#it was a very surreal experience
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what murder?
#sebastian sallow#hogwarts legacy#my screencaps#i saw one of these used on tiktok#it was a very surreal experience
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Can't believe I forgot to tell y'all about last weekend
I went to Comic Con in London and it ended with me recording a video with Maurice LaMarche, the voice actor of The Brain from Pinky and The Brain, that he sent to Cary Elwes for his birthday
#about me#it was a very surreal experience#I also met and chatted with Damien Haas and Alex Brightman#and got told a fun behind the scenes story from Nolan North
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the thing about being a disabled grad student is that if you want even half a chance you constantly have to not only reveal but interrogate and explain your softest most vulnerable parts. while people around you act like this is just completely normal and actually that is not the softest most vulnerable part of you and actually you are exactly the same as all of them. so you feel like you are in disguise as exactlythesame while also completely exposed. and you just have to live like that. absolutely insane
#mod felix#general disclaimer that this is my experience and this is how i feel and not necessarily how everyone feels obviously#but . i feel this way . currently#well and i think part of it is that like... people act like the institution isn't actively hostile to like. any marginalized person really#i mean this post is about disability but i'm sure it applies to other people too#and if you read this and say 'this is also how it feels to be x' i see and support you#anyway. posting this here because like... i feel like as a blog with a relatively large (for tumblr) audience like.#i feel the need to be honest and transparent about my experiences in academia#because i know there are people following us who like. want to be in academia or who already are#and like . i really like the program i'm in and i'm learning a lot but it's also a very hard thing to do even if you're totally abled#which like. i'll be honest i think the sort of person who says 'i want to learn ancient greek for the rest of my life'#is unlikely to be totally abled#like i'm not the only disabled person in my program either. and most people i interact with like.#have a base level of understanding about disability#but it's still like... surreal to operate in like. an institution that puts pressure on everyone to act like disability doesn't exist#i feel like there's just like. constant dissonance
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Y'all have got to realize there are ways to protect older teens from sexual predators without insisting that teenagers don't think about sex or sexuality until the magical moment exactly 18 years from their birth. Trying to reduce harm to teenagers (especially teenagers online!) is a good and valid goal but pretending none of them have ever viewed porn or fucked isn't it. You've gotta acknowledge that if they don't have safe ways to explore their sexuality with peers they are going to explore in unsafe ways & that secrecy, shame, and censorship are what open the door to predators & allow them to normalize unhealthy power dynamics.
Shit like (professed) minors allegedly being on ezra's site is most likely the result of that community being the only thing they could find that treated them as like, humans with autonomy and desire, and that's a pattern that plays out with adult exploitation of teens in-person too (the "you're so mature for your age" routine). Of course teenagers exploring sexuality for the first time fell into a community that told them they weren't bad for being attracted to adults or having sexual desire in the first place! Thing is, an "Adult Attracted Minor" is like, the default state of teenagerdom.
The shit that's actually been demonstrated to help with this isn't carceral whackamoling of bad actors - it's giving teenagers education about healthy relationships and power dynamics and safe sex and yeah, kink, and also giving them the autonomy to make their own decisions about sex. Specifically, you let them know that it's normal to be attracted to adults but that adults trying to date or fuck them are in a position of power that means those relationships can't be healthy. In absence of that, teens are vulnerable to the first adult that appeals to their need to be taken seriously. And for fucks sake, using "minor" to equate teens with young children in these cases makes this tactic easier for abusers to pull off, not harder, because it is self-evident to teens that they have more capacity for autonomy than the average 8 year old. Sure, it makes the people you're targeting in your callout Sound Worse, but it also immediately loses you credibility in the eyes of teenagers themselves.
And for fucks sake, don't let a handful of bad actors using a leftist framing for that old song and dance lead you to believe that's what youth lib is about OR take away focus from all the times the right wing has systemically & institutionally done this.
#csa tw#posting this may very well be inviting piss on the poor levels of bad faith but it's important#I've seen the doc & based on the professional experience I have I'd be surprised if LE actually takes action anyway?#it's uh. always surreal to see how badly the internet handles this shit & meanwhile have multiple years of professional experience on it#like even when allegations are reasonable there's still a lot that seems more designed to stir a mob than help kids#toonimal#ezra orena#also like. the fallout from this one to people who are obviously unconnected and just easy to target? bad bad bad bad bad#csa prevention
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i get that gore can be fun but the way some of y’all will post/reblog actual corpses on here for “aesthetic” as if that’s not someone’s loved one is fucking disgusting. the internet has rotted some of y’all’s brains so bad that you forget you’re circulating images of an actual fucking dead body, someone who had a life and people who cared about them. imagine if one of your loved ones died tragically and photos of their body were getting passed around the internet. look inward, your humanity is close to gone.
