#i have two fanfics in the works myself tho I understand motivation to write is hard

[thefandommind]

Yes exactly.

Part of Miranda having a beautiful character arc is her complete 180 in the third book. Like it's her third time trying to catch Eli, that's been the concept the last two books, and while each time something (the greater plot) goes wrong, it's the same thing three times in a row. Which is great, magic of threes, but to do it a fourth time could get boring. So it's genius for her to change her goals after the demon incidents, for her to realize by her own morals (which don't change, she's the same morally intelligent spiritualist) that her time is better spent trying to learn more about the spirit world and using that knowledge for the better then it is trying to catch Eli.

This is also a great literary decision, BECAUSE MIRANDA NEVER GETS TOLD JACK SHIT.

Every damn book people keep information from her and then she acts as she always does (charging in with only the best intentions) and then people get upset she doesn't fucking know what's happening. But they never explain it. And yet when she finds out, she adjusts and overcomes with a strength no one but herself has.

Like in the third book, Sara wants Mellinor/Miranda for her schemes, she's trying to get Eli AND Slorn. BAREST MINIMUM, Miranda is traveling with Sparrow and Tesset, who are kinda implied to have met Slorn at some point, but again are all three working under Sara who's personally known Slorn and refer to him as bear.

A MONTH OF WORKING TOGETHER NOT A DAMN ONE OF THEM TELLS MIRANDA "oh hey, the Shaper that we're trying to find, you know the one who we've explained is friends with Eli, the guy you are trying to catch and we're hoping to find in the same area? Yeah he's not a normal man, he's got a bear head."

The reason I know they didn't fucking tell her shit, is because when a man with a bear head sneaks up on her completely alert ghosthound, she acts completely reasonable and goes to attack him and also asks him who the fuck he is. Cus no one told her.

Then within like two hours of talking to him, and finally getting some creditable info, she's right back to her dedicated hero self, she's ready to help.

All of that is the perfect lead up to her change of goals with Eli and the spirits, because she's not getting anywhere with the thief and she's not getting info she needs, so because she still wants help the greater good, she has to find her own information. Which is exactly what happens in the later two books.

Like I say this all the time, the second she found out about the abuse the world was suffering under Benehimes rule, the second she was like well this gotta change.

And what I love about her character is that's the same exact attitude she has in the first book--but so completely evolved from the context and expectations of the beginning. There's no way Spiritualist Miranda Lyonette could have bound the Lord of Storms and help overthrow the Shepherdess right at book one, but she would have. It took five books for her to be able to but her core beliefs never changed.

I just love her so much, she's so intelligent and caring she's the only thing keeping the world together

I have questions about the logistics of the firebird, jade horse, and sand centipede from that one scene in Spirit Rebellion. Because why are they like that, is the spiritualist guiding them into that shape with their will? Did the spirit decide fuck it, we're a bird now, I will fly. Like a bonfire spirit being different from a typical fire, and chemical fires being their own thing, sure. But why is that fire a bird, and why is that hunk of jade a horse, and why does the sand need so many legs.

Also how old did y'all think Marion from Spirit Thief was, did y'all read her as a teen, or young woman. Cus I've seen both types of people interpreting her and Miranda's interactions as sweet female friendship, and sweet budding queers.

My Miranda is a bisexual woman kisser so I'm biased.

[ajaxwrites]

GENSHIN IMPACT FANFIC REC LIST II

(previous: part i)

Seaglass by Aevas

There was more to the contract than a gnosis and test of Liyue. It seemed like a simple deal five hundred years ago: so long as Morax never had a soulmate, the Tsaritsa would never harm Liyue and she would not get his gnosis. But the moment he gained a soulmate, all that belonged to him was forfeit. He thought the deal left Liyue safe—he'd lived thousands of years without a soulmate. The Tsaritsa would be dead and gone by the time she'd have a chance to collect.

Five hundred years later, Childe appears in Liyue, Zhongli gains a soulmate mark, and everything falls apart.

(The obligatory soulmate AU, featuring a Zhongli with PTSD, an oblivious Childe, and demon-worshipping cultists.)

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: I CANNOT BELIEVE I SLEPT ON THIS FIC FOR SO LONG. Read it and I mean it! I admitted initially steered clear of this fic because I wasn’t comforted with a soulmate tartali fic pre-Osial but this fic is actually post-Ostial *facepalm* The writing is phenomenal and Aevas does some beautiful worldbuilding that you typically don’t see in Genshin Impact fics. I love the dynamic between Childe and Zhongli here and the angst is real. The author writes the two as very human characters who makes mistakes, etc. and notably Zhongli struggles with the concept of Childe as his soulmate (who understandably is upset by the rejection when he realizes). They get better though. Also very plotty. A+ writing.

it's a hard rock life for us by reptilianraven

“Ah, no need to worry about that,” Azhdaha waves a dismissive hand. “There is no real Kun Jun. He’s dead.”

A leaf blows past and plaps onto Aether’s face.

“You killed him???” Paimon screeches.

“No,” Azhdaha scrunches his eyebrows. “He was dead when I found him.”

“And you just decided to wear his corpse?” Aether says, leaf still on his face.

He shrugs. “It was free real estate.”

“Azhdaha...” Morax says, sounding vaguely pained.

-

Or the one where Historia Antiqua Chapter II: No Mere Stone goes a little bit different and Azhdaha gets more time.

He ultimately uses that time to bully Morax into confronting his immortal neuroses, to make Aether and Paimon suffer, and to figure out how to get that ginger boy Morax has his eye on to make a move already.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe, Past Azhdaha/Zhongli

Notes: Very lighthearted, humor-filled fic. Love how Azhdaha is so flippant. Interactions with Zhongli and Childe are pure gold.

if there's a light at the end, it's just the sun in your eyes by moonlight_mist

Childe has a Weapon problem- specifically, that he can't keep one.

He's too reckless, too wild, and too keen on pushing his Weapon partners past their limits. He's just about ready to give up when he meets Zhongli, a Weapon who just might be the solution- so long as Childe can manage to keep his dick in his pants.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: This is a Soul Eater AU with some college/university AU vibes (?) but you don’t really need to know much about the anime. It’s a cute AU and I love the premise. Light angst but otherwise, it’s a pretty semi-plotty fic. Easter egg Kaeya and Diluc though.

To Kill A God by IlluminanceinTales

In Snezhnaya, they call them sansis—lost souls that have no guidance but themselves. It’s an apt description, given that most of the time, wannabe-Archons have to go through dozens of tests with nothing as their reference, relying solely on their wit and strength and hoping it would be enough. At least, until they survive the end of the whole game—and they might not have to undergo a painful reincarnation which feels like a hundred bones being stitched together again.

On his seventh game, Childe Tartaglia reincarnates this time in the body of a young man.

Damn, he thinks, looking down at his thin body, his slightly calloused fingers. This won’t be good when facing the other Hydro Decisions.

In a world where an Archon's position is not chosen but fought for in games, Childe Tartaglia is a Hydro Decision who's poised to become the next Hydro Archon. Of course, that's only if he survives his seventh reincarnation. All would be so much easier if it weren't for a certain Geo Archon interfering with every possible chance he gets.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: Think Hunger Games meet Political Intrigue meet Genshin Impact. Love the premise and world building that’s done. Features overprotective Zhongli and lots of Childe whump. Has one or two supplementary OCs that aren’t really important outside of plot device reasons. Warning for character death tho lmao.

Three's a Family by IlluminanceinTales

Childe finds a kid that looks just like him.

Of course Zhongli wants to keep him.

Or: How a harbinger and an archon accidentally become fathers. The kid is their wingman

Ships: Childe/Zhongli (?)

Notes: Your everyday cute AF kid fic. Fluffy as hell and super cute. Zhongli and Childe get domestic pretty quickly. Xiao gets dubbed a grandfather and begrudgingly plays along. Super wholesome.

in pitch dark i go walking in your landscape by snowbrigade

He glanced down at him, at the silvery scars peeking out from beneath his robe, and at his eyes, properly now. They were the bright blue of high quality noctilucous jade, but he could see it, an underlying darkness.

Zhongli wondered what his eyes betrayed about himself. --

Rex Lapis is dead. Zhongli, formerly known as triad leader Rex Lapis, is a detective investigating his own "death." Childe, also known as Tartaglia of the Fatui mafia, is undercover as an escort looking to kill Rex Lapis- until someone beats him to it, and he wants to know who. Goals intersecting, they form a partnership of ulterior motives.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: There’s like one scene that skews NSFW but otherwise surprisingly not explicit. Really fun AU. Like how the author addresses Childe’s reaction to being stuck with the undercover escort stuff and how the dynamic between the two develops. Pretty plotty so far.

Phantom Lines by iskendaris

“It’s a measure of one’s self, Mr Zhongli.” Childe says. “Maybe you don’t understand it since you work as a consultant, but as an ambassador from the Tsaritsa, as one who fights in her name— this is how I learn to know the measure of myself.” “I understand,” Zhongli says thoughtfully. “It is a warrior’s way, to test one’s strength against the incomparable. To find where one falls short. To find where one has risen to the challenge.”

In which Childe has insomnia, vandalizes public property and runs into a mysterious funeral consultant on his first night in Liyue.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: THE FEELS. I can only describe this as the fic where Zhongli pays Best Boyfriend Ever only to FUCK UP big time (via Gnosis deception). Poor, poor Childe. Look, he gave the boy feelings and then broke him. You can really feel Childe fall in love in this love. He also does mental swooning a lot lmao. 

adventitious by Anonymous

It's said the Ley Lines remember all things that happen in this world, from the surface down to the deepest depths... But in the hidden corners where the Gods' gaze does not fall, there are those who dream of dreaming.

