#it took me an hour and a half alone
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Every so often, long after you've fallen asleep beside him, he'll let himself grasp the weight, the ache, of just how much he loves you. You'll wake hours later to find he hasn't slept a wink.
#i like putting him in red lighting too much#gornack art tag#gornack click to see details tag#bay tmnt#bayverse tmnt#tmnt bay#bayverse#bay mikey#ding ding wake up mikey well i got somethin for ya#i went insane on the scales#i need to find a better way to do those#it took me an hour and a half alone#..#but have some soft mikey#cuz the rest of my ideas are nastier#giggles and hides
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tried my hand at some very rudimentary shapeshifting animation for some AU fic stuff :D
#su#steven universe#pink steven#rose quartz#pink diamond#su fanart#animation#my art stuff#(coughs)#crack the paragon#(but nobody but me knows the context yet lol)#eventually i'd like to clean this up and add a background and do a bit of...#overextension with the hair to give a sense of flow#and add dynamic lighting#but that's a BIG project#these sketches and messy frames took me three and a half hours alone
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FINALLY!! At long last, I've gotten my hands on a Pumpkin Kitty, after a whole year of wanting and waiting.
Her name is Latte! (Short for Miss Pumpkin Spice Latte) You can also call her Miss Spice!
#I spent 10 minutes picking her out omfg#not even exaggerating. I was deciding between this one and one of the last 3 unstuffed PKs#altogether there was only 5 of them left in the store including the 2 stuffed displays#the other one I was looking at had a nearly perfect pumpkin eye patch but less pumpkins overall#and their face wasn't as nice plus the ears were a bit wonky for my taste.#tho it was really hard to tell which would be better while they were unstuffed and flat#in the end I chose Latte because right away she looked to have a sweet face. her ears were nice and she had better patch placement#including a couple full patches on her tail#tbh if I'd had the money I might have bought both because the decision was hard#the bear builder actually asked if I was alright while I concentrated on studying each of those damn cats#I apologized and explained wtf was up with me. she was very understanding#I've always had this quirk where sometimes it'll take forever for me to pick between plushies I really want#especially if they're both the same exact plush. because then I gitta focus harder on finding out which has the better personality#you get what I mean?#anyways this has been a thing for me even as a real little kid#I remember spending and hour-hour and a half almost every time when my dad took me to choose my monthly webkinz#“my monthly webkinz” god that makes me sound so privileged. it was the nicest/best thing my dad could afford to get me because we were poor#he wanted to spoil me as all good fathers do but that was the most he could afford and I was always so grateful and still am! but I digress#anyways I took way too long to pick which kitty would become my Latte#but I'm glad I had the opportunity to choose yet alone to actually see pumpkin kitty irl available for purchase#what do you guys think of her?#stuffed animals#plushies#plushblr#build a bear#BAB#pumpkin kitty
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hey so remember how I made color palettes based on the TMPH? well all the songs are out now so here's a crap ton of color palettes based on all the Power Hours!! :D
I might use em myself but if anyone else uses them, please tag me in your post!!! I'd love to see what you do with it :D
Also because I'm a nerd & I like explaining things, where I got the names for them are below if anyone curious bout them :}
TMPH:
Page one is more obvious; it just being the song title. The second page is named with Acts like how the first three songs were titled [both in CJs & in the original]. The entire acts all together is named Ego, hence the bottom being named Ego. And then all of the Ego/Acts together spell C.A.N. & as CJ said in the Directors Commentary, it funnily enough matches with his old YouTube channel name "Can of Soup" [or DJ soup I think it is now].
THDPH:
There aren't as many palettes since there wasn't much I could grab from sadly. But the names are more creative at least.
