#it sucks so hard to ve trying so so so hard to not fade into tje background that you become another part of the background

[cyclicalaberration]

I need to stand out more

[freezgibux]

Can u write something for reyna 😞 i’m in love with reyna fr and ur writing

Of course! Ty for requesting by the way! AND I JUST REALISED THAT THIS SUCKS!!!!!!!!! But at least i tried. Try to enjoy. Love ya!

Reyna. Oh, what a beautiful woman, isn't she. When you meet her in the corridors of the lair of Valorant, you look at her with admiring eyes. You're in love with her, it's very obvious, and almost the entire staff knows it. You're sitting in the canteen. Omen is cutting the branches of his little tree, and you are surfing the Internet from your laptop. You're bored. Until she came. You couldn't take your eyes off her, your eyes are shining like a bright star on a dark night, full of love! Reyna is looking to you. She sighs. Why did you have to love her? Only….you're just a pain in the ass...right ? When you finally returned to reality, you saw Reyna sipping her coffee and talking to Omen about the contents of your next mission…. Actually, she….she's scary. She's a killing machine, but a hot killing machine. You are smiling to yourself ve…ve you can hear her beautiful voice. Is she calling to you?

"Y/N. I asked you a question."

"H-huh? Huh, yeah? I was watching a video, I didn't hear it."

You're a terrible liar.

"Come with me."

She called you. She wanted to meet with you in private!!! You went with her to a nook and cranny. Suddenly she pushed you against the wall. Her touch was neither hard nor soft.

"Do you think I don't know?"

"T-that you don't know what!?"

"The whole staff knows. Fools don't know, am I an idiot, Y/N?"

"H-no! S-it's just that I-"

She put her index finger on your lips.

"Shhh. Don't shout too much, we'll get caught."

There's a sly expression in her eyes, she's making fun of you, isn't she? Her lips are inches away. You feel her warm breath on your face and you get goosebumps.

"I'm going to try something, don't scream, don't faint, okay, sweetie?"

And that's when she pressed his lips to yours, she was teasing, wasn't she-!? She couldn't have kissed you willingly. You felt like you were going to die. You arebeing kissed by your crush and expected to stay calm? Your body feels like a cage to your heart, you don't even know how fast your heart beats per second. When you return to reality, you return the kiss. You can feel Reyna's grin on your lips.

R:"She's so sweet, so naive. It's a shame it's not mine, isn't it?"

Y/N:"I- is that so?"

She silences you with the kiss, her hands explore your entire body and- wait a minute. This… It's Fade!? It was too late when you realised that she was standing there, watching the initimate moments between you two.

F: I'm going to- I'm going to pretend I didn't see it, okay?

How long has he been there? Damn, this is so embarrassing! But it's Junky for Reyna.

"F-fade please don't tell anyone I-"

"Are you embarrassed, sweetie? It doesn't matter anymore, you're mine, okay, honey?"

She grinned at you, and you wondered what kind of good things might happen to you after that. But it wasn't going to be very good, because love had blinded you.

[rocicrew]

“a lingering kiss before/after a long trip apart” for holden/amos 🥺 maybe a drabble or something!

kissing prompts

Holden was acting jittery. 

That wasn’t anything new. Hell, it was closer to his natural state than calm Holden was. But it also meant he probably wanted to say something and didn’t know how to say it, or found something new to stress about and was tearing himself up for it. Amos had no clue why he’d put himself through that. But then again, there were many things that others did and he didn’t understand.

“Just spit it out, Cap,” he said when he finally got enough of Holden pacing up and down the galley.

A part of him hoped that this whole thing didn’t involve him changing his mind about Clarissa. Hoped. Shit, that was new.

At least, that’d pulled him out of it. But he, still, wouldn't say what he was thinking. He was avoiding eye contact, which wasn't as usual with them, and it bothered Amos how he couldn’t tell if that was a good or bad thing.

When Holden, finally, did speak, his voice came out shaky. “When the rocks hit Earth, I knew logically if there was anyone that would survive it’d be you,” he exhaled sharply and only now, dared to look him in the eyes. “But every day that passed without contact, not knowing if you are dead or alive…”

Amos wasn't entirely sure why Holden was putting himself through this. Things had sucked, and being away from the crew had affected him more than he could have imagined but it was over. They were back. Most of them, anyway. There was no point in digging into those painful memories.

Although, he'd learned a while back that it was better to let Cap talk it out. It wouldn't be the first time he freaked out over Amos nearly dying. So, he listened. 

“I tried to push it aside because there were a million other things to worry about and I couldn't do anything about it. But seeing you again brought it all back and,” he cut himself off like it was hard to say. The look Holden gave him reminded him of Ilus. Desperate and pained and Amos wanted to wipe it off his face immediately.

“I don't know what I'd fucking do if I lost you.”

As soon as Holden said the words, he grimaced because he felt like an asshole. Alex's death felt like a cave inside him, but even the thought of losing Amos or Naomi made it near impossible to breathe. Losing them would be like losing parts of himself. And the guilt for even feeling that made the cave bigger. 

Now he didn't have the distraction of the protomolecule he was chasing all the time they were apart. And every feeling he'd tried, as much as he could, not to feel all this time apart, came rushing to him all at once.

It was overwhelming. 

The lump in his throat had returned and kept growing inside and he feared it'd slowly swallow him whole. 

The hand on his shoulder nearly startled him. He hadn't noticed when Amos had crossed the distance between. But the touch was enough to ground him some. 

“You won't lose me, Jim. 've told you before, I'm the last man standing." 

Jim. That only ever came up if either of them were about to die. Or if Amos wanted to please him. 

“You almost never call me that," Holden argued weakly, betting it was the latter and trying not to focus on everything he spilled out prior. 

He still felt his heart nearly beating out of his chest, but instead of the loss and helplessness, he tried focusing on Amos' steady presence. On the way his muscles flexed when he touched him, the short distance between their bodies, and his intense blue eyes that searched every inch of his face. 

The exact moment his gaze briefly lowered to his lips.

Suddenly, Holden leaped forward, crushing his lips against Amos in a desperate manner. He could've died. Amos could've died and Holden could've lost him.

The fragility of it all, always hit harder in the moments before. This was the first time he felt so frantic after.

Amos reciprocated, pulling him flush against him and kissing him with the same intensity. 

Moment by moment his anxiety faded with Amos's tight hold on him. The grip on his shirt and hip was nearly tight enough to hurt, his steady torso against Holden's, and the feeling of those soft lips he loved so much against his, grounded him like nothing else. 

Every time he felt like he was about to float away, Amos grounded him better than mag boots. He didn't know if it was the fact they were both from Earth that did it. It's not like they had similar life experiences anyway. So Holden was inclined to think it was just who the mechanic was.

His best friend, his rock, his… lover. 

Funny how he'd describe Naomi the same way. He needed all of them like he needed air. 

The part of his heart that belonged to Naomi had come back weeks ago. The other that Amos had, was just now returning after all that separation. Brought back by their closeness. 

His lips lingered, catching up on all the contact they'd been missing. It wasn't like their usual ones. Sure they'd kissed desperately and passionately before, but they'd been fast, hungry kisses chasing their need to touch each other. 

Now that the desperation had faded, it seemed like neither of them wanted to pull back and be separated from each other again. That was new, and Holden wanted to take advantage of every second of it.

His arms wrapped around Amos's shoulders in a last attempt to prolong their touch and the contact was burned into his brain. Amos was here, alive, home. Not everything was lost. He could breathe again.

When they eventually pulled back, Holden's eyes took a minute to flutter open. 

“I'm right here,” Amos said softly, patting Holden's side. He took it as a sign to pull back from the embrace. They'd already been holding on to each other longer than Holden expected, anyway.

“Welcome back,” Holden breathed out, this time laughter shaking his voice instead of anxiety, almost as if he said something ridiculous and the sanest thing he'd ever uttered at the same time.

[muffindaddystyles]

Please write more of Dove and Harry ? You’d earlier written in ne where she gets lost and Harry can’t find her…. Please some more like that. I really like reading protective Harry for his kids especially daughters!

HARRY HATES A CERATIN PINK BICYCLE BUT DOVE THINKS OTHERWISE :D

Harry has never been this stingy towards things. You don’t hold a beef with stuff round you, right? You hold beefs with actual hell of people who're mighty pests in the name of human being.

But, this. Oh damn this. Four wheeler little pink bicycle, that have sparkling pom-poms around it’s handles, a cute yellow basket corked to it's front and rainbow coloured cups hanging from the back of it’s seat that cackles whenever the wheels roll.

It’s the most obnoxious transporting vehicle, Harry had seen in his whole life. He's kind of grousing in the corner that why out of trillion of toys auntie Gemma had to prove herself the best aunt in the whole world alive and chose this hideous gaggingly pink bicycle.

It just doesn’t makes sense to gift it to a three years old! And when that three years old’s a headstrong little thing, with wilfulness of her daddy and the marbles of kitten in replacement of those eyes.

“Daddy we’ll ‘ve fun, promise!” Her ‘r' vanishes into a whistle since she’s still wary onto speaking huge words, babbling her daddy’s ears off with random shite doesn’t count.

Sometimes Harry thinks; that his 50 years old mum's prisoned and captured into a dainty body of three years old -- and his time has come to get bossed around and scolded for his own good sake.

His mommy in the guise of his little dove.

“How’s tha’ missy!?” Harry squints down at her with his hands fisted on his hips. His fake scowl breaks into a fluttery smile when dove with her grubby pudgy hands pushed the bicycle around, her boot clad feet stomping against the hardwood floor, “Like this daddy!” Her chest heaved from getting tired of pushing it around in circles.

“Y'gonna put y’old man to labour?” When she sees her dad’s strictness resolving into contemplating the idea she squeals out giggles making Harry flinch and cover his ears, He’s sure he’ll end up deaf in his fifties.

Harry feels his chest warm and gooey with fond when she jumps on her tippy toes and wraps herself around Harry’s calves.

“Kay, teddy bear enough of butterin’ dada up.” Harry grunted through his nose ducking down to scoop her up in his embrace and she instantly loops her arms around his neck, her button rosy nose twitching with happiness as she patted his cheek with a toothy grin.

Harry shook his head at her brains, his eyes closed and lips thinned while he tries to announce it to her in the most dramatic way.

“Why’re you the way you’re dovie? He sighs and her response doesn’t baffles him any, “’Cos you.” She whispers into his ear as if it’s the most secretive thing in the world getting his cheek and earlobe wet with her drool.

“Yeah, cos' ‘m your inventor. My bad.”

.

That’s how they ended up here in the living room since Harry’s still hesitant and scared to let her ride the bicycle outside.

She makes sweet and loud kissy noises dangling her feet in a rhythm messing the already bombed up curls of Harry while he puts protection pads around her knees, he leaned more onto his shins adjusting the strap of her helmet and pinched her chin to make her look at him.

“Hello baby –..,” He opened his mouth to give her instructions when she cut him off with a cute whiny huff and the fold of her arms round her small body, “Daddy ‘m no baby.” Harry rolls his eyes towards the ceiling and bats his lashes.

“F'me you’re.” He tuts with a coo and took her wrist gently to help her slide down the sofa before she could possibly terrorise him more, sometimes Harry has this aching urge to laugh at her statements but it’s not right to his lil bean so he does it when he’s alone to not to hurt her feelings.

She refused any kind of guidance from him with just a single gesture of her palm (he doesn't know how she manages to behave like a 30 at her 3) and he ended up helping her wiggle her bum up the seat anyhow, “Hmm. Y'already know the deal dovlin'.” He knocks on her pink helmet which has tiny cows on it.

She bobbed her head and puckered her lips, Harry being her best telepathic communicator gets the sign and forwards his cheek for her to kiss it.

“Love y'daddy.” Her affection for her dad muffling against his stubble and in droopy voice he mimics her with bright teasing eyes, “wuveee you daddy.”

“Back to work!” Harry commanded moving towards the end of cycle and squeezed her neck tenderly before pushing her around and giggles happily when she squealed out in utter thrill.

“Weeeeeeoiiii!!” Harry joins her putting aside the fact he was very against it moments ago, but the little fun does no harm, right? He did think so.

It has always happened to him in this particular order whenever the things gets into their happy track a downfall is always written for them, just like the time when dove got sick and wouldn’t get any better taking her to hospital got crucial only for them to come back to their family being there for them her grandma and auntie Gems were their to get her recover but she got sick again.

“Alone!” She grumbles trying to move Harry’s hands away but he grips it tighter, “’M big!” She complains feet reaching for the paddles that took a swing.

“Hands on handles!” Not in a mood for her to throw a tantrum after such exhilarating moment Harry dismissed her off with a bit of frown, “Hands on handles! Hands —--,” He shouts anxiously heartbeat racing painfully against his ribs and he feels time slowing down as he watches dove losing her balance – but – puffs out in relief when she thumps against the sofa.

“Shit!” He cries out when the cycle tumbles along dove and falls on her, the poor baby didn’t even got time to process what's happening before the metal basket hits her bottom lip and her elbow hard.

Harry’s fear reeling infront of him, deafening him for a moment.

Immediately, He throws it away from over her half assed about where it lands and bunched her in his arms protectively. Cradling his sweet baby’s face in his palm and his eyes watered up at the bleeding lip and more abrasions on her elbow.

He sucks in a whimper when she tries even not to sniffle being a brave girl for her dad and goes to wipe his tears with her trembling lil hands, “It’s otay daddy.” Harry hiccups into her wrist smacking kisses upon kisses into her palm.

“’M sorry me lil dovlin'.” He sulked wiping his nose with the sleeve of his hoodie and kissed her forehead.

It physically pains him to see his Dovie hurt, it makes him sad till long hours.

Call him sensitive but with Dove he’ll never able to hold his tears back, she pulls onto his heart strings the most agonisingly, she comes before anyone else and her safety too.

“No cry.” She pushed him away and pouted leaning to peck his lips and Harry giggles when she wipes the subtle blood stain she got on his mouth with a sheepish smile, “Lets fix your boo boos honey pot.” Harry gave her a weepy smile and pet her head taking them to his room.

He’s really surprised and well very proud that she was so brave for him, in times like these Harry realises if nobody got him his daughter’s gonna be there for him always.

“’M really reallyyyy proud of you sweet pea.” After putting Dove's favourite rapunzel bandages on her gashes Harry showers her in kisses that are loud and exaggerated but full of pride and love for her, making sure to do ‘mwah!’ at each one.

.

Harry made her chicken nuggies and let her drink orange juice (even though it gives her an achy throat) she’s such a good little briber.

She’s all snuggled in his bed, her face hidden in his chest out of shyness as Anne asks about her accident with a sad pouty smile.

“You gotta be careful next time okay sweetie?” Anne told her. Harry groans when her head perked up with gleam in her eyes, “There’s no next time!” He quips making his point clear.

“Gran’ma you wan’ see?” She blubbers excitedly crawling out from under the covers but carefully Harry catches her ankle and tugs her back towards him which causes the phone to fall from her hands onto the floor.

The clumsy cutie.

“Oh Grandma, you otay????” Her curly head pops from over the mattress and the room fills with laughter at her innocence and dumbness, she's just three, you prick.

“My silly little bear.” Harry’s laugh fades into giggles while he settles her bum on his chest and cuddles her tightly into his neck despite of her whiny protests and squiggles to let her free.

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s Daughter (The Aftermath)

Tony Stark x daughter!reader

warnings:

a/n: y/n is about 17 or 18; i cried while writing this. sorry this is really long!!! pls forgive me 🥺

prompt: takes place from a3 to smffh

The Early Years (1) The Teenage Years (2) The Intense Years (3) Continued (5)

let’s start on a happy note! ahahah

so for a while, earth was calm

you, pepper, and tony got to be a family for a while

wedding planning!

of course you got to try the ben&jerry’s ice cream named after your dad: Stark Raving Hazelnuts

“it’s not fair that you got ice cream named after you and i didn’t”

“well, when you grow up to be as awesome as me, maybe you’ll get your own ice cream flavor”

developing nanotech suits together for a Bonding Experience(tm)

speechless after the first test

“dad, this is...”

“the coolest thing to ever exist?”

“yes!!”

yall ready for some shit?

the day that ebony maw invaded was pretty—what’s the word? interesting? no. well, yes, but...HORRIBLE.

it all started when you got the call from your dad

“y/n, incoming call from ‘big fat meanie’”

“god, i really have to change that. okay, JOSHIE, answer it. hey, dad? what’s up?”

“hey, kid! you know that weird ass building on bleecker street? how fast can you get here?”

“JOSH can you track FRIDAY really quick? lets see how far dad is...uh, okay, be there in five, see ya”

taking your suit for a spin and realizing how GREAT it was to be able to basically fold up your suit and put it in your back pocket

knocking on the door and it opened on its own, it was kinda cool

“is this a museum? cool.”

bruce turning around to see you after about three years and giving you an awkward smile and a wave while you stood frozen around the wizard-guys

“y/n, god, you’ve grown up!”

charging into him for a long overdue hug

“you don’t know how much i missed you. it’s been chaotic without you”

“i can...i can only imagine”

a debriefing on the situation you were about to face, and bonus! having to play the catch-up game with bruce

“just call him, dad. we need as much help as we can. steve will understand”

rushing outside to face off with some ugly-ass aliens

“oh nooo, it’s roger smith from american dad”

bruce: 👀, stephen: 👀, wong: 👀, tony: 👏👏🥰 that’s my girl

simultaneous nanosuit unveiling

“you ready for this one, pops?”

“of course! ive waited years to kick some more alien ass”

montage of you and tony getting your asses beat together (as a family <3)

peter showing up

“give me one good reason why i shouldn’t send you back to that school bus”

“because i’m good company?”

“whatever, just listen to whatever dad has to say, i forfeit my responsibilities over you”

pew pew, repulsors, pew, tiny rockets! fun! action! destroying new york again and again. good times...

until JOSHUA gave you notice that your dad was flying high

“call him. now.”

“hey! how’s it going down there?”

“dad, you know how i feel about you and space”

“i know, i know. i just...i gotta take care of this. keep pepper safe for your old man, okay?”

“i lo—l—ve y—”

“y/n? y/n?! i love you! shit!”

“we lost connection with her, sir”

trying to call peter

“call failed, y/n. should i try again?”

“i’m gonna kill them...”

walking through the rubble to find bruce, the only sensible man you know

taking him to the avengers compound asap to get to rhodey and figure out what comes next

meanwhile, tony was dealing with space and another teenager

and worrying a lot about leaving you on earth

“i mean, mr. stark, y/n’s one of the most capable people i know. she’s probably trying to fix this whole mess as we speak”

“i didn’t get to tell her i love her”

“oh...”

having a lovely meeting with thaddeus ross with rhodey, having a lovely time watching them passive-aggresively argue until your former teammates arrived

having to patiently (and professionally) wait for ross to hang up before running into them for a hug

“holy shit, you guys have no idea how bad i’ve wanted to see you. it sucks not being all together anymore”

“i know, y/n. we’ve all missed you.” -cap

“a lot” -nat added

bruce’s little entrance that was sure to bring some awkwardness

you, secretly freaking out about your dad

sam was the one that found you crying after you “stepped out” for a few minutes too long

“oh, y/n,” he was contemplating grabbing someone else to step in, but decided to sit next to you in the hallway, “i’m sorry, kiddo. i can’t promise you anything, but your dad is a fighter. a big pain in the ass. i think your odds are good”

laughing through your tears

“yeah, you’re right. thanks, sammy”

he gave you a little hug while you calmed down

getting to business, the ass-kicking kind

as the wise natasha romanoff once said to your father, you were being “uncharacteristically non-hyper verbal”

your mind did this funny thing...wandered into places it really should not go

the talk about sacrificing vision led to wakanda, where you had a swell time patrolling

“guys! we’ve got incoming. a lot of incoming”

well-deserved uncle/niece team up. who wouldve thought?

you would have nightmares about these aliens for years to come

“you get to die, and you get to die! everybody gets to die!”

“y/n, what did we talk about?” -rhodey

“using humor as a defense mechanism makes the team uncomfortable...”

covering the girls 😌 because we gotta have those all-girl teamups, uh-huh?

some more blasting

thor made his comeback and you just could not miss it

“hi, thor!”

you landed next to him and your helmet receded

“well, hello, miss y/n! good to see you again! my, you got taller...oh! meet my friends: rabbit and tree”

having a “what the actual fuck” moment upon seeing thanos for the first time

and flying at him from behind with a massive nanotech blade ready to kill this purple bastard

but he grabbed your arm and flung you into the dirt, that was gonna leave a mark

“i just had to make a suit when i was ten...no one stopped me, huh? i couldn’t be elon’s kid, he was a nice guy”

watching thanos snap his fingers and looking around to see dust floating through the air and thanos retreat

“rhodey? uncle rhodey?!”

“i’m right here, kid, don’t worry”

he grabbed your hand while you were dusting

“tell my dad i love him, promise?”

fading away and leaving rhodey with your last words

he was mad before anything else

all he could think about was a promise your dad made him take years back

“rhodey, you keep my daughter safe no matter what, promise?”

the avengers recooperating at the compound, waiting to figure out whether any of the space-crew survived

they had to let pepper know that you didn’t make it, she was a mess upon hearing that news

tony finally making his way back to earth

and stumbling out of that ship

“where’s y/n? where is she?!”

“tony, tony, calm down”

“dont tell me to calm down! where is my daughter?!”

“she made me promise to tell you thay she loves you”

tony knew the answer by now, he lost his mind over your death

it didn’t feel right not having you by his side, for the past 18 years you’ve been with him

after a long period of recovery, tony and pepper moved on, got married, built a home, had a new daughter...

tony made sure there was a spare room for you

he put all the things you left behind in it

there were so many photos of you in the house

and he’d show your sister, morgan, all of them. he wanted morgan to know her sister

“that’s y/n when she built her first robot. it snuck up on me a few times. it went ‘boo!’”

morgan loved the stories about you, but she didn’t understand why she couldn’t see you

“when do i get to meet her?”

