#it took me until well into adulthood to realize how weird that was

[sillysongwithlarry]

I always check the vibe when introducing myself. Like, do I use my playful name or my serious one.

So I’ve discovered by legally keeping my maiden name that actually in 90% of situations (anything that doesn’t require an ID and isn’t a legal or financial document) you can use your husbands last name “socially.”

So now it’s fun it’s like which name is the vibe for this volunteer sign-up sheet?

[yellowcry]

Encanto Headcanons book!

Born out of me and my mut gossiping about headcanons instead of sleep. But does anyone want a good shred of headcanons organized

Headcanons about triplets childhood

Alma always struggled to allow triplets out of her sight. Even when they were adult. It was worse during their childhood. They probably didn't sleep alone at all until five. And even then, Alma checked on them several times her night/suggested triplets to stay in her room for a night more often than not until their teenage years.

Subsequently, Alma was very close to all of her kids.

Pepa is the most social and open. Julieta is quiet, but had a few friends.

Bruno was the original golden child. Being adored because his gift could predict attactk like that what happened in their old town. He started to lose reputation because his gift often showed unimportant and minor things.

Julieta was the first to start using her gift on a regular basis. Of course she didn't feed the entire town at five. Only her family or people that had to interact with Alma. And she didn't cook alone. Alma always made sure to watch over her and teach Julieta. Pepa and Bruno joined too sometimes.

Alma is very squeamish. Hence why Julieta healed people who contacted with her so Alna wouldn't pass out. The same way she has trouble with touching gross or smelly things.

Alma found it very hard to take care of baby triplets. Both because of trauma and being grossed out by dirty diapers and orher mess.

Because of this Alma often felt like she's a bad mother.

Pepa would run into the patio wherever in rained to play before her gift ceremony.

Nobody really cared about the candle until five years later.

Casita was the one to tell Alma that triplets should touch the Candle. As well as keeping kids away from their doors for the time being.

The white costumes at the ceremony started as a simple clothes for celebration that just happened to be done right for triplets' fifth birthday. It became tradition with the grandkids too.

Alma had never tell anyone, but she was dying from panic in the moment when Pepa got a cloud after touching a doorknob. She thought that it much be some sort of a magic curse or that they would pay for being saved. It's part of the reason why Alma became so focused on serving community in the end.

When the triplets had realized Pepa could make clouds and rainbows, Julieta and Bruno immediately started to guess what their gifts were according to the room. Julieta thought it's related to plants, because of the healing herbs on her door. Bruno thought he can time travel.

It took several days to discover Bruno's gift. And almost a month for Julieta. Which happened only because she helped Alma at tbe kitchen at some point.

Pepa and Agustín were best friends since they were kids. Mostly because of how often Pepa was looking for troubles. Agustín was the only one who could windstand it, because it was his normal amount.

Felíx wasn't very close with any of the triplets. He knew them and stuff because it's a small isolated community, but wasn't a childhood friend to them.

The triplets had considered Casita as their quadruplet. Probably often called it like this during their childhood. And still thought like this during their adulthood.

Everyone can interact with Casita.

Pepa and Julieta were both secretly jealous of Bruno at some point because of the boy privileges he had.

Pepa once got herself and Agustín sick when making snow as a birthday gift for her siblings.

Triplets were pretty much respected in the community even if they or their gifts caused problems. Thee were some kids that insulted Pepa for causing bad weather or claimed Bruno as weird, but they weren't totally hated by everyone. Adults, even those who disliked their gifts, had a huge love and respect just for the fact that Pedro's sacrifice saved them.

Julieta has the best lying skills. As she's very calm and collected person. Pepa and Bruno always get themselves out before even finishing. She definitely had to save her siblings countless amount of time.

Bruno had never learned how to swim. He's frequently being teased for it

Pepa was very picky with her food as a child. She keeps it as an adult but can control herself. The first storm had happened because Alma made her eat an orange. Pepa hates oranges.

Used to have a secret language between them

The triplets' started to actually work in the village around their middle to late teens.

Bruno would often say socially impropriate things and then be confused at people's reaction.

[buddieisgoingcanon25]

Sorry, I came back to the start and added this bit because it is long and I apologize for that.

On the subject of the discussions of Bi-Buck and Queer Eddie, to me, it makes sense that Buck would be the first to lead that direction and that is how they decided to play this story line. Buck reminds me a lot of me in regard to being a relatively open person and not disliking someone for who they are. If we’re to believe that Buck was pretty much ignored for the most part as a young teen to young adulthood by his parents, he would not have had the same influence someone like Eddie would have whose family was pretty much very involved with. So Buck realizing that he likes women AND men, wouldn’t have been that big of a deal to him. Like with me, it was more of a “okay, so to me it doesn’t matter man or woman, as long as they care for me and are a good person”

We see the opposite now with Eddie’s religious trauma/guilt and the way he was so hesitant for therapy. Eddie tells his father that he is going to therapy to be better for himself and Christopher because he now realizes that the way he grew up was NOT healthy. Eddie going to therapy was him taking further steps away from the box of his family’s influence (leaving Texas was the very first step outside, and when he left the box, he just stood there right outside of it) There is evidence that he himself still has yet to process Shanon’s death as well as her wanting a divorce, because when Shannon died, Christopher took precedence. I don’t doubt Eddie was into Shannon, and at one point, he probably was very much in love with her. I think he mentioned she was his best friend at one point. And even with them being separated and her abandoning Chris, he did still love her, even if the trust he had once had for her was broken when she left. I don’t think Eddie has commitment issues. He is committed to his son and his job. His friends, especially his relationship with Buck. What Eddie’s problem is, he is looking for the wrong things in a partner. We all know it because we are the observers from the outside.

In the end, I have hope that Tim, Ryan, and Oliver have had a lengthy discussion on if they want this to happen or not. Ryan saying he wanted that platonic relationship between male friends is valid and is important. But also, if Buddie does happen, it parallels with Eddie and Shannon. Their relationship started out on the basis as they are friends, and they dated and Shannon ended up pregnant. Buck is Eddie’s best friend now, and they have that connection that could move from platonic to something more. I agree with Ryan that it is important for platonic male relationships that allow both parties to be vulnerable with each other are important. That is the only way we will help end toxic masculinity. However, I think it is also important to show that relationships that began from platonic friendships can be some of the strongest relationships. All the other pairings (minus Maddie and Chim even though it was clear that they were both romantically interested in each other from the start they remained friends until she was ready to move on from an abusive relationship) started out as romantic interest right out of the gate.

If Buddie happens the way I hope it happens, I have to believe that for both Buck and Eddie, it will be a little “Oh, there you are. I’ve been searching for you.” moment. It may even not be a huge crisis, but more something that has Eddie going to Frank like “so I am in love with my best friend. It doesn’t weird me out like I feel it should. But what worries me is he is such an important part of my life, of my son’s life, I couldn’t handle losing him”

Sorry for just seeing this now. I was at work and couldn’t look at my phone. Great right up anon.

[poledancingdinos]

You know when you reach that point in the story where you've put a placeholder for future you to deal with except that now you are future you and you still don't want to deal with it so you make a tumblr shit post instead? 🤣

Presenting 'The evolution of how Dino comes up with character names' because I don't want to deal with this:

Amber Hamby - Girls' Night Out:

I looked through the baby names book my parents bought in the early 90s in search of an anglophone name that could be pronounced by a francophone without getting completely butchered. As you can see, I didn't make it passed the first chapter 😝

After her first name was established, I wanted a last name that would make my character pass off as American born. I took this one from True Blood because I liked how it sounded with the name Amber.

Riley McKenzie - You've Got Me Hooked:

I started by researching gender neutral baby names because this was an important plot point in the first draft.

Once that was chosen, I wanted a name that sounded uncommon enough that it would make it recognizable to the more upper society crowd her parents are supposed to be from. I decided to continue with names from the same general region and settled on McKenzie after studying each possible variation of how to spell it and choosing the one I thought looked nicest. I also called her brother Arthur because I had read a series of romance books set in Scotland and loved the name Artair.

Apparently through all this I didn't realize that Riley McKenzie was the name of a character from Supernatural because I've been on tumblr since 2012 and somehow never watched that show.

Jessie Louise Delaney - Soundtrack of Debauchery:

I put my own name as placeholder instead of my normal XXX or Blah Blah because it was loosely inspired by my experience in music festivals (although for some reason I used the nickname that no one has ever actually called me except for the immigrant mothers of my childhood friends? No clue why everyone else just called me Jess while they preferred Jessie but clearly I liked it enough that that memory has followed me into adulthood).

Anyway, I forgot to change it before I posted it and didn't realize until I sent a screenshot of a nice comment someone left me to my friend and he said "lol, why did you use your own name?". Too late to change it now 🤷‍♀️

For her middle name (which was added on once I realized this was now a recurring series), I wanted something that sounded slightly more dated because I imagine it being sort of a family name that got passed on but not so dated that you would find it weird if you heard it in this day and age.

The last name I just pulled from the author of a booktok book that had me in a damn choke hold. The fourth book of her series features a poly relationship where the two guys hate each other but both deal with it out of love for the same girl so it must have felt fitting I guess.

Leah Coleman - Hostile Territory:

So I read the Twilight series in French because my teacher at the time wanted me to stop reading in English (I was in a Francophone school and only learned to read English in 3rd grade but literally never switched back unless mandated for school). Because of this, my friend and I had no idea how to actually pronounce Leah. I thought I had a vague memory of seeing it before and it being pronounced like Lee while she was Lebanese and had simply never encountered that name before. Anyway I literally forgot about that until the movies came out years later and I was like

So anyway I decided that was going to be my character's name.

Her last name I chose from a long list of American names based on how I imagined Sy barking out her name with his captain voice. She was going to go by her last name for most of the story so it needed to sound right. I also liked that it fit well with her short first name. Leah Coleman had just the right amount of syllables. I followed the same pattern when naming her father (Gage) and her brother (Caleb).

Bonus!

Haley - Sugar Lips:

It was moanable.

If you've made it this far thank you for indulging my procrastination! Maybe drop a name suggestion in the comments?

[kurosstuff]

Nico Robin x reader: can't ever compare

Warning(s): angst, another unrequited fic(I love this troupe)

Loves weird.

The conclusion Robin came up with growing up that stuck in adulthood is that love is weird and cruel in its own ways. She's seen from the people she's traveled with- encountered that love ends terribly for most people.

As well as end wonderfully.

Robin didn't ever think she'd feel that - be in love with anyone in such a way. Until she met you. A member of the crew who joined before her. Who stayed close to her to try and make her as comfortable as possible. The only one who stayed in the library with her to read with her. Smiling fondly at the memories you both held there. How she would read you books, and you'd fall asleep on her half way through- surprisingly never upset or uncomfortable. Knowing what she knows now maybe that was a sign.

Robin is smart. The smartest one in the whole crew, but how could someone know the exact feeling they held for another if they never felt it before. She never knew why she felt sad without you near her. How empty the library was when you weren't there beside her. Robin couldn't figure out why she got so uncomfortable when someone flirted with you- she guessed it was cause you're her best friend. Nami would snicker at the comments she'd make about the person like she knew something

Once she realized the thing she felt for you was love. She stayed by yourside more- helped out more. Did whatever she could to catch your attention- cause love makes you do things you wouldn't normally do before. Before Robin wouldn't care if anyone paid attention to what she could do so long as they wouldn't leave her. But this time- she wanted you to see what she could do. See how well she can do it- deep down, she guesses this part stems from her fear of being abandoned yet again. She feared if you left it would hurt much worse.