•Pocket Aces- Shutup Your Stupid: "Maybe I'll shoot my shot at one of those handsome faces. Have a couple drinks, make my stance advantageous; play my pair of Pocket Aces"
•Kismet's Call- Evl Ppl: "Our habits and our rituals aren't half as stacked as Kismet's Call"
•Coloring & Additives- Savages: "Savages! Who work with ratios and averages; Governments, establishments, Coloring and Additives"
•Course & Rough- A Drink to Death: "We were nice, but now I'm Coarse and Rough"
•Casa Infierno- Chonny's Inferno: "Perhaps a snack or beverage, on the house, from Casa Infierno"
•Unintentional Impression- Shutup Your Stupid: "He does his best Impression of me, says it came out 'Unintentionally' "
WWPH-
First page is again just the song titles. Page two is lines from some of the songs [Top two are Laplace's Angel & the bottom two are Memento Mori]. And page three is from the lyric "Heaven. Hell. Nirvana. Nothing. No one knows how it ends" from Memento Mori.
CJPH-
First three on page two are just song titles [Push should technically be labeled Don't Take it Personally but I named it wrong & only realized till just now 🙃. But oh well its too late now]. The bottom two are words from The Lie of Black and White.
•Misery: " 'Every moment I wait substantiates my Misery' "
•Melody: "Every person on Earth deserves to sing their Melody"
Page two is all for Push [or what should have been Push but i fucked up lol]. Streamers are colors from the party streamers on him. Makeup is the colors he used for his makeup [as best I can tell]. And Charcoal is for the charcoal soap goop on him. Buuuuut lets pretend it based on the line "My wrist and my heart where you kissed, pulled apart till it burns like Charcoal" from DTiP. Just so I feel less like an idiot.
Maybe ill post what photos I got the colors from if I feel like it. But if anyone's curious on a specific one, you can send an ask or smth & I'll gladly tell you :}
#this oddly took a good about of time to make#the bg detail top & corner things alone took me like an hour an a half for some reason#also this is like the second or third time i made color palettes so idk how good they actually are#but uh have fun with em if you can!#chonny jash#moss post#cj tmph#cj thdph#cj wwph#cjph#-atlas art-#technically art yea id say so
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black light
some non-moving face closeups:
lit:
unlit:
helmet:
😈
i know freckles don't glow under UV/black light but I was like. "damn I drew their freckles and you can't even see them!" lol so i made 'em glowy.
also here's a full-view of the version minus neon horns:
and some bare lineart for good measure:
the fire escape is on a different set of layers lmao
#don't ask me how long this took. (the drawing. not the animation lol) (colors alone took like... 6 or 7 hours)#in total i feel like close to 10?? 12? idk i don't time myself but several days#nadiart#not fanart#scratch#scratchverse#seth ma#shiny art#animation#sure#superhero oc#black light#i know the perspective on the left (seth's right) horn is wack but i still haven't made a 3D model of the helmet yet...#maybe someday#or if someone wants to do it for me. for free. (half joking. i would pay for a full helmet model but i don't have money.)
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Undertale yellow flowey embroidery
This took about 40 hours, give or take a few
#I can tell you one thing#Embroidering while having arthritis is really not a piece of cake. When you hand cramps just by holding it at an angle.#At least I can be grateful for my empty schedule#Makes embroidering till the sun rises back up so much easier#Insomnia also helps with this task#I was listening to the ost while working on it and… Live reaction#Occupied turf is so good actually !? Why wasn’t it shown more often !? IT’S FIRE !?#I forgot I only did a pacifist so I got so confused when neutral Flowey came out…#A mother’s love ? Should’ve called this “I’m gonna fuck you up”#The number of time I got my ass handed back to me in this fight is not even funny#The first time is great. The second I only discern my favorites and the sudden change in style. By the third loop I can’t recognize shit#my brain is melting and my eyes are on fire…#Advantages on doing it during daytime. Eyes hurt less. Good stupid tv to listen to in the background Disadvantages. People#Advantages on doing it at night. Alone. Personally work better at night#Disadvantages. No good TV. Time goes by slower…? I don’t know maybe I’m just loosing it with those freaking petals#For reference one petal took me about 3 and a half hours. So yeah… I thought it would never end… Took out almost all my yellow.#When the line tangles itself in the back and you realize only close to the end of it that half went missing#So you have to go backward to entangle it and loose 30 mins because damn it#Cats are not helpful in any of those scenarios#Why do I feel the need to make the back perfect when nobody else but me will know#This is the last time I do one so big without thinking it through#Note to self. Don’t do it standing up when the cats are awake. She just destroyed my stomach#I think i’m losing it#Back after a few weeks#God this white thread is doing my head in… I’m willing to bet my leg half the time I spent on the face was me untangling it.#I’m almost done. It’s finally over. Dark brown took exactly 4 h and 13 mins#undertale#undertale yellow#embroidery#I’m thinking of doing Boris the wolf next. Because I just found the perfect rendition to put on my wall
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i am but a silly little fanartist at heart i must return to my roots
amari from the wild west smp played by hit streamer luv luvmydogs
the smp is so much fun to watch and amari has taken my soul at this point i think business partners and accidental have claimed my brain and soul i cannot escape
#silly#art#wild west smp#wwsmp#wwsmpamari#artists on tumblr#fanart#you cannot make me do backgrounds i refuse#give me solid color backgrounds or give me death#also if it looks funky don't tell me i've stared at it too long#ibis paint thinks this took me 13 hours. it took me like maybe 3 max#the scarf alone took like a half hour#it looks cool but at what cost /silly
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$35 doodle commission for Ava!
