#deja brew | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

theostrophywife · 1 year ago

Text

the crush theory.

pairing: lorenzo berkshire x reader.

song inspiration: london boy by taylor swift.

author’s note: this is just a cute indulgent coffee shop! au with my sweetheart enzo. majorly inspired by all the boyfriend vibes louis has been serving with miss olivia lately. let’s not even talk about the ass grab with his big hands and rings…🫣

Enzo Berkshire never quite managed to master the language of love.

Despite being a polyglot and a linguistics major, romance remained a complete mystery to him. It wasn't like he could craft a conjugation chart to help him not make a fool of himself in front of the girl of his dreams. When it came to matters of the heart, Enzo often found himself at a loss for words. Perhaps that was the reason why he never mustered up the courage to speak to you.

Until that one fateful fall morning.

The kiss of autumn arrived on campus a few weeks into the semester, freeing the city from the grips of the summer heat and bringing with it the changing of leaves and the distinct scent of cinnamon and apples. Enzo shoved his hands into the pockets of his burnt orange corduroy trousers and savored the sound of the jewel toned leaves crunching underneath his loafers. As the wind picked up, he wrapped his chunky knit cardigan tighter around himself to shield against the chilly breeze.

The ivy covered brick buildings and cobblestone streets faded into the background as he walked past the quad. Deja Brew, the little hole in the wall cafe that Enzo frequented, greeted him like an old friend. The coffee shop was located on the outskirts of campus and was only a short walk from his dorm, which made it the ideal place to conduct his tutoring sessions. Not only was it convenient, but the cozy and quiet ambience provided the perfect setting for Enzo to teach his fellow struggling students.

As time went on, the choice of location became less about convenience and more about catching a glimpse of you—the surly barista that worked the morning shift. For the past few months, Enzo developed a rather embarrassing crush on you. There was something about your scowl and no bullshit attitude that drew him to you like a moth to a flame. Though in his case, Enzo was perfectly content to hover a safe distance from the proverbial light of your fancy French cigarette lest he get burned.

Upon first glance, anyone would have been intimidated by you. With your faded band tees, ripped jeans, and scuffed leather boots, Enzo was well aware that a girl like you would never be interested in a bloke who's wardrobe consisted of sweaters with elbow patches, floral print button downs, and neatly pressed pleated trousers. Needless to say, you were way too cool for him.

Enzo was resigned to merely admiring you from afar, but fate seemed to have other ideas. The bell above the door tinkled softly as he made his way into Deja Brew only to stop dead in his tracks when he spotted you at the register. Usually, you were behind the bar manning the espresso machine during the early morning rush, but not today.

Today, you were front and center.

Part of him considered walking out the door, but given the fact that the shop was nearly empty, a hasty exit would definitely not go unnoticed. Enzo had no choice but to suck it up and approach the register with resignation. The minute he opened his mouth, he was sure he’d muck things up.

Enzo swallowed thickly and pushed his round framed glasses further up the bridge of his nose; a nervous habit he developed when he was younger. The erratic beat of his heart echoed in Enzo’s ears as his gaze flickered up to your face, expecting to be greeted with a frown. To his surprise, your lips curved into a small smile once you spotted him.

“Lemon balm tea with two pumps of peach syrup and a dollop of honey, right?”

Enzo blinked at the melodious sound of your voice, nearly missing the fact that you’d recited his exact order, which shouldn’t have been surprising given the fact that you’ve been making it for him for months. Still, he couldn’t help but feel a little warm inside as you looked at him expectantly. He stared in stunned silence for a moment.

You furrowed your brow in doubt. “Did I get that wrong?”

“No, no, it’s right. It’s great. It’s perfect—“ Enzo cleared his throat, mentally kicking himself for rambling. “I’m just surprised that you remembered it.”

“Of course I remember it, you’re one of my regulars. I’d be a pretty shit barista if I forgot your order.” You cocked your head, tapping your lips thoughtfully. “Speaking of which, do you want your croissant warmed up, Lorenzo?”

“You know my name?”

Enzo hadn’t meant to sound so starstruck, but hearing his name come out of your mouth made his heart skip a beat.

“And your social security number too,” you deadpanned. Enzo’s eyes widened, which made you chuckle. “I’m just having a laugh. I promise I won’t commit identity theft against you. Unless you piss me off.”

You accompanied the statement with a cheeky wink, which only made Enzo even more nervous.

"Don't look so nervous, peach. I swear I don't bite."

“Right. Sure. Of course,” he stammered. “The tea and the croissant sounds good, Y/N.” The realization that you’ve never told him your name came a beat too late. “It’s on your chest. The name tag, I mean. I wasn’t just staring at your chest. Though I’m sure it’s very nice. Bloody hell, I’ll stop talking now.”

Enzo cringed at himself, but eased when you laughed. “You’re a strange bloke, Lorenzo.” You said as you began making his drink. “But I’ve got to admit, it’s oddly charming.”

He chuckled, trying to hide the flush coloring his cheeks. “That seems to be my sweet spot.”

"As sweet as peaches," you retorted as you added two pumps of peach syrup into his tea. "You'll have to excuse the fruit references. Before I knew your name, I referred to you solely as the peach guy."

"Is that good or bad?"

Enzo hiked his backpack over his shoulder and meandered down the end of the counter where you were topping off his tea with a dollop of honey. You swirled it into a heart pattern before sliding the warm cup into a sleeve.

"Well, I've never met anyone who's preferred drink could constitute as a dessert, so it's certainly something. You're an enigma, Lorenzo," you said thoughtfully. "Though I think I like peach better. You don't really strike me as a Lorenzo."

“You can call me Enzo. I prefer it over my full name. It sounds so stuffy.”

“We certainly can’t have that,” you said with a smirk. “Enzo. I like it. It’s rather becoming. Not stuffy at all.” He chuckled as you handed him a brown bag. "I might still call you peach from time to time. Force of habit. You understand, right?"

"Of course," Enzo replied. "El loro viejo no aprende a hablar."

"You kiss your mum with that mouth, peach?"

Enzo flushed. "It's Spanish for the old parrot does not learn to talk. Basically their equivalent of you can't teach an old dog new tricks." He shifted his weight onto his other foot. "What I'm trying to say is, I don't mind if you call me peach or Enzo or whatever else you'd like."

"You're giving me way too much freedom, Enzo. I intend on taking full advantage." You winked as you slid his drink over to him. “Enjoy your croissant. I put a little something extra in there for you.”

Enzo peered into the bag and saw an extra pastry wrapped in black cellophane next to his croissant. The brownie didn’t look like any of the ones behind the counter, which meant that it was probably homemade. Strange, he wouldn’t have pegged you for a baker.

“Oh, you really don’t have to—”

“Nonsense,” you countered, waving off his protests. “Really, you’d be doing me a favor. It’s an experimental recipe of mine, which makes you my guinea pig. As payment, I expect a full report on the brownie tomorrow morning. Don’t hold back either, peach. I want a brutally honest review.”

“I’m sure it’ll be great,” Enzo said in reassurance. “In any case, your guinea pig will take ample notes.”

“That would be much appreciated,” you said with a serious nod. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Enzo-not-Lorenzo.”

Enzo couldn’t help but grin. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N.”

Enzo rubbed his temples, willing the headache forming behind his eyes to vanish. Unfortunately for him, his last tutoring session with Flint seemed to have left a permanent mark. While Enzo usually enjoyed teaching French, Marcus was proving to be a rather difficult case. Not only was Flint unwilling to do the work, the knobhead also spent the entire session leering at you instead of studying the conjugation chart that Enzo poured his blood, sweat, and tears on.

“Merlin, I have no idea how you deal with rich, smarmy arseholes all day.”

Enzo looked up to find you seated across the table, sliding a sandwich, a fruit cup, and a bag of crisps towards him without missing a beat. He hadn’t even realized it was already an hour past lunch until his stomach grumbled at the sight of food.

“One could argue that I’m also a rich, smarmy arsehole,” Enzo countered, picking up a grape and popping it into his mouth with a slight smile. “Yet you seem to have no problems dealing with me.”

“Yes, well, everyone knows I’m just using you for your body. Specifically, your taste buds.” Enzo shook his head in amusement before taking a bite out of the sandwich. Peanut butter and jelly, his favorite. “Besides, how else am I supposed to learn new insults in different languages if I hadn’t met you? Speaking of which, I believe I’m completely justified in saying that Flint is a total gehirnverweigerer.”

“Marcus isn’t so bad. He just needs a bit of a push,” Enzo replied rather unconvincingly.

“If by a push you mean my boot against his arse, then I wholeheartedly agree.”

“The French have this saying, petit à petit, l’oiseau fait son nid. In English, it roughly translates to: little by little, the bird builds its nest.”

“Except Flint isn’t a bird, he’s a twat,” you deadpanned. “The bloke was too busy staring at my arse to even pick up a lick of French. To think, you even made this cute little chart and everything. You have the patience of a saint, Enz.”

“One of us has to,” Enzo replied as he tore open the bag of wotsits. “Given your proclivity to violence.”

“Don’t make me take your crisps away, Lorenzo.”

Shielding his wotsits from your vengeful wrath, Enzo flashed you a saccharine smile. For good measure, he even batted his pretty honey eyes at you. The audacity. “Have I ever told you that you’re my favorite person in the whole entire world?”

You rolled your eyes fondly. “Flattery will get you everywhere, Berkshire. Now finish your lunch or else I’ll be very cross with you.”

Enzo smiled to himself, wondering at the fact you were complete strangers until a few weeks ago. Ever since you gifted him with the best brownie he’s ever tasted in his entire life, he became your designated taste tester. Every morning, Enzo would start his day off with his usual lemon tea and whatever new pastry recipe you had chosen to tackle that week. Between the scones and muffins, Enzo learned that you intended on opening your own bakery after uni. Hence, his very important role of reviewing your recipes.

Granted, Enzo didn’t know how much of a help he actually was given the fact that he thought everything you made was amazing. Still, the novelty of finding a fresh pastry in his bag with a handwritten note from you never failed to brighten his morning. Especially since you signed each one with a crimson kiss print that made him blush every time he laid his eyes upon it. It was safe to say his crush had only gotten worse the more he got to know you.

As you settled behind the counter to help with the afternoon rush, Enzo attempted to get some work done before classes started for the day. With finals fast approaching, he was caught up on making sure he had everything in order. It wasn’t until Enzo heard a familiar voice when he finally tore his gaze away from his laptop screen.

Enzo froze as he watched one of his best mates saunter up to the counter. Even from his seat by the window, he could tell that Mattheo was flirting with you. In hindsight, his friend seemed exactly like the type of guy you would go for. The broody bad boy who probably listened to all the obscure bands that you often talked to him about. As Mattheo directed his smoldering gaze at you, Enzo thought he might be violently ill.

Squinting across the coffee shop, Enzo angrily shoved his hands into the pockets of his trousers in an attempt to keep himself from strangling his curly headed friend.

In a tone that was at least an octave deeper than his regular voice, Mattheo drawled a question at you. “What’s good here?”

You stared at him pointedly before waving a hand towards the menu. “There’s coffee, there’s pastries. It’s really not rocket science.”

The deadpan delivery combined with the utterly unenthused expression on your face nearly made Enzo snort out loud. It might’ve been an arsehole move to rejoice at Mattheo’s fumble, but he found it immensely satisfying that you seemed to be immune to the infamous Riddle charm.

“A bit feisty today aren’t we, love? I just wanted to see what the pretty lady behind the counter recommends.”

Enzo watched in amusement as you slipped on your signature scowl, the one that made him fall for you in the first place. “The pretty lady recommends that you stop holding up the line so she can get to the other customers who actually know what they want.”

Hiding his smirk, Enzo feigned surprise as a dejected Mattheo plopped down across from him. “Merlin, that was brutal. Is the barista always this mean? I complimented her pins and she stared at me like I’d grown an extra head.”

“Y/N isn’t really a people person,” Enzo supplied.

“No shit, Berkshire.” Mattheo tapped his fingers on the counter. “Let’s just get to class before I embarrass myself any further.”

“That’s probably for the best,” replied Enzo.

Ignoring Mattheo’s glare, Enzo packed up his laptop and put his tray away. He followed his mate through the throng of people, which had thinned out once more. They were a few steps away from the door when you called out his name. With a raised brow, you held out a pink box. Enzo smiled sheepishly in return. He couldn’t believe he’d almost forgotten the dessert of the day.

“One lemon berry scone. Less tart, per your critique last week.” He took the box from your hands, blushing furiously when your fingers brushed against his. “Have a good class, peach.”

“Thanks, Y/N. I’ll have your full report ready tomorrow.”

“You better.” Enzo nearly dropped the box when you winked at him. “Later, Berkshire.”

Smiling to himself, Enzo came face to face with a gaping Mattheo. “For Salazar’s sake, it’s like I don’t even exist.” He muttered before breaking out into a grin. “No wonder my moves had no effect. Mate, she obviously fancies you.”

Enzo’s cheeks immediately heated as he pushed out into the quad. “What? No. Y/N and I are just really good friends.”

“Now I understand why you come here so often,” Mattheo remarked. “If the mean hot barista plied me with baked goods and called me peach, I’d be coming here every day.”

“It's an inside joke about my drink order..." Enzo tried to explain. "The point is, Y/N isn’t mean. She’s actually really nice.”

“Yeah, because she likes you.”

“No, she doesn’t.”

“Does too.” Mattheo countered. “Why else would she bake you a scone?”

“She wants to own a bakery someday. Obviously, that means she needs someone to test her recipes out on,” Enzo explained. “It’s how we became friends.”

“Right,” Mattheo said with a shit eating grin. “Friends.”

Enzo rolled his eyes. “Can we just please get to class?”

“Whatever you say, peach.”

“I have a theory,” Mattheo announced.

Enzo sighed, rubbing his eyes. “Not this again, mate.”

The rest of their friends perked up, abandoning their laptop screens and textbooks in favor of the newest piece of gossip. The little corner of the library that their group had claimed was fairly quiet, which was supposed to be optimal for revising, but Mattheo couldn’t seem to let his conspiracy theory go. He'd been badgering Enzo about it for a week.

“Berkshire here refuses to believe me, but I have it on good authority that Y/N has a crush on him.

“Y/N,” Theo started, “You mean his mean barista friend? She’s proper fit.”

“Don’t call her fit,” Enzo replied rather defensively.

“A little touchy there, Berkshire.” Regulus said with a chuckle. “Is that jealousy I sense?”

“For the millionth time, Y/N and I are just friends.”

“Is that the same friend that makes all those tasty pastries for you?” Draco asked with a raised brow. “I’ve seen the cute little notes she leaves for you posted all around your dorm. With the adorable kiss prints and hearts. Seems to me like Mattheo’s right. Y/N’s sweet on you, cousin.”

“Do me a favour and stop being a snooping twat, cousin.” Enzo retorted with a frown. “Y/N’s just being nice. It’s what friends do.”

“None of my mates have ever gone out of their way to bake me a bloody thing,” Blaise declared in feigned offense as he wrapped an arm around Pansy.

“Yes, well, none of your mates even know where the oven is located, let alone how to operate it,” replied his girlfriend. Pansy smiled at Enzo. “Besides, I think their friendship is sweet.”

“Thanks, Pans.”

“So you don’t fancy Y/N?” Theo asked. Enzo opened his mouth then closed it. He was well aware that his friend was baiting him, but he refused to fall into Theo’s trap.

“Like I said, we’re friends.”

“In that case, you wouldn’t mind if I asked for her number, right?”

As a matter of fact, Enzo did fucking mind. He minded very much. Too much, probably. But he couldn’t very well say that out loud. Instead, he masked his scowl and returned his attention to revising.

“Knock yourself out, mate.”

Theo smirked. “Alright then, let’s go.”

“Go where?” Enzo asked disinterestedly, flipping through his study sheet for Latin.

“To Deja Brew,” Theo replied smugly. “We all need a study break, anyways.”

“You want to go there? Right now?” With each question, Enzo’s death grip tightened on his notes. “To ask for Y/N’s number?”

“That shouldn’t be a problem, right? In fact, maybe you could introduce us.”

Enzo would rather walk on hot coals. “I think I'll pass. I've already seen her turn Mattheo down and that was brutal enough as it is. I don’t need an encore.”

“Riddle’s probably not her type.”

Mattheo frowned, crossing his arms. “I’m everyone’s type.”

Theo chuckled. “Apparently not hers. Perhaps she’d prefer a handsome Italian, no?”

Mattheo rolled his eyes. “In your dreams, Nott.”

“Now I’m intrigued,” exclaimed Blaise. “I’d never miss an opportunity to witness Theodore get humbled. Are you sure you’re ready for a woman like Y/N, Nott?”

“Please,” Theo scoffed. “I was born ready.”

Against his will, Enzo found himself at Deja Brew ten minutes later. In his usual corner by the window, he brooded like a petulant child. This was a horrible, terrible, and idiotic idea. All he wanted to do was revise and now his study session had been hijacked just so he could watch Theo flirt with the girl he fancied.

“You know, you can put a stop to this any time you’d like,” Mattheo said in a sing-songy voice. “Just admit that my theory is right. Y/N has a crush on you and I’m willing to bet that the feeling is mutual. Isn’t it, Berkshire?”

Enzo crossed his arms, rolling his eyes. Instead of giving into Mattheo’s childish pursuits, he opened his laptop and pretended to be immersed with Russian translations.

“Have it your way, Enzo.” Regulus declared, nodding towards the register. “Nott’s about to give us a show.”

As irritated as he was with his friends, Enzo couldn’t tear his gaze away. Theo marched up to the counter with swagger and confidence, slipping on his signature smirk. You looked up from your phone screen, giving the tall and lanky boy a sweeping gaze. The unenthused expression on your face screamed that you weren’t at all impressed.

“Y/N, is it?” Theo drawled, squinting at the nametag pinned to your apron. “A pretty name for a pretty lady.”

“Thanks,” you deadpanned. “My parents gave it to me. Now what can I get started for you?”

“Aren’t you going to ask me for my name?”

“I know who you are,” you replied dismissively. “One of Enzo’s friends, right? I heard about your little stunt in the fountain. You know, December’s not really a smart time to go skinny dipping.” Theo flushed as your eyes trailed down to his crotch. “Certain parts shrivel in the cold, Nott.”

“I assure you, my parts were perfectly intact.”

“That’s not what Katie Bell said,” you countered, tapping your lips thoughtfully. “I believe I heard something about shrinkage.” Theo opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water. “I’ll tell you what, Theodore. Why don’t I fix you up a cappuccino? It’ll help keep you and your parts warm and cozy.”

Enzo bit his lip to keep himself from bursting into laughter. The rest of his friends snickered as they watched a dejected Theo return to the table.

Regulus snorted as he sat back down in defeat. “Merlin, that was hard to watch. Absolutely brutal, really.”

Theo glared at Regulus in response. “I’d like to see you do better, Black.”

Regulus winked. “Watch and learn, boys.”

The older boy had about as much luck as Theo. Though the attempts had put him in a foul mood at first, Enzo was absolutely elated as he watched you turn down his friends. Regulus received an eye roll while Draco reeled from the head to toe once-over that humbled the absolute hell out of him.

“It’s useless,” his cousin mumbled. “She hates everyone.”

“Or maybe Y/N just doesn’t appreciate random blokes chatting her up while she’s trying to do her job,” Pansy said with an eye roll.

“Oh bloody hell, here she comes.” Regulus muttered under his breath. “I don’t think my ego can take another hit.”

The boys cowered as you came closer, but you didn’t pay them any mind. Instead, you set a fresh mug of tea and a lemon scone down in front of Enzo.

“Last one, I promise. It’s finally perfect this time.”

“You said that the last three times,” Enzo said with a chuckle. “They were all brilliant, by the way. Not that you listen to my well crafted reviews.”

“You say that about everything I make, Enz. Honestly, a girl bakes you a couple of treats and suddenly I’m the best thing since sliced bread.”

“I’m just being honest,” he replied with a shrug. “You couldn’t bake a single bad pastry if you tried.”

“I’d like to try a pastry,” Mattheo interjected.

You tore your attention away from Enzo. The smile that you reserved for him transformed into a scowl, your entire body language turning stern. “I’m sorry. Who are you again?”

“Riddle,” Mattheo supplied. “Mattheo Riddle.”

“Right,” you said slowly, as if speaking to a small child. “My pastries aren’t for sale. You’re more than welcome to try the day-old brownie behind the counter though. If you can manage to chew through it.”

Mattheo sputtered, but you paid no mind to his aghast expression. Enzo fought the urge to kiss you right then and there.

