#it was all very... stuff i was already tired of seeing on tumblr and i didn't think i'd get anything new out of
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okay given how fucking weird and rapid-fire everything is (already, has been for ages) and to remind myself too: We Need To Learn To Fact Check.
i am talking about anything we see about trumps antics and I am talking about international news and I am talking about local news and I am talking about nearly everything in our lives. it is tiring, and takes more effort. but i think this is the only way we get thru the world right now, is by checking what we share however we can. it won't guarantee we are sharing only accurate info, but it DOES help us focus on sharing more accurate stuff and not buying into mis and disinfo.
Context/why i know this: im an academic librarian. I teach classes and do research on misinformation and media literacy among other topics, and i teach about authority of information and finding and evaluating info all the time. when I teach people to evaluate information i use Mike Caulfield's SIFT method, which is great and adaptable, and consists of these four moves:
STOP. this is the most important one. it just means: take two seconds before you click reblog or share smth. ask yourself: what is my emotional reaction to this content? what does it want me to do with this post or information?
do I know this is true - bc I've already checked into it before or I know something related to it that corroborates it - or am I far enough removed from the situation that I don't really know? for ex: I know gazans fundraise on tumblr bc i have tunblr, and that conditions in gaza are awful bc of both user posts and news coverage I've seen. I don't have tiktok or see much from it that isnt reposted, so I paused more before sharing that last post bc im less aware of the cjrcumstances.
INVESTIGATE THE SOURCE. where did this come from and do I know that source of information? can i identify the author not just the website it was shared from? what position is this person in to know what's going on? they might have expertise, education, a job, they might also just be in a place where things are happening (ukraine, gaza, los angeles, etc) or have access to a place where things are happening (tiktok, for ex).
FIND ADDITIONAL COVERAGE. if this is the only place you've heard about an event or statement, look and see if there are others reporting on it. sometimes you are looking for broad coverage (lots and lots of reporters and civilians have reported on the conditions in Gaza independently) and sometimes for very specific coverage (i wanted to see more than one screenshot of the TikTok ban msg before I believed it was real), but what you really want is to see if others are talking about and reporting on something.
this is called lateral reading btw and it's a really critical piece of fact checking.
TRACE CLAIMS TO THEIR SOURCE. who was the first to say this? where did they say it? was it misinterpreted along the way? the internet is a giant game of telephone and messages get distorted. this one is particularly important if you're not finding additional coverage AND/OR if the coverage is all weirdly samey.
highly specific example here: in 2020 there was a brief time when ppl were saying that ibuprofen was dangerous for covid and could heighten your risk. i am ibuprofens georg and I was on it 2x/day high dose at the time, so this could be a problem for me. so I started citations tracing - following citations and references and news posts and academic preprints. and finally found a brief and uncited Twitter post from a French health minister that appeared to be the original source, and along the way I found NO other corroborating info that wasn't citing that specific quote in the end. and thus. I took my ibuprofen.
this part takes time and effort more than anything else, but it's also often illuminating. I dont always go all the way to TRACE. but I have that move in my pocket for when I need to. it is very similar to a wikipedia rabbit hole where you start somewhere and end somewhere very different - but if you looked at your browser history you'd see all the pages you clicked to get there.
thats SIFT! you don't have to do each move for every post u see. if you take anything as a habit, start from the top and just STOP for a second before you share or repeat something wild. ask yourself about it a little. this is what i consider the most vital step, and it makes it easier to do the others in time.
we can't know everything. we will sometimes share misinformation by accident. we will sometimes share malicious disinformation by accident too. but I think we owe it to ourselves to try and build these habits, and it makes it a little harder for the people in power to convince us of whatever they want this week. it makes us more skeptical and more informed. these are always relevant skills and they're more and more important every day.
#this has been media literacy w samwise armorgoblin#librarianblogging#media literacy#information literacy
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characters: lets live together
people on tumblr: this of course means theyre canonically having sex, no what are you talking about i dont do headcanons my blog is all stuff based on canon
#yes i could very well just bloody forget about it and move on but i dont feel like it#it was a post i saw ages ago one of those random things that comes back to irritate you#oh look 3:36 and i still havent started that bloody essay#i mean all im doing is vauging which is perfectly find im not bothering the person who posted it or anything#like i was but im not now cause i made a fake apology then felt bad about nit sticking with it when i got a reply#wtf#i mean i do think im better off not doing that now cause it was sort of rubbish#now if i just completely forgot about all of this and went and got an actual life how much better#it wasnt about this specific thing btw just like general boredom and stuff obviously im not sending hate over something this petty#i mean it actually started with a reply to an anon ask i sent where i made an effort to be polite even though i already found those opinion#really annoying and thr reply was slightly rude so i was ruder back and then sent an even ruder one#then a couple of months later i was bored and for some reason i really dont know decided the best entertainment was sending random asks the#anyway another update its 3:43 and i still havent started that essay#not doing it the first time is why ive got to redo it#i applied for am extension cause i had 2 same day and i couldnt make myselflike i lyed and said mental health issues only dont actually kno#if i really was lying and just lazy or if i actually had mental health issues then during thd extension i got really bad toothache and coul#nt do anything not even sleep and it lasted for almost two days and i did one but i was too lazy and tired i couldnt eveb be bothered to#apply for special consideration even though i wouldve got it cause it meant getting a doctors note and its so much effort abd the waiting#lists are fucking ridiculous and i might not have got it and when i called about the toothache they said fuck off and see a dentist which#you have to pay for and also probably has a waiting list so i was just like fuck off ill just redo it even though it fucks some score or#other up i dont remember what it all means i better not bloody lose any money over this fucking hell#and my batterys only 4% now#i should get an award for how off topic can you get on a tumblr post#also how boring#and how much i repreat stuff
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i still keep getting recommended posts about the james somerton debacle (unsurprising) and i swear to god, at this point i've spent more time trying to remember what my reaction was to watching his yoi video a while back while half-sleep deprived or smth than i a) spent watching the video and b) spent thinking about any other creator i watched one mid video from and ignored after
#at least i remember specifically deciding that blaire trianglehead was too slow paced and dull to keep listening to after about 3 vids#but also the subjects were really... ghoulish borderline true crime like the leggings scam vid that was 1/3 botched surgery talk#at least in my memory. and her dispassionately talking about it rather than sticking to the subject at hand and having little opinion#put me right off my lunch and i was done#somerton was allll up in my recs just before the bomb dropped and i was half keeping an eye out for a new vid about a subject i cared about#but it was literally all stuff i'm sick to death of. didn't want to hear about evil gays or vampires or if barbie is camp#it was all very... stuff i was already tired of seeing on tumblr and i didn't think i'd get anything new out of#but i was still keeping him in mind because i thought he was a type of person that had little presence in the video essay scene#lol in retrospect#but i do actually try to keep an eye out for creators with different backgrounds. esp black creators. and accept that i might disagree a bi#or find parts of their perspective a little uncomfortable or off-putting. so i probably would have forgiven some of the misogyny tbh#not that it's something that like. idk i should do to punish myself. it's not like there isn't a lot of microaggressions from women#but the fact that it was proven that so many of those were trumped up for show was. honestly a huge betrayal?#people are genuinely cruel to marginalized creators and pretending that it's worse than it is and flopping for sympathy is so galling#it's really easy to be like 'oh i would have never been taken in' just because there was already something keeping me at arms length#but i know that isn't true. i'm a freakin easy mark! you don't even want to know how many podcast/youtube sponsorships i've tried#and also sometimes i find something initially off-putting about a youtuber and later get into them more and find them charming#i genuinely don't think that i have unimpeachable first impressions and sometimes i test them later to see if they still hold
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Taking Care of You
Pairing: Mike Schmidt x babysitter!reader
Warnings: unprotected sex, oral sex (M receiving), breeding kink, praise kink, Fem!reader. Very minor mentions of injury & blood.
Description: He had never considered himself too fond of domestic life until you came into his house and made it feel like home.
A/N: crossposted on my Ao3 and Tumblr.
3.7k words
18+ content! Minors and ageless blogs dni!
You remember the first time you came over to babysit for Mike all too clearly. You remember the way your eyes went wide when the door opened, and how your jaw nearly dropped to the floor. More importantly, you remember thinking that Mike Schmidt was far too hot for his own good, a clear image in your mind of how he had greeted you with tired eyes, messy hair, and a hand gripping the doorframe.
"Mr. Schmidt," you had blurted, ignorant to how his nose scrunched at the words leaving your mouth, "It's nice toâ"
"Don't tell me I look that old?" His tired expression tried a smile, and you found yourself standing there, unable to formulate a proper response as you were already convinced you messed up the job before you even started. "Just Mike is fine.â
Back then, the only thing you knew about him was that he was hot, overworked, and clearly exhausted. So you did your best to make his life easier, even if those things were small, like cleaning all the dishes before he came home, tidying up all the clutter left behind on the table and kitchen counter. It wasnât much, but you figured he could use whatever help he could get. He came home the first night, too tired to even notice before collapsing on the couch. Suppressing a giggle, you threw a blanket over his sleeping form, lingering a moment longer than you should have just to observe his face. Even in his sleep, you werenât sure you could find even an ounce of peace in his expression.
â
Mike remembers the first week of your babysitting, when he returned home at some ungodly hour that Friday. While most babysitters in the past opted to lay on the couch, sleeping or watching TV, he had discovered that you preferred to be a bit more proactive. That night, in particular, he recalled your humming in the kitchen, rinsing the dishes before placing them in the dishwasher.
A strange feeling filled his chest at the sight, the smell of dinner still lingering and the radio playing some old song from his childhood. It was a feeling he shouldn't have been feeling towards the babysitter looking after his little sister. You had jumped when the floorboard creaked beneath himself shifting weight, still shy and jittery around him at the time.
âI didnât see you come in,â your voice is still shaken from the scare. You turned to the oven, âOh! I kept the food warm, in case you wanted some. Are you hungry?â
âNo, no, Iâm fine,â he said, blinking a bit to shake the thoughts from his head, âAh, you donât have to do all this, you know. The cooking and cleaning stuff.â
âI donât mind. Itâs not like I have anything else to do,â you returned your gaze to the dishes in the sink, âBesides, you work hard. Itâs the least I can do. Just let me take care of it.â
Just let me take care of it.
A phrase he hadnât yet forgotten, either. When was the last time anyone had taken care of anything for him? Heâd taken on the role of being Abbyâs caretaker the moment his parents were out of the picture. He had made countless sacrifices, dropping out of school to work full-time, losing his social life. His old friends preferring to go out partying rather than hang out with the guy who has a kid sister and a full-time job. Every day was work, only to mess up at work. Then go home, stress over a dirty home. Drive Abby to school, stress over her education and development.
He didnât have it within himself to deny you, not when you were so kind and helpful. Even if the guilt ate away at him, reminding him how he couldnât even afford to pay you close to what you deserved.
His eyes wandered to an image on the counter. There was himself, a familiar stickman with brown hair. There was Abby, of course, given the height difference. And then there was another figure, the hair undeniably similar to yours. All three figures were holding hands together inside a square home.
âWhatâs this?â He picked it up.
âAbby told me itâs us,â you had laughed, placing a dish in the dishwasher. âCute, right?â
There was a thumping in his chest as he looked at you, before looking back down at the paper. All he could manage was a smile as he pinned it to the fridge.
You soon felt his presence at your side, his hand picking up another dish while you rinsed yours.
âLet me help with that,â he said.
â
Youâve fallen into a routine. Every day, when he returns home, he is met with the same thing. You, in the kitchen, humming. You, greeting him with a smile. You, sitting down to eat with him. You, always asking him about his day even though you know by now that he has nothing interesting to say. He prefers to hear you talk instead, to listen to you ramble about your shitty college professors and annoying roommates. He likes it like this. To be able to pretend that heâs not some deadbeat who canât hold down a job to save his life or some traumatized freak haunted by the memories of his dead brother and parents. With you, he gets to pretend like heâs normal.
But, of course, just because he can pretend things are normal, doesnât mean they are. Reality soon hits him when heâs sitting in his bossâs office, asking Mike for his badge and ID. It hits him when heâs driving home, remembering how he beat an innocent man, his knuckles still bloody as he grips the steering wheel tight. He walks through the front door, hearing you greet him from the kitchen, a sound that would have been music to his ears any other day.
âMike?â
He doesnât have the energy to reply. No, all he can do is walk over to the chair in the living room, sinking into it with a sigh. He loosens his tie and closes his eyes, trying to ignore the sound of dishes clattering in the sink followed by your footsteps against the hardwood floor.
âHey, you okay?â Your voice is soft and gentle. His eyes shoot open when he feels your even softer touch against his forehead, laying the back of your palm flat. âYouâre not sick, are you?â
In all the time youâve been babysitting, neither of you had done so much as touch each other at all. The few times he could remember was how your fingers brushed when you reached for the same dish in the sink or the innocent hand you placed on his shoulder that one time you laughed so hard you couldnât hold yourself up. He had always made sure to keep his hands firmly placed in his pockets or at his side. Now, you were touching his face, and he thinks thatâs the first time anyone has touched him like that in years.
