#it usually just goes like
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being nonbinary is just. wack. I’m a guy but not really a man. I’m vaguely a woman but absolutely not a girl
#it usually just goes like#‘btw im a guy actually’#‘so you want to be man?’#‘I’m not a man’#‘but you said-‘#random shit i say#nonbinary#trans#im male leaning I guess?#i need like a 4d graph to explain this
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My fellow bitches under 5'5. Whatever the money, do not take a job working at a middle school. A fellow adult tried to put me in detention last month and would NOT give up until I showed her my badge proving Yes, The School Hired Me To Work Here. It's not meant for people our height.
#personal#back to work tomorrow prepare thyself#i have had other adults try to take my phone away ask if I have a tardy pass the aforementioned detention incident-#THE LIST GOES ON#i usually get an apology after they realize im twenty fucking six but sometimes im like#....if you need to apologize this profusely for talking to me like that when you realized i wasn't a student#maybe you shouldn't be talking to the students like that either?#i get it they're irritating as hell but like. as soon as you realized i could report you for yelling at me the way u just did#u HELLA backtracked.#maybe some self reflection is in order?
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louis + cruelty
#iwtvedit#iwtv#interview with the vampire#louis de pointe du lac#grace du pointe du lac#lestat de lioncourt#claudia#armand#daniel molloy#I WANT TO BE CLEAR THAT THIS GIFSET IS COMING FROM A PLACE OF DEEP LOVE. i love that louis has a little vicious streak.#that sometimes he goes for the lowest possible blow. it's an excellent character detail.#especially since he usually works so hard not to do harm and to be the best person he can. it makes him so much more realistic.#when he's backed into a corner he goes for the throat and i think that's an incredible facet to him.#i support his wrongs etc etc.#if i see people using this as a jumping off point to hate on louis i will probably just start blocking people tbh.#this is not an invitation to reduce him as a character to JUST this#i simply like it when he lets loose.
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I'm sorry but if Sami people can be understood as other-than-white and lighter featured First Nations people can be understood as other-than-white and individuals of our sisters the Romani when similarly afflicted by melanin deficiency can be understood as other-than-white....
Your classification of Jews, who span the whole gamut of color but share the racialization and experience of being othered among any majority, including whiteness in the north/west, is only further evidence of your racism. Because in doing so you continue to perpetuate double standards for Jewish people, which is dangerous when merged with perspectives that view whiteness as a merit signifier. Not that our identity isn't a fair bit older than this pretty reductive view, but
Regardless, I'll remind that the minority indigenous groups I mentioned are in the context of a white majority, but white people do not have a monopoly on colonialism. Plenty of people don't want to be called Arab in MENA and plenty of people aren't sure that they'd classify themselves as Chinese or Russian in the sense that the West views national identity. But that kind of nuance probably isn't something I should bother with if we haven't made it past point 1.
#jumblr#jewish#colonialism#imperialism#solidarity#fun fact i am So Pale in winter and assumed to be southeast asian or latina in the summer which is an interesting thing to compare#my dad is assumed lebanese usually#my brother is a redhead sort of but tans so folks are just confused but the red hair means hes usually on the euro side of assumptions#but that goes out the window when they realize oh shit this man is jewish#depends where you are#just like..... race#its almost like it only exists as a social construct and as lived experiences#you know like the way it affects Jews
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playing dirty
#klance#voltron#vld#keith kogane#lance mcclain#art#my art#i made this with pre-relationship in mind#but i think it could also be established relationship too#either way its funny to think keith starts weaponizing this strategy to win any arguement#also funny how my last mini comic was basically the same of like 'keith does some shit and lance goes bananas'#but in the other one it was unintentional and here its somewhat intentional#which reinforces my idea that keith KNOWS flirting like hes not oblivious. but he just avoids it#and so the times hes successful are usually unintentional#also i probably violated the rules of twister here but i frankly dont gaf and havent played it in like 16 years
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Grief as a time machine
#i forgot that the 1st episode of ds9 is kinda abt sisko letting go of his dead wife and moving on#the main reason i wanted to draw this was bc the actress who plays Jennifer is like... not good#like she sounds amd acts so fucking weird when sisko goes back into his memories with her. but then when the prophets are talking thru her#it kinda really works bc she just seems so alien. no one else the prophets are using are being like that so idk if it was intentional#but the way she looks at him is so bizarre i wanted to draw it#thus is also drawn like wayyyyy bigger than i usually draw. i draw so so tiny. but i think it looks ok mostly#ds9#deep space nine#star trek#benjamin sisko#art
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[ ID in ALT ]
he giggles
