#it sucks actual ass to think SOME people out there only hc John to be a physical abuser because its the only type that renders in their head

[brothersfuck]

John: I raised my sons to be soldiers but I never hit them. I left them alone to fend for themselves, taught them how to shoot when I should have been reading them bed time stories, and drank myself half way to death, causing them to see my anger tantrums at my wife dying in front of my eyes but I have, up until the day I died, never laid a hand on them. They are still Mary's sons too. (This is proven with the episode in which someone just like Sam in the earliest seasons had shot himself because their dad+uncle beat them every day, Sam goes on to say that thankfully John never beat them like that, or him and Dean would have turned out the same) (The look Sam gives in Flagstaff after Dean told him what happened when John saw that Sam was missing? That wasn't because John physically abused Dean. That was because Sam very well knew how badly John could treat someone before even thinking of hitting them. John would berate dean, abuse him emotionally, and then leave dean to fend off for himself in a dingy motel with a few hundred bucks..that is John, John is not a physical abuser) (Sam telling the girl in a flashback that he knows how parents get when they're mad? John doesn't hit, but he does throw shit around, and generally not towards his sons. He cries. He drinks more. But Sam's depiction of anger at the time, because he was a CHILD, became terrifying to him. In his brain, John was making loud noises, drinking bad drinks, and passing out on the bed with a bottle in his hands. ME TELLING YOU THIS DOES NOT MEAN I EXCUSED ANY OTHER FORM OF ABUSE HE GAVE TO HIS CHILDREN)

Fans, for some reason: uhh yeah, sorry the only type of abuse we can accept in our 2D paper flat world minds is physical abuse. So. You're a physical abuser now. Oh and for some reason you also never hit Sam ever and you only hit Dean. Yup. Any other form of abuse is disregarded by us because we don't think it's real!! And we can only follow in line of stereotypes. You never loved your kids! #obvious!!!

[pleafyistired]

rtumblr's eating flesh capability and their own flesh

im bored, part 1? some character i dont have much info so i dont write about them/too long next part

fluffy:

eating flesh: Good of course, drink blood, currently crying and eating a blue popping alien liver as i type this. can distinct blood flavour which to me imply sensitive taste buds

flesh: i. VERY dubious i mean they come out of rtcler which is already dubious as Fuck but also their list of father is Concerning. not even talking about the strings they have which they can control which imply nerves???? really fucked if you think about it. and i dont think they look so tasty and i dont think getting the meat is even worth it.

copper:

eating flesh: go to cat on wiki /hj ok but also since i hc them to have at least some copper (material) in them so... do you know copper cant be dissolve in hydrochloric acid? so chances are they can carry around a more concentrated amount of acid to dissolve meat... though more dubious meat probably would give them a stomach ache

flesh: cat. but also copper. (fun fact i tasted cat meat before. its a normal thing in my country. doesnt taste bad could be worse but just. eh. i dont like it that much.)

Void:

eating flesh: I mean. theyre the Void they probably can eat anything

flesh: are you Sure youre not going to die trying to eat the Void?

Aamit:

eating flesh: i feel like if they eat the wrong peanut butter they will explode. so i think his stomach sucks. the only thing they eat is coffee and spite

flesh: very good! if you like the coffee. though otherwise good meat and eatable. probably up there in the most eatable guys in rtumblr

Rtcler:

eating flesh: he doesnt have much info about his eating habbits but i think hes a cannibal kinda guy! i mean how bad can it possibly be! he doesnt have any strongs opinion he just eat any flesh

flesh: i Mean i Think hes human...? but also he gave birth to fluffy..? require further investigation and stalking. though he looks Tasty so maybe you can eat him. ...he said he has milk? so... bonus drink if you can milk him before slaughtering him for flesh idk. or just duplicate his cells and milk him. milk that white twink ass

Magical John:

eating flesh: plaunt!! good at eating flesh!! moldy ones too!!! rotten meat!!!! he slay people and steal their dead body's meat to eat!! he can eat rtsans bones if he want to!!!! can he be evil and do that please

flesh: ew vegetables /j he does have meat! but also his cells is like a hybrid between plant and animal cells... Schrodinger vegan meat.... ...he also have "milk" which is just. his blood- so if you want his "milkies" then instead of milking the nipples like rtcler (i hate my job actually /lh) you can cut him up! other than that hes eatable and since hes plant also you get fiber!!! finally... we can shit now... and he grows back too so you can eat and drink even More :)

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[pogueszn]

a sprout master post

with the amount of asks i got and the things i’ve got going on in my personal life i don’t think i can answer them all before the season drops (which was i wanted to do) and these asks have been sitting in my inbox for too long already and i don’t just want to leave you all hanging so i thought i would compile a majority of the sprout asks here so you guys can read them, or add on to them or something! i’m gonna answer a few sprout asks and the random ones that are there later today some time, or tomorrow if i can’t find the time today! 

you guys going to a cameron party and there’s a photo booth and jj and teeny sprout are in line, and he’s like “okay when she says 3 you have to smile okay?” and sprout smiles so huge and it’s gummy to the point you see all of her dimples

going to a big city and your condo is has floor to ceiling windows and sprout crawls up to it and presses her slobbery face against it and jj is liek “enjoying the view princess?”

sprout bonding with nana heyward 🥺

baby sprouty sleeping in her bassinet and pope is over and she’s fussing and jj is like “see even your nerd talk bothers the baby”

Sprout laying on the ground and JJ is laying next to her and he’s like “I love youuuuu” and she does that cute newborn sleepy smile

going to the bookstore and everyone knows sprout and when you guys check out the cashiers like “your uncle popes phone number sprout?” and she’s like “yes peez”

ward holding sprouty while he’s talking business and she takes her binkie and shoves it in his mouth like “stop talking” and you and jj are like embarrassed

jj waking up to sprout poking him and he’s like “what baby?” and she whispers “i see my unca pope now” and jj looks at the time and it’s like 4 am

john b and sarah taking sprout and they pull her out of the car and she’s pissed at john b, and she had her binkie in her mouth and she bolts to see the heywards and john b is like “hey diaper butt watch the attitude”

jj telling the heywards about sprouts teething and he picks sprout up and is like “show them your teeth” and she’s like 😬 but with two teeth poking out and pink gums

baby sprouty in her sling on jj’s chest and she’s looking around and as soon as she spots pope she gummy grins so huge

baby brother and sprout laying in your room and you walk out to change snd find them passed out together

baby brother in his swing and sprouts looking at him, and jj is like “aw perfect instagram moment” and he’s taking a video of them and he’s like “sprout do you like your baby brother?” and she’s like “no coconut head cries too much”

Maybank Jr def sells edibles at school and he has to give Sprout first dibs or she’ll snitch him out

Baby Sprouty going out to The Wreck for the first time and Kies parents are like “Want a few minutes without the baby?” and they just want baby snuggles and she’s in her little car seat just sleeping

JJ having to take a plane for work conference and Sprout is shattered and she’s like “talk to dada peez” and you have to break her heart and say he can’t talk right now

sprout saying something like “gosh the kids on the cut have it easier” and it’s definitely easier if the times jj sits her down and has a starbucks talking to cause it definitely isn’t easy as it seems

jj is always kissing sproutys chubby cheeks from the moment she came out of the womb and was placed on your chest

the first morning with sprouty 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺☹️☹️☹️ 

HEARING SPROUTS HEARTBEAT FOR THE FIRST TIME. and the nurse is like “yup strong and healthy”

JJ holding sprout in his lap and she’s less than a month old, and he’s burping her while holding her cheeks and everyone’s in awe of her, Kie’s even videoing Sprout who’s milk drunk. And she spits up all over JJs leg

Sprouty having her little friend over and you can hear them whispering and you make out “hims cry all night. hims head big too” and her friends like “my sissy’s sleeps and can’t play wif her”

Mrs Heyward hogging up Sprout when she pops in the visit and Sprout is just vibing with her Nana while you and JJ are catching up on sleep

jj definitely mirrors the kids face when they’re crying and sprouts baby head thinks he’s actually crying so she fusses even more

baby sprout trying to crawl but she jusy looks like she’s wiggling in place and jj is like “aw my little worm”

Sprout and JJ having a boat day and Sprout climbs in JJs lap and she’s like “love yous more dan my fishies at papas” and JJs heart is a PUDDLE BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS SPROUTY LOVES HER FISHES AT PAPAS POND

JJ taking you out on one last vacation before your bubs born 🥺

when you’re pregnant and close to sproutys due date, you just clean from the time jj leaves for work to when he gets back and he’s like 🚨 no more cleaning ma’am you’ve reorganized my socks fives times already

Sprout and John B hanging out while Sarah’s out and he’s like “Want a cheeto?” and she stares at him and he’s like “Right sorry I forgot you don’t have teeth or how you only drink your moms boob milk”

When Sprout comes home from Urgent Care, you have her sleep in your bed because she still has a low fever and at first she’s clinging to you, and throughout the night she makes her way to JJ and they’re doing skin to skin cause she’s in her diaper and he’s shirtless

jj taking sprout to a daddy’s and i event at daycare and he noticed that a lot of the dads are like “sucks that my wife is having me babysit the kids on saturday so i’ll miss the game” and they’re more flabbergasted when they hear jj doesn’t use a 24/7 nanny like them

I feel like JJ already gives off intimidating and stern personality and when he has kids he feels like he has to lower it a few notches but sometimes he looses his patience and it definitely gets everyone’s attention

sprouty in her sling and you’re like “JJ can you take her? My boobs probably look weird with her pressed up against them” and he’s like “actually they look fantastic”

everyone coming to watch sprouty girls first swim lesson and she waddles out and she just started walking while holding someone’s hand and everyone’s like “oh such a big girl sprout.” and she’s like “fishie” and john b is like “no you’re the fish this time”

when ur telling the heywards that ur pregnant, heywards like “10 years together and it took you that long to knock her up?”

Sprout being a little over a year old and John B is waving a sparkler in front of her and she grabs at it, and everyone scolds John B

JJ DRESSING SPROUTY GIRL UP IN FOURTH OF JULY FITS THROUGHOUT THE DAY AND EVEN HER BINKIE MATCHES HER FITS

Waking JJ at ass crack of dawn and you’re like “Honey can you ask Heyward to make his french toast cause baby girls wanting them”

sprouty seeing jj on facetime and she’s like “oh hi dada” and he’s like “are you being good for your mom” and she’s like “no dada”

sprout going to heywards in a bad mood, and heyward is like “hugs for papa?” ans she’s like “no fank you papa. is in a bad mood right now”

Teen Sprout calling you guys at an ungodly hour and she’s like “I’m drunk and my ride ditched me. Please pick me up”

your baby shower for baby boy happening and sproutys like “awww for me???” and you’re like “no baby for your brother” and she’s so upset

Baby Boy and Sprout going to the Heywards for the night and JJ is like “Maybank #3?”

baby sprout sleeping in sarah’s arms and it’s after she’s first born and john b is like “nine months of growing a kid for her to sleep?” and he pokes her cheek “loser”

JJ getting giant headphones for Baby so she can watch the fireworks with you guys and he’s like “And look Dada even got Papa a pair cause we don’t his old man ears to get any worse”

:ooo did you ever hc how you tell jj you’re pregnant with sprout??

sprouty in the buggy and she’s babbling and jj is like “yeah baby?” and she does the babbling scream and he’s like “ma’am you’re in the store”

it being the first time you guys take sprout out, and you fed her and jjs burping her but she keeps dozing off cause it’s past her bedtime and he’s like “she’s definitely going to give us hell tonight for making her stay up”

baby sprouty looking at the fairy lights in the cameron backyard and john b is like “jesus j, she makes it seem like you never take her out of that castle she calls home” and sarah’s like “john b she’s three months old let the girl live”

jj buying little matching sunglasses for sprout and you look at the receipt and you’re like “$90 for glasses that she won’t even need?”

