#it started with georgiana yesterday

[marblecarved]

it's that time again where most of my muse is focused on my austen characters,

[fictionadventurer]

Potential Victober Reading List

Short List Bare minimum of books to meet every challenge

The Doctor's Wife by Mary Elizabeth Braddon (group read)

No Name by Wilkie Collins (a serialized book, book that plays with form, and a book by Wilkie Collins)

The Warden by Anthony Trollope (a book about religion)

An Ideal Husband by Oscar Wilde (Victorian drama)

Longer List If I want separate books for each challenge

Kidnapped by Robert Louis Stevenson (serialized)

The Time Machine by H.G. Wells (plays with form)

A Dark Night's Work by Elizabeth Gaskell (serialized)

Books It Might Be Nice To Finish This Month

An English Squire by Christabel R. Coleridge

The Three Brides by Charlotte M. Yonge

Extras Books I Have Around That I Might Be Tempted to Pick Up

The Tenant of Wildfell Hall by Anne Bronte (no way I'll have time for it, but it's such a pretty copy)

The Half-Sisters by Geraldine Jewsbury

On the Back of the North Wind by George Macdonald (I still need to read my copy)

Oscar Wilde's fairy tales (I just bought a copy at a book sale)

Verses on Various Occasions by John Henry Newman (I found it on the free ebook site yesterday, the religion prompt would be a good excuse to finally read Newman, and poetry seems like an easy place to start)

Ellen Middleton by Georgiana Fullerton (Just heard about this in a video this morning, couldn't resist downloading when I heard it praised and learned it was by a Catholic author)

[lothiriel84]

So Pure in Thought and Word and Deed

He was, in short, the spitting image of her husband, and she felt all the joy she had longed to share with him slip through her fingers and shatter to the ground at her feet.

A Pride and Prejudice ficlet. Darcy/Elizabeth, with Georgiana featuring prominently in her own right.

Not five months into their marriage, Elizabeth began suspecting that she might be with child. Thinking it prudent not to give her mother cause for any premature excitement, she wrote to her aunt Gardiner instead, and promptly received confirmation that, while it was still too soon to tell, all the signs pointed in that direction.  

Her heart full of joy at the prospect, she elected to take a long walk to steady her nerves before breaking the news to her loving husband. As she skirted the small farm at the far side of the park, she was surprised to find Mr Darcy’s favourite mount tied to the large oak tree standing in front of the house. Given that her husband had announced he would be away on business for the entire day, she was quite puzzled as to what his horse could be doing there, and without much consideration on her part, she found herself taking a turn around the modest yet well-kept garden. 

What she found there left her floundering in confusion at first, and then outright dread as the full implications of the scene presenting itself before her eyes started to sink in. There stood Fitzwilliam, bouncing a small child in his arms; the boy could be anywhere between one and two years of age, with a head of dark curls and the most beautiful green eyes she had ever seen. He was, in short, the spitting image of her husband, and she felt all the joy she had longed to share with him slip through her fingers and shatter to the ground at her feet. 

Scarcely knowing where she was going, she fled as quickly as her legs would carry her; it was hours later when she eventually found her way back to Pemberley, where she immediately locked herself inside her chambers, ignoring Georgiana’s worried entreaties that she at least consented to have a tray sent in.  

If her husband had come to check on her upon his return later that evening, she did not know, as she had finally succeeded in crying herself to sleep. In the morning she took herself downstairs with something akin to bitter resignation, feeling as if all the happiness they had shared up until that moment had been nothing but a lie, and there was nothing left for her to look forward to anymore.  

“Elizabeth, my dear, have you been unwell?” Fitzwilliam enquired, ever solicitous of her, and it was enough to stoke the embers of her anger once more, despite her better efforts. 

“It is none of your concern, Sir,” she replied with an icy coldness that verged on dangerous. “I would not have you concern yourself on such trifling matters as your wife’s health.” 

Mr Darcy looked as if he had been slapped, and could not seem to find the words to express his confusion at such an abrupt change in her manners towards him. “If I have done something to offend you, Madam, I am deeply sorry for it �� though I confess I am thoroughly in the dark as to the nature of my offence.” 

“Then let us talk about it no more. I find I have lost my appetite, so please excuse me if I retire to my rooms.” 

Not ten minutes later, there was a knock at her door, and she once again expressed her wish to be alone, even in the face of Georgiana’s clear distress.  

“Elizabeth, please,” her sister-in-law pleaded through the door. “Whatever the nature of your quarrel, I feel sure it is nothing but a misunderstanding. And you have not eaten since yesterday morning, you cannot go on like this, especially – in your condition.” 

That sweet, innocent Georgiana would figure out her secret before anyone else was something Elizabeth could not have anticipated. Still, she felt entirely too frazzled to face her new sister’s concerns, as well-meant as they were, and merely repeated that she required some rest; Georgiana, she felt sure, was too well-bread to reveal anything of so delicate nature to her brother, and that was the only think that mattered at the moment. 

She did not emerge from her voluntary seclusion for the next two days, though she accepted the trays that were sent to her rooms with absolute punctuality. The mere notion of food revolted her, but she needed to think of her child, if nothing else; it would not do to visit the sins of the father upon such an innocent creature as she was, in all likelihood, carrying inside herself.  

Fitzwilliam looked as startled as she had ever seen him when she finally made an appearance for tea. Still, she refused to meet his gaze, taking her place beside Georgiana instead.  

“Am I allowed to enquire how much longer do you plan to refuse to speak with your own husband, Elizabeth?” he asked of her in a low voice, barely waiting for his sister to excuse herself from company, after pleading a headache that would have scarcely fooled anyone.  

“That’s rich coming from you, Sir,” she shrugged, turning the full force of her irritation onto the slice of bread she was buttering. “I would have thought it congenial to your sensibilities, as you clearly appear to have kept something of much import from your own wife.” 

“I wish you would stop speaking in riddles, Madam,” Fitzwilliam replied, with a touch of his old temper. “Speak plainly, and I promise I shall address any concern you might have about this marriage.” 

Elizabeth considered him for a long moment, wondering how he could act the part of a gentleman with such well-practiced ease when he clearly was not. “Why have you never told me about the child? I think I could have born the proof of your past conduct much better, had I been informed of it directly, rather than having to discover it for myself.” 

All colour left his cheeks, and he stood up abruptly, glancing down to her in something akin to fear. “You have been to Mrs Goddard’s farm, have you not?” 

“I see you are not even making an attempt to deny it,” she stated with a sort of forced calm, clutching at her teacup so tightly that a detached part of herself wondered whether it would shatter in her grip. “I should be grateful for that, I presume. Tell me, is his mother so below you in station you could not bring yourself to act as any honourable man would, or were you so concerned about losing the good opinion of society as to abandon your own flesh and blood to protect your reputation?” 

“It is not as you think it is, Elizabeth,” he forced out with some difficulty, and there was something so pained about his countenance that she almost felt sorry for him. 

“Enlighten me, then. How, pray tell, are you going to explain the presence on your own estate of a child bearing such startling resemblance to yourself?” 

She had the momentary satisfaction of seeing her husband, always so in command of himself, falter before her very eyes. And yet, she did not feel so much vindicated as she felt utterly devastated in the face of such blatant disregard for her natural feelings on his part. “The secret is not mine to tell. I cannot, I will not betray their confidence, not even for your sake.” 

“That’s a very pretty excuse, Sir, but you cannot seriously expect your wife to content herself with letting matters slide, as if it was nothing.” 

“Nor can you expect me to go back on my own word,” he pleaded with her, to no avail. “I am not guilty of the sin you’re so keen to ascribe to me, but that is all I am allowed tell you in good conscience.” 

“Then we have nothing more to say to each other, I find. Good day to you, Sir.” She pushed away from her chair, and was halfway across the room when she very nearly collided with Georgiana, as pale as a ghost, who had apparently rushed in at that very moment. 

“I will not stand for this a moment longer,” she cried out in such anguish that gave even Elizabeth pause. “If you will not tell her, Fitzwilliam, then I shall, and you cannot stop me.” 

“Georgiana,” her brother entreated her, crossing the room in two swift strides, and reaching out for her arm as if to command her to silence. 

Georgiana, however, would not be swayed. “Robert is not Fitzwilliam’s son.” Her voice broke quite pitifully, yet she bravely soldiered on. “He’s his nephew. There, I have said it – despise me, if you will.” 

It took several moments for the full import of her sister-in-law’s words to register with Elizabeth. When they did at last, she found she was very much in need to sit down, and was only able to do so thanks to her husband, who very firmly escorted to the nearest chair. 

“I am so very sorry,” was the only speech she could manage, as Fitzwilliam pressed a glass of water to her lips, coaxing her to take small sips until her fainting fit had passed. “Oh, I shall never forgive myself, for as long as I shall live.” 

“You could not have known,” Georgiana shook her head, and although she still looked very pale and distressed, she offered Elizabeth the faint suggestion of a smile. “I could not bear to be made to marry his father, not after learning of his true intentions towards me. Fitzwilliam has been so very understanding throughout all this; he has done what he thought best to preserve my reputation, all the while ensuring that the child is well looked after, and he shall never want for anything in his life.” 

“You see now why I could not tell you, Elizabeth? I do own that it did not sit well with me, to keep such a thing hidden from my own wife, and that I had not stopped to consider what sort of conclusions you might reach, were you ever to find out – but I admit I had hoped you would trust my word as a gentleman, if nothing else.” 

“I beg your forgiveness, Sir,” she spoke very quietly, much ashamed of her earlier assumptions. “I allowed my fears to run away with me, and I have no excuse for accusing you so unjustly, save perhaps – but now is not the time, not when you have every cause to be displeased with my conduct.” 

Georgiana surprised them all by throwing her arms around her neck. “He shall be so very happy, I feel sure. I know that I am, for both of your sakes.” 

With that, she fled the room for good, leaving a very bemused brother to search his wife’s gaze for anything in the way of an explanation. What he found there, Elizabeth did not precisely know, but it seemed enough for his entire countenance to light up in a manner even she herself had seldom had the good fortune of witnessing before. 

“Oh, my love,” he all but choked out, gathering her to himself and pressing his lips very tenderly to her brow. “When?” 

“Next winter, I believe,” she told him in a voice much trembling with emotion, giving herself up at last to the comforting warmth of his embrace. 

[crvwly]

happy wip Wednesday 🕯️I’m ready for chapter 5

(hehehe and lucky for you i'm typing directly in the wip doc rn)

“I have a class-related question,” Pepper says, putting her hand up.

“Wonderful,” Aziraphale says, with a tired smile. “What is it?”

“Why did you cancel your office hours yesterday?” she asks, tilting her head and smiling coyly.

Well, he walked into that one. Aziraphale’s smile drops and he scowls at her. “I had an unexpected meeting off campus,” he says, “and as I said at the top of the hour, you’re welcome to drop in for makeup hours anytime this afternoon if you need assistance. Now – after her father passed, Georgiana went on to start a solo career…”

He trails off, glowering at The Them and their lineup of eager expressions and raised hands.

send me a 🕯️ and i'll add 5 sentences to bwctf and share a snippet from c5!

[marie1-kersaint]

Georgiana Wilson

You are Age 49

i am age 60

/ Aug 28/1975

/Oct 09/1964

This family is

https://kjbo.org/Deuteronomy-28-20/

EVERYBODY LOSES IN A CIVIL WAR.

That is why i keep begging you to ask your aunt Genevieve Demosthenes if her Mom GranDada had performed some VOODOO against us. There's no reason for MAXXX to be blind and ASNATH not to be able to get glasses and #PLANETFITNESS

and for Kersaint to be so 🤮🙄

ASNATH and MAXXX WERE BRILLIANT. SKIPPING GRADES, READING BIG BOOKS LISTENING TO CLASSICAL MUSIC ... etc

Unless you're living under a Rock 🪨 you know that VOODOO does exist

JESUS KNEW THAT evil spirits did exist while he was physically on 🌍

Please ask her. You can just PREAMBLE IT '😜 Kersaint for decades keeps bothering us whether your Mom had cursed them' i know for a fact that professor Jacque, School Master Owner Claude Cyril threatened to "take care of #MAXXX for defending me against 💰POUCHON 💵 mansion next to 🏫l'ECOLE SAINT FRANCOIS XAVIER 🏫

i had plans for yesterday 🤬🥵🥶all 4 giants were home 🏠. The door is locked BUT i can't take chances. i let hose drip all day and

You take it away. i haven't watered forever

In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

https://kjbo.org/1-Thessalonians-5-18/

West Palm Beach, FL

ALSO KNOWN AS

Georgiana Santos Wilson

Georgiana Santos

Georgiana Demosthenes

Georgina Wilson

Georgiana Demosthene

Georgina Santos

Georgina Demosthene

RELATED TO

Lenora Robinson

Freddie Wilson, 72

Ronald Wilson, 61

Steven Wilson, 34

Christopher Wilson, 46

George Wilson, 59

HAS LIVED IN

West Palm Beach, FL

472 waseca drive mnant of Israel?" https://kjbo.org/Ezekiel-11-13/

Ah Lord GOD! wilt thou make a full end of the remnant of Israel? 🇮🇱

[excentrykemuse]

Post Updates

I’m sure you’ve all noticed I’ve been posting every Friday through the prompts in February. I have another fic coming this Friday (At the Request of Georgiana Darcy), which I hope you will all enjoy. Yesterday I started another chaptered fic. It’s my first Harry Potter time travel fic (unless you count Judicamentum or Through the Looking Glass). I’ve got two chapters written hurrah! I’m aiming…

[berestweys]

[bookstantrash]

A/N: I am so very sorry for not updating for so long. I know I said I’d try to update more frequently while I was on uni break but life happened lmao. Classes are back, but I’ll try not left y’all hanging for so long.