#wriothesley#neuvillette#wriolette#neuvithesley#genshin impact#he goes aheeheehooheehoohee#i think once neuvillette figures out how to make him laugh. he'd do it all day. and the formula is simple too he just gotta say something#really stupid. and absurd. in his usual super serious iudex voice#and wriothesley is in stitches. it's so easy. he just gotta say 'yippee' and profit. 'slay queen' and wriothesley is incapacitated#also. imagine he's ticklish. but i dont think Neuv would tickle him intentionally I think he's like. 'i heard tickling gets violent fast'#'i will not resort to that to summon moethesley'#he doesn't want to Hurt Him he just wants to see him smile and laugh and be all pink in the face. but I do think he accidentally#sets him off all the time. with kisses (neck/ears) or just like grabbing his waist and suddenly wriothesley violently Wriggles yknow.#the tickled reaction. wriothesley laments the destruction of his scary big dog image every day#but. neuvillette would only make jokes at home anyway. and to be clear it's the simple fact that neuvillette is trying to Be Funny .#that's really funny to wriothesley. or just like his awkwardness. back before he figures out he can Intentionally make wriothesley laugh#he'd bewitch him with his his gap moeism#the layers to it. Wriothesley gets embarrassed later on when he catches on because he Knows Neuvillette likes seeing him all tickled.#and flustered. and that's like so mortifying bro what do you mean you're happy just seeing me being moe#and he's embarrassed because he should not be falling for it every single time. it should not be this funny#the nerves just makes him laugh even harder. and the whole time neuvillette is just sitting there. silently delighted. waiting for the#perfect comedic timing. so he can drop a 'cowabunga!' with the exclaimation mark and all. wriothesley can't even catch his damn breathe#art#my art
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i think shang qinghua and tianlang-jun should have a weird chemistry that make other people (lbh, mbj, sqq, etc) confused and uncomfortable
post-maigu ridge but pre-moshang getting together, for whatever reason sqh and tlj are in the same proximity in front of others, probably their first ever conversation -> sqh is really not as scared as the others think he should be! sqh usually does his snivelly coward bit when around demon lords, and no one would call him stupid so why does he seem...weirdly chill? is he starting a conversation about the latest bingqiu rpf?! 🤨
why is tlj interested in what sqh is saying? why is he laughing at the joke sqh made? why is he so enthusiastically responding, leaning forward in interest, eyes glimmering??
Shang Qinghua, why are you staring at the former demon emperor's boobs????? why are you smirking like that??????!
#mbj is sulking in the background#from sqh's pov he knows tlj is usually the chillest demon around#also hes hot and he likes the sort of novels sqh writes#he just has to bring up that he actually wrote so-and-so book and he's in#(tljs pants)#tlj thinks this dude is cute and fun#and also everyone knows this human is into demons#hes willing to see where this goes#bingqiu is so fucking pissed#tianshang#tianplane#tianlang jun#shang qinghua#svsss#scum villain's self saving system#z
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sometimes I think abt how the months coming up to and the prom night in freshman year must feel to class swap sklonda. your perfect kid who has literally never gotten a single reprimand for anything does what can only be described as a quad crit crime combo and becomes a nerd punisher by the end of the night
#dimension 20#fantasy high#fhfy#fhjy#riz gukgak#ft. sklonda fig and jawbones#fh class quangle#class swap! bard!riz u know the drill!#the peace treaty thing is about kalina being employed by the fallinel government. I imagine riz can tease out Too Much from that#this is my favourite thing. when a character becomes annoying to show that they feel comfortable around certain people#one thing I will never change about riz is that he goes whole hog all the time forever. kid does Not know moderation he is 100% at all time#the switch up in freshman year turns out slow bc he and his friends get thrown in jail for two months but the moment he#gets the memo that he just doesn't get to bow out of the fight like other people bc of who he is he immediately goes okay <3 violence it is#I feel like I've been kinda glossing over how Intense the little guy is in the class swap bc it's a more lowkey kind of intense usually#but like he is lol. he's intense and he's Mean too. that's his magic <3
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A belief in Nominative Determinsim
#mira & isa sitting at the other side of the room: oh that cannot be a healthy rationalisation. someone should deconstruct that QUICKLY...#change's strongest soldiers VERSUS one guy echo chambering themselves about a susperstition-based retributive model of the world. GO!!!#isat spoilers#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#sloops#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#lucabyteart#hey look now. this is softer than usual isnt it? ignore the. ignore the subtle damnation of blame unto the self. its fine. theyre fine#this is in fact a slight adaptation of that headcanon of mine i linked! yep! turns out the way to comic-ise it was to. make it like#90% speech bubble and get kinda weird with the formatting. it's clunky and experimental but hey. im experimenting.#the next ones gonna have even more fucking speech bubbles if it goes how im planning. christ#then its gonna get followed up with something wordless so. all things in perfect balance.#DISCLAIMER: i like to write loop and siffrin displaying the maybe not so great logic-holes their seeming fear of 'retribution for not#sticking to (the script) what the universe intends for them' entails. i do not agree with their weird philosophising.#i in fact think this is . bad for them. and am exploring how fucking unhealthy their mindset seems to be even when 'mundane'#OCD siffrin real as hell whats with the doing arbitrary actions in specific ways lest Something Nebulously Bad Happen little dude?#anyway if you caught the extremely blunt symbolism of kissing a hand with a knife in it you win a prize! it's called self-satisfaction 🎉🎉#hmm. do people realise i kept calling this type of back and forth between siffrin and loop a socratic dialogue bc socrates was also just#arguing with himself? like he was just making up the other guys. complete thought experiment. i also call them that because theyre WORDY!!!
