#it still took me… what? almost a year?
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lilacs and ice cream
Requested: 👍
Summary/Request: Idk if your taking requests but, If you could (if your doing it) write something about Bo Bichette again please, preferably with a gn or fem reader. I’ve read everything that I can read about him that also applies with me.
Author's Note: Alright, @goodiesinthecloset21, I'm gonna do my best with this one. I want to add that I know absolutely nothing about baseball so any terminology is the work of a quick Google search or something I've heard in a movie. Anyway, I know that you sent your request like a million years ago so I hope after all this time, it gives you a bit of what you're looking for. I decided to do something softer this time, more fluff, since the last one was smut but let me know if that's not the way you wanted it to go and I can give it another shot. Thanks babe! Love ya, stay golden!
P.S. some of this is kinda giving “strained family relationship” which was unintentional, so I’m sorry about that. Hopefully, that doesn’t take away from the story.
masterlist
the other masterlist
xx
Summer in Toronto was beautiful. You loved the way the flowers bloomed, the bright purples popping against the bright green grass; even on the smoggiest days. There was only ever one thing missing - someone to share it with. That is, until Bo came into your life. You had gone to the baseball game with your family begrudgingly, but the seats were good and you knew it was something that your dad had wanted for a long time
“I just want to be in that stadium,” he’d say at least twice a month for most of your life, “just once. To see a game and watch the Jays win”
It was nice to see him, and the rest of your family, so happy. You watched the game, intermittently laughing at your dad as he tried to start a wave that barely made it past your section, or when he spilled his popcorn after jumping up in excitement. You really started to get into it around the 3rd inning, the crowd was getting loud and rowdy and it started to rub off on you. By the time the game ended, you were beaming with excitement, so much so that you weren’t watching where you were going and you somehow walked right into a crowd of people.
“Oh my goodness I’m so sorry!” you laughed, “I guess that’ll teach me to watch where I’m going next time”
“That’s alright,” one voice said, “are you okay?”
“I’m fine. A bit embarrassed maybe,” you added before finally looking up to see who you’d bumped into. Speechless when you saw Bo Bichette smiling back at you, “but you know…” you continued, trying not to blush as you stared, “fine”
“Glad to hear it,” he said cheerfully before his teammates called him to the bus that was waiting for them, “don’t go running into anybody else now.” You watched for a second while he hopped on the bus, feeling a small tug on your arm from your mom pulling you towards your family
“(Y/N), come on, what are you doing?” she laughed
“Yeah, yeah,” you answered distractedly, “I’m coming.” Your mind wandered to that encounter all through your family meal and you weren’t sure you could ever forget it - or that you wanted to.
xx
It had been nearly a week since you bumped into Bo Bichette at the Jays game. Honestly, it kept you going during your boring serving shifts at the pub you worked at.
“I mean it was a fun story,” your co-worker, Brit, smirked as she leaned against the wall where you were cleaning a table, “but don’t you think you should be over it by now? I mean.. it was a chance encounter,” she teased, “we don’t live in a rom-com”
“I’m sorry,” you laughed in return, “but it’s one of the more exciting things that have happened in my life. And.. yeah, maybe I’ve been single for a little longer than I would like.” Brit gave you an almost pitiful look before the door was burst open by a loud crowd of men, laughing amongst themselves before stopping at the host stand to ask for a table; you could only watch for a moment as they were directed to your section before you were pulled away to run food. When you finally got to the table of boastful boys, you noticed who exactly they were
“Well, hello again,” Bo smiled as he greeted you, “I was hoping I'd see you again. Maybe get a name this time?”
“H-h-hi,” you stammered, as you looked at him until you realized you should probably be professional, “hi, I'm (Y/N),” you course-corrected, “I'll be your server today. How is everyone doing today?” It was an awkward segue but you didn't know what to do
“Hi, (Y/N), I'm Bo. Nice to meet you,” he said, introducing himself in return and it calmed you down enough for you to... not look like a complete moron when doing your job, “officially.” You felt a blush creep across your face as you continued to take everyone’s orders. When you finally left the table, you exhaled sharply while your co-workers giggled
“I can’t believe this,” you whispered to yourself, “this is insane”
“It’s gonna be fine,” your friend said with a smile, “think of it this way: you’re finally continuing your rom-com”
“Come on, Brit,” you replied, hanging your head, “this isn’t funny. I’m too flustered to give them… to be a good server”
“You’ll be great!” she continued, “just be your bubbly self. They’re just people, don’t think of them otherwise”
“Yeah, just people,” you repeated, “incredibly well-known, well-recognizable, wealthy people”
“You know you also have other tables…” one of your other co-workers, who had been listening to the entire conversation, interjected, forcing you to snap out of your pity party
“SHIT!” you said quietly, rushing out to check on your tables, refilling water glasses and clearing plates where needed, all the while keeping an eye on the players of the Toronto Blue Jays. At some point in the night, the host came to grab you
“(Y/N), they’re asking for you,” the host said, “I don’t think they’re upset but they don’t want to talk to anyone else. Not even the managers”
“How long ago did they ask?” you asked
“Like less than a minute” she answered
“And they’re not upset?”
