#it sucks and it hurts
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Reminder: Manipulation is manipulation even if it's unintentional
#it sucks and it hurts#idk what to do but i know i cant stay i dont hate her i just cant keep doing this its destroying my mental healh#and my physical health too because my anxiwty about it lately has been making throw up so much and im not hungry but i try to eat anyways#cuz like body need food#i got a dabdwich doen todau at least despite everything happening so#storage#fox
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ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:
i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???
#ramble#sorry i'm currently in a phase of 'of course this happened' and 'oh i deserve this because i didn't give him what he wanted'#like he knew i was grey ace since the start. and he let it go on for SO long after i said i might be vaguely aro as well#if that's a dealbreaker for you bc of your love language then FINE but NIP IT IN THE BUD#he said he put it off because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but it only hurt me MORE#like you're an adult. grow the fuck up and communicate like one#holding your negative feelings in hoping somebody notices you're hiding them is what TEENAGERS do#and also i told him VERBATIM: i didn't think anyone would ever love me because i'm not comfortable with xyz. and he just confirmed that#idk i still feel like i'm being selfish because how could i expect someone to be in a relationship with me when i can't give them anything#also tmi but it's not like we did NOTHING. we still held hands/cuddled/were close. he just didn't have his tongue down my throat anymore#so obviously i'm assuming by 'missing affection' he just meant sex and as an ace person that just fucking sucks#also oh my god i HATED how much he would imply we were going to have sex. i would have to keep SAYING 'i don't like doing this'#he always spoke like it was inevitably going to happen and it didn't click how GROSS i felt about it until recently#also ALSO not to go there but i never told him WHY i struggle with it (it's sensory issues)#and like. what if something had happened to me that made it hard for me and i just wasn't ready to tell him. and then he did this#again sorry to overshare this is still just a lot for me and i have no idea if i'm being unreasonable#if you're ace and in a relationship please let me know bc i'm starting to think it'll end this way every single time
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Remember: The burning sensation is part of the process.
#Mouthwashing#blood#body horror#Emphasizing here that this is in reference to a media and character and not a cry for help on my end.#Mouthwashing is one of those games that tickles my brain and checks all the boxes for my niche interests -#-but it wasn't something that got the silly comic part in my cortex firing up. My analysis brain is eating well though!#What said...It is impossible for me to see this scene and not say out loud: “Me in the middle of my work day".#While there is a lot more going on with curly I personally resonated a lot with his struggles with burnout.#Burnout feels like mouthwash to me. That you keep rinsing out your mouth trying to get rid of the rotting smell#but it's just surface level solutions. The real cure requires something far more significant to actually make a difference.#The job 'is hard' and 'everyone struggles'. It's part of the process right? You're tired? Anxious? Depressed? Us too! Chin up!#Actually I resonated with a lot of things within Curly (this is a curly positive space - he's not perfect. He's just human).#One thing being his desire to see the good in people and believe in their potential.#Because here's the thing. Some people truly do just need someone in their corner who stands by them so they can grow and improve.#And some people will take advantage of your kindness. You focus so much on their humanity while you stop being a person to them.#The horrifically toxic relationship persists because Curly tries to see the bigger picture and believes in the good within.#Anyone who has lived through constantly trying to reframe the hurt as something else knows-#-just how many excuses your brain will make to avoid cognitive dissonance. It's human psychology.#Jimmy sucks so bad. But we the audience have the privilege of not having years of baggage associating him in our minds as 'friend'.
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I don't care how angry you are, but you must never ever attack someone with personal stuff they shared with you and trusted you with when you were on good terms. Or spread it somewhere for everyone to see.
#text#mine#respecting each other is so important#i know getting hurt sucks and we have the impulse to make them hurt just as much but I can't stress this enough#nsft concept#bd/sm community
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Day 5 - caf since my scribbles can be totally illegible, here’s a transcript Obi-Wan: Here you go, Cody Cody: Oh, thanks, sir Cody: this... it’s caf? Obi-Wan: Ah, yes! I’ve noticed my teas are not really to your tastes, so I stocked up some caf for you instead! I hope it’s okay Cody: ... oh Cody: ...thank you.