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Blood Blossom Au: Baby's First Commissioner Meeting :)
TL:DR This Post: Danny (orphan) gets poisoned with blood blossom extract by Vlad. He runs away from him and ends up under the care of one Pre-Robin Battinson Batman! Starry is loudly pushing her batdad agenda.
(Also known as "Late At Night, When The Nightingale Sings" on my ao3!)
This was a fun rough idea I've been sitting on for weeks, thinking about how Commissioner Gordon and Nightingale's first meeting might go.
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Commissioner Gordon likes to think that he's adjusting to the new normal of Gotham very well, -- the new normal being grown men running around dressed like bats, in military-grade strength body armor, committing acts of vigilantism, -- and slowly, little by little, he was no longer being surprised when this new normal pops up out of the shadows like the world's most terrifying daisy. His shaving lifespan thanks him for it.
....
The kid is a surprise though.
Granted, he seemed to be a surprise to the Bat too.
There's been a string of murders lately, -- which, in Gotham, is kind of like saying there's been another storm during monsoon season. And there's just been another; in some dilapidated building down in south Gotham, with the broken, boarded-up windows and mildew-crawling walls to match. The victim is a man in his thirties, multiple gunshot wounds to the chest, left in the center of the room for the blood to pool out around him.
The place is already secured when he arrives, the building swarmed with officers and the forensic detectives. The Bat emerges shortly after he does -- or, he might've been here the whole time, hiding someplace dark and shadowy. For his own sanity, Gordon doesn't think about it too hard.
The kid is a surprise, and he appears like a bolt of lightning.
He shows up in the middle of a conversation Gordon is having with the Bat.
A whistle, sharp and loud, slicing through the air, meant for open air rather than a confined space. Gordon's ears pierce and protest the sound, and the solemn, murmured chatter floating through the room abruptly cuts off like the swing of a gavel. As he turns towards the sound -- as they all do -- he swears, up and down, that he sees Batman's shoulders jump, just slightly.
At the source, perched on the window, is a boy. A boy in a gray-blue scarf and an oversized black hoodie, one that hangs off his frame and has ace bandages wrapped around the wrists in some attempt to cinch the sleeves. The hood is up, big like the rest of it, and threatens to swallow the upper half of the boy's face whole in the fabric. What upper half Gordon can see, is smeared with some kind of opaque, black face paint. He's holding onto the side of the frame with one hand, on his hip is a grappling hook. A familiar grappling hook.
Gordon has multiple questions, and his officers tense up.
Martinez puffs up, brows furrowing as his face shapes into a frown. Shoulders rolling back. "You can't be here, kid--"
The reaction is immediate, like a spark to gunpowder, the boy yanks his fingers from his mouth and his mouth twists into a scowl. Head snapping over to Officer Martinez, his hood manages to stay on but Gordon swears that as he bares his teeth, the glint makes them look sharper than they should be. His voice is rasp and quiet and harsh; snappish in its hissing; "Put a fuckin sock in it, Martinez. I'm not stayin."
Martinez reels back, and the boy immediately veers his attention off him. Like a switch, his demeanor drops. Despite half his face being covered, his mouth twists into a cringing, apologetic smile. Slanted and off-beat, embarrassed. It'd be disarming if this wasn't Gotham, and if he didn't just hiss at Martinez like he was about to bite his head off.