“No.. I mean I don’t think so but maybe they’re pretending? Being ‘polite mad’?” You chuckled a bit before thanking her and heading back to them, greeting them happily, making sure everything was alright
“We just wanted to ask you a question” Bo smiled
“Bo wanted to ask you a question,” one of the others clarified, and your interest was suddenly peaked
“Ah, okay,” you returned, placing your hand on the back of Bo’s chair, “what’s the question?”
“What are you doing after your shift?” he asked
“It’ll be late,” you admitted with a chuckle, “so I’ll probably be going to bed”
“What time are you off?”
“I’m on a split tonight, so I’m here until at least 10pm” you replied
“Do you work tomorrow?” Bo continued, earning a shy smile from you
“Tomorrow’s my day off. I hardly ever work Sundays”
“Are you free around.. noon?”
“Sure,” you said, “for what?”
“There’s this path I love hiking, how do you feel about that?” you said that would be great, both of you smiling at each other, almost completely ignoring everyone at the table. It took you until you got into the kitchen that you realized you had just been asked out on a date - ‘I guess it has been a while’ you thought - and now you didn’t know how to act. Bo was the one who confirmed the date, leaving you with a blush that covered your whole face; you were sure it looked like you were having an allergic reaction but you hoped he wasn't embarrassed of you...
“I'll see you tomorrow” you managed to get out after what felt like an eternity
“Tomorrow,” he said with a smile, walking backward as he left the pub, keeping his eyes locked on you until one of his teammates turned him around so he didn't hurt himself by running into the door.
xx
You woke up the next morning and practically hopped out of bed, immediately texting Brit
“Did I dream Bo Bichette asking me out on a date?” you asked
“No,” she replied plainly, after about 10 minutes
“I'm going hiking with a professional athlete today?”
“Yes”
“WHAT DO I DO?!”
“First of all,” she started a string of texts, “it's 8 in the morning, calm down.” You chuckled at her text, knowing that she had probably bitterly rolled out of bed after hearing the chime of her phone, “second, what do you mean what do you do? You go on a date with Professional Baseball Player, Bo Bichette”
“Okay.. sure," you typed, “but what do I wear?”
“You're going on a hike. Don't wear jeans”
“Thank you for that”
“Always here to help”
“I should start getting ready...”
“Again, it's 8AM” she repeated
“And the date is at noon...”
“Yeah”
“You don't need four hours to get ready”
“I need to shower”
“20 minutes”
“I have to find an outfit”
“5 minutes, 10 max”
“I have to do my hair and make myself look presentable”
“We'll say 30 minutes to be safe”
“I have to eat something...” You were grasping now but what could you do, you were nervous
“Maybe he's planning on taking you somewhere after the hike?” she countered, "I don't think eating before a hike is recommended”
“BRIT!” you text-shouted, "I'm freaking out. I don't want to be freaking out but I am. I don't want to make a fool of myself. Or him...”
“Okay, okay, okay,” you could practically hear her sigh through the screen, "you're not going to make a fool of yourself or him. No one's gonna be made a fool today. But you don't need to worry so much. Wear a pair of shorts, the ones you really like, bring a bandana or something - to get your hair off your neck a bit but also to get rid of any sweat you don't want him to see - and make sure you wear sneakers. Don't wear boots or flip-flops. And sunscreen. Always wear sunscreen!” You thanked her quickly, jokingly saying that you were glad she was finally getting on board, and placed your phone back on its charger before hopping in the shower.
“Maybe Brit was wrong. Maybe this really was a mistake…” you grumbled to yourself as you fixed your outfit in the mirror, nearly jumping out of your skin when the doorbell rang. You tried to be as calm as you could, letting out a deep exhale before answering the door
“Hey!” Bo said with a wide smile
“Hi,” you said simply, any doubt you had was now replaced with butterflies in your stomach - being nervous was so basic but you couldn’t help it.