“uh...maybe someday, sweetie”

after being unbothered for almost 5 years, the remaining avengers came back with a plan that was so tempting, he just wanted his little girl back

cracking under pressure and telling pepper that he couldn’t ignore this mission because it was his chance to get you back

“get her back, tony”

“you think so?”

“i miss her, too.”

and so it began, he made it his mission to get you back

peeking at the wallet picture of you on his shoulders when you were so little

tony travelling to 2012; loki’s invasion

and there you were, the sassy genius 12 year old that he missed so much

“we’ve got this, tony, we’ll bring her home” -scott

and then things went badly and also 2012 tony went into cardiac arrest and 2012 y/n dove onto the floor to tend to him

“dad? give us some room, would you?!”

2023 tony smiling at how much he missed you worrying about him and how reckless he was

but also...the mission kinda went bad so that sucked

push it a bit farther back and now tony was with grandpa stark! asking how to be a dad and all that!

he could barely stand still waiting for you to come back to him, god he missed you more than he thought

and after a bit of hard work, it was time to snap

just like that, you were back in wakanda, puzzled by the gap in time before one of dr. strange’s portals opened in front of you

and then you were in the ruins of the avengers compound

“JOSHUA, can you locate my dad?”

“i think you’ll be able to see him”

“wow, i cant believe i programmed your cocky artificial ass”

“i think you can”

seeing your dad flying high and patching into the comms

“miss me, old man?”

and then he hit the gas to get to you and when this man hugged you, you almost couldn’t let go

“i’m so sorry, y/n. god, i’m sorry. these last five years...i was so lost without you”

“it’s okay, dad, i’m here now”

getting shot at during your reunion

“son of a bitch...we’re having a family moment here, asshole!”

yes, im gonna say it again. of course i am! and.........father/daugher team-up

the last one

“peter, is that you? you asshole! i cant believe you went to space without me!”

“missed you too!”

rhodey!! cant forget about uncle rhodey!!

“you gave my dad the message, right?”

“it was your dying wish, of course i did!”

“great. don’t forget i love you, too, rhodey!”

“couldn’t let me forget it”

lest we forget that pepper joined the fight?

plot twist: (step)mother/daughter team-up

mother/father/daugher team up!!!! ultimate stark machine!!!!!!!

and then you left him alone for 5 minutes and he’s got the infinity stones and you know it’s the last time you’re going to see him and you cant decide what your next move is and you’re just frozen and you cant catch your breath and he snaps and your heart plummets

you have to rush to his side, the last time you can sit beside his tired body and let him know that its going to be okay

“hey dad, it’s okay, we’re gonna be fine. thank you for everything”

peter grabbing your hand as you both sobbed next to your dad, feeling robbed of your time with him

pepper brought you home where she told you all about the five years you missed

both of you just cried harder than you’ve ever cried before

“so i have a sister?”

morgan was so happy to meet you, she couldn’t contain herself, practically latched onto you

and she didn’t fully understand what happened to tony

you saw your new room for the first time and didn’t leave it for a while, occasionally pepper or morgan would pop in

morgan actually crawled into bed with you a few times

the funeral was one of the worst days of your life

the remnants of your young life pulled back together for one day

then you hid back in your room before you heard a knock

“who is it?”

“it’s happy”

“come in”

“hey, kiddo. me and morgan are gonna get some cheeseburgers, you wanna come?”

she really was a stark

after a long hibernation, you started to get back into the groove of your old life

but the press was brutal and harsh, you were bombarded with questions regarding your dad

it took everything not to explode on camera

you stayed in contact with the rest of the avengers, mourning your dead, keeping the support system, staying a family

it was all you could get...for now

[bonesofapoet]

Lightning Fields

[jason todd (red hood) x you]

author’s note: titans s2, many issues of red hood + the outlaws later and here i am. trading marvel vigilantes for dc vigilantes. this is really where im at during this whole pandemic thing, huh. blood, swearing. i dont go here usually so be gentle pls

word count: 810

ao3: here

Gotham City was abandoned by the gods.

City streets were paved by bone. Skyscrapers reached for the clouds, the moon, the sun; a meadow of cold, crude knives that glinted bulletproof glass and reinforced steel. Sometimes, they reflected the sunset of a city that lived in a deep haze of contentment, the thought of hope somewhere in the distant future. Sometimes, they mirrored the sunrise of vermilion clouds that had cried blood under the moonlight, or a hailstorm made of body parts carelessly scattered in the streets like flower petals stolen by the wind.

But your favorite days . . . those were the calm ones before a storm. There always seemed to be a few minutes, weeks, months – when you were lucky – when things were less apocalyptic than usual, when ignorance was bliss before you realized that something was coming, and it would shake the skyline made of blades to their foundations. When the sky would blossom the colors of fire in the witching hour and bring the heat of the Underworld with it.

It was easy to forget your city was forged from fear and war and greed when the dream of quiet became reality in those stolen pockets of time. But ever since Jason Todd came into your life? It was hard to remember what that calm – that lie – felt like.

Memories, oh how they cut like knives.

Just like the torturous rain raging against the night – real rain, so far – that cut through the city like ice. It rode waves of wind that howled as if it were a living thing, as if it were something that raged and thrashed and begged to be uncaged. To be free.

The whistling eased itself through the windows of your apartment, streaked with raindrops cascading down the glass. The damp blurred the flickering, half-dead neon lights of a nightlife still trying to be lively. Washed out blues and faded golds illuminated a familiar silhouette moving up the fire escape with ease. Uneven, but unfaltering all the same.

You unlocked the window and gave Red Hood a steady arm to prevent his face becoming acquainted with the hardwood again.

“Jesus Christ.”

“Not even close, beautiful,” Jason said, limping to place his helmet on a nearby table. Rainwater slid off his tactical gear onto the floor. “Just me.” His lips quirked into a smirk, twisted into a grimace after running a gloved hand through tousled helmet hair. When he pulled it away, his white streaks shone pink in the lamplight.

A quiet laugh, a quick once over, and you’d gone to retrieve the first aid kit you’d learned to keep close, keep stocked, keep near the liquor.

You always wondered if you should be more worried than you were, about Jason going out as Red Hood. Once the wave of expected emotions passed when you first found out . . . you just accepted this as part of him. Jason Todd, secret romantic, Red Hood, resident smartass.

“Where does it hurt, Jay?”

He winced once the last of his suit hit the tile of your kitchen floor, a muted thud over the pouring rain. “Everywhere.”

“Occupational hazard, right?” you asked with a rare smirk and a twinkle in your eye. Your voice had changed – gone a little soft, a little pang threaded through your words. You placed the first aid kit on the kitchen counter, began sifting through it. A flash of lighting lit up the room, the fresh slash in his thigh glowing brilliant, crimson, still bleeding. He followed your line of sight when you asked, “Is that the worst of it?”

I’ve had worse, he said. Gracefully hauled himself onto the counter next to you, hissed curses through his teeth. The light from the stove-top gave you adequate light to work – you always hit the switch once dusk settled in, left it on for him until morning. His collection of scars was about to welcome a new addition. “Fuck this.”

He had a thing about kissing you, gentle and sweet when the last of the blood met the drain, when the bloody waste made a new home in the trash. Maybe it was a comfort thing, maybe it was a reassurance thing, but either way you never objected. Your heart always sang when he pulled you close to quote Shakespeare against your lips, blue eyes wide and clouded with all the things he never used to have.

You always remembered Gotham was forged in blood and fear and greed with Jason in your life, but he never failed to remind you why you stayed in a city crafted from scarred hands and demons wearing human skins. He always had to look away when you told him of the hope he handed you for a future that didn’t royally fucking suck.

Maybe the gods hadn’t left after all. Maybe they just whispered instead of screamed.

[vanchlo]

The Partner / Chapter Eight, "The In Between"

Word Count: 6.1k words /  Story Masterlist /  Read The Assistant /  Read on Wattpad / Song: Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns N' Roses (click to listen)

P.S. - Next chapter will be coming on March 23rd, but I only know this because I've written it already :P Otherwise, I know that they are pretty random which I'm sorry for. Thanks for reading!

"People live with things they don't talk about hidden in their heart."

- Un-Go アンゴ

There, I stop, because I realize what I’ve done. I hear it in my words and in her weeping, the step that I shouldn’t have taken. Without knowing, I spoke in present tense, and knew that I’d only made it worse. It reminded us of what we couldn’t have- what we wouldn’t have. What should’ve been. Should be.

Her head shook from side to side, although belatedly. Her cries had quieted at moments too, that is until her head dove back against my chest, and they returned. I held her there, pressing my lips to her head and closing my eyes, being sucked back into my thoughts. The should’ve-beens made a regretful comeback, and as each one paid a reminder to me, so did a tear down each cheek.

Two Weeks Earlier

Despite the sunshine pouring in through the window, the sight of the glittering snow outside my window chilled me to the bone. Wrapping my arms around myself didn’t help as the cold seeped in through my cardigan.

“Cold, again?” somebody chuckles from over my shoulder.

“Yeah. God, can you turn up the heat in this place, or what?”

“I dunno, you’ve already had me turn it up three degrees t’day. Not sure my Dad brain will allow me anymo.’ Yer gonna make me heatin’ bill skyrocket here soon.”

“Harry,” I giggle, looking behind me to catch his face just in time for him to surprise me with a hug from behind. “Come on, the baby and I are cold. You better soon, or else I’m buying a space heater for my office.”

“Yer gonna be usin’ that kid as an excuse fer ev’rythin.’ Arentcha, Becks?” a shiver runs down my spine at the feeling of his beard against my temple, but it doesn’t compare to his freezing hands on my stomach.

“Yes, because are you trying to make me turn into an icicle with those hands of yours?”

“What, I jus’ got back from lunch. ‘s winter outside, don’t y’know?”

“Wow, I had no idea,” I reply snarkily with a nod to my window before us.

“Watch it, sassy pants, or ‘ll keep those churros fer myself.”

The scoff is already curling my lips when I turn around, “You wouldn’t dare.”

“I would,” Harry contests, raising a brow at me until it all dissolves into his wheezy laughter. “Hey, put that pout away, sweetheart.”

“Don’t try to butter me up, mister,” I mutter, turning away from his waiting arms. His tongue clicks in response but I ignore it, starting for my phone that rings.

“Becks, I was only kiddin.’ Y’know I wouldn’t take away yer churros, love, they’re yer favourite,” he begins, but for some reason that really annoyed me. It doesn’t help when he takes hold of my hand, rooting me to the spot. “Hey, Crabby Pants, yer phone can wait. They can leave a message, but I wanna talk t’ my fiance.”

“What?” I mumble, facing him at last. The corners of his lips lift, and his contagious happiness is hard to resist.

“‘m sorry fer teasin’ you. ‘ll see ‘bout turnin’ tha heat up on this side, and yer churros are waitin’ in me office. ‘d never deprive my baby’s mum o’ her favourite food. No, not my wifey.”

“You better not,” I sigh, giggling against his lips when they press to mine. The gold flecks in his sage-colored irises catch the light when he looks down at me. Sometimes, I still wonder how the sunshine on his face could all be for me.

“I won’t,” Harry hums, reminding me of his own little ray of sunshine when his hand comes to my belly. “Ya should be careful with those churros, I think yer startin’ t’ show.”

“Am not.”

“Are to. Ya had a li’l bump this mornin’ when we were gettin’ ready. I saw it in tha mirror in tha bathroom when you were changin.’ Cutest thing I ever did see,” he coos, painting my face in thick strokes with that radiant smile of his. “Boobs are gettin’ bigger and bum too. ‘m likin’ this whole pregnant thing on you mo’ and mo’ ev’ry day.”

“Of course, you are,” I whisper, feeling the smile drain from my lips when the light catches it. The doctor said they’d fade with time, but three months on and the pink lines still won’t let me forget that nightmare I can’t escape. I saw them every day, in the shower with him or when I watched him get dressed beside me in the bathroom. The mornings when I woke up before him and dragged a finger across his tattoos. He was lucky that none of them were ruined by the numerous stitches, but they got by unscathed. I just wish I could say the same for everything else, for me.

“Hey, where’d that pretty smile go?” Blinking, I focus my gaze back on the dimples that fall into his cheeks.

“Your scars, they’re still . . ,” my train of thought disappears, because it’s nothing that I haven’t said before.

“Still there. I know, they jus’ don’t go away, buggie.” Frowning, his words sink in, but for maybe the fifth time. With a huff, I distract myself with the cream tie dotted with blush flowers that he picked out today. “Hey you, dontchu roll those pretty eyes at me.”

“I’m not.”

“But you are. ‘s it ‘cos somebody hasn’t had her churros yet this week?” his whiny voice grazes my ears from above. It’s difficult, but I control my lips and busy myself with picking a loose thread from his tie. “Becks, I see that smile,” he continues in a mocking tone, and soon I’m giggling against his neck as his nose drags along mine.

“‘Kay, baby, ‘m gonna go and grab yer lunch befo’ my meetin’.”

I whisper a ‘thanks’ against his lips before watching him disappear into the hallway. It’s not often, but my office is quiet, absent of the constant sounds of keys clicking, phones ringing, and a certain somebody being quite good at distracting me. Crossing the room, I plop down in front of my computer. The new messages showing on the side jump at my attention, but what grabs it is the picture frame beside it. With a smile that makes my cheeks ache, I pick it up to admire for the tenth time today. I’m sure that I’ll hit one hundred here, sooner or later.

“Think I like yer frame better, y’know.”

“Really?” I respond, lifting my eyes to Harry who sets down a greasy taco bag on my desk, a protein shake on the side. Don’t even get me started on how he’s already the nagging Dad.

“Ya, like the color and phrase better,” he notes, making me squirm from his hand on my side. It’s forgotten when it travels over to my belly, the exact place I hadn’t realized I’d laid a hand on too. “Can hardly believe it’ll be four months in two and a half weeks. We’re almost halfway there.”

“I know, it’s crazy to me.”

His mumbled agreement comes as I trace the lines of our baby’s profile over the frame’s glass partition. The same frame had sat on my desk for a while now, often updated with the newest sonogram picture after our latest ultrasound. One similar to it sat on Harry’s desk too, both a present from him. Several more occupied our fridge, phone lockscreens at times, and I’m sure in similar forms at both of our parents’ houses.

“Me too. I can’t wait tho,’ t’ be a dad.”

I didn’t think that my smile could get any bigger, but when I tip my head up to look at Harry hovering there, somehow it does.

“You’re going to be the best daddy.”

Sunshine fills every inch of his face, especially in the dimples caved into his cheeks. I hope our baby has those. Please.

“Why thank you. I feel rather lucky my kids get t’ have such a wonderful mummy too,” he notes with a quick wink, sponging a kiss to my forehead warmly. A few moments pass of admiring the picture until his voice interrupts my thoughts again. “Yer sure ‘s okay ‘m helpin’ My’ with that case in Bedford comin’ up?”

“Yeah, I don’t mind.”

“Won’t miss me too much, will you?”

Now, I don’t even bother to hide the way that I roll my eyes at him, accompanied by a sound of disgust. His nose wrinkles before his face creases in annoyance.

“Don’t ask stupid questions,” I almost retort with a joking tone, until I melt at the way he rubs his nose against mine in what some call a kiss. “We’ve been over this, Harry, it’s fine. Skye can stay the night with me if I get lonely, or something. I know an opportunity to have another win against your arch enemy can’t be passed up.”

This time, I really stumped him. It brings a song to my lips, because it’s not often that I get to surprise him anymore. Sometimes, I miss those days, but I’d never go back to them. No, we didn’t have the sweet honeymoon period of first meeting, it was the total opposite. I’d never give up where we’d finally gotten to now, engaged and expecting a baby in a little over five months.

“He ‘s not.”

Still, the crease between his eyebrows remains and I only want to laugh more, “Is too. Malakai Watters is your arch enemy, Harry. You’ve been griping about him since I first met you, no excuse about it is going to work on me.”

Shaking his head, I already hear the argument coming my way, “Watters ‘sn’t my enemy, you silly one, he never has been. ‘ve never had any enemies.”

“Lies and more lies. I’m pretty sure we were enemies once, but you’ll excuse that one too.”

“Eh, I think I can agree with that one,” his face has relaxed and so has his shoulders that rise and fall softly. The green in his eyes lights up when he cracks a laugh from above, despite still being upside down for me. At last, he spins me around and pins me with his hands planted on my armrests. He always has to hog those, at movies and in the car. “Enemies? I dunno ‘bout that word, but you drove me bloody mad in the beginnin,’ so much so ‘s a wonder ‘m marryin’ you now. Wouldn’t have believed anybody if they’d told me back then you’d become my bride. Snotty li’l Holte, me personal assistant.”

“Harry!” comes my exclamation, and like always, followed by his innocent giggle. Innocent, my ass.

“Hey, you were jus’ as guilty, Becks, don’t go denyin’ it. You did everythin’ in the fuckin’ book t’ push me buttons.”

I’m laughing before him and unsure of how to stop until grabbing hold of his neck to press my lips to his. His laugh buzzes against my mouth, cinnamon sugar sticking to his lips. That little churro thief. The gold in his eyes is sparkling when we separate, my cheeks aching once more.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” my question comes in a mumbled sigh, eyes darting between his reddening cheeks and glistening eyes. Wait, what? “Harry, why are you crying?”

“Have I ever told you how lucky I am t’ have you tho’?” Giggling for a reason I don’t know why, I lose myself in those neverending greens for the hundredth time.

“Perhaps, but another time wouldn’t hurt my ego.”

A wry titter escapes his lips for just a second when the first tear glides down his cheek. One that I immediately catch with the pad of my thumb.

“No, I mean it. We fought like cats and dogs when we first met, and we hated each other,” he goes on in a voice leaking of that molasses once more. Mine begin to part until his terse shaking head tells me ‘no.’ “Hush you, don’t you lie either. I know we hated each other’s guts nearly, but outta nowhere, you became my best friend. A few hundred hiccups between then and now, and look at us, gettin’ hitched and havin’ a baby.”

“Yeah,” is all that I can come up with. More like the only words I can shove past my lips. Ones that already tremble from the emotion spilled from his sunshine eyes. “Thank you for not giving up on me.”

“Reckon I have you t’ thank that fer, and loads mo,’” he corrects with wrinkled brows and a rub to my belly. Memories swim behind my eyelids as I kiss him back, hoping that if this is a dream after all, that I never have to wake up.

/

I wasn’t sure where I was anymore. No, this place I had never seen before with my two eyes, visited in my dreams, or travelled to in a book. Looking around me for some clue as to where I was, all I could see was golden trees, robin blue cloudless skies, and sunlight pouring in from every corner. It shined on my face and filled me with a warmth, one that I felt underneath my bare feet. When I peered down, my hands habitually went to my stomach but I found that it was completely flat once more.

A question filled my head instantly at the discovery, one that joined the many others of where I was, and everything that was around me. It all fell away instantly when something else took place inside of my head. I could never describe it to anybody or put my finger on it, but that feeling of mine told me that I wasn’t alone. Still with my hands on my stomach, I looked back up and found a young girl walking towards me. Sunlight shone down on her, following her as she walked through the kneehigh grass dotted with flowers. For a reason I couldn’t name, I didn’t want to look away from her in case she disappeared, but my attention was drawn to the beautiful field we were suddenly in. Wild flowers tickled my legs, reaching up to the lilac dress that fell to my knees and hugged the curve of my shoulders.

At the sound of rustling nearby, I glanced upwards once more to find her stopping a few feet away from me. There it was still, that feeling of mine, and as I stood there looking at her beaming up at me, I felt the way it filled my insides. There was something about her that I couldn’t figure out, but I feel like I should know who she is. I tried as I looked into her olive green eyes that sparkled with the secret she knew and I didn’t. A divot fell into one of her freckled cheeks as they rounded from her spreading lips. It sat there on the tip of my tongue as my feet led me forward, as if she was calling me to her. I didn’t know why or how I could, but I felt as if I knew her. This is what brought my hand forth to cradle her cheek, and thumb at the dark ringlets tickling her heart-shaped face.

She couldn’t be more than seven, a few years older than Harper. The second the thought appeared inside of my head, I wanted to shake it, knowing it couldn’t be. But as she stepped forward to wrap her arms around me, I felt the wetness descend onto my cheeks as she surrounded me with her sunshine like warmth. It felt as if I was hugging my younger self, because she was a spitting image of what I looked like, save for those green eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered against my dress where she nuzzled her head into my chest.

“What are you sorry for?” I asked in return, rubbing circles into her shoulder where the sleeves of her green dress ended, the same shade as her eyes. She didn’t offer an answer, only squeezed me tight before pulling away to look at me with furrowed brows. “What’s wrong?” the words spilled out when a tear raced down her cheek, her smile disappearing.

Again, she didn’t answer me, only hastily encircling me once again with her arms. Once more, questions danced around in my head, chasing answers that wouldn’t come, subconsciously or from this little girl. Somehow, I knew her and felt close to her, but I didn’t know how or why. She was beautiful and so sweet, I already knew but I wasn’t sure how.

An ache filled my chest when the next words left her lips, ones that I couldn’t begin to understand. “I’ll miss you.”

Instead of uttering another question that would go unanswered, I held onto her tighter, trying to make out what she had called me at the end there. It was a name, but not one I could remember now. The songs of birds flying overhead surrounded us, as did the trickling of a nearby stream, and a hummed song that I knew from somewhere. One he would always sing to me, but for some reason, I couldn’t recall who he was now.

“Who are-,” my long awaited question came, but it was torn away when I looked down to find my arms empty. In a confused blink, the grassy field decorated with flowers and sunshine was gone.

At my feet, sat cold tiling and the birds were no more. So was the sunshine and warmth. Shivering, I wrapped my arms around me, feeling very cold all of a sudden. Belatedly, I looked up and at my surroundings, wondering where I was now. A dimmed, empty room stared back at me, quiet from the sounds of the world until one broke through the silence.

