#it took three months in a row to realize it was happening at the same time every time

[sassmill]

Uh oh besties, I’m experiencing the same fluctuation of hormones that has happened about once a month for over a decade and still the only way my brain can cope with it is blinding rage and the vague desire to ęñď it all. This has been a PMDD post.

[nervousimposter]

Eddie started finding notes in his locker his sophomore year. The first couple of them, he just tossed without reading. He didn’t need to read what those asshole bullies wanted to say about him. But curiosity won out after two weeks of constant notes and he finally opened one. It was the single most impactful thing he’d ever read. 

I think you’re the prettiest boy I’ve ever seen. 

He kept that note. And every other note he got from that point on. If anyone were to ask Eddie what he regretted most in his life, it would be those two weeks of notes he tossed without reading. Ten slips of paper with unknown writing that he wishes he could get back. Add them to his ‘mystery boys notes’ box. And he was a mystery, the note writer. Anonymous. Unknown. Impossible to catch. 

Eddie held out for a month. A whole month before he decided to stage a stake out. He watched his locker like a hawk. In between classes, during classes, lunch, after school and even one absolutely horrible day where he came in an hour before school started. But the mystery boy had to be invisible. He never saw anyone approach his locker but his daily note was always there. And Eddie; poor, unfortunate, infatuated Eddie dealt with mystery boys’ notes from ‘82 to ‘85. Four agonizing years of the most heart-warming, loving notes. 

I wish I was as brave as you.

Did you change your shampoo? Your hair looked so soft today.

God, your eyes have to be the biggest fucking eyes I’ve ever seen. So pretty.

I like how long your hair is getting. 

Saw you walking down the hall today and I’ve never wanted to kiss someone more. 

They started cute. Compliments here and there, even a doodle every once in a while. Hearts and smiley faces. But as the months and years went by, the mystery boy got deeper. Confessions and secrets. 

I think if I had a different dad, we would’ve been best friends.

Can you fall in love with someone you’ve never talked to?

I dream about us. 

I’m a boy. I’m sorry.

I want to hold your hand. Those rings are something else. 

I saw you trying to catch me. Adorable.

I wish I could take you on a date. Not give a shit what my dad would say or what people would think. 

I wish I could be brave enough to talk to you. 

You’re still the prettiest boy I’ve ever seen.

I’m graduating this year. I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you. I think I’m going to try to figure out a way to keep dropping these off next year. I don’t want you to forget about me.

The notes didn’t continue when the school year started. Eddie was embarrassed to admit he cried that first night. He wasn’t sure how the mystery boy was going to be able to get the notes to him but he fully believed it was going to happen. He went five weeks with no daily note in his locker. And then, it showed up on a Monday. He almost missed it, the tiny slip of paper. 

Sorry this took so long. Had to figure out how I was going to sneak these in here. I don’t think I’ll be able to call you pretty every day of the week this time around but I’m going to try my best! 

And mystery boy was right. The notes were always there on Monday. Just Monday. But Eddie didn’t complain. One note a week after five weeks of nothing almost had his heart bursting from his chest. It also narrowed down his search. Sort of. Mystery boy was either coming in on those Mondays to drop off the note, sneaking in on the weekends when the school was empty OR after school on Fridays. And look, he’s failed to graduate high school two times in a row now but he wasn’t stupid. Did it take him three months after the notes to start again for him to realize who it was? Yes but to be fair, for two of those months it was Eddie wallowing in denial. 

Five weeks into school was when he restarted Hellfire. Three weeks before that was when he brought in those new little freshman sheepies. The same freshman sheepies that got picked up by Steve Harrington. Steve Harrington who graduated last year. Steve Harrington who he catches staring at him from his beemer in the parking lot every Friday night before he takes the kiddies home. Steve who he categorizes as someone who is so far out of his league that it just couldn’t be him. But it’s been three months and there isn’t any other former Hawkins high student running around in or near the school. And now that Eddie’s almost certain Steve has been mystery boy these past few years, he can’t wait. He’s been in love with a figure made out of slips of paper for four years and his nonexistent patience has truly run thin.  

He calls for a break 15 minutes before they normally end their sessions. Tells the boys he needs to run to the bathroom and almost sprints out the door. His locker sits in the hallway just around the corner of the drama room. The door closing shut echos through the empty hallways, alongside the squeaks coming from his shoes as he hustles towards his locker. He freezes as soon as he turns the corner. 

Steve probably only had 30 seconds after hearing the door open and shut to process what he was going to do. He could’ve run or hid, maybe pretend like he just needed the bathroom while he waited. But Eddie watched him pause as they made eye contact instead. Watched as Steve looked him up and down. Watched him relax and lean back against the lockers behind him with a lazy smirk. His arm slowly moved up and Eddie could see a slip of paper held between his fingers. Steve didn’t break eye contact with him at all as he proceeded to shove the paper between the vents of his locker. They stayed like that for what felt like hours. Staring. Broken when Steve pushed himself off the wall and walked towards him. He didn’t stop. Side stepped around Eddie before they could collide. A faint brush of his fingers along the back of his hand as he walked past him. And Eddie just watched him pass. Just like he watched him slip that note in his locker, he watched Steve walk back down the hall and out the front doors.

He waited only five seconds after the doors closed behind Steve before he jogged over to his locker. Grabbed the note and shoved it into his pocket before running back over to the drama room. Told the guys that they stopped at a decent spot and would meet again next Friday. Walked with them to the parking lot to head home. To catch a glimpse of Steve. And there he was, sitting in his beemer, staring again. This time though, Eddie smiled at him. He smiled at him and pulled the note out of his pocket. Opened it right there in the parking lot while he stared back at Steve. It only took him a few seconds to glance down to read. And as soon as he did, he threw his head back and laughed. Cackled really. He looked back at the beemer and saw Steve with the widest grin. Watched him lift his fingers off the steering wheel and wiggle them at him before he started pulling out of the lot. He looked back down at the note in his hand and chuckled again. Who knew Steve Harrington knew DnD well enough to draw a perfect rendition of an eight sided dice?

Wanna go on a d8? - Steve Harrington xxx-xxx-xxxx

[alchemistc]

There are tiny firefighters checking the integrity of the roof in a grid pattern directly on his brain.

The first thought comes as he's filtering towards wakefulness: Ow.

He needs maybe a gallon of water, and for the sun to stop being so fucking bright, and for -

His arm is pinned by something. That's - there's something wrong with that. Why is that wrong?

Tommy snaps his eyes open and immediately regrets it. The sun is too bright, and the bed he's in is too small, and the ceiling spins as he tries to get his bearings.

No clothes.

Sore muscles that don't have anything to do with the roiling of his gut or the nausea as he tries to focus or the way his brain feels too big for his skull.

He's a little afraid to turn his head, so he makes do with shifting his eyes to attempt to figure out why there's weight on his arm.

His stomach lurches dramatically, and Tommy squeezes his eyes shut. Not fucking again.

It's like he can't fucking help himself.

Tommy had known he'd regret agreeing to go to this damn bachelor party. Gregson is a good guy, but his best man is absolutely insane and apparently loaded - they'd all wandered in to the hotel to check in only to find they each had a room, a new suit somehow tailored to their measurements (that was a feat, considering), an itinerary laid out on each bathroom sink that included the places Tommy only ever went to when a buddy took him, and (if he's not mistaken, he'd immediately dropped his off at Gregson's brothers room) a little box neatly filled with party drugs.

It'd been fine, up until they'd split off. Gregson's best man had mentioned something about escorts, and about a third of the married men had turned to Tommy in a panic, like Tommy's sexuality was the only thing that could be a good enough excuse not to cheat on their wives, and Tommy hadn't had the heart to tell them there were definitely male sex workers and they were definitely the kind of thing Gregson's best man would be able to find in a heartbeat. He wasn't interested, anyway. If Tommy found someone to sleep with on this trip, he'd find them him-fucking-self.

So he'd made an excuse. Told Gregson they'd meet him in the bungalow the next afternoon. Six panicked men had followed after him like lost ducklings, across the lobby of the hotel and out into the cooling night.

He'd found a quiet looking bar off the strip, set them all up at the pool tables, and downed three shots in a row the moment he saw a flash of wide shoulders and curls.

It was a problem.

Tommy wasn't a fucking saint. He'd ripped his own heart out of his own damn chest, and sometimes the only medicine to try to heal that still bleeding wound was an ill-advised hookup with someone he'd never see again. Problem was, every guy that'd caught his eye in the last six months had a few of the same features. Tousled curls, blue eyes, a barrel chest, cheeks he could sink his teeth into. He did it because it felt like an apt punishment.

The guy on his arm groans. Shifts his weight. Rolls a shoulder and spins into the cradle of Tommy's armpit.

Tommy risks a peek and regrets it immediately.

"Morning," he says, and Tommy has spent months successfully avoiding this, how did he cross state lines and stumble right into it?

What the fuck happened last night?

Evan's thigh hitches up over Tommy's, criminally, perpetually cold foot tucking into the space between his legs. He slides a hand up the shifting muscles of Tommy's abdomen and there's a flash of memory there - Evan Buckley's eyes going dark and cloudy when he realized that Tommy had trimmed back up post breakup: no more gentle give to his tummy because there was no Evan cooking decadent meals three times a week that Tommy burned off in bed instead of the gym.

The hand glides up, fingers reaching to tweak a nipple, and Tommy turns his gaze to that instead. He can't look, can't see, can't -

"Is that -?"

Tommy ignores every muscle in his body protesting as he snatches at Evan's hand. His left hand.

His left hand that has a gold band settled on the third finger.

Tommy risks running his thumb over his own finger and - yeah. There's skin warm metal on his hand, too.

He waits for the panic. The terror. The absolute agony of knowing what kind of shit drunk Tommy dropped him in.

Only.

The gap in his memory is slowly filling in.

The two of them, buzzed but steady, eyeing each other across the little patio table tucked out back between the bar and a little nickel slot casino. The glittering lights above turning Evan golden as he acknowledged that the both of them had been idiots. Tommy, feeling that draw, the pull that no amount of curly hair or blue eyes on a stranger could replicate. The hand that reached for his when he'd admitted how fucking much he'd missed him.

Evan's expression when Tommy had dropped the stoicism and called him Evan again.

The longer Tommy stares at Evan's hand, the smaller the goofy smile on Evan's face becomes.

He moves like he's going to roll away, so Tommy brackets him in, tucks his face into the disaster of Evan's hair and breathes. "It's...slowly coming back, but uh... was this your idea or my idea?"

"What, running into each other in Vegas at a dive bar off the strip?"

Oh. He's - well, he sounds a little mad.

Doesn't stop him from sinking his teeth into the side of Tommy's pec, though.

"Or actually having the conversation you've been refusing to have with me for months?"

Another bite. Sharper, pointed this time.

"You made us go to three different chapels because you didn't like the look of the Elvis in the first two."

So. Tommy's idea, then.

He can see the edges of it. The of all the bars in all the world mentality that had given him the courage to say his piece, to listen to Evan's. The rightness of Evan's hand in his own, the absurd joy that sizzled under his skin when Evan raised their intertwined hand to press his lips to Tommy's knuckles.

Evan forces himself up, out-muscles Tommy and ignores the tractor beam of light that darts across his face so he can stare Tommy down. "Do you want me to go?"

Tommy wonders where the marriage certificate is. He thinks blindly of the joke about eating it - good luck returning me without the receipt.

"Did we actually sit down and write vows on our phones before we left the bar?"

Hours. Two more rounds of shots and maybe three beers each while they dissected every fucking misstep they'd taken those first six months. He hadn't been sober when he'd thrown it out there, but he hadn't been wasted either.

Tommy doesn't believe in fate. In curses, or the guiding hand of the universe, or soul mates.

But the coincidences seemed stacked, last night. Like this was all inevitable. Like eventually they'd be led back to each other no matter how many times Tommy found a poor substitute, no matter how many times Evan dipped his toes in and found he just wasn't as interested in someone new as he'd hoped he might be.

"I liked the bit about boils and all," Evan murmurs, and Tommy - well, he has to kiss him about that, doesn't he?

This doesn't solve anything. They've spent six months apart. They've got a share of issues that'd make a grown man weep. They - God, did they even say the words last night? He doesn't think they said the words.

Evan breaks the kiss to look him square in the eye, like he's read Tommy's mind. "I love you. I never stopped. Is that - is that enough, for now?"

Tommy feels light as a feather. Bright, and happy, and terrified out of his fucking mind. "Evan. I love you. We should get a divorce."

He narrows his eyes. Twists the ring with the pad of his thumb. "I think we could probably just do an annulment." Tommy laughs. Evan's vows are coming back in bits and pieces as his gaze in this moment mirrors the one he'd had on his face with a mildly better Elvis impersonator standing between them. Platitudes about not finding something but making it. Fancy words that only meant something because Evan wanted them to. Because Tommy did.

"I'm keeping the ring," Tommy says, and Evan's grin splits down the middle as he leans back in, somehow not bothered in the least by Tommy's morning breath.

[zweiginator]

hey bestie could I request patrick and art taking turns eating the reader out (or at the same time)????? feel like that would be my dream fr. love your writing!!!

OH.

patrick and arts' confidence had been struggling. they had just lost their fourth doubles match. in a row. this was uncommon--no, it had never happened before. one loss happens. two is bad luck. three is shaken confidence. but four, four becomes a habit.

and you heard their coach yelling at them after their loss. you, expecting your best friends to win, had promised to take them out for wings at their favorite bar after their win. of course, they didn't win, but their dejected little puppy dog eyes made you feel so bad. so you took them out anyway.

you would never tell them this, but they look so cute in their matching outfits. snug black shorts that hug their muscular thighs. a t-shirt adorning their beloved tennis club. art wore his ball cap backwards; patrick's was worn the normal way.

and they were so sad. barely talking to you, sighing as they sucked and bit on their wings, pushing their fingers into their mouth. you kind of just watched them eat.

and the thing about your relationship with art and patrick was that it had teetered and almost bled over the line for the one and a half years you all had been friends. nothing about your relationship was traditional. on the road, you would all share a bed. and sometimes you wore art's shirt to bed and patrick's boxers. you commented on how handsome they look multiple times a week, and laughed at how flustered they would get. the boys ogled at your ass when you played your own matches, the wind pushing your tiny skirt up as a gift to them. but you had never, ever fully committed to pushing those boundaries. none of you had ever kissed, nor had you indulged in your sexual fantasies.

but that doesn't mean you didn't have them. and you knew art and patrick talked about them when you weren't there.

so you had an idea. it was stupid, and maybe you were feeling cocky at how pathetic they looked sitting across from you in a silence that was bordering on uncomfortable. but you gave them a deal.

"your guys' confidence is wavering." you tell them, pushing your finger into their basket of wings. you suck some of the sauce off. patrick and art are listening; it's the first thing anyone has said at this celebratory-dinner-turned -depressing-pity-party. "and hey, you're both incredibly good at tennis. so it makes sense that you're this upset."

they nod, and reach for the same fry. art pushes the basket towards patrick, and he happily shoves a handful in his mouth.

"but if you sit here and let it get you down, you're both gonna get in your head and keep losing."

"how do we avoid that? it may be too late." patrick takes a sip of his drink. art has his arms crossed over his chest.

"have something that drives you to want to win so bad, that you don't have a choice but to win." you lean forward. their eyes are big and confused.

"we always want to win." art shrugs.

"and if you do," you begin. "i will give you both a present of sorts."

"which is?" patrick's interest is piqued. but you can tell he's pissed at you insinuating they don't want to win enough.

"if you win your doubles on thursday, i'll let you do whatever you want to me." you whisper it, and hear them gulp.

your promise alluded to a conversation you had overheard six months prior. you weren't even supposed to be at their apartment, but you had had a bad day and wanted to watch a movie with them. they were talking loud in the living room, and you quickly realized it was about you.

"i wouldn't purposely ruin our friendship, is what i'm saying." art said. "but if she let us fuck her--i would do it immediately."

patrick interjected. "i would do disgusting things to her. and i would let her do them right back to me. seriously, anything."

the word anything was the kicker here. because ever since that conversation, you wondered what anything would be for them. how they would fuck you. what their fantasies were.

patrick wipes his mouth with a napkin and leans forward. "both of us together? or we separately can do anything we want?"

you shrug. "whatever you both want. that's the promise. i don't have any stipulations on how it's done."

"holy fuck." art is flustered, maybe because he realizes you know he is just as perverted as his best friend.

you all shook on it, like it was a stupid bet. it kind of was.

and by thursday, you were nervous. they were playing some of the top-ranked players in the nation. of course, art and patrick had good rankings, respectively, but they had been steadily dropping down the ranks since their losing streak began.

everyone at the match was rooting for art and patrick, but they didn't expect them to win. and you didn't know what it meant for your friendship with the boys that you were on the edge of your seat with your fingers crossed, praying they would win. for you.

they came out strong, waving to the crowd, but especially to you. and when the match began, you had never seen their reflexes so fast, their hits so precise. the other boys were gaining on them, but the deep grunts coming from art and patrick, the sweat running down their necks, it all showed they wanted this so fucking bad.

they won like it was easy. of course, they had actually tried incredibly hard--but they made it look nonchalant. and they looked at you as they hugged each other, celebrating a win that signified much more than fans saw on the surface.

they decided to cash in their prize that same night. that's what they said when they came up to you, beaming. their chests heaved, but their smiles were big. and nobody around knew exactly what they meant.

so you lay on patrick's bed, in your little skirt and a tank top, resting up on your elbows so you can watch them. you notice how they are both there; they didn't decide to go separately.

neither of them really say a word at first. patrick slips one of your shoes off and art the other. they look at each other as their hands run up your bare leg, until they reach the waistband of your skirt.

"do you wanna do the honors, artie?" patrick asks.

art quickly pulls your skirt down your legs. they admire the pink lacy panties you're wearing.

"take off your shirt." art tells you.

you do, quickly. you aren't wearing a bra. their breath hitches.

