#it sucks though that theres no community for us

[redriverstyx]

turns out i have fasd (fabulous amazing silly disorder) 👍

[stellarstarryyy]

How ive been feeling posting on my sideblog for the past year

[fappellmoan]

like you need to get this picture. im actually at a point of like angry stress tears monday my professor had cornered me and then talked shit abt me behind my back and again demonstrated a need for a ketamine addiction im stressed out of my mind im like i have no privacy i havent had me time in forever i lock myself in the bathroom get like 10 mins to myself and then i hear a commotion people are knocking from several points of entry that i had locked and i didnt even have time to form an excuse bc i walked out and three extra girls on top of my roommates and one friend are standing in the living room with all of the one’s stuff packed up in suitcases. and im standing there with my hands freshly washed just like huh. well.

[eikae]

holy shit here it is! the stupid picture I reuploaded 12 years ago bc I thought it was funny and deleted because it got sooo popular and I didn't want people to think that I:

1. intentionally was trying to co-opt someone else's content

2. was only pretending to like The Matrix once "they" found out I hadn't seen it (a real fear I had that could have been at least mitigated by watching it but I didn't do that and it would have seemed disingenuous to me either way)

3. couldn't spell "believe"

[orcelito]

I was on call for nearly 7 hours between streaming my samurai game, watching anime, and then just chatting some. Which was really great for getting my mind off things!!! Hung out with a good assortment of friends, which was pretty great.

Though. Now I'm alone again. Which I usually enjoy. But it also has me remembering why I was on such a long call to start with...

I have therapy tomorrow, and I don't know whether I should mention this. She's primarily my grief therapist, so it'd maybe feel weird to spring something else on her... but I don't know...

[molabuddy]

I haven’t played ggg yet(too focused on beastieball & no steam money) but I plan to eventually….. really don’t know what it’s about atm though. From what ive discerned it’s about a bunch of little freaks and some are gay in love??

THIS IS TRUE THIS IS TRUE.... there are a Bunch of little freaks (and some really big freaks) and some of them are gay in love... (I WENT AUTISM AND SUMMARISED GGG DOWN HERE IF U WANT TO READS ↓)

GREAT GOD GROVE is a funny little puzzle game about this place called the grove... and that's where the Gods are. and every thirty three years a Giant Hole opens in the sky, and the gods gotta come together to close it, bc if it gets too big then the world Will end!

BUT THIS TIME the grove's new specialest human, a mail carrier named King who was about to become the next new god, went AWOL and started sending rude letters to the other gods... so now there's chaos! misunderstanding!! the gods arent getting along!!!

so you play as a weird little cowpoke thing who was on a vacation to the grove when King's mail cannon (the megapon) fell on their head..... and now youve gotta take it up to help the people and gods of the grove communicate with eachother, and figure out what happened to King! using the power of sucking up dialogue bubbles and the occasional item and shooting them back at other characters. (you can bark at people. you can run around and tell everyone you love them. you can throw rocks & toys at people.)

you and the devious device (megapon) ↓

and also theres gay people! part of your quest involves doing gay matchmaker multiple times! and So many characters and all of them are weird little lovable freaks and so many of them have difficult to impossible to tell genders theyre just out here.... literally every character is a delight a joy.

theres also like. some boys. theres like some weird little guys in this game. one of them is a god also his name inspekta hes the Boss of little guys .. but surely they arent important

[lovebvni]

Pick - A -Pile (love themed from 07.30.2022)

again, briefing you by saying this is from 2022. i was a different person two years ago, LMFAO

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│ᵒᵖᵉⁿⁱⁿᵍ ᵐᵉˢˢᵃᵍᵉ...

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[ 🖊 ] created ⋮ 18.7.22

[  ] published ⋮  30.7.22

˚₊·͟͟͟͟͟͟͞͞͞͞͞͞➳❥ ꒰ ⌨ ✰ Arsyn   ⋆  ⁱˢ ᵗʸᵖⁱⁿᵍ··· ꒱ | ೃ࿔₊•

┊       ⋆     welcome to my blog !

┊     °

For starters, I am so sorry how long its been since i did a pick a pile (2 months?) and I'm praying this isn't my last one of the year. I'm moving and I cant bring my tarot card with me and I'm worried I wont have them for a while.. Anyways lets stop being depressing.

Hello! Welcome to a pick a pile. This is a general reading, everything should be taken with a grain of salt. Hundreds of people may read this, everything I say in your pile(s) will NOT resonate. Today we have (the first one is pretty much 2 different piles)4 piles and the following questions.