A cry pierced my ears, and made me spin around. A door stood across the room to my right, where the sound came from. Without knowing what I was doing, my bare feet padded across the chilly floor, and I twisted the handle. Another room awaited me, but this one wasn’t empty. Nor was I alone.

Rows upon rows of hospital cribs stared back at me, little bundles of blankets sat in each one. Babies. They all were quiet except for one. My feet led me in that direction without me knowing it, because there it was again. My feeling. It guided me towards the sound, one that grabbed hold onto something deep inside of me. I knew what it was and what I heard, it was clear as day.

A smile shot up into my cheeks when I stopped at the cradle that held a squirming, crying baby. Its pink face was pinched from wailing, a blush colored hat covering its head as a striped blanket hid its body. But as I reached out to pick them up, I blinked and they were gone. Stepping back, I stumbled and righted myself. Where did they go?

Where’s my baby?

Tears clung to my eyelashes, blurring my vision as I stared at the empty crib. A divot in the miniature mattress stared back at me, and so did something else. My bottom lip wobbled as a briny tear ran over it, but it came to shake harder when I read the name card stuck to the inside of the rolling crib.

Annie S.

Before me, my hand trembled as I reached into the crib, feeling the corner of the card before-

“Becks, lovebug,” a voice murmurs, and the image is ripped away from me. With a jolt, I feel the warmth of a hand on my shoulder, rubbing a line down my back. I’m glad to have been woken up by him and torn away from that nightmare, but at the same time, I’m not. I wanted answers. “It’s time to get up and have a shower, my love. It’s six-thirty, you have to wake up soon so we can go to work.”

Gulping, nothing will go down as a ball sits in my throat. Peeling my eyes open, Harry and I’s familiar bedroom materializes before me. With a ragged breath that races to fill my lungs, a wetness paints my cheeks.

“You can sleep for a little longer, bug, but I’m going to hop in the shower, if you want to join me,” his whisper comes against my temple. Hastily, I turn to bury my face into the pillow, hiding my wet eyes. “Okay then, but you have to be up in half an hour,” Harry finishes, pressing his warm lips to the top of my head.

As I listen to the sound of his parting footsteps, I grasp onto the covers tightly. Only when I hear the spray of the shower and him close the door behind him, do I let loose my sobs into the pillow. I lie there, wondering, why the tears and what is that dream supposed to mean? I’d had weird pregnancy dreams before, vivid ones even, but nothing like that. No, never.

Who was that little girl, and how did I know her? And where had my baby gone, I think to myself as I rub at my belly, worrying away.

/

“Ree, what do you mean you’re not getting married?”

Rolling my eyes could not begin to convey the thoughts racing through my head, born out of her exclamation.

“Of course, I’m getting married, Skye. What, are you daft? That’s not

what I’ve said at all, if you’d been listening,” I tut with an unruly shake of my head, snapping the cap back onto the honey bottle. “You asked when the wedding was, and all I’ve said is that Harry and I don’t know with everything that’s changed. We had a date for August but cancelled it after we found out about the baby.”

The sofa sighs when I plop onto it, leaving my steaming mug on the table. My best friend of over twenty years tsks beside me, biting off the side of a cookie. Her faux disappointment is all but lost on her when her eyes brighten, cookie crumbs soon falling from her hands.

“Speaking of, let’s see that bump. It’s been awhile, hasn’t it?” she nearly squeals, reaching forward to lift my shirt.

“Goodness, Skye, assault me much? All you’ve got to do is ask, don’t need to be undressing me now,” my response comes in a giggle, one that soon falls away when her hands fly to her mouth. My lips soon slide into a smirk that I find hard to control at the sight of her, after lifting my shirt the rest of the way.

“Bloody hell, you do have a bump, and it’s getting big! Fuck, I wish my boobs were as big as yours. Totally unfair, that is.”

“I dunno what you and Harry are on about, I hardly see anything,” I remark with a shrug, the smile staying when her hand comes to rub my pale stomach. “I just look bloated.”

“Ree, come on,” she scoffs with a tilt to her lips that to my surprise, remains quiet as she stares at my stomach. “It’s more than just bloated, you idiot. You’re pregnant, you’re having a baby. Sure, it takes a while to show, but you’re starting to!”

“Hardly,” I chuckle, dropping my blouse once she leaned back against the pillow with her cup of joe. “It’s weird being at this awkward stage where I’m pregnant but I don’t look pregnant.”

“I can imagine, but hold on. Take a few steps back to the ‘not knowing when you’re getting married’ part. Do you and Harry really not know?”

“How are we supposed to?” it comes out in a laugh, not as I’d expected at all. “I’m due to pop this baby out around the same time we had it planned for in the first place.”

“So,” she begins whilst blowing on her coffee. Something clicks inside of me when that happens, along with the raise of her brow. “You’re just happy with waiting, and not knowing when it’ll be? That doesn’t sound like you, Ree.”

“Thanks for being depressing, Skye,” I try to say with a laugh, but it doesn’t go over well, because I can’t find one. No, if there was anybody else in the world who could read me like a book, it’s my first grade best friend. “No, I’m not really happy about waiting, but I’m excited about this baby, and what is being married besides vowing to date each other forever? No, it actually is okay. We’ll figure it out. Maybe we’ll randomly go to the courthouse one day- don’t worry, you’ll be invited, if we do. Or just wait and make it grand- you know, once I lose the baby weight or something.” I sip from my peppermint tea with a hand on my bump, knowing that I couldn’t be happier, but still wondering how we’re going to do all of this.

“Don’t be so sad, Ree, my god!” she exclaims with a playful swat to my shoulder. I laugh along with her, but as I stare into my tea, it doesn’t remain for long. She’d hit a nerve and with a cautious glance her way, I can tell that she knows it. “How’s about the house? The six bedroom and three bath with a grand yard, covered porch, marble kitchen island, fireplace, walk in closet, and dare I say, a pool?” she blabbers on in a posh sounding voice, making me laugh this time.

“Good, it’s um, good. I dunno what else to say, Harry���s the one who talks to the contractors and all,” I offer with an outstretched hand, unsure of my words.

“Come on, Ree, you’re building a bloody house!” her boisterous laugh comes. Her eagerness shows, as well as the three glasses of wine she had with dinner. I’m not sure the one cup of black coffee is going to help her much.

“I know, but I dunno- I more so just go over the plans with Harry and approve them, I guess?” I say with a large shrug of my shoulders. “There’s not much to update you on since you last asked about it. It’s a house, they take forever to build. I won’t get to have much fun with it until it comes to like, picking wallpaper and tiling.”

“Well, will it be ready by the time the baby comes?”

“I doubt it, but Harry keeps insisting it will,” I muse aloud, watching the ripples in the brown liquid when I blow on it, feeling the steam grace my cheeks. “It’s fine if it isn’t.”

“Your response to everything is ‘it’s fine,’ since when are you like that?”

Pressing my lips together, I lift my head to meet her curious stare, a tired one after that wine, “I’m just going with the flow, Skye. I’ve found it’s better than being upset about plans being changed. I wanted to get married, then build a house, and then have a baby. But it’s okay, we get to do the baby part first. It’s like dessert before dinner, and I can do that. It’ll be fun,” I tell her, feeling the truth in them as well as the grimy half-lie.

Should I tell her or will she brush it off, as if it’s nothing? It wasn’t nothing to me though, that dream this morning, it’s bothered me all day. I’m not sure how much longer I can go without telling somebody about it, but it scares me to have to recount it, and being afraid they’ll tell me it means nothing. Because that’s the last thing it meant to me, and something inside of me keeps telling me that I shouldn’t just forget about it.

“If you insist,” she sighs, clucking her tongue. “Are you two still meeting Asher and I tomorrow night?”

“Y-Yeah,” I answer shakily, too deep in my thoughts to notice the way the tea burns my lips. What if I can’t figure out what that dream meant, will it be okay?

/

A cacophony of sounds pelted my ears the second we walked in the door. Apparently we weren’t the only ones with the good idea of trying the new pizza and arcade place on a Friday night.

“Well, this place ‘s neat, innit?” Harry comments as we approach a table tucked into the corner, between skeeball and some flappy bird looking game.

“Yeah, it looks great. Loads of games,” Asher comments when we pull out chairs to sit across from them. “No, don’t sit down. We just ordered the pizzas, but they may take a little while. Let’s go and get started on the games. I saw Pacman and a Supermario game when we came in,” he continues emphatically, already getting up from his seat. Skye laughs beside him, joiningAsher as I let go of the chair.

We pass parents and children, teenage couples, and a few others like us on our way to the front. There, we find the machine that’s replaced the coin contraption back from our day. No, you no longer had to feed coins into each game and have paper tickets spit out at you.

“’s kind o’ sad, dontchu think? ’s all digital now. Ya don’t have tha fun anymo’ o’ counting tha tickets and yer coins,” Harry muses while sliding a card from his wallet.

“It’s easier to keep track of.”

“I suppose, but that’s no fun. It made me day findin’ a lost coin or line o’ tickets on the ground,” he hums with a shake of his head, pressing buttons on the touch screen. “How much should we do, you think?”

“I dunno,” I answer, forgetting the screen showing different dollar amounts and a description of how some games cost more than others. Instead, my attention is pulled to behind me. I’d seen her on our way in, but now, I look again at the mum sitting in the corner feeding her young baby, watching on as the dad holds up their son to shoot basketballs.

“Hey, ’m talking t’ you,” somebody says, nudging my shoulder with theirs. Turning back around, I find Harry’s green eyes waiting for me with furrowed brows. “Right now, we’re kids again with their friends, playin’ arcade games on a Friday night and stuffin’ themselves with pizza. We still have a ways t’ go on that, five and a half months actually,” he notes softly, nodding his head towards the mum.

“Yeah,” I murmur sheepishly, crossing my arms and looking back at the screen.

“I didn’t mean it rudely, Becks.”

“I know. A tenner should be fine, let’s just do that. We can always load more money onto it,” I insist, lifting my feet and clicking them together, like I’m Dorothy and wanting to go back home. Because, well, I do. It’s loud and my stomach hurts, I’m not sure from hunger or nausea, or both.

I’d been excited when we’d agreed to come here with Skye and Asher earlier this week, but no matter how much I tried to push it away, that stupid dream couldn’t be forgotten. Especially since I had it again last night, and I dreaded going to sleep tonight, in fear I’d see that mysterious little girl and that empty crib where our baby should be. It-

“Becks?”

“Wh-What?” I stammer, looking up quickly to find Harry waving a plastic card at me.

“We’re all set,” he announces, stepping to the side so Asher and Skye can buy theirs next. I follow him, moving out of the way for a little boy and his big brother to come through, rushing to the bathroom behind us. “You okay? Not feelin’ sick or anythin’, are you?”

I think about shaking my head, but when I look back into his eyes, I get The Look. The Harry Styles Look. The Look of all Looks. No, it wasn’t the killer stare I’d first familiarized him with when I sat at that desk at the end of his hall. This one came not soon after though, and it’d stuck. Ever since then he could read all of my tells, including how uncomfortable I am right now, or maybe just how I’m overthinking. He knew that look too.

“I’m probably just hungry.”

The curl hanging over his forehead is knocked loose when his head bobs up and down, but I reach a hand up to set it back in place.

“Don’t worry, we’ll get some pizza in that belly soon. I know how you’ve been craving it,” his dimples once again hide under his beard, one that had been growing thicker as the winter carried on. I feel its length when his lips sponge a kiss to my temple, his hand caressing my bump only a few seconds later.

“Thanks.”

After a few games, I found myself getting into it more and laughing at Harry’s competitiveness. I’d learned a long time ago that laughing about it was better than getting mad about it, and also that going to play games with Skye turned out better, watching the boys play from the sidelines.

“You doing okay, Boops? Tummy not good or are you tired?” the question came as I watched the little screen rack up my tickets from a Scooby Doo version of Whack a Mole. Instead of a red button marked with ‘25 cents’ a touchscreen with a card swipe sat there.

“Both, but what’s new?” I murmur, following her past Ring Toss, some car racing game that doesn’t give you tickets, and Space Invaders. At last, we found Air Hockey open and decided to have a go.

“So, what is it really?”

“What’s what?” I replied with an air of faux stupidity, pretending to focus hard on hitting the puck back her way.

“Why have you been acting weird lately? Just because I had some wine last night doesn’t mean I didn’t notice it.”

“Oh, that. You noticed,” I comment, avoiding her eyes even when she gets the puck past me. Bending over, I pluck it from the holder and hit it over to her, following it.

“Yeah, I noticed that. Whatever it is, which by the way, what is it again that’s bothering you?”

“You don’t sound very smart when you’re drinking. You do know that, don’t you?” a laugh is close to my lips, but it disappears almost as soon as it’s thought. As if to spite me, she picks up the glass of the pink hard cider she’d ordered. Sometimes, I missed drinking and how it made nights like these all the more fun.

“Thanks for pointing out the obvious,” she sighs, tsking when I make the puck into her goal. Groaning, she slams the rest of the cider before dropping the puck onto the glow in the dark table. “But really, what is it?”

“God, are you and Harry stubborn,” I remark with a near groan, taking her cue when she hits it hard my way, deciding to do the same. “Fine . . so I had this dream the other night, like a nightmare almost and . . . ,” I carry on, detailing the entire thing to her, almost hoping that maybe if she says it’s nothing, her inebriated mind won’t remember it.

“Good game, glad you could get some rage out on that one, seeing as how you nearly gave me a bruise that one time.”

“Sorry,” the word drops carelessly as we walk away from the table and through a loud pack of kids. She makes a comment about never wanting kids, only to turn to me regretfully with the same word on her face. “It’s okay. I’m probably worrying for nothing.”

“I know you and don’t want to say that myself, but it was just a dream, Ree. Aren’t they like, manifestations of your thoughts and all that jazz? Maybe you saw the little girl once or see yourself in her, and want to protect her. It’s the mother in you coming out, I’m sure. I wouldn’t worry too much about it and what it means, it’s just a dream.”

“Yeah, it’s just a dream,” I agree aloud, more grateful than ever for Harry and Asher stepping in our path, telling us the pizzas had arrived. Sitting down beside Harry and arguing with him about Hawaiian pizza whilst our hands sat on the other’s thigh, this had once been a dream to me too.

But the one about the empty crib and the mysterious girl, no that was almost a nightmare, and I’d had enough of those.

[haledamage]

The Officer’s Ball

It’s finally finished! at just over 9000 words, this ended up waaaay longer than I expected it to. thanks again to @queen-scribbles, both for the encouragement and for all your lovely posts about Keme and Jorgan that got me back into SW:TOR and led to this fic. It literally wouldn’t exist without you :)

Vesiya Hallis/Aric Jorgan, sometime in early act 2? After Balmorra but before Hoth, but nothing canon is mentioned anyway so it doesn’t matter.

"Captain Hallis." Ves heard General Garza's voice from the comm as she passed through the room and snapped to attention almost automatically. "Good, I'm glad I caught you before you disembarked."

Those were never good words to hear. "Is there a problem, General?"

"For once, no, there isn't. I'm happy to say I'm calling with possible good news for a change." 

Vesiya Hallis had never in her life believed something less than she believed Garza right now, and the general's next words only confirmed her suspicions. "Captain, you may or may not be aware, but there's an annual Officer's Ball being held in about three weeks' time. It's a chance for senators, high-ranking military personnel, and other influential figures of the Republic to socialize outside of work and strengthen the bonds of the Republic's leadership." She was clearly reading from a script or an invitation. "The Senate has asked that Havoc Squad be in attendance this year."

Ves stood in silence for several long moments, staring unflinchingly at the hologram of her commanding officer and waiting for her to say she was just kidding. When that didn’t happen, she said as politely as possible, “With all due respect, sir, don't we have bigger things to worry about than a party?”

“That isn't your decision, Captain,” Garza said, tone sharp, before her posture relaxed just the slightest amount. “Unfortunately, it isn't mine either. I happen to agree with you, but command has made it clear this is not a request.”

“Yes, sir,” Ves said, because there was nothing else she could say. She wasn't going to pick a fight over a party invitation, tempting as it was.

“Good. Oh, and Captain? It's a black tie affair. You may want to invest in a dress. Garza out.”

Vesiya stared at the empty holocomm after Garza ended the call. She stayed until she heard the telltale sound of boots on the durasteel deck of the ship - Dorne’s deliberate footsteps, light but purposeful, coming from the medbay, and Jorgan coming from the armory, his stride faster and determined, but also quieter, still moving like a sniper.

Dammit. They were going to be even less happy about this new development than she was.

-------

“She wants us to what,” Jorgan growled. At the same time, Dorne said, “I beg your pardon, sir?”

“Havoc Squad is cordially invited to attend the Officer's Ball,” Ves said with much more enthusiasm than she was actually feeling. "It's in a little more than three weeks, on Coruscant."

"You can't be serious, sir." Jorgan already sounded like he wanted to argue with her about it and was just trying to find the right angle of attack. 

"I wish I wasn't." Vesiya leaned a hip against the wall across from both of them. "Garza made it clear that we don't have a choice in the matter. It's an order, from somewhere above her."

"How far above?" Dorne was clearly trying to find a way out of their unwanted shore leave as well, but where Jorgan got angry, Dorne got calculating. Ves could almost hear the numbers running in her head.

"Far enough that she wouldn't tell me who the orders come from." She held up a hand, forestalling more arguments. "For now, we finish the job we're on. We should be able to finish up our business here in the next few days, and then we would be headed back to Coruscant anyway. We'll just stay a little longer than we originally intended."

"I'd like to go on record as being completely against this, sir."

"You and me both, Jorgan." She clapped a hand on his shoulder. He didn't immediately shrug her off, so she was pretty sure he wasn't as angry as he claimed to be - or at the very least, he wasn't blaming her for it. "But unless we want to refuse a direct order, we're just going to have to deal with it."

"We've refused orders before," he said, quietly enough that it was just meant for her, amusement in his voice.

Ves fought to stay serious, but didn't quite succeed. "Don't encourage me, Lieutenant."

"Yes, sir."

-------

Vesiya hated clothes shopping on Coruscant, especially in the Senate districts. No matter where you went it was always too crowded, the shopkeepers either completely ignored you or wouldn’t leave you alone (depending on how many credits they thought you had), and she always had the distinct feeling she was being watched everywhere she went. It had been years since she'd needed anything that required a trip to the upper level markets, and even then it was usually something for her mother, not herself.

Yet here she was, bright and early in the morning, with her squad's expense card and her medical officer.

Dorne was trying her best not to look like a tourist and not quite succeeding. Her eyes darted between the gleaming storefronts to the affluently dressed shoppers to the distant lights of the Senate tower. Even in their civvies, the two of them stood out like a sore thumb - and not only because Ves was one of the few non-humans out shopping today.

"First time on Coruscant, Elara?"

“Yes, sir. Considering my background,” she said vaguely, since they were very much not in a safe place to be specific, “Command thought it unwise to allow me this close to the heart of the Republic.”

Ves bit the inside of her cheek to keep from saying something rude about Republic Command. Elara had proved her loyalty in every way a person could; she deserved better than the way she was treated. Only a little of her anger leaked into her words when she said, "Maybe at first, sure, but it's been years."

"I'm sure they thought that level of caution was necessary," Elara said lightly. "I take it this isn't your first time here, then."

Ves allowed her the subject change. “I grew up here. My mother is a senator, my father's a retired admiral, my twin brother is SIS, and I have a little brother who's a Jedi. Or a student Jedi, anyway. I'm not entirely sure how it works.” She probably knew all of that, though. It was all in her file; the only part that was classified was Vitrin’s SIS status, and Elara had high enough clearance to have access to that information. “My whole life has orbited around Coruscant.”

"You don't talk much about your family," Elara said quietly.

Ves shrugged. "I was always worried about being judged by their merits instead of my own. The less I talk about them, the more I get to be seen as 'the Commander of Havoc Squad' instead of 'the Admiral’s Daughter.'"

"I can understand that."

"You know, I thought you might." Dorne was a big deal name in the Empire as much as Hallis was in the Republic. It could be hard to grow under such a big shadow, but they were both doing okay. "So what about you?"

Elara hesitated. "I believe I've told you about my family before."

"You have. I meant where are you from? What's it like?"

"I grew up on Dromund Kaas, the Imperial homeworld." Elara sounded like she was giving a report, clipped and professional, like her homeworld held no emotional significance to her any longer. "It's a forest world, steeped in the history of the Empire all the way to its foundations. As for what it's like… well, that would depend on how much you like rain, sir."

Ves grinned at how serious her friend was. Even when they weren't working, she never seemed to fully relax. "You don't have to 'sir' me, Elara. We're off duty. You can just call me by my name."

"Yes, sir… Vesiya."

She laughed at her friend’s awkwardness. "You call call me 'Hallis' if you're more comfortable being on last-name basis. Works for Jorgan."

"I have always wondered about that," Elara said slowly. "I didn't feel it was my place to ask."

"Well, you have my permission to speak freely."

"You and Lieutenant Jorgan seem close," Elara said immediately, as if she'd been holding back on commenting on it for months.

“I… suppose we are,” Ves said carefully. It was an understatement. She and Jorgan had been through hell together and dragged each other out the other side. There was no one she trusted more in the entire galaxy; not even her twin brother came close. He was her best friend and her biggest rival and lately, possibly something more. There had been a few moments that she could feel a real spark between them, but neither of them were quite ready to cross that line yet.

Of course, she couldn’t tell any of this to Elara. Could she? Ves was fairly sure she was breaking some regulation or other just thinking about Jorgan the way she did, much less speaking any of it out loud.

The look Elara gave her said she wasn’t doing a very good job keeping it to herself anyway. She raised an amused eyebrow and continued, “Then why are the two of you still on a last-name basis? You seem to have no issue calling me by my first name.”