“Closing again tonight?” he asked, ignoring the blatant stares from the rest of his friends.

“Unfortunately. Diggory bailed again. Probably too busy snogging Cho to come in for his shift,” you said with an eye roll.

“Leave those lovebirds alone,” Enzo quipped back. “They’re in their honeymoon phase.”

“I can’t for the life of me understand how they aren’t sick of each other by now.”

“That’s because you’re a mean old grump.” You glared at him, which only made Enzo smile. “Luckily for you, that doesn’t deter me. I’ll come keep you company if you want. I promise to be way more entertaining than Cedric.”

“It’s not a hard task to accomplish, but I’ll take you up on it nonetheless.”

“I thought you might say that,” he said with a small smile. “I’ll meet you back here after my last class. Pad Thai tonight?”

You nodded and grinned back. “This is why you’re my favorite, peach.”

The boys gaped as you ruffled his hair in parting. They waited until you were out of earshot before launching into a tirade.

“What the bloody hell was that?”

“Just friends my arse.”

“I can’t believe she actually smiled at you!”

“It’s strange how treating Y/N like an actual human being instead of pestering her while she’s trying to work yields such positive results,” Pansy retorted. “I think you all need to start following Enzo’s example. Clearly he’s had more success than you lot.”

Blaise patted Enzo on the back. “Mate, you might be the most oblivious bloke in all of Britain, but you’d have to be an absolute knobhead not to see what’s right in front of you.”

He hummed in response, glancing up at the exact same time that your gaze met his from across the room. You winked, making him blush furiously. Merlin, you were pretty. It was honestly unfair. Maybe Zabini was onto something.

When it came to you, even Enzo had to agree that he was a total and absolute knobhead.

Later that night, Enzo helped you clear the plates and mugs as the last customers trickled out of Deja Brew. The soft sounds of your perfectly curated playlist trickled over the speakers as you flipped the sign to closed. He watched with a small smile as you hopped up onto the counter and beckoned him over. The fairy lights twinkled above the ceiling, illuminating your smile as Enzo took his place next to you.

The sight of you grinning up at him tugged at his heartstrings. There were coffee stains on your jeans and apron, your thick hair was falling out of its braid, and a cold bowl of Pad Thai awaited in your lap and yet he’d never seen anything more beautiful in his life.

“Aren’t you glad Cedric bailed?” Enzo teased, knocking his shoulder with yours. “Now you get to enjoy cold noodles with your favorite person.”

You chuckled, nudging him back. “I suppose this is nicer than listening to Diggory ramble on about Quidditch. It’s always bludger this, bludger that. I honestly considered bludgeoning him myself.”

“To be fair, the man could merely breathe and you’d still find a way to be annoyed by it.”

“No one needs to inhale that much oxygen.”

“I rest my case, you mean old grump.”

You rolled your eyes affectionately. “You know, if anyone else called me that I’d poke their eye out with a fork.” Enzo chuckled as you stabbed into your bowl of noodles. “Besides, I have every right to be grumpy. It’s been a long day. Thanks to your incessant little friends.”

“I’m sorry about the guys,” he said earnestly. “I tried to talk them out of flirting with you, but they’ve got this crazy theory.”

“Oh?” You asked, raising a brow. “What’s the theory, then?”

Enzo flushed, avoiding your gaze. “They uh…” He cleared his throat and stared at his shoes. “They think you fancy me.”

“Hmm,” you hummed thoughtfully. “Maybe they’re not idiots after all. Your friends are right. I do fancy you.”

White noise rushed through his ears. Enzo’s mouth fell open as he met your gaze. Surely, he hadn’t heard you correctly.

“You alright there, peach?”

“You…” Enzo trailed off, his voice tinged with disbelief. “You like me?”

You chuckled. “I have for a bit. Thanks for finally noticing.”

“How?” Enzo muttered. “What?” He cocked his head, trying to search for the proper words. “Why?”

At the moment, it appeared that one syllable words were the full extent of his vocabulary. All those languages in his head and yet he couldn’t form a single coherent sentence.

“Enz, I know your drink order by heart,” you explained softly. “I make you cupcakes and muffins. I write you notes every day. I thought I made myself pretty obvious.”

“Gods,” he breathed, silently reprimanding himself. “I really am the most oblivious bloke in Britain.” Enzo licked his lips, turning over to look at you. “I just thought you were being nice.”

“Lorenzo, when have I ever been nice to anyone?”

“I am a bloody idiot.”

“You never made a move, so I just thought you didn’t see me that way. Which is fine, by the way. I don’t mind being friends.”

Enzo turned so fast he nearly smacked into the register. “Are you kidding? I’ve had a crush on you for months. You’re the best part of my day. Waking up and knowing that I get to see you every morning is the only thing that gets me out of bed.”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“Because,” he stated matter-of-factly. “You’re out of my league. You’re smart and funny and not to mention way too cool. Honestly, I thought you’d go for someone like Mattheo or Theo or literally anyone else but me. Someone a little more…” he trailed off, waving a hand over you.

“Scary?”

“No! Well, yes. Someone more confident and intimidating.”

“Bad boys aren’t really my type.”

He scrunched his eyebrows together in confusion. “They’re not?”

“No,” you said, setting down your food and turning over to face him. “My type is a nerdy linguistics major who teaches me how to curse in six different languages and who makes cute little conjugation charts and orders drinks that should quite frankly classify as a dessert.”

Enzo’s smile grew wider. "I like you too, you know. A lot. Like, embarrassingly so. With your grumpy little scowl and all black wardrobe and dry humor. I like all of it."

You beamed as Enzo leaned closer, tracing your lips like he was trying to commit the curves of your smile to his memory. His heart pounded in his chest as your eyes flickered up to meet his.

"Then kiss me like you mean it, Enzo."

Despite your confidence, the air left your lungs as soon as Enzo cradled your face in his hands. The twinkling lights made his brown eyes shimmer like pools of honey in the dark. The tension stretched between you as he leaned in closer, his lips brushing yours ever so gently. They briefly closed around yours—tasting, testing, taunting. Then the dam broke free.

Enzo pressed you closer and kissed you like his life depended on it. You smiled against his lips, melting into his touch as he tilted your head back for more. Butterflies erupted in your stomach as Enzo sighed into your mouth, his lips molding perfectly against yours. The once shy and experimental kisses turned needy and passionate, making you feel slightly lightheaded. Enzo savored your soft sighs, kissing you over and over again to elicit more.

It wasn't until you felt like the air had been depleted from your lungs when he finally relented. He pressed his forehead against yours, noses brushing as you both grinned at each other. It felt right to be this close. It felt like you were made to do this all along. Enzo brushed his thumb over your cheek, looking dazed as he pulled back to look at you.

“It’s about time, Berkshire.”

“Hey,” Enzo grumbled, pecking at your lips. “You can’t blame me. I couldn’t even look at you without blushing and making a fool of myself. You’re so intimidating.”

“Not so scary now, am I?”

“Oh no, I’m still terrified of you. But I’ve also seen you cry during the Notebook, so I know that deep down inside, you’re just a big softie.”

You started to protest, but Enzo just leaned in and kissed you again. With his lips pressed against yours, you couldn’t even remember what you were about to say. As he pulled you into his lap, you heard cheers coming from outside. Behind the glass window, his friends were cheering and wolf-whistling rather obnoxiously on the street.

Enzo responded by flicking them off and kissing you even harder, pressing your bodies together as you giggled. He hauled you to your feet, his arms circling around your waist as he dipped you for a better angle. Your back hit the counter as you raised to your tiptoes, winding your arms around his neck and mussing up his hair as you arched for more. The hollering only grew more incessant when Enzo grabbed your ass and squeezed. The groan that escaped from his mouth made you dizzy with desire.

If one kiss could elicit such a response out of you, it was almost scary to think what else Enzo had in his arsenal. A cheeky little smile curved against his lips as though he knew exactly what you were thinking. You basked under the warmth of his gaze, feeling flushed and flustered. That pretty face had you entirely fooled. Enzo was far from innocent.

“Gods, I really fucking fancy you.”

With a smile, you kissed the tip of his nose. “I really fucking fancy you too, peach.”

Despite the many languages in Enzo's arsenal, no phrase or saying could convey how he felt better than his lips against yours. Maybe he hadn't quite mastered the language of love, but he had a feeling that you'd be more than willing to teach him.

#my pretty boy give me coffee shop shy enzo #lorenzo berkshire #enzo berkshire #enzo berkshire x reader #enzo berkshire x you #enzo berkshire imagine #lorenzo berkshire x reader #lorenzo berkshire imagine #lorenzo berkshire x you #lorenzo berkshire smut #lorenzo berkshire fluff

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outsideratheart · 6 months ago

Note

“I almost lost you.” with Leah Williamson

Leah Williamson was the woman for you. There was a lot in this world you didn’t know but this is one thing you were sure about.

Throughout the years you have been together you had experienced many ups and downs both on the pitch and off it but there was one moment that stuck out.

Back in 2019 Arsenal got an offer for Lyon that was too good to turn down. Never did you think you would leave Arsenal and your girlfriend but the temptation was there and it filled you with guilt. Talks happened between you and the french team but you kept them a secret from your girlfriend. In the end you chose your relationship over your career.

It’s how you found yourself experiencing an intense case of Deja Vu. For you Arsenal wasn’t the same as it once was and with your contract coming to an end, teams began making offers once again. Only this time you told your manager to reject every single one of them. Maybe your love of the team was deteriorating but your relationship wasn’t. You and Leah had just bought you forever home and you leaving wasn’t part of your 5 year plan.

“Is everything ok?” Leah asked as you walked into the kitchen where she was making herself, and now you, a cup for tea.

You didn’t answer. You couldn’t. Once again you had been asked to stay behind to work do extra training at the request of Jonas.

With the small amount of energy you have left you hoist yourself up onto the kitchen side.

Leah hands you a freshly brewed tea and takes her place between your legs. She watches as you place the cup aside without taking a sip.

“You never turn down a cup for tea. Something must be wrong” Leah slight chuckle soon came to an end when she saw your face drop.

Your mind was screaming in frustration but you remain silent. The only sign of response Leah gets is when you tilt your head back in attempt to avoid eye contact.

“We just need to finish this season and get it over with”

Never had Leah heard you talk about football in such a way. You spoke about it like it was a chore when normally you have a smile that spreads from ear to ear.

“You can leave Y/N. I know that—“ Leah begins to talk but you don’t let her finish her sentence.

“No, no ,no. I’m not leaving, I haven’t even taken any meetings. I promise you Leah, I haven’t”

Leah has known your departure from the club you both grew up in was imminent. She could play for Arsenal until the day she retired but the same could not be said about you. You deserved to reach your full potential and that wouldn’t happen at Arsenal.

“I know about the offers” Leah hands rub up and down your thighs. She watched as you visibly tense up at the mention of other clubs.

“I turned them down straight away”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have”

“It was the right decision for our future. Last time I…..I almost lost you”

It wasn’t an easy thing to remember. You and Leah were screaming at each other and it ended with her walking out. She didn’t return to your apartments for 3 days and they were the longest days of your life.

‘Y/N” Leah waited for you to look at her and after a few seconds you did “It wasn’t you moving that did that. It was that you kept it from me”

“I don’t know what to do. I’m not happy at Arsenal but I know that I’ll be even more miserable if I am away from you”

“What we are going to do is talk about it. You are going to be honest with me about how you are feeling and then you can tell me which city I will be visiting on my days off”

“I’ll grab the biscuits, you grab the drinks?” You ask with a smirk on your face.

“Sure” Leah steals a quick kiss “See, we will still be a team off the pitch”

#Leah Williamson x reader #Leah Williamson imagine #leah Williamson one shot #Woso x reader #woso imagine #woso one shot #arsenal wfc x reader #awfc x reader #Engwnt x reader

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viceroywrites · 3 months ago

Text

deja vu - part four

planning out your road trip through the pacific northwest, you find yourself inexplicably drawn to the town of gravity falls.

little did you know that this town held more memories than you could have possibly imagined.

too bad you didn't remember any of them.

stan x fem!reader / ford x fem!reader

choose your own adventure / contains fluff and angst (w/ happy ending)

part three | part five (stan route) | part five (ford route)

Ford woke up the next morning with a slight pep in his step. Usually, he spent most evenings tossing and turning before finally being able to rest or waking up in the middle of the night unable to fall back asleep. However, last evening, he was able to sleep soundly.

Perhaps it was the prospect of getting to take you anomaly hunting, getting to reshow you all his findings and re-experience the wonder in your eyes as you took it all in.

Perhaps it was the fact that he got to say good night to you after all these years, a tired smile across your face that looked truly radiant to him.

Perhaps it was the polaroid that he clutched closed to his chest that evening, recounting the scent of your perfume that you wore that night as he buried himself into your neck, his cheeks flushed from the alcohol.

Whatever the reason, he felt well rested and raring to start the day. The scent of strongly brewed coffee wafted in the air as he made his way to the kitchen. He assumed Stanley must have gotten up before him and was excited to share how yesterday went with his brother.

As he got closer, he could hear his brother’s gravely voice speaking to someone. Ford was surprised by this considering the kids usually were asleep still, opting to sleep in during their summer break.

Maybe it was Soos or maybe his brother is just rambling to himself, Ford thinks as he finally rounds the corner.

The sight before him catches him off guard.

You and Stan sat close together at the kitchen table, shoulder to shoulder, two mugs filled with coffee already by your sides. Spread across the table was what looked like a map to a campground with red circles dotted across, the red marker laying at the edge of the table. You were dressed in pajamas but Ford immediately recognized Stan’s brown leather jacket on your shoulders that envelops your frame.

“You’re telling me I��ve lived here for 30-something years and there was gold right there!” Stan exclaims, his finger pressed against a spot on the map that you had marked with a star.

You chuckle against your mug as you take a sip of your coffee, “You could have been swimming in gold all these years. We’ll have to see if there’s any left at that lake in particular though.”

“Oh, there better be! I got 30 years of gold to catch up on!” Stan says, rubbing his hands together in excitement.

Ford clears his throat, making his presence known as he stands with his hands behind his back.

You both look up to see Ford, and you immediately get up, excited to share your plans with him. “Morning, Ford, come join us. You’ll never guess what me and Stan planned for today!” You say, heading over to the coffee pot and pouring some into a mug, “But first, coffee, right?”

“That would be lovely, Y/N. Thank you.” Ford replies, pulling up a chair to your left. His tense expression softens at the sight of you so energized with a wide albeit tired smile across your face. You walk over to him with the mug, handing it off, your fingertips brushing against his before you pull away once it’s in his grasp.

“You take your coffee black, right? I think that’s what I remember but let me know if I got that completely wrong.” You admit with a sheepish grin to which Ford shakes his head. “No, you’re correct.”

“So I was a bit bummed out that my camping gear was going to go to waste last night so Stan suggested we all go on a quick camping trip.” You begin explaining, taking a seat, “There’s a campground about thirty minutes out that has a hiking trail, a lake, and it’s a great place for stargazing at night.” You push the map in front of Ford, pointing out each of the details. “Most importantly, there’s gold.” Stan interjects, pointing at the star.

Ford rolls his eyes at his brother’s antics, still perplexed on why his jacket was on your shoulders. ”You know you have to pan for the gold, Stanley, it isn’t just laying there for you to take.” He says tersely, causing Stan to blink at the sudden edge in his brother’s voice.

“Yeah, I know, Poindexter. I know I’m not the brains of the two of us but I wasn’t born yesterday.” Stan says, wondering what had his brother so bothered. His eyes look over at you and immediately it hits him in the face.

Oh shit.

The jacket.

“So… what do you think? ” You ask, leaning forward expectantly. As Ford looks into your eyes, he sees the joy in them that he can’t bear to take away from you.

Maybe anomaly hunting and restoring your memories could wait a day.

“I think it’s an excellent plan, I’d love to go, I’m assuming the kids are coming along,” Ford says, looking over at Stan with a raised eyebrow. “Of course, they’re coming! They’ve been itching to get out of the Shack more often, especially Dipper since Mabel’s been hanging out with her friends this whole week.” Stan scoffs, getting up to pour himself more coffee.

“Yay!” You grin, enveloping Ford into a quick hug out of pure excitement before shrugging off the jacket as you get up from your chair, “I’m just going to double check we have all the camping gear we need, might need to stop by the store for smores and food obviously.” You exit the kitchen, grabbing your keys from the counter to take an inventory of the gear.

Ford’s cheeks are bright red at the sudden sign of affection to which Stan snickers at, “Your cheeks are matching your sweater, Ford.”

“Haha, very funny, Stanley. You’re not off the hook.” Ford says, attempting to calm the flush of his cheeks by pressing his normally cold hands against them, “Mind explaining to me why she was wearing your jacket?”

Stan’s posture straightens in response and he groans, “Jeez, I didn’t peg you to be the jealous type. Look, last night, she was up on the rooftop in just her pajamas. Said she had a bad dream. I felt bad because she was shivering, ma raised us to treat a lady with respect so I offered her my jacket. If anything, you should thank me - otherwise she would have gotten hypothermia.”

“That’s statistically impossible, Stanley, given the weather conditions in the summer.” Ford attempts to explain but drops it as he sees his brother’s “really?” look. Ford continues on with his question, “But what’s this about a bad dream? Did she give you any details? You know we discovered that her dreams may actually be her memories but with bits and pieces missing.”

“Nah, she didn’t say anything else.” Stan shrugged, “Didn’t wanna pry, though it was bad enough that she had to go up on the roof to get some fresh air.”

“I guess I’ll see if she’d be open to talking about it today,” Ford sighs, wondering if you’re starting to get your memories back of when Ford was deep into his research… and his involvement with Bill. He had to admit there was a selfish wish that he hoped those memories would not start resurfacing until you two had gotten closer.

Stan observes his twin’s brows furrow and sighs, nudging Ford on the side. “Hey, I know that look. You’re overthinking this… let’s just enjoy today alright? She’s here for the next week or so, the least you could do is make new memories with her.” This snaps Ford out of his ruminations and he sighs, his shoulders relaxing, “You’re right.”

“And hey, at least if you make new memories-” Stan cuts himself off, ready to counter Ford’s argument to defend his stance before grinning, “Wait, what did you say? Did you actually say I was right?”

“Yes, you’re right, Stan.” Ford groans, crossing his arms as he knows his brother is relishing in this moment.

“Give me one second.” Stan says, stepping out of the kitchen. Ford wonders where his brother is going before Stan comes back with an object in his hand, “Okay, say that one more time.”

“Stanley, I’m not going to say it again so you can record it on that voice recorder and play it back over and over again.”

“Aw, come on!”

After the kids wake up, you share the plans with them, beaming as they seem elated to get out of the house and go on an adventure with their Grunkles and you.

“It’s like the road trip we took last summer except we aren’t stopping at all those tourist attractions that Grunkle Stan tried to get revenge on.” Mabel comments in between bites of pancakes.

“Yeah, and he doesn’t get captured and almost eaten by that spider lady he was hitting on.” Dipper interjects.

You and Ford look at Stan with raised eyebrows.

“What? There's stiff competition in the tourist trap industry, so I had to show 'em who’s top dog! Also, she was a very pretty spider lady.” Stan defended himself.

Wrapping up breakfast, you all disperse to get ready - the kids head upstairs to pack their duffel bags for the overnight trip, and Stan heads outside to change out your car battery before swinging by the store to grab the remaining supplies. As you’re packing up your backpack, you hear a knock at the door and turn your head to see Ford, his own bag slung over his shoulder.

It was the first time you were seeing him in different attire since you arrived two days ago, wearing a yellow button-up with the sleeves rolled up, a white undershirt and a pair of dark jeans, forgoing his usual red turtleneck and black pants.

“Changing up the look for today?” You comment on the difference, your eyes roaming up and down to assess the outfit. You had to admit, he looked really handsome... not that he didn't usually.

“Well, it probably would be a bit impractical to wear a turtleneck on a hike considering we’re not hiking in the mountains.” Ford explained, tugging at his collar.

In reality, Mabel had stormed into his room whilst he was packing, insisting he had to wear something to impress you and this was their compromise.

“That’s fair, I’m sure you’d be sweating up a storm after the first mile.” You chuckle before shooting him a compliment with a sincere smile, “You look really nice, Ford.”

Ford stammers in response, his cheeks red, “Uh… why thank you.. You do too, though you always look nice..” He fumbles over his words. At 60 years of age, here he is, bumbling like a fool, feeling like a middle schooler trying to ask out his crush.