"fuck me." patrick lunges forward and sucks your nipple into his mouth, his teeth grazing against the sensitive bud. art goes for your neck, pressing open-mouthed kisses along your jaw and down to your collarbones. his strong hands feel your breast. you're trying not to moan, not to give them the satisfaction that this is for anyone but them. but you do.

art returns the favor by turning your face to his. he kisses you desperately, moaning into your mouth, his spit wet on your chin. patrick feels left out. he moves up your body by kissing your jaw on the other side, before he forcefully kisses your mouth. he is hungry. at a quick glance, you see how hard they are. but they don't pull out their cocks. they don't pull your hand to feel their erections. and they don't tell you to suck them off.

ininstead,stead their mouths travel downward, each of them pulling one of your legs apart. they press sloppy kisses down your chest, licking down your stomach, until they are laying on their own stomachs, looking up at you. patrick kisses your inner thigh. he pulls your panties down your legs.

"her pussy is so pretty." art admires. they're talking like you're not even there.

"look how fucking wet she is."

your legs shake as you bite your lip.

"should we take turns, or should we share?" art asks.

patrick is greedy, and he hooks both of his arms around your legs, his hands on your ass. he presses wet, hot kisses to your cunt and licks at your clit. your hips buck, and art pushes them down, cooing in your ear. you can tell he's jealous, that he wants to help too.

"good girl." art praises. his breath feels good against your ear, and you move to kiss him, your hands tangled in his pretty blond hair.

patrick's fingers move inside you. they're fat and soaked and his tongue feels good as it moves in circles over your swollen clit.

art pulls away from your mouth and patrick pulls the hem of art's shirt.

"come taste her."

your mouth hangs open as patrick pulls his fingers from you and offers them to art. and the moan you let out as art sucks them into his mouth is fucking pornographic.

and then art's mouth is on your cunt. his fingers press into your thighs and it hurts in the best way. art is louder than you expected, and louder than patrick. he spits on your cunt and spreads it open to admire your hole, soaked and pretty for them. he hums and moans and groans into your pussy, and patrick can't take it.

so they share you. their tongues touch and their spit mixes as they eat your pussy, their hips bucking into the bed.

"tastes so fucking good." patrick moans, his thumb pushing into you.

art looks up at you, at how fucked out you look. you cum on their tongues--both of them. and you watch as they continue to lap at your sensitive clit, begging you to cum just one more time for them.

they don't want this to be over. and you think about how this was what they wanted, this is what they decided on when you gave them that choice. this was their anything.

[mcyt-trios]

FINAL ROUND

PROPAGANDA:

3 Heart Trio:

theyre soo silly theyre just silly little guys who do things like mining an entire chunk in the center of the server's spawn for their own entertainment and to annoy everyone else

They are PATHETIC. They are ANNOYING. They are PERFECT. They are playing on three hearts and they die so much. They have a specialized raid platform that is NOT a raid farm. They are a team against exploits! Their base has 3 hearts above it representing them

these guys decided to put love and fun above all on the killing-lying server. while watching other teams betray and fall apart they have stuck with each other till the very last day of the server and never doubted one another. they worked like a clockwork, they knew they could only rely on themselves and at the end of the day, they didnt mind that it was that way

these guys got the short end of the stick time and time again throughout all of lifesteal s4, they were the targets of so many traps and attacks for no reason other than they were weak and always around. and despite it all they never wanted revenge and never held grudges! they cared about fun and friendship more than anything else, and while all the other teams ended up falling apart or betraying each other, these three stuck together from start to end. they didn't care about how many hearts they had, how much gear they had, or how powerful they were, because in the end all they needed was each other <3 i miss them so bad btw

Eclipse Federation:

i dont like them. they ruined my life. Subz and Vitalasy had already partnered in previous seasons but this one, Vitalasy ended up leaving for a few months, leaving Subz alone, and Zam ended up getting close to him after immense trauma at the hands of his former teammates. Zam has done SO many wrongs, including to Subz himself and Subz STILL took him in and made him join Eclipse Federation after Zam died 14 times in a row and got banned then revived by the same player who's been killing him all this time. And it could've been perfect but no, Zam had betrayed his previous team due to them using dupes via exploits, and now Eclipse Federation ALSO has exploits! And he decided that yeah his morals were more important than being loved! And so he murders Vitalasy when he's at his most vulnerable point, lets everyone gaslight him into thinking Vitalasy is an irredeemable evil monster who will never change, even as Vitalasy SAID he was ready to change before the betrayal even happened, Eclipse threw out their whole revenge plans because of Zam's positive influence and he just broke everything. Subz couldn't be with Zam but also couldn't see himself at Vitalasy's side, leaving him alone. Vitalasy hated Zam and yet never killed him or hunted him down, despite Zam acting like he did. And when Vitalasy left, banning himself off from the server, Zam had some time alone to think and realized he fucked up SOOOO bad. And Subz revived Vitalasy and told him to kill him. And ban him. His last wish. His Deliverance. And to make up with Zam. And Vitalasy tried, and they kind of did make up over Subz's death, but then Zam was like "actually im going to kill everyone and destroy the server now. because i want subz back and also because i always do extremely drastic things when i don't need to because i have unchecked mental illnesses i refuse to get help for". And surprisingly when Subz came back he didn't like that! And they ended in tragedy! Eclipse is fucked up. It's a trio that's always about the absence of one person, it's a team that could only happen in one timeline and it was doomed from the very start. But the love was there. It made everything worse, truthfully. But it was there. And that matters. Also as a fun fact Zam himself on twitter has referred to eclipse as a throuple, which is not canon but that's pretty funny. he also stated on stream he didn't want to get therapy because it'd ruin his lifesteal character. and there was a saga where they would "marry" (challenge lost kinda shenanigans) and zam was the only one happy about it. he's not normal. there's something wrong with him. love that for him though sorry for the block of text. I really dislike them. They're my beloveds :3

[teddybeartoji]

me and toji me and toji me and tojiiiiiiii...

we started out as neighbors but it took us like three months to even propely meet lmao,, it takes me a while to get used to new places so when i first moved in i just stayed at home like a lot. a lot a lot. i literally only left to go to the grocery store and then to the park down the street and that's it. and toji is a big homebody too, so he didn't go out all that much either, just work and then the bar with a friend every once in a while. we just didn't happen to move at the same time, despite living right next to each other.

after about a month, i found myself a third place and slowly but surely grew more and more comfortable there – the cinema (nobody is surprised). i always liked to go during the day, as early as i could, just to make sure that there wouldn't be too many people. always in the last row, always in the middle seat. this is the mickey way. anyway, after creating a bit of a routine for myself, i felt more free to observe my surrounding some more too. felt more comfortable to start people watching. and that's when i saw him. mostly dressed in darker clothes, hoodies and big jackets. sometimes with a cap on, sometimes without it. it's not like he was always always there at the same time as me but when he was, he always sat in the last row but instead of fighting for the middle seat, he always sat at the very end of the row. obviously i thought he looked very handsome – we had made eye-contact a few times while buying popcorn by accident and let me tell you, that was enough to have my heart racing ok i am very weak. but i'm not bold enough to strike up a conversation like that so stolen glances and shared movie experiences were all we had. we btw have a very similar taste in films so we did end up seeing each other a lot there lmao

aaaanyway i just had a silly little cinema crush but never did anything abt it bc i'm a pussy ok😔😔 (he's literally the same). okay but so, one day i was coming home from whereever, just stepped into the elevator when a hand stopped the doors and HE appeared. i was very confused. he.. looked confused too lmao,, but now........ loookkkk.... no matter how handsome he is..... he's still a stranger, and a man too at that. a man who seems to be where i am multiple times a week and is now suddenly where i live. yes, i freaked the fuck out okay. don't judge me. he didn't press a floor button either yk so i really did start to spiral over the fact that maybe he's stalking me or smth..... and he saw that. he saw me tense up and he isn't stupid – he knows he's a tough big guy and it did seem like he could've been stalking me. so he immediately backed away a bit, trying to make himself smaller bc he obviously didn't want to make me any more uncomfortable. and then he just blurted out with his raspy voice that he lives here. it definitely cracked the tension a bit. he cleared his throat and slowly pointed at the floor buttons, saying that he lives on the same floor (btw i need everybody to know that he has a bit of an accent in my head it's very very important to me he speaks english very well but his accent still shines through and i love it very very much<33333). he even showed me his keys lmao and i did feel way more safe after that buuut we still didn't really introduce each other or anything. i guess the air still felt just a bit weird.. the doors opened and we both walked to out apartments in silence (it wasn't actually awkward or anything though it was just . silence) and then looked at each other with silly faces when we realized we literally live Right next to each other lmao that was funny. i just said that i moved in like two months ago and that was it. we went our seperate ways.

for a day.

bc you have no idea.. how awful i felt abt that elevator thing. oooooooh my god. IT'S NOT HIS FAULT HE'S SO BIG SO IT'S SO MEAN FOR ME TO ASSUME THAT HE'S SOME AXE MURDERED YK well it isn't but i still felt really really bad esp since he tried to immediately make me feel more comfortable and tried to reassure me that he was not, in fact, stalking me lmao but yeah idk it just weighed really heavily on me i couldn't help but keep thinking abt it soooo i ended up baking a batch of brownies the very next day. and i went to his door (still in my hello kitty pyjama pants mind you)(i forgot to change them) aaand then started rambling and STUTTERING BTWW while apologizing and he just stood there like ???? like he didn't even understand why i was apologizing in the first place lmao he felt it was a very understandable for me to have that fear and to think the way i was thinking (he actually felt a bit bad abt the whole thing inside too he just didn't really know how to express it). aaaanyway so he was just there staring at me with like a veeery faint smile bc at a point it got a bit ridiculous bc i really did start just rambling abt the whole thing lmao it was uhhh just a bit embarrassing (the fact that he's hot didn't help either thank you very much). he thought it was cute how i was there trying to apologize for smth that he should've been apologizing for himself lmao he tried to say no to the brownies at first and i shoved them at him so hard they all almost fell.. aaand i think that's exactly where he decided that hm. mickey . yes weird little creature i am intrigued i want to know more yk?

btw we still didn't exchange numbers or anything at that point, that happened later after i came knocking at his door at twelve am bc there was a big spider in my room but i'll talk abt that some other time:33333333 thank you for reading abt the miji lore i love you . and i love him. sooooso much he means the world to me<3333333333333333

[ghostsvacuumcleaner]

Hello! i was wondering if you could write me a req bc i saw your reqs r open (bc I ✨respectfully✨ suck booty at writing)

basically, reader made friends with Ghost while working together on deployment, and became friends, they hang out sometimes bc they live kinda close, blah blah blah. then, Ghost doesn't hear from reader in months (which isn't normal, bc they text like once a month, just to make sure one another is okay when they can). then, one day, in the middle of a meeting Ghost gets a call from an unfamiliar number and almost ignores it until he sees that the area code is the one reader lives in, so he decides to answer it. boom, guess what? the reader is in the hospital, sustained r/srs injuries, and is in need of emergency surgery, and the reader made Ghost the emergency contact (lets also say they traded dog tags bc fluff?)

homie gets all sad bc Reader might die and is in a mini coma, blah blah blah, realized he r in love w the reader, and uh

you can decide whether or not the reader dies and what happens next

i fr scream YIPEEE when i saw your req open, i adore your writing, like top tear, makes me cry but laugh and scream bc how are you so good?! srs, im so jelly of your writing! okay anyways, hope you have a lovely day, you dont have to do this is you dont want or if im jus a silly fucker and mis read and your reqs r closed or sum

Hellloooo! Thank you SO MUCH for the beautiful compliments and for this request <3 I loved it so much I started writing the day you sent it to me. But since it's very emotionally charged, it took me a little while to finish and I'm sorry bout that, and I rly hope you're still around and eager to read it!!! Well, there it is, my take on ur req, hope you like it.

Take me back (to the night we met) | Simon "Ghost" Riley x f!reader

✦Word count: 2.1k ✦ Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley xf!reader ✦Summary: Simon gets a call from the hospital saying that you are hospitalized, in a coma and in great life risk. ✦ TW and general warnings: sensitive topics, lots of angst, fluff though, death implications, open ending, sad af read at ur own risks cuz i'm crying in my room rn;

I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met

“Johnny and I make our entrances fast. I clear the way, he goes front, three of you get in by the back and we surround the site to get enough space for the hostages to come out. Any questions?” Ghost asks sternly, as is the usual of his tone especially coming down to work. He was being brutally professional at the moment - if there was rather a sign of an existing Simon, it was gone the moment he got inside the briefing room. Silence follows for the next seconds while the crew seems to be pondering over what he said, analyzing the map over the big round table sticking to the center of the room.

As it is expected, no questions. He nods with his head assuming by the silence that they’re all understood.

“Our orders are to neutralize any individual we find on the site whose face doesn’t match with our hostages, which means we do it fast before they get the chance to call for reinforcements. We don’t wanna make a mess out of this.” Price then continues his own talking, marking X’s over the tactic map and giving the next orders to every one of them. It is when Gaz opens his mouth to say something, that Simon’s phone rings for the third time in a row. He curses mentally - he muted his phone the first time; now, it was vibrating in his pocket. Awkwardly, the vibration itself is heard by everyone in the room and they turn their eyes on him almost instantly.

“Hell.” He curses out in a low voice before shaking his head. “My apologies, Captain.” His voice tries its best not to come out too annoyed, but he fails and it does; despite the timing being inconvenient, no one seems to be bothered. Johnny furrows his brows in concern, and looks over at Price, who seems to have the same, perhaps even more intense, look on his face.

Ghost mentions to pull out and turn off his phone once again, but Price is quick to intervene.

“Riley.” He crosses his arms over his chest. “Third time in a row; seems like somethin’ serious, get out and pick up.” He states comprehensively.

Despite being slightly reluctant, Ghost agrees - it must be something serious. What, he couldn't come to imagine - but if for a moment in his life he had something close to a hunch, it was now, and it said he should take that call.

“Alright, one minute. Move on without me.” He nods and leaves the room, phone in hand and a worried sigh leaving his nostrils. When the door closes behind him and he walks a bit further down the hallway, he picks up.

“Yes?”

“Is this Lieutenant Simon Riley?” A feminine voice asks from the other side. Sounds in the background, beeps and small, muffled voices.

“Affirmative, who’s this?” He frowns.

“This is from the Special Forces Manchester Hospital, are you familiar with the name- hmm…” She seems to be taking a couple seconds to read, and continues saying your name. 

He freezes in place.

How long has it been since he last heard this name? How long has it been since you vanished like thin air, disappeared, stopped calling or answering? Busy. That’s what he thought. Busy with work, busy with anything. The two of you had always been two busy people, in a desperate need for time.

For a moment, in those torturous seconds of silence, Simon found himself praying to a God he wasn't even sure he believed in, that this nurse wouldn't tell him you’re dead.

“Yes.” It’s all he manages to say, with his eyes running down to the ground in a dead stare. Dead eyes. He gulps, after the despair in his chest makes him speak once again, “Why?”

“Well- sir, you’re her emergency number, we’re calling because we couldn’t manage any family members… She’s in a coma. She was severely injured in combat, and [...]”

His heart stops, like it never did before. He doesn't react, his eyes look around as if he's searching for something - as if searching for his own reaction hidden somewhere within that empty hallway. The weight of your dog tag around his neck seems to be suffocating him now. 

To his silence, the woman continues.

“[...] it’s… currently sort of impossible to predict her state within the next few days, she’s fighting but struggling lots; can you come over?” 

“Yes.” He sharply replies, immediately. His eyes are still on the ground as he closes his eyes, and nods. “I’ll be on my way, yes.” 

“Good.” She replies, and he turns off.

For a moment, he stops to breathe; Ghost wipes his hand over his mouth in a somewhat guilty expression, he should have reached for you. He should have reached you the instant he missed you, your calls. 

“Hell…” He shuts his eyes for a moment, his heart stings like he’s poisoned, it hurts - some sort of pain he swears to god, he probably never felt before. Not when he lost his training dog, nor when he lost friends before - maybe because there were always a lingering possibility between the two of you. It was nothing but a friendship, never had been - but every word, every phrase was full of underlines of sentiment, an immense desire to reveal his interior and spit out the fears he refused to speak about to anyone else.

It's the possibility that kills him now. Even after all this time, not for a second did you cease to exist in his troubled and saddened mind. Suppressed by all the worries and feelings he thought were more important than you.

Not for a moment did he stop thinking about that pleasant end to his career, the retirement he knew he deserved, a house at least isolated from the rest of the world with trees and streams, the snow falling when winter comes and the sun scorching the land. land when summer finally arrived. You, on the front porch. 

You.  You.

When the night was full of terrors And your eyes were filled with tears When you had not touched me yet Oh, take me back to the night we met

You were leaning back on the sofa, your legs stretched out by the small table that marked the space between you and the balcony railing of his apartment.

The rain fell calmly, some thunder, but few drops. The sound of them falling against the roofs of the houses below the level where you were was echoing in your ears, and he seemed busy drawing patterns among the heavy clouds that covered the sky. 

He gave up trying to find any stars in that rainy sky and found comfort in finding your eyes instead. They were already watching him, almost expecting him to say something, even though the silence between two of you usually speaks volumes more than words itself; you’ve never been good with them, much less him. 

Simon looked down at your dog tag, lying brightly on your bust exposed by the tank top you wore. 

“What do you want to do after retiring?” He asked, his voice calm, his eyes almost closed. He took your necklace between his fingers calmly, and watched your shiny name exposed on the icy metal.

“Gotta be honest with you, can’t see myself retiring.” You replied, with your usual brutal honesty - something he particularly always liked so much about you. “What about you?” 

You don’t mind him, you allow.

“Don’t know.” He was, too, brutally honest. “Seek fuckin’ forgiveness for my sins before I die and end up in hell, I suppose.” 

You laughed.

“Oh, fuck. Gonna die trying to find that, mate.” You admit, raising your eyebrows in another big sip of your beer. “We’re all going to hell… At least we’ll all party there together.” You sounded fun, and your eyes turned into little lines with the genuine smile you let out when noticed that he too laughed at your joke. 

“We’re partyin’? Tell me Johnny isn’t going…”

“He’s my first guest.” You laugh harder.

“Thought that’d be me.” 

“You hate parties.” You raised your eyebrows.

“I don’t hate you.”

You silently smiled and looked away. 

“Fair enough.”

When it came to the two of you, there was nothing but connotation.

You could spend hours in that apartment alone with him - and you did. Did plenty of times, and yet, among subtle touches and heartfelt conversations, the end would be the same. Not in his bed, not in yours: by the door, with a rueful look and smile on your face. 

