#it was a really selective one cause they had very very few spaces but. still >:(

[thebirdandthebee]

Morning Snack | Aemond Targaryen

This is my first time writing in the House of the Dragon universe, so please be kind! Don't expect perfect historical accuracy - but I just love this character so much.

featuring | Aemond "One-Eye" Targaryen x Reader

length | 1k words (a shorty!)

synopsis | You're worried about your shape, and your husband's lack of worry about his.

warnings | 18+ MDNI! Fluff + implied smut

One thing that drove you mad about your husband was just how often he could eat. That is, eat and maintain his lithe figure. Sure, he was in the training yard every day, keeping his shape inadvertently, as it was clear he never once had to think about the harsh pull of a corset, but you were certain he could eat more in one day than some homes ate in a week.

It wasn’t uncommon to see the Prince walking the halls of the Red Keep with an apple in his hand, or reaching for a sweet in his pocket.

Aside from snacks, he would quietly and cleanly go through two, three, sometimes four plates of food at supper - the cook prepping and preparing extra venison just for the second son.

When the two of you would take dinner in your bedchambers, there was often a small, second table brought in to hold plates as they normally would not fit on your given space.

Only once and a while, as you ran into your husband throughout the grounds, would you catch just a crumb or two on his black doublet - a sure sign he’d been ordering shortbread to his meeting room during the day.

Besides the fact that you hadn’t seen his measurements change in the 16 months you’d been betrothed and married, there were no obvious signs of his intake.

Today, as your ladies in waiting braced a foot up on the bedpost to pull your laces tighter and tighter, the sight of Aemond’s keen eye scanning a selection of cheeses from your tea table nearly sent you into a frenzy.

“Thank you,” you grimaced before dismissing your ladies maids for the morning - now that you’d been picked, prodded and parsed away into a cascade of deep emerald velvet.

“Thought I’d join you for tea, my love,” Aemond said quietly, just barely breaking eye contact with the spread of fruit, cured meat and treats alongside the soft cheeses on the hutch near your common area.

“Oh really? Because you missed my company?” You supplied, striding across the room, sure you could feel your ribs straining beneath the whelped whale bone stitched into your garments.

“I always enjoy your company, sweet wife,” Aemond assured, raising his look to meet yours, but hand still hovering over a particularly ripe looking apricot.

“Are you sure you aren’t just here for the tea? I can excuse myself so you can be alone with your meal,” you tossed him a look that he nearly missed because he was sure he saw his favorite jam preserves tucked into the display that he hadn’t seen available for a few weeks.

“Mm?” He asked, turning his head to look up at you one more time.

“You make me mad, do you know that?” You asked, coming to stand in front of him with a small furrow between your brows.

“Mad?” Aemond asked, tossing a small berry into his mouth.

“You are here for the food!” You all but snarled, causing his brow to lift just slightly in surprise. 

“Is something the matter?” He asked, turning his shoulders squarely to face you.

“You get to eat and eat and eat all day long,” you huffed, turning and crossing the room once again to pour a glass of incensed water into your empty cup. “How can you eat so much and yet your body never changes? Not even a bit?” You asked. 

Aemond was at a loss for words. He was certain he didn’t eat that much.

“If I have one more sweet than veg at dinner, I can feel on my thighs for the next six weeks!” You knew you were bordering on hysteria at this point. “I watched you eat six tarts last night.” You pointed an accusatory finger at your husband. “Six!”

“They were very good tarts, plums are finally back in season,” Aemond countered, not sure why his little wife was throwing a fit over his tea.

You crossed the rooms again, cradling his sharp jaw in your hands, arms accounting for the height difference between you two.

“I am deeply in love with you, and I deeply resent how you can maintain your figure and eat until your heart’s content,” you said sternly. Aemond noted the slight sweetness of honeysuckle on your breath. “I am… envious,” you admitted softly.

“I assure you,” Aemond began, “your body leaves me wanting for nothing,” he informed. “I’m quite attached to all parts of it and hope none of them disappear,” he said, unruffled by your outburst.

“Well they will,” you huffed, dropping your arms and placing your hands on your waist. “I need to shed these hips and thighs, so I’m telling cook no more sweets at dinner or tea,” you said pointedly, turning away from your husband and crossing the room again to grab your cloak.

“No sweets?” Aemond’s face reflected an expression of disgust. “That simply won’t work for me,” he replied. 

“No sweets,” you reiterated. Aemond set down the halved peach he’d absentmindedly picked up as you were speaking and strode across the room, placing his hands on your waist over your clock.

“My love, I need my sweets the same way I need you,” he murmured in your ear, causing you to puff out a sarcastic laugh.

“Oh really? You can’t live without them?” You asked, spinning in his hold.

Aemond took a deep breath, drawing his arms tightening around you as he spoke with clear authority.

“Your hips and thighs happen to be my favorite bits,” he began, “and if you take them from me the same way you plan to take my sweets, I will take it as a personal affront.”

“Aemond, the other ladies of court - ”

“Frankly, I don’t care about the other ladies of court and neither should you,” he interrupted. “You are a Princess and if anything, they should strive to be more like their rulers.” He held a finger to your lips. “Now that I’ve finished my snack, let me move on to my next favorite thing to eat."

-

-

Please let me know if you'd be interested in reading any more Aemond content :)

[its-captain-sir]

BOOOOOO another craft show rejected me 💔💔

[alastor-simp]

Alastor with a female reader who is selectively mute Part 2

Here is part 2 of this story. Mimzy is gonna be in this story as well, since we havent heard her talk yet or what her personality is like, im just gonna write how I think she will talk and act. Enjoy everyone:)

***5 Months Later***

You had adapted to hell surprisingly well. Yes there was some bumps along the way, due to you being mute, but you adjusted as time went on. Your relationships with everyone in the hotel had grown significantly. Charlie adored you and loved you like a sister. She was this close to telling her dad if it was possible to adopt you into the family, but you frantically declined as you suspected it would complicate things, but it was sweet that she loved you so much to do that. Vaggie slowly adjusted to you, don't blame her, she was always untrustworthy of everyone in the hotel, but she came around sooner or later. She offered to teach you some self defense as you were still an easy target. It was a bit difficult, but you managed despite your clumsiness. Angel Dust was a bit annoying in the beginning as he really wanted to hear your voice, but the puppy dog eyes you gave him made him quit. Now he treats you like his bestie, taking you shopping and having you attend some of his shows, which flustered you, but you wanted to support him. Niffty found you adorable when you first met and she still does. She has tried not to speed run towards you, since it always shocked you, causing you to drop your notepad in the past. It took a while, but she was able to do it. Husk was literally your dad figure. He always came over when you appeared upset about something and offered to cheer you up with his card tricks or make you a virgin cocktail, especially since your alcohol tolerance was negative 1000. You loved that he became that caring towards you, especially how gruff he was with everyone else. Sir Pentious was a new addition to the hotel. He first appeared when he tried to blow up the hotel a second time, only for Al to defeat him easily. Later after that, he became a patron at the hotel. He wondered why you didn't speak, but after a talk with Charlie and Vaggie, he no longer questioned it. He did enjoy your company, whenever you came to his work space, as he was crafting his inventions. His Egg Bois adored you as well, which pleased him. Alastor had become almost your protector/best friend. Its crazy to think how in the beginning, he was a bit annoyed when you didn't respond to his question, to now where he was always there to help you whenever you were in a pickle. His radio tower was your sanctuary as you always headed up there during his broadcasts. Alastor would always anticipate you coming as well, as it made his day a whole lot better whenever you showed up and took a seat next to him, admiring him as he continued his broadcast.

Getting ready for the day, you stood in front of your mirror, making sure you look spiffy. Alastor had invited you to attend one of Mimzy's shows at her club. Excitement raced through your body, and you nodded quickly when he asked you. Alastor mentioned before that her shows were very entertaining, so it made you very happy when he invited you to come. After a few minutes of looking yourself over, you walked over to the bed and grabbed the cell phone that was there. Charlie had gotten you it a few weeks ago as a gift. She had installed a text to speech app on it, so whatever you typed on the phone, a voice would respond back. Tears filled your eyes when she gave it to you, almost apologizing for all the trouble she had to go through to get it for you, but she said it was fine and it hardly cost anything. You knew she was royalty, so one cell phone wouldn't be a big deal, but it was to you. After a bunch of persuasion from Charlie saying it was really alright, you accepted the cell phone, not before engulfing Charlie in a hug. It took a while to get use to it, but it got easier over time, and it was a whole lot better then the notepad.

Rushing out of the room, your feet carried you over to the lobby, where a certain deer demon was patiently waiting. Alastor's ear twitched when he heard the pitter patter of your feet, turning to face you with a smile. Stopping to catch your breath, you stood in front of Al and gave a small wave, causing him to chuckle. His eyes scanned your outfit and found it to be perfect for today's activities. "Excited are we, my dear?" Looking at Al, you nodded your head, smiling widely. How adorable he thought. Hooking his arm with yours, Alastor banged his microphone on the ground, causing a portal to open in front of you. "Transporting like this may be new to you, my dear! Hold on tight!" The both of you entered the portal. It felt extremely odd, but you powered through it. The portal had brought you in front of a large building, with a large neon sign reading "Mimzy's." There was a crowd of demons around the building, probably ready for the show, as Mimzy was very popular. Entering inside, your eyes were drawn to the decor. It was a lavish place, the walls were covered in burlesque posters, and string lights decorated the ceiling. It had a very spacious bar and in the center of the room was a large stage with a small band in the background. Heading over to a certain section, there was a table that read VIP. This must be for us, since Alastor was a frequent visitor at this place. Sitting down in the seat, Alastor called over a server, asking for their most popular giggle water, while turning to you and asking what you would like. Taking your phone out, you typed your answer and played it out:

"𝙹𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚊 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚕𝚎𝚢 𝚝𝚎𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚎 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎."

The server was confused at that, but just shrugged and nodded while going over to complete the order. Alastor was not fond that you had to resort to that annoying technology to speak, but he did noticed how more calm you were using it then the notepad, so he kept his opinion to himself. After the server returned with the drinks, the lights began to dim, and the crowd began to let out cheers, as the main entertainer made her way to the stage. Mimzy was a very short demon, a little chubby, but very gorgeous. Her flapper dress suit her very well, as she made her way to the center of the stage. "Good evening, Ladies and Gents! Y'all ready for tonight's performance?" Cheers and whistles were the response to that. "That's what I like to hear! Hit it boys!" The stage lights flashed, as Mimzy walked closer to the front of the stage, standing in front of the microphone, ready to amaze everyone.

