathroom.

I always hated the bathroom here. The walls were black tile with white grout and there was graffiti all over the stalls and ceiling, apparently, it added to the effect, I just thought it was fugly; not to mention how dimly lit it was, there were red LED strips behind the mirrors but that was about the only light source. If you were trying to fix your eyeliner, you 

"What is going on with you?" Kayla leans against the counter with the sinks, I'm right in front of her with my arms crossed.

"Nothing-

"I just saw you glitch in real life," She raises her eyebrows "You literally froze, I thought you were having a stroke."

I wipe some sweat off my brow "My head hurts," I mutter, I've already had too much to drink and we really hadn't been there that long. My thoughts didn't seem to process. Now keep in mind that I was so insanely plastered that night that I don't remember everything verbatim, I had to take others' words for what happened.

"Do you want an aspirin?" Kayla asks to which I nod and she begins digging through her purse, she pulls out a little bottle and I hear the rattling of pills. It's so dark that I can only make out the vague shape of the bottle. She places a little pill into my hand and gives me a half-drunk bottle of Fiji water in my free hand.

I don't need the water though, I dry swallow it.

She tucks the bottle back into her purse and feels something, I see her eyes go wide and that alone begins to stress me out. "What?" I ask, with no answer. She dumps her purse onto the counter behind her and turns on her phone flash to look at each item, she snatches a bottle of Tylenol and takes the cap off just for her hand to fly over her mouth. "Is something wrong?"

"I didn't give you aspirin," She's fighting back laughter but her dainty features are etched with concern.

"So?" I say, "It's just Tylenol, it won't kill me," My speech is slurred from the alcohol in my system.

"Honey, it's not Tylenol," She lowers her hand from her mouth, pressing her lips together tight. "It's MDMA."

"What?"

"Ecstasy," She corrects herself, making it easier for me to understand.

"WHAT?" My eyes go wide and my jaw drops "WHAT?" I repeat, running over to one of the nasty graffiti-covered stalls and kneeling in front of it, sticking my fingers down my throat to try and throw up to get it out of my system before it sets in. "Say something gross to make me throw up!"

"Uhh," Kayla stood behind me "Think of your dad getting off with your grandma!"

"EW!" I shout, turning to look at her with disgust on my face. "Why would you say that?"

"You told me to say something gross!"

"Not that!" I cry, slouching against the stall. I wish I had a time machine, I wouldn't just go back four hours, I would go back four years and make sure I play everything right. Maybe then I wouldn't be drunk and high in the bathroom of a dingy nightclub and I would still have Ellie.

"It's okay, honey, It's clean," Kayla walks closer to me, the heels of her boots clacking on the tile "I promise," She offers me a little rub on the shoulder "I promise I'll take good care of you tonight and make sure you're safe."

She was lying through her teeth, and just an hour later I was face down on the bar, lulling in and out of consciousness. That is the exact moment I started to think it wasn't clean like Kayla had said. My high didn't feel like what I was told rolling was like.

At first, I felt fine and then everything started to feel off. You know when you spin around a bunch super fast and your world spins under your feet? It was like that. 

Before I retired to the bar, I tried to get back on the dancefloor just for my body to betray me and collapse onto the ground, people around me had stopped to watch me stagger back onto my feet and wordlessly stumble away.

After I lift my head off the spruce bartop and don't see Kayla anywhere in sight for the seventh time, I reach for my phone that I had stuffed into my bra and dial up Dina. 

I hear the hum of the tone before it clicks and I hear her static voice on the other end. "Hello?" Her voice crackles.

"Dina, I'm on drugs."

"What?" I hear some shuffling in the background then what sounds like the click of a door "What drugs? are you okay?"

"I don't know," My voice drags out "Kayla took it out of her purse, said it was MMA and I'm not-" I hiccup "I'm not doing well."

"What the hell is MMA? Isn't that mixed martial arts?"

"Dina, I'm not doing martial arts, I'm doing drugs."

She sighs and I can feel her disappointment through the phone "Are you still at Monarch?"

"Yes."

"Hang on," Something shifts in the background.

"I'm kind of scared."