“I.. you ready?” He stammered. It made you feel better that he seemed a little out of his element as well
“Let me just grab a water bottle” you smiled, leaving the door open as you ran to the kitchen; a way of saying ‘you can come in, judge my apartment a little if you want,’ but you were maybe just a little too quick.
“Let’s get going then,” he remarked happily and the two of you were on your way. You weren’t sure what to expect with this hike but Bo using the word path led you to believe it wouldn’t be that bad - which would be ideal since the last time you properly went hiking would be at least 5 years ago. However, it turns out, you forgot to take into account that Bo Bichette was, in fact, Bo Bichette: Professional MLBer. In the middle of the hike, you leaned against a tree, claiming you needed the shade
“I forgot to put on sunscreen and I don't want to burn,” you falsely claimed, catching your breath as Bo leaned against the tree with you
“Sure,” he smirked, bringing out his water bottle to take a sip, “I mean I don't burn as easily but we can stay in the shade.” Once you had finally evened out your breathing, you took a sip of water and looked out at the path that you were about to continue walking
“It's beautiful out here,” you smiled, leading both of you back onto the path at a slower pace now, “I can tell why you like it so much”
“I almost brought you flowers, lilacs,” he gestured to the flowers on the path, “but I knew the path and I knew there would be lilacs here, so I decided against it”
“Aww,” you said, pouting slightly to hopefully show how cute you thought it was, “that's really sweet. I would've appreciated it either way but I'm glad I got to see this first”
“I chose right then?” he asked eagerly
“Yes,"”you smiled, “you chose right.” Bo kept your pace for the rest of the walk but you could tell it was not what he was used to and you felt a little silly not telling him you hadn't been hiking in so long. “I'm sorry that this wasn't a very.. exciting hike,” you laughed uncomfortably, “I haven't been on a trail of any kind in about 5 years. I used to do a lot more physical activity and then I guess I just kinda... stopped”
“That's okay,” he smiled in return as the trail came to an end, “it was nice to see it at this pace. Yes, I do typically go a bit faster,” he laughed to himself, “but I don't always take in the beauty of the actual walk. So, I guess I should thank you”
“You're very welcome,” you returned jokingly and he bowed to add to the humour. The two of you finally got to the car and you hesitated as to what was going to happen next
“Everything okay?” he asked, noticing your reluctance to open the door
“I just... had a really good time,” you admitted, “I'm wondering, I guess, what's next?”
“What do you mean?”
“Are we going somewhere else or should we end it here?” you said, “I mean, sorry,” you continued awkwardly, “I don't want to be presumptuous. I'm just flushed”
“What would you like to do?” he smirked
“Whatever you had planned” you admitted
“Then, I think we should go get some ice cream,” he offered, “I know a great place nearby.” You happily agreed before hopping into the passenger seat of the car. You felt butterflies the entire car ride to the ice cream shop and tried not to stare at him too often but would occasionally catch him looking back at you.
“Is Rocky Road your usual choice?” you asked, as you scooped a bit of your favourite into a spoon and bringing it to your mouth
“No,” he admitted, “I’ve never actually had it. I just wanted to try it”
“And…?” you giggled, “what do you think?”
“It’s okay,” he laughed, “I’ve had better but I’ve also had worse.” You smiled at his words and continued eating your own ice cream, taking in the pastel colours of the parlour at the same time, when you heard Bo giggle slightly; your attention immediately drawn back to him
“What?” you blushed
“You just have…” he began, gesturing to his mouth and it took you a minute to understand that you must have ice cream around your mouth.
“Oh,” you said in surprise, tinged with embarrassment, but his finger soon grazed your lip, wiping away the small mess there. “Thank you,” you whispered in this unbelievable rom-com moment, his finger lingering slightly before he cleared his throat and removed it
“My pleasure” he grinned. You wondered if there might be a kiss but let him take the lead - you didn’t want to set expectations. As he drove you home, you couldn’t help think how sweet this all was - the walk, the lilacs, the ice cream, the moment - but the one thought that kept sticking in your mind was: I really hope there's a second date. He walked you to the door to your apartment building, stopping short of entering the lobby, “I had a really nice time”
“I did too,” you returned, “thank you for… everything. It’s been one of the best dates I’ve had in the city”
“I’m glad,” he smiled, reminding you of your first meeting, “maybe we can do it again?” You felt giddiness take over you and you rushed to agree, hoping that did not throw him off. “Perfect,” he finally said after what felt like a long pause, “then I think the lake is open. It’s another physical activity, I know, but paddle boats are always fun. What do you say?” The smile that spread across your face felt like it might consume you and all you could do was nod your head in agreement, “I will pick you up tomorrow then, same time?”