(LOVE THIS SINGER, Check her out)

The performance drew to a close, and you were blown away. Her voice was amazing. Loud cheers and applause radiated throughout the whole room, as Mimzy gave a bow. Both you and Alastor clapped with the crowd as Mimzy left the stage, leaving the band there, as they played some jazz to keep the entertainment alive. Alastor turned towards you, asking if you enjoyed the show, to which you responded with an enthusiastic nod. "Why Alastor! You made it" a familiar voice, called out from behind the both of you, as you saw Mimzy walking towards the both of you. "Of course, Mimzy my dear! You do know how much I adore your performances!" Alastor smiled as he greeted Mimzy, placing a kiss on her hand. Mimzy's eyes then locked on you. Oh boy, you hoped she was friendly. "Oh My Goodness! Who is this adorable little peach?!" Oh thank Lucifer, she was a nice demon. "Ah yes! This is another acquaintance of mine! Say hello my dear!" Mimzy glanced at Al when he spoke, then turned back to you with a kind smile. "How ya doin suga~? Did my voice blow you away?" Feeling uncertain, you wondered if she was going to treat you differently if she knew you were a mute. She seemed friendly enough, plus Al said she was a good friend. Slowly you grabbed your phone and typed out what you wanted to say to Mimzy.

𝚈𝚎𝚜! 𝙸 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢𝚎𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑. 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚖𝚊𝚣𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚟𝚘𝚒𝚌𝚎. 𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚖𝚞𝚝𝚎, 𝚜𝚘 𝙸 𝚊𝚙𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚒𝚣𝚎 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚋𝚒𝚝 𝚘𝚍𝚍.

After the voice played, you pointed your eyes to the ground, feeling very shy. Clenching your hands under the table, you worried Mimzy was going to mock you for not speaking. "Oh my satan! Alastor, where did you find this angel? She is simply precious!" Mimzy had grabbed your cheeks, and began to squish them, like what a mother would do to a baby. "She had arrived in Hell a few months ago! She is a shy little one!" Alastor chuckled as he watched Mimzy coo at you. "No apologies needed suga~! Just happy you enjoyed the show! Here, let me give you a VIP pass so you can visit with no problems. Okay, darling?" Mimzy let go of your cheeks, and handed you the card. She had a very motherly side to her, which you liked. Grabbing the card, you nodded your head and smiled. Mimzy smiled and hugged you again. She then departed both of you as she had to meet up with some gents on the other side of the room. Both you and Alastor stayed at the club for a little bit, chatting about certain topics until you realized it had gotten late. Exiting the building, both you and Alastor decided to walk back to the hotel. Could have teleported, but the breeze was nice plus you both needed to stretch your legs after sitting for a long time. Your arm was hooked with Al's as he walked with you. Always such a gentleman. After walking for a couple of minutes, Alastor had stopped in his tracks. "My dear, may I ask you a question?" Alastor turned towards you, as he let your arm go, as he left you to stand in front of him. Staring into his eyes, you looked to see if there was any evidence of anger in them, but you found none. There was a little hint of sadness though, yet Alastor was still smiling. "I noticed during conversations with others, you always apologize! Why is that, my dear?" Tilting his head at you, he waited for your response.

Painful memories from your past began to flash in your mind once Alastor asked that question. Tears started to form, but they were blinked away. Reaching for your phone with trembling hands, you slowly wrote your answer and played it for Al.

𝙳𝚞𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚎, 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚙𝚎𝚘𝚙𝚕𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗'𝚝 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚢 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚊 𝚋𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚎 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚍𝚒𝚍. 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚍𝚎𝚝𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚝 𝚜𝚊𝚠 𝚖𝚎 𝚊𝚜 𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚢, 𝚊 𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚔, 𝚊 𝚠𝚎𝚒𝚛𝚍𝚘. 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔𝚎𝚍 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚊𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚜𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚋𝚞𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚒𝚝. 𝙾𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎, 𝙸 𝚋𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚛 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚊𝚙𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚒𝚣𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐. 𝙸𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜𝚗'𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚏𝚊𝚞𝚕𝚝 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝙸 𝚊𝚖, 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚖𝚢 𝚘𝚠𝚗.

Tears rolled down your cheeks, as you pointed your head to the ground. Everything you felt from back then began to pour out of you, and you couldn't stop. Alastor was silent in front of you, and you figured he was upset with you, but before you could type a response, you were caught off when you felt someone wrap their arms around you. You found your head being placed in the crook of his neck, as he held you tightly. HE WAS HUGGING YOU?!? The last months while staying at the hotel, you were able to find out that Alastor didn't liked being touch. Yes, he would touch you and the others, but it mostly involved an arm hook, slight shoulder hug or head pat. You never expected that Al would be hugging you like this. After a few seconds, he began to speak. "I am truly sorry you had to suffer through that, my dear! But let me tell you this, people who mock and taunt others for being odd or a little strange are the ẗ̸̝́r̴̦̒u̵̦̅ē̴̢ ̶̰̈́s̴̱̈c̷̪͒ù̶̧m̶͇͐ ̸��͎ò̴̦f̸͔̈́ ̶̦̃t̶͈̽h̶̟͌ȩ̴̾ ̴̯̀è̴͍a̴̞͝r̸͙̊t̸̰̕h̸̤̉! They are the true monsters! Don't believe their heinous words! To me, you are the sweetest and most unique demon in all of the seven rings! Never apologize for being the way you are ever again!" His words made you cry even more. Moving your hands slowly, you placed them on his back, tightening the hug. You felt the slight flinch from his body when you did that, but he slowly relaxed and squeezed you tighter.

The hug lasted for a bit before Al slowly released you, snapping his fingers to have a handkerchief appear in his hands, as he wiped your tears away. Once he finished, he leaned down and placed his hands on the sides of your mouth, moving them up to make it appear you were smiling. "Come on, my dear! Smile!" The smile on his face was outstretched, revealing all of his sharp teeth. His antics never ceased to make you laugh. Looking at him, you gave him a great big smile. Chuckling, Al leaned back up and grabbed your arm again, continuing his walk back to the hotel. After about a few minutes of walking, you both stopped in your tracks as an unknown voice called out to the both of you. "Well well well, if it isn't the Radio Demon."

*(TO BE CONTINUED)*

Part 1 of the Story is Here

Part 3 of the story is Here

[animationmovieshipps]

From Rags to Riches: Chapter 2

When you arrived at the mall, your soon noticed that there were many girls to be part of the selection.

There were other imps like you, it also had succubus, but most of them were sinners, which caused you a little strangeness, but you soon remembered you were on the Pride Ring now, the only Ring in Hell sinners could live in it.

You sat down in one of the chairs to wait your turn. They were all so beautiful, it just made you even more nervous.

"Shit, shit, shit..." The girl next to you repeated in a low voice, looking as nervous as you.

When she noticed you were watching her, she looked at you and smiled.

"Nice to meet you, Liana." She introduced herself to you.

You smiled back at her and introduced yourself to her as well.

While the first girls were called to be analyzed, you distracted yourself by talking to Liana.

She was too nice to be a sinner. Not that all hellborns were nice, quite the contrary, but most sinners were assholes, that was why they ended up down there.

She told you all about her life when she was still alive. When alive, she was a model at the height of her career, but it was abruptly interrupted when she died in an accident in one of the fashion shows.

She had already gone through the selection process before, you didn't understand why she seemed the most nervous of all of you.

After a while, it was finally your turn.

"Good luck." Liana whispered to you.

"Thanks." You whispered back to her.

As soon as the agent laid eyes on you, you immediately noticed how impressed she seemed with your appearance, which was unimaginable, everyone said that you had an exotic appearance, different from the others.

"How old are you, honey?" She asked.

"19." You replied and she wrote it down on the chart.

"Tell me, do you happen have any modeling experience?" She asked again.

"Well, I took a modeling course when I was 14, participated in and won a few beauty contests in my hometown, the Lust Ring." You explained. "I just didn't continue, because I had priorities in my life that I couldn't reconcile with the life of a model, that was 2 years ago. But trust me when I say that I never forgot what you have to do to model."

"Well then, show me your catwalk, please." She asked.

You took a deep breath and began to walk through the space given to you, calmly, delicately, but at the same time with elegance, one foot in front of the other, spine straight and always looking ahead.

You did some poses as if you were being photographed and went back to the agent, whose name you discovered was Miss. Lenormand.

You had no idea of how you managed to take so many steps without falling on the ground once because you were so nervous, but you were glad you didn't.

After you answered a few more questions to Miss. Lenormand, she asked you to return to your place, which at the end of the selection would tell you if you had been chosen or not.

Right after you, it was Liana's turn. You could see she wasn't lying when she said she had been a model when she was still alive.

Most of the girls were hostile towards each other due to the competition, but you got along really well with Liana, you would be happy for her if she was chosen and vice versa.

Timeskip...

"Very well, girls." Miss Lenormand said, drawing all of your attention to her. "I have selected 10 girls so whatever names I say, come to me, the ones that were not called, get the fuck out of here, please."

No more words could be heard as she read the names on the clipboard, the room was so silent you could hear a pin drop on the floor.

"Lauren, Barbara, Danila, Reina, Liana..."

As soon as the agent said her name, the two of you looked at each other and hugged briefly, before she stood up and joined the others selected.

After she said the names of 8 girls, you had given up hope that your name was on that clipboard. Until when it was the ninth turn, you were amazed to hear her say your name.

You couldn't believe that after everything you had to sacrifice, you would finally achieve the biggest dream of your life.

"Me?" You asked, pointing to yourself, still incredulous.

"Yeah, but if you want I can select another one instead..."

"No, of course I want to!" You exclaimed, not containing a squeal of happiness as you got up from the chair and joined the other selectees, hugging Liana again.

-----------------------------

After a while, Daniel and Luke started to worry about your delay, since you had warned that you would be gone for about an hour and it had already been two hours since you had left.

Due to the place you were living, they couldn't help but be worried you might got killed in the way to the mall or even on the way back home.

"Do you think she's okay?" Luke asked his older brother.

"I don't know." Daniel sighed. "I could call to her phone, but I'm afraid she'll be robbed because she's on the street."

"So are we going to remain in this uncertainty?" He retorted.