She knew you'd never do such a thing. You helped her comforted her when she dreamt of that place-

-

Robin held your shirt in a tight hold, curling into you- sobbing uncontrollably. Rubbing her back gently as she buried her face into your neck "please-" her voice slurred- hoarse from her cries. "Please don't leave me." Rocking her back and forth on the bed gently she kept mumbling the word 'please' over and over again

"I won't leave you, Robin. Not now, not ever." You whispered in her hair. Your heart breaking from the noise of relief Robin made once you said that. How she relaxed more in your arms before she finally fell asleep.

-

Robin knew you'd come back if you had no choice but to leave. Like now when Luffy wanted you to come with to some island. Saying he wanted to introduce you to a friend of his- when anyone asked, Luffy just smiled and said "Its a surpise!"

The weeks you were gone were torture. Robin felt weird being anywhere on the Sunny. In the little library, they had felt empty without you there - like something or someone was missing. Nami took to teasing her every now and again, reminding her, "They'll be back soon- don't worry," and grin amused when Robin would look towards the door to the kitchen. Like she's expecting you to push through the door

When you finally came back- you weren't alone. You and Luffy were with someone new. Nami looked at her in almost a pity look- Robin cleared her throat and introduced herself.

Weeks turned into months. Robin grew worried - the pit in her stomach growing at an unnerving feeling. Were you even coming back? She shook that thought away as soon as it came. You would come back. You promised her. You promised you wouldn't leave her - sure maybe you didn't mean it in the way she wanted, but she happy to play the best friend anytime.

Robin hummed as she put her book down- looking out the small window in her room. Maybe she does have a chance? Maybe if she tells you whenever you come back how she feels. How she really feels. Maybe. Just maybe you'll feel the same

Robin's not blind. She knows that look in your eyes- she knows all too well. It's the same look she gives you. The lovestruck look. The heartache was worse than knowing it was a possibility. Possible you may love her back. But when you look at her that way?

How could Robin compare to Boa Hancock? The one everyone wants? The most gorgeous woman ever. It's no wonder she caught your attention- even though it wasn't the only thing that really caught you. It was everything about her. The way you talked about her- how kind she is to you- how funny she is.

She always bit back her words, "What's so great about her?" In jealousy. How can she be jealous? She never had a chance in the first place. You never loved her anyway - not the way she loves you at least.

She'll keep her feelings down. Keep them hidden. Robin rather you in her life then actually lose you cause this isn't your fault. This isn't her fault either.

No one can control who they love, not matter how much they'll try.

She just wants you to be happy. Even if it's not with her

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

Thinking About Tiffany Pollard Today

Tiffany "New York" Pollard. I know that a lot of people have a lot of opinions about her, but I, for one, feel like we "came up" together. I watched her from the time she was just some girl fighting for Flavor Fav through many twists and turns, some of which happened for all of us to see.

I remember whenever she was facing backlash for her transphobic statements and how taken aback she was by it while everyone pounced on her, and whenever I saw the interaction, I immediately thought, "Oh. She thinks that this is just part of the gig, because of how she was handled when she arrived on the scene." And. Ultimately, I wound up being right, like I usually am (TS Madison confirmed for me basically everything that I had said about the situation).

Tiffany was frequently called a man, a tranny, transvestite, and a drag queen, and it was something that I remember her embracing and never getting mad or upset, saying that these people are fabulous, just like me, etc. So, whenever she's asking that woman about being a man and having certain genitals, she quite literally thought that this is just part of people thinking/saying that you are or look like a man.

Maddie had to explain to her that the people who were speaking about her in those ways were also being transphobic, to which Tiffany was confused, because 'How can somebody be being transphobic to you if you aren't trans?' They are conversations that she didn't seem to have had before, and her trans friends got her together about it and she was able to learn moving forward. (As of now, I don't think that since then she has ever had a similar incident and she still seems to have the support and following of her trans friends and loved ones).

But, one thing that I think about every time Tiffany makes her way back into the spotlight is the fact that we are essentially the same age, but when I was spending my first semester in college, not realizing that I was wasting my time and money, she was getting started on her tract to becoming a "problematic fave" and resetting the course of reality tv.

She did so much that SHE was the star of Flavor of Love, and these were the days before they even CONSIDERED mental health or support. This woman, my age. Early 20s, getting into one of the most exploitative tv situations in history for a man twice her age, who embarrassed her on national tv TWICE, by loving all over her and then selecting someone else in the end.

The years following this debut as the HBIC of reality tv, we got to see a lot of her mom and their shaky relationship, we got to see her attempt to find love multiple times, and do various jobs. We got to see this woman who entered the business in the reality genre sort of stay in that arena for 2 decades. She has so many iconic moments, lines, reactions. There are people who have no idea what her voice sounds like, but they know things she's said because her face has been popular for memes for all this time. She even gets paid to do all of this.

But, she also always plays the villain role. She's always seen as a foe or an antagonist, because she was a hotheaded 23 year old when she first got on camera (maybe younger if it took them a while to record the show). And, I have seen over the years people trash her up and down. Yes, she has a very large fan base, as well, but she's gotten a lot of hate from then up until now, and I don't know if people actually think about the fact that she was in her early 20s whenever VH1 found her willing to pimp herself out to Flavor motherfucking Flav, who once again, is twice her age.

Even her moments of supposed healing (VH1's Family Therapy With Dr. Jenn) was put on TV for our entertainment. This woman really had a weird adulthood, because reality stars simply were not famous whenever she became a famous reality star, and reality tv was not as big or important as it is today. She didn't become rich from her Flavor of Love fame. She has what she has now specifically because she's always out there hustling and loaning out her personality/persona for her fame and fortune.

She set the bar for a lot of the reality tv tropes that we see today. Many of the girlies do not even realize that when they get on camera and they're tryna fit a certain reality role to get screen time, that they are simply emulating a woman who was just herself in her early 20s and was used as a formula that an industry was built upon. There were not many reality tv shows back then, but there were some and even though she wasn't the first, she is one of the first people who others after her decided that they would pick up characteristics from. She hasn't been able to be a full person in front of us and the moment she messes up, she is either met with people laughing at her pain or dragging her to hell for her mistakes.

Happy Birthday to that lady. She ain't perfect, but she has given us a lot and none of our asses ever really seem to want what's best for her. She's a character to most people. An avatar of reality that they watch to see what wild shit she'll do or say next. When, I know that there's a human woman there who I hope does have some grace in her life. Ionknow, Man. I just think Black women deserve some grace, even if they are imperfect people, but especially when their imperfections have been fodder for national audiences to laugh and chatter about, and for almost half of her life now. 

[queerprayers]

i'd really like to compliment the thoughtfulness and generosity of thought and time on your blog, first of all. i spent a lot of time reading it today, and it resonated with me a lot. i was raised by two atheists who are smart people in many ways but live in the 'all organized religion is dum and evil' camp. i've had to unlearn their beliefs/fight them on antisemitism and islamophobia for most of my adolescence and adulthood. in terms of personal faith, i have firmly believed for a long time that 'there is no god' is an ontologically unprovable belief that i could never feel comfortable espousing, but i still never understood the purpose of organized or personal worship until the last month. it took me many years that get that god is not an authoritarian dad looking over your shoulder and criticizing you but can be something a great deal more unknowable and complicated and on-my-side than that.

but i was wondering: do you have any advice for someone balancing their curiosity about faith and their weird nostalgia about the Rituals of catholic school with their fears that a) they are wishy-washily turning to it just for kicks in a year when they've lost a lot, and shouldn't talk to anyone about it, b) they are just unconsciously emulating their partner, who is a queer catholic with a personal theology they admire. i have always found something religion-shaped in mountains and rivers and the sky and the love of other people, and that's never going to change. but the idea that i could or do want Something Else , and that christian beliefs resonate with me, is scaring me because of all of the identity fluctuations i've ever experienced, it's not one i've thought i'd ever see. it feels like a very scary thing to talk to people about in real life, even though the two closest people in my life would both have a lot to discuss with me about it.

Welcome, beloved! Thank you for your kind words! I pray this will resonate with you as well.

I'm proud of you for working to unlearn some of your parents' beliefs—I really respect people who recognize the harm religion has done, but you're right, you can't condemn it inherently without bigotry/racism. We all have to choose what belief/tradition to take with us, and I admire you so much for recognizing that you'd have to leave that behind. And I love your changing understanding of God—there are many gods I don't believe in, and an authoritarian dad looking over our shoulders to criticize us is one of them! Acknowledging the Mystery is such a beautiful thing.

Curiosity and nostalgia and ritual-seeking are factors that bring a lot of people to faith! Those aren't stupid reasons—they're parts of you that recognize something meaningful there, and want to explore it! Similarly, many people turn to faith when they're hurting. This has definitely been painted in a bad light, but to me it makes so much sense. It's so much easier to claim you understand the universe and everything's rational and knowable, when you're comfortable with where you are and confident in where you're going. Losing things brings a realization of our lack of control, our complete lack of knowledge in how everything works. Seeking more, seeking mystery when we are hurting is a completely reasonable response.

Seeking what we need, like comfort, in faith is not evil. We all need to be comforted, and believing in love is what many hurting people need. This doesn't mean religion is stupid—in fact, the fact that it seems to be the practice best equipped to help hurting people would point to it being one of the most valuable things of all! If a worldview can only accommodate people who are confident/in control/have everything they need, I don't think very much of it at all. (Of course I know there are many nonreligious worldviews that accommodate hurting people, and I respect them. I also know that there is organized religion that will take advantage of those who have lost things, and I condemn that wholeheartedly. Faith at its best, though, welcomes those hurting in a way I rarely see in other places.)

We don't want to create a faith practice that only serves us when we're hurting—but we should always carry our hurting with us as we find what we're looking for. Don't only hurt your way into faith—but bring the loss with you.

Whatever your reasons for being drawn to faith, even if you think they're bad reasons, are real reasons that can serve you. Wanting comfort/ritual is a completely natural response to the world, and finding what you need in practices that are designed for people wanting those things is the perfect reason to come to them!

Many people convert to their partner's religion—obviously there's lots of historical/cultural reasons for this, and in some cases it is out of pressure or because that's just what you do—but it's not crazy and doesn't inherently mean you lack autonomy. Getting to know someone deeply involves learning what they value and how they see things. Loving someone completely means loving those practices and perspectives. I think interfaith relationships are perfectly possible and healthy, but I can't imagine a relationship with someone of a different faith/worldview if I did not love theirs and they loved mine—I have trouble with friendships where that love is not present!

You admiring and caring about your partner and their faith has included listening to and learning about their faith, and seeing how they live it out—it makes complete sense that this draws you to this or similar faiths! You were brought up thinking that this is dumb and evil, and now you're in a relationship with someone who identifies with and practices a faith. Often people don't truly understand religion until they're exposed to someone who has it as part of them.