You can check here Pemberley’s Lake, Hooked on You, Smells like petrichor and paper, The Sound of Music and A Midsummer Night’s Dream, part one, two, three, four and five of my Nessian Pride and Prejudice AU.

That being said, I hope y’all enjoy this chapter! We got a little bit of fluff, sprinkles of angst and a lovely plot twist ✨

Bloody Day and Ominous letters

Nesta woke up with the worst headache she had ever had in her entire life. She really should not have drunk as much as she had last night but as she saw her friends and Morrigan having fun that little voice inside her head — usually her mother’s or grandmother's saying Do better, Stop being such a disappointment or Your only purpose is to marry well so forget about love — got louder and louder, judging her company and trying to make her feel ashamed.

But she had had enough. Her grandmother and mother had both passed away already. It was time to bury them for good. So Nesta took the wine bottle from Morrigan and drank half of it in one go, her friends cheering around her. And she had so much fun. Nesta would never have guessed that drinking could be so enjoyable, nothing like those uptight parties where the ladies sipped a lonely glass all night long while the gentleman lost count of theirs. The only downside was her killing headache and the fact that she had overslept, a fact she took notice of once she glanced at the wall clock.

She had just sat up on her bed —  massaging her temple to ease the tension on her head — when an insistent knocking on her door made her mumble a curse. No doubt it was either Emerie or Gwyn — maybe both of them — waking her up. Those two were quite used to drinking, so it was no surprise to Nesta that they would be up and about very early.

“Would you two stop it?” she said loudly, opening the door wearing only her chemise, probably having ditched her dress during the night while she slept “I have a killer headache and your banging is not helping at all—”

She stopped mid sentence when she came face to face with Georgianam, the young lady’s hand still raised to knock on her door, Cassian right behind her.

“Oh, I apologise Lady Nesta” Georgiana said “We had agreed that we would go on a nice early morning walk today, but when I did not spot Miss Archeron at the breakfast table I got worried.”

“Please do forgive me, Miss Georgiana. I had a bit too much to drink yesterday and ended up oversleeping.” Nesta quickly said, mentally kicking herself for her rudeness “I will be ready for our walk in a minute.”

“Lovely! I will be waiting at the parlor then!”

Nesta closed the door with a sigh. Her morning had not begun the best.

However, it was only while she was brushing her hair that her sleep fogged mind caught up to the fact that Cassian had seen her half asleep wearing nothing but her chemise and with early morning messy bed hair.

She definitely could not be allowed to drink more than two glasses of alcohol if that was how she was going to behave whenever she drank more than deemed proper.

When she arrived at the parlor ten minutes later, she could not help but avoid looking at Cassian.

“Mrs. Potts brought you a little something to eat” Georgiana informed, pouring Nesta tea “And also some headache medicine”

“Please thank her in my instead later, she is too kind to me”

“Oh, it was all my brother’s doing” Georgiana smiled in Cassian's direction, serving herself some cookies “He was the one who asked her to provide not only the medicine but also the food.”

“I appreciate the gesture, my lord.” Nesta hid her blush behind the teacup.

“It was nothing, my lady” was all he answered, refusing to look at her.

That made Nesta’s heart strangely hurt. She could not help but think he had been disgusted by her earlier appearance. Her hair was such a mess and her chemise was all wrinkled from sleep—

Wait. Why did she care so much of what he thought of her? Nesta Archeron was not one to give much attention to others opinion of herself, so why was she getting so worked up when it came to Cassian? Of course, one could not help but notice how he always looked so presentable, with his spotless clothes, hair combed to perfection every single time. She had never seen a gentleman’s hair be so… perfect. She could bet her first edition of her favourite romance that he had awfully handsome bed hair. And that he had a mint breath even when woke up. And that he probably slept shirtless, if the last time she saw him at midnight at his library was any indication of his sleeping attire.

Oh Mother, why was she now thinking about all of that? She waved an imaginary hand to disperse her not so proper thoughts, focusing on the small talk Georgiana was making.

Both Nesta and Cassian kept avoiding each other during their walk, which did not pass by Georgiana without notice, especially given how her brother had made sure to stay two steps behind them, giving the excuse he wanted to give both ladies “privacy to talk comfortably”, something he had never done. Their walk, however, was cut short when Nesta showed signs of being tired and admitted that her headache had not disappeared.

“I assure you it is nothing to fret over” Nesta told a worried Mrs. Potts when they came back “It must be from yesterday’s drinking. There is no need to call a doctor.”

“Nonetheless, I will ask Chef Ramsay to prepare some light food and my special hangover drink” the old headmaid said with a motherly expression.

Thanking Mrs. Potts again, Nesta went to her room to splash some water on her face in hopes of refreshing herself. But a painful jab low on her stomach made her freeze and the blood drain from her face.

~•~

“Just knock on the door, my Lord” Lumière said as he watched Cassian drop his hand once again. The maître d’ had been watching his lord pace in front of the parlor door for what must have been twenty minutes.

“I do not want to bother her. Maybe I should call Mrs. Potts or wait until the other ladies come back” Cassian ran his hand through his hair in distress. Emerie and Balthazar had gone out with Morrigan to visit some possible new business partners — her big circle of connections proving itself to be very useful in helping expand their business — while Azriel and Gwyn had gone to the town, which was helding a small music festival. Georgiana, on the other hand, had received a telegram from a friend who had returned early from their trip abroad, and she had promptly gone to meet them.

“This, dear brother, is your chance to speak to Miss Nesta” she had said before leaving “I do not know what happened to make you both so distant, but you better make amends. I already asked Emerie to design the gown I shall wear at your wedding.”

Cassian had told Georgie to mind her own business and stop being such a busybody, proceeding to stand guard outside the parlor.

“Leave the lord alone” Cogsworth hissed, elbowing Lumiére “Her ladyship has not asked for help so it must mean she is fine and does not wish to be bothered.”

“Nonsense, old friend!! The lady is simply too shy to ask for it and the lord too polite to risk disturbing her” taking a step forward, Lumière knocked on the door.

“What do you think you are doing?!” the major-domo whisper yelled, and Cassian was sure he would have throttled Lumière were it not for the faint voice coming from the other side.

“Please, do come in” Nesta said.

Taking a deep breath, Cassian opened the door, leaving behind Cogsworth and Lumière, who were trying very hard not to start a duel right there.

The first thing he looked for was Nesta.

Nesta, who was rather pale and was clutching a pillow very hard against her stomach.

“Are you alright?” he asked, not knowing whether to sit beside her or just stay standing a few feet away.

“I am” she said, although the deep breath she took had him thinking it was not true “Where are Gwyn and Emerie?”

“Gwyn went to the town festival with Azriel. An Emerie went with Mor and Balthazar to meet prospective business partners.”

“Are you really alright Nesta?” he asked again “You do not seem fine at all if I may say.”

“I assure you I am perfectly fine” Nesta insisted through clenched teeth “Where is Georgiana?”

“At a friend’s house. They returned early from a trip.” Cassian said, a bit annoyed she was asking for his sister when he was right there. It was a stupid jealous feeling, and he was not even more annoyed because he felt glad they got on so well.

“Do you know when any of them will be back?”

“I am afraid I do not know” daring to approach her, Cassian sat beside her on the sofa “But I am here. If there is anything I could do…”

“There is no need to bother yourself. I truly am—”

And that was when Nesta whimpered and clutched her pillow even tighter, doubling over a little bit.

“You are definitely far from fine sweetheart” Cassian said, rubbing her back in hopes of helping her, nevermind proper etiquette.

“It is really nothing. Just—”

“Just what?”

“Lady stuff!!” Nesta finally said, her whole face heating up like a fireplace.

“Oh. Oh! I see. I— I understand” he said, also a little bit flustered “Not that I actually get it but I have also experienced pain and—”

Nesta wished the ground would open up and swallow her. She was used to getting her period, it was a monthly occurrence. Nothing out of the ordinary. However, this time it seemed her body had decided to punish her more than usual. Not only had she gotten a killer headache — made worse by her hangover —  but she was cramping very badly, and they usually were not that bad. That was why she had gone to that walk with Georgiana, even though she was getting mildly uncomfortable soon after they arrived at the garden.

Not that she did not want to miss any Cassian time.

Him going with them had been a bonus.

A surprise, but not a pleasant one.

Maybe just a bit pleasant if she was being honest. Just a tiny tiny bit.

“I will stop talking now” Cassian mumbled, interrupting not for the first time her errant thoughts.

She wanted to die. To tell Cassian — even indirectly —  that she had gotten her period was the most mortifying she had ever experienced.

“I can get Mrs. Potts for you” he tentatively said, restarting the back rubs “She can get you some tea for pain. Or a bag of warm water. You can tell her anything, do not worry.”

Nesta managed to nod her head in agreement, despite her stubborn side that refused to ask for help from the maids or other servants at Pemberley.

Cassian himself went looking for the head maid instead of just ringing for her, assuring her he would be back in less than ten minutes. And he did come back in record time with Mrs. Potts, who gave her tea and pain tonic that she assured Nesta made wonders for stopping cramps. All the while Cassian hovered over Mrs. Potts, unsure of what to do.

“Do you require anything else? Maybe another blanket?” he asked after Mrs. Potts had left. He had made sure to bring back a blanket too and had even tucked her in with extra care “Or more tea? I can ask someone to come and bring fresh hot tea”

Nesta would never have imagined Cassian to be such an overbearing mother hen. He was being extra careful around her and it annoyed her beyond reason.

“Cassian, this happens every month. Has been happening since I was thirteen, alright? Can you please stop?” she snapped.

She regretted her words as soon as she realised how rude she had been and what exactly she had said. However, he was being so overweening. As if she was made of glass or was on her deathbed.

Yet all Cassian did was crack a smile and nudge a chocolate muffin towards her. Nesta had been in such pain and so quiet he had been concerned if Mrs. Potts’ pain tonic would really work. But there she was.

There was the feisty, sharp tongued and quick-witted Nesta he knew.

There was the Nesta he fell in love with.

He barely held his tongue back and risked blutering his feelings right in front of her. Again.

“May I get you a book then? It is a good way to pass the time until your friends are back.”

“Thank you. That would be lovely” Nesta gave him a soft smile, her previous embarrassment having died down a little.

He was gone and back in a record time, and Nesta delusioned herself into thinking he had raced to the library because he did not want to leave her for too long.

“I got the book you were not able to finish last night” Cassian said, handing her Sellyn Drake’s latest romance “And I also took the liberty of getting one of my favourites too. In case you finish this one quickly.”

She thanked him again, curious as to what book was his favourite, what made her even eager to finish her current read.

Turns out Cassian was a fan of epic poems, a fact that — combined with his admission of having read Sellyn Drake’s romances — once again made Nesta view him with new eyes. She had thought he would be more of a war strategy person, all business and serious matters. Yet it seemed that Cassian had a dreamer inside of him.

“How many times have you read this book?” Nesta asked as she turned a yellowed page. The book was old, but she could see it was very loved given its good condition.

“A lot of times. It was my favourite book as a child, and I could not part with it once I moved out of my childhood home” he gave her a smile “It was also my dear companion during long expeditions. I have most of it memorized.”

“I bet you charmed every single lady during your travels with your knowledge, wooing them with beautiful words” she teased, despite the small pang of jealousy in her heart.

You refused his hand and humiliated him, she thought, you have no place to feel jealous. Cassian is a wonderful gentleman, it is expected to have women falling left and right for him, not to say him pursuing them.

“You are actually the first person apart from my family who knows that I read poetry” Cassian admitted “And I also have never met someone that made me want to declare a poem to”

Nesta did not know what to say to that. They were bordering dangerous territory, something that seemed to happen more and more frequently.

And Cassian, seated right beside her, was thinking the same thing. He had allowed himself to get closer to him again, something that yesterday he had vowed to avoid, had tried to do that morning. But to see her in pain, uncomfortable and not talking to him hurt more than those moments in which he could see a life with her. Those moments with Nesta were a double edged sword: he craved and loathed them with the same urgency.

He would kill to have even a single moment with her.

He would die if he had even a single moment with her.

Nesta made him want to be selfish.

Made him want to declare poems to her, maybe even attempt to write her one.

At the moment, he could not help but recall a certain verse of the Epic of Gilgamesh:

What could I offer

the queen of love in return, who lacks nothing at all?

Balm for the body? The food and drink of the gods?

I have nothing to give to her who lacks nothing at all.

You are the door through which the cold gets in.

You are the fire that goes out. You are the pitch

that sticks to the hands of the one who carries the bucket.

You are the house that falls down. You are the shoe

that pinches the foot of the wearer. The ill-made wall

that buckles when time has gone by. The leaky

water skin soaking the water skin carrier.

To Cassian, Nesta was the goddess of love. And he was the one who could not offer her a single thing for she lacked nothing.

“Well, I will not disturb your reading any longer” clearing his throat to break the new tense silence between them, Cassian gestured to the book in her hand “But do feel free to make comments while you read, I would very much like to hear your opinions about it.”

And she did just that. Every passage she found interesting, each line that caught her eye and interpretation she had about a certain phrase, she shared them all with Cassian. Somewhere during their conversation that awkward tension between them disappeared completely, with Cassian letting his arm rest on the back of the couch, getting closer to Nesta. And Nesta somehow ended up getting closer to him too, almost leaning on his side.

It was all very improper. Cassian staying alone with Nesta, so close to each other and acting as a married couple.

But Cassian would let himself be selfish one last time.

One last time before they had to go their separate ways.

~•~

The day would have ended perfectly were it not for the letter that Gwyn brought once she and Azriel had come back.

While Emerie, Balthazar and Mor had arrived late in the evening — with good news of new partnerships being agreed on —  Gwyn and Azriel had come back much later, just when everyone had finished dinner. Nesta had not been too worried, she trusted Azriel to take care of Gwyn and her friend was not bound by the stifling high society etiquette, but she breathed a little easier when they finally arrived.