"Sorry." He whispers, voice deceptively polite and softer now. Gordon has to strain his ears to hear him. "I was looking for him."
He points his finger towards-- Gordon? No, Gordon follows the direction, and finds himself looking at -- the Bat.
The Bat, who always looks stiff as a pole, now looks even stiffer. Somehow. Well, the explains the grappling hook attached to the boy's waist.
"What are you doing here?" The Bat says, gruff and unable to completely smother the stumble of surprise in his tone.
The boy still holds a sheepish smile, and slips off the window ledge. His feet hit the creaky boards with a near-silent thud, the Batman finds his feet and rapidly begins crossing the room.
Gordon notes the slight tremble in the boy's legs as he straightens. He adjusts his scarf, which droops close to his knees now that he's standing, and slings a backpack -- how long has had that? -- off his shoulders. When the Bat reaches his side, he does as he always does, and looms over the boy like a spectre. A threatening mass of shadows cloaked in all-consuming black. Standing next to him, the boy looks teeny in comparison.
The Bat is a man who terrifies even the most hardened criminals, Gordon has seen grown men shiver in fear at the mention of his name. And yet when the boy looks up at him, he doesn't even flinch.
Instead, his sheepish smile melts away like ice under the sun, holding only traces of his previous embarrassment. It remains as a shadow on his face, a small upturn at the corners of his mouth. The boy pushes his hood back just enough to reveal glinting, ice-flint eyes surrounded in tar-black face paint. He holds the backpack up with one arm. "You forgot this."
#I have never seen Batman (2022) so really I'm just using battinson and crew as templates for my fic. but hey what else is new lol#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc fic#dpxdc au#dp x dc au#dpxdc fanfic#i dont know shit about detective work or true crime so forgive me for any bad terminology or incorrect procedure for how these things work#just a fun rough idea for how i imagined gordon's first meeting with nightingale goes LMAO. im sticking to the idea that danny doesn't#officially join the field for a *while* due to more than just health reasons. so his first appearances are brief and usually to give B smth#danny: im only here as express delivery for vader's little brother over there. yall stay safe tho.#bruce: *kill bill sirens bass-boosted* ohmygodwhatishedoinghere#batman: how did you get here... | danny: you have so many spare grappling hooks it was pr easy to just grab one and go#also danny is whispering on purpose because he doesn't have his ghost form to fall back on as a secret identity. so he *is* actually taking#extra steps to keep his identity safe. and people usually sound different when they're whispering. he also has personal beef with#office martinez despite the fact that they've never met. Danny's HEARD of his ass. he hATES his ass.#Martinez: *to batman* freak | danny: im going to Bite Him. | batman (reluctantly): hmr. please don't. | danny: im going for his shins#Martinez and Nightingale have this whole thing going on between the two of them. danny WILL slap a sticky note on Martinez's back that says#'asshole' on it and its the one spot square on his spine that martinez can't reach.#someone: why are you beefing with like. an actual 12 year old | martinez: HE'S A LITTLE RAT. THAT'S WHY. he's here to torment me#battinson: *did you grapple the whole way here* | danny: yah. it was kinda fun. i would've gotten here faster but i kept having to stop#battinson: *hnnn* im driving you back | danny:.. are you sure? | battinson already pulling him out of the room: y e s#i've been thinking about this for literally WEEKS. what did bruce forget? good question! i'll figure that out if or when i get to this#danny has Issues behind the word freak so its like a mini beserker button for him regardless of who the word is aimed at lol. lmao#martinez calls batman a freak once while nightingale is within range and its just the doom ost as danny simply Disappears from sight#like oops. you are now. In Danger. rip couldn't be me.#blood blossom au
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Jealousy, Jealousy
#friend jealousy is a BITCH and i think kei would definitely suffer from it#he made one (1) friend in elementary school and decided it was enough for one lifetime#but now theyre in HS and tadashi is a lot more out of his shell than he previously was and oh look :) now hes making more friends#i just KNOW it eats kei up. watching his best friend laugh with other people.#i think this would be the first time too which is why its a particularly big blow like#for so long its been him and tadashi that this was never a concern#so now he doesnt know how to manage this ugly emotion#definitely see him get snappier with hinata and kageyana#goes unnoticed tho because he usually tends to be an ass to them anyway#Man.#SIGH.#this came to me in a vision and i made myself upset so LOL. Releases this to the wild yaay…#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#tsukishima kei#yamaguchi tadashi#queerplatonic if you understand the workd#tsukkiyama#hq#lots to the read in the tags lol sorry…
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Pls pls pls pls anything,and I say ANYTHING (bc your art rules) with aizetsu
This is why stalker freaks shouldn't have the strength of a bulldozer
#null rot#yandere hantengu#hantengu clones#yandere kimetsu no yaiba#yandere kny#yandere demon slayer#aiztesus turn!!#Aizetsu#7w7m7w7#cloaked cult member#and by stalker freak i mean my beautiful princess with a disorder#why is he so cute qhat the fuck#fingers crossed if bodies start dropping you start running away. same goes if building collapse.#Aizetsu just wants you safe.. but at home. without a crowd....#Hes like a bomb. not used often but causes serious damage#good think hes usually too lazy to fight ey?#congrats on saving someones life!!#wow i can see now why he gets approached so often.... he looks so UPSET. my guy.........#ALSO IF YOU EVER WONDER WHY MY ART IS ALWAYS COLORED SO?? DIFFERENT?? I ALWAYS EXPIREMENT#I FUCK AROUND
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johnny x fat!reader based off of this post i did a while back
cw: unprotected sex, minimal prep, kind of public sex, johnny’s a biter, fat fem reader. it’s just 2.5k of fucking like idk what to say
you winced as you read over the messages once more, feeling your stomach drop at the most recent one sent.
