#it was a hassle to change them so i didnt

[stardoopy]

What an odd sheep

[coridallasmultipass]

I am once again begging online shop payment processing companies to allow me to enter a separate name for shipping and separate name for billing!!

It's the same address, I'm just trans and have not legally changed my personal name, but I still prefer to receive mail as my preferred name! Like it's literally my professional name, I do business as my preferred name.

Annoying as fuck, and I don't want to chance my bank rejecting the payment (though I'm sure someone at my bank has put a note to allow it on my account by now, since I've contacted them a couple times before when I realized too late that the billing section didn't let me input another "address/name" section, and they said the payment was fine in those cases.)

Anyway, legal name changes should be free and non-advertised for everyone. Tbh, you should get a free name change every time you file your taxes on time as an incentive for good citizen behaviour. Once I am elected pres-

[oakwolves]

Also I said this in the tags of my other post but I'm calling her Celeste Yang! So if you see anything with that name mentioned, I'm talking about her!

[the0ther-side0f-dawn]

my controversial opinion is that despite any logic, based mainly on vibes/intuition, that piercings are somehow less permanent and less commitment than tattoos

[three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat]

PLAYSTATION 2? FUCK

[emotionally-damaged-carrot]

Charles leclerc x male reader

Reader is sneaking around with Charles (while madly in love with him) and he's carlos's little brother

Possible f1 car fucking while in the garage after a race or at night

Charles Leclerc x Male reader

"Brother's teammate"

Holy fuck this pic makes me go feral, just legit gives me the horny hormones. Makes me want to "NGHH~" every time I see it, I want him to devour me.

Anyway sorry it took a while, been very busy lately, and sorry if it's kinda messy. It's honestly a lot longer than what I had in mind, hope you still enjoy tho 🙏

Warning: smut, kinky car smut or something, obviously hard core cause rawr

(also I used google translate, don't come at me 🙏)

Holy fuck I was busy last week and the week prior, sorry it took so long. I didnt proof read cause it's too long and idk what I even wrote, I just wanted to get this out cause it's been bugging me for some time now. Hope you lot still enjoyed even though it might be shit 🤷‍♂️. You get what you get and you don't bitch about it, jk, might not do anymore f1 ccar fucks holy shit. Peace ✌️

I was never interested in motor sports, until Carlos joined ferrari and got a demi god for a teammate. I never attended any of his races and until he went to ferrari.

"You've attended every race ever since I joined ferrari, what happened?" Carlos asked me as we were walking through the paddock.

"Can't I support my older brother in his passion?" I asked feigning annoyance while also looking around for a certain monegasque driver.

"When your brother hated something suddenly take interest in the thing he hates, is quite concerning, no?" He asked me with confusion laced in his voice.

"And? Come on, Carlos, people change, you know this." I say as I spot the monegasque, my eyes lighting up. He was talking with Lando, he briefly looked up and we made eye contact giving me a smirk.

"Y/n. Y/n. Y/n." I look up as I get cut off from my starstruck sate, seeing Carlos a few feet infront of me.

"¿Qué diablos pasó? What happened y/n?" Carlos says approaching me.

"N-nothing, just, uhm, r-remembered something." I say, looking down to hide the blush crawling up my neck.

"Doesn't seem like nothing, you okay?" He asks confused and concerned, as he put the back of his hand on my forehead.

"Yea, yea, I'm fine." I say as I removed his hand from my forehead. 'He knew what he was doing, if only he wasn't so sexy with that smile and that french accent.'

"What happened here, Carlos?" The light pink of my cheeks now getting redder as I recognized the accent of the person speaking, and the familliar smell. 'Charles'.

"I don't know, he says he's fine but suddenly stopped and blushed while looking down. I have to go now though, so can you watch over him for a bit?" Carlos says, still worried and confused.

"I think he's just dehydrated, I'll take him to get water, you go ahead and do what you need to do." Charles says as he wraps and arm around my shoulder, with his body a bit too close.

"Good to know I have that effect on you." He says as I look up, to see Carlos gone.

"You're a dick, Leclerc." I said with a chuckle and finally standing up properly and leaning my head on his shoulder.

"I know you love my dick, but, keep it for later, bit hassle here in the paddock, no?" He says in a whisper as he leaned down to my ear.

"I swe- I-I wi- I hate- I loathe you." I say as I bury my head further into his shoulder.

He just gives a chuckle and leads me to the caf. I look around, I see George, Alex, Lando and Danny sitting at a table. 'Perfect'

"Let's sit over there with the rest of the quartet and dan." I motioning to them with a wicked smile on my lips.

"You'll regret it, darling." He says as he laughs. We made our way to the table, greeted everyone and sat down beside each with Danny to my left and Charles to my right.

"Thank God, y/n, we have a question, and only you can fix this at the moment." George says with a serious look on his face meanwhile the others had smiles on theirs.

"What is it?" I say now a bit curious.

"Did Carlos really understand Lando when he said "soy lago"? Did Carlos understand what Lando meant or no?" George asked looking directly at my eyes.

"If I'm honest, I didn't bother to ask him. He probably needed Lando to explain it tho." I say with a huff, and looking at Lando who looked happy.

"I will take that as "Carlos did not understand what Lando meant." I guess I was right then, Lando is still shit at spanish." George said now laughing at Lando.

As the other two bickered, I felt Charles sit down next to me now with a tray of food.

"When did you get that?" I asked confused, surely my interaction with George wasn't that long.

"As soon as you sat down I went to get food." He says with a smile while handing me a sandwich, and orange juice.

"Sure hope you're not as fast later." I whispered to his ear giving it a bite.

"I like taking my time when it comes to you, you know, I like savouring the moment. The way you would moan my name and beg for me, it's honestly hot. Especially the way you look all red and gasping under me." Charles whispers to my ear, accent heavier and teeth grazing my ear.

'He knows I love it when he does that, fuck.'

"Y-you're not allowed to do that unless you're about to fuck me to next week." I say a bit loud and hitting his shoulder.

"Excuse me, what?" Lando says surprised with wide eyes, same with George.

Charles laughs loudly, bending forward and burrying his face in his arms on the desk.

"You're excused." I say sarcastically and blushing way too hard now, that it's comparable to Charle's shirt.

"W-w-wait, you two are... a thing??" George asks more like shouted, surprised.

"You might as well put out a PSA while you're asking, George." I say annoyed and even more embarrassed now, as almost everyone was looking at us, it's not helping that Charles is still hysterically laughing into the table.

"Sorry, was just surprised, like, when? How? Why? What??" George asked looking a bit excited to hear the answers.