1. How far are you on your shifting journey?

2. a general message from ur s/o.

along with these questions i will give things that may draw you to your pile. i will be using tarot and oracle cards.

now please take everything with a grain of salt!

breathe in...

and out...

now please, pick a pile or two

[pile 1,2

pile 3,4]

Welcome pile one!!

let me see what may resonate for this pile before this reading, as confirmation this is the right pile: true, the colour hot pink, passion, cold-hearted and cold-blooded, "remember why you started", "everything is for a reason", "life isnt fair sometimes, and that sucks", deities, ocean, water, "i'd rather do this alone"

For the first question, How far are you in your shifting journey?

the lovers

ok so there are 2 different energies in this pile. the first one being those in the honeymoon era, they're just beginning shifting and think its everything and more! romanticizing the idea of being with their s/o and shifting. you're almost turning a blind eye to the other parts of shifting, the fact its ACTUAL FUCKING LIFE! its not just a perfect place, man, its like your cr. you're going to have altercations, fights, and everything else.the others are in the ones who know about shifting, and have been doing it for a few months, maybe even years. you're in the people who know how it is but you're getting back into shifting. who are starting to love it and understanding that shifting is a great thing that you shouldn't have stopped/taken that long of a break. you're almost in a 'new love/ new beginnings' era. you're getting reading to pull off the side of the highway. GET BACK INTO IT!! YOU GOT THIS!!

What does your s/o want to tell you?

so i was called to get an oracle card for this.

"Nothing is yet set in stone, mutable moon" and "Expect a powerful change, new moon eclipse"

The Chariot

these are for the two different energies. the first honeymoon era people are being told you can change how you are and how you see things. dont change your whole personality ofc, just how you see things. dont hold it back. waves change sometimes, the water isnt a different formula though. sobbing of course loki's card came out. you're going to move forward at a rapid pace, and have fun with it! take this and you'll shift soon!

3 of cups 3 of swords

the new beginnings era is reflected in the new moon. new ways of seeing things, new methods, change. theres a lot of change. going on, new ways of seeing things. new friends, new advice. stop doing this alone, its only hurting you, i feel like your energy was in my last pick a pile too. sharing is the best way to understand things. people can relate and give advice to move forward. I feel like you've been in a heartbreak before/toxic friendships/or you're just shy so you dont want to talk to theres about this. you need to communicate. it will help you a LOT.

thank you pile 1!! i hope this resonates 

welcome pile 2!

confirmation this is the right pile: late nights, deep breathing, burning bridges, endings, cupid, wings, outdoors, flowers, loops, asleep methods. purple, blue, shinsou, iida, speed, fire signs, water signs.

1. How far are you on your shifting journey?

oracle: have faith in ur dreams waxing crescent moon, dont let pride get in your way

tarot: the sun, three of swords reversed, four of cups

i feel like this pile has overcome a lot. you guys may have shifter or are VERY VERY close to shifting. i mean like days or even a few weeks away. this pile may make you really like self centered almost? may have been told this before but as long as you dont get cocky, you will shift. dont roll your eyes and say 'ugh, this again'. YOU GOT THIS! try meditating before you shift. maybe try channeling for advice. a friend what they heard for you. do one of those 'what messages do you hear for me' things! they may be helpful. i also recommend that you use an asleep method, and visualize what you feel. i dont care if you're "not good at it" just fucking try man, you're getting nowhere by pouting.

2. a message from your s/o.

oracle: show the world the real you full moon in aquarius, hold your vison fixed moon

tarot: three of wands reversed, five of wands reversed

with these two cards coming out i heard "i know you feel like youre back tracking, but you're really not. keep pushing yourself, dont let anything change how. do take the advice you have been given and dont ire yourself. if you feel like its not the night, keep pushing because your brain could just be telling you otherwise. listen to your heart.

welcome pile 3! it is 12:23AM as im typing this

heres confirmation this is ur pile!

: 711, stubborn, holding onto the past, letting go, pink, red, past love, new love, royalty dr, red and blue, SERIOUS mood swings, tamaki, ohchs, polyamory

1. How far are you on ur shifting journey?

oracle: work through your fears new moon in scorpio, conlusions are winthin reach full moon eclipse

tarot: ten of torches (wands) reversed, 10 of cups reversed, queen of torches, two of swords,

i feel like this pile is holding onto past fears/anxieties. you need to push through these and you'll see big changes. i heard shadow work and i feel like you've done this before/been told to do this before. but you didnt. i feel like there was a manipulative divine feminine energy here. someone who was passionate and maybe your relationship/friendship fell apart. i feel sad for this pile because you guys were really close to you. you trusted them with your life. you're still sad about this. heartbreak happens.