“I’ll bring the sunscreen,” you joked, “I wouldn’t want to burn.” He smiled at you lightly before placing a small kiss to your cheek, a feeling you’d think about until the very moment he picked you up for each and every date.
#bo bichette#major league baseball#mlb#mlb fandom#Bo bichette fic#Bo bichette imagine#this was the first of my drafts that I finished#it still took me… what? almost a year?#I just haven’t had a chance to look at it#but this was one that I wanted to be cute so it was easy to write#hopefully it’s good#sometimes I can’t tell#or I doubt myself lol#masterlist#the other masterlist
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#a doodley#okkk 2022: the torture chamber....i only sparsely drew al and developed talon (he was borned...) bc my mind was occupied with other things.#2023: exiting torture chamber; it took me a tiny little bit to get back to drawing and ''interacting with'' al again but i did it even#though it was a reminder of the Bad bc he's my copium#summer 2023: i view and witness media and suddenly have like 5 fictional men i cant decide on which to focus... and september (talon month)#comes along so I decide to focus on Talon after not touching him much at all throughout the entire year#(forced this btw i did not wanna do it LOL i didnt even remember how to draw him)#september 2023 to now: talon has infiltrated the brain. but i want to swivel back to al#now: i've forgotten how to Talk to al (just like i did in beginning of 2023)#(and just like i forgot how to talk to talon for most of 2023)#so ive kind of just been replaying the smunker cow al daydreams from when they first met#so I can find my way back...retracing my steps#in doing so ive kind of also forgotten how to interact with talon but still havent gotten back to al#so rn my life is so boring without imaginary bf interactions. just the before sleep plot rehashing daydreams...#or sparse visions of em Sometimes#nobody in my brain rn just like the short period last yr and its distressing#what do i draw without a love obsession.....#how do i pass time without it....! so boring. idk what to do#i miss the me of several yrs ago when i was drawing 50 different aus with al....ive downgraded in skill and imagination and creativity#so bad since then. idk. idk. i hope they come back to me soon#maybe i shld just draw al a lot which is how i kickstarted caring abt talon again almost a yr ago ?#hoping i can get him to come back before my surgery i need my big sexy boy nurse for recovery#(complaining abt things usually fixes em for me so im hoping thats the case here)
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#one piece#sanji#black leg sanji#everysanji#thriller bark#ch489#obligatory hitting him with hammers#but also i was thinking about how i originally got into one piece for some reason#which was in 2015 mind you almost 10 years ago#so when i was a freshman in high school we took a field trip before christmas#it involved going ice skating and then the mall and i think we went somewhere else that isnt entirely important#but anyway i was talking with someone while we were at the mall and looking at manga and i said i was interested in trying manga#so my. well idk friend might be too strong. classmate lets say suggested one piece#and so i got the first two volumes (which i still own they're on my bookshelf i take whenever i move)#and he told me that they went through each of the four blue seas before going on the grand line for some reason????#i think what he meant was that every volume has what arc it is on the top but he somehow#confused that with they go through north/south/west blue too#well anyway i havent talked to that guy since like 2017. wonder where he's at#if he's following this blog and recognizes this story i'm deleting social media forever
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bruh how did u blow up 😭 i am trying to do my own little upload blog thing and it seems so hard
to be honest, I think it’s just because I already had another sideblog with a few thousand followers, and after some time with this blog i happened to reblog one of my own posts there talking about it. Before then, I got almost no interaction here (though I didn’t post very much then compared to now)
regardless, it’ll take some time and then you’ll get some hit post you didn’t expect, that’s what happened on my other blog I mentioned, here too
#add on I wanted to say maybe just try to focus on your own aesthetic niche and just keep at it with proper tags and such#my other blog I started in like early 2017 as a kidcore rainbowcore one#and it took me around a year to get any real following base#now in current it has around 6k (still a lot less than here#this blog surpassed that one’s following in almost no time I was shocked#but yeah all you can do is keep at it lol#I don’t have any real amazing advice that’s just what I did on my other blog#I kept posting for my niche and eventually got hit posts though they were memes to be fair at first I think lol#but you have to build a base following first#and wait
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youtube
day 1000-something of wishing that this had been added to honeypre before it eosed