"Hola Amigos, what's happening?" Carlos said beside me, putting an arm around my shoulder.

Charles lifts his head up a bit, looking at me and starts to laugh even more, seeing that I am now very red, redder than before.

"Carlos, mate, n-nothing, really h-happened I g-guess y/n is just feeling a b-bit warm r-right now." Charles answers, trying his hardest to stop his laughter even for a bit.

"I fucking hate you." I said silently but audible enough for both Carlos and Charles to hear.

"Okay, I'm just gonna grab some food then I have to go back for testing." Carlos says skeptically still not fully convinced that nothing was happening. As he went to get his food I grabbed Charles' hand and dragged him outside. Leaving a giggling Lando and George behind.

As he exitted Charles was calmer now and ceased laughing as he saw my face a bit angry.

"I can change your mood." He said out of nowhere and then taking the lead, walking us both to a secluded enough part of the paddock where almost no one goes. Stopping as we arrived, he took both my hands and stared at my eyes, green orbs meeting mine. After a few seconds, we dove right into each other, lips sliding past the other smoothly. His tounge licking my bottom lip asking for entrance, I obliged eagerly while letting out small moans. His hands now on my hips and mine tangled in his hair, pulling from time to time to hear his groans. Our tounges fighting for dominance, which I obviously lost, and now his tounge is exploring my mouth, like his mapping out the places in case he got lost, or simply to memorize the crevices of my teeth, the texture of my cheeks or the feeling of my tounge gently poking his.

Our heated kissing caused him to pin me against a nearby wall, slamming me against it with a bit of force, but his hand was already at the back of my head tangled in my hair, providing cushion. The hand that remained on my hip squeezed tight, making me open my mouth wider.

"There we go, all gone, you look much better now." Charles says with a smirk as he rests his forehead against mine. Both of us breathing heavily, in need of air after that intense make out session.

"I fucking hate you." I say, now in a daze, lazily resting my body against the wall and looking at his eyes. Admiring his eyes, like they are gems of unfathomable beauty that only a God can comprehend.

"You know you don't."

"No, I don't."

We both chuckle as we fixed ourself and walked out in the open, and headed to the garage for him to get ready for the race.

—

After the race, Carlos got P2 and Charles got P1 with Lando getting P3, what a surprise, no Max on the podium. Probably because of the crash with yuki.

As they spray each other with champagne, I stand on the side with the rest of the ferrari team, waiting for them to get down.

—

After all the media and partying, I found myself alone with Charles, walking back to the garage.

"What exactly did you forget?" I asked confused as we were the only ones left in the garage when we walked in.

"This." He said, and I turned to look at him in confusion, only to be met by a pair of lips on mine and my back against the door. His tounge immidiately went in for the kill, no teasing, and he was in no mood to fight a battle he would always win. He pushed my tounge down everytime I tried to move it remotely close to his.

"You're kinky, Leclerc, I guessing you want to fuck me on your car?" I asked as I pulled back, I needed to pull his head back as well to prevent him from chasing me. Which I succeeded hearing a disappointed groan from him.

"You're my lucky charm, and of course I wanna bless my car with luck as well." He mumbles as he dove into my neck, biting, sucking and kissing every part he can reach. I moaned as I felt him lick a few drops of sweat.

"I drank pineapple juice earlier, incase you wanted to know." He said now biting harder, one of my legs get held up by his strong arms, I peak down to his biceps. Seeing them bulge and seeing the veins from his hand up to his arm, brought me arousal that I didn't know was even possible. Slowly my hands began to wonder into the hems of his jeans and shirt, caressing his abs and teasing his boxers.

"You're a fucking tease, mi amor. And I'm in no mood for that, do me a favour and get on your knees." He says giving one last hard bite on my neck making me pull on his hair, surely leaving teeth marks on my neck. I do as he says, he let go of me completely and I kneel infront of him, my hands on my lap and my eyes trained on his green ones thst are now darker.

"You look so pretty like that, all eager and ready for me. You like that don't you?" He says in a low tone and squatting so we're face to face once more. He put his hand on my chin, his thumb playing with my bottom lip.

"You know this is where you belong right?" He asks in a loving manner, and I nod to answer his question.

"This is what you were meant to be, my fuck toy." He said now smirking as he let go of my chin and stood up.

"Remember how I told you I drank pineapple juice earlier?" I didn't need to be told twice, as soon as the words pineapple juice left his mouth, I immidiately unbutton and unzipped his pants. Now standing in from of me with only his shirt and boxers that can barely contain the monster of monaco.

"Wow, eager." He says as he smiles down at me. I removed his boxers letting it fall on the floor along with his pants. My hand snapped to grab a hold of the beauty that's inches from my mouth, I opened my mouth to devour his meat. As I slowly take it in he suddenly jerked forward and put his hand behind my head to pull me in, making me deep throat him.

"Fuck, I always miss your mouth whenever I'm racing, remembering how you like it when I fuck you after working out or after racing." He says as he looked in bliss and letting out small gasps of air. I full on choke, tears running down my cheeks. I tried to pull back, but he kept me down for a second longer before pulling me back. His cock now covered in my spit some of it dripping down to his balls and falling on his pants.

"I'm sorry, I just needed that." He says as he steps out of his boxers and pants. His hand running through my hair as I continue on coughing, my face turning a bit red.

"You always looked good when you're red." He said as he grabbed my hair rough and making me look up at him, tears running down my cheeks, spit dripping down the sides of my mouth.

"You look fucking delicious right now, amour. If only you could see how you look." He says as he pushes his cock against my lips, my mouth opening on instinct, and letting him push it. But now he does it slowly and more gently than earlier.

"That's it, good boy. You've always been my good boy, haven't you?" He says as I slowly suck his cock feeling the veins against my tounge. I look up at him to see how much pleasure I bring him, my own cock hard as a rock from the groans and moans his letting out.

"Fuck, if you keep looking at me like that, I will hold you down and cum down your throat." He says in between groans and his hips stuttered a bit. A sign that he's close. I keep sucking in a slow and steady pace, taking my time.

"I'm gonna cum." He suddenly says and pushed my head down, making me choke again. I feels his cum going down my throat as I cough around his cock.

"Fuck." I heard his say under his breat as he pulls my head back and making me look up at him, a string of spit and cum connect my lips to his cock.

"You're fucking beautiful, darling." He says, his thumb caressing my bottom lip, feeling and smearing the mixture around.

"Now I want you to be a good boy, strip and bend over the side of my car." I do as he says with eagerness, as I strip down to nothing I feel his eyes on me. I feel his lust filled gaze staring at me, specifically, my ass. After stripping I so ceremoniously took my time to walk and bend over the side of the car. Making sure to sway my hips making my ass jiggle.