“Oh Nesta, we passed by the inn we were staying at before and the landlady gave me a letter addressed to you. It seems she had forgotten to send it to us yesterday when our things were brought here.” Gwyn gave her the letter once they had moved to the game room “She apologised deeply for it.”

“I understand, it is a busy season for them.”

“It is a letter from Feyre” Nesta furrowed her brows in confusion as she broke the letter’ seal, which she recognized as being the one representing Feyre’ status as Duchess “She sent one barely a week ago, I wonder what could have happened.”

Nesta had guessed it would be another letter from Feyre asking about how their trip was going, if she had seen beautiful scenarios and bought any souvenir for her youngest sister. Or even a curious inquiry about what she thought of Cassian. Feyre had been quite interested to know if they got along — she had always been a busybody and matchmaker, and since marrying Rhysand had tried time and time again to nonchalantly push her to Cassin. If she ever discovered that Nesta had already been proposed by Cassian — and that she had refused his hand — chaos would befall upon Nesta.

However, as her eyes scanned the lines, Nesta’s assumptions of its contents proved to be far away from reality. She felt her blood run cold, her heart stop beating and fear. So much fear.

“Excuse me” she managed to say, getting up “I need a moment.”

“Nesta, are you alright? What did Feyre say? You are very pale” Gwyn said, her voice full of worry.

“I am fine. Just cramps” she brushed off her friend’s worries. She did not want to make the others notice that something was off with her, she did not want to alarm Gwyn..

Yet as she exited the room she failed to perceive that Cassian had been paying attention to her ever since Gwyn gave her the letter. He was always paying attention to his surroundings, especially when she was around.

He left the room a few moments after her, trying not to raise suspicion to his attitude. He did not know where she had gone — Pemberley was vast and her room was too far away for him to not have caught her faster — but something led him to the small outdoor patio just left from the small gallery he had at Pemberley.

As he got closer and closer there, he heard the sound of someone crying, which made his heart beat faster and a deep fear grow inside him.

He arrived outside to find an unimaginable scene: Nesta crying. Crying as if her heart had been ripped out of her chest.

She was a mess, her careful braided hair coming undone, as if she had ran her hands through it in desperation.

“Nesta… Nes dear, what happened? Is Feyre alright?” Cassian did not care that she most probably left the room to cry in private. He was worried, he needed to be beside her, he needed to help her somehow.

“I— Feyre she—” she was sobbing so hard she could barely breathe, let alone talk, making Cassian’s heart break in a thousand pieces.

“Shh it’s okay sweetheart. I am here Nes” he gently cupped her face, making her look at him “Take deep breaths with me.”

He took a deep breath, holding it in for three seconds before letting it go. He kept doing it until Nesta did the same, slowly calming down.

“Can you talk now? Do you want me to fetch you some water?” Cassian asked, tenderly brushing off her remaining tears.

“No, I— I can talk now” Nesta took another breath “Feyre is alright. It is Elain.”

“Elain? Is she sick? Talk to me Nes, help me understand”

Elain was the picture of the perfect lady in high society. With her numerous suitors, lovely and delicate behaviour — not to mention her singular beauty — it was hard to find someone who did not like her. Given that her hobbies — cooking and gardening — did not pose a threat to her health and well being, Cassian could not understand what would have made Nesta react so strongly. Perhaps Elain had fallen ill, something that rarely happened.

“No. She is not sick” Nesta shook her head “Cauldron, I almost wished she was sick.”

“Elain was…. Elain was kidnapped” she added, her eyes filling with tears again.

“Kidnapped? How?”

That made no sense, who would kidnap Elain? And why?

“She was going to visit Feyre. And when she didn't show up Rhysand went to search for her and—” Nesta started to cry, desperation filling her voice “They found her carriage turned over and hidden near the outskirts of the city. No sign of her at all.”

Cassian was speechless. He could only imagine how Feyre must be feeling after she got the news and hoped Rhysand was doing his everything to help find Elain.

“The coachman was killed and her lady in waiting was rushed to the hospital.” she cried even harder “This is all my fault. I should never have left her. We have no male relatives and Feyre is living too far from our childhood home. I was supposed to take care of her.”

“Nesta, it is not your fault. You could never have guessed something like this could happen.” he looked deep in her eyes, the blue in them even brighter because of her tears “Is there anything I could do to help?”

“I am afraid there isn’t, '' she whispered “I have to go back home. Try to hire an investigator, talk to Feyre and hope Elain is not disgraced by society rumors. Hope she is alive”

Cassian could only nod in agreement and wait for Nesta to recompose herself before they went back inside. Their friends were as horrified and worried about the situation as he and Nesta, and decided to go back right that moment. The staff noticed something was amiss and made sure to ready the carriage in record time.

“Thank you for welcoming you at your home” Nesta said, her complexion a bit better “I can assure you we all had a wonderful time here.”

“It was my pleasure. Have a safe travel and remember that Pemberey is open to you and your friends whenever you want to visit” Cassian helped Nesta get on her carriage one last time, letting go of her hand begrudgingly.

And as Nesta and her friends got farther and farther from Pemberley, as Nesta got farther and farther away from him and took his heart with her, Cassian felt a calm fury settle inside him.

He had some letters to write to some old friends.

•

Tag list: @sayosdreams @thewayshedreamed @sjm-things @perseusannabeth @arinbelle @caotica-e-quieta @vidalinav @swankii-art-teacher @ireallyshouldsleeprn @duskandstarlight @d0riansgray @thegoddessaltenia @dayanna-hatter @verypaleninja @awesomelena555 @courtofjurdan @valkyriewarriors @moe8 @illyrianwitchling13 @silvernesta @bri-loves-sunflowers @queenestarcheron @imwritingthesewords @vasudharaghavan @rainbowcheetah512 @darkshadowqueensrule @letstakethedawn @starlightorstarfire @city-of-fae @thalia-2-rose @nestaarcher0n @rowaelinismyotp @julemmaes @dontgetsalmonella @cardansgreenbriars @lysandra-tiara @inardour @hikari274 @fatimafares123 @angelina-figjam @castielspelvis @lanyjoy-13 @18moneytoad @booksstorm @terrible-and-proud @illyrianundercover​ @ladygabrielli1997 @loosingdreams @live-the-fangirl-life @moodymelanist

{Please let me know if you’d like to be added to my Fixed Tag list}

Reblogs are always welcomed!!

[mermaidsirennikita]

If you’re still up for some more rankings, can you rank Sarah MacLean’s heroines?

Sure!

Penelope Marbury, A Rogue By Any Other Name. I just kind of love that she's a bit quiet and not necessarily nerdy but resigned to spinsterhood, and she goes on this journey of self discovery and gives as good as she gets with Bourne. I kind of love a genteel lady who's lowkey a badass, it's a thing for me.

Grace Condry, Daring and the Duke. Grace is just such a badass. A madam, a fighter, a woman who truly has a man on his knees for her literally and figuratively. She's also like, full of pain? Grace has a lot of traits you often see in heroes, which I love.

Seraphina Bevingstoke, Day of the Duchess. Again, I love a wounded heroine, and Seraphine is probably the most wounded of MacLean's heroines? She has a very tender heart but has forced it to harden to protect herself, and I love that.

Pippa Marbury, One Good Earl Deserves a Lover. Pippa is so cute! She's intellectual and curious and precocious and kind of blunt, and I enjoy the way she continuously bowls Cross over. Such a great heroine.

Callie Hartwell, Nine Rules to Break When Romancing A Rake. I love Callie. I love that she's a bit insecure without being self-pitying, a wallflower without being a wilting flower. She's such great fat rep, she means a lot to me.

Juliana Fiori, Eleven Scandals to Start to Win a Duke's Heart. Oh Juliana! Such a classic spitfire heroine, driving Simon insane and turning him on at every moment. Her Italian-ness got a little.... much at points lmao, don't know if I QUITE!!! Believed it, but I love her.

Adelaide Frampton, Heartbreaker. What a fun heroine. Quiet without being meek, fading into the background without being boring. I love that she was a thief, and I kind of love that she was strong but a bit sexually submissive at times? Fabulous.

Lillian Hargrove, A Scot in the Dark. She had me at "posed nude for a painting and made a Huge Mistake". I loved her sexual boldness, and how relatively shameless she was.

Mara Lowe, No Good Duke Goes Unpunished. I love Mara! A lot of people hate Mara because she's actually a flawed and at times selfish heroine, but I don't know. That's why I enjoy her.

Hattie Sedley, Brazen and the Beast. Another classic archetype--the heroine who wants to get out there and experience the world YESTERDAY. Hattie was so much fun, and she holds a special place as one of the only HR heroines who's like, actually portrayed by a plus size model, lol.

Sophie Talbot, The Rogue Not Taken. Sophie is a very good heroine, and I know she's popular, but to me she is a type that MacLean does often and I think other heroines do it better.

Georgiana, Never Judge a Lady by Her Cover. I love that Georgiana got her happy ending! I also enjoy her having like, triple lives as a sexpot and a club owner and a single mom. What a multi-tasker.

13. Sesily Talbot, Bombshell. Realizing I probably forgot to categorize Caleb when ranking the heroes.... Well, he was ranked lower lol. Sesily is a fun heroine, but I can't say that I necessarily am super into the SEXILY thing she had going on. I have nothing against it, but I didn't connect with it in the book.

Felicity Faircloth, Wicked and the Wallflower. Nice, but didn't make a huge impression on me.

Isabel Townsend, Ten Ways to be Adored When Landing A Lord. See above.

[promenadewithme]

First of all, I want to thank all of you so much for the follows, likes, comments, reblogs and support in general! I can't believe I hit 50 followers so soon! I know it’s not much, but I actually didn’t expect any at all so I’m so happy!! Thank you ❤️

Now, this is how the celebration is going to work: first you chose a song and a character. Then send it to my requests with your pronoun of choice, along with any other specifications and I'll write you a fic based on the song! You can either send the song or specific quotes as prompts

To find the fics I will write, use the #Anastasia's 50 followers celebration

This event starts today (May 20th) and ends June 10th

Support Me on Ko-Fi - if you’re feeling generous 💕

Songs:

Fluff (Romantic)

Paper Rings - Taylor Swift

London Boy - Taylor Swift

Love Story - Taylor Swift

Lover - Taylor Swift

King of My Heart - Taylor Swift

Willow - Taylor Swift

Crazier - Taylor Swift

New Year’s Day - Taylor Swift

Daylight - Taylor Swift

Jump Then Fall - Taylor Swift

How You Get The Girl - Taylor Swift

You Are In Love - Taylor Swift

It’s Nice To Have A Friend - Taylor Swift

Today Was A Fairytale - Taylor Swift

State Of Grace - Taylor Swift

Mine - Taylor Swift

Delicate - Taylor Swift

Say You Won't Let Go - James Arthur

Naked - James Arthur

Rewrite The Stars - James Arthur + Anne-Marie

I Won't Give Up - Jason Mraz

I'm Yours - Jason Mraz

Thinking Out Loud - Ed Sheeran

Tenerife Sea - Ed Sheeran

How Would You Feel (Paean) - Ed Sheeran

Kiss Me - Ed Sheeran

Afterglow - Ed Sheeran

Lego House - Ed Sheeran

Dive - Ed Sheeran

Galway Girl - Ed Sheeran

Everything Has Changed - Ed Sheeran + Taylor Swift

I Was Made For Loving You - Tori Kelly + Ed Sheeran

Make You Feel My Love -Adele

One Call Away - Charlie Puth

Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

Just The Way You Are - Bruno Mars

Count On Me - Bruno Mars

Little Things - One Direction

Night Changes - One Direction

Can't Help Falling In Love - Elvis Presley

Andante, Andante - ABBA

Waterloo - ABBA

All Of Me - John Legend

Ocean Eyes - Billie Eilish

Snowman - Sia

A Thousand Years - Christina Perri

Arms - Christina Perri

Teenage Dream - Katy Perry

Halo - Beyoncé

The Only Exception - Paramore

Dandelions - Ruth B

Someone To You - BANNERS

Would You Be So Kind - Dodie

Someone You Like - The Girl and The Dreamcatcher

If I Could Tell Her - Ben Platt 

Absolutely Smitten - Dodie

How Long Will I Love - Ellie Goulding

Angst (Romantic)