âDonât worry about me.â He pleads, his body betraying his words when he leans into your touch, your hand drifting to caress his cheek, âYou donât have to.â
You ignore him, and your eyes scan over his form, before landing on his bloodied knuckles. A gasp escapes you, followed by the scolding of his name. He hears you stumble towards the bathroom, rummaging through whatever you can find and returning with a washcloth and disinfectant. You kneel beside him, cleaning the dried blood from his wounds and he winced from the sting of the alcohol.
âI know I donât have to,â you finally break the silence. âI worry because I care.â
âWhy?â
You avert your gaze.
âI just do.â
âThatâs not a good enough answer.â He presses. Thereâs another pause.
âBecause this feels like home.â
The answer is enough to render both of you silent, you out of humiliation, and him out of shock because he hadnât realized you thought the same way.
You finish wiping the last bit of dried blood from his knuckles and thereâs a lingering feeling left on his skin, where your fingers held his hands. Soft. Familiar. Youâre still kneeling in front of him, but youâre wearing an expression he hadnât seen since the first week he met you. Itâs that look of shyness, the way you used to squirm under his gaze or shrink your presence out of fear of overstepping a boundary.
âMike?â
âYeah?
âLet me take care of you. Please?â
He knows itâs wrong. He knows that âmessing around with the babysitterâ has never been a good idea in the history of ever, but when he sees you gazing up at him like that, sitting on your knees between his legs, your eyes wide like that. Well, what the fuck else is he supposed to do?
The chair isnât too high from the floor, so he easily finds himself at somewhat your level when he leans forward, his hand lifting your chin to look him in the eye. He pauses, analyzing your face just for a moment. Your lips are parted, so prettily, and your eyes are filled with a look of lust and desperation.
âPlease,â you repeat, this time in a whisper.
Any semblance of self-restraint he had before was all lost the moment his lips met yours. He hadnât realized just how hungry he was until he got a taste, a groan escaping his throat when he feels your tongue in his mouth. And you, you are so pliant. So eager to please. Still timid, hands hesitant as they rested on his knees, but so willing to let him handle you however he pleases, moaning when he tugs on your hair, whimpering when his hands grope your chest through your shirt.
âQuiet,â he mutters between kisses. You feel him pull away, the ghost of his lips at your ear, âwe gotta be quiet, yeah?â
You nod, and he kisses your forehead, a tender change from his rough kisses shared only moments prior. He looks down at you, a flustered mess, but knows he must look the same. He couldnât even remember the last time he let himself indulge like this. He feels your hand slither up his thigh, fumbling with his belt, groaning when you feel him through his jeans.
âYouâve had a long day, havenât you?â You ask, looking up at him through your lashes as your hand dips into his boxers.
âYou have no idea,â he says, his hand caressing the side of your face, making circles with his thumb against your cheek. He can feel your skin heat up under his touch. Your hand wraps around his hardening cock, and he has to stop himself from bucking into you. Youâre just so gentle and sweet and he knows youâd let him take his frustration out but he just cannot allow himself to do that just yetâ not without a little guilt.
âThen talk to me.â
âGot, ah, fired,â he chokes out, feeling your thumb swipe over his tip, gathering his pre-cum and helping you stroke up and down with more ease. âWas my fault, too.â
âYou started a fight, didnât you?â
âSomething like that.â
He looks down at you, his cock now fully hard in your hand. He canât hold but admire the sight, how you hungrily stare at him, or how you press your thighs together to relieve yourself of your own desires. He feels his breathing become heavier with each passing stroke of your hand on his dick, and he forces himself to look away, his hand that had previously been caressing the side of your head now digging his fingers into the back of your scalp.
âI donât know what Iâm going to do now,â he leans his head back, in an attempt to stop himself from busting in your hand before youâve even done anything. He swears heâs not usually this sensitive, but the fact that itâs been so long, and the fact that itâs you, had him feeling like he was a teenager getting his first handjob all over again. He tries not to think about it. âIâm already behind on bills. I donât think I can even pay you. Probably wonât even get another fucking job after what I did.â
âYou donât need to pay me.â
âYouâve got to stop saying shit like that,â he shakes his head, almost in disbelief. He looks down at you again, and youâre pressing your lips to kiss the underside of his dick, then kissing his tip. He shudders. âYouâre too good for this. For me.â
Heâs about to continue, but your lips wrap around him and he canât think of anything. Curse words slip from his lips, feeling your tongue work around him, your hot mouth taking him. He still has his hand on the back of your head, tempting him to force your head down, but heâs more curious about whether youâd try to take him all yourselfâ which you do. He feels your throat contract around him as you try to push yourself down his cock, determined to take it all. Sometimes, you really were that predictable. Sure, you were a timid little thing, but you were equally if not more stubborn. He grips the back of your head to pull you off, a cough rising to your throat as you catch your breath and he smiles lazily.
Your quick to take him back in your mouth, and he cherishes the feeling of his cock hitting the back of your throat, and your hands that reached for the base of him to stroke whatever you couldnât take. He gives an experimental thrust and heâs in bliss when he hears you moan around him. And as much as he wishes he could do this forever, watching you take him in your mouth, he knows his own limits and he knows he wonât last any longer. Besides, heâs neglected your needs for far too long.
He pulls you off of his cock finally, tears stinging the corners of your eyes, your lips puffy from their earlier actions. Then, heâs lifting you to the couch, hovering over your form as your back hits the cushions. Mike is thankful that you chose to wear a skirt tonight because with your legs spread like this, he gets a full view of your white cotton underwear, as well as the wet patch your arousal has created. He brings his hand down between your legs, feeling you through the fabric. He can hear your breath hitch and he watches you bite down on your lower lip to suppress your noises. And as much as he wants to tell you not to, he is reminded by the fact that you are both doing this in the living room, and the last thing he wants to do is traumatize his little sister, who is sleeping a few doors down the hallway.
âDidnât know you wanted me this bad,â he whispers, finally slipping his hand past the fabric barrier to gather your slick at his fingers and rub your clit with his thumb, his other fingers prodding at your hole but not yet entering.
âWanted you for so long,â you admit, sucking in a breath when you feel his thumb circle around your clit again. âYouâre really fucking hot.â
âYeah?â
Two of his fingers finally sink into you and youâre gripping the fabric of his uniform at his shoulders. Rough, long and so much bigger than your ownâ you have to grit your teeth even harder to stop any sinful noises from escaping you.
âAlways thought you were real pretty, too.â He continues, âYouâre prettier right now, though.â
He continues to pump his fingers in and out of you, the wet sounds making you burn up in embarrassment. Heâs obsessed with the way your eyes roll back, how your pretty lashes flutter open and closed, and how your hips buck to meet his rhythm.
âMore, please,â you finally let out, your eyes going down to his cock, which was still very much hard. âNeed you inside.â
You whimper at the emptiness you feel when his fingers leave, but quickly forget about it the moment your panties are removed and you feel his cock rub against your cunt, the tip resting at your entrance. You expect to feel him push in, only to see that he has paused.
âI donât have any condoms,â he says, a pained look on his face. He had no reason to keep any around any more, not since providing for Abby had become his number one priority. He mentally kicked himself for it now.
âMike,â you whine, trying to roll your hips up, but his hands remained firm against you, keeping you down. âI donât care. Just pull out or something.â
You feel like a pathetic idiot for saying it, and he feels even more of one for considering it at all. All he can manage is a sigh. Heâd already crossed so many lines tonight that he shouldnât have. What difference would crossing one more be?
He hesitates before pushing in, but once he feels your tight walls around the head of his dick he canât find it within himself to have any regrets. Youâre so tight and warm and wet and he loves the way you stretch around him, gasping with every inch he gives you. He pauses when heâs buried at the hilt, mentally trying to cool himself down because the fact that heâs fucking you raw and youâre taking him so well is driving him mad.
âSo good,â he coos, his hand on your face, thumb on your lower lip, âso fucking good.â
He pulls away until heâs nearly out again before thrusting into you fully, and he has to slam his hand over your mouth to stop the moan that would have escaped you. He continues to fuck you like this, slowly, and deeply, before itâs not enough, and he finds himself taking you faster, harder, wanting to see how much you were willing to take.
You feel every inch of him inside you, and you canât help but clench around him every time the tip of his cock hits the spot inside you that you canât reach with your own fingers. You feel so full and itâs everything and more that youâve needed for so long.
He pushes up your shirt, revealing your cleavage. Your breasts are still covered by your bra, but he pinches your nipples through the lacy fabric anyway, content when he hears you make a sound, muffled by his other hand which remains on your mouth.
He can tell youâre close from the telltale sign of your pussy clenching harder, and how you start to freeze up, too fucked out to do anything else. He, too, starts to feel himself approaching his limit but knows he has to hold out long enough to let you reach your high first. He finally removes his hand from your mouth and uses it to rub your clit.
âSuch a good girl,â he breathes.
âIâll always be good for you,â you keep your voice a whisper, âAlways waiting for you when you come home.â
Your words ignite a desire within him he never realizes he had. He had never considered himself too fond of domestic life until you came into his house and made it feel like home. Now, as heâs fucking you, the only thing he can think about is how deeply he wants to cum inside you, over and over again until he gives you another kid to take care of. He doesnât care if he canât afford it. Heâll pick up as many jobs as he can get just to take care of you.
He feels your back arch and your walls clench around him, immediately going to kiss you to swallow your cries. He ruts into you, over and over again and though thereâs a sinful voice in the back of his head telling him to fill you up until heâs dripping out of you, he knows he should stay true to his promise to pull out. That is, until you tell him otherwise.
âYou can do it inside,â you choke out, still fucked out from your orgasm, âI donât mindââ
Before you can finish your sentence his hips come to a stop and heâs finishing inside you, as deep as he possibly can, as if to not waste a single drop. When he finally pulls out, he canât help but watch in awe as his seed drips from your cunt down to your ass, ruining the couch cushions beneath you both. He tries not the think about the consequences that will bring. Instead, heâs pulling you close, catching his breath while laying his head against your stomach. Moments later, he feels your hand running your fingers through his hair and he sighs, leaning into your warmth.
âI donât want you to be Abbyâs babysitter anymore,â he starts, his voice hoarse and worn out. He can feel you tense up when he says it, before immediately continuing, âI want you to be my girlfriend.â
He hears you laugh.
âDoes that mean I wonât get paid anymore?â
âIâll repay you in other ways,â he flashes you a suggestive smile, earning him a snort and a flick on his forehead. Still, the guilt gnaws at him from within. âSeriously, though. I will. Iâll take care of you, too.â
He doesnât care what job he picks up next. Heâll take any job in the world, so long as it means he can provide for you and Abby.
â
You wake up the next morning, the scent of pinewood and campfire surrounding you. You donât remember exactly how, but you remember, after being fucked mercilessly, being carried to his room, cleaned up, and falling asleep in Mikeâs bed. Now, you find the place next to you empty but can observe Mike standing at the door, speaking in a hushed voice while holding back the door.
You stand on shaky legs, still wobbly from your earlier affairs, approaching the argument.
âAbby, go away!â
âNo! Let meââ
âWhatâs all this?â You interject.
Mike loses his grip on the door and Abby opens it wide. Her arms are crossed, adorning a frown while Mike is bringing his hands to his face.
âAbby, I can explainââ
âWhy didnât you tell me you guys were having a sleepover?â She fumes, âWe could have built a pillow fort!â
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When you think about it, the success (relatively speaking) of What Manner of Man is kind of miraculous. I have no social media presence outside of Tumblr (not for lack of trying! I just utterly do not have the knack,) no connections, and I've already given the book away for free. I simply have not written this book in a way that gets me anywhere with BookTok, Bookstagram, the Facebook communities of Kindle Unlimited readers - any of the online indie publishing infrastructure.
And yet itâs been wonderful! In some ways, writing this book has gone indescribably better than I ever dreamed it could. Every day I'm floored by the number of people whoâve read What Manner of Man and cared enough to help it along. The little community of friends and readers this story has gathered around it is one of the best experiences Iâve ever had creatively.
Now that the book is about to be irrevocably published, though, Iâve become wracked with doubts. What if itâs still not enough? What if all the people whoâve read and enjoyed the free version of the novel vanish tomorrow in a puff of smoke, and I have to start again from scratch with a more conventional publishing model? What if my subject matter is just too transgressive/queer/kinky/blasphemous and I have to pivot to writing something thatâs less of all of those things? What if I run headlong into the woods and get torn apart by coyotes? Etc.