#25 for the lines 10 for the color#took me a little over an hour but only cause i was dumb and watched youtube while drawing for the forst half#feelin pretty good about my time :)#experimented with halftones but i dont like how the ones i have are difficult to change the size of#art#doodle#commissions#digital art#artists on tumblr#my art#clip studio paint#illustration#trans artist#queer art#commissions open#art commissions#emergency commissions#commissions are open#open commissions#sketch commission#i wish i could JUST do doodle coms but i cannot survive on that alone#but boy it sure is faster#less pressure#mmm
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(Finally posting) Malyice’s backstory.
[Timeline: Backstory(here) - Inbetween events/discoveries - Present day(aka when they joined their party members]
⚠️CW/TW: Gore, didn’t bother to spellcheck, childhood trauma, neglect, self-hatred and hatred toward others, racial conflict, death, death of loved ones, accidental genocide, attempted murder, witches, burning etc.. Malyice POV:
“In short, before I was born my parents were both elves like me. My mother was a high elf and my father was a wood elf. There was a nearby village of just humans who absolutely hated magic. They thought it was the devils spawn or something. One day the human and elf villages broke into a nasty war. My father died in that war. My mother was held hostage at the humans village and died due to childbirth there. So that’s how I was born into a human village. I don’t know why the humans didn’t kill me. But they named me “Malyice” (pronounced Malice). They were scared of me developing any magic so I didn’t grow up like the other kids. I had no education or attention from anyone. I’m self taught in almost everything I know to this day. Years and years later a little witch in training named “Willow” and her mother came by to sell some things to the village. The humans still hated magic but let them come by as long as they didn’t use any magic while in the area. I ran into Willow when I was sitting on the roof one afternoon and we talked. Well, she talked I still didn’t know how to talk yet. I could understand her though. We eventually became friends. Her and her mother would pass by every few months or year-ish. As we got older Willow taught me how to read and write and all these other things. She was the only one who talked and cared about me. But over the course of my life I felt so many emotions. I wanted to hurt the humans for how they were treating me. I wanted to hurt their feelings too. But I couldn’t bring myself to do that. Those emotions built up so badly that they latched into my soul like a leach. Willow also taught me some magic in secret. See taught me fire magic, and how to turn anything into a little doll. She warned me to never use it on people and I agreed. That would be crazy right? I tried to fix my aching soul on my own in the woods one day. That was one of the worst mistakes I’ve ever done. I tried to rip the infected parts away from my soul and it backfired. I was physically and mentally torn to shreds very slowly, and painfully. It was agonizing pain that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Maybe not even the humans. Maybe. I was tangled in my own emotions, that became literal as chains burst through my inners, ripping me to little fleshy chunks. But, somehow, my soul was pieced back together. The other fragments were no longer corrupting my soul like a parasite, but instead they were apart of my own. Filling in the new holes in my heart. Everything hurt and all I could hear was whispers and the ringing of my ears. Which was more like static if you ask me. Eventually Willow found me on the ground and writhing in pain. In a pool of my own tears and blood. Willow picked me up and ran back to my village hoping to find a doctor or anyone with the knowledge to try and help me.