#sorry guys i may say that i love cec songs b u t my favourite hw song is still hajimari no sayonara (sorry for being a fake fan)#(b u t if they decide to take this route with nghy [moving on despite an unrequited love] i’ll eat my shoe)#song still slaps after almost 11 (wtf) years since its release#aka ‘hey guys remember the good ol’ days when hw used rin and len—‘#there’s just s o m e t h i n g about this song. the feeling of still loving your ex who has completely moved on from you#a n d the resolution to move on despite your feelings and wishing the happy couple the best despite everything#suki kirai miniseries my childhood anthems#(albeit it took me a good year or so to warm up to suki kirai bc ✨reasons✨)#b u t it’s still the throwback to the days of yore when the og vocafansubbers reigned the yt scene… with rpers in the comments and all…#man. raise your hand if you still remember annotated tls on vocasong reuploads#o k that’s enough of feelin old for one day; time to return to speculating what ymk’s upcoming mv will be#(prayingngngngng for. like. a lxl canon or nghy canon song [delusional] or ariken/mdsn wedding or—)
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scrolling back through my liveblogging of the day of the nyc concert because of recent notifications and its such a fun mixed bag of emotions to relive it all again
#helloooooo pineapple in my notes i do not mind the likes and reblogs <3#but it was such a crazy day that day of the show. so much happened#i also didn't remember that the day before the concert is when my bus got messed up and was taking me back to ny#and i had to get a car service home and everything#and then there was the concert the next day!#and what i had done was worked monday. took all of tuesday off for the concert. got like maybe 4 hour of sleep if that#and then went back to work wednesday. stupid#it worked out fine lol but i dont think id do it that way again idk#other remembrances of the day:#my biggest regret is getting all worked up abt my stupid letter that never got to them anyway like jeez. obviously i still enjoyed the show#but still. OH and i missed out on getting the latte pinback buttons#not the biggest deal but i did want those. i was just awkwardly standing around before the nyc show#and the merch line was always super long anyway#what else. oh i wish i could have met those of you that were there. but next time! im cooler now so next time.#the show itself was crazyyyy. again so fun and surreal#one of the tags on my original review was something along the lines of me having not been this excited since i was a kid#and it was really like that. like it really was that absolute pure overjoyed excitement that i haven't felt for a long time#i felt the same at the hollywood bowl. just having so much fun (missing it now lol 🥲)#cant remember if i mentioned this before but when i was standing outside the stage door i saw both spike lee and adam driver leave backstage#adam driver is Tall. i didnt even recognize him at first fdhgkgkg#anyway. some thoughts almost a year later wow!
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on losing a mother
#yelling#s.poem#mom tag#poetry#okay to reblog#it's officially been over a year since the last time i saw my mom.#her skin was translucent paper thin and she looked so fragile in tht hospital bed but she was supposed to be getting better#and she did. for about a month.#she went back into the hospital 3 days after my birthday.#she stayed there for like 2 weeks and then died about a week after she checked herself out.#the last time she ever texted me was on my birthday. i waited two days to text back. and i never heard back from her.#the next time i saw her she was a pile of grey ashes in a plastic urn. she sits on my shelf now. i haven't gotten her a new urn yet.#i try not to feel guilty. there wasn't much i could do from a thousand miles away#but i still feel the guilt every day itching under my skin and screaming at me in my mind that i should have done better#that i should have been there for her#her phone number has since been given to someone else. i deactivated her facebook account. i cleaned out her apartment & threw away almost#all of her belongings.#i took photo albums. i took some jewelry - including the ring she wore as she was cremated. it survived the fire. the funeral home put it#in the urn with her ashes. i wear it sometimes just to feel like there's still a part of her with me.#but she's gone and i don't believe in an afterlife and neither did she#there's some comfort in knowing she is no longer in pain that she is no longer suffering#but i still sit here and i think of all the things i never got to tell her and the new things i want to tell her every single day#i never got to come out to her. not really. i never got to tell her that i understood what she went thru with my dad because i lived it too#anyways. sorry for going off in the tags. i'm okay i promise. just feeling a lot of feelings right now.
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*sighs* can’t make anything easy for myself can I?
I was sliding around the internet and saw this skirt from SHEIN.