This is all to say that valuing a practice more because someone you love practices it is, of course, subjective and biased, and it is also beautiful and holy. Every faith is subjective and biased. I am Christian partially because my parents are Christian—because I was brought up in this faith, and it is my home. If you are connecting with something because it's something that's a part of your life (catholic school and now a catholic partner)—that's kind of how connection works? I don't know if that counts as "unconsciously emulating" but like, what's wrong with that? What's wrong with connecting to something so much, seeing it all around you, that you're drawn to it? (My favorite movies consist solely of movies I have seen, and they're all ones I watched at a point in my life when they were meaningful to me. These aren't stupid reasons to like a movie—they're the only reasons to like a movie.)

Honestly if a faith is not something that comforts you, not something that you're drawn to when you experience loss, not something that satisfies desires for ritual, not something that holds your childhood self close but also reflects your changing worldviews, not something that is a part of your life and that you've seen lived out in beautiful ways, I would actually advise against becoming a part of it! I would list these things as essential reasons! It doesn't mean you have to, but it means you have good reasons. This doesn't sound just for kicks—you're thinking about this a lot, and reaching out to someone for advice, and taking it seriously. And many faith changes happen kind of suddenly, anyway—this doesn't sound sudden, but if it was, there are many beautiful examples of people all at once realizing what they're meant for.

"Religion-shaped" is a great phrase! Whether or not you find your way to a specific practice, knowing that you have those connections and appreciations is beautiful and valuable. However your identity changes, whatever practices find their way into your life, you have mountains and rivers and sky and love. You have God, in whatever ways you learn to find Them.

It's acknowledge it's scary to find your way to something your younger self would never have guessed! We surprise ourselves sometimes, and it's terrifying! But I give you permission to be scared and to surprise yourself. To honor who you'd thought you'd be and to change. We know we can't see the future, but we still find ourselves arriving in a future we didn't see and being surprised about it. This change—let it break down more walls. This mystery that's always with you—welcome it as you unlearn and relearn.

Know that you can always change again. That opening up to people about something you might want doesn't mean you always have to want it. That beginning a practice is not a promise to always practice it. That breaking down walls doesn't mean you can never rebuild them, and saying a truth doesn't set it in stone.

It's so often easier to open up to people we don't have a personal relationship with! I'm so grateful that what I write resonates with you, but (sorry) we still don't actually know each other, and you also have the space to be anonymous—that's probably really nice for you right now! Me and most of the queer people I know came out to random people on the internet before people in real life—inherently because we cared about/knew them less. Those we care about most can be the scariest to open up to, because we have the most riding on their response. Of course I encourage you to tell them at least some of what you've told me—it sounds like they'd love to hear about it and would accept these changing parts of you. Don't wait till you have it all figured out to share it—that won't really ever happen, and I'm guessing you'll regret not letting in as you figure it out. But give yourself grace, honor your privacy and time. They're there when you're ready.

It's scary to change, it's scary to question our worldviews, it's scary to admit our vulnerabilities and our need for something greater than ourselves, it's scary that people might think you have bad reasons for your beliefs/choices. But the people that you love you want your fear too. They know you'll change—everyone does. If they only loved you if you stayed static, if you only made logical unbiased decisions, if your circumstances didn't affect what you value—that's not loving a person. It sounds like you trust them and know that they would welcome these questions and want to talk about them. Go to the mountains and the rivers and the sky and go to them, the love of other people. That's where God will be—with you already, walking with you on the road, and there waiting for you. (There's a trinity right there!) Mystery and paradox and comfort and ritual and the simplest and most terrifying thing in the world.

I'm in your corner. I don't know the road ahead of you but I know you have so much beautiful time. I can't see the future but I know it will surprise you. God be with your going out and your coming in, from this time forth forevermore. May your ways be safe and your homecomings joyful. Now we know in part, but someday we will know fully, even as we are fully known, face to face.

<3 Johanna

[thaminho]

How Dreamcatcher’s ‘Demian’ took inspiration from Hermann Hesse’s 1917 novel of the same name

A short lyrical analysis by thaminho (~700 words)

Just looking at the title alone makes it easy enough, for someone who knows the book, to come to the conclusion that it had to have been an inspiration while writing the lyrics, although it still took me a day to make that connection, but what exactly are the thematic and textual parallels?

To start off here’s a quick summary of Hesse’s novel Demian (it’s extremely short and leaves out details not relevant for this analysis):

The book follows the protagonist Emil Sinclair’s life from his early school years up until young adulthood. He starts off as having a strict dialectical world-view: His secure and familiar home-life represents the proper and devout, the unfamiliar, forbidden and sinful side however seems more alluring to him; Sinclair is first confronted with this second side by being bullied in school.

Eventually an older student, Max Demian, saves him from this situation and becomes a sort of mentor figure for him. Over time, guided by Demian, Sinclair begins questioning the current antiquated world-views and societal norms, straying more and more from Christianity/Christian purity. While meeting more like-minded individuals he realizes, that a fundamental, societal shift of the whole system has to happen and that it can only happen through its destruction and eventual rebirth.

Trying to find his own path in life, free from conditioned thinking and biases, still guided by Demian (among others) this shift happens: The First World War breaks out. Demian and Sinclair both get recruited and wounded in battle. Seeing Demian pass away Sinclair realizes he doesn’t need him as external guidance anymore, he has become one with him, having taken an important step of individuation.

Now to compare the book plot to the song lyrics. As reference I used my own translation of the song which you can also find on my blog or through the link at the bottom of this post; the text in 'air-quotes' are literal quotes from that translation.

In both works you can find a personal plot line as well as an over-arching more general one; I’ll start with the former:

As in the beginning of the novel the speaker of the song is in a miserable situation, their ‘mind obscured’, and looks towards a Demian to guide them (Verse 1: ‘Stay with me tonight this is a nightmare’). They want him to ‘stay with [them] forever’ until ‘the end of the world’ because they are ‘only filled with rage’ and need guidance.

However, they are hinting at a future without someone to guide them by implying their Demian ‘seem[s] like a fantasy’ but will disappear eventually, as ‘reality is spiteful’, thereby referencing Demian’s death and the speakers need to find their own path alone, which in the situation the speaker is currently in still seems unachievable.

Interwoven between these verses are the ones referencing the novel’s more general plot of societal change: They need to ‘break this elaborate [system]’ in order for it to change, this dysfunctional system putting people in ‘difficult situations’ that make them ‘corrupt each other’, where there is ‘evil growing on its own’.

While in the novel the system refers to an extremely traditionalistic, Christian puritan culture devoid of any so-called earthly pleasures, room for creative development and ultimately humanity, the system in this song might refer to the pollution of earth as driver for climate change, thereby tying the song to the rest of Dreamcatcher’s Apocalypse albums. That’s also the reason for the appeal-like verses telling the listeners directly never to stop fighting as small action are all it takes to continue (see Verse 2).

Lastly the line ‘breaking the egg’ in the pre-chorus might seem weird at first or like a translation error, however it is directly referencing the most famous quote of the novel.

„Der Vogel kämpft sich aus dem Ei. Das Ei ist die Welt. Wer geboren werden will, muss eine Welt zerstören“, which translates to

“The bird fights its way out of the egg. The egg is the world. Who wants to be born has to destroy a world”

It symbolizes the epiphany, that the necessary massive societal change is tied to an equally massive sacrifice at the expense of the current system. While in the novel the anachronistic, stiffly conservative culture is destroyed by the First World War, one can only imagine what kind of destruction event the lyricist of this song had in mind for the current capitalism-based pollution system.

[bigbadripley]

Chapter 1 - See Me

Marc Spector&Co. x Female!OC, Friend!Matt Murdock

Summery: Everything changed after Marc and Simone moved to New York. Being in a relationship with the Fist of Khonshu proved to be difficult enough without the added obstacles of normal relationships being forced into the mix. With seemingly irreconcilable differences overhead, fate’s plans continue to drive the pair back into each other’s lives, testing their patience, self-control, and new relationships. Is it truly written in the stars, or is it old habits taking over?

18+!! | Third-person omniscient | Dark elements | AU/AT | Warnings: OC with religious trauma, childhood trauma, sexual trauma. Effects of trauma in adulthood. Alcohol mention and consumption, stalking, paranoia, suspense?, brief age-gap date mention.

Words: 2K

A/N: I update warnings with each chapter. Only proceed if you can handle the themes included in the warnings.

Minors DNI, DL;DR, if I miss a warning, please let me know.

Chapter List

"Call me selfish 'cause I got me and nobody else Give myself an envelope just like it's per diem  Twenty mirrors in my crib, I'm hangin' with my friends" -"See Me" by Rich Brian

If you had told Simone the year before what her life would be like now, she wouldn't have believed you. A year prior, she was getting settled into New York with the love of her life, starting her new specialty. 

Now? She's waiting outside a brunch place for her blind date to arrive. The date was her friend Jen's idea, as she would have never set up a date on her own. Not right now.

As she leaned against the stone wall of the restaurant, she scrolled through numerous photos of her now ex-boyfriend getting up to wild shit downtown. 

Is it weird to look at pictures of your ex while waiting on your date? She asked herself. Is this me trying to sabotage myself into pining and walking away from this opportunity? Probably so. 

The prospect wasn't lost on her, as it was how she handled things before. Attempt to move on, think about him, go back to him, real vicious cycle shit. Even though Simone could let go of toxic things and people that no longer served her for the entirety of her adult life, there were one to three that were much harder to release.

Catholicism, my mother, Ben, Oliver, my uncle, all those things I had no issue shoving away. Let's grow the list, shall we?

"Excuse me?" Simone's thought process was interrupted by a feminine voice that seemed much closer than it was. She lifted her head and dropped her phone back in her bag to see a dark-haired young woman approaching. They locked eyes for a moment, and the woman smiled. 

Oh, she's cute. Seems sorta young, though. Hopefully, she's not my date.

Before Simone could think back over if Jen had told her the age of her day's conquest, the woman spoke up again. "I'm supposed to be meeting someone. Simone?"

Shit, she is my date. What was Jen thinking? Hot? Big time. But young! What the fuck!

"That's me," Simone said with a nervous smile. "And you are?"

"Kate Bishop." The girl responded with an extended hand. It took a moment, but Simone realized she recognized the name from one of her patients mentioning her. If Kate was his friend, she was just as young as she thought.

The date went well, but the ten-year gap between them lingered over their heads until Simone finally brought it up before she paid for the meal. Undoubtedly, if Simone were younger or Kate was older, they would have hit it off a lot better. They agreed it would pose a problem before they parted ways. 

As Simone left the restaurant, she decided to call Jen.

"So, how'd it go with Kate?" Jen asked as soon as she answered. 

"It went fine, but never set me up with a 24-year-old ever again," Simone said, slightly lowering her voice as she passed by a group of people on the sidewalk next to her. 

She knew it was ridiculous, seeing as Simone didn't seem obviously older, but she couldn't help but cringe at the idea of going any further with a woman under the age of 28, at the very least. It was a matter of letting poor Kate live her best young life. 

Jennifer apologized to Simone and explained that it wasn't something that crossed her mind and wouldn't happen again. As they got off the phone, Simone took a deep breath and let in as much New York air as possible.

Before she left London, she walked every morning. Now, she walks whenever possible, which is easy in the city. When it's too cold for longer distances, she takes the subway and avoids taxis as often as possible these days. 

When Simone turned a corner to return to her apartment building, she ran face-first into a smoke cloud that nearly made her vomit. She used to not mind cigarette smoke and found it comforting in many ways. Nowadays, she can't even so much as stand in the same room as someone with the scent of tobacco on their jacket.