2. message from ur s/o

oracle: believe in the impossible, blue moon

tarot: page of cups, the sun reversed, 3 of coins

i feel like your s/o is saying although you dont know who they are (your s/o may be undecided) but they're watching you during your highs and lows. they're rooting for you. they're so happy you're shifting. they want to hug you so tight one day and just be able to stay with you. i hear that sometimes your highs and lows are uncontrolable, shadow work may help you. you may have tried shifting in a past life and gave up completely. this is the life you will finally do it.

Pile 4!

Last pile! yall dont know how happy i am to be on the last pile. its almost 1:30 am im tired asf bc i fixed my sleep schedule.

confirmation: addiction, sweets, hearts, queen of hearts, alice in wonderland, playing cards, 333, missing out/feeling left out,

How far are you on your shifting journey?

oracle: i was guided not to grab any

tarot: the hanged man, nine of torches, three of pentacles reversed

you're at a point of being stuck. like you were in a web. you're moving out of it a little bit but you stopped and said "well the rain will get me out." you're relaxing trying to let the universe do the work. take that knife out your pocket and get to work man! you're wanting something but doing nothing. thats lazy. if you dont put anything in theres no chance of getting it back.

A message from your s/o.

oracle: Thake your time and breathe out disseminating moon

tarot: ace of wands, temperance reversed, three of wands, ace of cups reversed

you know you have great creative potential. why dot you use it to make your own method? write what makes you so happy to shift. express how much you love your s/o in a letter. they're telling you to use this creativity you have stored up in you for the good. it will benefit you and everyone around you. you may inspire someone else! they're telling you to take a step back from a hard situation and work on a side quest, almost. it will help you in the long run (like getting a level advantage over one of the bosses) i can tell you're getting impatient. learn that everything happens for a reason. take a break. focus on something else. dont make shifting the only thing you're looking forward to in life. okay? once you do this you'll move forward although it will be hard to realize (for you) that shifting ISNT WHAT LIFE IS ABOUT!

thank you all for reading! i hope it resonated. i worked on this from 11pm to 2 am omg

ONCE AGAIN, THIS WAS ORIGINALLY POSTED IN 2022.

[kitmoas]

WOAH im 2 on this wonderful hellsite?

First off I wanna start out by saying I know that this year I've been a bit MIA :( I basically ended TGU Season 1 and left you guys pretty high and dry until I started posting some Halloween fics (no one look at the fact that I'm missing a couple of those)

I have had a pretty busy year but I wanna just do a lil backtracking and talk about it. Ive gotten to do some amazing things this year. I got to meet and be with my gorgeous girlfriend @themidnightcrimson <3 (hi lil sickie). I got to meet daddy, mommy, and Dragon Mommy with my best friends @maximotts and @belovaskitkat (the 4$ water at con truly did something to us). I got a few promotions throughout the year even if my job literally makes me want to die (Im frantically typing this BEFORE i go into work even though its Christmas Eve and my tumblr birfday)

I got to get closer to so many people and I just know that even though so many shitty things happened this year and so many things really tanked most people's year that I have some of the best people that surround me.

I just want to thank you all for being here and being part of my lil chaos community. I want you guys to know that even when Im being a lil cryptid that I do remember you guys and will always come back!

That being said I am going to give a shoutout to some lil gay people in my phone and then also theres a poll right there that you guys should vote on, cause I am going to give you guys a gift even tho its my 2nd birfday

HI LIL GAY PEOPLE IN MY PHONE. IM BEING GAY AND LOVIN ON YOU

@bunplushyy @crescent-witch @caroldantops @wandasdolly @scarlettwlw @didujustcallmedumb @didntalwayslookthisrough (Lain wtf it won’t let me tag you) @softlymaximoff @inkblot-inc @furys-eyepatch there’s prolly more and I suck and am running out of time so if you see this and we have spoken even once this year. I fucking love you lil gay person

Also. All my lil nons. I love you guys so fucking much. Okay? I know I don’t know who you are exactly but thank you 🥺🥺🥺💖💖

[psychabolition]

please feel free to ignore since it's a bit much, but i feel like im too worthless and unpalatable even for other similar people, whether i make myself tolerable enough or stay raw and genuine. how do i ever find enough help and community to survive? i get so much comfort from the literature, but it's not enough, therapy's not enough, and i'm too different from other people to be allowed to live even inside my house not bothering anyone

I highly recommend finding a subculture thats from and for people who deviate extremely from social norms. People there are so much nicer and also way more relatable than people that you meet just anywhere. It can still take time and be tough to get into such a community when youre not used to socializing (in groups) especially when you dont already know someone from the subculture and just randomly show up lol but I promise its worth it. It just takes time. When youre friends w only 1 person there youre already set lol bc then its super easy to get to know everyone else.