And immediately thought I can make that better! In beautiful linen! With massive pockets! So I got to work. Step one. I’ve been wanting a wrap circle skirt for a while so cool let’s do that. So I cut out the half circle, easy peaky. Well. I did not have enough fabric for the flounce after that. (Literally the time between seeing this pic and measuring fabrics was like. 15min lol) so I went on the website I got the linen from and they no longer offered it in the weight I needed!! Ok well. I do have a heavier linen in my stash already and I didn’t really want to pay more for shipping then for the fabric anyways. So I will use that. A waistband with the thicker fabric would be better anyways and the ruffle would have some nice heft plus I was gonna leave the edge raw and the thicker fabric would ravel just a little nicer imo.
But then.
I saw some cotton lace at the back of my stash. That would be hella cute!!! Only it was only 2 in wide. But that got me thinking about lace and um. Crocheted lace. That’s insane tho right? I already have a perfectly good solution and I haven’t crocheted a full piece in like 6 years….
Anyways I spent the morning before work sampling/relearning lol. I’m gonna have to make like 3 yards since I want a 2x times gathered ruffle.
#me: I can’t start anymore yarn projects until I finish at least 2 current wips#also me: this is a sewing project I can do what I want#anyways I’ve barely started the sample but shout out to crochet it’s fast even when ur slow at it#I almost can’t believe myself I ignoring a perfectly good solution that is in line with The Vision but I turn my back on it#I say almost because I’ve lived with me for 30 years I do kno what I’m like at this point lol#but yeah it might actually be doable???#I might be being a little optimistic because one row of single crochet on a 6in size 10 crochet cotton still took me like 10min#but I’m fast at chaining and I wanna do a net design for the bulk of it#might go down a yarn size tho so it gathers nicely#also have had NiN closer on loop this whole time so it’s like#me whispering to my sewing projects ‘u let me complicate u’#crochet#yarn#sewing#hand sewing
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My friend is leaving for a different state and I don't know what to feel
#its not like we meet that often either#we met once in the last two years#We weren't on talking terms for a year too#and yet yet i love her too much#she stopped talking to me for no reason and later during her birthday i texted her a long message she replied too and.. that's it#again during my birthday she sent me a huge text and i cried and i called her the next day#she was so skeptical about starting over again and almost disconnected the call#all because i simply told her that it will never be the Same again and that I'll always have the fear that she's gonna leace#*leave#yet we started talking again#though I'm the one doing most of the talking part#and guess what? this is not the first time this has happened. she stopped talking to me out of nowhere a few times before too#it took her months :)#does she still hold too much power over me? yes#would I die for her? yes#what am i on tonight omg i need to get a life#sorry having a moment#had to get that out#idk what to feel anymore#i want to die#abhi rants
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not to be like “i miss college” even though i do but mostly i think i miss being smart. before depression and life events had chewed up and partially swallowed my brain. just getting to problem solve and think, being Very Into something as the norm. i know being an english major is basically the easiest thing you can be at the undergrad level but i do feel like that was the one and only time in my life where my natural state was actually a pro instead of a con. i graduated with the highest honors and absolutely no one cared but i cared
#aster chat#family life exploding exactly one (1) month from graduation is still just. it. god. it was almost seven years ago and it still hurts#SO much. i had worked so hard to graduate with the honors i did#i took a 400 level history class in my 2nd semester with one of the hardest humanities profs and i got a B#i basically lived in a break room for a whole semester because my misophonia was so bad with my roommate at night#i stashed pillows and blankets behind a couch and slept there to stay sane enough to write my papers#i got so close to Ending Things three times and DIDN'T#my professors LOVED ME#and then graduation came and it was just. over.#went right back home to sit between my parents as much as i could and get yelled at and watch everything go down the drain#like as soon as i walked out of college i stopped existing except as something for my parents and my job to use up#like. i know it's cringy to still be thinking about college but that was the last time i mattered as myself. you know#people liked me because of my brain! my thoughts! not for what i could do for them or for a paycheck#me qua me#okay lmao Antidepressant Time bye#no offense but my english classes wouldn't have made me feel weird about saying 'boon' instead of 'pro' up there#i changed it to not sound like an assclown but my profs would have thought it was funny.