Listen, Iâm going to be so real with you guys right now. I hate all ads with a deep, personal hatred, and I loathe and despise writing self-promo stuff. Itâs by far the worst part of this job. But this is a very weird, risky thing Iâve done, and I need to make an appeal to Tumblr for help. For this to work - for this risk to pay off -Â I basically need enough people to 1. buy the e-book and 2. leave reviews on Amazon and Goodreads within a certain timeframe to catch the favor of the evil god known as The Algorithm. If that happens, I might be able to sell enough copies to enable me to continue doing this.
Without further ado, therefore - if:
You're tired of being sold safe, sexless, sanitized, advertiser-friendly queerness in storiesÂ
You want more art that embraces uncompromisingly queer, transgressive desire
You view - now, more than ever, in this moment of religious backlash towards all manner of sexual expression - sexual freedom as inseparable from queer liberation
(And you want to see that explored in metaphor via a vampire seducing a priest)
Then may I present... ⨠What Manner of Man â¨
(Now with a beautiful cover by @beastliness!)
You can read the draft version for free here, and, if you enjoy it, acquire the completed version from your preferred retailer or DRM-free on my itchio store.
If you've made it to the end, thank you for reading all that đ (and thank you in advance if you decide to share it!)
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ăđ These panels are censored, you can go to the last of the post to find out where to see them!
A little historical info to better understand:
âĄâĄâĄâĄâĄ!!! I really feel happy and overcome with these panels, I was thinking a lot about how to make them since there were several obstacles: I had never drawn something NSFW before as it should be đ
I never got that far so to speak, there was always a line that prevented me from taking that step, since it is not the same to draw some small scene where you only see something specific to a whole pose as such and all that implies. But after many ideas and turns I managed to take that step (maybe small for some but for me it was like reaching the moon đ) and the most important and most feared was that the essence of the drawings and the style would be lost but I could keep it well and make it coexist âĄ.
Note: as for the text accompanying the panels I want to say that it's not my best work as a narrator hahaha I don't write anything since I was about fifteen and it was my era of fanfics and stuff, so I feel its very basic and empty! đ
âĽ!
Now, let's talk a bit about the panels! Well, as we all knew this moment was coming, it was no surprise -3- Ryomen really had to be patient to get what he had been thinking for a while, but he didn't want it to be something random as it could be with any woman he wanted, he was really curious to see how Aurora could look like with the full appearance of a lady of the Heian era and when he saw her, he just couldn't resist. One thing will be clear: Aurora won't wear black teeth again, there will be no way to paint her teeth again without someone losing a limb. As for her eyebrows: she's really mad about that, but I'll let it go.
And to close this post I come with a novelty (I've been thinking about this for days) now we are going to be able to have these drawings completely uncensored on patreon.
I'm not going to lie, using more than two social networks for me is already a lot đĽ if it were up to me I would only post everything in one place but we know how the rules are and we have to respect them, if just by showing a nipple (which is a pixel đ ) they almost censored me on Instagram I knew this would be difficult and Tumblr is not lagging behind, while there are things that it lets pass there are others that it doesn't and it's not nice to have to make such complex drawings so that the AI doesn't detect them as đ since there comes a certain point that you get tired too and it loses the grace.
My patreon will be the place for all my works đ without any censorship already, you are going to be able to enjoy both public and private content depending on the type of work âĄ. I think also for me it's an incentive to be able to start letting go more of my ideas and continue with everything I want to do :)
To say goodbye first I want to always thank you for all the support you give me and all your messages đ¤ and second to warn you that this CAP of Ren will be in patreon already published privately but all the other censored drawings are public for you to see and enjoy them as they should â
Here are the publications that I censored and that you can now see, there are not many at the moment x'D
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uhh hello!! sorry if this is a tall order LOL but I wanna ask, do you have any narilamb fanfic recs? :D I already read yours and I really like bamsaraâs and Iâm waiting for epicaandkâs to update (that one is my fav ever <3) but idk what to read now lol
Tall order?? Naaaaah, I'm always happy to give recs. Oh boy, I'm gonna go in reverse chronological order.
If you've read all of my narilamb fics (have you seriously? I'm impressed, that's probably well over half the 150k+ I've written for this damn fandom. Also, to anyone seeing this from a reblog, my stuff is over at onethirdofimpossible!) then here we go!
You already mentioned it, but The Rehabilitation of Death is excellent so far! This one is by @bamsara who is new to the CotL fandom but apparently not new to fanfic writing; they have a really popular FNAF fic and I assume the well-deserved attention this fic's been getting is a byproduct of the popularity they've already gotten in other fandoms. :D Welcome, bamsara! Many of the fic writers in this fandom are friends with each other already, but we don't bite if you wanna say hi.
Feel No Evil and Language Barrier, both by @payasita. I always love how payasita portrays this duo (in both digital art and writing), with so much sass and repressed loneliness, knowing they're stuck together for eternity and making the best of it. (And maybe falling in love, depending on how dense Narinder keeps being.) What makes these come alive for me is how well thought out the setting is outside the Lamb and Narinder. The descriptions and weight of emotions really pop here.
LITERALLY ANYTHING written by pavi / @i-eat-deodorant. Depending on how spicy you want your fics to be he has even more here. Character analysis, diction, pacing, etc. are consistently 10/10. Top-quality banter between a sassy Lamb and tired old man Narinder. We constantly bounce ideas off each other and inspire each other a lot but I promise I'm not hyping him up just because he's my friend oh my god please just go bless your eyes.
It Was For You, O Death by blueberry-muffin-massacre (if they have a tumblr, let me know so I can tag!). An intriguing alternative ending to the final battle wherein the Lamb chooses a secret third option by refusing to give up the Red Crown and still observing Narinder as the God of Death. So many details are so well thought out and duality their relationship is nicely characterized-- both genuine care for each other and also quite unhealthy. A fine line treaded well!
Confessional by jusmove (again, lmk if they have a tumblr). Been a while since I've read it, but I love how the Lamb chips at Narinder's very carefully built emotional walls. Their personalities are very well fleshed out here, especially Narinder's cognitive dissonance at being able to process love.
Confession by @thewitchoftheweed. I didn't expect a part two to this one, but my god I was so thrilled when it did update. Narinder and Lamb with their unique and parallel loneliness and their fucked-up sense of everything. Their relationship is very rocky here, and I love how they navigate it: with tension and eventual, pained acceptance. Mind the rating.
Of Character Development and Being Dense by @calliecature. A short and sweet narilamb classic. They're both mutually pining and one of them is too emotionally repressed to realize it. Guess who.
Not An Offering, But a Gift by @checkplzjuliet. Small confession fic. I especially love how Narinder's descriptions twist the knife of his situation here, and how Lambert is a total foil for him! There are a lot of good things happening in such a short span, which is impressive.
Also, if you think you've read all my narilamb fics... I do have a secret one out there too. Just so you know.
Happy reading!
I'm already friends with many of the people here, but if any of the writers I've tagged have been kinda wanting to reach out for a while but feel a little anxious... Don't be. I've made my best friends in this fandom by literally just waiting for some of my readers to get over whatever assumption they have that I'm cool and say hi. Or being the more confident one first.
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Hello again! If possible, can I request a reader x Lycaon where the reader has to deal with him being openly flirted with all the time. I've seen this happen in game so much and it makes me wheeze. đđ
Thank you again for your time! I truly love reading everything you have written! It's so cool to see how much you have been putting out!!!
Oh I never noticed, but like seriously who wouldn't flirt with him, He's so gorgeous <3 Also thank you so much love <3 I can't believe I posted like over 60 posts already and I feel like I just started yesterday TwT I appreciate the respect and the love everyone has been giving me <3 I think writing my stuff on tumblr was the best choice I ever made at this point
Pairings -> Von Lycaon x Reader
Warnings -> Nothing just Lycaon getting flirted at
Note -> Reader getting jealous because some random girls flirting with their boyfriend but Lycaon comforts his partner, reminding them that he's theirs
Genre -> Fluff
Von Lycaon
This was never a new thing that had happened today, today was a perfect day as you forced Lycaon to get out of the mansion for a bit
But he insisted that he should clean and do his work but you didn't let him as you both were now walking around the park, it wasn't that far from the mansion but you also wanted to go to Lumina square to shop a little
Lycaon agreed as he needed a few things anyways so you both agreed. You both were now crowded with beautiful views as well as building, hearing the chatter of people and their footsteps
Look like it was quite busy today, but that wasn't going to stop you from getting your things you wanted
"Um excuse me" You heard a girl's voice behind you and Lycaon, It had seemed that she was only looking at Lycaon, while she ignored you
Your eyebrows furrowed, Lycaon looked confused. "Yes, young lady" He spoke, which made the girl smiled
"I just wanted to say that you look gorgeous and I was wondering if you wanted to hang out?" The girl insisted but was too dumb to realized that Lycaon had a partner already
"Excuse me for my rudeness but I do not plan on hanging out with a stranger" Lycaon spoke as he cleared his throat
"But we don't have to be strangers anymore~ We can become close if you like" She flirted
Okay that was enough, you stepped in just before Lycaon was about to speak
"Listen here, Lady. This wolf Is my boyfriends, and If you can't see that, Than you need to get glasses. Leave us only. Thank you" You then rolled your eyes as you dragged Lycaon with you
Hearing the girl groaned as she stomped away, "Name, That's wasn't very nice-" Lycaonw as cut off
"Ah uh, nope. No one flirts with my man, not even in front of me" You spoke
Looks like you were quite passionate to have Lycaon all to yourself huh?
But he wasn't complaining
This is not proof read because I'm tired
-A<3
#zenless zone zero#zzz#zenlesszonezero#zenless zone zero x reader#von lycaon#von lycaon x reader#zzz von lycaon#zzz lycaon
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hi
i just wanted to come on here and talk about my experience with spirituality. warning: longggg post ahead.
basically ive been in the spiritual community for YEARS now. ive had existential crisis since the age of 11 and ive gone through many phases of many different spiritual trends. from law of attraction, to witchcraft, to religious devotion, to law of assumption and now finally non dualism. i read books, meditated for hours and hours, talked to spiritual ppl from all walks of life and watched all the episodes of ganga upanishad (a show i still highly recommend, you can watch on youtube). all this childhood trauma and mental illness made me crave for sweet relief. but nothing really made sense until law of assumption. i thought that that would be it yk. i thought i was done searching but i think that was when i was searching for things the most. i do know i have it in my 4d, when will i see it? i thought i would get all my desires but did not meet success. and then the non dualism trend began and i hopped onto it like pretty much everyone else. i was bewildered at the stuff teachers kept saying. what do you mean everything's an illusion? there's no way that's true. my very real surroundings are causing me VERY real pain and suffering. oh no no there must be a deeper meaning behind all this. and so i read all the books in 4dbarbies drive, but nothing clicked. yes it made sense intellectually, but i didnt want to believe it bc where is the materialisation satisfaction here? also i felt none of the euphoria that was supposed to come with self realisation. which means i must not be a realised being. and then i cried and cried and cried, isolated myself, literally stopped going to school and just lay in bed all day. but ofc, i continued to read the tumblr posts like i had been doing for the past several years. and yesterday i read 4dkelly's post about giving up. it made sense. by the time i had finished reading the post i had truly given up on everything. on wanting, hoping, fearing, striving etc etc. i was SO tired. so i gave up. fell asleep. i woke up really late as usual and missed the school bus. i ate breakfast in silence, switched the tv on and lied down on the couch like always. and like always out of compulsion and force of habit i reached for my phone and looked up non dualism on twitter. and then i came across a tweet that said a simple sentence only- "nothing is ever actually happening." woah. that kinda drove me to the edge of the cliff i desperately wanted to jump off. i turned on some dnb background music and turned the shower on. i stood under the boiling hot water like some dramatic bitch and started piecing together the "puzzle". it all made so much sense now. i got out of the shower and left the house for the first time in months with a cute outfit and makeup on and everything. i went to the mall, bought candles, stickers, eye masks, coffee, and a doughnut with absolutely no social anxiety at all. i sat by window, read some poetry on my e-reader, cried, peered down at the floor below me and cried some more at the sight of little kids sitting on santa's lap and taking pictures and marveled at all the christmas decorations around me. it was insane. i decided i was going to be neutral towards everything but im in love. maddeningly so. in love with this dream that i thought did not love me back. but love is all there is. I AM ALL THERE IS. and i need you to take this literally. there is nothing happening. there is nothing here except you. nothing to fear, nothing to desire. ik a lot of people are going to dismiss this post because it's not a "materialisation success story" but i honestly dont think i can ever want anything physically bc in all its true essence, what is there to materialise? i am already whole and complete. i am lying on this cold hard floor, but i have never felt warmer. also ik there may be a lot of things ive written you might not agree with but again, this is NOT REAL. I AM. i hope this post helps you.
thank you to all the blogs ive come across and all the pointers they have shared: @se1f @realisophie @itgomyway @4dkellysworld @4dbarbie-backup @infiniteko @iamthat-iam and many more i cannot thank enough.
lots and lots of love (more than you can ever imagine), and good luck.
