I don't know how to human. i don't like to human. i spend more time on Ao3 than I spend interacting with people.
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Text
Hot take but disability benefits assessors are more of a drain on society than disabled people
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
One thing about disability and chronic illness that always seems to get overlooked and/or forgotten is how much more difficult normal health issues become. Things like colds, minor injuries like scrapes and bruises, localised infections... Stuff like that doesn't stop happening to you just because you have other, bigger health issues. But they can be a lot more complicated and difficult to deal with if you're already disabled.
#Did you know that chronicl bad circulation in your legs can lead to nail fungus? I sure didn't#It's not like it's a huge thing but i can't treat it by myself. The salve is so thick i can't press it out of the tube. I have trouble#Reaching my feet#Makes things a lot more difficult and i need help for it every single day#disability#disabled#chronic illness#chronically ill#shadows talk
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Gender + species dysphoria but being too disabled to do anything about it fucking sucks. And always looking sick just makes it worse. I look like a fucking skeleton with my bones poking out in the most disgusting ways and no matter what i do i can barely keep my weight, never mind gaining any. Sickly pale to the point i almost look white is a special kind of horror in itself.
Can't even go to an actual hairdresser because i can't wear masks while getting my hair cut. Can't bleach or dye my hair or use makeup because i react allergic to all of it. Can't bind because compression binders aren't safe for my weak ribs and i'm allergic to tape. Can't even glue on fake piercings because they're all so small i can't hold them. Can't get any actual piercings, including earrings, for a multitude of reasons. Same for tattoos. Can't start hrt because it's lower priority than the other five hundred doctors and specialists i need to go to and there's only so many appointments i can manage in a week.
I hate the fact that i look human at all and there's literally nothing i can do to channge my appearance in any way
#Did i have a minor breakdown and ended up not leaving the house to go shopping because if it's not medically necessary i can barely make#Myself go outside and instead spent the day hiding in bed? No definitely not haha why would i do that...#It is taking significant effort to keep convincing myself to not give into the urge to cut up my face#The only thing keeping me from doing it so far is that i really do not want to get sectioned ever again#A dozen times was enough for me thanks#self harm#Tw self harm#body dysphoria#gender dysphoria#tw dysphoria#species dysphoria#Weight talk#tw weight talk#cw weight talk#disability#disabled#chronic illness#chronically ill#how is this my life??#why is this my life??#fuck my life#shadows talk
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
I can't sleep on my stomach because that fucks up just about all of my joints. Sleeping on my back messes with my digestive system and massively fucks up my neckband back. Sleeping on my side fucks up my shoulders, hips and ribcage.
So now I'm working on learning how to sleep while hovering in the air without touching anything! I'll update as i make progress on that!
#No but seriously how am i supposed to not worsen my joints if no matter what i do throughout the day#As soon as it's time to sleep i have to choose which joints to sacrifice??#Best sleeping position is on my side supported with a lot of pillows but it's still the number one reason why my shoulders have gotten so#Much worse over the last months#Just. Frustrating#How am i supposed to sleep?#disability#disabled#chronic illness#chronically ill#hypermobility#hypermobile eds#hypermobile ehlers danlos#how is this my life??#why is this my life??#fuck my life#shadows talk
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
Had an appointment with my orthopedist and told him that i need a specialist's report on the necessity of a stairlift so i could get financial aid for it approved. He just stared at my wheelchair, then at me, then back at my wheelchair. Looking back at me, slightly incredulous "...okay what exactly do they want now?"
#it visibly took effort for him not to ask “isn't it obvious?”#Very entertaining when doctors find out about all the things the government demands to assess for any kind of disability benefits or#Financial aid for accommodations#The despairing look of 'oh my god all these people are stupid'#I got the report read it and was so amused because he specifically listed 'wheelchair reliant' under diagnosis in the report#The report also basically reads 'in my opinion as a specialist doctor#the stairlift is necessary. Patient needs to be able to leave the house"#It's like three sentences and so politely passive aggressive#shadows talk#disability#disabled#chronic illness#chronically ill#ableism
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
Being a horror fan with intrusive thoughts and a tendency towards hallucinations and paranoia is one hell of a combo
#Am i too scared to turn the lights off because i watched one episode of an anime? Haha... No... That'd never happen to me... Ha...ha...#I love horror and horror imagery and i enjoy a good horror genre show or movie but the after is... Not particularly enjoyable#Movies and tv shows are the one thing i still have though i'm not giving any of it up just because my brain decides to act like a scared ki#Still annoying though#shadows talk#mentally ill#mental illness#Ocd#ocd intrusive thoughts
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Me: yeah most often it's my feet and legs but sometimes it can be my whole body and it'll be so cold i can't really move or feel anything properly but i also don't realize i'm cold until i'm warmed up again
My doctor: alright that's... weird and definitely not good and we need to look into those temperature regulation issues. But, i mean, that isn't happening with these hot summer temperatures, right? (Clearly asked as a rhetorical question)
Me: oh no it happened again like four days ago!