"You are such a fucking tease."

"You love it."

"I'll detroy you the moment I get to you, I will make sure you will feel whose dick it was that made you unable to walk for a week. I will make sure you won't forget that ache inside you whenever I fuck you, I will make sure you won't forget who it is that can do that to you... I will make you, you forget your name and only remember mine as you moan it for the world to know. That I am the one you belong to."

Charles said as he approached me slowly until he is right behind me, his tip gently probing at my hole. He slowly wrapped himself around me as he whispered the last parts to my ear with the rasp and growl that I love.

"I will make you beg for me to stop."

I said as he entered me in one swift motion and biting my ear. I out loud surprised by his actions. My legs almost gave and but my arms already did, I lay my torso on the side of the car my face in the cockpit 'it still smells like him' I thought to myself as I breathed deeply, inhaling his musk. He continued to fuck into me roughly, one of his hands now on my hair pulling it hard making me moan in pain. I can hear him breathing heavily the other hand on my waist is gripping it hard, leaving marks. Being overwhelmed with pain and pleasure I came unannounced on the side of the car a few drops managing to get on the seat.

"D-did you just cum?"

He asked with pauses in between words to catch his breath.

"F-fuuuck, S-sorry."

I apologized as his grip on my waist tightened, he continued mercilessly fucking into me like I am a toy. Tears now streaming down my face dropping on the seat mixing with my sweat.

"Y-you should've a-atleast told m-fuck."

He couldn't finish his sentence as he came deep inside me. Painting my red walls white. He continued to fuck into me slowly.

"Since, you came without even telling me. How about you won't cum for the a week, starting now."

He said slowly breathing normally as he started moving fast and hard, pulling me up against his chest I can feel his sweat on my back and the ones dropping from his hair. I laid my head on his shoulder as he buries his face on my neck: kissing, licking, biting and leaving marks. My hands go to his hands that are holding me tight against him.

"You always taste good and sound heavenly."

He said against my neck as he breathe heavily. He continued to fuck into me, dropplets of sweat dropping on the car and the floor, I can feel his previous load being pushed out of my as he came again deep inside me. This time not stopping or slowly down, i tried to hold down my own orgasm so as to not disobey him and make my punishment worse.

"I'm still hard and ready to go, I can do this all night y/n. You better not cum or I'm putting a cock ring on you."

He said on my ear as one of his hands snaked up my body and wrapped around my neck. My hands gripping the side of the cockpit and he continued to fuck into me without stopping, his heavy breathes against my neck my ear and his grip on my neck is too much. I couldn't hold back anymore and I came again.

"You are really naughty tonight."

He said in between heavy breathes and he gripped my dick, and pumping it up and down, that combined with his heavy thrusts and the feeling of being full to the point his cum is overflowing was too much. I tried to push his hand away and push his hips away, pushing against his abs.

"P-please, C-c-charlessss, too m-m-much."

I said in between moans and labored groans.

"You're my toy, y/n, and toys don't talk back to their owner, do they? They just sit there and let it happen."

He said breathing in-between words and he grabbed both my hands in his right and held them tight not letting them move. And his left hand continued to stroke me.

"Be a good boy and take what I give you, you don't have a say in this, amor."

He said against my ear as my moans turned to screaming of his name and begging him to stop.

"Do you really want me to stop, hm?"

He asked me as he slowed down a bit, already missing the pain and ache. I shake my head and asked him why he stopped as tears streamed down my face.

"Well, people might hear you begging me to stop, I guess I have to do something as that mouth of yours."

He said between breathes as the hand that was holding my return to my neck as and slowly went up to my mouth, putting his middle and ring finger inside.

"Suck."

He commanded and I immidiately obeyed, moaning around his fingers as he continued his previous pace.

"F-fuck."

He whispered after a bit, I felt him cum inaide my again, my cock now all ready begging to cum as well.

"If you cum I won't fuck you for a week."

He said with a chuckle. I just whimpered and pushed back against him, feeling his sweaty body sliding against mine.

"P-p-please, I n-n-need."

Only a few words came out of my mouth as he continued again, my hole now very sore. And his thrusts became more and more painful, I bit his fingers that were inside my mouth.

"F-fuck, I'm tired."

He said as he removed his fingers from my mouth and stopped stroking me. I immidiately came as he pulled out. I leaned heavily on the car as I couldn't feel my legs.

"You okay?"

He asked in a soft voice and he made me face him and wiped the tears that were still running down my face and moved the hair sticking to my forehead.

"T-tired."

I said sleepily.

"I know, amor, d-did I go too far."

He asked me worried that he hurt me in a way I didn't like.

"N-no, just perfect."

"Good, we should get dressed so we can return to the hotel. I will clean up you can get dressed first, can you dress yoursel?"

He asked as he carried me gently putting me down on the floor next to our clothes.

"C-can't my body hurts."

I said as I looked at him he already put on his boxers.

"I'll help you, let me just clean up the mess first."

He said as he looked at my lovingly.

"T-thank you."

I said as I passed out from the exhaustion on the floor.

"Sorry if I tired you out, it's just I we haven't done it in weeks and I miss you."

I heard him say before sleeping.

Holyshit it took so long idk what happened to the ending.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not saying please/thank you?

So this is an ongoing argument with my roommate. I (22nb) am autistic, and T (55f) has ADHD.

Now to get this out of the way, i do say thank you. I was always taught to wait a moment after receiving something, take a bite or appreciate what you were given for a breath, before thanking someone so that you could add something more to it. My roommate and I both agree that i do say thank you the vast majority of the time, but the problem for her is that i do not say it fast enough.

T often gives me a "tHaNk yOu" while the item in question is still being passed. This seems ridiculous to me as i haven't even been fully given it yet.

In addition, i have the dishes as my household chore, and i do them daily, despite almost never making any dishes myself. I do this to both support T and her diet, as well as contribute to the household that i live in.

T thanks me near daily for doing the dishes. This always seems weird and unnecessary to me, as it is my responsibility. I have told her this. I dont expect to be thanked for doing my own laundry, after all. In return, T gets upset that i dont notice and thank her for taking out the garbage/recycling/compost, to which she is the main contributor to and is under her responsibilities.

As for please: i do say this much more rarely. I think it feels overly preformative and fake, and i typical choose more "would you mind closing my door for me" "if its not too much of a hassle, could you toss me my waterbottle" "id appreciate it if you could preheat the oven while you're in the kitchen"

I think that these work perfectly fine as a replacement. Please just has always felt wrong and fake. No one else in my entire life has ever commented on this before.