#nondualism#consciousness#advaita vedanta#awareness#advaita#non duality#law of assumption#manifestation#manifesting#neville goddard
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Wiggity wack yo(đCrewel x Fem! Reader x Samđ)
Real not click bait
OKAY AHHHHH so I was told by my boyfriend that tumblr is gonna think im a bot for a bit I can assure you I'm not so im offering this for peace
Okay uhm now back to the fic LOLO
â§CW!! Fem reader, fem pronouns, fem descriptions for body parts, sex with older sexy men yummy, READER IS NOT YUU!!!, reader is like staff or some shit idk make your own shit up i dont care, penis stuff, what stuff? Idk yet your guess is as good as mine, anal AND vagina sex, at the same time btw, threesome or however you spell it M/M/F, yeah you're getting them both at the same time crazy shit ik, I can take them both, what? In a fight? Who said anything about a fight? We get praised, bc my biggest kink is being loved, I love these two, im used to Ao3 im so sorry for how this is formatted, also I hella ship crewel x sam and they will be together in this fic dont you dare think they won't.
Okay so yeah the CW does have a lot of jokes in it but im nervous bc this is my first fic thats like this but it does have actual warnings btw so please read them
NOT PROOFREAD!!!
Okay now onto the fic. Enjoy, you horny goblin.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~â§â§~~~~~~~~~~~~
â§It had been two months since you came to NRC for the first time.
Crowley hired you to be a counselor for the boys in the school. He decided that having a housewarden overbolt every so often wasn't worth the trouble and they needed a shoulder to cry on. And that just so happened to be you.
Crowley had made it apparent he wanted you, telling the agency you worked with that it had something to do with "women being better at comprehending emotion." You didn't mind, the pay was generous and the students were sweet enough to make you want to stay.
You already met most of the students by now, having all the housewardens in every other day just to express their family issues was something you had to deal with. Having the vice housewardens in afterwards wasn't very pleasurable either, but you had to make do. Sometimes Crowley would come in just to see how things were going, he'd say it was to "be generous", he brought you food Sometimes too.
You found yourself getting very close to the married couple of the school, Sam and Crewel. They were very sweet to you, complementing your style when you'd come in, hang out with you during break, Crewel would even bring you snacks from Sam's shop when he had the chance. You would hang out with them a lot, and though you didn't want to admit it, you did find both of them attractive, but you would never hurt their marriage.
Every once in a while, Crewel and Sam invited you over to their house. You'd have drinks, play games, get into really deep conversations about how Crowley sucked, the things friends do.
You didn't want to admit your feelings. You didn't want to admit how you'd slightly blushing when they were being nicer than usual. You didn't want to admit how your heart would beat out of its chest when Crewel would stand behind you, snaking his hands over yours to guide them to teach you how to make a margarita. You didn't want to admit how you'd get so excited when Sam would willingly buy your favorite snacks and have Crewel deliver them to you. It wasn't worth losing two amazing friends over two simple crushes.
You had just gotten done a long day of counseling all the first years, Ace and Deuce to get their counseling together. It was just as hectic as it sounded, taking up almost 4 hours of your time with other students coming and leaving when they realized how long the wait would be. You needed a way to relax and get your mind off this job. Luckily, Crewel came into your office at the end of the day and invited you over for drinks.
This was the perfect stress reliever, hanging out with your two amazing friends and having drinks sounded perfect after a long day. Crewel quickly noticed how tired you were, your disheveled appearance quaking from the little sleep you had. He decided to schedule the meet up for later in the day so you'd get some sleep beforehand. "We don't want you falling asleep on us, now do we?" Crewel gives you a small chuckle and a wink before bidding his goodbye and leaving.
Getting up from your chair with an exhausted sigh, you pack your notes into your bag and leave your office, locking the door behind you. Crowley said to always lock your office when you aren't there, something about the students being nosy and may snoop around. It didn't matter though, it was the end of the school day and the start of the weekend, who would spend their Friday snooping around in a counselors office?
Finally getting to the chamber room and walking through the mirror, you're at the part of campus where all the staff lives. Medium sized houses in a nice circle with Treins house being the biggest and in the middle. Unlocking your front door, you sigh and take off your jacket while laying your keys down on the table next to the door. Going upstairs and into your room, you take your bra and skirt off, climbing into bed after setting an alarm.
Crewel was nice enough to set the meet up back a few hours, scheduling it for 10. Giving you a nice 4 and a half hours to catch up on much needed sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~â§â§~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After being asleep for around 4 hours, you awoke to your alarm going off. It was 9:25, giving you 30 minutes to get ready.
Getting out of bed you hop into the shower to get washed up. Using the lovely sugar scrubs you usually do and washing your (H/L) (H/C) hair with a wonderful smelling shampoo and conditioner. Getting out of the shower, blow drying your hair and figuring out what to wear.
You finally decided on a nice (F/C) dress, not too skin tight, but leaving enough to the imagination to make it desirable. Luckily it wasn't out of the ordinary for you to wear something like this, so they wouldn't think anything of it.
It was getting to the time of leaving, so you quickly pack your things and head out. Closing the door behind you, you walk across the empty street and make it to their door. Since they lived in the same house, you would often catch them walking out early in the morning. It was convenient to say the least.
Knocking three times before the door opens with enthusiasm, you're greeted with Crewels smiling face as he greets you. He holds the door open as you walk in, taking your bag and coat off and putting them on the hangers near the door. Sam greets you from the kitchen, beckoning you to come and see him.
When you do, he has a bunch of machinery on the counter. "Sam used to be a barista before he started working here. He stopped a long time ago, but his love for coffee didn't. We decided to invest in some machinery to indulge in his hobby. Expensive, but worth it to see him happy." Crewel says as he walks behind you and gives you a smile.
"I've always loved working with coffee, the pure smell alone is enough to drive a man, me, wild. Come here, I'll show you have to work an expresso machine!" Sam says with a huge smile on his face. Something tells you alcohol isn't being involved tonight, perhaps its for the better.
Walking over to Sam he steps behind you and guides your hands to the different cups and powders to make a shot of expresso. Did Crewel and Sam always have similar ways of teaching? They aren't like this to the other staff..
After making the expresso, Sam grabs some coffee he brewed earlier. Pouring it into a mug and the expresso on top, he starts the foam art. Watching him pour the foam in different directions was almost mesmerizing, and soon enough, you had a little foam kitty! How cute!
Sam had finished his and Crewels coffee and you sat down at the coffee table with them. They were silent, more than usual. Their eyes would dart across the room, occasionally landing on you but quickly shifting focus. It seemed as though they wanted to say something, but couldn't figure out how to put it.
"Is something wrong? You guys are awfully silent tonight, I hope I didn't upset you in anyway-" you trailed off, trying to figure out what was going on.
"No, no! Its not you at all!" They both practically shouted while jumping from their chairs, spilling some coffee in the process. Grabbing some tissues and sitting down, they clean themselves up.
"Look, we've been meaning to ask you something- its just- we don't know how to exactly ask about it." Sam says, Crewel still trying to dab some coffee off of the vest hes wearing.
"We think that, maybe, we can open our marriage, but, just to you. We want to try things with you, see what we like, experiment a little." Crewel adds with flushed cheeks. He must be pretty nervous about this.
Sam takes a nervous sip of his coffee before continuing on what Crewel had just stated. "We trust you. We think that you're the only person that could be fit for this, and we're willing to help you explore that side of you. The 'nastier' side, so I've heard the kids say."
Well that was a lot to take in, a bit too much actually. You had felt your entire face heat up as you realized what they meant. A sort of rush of adrenaline creep in. Was this actually happening? You've wanted it bad since you first met them, but you never thought it would actually happen.
Sam and Crewel looked at you as you completely space out. You could feel the tension in the air, their stares getting impatient as their cheeks formed new colors you'd never seen on them.
"We completely understand if you don't want to do this, we won't force you into anyth-" Crewel chimed in after deciding the silence was too much, but was then swiftly cut off.
"I'll do it. I mean- I want to, that is. I've been wanting to, I just didn't want to make you guys uncomfortable. I mean, you're always so sweet to me, I thought we just had something platonic going on, but I had no clue you guys felt the same." You say while practically being out of breath. Pressing your thighs together as an instinct, Crewel quickly switches his gaze to a lovely house plant as his cheeks heat up more.
"Are you sure you want to do this? We'd never force you into anything, but we do want your full consent." Sam practically sighs out. Crewel is still red, but now is occasionally sparing glances at you.
"Yes, im sure. You may do whatever you please." Chuckling, you say with a smile directed to them. Sam gives you a soft smile while Crewel stands up from his chair.
"I'll get everything situated. Sam, if you want to take her into the bedroom and get her situated, that would be appreciated, I'll be in as soon as I'm done getting everything ready." Crewel says while walking out of the room, giving you both a wink on the way out.
"Alrighty then! Let's get you ready!" Sam yells while taking your hand and leading you to the bedroom. When you walk in, you take in the beautiful scenery. Large king sized bed, beautiful red curtains, their bedroom is huge! "Dont be intimidated, Crowley decided to give us extra space. He says we're his 'little gay friends.' We're not even completely gay! Wiggity wack, yo!"
You were so grateful that Sam knew how to break the silence and make you comfortable you didn't even notice he had left your side to go to one of their personal cabinets. "We had been planning this for awhile, we just didn't want to scare you away is all. Crewel and I had picked up a few sets of lingerie for you. You can try them on while we wait for him to get back! No pressure of course. I just figured you may not have expected something like this to happen and you wanted to change into something more... fitting... for the occasion."
Then, it hit you. You were wearing such normal panties, it hurt! Shame on you, shame on you!
Going to the cabinet, you skimmed through the sets of lingerie. None really caught your eye, until you landed on a lacy white two peice with pearly accents. Sexy, baby!
"Oh, you like that one? Thats Crewels favorite. Hes gonna go batshit crazy if he sees you in that! Personally I dont give a shit what you're wearing, you'll be naked and in my arms by the end of the night so it doesn't matter." He says with a smug look on his face. Was that... a threat? Why was it sexy for him to say if it was? He was leaning with his arms crossed on the cabinet, looking for any sign that you were uncomfortable. They really were putting your needs above theirs.
"Go! Try it on! I wanna see Crewels face when he comes back!" He lightly shooshes you away with a hearty laugh that made your cheeks red. After showing you to the bathroom, he leaves you to the privacy of the semi cold, hard floor room. Getting changed, you heard the door open and Crewel walk in. Sam and him were talking about something you just couldn't hear what. Putting the panties to the lingerie set on, you had realized they untied at the sides. How convenient! Stepping outside, you felt their eyes practically rip you apart.
"Hot diggity dog! I'm so sorry, that sounded so weird oh my god." Sam slaps his face before cupping his eyes in embarrassment. Crewel sent him a death glare before looking back at you with wide eyes and completely red cheeks.
"Uhm.. we should uh.. go over safety precautions. Our safeword is going to be, 'blue', understood?" Crewels voice was shaky and he was clearly avoiding your gaze, but he did sound serious. Shaking your head yes, he continues. "Alright. Remember, any time you get uncomfortable, or you want to stop, or anything, just say the safeword and we'll stop immediately. As for everything else, I got some things for us. Just to make everything a smoother process is all. Lube, vibrators, simply just things to have your body relax. As for protection, both Sam and I can't have kids. In our defense we didn't think something like this would happen."
"In short, you're gonna be fine. We'll make sure you're treated nice and good, don't worry. Crewel and I are, as the kids would say, 'freaks in the sheets', but we'll wait until later dates to actually try those things with you. If you're comfortable, that is." Sam smiles at you. It was comforting to see all the precautions they're taking.
"I'm okay with anything really, I mean, I dont have very much experience but im willing to try things out! It's just, im a bit nervous is all.." Sam looks at you as though he's seen something so otherworldly gorgeous he can't explain it, and he gently takes your hands.
"Hey, dont be scared, okay? We'll go as slow as you want, and if at anytime you want to stop we will. We just want you to have a good time." Sam winks as he gives your hands a gently squeeze of reassurance. Crewel was silently taking off his coat all the while looking at the way the lingerie was hugging your body. Blush was covering your cheeks as you take your hands out of sams grasp and cup them together in a nervous fashion.
"Thanks.. its just this outfit im wearing is starting to be a bit uncomfortable." You say while looking away from their prying eyes.
"Well let's take it off then." Crewel says with a grin on his face while making eye contact.
"Mhm. I agree. If its making you so uncomfortable we should take it off." Sam says while giving you his signature grin. He takes your hand and leads you to their shared bed, sitting you on his lap in the middle of the comfortable mattress. Crewel followed and crawled towards the two of you, while landing front of you and spreading your legs gently.