There's a dormant bud where Kaeya's eye once was. One day, it will bloom. (Never forget: memory is untrustworthy.)

Ships: Diluc/Kaeya

Notes: I don’t even know where to start. This is very headcanony and lore-focused. Very much concentrated on Khaenri'ah. The implications of this story is grotesque to say the least (according to this fic, Visions are the literal eyes of the people of Khaenri'ah). Warnings for eye and body horror.

Without Those Dark Memories by StrangeDiamond

Diluc awakens in Stormterror’s Lair with no memories of the past five years. Kaeya is on the trail of a rogue alchemist, with a habit of testing his chemicals on unwilling human subjects. Now, in addition to capturing the criminal, Kaeya has to shake him down for an antidote . . . and deal with an amnesiac Diluc who acts exactly like he did before their brotherhood fell apart. (Standalone Fic.)

Ships: Diluc/Kaeya

Notes: This is sort of a classic amnesia fic. I particularly really liked the way that Kaeya was written in this. I feel like the author did a really good job nailing his character and they have a way of capturing the subtle things.

Through the warmth, through the cold by strikedawn

“It’s you!” Paimon shouted with a twirl in mid-air.

“��Excuse me?"

They were drunk. Were they drunk? Was he drunk? Because Kaeya had the feeling his guests had been talking to him for a while now, but none of their words had made any sense whatsoever.

That was, until Venti stepped firmly in front of Kaeya’s desk and set his hands on the top, the better to lean over towards Kaeya and say: “For the end of the Windblume festival, Sir Kaeya Alberich, we’re going to auction a date with you.”

Ships: Diluc/Kaeya

Notes: Shortword, Kaeya gets auctioned off. Diluc makes impulsive (but good) decisions and scores himself a Date but displays an inability to do Date Planning. Venti deserves a pat on the back. Very sweet.

Hide and Seek by Kiri_Kaitou_Clover

Childe did not expect regaining his memories would bring him such frustration.

He makes the best of the situation by messing with one amber eyed consultant in anyway he can.

A reincarnated storm god wades through life in Liyue, all while screaming about one dragon god's incompetency at being human.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: Features Childe as Osial’s very exasperated reincarnation, who gets the joy of discovering that his rival/enemy Morax is not only an idiot but also broke AF. He still falls in love anyway. Contains this golden line: 

"Did... did that complete blockhead really use my money in order to get me a gift that basically says that he is proposing to me?!"

(Osial was screaming. When had the other god become like this?! Had he always been like this?!)

Getting that Bread by tzitzimeme

Concubine AU where Zhongli is Emperor, Xiao is an assassin sent to kill him while disguised as a woman in his imperial harem, and the only reason he doesn't actually do it is because he pities Zhongli for being so catastrophically stupid (also Xiao falls in love).

Ships: Zhongli/Xiao

Notes: Like Xiao says, Zhongli is an idiot. Fluff and humor filled. Xiao spends a good 95% of this exasperated by Zhongli’s bullshit. 

prayers for a boy by Recluse

The only way to reconciliation is fierce combat!

Hm... Come to think of it, there will be a lot of interesting news to be heard the next time we gather for drinks. Filling in the blanks.

Ships: N/A

Notes: I...don’t really know where to begin with this? It’s exactly what the summary implies...but more? I was tempted to describe this as the fic where Zhongli puts his foot in his mouth but...that’s not exactly write? I feel like this was more of a character study. It explores the aftermath of the Osial Incident and how Zhongli and Childe reconnect. Platonically...though I guess it can be read romantically. 

one kind of longing, two places of sorrow by lady_peony

Zhongli's hands rest behind his back, both gloved hands clasping one another. His fingers tighten around one another for the merest moment, before he relaxes his grip.

"There is a tradition in Liyue," Zhongli says, his back still to Childe standing behind him, "of inviting out a companion to a last meal before a farewell."

A pause.

"A tradition?" Childe echoes.

"Yes."

"With a companion?"

"Yes."

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: The fic where neither of the two communicate about jackshit but go on a quiet, sad not-date before Childe leaves for Snezhnaya. Childe pulls (? on accident or on purpose, I can not tell) the equivalent of leaving the jacket in the car post-date to get date to call for the second date. Also, the author has a gift for like...writing angst...without writing angst? Like the whole fic is like brimming with everything that the characters aren’t saying but the thoughts aren’t necessarily written out BUT YOU KNOW THOSE DUMBFUCKS ARE JUST LIKE. BRIMMING WITH FEELS? 

The People of Liyue by queer_occurrences

But Zhongli whispers, his low voice rooted in the back of Childe’s mind. “Changsun, the merchant, who is never too Mora-enthralled to turn away a needy child. There’s Tiantian—she will allow anyone to join the Adventurer’s Guild—she knows what it is to be desperate.”

Childe ducks away from them and hurries out over the bridge. It’s a warm, sunny day, the kind he would have complained about, whining about his delicate Snezhnayan skin. “It’ll burn, or worse, freckle. Would you still like me if I was freckled?”

Then Zhongli would say, “The people of Liyue will remember your sacrifice.” And he would wrinkle his nose.

Or: after it all goes down, Childe takes a walk.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: The author has a way with perfectly balancing angst with humor in a way that makes you cackle. There’s a lot of feels in this one. Zhongli tries communicating--Childe runs away a lot. There’s a lot of love for Liyue in this one.

cold blooded, warm blooded, hearts all the same by reptilianraven

Teyvat Petting Zoo @tyvtpettingzoo

Well would you look at that! Zhongli, our resident spinytail iguana, has gotten quite cozy with Childe, our new (and very feisty) ginger ferret! Aren’t they adorable all cuddled together like this? 😍😍😍

[Attached image shows a brown spinytail iguana curled up against a ginger ferret. The iguana’s head is nuzzled under the snout of the ferret.]

-

At the Teyvat Petting Zoo, Zhongli and Childe fall in love.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: ...I promise I’m not weird. This is just super cute. Cross-species love affair? Childe the ferret is very besotted. The internet is confused and the zoo keepers are just done.

a geo archon's guide to the modern era by Erina

“Morax,” Xiao says after Zhongli finishes his retelling of the incident. “He thinks you’re a weirdo.”

“No, don’t say that,” Barbatos snickers. “You’ll give him hope that this is salvageable.” He lowers his voice. “Morax, he thinks you’re a boomer.”

(In which Zhongli hibernates for centuries and wakes up in the modern world)

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: This took me, I shit you not, FIVE SEPARATE ATTEMPTS to read. Not because it was bad but BECAUSE THE SECOND HAND EMBARRASSMENT WAS REAL. Like, omg, just reading about Zhongli’s introduction to modernity made me want to dig a hole and die. Super funny though. Do not read in public or you will look like a lunatic. Has a...parallel (?) fic in the same series called  buy two get one archon free where Zhongli gets reversed isekai’d into an anime convention.

time flies like an arrow by Erina

He’s tired, tired of the unbreakable loop of watching his loved ones pass on, tired of getting attached only for the connection to be violently ripped away from him. He wonders if the real victors during the Archon War were those who perished, who died long before their godhood turned into a curse that chained them to the land that they were fighting for.

But that is not a problem for Childe to worry about. That is Zhongli’s burden to bear, delivered to him in a pretty package years ago in the form of a gnosis.

His very first contract.

(Zhongli and Childe, across many lifetimes)

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: This is a quiet fic. It’s this kind of slice-of-life fic colored by this overpowering sense of love and loss as Zhongli remains immortal and Childe dies and lives and dies and lives for hundreds of lifetimes, but always finds his way back to his geo archon. It’s so lovely but also unbearably sad.

Tartaglia’s Favorite Professor by GreyLiliy

The famed hitman Tartaglia of the Fatui Syndicate spends his days as the charming college student Childe. The two lives remain as separate as possible in order to maintain a flawless cover to keep the authorities off his back and to better serve the Tsaritsa.

However, new intel about a rival syndicate intersects his two lives in a way he could never have predicted.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: Mafia AU meet College AU. Childe is somehow both a horny AF college student and murderous hitman. Zhongli gives off major DILF vibes. GreyLily somehow makes this work while also avoiding cringe. Highly recommended!

like a handprint on my heart by fallingintodivinity

“Strictly off-the-record,” Jean says, with a small smile, “I’m really happy to see you and Captain Kaeya getting along again, Master Diluc.”

“We’re not – we’re not getting along,” Diluc tells her, indignant. “We’re working together. Unwillingly, I might add.”

“Yes – oh, yes, of course.”

Diluc stares at Jean suspiciously. “Are you laughing at me?”

Jean clears her throat primly. “I would never.”

Ships: Diluc/Kaeya

Notes: Super, super cute! Sort of reads like a first date fic except genshin impact style? Writing style is very refreshing!

[alexandrite-dragoness]

Small Rant Post / What I've Been Up To...

To who it may concern—

I'd like to thank each and everyone of you for enjoying my content as of lately :)

No this isn't a goodbye lol, far from it

But you see I've been in the slumps lately. I haven't been too motivated to do much progress, even I feel like my drawing have been slacking since the whole break up with my friend.

Losing ppl is hard, and I now understand that.

But sometimes I gotta let those know that, hey, it's not working out. I'm sorry. But to only have that person turn the other cheek like "I expected as much" really put a strain of emotion within me that I can't seem to get rid of for quite sometime now.

But all the same I was more than glad to say something. I was being tired of being treated like I'm not doing good enough for them, like whatever I do that pissed them off ruins the whole day for the both of us, and only for my small mistake to bite me in the ass two weeks later. And for them to have another friend to talk to like I was just replaced for them only hurts more.