"Please just stay where you are-

"I love you, Dina."

"I lo- CLICK

My phone dies, and the screen turns black. I click some buttons for a moment to ensure that it's dead before I tuck it back into my bra and let myself lull back onto the bar, I rest my head on my arms and look at the displays of liquor surrounding me.

I lose track of the time that passes, in my head I am just about the win the 72nd Hunger Games, it's down to me and another tribute. There's an intense fight, I wind up underneath her and she presses a blade to my throat, I get a good look at her face and see Ellie but her face doesn't stay the same. It morphs through every version of her I had ever known. When we were seven, her grunge phase, when she let me do her makeup. This is when I give up, I know I don't have it in me to kill her so I lay limp and await my fate-

"Hey," A man sits next to me, his presence stood out effortlessly. With a strong, chiselled jawline and well-defined features, his face carried an air of that old-money elegance. His hazel eyes were softened by something (alcohol, probably), drawing others into their captivating gaze. Dark, tousled hair framed his face, adding an intriguing touch of ruggedness. He is clad in a white button-up and dress pants, I can well he's a blue-collar man just from the way he sits.

"What?" I squint my eyes at him.

"You're really pretty, I thought I would introduce myself," He smiles "I'm Emmet."

"Okay," I answer turning my attention to look ahead at the liquor display, watching the way the lights shone through them. Right now I don't care to make conversation, even if he looks like Henry Cavell, I'm fighting to stay awake.

One of his bulky hands reaches for my necklace, four of his fingers are beneath the cross, pressed against it while his thumb rubs it "You're religious."

I look down where he cradles my cross and try to jerk away but my body feels too heavy "Not anymore," I mutter. I put one of my hands over his to move it off me, he takes this as an invitation to hold my hand.

Emmet brings his head next to mine to whisper in my ear "So does that mean you're a good girl or a bad girl-

"It means she's leaving, actually," Ellie pushes him away abruptly, he looks taken aback while she doesn't give a shit. She begins to gingerly help me off the stool "Do you have everything?"

"Why are you here?" I ask "I called Abby."

"You called Dina and she's on the other side of town with her boyfriend so she sent me." Ellie slings one arm around me and I sink into her immediately.

"I hate you so much," I murmur under my breath.

"Yeah, I bet you do," She is gentle with me, she's treating me like I'm made of porcelain and I'll shatter at the slightest bit of harm.

Emmet looks crazily offended, his hands up in defence "Hey, we were having a conversation-

"Borderline harassment doesn't constitute a conversation." Ellie looks like she rolled out of bed, she is in her grey sweatpants and field hockey hoodie, her hair in the low ponytail she always wore to sleep. "Are you okay?" She asks, her tone shifting from harsh to soft.

"Mhm," I ball my fist up and rub my eye, smearing my mascara when I do so, I look down at my hand and see the remnants of my telescopic mascara and silver glitter smudged on it. 

I am killing myself slowly and it is no crucifixion. 

As Ellie helps me into the back seat of her car I feel like mold is growing on my bones just to way me down to the concrete where I will surely rot. "I don't write enough," I mumble "And I'm so lonely I'm searching for god everywhere but I can't find him."

Ellie gives me a little hum of acknowledgment her eyes briefly shooting to me in the rearview mirror before looking back to the road. 

"Don't worry, I'm not in love with you anymore," I say nonchalantly as I'm sprawled out in her back seat, watching the light from neon signs pass us by.

"I didn't know you ever were." She says softly, hands on the steering wheel, she steals glances at me. The towering skyscrapers loomed like sentinels, their reflective glass surfaces capturing the myriad colours of neon signs that adorned the streets.

"I hate you," I add on. The mix of liquor and whatever drug Kayla gave me was doing me justice, I couldn't hold back any thought, they all fell from my lips in a jumbled mess. "I hope you die, I hope we both die." Ellie doesn't have anything to say to that. I think to myself that if I die in this moment, I would not be afraid, I would greet death like an old friend with a bright smile and warm hug. "I don't love anyone the way I love you," My head lulls against the window "And your girls, they all hate me."