#believe me seeing dead ppl irl is not fucking ‘aesthetic’ it is so so so harrowing#i remember my first time in a cadaver lab and having the surreal experience of uncovering someone’s face#my brain could not compartmentalize at that point and i was temporarily very disturbed by the feelings it brought up#it sickens me that people take that vulnerability and use it to churn out ‘content’#and believe me i get the general idea!! fake gore in movies is fun!! someone voluntarily posting body mods or stitches or other injuries#can be interesting/cool to look at!#just literally take two seconds and think about what you’re posting/circulating#there is a line
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Something happened in the House of Hope...
This is a huge thing that I feel like I have to post here as well.
I recently had the incredible privilege to interview THE Andrew Wincott and ask him all about his work as the Devil we know: Raphael (and Haarlep 🤭) in BG3, voice acting, Shakespeare, travelling, movies, etc. 🥹🎉
This has been a big dream of mine and man, he's just such a lovely guy to talk to and I've already admired him and his talent a whole lot beforehand, but after our 3 hour talk, I absolutely adored him!
The full interview will be uploaded on my YouTube channel soon, so keep an eye out and do subscribe, if you're interested!
▶️🎬 -> LenaKingsleigh 👀
I hope you can soon join us in the House of Hope 🔥
#bg3 raphael#raphael bg3#andrew wincott#raphael the cambion#baldur's gate 3 raphael#baldurs gate iii#raphael baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate 3#interview#interview with the devil#this was insane#such a sweetheart#how am I so lucky#what an experience#very excited#respectfully sir you look gorgeous#i adore him#actor interviews#voice acting#youtube#coming soon#teaser#someone pinch me#this is still so surreal to me#bg3 fandom#listen up#i was so nervous#brb crying
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🌴🎾
#it's absolutely bonkers that you can get this close to players at iw#it very much gives just some guy when you're right there watching them practice#like you're suddenly aware this is just some 20 y/o kid from spain. why am i gawking at him#surreal experience#carlos alcaraz#juan carlos ferrero#tennis#indian wells 2k24#aaaaand that's a wrap on indian wells. one of the best trips of my life. loved every minute of it 🫶🏻
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finally stepped foot on the sacred grounds of miraculous ladybug
#so i went outside to touch grass and ended up in. paris#it has been a Weekend <- ticked off the list every possible tourist attraction (and a few underrated spots) in less than 4 days#and man. that is one big city#excellent food. surreal views. strange but wonderful sensation of seeing that famous landmarks/paintings/french ppl actually exist#also great place to converse in all the languages you know :D it's like the whole world is there#history all around. very musical. spotted a little girl in a lb onesie. the grass-touching was literal (had to see that one stadium)#got a custom shirt of my fav player and a dazai noodle stopper. also the muscle soreness of all time <- all of them thoroughly worth it#yk i COULD proudly say i was just plagging around paris- except no lazing around was done whatsoever#quite possibly the experience of the year 😌#now if you'll excuse me i need to sleep until christmas
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Kind of weird how much i love brutal stuff in art like gore and etc but I ABSOLUTELY can't stomach it in horror movies or. Anything else. I fucking hate brutal horror movies and etc
#had a VERY strange surreal experience rn. found some horrible stuff and i seriously fucking dissociated#or. idk how should i call it. i think I've had fucking hallucinations or something . never did some pictures made me feel so physically sic#k#jessusss chriistttt#talk.pmp#for deletion#i mean it probably would be much weirder if i didn't have any reaction but it was so strong I'm just taken aback rn#sheesh
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THIS IS MY WORLD
#this is like deep spanish lore but la gira!!!!#an original spanish disney channel show 😌😌😌#also andrea guasch was in the mythical al salir de clase another original disney channel show#andrea gil was my first celebrity crush btw AND i got to see her in la llamada <3#i need to know. for my latam people#a vosotres os salía al salir de clase o la gira o alguna otra serie española en disney channel???#lo pregunto porque como nosotres veiamos tambien patito feo y violetta y estas series no sé si era recíproco o no#also!!! while on the topic of spanish disney channel show#they made this other one. i cannot remember the name. but they filmed all the school shots in my school lol#it was definitely a very surreal experience#it was about a family i think??? idk it was extremwly low budget and didn't last long#but yeah!!! that and the elite high school being the university next to my grandma's house are the two 'too close to home' film locations#that have given me psychic damage#oh and i guess the palace in my town but that one appears all the time on masterchef so i'm used to it
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Randomly feeling stabby about someone making you feel like you’re too much to hang out with vs. Being embraced for yourself wholeheartedly
#yes this is about Taylor in general#a video of her and Travis at the Super Bowl hit my feed and let me be clear I don’t do the tayvis thing#like I’m happy for her but I don’t ‘ship’ them or whatever the fuck Twitter does#but like… that’s the biggest event of his career and some men would have easily been like#’please don’t come on the field and steal my thunder’ and instead he was just a guy and she was just a girl#and that’s the first time she’s ever experienced that level of normality in her life even amidst a very surreal experience#and it took until her mid 30s for it to happen!!! what the fuck!!!