> who am i speaking to? i’d like to be able to make a complaint
you hesitated for a second, wondering if you’d get away with giving a coworker’s name, specifically claire, the coworker that always gave you shit on shift. but as much as the thought tickled you, you knew management would only figure out it was you when they realised claire wasn’t covering for you today.
you typed and sent back your name and apologised again, hoping he didn’t really want to send in a complaint for your slip up. you needed this job and it’d been hard enough to get it despite being over-qualified.
you knew you were a sort of diversity hire for the gym, every other worker there looked like they modelled for gymshark and liked to run a couple miles every morning before breakfast; whereas you cringed at the idea of the friction burn it’d inevitably cause between your thick thighs after the first five minutes.
the rest of the staff were nice enough, friendly; though a few of them couldn’t help but throw comments your way about your weight. it was something you’d had to develop a thick skin to after the first month working there, spending your lunch breaks or the drive home in tears, your self confidence the lowest it’d been since high school.
once you figured out how to let their shit roll off your back like water on a duck, it all became a hell of a lot easier again. though your confidence had taken a hit you were still recovering from. and your current dry spell in the bedroom hadn’t helped.
you worked behind the welcome desk, admin primarily but you covered the IT side of things too, what little there was of it.
the little local gym had started to gain a bit of traction online on social media and the owners had decided to exploit the opportunity and create workout clothes with the gym’s name and logo on it. regulars seemed to like it and people online had started buying when you’d posted that they’d get 20% off their next order if they posted online wearing and using the gym-wear.
it was all going great; you organised the orders and got them sent out on time, arranged any returns or customer service questions without a hitch.
or you did until today.
you’d just been taken aback when you saw the photo the customer - soap141 - had sent in. you’d typed without thinking and now? now you might lose your job because that customer looked to be about five seconds away from busting the seams on his workout vest.
and what a sight that would be.
shit, fuck. you needed to concentrate. it’s been far too long since you last hooked up with anyone and you were always too tired to deal with your pent up energy after work so it had… been a while. you were rightfully and understandably flustered at this photo.
you clicked back on the photo and bit your cheek as you zoomed in on his hands.
you closed the tab with a shake of your head, desperate to clear it, and started working on replying to the emails of the day.
you’d gotten through the majority of them when you were interrupted by a knock on the front desk gaining your attention.
it was just before lunch, and most newcomers either tended to start early morning or in the evening after work, and everyone else was able to go through with their membership qr code with no need to speak to you. this visit was unexpected and not in your usual routine.
you looked up at the unfairly handsome man before you and smiled.
“hi, can i help you?”
“i hope so, hen,” he said and his eyes dragged over your soft body appreciatively before landing on your name tag and growing sharp. “need to make a return, vest i got was too small. lass i spoke to online was, uhh, nae so helpful.”
you flushed.
the name badge pinned on your chest suddenly felt like it weighed a ton as you did you best not to let your eyes flicker down or you hand rise to cover it. he’d spotted it already, you could tell by his meanly satisfied look that was pinning you to your chair.
“i’m so so sorry, sir—.”
“johnny.”
“johnny. i can get that return sorted for you immediately,” you said, visibly flustered. he watched you for a moment, seeming to revel in your nervous energy until you sent a wide eyed, skittish look over your shoulder, hoping none of your co-workers were near by enough to overhear how much free merch you were about to offer for him to not make a complaint.
johnny however thought you were looking for a way out, a coworker to back you up.