Sam slowly leans into the crook of your neck, "I'm gonna take these off, okay?" He whispers in your ear as he places the strings of your panties in his fingers. Nodding in agreement, he gives the shell of your ear a soft nip, earning a small yelp from you, making the men giggle.
He slowly takes his fingers and pulls on the drawstrings, Crewel in front of you, watching in anticipation. Shyness taking over, you instinctively shut your legs close when Sam begins to take the peice of loose fabric off.
Crewel places one hand on your inner thigh and pries them open, clicking his tongue while shaking his head in light hearted dissapointment. "Ah-ah, no hiding sweetheart, cmon, you'll be begging to be touched more by the end of the night, we have to start somewhere, dont we?" Crewels voice was laced with last, you had never heard him act like this before, but God you wanted more.
You you began to crawl up Sams lap in a stroke of nervousness, to which he only gave a soft smile at. "You'll be a good girl for Divus, wont you? You'll be so good for him, let him eat you out, right?" Sam says from behind you in a teasing tone, while Crewel waited patiently for your response. Nodding yes, Crewel dove between your legs like a starved man.
A loud moan escapes your lips from the sudden burst of pleasure, earning a chuckle from the man behind you. Placing both hands on Sam's thighs in an attempt to keep your balance, you only ended up digging your fingernails into his skin. Leaving harsh, painful nail marks on his legs, Sam groans at the sudden pain. He takes his hand, interlocking it in Crewels hair and pulling him forward so he can reach deeper parts of you. You moan loudly at Crewel being able to hit spots no one else could, and Sam takes his hand out of Crewels hair and places two fingers on your clit, making circular motions with light pressure.
With all the stimulation, it doesn't take long for you to cum, which you do with a loud moan. Crewel licks all of your juices up and swallow them in a single motion. "Delicious, as expected." He says as he softly caresses your cheek for comfort. Sam begins to rub slow circles into the flesh of your thigh, giving them light pinches every word often.
Crewel begins to unbuckle his belt with one hand, the other still stroking your cheek. "Are you alright with taking us both at the same time? Its alright if not, we can take turns if you'd like." Crewel makes eye contact with you as he asks, making you swallow hard in anxiety. As you begin to think, Sam lays his head in the crook of your neck in anticipation.
"I'm alright with taking you both at the same time, its just please be slow, im a little scared is all... this is my first time doing something like this..." you say as a small chuckle comes from them both. "Of course we'd be slow silly! You're our main priority, so we just want to make you comfortable." Sam says as he kisses your neck and slowly retreats from his resting place on your shoulder.
"I'd suggest you prepare her for... well, anal. You're alright with that, right?" Crewel asks with concern in his eyes. Now THIS was something you didn't expect tonight, but not unwelcome.
"I'm okay with it! But please, please be gentle, I've never done this before." You say as you look behind you at Sam. He gives you a smile before ruffling your hair. "I know I know, I'll be gentle I swear." He says as he begins to let his slender fingers roam to you ass. "Get ready, okay? This is gonna feel weird and possibly hurt for a minute, but it'll get better."
Taking a deep breath, you nod your head. Sam takes one finger and begins to slowly inch his way in, letting you stretch out. You slowly grown out at the alien feeling, gripping Sam's thighs harder than you were before.
He begins to curl his finger in you, slipping in another one as you start to loosen up more. Crewel could sense the way it hurt, he leaned down and started kissing and rubbing your thighs gently, hoping it would help you ease.
Sam could feel you loosen from this, to the point he was able to slip a third finger in, earning a moan from you. He began to curl his fingers upwards as he kissed and sucked on the sensitive skin of your neck. With the stimulation, you ended up cumming after a few minutes.
As Crewel lapped up your juices again, but gently this time as to not overstimulate you, Sam began to praise you more. "Look at you, doing so good for us, taking us so well. I cant wait to have you coming undone on us." Sam said as he placed a light kiss on your cheek.
Crewel took the rest of his clothes off, leaving him in just his boxers, letting you stare in awe at how well built he was. He took your hand and let you sit in his lap. "Just a second doll, Sam needs to undress himself." He says as he buries his face in the crook of your neck, placing sweet kisses on it. After a minute, Sam was done and was also in just his boxers, guiding you back onto his lap.
"Which hole ya wanna take? Rock paper scissors? No, thats too cliche.." Sam rambles on. "I'm fine with whatever, what do you want, y/n?" Crewel tags into the conversation as he scoots closer to the two of you, holding your waist in the process.
"I'm okay with the position we're in right now, with you being in the front, Sam in the back.. it seems fine like this." The men smile at how genuine you're being, voicing your concerns, ect. Its cute to them. They nod and hum in agreement as Crewel grabs a bottle of lube.
"I reckon I won't have to use this as much as you will, Sam. Take it slow, hurt her and I'll beat the shit out of you." Crewel says with a smile on his face, sort of whispering that last part.
"I am gentle! I'm always gentle, some would even call me a gentleman!" Sam says with a playful scowl, taking the bottle from him. You begin to giggle as you see Crewel slowly take off his boxers, reveling his already, very hard member.
"Sorry love, you looked too cute, couldn't help it, yknow?" He says, giving you a wink as his breath speeds up. You feel Sam shifting under you and you feel him take off his boxers, throwing them to the side.
Oh no, they're both huge! Crewels is long, around 7-8.5 with reasonable girth, while Sams is 6.5 and a lot thicker. How are you gonna take them both at once?
"I know what you're thinking, you'll be alright. We'll take it slow, build up speed with time." Sam says as he places a quick kiss on your temple. He squeezes the lube on his hand, rubbing it together to warm it up before putting it on his cock. Earning a hiss from him, he sighs and places both hands on your waist. Lifting your body up, both him and Crewel line themselves with your holes, and wait for your confirmation.
Placing both hands on Crewels shoulders, you nod your head before they begin to slowly sink themselves into you, stretching you out more in the process. Moans from all three of you fill the room as they lower you down more and more.
Once they are fully in, they both huddle close to your body, singing you praise after praise as they wait for you to let them move. After a few minutes pf being out of breath and simply just panting you give them the go ahead.
"You can move, I'm okay now." And with that, they pull their torsos away from you and place their hands on your waist. Starting at a slow pace for you to get used to it, they slowly and gradually add more speed as they both bounce you on their cocks.
Sam rests his head on your shoulder, panting in your ear as his grip on you tighten and his muscles tense. Crewel doing the same, but while bouncing you, he begins to thrust upwards when you come down to make a larger impact, earning a loud moan that makes you tense around them.
Ssm gets jealous of how Crewel seems to be fucking you better, so he starts to do the same, meeting his thrusts with your timing. You were all moaning messes and by the looks of it, none of you could last very long.
Sam grits his teeth as his hands make their way to your tits, softly squeezing and pinching them. Crewel let's his hands wander to your pussy, taking his thumb and rubbing circles on your clit. You dont last long after they begin to do this, and cum for the third time this night, riding out your high as Sam and Crewel chase theirs.
You can feel Sams breath speed up and grow more hoarse as his grip on your thighs and breast slightly tighten. "Shit shit shi-" a loud groan erupted from his chest as he spills his seed in you. Crewel falling seconds after, cumming in you as he thrusts upwards, keeping it in.
You all lay on the bed for a few seconds, basking in eachothers presence while catching your breath. Crewel slowly pulls out, earning a whince from you. He walks into the bathroom and comes back seconds later with a wash cloth.
"Cmon Sam, you gotta get out." Crewel says as he looks at him, with a whine Sam pulls out too, letting both their juices spill out of you. "Such a good girl for us, keeping all our cum in her. You did so well for us dear." Crewel says as he cleans you up. Lightly dabbing the cloth on your now sensitive areas, he softly chuckles at the way your body reacts.
Sam walks to the other side of the room, going into a small fridge and grabbing three waters and a few snacks. "I've got waters for all of us and some chocolates for the girl of the hour." He says with a wink. Crewel is done cleaning you and goes to throw the soiled towel in a wash basket as Sam opens your water and chocolates.
Replenishing your thirst and munching on the surprisingly delicious chocolates, Sam picks you up unexpectedly and moves you to the front of the bed. "What, you didn't think we were gonna kick you out after this, did you?" Crewel says chuckling as he comes back from being in the bathroom.
"Honestly, im not sure what to expect from you guys anymore." You say with a chuckle. Both men chuckle aswell as they make it into bed with you, sandwiching you between them. Shifting the pillows and blankets around until you're all comfortable, you lay in a comfortable silence.
As you all say your goodnights as the lights in the room turn off, you can't help but think of what situation you're in. Having two men who just fucked you into oblivion now cuddling you goodnight? You could get used to this.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~â§â§~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: im lorde yaya im lorde yaya
#twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland smut#twst crewel#twst divus#divus crewel#crewel x reader#divus x reader#sam twst#sam twisted wonderland#twst smut#crewel smut#twst sam smut#need these men so bad wow#im down so bad for them#crying screaming rolling on the floor
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Fanart of my own fanfiction (Chimera Teto x Android Miku)
Good news! When I woke up and looked at my art again today, I liked it, so here's the uncolored version! I trust you tumblr people, so here you go! You may view. This technically means I've drawn UTAU Teto (here) and SynthV Teto, but I really want to color this and take my time doing so, so here are the lines before it turns into something else hahaha đđđ Read More for the stuff I wanted to write last night but was too tired to (also the art time lapse)
I showed like two WIPs of different ideas on Twitter but none of them were this LOL (just goes to show how much I wanna draw and see of these two specifically) but the reason I decided to go with this is 'cuz that fanfic I wrote in like one day really got me excited and it made me really want to draw them as I was imagining more stuff about them. Here I'll talk about what I had in mind
I love chimera Teto, especially her majestic wings, and what I drew here is basically inspired by that! Teto's basically the only "living, sentient" thing around Miku so far (I dunno how to approach adding more creatures just yet), which makes Miku extra interested in her. But basically Miku likes Teto's wings and tail too and is very fascinated by them.
I had an idea where Miku is just holding or playing with Teto's tail out of nowhere and complimenting the heck out of her, and that was condensed into this piece. It was too crowded on Miku's side to have Teto's tail there as well, but the reason Teto's embarrassed (tsundere is nice, aint it xD) is 'cuz Miku is indeed praising the heck out of her. Calling her cute and saying how cool her wings are and whatnot.
The dialogue kinda goes like, "Your wings are so cool! And I really like how expressive your tail is! I wonder what I would do with a tail. It's so cute! Actually, now that I think about it, all of you is really cute!!" (Teto, embarrassed: "Stop talking now.") wwww
Miku does have a kinda tail actually! It's the chain on top of her skirt. As an android, I was thinking it works as sort of a battery plug or USB or something. I can show off more of that later (since it's really small here lol) but she can use it to receive electricity and recharge herself, I guess~. (Note to self: make it bigger?)
I haven't shown off much of my art style, but most (normal) characters usually don't have pupils. (See: this Teto, who's a living breathing creature.) As a result, I decided to give Miku pupils (kinda robot-like) to make her seem like more of a robot. She also wears the thing (headphones) over her ears, of course, which I can also use to make her seem more robot-like. There's no green flashing of code in her eyes right now but I might draw that sometime too, after my loads of other ideas...
Teto's wings aren't fragile. They're probably firm, hard, and could even be scaly/rough (up to my own whims or the reader's own preference). Her letting Miku touch her (wings) is probably a huge display of trust/confidence. Teto's wings are strong enough to carry her far distances and even allow her to fly in bad weather, I think. It's up to Teto herself how much energy/desire she has to do things like that though.
This is mentioned in the fic too, but Teto probably folds her wings a lot so they don't get in the way. She's kinda like a bird. I think her silhouette against the sun or moon, with full wingspan, is probably majestic (I'm imagining the Batman symbol for some reason lol). I know some people color Teto's wings as purple, but I specified black in my fic to match her tail. ^^
In order for her wings to breathe, there are probably holes in the back of her outfit to accommodate them, but they're only big enough for the wings (ellipses/ovals probably): she either tears/cuts holes into the shirts she wears for her wings or they already fit her wings so there's no problem. I wonder if Teto made her UTAU outfit herself in this setting. xD (A girl has to pass the time SOMEHOW plus she's probably at least a little bit handy when it comes to clothes and stuff (survival).)
If, while I'm coloring, I need to make adjustments to the seating and lineart and all that, I will, but I figured I'd show off what made me stay up 'til 5 AM last night and then get embarrassed to post 'cuz I thought I wasn't finished yet. I woke up and I liked it, so I'm just gonna put it in this here blog. c:
I don't know how to color, so coloring will be a trip đ
#my art#vocaloid#utau#negidrill#mikuteto#tetomiku#kasane teto#hatsune miku#uncolored#lineart#chimera#android#song fanart#end of the world au
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Yandere Dick Grayson x GN Reader
⼠Part I >> Part II >> Part III >> Part IV
đđđđđđđ: Wanted to write a platonic older brother Dick Grayson story, but depicting his spiral into yandere-hood. Tumblr canât handle my swag AO3-length writing, so multiple parts it is!