Sprout sitting up on your bed and JJ walks in and he’s like “Hi Mamas!” and she babbles back

Realizing the reason Sprouty sneezes on JJ or sometimes John B and Rafe is because their colognes are too strong for her baby nose

baby sprout in her bath tub in your bathroom and jj is like “how come babies get all the cool shit”

sprouts first fourth of july.

JJ getting fake chicken nuggets as his way of going vegan or something and he gives it to Sprout and she just devors them all.

baby sprouts first little stroller around the neighborhood 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Sprout mirroring everyone’s facial expressions

wait so i read concepts about how miss lana took jj in a lot, and how he’s so protective over her. and i was like him having miss lana watch sprouty as her babysitter cause he knows how motherly she’s is

JJ getting Sprout from the babysitter and she’s so tiny like one of the first times he picks her up, and he’s like “oh hi bubby did you have a nice time”

Sprout being into pictures for some reason, but it’s when she’s starting to recognize people. So every time she leaves her nursery you or jj stop by your wedding pictures in the hallway and ask “Where is…” for the next five minutes

Sprout waking up JJ like “My papas birfday dada?”

sprouts project in class is about love and you see her put “unca pope loves me the most” in her teachers writing cause they just wrote down what she says

Sarah and John B having a baby son and Sproutys meeting him, and she’s like “Awww hims wook wike my Unca Pope”

As soon as Baby Boy is out of your room and sleeping in his nursery, you can bet all your money sprout is back in between you and jj

sprout def snitches john b out when he gets on her nerves

sprout in her floaty and she’s having a blast and john b swims by her and she grips his hair and it’s the strong baby grip no one can seem to undo and she’s laughing at everyone telling her to stop

JJ making breakfast and he’s like “decaf for the mama, organic mango orange juice for the little mama, and boobs on the rocks for the little man in the sling”

maybank jr seeing you standing by the entry way of the house when jj picks him up from jail, and he’s so scared. and you’re like “had sprout stay with a friend tonight, you young man in your room until your father and i discuss what we’re gonna say to you”

Sprouts playroom is HUGE especially for a two foot baby. And somehow she manages to only play with the box her dad left while he spent all Saturday putting together her play kitchen

The one time JJ wakes up when Sprouts screaming she wants you

sprout potty training and she’s so excited to be a “big girl”

okay. i feel like jj would def have the first baby in the group or just never have kids

You guys taking a family trip to Nashville for the week and Sprout is THRIVING, baby is just vibing to the live music performances while y’all are eating at restaurants

heyward having sprout over and she facetimes you and you hear her grumble “pick me up unca b is here. eatin my mac in cheese”

JJ making barbecued ribs and Sprouts just devouring them and she’s just a mess and when JJ takes her out of her high chair he’s like “Aw my little piggy loved Dada’s cooking?” and Kie is like “You’re calling her a pig when you fed her pig?”

you guys leaving sprouty with john b and when you come to pick her up she’s strapped on his chest and he’s like “we’re bonding”

SPROUT MODELING WOULD BE AMAZINGGGG, like it’s sarah who talks you into it, and she’s only a few months old and it’s for a boutique in town and she’s so smiley and cooing the whole time

sprout not falling asleep when you guys are out of the house, and jj is like “you can sleep bubba” as he’s rubbing her back and she’s so drowsy she keeps dropping her pacifier

Picking Sprout up from daycare and you guys are like “How was your first day baby?” and she’s like “See my Unca Pope now?”

Baby Brother and you coming to Sprouts class for a class party and she’s like “Dis is my brudder hims kinda mean”

jj going the mainland for work and he comes back with hella shopping bags and it’s custom made designer for sprout because everything’s cuter in baby form

usually baby brother is the one who teases sprout and he’s in timeout but one time he does something and she smacks him back, and you have to separate them in timeout and as jj is talking to sprout you hear “i don’t like him right now dada. hims like unca jombee.”

John B seeing Sprout before his wedding, and he’s like “Listen stinky, today is about me and Aunt Sarah, so don’t do something that everyone awes over, got it?” and Sprout totally steals the show when she’s walking down the isle

jj getting him and sprout matching outfits and she’s running around the property in a hat that’s a little too big for her and she runs straight into ward

baby boy doing something that resulted in a timeout and he’s screeching so loud, and he’s calling for you to get him out and jj gets like a flashback of his childhood

sproutys first storm and she’s just looking out your bedroom window and jj sneezes or something and she jumps and he’s like “wtf”

Baby sleeping in the bassinet when she’s just born and JJ is like “She totally sleeps like me” and you’re like “You snore louder than the storm”

catching sprout crawling out of her crib and jjs like “what are you doing missy?” and she’s like “unca pope”

john b and jj going to sproutys field trip to the police station cause your morning sickness with baby boy is terrible and a mom walks up and is like “you guys make such a lovely couple!”

jj walking in on you talking to your bump, and you’re like “i enjoy cooking a lot, my mom taught me all of my best recipes” and he’s like 🥺

The daycare having an open house for Sprouts class, and you see one of her papers the question is “a few of my favorite things” and her answers are “uncle pope, nana and papa, my daddy and mommy, and strawberries. and seeing the fishies at my papas house”

you and jj doing something special for sprout before baby brothers born

jj looking after baby sprout and he needs to pee but everytime he puts her down she squawks and screams really loud so he’s just shuffling around the house holding her and rocking her hoping you’ll be home soon

Sprout definitely humbles the whole family, and keeps everyone in their place

[likeshipsonthesea]

Sean the LAX Bro

four score and many a year ago, i wrote this. a fun, one-off ficlet about the start of dex’s tryst with a lax bro. since then, it has continued to be a hc of mine that dex is one of two people on the team, prior to whiskey, who has in fact fucked a lax bro (the other is holster, that is Another Story).

until now, that has been the whole story. BUT NOW i will be posting the beginning of the Canonical Sean the LAX Bro fic that i started a long time ago and never got the inspiration to finish. it is not as cracky/playful as the original, but every time i’ve read it over i’ve really liked it and as a part of the WIPitgood thing going around the fandom, i’ve decided to post what i have

some warnings for homophobia and age difference in a relationship (my oc Luke is back y’all) but otherwise it’s p tame

i hope y’all like it :)

         It happens because of a frat party, surprisingly not a Haus one. Instead, it’s a party at one of the nerdier frats, a street over from the road where the Haus sits. It’s not a terrible party—it’s got pretty good music, efficient booze, enough people attending to shake the floors—but, after a kegster, a regular old party just won’t hold up anymore.

         Dex is not having a good time. Aside from the fact that he misses the bone-deep thrum of a kegster like a physical ache, the only person he knows at the party is some guy from his comp-sci class, John or Jake or whatever, and he left Dex alone within ten minutes of arriving. Now Dex is stuck wandering aimlessly through the house looking for something to do. He finds an uptight game of pong in one room (too many physics majors calculating trajectories instead of just going off skill) and, in the next, he finds either a body shot competition or an orgy, so he hurries to get through there real quick before he gets sucked in.

         The door he finds lets out into a quieter but still full room of—surprise— even more people he doesn’t know. He takes a long sip of his drink, which doesn’t take the edge off like tub juice but does the job well enough. When he pulls his cup from his mouth, it reveals a pretty boy with a big smile standing right in front of him.

         “Hi,” the pretty boy says. God, he’s gorgeous. Big blue eyes that twinkle with his pristine white smile, perfectly clear skin and angular features, soft in just the right places. Dex feels his fingers tighten around his cup. He vaguely wonders if his reaction is due to his generally little experience talking to pretty boys with the potential of actually doing something about it, or if Dex would be this Shook no matter what. Pretty Boy says, “I’m Sean.”

         “Dex,” he responds, a second too late, his voice rough. Sean’s grin impossibly widens.

         “You look about as lost as I did at my first frat party,” Sean says, leaning in closer, as if he’s sharing a secret only Dex gets to know. Breathe, Dex, breathe.

         “S’not my first, actually,” Dex says, rubbing at the back of his head. Did Sean’s eyes track the movement? Dex must be hallucinating. “The ones I’m used to just usually have more people I know.”

         Sean hums, and Dex can hear it over the music only because of their proximity. “Well,” he says, a thoughtful look on his face and a mischievous twinkle in his eye. “You know me now, right?” He knocks his cup lightly against Dex’s, his smile wide and enticing, and Dex finds himself listing forwards as if he’s being physically pulled.

         Within minutes, Sean has Dex snorting unattractively into his cup, laughing so hard his chest aches. Dex has no idea why Sean is still talking to him, as Dex is making an absolute ass of himself, staring blankly into Sean’s face like a middle-schooler with a crush. Still, Sean talks and jokes and—flirts? Dex doesn’t exactly have experience with flirting with men, but he’s pretty sure all of this—the soft teasing, Sean finding a reason to reach out and touch Dex’s hand, arm, chest, Sean’s eyes filled with heat—it has to mean something, right?

         They talk for an hour or so, slowly filtering into other areas of their lives. Dex talks about how he’s adjusting to being away from home for the first time and Sean shares tips he’s learned since being here for a year. They talk about their families, a little, Dex mentions his asshole of a brother and how he misses him anyway, and Sean shares a story about when his sister shaved off one of his eyebrows in his sleep. Dex finds himself sharing fears about college that he hasn’t even told the team or his family back home. Sean is funny and kind and easy to talk to—not to mention he’s fucking hot.

         Sean finishes his drink and knocks his empty cup against Dex’s matching one. His has been empty for the past twenty minutes but he hadn’t wanted to stop talking to Sean. He leans in closer and, his voice soft, he asks, “Would you like to get out of here?”

         Dex may have little experience with the flirting thing, but this, at least, is familiar territory. He grins. “Definitely.”

         It’s just starting to get cold out, so they make the walk back to Sean’s place pressed together, shoulder to shoulder. Dex is tipsy but not drunk, just a pleasant buzz under his skin, anticipation building in his chest. They cut through the backyard towards a frat house, as Sean apparently lives in one. They go in through the backdoor and climb the stairs, trying to be quiet so they don’t wake up Sean’s housemates. Finally they reach his bedroom and Dex follows him inside only to be pushed up against the inside of the closed door.

         “You okay with this?” Sean asks, already a little breathless, and in the semi-darkness of the room, the only thing Dex can see is the moonlight reflecting off of Sean’s wide smile. He presses his hands into Sean’s tense abdominals and there’s little to no give.

         “More than okay,” Dex says, and leans down to finally get a taste of that wide, enticing smile. It hasn’t been a ridiculously long time but kissing Sean reminds Dex of how fucking good kissing can be, even when it’s like this, a bit tipsy and messy but hot. Dex feels like he’s being consumed and he’s completely fine with it, wants it, wants to disappear under Sean’s lips and teeth and hands.