But. When she arrived, everyone saw my corrupted body and blamed Willow for what happened. They thought she used magic on me or convinced me to use it. I fell weakly and harshly out of her arms as the humans snatched her by the wrist. They tied her up on a pile of wood and paper. They thought it would be appropriate, and hilarious to burn her like they would any other witch. The match was lit and all I could see and feel was the burning heat against my punctured and newly patterned skin. I felt hardly awake but it was mortifying to see this happen. I wanted to save her but I didn’t know what to do. Without thinking I casted firebolts all around the humans in a panic. Some hit houses, some hit civilians, and some hit carts of dynamite. A chain appeared which untied Willow and she fell to the ground, unmoving. I crawled over to her to check on her. She was unconscious, but alive. Not for long. I could tell she only had a few seconds of life remaining. We promised we’d travel the world together someday. This couldn’t happen it just couldn’t. I could hardly see her burnt-up face through my fountain of tears. This is when I realized; I loved her. I loved her so much. I watched her face as her life faded infront of my eyes. 3.. 2…..pause. I felt the newly created fabric in my hands. Without thinking I had turned my best and only friend into a doll. I couldn’t let her die I just couldn’t. Doll in hand, I managed to just barely escape the burning village. I watched everything I had ever known, and despised, burn before my eyes. And it was all my fault. If I hadn’t gotten all caught up in my emotions, Willow wouldn’t be a doll and I’d still have an old rug to sleep upon. I tried to take control of something I couldn’t and I lost who I loved most. Or did I? To this day I have no idea if this doll had any sense of consciousness. Or maybe it’s just stuffing and fabric. The only sound in my ears was the crinkling of flames and the static in my skull which would forever cling to my messy, fleshy form.
At least, that’s what I would have told you if I was strong enough.”
#Oooo lore~#You can see the relationship between Malyice and Willow as romantic or platonic it doesn’t matter to me#In case you were wondering where Willows mom was during the last bit Willow was old enough to go selling on her own then#-so her mom was selling in a distant village#malyice#malyice dnd#malyice oc#dnd#in character rp#dnd character#in character blog#d&d oc#d&d#dungeons and dragons#Half in character post?#Writing#short story#tw#cw#Now we know why Malyice sucks with social stuff and hates to be alone#And she got all her “self taught” stuff from reading books in the library. That’s also how she found out about the war and all that#I’ll make a more detailed post later if someone wants it#This took and hour and a little to write#The rest of the party members if they knew this: 😨!
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#day 4 on bupropion#i need to vent. bc today was mostly decent. cause at least i could control my emotions and not cry at every little thing#but ended just as badly as i was feeling yesterday. i feel rly sad rn#when im productive i feel great but when im trying to relax? i feel like i need to find something productive to do immediately.#its like i need to do everything but i have no desire to do anything#im like. lying in bed at 2 am grieving my hyperfixations hard. been crying for the past 3 hours#bc i just cant sit down and enjoy anything without feeling like im forcing myself. and i already miss feeling things when i play video game#idk if i can do the 4-6 weeks of this before side effects normalize. everyone says it gets better#and even that is making me feel guilty bc it took me this long to get help and i already want to quit on my first week#i have an appointment with my dr on friday but fuck. the last 3 nights have felt like weeks. its so hard falling asleep.#it really doesn't help that this med is making me. stupid. i have about 10 seconds worth of memory before the thought is deleted#literally forgetting what i'm talking about midway through a sentence#but hey. at least my memory is so bad i cant remember what i did today and overthink every action. i guess.#and maybe tmi. but my libido is gone... like completely nonexistent now#some people literally take this shit to help w a low libido!!! but for me it is doing the exact opposite!!! what is wrong with my body#and to top it off i can't drink even a half cup of coffee without panic attacks. i miss iced coffee already :(#cant enjoy shit anymore and my adhd feels 10 times worse than it did before bc i can't sit still to save my life.#anyway im yapping so much but i need to because im feeling so alone#some side affects im getting r common and manageable but some are pretty uncommon and its hard finding anyone who relates...