With a held back hug you never gave, a held back kiss you never allowed and an uncertain goodbye before departing on a mission that could take your or his life.

There was a phone call, once.

He called you late in the night. He was drunk. Too drunk. 

“I’m scared.” His voice was low, fluttering, like those cold days he’d be waiting for his dad’s arrival in his bed, under the covers, terrified and alone. “I’m scared. Can- can I see you? Can I come over, please?” 

As you hugged him on the couch in your own apartment now - that huge, strong, self-sufficient man collapsing in your lap like a baby in need of comfort, your heart was never right about anything like it was right about loving him. In that moment you knew it, you were fucking lost, taken, desperately in love.

You departed; you gave him your dog tag, he gave you his. A memory, an attempt. Do not forget me, you said. Don’t you dare forget me if I die, Simon Riley.

“I didn’t.” 

He looks at you with regret. The devices that help you breathe keep him from seeing you fully, whole - but still behind all those hospital beeps and sounds, you're still as beautiful as the first time he saw you.

He wants to go back to the past. Reverse everything he did, redo it from scratch; the first time he saw you, the first time he felt his heart ache listening to you talk about another man, all the times he repressed his feelings and swore not to love you.

“I want to be with you.” He mutters, his eyes emptily stare down your almost lifeless hand resting over his. “After I retire. I want to be with you.” He says again, closing his eyes, shutting them tight like he’s trying his very best to repress the tears he wants so bad to let fall. 

“I fuckin’ need you- I- how did this happen, how did you…” He gasps as the clock ticks, low, the sound of the hands ringing like doomsday inside his head. Every second that passed was one less with you. There are twenty minutes left for you to enter that operating room, and maybe you’ll never leave it again.

His eyes water and his legs give out, he kneels beside the bed, his suppressed voice sounding like a low, painful moan. The cry of a child who lost everything he had; of a confused teenager who would become a soldier, cold, dead inside, incapable of love - who loved you. Who loves you. “I’m scared. I’m scared- I love you.” He’d mutter, praying to all known gods to not take you. Take anything, anything from me; anything but her.

When the doctors came into the room and hurriedly moved your gurney to the ward in a desperate attempt to get your heart working again with the transplant, Simon sat in the waiting room with his face buried in his hands, his legs trembling. and the false hope that you would come back.

That you’ll be on that front porch, resting ever so happily, a bottle of beer in your hand and the dogs running around. He will have gotten rid of the mask and the habit of wearing it and you’ll be happy. You’ll be happy. You’ll be alive.

“God, please.” He mutters. “You’ve taken so much from me, now please, not this.”

He stands up as the doctor calls his name, with his heart on his hand and regret flashing his face off, he just wants another minute with you, another second with you, enough seconds so he can tell you he love you - he had, for most of his life and now, and he will, for the rest of his days with or without you.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Oh, take me back to the night we met.

[wandamyconfort]

if I were you.. | CH.3

wanda Maximoff x fem!reader

summary: y/n is best friends with vision, who ironically, is the boyfriend of his worst enemy, wanda maximoff. until one night, when the clock struck midnight, they are both struck by something mysterious that completely changes the fate of their best friends, including a certain redhead… be careful what you wish for.

sorry for any translation errors, english is not my first language

the two friends were petrified, and you swallowed hard. Pallor took over their faces. Wanda just stared confused at them, not understanding why the tension had formed.

- Hu-hum ér... - she stammered nervously. - Wow, look at the time, I'm already late! - If I don't run now I'll miss class. - You dissimulated, looking shakily at your wrist as if you could see the time on an imaginary clock. - Wanda, let's talk more calmly later, okay? - you shouted to the bigger girl running away from the two of them. vision snapped out of the trance he was in. Wanda looked at him raising an eyebrow in total confusion, the boy looked at her for a few seconds before running after you. The redhead remained in place still confused.

(...)

The two of them entered the history room. They would have the same class, the place was still empty, there were only three students in a corner talking.

- What do we do now? - she muttered angrily, sitting down on one of the red chairs in the front row, and Vision imitated her by sitting next to her. - I'm not going to kiss your girlfriend! Damn it, no, no, no, no. No way!

You were hysterical and the boy put his hand on your shoulder.

- Calm down!

- How do you want me to calm down? - you widened your irritated eyes at him.

- Do you realize that? Wanda asked me for a kiss! She's your girlfriend and she won't leave me alone because she thinks I'm you! I won't put up with her for a whole month. No way! We can't stand each other, she hates me, and I don't care one bit about her well being! And now it won't be any different, not like this, not ever! I won't be able to be nice to her. Wanda doesn't suit me, you already know everything I think about her, she's a stupid, idiotic, stuck-up, cold and shallow girl who thinks her life depends on being prom queen and if that doesn't happen the universe ends. - She let out a deep breath through her monologue.

- You don't know her, Y/n... You don't know what you are talking about. - He crossed his arms, irritated by her words and looked straight ahead. The girl snorted and rolled her eyes.

- This isn't going to work!

- Anyway, stay calm, I know what we're going to do... Didn't you suppose we should tell someone what happened? Well, we'll start with Wanda.

Little by little the other students appeared and sat down in their seats. The teacher entered the room and wished everyone good morning. They waited for the class to end and Vision exchanged the schedules with you. So did your cell phones. You didn't leave each other alone for a minute, and when you had to leave each other to change rooms, which wouldn't be the same for both of you, you agreed to meet in your lockers. In one of those room changes, you spotted Wanda from afar and immediately tried to hide. you had to avoid her until you told her what was going on

(...)

Wanda closed the door of the house, placing her keys on the keychain attached to the wall. The girl's house, although not on the south side of Miami, where the mansions were, was wonderfully big and bright, with windows that went from the floor to half of the ceiling. a "small mansion" between Vision and Y/n, separated by a few blocks. that by Wanda's own will didn't want to live far from her grandmother Agnes or even from school.

She took off her uniform, took a relaxing shower in her bathtub, and put on a pair of shorts and a tank top, her hair in a bad bun with red hair falling across her face. She liked to be comfortable.

- Mom, are you home? - she asked, surprised to find Natalya in the study.

- Yes, daughter. - She answered quickly, concentrating on her notebook screen and holding a phone to her ear. Wanda tilted her head slightly to the side, passing an embarrassed hand over her arm.

- The Prom is in a couple of weeks... I think I'll finally get my crown this year. - She said with a simple smile, trying to talk to her mother who seemed to be waiting for someone to speak on the other end of the line.

- I'm glad, dear. - Wanda frowned, sighing. - Yes, Miguel, close the deal with the Mexicans... But my husband's not there...? Okay, they want to handle this personally with the owner of the company... - she huffed, scratching her temple. - I understand. Delay them as long as you can, please, I'll be there in a few minutes. she hung up the phone and then got up from leather chair.

- wanda, later we will continue this conversation, okay? - She was packing her purse.

- The Latinos want to deal personally with the majority owner of the company, as you see I have to go urgently. - She hurriedly argued, kissing her daughter's frown and leaving the office without waiting for the girl's answer.

wanda bit her lip, moving her head in a sorry manner. Always busy... They never had time for her. They had problems to show their feelings and affection for their daughter, and compensated this with gifts, trips, better clothes, cars.. Everything she wanted that could be bought, would be in their hands in seconds.

wanda since she was a little girl had a rigorous education, kept a healthy eating routine. she had the best nannies, although she preferred her grandmother Agnes. Stylists, etiquette teachers, teachers of several languages, teachers of musical instruments. But she didn't want any of that, she just wanted their attention. But that was too much to ask.

After being alone in that office, the redhead decided to go up to her room and rest for a while. Downstairs, someone rang the doorbell.

- maria, is Wanda there? - asked Vision to the maid, in the body of Y/n who had just arrived together.

- Yes, she's in her room. Come in! - she replied, looking at Vision sympathetically. She knew that the boy had free access to the house so she didn't hesitate to invite them in and send them straight upstairs and they did.

- What is this girl doing here? - Wanda was indignant after opening the door and seeing Y/n there.

Vision was startled by his girlfriend's murderous gaze on him and hid behind Y/n.

- Can I curse at her now or wait a little longer? - she asked Vision, who gave him a glare in response. - Okay, I'll wait. - she teased, laughing.

Wanda looked at him as if he had three heads. She didn't understand anything and looked at them in complete confusion. Vision, who occupied Y/n's body, didn't wait for an invitation to enter the room and immediately sat down on a small heart-shaped sofa that adorned a space for two. Wanda closed the door, looking at the girl for her impudence.

- This is going to be confusing for you... Oh dear, how am I going to explain this. - Wanda looked at Y/n with her arms crossed. - I'm not Y/n... I am Vision.

He went straight to the point, without beating around the bush, staring at the redhead who looked serious, now sitting on the bed.

- Y/n is in my body and I'm in hers... I know it sounds crazy but this all happened last night and when I woke up I was like this! - he looked at the body that now belongs to him.

- It was an idiotic source that caused this. - Y/n spoke up seriously. Wanda nodded positively slowly, bent her legs in an Indian shape on the bed with her arms still crossed looking at them seriously. But then she laughed, not being able to hold it in.

- What did you smoke? Vision, are you on drugs?

- I'm serious! You have to believe us. - argued the agitated boy. - I already know. - stood up looking at Wanda.

- Ask something that only Vision would know the answer to. - Good idea, Y/n!

- That's enough. I'm in no mood for jokes.

- Come on, please ask, and we'll leave so you can rest. - pleaded Vision.

- Ok, what is my favorite color? - she kept a smile on his face as he entered the game.

- Blue.

- Peen. - Wanda made a sound of denial. - Wrong!

- It's yellow, you idiot! Can't you see her room?! - Y/N slapped the other one on the head, frustrated that he had gotten something so silly wrong.

The walls of the room were white, but one was completely yellow. There were drawings of hand-painted flowers also yellow on the white walls. There was a peach-banana bear on the bed, the curtains, even the closet had yellow details. It looked like a baby's room, which caught Y/n's attention. she didn't expect it to be so... cute.

- Huh, that one was no good. Ask something harder this time. - He apologized and Y/N rolled his eyes.

Ask Vision something only he would know. - Y/n intervened.

- This is the last one… - She warned, already tired of all this tomfoolery.

- What is the day we started dating? - Wanda asked, not knowing who to look at.

- That's easy. - Vision smiled. - It was last year, January 7th.

- Wrong. Incorrect answer. - Imitated robot voice.

- God damn it, Vision, it was January 20th!

- And how do you know? - asked in disbelief, looking at Y/n.

- I could never forget the day I lost my precious voice and almost went deaf because my best friend kept shouting to the whole school that he was dating Wanda Maximoff. - she sneered. - It was the worst day of my life.

- Okay, that's enough! - she got up.

- I don't know what's gotten into you today, I'm really not in the mood for jokes. You. - she pointed at Y/n. - Get out of my house! And you. - she pointed at Vision. - Let's have a serious talk later!

she opened the bedroom door for them to leave.

- No, wait… I'm going to tell you something that only I would know. - Insisted Vision looking at Wanda. - Do you remember that time we drove back in the car just the two of us from your parents' beach house? It started raining and soon a storm came. The car got stuck on the sand road and we had to wait for the rain to pass and… - He scratched the back of his neck. - The weather started to warm up. You took off your blouse and I could see a small scar just below your breasts. We started kissing and it was the first time we…

What a bitch… In the car in a storm, in the middle of nowhere, with the car stuck. Very romantic place to have a first time. Y/n was immersed in her thoughts.

- DID YOU TELL HER? - Wanda shouted furiously, jumping on him and throwing several punches at Vision.

- Are you fucking crazy? Get off of me! - Y/n was caught by surprise and tried to dodge the blows.

- Wanda! - Vision was pulling her waist trying to get her off Y/n.

- I am Vision! Believe me!

- That's enough! I've had enough of this stupid game! - she got off Y/n, who was breathing in fright, and pulled himself together.

- Vision, I am very angry! And you don't want to know what I can do when I'm mad, do you? - He denied it with his head, quickly. - Good. I don't know what the hell has gotten into you to play this kind of sick joke on me. Especially with this... thing. - she pointed at Y/n.

- I don't want to talk to you or see your face right now. I'm not in the mood to argue. So please, get out of here!

They had no way of disputing the redhead. So they left the house without another word. The drive home was silent. He would drop Y/n off at his house and then go to hers. Her parents were crazy, calling all the time. They were worried, because she had left this morning without warning and now it was past 7:00 pm and she had not even shown up at home or at least given any news.

- I don't think this business of telling someone is going to work out too well. - Vision muttered, stopping in front of his house.

- I think you are going to be without a girlfriend. - Said Y/N while removing his seatbelt.

- No, Y/n. - looked at her, terrified. - You wouldn't do this to me. Please...

you stiffened as you realized what he wanted.

- No, this will never work. Wanda and me, never!

- Please, please, please… - he begged. - For our friendship, please. - The girl rolled her dark eyes. She couldn't say no.

- Thank you. You are the best friend in the world, you know that? - she smiled. he didn't need words to know that that was a yes. - I knew it. - She replied with a frown.

- Don't worry, everything will be fine, no one will notice! You know me as well as I know you. And in a month's time everything will be back to normal. And it will be as if nothing happened.

- hope so. Because I won't be able to spend more than an hour with your girlfriend. - she got out of the car, huffing.

- Ah, Vision," she called before the car started. - Take care of my body.

- tell you the same! - smiled and started the car.

(...)

Y/n couldn't believe how Vision could sleep in that pigsty. That room was a complete mess, not taking away the dust. Underpants and pieces of pizza from the last century under the bed, dirty socks on top of the closet. If she opened the closet, she would have the misfortune of a bundle of messy clothes hitting her. There was no way she could sleep there. Not in that mess. So she grabbed some cleaning products, gloves, and some bags she had found in the kitchen. She put on the gloves, covered her nose with a nose clip, and got to work! In an hour, she managed to leave the place spotless, smelling of roses and everything else.

- Gee, what happened here?

pepper came home from work early as she had promised in the note she left earlier. She went up to her son's room and found the place unrecognizable, completely amazed.

- Nothing... I just cleaned up a little. - She couldn't help smiling at the stunned woman.

- I can't believe it! Look at this desk, it's still here. - She joked, running her hand over the previously invisible piece of furniture, lost among piles of dirty clothes. Y/n laughed.

- Everything is perfect. You should keep your room like this more often. she looked inside the closet, which now held all the clothes neatly folded and organized.

- Are you hungry?

- As a matter of fact I am, sir... - she remembered. - Mom.

She couldn't help but scowl at for calling another woman his mother.

- You must be, even after that masterpiece you made. - She smiled and stroked her hair. - I'll get dinner ready! - She kissed her son on the forehead and went down to the kitchen.

Dinner followed quietly. Y/n called her all the time: Mom, pass me the salt. How was your day today, Mom? I'll help you with the dishes, Mom. Mom, Mom, Mom. There were so many mothers for one night, which surprised the woman. After dinner, she went up to her room, when an uncontrollable urge to pee hit her. She had gone the whole day without going to the bathroom, and she was even more surprised that she could stand it. She had to go to the bathroom, but she was afraid, terrified. It bothered her. She decided to call Vision.

- Vision... I need to go to the bathroom. - I said in a broken voice, squeezing my legs together so as not to do it in my pants.

- What?

He couldn't hear straight. He was lying on Y/n's bed entertained by the television on, after being showered with questions about where he was and kisses by scott, who was the most protective. hope had also been worried and asked if he had eaten properly, since he had left without coffee. The boy was enjoying this concern. His mother was not one to ask, after all he always came home earlier than she did. She only came home late or even the next morning after overtime and shifts. What he really liked was that he was welcomed home. Until yesterday he had no father, but today he had scott. Even if only temporary. Can you believe it?

- I need to... go... to... the... bathroom.

- Ah... That's it. Hurry up!

- How come? I don't want to see or touch what you have down there!

- Um... Y/n, don't get hysterical but... It's just that I've already gone to the bathroom. - Answered cautiously scratching the back of his neck afraid of the other's reaction.

- HOW IS IT?

Flashback on

- It's hot as hell. - The blond muttered opening the bedroom windows. - After a day like this, all this craziness, impossible for me to sleep without a good shower...

He spoke agonized to himself, sitting on the bed with his head resting on the headboard.

- I don't know why Y/n is making all this fuss, at some point or another it's going to have to happen. Come on, it's a month! Besides, she probably doesn't have much different from the girls in PlayBoy magazine...

He tried to convince himself that this wouldn't be wrong.

He got out of bed and went to the bathroom in his room. He slowly took off his clothes. He took off his underwear and didn't want to look at it out of respect for Y/n. It was also strange, he felt as if he had been 'caped'. He removed his bra, but he couldn't help but stare, it was comical. The next thing he knew he was playing with his provisional breasts under the shower, innocently. he let out a silly laugh every time he squeezed them. It was strange and new, but funny.

Then he played as if they were guns, squeezing them as if he were pulling the trigger and making shooting sounds with he mouth. The bath followed at the same comic pace. he lathered up he long hair, and also lathered up the pink nipples of he breasts. And the strangeness passed. After he finished, he put on some baggy clothes and left the room.

Flashback off

- Come on, don't get mad. We wouldn't go a whole month without going to the bathroom. Besides, you're just my friend, there's nothing to be ashamed of.

- Wouldn't it have killed you to at least call me? - squeezed her eyes shut, embarrassed. - Like I'm doing now?

- Okay. I'm sorry... - he pauses. - But then, aren't you going to use the bathroom? Or would you rather do it in your pants? - he couldn't help but laugh imagining the situation, it was all so insane! The only thing he could come up with was laughter.

- What do I do? - she pulled down pants and underwear already inside the bathroom and put cell phone on the sink on speakerphone.

- It's not that hard. But just one thing, you're not hard, are you? It's really annoying to pee like this, it hurts.

- I'm what?!

- Nothing... Just hold it and aim somewhere inside the pot. And be careful not to...

- Damn, Vision, I pissed myself! It's like a fucking jet hose and it's soft! - Y/n shouted from the call side, as she couldn't hit the toilet very well and was shaking the 'thing' terrified, wetting all her pants and the toilet lid together.

Vision burst into outrageous laughter without restraint imagining the scene.

- Stop laughing! How do you control it, my God?!