#codywan#obi wan kenobi#commander cody#star wars#tcw#starwarstober23#little comic#I absolutely love the trope of them doing flimsiwork together and drinkin tea and caf#and Cody doesn't really like the teas Obi-Wan gives him but drinks them anyway because no one has EVER offered him something like that#and he'd rather jump out of an airlock than hurt Obi-Wan's feelings#so he sucks it up and drinks it and maybe even almost likes one blend or two#but ofc Obi-Wan notices at some point that Cody obviously isn't a big fan of teas so he'll get him caf instead#and if Cody already marveled at someone offering him something like tea this is a whole another level#a cup of caf is practically a love letter to Cody#I love them so much#codywan every day all the time#THEM#idiots in love#I also always struggle with coloring comics like do I color them or not????? so they end up colored kinda in this half-assed way usually#also if it hasn't become clear yet I can't draw backgrounds and struggle with that too so everything always takes place in some weird LIMBO#my arts
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the brainworms are kiiling me. have a dad and son 👍︎
#papyrus#gaster#dadster#undertale#theres still not enough papyrus and dadster content where sans isnt present compared to the other way around#what will be enough you ask? well idk the exact amount cus numbers are infinite but yaknow#gaster supports let papyrus say fuck day#i believe he just sucks at parenting so papyrus cussed his whole life#and since gaster found out about the holiday papyrus has been nothing but encouraged by his dad#mostly out of spite towards the people who still believe his son to be 5 years old#im sorry i saw someone refer to papyrus as a prec**s cin***on ro*l and had to do something#my shoulder hurts so bad and drawing and typing worsens it and i have an exam tommorow i need to rest it for and look what im doing.#being silly.#>:[
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Moments carved out
#i am so happy for my lesbians but also everything hurts and sucks#but also i love it ofc#laudna#imogen temult#imodna#critical role#bells hells#cr 3#critical role fanart#id in alt text#my art
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Hannibal hooking himself on Will's lure (and it piercing through his skin/person suit and leaving him bleeding).
#hannibal#nbc hannibal#hannibaledit#hannibal lecter#will graham#jack crawford#m*#some more thoughts for consideration: hannibal sucks his thumb into his mouth and the sound is 'not unlike a kiss'#even though it hurts he can't help but welcome it#he also tastes his own blood....and his blood is running into his mouth in mizumono#the details the details#long post
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Slow dance with you.
Now this is crazy with no heterosexual explanation. Told yall this would be my fruitiest art 😩
Oh and I think Espio should run !
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic fanart#sth#espio the chameleon#silver the hedgehog#espilver#sir galahad#satbk sir lancelot#satbk#satbk sir galahad#satbk king arthur#since their there in the end yk#Therye dancing out in the woods with no one to disturb them! or at least they thought-#gone gay not clickbait#inserted some dadow in there teehee#WHERE ARE THOSE EYES LOOKING AT SIR??? WHAT IS THAT#these losers are queer if this wasnt obvious#my hands hurt-#ignore the many tags i like to yap#i suck at titles so I took it from a youtube video I found JWSHSJDJDJ#WTF DO YOU MEAN I TOOK 7 HOURS WITH THIS???
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utterly disgusted with this country. the hate for women, the lgbtq+ community, sa/abuse victims. . it blows my mind but i cannot say im surprised when this country was built on racism, sexism, and so on.
#i deleted most of my socials.#i need a cleanse#i don’t wanna hear any complaints from you mfs that voted red#and for my black people . . it rlly sucks that we have to carry shit on our backs and advocate for the good only to be betrayed by others#especially those who steal how we speak and our culture as a whole#it hurts me#extremely deeply#𝜗ৎ ˚⋅ 𝖞𝖚𝖕 𝖙𝖍𝖆𝖙’𝖘 𝖒𝖊.