But I digress— while I may had some moments where it feels like I don't matter to those anymore, I knew I gotta do my own thing. I got three ppl who talk to me in each social media– Twitter, here on Tumblr, and Amino. And they all have a similar aspect: They all talk about themselves and sometimes themselves only.

But I never got the guts to tell them to hear me out, or say to end things here because I don't want to ruin their happiness.

But therefore... It's time for me to be selfish.

Basically chances are I won't be talking to them anytime soon, but I do want to focus on my happiness for the time being. At least until I feel better about myself.

And one way to do that is focus on my story I've been brewing for quite sometime now. Or basically anything regarding the Strega works I've been doing. Tho it may only mostly be writing, but I have been so excited on starting writing out the chapters now while half of my time in general are my first job and my side home job. So if my ex friend continues working on their fanfic I've heard 100k+ words about before our separation, then I'll be working on mine and nothing else.

So I'm starting my Gekkoukan!Strega story, for realsies. Tho I'd hate to drag anyone else into my obsession, so I'd only post it out in here and on AO3 to give everyone the freedom to read it as they please. Probably means no beta read either, but I will try to have my story be in present tense as the flashbacks be past tense.

I've been having some eyes on my story idea as is, and that what keeps motivating me more and more and hope everyone will enjoy it as much as I will writing it out. The story will take some elements of Shadow Cry, so expect a new character in the fic (Izumi). This story will more or less be a rehash of the P3 plot, but I will be focusing on the differences in scenes as Strega would be part of the SEES group. It will have multiple chapters, each chapter being each month of the full moon operation along with some slice of life stuff on the side.

I'll try to keep everyone posted on how's it going, I should have another flackback scene here sooommeettimmmee this month? Maybe?

Again thanks to those to keep up with my ramblings, I appreciate all the Strega enthusiasts checking out my blog along with my art blog ♥️

[yichens]

Fic Writer Interview Meme

thank you for tagging me @hils79 ♥ this is a great way to avoid writing my pingxie wing au which i currently struggle with bc am editing it into a completely new shape :D it’s exhausting but am making slow progress~

name: vish or vishie. won’t even advertise my irl name when it comes to fic writing haha

fandoms: so many more than i’ve ever gotten to write for. i am simply very slow at writing and the stuff i get into is way too many so... yeah. the most i’ve written for are BTS, The Untamed and now DMBJ. the list for fandoms i’d love to write for is endless but currently at least Guardian is very high up there. i keep having ideas but writing? not as much. 

two-shot: i wrote this one two-shot back when i was still writing fanfics in finnish for this one youtuber group lol. it was supposed to be a oneshot but it got super sad so i made it happier with a continuation later on. 

most popular multi-chapter fic: uuhh i’d say it’s my BTS abo fic My Lungs for You to Breathe which is currently at 98k words and 18 chapters but which i haven’t updated in almost a year :D idk if it will ever get to the end but i have enjoyed spending time with it. (Statistics:  Subscriptions: 227 Hits: 11718 Kudos: 461 Comment Threads: 89 Bookmarks: 153) 

actual worst part of writing: uuuhhh it’s so hard to name one currently? trying to get things out like i want them to and still sounding coherent? figuring out words that sound good but also make sense? idk. i love writing but these days i’ve been very stuck and insecure about it :/

how you choose your titles: i throw in words. i throw in more words. i stir. ta-da!

do you outline: i have not outlined on paper ever in my life. in my head tho? yes, absolutely. i am just too lazy and awkward to write it down. then i forget. oops. or then i don’t forget and get haunted or possessed, there’s no in between. 

ideas you probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice: this one historical au for Guardian which would also include some reincarnation themes. it would require a ton of research so am a bit scared. also, a DMBJ cultivator au just so that i could have pingxie and heihua meet in very different circumstances and have them use cool magic stuff. plus all the other characters having neat stories and skills and outfits. me and @ashenlights are throwing around a ton of ideas probably every day and have a docs file and some pins on pinterest etc :’D i will never probably actually write this bc it would get way too huge but the brainstorming is nice ♥ also i have this one pingxie reincarnation/soulmates au that haunts me currently but idk if i will have the motivation to write that. 

and then my personal favorite: a fic for The Journey Across the Night where i get to explore the main trio’s relationship developing throughout the series (and probably even after that) while each of them slowly figures out how much they love the other two. first part would be shi cheng who first watches chacha and li jia having a crush on each other meanwhile he ignores any of his own feelings towards li jia and what he’s doing to distract himself from that. second part would be chacha who notices shi cheng’s feelings for li jia and tries to figure out how she will take that while maintaining her own developing relationship with li jia plus her family problems. last part would be li jia who follows chacha and shi cheng going from friends to something else. he doesn’t understand. he has a lot of other stuff in his mind. there’s his alter making his first appearance. he might or might not be in love with both of his friends but needs a tiny nudge to get it, especially with shi cheng. i lack the skill and words to accomplish any of this so i just like to daydream. 

callouts @ me: actually the same as for you hils, that’s a good call out :’D i really should try some female characters once in a while. but they have slowly come a part of my stories at least? another one would be: pls for the love of god learn more vocabulary. and ways to form sentences. and like,,, stop editing those sentences so much, they’re fine. 

best writing traits: uuuhhh can i just skip this? these days it’s not easy to find anything positive to say about my own writing or my process with it. i am a mess. some stuff makes sense, a big part does not. maybe emotion but i feel like i cannot manage that either in a way that would satisfy me? persistence works too. i rarely abandon things completely. 

spicy tangential opinion: um. yours was very good hils, that made me so happy ^^ i should really try not to pressure myself to be perfect either just for the acknowledgement etc. this is a hobby yes and should be fun. which it is. but i struggle still sigh. idk what else to add really? write whatever you like. write those themes that you want to see. write the characters you want to see written in the way only you feel about them. write that pairing no one else has written. write for the fandom that doesn’t even show up on ao3. write for yourself, truly. write for your tiny group of friends who yell at you and are lovely and as crazy as you ♥ enjoy the process despite it being awful at times. writing is learning but also, don’t only just pressure yourself to improve with every sentence you write. i tend to do that a lot bc am so desperate to be better but i cannot force that into me. i gain experience slowly and learn at my own pace. i need to allow myself that. and sometimes i just need to allow myself to write whatever and have fun with it and not think about how much sense everything makes or if the characterization is 150% perfect. thanks for coming to my ted talk haha 

this was so nice :’) it’s sometimes nice to think about myself as a writer and then come up with things that i should take note of more often. i hope to write so much. i have so many ideas. my heart is filled with love for some many things. praying for all the time and inspiration for myself and all of my writer friends ♥

tagging only @i-am-just-a-kiddo if they wish to join me on this one :’) also tagging @kholran who was calling for everyone in their own post! that one was so nice to read too ^^  

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

1, 4, and 10! (Frankly, I'm interested in all of these, but I'll take these to start!)

Thank you! These are from this ask meme

1. What made you start writing fanfic? 

Hmmm you know, I had read, I think, 3 fanfics ever (i’m lumping the 3 harry potter novel-length Neville POV pdfs a friend sent me in college once into one group tho), before 2015. And always only things friends had linked to me/I wasn’t seeking them out myself. I tried looking some up once to see what the hype was about but never got interested in anything, even when the writing was objectively good (I think some Marvel, some Dr Who, etc that friends posted and which crossed my dash).

Trying to be as brief as possible on the leadup details, after a very low period for all of 2014 and while I was between jobs/living with my parents, I started DA:I just after Christmas and put in 104 hours/beat the game within 8 days, one of which I did not play at all during. So! You can say the Obsession had kicked in as they are wont to do.

I had a job lined up for March onward but nothing to do for the rest of Jan/Feb, so I played the game another two times, joined the good ol Bioware Social Network/forums, followed a bunch of new people on tumblr, and joined an online chat group or two about Inquisition! Fanfic was popular with everyone else, and while at first I wasn’t as interested in it as I was in talking about game meta/lore, after reading a couple I realized I actually enjoyed videogame-based fanfic much more than the kinds I’d bounced off before. I’m pretty sure it’s because in the games you get to make your own character/choices, so you don’t always know what’s actually coming next, and there’s someone “new” you’re reading about even if the other characters are the same. There’s just a lot more room to develop characters and side storylines while not contradicting the main plot, since a lot of what happens in games is implied/off-screen conversation/skipped over time-wise. It was also a good outlet for the mess of emotions DAI left me with (as a solasmancer: :( :( :( ), and it was people I knew who were creating it, so it was a fun way to engage with the online communities that were at the time my only social outlet. 

As someone who has written my own stories since childhood (I’d won NaNoWriMo that year with an original middle grade novel concept), it was pretty natural for me to transition over, about a month after I finished the game. My first couple attempts were very much figuring things out/playing with the genre, but I jumped in pretty fast. I wrote two short/messy one-shots, a few tumblr only drabbles ≤100 words, and then the third fic I ever started is Fallout From the Fade, my on-going longfic that is now the single longest story I’ve ever written and its been uuuhhhhh 5 years whoops. It’s been a long process but I’m the kind of person who jumps around between ideas but if I latch onto something it doesn’t really leave me (even the NaNo novel from 2007… i was 15… please i dont want you in my brain anymore) so even though sometimes life takes me away from stories for a long time I always have them in my head and intend to come back to them :) 

The biggest thing for me though was tumblr prompts/prompt boards. Fanfiction was the first time EVER that I was actually writing for an audience instead of myself (I have entire original novels that no one’s ever read on my harddrive). I very quickly learned that I’m good at writing angst and oh boy it’s a rush to directly hear from people that they Felt Something because of what you wrote. So most of my story stars I get from the kinkmeme or asks because then I know, specifically, that I’m writing something someone else wants to read. It’s also interesting to me in the psychology that way–I will often read through peoples blogs to get an idea of what they’re into theme or headcanon wise, and incorporate those into my works. I am very interested in the reader/work relationship and having that extra element of control over it is something I like to play with. 