Before Daniel could respond, they fell silent as they heard the sound of the door lock unlocking. They could never explain the amount of relief they felt when they saw you walking through that door.

They ran up to you and would have hugged you, if only your hands weren't full of bags.

"Girl, where have you been?" Daniel asked, cupping your face in his hands. "We were so worried."

"It's okay, I'm fine. I just took a while because I stopped by the pizzeria in the way back home." You explained to them calmly.

Seeing that you had arrived, Cameron and Laila left their crayons and drawings to talk to you.

"What did you bring?" Laila asked excitedly, noticing the bags you had in your hands.

"Oh I brought us some pizzas, fries and soda." You replied, which filled them with joy. "To celebrate that I was one of those selected!" You announced happily, which made them celebrate and jump for joy.

"I knew you could do it!" Cameron boasted.

"I'm so happy, now I can give you the lives you deserve." You smiled.

"But you already give us the life we deserve." Luke smiled, resting his hand on your shoulder.

That moment called for a group hug, but you couldn't do it with your hands full. You hurriedly went to the dining table and placed the things on it, before returning to them and wrapping all of them in just one hug.

"Aren't you going to try to run away from me?" You joked.

"No, it's a special occasion." Luke replied.

"I love you all so much." You said between laughs.

Meanwhile, the ruler of all Hell was getting ready to go to bed, after another day inventing new gadgets for his rubber duckies.

That giant bed just for him only made him feel even lonelier.

It had been 7 years since he had been living, he was surviving and even though he knew that reclusive and staying away from everything and everyone wasn't good for him, but he couldn't find the motivation to move on when he missed his former wife so much.

Suddenly, when he was about to turn off the light, he was briefly startled when he heard his cell phone ring.

He picked up his cell phone with some hope that it was someone he wanted to call, the expression on his face quickly changed when he saw that it was the fashion designer overlord. She definitely wanted to ask for something.

"Hello?" He asked, touching the phone to his ear.

Contrary to what he thought, she didn't spend much time rambling like everyone did, she got straight to the point.

She said she called to invite him to watch a fashion show from an agency associated with her clothing brand, which would be next week.

Lucifer would deny it, saying that he had more important things to do. Until he remembered what his daughter said, that he should go back to living and creating new connections instead of just staying at home.

He accepted, despite being sure that she just wanted something from him like all the others, but he hoped that he wouldn't regret that decision.

[colderdrafts]

4: Hunkering down

Underground visitor, gn reader x monster (male drider). Sfw. Previous Next

The storm rages for three days.

Three days pass like this, generally using each other's company to pass the time while waiting for the storm to subside. Dren has showed you a way to keep track by climbing up a tunnel just outside the sleeping room. It rests just under the boulders in the rocky formation you saw the first day, and the spaces between the heavy rocks provides a small window to the outside. It's a bit claustrophobic staring out from under the ground, but the unmistakable sound of howling wind, snapping tree branches and heavy rain tells of how brutal it still is outside.

So Dren shows you different areas inside the tunnel system. One tunnel leads through a crack in a rocky formation and opens into a cave full of odd blue crystals that glint pleasantly in the light of the lantern.

One leads into another underground stream that ends in a small beautiful lake, gentle sounds of water dripping in from somewhere deeper in the rocky formations.

Another, closer to the living room, Dren tells you, appears to be a small library with books neatly sorted on 'shelves' - outcroppings in the dirt walls. He spends some time during your walks lighting up tunnels between the rooms you most likely will frequent, so that you can find your way to them.

You spend some time in the library, but you find, to your disappointment, you can't read any of the tomes in there - the lettering is foreign to you. Lucky for you, Dren is more than willing to teach you should you decide to learn.

Dren tells you about his life here, and his habits of hunting and setting traps, apparently self-taught. He explains that drider offspring tend to leave the nest pretty quickly after the first few ‘molts’, lest siblings get tired of each other and go on the attack. He still fidgets whenever he’s sitting still, and when you ask him about it he merely shrugs, mumbling something of how keeping his hands busy is grounding.

He also talks about his offspring, all ‘broods’, and how he has taken care of them. Apparently, eggs are laid late summer, and they do their first molt sometime come spring. He fiercely guards them until then. He doesn’t tell you where they are in the system, and you don’t ask.

He tells you of other ‘common-folk’, inhabitants of this world that come in all shapes and sizes, furry, scaly, big and small – monsters, is what you’d call what he describes, though here they’re as regular as you are back in your own world.

He tells you of magic; difficult to control and unpredictable, something not to be trifled with. Only a very select few tap into its power, often with dire consequences. He surmises it may have somehow caused you being here, though he has no idea how.

On the second night you wake with a start after a nightmare - darkness had pulled you into an abyss in which you couldn't breathe, claws gripping at your skin, pressure like being pulled into the deep sea. After awakening, the momentary confusion of the pitch blackness nearly made you panic, until Dren, resting in the hole above you, had called out and asked if you were alright. You could hear him climbing down the wall to sit in front of you, gently talking to you until you had calmed down.

His presence and reassurances had an immediate soothing effect on you that you can't really explain. For some reason, his company right then put you at ease, with no trouble going back to sleep whatsoever.

The morning after that you had sat in comfortable silence during breakfast, content to just be where you are – and judging from the warm expression on his face, Dren is just as content having you there.

You’re not sure how it happened so fast you’ve grown accustomed to looking at him, considering how foreign this all is to you. But it doesn’t phase you when his lower body moves on it’s own accord, or when it quietly chitters, or when he simply climbs the walls to get from one point to another. You’ve gotten used to the feeling of stray strings of web sometimes caressing your face, or stuck to your clothes. At one point you’ve had a full conversation with Dren hanging upside down on the ceiling high above, refueling a lantern, whilst just sitting at the stream at the edge of the water. You've almost forgotten how all of this is supposed to be foreign and odd to you.

On the third day you're on your way back to the living room after having collected some water from the stream – a part of the daily routine here, you’ve learned. This trip is easier, though by now you’ve had a taste of how mind-boggling huge this cave really is.

You try and ask Dren how he navigates, but he tells you he genuinely can’t give you a straight answer. He just ‘knows’.

“But rest assured, if you’re ever lost and need help, just run your fingers through the spaces between the patterns. I’ll come find you,” he says, adjusting the waterskin that's dangling from his shoulder.

He tries to be reassuring, but you must admit it’s a bit disappointing there’s not some trick to help you tell which way to go.

Or, there is, but he doesn't want to share with the class. Maybe it’s a lie, maybe it’s a spider thing. Who knows.

While it's been a surprisingly pleasant few days, all things considered, some part of your more logical brain still questions your situation. For one, staying in pure darkness for this long is taking a toll on you. The artificial lights of the lantern does not do wonders for you, and you miss a gust of fresh air. It’s somewhat stuffy down here, and you have a feeling your circadian rhythm isn’t having fun without sunlight to guide it.

While you are comfortable in Dren's company, there’s still small thread of distrust running through your body, given his more grim actions in life, and his cursory attitude towards it. On top of this, he still hasn’t shown you a way to leave the cave, should you want to.

Not that you have asked, as you fear the response.

But you checked this morning, and know for a fact the storm has finally passed, and you're pretty sure he knows it too – though none of you have mentioned it yet. And once again your logical minds reminds you you’ll have to go back out there eventually if you want to figure out a way home.

Dren’s voice pulls you out of your thoughts.

“If you ever want to go somewhere, just ask,” he smiles, and turns to continue the walk.

“Could you show me back outside?” you ask him directly.

He stops and looks back at you. Your grip on the lantern tightens just a little bit.

It’s a confrontation you’ve been avoiding for a while now.

Since he just now promised to show you the way, this could be a time to try and hold him to that. The response to this is also a determining factor in what the situation here truly is. Are you a guest, or something else?

“Yes,” Dren says easily, dropping the waterskin and turning fully around to go in the opposite direction. “This way.”

Oh.

Well, that was easier than you had feared. You feel your chest deflate just a little bit as you fall into step next to him.

"The sun should be up now anyway," Dren says, glancing at you. You can’t tell if he’s noticed your tension earlier, but if he did, he doesn't mention it. "I'd understand if you miss the daylight."

You nod. "Yeah. Don't get me wrong, it's cozy down here, but I kinda need some fresh air."

"Cozy," Dren repeats with a chuckle. "I'm glad you think so."

It's a long trek back toward the outside, but, as promised, soon enough you spot the opening with sunshine rushing in from outside and a pleasant gust of fresh air caresses your skin.

You try not to think too hard on the immense relief associated with the feeling.

You turn off the lantern and carefully set it aside at the entrance, and step out into the light. The pleasant warmth quickly spreads over your skin, contrasting the cool autumn air. You close your eyes and lean your face toward the sun to better soak in it. You breathe in deeply, realizing how stale things had been down in the dark.

You hear footsteps and glance toward the cave opening where Dren is standing in the shade, observing you with a soft expression, mouth curled into a gentle smile.

"What?" you prod, somewhat flustered from being stared at.

"You definitely needed that," he chuckles, and steps out of the dark, momentarily shielding his eyes from the blaring sun and stepping in place. "Ugh. I definitely do not."

You snort. "You're already adjusting."

"Seems so."

He looks different in the daylight. More detailed, somehow. He has several scars running down the side of his abdomen and side of his torso that are a lot more noticeable now. Third leg on his right side is the tiniest bit shorter than the others. The black carapace of his lower body seems to almost absorb the light that hits it. When he finally removes his hands from his face, you notice a few stray freckles on the pale skin.

"Storm really did a number on this place," Dren notes, avoiding your gaze by glancing around the forest area.

Most noticeable are several trees that have fallen, and are laying haphazardly around. Broken branches and fallen leaves litter the muddied ground, and while the sun is doing its part, everything is still quite wet. While the storm has passed, the clear signs of its destructive journey remains.

"I'm grateful I didn't have to stay out here while all of that was going on," you say, nodding at the cave. “Thank you.”

"Of course," Dren says.

Silence hangs in the air for a bit. You hadn't thought too far ahead with what you wanted to do after finding your way back outside. It feels like this is a natural place to say goodbye and continue your journey in figuring out where you are and how to get back - yet you find yourself at an impasse, as that means leaving behind your only known source of shelter in this strange new world.