đđđđđđđđ: platonic sibling yandere content, older brother Dick Grayson, younger sibling reader, non-vigilante reader, adopted reader, slow burn yandere(?), the pacing is very a-day-in-the-life-esque, kind-of stalking, unsettling build-up, Dick isnât a full-blown yandere yet, starting off tame, biblically accurate Batfam, CLIFF HANGER!!
⼠đ đđ đđđ đđđđđđđđđđđ đ
đđ đđđđ đđđđđ đđđđđđđđđđđ. đđ đđđđđđ.
Richard Grayson didnât really like you.
He never told you outright, but you knew. It was painfully obvious during your initial meeting (one that was âlong overdue,â according to Bruce), back when Alfred dropped you off at his BlĂźdhaven apartment with all your belongings. Though he offered a welcoming smile with complimentary dimples, something dark swirled in his sapphire eyes, a stony cold stare contrasting with his warm greeting of, ânice to finally meet you, (Y/N).â
You didnât know that much about Richard Grayson, other than his role as your pseudo older brother (and the fact that he was Robin, and now Nightwing, but you were still wrapping your head around the idea of your filthy rich adoptive father being fucking Batman, so⌠thereâs not much you could say on that). He seemed friendly enough in all the gala interviews youâve seen, but you were starting to realize to not take someoneâs press persona as gospel: after all, Bruce Wayne seems much more put together in front of the cameras than he does in the manor. So, while unsettling, you couldnât say you were too surprised by this official first impression.
Maybe he was just tired, you told yourself. He probably doesnât get much sleep, with the whole crime-fighting thing and all.
(Yeah⌠crime-fighting thing⌠yâknow, cuz your pseudo older brother is Nightwing, and your filthy rich adoptive father is fucking Batman.)
However, after getting all your things settled into his spare bedroom â Alfred being a big help, as he always was â you were getting the sense that your gut intuition was right; Richard Grayson didnât really like you at all. He may have acted all cordial, giving you a tour of his apartment and making polite jokes, but as soon as Alfred left and he excused himself to make a phone call in his room, his true feelings on your collective predicament became painfully apparent, as thin walls did nothing to hold in his heated argument with Bruce.
âB, why the hell are you doing this to me?! âŚâŚ. No, theyâre in their room. Getting all their stuff settled in right now. âŚâŚ. I know I did, but now that theyâre here, I justâ!! âŚâŚ. No, theyâve been okay so far, itâs justâ come on, B, I know youâre an empty-nester, but if you werenât ready to take in a kid, whyâd youâ?! âŚâŚ. Really? So adopting orphans is just a hobby now?! âŚâŚ. Yeah, and itâs really unfortunate what theyâve gone through, but you canât just pick up every stray you see, especially if youâre this fucking paranoid about them wanting toââ
This was the only time you could understand Bruceâs response over the phone; âI DONâT WANT ANOTHER DEAD CHILD, DICK.â
⌠Ah.
There was a beat of silence before Bruce continued, though his softer tone made it impossible to make out what he was saying. He went on and on until Dick sighed. âBruce, I want them to have a happy home. And, yeah, I sure as hell agree that the manor might not be the best choice, but Iâm off doing my own thing just as much as you are. At the very least, Alfredâ âŚâŚ. What wouldâve been good for both of you was to not sign the papers in the first place. Youâre still healing, and they need someone who can be there for them. âŚâŚ. No. No, theyâre already here. Iâll stay true to my word, B, but they canât stay here forever; you know that. Itâs just not healthy for all of us. âŚâŚ. Yeah, I know. Iâll do my best. Look, I gotta figure out what Iâm gonna make this kid for dinner.â
And then, without a single goodbye exchanged, the call went dead.
So, yeah. Richard Grayson didnât really like you.
Which was fine. Really, it was. You werenât even his sibling by law, as you learned from Alfred that Bruce technically never even adopted him, yet here he was being asked to take care of you, a reminder that he canât escape Bruce Wayne or Batman no matter how hard he tries. While you were still learning the full situation (again, your filthy rich adoptive father is fucking BATMAN), what you already knew didnât paint a pretty picture. Honestly, you didnât blame Richard Grayson for being a little spiteful towards you. It did make sense.
You just wish it didnât make you feel so⌠unwanted.
âHow was school, kiddo?â
A questioning hum was startled from your vocal chords. The car ride had been so silent, you found yourself lost in your own thoughts, almost forgetting that you were buckled into the passenger seat of Richardâs â Dickâs, rather; he told you to call him Dick the day you moved in â older, copper-colored car. After taking a few moments to collect yourself, you threw your temporary guardian a glance only to find he was pointedly staring at you (which was concerning, as he was driving).
âUhâŚâ your voice faltered a bit, forcing you to cough in your fist. âIt was alright.â
His eyes lingered on you for a bit longer before returning to the road ahead. You thought that was the end of the conversation, but then he spoke up again. âDid you learn anything?â
A bit of an awkward thing to ask, but at least he was trying. âFactoring in algebra. And I guess a little about the Mongol Empire.â
âFactoring,â he said with distaste. âWasnât a fan of that. Though it didnât really help that I had the worst algebra teacher. Ended up with a 70 in that class by some miracle.â A small beat of silence. âDo anything fun with friends?â
You grimaced. Though you tried your best not let it show, you knew Dick probably caught it through the rear-view mirror. âI, uh, havenât made any friends yet.â
âItâs already October,â he skeptically stated with a quirked brow.
âI know. Itâs justâŚâ you clutched your book bag closer to your chest. âIt was my first day here, so⌠gotta make new friends.â
â⌠Oh.â
As much as you wanted to dryly chortle at his reaction, you refrained. It probably wasnât his fault he didnât know about being transferred from Gotham to BlĂźdhaven Academy, since Bruce apparently had a habit of keeping people out of the loop with things. For all you know, Dear Olâ Daddy Bats just gave Dick an address and said, "drop off at 9, pick up at 3:30," leaving your pseudo-older brother to fill in the blanks from there (âthis is an address to a school, so Iâm assuming this is where they go to school,â or something like that).
So, all you could do was shrug. âYeah.â
Out of the corner of your eye, you could see his jaw tighten. He seemed to be deliberating on something, eyes burning holes through his windshield as he let out a sigh. âSo, guessing you have no one to stay with for the night?â
âStay with?â You furrowed your brows. âWhat do you mean, stay with?â
âWell, Iâm gonna be out tonight,â he explained, his tone sounded a bit exasperated. âCanât just leave you on your own. Do any friends from your old school live near by?â
You were at a loss for words. He wanted you to stay with someone? For the entire night? âWait, hold on⌠you just wanna dump me at a friendâs house anytime you do your hero shitâ?â
âNot sure if youâve noticed, kiddo, but weâre in BlĂźdhaven,â he spat at you. âAnd my apartment isnât exactly in the nicest part of town.â
âButâ itâll be fine, âcuz you have a Bat-level security system,â you protested.
His grip got tighter on the steering wheel. âDoesnât matter. Youâre used to the manor, not street-level crime, kid.â
âI grew up in Gotham,â you retorted. âIâve known street-level crime way longer than Iâve known the manor.â Before he could say something to that, you beat him to it by following up with, âand besides, all my friends from Gotham live in areas that are just as bad as your apartment. Wasnât all that popular with the socialite kids with mansions, you know.â
No response for several seconds. Dickâs expression was far from pleasant, and you were starting to worry if you were getting yourself into some sort of trouble. Eventually, however, he let out a frustrated sigh, his cold eyes snapping towards your figure. âYou make one hell of an argument, kiddo. But listen. Weâve gotta go over home-alone rules when weâre back to the apartment, alright? I donât want anything happening to you under my watch.â
âFine by me,â you shrugged.
The conversation was then dropped.
A small smile started to bloom on your face. He really thought he could rid of you like that, didnât he? You knew he didnât really like you, but using itâs not safe as an excuse to a Gothamite? Really? Yeah, thatâs a bunch of bogus.
⌠Though, you had to admit, it was nice that he at least sounded considerate.
You woke up to the sounds of disgruntlement coming from the living area.
It wasnât too loud, as you couldnât exactly comprehend what was being said, but it was loud make you realize the disgruntled party was extremely ticked by something. Getting out of bed, you put your ear to the door for better listening.
âI already told you, I canât. Iâve been leaving this kid home alone far too often for my liking. âŚâŚ. Where, Roy?! Where can they stay?! Bruce isnât in the right headspace to have another kid in the manor, andâ ow, fuckâ itâs not like they have any friends to crash with for the night! âŚâŚ. Transferred schools. Wouldâve been nice if Bruce said something about that, butâ âŚâŚ. Said their Gotham friends live in areas just as bad. Besides, thereâs no way in hell Iâm letting them step foot back into that hellhole without me being there. âŚâŚ. âCuz itâs fucking Gotham, Roy! Itâs only city in the world that has a death by killer clown statistic!!â
Ah. Another phone call. Dick had been making a lot of those, recently. You never knew who was on the other line, except if it was Bruce or (by rare chance) Alfred, but you had a general idea that it was always one of his super hero friends. Not very many people casually talked about beating up thugs and criminals, after all.
âNoâ absolutely not. Bruce would be pissed if he found out!! Heâd think Iâm trying to make them into my sidekick or something, and god knows what happens to them after that. Iâve been through the system, Roy. While Iâm not too keen on keeping a kid around, putting them back there is not an option. âŚâŚ. Theyâre justâ safer in my apartment than anywhere else right now. I canât have anything happening to them. Not after Jason. Bruce would never forgive me, and Iâ I wouldnât be able to live with myself. âŚâŚ. Iâm sorry, Roy. Maybe next time. âŚâŚ. Yeah. Tell the other Titans Iâm thinking about them, okay? âŚâŚ. Yeah, good luck tonight. Try not to show up on the news. âŚâŚ. Yup. See you.â
Your ears picked up on a low beep, heralding the end of the call. As Dick let out a string of curses, you couldnât help but feel⌠empty. You were more than just a pain in the ass for Dick; you were a full-blown problem. It wasnât just the fact that you were keeping him from having hero fun. Even if he wasnât all that fond of you, he still considered you his responsibility, and seemed genuinely worried about your safety when he wasnât there. You were under the impression that he went out at night to forget you existed, butâŚ
JasonâŚ
Jason was a name you were only vaguely familiar with, usually used as a heavy blow in a Dick v. Bruce argument. While you donât exactly know the full context, Alfred did make mention once of a kid who lived in Wayne Manor before you (the one who is âno longer with us,â as the butler solemnly said), and upon stumbling into the Batcave by accident, some of the only coherent mutterings he offered were, âJason,â and âno, not again.â
Again, you didn't know the full context, but it's easy to put together the pieces from there.
A particularly loud curse from the other side of the door brought you back to reality. You at first wondered if you should go out there and make sure your current guardian-figure was okay, but you decided against it, as A.) he was probably just patching himself up from a particularly rough skirmish, and B.) he didn't seem like he was in the mood to see you. Besides, with your thoughts on this Jason kid, you didn't know if you had enough self-control to keep your burning questions locked away on your tongue.
So, instead, you decided to lay back down in your bed, brainstorming ideas to get Dick to talk about Jason.
This was⌠kind of a terrible way to ask.
Sure, you were curious. The thought had been haunting your thoughts since Bruceâs breakdown, and being out of the loop was slowly eating away at your mind. But maybe you couldâve been less⌠abrupt⌠and given Dick a little bit more time to be mentally prepared. It was an extremely sensitive topic, after all, and you knew even he was healing from the aftermath.
You hoped he understood your question wasnât just morbid curiosity; Jasonâs death is in-part the reason youâre here, after all.
Dick stared at you across from the dinner table. His fork had a few pieces of macaroni skewered one the prongs, half-raised to be shoveled into his mouth. Blue eyes stared right through you, blinking owlishly as he presumably tried to process what the fuck you just asked him. All you could do was hunch into yourself in your seat, mentally scolding yourself for how fucking rude your question probably was. Painfully long seconds ticked by with no sort of response, and you eventually decided that the best course of action was to do some preemptive damage control.
âYouâ actually, you donât have to answer,â you weakly sputtered. âIâm so sorry, thatâsâ that was so uncalled for. Iâm really sorry, Dick.â
He set his fork down. âNo, itâs fine. Iâm just⌠did Bruce notâ he never told you?â
You shook your head.
â⌠Ah,â was his reply. His eyes wandered towards the window, an unreadable expression falling onto his face. He seemed a bit⌠lost. Which was understandable, as you didnât exactly give him prep time for a conversation like this. You gave him as much time as he needed to put his thoughts in order.