Also what you described with being too different, I get it. I used to have a hard time with identifying as HUMAN bc I felt so extremely different from everyone else and honestly I truly am very different from most people and I've actually experienced very unusual things that others dont have. But finding community in very norm-deviating places is a really cool experiences since its not you VS """normal"" people anymore but suddenly everyone is a freak and deviates extremely from norms that you yourself might not even deviate from. And whats awesome about that is that you learn really fast to accept all this diversity and others do the same w your differences. At least thats my experience !

Also your feeling is probably caused by isolation and will automatically go away when you find a group of people that you can relate to - at least thats what it was like for me. So its not like you have to change feeling this way before you connect with others, by connecting with others this feeling will go away.

Heres some "Subculture" communities that i know from my city (they overlap a lot):

queer community (I've gone to one of the regular meetups that they promote on their websites to get to know people and Ive went to small drag shows in bars - if you want to try drag yourself then awesome! its a v easy to join group)

leftist/antifa/punk/anarchist community (we have small libraries and little cafes to meet up and bars with live music !, lots of people learn an instrument and join small rock/punk bands)

communists (they love their book clubs so if you enjoy this kind of literature def go there)

goth (I only know some small night clubs where goth ppl go to)

hiphop/rap/graffiti (I only know people from the leftist hiphop scene lol i bet theres another more male dominated scene too)/skating community (loveliest people - you can go alone to the skatepark and people will be so nice to you and they'll start talking to you and giving you tips, you have to find a skatepark that people actually enjoy going to though lol theres lots that suck)

also some martial arts studios have a real community especially when its a more niche sport like BJJ

techno scene (illegal raves,many house parties, those people usually either love to take drugs or are always sober, a lot of people are in DJ collectives and everyone whos interested is invited to learn how to become one )

downhillbiking (the people there are not that norm deviating lol but always open for anyone to join no matter who you are theyre v queer friendly and also politically left - people have trails that they make together , meetups for newcomers, meetups for showing each other how to repair your bike, all that)

bouldering (mostly students go there if youre from a city lol so not much of a community EXCEPT when youre from the countryside then its a real community , its also really easy to get to know people there though especially if youre a student yourself)

theres a reggae/ska live music bar scene here where everyone knows each other but its mostly from the very small black community here so Im not part of that obv

ok this is very niche and might sound weird but theres a gastronomy scene in my city lol !! my partner works as a cook and everyone knows each other ?? they meet up in closed bars/restaurants from each other and theyre all v queer and v unusual people who have the best parties ... they love their drugs though, you wont get better weed hash coke or shrooms anywhere else trust me, a lot of them deal w drugs themselves tbh)

Theres more that I dont know obviously and some are easier to join than others in my opinion ..I personally would recommend to try an antifa cafe/communists book club or a queer community regulars meetup - they usually publish their meetups on a website so newcomers can join easily even if they dont already know people . Also you can just go to one of those antifa libraries and get a book there lol and then ask people there if theres like events for newcomers that dont know anyone else yet). If youre from the countryside it might be harder for you to find communities like this but they definitely exist and the people there are usually even closer to each other and more welcoming than those in cities ! (what i know also exists at my village/countryside: techno community!!!, queer, bouldering, downhillbiking, antifa).

[dnalt-d2]

QSMP 2024 THINGS

OH BOY OH BOY IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN

TIME TO TALK ABOUT THINGS THAT HAPPENED TODAY, HOW I FEEL, AND THINGS I PREDICT

To start off with, I maintain my stance of "Fuck that Rabbit." I never liked the Duck, and this fucking camera-staring-at Rabbit is irritating me even moreso. May he perish in the flames of capitalism that he has created

Also fuck that narrator guy. He has no right sounding so jovial

(And god I can't believe the Duck really never did anything SERIOUSLY FUCK THAT GUY /lh)

Regarding the paywall thing, I kind of like the idea of it in certain increments. I know that Etoiles has been praying to any deity that will listen for the Nether to open, and I'm sure he's happy to know he can pay those deities off now. On the other hand, I've already seen a decent amount of discouragement on the lack of Create. I'm hoping that's the second thing to get unlocked for both Tubbo and AyPierre's sakes

And in terms of the reset itself, I also like the idea of it somewhat. I'm sure I'm not the only one who sometimes likes to start these types of games over for that fun feeling of playing from the ground up. Though maybe the mobs should be a little weaker, since everyone's starting from scratch. Then again, Etoiles has like a million Dark Metal, so