"I'm not entirely sure Jorgan knows my first name," Vesiya said dryly, then sighed. "It's… complicated. When we first met, we… butt heads, a little. A lot. He pushed and I pushed back and we were… not antagonistic, but certainly not friendly." She scratched absent-mindedly at her forearm, at a faded burn scar there. She didn't like to think about Ord Mantell. "His joining Havoc Squad involved a demotion and getting put under the command of a rookie. It took us a while to move past that. At this point, I think we're both just waiting for the other one to take that step first." In more ways than one, I think, she added silently.

"With all due respect, sir--Vesiya, you have to be the two most stubborn people I have ever met." It was impossible to tell if Dorne meant that as a compliment or an insult. Maybe both.

Ves took it as a compliment anyway and grinned, wide and proud. "I know. It must really suck to be our enemy." She laced her arm with Elara's and got them moving again before they got swept up in the crowd. "Come on. I thought we were supposed to be having a girls’ day out. Bonding time. There’s this great little noodle place around the corner here, we should stop in once we’re done shopping."

-------

Vesiya stared at herself in the mirror. She wasn't quite sure what she thought of the woman that stared back.

She wore her hair loose for what must be the first time in years, falling in dark red waves past her shoulders. The sleek, pale orange dress she wore complimented her dark green skin, and it was sleeveless and backless, emphasizing the toned muscles of her arms and shoulders. She felt naked without her assault cannon, but she doubted they'd let her waltz into the party with it; maybe she could say it was her plus one.

She looked great. She also looked like a completely different person. She just wished she knew if she wanted to; maybe that was the point.

She sighed and let it go, leaving her quarters to find the others.

“You ready to go?” Ves asked as she stepped into the bunk room. Elara was nowhere to be seen, but across the room, Jorgan was engaged in a battle against his bowtie, and it seemed to be winning.

She took the opportunity quickly look him over.

Some men carried a tux better than others, just like some carried a full suit of armor better. Aric Jorgan, it seemed, could look effortlessly good in both. It was a simple tux, classic black and perfectly tailored, drawing attention to his broad shoulders. His tie, like Ves’s dress and the detailing on Elara’s, was Havoc orange - they may be mingling in high society, but none of them would let anyone forget who they were. It looked very good against his tawny fur.

She shook herself before she got caught staring. “Problems, Lieutenant?”

"I’d like to meet the person who invented these," Jorgan said, not bothering to conceal his annoyance. Not that he ever did. "I have a few choice words for them."

He looked up at her, and the half-tied tie unraveled as soon as his attention drifted from it. He didn't seem to notice. He glanced over her like she'd just done to him; it took him quite a while before he made it back up to her face, but there was clear appreciation in his eyes that made her feel warm everywhere his gaze touched.

He lingered for a long time at her throat, where she wore the necklace he'd given her, the gift to congratulate her on her promotion to Captain. He looked shocked to see it there. Did he not expect her to wear it? Or was he just surprised she was doing so in public?

"Here, let me." Ves said, when it was clear he wasn't going to be the one to break the silence. She took pity on him, taking the poor tie from his hands before he mangled it further. "Look up."

“I hate these parties,” Jorgan grumbled, but he did as she ordered. “I still don't see what good it does anyone to force us all into a room to make small talk for four hours.”

"It's good publicity. Forces the higher-ups to remember that we're people, not just cannon-fodder." Maybe if she said it enough, she'd start to believe it. "And hey, worst case scenario, we piss them off enough that they send us back to war just to get rid of us."

Jorgan scoffed. "Politics." He tried to look down at what she was doing, but she tilted his head back up out of her way with a finger under his chin. "Where did you learn to tie a bowtie?"

"My dad used to go to the Officer's Ball every year until he retired. I always helped him with his, for as long as I can remember. Even went as his date a few times." She remembered how proud she was, walking into the hall on her dad's arm in a dress made entirely of ruffles. "It was a lot more exciting when I was eleven."

"Well, aren't you just full of surprises," Jorgan murmured.

“You have no idea. There.” He tilted his head back down, watching her as she finished straightening his tie. She fixed his collar, trying to ignore the way her fingertips brushed the back of his neck as she did, then smoothed out his jacket. “You clean up nice, Jorgan.” It was an understatement, but she didn't say it.

“Thanks.” He looked like he was going to say more, but he didn't.

Ves hesitated, reluctant to step away from him. She met Jorgan's firm, serious gaze, close enough that she could see the flecks of gold in his green eyes. She could feel the warmth radiating off of him, the calming, steady beat of his heart under her palm, smell the subtle cologne he was wearing. 

One of his hands settled on her arm, just above her elbow. Her fingers tightened slightly on the lapels of his jacket. His eyes never wavered from hers. She'd much rather stay right here than go to the ball. What would he say if she told him that?

Ves took a step back, trying not to let her reluctance show. “We should get going.”

"I'll go tell Dorne we're ready to go," Jorgan said after a brief moment of hesitation. He waited until she nodded before turning to leave, only to turn back after three steps. "Hey, Hallis. You look good."

"Thanks." He only made it another step before she called out to him. "Hey, Jorgan? Save me a dance?"

"Count on it." He nodded and left without another word.

-------

The Officer’s Ball was every bit as elegant and extravagant as one would expect from a party for the Republic's elite. Everything was draped in gold and blue, with warm, faux-natural lighting and bouquets of fresh flowers in the center of every table. The tables were set up around the edges of the room, some with chairs and some tall, made for standing at while drinking and making conversation. Serving droids mingled near the walls, holding trays of drinks and hors d'oeuvres and desserts. The center of the floor was left open, for dancing or mingling; there were several couples already sweeping across the dance floor. On the opposite side of the room from the door, a small stage was set up with a band playing something gentle enough that it wouldn’t distract from conversation.

Havoc Squad walked into the hall and every eye in the place turned to watch them. They must have been quite a sight, Jorgan standing tall and confident, expression completely stoic, with a beautiful, powerful woman on each arm.

"Not sure why they’re staring," Ves said quietly as eyes continued to follow them as they found their way through the crowds near the door. She tried to avoid looking at any of them, preferring to keep her attention on her squadmates. "I thought that was a pretty subtle entrance by our standards."

"We’ve had subtler, sir," Elara said in the same hushed tone. She was stunning in a bold red dress with pale orange embroidery at the neck, hem, and wrists. More than one person watched her appreciatively as she walked past, but she didn't so much as glance their way.

"Had louder, too," Jorgan muttered. Several people looked his way, too, but he stared them down until they looked away again. "Maybe we should have brought Fourex. Or Vik. That would have gone over well."

Technically, the invitation had been for all of Havoc Squad (minus Fourex, since he was a droid), but after weighing her options, she'd decided she'd get in more trouble bringing Vik than she would leaving him behind. It had been very easy to convince him to stay home; she'd simply told him it was an order to go with them and he was suddenly and conspicuously absent.

Ves had to cover her mouth to quiet her laughter. "Oh, they’d have kicked us out immediately."

"Probably. Might’ve been worth it."

“It would have absolutely been worth it.”

“Perhaps we should keep that strategy in mind next time we’re invited to one of these,” Elara added dryly. She pulled them toward an empty table, one of the tall standing ones close to the dance floor. It was a good vantage point, close enough to the crowds that they could claim they were being sociable but far enough away that they were really only keeping each others’ company.

A droid approached them immediately with drinks. Ves grabbed a tumbler of what turned out to be Alderaanian brandy; the bottle of it probably cost more than her starship did. "Not bad," she said because she knew it would piss off at least one eavesdropper. "Not my favorite, but not bad."

"What do you prefer, then?" Jorgan asked. He'd somehow managed to snag an actual bottle of beer. Ves was extremely jealous.

“Corellian whiskey. Or beer.” She shrugged. “I'm a pretty simple girl.”

“Good to know.”

She smirked slyly, raising an eyebrow at him. “Why? You planning on buying me a drink?”

Jorgan smirked too, but attempted to hide it by taking a sip from his beer. “Well, I would, but I think all the drinks are free.”

It didn’t escape Vesiya’s notice that for the rest of the night, whenever her drink was empty, a bottle of beer would find its way to the table in front of her. Jorgan never said anything about it, so neither did she.

A lot of people stopped by their table to talk to them, mostly generals and admirals that recognized them or senators that they’d worked with in the past, but also some new faces who just wanted a chance to speak with Havoc Squad. Ves did most of the talking. She didn’t like the way people kept side-eyeing Elara as soon as they heard her accent, and of her and Jorgan, she was the more sociable - if only slightly.

Quite a few people approached the three of them with offers to dance. They refused most of them, though after a few glasses of wine, Elara started to relax a little and allowed a few clearly besotted young senators to pull her out onto the dance floor. Ves begrudgingly accepted an equally begrudging offer from Senator Krasul; it was the longest and most painful five minutes of her life, and her life these days mostly involved being actively shot at.

Jorgan wasn't there when she got back to their table, but Elara was.

“Lieutenant Jorgan went to get us some more drinks, I believe,” she said in response to Vesiya's unspoken question. “Looks like you and Senator Krasul were enjoying yourselves.”

“Oh yeah. We're best friends now,” Ves deadpanned. She leaned her elbows on the table; it dipped a little under her weight. “How long do you think we have to stay before it counts as 'making an appearance'?”

“We've barely been here an hour, sir,” Elara pointed out, but she didn’t hide her amusement. “I was under the impression that you liked dancing.”

“I do. In normal circumstances.”

Elara smiled slightly. “I don't think any of us know what 'normal circumstances' look like anymore.”

“You're probably right.” Ves's eyes wandered over the crowd. There really were a remarkable amount of familiar faces, only a few of which were people she knew through her family. Most of them she'd met on Havoc business.

Maybe Havoc Squad belonged here more than they thought they did.

She spotted Jorgan on the other side of the room. He'd been roped into a conversation that he looked to be having trouble escaping. His expression said he'd already run out of patience but was too smart to say so, so he was stuck there holding two bottles of beer and a glass of wine and nodding at whatever was being said to him. Ves wondered how long he'd been there, and if he needed rescuing. 

"I've heard rumors that very powerful Force sensitives have the ability to hear a person's thoughts as easily as if they were spoken aloud," Elara said suddenly, in a suspiciously casual tone.

Vesiya sighed, bracing herself. "Why are you telling me this, Elara?"

"As far as I am aware, Lieutenant Jorgan possesses little to no Force sensitivity." She nudged Ves a step forward, away from the table, and added slyly, "Which means, Captain, if you wish to dance with him, you are going to have to actually ask."

Ves struggled to find a way to reply to that, but Elara just nudged her again, so she just sucked it up, straightened her spine, and walked across the room toward her XO.

She stepped up next to Jorgan and wrapped a hand around his bicep in a silent gesture of solidarity. He glanced her way and there was visible relief on his face at the sight of her. She smiled at him, but her smile fell away immediately when the person he’d been talking to turned to face her.

She was a short, middle-aged Mirialan woman with bright green eyes and graying dark red hair, her face covered in tattoos celebrating a life full of accomplishments. Her smile brightened and sharpened when she turned to Ves, offering a hand that she had no choice but to shake. “You must be Captain Hallis. Your Lieutenant was just telling me about you. He speaks very highly of you.”

“Does he.” Ves looked back at Jorgan, one eyebrow raised. He just stared back, neither confirming or denying.

“Don’t worry, Lieutenant. She speaks very highly of you too.” The senator said, patting his arm in a motherly fashion before turning her attention back to Ves. “It sounds like you and your squad are very busy defending the Republic, Captain.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Too busy to call your mother and tell her you’d been promoted?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Vesiya…” Senator Uheza Hallis had a way of saying her name that always made Vesiya feel like she was six years old again.

“It’s a very recent development, and I haven’t had access to a secure channel,” Ves said contritely. “I was going to call you tomorrow. Really.”

“Hmm. I’ll be expecting that call first thing, then. Your father will be happy to hear from you.” Her stern expression fell away, revealing a grin that that left no question that she and Ves were related. “I’ve taken enough of your time. Go enjoy the party. Nice to finally meet you, Lieutenant Jorgan.” She plucked the drinks from his hands and walked away toward their table and Elara.

“Ma’am.” Jorgan nodded respectfully. They watched Uheza walk away in silence, then he started walking in the opposite direction, taking the scenic route back to the table. “So your mom’s a senator.”

“I’m afraid so.” Ves kept her hand tucked in the crook of his elbow, keeping apace with him as they walked around the edges of the dance floor.

“That explains why she asked so many questions about you specifically.” He was much more amused by the situation than he should have had any right to be.

She fought the desire to cover her face with her hands. “Should I be concerned about what you said about me?”

“Never,” Jorgan said immediately, utterly sincere. A hint of amusement returned to his voice when he added, “If I were you, I’d be more concerned with what I didn’t tell her.”

“Do you want to dance?” Ves blurted out. They were getting too close to the end of their detour, their table within sight. She didn’t want to miss her chance.

“I thought you’d never ask, sir.”

He diverted their course, leading her toward a less crowded part of the dance floor. He took her hand and led her into a sudden spin, her hair and dress flaring dramatically around her, before he pulled her close, one hand holding hers and the other on her waist.

She tipped her head back and laughed, loud and delighted. “Well, aren’t you full of surprises.”

“You have no idea.”

They danced in companionable silence for a while, trying to keep to themselves and away from the rest of the crowd. Anytime anyone came close, Jorgan’s eyes darted their way as if assessing if they were a threat. Ves tried not to find it endearing.

She slid her hand further up his shoulder, pulling him a bit closer, bringing his attention back to her. “You’re a much better dance partner than Krasul was. Even if you keep looking around like you’re expecting us to be attacked.”

“Might liven the place up a little,” he said sourly, but his eyes finally found their way back to hers.

“Not your scene, Jorgan?”

“You could say that.” His eyes danced over her face, studying her, looking for something. Whatever it was, he must have found it, because he added in a lower, warmer tone, “This part’s not bad.”

A slow smile spread across her face, and Jorgan followed its journey with rapt interest. “Not bad, huh? Considering how much you didn’t want to be here, I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“You should.” He leaned closer to murmur in her ear, voice such a low rumble she felt it more than heard it. “Every man in this room wishes he was me right now. Dancing with the most beautiful woman at the ball.” His cheek pressed to hers, soft fur brushing her bare skin and that was a tactile memory that would be haunting her dreams now. So was the way his hand slid from her waist to her bare back, fingertips grazing her skin.

Ves had no idea how to respond. Normally, she’d just blow off a comment like that, roll her eyes and change the subject, but normally a comment like that wouldn’t leave her feeling like she had a flock of thrantas in her stomach. It felt different, coming from Jorgan.

She pulled back enough to meet his eyes again. There was a challenge in them, daring her to reply. They’d given up all pretense of dancing. They just stood there on the edge of the dance floor, eyes locked, and the rest of the room fell away. There was no telling how much time passed while they waited for Ves to find her voice again.

“Aric…”

She was interrupted by the sound of blaster fire.

They moved apart in synch, automatically reaching for their guns before remembering they weren’t carrying them. Ves’s cannon and Jorgan’s sniper rifle were safe and useless in the armory on their ship. Thinking quickly, Jorgan grabbed her arm and pulled her back toward a nearby pillar, at least getting them out of line of sight of the door.

Ves pressed her back to the pillar and peeked around the edge of it. Four people in mismatched armor were waving blaster rifles and pistols at the terrified crowd, and more were coming in behind them. She scanned quickly for Elara, but couldn’t see her from here.

A very tall man in dented gray armor stepped forward and called out, voice echoing through the suddenly silent hall. “Everyone remain calm! This is a robbery! As long as everyone behaves, there’s no reason for anyone to get hurt.”

Vesiya glanced over at Jorgan. “You just had to say something, didn’t you?”

He pulled a blaster out of an inner pocket of his jacket. “Sorry, sir. I forgot how much the universe likes irony.”

She shook her head, but couldn’t help but smirk as she pulled her own holdout blaster from where she’d strapped it to her thigh. She glanced around the corner again; the leader was still talking, the rest of them fanning out behind him. “You got any ideas?”

He leaned around the other side of the pillar for a moment, then came back. “I count six at the door and two in the crowd, but they must have more stationed outside. There’s no way they got past security with only eight people.”

“We could have. We could’ve done it with three.”

He smirked, but otherwise didn’t comment. “We’ll have to assume it’s just the two of us. We’ve got no idea where Dorne is and no way to contact her, and we can’t assume anyone else here will be any help.”

Ves didn't feel quite so pessimistic about the situation. There was no way that, in a room full of the Republic's finest, they were the only ones who thought to bring concealed weapons. She didn't say it out loud, though; he'd know what she was thinking. "Two versus eight is still good odds. I’m more worried about civilians caught in the crossfire."

“How’s your night vision, sir?”

"Not as good as yours, I bet, but better than a human’s." She saw where he was going with this. All but one of the attackers were human. She scanned the walls of the room quickly. There had to be a door to the kitchen or a security room or something. "There. Northeast corner."

“On it.”

Jorgan left without another word, moving silently toward the door, staying in cover as much as he could. Ves kept an eye on the enemy, making sure no one spotted him, but he made it to the door unnoticed. He nodded at her, then disappeared through it.

She turned back to the would-be thieves. The leader had stopped talking and was making his way through the crowd, taking jewelry and anything else he dubbed interesting from them. Ves aimed her blaster at a lamp just past the leader’s head; it exploded in a shower of sparks. Several partygoers screamed and backed away. Not quite enough to get a clear shot on anyone, but it was a start.

“Go see what that was.” The boss pointed at one of his henchmen and then in Ves’s vague direction. They hadn’t seen exactly where she was, then. Good.

She picked up a nearby empty plate and tossed it. It clattered to the floor near an adjacent pillar, and the henchman predictably followed the noise. He walked right past her, facing away from her to where he thought the threat was, blaster rifle pointed at empty air. She brought the butt of her blaster down on the back of his head, knocking him out cold.

She took his rifle and checked the cell. It was mostly full. This night just kept getting better and better.

Something touched her shoulder and she turned, blaster raised. Two figures stood there, pressed to the wall, half hidden behind a large sculpture. One was Elara, holding what appeared to be a vibroknife. The other stared at Ves from behind the business end of her new rifle, hands raised in surrender, and he was so unexpected it took several long seconds to recognize him.

“Jonas?”

“Captain! Fancy meeting you here.” Jonas Balkar looked her over and grinned charmingly like she didn’t currently have a blaster pointed at his face. “You look radiant, Ves.”

She rolled her eyes, but she lowered her rifle. “Now’s not the time.”

“You let me know when it is.” He glanced around quickly. She knew what he was looking for even before he asked, “Where’s Jorgan? Elara said he was with you.”

As if on cue, the lights all went out.

“I expect he’ll be back in a minute,” Ves said smugly.

“Good idea.” Her dark vision was good enough that she could see the way Jonas crossed his arms, not pouting but close. “Except now I can’t see anything.”

“Emergency generators will be online in less than two minutes, sir,” Elara said. She wouldn’t be able to see anything either, but she didn’t seem bothered by it. “I assume you have a plan.”

“You assume correctly.” She grabbed them both by the arm and dragged them closer, dropping her voice to a loud whisper. “I need the two of you to get as many civilians out of harm’s way as possible. There’s no way the eight we saw in the building are the only ones in this group, and if this turns into a real fight, I don’t want anyone getting hurt besides the people we want to get hurt.” She pressed her holdout blaster into Balkar’s hand. “Find my mother. She’s in the crowd somewhere, she’ll be able to help you.”

He looked down at the blaster, though with the lights out there’s no way he could see it. “How am I supposed to know which one’s your mother?”

“She looks like me except six inches shorter and twenty-five years older. Look for a Mirialan woman barking orders and chances are good it’s her.”

It was too dark to see the smirk on Balkar’s face, but she heard it in his voice. “So you get your charm from her as well as your looks. Good to know.”

“Jonas.”

“Sorry, sorry. I’ll behave. For now.” He leaned in to murmur in her ear, almost exactly the same way Jorgan had done only a few minutes ago. “You know, one of these days, we’re going to bump into each other when we’re not in the middle of some life or death situation. And when that day comes, I’m going to finally buy you that drink.”

“We’ll see,” Ves said vaguely. There were no thrantas in her stomach when he touched her, just the scent of his cologne and the sensation of someone standing much too close. She wished she knew how to just tell him that. She pulled away, putting a more comfortable distance between them again. “Let’s deal with the life or death situation first, shall we?”

She felt a presence at her shoulder and didn't need to look to know it was Jorgan. He confirmed it a moment later when he said, “Balkar? What the hell are you doing here?”

“Enjoying Coruscant's vibrant nightlife,” Jonas said easily. “I'll never turn down a chance to wear a tuxedo and eat free food.”

The emergency lights finally turned on, lighting the room in lurid red. “That's our cue. Go.”

Elara left with a simple “yes, sir,” dragging Balkar along with her.

Ves turned to Jorgan. “They're going to try and clear out noncombatants, give us a cleaner playing field. You and I get to do the fun part.” She took the pistol from his hand and gave him the rifle instead.

“Aww, thanks, boss,” he said, deadpan. “I didn't get you anything.” Despite the sarcasm, he looked more comfortable with a rifle in his hands, and they both knew he was the better shot.

She looked around her pillar again. It was hard to see much in the dull red light, but she could only see four by the door now. With one on the floor unconscious, that left at least three currently unaccounted for. It looked like they had finished their looting, there were two large sacks filled with jewelry and credits by the doors. Why hadn’t they left yet?

“Something about this doesn’t make sense,” Jorgan said by her ear. He stood behind her, peering out around the pillar as well and following where she was looking. “Some of the most decorated heroes of the Republic are here tonight. Why break into a party like this just to steal some jewelry?”

She picked up on what he wasn’t saying. “You think they’re meant to be a distraction? From what?”

“I wish I knew, sir.”

She pressed her back against the pillar once more, thinking out loud. “If they were after violence, it would have already happened. If they were just here for the money, they would have already left.” A sudden idea struck her. She put a hand on Jorgan’s arm and leaned closer, adding in a harsh whisper, “How much classified information do you think is in this room right now? How many high-profile targets walking around unarmed and unarmored?”