Thirdly; T has been upset that i don't respond to her apologies appropriately. After she is snappy at me (due to her emotional disregulation from ADHD) (last time it was because i asked if she was using the oven instead of asking if i could use the oven myself, for reference) there is a 50/50 shot that she will come and apologize.

I dont often accept apologies. Apologies are for the person saying them to get it off their chests, or to make you put it behind them. Usually, ill say something like "it was just one of those days, y'know?" Or "its alright, water under the bridge"

Because i was always taught that apologies came with a promise of change, and T can't (or won't) change how she re-directs her frustration at unrelated things to things ive done "wrong". When she told me the correct response was "i forgive you", i decided to not engage instead of telling her directly that i didnt forgive her (because i am certain she will do it again). (I usually dont engage with her when shes irritated: she never notices and just wants to say her piece so im not being rude here)

She said that i was being disrespectful, "like always", and when i suggested it may be more difficult for me due to my autism, she said that we made plenty of accommodations for me (which i think is false), and that i just needed to do this for her comfort. That please/thank yous were something she needed to feel appreciated and i should be making more accommodations for her.

To me, i feel like she is getting really caught up on semantics and is being a little controlling about it. But maybe its just a boundary? I dont know if i could commit to changing my language for her though, i feel like i will just start forgetting after awhile because it feels so fake. Shouldn't it be better for me to say things genuinely than just for her approval?

AITA for not saying please/thank you?

[mudzdale]

finally, my magnus opus, complete... this was an impulse, do-it-stupid project for me to tackle. i suppose it doesn't count as a ragdoll if it's made out of specifically-purchased new fabric rather than rags, though...

some process photos under the cut

feeling out the design goals + patterning. this initial pass was very inspired by @bittertoxicity 's plush designs of the cast! i wound up moving away from that as i worked, but honestly, his work is so much cuter still, and i really admire it 😄

after 3 or so failed attempts at getting well-proportioned patterning stitched & stuffed, i lopped off one piece's head and then grafted it back on to create a longer neck. unfortunately, this successfully acheived the desired effect. the epitome of my do-it-stupid technique.

the face pieces were stitched on. he is constructed entirely out of no-pill fleece (the closest accessible kind next to the puppet variety), and honesly i don't know how those raw edges are going to hold up over time. if he ever gets a second pass, this would be wiser to just do with felt.

i had wanted to simply embroider his eyebrow, but after multiple failed attempts at getting the shape right, it started to damage the fabric ): i gave up and cut an eyebrow out of fabric, and stitched it on like his other face pieces.

his clothes are removable! i fit and stitched these prior to adding his hair, correctly guessing that the hair would make it very hard to work with his developing outfit. someday, i may be inclined to make different little outfits for him, however...

the hair itself was another huge challenge (the clothes alone took weeks, fwiw). if there are patterns out there for long, non-yarn hair, i sure couldnt find them. i wound up freestyling each piece by draping them over his head like a ridiculous veil, and stitching down my "darts" from there (in quotes bc i didnt even bother to cut them away like real darts should be cut...)

overall, my vision for the hair turned out to be verrrry different than the final product, but it's probably for the best. maybe i'll experiment more if he's ever to be remade

oh, and, he is hatless because, like, i dont like the hat anyways, but in the interest of making his outfits changeable, a hat would be a lot of hassle. that's either something that has to be stitched on and cut off for outfit changes (wtf), velcro'd on (um, no way), or magnetized on (what a pain...). so i guess maybe someday, but definitely not today...

[three-dee-ess]

Sending some tips I've learned, so other people can learn it before making the same mistakes I have!(I figure you have better reach than me!) Pictures of 3ds as payment, one with the splasg screen and one with the home screen!

Now, onto the tips!

If you are going to buy replacement/spare styluses, make sure you look for ones For Your Model!!! I bought a 4 pack of styluses only to learn later that they were made for the old normal sized 3ds, and so wouldn't fit in my 3ds! While this isn't a HUGE inconvenience, it meant I kept losing them! (Side note: replacement styluses are very cheap to get! I now have 5 on my own, and I gave one to a friend and lost another!)

You don't have to buy the traditional grey brick chargers. Listen. We are in the modern age. You can get USB to ds adapters instead. Like the kind you use for your phone. They feel MUCH more durable than the old ones. I've gone through 4 of the old ones and I'm a bit tired of it. Plus these take up less space on the extension cord!

I highly recommend learning how to virtually access your 3ds SD card using FTPD! This makes it a lot easier to get non-3ds roms onto your system, especially with systems where you have to use a screwdriver to get to the card. It also makes it easier to make backups! You CAN access it remotely with official methods if it's a new 3ds, but honestly ftp transfer is a lot faster to me.

Join the 3ds hacking discord! I highly recommend searching any questions you have there as well as the Internet! Things are often changing, and unless it's a very popular site like the 3ds hacks guide, it's probably not going to stay up to date for long! Best to double check, and it can save you some hassle!

When in doubt, ask! Hacking communities tend to be very friendly and open to help, as evidenced by the blog I'm sending this too!

red o3DS

honestly I don't need the payment pictures but I'll happily take bribes in the form of them. >:3c

#1 if you have access to a 3D printer, all of the styluses have readily available free 3D models online so just get some printed!

#2 I've used those in the past! mine is currently missing but yeah it's huge. Super nice to have an extra long cable and everythin.

#3 thank u!! i didnt know that. I'll have to try it out.

#4 h u h. is there a perm url I can link to? (I dont like joining public servers myself but i'm willing to link to it!)

#5 yes yes yes yes!

[kaphzzz]

Do you use photoshop to edit your pictures? Their so crisp and clean and I just got 4k res on my pc.

If so, can you maaayyybbee give us a brief tutorial on how you enhance these for previews for tumblr. Because they always come out so clean even in the preview images.

hiii!!! omg sorry almost didnt see this! congrats on getting 4K!!! it's truly life changing *tears up*. and thanks for such a high compliment 🥹🥹🥹

i do edit my photos yes, but i don't do it in photoshop, but rather in mobile apps so i can just do it during time i cant do other stuff like on the subway so, yes, i can give a tutorial, but it's going to be general steps and guidelines :) sorry i can't give anything like photoshop specific! and i know you're only asking for editing advice but i'll go over the whole process for anyone else who wants to read this as well, so please bear with me. (and please don't take my advice too seriously, i'm only an amateur hobbyist too)

1. The base photo

So firstly, I think it's important that the base picture itself looks good when you capture it in game. With a good photo straight out of the game you can avoid a lot of further editing down the line.