It's also nice seeing the beginning of these communities. Phil becoming Cellbit's temporary neighbor before he begins his nomadic lifestyle. And of course theres the up and coming Home of Fobo where definitely no one is Homophobic

Though speaking of Phil and Cellbit, I also maintain my disappointment in the lack of actual rescue mission. Like I was excited for that. I made a comic about it. And while my disappointment doesn't come from my comic being wrong, it does come from the fact that this was a thing that an ADMIN introduced. RICHAS went to Phil to recruit him for the mission, just for them to just do a little cinematic instead. Like I'm guessing this has to do with the delay in the server opening, since it was originally going to open about a week ago. My guess is that the rescue was going to happen this prior week, but because of the delay in opening the server, they decided to nix the rescue entirely and just have them show up on the opening day instead. It sucks, but I guess that's just how the cookie crumbles

AND NOW PREDICTION THING

So remember how Bagi at one point said that the Admins asked them what structures they'd like to have preserved for NO REASON AT ALL????

And how everyone spawned at about -200000 blocks away??

Well I'm kinda hoping that there's some of the original structures, back near that Zero Coordinate. Or maybe there's something else. Obviously I have no basis for any of that, but I think everyone's gonna be upset if they really lose all their builds. Specifically the Dragon, Titan, and Bad's as-of-yet unused Egg Carton. He labored over that for a while, it would SUCK if it just never got used at all. My other hope is that there's a pay-goal for bringing some structures back. That'd be a neat way to incorporate that feature. Not to mention that people who might've been in the middle of projects can get back to said projects. I think that's the main problem with losing everything, a lot of plans have essentially been destroyed

And now an Analysis

So fun fact, you know how Ducks and Rabbits are both heavily associated with Easter, which celebrates the death and rebirth of a certain person?? And how the server has essentially been reset and reborn??

Yeah that I guess, that's all I've got on that really

All I've got in general really

Here's to 2024, everyone. And the further loss of sanity we and the Islanders shall all endure

yee

[farmerlesbian]

hi farmer lesbian!

so ive identified as bisexual for a long time but ive discovered recently i feel very comfortable within the lesbian ideas of gender and specifically the butchfemme community. i’ve been dating someone recently who also identified as bisexual but has related to transmasc lesbians understanding of gender as well as posts about butches. we both kind of see ourselves within the butchfemme dynamic but i’ve been very tough on myself with calling myself a lesbian because i’ve dated a man before (…in middle school..)

it’s gotten to the point where i’m really worried to label myself because of what it’d imply for my partner? but also what people would say? and while i know i dont HAVE to label myself it just sucks to know theres an identity im drawn to and feel like i fit into that i cant immediately slip into

hmm i'm not really sure how to guide you here. i guess i want to challenge you on some of the things you're saying here, it feels like you're coming at this from maybe the "wrong" angle (wrong feels too harsh a word, maybe just not the most helpful angle)

you're worried you can't call yourself a lesbian because you dated a boy in middle school? i think.. a LOT of lesbians dated boys in jr. high and high school and there are lots of late in life lesbians who were married to men for years before figuring out who they are and coming out. this is all completely normal and common. like, dating one boy in middle school doesn't really mean much tbh. i wouldn't base your identity or label you use around something like that. i dated a bunch of boys in high school and early college when i was still figuring out who i was. your labels or identity or gender or sexuality don't need to account for all you life experiences and past. it's not so much about your sexual history but describing who you are *now*, what you're interested in, in the present.

you say both you and your partner really like Lesbian Genders and butch/femme stuff. that's nice, but liking and relating to lesbian culture and gender stuff doesn't make you a lesbian haha! it's who you're attracted to and who you're not, that determines your orientation. gender and orientation are different things, as i'm sure you know. obviously very connected and stuff. like, for example, just because someone identifies as a man it doesn't make him straight, even though heterosexuality is an integral part of manhood, in the dominant culture. gay trans men are certainly not rare! the same goes for you guys.

also, remember that transmasculinity is a broad umbrella and encompasses a wide variety of people and their identities and experiences. plenty of butches aren't transmasc, and probably most transmascs aren't butch.

i will tell you that in the course of running this blog and being on the internet, i've probably seen and shared thousands of photos and drawing of people. not once have i ever seen something that represents me and my wife. if you are seeking out representation or examples of the options to be, in order to figure out who/what you are, i would advise against that. seek what feels true to you, what feels honest and right. you do not need to be similar to other people in order to find belonging, acceptance, and community. (though of course this is absolutely nothing wrong or bad if you do find others just like you, if you do fit in to existing roles and dynamics! that is of course perfectly normal!)