“Enough that the Empire would consider hiring mercenaries to collect a few of them,” he replied grimly. “Then why haven’t they?” He paused, then answered his own question. “Because they don’t know who their targets are.”

“They’re after the guest list, then. A list of names and faces of the Republic’s best and brightest.” The red lights were starting to give Ves a headache, but she pushed through it, trying to think. “What was through the door?”

“The kitchen. I didn’t find a security room. Had to slice the lights through the control panel outside.”

“Okay. I’m on it.” She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, steadying herself. “Remind them who they’re messing with. Make them regret crashing our party.”

“Yes, sir.” He caught her elbow before she could leave. “Be careful, Hallis.”

“You too.” She nodded, then slipped out of his grasp.

It was hard to sneak in three-inch heels, but Ves did the best she could. The sudden burst of blaster fire behind her made it a little easier. There were more shots from farther in the room. She had to hope it was Balkar’s holdout blaster backing Jorgan up. She didn’t turn around to check.

The kitchen was empty of organic life, only a few serving droids standing about looking nervous. One of them called out to her as she passed through, but made no move to stop her. “I am sorry, ma’am, but only authorized personnel are allowed past the kitchens.”

“I understand that. I’m Captain Vesiya Hallis, Havoc Squad. If there’s a problem, take it up with my commanding officer.” She didn’t wait for him to answer, just kept going.

The hallways past the kitchen were empty and identical. She followed until she came to a fork, and with no indicators on where they led, she followed her instincts and turned right. It kept going for what felt like hours, only the clicking of her heels on the tile floor to keep her company, and the doubt started to creep in. She hoped things were going okay out in the main hall. She hated not being able to contact her squad. If they ever got invited to another party like this, their closed-circuit comms were not staying on the ship. Neither was her assault cannon; if she had to put it in the coat check room, so be it, but she wasn’t going anywhere without it for a while.

She turned a corner and had to dive back behind it as a blaster bolt flew past her head. So she’d been going the right way after all. She peeked slowly around the edge, keeping as much of herself behind the wall as possible. There were two people at the end of the hall and she recognized them both from the initial group.

Another volley of bolts flew past her. One caught her in the arm before she could get back behind the wall, searing a hot line across her skin. She swore and returned fire, but they both ducked back into cover again too.

Ves thought quickly. This stalemate wasn’t going to help anyone but her enemies; they were clearly guarding whoever was actually doing the work, and the longer they kept her here the more time they had to finish the job. “Elara had the right idea,” she muttered to herself as she quickly unstrapped her shoes and took them off. “I should’ve brought a knife.”

She ducked low and sprinted around the corner, bolts flying over her head. She hit the first guy low, shoving him against the wall with her shoulder in his gut, and turned to throw her shoes in the face of the second guy, throwing off his aim. Two bolts to the chest took care of him, and a solid left hook to the jaw took care of the first guy, though it shot pain down her injured arm.

She took their weapons, putting the new pistol in the holster on her thigh and throwing the rifle strap over her shoulder, keeping the pistol she’d borrowed from Jorgan in her hand. Then she continued on to the door just past them that she assumed led to the security room.

Inside the room were four dead security guards and the man who’d been leading the assault on the main hall. He was tall and broad, with meticulously groom black hair, and he hadn’t shaved for long enough that it was on the cusp of becoming a beard but wasn’t quite there yet. He reached for his blaster, but he was too slow. Ves pointed both Jorgan’s pistol and her stolen rifle at him, and he raised his hands in surrender.

“You picked the wrong party to crash, pal.”

“So I see,” he said, and he had an Imperial accent he hadn’t had at the door. “And you are?”

She just bared her teeth at him. “What are you after?”

He smiled, seemingly unthreatened by her or her arsenal, and didn’t reply.

She put the barrel of her blaster pistol against his forehead. She asked again, voice pitched low and dangerous, “What. Are. You. After?”

“Pull the trigger, soldier. You’ll get more answers from my corpse.”

Ves swung the butt of her blaster down at his face, but he was heartier than his henchmen and remained conscious. She took a bit of dark satisfaction at the crack of cartilage as his nose broke, but didn’t have the chance to enjoy it as he roared and lunged at her, shoving her against the wall.

He slammed her wrist against the duracrete wall and her blaster fell from her numb fingers to clatter to the floor. One large hand wrapped around her throat, hard enough that she worried he’d crush her trachea long before she had to worry about running out of air. She clawed at his arm, but all he did was tighten his grip, enough that she started to see stars.

She brought her knee up into his solar plexus, then jabbed her fingers into his armpit where she knew his armor wouldn’t protect him. He grunted and loosened his hand just enough that she stopped seeing static at the edges of her vision. She took the opportunity to grab one of his fingers and twist it back until it popped. He screamed and dropped her.

She stepped around him and threw herself at his back as hard as she could, pushing him into the wall. His head hit the duracrete and this time he finally passed out.

Ves took a few deep breaths. They burned on the way down. She was going to have a hideous bruise around her throat tomorrow.

She searched the security guards and luckily one of them had a set of restraints on him. Another one had a keycard. She put the restraints on her new mysterious Imperial friend and threw him in the corner. If he woke up before she got back, at least he wasn’t going anywhere. Just to be sure, she locked the door behind her. She slipped the keycard into her bra, the only place she had to put it, then picked up her blaster again and continued down the hall.

Just before the third corner, she heard rapid footsteps headed her way, too fast for her to get into cover. She raised her rifle and rounded the corner to face them head-on. She came face to barrel with a blaster aimed right between her eyes.

“Hallis.” The blaster disappeared immediately, revealing her XO. He looked as relieved to see her as she felt to see him.

“Jorgan.” She could have hugged him right then if she’d had the energy. As it was, she just sagged against the wall, letting it hold her up so she didn’t have to. “Nice of you to join me.”

“Sorry I’m late.” He noticed the wound on her arm and gave her a quick once-over, looking for more injuries. “You okay?”

“I’ll be fine. You should see the other guy.” She gestured vaguely back toward the security room. “Got him tied up and unconscious. Maybe someone else can get more out of him than I did.”

“You leave that to me.” Uheza stepped out from behind Jorgan, a rifle in hand and an expression of cold, silent fury on her face. “Agent Balkar, come with me, please.”

Ves gave them the keycard so they could get into the security room, ignoring the looks both Jonas and Jorgan gave her when she pulled it out. Her mother just nodded and left.

Once they were gone, her head fell back against the wall and she closed her eyes. With the fighting over, the adrenaline was fading, and in its place came the pain and exhaustion. “You think the bar’s still open? I could really use a drink.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Jorgan said softly. His fingers grazed her throat, an unexpected, feather-light caress, tracing the bruises that had already started to bloom there. Her eyes shot open again. “A few of the officers jumped in to help as soon as they saw us start to fight back. Dorne’s patching up some that got injured in the fighting, but I can go get her.”

She covered his hand with hers and pushed him gently away. “I’ll be okay. I can wait until we get back to the ship. I’m just tired.”

“I can see that.” He didn’t look like he believed her in the slightest. “At least let me take care of the one on your arm. Sir.”

That was a fair concession. Ves nodded, and he took off his bowtie to wrap it around the bolt wound on her bicep that was still lazily seeping blood. She chuckled. “After all that work I went through getting you in that in the first place. Seems like a waste of a good tie.”

“I’ll get a new one.” He glanced at her face for just a moment before his attention turned back to her injury. “Did you lose your shoes? I remember you being taller.”

“I think I threw them at someone. They’re down the hall, somewhere.” She tried to wave in that direction, but Jorgan tightened his grip on her arm to finish bandaging it. She watched him as he worked, his face serious, a knot in his brow that said he was still concerned about her even if he didn’t say it. The temptation to reach over and smooth away that worry was almost overwhelming; she kept talking in an effort to keep it at bay. “Sorry we didn’t get to finish our dance.”

“I guess you’ll just have to owe me one.” He took off his tux jacket and draped it over her shoulders. With the collar up, it hid the worst of the bruise on her neck.

Ves pulled it tighter around herself and gave him a tired smirk. “Are you going to keep giving me pieces of your suit if I find more imps to fight? Because that’s the kind of incentive program I can get behind.”

“Sorry, Hallis, not on the first date. I’m not that kind of guy.” If this counted as a date, Ves was pretty sure it wasn’t their first. She could think of at least one shoot-out in a cantina that should count, too. Jorgan’s smirk told her he was thinking the same thing. “Come on. Let’s get out of here.”

The rest of the evening went by in a blur. Several people approached Ves, as well as Jorgan and Elara who stayed at her sides like an honor guard, to thank them for their intervention. The Coruscant Security Force showed up before long and started asking questions. Ves answered the questions to the best of her ability, but after the third officer came around asking the exact same things the previous two had, she started to get a little short in her replies.

“That’s enough,” a stern, commanding voice cut in when the fourth SecForce officer started her round of questioning. Uheza stepped in between the officer and her daughter. “The captain has answered enough questions tonight. Havoc Squad are heroes. They’ve saved a lot of lives tonight and have earned some rest.”

The officer looked like she wanted to argue, but was smart enough not to mouth off to a senator. She walked away with one last disgruntled glance toward the three of them.

Uheza then turned to face them. “Is this what it’s always like for you?”

“I’m afraid so, ma’am,” Jorgan answered so Ves didn’t have to. “This was supposed to be our night off.”

“No wonder your squad has the reputation it does,” she said proudly. “I’ll see to it you’re all rewarded for what you’ve done here tonight.”

“That will not be necessary, Senator Hallis.” This time it was Elara who spoke up. She still managed to look flawless and elegant even after the night they’d had. “We simply did what anyone else would have done in our position.”

“Be that as it may, Sergeant Dorne,” Uheza said patiently, “you at least deserve some recognition. If not from Command or the Senate as a whole, then from me and the others you saved.” She turned her attention once more to her daughter. “Your Agent Balkar has taken the leader into custody--”

“Jonas isn’t one of mine,” Ves interrupted, almost automatically.

Uheza gave her a pointed look, but kept talking like she hadn’t said anything. “--and I expect he’ll have some answers for us in the morning about the reason behind this attack. I’ll contact you as soon as I hear something.”

Ves nodded. “We’re docked in the spaceport. You can stop by if you want, I’ll give you the tour.”

“I’d like that.” She gave Ves a gentle hug and whispered fiercely, “I’m proud of you, firecracker.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

Uheza pulled away, expression firm and commanding once more. “Lieutenant Jorgan, Sergeant Dorne, please get my daughter home before she keels over. I think she’s seen enough action for one day. There’s a speeder waiting for you outside that will take you back to your ship.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

-------

Surprisingly, Tanno Vik was waiting for them when they got back, sitting at their small table and cleaning his blaster. He looked Ves over, taking in her lack of shoes, her injuries, and her new arsenal. “Fun party?”

“Unlimited free drinks and an attack by Imperial mercenaries,” she said as blandly as possible, like they were discussing the weather.

He chuckled. “That’ll teach me not to stay home next time.”

Elara made Ves sit down so she could properly treat her wounds. She couldn’t do much for the bruise, which looked almost black in the harsh lighting of the medbay, but she put a proper kolto patch on the shot on her arm, and wrapped her wrist as well, which turned out to be fractured. Ves hadn’t even noticed with everything else that had happened.

Elara gave Jorgan a cursory inspection as well, but scans didn’t find any injuries on him, so she just told them to get some rest and left to do the same.

That sounded like a good idea. It had been a long night. Ves had no idea how late it even was.

“Well, that certainly wasn’t the way I expected the night to go,” Jorgan said, leaning casually against the doorway to her quarters.

She smiled at him and imitated his posture, leaning next to him. “Admit it, Jorgan. You had fun.”

He shrugged one shoulder. “It wasn't as bad as I expected it to be.”

“Good, because after what happened you know they're going to invite us back next year.”

“I can live with that,” he said seriously.

“Really?” She hadn’t expected him to say that, though thinking about it she guessed she shouldn’t really be surprised. Though he’d never admit it, Jorgan liked to play the hero. “What changed?”

He smirked. “I suppose there's worse ways to spend an evening than drinking free beer, dancing with pretty girls, and thwarting an Imperial assault,” he said slyly.

“Oh, I get second place, do I?” Ves asked playfully, leaning a little closer. “Aren't you a sweet-talker.”

“It's hard to beat an open bar on the Senate's dime. You came close.”

“I'll have to try harder next time.”

“I look forward to it.” He looked like he wanted to say more, but he didn’t. He looked away, breaking their stare, and the charge in the air around them broke too. “We should get some sleep.”

“Probably. Tomorrow’s going to be a busy day.” She took a reluctant step back, pulling herself out of his orbit. “Good night, Jorgan.”

“Good night, Hallis.”

Ves watched him walk away, smiling to herself, until he disappeared into the crew quarters. Only then did she turn and head into her own room. She barely got out of the dress before she threw herself into bed. She was out almost immediately.

[coffeeandspn]

I’m really, really sorry...

GIF is not mine.

Summary: Castiel hates to celebrate his birthday, and Dean knows that, but he thinks that Cas needs to let go his past, so he surprises him anyways. Things don’t go as planned, and they have a big fight.

Pairing: Eileen x Sam Winchester, maybe Human!Castiel x Dean Winchester 

A/N: I’ll write some ACTUAL Destiel scenes only if u guys like this first part and want me to write a second chapter, because there are no mentions of Dean and Castiel having another relationship than just best friends, nor there are mentions on they having feelings for each other, simply because it didn’t fit with the situation..

Rating: Teen and Up.

Warnings: angst, unhappy ending, Dean is an asshole, Castiel is depressed, physical abuse, blood, fights, Castiel’s father is an abusive and drunken asshole, homophobia, language

Words: 1972

It was done. There was no way of coming back in time to change it. Dean was sitting on the kitchen floor, alone. All the lights were out except for a faint one, everybody was sleeping, and there he was… By himself. His sobs were the only thing that filled the silence of the night, and he swore, he could hear Castiel sobbing as well. That made him feel even more miserable.  He blamed himself over and over again for his stupid mouth. Couldn’t he just, shut up for one time? No, he had to ruin everything. All the damn time. Sam gave him a disappointed look before going to bed, and Eileen gave him a pity one. Castiel had left like 30 minutes before that, and the look on his face… Dean didn´t even want to remember the way Cas looked at him before storming out of the kitchen, with tears on his face. He went directly to his room, slamming the door. Everyone was silent for a minute or two. Dean didn´t know what to say. 

He felt and still feels like an idiot. How could he be so heartless? Why on Earth did Dean think that saying that Castiel was acting just like his father was a good idea? On his goddamn birthday!? Dean was definitely an asshole.

Castiel was doing the best he could, but by the time Dean realized that, it was already too late.

He knew Cas felt tired and sad, that the memories will haunt him forever, he knew basically everything about him, they´ve been friends for over 10 years, but Dean thought that maybe, it was time to let that horrible memory go. He thought that it was time for Cas to actually start living the life he always deserved; a great one.

But Dean doesn’t know shit about how Cas really feels. Because his mother had a great life, and his father wasn´t an abusive asshole, unlike Castiel´s parents. Dean´s family was the typical perfect one, the kind of family everyone wanted.

On his 13th birthday, Castiel´s dad, Chuck, beat his wife to exhaustion because he discovered that his younger son Castiel, was gay, and no one said a word to him. Plus, he was a drunken, a horrible husband and an even more horrible father. He blamed Castiel´s mother because he claimed that ‘’That little faggot bastard came out of YOUR vagina and you raised him to be like that, not me, you fucking whore! Look what you did with my son! He can´t even be my son anymore, not if he likes to suck fucking dicks!’’ His brothers, Gabriel and Michael, that were 16 and 18 by that time, tried to stop him, but Chuck was way stronger than them. Castiel was terrified, he couldn´t even move. When he was done, and had left his mother unconscious on the bloody floor, he tried to catch Castiel, but he luckily reacted quickly and started running as fast as he could. He escaped his house and started screaming for help, which worked, because a few neighbors came out of their houses, and called the police when they realized what was happening. After all, that wasn´t the first fight of the family and Castiel was sure the cops had their address memorized at that point.

The police arrived minutes after, one of the neighbors let Castiel in to their house while Chuck was busy trying to get his drunk ass up from the floor because he fell while he was running behind his son, trying to catch him.

That´s when Castiel met the Winchesters, and that´s when Dean and Castiel´s great friendship started.

The ambulance arrived as well and they took his mother to the hospital as fast as they could. She fell on a coma after that. His father went to prison and killed himself after spending barely six months in there.

Castiel, Michael and Gabriel were sent to an orphanage after that, and visited their mother (and the Winchester family) every day. As they grew older, and their responsibilities bigger, they stopped seeing their mother that often. She never gave any signal of improvement, or waking up, and their hopes started fading. After ten years of being in coma, not even breathing for herself anymore, they painfully decided it was time to let her go.

Today was Castiel´s 25th birthday, the 12th anniversary of his family officially breaking apart, and in two months, the 2nd anniversary of the official death of his mother.

That´s why Castiel hated to celebrate his birthday so much, but Dean insisted on making a surprise dinner for his best friend, alongside with some decorations around the house.

Castiel was drunk when he came home. His clothes and hair were messy, and he smelled like alcohol and cigarettes.

When he saw the decorations, he started swearing and yelling that he didn´t want any of that shit. Sam and Eileen managed to calm him down, and Sam helped him to take a shower, because he could barely walk.

When he sat down at the table to eat, he was incredibly quiet.

Dean, as always, was trying to make things better, so he started talking about his day, and then asked Castiel about his.

‘’How do you think my day went, Dean?’’

‘’I mean… I don´t know, that´s exactly why I´m asking.’’

‘’Well, it was trash. I saw the bloody body of my mother in every corner of my mind the entire fucking day, but thank you for asking though, dumbass.’’

Dean frowned at the insult.

‘’Wow, ok, I´m sorry if your life isn´t perfect, but that´s not my fault and you know it, buddy, so don´t come at me like that, I was just trying to be nice and break the tension in here.’’

Castiel let go the cutlery abruptly and look at him furiously.

‘’If you were trying so hard to be nice, you would´ve started by not doing any of this shit in the first place, because this is no special, nor happy day to me, and you fucking know that!’’

‘’Man, it´s been twelve years! You´ve got to stop tormenting yourself with what happened that day all the time! Do you really want to live your whole life like this? Depressed?’’

‘’Dean…’’ Sam tried to interrupt, but clearly failed when Castiel interrupted him instead.

‘’Are you fucking kidding me, Dean? Do you think I like living like this every damn day? I try so hard to get over it, you have no idea, but it´s impossible when the image of my fucking father physically abusing me, my brothers and my mother, comes to my mind and even haunts me in my fucking dreams all the time!’’

‘’Cas, I know what you´ve been through, but…’’ Dean tried talking softer this time, but that only made Castiel angrier.

‘’NO YOU FUCKING DON´T!’’ He screamed, punching the table and breaking his plate and his glass.

Everyone in the table jumped in surprise and concern. Again, Sam tried to calm things down, but he couldn´t.

‘’Your family was always perfect, your father wasn´t an asshole and your mother lived ‘til you were 20, she was with you through childhood, took care of you, you were able to go to the games with your dad and enjoy a family picnic, so don´t you dare say that you know what I´ve been through, because you absolutely don´t! I´ve been through hell and back and tried to recover millions of times from this, but I just can´t, and you don´t know what real pain is like.’’

Dean got angry as well. Castiel was treating him like he was some sort of perfect commercial guy, and he wasn´t.

‘’You think my life was always perfect? You don´t think my parents had some fights from time to time? You think I don´t know what it feels like losing someone you love, and that should be with you until you´re at least 40 years old? I´ve lost my mom at a pretty young age compared to other people, Castiel!’’

‘’I´ve lost her when I was 13 years old, Dean! And the stupid fights your parents had from ‘time to time’ are NOTHING compared to what I had to witness! Stop trying to minimize my problems with yours, you have no right!’’ At this point, both Dean and Castiel were yelling. Castiel took the already broken glass while he was speaking and threw it, making it break in thousands of little pieces all over the kitchen floor.

‘’You´re acting like an insane, just like your father!’’ Dean yelled. The room went silent.

Castiel´s expression changed from angry to hurt in a matter of seconds.

Sam was hugging Eileen tight, trying to protect her in case things got even more out of control.

Castiel´s blue eyes seemed to be even bluer when the tears started accumulating.

His fist loosened, dropping more small pieces of broken glass to the floor, along with a few drops of blood.

A tear came out of his left eye and rolled down his cheeks. He turned away and disappeared.

Sam and Eileen started cleaning up the mess without saying anything, while Dean was still there, trying to process what just happened.

After it was all clean again, the decorations in the garbage can, and the food in the fridge, Sam said ‘’Dude, you´re an actual asshole, you know that, right? I told you this whole thing was a bad idea. You should’ve known, Dean, you guys are best friends since you´re thirteen…  I really hope you go and apologize to him soon. Good night.’’

Sam gave him a disappointed look, and Eileen a pity one. They turned off the lights in their way to their bedroom, leaving just one on.

Dean dropped to the floor devastated, already crying. He couldn´t believe what just happened. After ten minutes of panicking, having no idea how to apologize for the monstrous thing he said, crying and sobbing, he decided to look out for Castiel. He needed to fix this right now. He had no idea if Cas was ever going to forgive him. He hoped he will at some point…

He knocked on Cas’s door, obviously not receiving an answer. After two minutes, he knocked again. Nothing. He sighed, and started talking.

‘’Look, Cas… There’s absolutely nothing I can do right now for you to forgive me, but… I just want you to hear me, please?’’ Dean waited for a response, or for Cas to open the door, but none of those things happened. ‘’Alright, I´ll just start talking from here… I hope you can hear me… I- I wasn’t thinking, man. I´m really, really sorry for what I´ve said, I´m an asshole… I honestly have no excuses, and even if I had, it´s not going to work anyways. I just want you to know that I´m so sorry, I mean it… I hope you can forgive me someday, I… I really don´t want to lose you. Not after all we´ve been through…’’ Dean sobbed, and waited for… Well, anything. A sob, a move, a word. But he couldn´t hear anything at all.