Wow, giant answer. Stopping there.

4. Do you think your style has changed over time? How so? 

I think I’ve gotten better at writing for the conventions of the genre. Fanfic is more about emotions than plot than original work, though both can play a role/stories can vary on how much of each they put in. But the more you write about a character the more you explore their backstory, personality, motivations, etc and I think the better you can understand them to write more. Really though, I go into each fic with a different style in mind though. Some are more economical, and I put a lot of work into show-vs-tell. Some I go past purple into ultraviolet with the prose, especially for shorter works. A lot of it is self-indulgent, but I’m pretty mindful about the tone I write in and what I want it to convey when paired with that specific plot.

10. What’s a theme that keeps coming up in your writing?

I have yet to meet someone as into the concept of meta-narrative as I am. I am constantly thinking about the relationship between the reader and what I’m writing, and how that will be affecting their reading experience. I’m big on using  fic to create a sense of tension, leaving people on cliffhangers wanting more, and basically using things like paragraph length/repetition/clues/word choice to either keep the reader engaged or jolt them out of the story for a moment in order to wring as much emotion from them as possible. There’s definitely times I don’t get it right but I think I hit the mark a decent amount. This is one of those things that’s “invisible” to the reader though unless they’re directly looking for it, so, I don’t know that it’s something anyone would think of unless they’ve talked to me about writing–though if you have, you KNOW i go off about meta-narrative within my first three comments.

For more traditional themes, on the physical side: as a career botanist/geologist, I am always very aware of nature and setting. Sometimes maybe too much so. So a lot of my metaphors/allusions/breaks between plot or dialogue involve nature in some way, especially plants, water, and light. I’m being very indulgent in a current WIP and going on about the weather (I HATE that weather is a stereotypical “boring conversation” marker because i LOVE meteorology and its very important!!! esspecially if u spend all day running around outside!! as both I personally and my OCs do) but I try to tone that down normally. 

On the figurative side: I write a lot about mental health while trying to keep it both realistic/non-glamorized but still as big as it really feels; I write about complicated relationships and not being fully aware of your own emotions/reactions (love me a flawed narrator); about things the character has lost like family/identiy/language; and I can’t keep away from stories about self-sacrifice, duty, transcendence, futility, and rage. I have yet to write a piece that can truly be described as fluff, I think.

Aaaand I’ve gone on FAR too much already, so I’ll end it there! Thanks so much for the q’s!

[strangeracrossthestreet]

 tagged by THIS person who even IS THIS @corisanna

1. What is your favorite relationship type to write/read? Romantic, platonic, familial, and any subtypes.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHnggfdbhdf any kind of type really is always going to be the protective pessimist and the sunshine but guiltily also for the romantic type i also love me the demon edgelord fucks who everyone else is terrified from but is cowed into submission by their sunshine other half who can and WILL get angry at their smug demon half for being a smug lowkey asshole bastard towards their shared friends coughHomucifercough that’s a lot to crossout oops

2. How much or what kind of research do you do for your fiction? If you don’t write, has a fic ever made you curious enough to research something?

Hmmmmmmmm. I, huh. My crappy memory isn’t gonna help in this at all. Okay so fics HAVE made me google stuff on multiple occasions but straight up research? Nnnnno I don’t think so. I don’t have the mental capacity or want to do it. If i ever do “research” (and i say that oh so loosely) anything in the future because of a fic it will go as far as asking google and looking att he first thing i see for like a second bgfdjbgfdj

3. What was the first work of fiction you remember becoming completely engrossed in?

As N Approaches Infinity First work that I remember would be a PowerPuff Girls fanfiction called Misconceptions by Sandstorm3D ( @sandstorm3d is this even the right tumblr shit). Every Saturday there would be an update and it was the best thing ever! obviously sometimes it wasn’t consistent because Life be like that™ and sometimes we even got double chapter updates which was always a treat to get! Another fic that was pretty great (but which i found long after it was complete so i didnt get to be engrossed in) was Taking Responsibility by Somewei another PPG fic ugh so good. ALSO ALSO now that I’M HERE FUCK IT! Another PPG fic that is ALSO SO GOOD! SO GOOD that I’m currenty hella invested in that’s called As Time Goes By by  Carriedreamer (OH WU- OH LOOK LINKS i didnt know it worked like that i just copied their name cause i was too lazy to write it- hold on *goes back and edits the other two*). I’m stopping here or god I am 100% going to link every OTHER story I’ve ever loved 

4. What work(s) had a lasting influence on you or your writing style?

Nothing really. I get very very into stuff i like but once its over its kinda over? Nothing has really “changed my life” or just left any lasting impressions or whatever other than me being invested in it a lot while im there. Does that count??? 

5. What kind of sound environment do you prefer for writing/reading? Silent, white noise, music with/without words, sitting in a public place with the ambient noise of humanity, etc.

Music always! The problem arises then that if I can’t find the proper music for the stuff I’m reading, as in for it to have the same atmosphere as the fic (with words or not doesn’t matter) then I’m going to constantly be stopping myself in the middle of reading just so I can go on youtube and find something fitting bgfhjbgfj such a pain

6. Are you or do you like authors who are teases, in story or out?

They infuriate me! In the best way possible. Cliffhangers? Fucking murder me but god I love it. Honestly I love every kind of author bgjgfbgfjgf I just love bein’ dramatic 

7. Have you ever experienced a “the characters write themselves” or “character rebellion” mental state?

As a reader I have no idea what that is or how it works or how it feels but god does it fascinate the fuck outta me

8. Do you have a favorite franchise crossover? Like Bleach/Harry Potter, Madoka Magica/Card Captor Sakura, etc.

No sir! Same as music here, if I like it, I like it bgfhjgf As long as I know one (1) of the franchises I don’t care what the other crossover is as long as the fic is good (good to me at least, everyone is different in that regard after all gbfhjgfd opinions opinions so many opinions so many people) THO I will always lament when there ISN’T a crossover with some franchises (or just plain not enough fics for them cough Madoka/Nanoha cough THERE IS NEVER ENOUGH) I’m guilty of seeing similar characters interacting. Just wanting to see them togethere because thEY ARE SO SIMILAR BUT YET SO DIFFERENT AND DYNAMICS YES HELLO GIVE ME *coughs*

9. Do you remember anything about the first fanfic you ever read?

No I don’t but I bet you if I go on my ff.net account RIGHT NOW! and go back to the story I favored first ever, I can tell you about it. I bet im doing it. Im going. Okay so its a PPG one again (wow I really had a ppg phase i mean I DID i still do kind of? i mean n O SHAME TO ME FICS ARE FICS DAMN IT AND THEY’RE SO GOOD) Okay so I clicked it but it doesn’t ring a bell BUT IT DID REMIND ME OF ANOTHER FIC I REALLY LIKED which honestly might as well be the first one ever fuck it whatever. A PPG one of course bfjgfdnjgkfd called uh, fuck i dont remEMBER THE TITLE! But its just basically ya know when the girls in the movie fly into space? it’s a What If: Only two of them came back AND ITS A DRAGON BALL CROSSOVER KINDA ITS AMAZING AHA I FOUND IT!  Divided Paths by  mg56 .This search made me go back and god they are so good

10. Is there a work of fiction that you are annoyed doesn’t have much if any fic? Like Bizenghast.

More madoka never enough give me post rebellion shit i mean GAH stop complaining im such an ungrateful glutton I would LOVE more School Live!/Gakkou Gurashi fanfics out there. AND AND ALSO! Fucking Kannazuki No Miko PLEASE STAR CROSSED LOVERS THEY ARE ALL IN SPANISH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

11. What fictional character do you strongly identify with?

Man. I don’t really...have that feeling? I mean..I can feel for Homura and Spinel! And Sayaka too, fucking Kyoko too but i don’t have the idk like yeabfjgfjBHSDFBHFSDJ I can understand characters and their motivations I feel? But I don’t get like attached attached ya know?

[princeanxious]

A Loving New Beginning- Gods of the Sky Au (Part One!) -Sanders Sides Fic

(Authors note: So, bet you guys totally forgot that I was planning on making another part to this Au, huh?? Well, After some trial and error, and some struggling with ideas and motivation, I’ve got part one, out of three/four, done and ready to give to ya’ll! This is supposed to help balance out the AU’s angst ratios a little bit to give a look into the aftermath of the Main Fic, so I hope ya’ll enjoy! Also wanna be tagged for anything to do with this AU? Let me know, I’m starting a taglist for it!)

Warnings: fluffy fluff and little else other than Virgil being a cute lil confused bean!

Check out the fanfic this fic follows after, right here! (Or else nothing will make much sense, though please heed the warnings!) There will also be art of All the Sides in the future, like this piece here! (Angst and slight blood tw for that piece tho!)

Roman is working on creating something new in his creation room inside the temple when Virgil quietly steps in.

“Hey Ro?” Roman startles slightly and his creation dissipates, thankfully he hadn't really started on it and hadn't really had anything in mind when starting on it, so nothing is lost. Virgil, however, looks guilty anyway and begins apologizing profusely.

“No no, it's okay, really. I promise, Virgil, no harm done!” He chuckles softly, patting the others shoulders as he comes to stand in front of the lunar god.