now, i don't know you or your partner. you know yourselves best. i can't tell you what you really are or really aren't. and i certainly am not going to tell you what you can or can't be! everything i'm saying here is to prompt you to think about and questions to ponder for yourself.

so, i think you have some points to think about, why have you been identifying as bisexual? what is drawing you to the lesbian label? have you tried using 0 labels and not thinking about your identity or labels for at least a month or two (if not a several months) and then coming back and evaluating it afresh? what about the butch-femme dynamic are you drawn to? what is holding you back? you are allowed to discover that you are a lesbian! or you are allowed to continue to be bisexual! i can't tell you who you are - but you're allowed to be and do whatever you want, whatever feels true to you! even if it doesn't make sense to other people or you don't see anyone else like you out there. you gotta be a little bit brave!

hang in there, and sending much love to you and yours! 🧡

[chubb-e-feeder]

Haii, im new in america and omg theres so many cute chonky peeps, and the food is so big its almost like the american government are feedists its amazing. Any tips on getting in the loop around here? In florda keys rn and i want to get w some cute feedees and feeders uwu

Hey there, welcome to the states! Glad you're enjoying yourself so far, just watch out for the Horrors.

I wish I could give you advice from my own personal experience here, but unfortunately I've never had the opportunity to do any feedism stuff in person.

Engaging with the community here on Tumblr can be really good, but most folks are a little guarded about their location, which I think is super reasonable. Still, a lot of really cool people here!

If you're really set on meeting up with someone irl, feabie is probably your best bet because it uses your location. One small caveat about Feabie though is that it sucks and I hate it. But hey, you might have a better experience.

Above all, I would say in any interaction, here or elsewhere, it's important to recognize that you're dealing with another person, and you need to respect them. Y'know, don't be pushy, don't be a creep, and assume boundaries exist around just about anything unless you get direct confirmation otherwise. Lots of people have lots of different ways they enjoy this kink, and your enjoyment or interest in doing something does not guarantee theirs. You might've noticed that I tend to lean into darker aspects of the kink, but I do my best to avoid exposing folks on the more wholesome side of things to that stuff. It's in everyone's best interest here to foster a safe, respectful, and inclusive community. And if you're looking for a feedist partner, chances are they'll appreciate your role in doing that.

[commander-gloryforge]

hm (kinda a rant/vent/i just wanna get things off my chest and actually TALK about whats been bothering me)

so. theres this person that has kind of been the cause of my recent mental lows/imposter syndrome getting worse/fear of connecting to people and general distance from literally every community i enter. i think ive ranted about them before. theyre a writer and in a community i used to be active in, and in the beginning i got along pretty well with them because we both enjoyed similar themes and metaphors in our writing but they ended up kind of dropping me, coincidentally at the same time they gave my actual writing/current wip a shot, and ever since then theyve been sub posting about me in really weird and elitist ways and it kind of had ruined my spirit, especially considering that i did really look up to them as a writer since theyre very into actual technicalities, writing theory, they speak about writing very academically. their odd vague posting ended up seriously knocking down my confidence and ive been spiraling into this strange mindset ever since that i’m incredibly stupid/can never improve/am not a real or proper writer by virtue of the things i write. they talk highly about writing techniques and concepts every writer needs to know, very subtly punch down at those who dont seem to know, yet dont care to make that knowledge easy to understand or accessible to obtain.

on top of that theyve been getting quite close with another new friend i made recently thats very dear to me and seeing them talk about things i cant seem to keep up with because i am too ‘stupid’ has just made me very anxious and brought up old feelings and fears that ive worked very hard on to let go off. this person is keeping me from interacting with a community i love because i cant seem to get ovr the fact that some people just dont like me, because im getting paranoid, because i think their every word is directed towards me, because theyre popular and well liked and everyone always agrees with them, even when what they say goes against what what i do and like.

it really sucks, its been bothering me so much, especially the fact that i cant just let it go. that i cant just ignore them and move on and do what i like without feeling like its wrong or cringe or weird. everytime i think im ready to go back i suddenly see them talking again with my friends that have offered me so much support whenever ive opened up about my struggles and now they suddenly agree and praise that person for having opinions that directly oppose me and the things they were so keen on supporting me on.