“hey now, there’s no need t’make a scene, ey?” he interrupted, his head tilted to catch your eyes quicker when you turned back to face him. “i’m sure you can find a way to make it up to me.”
oh thank god, you were on the same page, he just wanted a fucking bribe. that you could do easily.
“of course, definitely. follow me,” you said and stood up. you waved him behind the desk and pointed to the storage room behind you. “i can process your refund before you leave, and you can have a look at the sizes of the other items we have in stock. maybe a free vest and t-shirt for all the trouble?”
he winced.
“that’s not exactly what i had in mind, bonnie.” he crept closer, his fingers dancing along the surface of the desk, playful in a way you couldn’t relate to at that moment. “was real unprofessional what you said, but i have something in mind that you can do for me that might get me to forget it ever happened. would take my mind off it, if you catch my drift.”
close enough to touch, he let his hand drift up to cheekily tug at the hem of your shirt, his fingers making light work of burrowing beneath to find your soft, warm skin.
“are you fucking with me?” you demanded after letting his words sit in the air for a moment, holding his wrist still. you’d been a bit forward on the chat, sure, but if he was going to be a prick about it you’d rather face the consequences with your managers instead.
his face grew serious for a moment, all teasing sharpness gone. “would never,” he said earnestly. you looked at him and saw the genuine arousal he held in the lick of his lips, the puffed up breadth of his chest; genuine unbridled want.
fuck it.
your own shoulders relaxed and you nodded.
“well, first thing we’re taught in retail is that the customer’s always right,” you said as you walked back towards the storage room, your eyes flickered to the gym behind you but no one was looking your way. you kept his hand at your waist so he followed closely. “maybe i could show you something more exclusive back here, you can try it on for size.”
“i think i already know it’s goin’ tae fit jus’ right,” johnny grinned and kicked the storage door closed behind him.
he hooked his fingers under your shirt, dragging it up until he could take in his fill of your thick waist, warm and malleable beneath his rough palms. he was none to gentle but determined in keeping you close. he dragged his nose down your cheek and breathed heavily for a moment as you clung to his biceps.
“what do you want?” you asked shakily. you’d experienced your fair share of one night stands but it’d been a while since someone had been so openly wanting with you, it left your hands a little jittery at how quick everything was moving.
“what are ya willing to give?” he shot back, letting a wet kiss land next to your ear.
“customer satisfaction is high on my list of priorities, i’ll have you know,” you hummed, trying to calm down and let yourself enjoy it.
johnny laughed, a little too loud for the small room, and pulled back enough to wiggle his eyebrows.
“ah bet it is,” he snickered. “but ye cannae deny that happy workers keep a place running, and i’m all about giving pretty workers their due benefits.”
he tugged at the waistband of your sports leggings, dropping to his knees so quickly you felt lightheaded at the sight.
“take tha’ off.” he nodded up to your rumpled shirt and you moved without hesitance despite the bright, unflattering light in the centre of the glorified cupboard. you shed your bra without waiting for instruction next, letting it drop to the floor where johnny had haphazardly piled your shoes and clothes. he was currently mesmerised by the hang of your belly, and the wobbling clench of your thighs as you shifted in front of him. he ran his hands and lips ever so lightly from your knee to your hip before baring his teeth.
“hey, no biting!” you were quick to say, your hands going to frame his face, fingers tilting up his jaw so you could both hold him back and make eye contact to show him you were serious. you had a feeling he was the type to push boundaries and ignore you if you weren’t careful.
“a’right hen, not this time,” he agreed and delicately kissed the stretch marks there instead and then turned to kiss one of your palms. once you’d let go, he stood and bent his head low to kiss and suck at your tits, his hands unable to stay still as he plucked at a nipple before it roamed further down to squeeze at your arse or rub at where the thin cotton of your knickers dug into your skin.
you tilted your head back and let him explore freely for a moment before a heavy hand was dragging you forward by the back of your neck and his lips found yours.
you keened into his mouth as he kissed you deeply; licked at his tongue and lips lazily in turn. you pulled back feeling throughly ravaged and yet barely touched.
“you’re staying clothed? that doesn’t seem fair.” you pouted as you looked down at the shirt you held in clenched fists.
“fuck fair,” he panted into your mouth, grinning. “but maybe if you ask nicely i’ll tek it off.”