You're foreign here. You don't know the rules, or anything of what you could possibly meet. You have no resources, and you're apparently 'rare', guaranteed to raise suspicion and/or attract attention.

On the other hand, you'll never find your way back home if you hide in a cave all day.

"Since the storm has finally passed us by," Dren says, as if sensing your thoughts. He pauses. "I'm assuming you want to find a way back to your own world?"

You nod, and sigh. "I should, but I don't even know where to start. This is all so new."

Dren frowns. "I am.. hesitant, to let you venture out on your own," he starts, but then shakes his head. "No, I am vehemently against it. Unfortunately, the solutions to your predicament most likely lies elsewhere. I'd go with you, but-"

"Your children," you finish for him. "I completely understand. I would never ask you anything that would put them in harms way."

He smiles sadly. "I know."

There's sort of an awkward pause where you both think about what to do.

Dren's the first to speak up again. "I'm not an expert in magic at all, but if it's magic that got you here, magic should be able to show you the way back. There may be resources to find somewhere. You could go ask around the marketplace as a start. Someone who knows better than I may have some answers."

"It's worth a shot," you agree, though the thought of venturing unprepared into foreign territory and interact with a bunch of people you know nothing off sends a spike of anxiety through your body. You steel yourself. "Is there anything I should avoid doing? I don't want to attract too much attention to myself."

Dren sighs. "You will attract attention no matter how you conduct yourself, I'm afraid." He grits his teeth, his hands fidgeting. "Don't let anyone know you're a sentry acting alone, though. That's a recipe for disaster." He looks at you intently. "Don't just avoid answering questions. I want you to lie."

The sudden seriousness of his tone catches you a bit off guard. What could you meet out there that makes him so anxious to see you go? It must be important, so you nod mutely. "Anything else?"

"You won't get answers for free. You'll need something to trade. If you don't want to barter for value, offer something for the same thing."

You give him an odd look. "Offer a what for a what now?"

"Something for the same thing. It's a simple rule. You gain something for trading in the same thing in turn. You want a book, you give them one in turn. You want a piece of fruit, you hand them another. You get to ask a question - but so do they," he warns. "Be careful when trading knowledge. You don't want the wrong person to know the wrong thing about you."

"Duly noted," you mutter.

Half an hour later you're somewhat ready to head out toward the marketplace. Dren has managed to scrounge up an old satchel, containing your now dry home-clothes, a flask of cave-water and a small knife. He has also provided you with a black cloak to keep warm, as your jacket might be a tad too obvious.

You're back at the entrance to the cave in the noon sunlight, and Dren paces nervously as he watches you prepare to leave, his lower body chittering with anxious energy. You look him over.

"Buddy, you're making me nervous with all that fiddling," you comment, pulling the satchel over your shoulder.

Dren huffs, and tries and fails to stay still. It's like his lower body has a mind of its own. "I'll try to get a hold of myself. Apologies."

"You're really a worry-wart, aren't you?"

You grin, but it's mostly to convince yourself there's nothing to be worried about. You're just going to go do a little shopping. No biggie.

"You have no idea," Dren mutters. "Do you remember the path I told you?"

"Yep. All memorized."

"Good."

Another moment of silence. You reach you hand out to him to shake. "Well, uh. Thanks for everything. I don't think I'd still be around hadn't you stepped in."

He leans down a bit and carefully clasps your wrist, mindful not to prickle your skin with his claws. You had expected a handshake, but you suppose this is customary here, so you quickly adjust and grab his wrist in turn. There's something prickling under your skin at the contact, a very faint but pleasant warmth in his palm that gently travels up your arm. It almost makes you want to step closer.

"You're most welcome. I hope I made up for my poor behavior when we first met," Dren jests, and releases you, taking the sensation with him.

"Water under the bridge," you say, shaking off the feeling.

He smiles, but it doesn't really reach his eyes. "Please be careful out there."

“I will.”

You go to turn away, but stop yourself. Why is it difficult to just walk away? You don't owe each other anything, yet something in you doesn't want to leave it like this. You glance back at him somewhat awkwardly.

“Dren, if this turns out to be a goose chase and I don’t find anything – is it okay if I return-”

“YES,” he practically yells, and laughs heartily.

His outburst finally pops whatever awkward bubble you’ve found yourselves in, and you immediately laugh with him.

Dren covers his face with his hands and utters a frustrated groan. He stares at you through his fingers. “Of course you can! Blue moons, you set this up like a tearful goodbye forever!”

“I did?!” you protest. “You’re prepping me like I’m going into a battlefield I’ll never return from! How should I know?”

Dren spends a few seconds collecting himself, as his laugh settles into a wistful smile. “Well. It never hurts to be prepared,” he says, though his eyes turn a little dim. “And – it’s not too far off, is it?”

You breathe out. You suppose it isn’t. If you do indeed find an immediate solution or need to move on to somewhere else quickly to get back home, this might be the last time you see him. Ever.

You don’t know why that makes your chest feel a little heavy.

You smile at him, contend to know you have at least somewhere to return to, and turn to walk away. “I’ll see you around, Dren.”

“Don’t make those kinds of promises. I might just hold you to them,” he says.

With that, you finally set out on the path through post-storm destruction, mindful not to trip over anything or slip in the mud. The further you walk the unfamiliar path through the forest, the more the strange heaviness settles in your chest. Go back. It’s not safe out here.

Why is this so difficult?

The autumn air is crisp, the sun is in your back, and you're absolutely terrified.

[anony-man]

Stowaway

Word count: 1,565

Pairing: Swerve/Overlord

Rating and warnings: M; implied immobility, belly kink, cockwarming

Despite being one of the only locations available for good drinks and quality service, Swerve prided himself on being the best of the best. His selection of alcoholic beverages and good, relaxing energon concoctions was something he’d spent decades perfecting, and it was no surprise to him when the bar was full to bursting day in and day out. On an average basis, he quite enjoyed the company of his customers, and he tended to put of closing down the bar as long as he possibly could. Given the shift in circumstances, however, Swerve no longer had the opportunity to do such things, and he often ended up shutting things down long before they neared closing hour.

Still, it was for a good cause. A very, very good cause.

Having organized his space so that the berthroom and connected commodities were directly above his bar—more for saving space and convenience than anything—Swerve could hear every little sound that came from either floor at all times. In the early days of his business, he’d set it up to keep his precious stock safe from any thievery, but things had turned around rather quickly for him, and the minibot had grown accustomed to listening for other distinct sounds during the day than he did the sound of some poor soul trying to break into his bar.

It was often subtle, but Swerve had grown accustomed to making out the quiet, distinct creaks and groans of the ceiling panels above. He couldn’t help the goofy smile that spread across his faceplates every time the crack of floorboards grew louder and more frantic, as if the inhabitants on the floor above him were rearranging heavy furniture or something.

That was one way to look at it, he thought to himself, having finished delivering a second round of drinks to a rowdy table when the ceiling sounds had begun again. It was like clockwork, at times, and he knew from the sounds of it that he needed to start closing down.

It was a little difficult to shoo his patrons out of the door that evening, but Swerve had managed. He gave a few of the regulars a good thirty-minute heads up before going around the room and gathering the tabs of everyone else. Once he had finished, nearly two-thirds of the bar’s inhabitants had already left, leaving behind those who were either too inebriated or too stubborn to leave right away.

“Here,” Swerve had said to one of the larger, bulkier mechs still sitting at the bar stool. The bot went by the name Blaze, though given his patchy purple paint job and the assortment of scars dotting his frame, Swerve could only guess that the designation had been a half-assed attempt at keeping his past under wraps. “Lock up when you’re done here, will you? I’ve got a few more deliveries to make, and I don’t have time to do it myself tonight.”

Blaze—or whatever his real name was—gave Swerve a nod and a smile (was it a smile? Swerve couldn’t tell past the resting murderous expression Blaze always wore) before accepting the keys with a mumbled agreement. He had been one of the establishments first and last customers, and having lasted so long without moving on, Swerve had grown to trust him with his very life. Well, maybe not his life, but Swerve trusted him enough to know he wouldn’t try to steal half of his inventory.

They didn’t exchange words so much as share a passing look of acknowledgment before Swerve was hoisting a varied box of energon goodies and alcoholic beverages on one hip and heading for the stairs. Whether or not Blaze had caught on to what was really going on, Swerve wasn’t sure. It didn’t matter much, of course. It wasn’t like Swerve was hiding an entire Decepticon leader in his private quarters.

Okay, maybe he was doing just that, but still. Swerve kept it under wraps, and so far, nobody had ever become the wiser. He was still very much an Autobot at heart, and he’d decided long ago that neither his preferred kinks nor his chosen sexual partner mattered much as long as he kept to himself. He was a talker, sure, but even he could keep a secret.

As he climbed the stairs, the box of energon treats and drinks jostling against his side, Swerve found it becoming harder and harder to suppress the excitement he felt. The routine had become a sort of daily practice that Swerve indulged in, and though his income was starting to stretch thin from the sudden rise in energon demand, he wouldn’t put a stop to it for the world.

The room was dim, but not dark, and as Swerve climbed to the top of the stairs, he could make out the familiar silhouette of something—no, someone—sitting at the far end of the room. What was left of his berth, which had originally been propped up a few feet off of the floor, now lay smushed under thousands of tons of bulging mesh and broken armor plating. Swerve panels grew hot between his thighs as he shuffled further into the room, taking in the sight that lay before him as though it were his first time seeing it.

“Primus,” he gasped, nearly dropping the box of energon in his grasp. “You’re massive, Overlord.”

“All thanks to you, little bot,” Overlord said, a cruel smile lifting the corners of his lips. “Come over here. Show me what you’ve brought.”

On average, Swerve would have believed that he was the one in charge of their relationship. He made all of the decisions, he was the one to top during their more intimate moments, he was responsible for feeding and indulging Overlord’s current state. Even then, sometimes even he couldn’t pass up the opportunity to simply obsess over the massive mech he had helped make.

He loved getting the chance to slip sweet, decadent treats past Overlord’s plump lips while he fondled and rubbed and worshipped the large folds of mesh between his fingers. He would have given anything to be able to spend the rest of his existence in that room, Overlord’s spike pressed deep into the folds of his valve while he fed the Decepticon one little morsel at a time until the mech’s mass took up the entire room. Overlord could hardly move in his current state, and Swerve adored it.