but recently i remembered something they said. they said that they dont want to be self indulgent in their writing, that ‘there’s nothing necessarily wrong with self indulgence but it reflects in the writings quality’, that you can ��tell’ and they dont like that. when they first posted that i just read it and went. oh :( my writing is self indulgent :( does this reflect in my quality as well? is that why they dropped my writing and me, because i like being loud about self indulgence and cringe? and now i remembered that post, and suddenly it kind of clicked

this person very obviously does not write for the same reason as i do. they very obviously do not feel about writing thhe way i feel about it. they talk about it as though it is a science. like its something that needs to be perfected. now, it’s clear that they do love writing, that they have a passion for it, and their technical knowledge very much reflects on their art- and that impresses people. im not like that. i want to learn writing techniques and i want to improve my craft and i want to be taught, properly so, i obviously want to be a good writer, and im going to be a little self obsessed and say that i am a good writer, or at least not a bad one. but there is a difference in how each of us sees writing.

i want to be self indulgent. i want to write what i love. i fucking love writing and story telling and yes, the fact hat my writing is self indulgent does impact the quality of my work, because it makes it better. i am passionate about my worlds and stories and characters because its exactly what i want it to be and thats why is fucking good. because it makes me want to put effort in and learn how to get better. i dont write for a grade, i dont write to make something perfect and deep and meaningful and serious, i dont write to impress someone, i dont write to squeeze as many smart things and references to classic literature in as i can, i write because i want to fucking write what i like.

so im stupid. so im cringe and bad and insecure and a loser and i dont fit into the good writers club but at least what i write makes me happy. whatever. let some fucking whimsy into your life and stop treating me like im an idiot for having different motivations than you.

[cartoonrival]

what i think is so goddamn frustrating is that its not as if i think im the only single person left in the world, cuz theres a million articles and videos with people talking about how gen z is way less dating-oriented than generations before us. the explanation for why that is varies from source to source, some think its bc we're too online or cuz we're too poor or cuz we're perfectionists or whatever the hell else, and that's fine even though none of that is why. but like every thing you find about how to deal with being single! why are we all single! how to feel better about being single! how to stop being single! are so. fucking. cisnormative 😭😭 like i absolutely cannot describe the emotion of recognizing that my transness makes me nigh undateable and on top of that there is literally no recourse for that because the only conversations happening about how much it sucks to be totally undesirable are being had by cis men who hate women and cis women who, godbless, though their hearts are in better places, have totally unrelatable experiences. and so fucking much about loving yourself as a trans person seems to be about community! what do i do when there is none! what do i do when there is nothing! what do i do!!!!

[davekat-sucks]

>Pride month includes trans pride, and who’s deemed canonically trans by the Huss? THAT’S RIGHT! HOPE YOU LIKE SEEING JUNE EGBERT ON YOUR DASH A WHOOOOOOOOLE LOT AAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL MONTH!

(hopefully this formats the text right i dont use tumblr a lot and i usually only lurk)

Listen anon, this shit aint gonna work. June Egbert is not canon and she wont be, it doesnt matter if she appears on HSBC because let me tell you, its already on its name: BEYOND CANON.

You are not owning transphobes or helping trans people by screaming that June is canon everywhere you go, all you do is annoy people who arent trans and help make those trans stereotype become even worse and that just makes everything more awful than it already is. What you are doing is not helping ANYONE and it just makes you look like an asshole.

In fact Homestuck trans rep sucks as a whole. Vriska sucks in general and people like Kate will use her being "canonically" trans as an excuse when like I said all that does it make things WORSE. June is forced and people like you usually try to force people that its canon when its not and the Roxy one from HSBC is the same thing but nobody gives a shit about one so people usually dont talk about it.

And no just because Hussie said it doesnt mean its true (ie. Andrew Hussie Formstring) and sure the circumstances are different but the webcomic is done, its like if George Lucas claimed Luke Skywalker was actually a trans girl in secret all this time or some shit, it would be nonsensical to suddenly say that when theres never evidence for it + the main material having ended years ago. It has already ended and HSBC is just a non-canonical continuation.

And I don't know how much it "being planned from the beggining" means but I'm pretty sure its about being planned since the epilogues or something and not since the Homestuck Beta from april 10th, look at me in my invisible eyes and tell me that the Hussie from that era was thinking about transgender rights and not about his next webcomic and i dont fucking know that creepy puppet he had as a kid or horses.

AND before you assume Im transphobic, Im not and support trans people because i know how gender dysphoria feels [even though i do feel like some people online are faking it for attention or are there not for support but because they have some fetish which is pretty fucking bad (and Im unsure if fit the label or if I want to fit it considering I dont tell anyone about it at all and everyone online nowdays seems to suck overall and I also dont want to go around telling online strangers on a public profile about it)], so please understand this. June Egbert is not canon and is not a good rep, if you like it then keep it on the parts of the community that like it and stop trying to force "dubiously canon" on everyone. You are causing more harm than good, in fact I think that you are doing might not be doing any good at all.

