#it was actually so funny

[insanity-laughs-under-pressure]

[devilish-parrot]

was infodumping about miracle musical to my friend and i was talking REALLY fast so my other friend behind me started beatboxing as if i was rapping

me:HAWAIIPARTIIWASRELEASEDONDECEMBERTWELFTHTWOTHOUSANDTEWLVEATTWELVETWELVEAMWHENTHEMAYANCALENDARPREDICTEDTHEWORLDTOEND

friend A: *wide-eyed*

friend B: is this eminem? *starts beatboxing*

me, still: BUTIFYOUPREORDEREDTHEDIGITALRELASEONSEPTEMBERELEVENTHTWOTHOUSANDELEVENTHESONGVARIATIONSONACLOUDWOULDSTARTPLAYING.

[tongues--and--teeth]

First day in the town square: jumped a middle schooler

this did happen.

[coco-loco-nut]

If you haven't watched Lando playing F1 24 on youtube... watch it. it's so funny

[c1ittorus]

i found the post i made on my old blog that ended with a biphobe telling me to go off myself bc i called myself gay lmaooo

[buzzbeezz7]

i remember i had this friend who was a trans man and wasn’t out to his parents and one day his mom asked if he was a lesbian because he dressed like a guy

[calicocas]

oh btw i was at the anime con as castiel and everyone loved it . if u even care

[blindhades]

last night i dreamt a new disney plus tv advertisement where jiminy cricket sang a jingle telling you to get disney plus to watch 'who framed roger rabbit'

[club-penguin]

today I was cutting a pork bun for my friends and I and my one friend said "Wow you're such a good cutter!" and I was like

[cutiemisu]

ryoko kui: bet

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[spookberry]

this came to me in a vision

[planefood]

rules for thee and not for me

[thunderon]

so my roommate is completely straight edge like no drugs no alcohol etc and so im sure y’all can imagine my surprise when i saw she brought home this sign

so i immediately inquired

and now you may ask. what the fuck did my roommate think that sign meant? well

anyways i moved the sign so it’s now front and center in our living room and ive been laughing every time i pass it

[gossippool]

one of the funniest parts of the honda odyssey scene is right after logan pulls the car over because he's so obviously burning with rage over wade lying to him, but then wade says he made an "educated wish" and that bewilders logan so much he goes from being mad to just blinking and staring at him like this

and then wade goes on that long spiel about how he needs to save his family and at the end of all that logan just says "did you say you made an educated fucking wish?" his baffled ass was NOT listening 😭

[everwalldigan]

(Dick coming to collect Jason after he’s been “wrongfully” captured by the justice league while Batman is off world:)

Dick: Listen, Hood might be a criminal, but he’s one of Gotham’s. And he’s my brother.

JL: he killed 80 people in two days.

Dick: …he’s adopted?

Jason, glaring while bound to a chair: SO ARE YOU???