Good 4 u - Olivia Rodrigo

Drivers License - Olivia Rodrigo

Deja Vu - Olivia Rodrigo

Brutal - Olivia Rodrigo

Traitor - Olivia Rodrigo

Enough For You - Olivia Rodrigo

1 step forward, 3 steps back - Olivia Rodrigo

Happier - Olivia Rodrigo

Jealousy, Jealousy- Olivia Rodrigo

Favourite Crime - Olivia Rodrigo

Hope Ur Ok - Olivia Rodrigo

Betty - Taylor Swift

Exile - Taylor Swift

Teardrops On My Guitar - Taylor Swift

Wildest Dreams - Taylor Swift

Tolerate It - Taylor Swift

You’re Not Sorry - Taylor Swift

Should’ve Said No - Taylor Swift

White Horse - Taylor Swift

You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift

My Tears Ricochet - Taylor Swift

Back to December - Taylor Swift

Breathe - Taylor Swift

The 1 - Taylor Swift

All Too Well - Taylor Swift

Invisible String - Taylor Swift

Evermore - Taylor Swift

Lose You To Love Me - Selena Gomez

The Heart Wants What It Wants - Selena Gomez

When I Was Your Man -Bruno Mars

Someone Like You - Adele

Hello - Adele

All I Ask - Adele

Let Her Go - Passenger

Say Something - A Great Big World

Stay With Me - Sam Smith

California King Bed - Rihanna

Take a Bow - Rihanna

Broken Hearted Girl - Beyoncé

Tonight I Wanna Cry - Keith Urban

The Winner Takes It All - ABBA

SOS - ABBA

One Of Us - ABBA

Half a Heart - One Direction

Yesterday - The Beatles

If The World Was Ending - Julia Michaels

Colors - Halsey

Happier - Ed Sheeran

One Last Time - Ariana Grande

Why’d You Only Call Me When You High - Artic Monkeys

Play Date - Melanie Martinez

Just a Friend to You - Meghan Trainor

All I Want - Kodaline

Love You From A Distance - Ashley Kutcher

Potential Breakup Song - Aly & AJ

I Don’t Wanna See You With Her - Maria Mena

Let Her Go - Passenger

All My Tears - Ane Brun

Always On My Mind - Elvis Presley

Someone to you - Lewis Capaldi 

Before You Go - Lewis Capaldi

Others

Sit Still, Look Pretty - Daya

How To Be A Heartbreaker - MARINA

No Body, No Crime - Taylor Swift

Look What You Made Me Do - Taylor Swift

Blank Space - Taylor Swift

You Need To Calm Down - Taylor Swift

Getaway Car -Taylor Swift

Gorgeous - Taylor Swift

Bad Blood - Taylor Swift

The Man - Taylor Swift

22 - Taylor Swift

Dorothea - Taylor Swift

Marjorie - Taylor Swift

The Best Day - Taylor Swift

Mirrorball - Taylor Swift

I Forgot That You Existed - Taylor Swift

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things - Taylor Swift

The Lakes - Taylor Swift

The Last Great American Dynasty - Taylor Swift

Since U Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson

When I Kissed The Teacher - ABBA

I Have A Dream - ABBA

I've Been Waiting For You - ABBA

You'll Be In My Heart - Phil Collins

Titanium - David Guetta (feat. Sia)

F**ckin' Perfect - P!nk

New Rules - Dua Lipa

IDGAF - Dua Lipa

Bad Guy - Billie Eilish

You Should See Me in A Crown - Billie Eilish

COPYCAT - Billie Eilish

Count On Me - Bruno Mars

Stand By You - Rachel Platten

Firework - Katy Perry

Because You Loved Me - Céline Dion

See You Again - Wiz Khalifa + Charlie Puth

NO - Meghan Trainor

Skyfall - Adele

Gasoline - Halsey

Castle On The Hill - Ed Sheeran

Save Myself - Ed Sheeran

Supermarket Flowers - Ed Sheeran

Small Bump - Ed Sheeran

Growing Up - Macklemore, Ryan Lewis, Ed Sheeran

7 Rings - Ariana Grande

Bad Liar - Selena Gomez

Rare - Selena Gomez

Who Says - Selena Gomez

I Turn To You - Christina Aguilera

Till There Was You - The Beatles

Sweetest Devotion - Adele

ps: sorry, I'm a Swiftie and a Sheerio <3

Characters

Character x fem! or GN! reader (ROMANTIC)

ACOTAR: Rhysand, Cassian, Azriel, Lucien, Helion, Tarquin, kallias and Tamlin.

BRIDGERTON: Anthony Bridgerton, Benedict Bridgerton, Colin Bridgerton and Simon Basset.

GRISHAVERSE: Nikolai, Mal, The Darkling, Kaz, Matthias, Jesper, Wylan and David.

THRONE OF GLASS: Dorian Havilliard and Chaol Westfall.

HARRY POTTER: Harry, Ron, Neville, Draco, George, Fred, Oliver, Cedric, Young Sirius, Young James and Young Remus.

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE: Mr Darcy and Mr Bingley.

MARVEL: Steve, Bucky, Sam, Pietro, Loki, Thor, Peter Parker, Ned, Tony, Bruce, Vision, Clint, T'Challa, Scott Lang, James Rhodes, Peter Quill and Stephen Strange.

THE HUNGER GAMES: Peeta, Gale and Finnick.

GREY'S ANATOMY: Derek Shepherd, Andrew DeLuca, Alex Karev, Jackson Avery, Mark Sloan, George O'Malley, Link, Koracick and Ben Warren.

TEEN WOLF: Scott, Stiles, Derek, Isaac, Liam and Jackson.

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES: Damon, Stefan, Matt, Klaus, Elijah and Kai.

NARNIA: Peter, Edmund and Caspian.

STAR WARS: Anakin, Obi Wan, Kylo, Han, Luke, Poe, Finn and Din Djarin.

Character x platonic!/sis!/bro!/enemy!/daughter!/son!/mentor!/or anything else platonic Reader

ACOTAR: Rhysand, Cassian, Azriel, Feure, Nesta, Elain, Mor, Amren, Nyx, Lucien, Tarquin, Helion, Kallias, Tamlin, Ianthe, Suriel and Bone Carver.

GRISHAVERSE: Nikolai, Mal, Darkling, David, Alina, Bahgra, Zoya, Tamar, Tolya, Apparat, Kaz, Matthias, Jesper, Wylan, Nina, Inej, Tantee Heleen and Pekka Rollins.

THRONE OF GLASS: Dorian, Chaol and Aelin.

BRIDGERTON: Anthony, Benedict, Colin; Daphne, Eloise, Francesca, Gregory, Hyacinth, Lady Violet, Simon, Lady Danbury, Penelope, Lady Portia Featherington, Marina, Sienna, Genevieve, Cressida and Queen Charlotte.

HARRY POTTER: Harry, Ron, Hermione, Neville, Ginny, Luna, Draco, George, Fred, Oliver, Cedric, Cho, Seamus, Fleur, Pansy, Myrtle, Sirius (old or young), James (old or young), Remus (old or young), Lily (old or young), Molly, Arthur, Bill, Percy, Charlie, Xenophilus Lovegood, Snape, Dumbledore, McGonagall, Hagrid, Moody, Flitwick, Umbridge, Bellatrix, Voldemort, Lucius, Narcissa, Peter Pettigrew, Helga Hufflepuff, Salazar Slytherin, Godric Gryffindor, Rowena Ravenclaw, Dobby and Nearly Headless Nick.

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE: Mr Darcy, Georgiana Darcy, Mr Bingley, Caroline Bingley, Elizabeth Bennet, Jane Bennet, Mary Bennet, Lydia Bennet, Catherine Bennet, Charlotte Lucas, Wickam, Mr Collins, Mr Bennet, Mrs Bennet.

MARVEL: Steve, Peggy, Sharon, Natasha, Bucky, Sam, Carol, Monica Rambeau, Pietro, Wanda, Agatha Harkness, Loki, Frigga, Odin, Hela, Thor, Heimdall, Jane Foster, Darcy Lewis, Valkyrie, Peter Parker, Ned, MJ, Tony, Pepper, Morgan, Happy, Howard, Bruce, Vision, Clint, T'Challa, Shuri, Scott, Hope, Hank, Cassie, James Rhodes, Peter Quill, Gamora, Mantis, Nebula, Groot, Rocket, Drax, Stephen Strange, Wong, Nick Fury, Phil Coulson, Maria Hill, Thanos, Ancient One, Red Skull, Ultron, John Walker and Zemo.

THE HUNGER GAMES: Katniss, Peeta, Gale, Finnick, Haymitch, Rue, President Snow, Primrose, Effie, Cinna and Johanna.

GREY'S ANATOMY: Meredith, Derek, Andrew, Alex, Jackson, Mark, Lexie, Cristina, April, Izzie, George, Callie, Owen, Addison, Arizona, Miranda, Amelia, Link, Burke, Teddy, Maggie, Richard, Carina, Ben Warren, Megan Hunt, Ellis Grey, Catherine Avery and Tom Koracick.

TEEN WOLF: Scott, Stiles, Malia, Lydia, Allison, Derek, Isaac, Liam, Jackson, Peter Hale, Chris Argent, Sheriff Stilinski, Kira, Melissa McCall and Noshiko Yukimura.

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES: Damon, Elena, Katherine, Stefan, Caroline, Bonnie, Jenna, Klaus, Elijah, Rebeka, Sheriff Forbes, Kai and Lexi.

NARNIA: Peter, Susan, Edmund, Lucy, Caspian and Aslan.

STAR WARS: Anakin, Padme, Yoda, Jarjar, Obi Wan, Kylo, Rey, Han, Leia, Luke, Poe, Finn and Din Djarin and Grogu.

No pressure tags: @venuswritesfanfic @for-bebbanburg @maggiescarborough @multifandomfix @sweetnspicysimp @lazypeachsoul @magravenwrites

[fantomcomics]

What's Out This Week? 3/2

HAPPY SMARCH COME GET YA BOOKS

Everything Sucks! #1 - Michael Sweater

Noah and Calla are high, hungry, and should probably go outside. Unfortunately, the outside sucks. You can't even get a burger without the whole place almost burning down! Michael Sweater combines 90s animation nostalgia, sitcom antics, and a seasoning of stoner comedy in this new series. Includes stickers and poster!

Follow Me Into The Darkness #1 (of 4) - Damian Connelly

Less than a day until the apocalypse. The darkness guides Yuko and Sebastian to Alaska. There, they will look for a girl who lives hiding in the forest, and who may be the key to prevent the imminent final judgment. Meanwhile, the children of the comet face a new and peculiar threat in Kolosimo's Chinatown.

Jim Henson's The Storyteller: Shapeshifters #1 (of 4) - Andre R Frattino & Nori Retherford

The Ringo Award-winning anthology series returns with four tales of Shapeshifters from around the world! Writer Andre R. Frattino (Simon Says: Nazi Hunter) spins a tale about the Celtic myth of the Children of Lir. Dain, a nefarious, power-hungry user and Li's brother-in-law, plots to steal the throne from Lir and his family by turning Lir's children into swans and ascending the throne himself. Fionna, the oldest, wants only to gain revenge against Dain, in order to continue her quest to help her father secure his fierce and fearsome legacy as a renowned warrior. While Fionna attempts to find a way to break the curse, the swan-children are forced to wander near and far for nearly a thousand years. They endure much hardship and sorrow, but face the curse together... finding solace and strength in one another.

Juniper #1 - Nathan Tomsic, Georgiana Brown & Lorenzo Colangeli

Juniper is the only human girl on the planet of Nerth. Accompanied by her loyal robot pal, she embarks on an adventure to discover what happened to her vanished friend.  She accidentally becomes embroiled in a larger mystery. A malevolent spirit has dark plans for the universe and Juniper's actions have made her a obstacle, an irritation, this evil being plans to eliminate.

Loaded Bible: Blood Of My Blood #1 (of 6) - Tim Seeley, Steve Orlando & Guiseppe Cafano

Decades after the events of the original cult series, Jesus' vampire-hunting clone is a bigger outlaw than ever, and now, he has to face a threat like no other. The church has cut a deal with the vampire nations to unite under their cloned savior - Dracula. A 6-part monthly miniseries starting on Ash Wednesday!

Radio Spaceman: Mission To Numa #1 (of 2) - Mike Mignola & Greg Hinkle

When a ship crashes and lands on a mysterious planet and some of the surviving crew go missing, the mysterious mechanical hero Radio Spaceman is called to investigate. But the planet hides much more than the missing crew, and Radio Spaceman may be stumbling into more than even he can handle. Based on Mignola's viral pencil sketches, Radio Spaceman is a steampunk space adventure full of mystery, monsters, and awesome gadgets. Featuring the amazing art of Greg Hinkle (The Beauty, Black Cloud) and colors by longtime Mignolaverse collaborator Dave Stewart, this new series is perfect for Mignola fans old and new!

Rogue Sun #1 - Ryan Parrott, Abel & Chris O'Halloran

Yesterday: New Orleans' greatest hero, ROGUE SUN, was murdered. Today: rebellious teenager DYLAN SIEGEL discovers that Rogue Sun was his estranged father, Marcus-and that he's inherited his father's mantle. Tasked with protecting our world from the forces of the supernatural-and solving his father's murder-Dylan will be forced to come to terms with the man he's spent the majority of his life hating.

Whatcha snagging this week, Fantomites?

[likesomekindofcheese]

Promised Part Four (The Great Arranged Marriage AU mini-series)

Pairing: Grigor Dymov x fem! Reader

Word Count: 7K

Warnings: swearing, food, dogs, marriage, and mentions of sex and some steamier parts

Summary: When Emperor Peter visited your family, his behavior threatened the peaceful alliance between them and Russia. Now in order to fix it, you are betrothed to marry his best friend, the handsome and heartbroken Grigor. 

Part One --- Part Two -- Part Three

The morning after the wedding there was a sealed letter placed on your mother’s table. She nearly dropped it in nervousness.

Something had happened. Something had already happened. The alliance may even be in danger and so was she. Everything was too new now. The blue bed that you slept on in the other room was now empty. Even little Sonya’s trotting and barking was gone as well. She had to face the morning alone. And you, her daughter, her dear child, was now a married woman.

She ripped it open to read the contents with wide eyes.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Emperor Peter was about to take his morning as usual- sleeping in late. As was typical for a hangover. Peter laid out on his belly like a starfish, still in his clothes. Georgiana smirked as she entered the chambers. She heard him groaning even in his dreams. Already in her dark robes and nothing else on, she knew he would be groaning for different reasons in perhaps an hour. She knew that after a night of celebration Peter would call on her one way or another to cure the headache he had with her kisses. She might as well be ready. There were worse ways to start the day.

Her eyes trailed down to a sealed letter on the table on the other end.  

It was Grigor’s seal.

Before she could stop herself, Georgiana grabbed a small letter opener and cut it open. She read its contents.

It was short. But enough. She put it down, sitting on the chair and taking in a deep breath. Her lovely ivory face turning red. Tears blurring her eyes as she breathed in the message it contained. As she sat down, she let the waves of grief flow out of her, glad that the emperor was too deep asleep to see it.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your brother and his wife were late risers. So, they were confused by the excited knocking on the doors of their salon while the sky was still pink.