- Be careful not to wet your pants. - He added amidst his laughter. - Wait, did you get wet already? - exploded with another laugh.

- I don't know why you're so funny. Damn it! - she said, frustrated, finishing as best she could. Now she had to take a shower, she took off her wet blouse and pants, getting into the shower right away.

Y/n was showering hurriedly while mumbling things that Vision couldn't understand very well because of the noise of the shower water. But he couldn't help but laugh at the situation.

- Vision, I'm going to hang up now, I need to rest. It had been a busy day. - she curled up in towel without looking down.

- You are right... - you heard the little sigh in the call. - This was only the first of thirty days. I'll do the same, tomorrow is a long day and you still have to apologize to Wanda. She was quite... angry today.

- I what? - she asked incredulously.- Good night, Y/n!

(...)

- Come on, she's over there. going to apologize.

Vision said with his voice cut off by the effort he was making, trying at all costs to push Y/n, whose feet were stuck to the floor, to get her closer to the redhead who was putting something away in her own closet.

- I said no! - she exclaimed, watching Wanda's movements.

- You promised you were going to be nicer to my girlfriend. - Y/n looked at him with irony and he gave up trying to push her. It was useless, he didn't have enough strength in that small body.

- I didn't promise anything!

- Okay... You didn't promise... But you agreed that you would try to be nice to her, at least until everything was back to normal. - Y/n grumbled grumpily, - Come on, Y/n... I'll stay here from a distance to see if you don't make any mistakes. - He tried to push her again.

- Okay, okay, I'm coming! But know that you'll owe me for the rest of your life. - whispered as he walked away.

- Whatever you want, darling. - He smiled watching her approach his girlfriend.

- Wanda... - murmured almost voicelessly, making the redhead close her closet tightly and look at him afterwards.

- I wanted to... - She looked up at Vision who was standing behind them a short distance away, who was encouraging her with signs and gestures for her to continue. Wanda arched her eyebrows in confusion and Y/n looked at her again. - I wanted to apologize for yesterday.

- I was really very angry with you. I don't know what made you make a childish joke like that. That's what happens when you live with bad people.

- Don't put Y/n into it...

- Especially Y/n. You end up picking up on her weirdness. - Y/n looked at her somberly. - I told you she is not good company. - she continued with his criticism without noticing the other's hard stare.

- Enough about Y/n, okay? - I said dryly trying to change the subject before I lost control of hanging that girl in the middle of so many people. - Is everything ok?

Wanda agreed positively and slung her purse over her shoulder.

- Then... - took a deep breath and asked slowly: - excuse me?

She was impatient. But she tried to be as subtle as possible. Because what she really wanted was to tear the other's hair out, to beat her until she saw the blood flowing. Come on, Y/n was not violent, she was completely against violence. But she just didn't like Wanda and her criticism.

- You are excused, little bear. - she smiled, putting his tongue between his teeth in a childish way. - But don't make that kind of joke again. It's not funny. - said sharply, kissing the boy's cheek and interlacing her hand with his.

When she wasn't looking, Y/n tried to run his hand over his newly kissed cheek, wiping it clean.

- Little bear? - she questioned to herself in a thread of voice without realizing the contact she was holding, which was now the warm hand of the redhead, who was subtly pulling her toward the classroom.

Wanda didn't hear his questioning, as she was busy on her cell phone. Y/n didn't understand anything. She was embarrassed by that simple touch, which somehow made her calm down in the same instant. Vision watched everything from afar and smiled. Happy assuming that everything had gone well.

(...)

- Good Morning. I received a letter in the mail today and folks... - Mrs. Miller began a little uncertain.

With everyone in the room, Y/n and Wanda were sitting side by side in the front row and Peter in the second row behind Y/n.

- We already knew that we would face Hayfield at regionals and it looks like this year we will also face Cleverford University. - Miller was blunt in spilling the news and clearly saw natasha snort.

- But they beat us last year. - nat commented despondently as her fingers restlessly fiddled with the bottom of her dress.

- It seems that the council has assigned a theme to the regionals this year and part of our points will depend on a good interpretation by you... - He opened a card that remained in his hands the whole time for you to see.

- Hymn... Now who of you can tell me what an Hymn is?

Clint raised his hand before fixing his glasses on his face. - The bottom of a lady's pants?

- Close... but no. Hymn is an epic song, surrounded by emotion, that somehow seems bigger than itself. Even bigger than the person who performs it. So I have the perfect song for the regionals, which will be... - She made suspense while Cassie played the drums in the same way. - My Chemical Romance!

- But, Ms. Miller. - Y/n raised his hand. - Even though I like My Chemical Romance and I think we were great in this number, as leader of the group and arbiter of all that is good enough... - At that moment everyone turned their heads toward the voice. Their eyes widened, confused, shocked. Y/n totally forgot that he was in his friend's body, and as he always did, he had to give his opinion. What caused the most astonishment in the group was that Y/n was never silent in meetings and she was at that moment, completely still and silent. Not totally, her body was still, and who was imposing was Vision who never paid attention to anything Mrs. Miller said and was always oblivious to the subjects.

- I must say that I don't think this song is good enough for regionals. We can't just do any song, we must be crafty, epic. We need an indisputable advantage. We must write our own song.

still continued didn't notice the stares of others.

- Y/n, what have you done with Vision? - Sam stared dumbfounded at Vision, who looked distraught.

- Man... You're talking like the weirdo now. - Bucky muttered in amazement next to the boy.

- I-I-I just assumed what Y/n would say. - tried to dissemble without fumbling after she realized the situation....

- That's it..... That's exactly what I was going to say. You took the words right out of my mouth, Vision. - He punched the air pretending to agree to help the girl. Everyone kept looking at the two without understanding anything.

- Okay... Then let's take a vote. - Miller spoke up. - Raise your hands if you are in favor of doing an original song...

Y/n was the first to raise her arm, followed by vision who supported her.

- Chemical romance? - Everyone consequently raised their arms, except wanda who didn't speak up at any time.

Miller closed the subject exactly when the bell rang to end the class. wanda was really confused, as was everyone else in the choir, by vision's attitude, she was beginning to be sure that it was from spending so much time with Y/n, that he was already starting to act like her. But she decided not to comment on it, she didn't want to blame him again, she didn't want to argue with him about her. Y/n left the room snorting with anger. even when I am not in my body Ms. Miller tries to ruin my life. I thought.

- Vision.

Y/n slowly closed his eyes.

- Oh no... No... Not again. Get off, tick. - She whispered to herself before the girl approached.

- teddy bear, tonight I really want to go to the amusement park.

- And what does that have to do with me?

- What? - She had listened very well but gave him a chance to change what he had said.

- And what can I do about it? - she smiled, falsely.

- You can come by my place at seven... be on time. - she smiled and gave her a quick soft kiss close to her mouth, then left and went on to his practice without waiting for an answer.

If the touch of the hands was awkward, the kiss close to the mouth was a thousand times more so. She was disconnected and embarrassed. She stood still for a while still processing what had happened and blushed hard still feeling the soft touch of the warm lips on her, close to her mouth. And this time, Y/n didn't run her hand over to wipe it off.

- But... - You're back to your normal state. - Wait, Maximoff, I didn't say yes. - It was late because the girl had already gone. - Damn that redheaded barbie.

- Hey... What's up? Why are you cursing the wind? - joked vision.

- I am actually cursing your girlfriend.

- She wants to go to the amusement park tonight. -said incredulously as if this were the most supernatural thing in the world.

- What's wrong with that? As far as I know you love amusement parks, right?

- Of course I do. Who doesn't like amusement parks?

- Me. - He answered even though he knew it was a rhetorical question.

- I don't like your girlfriend.

- you have to promise me that you won't treat wanda badly in any way today. You'll be nice to her, won't you? please.

Raising his hand for her to shake, y/n made sure to leave him in a vacuum.

she rolled his eyes. - I'll do it for you, but I remind you that YOU owe me one. You can't make any more demands. - she smiled cynically.

- Yes, I owe you one, but I don't necessarily have to pay you now. It could be in a month, a year, two... - he smiled victoriously.

- I hate you, you know? - Vision laughed.

(...)

- Twin one, apologize to twin two. - he asked, playing angry. He was lying on the bed and playing with his new "toys".

- But... But he started it, he thinks he's a little bigger than me. - He personified one of the breasts by squeezing it while producing a thin voice as if he was receiving the answer.

- I... - He started to produce a thin voice again when he was interrupted by y/n who had just arrived at his parents' house and was entering the room.

- What are you doing? - She asked slowly, cautiously, looking at her friend who was squeezing with his hand one of the breasts that had been her.

- I-I-I... Nothing! - he exclaimed with a startled gasp, quickly removing her hand from her breast.

- You are so weird," she said, raising an eyebrow at the scene her had seen.

- And you... what are you doing here? - He tried to change the subject.

- Nothing... I just came to tell you that I'm going out with Wanda. - said dryly and vision smiled.

- behave yourself. - He said holding back his laughter, enjoying his best friend's torture.

- I can't promise," she laughed in her reply, and vision rolled her eyes.

He quickly got up and hugged her, trying to pass on confidence even though his body was smaller than hers.

(...)

At seven o'clock sharp Y/n was in front of wanda's house. Not because she had asked him to, but because it was a routine custom and habit to be on time. He rang the bell and soon the door was open. The redhead was wearing tight jeans that made her large butt visible, and a blouse above her navel with a jacket over her shoulder in case it was cold. Her shoulder-length hair fell perfectly into her back.

The walk had been made in silence, some music resounded on the radio. Wanda sang along with her and swayed her body with her tongue between her teeth. y/n glanced at her and almost smiled. Almost half an hour later they arrived at their destination.

- So... - You started out uncertain. You were embarrassed to be holding Wanda's hand. The girl, on the other hand, was looking everywhere in the crowded park, looking delighted as she decided which toy to go on first.

- Look, Mama, the ugly monster. - A little girl pointed to one of the big posters that stood next to the castle of horrors.

- Are you going to let? - You asked with a wicked smile, not being able to avoid missing the joke, even though you regretted it seconds later.

- Leave what?

- No... Nothing! - she sighed relieved that she hadn't heard. After running around almost the entire park, Wanda decided to go shoot the ducklings.

- That's not funny... I can't hit one! - she grumbled, missing all three shots without knocking down any of the ducks.

- My turn... - wanda smiled and took the toy gun from y/n's hand, aimed and fired, hitting a moving duck.

- I don't believe it. How did you do that? - She widened her eyes in disbelief, making Wanda laugh. - You hit the little one!

- To the winner. - Said the toy's owner, nicely handing over a small pink teddy bear as a prize.

- A teddy bear for my teddy bear. - she smiled sweetly, again putting her tongue between her teeth that y/n was already finding adorable.

- Are you going to give it to me? - she asked spontaneously, a little embarrassed by the girl's gesture. - But you won...

- It's yours. - she came closer and kissed the corner of her lips, still looking into her eyes.

you truly smiled that night.

- So you will be called Blue. - I spoke in a gentle voice, looking down at the bear and playing with its paw.

- Blue? - she laughed in amusement. - But he's pink.

- I know. That's why it's fun, right? - she answered without taking his eyes off the little bear.

Wanda smiled again, but in a different way this time. She looked at Vision for a few seconds and saw him run his hand over his head between his hair and his eyebrows flattened. She wondered why he didn't have that mannerism. But she didn't care much.

- Now Mr. Bigous will have a new friend, won't you Blue?

- Mr. Bigous? - Smile all the time.

- Yes, my little bear. I've had it since I was eleven. It was the last one my father gave me as a present, before he bought me sanitary pads. - she said on automatic and wanda choked on her soda.

- What? Your father? Absorbents? What do you mean? - she blurted out, wide-eyed.

- What? - she looked at her confused.

- What do you mean "what"? You said you had had this bear since you were eleven, before your father bought you sanitary pads. - You widened your eyes and moved your mouth without making a sound. Damn it, Y/n! You mentally beat yourself up.

- Did I say that? - She dissimulated by playing crazy.

- said.

- Strange... Hey, have you ever seen Titanic? - she abruptly changed the subject.

- Not really. - she found the exchange strange. - I always saw some parts of it on TV but never actually watched it.

- Me neither! Look, cotton candy! I'll buy it for us, wait! - she said, desperate to make Wanda forget what she had said. She returned soon after with two large cotton candy balls.

- I bought a yellow one, her favorite color. - she smiled crookedly, feeling sorry for himself for having remembered that little detail, she wanted to give something back for the teddy bear.

- Thank you... But I don't eat sweets or anything like that. - She replied half embarrassed that he bought it to please her and she couldn't eat it.

- What do you mean you don't eat sweets? Are you allergic? Are you diabetic?

- No. - she answered, laughing at all the questions. - I have never eaten.

- NEVER? - y/n made a face in complete horror and wanda had to laugh.

- So you've never eaten cotton candy? I don't believe it... What unknown planet are you from? - She asked, amazed, and Wanda was amused by this, because even the aliens must eat this on their planet.

- Severe diet. - she shrugged.

- Well, today you're going to get off this crazy diet. You have to try the cotton candy, I swear you won't regret it. - she offered it to her now, smiling.

wanda thought for a few seconds whether or not to try it. And y/n must have read her mind.

- You will never know if you like it unless you try it...

wanda smiled and decided to eat. Just for today, it wouldn't hurt, she already ate so many banana desserts hidden from her mother. She never realized, nor did her nutritionist or all those people who wanted to tell her how to live.

- It's okay. - she put a little mound in her mouth and after a few seconds her eyes widened. - How incredible! It melts in your mouth... It's like... - She smiled, stuffing more cotton candy in her mouth. - Huumm... like magic!

y/n couldn't help a laugh, which wanda found enjoyable to hear.

- Do you believe in magic...? In elves, angels, something like that? - She put her hands in her pants pockets as she smiled relaxedly walking through the park with Wanda by her side.

- No... Not leprechauns. - She answered, amused by the cotton candy as a child.

- Angels, yes?

- It would be very nice to believe that somewhere there is someone watching over you and taking care of you, don't you think? - She put another mound of cotton candy in her mouth and looked him in the eye.

- Yes.. - she returned her intense gaze, now with a half-smile, tender, sincere. Maybe Wanda wasn't so bad. Maybe deep down, deep down, she was a good person. Just maybe...

- vision, my cotton candy ran out. - She replied in a low voice sad that it was over and he quickly gave her his, still amazed that she had eaten it so fast. wanda smiled and devoured the candy again.

- Colorful gum... If you liked the cotton candy you will love this too. - y/n commented as soon as wanda had finished the second candy. she bought and handed her a small bag of gum.

- This is very good... How come I've never tasted it? - she asked herself, fascinated, while chewing her gum.

- Show me your tongue. - she asked amused.

wanda stuck out her tongue, making an amused face.

- It's green.

- Show me yours now.

- I won't show my tongue.

- It's not fair! I showed you mine. - she pouted in a sad face with his arms crossed.

- Come on, show me...

- No. - She laughed at the other's reaction. wanda punched her arm.

- Ouch, Wands!

- SHOW ME!

- No.

- Yes.

- No.

- No.

- Yes.

- It fell in the game. Ha! I won. Show me now. - Punched his arm again, this time weaker.

- I can't believe fell for this stupid game. - she surrendered to the girl's insistence and showed his tongue.

- It's blue. - She smiled mischievously and y/n looked at her strangely. - Good. Now let's put our colors together.

y/n took a step backwards almost tripping over a rock when she felt the other girl's hands pulling her by the back of her neck. wanda flattened her eyebrows, confused by such an attitude.

- Look! Car-battles! Let's go? - she didn't wait for an answer and pulled the girl's hand to the toy line.

- I drive.

(...)

- You can see everything from up here. - murmured y/n looking at the shining city. They were now on the Ferris wheel after riding on almost all the rides and eating more candy from wanda. The chair of the two had made that typical stop at the highest point of the wheel. Vision would probably have a fit, after all he was scared to death of heights.

- It's true... It's beautiful. - She looked at the sky flooded with stars and it hit her in a strange way, reminding her of y/n and its crazy metaphors.

She laughed, shaking her head, and looked at the boy next to her.

- To be even more beautiful now only one thing is missing... - She smiled holding her boyfriend's face.

y/n realized the intention and literally petrified, clenching his hands on the iron bar. she closed his eyes tightly feeling the girl's nose caress his and the warm breath join with his trembling one. There was no escape, they were meters from the ground. she waited for the next movement but nothing came. she opened his eyes and saw the girl's pale face.

- Vision... I think I'm going to be sick. - She put her hands to her mouth. After so many turns and so much sugar, she began to feel her stomach turn, her hands were sweating cold.

Y/n shouted as much as she could promptly asking the conductor to make them get off the toy.

- Have some water. - She offered carefully with a mineral water in hand, handing it to the redhead who was already sitting on a bench. - I shouldn't have given you so much candy.

- I am already better. - Really? - Wanda nodded with a half-smile.

- Anyway it's still eight o'clock, let's go on some more toys and then we'll leave.

The girl nodded and stood up, paying in the boy's hand to go to the house of horrors.

(...)

The return trip, unlike the outward one, was more relaxed. They talked about the night, laughed and sang to the sound of the Pixies. Wanda's favorite band. You would never admit it, but you had enjoyed the evening. Although your concept of Wanda hadn't changed much, no arguments, no insults. Vision could be right. maximoff could really be a nice person.

- Rest and don't eat anything sweet anymore. You might feel sick again and we don't want your mother to find out, right? - she murmured, amused but worried at the same time.

- You too, Teddy Bear. - She said goodbye with a little kiss on the cheek. And before she left the car, she received an unexpected kiss on her forehead.

[justxrandomxlivia]

Southern Horns - Simon "Ghost" Riley x fem!Reader

gif by daniel-bruehl

Summary: You are a southern states First Sergeant working for the UN. For years you chased a criminal mastermind all around the globe, until he finally appeard to be in England, where you have to work with the SAS together. But a certain, very hot Lieutenant makes it hard for you to breath.