One common mistake I see a lot is that the field of view will be left unadjusted to the default value, which is good for landscape shots, but for portraits it will have a wonky fisheye effect. For portraits you'd typically want to zoom in a lot so the character doesn't look super thin and distorted. In photo mode this is the "lens" option, I typically just zoom in to the max, and tweak what fits into the frame with the freecam. Here's a pic with good FOV for a zoomed in character shot vs. one with the default FOV (his whole face is skewed, as well as pupper):

Also, the in game environment is important for setting up a good shot. You'd typically want some kind of light vs. dark contrast to make your subject pop out, especially against any background. I like to use Rampage Trainer to tweak the in game time and weather and freeze them for better lighting and atmosphere, and sometimes spawn an extra light source but that's a rare case. For example, okay vs. not very okay lighting that's impossible to salvage even with editing:

I also like to blur the background and foreground in the game, with either the focus tab of photo mode or with depth of field reshade presets, because it's a big hassle to blur those during editing. It's quite subtle most of the time but really helps focus the shot on your character, especially if the background is so messy it can swallow your main subject (trees, I'm looking at you).

The photos in this section aren't edited; my point is that with good lighting, composition etc in game, your base vanilla photo can already look pretty good :D This is RDR2 after all.

2. Cropping

I typically crop my images at 3/4 or 2/3 ratio, depending on what looks better. But I think a general rule of thumb is that you want to crop your image so that the contents look balanced; I don't know how to explain this in concrete terms... Basically the same way centering your subject or cropping it by the rule of thirds serves to balance an image. All these pics are more or less 'balanced' in different ways, even though they're not straight smack centered. It's an eyeing process but I think with time it will be easier to tell how to balance your photo...

3. Editing

So! Editing!

Editing I think is just a lot of fine tuning based on what you have with the base image. Me personally, I used to do a lot of colour and lighting editing, but more recently since figuring out that you can just make your base image look good right out of the game, the editing has become a lot lighter. The game can definitely do the heavy lifting, but still editing is important.

I'll demonstrate with two images (hello my babygorls *kissy noises*):

So these two images obviously need some work. Firstly, I'll tweak the lighting, so that dark and light areas aren't too extreme, and also improve the definition/contrast, not too much, but just enough so that the subject is more defined. For Arthur's image the lighting is too murky so I used RGB curves to sort it out a bit.

Then I will colour grade it a little by tuning the warmth and the tone (not touching filters yet). For Charles, it's at night so I've made the tone a little colder for the blue, and for Arthur a little warmer, as well as some custom light patches just to make his face stand out a little more against the background. Some other mild adjustments.

Then if I think the background is still too attention stealing I'll blur it out a bit more. Again, I try to just blur it enough in game, since manually blurring is faulty and annoying.

Then if I think overall the lighting and colour is fine, I'll go through the filters the app offers to see if I can improve it a little more. Since I focus on portraits (pretty bois how could I not) and not do really cinematic/dramatic scenes I tend to stick to the more natural looking filters that just harmonise the colours a bit more.

And that's pretty much it for the editing.

On a side note, contrast is a good thing, but not limited to contrast in lighting, and not necessarily in lighting either. Contrast can be in the colour of your subject and in the back/foreground, or in the conplexity of your subject and blankness of everything else. I think for especially atmospheric photos you'd actually want less contrast for that softer feeling, and not like super hard silhouettes. So yeah, the editing process depends a lot on the image itself and what kind of emotion I want it to have.

4. Other miscellaneous things that help

Besides using mods to customise lighting and props and character pose etc. to your liking, reshade is definitely also a big help. It has a lot of presets that can help your photo to have better colours or add blur. I don't really have a recommended list since I don't remember how I set up my Reshade, but I think a lot of the most popular or built in ones work really well, just play with it and see what you like.

A mod I sometimes use for colour grading in game is the 'Seasons' mod. I don't like too much green so I often set the season to Autumn for that warmer tone to the grass and trees. The other seasons also have different colour tones so it's good for trying different tones! Without vs. with the mod set to Autumn (ignore the quality on those they are from ages ago):

5. Most importantly! Do what you think suits your visual preferences and taste!

So personally I think this is definitely the most important point! I think while you should look at others' work for inspiration and analyse what they're doing well, you should also definitely always prioritise your own preferences on what you like to see in your own pictures :D I think it's important to just do what you like in the moment instead of worrying about what's necessarily right or wrong, or looks good to others.

For example for me my style changed a lot over the past year and a half, and there was definitely a learning and realisation process along the way but I think my more recent preference isn't necessarily better and how I used to do things wasn't necessarily wrong either, it's just different taste.

Hope this was helpful!! :D

Please ask me if you've got any more questions or would like me to explain anything else <3

[wheredoesonegetnameideas]

MHA X SHADOWS HOUSE

Living Doll!Oboro and Shadow!Kurogiri because i said so

(Why is oboros hair so light 😔(also ignore the lack of shoes ok)

This is kinda weird since i feel like these 2 fandoms have literally never met but i did it anyway!!

I didnt really change much in terms of design for kurogiris shadows look, just tried to make it look more fancy and European-ish, i wanted to add a tailcoat but i'd already finished the whole thing so i gave it up.

Kurogiri in this au doesnt have his whole misty body thing, but his soot would make him look similar to canon. His soot is very fine and speards outwards in all directions, getting finer amd lighter at the edges (like mist haha). Other than making him look bigger and being hard to breath next to him, it makes cleaning a hassle for Oboro, especially since it never stops spreading. And while his soot is voluminous, it's quantity is only a bit higher than average when condensed.

I almost forget about soot powers woops, obviously portals and teleportation wouldnt be possible in this AU, so Kurogiri's soot power wouls be the equivalent to Canon!Oboro's quirk, in that he is able to produce soot "clouds" that are good for blocking vision, making hard to breath, and storing things in them depending on the size and density of the "cloud". It wouldnt be the first time he and Oboro used it for silly pranks and hiding things from the star bearers.

I also feel like as much as Oboro is outgoing, shadow!kurogiri would inherit his more subdued qualities. He would be kind, compassionate and definitely have mom friend tendencies. He also likes taking care of others (group leader of shadow!LOV maybe?), and sulks when oboro comes in everyday because he wants to help with chores. (Oboro does encourage this eventually because he is a lazy bumTM and wants less work)

While different, they are essentially reflections of each other (and thats the nice way of putting it), so they get along very well! I also think they would be friends even with the brainwashing undone. (Also i headcanon that animals HATE shadows with every fiber of their being and run away if they're in a 5m radius, and even though there is no way Grandfather(AFO?) allows them on his property, they still still get to pet (and stare at) a cute (badly colored) ginger cat :D )

And in this AU, Oboro's nose bandage would be more important than it (supposedly) is in canon, because it hides a scar along the bridge of his nose that he got on a rainy day. Its not an actual bandage tho because that is gross. It just looks like the one Kurogiri first gave him after he was treated. The scar isnt huge like Barbie's, and really the two arent important enough (or annoying enough to Edward) that Oboro would be sabotaged, but it definitely set him back from being nominated for the Unification.