"So which is it?" She asks, feeding into my tangent "Do you love me or do you hate me?"

"I-" I think about it for a brief moment "I hope if I killed myself everyone who was ever mean to me felt responsible." I look up slightly, using the car seats to help me steady myself "What are you doing?"

"I'm taking you home," She says, biting the inside of her cheek "What are you doing?"

"I'm waiting for god to call me back."

I ramble on and on, it's a miracle that she didn't stop at the side of the road and dump me onto a curb. The traffic lights painted the road in hues of red and green, and the city lights flickered like stars, helping us find our way home. 

"Ellie," I say, a building up ahead catches my eyes "Ellie, pull over!" She thinks I'm going to throw up so she pulls her gray sedan over, as swiftly as possible. I stumble out of the car, my stiletto heel catches the ground in a weird way, my ankle goes sideways and I fall with it.

"Shit," Ellie rushes from the driver's seat to help me sit up straight. I use her as support to pull myself off the concrete sidewalk completely and walk towards the church up ahead like a zombie "Where are you going?"

"To clean myself from sin," I approach the church and force the heavy doors open; I knew for a fact even in my state that this church had its chapel open twenty-four hours from all of the Google pins my mom sent me when I first moved here. 

The chapel's interior was bathed in a soft, ethereal moonlight that filtered through stained glass windows, casting a kaleidoscope of colours upon the polished wooden pews below. 

Smooth, cool stone formed the foundation of the chapel. The high, arched ceilings reached towards the heavens, adorned with wooden beams that seemed to cradle the sacred space below. The acoustics, shaped by the architecture, lent an echo to the moonlight whisper as if the very walls absorbed and magnified the prayers of the faithful.

Rows of meticulously arranged pews lined either side of a central aisle, leading towards the altar bathed in a soft glow. Carved with intricate detail, the altar served as the focal point, adorned with candles, floral arrangements, and sacred symbols. The air was scented with the subtle fragrance of incense, a sensory companion to the spiritual journey within.

Throughout the chapel, unlit candles are spread throughout. Above the altar, a crucifix hung solemnly, a symbol of sacrifice and redemption. Rays of moonlight seemed to converge upon it, imbuing the sacred symbol with a profound sense of grace. 

I try to compose myself the way you would a song or a speech and fall to my knees before the altar, clasping my hands together tightly. "My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart. In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good, I have sinned against you whom I should love above all things. I firmly intend, with your help, to do penance, to sin no more, and to avoid whatever leads me to sin. Our Savior Jesus Christ suffered and died for us. I wake young but feel as though my bones have resided on this earth for centuries."

I am at his altar but I don't feel him around me, where is his steady hand which used to guide me?

My hands grasp together even tighter "I am filthy, I'm disgusting," I choke out "I'm all used up and I need you to help me get better," I break my hands away from their position to wipe my eyes free of any oncoming tears before putting them right back "Fill me with your purity, I will be waterboarded by your sacred hand until holy water leaks from my pores."

Ellie hangs around by the entrance, sketched out by not only the creepy church but also my off-putting behaviour. She flinches at every shadow she sees, believing it to be a homeless person who was residing there for the night. I'm kneeling over in my sequin dress, one of the straps slips down my shoulder and my dress rides up, this is the most sinful I have ever been, synthetic sunshine coursing through my system.

"Make me love myself so I have room to love you," I feel so repulsive and dirty, soap and water won't make me feel clean so I'll try bleach and matches instead "I ask for Your mercy and grace to cleanse me from all unrighteousness. Create in me a clean heart, God, and renew a right spirit within me, return my family to my side."

I search for some sort of sign that he is watching over me.

Nothing.

No sign that he is here.

The priest at my old church in my hometown had said that without doubt there was no room for faith. It wasn't doubt, it was absolution, he is not here and so I unclasped my golden cross necklace and discarded it on the ground before the altar, never again will I be haunted by a man who has failed to ever show me mercy.

Ellie washes the grime off me with the detachable shower head. My hair is clipped up and I am hugging my knees, facing away from her in the bathtub. I feel a profound sense of shame and embarrassment all over again despite everything within me that is helping to take the edge off. 