Before he knew it, his fans had clicked on, and a gush of lubricant had begun to pool behind twitching valve panels. Swerve moved slowly, taking in the gigantic mass that was Overlord before he set the box of energon goodies aside. It was still in reach, of course, but he was desperate for a little foreplay before they began the official process.

Overlord lifted his helm to the sky, his neck arched so that the tender mesh between splitting plating was revealed. Swerve immediately pounced, his legs spread against Overlord’s protruding middle and his now-unsheathed spike grinding into the folds of fat as he sucked and kissed the exposed mesh of Overlord’s neck. He groped the flabby folds of fat that bulged underneath Overlord’s chest plating with loud, needy whines, quiet gasps and groans escaping him as he panted for breath between kisses.

“Miss me?” Overlord chuckled, one large, plump servo coming up to fondle the closed seams of Swerve’s panels. It didn’t take much prompting before said panels retracted, a gush of fluids flooding out over fat fingers. “You’re eager tonight, Swerve.”

“Open up,” Swerve said, pulling back just long enough to shimmy downwards. “I wanna take your spike.”

Overlord did as he was told, and with a loud hiss, his plating retracted and his spike pressurized. Swerve was quick to slide onto the erect member, his helm falling back with a satisfied sound as the squelch of lubricant accompanied the steady process. Before long, Overlord’s thick, large spike was all but gone, having been pushed far enough into Swerve’s valve that part of the minibot’s belly bulged outward from the intrusion.

Swerve gave a little shimmy to get himself comfortable before he reached down for the box of energon goodies, one servo clutching the folds of Overlord’s mesh to keep him steady. He brought the entire box up and balanced it on the bulge of Overlord’s middle to keep it in easy reach, then began shuffling through the contents.

“I hope you’re hungry,” he said, bringing out a large bottle of dark liquid to start with. “I’ve got quite the selection for you tonight.”

Overlord licked his lips in anticipation, his optics gleaming with excitement. He knew he could rely on Swerve to keep him nice and plump, and today would be no different. Still, he couldn’t pass up the opportunity to gently jab at Swerve’s confidence.

“You really think a little bot like yourself could fatten me up?” Overlord asked, leaning back until there was little room left, the mass of his middle pushing the small box tightly against Swerve’s front. “I’d like to see you try, Swerve.”

“Oh, don’t you worry,” Swerve said, returning Overlord’s smug smile with a grin of his own. “Once I’m done with you, you’ll be begging for more.”

Overlord’s optics brightened with joy, and Swerve couldn’t deny the rush of excitement that filled him. He couldn’t wait.

[devilsainz]

Tagged by @watercolor-hearts, I'm actually surprised someone remembers my @ to tag me in these! quite heartwarming tbh, thank you lovely, hope you have a nice day/evening/morning 🤗💙

Name: my true name starts with a. m. but since i'm a person on the verge of mixing reality w/ virtual i rather be just called goggles lmao (not to be too vague, my second one is miguel, a quite common latino name, but the first one is quite unusual and it feels too real to be called like that so im hiding it lol)

Sign: Leo (i copied from the op who tagged me and yes this is my sign as well)

Time: 19:16 (i definetely spent too much time elaborating and correcting my own answers lmao)

Favourite band/artist: the short version or the long one? cause honestly im kind of into music as a whole, but to select just a few, i'd say Fiona Apple, Joanna Newsom, Beyoncé and Björk. yep, all ladies, dont ask me why but i just connect with female vocalists more

Last movie: ooh.. this one is quite been some time actually... i think it was Knives Out: Glass Onion! just a little bit of silly fun entertainment and cause i was honestly curious cause i liked watching the 1st knives out.

Last show: Drive to survive 🤷‍♂️ im not a very series person tbh (even dts i only watched the eps i actually was curious about lmao)

When I created this blog: this kind of has 2 answers idk. because this used to be a ziam - yes you read that right - a ziam blog lmao but i didnt put much thought into it tho. then i just stopped using for years, and i just came 2 months ago back to delete it and replace with this actual blog cause i discovered the charlos side of tumblr and wanted to interact w the blogs i discoveeed, reblog and all that jazz.

Other blogs: other than the one i deleted, no, i just have this active blog.

Do I get asks: no i turned them off lol but i dont mind actually i get kind of peaceful thinking im just a dot in this vast virtual world of internet, at least here

Followers: 125 accs (i guess, i dont check bots but i dont think there are too much of them)

Average hours of sleep: i guess it varies on 6-8? there are days a sleep a little bit later but tbh i dont keep track of these lol but i can tell i've been pretty okay with my schedule lately, at least my insomnia stopped

Instruments: nope. i have a shitty keyboard but i just gave up on learning, but i do plan on trying again, just dont know when

What I am wearing: green shorts and an ugly printed but comfortable t shirt

Dream job: i mean, it says dream job... so i might go full in... singer/songwriter 🤓

Dream trip: actually i'm not really obsessed about trips anymore... but if i had to pick one i'm just saying Madrid cause its where carlos jr was born 🤓 (i still want to go there and investigate in person to find his official time of birth btw, so yep im picking madrid)

Favorite song atm: i have a lot of songs being my faves simultaneously and it changes fast depending on the moments/moods but im going with In California by Joanna Newsom cause the chorus when she sings "cuckoo cuckoo" its freaking amazing tbh. for my more upbeat side tho i'm picking Those Eyes, That Mouth by cocteau twins.

Tagging:@leclercsbf and @leoramage (tagging you two cause you were the ones to start a conversation w me so i think it wouldn't be too awkward lol but hey, feel free to ignore if you dont want to or dont like these, no hard feelings, were just dots in a virtual space)

(ps: i was actually very defensive about these kind of posts but i tried this one for fun and hey it is fun! it was kind of cool to talk about myself freely without my face or name plastered on it so thanks for that, person who tagged me)

[notafraidofredyellowandblue]

Adieu mv - a few rammblings

a few thoughts about the Adieu mv, in particular the latter scenes, also based on captions by Specter Berlin and David Gesslbauer on their IG with shots of the new video and borrowing some quotes from various wiki pages.

Feuer Frei / religion

These are the parts i still don't really get the meaning, the crosses used in the video, like this one..

but is it a 'latin' cross, and if so, a baptismal cross?

or is it a tie-in with another Rammstein video, per this IG post

the video of 'Feuer Frei' was shot in a church also echoes the blasts of figure in the hall of 'Doppelgänger' in the Adieu video. Also, Feuer Frei shows Till with a mohawk (but he had that in more videos...if the Adieu mohawk referenced the Feuer Frei mohawk, i'm just glad Paul didn't go back to the tonsure 😊)

Death and immortality

While most hear just a 'goodbye' in Adieu, the video seems to go beyond that into the afterlife, both Specter and David have used the words 'immortals', 'live on forever' in posts. And taken like that (which i actually like a lot), it isn't 'the end' like many fear, but the continuation in the after life.

Titans

Hell / Tartarus

The scene in the 'dungeon' or 'hell' (Specter mentions 'hell of a fanbase' but also 'best fanbase ever', he doesn't mean the former as an insult 😊)

In one of the posts on IG one of them (that i can't find anymore) used the word 'Titans, and that gave me the idea that this isn't just any old hell, but Tartarus, the (Greek) mythological location where the Titans were confined after being overthrown by the Olympian gods.

The Titans were the twelve children of the primordial parents Uranus (Sky) and Gaia (Earth), with six male Titans (and six female Titans).

Originally, Tartarus was used only to confine dangers to the gods of Olympus. In later mythologies, Tartarus became a space dedicated to the imprisonment and torment of mortals who had sinned against the gods, and each punishment was unique to the condemned (best known for examples like Sisyphus who was forever forced to roll a large boulder up a hill for it to always roll back down or Tantalus who stood in a pool of water with a branch of fruit over his head but when he reached for the fruit or bent down for the water it would retract so he couldn't reach it).

That last bit imo is reflected in Rammstein imprisoned in a cage that seems like their small stage, or like the cell from the Mutter video, the band and the 'Damned' headbanging for all eternity.

Interestingly in some version of the christian Bible there is also a reference to the Greek reading Tartarus as a footnote: "For if God did not spare angels when they sinned, but cast them into hell and committed them to chains of gloomy darkness to be kept until the judgment".

The Tartarus prisoners were guarded by the Hecatonchires or 'Hundred-handers', which in mythology were three monsters with 100 hands, but the 100 hands in this case might refer to the hands of the fans.

Valhalla

And what would immortality be without Valhalla (Norsk mythology)

This scene is inspired by a movie (afaik), but even if it wasn't it is very reminiscent of the idea of the Valkyries riding to select heroes to enter Valhalla. Odin would select only those fighting in battles "He should have no fear in fighting battles, his own or others, and in the process dying for the cause. It all comes down to his intentions and how he performs in his life. Another way a person can be fearless is that he would accept any circumstance and still go on. Whatever life throws at him, he will endure it and go forward."

The ceiling

Because of the mythological themes and trying to piece in something 'religious' i first thought the final image was of a religious celing painting, like Michelangelo's 'Creation of Adam', or that is was 'just a pretty picture', making use of a beautiful location. But when i looked up which painting it was, it actually makes even more sense. From the 'Grand Foyer' in the 'Palais Garnier' (also Opéra Garnier, where a lot of the video seems to have been shot) in Paris, the ceilings are illustrations to various pieces performed in the building. The rectangular painting in the center of the ceiling, that is the last shot of the video, is by artist Paul Baudry

...and is called "music" 😊

--

but i do hope we get a 'making of'...but i did hope that for 'Deutschland' as well 😊

[risu5waffles]

[LBP - LBsP 01/19/24] 292 - You're Gonna Carry That Weight

Well, heck. Hopefully this won't be the last fresh (to me) level the we look at on the show; but if it is, i guess we get to go out wiv a bang. Or at least a chewy philosophical problem.

The level's an interesting one, and i feel like it ought to be viewed from two different lenses.

On a pure nuts and bolts side, it's a decent platformer wiv an interesting, elevating conceit. You've got this checkpoint, it's on wheels and you can drag it. You can choose to leave it behind at any time, and gamble on your skills. The earlier you leave it, but more ground you're going to have to go back over if you die. The tension there, if you're being a showoff like me and trying to ace the level wivout carrying the checkpoint at all, really adds to the trickiness of the platforming sections. There were a few times where i wound up getting myself killed because i was playing too conservatively, because i was thinking of having to do everything all over again if i got myself killed. That was really cool.