         Dex throws his head back to try and suck in a breath, and Sean takes this as invitation to drift lower and suck pretty bruises into Dex’s skin. “Fuck,” Dex exhales, shaky, and feels Sean’s mouth spread into a grin against his neck. “Don’t get cocky,” Dex says, digging his nails into Sean’s shoulder, realizing then that he wants Sean’s shirt off more than anything else.

         “Thought that was the point?” Sean says into Dex’s collarbone, stifling his giggles, and Dex groans because how the fuck. How can Sean be hot and seductive and delicious, while also being ridiculously endearing? It isn’t fair.

         “Oh God, shut up.” Dex pushes his hands up under the edge of Sean’s t-shirt, rucking it up until Sean gets the message and pulls back to tug it over his head and throw it somewhere behind him. Dex sighs at the sight he makes, skin gone soft in the moonlight, muscles tight and defined, slightly crooked grin on his face.

         Oh yes, Dex thinks, stepping forwards to push Sean back towards the bed, tonight is going to be good.

 *~*~*

           Dex wakes up with the sun in his face, a heavy arm around his waist, and a satisfied warmth running throughout his whole body. He stretches, sitting up, and Sean grumbles, pushing his face into Dex’s hip. Dex smiles faintly, brushing his fingers through Sean’s hair as he reaches for his phone on the bedside table. It tells him that he has practice within the hour, so he pulls himself from Sean’s bed and clinging limbs to try and collect his clothes.

        He finds his briefs hanging from Sean’s desk lamp and puts them on, hopping around to find his t-shirt on the ground. He scratches at his stomach, where cum has dried to his skin and left it hard and flaky. He grimaces, pulling his shirt on over it. He’ll definitely have to go home and take a shower before practice and or he’ll never make it through the chirping. Then he looks up, in search of his pants, and sees himself in the mirror, neck covered in marks that drift down under his collar and most definitely spread even further. Guess the chirping is a sure thing no matter what, then.

         “Mm, where’re you goin’?” Sean says, muffled, into his pillow, and Dex huffs.

         “Probably to be teased to death by my teammates for all the marks you left on me, dude.” Dex spots his pants on Sean’s bookshelf and grabs them, bending over to pull them on. They apparently make his ass look great, or at least Bitty says so. He’s right, if the way Sean’s eyeing him as he pulls them on fully is any indication.

         “Teammates?” Sean asks, dragging his eyes back up to Dex’s face, where he’s grinning knowingly. Despite his blush, Sean asks, “What d’you play?”

         “I’m on the hockey team,” Dex says, searching idly for his socks and shoes. When he looks back at Sean in the bed, he’s lost all the mugginess of sleep and is staring, wide-eyed and horrified, back at Dex. “What? What’s wrong?”

         “You’re on the hockey team?” he asks, voice much higher than before.

         Dex nods slowly. Hadn’t that come up last night? Maybe not. “Yeah. Why?” Sean groans and buries his face in the pillow in front of him. Dex shifts in his spot. “Dude, c’mon. Why’s that a big deal?” Sean says something into the pillow that just sounds like a series of anxious grunts to Dex. “What’s that?”

         Sean sighs and turns his head, staring up at Dex with something half-sad, half-terrified. “I’m on the lacrosse team.”

         Dex freezes in place. He can feel as his face mirrors Sean’s worried expression. Fuck. “I’m in the LAX frat right now?” Sean nods gravely. “Fuck.”

         “Yeah.”

         Dex takes a seat at Sean’s desk chair and puts his face in his hands. “Fuck. Fuck. I fucked a LAX bro. Shitty’s gonna kill me.”

         “Chad R. is going to kill me. So is Chad S.”

         “You have two guys on your team named Chad?” Dex looks up to give Sean an incredulous expression.

         Sean says, “Three, actually.”

         Dex groans. “What have I done?” He shakes his head. He thinks back to last night, talking with Sean, opening up, laughing. God. It had been good, okay, the talking and the banter and the everything. Dex liked Sean. Still does, if he’s honest, but he’s a LAX bro. Even if Dex didn’t agree that they were all kind of assholes—which he does, the LAX team is a petri dish of toxic masculinity and misogyny and they’re also just huge dicks—trying to date a LAX bro would never work.

         He looks up from the floor and stares back at Sean. He can feel the weight of all the dead possibilities between them, heavy and suffocating. Dex swallows roughly and takes a deep breath. “Okay,” he says, and he shouldn’t be this sad, they haven’t even known each other for a day. But they could’ve been—no, it doesn’t matter. Not anymore. “Okay,” Dex repeats, “this’ll be fine. No one has to know. I won’t tell anyone, you won’t tell anyone. I’ll leave now and it’ll be fine.”

         “Yeah,” Sean says, and his lips quirk up at the corners, the horror in his expression draining, leaving behind a soft melancholy that Dex wants to kiss away. He says, “It’s been fun, Dex.”

         Dex grabs his socks and shoes and offers something like a smile back. “It could’ve been,” he says, and turns towards the door.

         Suddenly, there’s a knock. “Sean, brah, get the fuck up! We’ve got practice!” Dex jumps, turning to share a panicked look with Sean, and then they both simultaneously look at the window.

         This is how Dex finds himself shimmying down the drain pipe on the side of the LAX frat without his shoes on. He makes it to the bottom and hops down, the cold dew of the grass freezing his toes. Sean sticks his head out of the window and grins down at him. “I’ll see you around.”

         “Probably not,” Dex calls back up at him, and then runs to the other side of the street, pulling on his shoes. He makes it back to his dorm and showers, changes, and then leaves for practice. The whole while he tells himself that this is fine, it was a one-off, good time and that’s it.

         It should be it. It’s not.

 *~*~*

           Team breakfasts are loud. Dex doesn’t really know what to do with them, sometimes, so he tries to keep to himself at the end of the table. The hickies on his neck still haven’t disappeared, though they’re now nearly gone. Still, whenever any of the guys see them, they make a face like they’re proud, or want details or something, and Dex doesn’t know how to say it was a guy let alone it was a lax bro so he ducks them whenever he can.

         Bitty takes a seat on Dex’s left, talking a mile a minute about something back home that his mother told him about, and Dex listens to his voice, if not the words. Something about Bitty’s lilted and slow tone is comforting to Dex, and he lets that cover him like a blanket as he tries not to fall asleep into his cereal.

         Vaguely, Dex hears someone call, “Shut up, already!” from one table over and he doesn’t think much of it until Holster and Ransom are standing from their seats and yelling back.

         “What’d you say to him?” Holster asks, his usual playful expression gone with a second. For a 6’4 dude, Holster almost never looks intimidating, but right now Dex wouldn’t even get near him.

         “He won’t shut up and it’s fucking early, man,” the same guy says, and Dex turns to see he’s sitting at the LAX table. Sean isn’t there, which Dex can’t help but be grateful for.

         “Then fucking plug your ears and leave us the fuck alone,” Ransom yells back, and the surrounding tables do not seem pleased with all the commotion and Dex would be embarrassed but these dicks are harassing Bitty. Bitty. The embodiment of everything good in the world.

         “Just tell your girlfriend to keep her mouth closed,” the guy says, smirking all shittily, and Dex knows that kind of grin well, knows the kind of taunts that come from between those lips, and his blood boils before he can help himself and he’s going to hit something, he knows it—

         “The fact that you use gender as an insult just reinforces the lack of confidence in your own masculinity,” Shitty says, using his matter-of-fact asshole voice that Lardo says is the closest he can sound to his father. He only uses it when he wants to piss people off.

         “What’d you say to me?”

         “He said you’re just a part of a broken machine aimed to eviscerate the emotional capacity of masculine people,” Ransom says, catching Shitty’s condescending tone.

         Holster continues in the same vein, “Yeah, you’re just part of the problem, man. Don’t you get tired having to assert your dominance over every fucking situation? Just take a seat, dude, let your emotions out.”

         The LAX bro mutters something that sounds like, “Fucking hockey team,” and turns back around to his table. Bitty is now completely pink and hiding his face in his breakfast, but his lips are upturned in the corners.

         “Y’all didn’t have to do that,” he says, quiet, and Holster ruffles his hair softly, softer than he usually is.

         “Of course we did, Bits,” Ransom says with a wide, handsome grin.

         “Got your back,” Shitty says, resolute, and they all go back to their breakfasts.

         After a minute, Dex prompts, “So what did Mrs. Henderson do about her missing begonias?” and Bitty starts talking again, not even a degree softer than he’d been before.

         Walking home from the dining hall, Dex tries not to make comparisons to his old team, how they’d wait until he turned his back before they called him any number of slurs that cut at his skin, how that had been the most respect they could’ve held for him. There are an endless number of comparisons to make—the difference between chirping and insulting, how having your back on and off ice is more than just a means to a win, the way Dex smiles more than he ever thought he could—and Dex could tire himself with trying to evaluate them all, but still.

        It’s nice to have the difference.

 *~*~*

           The next time it happens, Dex really can’t be blamed.

         Samwell is very big on making sure there are an infinite number of spaces for someone to acquaint themselves with. Only a month into the school year, Dex is a part of a program for first-generation college attendees, athletic scholarship awardees, financial aid awardees, STEM oriented students, and student athletes. And those are only the ones sponsored specifically by the college. Dex is in a handful of other clubs and organizations meant to aid his transition to college.

         Mostly, Dex hangs out with the team, some friends he made from class, and people from the tech club he’s in. People from the other organizations are mostly acquaintances. If he sees them on campus or in class, he’ll give them a nod, but they aren’t planning any kegsters together or anything. Still, Dex attends the soirees they invite him to, standing scratchy and uncomfortable in a suit that doesn’t fit quite right—“You should get something tailored,” Nurse would say, infuriatingly—and sips at his sparkling cider and counts down the seconds until he can leave.

         He’s having a particularly boring conversation with a trustee or an alumni or a donor or whatever when Dex sees Sean from across the room. It’s been a few weeks since Dex climbed out his bedroom window and he hasn’t thought about him constantly or anything, he’s not obsessed, but. Well, sometimes he’ll pass the LAX frat on the way to the Haus or he’ll see a couple of guys tossing a ball around on the Quad or he’ll be trying to fall asleep to no avail, and he’ll think of Sean, of his laughter and his hands, and he’ll miss him, just a little. A tiny, manageable amount.

         Now, now Sean is talking to his own donor/trustee/alumni, throwing his head back slightly in a beautiful laugh, and Dex wants way more than a manageable amount. He excuses himself from the conversation and heads for the bathroom to cool down and get ahold of himself. He grabs a paper towel and soaks it in some cool water, dabbing lightly at his face to try and stave off his blush. He huffs as it doesn’t go down at all and throws away the towel. He looks at his reflection, tugs his collar straight, stares himself down.

         “You will be normal,” he says, firmly, just as a man leaves a stall. Dex’s flush gets deeper as the man gives him a short look before washing his hands and leaving. Great. The being normal thing is going just gr—

         “Dex?” Dex looks up and there’s Sean, standing half in the doorway of the bathroom, staring at Dex’s reflection with an open-mouthed, soft expression that Dex wants to touch.