She holds the shower head but looks away to give me some false sense of dignity, I cried the whole way home from the church about being filthy but with how many times I had fallen over, she didn't want me to hit my head in the shower so we settled on this.

"I'm done," I mutter and right away Ellie turns the shower off and grabs my house robe from one of the hooks on the door, she holds it up and waits for me to stand, still averting her eyes. I stand slowly, gripping onto the rim of the tub for dear life. When I slip into it, Ellie helps me move out of the bathtub and into my bedroom.

She lifts me onto the bed and tucks me in beneath my satin duvet cover. Ellie leaves for a moment but when she returns she has a bowl in case I need to vomit, a class of water, a sleeve of saltines and a bottle of actual aspirin.

"Goodnight," She begins to shut the door but I stop her.

"Ellie?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you stay with me?" My voice breaks as I say it "Just for tonight, I don't want to be alone." Wordlessly, she shuts the door and comes around the right side of my bed; Ellie is careful keep her distance from me but unlike Christmas, we face each other. "I don't hate you." I tell her because that is all I could recall saying in the car ride.

"I know."

"Do you hate me?"

"Of course not."

I don’t think I’m a whole person anymore, I think I’m made up from a dozen different perceptions of me. This version of me, born that night was anything but pure.

I am unlovely, so please, hold me gently and do not wreck me any further.

A/N: The drinking age in Canada is nineteen! They go to school in the true north strong and free. Also one more part left to go 👀

Tag list!

@elliesaturnsoftdrink @elliesaesp @melanie-watermelon @yalaysbee @laundrybag29 @readbydayana @skylerwhitwyo @lmaoo-spiderman @joliettes @kittnii @taylorgracies @sameenatruther @mikellie @belles-hell

Sorry if I missed anyone!

[merrybloomwrites]

Spencer - Smosh UTI Live

Summary: When you apply for a cast position at Smosh, you're only goal is to get a job. But that job introduces you to Spencer, the cute editor on staff. You keep your crush a secret for months, but taking part in a livestream where alcohol is a key factor may lead to a turning point in your relationship.

Word Count: 3K

CW: alcohol consumption

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Getting hired to be a cast member on Smosh is a dream come true. 

Literally. 

You’d watched Smosh videos when you were growing up, and loved when it expanded to include new people. From that moment, you had one goal in life, and you did everything you could to achieve it. 

The audition progress was equal parts exciting and terrifying, weeks spent on your application followed by multiple callbacks, each time meeting a new person who you have been a fan of for years. 

Getting the call that you were hired was the best moment of your life. Not only were you excited that you achieved your dream, but now you have proof that your hard work paid off. Plus, the people that you always looked up to had chosen you. They liked your comedy, your personality, and thought you’d fit in with them. 

Your first day is nerve wracking, as first days always are, but everyone is so welcoming that by the time you’re heading home, you feel only excitement about what’s to come. 

Over the first week or so, you manage to meet almost everyone who works for the company. You recognize plenty of them. Of course you know all the cast members, as you’ve been watching videos of them for years. You also recognize some of the crew members who have guest starred in some videos as well.

It isn’t until the start of your third week that you meet Spencer the editor. He looks familiar, you know he’s been on the channel before, but without Kimmy doing an official introduction you wouldn’t have been able to put a name to his face. 

Ever since that first conversation there was something that just drew you to Spencer. Maybe his fluffy hair, maybe his laugh, maybe even his passion for Mountain Dew kickstart. Whatever it was, it was the start of a great friendship. 

It wasn’t long before you and Spencer ended up at the same lunch table every day. It also wasn’t long before your feelings for him switched from platonic, to maybe something a little bit more. 

So yea. You developed a crush. On a coworker. Which is generally a pretty bad idea. There’s always the chance that if you started dating, you could break up and that would cause tension amongst everyone at Smosh. And with Spencer being there years before you, it probably wouldn’t end well for you. Plus, he probably doesn’t even like you back, so if you were to ask him out he’d reject you, and then everyday would be totally awkward.

That’s why you keep your feelings a complete secret. No one knows. You only tell your best friend, Katie, that you like someone at work, but don’t even tell her his name.