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today i'm going home so i can get my flu shot and vote with my family... hopefully both go well
#melonposting#the last time i went home was for my covid booster and to spend rosh hashanah with my family#...neither really went well honestly haha#i won't go into detail on the family stuff#but i half-fainted half-dissociated after getting the covid booster#i had gone to the cvs with my dad and i was already feeling bad cuz of the family stuff#and then we got there and i got the shot. eeeugh terrible#i sat down in one of the chairs nearby to rest a moment#like i am after any vaccination i was nonverbal and mentally disturbed#my dad tried to give me water but i didn't move to take it#after a bit he said we should head home sooner rather than later so i could rest#then i suddenly got up and walked in a random direction without him for some reason#i bumped into a shelf and fell over#weirdly i had no emotional reaction to it at the time#i just felt pain in my face where i hit the shelf and could hear voices asking if i was okay#then i got up and my dad took my hand and led me out of the cvs#he asked me why i'd gone off by myself. of course i wasn't in a position to answer verbally anyway but i genuinely didn't know#my memory of the event was fuzzy immediately after it happened...#so we went home and i went upstairs to my parents' room so i could have time alone to rest#needless to say i cried :') i was uncomfortable and in pain and confused and distressed#i recovered over the next few days at home for rosh hashanah but i felt weird the entire time#physically... feeling feverish and woozy...#and also mentally... staying cooped up on the couch in the living room for hours#playing with blocks... in a strange childish and detached sort of mood...#like i was a terminally ill child in a hospital bed#it was very strange#i'd been well aware at that point that i react badly to covid boosters but this whole experience was just bizarre#i'm able to cope with flu shots better. they're still disturbing but my physical/mental reaction is less severe
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There's a place in the City™️ that's a "classic American diner" - but of American has the concept and the design more than anything else - but in their menu there's a waffle tower. Legit for waffles piled up that you can have with anything they want. And last night, I literally dreamt them, like in the scenes from the movies I used to watch when I was a kid. So now I want them all.
#then i remember the last time it took me almost an hour and half to finish 1 waffle so i could never ever do it alone#and pls let's not talk about how much that stuff costs!#anyway they were very good in my dream#about waffles and piles of 'em#🧇🧇🧇🧇🧇🧇🧇🧇
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i love when my parents talk about me when they think i cant hear them 🤑🤑
#mom said im a control freak#this is because when i lose control i fuck up and will ruin my chances of having a future hope this fucking helps#also. said by someone whos only home half the time and half of that time im at school. you dont know me lmao#im not pretending im perfect but you dont see me shut the fuck up and take it for like five hours a day#even like yesterday. took 20 mins to get out of bed. my assigned partner hasnt put a word down on our doc#seating chart in my next class left me pretty much alone. fucking panic attack#i had to stay 30 minutes after to finish an assignment because i didnt do it fast enough#because when im not hard on myself i dont get anything fucking done!
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Fascinating thing happened today i was in a meeting after lunch and about to pass out from how sleepy i was (which is crazy bc it was in person and there were only three of us in the room) i was mostly just there to sit in so i didn't need to participate and i fully slipped into my eyes open stage 1 sleep fugue state and was like that for around twenty minutes where 100% of my conscious brain went towards trying to act normal and not close my eyes and i didnt understand a single thing that was said and barely remember any of it now BUT the really fascinating part was at the end of that 20 min i "woke up" and between one blink and the next i could understand the words and diagrams in front of me again and colours became more saturated? It felt like catching the moment between being awake and falling asleep except the other way around.
#i do this a lot after lunch sitting at my desk or in 8am classes but im usually alone and ppl arent paying attention to me#ill just scribble alien handwriting in my notebook for like half an hour and i snap out of it feeling like i took a power nap#which i guess it basically is#and by alien handwriting i mean i think im writing coherent English sentences but i look at it after and its lines of scribbles#sidney talks shit
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What's your interpretation of the weird/annoyed look Five gets on his face when Tegan announces that she wants to rejoin the TARDIS at the end of Arc of Infinity? I know it was probably meant to be played for laughs, but it annoys me every time i watch that episode and i'm curious what headcanons people have about it.