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ok. i finally finished trigun 98.
that. Sure Was Something. it's rly interesting to see how the end of 98 compares to what nightow did in trimax. there are some similarities of course, but overall it felt really... simplified in comparison.
my final verdict is that Yeah trimax is still my fav trigun iteration, but by itself trigun 98 is a pretty emotionally fulfilling anime
#speculation nation#fanny watches trigun#trigun spoilers/#tagging preemptively#there's a lot for me to sort out. creative choices they took and such#i want to supplement my writing with details that appeared in 98 that didnt appear in trimax & dont conflict with them#such as the thing with wolfwood being 7 years old when he killed his own guardian. presumably his father#in trimax we see him say he was 'born in a ditch' but it says Nothing about his childhood#but if we were to merge the bit from 98 with what we know from trimax... wolfwood aged 7 kills his father and then lands in the orphanage#already jaded but happy there. wanting to just take care of the other children.#that's. compelling to me. and ive basically adopted that into my personal interpretation of his backstory#since we didnt get much of that from him. aside from the general details.#the thing with the guns was interesting. though it obviously conflicted with the manga's thing of the angel arm#vash's desperation to not be alone was Heartbreaking. & the fact that he followed knives around for almost fifteen Years...#even with his feelings of betrayal. and knives still took care of him during that time too (like covering him with a blanket when he#fell asleep out on the ledge)#there are SO many interesting details. and im definitely going to have to go through this anime some more to sort it out#but ive finally finished my first watch! and im pretty excited about that :')
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What ive learned about the yakuza community is that you guys are way too hung up over that scene in y4 where he pinned haruka to the ground then started panting really heavily , that didnt happen for me , that scene wasnt real to me i forgot about it.
#Yakuza loveblog#it literally didnt happen for me like the game could have been perfect without it so i took it out#like how could you not like saejima he... he would be the perfect man if not for that scene#but it WOULD be funny to make haruka have beef with both majima (kidnapped her) and saejima (lowkey assaulted her)#saejima wouldnt do that .. he loves kids ...#i adore saejima i think hes super cool and extremely hardcore. more hardcore than kiryu even and kiryu is extremely hardcore#saejima was the first to almost die in the snow but unlike kiryu he didnt even get frostbite#well he did a bit but it wasnt that bad ... kiryus fingers were one hard press from having the flesh slough right off#anyway HOW CAN ANYONE NOT LIKE SAEJIMA HES SO COOOOOOL#Hes so charismatic and you can tell the depths of his empathy are unfathomable ... he looks at someone with sorrow and you know his heart#is breaking. he always gets so serious and sombre when hes trying to convince someone not to go down a dark path#my stomach HURTS. see saejima could have given me medicine because he is so kind#you have got to forgive him for pinning haruka to the ground with his knee between her legs like you need to forgive him#that was a slipup he was never planning on doing anything and he was very sorry for it ... i swear to you he just froze up he wasnt planning#on touching her or anything ... you know whos truly to blame ? kiryu. for standing there once again like a stone starue and letting it happe#hey ‘suzuki’ (lol thats a good one i might steal it later) i know youre an escaped convict because of the animalistic look in yout eye when#you pinned my twelve year old daughter to the ground and slobbered on her. and not the other telltale signs like you wearing a prisoners#outfit when you washed up on shore (lol) no there were no other clues. that was what tipped me off#hated kiryu in y4 he is useless. i will never forgive him. see saejima was panicking because haruka was going to call an ambulance. kiryu#had a cool head and he still decided to do some stupid shit. too bad i badly want men who make bad decisions and want to fuck kiryu so much
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one of my favorite parts of strategy games like chess and advance wars is that feeling when you haven't quite won yet but the enemy has no real options so it feels like you're just sloowly wrapping around them like a snake. when all your enemy has is their king and you've managed to turn 3 of your pawns into queens, and all you've gotta do is get in juust the right position, and in the meantime all they can do is squirm. god, that's such a wonderful feeling. nothing quite like it
#incidentally i don't like it when versions of chess insist on enforcing a stalemate rule#honestly to a certain extent i feel like if your enemy has nothing but a king and you've got more than one queen that should just be an#automatic win. like exodia except instead of the individual pieces being useless they're all the most powerful monster card in the game#i think the favorite card i had as a kid was my five headed dragon. thought that shit was so cool. 5000 in both attack and defense???#it seemed unbeatable to my little kid brain. also it was a dragon. of course i loved it#i never learned how to Actually play yugioh of course. just what rules my stupid kid reading comprehension could understand#im pretty sure a monster has to be in play for you to be able to sacrifice it. i didn't know that so i filled my deck with nothing but#really strong monsters and i'd just sacrifice some directly from my hand to summon what i wanted#i stole a lot of yugioh cards as a kid from target. i'm comfortable saying this online because the statute of limitations has absolutely ru#out by now. i looked it up.#i remember for the first time i stole a box set that had exodia. i remember on my way home so i could open it... i genuinely felt like ther#was something mystical in that box. something ancient. there was something really special about that to my kid brain#i'd later steal quite a few more because i got the bright idea to fill a deck with nothing but exodia cards. i figured i'd always have a#first draw win. took me until actually trying to play it that i realized i'd often just get 5 left arms which obviously wouldn't work#so i took that deck and added some actual monsters to “hold me off”. it was pretty much just a normal deck with too much space taken up by#essentially useless cards. i don't think i ever actually won by drawing exodia naturally. what a shame#side note but i still get a bit anxious every time i go to that target. i haven't in years and i can basically guarantee they wouldn't#recognize Grown Ass Adult me as “that kid who stole a lot of yugioh cards”. it's been almost a decade if memory serves#i've grown a lot since then. both physically and metaphorically#i digress
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how dare you remind me of athelstan
DONT YOU FORGET HIM!