Warnings: Mention of criminal stuff. TW! - Blood/wounds. But overall fluff with light smut at the end ;)

Word count: 4549

AN: (Masterlist) My first time writing Ghost. I wrote the second half about three times new, because i did not like the flow. And somehow the ending happened to be smut :D Forgive me. For the scottish accent and the southern drawl i used two very amazing translators. I'm going to post the links at the end. Anyway, have fun and let me know if you like me to continue the story ^^ - Livana

“Ma’am, we are landing in 5 mins.” A young U.S. marine was kind to let me know. Working for five months with the Marines was clearly difficult, but I managed to survive. We did some good cleaning with the UN near Africa. Freeing the ocean from drug export and import, human trafficking and arms smuggling. But I’m really happy to return home, where temperatures are not made by devil and trying to kill me day after day.

After getting my promotion to First Sergeant, I signed the contract with UN. Now I’m travelling the globe and have to get along with soldiers from all over the world. It’s not so easy as a female U.S. Army Sergant, but despite all those stereotypical comments, I make the best out of it.

But now I will only focus on my six weeks vacation before I’ll return to Africa. As I look out of the plane I feel how we are slowly descending. Something I never can get used to. “yawl comin' downtown with us?” I look behind me as one of my partners asked the front row the regular question, like everytime when we come home. I smile at him and shake my head. “Naw, i need tuh git sum sleep. Hav fun.“

Usually, I would join them. But not today. As I answered I realized how tired I really was. Born in raised in Georgia, I had big issues in my early years in the army. If I couldn’t speak clean, I was not allowed to speak at all. I practised day and night to ‘speak normal.’ Now I just end up in my accent when I’m too tired or when I want to mess with others.

After we landed, I grabbed my bag and got out of the plane. Now taking a one-way trip home. Straight to bed. Hm, almost straight to bed. First I need to take a shower, put my stuff in the laundry and get something to eat. Maybe I’m watching some Desperate Housewives while eating dinner. Should I just order something.

Completely stuck in my thoughts I didn’t heard someone calling for me, I just realised at the moment this someone was stopping me in my tracks as they grabbed my shoulder. I almost jump out my skin, before I saw who it was. “Captain?” I was shocked and disappointed to see my captain here. He only appears when someone gets a new job aboard. “Sir, how can I help you?” I asked. Hoping he just stopped by to tell me ‘Good job’ or something. But that was more a dream than a possible outcome.

He looked at me as if he was sorry. But same time angry. “Sergant l/n. Do you remember Christoph Johnson?” He asked with a stern face. Immediately a bad feeling grew inside me. I let out a long sigh, “Yes sir. The bastard we lost in Mexico last year. He disappeared since then. Don’t tell me he is back on track?” I took a deep breath, preparing for the answer. My Captain turned around an started walking towards hangar four. Then he spoke: “Yes sergeant. He seems to be back. We tracked him down to England. We connected him with nuclear missile smuggle. SAS will be collaborating with us.” Then he stopped. I could not even ask or say anything as he continued. “You trip starts in 10 minutes. You can sleep on board if the flight is not too bumpy.” With this he pointed to the small transport aircraft in hangar four. Then he started walking away, leaving me alone.

Great. Six weeks vacation yeah. I don’t even bother to ask why me. It is obvious. I worked from the beginning of my time in the army to get a hand on Johnson. I worked with so many different branches in the last 5 years, but he was always a step ahead. Hearing that he smuggles nuclear weapons now, is not a good sign. I guess I will work as assistant for SAS. After those years hunting that bastard, I would say, I know the most about him. Even the FBI offered me a job 2 years ago. But I’d rather fight for people of the whole world.

As I make my way to the aircraft, I can feel how my body get’s heavier. I need to take some rest while we are in the air. A friendly Lieutenant greets me and tells me that they’ll drop me off in England where I’ll get picked up by an SAS Sergeant. Short after I placed myself at a window seat, I hear the engines running. The plane takes off and we made it to cruising altitude. Now it’s time to rest. I closed my eyes and fell right away asleep. After a few hours and bad dreams, I woke up as I felt how we were descending. A few minutes later the plane came to a stop. Taking my bag once more, I said good bye to the Lieutenant and left the plane. Just as I made myself a little bit away from the plane, it turned it’s engines on and took off once more. I was standing now completely alone on a open airfield. There was not even a building in the near, no ground control and only few landing zone lights. Do I have hallucinations, or does it smell like rain. Please don’t- ah. “Great.” I mumbled.

Just as I thought about, it began slowly to rain. “Pick up please? Anywhere?” begging to a higher force, as the rain just got heavier. Approximately 10 minutes passed as I saw a big van coming my way. Most of my clothes were drenched already. “Six weeks vacation. Thanks for nothings.” I mumbled once more. I was mad, so mad that I didn’t even planned to speak properly. They’ll get my full force of the south.

The Van came to a stop in front of me. A man with a mohawk stepped out of the car and smiled at me as if the sun just rose. “Ma’am, Sergeant l/n? Mah names Sergeant MacTavish.” He holds his hand out and I took it. He’s Scottish, I guess? “Sergeant, call may y/n playze.” As I spoke he looked at me a little confused, but then smiled even bigger. “Then ye ca' me Soap.” He replied. Now it was me who looked a little confused. “Call sign?” I asked. He only nodded. Then he turned to the van and told me to hop on. As we drove off the airfield, he apologised. “A'm sorry ye hud tae hauld yer horses in th' smirr. Th' message that th' plane lands earlier didnae reached us richt awa'.”

“Sir, with all due respect, Ah didn't understand uh word.” I told him, hoping he will not be mad. And he wasn’t, the opposite, he laughed loud and was so kind to repeat it in English. “I said, I'm sorry you had to wait in the rain. The message that the plane lands earlier didn't reached us right away. Don’t bother to tell me when you don’t understand anything. I love to mess with people that way. Lt. is my biggest fan.” The last sentence was with sarcasm packed.

I giggled at him. “Thought Ahm thonly wun who luvs tuh piss uh paypul with thur accent.“ I giggled once more as he looked at me as if I spoke Japanese. Then he laughed. “So you thought, you are the only one who loves to piss of people, with your accent? Is this southern?” He asked as we turned towards a military base. I smiled and said plain, “Yes, Ahm frum georgia. Ah can spake english as wayul, but i'm too tired. Gist came back frum africa.“ I didn’t even tried to speak properly. To tired, too mad, too anti everything. I just want Food and rest. He stopped the car and spoke to me once more before leaving the car. “Do nae speak to Lt. lik' that. He'll murder ye.” With this he laughed and left the car. I quickly followed him into a smaller building.

Inside, Soap showed me the kitchen, bathrooms and my bedroom. “If ye'r hungry, we bought some things ye might lik'. Wrote yer name oan it. Git some rest, we'll hae briefing at 8 am.” With this he left me alone in my bedroom. First I’ll take the shower, then grab some food and then, sleep! It’s already 1:00 am. I should hurry.

In less than 30 minutes I got all done and laid in bed. The food was okey, they bought some Texas styled rice with vegetables. I had better, but still better than military bag ratios. Not even five minutes passed, as I entered dreamland.

As my alarm ripped me out of my dream at 7:30 am, I felt how tired my body still was. Slowly rising from the bed, I stretched and got myself ready. Quickly, because I didn’t want to miss breakfast or be to late for the briefing. It supposed to get cold outside, so I threw another jacket on, heading now towards the kitchen. Few people were there. Some were eating, some only chatting and some were drinking something steamy. But it didn’t smell like coffee. I guess nobody here drinks coffee.

“Good mornin' y/n. How was yer rest?” Soap greeted me from a small table near the door. “Oh hey Soap, haven’t seen you there.” I said to him a little bit still tired but I was able to pull myself together. He suddenly looked at me confused. “Na! Where is yer cool accent? We need it to piss off Lt.” he said as he puffed out his cheeks in frustration. I could only laugh. He really wanted to use me against his Lieutenant? I ignored his act of mischief and returned with a question to him. “yawl hav coffee?“ soap was clearly happy about that, he pointed to the place next to him, where was set a cup, a pack of instant coffee, sugar and milk. “This is heaven.” I said and sat next to him, the rest 10 minutes I was having breakfast with soap and a good chat about God knows what.

„We gotta go.“ Soap said, placing the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. I did the same and followed him out of the building, across the yard into a bigger building. I followed him into a meeting room, where were a couple of people already waiting. A man with a beard came to me, he held out his hand and said: „Sergeant l/n, it’s good to have you here ma‘am. I’m captain Price.“ I shook his hand and smiled. „Captain, please call me y/n. I’d like to say it’s nice to be here, but looking at the circumstances, it’s not the best reason to meet.“ he laughed a bit. The rest of the team seemed amused itself.

But the atmosphere crashed as I heard a low, light raspy voice speaking behind me. „Wow, you must be are a real fucking hit.“ i turned around and my blood froze when I looked into almost dead glaring eyes, hidden behind a skull mask. Soap tapped me on the shoulder and laughed. „Ey ya, Lt. how was you rest. Did ya sleep well? This is ma freish mukker. Ye'll loue her.“ soap pushed me forward to the creepy man, it felt like he’s using me a human shield. Soap what the hell! I thought. The eyes of the Man grew even more dark. „Speak English MacTavish.“ he growled.

I get it. It is the Lt. Soap talked about. The one he loves to piss of with his Scottish. Then soap, tapped on my shoulder again. „Yo y/n. Don’t want to greet the lt. properly. In your native slang please.“ he giggled like a little devil brat. I frowned as I looked back at soap: „Absolutely not. He looks like he can kill me with only his eyes. I don’t want to die just yet!“ I hissed at Soap. The lieutenant chuckled in amusement. „Smart girl I’d say. You should listen to her Johnny.“ with this he closed the door behind him and leaned against the wall. Soap just huffed and leaned next to the Lt. then he signed me to place myself next to him, as I did, a women entered the room. „I’m sorry for being late.“ she said, while greeting the captain. „No problem, Kate. Can we begin?“ he replied casually. I like them already. The captain and the team seem friendly, soap and I seem to get well along already and the lieutenant is probably not as bad as i think. We will see. As the women named Kate set up different things at the white board, she looked at me. I guess it’s my time to shine. She smiled and walked towards me; I did the same out of respect. “Ma’am, Sergeant l/n. I’m Laswell, keeping everything here together.” I shook her hand and replied. “Ma’am, call me y/n. It’s a pleasure to help out.” She smiled and pointed at the whiteboard. “Would you please let the team know what we need to know. I’m sure not all information has reached me just yet.” With me following her, the meeting began.

After 45 minutes, the briefing was eventually over. The plan was clear. Talk to contacts, find out the locations of the missile, get them covered and find Johnson.

“This time I’ll get that Bastard“ i swore beneath my breath as we packed the trucks. I was just done with my stuff as I looked to the right, there was Soap and the lieutenant, standing and staring. „Is there a problem?“ I asked. The lieutenant shook his head slowly, but soap had a concerned look on his face. „Tell y/n, your thing is personal with Johnson isn’t it?“ he asked calmly but a bit worried. Now it was me who shook the head. „Nah.“ I said briefly. Then I turned to Gaz, „Do we need more refills over there?“ I asked. Hoping he would give me something to do, so I can avoid more question from soap. I don’t want to talk about Johnson. Too much has happened. Too much, what makes the hunt personal. But it’s nothing they should matter about. After I helped Gaz with few more tasks, Price came to us. „Ready to go?“ he asked and Gaz nodded on response. He’s a quite type hm. But seems sympathetic. We got In the truck and I sat next to soap. On the opposite side was the lieutenant sitting. First I thought nothing, but after while, I realised that he was staring at me. The whole time. If he spaced out? I looked at soap and ask with my gesture what’s wrong with LT. Soap started giggling like a little girl. Then he tapped me on the shoulder again. „See, y/n. If you try hard enough, you two might get a hang on telepathy. Let me know when it worked.“ he laughed. But the lieutenant looked away. He’s weird. Maybe he tried to read my mind. After a few more minutes we arrived at an old factory. According to contacts, we would here find a group of crooks who know more about Johnson.

Jumping out of the truck, the lieutenant and I were supposed to get in from the back doors. We made our way around the factory park. Gun aimed, approaching the doors. There were two doors and two seperate hallways. We split up and would meet again after around 100 meters. „Stay on radio.“ the lieutenant said to me before I entered the building. „Yes sir.“ I answered.

As I made my way through the hallway, I could barely see clear through my night vision. After a few more steps I received a radio call from the skull masked man. „What’s your status?“ - „all clear, sir.“ I responded while heading forward. Short after, I heard a clicking and decided to check. „This is not a horror game“ I whispered to myself. As I approached the clicking, I become more tense. Now kneeling i tried to see if there was anything hiding behind the water tanks. A mouse. It was just a little mouse. I giggled quietly and rose to my feet again. „I found a very dangerous animal behind the water tanks.“ I said over radio. „A mouse?“ the lieutenant asked. „Yes“ I answered giggling. He didn’t respond. What a joy killer.

I checked the rest of the area before heading to the reconnection to meet the lieutenant and receive new orders. So far, I didn’t met any of the possible contacts. Just as I was about to turn the corner I received a radio call: “sight on any targets?” The lieutenant asked. “Nothing sir. Just dust and trash - ah. Oh shit.” Just as I made my last steps to the meeting zone, I felt a sharp pain in my leg. Looking down on it, I saw blood. My pants are already turning red. It must be a deep cut. I leaned against the wall, took some scissors out of my bag pack and started cutting my pants. “Y/n. Come in! What’s the matter?“ Lt. Asked over radio. I must stop the bleeding. Quickly. “Sir, not sure what happened, but I’m bleeding out.” I responded quickly and focused on my wounds. Starting to apply a pressure bandage, I heard footsteps coming closer. “Lt. Is that you?” I whispered. I was not ready for fighting right now. But I didn’t get any response either, so instead of biding the bandage properly around my leg, i just tied it once to apply a little pressure. It won’t last long but with that I was moveable with my knife in one hand as I hid behind a pillar. The footsteps came closer and it got heavier to breath for me. I lost already a lot of blood, If I don’t get medical attention to the wound, I could pass out.

“Y/n? You know I can see you behind the pillar?” The familiar low, light raspy voice spoke behind me. “Did you just call me fat?” I protested as I put my knife away. The lieutenant came to me, he kneeled and took a flashlight out. Then he picked a bandage out of his bag and started applying a pressure bandage. “Sir, I can do that myself. No assistance required.” I spoke quickly, trying to get him back on his feet. It made me feel a little uneasy to see a big guy with a skull mask squatting down in front of me. He didn’t say anything, just applied the bandage, then he stood up again. Looking in my eyes he shook his head slowly. “How’d you do that?” He asked not looking away once. I think he is trying to read my mind again. “I.. uh.. I honestly don’t know. I’ve seen few wire traps already, but I took them all down.” I picked up my bag pack to break the eye contact, but when I looked back at him, he frowned. “Guess not all.” He said. “It’s a clean cut. Wire cut.” He continued. “Can you walk? Back to the truck. Your mission ends here.” His voice changed the tone, sentence by sentence. Now he sounded worried. I shook my head to focus on his question again. “Uh yes sir. I can.” With those words, I started walking to the back doors, but the more steps I took, the bigger grew the pain and more slowly moved time. I think I’m fainting slowly. I had to stop, holding against the wall for support. My head hurts, my body started shaking and my ears began drumming.

The lieutenant stood next to me, I looked at him and said calmly. “No worries. Just a second.” I took another deep breath, but he suddenly pushed me with my back against the wall and kneeled backwards down in front of me. “I don’t think so.” He said as he grabbed my hands and pulled me on his back. As he walked a little bent over, so I don’t fall off, my mind was spinning more and more. "What a waste of time." I mumbled beneath my breath. The lieutenant chuckled light, "Better a waste of time, than a waste of life." he said. "True. Still, I'm sorry sir. I-" he cut me off. “Quit that sir shit. It’s ghost.“ he said harshly. I took a breath to answer something as we left the building but he stopped abruptly. „You know what. Call me Simon.“ his voice was not more than a whisper. Does he mean that for real. Soap told me only a few chosen people are allowed to call him by his last name and even less people are allowed to call him by his first name. I felt honoured and smiled. „Thank you Simon.“ with those words, I felt how my heartbeat fasten my ears were ringing louder. Simon was saying something like. „don’t tell anyone or -„ but I couldn’t hear more. I passed out.

„God, my head.“ I muttered with incredible pain. Slowly sitting up, I realise that I was in my bed at the base. Ah yes. I passed out. I remember. I tried to get up from bed, still a little dizzy I had to sit down once again. Taking a deep breath, I stood up and got dressed properly. Making my way out of my room down the hallway. Nobody is in the kitchen, of course, I looked at the clock and saw It’s 3 am. We were at the factory at 12 pm. I was gone for quite some time. I let out a sigh and checked the fridge. I’m only a little hungry. Hm. There is a chocolate pudding with my name on it. I took it and sat down at a small table. Soaked in my thoughts I ate the pudding. It was so silent, the only thing I heard was the clock ticking and the fridge humming.

„I Hope that’s not my pudding“ jumping out of my skin as I heard the low voice whispering directly in my ear. „Holy shit!“ I Yelled, spinning around to face ghost. „Are you trying to kill me lieutenant!“ I yelled at him. He chuckled. „I will kill you if you eat my pudding.“ he poked me at the forehead. „And I told you, it’s ghost.“ he spoke, then he only mumbled „or Simon.“ looking away from me. I couldn’t help it but giggled. "okey, Simon. Why are you still up anyway?" I asked him, he almost jumped as I said his name, but finally looked back at me. He cleared his throat and said "I just came to check on you." somehow I did not really believe that he wanted to check on me. I mean, it's 3 am. He pointed at the pudding and asked with a serious voice: "So, do you have a death wish?" I laughed and shook my head. "Nope. This is mine. I would not touch your stuff. Simon." As I said his name again, this time slower, he suddenly looked away again. Then he cleared his throat and left the kitchen. "Good night." he said and disappeared. What was that…

Hm. I was still thinking about him as I walked back to my room. My leg still hurts but I can walk normally already. As I got ready for the night, someone knocked at my door. It can only be Ghost, right? I walked to the door and open it. There he was, Ghost – in a tight shirt. God damn, is that man hot. His muscles were showing through the fabric. One arm covered in ink, casually in his pocket, as with the other he was leaning against the door frame. I had no idea what to say. All I wanted, was to touch him. I know I should not think that. But it doesn’t hurt anyone if it’s only in my head.