         “Sean.” Dex swallows. “Hey.”

         After a few loaded moments, Dex realizes that he hasn’t turned around yet, so he steels himself and does it. Sean cleans up nice. Like, really nice. His suit looks tailored, if the way it fits him is any indication, and he might not have a hockey ass but damn is it a good one. His tie is a soft blue that complements his eyes. There’s one stray curl at his collar that Dex wants to smooth out but he doesn’t. They just stand there staring at one another until Dex can’t handle it anymore and coughs.

         “I’d better—”

         “Yeah, I don’t want to—”

         “—get back to the—”

         “—keep you.”

         “—party.”

         They seem to have only managed to gotten closer, as Dex tried to leave and Sean tried to move towards a stall. Now they’re so close that Dex can see a spot where Sean missed when he was shaving and all Dex wants to do is brush his thumb against it. “Fuck,” he hears himself say, and in the next second Sean is kissing him.

         (See, Dex really can’t be blamed.)

         “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Dex manages to get them behind a stall door before he lets himself melt into it. It still is a school sponsored function and he really doesn’t want an alumni/donor/trustee walking in to find Dex shoving his hands up the back of another student’s button down.

         “God, you’re fucking huge,” Sean mumbles against Dex’s mouth, his hands curling around Dex’s shoulders. Dex hums and surges even closer, wrapping his arms around the small of Sean’s back, pulling him tight against Dex’s body. “Couldn’t stop thinking about your arms,” Sean says, pushing his hands inside Dex’s jacket to scratch at his chest through his shirt. “Bet you could hold me up against the wall and just—unngh.”

         Sean trails off as Dex finds a spot on the hinge of his jaw to focus his attention on. He really does have great skin—fucking LAX bros—and Dex has no reservations about staying there and working on making a deep pink-purple bruise like it’s his job, but he hears the door to the bathroom open and realizes that two pairs of feet in a stall are very suspicious. Looks like Sean’s going to have his fantasy come true.

         “Jump,” Dex mutters into Sean’s cheek, and then picks him up, pinning him against the wall, in one fluid movement. It knocks the breath out of Sean, but apparently in a good way, because he immediately rolls his hips against Dex’s.

         “God,” Sean says on a breath, and Dex kisses him to keep him quiet. He pulls back after a second or two to muffle his hiss into Sean’s shoulder as Sean reaches down and cups Dex through his slacks.

         “There’s someone in here,” he whispers, furious, into Sean’s ear.

         Sean simply grins. “You’d better be quiet, then.”

         About ten or so minutes later, they leave the stall, both thoroughly flustered. Dex’s flush is a complete lost cause and Sean can’t seem to get the stupid, smug grin off his face, so it’s very obvious what he’s just been doing. God, they’re hopeless.

         “Okay, so, that happened.”

         “Yeah it did—”

         “Sean.”

         Sean’s smug grin softens into something sheepish, kind. “Yeah. Sorry. I’ve just, kinda, been thinking about you.”

         God, that’s gay. Why does Dex like it so much? “I—I guess I have too.” He shakes his head. “But this would never work. We couldn’t tell our teammates, we couldn’t be seen together, I—I…”

         “Hey, hey, it’s alright.” Sean steps forwards and puts his hand on Dex’s hip, comforting. “I don’t want to force you into anything. We don’t have to do this again, we can control ourselves.” He smirks a little. “I hope, at least.”

         Dex looks at him for a few moments, thinking about the possibility of it all. He likes Sean, for his looks, sure, but more than that, he’s a nice person, kind and funny and interesting. Dex could see himself dating Sean, like actual, out-in-public, playing-footsie-under-the-table dates. He never thought he could have that with a guy. He wants it so much it aches.

         But the idea of sneaking around, like he had to back home, not telling any of the guys, his friends…. Dex doesn’t want that.

         “We can,” Dex says, and he must be imagining the fall in Sean’s expression. “We have to.”

         Sean smiles, but it’s heavy. “Yeah,” he says, leans up to press a kiss to the corner of Dex’s mouth. He leaves the bathroom with a lingering look and Dex is left alone, wanting.

 *~*~*

           Being alone in the halls of an unknown rink is creepy. Dex is half-exhausted and half-keyed up from their win tonight, and he finished showering and redressing faster than most of the guys in his pseudo-state, leaving him to walk the path back to the parking lot alone. It’s quiet, so the only thing he can hear are his footsteps echoing around the halls, and he’s got nothing to focus on except his thoughts, which are worrying enough that he wants to actually run from them. But that would just be weird so he walks, contained, tense, and hopes more than anything that no one—especially one no one— will find him.

         His prayers must fall on deaf ears.

         “Dex!” Jogging casually down the hall comes Luke Rossi. He’s got on the same grin he always wore back in high school, wearing a tight, soft-looking t-shirt that reads Cornell across the chest. Dex swallows down whatever feeling has lodged itself in his throat. “Hey,” Luke says, slowing to a stop in front of Dex. His brown eyes look a shade softer in the fluorescent lights, deceiving. “Long time no see.”

         Long time is a bit of a stretch. They saw each other over the summer. It was similar to every time they’ve seen each other over the summer for the past four years. Dark car, quiet beach, hands over mouths to stifle whatever sounds came out. At once, it feels both like it’s a million years away and as if Dex is still living that same moment. Luke has that effect on him.

         “Yeah,” Dex says anyway. He shifts his weight, nervous. “How have you been?”

         Luke laughs, bright, cheerful. Dex wonders if it always looked that fake or if he’s learned Luke too well by now. “Oh, you know. Hockey, school, the works. You actually know now! Finally in real school.” He claps Dex on the arm. “Samwell, whoa. I always knew you’d go somewhere smart.”

         Despite himself, the praise warms Dex. “Yeah, it’s been nice.”

         “I bet the folks back home lost their shit,” Luke says, with another laugh, this one shorter, more pointed. He knows better than most the rumors that clung to Dex’s back all through school, and going off to the Gay Ivy did nothing to alleviate them.

         “Yeah,” Dex says, and looks down.

         “But hey, you played a good game tonight. An assist and everything. We should go out and celebrate, I know this great place—”

         “Dex?” Dex looks up and over to see Ransom and Holster coming down the hall, both of them frowning. Dex shrinks down without thinking. “Is everything okay?”

         “Who’s this?” Ransom asks, coming up on Dex’s right. Holster takes his left. Dex feels even smaller between them.

         “This is Luke,” Dex says, half-gesturing towards him. “He was my old captain back home.” Luke grins, charming, at the introduction. He sticks his hand out.

         Holster hesitates. “I thought you were your team’s captain,” he says, frowning.

         “He was captain when I was a freshman.” Dex fidgets, pulling at the material of his sweatpants. “I took over when he left.”

         “Oh,” Holster says, nodding exaggeratedly. He takes Luke’s hand and Dex sighs out his relief. “So you just want to catch up?” Holster directs to Luke.

         Luke grins wider, more charming, more plastic. “Yeah, man. Just thought I’d take him out with some of the guys, talk the game, stuff back home.” He shakes Ransom’s hand next, who returns his grin with a flat stare. Luke falters and looks back to Holster. “You know how it is, old teammates, I’m sure.”

         “Oh, I know—”

         Dex cuts Holster off. “I’ll see you guys later, okay?” He takes a step forwards and turns so he’s facing Ransom and Holster and standing next to Luke. They both shoot him downturned-lip-furrowed-brow worried expressions. “Tell Chowder I’ll be back at the room a bit late.”

         “You sure?” Ransom frowns, staring unflinchingly at Dex.

         Dex—he doesn’t know what to do with this. The protectiveness. The care. It makes him fidgety, nervous, almost itchy. He doesn’t know if he likes it or not yet, and though he doesn’t really know how to describe the way he feels about Luke either, that pit in his stomach is at least familiar.

         “Yeah,” Dex says, and Luke throws a casual arm over his shoulders. It’s uncomfortably heavy, but it’s a weight Dex knows how to deal with.

         “I’ll have him back by midnight, boys,” Luke says, joking, though the looks on Ransom and Holster’s faces seem to imply they would appreciate just that. Luke nods. “Alright then.” He turns and starts walking them down the hallway towards the exit Dex had been looking for earlier. “Your teammates are a bit strange, Dex,” Luke says with a laugh, as they make their way out.

         “They’re just big on taking care of each other, at Samwell,” Dex says, and identifies the curl in his chest as guilt for not defending them.

         Luke laughs. Dex can see the exit clearly from where they are now. “Of course the sissy school is big on caring shit.” Luke’s arm tightens around his shoulders. “You must hate it there.”

         They’ve reached the exit to the stadium. It’s too late to turn back, so Dex just says nothing and follows. Luke always liked it best that way, anyway.

 *~*~*

           Within half an hour, they’ve reached a secluded field. Luke turns off the car. He gets out and flattens the backseats so there’s one big opening in the back. Dex joins him, quiet, and begins taking off his shirt.

         They say nothing for the next twenty minutes. Luke keeps his fingers pressed tightly over Dex’s lips even though he’s long since trained himself to be silent. The soft sounds of skin against skin and choked-off breathing fill the humid air. It’s cold outside but it’s boiling inside the car. It was always like that, too, back in Maine, the car so hot it almost felt like he couldn’t breathe. At one point, Dex convinced himself it was probably the closest he’d ever been to Hell.

         They dress in silence. During, Dex usually thinks of nothing except guilty, horrible pleasure. After, there’s nothing else to focus on but the adjectives. He sits in the passenger seat in rumpled clothes that stick to his sweaty skin, quickly cooling into something uncomfortable.

         Dex thinks of Sean, ridiculously. Of walking back to his dorm with cum drying on his stomach and going through a school function with slightly dirtied underpants. Both times he was dirtier, physically, than he is now, and still right now he’s the most uncomfortable.

         Sean didn’t make him uncomfortable. Sean made him giddy, made him smile, made him happy. Dex forgot, somehow, the desperation of being with Luke, the guilt and the fear. Now Dex remembers the way he used to pray, afterwards, ask God forgiveness for his sins, his inability to stop making them. His tongue tastes like communion wine gone sour and his body feels stiff with disgrace. Even now, all he can think of is how wrong he is.

         Twice he was with Sean and both times Dex had forgotten to repent.

         It wasn’t guilty with Sean. It wasn’t dirty or something to hide. Even when they had to be quiet, it was fun. There was laughter in his fingertips, a smile tucked under his tongue for Dex to find, to enjoy. Enjoy.

         Dex had never found joy in having sex with a man before.

         The weight of the aftermath with Luke lifts, then. Because it doesn’t have to be like this. Dex isn’t bad when he’s with a boy, he’s just bad when he’s with Luke. Maybe that’s unfair. Maybe he just tied all his childhood fears up in Luke and he can’t separate them now. Either way, Luke isn’t good for him, not anymore. Maybe he never was.

         “See you,” Luke says, when they pull up in front of the motel the team is staying in for the night.

         “Goodbye, Luke,” Dex says, and means it. He gets out of the car.

         Dex can like a boy. He can like a boy without his tongue curling itself into knots out of self-preservation. He can like a boy without looking over his shoulder for the godly reprimand he can’t help but anticipate coming. He can like a boy without hating himself for it.

         The lightness in his chest carries him up the walkway. He can like a boy. He can like a boy.