Your laughter sounds sweet to his ears as you can’t help but giggle at his awkward charm. “Thank you, Ford, that’s sweet of you. You ready to head out?” You swiftly change the topic in order to save him from further embarrassment.

“Y-Yes! Let’s get going, I think the kids are ready.” Ford says, following you out.

The five of you end up piling into your car, able to stuff all your bags into the trunk with the camping gear in the cargo box on your roof rack. The seating situation ended up being a bit of an issue, Mabel and Dipper piling into the back automatically but both Stan and Ford reach for the passenger door.

“I gotta sit in the front to navigate, Ford.” Stan explained, holding up the map to the campsite in his hand.

Unable to argue with that logic, Ford begrudgingly gets in the back with Mabel and Dipper.

The next half an hour of the drive along the Redwood Highway is filled with Stan pointing out each of the other tourist traps, sharing stories of how they pranked the Mystery Shack, including a time where they taped Soos to the ceiling, and Mabel and Dipper teaching Ford the game Punch Buggy.

“Who invented this game? It’s pure torture!” Ford groans, his arm sore after Mabel and Dipper had socked him a few times in a row.

“Grunkle Ford, I think you just need to improve your reaction times.” Dipper chuckles.

Finally arriving at the campground, you are grateful to see that there were plenty of spots still open, opting for one with a firepit nearby the lake. The moment you parked, the kids ran out, taking in the sight of the crystal clear lake and roaming around to explore the campground.

“Let’s set up the tents before we head out for the hike to the stream. I know we’re gonna be tired after it and get lazy.” You explain to Stan and Ford who nod and follow your lead as you open up the cargo box, grabbing the tents and handing them both one to set up while you put up the hammock and canopy.

“Uhh, Y/N, are two tents going to be enough for all of us?” Stan asked as he began to hammer the spikes into the ground. You nod, “Yeah, one of them is pretty roomy so at least three people should be able to fit inside.”

Unfortunately, you had overestimated how much room was in the bigger tent as Ford and Stan tested it out themselves, only an inch of room left over.

“Well… I guess I’ll just sleep under the stars tonight, not a big deal.” You glance over at the hammock, grateful you brought it with.

“Are you sure? You’ll be eaten alive by mosquitos out here.” Ford says with concern.

“I have a mosquito net in the hammock, thankfully. I can also douse myself in bug spray before I sleep for extra precaution.” You explain, lifting the hammock to reveal a net that you could zip up to shield you from the bugs.

“It’s your tent, Y/N. I’ll just sleep in the hammock, you and Ford can take the tent.” Stan offers, “Besides, I snore… loud. I don’t think anyone wants to be stuck in a tent with me.”

You mull over the offer before smiling graciously, “Alright, thanks for offering, Stan. I’m gonna go find the kids and we’ll head out for the hike.” You walk away. Once your back is faced away from the twins, Stan grins mischievously at his brother, “You know it might get awfully cold at night.. Make sure to keep ‘em warm.” Ford’s face turns red, swiftly elbowing his brother in the ribs.

“Ow! Why’d you have to elbow my good rib?!”

After finding Dipper and Mabel, you all begin your hike to the stream where Stan wanted to pan for gold. The massive trees that towered above you provided much needed shade as you followed the trail. Along the way, Ford would make commentary on the various flora, listing off facts off the top of his head despite studying them years ago.

“How does he know all of this? I work in the Parks and I don’t even know this much.” You mutter out loud in awe. Stan chuckles, “Ford’s practically a walking encyclopedia. I’m sure he talked your ear off back in the day..” You recall the memory of your first time meeting Ford that had finally returned yesterday, sitting in front of him as he easily explained the theory surrounding seismic refractions with ease, like he had spent the last 20 years of his life studying it.

“Yeah… he kinda did. But I don’t think I minded, I get the sense that he gets passionate about the things he loves. There’s like a spark in his eyes when he gets to just share his knowledge to someone who’s willing to listen.” You admit with a smile. “Yeah, I never really understood what he was talking about half the time… but I get what you mean.” Stan comments fondly.

“Y/N, look at this cool rock I found! It’s kinda funny looking.” Mabel says, running up to you with a rock with several ridges and grooves. Stan looks at the rock himself, “Looks kinda like the mole I got on my back.” to which Mabel groans at the mental image.

You laugh softly at Mabel’s reaction, taking the rock from her as she hands it off to you to examine before you recognize it, “Well, actually, this funny looking rock actually has a gemstone inside of it - if you’d wanna see?” You explain with a grin.

Mabel’s eyes light up and she nods eagerly, “Can I crack it open?” You chuckle at her enthusiasm, handing her the rock, “Of course. Luckily, I brought some of my excavating tools with me.” You rummage through your backpack before pulling out a wooden hammer for her to use.

You had a pickaxe but you had the hindsight to not give a 13-year-old a metal tool that she could easily poke her eye out with.

“Go crazy, Mabel.” You encourage her and she takes your lead, placing it down on the ground and giving it a swift wack. This catches Dipper and Ford’s attention as Ford was in the middle of explaining to Dipper the various types of mushrooms that gnomes use for homes.

The rock split open, revealing the shiny interior. You reach down to pick it up, showing Mabel the different layers of quartz. “This gemstone is actually called a thunderegg. Funny name for a funny looking rock, I guess, but all of them have different patterns depending on how long they’ve been here.” You explain, handing it back to Mabel, “When we get back to the Mystery Shack, I can polish it for you so it shines a little bit better.”

She puts it up to the sun, watching it sparkle as the light refracts off the quartz. “It can get shinier than this?!” Mabel exclaims excitedly to which you chuckled, “It certainly can!” She glances between the gemstone and the sunstone that hangs on your neck, “Could you show me how to get it on a necklace like you have yours? I have a bunch of string and craft stuff at the Shack we can use!”

You clear your throat, “Actually Mabel, you might want to ask your Grunkle Ford. After all, he’s the one who made this for me.” You admit with a shy smile.

“Grunkle Ford, you old softie! I didn’t know you could make something like that!” Mabel says as she turns to Ford with a teasing grin, almost squealing in delight. Ford rubs the back of his neck bashfully, “Well, I do like to dabble in artistic endeavors every now and then. Though I’ve only ever done a project like this for Y/N.” He admitted.

You find your own cheeks getting warm, grabbing the necklace and glancing down at it with a sudden fondness. You look up to see Ford staring at you in a pining manner before quickly looking away, suddenly engrossed in the mushrooms at his feet.

“Alright, you two, let’s get moving! We’re burning daylight here and I need to get to this gold as soon as possible before these greedy suckers get to it first!” Stan’s voice cuts through the moment, though his expression was more amused than annoyed.

“R-Right!” Both you and Ford stutter, picking up the pace.

You finally make it to the stream, watching in amusement as Stan immediately begins to roll up his pants the moment it comes into view.

“Alright, pan me, Y/N!” Stan says, placing his hand out. You roll your eyes playfully, reaching into your backpack to grab some pans you had snagged from a gold panning site during one of your shifts at the Parks. You handed it over to Stan before holding up the two other ones you had, “You wanna help your Grunkle get some gold?” You ask Dipper and Mabel.

“Oh, I’ll help but this’ll be my stash, Grunkle Stan!” Mabel grins, taking a pan and kicking off her socks and shoes to join Stan in the stream. Dipper quickly follows behind Mabel and you get ready to join them in the water, kicking off your sandals before pausing as Ford takes a seat on a nearby log.

“You’re not gonna join us, Ford?” You ask, rolling up your pants up to your calves. Ford shakes his head, placing his bag next to him, “I’m going to catch up on some reading, go enjoy yourself, Y/N.”

“More gold for us then!” Stan says, shaking the pan in the water. You’re distracted by Dipper and Mabel’s laughter, coming behind the two of them. You crouch down, grabbing a clump full of mud and rocks beneath a larger boulder and placing it into the pans. You demonstrate how to properly pan for gold, letting the two of them shake the dirt loose. You feel a splash against your side and look over to see Stan shaking the pan a little too aggressively.

“Whoa, pump the breaks, you might be losing out on gold shaking it like that.” You say, walking over to Stan as the twins seem to have the hang of it. You lean over, pressing up against Stan’s side as your hands cup underneath his. “Once you have most of the dirt out, you want to be a little bit more gentle with your agitation or else the gold will come out.”

Your hands guide Stan’s, shaking the pan with a bit more delicacy, letting the water wash out the remaining dirt to reveal large flecks of gold. “Now we’re talking!” Stan says excitedly, accessing the gold. He looks back up at you with a sheepish smile, “Uh.. thanks for helping me out.” You shoot him a warm smile, “No problem, didn’t want your efforts to go to waste. Besides, it looks like you got some catching up to do!” You nod your head over to Dipper’s pan which sparkles with gold.

Stan wasn’t sure whether his heart beat racing was because of his excitement over the gold or from having you up so close to him.

He tries to push the thought, not wanting to dwell on the weird feeling as he takes the challenge, throwing more clumps of mud into his pan, “Oh it is on!”

Ford watches from afar, a journal precariously propped up on his leg as he sketches out the scene before him - you with your hair tied up, clutching your stomach as you laugh at the antics of his family. He smiles fondly as the real reason he wanted to watch was to be able to have the opportunity to sketch you.

When he started the journals, they were mostly dedicated to his research though he had a fleeting thought every now and then to sketch you into a few entries as you helped him with several of his discoveries.

There was also a part of him wanting to relish in this and have his own memories to look back on, knowing how fleeting this moment was and how uncertain the road ahead of getting your memories back was.

“Grunkle Ford, look at all the gold Dipper and I got!” Mabel ran up to him, holding her pan with a decent amount of gold. Dipper follows behind her, noticing that his great uncle was sketching something in a journal. His eyes lit up in curiosity, “Did you see an anomaly out here, Grunkle Ford?”

Ford looked up from his sketch, taken aback by Dipper’s question, “No, I was just sketching some of the scenery!” Mabel’s eyes narrow and she looks over at Dipper with a skeptical look that he returns. The two of them rush to Ford’s side, Mabel’s hand slamming on the sketchbook to keep Ford from shutting it. They both look down to see the detailed drawing of you and Mabel squeals loudly, causing you and Stan to look over.

“Everything ok over there?” You ask, pulling out the bits of gold from Stan’s pan and collecting them in a pail you had brought with you. “Y-yes, everything’s fine over here!” Ford stammers. You look over at Stan who simply shrugs, “I stopped asking a long time ago.”

When you turn your attention back to Stan, Ford lets out a sigh of relief before starting back at Mabel’s wide grin and Dipper’s amused smile. “So that’s why you didn’t wanna join us in the water.” Dipper pointed out. “Grunkle Ford, you should totally show her! She would love this!!” Mabel suggests excitedly.

“Unfortunately, I don’t think that would be the best idea, Mabel.” Ford explains with a sad smile, patting Mabel’s head as she deflates in disappointment, “I fear that it might scare her away if I’m too forward with my feelings. I caused her a lot of pain before and I wouldn’t want to put her in an even more uncomfortable situation when she regains all her memories… but maybe if she gives me a second chance, I’ll show it to her.” Mabel slightly brightens up with a smile, nodding.

The twins head back into the water, depositing their gold into the pail before starting back up. Somehow, panning for gold had turned into a splashing contest after Mabel accidentally sloshed her pan too aggressively, causing it to hit Dipper in the back. Splashes were exchanged back and forth in a playful manner with Stan and you managing to get caught in the crossfire.

“Oh you two are going to get it!” Stan says in a menacing tone, using his pan to splash them back in retaliation. Laughter filled the stream, and you glance over your shoulder to see Ford completely dry with his nose in the journal. You walk up, wringing out the water from your top. “Looks like you’re doing more writing than reading.” You point out with a grin.

Ford shuts his journal immediately at the sound of your voice, placing it back into his bag swiftly, “S-Sorry, I tend to get engrossed in whatever I’m doing.” He looks up finally to see your clothes completely wet and blinks, “You’re soaking wet, Y/N.” You chuckle, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the water, “Yeah, and you’re completely dry so let’s change that.”

“Y-Y/N, wait a second, I-!” Ford’s protest is cut off the moment you tug him forward a bit too forcefully. He loses balance on his feet, causing him to fall forward… with you tumbling down with him. Your back hits the water, causing a huge splash to which Stan and the twins turn around to look at. You look up to see Ford on top of you, his arms on either side of your head with a look of concern etched across his features.

“Y/N, are you alright?” Ford frets over you, not realizing the compromising position you’re both in. Heat blooms into your cheeks at the sight, the fabric of Ford’s shirt now damp and clinging to his shoulders and chest. You begin to sit up, causing Ford to back away. “I-I’m alright, sorry for tugging you so hard.” You mutter, eyes widening as Ford cradles the back of your head, his own eyes assessing your face carefully. “Um, Ford, what are you doing?”

“Well, I have to check for bruises or lacerations. Traumatic head injuries are no joke, Y/N. Now follow my finger with your eyes.” Ford instructs, placing his index finger in front of your eyes and moving it up and down and side to side. You follow his instructions but get distracted by a flash in your peripheral vision.

Ford and you look over to see Mabel with a camera in her hand, a wide grin spread across her cheeks, “That’s definitely going in the scrapbook!”

After making your way back to the campsite, Stan got started on a fire to help everyone warm up while your wet clothes hung on the tree nearby. Thankfully, you all brought a change of clothes, slipping on a sweater over your shirt as you step out of you and Ford’s tent.

You blinked, seeing Stan sitting alone on a log next to the fire, stoking the flames with a large stick.

“Where’s Ford and the kids?” You ask, looking around as Ford and the twins were nowhere to be found. You approach the fire, letting out a sigh of satisfaction as the flame warms your hands as you extend them outward.

“Apparently what I thought was a mosquito was actually a fairy. Almost swatted it before Ford stopped me.” Stan said, swinging around the bug zapper he brought. “Ford went to go see with the kids if there were more nearby.”

“A fairy? I know Ford mentioned there were anomalies out here but I didn’t expect them to be straight out of a fantasy novel..” You said in surprise, taking a seat next to Stan and grabbing a Pitt Cola out of the cooler near his feet.

“Oh you think that’s bad? There’s tons more apparently.. My memories of all of ‘em haven’t quite come back but I found a gnome in our backyard just this past week if that tells ya anything.” Stan chuckled, taking a sip of his own drink.

“Well, I guess I’ll have to see what else is out there. Ford mentioned wanting to bring me anomaly hunting one day while I’m here.” You comment, curious if there were more threatening anomalies out there considering Ford had mentioned wanting to take you on a safer one.

“Of course Poindexter suggested anomaly hunting as a date.” Stan snickers.

“I wouldn’t call it a date, I’m sure he’ll want to bring Dipper and Mabel along like he did tonight.” You say.

“I doubt it, he’s been wanting to get one-on-one time with you any chance he gets. Thought he was ready to fight me earlier when I rode in the front with you.” Stan scoffed, tossing another piece of dry wood into the fire.

You watch as the flames grow before your eyes, the smoke pluming into the sky. Bringing your knees up to your chest as you hug them, you ask Stan about his brother, “What was Ford like… before you guys reconnected? Did he do something that caused your guys’ relationship to be rocky?”

Stan’s body stills at your question, placing his Pitt Cola down and leaning back with his hands holding him up. “Why do you ask?”

“It’s just…” You take a breath, your brows knitting together to find the right words, “Even though our first impression… I guess second impression since obviously we knew each other.. Either way, it was pretty bad. But he’s shown me that he can be kind and thoughtful. I just can’t wrap my head around how he could be capable of hurting me in the way that he describes.”

Stan stares back at you, a conflicted look in his eyes, and you stare down at the ground, embarrassment running over you, “Sorry, I shouldn’t be bringing this up.. He’s your brother for god’s sake and I’m asking you these probing questions about him behind his back.”

“No… I get why you’re asking them.” Stan finally responds, causing you to look up. His hand rests on his neck, rubbing it in thought, “From what I remember, Ford and I growing up were like two peas in a pod. Inseparable. I did something stupid when I was a teenager that pretty much sabotaged Ford’s chance into his dream school.”

“Guess some good came out of that… obviously he met you.” Stan says, staring back at you finally. “We didn’t talk... for ten years after that. Honestly, those years in between when we didn’t talk are still pretty blurry but I can tell you that when he finally reached back out, it wasn’t for the reasons I had hoped.”

“Were they selfish reasons?” You ask, trying to understand how they just recently made up if they reunited over thirty years ago.

Stan explains, “In a way. You see, Ford got in his head way too much. He still kinda does but back then, we got into a huge fight after he pretty much pushed me away again. Told me to take his research and go as far away from him as possible. It felt like he cared more about his research more than anything else. More than himself. More than me.”

“He did tell me he pushed away the people who cared about him the most in his pursuit to prove his worth. I guess we were those people, including Fiddleford.” You reflect before asking the main question on your mind, “I still don’t get what happened between you guys reuniting back then and then just making up this past summer.”

Stan pauses before sighing as he pinches the bridge of the nose, “I was hoping Poindexter was going to be the one to explain all this portal nonsense to you but I guess I’ll try my best.”

Stan proceeds to explain in the most condensed and simplistic way he can the background behind Ford’s research, building the portal and how his brother got sucked into the portal after Stan pushed him into it by accident during their fight and was stuck in another dimension until last summer.

You stare back at Stan like he has two heads, wondering if Ford bribed him with a couple bucks to prank you with this elaborate tale straight out of a sci-fi movie.

“Yeah, that’s the exact same look I had on my face when Ford told me about the portal.” Stan chuckles, watching as you digest the information.

“So Ford’s been literally trapped in another dimension for the past 30 years?” You finally speak, your brain moving on from denial to confusion.

“Yup. You ever notice he speaks kinda prim and proper all the time, it’s by choice but also because he’s thirty years behind on any slang or pop culture reference.” Stan shares before staring at you intensely, “Don’t get me started about his reaction when Dipper told him Pluto wasn’t a planet anymore.”

“Wait a second, this portal…” You get up from your seat on the log, heading back into you and Ford’s tent before coming back with your small black journal. Stan stares at the journal and shakes his head in disbelief, “No wonder you and my brother dated.”

You roll your eyes, choosing to ignore the comment before flipping to a specific page and opening it up to Stan, “Did the portal look like this?”

Stan stares at the paper, squinting his eyes as he looks at your rough drawing of the portal before nodding, “Yeah, that’s the portal, alright.”

“So that’s what Ford was working on in my dreams… it was the portal that he thought was going to be the answer to his research.” You say, the realization hitting you as you stare down at the drawing, “Maybe this portal is the reason we parted ways.“ You were beginning to put pieces of you and Ford’s history together, it was becoming more and more clear

Stan wonders if he might have shared too much with you, seeing the gears turning in your head. Maybe he should have held his tongue, waited for Ford to explain all this stuff to you since he usually had the answers.

You place a hand on his broad shoulder, interrupting his thoughts, “Hey Stan… sorry for putting you on the spot but I really appreciate it. I feel like I understand what’s happening in my dreams way more.” You pause before saying, “It also helps to know that Ford didn’t just push me away but other people during that time.”

Stan’s shoulders visibly relax and he feels a sense of comfort in your touch. “No problem, glad I could explain it in a non-sciencey way. Trust me, when Ford explained it to me, half the stuff he said flew right over my head.”

You both hear footsteps approaching and turn around to see Ford carrying a mason jar that contained a pink fairy that fluttered around in confusion with Mabel and Dipper trailing by his side.

“Y/N, look at this fairy!” Mabel says excitedly, running up to you.

You approach Ford, crouching down to observe the fairy. Your eyes widen in intrigue, watching as there is a distinct trail of glitter that follows it as it flutters about. You glance up at Ford, “Is the fairy gonna be okay in there?”

Ford rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, “I’ll release it, Mabel insisted we catch one to bring back to show you.”

“This is your first time seeing an anomaly, right, Y/N?” Dipper asks, curious if you remember any of the anomalies you saw with his great uncle when he first started his research.

“Well, first time that I can remember at least. Your Grunkle Stan was telling me there are apparently gnomes that live near the Mystery Shack.” You chuckle, placing your hands on the jar.

“Those gnomes kinda still creep me out to this day..” Mabel commented, now sitting next to Stan with a skewer stacked with marshmallows to put over the fire.

You look over at Ford for an explanation who simply shrugs and Dipper chimes in, “They.. uh tried to marry Mabel and make her their gnome queen.”

First, the fairy, then Ford getting trapped in an interdimensional portal, and now, this.

You wonder how many more crazy reveals your brain could take in a single day.