“please?” you begged immediately, delighting in the surprise on his face. “please take it off, want to see you. please.”
he snorted, eyes blown wide and nodded.
“ok, pretty thing,” he said indulgently and made quick work of his shirt and trousers. you gawped at his bare, hairy chest and the swollen cock trapped in his boxers. “c’mere.”
he tugged you forward again and kissed down your chest, light presses of his lips to soften the scratching trail of his beard, before dropping to his knees. you leant back unsteadily against the small table you used to put orders together, crammed against the wall.
his eyes flickered up to yours and you recognised a flash of mischievousness a second before he lent in and bit at your plush hip. his hands squeezed at the fat of your thighs as you gasped out a sharp moan, he hissed as he let go when you pulled at his mohawk in shock and slight embarrassment.
“couldnae help it, hen,” he said with a dopey grin. he wrapped his hand around yours in his hair. “do that again though, yeah?”
you barely gave yourself a moment to recover or think too hard about his blatant disregard of your earlier wishes and instead tugged lightly, a little hesitant now that it wasn’t instinctual, at his hair. you were spurred on by the pleasured crease in his brow as he pulled down your knickers and his groan from both the hint of pain and the sight of you bare before him.
“think ye might just be made for me, such a perfect body and yer not so sweet as ye let on after all,” he mumbled. unceremoniously he sucked on two fingers before trailing them between your thighs, bullying your left leg up onto one burly arm so he could gain better access to your slick pussy. you tried to balance on one leg and less so on the table but the feeling of johnny’s tongue on your clit, lavving like a needy dog, had you slumping back.
he let out a heady groan at the taste of you and knew just what to do to keep you dripping like he had you on tap.
“remind me ta get yer number after this,” he panted, fingers stretching you quickly and clumsily.
his words were the final nail in the coffin that confirmed he wasn’t just fucking you for the shock value or to tell his friends there’s an easy fat girl that works at the gym. his attraction was genuine and he didn’t seem ashamed of that, was eager with it even.
showed it in the messy way he ate you out, licking between his fingers and lavishing in the wet, sticky noises he pulled from you; hidden only when either of you moaned too loud. you tried to hide it behind your hands but johnny seemed to pull back purposely to keep them loud when your nails scratched along his scalp.
it wasn’t enough to get off though, and he knew it, didn’t care actually as he had wasted no time once his third finger was fitting snug inside your cunt to pull them all back out, deeming you stretched and prepped enough.
he kissed you, too open mouthed and all tongue - far from the best kiss, but one you’d not soon forget - once he was stood up and turned you around so you could bend over the table.
“yeah?” he checked in quickly, freeing his cock and giving it a quick tug with his sticky fingers.
you nodded eagerly and reached back to hold one arse cheek to the side, letting him look at your holes from the back.
“fuck me,” he swore, whistling until you let go to swat at him with a laugh.
“my fucking co-workers,” you hissed, biting back a feral grin. the idea of them catching you now seemed less daunting than it had at the start, not when the promise of johnny’s cock was so close.
“if they haven’t heard us by now, bonnie…” he slapped your other cheek and bit his lip as it sent a ripple across your body. “beautiful.”
he tapped his cock at you pussy, hissing at the tease of the wet heat he was seconds away from.
“johnny,” you groaned out as he lingered.
you winced as he pushed in a moment later, just this side of too tight given the rushed prep but you whined through it until he bottomed out.
“perfect fit,” he hummed.
you felt every inch of him, only exacerbated when he leant forward to lean on your back, kissing at your neck.
“steamin’ jesus, i can feel you clenchin’ ‘round me,” he huffed. he ran a hand down your side before shifting, starting a steady pace he seemed to lose himself in as the pleasure your body brought him had him seeing stars.
you gasped at an especially hard thrust, your breath knocked out of you even as you felt yourself grow ever closer to your orgasm. you knew it’d be a doozy after going so long without, but as johnny’s spongy head knocked passed your g-spot like he was being paid to make you cum in under two minutes flat, you knew you weren’t going to be able to be quiet about it.
christ, it felt like he was nudging at your cervix, something you knew wasn’t true but the thought had you clenching and creaming around him either way.
“h-harder,” you whispered. “god, harder.”
johnny complied immediately, readjusting his grip on your hips to get better leverage to fuck into you harder and deeper.
“gonna cum already, hen, can feel you pulsing around me so good,” he warned.
“let me— i wanna, i want,” you struggled to get the words out but the thought of johnny leaving you high and dry after getting his own, when you were so close, had you panicking.