The time turned seven-ish, and Simone arrived at Josie's to meet with her patient slash attorney, Matthew Murdock. Attorney by day, devil of Hell's Kitchen by night. Fifty-percent good Catholic boy, and the rest is a total manwhore. She couldn't blame him, though. He can smell pretty girls from a mile away.

Murdock already had her a seat saved and a glass of water ordered while he waited for her. His idea of "seven-ish" was around 6:50, while her's was 7:05. It was the usual ritual of banter and beverage, their relationship being one of the symbiotic sorts. She provided psychiatric advice for the low-cost fee of Matt being her lawyer if she ever dimmed the lights on the wrong person. 

How they met was nothing to write home about. Simone was new in town and opened her office directly next to his law practice. Her only reason for knowing of Matt's second identity was because they were both bound by privilege, attorney-client, and doctor-patient. 

The other part of the bargain was Murdock's agreement to keep an ear on the street for happenings with Simone's former flame. She knew she didn't need to keep up with him and probably shouldn't, for her own sanity, but she couldn't shake the feeling of responsibility for her old friend. 

"Mr. Knight took out a brood of vampires last night. Spared a few of them." Murdock told her as he sipped his beer. 

"Great," Simone said sarcastically. "There's vampires now?"

"Yeah, they're, uh, interesting." He replied with a slight chuckle as she ran her index finger over the condensation around her glass. This subject made her miss drinking, but she lost the taste for it around the same time she grew disgusted with cigarettes. 

"Well, expect Mr. Knight to do away with them soon enough. They directly contradict his belief system." She said, still dead-eye focused on the water gathering along the cup. Vampires attacked travelers of the night; therefore, they were meant to be exterminated. 

Murdock cocked his head at this curiously. "I thought he was Jewish?"

"Spare me." She snickered. "He's the 'high priest' of the 'church of Khonshu' these days. Not really keeping kosher." She paired a few words with air quotes that Murdock could feel but not see. "Hopefully, he's too occupied with the bloodsuckers to show at the gala."

The gala that Simone was referring to was the Hellfire Gala, the second annual, to be exact. It was a big deal in the powered community and hosted by the X-Men to showcase and fundraise. Like any other gala, everyone wears sleek and elaborate attire for funsies. Masked heroes show up masked but extra, and the people who are identifiable go all-out.

Simone didn't get an invite, but Murdock did and pulled his plus-one card to let her tag along. After all, what are friends for if not to get you into exclusive parties? 

"Speaking of, have you picked out what you're wearing?" Matt asked before finishing off his bottle. 

"Yeah, it's getting altered right now. Nothing super fancy, but enough for you to not be embarrassed to have me there."

"I'd probably be more embarrassed to show up by myself, truth be told." Matt joked. As Simone laughed at the comment, his focus turned to the sound of someone speaking on the phone outside the bar. 

Yeah, she's inside... drinking with some douche wearing sunglasses... I dunno, boss. Whatever it is, it's clear. Maybe tequila?

It was a masculine voice, and he couldn't quite make out the voice on the other end of the call. Murdock wasn't a gambling man, but he would bet he was the only person in Josie's wearing sunglasses, which meant someone was watching Simone. 

I'll have to look into this. He thought. 

"I'm ready to call it a night. You?" Matt asked the woman in his company. Simone agreed, and they headed out and down the street with locked arms. Simone knew Matt didn't need a guide, but it became a habit for her to appear to be leading him. 

When Simone got home, she did her usual routine of checking around her apartment for unwanted guests. The bathroom, cupboards, under the bed, in the closet, anywhere someone can hide. Unfortunately, she wasn't a stranger to someone waiting around for her, a fact that Matt didn't know as he suited up to pursue her stalker a block away. 

Once she confirmed the place was empty, she took off the day's outfit: a simple gray t-shirt and black jeans. She realized Kate didn't ask or seem to care about the markings on her face and arms but knew she no doubt noticed them. It was Simone's first date with them present. 

In the shower, she thought back to the dream she had the night before. Every fiber in her body wanted to see, touch, and kiss him, but the way he was before. The man she loved in London was different. She watched him change, slowly morphing from Marc Spector to Mr. Knight before her eyes. 

He accepted his role as his brain was dimpled by the fingertips of a God. First, Khonshu wanted Marc's body, and when he couldn't have that, he tried to condition him to take over the world. Once the dust settled on that charade, Simone had no choice but to leave. That decision was only partly selfish in her eyes because she had more significant issues to sort out. 

Meanwhile, Murdock stalked the streets as his secondary persona, Daredevil, in search of the stranger on the phone at the bar. After several unsuccessful sweeps and an inability to find the voice, he went downtown to the neighborhood with crescent moons painted on the sides of buildings. From there, he listened to the happenings in and around the Midnight Mission. 

His ears were trained inside the building, focused and searching for the voice he heard earlier when his concentration was interrupted. 

"Nice night." The familiar voice of Mr. Knight said, nearly startling Matt but not enough to make it look obvious. The man was behind him in an expensive suit, as usual. Murdock could feel the fabric rub against itself with each moment, each thread giving away the four-figure price without him so much as touching it. "For what do I owe the pleasure of your visit to my side of town?"

"Looking for someone that came through here. He doesn't seem to be around anymore, though."

"Description?"

"White hoodie, blue jeans, dark hair, Caucasian male." Matt pulled the depiction out of his ass expertly. 

What the devil didn't know was that Mr. Knight wasn't buying it. He had seen Horns around his congregation numerous times in the past few months but only found a moment to speak to him on this night. He suspected Simone had something to do with him, but what exactly? 

"I'll keep an eye out." Mr. Knight promised. "And give Simone my best, with ya?" 

Murdock knew he had been made but did his best to pretend he didn't know what the man was talking about. As he listened to Mr. Knight walk away, he realized he needed to find a way to explain this to the woman who sent him here. 

[in-mutual-weirdness]

@antiterfbutch , sorry people are being weird about your commentary, but you did really hit the nail on the head here re: the problem isn't minors having relationships with adults, the problem is an adult treating children like peers

My first foray into internet communities was an IRC channel for a game I was into as a high schooler. I was the second youngest person there - most everyone else was in their 20s or 30s. These people helped raise me in the "village of adults" kind of way. They were kind older presences in my life who bonded with me over our shared interest. They were willing to listen to what I had to say and lent me their experience and support when I needed it. I remember a particular incident when a post from a white supremacist on tumblr hit me where it fucking hurt, and I went to the community in tears. People were kind, and the channel admin took it upon himself to DM me cat pictures until I felt better.

Being around people like this helped me see a window into what adulthood could look like. They taught me how to interact in mixed age spaces, and being friends with some of them led to me meeting trans adults for the first time, in a way that directly aided my own gender realization and coming out years later. My experiences with them enriched my life, and greatly inform the way I speak to young people in my online and offline communities today. And this is precisely the kind of boundary I maintain with those young people. I take a mentor-esque role, offering advice and perspective, comfort and reassurance. I talk about my life to show them what adulthood can look like, and show them that queer and trans happiness is possible. I show interest in the things they're passionate about, and want them to do well and figure out good lives for themselves. I want to watch them become capable and fully realized people.

But most importantly, I do not seek support from them. The spaces which have a predominantly younger userbase, I don't talk about my life problems there. I don't vent there, I don't process shit there, and I don't take my interpersonal problems there. Those are for communities where the userbase is mostly adults like me. I especially don't talk to them about sex - that is for adults. There are kink and nsfw discussion spaces where I'm around college undergrads - while I'm clear to discuss sex around them because theyre 18+, I mostly talk about it from a sex ed perspective. In this way, we can be in this space and discuss our mutual interests on the topic while respecting their maturity and autonomy. But I am not treating them as peers whom I can flirt with as prospective partners. The way I talk about sex as a personal experience is different in spaces with different age ranges.

It is essential to be able to share space with each other because our communities are always going to be mixed-ages outside of rare self-selecting circumstances. The village of unaffiliated adults who supported me as a kid needs to also be there for other kids who're growing up and figuring things out. Everyone leads stronger and richer lives through healthy intergenerational community ties.

Saw a tiktok of a guy saying he doesn’t feel comfortable talking to minors because he’s 19. And it’s just. I’m so fucking tired of this.

And like to be clear, I’m speaking as a victim of pedophilia when I say: We need to get over this collective fear of endangering children. Because holy shit, this stuff is getting out of hand.

The average person is not a threat to a child.

And also!!! It is actually really really good for kids to have friendships with adults that aren’t their family.

Having friendships with adults when you’re younger prepares you for adult life in a better way then only interacting with adults that are family members or teacher as well.

And also if there’s any sort of weird behavior happening with adults or teachers, it’s very helpful to have unrelated adults, you can go to, and also have a model for what normal adults are supposed to look like.

And also! You’re just making it way easier for pedophiles to prey on children when you completely avoid interacting with them as an adult. Because kids are naturally inquisitive and curious. They are going to want to interact with adults and they are going to want to ask questions. And if the only adult adults that are willing to interact and speak with them or adults who have ulterior motivations. Guess what’s gonna happen.

Also on a more general note. Having a model for what a normal healthy adult is supposed to look like makes it way easier for kids to be able to recognize and identify when adults in their personal life are being weird.

[verdantglow]

that makes so much sense actually. i also am making some aus (unrelated) and am wanting to seperate them into little ficlets/art pieces/comics of the pieces that motivate me before even touching on an overarching story but also god is it difficult for me. if thats what works for you as well id definitely say treat it like that (also i would LOVE to see any animatics you do for this)

i personally am mostly watching the hermits doing their hermit crafting (currently watching 18 hermits simultaneously the hyperfixation is b a d) and a couple SOS members, though i plan to watch more of the creators. I've really only seen up to double life (all through grians pov), and i havent even finished that. in my defence, the "its for your secret soulmate" line utterly and completely destroyed me and i have NOT recovered since (i stopped watching his hermitcraft videos after that too until the start of s10).

i have made the resolution to go watch other povs but i need to finish his first rip.

ANYWAY BACK TO THE AU

How often do you think the vflarp games effect their out of game relationships? like obviously it led to them becoming friends and desert duo becoming "moirails" but like. Did double life cause a rift between grian and scar? has rendog being absent from the games had any significance on anything? (i havent watched further so i cant really give too many other examples). Do the winners get anything other than the satisfaction that they alone won?

absolute behemoth of an ask my bad

Yeah! There’s just something so appealing about being able to just jump around & do mini projects that go together rather than one huge one. I’m hoping it’ll hold off the burn out I inevitably get for my AUs. **stares off into the distance thinking about all my mega fics that only ever got three chapters** I get it being hard to break it down though! I hope you’re able to land at a place where you can create as easily & painlessly as possible. ^^

I feel you on the hyperfixation lol. I was doing that hermitblr survey that’s going around & realized that I watch every episode of a third of the server, & some to most episodes of another third. & there’s a handful in the final third that I’ve been meaning to watch, but haven’t gotten to because I’m so busy watching everyone else & thinking about fanworks. This season is just slamming all the good brain chemical buttons!