The lodgings given to them were surprisingly beautiful. Large, plush beds that were the color of cream, vases full of roses, and purple canopies over their heads as they slept. And all expenses covered. Your brother gently padded his wife’s shoulder as she groaned at the sound.

“I’ll get it…”

“Thank god for this bed…” she nestled into the pillow to fall back asleep. 

Your brother yawned and crawled out.  He smiled and kissed his wife and she smiled before she returned to dreaming. His eyes were crusted with sleep as the door cracked open but shot awake at the sight of your father.

“Wha…what is it?” he asked.

“I have a letter…it’s from Grigor, Y/N’s husband.”

He tilted his head in astonishment.

“Already? Why? What happened?”

“I don’t know yet…I thought we both should find out…” he commented nervously. “’Sides, my eyes are bad. Can’t read a thing on it.”

Your father handed it to him, and your brother read it out loud.

              “To the Y/L/N Family,

Last night under the sight of God, Y/F/N and I consummated our marriage.

The alliance is now completely secure and may nothing hinder it with our union. You may rest assured everything is now safe. Madame Y/L/N and the Emperor know of this as well.

            Your Son-in-law, as of yesterday,

              Grigor Dymov.”

Your father and brother let out a deep breath. Yet there was a knowing look between them. Your brother looked again at the letter.

“And…she’s his! I can hardly believe it…I barely even know the man myself!” your brother said.

“Well, it’s secure…it’s completely secure…our alliance with Russia is safe.”

As your brother returned to bed, worried thoughts entered his head. Grigor had a bit of vodka and was putting you on his lap and kissing you a lot. You looked so so timid with him. Not to mention Peter. If this man was close friends with Peter then that said enough. Your voice was trembling when you said your vows. You would only speak softly. And you only knew Grigor for so long. The moments before you were led to Grigor’s chambers you looked like a lamb led to the slaughter. And he could do nothing about it.

This alliance came at the price of your torture.

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As you put the envelope into the pocked of you gown, you heard a familiar yap.

Sonya trotted over. With her ears down, she wagged her tail and reached up for you on the skirt of your robe as far up as she could.

“Hello love…do you like the place?” you asked.

She placed her paws on your skirt as you gentle petted her head.

“Shhhh, be quiet. Please don’t wake pa…him…” you whispered.

Was Grigor now her papa? It felt odd to call him that yet.

Who knew when he would awaken, so you wandered through your new apartment. It was large- three rooms, all with large red walls. You especially liked the outer receiving room with a large, dark fireplace and a nice little brown table with two chairs. There was a tea set properly placed there. Sunlight was pouring in and you heard the chirps of a few robins. The redness looked less frightening. The bathtub gleamed when there was sunlight against it.

Quietly you placed Sonya into your arms and scratched her fur as you admired a few portraits on the wall of the guest room. Eventually she wiggled hard and freed herself onto the floor, shaking in a flurry and then prancing to sniff the place more.

You scurried back into the bedroom. It felt bad to leave Grigor alone once he awoke the morning after your wedding. Especially when you recalled what he said last night.

I used to wake up in the mornings and hate it…because I would be alone…

You poured yourself a cup of the coffee, relieved that it was still steaming hot. This Liza or Beth or whoever timed her gift right. You sipped on it and let Sonya wander by your feet. Whenever she trotted over to the bed, you would shoo her away. You would scold her for yapping, placing a gentle hand over her mouth and saying firmly “no bark…no bark…”

After a few minutes passed, his eyes opened. He groaned as he woke up. His hand began searching your side of the bed.  

Breathing in quickly, you walked forward on cue.

“Oh…I…I’m sorry…I…” you mumbled.

“Nothing, nothing…did you sleep in? You’re not tired, are you?” he asked groggily.

“I…I woke up a little bit ago…” you answered. “I managed to fall back asleep. I think it’s late morning.”

“That’s good.” He said.

Placing yourself on the edge of the bed, you weren’t sure if you wanted to kiss his forehead or take his hand.  You weren’t sure what quite to do at this stage.

“We have a…a gift for us…someone sent us a tray…”

He got up. You were still unused to the sight of his body now in only a simple shift. You looked at the floor. You saw his breeches were still on the floor abandoned. Noticing a black robe over one of the chairs, you went over and got it.

“Is…is this yours?”

“Yes, it is.”

Fetching it, you returned to his side of the bed. Standing on your toes to reach his tall height, you placed it over his shoulders and he slipped his arms through.

“Th-thank you, you’re very kind, Y/N. What are the pastries like?” he asked.

“I…I haven’t tried any of them yet…” you confessed.

“How come?”

“I…I wanted to wait for you…so we could eat them together…” you admitted.

He grinned as he joined you to try the tray. Pulling up the card, he let out a huff of laughter.

“Huh, already she calls us our aunt.”

“Is she your aunt?”

“No, Peters.”

“Oh.”

He smiled. You smiled back. As he sat down and began to eat a strawberry flavored one you noticed a slightly wicked gleam. You looked back and picked a chocolate pastry, biting into it with embarrassment.

You wondered if the intimate moment you had last night would be brought up. Or rather, how to bring it up. What did lovers, much less married couples say after these things? The thing that was unsaid between the two of you now.

“Oh your cock is pretty large.”

“Thanks for cleaning up the mess between my legs!”

“I thought I would kick your head off by accident last night-sorry! I’ll be on top next time!”

There were people who thought men weren’t men, women weren’t women, and children would stay children until they were bedded. You looked at your bare feet poking out from below. It was still your feet. Your hands were still your hands. And even the face in the mirror on the wall across from you was still your face. You were supposed to be a woman now. But you didn’t feel any different than yesterday.

“Th…thank you, Y/N. I appreciate you waiting for me for the food,” he said.

You nodded. “Of…of course…and…about last night…I…”

The words froze in your throat. You were always raised as more of a proper lady. You were able to control any urges you had for other men. Besides, you didn’t want to risk getting pregnant and the difficulties that would bring. Or die in an attempted abortion. Or get a disease. The world of sex had things you heard about. Whispers or a page or two from books that you would secretly read when your parents backs were turned. But actually, experiencing them was something new. Exciting. Frightening. Unknown.

“I…it was…it was nice…” you said. “You were very nice to me…you are very nice to me…and I…I don’t know anything…”

He smiled genuinely and said “I’m…I’m glad. I’m glad it was nice for you…damn, these are good.” He said, chewing on his bite.

You finished your pastry. Little Sonya raced around the room and perking her head at any new sound she heard of footsteps. It was silent between the two of you as Grigor finished his breakfast. His shift was still open to show a bit of the hairs on his chest and his eyes had the slightly dark quality of an hour too much of sleep than one was used to.

“I was so scared about yesterday, I didn’t sleep much the night before,” you commented.

“Y/N…yesterday was very long. Take it easy today, please. You don’t have to do anything today. You can stay in bed all day even, if you’d like….”

“That…that would be nice. My mother is still here, can she come over and visit?” you asked.

“Yes! And…Can I invite your family over…just on a small hunt in the woods. The Emperor won’t be there because that’s his required hours with Catherine…ah, attempting for an heir.

“Oh.”

“You don’t have to be afraid of him. So we can all be together. We’re all a family now.”

“Yes, that…that sounds nice.”

It was a quiet mid-morning after breakfast was cleared. You were grateful for screens to dress behind and as soon as you were ready, there was a serf saying Grigor was asked for.

“Velementov needs your insight on a statue raised for Peter the Great, at once.”

It was a little lonely after he left. You read the fairy tales by the fire, the palace was large enough and you lacked the energy from yesterday to explore it anymore. And interacting with the other ladies of court scared you from what Catherine warned. You decided you would deal with court on a day you were not tired and aching from preparing a long-awaited wedding. Enjoying the silence and nothingness than fitting for your dress or seeing millions of well-wishers or trying not to let your crown fall off your head.

Looking further at your lodgings, the walls and furniture had matching, co-coordinating fabrics. There was a small throw pillow in a chair right by your bed that was the same color and pattern of the walls. You stroked the little pillow and then the walls, feeling the smoothness and bumps of the decorative flowers.

You rang up for hot water and some soaps. The bath was too intriguing to not try. Besides you felt grimy.

It was large. It took several steaming buckets before it was filled and you were left alone to step into it. The soaps smelled like honey and vanilla. There was steam building up in the room from the warmth of the bath. You noticed a mirror on a vanity was fogging up, as well as an oval shaped area mark on the wall catching some condensation. It was odd. Lightly colored. But there were faint dark marks as if a portrait had been on there for a while.

Shrugging off the observation, you peeked over to the side to see a few jars. Opening the porcelain lids, you saw bath salts and poured them in on an indulgent whim to add more flowery scents. Exhaling deep, your aching feet and limbs thanked you.

The perks of being friends with the Emperor of Russia…

You took the sponge placed next to the salts, giggling as you rubbed the soap on it. The sponge seemed about the size of your head. It covered your arms and legs. You were scrubbing on your body, standing up on in the tub to do so, when Grigor entered suddenly.

With a slight scream, you dipped down into the water quickly.

Splash!

You backed into the corner, your arms covering your breasts and your knees together, pulling away. Retreating into a near corner of the bath, you turned your head towards him. He even looked a little pink himself and could not resist a smug smile. He was not in his wig but was in the dark green court dress perhaps for whatever business he had to take care of.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to join you?” he asked, half-meaning it.

Though he turned away after the quip and covered his eyes with his hand dutifully.

“N-no thank you! I…I’m sorry…I’m just not used…please don’t gape at me!” you begged.

“Y/N! It’s fine.”

He peeked over and you made sure to duck low enough in the tub. Sure enough, it was safe. The edge of the tub, the soapy water and your limbs could cover anything too private. Only your head, with your wet hair clinging to you was visible.

You placed your hands on your face in shame.

“It’s so silly- we’ve already made love, Grigor…but it’s you…and it’s my body I…and I still feel….” You mumbled out timidly.

“Y/N…it’s alright. I’m not used to having a wife bathing in my room! I should have knocked….”

A jealous image jolted in your brain. Maybe Georgiana bathed in this very place. Maybe that was why he said “wife” and not “woman.” Maybe he was out with her. But…he couldn’t. He just couldn’t…would he? You didn’t love him. You liked him. And he was your husband and you were his wife. That was enough.

He keeled to the floor, seeing you at eye level with the bathtub covering what needed to be hidden. Though when you turned your head around. Only your head, with wet hair clinging to your face, and your neck and shoulders were visible.

“I…I’ve visited your mother. She will be staying here for a week and so will the rest of your family. You aren’t a prisoner in here, Y/N. You can have her up or visit her apartments. Even today if you aren’t too tired…we can host a tea or dinner for her if I’m not busy. Whatever you would like to do today.”

A smile crept up on you that matched his. You noticed his ears sticking out childishly like a mouse’s ears.

“That does sound nice…I’d like it if she came over this afternoon,” you replied. “And…your-er-our apartments are very pretty. Comfortable. I don’t feel like I’m in prison at all…”

He placed his hand in the warm water and tested it, his fingers stroking it. You noticed how long and graceful his hands looked, swirling the soap as if it was some magic concoction.

“Did you know I have a couple manors…and more than one vineyard?” he asked.

You shook your head.

“Gifts from Peter to me. If I could perhaps talk to him for a bit…. we would go there. Have a real honeymoon. There’s one near my vineyard in the country in the west. The sunsets are stunning. And the wine’s not bad either. We could watch the sun over a bottle and get away from court for a little while…wouldn’t that be nice?” he offered.

You nodded, “yes, I would love to go there with you.”

“Wonderful. I’ll leave you be.”

He stepped and turned to the next room so you could finish bathing and dress in privacy. Part of you prayed maybe the emperor would listen to sense. If possible. Even one day away in the country drinking wine would be nice. And you could have worse company than Grigor.

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That afternoon, right as you were dressed for company in a simple burgundy dress and invited your mother to have afternoon tea with her in your new home. She was walked in. Running from Grigor’s side, you embraced her as if you had not seen her in a year. In front of the fire there was a third chair and tea and a few sandwiches. Sonya even barked on her arrival and wagged her tail.

It was just like it was two days ago. Almost.

Until a serf brought in Orlo in a bit of a hurry, his wig disheveled, a slab of some sauce possibly thrown across his jacket. His glasses even looked a little dirty and his hair disheveled.

“The emperor requests your presence immediately,” he parroted, looking at Grigor.

He sighed lightly, but bowed to your mother, gave you a kiss on your hand, patted Sonya’s head, and left.

“Y/N…you seem…you seem to like him,” she said.

“If I was going to be sold for everyone’s sake, at least it’s to a decent man,” you commented. “So many others aren’t as lucky.”

She took a sip of her tea. Sonya kept trying to stick her snout into the sandwiches and you shooed her away. Your mother laughed a little at the puppy’s antics. She even hopped up and tried to eye her for a bit of biscuit.

“Y/N, I received word this morning concerning the…you know…” she began.

Your grip on your teacup went cold.

“That the alliance is secured.” You said firmly. “Totally.”

Your stomach squirmed.

“Yes.”

“I did what I had to for all of us. I knew if I didn’t sleep with him soon, then everyone I love would be in danger. Grigor told me. Besides, it was my duty as his wife…it is my duty,” you said.

She leaned over closer, glancing to make sure no one was listening. She then placed two hands on your shoulders.

“Did he…did he force himself on you, as you feared? We’re alone, you can be honest.”

“No, he waited until I said yes.”

Your mother released a breath.

“Thank heavens!”

Setting down your cup, the emotions came pouring out.

“But Mama…that’s just one night! And were bound until death! There’s going to be so many more! It’s all so new and I just…right before it happens, I get so nervous!”

Looking down, you glanced at your stayed-up stomach beneath your dress. It looked normal. But who knows? You could be pregnant this very minute. Were you even ready to be a mother yourself?