         The lightness fades, decently, when Dex remembers that he can like any boy but Sean. Then again, he thinks as Luke pulls away before Dex reaches the front door, he was never really destined for happiness anyway.

 *~*~*

           It’s too fucking cold to be lugging a laundry basket back from the Haus, but Dex’ll be damned before he coughs up cash for the dorm washers when there’s a perfectly shitty washer and dryer at the Haus. Poindexters are nothing if not stubborn to the point of physical injury. Which he’s dangerously close to accomplishing, at this very moment, as he attempts to get his dorm key out of his bag while squishing the laundry basket between his hip and the door.

         He gets the key out right before the basket slips and he triumphantly shoves it in the lock. Letting himself in, he drops the basket on his bed and turns around to shut the door only to see Sean standing in the open doorway.

         What.

         “Dex,” he says, breathless. “Hi.”

         “Uh, hi?” Dex is still kind of stuck at what. “What, uh, what are you—why are you here?”

         “Yeah, um.” Sean swallows. “About that.”

         “Sean?”

         “Okay, this is going to sound really creepy, but remember I’m cute, okay?”

         “What?”

         “Okay, so, uh. I saw you leaving the hockey frat with your laundry and I sort of, followed you and, fuck. I can’t stop thinking about you?” He winces at himself. “This is sounding so much creepier than it’s meant to. I just, I really like you, okay? I think we can get past the team thing. It’ll be kind of like Romeo and Juliet, right?”

         “They killed themselves at the end,” Dex points out.

         “Well, as long as you don’t take drugs from any priests and I don’t kill your cousin, I think we’ll be pretty okay.”

         “Sean,” Dex tries to say firmly, but he’s smiling.

         Sean half-smiles back. “I think we can do it. I really do.”

         “Sean…”

         “And remember how cute I am,” Sean adds quickly. “Also remember that I just ran up three flights of stairs because the elevator was full just for you.”

         “How did you even get in the building?”

         Sean grins. “I am very cute.” Dex gives him a flat look. Sean relents. “Okay, I pretended like I lived here and went in behind someone who opened the door.” He points at Dex. “But I am cute.”

         “I feel like you’re searching for validation here.”

         “And the polite thing to do would be to give it to me, wouldn’t it?” Dex looks at him, standing there a little short of breath with a small, crooked smile. Dex thinks about destiny and bad decisions and how it feels to like a boy.

         Dex takes half a step closer to Sean, and then two quick full steps until they’re kissing, soft, smiling. Fuck destiny. Dex is going to be happy if it kills him.

[harveywritings92]

Someone flirts/asks you out in front of them: Ezio,Connor,Jacob,Arno

Ezio Auditore [modern Au] : You were a temporary sub for the local high-school while the math teacher was on early maternity leave, due to getting  sick...And due to your young and pretty appearance, these over hormonal charged teens were smitten with you! Well the boys are anyway...

the girls on the other hand, were very passive aggressive towards you! in their young developing minds they saw every little praise or smile as you hitting on or attempting to steal their crushes. So, of course you'd find someone had vandalized your desk or left a message on your blackboard calling you a very colorful name, of course one of the boys would jump over their desk in a heartbeat to clean up the mess or tattle on whoever did it.

Needless to say You found the whole thing hilarious! You thought if the girls were upset now, they'll be royally destroyed once they find out who you're married to! that was until Travis transferred to your class He was tall, blond, and had blue eyes and was very good looking...Well at least to a teenage girl's perspective, To you? he was another pimply faced teen with a crush, He'd often offered to help with carry boxes, clean up after class, and was always volunteering to get something for you.

His flirting wasn't subtle either more then often you have to duck or walk around to avoid him touching you, since that was big no-no in the school [unless he was dying you can't touch him and vice versa] that and he started asking for your number and address to hang out, You shot him down everytime, even made sure to mention your husband and flashed your ring a few times, but the blond was persistent! then the rumor started that Travis was planning to ask you out after class was floating around... Maybe he'd get the hint if he saw you with Ezio?

3rd pov 

Y/n pretty much clung to her husband after explaining the situation to him, Ezio downplayed at first thinking she was just overreacting, "He's a kid Mi Bella, they get crushes all the time!" He said trying to calm her nerves, But seeing how shaken up his wife was, caused his protective instincts to go on high alert! right as her class was ending everyone who had heard what Travis was planning stuck around curious to see where it goes.

Y/n was on edge Ezio was late and Travis was eagerly waiting for the bell, which went off as she felt a bead of sweat fall of her chin, she watched the blond teen get up Y/n tried not to cringe as he approached her desk. "Hey, Miss L/n." purred leaning on her desk she wince hearing his voice crack a little.

"Hi Travis." Y/n said trying to back away from him trying not to gag he was wearing way too much axe. "I wondering if you wanted to go out, maybe see a movie or something." he muttered looking her up and down before the y/hc teacher could open her mouth a smooth Italian voice answered "Well it depends what are we going to watch?~" Travis jumped back in shock that it wasn't Y/n's cute voice answering him and saw Mr. Auditore standing in the doorway large bouquet in hand. 

"Wh-what?" Travis sputtered out confused as the Italian teacher walked over to Y/n's desk handing her the flowers kissed her on the cheek, then turned to the gobsmacked teen. "I said what are we..." he gestured the three of them. "You, me and my wife. what are we going watch? Hopefully nothing R Rated or keeps you up passed your bedtime, it's a school night after all." Ezio said in a matter of factly way, But it was obvious he was teasing the boy causing the other students to snicker, once they got over their shock, Travis's face turned red with embarrassment. 

When he heard Miss L/n was actually a Mrs. he pictured some plain nerdy looking dude... Not Ezio frickin' Auditore! the Italian history teacher and to quote the girls "The sex-bomb of [School-name] high!" His ego deflated immediately crush fucking over! he can't compete with that! Travis left the class with his tail between his legs... 

Connor Kenway [Cannon Time]: [This the albino Reader from my Connor Oneshot]

Otsi'tsa was looking trough some documents an apprentice had pocketed from a templar envoy, she used a candle to see in there was hidden message or code was written in invisible ink, when she heard footsteps coming up the steps to the library, she briefly glanced up to see the newest Novice to join the creed standing in the door watching her. 

The albino cocked brow at the young man curiously. "What can I do for you John?" she hummed as the man glanced around to make sure they were alone, He hadn't noticed Connor obscured by the book shelf. "Miss Y/n I have to confess something." He put his hand on her shoulder the native woman tensed, and slowly looked at the black haired novice like.

 *what the hell, why are you touching me?...

He didn't seem to notice her discomfort "What?" She said trying to shrug his hand off. "I liked you for a while now, And I'd like to perhaps court you..." the white haired woman gawked at him in disbelief before finding her voice. "...I..o-oh, I'm sorry." his hopeful expression dropped. "but... I'm already spoken for." Y/n explained confusing the novice farther he hadn't heard of or seen any signs of miss Y/n in courtship with another? "You..With who?" the green eyed man demanded.

A loud bang caused John to jolt, he looked behind him and saw Master Connor standing by the center table; with a stack of heavy books he'd slammed down on the table lips curled into a snarl. "That would be me..." Connor hiss as he scrutinized the novice who still hadn't taken his hand off his woman the green eyed man saw the way his mentor was eyeing his hand on the albino woman's shoulder, the larger man's eyes darkened with a very clear message. 

*Take it off or else I'll rip it off..* 

John withdrew his hand like Otsi'tsa was made of hot iron and apologized before scurrying away as soon he was sure John was gone Y/n was suddenly pulled into tight hug by  Ratonhnhaké:ton He started talking to her in Kanienʼkéha "You wouldn't leave me for a man like John, would you?" He croaked warily the Albino looked at him surprised. "No, never! I made a promise to you, And I intend to keep it."  Her fiancee smirked before suddenly latching his to her collarbone.

She squeaked feeling him nip and suck on a sensitive spot before pulling away from her looking satisfied. "That should tell unwanted guests to back off for a while." He hummed in english giving her a peck on the forehead before setting her down and leaving, Otsi'tsa's whole body had turned pink as she threw her hand over the mark Ratonhnhaké:ton left on her neck.            

Jacob Frye [Modern AU]: [Reader is Bi and the girl is an ex]

"Oh, fuck me sideways!" Y/n groaned in annoyance as Jacob pulled away from her small baby bump; ever since she told he was going to be a father Jacob makes sure to talk to and cuddle her belly every chance he gets, his hazel eyes scanned the park ​​​​​​to see what's got his wife riled up, and saw this fake tanned blond woman looking their way. "Friend of yours?" He asked unsure Blondie didn't seem the type Y/n would associate herself with, the y/hc woman snorted in disgust. "Hardly, that's Vanessa she and I dated for while..." She mumbled knowing Jacob doesn't like discussing exes.

"For how long a while?" the brown haired man pressed. "three years then she ghosted me, found out through a mutual that she had been seeing some rich bloke..."Y/n told him how the blond had gotten married that man who was like thirty years older than them, while just a week before she told Y/n marriage was stupid, the y/ec woman cussed as her ex seem to recognize her. "Turns out she never cared about me, I was just her string along if sugar daddy ever dumped her ass." Jacob looked pretty pissed that someone had the audacity to do such a thing to his wife, and gonna ask if she wanted to go home, but a nasally voice cut in. "Y/n, oh my god! I haven't you been returning my calls babe?" Vanessa rudely pushed herself between Jacob and the pregnant woman. 

"I tried your apartment and some old creeper opened the door." She whined as Y/n cringed bemused. "I move outta that flat six yea-" The blond put her figure over the y/nat woman's lips and shushed her. "That's nice honey, I'm talking now!" she started gave the y/ht the run that her husband croaked and left all his money to his gross kids, the blonds lips curled in disgusted as she mentioned her step children, how dare he?! such selfish asshole then turned to Y/n with her fake smile.

"But I know my little n/n will never do that me.~" she purred trying to kiss her the h/c leaned away from the skinny woman who was confused when she felt something on her stomach and saw Y/n's pregnant belly "Ew, what the fuck is that, Why are you so fat?!" Vanessa demanded in disgust as she shoved her away, luckily the y/nat caught herself before she fell off the bench and Y/n saw Jacob's lips do that little twitch when he's about to fuck shit up.

Before Vanessa could try something else she was suddenly tossed off the bench and she hit the ground with a yelped, then looked up to see a pissed off Jacob holding Y/n bridal style whiles glowering at the gold digging tramp, who was about to demand his name only for him to bark "Shut up!" the blond flinched at his tone as Y/n carefully rubbed her belly. "Now you listen here and you listen well you plastic tart, Y/n isn't your bloody meal-ticket anymore..." He growled enjoying the blonde squirm like a child who just got caught stealing cookies.

"She moved on married and happy..." His lips formed thin as people were watching. "And if you or anyone wants my wife, they'll have to go through me." he hissed before carrying Y/n out of the park and away from her toxic ex who just sat there gawking at the man's back, Jacob carried her all the way to their car he opened the backseat and climbed in with her still his arms and closed the doors and just held her...she felt his hand slip under her shirt and feel her belly. "Mine..." he sighed kissing her forehead. 