“Wanna do the honors and release it?” Ford asks, handing the jar off to you. You take it cautiously, slowly opening the lid and wincing as you pull back the lid. The fairy immediately bursts out, leaving a trail of pink dust behind as it flies into the night sky.

You glance back at Stan and raise an eyebrow, “How did you think that was a mosquito?”

Ford chuckled at your question, “I was thinking the same thing when he almost fried it with his bug zapper.”

“My vision isn't the greatest, okay? I got cataracts!”

You, Ford and the kids laugh, coming together in front of the fire. You were shoulder to shoulder with Stan and Ford, Mabel sitting on the ground in front of you while you braided her hair and Dipper being in charge of roasting both him and Mabel’s marshmallows after she lit hers on fire.

You come to find out that Stan’s talent to spin an elaborate tale translates well into telling spooky ghost stories by the fire, wriggling his fingers and using his hands to help emphasize his points. Surprisingly, he ends up having a captivated audience, even Ford listening in amusement with his arms crossed.

Seeing the kids starting to yawn and their eyes getting heavier after a few hours, you all decide to call it for the evening. Stan and Ford work on stamping out the flames as you walk over to Dipper and Mabel’s tent, making sure they have their flashlights on them in case of a late night bathroom run before zipping up their tent.

Out in the woods, the dark sky above is littered with stars. With the light source of the flames gone, the constellations in the sky are even more clear. Ford watches you staring up at the night sky in awe. He recalls the nights where the two of you would sit on the roof where you most likely sat with his brother the other evening, noting all the various constellations.

He wonders if you remember his favorite ones or if just by association to the memory of him, they’ve been wiped clean from your brain.

Ford approaches you, his eyes glancing up at the wondrous view above the both of you, “Beautiful, isn’t it?”

“It really is…” You reply with a smile, “I haven’t seen them this clearly in years. Usually light pollution ends up making it hard to them at all.”

“Do you have a favorite constellation?” Ford asks though he already knows the answer.

Perseus.

“Perseus is my favorite.” You answer, extending your arm outward to point it out to Ford. His eyes follow your finger to the constellation, staring up at it. Not that he needed you to point it out for him, he often would look up the stars during his travels with Stanley and find it.

Wondering if you were out there somewhere staring at it as well.

“The Hero Constellation… a great choice.” Ford hums before letting out a yawn.

“Getting past your bedtime?” You tease, causing Ford to laugh softly.

“You know I’m not that much older than you, Y/N. You’re making me feel like an old geezer.” Ford banters back.

Stan pats you both on the shoulder, “Well, this old geezer is gonna hit the hay. I didn’t get any sleep last night since we spent the whole night planning this.” He starts approaching the hammock before staring at it with his hands on his hips before looking back at you.

“Hey, uh, how do I get in this thing?” He asks.

Ford slaps his forehead and you roll your eyes mirthfully, walking over to show Stan how to get into the hammock.

“You can head to bed, Ford. This might.. take a while.” You tell Ford, trailing off as you watch Stan attempt to put his foot in and almost flip the hammock over.

Ford nods, despite wanting to wait up for you, he knew it would be infinitely more awkward trying to fall asleep with you laying right there in front of him. “I’ll sleep on the further side so you don’t have to step over me on your way into the tent. Good night, Y/N.” He says.

“Good night, Ford.” You reply with a wave as you try to hold the fabric of the hammock taut to give Stan enough stability to slip inside.

“Yeah, good night to you too, Ford.” Stan calls out wryly to which Ford proceeds to flick off his brother playfully before slipping into the tent.

After assisting Stan into the hammock and helping put the mosquito net over him, you slip into you and Ford’s tent. You try to move as carefully as possible, not wanting to disturb Ford who laid inside a sleeping bag on the other side of the tent. You glance over, seeing Ford sleeping peacefully next to you.

You notice he still has his glasses on and you reach over carefully, slipping them off gingerly. Ford slightly stirs which causes you to halt your movements before his breath evens out again, showing that he was still deep in sleep. You place his glasses off to the side and finally slip into your sleeping bag.

Your eyelids grow heavy the moment your head rests on the pillow, the lack of sleep from the night before catching up to you. You drift to sleep, not thinking about what dream might await you this evening.

The sensation of the metal desk presses against the small of your back. You feel like a mouse cornered by a cat, Ford’s frame towering over you as your hands are pinned down. A lump forms in your throat as you stare back at the man you love, his eyes bright yellow and his pupils narrow.

“So you’re Bill?” You say cautiously.

You had seen Bill briefly move into Ford’s mind to help him solve an equation that had stumped him or share a finding to help with his research but never fully taking control of his body.

“That’s me, I’m sure Ford’s told you all about me..” Bill grins, “After all, I am his muse.”

You bristle at the term, the exact reaction Bill had hoped for to get under your skin.

You listened to Ford go on and on about how amazing his muse was, how he helped ease his mind, how he understood him like no one else did.

All while you stood there, feeling insignificant as each day went on.

A shudder ran down your spine as a cold hand reached up to cup your chin, tilting your head side to side while Bill’s eyes assessed you like a specimen in a lab, “Listen, Y/N, you’re becoming a bit of a distraction to old Fordsy.”

“Distraction? What do you mean?” You say defensively.

“Every time you try to get him to go to bed, every time you and that hillbilly try to goof around and pull him away from his work, it delays him finishing this portal.” Bill points out.

“He’s a human being, not a robot. He can’t just keep working himself into exhaustion.” You protest.

Bill’s eyes narrow.

He doesn’t like that response.

“Listen, Gemstone, you really want to get in the way of Ford’s dreams? I thought you loved him,” Bill cackles, his hand sliding down to press tightly against your throat. The pressure pushes the gem on your necklace further into your skin, causing you to wince.

“I-I do.” You wheeze out, your airway feeling restricted but not being choked quite yet.

“Then if you do, take my advice. The sooner you leave him alone to work on and finish this portal, the sooner he can rest. Don’t you want him to be able to show this to his old man and finally hear that he’s proud of him?” Bill says with a maniacal grin.

He knows he got you with his last question, your face morphing into guilt.

You knew how important this was to Ford, how he needed this portal to work so he could make something out of all his research and hard work. You knew how desperately Ford wanted that validation from his family, from his dad.

“We have a deal?” Bill asks.

“Alright… I’ll leave him alone.” You cave, gasping for air as Bill removes his hand.

“Good, glad we were able to come to an understanding. I’ll make sure Ford gets all the knowledge I can offer and you two can finally start the life you always wanted together, right?” Bill says with a grin before crouching down to be eye level with you.

“Now don’t tell, Ford, about our little meeting, okay? We wouldn’t want him to worry and get distracted, now would we?”

You shoot up in a panic, a sense of dread filling your body. Your eyes dart to see Ford lying there and you immediately back away, the memory of his hand on your neck fresh in your subconscious. Your legs kick the sleeping bag away, not caring what noise you make. Your hands tremble, fumbling with the zipper of the tent before finally getting it unzipped enough to slip out of the tent.

The air hits your cheeks but it’s not enough to stop your racing heart.

Your feet carry you over to the lake, crouching to the ground as your hands cup together to splash the water onto your face. The cool liquid pricks at your skin but the sensation is enough to shock you out of your fevered state.

Your fast breaths slow down in pace and after a few splashes of cold water, your breath has begun to even out.

Suddenly, you feel a hand on your shoulder, causing you to jump.

“Are you okay?”

#gravity falls #gravity falls x you #gravity falls x reader #gravity falls fic #gravity falls fanfiction #ford pines #ford pines x reader #ford pines x you #stanley pines #stanley pines x reader #stan pines x you #stan pines x reader #stan pines #stanford pines #stanford x reader #deja vu

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pinkflamingosims · 6 months ago

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Flamingo’s Faves IV, Kitchen Clutter (part one?)

I was making a collection file for my kitchen stuff and couldn't stop myself from taking some pretty pictures.

1. Cutting Boards, Vintage Crockery 4t2 by @moocha-muses, original by @leaf-motif. 2. Paper towels. 4t2 by Veranka. So boring, yet so useful. 3. Spice of Life Rack, Home Chef Hustle 4t2 by @lordcrumps and @tvickiesims. I have a love/hate relationship with this pack. 4. Teapot, Tiny Living 4t2 by @linacheries. 5. Mortar and Pestle, Home Chef Hustle 4t2 by @lordcrumps and @tvickiesims. 6. Storage Stuff by tsld. Sits next to every second coffee maker in my game. 7. Basket Bowls, 4t2 For Rent by @lordcrumps and @platinumaspiration. This pack has so many great bits and we got every last one of them for TS2! 8. Porcelain Tray by @pforestsims (pssst, this is not a kitchen item, it's from the Chateau Bathroom) 9. Small tray, @pforestsims again, comes with tasty treats. 10. One Dining Bowls, 3t2 by Veranka, original by linegud. 11. Decorative Collectible Plate,, Parenthood 4t2 by earlypleasantview. 12. Cambria Fruit Bowl, by Veranka. 13. Banana Peel and Apple Core, 4t2 from Get To Work by @sims-influence. Is this even kitchen clutter? 14. Storage Jars, Buggybooz. A classic, but I always forget how nice all of the recolors are. Peas!

1. Hanging Utensils. From Veranka's 3t2 New Vintage Kitchen, original by Gosik. These don't work on mac, unfortunately. 2. Positronic Pro Magnetic Knife Rack, 4t2 base also by @veranka-downloads. 3. Anti-Donkey Knife Set, 4t2 Cool Kitchen by @kayleigh-83. 4. Pro-Quality Knife Block Set, 4t2 Base Game by Veranka (same as 2). 5. Tom Berry Knife Block, Home Chef Hustle 4t2 by @lordcrumps and @tvickiesims. The japanese steel texture on these is so so pretty and I think I need to have a Tom Berry in my game. 6. Utensils , 4t2 by Veranka. 7. Utensils Bucket, 4t2 by Limonaire, original by @litttlecakes. 8. Utensils Holder, 4t2 kbb's retro vintage vibe by @neosimi. I see now that I only picked the red swatch from this set in all the pictures, but the others are so great, too! There is a cute whimsical vintage style and a cool retro one. 9. Trusty Maxis Utenils Holder, Recolor by luasims. 10. Utensils Holder, Vanilla Kitchen 4t2 by @thimblesims, original by @aira-cc.

1. Wish in a Dish Wall Plates, 4t2 by @lordcrumps. 2. Hanging Pots, 4t2 base by @veranka-downloads. 3. The King's Cookware, 4t2 Country Kitchen by delonariel. 4. Casserole, by buggybooz, must have like everything else in this set. 5. Granny's Cozy Casserole Dish, 4t2 Country Kitchen by delonariel. 6. Conspiracy Mugs, 4t2 by Pixelry, original by @litttlecakes. 7. Retro Dishes, 4t2 kbb's retro vintage vibe by @neosimi. 8. Stacked Pots. 4t2 by TSLD. Fits sinks perfectly. 9. Modern Plates, Home Chef Hustle 4t2 by @lordcrumps and @tvickiesims. 10. Paper Plates, recolor of Veranka's Cambria Plates by @2fingerswhiskey. Comes with red solo cups! 11. Mugs. 4t2 Everyday Clutter by @lordcrumps. The inspiration for this must have been my someone's real life desk. 12. Pitcher, again 4t2 Cottage Living by delonariel. I was really surprised by the modern swatches.

1. Main Squeeze Cannisters, Cottage Living 4t2 by Delonariel. These also have cool modern color options! 2. Deja Brew Coffee Jars, 4t2 by @kayleigh-83, original by @ravasheencc. I love that these are sorted in appliances. 3. and 4. Heritage Flour Tin, and Rustic Kitchen Tin, Country Kitchen 4t2 by Delonariel . 5. Bread Box, Kitchen of tomorrow 4t2 by @kestrelteens, original by @surely-sims. 6. Spicebox Duo, DIne Out 4t2 by Deelee. 7. Heritage Bread Box, Country Kitchen 4t2 by Delonariel. 8. Bread Box, 4t2 kkb’s my cherish things by @neosimi. The colors are soo good!. 9. Storage Box, 4t2 kkb’s retro vintage vibe by @neosimi. 10. Cookie jar, 4t2 by TSLD. 11. Bread Box of Holding, Parenthood 4t2 by earlypleasantview.

#ts2 #the sims 2 #flamingo's faves

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 5 months ago

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Summer Breeze 10

Warnings: age gap (reader is 22, Andrew is mid 40s), dad’s friend, Andy being Andrew, other dark elements. As usual, be mindful of your content consumption.

I also beg of you to leave me some tuppence in the form of a comment and/or reblog. You are cherished!

Enjoy, my loverlies.

The next morning is a slog. You’re still tired even after sleeping until your head aches. You drag yourself downstairs, the smell of coffee filling your nose. You blink through the crustiness and wipe it away with your knuckles.

Andy’s back is to you. Deja vu strikes you as his naked back greets you and his growls at the coffee machine as it brews. You stop in the doorway, not sure if you should turn back or not. He shifts, angling so he spots you from the corner of his eyes.

He coughs and straightens up, “oh, good morning,” he faces you from across the island, “you--” he stops himself and gives wry smirk, “you don’t drink coffee so I won’t offer. Even if you look like you need it.”

You scoff and shake your head as that simple act makes it pulse, “ugh, just water.”

You look around but he’s quicker. He has a glass in his hand and under the fridge filter before you can get your bearings. You try not to stare at his naked torso. He doesn’t seem to notice himself.

“There are lemons in here. Surprisingly. Not much else,” he pops the door open, “want a slice?”

You accept in a dull drone. He takes one out and sets the glass down. He searches around and finds a cutting board and knife. He cuts it into wedges and pops one in the water, sliding it towards you. You thank him and take a deep gulp.

“You doing okay?” He asks then winces, “besides everything.”

“I feel awful,” you rasp, “I slept too heavy, I think.”

“Yeah, I was tossing and turning,” he says.

You’re silent as slowly the memory seeps into your brain. His voice through the wall, the slap on tile, and his thick grunt. You hide behind the glass, taking another drink before you steady your hand.

“You know, I can check on your dad today if you want to rest--”

“No,” you insist, a bit too quickly, “no, I have to see him.”

“Yeah, sorry, I just... you stress yourself out too much and might do more bad than good, you know.”

“Right, I’m fine,” you say, “really. I’m tired. So what?”

“Just checking in, sweetheart,” he coaxes. “That’s all.”

“I’m...” you take a breath and slowly release it. “I’m sorry, I’m just worried. I don’t know what to do. I’m...”

“What about your mom? She on her way? You called her, right?”

You roll your eyes, “I’m lucky she picked up.”

“Oh,” he nods, “well, yeah. I guess that makes sense.”

“Yeah,” you shrug.

“Well, if you need any help, I’m right here,” he offers, “what did insurance say? You get the bill sorted out?”

You try not to show your unease. You’re trying not to think about that call. You nod and try to smile, “yep, got it figured out.”

You turn with the glass of water, “um, I’m going to...” you look down at your PJs and cringe, “change.”

“Oh, aha,” he chuckles, “guess I should do that myself.”

You don’t look back. As helpful as he is, you can’t help but feel yourself sinking into a pit of doom. He can’t do everything. You wouldn’t ask him to.

🌅

Your dad’s quiet as you enter his room. It’s not very unusual. You often sit in comfortable silence with him. The odd part is he doesn’t even have the television on. He just stares blankly across the room.

“Dad?” You speak as you sense Andy behind you, himself hesitant to break the lull.

He grunts and looks at you, a scowl creasing his face. You flinch. He looks mad.

“Everything alright?”

“Would you keep it down,” he sneers.

You reel and look over your shoulder at Andy. He seems equally perplexed. You turn back and smile, “sorry--”

“I said shut the fuck up, Charlene!”

Your mother’s name catches you off-guard.

“Doug,” Andy chides, “that’s your daughter.”

“Get the fuck out!” He barks.

Andy touches your arm and gently steps ahead of you, “what’s going on, buddy?”

“GET OUT!” Your dad pushes over the rolling table next to the bed and it crashes to the floor, sending the jello cup and tray scattering. You gasp as he continues to holler for you to leave.

A nurse startles you as she brushes by, calling your father by his last name, “don’t you act like this.”

You’re too stunned to react. You just stare. What the heck is happening? That’s not your father. That’s some sort of animal. He refuses to listen as he snaps at the nurse in a similar vein.

“I’m so sorry,” she speaks over her shoulder, “sometimes with head injuries, there can be some... emotional side effects.”

“Oh?” You frown.

“Is he okay?” Andy asks.

“It’s early. He’s just woke up and things are a bit muddy,” she can barely be heard as your dad clangs on the bed rails. “Maybe you should step outside.”

“Dad?” You croak around her and his eyes meet yours. He looks at you with such hate that it makes you want to shrink down to nothing. You step back on your heel and spin, fleeing from his wrath and the room.

You hear Andy thank the nurse before you get into the hall. He isn’t far after you and another nurse squeezes by him, closing the door behind her. You face him as your eyes gleam with tears. You don’t know if you can do this. You don’t know if you can look at your father and face the stranger he’s become.

It only took two days and he’s someone else. It’s like you’ve lost him already. You fan yourself as you feel the heat rise up your body and settle behind your eyes.

“Hey, it’s going to be alright--”

“No,” you blubber as the tears finally erupt from you, “no it’s not alright! None of it is alright.”

You cover your face with your hands and shake with sobs. You can’t hold back any more. It’s too much. This is too much. You’re not ready for any of this. You feel Andy wrap you up in his arms and you hear him say your name, but it’s a blur behind the wall of your grief. The world can wait while you fall apart.

#andy barber #dark andy barber #dark!andy barber #andy barber x reader #series #drabble #summer breeze #defending jacob #au

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moonchildstyles · 1 year ago

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rêvasser

élan part two: harry was too observant. y/n worried he could see the cracks in her walls.

wourdcount: 12.8k+

—————

Fran🫧

send me a pic of your nails when ur done!!!!

After answering with an agreeable response, (Y/N) flicked to an email from her stylist. Details were being rehashed over what she wanted to wear to the 132 Gala coming in the next few weeks, Dom again trying to push her in the direction of a darker outfit while she gravitated towards her usual palette of softer hues. Outside the window, glimmering buildings swept by with too many cars on the street and too many people, not paying attention, trying to cross the pavement.

Harry was a silent wall beside her, quiet and stiff. Just like usual. This was the first she'd seen him since the pilates incident. Though he was in a substantially better mood than that last meeting, even giving her a slight smile when she climbed into the SUV beside him, (Y/N) still heard the round of reprimanding he doled out for her.

She'd happily take Harry over her father, though. Now that, for the first time ever, he'd followed through on a threat (i.e. getting a bodyguard for her), there was a level of worry tied to any contact involving her dad. But, he hadn't called at all this week—not even a passive-aggressive text sent her way. When she had texted him that she finally RSVP'd to the upcoming Gala like he'd been hounding her to do just a week prior, he'd left her on read. While she much rather preferred this limited contact, she had a brewing worry that something worse was in the works if he was willing to ignore whatever information Harry had relayed or anything he'd read in the press.

But, she'd take what she could get. Focusing on the Gala with prepping and planning was something she'd happily let take her attention, even if the whole bodyguard/handler/professional babysitter thing was going to be hard to ignore given that Harry would have to accompany her to any and all events surrounding the event.

Though there was one thing her mother did instill in her before she divorced her husband and began jaunting around the world with (Y/N) left at home: Nothing could ruin a good nail appointment. Not even the presence of a bodyguard was an exception to that rule as far as (Y/N) was concerned.

"Thank you, Sully," she chirped, stepping out of the SUV with a wave over her shoulder. Harry predictably followed right after her, the soles of his shoes patting against the concrete. "You don't have to come with me, if you don't want," she told him, stopping him before he could close the door behind and prompt Sully to leave, "It's kind of a long appointment, so if you wanted Sully to take you to get something to eat or whatever, I'm sure he'd be okay with that."

While she couldn't imagine Harry taking her up on the offer, at least not after the clear line he made earlier in the week, she still felt it was something she should give as an option. Nail appointments weren't very exciting if you weren’t the one in the chair.

"No, thank you," Harry answered without a lag, closing the door behind him with a slam. He didn't even look at her as he spoke.

Turning on her heel, (Y/N) took in a deep breath and moved on. Stepping through the front door held a moment of deja vu with the way Harry trailed behind her silently. The women manning the front gave her the same curious looks as the waitstaff at the brunch shop though they all treated her with more familiarity after coming to her regular appointments for almost two years now.

"Hi! Welcome in, (Y/N)!" the same blonde woman that always greeted her said, her eyes floating above her shoulder to find Harry, "How are you?"