“What can you…tell me about it?” she asked.

“I was…I was relaxed after it was over and I…I don’t even know what to think. I get nervous whenever he looks at me. I was bathing when he walked in and it scared me that he could gaze all over me. It just…it unnerves me!” you confessed. “And I already did it! How can that be?”

“Well, now you’re married, we can be more candid about it. I can finally talk about it. I understand being nervous. The first few times your father and I made love…”

“Mama, please!”

“It’s thrilling and scary. You’re just new. Y/N, I’ll have to go back home, so we better make use of this time but… but…you have no reason to be ashamed of it. Or too emboldened yet. It can be a beautiful act. And it can also be an awkward one…. just tell me what it is that tortures you and what you like and let’s see if I can help…”

You smiled and spoke with deep honesty to her. She advised you. Discussing everything. Far more details than the bits and pieces after your betrothal was announced. Although your ears burned with details of your parents you never wanted to think about, you found yourself learning more and more about your body and a bit of his and what happens and what to do.

The discussion was had even long after the sandwiches were finished in crumbs for Sonya to sneak licks of.

“I will be here for a little bit, we can discuss plenty more…you can also write, my dear.”

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It was getting dark. Grigor was still not back yet since tea. You were thankful for the long talk with your mother, but she had been long gone and now you were awaiting his return.

The old man serf walked into the room with a tray of food.

“Monsieur Dymov sends his apologies. The emperor is keeping him long. He asked me to send you this,” he croaked kindly.

Thanking him, you accepted the tray. Dining alone as the night sky sparkled out of your window and the red walls grew from scarlet to garnet with the light’s dimming.

The clock from the hallway ticked with the hour as you wiped your mouth and ate the last bite of potato. Opening a cabinet in your bedroom, you found a familiar nightgown was pressed in there and changed into it.

You were knitting away on your bed as the fire crackled. Sonya sat up with you a while and tried to chew on the yarn and then contented herself with sitting at the edge of the bed sleepily. That scarf you were working on still wasn’t complete. You started the project not long before the Emperor called on your home and now…well, things were different now. It was halfway through though. It would take hours of work, but it was still there. Your fingers were still a little sore from being at the task for a while. It still helped you with your nerves of what your husband would be expecting of you.

The blankets over you were a dark green this time, changed so the dark ones could be cleaned. Sonya curled into a ball like a little brown decoration on the bed.

You reached for the brush on top of the chest next to you, placed away the scarf, and began to work on brushing your own hair when you heard footsteps and a few grunts. And it was none of the servants.

Part of you fretted it would be Peter. If you were alone with him who knew what would happen. But you saw Grigor walk inside. He had a white shirt that was open and darker pants with boots.

“I’m here! It too forever-we played tennis for hours! You can’t believe how many noses we could hit on the portraits!” he reported cheerily.

Taking off his boots. Sonya got up and greeted him. He bent down and began stroking her fur. It seemed comical to see such a large man with a squeaking puppy the size of his neck.

“Tennis? No meetings of state?” you asked.

“Not when he wants to complain! He was completely hungover, too. It was almost pitiful.” He added with a spark in his eye. Grinning, you recalled why he was hungover.

“Any vomiting with the tennis?”

“Had a bucket on the corner- poor fellow!”

You laughed a little bit at the image.

Though to your mixed delight and horror, he took off his shirt, pants, and breeches, climbing naked into bed. As beautiful and toned he was, you never slept next to any naked person. Much less a man. Keeping your eyes on only his face, you froze. Then you ducked to look at your hands. On one hand, this was your husband. Your anxieties wondered if any…part of him would awkwardly brush against you in the midst of sleep.

The bed shifted as he lifted the blanket and sat next to you.

“Yes, none at all, Y/N! Why I…oh…oh I….I’m sorry,” he apologized noticing your embarrassed face.

“It’s…it’s fine. I remembered you liked sleeping naked I’lll….I’ll just try to get used to it…”

“Let me…let me put on my breeches.”

He rushed out to shimmy it back on and then hopped back. Exhaling deep, you continued brushing a stubborn tangle in your hair. It till hadn’t recovered from the thousands of pins of yesterday. He paused, looking at you. You had sat up, holding your comb now with both hands and clutching it on your lap.

As you returned to brushing, he laid down on the pillow, watching you gently.

“What is it?”

He took a strand in his hand gently, playing with a wisp of your hair.

“Your hair is lovely. That’s a sight I could get used to- to see you just sit there and brush it.”

You bit your lip.

“Th-thank you, Grigor.”

As soon as you did, you pulled a strand away, revealing part of your neck. He went over to lean closer. You couldn’t help but stare at how attractive the hair on his chest made him. But your palms got sweaty and your heart was racing.

“Do…do you want to…I…” you felt yourself mumbling over as the sensation took over.

“Want to what?” he asked. “What’s wrong, Y/N?” he asked.

“It’s just….I’m…nothing’s wrong!” you insisted. 

You looked up at him with a little sigh.

“You must think I’m a nun, Grigor. I just…I know it’s my duty to…to please you…” you confessed, looking down at your shift, fingers clutched as if ready to pull it up and have it over with.

Besides, wasn’t it true that men were always rabbits in heat? And their wives were bound to lie down and let them at it?

“I…it doesn’t matter what I want, what do you want?” he said.

“You mean…I don’t have to make love to you tonight if I don’t want to?” you questioned, blinking.

“It’s simple as that…” he said with a shrug.

He took both of your hands, gently rubbing his thumb over yours.

“Remember yesterday? I promised you that you have my protection. You’ll always be safe with me, Y/N. Not just with last night. Nothing has to happen if you don’t want it to.”

“Well, I…I’m really tired after yesterday and I…I just want to sleep…”

“May I at least kiss you goodnight?”

“Yes…”

You placed your hands on his face to guide yours and he kissed you sweetly. You could taste his dinner, but you didn’t mind. Though once you let go, he trailed a kiss down to your neck and you felt yourself let out a sound at it. It tickled a little and your stomach was churning again at the feeling of his lips there.

“Grigor…”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you…thank you for the tray…I was hungry.”

“Thank you for being patient. He is my ruler, but you are my wife. We can have dinner tomorrow.”

“Alright, I command it,” you joked.

He leaned forward and kissed you chastely with a smile, cupping your face. You smiled into it and when you pulled away, you found you had held your breath during it.

“Alright, Y/N…good night.”

Blowing out the candles, your room was submerged in darkness.

But you fell asleep lying across from each other. Close enough to feel each other’s breath. And without being very aware of it, your hand wandered to his and held it right as you drifted away. But it was nice to feel him next to you and feel him nuzzle at you. Soon your exhaustion won, and you were asleep.

At one point when you woke up in the middle of the night and saw the outline of his bare chest rising and falling slowly.  You nestled closer and placed your head on it, not minding the feeling of his body. His arm reached around for you. Accepting it, you fell back asleep.

The next afternoon was cool and the trees were orange and autumnal. You recognized the rest of your family in a party outside the palace. Everyone had their warmest coats and cornered hats. A couple of wigged serfs carried small brown bags right by their heels.

Grigor and you walked out to the start of the woods in outdoor coats and hats topped on your heads. You rushed over to embrace them at once. They called “Y/N! Hello,” and gave multiple hugs of greeting as Grigor stood aside to let you have a moment.

Though you noticed your brother frowned when he saw your husband. Giving him only a bob of his head.

As your family headed off where the palace ended and the woods began, you felt Grigor brush by you. You shook off a few leaves that fell on your dark blue skirt.

“Is it…is it safe?” you ask.

“I know every pathway. There are gardens and little buildings here and there. I’ve played here since I was a child-It’s more than safe.”

“I must confess I haven’t explored much on my own. The gardens are still confusing to me.  I can’t imagine what the forest will be like…”

An idea struck you and you paused. In the distance you heard a few doves cooing in a tree in front of you.

“Do you think…” you began.

“Think what?”

“Maybe in the mornings, or the late afternoon, when Peter hasn’t called you, we can see more of the gardens and the palace. Even the woods. I’ll bring Sonya on a leash. We can all walk. Together,” you suggested.

He gave you a crinkled smile. Leaning forward so that his grey wig shifted to the side from his head.

“That…that’s a grand idea Y/N,” he replied. “So help me, you aren’t getting lost.”

Picking up your pace, you both caught up with the party. There were bits of conversation to catch up that felt like older times. And you were grateful for the lack of a certain brash emperor to stir feathers. The only feathers that would be stirring were that of the birds spotted in trees. Easy targets. The men reached for the guns near their thighs and began shooting.

Your father was surprisingly excited about it. He managed to get a small robin, and everyone clapped. Grigor was impressive but was better at brighter colored birds than something duller. The servants ran after the birds and stuffed them into the bags.

After some time of fetching, walking beneath crunching leaves, and some relaxed, light conversation concerning your friends back home, there was a yelp from your brother.

“Look there! A big one!” he cried.

You turned your head to look for this mighty bird. It was a crow, cawing in mockery above. Your father reaching up to aim.

“Arh! My blasted eyes! I can hardly see it!” he cursed, moving slowly as the bird hopped between trees.

You followed with your mother and sister-in-law, chin up to where the large back bird was headed. And then you heard a gruff sound behind you.

Urf!

Two figures were missing from the others chasing after the bird. Turning around, you could make out some angry whispers. Walking closer, you looked and saw where. Your brother had somehow grabbed Grigor by the collar and pinned him against a tree with his pistol. His nostrils were flaring and his eyes almost red with rage as he spat onto his face.

“I know you did, you bastard! Secured alliance my arse-you deserve to have your head chopped off!”

“What do you mean?” Grigor insisted, eyes large and his face white.

“You deranged pervert! My sister is one of the best women I know, and you torture her like that!”

“I’ve done nothing!”

“You’re a scoundrel among men! And I don’t know what is stopping me from the pleasure of blowing your brains out!” your brother hissed.

Heart leaping, you did not doubt he would pull the trigger on him.

“I know how you Russians are- And everyone knows how happy Catherine is with her husband, how will you be any better with Y/N! Much less, what you did to her!”

You cry out your brother’s name and he turned to see you. Picking up your skirts, you run in between them, placing yourself in front of Grigor. Your arms reach out to shield him. You feel his breath huffing quickly in nervousness and so does yours.

“Stop it! What did you think happened?”

“Y/N, we got a letter bragging about how he forced himself on you and expects us to congratulate him! I won’t stand for any man who treats you-“

“He did not rape me the other night, I consented!” you interrupted.

A few hairs flew free from your hat. You felt your hands ball into fists. Again your own privacy concerning your body was being tossed around and displayed publicly.

“What?”

“I consented to consummate the marriage. Grigor never forced himself on me. And he promised he would. I know you’re protecting me, but I won’t you let hurt him- stop being ridiculous!”

Glancing back, Grigor’s eyes were the size of robin’s eggs. His jaw was slack and he was frozen in place, but his posture softened from your protection.

“Sir…may I add, is this the way you thank your patron?” he asked.

Your brother blinked. His hand holding the gun relaxed in mid-air.

“P-patron?” he asked.

“Do you know who covered the fees for your travels? The bill for the hotel?”

“It…it was a gift. Anonymous. I thought it was from our tenets or from the Russian court so we could…” your brother responded.

“It was from the Russian court. Because I fucking sent it. I begged Peter to let you come to the wedding and be with Y/N the day we departed for Russia. I had to nag him every day for weeks and weeks. Can you imagine nagging your damn sovereign?! But he finally agreed. I paid every penny just to have you be taken here and have a roof over your head the whole time! It’s because of me you aren’t away at your home wondering if you’d even see her again!” he said in frustration.

It was your turn to drop your jaw and turn your head around.

“You…you did that? But…why anonymous!” he asked

“It was in case Peter fucking disagreed! And he would have if I didn’t spend out of my own damn pocket! If it were that, I would have sent Y/N to the hotel to see all of you.” Grigor explained.

Your brother was aghast, and you blinked in surprise.

“Why? Why all this…for me? For us?” you blurted.

“I didn’t want bad blood with my in-laws! And Y/N your face- the look you had when our carriage was pulling away after the contract was signed…it haunted me. How scared, and miserable you seemed…I had to do something about it. I was practically stealing you away from everyone you’ve loved and known…I thought it would at least make you happy. It would make everyone happy. So, I did it.”

He nodded, looking down at you with his anger flushed out and his features softening.

Ears burning, you nearly clutched his hand as you processed what he did. Your brother sheathed his pistol. 

“Forgive me…. she’s my sister and I…I was scared that I failed to protect her…” he apologized.

You soon heard footsteps and the others following suit. You felt Grigor’s gloved hand clutching yours as you both walked up, your brother in front of them.

“Why, what is it?” your sister in law asked, arms akimbo as she reached him. “We’ve been looking for you for a while!”

“I…uh, saw a rabbit and we raced to catch it, honey…” your brother answered with a quiver in his lip.

She rolled her eyes but got his arm anyway.

“Well, at least you’re safe. I thought we heard a bit of fighting,” she added, kissing his forehead.

Looking up, you felt Grigor walk forward, suggesting.

“Sir… join me after dinner, I have a bottle from Kiev. Let’s crack it open and enjoy a little mano e mano chat…we only need to know each other better. Is that good?”

“Yes that…that’s good,” your brother nodded, allowing his wife to loop her arm around his and lead him away.

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There must have been a little magic stored in that bottle. You sensed that after dinner you should leave them alone for them to drink and talk it out, especially since guns would not be involved. Though you could not help but place your ear outside the door that led to your apartment.

Though as you sat outside the hall, listening through as Sonya panted in your arms, you heard a clearing of a throat. Turning, you saw Mariol holding a book.

“The Empress asked wanted me to know, have you ever read Rousseau?” she asked sharply.

“No, I haven’t.”

“Then she wanted to give you this as a late wedding present. And for me to say that you’re free to visit her to talk about it. Count yourself lucky she likes you,” she added honestly.