“So what was it that you wanted to talk to me about?” the solar god asks, which triggers Virgil to flush. The happiness of seeing color in the fair skin of the gods once sickly pale face bubbles inside Roman for a moment, and he can't help but smile which only causes the smaller of the two to blush more.

“U-um.. The humans, you know, with a solstice coming up, they're requesting us. They - they want all of us to attend the upcoming festival celebration..” the ravenette fidgeted with his new cape’s hem, the gold threaded designs woven into the inside to represent the stars that accompany the Moon at night glittered beautifully in the candle light. Truly, Virgil finally looked divinely ethereal, as he rightfully should have looked all this time.

“That's fantastic, my dear Luna!~ You rightfully deserve to be a part of the Solstice Celebrations!” Roman's eyes lit up bright like the star he was born for, excited and proud of the God he cared for deeply. He couldn't quite help his giddiness, reaching to take Virgil's hands into his own and twirl the shorter god in glee, heart only warming more at the precious squeak of surprise that escaped the Moon.

“Just imagine the praise, the fun, the dances! The shimmering decorations, the music, Virgil!” Roman couldn't help but pull the other close, guiding the other in a small twirling dance, ending it off by picking up the other by the waist and giving one final twirling motion before setting him down and gazing warmly into the others eyes.

Virgil still seemed thrown by the kind, caring mood Roman now treated him with, still new to the solid affection and support after working alone for so long. Locking eyes left him flustered and floundering at what to do when shown such solid respect, not to mention being spun cheerily around!

Virgil's arms had instinctively reached out to hold on to Roman’s shoulders while being spun, which was where they now rested as he attempted to gather himself. Unable to help his natural nervous tendencies, he broke eye contact and pulled his arms to his chest to fumble with his sleeves.

“Well, the thing is. Y’know those stories they write based on history? Those exaggerated dramas? Well, um.. since the um.. most recent event in history, they’ve begun to write stories about me.. about, a-about us?” Virgil seemed to flush a bit more, face twisting into something more confused, a look he often gained when frustrated over confusing things.

Roman tilted his head curiously, an endeared smile never leaving his face as he hummed inquiringly. “Hmm? About us? What about us? I know that Humans can sometimes get carried away with their exaggerations, for entertainment’s sake, but I hope it is not too bad?” Watching the nervousness flicker in Virgil’s eyes made his smile falter, concern flashing over his tanned features at the smaller gods distress. “It is not too bad, right?”

“That.. is what I wanted to talk to you about, its not bad, no. But, I just.. Don't understand it? They write.. unfamiliar endings, they assume and guess that the Moon and Sun are one in the same.” Virgil refused to meet the Sun God’s gaze, instead nervously playing with his cape once more.

“Virgil, we are one in the same. Equals within the sky, as it should have been from the start.”

“No, Roman, that.. That's not entirely what I mean.. I mean that.. they see us as lovers, write about us being forced apart by the shadows, and my sacrifice and rebirth, then write about how we then will live on as one, like Patton and Logan do. They want us to attend, together, I.. am confused by this, Roman. ”

“Why, dear Luna? Humans seek love in everything they find. Though, I sometimes think it may be the way they cope with the knowledge that I had left you all alone..” guilt flashed over the sun god’s face, but he maintained his gaze on the beautiful moon before him. “Perhaps I should follow in their footsteps, I will never forgive myself for being so wrong with you, so anything to prove my devotion to your healing wellbeing is something I wouldn’t mind taking part in.”

Virgil was even more confused now than before. Was Roman.. agreeing? With the Humans? Saying that they should be together?

“Roman I don’t..?” Virgil shyly peered up at the taller god, surprise evident in his softer features.

“You will understand with time, my dear Virgil, I promise to you.” The Sun gently hooked his arm around the Moons waist and pulled him close, gently placing a kiss upon the others forehead. “In due time, everything will be clear.”

Virgil gently gripped at the others vibrant cloak, eyes downcast with a look of bewilderment, cheeks flushed.

“Alright, Roman.. I trust you.” Romans heart fluttered at those words, heavy in meaning, the baring of vulnerability in giving them. His hand carded gently through the raven locks of the Moon’s hair, eyes soft and distant for a long moment.

“My dear Luna, if you are ever uncomfortable during the festival, if you ever need an out, air to breathe, a quiet place to calm down in, just give me the word, and you’ll have it. These human festivals can be quite fun, however I do not want want your first time in experience to be unpleasant because you have been overwhelmed.”

Virgil nodded, releasing the others cloak gently to thumb the soft fabric thoughtfully. “They say the Festival will finally be able to last all day and night, because of my Moon, Roman. I am concerned for the Humans, Roman, have they ever carried festivities in the night before? It will be dark, and dangerous, even with my moonlight.”

The Sun chuckled, soothing the ravenette’s hair back from shielding his eyes, shining gold gazing into piercing blue-grey. “Always worrying, my dear Virgil, do not fret, they have planned for this. I have already been asked to help light the flames of the festival candles once night falls. It will be a magical, glittering display, and everyone will be safe in our presence.” Leaning his forehead against Virgil's, eyes locking. “I promise to you that this festival will be far from harm and danger, it will be magical, a wondrous occasion to celebrate us, to celebrate you. With all of us now together, the humans will be safe from the darkness, for good.” The Solar god’s hand slipped from the others hair and rested gently against the Moon’s cheek, thumb rubbing soothing strokes against flushed pink skin with adoration. “With you in our midst, we are complete.”

Both gods spent a few moments in silence, finding assurance in one another’s quiet presence when all was said and done. Eventually, Virgil broke the silence by hiding his face against the taller gods shoulders, huffing out a shy chuckle, “You are so weirdly wondrous, Roman.” Saying which had earned a warm laugh and a gentle kiss upon the head in response, which then also prompted a bashful whine in reaction.

They stood there and swayed happily, content and safely uninterrupted in the warm temple room for a few more long, wonderful minutes before Roman was struck with realization.

“Virgil? I just had a thought.” Roman grinned at the inquiring hum he received, knowing the other had made himself quite comfortable against the sun god’s warm shoulder. “You have never attended a festival before..” Another answering hum, “Soo.. that means you don’t have a festival outfit!” Roman’s excitement could easily be heard mounting in his voice alone, and Virgil was left floundering again, so enraptured by the others metaphorical sunshine. Virgil mustered up enough will to tilt his head to the side, exposing his mouth enough to talk more easily, “No, I don't.. Your point?”

“My poooint, is that we need to make one for you!” In Roman’s excitement, he plucked Virgil up again and twirling him around, slowing only slightly when the other gave an upset groan in reaction.

“But Roman, why can’t I wear this? It’s already plenty flashy and extravagant..” the Ravenette whined softly, arms slipping around Roman’s neck to secure himself himself and steady their spinning.

“Heaven’s no, My magnificent Moon! You can’t wear that because that is your everyday attire, my dear! This is a Solstice Festival, a twice in a year occurrence to celebrate our balance and unity, there will be no faltering in representing your beauty, in style nor personality! These days are special, and I will not let you under-represent yourself!”

“But Roman-” Virgil paused, purposefully pausing their spin by placing his feet firmly to the ground, still holding the other close. “I don’t- I- Just because I’m not.. wearing something extravagant, doesn’t mean I’ll be under-represented..”

He watched guiltily as Roman’s excitement deflated a little, and the sigh that Roman gave wasn’t too reassuring either. “I.. I know, Virgil. I just, I just want you to enjoy this, want you to feel like a part of the sky, like you always deserved to be. I know you aren’t used to standing out, used to being at the center of attention but, just this once, I think this might.. help? Think about it this way..”

Roman slowly guided Virgil to a window, sitting on the windowsill and pulling the smaller into his lap so that they could gaze out into the night sky and the active villages below it. “Each one of us already has a themed Solstice Festival outfit, representing what we are. They all match in a way, so if you don’t wear one made to match as well, people might stare, they might question why, I just, I don’t care about the backlash we could get, I care about the caused attention that could be centered on you, because I know you are easily overwhelmed by that.” Virgil was now leaned against Roman’s chest as they gazed out at the town below, Roman’s hand carding through the smaller’s hair while the other was entwined with one of Virgil’s own. The solar god’s voice was laced with nervousness and worry, something unusual and unlike him to show around Virgil. It was after a few moments that Virgil realized that Roman had shared a very vulnerable piece of himself inlaid with worry to Virgil, and was waiting for a response in return.

“Look, Ro.. I, I get it, you’re worried about me, and, that's.. that's weird to say for myself but..” Roman’s hand gave a gentle squeeze, which Virgil returned before continuing, “But, I guess, the outfit thing doesn’t sound so bad, when you put it that way. And.. I said that I trust you, I can see that you care, and uh.. yeah.. I’m not good at this..” he earned another hand squeeze from Roman before receiving a gentle kiss on the head and a soft “Thank you.”

They stayed like that in each others arms for another few moments, enjoying the mutual quiet as Virgil tucked himself against Roman once more.

Roman would later call a monk to retrieve to remaining two gods and bring them to the temple’s creation room so that they may all begin work on Virgil’s festival attire, but for now, the two would enjoy a quiet pleasant nap together, finally at peace.

.

Part Two!