#answered#beloved mutuals#he died for the showrunners sins#the amount of vitriol i have for this whole thing#uncanny#funny how#in later seasons#they captured a girl#and it took a whole two episodes for ragnar to sleep with her#mmmhhhhhhhhhh#STRANGE#ALMOST AS IF#THEY DIDNT HAVE THE BALLS#TO DO THAT WITH ANOTHER CAPTURED PERSON#anyway it's been like what#8 years????#call me sodium chloride baby cause the salt is still there#vikings#athelstan
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My sweet baby 💜 I miss her so much 😢💔
#she has gone missing almost a year now#and no matter how had i was looking for her#and what i did i never found her#she and my other cat oliver (he's still with me almost 4 years now) never left the yard#and i never thought something like this would happen#i still feel guilt for it honestly#though i know i give her best life i could while she was at my care#she was a tiny kitten when i found her and took her#almost on brink of death#ahe was so skinny and had a diharrea#she pooped everywhere lol#but with proper medicine care and lots of love and care she got better#and i got twi wonderful years with her#i miss her#i miss her so much...#and i still hope she will comeback or i will found her somehow#even tho i know chanches are almost none#i decide that i will adopt a new kitten soon since oliver is missing company and sadly i can't give him as much time as he needs and deservs#since i am preocpied taking care of my sick dad and everything else in the house#my dad tries and spends time with him too as much as he can#but he is sick man and gets tired fast#so he will get a new friend too#hes is a rescue toobtw#anyway idk why i wrote all of this#i guess after seeng her photos it just come to me#non sims#nonsims#personal#buffy the cat
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weekly dunmesh ep post here to say that as one of the eps that didn't follow their usual formula I loved this one to bits 😭 pacing felt just right, didn't feel that rushed to me (tho maybe that's bc I kept goin back to watch more details lol) and the canaries and yaads voices in sub are all really really good
#i fucking loved pattadols voice WAHHH and i love how shes draw in the anime.. perfect girl#i think the only voices that didnt immediately click w me were otta and cithis'. they felt too high-pitched or too soft spoken respectively#but i think i can get used to them#also toshiro looking sm better w just a simple shave is getting to me.. his interactions w namar tickle me good..#the egg convo back to touden party had me go 'oh no' but then i realized we werent at that part of the anime yet BUT STILL. WDYM WE'RE#ALREADY AT THE GOLDEN CITY!!! THAAT FELT LIKE IT TOOK LONER. WHEN I READ THE MANGA!!!#i cant talk about everything i loved about this ep but shout out to senshi when he was doing you know exactly what im talkin about.#if i were a gay maan i think my reaction to that wouldve been marcille spitting her food out#PEAK MARCILLE EXPRESSIONS THIS EP BTW. CUTE CATGIRL IZU. LAOIS FREAK MINOTAUR EXCITEMENT. KEEP THAT TO YOURSELF CHUCKLEFUCK#the short impromptu 'pillow fight'#ahhh i just love them so much#but also its goin so fast 😭😭😭 don want my dunmesh thursday to eend so soon wahhh crazy that theyve been herefor almot half a year#i speaku#ALMOST FORGOT BUT PATTIES LIL FAIRY 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥺🥺🥺🥺 so cute that it makes u forget that its made out of [redacted]
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