          Arno Dorian [Cannon time]: 

Arno was free running in the city being careful as he kept out of her sight if his wife knew he was following her, she'd have his head on a pike! It not like hasn't Y/n hasn't gone out alone before! She can handle herself, he's never had any problems with it before! It was just different now...this was the first time Y/n had gone out for a walk a month since giving birth to their daughter, said babe was currently napping whilst carefully wrapped save and snug in a sling against her mother's chest...

So, of course Arno was wary he just wanted to make sure his girls were okay! It was fifteen minutes in when Arno spotted him. A man following his wife, The assassin had see the man before! but Arno couldn't quite place where... He managed to get closer and realized it was one of his novices! what could they possibly want with Y/n? she was civilian not an enemy!

He followed for while before doing leap of faith into a hay pile neither Y/n or the novice had noticed the master assassin who was listening to conversation. "Uh, Bonjour madame!" the younger assassin greeted Y/n who jumped from the sudden voice , and subconsciously held her daughter closer. "Who are you?" Y/n ask as she scrutinized the hooded stranger. who staring at her nervously Arno could see and blush from under the gray hood...his stomach churned when he realized what was happening. just then D/n's eyes looked over at the hay and she got fussy.

Y/n didn't notice as her eyes were trained on the assassin in front of her who introduced himself as Rodrick. "And what do you want Mr. Rodrick?" she asked still cautious as the gray hooded, shifted uncomfortably. "I've seen at the cafe a lot, I enjoy your singing.." Her brows furrowed as she thanked him still lost on where this red bearded man was going with this. "I was wondering if you would be interested and in perhaps g-going out with me?" he stammered at little as the y/ht woman's brows shot up to her hairline.

"I'm sorry I misheard you..." He shook his head now hopeful and a bit more brave. "You do realize I married, right?" she pointed at her ring the man's demeanor hadn't change. "And yet he let's you wander the streets alone and never once seen you preform, tell me what kind of husband does that?" Y/n frowned and sighed as agreeing with him as she looked down at D/n little brown eyes that mirrored her father's blinked tiredly at her before closing again. "Maybe you should ask him..." she then looked up at the rooftops. "Arno?" she called out to her husband Rodrick blanched as figure rose out of the hay pile whilst glaring at daggers at the red bearded novice who just realized he tried to steal his mentor's wife!? 

"M-master Dorian! I-I though she I- didn't know she was yours!" Rodrick stumbled over his words trying to apologize as the master came up beside he wife with a stern expression. "I think you need to leave, now." Arno growled the gray clad novice didn't need to be told twice! and ran disappearing into the crowds, Arno made a mental note of dealing with him later, He then turned to his wife intrigued and bemused.

"How did you know I was following you?"

"I didn't...D/n did."

" What...how?"

"I don't know how, but she always knows when her papa's nearby..."

Arno's heart sped up at the prospects that his daughter may have his gift and wonders what future she'll have when that time comes? But for now he opted to just finish having an afternoon walk with his girls. 

[iamnotbrianmay]

call me when it’s over (and myself has reappeared)

Part 1 of 2, lovies. If you want to be added to the taglist please send me a message! Also If you want me to write anything for you, my ask box is always open! 

Trigger Warning:  Just know that this will not be a very happy fic, so I'm sorry if you came here looking for that. Depression is not something you fix with a kiss and a cuddle, so yeah, don't expect that to happen here. Needless to say, this fic is a very heavy piece, so if suicidal ideation, self harm, or any theme related to those two things triggers you please, please, stop reading.

Now onto the fic! 

This was originally posted in @disabled-queen-hc but I couldn’t stop myself. I needed to write more about this, so yeah. I hope you all like it! 

***

Nobody ever bothers to ask why Brian May only wears long sleeved shirts. Just like nobody ever bothers to ask why he owns a collection of bracelets which he wears on the rare occasion that he does wear short sleeved shirts. Maybe it's the fact that people often only see what they want to see, or perhaps it's fear of hearing something that they don't want to hear.

All he knows is that it's been a long night, filled with the overwhelming lights of the night club Freddie had dragged them too, and the sinking feeling that filled his chest every time John's boyfriend rolled his eyes at Brian. He didn't really understand why the older man hated him so damn much, all he knows is that Daniel can't stand him. And that he isn't very subtle about it.

The other thing he knows is that Daniel, regardless of having known Brian for, give or take, two months already seems to know more about him than his four friends combined.

They had been dancing, the five of them, having the time of their lives and helping Brian forget about the sinking feeling that passed over him every time he caught Daniel's stare. The alcohol is helping him feel like himself again, lightening his mood and making the tension leak from his muscles. He definitely wants more.

He leaves them in the middle of the dancefloor with the promise of coming back with shots for all of them and misses the way that Daniel walks after him. Brian leans on the bar, bracelets that decorate his arms digging into his skin painfully, but he pays no mind to the sensation. Then someone slots himself beside Brian, pressing their shoulders together.

When he turns, he finds Daniel glaring at him. Brian's heart sinks, "Look, I really don't want to fight you. You seem to make Deaky very happy and I—"

"You know I love John, right?"

Brian frowns, "Yeah, but what does that have to do with—?"

"I don't think he should be hanging out with you."

Brian's frown deepens, "Look, mate if you think that I am in any way going to get in the way of yours and John's relationship you are wrong."

"That's not what I meant, and you know it."

"Then what—?"

Daniel's eyes flicker to Brian's wrists, and the penny drops. He feels his eyes widen and his breath shorten because oh god this can't be happening. He instantly cradles his hand to his chest and wishes that he hadn't worn the ridiculous Rolling Stones t-shirt he is wearing.

"You should be more careful when you play. If the wrong people were to find out..."

Daniel lets the thought linger on the air between them, and Brian's breath hitches, "You haven't told them, have you?"

Daniel shakes his head, his striking blue eyes never leaving Brian's face, "I'm not going too. And I won't tell the press either. I just want you away from John. He is way too precious, way too soft, and that," Daniel points at the hand Brian is holding to his chest, "will kill him."

The worst part is that Daniel's argument is reasonable. He can see the way that it would kill John, the way it could destroy Roger and Freddie. Brian knows that if it were to get out if any of his boys were to find out, it might tear them apart. So he just nods.

He clears his throat, blinks his tears away, and nods at Daniel, "Tell them I wasn't feeling alright."

Daniel nods, and gives Brian a faux smile, "I wish it could be different, Brian. But sadly it isn't."

Brian only notices the numbness that has spread over his body once he is left the bar. The cold air hits him like a truck, and Brian realises that everything he had been feeling that night seems to be locked away. The tears prick at the corners of his eyes, and a sob is clawing it's way up his throat.

He starts walking. Away from the bar. Away from his bandmates. Away from all the damage he has caused.

He finds himself at the banks of the Thames, an hour later. Staring at the water and fiddling with his bracelets. He started collecting them when he had turned fifteen. The first night his parents had found him in the bathtub, with crimson staining his shirt.

He still remembers his mother's tender hands, his father's worried eyes, and the kind words of his psychologist as she handed him his first leather band.

That was the first bracelet to go.

He gently undid the knot and threw the ugly thing as far as he could. He looked down to find three thin lines. All of different lengths, two older than the longest one of them all. He traced a finger over the lines, shivering lightly as the scab of the newest line fell away.

It was like a damn broke then, and Brian couldn't rip his bracelets fast enough. The beads of some of them rolled away as the string snapped, and the leather of others got caught in the fresh wounds, making them sting and bleed again. One by one they fell to the floor or got chucked away into the Thames.

Once his mind came back into focus Brian found that his arm now looked bloody and stung like hell. He had made a mess of himself once again, making the blood from the reopened wounds stain his pants and shirt, and /oh god/ what would they think if they found him right now?

Which of his friends would be the first one to scream at the sight? Which of his friends would be the first to leave him on the banks of the Thames? Which of his friends would ask him never to go back to their apartment? To get a new house and a new band?

He started crying, curled up into a ball and wishing for the ground to swallow him whole.

Hours later, when the cold had made his fingers numb and his legs practically useless, Brian decided that he needed to face the music. He needed to find the closest Underground station, clean up his arms and go home. He would put on a fake smile, tell his bandmates that his parents wanted him back for the weekend, and then disappear from their lives.

Maybe Daniel was right, if John, if any of them, were to find out it would kill them. It would kill them just like it had killed his parents years ago. He couldn't do that to them. They didn't deserve it.

The trip went as expected. He washed under the fluorescent lights of the Underground bathroom, he avoided the stares from everyone in the cart who wondered why a man was wearing a bloody Rolling Stones t-shirt. Then begged to every deity known to man that their newfound fame, regardless of how small, wouldn't come to bite him in the ass.

When he got home and looked at his watch, he realised that his bandmates were probably inside already. Three in the morning was usually past their bedtime.

Brian stuck his key into the lock and turned the thing around, trying to be as silent as possible. He was glad that he had changed the squeaky lock a few days prior. He did everything as softly as possible, kicking his shoes off, and locking the door behind him. He was so cautious that he completely missed the fact that the house was unusually quiet.

He couldn't hear Freddie's snores or the mumbling sounds that Roger made in his sleep. Brian frowned and stepped inside the living room only to find that John and Freddie's room was empty.

He flicked the lights on, "Guys?"

There was a loud crash from inside his and Roger's room, the sound was so loud that for a second Brian was worried Roger had actually harmed himself. But then the door was thrown open, and a flurry of blonde and white threw himself into Brian's arms.

Roger was sobbing, clinging to Brian like he hadn't seen him in a couple of years when in reality it had barely been a few hours. Ice trickled into Brian's veins, and he pried Roger away from his chest to look into his red-rimmed eyes, "Roggie, is everything alright? Where are Fred and Deaky?"

More tears flooded Roger's eyes, and he shook his head, "I have called every single fucking hospital in the region. Every single one of them. And none of them had anyone matching your description."

"Roger, what are you talking about? Why did you call the hospital?"

There is a moment in which Roger tenses, then his hands are on Brian's arms, trailing lightly down his biceps, his forearm, and finally coming to rest on his wrist. His cut up, cursed, wrist.

He has never had someone touch his scars before, and the reaction he has is visceral. He feels like throwing up and crying at the same time. Shame burns all the way from the base of his neck to the tip of his ears, and the sound that leaves his throat is one of a wounded animal.

"We were worried you had done something stupid," Roger whispered, then pressed a kiss to his temple, "the bartender overheard your conversation with Daniel and decided to tell us."

There is a second of silence, and then a sob escapes Roger, "God fucking damn it, we were so scared, Brimi. We thought we had lost you."

Brian feels painfully aware of everything around him, "Daniel told you about—?"

He can't bring himself to say it, and something deep inside him chastises him for it. You are such a coward. First, you can't stop yourself, then you can't say what you did out loud.

Roger's hands are on his face, cradling Brian like he is something precious, "No, Brimi. Lord no, he didn't have to say anything. We've known for ages, darling."

Brian feels as if the air has been sucked out of his lungs.

"We've known for years, Brimi. Why do you think we never let you come home alone? Or why we have the no locked doors rule? Or why there literally is only one razor in this house?

Love, we have known for so long, we were just waiting for you to tell us. To ask for help. And lord was that a mistake. We were so worried about driving you away from us that we never once stopped to think that maybe we were making a mistake."