General Writings Taglist: @peanut0303 @ashrain5 @wentzdayz @kanejandkruge @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2 @jadedragon1903 @thecasualinsomniac @analogical-chaos @confinesofpersonalknowledge @planetsanders @queen-of-all-things-snuggly @thekeytohappiness-is-you @today-only-happens-once

[lay-z]

400+

Sooooo…since I hit the 400 Followers-mark a few days ago, I decided to give you all a quick update on what’s going on atm

Last Friday I got my exam results back and looks like I passed! I’ll get the date for my final oral exam hopefully this week and even if that won’t be that good, I’ll pass and finally be done with my apprenticeship. I still don’t believe that I passed tho, cause I’m a chronic pessimist. SOMETHING could still happen, right? Probably no, but still. 😅

BUT since I’ll be taken on by my current boss, I’ll start earning a full salary (hopefully) by the end of next month – and that would be great because then I could visit my sister-in-law aka one of my best friends in London! She’s doing an internship for three months; she’s only been away for like a week but she’s already dealing with homesickness. Added to this, the terrorist attack at the London Bridge occurred only a couple of days after her arrival and of course that makes you worry. Luckily she’s living a little outside of the city center, but she told me that she had been there like two hours before it happened and that’s scary. It’s a tragic nonetheless and my heart goes out to all the people who have died in any of these attacks, and my deepest condolences to all families, friends, lovers who have lost somebody in any of those assaults. ❤

Concerning my lack of fanfic updates:

I am working on that! Now that this huge weight is lifted off my shoulders, I hope that I’ll be able to focus on my writings a lot more, considering I want to start writing on my own novels, short stories, etc. 😁

There are so many things I want to do now that most of my personal “How to be an adult”-Checklist is done (I still need a car; I still need to move out of my parent’s home!). I want to travel, I want to write, I want to take some singing/acting lessons and so much more.

For a long time, I thought I was running out of time; that it’s too late for me to start living my dreams and doing what I love, because the media and even the people surrounding me were telling me that you have to achieve certain goals by a certain age or else you’re a failure, but fuck that! I’m 22 motherfuckers and if I want to be single and travel the world all by myself instead of stressing myself to find somebody, settle down, have kids and all that stuff, it’s my freaking choice! 🤙 Go and shake your heads at me because I like wearing my fake septum and a snapback or not any make up at all most days – whatever I do, someone will always hate on me, so screw that. I won’t change my appearance unless I WANT TO. I’m not sorry that I don’t fit in y’all’s twisted image of a young woman - and I’m so glad that I finally understand that I don’t have to be sorry, I AM ME and that’s okay. 🙂🖕

Sorry that this turned into a little rant, but I had to get it off my chest. I’m finally experiencing a little bit of freedom, like my life is finally a little more structured and easy and I’m sooooo looking forward to that.

I just want to thank Tumblr, or more specifically my followers for your support! I know most of us don’t talk or text, but your asks and reblogs and likes always cheer me up! They showed me that my work is appreciated, that I made YOU smile and happy and that makes me happy in return. You guys motivate me and I thank you for that. 😢

HAVE A GREAT DAY – XOXO 😗

Cheers 💕

[ashethehedgehog]

OKAY U GUYS LMAO TY FOR THE ASKS <33333 I’ll do ygo for all the letters here! It’s long so I’ll put it under a read more! So dive on in for some talk about my writing and puzzleshipping fics! (Also some snippets I posted below so wink wink)

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

Not like directly, but I definitely put some of my influences into them. Like Yugi wanting to be a knight in The Beast Within was 100% because I used to want to be a knight lmao. 

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Ohhh off the top of my head? Gosh mmmm. Okay so off the top of my head there’s this one scene in an AU I’m probably going to abandon actually, so it’s kinda ehhh to show it now and tease u all like this lmao, but I did really enjoy writing the interactions between Yugi and Atem in them, so I’m going to put one of those for this! I just like the way they butted heads and Atem refused to relent, but then so did Yugi so they just tip toed around each other looking for the weak spot while referring to ‘the pharaoh’ as if it’s someone else and not Atem lmao. For context, it’s from an AU where everyone is an anthro animal, felines are considered the high ranking ones, spotted cats (Yugi’s species) is endangered and highly revered, Atem is a lion.

“You’re under the protection of the pharaoh, and as such are to remain in the palace where said effect can be carried out.” Atem answered as dully as he could manage. It seemed to work, as Yugi’s expression dropped.

“That order can be extended and revoked by the pharaoh himself should he wish. Do you think the pharaoh realises that? I wonder…” Yugi clicked his tongue, a thoughtful hand tapping his chin.

“I believe the pharaoh wishes for the spotted cat to remain within the palace walls, where he would be safest. I wonder if he realises that he could have servants fetch anything he needed from the city.”

“He wants to go look at what the city has to offer. With his own eyes, not those of servants not belonging to him.”

“You have your own staff I have assigned to you.”

“They’re not loyal to me.”

Atem paused, finally giving his full attention to Yugi. So that’s the kind of game Yugi was playing today. It seemed he had slipped up, however, and Atem wasn’t beneath taking advantage of this blunder.

“You question the good intentions of the pharaoh, who has given you his place as residence while asking nothing of you?” Atem tsked, turning back to his scroll, attention slipping from Yugi. He knew that would irritate the little cat, and sure enough, Yugi gave a soft growl in warning.

“I do not question the pharaoh, only wonder if he remembers whether or not he will honour his agreement.”

“What agreement?” Atem rolled his eyes.

Yugi pushed off the desk, slamming a hand down on the table, tail lashing angrily behind him. “You cannot keep me locked up here, pharaoh. Protective rules or not, if I leave, you cannot stop me.”

“No, I can’t,” Atem responded calmly, adjusting the scroll in his paws. “But you lose my protection if you venture into the city. You go alone.”

"I will be going into the city, pharaoh. And you will provide me with the necessary guards."

G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

I tend to write random scenes around as I get inspiration for them, but mostly I write it chapter by chapter to keep it consistent! But if I’m in a slump, I write scenes that I had the motivation to work on, even if it’s for like three chapters ahead. I did this a little with my Big Bang fic because I had a deadline and needed to be working on it lmao. Fun fact tho, The Living Daylights I started off with the opening scene from chapter nine! Yeah nine chapters in right crazy ahaha, but that was what inspired the AU! xD

H: How would you describe your style?

I dunno? Semi-decent descriptions enough to understand locations and a fuckton of travelling montage work and fighting scenes. I couldn’t tell u dude I dunno my own style lmao.

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?

Sure, why not! So my list of fics I’m currently writing are:

Prince and King on AO3

Dragontaur AU/ Opportunities in Unexpected Places on AO3

The Demon Prince Yugi and Knight Atem AU, which will be my next multi chap fic after PaK is done.

A naga!Yugi and vampire!Yugi AU that I’m writing, buuuuut they’re both for my smut blog, where I post them exclusively, and I’m not going to move them to AO3 either soz (anyone is welcome to IM me for the link to the blog, but it’s on private so access is message only lmao).

Magic AU, which u can find some snippets of here! I don’t plan to take this further than a longshot, even with the potential for more there, I just don’t have the time for another fantasy AU world to build rn lmao. But I hope to have something of this to share soon!

Lion Atem, which I gave the snippet of above, where they’re all anthros. I never wrote much for this, and although I liked the concept, I don’t think I’ll work on it anymore. Maybe I’ll post the 6K I wrote just as a ‘read if u want but don’t expect more pls’ kind of thing. But yeah, at this stage this one is p much discontinued because I don’t have the time to work on it. 

And that leaves Elf King Yugi, something that has definitely been on the back burner for MONTHS now (ever since Trial and Error, so u do the maths lmao) which I have written a fair amount for, but need to do some serious plot work before I consider doing more. Since there is a chance I’ll continue to work on this one tho, I��ll post a snippet here!

"You know the council isn't going to like this Yugi. You're in for a long and dangerous fight with this one."

"I know Anzu- you don't need to treat me like a kid." Yugi scolded her with a quick frown.

"I'm just warning you. Be prepared to argue into the night."

"I am- believe me." Yugi groaned, a hand rubbing his forehead as if to still a headache.

Yami tittered at the edge of the room near the door, unsure if he should interrupt what looked like a conversation (or argument) between friends.

Luck wasn't (or was) on his side though it seemed, as Yugi took that moment to crane his neck to where Yami was standing, his eyes lighting up. Yami suppressed a groan as he waved him over. Yami stepped lightly, his steps hesitant as he approached the two.

"Oh wow Yugi is this him? Your narcissism is showing with this one." The girl’s eyes gleamed with something predatory, like she was sizing up how long Yami would last in... Something.

"Would you please stop saying 'this one?' It implies I do this frequently- which I don't." Yugi said, shooting Yami an apologetic look. "This is Anzu- she works at the castle here-"

"You forgot to mention I'm your best friend." Anzu said in a sing song voice. Yugi shot her a look this time.

"Yes, and you're my annoying best friend." He turned back to Yami. "She's going to give you your tour, alright?"

Yami nodded. "Where are you going?"

"I have to go to court today. We'll see each other later, my dear Yami." Yugi smiled at him, reaching out to pat his shoulder as he passed him, disappearing out of the room.

Yami turned back around to immediately jump in surprise.

Standing way too close for comfort in front of him was Anzu. She had a wild grin on her face, like she knew a secret Yami didn't.

"Well well Yami. Looks like it’s just the two of us for the rest of the day." She practically purred.

"Uh... Okay... Should I be worried?" Yami frowned, not liking the glint in her eyes. It's like a maze of demons here, Yami observed. You turn away from one only to find another.

"Not at all," Anzu hummed, patting Yami's shoulder. "We're all friends here I assure you. Yugi wants me to take extra good care with you. And I must say- I can see why. You're a keeper."

"A keeper?" Yami's frown deepened, and he suppressed a sigh of exhaustion. Just what have I gotten myself into here? He was beginning to seriously regret his decision to break the elves' border seal now.

"Never mind." Anzu waved him off, trotting over to the door only to swing back around, her hand on the handle. "You coming? Yugi wants you to see the castle."