And because I feel like I didnt let enough steam off Im gonna say this

Fuck June. Fuck her stupid fucking name. Fuck her rep. Fuck Post-Canon. And she and other shit reps deserve to be forced to take a permanent vacation straight to Hell.

Oh and davekat-sucks please keep existing and dont let these people put you down, you are one of the few people in this community nowdays that seems to not be overly aggressive and you allow people to show their opinions without having to fear getting harassed on or getting dragged on a full blown warzone just for not thinking like most people on the community do. Your blog means a lot for fans like us and remember, just because a lot of people seem to disagree with you it doesnt mean you are wrong! ^U^

Thank you for the kind words, Anon. And thank you for this amazing post here too. ✧ദ്ദി( ˶^ᗜ^˶ )

[bunnybeeofficial]

SOOOO totally happy 2 b here!!! im soooo happy 2 meet u all

do u want 2 b happy?

do u want 2 b beautiful??

do u want 2 b mine???

((RULES AND OOC UNDER THE READMORE))

((another blog by me, bunny, the person who came out of nowhere swinging SEMI-LUKEWARM

CAUTION, TRIGGERS AHEAD, NOT ALL WILL BE TAGGED

honey will randomly blip out of existence with my motivation and energy levels! This does NOT mean that she wouldn't be communicating with your OCs during this time. I know it sucks to pilot an npc but please don't just assume honey is ignoring your oc, i seriously do not have the spoons to be as actively extroverted as her. i am an introvert.

theres going to be So much eyestrain on this blog, like to the point that almost every post would have an eyestrain tag, so please keep that in mind!

gifs are tagged "gif" queue tag is "supes cute" food stuff is "yummy stuff" nails are "perfectly painted" art tag is "artsy shit" selfie tag is "super cute selfie" makeup is "looks that kill" clothes are under "wardrobe"

my name is bunny, im 25+, i am not a social person and do not have the energy to talk to a lot of people at once, so either have patience or don't bother

i have several other blogs im not active on, but im most frequently on jujulebee

do not send me IMs in character, i will accept them as ooc if you don't have my discord, otherwise dont

do not leave Replies on my posts, i have stated this multiple times, i don't notice them in the deluge of activity notifications i receive, if you want to have a conversation on a post i have made reblog the post

youre free to ask for my discord but i dont guarantee that ill talk to you regularly, i am not a talkative person

im not Extremely picky with who i follow and will block freely and without hesitation. im here to curate my ideal experience, not save the feelings of a stranger. 

while i understand that ic=/=ooc if your character is transphobic or racist in any way please dont interact, actually

honey wouldn’t want to talk to you anyway

this page does not accept magic anons

please do not godmod to try and fix honeys issues, i dont want that, genuinely

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

honey b azrael was born august 6th, 1998

she’s bi-racial korean, born in texas

she is 4'8" (her boots typically put her at 5’), approx 240 lbs

honey was embraced on january 23rd of 2021

honey's a well-known streamer/virtual idol with a truly Cultish following with a majority of her followers worshipping her akin to a god. she is obssessed with the idea of making people beautiful, with no real concept of what that Beauty is, as she believes beauty is in the eye of the one presenting that beauty, as such she would not change someone without their explicit permission. she loves to be worshipped and idolized, but denying her that adoration does nothing to dissuade her bright personality, there is nothing you can say to convince her she is not worthy of it.

honey is a 6th generation tzimisce, her adoptive sire is delilah and true sire was killed to prevent any complications

⚠️WIP⚠️Strength: 3/5 Dexterity: 2/5 Stamina: 3/5 Charisma: 4/5 Manipulation: 2/5 Composure: 3/5 Intelligence: 2/5 Wits: 2/5 Resolve: 1/5⚠️

honey is a party girl and there will be mentions of drug/alcohol use and i will tag them as “drug mention” or “alcohol mention” if mentioned

nsfw content will be tagged as “nsfw //” or “nsfw language”

⚠️EYES, CULT-LIKE BEHAVIOR, BLOOD, AND BODY HORROR WILL NOT BE TAGGED⚠️

honey is pansexual and disinterested in a romantic relationship but sexually available

honey is doing GREAT and you should trust her

honeys best friend circle consists of dolls, sam, jules, her owl butler hubert, and diana who lives inside of her

she loves making friends and talking to people, though, so feel free to shoot her a message! she WILL talk to you

if your character is rude or just generally mean for no real reason (there are funny exceptions to this rule) honey will not want to speak with you and will probably unfollow you

ooc follows are fine, if i dont interact with your character much ill probably end up unfollowing, though

will add more if i can think of anything