I’m getting more and more hot, in all regions of my body. That urge to touch him is growing stronger. My words are stuck, my heartbeat and my breathing gets faster. He says nothing. He just stands there, looking at me. How does he looks beneath his mask? I want to know how he looks without any kind of fabric. Anywhere. I took a deep breath, I had to stop and ask what he wants. “Simon?” I asked. It was more a whispering than an actual tone. He just stands there, burning my skin with his piercing eyes. Then he let go of the door frame and moved closer to me. I stood my ground. Not moving, not thinking. Just admiring his beautiful eyes, his strong body, his intense personality.

As his face is just a few millimetres away from mine, I can hear and feel him breathing through the mask. It’s heavy and even more hot than my burning body. Biting my lip in ache of the situation, he chuckled quietly. Then he lifted his hand and took my chin. Raising my head so I can’t look away. His lips are right there, right in front of mine. If he would not have that mask on, I would have lost control already and kiss him. Then he said in a deep aching voice. “Close your eyes. Do not peak.” I didn’t even think about anything, just did as he told me. As everything was dark, all that’s left where my senses of hearing, smelling and feeling. His breath is heavy, he smells so good, and his hand feels so hot holding my chin. Then, his lips met mine. No fabric, just pure soft lips. He kissed me carefully, as I returned the kiss, he kissed me harder. One hand grabbed my waist, and he pulled me closer. One hand of me was holding at his shoulder, the other his neck. He was burning, but so was me.

We kissed more, with his tongue he asked for permission, and I granted it. With our tongues dancing, by body began to get weak and my mind was already completely gone. I was filled with ecstasy. With burning desire, to have more of him. He lifted my shirt lightly and began to stroke my back with his hot hand. As ghost pulled me even more close I knew what I wanted. Slowly I walked backwards, pulling him with me.

Then suddenly he let go of me. As I opened my eyes, he was gone. I looked at left and right and saw him just turning the corner. He was gone.

Still breathing heavy. I closed the door and sit on my bed. Now my mind was completely gone. What the hell. I felt heartbroken, disappointed, and angry. He said nothing. He just left. How rude. I sat on my bed, trying to clear my thoughts. Naw mah friend. Yawl made may mad now. Yawl mess with thuh saowthern girl, yawl’ll git thuh horns. I said to myself. Then I got ready for the night, hopping into bed, I was all back to business again. Ready for being professional, and ‘forgetting’ anything that just happened between us.

Alright, I hope you enjoyed it ^^ Let me know if you want me to continue the story.

If you need a scottish translator or a southern drawl translator, here you go:

Scottish / Southern

[padfootdaredmetoo]

Hi 👋🏻 @evita-shelby here

If your requests are open can i request lunch dates on busy days with my favorite poor little meow meow, Tommy Shelby?

Hey Love,

Hope you enjoy! Thank you for writing in and for waiting forever. Happy Holidays!

This is winter/Christmas themed and it's not quite a lunch date, I hope it's alright.

Warning: Peaky-related themes and violence. Some dude gets murdered.

Winter had hit the Shelby house in full force. Thomas had cooked some drama, on top of the kids catching an awful cold from school, and the snow had created a sizeable isolating barrier around Arrow House. 

It was your favorite time of the year, and yet the family felt distant and pulled apart over whatever was weighing on Thomas. After a whole week and a half of sick children laying on you, and barely seeing your husband you were on edge. 

Not coming home or calling ahead to tell you he wasn't coming home was what pushed you over the edge. You went to bed angry and woke up sad, again. 

You felt invisible and neglected. You’d shouted, thrown plates, and threatened, but you were tired. When was the last time he made you feel seen or special? He was probably busy fucking someone else. You were always told it would only be a matter of time. 

You took a deep breath, today you needed a break. 

You still put on your best outfit and make-up. Esme showed up at the door just as you were putting your coat on. 

“Oi, where you going off to?” She asked.

“Can you watch the kids for a bit?” She looked into your eyes and could probably see the insanity that was being carefully pushed down. 

“Make sure one of those slaps is from me, eh?”

“Sure thing.” You laughed and wished it sounded more cheerful. 

“Careful out there, love.” You gave her a hug and set out to London. 

The drive wasn’t bad, and soon enough you were exactly where you wanted to be. At your favorite restaurant about to eat the best breakfast in the world. The waitress sat you at a booth by the window and you looked over the small diner. Lots of people went about their business, looking stressed and overwhelmed as they drank their tea and coffee. 

You ordered the same thing you had been ordering since you were in your early twenties, suddenly thinking over where all the time had gone. Things with Thomas were great when they were good, and horrible when they were bad. 

Was he really seeing someone else? Why would he be away when John and Arthur are with their wives at night? You frowned and took another sip of tea, wishing the hot liquid would thaw out your heart. 

You ate breakfast savoring every bite, as you finished your favorite dessert was placed on the table. You thanked the waitress but just before your first bite got to your lips. Gunfire erupted in the street. Looking out the window, based on the placement of a man laying on the pavement he’d wanted to shoot you. Men in suits began to handle the situation just as you realized your man in a suit was staring back at you through the glass. He smoked a cigarette, getting himself under control.

He quickly moved into the diner the little bell chiming above his head. His dark manor contrasted wildly against the warm Christmas decor of the restaurant. He quickly took a seat at your table. You probably should have had a bigger reaction, but at this point, it was just a regular Friday morning. 

His eyes were angry. You quickly started to compile your evidence against him, not caring if it happened in public. 

He’d stood you up for too many dates in a row on top of everything else that had happened in the past few months. You picked up your fork determined to enjoy the dessert in front of you despite your twisting stomach. 

The waitress came over with shaking hands. 

“Can I get you anything sir?” She asked just above a whisper. You looked from your plate knowing this would force his hand a little bit as to how this was going to shake down. 

“Number three, no toast.” He said cooly. “Tea.” 

“Please,” you said giving him a look. The poor girl nodded and then scurried back to the kitchen. 

You looked out the window to assess the scene in front of you. There was no evidence of what happened, not that anyone was planning to call the cops. Everyone knew Thomas and Alfie. 

“That the man that was ruining my Christmas?” You asked absently. 

“Yes.” 

“Hmmm, I’ll assume this means you’ll be coming home then.” 

“Suppose so.” He clenched his jaw and you felt like slapping him. 

“Great. Kids will be happy.” 

“And you?” 

“What about me?” Nothing was ever about me. 

“Are you happy?” His eyes were wild but you couldn't place why. Because you’d accidentally put yourself in danger? Or something else?

“Just say what you mean please, don't ruin my breakfast.” You said sharply.

“You almost ruined my life a moment ago-” 

“Oh was he your secret lover then? About to kill me in a jealous rage?” You said flatly but slightly louder than you thought was acceptable for a restaurant. You both locked gazes angrily, your untouched body adding more complicated tension to the situation than you could handle. The restaurant was starting to fade away, maybe if he was exceptionally good to you to might be able to forgive him for a few moments. 

The waitress placed two fresh cups of tea on the table moving away before you could thank her. 

“That man almost killed you - ”

“Ah ah - you never said not to come to London.” You interrupted before you could feel the impact of his words. You getting hurt would have ruined his life. 

“Don't be like that. The whole family hasn't been able to leave Birmingham for weeks. -” 

“I know I’ve been alone with sick kids and no phone calls from a worried husband.” You crossed your arms feeling childish tears prickle at the corner of your eyes. 

“I’m not the brightest man, but I’m not stupid enough to cheat on you.” He said in a low voice that put an end to the back-and-forth banter. 

“You -” 

“Cheated on Grace, eh? Yeah well, she was cheating on me. It was different.” He interrupted the softest hint of a smile on his lips. 

“Why’s that funny.” 

“This is a right bit different than things with Grace, no?” He pointed his finger between the two of you. 

You thought about what people had said went down between him and Grace. A wild romance of fire and passion, till she died. With you, things were heated at times but not something Shakesphere would have written a play about. 

You tried to be a good wife and above everything a good mother. You were dependable, and you did dangerous things for the family. You would do almost anything to sit next to him. You thought about all the layers you’d stacked up in comparison between you and her. Right down to the nightgowns you wore to bed. 

She pushed him around and all you wanted was the simplicity of following a strong man. Well, when he was being reasonable. 

A plate of food was placed in front of him and he started to eat waiting for your response. 

“What are you thinking?” He asked eventually. 

“About how different we are.” 

“That’s why we make a good team.” He said easily making you want to smile slightly. 

“No, me and her.” 

“John told me that I had two choices. Keep being miserable and choosing people that wanted to destroy everything I build up. Or I could find someone good at building.” 

“So I’m practical.” You huffed wondering how the conversation got to this topic. He placed some money on the table and you were relieved to see he’d left her a sizable tip.

He got up from the table and held his arm out to you. Despite all the feelings you took comfort in his tight embrace. He drove you home with a hand placed possessively on your thigh. 

Once home you saw the kids outside playing in what was left of the snow. 

“Esme’s probably in the kitchen.” He didn't respond. Only steering you up the stairs. His grip was tight and you enjoyed the way it encompassed you. 

You sat on the edge of the bed and realized that this was probably when the proper fighting would start. 

“So what am I going to have to do to prove it to you?” He asked darkly and suddenly your body went haywire. 

“You’ll be home for the rest of the holidays?” You asked breathlessly as his eyes ran over you. 

“Yes.” He promised before devouring you.

The rest of the winter he did his best to spoil you. It wasn't in conventional ways, but you felt loved.

Soon you both became regulars again at your favorite diner.

[novelcain]

OKAY! So when I was about 10/13 years old my mom took me to get a check up.. perfectly normal right? What could possibly go wrong.. oh yeah I was also there to get my shots.. I hate getting shots, always have always will.. it’s the syringe needles!! the fact that I know they have to be hollow enough for stuff to go in and out of the inside of those things is just wrong to me.. 😟 Anyway me and my Mom get there and everything SEEMS to be alright.. until the doctor comes back and says I have to get EVERY! SINGLE! SHOT! SINCE BIRTH!! OVER AGAIN!!!

Ya wanna know why??? BECAUSE THEY LOST ALL MY MEDICAL RECORDS!! ALL OF THEM!! 😡

Like okay yeah, shit happens I guess..

But.. my colorful, sugary sour Overlord.. They didn’t lose literally ALL my medical records once.. NOT twice!! NO no no no… BUT THREE FUCKING TIMES!!! In.. a.. row.. 😑 And all in the same Year.. I shit you not. 😤

Sssoooo yeah, I’m a bit traumatized and HATE going to the Doctor.. 😰

SO! 2020!! Covid shows up and I have to get a vaccine shot.. my Mom bless her heart comes with me, and I have to fill out the form… I spent an embarrassingly long time trying to write down my date of birth..

I was shaking so bad and ended up handing the paper & pen over to my Mom… Because I couldn’t remember which way the number 3 faced.. I was having a freaking mini panic attack.. at 21 🥲

I also had a panic attack & nearly fainted when I had to get my molars removed and the nurse showed up with the iv bag.. and I finally realized I was getting the syringe not the gas.. hadn’t panicked the whole time till that poor lady strolled in.. I think I scared her a lil when I started hyperventilating and asking my mom, wh-what what? What??? But it turned out okay!! That incident happened when I was about 18 I think..

🎃~

BRUH i know what you mean with the hating needles thing! I have had nothing but bad experiences with them. Like when I was younger I'd have to get allergy shots every week so I already HATED shots bc of that but then one day this super old bitch gave me my shot and literally stuck me so hard that the needle scraped my fucking bone! My bicep hurt for a whole month I couldn't do anything!

And then this one time I was in middle school and I had to get my blood drawn for testing, and some info about me I have always had very thick skin, and the nurse tried to use a butterfly needle but when she tried putting it in the damn thing broke against my skin! Anyways, everyone panicked for a hot sec and now it's in my file somewhere that they have to use big needles on me now! LIKE THE FUCK!?!?🤬🤬🤬

Ugh! If I sat here and told you all my needle stories we'd be here all day.

But my gods, how they gonna lose your damn records THREE FUCKIN TIMES!!!??? It's called a fuckin computer system you numb skulls! If it's really that hard to input the data yourselves then ffs just scan a pic of the records and save that!

Me: On behalf of my fruity heh subject, Skittle's gonna sue! *sprinkes dark matter on them bitches*

But fr tho same with the covid thing. In order to get my second vaccine I had to be drugged before going, and I STILL had a panic attack the whole time, not cause of my fear of needles tho. I mean it was a little bit because of the needles but mainly because of the agoraphobia. I think that was really the first instance of me being unable to function alone in public. I had to have Ritz and her mom there to talk for me and fill out the paper work cause I couldn't. I was shaking, I couldn't communicate outside of nodding to Ritz, and I couldn't even look at anyone other than Ritz. There were a few times I almost passed out inside of the clinic waiting room. I'm pretty sure now that I think about it that that was the last time I was out in public at all and that was almost 2 years ago. Definitely was NOT a good motivator to make me do it again lol. Sorry this is low key embarrassing for me to talk about and I honestly spent 30 minutes just deleting this and rewriting it over and over again before deciding to keep it

[afleetingmuse]

Hi everyone!

To fix a duel ended problem I'm having as a DM, I've made a thing! Lol

The Flaw:

Sometimes if I have a/any new player(s) who wants to try D&D but finds it intimidated or overwhelming. Traditionally, I have a one on one character creation session or a group game 0. All pretty standard stuff and while I don't mind doing this, it can be very time consuming. Especially if I have new players that are just doing a one shot(the ending always has flexibility to morph into a campaign).

The Background:

The last one shot I did was for a my best friend, her husband, her brother and his girlfriend. But because the four of them lived in another city and I was only visiting for a few days I asked them if they'd like to pick their race, class, and background, and I'll fillout their character sheets for them so we can just go over some smaller details and jump right into the game. They all agreed but while I was filling things out and choosing some basic and versatile spells. I realized I'd still have to go over background features, racial abilities or all the things they would have on hand. So I handmade little cards that explained things like dark vision ect. I then went to the dollar store and bought some of those plastic card holders that go in binders. Set it up for them, so that all I had to do was hand them a few of these sheets and everything they needed was easy to read and straight forward(luckily for me others on Reddit had blank spell cards which was a real time saver).

My players loved it, and after a quick explanation of the basic of dice rolling and where to find information they needed we hopped into the game. It was great but very time consuming on my end for a one shot.

The Inspiration:

I have another one shot coming up in a few months and while my sister lives in town(Hi Sister, I technically haven't asked you yet if you wanted to play but Cousin's Husband is really excited) , my cousin and her husband live out of town. So when I showed up to work early today I couldn't find my new campaign notes on my Google Docs. I didn't want to try and remember what I had already wrote down so I started thinking about making some blank cards that I could fill out the information and get started on all the behind the scenes work. When I had the idea to make a printable sheet so that I'll never have to handwrite it out again. It took a few tries to get a basic look that I liked. What would be easiest to print out and not waste paper ect.

The Idea(Couldn't think of another character sheet reference that would work):

And I have this first draft to show for it. Basically I made a few of these sheets in Excel the top three rows are all the same, since they are the three most common Kits. Then the forth row has a different Kit on each page.

I wanted a space where they could erase and change the amount of what they have, like ball-bearings, rope, string, pitons and rations. If they ever get broken, lost, used or cut. Then I added how much the flat rate of price so you wouldn't have to look it up if you wanted to sell it. Finally I added a spot for a base weight incase you ever want to play a game where your strict on your carrying capacity but left it blank so again if something was to happen to your gear you can change it.

I know this has probably been done before I didn't think to look before I got started but regardless tada! Feel free to ask any questions or tell me what you think.

(I also posted this on Reddit, but figured I'd share it here too)

[gatheringbones]

["G: Have you always been monogamous? And is that what you want?

B: Yeah. At one time it was not what I wanted and that was a conflict.

G: Has she gone through the same kind of thinking or has it been mostly you?

B: She's gone through that kind of thinking as far as I'm concerned, but her view is I'm the most important thing and she doesn't need anybody else. But, as well as I understand it, she doesn't have the needs that I do as far as having other people around.

G: How important has sex been in your relationship?

B: At various stages very important and not important at all. At the beginning it wasn't important at all, and then it became important and it became very important.

G: Why has that changed?

B: I don't know, I think because we were both really discovering having sex with somebody we loved, and that was a totally new thing. It was like finding a brand new toy to play with, it became a very important thing. It took a while because she was so uptight. She had been with a woman that had really messed her up as far as sex goes. It took her a long time to relax. She got dumped before because she didn't respond properly, and so she was real uptight, and it took a long time before she would trust me that sex wasn't the most important thing and I wasn't going to dump her if she didn't give ABC responses or if she wasn't aggressive with me. It took a long time for her to relax into that and it took me a long time to realize that it wasn't because I was such a lousy lover, it was because she wasn't ready yet, you know.

G: So you felt guilty?

B: Oh yes. It took time to grow out of that. Our caring was on an emotional level, but we were very physically attracted to one another. We just couldn't carry it through. Once we worked some of that out, oh wow! Now it's important, but it never was the most important thing.

G: Do you have any kind of pattern about how often you make love?

B: No, not at all. We both have the strong feeling that unless we're both in the mood, we're not going to do it. Sometimes it's very inconvenient, because it sometimes takes a while before you happen to both hit it. But you can work it out. Because one person can decide, um, wow, and can convince the other person. We do that, we play games like that. We know we're playing games. It's not a necessary thing, but we do that.

G: Like seducing each other?

B: Yeah, right, and we've occasionally played the thing of I'm going to rape you, and yet we have signals, it's a game. We do that. We went through this thing of having sex about six times a day— oh that was bad.

G: Why?

B: Because that's all we were doing.

G: When was that?

B: Oh, last fall. It was maybe six or seven months into the relationship and it just happened. We didn't even realize it was happening. The second day we thought, 'my goodness, we've sure had sex a lot.' I mean it was breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I'd come home right from work and we would have sex, and I'd rush back to work and I'd come home to, you know. And then after that we might go a couple of weeks without having sex, and not even notice it, not realize it. Still, there's no real pattern. Sometimes we have sex two to three nights in a row and then not at all for a long time. We try different things, because we like different things sexually, we discovered that.

G: You told me earlier that you looked at each other's genitals and that was a part of discovering things. Could you explain?