Time goes on, you make great friends and fun videos, and life is going well. You and Spencer talk every day, but nothing more ever happens.

Then you get put on a Smosh Pit video. It’s one of your favorite series, “Beopardy”. You adore trivia, having watched Jeopardy with your parents every night after dinner growing up. This is your second time on this series, and you had lost by only a few points the last time. You’re determined to win this episode, but they hadn’t revealed the topic yet, as they didn’t want any of you studying in advance. 

It’s not until you’re on set sitting between Ian, Olivia, and Shayne, that you learn Spencer is the host of the episode which is titled, “Are We Smarter Than Our Editor?” You’re feeling pretty confident in your editing knowledge, having learned a lot from Spencer over the last couple of months. Your only problem is the potential for getting distracted simply watching Spencer be on camera. 

It still is rare that he’s in this position, and from the start his confidence is, unfortunately, very attractive to you. Taking a deep breath, you center yourself to remain professional. 

It’s a fun shoot, one of your favorites so far. You win by 200 points, and celebrate your first victory. When the cameras stop you joke with your video costars for a little bit before getting up to make your way to the lunchroom. 

Before you can leave the studio Spencer comes over and says, “You did a great job today.”

Blushing at his compliment you reply, “Thank you. Guess sitting with you at lunch really paid off.” 

“Wow, I thought my company was the prize there but it looks like you’re using me for my editor knowledge.”

“Oh absolutely. I knew that would come in handy someday,” you say with a laugh. 

“Heading to lunch?” He asks. 

“I am indeed,” you answer. 

The two of you walk over together and grab some food before heading to your normal table. 

“Be right back,” Spencer says after putting down his lunch. A moment later he walks over again, carrying a drink for himself as well as a can of your favorite flavor of La Croix, which he places in front of you. It makes your heart race just a bit faster, seeing that he not only knows which drink you like the best, but made sure to bring you one. Not the whole table, just you.

Things like this have been happening for a few weeks, little interactions and favors that make you wonder if maybe Spencer has feelings for you the same way you do for him. After thanking him for the drink, you sit quietly, lost in your thoughts while conversation flows around you. The table you’re at is full, the rest of your friends discussing a new game they’ve been playing. 

But then you look up and see that Kimmy is being just as quiet as you. She’s looking at you, like she’s trying to solve a puzzle. It isn’t until she looks pointedly at you, then Spencer, that you realize she may have you figured out. 

Turning back to your food you ignore her eyes practically burning a hole in your head. After finishing lunch you head to the bathroom, choosing one that’s hidden in a back hallway. You thought that would mean no one would find you, but Kimmy is waiting for you when you’re done.

“Is something going on between you and Spencer?” she asks with no preamble, a large smile on her face.

“Nothing is happening,” you reply.

“But do you want it to?”

You don’t answer right away, not wanting anyone at work to know the truth. But this is Kimmy. One of your closest friends here. If there’s anyone at Smosh you can confide in, it’s her. 

“I may have the tiniest little crush on him. But that’s all! I’m not planning to act on that or anything. I don’t want it to get awkward at work if anything goes wrong.”

“And why do you think it’d go wrong?”

“Kimmy, I bet he doesn’t even feel the same way, so it’s silly to even worry about it,” you say. 

“Oh, he absolutely feels the same way. Boy has heart eyes every time he looks at you,” Kimmy replies. 

“He does not!”

“Okay, sure. Honestly I thought you were going to confess the two of you are dating in secret, not that you both have silly unrequited crushes on each other. I guess I could be wrong, but I’m certain that boy is head over heels for you.” 

Just as she says this, your phone buzzes with a ln incoming text message. It’s from Spencer and reads, “You disappeared after lunch, you okay?”

You can’t help the smile that forms on your face as you read the message, endeared by him checking up on you. When you glance up, Kimmy is giving you a knowing smirk. You jokingly say, “shut up,” before walking back to the tables. 

Spencer is standing there, looking around worriedly. He catches sight of you and relief spreads across his face. 