“i know, beautiful, don’t you worry. you’ll get yours,” he promised, hefting you both back a step from the table, just enough so he could slip his hand around and let his middle finger rest over your throbbing clit.
you tried to stifle your moan at the welcome and necessary attention and knew johnny was grinning like a mad man behind you.
“There you go, wanna hear you so bad, s’fucking hot,” he encouraged. “fuck yer coworkers.”
you rolled your hips along with his thrusts and steady pressure on your clit until you felt your vision white out and your cunt clench viciously. you felt johnny huff and slap his hips into your forgiving arse until he moaned, not at all muffled like yours had been.
he slumped over you, doing his best to balance on shaking arms so he didn’t crush you against the table.
“you tell your managers that this customer is definitely satisfied,” he said, eliciting an unattractive snort from you. you giggled as you lightly shrugged and batted him off until you were able to peel your sweaty skin from the table and stand back up straight, rubbing delicately at the imprint of the table that ran across your stomach.
he winced and ran a gentle palm across it alongside yours.
“wan’ me t’kiss it better?” he offered, the look in his eye only half as teasing as you were expecting.
without a care, he grabbed one of the shirts off the shelf and wiped you down, keeping his touches efficient and tender when they drifted between your legs.
he passed you your clothes, smiling at your shy thanks and busied himself with getting dressed as you struggled back into your own clothes.
it should’ve felt awkward walking out into the gym; you were almost certain your coworkers would be waiting outside ready to catch you, or worse some of the gym users. but johnny made it seem normal.
as you went to take your seat behind the desk he slapped your arse one last time, giving you a cheeky wink when you hissed at him.
“prick,” you huffed with a smile, rubbing at the smarting spot, but he only cooed and leant in to steal a chaste kiss before rounding back to stand in front of the desk.
he leant his hip against it as he looked down at you, suddenly shy when he held his phone out.
“only if ya want, hen. no pressure if this was just a one time thing.”
you glanced at his hopeful puppy-dog eyes and reached for the phone.
fuck it, maybe he could be your morning workout.
#this feels like it was written very britishly like a some of the wording#usually i err towards writing faux american but with cod i can’t help myself#johnny soap mactavish x reader#i’ve also never felt more ace than when describing this sex#like ‘this is how it goes right?’ ‘right.’ just an idiot nodding to themselves with no clueahdjsjdjsjs#johnny mactavish x reader#soap x reader#fat reader#johnny soap mactavish#johnny mactavish x fat reader#soap x fat reader#soap smut#johnny mactavish smut
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Watching Loki. I’m on episode 4 and I’m trying to see what the hype was about
#I’m on s1e4 and this shit isn’t gripping my attention at ALL#usually it takes me a season or two to care about a show tho so I’ll be kind to it#is this probably a wild take? eh maybe#some shows I like instantly but this surely ain’t it.#it is a fun concept but man I’m just#they’re not going enough into the absolute batshit shenanigans :(#but that might just me loving comic book camp and it’s far more serious#I’m just so glad they didn’t make both Lokis be a couple thank hood#*god#bro I just need it to get UBER time fuckey and have fourth dimension bullshit involved#update on S1E5 and I’m just waiting for interesting shit to happen#bones speaks#ok it might be getting interesting. they have kinship#Oop and they’re captured. andddd he’s stuck in his own purgatory? oh it’s a time loop. nice.#I like Mobius the best. he’s fun and his charisma is just fantastic. I’m glad they centered his on character a lot and intrigued to see#and where his character goes#GOD NO THEYRE MAKING SYLVIE AND LOKI A THING FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU#god I HATE that shit cmon. make him fall in love with Mobius u dumb fucks it’s so much more of an interesting take
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#polls#personally i dont like it but thats only because i dont like fandom. the type of stuff that gets the most attention#in fandom usually just annoys me idk. how to explain it in a way that wont come off as me saying#fanfic or whatever is evil its just the fact that it just bombards alot of the conversations?#i prefer it when the thing i like has 10 fans and theyre all on one message board or forum#like for example mtvs downtown is getting popular but apart from annoying#'me and the mid nerd guy i copped by being weird and sexy' posts its not awful....#but then smth like... clone high or smth i suddenly cant remember ppl just got so annoying abt that show??#like i cant stand it i dont even bother watching it anymore plus its just weird to me now like i can't watch it regardless#im just rambling but personally i do not like it. like i dont want what i like to get a revival#i dont want anything new! i just want to enjoy the thing and move on 😭#fandom seems to prioritize shipping and memes over evaluating or simply just enjoying something!#this goes for anything. music film tv books....
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