The shining smile that earned her a top spot in the rumor mill bloomed on (Y/N)'s lips, "I'm doing perfect, thank you! You?"

"Same as always," she chirped back, the same answer she always gave despite never detailing what the same even entailed. "You're in with Carlotta this morning, right?"

"I am," (Y/N) beamed, stopping at the front podium with her designer purse hanging from the crook of her elbow.

"She'll be right with you," the girl started, pointing in the direction of Carlotta's usual station over her shoulder, "You can take a seat at her station while you wait."

"Got it, thank you," (Y/N) said, voice ever-pleasant and rehearsed.

Taking the first step towards her chair, she saw the way the eyes of the other woman reached around and spotted Harry. He'd been seen at her side enough times to be recognizable to the right people, unfortunately. "Are we checking in for two appointments today or do we just have a friend tagging along?"

"Just a friend," (Y/N) answered quickly. Hopefully the word friend would work through the media circuits just as well as everything else being said.

Taking her seat at her usual station, (Y/N) made herself at home with a cross of her legs and her purse hanging from the hook drilled into the table. Harry pulled a vacant seat to sit beside her, taking the outermost side to leave her bookended by the wall and his body. Protector instincts, she figured.

It wasn't long for him to begin to squirm, a fidget to his fingers.

"Sorry," she whispered to him, pulling her phone from her bag to find the photo she was using for inspiration.

A pinch appeared in Harry's brows. "What do you mean?"

Keeping her voice low, she left her attention on her phone while she spoke, "I know it takes a bit to get used to knowing people are watching you, so..."

It wasn't a surprise to feel others' eyes on her though it had been a while since her presence was notable to the staff here at her nail shop. The addition of a friend at her side was surely something that was garnering her more attention than usual, but Harry clearly wasn't used to it with the way he couldn't settle where he sat. While she was sure there were times that Camila and Monroe, his previous employers, were photographed with eyes on them, she couldn't imagine it was at the same level as she was currently going through.

He'd get used to it. Maybe.

Shrugging his shoulders, Harry swept his gaze around the room. "It's a little different, but I can handle it."

She didn't doubt that. She couldn't imagine there was much Harry couldn't handle.

Soon enough, Carlotta came out from the back with a fresh pair of pink gloves on, her usual smile, and big bouncy hair.

"Good morning, honey! How are you?" she asked, brown eyes glimmering in the bright sunlight streaming through the sweeping windows. (Y/N) saw the second she seemed to register the extra guest at her side.

"I'm good, thank you," (Y/N) greeted, stretching her hands out for Carlotta to have a look once she took her seat across. "How are you?"

"Good," Carlotta sang, prying her eyes away from Harry to glance at (Y/N)'s nails, "What are we thinking for this set?"

As much as (Y/N) was sure Carlotta wanted to ask about Harry, and why he was the first extra to ever come with her to an appointment like this, she kept her focus. She listened as (Y/N) went through and showed her the simple inspiration photos she had in mind from grazing through instagram. Glossy nudes with a sparkling French tip was the request at the moment, something easy before the elaborate set she would be getting right before the Gala night.

The appointment went on as normal, Carlotta keeping her conversation to (Y/N) and the rapport they've built over the years. She was sure her tech was waiting for her to bring Harry into the flow, but (Y/N) didn't deviate from the route they'd already embarked on. Besides, Harry was much too involved in his brain and his job to be answering any kind of questions Carlotta may have wanted to ask.

Despite Harry's perfect patrolling and the perfect distraction Carlotta was being, it wasn't long after she had started filing and shaping (Y/N)'s acrylics that there were titters and hushed whispers to be heard across the studio. Harry stiffened beside her, his jaw hardening as he scoped out the sound.

Peeking around him, she saw a group of teenaged girls giggling around a single station as if they were waiting for their own tech to arrive. Two of them had eyes on her while the third was looking at her phone that had the camera conveniently facing towards where she and Harry were sat. The second they realized they were caught, the trio clammed up and looked away, phone disappearing under the lip of the table. Rushed whispers were exchanged between them though none of them dared to return her gaze.

While (Y/N) was used to the treatment, something inside her ticked. It was another set of photos taken without her consent that would build towards another narrative that was anything but true. She was more than accustomed to that, this week had been enough already. More photos of herself was the last thing she wanted.

Nonetheless, there was no way she could react other than with a smile and brushing off the moment. Still, she won't be called "kind" or "warm", she'll be called stiff. At least it wasn't "bitch", though.

When the girls caught her smiling, they gave her a small wave before erupting into more giggles in their corner of the studio. Harry barely held back his scoff as he watched the scene.

Carlotta had gone quiet the second (Y/N)'s attention had shifted. They both saw as Harry shot a stiff look towards the girls, even when they were too caught up in themselves and whatever was going on in their phones to notice.

"Sorry," (Y/N) whispered, leaning towards Harry. She was hyper aware of Carlotta's quiet presence, but she couldn't forgo addressing the moment with the way Harry was reacting. "They'll be over it soon, it's okay."

Harry only shook his head.

She wished she knew what was going on in his head. She wanted to know what he thought of that moment, what he collected from the way she reacted, or how much he was beginning to regret taking this job now that so many eyes scrutinized him.

"Do you like this, or were you thinking a little bit sharper on the edges?"

Carlotta's question pulled (Y/N)'s attention back to her nails, right where it needed to be.

—————

"I'll be right back," Harry murmured, standing from his spot as he scoped out the bathroom.

(Y/N) sent him off with a quiet okay, her attention placed on the sweeps of the small brush going across her nails.

"So," Carlotta nonchalantly mused, her gaze stuck on her work, "you know I don't believe everything I read, but I have to ask... Is that the guy?" Guiding (Y/N)'s hands under the lamp, Carlotta flicked her gaze up to look at her client through the fan of her dark lashes.

With her back stiffening and lips thinning, (Y/N) didn't know what to say. Despite the conspiratorial smile on Carlotta's face, (Y/N) didn't feel like she was in on the joke. Her nail tech was one of the closest people to her in a funny way (nail appointments sometimes felt like therapy after a long week, and too many times had (Y/N) shown up hungover beyond repair), so it cracked at her shell just a bit to know that random stories could wriggle into the mind of someone who actually knew her.

Shaking her head, (Y/N) gave her a mild smile. "It's not like that." She paused before offering up the rest of the story. "He's my new security actually."

"Like a bodyguard?" Carlotta bubbled, taken aback as she paused in her line work of the French tip she was making. She seemed to mull over the possibility before nodding her head some. "I guess the stories have gotten a little out of hand, recently."

"Yeah," (Y/N) offered lamely, "He'll at least make it sound a little bit more intimidating when I need photographers to get out of my way when I'm trying to get to my car."

Swallowing around her dry throat, (Y/N) suddenly found it hard to speak about it all. Other than Francesca, most people didn't want to hear about how "hard" her life was; it was a joke, as if there was no way she could have anything negative happening. While in many ways that was true—she had a home, income that she never had to worry about, and the kind of time to indulge in herself that she knew many others didn't—but that didn't negate the fact that there were unique challenges in her life that wore on her. She hated to think about Carlotta listening to this and talking to her coworkers later about her spoiled client.

Lighthearted as always, Carlotta's features lit up with a smile as she guided her hand in for the final round of drying. "I'm sure he will with those shoulders."

Just in time, Harry returned with the conversation quieting then. Only a round or so more of drying with her hands under the lamp was needed before Carlotta was doing her ending spiel of how best to take care of the acrylics despite the fact (Y/N) was a longtime client with some of the best retention she'd ever seen (at least that's what Carlotta told her).

"I love them!" she bubbled to her tech, standing up from her spot with her hands spread out to catch the clean lines of the French and crisp edges in the shaping. "Thank you so much."

"Of course," Carlotta said, rounding her station to offer (Y/N) a loose hug, "I'll see you soon for your Gala nails, right?"

"Right—hopefully, I'll have an idea ready then." A round of pleasant, albeit a bit forced laughter sounded between them.

Goodbyes were shared before Carlotta went about cleaning up her station and (Y/N) and Harry were silently heading up to pay for the service. Only, (Y/N) was stopped with a rushed call of her name, the voice high-pitched and jittery.

Stopping where she stood, Harry beside her ready to step in at a moment's notice, she turned to see that trio of girls, their own nails glimmering with paint and artificial length. They all looked at her with hopeful eyes and flushed cheeks. They were young—as young as (Y/N) was when she started traipsing around town by herself. She hoped they were being careful and looking out for one another.

"Yes?" she pleasantly chirped, lashes fluttering in a quick blink.

One of them dared to shuffle forward in her Prada sandals, sparkling iPhone clutched in her hand. "Can we get a picture with you?"

Without a second thought, (Y/N) answered with an "Of course! What are your guys' names?"

High on her attention, they flushed and giggled, hands shaking as they took turns to introduce themselves. The one with the phone in her hand—Izzy—was the ringleader it seemed, the most fearless of the trio though she seems just as incredulous to the fact (Y/N) was actually speaking to them.

"You're, like, my favorite person on Instagram, bestie," Izzy chattered off, too-white smile beaming, "My parents hate that I follow you, but I don't care—I think your outfits are cute, and I can't wait until I'm old enough to dress like that without them telling me no."

While the girls laughed and giggled, getting into position for the photo, (Y/N) tried to play along with a bubbling smile. It was more than uncomfortable to hear that these girls' families hated her, as well as hear about how much they couldn't wait to wear the same ensembles as she. At least, they were being nice.

Honestly, (Y/N) hadn't even thought that the outfits she posed in were something that should be reprimanded. She dressed in a way that made her feel pretty. She hadn't thought that the summer dresses she'd favored these last three months would be a subject of debate in households she didn't even know existed.

Suddenly the off-the-shoulder bodysuit and pair of high waisted jeans she was wearing weren't enough. She wished she had pulled on a sweater despite the heat outside.

Nonetheless, (Y/N) just laughed along, playing the part long enough to keep them happy before retreating for the day. Taking the offered phone, she turned towards Harry with it stretched out towards him.

"Will you take a picture of us, Harry?" she asked, acknowledging him for the first time since he grew stiff when the girls had initially spotted them.

"Sure," he answered gruffly, his gaze on her intense as usual though there was more curiosity than scrutiny this time around.

The girls posed around her, arms around her waist and beaming smiles directed at the camera. Harry tapped the screen a couple of times while the girls giggled at her sides. The breakaway was seamless afterwards, Harry passing back the borrowed phone and (Y/N) slipping away from where she was swaddled between them.

"It was so nice to meet you guys," she beamed, "But, we really need to head out. I'm sorry!"

"Totally fine, thank you," Izzy spoke for them, bouncing on the balls of her feet, "Maybe we'll see you at our next appointment."

"Maybe," (Y/N) laughed just before offering a wave as a final goodbye.

Her smile stayed stiff on her cheeks as they walked away, though the girls must not have gauged their volume very well with the way she could hear them clearly over the growing distance.

"That's her new boyfriend, Sydney! The one that she left Damien before, remember? He's the one in those pics from the other day," Izzy chattered off, much too loud to be appropriate in a place that would be considered a spa. And, because the subject of her gossip was within hearing range.

It was an interesting thing to be a few teenaged girls' favorite villain. Even with the way they seemed to like her, they still would believe that she'd lie and cheat and fight like that.

Harry was a solid, silent pillar beside her. He was a brick wall following wherever she went, only giving out a curl of his lips when he was acknowledged and he knew it was polite to do so. He stayed quiet up until he was escorting her through the plaza to meet up with Sully.

"Do y'ever get used to that?" he asked, voice just a hair louder than the click of her heels over the bricks under her feet.

"Hm?" she sounded, paying a little too much extra attention to the photo she was trying to take of her nails to send to Francesca.

"Having people watch you all the time and take photos of you. Do you ever get used to that?" he detailed, casting his eyes around to where Sully could be waiting along the curb.

Shrugging, (Y/N) tossed her phone into her purse. "I mean, kind of? It's been happening since I was in high school, but it's definitely been a little different lately just with... everything being posted about me and all." A beat passed once Harry spotted their car, the route changing as she followed after him. "I think I get it on the easier side, though, compared to others. At least people aren't attacking me or anything, right?"

Harry's lips thinned at her words, jaw tight. "Right."

Definitely the wrong thing to have said.

Replaying her words with Harry's icy reaction, (Y/N) wanted to cringe. Why did she even say that? Of course he wouldn't think that was funny or even lighthearted when his entire job was to keep her out of harm's way.

For a split second, she wanted to tell him about the letters and the photos she received. She wanted him to know that she knew that facet of her existence was serious—that she took his job seriously. But, that topic was more than off limits—something that would no doubt end in a phone call from her father and a one-way ticket to a Swedish cabin with no internet or link to the outside world for a minimum of six months.

(Y/N) followed Harry to the SUV, silent as ever as there was no way to really recover from her slip. He held the door for her to slide inside before he came in next to her.

Sully, the perfect breath of fresh air, twisted in his seat when they filed in. A broad smile could be seen under his moustache. "Let me see," he told (Y/N) offering a hand out for her.

Happy to show off her nails, she gave her hand to him. "They're a different shape than normal, but I thought they would look nice with the French tip."

"They're amazing," he smiled at her, the same response he always gave her when coming back from a nail appointment. "My daughter is going to want some just like that when she sees them on her phone."

Settling back into her seat, (Y/N) smiled. "Let me know, and I can set up an appointment for her and everything. She'll just need to take care of them."

"I'll tell her you said that," he told her before twisting back to face forward in his seat, "Anywhere else for the day?"

From the corner of her eye, she could see Harry observing the moment. Just like usual.

She could go and start some prep for her Gala night outfit, take a look at Vivienne Westwood and Dior, but the idea of Harry being her only companion after her misplaced joke wasn't something she had much interest in. She, at least, needed Francesca for something like that.

"Just home today, Sully. Thank you."

Sitting in the back of the SUV, bench seat shared with Harry, (Y/N) felt exposed. She just hoped she was making the right moves under those watchful eyes.

—————

Heaving a sigh, (Y/N) listened to Francesca with her phone pressed to her ear, her gaze cast across the New York skyline.

"I'm sorry," Fran pouted through the line, (Y/N) practically able to hear the flutter of her lash extensions through the receiver. "If I had known, I wouldn't have promised I could make it."

"It's okay, it's not your fault," (Y/N) soothed, chewing her bottom lip, "I can move my fittings to later in the afternoon, maybe? Would that work?"

"You know how my mom gets when she comes into the city," Francesca sighed, sounding exhausted before the day had even started, "Her and her husband are back on that thing about me being a gallery owner, so you know they're planning on taking all day to make me realize how much of a dream it is for me—I just don't know it yet."

(Y/N) couldn't help the itty, bitty smile that touched the corner of her lips. How silly the two of them were; Francesca's worst problem is her mother wanting to gift a gallery to her, while (Y/N) squirmed at the thought of having a personal security guard follow her to keep her safe.

Nonetheless, she did feel her heart deflate a bit knowing that her best friend wouldn't be accompanying her to something they both loved doing. As a bonus, Francesca would have also been acting like a buffer between she and Harry. Now she was going to be left with him sitting and brooding in the corner with his criticizing gaze while she twisted and turned in a multitude of mirrors.

"I'm sorry, (Y/N)," Francesca said again.

"It's okay, don't worry, okay?" (Y/N) repeated, hearing the sounds of the city from her free ear as the morning rush began and wouldn't stop until late at night. "Tell them I said hi, and I'll send you pictures of my favorites. Maybe we can still do our alterations together if everything matches up?"

"Yes, definitely! I'll see you tomorrow night and we can talk about it more then."

"See you tomorrow," (Y/N) settled, sinking into her lounger, "Love you."

"Love you, too, bestie!"

With that, (Y/N) pulled the phone from her ear and ended the call. Out on her balcony, the morning chill touched at the bare slashes of skin revealed by the open, crochet knit of her cardigan. Despite growing up with a fear of heights, sitting up in the balcony of her high-rise apartment, it was easy for (Y/N) to luxuriate in the thin air and clear out her brain for even a moment.

She was going to get through today. Even if she is photographed today, if she receives an intrusive letter, if another story is spun dragging her name through the rain and mud, she was going to make it through. Besides, she loved going to Fifth Ave; the fashion houses were her second home in the city. She couldn't back out on them now, not when her stylist pulled rank and ensured she would have a private fitting at Vivienne Westwood and a tour across an archive of Dior jewelry just for her.

(Y/N) was just going to have to trust the opinion of sales people who worked on commission and were too scared to look her in the eye half the time. To be fair, they hadn't steered her wrong just yet, even if they never really looked at the way the garments fit her, just because that would require a longer than a single second glance at her.

Taking in a deep breath, (Y/N) reminded herself: she was going to get through today.

A buzz in her hand alerted her, taking her from the skyline and back to her phone.

Sully👑

I'm here and ready whenever you are.

At least she would get to see Sully this morning. It was always a good day when he was there to ground her.

Trekking through the building, (Y/N) gave her usual smile to the uninterested doormen and avoided eye contact with the man who was tapping away aimlessly on his phone, another person waiting to be buzzed up, she was sure.

Peering through the glass doors, she saw the SUV on the curb, Sully having made his way to sit just outside the entrance. He was stationed outside the car, his hand poised on the door handle to help her in. Even with the deep tint on the windows, she was sure Harry was waiting inside. A silhouette with too nice of a profile to be wasted on a security detail.

Sully's features softened into a grin when he saw her step outside of her building, his usual all black attire just as immaculately pressed as always. "Good morning, Ms. (Y/N)," he greeted, hand on the door to pull it open for her.

"Morning, Sully," (Y/N) reciprocated, the long form of her cardigan fluttering behind her.

Just as she suspected, Harry was waiting patiently on the bench seat of the SUV when Sully pulled the door open. He didn't look up as she slipped inside, crossing her legs once the seatbelt was secured across her form.

"Good morning, Harry," she murmured in the quiet of the leather interior.

Glancing up at her from where he had been tapping away on his phone, Harry took her in in a brief sweep over her form. He brought his knuckle up to his nose, brushing underneath the tip. "Good morning."

The sound of Sully's door slamming shut brought (Y/N)'s attention forward from where she was stuck on the flickering green of Harry's eyes. "Now to Ms. Francesca's apartment?"

"No, actually," (Y/N) clarified, shifting in her seat, "Franny's mom is coming into the city today so she had to cancel."

"Oh no," Sully genuinely pouted at her through the rearview mirror, eyes meeting hers, "I'm sorry, (Y/N). Straight to Fifth Ave, then?"

"Yes, that's perfect," (Y/N) chirped, feeling Harry's gaze on her through the interaction, never once did the shift to Sully. "Vivienne first, please. Dior after."

"Got it."

Pulling away from the curb, Sully was the expert driver he always was, slipping them seamlessly into the traffic without so much as a jostle over the pavement. Cars were slow moving at this time in the morning, but she knew he would make quick work of the distance.

"Jus' us today?" Harry piped up, his voice a low gravel that had (Y/N) pulling her gaze on her nails to land on him.

Swallowing, she nodded. "Yeah. If you don't want to sit through all the dress stuff, though, I'm sure Sully can take you elsewhere while I'm busy. I can just let you know when I'm ready to move to the next spot."

No hesitation before he spoke again: "No, thank you. I'll be staying with you."

She didn't expect any other answer if she was being honest, but it was the polite thing to ask.

With no room to argue, (Y/N) fell silent, leaving just the sound of distant car honks and the light radio melodies playing. The route to the Vivienne Westwood location on Fifth Ave was a familiar one, even with the traffic and swerving drivers it didn't seem so long from where (Y/N) sat. She gazed out the tinted windows, the world looking just a little bit blue. People in too high of heels to be walking on the crumbling sidewalks with brand name shopping bags tucked under their arms were blurs beside her as Sully toured them through the city,

The car slowed when the storefront came into view, the elegant font of Vivienne's name bold over the crystal windows.

Sully sent them off after helping (Y/N) onto the concrete, promising to return as soon as he received word that she was ready to move on. Harry was her silent shadow as she stepped over the sidewalk like a runway. The mannequins in the windows were corseted and perfect, standing on thick platforms with sparkling jewelry. An effortless smile stretched across her lips as she pushed the door open, the brassy golden handle warm under her palm from the New York heat.

Her heels were muffled as she stepped over the eccentric carpet. (Y/N) swore she could breathe just a bit easier in here. Many of the shops along this Avenue were the closest thing to being at home, especially when she was growing up and itching to do anything but be at home with her parents. She had an abundance of nice memories tied to these stores and brands; summers spent with Francesca and a credit card, impromptu fashion shows with pieces that wouldn't go together on a runway. While there were more than a couple of workers that became annoyed with them after only a few minutes of the duo walking into the shops, these places were the easiest escape.

