#i deleted most of my socials.

[st4rbwrry]

utterly disgusted with this country. the hate for women, the lgbtq+ community, sa/abuse victims. . it blows my mind but i cannot say im surprised when this country was built on racism, sexism, and so on.

[ping-ski]

yk what i WILL share my old dragonfruit ship art from like 2 years ago lol. starting with these!! <3 (will share more later)

[leverage-ot3]

my drafts finally ran out and I’ve been too exhausted to go through like 2k worth of drafts to tag so apologies abt break in posting

urgent question: if you have any tips about recognizing undercover cops and ICE agents please write below. I never thought my very liberal state would come to this but I live in an area with a very high level of immigrants + multiple municipalities are basically de facto sanctuary cities since they have extra protections written into local law

I work at a healthcare facility that sees high numbers of new americans (with varying ‘legal’ statuses). there are reports from individuals within the local spanish speaking whatsapp channels that ICE is stopping people on their way to our healthcare facility. I can’t disclose too much without revealing highly identifying information about who I am and where I work, but higher management is not handling this good enough. everyone in my department (social work) is outraged and will do whatever it takes to protect the people we serve regardless of management. they deny it’s happening because it wasn’t happening when they went outside to look but that doesn’t mean shit- they’re 100% making rounds and patrolling. we are likely going to start taking walks during our limited breaks around the neighborhood to keep lookout. I’d much rather have a patient do telehealth or reschedule, or have them wait in my office an extra 20 minutes instead of possibly getting stopped by undercover agents. with the recent executive orders healthcare facilities aren’t even respected as sensitive locations discouraged from being raided anymore.

so yeah. any tips on spotting any undercover cops/ICE would be swell. funnily enough I have been thinking a lot about that one thing eliot said about undercover law enforcement and shoes. I’ve also been researching that already + rights and what to tell patients + everything else I can think of BUT thought I’d float it out here as well

stay safe, everyone in the US and outside. you are cared for, loved, important. you matter and deserve to be treated with humility and respect. look after each other

[rabbitrah]

Honestly the past several years I've seen an uptick in people straight-up demonizing eating disorder sufferers. I only see eds mentioned if it's in the context of accusing something/someone of trying to cause eating disorders or covertly hide their eating disorder or a recovered person saying "look at me when I had an ed I was so so so sick but I'm not sick now I'm normal now I'm a better person now" or other people implying that eating disorders are like? A choice??? That someone participates in so that they can make other people feel bad (?) Like I feel like we've reached the point where people can only acknowledge their ed if they're putting ashes on their head the whole time and saying "I'm not a bad person I'm not a bad person I'm not a bad person."

[icewindandboringhorror]

sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:

thing that I already do

thing I have tried 10 times

thing I already do

thing that I don't have the money to do

thing I already do

thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail

thing that is impossible given my situation

thing that doesn't apply to me

thing that I already do

thing I have already tried

hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently

thing I have already done

[a-god-in-ruins-rises]

actually...

looking at a bunch of my old favorite mutuals blogs that have been inactive for years. i miss them, even if i never really talked to any of them. when you're mutuals with a person for so long they become a comforting presence even without talking. you see them every day and read their posts about their thoughts or feelings or about what's going on in their life and so on. and they just become a part of your daily life in such a subtle way.

and then one day they just never post again. without warning. shit sucks. i actually hate it.

[zafiro-anyejo]

i wonder if everyone is like this when they date, or marry, or just live with a friend.

i wonder if everyone else feels like a scroll unfurled, like 'my best friend and roommate likes me for me!'

but the moment family visits, people i grew up with for 18 or 20 years, i find my personality folding in on itself, delicately, and creasing at the edges.

but sometimes i unfold, just a little, to say a joke, or do something nice. or even make a comment (something i think is informative or witty but probably isn't). and half the time it is met with annoyance. so. i stay compact. and crisply folded, until i can be myself again after they're gone.