Speaking of the Unification, if i were to make this AU resemble canon as much as possible, then Kurogiri and Oboro would have successfully Unified (iykyk). But thats up to you really.

As of writing this i'm really considering making the rest of the LOV as shadows (especially Toga if only to put her in the girliest dress i can find and also because her quirk would make a perfect soot power)

More details under the cut:

OMG I JUST SAW HIS EYES OOPSIE ANYWAYS

Oboro does feel guilty for ruining Kurogiri's "face", even if it was an accident. Kurogiri on the other hand doesnt resent him for it and was just relieved he wasn't disposed of. (Strangely enough, Kurogiri didn't dispel any soot that day)

The way i struggled with this part is unbelievable. It looks horrible TOT

The cat is perfect tho

You cannot convince me Oboro would clean up if it wasn't his "purpose". I cant imagine myself in that situation, i would simply pass before the Debut even happens.

Do shadows need to breath? I think they do. Does that mean Shadow!Kurogiri essentially suffocates himself the more he's upset? Wow talk abt hyperventilating

[norakelly]

Sometimes I wake up and wonder to myself, why did I chose Hinny as a ship to hyper-fixate on rather than any other. Because im more lenient towards non cannon ships in the fandoms I follow other than hp. Even though I didnt come up with a proper answer I managed to blurt out some things lol

One thing I realized was how angsty I imagine them to be. Like I do love reading the fluffy stuff and fics where they get back together very normally with no hassle and all romantic and sappy and stuff. BUT I think in my head, I deeply root for them to have more obstacles to get to where they stand in present; which where I would describe them as the coolest parents and the iconic power couple with the most earth shatteringly humorous bantering dynamic.

I LOVE when they talk. When they share moments of understandings, assured glances, blazing looks.. and istg these two would definitely be hot for each other even years after marriage. AND I would die for fics which can take us through the hardships that they face where they get through nightmares together and gets to know each other better.

Cause we really don’t receive much from the books. All we have is Harry’s perspective and NUMEROUS amounts of symbols that ties them together starting from the chamber of secrets until the very end; So im very curious when it comes to them. There are so many ways to bind them together but so much less information provided even though it is a canon ship. So, its interesting and fun to fill up that space of 19 years, that comes after a life changing event they face, which ends (series wise) with their kids going to Hogwarts.

Im actually just ranting and putting this all no-context-shit out because, this fandom is actually very nice and its just so frustrating to see how these two are not properly grasped by many ppl.

[hayatoseyepatch]

Saaaaaam congratulations on the milestone !!!!!! Looove the new event idea (and now that I’m online just in time for once and not late shellfish id like to join if you don’t mind,,,)

I’ll be asking for me and the resident loser… (narumi)

Our more or less of a tradition goes as: parading around the city and picking a spot to spend our time having a little date of sorts. Then returning home and beginning the food preparations as well as drinks. I’m definitely monitoring his alcohol as his lightweight ass cannot be trusted and I cannot risk any mishaps or accidents in the kitchen on a holiday eve. Me? It’s cocktail after cocktail baby! After a while I’ll grow bored of preparing and it’ll just be 2/3 vodka 1/3 some fruit juice in my favorite glass.

Then once it’s time to get to dining room as guests (friends) come over, it’ll be a drink fitting of the food we prepared served. Then it’s just a jolly mix of eating and drinking and talking and probably some awful karaoke attempts by Kafka and tachibana. Then a little gift exchange and games! Sadly taboo xl and catan are banned on holidays as some of us… (cough cough) get a little too headed. Regular taboo words is fine thankfully. Gen is Not pleased when Hoshina and I are on the same team and have this awfully good in sync…. As the night wears of everyone either goes their way and closer friends or those who we planned for to stay over beforehand stay:3

But the day before this and the following few days is just gen and I lazying around and enjoying the times, pretending life is always like this (save for an urgent last minute call in from our jobs…)

THIS IS SO LONG IM SORRY I GOT CARRIED AWAY!!! Again congrats!!! Can’t wait to see more stuff from uuuuuuuu 💕🫶

DANYLLL (ˊᗜˋ*)!♡ You have no idea how excited I am to see you coming in here to collect your loser.

Listen Narumi and you is just canon, I'm sorry I dont make the rules I just enforce them. Also, never ever apologize for yapping to me, I could listen to you with stars in my eyes. I love hearing about everyones selfships. I adore seeing the thought and care that goes into them and it just makes me happy. Gives me the opputrunity to shut up every now and then LMAO

I'm just gonna say it, Gen is literally obsessed with you, sorry. Like this man didnt know that he needed anyone in his life until he met you and now he cant imagine his life without you. He can just be authentially himself with you and he couldnt ask for anything else. Man's a certified simp. ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა Enough of my yapping tho I hope you enjoy!

Suprise! A little drabble for you (ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ.ﾟ

Narumi nuzzled his nose deeper into the crook of your neck, arms wrapped around your midsection, looking identical to a koala with the way his frame had curled around yours. Maybe it was the alcohol in his system making him sentimental, having been cut off quite some time ago. He watched the side of your face as you spoke, used to his shenanigans that you had become an expert in holding a conversation despite your boyfriend clinging to you. Normally he would whine for your attention, leading to you teasing him about his behavior. But for now he was content, you in his arms, your fingers carding through his hair as you and Rin talked about something. He had tuned it out too focused on taking in your features.

Today had really been the perfect day. He spent the whole day by your side, which given your profession, was a rarity in and of itself. Waking up with you in his arms had already put him in a good mood, then to spend the day together and being joined by your friends?  Yeah that’s all he wanted.

He had never been a huge holiday person, growing up with no family he never really saw the fuss about the holidays. Saw it more of a hassle than anything, ringing them in alone and doing nothing special. Now, though? He just hoped he got to spend every one just like this. His home had always been quiet, desolate, cold. It was one of the reasons he detested the winter. But you changed that, you kept him warm. The laughter that filled the room, games being played, songs being sung. It warmed his chest in a way he wasn’t used to. He enjoyed having everyone here (even the bowl cut bastard though he would rather die than admit it.)