Sweeping her gaze across the shop, she took in the elaborately dressed mannequins and clean shelving. Everything was lit up on display, highlighting the contrasting colors and the punk-inspired pieces that gave Ms. Westwood her name. Racks and displays were scattered throughout, leading the walkways like a twirling river of black and white streaks. (Y/N) gravitated towards the racks with the signature structured corsets of the Westwood brand, draping fabrics and glimmering pearls.

The entire space was quiet, her stylist—Dom—having made his calls and ensured the space would be free of any other shoppers while (Y/N) was getting her fitting done. (He was a little paranoid when it came to others leaking looks and style choices when it came to events like this Gala. It had happened once a few years earlier with a different client, and he seemed to have never forgotten). That left the entire morning free for (Y/N) to try on all of the imported pieces they had picked from the archives and Harry to brood around her like a temperamental potted plant.

It didn't take long for a familiar head of coiffed blonde hair to appear around the corner of a jewelry case. A too-white, too-straight, too-perfect smile was plastered across his face—the kind of smile (Y/N) was halfway sure was fake, but that was just commission-based customer service.

"Will!" (Y/N) greeted with a matching smile, breaking the ice as she turned on her heel to face him fully.

"(Y/N)! How are you, my love?" Will bubbled, posh accent wrapping around her name. He was adorned in his usual all black suit, velvet accents lined throughout. The length of the flared pants made him look that much taller, long limbs strong. The classic Vivienne Westwood pendant had been refashioned into a broach he pinned to his lapel, chains falling from around the Saturn that glimmered like the gunmetal manicure on his fingers. Something shimmery rained over his eyelids, just punk enough to fit Vivienne but high class enough to please those that guarded Fifth Ave like a dragon's treasure.

When Will approached her, hands delicately held out with his lips puckered, she didn't hesitate to turn her cheek and indulge in the air kisses he always made a fuss about. Though it made her cringe, like one of those girls she knew in private school that spent the summer abroad and suddenly started speaking in an accent and bringing up their travels at any given moment, she enthusiastically partook in the greeting.

Best behavior was required in shops like this, the associates tending to be some of the worst gossips and best storytellings in the city. If she was anything but perfect, with the way the media was already latched onto her, it wouldn't take much convincing for someone like Will to sell a story to any publication.

"I'm doing so well now! I was hoping I'd be paired with you for my appointment."

He waved her off with an incredulous face. "Well, of course they'd pick me. They only give you the best, hunny!"

A round of laughter erupted between them, something that sounded just as fake as it felt in her throat. Harry was notably quiet, watching everything unfold. He didn't bother to try and step in to introduce himself, observing as always.

"Come, come," Will gestured, inching towards the grand fitting room plotted in the back of the shop, "All of these gorgeous archive pieces made it in last night, just for you! I shouldn't be surprised, you and Dom have such wonderful taste, but I just love to see it, really."

Will chattered to her as he escorted them through, bubbling about how excited he was to show her the garments as well as see them on her. While she knew a portion of his personality was a customer service front, he was one of her favorites here. He was more positive than uppity, unlike most of the other sales people she'd run into during her time perusing this street.

Making it to the large fitting room in the back, (Y/N) immediately spotted the white garment bags hanging from the single stall. It was a large room that could have easily fit in stall after stall, but instead was used as a luxury space for only a single patron. Plush carpeting was installed under their feet, black lightning bolts breaking up the creamy white. A shimmering chandelier hung above the circular dais situated in front of the three-sectioned mirror on the far end of the room, crystals dripping from the wrought iron branches almost low enough to graze the head of the person standing on the dais. Cozy chairs were pushed throughout, the space anticipating guests, along with the tray of champagne glasses and a chilled bottle awaiting serving.

Finding a pause in the chattering, (Y/N) asked, "Are any of the girls helping today, or is it just us?"

"Just us!" Will chirped, carefully uncorking the bottle of frosty champagne, "Dom made it especially clear that he didn't want anyone unnecessary to be here; he said he wanted to make sure no one could leak anything."

"Sounds like Dom," (Y/N) sighed with an affectionate smile, dropping her purse onto one of the houndstooth printed armchairs.

Harry found his own chair silently, sinking into the cushioning though he didn't seem to relax much at all. His gaze stayed alert, looking around the entire space—probably looking for any cracks as if a supervillain could swing through the drywall and take her captive. Or, anything (Y/N) could damage should she finally snap in his presence.

She wondered what he thought, not three weeks into the job without a single tantrum that she knew her father had prepared him for. Hopefully she was showing she wasn't as much of a problem as her father was convinced.

Shrugging out of her cardigan, (Y/N) caught the way Will eyed Harry. He swept his gaze over, analyzing the same way Harry analyzed everything else.

"But, I see you brought a friend," he tittered, looking at her with that sly gaze. Harry didn't even flinch at the first acknowledgment of his presence.

Keeping her demeanor perky and bright, (Y/N) made a point to look confident—but not too proud. She didn't want to look like she was showing off a significant other, so she couldn't smile too much, but she still had to smile just enough not to look shy or smitten. She didn't want to give Will any reason to describe her as being "bashful, over the moon for her new man".

"Yes, that's Harry," she gestured to him, Harry barely offered a small smile when he took a second to look in their direction, "He's my bodyguard"

"Bodyguard?" Will asked, blonde brow raised in an arch.

Sighing, (Y/N) politely took the offered glass of bubbling champagne from Will's hand. "You know how it goes sometimes," she started, sipping delicately from the flute for a chance to pause, "Photographers have been a little crazy lately, so I figured I might need a little extra help."

"Oh I'm sure," Will bubbled, looking at her with a furrowed brow feigning concern, "With everything that's happened with Damien, I bet those paparazzi can't get enough of you."

He eyed her the same way he eyed Harry, as if there were details he could glean from her with just a glance. He was hoping she would spill, give him something to whisper over.

Shrugging it off as nonchalantly as possible, she took another careful sip of her champagne. "Anything for a photo, you know," she said, rolling her eyes as if being hounded for personal information and photos of intimate moments was nothing more than an inconvenience. "But!" she perked up, popping her hip with a spark to her voice, "I want to see what Dom picked out for us!"

Hooked by her excitement, Will caught the giddy way she talked and reacted with his own enthusiasm. "Okay, okay, sit down and close your eyes," he instructed, waving her back into her spot, "Because, you are going to freak."

Doing as asked, (Y/N) settled into her seat with her eyes fluttering closed. She could hear Will padding away, leaving her with just Harry though if she hadn't already known he was there, she would have assumed the complete silence meant she was alone. She couldn't imagine being so quiet all the time, alert and scrutinizing. She wished she knew what was going on in his brain.

The zip of garment bags and rustling of fabric drew closer as the time ticked on another minute. With the way her heart peaked, her giddiness was no longer an act. This is the stuff that made these events worth it for her; she loved playing dress up as a girl, and this was just the same but even prettier, in her mind. She could pretend to be a real princess this way.

"Okay"—a pause for dramatic effect—"open," Will said, a smile clear in his voice.

Blinking her eyes open, (Y/N) saw the flash of pearl pink laid hanging in front of her. Will held the padded hanger up for her to take in the entire gown, his free arm behind the skirt to help put it on display under the light. The fabric looked like liquid pearl, tinted in a pastel, cool pink that glimmered with a golden sheen in the light. It shifted before her eyes, showing shades of silver and purple, metallic and pearl. A blend of everything pretty in the world, (Y/N) decided. The top was the signature corset that she loved from the Westwood designs, the neckline featuring a deep scoop to show off her chest, structured and tight. The skirt was a length that would drag behind (Y/N) as she walked, draping down from the corset with a thigh high slit up the side. The sleeves to hold it up were nothing but a three-tiered string of pearls, each loop bigger than the last to rest lower and lower on her arms when she put it on.

While there was a small collection of garment bags hanging up behind Will, (Y/N) couldn't imagine looking at another gown after this. It was too beautiful—the perfect personification of her thoughts that she had jumbled together to Dom during a late night FaceTime. She couldn't have ever imagined her scattered thoughts coming together enough for him to know exactly what dress from the Westwood archive to request for her.

But, this was exactly it.

She almost felt as though she needed to wait, to make sure it didn't just melt off of the hanger and drip onto the floor. She wanted to ensure it was real before she became too excited.

"Dom picked a couple from the archive and a few from the most recent runway, but this is my favorite," Will told her, his tone conspiratorial like he was sharing a secret just for her, "I think it would look gorgeous with your coloring, too. And, I know you're a pearl girl, so."

Standing from her seat, she abandoned her glass of champagne on the side table. She was sure her eyes were too wide on her face, taking in all of the gown as if it would disappear if she blinked too long.

"Are you kidding?!" she bubbled, "I love this! I almost don't want to see the others, I love this so much."

Will shook his head immediately. "No, no, no, we're playing Barbie today, you're still trying on the others. But, I'm happy we're on the same page with this one."

In a split second, (Y/N) saw something flourish in Will's eyes. The corner of his lips quirked up, too sly of a curl to be innocent. He turned towards Harry, showing off the dress just as grandly as he did for her.

"What do you think, Harry? This would look gorgeous on her, don't you think?"

Harry, the master of nonchalance and being chronically unbothered, barely batted an eye when Will caught his attention. If not for the fact (Y/N) knew who he was and what his job entailed, she would have thought he was one of those people from Williamsburg, where it was cool to be uncaring. Fortunately, she knew he genuinely couldn't care less about what was going on in this fitting room as long as (Y/N) wasn't being assaulted or causing property damage.

His eyes fell over the gown, sweeping over the details in that scrutinizing way he always looked at his surroundings. "It looks nice, yeah. I don't know much about this kind of stuff, but 'm sure it would look nice on her."

A beat passed. Will waited for more, waited for his digging expedition to come up with results. Harry only blinked.

"Okay, well!" Will moved on, smile a touch stiff. He turned towards (Y/N) with those same bright eyes. "Let's get you all tied up into this, and then we'll see for sure."

(Y/N) eagerly allowed Will to usher her through the door to the changing stall, eyes flitting to the dress as soon as she could spot it in the mirror. He didn't waste a second before he started chattering to her about some drama that apparently happened when the garments were dropped off the night before, trivial things that were embellished for the sake of getting her to laugh. (Y/N) wanted to say she listened intently, enjoying the way he prattled on and told the story as if it were a myth, but she honestly couldn't spread her attention between him and the dress that was beginning to swath around her body.

Her day clothes were dropped to the floor at her feet, leaving her in undergarments before Will helped her into the dress, the corset stiff with the boning straightening out her spine. The beginnings of the look came together before her eyes, the fabric forming around her body the tighter the corset was zipped. The skirt seemed to be dripping off of her body the way it moved under the light, molten and sticky. With the slit opening up as high as her hip, the pearl glimmer stood out against her skin. Will helped her push the straps of her bra down, sliding them into the sides of the corset to make it look that much more real.

Times like these were the only moments (Y/N) felt as if she could be photographed—wanted to be spotted. She loved dressing up, she loved feeling pretty in her skin, she loved these kinds of special moments. It never got old to her, feeling the glide of silky fabrics on her skin, the glimmer against her skin tone, looking like the princesses she used to idolize when she was a kid.

Twisting and twirling in the mirror, (Y/N) could feel the smile curling on her lips.

"Well, what did I tell you?!" Will beamed, standing back in the mirror to meet her eyes in the glass, "Better than the runway, my love!"

"You're so sweet," she told him, a pout on her lips as she matched his eyes in the mirror, "Thank you."

"Let's go look in the big mirror, see it from all the angles," Will prompted, reaching his hand out to help her step off the circular, raised platform in the dressing room.

(Y/N) followed him through the door, letting him take her to the three panel mirror at the head of the room. He held the skirt for her as she stepped onto the platform, her feet chilled through her socks once she was steady. He fanned the gown around her, the split showing off the stretch of her bare thigh. She stood tall with her posture corrected with the corset, but the confident tip of her chin had everything to do with the way she felt in the dress.

Running her hands over the fabric, she followed the ripples in the pearl with her eyes. Seeing herself like this, she didn't care what her dad had to say about her, the tabloids, or the rumors. She liked what she saw in the mirror, and that was enough.

"Do a spin, look at the back," Will instructed, hands clasped together with his own smile beaming on his features. When (Y/N) did as much, showing off the deep dip in the back that showcased the planes of her back and the seamless lines of the corset, his smile only widened. "Classic Vivienne," he murmured, impressed as if it were his own work, "What are you thinking for your hair?"

Using her hands to loosely emulate the idea she currently had in her head, (Y/N) craned her neck as she looked in the mirror. "I'm not sure yet, but I think Dom had something vintage in mind. Big and drape-y to show off the dress, but I haven't talked to my hair stylist yet."

"Jewelry?" Will asked, circling around her as if appraising a diamond.

(Y/N) launched into a description of what she and her stylist were thinking, imagining the Dior pieces glimmering against her skin and the way her hair would tickle her collarbone when she turned her head. She could already see the set of pearly nails that were going to be on her fingers, the tiny bag that she was planning on hanging from her elbow the whole night. Her bare feet shifted to be sheathed in the perfect pair of Manolo's she knew Dom was going to insist she wear to go along with the gown.

Everything came together with each twist and turn of her body in the mirror, pearls and crystals sparkling in her mind.

Will chatted away to her, telling her something about how the skirt could be altered to lower the slit (something she was not interested in doing, honestly) and how glimmering crystals could be added here and there. She offered him a bubbly smile in the mirror, nodding along, though she might have been a little too absorbed with the way she felt in the gown to be paying any real attention.

In the mirror, with a twist to show off the back once more, (Y/N) caught sight of Harry. Just as usual, he looked at her with those ever-observant eyes. Even from the distance he was sitting away in the long room, she knew he was watching everything.

This time, though, he sat with his elbows crossed over his knees, leaning forward as if he couldn't see enough. A furrow of his brow shaded his eyes. Though he tended to keep his eyes latched to her anyway, he looked earnest this time; like there was more he was trying to find before him.

(Y/N) swallowed. He hadn't even realized she was looking at him, she didn't think, at least with the way he didn't shy away when she found him staring. Or, he just didn't care.

Maybe, she could argue, he found Will as a possible threat being so close and so touchy with her. That was his job anyway, see those kinds of possibilities where she normally wouldn't. And, he took his job seriously.

"I know we've pretty much picked already, but let's take a picture and try on the others," Will propositioned, pulling her out of her head, "We'll send them to Dom and see what he thinks, right?"

With a flutter of her lashes and her gaze disengaging with Harry's form, she straightened her falling smile. "Right! My phone's over there, if you want to take the pictures really quick!"

With her phone in hand, Will began snapping photos of her, (Y/N) posing and smiling with every angle on display for her stylist to analyze later. The moment erupted into giggles as the posing became more ridiculous, Will fueling her with the ways he angled her phone and goaded her to get more and more wild.

All the while, (Y/N) could feel Harry's eyes on her.

She found she didn't mind having his eyes on her.

—————

In front of him, (Y/N) twirled and twisted while her friend took photos of her. Harry watched the whole time, cataloguing the way the dress formed around her body, the silk sliding over her skin and glimmering under the light.

Harry's chest felt tight. He couldn't take his eyes off of her.

She looked gorgeous.

In the front of his mind, he knew well that he would do better to be paying attention to their surroundings, watching her friend's hands, anything that actually pertained to his job.

But, he didn't. Instead, he watched his client. Even when she caught him.

—————

"Yes, sir, we're on the way."

Harry's voice was gruff and low as he spoke on the phone, (Y/N) listening in from where she sat next to him in the SUV. She played with the slowly dulling edges of her nails, pretending as if she had no idea as to what her dad was saying and asking on the phone to Harry.

She pretended not to catch the way he glanced at her from the corner of her eye, his gaze sweeping over her form before he was facing forward once more. "Yes, sir—she's dressed appropriately."

(Y/N) had to tune it out then. She didn't care to hear more of the checklist Harry had to go through in order to approve her walking out of the house. She felt more than exposed; under a microscope with everyone awaiting her downfall.

Not soon enough, it seemed the end of the phone call was finally nearing. Harry shifted in his seat as he spoke, giving a time estimate to their arrival before a mild "See you soon." left his lips and the call ended.

Biting back a sigh, (Y/N) sunk into her own seat that much more.

Of course, her father would call Harry over his actual daughter. She couldn't be trusted to give honest answers, obviously. Some days she felt disappointed over the way he acted with her, other days saddened for the little girl inside of her that ached for her parent's love, but days like this brought anger to the surface. She couldn't fathom how important he must think he was to believe he could speak to and about her the way he did.

Though the thought of looking at—let alone speaking to—him today was making her more than annoyed, she was already on her way to the country club and she couldn't back out now. At least she could eat as much as she wanted and buy just as many drinks all on her father's card.

He was going to be way too enthralled with his stupid country club friends—and Harry—to even acknowledge her, anyway. Whenever she was invited to see him on the green, she was meant to be nothing more than a pretty accessory, to show that he was a family man too, not just a ruthless businessman. She was there to be gazed upon by men way too old and way too married to be looking at her the way they did, but that was part of the reason she was called upon.

By the time the structure of the gated country club came into view, (Y/N) was already reading through the familiar menu in her head. She was going to buy the entire patio a round of drinks, she decided. Maybe even two rounds.

Going through the gates, Sully pulled them to the front of the building. The golf course stretched for miles around the main building, perfectly green and manicured, gorgeously maintained attractions throughout the holes with fountains and elaborate sand traps. The perfect kind of course for people with too much money and not enough actual understanding of the game. Around the back were the tennis courts and pool, everything warm blues with mosaic tiles, waitstaff crawling all over the place to tend to every whim of the clientele.

The bistro was her father's favorite part, though. That was where the whiskey was served.

He only pretended to care about golf just so he could laze around the club and smoke cigars in the afternoon and drink whiskey with people too stupid to realize he only saw them as dollar signs.

She could only hope he'd already had a chance to drink this morning with his friends, leaving him too sloppy to care if she snuck off to play some tennis or out to the koi pond in the garden. Maybe, Harry would even become too distracted with her father, too wrapped up in the schmoozing and drinks and promises, to follow her out. Maybe she could get a real chance to be alone this afternoon.

Sully helped (Y/N) out of the car as Harry waited for her on the walkway, the grand building behind him full of warm woods and golden fixtures. Large glass windows almost filling the complete space of the walls showcased the inside of the villa, the view only obstructed from the amount of greenery planted outside, tall bushy trees and manicured hedges acting as shades.

Keeping her tennis skirt from riding up her thighs, she used Sully's hand to steady her as she stepped onto the stone walkway.

"Thank you," she told him, voice quiet compared to the nature-esque sounds that came from the club and the various activities others were partaking in.

Sully nodded at her, gentle smile on his cheeks. "I'll be back soon. Do you want me to wait for your father's cue or yours?"

"Mine," she answered immediately. If it were up to her father, she'd spend the entire evening here with no end in sight. It would probably turn into some unwanted date with a random man he thought would be good for her.

Sully's smile was understanding as he nodded to her. "I'll be here as soon as you need me."

With that, she shared her goodbyes with her driver before joining Harry at his silent post a few feet ahead of her. He barely glanced at her before he started leading her into the club, opening the door for her to step ahead. He once again took the helm as he led her through the country club, (Y/N) standing back in favor of lagging behind. He might not know the club as well as she, but he at least knew where her father was expecting to meet them. This way, he would be the first person they saw, as well; that could buy her a couple extra seconds of being off before slipping into her role.

Walking into the Bistro, (Y/N) was greeted with the familiar smile of the waitstaff that knew her well. They didn't stop them as she gave a small wave, already assuming she was there to meet her father at the most boisterous table in the restaurant.

It was easy to spot him in the otherwise polite eatery, other patrons quietly dining with fresh tans or aching sunburns from the time outside. Sidelong glances were sent in the way of her father's table, some envious, others annoyed. She could deeply relate to those who were fed up with his noise. He was always much more bothersome after a few drinks.

Men gathered around him, clustered around his small table. (Y/N) recognized most of them. Some of them elicited a stiffening in her spine, her guard going up the much further in case their eyes wandered too close to her, others she knew as investors he most likely originally meant to meet here, and some she didn't know at all. It was still easy to suss them out, anyway; it was the giddy smiles on their faces and the way they barely drank, that showed they were people who had been fighting to be invited to the table and were way too excited to be in such a close orbit to her father and his friends. Gullible, the only way to describe them.