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A redraw of @notsolonedesert Eurymene comic panel, from Odysseus' perspective 🤙🏿 (We know he's sneaking around Eurymene when they're having cute time)
Look at this— it's so cute 🥹🫶🏿💕
#fanart#epic the musical#greek mythology#art#digital art#epic fanart#my art#eurylochus#epic eurylochus#eurylochus x ctimene#ctimene fanart#epic ctimene#ctimene x eurylochus#ctimene#eurylochus fanart#eurymene#perspective drawing sucks#my hands hurt#ejfgjebrksbd
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This is what I look like waiting for Tylenol to kick on FYI
#funny to me#my body hurts#i havent even clocked in yet haaa#its gonna be a long day#its mostly my hands too which sucks cause most of my work is using my hands#ahahaaaa#not a vent#mostly#its supposed to be funny
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if virgil was in a horror movie he'd probably be first to die
#ts4#sims 4#ts4 render#edits#humbly asking you to not look at this in the app the quality SUCKS#ahhhhhh i got a rly cool ask prompt (thank u shan)#what would my ocs be doin if they were in horror media#i was going to post this with the ask but i also have like... 6 other edit ideas#that i plan on making ☠️ so i will post them one at a time#my throat hurts SO bad i'm def gonna be sick by tmrw 😔#i didn't get to birthday asks yet sorry 💔 i suck but ily#goodnight#/virgil#do i need to tw this?#tw creepy#?? maybe lol
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Inktober No. 9 - Omniscient + Bruises
This is unfinished. It is not at all what I had in mind for how it should look like in the end.
I messed up and accidentally painted it all on the sketch layer (again - *eye roll*). Fixing it would mean start from the beginning. I am a mess because my depression is pretty bad at the moment and I guess this work reflects that. I couldn't get myself to giving it another try.
The plan was a watercolour piece - in colour, with a proper background, but...
Prompts from @bluebellofbakerstreet's amazing prompt list and the @whumptober prompt list for Inktober 2024.
I am flattered if you reblog, but do NOT post my art on other sites/social media or use in any other way without my written permission.
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like tree, like apple
#NEPO BABIES UNITE 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥#myart#elias bouchard#gwen bouchard#gwendolyn bouchard#tma#tmp#tmagp#the magnus archives#the magnus protocol#it’s technically both of them ok. dont bite my head off thank uuuu#eyestrain#week 2 pacing around the house thinking about the bouchard family and how much everyone sucks there#actually unbearable people to be around#inb4 next week’s episode proves that elias has never existed or whatever. WHATEVER. LEAVE ME ALONE#in my heart i know the reveal is happning in like (opens my third eye) s2. and in my heart i know they are siblings#Ok. Trust me on this one. inb4 they reveal elias to be some estranged uncle#as u can see i’ve thought about this a normal amount#I just made like my appendix hurt thinking sbout how much i want them to interact it’s over BRO IT’S OVERRRR#the way every bouchard is straight up Doomed because of their upbringing . UNWELL. inb4 gwen becomes the head of oiar and it’s all fucked.#There is something much more sinister going on
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Why.. why does this always happen to me 😭
#I’m going to disappear for awhile#idk if I’m coming back#this one fucking hurts#I always give more than I get back from people#you don’t want to hurt.. but are hurting me rn? that makes so much sense#trans#transgender#trans pride#transisbeautiful#mtf#transgirl#girlslikeus#mtf hrt#maletofemale#transformation#trans dating#trans dating sucks#trans woman#transwomen#trans women#trans women are beautiful#transexual#this is what trans looks like#i don’t want to live anymore#idk if I’ll make it past today#suicidal#I’m never good enough#why do i do this to myself#i wanna die#SoundCloud
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