He watched you interact, a small smile resting on his lips as he nuzzled deeper into your neck, pressing sweet kisses against your skin. He just wanted it to be like this always and with you by his side he knew he would do anything to keep you right here. Looking up from you his eyes lock with Hoshina’s a smug smile on his features, an obvious dig about how clingy he was being with you. He raised his middle finger to the other man. Okay so maybe he lied, he can leave and then it would be perfect.

[toplines]

url change: readytobes -> theo

name change: este -> theo

all seriousness rn the name este hasnt really felt like.. me anymore :/ ive been meaning to change for a while and i really love the name theo hehe

also! huge thank u to lau @cardigan for loaning me this url 🤍🤍 gonna have my theo | theo moment 💪

pls note that most of my abouts and stuff still have este on them and its bc im too lazy to change rn so just pretend it says theo

also i am Not changing my tracking tag. being zesty is my legacy. my brand. my ideology. and the hassle of transferring to a new tag again is something i do not have the time for lol

tagging mutuals below!

@wonyoz @fawad-khan @thunderousbinnie @jenaissainte @kitconnor @cobbbvanth @dqmeron @violets @jakeyp @antoniosvivaldi + please still sb even tho we arent mutuals/i didnt tag u 🫶🫶

[cyberbullyinc]

i cant believe hooking up with the guy ive been crushing on for five months would unravel so many feelings that have absolutely nothing to do with him lmaooooooooo like we were talking about my tattoos and what they were cuz some of them are not visible and he asked me where i have them, one of my non visible ones is on my heart…….. and he asked what it was so i changed the topic but then he asked again and in a milisecond a million excuses came to my mind but i decided to say the truth…… partially, so i said “it says Angel” and i waited…….. but nothing happened…… he didn’t wonder why he didnt ask what it meant did he even get that it was someone’s name? it means so much to me and he has no idea……. ever since i got it i KNEW other people would see it, i thought they just had to accept it or go i thought it’s their choice if they wanted to live with it but I’M the one who has to live with it….. it’s no one else's burden but mine. i mean tbh i’ve straight up lied to other people i make some excuse before i tell them what it is just like oh it’s a representation of something else, or it reminds me of something or it’s about me so they don’t feel threatened, this is the first time i (partially) told the truth like….. i told him WHAT it was i just didn’t tell him what’s the meaning……. but he didn’t even care! it was so weird to have someone else touch his name, like it was different with other people cuz they have been fooled……. but him it was like……. an intruder……… i don’t know…….. and on the other hand i don’t have the only person who has all the lore to tell her all of this lol like it would be such a hassle to explain to any other friend and it just will never be the same cuz not only does she (my ex best friend) KNOW everything but she WAS there for all of it………. and now she’s not! and it’s killing me! i just wanna open up to someone! i just wanna be vulnerable again! and there’s no one i can do it with! ive lost the only two people ive ever truly loved how could i go on? how could i even love again?

[sir-arlieosaurus-lung-struggler]

Unconventional: A Short Story of Hiding in Plain Sight

Is a short essay written in 2023 on my personal struggles being Native American and AroAce, and how both subjects intersected in a small window of time.

Disclaimer⚠️:

anti-Native American racism

Use of "noble savage"

I think its fairly good, weather the writing is good or not i think it has a good message anyway.

Notes:

In the writing I use the name Wallace to refer to myself, but for context I present fem & still mostly go by my birthname, the people talking to me were using my birthname.

Info aluding to location is removed.

This also relates to my expiriences as a trans person but I'm closited to most people, so is not included

The names of others is changed cause it was fresh at the time and i didnt want to hassle reporting them.

Slightly edited from origonal

History has always been one of my favorite subjects. There isn't much reason aside from that the past fascinates me. Native units are different though. I was ecstatic! Beforehand, that is.

Walking into class on the second day, I already dreaded sitting down, only to be called an "American Indian" through the scribbles of graphite on worksheets. The teacher listed name after name of tribes nearby, he got to a tribe with a well known casino, its famous add campaign was shouted out from the kid beside me, with near no objection. All we are to them; our casino's tagline.

All throughout page after page, side conversation to worksheet, "Indian" rang through my head like the caws of blue jays. Imagine the discovery of discomfort displacing you far from anyone's mind when your history teacher reads blindly from a paper without a second thought.

Through the day, peeve soaked my clothes and I stomped on every drip and caw with the vexation of a murder of flustered crows as I ducked through crowded halls.

I wasn't even there. Not that I made that known.

I wasn't content to sit angerly in my hamster wheel of a head, If I was going to be angry, I didn't want to go through it alone, I was happy to at least vent to someone.

I sat down later for advisory, still soaked in irritation head to toe, I yanked my computer out of its sleeve and clanked at its keys till my frenzied fingers were sore, all class I deliberated my days into a lengthy group-chat email. Saying I was- am annoyed is an understatement, my eyes were incandescent as I slammed down each key. Whether I had history work or not I didn't care enough to do it, I wasn't in the mood to be called an "American Indian" for the next half hour by a paper for answering X Y & Z. I value my sanity over that any day.

I trampled the keyboard with every example I could think of, the textbooks, the kid next to me, the fact that in any history class I've been in all the natives are put under the blankets of numbers. I ended my rant venting, "Sorry if this is out of the blue or off topic or if I 'ruined tha vibe' or whatever maybe I'm just 'over-exaggerating' but I don't care right now… I can only hope we get more than a geography lesson in this unit." I took off my obnoxiously bright hat to see my Aro and Ace pride pins lining its rabbit face.

I've always "identified" as native, there was just never much else. Dads side is just smaller, and out of touch with one another. None of them ever talk.

My weekdays are spent looking at my grandmothers' walls, beadwork, and Formline, and family photos framing it from corner to corner. I've always been a Tlingit Kid. Through my mom and generations of women back till who knows when, I am my clans child. But my dad's side of the family being white, and me taking more after him, the impression I get, when I tell some people I'm native, is that I'm one of those "my grandmother was a Cherokee princess" girls. And that just puts me off from telling people I don't know in the first place.

Once a girl responded to my invisible native-ness with "... so you're white?" I can taste her entitlement every time I repeat her, as if she were owed any sort of "truth." What's the point? What do you want? To see proof of my brown family? My tribal ID? Me to wear my regalia 24/7? My blood quantum painted on a sign above my head?

In attempts to connect with my roots I picked up a book from the library, #ImNotYourPrincess seemed interesting by its title. There was one page that stuck to my skin. "It's strange to me how people always want me to be an "authentic Indian" when I say I'm kanyen'keha:ka. They want me to look a certain way, act a certain way. They're disappointed when what they get is.... just me. White faced, light haired... They want my culture behind glass in a museum. But they don't want me. I'm not Indian enough..." that page was part of the poem, Invisible Indians, by a Mohawk woman named Shelby Lisk.