Twisting her Cartier bracelet around her wrist, (Y/N) tipped her chin with faux-confidence and plastered her tabloid-famous smile the second they stepped into the dining area. Harry was still in the lead, glancing at her over his shoulder once he also spotted their intended table.

Her smile didn't waver, ensuring he didn't catch any kind of reaction that could be relayed to her father.

The second her father turned to face them, stopping his conversation short, she knew the whiskey in his hand was not the first of the day. His eyes were glazed and warm, less scrutinizing but still nowhere near kind.

He lit up when he registered Harry's presence. "There he is!" her father shouted across the restaurant, a waiter's steps faltering at the outburst.

Stepping just out from behind Harry, (Y/N) noticed the way her father's gaze didn't deter from her bodyguard; a man he had met for the first time only a few weeks prior. In some ways, she was relieved to be ignored—it was easier this way, she knew—but other parts of herself were sore from the sting of being nothing worth noting to her dad.

Harry gave a small wave, still a touch too far away to give his own greeting back. At least he was being courteous of the other diners.

"This is the Harry I was telling you all about," her father continued, much too loud for the space though no one corrected him, "He's my daughter's handler."

Noises of recognition rattled around the table, some pretending, others giving knowing smiles. (Y/N) didn't dare to think about the stories he shared about her and Harry. He would no doubt be painted as a shining knight, clean and unwavering in control, while she would be left to be the troll of the story, the one being needing to be controlled.

Once they were near enough, those surrounding the table stood to introduce themselves to Harry, offering hands to shake and exchanging pleasantries. Harry took it in stride, his deep voice sticking out from the too-excited greetings of the others.

(Y/N) stood quietly behind. She could feel a pair of eyes or two falling upon her, but she was largely ignored in favor of Harry.

It's better this way, she reminded herself. None of these men's attention was worth it.

Feeling more like decor than a person, (Y/N) stood and watched as Harry was roped into the conversation, even taking a seat her father pulled up. All the while, her father sang Harry's praises, a hand clasped over his shoulder. Harry was just so smart, and qualified, level-headed and strong. (Y/N) had been so much better-behaved even—she might even be ready to be a wife instead of running around the city with her friends. Who knew it was a babysitter his wild child needed to finally calm down; another man to tell her what to do.

That comment made her smile dip. She hoped no one noticed.

The table erupted into laughter at his comment, jovially agreeing as if she wasn't standing right there. Harry was the only one to look at her from over his shoulder, a smile notably missing from his lips. He matched her eyes for a lingering moment before he dropped his gaze.

"Right," he said once he rejoined the conversation, the word missing the same enthusiasm the rest of the table held.

She stood for a moment longer, listening in as she fiddled with her bracelet, before she started inching away. "I'm going to go," she mumbled, noting the way no one seemed to look in her direction but Harry, "Probably get food or something."

(Y/N) turned on her heel then, half expecting Harry to follow, though she was sure the bigger priority was to stay with her father than continue babysitting her. She could feel the eyes of other patrons on her as she left the table, but she didn't stop to reconsider before she was slipping out through the backdoor.

The patio was bathed in bright sunlight, country club members lounging in the warmth with cocktails in hand while waitstaff meandered through the wrought iron tables. She didn't pay anyone any mind as she made her way through, giving smiles to those she made eye contact with before glancing away in favor of making as small of an impression as possible. Though it was generally frowned upon by the club to exploit its high profile members with covert photos or posting any details about the dealings within, that didn't mean it didn't happen. She knew more than a few times stories of her time at the club had been leaked to the press along with blurry photos, and she definitely didn't want that to happen again today with the way her father was shouting her business across the entire dining room inside.

Stepping off the stone patio, she made her way towards the gardens. A short hedge "maze" made most of the garden, leading her through with flowers littered around the space, small fountains, and a koi pond glittering in the center. Other than the tennis courts, this was her favorite space at the club.

The scent of the vibrant flowers beckoned to her, drawing her into the mini maze. A small smile took over her features, reaching out to caress the soft petals of the blooming roses. Fluffy bumble bees flittered between the blossoms, their tiny bodies covered in pollen as they went to each plant. A soft buzz filled the air as she walked, her careful footsteps over the plush grass adding to the delicate noise. It was easy to block out the rest of the commotion like this; the thumps from the tennis court, splashes from the pools, and the chatter from the patio all melted away. Trickling from the tiny waterfall fountains led her closer and closer to the center.

Zagging through the maze, she felt the sun warming her shoulders around the straps of her tank top. That same warmth seeped through to her bloodstream, floating her to the clouds just a little bit.

This was the first time she'd been out without Harry at her side. She'd almost forgotten what that felt like.

To be fair, she was beginning to get used to the feeling of having an extra shadow following her everywhere she went. That unsettling edge she had tied to having a security detail had begun to dull, finally. She didn't completely mind knowing that someone had eyes on her at all times, whether he was checking for her safety or for her bad behavior to peak. It wasn't something she would consider a normal feeling yet, but she could get there.

Hopefully, though, she wouldn't have enough time to get used to him. Hopefully, he'd be relieved of his post before she got that far.

With the lack of stories being printed about her, she even hoped that her father would grant her freedom sooner rather than later. The only things she saw about herself tended to be things about her summer outfits, or analyses of her instagram posts. Nothing major had been posted since Damien. She had to be on the right track if rumors about her were losing traction.

Falling back down to earth, (Y/N) grounded herself as she gazed down into the koi pond. The concrete barrier was carved with roses, the reliefs matching the actual blooms coming through in the hedges. The fish were graceful pops of color in the clear water, bright calico coral tones shining under the sun. Lilly pads with tiny flowers floated on the surface, allowing the kois to move like ghosts underneath. This was her favorite spot in the gardens, making it easy for her to sink to her knees with her hands perched on the lip of the barrier and gaze down at the creatures.

That childlike urge in her to reach out and pet the fish rose, wishing she could treat them like pets. (Y/N) almost wanted to laugh at herself with the way she had to remind herself to keep her hands to herself.

Suddenly the sound of footsteps sounded through the maze. They were close enough (Y/N) could hear the quick pace, the purpose someone would have to have to breeze through the leisurely maze like that.

For a split second, her muscles tensed, her lungs squeezed. Her first thought made her want to run.

The letters.

Whoever wrote them didn't want to hide anymore. They waited until she was alone like this. They could do and say anything they wanted here. No one would even know with the cover of the hedges.

Her heart raced in her chest when they grew close enough (Y/N) swore she could hear the sound of the grass crushing under the intruder's feet. Her breath caught in her throat.

She whipped her head around just in time to see someone breaking into the clearing.

It was Harry.

He had a scowl on his face, shoulders tensed, and eyes hard. He stopped in his tracks when he saw her sitting there in the grass, legs folded underneath her.

(Y/N)'s hand fluttered up to her throat, a sharp exhale leaving her lungs. It was just Harry, he reminded herself.

"Jeez, you scared me so bad just now," she breathed, sinking from how hard she had been tensed in wait.

"Sorry," he said, lips thin as he shifted his gaze to the koi pond behind her.

Though he looked just as closed off as he usually did, his demeanor matching his dark clothing, there was a bit more of an edge to his aura. If she didn't know any better, (Y/N) would think he was angry.

He heard her say she would be out back, she knew that. He couldn't be angry at her when he didn't follow her out of his own volition. Right?

A slight pinch knitted her brows together as she looked up at him. "Are... Is everything okay?"

Not shifting his gaze from where he had landed them on the blooms of roses in the maze, he gave her a curt nod. "Yes."

"Okay," she said, unsure of what else to offer in the quiet of the maze. Awkwardly, she rose to her feet, brushing nonexistent dirt from her tennis whites.

A beat passed before (Y/N) turned to face him once more, finding his gaze already on her. "You can keep walking if you want. I didn't mean to interrupt you," he said, his voice low as if to match the buzz of the bees.

"Are you sure?" she asked, still catching the storm in his eyes even if it had settled some.

Only a single nod was given in response.

With that, (Y/N) was the one to lead him through the maze. Harry was a welcome ghost behind her, silently following. He didn't complain with every lingering step between the blooms, didn't bother her as she felt the softened rose petals, didn't push her through in annoyance of the bees flying around their heads.

The second half of the maze seemed to relax him from the way she saw his shoulders relax, his gaze softening the longer they spent away from everyone else. She almost wanted to take him back to the beginning when they finally finished, the end of the maze opening up to a stone walkway that split with two avenues. One took them back to the bistro's patio, the other to the golf courses.

"Are you hungry?"

After the quiet that followed them through the maze, Harry's voice was a shock.

"Yeah, actually." (Y/N) answered after a beat.

"C'mon," Harry said, gesturing for her to follow after him as he started down the pathway rounding back to the restaurant.

The patio was just as bustling as when she had slipped through earlier, the expansive windows allowing her to peek inside and find her father still holding court. Pushing through the small gate that separated the space, the waitstaff turned to look at them from the pinched creak the iron hinge gave.

A familiar woman smiled from where she stood at the extra hosting podium stationed outside. "(Y/N)," she brightly greeted her, "Are you dining with us after all today?"

A short glance was spared in Harry's direction before (Y/N) was nodding. "Yes, please. Thank you."

The familiar hostess quickly seated them, menus and glasses of water left on the table. The waitress would be only a moment away, they were told. The service was always on the quick side whenever (Y/N) was here; they knew good and well who her father was, and the club loved a generous member.

Harry was quiet as they were waited on, looking over the menu as if it were a textbook to study. He didn't even look up when the fair-haired waitress made her way to their table. She introduced herself as Carly, though (Y/N) already knew her well enough from the last handful of times she had been dragged here by her dad.

"Before we start, were you wanting to open up a separate tab today, Ms. (Y/N), or put today's meal on your father's?" she asked, her smile bubbly as she relayed the same question they always posed.

"On her father's."

Flicking her gaze from the waitress, she saw Harry still looking at his menu as if he hadn't just spoken. That storm had returned to his gaze, a pinch appearing between his brows.

Carly was silent, looking between the two of them.

"On my dad's tab, please," (Y/N) confirmed, offering a soft smile before the silence had time to settle for too long.

"Perfect," Carly answered, writing down whatever message needed on the pad in her hand, "I'll give you guys a moment with the menu and come back and take your order. Sound good?"

"Sounds good," (Y/N) answered for them both, perfect smile on her lips until their waitress stepped away.

Silence settled between the two of them, Harry still focussed on his menu. Though it was a bit bold for Harry to assume they were going to be dining on her father's dime, she couldn't deny it was a little funny. That was her own plan after all, she just hadn't anticipated his vehement agreement.

Soon enough, their waitress returned. "Had enough time?" she posed, reaching to her apron pocket for her notepad.

Glancing at Harry, she saw the small nod he gave. "I think so," (Y/N) answered, already familiar with the menu enough to not have to glance through.

"Great," Carly chirped, pulling her notepad out, "Any drinks? Starters?"

Before she had a chance to order her raspberry lemonade, Harry piped up, "A whiskey on the rocks, please. And, the coconut mango cocktail."

There was a beat that passed as Carly wrote everything down. (Y/N) looked at him with raised brows. That was not at all what she had expected; wasn't he still on the clock?

For the first time, he glanced at her over his menu, something loaded in his eyes as he tipped his chin towards the leaflet with all the drink specials printed.

"And, for you?" Carly asked, facing (Y/N).

"Um," she fumbled, "Can I get a glass of Chardonnay please? And the raspberry lemonade."

(Y/N) didn't plan on drinking her wine, but felt as if she needed to match Harry in the ordering process at least.

"Alright, I will get all of that going for you, and I'll be back to take your lunch orders." With that, their waitress left, her notepad snapped shut and her gaze just a touch wary between them.

(Y/N) couldn't blame her.

A moment passed before (Y/N) dropped her menu to lay flat on the table. Harry looked up at her through his lashes.

"Are you really going to drink all of that?" Honestly, she wondered what a drunk Harry would look like.

"No," he deadpanned, "But your father is still going to pay for it whether I drink them or not."

The smile that tugged on the corner of (Y/N)'s lips was something that she couldn't help. It was out of character for the person she thought Harry to be—a loyal follower of her dad—, but definitely something she would have (and has) done herself.

"Right," she answered, gaze shifting to the menu in search of the most expensive items she could spot.

Maybe, Harry was closer to being on the same page as her than she thought.

—————

"Thank you, Carly," (Y/N) said as she signed the check, quickly passing it back to their server.

"Of course," Carly beamed. Her smile only widened when she saw the three digit tip on the line for her. "Thank you, Ms. (Y/N)."

(Y/N) didn't linger then, knowing Sully was up front waiting for them to be taken home. "Ready?" she asked Harry as she stood from her chair.

"Ready," he answered, much more relaxed than at the beginning of their meal.

Ignoring her father, (Y/N) left the bistro behind. He probably didn't even remember inviting her out for the day. It didn't matter, though, she thought.

He'd remember the three extra appetizers and handful of drinks left untouched on their table.

—————

rêvasser is to daydream in french.

I know it's a little light on harry at the start of this story but more exciting stuff is coming!!!!! thank u sm for reading, sorry for any mistakes, and if you have any fun ideas or anything please let me know !

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amsgrey · 1 year ago

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Deja Vu II

Part I

Okay so, I have been researching more and trying to get things at least somewhat accurate before I wrote part two. In the first part, I wrote TBI, with further research, what I was actually trying to write is an Anoxic brain Injury (still technically a TBI). The whole idea there is when the brain is starved of oxygen critical functions are impacted and there can be a whole bunch of differing symptoms after it. OBVIOUSLY, I am NOT a medical professional, so take everything with a big ol' grain of salt. I am thinking of writing some more parts to this but purely when I have time bc adult life sucks. I kept the ending open but also al actual end, unlike the first part. Hope it is somewhat enjoyable.

WARNINGS: Medical stay, seizures, talk of needles + medical procedures, hospitals, Will and Jay being their usually angsty selves, poor writing and zero editing

"Will?"

Abrams looked between the Halsteads, not sure what his place was. Everyone remembered when Pat Halstead passed, mostly because the Halstead brawl was talked about for weeks. Will Halstead was known for causing headaches for plenty of people around Med, he was the topic of gossip all through the building.

Abrams was saved by the bell - literally. His pager started beeping, excusing him from the brewing storm between the brothers.

"I'll put in for the tests," He tossed over his shoulder, disappearing into the stream of medical workers.

"Will." Jay snapped, glowering at his brother.

Will scrubbed a hand down his face, "Abrams needs to run more tests."

"More tests?" Jay pressed, "What just happened, Will?"

Will shook his head, looking at his younger brother he knew, telling Jay how bad this might be, would destroy him. Jay hated hospitals, hated medical things in general. Will couldn't look him in the eye and plant the same fear he had gnawing at him.

"I don't know, Jay," Will sighed, "I'm not a neurologist."

Jay didn't want to accept his answer, but Will didn't give him much of a chance. He turned back to your hospital room, forcing a smile as he entered.

"What was that about?" You asked, exactly where they left you.

"Just more tests," Will smiled. He stopped at the top of your bed, checking you over with doctor's eyes. You could always tell when he flipped between Big Brother and Doctor because Big Brother Will wore his emotions. Doctor Will was better at keeping his poker face like he was now.

Will's eyes flittered around the monitors before settling back on yours. His eyes softened, the slight furrow in his brow disappearing and a smile pulling on his lips again.

"You feeling alright?"

You nodded, "I'm just tired."

Will nodded, he reached out and brushed the hair off your forehead, "Get some sleep, yeah? We'll be here the whole time."

Jay reached out and squeezed your hand, before pulling up the blanket and tucking you in.

A few hours later, you were sitting up in your hospital bed while a Neurology Tech attached electrodes to your scalp. Jay had left for home, for a shower and clean clothes. He promised he would bring back your blanket and pillow and some other stuff to make you more comfortable, seeming Will said it would be okay.

While he was gone, Will sat at the end of the bed, holding your hand through the Electrode placement. After the Tech finished, you were attached to a monitor with wires upon wires, all differing colours. The tech apologized for the cap that sat over all the leads, promising it wasn’t too bad.

“it’s a new fashion trend,” you joked, smiling at the tech, “Nuero floor chic.”

The tech laughed, continuing her work. When she was done, she walked you through what she had done. Explaining the placement and the leads, and how it all worked.

"This is your personal EEG," She explained, gesturing to the boxy machine on wheels that your wires were attached to, "Try to keep it close."

She explained a few more things, then promised to return in a little while. In her absence, Dr. Abrams stopped through again. He looked over the techs work, mumbling to himself and making medical comments only Will understood.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

You had already taken a nap, so you weren't as tired as you had been.

"Sick of sitting," You said, stretching your legs and accidentally nudging Will in the process. Will playfully batted at your feet, feigning offence.

Abrams pulled at the EEG machine on wheels, testing how the wheels glided, "If you are feeling up for it, you can go for a small walk."

You lit up, "I can?"

"If you take it slow," Abrams ordered, "And Will is by your side."

Will nodded, "Are you feeling up for it?"

"Yes."

Will helped you detangle yourself from the blanket, letting you adjust to being fully upright for the first time that day. Your feet dangled over the bed as you took a moment to compose your spinning head. Will pulled a pair of socks over your bare feet, muttering something about keeping your toes warm. He held your arm as you stood up, supporting your weight as your body adjusted again.

"You alright?"

"Mmm," You responded, focused on staying upright.

"Okay," Will wrapped an arm around your waist, "One step at a time, we'll try to make it to the nurse's station and back."

It was slow going. With every step you took, it felt like the world was twisting, like walking through an earthquake. Will's arms hovered around you, only holding you up when you needed the support. He was so steady in his support, his warm presence keeping you grounded and calm.

Two steps outside of your room, Jay bounded up with your pillow and blanket tucked under his arm.

"They're upright," He commented, "Nice hair, too."

He reached out and pretended to ruffle your hair, careful to avoid touching the wires around your head. You reached out to smack his hand, but missed drastically.

You frowned at Jay, frustration barely contained, "Sshut. uphh."

The words sounded fumbled through your gritted teeth. Abrams had mentioned how you needed to take things slow and Will tried to tell you that it might be frustrating at first, but you weren’t expecting to feel such anger. It was gnawing away at you. A week ago you were dancing around with Makayla, wrangling her for a weekend while Kim and Adam worked. You had run around, danced, sung, every little thing that made Makayla happy. Not you hardly knew how to move your feet, could hardly tell what direction was up.

The anger grew and held firm in your head, making itself known with its red cloud fogging your mind.

Will grabbed your hand, "You okay?"

"Hmm."

Your vision blurred, everything swaying and twisting as you fell forward.

Will was faster than Jay was, for once. He saw the signs a mile away, already braced for when you would fall. He held you to his chest, lowering both of you to the ground and cradling your head as your body started to convulse.

Jay immediately dropped what he was carrying, falling to his knees by your side. Jay looked up at Will trying to ask silently what to do, but the eldest Halstead had gone full doctor mode.

"Need some help over here!" Will shouted, calling for the nurse's assistance.

"I need you to breathe,” Will spoke with such certainty, like he was treating any other patient.

“You’re okay,” Will kept repeating, “Just breathe, I’ve got you.”

Jay was ushered out of the way by the nurses, who crowded in with monitors and equipment to help Dr Halstead. All Jay could do was watch helplessly.

Jay held his breath as the medical team got you off the ground and transferred you back to the hospital bed. The leads they had removed that morning were reattached, placed on your ashen skin.

Dr Abrams rushed into the room and ordered Will to get out of his way, the forced politeness gone now the situation was emergent. Will stepped back, somewhat dubiously, letting Abrams run his team.

“How did you do that?” Jay asked when will stood by his side, the pair of them watching as Abrams and the team worked.

With a dose of meds, the convulsions stopped, but the team checked over the leads and kept working.

“Do what?” Will asked, turning to look at his brother. Jay had grown pale, the fear and anxiety he felt spelt out across his features. His eyes kept darting from you to the heart monitor screen like it was going to flatline.

“Stay so calm?” Jay whispered, taking a deep breath for the first time in the last few minutes. The nurses placed a mask over your face, securing it behind your head and then leaving the Halsteads and Abrams in the room.

“Jay…” Will tried to find a way to explain it, how he could just shut off his fear in that moment to help you. But he couldn’t find the words.

“She’s stable,” Abrams spoke in the silence that had formed, “From now on, we’ll keep giving them diazepam to keep them relaxed. No more strolls, even if it is supervised.”

Will nodded, taking it in.