[linterteatime]

Sorry for this, but people have been really fucking annoying on the comments of my posts lately that I'm really really considering privating the blog for some days or something bruh💀

[hornyyeehaw]

I’m realizing that I really don’t know how to reconcile sex with intimacy or with desire, and a lot of it is rooted in my own self-policing as a butch. Over the past few years, I’ve found that I can have enjoyable sex with someone on the condition that I am a dom service top who goes home after it’s done, and it’s no longer working for me the way it used to. I’ve had exes very explicitly tell me the whole premise of our relationship was a desire to monogamously keep me close to fuck them when they wanted, and I think I’ve internalized this as my one and only purpose. In my head, I know that I don’t have to be a top, or a dom, but when that opportunity actually arises, it’s like something in my chest immediately slams the doors closed and tells me off.

Real intimacy feels, in my experience, like it has no place within sex. Like it’s a disservice to my partner to have any desire of intimacy within our relationship. And when it does exist anyway, suddenly it’s too real and too serious and I have to walk away from it. It becomes this cycle of self-depravation and self-loathing, and I fear that it’s now at a place where it affects (or is close to affecting) others. The existence of my feelings feels like an inherit burden to others, even though I know logically that’s not true. Sex has become this ritual of care/service I perform for someone else so that I’ll feel like I’ve earned their affection, and then I hate myself for craving that affection, so I never ask for it and push it away when it’s offered. And the few partners who have told me that they like me as a person, I get so embarrassed and closed off about being so obviously needy to them, even though logically that’s also not true! I can’t have sex anymore without crying afterwards, which I haven’t done in years. I just don’t know what to do anymore, or even what my next steps are going to be. It’s tremendously lonely and the only issue, it seems, is myself.

I’m definitely going to talk about it in therapy and take the time to reflect on it maturely, but ever since I figured out how to put this into words, it’s been eating me up. I don’t say any of this to complain or make a sob story. I’m only posting this in case other butches (or dykes in general) have any similar experiences and feelings, just in case saying something like this can make you feel a little less alone

[dinoswordsb]

Ok peace for a few days everyone buh bye!

[lostherlemons]

hello beloved mutuals please tell me how you have been i miss you all. anybody eat any good food lately. what are u watching.

[noctlas332]

day 16 nurse robot type t

i usually do not want to make alt versions of these daily "daily" doodles, but i think there is enough weird colour layers over this one to warrant that

[tittyinfinity]

contemplating deleting my blog soon I might make a new blog but idk

[canisalbus]

just a quick ask to tell u it makes me super happy seeing the detail u go into when pointing out stuff u like about other people's art of ur ocs :3 it's so rare to see but it's so so motivating!! <3

Thank you! I don't take any interest for my art for granted, and if someone goes through the trouble of drawing my characters for me, I feel like trying to write a proper response is the least I can do. For a visually oriented person, receiving gift/fan art is a huge deal, it means someone considered my goobers worth their time and effort, they've probably been thinking about them more than a little and found them inspiring in a way or another, and I find that terribly flattering. It's extremely fun and interesting to see other people's takes on them. And I've drawn stuff for people as well, I know how nice and rewarding it feels to receive a response that is longer than a word or two. Positive comments like that can linger in people's minds for a long time, at least for me they do.

[y-vna]

Ty for 400!

It may be 1:30am, but honestly, I just felt like I wanted to write this. Thank you for 400 followers!! That's crazy. I'm super thankful, and honestly, it means a lot to me! <3 super excited for more to come, I hope my moodboards rn are up to standards!

I'm not tagging anyone this time since I don't want to disturb everyone every time I write one of these. Just know all my mooties and idols r amazing, and I love them. You guys know who you are, ily 💕

Just a boring text post for this milestone post cuz I can't be bothered rn ahh

Teeny Itty bitty vent in tags since I can't get my life tghtr rn erm! Don't feel pressured to read it, idrc ig?? 😭😭

[icewindandboringhorror]

a quite simple outfit, trying to use the little blue and white apron thing (which is actually a dress I think, that I just leave un-buttoned in the back and added an apron-like tie to lol)