Biting your lip, you thanked Mariol and accepted the thin book bound in red. Sonya sniffed at it in your other arm.

As much as you wanted to glance through the pages, you heard ridiculous laughs from your brother. Chuckling as Grigor chatted about a whistle that could summon an army of ducks from the back yard. But it was your brother’s silly, relaxed, happy laughter. The one of the happy boy you grew up with and not the man who almost killed your husband hours ago.

Poking in your head at the crack of the door shyly, you saw that they were enjoying a roasting fire next to them. Heads turned to acknowledge you. You shied away at first, but Grigor gestured you over.

“Ah! My darling Y/N…. come join us, please!”

“Isn’t this a man conversation?” you asked teasingly.

“I can make an exception!” he said, sipping his vodka.

Grinning you obliged, setting down the dog to be at your side and putting the book away. You allowed your husband to lean against you and clutch your hand. The sensation made you nearly feel a little dizzy. Even greeting him with a kiss on the cheek as a thanks for your cup of Kiev vodka. And your brother’s eyes didn’t redden this time. In fact, he gave you a toothy grin like the kind you shared when you ate sweets as children. When he fell asleep that night, you found yourself happy to see him smiling but secretly a touch disappointed. And you knew why.

That next night you waited for him to return from Peter’s request to dine and play who knows what games. Your heart was beating fast as you gave your hair a quick brush through, just as he liked it. Admiring the green laid on the walls in contrast to the red, you heard him mutter something to his servant. But you kept thinking of him- how he kept you safe on that night, how he shared the vodka with you, and the personal sacrifices he made to bring your family to you for the wedding. That and the image of his bare chest rising and falling in the middle of the night made you suddenly burn and ache for him when he left. And you wanted to do something about it.

There was the orange glow of the candles and the rest was taken care of by the night sky.

“Y/N? Y/N, where are…”

You wore your green robe and sat down on the bed at the end. Grigor walked into the room and then froze. Beneath your robe there was nothing else and he noticed.

“Hello, I’m here…”

“Hello…” he greeted. His pupils growing wide.

“I…I want to be yours tonight…if you’ll have me…And I’m just as nervous, but I want you too much for that…”

You walked up in front of him and touched his face gently.

“You…you want me? Do you want me?” he asked, almost in confusion.

“I want you. Now take me, husband,” you said.

He was on you in a heartbeat, his hands undid the knot holding your robe together. And though a jolt of nerves shot through you, you buried yourself in kissing him back too much to focus on it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was a peaceful week following. Dinners, teas, and visits. Drinks between you, your brother, and Grigor as the alcohol burned your throat and the fire toasted your sides. Numerous visits and talks. And nights where you slowly got more comfortable with yourself and Grigor and connecting through your bodies and not being ashamed of it.

In a blink of an eye, it was a week done. And your mother’s apartment was filled with her luggage.

The other three met you and Grigor in front of the palace as their carriage together trotted up. You embraced your father and mother constantly. You felt yourself cry when at the sound of the hoofbeats. Your father kissed your forehead, “my darling girl, I’ll miss you so much.”

Your mother gave you an extra hug and said “your father and I will always love you, no matter what.”

Your sister-in-law made promises to write and you swore to include details of whatever mischief little Sonya got into with an attempted sketch.

While Grigor shook the hands of each of them he paused before your brother. Hesitantly.

“I didn’t know you well…I hope you will forgive me,” your brother confessed. “I shouldn’t have acted the way I did…I love my sister and I was worried for her safety, her happiness.”

“I promise you- your sister will want for nothing under my care.”

“Even if the Emperor…?”

Both of you froze. You seemed to have overlooked it. But your brother’s gaze was serious.

“He’s my friend, she’ll be safe even with him,” he answered. Although a sad glimmer in his eye told you that there was a memory in his head that was saying otherwise.

Now you were truly alone, you thought. And with a ruler who was both a great help but could also be a great threat to you. You recalled the way he oogled you and suggested you come to his bedchamber that first night as a compliment to the royal guest and you felt yourself shrink once the carriage door closed.

Before you knew it, you were trembling, and you started to sob. Grigor took your shoulder and shushed you. He opened his mouth but stopped himself. What was there to even say?

There that coachmen and those horses were, taking your family further and further away. No more reading with your mother. No more eating with your father. No more discussing plays with your brother and his wife or anything. A part of your life. Your childhood. Your adolescence. Your youth. All you had known. All you had been raised with was leaving. That a part of you was dead and a new life with new, wild, frightening people was beginning. This time your mother wasn’t there to squeeze your hand and talk about anything. Your sister-in-law couldn’t make you laugh. Your father couldn’t put an arm around you when you cried. And your brother couldn’t rush a man into the woods with a loaded gun to protect you.

Grigor looked down at you and placed an arm around your shoulder. You leaned into him into a half embrace as the carriage holding your family disappeared in the distance like melting snow.

 Taglist: @retropetalss @queenlover05 @joeslee​ (thank you for your insight when I couldn’t decide the ending!)  @grigorlee @itsametaphorgwil @always-a-fairycat @foxinaforestofstars @simonedk @i-wished-upon-a-star-one-night @queenlover05 @xviiarez @kiainspace @gwilymleeisbae @writeroutoftime @staradorned @iwritefanficnotprophecies @panagiasikelia @marshmxllowfluf

[carpenoctem1897]

Thank You All!

I just hit 10K!!!! Im still in shock. I can't believe there are that many of you out there that enjoy what I post! It feels like just yesterday that I started this account. I appreciate all of you that were here from the beginning and all the new friends I've made along the way. Thank you! -

Georgiana

P.s.: my asks and messages are always open! I love meeting new people so if you ever have anything you want to say to me, go for it!

[spacecleavage]

what madness is this

here i am, back like i never left.

if you haven’t watched the show Sanditon, give it a try, i really love it and i only started watching it yesterday. anyway here we go with a little post 1x06 fic about the trip home.

Charlotte stared out the carriage window as they meandered through the old London streets. She attempted to keep her mind on the horizon, so that she could memorize it for her next letter home, while her father may have scoffed at it, she knew he would lean forward in his chair as her mother slowly read the details to the rest of their family. The younger ones would be struggling to keep their eyes open, while her dearest sister would be wringing her hands wishing that she had asked (begged, pleaded) with their father that she might accompany Charlotte to Sanditon with the Parkers too. Charlotte would have to write a letter just to her, detailing the ball she had just attended, the styles of dresses, the beautiful arrangements of flowers and the dancing, oh how her sister loved dancing. She tried to focus on composing the letters but a loud snort from Mister Tom Parker disturbed her yet again.

It brought her back to her surroundings all too rudely, back to the jaunting carriage, the loud snoring from Mr Parker sitting across from her, the indomitable presence of Mister Sidney Parker sitting beside her. She tried not think about the rest of the ball, sneaking back to the alcove where Lady Susan was, her paltry attempts at polite conversation with the lady. She definitely tried not to dwell on the fact that neither Mister Parker noticed she was missing until it came time to leave.

Lord did she try. But her mind kept replaying the conversation that she had with Mister Tom as they danced, interspersed with images of Mister Sidney smiling down at her, and the way that same smile seemed somehow brighter as he spoke to Ms Eliza.

Mister Tom Parker snuffled again as they hit a particularly large pothole. That same pothole sent her sliding in her seat to crash into Mister Sidney Parker.

She tried not to blanch as she felt the warmth of him against her. She mumbled out an apology and endeavoured not to notice his smile. The same smile he had worn earlier in the night, or perhaps that was just her imagination because the only light in the small carriage was that of the lamps by the road as they drove back to the London house. Yes, that was it.

She definitely did not notice the way his smile froze on his face and faded back to his mask she withdrew herself, cramming back into the furthest corner of the carriage.

She returned to staring out the window, hoping something would catch her attention enough for her to put the memories playing behind her eyelids to bed.

And even though she was tucked into the corner, so tightly she feared she may never be able to be removed, and even though her breath was slowly fogging over the window, she could still feel the heat of him beside her, seeping through her skin to settle deep down in her bones.

She supressed a shiver as a breeze of cold air rushed through the carriage through some unseen hole. It had been a warm night when they had left for the ball, and warmer even at the ball with so many people (and so much dancing). Charlotte herself had removed gloves as she spoke with Lady Susan, with the hope that it would decrease her perspiration, and she had forgotten them in her haste to depart. But England’s weather would not be thwarted, the cold leeched into everything, and though she had been sitting in the same spot for five minutes, the seat still felt cold.

The carriage lurched again, though this time she was prepared for it, and was able to catch herself from crashing into Mister Sidney again, by putting her hand in the middle of the seat. It saved her a second of awkwardness before the carriage lurched the other way, sending him careening towards her.

He used the exact same manoeuvre that stopped her from falling into him, except his hand landed on top of hers, completely encompassing it.

She knew logically that he would have bigger hands than her. He towered over her; it was to be expected. Yet still, it shocked her. She could feel the second knuckles brushing against the ends of her fingers, how much wider they were than hers and heavier too. They were calloused too, perhaps in ways that a gentleman’s should not be. And the heat of them? They were on fire compared to ice that had coursing through her veins since Mister Parker had revealed who Ms Eliza was and their history together.

She barely heard the shout of apology from the driver as Sidney picked up her hand, her tiny frozen hand. He wrapped his hand around it and Charlotte felt her heart begin to race as he let their fingers intertwine for a second.

He said something then, she made out the word frozen over the thundering blood in her ears.

She watched unable to make a sound as he shrugged off his jacket and wrapped it around her. There was a trail of fire in the wake of where he had casually touched her, it consumed her as she was not only wrapped in warmth put in smell. The scent of his tobacco, horse and a musky sweat clung to the jacket as she instinctively burrowed into it.

Her eyes fell closed as she lost herself, temporarily, in the smell and heat of his overcoat. But was brought out of it quickly by his hands taking hers again. She stared, utterly befuddled, as he brought her still cold hands up to his mouth and blew gently over them, before rubbing at them softly.

Some faraway logical part of her brain whispered that it was to warm her up, but that whisper was lost. Lost in the heat of his gaze as he stared down at her, bringing her hands up towards his lips again. His full, full lips and his eyes so dark. The heat that had settled in her seemed to pool at her belly and then clenched as his lips came so close to grazing her fingertips.

Her mouth was suddenly dry, and she could not help as her tongue darted forward to lick her lips. His eyes left hers to stare at them, her breath catching in her chest as he leaned ever closer.

Nothing around them mattered at all in that moment, all Charlotte could think about was whether his lips would taste of the same smoke that he favoured from his pipe, or perhaps more like the Alsace white that he had been drinking all night. She lent in as well, she just had to find out. They were so close…

Then the moment shattered, the carriage pulled to an abrupt stop in front of the townhouse and Mr Parker was startled awake.

The driver opened the door on Sidney's side, and he slipped out quickly, followed by Mr Parker.

She took a shuddering breath. What had just happened? Had almost kissed Mister Sidney Parker? A man, who not two hours ago had seemed to crush her fragile heart?

She took another breath, resolving not to dwell on it until she was safely tucked away in her bed. She would thank the Misters Parker for a pleasant evening, return the coat and flee straight to bed. Hopefully Georgiana would already be asleep, and she could escape without having to dwell on anything. Of course, there is a saying about good intentions, hers were quite thoroughly dashed, when instead of finding Mister Parker giving her a hand out of the carriage it was Sidney and the dark look had not left his eyes. Indeed, he clung to her hand moments too long after she had disembarked.

Mister Parker had entirely disappeared in the second she had taken to fortify herself, instead she was left all alone with Mister Sidney yet again.

Indeed, he did not remove his bare hand from hers at all, as he arranged her arm so he could lead her inside.

Charlotte knew that all reason had abandoned her as she tried to find an excuse, any excuse, to head to her bedroom alone. Instead, she found herself led there, her slowly warming fingers interlinked with his.

She was still trying to find the words to say good night when they arrived at her door. Before she could utter her modest words, he spoke.

"If it is amenable to you, Miss Charlotte," Charlotte he said her name, her Christian name and her heart of hearts whispered that she would love to hear him say it for the rest of her days. "I would ask that you dream fondly of me tonight, for I know you shall haunt my own dreams.”

And with that he was gone.

Charlotte stared at the spot he had been and wondered at which point her life had become a romance novel.

[the-writerly-night-owl]

A Very Special Christmas Story

Desire and Decorum/MC x Ernest Sinclaire

Summary: Ernest Sinclaire spends a Christmas with his now grown family to tell a story from his favorite book.

Authors Note: Holy crap wait until you see the notes for the future of the Sinclaire kids it will be long. For the 41 days of cheer: favorite book. Fun fact the story he tells is a foreshadow to the christmas book coming up. Maybe let me know which book you think I should write next? Happy reading. 

Christmas Eve 1856

Ernest Sinclaire looked at the letter address to him and saw the return address. Smiling her held off on opening it and grabbed for his cane. They would open that as a family together later that afternoon. Behind the library doors he could hear the pitter patter of small feet and shrieks of giggles. He put the letter aside and headed out.

“Grandfather,” said the voice of Arabella Sinclaire as she stopped right in front of them. The ten-year-old curtsied as she smiled brilliantly at him. “Are you okay?”

He looked at her a bit suspicious as he noted that she came to a sudden halt.

“I’m fine, now who are you chasing? Or running from?” he asked giving her a pointed look.

Arabella cleared her throat and flushed her face turning a bit red. She shifted on her feet and shook her head her auburn hair falling over her face. Ernest just laughed and offered her his arm. Nodding she took it and they headed to the main part of the house. They could hear the piano in the parlor while they walked in together.

His eyes glazed around the room to find the one person that he really wanted to see. Clara was sitting next to the window, a blanket on her lap and baby Isaac in her arms. Ernest took his spot next to her and just let his mind wander. Wow, it was hard to believe everyone in this room was here partly because of him.