My doctor: 😐
#I always go to my gp with new topics and symptoms that she's never had to deal with before#Gotta keep things interesting#disability#disabled#chronic illness#chronically ill#temperature regulation#shadows talk
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just cracked my back and something fucking crinkled. What the fuck. My back cracking is kind of extreme but it's fine. But what the everloving fuck just made a crinkling noise in my back?? My entire spine cracking and popping? Fine, normal, the goal even. However little crinkly sounds towards the side?? Inside of my back??? Not normal?????
#I hate this never ending game of 'find out what part of your body just made that weird noise and how'#And i really hate new noises being added#Just ugh#disability#disabled#chronic illness#chronically ill#joint hypermobility#hypermobile ehlers danlos#hypermobile eds#how is this my life??#why is this my life??#fuck my life#shadows talk
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
Discussed my body's (lack of) temperature regulation with my GP and the baffled, despairing look of wtf she gave me after i told her about that time i randomly got frostbite in july was truly epic.
#She is awesome and nearly everytime i have an appointment i have something i hadn't yet managed to bring up and baffle her#Confusing doctors with my weird symptoms is very entertaining to me#It's very enjoyable#chronic illness#chronically ill#disability#disabled#temperature regulation#shadows talk
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
Really hate how my father could barely be a part of my life, then not at all and somehow he's still a fucking problem. Like, I have zero contact or interaction, not even indirect, absolutely nothing. And still he's making things difficult without even doing anything. Annoying as hell
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
“You shouldn’t self-ID as ADHD/autistic, you’re turning a very real mental condition into a trend” Ok then stop saying delulu. Stop speculating on which cluster C personality disorder the criminals you hear about on the news have. Stop saying “schizoposting” and “acoustic” and “is it restarted?” Stop using “psycopath” and “sociopath” as catch-all ways of calling someone a bad person. Stop saying “the intrusive thoughts won” when you bleach your hair and then turn your nose up at people who suffer from very real, very scary urges of physical/sexual violence. Stop saying “I’m so OCD” as a way of calling yourself neat. Stop treating BPD/ASPD/Bipolar as inherently abusive. Stop saying “OP I am living in your walls” without tagging for unreality. Stop diagnosing complete strangers you’ve never met on r/AITA with NPD.
You first. If you don’t want our disabilities to be treated like trends then stop belittling and minimising them. I’ll NEVER judge a person for trying find labels for their symptoms when an apathetic, racist, sexist, ableist healthcare system refuses to. But I will absolutely judge a hypocrite. Which a lot of you are
75K notes
·
View notes
Text
Also if you listen to your body and don't eat stuff you hate, it can be a lot healthier than forcing yourself to eat it anyways. Sincerely, a picky eater who found out all the fruits and vegetables they've always hated are high histamine and are actually making them sick. There's no need to force yourself and your body.
I am judging everyone who judges even their friends for being a picky eater. It's rude as hell
people are absolutely EVIL about the boundaries of "picky eaters". no, they do not have to try it. yes, they can know they don't like it without having eaten it before. no, they probably have not suddenly grown a taste for the food they've said they hate. no, they probably are not going to like it in the Special Way This One Place Cooks It. yes, you are being a bad friend if you try to "trick" them into eating it anyway
137K notes
·
View notes
Text
Fatigue is kicking my ass so bad at the moment 😭 i just wanna be able to hold onto a thought until i finish the thought. They all just keep slipping away. And then i forget and then with a lot of effort and focus i remember again only for it to slip away again. Rinse and repeat about five times for every thought i'm trying to finish.
#I do not want to know how slow my speech is rn#disability#disabled#chronic illness#chronically ill#Fatigue#Chronic fatigue#me/cfs#shadows talk
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
Why do i always feel like i wasted the whole day and did nothing at all on the days i did unusually much? That feeling is somehow always strongest on the days i had a lot of appointments, went on shopping trips, cleaned, organised paperwork and was generally productive. It really seems like it should be the other way around
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
you ever realize how able bodied people just are not expected to do things that cause them excruciating physical pain? like they’re just. not
if i shouldn’t use my cane because i can sometimes technically walk without it, it would just hurt like a motherfucker then abled people should no longer be allowed to use potholders to take things out of the oven because i mean
well they could technically pick up a hot pan with their bare hands. it would just hurt like a motherfucker
148K notes
·
View notes
Text
you ever realize how able bodied people just are not expected to do things that cause them excruciating physical pain? like they’re just. not
if i shouldn’t use my cane because i can sometimes technically walk without it, it would just hurt like a motherfucker then abled people should no longer be allowed to use potholders to take things out of the oven because i mean
well they could technically pick up a hot pan with their bare hands. it would just hurt like a motherfucker
148K notes
·
View notes