‘’Cas? Man, are you okay?’’

After waiting outside his door for five minutes, he decided to come in.

‘’Hey, dude, I´m coming in, okay? I´m… You´re worrying me…’’

Dean got into the room, only to find Castiel’s window wide open, and the curtain moving softly because of the breeze of the night.

‘’Cas!? Where are you?’’ He started looking everywhere, screaming his name desperately, but couldn´t find him.

Sam and Eileen got up, and asked Dean what was going on.

Dean, with tears in his eyes, and a heavy breath, turned around and looked at the couple.

‘’He´s- He´s gone. I found his window wide open, and I don´t know where he is.’’

[hyperionswrath--archived]

@vespersilvanus:

Vesper was floating in darkness, bobbing along weightless; useless limbs twitching every once in a while with each terrifying, momentary, drop back to consciousness. A muffled voice that became sharper and clearer at random kept pulling them back.

“You just hold on tight, let me do the fightin’...”it was enough get Vesper to open their eyes slightly and feel the quick pace that they were moving at. A flash of orange light and heat made them flinch- Voices screaming, flames roaring across swaying trees- their sight blurred again, getting sucked back into the nothingness.

“Almost there,” Eyes open again. They were supposed to be doing something but they were so tired, so lost, it was too hard to remember. It felt like they had jumped forward- missing a gap. The pace was so much faster now, the body underneath jostling them roughly through a sprint. A thin glimmer of light in the dark- the magic- the wall- the barrier…. Safety getting to safety- getting the kids to the Wall.

They were sliding, the rapid pace had stopped, and they had lost time again. Not knowing how much had passed- Vesper struggled to hold on to consciousness this time willing themselves to get their eyes to focus.

“Alri-, in-- you go.” The voice faded in and out but they could make out blond in the dark- there’s name- somewhere… only one Glaive with such bright hair….

Vespers head lolled when the car jolted forward, tires spinning and kicking up dirt and debris. They managed to hang on and stay awake. The numbness of drifting was lifting and bringing back all the pain; the injuries spread over most of their being.

Lifting their head was hard but do able, they tried to not look out the window; the world flying by as a blur. The first thing to come back to their mostly coherent mind  was the need to heal. Digging deep into their battered self, resulted in only a faint green sparkle that faded out just as quickly as it had formed in their open palm. They sighed with defeat- too low on mana to heal themselves.

The car hit something- rocking it violently to the side; the sudden motion throwing them into a memory of snarling jaws aimed at their face. The abrupt hurt of their head hitting the window snapping them back to reality.

Leaning away and groaning, Vesper slowly shook their head. There was a dash of colour as the vehicles headlight flashed across the distance; brief but they recognized the daemon well. “Mmm…” Vesper grunted their voice gravelly, but croaked out a warning anyway. “Spider bitch- 2 o’clock.” Hopefully loud enough for the driver to hear.

They pulled down the fitted fabric from their mouth, coughing to clear the last of the fluid choking their lungs. It was gross, tasting of blood and mucus- they spat the clots onto the floor not caring if the other was disgusted by it. Vesper could finally breathe clearly and was cogent enough to acknowledge where they were through the lingering headache and pain; leaning back in the seat they were determined to try and stay awake.

Getting the other Glaive out of the proximity of those beasts was the first objective, healing them up would come after - so Seifer had decided, especially when he had noticed the tall fucker of an iron giant materializing much too close for comfort. He gave a grunt when he slid behind the wheel and kept an eye on the general direction where he had seen the creature appear through the rearview mirror, glad to have noticed that Ves seemed to come to - a little, at least.

Better than being out cold all the time. He’d prefer them to be screaming from pain than to not give any sign of consciousness at all.

So Seifer floored it, intending to bring as much distance between them and this damned place as fast as possible. His eyes darted over to the other Glaive every so often, checking if they lost consciousness again or if anything seemed to take a turn for the worst. “Stay with me, Ves…” he admonished when he saw the other lean against the window - just in that moment looking to them when the car hit a rock and made them jump a little, causing the other to bump their head.

“Shit, sorry.” Clenching his teeth, Seifer steered them out of the grassy area and onto the gravel path which would soon bring them back on the road and hopefully allow for a quick way back. Apparently the little rumbling had helped in such a way that Vesper was alert enough to warn him about another Daemon, the choice of words having the tall blond chuckle.

“Roger that,” he hummed, spinning the wheel enough so they would make a wide detour around the beast. From the corner of his eye he could see Ves spit something on the floor and he had to force himself to focus back on the way ahead, since the display of the other’s lower face was, as much as he could recall, something new.

“You holdin’ up alright?”, he asked, his right hand reaching out to clasp their shoulder, “...don’t use magic, you’re fine for now. I’ll apply a proper healing spell once we get a breather.”

With his gaze darkening, Seifer realized that it would have been likely that Ves would have died that night, had he not taken action. Grinding his teeth, he felt the old frustration well up inside of him. They were all just pawns on the battlefield… and still they complained all the time how low their numbers had become. Ridiculous.

Muttering a curse under his breath, Seifer only relaxed a little when they reached the road again. “I’ll take us to a motel, Crown City’s too far with your injuries. You good with that?”, he inquired, mostly to keep the other one attentive and engaged, not so much because he planned on giving them a choice.

Thus, he drove them to Hammerhead as fast as he dared, pulling into the parking lot without much care to halt the car neatly. Pushing out of the driver’s seat, Seifer then rounded the vehicle in a jog and pulled the passenger side’s door open, ducking inside to get a better look.

“Can you walk?”

[miraclealignersv]

Loved (Buck Compton x Reader)

Ask: “ You made me feel loved and wanted and for that, I’ll always love you.” With buck pleaseee

a/n: once again I suck at titles, anyway thank you for your request I hope you enjoy!

Tag list: @gottapenny @bandofmarvels @wexhappyxfew @medievalfangirl  @starryrevelations

If there was anything that y/n missed more than anything, it was Buck’s arms wrapped around her. After Bastogne happened, not only did she lose many of her friends, but she also happened to lose Buck in the process. The remainder of the war was only filled with fear and bloodshed, but it was filled with the sadness that Buck Compton was not there with her. Of course she was happy that he was back in the States, safe and sound, however her heart broke every time she received a letter from him.

However, after VE day had been announced, y/n had gotten her hopes up that maybe she would go home and look for Buck. The thought about wrapping her arms around him again made her heart flutter, it had been months since she had last seen him and kissed him. It only made her wish that the war would come to an end faster. All the boy’s knew that there was something between her and Buck, they always teased them for being so secretive about it. Especially George Luz, he would pop out of nowhere to tease them about hand-holding and making out like a pair of teenagers in the middle of the war. 

“What are you doing when you get home y/n?’’ the question asked by none other than Bull who sat across from her on the sunny field, y/n squinted her eyes and picked at the grass under her. She had thought of that question thousands of times, even before she had jumped on D-day. She sighed deeply and felt the eyes of the other boys, Babe, Tab, Lieb, Luz, and Web on her. 

“Oh come on, we all know she’s going straight to Buck Compton’’ Luz teased making y/n blush and look down at the grass, a small smile on her face as the rest of the boys continued to tease. Babe patting her shoulder as she sheepily shook her head.

“In an ideal world, yes. But it all depends’’ she shrugged, the boys around her only laughed and continued on with the conversation. Y/n biting her lip as she thought about her homecoming, what she would really do when she got to the states. Hell the first thing she could think of was sleep, and then after that she would go out looking for Lynn herself. The first thing she thought of doing would be to kiss his perfect face and hold him so tight he would never leave her side again. Just thinking about it, a small smile crept onto her face. She couldn't wait to finally be with him again.

*

Months after VE Day, y/n had gotten used to life without war. Knowing that perhaps she, along with some of the other boys, would be sent off to the pacific and continue made her hopes to see Buck again slowly start to fade. In the time after VE day, she had only received two of them, both short but reassuring. It only made her heart hurt more, the thought about him finding someone back home made her heart ache. But it was all that ran through her mind, the thought that he wouldn't wait for her.

Early in the morning y/n walked out of the house she had been staying in with a sack of peaches in her arms, she whistled a low tune as she took in the warm sunlight that danced on her skin. A small smile on her face as she closed the door of the small house behind her, her main objective was to get the sack of peaches to Babe. After losing a bet to him, it only seemed fair to repay him with the fruit. Distracted by the birds and the view of the gorgeous lake near the small house she didn't notice the jeep parked near the small pathway. 

Her focus shifting towards the cleaning of someone's throat, at first noticing the jeep and then seeing an all too familiar face. A small gasp leaving her mouth as she saw the ever so smug Lynn Compton leaning against the vehicle with his arms crossed over his chest. Y/n blinked rapidly as the tears welled in her eyes. She couldn't believe it, no, it wasn't real. But the second their eyes met, it seemed as if the world around them slowed. The chirps of the bird up above in the trees had stopped singing, the morning wind coming to a full stop. 

“No,” she whispered, more to herself than anything. “This isn't real.” she shook her head, still not breaking eye contact with him. Buck’s eyebrows rose in question, a small smile on his lips before tugging into a smirk.

“Oh it's real alright” the second he spoke y/n gasped and dropped the sack of peaches, and without thinking about it twice, she sprinted towards him. Her eyes filled with tears, blurring the image of him smiling widely. His arms wide open for her, and gladly she jumped into them. Wrapping her arms around his neck as she held him close, her tears streaming down her face as she took in everything at that moment. His warmth, his scent, his touch- everything. Closing her eyes she grabbed onto him harder, never wanting the moment to end. “Baby, I missed you too..but I can't breathe’’ a low chuckle came from him, pulling away from him she looked into the blue eyes she missed so much and shook her head.

“You're here,’’ she whispered in disbelief as she leaned towards him, stepping on the tips of her toes and pressed a kiss on his lips. He laughed, taken aback by the sudden action but in the end, his hand found her waist and gave into the kiss. y/n closing her eyes tight, embracing every second as if she was going to lose him again. Until the sudden realization hit her while their lips moved together perfectly, her eyes fluttered open as she pulled away. “Wait, you're here! Lynn, you're her- why- why are you here?” 

Buck laughed and shook his head, y/n furrowing her brows still confused as to why the man she loved so much was there with her at that moment. His laugh came to a stop and instead he reached for her hand, “I’m taking you home with me’’ he shrugged, as her mouth opened to speak again, he instead did so. “Japan surrendered earlier, wars over’’ he finished with a smile making y/n chuckle. 

“It's over?’’ she asked in disbelief, her eyes again filling with tears of happiness. Buck only gave her a firm nod, confirming that in fact the war was over. “I’m going home.” a smile spread onto her lips as she laced her fingers with his. Buck watched her in adoration as she went through a million emotions in front of him. He couldn't believe that he had gone so long without her, without her by his side. And he couldn't imagine losing her again, his heart aching just at the thought of it. He watched as she looked around, trying to hold the tears back as she rambled on about her plans. Her plans consisting of sleeping and eating a nice steak from the dinner she loved so much, Buck focusing on how much she loved her. 

“-and we’ll get a dog maybe? Do you like dogs?” she looked over at Buck who sighed deeply and shook his head. “We can get a cat if you want, I just-’’

“Marry me,’’ y/n froze at the sudden words that left the mouth of her lover, he took her hand in his again and played with her fingers as he thought of what else to say to the already shocked woman in front of him. “y/n you made me feel loved and wanted, and for that I’ll always love you. We’ve been through hell and back together, and somehow y/n, we find our ways back to each other. I love you more than anything in the world, and I’ve been sure about that since the day I laid eyes on you so please, marry me” Buck swallowed hard, his eyes glassed over never leaving y/n’s as she took her bottom lip in between her teeth. 

“Ask me..” she whispered, his eyes darting over her face looking for some kind of emotion.

Buck only scooted forward and got down on one knee. Her hand still in his, never breaking eye contact as he positioned himself. “Will you marry me?’’ y/n swallowed hard and blinked various times to fight back the tears accumulated in her eyes. 

She bit her lip, slowly nodding as Buck waited in anticipation, “yes.”

[meenasmoon]

Deja Brew Part 1: Unbeanownst

8:54:16

Johnny's alarm rang through the darkness of his bedroom, piercing the early morning silence with its obnoxious cacophony, effectively jolting him out of a dream that faded from his memory before he could even think to try to remember it. He groaned in protest as he slapped uselessly at the alarm until fate intervened and his hand managed to hit the button that cut off the noise. With his ears still ringing and his brain foggy from a lack of sleep Johnny Bannerton practically rolled out of bed, leaving his sheets in disarray as he shuffled down the hall to his bathroom. A splash of cool water to the face and suddenly his big brown eyes were wide open and staring at the mess that was his bedhead in combination with the beginnings of five o'clock shadow his developing dark circles under his eyes. Johnny let out a tired little huff and practically jumped into the shower, not even bothering to let the water warm up. He gave a little shudder at the cold water but ignored the temperature in favor of slathering his hair in shampoo. He closed his eyes quickly when the water hit his soapy locks, washing the soap out towards his eyes. As soon as he was clean, he shut off the flow of water and began toweling off. Johnny examined himself in the mirror for a second before deciding that speed took precedence over shaving properly and bustled into his room to throw on a t-shirt and his work jeans. One glance at his offending clock and the beginnings of sunlight in the sky had him scrambling for the door and sliding down the ladder from his loft down into his father's autobody shop. He picked his way through the parts and tools scattered around the shop and shook his head at the mess of beer cans, fish and chips, and poker chips that were the remnants of his father and uncles' poker night. One look in the fridge was all he needed to decide to grab a snack at work as it was filled with beer and old pizza. Johnny made his way through the shop once more to where his truck was waiting outside. He pulled on his old black leather jacket and jumped into the truck. The old girl rumbled to life with only a slight protest and soon he was speeding through the streets to the center of town where a quaint little coffee shop was nestled between a boutique and an old office building. Johnny slid into his customary parking space and trudged into the store, his body seemingly more uncooperative with each workday leading up to his day off. As he walked through the back foot he was greeted by the cheery pop music that meant Rosita was already here. He yawned as he walked into the front of the store and was met with giggles in response. When he had finished his yawn and was finally able to take in the half set up coffee shop, he was also met with an indulgent smile from his pseudo-mom and boss Rosita. She was a short woman with ample mom curves and short blonde hair that was a sunny as her disposition. Wordlessly she turned to the espresso machine as Johnny she’s his jacket and slipped on his apron  and nametag. By the time he was actually ready to start his shift, Rosita has made him the largest latte they serve and handed it to him with a sympathetic look. “I know it’s early honey. But let’s get to work.” She cheerily patted his shoulder and inwardly Johnny marveled at her ability to smile at this early hour. Deciding to suck it up for the woman who had given him a second job and was the most understanding and motherly figure in his life, Johnny forced out a smile. “Sure thing Rosita. Ah’ll set up the seat in’ area.” He croaked our a little hoarsely before finding his smooth voice under the lingering sleepiness. “Super!” She chirped in response and practically skipped to the back of the store as Johnny took a large gulp out of his cup of sweet salvation. “S’gonna be a long day.” He mumbled to himself and got to work taking down the chairs.

6:24:07

The doors to the coffee shop opened at exactly 7:30 am and when Johnny came from the back of the shop at 7:25 and saw the short white haired man in a pinstriped suit standing impatiently outside the door, chewing someone out on his cell phone, he knew it was gonna be one of those days again. He was aimlessly wiping the counter waiting for the clock to change when the knocking on the glass started. Johnny reluctantly looked up at the man who was glaring at him through the glass of the doors as he demonstratively rapped on the glass and gestured to his expensive wristwatch. Johnny quickly looked away and wiped the counter with more vigor, focusing on the counter like it was the only thing in the universe. His background of calm cafe music that Rosita usually played was punctuated by increasingly annoyed sounds from the front doors which escalated from tapping to yanking on the handles of the door as if they would magically open with some force. Johnny’s dread grew as the minutes ticked by until it was finally 7:30 and he slowly made his way through the maze of chairs and table to his worst nightmare in customer form. As soon as the door was unlocked, the personification of impatience shoved his way into the coffee shop and immediately began ranting about how late he was for work, how important he was, and how Rosita would hear about Johnny’s behavior. Johnny just let out a long-suffering sigh and followed the man over to the counter where he was once again tapping his foot impatiently. Before Johnny could even open his mouth to ask the man what he would like to order he was snapping out his demands. “Black coffee. Large. And let’s be snappy about eh kid?” He smirked at Johnny’s frustrated look as he rang in the order. “Of course sir, That’ll be $2.45. Will you be paying with-“ He started rattling off in his customer service voice, desperately trying to remain polite in the face of douchebaggery. “Cash kid.” He triumphantly slapped down the exact total in change and Johnny’s mood absolutely plummeted. He grumpily snatched up the money, cashed him out and then went about making his black coffee. All the while he could hear the man in the background barking orders into his phone or clacking away at the keys of his Blackberry. No matter how hard he tried to drown it out with the coffee machines and jazz, somehow the man broke through. Finally, his coffee was done and Johnny was handing it over, every fiber of his being anticipating the moment this man walked out of his life, hopefully forever. But then the unthinkable happened. He just stood there…sipping the coffee…and jabbering away. Johnny stared at him in awe and slowly leaned back against the counter, his exhaustion taking him over again. All he could think was that he would pay money to disappear into the ether at that moment. And they had only just opened.

4:44:12

As their morning rush finally got into the swing of things and the other employees started to arrive, the stress of the early morning was starting to wear away and Johnny was getting into a groove with the espresso machine where he didn’t have to interact with customers but rather take comfort in the machine and save his charm for his turn on the cash register. When the time finally came for him to switch he found himself next to Rosita who was happily manning the other register, chatting with each customer and giving them her signature twinkling smile. Ultimately it made him feel bad for his customer-smile and customer-voice but his awkward charm and good looks seemed to be gaining him points with the women in line. He had just finished an order from yet another soccer mom in yoga pants and a visor when a ball of glitter and sheer energy hit his register like a comet coming in for a landing. He had to blink a few times before he could discern that it was actually a man in a gold sequin jumpsuit with a long blonde ponytail and a smile so enthusiastic that even Rosita flinched a little. Johnny knew he was in trouble the moment he looked over to Rosita and saw that she was avoiding his eye contact as well as that of his customer. Rosita, the ultimate bubbly people person, did not avoid someone unless it was serious. With a shaky smile Johnny turned back to the man and started his lines, or rather tried to, “Hello, What can I-“ “Ya! hello! I haffe seen you here before but ve neffer get to chat. I teach Zumba down zee street und I loffe zis coffee. It giffes me zee zing in mein step nein? Nein other coffee place can compete vith zis one. Did you know zat Rozita comes to mein clazes so she giffes me ein discount on coffee? She is such ein sveetheart. Ein saint. One time she-“ The man rambled off with such speed and such a thick German accent that Johnny found himself scrambling to follow, and it was only a couple seconds into a story about Rosita dancing in a sparkly unitard that he realized that their line was growing and he still had yet to take this man’s order. “That’s nice sir. Would you like to place an order?” He grabbed a coffee cup, ready to write down the order as it flowed from the mouth that moved a mile a minute, but once again he was swept up in a tirade that seemed inescapable at this point. “Ja ja zat sounds goot. Can I get ein uh… Caramel macchiato. Light ice. Not heaffy. If it’s heaffy I can’t drink it. Und do me ein favor. Tell zem to put ein little bit of soy in it. Not ein lot, just enough for me to taste it und go… oh, boy! Three whips. Take zat third whip tozee top of zee lip so I can take ein sip. You got it?” The man stopped and looked expectantly up at Johnny who just gaped back at him, the coffee held loosely in his hand, marker at the ready, and smoke pouring out of his ears from his overworked brain. “So…a caramel macchiato?” Johnny asked in a small voice.

2:39:41

It took about fifteen minutes in the break room and a couple hours working the drinks rather than the counter for Johnny to recover from the debacle that was now known as the Caramel Macchiato Disaster. He was calling drink orders when he noticed a neglected looking tea still sitting in the window waiting to be claimed. He remembered the girl who had ordered it: a small, mousy girl with messy blonde hair and large glasses. She had been fumbling with a messenger bag full of notes and a laptop when she ordered and was still sitting in the corner of the shop typing furiously on her laptop. Johnny grabbed her tea, remade her a new one as her original had gone cold in her forgetfulness, and headed over to where she was stationed. The rush had lulled substantially so he was confident that the drink-making station wouldn’t fall apart without his help. As he walked towards the girl, Johnny found himself musing how pretty she looked in a bookish sort of way and for a moment he wondered if she might have any interest in him. Though his timer had yet to go off, he still found dating women and showing them a good time in the meantime pleasurable. When he finally reached her table, Johnny cleared his throat and put on his best charming smile. She looked up from her work with a startled look plastered on her face and Johnny proceeded to place her drink on her table next to her work. “I think ya fergot about summit.” He smiled charmingly and though she gave him a grateful look and a quiet acknowledgement, there wasn’t even a hint of a spark. Sensing the lack of mutual attraction between the two of them, Johnny nodded and turned back to his station, completely missing the grateful look on the girl’s face or the slight smile as she sipped her tea. While he may be a serial dater at times, his mother had raised him right. Johnny was a gentleman that knew a no when he saw or heard one.