Finally, he gave an answer. âKilled in action. Ended up in the hands of the Joker, and⌠well, he didnât come home. No Robin ever since.â
The flat tone that carved through his words caused your hair to stand on end. He kept the details vague, but you didnât find yourself minding all that much. If the Joker was involved, it probably wasnât that much of a lovely story. âSo, he was Robin after you?â
A hum of confirmation came from Dick. âThe mantle was open, since I took up a new name. After finding out that Bruce was Batman, he practically begged to be trained as Robin.â He slowly brought the fork to his mouth. âThatâs what Bruce said, anyway.â
It was then you noticed the silverware rattling from some sort of rhythmic thumping. After a few moments, you realized it was from your knee hitting against the table, causing you to will your legs to stay still. âUmâŚâ you cleared your throat. âWere you⌠close with Jason?â
âI mean, we were friendly.â He still neglected to make eye contact with you. âI tried to be a good example to him, but I was busy doing my own thing here.â His gaze dropped to the linoleum floor. âDidnât spend enough time with him.â
A heavy pressure crushed down on your chest. While you didnât know Jason personally, you were no stranger to the concept of loss, and the more you learned about his death, the more your current situation was starting to make sense. Jason discovered Bruce was Batman. He wanted to be Robin, and Bruce let him. Then he died as Robin. Bruceâs adopted son died on the field, in the costume.
So, after you found out Bruce was Batman⌠it probably felt all too familiar.
âIâm⌠Iâm sorry,â you practically whispered.
Dick only sighed. âItâs alright, kiddo.â Finally, he raised his eyes to look at you. âSay, how are you doing in that chemistry class?â
⌠Huh?
The abrupt change in subject was⌠interesting. But definitely understandable, as talking about Jasonâs death probably wasnât all too pleasant. Guilt started to eat away at your conscious, the thought of making Dick uncomfortable by reminding him of his grief and regrets making your heart feel heavy. So, you merely offered a shrug and said, âuh⌠Iâm doing fine.â
âThought you were having trouble with valence equations,â he mused.
You could only dumbly stare at him. Okay⌠this was new territory. Sure, he always asked how school was while picking you up, but this was the first time heâs talked about it at dinner. Then again, this is the first time you two have talked at dinner period, since most dinners were spent eating in total silence, so maybe he was just trying to cleanse the awkward air that you created from randomly inquiring about Jason (because you can't do anything right, apparently).
So, ignoring the warmth that swirled in your chest at the thought of him actually caring about your life outside of the polite, seemingly obligatory after-school exchanges, you indulged.
BlĂźdhaven nights werenât all that different from Gothamâs. They could get noisy, the sounds of the city mixing together into one cacophony. Youâve learned how to sleep through it all, and itâs not like itâs all high energy for the entire night; around 1 in the morning, thereâs a lull in activity that yields little to no sounds to disturb your slumber. Some would even call this hour the most peaceful that places like Gotham and BlĂźdhaven can get, despite all of the dubious activities that are probably happening.
So, something like the sound of a window sliding opening is enough to disturb this peace.
It was your window. It sounded like it was right in your room, so it had to be your window. You stayed as petrified as a statue in your bed, the fog of sleepiness immediately airing out of your brain from your nervous system screaming, holy shit, someone is opening my window. Well, maybe, if you continued to stay still, they wouldnât recognize the obvious lump in the bed, take whatever the fuck they wanted, and be on their merry way. With any luck, Dick was done doing his hero shit, and the unfortunate sap breaking into the apartment would have a run-in with Nightwing.
Thatâs when a your bed began to creak from a new weight being added to it.
⌠Ah, shit.
You didnât move. There was no way in hell you were moving. Even if the intruder seemingly knew you were there, you could do nothing else but stay stagnant in place, waiting for them to make the next move. Maybe, if they touch you, you could swing your arm to hit them and catch them by surprise. That might give you enough time to run, find Dickâs room, and pray to god heâs home. If not, then you could at least lock yourself in his room and hold out until he does.
Your thoughts were cut short when a familiar voice rang out.
âYou didnât lock your window.â
⌠That bastardâ!!
Relief crashed through your body like a tidal wave. A heavy breath tumbled out of your lips â one that you didnât even know you were holding in â which alleviated the growing pressure in your chest. Now that you could feel your limbs again, you willed away the shiver that wanted to travel through your body as you turned to face this so-called intruder. âKind of an unconventional way to come home, donât you think?â
Your eyes met the pearly white lenses of a domino mask. The shadowy figure sitting on your bed had his arms crossed over the unmistakable azure symbol of Nightwing, which, oddly enough, had an intriguing iridescent shimmer under the moonlight. Huh⌠none of the cameras really pick up that detail, you mentally noted, glancing back and forth between the contrast of matte black and shiny blue. You were no professional superhero costume critic, but it was a nice little touch.
Dickâs tired sigh snapped you out of your thoughts. It was a grim reminder that â oh, yeah â youâre about to get chewed out by your vigilante kind-of-older-brother⌠at an ungodly hour. âKid,â he began, the chastising tone you were becoming more and more acquainted with lacing every word, âyou canât keep forgetting to lock everything like that. What if I was some crook, or kidnapper, or worse?â
âGood thing it was just Nightwing coming through my window to give me a heart attack,â you humorlessly mused.
Though you couldnât see underneath the mask, you knew he was giving you that one unamused stare youâre all too familiar with. â(Y/N), Iâm serious. This is about your safety, your life, even. If something bad happens while Iâm out, I wonât be able to protect you. For godâs sake, kid. I could be on the other side of BlĂźdhaven while youâre getting taken, or murdered, or whatever!!â He took a moment to heave another sigh. âJust⌠promise me youâll lock your window next time, alright? Please.â
All you could do was wordlessly nod. After taking some time to process what he was saying, you admittedly felt bad. He was right; neglecting to lock your window like that could very well mean death in BlĂźdhaven. Itâs not like growing up in Gotham is any different, so you knew this fact very well. Maybe your time at the manor caused you to become less careful, as itâs unlikely any criminals are hitting up the Wayne residence anytime soon; and itâs not like any of them know about the Bat-level security, either.
A springy click echoed through your room, and you looked up to see Dick inspecting your window (youâve long stopped questioning how he just teleports like that). After deeming it to be safe, he softly padded towards your door. His hand was on the knob, but he seemed a bit hesitant to turn it. Then, almost as an afterthought, he looked at you over his shoulder and said, âgoodnight, kiddo.â
â⌠Goodnight,â you mumbled.
He was out the door.
Click.
Now alone in your room, you could finally replay what just happened. Dear Big Bro Dickybird just gave you the scare of a lifetime, chastised you about being irresponsible, and left to assumingly go to bed (though youâre not sure if that man actually sleeps or not). The conversation â well, more like lecture â played in your mind, repeating on loop like a broken record⌠because of course your mind wanted to make you feel guiltier than you already did.
Thatâs when something weird stuck out to you.
âYou canât keep forgetting to lock everything like that.â
⌠Keep?
As far as you knew, that was your first time actually forgettingâŚ
So... how did he know?
Thwack.
Before you could even begin to register whatever the fuck just hit your forehead, a teasingly dry voice rang out from above. âYour handwriting really sucks, y'know."
With furrowed brows to showcase your confusion, you forced yourself to sit upright on the couch. A small notepad fell from your chest to the floor, the pages sprawled out from the metal spiral to reveal your list of things you wanted from the store. âI was writing fast,â you grumbled.
"Sure you were," cooed Dick with a less-than-friendly smirk. He then cocked his head to the side, arms crossing over his chest. "Wanted a change of scenery or something?"
You felt your face scrunch up. "What does that mean?"
"You usually watch your dumb little YouTube videos in your room," he explained. "Not sprawled out on my couch."
Honestly, you weren't even going to question how he knew that. Maybe it was that dumb Bat-detective intuition, or the fact that you probably need to start turning the volume on your phone down a notch (thin walls, remember?). Rolling your eyes, you situated yourself so that you were once again lounging comfortably on the couch. "Trying to tell me something, bucko?"
"Yeah, actually." Before you knew it, you were being ripped away from the cushions, an indignant yelp leaving your lips as you dangled mid-air from your legs. You had to adjust to your new upside-down view in order to throw Dick an incredulous glare. The bastard merely offered a shit-eating grin, simply stating, "get off my couch."
"... Could've just told me that," you spat out.
He began to walk you out of the living room. "You wouldn't of listened."
"Wha-- I totally would've!"
"Somehow, I doubt that."
Whatever retort you wanted to throw at him dissolved into a heavy OOMF as he dropped you onto the floor. You found yourself glaring up at him once more as he swiped invisible dust off of his hands, giving you a champion smirk before heading back in the living. You managed to orient yourself into an awkward squat just in time to see him confidently throw himself into the couch cushions.
That asshole just kicked you out of your spot.
You were not about to let that slide.
With an animalistic yell, you began to gallop â yes, gallop; it was a weird mix of running and crawling, as you were already on the floor â at him full speed. He barely had time to react to your charge (as you victoriously noted from his surprised OOF as you pounced on him), and within seconds, the both of you were locked into a fight to the death. Dick might've had the upper hand when it came to combat technique, but what you lacked in experience, you made up in dedication as you tried your damned hardest to push him off of the couch.
"Hey," he wheezed out. "Quit it, you little freak!!"
"You quit it," was your breathy reply. "I was here first!!"
"But it's my couch!!"
"Didn't see you using it!!"
"Just 'cuz I was getting your dumbass groceries!!"
"You were out for a whole-ass hour!!"
Despite giving it your all, the battle was beginning to turn against you as Dick managed to wrestle your upper body between his forearm and bicep. He eventually managed to pin your viciously kicking legs under his arm, and looking back on it, the scene probably looked reminiscent of a zookeeping holding down a trashing crocodile. This didn't deter you however, as you began to gnaw at his forearm, drawing a sound of disgust from your captor. "I had to spend, like, 30 minutes trying to decipher your shit handwriting," he scoffed. "Now can you just accept defeat and stop biting me!?"
You tried to respond with something along the lines of, "not until you give me my spot back," but it came out as garbled nonsense with your mouth full of his forearm. He aggressively told you to repeat yourself (probably under the pretense that you were giving him some major lip), and during the time you relieved his skin of your teeth to say something much worse than you initially did, a cheerful little tune began to play from Dick's pocket.
"... Hold that thought," he murmured.
Respectfully, you kept still and allowed him to use one of his hands to fish his phone out of his hoodie (you thought about using this as an opportunity to escape, but that would go against the unspoken rules of battle). He squinted his eyes to read the caller ID, only to heave a frustrated groan. âBruce,â he curtly informed you. You were about to ask if he wanted some privacy, when he suddenly released you from his hold and sent you careening towards the ground. So, taking that as an answer, you scrambled off of the floor and headed towards your room, phone somehow materializing in your hand in the process.
From your room, the call sounded so faint.
⌠Maybe the walls werenât as thin as you initially thought they were.
You let out a jet of hot air through your teeth. âThe hell is taking him so long?â
The time was 3:50, but Dickâs old car was nowhere to be seen in your schoolâs parking lot. You shot hit a text 5 minutes ago that has yet to be read, and if you were being honest, you were more anxious than annoyed. Dick was never late to pick-up. Late to drop-off, sure (there was one time you showed up to school at 11:25 due to him sleeping in from a late-night drug bust, and you got the pleasure of making up an embarrassing excuse at the expense of Dickâs pride to the front office), but never pick-up.
So, this meant one of two things; heâs finally forgotten about you, or thereâs an emergency.
Just as you were debating on checking the local news, your phone buzzed in your hand, screen lighting up to reveal a message from Bastard. You could feel your apprehension melting away as you unlocked your phone to read his message:
robbery going on
⌠Ah. That explains the spike in police siren activity going on around you.
You were about to shoot him a classic, âwhat the fuckâ text, but his typing bubble popped up. After a second, another message followed:
gonna be late
Okay, now you decided to send your, âwhat the fuck.â
The read status under your text didnât show up until a few minutes later (because thatâs what you needed in this moment; more anxiety), and he immediately got to typing.
sorry kiddo
stay put
be there in a sec
Your shaky fingers managed to type him a message along the lines of, ��be careful, good luck,â which was left unread by him. A snake of apprehension began to squeeze at your lungs, making it harder and harder to breathe. You had to force yourself to suck in a good bit of air to calm your nerves. Maybe he was just busy kicking some ass, thatâs all. Heâs stopping a whole-ass robbery from happening, so itâs not like he can keep up with your messages. Besides, he told you he would be there âin a sec,â so heâs probably wrapping everything up now.
Calm down, (Y/N), you scolded yourself. Your brother is Nightwing. Heâll be fine.
Thatâs when you witnessed an explosion light up the sky.
It was distant, but big enough to send a low rumble through the ground. You watched in absolute horror as the violent orange and yellow dissipated from behind the cityscape, leaving an inky trail of smoke behind as its calling card. More and more sirens of different origins â police, fire, ambulance â were overlapping in a terrible harmony, though it was hard to process from the brazen ringing in your ears, clogging your brain out from the outside world.