The gameplay bits themselves were fun once it got challenging. The ice bit, the gears, and that last monkeybar/lights section i had a lot of fun wiv. The first half, tho' does wear a little bit. i think that adds into the risk calculation i mentioned above, but after going through the level a couple dozen times (yes, like, actually a couple dozen times), i did wish i could hurry along some. Now, that's not really an issue most players will have, but it was there.

The environment felt the weakest to me. There are some definite standout bits. Guts, in particular, is a great setpiece presentation-wise; but mostly it feels very standard "this is an LBP1 cave platformer." i did, however, deeply appreciate the ability to select music up front. Song 2 really is the better track for the level, but @soupum well knows the copyright issues that causes for YouTube videos. i don't know that he was thinking specifically of me when he put that choice in, but i was very glad to see it.

So, like, on the level-qua-level it's neat. Definitely something i enjoyed playing, and i could really dig the gimmick.

But then, it's not just playing at being a level; it's also working a message, and this is where things start to get a bit dicey for me. Not that i don't think the message isn't one worth conveying, or is something that can't be conveyed in this medium; but i'm still not sure the level conveys it well or clearly, and it certainly feels like the form is (while honest, at least if i've read it right) ultimately more cynical than perhaps necessary? i don't know. i've got a lot of feelings about it still, and i'm still not sure if i well conveyed the message i was getting at in the video. At the very least i can say this is the most noodling i've ever had to do about an LBP community level, and more noodling than i do over most actually-published-by-studios games i play; and you can't say that's not some form of success.

-------------------------------------------------------

i have so much b-roll of this level, it's honestly made a bit of a dent in my PS4's storage space, so i'm glad the video's finally live and i can cull it.

Still no word on the servers, or much anything aside from StevenI's announcement of his departure as community manager. i'm going to record the DLC levels to fill in space in the Archive, and i'll be looking at my flags level on the 26th, and Distress in Ocean on February 2nd since both of those are on my moon (Distress was a copyable level, and i don't know why i copied it, but i'm awful glad i did). But eventually we're going to hit a spot where the rubber meets the road, and there's just nothing left for me to Archive.

i can still do LBsP things, behind the scenes looks at sets and things like Create Mode goofing around, but if the servers don't come back relatively soon, i think the DLC will only last... i'm not sure. Not super long. i didn't get every pack, even tho' i did get a bunch. i'm feeling some kinds of ways about this, and none of them are very good.

[the27percent]

SHIPPING INFO // ANSWER THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR MUSES SO PEOPLE KNOW HOW SHIPPING WORKS ON YOUR BLOG.

[my joke answer here is that it doesn't but lmao]

Tagged by: @lcvnderlaced

Tagging: You

WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER(S)?

I... I don't know if I have one.

I mean, I will always pine for that Heimdall I wrote with years and years ago .. whose still a good friend of mine. So that has to be up there in terms of all times ships. So I guess that's one.

And there's that one .. chaos embodiment from a few years back that I really liked too. I've had some decent moments over the years even if it does feel so spaced out a times (so to speak)

I like dynamics that explore vulnerability, or that bring out other aspects of Atieno - a certain morbidity, haunted feeling that they can give. silliness.. i like seeing different aspects of them arise in different dynamics. I think it's fun.

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?

I mean Atieno tends to present in their late 30s early forties but like.. as long as you can live by yourself as an individual and can drink (so probably around the late-twenties is about the youngest I'd go and even that's a bit of a stretch).  Obviously given how old they actually are, any involvement they have the distance is likely to be ridiculous except if they are with other incredibly long-lived beings, which is .. also something they like honestly.

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED NSFW?

Hm, I think when things start getting into the making out, heavy touching kind of area - that's probably leaning towards NSFW cause the intentions are at least very much there.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?

Kind of. I think I'm too... like I don't expect people to want to ship so I don't really assume it's a possibility a lot of the time. It has to be really obvious to me before I'm like oh.. maybe I can reach out about it. Otherwise, I tend to be really cautious, maybe too cautious about it.

Other moments, I find myself more openly indulgent but.. yeah.

I don't know, I'm still working on what I actually want for them and open to trying things. Although.. I do pay attention to what may work in a dynamic and when I'm like.. if I feel like I've been trying but you're not interested.. I will back off and not come back either. Like I'm good actually.

WHO ARE OTHER CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH?

I've been really enjoying writing with @phantombs - Cuong being an affectionate, bold pain.. but Atieno and him are very fun to write together.

Also have been really enjoying @thekavseklabs - for Spades and I'm also just looking at what may come up with Emet Selch on @rose-from-ashes

there are other ones around that i float around with for sure though even if doesn't all get mentioned.

shout out to @theyvefallen potentially having something with Eda that might be interesting to explore more.

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?

I mean yes mostly because otherwise I won't know that you want to ship with me. I'm willing to ask about potential ships once I see enough interactions that could lean in that direction but it really depends.

ARE YOU SHIP OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?

i tend to be at least somewhat ship more or less at first, just because i'm not sure how to read other people's interest. but i don't mind talking and rambling about dynamics if i feel like there's a cool rapport there. i enjoy the idea of shipping it's just something i've been .. too wary about for a long time here.

ARE YOU MULTISHIP?

yeah. for sure.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?

define current fandom? cause i'm just out here.. throwing atieno into situations and seeing what happens. otherwise, if you have weird entities or strange beings of all sorts. hey.

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?

honestly, just let me know - send an ask or DM. and I'm down.. or at least, let's have interactions to see about testing the waters as well and seeing what surfaces.

[astrathechinchilla]

For the lurker slavery thing, I think it was implied that Gol and Maia created them so after they were defeated they were lost and leaderless. Just left on their own to survive with precurians (borrowing your word) hating them. So of course they retreat into caves and dark spaces, slowly building their own culture while precurians slowly grow in fear of them upon stumbling into these budding civilizations because 'what if they're regrouping and planning to invade us again' and eventually tensions grow until the precurians, already paranoid because of a war with the metal heads, invade them to eliminate a potential threat of a two front war. They still see them as not much else than beasts and now defeating what was essentially a culture of refugees and seeing how easy it was, someone gets the idea of putting them to work. So now any settlement found gets raided for more slaves. Only now.in constant contact with the lurkers and some lurkers slowly learning precurian languages do a select few precurians start to see beyond prejudice of them being conquered beasts and seeing the culture lurkers developed and really they are sapient creatures like them and maybe this whole slavery thing is kinda fucked up.

Welp that got longer than I thought it would. Hope you don't mind the headcannon

You do not know how fast I clicked to answer this

Neat headcanon

I don’t really know if that first fact of Gol and Maia creating the Lurkers is really a definite truth or falsity in the actual canon, but it is one way to view them that I believe is valid. I don’t personally go with it, since the origins of their people aren’t really the big issue that I have with the way Jak & Daxter writes them, so I’m not going to really talk about that in all honesty (also it may not have been all Lurkers that served under those two, but they are the only ones that are shown so you are right to assume that).

Even if this isn’t how I would frame the situation, that being a majority of Precurians having a long standing hatred for Lurkers that lasted up until now, it is a valid approach to writing this.

However, you also have to consider when the enslavement began. If it was happening long before the Baron came into power, then you have to also consider Damas and the Mar family line who ruled before him as actively participating in the crime of slavery.

However, if it happened after Praxis became the ruler of Haven, I don’t think it would be hatred alone that was the cause of the Baron to so quickly commit a crime such as this. I think it would stem from a very different crime, betrayal.

You must consider the timeline you made before putting in these kinds of details.

This is what @sonicringnoise means you guys, DON’T DO WHAT I’M DOING IF YOU LIKE YOUR BRAIN.

If you don’t want to talk about the contradicting time line and lose your sanity, turn away now. Otherwise, buckle up cause I’m about to spit some facts that are important when you consider this specific plot hole.

———

Now when it comes to the details of the timeline, it’s all over the place. So many details do not make sense when considering certain character’s ages, specifically Mar’s(the kid), and contradict each other.

Everyone out there, how long do you think the Baron has been in power? With how a lot of the story is framed, it makes it seem like decades, but in reality I believe it hasn’t been that long. Why do I think that? It’s the combination of Mar’s age, Veger kidnapping him then losing him, and Damas being banished.

Now, look at Mar.

When we put his height into consideration, along with the way he walks, I believe he’s around 3-4 years old at the max. Some believe he’s around 5-6, but I believe he’s younger than that solely because of the comment older Samos makes at the end of Jak 2.

Younger children like that generally don’t remember much from that age, and though Jak says he does remember ‘the light’, that’s the only thing he seems to remember.

When we consider this, it’s right to presume that Mar’s kidnapping had, at the very least, taken place 3-4-ish years before the events of Jak 2, and along with that Damas’s banishment.

Damas most likely lost his son in Haven City after Praxis betrayed him, separating him from his son upon being imprisoned, and he then was later banished. That’s why he sent Sig into the city as a spy, to find his son.

At the very least, Mar had to have been an infant at the beginning of Praxis’s reign, only a couple a months old at best, so it was easy for Veger to take him. However, he couldn’t hold onto the child for long, because he ‘lost him to the Underground’.

Therefore, the max amount of time Praxis has been in power should be about 4 years. Granted, this number can change increase depending on if you think Mar was kidnapped in Spargus or Haven, but for what was presented to us in the games, it’s most likely the latter being the actual canon cause they don’t specify.

However, when you make this the exact number of years Praxis has been in power, certain details don’t make sense and contradict these facts. The major one is actually a part of the physical world design- and I’m not talking about the map itself. I’m talking about an important detail.

I’m referring to the Baron’s statue in Haven City.

Now, with how the statue crumbles, along with the crunchy sound affects after it’s hit with the laser/light/whatever that was, people would assume that the statue is made of stone or a material along those lines, right? Wrong.

If you look closely, the inside of the statue’s head it’s shown to be hollow on the inside. And notice anything else? The color looks akin to the shade of the Statue of Liberty(probably another thing inspired by GTA- I don’t know if any of the games at the time take place in New York City, but this is all speculation)

However, why I bring up the specifics of the material being used to make this statue is important, because if this was made the same way the Statue of Liberty was made, it would have taken 9 YEARS TO FINISH(give or take).

This completely contradicts all of the information I previously presented, so in my fic I changed the statue from being a completely finished structure to being at the beginning of its construction.