B: Okay. I like people to be very very gentle with me, and when I was first having sex with women I was very gentle with them. I just figured that was the way it was supposed to be— and they would be so rough with me that it would hurt, it would bring me totally back to reality. And Lianne, we were pretty open about what we do sexually, I was always pretty gentle with her. One of the things I found out is that my clitoris is totally exposed and she has a hood on hers, and that makes a difference. My inner lips are almost non-existent. We're just made differently. I'm just so sensitive because it's just right there, and if I get turned on it gets erect, and you just barely touch it, and that's all. Even when hers gets erect, it just barely peeks out from under the hood.

G: Did discovering those physical things help in the way you make love to each other?

B: It really did. I learned new techniques. Also my clitoris is very high, and she was able to realize that. We just changed a lot of techniques, and it made a lot of difference."]

Barbara, from The New Lesbians: Interviews With Women Across the U.S. and Canada, edited by Laurel Galana and Gina Covina, Moon Books, 1977

[metfell]

okay here's a tumblr version of the fic i just posted to ao3. it's wilbur being revived:

13 years. 

It had been 13 years of sitting in that fucking station. If it had just been something temporary, maybe a few days, that would have been one thing. It was just a train station afterall, albeit with a bit of a weird color palette. People come and go from train stations all the time, it wasn’t like it was some evil promethean torture, having his liver torn out only for it to heal; a constant graphic agony.

But with nowhere else to go, nothing to do, and not another sign of life for years, Wilbur Soot was losing his mind. 

He probably already had lost it by the end of the first week. He thought this was just the waiting point for the first couple days. Then he began begging into the smoke for someone to save him for the first two years. Entered a rage at year three that lasted another four years. Curled up in a ball of resignation at year ten. 

And it was year 13.

Wilbur stood up. He hadn’t done that in… probably a week? He was barely keeping track at that point. But he stood up, on shaky legs still wearing the same shoes he had worn the day he died. Sometimes he would get bored, take off his shoes, and throw them across to the other side of the station. He would wake up the next “day” with them back on his feet. After a bit he started doing that with the rest of his clothes. It didn’t matter. He would sit there and pick at the fibers of his shirt until he tore a hole in it, only for it to close up again next he woke up.

Less promethean and more sisyphean, the fact that nothing was ever changing was the problem.

He thought a lot about what he would’ve worn the day he died, if he had planned it better. Maybe something that didn’t have black fucking skinny jeans. Or sneakers. Or a long coat- though he liked the coat. There wasn’t any temperature in the station, but the coat provided a heavy weight that he would sometimes pretend was another person. 

But he stood up. He stood up because there was a noise. 

Wilbur wasn’t used to noises in the station. He only had white noise, or maybe his voice. He gave up on talking though by year five. Once in year 8 he had tried to talk again, and it took him a day just to say “hello.” He didn’t like how the hello sounded, though. It didn’t sound like him. It was too quiet. So a noise was different; it was new.

He stumbled towards the tracks, and peeked down into the depths of the tunnel. It was inky black, train tracks disappearing back into void. Wilbur had tried running down them once, back in the first month. He had stood up, hopped down onto the tracks, and started running. He appeared back at the other end of the station. 

So he wasn’t expecting anything to be at the end of it. 

But there was a light.

There was a light. Wilbur’s eyes widened for the first time since year one.

He crumpled down onto the tracks when a low rumbling shook the floor, his legs too weak from sitting for so long to be able to support him. 

The light and rumbling grew closer, and down there on the tracks, Wilbur realized he was scared. He felt scared. Feeling anything was strange to him, and it was scary, and the fact that it was scary was euphoric.

But there was still a train barreling towards him. And Wilbur didn’t want to know what happened to people who died a second time in Limbo.

He scrambled to get to his feet, gripping the edge of the platform, and heaving himself up onto it. Wilbur laid there, feeling the ground underneath him tremble, and he smiled.

The train pulled in, steam mixing with the smoke of the station and curling up into clouds like a thunderstorm overhead. The red lights of its interior beaming out onto the tile floors and walls, almost like some sort of creature staring him down. That’s what it felt like. Something strange, a UFO arriving to abduct him. 

He turned behind him to look at the station wall, watched the red lights move slowly and steadily in row and then stop like soldiers marching, and saw his shadow. It broke up the even line of red streaks, his form strange and frustrating to him but so interesting as it disturbed the uniformity of the lights. It moved with him when he raised his arms and legs, and he held up a hand and made a little shadow puppet in it. He hadn’t seen a shadow in 13 years. 

The train’s doors slid open. 

Wilbur had no idea what to expect, but he clambered onto the train as fast as he could despite it all. He didn’t fucking care. The air was different in the train, it was less stagnant. It felt like he was actually breathing. Maybe he was. 

His breath was sucked out from him though when he locked eyes with the ghost of himself standing next to him in the train car. He wasn’t saying anything, just crying; his tears thick and ultramarine blue as they fell onto the metal floor. Wilbur just stared at him, and the ghost stared back. After what felt like eternity- or maybe only a second, the ghost stepped out of the train, and onto the platform, its tears dripping after it. A realization came to him at that moment. If his ghost was entering the station…. then surely that meant he would be taking his place… in the world of the living. He was going home.

He continued to stare out the doors at his ghost, and it gave a little wave and a very small smile. Wilbur found himself waving back despite himself. He wanted to talk- had so many things to say, so much to ask- but still his voice wouldn’t find him. And as the train whistle blew, and the doors slid shut, Wilbur watched as the ghost’s legs gave out beneath it, and it slipped down to the tile floor, where he had been for 13 years. He almost felt bad. Almost. But he was going back- he was going back.

He was going back.

Feeling the train begin to move, he stumbled into a seat, and watched out the windows into the pitch black void. Wilbur fully expected to be sent back into the station, a quick roundabout trip much like when he ran down the tracks. 

But he didn’t end up back at the station.

Instead, he braced himself as the train picked up speed. He felt his heart start to hammer in his chest- or was that a normal heartbeat? He gripped the pole in front of him and stared at his hands. They glowed red in the light of the train, like he was covered in blood. Maybe he was bleeding. He couldn’t bleed in Limbo, he figured that out within the first week.

And as the train continued, the colors shifted away from the searing red into a light cool gray. Like morning, he thought to himself. His whole body started to hurt. 

Hurt. His body hurt. He was feeling something.

But his body hurt a lot, he realized, and he looked down at his hands again. The left one was still red, but the lights had changed. It wasn’t red in the cabin. He realized again that it was blood. He was bleeding. He was bleeding on his left arm. He turned, craning his neck to see the blood seeping through his brown coat, and he sat there mesmerized by it. 

The train whistle blew again, and the car began to rattle like airplane turbulence. He gripped the pole tighter, the blood from his arm drying and making his hand stick to the metal. He felt everything get faster and faster, and just when he was about to fall out of his seat, when it became too much for him-

Wilbur sat up.

Looking down, he saw his hands pressed into the gravel of a destroyed stone room. He dug his fingers into it, feeling the stones poke and jab at his hands, the blood from his arm pooling down and mixing into the rocks. He spent a good minute just feeling the ground before finally pushing himself up. Standing, he stared perplexed at the shrine next to him. Peering down at it, he saw a chest labeled “For Wilbur”, and a L’manberg flag hung in the center. Was it a grave… for him?

It was his grave. He was standing next to his own grave. A strange, inhuman sound petered up through his body, and though he knew it was a surprised laugh, it sounded like a sickly child’s wheeze.

But despite the blissful levels of joy at breathing in air into his lungs, and feeling the ground beneath him shift- he wasn’t used to uneven ground, not with the perfectly flat tile of the station- he was confused, terrifyingly so. 

Why was he back? Why was he brought back? It had been so long- why now? Who decided he was worthy of coming back- after everything he had done? Who deemed him worthy?

He heard blocks being mined, and after a moment Tommy met his eyes. Tommy stood there, white in his hair, thick cardigan buttoned snugly around him, pale, cold looking hands tightly gripping the lead of a blue sheep, eyes wide with what looked like pure terror, and he gasped. 

Wilbur fought for his voice to work. He had been the entire train ride- trying to get something, anything out- but he had no luck. So he forced himself, vocal chords unused and scratchy, voice quiet, and he said,

“Hello again.”

[bigboysfalldeep]

After using the same old body for nearly three months now, I decided to look for a new one. And there he was, a handsome soldier boy on a train. I sat down a few rows in front of him and kept an eye on him, in case I got an opportunity to strike.

There it was. He closed his eyes, leaning against the window, and I knew it was my only chance. Since I was a kid, I learned how to let my consciousness leave my physical body, wandering around the near emptiness of the world around me. It got even better when I realized that taking over somebody else's body is even funnier. For me, at least.

I closed my eyes and focused on my goal. In a few minutes, I could feel my mind leaving that body. A pretty young stud with a very big dick and big arms Even though, after fucking all of his friends and many strangers, it got pretty boring. Plus, he got more and more annoying trying to get back into control. He shall have it back then; a weak body is no use for me anyway.

So I left the body, and without a second glance back, I made my way to my new host. I was hovering in front of his pretty face, running a hand through his hair, and extending his jaw to his ear. Fuck. The perfect host I moved to his back and began to infiltrate his precious body. Slowly, I hugged him from behind, my arms around his chest, wrapping him in a tight hug.

He took a deep breath, which I used to enter his body through his mouth. The soldier chocked once, coughed a few times, and opened his eyes. Unable to catch his breath, he stood up and walked to the bathroom. Inside, he drank some water, his throat sore from me sliding inside him. But I wasn't wasting any time. I invaded his consciousness, seeing him standing there. I approached him from behind and put my hand on his shoulder.

"The fuck." He flinched, looking into the mirror. Checking his eyes, his mouth, and his neck, he sighed in relief. It's time for me to strike. I easily took control of his limbs, the easiest part. I raised his hand, running his fingers along his jawline through his scruffy beard.

"Not bad for a start." I made him grin, his eyes slowly changing color. "Whos there?" He spoke, his voice shaking slightly. He knew I was with him, but he couldn't see me. Turning around, slightly panicking, he tries to get back in control, but I'm a professional.

"I am your new master." I said, using his voice, turning back to the mirror and smirking deviously. "What? I? I must be dreaming." He was unable to use his voice. "Boy. This isn't a dream." I say this seriously and run a hand through his hair and across his face, checking every angle. "Not for you, that is." I giggled.

"What are you? This is my body." He groaned, while I started to flex at my reflection. "Fuck yeah." I said, enjoying how his muscles bulged against the fabric of the uniform—so tight, so good. I got hard instantly. "Dude. STOP." He thought as I started to stroke his chest firmly before umbuttoning his camo shirt. "Why? I need to see the goods." I smirked, pulling up the shirt and taking a good look at his well-trained body.

"Oh yeah," I said, biting my lower lip. "THIS IS INSANE. STOP." He tried his best to overpower me, but there was no way I was letting that happen. "Soldier boy. We're going to have some fun." I smirked again, grabbing his cock through the uniform pants and rubbing it against the palm of his hand. "Massive. Not bad." I said, opening his trousers and letting them fall to his ankles.

"Wait. No please." He stuttered, but I didn't care. "Trust me, this is fun." I pulled his boxers down and looked at his huge meat, standing at attention, leaking slightly. Without any further ado, I started jerking off quickly and firmly, enjoying how it felt to use this fresh body. The soldier moaned, screamed, and fought back, but once I shot the first load, he was powerless.

"Don't do that, please." He begged, his voice getting silent. "It's just the beginning." I smiled, getting dressed again and leaving the restroom. I sat back down, took his stuff, and at the next stop, I would look for some fun.

[blipblooopp]

Let It Be Me

Summary: Choi San is many things. The most talented man you have ever seen. Be it on the dance floor or in front of a mic during a gig. He was the kindest person, always holding the door for the people behind him, helping the elderly carry things, even paying for strangers randomly. He got along famously with your parents and even better with your grandparents. He was charming like that, capturing the attention of anyone and everyone who even looked his way. He’s the love of your life, you’re sure of it but he’s also your best friend. Pairing: Boy Band AU!Choi San x F!Reader Words: 5.6k Genre: Angst/Smut

You’ve heard of a thing called platonic soulmates but it’s taken you years and years of watching Choi San grow to realize you weren’t. Well, you hoped you weren’t. Everything about him made your body erupt into a fire.

San looked at everything with adoration, finding all the good in life, including you. It was a double-edged sword, really. It made you feel special… important. But you could barely concentrate when his eyes were on you.

It didn’t help that he was gifted in pretty much everything; it made you nervous beyond belief. He’s pretty much perfect and as much as you wanted to be with him, you knew the odds of him liking you back were slim to none.

You’ve come to terms with it for the most part. It hurt to see him flirt with girls in front of you, hurt even worse when he started dating this awful girl named Areum. She didn’t give a fuck about him, actually. She barely responded to his calls and texts, going as far as blocking him one time. They fought nonstop. Every time you two hung out, San had a new dilemma to talk about. For some reason, San wouldn’t break up with her.

You had asked him after a night of you two getting drunk together, after another night of listening to his relationship problems. He laughed dryly, taking another sip of his beer, “I love her so much.”

Apparently, it was his “slow-motion” moment. He and his band had been wrapping up the night with their last song, soaking up every second they could have. Halfway through the song, San had noticed Areum in the front row. You were there too so you noticed the look on his face. A look you had never seen him make before. It basically tore your heart out when he told you that he couldn’t get “that beautiful girl” out of his head. She ended up becoming a dedicated face in the crowd so San asked her out.

You would’ve thought they were soulmates from the way they looked in the beginning. Lord only knows how they got to this point. How you got to this point, with San crying in your lap.

It was 10:00 pm when someone started banging on your door. You were enjoying a cup of coffee but you almost had a heart attack at that moment. You opened the door with shaking hands, hoping that whatever killer was on the side wasn’t actually a killer. Instead, you saw your best friend, with swollen red eyes, sniffling.

“Oh my god, San! You scared— what’s wrong?” You immediately dragged him in, locking the door behind you. He sniffled again as he slumped into your couch. You took a seat next to him and took his hand in yours. “Was it another fight?” You knew it wasn’t. In all the fights you had heard, San never cried.

“She was cheating on me… this whole time.” He hiccuped as he talked.

“That bitch.” You said under your breath. You held onto his hand a little tighter, trying to contain your anger.

“I went to her house tonight because she wasn’t responding to me again. I wanted to talk it out with her but she opened her front door in her underwear with some motherfucker sitting on her couch!” Although you had many words to say with Areum, you were speechless in front of San. What were you supposed to say? All you could do was scoot back on the couch and guide San's head onto a pillow in your lap.

“It’s gonna be okay.” You ran your fingers through his hair, “You can cry for as long as you want.”

And cry he did.

____

The next morning was hard. You woke up on your couch sitting up-right with a terrible case of stiff-neck. That’s not the only reason it was hard. No, it was worse seeing San still laying on your lap. He was wide-awake, dark eye bags contrasting against his face. His eyes stared deep into the ceiling.

“What’re you thinking about, Sannie?” You started to run your fingers through his hair again and watched as his eyes fluttered shut, his body instantly relaxing.

His eyes opened again, “Why didn’t she love me?” You couldn’t respond, not that he let you. “I knew we weren’t perfect, knew she wasn’t perfect… but we always made it through the end of the day. I can’t believe she would do this to me.”

“It’s her loss.” You finally said. “You don’t need her anyway. It was her decision to cheat and you had nothing to do with it.”

San didn’t say anything after that, just continued to stare at your ceiling.

___

The first few weeks were the hardest for sure. San had spent most of them at your place, barely leaving even for band practice. When he did practice with the guys he would leave early, only strumming a few chords on his guitar before deciding that it reminded him too much of Areum.

“He’s been really out of it.” Yunho, the bassist commented one time. San hadn’t even played that day. He just sat in the corner for an hour. You stayed behind for a few minutes and told San to wait in the car. You wanted to catch up with the other band members.

“Can you blame him? That bitch was… well, a bitch.” Wooyoung shot back, setting his drum sticks down.

“How has he been holding up?” Hongjoong asked.

You scoffed, “Have you seen the man? I don’t even think San’s there anymore! God, if I see her, it’s on sight!”

You did your best to help him through those weeks. You had been through a few hard breakups in the past so you understood that the early stages were the worst. You even used up all of your sick time to stay home with him. You had never seen him this gloomy. At one point, he went through five pints of ice cream in three days.

____

It took three months for San to be even remotely okay. He started going to practice more and this time, he actually played. You couldn't say you were surprised. San loved playing with the band and you knew it was probably the only thing that would bring him out of his funk.

"You look good, man!" Hongjoong slapped his hand on San's back playfully and for the first time in months, San had his usual dimpled smile.

"I feel good." He replied, setting down his guitar and taking a seat next to you on the beat-up couch. "It's thanks to you, y/n"

Your eyes widened. "Me?"

He nodded. "You stayed up with me, didn't go to work, even made me breakfast when you knew I didn't have the energy to get off your couch."

You couldn't lie; your heart was racing. All you could do was stare back into his eyes with a goofy smile painted on your face. San put his hand on your thigh, skinship being normal between you two, especially within these past months.

Your friendship remained just that, a friendship, for the next month. You were okay with this, though. At least you had a small sliver of hope now that he was single. That tiny bit of hope that he'd love you back was able to tide you over.

Until one night.

San had come over for your weekly movie nights, an event you had been doing since high school but stopped doing because his ex got jealous easily. You tried calming your nerves as you sat next to each other, his arm wrapped around you.

You were so close you could smell his cologne. It was intoxicating. Maybe it was the fact that he was newly single now, filling up your thoughts even more recently, but his entire presence was overwhelming tonight.

“You alright, beautiful?” Since San was single now, his usual playful flirty side was coming out again. Just like everything else about him, you had a love-hate relationship with it. It doesn't mean anything. You had to remind yourself. He talked like this with everyone, especially when he wanted to get a rise out of his bandmates.

You gulped when you looked up at him. How could a man have this effect on you? You would think that after years of unrequited love, you'd be able to at least contain yourself. “Yeah.”

San gave you a dimpled smile, shifting his gaze to a piece of your hair, moving it behind your ear. Your mouth parts, probably to say something but you can't be too sure right now. If someone walked in, they would think you guys are about to kiss. Maybe you are... you want to kiss him.