My favourite thing I've read about it pointed out that the cybermen specifically used Tegan as a weakness against five, that she's what it took to manipulate him (and through no fault of either of them, Adric's death was part of those consequences.) The novelisation really goes in to the descriptions of the doctor transfixed with the blood running down Tegan's chin from her bitten lip, the building tension as the cybermen get closer and closer to killing her and he's shaking trying to hold himself back from admitting his hearts are so easy to twist, just by threatening his friends. (Does Nyssa ever leave the TARDIS when it's on the spaceship? The cybermen don't even know she exists til they come onboard do they?)
As for why he looks so annoyed? hmmm. Does anyone want someone around that constantly needles them? Really, I think pre Arc of Infinity that even though Tegan had chosen to stay, they still had that power imbalance or even just tension between them that she had not come on board willingly. So five is expecting that to be the continuing, I don't know, continuing manner between them and it hadn't been good. It had its moments (mainly in the audios) but as an arrangement it was not ideal as friends to explore the universe together, all that terrible beauty and awesome monsters.
But it doesn't continue on in that manner - oh they bicker and make faces at each other, sure, but Tegan's conscious decision to step back onto the TARDIS irons out those imbalances, removes that bitterness and the past of her aunt's death. So when he makes that wee face, it's in expectation of the previous status quo. And never let it be said that Tegan's one to do exactly what's expected of her.
Anyway I really hope this makes sense and I may add some more thoughts later but it's 1:50 am Christmas Eve and I couldn't sleep for thinking about this.
----
It's 2am I'm back. I feel like there's also this uneasiness in five about tegan, that mirror that no one likes being held up to themselves. Their similarities but the starkly different ways they express them must be exhausting to five. and here she is back again. To push and prod and challenge and be brashly beautifully glorious. wait. that last bit was the two am shipper coming out. Anyway they draw strength and resolve and anger from each other and Tegan was vital to five, from his first moments till his very last.
#again sorry if it's not coherent but it's been a WEEK. and it's still going.#look away if you're not interested because whatever it's my boring life stuff but. worked sunday and tuesday. thursday my boss texted me#did i want to go up to the next largest city flights and accomodation paid and worked for two weeks at their branch of our shop.#(i said no thank you but holy sht.) and that whole day we'd been taking the house apart looking for dads santa outfit for reading#night before christmas to the kids. utterly gone. nowhere to be found. sister said she had one so we were like oof we can relax it's fine.#sister did not in fact have one. so we took the house apart again. still not here. friday i went out and bought the fabric and fur to Make#one (six straight hours work on the jacket alone) and the kids come up to decorate their trees.#oh! and! when i went in to work to buy the fur (i can only purchase stuff of managers it's store policy) she was like. you can't leave the#shop. stay here. and i went no???? have i done something wrong??? but another manager came down and the managers had put together little#Christmas gift bags for everyone which is so sweet because i still feel like I'm there on sufferance even though it's been like 4 months.#but then. seven o'clock or so when i was still cutting up panne velvet i get an email from the boss who offered me the chch opportunity -#he's now quitting his position at our store. two weeks notice. so I'm stressed about that because we had a good thing going where he'd text#me once a week. we'd arrange extra shifts and that was it. what if the new store manager sucks or hates me or something??#and I've got like five half finished advent fics but i just. don't have the spoons between work tired and c19 brain fog and christmas tired#anyway none of this is about five and Tegan I'm so sorry i just need about ten more weighted blankets on me.#five#tegan#an ask a palpable ask#srsly i love being asked about them or any dw opinions you are so wonderful in my eyes#tbh the advent fics are getting to the point i might just post them all the way through January and when i write little ficlets. people#seem vaguely to be enjoying them but trying to do a December thing was a bit much.#I've just realised this week was even longer. last Saturday we spent the whole day out of town with the kids. and Tuesday we went out of#town to do the stuff we'd planned to do before we had to babysit them on our planned trip day. jfc no wonder I can't brain straight
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I’m back in Japan and I’m so happy to have cell service again I could weep
#the Denver airport is plagued with construction#😒😒😒#and so is the Osaka airport#😠😩#took me an extra half hour to even figure out how to send bags#let alone wait in the line for doing it#and I am so tired and I’m debating just crawling into bed as soon as I get home#or waiting a couple hours
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