Tbf, “it’s for your secret soulmate” hit so fucking hard, I do not blame you an ounce for wanting to take a break after that! When you’re ready, I highly recommend Martyn’s 3rd life, it’s so good! I never quite got the Renchanting/Treebark hubbub as someone who’d only seen Grian’s perspective of that season, but after watching Martyn’s… The drama is just. So. Good. Martyn + Ren is just a combo of theatre kid lore nerds & it honestly slaps. Gem’s Secret Life is damn good as well, just ‘cause she got to be a chaos gremlin & we love to see it.

Oh yes, their VLARPing affects IRL relationships all the time! A lot of early relationships developed due to playing 3rd Life & those relationships continued on to influence who went on which ship once they reached adulthood! Obviously, we’ve got Scar & Griann, but also there’s Scohtt & Jimmie who became auspitices, & Wrehnn & Martyn who stick together & eventually become matesprits. Jimmie & Tangoh hit it off after playing Double Life as soulmates & eventually enter a [matespritship? Moiraillegance? Haven’t decided] as well. & of course, my beloved Boat Boys developed their weird whatevership around the same time. (Joel swears they’re pitch. Eethos never comments on it. The truth is somewhere around them being hate friends who are flushed for each other??? But fuck if you’ll ever get either of them to admit it.)

Things were pretty rocky for Scar & Griann after DL; the whole secret soulmate thing was a case of Griann being mildly annoyed with Scar & thinking he could get back at Scar/make Scar jealous. This blew up in his face ~*~spectacularly~*~ & it took quite a bit for things to heal between them. (Mummbo spent a lot of that time being very confused why the vibes on Scar’s ship were so fucking rancid until he managed to get Griann to fess up.)

There definitely is a plot related reason Wrehnn hasn’t been playing, but I’m holding back on finalizing anything until I get more of the out of game plot mapped out. But yes, that definitely affects/is an effect of things in game!

I think, much like in real life, winning is just for the prestige of it. Like, in this AU, the Life series is just a bunch of games they’re playing for the heck of it. Though this does make me think that I need to decide where these games come from, whether it’s a mass market thing or something Griann threw together or if maybe it came from some other outside influence. Hm…

[your-daily-biaswrecking]

I dunno if it's too late to make requests (and u can ignore this message if it is) but I have this idea that I'm completely incapable of writing, I was hoping for maybe..some kind of fantasy scenario where human reader meets fae or siren Taehyung once while they were both children and, maybe they kinda pinky promise to marry one another, only for her to have forgotten about the whole ordeal with time, maybe assuming it was all just her imagination, and years later into her adulthood he comes back, having never forgotten the reader? You can change this however you see fit in order to make it more your style, and smut isnt necessary of you don't want to add it in..😅 💕

You had heard about the stories. Heard about him. Perhaps that’s why you walked into the woods so late at night, with a full moon lighting your way. To see if they were true, or because you already believed them and wanted to see him. The woods, however, were empty and what an unsuspecting fellow would call normal. Undismayed, you sat by the big Oak tree until you felt your eyelids be weighed down from the weariness. For you were only eight and the night was growing older than you. From that point on, you were not sure if you dreamt of the boy or if he shook you awake, but you remembered the interaction like it was yesterday.

“You’re waiting for me.” Not a question but you still took it as one.

“No, I’m waiting for the fairy.”

The boy chuckled. He laid down next to you, eyes sparkling in the dark as if they were luminescent. “I like you. You’re pretty. It’s only why I appeared.”

You thought about all your classmates and your cousin’s friends. None looked like that boy. “I don’t know you.”

“Oh.” He shuffled closer until he could reach to extend a hand to you. “You can call me Taehyung.” You took his hand, introducing yourself as well. “I’m new here. Did I by any chance bother you or your folks? I apologize.”

You shrugged, looking away, still trying to catch a glimpse of the alleged creature that playfully appeared here and there to tease the townspeople. “You’re not bothering me. I don’t know about anyone else, though…”

“Haha.” The boy laughed in a forced way yet it felt genuine. Like he had indeed enjoyed your remark but laughter wasn’t a sound he could make by his nature. “I really like you. You’re very pretty,” he repeated. “Do you want to stay here with me forever?”

You eyed him from your peripheral vision. “You mean like… marry you?”

He frowned for a beat, analyzing your words. And then his face lit up— quite literally. “Yeah!” he chirped. “Yeah, something like that.”

You had never been proposed to before. Sure, you knew about all the boys that had a crush on you at school, and you knew about how cute you were because your parents and their friends always told you so. But Taehyung was better than all of them combined. “Okay,” you replied easily.

The young boy seemed so happy, reached out to grab a piece of your hair. And after a couple of sparks appeared, the strand had been cut off and was trapped between his fingers.

“Hey! What—”

Taehyung brought the strand to the side of his neck, pressing it against his skull, and with a couple more sparks, it was connected with his own hair. Standing out from his locks yet looking like he had grown it himself. “Now we’re married,” he said, speaking the word as if it was foreign to him.

“No,” you immediately interjected. “That’s not how people get married.”

“It’s not?”

You shook your head. “We need to walk down the aisle and have the pastor say I pronounce you husband and wife and kiss.”

“Kiss…” Taehyung gave it some thought. And then he snapped his fingers. “That’s right. We need to kiss.”

“And we can’t get married yet because we’re just children,” you continued to speak your wisdom to the confused boy.

“So when can we?”

“Hm…” You rubbed your chin because you had seen people do it on TV when they tried to think hard. “When we’re old. Like, old like my aunt! She is getting married next month.”

And the boy nodded obediently. “I can wait that long.” For your weird kind of ceremony. For his, you needn’t wait at all. All he needed was… a kiss. He leaned in, lips pursed and going straight for yours. And you gasped, getting up and running away, out of the woods, far from the boy you had just promised to marry.

You never saw him again. Which is why you were inclined to believe it was all just your childhood imagination going wild. Sometimes you got a very sudden urge to think about him, like he was mentally intruding on your life. But the older you got, the less you believed in fairies. And you got old… old like your aunt. And it was your turn to get married now.

Waiting in the dressing room alone to stare at your reflection in that mirror and take a few last, deep breaths before walking out for the nuptial rite, you didn’t expect to be disturbed by a strange and deep voice.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

Upon turning around, you saw a man. A novel man. Handsome and somewhat scary as he glared at you and charged towards your spot. “What?” you choked out before clearing your throat. “I- I don’t think you’re supposed to be back here.”

“You’re about to walk down that aisle and have the pastor say I pronounce you husband and wife and kiss that man?” he spoke in a breath, pointing to the door.

You were frozen, looking into his shiny eyes as if you were entranced. Not sure how to react in this odd situation, yet something about the man intriguing you. “Um… yeah?”

“You can’t!” he gasped. Eyes so wide and pleading you silently. “We were supposed to do that.”

“I’m sorry, who are you?”

“I’m your husband.” It wasn’t what you were expecting him to say, not in the slightest, but he seemed so confident of it he almost convinced you. “You’re mine, you can’t marry another man,” he insisted.

And right when you were about to open your mouth to tell him he was being insane, tell him you had no idea who he was and that he needed to get out, he called your name. Called your name in a way that was so fitting for it, like he was the only one who ever should be saying it. You paused, and you frowned. And you looked at him better. The man reached behind his neck and brought forward a strand of hair that didn’t match his own. Didn’t match because that was your hair. That dream… that dream hadn’t been a dream at all.

“I waited for you,” the boy-turned-man whispered, voice sounding as sad as his eyes looked. “I waited for as long as you needed. How can you do this to me?”

Your face was numb. And you shivered, shaking harder the more you let the realization sink in. “Tae- Taehyung?” you gulped. “You’re real?”

The man rushed to you, grabbed your face with both hands gently, fingers stroking your cheeks as if he knew tears were about to fall. “Of course. Who ever told you otherwise?”

You were lost for words, just staring into his eyes that were communicating more than you ever could. The boy from the woods had returned for you, just as promised. And now that he had you, he felt ready to finish what you two had started. This time, when he leaned in with his eyes closed and his lips on a straight line towards yours, you didn’t flinch, you didn’t pull or run away. Maybe it was the shock. Maybe it was just what was meant to happen. He kissed you and everything instantly changed. The bond completed. A bond unlike the mortal rituals you try to parody— that was a bond connecting your souls instead of a verbal agreement that could easily be broken by the human instability. And when he pulled away, you knew it, you felt it; you were indeed his and he was yours. Forever.

“Oh my God,” you mouthed. The feeling crushing you and making your mind race faster and faster. “Oh my— Fuck!” You were his and he was yours now. Forever. What would you do now? There was another man still waiting outside to marry you. “Fuck, fuck!”

“It’s alright,” Taehyung whispered, holding you tighter. Like he knew exactly what you were thinking about or could feel exactly what you felt. Perhaps he could. “Don’t worry. None of that will matter in a bit.”

He scooped your legs, lifting you up with ease you were certain no human being could possess. And he jumped out of the window and landed perfectly, even though that window was so high up. And you were in the woods within a blink of an eye, even though those woods were miles away. By that big, old Oak tree, where it all started. He was right, your meaningless mortal problems already appeared like so; you were with Taehyung now and it all seemed to make more sense than anything ever did in your life.

“You look so pretty,” the man spoke, drawing you back from your thoughts. “Like a fairy.” He chuckled, this time his laughter sounding better than the last. And then he kissed your cheek, and your neck, and it felt like each peck was gifting you whole years of life. “I’ve missed you. You never came to visit.”

“I’m sorry,” you breathed, flustered.

“It’s okay.” He was calm, looking at your eyes that you didn’t even know yet that they shined like his. “We have eternity ahead of us to be together.”

“Eternity?”

He chuckled again, music to your ears. And he leaned in to bite your bottom lip playfully. “Don’t you know, honey? Time flows strangely when you’re married to a fae.”

Masterlist

[magratpudifoot]

I am an older millennial who grew up in a politically conservative military family. My mother has always been openly contemptuous of the femininity her mother tried to force on her, so even though I had literally zero exposure to out trans or nb folks until I was well into adulthood, I had a strong model for a sort of gnc way of being a woman from the moment I was born. I was, to a great extent, allowed to opt in or out of femininity in a way that I absolutely would not have been had I been AMAB.

(Note that this is fairly common in conservative families--girls are frequently rewarded for learning masc-coded skills, because that shows power and courage and independence. My dad was disappointed when neither me nor my sister wanted to go hunting with him.)

It took me an embarrassingly long time to come to terms with the existence of trans men. Trans women made sense to me, because women can have the hobbies they want, wear what they want, express themselves how they want. And, yeah, it pisses off a lot of people when women do those things, and there are extreme repercussions baked into being a woman (much less a trans woman), but dealing with misogynistic bullshit is part of the deal.

As I understood it, being a boy meant the world demanded that you had to keep your hair short and put limits on the kinds of clothes you could wear and the colors you were allowed to like and the characters you were allowed to play on the playground, and stepping outside those boxes would get you punished. Being a girl meant that the people who weren't misogynistic assholes would be fine with you having a buzz cut and wearing work boots and no makeup. Trans women made sense to me, because patriarchy made the "Man" category incredibly limiting; trans men didn't make sense to me because the "Woman" category already accommodated masc presentation.