Advisory September 29, still angered from history just an hour beforehand, I was already unamused with my day. Sitting down for class, I noted down any other things I'd heard from my peers for safekeeping on a word document. Today there was nothing, but I was irritated so I noted any semblance that could have been something as an angered precaution.

From there I went with the motions and hid my face from the dim windows and lights to avoid a worsened headache. I sat to chip away at the little work I had, seeing as it was a Friday, only to be met with an unwelcome whine of my name. "Wallace? Wallace? Wallace? Hey Wallace?" It rang in my worn-out ears like early morning bird disputes from the trees, "Wallace? Wallace? Waaaaaaaalllaaaaaace? Don't be rude Wallace. Wallace Wallace? Wallace?" Frustrated in giving him the time of day, I swiveled my chair in Gabriel's direction for just enough time to send the message of hey, bud I hear you, and twirled back, my face growing more and more sour as the moments inch by. All just for him to spit "Anthony likes you!" For the whole class to feast their ears upon.

His caws stained my expression as we shuffled our chairs around and he continued "Wallace? Waalaace?" We moved again, and without fail he still was in his territorial dispute with the neighboring crows. Get my name out of your mouth I thought. I just continued to angrily lean tired on tables.

We shuffled chairs again, (admittedly this advisory was, not productive.) too tired to take it much further than I already had shoved it, I pulled it past the backpacks flopped on the floor and stopped it by the counters on the wall. Another voice, chimed in "You like Jacob, right? That's why you're sitting so close to him?"

I sat with my right leg crossed over my left, my shoulders slouched to the back of my chair. All I could muster was a glare and stern "No."

The class ended, nothing productive coming as a result of it, and I continued onto lunch.

As I walked the hall, my tiresome time trickled down my cheeks. I was done. I crimpled my face in my light blue hood and sleeves and broke my voice as I shrunk on my lunch. A moment went by when I heard a voice through my whimpers.

"Are you ok?" Rea was sat at the other side of the table with her friends, all seeming concerned.

Through my hiccups I answered. "No." I've always wondered, why even ask? By the time you want to ask you've already answered your own question. That's my case anyway. As I explained my past few days, I was practically reciting the email I wrote yesterday. How I'm not an Indian, the kid at the other table in 1st period, how in my nine years in schooling all the white men had the privilege of being referred to by name while all us sliver of native kids had to go off outside our families is Billy Frank JR. How I wanted enough respect to not have words put in my mouth. How I already have enough on my plate. How I was overwhelmed.

Rea and her friends watched me concernedly as I sat shivering. They let me go on with my rant till I crumbled past speech, and they had some room to ask, "Do you want a hug?"

"Yeah."

I stood up in anticipation. She speed-walked over in open arms, her friends following close behind her. And we hugged in the aisles of lunch tables as she let me cling to her back and cry on her leather shoulder.

I doubt they anticipated many native kids' reading the textbook, not like there's many of us here, four of us in the whole thousand-plus kid school.

Being called something I'm not, in more ways than one, just felt- I couldn't explain it. The concept was quite earthly, grounded to me. But putting it to words others could understand, and so that I understood that feeling before sharing it, was foreign.

Later that night, I wrote to myself and the void in a journal on my phone (was what i said for the school asignment, it was really tumblr drafts). About my eventful last few days, my frustration, my exhaust, and I said as much. Reflecting on my week, I wanted to have a vocalization of just how, weird it felt. I doubt Anthony "liked" me, I barely knew his name, let alone had we talked. The concept of someone liking me romantically is foreign, unwelcomed. Can't be controlled by either side, still just as off-putting.

I image they were antagonizing Anthony alongside me whether he did "like" me, it or not. I don't make it too well known verbally, but I'm Aromantic. No romantic attraction. In my case specifically the type where any romance involving me feels, for lack of better, more concise words, gross. It's purely alien to me. I just don't understand it.

My first "crush" was conveniently chosen at the end stretch of kindergarten. It was almost cartoonish how much I faked it, even to myself.

By the time 6th grade rolled around, I had counted about 5 "crushes" up to that point. I made it to my 4th period world history class and while playing "would you rather" I talked with a girl who agreed that pineapples on pizza was delicious, we concluded it was because their sweet-savory-ness. We were sat close together, and we talked a lot. I figured out she was gay from her telling me she was excited to meet her crush at the park later for a mini date. I didn't even care there was "someone else" I was just perfectly happy that she was so happy. I felt weird, not feeling weird, but it took another year to read between the lines, to figure out it was admiration and close companionship. (And more like queerplatonic attraction, but I didnt want to delve into ALL that for a school asignment)

The night of the 30th, it took till I was pacing lost in thought and song lyrics till I thought of how to word it, "Just the idea of someone feeling a romantic way about me feels gross. Let alone a kid 1 barely know... like it feels so gross I wish I was more articulated to explain it, the best synonym I have at the moment is that I need a shower. It feels like, sticky- like the equivalent of I just got dunked in syrup and it dried a bit then my hair being covered in gum to the point I may as well just shave it."

I realize now, I'm not any of these people's "truth," I'm not what they expect. I'm native, but I'm not dark. I don't want to be a prince charming, or to be "saved" by one. I'm not what any of them name me. I'm not a "hostile Indian" or, better yet "Noble Savage" (both attributed to a documentary we watched in class). I'm not going to find "the one" nor do I want to. I'm not the words they put in my mouth, what they decide I am.

The days moved on. The class moved on.

The boys mostly stop bothering me.

The second of October, a new kid at the same table as add reading kid, chirped the headline of my morning, "If these people were still around today, Bugs Bunny would be their god." The only context I had was I think they were talking about aspecific region that used rabbits a lot in clothing and food, but the statement they were gone was laughably triggering.

From there kids didn't say much else. All I heard was my personal broken record.

From then on, I made sure I had my Aro and Ace pins, and my native pride shirts as often as possible, to show what I really am. At least if people don't know what the pins are they can assume I'm somehow queer and back off. At least I started wearing the pins at home. Not that many people would notice; or know what any of it means to me. But at least someone would. At least I know there are 3 more of us here, somewhere. Hiding in plain sight. At least I ultimately don't care for why people I don't know would care enough to comment. Or why I comment on them in all honesty. At least I can decide it doesn't affect me so I can scrub the stains gone. At least I have pretty good luck charms. At least I have Redbone's Come and Get Your Love.

I don't think its that I don't like history anymore, more often than not, I've learned, my favorite part of history is what is never taught.