When you get close he says, “Everything alright?” His hand rests gently on your elbow, and you feel like your skin is burning from just that small point of contact. 

“Yea, I’m good. Just stopped to talk to Kimmy,” you reply, hoping no one notices your reaction to him touching your arm. Well, no one except Kimmy, who is giving you yet another knowing look from across the room. 

Luckily it’s time to get back to work, and you can focus on something other than your crush.

The next few weeks fly by. You’re all getting ready for the first live show that Smosh will be doing in years. It’s a big undertaking, on top of all the normal videos you need to shoot, and everyone is incredibly busy. 

And yet, you still get to see Spencer every day. At the very least you get lunch together, but he also often happens to be getting coffee in the kitchen at the same time as you, and you see each other during the rehearsals. Your heart skips a beat every time you get him to laugh, and the two of you share more eye contact than is strictly necessary.

All of this has you thinking that maybe Kimmy is right. Maybe Spencer really does like you as well. But still, it’s a tricky situation to date a coworker. And this job, as well as Spencer’s friendship, means too much to you to risk it. So your crush continues to remain a secret.

Finally, it’s time for the live show. Smosh Live: Under the Influence. Oh yea. That’s the other part of the live show. You’ll all be drinking alcohol during it. 

Well, not everyone. A few cast members will be staying sober. One of them being Spencer. And you’re grateful for that. And for the fact that he’s your designated driver for the night.

The live show is an absolute blast. You make sure not to go too crazy with the drinking. Not only are you technically at work, but everything you do is being live streamed to thousands of people. The last thing you want is to make a fool of yourself, so you take it easy with the alcohol.

Or well, you take it easy until the celebratory afterparty. Where you may go a tad overboard. Not too bad, not blacking out or anything, but definitely feeling a bit inebriated. Your inhibitions are definitely lowered. 

Which would be fine. Except Spencer is your ride home. Sober you should have realized this is a recipe for disaster. But now drunk you is in control. Alone. With Spencer. 

It’s after midnight when everyone finally starts to head home.

“You ready?” Spencer asks, handing you a glass of water which you happily take sips from. 

“Ready,” you reply once you’ve finished the glass. He takes it from you and places it on a nearby table before leading you out to the car, his arm wrapped around you protectively to keep you upright as you stumble slightly. You giggle as his hand wraps more firmly around your waist and you lean into him. 

He opens the passenger door for you, and you pout as you’re forced to separate from him. When he gets in the driver's seat and looks over he sees the big doe eyes you’re giving him. 

“What is it?” He asks. 

“Nothing,” you quickly answer, making no move to look away. Spencer knows something is going through your mind but decides not to push. He begins to drive, hand resting on the center console, and in your inebriated state that seems like a perfect invitation for you to slide your hand into his. You’re so focused on watching his fingers intertwine with yours that you miss the pleased smile on Spencer’s face. 

“Thank you,” you suddenly say. 

“What for?” Spencer asks. 

“For making sure I get home safe,” you reply. 

“I’ll always make sure you’re safe,” he answers. 

“You’re a really good person. I’m so happy we met. I’d be really sad if you weren’t my friend. Which is why I don’t want to mess it up.”

“What do you mean?” He asks. 

“You know, wanting too much and ruining what we have. I mean, I like you but it’s complicated.” You don’t even realize you’ve just confessed your feelings to Spencer, but he immediately notices, and begins to feel hopeful. He hopes that this isn’t just drunk ramblings, that you actually mean what you’re saying. 

“It doesn’t have to be complicated,” he says. 

“But it is! What if you don’t like me back?”

Spencer can’t help but laugh at how honest you’re being, like you don’t even realize you’re admitting this all to him. 

“Okay well first of all, don’t worry about that. Because I do like you back,” Spencer admits just as he parks the car in front of your building. 

“You do?” You ask, eyes finally meeting his. 

“I do. I have for a while now.” Spencer’s watches as your entire face lights up, eyes sparkling as you  smile the brightest smile he’s ever seen. 

“C’mon,” he continues. “Let’s get you inside.” 