At some point, after years of troubling over this issue in an attempt to understand people who I wanted to support completely and unquestioningly, it finally clicked for me what I was stumbling over: I have absolutely no internal sense of gender, and I honestly did not understand that other people do. "Girl" and "boy" for me and my feminism were 100% defined around how an individual presented themself and how society perceived and reacted to that presentation. So the idea of being a trans man only made sense under this misunderstood schema as a loss of options of what to wear and how to style oneself. The realization that THAT WAS TRULY NEVER WHAT ANY OF THIS WAS ABOUT, that other people have inherent senses of gender totally outside of socialization, took me all the way out and ultimately completely changed my world view.

Maybe if I had gotten an autism diagnosis as a child and had that understanding and that community to help me figure out social dynamics as a kid, I might have seen earlier how the rules and categories I was working out for myself were things other people didn't have to work out because they knew. And probably instead of accepting that I was a girl because I was told I was a girl and nothing about me made "girl" feel wrong because of what I thought we all knew "girl" meant, I would be one of those poor, confused autistic enbies that the TERFs need to save from our debilitating misconceptions of the world.

So honestly this all is to say that, in addition to all of the excellent commentary above about resisting arbitrary categorization, it cuts the other way, too. I think the percentage of autistic people who identify as nb is probably rising because we have access to so much more information about how other people experience their gender, and those of us who learned to mask early are unlearning the brainwashing.

ETA: It bears saying explicitly, even though I hope it is understood, that trans men are amazing and valid and not mysterious confused beings to be puzzled out. Figure out your own shit and stop being weird about other people's identities.

terfs keep mentioning the % of autistics who are trans/nb and that we're 'brainwashed'

and because i'm an asshole, i decided to look into why so many autistic folks are trans/nb. it's not an inaccurate statement, at least the first half, but terfs lie through their teeth so i decided to get to the scientific root of it.

the answer blew my fucking mind.

the study on gender and autism i found said two very specific things about autistic people: we are more mentally resistant to things like social conditioning and binarism. we like our secret third things, y'know.

an excerpt:

“The finding that non-binary identities are most elevated seems to support hypotheses focussed on autistic resistance to social conditioning, which are consistent with existing evidence of the same effect with respect to self-description of sexual orientation. Perhaps elevated rates of trans identity in autism might result from a rejection of the binary cisgenderist norm, which combined with a below-typical concern for social norms could promote the disclosure of the identity.”

94% of autistics surveyed for that paper identified themselves as non-binary.

other studies have found autistic people have higher levels of critical thinking, and require more evidence to maintain or convert to a belief system (hence why many of us eventually fall away from religion) than allistic people.

which means, at least from my perspective, that:

a) the 'brainwashing' terfs are accusing the trans community of inflicting on autistic folks would likely not even work if they tried.

b) the current binary definition of gender flies directly against embedded autistic modes of thinking to begin with.

you cannot brainwash someone into thinking something they already believe.

[seriouslysnape]

Hi i would like to request severus x reader where its their first time together and reader guides sev bc he‘s a virgin ?

Okay, so I’ve been putting this one off. It’s such a good idea, I wasn’t sure how to tackle it. However, I’ve been thinking on it for a few days, and I think I did this request justice!

__

A Fast Learner

Severus Snape x Fem. Reader

Warnings: Smut.

Word Count: 3,066

“Shh. It’s okay.”

__

He had become very self conscious about it over the years. Well, he was self conscious about a lot of things, but especially something like this. It was embarrassing that he had made it this far in life and had never been intimate with someone. He knew it was mainly his own fault. He had spent his life saving himself for someone who wasn’t even around anymore, and someone who never loved him the way he did her. 

Now, he was well into his adulthood years and he had yet to have sex with anyone. He had quite honestly accepted long ago that he’d never allow anyone to take his virginity. To most people, a person at his age with their so-called “v-card” still intact was odd and even a bit weird. Even if he did find someone he cared enough about, he would have NO idea what to do and it would be so off-putting that they’d likely run for the hills. Severus, as disappointed as he was, was convinced he’d live out the rest of his days as a virgin. 

That was until he fell in love with you.

He admittedly didn’t expect it. You seemed rather average to him in the beginning. He failed to see how you were any different than anybody else he had ever encountered. The more time he spent with you, though, the more he saw in you. You were probably one of the most patient and understanding people he had ever met. You were an efficient communicator and an even better listener. You were a picture perfect person. He eventually found himself in a relationship with you that exceeded having dinner and private talks in each other’s offices. 

For the first time in Severus Snape’s life, he had a steady girlfriend. 

As thrilling and exciting as that was, it also caused a whole new set of worries for him. Having a girlfriend meant that he was going to have to be fully intimate at some point. It wasn’t something he could keep putting off the way he had been. You had a gut feeling that Severus had never had sex before. At first, you brushed his hesitation off to just being nervous. However, you began to notice the way he visibly would shrink away any time your make out sessions began to heat up. If nothing else, it explained why your relationship seemed to move at an aggravatingly tortuous pace. 

He’d become fidgety when you tried to reach for his belt or when your giggles turned into breathy moans. He would simmer down the situation before it could ever evolve into more, which he hated to do. He knew you were dismayed whenever he did so. You were a beautiful, young woman who had needs. It wasn’t fair that you had to push your needs aside because of him. He definitely didn’t want you to begin to think that it had something to do with you. 

He had never told you upfront that he was a virgin, and he hoped that maybe he would never have to. Whenever he did build up the courage to make love, perhaps he could get away with not saying anything. That dream was rather short lived when you finally questioned him one night after he turned you away once more. 

You had been snuggled up next to him on the sofa in his living quarters, just chatting after a long day when your kisses became a little more heated and you ultimately ended up in his lap. Your knees were on either side of him so you were in a straddle position, kissing him with passion and desire. He kissed back as always, but you could feel the hint of uncertainty as his lips worked with yours. You kept in mind that this was usually the part where he’d stop you or get himself out of it. Still, you rolled your hips downwards into his crotch, your fingers finding his belt and beginning to unbuckle it. 

As expected, he stopped kissing you and gently gripped your wrist. That was his signal for you to stop, to which you would normally just smile reassuringly and move on. However, you pulled your hand from his grasp and rested both of them on his shoulders. 

You were intently looking at him, reading his guilt-stricken expression.

“Severus,” You began; “Is there something you want to tell me?”

He knew exactly what you meant. It was only a matter of time before you began to question him. 

“I don’t know what you mean.” He said, letting the lie slip through his teeth.

You never averted your eyes from him. He wasn’t leaving until you obtained some answers. You wrapped a lock of his charcoal colored hair around your finger and twirled it mildly. 

“Most men barely wait for their girlfriend to make a move on them. With you, it seems like you don’t want me like that.” You pointed out.

Severus was quick to answer, because this was exactly the thing he didn’t want you to think.

“No, no. I do. I really do.” He said truthfully.

Make no mistake, Severus did want to have that level of intimacy with you. He just couldn’t push himself to that point. He never wanted to disappoint you in any way, and he just knew his skills were probably little to none. You were confused at his response.

“Then why do you always push me away when I try?” You queried.

He sighed heavily. It was a fair question for you to ask. He would’ve probably asked the same if he were in your shoes. It was humiliating, but he knew he couldn’t hide it any longer. He took a breath and told you that he was a virgin. He half expected you to get up and walk out or go tell every living soul you knew. Instead, you smiled kindly and let out a soft laugh that wasn’t at all intended to be a mock towards his confession. He clenched his teeth as he awaited your reply. You moved your right hand to cup the side of his face.

“Oh, Severus...is that all?” You asked sweetly.

A feeling of surprise and relief fizzled through his body. He had been waiting for a much heavier, dramatic reaction. 

“Well, I...it’s not really something I thought I’d ever tell you.” He explained, avoiding your gaze.

“You didn’t think you could keep it from me forever, did you?” You wondered. He didn’t respond, so you went on; “It’s nothing to be ashamed of. I can help you.” 

He let out an irritated huff. You could tell he was beyond embarrassed.

“You shouldn’t have to.” He said.

You kissed his forehead, encouraging him to embrace the situation a little. 

“I want to. It’ll benefit more than just me. Your first time should be special. I want to make it special,” You acknowledged; “But only if you want to. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

He was at a crossroads here. He wanted to do this, but he was still nervous. There were a million ways he could go wrong and mess up, but he also never thought there’d be anyone willing to offer a hand to him as an adult virgin. He realized that he loved you too much to keep treating you this way...so he agreed. He couldn’t help but nervously chuckle at your blinding smile. You were eager to teach him. He’d be a master in no time. 

“I promise we’ll go slow.” You declared, whipping your shirt off of your head. 

Severus felt a surge of heat go through his body at your breasts that were now VERY prevalent to him. His eyes widened and his stare lingered on them like a kid in a candy store. He looked over the black, lacy material of your bra and how it perfectly accented them. His cheeks burned a fiery red that he tried to hide, but to no avail. You bit your bottom lip to hold back a smile.

“Blushing already, Professor?” You asked teasingly. 

If he was already this flustered, you couldn’t wait to see him when you got to the good stuff. His eyes snapped back to yours, he sheepishly apologized.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

You hushed him, putting a finger to his lips.

“Shh. It’s okay.” 

You took his hands, bringing them around to your back. You maneuvered his fingers to unclasp your bra, and you slowly pushed the straps down your arms until it fell to the floor. His cheeks turned a darker shade of red now that you were fully exposed to him. He didn’t even try to confine his stare now. You spoke softly. 

“You can touch them if you want.” You granted.

“Touch them?” He asked.

You giggled lightly.

“Yeah, S. With your hands...or your mouth.”

He decided to go with the first option, not confident enough in his skills yet. His hands were trembling a tad, as he brought them up to your chest. He was awkward at first, sort of just fondling with them in an amateurish way. Your nipples grew hard at the feeling of his large hands on your soft skin. He wasn’t sure what made him do it, but he leaned forward and took one of your nipples into his mouth. He sucked firmly and swirled his tongue over your breast. A satisfied gasp fell from your lips, startling him and causing him to stop.

“Are you alright? Did that hurt?” He asked frantically.

You let out another laugh.

“Sev, I was moaning.” You told him.

He shyly grinned.

“Oh.” 

He took your nipple into his mouth again, his confidence slowly but surely beginning to build. You brought a hand to the back of his head.

“Kiss my neck.” You instructed.

He nodded, moving his lips up to your neck and kissed where you guided his head to go. You grinded your hips down onto his lap, a groan falling from his throat. You could feel his growing erection through his pants. You smirked, knowing the real show was about to begin. 

“Let’s move to the bedroom.” You said, persuading him up from the sofa.

You took him by the hand, leading him to his large bed. You debated for a moment over what the best approach to this was. You thought for a minute that maybe it would be best if he stayed on the bed and you rode him, but you figured that he wouldn’t learn much out of that, however it would be pleasurable for him. You wanted his first time to be special, as you had previously mentioned. You decided to go traditional missionary, that way you could talk him through it. 

You laid on your back, laughing at the way Severus was ogling over you. You motioned for him with your finger, and he timidly climbed onto the bed. He instinctively placed one of his knees on either side of you, which was a good start. 

“Move down a little.” You requested. 

He shifted down a bit so you could unfasten his belt and his pants. He helped you get them off, throwing them aside. You did away with your skirt and panties, now fully naked in front of him. He was fully hard now, your hand palming at his evident erection. He let out a soft groan, feeling amazed at how he had never been touched by anyone else like this before. 