Brian is left speechless, hands trembling slightly, and dizzy as hell, but it feels like a knot inside his chest untangles itself. He can deal with the feelings of betrayal in the morning. Deal with the fact that they knew and didn't do anything about it.

But for now, he just feels his legs give out in relief because they knew. They knew, and they didn't think Brian was less because of it. Didn't want him gone. Didn't feel the need to take him to a hospital and stuff him in the psychiatric ward. They knew and had decided to stay by Brian's side regardless.

His knees hit the floor just as a sob escapes his mouth, and Roger is there to comfort him. He wraps his arms around the smaller man and weeps in relief because oh god they know and they don't care. They know, and they won't stop being by his side. They know, and they decided to stay.

He doesn't know how long passes between his arrival and the moment where Freddie and John burst through the door. All he knows is that suddenly there isn't only one set of arms wrapped around him, but three.

He doesn't know which one of them is the one rocking back and forth. Which one of them is the one repeating the phrase 'you're here' over and over and over, and which one of them is sobbing uncontrollably. All he knows is that, yes, he is in their living room, encased in the warmth of his boy's hug. Yes, he didn't do anything stupid. And yes, maybe the world isn't as bleak as it had seemed a few hours before.

***

The thing with the morning after, Brian later realises, is that if the situation had been different, it would have been Brian's dream scenario. He woke up to the sound of cars passing by and John's soft breathing. The younger man was stroking his face lightly, tracing slow patterns on his cheek and making goosebumps rise on the back of his neck.

In another Universe, the beauty of the scene would have made Brian wonder if he had finally gathered the guts to kill himself. If the scene he was looking at is what his Heaven is supposed to look like. But the horrible taste of his breath, the puffiness of his previously tearful eyes, and the awful feeling in his chest make him realise that even if he had actually managed to gather the guts, this would be hell, not Heaven.

John gives him a weak smile and places his hand over Brian's cheek, "Morning, sweetheart."

He doesn't know what to answer, doesn't know if he wants to kick and scream, if he wants to cry and be held by the bassist, or if he wants to give John a warm smile and answer something equally sweet. The feelings mix together in an undecipherable knot, leaving Brian numb, so he opts for rolling over to face the ceiling before speaking, "Where are Freddie and Roger?"

John stays right where he is at, looking at Brian's profile, "Down at the stall. They had to work today."

Brian's eyebrows crease into a frown, "Shouldn't you be at university?"

There is a beat of silence, "I thought it would be better to keep you company."

"Better than your education?" A little bit of anger manages to slip into Brian's heart.

"Definitely more important if you ask me."

Brian decides to sit up then, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and shaking his messy head of curls. He doesn't need to look at John to know what part of his body the younger man is looking at. He has to restrain himself from hiding his wrist away, "You shouldn't have stayed."

The bed creaks behind him, "We weren't about to leave you alone."

Brian lets out a bitter chuckle, "You did before."

"We never—!"

"You know that's not what I meant."

Because yes, Freddie or Roger had always stayed behind on mornings like this, claiming that the stall only needed one person that day. Or John would always make an excuse about his professor cancelling last minute. But where had they been when Brian took out the razor blade tucked into one of his old physics textbooks? Or when his thighs were scratched beyond belief? Where had they been then?

"You knew, John. You knew. The three of you knew, and you did nothing about it."

"We did Brian, we talked about it, we—"

"And you never thought to include me?" Brian was shaking now, "You never thought about gathering us all up in a little fucking reunion and saying'Hey Brian, we know you slash your veins open, but it's disgusting, so please stop' ?

'Hey Brian, we know you can't be left alone because you might do something stupid, but we can't afford a new guitarist so we'll just have to stick around until you feel better' ?

'Hey Brian, we know you want to throw yourself off a bridge at any given circumstance, but we don't want to deal with the mess afterwards, so please don't?'"

He stood up sometime in the middle of his rant, and he is facing John who is looking at Brian with tearful eyes and broken expression, but Brian can't bring himself to care he only feels angry. Brian's fists are shaking, his legs feel weak, and he wants to cry but the tears won't come and that makes him infinitely more frustrated. There is a little voice in his head whispering that it knows precisely what Brian needs to unleash the feelings he knows he can have.

"I'm sorry."

Brian's anger inflates, "Come for me when you have something better to say, I'm sorry won't cut it this time."

Johns reaction is immediate, "Where are you going?"

Brian walks towards the door, ignoring John, and then realises that might be a little counterproductive. John is everything but stupid, he will follow Brian out of the room at the first sign of Brian feeling a little bolder than usual, "I won't kill myself if that's what you are worried about."

Then he walks out.

The flat is unnervingly quiet after that, but Brian doesn't notice that. He can barely hear anything past the ringing in his ears and the small voice on the back of his head as he makes tea. He only realises he has made two cups after he's already served them, but he refuses to go into that room again. If anyone is going to start the conversation, it's going to be John.

The younger man emerges from the room after the tea had gone cold. He sat beside Brian on the breakfast island, taking sips of the disgusting thing, and staying quiet for the better part of an hour. For a second Brian remembered Daniel's words. Maybe he had just killed John. Perhaps this was the final straw, and the younger man would remain like this for the rest of his life. Then John speaks.

"We found out six months after we had moved in together."

Brian looks at John, but the bassist is staring straight ahead, almost as if he could see the exact moment when the ugly truth had been revealed.

"It was your birthday, and we had managed to get you shit faced enough for you not to be able to stand from the couch. We had to help you up, give you water, and change into your pyjamas. We took your shirt off after a long struggle and... we saw your cuts."

John wiped his tears with the hem of his shirt.

"D'you want to know what you said? 'Don't tell them. Please don't tell them, I would kill myself if they knew.'"

Brian remembered that week particularly well, it had been possibly one of the shittiest weeks in his entire existence. And the number of cuts had grown almost exponentially. He had remembered everything up until the point when Freddie had taken out the stolen bottle of Grey Goose, and then he was a goner.

"Fuck we were so young. So scared. We didn't know what to do. We didn't want you to go... do anything stupid. Didn't want to wake up one day and find that you were gone, leaving us a note, and if we were lucky, a love confession. So we kept quiet and made our stupid plans. We pretended to be in love with other people because it didn't seem right to do it without you, but we couldn't risk things getting worse than they already were. And then I go and fuck it up, and the person I'm trying to like nearly gets you killed."

"So you are trying to justify yourself with a love confession?"

"Brian, shut up." John slammed his now empty mug on the table, glaring at Brian, "I'm not trying to justify anything. I'm just trying to explain. Because yeah, one of the people I love the most in the world tells me that he will kill himself if we find out right after we do. I couldn't take that risk. We couldn't take that risk. And yeah it was fucking selfish of us to do that to you, but I was— no fuck that, I am so scared of losing you by taking the wrong step. So scared of losing you that we decided to keep quiet instead.

I'm sorry we weren't there all the time, Brian, I really am. But not, for one second, think that we did nothing about it. That we didn't care. We even had sleeping schedules, okay? We would wake up every once in a while to make sure you were still there, you were still breathing. And God you are so unlucky that you never crossed any of us in one of your breakdowns. But Brian Harold May you need to understand that we never left you alone."

And it is bizarre, watching John break and Brian feeling so far away that he can't bring himself to comfort his friend. He can only watch from the sidelines as John dissolves into a series of broken apologies and guilty words. He can't bring himself to feel anything because the anger has been reduced to nothing and now all he feels is numb. And God he wishes he was still angry.

"Introductory Physics, Volume Nine," Brian's voice cuts through John's words, "Page thirty-eight."

"Brian, what are you talking about?"

"You want to help?" Brian asks, "Go get my textbook. Introductory Physics, Volume Nine, Page thirty-eight. There is a razor blade there, I put in last week after I did this." He holds up his wrist and lets John openly stare at his cuts, "Go get it and get rid of it, before I can do anything stupid. Then come back here, and we will keep talking."

John is up from his chair in a flash, nearly running into Brian's room before stopping at the door. He looks back and gives Brian the sweetest smile he has ever seen, "Thank you, thank you so much."

This doesn't feel like much, but something, anything, is better than nothing.

[isroselalondebisexual]

hiya!! i'm doing a trollswap kinda thing, and i'd really appreciate some analysis on the beta kids i've chosen! rose makara, dave peixes, john leijon, and jade captor! i understand if you're busy with other kidswap-related asks, so take as much time as you need to respond!! ^^

((Rose being Gamzee’s shade of purple is my hc for what she would be if she were a troll!))

(Also I know “indigo” is the canon description for Zahhak’s color however. Indigo is fucking purple-blue and I will die with my honor Hussie is WRONG)

Rose raised in a society that would expect her to act very high and mighty and violently would absolutely 100% end up “holier than thou” snobbish and drop-of-a-hat violent. I hate to say it but Rose would not end up anything like Gamzee in canon she would be a MENACE she would be society’s expectations for a indigo/purpleblood to a t. Having a Seagoatmom that’s never really around to give her any kind of emotional support or make her feel loved would only make her feel more angry at the world and feed into her violence. Like this is a girl who as a HUMAN with a mom who loved her, just was drunk, stuck NEEDLES INTO AN OGRE’S EYES AND RODE IT DOWN A WATERFALL like Rose as a troll of this caste would be HORRIFYING. She’s rich, nobody ever tells her no, there’s a cult that appeals to her because it’s that weird sort of horrifying Rose is into and also it’s something meant for her (Rose would probably favor the more violent aspects of it, that Gamzee didn’t really pay attention to). The kind of person who would MUCH rather pick a fight with someone who is wrong, than educate someone about what is actually right. Very stuck up kind of smarts, and she IS smart. She’s brilliant in every pursuit she takes. She’s just very privileged and buys into the rhetoric that tells her that she’s special, that she’s important, primarily because it fits well with what she wants but also because having a lusus that has abandoned her makes her desperate to find that validation that she IS important anyway and any place she can. Hot mess of a girl, surprising no one. As Seer of Rage, her quest is about her learning that there are CONSEQUENCES to her actions. And it is an ugly, messy personal journey that she does not want to have to deal with. Her fury, her destruction, her violence, her willingness to tear down the world if it does not suit her own wants and needs, those are admirable qualities, sure, when used PROPERLY. And Rose has been using them for malice. She’s been cruel. And now she has to see the results of her actions and emotions laid out in plain and it sucks. No one really likes being confronted with the things about themselves that aren’t good. But she must learn how to use her Rage for good purposes, and she must see the results of her fury, should she act on it. Visions of friends, hurt by her own hands, flashes of the future showing that she is WRONG, they’re not fun, but they’re useful, and she learns how to better herself. How to become someone who can balance her own nature with things like love and compassion, which takes the help of her friends, of course, but also holding herself accountable. John likely helps out with that, quite a lot. 