You’ve barely opened your car door before Spencer is there, once again wrapping an arm around your waist. You’ve sobered up a bit, no longer stumbling at all, but you’d never deny yourself a chance to be close to him. He keeps his hand lightly on the small of your back while you fumble with your keys. 

He comes inside, needing to make sure you’re settled for the night. He’s been to your place a couple times before during group hang outs so he knows where to find what he needs. While you duck into your bathroom to change into pajamas and get ready for bed he fills a glass with water, placing that, a granola bar, and some pain relievers on your bedside table. He figures you’ll need all of that at some point between now and tomorrow morning. 

You're about to walk into your room, suddenly feeling exhausted and just wanting to climb into bed. But you nearly bump into Spencer as he walks out of the bedroom. 

“I left some things on your table,” he explains. 

“Thank you,” you shyly reply. 

“I should get going,” he says, but you don’t move to let him pass. Instead you ask, “Can you stay? Just a couple minutes until I fall asleep?” It’s bold of you to ask, but you always feel extra lonely after drinking, and you’d already been pretty bold in the car so you figure it couldn’t hurt. 

“Of course,” he replies and steps to the side so you can enter the bedroom. You get under the covers, laying on your side, and look at Spencer with expectant eyes. Understanding your wordless request, he sits on the edge of the bed. His hand rests on your hip before he starts to gently rub your back. 

You’re asleep in no time, comforted by Spencer’s presence. 

When you wake up the next morning you’re feeling better than you have any right to after a night of drinking. You eat the granola bar and take the pain medicine in order to relieve the mild headache before it can get any worse. As you finish the glass of water you reflect on the night before. 

Your eyes go wide as you realize what happened at the end of the night. You’d drunkenly confessed your feelings to Spencer. You’d asked him to stay with you until you fell asleep. You’re mortified! You actually told him you liked him. Were you insane?

But before you spiral too much, you remember his response to everything. How he admitted his feelings as well. How he stayed with you, gently lulling you to sleep. 

Could this be the answer to months of pining? A drunken confession?

You pull yourself out of bed and decide a shower is definitely needed. When you get out you see a few texts in a Smosh group chat, you’re friends planning to meet up at a diner. You text that you’re in, and a moment later your phone dings again, this time Spencer asking if you want a ride. You accept his offer, hoping the ride won’t be too awkward after everything that happened. 

You get ready and Spencer pulls up a little while later. 

“She lives!” Spencer shouts as you climb in the passenger seat. 

“Ha ha,” you answer dryly. “I’ll have you know I felt perfectly fine this morning.”

“Well then I am impressed,” he replies and you both laugh. 

Throughout the drive there, during the meal, and even the drive back home, neither you nor Spencer acknowledges the elephant in the room. But the suspense is killing you, so you once again invite Spencer inside when you get home. 

“I wanted to talk about what happened last night,” you say once you’re both seated at your kitchen table. “I didn’t mean to blurt everything out, but I guess I’m happy you know the truth.”

“So you meant it? You weren’t just saying that because you were drunk?” Spencer confirms. 

“I mean, I probably wouldn’t have said it without some liquid courage, but I did mean it. I’ve liked you since I met you. But I never thought you’d like me back,” you explain. 

“Of course I like you! How could I not? God, you’re so pretty, and funny, and kind. You’re like, the coolest person. So yea, I’ve liked you the whole time too.”

You both sit quietly for a minute, absorbing this information. 

“What happens now?” You finally ask. 

“Well now I can ask you on a date without worrying about you rejecting me,” he answers. 

You blush and duck your head, bashful at this statement. But before you can hide too long, he gently lifts your chin so you’re looking at him again.

“Y/N, will you go out to dinner with me?” he asks.

“Spencer, I would love to,” you reply. 

The two of you can’t help but start giggling like two high schoolers that just decided to go to homecoming together. You realize that this could be your future. Lots of smiles, and laughs, and time spent enjoying one another’s company. 

You know it’s too soon to think about forever, but when Spencer suggests a round of Mario Kart to ease the tension, it’s clear that there’s something good between the two of you. And you can’t wait to see how it all unfolds.

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AN: Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it! I have 5 more Spencer fics planned at the moment, but feel free to send in requests!