He sprang free once his boxers were thrown aside to join the growing pile of clothes on the floor. Your eyes gazed at his length, raking him over. You snapped out of your trance, taking him into your hand. You stroked slowly and softly, just enough so he could see how it felt.

You knew this was going to be a tedious process for the first time, you didn’t want to completely overwhelm him and ruin it for him. He let out a stuttered sigh at the feeling of his dick in your hand. He had of course rubbed himself like this before, but it was totally different when it was being done to him. His sounds were alone enough to make your sex become slick with wetness, but you reached for one of his free hands.

“Take these two fingers,” You said, pushing his side three fingers down, just leaving his middle and ring finger. You brought his fingers to your heated sex; “Now, just gently-”

You were stunned when he began rubbing in circles, slowly but firmly. You wriggled underneath him, not prepared for him to do it so well. You let out a groan at the waves of pleasure building through you, he kept his eyes on you with a rather concerned expression. He was still afraid of hurting you or messing up. 

You stopped stroking him, taking his wrist and directing his fingers towards your clit. He knew he had hit the spot when you breathed out his name in a way he had never heard you before.

“Severus...” You exhaled.

He felt a burst of pride. Maybe he really could get the hang of this. He could feel the wetness spreading around his fingers, which is when you knew to stop him and move on with your instructions. You were beginning to realize that Severus was a fast learner. He’d have this in no time. You were a little breathless now, which swelled him with even more confidence.

“Take one of my legs and wrap it around your waist.” You said.

He took your right thigh into his hand, securing and hooking your leg around him. He noted that was how he’d be sure that you wouldn’t get too far from him. He was beginning to put pieces together.

“Okay, when you’re ready just push yourself in. Go slow at first.” You said, lining him up with your entrance. 

His tip just barely was touching you, he looked to you, stricken with a bit of panic.

“[Y/N], I don’t want to hurt you.” He said, registering that this was the part he was most scared of.

You shook your head. Half in desperation for him and half to reassure him. You put his hands on your hips so he’d be steady once he did start to move. 

“You’re not going to hurt me, Sev. I promise,” You said truthfully; “Just go at your pace. I’ll tell you if it hurts.”

You knew it wouldn’t, but it made him feel better to hear you say it. He took a breath, and leisurely pushed himself in as far as he could. You both let out a synchronous moan. He didn’t move for a second, wrapping his head around how damn good this felt. You didn’t expect him to stretch and fill you the way he did, so you were a little scattered when you spoke next.

“S-Sev, pull out a little, and then go back in again.” You said.

He gingerly pulled out, and went back in. He watched each time he moved in and out. He saw the way your eyelashes fluttered each time he went back in, and how your grip on his bicep tightened. You weren’t used to such a slow speed, but you didn’t want him to go fast if he didn’t feel like he could yet. However, you did try to convince him to pick it up a little.

“A little faster. If you want.” You said, really hoping he’d get the hint. 

He did get it, and began to rock his hips faster, filling in the pauses that he had been taking between tortuous thrusts. He had figured out a rhythm now, his movements becoming monotonous, but gloriously good. He watched as your breasts bounced each time he pounded back into you, and how your mouth fell open with noises that were music to his ears. 

You knew Severus was getting the hang of it, so you gave him another request.

“Take my leg and put it on your shoulder.” 

He gave you a puzzled look, thinking that there was no way that would actually do anything. Still, he draped your leg over his shoulder and he thought he might just collapse. He was slamming into you at a new angle that was a total game changer, and created a whole new feeling of pleasure. 

He knew sex was supposed to feel good, but he never thought it would feel THIS good. It was a bit of an accident, but he rotated his hips and you let out a high-pitched shriek that even he couldn’t mistake as a bad sound. You smirked at how he was now hitting your sensitive spot each time he went back in.

“Severus, you feel so good. Holy- yes, that’s perfect.” You cried out.

He didn’t dare speed up or slow down, if he had it right, he wasn’t going to mess with it. He continued to pound into you, alerted when he felt himself twitch inside of you. He assumed that meant that something was happening. Your own inner coil was growing hot, which was a delight to you, because you honestly weren’t sure at first if you would even finish since it was his first time. You arched your back to meet his thrusts, both of your releases coming quickly.

“Darling, I think I’m about to-” He was cut off by another one of your moans.

He felt the muscles in your leg contract, as you came around him. He thrusted a few more times before he did as well. A flash flood crashed over every nerve in his body. Your arms rested above your head as your chest heaved with each inhale. He slid out of you, falling next to you on the mattress. His head was spinning.

He had just lost his virginity. Something he had kept so private and locked away. He thought that maybe he’d be a little sad, but he wasn’t. He was beyond joyed to have lost it to someone he cared about so much. He leaned over, kissing your neck and nibbling on your earlobe.

“How...how was that?” He asked, a little apprehensive to hear your answer.

You looked over at him, a flashy smile and a voice full of honesty.

“Severus Snape,” You said; “You are one fast learner.”

[thirstyforcharacters]

Tequila (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

Summary: Every person has a soulmate. When your soulmate experiences pain, so do you, and any bruises, scars, or other markings that they get appear on your skin. Or, the story of how aliens attacking Las Vegas was the best thing to ever happen to you.

Notes: Hello! I already did a very similar soulmate AU for Sam Wilson (which you can read here), but I love soulmate AU’s so much that I decided to do one for Bucky, too! Hopefully, I made them different enough that they don’t seem too repetitive. Did I write this while I was supposed to be watching a documentary on Bach for music history? Maybe. But I think this was a much better use of my time. Hope you enjoy! (no y/n, no pronouns)

Warnings: canon typical violence, alien invasion, blood (not too much tho), car crash

WC: 1.9 k

For all of your life, you couldn’t feel your left arm.

When you started to crawl, your parents noticed you only used your right arm to pull yourself forward while your left would hang limply at your side. Your parents brought you to the doctor, deeply concerned, but when she examined your arm, she found nothing wrong. No x-rays showed broken or deformed bones, and no MRI’s showed any problems in the brain. By all medical standards, you should be able to move your left arm. You just couldn’t. Everyone hoped that it would go away, but to their chagrin, it remained unmoving throughout your childhood. You obviously knew your arm was there since you could clearly see it, but you couldn’t feel the nerve endings inside it. When you poked your arm with your other finger, you felt absolutely nothing. And weirdly enough, your family said it was always cold to the touch, no matter how warm the rest of your body was.

You had a feeling that it had something to do with your soulmate, and when you reached adulthood (specifically around 24), you were almost positive that was the reason. You often woke up with random injuries that you knew you didn’t give yourself. Gunshot wounds, deep slashes, broken bones, and large bruises were commonly branded on your skin. You were positive that if your soulmate was getting shot at every other night, then they almost definitely had some sort of damage done to their arm that affected your own. But if they had had this condition since you were born, how old were they? That was always a question that kind of weirded you out. You didn’t particularly want to be “meant to be” with some wrinkly, old person! Especially if they were somehow getting themselves into this much trouble. And now that you thought about it, none of these injuries were on your (or their) left arm. How could that be if they’ve literally been hurt everywhere else on their body?

When you weren’t in and out of the hospital with randomly serious injuries, you were quite busy cooking up a storm in Turkey, Tacos, and Tequila, your restaurant in Las Vegas. You and your best friend, Nicolás, had opened it three years ago; you were the head chef and he ran the business side of things. The two of you had talked about opening a restaurant together since you were teenagers, so both of you had moved to Vegas together after college/culinary school. Together, you found that you were an unstoppable team, and within a year of opening, you were one of the most popular restaurants throughout all of Vegas! Most times, because you were so busy, your soulmate problem stayed in the back of your mind. But every once in a while, a bruise would appear on your eye or a large cut down the length of your leg, and you would be reminded again.

Nic, as you called him, already found his soulmate. Oliver had moved in with you a year ago, and joined you side by side in the kitchen. You became almost as close with him as you had with Nic. They were adorable together, and never made you feel like the third wheel. There were some times, though, where you found yourself a little bit jealous that they had found each other so quickly, and that neither of them had ever suddenly started bleeding all over a nearly complete order of mango fish tacos.

Whenever you got a little down about it, Nic would always clap you on the shoulder and say, “You’ll find them someday. And when you do, break their nose. They deserve it for the hell they’re accidentally putting you through.”

It never failed to make you laugh. You had half a mind to do just that when you met the love of your life. You just didn’t know when that would be.

On yet another hot and dry Nevada night, you were closing up at the restaurant (or morning, you supposed, since it was nearly 1 am). Nic, Oliver, and your other employees had gone home already, so it was only you that remained. You turned off the lights and locked the door. You pushed your way through the drunken crowds and tourists on the street and made your way to your car. As you were opening the door, you could hear gasps of shock coming from the crowd of people roaming the streets. You looked up and saw an eerie flash of green across the sky, and a strange-looking, portal appeared in the sky! Shrieks of fear permeated the air as grotesque, reptilian creatures began spilling from the portal.

Frantically, you flung yourself into your car and turned over the engine, hoping to escape the clutches of these aliens. Though your apartment was in the opposite direction of the portal, as per usual, there was a decent amount of traffic, so you weren’t sure how good your chances were. But you figured you’d at least be safer in your car than exposed outside of it.

You were able to pull into traffic and weave through it fairly well, making good use of the side streets that only the locals knew about. But the creatures were overtaking the city faster than you could drive. You knew you didn’t have long before they caught up with you.

Just when that thought popped into your head, a blinding flash of light appeared in your rearview mirror. A loud bang, almost like a cannon, sounded, and through your mirror, you saw a truck hurtling toward you at breakneck speed! You attempted to swerve out of the way, but the truck crashed into your car, shoving it against a street light! The driver’s side of your car crumpled against the lamppost, and the glass in your window shattered at the contact. You attempted to cover your face with your hands, but a piece of glass still managed to make a pretty deep cut above your left eye, as well as a few pieces of shrapnel sinking into your legs. The whiplash from the contact damaged your neck as well; pain spread throughout your neck and back. All you could do was sob in agony. You had never felt this much pain in your life.

Your hand was trembling as you unbuckled your seatbelt, but you found yourself unable to leave your car! The driver’s side door was crushed, the truck was smushed against your passenger door, and there was no way you would be able to climb out of the backseat, nor lift yourself out of the broken window with the injuries you sustained. You were trapped. You waited for a little bit, until some of the chaos surrounding you died down; even in your damaged state, you knew that no one would be able to hear you even if you screamed for help as loudly as you could.

You strained your ears, and were able to hear gunfire, commands being shouted, and the hissing of these reptilian creatures. Eventually, instead of the noise of a battle, you could hear voices trying to dig people out of the rubble. Somehow, they sounded familiar, but you couldn’t place how. Well, if they were rescuing people, you figured they were your only chance.

“Help,” you screamed, “I’m trapped in my car! Please help me!”

You heard footsteps sprinting in your direction and a voice call, “Don’t worry, we’ll get you out of there!”

You watched in amazement as the truck on your passenger’s side was surrounded by a glowing, red presence, and moved out of the way! It had to be the Avengers! Who else would be able to do something that crazy? You were brought out of your thoughts by your car being dragged away from the pole, making you jump. A face popped up in your shattered window. He was gorgeous; bright, blue eyes, short, chestnut hair, and a warm smile. He took hold of the broken door and wrenched it from its fastenings.