Now, everyone must be thinking, what does this all have to do with the slavery of the Lurkers? It’s exactly what I pointed out at the beginning of the rant- You must consider the timeline you made before putting in these kinds of details.

If you have Lurkers that have only been enslaved after Baron Praxis was put into power, that means if we consider the fact that it would only be at a max 4 years, it’s most likely not bigotry being the primary reason he did so.

If it were to have been longer than that, you’ll then have to consider the fact that Damas may have participated in such a inhumane practice along with the entirety of his bloodline, possibly even Mar himself.

However, if it’s the former like how I personally believe, it most likely happened this way-

The Lurkers and Precurians did have conflicts in the past because of the aftermath of Gol and Maia, but they soon came to an understanding with each other after these fights. This could either be because-

They saw that they were more alike than they realized via experiencing each other’s cultures and people realizing the fighting wasn’t worth it, or-

They found respect in each other when a common enemy, The Metal Heads, appeared. They then realized fighting amongst themselves was going to kill them, so they made a truce that grew into a strong bond between their factions.

It could be both of these reasons in varied combinations, or it could’ve been neither. Either way, they reconciled somehow. Therefore, it was most likely not hatred and bigotry being the sole factor of their future enslavement at the hands of the Baron’s rule.

The Lurkers must have been aligned with Haven in the fight against the MetalHeads, but the Baron broke that alliance when he enslaved a large portion of the Lurker people, betraying their trust. Why? Most likely because they would’ve retaliated when Damas was banished from the kingdom and are fiercely loyal to people they consider friends. He doesn’t want to lose his new founded position, so he attacks first, and enslaves the Lurkers that didn’t escape him.

I only came to these conclusions solely based on the time frame I grasped from the given information the game presents. You can all come to different conclusions depending on which facts you think are the best to go with, even changing key facts like where and when Mar was born and all that stuff.

However, you must still consider the implications that your headcanons/alternate universes have, and take extra care to iron out any contradictions caused by such details. I do it everyday with my work, and I urge you all to do the same.

———

Nobody else has sent an ask like this before so if you want to send me more, please do so. That goes for everyone else out there as well 🤗.

[ruthlesslistener]

4, 9, and 14 for Theodonalus

And 6, 22, and 24 for Takhanobou!

And not from the Ask Game but how did you come up with their names? I think they’re really cool and unique!

Theodonalus:

4. What is something that they’re secretly good at? Do they have a hidden talent, such as being a brilliant kazoo player or a master chess wizard?

-Theo is an amazing singer! The Queynï are one of the few dragons who are capable of true song, and are famous for immortalizing history, folklore, and tales they pick up on their migration paths into long ballads. Theo pretty much never sings, since he's a self-selected outcast from his tribe, but his voice is exceptionally compelling and his storytelling immaculate. His relationship with his voice is somewhat conflicted, as it was his only feature that made the rest of his tribe pay a lick of attention to him other than considering him a pitiful dead-spirited dragon, but that particular gripe faded with time, and later legends came to claim that his voice had an ethereal, spellbinding quality to it.

9. Tell me your favorite moment with your OC. (Either that you wrote or drew.)

-Haven't written it yet, but it has to be when Theo goes claw-to-fang with Verada, Takhanobou's adoptive mother. To lure her into a blind rage, he mutilated the corpse of one of her new hatchlings (that died from neglect, but she was unaware of this fact), then spat the body out at her and mocked her, which enraged her so much that she locked her focus onto him, allowing Takhanobou the opening to leap onto her back and snap her neck

wait fuck, i forgot i doodled it

14. Does your OC have any superstitions? Good luck rituals? Do they believe in and/or practice the arcane arts?

-Dragons aren't really religious; they believe themselves to be the most powerful form of life at their apex, which means no gods for them. They do, however, have a very keen sense of the cycle between life and death, and believe that when they die, the creatures that feed on their corpse will take their life essence, and who they were will become one with the land, a belief that's pretty much exactly in line with how magic works in their world. Theo is more connected to this natural pulseline than most, but he never consciously tapped into it, nor was as reverent about it as the rest of his kin (when you grow up with everyone expecting you to die, and then viewing you as spiritually dead because you are incapable of flight, the first most important thing to your tribe, then you tend to not care as much about death as the rest of them, apart from being very determined not to meet it).

Takhanobou:

16. How organized is your OC? Do they like to have a place for everything and everything in its place, or do they live inside a tornado of chaos and mayhem?

-Taki is actually pretty damn neat, to the point where it would be considered obsessive-compulsive in our world. Part of this is because Verada wanted him to remain as scentless and pristine as possible (the better for him to look like an idealistic killing machine for her cause), but it's also just because he's naturally an orderly dragon who likes his living space to be clean. He is far more diligent about dragging old bones and meat out of the den than Theodonalus, and when they finally settle in a place that allows for a courtship-hoard to be accumulated, he makes sure that its always neatly arranged and carefully placed in an area that makes it easy to defend- anything less will make him anxious. The sole exception to this rule is during or after battles, where he will stalk around with blood crusted all over him and his wounds still seeping blood, a display done with the sole purpose of scaring the everloving shit out of any other dragons in the nearby vicinity.

22. If your OC were a real person, would you be friends with them? Why or why not?

-Lmao hell to the fuck no. All my ocs are my property to arrange and mutilate as I wish. All my enjoyment of characters in general comes entirely from the fact that they are fictional narrative tools. I do not want my life to intersect with my own.

that being said i do have a self insert in my own universe (two actually, bc i am god) who is khazari, and i am half the size of taki at his adult age. if i got into a fight with him- and i would- he would fucking kill me. no thank you.

24. What is your OC’s favorite food? Can they cook it? Where do they get their food? (And most importantly, do you feed your OCs enough? Don’t forget to throw them a meal once in a while.)

-Taki's favorite food is gazelle, as I said! And no, he cannot cook it, though this is not his fault in the slightest. He either eats it raw, or he devours it in the manner that all fire dragons, which is burned to cinders on the outside and raw as fuck on the inside. Sometimes half raw half charred, depending on if he chose to kill it with fangs and talons or with flame. He hunts all of his own food, though Theo does half of the hunting after they become mates, and pretty much only starts eating enough/healthily after he's exiled from the Isles. Part of this is because there was a famine going on in that part of the world, and part of it was that Verada was forcing him to hunt on his own instead of collaboratively with her and the rest of his nestlings, which sharpened his wits and killing skill at the expense of gurenteed meals. I mean, he probably got more nutrition in him than his 'siblings'- eating a variety of small prey compared to the macrofauna that his tribe normally eats means he got more of a range of food in him during harsh times- but it still wasn't enough. The Shurya-Khazhar also don't know how to fish, as they are an inland locale of fire dragons whose large, bulky frames are more suited for taking down large prey, so Theo teaching him how to fish also helped quite a bit.

(Interestingly, spineback boar is his least favorite type of meat, despite it being favored prey of the Khazari. This becomes less surprising when one realizes that Verada only fed him spineback when he failed his hunts, which means that he associated its taste heavily with failure and her cold disapproval.)

.

As for how I named them- I honestly cannot remember in the slightest, because I made them waaaay back in 2013. I just remember that 'Theodonalus' was meant to dance on the tongue while 'Takhanobou' was meant to be pronounced with a harsh growl. I can say, however, that Theo's name roughly translates to 'ghost wind rising' (aka 'soon to be dead'), while Takhanobou was named after the massive volcano that the Khazari believe the first of their kin to have risen from, and very roughly means 'cleansing destruction, fire of creation', though linguistic drift and fracture of the tribe into different subregions has caused some issues with translation

[suugrbunz]

Hello! I was wondering if I could get a BoB ship since they’re open <3

I don’t know what info you need so have the entirety of my personal file; Appearance: 5’6, black hair just past my shoulders which I’m trying to grow out (I miss my long hair). It’s either up in a ponytail or bun for day-to-day practicality but I let it down at night. Big brown eyes which I’m learning to love. I don’t handle compliments well (makes me akward) so when people complimented my eyes, I grew to resent them. I’m learning to try to love them. I don’t wear a lot of makeup. When I do, it’s minimal and kept to a natural state. My skin tone is annoying. It’s a nice olive-bronze tone in the summertime because – beach lover – but it pales in the wintertime due to lack of sunny weather.

About Me: I grew up with childhood trauma (sexual and domestic abuse. I’ll admit it. I ain’t no snowflake) but that placed a real distrust towards men, which still stands to this day. So trusting people, men included, is a major deal. And I don’t forgive once that trust is broken. Sadly, because of this, anything involving intimacy (bedroom spice) will require patience. So I grew up too quickly which has probably caused me to be such a hard-ass and feel too vulnerable or weak when I TRY to let myself be soft. But I think it’s because I must still be trying to protect that soft, innocent little girl who didn’t deserve the cruelty of the world. Only select few are privy to the real me. But even then, I wonder who I am…y’know? But I just keep going on about my day-to-day life as best as I can and each day is one day away from a fateful day in 2019 that almost had me not breathing on this earth after an almost-attempt. It's been a few years and I’m learning to be proud of me with each day. PTSD’s a biatch. I get the occasional panic attack and nightmares still grip me, causing insomnia issues. But I deal with this quietly on my own. I struggle to lean on others or seek others for comfort. I should. I’m there for others but I don’t let them be there for me. It’s not good for someone who goes to the bathroom to cry…and walk out moments like with her head held high like nothing happened. Is it bravery or stupidity? We’ll never know.

Hobbies: I love reading. I love going for long walks, particularly at sunset. Summer beach sunset walks melt me. I also adore the idea of being kissed on Christmas Eve with the snow softly falling (is this me being soft? The thing I said I struggle to figure out who I am???) I love organising things. I stress out if they’re not organised. Or, I organise things when I’m stressed. I love listening to music. Literally everything and anything. I hate cooking but I love cleaning, so I probably wouldn’t make the ideal 1940s housewife. I adore hosting (but not cooking!) summertime barbeques! Having guests over with that friendly get-together vibe. Which, again, is a big deal if I host it as I don’t trust those easily and very selective of who I would welcome into the safe space of my house. Anywho, I think I turned this into a therapy session. I’m sorry. I just want to be paired with someone who would take the broken parts of me into consideration, y’know? Thank you my darling!

I ship you with ...

Don Malarkey

He just seems stable & like someone who could take care of you. Of course, there might be others but we will proceed with him !!