Dave Peixes, local hipster rich kid who likes hip new trends like “being nice to people” and “not killing each other.” He’s a giant weenie he probably doesn’t have designs on the throne, but he also very likely doesn’t do the shit we see Trizza do where he actually, like, RULES anybody. He defo has like 50000 social media platforms and lots of people follow him bc, wow, fuchsia blood, and he thrives off the attention bc yesssssss he IS cool and tyrian and important pay attention to him! There is no force on this earth or the next that is gonna stop that boy from wanting people to pay attention to him and being rich and extremely important and the only person in his entire blood caste is not going to put ANY brakes on that particular operation. Catch him taking selfies and using “alternative” paints on his nails. Like and reblog his cool scenic underwater photos and shore-side panoramas. Having a horrorterror as a lusus is nice, on one hand, because the giant writhing ball of noise and otherworldly fright loves him, but on the other hand he’s a soft dumb boy and he would REALLY hate having to feed her! Dave does not want to interact with things that are dangerous/deadly/sharp he doesn’t like that! He’d be very effected by having to kill things in order to take care of her, it’d affect his psyche very poorly. As Knight of Life, he’d be probably quite excited about being able to protect the living instead of having to kill things for his lusus. The prospect would also probably be pretty daunting, though, because he’s not used to that? He doesn’t know how? What is he doing. Having actual, legitimate responsibilities would be new for this very spoiled boy, and scary at first, but he’d get better and grow into it well. Being a swimmer, he’d end up very physically strong, and living in the deep waters of the Alternian ocean, he would have pretty quick reflexes, and if you know anything about me you know I like sea dwellers with big ol’ earfins and lots of freckles so please picture that and think about how cute he would be.

John Leijon would probably start out in a cave, get real depressed and lonely there, and move into a city, which would be a big culture shock and Catdad would probably take some adjustment ((”no you cannot eat the neighbor’s birdlusus I don’t care if it would be tasty, you Can’t.”)) but ultimately it would be for the best. His lusus loves him dearly and encourages him to always do his best, and growing up around a bunch of other trolls in a hivestem and being on the lower edge of middle class would be pretty pleasant, as far as Alternian pleasantries can go. Gets along with other trolls REALLY well! John’s got a pretty inborn social intelligence, even if he can seem dense sometimes, but this social smarts is a HIGHLY valuable commodity amongst trolls, who are raised to be far more close to the chest with their friendliness and emotions. John might start out seeming like a trick, and to be fair he does like practical jokes, but eventually he becomes the hivestem’s “This is John. He’s a little bit of an idiot but we love him and if anything happens to him literally every single member of this hivestem WILL kill you” and John just laughs and waves in the background bc wow, his neighbors are so theatrical! What a fun group. It’s so nice living in the city now. As Heir of Heart, his role is to literally embody emotions and the soul. People are not wrong when they say John Leijon has a lot of soul, that he’s got a big heart, he’s a loving boy who leaps at the opportunity to show that love. Ngl he probably has a crush on Dave in this. Just sayin. JohnRose is also a thing that I am thinking definitely happens in this. 

Jade Captor! Lower-class, but on the upper edge, could definitely die but isn’t LIKELY to. Probably has a sorta fatalistic sense of humor where she’s like “I’m gonna do the thing” “That could go wrong” “Then I’ll die :D” Probably gets really angry about the hemospectrum and how it doesn’t even make SENSE. Grrrrr!!!!!!!!! >:( She lives in a hivestem around bunches of other people LIKE SHE DESERVES!!! Maybe she and John even live in the same hivestem later on :D That would be so fun! They could be besties, like Aradia and Tavros were, but like they’d live in the same area so they could see each other every night :D She probably has a lot of close encounters with her own death and laughs them off because living in a hell society builds up that kind of casual PTSD. She gets very good at navigating danger though, because she’s an energetic girl with a short fuse and a loving but not particularly inclined to discipline lusus, and she can’t really keep herself out of trouble. Turns out to be a pretty useful life skill as the Witch of Doom, where her whole thing is navigating death and fate and misery and stuff. According to the canon extended zodiac quiz page, Doom is about empathetic sharing of misery, which would make Jade more of a listener, not a fixer, which, yeah, I can see her ending up that way. Life on Alternia sucks ass my dudes, and as someone in a lower caste there wouldn’t be a whole lot she could actually do to change anything, but by god she resents it, and she’s 100% willing to listen to you if you wanna talk about your problems. Probably resents the Aspect of Doom at first until she realizes that Witches are people who can change their Aspect, and then probably gets more into it. Because I am a sucker for Life/Death motifs, she and Dave are definitely very close friends, I’m gonna say moirails

[violyntfemme]

rules:

1. always post the rules. 2. answer the questions given by the person who tagged you. 3. write 11 questions of your own and tag 11 (or however many) people to answer them.

I was tagged by @hisreindeerjumper (first set) and @futuredescending (second set) so I am answering two sets.

Sorry this took so long but I started it last night as the meds were kicking in and it quickly devolved into incoherency :) 

1. what fandom have you been involved in that’s your favorite to date? Kingsman, hands down. Things are a little rough now and then lately, but I am hoping we find that live and let live attitude we all had less than six months ago, both before and after K2

2. what did you want to grow up to be when you were little? An archeologist, or a writer, or a fashion designer. I can’t draw and I hate chipped nails so really only one of those were going to work out for me.

3. favorite places to shop online? My Pretty Zombie cosmetics. 

4. first kiss! tell me all about it! and i you haven’t been kissed yet, how do you want it to go down? do you want to be kissed at all? It was at my grandmother’s house. I was 13, he was 18. He played the guitar and I thought he was a god. It was horrible though. I mean I knew nothing about kissing and he, like a typical guy, thought that he had to inhale the lower portion of my face. 

5. who was the first author that you read with a voracious hunger? Poppy Z. Brite. I still have my original, and falling apart, copies of Lost Souls and Drawing Blood, along with most of her (now his) books that have been released. I read and re-read them a million times.

6. what color looks best on you? Black. Always.

7. do you read your horoscope? If I come across it, but I do not seek it out.

8. what are you most proud of in your life? My published LGBT erotica. You think it would be becoming an attorney. Nope, it’s my porn that makes me proud. 

9. favorite food & why! Milano Cookies, dark chocolate preferably. They are wonderful with a cup of tea. They remind me of staying up late with my mother watching old BBC shows.

10. what scent do you have the strongest memory association with? CK One. I can’t stand it now, but one sniff and I am back in 1995 instantly. 

11. favorite tea flavor! Earl Grey, more specifically, Hooded Figures blend or a London Fog.

------

1. What is the nicest thing someone has done for you? When we had a rare ice storm and it was super cold out, my husband got up while I was getting ready for work and turned on my car to warm it up and de-ice it. Then he took some small rugs, the kind you wipe your feet on, and placed them over the ice as a path so I could get to my car safely (since I use a cane). Inside the car was my coffee and lunch waiting for me. This is the kind of thing he does on the reg. I don’t know why the man stays with my salty and bitter ass.

2. Do you have NOTPs? If so, why are they NOTPs for you? In Kingsman, Roxy/Eggsy. I am not hating on the ships at all, they just don’t work for me because I can’t see any tension between the characters. Roxy and Eggsy are my number one BROTP though and any fic that can capture that relationship well has all my love. In Sherlock John/Mary/Sherlock or Sherlock/Mary. I cannot stand her. Well, I take that back. The Mary that lived in John’s head in the last two episodes, her I actually liked quite a bit.

3. Summarize the worst film/book/song/story you’ve ever read/watched? Girl gets cursed by an old woman because Girl denies the lady a loan extension. Cue the worst. movie. I. have. ever. watched. My husband and I hated it so much that every time we watch something shitty we say that was terrible, but it wasn’t Drag Me to Hell terrible. It is the movie that all shitty movies are measured against. My best friend loved it and he is no longer allowed to rec movies to us. 

4. What are some fandom/fic things that irrationally annoy you? The mob mentality that crops up when there is a disagreement over anything. It happens in every fandom. Conversation devolves into vague-blogging and and passive aggressive tags. We are adults. Somebody doesn’t like what you like or vice versa? Cool. You keep liking your shit the way you like it and they can keep liking their shit the way they like it. There is more than enough shit for all of us to like. There will never be a shortage of shit, trust me on this.

Don’t agree with someone? Wonderful. Either talk about it like an adult and have a conversation or leave it alone. For example, there is a topic that I 100% stay away from in the Kingsman fandom because it makes me very uncomfortable and anxious. I do not agree with the popular opinion of the fandom regarding this topic. However, I realize that it is a popular topic, which very few, if any at all, of the rest of the fandom has an issue with, so I either blacklist it or take a little tumblr break until the conversation dies down. Because I am an adult and I am responsible for my internet experience. 

5. Write a summary for the fic you want to write but never will? Q has been clean for years, before even MI6 got their hands on him. The day James leaves with Madeline, however, Q finds himself in a ratty hoodie and torn jeans, walking down the same street where he once traded favors for whatever drug he needed that day. Cocaine for coding, X for laughter, morphine to forget. He just needs it this once. Morphine to forget James and whatever they were becoming before Swann, well, swanned, in. Cocaine to get him to work the day after. 

He has this under control. He does.

Until he doesn’t. Until Q is one needle away from existing and Geoffery, the addict, is about to take his place again. 

Until James comes back and sees what he left in his wake.

6. Someone writes a story that perfectly hits all your buttons. That story includes: _____, ______, and _________.  HC, Dom/Sub and ANGST. Kill me with the angst (bonus points if one of the pairing is in a downward spiral of self-destructive tendencies). 

7. I’m stealing @colinfilth’s question once asked on twitter bc it was SO GOOD: what is the fic one would write that clued your readers in that your identity had been stolen? A fic where there is a MCD of one people in the pairing, or the pairing the fic centers around does not end up together in the end. I want everyone to suffer terribly, cry and gnash their teeth, but they have to end up together and happy by the last sentence. It literally can be the last sentence that brings them back together, but it HAS to be there. After much pain and suffering of course.

8. Most embarrassing celebrity crush, past or present? I thought George Hamilton was the shit when I was really young for some reason. For the life of me I can’t even remember why or what show he was in that I watched. 

9. How much research will you do for a fic? Wing it? Get lost in a wikipedia hole? Read actual books on a topic? Google translate? Get consulting with native speakers? I will go as far as I need to to make sure whatever I am writing is as correct as possible. I don’t have a brit picker though because I am too introverted to ask, so that is an opportunity I have in my fics.

10. The one thing the creator of your current fandom could do to kill your fandom love. Not give us multiple shots of Whiskey’s ass in those Levis. 

I jest. A little.

Honestly, even if the movie sucks, I will still be here because the fan fic is phenomenal and I love the people I interact with within the fandom. And if the fandom falls apart, I will still be here by myself, re-reading the fan fic that has already been written. 

My questions:

1. What is something you loved as a child that you still love as an adult?

2. What is a show/book/band/movie that you love but are embarrassed to admit to?

3. If you have a day completely to spend as you please, what do you do?

4. What book or fic can you literally read over and over again to the point where you could probably recite it, but you still read it?

5. If you wear makeup, what is the one thing you could not live without?

6. Who is a role model for you? (Fictional or Real)

7. What fandom were you in, that you are no longer in, that you miss even though you won’t go back to it?

8. What is your aesthetic?

9. If you had to choose on to give up, would you give up reading or listening to music. Why?

10. What is the one thing that you feel as if you must do before you die? The number one spot on your bucket list.

11. How long have you been friends with your best friend(s)?

I’m tagging @opalescentgold, @timetospy, @mannersmakethmoi, @privatelyvex, @alethiaii, @plotqueen and @eggsy-youcheekytart, and anyone else who hasn’t done it yet.