“Hi. My name is Bucky Barnes. This is Wanda Maximoff,” the man said, gesturing back to a woman wearing scarlet, “we’re going to get you out of here, okay?”

“Okay,” you replied, relieved, “thank you so much!”

He smiled again, “Oh, it’s no problem. You should probably stay there until the EMT’s get here. Moving might make your injuries even worse.”

You nodded slightly in reply, but the pull in your neck made you groan in pain.

He winced, “Try not to move that, either. You may not be bleeding there, but I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

“Okay.”

“Here, let me help you with that. I can at least stop the bleeding,” he offered, gesturing to your forehead and leg.

“Oh, thank you!” you answered.

He nodded and reached for some bandages he had in his jacket with his metal arm. His left arm. Suddenly, you noticed things you didn’t notice before. He also had a large cut above his left eye, in the same spot as your injury. It wasn’t bleeding, though, perhaps because of his enhancements. You noticed him moving his neck in a circular motion, seemingly to stretch it out. He had holes in his pants and small puncture wounds on his legs, in the same spots where glass was sticking out of you. Again, though, they were already healing. Could that be why you had never felt your arm before? Because your soulmate’s was metal? It would make complete sense.

“Are you okay?”

You didn’t even realize you had zoned out until Bucky addressed you. He was gently cleaning the wound on your forehead.

“Yes,” you whispered, fixated on the wound on his forehead.

His eyebrow raised, “Are you sure? You seem a little out of it.”

“I-I’m fine. I just noticed something kind of strange. I think the cut on your forehead matches mine.”

He touched his forehead, “Oh, yeah, I forgot about that with the adrenaline and everything. Only got it maybe 20 minutes ago.”

“That’s when my car crashed. And you’re having neck pain, like me,” you murmured, “and your arm is metal. I’ve never been able to feel my arm.”

His eyes widened, “Really? You think we’re meant to be?”

“Maybe,” you replied.

He nodded, “It seems likely. What’s your name?”

You gave him your name and he smiled again.

“I’ve been waiting for this for a century.”

You giggled softly, “I guess that explains why I’ve been experiencing this since I was born. I was afraid you’d be gross and wrinkly.”

He chuckled, “Well, hopefully you don’t think I’m either of those things.”

“Definitely not.”

The EMT’s arrived then. Bucky stepped aside and the medics removed you from your car.

As you were being loaded into the ambulance, Bucky approached you.

“How can I get in contact with you after this?”

“Just come by Turkey, Tacos, and Tequila. It’s my restaurant, I’m almost always there,” you told him.

“Okay. I’ll drop by sometime soon, when you’re better of course.”

“Looking forward to it.”

“Me too.”

As he was walking away, you couldn’t stop the grin forming on your lips. Sure, what had happened to you today was terrible. But you knew you would heal, and now, you had also finally met your soulmate. No wonder why you were randomly injured all of the time! If today was any indicator of what the rest of your relationship would look like, though, you’d probably need all of that tequila you were selling for yourself.

[stardomthenightwing]

For anyone wondering why I was off the internet a lot lately, let me explain. @istanstardom gave me advice, and rather than being stubborn like usual and not taking it, I actually took it (Probably because it wasn't parental advice). I actually took time for myself, even though I wanted to be on the internet, and have realized the beauty of the world around me! Ok, just kidding, no, I didn't go outside, I started watching a new show; like what do you take me for, a jock? I'm a total nerd, I haven't seen the sun in years...

Anyways, so I've been watching those cartoon critics lately, and they all say the same thing, "STEVEN UNIVERSE IS GaRbAgE". And usually, the following line pops up, "MY LITTLE PONY FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC IS A MUCH BETTER SHOW".

I've been an avid cartoon watcher since I was born, so on my journey of self-discovery, I mean break, I decided to see if MLP was better than SU. Yes, I am a boy, but that doesn't affect my "professional" opinion of this show. Yes, I am also a huge action fan, but that doesn't affect my opinion of this show's genre.

For all my fellow boy followers and SU fans, I watched MLP so you don't have to, and here are my thoughts:

I've only seen four seasons, so I'll only be covering four seasons.

1. The characters are really well-done, and their development is realistic:

- Despite being a kid's show, this show doesn't really seem like it's for kids sometimes. MLP tackles lessons about friendship that I don't think many of us as kids are yet to resolve in our adult lives. In the episode, "Lesson Zero", a problem that I still struggle with is expressed and resolved. It's an episode about overworking yourself and stressing over not getting the perfect grade; a little side lesson about listening to your friend's problems, even if they're strange, is included as well. I still struggle with this overworking yourself problem, and it made me smile to watch Twilight Sparkle understand that she doesn't always have to be perfect with her work. This show does a good job of making sure you clear up all your common flaws before adulthood.

- The Mane Six are given an equal share of character development episodes and are very relatable. I can see a bit of myself in every single one of these characters. I'm a nerd like Twilight Sparkle. I'm a perfectionist like Rarity. I'm an introvert like Fluttershy. I'm an optimist like Rainbow Dash, who likes to read about adventures. I'm surprisingly physically talented like Applejack. And then there's Pinky Pie; I was exactly like her when I was a little kid, but now, not so much.

- One problem with having a lot of filler episodes about character development is that when it’s overdone, it’s not very entertaining. The show introduces that there is a storyline in the first episode, and then, that storyline is ignored for an entire season until we see Princess Luna get a redemption arc in "Luna Eclipsed". Because this is a kid's show that wasn't aiming high at the story element at first with its first season, I can see why the story was structured this way. It is a little weird how Discord showed up out of nowhere in the second season. I've noticed that the only real problems with character development in this show lies with the villains. They kind of just show up, are given a backstory and then are defeated in a two-part episode. There were no mentions of changelings up until the season 2 final, and King Sombra just existed in season 3's first two-part episode. You can defend King Sombra with the argument that little was known about the Crystal Empire, but seriously, that whole kingdom just showed up in season 3's first two-part episode with no warning. Maybe a little mention in the season 2 final from Cadance that she's the princess of the fallen Crystal Empire; that was much needed. We're getting off topic here, but I think this show needs to hint at its story in episodes prior to the season final; that's about it for complaints.

- I really recommend that you watch this show if you can handle a lot of filler episodes. The experience of the story episodes feel more rewarding when you watch them because the filler episodes tie in with the storyline pretty well.

2. This show has really good continuation:

- All I have to say for this section is that things in previous episodes are not forgotten often. This show has incredible continuation, some of it even ties into development. Fluttershy is taught the simple phrase "hop, skip and jump" in the episode "Dragonfly", and this phrase is then repeated in the episode "Feeling Pinkie Keen" to demonstrate how far Fluttershy has come with her anxiety; she's literally the first to hop the rocks, like aren't you proud of her watching that? Honestly, when I watched that scene, it blew my mind! For a kid's show, the writers do pay attention to detail alright!

3. The animation:

- Personally, this show has helped me understand a lot about four-legged anatomy, which is something I'm struggling to draw.

- I like how the characters aren't all outlined in black, they're each given a unique color.

4. The characters:

- Let’s talk about the Mane Six first. My personal favorite is either Twilight Sparkle or Rainbow Dash. I can relate to both a lot, but that’s not the point. As I mentioned earlier, each of these characters are given a balanced amount of development episodes throughout the show.

. Twilight Sparkle starts out as a pony with no friends who isn’t looking for any either and learns the magic of friendship throughout the show. They did her introverted smartness very well and handled her stress and overworking qualities beautifully.

. Rainbow Dash is such a girlboss; she’s the perfect kind of character for a show like this. She’s funny, optimistic and has realistic aspirations. I love characters with big dreams and determination to reach them.

. Fluttershy is probably like the most well-developed character in the show. She starts off not even being able to speak to Twilight (Wow, just like me in real life) and goes all the way to learning to be assertive and just. There’s so much I can say about this character, I could probably even make a whole post talking about her development, but we don’t have time for that.

. Rarity is definitely the inspiration for Pearl in Steven Universe. They are both perfectionist hard workers who make weird noises when in distress. I don’t care what you say, Rebecca has definitely seen MLP. Anyways, Rarity presents herself as a total Karen at first who doesn’t like children. Like, you see how she treats her sister right? But then she learns how to be a good sibling through the power of learning that you have to do things for people sometimes that you don’t want to do. Honestly, great character to add in this show. Rarity helps us older siblings understand how to treat our younger siblings.

. Applejack is another one of those hardworking characters. Her character arc mostly consisted of unhealthy stubbornness in refusal to ask for help, getting over failure, and that’s about it. Applejack didn’t really seem like a character who needed much development, but I feel like her episodes do express some interesting themes.

. Pinky Pie is a party animal who doesn’t really seem like a character in need of development on the surface, but deep below, she actually has a great development arc. It’s very interesting how the writers of the show properly addressed Pinky Pie’s reactions to her responsibilities. Pinky Pie learns how to handle freaking children, that’s a crazy lesson for a character to learn in a kid’s show. She learns betrayal and abandonment and accepts the fact that not everyone needs to like her. For a generally silly character, she shows amazing growth. Almost makes me wonder if she was Spinel inspiration for Rebecca. I mean, Pinky Pie does have a dark side…

- The side characters in the show are done pretty interestingly from minor villains like Trixie to a zebra that speaks in AB rhyme scheme. To be honest, as strange as the world of MLP is, I love it! It has that Earthbound vibe! I only really have a problem with The Cutie Mark Crusaders. For some reason, I just find them annoying at times.

- The villains in this show are kind of, eh. We barely ever see villains appear in filler episodes, and the villains we have in the show don't get enough screen time. I mean, Discord was due for a redemption arc way earlier than when he got it; a season and a half with no mentions or appearances, like seriously, that's long enough for the audience to forget his existence. I kind of also wish we got a Princess Luna song. That moment in "Luna Eclipsed" where Luna goes away from town, thinking that the ponies will never accept her, could have made the perfect moment for a "Drift Away" type song. Oh yeah, King Sombra was also just shoved into season 3 to depict slavery in the show; that villain was just, why?

5. The nostalgia:

- The thing that draws me to this show so much is how nostalgic it makes me feel. I took a break from the internet to go back in time and reflect on how I've changed; I haven't always been an internet guy. This show hits hard because it has that Steven Universe season 1 humor; I felt like I was watching a show again as an adult because I understood all the jokes and references, even though I never watched this show as a kid. MLP is a great show to watch with the family because its content aims for all ages to my surprise.

6. Final Thoughts:

This is a really good show. I kind of wish I watched it when I was just a little bit younger. I've only seen half the show, so I'm not sure if it gets any better (It probably does). It's a great show for anyone to watch, but it lacks things like action and can be a bit girly. The songs in the show are nowhere near as good as Steven Universe though.

Overall, I can't say the show isn't better than Steven Universe because I haven't seen all of it, but so far, Steven Universe is better. SU has some things that MLP doesn't have, and MLP has some things that SU doesn't have. In the end, it comes down to personal preference. And man do I enjoy those SU fight scenes and fusion moments!

Also, I've never said bro so much in my life while watching something. Some of the things that happen in MLP are just... what? And then I'm like, "bro, why did that just happen?"

I'm writing a 1,000-word argument on why MLP is a good show to make myself not look crazy to my followers, what has my life come to? I feel way too passionate about things that really don't matter.

Feel free to reblog this analysis on this show to defend your liking of it!