"Oh, right, of course." Yami muttered, following Anzu as she made her way out into the hallway.

"Alright, first things first- unless Yugi gives you public permission to travel around, don't go anywhere without an escort, okay?"

"Why? I'm not a kid." Yami scoffed.

"Mmm, technically you are to a lot of these folk. Most of the population in the kingdom are elves, and they tend to be a lot older than they appear."

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

LMAO YEAH REALLY WISH I DIDN’T HAVE TO WRITE THE REST OF PRINCE AND KING BUT WELP IT’S MY FIC AND I’VE COME THIS FAR SO I GOTTA FINISH IT RIP. I just reaaaaaally crave the day I can slap a COMPLETED on it :’’’’D

O: How do you begin a story–with the plot, or the characters?

The plot! Mainly because fanfic so the chars already exist lmao. I usually start with one thing that catches my interest, and work out from there. Sometimes my AUs start from dreams, like Demon Prince started because I had a dream Yugi was a demon in jail trying to seduce Atem to come work for him so lmao there u go. 

P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an “architect” or a “gardener”? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)

I’m much more of an architect, because without a decent plot written out in front of my, in like a chapter by chapter format, I will easily lose motivation and focus because I won’t have a ‘oh yeah that’s what’s happening next!’ sort of thing. It helps with building up foreshadowing and stuff too for me. The stories I try to ‘gardener’ for I guess are the ones that often don’t see tumblr or AO3 lmao. AKA u will never hear of them because I have a few lmao.

Q: How do you feel about collaborations?

Interesting question! I suppose it depends what kind! I like collaboration ideas, in fact my first multi chapter fic The Living Daylights was a collaboration in ideas between me and my pal Ren! But I still wrote the entire thing lmao. I guess I like to have control over the writing for style consistency, but I think tackling the entire concept with another writer would be fun! I’ve never tried to write something with someone else so I dunno how that would go!

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

[kinda nsfw] INNOCENT PURE YUGI MUTOU WHO MUST ALWAYS BOTTOM FOR ATEM BECAUSE ATEM IS SEX GOD AND YUGI IS VIRGIN WHO KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT SEX. Listen nothing rustles my JIMMIES more than that that troupe which is EVERYWHERE in puzzleshipping. I don’t understand why it’s so popular??? Like, this isn’t to say Yugi 100% CANNOT bottom because he totes can! But of ALL the puzzleshipping I’ve ever read that involved smut, especially in multi chapter fics, Yugi topped like... once, maybe??? ???? That’s SO MANY fics where Atem almost NEEDED to top. It kind of feels like people were too scared to write it at times? Like some stories I could totally see it either way, but it was ALWAYS with Atem topping, always. I don’t really understand why people are so against Yugi topping in puzzle but auuuugh I just wish there was more of it u know? Like if I want top Atem material shit man I got hundreds of fics for that, but top Yugi? Man, I can list them on my fingers...

Long story short ppl shouldn’t be afraid to let Yugi top pls. I’m not saying he ALWAYS HAS TO TOP, but more of that than Atem always topping would be real nice? A nice mix instead of everything seemingly so bias would be cool? Sometimes I want top!Atem, and sometimes I want top!Yugi, isn’t that the same for everyone lmao. Like they’d totes switch it up all the time so why is there so little for top!Yugi? The mystery of my life lmao. Let Yugi Top 2k17.

X: A character you enjoy making suffer.

Probably Atem, sorry to the kid but he’s the one who ends up suffering the most in my fics opps. I think there’s like ONE fic where Yugi suffers more maybe? The rest is all like nope lmao soz bro but ur the punching bag ahaha.

W: Do you like more general prompts, or more specific ones?

(this is the one I picked myself lmao) I like really specific ones! I like to know exactly what I’m writing, and unless I get a burning idea in my head I’d rather do (not often) I’d prefer prompts that give me more to work with, or at least more detail than like a one line simple prompt lmao. 

[cupkayke]

11 Answers, 11 Questions

I got tagged by @nardaviel! <3

Rules: Always post the rules. Answer the questions asked, then write eleven new ones. Tag eleven people to answer your questions as well as the person who tagged you. 

1. what’s your favorite thing to do when you want to chill out and just enjoy yourself?

I’m so lame, it’s sleeping, mostly lol. I love naps like nothing else. As for hobbies, if I’m actively roleplaying with anyone it’s that, or relaxing and reading fanfics or watching Markiplier videos. Just hanging out by myself, really. (Tho cuddling the BF ranks on the list too lol)

2. describe the most beautiful thing you can think of or imagine

Object or concept? If we’re going with object... the perfect-fitting dream dress, heart shaped neckline, flowing skirt with iridescent colors that all blend into one another in varying shades of pinks, purples and blues... (idk I’m working on cosplay right now so all I’m thinking about is clothes). Concept? Coming home to your loved one(s), falling into an embrace and feeling that all is right with the world.

3. what is your favorite combination of colors?

Pink is my all-time favorite standalone, but I really like how royal blue and turquoise look together especially on clothing. 

4. tell us about an AU that you desperately want to make but haven’t been able to, for whatever reason (can’t think of a plot, your faves don’t work well in the setting, w/e)

;^; I actually don’t like AUs too much... I get attached to a world AND its characters, not just one or the other. That’s why I don’t particularly care for reading fics/doing rps that are set in an existing universe but using OCs or AUs. Now Alternate Reality/Slight Canon Divergence I can do- I love me some ‘what if X happened instead of Y’. So I guess I’ll go with an AR answer since it’s kind of AU...

I’d want to do an AR of Boueibu where the CA don’t leave and join the DC, either staying in their CA outfits or becoming Battle Lovers themselves to fight the VEPPer. Now that would be entertaining.

5. what does your phone case look like? did you go for style or sturdiness?

I work in cell phones, so I love me some cases lol I swap out cases so often it’s not even funny. When I had an iphone 6/6s I had something like 10-15 cases at one point but now I have a 7 for work so I don’t have as many  yet;

I have the first one I bought, a Speck hardshell with a purple/blue galaxy print on it. I got stuck with a black phone since it’s a work phone, so I wanted something that matched but was cute. The one I actually use at work is another Speck in turquoise with a slot for a credit card so I can keep my Target card on me at all times so I can buy lunch faster and not lose my card. The one I’m using right now because the Galaxy one is starting to deteriorate is a pink and navy otterbox symmetry that I got on clearance. I wanted the teal one but it was too light colored and was gonna get dirty too fast. All my cases are a blend of protection/function and style so...

6. what is your ideal hairstyle for yourself?

Just cut my hair again, actually; something short and easy to maintain with bangs to hide my forehead that I don’t like but cutesy. I always go with a chin-length bob with sideswept bangs when I cut my hair so... that’s it. 

7. what’s the first favorite song you can remember having?

The first song that I liked just for myself and not because my parents played it all the time was Blue (Da Ba Dee) by Eiffel 65. I fucking love them. 11-year-old me was all over that early 2000s electropop shit. Going back even earlier, though, I want to say it was Hey Hey (We’re the Monkees) or Last Train to Clarksville by the Monkees because my parents played their favorite music for me and my sister when we were really little and I’d dance to everything. I also really liked the Beatles and Kansas around that time but the Monkees pops into my head more easily.

8. what’s the grossest food anyone has ever tried to make you eat? (and did you eat it?)

OH GOD I’M SCARED OF TRYING NEW FOOD WHEN IT’S NOT MY IDEA. 

No, seriously, I actually cannot think of an answer to this question because I am so afraid that I’m not going to like something new/want to vomit when I try it that I actively avoid trying things when someone tries to shove a forkful of something in my face or encourages me to eat it. So any new food is gross. I get so pissed off when my bf or my parents do this because they KNOW I don’t like to try things unless I decide to do so, myself (because then I’ve mentally prepped and imagined what it tastes like and why it might be good) but they don’t understand my anxiety/aversion. They just think it’s a picky thing. It’s absolutely a ‘I am afraid of vomiting therefore I do not want to risk trying something that might make me gag especially in a public setting’. I don’t even have a strong gag reflex, I just have a texture thing and a phobia of vomit :/

I guess to phone in an answer- at the time cheesy potatoes were my worst enemy. I still don’t like cheese that much, but I’ve learned to like varieties of cheesy potatoes prepared well enough. 

9. would you rather never drink anything but water again, or never eat anything again besides the blandest, most boring necessities?

Ack, this is difficult. I suppose while I like water well enough I suppose I’d rather eat bland necessities because my palate is rather limited anyway and that’s kind of been my diet in general until recently when I’ve been experimenting with cooking. I don’t think I can live without soda or flavored carbonated water.... or alcohol. <.<

10. describe your dream home

Somewhere near an ocean where it’s cool enough that I can have the windows open to air out the house and somehow there are no bugs to fly inside. It’d smell like the ocean and i’d be able to hear it outside. The house would be big enough for my family but small enough that it isn’t too huge with lots of cozy living spaces, a game room, a huge sewing/craft room/office for me with more cozy seating while I work. It’d have a nice, well-stocked kitchen with a dining room close by surrounded by windows that look out at the sea. There’d be windows everywhere, basically, but all surrounded by thick, heavy curtains to draw when it gets dark. There’d be a screened-in patio with comfy deck furniture and maybe a minibar, that overlooks my own private pool (maybe an infinity pool!) and backyard oasis with lots of flowers and trees that mostly blocks anyone from seeing into the yard but has views of the ocean peeking through. The bedrooms would all be large enough and super comfy and my bed would be so, so soft and huge enough so I could fit my partner and several cats (and maybe a small, not smelly dog) comfortably. The master bath would be my own private sanctuary, with heated floors, some seating, a huge, gorgeous bathtub big enough for two people and a separate shower that has multiple heads. Y’know, rich people bathrooms. My pets would have everything they’d ever need (catios, lofty cat highways and lots of scratching posts and toys; a big enough side yard for the dogs to run around and maybe a built in doggy bath to get rid of dog smell lol). Oh, and the entire house would have one of those sweet Sonos sound systems so I could play music all day in each room. <3

That was long and specific...