1:54:53

The bell above the door tinkled just before the lunch rush began and Johnny quickly assumed the position at the register, abandoning his cleaning routine. What he saw made him quirk an eyebrow in interest but did nothing to smother the welcoming smile on his face. The woman that had walked into the coffee shop was wearing dark eye makeup, had white and brown striped dreads and was dressed in full punk rocker gear. She was clutching a pile of fliers in her arms and as soon as she spotted him she made a beeline for the counter in a prowl that made a part of Johnny cower slightly. “Hi. Can I get summit for ya today?” Johnny asked but the girl just blew a large bubble of gum in response. For what seemed like an eternity he awkwardly watched the bubble grow until it nearly covered her face. Without warning it popped and any trace of gum disappeared into the girl’s mouth. “Yeah sure Pretty Boy. I’m having a show at the theatre this week and I’m goin’ around passing out fliers.” She finally spoke in a bored tone that somehow only served to make her more interesting. “Sure. I can pass out some fliers or ya can put one up on the bulletin board.” Johnny gestured to their colorful notice board on the other side of the restaurant, which was absolutely plastered in fliers, ads, and public notices. The woman looked at him with a new sparkle of respect in her dark eyes as she headed over to the bulletin board, her boots clunking on the tile and echoing through the near empty cafe. Johnny watched her go for a second and considered following her to strike up a conversation or learn more about her show but, as if sensing his thoughts, she turned back and gave him a glare that clearly demanded her leave her to her business and wipe any romantic thoughts from his head. At the same time, his stomach did a strange little flip and any attraction that he may have felt for the women in the shop seemed somehow wrong. Shaking it off as hunger for his lunch break, Johnny shook his head and resumed cleaning the espresso machine for the rush.

0:00:00

By the time he finally got to take his break, Johnny was exhausted and badly in need of another dose of caffeine. He made himself another coffee in the biggest size they had, grabbed a muffin and sat down in the corner of the cafe where he had a perfect view of the counter in case he was needed. He was munching on the fairly generic muffins that they ordered from a company, his headphones blasting John Legend, when he saw Rosita bouncing around the corner, followed by a nervous looking girl. She looked up from across the room and somehow her blue eyes found his for just a few seconds. Johnny felt his mind simultaneously stop and light up with action as he took her in. She was tall, almost as tall as him, with rich mocha skin, curly hair and the biggest blue eyes he had ever seen in the world. He felt a distinct tingling on his wrist and he rubbed his tanned skin in annoyance in an attempt to quell the feeling and focus back in on the woman that made him feel confusing new feelings. He found himself unable to keep his gaze away from her, no matter how many times he tried to turn it back to his phone or his music. Finally, in frustration with himself he gathered up his things and went over to the counter to say hello. She was lingering there with Rosita as the small woman chattered to no one in particular about her ideas for fresh pastries. The girl glanced up right as he approached, her eyes softening and her cheeks reddening in a way that made his mouth go dry in the weirdest way. On top of that, he suddenly felt like he was going to see that muffin again as his stomach rolled and his stupid wrist practically burned with an insistent itch. He opened his mouth to say something, determined to work past the funny things her shy smile did to his stomach, when a shrill voice echoed out from behind him.                                                

-0:05:27

"Hey there cutie-pie why don't you take my order?" he normally would have considered her voice sweet, but suddenly it was too high pitched, and her attractive features seemed off, not exactly right. Nonetheless he gave the new girl an apologetic look before turning his charming smile on the girl. She was leaning over the counter in a way that made her cleavage nearly pop out of her tank top and she was fluttering her eyelashes so much that if he didn't know she was flirting he would think she was having a stroke. "Sure, what can I get fer ya?" he asked, trying desperately not to glance back at where he knew Rosita and the new girl were chatting about baked goods. "Oh don't be so formal honey. I'll have a skinny latte, as big as you can make it." She winked laciviously at him and licked her lips in what was supposed to be an enticing way. Increasingly uncomfortable with how this interaction was going, Johnny tried to maintain his smile and quickly wrote down her order on the cup and charged it. As she was handing him her credit card she purposefully brushed her hand against his, smirking at him as she did. Johnny's smile wavered slightly and he sped through finishing up her order and shifted to the espresso machine in hopes that it would rid him of the uncomfortable advances of the woman. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he looked up over the machine and found himself face to face with the woman who was scanning him up and down like he was a piece of meat. Johnny quickly looked down and speedily finished up her drink, taking a moment to glance at the clock to see if it was 2:30 yet, his stomach sinking when he found that it was just barely 2:00. Once he finished her drink he realized that he didn't even know her name for the drink. He frowned and looked around the dining room until he spotted her, leaning casually up against the wall playing on her phone and twirling her hair with one finger. Reluctantly he stepped out from behind the counter, berating himself the entire way for forgetting to ask her name and putting himself in yet another uncomfortable social situation with this woman. He cleared his throat awkwardly and shifted from one foot to another. "Um excuse me? Miss. I'm sorry I forgot yer name but... anyways yer latte is ready." He mumbled slightly and smiled reflexively when she looked up with a huge grin. "Oooo. Well aren't you sweet for bringing this over to little old me." She took the coffee from his hand and pulled out a sparkly business card from her purse. She leaned forward and tucked it into the pocket of his apron with a seductive smirk. "Here's my number cutie. My timer still has like a year on it but I'll be your soulmate for a night." She pecked him on the cheek, leaving a sticky lip gloss mark on his cheek before sauntering out the door. As soon as she was out of sight Johnny wiped her lip gloss off his cheek and went back behind he counter to wait out the remainder of his shift.

-8:06:35

Johnny collapsed with a prolonged groan that echoed through his darkened bedroom much like his alarm clock had that morning. He rolled over just enough to glare at the offending clock but it just glared right back, taunting him with its proclamation of the late hour. He had spent the rest of his day struggling with an old clunker of a Jeep that absolutely refused to be fixed and it wasn't until his father pulled him out from under the car, forced some food down his throat and then ushered him up to bed did h officially give up. And now he was still in the same position he had been for the past half hour, his mind fighting sleep as it tried to puzzle out whatever had been bugging him the entire day. Maybe it was the fact that he had literally worked from sun-up to sun-down, but he could not get to sleep. It felt like he was missing something, like he had forgotten something important. His wrist tingled and he itched at it insistently while he puzzled over what he could have possibly forgotten. He had his phone, his car was parked and locked outside of the garage, he had eaten, he had checked- Suddenly his stomach sank to his toes and he shakily rose his wrist so that he could look at it. There, printed on his wrist, just like every other person on the face of the planet was a timer. A timer that told him the exact moment, down to the second, when he would meet his soulmate, the person he was destined to love and be with for the rest of his life. And his timer, the one he had been watching for every single day of his life, on the one day he had been to busy to look at it, had hit 0. "Shite"

[mind-writing0]

~Chapter 6~

Hey! I have a sarahah! Feel free to check it out here and leave a comment! For readers that may be a little shy, it’s anonymous!!

"So, let me see..." the man examining Virgil's forms said. He had called shortly after Virgil was chosen, and came in the next morning. The black-haired boy would have today to fill out some forms, go over rules, and say goodbyes. Then, tomorrow, he'd be whisked off to the palace rather he liked it or not. "You appear to be getting a fair amount of nutrients...you could use certain vitamins we'd provide at the castle. And you said here that you have some trouble getting to sleep?" He looked up at Virgil, and the boy nodded timidly. "Would you like some sleeping tablets?" 

"O-oh, no, that's—" 

Virgil's mom stepped on his foot under the table. "Anything they offer. Take it." She reminded him in a murmur. 

Sure, I'd love some crack cocaine, Virgil thought sarcastically. The kinds of advice Virgil's mother gave him were equal amounts odd and dangerous, and eventually, they'd get him killed if he wasn't careful. He almost felt dead already, what with the shock of being chosen and the lingering feelings for Dan. He felt like his heart was being sucked out by a vacuum cleaner. 

"I'll take some." Virgil smiled tensely. 

"Great," the man, Jared, as his name tag read, said. "And this next part is a bit of my paperwork... and, I'm sorry, sweetie," he turned to Valerie, "I'm going to have to ask you to leave." 

She looked hurt for a second, as a moment before she had a million questions to ask, but she didn't want to cause a scene. 

"Why does she have to leave?" Virgil asked, his tone fierce and dark. He had worried before that she would embarrass him, but after seeing how heartbroken she was, he felt like she should be allowed to stay. 

"The topic is a little... inappropriate for someone so young." Jared looked uncomfortable. Valerie nodded and got up, pushing in her chair politely before going into her bedroom to listen against the door. "

Right," the man continued, his red hair seeming to stick up more the more his face grew red. "It wasn't clarified here on these papers, but I need to ask you in person if you are, indeed, a virgin." 

Virgil's heart stopped while he heard his mother take in an audible breath. "Of course I am," he tried not to make his voice shake with the weight of these words, "I'm not an idiot. I know the law." In Ailean law, it was illegal to have sex before marriage. If there was a teen pregnancy, the woman and the male were arrested. It was easier for same-sex couples to keep it a secret if they chose to do so, but most didn't want to risk it. In all honesty, Virgil and Dan had some pretty close calls, but they couldn't have added to the weight that was their heavy relationship. 

"Okay," Jared clicked his tongue as if it could take the tension from the room. He looked at Virgil, seriousness in his tone. "You should know that as of today you are property of Ailea and Prince Roman. It would not be wise to say no to him. Dates, kisses, more than kisses...it would not be wise to reject any of those." 

Virgil nearly screamed. His eyes widened, heart quickening. He couldn't believe his ears. "Are you telling me," he muttered dangerously, "that I am being sent to the palace to be...to be Roman's toy? To be his property?" 

The worker looked immediately uncomfortable once again. "I should not have worded it that way, it was just the advice from the papers. I'm sure the prince is even better than your impression of him." He smiled politely. Virgil returned the gesture, but he felt uneasy in his stomach. 

Jared packed his papers into a neat little binder that was held like a briefcase. "The guards will be here to take you to the airport around nine AM, and you'll hopefully be at the palace by late afternoon." 

"Great," Virgil replied, though he felt anything but. 

"And, one more thing." Jared added, "It would be really hard going through the Selection and coming back as a Five, what with all the paparazzi. You will now be a Three." 

Virgil gasped, "A Three?" Of all the things that ran his life, castes were most important. He wasn't a caste climber in the slightest, as he had prepared himself for the past two years for life as a Six. Even still, a Three was a major upgrade. Maybe after he got kicked out of the Selection for eating too much, Virgil could find a way to buy Valerie out of being a Five and they could leave their mother in the dust. "Thank you, sir." 

"You're welcome, Sir Virgil." He bowed a little, showing his palace training, and made his way out of the tiny Singer house. 

"Wow," Virgil's mom said simply, "so...you think it was such a bad idea now?" 

"Yes," Virgil replied, "this all seems shady, didn't you hear? Roman could just...use me, then toss me out." 

"Yeah," Virgil's mother replied, stumbling into the kitchen to fix up a sandwich for lunch. It painfully reminded her son of how he had made sandwiches for Dan, and he looked away. "Men are like that sometimes. But at least you're getting paid. And hey," she looked up at him seriously, "if he ever tries to get uncomfortably touchy with you, remember what I told you." 

"Kick him in...you know?" Virgil mumbled, more uncomfortable with having this conversation than the idea of the Prince doing something like that. 

"That's right," his mom said, "you should stay in as long as possible, but try not to get yourself screwed over while you're there." 

Virgil nodded numbly. He wasn't even sure how to feel at the moment. Just then, there was a knock on the door. Virgil rolled his eyes, expecting another castle worker or local who wanted a picture. However, when he went over and hesitantly opened the door, Dan was standing there helplessly. 

"Dan," Virgil choked out, the word just flowing out of him as he was all he was thinking about since Monday night. 

"Mom said I have to help you pack," Dan looked up at him, and as if he'd trained his face, his eyes looked cold. "Because that's what Sixes do. She says congrats." 

"Th....thanks...." Virgil said weakly, inviting him in. They went to Virgil's room and shut the door. "I'm not packing much," he added, quite as a mouse. "They said everything I needed would be at the palace, so I really don't need help." 

"Okay," Dan said carefully, going over to the mirror where a few pictures were taped. "You'll want to take some pictures of your family, I'm sure, so you don't forget what they look like." He said it with just a hint of bitterness, and his nimble fingers traced down to a small ripped corner of a paper. "I'll always love you, Ve. Now and forever." It read. Dan ripped it off, leaving a scrap of tape. "That was a real risk, leaving my note up there." He added, his voice as quiet as it was venomous. He wasn't himself, and he still wasn't looking at Virgil. 

"It was all I had left of you." Virgil's voice was heavy, "Please, let me keep it." 

Dan paused, the hard look in his eyes fading. "I don't want you hanging on to me, Virgil. There are so many better opportunities." 

"I'm sick of hearing about opportunities!" Virgil cried, taking all his strength to keep quiet when he felt like screaming. "I'm not looking to caste climb, I want you, Dan!" 

Dan still was barely looking Virgil in the eye, which killed the black-haired boy, though he supposed it'd be worse if he did. "I need to go. I hope you win the prince's heart." 

"Wait," Virgil choked out, "I forgot to pay you." As Dan was a helping Six, the polite thing to do was give him a tip. Virgil took his jar full of pennies—each penny given by Dan when he sang him a song—and poured them all out into Dan's unsuspecting hands. "Keep them, all of them. You know you need every last penny you can get." 

Dan glanced up at Virgil quickly, his hurt and lost look one Virgil could never forget. He clutched the pennies like a lifeline, and then he left. 

Virgil finally let it out, still as quiet as could be. It was a sigh, a scream, a sob. He was having a panic attack of some kind, but he would have to go through it alone. 

One single penny was found inside Virgil's pitiful little jar, and it made a tiny jingling noise as he packed it into his bag. 

"Me too," he whispered to that solemn penny, then he chided himself for talking to a penny. He found the note crumpled up on his dusty wooden floor, and he put that in the jar as well. 

It was all he had left of Dan. 

All he had left of the past two years in the treehouse, trying to reject but secretly enjoying Dan's payment. 

Virgil shook his head and wiped his eyes before anyone could see, and he continued packing. 

He really needed to get it together by the flight tomorrow.

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@thatsthat24

[hazkiwislutt]

{prologue: chasing love series}

{ hi friends, it’s athena and this is the prologue to a series i’m writing. basically, it has a famous female character who is younger than Harry, but it’s set a few years in the future, like... Harry is going to be 29 and the mc is going to be 21 when they first meet (pls don’t shoot me) so that it fits in with some of the plot. i hope you like it, because if i do it right, this story is supposed to pull on all sorts of heartstrings and throw a bunch of curveballs at you! }

She was only twenty-one when they’d first met, old enough so that he didn’t feel bad taking a liking to her, but young enough that people would talk and make him feel bad about taking a liking to her. He’d met her at a party that Niall had thrown, and he hadn’t wanted to go, but he was a people-pleaser, and so that’s where he’d found himself that one Saturday night after he’d gotten off the plane from Japan. He’d arrived, and Niall had instantly whisked him away to the kitchen because he was just “dying fo’ yeh t’meet someone tha’ yeh’d like.” 

Niall had nudged the kitchen door open, and to Harry’s surprise, she was standing over the sink, back facing toward him and Niall, chugging a bottle of Belvedere as if it were ice water at three in the morning on a Wednesday night after a really intense sleep. She finished it cleanly, not stopping even once as she demolished the bottle, and Harry grimaced, wondering how long it would be until the alcohol hit her like a freight train.

She was wearing a pair of CareBear pajama pants that flopped over her bare feat and a faded university sweatshirt that had an insane amount of holes littered across its expansion.  

“I asked you to bring something stronger, not someone. I’ve gotta be absolutely blackout drunk if I’m gonna get through tonight, Niall.” She hadn’t turned around, and the sound of her voice acknowledging their presences startled Harry. 

“Yeh not actually hung up on this bloke, are yeh? Yeh don’ need him!” Niall’s eyes widened and he lunged forward to seize her shoulders, spinning her to face him, to which she reacted with a bored shrug. 

As he gazed at her side profile, Harry realized he knew this girl. She was relatively new on the music scene, but one big hit a year ago skyrocketed her to fame. Harry could admit he’d watched her in multiple interviews (and was also able to admit that she seemed intelligent, funny, and terribly captivating) and listened to a few of her songs (which were all crafted beautifully, and he even kept two of them on his shower playlist). He’d learned she was studying at a university when she’d released her song, and that her favorite juice was cranberry, and that she loved reptiles more than animals with fur, but he couldn’t for the life of him remember her name.  

“I don’t know, Ni. It’s not like I want to be hung up on him, anyway, but the heart does weird shit. Anyways, what’s a girl gotta do to get some stronger liquor from her incredibly dashing Irish friend?” She put up her hands in a duo of finger guns, shaking them at Niall and grinning madly. Her smile was pretty, Harry decided. 

“Hate t’be tha’ guy, but yeh not gettin’ anything from me. Yeh had enough to knock yeh into next week. Enough of tha’ now, this is my mate.” Niall gestured to Harry, raising his eyebrow to prompt him to introduce himself. 

“M’Harry. S’nice to meet yeh.” He stepped out and outstretched his hand to shake hers, and nearly grunted in surprise as she grasped his and shook it tighter than he’d expected. 

“Y/N.” She returned simply, but warmly with a large smile. Harry didn’t miss the way she was staring at his eyes with an intensely measured gaze. He was impressed and a bit put off by her unabashed confidence in doing so, having always been the person that did the speculating when meeting someone new, and it was both interesting and refreshing to meet someone that delivered the same energy. 

“M’gonna go check on the other guests, but yeh better swear t’me tha’ yeh not gonna leave or do anythin’ stupid,” Niall scolded her with a stern eye, “an’ I mean really, Y/N. Seriously. Wanted Harry t’meet yeh ‘cause I remember yeh said yeh like him, an’ maybe it’d do yeh good t’make new friends.” He slipped out of the kitchen once more, leaving Harry alone with this new girl and her CareBear pajamas. 

“I’d say yeh’ve got a nice grip, but s’a hell of a lot more than tha’, innit? Felt like Donald Trump himself was trying t’rip my arm off.” Harry grinned as he heard her erupt in loud giggles as she hopped up onto the counter alongside the bottle that had long been empty, swinging her feet gently against the cabinets beneath her. He decided her laugh was pretty, too, and it was one of the nicest laughs he’d ever heard in his life, and that he’d love to make her laugh all the time if that was his reward.

“That was a good one,” she hummed thoughtfully, “Sorry, though, if I actually hurt your hand. I was thinking really hard, like, should I gently shake your hand or what? ‘Cause you seem like a firm grip with a gentle twist kind of guy, and my brain couldn’t decide, so I just squeezed.” 

“S’just a handshake, not a blood oath, love.” Harry smirked and she released another round of soft giggles before she quieted down completely. Before Harry could panic about an awkward lull in conversation and scramble for a topic of discussion, she reached out for his shoulder and grasped it.

“Hey, I’m sorry, but I’m about to be really fucking buzzed soon. I probably looked insane downing that entire bottle, so I’m apologizing now for the things I’ll inevitably do or say.” She shrugged at him sheepishly before pulling her hand away and returning her focus to her legs that were still swinging. She looked small, swaddled in her ratty sweatshirt and feet dangling so high off the ground from where she sat, and Harry was overcome and overwhelmed by a feeling of endearment as he stared at her. 

“S’alright, ‘ve been there quite a few times. F’yeh want, we could talk about it.” He genuinely meant it. There was never a time where Harry didn’t want to not help, but he especially wanted to help her get her mind off things with conversation, which seemed to be a better alternative than consuming anymore alcohol. She was young, younger than him certainly, but not childish, and he was consumed by an odd wave of protectiveness as he watched her. 

“Maybe later I’ll give you the whole run down.” She stopped, and a beat of silence passed before she continued, “I really like your music, by the way. I’ve been a fan since like... way before all this happened to me, and you helped me through a lot. I swear, I was like the biggest Directioner. I’ve still got your posters up in my room back home. Sorry if that’s weird to say, but I mean, it’s kinda cool to be sitting in front of you after staring at you on paper for so long. That sounds fuckin’ creepy, too. Christ, I’m sorry, I’m really not helping my case, am I?” 

Harry laughed as she talked, listening to her switch inflections at the beginning of nearly every sentence, as if she were talking to someone new every time. He was gratified and extremely moved by the reverential tone she used as she thanked him, never experiencing someone so in awe and grateful in his life for things he hadn’t directly done. 

“S’not creepy. I performed with Stevie Nicks, an’ I nearly pissed m’pants, so I get it. M’also a fan of yeh’re music, ‘ve even got two of yeh songs on m’shower playlist.” Harry watched as she blinked in surprise (very cutely, he might add) and bashfully smiled at her lap. 

“Thank you, really, that means a lot to me. It was all so surreal... You know, I was going to be a journalist before all of this happened. I was double-majoring, but I’d always wanted to do music. In college, I was in such a bad place, and then, I released the song, got snatched up by a producer, and now here I am, talking to Harry Styles.” She scooted higher up onto the counter and dropped her head back against the wall, closing her eyes, as if reliving everything she’d just divulged. 

“I know how tha’ feels, too. S’the craziest thing, waking up, an’ realizing yeh life will never be the same again.” Harry leaned against the side of the counter, finding himself sucked into a whirlwind of memories as he fondly remembered his rise to fame. It was silent, save for the obvious noises of the party floating through the rest of the house, but it was comfortable, as if they’d both understood they needed that moment. 

“Harry,” she’d said suddenly, sitting up quickly and fumbling to grab his shoulder, eyes a bit hazy and unfocused. He’d grasped her hand where it lay on him, and squeezed it reassuringly, giving her a small smile. 

“Want to hear about my troubles before I throw them up in this sink?” He laughed once more at her bluntness, and nodded encouragingly. 

“G’on then, love. Let’s hear it.” 

He’d barely finished his sentence before she was off and running, words slurred together and hand warm on his shoulder, telling the story of a “stupid boy with ratty hair, but damn it it was so nice to yank on”, who she’d had a fling with in her senior year of high school that moved away to “some random ass country, think it was fuckin’ Australia” and did a bunch of god-awful things that pulled her heartstrings all the wrong ways, and suddenly happened to swing back into her life, demanding that they pick up where they’d left off and talk about the semantics of their relationship, just as she’d finally “gotten my balls in order and wanted to move on, the asshole.” Tonight, he gave her the option of meeting him over dinner, or “’saying goodbye to us forever’, like, come on, who even says that?”. She’d declined, and this is where Harry had arrived to watch her resort to chugging Belvedere. 