With your heart pounding in your ears, you slowly lean forward, keeping your eyes on his lips. They look too good not to look at but you're also scared of seeing the look in his eyes, the potential disgust that might be taking over at the thought of your lips touching his.

Everything is moving in slow motion. From your hand caressing his cheek to the moment your lips make contact. He's stiff against you and you can only imagine that it's because he's uncomfortable. You start to pull away, dreading the awkward conversation you're about to have but San is quick. His hand grips your thigh and he's kissing you back with fervor.

Your head is spinning, Is this really happening? These sparks you're feeling all over your body, does he feel the same way? You push away any thoughts you're having, trying to focus on keeping up with San. You needed to enjoy this moment. Without realizing it, you swing your leg and straddle San's lap. He groans underneath you but before you can question it, he's giving you a reassuring squeeze on your waist.

You don't want to take the initiative of going further, but man, your hands are burning to touch his bare skin. Your hands, instead, rest on his shoulders, gripping and releasing every few seconds. As if he was reading your mind, San's hands move to the hem of your shirt and for the first time, you break the kiss.

The second your shirt passes your head, San's moving to kiss your neck, occasionally sucking to leave hickies that are sure to last a whole week. You're breathless, taking this as a sign to take off San's shirt. Your hands are all over each other, San's going from your cheek to unbuttoning your jeans, your fingers feeling his abs contract under your touch.

It feels like a flash. San suddenly laying you down on your bed, both of your clothes littered behind you on the floor, his lips still on your neck. It's only when he's about to insert himself does he stop and look at you with dark eyes. He doesn't give you enough time to question it, pushing himself inside you. You both gasp at the feeling.

"Fuck, you're so tight!" He grips your hip with one hand, the other holding the headboard like his life depends on it. He feels like he'll burst any second.

You're right there with him though, the mere feelings of this moment making you sensitive. "You're just big. Holy shit!"

It takes him a second, taking a moment to give both of you a moment to adjust before he moves inside you. You can't contain the sounds coming out of you as he hits all the right spots with ease. You couldn't have pegged San to have this big of a dick, yet here he was.

Before you can realize it, your hands are finding purchase on his back and your nails are sinking into his skin. He hisses above you but his thrusts get harsher and the moaning in your ear doesn't get any quieter.

"You feel so good... so warm and tight for me." He's practically whimpering into your neck. You try to keep your cool, trying not to cum so fast but he's hitting that spot inside you with ease.

Your nails dig into him deeper, "S-san," You stutter out. "Close... so close."

"I know... but you gotta wait for me. Can you do that?" His thrusts get faster and deeper, you don't even comprehend his words properly.

"Can you do that for me, pretty girl? Be a good girl for me?" He's using both hands to clench onto the headboard now, the force making it harder to not cum. You just nod and wrap your legs around his waist. San is drilling into you with so much force and he's hoping that the bed isn't going to break. After a few more thrusts, he starts to get sloppy, and your vision's crossing.

"Alright, beautiful. Cum for me." He grunts out, trying not to cum at the feeling of you clenching around him. You finally let the waves of pleasure course through you, seeing stars. If you were lucid, you most definitely would have been embarrassed by the noises coming out of your mouth and your pussy.

With a loud sigh, San pulls out of you and releases onto your stomach. Almost immediately, he’s up and cleaning you, you’re body’s too tired to do anything but lay there. You’re surprised, because instead of leaving, San lays next to you, even going as far as pulling you close to him.

You have so much on your mind but you're too tired now.

____

This goes on for weeks. Sometimes you would hang out. Sometimes do other things. Everything happened so fast. The friendship that you held so dear had become a muddled mess of lust and confusion. You obviously still had feelings for San but you had no idea where he stood.

You'd never even talked about the first time you guys had sex. When you woke up he was gone and when you saw each other again, he acted like nothing had happened. You didn't want to be that clingy girl who expected a relationship so you never brought it up. Now you're in this endless cycle of sleeping with each other and never addressing the elephant in the room.

What didn't help was how San was acting differently. He was much more touchy with you, always having to touch you in some way whenever you were together. His hand on your thigh, holding your hand, arm around your shoulder, he did it all. Before the incident, you would have considered him touchy but that's nothing compared to him now.

Your hangouts started to become more elaborate as well. You guys were actually going out to movies instead of watching Netflix at your house. Small coffee shop hangouts started becoming intimate dinners. It was like you guys were dating. These dates gave you hope that he would eventually open up and ask you out properly but you didn't want to force it out of him. So, you just decided to go with whatever he wanted.

"Let's go ice-skating." The handsome man suggested his left-hand steering and his right hand on your thigh.

"You know I can't ice-skate." You deadpan, getting distracted by your fingers playing with his.

He glances at you with a honey-sweet smile before bringing his eyes back to the road. "I can teach you, ya know."

"Please, you just want to see me fall so you can laugh at me."

"That too."

San taught you how to ice-skate for maybe ten minutes. After that, he decided that it would be best to let you learn through trial and error.

"San, I'm literally gonna fall on my face!" You cried, your legs shaking as you attempted to walk on the ice.

"You're doing great. Just try skating to me." He held out his hand for you. Every time you got even remotely close to him, however, he would slowly start backing up. You were struggling around the rink but he made sure to sprinkle in encouragements so you wouldn't be too mad at him.

Just when you thought you were doing good, you got too cocky and propelled yourself towards San, wanting so desperately to close that gap. Your feet weren't pointed straight enough causing your left skate to hit your right, tripping you onto the ice.

"Holy shit, y/n! Are you alright?" San appears in front of you with seconds. Helping you up with ease. Your knees ache and you could feel the bruise forming on your hip.

“Did you not see me eat shit?” You bark out, now gripping his arm for dead life.

“I did but it’s always polite to ask.” You slap his arm playfully as he guides you off the ice and onto the benches. “Are you actually okay?”

You shook your head and pouted like a child. San chuckled to himself, seeing right through you. Instead of saying anything, he pecked your lips innocently and took a seat next to you. It was the first time he’s kissed you in public which only confused you further. Is he doing this on purpose? You really had to ask him.

You’re too lost in your thoughts to see San staring at you. It’s not until he’s moving a piece of hair out of your face that you’re snapped out of your thoughts. You jolt slightly and hum at him in response. He just shakes his head and returns his gaze to the people skating.

It was your turn to stare at him, to memorize his features for the nth time. He’s just as beautiful as he was two seconds ago and the butterflies are still strong. You open your mouth to question him about your relationship, finally building up the courage just when…—

“San? Is that you?” You freeze. Her, you think. That manipulative bitch.

“Areum?” San stands as if he’s been caught doing something bad like a child. She offers him a warm smile, completely disregarding you as always. You feel like you did during the concert. His eyes are no longer on you… but trained on her. You feel that distance he created on the ice growing bigger and bigger.

“What’re you doing here?” The man asks, still shocked to see her.

“Ah, I was just walking around.” The nerve of this girl to act like she didn’t do anything wrong. “What’re you doing here?” Her eyes land on you but she quickly looks back at him.

You stand this time. “We’re…” Don’t say it. Don’t be petty. Don’t say it. Don’t say it. “On a date.” You entwine your arm with San’s.

Areum’s lip twitches in annoyance. “Oh?” She quirks a brow and glances at San. “Is this true?”

San freaks out without thinking and shakes his arm from yours. “No!— I mean like a friendly date, sure. We’re just hanging out like old times.”

There’s your answer.

His ex smiles with victory at your defeated state. “Well, we should catch up, San. I know we ended things on a bad note but I think we should talk.”

The car ride home was awfully silent. Usually, they were filled with laughter and off-key singing but tonight, you gave San short answers in his poor attempt to talk. When you entered your apartment, you told him you were going to bed early and that he should lock up when he leaves.

Instead, you feel his warm body climb into your bed and hold you at 12 am. As always, you didn’t tell him to leave. Because, as always, you couldn’t say no to Choi San.

____

You wake up and San's not next to you but there is a text.

San : Sorry I didn't want to wake you but I left to go to practice. It'll probably end late today so if you feel up to it, come hang out. :)

Should you? Maybe it's just better if you pretend like nothing happened. Obviously, that's what he's doing. Besides, it’s not like his bandmates gave you false hope just to reject you in front of their ex. You end up going to the practice, a huge lump in your throat. If you brought up the situation, you're sure that whatever you guys had would be over the second you said anything.

Jongho, the lead singer, greets you with a smile and a nod in your direction as he warms up.

"y/n!" Wooyoung calls out, getting off of his drum stool and engulfing you in a hug.

You giggle on command, loving his enthusiasm. “Wooyoung, why do you always act like we haven’t seen each other for years!”

He smiles and whispers, “Don’t tell the guys I told you, but you’re like… our muse!”

You roll your eyes and pull away from his chest just to look at him, “I think you’re the only one crazy enough to even consider that.”

Wooyoung lets you go completely and returns to his drum set, you follow suit. “Maybe but you’ve been our number one supporter since day one! Plus you’re beautiful and beauty inspires art, does it not?”

Laughter erupts from you again at his cheesiness and your feel an arm wrap around your shoulder. You didn’t have to look to know who it was, the signature cologne giving him away.

“What’s so funny?” San’s smiling but you can tell there’s something different in his tone.

“Just exposing how important y/n is to the band.” Wooyoung sends you a playful wink, your cheeks burning slightly. San forces a laugh, something you don’t notice, before sitting you down on the couch.

After practice was over, you waited outside of the room for San so you could go back to your place. That wasn't the original plan but San insisted. The chilly air made you wrap your arms around yourself, internally scolding yourself over not bringing a jacket.

Wooyoung was the first to come out, fishing his lighter out of his pocket. He wasn't the only cigarette smoker in the group but he was definitely the one that smoked the most. He grinned at the sight of you, resting his hand in his pocket instead.

"Why're you waiting out here? It's cold as hell."

"Yeah... But I didn't want to get in your guys' way." You rubbed your hands up and down your arms trying to create heat. Wooyoung took off his jacket and wrapped it around you without hesitation. "A true gentleman." You remarked.

He put his hand on his chest, his face contorting to look hurt. "I've always been a gentleman. Even when I'm freezing my ass off."

Your eyes widened, ready to give the jacket back. "Woah there, missy. I gave it to you for a reason. We don't want our muse to die of hypothermia." The joke makes you laugh lightly. "You waiting on San?"

You nod, staring at the ground and rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet. “It’s been a lot of waiting recently.” You accidentally confess.

“Uh oh.” He leans against the wall. "I noticed something was different."

"What do you mean?" You hear your heartbeat through your ears and you find it hard to breathe all of a sudden.

"You guys are a lot closer... You guys are best friends, sure, but the air's been different between you two. He still doesn't notice how you look at him."

You scoff, "That obvious, huh?"

"To everyone but him, it seems. Can I be honest?" Wooyoung rolls to face you. You nod, now looking at him. "Unless you tell him how you feel, you'll be doing nothing but waiting on him."

"But our friendship-"

"If you're about to tell me that it's enough for you, so help me God, y/n, I will kick your ass." You laugh for the first time since the conversation started. You understand what you have to do. You guys have already crossed so many boundaries and clearly, he feels something for you, right?

The door to the practice room swings open and this time it's Yeosang and San. San's bright smile seems to falter as his eyes instantly land on the jacket that's wrapped around you. His eyes shift between you and the drummer then he strides to you, grabbing your wrist.

"Let's go?" You don't have time to answer. San's practically ripping the jacket off of you and throwing it at Wooyoung who barely catches it. This time, you don't miss the change in his tone. He replaces Wooyoung's jacket with his hoodie, not saying a word as he puts it on you.

Just like the night before, the tension in the car is thick but unlike last night, it's you who's trying to spark a conversation. San's knuckles are turning white as he drives and it's starting to worry you. You've never seen San this upset before and you're still trying to place the reasoning. Was it jealousy?

You pull up to the house, expecting him to follow you like he always does but he doesn't. Instead, he leaves the engine running and his eyes on the street. For some reason, this sets you off. This man had the audacity to pull away from you, act like you were just a friend in front of the ex that cheated on him, but gets jealous over you casually talking to another guy?

You scoff and unbuckle your seatbelt, stepped out of the car, and slammed the door shut. San was feeling extra temperamental tonight. He couldn't understand why he felt like this either. Maybe he was looking for a fight. He turned off the engine and followed you inside. Before you could close and lock the door, he stepped into your house.

"What is your problem?" You asked venomously.

"What is your problem?"

"I didn't have any problem until you decided to get all confusing!" You dropped your tote bag on the floor, turning to face him fully.

"I'm confusing? Are kidding me?" He huffs out, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

"Actually, I'm not. You've been driving me nuts since we started hooking up. I'm over it!" His lip twitches into a sarcastic smile. "What the fuck was that with your ex? You completely pushed me aside. She treated you like shit, remember? She cheated, she lied, and she manipulated you. Do you want to get back to-"

"You're not my girlfriend, y/n!" He cut you off. "God, it's like you don't know your place." Tears pricked your eyes but you felt more angry than sad. Angry, you've never felt this way with San before. You're experiencing a lot of firsts tonight. San immediately realizes what he said, how hurt you were. He took a step closer to you but you put up your hands, putting up your boundaries for the first time.

"No, you're right. It's not like you hold my hand wherever we go or put your hands on my waist in public. You don't smile at me sweetly during dates. We're not completely vulnerable with each other, telling each other things we'd never breathe to others. It's not like we fuck almost every day! Do friends do what we do? Please, enlighten me. What's my place?"

"I'm sorry, y/n. I shouldn't have-" You're full-on bawling now, sucking in breaths where you can.

"I can't believe I've loved you for so long. I've torn my heart out for you and you just... you just throw it back at me like it's nothing!" His mouth opens but nothing comes out, instead he wraps his arms around you. You react once you feel him, trying to fight him off but he's stronger, trying to calm you down by hugging you.

You're screaming, all the feelings you've held inside bursting out of you, "Why can't you let me in?" You start to pound on your chest even though you know you shouldn't. You don't even notice that he's crying too. "Why can't it be me for once? Let it be me!"

"I'm sorry," He coos. You couldn't hold yourself up anymore, your feelings making it hard to focus. San catches you though, guiding you to sit on the floor.

San does his best to understand what you're saying through your sobs. He wants to understand what he's feeling. He thought he was doing this to get over Areum but why was he doing all the other things? He could've just stuck to the bare minimum but he didn't. Better question, how had he not noticed your feelings?

San was so caught in his thoughts that he hadn't noticed you had cried yourself to sleep. He was holding your head to his chest and he sighed, finally relaxing a bit. He couldn't really relax though, his mind still processing what you had said. He carried you bridal style to your room and thanking God that you had exhausted yourself.

San tucked you in and, after some hard debating, decided to lay in bed with you. He made sure that he wasn't touching you even though he knew he was going to leave before you woke up. He sighed to himself.

Even as you slept you were beautiful and he beat himself up for only now noticing how exhausted you looked. The man never understood why he was so willing and ready to sleep with you. He could acknowledge that there was steaming sexual tension but he never thought it would get this far. Nevertheless, you guys were in this situation; the very foggy area between friends and more.

Is this how you felt, absolutely terrified? You guys certainly couldn't go back to being friends after everything that's happened between you two. San's body started to shake as he silently cried. He couldn't even comprehend how much pain he's put you through these last few months.

____

You're not surprised to find your bed empty the next day; you wouldn't be surprised if San had sent you a message ending your friendship and promptly blocking you. You stare at your ceiling with tears already prickling your eyes. You weren't going to check your phone for texts. You just went to work.

The day went by fast, your boss giving you plenty of work to distract yourself. You were doing just fine until you pulled up to your apartment to find Wooyoung waiting to knock on your door.

"Wooyoung?" The man turned around, almost like a deer in headlights.

"Oh- Hey!" He quickly put his hands in his jean pockets. You walked to your door silently, unlocking the front door and inviting him in.

“What can I help you with?” You try to be casual even though all you’re thinking about is San and how you know Wooyoung’s here to soothe whatever problem you guys are having.

“I’m gonna cut to the chase. Talk to San. It’s only been a day of you two fighting and all of us are tired of him sulking.”

“What are you even talking about?”

“He came into practice looking all down and he didn’t talk to any of us. He just went through practice barely saying ten words throughout the whole thing.”

"How do you know this has something to do with me?"

“… Do I look blind to you? Everyone knows something’s going on between you two.” Wooyoung sighs and runs his hands through his hair. “Look, I don’t know what happened but I’m sure it was probably his fault. I’m not saying you should forgive him right away but just talk to him. Please?”

——

So now, here you are, outside his door. You took in a deep breath before knocking hard on his door. You couldn’t muster the courage to ask if he was home but there was no practice so you hoped for the best.

The door unlocked within a few minutes. “y/n?”

“H-Hi,” You stuttered out, feeling the weight on your shoulders get heavier. “Can I come in?”

San gestures you inside and you take a seat on his couch. There’s an awkward silence when he joins you and you can’t recall any other time it’s been like this. It was so easy to talk to San before but now you can’t even form a sentence.

“So—“

“What’d—“

You said at the same time.

“You first.” San breathed.

“I just figured we had a lot to talk about.”

"Right..." He brushed off his legs with a sigh.

"I like you, San- actually, I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you for so long and we slept together and it got messy. We've never talked about what we were after that night. You just made me a rebound and I turned the other way..."

His eyes burnt into your face and you were too scared to meet them. "I'm sorry. I never meant to put you in that kind of situation. I shouldn't have been so selfish. I didn't think about the way you were feeling."

San's warm hand grabs yours. "I'm so sorry that it's taken me so long to see how you feel about me. I'm so sorry I said that you didn't know where your place was. Your place..." He takes a big deep breath, making you look at him, "Your place is right next to me. I lost you for one day and in that one day, I've realized what you really mean to me. I'm in love with you, y/n."

He places his hand on your cheek, wiping away a tear you didn't even notice. You're falling apart at his touch but you were so happy that he felt the same way and- Oh my god! Choi San was in love with you!

"You just said you were in love with me." You breathed, a smile breaking out on your lips.

"I did, didn't I?" He chuckles, closing the distance between your faces. Your breath hitches. "Are you going to give me a chance to love you for real this time?"

Your heart is going to burst and you don't really give it much thought.

"Yes."