“Ernest, someone wants to be held,” said Clara capturing his attention.

He smiled and took baby Isaac from her arms. The infant smiled and glanced at his jacket before picking at the buttons. He was only six months old and loved to play with anything he could find.

“Even our great grandchild likes to mess with my jacket.”

“It’s because of the buttons they’re very shiny. Can you believe that we already a great grandchild?” asked Clara laughing before resting her head on his shoulder. Isaac drooled a little on his lap as he wiped her face with his handkerchief. “He’s like her grandfather that way, Vincent loved to play with those buttons the most.”

Ernest just shook his head and looked over at the rest of the family. In this room with him there was so much family that his younger self’s head would spin if he saw them.

“Grandmother, grandfather do you have a recommendation?” asked young Maria Richards from the piano.

“Silent Night,” said Clara and gave a look to Ernest and giggled.  

“I agree with your grandmother,” he said laughing as the young girl just grinned.

She started to play the new song as he took Isaac’s hands and started to play with her gently. His eyes glancing around the room every once in a while. Georgiana and Percival giggling together. Ernest could remember being shocked when he said that he wanted to marry Georgiana. He was just floored since they had grown up together. Apparently boarding school and not being around for a couple of summers made him look at her very differently.

Most of the girls were gathered around the piano and picking out other carols to play during the night. Some of the younger children were getting ready for a game of hide and seek.

“Ernest,” said Clara not looking at him as she squeezed his thigh. “Happy Christmas.”

“Happy Christmas Clara.”

He closed his eyes for a moment and listened to the sound of his family surround them. The only people who wouldn’t be here would be the ones he prayed for the most. His heart ached for Thomas who had passed in the war when India fought for Independence. He glanced at Alicia who looked so much like Hamid keeping her boys from reaching for the presents. William who was in America with a very pregnant wife that shouldn’t be traveling right now. Andrew and his family with William staying together like they did when they were younger.

Mabel couldn’t travel with her son sick in Cordonia. He was told that they would be there in time for Easter.

“What are you thinking about?” asked Clara smiling at Isaac playing peek-a-boo.

“Just blessed. I got a letter from William, I think Martha had the baby.”

“I can’t wait to read it, I want to know if I have a grandson or a granddaughter from him.” She laughed and pushed on his shoulder some excited as if she was like a little girl again.

“I bet you know exactly what grandchild that would be wouldn’t it?” he teased.

“Number 33.”

She looked proud to know that as he saw her green eyes twinkling. Clara picked up Isaac from his arms and hugged him before kissing the infant on the head. The kids were all playing games with Clara and Ernest trying to keep up with them.

Georgiana had rushed over to Clara to talk about something with her. Something about a new dress pattern she wanted to try.

“Grandfather can you read us a story?” asked Peter, Laurnce’s son, holding a copy of A Christmas Carol in his hands. “I like it when you read aloud, I mean this is your favorite book right?”

Ernest took a long look at the cover and shook his head. He paid no mind to the girls talking about clothes and what not. He looked at the ten year old next to him and cleared his throat.

“Well that’s not my favorite book. My favorite book isn’t published and it’s in library waiting for me to add to the story.”

Peter looked up at him intently trying to figure out what book he was talking about. Next to him Georgiana and Clara shared a look with each other, they knew what he was talking about.

“What book is that then Grandfather?” he pressed trying to figure it out.

Ernest sighed and clapped a hand on his thigh on top of Clara’s hand. “Well my favorite is about Ledford Park. You see back when I married your grandmother, Ledford park had burned down.”

At this Peter’s eyes grew wide and looked a little scandalized at the news. After all they were currently sitting inside Ledford Park. Everyone around them had turned and looked at the pair. Not everyone knew this story because well there was a lot details that he didn’t want to remember. Particularly those details about Percival’s father.

“That’s your favorite book?” asked Fitzwilliam who just had a puzzled look on his face.

“Well my favorite book tells the story of 1816. Your grandmother got it for me as a wedding gift. It is about when I met your grandmother and when we courted and when we married. It’s the first chapter in the story of Ledford Park.”

Next to them on the floor Eleanora gasped and put her cards down. “I know that book. I didn’t know that you wrote that Grandfather.”

Ernest grinned, she read every kind of book she could get her hands on when she was here. It didn’t surprise him.

“I did.”

“It’s not your favorite book because you wrote it, is it?” asked Charles staring at him.

“No, it’s my favorite book because it’s the story of our family.”

“Am I in it?” asked Peter.

Ernest nodded as he looked around at his grandchildren who had given him full attention. Clara smiled and bit her bottom lip and nodded at him. He knew that look and what was coming next.

“How about instead of reading A Christmas Carol by Mr. Dickens, I read a few passages to you from my favorite book.” He sighed and looked at his daughter catching Georgiana’s eye. “Sweetheart would you mind getting the book? It’s on the writing table, I just added to it this morning. I’ll read to you what I wrote about our first Christmas together. You know we helped someone get engaged that year.”

The girls gathered around sitting on their knees to get closer to him. They loved to hear stories about weddings and happy beginnings of marriages. All nineteen of his grandchildren huddled in close and his four children passed around blankets and hot drinks. His granddaughter in law, Genevieve, took Isaac to sit back and listen.

His wrinkled hands took the book from Georgiana and watched her sit next to Percival. Vincent next to Amelia. Ernie and Leila side by side with cups of tea. Laurence sat with his wife, believe it or not, Rebecca Marlcaster. Figures that it would be the way to make Briar related to her.

“This is what it’s like to be popular huh?” he asked as Clara rolled her eyes.

“Now you know what it’s like to be me,” she teased.

He just shook his head and found the page. A rush of memories of being young flooded in his mind. What it was like to kiss Clara for the first time. He still remembered holding Vincent for the first time like it was yesterday. Ernest found the pages marked Christmas of 1816. Clara had taken his hand and nodded at him to continue. Everyone was comfortable and ready to hear him read.

78-year-old Ernest Sinclaire took his time telling his and Clara’s story as he saw it to his family. He was looking forward the quips that Clara would add in and smiled.

Tag list:  @hellooliviaolivia @noeschoices @flyawayboo @queen-among-writers @am-i-invisible777 @adrianadmirer @fluffy-cat-whisper @melodyofgraves @symonde @paisleylovergirl @elainew13 @itsbrindleybinch @brightpinkpeppercorn @darley1101 @mfackenthal @jlpplays1 @writerapprentice @indescribablechoices @wildsayeed @princess-geek @perriewinklenerdie 

[elejah-verse]

Dreams Of Love/2

Fanfiction

Part 2/2

Sidney x Charlotte

Sanditon

🌺

a/n: thank you so much for all your likes and comments, and for reading. 😘❤️

It’s a tad bit of angsty, but a promise of grand HEA!

Part 1 link 

💝💕🌹

The next morning

Sidney woke up rubbing his face evoking the moments of the night before.

Flashback

"Rum!" - Sidney said to the pub landlord.

As the man served him the drink, Sidney looked at it as if it was a demon calling him to go back, take the plunge through the gates of Hell. 

But why? Why embrace the darkness again? A voice in his head, the angelic voice of Charlotte whispered. Because.Sidney muttered in a low voice.

Because what? The voice said. Sidney took a deep mental breath. Because I am a damaged man. I have nothing ti give her, really.

You will give up without even trying? I thought you were a man of strong conviction?!

I was. I am not anymore. She is in fact better off without me. Sidney picked the jug with the rum.

Sidney now got up with a small huff, steadying himself. His head was banging. The rum. Undertow. Once again, you let yourself fall. But why do you believe that you cannot be happy. Why?

The knock at the door, brushed away the struggle in his heavy head.

“Who is it?”

“Tom.”

“Come in.”- Sidney said getting up.

Entering the room and closing the door behind him, Tom looked at his brother with a face laced with pained worry.

“Sidney - what - I do not understand- if Babbington didn’t fetch me last night - what is going on with you? Yesterday, you were full of life. You-”

“I just - it will not happen again. I am sorry if I have embarrassed you. Did Mary - I will apologize to her.”

“She is gravely worried. Just like me.”- Tom said.

“Did - anyone else see me - ?”

“If you are referring to Miss Lambe and Charlotte - No. They were asleep. And we made sure that Joseph and Alice don’t say anything. What has triggered this? Why would you drink yourself to oblivion?”

Sidney gulped a little, looking at his brother with deep regret in his eyes for his behaviour. But he remained silent. 

Tom nodded a little, understanding that Sidney was not ready to talk about it. 

“I am going away.”- Sidney then said-”Can you please send Alice up to help me pack?”

“Right.”- Tom said and now giving his brother another deep look of sadness and worry mixed, went out of the room. 

Clenching his fists, Sidney’s whole being wanted to scream. Flashing back again to the night before.

Flashback

“You should stop, man!”- Lord Babbington now took the bottle of rum from Sidney.

“Give me the drink back!”- Sidney demanded. 

“No. Enough! I do not understand what has brought this on? You said that you and Eliza are done. It is buried. Gone for good?”

“It is not Eliza.”- Sidney said wanting to grab the bottle of his friend and confidante.

“What else then? Who else - could make you relapse so badly?”

“I don’t want to talk about it. Give me the rum!”- Sidney demanded.

“I will not. You had enough - Let me take you home.”

“Home? Where exactly?”

“Stop this, Sidney. Did you not talk of settling back here. New dreams of the future.”

“Dreams - future”- Sidney huffed sarcastically in his drunken stupor. 

“Yes, dreams of a new beginning. Dreams of love - Miss Haywood - I didn’t want to mention it - but at the dance in London - I do believe that Miss Haywood has feeling for you -”

“Feelings for me? Oh, Babbington - you could not be further from - huh - she is marrying another man!”

“What? Are you sure?”

“Yes - I heard her myself. And - I don’t blame her. I would run away from me as fast as I could. Give me that bottle back!”- Sidney now grabbed the bottle off Lord Babbington.

Sidney now splashed his face with the ice cold water. Drying it away, he looked out into the garden where Tom’s children were playing.

I was a ghost Halted and fled Kneeling There of the heart God undertow Feeling

In the dining room, Charlotte stayed behind with Mary. Taking a sip of the tea, she now said-

“I really don’t want to - uhm- but is everything all right? Is Sidn- Mr Parker all right? He is not ill, is he?”

“No. He is just - he caught a cold. If you will excuse me my dear, I have to see to the children.” Mary put a small reassuring smile on and left the room. 

Charlotte sighed a little, dismissing her thoughts that something much worse was in the matter. But her heart could not be convinced and now left the room, to search for answers.

🎩🌂

Some time later

Sidney knocked a little at the door of the drawing room and stepping in he said-

“Miss Haywood”

“Mr Parker”- Charlotte said and stood up.

“I’ve come to say goodbye.”- Sidney then said.

“Goodbye? Oh- Mary said that you are - you are leaving? But you said that you will personally overlook the works on the building for the rowing club?”

“I think that Mr Stringer is very capable of completing job and I am sure you will help him with it immensely.”- Sidney said. 

“Me? I don’t- ”

“I - wish you all the best. I hope you will be very happy.”

“Excuse me- I don’t quite understand. Two days ago you were so very excited about the plans and you pledged that you will give Tom, Mr Stringer a hand with the Sanditon development and now you - what? Decided that it is not for you anymore? I thought you cared about us, Tom, Mary, Sanditon?!”- Charlotte breathed in, disappointment and hurt seeping from her eyes.

“I do.”- Sidney now said feeling his heart coming apart, continuing in a slow whisper-”More than you know.”

“So why are you leaving? This doesn’t make sense?”

“Goodbye”- Sidney now said and turned away.

“Coward!”- Charlotte burst out in anger suddenly overwhelming her.

The word hit him like a lightning bolt and he turned around, looking at her wide-eyed.

“What did you call me?”

“I am sorry - but I - I know that there is a lot of work ahead of us and we still don’t have sufficient funds to execute the whole development and it is not going to be easy. I thought that you are a man of your word. A man that does not give up easily. The man, who single-handedly dealt with Georgiana’s kidnappers. The man that I come to admire so greatly. The man I -”

“The man you - ?”

Charlotte swallowed hard, feeling her heart pounding violently in her chest, wanting to burst out.

“The man I fell in love with.” - Charlotte stated boldly.

Cut me like a rose Turn me like a beast Hold me on the floor Heavy like the force between us

Sidney gulped in surprise, looking at her now with eyes gleaming softly.

“I thought you - and Stringer - aren’t you engaged to Mr Stringer?”

“What? No!”- Charlotte muttered and then quickly resumed-”Oh - How do you - “

“I - overheard the servants talking - so you are not engaged to Mr Stringer?”

“No.”- Charlotte said.

Sidney now smiled, his heart jumping up with relief, stepping towards her, taking her hands in his.

Charlotte shook her head a bit, now looking at Sidney’s hands gently squeezing them and then at him.

“I fell in love with you, too.”- Sidney now said.

“You’re in love with me, too?”

“Yes. I am in love with you! And - yesterday I wanted to - but then I heard that you were engaged and I -”

“You decided to leave”- Charlotte concluded.

“I could not bear looking you and him together. My heart could not take it.”- Sidney admitted. 

“Oh, Sidney”

“Charlotte - I -” - Sidney started and now knelt down on one knee, still holding her hands in his -”Will you do me the honour of accepting to be my wife?”

“Yes! I will! Yes!”- Charlotte exclaimed smiling broadly. 

Standing up, gazing down in her eyes for a second, Sidney cupped her face gently, and as his lips now captured hers, she felt like she was walking on air. His mouth was warm, the caress of his lips softer than she ever could have imagined. It was magic. Magic that banished all the demons of the past, bringing a light crashing in, never to be broken, sealing all the dreams of love till the end of time.