By the time she’d finished, her voice was quiet and tinged with a bit of frustration. Harry was sure he’d felt these things before, and he dare he admit it, he probably inflicted these feelings before. 

“I’m so tired of being sad. It’s exhausting. I just want to be able to be happy, by myself again, so that maybe I can share that happiness with someone else in the future.” Her voice was low, and her eyes were drooping with the weight of her dilemma, and the burden of the alcohol that was no doubt running through her veins at this point. 

She looked exhausted, not in a bad way, but in a way that showed the internal battle she’d been fighting in her heart. Harry felt bad, even a bit sad, that someone like her should have to endure someone else’s faults. She was a beautiful girl, with wit that was more surprising than shocking, and an air around her that drew him in. 

“S’not worth it, yeh know,” Harry rushed the words out before he could stop them, “an’ he didn’t deserve to have someone like yeh care about him. Niall’s right, an’ I know I jus’ met yeh, but I think yeh’re just lovely, an’ things will work out for yeh eventually. Swear on it.”

She’d looked at him with large eyes that held a mixture of inebriation and sadness, but above all, gratitude as she soaked in his words. Harry opened his arms a bit, as if tentatively asking if she’d like to be enveloped in them, and Y/N didn’t need any other invitation. She scooted to the end of the counter and burrowed into Harry’s chest, legs on either side of his hips and arms wrapped around him tightly. Harry’s throat constricted weirdly as if her touch had awoken something within him (but for now, he'd simply say that he felt pity and understanding). 

“I’m just so tired of chasing love, you know?” Her voice was muffled from where her face was pressed against his chest. 

“Suppose tha’ this has got t’be the cheesiest thing ever, but maybe one day, it’ll be worth all of the chasing, right?” Harry fought the urge to stroke her hair down and caress the sides of her face as he breathed her in. The air suddenly felt thin and his heart began to beat wildly, the close proximity working against him, but if she’d noticed, she didn’t show it. 

“I hope you’re right.” 

[missjackil]

My 14x13 Opinion

Lebanon The 300th Episode

I am so proud of this episode and so blown away by how awesome these last 4 episodes have been! Might be an unpopular opinion guys but I really like this season! Sure its had some duds like Optimism and The Scar (Though The Scar had a great broment) but I thought we’d be getting Leader!Sam this season but we have emotionally wrecked!Sam instead, and Im here for that! Needless to say I LOVED this episode, I was so pleased with pretty much everything and I have no big complaints, so lets have at it! I enjoyed the lightness of the beginning, and getting a look at the town. Im so pleased they FINALLY noted that Lebanon KS is the geographical center of the country! So the boys can get anywhere in the country within a day and a half. Its kinda weird though that Lebanon seems to have 3 different post offices. The one from Something About Mary, the one from The Spear, and now this one. LOL thats no big deal so lets move along. 

It was funny that the dude in the pawn shop committed suicide by Winchester, which of course is trying to, or successfully killing one gets you killed by the other, and Dean acknowledges that they all talk too much LOL.

The kids talking about the rumors about the boys was fun but I really wasnt impressed by “cool chick” Max. I liked the boy in the hat though, he was great. Stealing Baby is also suicide by Winchester but Sam and Dean dont go around killing teenagers so, they got lucky. 

I was amuzed by the ghost of John Wayne Gacey clown, and Dean being all “You love serial killers but hate clowns!” and Sam being like “I get it Dean” but Im really glad they didnt make Sam act like he was scared like the other times before. It just wouldnt have fit well into this episode I dont think. Saving Dean is more urgent than a clown fear right? 

Moving on to the meat, and this was as meaty as an episode can get! Dad comes because Dean makes a wish. It seems Dean’s desire to have his family together is more of a desire than getting ole Mike out of his head, and thats really pretty sweet. Dad recognizes the boys right away, which is cool especially since Sam looks NOTHING like he did back in 05, let alone 03 but John says “What happened to you?” I reckon they aged 15+ yrs Pops!

The boys give Dad the nutshell version of their lives over shots of whiskey, because, how else could you do it? But man, John’s face when he hears Mary’s voice was amazing! And I dont even like Mary but, good lord if she didnt nail these scenes!  My hear crumbled, their reunion kiss was completely believable even though we never saw them kiss on the show before. I saw some of you whine that John didnt ask permission first... really? I could see if they were gonna have sex, but when does anyone on TV ever ask to kiss someone?? Not very often. It was by far the most romantic thing Ive ever seen on this show, 

Like typical Winchesters, Dean is sucked into whats right before him and Sam is worried about the big picture. But Sam doesnt lean too hard on Dean about it, lets all have the nice family dinner we’ve never had. 

While compiling a shopping list with Mom, Dean leaves Sam alone with Dad. This scene was .... WOW... so well written and brilliantly acted. I had been wondering how Sam and John would hash things out and this was so much better than I invisioned. Its so in character for the Sam we have watched grow over the last 14 years to get over the bad and focus on the good, because those you love can be taken away in a heartbeat and being left with hard feelings is the worst. All he can think of is seeing Dad dead on the floor and he never got to say goodbye. and he never got to smooth things over. Sams emotions were raw and real! Jared really let Sam feel it, all the regret and anger and loneliness, melts away and turns into “but you loved us.... and thats enough” It was so refreshing to get so much emotional POV from Sam. Something we;ve gotten more of this season than we ever have. It hurts like a mother... but its worth it. 

After the heart shattering talk, Sam composes himself and tells Dean hes right. This was a good thing even if its jut temporary. He asks Dean if he wants company for shopping, and this is like Sam wanting to hold on to his rock (Dean). This is precious.

The boys leave Mom and Dad alone, and go shopping. Now we discover that the timeline has shifted and they have alternate selves. Dean is a wanted criminal and Sam, omg lol Sam is flaming TED talking douchebag that wears turtlenecks, loves Kale, doesnt drink coffee, and doesnt see the need for hobbies or family. But, I gotta say hes lovely in glasses 😎

This inevitably means that not only will Mom disappear, but the boys wont have the relationship they do, and we know, thats a fate worse than the universe exploding. Meanwhile we get a guest appearance by Zachariah and Cas, and Cas is back to S4-ish Cas and possibly even more of a dick. Sam and Dean find them as theyre about to kill the teenagers from earlier and save them. Cas of course doesnt know them from Adam but Zach does. A fight ensues and I just have to state very clearly that Dean went after cas with the angel blade with no second thoughts. Zach attacks Sam and tries to kill him, but Sam kills him instead. Now thats poetic to have been killed by both Winchesters at different times! 

Now Cas is trying to kil Sam, which as we know, never goes over well with Dean, but Cas really nails Sam HARD in the face and Sam spews blood all over! That was pretty graphic and dramatic! Well full strength douchebag angel or not, Dean doesnt let you beat on Sam. so heattacks Cas, and Cas is about to kill Dean. There is no “Cas its me!! Fight this!! I love you!!” like all the hellers wanted and predicted LMAO instead Sam writes a sigil with his blood and zaps Cas away.

Back at home, yet another highly emotional scene as Sam tells Mom why they have to let Dad go... she would just fade away and they would become their “other” selves. Mary cries real tears. and Sam overflows again. God my heart!! Dean talks to Dad and Dad is more than willing to lay his life down for Mom. They all sit solomly at the dinner table. Oddly enough Sam is the only one eating, and Im sure theres meta in there somewhere.... all I can think of at the moment is that hes distracting himself from the painful slence, and hes the only one who never really had Winchester Surprise. John decides to lighten the mood and be grateful for this time, and they all follow suit. And it was glorious!! My boys laughing and eating and enjoying themselves with mom and dad, I just dont know what words to give this scene! 

Afterwards, Sam and Dean are washing dishes together #husbros and they briefly discuss keeping it the way it is. I mean really.... Mom may disappear and they wont be insanely co-dependent, but Michael wont be in Dean’s head anymore, because nothing leading up to it would have ever happened. Dean says hes good with who he is, and hes good with who Sam is, and hes just too old to want to change it. 

The farewell scene was nothing less than earth shattering painful. Dean was surprisingly calm and stoic, though he had many tears. It was as if on purpose, he let Sam and Mom have all the emotions. John hugs his sons one last time. and tells them he’s so proud of them, Poor Sam is gutted. He cant even pretend he isnt crying. Dad tells them he loves them. Dean says he loves him too. Sam cant get words out so he wipes his face and nods. In a beautiful paralell from the old days when John told Dean “Take care of Sammy” and Dean answers “I always do” John says “Take care of each other” and Sam answers “We always do”😭😭😭😭😭😭John takes Mary’s hand and Sam in obvious pain crushes the pearl and Dad fades away. He wakes up in Baby back in 2003 believing he had a good dream. 

Now we have to wait a freakin month for the next episode. But Ill be ok. I think I need a break from all the emotions of the last several episodes because the next couple will probably be less dramatic. This is ok, if every episode was this emotional, even that would get old fast. We only have 7 episodes left and I dont want to rush to the end of the season for a freakin 6 month hiatus!! AGGGHHHHH!! 

Overall I am in love with this episode. It may have moved itself into first place but it has at least tied. This episode definitely met and exceeded my expectations, and last week I thought it wouldnt be able to beat that one. Im so proud of SPN, the writers, and the cast of this episode Ill give them all a standing ovation 👏👏👏👏👍💖 I think its abundantly clear now that Dabb DOES care about the brother bond and doesnt give a rats ass about dean/cas in fact it looks as if the next few episodes might be Dean lite... but we never really know till we watch the episodes.

In conclusion. on a scale from Bloodlines to Who We Are, Lebanon is a 10. Well done show.... well done! Now onward to the 400th episode!!

[mum-for-da-sons]

Very messy Delta review

Hey gang, i sat & typed & spiraled while listening to delta for the first time just now, so if that interests you to read barely legible thoughts, it’ll be under the read more thing. dang i’m sad!! BUt spoiler alert: GOOOD ALBUM! I’m SAD!! (do note I don’t find the album or many tracks all-around too sad, I’m just a depressed bih)

Delta thoughts: okay i’m not gonna really edit what i wrote but for everyone’s sanity i’ll bold the song titles, okay?

42: BINCH! See a sign, I need some guiding light,,, eff ME UP OKAY?? This is such a strong start i’m already getting teary-eyed, huh. Ugh, it’s so satisfying… well effing done lads,, well done

Guiding Light: Hot dang the whispered beginning?? I really need to fix my computer speakers because this sounds heavenly in my over-ear headphones,, gosh dang. Discover some new TRUTH! Gosh dang this is not a comprehensive review in the slightest but i don’t care!! Binch!! I can’t even say anything good… when beloved or darkness visible makes me cry, i guess beloved is fourth? So if it does it’ll be first, anyway, when i start crying maybe i have something cooler to say. Not crazy about the “dubstep build” on this, after the bridge, just because i don’t believe it, like it’s not long enough, and resolves unconvincingly. But, anyway.

Woman: literally FRICK i thought if i say was next this start is cool and very Winston. Oh vibes?? Oh worm?? Woman?? I’m like 15 seconds in and this is… yes. Can you ever really know? No. is ths song even about anything lol i don’t think i care?? Issa vibe, gang. Chorus?? Eff me up. He said frosty… wendy’s come collect. Oh that was the pre-chorus?? This is f*cking me up… VIBES. i ‘ve been waiting for them to try this in a song of theirs and not like a cover.. I knew they were capable…. The range they’re displaying rn? I love it. I love them wtf!!  Oooh man i wanna see this live? There’s this drumstick noise, like rimshots? That sounds so satisfying. Yes, clackety clack. This is nice. Nice song. Don’t really know what they’re singing, bt this is warm. I like it. Mumford & sons finally said it’s 2018, huh. I just got a youtube notification of me commenting on their radio appearance and i literally said “the range they’re showing? Fantastic” and yanno what,, same

Beloved: this song started like right away huh. He said darling… dang he did that. He’s fitting a lot of words in on this one. Ohh the lord has a plan? It is hard to understand… i love these lyrics.. Big brain meme. Are you afraid? The attack.. Hand come through the mirror?? That visual!!! O f*ck me up. Before you leave :(( yeah it’s getting to me aHAHA.ohh this breakdown? Yes. these drums are especially nice. Ugh i really missed these guys wtf :(. AND AS YOU LEAVE, YOU MUST KNOW YOU ARE BELOVED> yes. Yes. as you LEeeeEEeaaveee. See my children playing at your feet?? BOI.. i’m so soft wtf.. They’re really putting it all out… i wanna hug them i’m so… this is so sweet aw. Oh no the song is fading, no don’t do that song

What song is this the piano can f*ck me up: ben man, you’re doin that huh. No literally did we have to jump to this painful… frick. This violin? Is nice. WE SAW BIRTH AND DEATH. Oh frick. They’re just going for it this is a lot i’m soft. Lemme actually see what song this is lol.. It’s The Wild. i have like chills & i can’t tell if it’s because i’m cold or not. Do not be afraid :(. OH they stripped it back!!! THIS IS NICE! Binch! Puts the fear of God in me :( this is so nice .. it’s hard to pick what to focus on. What’s that i see binch? I think it’s the wild… marcus is really do THAT with these vocals, huh. There was like a breath and.. The atmosphere during this part?? Nat Geo who??? Ohhh i like this so much.. It’s like a soundtrack.. The sampling of noise?? The background?? It’s cool, doesn’t specifically sound like them at all, but, aw these drums :( now it’s like a war movie.. This is so interesting. Those drums remind me of the drums in winter winds that i can sometimes here & it’s very drill-like and marching band-esqe and i love it. Aw birds??? You know what this reminds me of…. I won’t say

Next song: marcus is playing no games with these vocals, jesus. October Skies.. Isn’t this his favorite one… ooh ted I hear that bass,, eff it up.OooooOOOoooHH. The range… i love these guys. I’m blinded by the light of october skies… the movie with Jake Gylenhaal, and in the valley I am free :( where’d the silehute go? OOOooooOOOOooooHH YOUr’e esesjfsfshesal!! The fear of what’s to come.. CRIPlin’ me :( binch. Is this synth lowkey?? Brand it on my mind is such a great visual, like the “press my nose up to the glass around your heart” line.. Who wrote it. Oh is the sonG_ OOOOOOoooooOOOOOOoooooHHHH. Maggie rogers is that you? Hot dang

An upbeater!! Wipe those tears baby! Is this the just smoke of this album. This is.. Slip Away. “stoic smile” i see you… haha. Ooh this chorus is nice COME AND SUFFER HERE, LADIES! Mood!! Holding my breathe for you? F! In this violence of a mind’s eye… i like everything except maybe---- ohh this falsetto?? I’m.. i’m tearing.. Oooh we just found a song to cry to in the middle of the night, huh. It’s misleading with the beat vs. the lyrics.. I wouldn’t have it any other way!! Gosh i’m so depressed! Lol!! There’s a pulsing beat of some kind that’s nice.. Also some nice guitar work on here, some clackety things… go gently… be still…. Go gently….now… be still… Go Gentlyyyyy nowwwww, be stiiiilllll. Ugh they.. They’re doing this… i’m so proud of them wtf. Is this winston?? Who is singing.. Marcus?? I can’t.. Tell? No i think its marcus but we’ve truly never heard that high-end from him for that long

Okay: next song is pretty interesting- ooh! Right off the bat! This has to be the one they said sounded like ngalma? However you spell it… clap clap clap clap clap, this is a drum-machiner one for sure. I will be yours & you will be mine, ever our lives will be entwined binch! This noise after “my rose of sharon” is a mood. Ugh this is so cute.. Imagine being happy w/ someone else, what a concept ! eeeeeee yuh! That’s what they’re singing in the back.. My rose of sharon, my rose of sharon, BRR BRR BRN NER! Did the song-- what’s up with these abrupt endings

That being said, Picture You sounds v vibey right off the bat. Okay lads! I thought it best you didn’t knowww. I’m so proud of Marcus for flaunting these vocals, i stg, I’ve spoken on this before but... like he can do that!! I’m so glad he’s,, doing it! Ooh the “away” is v nice. I love full-stops in music, where the sound gets sucked out like here or just stops entirely… yes boys. Okay.. not crazy about this kind of.. Breakdown but it’s still cool. Just not in-rand as much as some other things. I mean, this sound is V different of course but they’re workin’ it. Okay i kind of stopped paying attention for a sec… there’s sampling… ohhh oh no it’s getting dark… hohoho no guys.. I’m excited but the anxiety is jumping out… holy smokes this is cool tho. It’s pretty. Hope that never comes, that comes to all.. Torture without end… yet from the great flames no light,,, but rather.. .DARKNESS VISIBLE. I’m gonna check if it didn’t seamlessly bleed into darkness visible…

Oh it did!! Their minds!! God, i already know i love darkness visible,, it was my pre-album listen fave on details about it alone,, we’re depressed sweeties let’s pop off… it’s so nice >:(. And just like that it ended!!!! BINCH!!! Ooh they’re like not even vocally in that one… i like that ish!! Not the “them not being in it” in that way but OOH! That was effing cool

If I Say: is still v v nice,, sounds effing expansive and beautiful with good headphones, i’m picking up all the lil details and prettiness.. The synth line after “if i say i love you, well then i love you” is sooo satisfying too. Ugh this orchestra,,, it’s building.. Truly their minds were so big on this album, huh. I’ll tell you what It doesn’t mean that i feel better! It doesn’t mean that I feel better! I’m, haha i still kinda hate this chorus but their so passionate i can’t hate it all the way,, like they love this ish and are into it & i love them so it’s allll good homies. I dig. I’ll be fake and wild out when they play it live, don’t worry. But peace you never find :( the guitar tone is crispyyyy,, the instrumentation… ugh it’s so nice. Violins can murder me or someat and I’d accept it. AND IF I SAY I LOVE YOU, THEN I LOVE YOUUUU. Ugh,, so so nice man

What’s NEXT: ooh some seamlessness in that transition.. .is this ghost of tom joad i’m hearing lol, mortal once again!! Oh this is a mood, freak.. Sigh no more marcus really jumped out on this one. This shuffling maraca thing is so nice. I’ll hold you by the jaw!! Hoo hoo bihhh. “It took a wild heart to tame mIIiine” this is so nice wtf!! Ugh this is so nice. I wouldn’t have you any other way,, awwwwwWWW!! Who want a love that makes sense anyway? I’ll effing say! Ugh this is very nice. These lyrics are so interesting… this is a good one guys, quiet & sweet but there’s some pretty cool things also going on, like it’s simple but its… this is it, ya know? This piano is sweet too. This whole thing is sweet, maybe that’s a dumb word to use but. This is so sweeeeet ugh!!! The vocal riffs on “mine” … ugh!! I kind of like the echoey vocals too.. Soft rain patter for two seconds at the end??

Reverse noises w/ a big breath from Marcus: let’s effing go w/ this album, gang!! What song is this reminding me of… whispers in the dark? He did some late-babel, early wilder mind voice thing.. Wait it’s forever isn’t it. I heard this one i think, like 3 yrs ago.. Yup, Dare I Say Forever.. I still don’t like do it for the girl” cos it’s too straightfoward, ,”i’ve known pious women” LOL where is this going. Only mumford & sons can really put that word in a song and just, keep singing. We stan tho, we stan. Think of london,,, we love. The DAAaaYS you defend will turn to gold,, this could easily be the last song on the album, this is like a last-call at the bar song,, in a good way, i’ve linked arms with my buddies & we’re all yelling this song like goons,, yes. Lighters a-waving,, are we too sentimental to not look back atnd!! WOW he realy did that with stare!! I couldnt finish typing that.. Is this part auto-tuned?? Dare I say.. Why? I’m choosing to hear it as a vocoder and many harmonies so i don’t hate that but uhaha they.. Hm they tried that i guess. Other than that the vi- oh why did the violin exit like that

The song is bouncing in my ears weird!! It’s giving me monster vibes atm. There’s a definite thread of messages goin thru this album & oof i love being sad,, the children come & go as you weep? Lol i love being sad. I am a waste?? My words are empty [as the bed we made]. Wilder mind is comin out on this, the album, huh!! The optimism on this album is-- I”LL MEET YOU OUT THE DELTAAA< WHERE THE RIVER”S RUINNING TO THE SEA,, GOD i love it. Ooh these drums, cool cool, it’s.. This is cool. Also sampling marcus’s children is sure way to eff everyone up, but that’s for another post,, ooooh i’m soft!! When it feels like nothing else matters :((((( lets go with this build!!! I wanna go for a run and have a cry.. Ooh man i took a moment there… this is so nice :( i’v missed them!!! Whats goin on with his vocals here,, the recording is like too close,, on purpose?? Hm. dust to dust!! I see you!! Marcus is truly giving his all here,, ugh I”m so proud of all of them, they put their LIVES on this, didn’t they!!! This song is such a feeling,, i can’t describe it i’m sad, but awwwW! I don’t kno wtf these kids are saying but wow that was cute as all heck!!! I”m so soft!! The album is over!! They did it!! Frick i don’t know how to feel!! Good really, but wow!!! Trying to not let my own sadness affect this review haha but !! what a nice body of work they produced!! In all the best ways, mostly!! I love them!!  I wanna have another listen!! Aw!!!! Frick guys. Frick. Can’t imagine anyone wants to slog thru this and have a read but,, anyway thanks if you did i guess, special thanks to Mumford & Sons for being my favorite band and always :( always being there when I need it. I needed this. wow. wow. Wowww!!!  Oof, haha i’m sad

Okay wait also he should’ve repeated the “I’ll meet you at the delta part” at least one more time but eff my criticism that song captures all stages of life and i truly wanna cry, so there’s that. Theses guys put it all out there & I really love them for that.