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Fearing a doctors appointment but then you find out the doctor is actually the most amazing medical professional you have ever met in your life and he? Actually? Genuinely? Cares???
Is this what it feels like to be high?
#i very nearly combust into tears and declare my undying love#holy shit the tests didn't even get any results and he still said that if i was in pain there was obviously a problem#and i got a referral for physical therapy and he referred me to a neurologist??#i didn't know he could do that?#he said my issues could be 'neurological functional or psychiatric' but that he didn't like saying anything was psychiatric because then#everyone writes you off#this was a elder white man as well#he gets it?#surreal fucking experience#chronic illness#chronic pain#doctors#disability#disabled#chronically ill#positive experiences!
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Some things, Simon’s Quest again d(^^ ). I drew him a lot the past year god damn. I am never gonna run out of images of this guy, he’s like half my whole camera roll. Also those first three images are still like some of my favorite drawings ever, the vibes fr fr, they still hold up. I need to redraw and make a color version of the main one someday hmmm. And yeah there’s some silly doodles too lol, awkwardly cropped cause Instagram in some of them but eh.
#castlevania#castlevania games#simon belmont#art post#my art#simon’s quest#Simon is pulling some mad all nighters rn#he’s gonna be awake for a whole week straight got damn#also I love how surreal this game is#someone on like idk Reddit or something I don’t remember#very nicely described the experience as like#a bizarre anti game#and like playing a nightmare#and that’s so badass!!!!!!!#Simon’s Quest is really like#I made like a fucked up version of Castlevania haha#just a glimpse into my dark reality#a full stare into my twisted perspective would make most simply go insane lmao#and i appreciate that#I swear I have more art that’s not just Simon again#hahaha I promise there’s more we’re almost there
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He’s so scary I love him
#ashamed to admit I got into steves other roles and stuff because of portal#this movie was actually pretty entertaining#tooth fairy 2010#seeing the rock kiss Stephen merchant during karaoke was a surreal experience#it wasn’t in the movie but it must’ve been some extra dvd scene. I found it on YouTube#stephen merchant#tracy the caseworker#the rock was super funny in that movie too#actually good character development#very pleasing
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If I had a nickel for every time an artist I admire reblogged a screenshot of my tags on their Rain World art, I'd have 2 nickels...
#Reks Speaks#Take a shot for every time I say something along the lines of 'What I'm surprised people like my tags!' you'd die#I guess even after all these years I'm still really shocked my words do truly reach people#Though that could be due to my mindset of 'I'd like the artist to see this but if they don't that's okay!'#But I'm always expecting the don't part#Then they do see and and then they like if enough to share other while thanking me#It's a very surreal experience but I'm incredibly happy that I managed to make them happy#Even for a little while :}#Also one of these artists in question is Fly. Hello Fly 👋#Also side note I didn't know my tags could get where that huge CHRIST#The 30 tag + 140 word limit is the only thing stopping my tendrils from taking over fully
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Appointment went fine. Got everything sorted out & got confirmation that I should be able to graduate in the spring.
I also officially applied to graduate.
Got so overwhelmed by this & my grief over the fact that my dad won't be there for it that I ended up crying in the bathroom over it. 👍 but it's a good thing overall. Just. You Know.
#speculation nation#i am Not someone prone to tears so this is very strange.#could count the number of times ive cried in public on my two hand (excluding when i was a kid or at like. funerals.)#can honestly say ive never cried like this in a public bathroom stall before. what a novel experience.#thank god no one's come in tho. which. im still there lol ive been here for like 25 minutes now#got the emotions out tho. and im gonna go eat smth. and then get back to work on my midterm assignment.#dont have very long so i need to do it when im on campus. bc i wont have the motivation at home.#but for now. need to get some food. decompress a bit. and then get to work.#genuinely kind of crazy. i applied to graduate. that feels so surreal.#it's been almost 10 years after all. but finally. Finally... im almost there.#doesnt feel real. still feel pretty overwhelmed. but my schoolwork wont wait for me.#i need to make sure that i do graduate. need to pass all my classes and pass them well.#and man someone just came in lol. almost half an hour after i got here. really is my cue to get going lol#agh. sometimes i hate having emotions.
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