Oh, shit.
What if that wasâ?!
You desperately fumbled with your phone, unlocking it to reveal your still unread message to Dick. You were hoping for some sort of sorry about that text, or at the very least to see his typing bubble, but you were met with radio silence. Apprehension became pure fear when your thoughts began to race. Something bad happened to Dick. Thereâs no way in hell an explosion happened coincidentally, so something bad just happened.
Not good, not good, not good at allâŚ!!
It took longer than you wanted to get your fingers to type something:
Dick??
Dick, you okay??
I saw that, are you okay??
Dick??
Dick??
⌠Nothing.
You resorted to calling him.
⌠BeeeeeeeeepâŚ
⌠BeeeeeeeeepâŚ
⌠BeeeeeeeeepâŚ
âCome on,â you muttered. âCome on, come on, come on, pick upâ!!â
⌠BeeeeeeeepâŚ
âŚ
âHey, youâve reached the voice mail of Dick Grayson, just shoot me a text and Iâllââ
You hung up.
This was bad. This was so bad. Something bad is happening, and youâre not even sure if Dickâs okay. Hell, you saw how big that explosion was. Is he even fucking alive?!
You couldnât help but utter a watery, ânoâŚâ
Youâre not going through this again.
Without a second to spare, your legs began to carry you forward in a full sprint. You werenât exactly sure where the explosion went off, and itâs not like youâre all that familiar with BlĂźdhaven just yet to know where any possible candidates for a robbery could be, but you followed the smoke pillars like a beacon, gauging how close you were based on the surrounding sirens. People stood like statues on the sidewalks to ogle at evidence of destruction wafting through the sky, and no cars dared to run you over as you cut through the streets.
âCome on, Dick,â you said between huffs. âPleaseâ please be okay..!!â
He had to be okay.
You couldnât lose someone else in your life.
#⼠TW: YANDERE#⼠LIFE WITH OLDER BROTHER#⼠YANDERE CHARACTER#⼠PLATONIC YANDERE#⼠YANDERE DICK GRAYSON#⼠YANDERE DICK GRAYSON X READER
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hello! i rlly love your blog and the way you explain things
how do i just apply? whenever i do i stress that iâm doing it wrong because i feel overwhelmed by the amount of info and things i have to make sure iâm doing right then i spiral and over consume again. i donât want to rely on tumblr anymore.
whatâs the simplest way to apply all of this and just âmanifestâ (i donât rlly like this word bc it implies thereâs a process or that iâm trying to get) my dream life? thank you
hi! ty!
it takes some courage! i also read a lot as a way to feel secure, but eventually i just got tired and just decided 'i have no more fears from this day on! done with this!' and i made it a practise to stop avoiding myself whenever something comes up
its all very natural, i can't say how you'll just finally decide that your over this lol
"whenever i do i stress that iâm doing it wrong because i feel overwhelmed by the amount of info"
well, learn how to stop yourself in the moment. you're putting too much pressure on your character! it only know what it knows now, it will not accept anything outside of what it already knows! thats why you leave it alone. read all you want to read, but stop when you feel like you have to. like you must. let yourself relax.
"i donât want to rely on tumblr anymore."
good! keep going!
"whatâs the simplest way to apply all of this"
just do it. try it and see. something that is a recurent theme in all the posts and book i read, is to try it. experiment. just for this one moment, let all the worries go. promise to never make problems for yourself again. you've given up troubles now, no more. just test it and see. surrender. let the mind cry and scream, for this moment, you won't allow it to deter you from freedom.
i'll give a list of stuff that helped me
theres only now -> stop bringing the past to now, learn to sit in the present moment
stop avoiding emotions, sit with the fear, discomfort etc
you already are Self! nothing can undo that!
be patient
non attachment (or detachment)
experiment - take something you already know and test it
question everything
find out what are the stories you want, what the desire will supposedly give you
it is not necessary to get rid of thoughts or images just stop deriving identity from them
"am i arguing for my limitations?"
soon more lovely thoughts and images will appear in your awareness and you can choose what you want
can you outgrow it? not you. observe it? not you. in the absense of it, you don't dissapear? not you.
be okay with not having it. get to a place where no one and no thing can disturb you (and your happiness and peace)
just see how absurd all this shit is. like i was born? what was it like before i was born? why is it normal to hear your voice in your head? no one knows what tomorrow is but we all worry abt it, where tf does the voice in your head come from? how can we actually identify feelings, what if the feeling pride isn't actually pride and you've been lied to? do you know how crazy this is for an infant?! we say we are an [x] person and that changes and so we say we are an [y] person, so who are we?? if we can change like that? being a human is confusing, seek the truth out and question all
just start to disidentify as the body-mind. when you disidentify as the body-mind you'll start to feel better as all the pressure you put on your character falls away. this will intice you to keep going as you feel freer!
have fun!! go and live life!! appriciate what you have now - this is all expressing the character, omnipr3sence, perfectly! you'll start to see "i barely thought abt x 2 days ago and now i see it here lol" "i was worrying about y and now i see it here too" "oh so this comes along with being the character too, maybe i should change that story"
you're in your own dream, see it as your dream and you'll start seeing the connections.
no need to convince the character, just move on. let yourself doubt this 'reality'
disclaimer: i'm still learning too! so please keep practising and have your own epiphanies!
reading
habit
no need to convince
behaviour
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The sad thing is? I predicted this.
Yeah, so I've been gone from Tumblr for a while, I know. I had my major surgery back in the second week of October and have been home recuperating for two weeks now.
But I wanted to come on here tonight to vent a little about the presidential election.
Because even though there was a part of me that dared to hope even just a little, I KNEW this was going to happen. And I called it the minute Joe Biden was forced to drop out of the race, back in July.
This is the text message exchange I had with my sister the day he announced he was dropping out:
And let me make this clear: I'm a born and raised California native. I voted for Kamala Harris for both DA and Senate. I voted for her and very much wanted her to win.
But I know this damn country. I saw how Obama was treated and the freakout and build-up of white supremacy after he won twice. That's why 45 got in in the first place.
And as I said in the text to my sister? Never in the 4 other times that Democrats have replaced a candidate this late in the process has that candidate won. Ever. Only those who've never studied political history thought doing such a thing would actually work.
Anyone who called for Biden to drop out? Congrats, you fell for the most obvious Chaos OP EVER.
I don't usually talk politics on Tumblr. I save that for Twitter. But now that Apartied Clyde has taken it over and this mess has happened, I plan to delete my Twitter account by the end of the week. The only reason I'm not doing it sooner is so that those who only follow me there can catch me before I delete it.
Anyway, I can't even cry or be sad about this. I already went through that stuff when Biden dropped out. I'm just kinda numb. And tired. And disgusted. But, at least thanks to my dad, I feel like I very much saw this coming thanks to his lessons on this country and race/racism. He and my mother both lived through Jim Crow and so yeah, they knew.
"This is not who we are" some are saying.
Yes, it damn well IS who we are. And it's who we've always been. I can give you a history lesson, and I'm not just talking about slavery, civil rights, and the 19th Amendment. I'm talking about Lee Atwater, Nixon, and the Southern Strategy. All that has happened between 2016 and now is a full culmination of that.
A majority of white Americans would rather destroy the American Republic than share equal power with black people. (With misogyny and misogyny thrown in there as well.) I wish I could be surprised by that, but I sadly am not.
And this tweet pretty much sums up my feelings regarding what's next:
I'm still healing from my surgery. Once that's done and I am 100%, it's about me and my loved ones now, protecting the few remaining ones I have left. (I am SO thankful that none of my close family or still-close friends voted for that man . . . but then, the majority of them are black women too, so . . .)
Because this country has pretty much shown black people that we are hated -- and always will be on our own.
Everything my parents and grandparents fought for regarding Civil Rights will be gone now. The only thing I can be thankful for is that none of them are alive anymore to see this.
I NEVER thought I'd live to see the end of the republic but here we are. And done by people willfully voting to give it up because, as I said back in July, a majority of white people in this country would rather destroy the country than share power with black people.
#politcs#2024 election#race#racism#I'm so glad I had my surgery early#but now I've got some other things to figure out.#because get ready for the ACA Medicare and Medicaid to all be gone#Social Security too#oh and if your college loans were forgiven? Ha!#that shit is coming back#(thank goodness I didn't have any student loans at least)#But now I have to figure some other things out
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ANNOUNCEMENT
âââ
i know i havenât posted for nearly 2 months already at this point, but iâm here i guess to announce an official hiatus or, i guess iâll call it a semi-hiatus ..
i didnât bother to mention it before cuz honestly i think my community here has just become pretty dead and not very salvageable atp unless i work my ass off to try keeping it alive. and this is NOTTT to sound all emo teenager âwoe is meâ but, during these last 2 months i havenât gotten any asks or messages from anyone noticing that i was gone except for the one anon i just responded to a few hours ago, so i honestly just figured it wouldnât really matter whether i made a hiatus post or not đ¤ˇđťââď¸ it is what it is.
my blog and the community i had here never really returned to what it used to be after my last hiatus no matter how hard i tried, and these days unfortunately the only way to stay remotely relevant or on anyoneâs radar is to devote all of your spare time and energy here which i just simply cannot do.
even if i could afford to do that, i just have zero desire to fight to put in so much effort just so that people donât forget about me or my works. thatâs not what tumblr was supposed to be about. iâm tired.
a lot of it is also me at war with my own thoughts, and i hope that one day i can reach a place again where iâm happy just writing for myself even if my work doesnât feel as appreciated as hoped for. and i hope as well that writing can be what it used to be for me: a passion and not a burden. these are mindsets that i need to start working on for myself.
anyways. iâm not leaving leaving, i still come on here at times to read stuff and see what my moots are up to so, iâll still be around to interact on posts and stuff.. and as for writing i guess iâll just.. post something if i happen to feel like it or when i have enough energy đ¤ˇđťââď¸ idk i really do miss it but my drive for this blog is just down the toilet atp as well as my general mental health and i havenât even written for 2 months now so.. (although i have been considering trying to write again recently so weâll see)
i love you all, i thank you for all the support; my dms and inbox are ofc still always open for interactions but i guess this is now an indefinite semi-hiatus.
see you when i see you.
xx minji
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We talk a lot about weird shippers behavior and all that fandom etiquette and all that, which is right. But not enough about the people that get borderline violent towards lestappen. Because why are people on twitter lowkey having a meltdown over that meme video. Saying stuff like "omg he's so done with that already đ" like yeah of course, it's an overused meme. But like it's not that deep, I'm sure he just, sighs and moves on?? And people get lowkey weird about it like "He's tired, he's angry đĄ". Idk. Or the typical "lestappies are so delusional, they don't even talk to each other" like okay?? what's the problem then? If it's SO delusional, why don't you just, ignore it? But anyways, some people that are so fervently against it are kinda weird too. Because, me for example don't see why people would like Landoscar so much, it's one of the most rancid ships for me, yet I would never be so loud about it because what do I care??. Idk. Also you should see the quotes in some post that could be just a picture of them two, is like people get triggered or something (???
Twitter for me generally is something to avoid because itâs so ill-suited to fandom. Stuff thatâs considered more controversial is always going to get more interactions because of the algorithm so people tend to cry about RPF being âmorally wrongâ and then use ships to interaction bait anyway. Donât get me wrong RPF is definitely a grey area but tumblr in general has always been slightly more adult about it because itâs its own self-contained ecosystem. None of you know my real name or my face and weâre going to keep it that way. None of you know my follower count and weâre going to keep it that way. None of this is done for interactions itâs all done because we LIKE being here and know this is a safe space for something that yeah, is a little weird, but the self-containment means that the chance of us doing any sort of harm is practically zero.
I saw a tweet the other day being like âomg im so scared to have 16 and 33 in my bio because I just like them I donât want people thinking I want them to fuck nasty because thatâs grossâ and Iâm justâI would be willing to bet an extraordinary amount of money that person reads RPF. I would be willing to bet similar for a huge amount of people leaving lestappen âhateâ. It comes from some misplaced sense of justice to âpoliceâ RPF and it being more important for an individual to be seen to be âmorally correctâ than protecting a community who really, isnât harming anyone and just trying to keep to ourselves. Iâm definitely not walking around in my everyday life telling everybody about how I think Max and Charles are #truesoulmates, in fact I have friends who are very chronically offline who I often chat about F1 with and I would never DREAM of telling them about this blog or expressing anything I say here because I know the only time and place for that remains either with my friends Iâve met through here or on here.
TLDR: Twitter is filled with people who need to be seen as morally right and for some reason have decided that Lestappen is their current crusade of choice, despite the fact all that really does is increase visibility of the ship to people who may be involved. I would just try your best to ignore it.
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