11. i need u to come up with a brilliant, scathing insult that contains five words or less

Fuck... I can’t think of anything other than “Douchnozzle McCuntWhistle”. Its not scathing as much as it’s ridiculous but I love it.

NEW QUESTIONS:

1) If you could have any animal in the world (currently living or extinct) as your pet, what would it be and why?

2) If money were no object, what would your dream career be? 

3) How many hours of sleep would you get a night if you were free to sleep as much or as little as you wanted?

4) What’s more frustrating, having a great idea (for a fic, costume, song, presentation, anything) and being unable to produce it (either not having the means, motivation, funds, etc) or having all of your tools to create the thing at your disposal but not having any ideas?

5) Describe your favorite meal ever. Including dessert (if there is any).

6) What’s the most-used bookmark on your phone’s browser?

7) What chore do you absolutely hate and wish you would never have to do ever again?

8) It’s the end of your best day ever. What’s happening?

9) Would you rather go skydiving or climb to the top of mt. everest?

10) If you suddenly became rich beyond your wildest dreams, what would be the first thing you’d do with your money?

11) If you could master any skill on earth, regardless of what your current abilities are, what would it be and why?

Aaaaand I tag @magiccatprincess, @vashtijoy, @vagarius, @liarino, @angry-jewish-magical-girl, @cryptid-crusader, @metalliclioness, @amateurcatalyst, @thatlittledandere, @dazesprite and @nakedxtime <3

[pristinepastel]

5 Things About Me Meme!

Tagged by @awakaru ! This time i’ll tag the last few people in my activity- @robtari , @tavros-tardis , and @boundtoanandroid ! 5 Things You’ll Find In My Bag: -My sketchbooks(two of them. same kind but one is vertical and the other is horizontal) -My art supply box, which is pink and glittery and used to be a makeup box that i got for christmas one year -This probly counts as two things, but my plusle and minun plushies! i also have a plusle keychain. -I have a calligraphy pen w/ multiple nibs that I haven’t used very much yet. I’ll hopefully start using it and improving when i start college this fall! -And finally, my tablet with bluetooth keyboard. No mouse or pen for it but that’s fine for now. One day though… 5 Things You’ll Find in My Bedroom: Too many things;; -I have a book bag that I only use when I travel. When I’m at home though, it holds most of my plushies! Including a pachirisu that lost an ear. Which I. Kiiind of fixed? I tore off a scrap piece of a purple scarf and sewed it over the hole with yarn. Maybe I’ll take a pic later, lollo -I keep a cat cube on my bed near my feet. It’s purple and pink, with a leopard print. The outside is a kind of messy texture, while the inside has a soft carpet on the bottom. The cats don’t normally use it but when they do i try to take pictures! -My favorite blanket! I use it to stim. When I was at high school I’d usually take it with me in my bag, as well as my scarves. It was helpful for taking naps during commons, especially after a bad insomnia bout. Also helpful during my depressive episodes- even if I’d still end up going home early sometimes. -I have various posters put up in my room- including some prints from juicyink on youtube, a kingdom hearts 2 poster i got from when borders was still around, a print of Vincent Valentine that I got in the Artist Alley at colossalcon last year, a print i got from a caricature artist i got on my birthday as well as the caricature he made of me, and some old fashioned prints made on corkbord which kind of remind me of lowbrow fantasy art. I don’t know how old they are, I think my mom got them for me at a flea market? -I also have some old drawings of mine on my walls. I used to have a lot more of my older older pics, but i took them down because I wanted to start fresh. These were from my senior year i think? So far it’s just drawings of Osiria and Dahteste so far lollo -I lastly have my desktop computer! It’s a p big screen. My dad got me a new screen, keyboard, and pc box for my birthday, after I told him I wanted mass effect andromeda once it came out. For the specs he said. He’s very enthusiastic about that sort of thing;; 5 Things I’ve always wanted to do in life: -Become a concept artist/character designer -Write a story/Draw a comic about my characters(sadly my imagination is more abstract and my minds not v suited for concrete scripting lollo) -Somehow meet and help my characters in real life. I know that’s impossible, shoosh -Become a side character in someone else’s story/video game. Not physically of course- I mean I want to play as the sort of character that supports the protagonist and helps them get a good ending. -Become a voice actor! I really enjoy the thought of my voice bringing a character to life. I’ve tried auditioning before, but I’m not very confident in online auditions like that cus my mics not the best;; 5 Things That make me Happy: -Philadelphia roll with smoked salmon, avocado, and cream cheese! My fav sushi yums;; -My cat Molly! her purrs sound like a pigeon or a dove coping and she’s so soft -Comforting and emotional characters!! Like Cole, Sandal, and Dog from Dragon Age, Jaal from me:a, Legion from Mass Effect, Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter, Lee from Naruto, Dogmeat from Fallout, etc. -My Mom gives really good hugs and she’s really good at emotional support! She understands what I go through cus she has depression and anxiety too. We even take some of the same prescription! I like her more than Dad cus he gets angry sometimes and I can’t really predict when that happens. He’s not hurting me or anything, he just gets loud and that makes me a lil nervous is all! -Conventions! I’m not really equipped for big social events usually, but these are usually the exception. You don’t really talk to people one on one, and you don’t have to be afraid of being the center of attention. Even buying stuff is easier cus no ones judging you for how much you’re buying or how long you’re at one booth! 5 Things I’m Currently Into: -My mutuals/followers may or may not have noticed the posts about witchcraft ehe;; It started with me researching stuff that one of my brain friends, Elisa, is into. She started out with just general tarot reading, which then developed into her actually being a witch, which led to me discovering i really enjoyed the subject lollo -Dungeons and Dragons podcasts like The Adventure Zone and Godsfall. that is too many capital letters;;; -Modern Girl In Thedas fanfics. I especially enjoy the ones where the protag discovers no one in thedas speaks english. Sometimes people write it so english is qunlaat, but my fav is that the protag has to work at learning common on their own. -I’ve gotten into playing more mobile games again, now that i have a phone that can support them;; I now have Love Live SIF, Fallen London, and the new ver of Kingdom Hearts X(fyi the x is pronounced cross in english- in japan its pronounce chi!) -I’ve been watching doodle videos lately. They’re vids where the artist just doodles random lines and patterns and shapes to fill an entire page. Sometimes there are mandalas too! Sometimes the artist talks quietly and motivationally during it like Bob Ross. if you’re curious one of the artists i’ve been watching recently is called Peter Draws on youtube! 5 Things on My To-Do List: -Finish prepping all the paperwork for starting college. I’ve been accepted, but there’s still financial paperwork to fill out lollo -Make a grimoire/book of shadows/book of mirrors. Atm, all my witchy notes are in my phone. I plan to make a cutesy decoden grimoire once i’m actually in school! -Start doing physical stuff like yoga and walking. School has a public yoga class available, and the campus has a lot of places where i can take breaks if i start feeling light headed due to the scoliosis. I’ve downloaded pokémon go preemptively to help w that -Prepare for june’s various activities! This year i’m not just going to colossalcon- I’m also going to volunteer at a convention in DC! ooo I’m so excited and i wanna pack immediately even tho i know it’s not for a month yet lollo;; my mom is also in this mood - Mmmaybe get a spirit companion? Dunno for sure yet. Not sure if my social anxiety also applies to the ethereal. A bit nervous about the constant-ness of the interaction. Need to research the subject a bit more lollo 5 Things People May Not Know About Me: -I’m really disorganized. So much so that i can’t close my closet door due to the clutter in front of it;;; -Physically speaking, I am only 5'6", I have a lazy eye, and mild scoliosis. My right canine tooth is broken as well.Im kind of self conscious about my teeth so my smiles are usually closed mouth. I also have problems with hygiene, for various reasons- for general cleanliness i just forget to shower sometimes/don’t have the motivation for it. As for the teeth, my sensory issues make it so i very much hate toothpaste. That’s why my teeth are so bad;; speaking of- -I have various mental issues. I have depression and anxiety, which has been clinically diagnosed. My psychiatrist also suspects i have mild autism or aspergers, but the test people never got back to us so heck if we know for sure. My mom, a couple of my friends, as well as me all agree i seem to have it. I also believe i have maladaptive daydreaming. This is a condition that makes it so I have very detailed imaginary worlds in my head- so detailed in fact that I get very attached to the characters in them, who I call brain friends. The daydreams get so detailed and involved that it’s sometimes hard for me to focus on stuff like reading or sleeping. Which exacerbates the insomnia i already have lollo. It’s easier for me to read fanfics than published stuff as a result, cus fanfics are basically written dreams in that sense? i’m also p bad at explaining myself with words lo l l,o;; -Despite most of my posts being happy ones, i tend to have p bad depressive episodes. I try not to vent on here though cus i’m self conscious about how others interpret that. It makes me feel manipulative. I also have trouble with asking my parents for stuff for the same reason;; -I started the positivity tag on election night. I was really shaky and anxious, but all of that was trapped inside and i couldn’t cry, so i just felt stuck there(i now suspect i was disasociating at the time?). I started reblogging all these happy posts to cheer myself up, and thanking all the people who were putting them on my dash. That’s why my positivity tag is ‘thank you’! :^)