He seems deeply empathetic & as if he has the ability to be deeply calming to someone.

Especially someone who has experienced rough parts of life... After all, he has as well.

So you two can bring comfort to each other when needed.

You two go to beaches to calm down, though he has the tendency to burn. Crispy ginger man.

Anyway

Music!!! I also listen to everything and anything. I just made a playlist entitled that and it's 22 hours long!

You definitely make playlists together just because

Using the collab option on Spotify like no one else does (not that anyone really does anyway)

He'll cook for you. Idk how it'll come out but good luck.

He'll kiss you on Christmas eve

Making your wishes come true is his favourite pastime.

Had a nightmare? Time for midnight tea.

He'll try to stay up with you as long as he can. He may pass out, but it's the thought that counts.

[romilly-jay]

In The Unplanned Second Chance Saloon: The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare

***spoilers***

CW: Very significant number of throwaway deaths (inflicted by the 'Good Guys', obvs) - fruitily overdone English Upper Class accents and lots of irritating public school type joshing - references to and glimpse of the mostly off-screen torture and murder of a woman.

=====================

I'm having an interestingly hard time getting started with this and I wonder whether that's a little bit to do with the fact that Princess Marina [Hyde] hates Guy Richie soooo much and is soooo disparaging about him on The Rest is Entertainment?

Definitely, maybe.

So, rushing to get to the <3 of the matter: We watched TMOUW on the first day it was released and found it... stunningly boring for a movie that involved so much gunfire and so many things blowing up.

Our immediate reaction was: SAS Rogue Heroes did it (much) better.

Then, this week we watched it again and it... had got better? It hadn't, naturally, changed at all, but we enjoyed it considerably more on the second viewing. I guess that's because we'd adjusted for all the things we knew it wasn't going to be and that left more space just to enjoy the structure and delivery of the story on its own terms.

I also had headspace to notice that the first third of the movie was IMO focused, purposeful and pacey and Worked Really Well. There was a pre-credits cold open action sequence that I found genuinely gripping, then a well-positioned, not overly long recap ("I guess you're wondering how we got here..."), and into another obnoxious, against-all-odds, enjoyable-on-its-own-terms, action sequence, this time the storming of a prison camp to complete the crew.

All much more impressive and high octane and unlikely than the real story where the members of what would become SOE (Special Operations Executive) were notably less impervious to bullets.

In the cold light of day, I'd mutter something about the real missions of SOE were quite dangerous and adrenaline-fuelled and didn't necessarily need to be 'sexed up' but horses/courses, genre choices.

Side note - one of many reasons we expected to be the perfect audience for this movie was S's abiding interest in all things WW2 and with particular interest in the exploits of the SOE. We were for example huge fans of the 2018 reality show that put modern participants through the SOE selection process:

Back to TMOUW and - TBH, I still found all the sequences at the destination port slow-to-tedious. Even the parts that involved the climactic action, in which the Daring Few cause chaos across the port and half-hinch an important ship.

The femme fatale still came across to me personally as very wooden (perhaps she was going for "English Restraint"?) but this time I was able to enjoy her rendition of Mack The Knife. The first time I spent the entire song fulminating about the fact that she'd changed outfit MID COSTUME PARTY - a party she'd insisted the German Baddie Officer attend with her as Caesar and Cleopatra. Why would you ditch your fabulous barely-there green dress and Cleo wig right at the point that you're trying to force and fascinate him into staying???

This is probably why - a candid pic of the dress ahem reveals that this white gown is also a Most Excellent Dress. Photo is an off-screen pic from the downtime while the crew was filming at HMS Belfast - which in the movie and ocean-CGI'd to the gills, stood in for the ship that confronts our heroes off the coast of Africa.

This assessment has become kinder when we then watched I Care a Lot and found she was in that as well, playing the co-conspirator girlfriend. Which IMO she does with style and energy.

So, backing away from my initial position that the actor in qu was terrible and only managed to get cast in the movie because she's dating someone. [Maybe I'll come back to this movie but in case I don't - that movie goes a bit too hard into the DARK side of dark comedy for my tastes, but, conversely, I thought the abrupt comeuppance at the end was earned and appropriate. I've just read a review where the focus was on how much the reviewer liked the movie in general but disliked the ending tremendously, so - shrug?]

[salescalability]

Courses Sales Management

3 TRAITS OF A BAD SELLER

Just yesterday I was in a conversation with a sales leader of a leading professional services firm and we had this very interesting discussion around the traits of a Bad seller. We debated this a bit to say can someone really be bad and stay in that role? On doing a deeper analysis we realized that what we are possibly referring to is the profile of sellers who possibly haven’t upgraded their skills to be relevant today. So they may have been good at this role a few years ago or were taught these traits by someone who was good it but may not be relevant to today’s marketplace. 

The first one that made it to the list, is the sellers who believe “Everyone is a Prospect.” These sellers are usually very hard working and spend a lot of time in sales activity. They have a broad demographic profile and they keep targeting this, still believing in the law of probability! You speak to 5 prospects, 3 will listen and 1 will buy! Agreed maybe a decade or so ago this would work. For brands that had close to a monopoly in their marketplace and the only activity for sales was to expand coverage this was a good way to work. This may still work to some extent in product sales where the product is in the commodity space. However, if you sell “nice to have” products/ services and are operating in the premium positioning it’s important to know that everyone is not your prospect. It is then important to define what your “Ideal Customer Profile “looks like! If you had a choice what attribute would define your Ideal customer? The best way to do this is to look at deals you won and deals you lost and look at what are your strengths in the deals you win? Why did they buy from you? What attributes in the customer helped you Win the deal? This would help you define your “Ideal Customer Profile”.

The second one, was “ I am good at Networking”. Since the profession of sales has been recognized possibly, we have recognised that the trait of making connections is helpful in sales. Networking used to be important to build your database and a lot of sales people would go to events and seminars just to collect visiting cards. Today, it’s not enough to network cause more important than “Who do you know? “Is the question “What would be their top of the mind recall of you? “It’s no more about collecting visiting cards or LinkedIn connections in this new world of social media. It’s important to have created an impact, left an impression, established some credibility with few who matter. This is important so that when they think of you they have a positive association of an experience in their mind. 

The third one was “ I can talk myself into any situation”. That seller who is a good talker used to be selected in interviews only because of the gift of the gab. When people due to fear of rejection would get tongue tied if you could go out there are talk in every situation you could possibly get face time with the customer and hence using law of probability also win the order. In the world connected by technology the ability to talk is important but more important than that is the ability to ask and listen. Today customers do not want sellers to sell to them but they want sellers to consult, advice, offer expertise, share perspective and none of this is possible if the seller is focused on what I am going to say, instead the focus needs to be on what am I going to ask! Research tells us that the sellers fail with the 80% syndrome – seller speaks 80% of the time, 80% of that time he speaks about his product/ service / solution and 80% of that is in statements. 

“Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them yourself.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

[merulast]

To Tokyo by public transport, Day 10 - The end

This post is going to be an very tough one. Please understand that I will try to make it as short as possible.

Trans Kavkaz

This post is written from the subjective position of an west european person. Many might not understand. But for me it was the pure horror to travel with Trans Kavkaz. Personal thing. Might not apply to you.

Trans Kavkaz offers bus rides from Tbilisi to Vladikavkaz. They are an russian company and charge 2000 rubel aka 20€ for a ride. You can book via whatsapp. They are friendly and kind.

About the driving. He does 90 in a 50 Zone. Also in towns with dogs, children and or cows.

He turns over whatever gets in front of him. Whenever. Where ever.

Even on the mountain roads when there is an 50 meter cliff just centimeters besides of you. He wont hesitate to go 90 in a 40 zone and turn over

And yes of course you cannot see if there is something on the other lane. There pits all the time. He just 'trusts' that there will be no truck to kill us all

Once there WAS a truck. We just moved back to the right, pushing the car to our right off the lane. It was pure luck that there had been 1 meter of gravel before the cliff. Otherwise that guy would had been dead.

I will never. NEVER drive with this company again. I will never even drive this road again knowing, people like him are out there. I would never ever cross this area in general again. I feel happy for everyone that feels like this is nothing special. For the others in the bus it was nothing special.

Hell!

The Border

I hopped out the bus. Kissed the ground a few times. Was able not to puke. Showed my Passport and E-Visa. They had some questions, that s why I had to come to the back office for someone that could translate. In fact they just wanted to know where I want to go and why. China and Tourist was okay as response.

Vladikavkaz

In Vladikavkaz I got kicked out of the bus since my special threatment on the boarder had caused some delay in the schedule and he had to make up for it.

The city itself is an 100% Soviet Style city and is wonder full and clean. I had no trouble getting an Russian sim card near the central bus Station (in a Mal to the south) and if the first Taxi would not have put me to the wrong KFC I would also had no issue with getting to my hostel that I booked online.

I would really liked to spend more time here. I even saw gaming Shops where you could play PC games.

If only. Well. There was not this bad feeling. Not only the near dead bus ride I just had. But also the bigger issues. It's so sad. I still don't understand the 'why' behind all this actions. I wish I could enjoy this part of my journey without this huge shadow lingering around.

Rock Hostel

I simply selected the Rock hostel because with 7€ a night it was the most cheap option to book from outside of Russia. I somehow expected it to be an ugly thing like the Train-Hotel in Georgia. Maybe worse. With probably fleas and stuff. You know. For that price and seeing hotels being worse.

But no. ROCK Hostel ROCKS!

Its location? Close to the tourist sections. Its price? Unbeatable!

The whole thing is inside an old industry building with 5 meter high walls. They use this extra space to introduce 3 level Beds. 3 Levels! I Love this shit. I love the whole, very clean industrial style of the Building. The general room has an kitchen with everything. The bathrooms and toilets are clean and they offer water and snacks right into the hostel.

For me it was 12 out of 10. It shows how much you could do with such an place. Thank you so much.

(I loved this!)

And last but not least: They have an washing machine and a dryer just for free use. I was able to finally wash my stuff. This alone deserves pure love.

Summary

Very intense Day. I spend 7€ for the whole thing. How? Because Transhellkaz forgot to take my money. And to be honest: When kicked out if was so deep in shock. I simply forgot. Sorry for being not sorry about being not sorry.

For this money you could just buy any Lego mini figure. Any. Or an booster pack. Have fun.