Abrams was mostly speaking to Will, Jay was by your side, focused solely on you. He held your hand, careful to avoid the IV that was in the back of it. He watched you breathe, every-time you exhaled, he watched the mask fog up. He listened to the quiet puffs and the melodic beeping. You were okay. He kept trying to force himself to remember that. You were okay.

“Hopefully we can get this under control. In the meantime, we’ll keep monitoring, keep on with the EEG testing for the next few hours. Hopefully we’ll learn more.”

Will nodded, clapping Abrams on the back, “Thanks, Sam.”

The big brother in him wanted to press for answers, but the doctor in him knew that sometimes Doctors didn’t have the answers. If Abrams knew, he would share.

Will did a check over you and the monitors with his eyes, again. Then looked over to Jay, who looked completely deflated. It was no secret that Jay hated hospitals and medical treatment in general, especially needles. Spending time in hospitals usually gave him the creeps and he would always say to Will, “I don’t know how you do it, man.”

But Jay hadn’t complained even once. Not when he was watching the IV get put in your hand, or while you were attached to countless machines. Will knew it was because he felt hopeless. The same look that he wore at their dads bedside he wore now. Will stood and stared for a while, the memory playing in his mind in time with real life. This was different. You weren’t on life support like your father had been, things were different. That didn’t change the memories Will had of his dads last moments plaguing his mind.

“I stayed calm because i had too,” Will finally spoke. Jay looked up, watching his brother cross his arms over his chest and take a deep breath.

“I had to stay calm, for her.”

Jay shook his head, “I just froze, Will. And you-“

“Trained for years to react in medical emergency situations, spent years working the ER,” Will interrupted.

“Jay,” Will reached over the bed and gave jays shoulder a reassuring squeeze, “I do this every day. I know how to tune out the emotions and focus on medical stuff.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Will sat on one of the chairs, mirroring Jay across the bed, “Listen. I could never get used to being shot at, could never be shot at and react how you do. Because I’m not trained, I’m not good at that. You aren’t a doctor Jay, stop beating yourself up over something that was a basic human reaction.”

Jay didn't answer, letting silence fall over the room. Neither one of the brothers was up for a conversation, mostly just consumed with their own thoughts as they watched you sleep.

You had stirred a few times in the coming hours but mostly stayed sleeping. Will told Jay that it was a combination of the medication and the stress of recent events catching up with you. In his words, it was nothing to worry about.

"Hey," A soft voice called from the door, Will and Jay stood to greet Hailey as she stepped into the room.

Will and Jay had been off work since you had gotten worse, staying by your side or close by ever since. Both Voight and Goodwin understood, giving them all the time they needed.

"I brought some supplies," Hailey joked, handing food over to the brothers, "And I stopped by home and Wills, got some clothes."

"Thanks, Hailey."

"Yeah, Of course." Hailey stood by Jay, taking his hand for his comfort. "How's she doing?"

Will relayed the events of the day, the incident in the hall and all the things that had happened since. Things were moving fast, more tests and hopeful treatment plans were being talked about.

"It'll be okay," Will finished, mostly trying to convince Jay more than himself. He knew the look on Abram's face, knew that everything was far from okay.

Will told Jay to go back to work after a week, promising him that sitting by your side was a one-man job. Will had spoken to Goodwin, who agreed to let him take his occurred PTO for as long as he needed. So for the three weeks you were in the hospital he stayed by your side. You weren't used to having Will there every single minute of every single day, but you didn't mind it too much. Mostly he helped you go on walks or watched over you like a personal nurse. You knew that he and Jay were worried, but the overprotective brother act was suffocating at times. During the last week of your stay, you managed to convince him to let you have more space - that when he left the room you wouldn't make a break for it like Jay would. He agreed hesitantly, mostly hanging around from lunch until you fell asleep at night. You complained to Jay when he visited every day, but you were thankful he was there.

On the last few days of your time in the hospital, you were more independent, nothing like what you were before the accident, but more than before. You could walk small distances unsupported and some of your fine motor skills came back. The PT had told you it was common after TBI's for patients to lose control of their movements and motor skills, she promised that you would get better as time went on.

Dr Abrams had spoken to Will and Jay about Rehabilitation centres, there were a few in the city that focused on TBI rehabilitation but Will had been dragging his feet. Jay wanted to do what was best for you, even if it meant you might have to stay in a rehab facility. Will had a sour taste in his mouth over it all.

"Come in," Goodwin called from inside her office.

Will pushed open the door, greeting Sharon and Peter.

"What can I help you with, Doctor Halstead?" Sharon asked after Peter had left.

Will explained his plan, reviewing all the details he had sorted out. When he finished, Sharon was nodding in approval.

"Are you sure about this?"

"I am," Will was sure nothing could change his mind now.

"Okay then, I will talk to Dr Archer, and see how we can help," Goodwin bid Will the best, letting him continue on his way.

Will met Jay right outside your room, almost running straight into him.

"Will," Jay grabbed his brother's arm, "We need to talk about the rehab facility-"

"Yeah," Will nodded, "I know, i have a plan."

Will ushed Jay back into the room. He gestured to Jay to a chair and took a seat at the end of your bed. You were expecting him to stop by, sitting up properly on the bed expecting some kind of serious conversation from the eldest Halstead.

"What is it, doc?" You joked.

Will smiled, reaching out and holding your hand, "I have spoken to Dr Abrams and Sharon Goodwin and I have decided that we won't be trying to find a rehab facility."

Jay sighed, he had been arguing with Will about this for the better part of the week. "Will-"

"I think you should stay with me," Will told you directly, "I've taken a leave of absence, I think you should be home and recovering."

You looked to Jay, who was just as surprised. Jay hardly got caught off guard by Will, right now he had never been more surprised.

"Are you sure?" Jay broke the silence that settled over the room.

"If that is what you want?"

You could feel the joy blooming in your chest, a wide smile breaking across your face, "Yes. Please, yes."

Will mirrored your grin, pulling you into a tight hug and kissing your forehead. At times like this, you were reminded how much Will and Jay became like parents to you after your father's death. Although it was painful for all of you, you didn't have a good relationship with your father. He was never caring or affectionate, he never came to your sports games or awards, that was all Jay and Will. They stepped up and took care of you, they always have and promised they always would. You were so drained from the last few days of tests and the week in the hospital that you felt like you might burst into tears.

Will could sense your fragile state, staying sitting by your side and holding your hand. Jay got to his feet and pulled you into a hug too, then clapped Will on the back.

“So when am I allowed out?” You pressed, hoping to be home and somewhere familiar.

“Slow your roll,” Jay laughed, “There's still things that need to be organized.”

You let out a loud dramatic sigh, “I hate it here,” You whined.

Will wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into him and playfully messing up your hair, “It won't be too much longer, promise.”

“Pinky promise?” You raised your finger, dramatically pouting.

Will indulged you, linking his pinky through yours and giving you a serious stare, “Pinky promise.”

taglist: @halstead-severide-fan

#chicago pd x reader #chicago med #chicago pd imagine #jay halstead x reader #will halstead #jay halstead #halstead!sister #jay halstead x sister!reader #will halstead x reader #chicago med x reader #one chicago x reader #one chicago imagine #chicago med imagine #chicago fire x reader #chicago fire imagine #jay halstead imagine

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rafesapologist · 3 months ago

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the setback ─ rafe cameron; part sixteen

summary: it's been two years since your departure from the outer banks and rafe cameron has seemingly convinced himself that he can go on with his life as if you never happened, except now more than ever his addiction is at an all time high. whether he was snorting lines of cocaine at wild parties or drowning himself in alcohol to numb the pain, rafe couldn't escape the memories of you. despite his efforts to bury his feelings, your absence lingered like a shadow, haunting him at every turn. meanwhile, you've been navigating life outside the outer banks, trying to carve out a new path for yourself. but no matter how far you've traveled, the memories of rafe cameron still linger in your heart, leaving you with a sense of unfinished business. as you find yourself facing new challenges and opportunities, you can't help but wonder if fate will eventually bring you back to the place where it all began.

warnings: drug use, alcohol, plot twist

author's note: okay i have to admit i havent sat down and wrote in awhile so pls forgive any errors, love u all

The following days felt rather protracted for Rafe since your sudden egress that morning at the Cameron's residence. His father was still absent as usual, likely plotting some sort of reprisal for the threats Rafe had made at the dock since it was unlike him to let such a thing go that easily. Truthfully, Rafe couldn't have cared less about whatever vengeance his father was brewing in his depraved mind, he could only seem to think about one specific thing as if his thoughts were a record that only had one track to play. You.

The hypothetically 'reasonable' thing to do would be to reach out to one of your friends, but knowing them, they'd glue their mouths shut before giving away where you were to him. But aside from the Pogues, there was really no one else to go to for answers besides them. Rafe knew you had a tumultuous, basically non-existent, relationship with your parents, therefore they'd be rendered no use in the search for you. Every option seemed to lead to a dead end for him, seeing how you kept your circle of friends diminutive and your family disconnected. It was practically impossible to find you.

Rafe realized he had made a mistake showing up unannounced when you had returned to the island, and that it had nearly drove you to despise him even more than you did before. He couldn't make the same mistake again, not when your view of him was now dimmed and tainted by the allegations that he was out to destroy you and your friends. The relationship between you and Rafe was more fragile than ever, and Rafe wondered if the situation itself was enough to diminish any chance he had of being with you again.

It felt like a cruel joke was being played on him. He finally had you back after two years of longing to see your face again outside of a chipped pixelated phone screen, an agonizing wait that was worth every minute of affliction he endured while you were gone. But now, it was like the past was repeating itself, a horrid nightmare that haunted Rafe like a bitter old friend.

Rafe did the only things he knew to do to cope with your disappearance—coke and parties. Like retracing the steps on a well-worn path, every turn feeling like deja vu with every line he inhaled. Sure it didn't make him forget about you, but it sure did make the pain more manageable.

"Damn Rafe, I haven't seen you rage this hard since your dad tried kicking you out last year," Topper's drab tone rang through Rafe's ears, although fortunately for him, his friend was far too high to pay it any mind.

Rafe responded with a half-hearted chuckle while he carelessly bent back down to the table to inhale one last line of the white powdered substance before him. He breathed it in with an ease only a seasoned addict could do, a shameful talent he acquired in an attempt to mend his affliction.

"Yeah, well," Rage shrugged, wiping his nose of residue, "he's good at bringing that side out of me."

Topper's brows furrowed at the remark, feeling as if it was a subtle hint at what Rafe was going through. It would only make sense if Ward had been the reason his son was becoming a full blown addict again, since Rafe held his father's words to a much higher degree than anyone else's.

"Hey, why don't we lay off for a bit and get some drinks?" The blond added, a pang of worry coursing through him at Rafe's flushed and disoriented complexion, his pupils dilated to the max.

With droopy eyelids and a gaunt look on his face, Rafe's hazy gaze met Topper's with a faint smirk present across his lips, "Yeah, I could use another drink." He slurred while he gave his friend an inept pat on the shoulder before wandering off to the bar.

As he strode through the crowd of people, Rafe's usual posh appearance was replaced with disarray. His hair had fallen into uneven tufts, his face pallid and streaked with sweat. His azure colored eyes were glossy and unfocused, darting around the room with an unsettling lack of coordination. His typical arrogant, assertive demeanor stripped away by a slack-jawed, dazed expression. If it weren't for the fact that he was surrounded by a hundred other intoxicated people, perhaps someone would've been concerned by the way he looked.

The more steps he took, the more he could feel himself go in and out of consciousness. The loud, thumping music and flashing lights only heightened the symptoms of his high as he reached a euphoric state. The world around him was hazy and blurred but he felt a blissful peace as his once-racing thoughts suddenly went silent. It was the first time in days Rafe had felt anything besides grief and anger. Between you and his father, he felt like a burden under the scrutiny he faced by the ones who knew him best, and figured, maybe you two were right; maybe he was the problem.

Before he could reach the bar, Rafe felt a finger tap him on the shoulder, urging him to turn around. He sluggishly turned to face whoever it was, only to be met with disappointment at the sight of a familiar brunette standing before him.

"Holy shit, what happened to you?" Sofia looked in horror at the sight of Rafe's sickly complexion.

He rolled his eyes, annoyed by her comment, "What do you want, Sofia?" Rafe grumbled through his slurred speech.

"I.. came to say hi cause I thought I saw you across the room. Didn't expect to see you here," she replied hesitantly while she continued to observe his bloodshot eyes.

He scoffed at Sofia's remark, his voice dripping with a mix of anger and derision. “Haven’t you done enough?” he shot back, his eyes narrowing into sharp slits. “It’s bold of you to even come up and talk to me right now.”

Sofia’s eyes widened at the venom in his tone, her brow furrowing with a blend of hurt and frustration. “Look, Rafe, I know what I did and I’m sorry but—”

“No,” Rafe cut her off sharply, his voice like a jagged edge. “A bullshit ‘I’m sorry’ isn’t going to fix what you did. And besides, you should be apologizing to Y/N, not me.”

Her face fell, the weight of his words hitting her like a cold splash of water. “I know,” she said quietly, her voice trembling. “I made a mistake and I let my emotions get the best of me, Rafe. I was just so angry seeing you with her that I lost it.”

Rafe rolled his eyes, a harsh scoff escaping his lips. “I don’t give a fuck how you felt. You had no right shoving her into the pool like that. What if something worse happened to her? Then what? Your apology means nothing to me.”

Sofia's eyes filled with tears, her lower lip quivering as she struggled to hold back her emotions. “I didn’t think... I wasn’t thinking clearly. I was so caught up in my own pain and jealousy that I didn’t see how wrong I was.”

Rafe’s face remained a storm of anger and disappointment. “It’s not just about you and me anymore. It’s about her, and the fact that you let your anger turn into something so cruel.” His voice cracked slightly, betraying the depth of his frustration and helplessness.

Sofia’s shoulders slumped, her voice barely a whisper now. “I’m sorry, Rafe. I just… I can’t stand seeing you with her after all we went through together. You promised me forever.”

The words hung in the air like a heavy fog, muffling the chaotic noise of the bar around them. Rafe's face softened slightly, a mix of weariness and regret settling over his features. He looked at her, seeing the remnants of a pain he once knew intimately, but now felt so distant.

“Forever?” Rafe echoed, his voice rough with a blend of bitterness and exhaustion. “That was a long time ago, Sofia. Things change. People change.”

He ran a hand through his disheveled hair, the weight of the situation pulling him down. “What we had is over. I’m with her now, and you forcing yourself into this situation only makes things worse. I need to focus on fixing what’s broken.”

Sofia’s eyes glistened with unshed tears as she shook her head slowly. “I know it’s over. I just didn’t want to be forgotten like this, to be left behind so easily.”

Rafe's expression hardened again, a wall of frustration rising between them. “It’s not about forgetting you,” he said, his tone sharp but tinged with a hint of sorrow. “It’s about moving forward. I’m trying to make things right for her, for us. But right now, all I see is a mess that needs fixing. And you’re only adding to it.”

Sofia's plea cut through the din of the bar, her voice cracking with desperation. “Please, Rafe, I only want what’s best for you. Please don’t shut me out like this.”

Rafe hesitated, his hand gripping the edge of the bar as he struggled with his own conflicted emotions. He turned back to face her, his eyes weary and clouded by the weight of everything that had transpired.

“Best for me?” he repeated, his voice hollow. “You don’t get to decide what’s best for me, Sofia. You had your chance, and you made your choices."

Sofia's face hardened, a steely determination replacing the remorse in her eyes. "Then I’m sorry for what’s going to happen, Rafe. I truly am."

Rafe’s brow furrowed, his inebriated mind struggling to grasp the gravity of her words. "What do you mean by that?" he asked, a chill creeping into his voice as he sensed the shift in her demeanor.

Sofia’s expression grew somber, her tone taking on a more serious, almost threatening edge. "I was going to tell you that your dad came to me and offered me a proposition. If I did something for him, he’d pay me a large sum. At first, I wanted to reject his offer, come to you, and do the right thing. But seeing how you reacted tonight... I really need the money, Rafe. I’m sorry."

The words hit Rafe like a sledgehammer. His heart pounded violently in his chest, the alcohol-induced fog momentarily lifting as fear and anger surged through him. “What did he ask you to do?” he demanded, his voice sharp and urgent.

Sofia’s gaze dropped to the floor, guilt and fear mingling in her eyes. “I can’t say,” she whispered. “But it’s something that could hurt you and... someone you care about. I didn’t want to, but I’m desperate, Rafe. I’m sorry.”

Rafe felt the room spin as his mind raced. The reality of Sofia’s admission was like a brutal awakening, the weight of his father’s manipulative schemes crashing down on him with full force. He took a step closer, his face inches from Sofia’s, his voice a low, dangerous growl. “No, Sofia. You aren’t going to touch her. I swear to God, if you do—”

The threat hung in the air, taut with menace, each word charged with a volatile mixture of fear and fury. His fists clenched so tightly that his knuckles turned white, the intensity of his emotions almost palpable.

Sofia’s eyes widened, her fear evident as she recoiled slightly from the raw intensity in his gaze. “Rafe, I—I don’t want to hurt anyone. I’m just... trapped. I didn’t know it would come to this.”

Sofia’s shoulders slumped under the weight of her decision, her eyes squeezed shut as if to block out the gravity of her choices. “Sof, don’t do this,” Rafe pleaded, his voice raw and desperate. “You don’t have to do what he says. No amount of money is worth this.”

Her head shook slowly, each movement punctuating the anguish on her face. “I didn’t mean for it to come like this,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “But I already made the deal. So now it’s either my life or hers, and I have to look out for myself, Rafe.”

The words struck Rafe with the force of a physical blow, his heart clenching painfully at the realization of the desperate position Sofia had put herself in. The intensity of his feelings for you surged anew, a fierce protectiveness that burned in his chest. “You’re choosing your own safety over someone’s life,” he said, his voice trembling with a mix of anger and heartbreak. “You know what that makes you?”

Sofia’s gaze remained fixed on the floor, her tears tracing a path down her cheeks as she wrestled with her torment. “You have no idea what it’s like to live like a Pogue, Rafe,” she said, her voice barely more than a whisper. “This is my only chance to have a second chance at a better life for myself. And if this is what it takes, then… so be it.”

Her words cut through Rafe like a knife, the raw pain and desperation in her voice mingling with the weight of her choices. He could see the conflict etched into her features, the inner struggle between her dire circumstances and the moral cost of her actions. It was a choice born out of desperation, not cruelty, and the complexity of her situation only deepened his own anguish.

Rafe took a step closer, his voice soft but resolute. “I get that you’re in a tough spot, but you don’t have to sacrifice your own humanity to escape it. There’s always another way, Sofia. We just have to find it.”

Sofia shook her head, her eyes still lowered, as if the weight of her decision was too heavy to bear. “I wish I could believe that,” she murmured. “But right now, this is all I see. I’m sorry, Rafe. I never wanted it to come to this.”

Rafe’s voice trembled with desperation as he reached out to Sofia, his eyes pleading. “Sofia, I can’t let you do this. Just tell me where she is, please. I’ll do anything.”

Sofia’s shoulders sagged further under the weight of his plea. She looked at him with a mixture of anguish and resignation, the fight in her fading as the reality of his desperation sank in. She took a deep, shuddering breath, her resolve crumbling in the face of his earnestness.

“I… I can’t,” she said softly, her voice cracking. “It’s not that simple, Rafe. I’m bound by the deal, and if I break it, there’s no telling what might happen to me—or to you.”

Sofia’s eyes were heavy with the burden of her choices, her face etched with torment as she looked at Rafe. She could see the raw desperation in his eyes, the plea for her to help you cutting through the veil of her own fears and guilt.

“Rafe,” she began, her voice trembling, “I know you’re begging me, and I wish I could give you what you want. But I can’t jeopardize my life like this. You don’t understand—”

Before she could finish, Rafe cut her off, his voice strained with emotion. “I don’t care about your life right now, Sofia. I care about hers. You know what you’re doing is wrong. There has to be another way.”

Sofia’s gaze softened momentarily, tears brimming in her eyes. She took a deep, shuddering breath, struggling to keep her composure. “I can’t tell you, Rafe. I’m sorry. I... I have to go.” She turned away, her footsteps echoing with the weight of her decision, leaving Rafe with a suffocating sense of dread and urgency.

As she walked away, Rafe stood rooted to the spot, the last remnants of his resolve dissolving into an all-consuming fear. The finality in Sofia’s voice was a harsh reminder of the time slipping away, the enormity of his task pressing down on him like a relentless storm.

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